Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the start of the Road to Wrestlemania and the top two contenders to challenge for the title at the biggest show of the year are Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. Both are in the Royal Rumble match tonight and there really isn’t another major favorite to win. Other than that we have John Cena and Seth Rollins challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Title in a triple threat. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

This was originally a six man elimination tag with Adam Rose and Xavier Woods added. They may have been dropped due to Woods’ ankle injury. The fans are entirely behind Cesaro to start as Big E. throws Kidd around. Some backbreakers get two on Kidd before Big E. launches Kidd into the air for a dropkick from Kofi. Off to Cesaro and the fans are thrilled. Big E. comes back in and hammers away on Cesaro, much to the crowd’s chagrin. Oh yeah they’re white hot tonight.

Kofi is dragged into the wrong corner for a double stomp with Kidd going much faster than his partner. Cesaro won’t let Kofi tag but he does roll the Swiss man up for two. The Cesaro Swing into the dropkick gets two and we take a break. Back with Cesaro holding Kofi in a chinlock as the fans think New Day sucks. Big E. gets all fired up and wipes the sweat from his brow before slamming Cesaro down for two. Kidd is sent outside and Big E. launches Kofi onto him to almost no reaction. Big E. spears Cesaro through the ropes and off the apron to the floor. I miss that spot. Or any Big E. spot actually.

The referee doesn’t see a tag to Kofi at first but Cesaro backdrops Big E. over the top for a big crash. Cesaro superplexes Kofi for a springboard elbow from Kidd for a very close two. Kofi kicks Kidd to the floor to break up a Sharpshooter attempt but Cesaro gets caught cheating on a sunset flip attempt. Trouble in Paradise is countered into the Sharpshooter on Kofi but Big E. makes the save with a belly to belly. Cesaro knocks the big man to the floor and pops Kofi in the face with a European uppercut, setting up a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin on Kofi at 11:00.

Rating: B. This got a lot better near the end but the match and commentary really tells you everything you need to know about the tag division at this point. With that one win, after about five losses, JBL thinks Cesaro and Kidd are in line for a title shot. Have we really sunk that low again? Win two matches and you should be the Tag Team Champions? Yet people still don’t want Ascension around? The near falls here were good and I wasn’t sure who was winning until the end, but that’s the first loss for New Day? Really?

The opening video talks about wanting to have your moment and being the one. We transition into a video on the triple threat and how everyone is fighting for the title.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

Ascension needs some steps to come down during their entrance. Cole points out that this isn’t for the Tag Team Titles. That could be because neither team is champions. The fans think Billy still has it as he armdrags Viktor down. Off to Dogg vs. Konnor with the big man driving Dogg into the corner. Viktor’s chinlock doesn’t have much effect so it’s off to Konnor for one of his own. Dogg finally gets up and dives over for the tag to Billy as everything speeds up. The Fameasser misses though and Fall of Man ends Gunn at 5:23.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as they’re setting up Ascension against various legendary teams, meaning we’re likely to see Too Cool and maybe the APA laying down for them in the future, setting up the title showdown against Ascension. Granted it’s not like beating the New Age Outlaws means much at this point.

We recap Sting debuting on Raw and staring down the Authority, allowing Cena to pin Rollins to save his spot in the title match tonight and get Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback their jobs back.

HHH and Stephanie are annoyed that they weren’t told about Sting debuting. If he walks in here again, HHH is going to destroy him. Heyman comes in and the ECW chants begin. His solution to the Sting problem: Brock Lesnar.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The Usos are defending and these teams have been trading the titles for the last few months. Mizdow is just ridiculously over. Miz shoves Jimmy into the corner but eats a shot to the face. The corner clothesline puts Jey down but he’s able to crotch Miz on the top. Mizdow does the same but in slow motion for a funny bit. He one ups it by diving into an invisible punch to the ribs before Miz throws Jimmy throat first into the ropes. The Reality Check gets two but Miz still won’t tag out.

The not very hot tag brings in Jey but Miz takes him down for the figure four as everything breaks down. Miz and Mizdow head outside and Jimmy dives on Mizdown with Jey taking out Miz a few seconds later. Back in and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Jimmy. Jey comes back in for a double superkick and the Superfly Splash but Mizdow makes the save. He follows it up with the Skull Crushing Finale to give Miz two on Jey. Miz’s superplex attempt is broken up for a sunset bomb from Jey, followed by the Superfly Splash from Jimmy to retain at 8:22. Mizdow didn’t seem interested in making the save.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here as these teams have run out of things to do to each other. Miz and Mizdow’s split seems imminent and I can’t imagine they make it out of the Rumble without a major showdown. It wasn’t a great match though and they would have been better off with this on the pre-show and the New Day vs. Kidd/Cesaro on the main show.

The expert panel (Booker T., Corey Graves and Alex Riley) talk about the show so far.

We look at the pre-show match.

The Stooges are playing the new WWE Immortals game when Seth Rollins comes in to ask why they’re not helping him get ready. He’s tired of being called the future and wants to be the present.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

This is the Total Divas match over who are the real stars of the show. Paige throws Nikki down to start as JBL says the Bellas have been twins their whole life. Off to Brie who walks into a double suplex, allowing the slow crawling cover from Paige. Natalya comes back in and slams Brie down before the Bellas start choking to take over.

The Brie Mode running knee to the chest gets two but Natalya fights out of a headscissors by lifting Nikki into an electric chair. Nikki misses a clothesline in the corner but Brie breaks up the hot tag to Paige. A big forearm to Natalya’s jaw is enough for the pin at 8:06 to end this far too long match.

Rating: D-. Oh come on now. A FOREARM??? They can’t even have Nikki hit her finisher for the pin? If you’re going to have Nikki pin Natalya, at least make this a title match. Oh wait that would be stupid because we’ve seen that match like 19 times now. Again, stop running through matches and save them for shows like this.

Roman Reigns says last year’s elimination record was cool but it’s nothing compared to this.

Stardust talks about the Cosmic Key and Goldust breathes a lot.

Rusev will crush everyone at Wrestlemania.

Miz says he’ll win and Mizdow agrees, but accidentally says he’ll win instead.

Big Show says he’s an angry and motivated giant. Roman Reigns and everyone else in the match will find that out for real.

Fandango says everyone underestimates the power of the tango.

Daniel Bryan thinks he can make it back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. YES he does.

We recap Lesnar vs. Cena vs. Rollins. Cena had defeated Orton to earn a title shot against Lesnar but the Authority added Rollins to the match to thank him for bringing them back. Rollins has started to stand up to Lesnar and even Curb Stomped him, meaning Lesnar wants to kill him too.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Lesnar is defending and we get big match intros. Rollins immediately bails to the floor and Lesnar hits the first German suplex on Cena. There’s the second German as Rollins comes in, only to get caught on Brock’s shoulders. The Stooges make the save so Brock suplexes them at the same time. Brock launches Seth back into the ring and Germans Cena again. All Lesnar so far.

Both challengers are easily suplexed again and there’s the Kimura to Cena. Brock even climbs onto Cena but Seth makes the save with the springboard knee to the head and Lesnar is in trouble. A double suplex puts Lesnar down and there’s an AA but Rollins throws Cena to the floor and only gets one on the champ. Both challengers are thrown to the floor and you can see everyone laying as Brock walks around the ring. Seth knocks Brock into the steps for a breather, leaving Cena to beat Rollins up inside.

The fans absolutely hate Cena, only to have Brock break up the Shuffle with rolling Germans. Rollins breaks it up for some reason though and knees Lesnar out to the floor. Now it’s Cena getting all fired up and cleaning house, only to have Rollins knock him outside. Seth tries a springboard onto Lesnar, only to get caught on Brock’s shoulders for an F5. John has to make a save so Brock feels the need to throw him down with another German suplex.

That’s not enough for Brock though as he loads up the announcers’ table (and destroys a monitor), only to walk into the AA. Brock doesn’t even stay down so Cena hits another, only to have Lesnar pop up again. A third AA gets two as Rollins makes the save, followed by the Curb Stomp for two with Cena making a save. Now the fans are impressed. Lesnar throws them both down again and goes outside, only to have Cena follow him out and spear the champ through the barricade.

Cena slams him hard into the steps and blasts him in the face with the same steps, knocking the champ onto the announcers’ table. Seth kicks Cena down and goes up for a top rope elbow through the table to put everyone down. That was one heck of a crash as the war continues. Back in and Rollins hits the low superkick for two on Cena but John grabs a popup sitout powerbomb for the same. Lesnar is receiving medical attention as Rollins counters a superplex attempt into the running buckle bomb for two.

Everyone is down again but Cena grabs the STF, only to have the Stooges come in for the save. Rollins plays Reigns in a Triple Bomb as a stretcher comes out for Lesnar. Cena kicks out at two so Rollins grabs the briefcase, only to miss the charge and fly out to the floor. The Stooges take a double AA and Rollins gets the single version but kicks out at two. We cut back to Lesnar who says he wants to stay out here. Cole says Lesnar has at least a broken rib. Rollins enziguris Cena down and the Curb Stomp connects for another near fall.

Rollins busts out a Phoenix Splash but Lesnar CHARGES back in for some German suplexes as Beast Mode is on. Seth flips out of a German though and knocks Lesnar silly with the briefcase, only to have Lesnar pop up with an F5 to counter the Curb Stomp onto the briefcase to retain the title at 22:45.

Rating: A. If there’s one thing WWE can do like no one else, it’s organized carnage. These guys DESTROYED each other for twenty two minutes and I would have believed anyone could have won at any time. Lesnar going into that other level is absolutely terrifying and you believe he could beat anyone at that point. Great stuff here and well worth going out of your way to see. They’re making Lesnar out to be unstoppable, meaning whoever gets to take the title off of him will be a huge star. You might even say they’ll be Reign(s)ing. And yes that was as stupid as it sounded.

Rumble by the numbers.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and it’s Miz at #1 and R-Truth at #2. The fans immediately want Mizdow but get a headlock from R-Truth instead. Feeling out process to start until Truth gets crotched on top. In at #3 is BUBBA RAY DUDLEY, complete with taped up glasses. It’s Miz getting the big beating and the wind-up elbow has Miz reeling. Truth (appropriately) helps with What’s Up and is even told to get the tables. You know the Philadelphia crowd is up for that. Miz gets back up and eats 3D, allowing Bubba to easily eliminate him.

Luke Harper is in at #4 as Bubba throws out Truth. They immediately start hammering on each other and Harper fights out of the Bubba Bomb before kicking Bubba in the jaw. A big lariat puts Harper down though and the ECW chants revive Dudley. Bray Wyatt is in at #5, complete with lantern. Bubba stares him down but Harper gives us a Wyatt Family reunion as the fans want D-Von. Harper throws Bubba out and it’s time for the big staredown.

They stand in place until Curtis Axel is in at #6 but Erick Rowan (who didn’t qualify for the Rumble) jumps him from behind though and whips him into the barricade, apparently stealing Axel’s spot. Harper looks at Rowan and wants a team up, much to Bray’s excitement. Bray and Harper join forces though and Rowan gets double teamed, only to have Bray dump both of them out to clear the ring.

The Boogeyman returns at #7 and Cole informs us that the guy coming out to I’M THE BOOGEYMAN is in fact named the Boogeyman. Bray smiles at him and stops a charge with a big clothesline, setting up the easy elimination. Sin Cara is in at #8 and Cole sounds bored out of his mind. Cara gets in a kick from the apron but Bray just decks him with a right hand. Sister Abigail connects and Bray is all alone again a few seconds later.

Bray grabs the mic and issues an open invitation because he has the whole world in his hands. Zack Ryder returns at #9, hits the Broski Boot, and is quickly Bray’s fifth elimination. Daniel Bryan is in at #10 to really pick things up. He immediately starts the kicks and has Bray in trouble in the corner. Even more kicks put him down as Fandango is in at #11. Bryan busts out even more kicks and an old school airplane spin but doesn’t throw Fandango out.

Tyson Kidd (complete with his addictive theme song) is in at #12 to slug it out with Bryan before a double cross body puts both guys down. Stardust is in at #13 as we’re firmly in the midcard portion. Cole says this is Stardust’s first Rumble to split a few hairs. We currently have Wyatt, Bryan, Stardust, Fandango and Kidd in the ring. Stardust and Fandango trade skinning the cat saves before Bryan belly to back suplexes Kidd out.

Bray gets knocked through the middle rope and Bryan follows with the Flying Goat, meaning both guys are still in as Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14. Stardust jumps him upon entry but eats a Diamond Cutter. Fandango takes the middle rope version, followed by Wyatt missing a charge and taking one of his own. Rusev is in at #15 and it’s time to clear out some space. He blocks a Diamond Cutter and dumps Page and Fandango, setting up a showdown between Rusev and Wyatt.

Daniel breaks it up with a top rope dropkick and unleashes more kicks, only to have Bray pop up and dump him out far earlier than I was expecting. Goldust is in at #16 as the crowd is just dead. Stardust tries to throw out Goldust (with Cole mentioning that Goldust was eliminated by his brother last year, despite saying Stardust was in his first Rumble. Like I said, splitting hairs) but Goldust saves himself. The fans start chanting for Bryan and them switch to booing.

Kofi Kingston is in at #17, giving us Kingston, Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. Bray catapults him over the top but Kofi skins the cat and comes back in with a springboard shot to the head. Everyone gets into one corner until Adam Rose is in at #18. You can hear every word of the songs now as the crowd just does not care at the moment. Kofi is thrown out but the Rosebuds catch him and walk him back to the apron. Rusev dumps Rose and Kofi a few seconds later and Roman Reigns is in at #19 to a lot less booing than I was expecting.

Roman starts cleaning house and dumps both Dust Brothers, only to get double teamed by Rusev and Wyatt. Big E. is in at #20 to clean house and give us a very powerful foursome of Big E., Rusev, Wyatt and Reigns. Mizdow is in at #21 but Miz runs out to say it’s his spot. Damien finally stands up to Miz and goes in to a good reaction, only to be dumped by Rusev. Jack Swagger is in at #22 and everyone keeps brawling until Ryback is in at #23.

Ryback busts out everyone with spinebusters as JBL incorrectly says Lex Luger is the only man to win the Rumble but never win the WWE Title (Duggan). The fans chant for CM Punk but get Kane at #24, giving us Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Big E., Swagger, Ryback and Kane. Dean Ambrose wakes the crowd up again at #25 and goes right for Wyatt. We get more brawling around the ropes until Titus O’Neil is in at #26 and is dumped in about thirty seconds (counting intro) by Reigns and Rusev.

Ambrose dropkicks Wyatt up against the ropes and Bad News Barrett gets lucky #27. The ring is getting full but no one is in any real danger of being eliminated. Cesaro is in at #28 and joins the fray. Rusev sends Big E. to the apron and then kicks him out to clear the ring a bit. Big Show is in at #29 and everyone stops to stare him down. They all gang up on him but Show shoves everyone down as Kane chokeslams Ambrose. Show does the same to Reigns before the monsters dump Ryback with ease.

Swagger is dumped by the power team as well, tying Kane for the all time record at 39 eliminations. Dolph Ziggler is in at #30, giving us a final group of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler. Dolph has to fight out of the chokeslam from Big Show and dumps Barrett. Cesaro swings Dolph around and gets him to the apron, only to be pulled out for the elimination. Ziggler goes up top and dives right into the KO Punch, allowing Kane and Show to easily dump him, giving Kane the all time eliminations record.

Big Show KO’s Wyatt and dumps him as well, leaving us with Ambrose, Reigns, Big Show and Kane as the final four. Reigns is bleeding from the side of the mouth as the brawl is on. The Shield fights out of a double chokeslam but Ambrose’s rebound clothesline has almost no effect on Show. Reigns knocks Show down and the fans just are not happy. Big Show and Kane double team Roman though before a chokeslam is enough to get rid of Ambrose.

So it’s Kane and Big Show vs. Reigns and the fans are LIVID. Reigns gets sent to the apron but Show tries to dump Kane, triggering a fight that has been going on for over fifteen years now. Reigns sneaks up from behind them and eliminates both guys to go to Wrestlemania at 57:23.

Rating: D+. I’m surprised by this but I really shouldn’t be. They actually went with Reigns vs. the giants to end the Royal Rumble? This match felt like a big tease from the company as they were setting up Wyatt, Cesaro, Rusev, Ambrose and Ziggler for this big showdown but then snatched it away to go with Kane and Big Show as the big monsters. That’s really what they think is the smart idea? And you know we’re getting Reigns vs. Big Show at Fast Lane, probably without Big Show doing a job for him because he doesn’t get pinned you see.

As for the rest of the match…..yeah I liked it, but man alive it was obvious where they were going with about twenty minutes to go. Bryan going out that early is a waste, though I’m fine with him not winning it. He had his big moment last year and it would be foolish to try and recreate it. Bryan can get the title later on in his other big moment and that’s all he needs to do.

The returns were fine but there was no big surprise at the end (that’s fine), and Reigns was just so obvious as a winner. Also, the commentary was getting REALLY annoying with all their stats, some of which just didn’t make sense. I didn’t hate this match, but Reigns is getting wedged into a spot he’s just not ready for whatsoever. Wrestlemania better have an amazing undercard, because Reigns vs. Lesnar is not going to cut it on top.

Post match Kane and Big Show destroy Reigns until The Rock makes a surprise run in for the save. House is cleaned but Rusev is back in! He was never officially elimianted…..so Reigns throws him out to officially win about three minutes after he won in the first place. Again, more teasing.

The Authority comes out as Rock poses with Reigns before letting Reigns point at the sign to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This could have been far worse and the Rumble isn’t even very bad, but good grief it felt like they looked at all the cool possibilities they had here and ran away from them as fast as they could to go with the status quo. The World Title match more than saves the show and the Rumble has its moments (some of them at least), but that last ten minutes or so just crippled anything they possibly had out of this match. I actually liked last year’s Rumble better if you can believe that. Just……stop deciding your outcome before you think for two seconds WWE. It would make your fans so much happier.

I’m not even mad at this ending. It’s just…there. WWE decided months ago that Reigns was going to be the guy because of whatever reasons they have and that’s what we’re getting, no matter what else is out there. It’s very dull when you know what’s coming and there’s nothing you can do about it. I can live with that when there’s no better option, but there are indeed better, or at least far more interesting and prepared options, than Reigns here.

Results

Ascension b. New Age Outlaws – Fall of Man to Gunn

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz

Bella Twins b. Paige/Natalya – Forearm to the face

Brock Lesnar b. Seth Rollins and John Cena – F5 to Rollins

Roman Reigns won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Big Show and Kane

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Bryan tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where King and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

That was fun. I really enjoy going back and doing these shows over again as a lot of them have great moments that you forget about over the years. The Rumble is a very unique show as it’s probably the only gimmick PPV that works almost every year. Over the years there have been a lot of gimmick shows like Survivor Series and most of them wind up being terrible at some point. The Rumble has been bad at times to be sure, but there has never been a period where the match wasn’t at least fun in some regard or valuable at the end of the day.

The best Rumbles tend to be the ones that follow the three act structure (dominant midcarder taking over to start, a lot of midcarders and lower guys in the middle, main eventers to wrap things up) with the best ones likely being 2000 and 2001. The comedy spots can help a lot as at nearly an hour, it’s hard to keep things serious the entire time. The only bad thing about it anymore is that it comes right before Elimination Chamber which takes away the feeling of the Road to Wrestlemania. Still though, it’s an excellent series and most are worth seeing if you haven’t before.

Speaking of Wrestlemania, I’ll be releasing the Redo series of that starting on March 10. I hope you enjoyed this as I did and it’s time for Wrestlemania season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: October 18, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness

This is an interesting week as Raw was a run of the mill show but Smackdown reached one of the biggest milestones you can achieve. Now in theory that should mean that Smackdown gets some more time on this show over Raw, but stranger things have happened around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rhyno vs. Konnor

They start with the power struggle and an exchange of chops goes nowhere. A short arm clothesline gives Konnor one and the front facelock goes on. Back up and a collision puts both guys down again but it’s Rhyno up first with a flying shoulder. Konnor kicks him in the face for two but misses a big elbow. Rhyno can’t hit a powerslam though and it’s an STO to give Konnor the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. I get that they’re trying to rehabilitate the Ascension a little bit and that’s a fine idea. The problem is that it’s not a practical one. You can’t have a team be that worthless for so many years and then just have them start winning without some kind of change. Maybe it’s a face turn, maybe it’s a gimmick overhaul or maybe it’s something else, but the fans aren’t going to buy them suddenly winning matches after being so pathetic for so long.

Quick look at the opening to Smackdown 1000 and the Evolution reunion.

Video on the Bella Twins turning on Ronda Rousey.

From Raw.

Here’s Rousey to say that the Bellas at least owe her an explanation. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying the people paid to see them and not her. They don’t owe her an explanation because this is show business and not show friends. Ronda disrespected them and disregarded everything the two of them have done for this business. It disgusts them to see Rousey as the face of the women’s revolution because Nikki deserves to be champion.

They made the term Divas mean something and children look up to her. If that’s the case, the future of America is worse than I thought. The Women’s Title wouldn’t exist without the Divas Title. What is she going to do? Try to break their arms? Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Ronda says she tried and thought they were friends, but now she knows they’re just a pair of do nothing Bellas.

They were there because of the men they were with and at Evolution, their arms are coming off. The only thing that is going to stop her is a referee and that hasn’t gone well in the past. Brie says the two of them have knocked down more doors in a week than Rousey ever has.

Rousey lists off the places she’s dominated before getting in the line of the promo with “the only door you ever broke down was to John Cena’s bedroom.” BIG gasp on that one. Rousey wants to fight now but Nikki just does her dance as security comes out to get rid of Ronda. They get taken down as well and Ronda calls the Bellas (now gone) out here again.

This was REALLY bad (save for that Cena line) with terrible delivery of awful lines and a story that no one with a brain is going to accept as realistic. Everyone came off looking worse here and it went on a good ten minutes longer than necessary. But hey, I’m sure TMZ will be talking about it.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Edge (with Tony Chimel doing his intro for old times sake), with the shoulder length hair again, for the Cutting Edge. This has always felt like his show because this is where some of his greatest achievements took place. He cashed in Money in the Bank on the Undertaker and had a No DQ match against Eddie Guerrero that people still talk to him about to this day. He even married and divorced Vickie Guerrero. However, he’s been watching the show for the last few weeks and now he needs to be Smackdown’s moral compass.

Therefore, his first guest is Becky Lynch, who Edge sees a lot of himself in. Becky says she modeled her career after him so that means a lot. Edge talks about not being someone who was supposed to succeed and having to scratch and claw their way to the top, just like Becky. The thing is though, Becky didn’t make the right choice.

If there was a friendship that got in Edge’s way, he crushed it, leaving a trail of burnt bridges. That’s not the right way, no matter how many titles you win. The path that Becky is on will lead to her sitting alone, looking at all of her titles on the wall, by herself. The bigger problem is she won’t even like herself.

Becky says it’s true that she doesn’t like herself because she loves herself. She tells Edge to get out of the champ’s ring and make sure you don’t hurt your neck again going through the ropes. Cue Charlotte to say that it’s not cool to go there. The fight is on with agents and referees having to break it up in short order.

Also from Smackdown.

World Cup Of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title. This is Rey’s first singles match for WWE in four and a half years. Nakamura takes him down to start and drops a knee for an early one. A front facelock has Rey in some more trouble but he’s right back out with a headscissors. Rey knocks him outside for the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope. Back in and Rey gets caught in the Tree of Woe and we take a break.

We come back with Rey hitting a top rope seated senton and a top rope hurricanrana getting two. Nakamura kicks him in the head but misses Kinshasa, allowing Rey to headscissor him again. After Nakamura crawls over to the ropes, it’s a 619 into the springboard frog splash for the pin at 10:10.

Rating: C-. This was watchable enough but some of the spots weren’t exactly hitting and Nakamura was his usually uninspired self. Mysterio looked good in spots but it certainly wasn’t a match that would make you thrilled to see him back. It’s more like he’s lost some weight and come back after not being around for a bit. I’m glad he’s back, but it wasn’t exactly anything major.

For a change, here’s something from Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

New Day is defending and since they’re wrestling, Booker T. and Jerry Lawler are running New Day’s commentary booth. Woods headscissors Sheamus down for a basement dropkick and an early near fall as we cut to Lawler and Booker for more analysis than the regular team gives in a week. Cesaro takes over on the arm and it’s off to Sheamus for a double elbow as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus missing a charge into the corner and the hot tag off to Big E. Cesaro comes in as well and gets Rock Bottomed out of the corner, landing on his head. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick and gets speared through the ropes, leaving Woods to hit a Shining Wizard for two on Cesaro. Back in and the Midnight Hour is broken up but Cesaro makes a blind tag. Big E. hits the Big Ending on Sheamus but gets Neutralized for two with Woods making the save as we take a second break in less than seven minutes.

Back again with Big E. missing a charge and getting caught in a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two with Kofi Kingston breaking up the cover due to feet on the ropes. The Bar loads up the announcers’ table but here’s Big Show to chokeslam Kofi through it instead, leaving Sheamus to Brogue Kick Big E. for the pin and the titles at 13:38.

Rating: C. This was the Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff “do something to make it memorable” title change and that’s fine. The tag division means nothing on this show so switching the titles doesn’t change a thing anyway. Hopefully the Usos can get back in there now as they’re more than overdue to be in the title scene again.

From Raw.

We go to the bowels of some building where Undertaker and Kane talk about the lack of respect. Michaels didn’t stay in the shadows out of respect but out of fear. They will unleash everything on DX for the first time ever and all of Shawn’s fears will be realized. HHH can crawl back to the board room and Shawn can hide in retirement. DX had three words for them, so they have three words for DX: Rest In Peace.

Zack Ryder/No Way Jose vs. Revival

Jose even has the full conga line with him. Dawson and Jose start and that means some dancing. Some arm cranking has Dawson in trouble and it’s off to Ryder for all of ten seconds. Wilder comes in and gets punched down but Dawson offers a distraction so Wilder can pull Jose down by the afro. To be fair it’s kind of Jose’s fault for having such large hair. Back from a break with Jose still in trouble as Wilder slaps on a chinlock.

Dawson comes back in and drops a knee for two but Jose elbows him in the face. The hot tag brings in Ryder to clean house and he slips out of a double suplex into a double neckbreaker. Revival heads to the floor and gets dropkicked, leaving Jose to high crossbody Wilder for two. Dawson makes a blind tag though and it’s the Shatter Machine for the pin on Jose at 9:58.

Rating: D+. I liked this a little more than I was expecting to with Jose getting to show off what he could do. That being said, there wasn’t much you could do with two jobbers against a good team like Revival. Of course you don’t get to know that much about Revival being good because there’s no time to get them on TV more than once every…oh few months more often than not.

From Raw again.

Shield vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler/Braun Strowman

Shield does their entrance through the crowd after using the stage earlier. Strowman tells Ziggler to start the match and show him something so it’s Dolph vs. Rollins to get things going. Ziggler takes him down with a headlock, saying he could do this all day. Ambrose and Rollins have an accidental collision and the ensuing argument lets Strowman run everyone over. Reigns gets dropped as well and we take a break.

Back with McIntyre still in control of Reigns and Ziggler coming in for the chinlock. Reigns shrugs him off but it’s McIntyre coming in and taking a clothesline. Strowman cuts him off with a corner splash, only to have McIntyre tag himself in and stomp away. That’s not cool with Strowman, who tags himself in and yells at McIntyre a bit. A missed charge in the corner lets Reigns muscle him up for the Samoan drop (not as effective since we saw the same spot earlier in the night) but McIntyre and Ziggler knock Rollins and Ambrose to the floor.

The Claymore/Zig Zag combination gets two with Rollins and Ambrose making the save. The hot tag brings in Rollins, who clotheslines McIntyre and tags Ambrose in to start cleaning house. Strowman blocks the double suicide dives but Reigns comes off the apron with the Superman Punch. Back in and Dean rolls McIntyre up for two with Ziggler making the save. Dirty Deeds hits McIntyre but the referee takes forever to cover, allowing Ziggler to shove Rollins into the cover for the break.

That means another fight and Ambrose tries Dirty Deeds but Rollins shoves him away. Ziggler shoves them together and gets two off the Zig Zag on Ambrose. Reigns breaks up the Claymore/Zig Zag combination and Strowman goes shoulder first into the post. McIntyre Claymores Strowman by mistake (he seemed to miss but they moved the camera just in time to cover it) and a spear cuts McIntyre down. The TripleBomb finishes Ziggler at 14:34.

Rating: C+. This was nowhere near what they did last week and that’s probably because it’s the third time this match has taken place in about ten days. Ambrose and Rollins’ issues can take a backseat for another week, but it’s pretty clear that this isn’t over yet. That being said, the interesting thing here is Drew, who seems all but poised for the big turn after kicking Strowman in the face.

Post match Strowman powerslams Ziggler but eats a Claymore (and a great one at that), allowing McIntyre to leave to end the show. To quote JR: “Oh I like this. I like this a lot.”

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah, it’s not the most surprising thing in the world that the 1000^th episode of the second biggest wrestling show in the world was treated like any other show. We did however get more of the Bella Twins, because that’s how WWE works. It was interesting that World Cup got almost no attention save for the one World Cup qualifying match, as WWE continues to try to hide the fact that the show is actually taking place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 15, 2018
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

We’re two and a half weeks away from Crown Jewel from…..wherever WWE wants to announce it from being at the moment. Tonight we have more World Cup qualifying matches, which seems to be the main force of the entire show. Other than that, expect the tall old guys to talk about the smaller old guys. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre to open things up. McIntyre declares them the greatest three man group in WWE history and they didn’t need matching suits to do it. We look at the end of last week’s show with Dean Ambrose walking out. After the show, he said he doesn’t think he fits in anywhere anymore. Back in the arena, McIntyre says they’ve broken the Shield.

Finally, Ambrose has had his eyes forced open and the Shield is broken. Strowman says that means there is no one watching Reigns’ back at Crown Jewel. Speaking of Crown Jewel, McIntyre is ready to qualify and win the tournament. Ziggler doesn’t know about that, because they might have to face off in the finals. McIntyre says it would be a shame if that happened because Ziggler isn’t him.

Cue Reigns and Rollins to say the team is fine. Ziggler asks where Ambrose is because he might just have to win in a forfeit. Rollins says Ambrose always shows up and Reigns talks about Strowman going to the back of the line. The fans start booing so Rollins sucks up to Philadelphia by talking about cheese steaks and how this is a fighting town. Let’s just do the qualifying match right now. This was longer than it needed to be and really didn’t change anything.

World Cup of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title. McIntyre headlocks him to start and holds onto that for a bit longer than you might expect. A shoulder puts Rollins down so he jumps up and starts an exchange of kicks to the face. Rollins hurricanranas his way out of a powerbomb to send McIntyre outside, of course meaning the suicide shove. Since it’s the most obvious move in the world, McIntyre catches him and hits a belly to belly.

McIntyre pulls the ring skirt up but gets sent into the barricade so here’s Ziggler for a distraction. That’s enough for Rollins to be pulled into the exposed steel underneath the ring to bang up his arm. Back from a break with McIntyre working on the arm (as he should be doing) but getting superkicked down. The reverse Alabama Slam is countered into a victory roll for two, followed by the Blockbuster for the same.

Rollins heads up top and catches Drew in the Tree of Woe, so of course McIntyre sits up and pulls him down by the head. You know, because he can just do that. Rollins is fine enough to run the ropes for a superplex into the Falcon Arrow (big pop) but McIntyre Falcon Arrows him first for two off a great counter. Back up and Rollins turns on the fire with a clothesline to the floor and back to back suicide dives to Ziggler and McIntyre. Ziggler breaks up the Stomp and here’s Ambrose from the crowd to even things up. McIntyre jumps Ambrose but gets Stomped on the floor. Only Rollins beats the count back in for the win at 13:30.

Rating: B-. Good match with Ambrose coming in for the help, though I’m not sure what the point was in having him walk out to end the show and be back here like nothing happened just half an hour in. I’m very relieved that they didn’t have McIntyre lose clean here, and at the same time the Intercontinental Champion doesn’t take another bad loss. This was actually thought out booking for once, which is always well received.

Post break Rollins and Reigns are glad Ambrose showed up on Lunatic Time. That’s not cool with Dean, who says he’s only good for some laughs until they need to be bailed out. Reigns and Rollins say that’s not what they meant as Dean leaves to get read for his match.

Stills of Undertaker vs. HHH and its fallout at Super Show-Down.

We see D-Generation X reuniting last week.

We go to the bowels of some building where Undertaker and Kane talk about the lack of respect. Michaels didn’t stay in the shadows out of respect but out of fear. They will unleash everything on DX for the first time ever and all of Shawn’s fears will be realized. HHH can crawl back to the board room and Shawn can hide in retirement. DX had three words for them, so they have three words for DX: Rest In Peace.

There will be a battle royal at Evolution with the winner getting a future Women’s Title match.

Ember Moon/Nia Jax vs. Dana Brooke/Tamina

I actually forgot Tamina worked here. Her not having a match since the Royal Rumble might have something to do with that. Tamina takes Ember down into a chinlock to start and we go split screen to mention a bunch of people in the battle royal, including Torrie Wilson as we continue the false narrative that Torrie ever had any business in the ring.

Tamina shoves Ember across the ring and it’s off to Jax for a power battle that no one was asking for. They headbutt each other and Tamina escapes the Samoan drop. She can’t pick Nia up though and it’s a headbutt to stagger Tamina instead. The second Samoan drop attempt works but Tamina can’t cover. It’s off to Dana, who takes the Eclipse for the pin at 7:36.

Rating: D-. This is one of the things I’ve been dreading about Evolution: the pretending that certain people are any good or belong on such a stage. Torrie was eye candy who could barely do more than two moves and Tamina is the least interesting wrestler in years. I know they need to fill in the roster, but can we please stop pretending that all of the past women are important or that a lot of them belong anywhere near a major show? There were some incredibly talented female wrestlers, but that doesn’t mean they’re all on the same level because they wrestled here at the same time.

Post match Tamina superkicks Jax and teams up with Ember to throw her over the top. Ember tries to throw Tamina out but Dana eliminates them both.

We look back at the Bella Twins turning on Ronda Rousey. And no Cole, the world hasn’t been talking about this. Just stop.

Here’s Rousey to say that the Bellas at least owe her an explanation. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying the people paid to see them and not her. They don’t owe her an explanation because this is show business and not show friends. Ronda disrespected them and disregarded everything the two of them have done for this business. It disgusts them to see Rousey as the face of the women’s revolution because Nikki deserves to be champion.

They made the term Divas mean something and children look up to her. If that’s the case, the future of America is worse than I thought. The Women’s Title wouldn’t exist without the Divas Title. What is she going to do? Try to break their arms? Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Ronda says she tried and thought they were friends, but now she knows they’re just a pair of do nothing Bellas.

They were there because of the men they were with and at Evolution, their arms are coming off. The only thing that is going to stop her is a referee and that hasn’t gone well in the past. Brie says the two of them have knocked down more doors in a week than Rousey ever has.

Rousey lists off the places she’s dominated before getting in the line of the promo with “the only door you ever broke down was to John Cena’s bedroom.” BIG gasp on that one. Rousey wants to fight now but Nikki just does her dance as security comes out to get rid of Ronda. They get taken down as well and Ronda calls the Bellas (now gone) out here again.

This was REALLY bad (save for that Cena line) with terrible delivery of awful lines and a story that no one with a brain is going to accept as realistic. Everyone came off looking worse here and it went on a good ten minutes longer than necessary. But hey, I’m sure TMZ will be talking about it.

We look back at Kurt Angle winning the battle royal last week.

Angle, dressed as Jimmy Buffett for some reason, is in the back with Bobby Roode and Chad Gable. He’s enjoyed his vacation and is ready for the World Cup. The two of them leave and No Way Jose comes up for some dancing. Baron Corbin comes in and says Angle can have a warmup match tonight….against AOP. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen.

World Cup of Wrestling Qualifying Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

They waste no time here with Ziggler suplexing him down and grabbing an early sleeper on the mat. Dean fights up and takes him to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Dean can’t get a Cloverleaf so he heads up top, only to get caught with a super X Factor for a big crash.

We come back from a break with Ziggler missing a suplex and getting catapulted into the post. Now the Cloverleaf works but Ziggler is able to make the ropes. Ambrose gets two off a chickenwing facebuster but here’s McIntyre to interfere, only to have Rollins follow him out for the save. Rollins helps Ambrose up but Dean shrugs him away (it’s not clear if Ambrose knew who it was), allowing Ziggler hit a superkick for the pin at 9:36.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and for once, they went with the right idea by not extending a match that didn’t need to be extended. They wrestled for a bit and then went to the finish to advance the storyline. You don’t need to do anything more than what’s going on here and that’s the right idea.

Post match Ambrose shoves Rollins away and leaves but Seth follows him up the ramp and gets in a shoving match. Reigns comes out to break it up so here’s Corbin to make Shield vs. McIntyre/Ziggler/Strowman later tonight. Third time in ten days.

Strowman, McIntyre and Ziggler are ready for the Shield. McIntyre wants Strowman to destroy Ambrose and Rollins but Braun doesn’t want to hear the lecture. If either of them screw up, they’ll get these hands.

Jinder Mahal vs. Finn Balor

OH MY GOODNESS ENOUGH ALREADY!!! You have TEN TEAMS in this tournament and there is no other combination you can have to do the weekly preview??? Sumir Singh is back from his injury. Mahal takes Balor down into a very early chinlock but Balor is right back with the Sling Blade and a running corner dropkick. The Coup de Grace finishes Mahal at 1:50. Well they made good time.

Post match here are Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush with the latter saying Balor knows he wishes he looked like Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs. Tyler Breeze

Rush says hang on a second because Lashley needs to pose a bit more first. After a minute plus of showing off the muscles, Lashley takes Breeze into the corner but misses a right hand. Breeze gets shoved down but hits an enziguri to stagger the big man. Breeze’s middle rope crossbody is countered into the delayed vertical suplex. Rush starts up the chanting again and Lashley puts on a full nelson. Bored of that, it’s a powerslam to cut off Breeze’s comeback and it’s the twisting Dominator for the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D. Just a squash to establish the heel character here and the Rush heel act is starting to grow on me. It’s so easy to hate and as long as they don’t do anything stupid with it, they should be fine. Lashley has all the tools and if you can keep him away from a microphone, he’s that much better.

Here are Trish Stratus and Lita for a chat. Lita talks about having fun in Philadelphia but here are Alexa Bliss and Mickie James to interrupt. They take some shots at Trish and Lita, including Lita making fun of the lips and Mickie mocking Trish’s point. It’s been a long time since Trish and Lita have been in the ring but they can go through their closets and find the wrestling gear box. Mickie: “It’s WAY in the back.”

Trish and Lita make Allen Iverson “we talking bout practice” jokes (the original quote is over sixteen years old) and say maybe they should practice now. Mickie: “They’re serious. They took their jackets off.” No fighting ensues of course. Who in the world wrote the women’s promos tonight?

The Riott Squad makes fun of Bayley.

AOP vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is in the full El Conquistador body suit, including the mask. I’m sure that includes the boot inserts that make him taller than Angle usually is. Corbin comes out as Angle dances to start. A German suplex doesn’t work and the ankle lock can’t even go on. Rezar boots Angle down as Graves thinks something is off. The powerbomb/neckbreaker combination is good for the pin at 59 seconds.

Post match the mask is ripped off to reveal some no name. The real Angle runs out and Angle Slams Corbin on the stage.

The Riott Squad spray condiments on Natalya’s door.

Ruby Riott vs. Natalya

Hang on though as Natalya says she isn’t coming alone so here are Bayley and the returning Sasha Banks. Riott takes her down into a chinlock as Renee compares the Squad to the witches in Hocus Pocus. Graves: “Is that a Bette Middler movie? I think they’re a little more talented than Bette Middler.” Renee: “…WOW.” A cravate keeps Natalya in trouble and Ruby hits some shoulders in the corner. Riott talks some trash but gets tripped down into the Sharpshooter, drawing Logan in for the DQ at 2:58.

Post match the fight is on with Banks saving Natalya from a triple team. The Squad gets knocked to the floor so the new friends can stand tall.

Elias yells at a production guy for not having a green guitar pick.

Here’s Elias to talk about how everything here is built on a truth that even John Cena knows is true: WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS. Earlier today he was at lunch with Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, who said true pain is psychological. True pain is going out there and pretending that you care about this horrible city.

After insulting the Eagles’ mascot, he’s ready to play the song but Apollo Crews of all people interrupts. Apollo says he figured it was his turn to interrupt Elias since everyone else has. They trade some barbs and Elias says this is what happens when you interrupt him. Elias misses a right hand and Crews hits an enziguri, followed by a very delayed gorilla press to send Elias bailing.

Shield vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler/Braun Strowman

Shield does their entrance through the crowd after using the stage earlier. Strowman tells Ziggler to start the match and show him something so it’s Dolph vs. Rollins to get things going. Ziggler takes him down with a headlock, saying he could do this all day. Ambrose and Rollins have an accidental collision and the ensuing argument lets Strowman run everyone over. Reigns gets dropped as well and we take a break.

Back with McIntyre still in control of Reigns and Ziggler coming in for the chinlock. Reigns shrugs him off but it’s McIntyre coming in and taking a clothesline. Strowman cuts him off with a corner splash, only to have McIntyre tag himself in and stomp away. That’s not cool with Strowman, who tags himself in and yells at McIntyre a bit. A missed charge in the corner lets Reigns muscle him up for the Samoan drop (not as effective since we saw the same spot earlier in the night) but McIntyre and Ziggler knock Rollins and Ambrose to the floor.

The Claymore/Zig Zag combination gets two with Rollins and Ambrose making the save. The hot tag brings in Rollins, who clotheslines McIntyre and tags Ambrose in to start cleaning house. Strowman blocks the double suicide dives but Reigns comes off the apron with the Superman Punch. Back in and Dean rolls McIntyre up for two with Ziggler making the save. Dirty Deeds hits McIntyre but the referee takes forever to cover, allowing Ziggler to shove Rollins into the cover for the break.

That means another fight and Ambrose tries Dirty Deeds but Rollins shoves him away. Ziggler shoves them together and gets two off the Zig Zag on Ambrose. Reigns breaks up the Claymore/Zig Zag combination and Strowman goes shoulder first into the post. McIntyre Claymores Strowman by mistake (he seemed to miss but they moved the camera just in time to cover it) and a spear cuts McIntyre down. The TripleBomb finishes Ziggler at 14:34.

Rating: C+. This was nowhere near what they did last week and that’s probably because it’s the third time this match has taken place in about ten days. Ambrose and Rollins’ issues can take a backseat for another week, but it’s pretty clear that this isn’t over yet. That being said, the interesting thing here is Drew, who seems all but poised for the big turn after kicking Strowman in the face.

Post match Strowman powerslams Ziggler but eats a Claymore (and a great one at that), allowing McIntyre to leave to end the show. To quote JR: “Oh I like this. I like this a lot.”

Overall Rating: D. We went back to the old days here as this show felt like it lasted about nine hours. I don’t know if it was the HORRIBLE women’s segments (with bad writing and bad delivery) or the feeling that we had seen so many of these matches before but I don’t remember a show being this interminable in a very long time. It doesn’t help when you’re building to two shows and a lot of what’s going on at one of the shows has nothing to do with what happened here. There were some good parts here, but the pacing and overall feel of the show were disasters. And don’t let the Bellas or Rousey near a mic for a long time.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre via countout

Ember Moon/Nia Jax b. Dana Brooke/Tamina – Eclipse to Brooke

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose – Superkick

Finn Balor b. Jinder Mahal – Coup de Grace

Bobby Lashley b. Tyler Breeze – Twisting Dominator

AOP b. Kurt Angle – Powerbomb/Neckbreaker combination

Natalya b. Ruby Riott via DQ when Sarah Logan interfered

Shield b. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre – TripleBomb to Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

A lot of stuff happened on Monday.  Like, more than usual.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-monday-night-delights/

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 8, 2018
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

We’re done with Super Show-Down and that means we have less than a month to go before Crown Jewel. The big story coming out of Saturday seems to be an impending tag match between four people with more than two hundred years of age between them. Other than that, it’s time for Roman Reigns to remember that he’s Universal Champion. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here are HHH and the still bald Shawn Michaels to talk about spending 25 years climbing a mountain. On Saturday in Melbourne, Australia, they made it to the top. It turns out that they were lied to the whole time and we see a long package on Saturday’s long main event, complete with Undertaker and Kane turning on them. HHH talks about respect, like the kind you get from fighting back to back with someone for years. Or living up to your word when everyone else tells you not to.

Shawn says respect is a two way street. The flight from Melbourne to Chicago is a very long trip and they’ve had a long time to think. He thought about the respect that never was there in the first place but when they landed, HHH asked if he was ready. HHH knows Shawn is ready, but are Undertaker and Kane ready? They reveal the DX shirts because they want DX vs. the Brothers of Destruction at Crown Jewel. Not exactly shocking, but they could have done Shawn Michaels and HHH instead of DX, which tends to be less serious than this story would likely require.

Bobby Lashley vs. Kevin Owens

Lio Rush is at ringside and has his own mic to keep up the hype during the match. Lashley shoulders Owens down to start so they head outside with Owens punching him in the face. Rush isn’t sure why the fans are cheering for Owens, so he shows the fans how to cheer for Lashley, being booed out of the building for the second time in about two minutes. Owens hits a big flip dive tot he floor and the fans REALLY like that. A whip into the barricade takes us to a break.

Back with Lashley holding a chinlock and Rush hyping things up even more. Owens fights up and has had it with Rush, chasing him to the floor. Lashley sends Owens into the barricade and stomps away, much to Rush’s delight. Back in and Lashley cuts him off with a spinebuster but the delayed vertical suplex only gets two. You know, because it’s a suplex and he’s a former World Champion.

Owens breaks out of a full nelson and superkicks him into a Stunner for a close two as Rush talks about still being in the fight. The frog splash is broken up with a crotching as Owens’ knees are tied up in the ropes for some extra pain. A spinning Dominator finishes Owens at 13:00.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if that was a double turn but it was certainly a single one. I have no idea who thought leaving Lashley out there as a face for six months was a good idea but at least they’ve gotten him to a character that could work very well. Oh and more importantly than anything else: it happened while he was winning a match! Why is that such a hard thing to understand?

Post match Rush tells Lashley to go back and do some more, so he wraps Owens’ knees around the post.

Cole talks about the WWE World Cup, an eight man tournament (four from Raw, four from Smackdown) and introduces a video on the first entrant: John Cena.

Finn Balor and Bayley aren’t worried about facing Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox again. Rush and Lashley come in to chant LASH-LEY some more, with Rush saying they’re the real too sweet combination.

Here’s Elias to say he’s the real legend around here. He doesn’t think much of John Cena and sings a song about him, throwing in a line about the Cubs losing in the playoffs for some serious booing. Cue Ronda Rousey of all people to cut him off though and it’s time for a match.

Ronda Rousey/Bella Twins vs. Riott Squad

Liv and Brie start things off and yes, they actually think this is a good idea in Chicago. Liv slaps her in the face but gets taken down, allowing Brie to miss a YES Kick. They get into a catfight and fight to the floor for a big staredown. Back in and it’s Rousey taking Morgan down by the arm. The entire Squad runs in fear as we take a break. We come back with Nikki fighting up and hitting (I think?) her spinning kick out of the corner. Brie comes in and gets caught with an STO on the floor to put her in trouble.

A shoulder to the ribs cuts Brie down again and an ugly hiptoss sets up a running knee to the face. Brie fights up from Ruby’s chinlock but Riott draws Rousey in so the Squad can keep Brie in trouble. A few forearms are enough to bring in Rousey and it’s time to hurt people. The spinning Samoan drop sets up the armbar with the Bellas running interference (including Logan laying down before Nikki grabbed her) for the tap at 9:25.

Rating: D+. Just a shortened version of the Saturday match with the Squad being able to beat up the Bellas and having no chance against Rousey. I know we’re setting up Rousey vs. Nikki which probably has to start tonight for the sake of the calendar. Not a good match, but at least it’s going to get tot he point soon enough.

Post match the Bellas jump Rousey and laugh at her. Thankfully Rousey shrugs them off and throws them both down, only to get sent into the post on the floor. Some more whips send her into the steps and barricade for a bonus. I know why this had to happen, but is anyone buying the Bellas as a match for Rousey? Even both of them at once?

Jinder Mahal/Alicia Fox vs. Finn Balor/Bayley

Mixed Match Challenge rematch with Jinder slamming Balor down for a chinlock less than fifteen seconds in. Balor fights up without much effort and brings Bayley in for a hurricanrana as we take a break. Back with Bayley fighting up from a chinlock but getting slammed back down again. Bayley finally sends her to the floor and makes the hot tag off to Balor for some house cleaning. An Eye of the Hurricane gets two with Fox making the save. The women fight to the floor and it’s an enziguri into the Coup de Grace to finish Mahal at 7:26.

Rating: D. These matches aren’t interesting, either on Raw or on Mixed Match Challenge. Balor and Bayley are bigger stars the Jinder and Fox no matter what they do and there’s no changing that. At least they kept it short enough here, but when that’s the best thing that you can say about a match, it’s a bad sign.

Dolph Ziggler gives Drew McIntyre and Braun Strowman a pep talk before their rematch with Shield. McIntyre doesn’t want to hear advice from the guy who lost on Saturday but Strowman tells them to focus on helping him become Universal Champion. It’s best that way you see.

Heath Slater tells Baron Corbin that he wants in on the World Cup. Corbin declines, because Slater isn’t very good.

Battle Royal

The winner is automatically in the World Cup tournament. The wrestlers are a bunch of no names (though one has a Chile sash), plus a guy in a Los Conquistador mask. Corbin comes out to put himself in the battle royal because he wants to prove that he’s worthy for the honor. He introduces everyone, including a Russian, an Egyptian, a Mexican (El Hombre Sin Nombre), a Polish wrestler (who is rather short), a wrestler from Antarctica, a Swede, EL CONQUISTADOR (Cole: “Is it Edge or Christian? Matt or Jeff?”), a wrestler from Luxembourg and of course Corbin.

Everyone goes after Corbin to start but he fights them off and starts eliminating people, though El Conquistador is chilling on the floor. Corbin dumps everyone and poses but El Conquistador comes back in for some German suplexes. We get some jumping jacks and an Angle Slam for the elimination to give El Conquistador the win at 3:46.

Rating: D. This was all angle and when one of the jobbers is named Seabass (Why can’t they just call him Copeland?), you kind of know what you’re in for. Angle going on to Saudi Arabia is fine, though it’s getting a little annoying having those cards be more stacked than Wrestlemania.

And it’s Jose Luis Rivera. Or Kurt Angle. Either way he’s a heck of a Spanish dancer.

Post break Angle looks like he needs oxygen and says he’s still on vacation.

Ember Moon vs. Nia Jax

Ember starts fast with an enziguri but gets slammed down without too much effort. A sleeper doesn’t get Moon very far so she goes with a hurricanrana. Nia gets caught with a baseball slide to the floor and there’s the suicide dive, which doesn’t even put Nia down. A missed charge sends Nia into the LED board though and that’s a countout win for Ember at 2:58.

Here’s Trish Stratus to say last week’s Moment of Bliss was a Moment of BS. Instead, it’s time for a Moment of Stratusfaction but here are Alexa Bliss and Mickie James to cut her off. After a short joke, Alexa talks about how she idolized Trish growing up. After all these years now, she’s learned that Trish really sucked. If Bliss had been around back then, Trish wouldn’t have even been able to get in the same ring with her.

Trish says come get in the ring right now so Bliss and Mickie do just that with the latter saying not so fast. Mickie brings up beating her in Chicago at Wrestlemania but Trish says they’ll both find out what a Hall of Fame beating feels like. If that’s the case, maybe we should just make it a tag match. Trish likes the idea, but thinks it’s an EXTREMELY difficult decision to pick a partner. Or it could just be Lita, who is here as well. The brawl is on but Mickie gets away before the moonsault.

The Shield given an old school hold the camera promo, talking about how this is a brotherhood and the results are the same either in Melbourne or Chicago.

Ascension vs. Bobby Roode/Chad Gable

Before the match, Konnor promises to take them both to the wasteland. Gable sends Konnor to the floor to start but Viktor is right back up with a running elbow to the face for two. The stomping in the corner begins and it’s off to a chinlock as the fans chant for CM PUNK. In this match, as in the sixth week of this feud, chant on people. Gable rolls over for a tag to Roode so house can be cleaned. There’s the Blockbuster to Konnor but Gable tags himself in for the Rolling Chaos Theory and the pin at 4:19.

Rating: D. So after SIX WEEKS of this stuff, we’re right where we could have been after….I don’t now, two? Roode is just now having issues with Gable? I can’t blame the fans for booing this for a second as it’s ridiculous to have this one lame story go on for so long. Just turn Roode heel already. They’ve done it several times almost at the drop of a hat tonight, so why is Roode so difficult?

Before Roode can yell at Gable, here’s the AOP to take all four of them apart.

We look back at the opening segment.

DX video, focusing on their comedy stuff. If you’re trying to make this serious, why show this stuff? The people who already know DX know who they are and how dominant they can be, so why go this route?

Here’s Paul Heyman to say he’s here to see a fight. He finds it interesting that Reigns and Strowman beat each other up on Saturday and now they’re here after a twenty hour flight for the fans’ entertainment all over again. While they’re doing that seven days a week and twice on Sundays, Brock Lesnar is in his own bed in his own house before waking up to a home cooked meal.

He’ll then run a mile to the Death Clutch Gym, which he designed to make it easier to become a two sport World Champion. Lesnar is on his own while Reigns has to keep an eye on Ambrose and Rollins. For Lesnar, it’s about me and now we and he’ll win at Crown Jewel. Shield’s entrance cuts Heyman off and panic ensues.

Shield vs. Braun Strowman/Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

It’s a big staredown before the bell until McIntyre runs Rollins over to start. Ambrose comes in for a double suplex and some clubbing forearm shots to Drew’s face. That’s enough of that so it’s off to Strowman vs. Reigns with Roman not being able to Samoan drop him. Reigns gets saved from a double suplex and a double clothesline puts McIntyre and Ziggler on the floor. Strowman thinks better of fighting all three of them at once and goes outside for some yelling instead.

Back from a break with Reigns in trouble until he punches Ziggler out of the air. Strowman comes in and misses a charge into the post, allowing Reigns to hit the Samoan drop. It’s off to Rolling to speed things up but he spends too much time tuning up the band, allowing Ziggler to avoid the Stomp. The Buckle Bomb gets two instead as everything breaks down. Ambrose and Rollins hit the double suicide dives but Strowman is ready for them. Reigns takes out everyone with the BIG dive and we take a second break.

Back again with Strowman cranking on Rollins’ neck and handing it back to McIntyre, who cuts off a hot tag and kicks Rollins in the face. Ziggler gets catapulted into the corner and McIntyre takes an enziguri, only to have Strowman knock Ambrose and Reigns to the floor. Strowman yells at Ziggler, who yells right back until Strowman grabs him by the throat. That brings Drew into Strowman’s face until Rollins knocks McIntyre into Strowman for two. Rollins brings Ambrose in to pick the pace way up, including a suicide dive.

A swinging neckbreaker gets two more on Drew but it’s too early for Dirty Deeds. Ambrose has to elbow Ziggler down, allowing McIntyre to spinebust him for two. Rollins comes back in and suplexes Ziggler to the floor, leaving Dean to slug it out with McIntyre. A double clothesline puts both of them down and Strowman posts Reigns. Dean’s dive onto Strowman is caught so he spins it into a DDT to put both of them down as well. There’s a spear to Strowman but Drew is waiting for Ambrose with the Claymore for the pin at 21:58.

Rating: B+. This was a lot better than their Australia match with a ton of action for the last five plus minutes and a finish that actually surprised me. I’m very, very pleased that McIntyre is getting this kind of attention and protection as he’s now pinned Ambrose and Rollins in back to back weeks. I’m really hoping he gets the rocket push when this team with Ziggler ends, because it’s going to rock.

Post match Ambrose walks off on his own, leaving Rollins and Reigns confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There wasn’t a lot of good wrestling tonight by MY GOODNESS there was a lot of storyline stuff packed in there. I know it’s not the best show in the world but this wasn’t boring once (ok maybe once in the Ascension match), making the show a lot easier to watch. They set up a bunch of stuff for both shows (far easier this time since the shows both have their own roster) and certainly kept things moving. Good show, though some better wrestling would have helped a lot.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Kevin Owens – Spinning Dominator

Ronda Rousey/Bella Twins b. Riott Squad – Armbar to Riott

Bayley/Finn Balor b. Alicia Fox/Jinder Mahal – Coup de Grace to Mahal

El Conquistador won a battle royal last eliminating Baron Corbin

Ember Moon b. Nia Jax via countout

Bobby Roode/Chad Gable b. Ascension – Rolling Chaos Theory to Konnor

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman b. Shield – Claymore to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

And it was roughly a 1938% improvement.We’re about to get ready for Wrestlemania so this is going to be quick.

Met New Day and they’re every bit as funny as they are on TV.  They kept people laughing the whole way through, Big E. did his funny voices, Kofi is made for the live crowd (as he kept pointing and smiling at fans) and Woods is just entertaining in general.

Met Hillbilly Jim and Gene Okerlund.  Both of them were very nice and talked to me about being from Kentucky.  I mentioned that we were on our honeymoon and Okerlund looked at her and said he could see why.  So Okerlund thinks my wife is attractive.  I think I can live with this.

Then it was off to the Shawn Michaels line which took awhile but was more than worth it.  Shawn couldn’t have been nicer and smiled when I said he was the only person to ever make me jump out of my chair.  On top of that he hugged my wife as she was crying over meeting him.  That’s easily the highlight of the weekend for her, if not of her life.

Also saw the Bellas, Eva Marie, Emma and Sharmell at various points.  The camera doesn’t do Emma justice.

FAR better experience overall today with multiple people at most booths, better names in the second section (New Day was there for an hour, were replaced by Sami Zayn for the second hour and then it was Ted DiBiase and Gerald Brisco for the second half.  NXT had Samoa Joe instead of the low level women.) and far fewer people.  That was the major problem yesterday: too big of a crowd with not a lot they wanted to do.  Great day here and the Axxess that I loved from a few years back.

Aside from the important shows, my favorite reviews to look back on are the shows where people say I got the ratings totally wrong. I’ve changed my opinion on shows before via a second look so maybe that’s going to happen here. This week’s show was pretty much hated but I had a decent enough time with it. Let’s get to it.

We start immediately with the big story of the night: the Authority isn’t here (and won’t be here despite saying they’re trying to make it all night). Therefore Corporate Kane is in charge and gets to book the show on his own so he makes himself vs. Seth Rollins in a lumberjack match. Why doesn’t he make this a title match you ask? Plot convenience of course.

Throughout the night, the Authority keeps trying to get hold of Kane and ask him what the main event is but bad reception keeps cutting them off. Why doesn’t HHH send him a text or an e-mail so he can get the information when the reception is good and doesn’t have to be on his phone at that time? Plot convenience of course. Granted it wouldn’t matter in this case as the Authority found out about the match and told Kane he had to change it.

Naturally this gave us Demon Kane vs. Rollins because that’s still supposed to be different. This wasn’t the best idea, especially given that the fans aren’t thrilled to see them fight in the first place, so now they get to fight twice. Monday Night Football was a weak game and they had a chance to do something good, but we get Rollins vs. Kane I instead of the only match at the pay per view. I know I defend this company a lot, but there are times where they do stuff that boggles my mind.

Ambrose and Orton had a male bonding segment that was interrupted by New Day. As usual New Day stole the show with pure charisma and asked why Orton has been a part of so many groups. This led to a very long tag match (by Raw standards at least) that didn’t do much for me but could have been far worse. If my best option is nearly twenty minutes of pretty good wrestling, I’ll gladly take it over the drek that Raw is capable of putting on any day. Even on a new day, like the team that won the match due to some face miscommunication.

Things aren’t boding well for Orton/Ambrose heading into the pay per view. For one thing they lost here and even worse they’re actually on the pre-show. That screams angle for later in the show to me, as they’ve been in one of the biggest stories on the show and the card currently has six matches. I could easily see a fight breaking out to set up Orton vs. Ambrose on the show, because why build what could be a solid midcard pay per view match when you can throw it out there with an hour of build?

Video on Undertaker vs. Lesnar, which would air again (or at least a very similar version) later in the night. Well that’s nice of them. It’s not like either guy can be bothered showing up and making me want to see the match so I’ll take what I can get.

Nikki beat Naomi in a nothing match but the fans chanted for Sasha to fill in most of the time. The more I think about it the more I’m glad they haven’t added Sasha to the title match in the hopes that we get past Nikki’s rematch and move on to something else, because you know this company loves itself some rematches.

Dolph Ziggler answered the US Open Challenge and lost like everyone else does. It was another good match but when are they going to pick something for Cena to do at the pay per view? Word on the street is that he’s leaving for a few months after the show but at the moment there’s no one to challenge for the title and no real prospects, unless they throw Big Show in there again. Would that really be a big surprise at this point? You would think Ziggler wins it here but I guess this was the payoff to the accidental superkick. Every day that goes by scares me even more that we’ll get something stupid at the pay per view.

The Dudleyz squashed the Ascension. At least they’re on TV.

Sheamus and King Barrett beat Neville and Cesaro in a nothing match. Barrett has said he wants to be a tag wrestler and Sheamus/Barrett would be fine enough for a team. I’d like to see Cesaro/Neville actually win something but they seem to be the latest acts on the doomed bulletproof list.

Roman Reigns came out and gave a big speech about how Bray was trying to take away his livelihood. This has been described as horrible but I really liked it. What was far worse was the obnoxious Chicago crowd jeering the whole thing because they can’t shut up for five minutes. They decided a long time ago that they don’t want to see Reigns (they’ll take anyone but him I assume) and no matter what he says, they’re going to boo. This gets annoying quickly and unfortunately that’s often what decides everyone’s reactions to the speech. Roman got to the point and delivered, which is a big improvement over his usual stuff.

In something I really don’t like, Reigns beat Braun Strowman by countout. I could live with this if it was like Strowman’s debut match against Ambrose where it was a squash, but in this case Roman hung with Braun the whole way and basically knocked him out to win. That shouldn’t happen for months but this is WWE where the idea of CHILL OUT AND WAIT is sacrilegious. Not a good brawl either and that’s not a good thing, especially with Braun losing and being made to look beatable this early.

Here’s the column on the Lana/Rusev/TMZ fiasco:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/10/14/new-column-the-worldwide-leader-in-not-knowing-the-difference/

Then Ryback beat Rusev in about three minutes because Vince loves publicity as long as it’s controlled publicity.

Kevin Owens squashed Kalisto to end one of the best uses of the mini feuds that I’ve seen in a long time. They don’t need to do their usual tropes so let Owens beat up a midcard tag team instead. The story works fine and Owens vs. Ryback is built up even more. Simple, yet effective. I love that idea.

Brie Bella pinned Charlotte in a tag match because the way to get someone new over in the division is to give them the title and then have them lose almost every match. Paige and Natalya fought a bit to pad out the match. I do like the idea that they have more than one Divas story going at the same time, but they could have better ideas than Brie Bella pinning the Divas Champion.

Kane pinned Seth Rollins off a tombstone. This really doesn’t surprise me at this point and it shouldn’t surprise you either. Neither should Rollins retaining the title in a boring pay per view match.

So….yeah I’m not sure what I was thinking. Ziggler vs. Cena was good but not good enough to make up for a lot of the boneheaded moves going on here. This is looking like the weakest pay per view I’ve seen in a long time and WWE really doesn’t seem interested in making anything of it. Lesnar vs. Undertaker might as well not even be happening because neither guy seems interested in building it, leaving us with a main event of Kane vs. Rollins. Which we saw here. And it sucked.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: August 27, 2015
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jimmy Uso, Rich Brennan

It’s hard to say what’s going to happen tonight as the big story coming out of Raw is the return of Sting, who I can’t imagine is going to be here tonight. There’s always a chance of some fresh Wyatt Family stuff, as this show has become the main ground for the Shield vs. Wyatts feud, which isn’t the worst thing in the world. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a clip of the Dudley Boyz returning on Monday.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. Shocking I know. Harper talks about our eyes and ears being shut by the lies we’ve been told. We’re all dead and we don’t even know it but Bray Wyatt’s truth will give us new life. Bray says he doesn’t just throw out words like brother because family means everything to him. Sister Abigail has given him so much in this life and just when he thought he had nothing left, she provided him a savior. That’s what being a family is all about. Abigail’s eyes light up when she talks about Braun Strowman and now it is time.

Cue Reigns and Ambrose with the former saying it is what it is. That wasn’t the first time they’ve been whipped so if he and Dean are going down, they’re going down swinging. Ambrose: “I’ll take the ugly one.” There are always points in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles line, intentional or not. Strowman is ready to go but Bray calls his men off and leaves.

Ascension vs. Dudley Boyz

Bubba takes Konor into the corner to start and asks if he knows who they are. D-Von comes in and runs Konor over but gets kicked down into the corner. It’s quickly back to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly, followed by What’s Up. Bubba calls for the tables but Konor breaks it up. The attempt, not the table. Back in and Ascension gets in a little offense, including a jumping knee to Bubba’s face. Not that it matters as a quick clothesline allows the hot tag to D-Von for some house cleaning. Bubba comes back in off a blind tag and 3D ends Konor at 5:10.

Rating: C-. This was fine and just a way for the Dudleys to show that they’re back. There’s nothing wrong with running through your old standards before they come back with the bigger stuff later on, especially considering they’re probably going to get a title shot at Night of Champions.

Post match it’s table time but New Day comes out with signs, including “Save a table, break a Dudley” and “hashtag give tables a chance.” Viktor gets powerbombed through the table and New Day panics.

Neville vs. Kevin Owens

This could be good. The threat of a kick to the head sends Owens into the corner and a headscissors puts him on the floor. Neville misses a baseball slide though and Owens blasts him with a clothesline. Back in and a torture rack neckbreaker (cool move) gets two for Kevin and we take a break.

We come back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and striking away, followed by a missile dropkick for two. The German suplex sends Owens to the floor but this time Neville is smart enough to duck the clothesline. Instead it’s a superkick to set up the Red Arrow but Owens rolls away before it can launch. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Neville at 8:19.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but there’s only so much they can do with less than five minutes of the match actually airing. It’s nice to see Owens getting back to back wins, but I’m worried about where Neville is going. There’s only so much he can do, but the hero character could take them somewhere.

The Bellas get catty with Team PCB over Paige being the leader but never showing up because of Tough Enough. A tag match is set up for later. High school style drama: empowering women around the world.

Bella Twins vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Team BAD is on commentary because Heaven forbid all of these teams aren’t in the same place at the same time. Jimmy has recused himself from commentary to avoid a personal conflict. Nikki and Charlotte get things going as BAD rips on the Bellas for their singing on Total Divas. As usual, I love that something that happened two and a half months ago on Total Divas (some of it happened backstage at Battleground) is never mentioned until after the show aired.

A double dropkick puts Nikki down so it’s off to Brie, who gets her head slammed onto the mat. Back to Charlotte who misses a knee to give Brie a target and one of her kicks actually connects for a change. A leg lock doesn’t get Brie anywhere so Charlotte kicks her out to the floor. Everything breaks down as Nikki pulls Becky off the apron, leaving Charlotte to roll Brie up in the Charlotte’s Web for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this means the Bellas are mortal and PCB has the momentum now or something, even though there still seems to be no advancement in this story. The Divas Revolution continues to be nothing more than a way to drag new Divas in so the Bellas can have fresh names to go over in the end. I had some hope that things would turn around with Summerslam ending but the first week is the same as all the previous ones: meaningless matches taking place while Nikki gets closer to the record.

Here’s Seth Rollins to address what happened on Raw. This Monday was supposed to take him from legendary to immortal. He mentions cashing in at Wrestlemania and being the first man to hold both titles at once (save for Goldberg, whose titles don’t count I guess because all those titles being unified only counts when they want it to. I like it better this way though as the idea of the World Heavyweight Championship being the NWA/WCW Title was one of the most ridiculous things even WWE had ever tried to pass off). Actors should be fighting to play him in his biopic.

Here’s a clip of Sting’s unveiling and subsequent beating. Rollins brags about being on top of the mountain while Sting has spent years down in the minor leagues. So why does Sting think he can ruin Seth’s moment without provocation? Rollins is going to finish what HHH started at Wrestlemania when the Architect faces the Artifact.

This got better as Rollins kept going but that’s the problem: it felt like he was still going for the sake of going, not because he had anything else to say. That’s a major problem with so many WWE promos: they’re designed as one size fits all, but not everyone speaks the same. Look at this one for example. Rollins could have cut this in half and said the same thing. Orton is the same way. He has to talk forever when it’s clear that he’s covered everything in a fraction of the time, but WWE has decided that this is how you do promos and everyone has to be the same.

Sheamus says he’ll kick Ambrose’s head off tonight.

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev/Big Show

Big Show throws Ryback around to start but Ryback kicks away in the corner. Something like a spear puts Ryback down up against the ropes. The chokeslam doesn’t work so Ryback shoulders Show down. That wasn’t a bad power sequence. Show runs him over in turn but Rusev tags himself in, much to Show’s annoyance, and we take a break. Back with Rusev dropping elbows on Ryback and ignoring Show’s requests for a tag. Rusev: “I don’t trust you giant!”

Ziggler gets knocked off the apron but the distraction lets Ryback score with a spinebuster. Off to Ziggler vs. Big Show and the giant gets put down with the swinging DDT. A superkick gets two but the Fameasser is countered into the Alley-Oop and the KO Punch knocks Dolph out. Rusev tags himself in though and slaps on the Accolade, only to have Show KO his partner. Show walks past the black hole that Ryback has fallen into as Ziggler covers Rusev for the pin at 10:16.

Rating: C-. So I guess Big Show is a face again. That guy turns more often than I have to change the oil in my car so he must have been overdue. Big Show vs. Rusev does nothing for me, but I think I’d rather see that instead of forcing myself through another Lana/Ziggler love fest.

Clips of the end of Undertaker vs. Lesnar and Brock leaving Bo in a heap on Monday.

Video on Jon Stewart screwing John Cena at Summerslam and Monday’s fallout.

Ambrose and Reigns try to figure out what Sheamus means by respect the hawk. Sheamus better learn to respect Dean’s fist and his boot. Reigns will take care of the Wyatts.

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

Now I know the Wyatts are either going to run in to end the match or just after it’s over, but how refreshing is it to not have Dean fighting one of them for a change? Ambrose vs. Sheamus isn’t the most thrilling match in the world, but I’ll take it over Dean vs. Wyatt or Harper again.

Sheamus takes over to start and dumps Dean to the floor to turn it into a brawl. Dean comes right back by throwing him inside for a clothesline to take it back to the floor, only to be sent into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus kneeing him down onto the apron and slamming him out of a suplex. The Brock Lock doesn’t make Dean tap out so he pulls himself up, only to get planted with a sitout powerbomb.

Six forearms to the chest have Dean in even more trouble but he gets in some forearms to Sheamus’ chest to even things out a bit. A big clothesline drops Sheamus and Dean is all fired up. The bulldog out of the corner sets up la majistral of all things to give Ambrose two. Dean’s suicide dive connects and another big clothesline knocks Sheamus silly. Of course we’ve got Wyatts and the distraction sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to because they didn’t try to make this a wrestling match. Just let these two beat each other up for about ten minutes and then let the rest take care of itself. The Wyatts were the obvious ending but at least Sheamus isn’t being treated like a loser for a change.

Post match Reigns comes out for the save and is smart enough to Superman Punch Harper as fast as he can. Strowman is waiting for him though and Roman’s right hands have almost no effect. Braun slams him face first into the mat and chokes Reigns out, leaving the Wyatts posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Standard Smackdown fare here with almost nothing interesting or worth seeing. The ending to the show was the same as when Strowman debuted on Monday and Show is still having issues with Rusev. It’s back to normal with two hours of talking, average matches and nothing that won’t be done on a bigger stage in four days.

Results

Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Konor

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Charlotte’s Web to Brie

Dolph Ziggler/Ryback b. Rusev/Big Show – Ziggler pinned Rusev after a KO Punch

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick

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