Victory Road 2009
Date: July 19, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

The Main Event Mafia is still around but it’s not what it used to be. Angle vs. Foley is the main event for the title with Angle defending, which makes me think little about the upcoming match. This card looks pretty weak, although we have AJ vs. Nash for the Legends Title and Joe vs. Sting. It just lacks a spark for me, but better days were coming soon for TNA. And then they just left but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

The video is about starting the road to victory and it’s as generic as the rest of them have been. Seriously, TNA needs to work on its opening videos BADLY.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Tara

Tara is champion here and showed up recently, more or less hating the Beautiful People just because I guess. She also took the title on Impact about a month ago so this is the rematch. They’re scared of the spider which I can’t blame them for since I have a spider bite on my arm that refuses to heal. It just works for her.

 

Of course the announcers can’t think because there are women in front of them. I love that Broken theme. We stall for awhile as they run from the spider. What was the point of that anyway? Is it supposed to be sexy? I don’t want a freaking tarantula anywhere near me. Tara starts in the t-shirt early on and then rips it off which was always hot to me.

 

Then again I’ve always had a crush on Tara so there we go. Tara busts out the Tarantula move which at least makes sense here. West is mostly heel here also. Love starts dominating after some hot girls interference. We get a Bobo Brazil reference that even Tenay doesn’t get. We go old school with a double clothesline spot. I love that move.

 

Skye accidentally sprays hairspray into Love’s eyes but it only gets two because the referee throws the other two girls out. Tara misses a moonsault and Love covers her, but Tara’s foot is on the rope. Doesn’t matter apparently as Love gets the title anyway. Post match Tara superkicks the referee and beats up Love.

Rating: C-. Not bad, but nothing great. The thing here is that the Knockouts at this time were AWESOME with their stuff destroying the Divas. Somehow in a year that’s completely switched but whatever. Anyway, this wasn’t anything great but it’s certainly not bad. It did the job it was supposed to do though so I have to give it that.

We run down the card, including BOTH tag title matches. Dang I hated that period.

We go to the Main Event Mafia’s dressing room where Kurt says not to expect a quality match from him tonight. Well at least he’s being honest. Instead he’s going to destroy Foley as soon as possible. Angle says if the Mafia doesn’t get a clean sweep by pins or submissions he’ll fire them all.

We get a video about Morgan vs. Daniels which wasn’t a feud but more a way to give Morgan another PPV win against a big name. Daniels wasn’t much at all here but he was AJ’s friend and since Morgan wanted to be in the Mafia he helped them beat up AJ. There’s your match.

Matt Morgan vs. Christopher Daniels

What is up with Morgan’s robe? He just doesn’t need it as it looks stupid. Oh sorry there’s no Christopher anymore as apparently he’s lost his first name. Check under AJ’s bed. Morgan dominates to start as I think we’re looking at a glorified squash here. Daniels has a mustache here and it looks pretty stupid. Daniels hits a suicide dive but it doesn’t even knock Morgan down.

 

What is the big deal with Daniels? He just isn’t anywhere near as great as he’s made out to be. He just isn’t. A springboard split legged moonsault FINALLY puts him down for like 4 seconds. That more or less ends Daniels’ offense for the time being. I like that rotating elbow thing that Morgan does to people in the corner.

 

Those would have to freaking hurt. Morgan works on the knee which is allegedly hurt but it’s kind of on again/off again which is annoying as all goodness. Daniels does some small stuff but of course it doesn’t mean much. Daniels counters a chokeslam but he can’t hit the BME because of the leg. The Carbon Footprint and the Hellevator end it.

Rating: D+. It was just a glorified squash like I thought it would be. Morgan was never in anything close to trouble and we never had any reason to believe that he would be, which isn’t good at all. Daniels looked like a jobber here, as he continues to be thought of as nothing important at all in this company.

Dr. Stevie says he’s been working on this forever so he’s going to make this no disqualification. Sure why not. Were we just supposed to believe we didn’t recognize this guy or something? Was that supposed to be what they were going for because if that’s it, TNA is stupider than I thought they were.

We recap Stevie vs. Abyss, which is based on Richards being his therapist and trying to cure him of his addiction to weapons and violence, which was just a bizarre angle that didn’t work for me in the slightest. And then Abyss hated him for no explained reason. Also Stevie was his therapist for ten years apparently, so back in the day when he was chilling with Raven in WCW, he was a psychiatrist? SERIOUSLY? Oh and he kidnapped Abyss’ girlfriend or whatever, Lauren, who was gorgeous to say the least.

Abyss vs. Stevie Richards

I’m in awe of how stupid this angle and character is but whatever. Abyss has just started wearing his current entrance attire that makes him look like a homeless man. Stevie has some kind of pipe or something and beats on Abyss with it. They continue to confuse me by calling him Stevie Richards and acknowledge his background in wrestling.

 

I’m not even going to rant about how stupid that is but whatever. Again we’re told how great Abyss can be. And again we ignore that he’s a former world champion. Are they ashamed of that or something? They say AJ is a former world champion here even though he had only won NWA Titles at this point.

 

I really hate that freaking clapping Abyss does. It’s stupid when Christian does it but it’s just freaking idiotic when Abyss does it. We head into the crowd so we can kill off some time to go along with the brain cells. Seriously, what is the appeal of the monster being all child-like? Is that supposed to be interesting or funny or something?

 

I’d assume it’s based off of being ironic or something but in order for irony to work it needs to be interesting which this just flat out isn’t. Since it’s TNA, of course Stevie starts bleeding. That’s a real problem with TNA today: they think blood makes a match better. Blood can help a match, but only when it’s done both in moderation as well as properly.

 

TNA has a real issue with it as they do it so often that it loses all effectiveness. The fans are insane and rather annoying here, wanting Stevie to get hurt more and more. Somewhere a man named Lee is crying. And now it’s chair time because we need to kill off more time in this match.

 

Just like the previous match, this is a glorified squash. He pulls Stevie up after two from Shock Treatment. Daffney brings Stevie a stun gun that he’s used lately. Instead he runs into a Black Hole Slam. He uses the tazer on him and smoke comes out of it. There’s the pin and I need a stiff drink.

Rating: D. This was even worse than the previous match as this one was even more of a squash. It was about 95% Abyss dominance which isn’t interesting at all. Then again neither of these guys are interesting characters so that likely has a lot to do with it.

The announcers tell us how this is THE most important event in TNA history. I love hyperbole.

Foley gives Beer Money a pep talk. I think they’re going for the Dudleys’ record for most turns in wrestling history. Oh and AJ is here too.

We hear about Team 3D vs. the British Invasion. But I thought Beer Money….OH! This is for the OTHER tag title. How could I be so clumsy? Basically the Dudleys were the TNA tag champions but the Invasion cost them the belts. So they just went and got their own belts. Sure why not?

IWGP Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. British Invasion

The Invasion is Magnus and Williams with Terry on the outside. These are the Japanese belts where the title defenses here aren’t sanctioned by New Japan but TNA just does it anyway because since the belts are Japanese they’re cool.

 

Apparently this is a career changing match because it would cost Team 3D their New Japan bookings. Yeah that’s how Tenay described it. Oh dear. What’s the deal with the wrist holding thing? Is that supposed to mean something? Then he talks about them again and this time throws in how important the pay days are. Great way to get your faces over there Mikey.

 

Doug Williams is completely different here. Today he actually has a personality which makes him far more interesting. D-Von dominates for the most part early on as I can feel the EPICNESS of this being for Japanese tag titles. I just have no desire to watch this match at all.

 

So what if they win the IWGP titles? There are OTHER tag titles to win. That’s what’s idiotic on this. In WWE it made sense where there were two different shows to have tag titles on. This is just stupid, but hey, they’re prestigious right? So is the WWE Title but it’s not defended on TNA television.

 

The Brits take over on Bubba and it’s very standard stuff. He gets out of it with a spear which is a move he doesn’t need to be doing. Then again there aren’t many people that should be. What is the appeal of Magnus? He’s not that good and he’s never on TV but whatever.

 

Bubba hits a Rock Bottom as the Dudleys take over. And now it’s table time. The fans get a solid TABLE chant going. It only lasts a few seconds and Magnus manages to not be able to be thrown over the top correctly. 3D ends Williams. The rest of what would become World Elite comes out and beats down the Dudleys. Never mind that as Team 3D fights them off and puts Bashir through the table.

Rating: D+. So? Like I said earlier, so what? This means very little in the grand scheme of things as there would be other tag titles for them to win. The match was bland as vanilla and since the titles would change in a few weeks on Impact anyway, this wound up meaning nothing at all. I’m bored beyond belief at this point.

We’re going to address the ending in the Knockouts match earlier where Tara’s foot was on the rope. Lauren is with the referee and asks what is going on. He says the decision is final even though it was wrong. He’s going to try to get Tara a rematch though.

Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell

Neither of them are wrestlers, but they’re fighting on PPV anyway. These are both women in the Mafia and they’re fighting over who is the top girl in it. Sharmell is in an evening gown and is Booker’s wife. Sojurnor Bolt is with Sharmell and Kong is with Jenna. Jenna won Survivor so she’s guaranteed a spot on TNA’s roster.

 

Thankfully this would be her last appearance due to pure ineptness. She looked ok but that’s about it. No one knew who she was but why should that stop anyone? She tries to do a sexy entrance but it’s not working. Jenna thinks she’s hot and that’s about all she has going for her. This was voted Worst Match of the Year by Meltzer and that doesn’t surprise me at all.

 

Oh this isn’t going to be fun. When Sharmell is the best worker in it, that’s a BAD sign. Why they didn’t make this a tag with the two girls on the floor is beyond me. Neither of them can do anything and they just kind of run into each other rather than do actual wrestling moves.

 

My problem with these celebrity matches is that it undermines the people that work hard to get to a PPV level, but then again I’m putting too much thought into this. Even the fans are chanting boring. They have managed to tick off a TNA crowd. That’s IMPRESSIVE.

 

The girls on the floor get into it and Jenna is just laying there, not even selling. Well she’s rich so she can get away with that I guess. Oh look, a slap. And more slaps. And I want to shoot whoever agreed to let this happen.

 

Jenna pulls out some of Sharmell’s extensions and it’s still going. Kong hits Sharmell and Jenna grinds on her before pinning her. WOW Meltzer was right on this one. Kong beats Jenna up afterwards due to her making her sit through that mess.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling.

Nash says good things about Kurt and runs down Foley and the guys Foley is with. Nash says if he loses tonight he’ll retire.

Nash wants the Legends Title for the money and AJ wants it because he won it. Yeah that’s it.

Legends Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Nash

The Legends Title is now the Global Title and AJ holds it here. This is back when AJ is the awesome version of himself that was on the rise back through the ranks and would win the world title in a few months. He was more or less considered the best in the world at this point and with good reason.

 

I was one of those people, but Punk was about to turn full Straightedge Messiah and the race was on. AJ hits and Nash runs which is a weird combination. AJ goes for the knees as you would expect. By the way, if a match like this happened in WCW (with AJ being replaced by Benoit or Malenko), the company could have had a fighting chance at the end.

 

Nash goes into his normal stuff but here it works for some reason. Nash was in a groove around this time with the whole in it for the money character trait. It worked very well for him though as that completely fit his character and it came off perfectly.

 

Nash kicks the tar out of AJ and knocks him to the floor where AJ hits his head. The Jackknife is blocked though and even I’m starting to cheer for AJ. He hits the forearm while Nash is sitting on the mat in a cool spot. AJ hooks a weird looking leg lock on Nash which is working quite well. It looks like a highly modified Sharpshooter but it’s working.

 

There’s the forearm which is one of my favorite moves of all time so I love it of course. Pele puts Nash down and West is refusing to believe AJ can lose…even though he’s the heel commentator…..he was new at it I guess. In a very anti-climactic ending, AJ goes for another forearm but Nash shoves the referee at him so AJ has to jump over him. That’s enough for Nash to catch him in a chokeslam for the pin. It came out of nowhere but it’s not horrible.

Rating: B. This really worked for me. AJ was able to make the David vs. Goliath thing work very well but I really do question putting a title on Nash. He wouldn’t hold it long at least but that’s another story. This was a fun match though as the dynamic was there which is usually the hardest part to get.

Lauren is looking for Tara but finds the referee from that match with Madison in the shower. Ok then.

So since Foley wanted a world title shot, he had to give Nash his title shot and Booker and Steiner their title shots. That’s all there is to this.

TNA Tag Titles: Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Beer Money

Now remember that these are the OTHER tag titles. That stupid cruiser thing is back. I do kind of like how the tag belts look. We have to hear how awesome Steiner and Booker are as a super team because they both used to be in big tag teams years ago. So in translation, Axe and Marty Jannetty would be a great team? That sounds like an indy show nightmare.

 

We start off not very slowly here as we come to the realization that Beer Money doesn’t have a chance here. Even though they’re the champions they’re underdogs somehow because being tag champions is beneath being half of the tag champions like 15 years ago. And all companies to this. It’s a problem of modern tag wrestling: the constant throwing together of big names and calling them tag teams is what’s killed tag wrestling.

 

Implying that in their first match a team is the best team in the world is just ridiculous. Also it’s not about a team but two guys being together for one match or so. It’s why guys like Bubba and D-Von suck on their own but are great together: they compliment each other so well and without each other they’re far weaker and not a threat at all…even though Bubba was in the main event of an ECW PPV in a world title shot.

 

Oh look Steiner can throw punches and use belly to belly suplexes. What riveting offense! Storm gets beaten down as he must be used to since he’s been in tag teams for about 90% of his TNA career, of which can also be said of Roode although not as much. Roode gets the hot tag to no heat and hits a Blockbuster which is another of my favorite moves.

 

They hit a combination clothesline/backstabber for two on Steiner. Storm spits beer at Steiner and down goes the referee of course. And then Booker hits the axe kick so Steiner can pin Roode. Somehow they haven’t had the tag belts since.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t great or anything but it was ok I suppose. I hate how they more or less made Beer Money look subservient to a thrown together tag team but such is the way of modern tag wrestling like I got into earlier. This wasn’t anything terribly special but it did its job I suppose. Booker would leave soon enough so the Brits got the tag belts.

Booker and Steiner cut unintelligible promos about being Mafia or whatever.

Joe talks about beating Sting, complete with face tattoo. Also his mentor might be debuting tonight.

We see a recap of Joe joining the Mafia at Slammiversary after being bought off using Jenna Morasca’s money. Sting got thrown out and Joe took his place, setting up this match. This is also about Joe’s mentor and giving us the letters FTW and the number 13 on an orange background aren’t hints at all.

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

So let the countdown to Taz begin. TNA needs to work on their surprises a bit better. Sting’s coat is purple and his attire is red and black. Ok then. We’re going at it early and Joe is FAT here. There’s maybe a foot between the steps and the railing which is weird to see. And we hit the crowd for some brawling.

 

We then stay out there with Sting in control. Joe goes into the steps and his arm hurts now. I’m sure that means no choke out. Joe looks ridiculous and we finally get into the ring for a change. Joe hits a diving elbow through the ropes which gets two. Dang Joe’s tattoo is running again. I love that.

 

Sting is in trouble. Actually he likely isn’t because it’s all a DECEPTION BABY! Sting hits a pinful looking enziguri to take over for a bit. The crowd is somehow dead here. There’s the Scorpion and there’s Taz. Sting, like an idiot, lets go of the hold and Joe goes off for about 8 seconds before Sting beats him right back down. That was idiotic. Joe crotches him on the top rope, then doesn’t hit the Musclebuster but the Clutch to end it.

Rating: D+. This was all about Taz’s debut and then that sucked too. Taz would cut a face promo on Impact and throw this all away but whatever. Taz showed up and then Joe got beaten up again. Was that the plan, because if it was then it sucked. This just wasn’t much at all given who was in there.

Lashley is with TNA.

Foley says he’s not worried about the Mafia and even though he doesn’t match up with Angle that well, but if he can hit his running elbow it’ll work.

We recap Joe turning on TNA at Slammiversary (after destroying them for weeks after they hurt him a few months earlier to have it make even less sense) to cost Foley the world title. Angle cut a deal that said Foley gets his rematch for the Mafia getting two title matches earlier in this show.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mick Foley

Tenay says Foley has finally learned how to put the company ahead of personal accomplishments. And there goes any theory that TNA has a clue about anything for me. Yeah, Mick Foley’s ego is out of control! This was when Angle was in a movie and has a beard which just looks freaking stupid.

 

I actually had issues recognizing him at times. Angle MIGHT weigh 190lbs here. We start with a slow and ground based thing which is very weird to see. This goes on for awhile before Foley takes over and works on the neck. And now he gets thrown into the steps.

 

The Mafia has all the titles at this point so this is TNA’s last chance. The moonsault of course misses as there isn’t much to say here at all. No one buys Foley having a chance so it’s just killing time before we get to the finish here. The referee goes down as it’s sock time. Angle Slam kind of hits for two of course.

 

He drops an elbow on the referee for no adequately explored reason other than for the Mafia to run in I’m guessing. It’s chair time but the sock makes the save. Only in wrestling does that make perfect sense. Elbow hits on the floor and Angle is in trouble.

 

West: “he got his shoulder up in time. It wasn’t even close. Ok I lied it was as close as you could get.” Was there a point to that? The Claw gets two arm drops but here comes Angle. Ankle lock doesn’t work as surprisingly we haven’t had any run ins here. He gets the leg scissor and Foley has to tap. Well that was anti-climactic if there’s ever been an anti-climactic match.

Rating: D+. Like I said, just NO drama here at all. Everyone knew Foley was losing here and Angle never really seemed to be in any real danger. This wasn’t terrible but it felt like a very weak main event. AJ would get the title in two months, but this was all about the Mafia and it wasn’t good as it was just too much. The match was nothing special at all though.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rather weak PPV. There is one good match here and it’s hardly a classic. Other than that it’s just kind of there. This was ALL about the Mafia and it was total overkill at the end. You need to have one guy as a resistance to make the people want to watch. It just didn’t work for me and I wasn’t a fan of last summer. Take a pass here as it’s just a weak PPV overall, although there have been far worse.

 

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Bound For Glory 2010
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

So here it is. This is the show that they have spent MONTHS building to. This is their Wrestlemania and by far their biggest show of the year. We get a new champion tonight and find out who THEY are. Even I’m excited and I’ve made no secret that I’m a big critic of this company. Tonight is the final match for Abyss apparently which I don’t buy at all. Let’s get to it.

Main event is no time limit, no count out and no DQ. That makes me nervous.

There’s and entrance ramp as well as three video screens. The production values are rather solid here, especially by TNA standards.

Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me

Good choice for an opener. Shelley and Max (does it matter?) start us off. Naturally it’s insanely fast paced to start us off. The Guns get all tricky and destroy Max in the corner. A big elbow Poetry in Motion move gets two on Max. The heels are getting dominated here for the most part as we hear a lot about Shelley’s neck.

Double DDT out of the corner to Shelly and he’s in big trouble. Shelley keeps fighting and manages to get out with a big double stomp off the top. Hot tag to Sabin as this isn’t bad at all so far. The Guns and everything else go completely insane and Sabin hits Punk’s springboard clothesline to Jeremy for a close two. Tenay is right that no one has tag wrestling like this.

The Guns are just straight up fun to watch. I’m not sold on making this the opener though as this is something that probably should have been used to fire up the crowd in case they get bored later on. Max gets two and is legit shocked that Sabin kicked out. They go for the DDT again but Shelley makes the save.

Elevated Sliced Bread is blocked and Jeremy takes out Sabin with a big dive. A Piledriver like move is broken up by Sabin at two. Very fast paced match naturally. This is too fast to call. We actually get a tag. Are you kidding me? They set for More Bang For Your Buck but a nice counter sets up a running German off the top by Sabin. Skull and Bones on Max ends this.

Rating: B. Very fast paced and fun match. Do I need to explain this one again? It’s an insanely fast paced tag match to open up a show. That’s PPV 101 but I worry that this might be the high point of the show. We get the awesome Motor City music twice though and the Guns keeping the belts is a good thing so I’m happy.

Tara and Madison go nuts on Christy about hair dye or something. Tara is grateful to Madison for life apparently.

We recap the Knockouts Title situation which I think you all know by now. It’s all about the Beautiful People and that’s about it. This again becomes all about them and nothing else. Keep in mind Mickie James is the referee here.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye vs. Tara

Mickie looks good. I could go without the hardcore country thing though. One fall to a finish here and tags are required. Angelina vs. Madison to start us off. Off to the regular Beautiful People now which is the only match left in that division I suppose. Madison comes in and gets in Mickie’s face but that goes nowhere.

This is another match that is going too fast to really keep track of. Tara vs. Velvet at the moment. How in the world did Hefner think Tara didn’t look good enough for Playboy? Octopus Hold from Velvet to Tara which blows my mind a million ways to Monday. The tagging thing is of course abandoned soon.

Widow’s Peak doesn’t go on as Angelina makes a save. And then she rolls up Velvet with some tights being pulled to give her the title. We get the BROKEN song so I’m very happy. Madison goes off on her and Mickie kicks her all around the ring. So it’s Tara vs. Mickie now? Ok then.

Rating: D+. Pretty much just a mess here and only a way to get the title on the show. This wasn’t much at all but you had five hot women and you get to add Mickie to the division now which is definitely not a bad thing at all as it was dying for some fresh blood. Nothing very good here but I’ve seen worse.

Eric Young babbles about some code. Yeah I don’t care either.

We recap the “feud”. Yeah I don’t care either. Let’s get this over with.

Eric Young/Orlando Jordan vs. Ink Inc

Eric has the TNA rule book while Orlando is in a white suit with a beekeeper mask. And now Eric has fake tattoos or something. I give up. Jordan and Neal start us off because someone has to. Let the gay jokes begin.

Taz recommends that Shannon avoid the crotch of Orlando. I give up. Total meh match here as it was boring on Impact and it’s boring here. This is really just an outlet for Taz to make gay jokes about Orlando which aren’t incredibly funny. Eric gets crotched on the top rope.

Orlando vs. Shannon at the moment. Eric is fooling with the rule book because it’s been a few seconds without “comedy.” We talk about the German broadcast team for no apparent reason. Eric starts cheating by pretending to tag in and Taz is just like “screw it’. Eric tags himself in to fight Orlando. We get a Midnight Rocker reference which makes Taz laugh. Eric causes Orlando to get caught by Shannon for the pin.

Rating: D. Just move on please. I hate comedy matches, especially when they lack comedy.

Jeff says he’s going to win with the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb.

X–Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Jay Lethal

This is the return match apparently from Impact a few weeks ago when Lethal won it in the first place. Non-British tights for Williams here. What would the Bulldog think? Fast paced start until Williams gets a hold on Lethal to take over. And so much for that. Tenay talks about the new tights because that’s interesting I guess?

Apparently his family crest is on it. No mention of Fourtune here which is kind of odd. Williams takes it to the mat and we stay there for awhile. Williams is getting back into the style of hating the X Division style that worked so well for him in the spring and early summer.

Lethal cranks up the speed to make things work a bit better. Taz likes suplexes and you can hear it in his voice. It changes when Williams uses a few of them. He even throws in some analysis of them for fun. Hey he sounds like an analyst. I thought this was 10/10 not 10/31.

Chaos Theory out of nowhere gets two. Dang I love that move. Williams gets all ticked off and takes him up top and sets for a rana. Lethal gets a SWEET counter where he rolls through it perfectly into a sunset flip for the pin to retain. He celebrates in the crowd which is always a nice touch.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but the ending was rather good. This felt like a decent Impact match but it was totally tacked on here with no particular rhyme or reason. Dang I need to stop listening to Shinedown. This wasn’t bad but it was just kind of thrown on there to get the match on the card.

And while he’s in the crowd SHORE attacks him. Like the idiot that he is, he says he’s winning the title and taking it back to Jersey. You know, where Lethal is from.

We recap RVD vs. Abyss which is a bit early on the card I’d think for it. I can’t imagine this is where THEY are revealed. That’s just way too early for it I’d think but who knows? The idea here is RVD isn’t at 100% but he wants revenge no matter what.

Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball here which means anything goes. And remember this is his last match EVER! He brings Janice and Bob, which are the names of Dixie Carter’s parents in what I’d assume is a rib, and puts them on the announce table. Abyss says RVD is done and THEY are coming. And remember this is once a century. You know, like EVERY OTHER DATE.

RVD of course kicks the heck out of him to start to a HUGE RVD chant. Van Dam is in a t-shirt here for some reason. There’s a barbed wire table at ringside. Total dominance so far by Van Dam who is on fire. He gets taken down by an elbow of all things. Given the shirt I’d bet on RVD going into barbed wire.

Chokeslam is countered and of course Abyss eats barbed wire. This would be more effective if we hadn’t seen it just three days ago with bigger stars. And of course he’s up again just a few seconds later, dodging a splash that send RVD into the wire. Abyss busts out a regular table as we talk about THEY.

Trash can to the head of Van Dam as Abyss tries to make a barbed wire platform between the railing and the ring. Oh never mind it’s just a regular table. Abyss winds up on it and RVD hits Rolling Thunder onto it. Cool spot. Too many dead spots here though as we hit a spot and then stop to look for more stuff to use in the next one.

RVD sets up Coast to Coast but gets shoved off and RVD winds up in barbed wire. Sick looking bump. The match more or less stops as the referee is thinking about stopping it. Instead we throw him back into the ring and Abyss gets…nothing. Ok then. Instead we get the Hogan ear taunt.

Van Dam comes back and sends him into the barbed wire board in the corner. Now it’s Abyss in trouble. RVD goes for the Five Star but Abyss moves and RVD has a tummy ache. And now It’s time for Janice. Well of course it is. RVD counters though and gets a pair of shots with Janice to the gut of Abyss and the Five Star. Abyss is bleeding from the mouth.

Rating: B-. Fun hardcore match with everyone beating the tar out of each other. Ok so maybe saying everyone for two people is a stretch but you get the concept. This worked fine for what it was with lots of weapons being used and all that jazz. They’re dragging this angle out for all it’s worth and more though so points for that….I think. Fun match.

Abyss says here WE come. Oh great.

We recap the handicap match with the whole Deception thing. This is the other major angle and Hogan is VERY hurt keep in mind. Yeah I don’t buy it either.

Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe vs. D’Angelo Dinero/Kevin Nash/Sting

Joe vs. Pope start us off. Oh and Joe is fighting for Hulk’s honor despite having zero connection to him. Nothing special so far and we hit the floor. It more or less has broken down with Jarrett fighting Pope and the old guys vs. Joe. And so much for that as we get back to Nash vs. Joe.

The entrance ramp really does look good. Pretty basic match so far. Joe gets beaten on for a good while but FINALLY gets a shot in on Nash to get away. He goes for the tag and there goes Jarrett for your swerve. Nash says I told you and Joe is in trouble. Now it really is 3-1. Jackknife to Joe ends it.

Rating: D+. Just the match that no one cared about to build to the swerve. Pay no attention to the fact that we’ve been building up Sting vs. Jeff for months and now it’s all cool. I’ll allow him an explanation but dude, this was supposed to be the explanation, not more questions. Whatever man.

Anderson says he’ll win.

Here’s 3D for their major announcement. Yep they’re retiring, but they want one more match, and of course they want the Guns. They’re retiring either way. Nice. This is solid I think and it’s good that they’ll retire this way.

We recap Fourtune vs. EV 2.0. If there is ANY justice in the world, EV loses here. Naturally it’s more about Flair vs. Foley than anyone else.

Fourtune says exactly what you would expect them to say. Regular vest for AJ thank goodness.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big time Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living heck out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ FREAKING STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

Music video about the main event.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy has new music. Nothing all that special as again you can barely understand it. He’s called challenger #1. Who exactly is he challenging if no one has the title? Anderson is in gray tights which is odd. It’s 10:33 and we’re just starting. Think they’re cutting this close? No big match intros either which is weird also.

Angle is knocked to the floor and Anderson gets a neckbreaker on Hardy for two. Angle pops in and goes for Anderson’s knee. Big old belly to belly as it’s all Angle here. Then Hardy saves and it’s all Hardy. Little theme going on there. Angle Germans Hardy who Germans Anderson to take both of them over in a cool spot.

It gets two on Hardy as we keep going. 10:37 and no sign of THEY which scares the heck out of me. Hardy sends Angle up and over and might be hurt. I don’t buy it but whatever. Hardy goes over the top in a dive to take out everyone. Back in and Angle is ok, hooking a chinlock on Hardy after a cover gets two.

Running German to Hardy and he’s up seconds later. Ok then. Hey we went a full two hours and 40 minutes before we got a shot of Dixie. Angle is busted open a bit. Angle busts out some Germans on Anderson as Hardy is down. Hardy gets some of the same. Ankle Lock on the face painted one.

Anderson tries to save and winds up in the ankle lock. Angle locks the ankle lock on BOTH of them at once. That looks awesome. Naturally it doesn’t work but it looked cool while it was on. Anderson gets that rolling fireman’s carry slam from the middle rope on Angle so that Hardy can cover both for two.

10:45 now as this has somehow been going 12 minutes. Angle Slam gets two on Hardy. Top rope Angle Slam on Anderson but Hardy gets the cover for two. The fans think this is awesome and it’s not bad. Twist of Fate to Anderson and the Swanton hits. Angle saves into the ankle lock and Hardy is in trouble.

Jeff kicks off and sends Angle into a Mic Check for a VERY close two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets a lot of two counts. Angle is the only one left and hits the moonsault on Hardy for two again as Anderson is still down. Angle and Anderson go at it and block each others’ finishers.

And there goes the referee. Oh blast it. Everyone is down and here comes Eric with a chair. And here it comes. This is what TNA has spent the last 4 months building to. And what a shock: HULK IS HERE! Or at least his music is here. Yep there he is but on crutches. He needs help getting into the ring which I don’t buy.

Hulk looks ticked at Eric who throws the chair out and wipes his hands. Hardy stumbles to his feet on the floor and gets in. Both Bischoff and Hogan have crutches and Hogan gives Jeff his. Angle is up. Hardy pops Angle with the crutch and Hogan points at Jeff. Yes, it appears that Jeff Hardy, the most popular star in the world, is part of They. Twist of Fate to Anderson, and Hardy is world champion.

Rating: B. Ending aside obviously, this was a solid main event. It felt like a big match, but then again I would prefer a singles match for the title. That’s the traditionalist in me talking but if there is a match to end the biggest show of the year, only on very special occasions (this isn’t one of them) should it not be one on one for the world title.

Here comes Jeff Jarrett and Abyss. The fans throw trash in for no apparent reason. Hogan and Abyss hug, and THEY are revealed. Yes, it was Hogan and Bischoff with Hardy all along. RVD comes down and yells at Jeff and is of course laid out. Massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This one took me a very long time to reach as it’s now almost 330 Monday afternoon as I write this. This show, without a doubt, was not boring. The ending was a legit shock and I think lived up to most of the hype, but we’ll get to that later.

As for the rest of the card, there are two important things here. Number one, Lethal vs. Williams was the only standard one on one match. Number two, expect to see a lot less wrestling in the near future. Nothing was incredibly bad, but not a lot really stood out.

What I saw in this card was a great example of an old school WCW card: the opening stuff was great, then the stars come on and things go downhill a bit. For instance, Fourtune loses? Why? I understand the whole heels win at the end so faces have to win something, but dude, Tommy Dreamer beat AJ Styles at the biggest show of the year in 2010. The theory may work fine but when you put it into action that doesn’t mean it works.

And now for the big reason this show has perplexed me so: the main event. The match itself was rather good and considering my disdain for triple threats that’s saying a lot. As for the angle, the best thing I can say about it is that it was shocking. I didn’t see Hardy turning. Hogan and Bischoff I did and I have the LD posts to prove it.

The common issue with the turn is that it makes no sense. It does make sense to a degree but it’s one of those things that you have to suspend a lot of disbelief, think about a lot of things, ignore a lot of things and just accept parts of. That’s rarely good and I don’t think it’s good here.

The big comparison has been to Vince and Austin at Mania 17. Not really as in that it was simple as JR put it: “Steve Austin has sold his soul to the devil himself to win the WWF Title!” There. That’s it. That’s your explanation. There is no conspiracy, there is no hidden meaning, there is nothing but Austin saying he’s not good enough to beat Rock on his own and is taking the shortcut to get what he wants.

This is a huge conspiracy that is going to require a lot of explanation and in which something is going to get fouled up. I’ve said this many times: I don’t want to have to have a pencil and paper and a flow chart to understand an angle. TNA should not be more complicated than Lost.

Now after all that is said, the show was still good I thought. The ending was good. The shock was good. Impact is going to be through the roof for a few weeks. That being said, the real ratings are going to show through in a few weeks. They’ll be most interesting. I was VERY intrigued last night and while I think it came off as a letdown, the PPV has to be viewed as a success, despite Hogan managing to be the focus of the end of ANOTHER major show and angle.

 

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Bound For Glory 2008
Date: October 12, 2008
Location: Sears Center, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s another installment in the biggest series there is for TNA, this time from two years ago. The main event is Sting vs. Joe for the title. We’re 9 days away from the debut of the Main Event Mafia so things are kind of in flux at this point. Other than that there is some decent stuff here, including Jarrett vs. Angle. I guess some things never change. This is an ok looking card on paper. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Chicago and the gangster theme they have tonight. The basic idea of the Mafia is there but they haven’t officially been made yet.

Steel Asylum

The winner gets a title shot later. There are ten men in this: Jay Lethal, Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Curry Man, Shark Boy, Super Eric, Petey Williams, Johnny Devine and Jimmy Rave. This is during the Prince Justice Brotherhood mini-era so I wouldn’t expect anything of quality. You have to climb to the top to escape. The winner gets an X Title shot later on at some undesignated date.

Naturally with 10 guys in there it’s almost impossible to keep track of what is going on. This turns into a mini-handicap match between the Guns and the Prince Justice Brotherhood and given that Eric is the best of the three characters, this is more or less one sided. Now we get a ton of running clotheslines, as in like 15, on various people.

The Guns get a triple suplex on the Brotherhood which at least makes sense from a friendship perspective. This is also during the Lethal/Dutt feud which means we get some shots of Val at her absolute hottest which is saying a lot. This is the living definition of a spot fest as there is no story or anything which is because there are WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE.

This match would work with like 5 people in it. That would work very well but it’s TNA so let’s just double everything because that’s not going to hurt a thing right? There’s a referee on top also which works to an extent but at the same time it makes me think “really?” Everyone busts out finishers as we crank it up a bit.

The Guns take over almost completely and I think they’re heels at this point. Sliced Bread is countered into the Destroyer from Williams. Double Stunner from Shark Boy (Stone Cold that is) on Sabin and Williams as we bust out more finishers including a botched Divine Intervention (over the shoulder Piledriver) on Rave. Curry Man shows off some surprising strength with a gorilla press on Dutt where he throws him into the corner.

He goes up but Lethal and Dutt make the save. In a cool looking spot, Lethal and Dutt hang upside down just by their ankles and slug it out. Translation: Lethal beats the heck out of him but you get the concept. Lethal climbs out on his own to end it as apparently everyone else is taking a nap.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to grade because there’s really no form of flow or stories to them. The best you can do is grade the spots and the ending and in this match both of those were pretty good so this is an ok grade. It’s not a great match or anything really close to it due to the WAY too high amount of people in it, but what can you do about that I guess? Decent match and decent opener though.

We run down the card. Can someone explain this to me? Why do we need to waste time on this?

We go to Cornette’s office where he’s WAY too happy about it being Bound For Glory. Foley, who is brand new here comes in and Cornette tries to get him to come to Impact when they’re live in Vegas. The Beautiful People come in to complain about M&Ms. This is funny stuff with Foley vs. them.

Recap of Beautiful People vs. the three random people they’re fighting.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhyno vs. Beautiful People/Cute Kip

Traci Brooks is referee here and comes out to a cover of Rag Doll by Aerosmith. Just Skye and Love at this point. This is a Bimbo Brawl apparently. You know because 6 person tag is just too hard to say I guess. Kip gets in the face of a Detroit Tiger who is in Chicago just because I guess. ODB and Velvet start us off.

West tries to convince us that Rhyno and Kip are very similar physically. And people wonder why he was replaced. Genders can intertwine here apparently. Basically the Beautiful People keep trying to get various shots in, none of which work. Everyone keeps hiding from Khan other than Kip. Both of them go for chokeslams. She grabs his balls as this is going absolutely nowhere.

Khan is really bad in the ring to put it mildly. Why does ODB think she’s hot? Makeup box to ODB’s head sends her to the floor. ODB spanks herself to get fired up for…a tag. Thankfully the guys come in as the girls just aren’t that good at this point. Fameasser is blocked as Rhyno just stands up and Gores Kip to end it.

Rating: F+. And that’s only for Velvet. This was just boring as all goodness with six minutes of the girls doing nothing, leaving Rhyno as the best person in there. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a bad match that never did anything at all of note. At least it was short I guess.

Consequences Creed says Bashir needs to leave if he hates America so much.

X–Division Title: Consequence Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

We spend like a minute introducing some army sergeant after Bashir is introduced. I get that these people are cool, but why does TNA insist on giving them lots of camera time so often? It’s cool that he’s here, but did he need a full entrance to be the ring announcers for Creed? Creed is billed as the great American challengers I guess. He looks like Apollo Creed from Rocky if that means anything.

Tenay gets way too excited for America here, especially when Bashir is from Minnesota. Brawling on the floor now which gets Sheik two in the ring. The fans do the standard xenophobic chant. Basic match here for the most part. I don’t know if it’s the online video I’m watching or what, but the ring looks huge. Sleeper goes on and Creed is in trouble. Since this is after 1987 though and not a Ziggler match, the hold doesn’t work.

Creed makes his comeback and hits a few moves for two. He hits a jaw breaker and nips up before heading to the top. It takes too long though and the crotch is bruised. A top rope rana gets two and then Bashir gets a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin. Are you kidding me???

Rating: D. Nothing that special here but the ending just completely ends any chance this had of being a good match. You build this dude up as awesome and have the whole army thing going on, and then he loses at the biggest show of the year? Eric Young would win the title two months later. For the life of me I do not get the booking idea here. Do we really need to have the evil foreigner keep the belt here? I mean dude….REALLY?

Foley is with JB, telling his some story about the Cell match. And here are Saed and Kong to see Cornette. Apparently Foley is in charge. The Rock is referenced somehow and this is kind of pointless. Foley suggests a visit from Yerple The Clown, who he calls. I love Foley.

We recap the Knockouts Title match, of which there isn’t much of a story at all. There are two challengers for Taylor Wilde and that’s it.

Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi

Roxxi is in these ugly red plad pants. She would get much better looking with a bit more hair and as a blonde. She and Taylor take out Kong and then go at it themselves. A rollup on Kong gets two for Taylor but Roxxi saves. She then gets her head knocked off by Kong. This isn’t much here but they’re moving out there. These Press off the top gets two for Roxxi.

Kong gets a cross body on Roxxi and gets crushed. Implant Buster gets two as Taylor makes the save. Both small girls are down and Kong goes up top. Taylor kicks her off and after a brief scuffle a German suplex gets the pin to retain for Taylor.

Rating: D. Total Impact match here with like five minutes of stuff here and nothing of note. Taylor should have probably defended one on one with Kong here but that’s neither here nor there I guess. The Beautiful People would rise up as the new contenders soon enough but this wasn’t much at all. Weak match.

AJ comes in to talk to Foley and welcomes him. The Dudleys come in and run down AJ for no apparent reason other than they’re jerks. There are a bunch of masks on the wall for some reason. Bubba is in Foley’s flannel shirt so he gets jokes from Foley. And of course we get ECW and WWE references. Foley gets on them for constantly talking about winning 20 tag titles. Cornette gets back and says nothing of note.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

This is Monster’s Ball and Beer Money have the belts. Steve McMichael of all people is the guest referee. He looks OLD too. The intros here are freaking ridiculous. Basically this is a four way street fight/hardcore match but I’m not sure if the pins have to be in the ring or not. WAY too many people in the ring here.

You know at this point, is Mongo the most successful singles wrestler in there? Ah that’s right Abyss is a former world champion. Not that we’re ever told that anymore or anything though. Bunch of high spots including a tope con hilo from Homicide. We break out the weapons and its really nothing special at all. Homicide has a fork for no apparent reason and stabs D-Von’s head with it.

Abyss is on his anti-weapons thing here. Cheese grater comes out as I feel like I’m on Emeril or something. That doesn’t sound bad actually as I’m a bit hungry. Bubba suplexes Hernandez from the middle rope and the fans want tables. Blockbuster by Roode which makes me smile a bit. Total weapons thing starts up here as Mongo steals the tacks from Storm.

Mongo is FAT. We get a football sequence complete with helmet and football and Beer Money goes down of course. Morgan does a big dive to the floor to take out a bunch of people. This is such a huge mess. Johnny Devine comes out and pops Abyss with a kendo stick a few times. Table and lighter fluid are brought in on the stage. Abyss goes through it off a double chokeslam from the Dudleys.

Homicide in control now. I’ve never seen this ring genius or whatever that he’s supposed to be. Sweet goodness Mongo counts slow. Sit out powerbomb by Hernandez gets two. Elevated Gringo Cutter gets two due to Jackie getting the save. Apparently the Dudleys and Morgan have like died or something. Ah there’s Morgan. Border Toss to Morgan as Bubba brings in a table.

Supermex makes the save for Homicide though as this is probably getting close to the end. Mongo helps lay out the tacks on the table and Hernandez hits a 3D on the table on the tacks but Beer Money runs in to steal the pin.

Rating: B-. It certainly was violent, but it was just a big long weapons match. This is the longest match of the night, getting over twenty minutes. Mongo hurt this a lot as he counted so slowly that it appeared that he was shortchanging everyone with the cadence of his counts. This was pretty good but at the same time it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. Also having 8 guys out there was just too much. Still fun though.

Recap of Booker vs. Christian vs. AJ. This is about respect apparently and is more or less the groundwork for the rise of the Mafia.

Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles

This is a three way WAR apparently. Booker and AJ start while Christian just kind of lets them. That’s rather smart. AJ takes care of this by setting for the forearm but in a perfect movement, backflips into a moonsault instead. If he hadn’t floated over Christian and more or less crashed it would have been even better. Booker vs. Christian now after a briefcase shot from Booker. On Impact he would reveal the Legends Title inside the case.

Booker misses a clothesline and kind of falls down, allowing Christian to hit/walk into a double clothesline. AJ pops up again and hits the springboard forearm to Booker. He gets to show off here with an insane move as he leapfrogs Booker and while in the air backflips over Christian so Christian and Booker collide. All Styles here as he’s just completely awesome at this point.

Axe kick misses and AJ gets a cross armbreaker of all things. I’ve never seen him use that before. Book End gets two. And now, we break dance. Christian hits the jumping elbow from the middle rope (called a forearm by the genius known as Tenay). AJ backflips out of a suplex and in one motion hits a Pele on Booker. He’s absolutely stealing the show here.

Tower of Doom is blocked but AJ misses Spiral Tap. Everyone is down and we go to the corner now off a slingshot. We set up another Tower of Doom spot but AJ fights out of it. He gets caught in a slightly modified Unprettier off the middle rope. Top rope axe kick ends Christian though as Booker gets the pin.

Rating: B-. AJ absolutely stole the show here, blowing everyone away with his insane spots and moving out there. The problem here again became that we had to have people lay around again and the triple man spots didn’t work that well. Still though they kept this moving well enough that it came off rather well. AJ again was the best thing here though.

We recap Jarrett vs. Angle. It’s more or less the same feud but Angle doesn’t like Foley being called a huge acquisition. Foley is the enforcer here which means he stands outside and does nothing of note until the very end.

Kurt is with Lauren (good night she’s gorgeous) and says this isn’t one on one.

Jeff breaks down in tears to talk about what he’s going through at the moment. There is WAY too much emphasis on his daughters here.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle

This is Jeff’s first match in two years and we’re told about his little girls every 9 seconds of course. Angle flips Foley off almost immediately. He’s on the floor for the majority of this match as he’s just an enforcer. Who he’s enforcing against or what he’s enforcing are anyone’s guess but that’s a constant question in wrestling. Big THANK YOU JEFF chant.

Feeling out process to start as Angle tries to embarrass Jeff. I think 2005 did that about as well as possible Kurt. Angle dominates on the mat of course which is what I think everyone expected. He hits a European Uppercut in the corner which is called a German by West because he’s a stupid man. Jarrett hits a pescado to take Angle down on the floor.

Spending a lot of time on the mat here which is probably an attempt to balance out the lack of cardio that Jeff likely has. We get some dueling chants as Jeff fights out of a chinlock. Someone needs to win with one of those once just for the pure shock value of it. Angle’s shoulder hits the post and Jarrett is too spent to do anything about it.

Jarrett starts a comeback but can’t finish him. He goes for a middle rope suplex but Angle blocks and tries a belly to belly to the floor. Since that would more or less kill Jarrett, Angle gets a top rope suplex instead. A nice counter sets up the figure four and Angle is in trouble. Foley has done absolutely nothing in the nearly fifteen minutes we’ve been going so far.

Rolling Germans have Jarret in trouble. Ankle Lock is on and Jeff is about to tap. Angle Slam gets two and a moonsault misses. According to Tenay the figure four is the reason the moonsault missed. I’m pretty sure it was actually Jeff rolling out of the way but what do I know? Stroke gets two but the referee is out so Foley counts two.

Kurt goes to get a chair and Foley says no way. Yes let’s tell one of the most intense men in the history of the sport that hates your guts not to use a chair he has in his hands. Foley gets his skull caved in for the 150th time which he should get a set of steak knives for I think. Chair to Jarrett gets two as Foley stops it. Socko to Kurt and a guitar shot ends it with Foley making the count.

Rating: B. Solid for the most part here and considering that it was Jeff’s first match in so long, this was pretty good. Foley didn’t need to be there like at all but it fit in with the story so I can live with that. Tenay SHOUTS at Jeff’s kids in Nashville that they all love them and this was for you. WOW yeah that wasn’t overkill at all Mikey.

Recap of Sting vs. Joe which is about Sting being the old guard and Joe not respecting him. Announcer: Sting paved the way for men like Joe. Sting: I paved the way for you Joe! This was actually well set up for the Mafia angle.

We get a video about Sting as he’s on the way to the ring. The tale of the tape thing listed him as 6’3 and this lists him as 6’2. Little things like those are what makes us say TNA is a stupid looking company. I know it’s not a big deal, but it’s something that shouldn’t have been screwed up. It makes them look sloppy which is not good at all.

Video on Joe says nothing of note. He’s the heel by default here.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Samoa Joe

We get their weights for the third time in four minutes in the big match intros. Also I love that JB says standing in the corner to my left when he’s pacing from corner to corner. Joe is ready to go. Joe puts him on the floor seconds into this with a backdrop. Suicide dive with the elbow and Sting is in trouble early.

We’re out into the crowd and it’s more or less even. They go up near the top of the arena as it’s nothing but punches and chops so far. Joe gets a running start from a luxury box and jumps over the guard rail with a dropkick and crashes on the stairs. That was very awesome. The fat apparently kept his back safe though as we head back to the ring. No rematches no matter what apparently either.

They’ve been in the stands for like four minutes out of the six this has been going on. They were in the ring about 5 seconds literally. Sting with a cross body off the hockey boards to take Joe out which was cool looking too. Joe is bleeding from the nose and it might be broken. Sting gets the little Stingers crotched on the boards and an Ole Kick puts him down. You don’t kick a guy when his balls are in need of repair! It’s got to be illegal in some way.

FINALLY we go back to the ring and, get ready for it, WE GO INSIDE IT! This has been going like 8 minutes and we’ve been in the ring all of 15 seconds. Not a fan of that style more often than not. The fans are behind Joe now as I guess the TNA crowd thing is like a virus. Muscle Buster is blocked by a freaking jumping tornado DDT out of the corner and a Frog Splash for Sting gets two. I haven’t seen him use that in YEARS.

Joe gets a powerbomb into an STF as they’re moving very fast out there. Off into a crossface as he channels his inner Benoit. Ok make that the Rings of Saturn. This is like something out of a video game. Sting steals the Muscle Buster which Joe no sells completely. Wait why? It’s not like it’s a move you can learn the block for. You get dropped on your head which isn’t something you pop up from.

Sting matches the idiocy by popping up after a Scorpion Death Drop. See, it’s not like they even got covers. Both guys were up before the other one. If either of those moves end the match then the grade is dropping BIG time. You don’t no sell getting dropped on your freaking head! Joe getting booed a bit now as this really is a split crowd.

Joe has a thing going on at this point where he would win by TKO or knockout since he would beat the people and the referee would count them out which is how he beat Booker at Victory Road. He gets to 8 here on Sting but keeps pounding on him. And here’s Kevin Nash. Well of course he’s here. It’s a major match so we have to have more old people in it.

Sting goes for the bat but Nash steals it from him. He had been the mentor to Joe for like ever so it fits to have him out there. Again though, just because it fits doesn’t mean that it’s a good idea. Referee jumps out of the way of Sting so Nash pops him with the bat. Scorpion Death Drop ends this.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it didn’t really feel like a mega match. It was barely discussed all night which kind of made it feel less important. There was far more emphasis on the Jarrett/Angle match which I think is something I complained about when I watched this live. Sting winning set up the Mafia angle even more so for once this was a good idea. TNA tends to like setting up groups after their big PPV and this is no exception. Decent match.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was ok. It’s nothing great but there was nothing too terribly bad. It’s not a classic and it didn’t really feel like the biggest show of the year, but there’s enough stuff here to make it better than average. The Angle/Jarrett match was built up too highly I think and it overshadowed the main event, but then again it’s a better match. This worked and it set the stage for the Mafia’s dominance so yeah I’d think this was good for a major show.

 

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Victory Road 2010
Date: July 11, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Well I’m not wild on the card but they’ve done a great job of building up to this if nothing else. The main event just does nothing at all for me, but then again neither does the rest of the card. This isn’t going to be much, but the build has been good so maybe there’s some hope. I’ll be watching it out of order but there’s nothing I can do about that. Let’s get to it.

Intro video is just about the road to victory. Seriously is that all they can do for this show?

X Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Douglas Williams

This is Ultimate X/Submission which is about as odd of a combination as you could ask for. Williams almost immediately takes him to the mat as he’s afraid of heights. Well at least they’re giving Kendrick every possible out they can. Now let’s see how they manage to mess it up. Kendrick only goes for the Cobra Clutch and neither guy tries to climb yet.

In essence this is just a submission match with the Ultimate X aspect on the side. Naturally they couldn’t just do a submission match because they can advertise Ultimate X to boost buyrates. Who cares that it’s hardly used? They both go up the trellis thing and then Kendrick falls off. Yep he’s out cold. Williams gets some gloves to help him climb as he kills time.

He comes back up though and follows Williams across the ropes. Like an idiot he goes for the Cobra Clutch while hanging on to the ropes and falls backwards, smashing his head into the mat. He was legitimately injured or out cold. Williams throws a hold on him and the referee stops it. Something tells me that wasn’t the planned ending. They have to bring out smelling salts to wake him up.

Rating: D+. This was just pointless overkill again. There was one or at most two big spots as opposed to just doing the freaking submission match that they wanted to. The fear of heights thing was just forgotten, making the whole thing just completely pointless. This was overkill that didn’t work, but then again that’s TNA for you.

Christy is with Ray who says that just like Christy’s issue of Playboy, Jesse Neal is a failure. He gets in her face and makes her cry. We see the same recap video we saw on Impact which gives us nothing about why Bubba is mad but whatever.

Brother Ray vs. Brother D–Von vs. Jesse Neal

Let’s get this over with. Ray comes out first and hides behind the set. He jumps Neal and there’s no D-Von. We cut to the back where D-Von is locked in his dressing room, presumably by Bubba. Clearly the cameraman has no arms because he doesn’t let him out which would involve moving a board. Oh look: more kind of false advertising as it’s the same match from last month.

Again we hear about how much Neal’s life has sucked. We get it already guys, let it go. No one cares about Neal and that’s all there is to it. This is nothing but basic stuff as we’re all just waiting for D-Von to come running out for the big save or beatdown or whatever. Ray of course uses the big boot because that’s all anyone uses for a big strike anymore. The ECW guys are here.

They distract Bubba a bit and Neal gets a spear for two. Shannon Moore comes down for a save which lets Ray hit Neal with a chair. D-Von finally comes out and there’s a staredown. They both look at Jesse and then slug it out. Neal accidentally spears D-Von and a Bubba Bomb ends it. D-Von was in the ring for maybe a minute total.

Rating: F. This was false advertising if nothing else. This was a one on one match with two run-ins. What was the point to this? Just do 3D vs. Ink Inc like you want to do. No one cares about this feud and no one wants to see Bubba vs. D-Von, so of course that’s what we’re going to get.

We recap Love vs. Rayne which shows why the division completely sucks anymore. The BP and Love are the only ones in the division worth anything anymore and that’s not saying much.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

If Rayne wins then Love retires and she can lose the belt by DQ. We start with a big slugout. Rayne is in skin colored clothes. And remember people: these chicks are WAY better than the Divas and don’t you forget it. I really can’t stand this division anymore as it’s somehow more of a joke than WWE.

Rayne wraps her legs around Love’s head and slams it face first into the mat. Her finisher doesn’t work and Love makes her comeback. Rayne brings in a chair and gets it kicked into her face. Can we get on with this? And here’s a chick on a motorcycle. She jumps Love and the referee determines that since she’s either Velvet or Lacey (she’s in a helmet) Rayne is disqualified and Love is champion. Rayne leaves with the chick that just cost her the belt of course. Allegedly it’s Tara, because she retired recently and therefore has to come back immediate.

Rating: D-. This was somehow less interesting than the previous match. This is the third straight title change that hasn’t involved the champion being pinned. Is there a point to this title anymore? Same with the girl tag titles. This is even more of a joke than I could have imagined. Whatever man.

We go back to Anderson who makes pot jokes and says nothing of note other than the signature line.

AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. ???/???

AJ and Kaz can’t get along so of course they’re going to win. The surprises are Terry and Joe. Sure, why not have a guy that is a champion be brought in as a surprise? We can’t have him fight for the title on PPV when we have Ray vs. Neal II!!! AJ vs. Terry start us off and AJ tags out in seconds. The surprise team completely dominates for the early few minutes as you would expect.

AJ and Kaz are getting along quite well. Oh and remember: this isn’t about the wrestlers. This is about impressing Flair. AJ isn’t here for titles. He’s here to make sure Flair is happy. TNA makes my head hurt at times. Instead of going with AJ as the top guy, he’s running around imitating Flair and trying to make him happy. It’s more of TNA wasting what they have for angles that they think people actually want to see.

Instead of talking about the match, we talk about the ranking system. This is ALL Terry/Joe. Ah wait we can talk about Flair a bit now. Wolfe of all people comes down for interference (he jobbed in a dark match of course) and Kaz takes over. AJ hits the springboard 450 on Terry for the pin. They didn’t argue ONCE. Joe beats up Wolfe post match.

Rating: D+. Oh how I hate TNA at times. This could have been a decent match but instead it made no sense from the storyline perspective. The heels have been about to explode for weeks and now they’re all fine and best friends? Also, this is once again about Flair. That’s who the majority of the commentary is about and all that jazz. Just a waste of talent and an angle.

Abyss likes his nail board.

Recap of Morgan vs. Hernandez. Morgan got all cocky and injured Hernandez. Hernandez wants revenge. I love simple angles.

Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez

This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.

This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.

He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?

Rating: D+. The psychology didn’t exist, Hernandez doesn’t gain anything, the ending is illogical, Hernandez looks weak and nothing is really solved. This was completely backwards and didn’t go anywhere at all. Not a horrible match, but just something that should have been far different and far better.

Flair talks about how great he is.

Tenay and Taz say exactly what Flair just said.

We get a video saying what Tenay and Taz just said.

Ric Flair vs. Jay Lethal

Come see a senior citizen get pounded! Lethal wears red and yellow as a tribute to Hogan. Seriously, can ANYTHING not be about Hogan or Flair in some way? Taz says Flair is Mr. Credibility. Taz now is fail. Sting can wear a shirt but Flair can’t? Once again the crowd is relatively dead. Flair only does simple stuff like thumbs to the eyes. Could it have anything to do with being 61?

Lethal hits a top rope superplex. Flair is just fine and goes after the knee. The fans chant for Flair, thereby showing how horrible they are at this. Flair of course switches knees halfway through, thereby making him look like an idiot. Figure Four of course doesn’t work and we go back and forth for a bit which borders on entertaining. And there’s Flair’s trunks going down to ruin it.

Ric gets a sleeper. I guess due to his age he needs a nap during matches now. Now Lethal goes for the knees. He gets the weakest chop block ever and puts on the Figure Four. Yep, Flair taps. Jay Lethal has just put a 61 year old man in a leg submission and made him give up. He cries of course because we have to make Flair look good in the end. I hate this company. I truly don’t.

Rating: D+. People want to say this is a huge deal for Lethal. I’m sorry, but no it isn’t. Lethal is what, 24? He beat a guy 37 years older than he is and it’s supposed to be impressive? If this was say 10 years ago it would mean something, but this is just worthless. Flair is a name, but that’s it. What does this prove? Lethal can beat up a guy who could have great grandchildren? Why am I supposed to be impressed? Flair hasn’t meant anything in years so this win is relatively worthless.

Hardy says he’ll win.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

We recap Angle’s hunt through TNA’s top ten, which more or less is he beats up everyone to get to the top guy. Pope just happens to be the next guy. There’s no real heat between them. Pope just has the right number.

Kurt Angle vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Angle is listed as #10, yet he’s beaten two guys and Pope is 8th. I love the TNA thinking. We start on the ground. I’m watching this out of order since I got home late so this is the first match I watched. They’re doing the red, white and blue ropes which is cool looking. They booked themselves into a corner here as Angle can’t really lose but Pope is returning and hasn’t won a big match in months. Angle hits a buckle bomb which is always great looking.

This is a solid match to start but they’re not going to have a ton of time unless this goes up until eleven. Kurt is winning but not dominating which is a good thing. Pope steals the Rolling Germans which doesn’t work. Only a handful of people can suplex Angle and he isn’t one of them. Angle’s all like boy I’ll show you Rolling Germans. Pope hits a Codebreaker and the fans are all behind Angle.

Angle Slam hits from nowhere for two. Why are announcers still surprised by that? I don’t get it. Ankle Lock goes on but Pope gets a rollup for two. Ankle Lock again on the mat and it’s over. This needed a bit more time but was entertaining.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The match was never in doubt though which is what hurt it. Angle is in a groove at the moment and this was no exception. This doesn’t hurt Pope that much though as he’ll likely move on to Anderson now. Decent enough match though and certainly passable.

RVD isn’t worried about Abyss and says he’ll stick the nail board up Abyss.

No recap here. Good as it’s not needed.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Damvs. Abyss

Everybody goes for Abyss to start and it doesn’t work. The crowd is odd here for some reason. This goes nowhere as Abyss just gets up. Hardy and Anderson get him down for like a second and we’re into the usual formula here to an extent. Yep we’re in the formula. That’s fine though as it’s really the only way to do this.

We’re mostly just killing time thus far. The crowd seems a bit dead for some reason but maybe it’s just been a long show. Van Dam hits a split legged moonsault on Anderson for two as Hardy saves. Abyss is gone for the moment so I’m waiting on his return to break up a pin. Instead we get a Tower of Doom with RVD taking the big bump from it. The fans chant TNA for a heel doing a big move. That sums things up pretty well.

Everyone is in the ring now and RVD is in control. I have no idea why everyone is trying to beat Abyss. He’s supposed to be unhurtable but they keep going for him. The fans chant for Anderson. This is really just a bunch of near falls with moves on the side. It’s not bad, but it’s the hazard of multiple man matches. Mic Check on Abyss gets two. Black Hole to Hardy gets two. Abyss looks stupid counting the pin.

Anderson and Hardy finally go at it and it gets NOTHING. This crowd is just out of it. Remember who these fans are too. Abyss is on Hardy who is on Anderson so RVD hits the Five Star for the pin. Wow that was anticlimactic.

Post match Abyss beats up RVD and gets the nail board which misses everything. The show ends with Abyss holding the board and RVD looking at him. Yeah that was stupid.

Rating: D. This just didn’t do it for me. It could have been worse, but at the same time there just wasn’t anything at all special here. The ending to both the match and the show just completely sucked, but what did you really expect? I see no reason at all for RVD to retain there, so of course he did. Whatever.

Overall Rating: D. I’m sorry but this show just was not very good. Actually screw that. I’m not sorry as the psychology was gone, very little made sense from the TV shows building it up and there was one truly good match. Everything else was either boring, confusing, or predictable.

 

RVD retains, likely setting up RVD vs. Abyss at Hard Justice in a match that should have been here. The Dudleys aren’t done yet so that solved nothing. Angle wins as you would expect him to and Lethal beat up a 60+ year old man. Someone tell me what good came from this other than the Guns’ win. Just a totally lackluster show. See the tag match though.

 

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Genesis 2010
Date: January 17, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

So we’re in the Hogan Era on PPV, three months after he was announced. We’ve been over the stupidity of that so I’ll ignore it for now. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Styles, but we also have EPIC encounters like THE BAND vs. Beer Money.  The idiocy of this astounds me. Also, we have two matches that are straight from the last PPV or January 4th and no one has a problem with that. This is hopefully going to be a live review so this is kind of a one man LD so let’s get to it.

The video is your standard thing about everyone saying it’s their destiny to be a champion. Not sure what that has to do with a new beginning or a Genesis but whatever.

Oh and we have a four sided ring now. Nothing says being an alternative to WWE than looking even more and more like them. And my life is made complete as we have the fans with an epic WE WANT SIX SIDES chant at Hogan and Bischoff as they come out to open the show.

 

I would bet that they’ll keep it as they decide that they know more about the wrestling the fans want than the fans. Of course they mention Vince because it’s a law or whatever. This made my night though, as Hogan and Bischoff show that they don’t know everything the fans know.

 

Also, it shows me that the fans aren’t just brainwashed. Also, it amuses me that they keep saying that the ring is pro wrestling. Strange, I’ve always thought pro wrestling was what went on in the ring. You can wrestle on the floor or in the back. ECW made a company out of it. So wait. According to TNA, when a match goes outside the ring, it ceases being a match? Is it interpretive dance or something? Either way, that made me smile.

X–Division Title: Amazing Red vs. ???

There was no opponent announced and without saying it’s a mystery opponent, it’s Brian Kendrick coming out to some weird violin music. This isn’t bad, but it’s better than some other options I suppose. This should be good I guess though if they just let them go. The name helps a lot also as it’s his real name so it’s not something awful like Junior Fatu.

 

If nothing else this is the best choice for the opener as it’s almost certain to be high flying and interesting looking. It worked in WCW and it should work here. That’s the point of openers: get the crowd alive. These two should be able to do that pretty well and they are so far. And we’re in a leg lock. Why are we using psychology in a match like this? And my stream is out so the rest of this is being written on Monday other than the intro to the Knockouts match.

 

Oh there’s also a ramp leading to the ring. Think of ECW or old school WCW. Hogan’s changes are already viewable. The fans chanting WE WANT SIX SIDES truly made my night. Hogan’s daughter is here. Kendrick sticks to the knee for no apparent reason. Actually that’s not fair as there’s a point to it, but this is supposed to be a high flying match and it’s a mat based thing instead.

 

Oh and Lashley isn’t going to wrestle tonight, which is false advertising but whatever. Ah there we go. NOW we get to the air and the match picks up A LOT. For one thing the fans are into it which is the whole point of this. We get our second shot of Brooke Hogan and I still don’t care at all.

 

Well at least Kendrick is working on the knee a lot so he’s being consistent and it takes away Red’s best offense so he’s thinking which is a big way of scoring points to me. The fans are split here which is interesting. Red hits a HOKEY SMOKE move to get the win. More or less he goes for a sunset flip but jumps to the top rope so he hits a very fast and fluid sunset flip that looks awesome. I was genuinely impressed by that ending.

Rating: C+. This was designed to get the crowd going and while it could have been much better it did its job well enough, especially the ending. I’m not entirely sure on the idea of having your big surprise losing here, but at the same time it might not be a long term thing. Either way, this was certainly ok, although the leg work might not have been the best idea.

Bischoff, Hogan and the Band are in the back and the Band is told this is their only shot so make it count. Hall and Pac play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who is Nash’s partner. Hall loses and won’t wrestle, as he looks awful in tights apparently. False advertising number 2.

Sean Morely vs. Christopher Daniels

Remember, even though Morely is wearing a towel and coming out to something similar to his old music, HE ISN’T VAL VENIS! Brooke gets Morely’s towel. Three times the camera has been on her in less than 30 minutes now. Daniels is the heel here and cuts a bland heel promo before the match which doesn’t work well at all since the fans aren’t buying it. Fourth shot of Brooke.

 

Daniels in the long tights works much better. Has that thing on his shoulder ever been explained? I don’t think it has been. I’ve always liked Morely. He’s a guy you can almost guarantee a good match out of which is so rare in modern wrestling. Daniels hooks a triangle choke to appeal to the MMA fans out there.

 

Apparently Morely is a true pro. I thought they were all pros. You can wrestle in TNA as an amateur? They’ve never heard of Mass Transit have they? Morely hits a Blue Thunder Bomb which is one of my favorites in No Mercy so I’m liking this more and more every second. I’m still not sold on a match being made for no apparent reason and then having a PPV match of it 3 days later but then again I’m no professional.

 

A clothesline is called an STO. That’s expected I guess but still, that wasn’t even close. The Best Moonsault Ever misses and Sean goes for the splash. Since that’s too easy though it doesn’t work, although he hits it a few seconds later which draws Brooke Hogan shot #5.

Rating: C+. Again, not bad at all. Morely is a guy that you can certainly depend on for a good match and it worked well here. Again though, why is this on PPV? Why were they even fighting? That was never explained which is a common theme on this show I think. Also, Morely hasn’t wrestled on the main stage in years and he can beat last month’s world title challenger? That makes perfect sense right?

Now I didn’t see this, but allegedly during this match, a group of fans turned their back on the match. This is allegedly a “stable” of fans that are collectively going against this because they don’t want Val in the company. Are you kidding me? It’s one thing to boo faces and cheer heels or something, but to become the focus of a match isn’t being a fan. It’s being a selfish jerk. Get over yourselves people. That’s just pathetic as all goodness.

We recap ODB vs. Tara, which is they’ve feuded over the title so tonight they’re doing it again because they have nothing else. It’s 2/3 falls if nothing else though.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

 

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s back to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

 

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon.

 

ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

Pope cuts a promo where I have no clue what he’s talking about. Oh it’s about Desmond Wolfe, who he already beat clean, making this match completely pointless. Christy reminds me of Lois Lane from Smallville.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

 

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either.

 

Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point. They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match.

 

The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

Lashley jumps Bischoff for no apparent reason and Abyss knocks him the heck out. Dress rehearsal for Strikeforce I guess. Hogan and Bischoff come in and Abyss as the childish character is something I’m not sure of yet. It’s just odd. He sucks up to Hogan which at least fits with his character as of late. Yeah he’s not channeling Foley from 98-99 at all here.

Desmond Wolfe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Yet another match that was on Impact and we’re getting it again here, but this time we get to PAY FOR IT! WOO HOO! Wolfe has some hot chick with him that needs to be on camera more. Slick 2.0 comes out second. He’s dropping money on the crowd. Completely original there. Dang that girl is hot indeed. I have never once gotten the appeal of Elijah Burke. I just don’t get it at all.

 

Wolfe is good but I’m not sold either way on him yet. Thankfully Pope gets stretched all over the place which makes me smile quite a bit. If nothing else Pope gets a NICE STO to put him down, which Tenay screws up the call on again by calling that a clothesline. Come on Mikey. You know the history of the Villiano family yet you don’t know what a freaking clothesline is?

 

I’m digging Wolfe here as he’s showing off a lot of submission work in there which is more of a staple of TNA. The fans like Pope if nothing else, although these fans will cheer anything you ask them to. The fans say this is awesome. I would disagree but it’s been decent. Pope tries to get a big knee but Wolfe just takes his head off with a lariat. NICE.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The fans were into it so I can’t ask for much more than that. Wolfe winning is definitely the right thing, although I’m not sure I get the point in having the same match on Impact and then the same match on PPV but whatever. This wasn’t terrible at all though with some nice stuff in there.

JB is thrown off of TV by Bischoff. More room for Bubba I guess. Hemme interviews Flair who says nothing important.

We recap the Band jumping Beer Money. That’s about it, and we have a tag match because of it.

Kevin Nash/Syxx–Pac vs. Beer Money

Penzer’s mic cuts up a lot during the announcement of the Band. Hall and Pac need to leave soon. They’re just not worth anything anymore, not when there are so many young guys that can do their thing just as well. THANK GOODNESS there’s no beer wagon there or whatever for Storm to ride on. I hate that thing.

 

Still not entirely sold on Beer Money but they’re not terrible at all. Pac and Storm, who looks a bit like Shane Douglas in the eyes to me, start us off. Nash comes in and thankfully he manages to not get injured yet. Pac isn’t bad, which I think is because they’re keeping him away from the bigger guys. I’ve never been able to get into him vs. a big man. It just never worked at all for me.

 

I freaking hate the Bronco Buster. Have I made that clear over the years? Hall eventually stumbles out, having lost the rock paper scissors game that they keep bringing up. And Hall randomly pulls a fan over the railing and kicks his head in. In the ring Nash gets caught by presumably a superkick although we can’t see it and Roode pins him. Thank goodness there as I really thought they would have it go the other way.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here, but again it was nothing special. Beer Money winning was a HUGE positive here and really does relieve a lot of my worries here. The match wasn’t terrible but it’s nothing great. The whole show has just been ok from a wrestling standpoint, which isn’t good as this is supposed to be all top level matches right?

Hogan and Bischoff talk about the Band and Hogan is going to call them out on Thursday. They hint at something Hogan did but don’t say what. Where’s that ominous music when I need it?

Abyss vs. ???

This was supposed to be Lashley but they’re changing everything around as usual so we don’t know who he’s fighting here. And it’s Mr. Kennedy now called Mr. Anderson. This is a very interesting pick up to me as he’s incredibly polarizing. He’s a guy that could be a huge deal or he could stay as unimportant and boring as some see him.

 

There were a few times that I loved this guy and a few times that I wanted to change the channel as I was sick to death of him. Either way, I like the signing even though it was a bit lackluster. He starts saying Kennedy and cuts himself off to say Anderson before telling the audience to wait for it and do it again.

 

This is a good acquisition I think though, although the issue I have here is simple: they’re rapidly running out of signings to make. Also, they don’t have room for a midcard champion to be on the card, yet they’re bringing in more talent. Some guys have to go soon or they’re going to run out of room. Anderson looks great and hopefully won’t get hurt.

 

That’s the other bad side of him: can he stay healthy? If he can, then the sky could be the limit for him. The emphasis there is on could though. Anderson works on the arm but that gets him nowhere. The fans chant overrated at Anderson. The fans are vocal if nothing else.

 

Back to the arm so at least we have some flow to it. I have no idea who the faces and heels here are supposed to be but what the heck, who cares? Abyss makes a small comeback but Anderson hits a botched neckbreaker to stop that. A chokeslam gets two. I keep expecting Anderson to break.

 

Why does Taz always use the term pin cover? I’ve never heard anyone else say that. It’s chair time now. And Anderson pulls out brass knuckles to hit Abyss and knock him out for the pin. Yeah he hit the guy in the leather mask with knuckles for the pin. That would in theory not work that well but it’s TNA so there we go.

Rating: C-. This ran a bit long but it wasn’t that bad. It was a way to give Anderson credibility and nothing more which there’s nothing wrong with. This worked fine though and got a decent reaction from the crowd. Anderson is a big deal potentially so this was the only real outcome.

We recap Angle and Styles, which was more or less about them wanting to be champion and be the best in the world. This is Angle’s last shot which I don’t buy for a second but there we go.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

This is one of those matchups where all you have to do is just throw them out there and it’s more or less a guaranteed near classic. Flair comes down soon after we start and I’m not thrilled at all. Why do they need to have Flair get involved and likely have him interfere? These two are going to have a great match no matter what, so why mess with it?

 

To be fair though that could be the title for all of TNA at the moment so there we are. Styles has been teasing a heel turn as of late which really scares me. For one thing, the only other face is Sting, and what’s the point in that as they JUST had their feud at BFG. This is another match that’s hard to comment on as it’s very solid. They keep countering finishers and Angle finally hooks the ankle lock.

 

AJ just kicks him off. I don’t think I ever remember that before. AJ isn’t limping blast it. Angle gets a Styles Clash which never gets old. There’s a tiny A for effort chant. We’ll see about that. The Angle Slam gets two as we’re running low on time. Angle goes Olympic and puts Styles in the ankle lock with the grapevine.

 

AJ taps but Flair pulled the referee out. And of course his ankle is ok now. Flair throws the belt to AJ and he clocks Angle with it to go heel and gets the easy pin. I guess the pair of heels celebrate to take us out.

Rating: B+. This was a great match, but two things keep it from being a classic. First of all, the no selling of the ankle by AJ. He’s tapping out one minute and the next he’s perfectly fine? That doesn’t work for me, not when Angle had been working on it all match.

 

Second, the unclean ending, but that’s a way of life in all wrestling so I can let that slide a bit. This wasn’t as good as their Impact match a few weeks ago but it was still pretty solid. Easily the match of the night but they’ve had far better ones.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event and MAYBE Anderson’s debut, this felt like a long Impact. Morely vs. Daniels, Kendrick vs. Red, ODB vs. Tara, the tag title match (to a lesser degree) and Pope vs. Wolfe all could have been on any free TV show and in many cases were on free TV less than two weeks ago.

 

Also, not only did AJ and Angle have the same match on free TV, they had a BETTER match on free TV. Again I ask: why should I pay for something that may or may not be better that I could have seen for free a mere thirteen days earlier? Two of the big matches didn’t happen and while we got perfectly suitable replacements, it’s kind of a screw you to the fans that might have paid to see those matches.

 

I’m sure a lot of people paid to see the Outsiders and some paid to see Lashley, but they didn’t see either of those. To the good aspect here, among other things: every match was perfectly watchable. However, that’s just it: other than the main event, they were all just watchable.

 

There was nothing here I would go out of my way to see at all, and that’s the point of a PPV. The main event kept this from being a borderline failure. Check it out if you’re a big TNA fan, but other than that, not so much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s certainly not Immortal.

Pretty much this goes to Beer Money by default.  They were dominant all year and held the tag titles for like six months.  I don’t count their world title reigns because they weren’t as a team but you get the idea.  Is there anyone else that can compete here?

 

Your picks/thoughts?

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Bound For Glory and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Hogan is a face now, having turned after a year of being the top heel in the company. Also we have the same world champion in the form of Angle who was hurt going into the match and for some reason they didn’t put the title on Roode….uh….because he wasn’t ready or something? Clearly that’s their new policy on new champions and won’t be changed at all tonight right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last year leading up to Hogan’s face turn at BFG.

Here’s Sting to open the show as we hear about how much of a betrayal it was for Bischoff’s son to turn on him. Sting is sane again. He talks about how this was about getting Hogan back instead of staying with what we had for the last year. He calls out Hogan because the fans want to see him and here’s the old bald dude himself, now in yellow and red.

Hogan and Sting hug because 15 years of feuding can be solved by one match or something. Hogan admits he’s been wrong and thanks the fans. He’s had a few rough years and he became a follower instead of a leader. He’s been following Bischoff’s lead instead of leading things and now he realizes how wrong Eric was. Hulk takes the blame himself and says it wasn’t Eric’s fault. Heaven forbid we have a heel come off looking evil I guess.

He talks about how he saw Immortal as a pack of wolves and saw the light to make the save. So he had a soul changing moment all of a sudden? Well that’s an explanation at least. Hogan calls Sting the true icon and shakes his hand a bunch before leaving. Sting says Hogan still has it and then calls out Dixie Carter, who still has her own theme song on standby.

After a break Dixie is in the ring to thank Sting. Sting says it’s a day to remember and to celebrate. He also mentions that Dixie wouldn’t listen to him 18 months ago and she got burned because of it. However, it’s all cool because he loves it here and Dixie is going to look out for the fans and this is her second chance. Dixie apologizes to Sting about Hogan and Bischoff. She says she doesn’t belong in the ring and needs to be at headquarters. Because of that, she’s giving Sting the day-to-day authority in Impact Wrestling. So Sting is the new GM? That could work. Sting accepts.

They hug in the ring but a 20 minute segment isn’t long enough. Here’s Kurt who somehow still has the title. For the life of me I don’t get this company at times. After another break Angle calls them superheroes and blames Dixie for his own heel turn. Angle says he’s still champion but Sting is always talking about Bobby Roode. At BFG he made Roode look like a loser and he’s the better man.

That brings out Roode who yells at Angle because of the shaky finish to the title match. He blames Kurt for cheating at the PPV and saying it was bull. That was Roode’s night and he messed it up. If you believe the internet, it was Hogan that messed it up but who’s counting? The fans chant rematch and Sting likes that idea. Sting makes the rematch but Angle plays the Lee Corso card with a not so fast my friend.

The contract says Angle had to face Roode once and only once so there’s no rematch tonight. Angle wants to know what Roode’s partner’s catchphrase is and that brings out James Storm. After break #3, Storm is in the ring and wants a title shot as well. Angle screwed the company, the fans and Roode at the PPV. That means Angle screwed Storm as well and that doesn’t work. Sting however can fix that. Since the fans want a title match tonight, maybe Storm should get one. Angle cuts him off, saying there are ten guys in front of him. That’s very true. Sting makes the match anyway because logic means nothing in TNA.

Time of that very long segment: 40 minutes.

We jump to the back and Eric and Immortal come up to Hogan. Eric calls back the dogs and says they want something to go down in the ring tonight. Eric wants to meet Hogan in the ring tonight, one on one.

During the break, something occurs to me: didn’t Sting say that the REAL Hogan was the one that wanted to take over TNA last summer? Now the REAL Hogan is the good guy? I don’t think we’re supposed to remember that.

Knockout Tag Titles: Winter/Angelina Love vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher

Winter and Angelina break up Tessmacher’s shirt tear and the double team is on. We officially start with Angelina vs. Tessmacher. Tessmacher is messed up because of the beatdown and the challengers both beat her down. After a few minutes of beating, Angelina misses a middle rope crossbody and it’s a double tag to Winter and Tara. Spinning side slam gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher gets the pin on Winter with a top rope crossbody at 3:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, mainly due to large implants flying around and them keeping things short. Tessmacher still can’t do much in the ring but she’s improved a lot. She’d still be better at just being a sex object but most of the girls would be other than like two of them. This was nothing to see but for a quick Knockout tag, this wasn’t too bad.

Here are the Jarretts and Jeff calls out Hardy. For the sake of sanity, Jeff Jarrett will be called Jeff and Jeff Hardy will be called Hardy. Jeff talks about how Hardy has screwed up before and he’ll do it again. He says Hardy can leave tonight or he has to face Jeff. I’ll give Jeff this: he’s always ready to fight. Hardy says the fans want him here and it eats Jeff up. He’ll never light up a crowd like Hardy can and that brings about the brawl. They do the pull apart stuff like they did at the PPV. Agents come out and D’Lo Brown and Al Snow get into an argument for no apparent reason. Jeff gets in a low blow and Hardy is left laying.

Angle says he’ll keep the title tonight because he’s Kurt Angle.

We get some stills of Bischoff beating up his son on Sunday.

Eric Young wants to do a calendar photo shoot but Robbie E and Rob Terry come up. Has this been mentioned in months? Eric makes fun of Big Rob, calling him Conan the Barbarian. He calls himself a fighting champion and I begin to laugh. Eric says Robbie E can have a title shot and we’re told that Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be coming here. Oh good grief.

Abyss vs. Gunner

Gunner says that Immortal needs to prove they’re still on top so he’s fighting Abyss for Immortal tonight. Brawl to start and Gunner tries to run. Out to the floor and Gunner goes into the steps. They go back in and Gunner runs away for a countout at 1:50.

Velvet is going to thank the fans next.

Gunner says Immortal needs Abyss back and sounds scared of Abyss. Eric and company say they’re not worried. They’ll take care of Hogan first though.

We get a video about Velvet overcoming the odds because she was bullied as a kid. I don’t know what high school you went to, but girls that looked like her who were jocks weren’t bullied.

Velvet is in the ring now and holds up the belt, saying how awesome it is to finally be champion. She talks about the bullying thing again but says it was all worth it in the end. This brings out Karen and Traci and Karen yells a lot. She says she’s the Knockouts Boss and it would be boring if she just fired them both. Karen calls out security to get rid of Traci and it’s just the two of them left. She gets in Velvet’s face and threatens to strip her of the title but Jeff told her that wouldn’t be very fun. Karen wants the putting in her place to be physical.

She says she knows the perfect person to do it and says Velvet needs eyes in the back of her head. Since Velvet is a face and therefore an idiot, Madison Rayne comes out to the stage and Velvet looks at her as Gail Kim returns through the crowd and beats up Velvet. They both beat Velvet down and stand tall.

More clips from BFG.

Here’s Immortal and Bischoff will be doing the talking. He says that he’ll deal with his son later and calls out Hogan. Hogan’s music is playing before Bischoff is done talking. Eric says he’s got a lot to say so hopefully Hogan packed a lunch. He wants to know how Hogan can dare turn on these guys after they protected him for 18 months. We’ll ignore the storyline issues with that for the sake of sanity. Eric talks about how he’s the man that made Hogan who he is today. Well that’s true. Hogan is a much weaker star today than he was in the 80s.

The real problem though is that Hogan got in Bischoff’s son’s ear and stopped Eric’s son from becoming like his father. Hogan says that he’s learned a lot in the past few days and part of that is that Bischoff’s son is more of a man than Bischoff. Immortal is at ringside and Bischoff tries to hit Hogan. That fails so Hogan points at him. Here’s Immortal but they don’t attatck him. Sting slides in with a pair of ball bats and Immortal (all three of them) run.

Bischoff backs up the ramp but his son is behind him. He says how dare you Hogan but backs into his son. Eric yells at him and the son calls him a disgrace. He rips his son’s shirt open and reveals a Bischoff tattoo on his chest. Eric says his son doesn’t deserve that name anymore and gets drilled for it. He gives Hulk and Sting a thumbs up. So…what’s the payoff to this? I mean, how can this go anywhere since he’s not a wrestler and neither is his dad?

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

The bell is ringing at 10:55 so this is going to be short. Angle pounds him down in the corner but brags too much. He walks into a superkick and Storm is champion at 1:20. Well they can’t make it much more definitive than that.

Roode comes out to celebrate and is quickly followed by the rest of Fourtune. Storm goes into the crowd to celebrate.

Storm comes back for the celebration and says this is great. He hands Roode the belt because it belongs to him. Roode takes it and wraps it around Storm’s waist. Fourtune stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this show. There was way too much talking, but I can understand wanting to focus on storylines a lot. That’s fine, but with a huge twist at the end the show felt like one big angle instead of a TV show. I can live with that once in awhile, but if it becomes the norm this show is in trouble. Anyway, things have certainly changed, although I have a lot of questions about a lot of things, and that’s not really a good thing. As for the title change, as usual with TNA: I think I like the end results but I’m not wild about how they got there.

Results
Tara/Brooke Tessmacher b. Angelina Love/Winter – Top rope crossbody to Winter
Abyss b. Gunner via countout
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Superkick

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Tonight we’re likely to get the fallout of Angle attacking Crimson last week as well as Sting vs. Hogan/Angle. I’m not wild on either story but that’s what we have to go with leading up to No Surrender. Also we should get an answer from AJ about Daniels challenging him for another match at the same PPV. Also there are Bound (get it?) to be be more Series matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle segment with Sting and Hogan. The idea is Angle is mad at Dixie for lying about Karen and Jeff. Now he’s going after all of the young talent one by one, starting with Crimson.

Here’s Sting to open the show, chair and bat in hands. Sting stops to roll down the ramp. Uh…sure. He says it was a redoing of last week where he got beaten up. He doesn’t remember what happened but he does remember that he was nervous, as his shirt says. It was however awesome to be beaten up by Hogan, who still has the (cue singing) Eye of the Tiger.

Sting says the fans and he both want to see the Hulkster back in the ring right? He starts a Hogan chant because he wants Hogan in the ring tonight. Instead he gets…Ric Flair. He asks if Sting just called Hogan the greatest ever. Sting is in fact an icon and people ask Flair when they’ll wrestle again. The fans want one more Flair vs. Sting match. There goes the jacket and Flair says in order to get back to where he uses to be, he has to wrestle Sting again. He doesn’t have to win, but just wrestle him. If he beats Sting, Sting retires. If Sting wins, Flair will deliver Hogan to Sting.

Sting asks the people and they seem into it. Flair smells like garlic and Sting accepts the match.

Post break Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan is FREAKING. Hogan wants to know if Flair is on goofball pills. He thinks Sting should be dead and Flair says it’s not a big problem. Flair says he’ll get the troops together tonight. Hogan swears he’ll never wrestle Sting so Flair hugs Hogan and kisses him on the cheek. Ok then.

Bound For Glory Series standings:

Crimson 50

Bully Ray 42

Bobby Roode 35

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Rob Van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (out)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

There are three weeks left and the final four advance to BFG.

D-Von says he’ll beat Scott Steiner and is going to BFG.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Devon

D-Von’s kids are there of course. He takes over to start and gets a pair of two counts quickly. And never mind as Steiner gets a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 1:10. What the heck was that?

Post match Joe sneaks in on Joe and beats him up, putting a leg hold on him. D-Von’s kids want Pope to come help him but they jump the railing (security around here sucks) to stop it and Pope comes in late for the save.

There’s an X-Division gauntlet which determines the rankings of the division and #1 contender next.

Post break Joe says don’t act surprised because this is how he does things. He’s taking everyone down with him. He’s going to take out the entire Series.

Alex Shelley vs. Tony Nese vs. Kid Kash vs. Robbie E vs. Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is a gauntlet match. Shelley vs. Haskins (who looks like Morrison but less tanned and built) with Shelley beating the tar out of him. The first person out is #8 in the rankings, making the whole rankings stupid because whoever got the first two spots have a 50/50 chance of being last. Shelley keeps trying Sliced Bread but Haskins keeps blocking it. They trade pinning combination attempts and Haskins gets something resembling the inbred cousin of the GTS for the pin at 1:56.

Robbie gets pinned at 2:20 (total time on each, meaning there were about 24 seconds between pins).

Ion comes in third and hits a missile dropkick and some nice stuff including throwing Haskins’ face into Ion’s feet (yes that’s what happened) for two. A 450 gets the pin at 3:30.

Off to Sorensen who starts fast but gets taken down just as quickly. 450 hits knees and Ion is gone thanks to something like a spinning DDT at 4:20. This is why I hate gauntlet matches: the pins come WAY too fast.

Nese is in next and likes to attack by running. The rankings are in reverse order, meaning that Shelley is #8, Robbie is #7 etc. German gets two on Sorensen. That same spinning DDT ends Nese at 5:50.

Kash comes in and we take a break. Back with Kash hitting a moonsault for two on Sorensen. Only Aries is left. Moneymaker, the double underhook piledriver is countered into a rollup for the pin at 10:50.

Aries is in last but Kash comes in and hits the Moneymaker to kill Sorensen. Aries comes in and puts his foot on the chest for two. Brainbuster is countered into a small package for two. There’s a running dropkick in the corner and now the brainbuster ends this at 12:20 total.

Rating: D. I cannot stand these kind of matches. Why in the world should I believe that a regular match should take longer than a minute and a half now when something like this had seven pins in less than 13 minutes (with who knows how much it was shortened during the break)? I wasn’t a fan of this, namely due to the speed of the pinfalls which is a problem with these matches in general.

Aries talks about Kendrick post match and the champ comes out to offer a handshake which Aries declines. Kendrick jumps him and beats the tar out of the #1 contender.

Flair is getting ready for a fight. Don’t tell me Sting vs. Flair is tonight.

Sting is pacing in the back.

Anderson is out with two ruptured eardrums.

BFG ad.

ODB and Jackie are excited for a match later where they’re going to get a roster spot. Oh freaking joy.

Traci comes in to see Eric and he hits on her. She has an idea for Eric and wants to be Knockout Law again. In essence she’s in charge of them and Eric makes her lean over so he can look down her shirt. She was in Playboy dude.

ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets her rematch on September 1. Mickie hammers away but gets caught in a fallaway slam. I think Mickie’s hair is blonder now. It’s power vs. speed here and Mickie gets a neckbreaker to put both of them down. They nip up at the same time and slug it out. Some clotheslines put ODB down and a rana is blocked. James is sent to the floor and Jackie wants to jump her but can’t. Mickie gets back in but the DDT is blocked. Bronco Buster misses for ODB and the DDT hits this time, ending things at 5:47.

Rating: D+. Wasn’t feeling this one at all but I think that’s more for my utter disdain for Jackie. I’ve never been able to stand her, namely due to her being so freaking LOUD all the time. Her voice is annoying and I have no idea what people keep hiring her for. Her matches aren’t anything of note and she’s not interesting at all. Either way, the match was dull, namely due to ODB focusing on rubbing her body too much.

Winter and Angelina have a weird moment over the title. Just get them to a lesbian scene already. She says she can beat Mickie. They’re having wine and it looks like it’s got blood in it. Winter calls it orgasmic.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles

Lynn is outside again. Technical stuff as usual to start as they feel each other out a lot. AJ gets a backbreaker for two. Knee drop gets the same. BIG monkey flip sends Styles down though and it even gets a replay. Rolling Thunder hits for two. Lynn gets annoyed and Rob isn’t pleased with Jerry getting up.

RVD gets crotched and AJ looks to take over again with a superplex but Rob counters. Five Star hits knees and Styles gets two. They slug it out and an attempt at the Clash is broken up. AJ hits the Pele and Lynn pulls the referee out for the DQ at 5:22, costing RVD another ten points.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but with only five minutes these two aren’t capable of getting anything going. That isn’t their fault but it’s really just kind of reality. Either way this wasn’t anything special. It felt like a collection of spots as a means to the end of the match, which was Lynn interfering. It’s pretty clear they’re going for RVD vs. Lynn at BFG, which isn’t a bad move. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t have time to go anywhere.

Rob yells at Lynn post break.

Flair is talking to no one it seems and things start moving around. He says Sting isn’t the Joker and we hear a pipe fall. Flair keeps looking for him and more stuff moves/falls. He calls out Sting but all he hears are more noises. Something big falls and Flair says he’s counting to five and is starting at four. He doesn’t have time for this as he has to go to a bar later. Sting finally appears but someone jumps him. It’s Gunner and Sting rams him into some boxes. Flair fires Gunner and leaves while Sting keeps beating on him. Sting tells Gunner he’ll go somewhere someday.

Time for more Eric Young hijinks. He tries to wrestle some woman and wants to find Scott Baio, again. He’s told Baio is in the Valley and the showdown is next week. Good for it.

Crimson is here and is limping.

Here’s Crimson in the arena and he’s limping badly. He says he used to respect Angle and calls him out because they have some issues now. Angle doesn’t respect him because he’s a nobody. The young talent, built around Angle, has meant nothing. Without Angle, Crimson is uncoordinated and green. Angle says Crimson needs him (Angle) to get anywhere. Crimson says no one in the back disrespects Angle and Angle calls Crimson nothing.

He goes to leave and Crimson stops him. Crimson challenges Angle for next week where he’ll show him why he’s the future and and the here and now. He’s REAL. He’s DANG REAL.

Mexican America says they’ll win the titles next.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

The Jarretts are on commentary here. This is billed as the final showdown. The champs take over to start as Jeff talks about Mexico and is way funnier than he should be, especially given what he’s talking about. Hernandez gets a shot in on Storm and takes over, also getting two. Off to Anarquia who gets two off a double shoulder block.

Jeff and Karen are shocked that Tenay speaks so highly of the Guerreros. He accuses Hector of having some cerveza as Storm gets a shot in on Anarquia but Hernandez breaks up the tag. Border Toss is countered into a Codebreaker and here’s Roode off the hot tag. Blockbuster gets two. Angle has accepted Crimson’s challenge. Beer Money hits a slingshot into a DDT on Anarquia.

Double suplex puts Hernandez down and LET’S SHOUT OUR NAMES! Rosita comes in and spits beer in Storm’s face which doesn’t work for some reason here. They go after her and Karen bounces down to ringside. Jeff comes down as well and the distraction lets Hernandez get a shot to the head of Roode with the AAA belt and the Mexicans win the titles at 7:25.

Rating: C. Match wasn’t bad and they really needed to dot he title switch here. Beer Money had held the titles forever and the switch is the right thing here, especially with the Jarrett Mexican Champion thing going on. Not a great match or anything but it accomplished the goal that it needed to, which is really all you can ask for here.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t without merit but it felt like it was boring for the most part. It’s very hit or miss and the misses caught up with it at the end. Sting and Flair were on screen WAY too much tonight. The problem with that is it takes up from other stuff you can do, like have a match for example. Winter and Angelina are vampires or something (totally more serious than leprechauns right?) and Eric Young is still in Hollywood because COMEDY IS GREAT, especially when it keeps the champion from defending his title in two and a half months right?

On the other hand the Crimson thing was good and you can see the shapings of the next two PPVs really coming into focus. Having Joe do the run-in post match was interesting and it would make me think he’s going to No Surrender, but if he can never get a match how is that supposed to happen? I guess that’s what house shows are for but they’re rapidly running out of time. Anyway, hit and miss show tonight and it certainly wasn’t horrible, but it missed for the most part I thought.

 

Results

Scott Steiner b. Devon – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Austin Aries won a gauntlet match last eliminating Jesse Sorensen

Mickie James b. ODB – Jumping DDT

AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

Mexican America b. Beer Money – Hernandez pinned Roode after a belt shot