Same idea, other team. Today it’s the Motor City Machine Guns.

Again, not a best of and I’ll skip the DVD matches. You know, all like two tag team matches.

Also again, we’ll start things off in the early days of the team. From Victory Road 2007 in a BIZARRE feud.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund

The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.

He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.

One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.

Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.

From Genesis 2007 for a major showdown.

Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns

It’s the second brawl on the ramp to start the match tonight. The Guns take over with their speed early on and bust out some nifty double teaming stuff. The Dudleys start to walk off and then go after the announcers for a bit. Ok back to the match with Bubba vs. Sabin in the first official pairing of the match. A slick hurricanrana sends Ray into Shelley and Ray is frustrated. Off to D-Von who gets two off a side slam/legdrop combo.

Sabin literally dives into a tag to Shelley who fires off some strikes to take over. Ray breaks up some double teaming and D-Von takes over on Alex for a bit. Some chinlocking is broken up by an enziguri but he can’t make the tag. Ray comes in and the guy is pretty awesome as an evil jerk. Ray challenges D-Von to see who can hit Shelley harder. Now that’s just mean.

Back to that chinlock which D-Von could at least flex on. Shelley gets a big old kick in and both guys are down. There’s your hot tag and Sabin cleans at least the basement and ground floor. Tornado DDT gets two on D-Von. As the Guns double team D-Von, Ray shouts in encouragement. “Come on D-Von! Come on! OH MY GOD!” That last part was when the Guns hit a dropkick to send him to the floor.

This actually is pretty solid stuff, mainly as the Guns are very exciting to watch. A rana sets up a frog splash for two. Ray comes back in and kills both of them with a double clothesline. Hey Alex, What’s Up? It’s Table Time and I don’t get why. Do they think they’ll get away with it? Even the Dudleys aren’t that stupid. The Guns take over again and the High Low gets two. Ray grabs his belt and whips Sabin with it a little.

Dudleyville Device gets two. A table is set up in the corner but Sabin walks up the table and backflips to the ring (think Bryan in the corner but much faster and impressive looking). D-Von is sent through the table but that isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. The Guns hit their series of kicks to Ray and we’re done.

Rating: B. Entertaining match here, odd rule choices aside. This was power vs. speed and you really don’t need to do much more than that most of the time. The matches are almost always fun and this was exactly that. This would lead into a months long feud which eventually incorporated Johnny Devine and Jay Lethal over the X-Title. It would also result in a fish market street fight but we’ve covered that before.

Time to start chasing the titles at Turning Point 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

One of the taglines things is will the Guns finally get the titles. Oh that’s rich. Neither team has their current music so things are just ridiculously bland. Again they mention the Guns possibly winning the titles. Wow that’s funny. So despite acting like heels in the back, they of course act like faces here. Could the psychology have been more messed up in TNA around this time?

The challengers of course are all over the place and getting a ton of damage in on Storm. Shelley reminds me of Miz a bit looks wise. ALL Guns here as Shelley hits a Lionsault for two. The champions take over as I think we’re going to be in for a long while here. Storm puts on his hat which of course makes him fail.

I love the missing the tag thing which is as basic as possible of a tag cheating tactic but it works every time and is perfectly legal. Shelley hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to get enough time for the hot tag to Sabin. The crowd is uncommonly quiet here. Dang the Guns are fun to watch.

Storm has been gone for a LONG time. It’s a double team clinic from the Guns here and they’re completely dominating. Storm comes back in and botches what is now Madison Rayne’s move. The big Tower of Doom spot does nothing special at all as they kind of just fall backwards. ASCS Rush to Roode but here’s Jackie of course because we have to have the annoying pest in there once at least. Storm spits Beer in Sabin’s eyes so that DWI can keep the belts for Beer Money. Yes the Guns lose again. Film at 11.

Rating: B-. Not bad here. This was another one of those matches where they let them do their thing and it worked for the most part, but at times the Guns’ offense gets so ridiculous that it’s a waste of time and takes away the point of it. Not bad, but nothing classic, as we’ll get to those later.

Due to the DVD clipping some of the matches, we’ll jump to Turning Point 2009.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

We hit the spotfest at Destination X 2010.

Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer screws up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.

Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking hell? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.

There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.

Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.

In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!

Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.

Time for the big showdown with Beer Money, starting on Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

Off to TV for a match in the EPIC best of five series with Beer Money. From Impact, July 29, 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Technically this is a title match but not really. Screw it as it makes the show sound better. The Guns climb in over the back of the cage to get an early advantage. Roode is busted open early and we’re tagging in a cage match. I’ve always hated that. They’re flying around and there’s little flow to it. They’re going with the tag match in a cage instead of tag team cage match, which is fine.

Taz says Beer Money has the lead in the series in his opinion. I’m pretty sure they have it in reality too Taz. Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick which is awesome. Shelley hits a top rope double stomp which is always a dangerous as all goodness bump to me. Storm hits an elevated Backstabber as this match is pretty solid. Everyone other than Sabin goes for the escapt but they all come down.

Sabin does a cross body off the top to take down Beer Money in a cool spot. Storm gets the beer bottle from somewhere and cracks it over the head of Roode by mistake. The Guns hit their finisher to take over and get to pick the match next week which they’ll win to set up the final match later on.

Rating: B. Solid match here but at just 10 minutes or so it needed more. These matches have been good but having one a week is just kind of overkill of it. I get it: the matches are great, but it would be nice to have a point to them and have matches where the winners aren’t completely predictable. Also: the Guns are now 1-2 as tag champions.

And the finals of the series on Impact, August 12, 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.

Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.

Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.

Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.

Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.

Time to defend the things against ANYONE else, starting at No Surrender 2010.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.

The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.

We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.

The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.

Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.

And again at Turning Point 2010.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns

After a lot of standing around looking at each other, D-Von and Shelley start. Pre-match handshake is always nice to see. They start with some technical/mat stuff and not a lot is going on so far. Dueling chants begin. We’re told that Dreamer, Raven and Tazz started the Dudley Boys which is only technically true as the Dudley Family, who didn’t start off as Bubba and D-Von, were based on the brothers from the movie Slapshot. Ah ok they mention that at least.

They get to say Dudley Boys here which is surprising. Sabin vs. Bubba now. Big boot cuts the head off of the small one. Back to the starters now with the Guns in control. Shelly might have hurt his knee off a top rope move but his knee seems to be ok as it gets worked on by Bubba. They’re going for the big match here and it’s working to an extent.

Back off to Sabin now and some modified Poetry in Motion and double teaming sends the Dudleys to the floor. Sabin misses a dive though and eats floor. Bubba goes into the post and DIVES under the ring. Shockingly when he comes back up he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Shelley bends Bubba’s fingers back which is a freaking ow move if there ever has been one.

They’re trying to make the Guns wrestle heel here because this is a rather stupid company. Top rope Batista Bomb gets two on Sabin. Nice one there. Bubba’s facial expressions are kind of funny. Shelley kicks D-Von while he’s on the apron to a few boos. Sabin and D-Von both come in off hot tags as the cranking up thing here isn’t really happening.

Sabin gets beaten down for awhile while the other two are on the floor. D-Von catches Poetry in Motion and throws Shelley onto Sabin which was cool. All Dudleys here as D-Von hits the top rope headbutt on Shelley for two as Sabin makes the save. What’s Up hits and it’s table time. This version is in the corner if you’re curious. HUGE table chant.

As per the laws of table usage, the person that set it up, Bubba in this case, goes into it. Skull and Bones hits D-Von for only two. That gets kicked out of every time. 3D to Sabin but it only gets two as Sabin kicks out. That’s not something you ever see so I can give it points there. Skull and Bones to Bubba end it soon afterwards to set up the big send off.

Rating: C+. They were going for the big and epic match here and didn’t really get there. This was good but at the same time it’s just another title win for the Guns, which is the right move at least. I don’t buy them leaving at all but that’s neither here nor there. This wasn’t a classic but it was by far the best match of the night so far.

One more time with the Bucks at Final Resolution 2010.

Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machineguns

I still can’t believe that there are no more challengers other than these guys. This is Full Metal Mayhem, which according to Gen Me before this match is the final match in this rivalry. Don’t you have to beat the other team once to make it a rivalry? The fight is on before the Guns even make it to the ring. Don’t expect much play by play here due to the large amount of stuff going on here.

Jeremy with a slingshot X Factor to take out Sabin and in one movement he hits the apron and takes out Shelley with a moonsault. Sweet spot. Sabin and Jeremy are left in the ring. Gen Me goes for the first ladder but of course gets it sent into their faces as they’re trying to bring it into the ring. Once it’s finally in the ring Jeremy does the ladder ride down onto Shelley.

Gen Me almost gets to the belts until they realize the belts are too high up in the air. Nice job guys. Granted that might have been on purpose. Shelley takes out the knee of Max. The Guns are in control and are mostly dominant here. Sabin goes up but there goes the ladder and he hits the top rope on the way down. The fans want tables….again. Some indy company should raffle off a table once and see how big of a pop they get.

The ladders get laid over Gen Me and then Sabin puts chairs over those. Shelly gets a double stomp off the top to drive everything into them. That looked pretty awesome. Shelly goes up the ladder but he too can’t reach the belts. Their solution is to bring in more ladders for some reason. Taz isn’t sure what that’s going to accomplish either. Gen Me gets up and it’s a big brawl again.

Alex sets up a table as I have a bad feeling that I know where this is going. And I’m wrong. I was thinking they were going to put a ladder on the table but they put the table on the ladders like a scaffold so that they can stand on the top and have some actual balance rather than standing on the top of a ladder. That makes a lot of sense.

Then Sabin realizes he can’t climb the ladders with the table on top. This is a work in progress I suppose. The Guns bring in another table and realize that’s not going to work either. Max puts Sabin on the table and spits on him like a truly evil man. Shelly manages to get Sliced Bread on Jeremy through a table to the floor. Sabin and Jeremy get up to the table scaffold and have a chair duel. Sabin wins that and Jeremy goes through the table to allow Sabin to grab the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. This was definitely fun. It’s not up to the original TLC matches but it was definitely good. The ending was creative which is always a good thing. It was ahead of most MITB matches also. This was good like you would expect it to be, but at the same time was there ever any real doubt to the Guns retaining the belts? I never thought there was at least. Still though, fun stuff.

Injuries and singles runs would stop the team for a good while. Here’s their last major match at Lockdown 2012.

Tag Titles: Motorcity Machineguns vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe

The Guns have generic music to start but their regular theme starts during their walk to the ring. Methinks that was a glitch. You can win by pin, submission or escape for the rest of the matches. Magnus and Shelley start things off. Things speed way up to start and Magnus gets a clothesline for two. Sabin gets a blind tag and a pair of kicks get two. Off to Joe who is too fat for Sabin to run over.

A crucifix into a sunset flip doesn’t really work either so let’s try a dropkick. That at least slows Joe down and it’s off to Shelley. Back to Magnus who gets caught in a pinball series of punches. Magnus comes back and manages a fallaway slam to throw Sabin into Shelley in a cool spot. Back to Joe who pounds Sabin down to give us a face in peril. I think he’s in peril to another face but you get the idea.

The champions double team Sabin to keep him in the ring including a big boot to set up a backsplash for two. Magnus hooks a chinlock but Chris comes back with a jawbreaker to get out. A spinning spinebuster puts Sabin right back down and it’s off to Joe again. Snap suplex gets two. Sabin grabs a tornado DDT while climbing up Magnus and is able to make the tag. Shelley comes in but even that doesn’t wake this crowd up.

Sliced Bread is broken up but Sabin powerbombs Joe out of the corner. Magnus is knocked off the top and a top rope double stomp gets two for Shelley. A move I think called the elevated Hero’s Welcome gets two on Magnus. Skull and Bones is broken up and Sabin is caught in the Clutch. Sliced Bread hits Magnus and Joe has to break up the choke to make the save. The champions’ finisher misses so Sabin hooks up a rear naked choke on Joe. Magnus hits a kind of Michinoku Driver on Shelley and Joe runs out of the corner, dropping Sabin on Shelley. The snapmare/elbow gets the pin on Shelley at 11:19.

Rating: B-. This started really slow but once they stopped the tagging it got a lot more exciting. I definitely agree with the champions retaining here as there’s nothing for the Guns to do in this division anymore. Having them as something like Beer Money for the last year they were together would be a much better spot for them which is something they could do now.

I really don’t think the Guns need that much of an explanation. They’re just great no matter how you look at them and were one of the most precise tag teams you’ll ever see. There’s always a place for a team that just fires off offense so fast while thinking as one. It was cool with the Rockers and Midnight Express did it and it’s still cool here.

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I just got done with the fairly lame Best of Beer Money and Motor City Machine Guns so I figured I’d take my own shot at them. We’ll start with Beer Money.

I’ll be skipping the matches on the DVD to avoid making you read them again. And no this isn’t meant to be a Best Of before you ask.

We’ll start things off in the early days of the team, back at Victory Road 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here. Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie.

So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say? I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit.

Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.

This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.

Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?

From soon after, at Hard Justice 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.

Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.

An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.

Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.

The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.

Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.

From the biggest show of the year: Bound For Glory 2008.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

Beer Money (Roode and Storm, managed by Jacqueline) are defending, this is Monster’s Ball and Steve Mongo McMichael is guest referee. Storm is wearing a hat with two beers attached in a somewhat funny bit. Abyss has a story going on here as he’s been in therapy to stop using weapons. Everyone gangs up on the champions to start before it breaks off into a slow paced brawl. LAX works over Storm in the ring with Hernandez catapulting him into a Homicide clothesline.

Roode comes in to try and save his partner but Hernandez knocks him out to the floor. Homicide hits his flip dive through the ropes, setting up a big plancha from Hernandez. Ray nails Hernandez with a trashcan lid in the aisle as Homicide elbows D-Von in the jaw. It’s fork time and D-Von’s head gets carved up. The monsters finally get involved as Abyss comes in for Shock Treatment on Homicide.

Ray hits Abyss low with a cheese grater before slicing Abyss’ skin open. Ray of course licks the cheese grater because he’s a bit sick. It’s Hernandez back in now but Ray runs him over and nails a splash in the corner. A superplex drops Hernandez and Ray’s delayed cover gets one. Roode comes back in with a Blockbuster and a VERY slow two count. We get our first taste of Matt Morgan who suplexes both champions before loading up Old School on Roode. Storm charges back in so Morgan dives over Roode for a cross body.

D-Von plants Roode but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. He loads up one on Roode as well but Storm distracts him with the bag of tacks. McMichael takes the bag away for no apparent reason so Storm puts on his beer football helmet. He challenges McMichael (a former NFL player) to get in a three point stance. Roode has a football from somewhere and they actually hike it with Steve running Roode over with a clothesline. Homicide covers and MAN ALIVE does Mongo count slow.

The fans want tables but get a huge dive off the top with Morgan taking everyone out in a huge crash. Team 3D singles out Abyss with various trashcan related objects. Ray finds a staple gun to go after Abyss’ cut forehead. Abyss fights back until Team 3D lackey Johnny Devine comes out with a kendo stick to slow the monster down. D-Von and Devine load up a table in front of the stage…and we have lighter fluid. Devine lights it up and a double chokeslam puts Abyss through the table. I believe that was on TNA highlight reels for a long time.

Morgan chases Roode back to ringside but he walks right into a Last Call from Storm. Beer Money celebrates but Hernandez nails them with a kendo stick. Team 3D is nowhere in sight for some reason so Homicide dropkicks both champions down. Storm dives into a sitout powerbomb from Hernandez but Mongo’s slow count means it’s only two. Hernandez plants Roode and Homicide’s top rope splash gets the same. The Gringo Cutter plants Storm but Jacqueline breaks up the count at two because she can’t just go away.

The Carbon Footprint nails Hernandez but Homicide rolls out of the Hellevator. Team 3D crawls out from whatever hole they fell into and call for the tables, only to get blasted by Hernandez. He sets up a table in the ring and pours the tacks on top for good measure. Ray pops back up and the 3D puts Hernandez through the table, but Storm spits beer in D-Von’s face, allowing Roode to steal the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. I liked the match more than I thought I would and it’s definitely a step up over some versions of this match they’ve had over the years. The champions stealing the pin was a good thing and the big men doing crazy high spots worked. McMichael has somehow managed to be useless as both a wrestler and a referee, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. Even Danny Davis had some value.

We’ll skip over 2009 to avoid the DVD content and pick things up at Genesis 2010.

Kevin Nash/Syxx-Pac vs. Beer Money

Penzer’s mic cuts up a lot during the announcement of the Band. Hall and Pac need to leave soon. They’re just not worth anything anymore, not when there are so many young guys that can do their thing just as well. THANK GOODNESS there’s no beer wagon there or whatever for Storm to ride on. I hate that thing. Still not entirely sold on Beer Money but they’re not terrible at all.

Pac and Storm, who looks a bit like Shane Douglas in the eyes to me, start us off. Nash comes in and thankfully he manages to not get injured yet. Pac isn’t bad, which I think is because they’re keeping him away from the bigger guys. I’ve never been able to get into him vs. a big man. It just never worked at all for me. I freaking hate the Bronco Buster. Have I made that clear over the years?

Hall eventually stumbles out, having lost the rock paper scissors game that they keep bringing up. And Hall randomly pulls a fan over the railing and kicks his head in. In the ring Nash gets caught by presumably a superkick although we can’t see it and Roode pins him. Thank goodness there as I really thought they would have it go the other way.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here, but again it was nothing special. Beer Money winning was a HUGE positive here and really does relieve a lot of my worries here. The match wasn’t terrible but it’s nothing great. The whole show has just been ok from a wrestling standpoint, which isn’t good as this is supposed to be all top level matches right?

Down to Mexico for TripleMania XVIII.

Tag Titles: Los Maniacos vs. Beer Money vs. Atsushi Aoki/Go Shiozaki vs. Nicho/Joe Lider

This is under elimination rules and Shiozako/Aoki are champions coming in. Los Maniacos are Silver Cain (Silver King from WCW who has lost his mask and Ultimo Gladiator). An interesting point here is that the champions are introduced by the wrong name with one guy not getting an announcement at all. Also from what I’ve read, only Konnan knew either their names or Beer Money’s names. Cain basically is something like Mr. America where everyone knows it’s Silver King but officially it’s a different guy as his name is different if that makes sense.

The wrong music plays for the champions as it’s Beer Money’s song instead. Ok here is Beer Money to the right music. They’re part of the Foreign Legion tonight. See how the group works now? In the back the final team is coming to the ring but some guy in a suit says Konnan is out there and not to go after them. That would be Nicho/Lider who are La Hermandad 187 (the 187 Brotherhood). Nicho is more famous as Psicosis without the mask. The Japanese guys and Lider almost get into it before the match.

No tagging here again it seems. This is going to take some getting used to. Roode and someone are on the floor. Also cut out the wide shots. I can’t see anyone specifically for the most part. Four in the ring and four on the floor at the moment. I think Beer Money is on the floor. It’s the Japanese guys and Los Maniacos in there at the moment. Nicho who is apparently a millionaire is down.

Only the champions (Japanese guys remember) are staying in the ring and on their feet the whole time. One hits a frog splash to I think Lider for two. Beer Money vs. Japanese guys at the moment. I know I’m saying Japanese guys a lot but it’s the best description I can give you in a short amount of time. Hermanadad gets in Konnan’s face with chairs but the champions jump them to save K–Dawg.

Beer Money works on Nicho with a wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combination. They set for the BEER MONEY thing but Hermanadad gets a pair of rollups for two each. Nicho vs. Aoki at the moment with the champion winning. Storm is ripping Cain’s mask and almost has it off. Nicho vs. Aoki in the ring at the moment and Aoki is sent to the floor. Tope con Giro by Nicho takes down Aoki.

La Hermanadad beats on Aoki now until Shiozaki comes in. A middle rope Backstabber out of nowhere to Shiozaki puts him out and the champions are gone! Konnan FREAKS as we’re down to three teams. Storm has a chair now and sets it up in the corner. Beer Money beats on the Hermanadad as we haven’t seen much from the masked dudes. Beer Money screws up and Roode head winds up in Storm’s crotch.

Los Manacos get into it again and go after 187 which is what I’m going to say instead of La Hermanadad. 187 is down but get up to hit stereo Downward Spirals to Beer Money. Storm takes what we would call a Mooregasm and then add….something which gets two on Storm. It was some double team move but it was hard to see what it was. Konnan distracts 187 again and a chair to the head of Lider by Storm ends them and we’re down to Los Manacos vs. Beer Money for the titles.

Tower of Doom spot doesn’t really work at all but it looked ok and got two for Roode. Nicho goes after Konnan with a chair but can’t hit him. The fans are completely behind Manacos. Cain misses a moonsault and the slingshot DDT kills Gladiator as it’s all Beer Money with the spinebuster to Cain. Heel miscommunication occurs though and it’s Gladiator vs. Storm.

There are two referees in the ring for some reason. Spear takes down Storm for two. Roode and Cain have gone off to find a Bingo game or something. Storm hits a powerslam for two. Superkick by Storm misses and Cain hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the titles. HUGE pop for that as they’re faces and Mexicans hold the titles again.

Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.

Back to America for a quick TV match against a team you may have heard of. From Impact, July 15, 2010.

Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

This is the first match in a best of 5 series: a ladder match. It’s not for the titles or anything like that. The winner gets to pick the next stipulation. The Guns being introduced as champions is indeed a cool sounding thing though. I love double suicide dives. This is a total mess. I know it’s a ladder match but come on now.

It’s not particularly bad or anything, but this is an hour into the show (no Nash and it’s 10pm) and it’s yet another gimmick match. Sabin misses a rung for a run up the ladder so it slows things down a bit. Shelley gets a great shot with a ladder to Roode’s knee. Storm hits a Backstabber on Shelley as this is just a big mess. Again it’s not horrible but it feels like a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match.

After more insanity we have a ref bump. Well what would a match be without that? Sabin gets up the ladder and gets the contract but Storm pops him with the beer bottle. The referee that was down (there were two and yet they managed to have a Dusty Finish) sees Storm with the contract and gives them the win. Yep, they jobbed the Guns four days after they won the belts. Well at least they managed to get one cool intro.

Rating: C+. I’m split here. The match is certainly entertaining and I’m not arguing that at all. However it felt like a massive mess of a match with more or less no psychology at all. This felt like having a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match which is against the idea of gimmick matches in the first place. It’s definitely entertaining and a good match, but it could have been MUCH more which is what hurts it.

We’ll keep it going at Genesis 2011.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machineguns vs. Beer Money

Shelley vs. Roode to start us off here. The announcers try to play up the difference in styles here which is there but it’s pretty clear they’re trying to come up with a way to make this fresh. The fans chant for the Guns. They go back and forth with some nice technical stuff before the Guns unleash the kicks to take over on Roode. Off to Storm who is sent to the floor.

Stereo suicide dives (missed by the cameras) take down Beer Money as this has been one sided for the most part. Shelley misses a double stomp so he kicks Storm in the stomach instead. A big old clothesline gives Beer Money the advantage as the beating is on. Shelley fights Storm off and hits Sliced Bread #2 to…not get the tag as Roode comes in.

That helps a lot as the hot tag would have been ice cold there. Yeah I know how stupid that sounded. They’re going with the formula here and that’s fine for this case. Shelley can’t get out as Storm comes back in. BEER! MONEY! GETS THE CROWD BEHIND THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE HEELS BUT THEY NEED A SIGNATURE THING BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT WRESTLERS HAVE TO DO! If they can chant that I’ll give them all ham sandwiches.

Sabin drills Storm on the floor and there’s the tag. Hesitation dropkick to Roode in the Tree of Woe gets two. Rana by Sabin takes Roode down. Slick double team move by the Guns to set up a tornado DDT for two. Everyone is in now as it all breaks down again. Shelley gets a double stomp on Roode for two.

Backstabber and an enziguri gets rid of Shelley and Storm respectively. There’s the beer spit into the spinebuster for a long two as this is getting very good very fast. Pescado takes out Storm and Roode is in big trouble. Skull and Bones hit but Storm pulls the referee out. Somehow that’s not a DQ as Sabin gets caught in a Northern Lights Suplex on a counter to the tornado DDT. DWI gets two on Sabin. And then the Guns miscommunicate so Roode can roll up Shelley to end the title reign.

Rating: A-. Another great match from these guys which is likely going to be the match of the night so far. I don’t have an issue with the Guns losing here as they held the titles for the better part of ever, but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in this division so we can have a fresh matchup? Yes this is great, but we’ve seen what, 7 matches between them in a few months? Give us something new before this gets stale.

We’ll get a new opponent at Victory Road 2011.

Tag Titles: Ink Inc vs. Beer Money

I could see this being good. Neal vs. Storm starts us off With no one taking over we get a double tag and some technical stuff follows. The fans are split which makes sense for once as they’re both face teams. Moore gets a leg lariat for two. Neal comes in now and takes a powerslam for two. This is taking a bit to get off the ground here.

Moore back in now and we hit the chinlock. They do some basic stuff and it’s one of those moments where stuff happens but nothing is going on. It’s ok but there is no interest in this at all. It could be because there’s no history here and it’s there for the sake of having a title match. Roode gets a spinebuster on Neal for two. Ink Inc takes over again as Taz isn’t even sure who is legal.

Roode gets the formerly Northern Lariat (clothesline to the back of the head) to Neal and goes up top with Moore. Down goes Roode and a Whisper in the Wind to Storm gets no cover. Roode with a Rock Bottom for two. BEER MONEY thing kind of gets the crowd hot but Neal hits the spear on Storm. Neckbreaker gets two on Roode. Moore wants to use the chain but Neal disagrees. Beer Money comes back and the DWI ends Moore. I guess they’re splitting one of the two active teams worth anything.

Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part. It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad. Like I said: just kind of there. The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys. This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all. Granted that might be Shannon Moore.

One more match before the eventual split. From Hardcore Justice 2011.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

TNA named them that so don’t yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It’s officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.

Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.

Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it’s been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.

Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it’s time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!

Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain…again.

Rating: C. Match was again just ok but at the same time, what are they waiting for with Beer Money? They’ve already had the longest title reign in the history of the belts and they’ve beaten everyone that there is to beat. Knowing TNA they’ll just hand the titles to part of Immortal but whatever. They need to drop the titles but I have no idea who they could do that to. The back injury was never mentioned and Storm looked fine.

The team would break up a few months later and spent years feuding. Here they are joining forces for a one night only reunion on Impact, April 24, 2014.

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

As is usually the case, TNA tag teams are far better than most WWE teams. Beer Money may not be the best tag team the company has ever produced (still AMW) but they were as good as we were going to get in this era. They just worked well together and there’s almost nothing you can do to top that. Check them out if you somehow haven’t before.

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Best of Beer Money
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Taz
Host: Jeremy Borash

I’m going to cheat a bit with this as this is actually half of a DVD set called Fandemonium, which focused on Beer Money and the Motor City Machine Guns. However, since the set is two DVDs and has nothing to do with each other, I’m splitting this up into two reviews. I think the title says it all here so let’s get to it.

We’re starting with Beer Money and a quick intro from JB.

Storm and Roode say they’re another team thrown together but the difference is they’re both career tag guys.

Team 3D Tag Team Invitational Tournament Finals: Beer Money Inc. vs. British Invasion

From Sacrifice 2009 with the winners getting a title shot against Team 3D plus a trophy and $100,000. The Invasion is Magnus and Douglas Williams with Rob Terry in their corner. Team 3D jumps in on commentary. Roode and Williams get things going with the fans chanting USA. Douglas easily takes him down to the mat and Roode is quickly frustrated. Back up with Douglas cranking on the arm again and taking Bobby down to the mat with ease.

Roode tries some power instead but eats a jumping back elbow to the jaw. Instead, Roode takes him down with a snapmare and the Hennig neck snap before Storm comes in with a Russian legsweep for two. Off to Magnus who takes some right hands to the head before throwing Storm over the top, only to have the cowboy skin the cat. Again I wonder who came up with a term like that.

Everything breaks down for a bit with Beer Money picking Magnus up and ramming him into Williams. Beer Money do their SHOUT OUR NAME bit before Roode backdrops Storm onto the entire Invasion. Rob Terry finally gets in a cheap shot and the Brits take over on Storm. Magnus stomps away as Bully talks about hitting the Invasion with a kettle while they have tea and crumpets. We hit the chinlock for a bit before James comes back with a Backstabber to put both guys down.

Williams comes in before Storm can tag though and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Douglas finally misses a charge into the corner and the hot tag brings in Roode. Everything breaks down and Storm kicks Williams from the apron, only to be pulled outside by Terry. Williams uppercuts Roode for two but Beer Money crotches him on top, setting up a super hurricanrana from Storm and a top rope splash from Roode for two as Rob makes the save. That earns Terry an ejection but Williams grabs his Feast or Fired briefcase, only to have Roode take it away and knock him silly for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it needed a little more time. Beer Money is a more interesting team than the Brits, though the Invasion wans’t a bad midcard stable with Rob doing well enough out there as an enforcer. Beer Money vs. 3D would be the best match for the division at this point so it’s hard to pick against them winning.

Storm talks about growing up on the USWA while Roode was always a big tag team fan.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Lethal Consequences vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss

From Genesis 2009. Lethal Consequences (Jay Lethal/Consequences Creed, now known as Xavier Woods) are defending, having won the titles less than a week ago. Beer Money has Jacqueline with them because she won’t just go away. Creed and Storm get things going but Consequences wants Roode and his bad knee. He stays with Storm though and nails a few kicks to take over.

Creed stays on Storm in the corner but James bails for a tag as Lethal tries to come in off the top. Jay no sells chops in the corner and nails a top rope ax handle for two. The champs start tagging in and out but Jackie comes in, only to get crushed between Beer Money in the corner. Abyss splashes all three of them and Jackie falls face first onto Storm’s crotch, followed by Roode falling onto his knees behind her. Naturally he likes it as my eyes roll.

Lethal Consequences hit big dives onto Beer Money before Morgan dives onto all four of them. It’s about time the monsters got involved. Abyss finally comes in legally but Beer Money breaks up a double chokeslam attempt and bulldog the big man down. A nice double suplex allows them to SHOUT THEIR NAMES to a fairly tame reaction. Abyss easily kicks Roode off and sends Beer Money into each other before crawling over to Morgan, only to have Creed tag himself in.

Consequences cleans house with a cross body and a double DDT for two on Storm. Beer Money comes back with a big double team into a swinging Rock Bottom from Roode for two. Storm and Roode both drop elbows for two and it’s off to Robert for a chinlock. Back up and a big spinebuster plants Creed for two before Storm comes back in, complete with a cowboy hat. James misses a charge in the corner though and Lethal comes in to speed things up. The fans FINALLY wake up and Lethal dropkicks Roode down for two before avoiding Storm’s elbow for the attempted save.

The Lethal Combination looks to set up the Macho Elbow but Morgan tags himself in to clean house. Well at least a room or two. Abyss comes in and no sells Lethal’s offense but gets kicked down by a flying Creed. The Carbon Footprint drops Creed but Beer Money plants Morgan with a Backstabber.

Morgan won’t have any of this though and throws Beer Money down, only to have Roode pop up for two off a Blockbuster. Jackie distracts the referee as the belt comes in, only to have Abyss knock Morgan out by mistake. Lethal drops the top rope elbow on Roode to break up the pin but Jackie WON’T SHUT UP, allowing Storm to Last Call Lethal to give Roode the pin on Morgan for the titles.

Rating: D+. This felt like it went on for about nineteen years and never really picked up. The fans treated it like it was even less interesting than I thought it was though, only waking up when Lethal and Morgan came in. It’s not a really bad match, but it went on too long and really dragged at points.

Beer Money talks about being thrown together and how perfect their name was. They came in when the division was stacked and took on anyone they came up against.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Team 3D

From Destination X 2009. This is an Off the Wagon Challenge, meaning it’s titles vs. TNA careers (only for whoever loses the fall) with Beer Money defending. Roode and D-Von get things going with Team 3D being the heavy crowd favorites. Roode easily takes D-Von down to ride him on the mat before driving a forearm into the back. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Ray who is taken right down as well with Roode walking over his back.

Storm (with a bad leg) comes in and hits a single right hand before posing like a boxer. Time for the standard dancing test of strength spot until Ray takes him down with a neckbreaker. Everything breaks down for a bit with Beer Money taking a beating, including a side slam/legdrop combo for two on Roode. Bobby saves his partner from What’s Up and a double suplex puts D-Von down, allowing them to SHOUT THEIR NAMES.

We settle back down with Roode hitting a nice dropkick for two. The champs start double teaming but D-Von sends them into each other, allowing the hot tag to Ray. We get the required Beer Money gay sex spot so Ray hits a big Rock Bottom for two on Roode. The Flip Flop and Fly drops Storm again but Bobby pops up with the Blockbuster for two.

Storm’s nice hurricanrana sets up the top rope splash from Roode for two more and the champs are getting frustrated. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face by mistake and the reverse 3D gets a VERY close near fall. They load up the regular version but Storm comes in with a chair for the DQ.

Actually hang on a minute as TNA boss Jim Cornette comes out and says this isn’t ending that way. He orders the match to be restarted with No DQ. D-Von heads outside and goes old school with a double noggin knocker as Ray steals Storm’s cowboy hat. 3D connects on Storm but Roode pulls the referee out. He picks up Storm in a fireman’s carry and leaves for the countout.

Rating: C+. This was good for the most part but the ending was rather odd. There really wasn’t a need for the second half of the match as it does the exact same thing that the DQ would have done. It’s one of the better matches so far and hopefully a sign that things are going to pick up soon.

Beer Money talks about how important it was to be in the ring with Team 3D since they were huge influences on them. Team 3D even gave them some tips on their matches, which meant a lot to Storm.

Tag Team Titles: Lethal Consequences vs. Beer Money Inc.

From Against All Odds 2009. Beer Money is defending and the video has an equation theme, mainly talking about how Lethal Consequences are really fast and want the titles back after holding them for three days. Lethal goes right after Roode to start but Robert bails into the corner. The champs slow things down and bring in Storm, only to have Creed (with a bad shoulder) dropkick him out to the floor.

Back in and Consequences easily slams James a few times before snapping off a headscissors. Creed ties Roode in the Tree of Woe and crotches Storm against Roode’s face, naturally sending Roode falling down on top of James. Much beer is consumed to clean out the taste, but Roode spits the beer on James’ face by mistake. Everything breaks down for a bit with Lethal’s back being driven into the barricade for two.

The champs take over inside with some elbow drops for two on Jay followed by a Backstabber for the same. Jay fights up but charges into a knee to the ribs to put him right back down. The champs nail a nice double superplex and LOUDLY SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Jay uses the breather to drive them into each other and roll over for the hot (not according to the fans) tag. Creed’s shoulder keeps him from throwing a lot of punches but he’s still able to nail a double clothesline.

A high cross body gets two on Storm but Jackie offers a distraction, allowing James to shove Creed off the top and arm first into the barricade. Back in and the champs start working over the arm with an ax handle and armbar for good measure. With that not working too well, Beer Money just hammers away in the corner.

Lethal FINALLY tries to make a save and actually beats them down enough to allow Creed to make the hot tag. Jay speeds things up with dropkicks and clotheslines before making Storm elbow Roode by mistake. The Macho Elbow gets two on Roode but Jackie comes in and takes a backdrop. Jay’s Lethal Combination gets another near fall on Roode as Storm can be seen loading up a chain. Lethal loads up a monkey flip but gets knocked out with the chain to retain Beer Money’s titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but Lethal Consequences felt like a team there to lose to Beer Money to make the champs look good. The three day reign really didn’t help them as it made them feel like flukes instead of a top team, but at least the match wasn’t all that bad. Creed’s shoulder injury really didn’t play into the match all that much.

Quick chat about how much it meant to beat Team 3D.

Lethal Lockdown

Beer Money Inc, Team 3D

British Invasion, Main Event Mafia

From No Surrender 2009 with Beer Money fighting for the forces of good. This is TNA’s WarGames for no apparent reason. There’s one ring and the two starters fight for five minutes until the villains get to send in a second man due to winning a match prior to tonight. That team will have a 2-1 advantage for two minutes until the team that lost the coin toss sends in a second man. They alternate every two minutes until all eight men are in. Then the roof lowers with weapons attached and it’s first fall wins.

It’s Williams and Storm to start but Douglas tries to get in a cheap shot on the stage. That earns him a beer to the face and a hiptoss on the ramp as the fight starts before the bell. They get inside with Williams choking away in the corner before he nails a running knee to the chest. Storm comes back with a powerslam for a cover that doesn’t count. Douglas nails a jawbreaker and chokes with his shirt as the fans are trying to get into this.

Back up and the Eye of the Storm has Williams in trouble before James chokes with a t-shirt. A low blow has Williams in trouble but he pops back to life and tries to send Storm into the steel. Storm chokes him against the ropes until Magnus gives the Brits a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. He takes too long getting in though, allowing Storm to baseball slide the cage door into his face. That’s fine with Magnus who slams the cage door onto James’ face to put him back down.

A High/Low has Storm in even more trouble and the Brits pose a bit. Storm is busted open and Magnus hammers away at the cut. Roode comes out to tie things up and of course cleans house as soon as he gets in. Very traditional you know. Roode catapults Williams into a DDT from Storm, followed by a Hennig neck snap and a knee drop from James. A few fans try to count down the clock from 25 seconds and it’s as lame as it sounds.

Scott Steiner makes it 3-2 as the villains take over yet again. He busts out a Frankensteiner on Roode in an attempt to make people think he’s more than a brawler. Beer Money is sent into the cage as we’re following the WarGames model to the letter. D-Von ties things up and fires off right hands, followed by a slow motion Thesz press to Magnus.

Things slow down again until Booker T. completes the heel team. Speaking of slow, Booker very calmly walks to the ring while holding both Tag Team Titles. The villains take over with Steiner and Booker sending Storm into the cage so hard that they knock the door open. Cue Brother Ray to give us a ridiculous eight people inside the ring at once. Well in theory at least as Big Rob Terry intercepts Ray on the way to the ring and sends him into the crowd. He adds a chair shot to the back for good measure before forcing the guy in charge of the cage to lower the roof, bringing the weapons into play.

Steiner and the Brits take over with the weapons but Terry misses a chair shot to Ray’s back. Ray hits a completely unnecessary chair shot to the head to put Terry down before taking said chair inside to clean house. Now the good guys take over until Magnus goes through a door in the top and climbs onto the roof.

Beer Money follows him up for a terrifying double suplex and SHOUT THEIR NAMES up top. The 3D plants Steiner back inside but Booker comes back with a trashcan. A Book End gets two on Ray but Beer Money comes back in with DWI (Drinking While Investing, a powerbomb/neckbreaker combo) for the pin on Williams.

Rating: C+. This was good based on being Lethal Lockdown, but there really wasn’t a need for this to be in the cage. As usual, the ring got way too crowded near the ending and the whole thing basically resets after the weapons come in. Nothing special here due to the cage not being needed.

Quick chat about wanting to beat the Brits for revenge instead of wanting the titles, so it’s time to go after the gold again.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Team 3D

From Slammiversary 2009 with Beer Money challenging in their title shot for winning that tournament from earlier. D-Von and Storm get things going with the champ taking over on the cowboy. A shoulder puts Storm down and a flying headbutt gets an early two. Roode gets in a cheap shot from the apron and takes over with a knee drop for two on D-Von. Ray comes in to stare at Roode as it feels like they’re going for the big match feeling here.

Off to Ray legally for a slugout with Roode, whose clothesline has no effect. A forearm finally puts Ray down so he rips the skin off Roode’s chest with some chops. Ray goes Canadian with a big release German suplex and the side slam/legdrop combo gets two on Roode. Somehow Roode just pops up though and goes after D-Von, only to have the Beer Money suplex blocked by Ray, allowing D-Von to clothesline both of them down.

Roode gets D-Von to chase him though and crotches him against the post to give Beer Money their first real advantage. They take turns with their choking until Roode hits the chinlock. D-Von finally fights up and backdrops Storm down, allowing for the lukewarm tag off to Ray. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Roode but Storm knocks Bubba away from Team 3D, leaving Roode to only take the flapjack. What’s Up nails Roode and it’s table time. Storm gets back up and tries to put D-Von through, only to have Ray make a save. That earns Bully a spinebuster from Roode for two and things settle down a bit.

Now the double suplex puts Ray down and they SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Cue the British Invasion who have been having issues with Team 3D lately to join in on commentary. D-Von finally comes in off the hot tag to clean house, including a clothesline for two on Roode. A chokeslam of all things gets two on Storm as everything breaks down again. James pops up for a high cross body to both champions and Roode escapes a Doomsday Device attempt.

Storm’s top rope hurricanrana sets up Roode’s splash for two more as the fans are way into this now. The challengers load up a double superplex but Ray makes a save and sets up the Doomsday Device for another near fall on Roode. 3D puts Roode down again but Rob Terry distracts the referee. Ray goes up top and dives on Terry and Magnus, causing a small earthquake in the processs. Now Williams tries to interfere but gets knocked through a table, only to cause Beer Money to nail DWI on D-Von for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. The best word for this one is overbooked. They really didn’t need to do all the stuff they did here for the ending. I get that you don’t want to have the champions lose the belts clean, but the Brits and the tables were more than they needed. At least Beer Money got the belts though, which they rightfully deserved.

Beer Money talks about how awesome that match was, but there was a better one at Lockdown 2009.

IWGP Tag Team Titles/TNA Tag Team Titles: Team 3D vs. Beer Money Inc.

From Lockdown 2009, meaning two months before Slammiversary and this is title for title. Team 3D brought in the IWGP Tag Team Titles and the fans were just supposed to care about them, even though the tag division was barely deeper than WWE’s. This is a Philadelphia street fight but the reason they’re fighting isn’t explained because Ray had to talk about how awesome the Japanese belts are. The match starts in a cage but the door won’t be locked and falls count anywhere.

It’s a brawl to start with Team 3D taking over early on. They quickly throw Beer Money out to the floor and it’s time for the ECW portion of the show. We go split screen but it only covers half the screen because we need a BIG FREAKING LOCKDOWN LOGO instead of more of the match. You can barely see what’s going on but Team 3D seems to be in full control. Storm comes back with some right hands to Ray as they fight into a luxury box.

That’s fine with Ray as he just hammers Storm down and shouts a lot. They fight near the concourse but come back into the arena with Storm falling down the stairs. Ray crotches Roode on a barricade and Storm easily gets knocked backwards. D-Von bites James’ head as they “fight” back towards the ring (read as they stagger about five feet off a single punch).

Back to ringside now with Ray having the cage door rammed into his face to give Beer Money their first control. They load up the steps in front of a table, setting up a double suplex to drive D-Von through the wood in a nice looking crash. A bloody Ray is brought inside where Roode hammers away at the cut like a true villain should. D-Von is still down on the floor so Ray has to clothesline both of them down before climbing up to the top rope for a super Bubba Bomb, knocking Roode senseless.

It’s Beer Money up first but D-Von breaks up DWI, allowing Ray to nail a big side slam for two on Roode. Storm takes a Doomsday Device for two and What’s Up Roode. It’s table time but D-Von takes the better part of forever to bring the thing in, allowing Beer Money to drop Ray with a double belly to back.

A Blockbuster/Samoan drop combo gets two on Ray but he avoids a splash from Roode and a Swanton from Storm. That’s fine with Bobby who comes back with a spinebuster and neckbreaker as Storm has fallen to the floor with a bad knee. He’s good enough to slam a door, only to hit his partner by mistake though knocking him into the 3D for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was your standard ECW style brawl, but at least this was a different kind of match than what we had been seeing for most of the night. It used to drive me crazy when I had to see six or seven matches that were so similar in the original ECW, so mixing things up like this helped.

The team talks about what it means to stay together instead of go their separate ways.

IWGP Tag Team Titles/TNA Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

This is a TLC match with two sets of titles above the ring. These teams have been feuding forever and this is the final showdown. The British Invasion (Douglas Williams and Brutus Magnus) and the Main Event Mafia (Booker T. and Scott Steiner) hold the IWGP and TNA titles respectfully coming in.

It’s a huge brawl to start with Team 3D getting beaten down in the corners. We head outside with Steiner using a ladder on D-Von. The Brits are smart enough to go in to try and climb but stop for a handshake, allowing Beer Money to make the save. The fight is getting too busy to keep track of as Beer Money destroys Williams in the ring and Steiner fights with I believe Magnus by the stage. Booker comes in to clean house but Roode stops his climb attempt.

Booker ax kicks Roode and Steiner is choking D-Von with a cable. The fans go nuts for the Spinarooni but Booker takes too long climbing, allowing Beer Money to take him down with a Last Call and DWI (powerbomb/neckbreaker combination). Steiner gets back in and destroys everyone in sight, even busting out Frankensteiners and superplexes for the Brits. Booker’s wife Sharmell comes out to check on Booker’s knee as Scott suplexes everyone he can find.

Scott goes up and we realize that the ladder needs to be about four feet higher. The Brits drop Steiner with a double neckbreaker and Booker is taken out on a stretcher. What’s Up nails Steiner and it’s Table Time. Team 3D destroys the Brits for stealing their table gimmick and Beer Money takes a beating of their own. Ray hands Zack Wylde (remember him?) a chair to blast Storm before D-Von puts Williams through a table in the ring. The real What’s Up makes Magnus writhe in pain and we get a lot more tables brought in.

Beer Money gets chokeslammed through tables but Steiner comes in with a chair to drop Team 3D. He brings in a ladder but is still too short to bring it down, allowing Team 3D to slam him through a table. The belts seem to be lowered a bit when it’s clear that this match is never going to end.

Both members of Team 3D climb up at the same time but Rhino of all people comes in to destroy them with chairs. D-Von pulls the IWGP Title down anyway to win the titles for he and Ray but takes a beating from the chair. The Brits come in and lay out Rhino and Team 3D even more before climbing up to to go after the other belts. Beer Money makes another save by shoving one ladder over and superplexing Magnus off the other.

They take too long getting up though and Magnus nails them both with a chair. Storm comes back with beer to Magnus’ face and a huge sunset bomb off the ladder. Williams hits James with a chair but Roode knocks him off. The third British Invasion member Rob Terry pulls Roode down and slams him through a table before lifting Williams up the ladder for the TNA Tag Team Titles. That’s the same way TLC II ended at Wrestlemania X7.

Rating: B+. This was a solid brawl, even though Scott Steiner was down WAY too long towards the end of the match. They did a good job of keeping all of the teams involved for the most part, which is the hardest thing to do in a match like this. Booker being taken out of the match was the way to write him off TV as he and Sharmell were leaving TNA.

One last talk about the future of the team wraps things up.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s not bad for the most part but this really needed to be done like two years later. This was all from the same year and got repetitive after awhile, with eight matches and five of them had Team 3D involved. The set was released before the great matches with the Motor City Machine Guns. This was very similar to the Kurt Angle DVD where they just needed to wait another year or so to have a far better match selection. It’s good, but the best for the team was yet to come.

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Today we’re looking at a freak: Rob Terry.

Terry started in 2007 in FCW under the name Big Rob. WWE wasn’t that impressed though and released Terry in 2008. TNA signed him up and put him together with Douglas Williams and Magnus as the British Invasion. Here he is at Hard Justice 2009.

Rob Terry vs. Hernandez

Terry stole Hernandez’s briefcase and Supermex wants it back. Hernandez says the Impact Zone is his house and it’s like Terry stole the case from his family. This is going to be a fight, not a match. The other Brits try to interfere, Hernandez runs them off, bell, shoulderblock, pin. Literally, 9 seconds of the actual match.

Uh….let’s try something else. From Final Resolution 2009.

Feast or Fired

Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Cody Deaner, Robert Roode, James Storm, Eric Young, Homicide, Kiyoshi, Sheik Abdul Bashir, Rob Terry, Kevin Nash, Samoa Joe

Everyone from Young to Nash is in World Elite, making up half of the lineup here. Simple concept: four cases, one has a world title shot, one has an X Title shot, one has a tag title shot, one has a pink slip. You pull down a case, that’s what you get. Like I said, simple concept. This is of course almost impossible to call as everyone is doing random stuff and it’s a big fight so far.

Lethal goes up early, only to be stopped by Kiyoshi. The idea here is that World Elite doesn’t want Beer Money or Lethal Consequences to get a case so that the Brits don’t have to fight them. Smart actually. Joe hammers on Young as we hear about how experienced Homicide is in these. Deaner almost gets up but can’t quite get there. Apparently all of World Elite is banned from going up. Stupid but whatever.

Deaner goes up again but gets pulled down. This is a total mess with two people in the ring and the other nine being outside. Bashir goes up for the third time but Deaner stops him. They have been the only two in the ring forever now. Sheik rakes the eyes but he falls off and it’s Lethal Consequences beating on various people.

Lethal plays defense while Creed goes up but he gets knocked off by Bashir. Deaner challenges him for it and it falls off. They fight for it on the floor and Bashir kicks him in the knee and clocks him with it to get case #2. In the ring Rob Terry gets #4. Young gets all ticked off at him as does the rest of the World Elite team. Beer Money is like screw this and jumps them.

Beer Money double teams Nash and then Young. I can understand them not going up there as Nash was on his feet so that makes sense. BEER MONEY runs into Kiyoshi who doesn’t last long. All Beer Money here as they beat the tar out of everyone. Roode goes up but it’s Nash with the save. He goes up and easily gets case #1. The people that get cases leave by the way.

Joe gets in the ring for the first time as the fans are clearly behind him. He beats on Lethal Consequences because he can but he doesn’t have as much luck with Beer Money. Finishers all around now with Homicide hitting a top rope cutter to take down Roode. Deaner is up now but Joe is like boy what the heck do you think you’re doing and kicks him to the floor and grabs #3 to end this.

Rating: D. No idea what to really think about these matches but this wasn’t very interesting. It’s like a battle royal but it was messed up beyond belief. Deaner being in there way too much always hurts things. Nothing any good here but then again these matches never were worth anything. Boring but it sets up future storylines so I guess it has that going for it.

Terry’s X-Division Title case didn’t go anywhere so we’ll jump ahead to Destination X 2010. Terry has won the Global (eventual TV) Title in his home country of Wales.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry

Terry is getting the Goldberg push which is fine I guess. It keeps his matches short if nothing else. It never ceases to amaze me that people talk about what an alternative to WWE TNA is supposed to be and here we have a not incredibly talented musclehead guy getting a mega push. A spinebuster ends this in like a minute and a half.

Rating: N/A. The Goldberg push continues, which I can’t say I have many problems with. This was a total non-threat so that’s all fine and good.

Global Title: Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan

We’re told that Terry has never turned down a title defense. What has he had? Two of them? They call this a battle of the freaks. Ok then. Jordan is lowered from the ceiling into the ring. Taz says it’s better than walking to the ring with a black towel on your head. Ok that was a funny line. Terry is called the Global Champion of the World. So don’t pay attention to that Venezuelan Global Champion.

He’s got JACK on Terry. Terry has come a long way in the last few months. Who would believe him having passable matches (given who he is) a few months ago? They list off the people he’s defended against. Wow they sound pitiful. This has been all Terry here. Jordan goes for the knee which makes a bit of sense I suppose. Jordan can’t even drop a knee properly. That’s hard to do. It truly is.

Oh and the flamboyant and bizarre guy is wearing gold. Nothing stolen there at all. The fans thing Terry Wants It apparently. WOW I want to smack those people. And there’s the spinebuster (Not calling it the Freakbuster or whatever Tenay called it) for the pin. That came out of nowhere. I SAID IT FIRST TAZ! SHUT UP!

Rating: D. Why in the world do these two get a decent amount of time on PPV? Again, Jordan is shock value for the sake of shock value. I defy anyone to say he’s valuable to the company or worth any kind of money he gets. What has he ever won? When your most memorable moments are getting beaten by Benoit in 30 seconds and whatever weird stuff he did in TNA, it’s a bad sign for your career.

Terry would join Immortal in late 2010 and be in a six man tag at Against All Odds 2011.

Gunner/Murphy/Rob Terry vs. Beer Money/Scott Steiner

This should be good. We have Rob Terry vs. Scott Steiner. That alone should sell the PPV. Steiner’s muscles are scary. Flair is going to be on Impact Thursday. The fans chant Scotty. He and Gunner start us off. I can’t remember which is Gunner and which is Murphy so having Tazz tell us helps. Murphy tries a leapfrog but gets caught in a belly to belly.

And now it’s Freak vs. Freak. This should be awesome in various ways. Steiner says pose, Beer Money distracts, Steiner hits a low blow which shouldn’t hurt due to the size of Terry’s testicles. There are the pushups. Off to Gunner vs. Storm now with the weather related guy doing better in this encounter. He skins the cat and hits some clotheslines followed by a backdrop.

All Fourtune/Steroid dealer job insurance at the moment. Terry interferes and here comes Goon #1. We get an inset shot of AJ because I guess the wrestling isn’t important enough to look at? Terry throws Storm around for a bit and a slam gets two. Backstabber out of nowhere and it’s off to no one as Terry blocks the tag. And so much for that as it’s off to Roode.

Roode misses a jumping forearm or there was miscommunication or something. Gunner and Roode are the only ones off the floor. Neckbreaker gets two for Roode. Spinning Rock Bottom gets two as Murphy saves. Beer Money both in now and they clean house. We get the signature taunt and Terry thankfully takes out Storm who didn’t look at his opponents for about 40 seconds. Roode hits spinebusters all around and it’s off to Steiner. With Gunner on the top, Steiner busts out the Frankensteiner to end this.

Rating: C. This was your typical six man match. Steiner was the star of it which is fine I guess as none of the heels mean anything and Beer Money is already well established. Either way this was ok but really nothing special as we’ve seen it all a bunch of times before. That’s the problem so far: nothing is unique or even special. Granted we’re 35 minutes into the show so there’s more than enough time.

Here’s a TV Title match from Impact on March 17, 2011.

TV Title: Rob Terry vs. Gunner vs. Murphy

Gunner has the tattoos. Got it. The tag team jumps Terry but then splits up soon. Hogan’s wife and Brooke (looks JUST like Linda) are here. We split the screen for a bit to show that the cops are here for Angle. People keep trying to steal wins which gets them nowhere. Murphy and Terry slug it out with Terry winning. Gunner pops up to spear him and then hits a modified F5 to win the title at 1:47. The match didn’t even make it to two minutes. Wow indeed. Bischoff comes out to applaud.

Terry would spend a lot of time in TNA’s developmental system, Ohio Valley Wrestling. Here he is on OVW TV, January 28, 2012.

Jason Wayne vs. Rob Terry

Wayne is a guy that I’ve always liked. He’s a big, muscular military character who wrestled a decent power style. Terry’s manager Christopher Mascagnai is guest referee due to being the OVW boss. We even get a weapons check with Wayne getting a very detailed search. The distraction lets Terry get in a cheap shot from behind as we start through Terry’s assortment of forearms.

Terry walks around for awhile and puts on a chinlock. Jason fights up but walks into a swinging neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Jason eating a clothesline and drawing a cheer from Mascagnai. A rollup from Wayne gets no count so Terry hammers away even more. Rob slams him down for a lightning fast two before we go back to the chinlock. Back up and Wayne scores with an enziguri but Mascagnai stops some right hands. Terry comes in with a quick spinebuster for another fast counted pin.

Rating: D. This was almost all storyline instead of action but it was clear that neither guy was the best choice to carry a match. It’s rarely a good idea to have the same styles against one another and that’s all you had here. Wayne needed a lot more ring time but he had the look and mannerisms down.

Back to TNA at Sacrifice 2012 with Terry as Robbie E.’s muscle.

TV Title: D–Von vs. Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Officially it‘s a triple threat. D–Von punches T to the floor and then punches E down. A Rock Bottom gets two on E but T pulls the champion to the floor. E gets back up and tells T to stand down because he‘s got this. Powerslam gets two for E. D–Von comes back and knocks E to the floor but T catches him with a shot to the back. Powerslam gets two as E makes the save. Extra and Terrestrial get in a shoving match, allowing D–Von to roll up T to retain at 5:40.

Rating: D+. This feud MUST be over now right? It‘s been going on for like four months now and for the life of me I don‘t get why it‘s continued this long. Are there really no other people that can get in on the TV Title hunt? Nothing to see here but hopefully it ends this feud once and for all.

Same idea at Slammiversary 2012.

Garrett Bischoff/D-Von vs. Robbie E/Robbie T

The TV Title feud continues. E and Garrett get us going and Bischoff slams him down with relative ease. Off to the current OVW Champion as we get dueling WE WANT D-VON/YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants. Right hands have no effect on T so Garrett tries some clotheslines, only to get pulled down to the floor by E. Madison is out watching again, looking GREAT in a red dress.

The fans still want D-Von but it’s Garrett getting worked over in the corner. The Rob’s hit a double team side slam/elbow drop combo and it’s chinlock time. Garrett comes back with a flapjack and D-Von finally gets in. House is cleaned and a Rock Bottom puts E down. A shoulder block gets a cover but T makes the save. Garrett low bridges T and hits a dive, as D-Von spinebusters E for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D+. Nothing but a basic formula tag match here that needed to be on Impact rather than the PPV. The fans flat out do not care about Garrett but I guess this is better than him being in the main events of PPVs. Now, can we PLEASE find D-Von someone to feud with not named Garrett or Rob? It can’t be that hard.

Here’s the required showdown at Lockdown 2013.

Robbie E vs. Robbie T

Robbie E wants a timeout to start and there’s a hug attempt. Robbie T doesn’t seem interested and shoves E down with ease. E does some stretches in the corner before trying a headlock. That goes very badly for E and a one handed top wristlock puts E down. A single leg takedown doesn’t work at all so T launches him up into the air. T grabs him by the throat but E slaps his way out of it. E grabs a fast armbar before hooking a sleeper. T finally breaks the hold and catches E’s cross body with ease. A fireman’s carry into a spinebuster ends E at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was supposed to be but it doesn’t make for a good match. T has never been great but instead of being a comedy guy, he should be allowed to be a monster as he always should have been. Also thankfully this time there’s no Orlando Jordan for a stupid feud to derail any momentum he gets going.

Off to Impact on April 25, 2013.

Rob Terry vs. Jesse Godderz

Terry runs over Jesse to start as I guess the battle of the Rob’s is just continuing. Robbie E tries to distract Terry but Rob throws Jesse around by the throat. A second try at the distraction works a bit better and Jesse gets in some shots to the back and a dropkick. Jesse goes up but jumps into a powerslam for two as Robbie grabs the referee’s feet. Jesse tries to jump Terry again but gets launched into Robbie instead. Back in and the big spinebuster gets the pin on Jesse at 2:55.

Back to OVW for the Saturday Night Special (their big monthly show) in December 2013.

Rob Terry vs. Dylan Bostic

Before the match, Bostic has to take pictures of his good looking valet. Terry grabs Bostic by the head and takes pictures of him in a headlock. A big clothesline puts Dylan on the floor for a meeting with his lackeys. The guy lackey’s distraction lets Dylan get in a knee off the apron to take over. Terry slams him down back inside and easily breaks a sleeper. Time for more pictures, but the distraction lets Bostic hit Terry low for the pin.

Rating: D+. The girl in the swimsuit looked good but this felt like a TV match instead of a match at a special. If there was a reason for these two to be fighting, the announcers didn’t feel the need to explain it to us. Bostic is still around and still pretty lame, but he showed some potential here.

Terry would be at One Night Only: Global Impact Japan.

Keiji Mutoh/Rob Terry/Taiyo Kea vs. Masayuki Kono/Rene Dupree/Samoa Joe

Joe’s team gets the jobber treatment and Mutoh might retire if he loses. Joe and Kea get things going with Joe hammering away in the corner, only to have Kea no sell most of the shots. A big boot has little effect on Joe and an elbow to Kea’s jaw has the same result. Off to Terry vs. Dupree for a posedown before Renee dropkicks Terry’s knee out. Kono comes in to try a double suplex but Terry suplexes both of them at the same time.

Mutoh gets the tag for the power drive elbow before putting Kono in an STF. Back to Kea for chops followed by Terry for some cranking on the arm. Mutoh puts on a sleeper but Dupree gets in a cheap shot. Joe glares at his partner for the cheap shot and does the same thing to Kono, even going so far as to save Mutoh. Apparently he’s fine with backsplashing Mutoh for two and putting on the Koquina Clutch but everything breaks down.

Things settle down and Mutoh mostly misses a dropkick to Joe and the tag brings in Kea. A Russian legsweep gets two on Joe but he comes back with a powerslam. Off to Kono who gets caught in something resmbling a running DDT. Terry gets the tag and gets the crowd to clap a lot before hitting a slow motion Jackhammer. Kea rolls away and tags in Dupree who is quickly backdropped down.

Muta comes in and takes out everyone with dragon screw legwhips before putting Renee in a Figure Four. Kono makes a save so Muta hits Dupree with a Shining Wizard but everything breaks down. Members of the Desperadoes stable comes in to attack Mutoh but Joe won’t help them. He takes a chair from Dupree and headbutts him before walking out, allowing Mutoh to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin on Dupree.

Rating: D+. Well you knew Mutoh wasn’t jobbing here. This match was a big mess though with Joe wanting to do the right thing or whatever it was while all of the people interfered (and Tenay just expected us to know who they were because EVERYONE follows a year old Japanese promotion). This felt like “let’s all love Mutoh” and while he deserves respect, I don’t care for matches that turn into stuff like this. It wasn’t terrible or anything and the story made good sense, but it was messy.

We’ll wrap it up with Terry under his new persona of the Freak as part of the Menagerie stable. From Impact on July 3, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Menagerie vs. Wolves vs. BroMans

The Wolves are defending and the Menagerie is the Freak and Knux. It’s a brawl to start with the Menagerie cleaning house. They LAUNCH DJZ over the top onto everyone else at ringside. Back in and the Freak suplexes both Wolves at the same time but Jesse tags himself in to work on Eddie. Jesse works on the arm before bringing in DJZ for a Hart Attack. DJZ is no Robbie though as it only gets two, allowing Eddie to hurricanrana both of them down at the same time. A hot tag brings in Davey who sends the Menagerie into each other. Davey throws Jesse into the kick from Eddie for the pin to retain at 4:18.

Rating: C. Nice and fun match here with all three teams looking decent. The Freak as the mindless muscle is the right idea for him as his singles pushes haven’t worked at all. The Wolves need opponents so putting them against two teams at once isn’t the best idea in the world. Still though, not bad.

Rob Terry is the epitome of a one note wrestler, but then you hear of him doing stuff like going 64 minutes in the OVW Nightmare (Royal) Rumble. You wouldn’t expect a guy built like that to be able to do so but I’ve seen him pull it off. Give him a Goldberg style push (obviously not to the same level) and let him use his abilities as well as he can.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Bound For Glory 2009
Date: October 18, 2009
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Attendance: 2,400
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

This is a lot of people, myself included, really liked as AJ Styles was back to being serious again and had won the World Title in a five way match the previous month. Tonight he’s defending against Sting because WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT STING IN THE MAIN EVENT??? Other than that we have a four way Full Metal Mayhem (TLC) match for two sets of Tag Team Titles because TNA felt the need to bring in Japanese Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows most of participants of the main events, set to a hip hop song because almost every video is anymore.

We get quick soundbytes hyping up the bigger matches. AJ wants to fight Sting to prove that he’s the best. Sting has been hinting that it’s going to be his last match.

Zack Wylde of Black Label Society plays a rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. This goes about as well as you would expect it to.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.

It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.

Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.

The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.

Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).

Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.

The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.

Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.

The Beautiful People (now without Angelina but with Madison Rayne and Lacey Von Erich) insult Lauren by calling her JB. They’re coming for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles because the belts were started for the Beautiful People. Madison talks about the lineup of the team switching but says now they’re going to accessorize with the Tag Team Titles.

The Knockouts Tag Team Champions Taylor Wilde and Sarita (a newcomer from Mexico) say they’ll take on all comers. Sarita speaks some Spanish and Wilde is confused.

We run down the card for a bit to fill in time.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Sarita/Taylor Wilde vs. Beautiful People

Madison and Velvet are challenging. Lacey kisses the referee before the match, convincing him to change places with Earl Hebner, who may or may not be sleeping with Madison. Earl comes out and ejects Lacey for her efforts and Taylor rolls Velvet up for two. Everything quickly breaks down and the champions clean house on Sky until the challengers finally double team Sarita to take over.

They lift Sarita into the air and let her crash down for two but she comes back with a kick to the face. Hot tag brings in Taylor who destroys the People, setting up dropkick from Sarita to send Madison into a German suplex for the pin. Too short to rate but the girls looking good is about the only positive here.

We recap the Legends Title match. The Legends Title was introduced about two weeks after last year’s Bound For Glory and became the midcard title TNA had needed for years. The story here is Eric Young wants Hernandez to join World Elite, which is feuding with the Main Event Mafia. Mafia leader Kurt Angle put a hit on Eric Young for $30,000, so Young went to Mafia member and Legends Champion Kevin Nash and offered him $60,000 to take out Hernandez, who Young was scheduled to face here. I had to watch the video twice to have this make sense.

Young and Nash are in the back where Eric goes off about Hernandez and Nash doesn’t seem to care as long as he gets paid.

Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez

Hernandez runs them over to start and sends Young flying out to the floor. All three go to the ramp and slug it out with Hernandez getting double teamed to slow him down. SuperMex will have none of that and nails Nash before hits a backbreaker on Young. Nash finally gets back up and drives knees in to Hernandez’s ribs. Eric is willing to come in and get a few shots of his own as this is turning into a handicap match.

Hernandez fights back again but Nash breaks up a suplex on Young. The fans are all over Young as he helps Nash with the boot choke in the corner. A back elbow stops another Hernandez comeback and Young tries to steal the pin, which doesn’t seem to be in the plan. Things calm down and Nash hammers on Hernandez in the corner. Hernandez somehow pulls himself to the top and hits a missile dropkick to put Nash down. SuperMex tries to clean house but Nash knocks him face first into the middle buckle.

Another double team is broken up and Nash is down, leaving Young to get caught in midair for a sitout powerbomb and two. Back up and Nash misses a clothesline, allowing Hernandez to dive over the top to take Young down. Eric comes back in and drops a top rope elbow on Hernandez before lowering Nash’s straps for him. Young picks up Hernandez and throws him head first into Nash’s crotch, allowing Eric to dive in and get the pin for the title. Nash’s shoulder was about a foot off the mat.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would with a good formula and a nice swerve at the end. They had to get the title on Young somehow due to how much heat he had and that was as good a way as any other. Nice little match here and Nash going after the money is perfect for him.

The Main Event Mafia, Beer Money Inc. and the British Invasion are brawling in the back. Douglas Williams calms things down and says they should be focusing on Team 3D. Wrestlemania X7 is referenced as the Full Metal Mayhem match is TNA’s TLC match.

IWGP Tag Team Titles/TNA Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

This is a TLC match with two sets of titles above the ring. These teams have been feuding forever and this is the final showdown. The British Invasion (Douglas Williams and Brutus Magnus) and the Main Event Mafia (Booker T. and Scott Steiner) hold the IWGP and TNA titles respectfully coming in.

It’s a huge brawl to start with Team 3D getting beaten down in the corners. We head outside with Steiner using a ladder on D-Von. The Brits are smart enough to go in to try and climb but stop for a handshake, allowing Beer Money to make the save. The fight is getting too busy to keep track of as Beer Money destroys Williams in the ring and Steiner fights with I believe Magnus by the stage. Booker comes in to clean house but Roode stops his climb attempt.

Booker ax kicks Roode and Steiner is choking D-Von with a cable. The fans go nuts for the Spinarooni but Booker takes too long climbing, allowing Beer Money to take him down with a Last Call and DWI (powerbomb/neckbreaker combination). Steiner gets back in and destroys everyone in sight, even busting out Frankensteiners and superplexes for the Brits. Booker’s wife Sharmell comes out to check on Booker’s knee as Scott suplexes everyone he can find.

Scott goes up and we realize that the ladder needs to be about four feet higher. The Brits drop Steiner with a double neckbreaker and Booker is taken out on a stretcher. What’s Up nails Steiner and it’s Table Time. Team 3D destroys the Brits for stealing their table gimmick and Beer Money takes a beating of their own. Ray hands Zack Wylde (remember him?) a chair to blast Storm before D-Von puts Williams through a table in the ring. The real What’s Up makes Magnus writhe in pain and we get a lot more tables brought in.

Beer Money gets chokeslammed through tables but Steiner comes in with a chair to drop Team 3D. He brings in a ladder but is still too short to bring it down, allowing Team 3D to slam him through a table. The belts seem to be lowered a bit when it’s clear that this match is never going to end.

Both members of Team 3D climb up at the same time but Rhino of all people comes in to destroy them with chairs. D-Von pulls the IWGP Title down anyway to win the titles for he and Ray but takes a beating from the chair. The Brits come in and lay out Rhino and Team 3D even more before climbing up to to go after the other belts. Beer Money makes another save by shoving one ladder over and superplexing Magnus off the other.

They take too long getting up though and Magnus nails them both with a chair. Storm comes back with beer to Magnus’ face and a huge sunset bomb off the ladder. Williams hits James with a chair but Roode knocks him off. The third British Invasion member Rob Terry pulls Roode down and slams him through a table before lifting Williams up the ladder for the TNA Tag Team Titles. That’s the same way TLC II ended at Wrestlemania X7.

Rating: B+. This was a solid brawl, even though Scott Steiner was down WAY too long towards the end of the match. They did a good job of keeping all of the teams involved for the most part, which is the hardest thing to do in a match like this. Booker being taken out of the match was the way to write him off TV as he and Sharmell were leaving TNA.

We recap the three way for the Knockouts Title. Tara (formerly Victoria in WWE) debuted and wants the title, ODB is champion and Awesome Kong is Awesome Kong.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. ODB vs. Tara

ODB is defending. Tara has her spider Poison with her which never worked for me. Kong grabs the belt to start and runs ODB down, only to have Tara slug away at the giant. Tara and ODB’s double team goes badly but the both avoid a middle rope splash. They nip up at the same time and shoulder Kong back down. A double suplex puts her down a third time but the normal sized girls get in an argument over who should cover.

ODB takes Tara down with the fall away slam and chops in the corner but Tara comes back with the Tarantula. Kong gets back up for the save until Tara moonsault presses both of them down. It doesn’t seem to bother Kong who runs Tara over and chokes the champion in the corner.

Tara seems to get in a fight with some fan and leaves (more on this later), allowing ODB to hit a Samoan drop on Kong for two. Kong slams her back down as Tara is back to save ODB from a middle rope splash. There’s the Implant Buster to ODB for two and Kong is SHOCKED. She brings in a chair but splashes it instead of ODB, who retains the title with ease.

Rating: D+. The match was dull for the most part, but the Tara thing is interesting in how stupid it was. The fan was the wife of former UFC Champion Randy Couture, who Tara wanted to work a match against. Why this is supposed to be interesting isn’t clear and it never lead to anything. Also pay no attention to the fact that this wasn’t mentioned on TV, at least not here.

Matt Morgan says his match with Angle is business and personal.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

This is a submission match for what should be obvious reasons and Joe is Mafia. Lashley has bad ribs coming in but is still able to power Joe into the corner. Some slaps to the face tick Lashley off so he spinebusters Joe down and tries an armbar. Joe tries a kick to the ribs but opts for a leg bar instead. That goes nowhere as Lashley rolls out and takes Joe down again before pounding away in the corner.

Lashley gets sent outside for a breather, drawing a LOUD Lashley Sucks chant. Joe starts going after the ribs and the referee goes down, allowing Joe to hit Lashley in the ribs again. Back to the floor and Joe nails the suicide dive before driving Lashley into the barricade. They get back inside and Lashley gets caught in an abdominal stretch with an elbow in the ribs. He powers out with a hiptoss and is quickly booed out of the building.

A powerslam puts Lashley down but Joe goes for an armbreaker for some reason. Lashley blocks the hold so Joe hammers away in the corner. A full nelson slam drops Joe and the fans just rip into Lashley and cheer Joe louder. Joe just destroys him with spinning Rock Bottoms but Lashley sweeps the leg and puts on a side choke for the quick win.

Rating: D-. WOW this was bad for Lashley. He barely did anything and the fans just let him have it. He might be the guy who looked the best on paper and then never played out in the slightest. His 2014 run has been FAR better when they made him a killer, but the face runs were disasters. Joe was just so unmotivated at this point and I can’t say I blame him. He feuded with the Mafia for months then joined them because Samoa Joe has to be in heel stables for some reason. One other thing of note: this was the first non-title match as well as the first one on one match of the night.

Oh and one more thing: STOP TRYING TO TURN WRESTLING INTO MMA! IT’S CALLED WRESTLING FOR A REASON!

Mick Foley says if Abyss wants to be the biggest hardcore star ever, he has to earn it. He wanted Abyss to be his protege but now wants to hurt him to prove a point. Foley is evil here if that’s not clear.

Abyss vs. Mick Foley

Dr. Stevie (Richards) is guest referee and if Abyss uses tacks he’s disqualified, even though this is Monster’s Ball. Foley jumps Abyss from behind with a barbed wire bat and drags the monster to the stage. He climbs the tower on the set and this can’t end well. Abyss follows him up but gets knocked off and goes through the stage. Foley drops his running elbow with the barbed wire bat into the hole and both guys are down.

Stevie congratulates Foley as they walk to the ring. Abyss climbs through a new hole in the ramp and runs Foley over before heading to ringside to get some weapons. The monster bridges a barbed wire board between the ring and barricade before just smashing Foley with a trashcan. Another barbed wire board is brought in but Foley grabs a double arm DDT to plant Abyss on top of it. The barbed wire bat is raked across Abyss’ head as the violence really gets going.

Foley goes after the arm with the barbed wire and we see a lot of blood on Abyss’ forehead. He’s still able to send Foley into the third barbed wire board in the corner but misses a charge, catching himself in the board. Foley shoves him onto the board on the mat and drops an elbow to crush him between the boards for two.

Now Mick busts out the tacks but gets grabbed by the throat. Stevie won’t let Abyss chokeslam Mick onto them, so Abyss Shock Treatments the referee. Creepy chick Daffney comes out and slides Foley a taser of all things, which explodes as he shocks Abyss. This brings out a regular referee to count three….but he starts a four count because Abyss doesn’t kick out in time.

An attempt at a barbed wire Socko results in Foley being sent into the board, but Stevie gets up and nails the replacement referee. Daffney goes up top but gets chokeslammed through the barbed wire board at ringside (off camera of course). A Black Hole Slam puts Stevie into the tacks and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire is enough for the pin, with Abyss grabbing Stevie’s hand to make him count the three.

Rating: D+. This is what happens when TNA just tries too hard and it stops working. The tacks thing was stupid but at least Abyss got the win and gets put over as a result. The problem here is this was basically all barbed wire, which is a good visual if you use it once or twice, but then it’s just numbing. Also the fall through the stage was way out of place with the rest of the match.

Angle says he had AJ beat and the time ran out. This has nothing to do with his match tonight.

We recap Angle vs. Morgan. Angle had been stringing Morgan along and promising him a place in the Mafia but then screwing him over. Morgan became a killer and cost Angle the title at No Surrender, setting up this showdown.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan

Kurt has his borderline homeless man beard going here. Angle runs to the floor to start and cuts off the fans’ dueling chants in the process. They do the same sequence again before Morgan just grabs Kurt by the head and throws him over the top. Back in and Morgan busts out the rapid fire elbows in the corner before hitting a kind of reverse chokeslam to send him face first into the buckle. Kurt goes to the eyes and sends Matt outside, only to get caught diving off the apron. Morgan sends him back first into the post and stands very tall.

Back in and Matt hits a high cross body for two, only to have the Carbon Footprint hit the buckle. Angle chop blocks the big man down and gets his first advantage. There’s a Figure Four and Morgan is suddenly in big trouble. Morgan finally turns it over, sending Angle to the ropes for the break. Some clotheslines have Angle in trouble and a side slam gets two as Matt’s knee seems fine.

Kurt goes back for it to stagger the big man but Morgan counters a cross body with a fall away slam. Chokeslam gets two but Angle counters the Hellevator into the rolling Germans. That must be punishment for not selling the knee. The Angle Slam is countered and a big boot (dude come on) gets two. A second attempt at the Slam gets two and the ankle lock goes on. Morgan kicks him away and avoids a charge into the corner, setting up the Hellevator for two.

We get the required tombstone attempt from a big man but Kurt counters into the ankle lock. Matt kicks away and nails a clothesline for two but the fans think he sucks. Morgan goes up top so Angle can run the buckles for the superplex. A frog splash gets two for Kurt and he goes back up, only to get caught on Morgan’s shoulders. Possibly playing off the knee from earlier, Angle grabs a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s an entertaining match as they tried the main event style, but it has a few problems. To begin with, Morgan wouldn’t sell the knee for more than about five seconds, so the point of the match kind of died halfway through. This brings us to the big problem: Angle did not need to win this match. He’s by far the bigger star and has been established for years while Morgan hasn’t proven he can win the big one yet. Here’s what makes it even worse though.

On Impact, Angle basically disbanded the Mafia because Morgan proved that Angle was wrong about the younger generation. The story is EXACTLY the same if Morgan wins and in some ways is even better. On top of that you get a new star (because TNA just had SO many of them running around) who had potential, but instead it’s Angle because this company is all about paying homage to old names.

We don’t get much of a recap for the main event. AJ was about to leave wrestling due to all of his failures, but Sting gave him a great pep talk and AJ won the World Title at No Surrender. Styles wanted to give Sting a title shot and Sting has implied it might be his last match. The problem here, again, is that the main event is all about Sting instead of making a new star.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. AJ Styles

Both guys are good here. Style takes over with a quick hiptoss but Sting comes back with one of his own. Another hiptoss sends Styles to the apron but he springboards back in for no contact. A shoulder puts Styles down but he avoids the Sharpshooter and we get a standoff. AJ scores with a slam and drops a knee for two before Sting whips him upside down into the corner.

Back up and a clothesline puts AJ on the floor. This is still in the grounded stage as neither is wanting to do anything big. Sting lets AJ get back in clean and they reset. An enziguri drops Sting and a nice suplex gets two. Sting comes back with bulldogs and a big backdrop but doesn’t follow up. AJ gets back up so Sting bails to the floor, only to sidestep a diving AJ, sending him into the barricade.

Sting misses a Stinger Splash against the same barricade though and both guys are down. Back in and Sting misses another splash but stops a charging AJ with a boot in the corner. They exchange tombstone attempts until AJ gets planted for two. Back up and the champ’s springboard forearm gets the same before he loads up the moonsault into the reverse DDT. Sting counters into the Death Drop but can’t cover (ignore his leg being on top of AJ).

A Stinger Splash and another Death Drop gets two so it’s Scorpion time. AJ screams a lot and grabs the ropes but Sting Hulks Up. He puts AJ on the top but gets knocked down with a headbutt. AJ falls off the top but manages to Pele Sting from the apron. The springboard splash is enough to retain AJ’s title.

Rating: C+. The match was decent enough but there was almost no emotion here. They were trying to make this feel like a big deal for Sting, because if there’s one thing we’ve learned so far, it’s that BOUND FOR GLORY IS ALL ABOUT HIM. There were some nice sequences in here but it felt like the buildup for something bigger which never came.

AJ calls Sting back to the ring and Sting tells him it’s his (AJ’s) time. Sting says if he just lost his last match, he’s glad it was to someone like AJ. The fans say please don’t go but Sting says he isn’t sure what he’s doing (“and that’s not kayfabe.”) but the fans have made him want to stick around forever. His music hits and we’re quickly done.

Overall Rating: B-. Most of the show is good but nothing on here feels special. The main event is really lacking and felt far more about Sting than Styles, which defeats the purpose of giving someone a rub. It’s a show that is entertaining enough if you watch it but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. Once Sting got out of the way for a bit, AJ was able to take off as champion and just own every main event he was in for a few months.

Ratings Comparison

Amazing Red vs. Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley

Original: B

Redo: C+

Beautiful People vs. Taylor Wilde/Sarita

Original: D+

Redo: N/A

Eric Young vs. Kevin Nash vs. Hernandez

Original: D-

Redo: C+

Main Event Mafia vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Beer Money Inc.

Original: B

Redo: B+

Awesome Kong vs. Tara vs. ODB

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

Original: D

Redo: D-

Mick Foley vs. Abyss

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Sting vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B-

It’s about the same for the most part but the Legends Title match was WAY better than on another viewing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/10/16/bound-for-glory-count-up-2009/

Today is a man that is as intense as he claims to be: Gunner.

Gunner got his start in the early 2000s as Phil Shatter. Here’s a match from just before he started for TNA on February 27, 2009.

Big Daddy Z vs. Phil Shatter

Z is a very large man that takes Shatter into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. The fat man poses and chokes on the ropes a bit as he looks like he can barely breathe. A pair of big running clotheslines drop Phil for two. Shatter comes back with some right hands but gets dropped by a splash in the corner. Z misses a “charge” and gets dropped by a series of clotheslines for two. Some guys try to come in to attack Shatter and the match is thrown out after he fights them off for a bit.

Rating: D-. I feel sorry for Shatter here as he needs something a lot better to work with than this big fat tub of goo. The guy was reaching Big Sal E. Graziano levels of fat and there’s no real way to work with something like that. The match was your typical big man vs. normal guy match when the big man can’t do jack.

Gunner would head to TNA soon after this as part of Immortal’s security force. Here he is in a singles effort on Impact, March 17, 2011.

TV Title: Rob Terry vs. Gunner vs. Murphy

Gunner has the tattoos. Got it. The tag team jumps Terry but then splits up soon. Hogan’s wife and Brooke (looks JUST like Linda) are here. We split the screen for a bit to show that the cops are here for Angle. People keep trying to steal wins which gets them nowhere. Murphy and Terry slug it out with Terry winning. Gunner pops up to spear him and then hits a modified F5 to win the title at 1:47. The match didn’t even make it to two minutes. Wow indeed. Bischoff comes out to applaud.

Here’s a six man on August 25, 2011 as part of Immortal’s war with Fourtune.

AJ Styles/Beer Money vs. Immortal

Ray/Gunner/Steiner here. This is Hardcore remember. Big brawl to start and Storm spits beer at someone, just like Steiner does at Roode. No one has been in the ring yet but they don‘t have to be here. I think whoever gets the fall here gets the points. Gunner vs. AJ in the ring now and Abyss is watching from the ramp. Dang AJ has a great dropkick. It only gets one and here‘s Steiner with a belly to belly.

Roode comes in and gets the Blockbuster for two. Ray kicks his head off for two and there have been no tags at all so far. Now it‘s Storm with a kick to the head and a cross body for two on Ray. The former champs hit a double suplex on Ray and SHOUT THOSE NAMES. Roode looks jacked here. AJ wakes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take out Ray. He‘s holding his knee though.

Gunner sends Storm into the set for two and Steiner misses a chair shot. Abyss is still lookint down at them. We go split screen which for once is a good idea. The fans boo because as usual, THEY CAN‘T SEE ANYTHING. Beer Money is getting beaten down and Storm has a locker dropped on his knees. Gunner, ever the smart dude, walks away as AJ hits the springboard clothesline for two on Ray back in the ring. Gunner comes back and AJ is distracted, letting Ray hit the Bubba Bomb for the pin on AJ at 6:00.

Rating: C. Meh just another six man hardcore match. It’s not bad or anything but it wasn’t great. Right in the middle works pretty well I think. It’s good to see someone move up in the ranks in the form of Ray but I’d like to see someone with an actual chance of going to BFG get the points instead. At the moment it’s looking like Beer Money, Ray and Crimson. For some reason, that doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Gunner would compete in the 2011 Bound For Glory Series and do quite well. Here’s his chance to make the final four on Impact, September 1, 2011.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

For all intents and purposes, the winner is the fourth man. Everyone else is mathematically eliminated and I’m not going to bother listing off the points tonight. It almost has to be Rob going but that would make too much sense so I’m not sure. Joe comes out almost immediately and Morgan jumps up to stop him. Joe kicks him in the balls but security sends him out.

After that we’re back to the match at hand and there’s not much going on. Gunner gets a slingshot suplex but Rob almost rolls out of it. Rob fires off some kicks and hits the Rolling Thunder. Here’s Jerry Lynn but Rob sends him to the back which is probably smart. Rob actually shows some intelligence and doesn’t try to go for the Five Star after being on the floor for a bit.

They trade rollups and Rob falls off the top trying to hit the one footed kick. Rob goes up again but Lynn comes back and shoves him off the top, allowing Gunner to hit a running knee for the pin at 4:57. Lynn’s smile is pretty awesome. This also puts Gunner into the four way at No Surrender as the fourth man.

Rating: C. The match was so-so but the point of this is it sets up a few stories and potential matches. I’m hoping they save RVD vs. Lynn for Philadelphia because it’ll guarantee a huge response no matter what the match looks like. I’m not sure I get why Gunner is going to be in the four way but it’s better than some other choices. At least they seem to have a plan here, which is a big upgrade for them.

And one more time the next week.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s the payoff at No Surrender 2011.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Here’s a pretty big PPV match at Genesis 2012.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it’s a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.

Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He’s out cold and that’s enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but too short to mean anything. I’ve heard Van Dam’s contract is up in March so maybe this is a way to write him off TV for a few months in case he doesn’t re-sign? If so it’s a good thing for him to be jobbing on his way out. Still though, match wasn’t much and Gunner is still just kind of there.

And another at Against All Odds 2012.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Garrett comes out to Hulk’s music. Garrett controls to start with his usual stuff. He’s in the workout pants still. Gunner takes over for a few moments until Garrett hooks a backslide and front facelock. At this point he has less of a moveset than Andy from Tough Enough. Gunner pulls him into the middle buckle and takes over again.

The beating goes on for several minutes and there’s nothing to say. It’s a guy with experience and some ring skills beating on a guy who knows a total of about 5 moves. This is getting ten minutes on PPV in the second to last match on the card, making it longer than the tag team title match. Gunner works over the neck for the most part.

Eric gets in Garrett’s face so Hogan decks him. Gunner hits probably his fourth neckbreaker but on the next attempt Garrett grabs the rope. Hogan picks up the towel but Garrett says no. And then Gunner DDTs him for the pin at 11:57. Yes, it actually got that much time. Why does this surprise me?

Rating: F. There is no justification for this match to get this much time on a PPV. None. I can’t stand this story because it’s not about Garrett or Gunner. It’s about Hogan, just like it always is. Hogan isn’t putting anyone over, because that would make him look weak and Impact Wrestling is all about him and Bischoff. I know I sound like some whiny fan boy here but this has been old since it started and it’s just going to keep going. How many people can’t get time on a PPV so that Eric’s son can be out there and bore everyone to death?

Gunner would disappear for a bit before returning to be James Storm’s partner at Slammiversary 2013.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Chavo and Hernandez are defending, this is under elimination rules and Storm has a badly hurt leg. Chavo and Daniels get things going with Daniels getting caught between right hands from both champions. Off to SuperMex to face Aries, with the latter jumping into a fall away slam. Back to Chavo who immediately pulls the now legal Roode into a headlock. Off to Storm vs. Roode and James can actually move. He throws a few right hands to take Roode down and it’s off to Gunner.

Bobby tags in Gunner as everything breaks down. Hernandez puts Roode on his shoulder for the backbreaker but Chavo suplexes Aries onto Hernandez’s other shoulder for a double backbreaker. That’s SCARY power. Storm and Gunner whip Roode and Aries into each other before Bad Influence comes in to stomp both guys down. Hernandez gets a running start to jump over the top rope and clothesline both guys down for two on Daniels. Kaz breaks up the delayed suplex on Daniels with a kick to Hernandez’s back before coming in legally.

After some more kicks to the legs of Hernandez it’s off to Roode for a stomping in the corner. Aries comes in with the slingshot hilo for two before putting on a front facelock. The fans chant for Aries but Hernandez suplexes both Aries and Roode down at the same time. Kaz gets the tag but Chavo comes in as well to clean house. There are Three Amigos to Kaz but Daniels sneaks in for Angel’s Wings on Chavo. Hernandez runs over Aries and Border Tosses Kaz, allowing the frog splash from Chavo to connect. Daniels breaks it up with a title belt for a DQ elimination at 10:52.

Aries immediately rolls up Chavo for the elimination at 11:10, leaving us with Aries/Roode and Storm/Gunner. Aries and Roode double team Gunner in the corner but he comes back with some running clotheslines. There’s the tag to Storm who pounds away on Roode and DDTs Aries down. Back to Gunner who catapults Aries into a Storm DDT for two. There’s the Gun Rack (Torture Rack) to Roode but Aries kicks Gunner in the ribs to break it up. The spinebuster from Roode sets up the 450 from Aries but it’s only good for two. Roode throws in a title belt but it’s the Last Call and Gun Rack to Aries for the submission and the titles at 16:28.

Rating: B. Another good match as this show is on a roll so far. I’m glad Storm is healthy enough to do the limited stuff he could do out there and Gunner looked solid as well. Hopefully we never have to see the other three teams fight again as the feud has been done to death already as the tag titles just need fresh blood now.

The new champions would team together in a six man on Impact, June 6, 2013.

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Kenny King vs. Chris Sabin/Gunner/James Storm

Sabin starts with an armdrag to take King down before sending him into the champions’ corner. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Roode and company bailing to the floor. Sabin dives on all three of them at once to fire up the crowd. Back in and Roode suplexes Sabin down before getting two off a knee drop. Off to Storm for a Beer Money reunion with James cleaning house until Roode clotheslines him down to take over. Aries comes in with a slingshot splash for two.

King hits a slingshot legdrop for two of his own before it’s back to Roode for some double teaming. Storm sends Aries into Roode to get himself a breather and the hot tag off to the hometown boy Gunner. Everything breaks down and Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner to take him down. Aries loads up the suicide dive but gets kicked in the head by Sabin. All Hail Sabin (the name for that piledriver kind of move Sabin has been using) pins King at 6:39.

Rating: C. This was your usual formula tag match but without enough time to really get anything going. Having all three new champions against their challengers is fine as you can combine both stories into a single match. This worked fine for what it was but hopefully they can do something new with the divisions instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again.

Here’s a chance for Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez to get a title shot on Impact, September 19, 2013.

Hernandez vs. Gunner

Hernandez runs Gunner over to start and drapes him ribs first over the top rope. The over the shoulder backbreaker gets two on Gunner and Hernandez hits the run down the running dive from the ramp to the ring for two. Gunner counters a suplex into a slingshot suplex to put Hernandez down again. A slam puts SuperMex down and Sheamus’ Irish Curse (Rock Bottom backbreaker) is good for the pin for Gunner at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful actually but I have zero interest in seeing Chavo and Hernandez on the same planet, let alone on the same team, ever again. They’re just not interesting at all and they never have been. Nothing much to see here, but it would imply another team gets the shot at BFG, thank goodness.

After the team lost the titles and split, Gunner would win the Feast or Fired briefcase for a World Title shot, which he cashed in on Impact, February 20, 2014.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Back with Magnus putting on a camel clutch as Tenay tells us this is No DQ and No countout, which I don’t remember being announced at first. Gunner fights up so Magnus changes to a sleeper, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. It’s Magnus up first and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus goes to the floor and gets the title belt but Gunner lifts him into a fireman’s carry. The champ escapes and both guys try cross bodies to give us another stalemate.

Ethan and the Bro Mans come in but the Wolves and Storm immediately come in to counter and they fight to the back. Gunner powerbombs Magnus down and hits a top rope headbutt to the ribs. Spud runs out and puts Magnus’ foot on the ropes and Gunner is TICKED. He goes after the Rockstar but gets blasted in the head with the title for a close two. Storm comes back out as Gunner starts Hulking Up. A Rock Bottom lays out Magnus and Gunner goes up again, only to have Storm superkick him out of the air, giving Magnus the pin at 16:38.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but the constant interference needs to calm down for a bit. I do like Storm turning as it means we don’t have to deal with him being the guy who used to be world champion a few years ago for two weeks. The match was going for an epic showdown but that doesn’t really work when we’ve been told about Gunner’s backstory over the span of two hours instead of say two months. Still though, good stuff and an actual match instead of the insanity with Sting and AJ’s shots at Magnus.

Here’s the first of many grudge matches between the two at Lockdown 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anything but I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

And another on Impact, March 27, 2014.

Gunner vs. James Storm

This is an Unlocked match, which is another name for a street fight. The fight is on in the aisle again and Gunner quickly sets up a table. Storm gets in a right hand before the table is completely set so he finishes Gunner’s job. Gunner is whipped knees first into the steps as Tenay tells us we’ll see Ethan and Willow’s confrontation before the show ends. A running knee to Gunner’s head knocks him from the apron to the floor. They haven’t been in the ring yet.

Storm suplexes Gunner onto the ramp but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Gunner nails him in the ribs with a chair and they finally get inside. The Cowboy comes back with a middle rope DDT of all things for no cover as we take a break. Back with Storm loading up a chair in the corner but getting reversed by Gunner. They slug it out with trashcan lids before Storm gets speared down for two.

Storm counters a sunset flip into a catapult, sending Gunner face first into the chair. A Backstabber sets up a VERY long top rope elbow to give Storm a near fall. Storm pulls out a beer bottle but the distraction lets Gunner spear him through the ropes and through the table on the floor ala Edge and Mick Foley. That only gets two so Gunner sets up two chairs (one of which is broken) in the middle of the ring.

A superplex through the chairs (Storm barely hit them) is enough for two in a nice throwback to the ending at Lockdown. Storm comes back with a Closing Time and a pair of Last Calls for two. James gets the beer bottle but Gunner finds his own to lay out Storm. An F5 is enough to pin the Cowboy at 15:03.

Rating: B+. This was one heck of a fight with both guys beating the tar out of each other. There’s something awesome about two men just hammering each other until one of them can’t get up. I don’t like the story here though as the match was tacked on to the feud after the previous match should have ended things. Still though, awesome stuff.

And the final one from Sacrifice 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Gunner is a guy that may not be the most interesting or detailed guy in history but he’s incredibly intense and has a great look. I met him at a house show once and the guy is as polite and professional as you could ask for. He’ll also shake your hand off with one of the firmest grips you’ll ever find. He’s grown on me which is surprising given that I didn’t care about him one bit when he started.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Sorry about your luck. Today is James Storm.

This is going to be another one where I have to jump around a lot. Storm has just done so much in TNA that I have to skip over stuff.

Storm got started around 2000 and actually appeared in WCW. From Worldwide in June 2000.

3 Count vs. James Storm/Cassidy Riley/Air Paris

Evan Karagais takes Cassidy down to the mat to start but takes too much time dancing and gets slammed down. Riley tries a springboard but TOTALLY botches it, falling flat on his face. Even a WCW crowd in 2000 can laugh at that. Paris (then partner of AJ Styles) comes in off the top to take over and drops an ax handle to take over. Karagais comes back with a powerslam before it’s off to Moore.

Paris nails a leg lariat but almost drops Shannon in a wheelbarrow slam. Evan trips Paris from the apron and a double team fall away slam/neckbreaker combination gets two on Air. Helms comes in with a superkick and some running legdrops for two. 3 Count starts speeding up the tags but Moore misses a moonsault. Storm comes in off the hot tag and cleans house as everything breaks down. 3 Count clears the ring and hits an assisted wheelbarrow slam on Storm for the pin.

Rating: D. Exactly what I was expecting here and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. This was just a long squash with the jobbers looking better than most people of their level. Storm had some intensity out there and it’s always cool to see a guy like that when he’s first starting, knowing what he’s going to become.

Storm would head to TNA when it first opened and appear on its first card.

Johnsons vs. Psicosis/James Storm

Yes, it’s the tag team that wear masks and full body suits in flesh color.  What do you think they look like? This team actually exists. Storm looks completely different too and it’s not a good thing either. Storm fires off some cap guns. Good for him. OH MAN he looks young. Apparently their names are Richard and Rod, or Dick and Rod. I hate this already. Ryan Shamrock comes out looking hot to watch them.

And now it devolves into nothing but bad jokes. They say Psicosis’ real name for absolutely no apparent reason. Ryan Shamrock, called Alicia, still is there. Storm hits a rana and a very good one at that. They say Storm could be great. Not really but he’s not bad. And then he gets pinned off a bad TKO.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless. It’s like they have nothing but the main event and they know it. This was just freaking awful. The jokes were completely pointless and annoying. I have no clue what they were going for here but whatever.

He would soon hook up with Chris Harris in the team that would become AMW. They were entered in the Gauntlet For the Gold at Weekly PPV #12 to crown the first Tag Team Champions.

Gauntlet for the Gold

There are twenty people (ten teams) in this with two individuals starting. It’s a Royal Rumble style match and when there are two people left, the partners return for a tag match for the vacant titles, which were vacated when AJ/Lynn had a double pin against Jarrett/Killings. Brian Lawler is #1 and James Storm is #2. Lawler crotches him on the ropes before the bell but Storm fires off right hands. Apparently Chris Harris is going to be #20.

Storm pounds away to start and a missile dropkick puts Brian down. With nothing else happening, here’s Jose Maximo at #3. Lawler gets double teamed in the corner for a bit before fighting both guys off. Derek Wyles is #4 but after some headscissors, Lawler throws him out. Joel is dumped too and we’re back to Storm vs. Lawler. Actually scratch that as Lawler eliminates his third guy in a row by sending Storm out. You know, because Brian Lawler is AWESOME.

Buff Bagwell is #5 and he comes in with middle fingers blazing. Oh wait he’s Marcus Bagwell here, despite looking and wrestling like he has for years. Bagwell hits a neckbreaker and pounds away in the corner until Kobain is #6. Lawler again gets to dominate some more talented people until Ace Steele is #7. There’s nothing of note to talk about here as it’s just standing around and slowly beating on each other in the corner with Lawler biting Bagwell’s head.

Jorge Estrada is #8 and gets chopped by Steele. The ring is getting too full now. Lawler hits Bagwell low in the corner and Brian Lee is #9. Hopefully he can throw some of these little men out. We don’t get that of course since that would help the match, so here’s Syxx-Pac at #10. Syxx cleans house and dumps Jose off a chop (yes a chop) before hitting the Bronco Buster on Marcus.

CM Punk (Steele’s partner) is #11 but Steele is thrown out before Punk makes it to the ring. We hear about how impressive it is that Lawler has lasted ELEVEN minutes as Jimmy Rave (Derrick Wylde) is #12. Punk hits a Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog on Rave as there are too many people out there. Ron Harris (Brian Lee) is #13 to give us our first full team. Their dominance is shown as they send Jorge to the apron, but the Karate Elvis (again, seriously) sunset flips Lee down to survive. The second attempt works though and Estrada is gone.

Punk and Rave are tossed by the big guys as well, meaning two full teams are eliminated. Syxx sends out Bagwell and Lawler (no fanfare, which is odd as the announcers have spent ten minutes worshipping the guy) as BG James (Marcus Bagwell) is #14. We get heel miscommunication between Lee and Harris but Road Dogg (blonde here for some reason) gets stomped down I the corner. Joel Maximo (Jose Maximo) is #15 and is out about two seconds later.

Syxx gets hit with a big double spinebuster but since Waltman is a GIANT KILLER he clotheslines both of them down at once. Since we haven’t seen enough of him tonight, here’s Brian Lawler AGAIN to throw out Syxx. Slash (Kobain) is #16 and BG James is triple teamed. Sonni Siaki (Jorge Estrada) is #17 and he goes after Slash to give James a breather.

Disco Inferno (Brian Lawler) is #18 as the match continues to drag. Scott Hall (Syxx Pac) is #19 and he pounds away on Lee. Ron Harris is dumped out and Chris Harris (James Storm) is #20, giving us a final grouping of Hall, Chris Harris, Siaki, Disco, James and Lee. The announcers aren’t sure if Slash was eliminated despite seeing him go over the top. Siaki is dumped and Disco gets caught between Hall and BG until Hall finally knocks him out. Hall and James square off but Lee jumps both guys for stereo eliminations, getting us down to Harris vs. Lee, meaning the battle royal is over.

Rating: D. This was long and dull with the partner thing going almost nowhere. Between that and the worship of Brian Lawler, this never went anywhere. The fast intervals helped, but so many of these people are unknown for the most part, which makes it hard to care about any of them. Also the two giants looked pitiful out there for the most part which didn’t do them any favors.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Haris

Ron chokeslams James on the stage to start things off as a handicap match. Also here’s Jeff Jarrett to beat up BG James and take the focus off the title match. Lee kicks Chris in the face as AMW (are they even called that yet?) is in big trouble. Chris comes back for a bit but gets clotheslined down for two. West points out the problem here: too many people named James and Harris.

Storm finally gets back in and cleans house, only to get caught in a chokeslam/belly to back suplex combo for no cover. Ron pulls out a table for no apparent reason and lays Storm out on top of it. Lee loads up Chris in a chokeslam but gets rolled up (and into the ropes) to give AMW the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was barely even a match with Chris getting beaten down for a few minutes and Storm being on the floor most of the time. The table thing was stupid and the ending was even worse as both guys were in the ropes for the fall and the referee counted it anyway. Nothing to see here, but at least the right team won.

America’s Most Wanted would DOMINATE the tag division for years. Their first major rivals were XXX, who they would face on June 25, 2003 in a cage match.

Tag Titles: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted

From June 25, 2003 and inside a cage. This isn’t the famous cage match these teams had but I’ve seen this one before and it’s awesome as well. The champions XXX are comprised of Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels while the challengers are James Storm/Chris Harris. This is the fifth match but XXX has won via outside interference every single time. This is also TNA’s first ever cage match.

It’s a brawl to start but the referee makes them tag to get on my nerves. Harris bulldogs Daniels down before AMW picks up Skipper and launches him into Daniels. This is pin or submission only, meaning escape doesn’t count. Daniels and Harris are the official starters and the fans chant for the Fallen Angel. Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron before throwing him face first into the cage for two. Harris is already busted open.

The champions take turns stomping on Harris’ forehead until Daniels gets two off a springboard moonsault press by Skipper. Harris gets a lucky shot off a running clothesline but Daniels kicks his head off for two. Back to Skipper who sends Harris into the cage again but Harris comes off the ropes with another clothesline. There’s the hot tag to Storm who cleans house, sending Skipper chest first into the cage with a reverse suplex. A powerslam gets two on Daniels but he kicks Storm’s knee out to slow him down.

We get a Kill the Cowboy chant, which is hopefully a remnant from the early days of the company rather than the fans not liking Storm’s current work. The champions hit a suplex/cross body combo on the bloody Storm but Skipper’s ribs are injured from being sent into the cage. Back up and the two of them rams heads, setting up a double tag to Harris and Daniels. Harris takes over with the raw power by ramming Daniels head first into the cage over and over. Skipper’s ribs get reacquainted with the steel as well as Daniels is busted open too.

Harris loads up the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) but Daniels counters into the Angel’s Wings (lifting sitout Pedigree) for a very close two. Everything breaks down and Daniels blocks a reverse tornado DDT by taking Storm onto the top rope for an STO to the mat. Skipper belly to bellys Harris down before sending him into the cage again. Elix goes up top for no apparent reason but gets powerbombed down in a HUGE crash to give Harris a near fall.

Daniels hits Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) on Storm for an even closer two as Harris makes yet another save. Harris and Daniels go up top but Daniels backs away across the rope, allowing Harris to hit a diving spear for an even closer near fall. Skipper takes Harris down with the Play of the Day before going for a very big climb. Elix dives off the top with a high cross body but reinjures his ribs in the process. STORYTELLING BABY!

A delayed cover gets two so Skipper goes up again, only to be knocked down a bit and then out to the floor. Storm superkicks Daniels down and the Death Sentence (spinebuster/legdrop) mostly misses Daniels for two. Skipper tries to climb back in but gets knocked back to the floor. Harris goes up to the very top of the cage for a HUGE Death Sentence to crush Daniels for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. There’s your price of admission right there. This was all about taking two teams and having them beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes. On top of that we have the story of Skipper’s ribs in a good piece of psychology, a rarity in matches like these. The amazing thing is these four would top this effort in another cage match at Turning Point the following year. Great match.

AMW would lose the belts in 2004 but get another shot at them on the first episode of Impact, on June 4, 2004.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Kid Kash/Dallas

AMW is challenging. The idea is Kash and Dallas have been ducking the only team they know can take the titles but tonight they’re out of places to run. The winners here have to defend against the winners of a fan poll next Wednesday night. Kash and Storm get us going with the Cowboy taking him down by the arm. Off to Harris for a clothesline and bulldog for two but Dallas makes the save.

Back to Storm who gets caught in a hot shot, allowing for the tag off to the big man Dallas. We take a break and come back with Storm superkicking Kash down, only to have Dallas make the save at two. Kash goes to the corner and climbs onto Kash’s shoulders but misses the moonsault, allowing for the hot tag off to Harris. A cross body and clothesline get two each on Dallas as everything breaks down. Dallas loads up Storm in a reverse Razor’s Edge before flipping him down onto his back for a frog splash from Kid but Harris spears Kash down. Dallas kicks Harris in the face but Storm rolls him up for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. Basic tag formula here with a title change to give the show some historical significance. AMW continues to be the best team ever in TNA as they have that chemistry that you only see in great teams. Kash and Dallas were just placeholder champions until AMW stopped their singles stuff over the last month or so.

Here’s the most famous tag match in TNA history. From Turning Point 2004.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Since AMW dominated for SO long, we’ll jump ahead to Bound For Glory 2005. AMW is now a heel team and their opponents here have given them more headaches than any other team in history.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

I can never remember which one is Stevens and which one is Douglas. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start with the Naturals in control. Ok Douglas has the bandage on his head. Got it. Storm gets powerbombed into the railing which looked SICK. The challengers get Harris in the ring and beat him down in the corner. Storm is walking out on the match. The Naturals go back and get him because it’s about revenge more than the titles. I can live with that if it’s done right and it has been here.

We’re over three minutes into this and there has been no tagging or one on one in the ring at all so far. Harris gets choked by both Naturals on the floor until they get bored and Douglas goes after Storm. Gail finally does something and distracts Douglas, allowing Storm to send him into the Ultimate X structure. Douglas’ cut is busted open now. Five minuets in now and they’re in the ring but it’s still 2-1.

Ok it’s FINALLY Storm vs. Douglas. Eye of the Storm gets two and Harris comes in without a tag. Stevens comes in after Douglas was in trouble for about a minute. Douglas is bleeding pretty good though so that likely has something to do with it. A Naturals double team gets two on Storm. The move that would later be named the Last Call misses and Stevens hits a kick of his own for two.

Gail throws in some powder to Harris but Chase Stevens knocks it into the Wildcat’s face. Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom, his finisher) on Storm. The Naturals hit the Death Sentence on Harris but it only gets two. Gail breaks up the Natural Disaster (double team elevated Stunner) so Douglas goes to the floor and grabs her by the hair. The distraction lets Harris handcuff Douglas to the barricade. Stevens his an enziguri on Storm but Harris busts a bottle over Stevens’ head and the Death Sentence retains the title.

Rating: B. WOW. This was only about ten minutes long but they flat out DO NOT STOP the whole time. It’s a wild brawl and I bought into the revenge that the Naturals were wanting the whole way. The biggest criticism of the Naturals is that they have no charisma, but man they were bringing it here and the match WORKED. Very good stuff. AMW would hold the titles for over eight months until the dream team of Styles and Daniels took them away.

The next major challengers were AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels, billed as a dream team. AMW’s manager Gail Kim cheated to keep the belts on her men, but a rematch took place at Sacrifice 2006.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

Styles and Daniels jump the champions to start and Daniels/Harris go to the floor so AJ can hit the dropdown dropkick on the Cowboy. Daniels comes in and we’re ready to go. He takes Storm down and cranks on the arm but it’s off to Harris who runs Daniels over. The challengers double team Storm and Harris’ full nelson slam is countered into a bridging Indian Deathlock with a chinlock but the Cowboy makes the save.

Styles comes in legally now and the challengers tag in and out quickly to work on the arm. AMW finally starts cheating and get Daniels into the corner to take over. The champs cheat like true heel champions would do with choking and face pulling before Harris hooks a chinlock. A back elbow gets two on the Fallen Angel. Daniels counters an Irish whip to send Storm’s shoulder into the post and it’s hot tag to AJ.

AJ speeds things way up with his headscissors but Storm makes the save. Daniels gets tagged back in for some reason and we get a Tower of Doom with Daniels on top. Oh scratch that as he shoves the Tower down and hits a top rope cross body for two on Harris. I wish AMW would have their names on their trunks because when their backs are to the camera it’s very hard to tell them apart.

Daniels throws Harris into the crowd and AJ dives from the top rope over the barrier and onto Harris. The match kind of breaks down a bit and everyone is on the floor. A fan has a box of cereal for some reason. Back in and Daniels breaks up the Death Sentence before putting Harris into a fireman’s carry. AJ hits the Pele before the DVD hits to kill Harris dead. BME misses but the Last Call does as well. Harris hits his spear to take Daniels down for two.

It’s Storm vs. Daniels legally now but Daniels hits a double clothesline to bring in Styles. AJ goes up high with a double clothesline of his own but he charges into a boot from Storm. AJ loads up a superplex but Harris makes the save, resulting in a Doomsday Device into a reverse tornado DDT by Storm for two. That looked awesome.

Daniels comes back in for the save and the challengers hit a BME/Frog Splash combo for two on Storm. Styles tries the Clash but the Cowboy escapes with a low blow and the superkick for two. Angel’s Wings hits Storm for two as Harris makes the save. This is getting awesome. Daniels, Harris and the referee get knocked to the floor and something falls from the rafters into the ring. It’s a nightstick and Gail Kim is seen in the rafters. AJ hits the Clash on Storm but Harris blasts him in the back of the head with the nightstick for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This was getting awesome at the end but we had to have Gail Kim interfere to end the thing. This would set up another match at Slammiversary which wasn’t as good but it gave us the title change which we needed. Still though, this was the old school idea of putting four guys out there and giving them fifteen minutes to have a great match. As usual, it worked.

The team would eventually split with Storm turning heel and blinding Harris with a beer bottle. The first match at Lockdown sucked, but the rematch at Sacrifice 2007 was a bit better.

Chris Harris vs. James Storm

This is a Texas Death Match, which is last man standing but you have to get a pin or submission before the ten count begins. Both guys are in street clothes. In a cool visual, Harris rips up an AMW shirt on his way to the ring. This feels like it’s going to be awesome which is a very good sign. They slug it out in the aisle and Harris has the trademark handcuffs.

They go into the crowd almost immediately and Storm is running away. They’re in the back row of the arena and Storm is almost thrown over the wall in the back. I wonder what’s back there. Maybe it’s where they keep Shark Boy? All Harris so far as they head to the ring. Storm throws a drink in Harris’ face to shift momentum but Storm gets thrown into a wall to changes things right back again.

Harris is in the ring alone and has a beer and a chair. Storm is still over the railing so Harris hits a HUGE dive over the railing to kill Storm dead and gets a pin. Storm is up at 8 though. Harris goes up again but Storm knocks him off and gets his leg tied up in the ropes so that he’s in a Tree of Woe but hanging outside the ropes. Storm cracks him with a chair to the head and Harris is busted.

It’s Table Time as Harris is placed on the top rope. He avoids a hurricanrana and counters a sunset flip (???) into a Sharpshooter of all things. Well it takes out the legs so that makes sense. He can’t get it on so he kicks Storm in the balls. He catapults Storm face first into the bottom of the table, cutting him open on the metal part. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Harris can’t suplex him through the table so Storm kicks him low to balance things out.

Storm hits the Eye of the Storm to put Harris through the table. That looked awesome and it gets an academic pin but only gets nine. Here’s another table brought in by the Cowboy. He falls down trying to get it in though, probably due to blood loss. The table is on the outside but Storm can’t hit another Eye over the top. Harris goes to the apron and gets caught in an Elevated DDT for no cover.

Storm brings in various basic hardcore weapons but as he’s getting in himself, Harris spears him through the ropes to put him through the table. Not exactly Foley vs. Edge but not bad. Back in, Harris picks up a chair and Storm superkicks it into his face for two. Storm is STUNNED. You can’t see Storm’s face. It’s literally a crimson mask. They trade HARD trashcan lid shots and Harris hits the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) onto a trashcan for two.

Now the match gets taken down a peg because Jackie Freaking Moore has to get involved. WHY DOES SHE ALWAYS HAVE A JOB??? She isn’t attractive, she’s nothing special in the ring, she’s always getting in the way, and NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HER. And if you say you do, you’re lying. Gail Kim comes out and cuffs her so she can drag her out of here. Both guys have beer bottles and Harris gets a shot to the head of Storm for the pin and the ten count. Perfect way to end it.

Rating: A. GREAT brawl and war here which is exactly what they needed to do. Tenay and West freak out and say how great it is and for once this year, they’re right. This was a blood war and Storm’s face is absolutely scary given how much blood there was on it. Great match and absolutely worth seeing based on the level of violence here.

Speaking of gimmick matches, here’s one of the ones that didn’t last long. From Destination X 2008.

Elevation X: Rhyno vs. James Storm

Beer Money would be coming soon enough to end this feud. Considering we have two matches left and 35 minutes or so on the show, I have a bad feeling about this. Rhyno slips climbing up as you can already see how stupid this is. Storm goes down as Rhyno comes up. Rhyno throws beers that Storm had on top of the X with him at Storm.

We’re fighting on the floor now in a scaffold match. A table is set up by the former world champion and I already hate this match. This is a GREAT scaffold match guys. Them being a full FOUR FEET off the ground is great here. Jackie gets chased by Rhyno and of course climbs the scaffold. She goes down and we start the match only 7 minutes after the bell rings.

We keep looking to the crowd to see the fans all concerned despite them crawling or sitting on the X. Rhyno almost falls but lands on another part of the X. This is just them hanging on and punching each other. The fans WANT WRESTLING. The X is covered by red wood and has metal bars under that. Storm hides on the bars so Rhyno can’t see Storm. This is like some bad action movie minus the action. Rhyno rips the wood up and grabs Storm to get him out. This is beyond description of awfulness. Storm hangs from underneath and gets kicked into a perfectly placed table to end this monstrosity.

Rating: F-. As the fans said, WE WANT WRESTLING. This of course was the longest match of the night and by far the worst. They show the fall again and you see that it would be like the height Jeff gets on a Swanton Bomb. At least it’s over and this would only happen one other time, I believe after this.

Storm would soon form a new team with Bobby Roode called Beer Money. Their first shot at the belts came at Hard Justice 2008.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.

Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.

An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.

Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.

The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.

Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.

What would a tag team be if they didn’t face the Dudleys? Team 3D has the belts here but Beer Money won a tournament to get a shot at Slammiversary 2009.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

3D was in Japan last night so they’re a bit spent. They’re the IWGP tag champions but that doesn’t mean much here. D-Von vs. Storm to start us off. Basic start and it’s off to Roode and the double teaming begins. Roode tries to hammer on Ray and that just fails completely. Ray chops away in the corner and a HUGE German sends Roode into near death.

Double teaming takes Beer Money down but it’s off to Storm vs. D-Von with the alcoholic taking over. Down goes Storm and there’s the double tag. Bubba Bomb gets two and everything breaks down again. What’s Up to Roode and it’s Table Time. Storm is almost put through one on the floor but instead Roode hits a spinebuster for two. There’s the Beer Money shout.

And here come the Brits because we haven’t had a run-in in awhile I guess. This was a three way feud for awhile and the fans chant USA for a bit. They sit in on commentary a bit while West uses a BAD British accent. We actually go split screen because we need to see the commentators TALKING right? Oh good they got rid of it. Now they’re just showing the commentators instead. This company makes my head hurt badly.

D-Von gets a hot tag if you’re interested in the match. He cleans house and gets a left armed Rock Bottom for two. I think they hit 3D II (the belly to back neckbreaker) but we need to see Magnus talking about a cross body instead of the move. Storm hits a cross body to take out both guys and then a Doomsday Device is broken up. Storm hits a top rope rana to set up a top rope splash from Roode to D-Von for two.

Ray breaks up a double superplex attempt on D-Von and the Doomsday Device gets two on Roode. The beer spit goes into Roode’s eyes (as always) and 3D hits 3D on Roode but Terry pops up on the apron. BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR TO TAKE OUT THE BRITS!!!! WOW!!!!! Williams is knocked through the table but Last Call and DWI give Beer Money the belts.

Rating: B. This would have been high but the Brits were a bit annoying. They were playing this up almost like the chess match but it couldn’t quite hit the level of epic that they were going for I don’t think. Still though, good stuff from two great teams, back in the day when the TNA tag division really was awesome, especially with the Guns floating around out there somewhere.

We’ll skip ahead a bit more since Beer Money was around a LONG time. Here’s one of their matches with a team that needs no introduction. From Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

The team would turn face eventually and start doing a lot more singles stuff. Roode would win the BFG Series in 2011 but lose in the title match at Bound For Glory. Storm however got a shot on October 20, 2011.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

The bell is ringing at 10:55 so this is going to be short. Angle pounds him down in the corner but brags too much. He walks into a superkick and Storm is champion at 1:20. Well they can’t make it much more definitive than that.

Roode would turn on his partner two weeks later to win the belt. Storm would lose what should have been the easiest layup ever for TNA in his home state at Lockdown 2012, but TNA felt the SWERVE was the better choice. Storm would take time off afterwards before answering an open challenge at Slammiversary 2012.

Crimson vs. ???

Crimson runs down Texas a bit and says he’ll fight a Maverick, a Ranger or a Cowboy if he has to. The opponent is…..JAMES STORM? Oh yeah the streak is done. The match starts fast and Crimson is quickly clotheslined to the floor. Storm has the old trenchcoat too. We get some hard chops in the corner but Crimson comes back with a shot to the head. There goes the coat and Storm is in some trouble. Storm shrugs all that off, hits the Codebreaker which has another name that I can’t remember, seems to go into a seizure, and hits the Last Call to end the streak at 2:09.

Storm would get another chance at Roode at BFG 2012.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

MMA fighter King Mo is guest outside referee for no apparent reason. Storm takes over to start and hits a fast backdrop. We head to the floor with Storm in control. He hits Roode in the back with a chair but Roode sends him into the barricade to counter. Storm leg sweeps him into the barricade as well and Roode is in trouble early. Bobby comes back and sends Storm into the post, busting him open. Well at least they’re not waiting on bringing the violence here.

We get the weapons thrown into the ring and the fans want tables, because what would a street fight be without tables? Oh man Storm’s cut is a gusher. Roode puts a chair between the top and middle ropes, allowing James to come back with some kendo stick shots to the ribs. Storm hits a trashcan into Bobby’s balls using a kendo stick like a golf club to make Roode vibrate on the mat.

They head to the ramp with Storm hitting a DDT on the I guess wood. Storm jabs Roode in the ribs with a fan’s crutch and DESTROYS him with a trashcan. Mo hasn’t been a factor yet. Roode snaps off a spinebuster onto the ramp out of nowhere to give himself a breather. Storm grabs a fan’s beer for a quick refreshment. They head to the announce table and Roode kind of spears Storm through the other table to take over. There is blood EVERYWHERE. That gets two back in the ring and Roode yells at Hebner, which gets him in trouble with Mo.

The distraction lets Storm hit the Codebreaker and Last Call….for two. I’m glad that was only two as it would have been a pretty weak ending. Another superkick is caught and Storm is sent face first into the chair Roode set up in the corner a long time ago. That gets two so Roode puts Storm on the top rope. He gets a chair for a hard shot to the head and busts out the bag of thumbtacks. See, now that it’s been awhile since we’ve done this, it means something again. Roode tries a superplex onto the tacks but gets shoved down into them in a painful looking spot.

Storm drops a top rope elbow for two but Roode hits him low to stop Storm’s comeback. Roode goes to the floor and gets a beer bottle which is what started this whole thing. Storm hits Bobby low, takes a drink of the beer, and cracks the bottle over Roode’s head. Storm stands him up, and with Roode out on his feet, a second Last Call sends Roode into the tacks for the pin at 17:27. King Mo was barely a factor here and didn’t need to be around at all.

Rating: B+. In short, the cage match was better. That’s all this boils down to: the match at Lockdown was one of the best built up matches I can remember in a long time but they extended the feud because that’s what seemed like the right idea. Now don’t get me wrong: this was a great brawl and a good bloodbath and it had the perfect ending to the feud, but the feud didn’t need to be here, or at least not with Storm losing the second match. This is like Rock beating Austin at Wrestlemania 19 with nothing on the line. It’s a very good match, but it doesn’t mean as much.

Storm would enter the Joker’s Wild competition at a One Night Only show and make the finals.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

It’s basically a 12 man Royal Rumble meaning you eliminate people by going over the top and the winner get the money. Storm is #1 and Roode is #2. I think there are two minute intervals between entrants here. Roode sends him into the corner to start and pounds away as the announcers make thinly veiled references to the Royal Rumble. Storm comes back with an atomic drop and a backdrop before pounding away in the corner. Roode holds off elimination until D-Von is #3. That would put the intervals at about 90 seconds.

Storm gets double teamed for the entire time as Doc is #4. Seriously, there was nothing to talk about in that whole stretch. The bikers beat on the former Beer Money as Tazz asks what kind of a roller coaster he is. Storm gets up a boot in the corner and D-Von is in trouble. A double suplex puts Doc down and a double clothesline puts him out. D-Von clotheslines both guys down and Jesse Godderz is #5.

D-Von chokes Storm in the corner as Roode beats on Godderz. Bobby tries to put Storm out but Jesse the idiot breaks it up. Christian York is #6 as everyone fights each other. D-Von takes turns beating on Godderz and York as Beer Money continues their eternal feud. Joseph Park is #7 and appears to be sweating before he makes it to the ring. Now the intervals are at two minutes.

Roode offers an alliance with Park but kicks him in the ribs instead. Park runs him over before pounding on York in the corner, only to be hit low by D-Von. We’re into your standard battle royal formula here: a lot of stomping and punching near the ropes with the occasional attempted elimination. Mr. Anderson is #8 and still showing no indication of being part of Aces and 8’s here. He chops Jesse and hands him to Park for the easy elimination.

Now Anderson goes after Park for a bit before heading towards D-Von. The camera cuts away and once we go back, it’s Anderson working on Storm. Nice editing there. Park has D-Von in trouble in the corner but he sneaks back in. Daniels is #9 and you know he’s strutting on the way to the ring. He and Roode team up to have Park in trouble but an eye rake keeps the big man safe. Daniels is the only one doing much at the moment as we’re firmly in the battle royal lull.

Samoa Joe is #10 and he goes right for Daniels with rapid fire right hands. Now he’s after D-Von as Tazz freaks out. York and Daniels both survive elimination attempts and not a lot else happens at the moment. Rob Terry is #11 which means Morgan is #12. Terry starts cleaning house with clotheslines and throws out York to clear some space. Daniels joins York on the floor at Terry’s hands before Anderson misses a charge and goes out as well.

Here’s Morgan at #12, giving us a final grouping of Storm, Roode, D-Von, Park, Joe, Terry and Morgan. Terry tells Morgan to bring it on but D-Von and Park break up the staredown. Now it’s Park vs. Morgan and Joseph is out before I can finish typing that. Joe gets a running start at Morgan but is easily tossed out as well to get us down to five. A very low blow from Morgan is enough to eliminate Terry so we’ve got D-Von, Roode, Storm and Morgan.

Speaking of Morgan, he misses the Carbon Footprint and hits the ropes, allowing Storm to forearm him out. With the referee not looking, Knux of Aces and 8’s comes out and pulls Roode through the ropes and out to the floor. Knux tries to cheat again but D-Von hits him by mistake, allowing Storm to toss D-Von. Roode throws Storm over but makes the eternal mistake of not watching him the floor. One Last Call later and Storm wins the money.

Rating: D+. It’s a battle royal. What else do you want me to say here? It followed the same plot that almost all matches like this one follow, meaning it was ok once in awhile but for the most part there’s nothing of note to see. Storm winning is fine, although I’m really getting tired of people going bell to bell in battle royals. We get it: it’s something impressive. Let it rest already.

Since it’s James Storm, he would be put in another tag team and get a shot at the belts at Slammiversary 2013.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Chavo and Hernandez are defending, this is under elimination rules and Storm has a badly hurt leg. Chavo and Daniels get things going with Daniels getting caught between right hands from both champions. Off to SuperMex to face Aries, with the latter jumping into a fall away slam. Back to Chavo who immediately pulls the now legal Roode into a headlock. Off to Storm vs. Roode and James can actually move. He throws a few right hands to take Roode down and it’s off to Gunner.

Bobby tags in Gunner as everything breaks down. Hernandez puts Roode on his shoulder for the backbreaker but Chavo suplexes Aries onto Hernandez’s other shoulder for a double backbreaker. That’s SCARY power. Storm and Gunner whip Roode and Aries into each other before Bad Influence comes in to stomp both guys down. Hernandez gets a running start to jump over the top rope and clothesline both guys down for two on Daniels. Kaz breaks up the delayed suplex on Daniels with a kick to Hernandez’s back before coming in legally.

After some more kicks to the legs of Hernandez it’s off to Roode for a stomping in the corner. Aries comes in with the slingshot hilo for two before putting on a front facelock. The fans chant for Aries but Hernandez suplexes both Aries and Roode down at the same time. Kaz gets the tag but Chavo comes in as well to clean house. There are Three Amigos to Kaz but Daniels sneaks in for Angel’s Wings on Chavo. Hernandez runs over Aries and Border Tosses Kaz, allowing the frog splash from Chavo to connect. Daniels breaks it up with a title belt for a DQ elimination at 10:52.

Aries immediately rolls up Chavo for the elimination at 11:10, leaving us with Aries/Roode and Storm/Gunner. Aries and Roode double team Gunner in the corner but he comes back with some running clotheslines. There’s the tag to Storm who pounds away on Roode and DDTs Aries down. Back to Gunner who catapults Aries into a Storm DDT for two. There’s the Gun Rack (Torture Rack) to Roode but Aries kicks Gunner in the ribs to break it up. The spinebuster from Roode sets up the 450 from Aries but it’s only good for two. Roode throws in a title belt but it’s the Last Call and Gun Rack to Aries for the submission and the titles at 16:28.

Rating: B. Another good match as this show is on a roll so far. I’m glad Storm is healthy enough to do the limited stuff he could do out there and Gunner looked solid as well. Hopefully we never have to see the other three teams fight again as the feud has been done to death already as the tag titles just need fresh blood now.

One last match as the team split and Gunner fought Storm in a last man standing cage match at Lockdown 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anything but I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

James Storm is one of the guys that has actually risen up the card throughout his career and deserves everything he gets. The guy is so over it’s unreal but for some reason TNA won’t give him a long run with the title. As badly as they are in need of fresh blood at the top of the roster, Storm would seem like a pretty obvious pick. The guy bleeds charisma and can have a good match so why not pull the trigger on him?

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Joker’s Wild II
Date: May 9, 2014
Location: National Indoor Arena, Birmingham, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

These things are back again with another random tag partners competition. It’s the same format as the first in the series: take four random wrestlers and put them in a tag match, then have the winners go into a gauntlet battle royal. The winner gets a check for $100,000. I wouldn’t mind if they used money as a motivating factor in wrestling more often. Let’s get to it.

 

As usual, we open with a package of clips from the show we’re about to see.

Jeremy Borash and Christy Hemme explain the concept for the night. They also do the drawing for the first match, which they’ll be doing before every tag match tonight.

Gunner/Chris Sabin vs. British Invasion

It’s Magnus/Doug Williams, which should tell you a thing or two about how this show is going to go. This is one of Sabin’s final appearances as he’s gone from the company by the time this show airs. Doug and Sabin get things going with the Englishman taking him down by the arm. The announcers are already in their own little world as Williams hangs onto the arm even though a monkey flip. Sabin is sent to the floor for a chase and eats a European uppercut back inside.

Off to Gunner for some nice applause and one off a shoulder block. The tag brings in Magnus to a mixed reaction and the showdown with Gunner. Well it would be a showdown if this were on regular TNA TV and Magnus were still World Champion but there’s only so much for me to work with on this show. A headlock takes Gunner down to the mat but he fights back with a fall away slam for two.

Back to Sabin who gets caught in a double neckbreaker for two. The announcers are talking about tag team wrestling for a change. Granted it’s about Taz’s career but at least they’re getting closer than they were earlier when they talked about wrestling polar bears. A sunset flip from Douglas gets two on Gunner but it’s quickly back to Sabin. Chris chokes Douglas with a rope from his wrist to get some cheating in there but the fans cheer Douglas back to his feet.

Gunner comes in again but charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Williams to come off the middle rope with a European uppercut. Taz’s line during that sequence: “Calculus 202. That was my thing.” He’s talking about math, not the uppercut in case you’re looking for a double meaning or a metaphor there. Everything breaks down and Gunner puts Magnus in the Gun Rack but Sabin tags himself in and gets two on Magnus. Sabin accidentally hits his partner, setting up the snapmare into the top rope elbow from Magnus for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. This was your typical One Night Only match: the wrestling wasn’t bad but the lack of a strong story hurts it. It’s not bad or anything and there was a basic story of having an experienced team against a makeshift team but this was much more for the live crowd than the PPV audience.

The British Invasion both say they’ll win the gauntlet for the money later tonight. Magnus emphasizes that the reunion was indeed for one night only but there are no hard feelings.

Bad Influence says they’ll both carry their partners and then win the gauntlet. The Bro Mans come in and promise they’ll win but Bad Influence says the Bro Mans might not be together tonight. Robbie seems a little more aware of what’s going on tonight. This turns into a discussion of hair gel.

Robbie E./Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe/Bad Bones

By the powers, what a coincidence. And right after they were talking too! Bad Bones is the German wrestler that Joe beat up in like 90 seconds a few weeks back. He looks like a lot like A-Train if he was about six inches shorter and not covered with hair. Joe starts with Daniels as the announcers debate leader boards vs. a list of winners. Daniels doesn’t break clean in the corner but his forearms to the back have almost no effect at all. Joe runs him over and hammers away in the corner to set up the Facewash.

Daniels bails to the floor for a meeting with Robbie as the fans quiet down. Back in and E is tagged in before Joe tags him in the jaw with right hands. Off to Bones for a nice high collar suplex and two. Some running forearms and a running knee to the chest ala Daniel Bryan drop Daniels with ease. E tries to help his partner but Bones double clotheslines them down as well. Robbie trips Bones up from the floor and comes in legally to hammer away in the corner.

We hit the chinlock and the fans are already cheering for Bones. E misses a charge in the corner though and the hot tag brings in Joe to face Daniels. The big boot and backsplash get two on Christopher and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Robbie makes the save but gets speared down by Bones. Joe Muscle Busts Daniels for the pin to advance.

Rating: C. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing that rating a lot tonight. There’s only so much to do in a quick match like this with a basic story of power vs. speed with four guys that have a limited history together. Not a bad match or anything but it was just ten minutes of four guys doing moves to each other with Joe and Bones not really breaking a sweat.

Gunner says the loss wasn’t his fault.

British Invasion says the same thing they said after their match.

Samuel Shaw says he only trusts himself.

We do another draw and there are about twenty fewer pieces of paper in the tumbler.

Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries

This has potential. Spud says he’ll be team captain no matter who his partner is and then Bully is announced for a funny moment. Ray and Spud stare each other down. That goes badly for Spud so he gets a chair to stand on. He talks about being chief of staff…..before quickly agreeing that Ray is captain tonight. The fans chant for Aries but switch to WE WANT SPUD. They get what they ask for but the tag hurts Spud’s hand.

Aries easily takes him down so Bully gives him a huge pep talk and starts a SPUD chant. The Rockstar gets in Aries’ face and slaps him, only to be dropped by a left hand. Ray offers another tag but Spud is scared of the pain so it’s another pep talk. This time Aries takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Anderson to take over in the corner. All four get in and Spud starts to dance. Ray walks to the corner and facepalms, allowing Aries and Anderson to double team Spud.

Bully realizes he’s doing this on his own and Spud gets knocked down again. Ray yells at him and gets elbowed in the back of the head by Aries, knocking him face first into….uh….a certain place on Spud. This just makes Ray even angrier so he breaks out of a Mic Check and kicks Anderson in the face. Spud does Ray’s pose so Ray pulls him to the corner by the ear and hits a big elbow drop for two on Anderson. Ray to Hebner: “You know what? You count too slow!”

He yells at Hebner in the corner but Earl gets right in Ray’s face to take him into the other corner. Now it’s back to Spud. Taz: “WHY???” Spud drops the same elbow for two and gets in Hebner’s face so Earl slams him down to give Aries a two count. Anderson hits the neckbreaker on the now legal Bully and it’s off to Aries who dropkicks Ray to the floor. A dropkick from the top to the floor and a regular missile dropkick get two for Aries but Ray slams him down and tells Spud to go up top.

Ray: “WHAT’S UP???” Spud: “I’M UP!” The headbutt connects but Ray knocks Spud down when he slaps him in the chest before GET THE TABLES. Spud falls down trying to pull the table out and Ray is disgusted. “GET THE TABLE IN ALREADY!” Anderson comes over and puts his arm around Ray as Spud is still dealing with the table.

Aries is about to go up for What’s Up but Hebner won’t let him. Spud tries a sneak attack on Anderson but is thrown into Ray’s crotch for his efforts. Ray: “YOU SOB!” The fans rightfully think this is awesome and there’s the running corner dropkick from Aries. He loads up the brainbuster but Spud rolls Aries up and pulls the trunks halfway off for the pin. The look of shock on Ray’s face is priceless.

Rating: A+. This was the funniest match I’ve seen in years and maybe even ever. They kept the joke going the entire time and had a WAY more entertaining match than they would have had if they played it straight. This is something WWE needs to learn from. Rather than just having a guy be designated as a comedy guy and having him do strange things while the commentators tell you it’s funny, this was four guys who can be funny BEING FUNNY.

Instead of just doing the same bits over and over again (like Young stripping or the Cobra), they did different stuff that we hadn’t seen before and had a very funny match as a result. Comedy can be done, but let these funny people come up with it themselves rather than having them perform something a writer came up with. If they were good enough actors/performers to do what a writer came up with, they would be in Hollywood making way more money.

This was a blast and a good lesson in how to do comedy wrestling. The tagline One Night Only applies here too: if they did this every week on TV it would stop being anywhere near as funny in like the third week. Do it every now and then instead of the same bits every week and it’ll work far better.

The following two matches are listed in different orders on various sites. This is the order they aired in on the version I have and I don’t think it makes any real difference.

Wolves vs. Beer Money

Eh sometimes it’s better to screw believability and just let two awesome teams have a match. Roode vs. Richards to get things going with a nice technical wrestling sequence. Bobby gets the better of it and cranks on a headlock but Edwards gets a blind tag and dropkicks Roode in the side of the head for two. Off to Storm who gets dropkicked down, allowing the Wolves to take over on the arm. Storm hadn’t turned heel when this was taped so the fans are way into him.

Back to Roode who gets headbutted into the corner and then forearmed in the face by Richards. Storm gets caught in the same corner and kicked down, giving us the gay sex position spot. Back up and Storm kicks the heck out of Richards from the apron and Beer Money takes over. A double back elbow gets two on Davey and we hit a chinlock with Storm’s knee in his back. In one of the few amusing bits of commentary all night, Tenay asks Taz about his time teaming with Raven. Taz: “What about Raven?” They also get into a discussion of how Taz is always commentating with guys named Mike.

Roode comes back in for a chinlock of his own but Davey easily fights up. We get one of the stupidest spots I’ve ever seen as Richards throws Roode to Storm, who catches Bobby in a front facelock for no apparent reason. Then Davey kicks Storm in the face, causing Storm to DDT Roode. Spots like that where they might as well draw you a picture that says “YEAH, WE PLANNED THIS BEFOREHAND” drive me crazy.

Davey finally makes the hot tag to Edwards who cleans house with chops in the corner. The reverse tornado DDT from Storm is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two. An enziguri into a German from Davey gets two on Storm with Roode making the save. Everything breaks down and Davey takes the Backstabber from James and a spinebuster from Bobby. Beer Money hits the double suplex and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Edwards fights out of DWI though and Richards comes back in with a missile dropkick. Beer Money is sent to the floor for a double dive, followed by the top rope double stomp to Storm for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s probably a stretch. The match was good but it certainly wasn’t as great as you would expect from these teams. It made me think of the Hart Foundation vs. the Brainbusters back in 1989. It sounds amazing on paper but when you see it live it’s just a good but not really memorable match. Also it would have been a better choice to put Roode and Storm in the battle royal as they’re far more likely to win than either of the Wolves.

They shake hands post match.

Spud celebrates his win in the back and says he was the team captain. Ray comes in and Spud immediately shakes his hand and asks how the captain is doing. Ray: “YOUR HEAD WAS IN MY NUTS FOR HALF OF THE MATCH! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN…..I’LL GIVE YOU A BIG OLD KISS BECAUSE WE WON!” Ray kisses Spud on the cheek and gives him a huge hug.

Aries says he’s speechless.

Kazarian/Curry Man vs. Eric Young/Ethan Carter III

For those of you that don’t remember, Curry Man is a masked man in red and yellow with a plate of curry on his head, based on an ad for curry in India. He’s usually played by Christopher Daniels and I believe he is here as well, even though you can see some hair sticking out of the back of the mask. It’s a brawl to start with Young and Curry Man being left alone in the ring. Curry and Young hug each other before slugging it out. They hug again then trade about six standing switches before hugging a third time.

Kaz gets sick of it and suggests a mid match change: Young and Curry Man team against Kaz and Carter. Apparently it’s going to be allowed but Eric and Curry Man stay on the apron. Carter rolls up Kaz for two but Eric makes the save, despite that not even being his original partner. The referee makes them go back to the original partners and more confusion ensues.

Carter finally chokes Curry Man to take over and a slam gets two. Young comes in to save Curry Man and gets yelled at by Ethan. “YOU’RE MY PARTNER!” Eric: “I KNOW IT SUCKS!” A clothesline puts Curry Man down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. Tags bring in Eric and Kaz and we get a crisscross. Young takes over with a flying forearm and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. Carter and Curry Man fight to the floor as Young rolls up Kaz for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not really even a match but it was one of the more bearable Eric Young comedy affairs that I can remember seeing. At least this time the story made sense and it wasn’t the same annoying Young stuff over and over again. It’s also a nice take on the random pairings idea which makes this easier to sit through.

Carter lays out Eric postmatch.

The Wolves are more excited about beating Beer Money than going to the gauntlet.

Abyss/Samuel Shaw vs. Zema Ion/Jesse Godderz

Godderz poses for Shaw to start but Abyss tags himself in to scare Jesse to death. Ion comes in and shouts BOOM a lot, much to Abyss’ annoyances. A cross body has no effect whatsoever and Abyss slams him down with one arm. About twenty chops from Ion have about the same effect and Abyss runs him over with a clothesline.

Off to Shaw who the fans call creepy. Back to Jesse who elbows Shaw in the face but gets slammed down with ease. Abyss tags himself back in to a nice reaction and cleans house on Godderz. Samuel turns his back on Abyss but gets dragged back into the ring. Godderz and Ion take over with some double teaming and a jawbreaker staggers Shaw. He takes time to go stare at Christy though, allowing Ion to hit a flip dive for two.

Zema misses a middle rope moonsault and it’s back to Abyss for some house cleaning. Jesse actually stops him with a clothesline but Shaw is busy going after Christy. He gets her in the corner and the referee just lets this happen, only to have Abyss make the save. Christy bails so Shaw hammers on his partner. That goes as well as you would expect but the Bro Mans actually knock Abyss to the floor. Shaw grabs the standing choke on Godderz for the submission a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here but at least they didn’t go for a third comedy match out of six. Shaw and Christy have a limited shelf life and hopefully it’s done after the latest gimmick match between Shaw and Anderson. Jesse and Ion were just there to bounce off Abyss and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ethan Carter III takes credit for the win. Spud and Magnus (on the phone) come up and say that Dixie is proud. Magnus implies that they should let him win the gauntlet but after he leaves, Carter suggests that he should win. Spud thinks he might be the winner.

Lei’D Tapa/Gail Kim/Alpha Female vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Just a filler here in an elimination match. Tapa imitates Velvet’s entrance to a ton of booing but Velvet calms the people down by doing it again. Sky charges at Tapa but is lifted in the air for a choke. Off to Gail for a clothesline but she gets caught by Madison’s mat humper. Gail spanks Tapa for some reason and yells at her for not having her back. The announcers talk about having spotted dick at lunch today and the match just keeps going.

Alpha comes in for a slam and some forearms to Madison’s chest. She misses a bad looking splash though and it’s back to Velvet who finally knocks Alpha down. Madison and Gail fight to the floor as Velvet bulldogs Alpha down. Chris Sabin comes out to distract the referee though and gets in an argument with Velvet. Sky low bridges him to the floor, kicks Alpha in the head and hits In Yo Face for the elimination.

Gail rolls Velvet up for a fast pin but the referee is with Sabin and misses Madison spearing Gail down. Tapa runs Madison over for an easy pin and we’re down to Gail/Tapa vs. ODB. The numbers game quickly catch up to her but Gail wants to get the glory. Tapa gets tired of it and shoves Gail into a rollup to get us down to one on one. Gail nails Tapa and ODB hits the Bam for the final pin.

Rating: D. There was no reason at all for this to be elimination rules. There were a few too many things going on here but they still could have wrapped the whole thing up in a single fall. It also doesn’t help that all of these stories have already been wrapped up two months before this show aired.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Basically it’s a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals and the winner getting $100,000. We start with Davey vs. Eddie because that’s how random draws work. Feeling out process to start until the start slugging it out with strikes. Davey gets the better of it with his kicks until Samuel Shaw is in at #3. The Wolves actually keep fighting until Shawn breaks it up and chokes Edwards in the corner.

Edwards comes back with some chops and the Wolves start double teaming. Davey sends Shaw into a running knee to the face but here’s Rockstar Spud at #4. His strategy: kick Shaw low and wrap himself around the ropes for dear life. The Wolves lock eyes onto Spud before splitting up and stomping on both Spud and Shaw. Spud tries to eliminate Shaw by himself as the Wolves just chuckle from the corner. Shaw comes back with a crotch claw and here’s Douglas Williams at #5.

Spud keeps switching ropes to hold onto as we get into the standard battle royal formula of people pairing off and brawling against the ropes without trying to eliminate each other. The Wolves drop Douglas with a double back elbow as Spud is running out of places to hide. Abyss is in at #6 as these times are very suspect. He clotheslines everyone in sight, which doesn’t include Spud who has disappeared. Abyss easily tosses out Edwards and Davey suffers the same fate about fifteen seconds later. There goes Williams and we’re down to Abyss and Shaw on their feet. There’s a Black Hole Slam to set up the elimination as Spud tries to sneak up on Abyss. The monster chokes him up against the ropes as Bully Ray is in at #7.

Spud tries to interfere again but gets thrown over. He hangs on and skins the cat though, only to fall down when trying a double clothesline. Ray and Abyss have the real fight with Abyss nailing the chokeslam. Ray is right back up though as Spud shakes the ropes like the Warrior. A cross body has no effect either but here’s Eric Young at #8 to distract from Spud’s ineptness.

Eric hammers away on everyone in sight but Ray fights back. The Bully scares Spud to the floor but under the bottom rope so everyone is still in. Ray yells at Spud for not helping him get rid of Eric and here’s Ethan Carter III at #9. Eric goes right for him but Spud gets in a few shots from behind to give Ethan control. Spud tries to jump Bully again and gets shouted down into the corner. The five guys in the ring don’t do much else until Bad Bones comes in at #10.

Bones slugs away at everyone in sight which fits his brawling style. Again this goes nowhere until Samoa Joe is in at #11. Much like everyone else, Joe hammers away on everyone in sight upon entering the ring. A nice suplex puts Carter down before Joe settles in on Bad Bones. That doesn’t last long as Joe easily backdrops Bones out and it’s off to Joe vs. Bully. Spud actually eliminates Bully on his own but Joe wacks Spud in the head to put him on the mat.

Magnus comes out to give us a final grouping of Magnus, Joe, Spud, Abyss, Carter and Young. Joe and Magnus immediately go at it with Joe getting the early advantage but getting low bridged out to the floor to get us down to five. Abyss gets gang eliminated but Spud charges at Young and flies over the ropes to the floor. Eric dropkicks both Carter and Magnus down as things speed up. He gets both of them up for something resembling a double Death Valley Driver but gets crotched on the top and punched out by Magnus. Carter uses the distraction to eliminate Magnus for the win.

Rating: D+. This was almost every battle royal that they’ve ever had on this series. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a show like this as battle royals only have so many stories available. Spud was funny and him eliminating Ray put a good cap on their events, but this show exists in a vacuum so it’s not like this is going to mean anything long term.

Carter gets the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of the more entertaining One Night Onlys but it wasn’t great throughout. The Ray/Spud tag match was one of the most entertaining matches I’ve seen in years and the Beer Money vs. Wolves match was a very solid match in its own right. The one thing that sticks out to me more than anything though is how different this was from Impact.

Matches had time to play out, there were no swerves or heel authority figures dominating things, and no randomly thrown in gimmicks. It was VERY nice for a change and a good example of what TNA is capable of when they stop taking themselves so freaking seriously. Compare this to Sacrifice where a total of nothing happened and the show was horribly boring.

Also, the fact that this was $15 for the HD version is a big factor. For $15, this was a very solid way to spend two and a half hours watching wrestling, especially if you need a break from the WWE Network. The whole series of shows is far better than anything else you get from TNA and are actually worth checking out if you have nothing better to do.

Results
British Invasion b. Gunner/Chris Sabin – Top rope elbow to Sabin
Samoa Joe/Bad Bones b. Robbie E./Christopher Daniels – Muscle Buster to Daniels
Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray b. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries – Rollup to Aries
Wolves b. Beer Money – Top rope double stomp to Storm
Eric Young/Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man/Kazarian – Rollup to Kazarian
Abyss/Samuel Shaw b. Jesse Godderz/Zema Ion – Standing choke to Godderz
ODB/Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – Bam to Tapa
Ethan Carter III won a battle royal last eliminating Magnus

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’ll head over to TNA for one of their Triple Crown Champions: Chris Sabin.

Sabin would debut in 2000 and hang out in the indies for a few years before joining upstart company TNA in 2003. Less than a month after debuting he would receive an X-Division Title shot in a three way on May 14, 2003.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Amazing Red

Red is defending. Everyone goes after everyone to start and all three guys hit armdrags. Red misses a running shooting star press and it’s a three way standoff. Lynn hits a quick dropkick to the side of Sabin’s head but Red makes the save, triggering a fight between the two of them. Red sends him into the corner with a hurricanrana followed by a dropkick in the corner. Lynn comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two with Chris making the save.

It’s Sabin vs. Lynn now with Sabin scoring with a backbreaker of his own for two. Red replaces Jerry in the two man fight and takes Sabin down with something resembling a DDT for a near fall of his own. This brings out XXX (Christopher Daniels, Low Ki and Elix Skipper) to watch the match from ringside. Red hurricanranas Sabin off of Lynn’s shoulders and gets clotheslined down by Jerry for two more. Sabin backdrops out of a cradle piledriver but gets caught in a quick German suplex for another near fall.

Chris catches Lynn in a sitout powerbomb but Red breaks up the pin with a dropkick. Red can’t get a sunset bomb on Chris so he kicks him in the face for two instead. We get a double reverse DDT with Sabin DDTing Red and Lynn DDTing Sabin to put all three guys down. Lynn puts Sabin in a figure four headscissors and Red puts the same thing on Jerry. Well where would a threeway be without doing the same ideas that ECW started ten years earlier?

Everyone lets go of their holds for no apparent reason other than to get to the next spot. Red takes Lynn down with a tornado DDT but Sabin kicks his head off before the champion can dive. Instead it’s Sabin with the dive onto Jerry but Red dives on both of them for good measure.

Back in and Jerry drops a leg on the back of Sabin’s head but Red breaks up the pin with a Swanton. A MuscleBuster gets two on Red with Jerry making the save this time. Lynn’s cradle piledriver gets two on Sabin and everyone is spent. Red gets two on Jerry via a slingshot sunset bomb but XXX interferes with Skipper laying out Red and putting Sabin on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Pick almost any three way match you’ve ever seen over the years and this is about the same thing. It’s nothing I haven’t seen a dozen times and I can’t stand how contrived so many of the spots look. Sabin would turn heel as a result of the ending but that was part of the big mess for TNA in 2003.

Sabin would stick around the division for a long time and fight for the change at being champion again, including in a fourway on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane vs. Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles

Styles is a mystery man, revealed about twenty seconds after Russo wouldn’t reveal him. This is his first of about 85 returns to the X-Division. It’s a wild brawl to start as thankfully we don’t have tags in this. Shane and Styles are the only ones left in the ring and AJ does that sweet drop down into a dropkick spot, only to be taken down by a springboard missile dropkick from Sabin.

Skipper kicks Sabin down for two but Shane is back up with forearms. A wheelbarrow suplex puts Skipper down again as the fans are all over Shane. AJ pulls Michael out to the floor but gets suplexed down for his troubles. Skipper slams Sabin for two but gets caught in an Edgecution for two for Sabin. Chris escapes a rollup from AJ and gets two of his own off a springboard tornado DDT.

Shane is back in with a belly to belly on Sabin but gets crotched by AJ, allowing Elix to walk the ropes into a hurricanrana to send Michael to the floor. AJ sends Sabin to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Skipper down as well. Shane loads up a superkick to Sabin, only to have AJ springboard in with a sunset flip, only to roll through into the Styles Clash for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Nice insane X-Division match to show off what the X-Division was all about. Styles winning was pretty obvious but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. He’s one of those guys you have to showcase on the first TV show and they did a great job at it here. It’s also still weird to see Sabin as just another guy.

Sabin would get a title shot at Turning Point 2004 but lose to a pair of brass knuckles. He would fight champion Petey Williams again in a triple threat Ultimate X match the next month at Final Resolution with AJ Styles rounding out the trio.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

Williams is the longest reigning champion at this point. Basic three man match to start with no one having a long advantage. There’s just this and the world title left though so they have a ton of time. They double team Petey for a bit and Sabin hits a running dropkick in the corner. Sabin and Williams head to the floor so AJ dives on both of them to take them out. Why mess with what works?

Back into the ring and Sabin and AJ get up on the top where Sabin jumps up and dropkicks AJ into the structure. Sabin has a clear run at the belt but D’Amore pulls him down. That gets him tossed but lets Williams get the advantage due to the distraction. He sends AJ into the railing and beats up Sabin in the ring. Sharpshooter goes on Sabin so AJ climbs across the ropes, only to have Williams let Chris go and make the save. This is better than it sounds.

AJ gets put in the Tree of Woe and Petey stands on his balls so he can sing O Canada. That’s a signature spot actually despite how weird it sounds. AJ dropkicks him down and Sabin is back in now. Petey makes a run at the belt but Sabin is on AJ’s shoulders so Petey grabs a Doomsday rana to put everyone down. Everyone not named Sabin goes up and it’s time to play some chicken.

Petey wraps his legs around the ropes and Sabin pulls down AJ like an idiot. Petey can’t get the belt and falls off to put all three guys on the mat. Sabin goes up but has to snap off a rana to take AJ down. In ANOTHER awesome spot, Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer but Sabin counters into the Cradle Shock but Petey counters into a reverse DDT but AJ hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT to Petey who reverse DDTs Sabin at the same time.

Before they have time to be sore AJ goes up and in what was a highlight reel moment for a long time, Sabin gets a dropkick to AJ’s chest to send him flipping forward and crashing down flat on his back. He jumped to do it but the bump looked great. Styles and Williams fight up the scaffold and Williams bends AJ’s arm through the scaffold which is a new move, especially when AJ HANGS BY HIS ARM. FREAKING OW MAN!

Cradle Shock puts Petey down and it’s time to go up. AJ saves into a Styles Clash attempt by Sabin pulls on the arm. AJ is like screw it and pulls him up into a powerbomb and then the Clash to put everyone down again. Styles goes for the belt but his bad arm drops him down and Petey pops up for a Destroyer to kill AJ dead.

Down goes Sabin to a tornado DDT and it’s time for the Destroyer again. That doesn’t work and a Border Toss into the buckle has Petey more or less dead again. Sabin and Williams are both up before Styles and both climb, wrapping their legs around the ropes. They get the belt down but AJ is like boys, let me show you how it’s done. He gets a springboard off the ropes and pulls it out of the air to get his fourth X Title. SWEET ending.

Rating: A. Somehow this was better than the tag title match. This should be TNA’s answer to the TLC match but they’ve managed to turn it into a throw on match. Anyway, awesome match here as they let three guys go out there and just do it which is the right thing to do. Great match and totally fun the entire time. AJ is awesome. What a shock.

Sabin was always a part of the World X Cup tournaments, often captaining Team USA. One of these matches had its finals at Sacrifice 2006.

World X Cup Final Round: Gauntlet Match

All sixteen participants in the match are in this. It’s a two minute starting period followed by one minute intervals after that. It’s over the top rope eliminations until we get down to one on one when it becomes a singles match. The teams that make it to the final match receive two points apiece and the winner of the match gets an extra three. If the two finalists are from the same team, their team receives seven points and automatically wins the tournament. In the event of a tie, the captains will face each other in a singles match….on Impact.

We start with Minoru Tanaka (Japan) and Puma (Mexico). Tanaka offers a handshake to start but as Puma shakes it, Tanaka Mists him to take over. A springboard missile dropkick puts Tanaka down and an enziguri staggers him. Tanaka gets in a suplex but covers out of instinct. #3 is Petey Williams (Canada) and he joins forces with Minoru to double team Puma. That lasts a good 20 seconds before Petey turns on Puma.

#4 is Chris Sabin (USA) and things speed up again. Sabin whips all three guys into the corner but only hits Tanaka with a forearm. A double clothesline takes the other two down and Hiroki Goto (Japan) is #5. He hits a spin kick to take down Sabin and teams up with his teammate to clean house. #6 is Incognito (Mexico) who seems to wrestle in slow motion. He knocks Petey to the floor and hits a suicide dive but neither guy went over the top so everyone is still in. Before I forget, Incognito is currently known as Hunico in WWE.

#7 is Johnny Devine (Canada) and he puts Incognito down in the corner for some running knees. #8 is Sonjay Dutt (USA) to continue the pattern the entries have taken. All eight are still in at the moment. The Americans double team Williams but Devine makes the save. And never mind as Dutt snaps off an inverted rana to send him flying. In at #9 is Black Tiger (Japan) and he runs over Dutt very quickly.

Tiger hooks an ankle lock on Williams but Devine makes the save. Magno is #10 (Mexico) and he comes in with some springboard flips. It’s impossible to tell what’s going on as there are too many people in the ring at the moment. Eric Young (Canada) is #11 as two people go through the ropes, as in not being eliminated. We get a LOUD Eric chant as we’re told that Incognito and Dutt are both out with Dutt having an injured ankle.

#12 is Alex Shelley (USA) and house is cleaned. He hits a complicated double team move on the Canadians and a spin kick Devine. Sabin and Devine go out in a big rush of offense as Liger (Japan) is #13 and the final member of Team Japan. Magno charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Liger and they go to the top rope. Liger gets superplexed down and Shocker (Mexico) is #14. Magno charges at someone and is backdropped out.

Black Tiger goes up top but gets powerbombed down and eliminated as we see Tyson Dux (Canada) in at #15. Dux sends Puma to the apron but he gets back in. Shelley throws out Goto and Jay Lethal (USA) is #16 and the final entrant. By my count we have eight people left: Young, Minoru, Shelley, Lethal, Puma, Dux, Liger, Shocker and Williams. Lethal dropkicks Minoru out. That leaves Japan with just Liger.

Shocker charges at Dux and gets monkey flipped to the floor. Dux and Young go at Liger and get palm strikes to the chest for their efforts. They combine to eliminate Liger, eliminating Japan entirely from the gauntlet and the competition. Lethal immediately puts Young out and we’re down to five: Dux, Lethal, Shelley, Williams and Puma. There goes Dux and we’re down to four. The Americans double team Williams but Shelley misses a charging knee to eliminate himself. Lethal goes to the apron but jumps back in, right into a spin kick from Puma to get us down to two.

Puma hits a fast brainbuster and remember that it’s now a regular one on one match. The Canadian Destroyer hits out of NOWHERE and the Canadians in the form of Williams wins, meaning it’s Williams vs. Sabin for the Cup on Impact (Sabin would win the match and the Cup).

Rating: B-. That’s as high as I can possibly go with this. The match wasn’t bad at all but it’s the walking definition of throw A LOT of stuff out there and have them do flips and dives with the hope that the crowd likes it. I don’t really know what else there is to say about this. I don’t see the need in having it go over to Impact and not ending it here, but I guess it gave them something else to do on Thursday. Not a bad match, but it was only going to be able to be so good if that makes sense.

Soon after this, Sabin would start chasing the X Title again, finally winning it in early 2007. Here’s one of this biggest title defenses, in an Xscape match at Lockdown 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

 

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

 

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

 

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

 

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

 

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

 

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

 

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Sabin would soon hook up with Alex Shelley as the Motor City Machine Guns and take the tag divsision by storm. Their main goal was of course the Tag Titles and they would receive one of many shots at Turning Point 2009 in another three way match.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

The Guns would keep getting closer and close to the belts over the years. They would also develop a major rivalry with Beer Money, culminating with a match for the vacant Tag Team Titles at Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

The rivalry with Beer Money wasn’t over though as the teams entered into a best of five series for the titles. Naturally the teams split the first four matches, setting up a showdown over the belts at the Whole F’N Show on August 12, 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

 

This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.

 

Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.

 

Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.

 

Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.

 

Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.

 

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.

Unfortunately that’s about it for Sabin for nearly two years as he would tear his ACL twice in a row, putting him out for most of 2011, most of 2012 and part of 2013. Sabin would come back in May and win the X Title again, only to cash it in for a shot at Bully Ray and the World Heavyweight Title at Destination X 2013.

TNA World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Bully Ray

After the big match intros Ray gets right in Sabin’s face and talks trash but Sabin doesn’t blink. Ray goes to the corner but Sabin gets right in Ray’s face and says he’s going to win the title. Ray shoves him down and we’re ready to go. The champ grabs the leg to start as the fans are entirely behind Sabin. Chris fires off some kicks to the ribs and no sells a chop to the chest. Another chop sends Chris back but a third fires him up.

Ray offers him a fres kick to the ribs before chipping the tar off his skin. Sabin’s chest is BLOOD red but says bring it on. Now it’s Sabin firing off strikes to the face and chest before pounding away in the corner, only to have Ray go after the knee. Here are the Aces for backup as Sabin is laid out on the stage. Cue the Mafia who are somehow free as we take a break.

Back with Ray working over the leg and yelling at Rampage Jackson. It’s basically a lumberjack match now with the Mafia running interference when the Aces try to get involved. Ray hooks a leg lock and kicks at Sabin’s back while unhooking Sabin’s boot. A chop stops Sabin’s comeback bid and there goes the knee pad as well. Ray hits a Hennig neck snap on the leg and talks a lot of trash. Now he yells at the Mafia but stops to kick Sabin’s knee again.

Ray mocks Hogan’s hand to the ear which is always good for some heel heat. He pounds on the knee even more as the methodical offense continues. A chop to a downed Sabin makes him scream and Ray thinks he should take off the other knee brace. Ray whips him across the ring but Sabin collapses halfway there.

Instead he drills Sabin with a superplex for two but Chris fights back. He somehow gets up top for a missile dropkick but the referee goes gets bumped. Anderson tries to come in but the Mafia is there to stop the bikers. Ray got a hammer in there somehow but Sabin kicks him down. Everyone else is gone and Sabin blasts Ray in the head with the hammer for the pin and the title at 18:40.

Rating: B. This was all about the drama but the action was pretty solid as well. The ending really did surprise me which isn’t something that happens all that often anymore. There’s no way Sabin is going to be a long term champion due to his knee injuries but it’s still an awesome moment which is exactly what they were shooting for. It’s not like Ray was doing exceptional business or anything anyway. Ray being overconfident here was a fine story and it’s the perfect way to get the fans to go nuts. Well done stuff here.

Overall Sabin is a guy who has shown a lot of talent throughout his career. He’s a step above most of the other X-Division guys and holds the record for most X-Division Title reigns with (as of February 2014) eight. Sabin’s world title run didn’t last long, but it’s cool to see a guy work his way up the card and get to the top of the company like he did.

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