I was thinking it would be a half hour version of Countdown.And it’s a half hour version of Countdown. I have no idea why they dropped Countdown, which is pretty much the easiest show in the world to do and the format was as basic as you could ask for, but instead we now get this, which is the exact same thing but with almost all new names instead of anything historic.
To give you an idea of what I was in for, the first show was called Trendiest Divas, meaning we’re already in Twitter territory. The top of the list of course? The Bellas, with a special video on Stephanie to close things out. Yeah…..I need to just watch Countdown reruns.
Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015: Wet Hot American Summerslam Build
Monday Night Raw Date: August 10, 2015
Location: Xfinity Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We have less than two weeks before Summerslam and the question at the moment is whether or not John Cena is going to be able to defend his US Title in the main event against World Champion Seth Rollins due to his recently broken nose. The majority of the card is set already so the next few shows are just going to be about firming up the existing programs. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Rollins to open the show, complete with another video of the knee to the nose. Rollins is still wondering where Cena is, as he issued his challenge for Summerslam last week but there hasn’t been a reply yet. Where has Cena been? Jamming on the new Dr. Dre album and contemplating reigniting his rap “career?” Cena is straight out of action, not straight out of Compton.
Rollins doesn’t understand why he hasn’t heard from Cena as John is scheduled for Tough Enough tomorrow. If he can be on that show, it makes Seth think that Cena is cowering from the champ. Rollins gets word that Cena is here but it’s via satellite. We get a picture of Cena with only his mouth moving out of a late night talk show sketch.
“Cena”, in Rollins’ voice, says Yabba Dabba Doo and says he’s going to Tough Enough to apply for a new job. It’s gone from Hustle, Loyalty and Respect to surgery, recovery and rehab. Cena is giving up because his nose was so destroyed and there’s no way he can beat Rollins and because he looks like he got a nose job from Picasso.
Seth talks about last week’s WWE World Title Open Challenge but here’s Cesaro to interrupt. Cesaro doesn’t like hearing Rollins going on and on and on and on, but he does like hearing about another Open Challenge. Rollins says not so fast because Cesaro hasn’t earned it, but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt as well.
Kevin says Cesaro believes in himself because of a bunch of CESARO SECTION signs, but why should either of these two have any say when neither of them can beat John Cena? Cena beat Rollins a few weeks back but Owens pinned Cena, so he should get the shot. Now it’s Rollins coming out to make fun of Owens’ gut and Cesaro’s glasses but Rollins says Tom Brady has a better chance of getting a free meal in Seattle than any of them do of getting a title shot tonight, so they can all get out of here.
This brings out HHH, who didn’t like Rollins saying he doesn’t care what the Authority thinks. The doctors have told him that Cena is 50/50 for Summerslam, so Rollins might need a backup opponent. Therefore, tonight there’s going to be a triple threat match with Cesaro vs. Orton vs. Owens, and the winner gets a title shot against Rollins TONIGHT. There were some funny lines in here, which makes me think the WWE writers had nothing to do with it. This also ran too long, which isn’t surprising as they could have cut this WAY down.
Team BAD vs. Team Bella
PCB (their new name after an adult site had already taken Submission Sorority. You can’t make that stuff up) is on commentary. In an inset interview, Team BAD debuts the term Belladashians and I want to reach for a gun. Naomi elbows Fox in the face to start but it’s off to Nikki for two off a back elbow. BAD takes over on the champ though with Naomi doing her corner wiggle, earning her a spinebuster from Nikki for two. Nikki’s spinning kick out of the corner drops Naomi again and we take a break.
Back with Sasha getting two on Nikki as PCB laughs at the idea of the Bellas starting the Divas Revolution. Nikki finally gets free and makes the hot tag to Brie, who is as over as she’s ever been since it’s her husband’s home territory. Brie cleans house as everything breaks down but Tamina gets in a few good shots. The superkick is loaded up but Brie gets a HORRIBLE looking rollup for the pin on Tamina at 9:00. Come on, it’s a ROLLUP. How can you not do that properly?
Rating: C. This was fine for the most part but the ending sequence was a letdown. I like the idea of putting Brie in there where she’s going to be popular, but I’m getting really tired of the Bellas not knowing if they’re faces or heels from one week to another. You can’t have their personalities on Total Divas and then expect people to cheer for them on Raw. Well at least you can’t if you have the slightest bit of intelligence about you.
Everyone brawls post match and the Bellas and Fox are knocked to the floor, leaving everyone else to have a staredown. So much for winning meaning anything.
Stephen Amell is here.
New Day vs. Los Matadores
Kofi’s grin as he skips to the ring is greatness. New Day takes over early on and we hit the rotating stomps on Diego in the corner as Woods plays cheerleader on the floor. Big E. slams Diego down for two but he misses a charge into the post. The tag brings in Fernando to speed things up with some weird shouting and a springboard flip dive to take Kofi down. Woods gets Kofi out of the way of a charge but Torito takes him over with a hurricanrana. The Midnight Hour is enough to put Fernando away at 4:01.
Rating: D+. It’s just a squash but it’s nice to get the Matadores out of the running for the title shot. I don’t think anyone would have bought them in there and it never would have worked. I’m really hoping we aren’t stuck with New Day vs. Prime Time Players again but adding another team or two would spruce things right up.
Post break New Day is dancing and singing in the back when Renee Young comes in and says it’s New Day vs. the Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons. New Day thinks we should just add Doom, Men on a Mission and Harlem Heat but then decide that a four way is fine. Renee even joins in on the clapping. I’m very glad WWE has basically said Los Matadores losing there meant nothing as they’re instantly in the title match anyway. Why do we watch these TV matches again?
HHH gives Rollins a pep talk. It’s a wonder that Rollins isn’t sitting on his daddy’s knee for this one.
We recap Reigns issuing a challenge on Smackdown for himself/Ambrose vs. Wyatt/Harper at Summerslam, which was accepted at the end of the show. Take note, as this is one of the only times all year that something actually happens on Summerslam.
Cesaro vs. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
No one gets an entrance as they’re all in the ring when we come back from a break. Owens gets double teamed to start so he bails to the floor, leaving Orton to roll Cesaro up for a fast two. Cesaro can’t swing Owens so he gets two off a double stomp instead. Orton pops back up for a pair of t-bone suplexes but Owens is able to post Cesaro and snap Orton’s throat across the top rope.
A backsplash gets two on Randy as this is very fast paced so far. The fans are behind Kevin as he hammers Orton down in the corner. Cesaro comes back in and Orton is sent to the floor. That’s fine with Owens who knocks Cesaro outside with him, only to have Orton drop Cesaro back first onto the barricade. Owens drops Cesaro onto the barricade as well but Orton sends Kevin into it so he won’t feel left out.
All three get back in with Owens busting out a string of European uppercuts, only to walk into Orton’s backbreaker. Cesaro high cross bodies Orton for two more but he has to counter the RKO into a Crossface. Randy grabs a rope but it doesn’t count in a triple threat because it’s No DQ, so Orton crawls to the floor for the break. Owens knocks Cesaro to the floor and hits a flip dive to take both guys out as we take a break, with Cesaro holding his knee.
Back with Cesaro on his feet in the corner but getting sent into the buckle for the Cannonball to give Owens another near fall. Owens goes up top but has to fight off a superplex. That’s fine for one person, but Orton and Cesaro are easily able to double superplex him down in a cool looking visual. It’s Cesaro covering for two but Orton will have none of that.
They slug it out instead and Randy gets swung, setting up the Sharpshooter. Cesaro lets go because of Owens, but the Swing is kicked away, sending Cesaro into Orton. Randy is fine enough to powerslam Owens though, sending both guys to the apron for a double Orton DDT.
Cesaro breaks up the RKO and hits a nice dive to take Owens out, followed by a springboard twisting European uppercut for two. That was one heck of a sequence. Cesaro takes Owens up to but gets shoved down, only to put his knees up to block the Swanton. A superkick takes Cesaro’s head off but it’s an RKO to block the Pop Up Powerbomb. Cesaro eats an RKO as well, giving Orton the pin and the title shot at 18:15.
Rating: B+. Yeah Orton won, but if Cesaro won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Cesaro getting pinned. On the other hand, if Owens won here and lost to Rollins tonight, people would have complained about Owens getting pinned. Now on the third hand (find a friend who will lend you a hand), Orton can win and then lose to Rollins and people will only complain about it being Orton in the main event slot again, as it was pretty clear he would be when he came out for the opening segment. Really good match of course, as you would expect with those three in there.
Ambrose said he didn’t have a friend growing up, but it’s nice to have one now so he can get bailed out of jail in Laredo. Reigns thinks Wyatt wouldn’t do anything for Harper because they’re not family. Ambrose knows how Reigns likes his coffee, water and beer, which is proof that they’re brothers. Believe that.
We get quick thoughts from various legends and wrestlers about the history of Undertaker and how amazing the Streak really was. Heyman wants to hear about the myth of Brock Lesnar, which leads to a variety of people talking about how unique Brock’s skills really are and how you can only hope to survive instead of defeating him.
We see some clips of the Streak ending and people talk about what a shock it was. Heyman’s look of astonishment when the pin actually happened was perfect. Then fifteen months later Undertaker interrupted Brock squashing Rollins at Battleground and a huge brawl ensued the next night on Raw. The talking heads are split on their pick for Summerslam. This was every “they’re both so awesome” segment you’ve ever seen.
Undertaker and Lesnar will both be here next week, in Brock’s hometown of Minneapolis.
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Reigns and Wyatt are at ringside. Ambrose slugs away at Harper to start as I think we get a SEA-HAWKS chant early on. A big side slam plants Dean for two but he low bridges Harper to the floor for a running standing elbow from the apron as we take an early break. Back with Harper Gator Rollins Harper and putting on a chinlock. Wyatt has taken Byron’s chair so Byron is left standing. Fans: “SIT DOWN BYRON!”
Ambrose fights out of a chinlock and scores with a tornado DDT but Dirty Deeds is countered. The fight spills outside with Dean blasting Wyatt over the table and heading back inside for the rebound clothesline on Harper. Reigns intercepts Bray before he can interfere but eats a superkick from Harper. That earns Harper a suicide dive from Ambrose but Dean gets crotched back inside. The discus clothesline puts Dean away at 9:35.
Rating: C. I liked this more than I would have expected to given how many times we’ve seen them fight. The tag match at Summerslam should be fun, but it doesn’t quite feel like a huge match. It’s still not really clear why Wyatt hates Reigns, but at least there’s enough of a backstory there to warrant another match.
It’s time for MizTV, but first of all Miz has to rip on Amell, saying that once Stardust runs through him, call Miz up for some rebranding and acting lessons. Tonight’s guest is Daniel Bryan and it take a bit for the chants to wear down. Miz asks for quiet so the chants get even louder. Bryan, in a funny timid voice: “Miz wants you to shut up so you better be quiet!”
Bryan finally gets a chance to speak and says he isn’t just here to be on MizTV. Of course he wasn’t going to miss Raw in Washington and it’s time for that SEA-HAWKS chant again. Miz reminds the people that he’s a Cleveland Browns fan (that explains so much) before bringing up mentoring Bryan on the first season of NXT. Bryan mocks Miz’s Hollywood career and wardrobe, but thinks that his own accomplishments are due to hard work and all the fans around the world. Miz asks about Bryan’s medical status, which is still not great. That brings Bryan to his new book, which is a New York Times bestseller, and Tough Enough.
Miz goes on to Ryback and the Intercontinental Title, which should be awarded to Miz after all this waiting. Cue Big Show to call Miz a cross dressing Jedi manure spreader. The fans tell Big Show to retire but he says find someone to retire him. This brings out the returning Ryback so Miz bails, but Bryan throws him back inside to meet the monsters. Ryback cleans house and poses with Bryan to end things.
Video on Charlotte.
It’s a three team Divas elimination tag at Summerslam.
Mark Henry vs. Rusev
Lana is on commentary and confirms that Dolph will be back after Summerslam. Summer quickly gets on the apron for a distraction but Lana pulls her down. That’s fine with Rusev who superkicks Henry down, only to have both girls come in for the no contest at 1:07.
Summer puts Lana in the Accolade and a Rusev flag falls.
We recap Neville vs. Stardust over the last week.
Neville vs. King Barrett
Neville starts fast, kicks Barrett in the head and scores with the Red Arrow for the pin at 1:20. Total and complete squash because that’s what Barrett does.
Stardust comes in to lay Neville out but stops for a staredown with Amell. He knocks Amell’s hat off and Stephen jumps the railing, jumps to the apron and jumps over the top rope to tackle Stardust in a pretty impressive athletic display. Security quickly breaks it up.
After a break HHH yells at Amell, but Stephen wants a tag match at Summerslam. HHH laughs the idea off, but Amell shouts him down and offers to sign any waivers he has to sign. Ever the genius, HHH agrees to a tag match between Wade Barrett (yes Wade)/Stardust vs. Amell/Neville at Summerslam. HHH: “Don’t bring a stunt man.”
Sheamus doesn’t care if Rollins or Orton wins tonight because he might just cash in on either of them.
WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins is defending and stalls on the floor early on. The champ comes in and the threat of an RKO sends him bailing to the floor as we go to the final commercial. Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Orton makes a comeback with clotheslines and the powerslam for two. That’s enough for Seth as he goes outside to get the belt, only to eat another clothesline from Orton. He drops Rollins on the announcers’ table before they head back inside where Seth nails the low superkick.
The champ gets crotched on top and superplexed down for two. Orton can’t follow up but is able to counter the Pedigree, only to have his DDT countered. Rollins his one of his own and teases the RKO but settles for another failed Pedigree attempt. Orton backdrops him to the apron for the springboard knee but Seth dives into the RKO (in one of those spots where he was clearly just diving that way so he could dive into the move), drawing in Sheamus for the DQ at 13:38.
Rating: C+. Yeah fine. I think we all knew this was the ending and there was nothing wrong with that as they weren’t going to change the title just two weeks before Summerslam. Good enough match though as these two have chemistry, but they need to get off this Sheamus vs. Orton stuff already because it’s really not interesting.
Post match Sheamus Brogue Kicks Rollins and goes to cash in but eats the RKO to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show this week but they moved things forward going into Summerslam and that’s all that mattered. I’m digging the idea of the title being defended on TV as even though it’s highly unlikely that we’d see a title change, the mere chance that it could happen makes the match feel better. I liked this show a lot better than the recent weeks and while it’s sill not excellent, at least it’s a step in the right direction and the kind of show they needed to have tonight.
Results
Team Bella b. Team BAD – Rollup to Tamina
New Day b. Los Matadores – Midnight Hour to Fernando
Randy Orton b. Cesaro and Kevin Owens – RKO to Cesaro
Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose – Discus lariat
Rusev vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Lana and Summer Rae interfered
Neville b. King Barrett – Red Arrow
Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 3, 2015
We’re in Summerslam mode now and it’s very fun to see where things are going. You can see most of the card now and I’m actually liking the card that is being presented so far. Last week was about Cena vs. Rollins, so now it’s time to focus on the other main event, assuming Cena can actually go for the pay per view. It’s an Undertaker vs. Lesnar night though so let’s get to it.
The show opened the only way it could have, as we had a ten bell salute to Roddy Piper. He deserves every tribute he receives, including people wearing Piper shirts all night and throwing some Piper lines into some promos. I have no issue with any of this whatsoever and it made me smile all night long. I’ll miss Piper quite a bit as his talking is as great as anyone ever could have been and his promos should be homework for any wrestler today.
Seth Rollins, in a NEVER SHUTS UP shirt, opened the show and we got our first handful of roughly 1839 viewings of Cena’s nose being busted open last week. Rollins has the idea of a match vs. Cena at Summerslam with both titles on the line, but if Cena can’t show up, he can just forfeit the title instead.
I’m not a fan of title vs. title matches, but since Rollins has made it clear that he doesn’t care about the US Title, why not let him cost Cena the title so someone can get the win over Cena while also keeping Cena look strong going forward? The match will be fine, but I’d rather it just be a regular World Title match for the sake of the US Title going forward.
As for tonight, Rollins is issuing an open challenge of his own, but the opponent has to be under 6’0 and weigh under 200lbs. The idea was that it would be El Torito, but Neville came out for a good match instead. This was a better match than I was expecting with some awesome false finishes, including Neville hitting the Red Arrow but Rollins got the foot on the ropes. Rollins wound up winning with the Pedigree and it still doesn’t work for him. He’s a fast paced, high flying wrestler and then he stops to use that kind of a move for the sake of his daddy figure. This was a solid match and did you really expect anything else?
New Day and Ascension beat Los Matadores and the Lucha Dragons. This is completely different than when the opposite happened on Smackdown, because this match actually matters and is likely going to lead to New Day getting the shot at Summerslam. They seem to be building to a multi-team match, which could be interesting if they did it right, which means it isn’t likely to be all that interesting.
Charlotte/Becky Lynch beat the Bellas when Nikki tapped out to the Figure Eight. As I’ve covered about a dozen times already, none of this is going to matter until we get to September when Nikki can actually lose the title. My guess is there’s a big tag match at Summerslam because we haven’t seen enough of them lately. As long as we don’t get the rumored Divas Tag Team Titles, as that would be one of the worst ideas WWE has had in a very long time, which is covering a lot of ground. They’re not needed and would just be another trophy for the Bellas, which is why we’re likely getting them so Nikki can be a Triple Crown Champion or whatever.
Paige and Naomi set up a match for later with Naomi calling out Ronda Rousey. I doubt it leads anywhere, but imagine the reaction if she actually shows up and just destroys one of them one night.
MizTV started with Miz saying none of this would be happening without Piper’s Pit. Simple, true, classy, and a moment that gave me a genuine smile. The guests were Owens and Cesaro, who argued about the merits of actually winning something vs. walking out all the time. Cesaro wanted to fight then and there but Owens bailed again. Cesaro is looking like a star, but both guys need the win at Summerslam. I’m not sure who is winning though and that’s the best feeling in wrestling.
Rusev squashed Mark Henry with superkicks instead of the Accolade, which is nice for a change.
Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Sheamus were ready for the main event. Sheamus kind of fit with this group, but it felt far more like the presentation than Sheamus itself.
King Barrett squashed Zack Ryder. It’s not much, but it’s better than Barrett losing all of his matches before winning the rematches. I’ll take small victories where I can get them.
Paul Heyman came out for his big speech about Undertaker. I think you can fill in the details yourself, but the highlights saw Heyman reading last rites to Undertaker and saying that this match is bigger than Wrestlemania. That’s a great line that makes you feel how big the match really is, and I bought the whole thing. I’m not wild on the match happening and I don’t really want to see either guy win (though Brock should) but the idea is solid.
Paige beat Naomi with the PTO in an average match. There isn’t much else to say here.
Arrow’s Stephen Amell will be here next week to face off with Stardust. This could be really cheesy, but Amell is in great shape and looks tough so it won’t be a disaster if they treat it well.
Ambrose and Reigns are all out of bubblegum. That gave me another smile.
Ambrose, Reigns and Orton beat Sheamus, Wyatt and Harper in every main event six man tag you’ve ever seen. I’m kind of digging these six man main events to close the show, but it doesn’t give me a ton of incentive to stick around until the end of the show if there’s nothing big to build towards. At least the matches have been at least ok.
Overall, this was another moving day episode as most of the card can be figured out or has already announced, so it’s time to make the fans want to see those matches. They’ve done a solid job of keeping the matches from being obvious, which is a really good sign going into the second biggest show of the year. Summerslam looks good on paper, but they’ve got two more Raw’s to mess it up.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – August 3, 2015: Let’s Get Rowdy
Monday Night Raw Date: August 3, 2015
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We have less than three weeks to go until Summerslam and the big question is whether or not John Cena will be able to breathe well enough to challenge Seth Rollins for the World Title. Rollins broke Cena’s nose last week to put him on the shelf, but tonight is all about Brock Lesnar, who is back to address the issues with Undertaker from two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.
As you might expect, this show is dedicated to Rowdy Roddy Piper and we get a ten bell salute with the roster on stage in Hot Rod shirts.
We see the Piper tribute video, set to a song about never taking your life for granted.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Seth Rollins, in a NEVER SHUTS UP shirt to mock Cena, with something to say. Rollins says he’s the only person that can slow himself down but he has a problem with sympathy. Last week he destroyed John Cena’s nose and if a picture is worth 1000 words, then this video is priceless. We see the knee to the nose from last week (that’s four times tonight) and hear a THANK YOU ROLLINS chant from the crowd.
Rollins didn’t feel bad about what happened because he’ll break more noses down the line. However, it’s the first time he broke the nose of the face that runs this place. We see some post show pictures of Cena’s nose and my goodness it looks awful. As soon as Rollins saw that, he knew that it was time to stop the match and award him the US Title, but Cena took advantage of the sympathy and stole a win.
That will never happen again, so Rollins has a proposition for Cena: one more match at Summerslam, title for title. If Cena doesn’t accept, Cena should just forfeit the title to Rollins, who promises to walk out with the belt anyway. As for tonight, San Jose is the place to be. “Not because of any of you. It’s because I’m here.” This is the place where John Cena held his first US Open Challenge, but everyone knows Rollins can do anything Cena does even better, so let’s have a WWE World Heavyweight Championship Open Challenge…….now.
After a break, Jojo is in the ring to ask Rollins about the open challenge. There are two rules to this challenge: the opponent must be under 6’0 and under 200lbs. Therefore, the only option is El Torito. Torito’s music starts playing but that’s not who comes out.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Neville
The fans are behind Neville as he spins out of a wristlock to start. Neville flips over him in the corner and Seth gets caught in the running hurricanrana but is smart enough to roll away before the Red Arrow can launch. Instead it’s a cross body to put Rollins on the floor and a huge corkscrew dive to take him out as we go to a break. Back with the champion in control and getting two off a running clothesline.
Off to a chinlock for a bit before Neville comes back by superkicking Rolling out of the air. A German suplex off the ropes followed by a dropkick get another two, followed by the delayed German for a third straight near fall. The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for a two so close that the fans gasp at the kickout.
Seth goes up top but Neville is right there with a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Red Arrow for three but Rollins had a foot on the ropes. Dang these are some hot near falls. JBL has the right idea: “COVER HIM AGAIN!” Neville takes his sweet time before going up again and only hits the mat. The Pedigree retains Rollins’ title at 13:16.
Rating: B-. This is the kind of match that Rollins needed after last week’s loss. It’s no classic or anything but Rollins won clean over a guy he should have beaten. Neville loses nothing by getting pinned and Rollins gets a good looking win. What more can you possibly ask for in a TV match?
New Day/Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons/Los Matadores
Rematch from Smackdown with the Prime Time Players on commentary again. Los Matadores double team Kofi to start and a springboard flip dive gets two for Diego. Viktor comes in and kicks Diego to the floor and we go to a break. Back with Diego getting dropkicked down for two before it’s off to Viktor for a jumping knee to the face. Diego dives over for the hot tag to Sin Cara as everything breaks down. Cara hits a bunch of dives to the floor and Kalisto gets two on Kofi off a high cross body. Xavier kicks Torito away but the distraction lets Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin on Kalisto at 8:24.
Rating: D+. Why do I bother watching Smackdown? They did the same match on Smackdown but for some reason this one matters more. I’m guessing we get New Day vs. Prime Time Players for a third straight pay per view because Kalisto rolling Viktor up on Smackdown to win the same match doesn’t count.
Bella Twins vs. Charlotte/Becky Lynch
In pre-match video inserts, the Bellas say the Divas Revolution started when Nikki won the Divas Title and Charlotte/Becky/Paige dub themselves the Submission Sorority. I’ve heard worse names and at least it’s not Team “Insert Name Here”. Becky takes over on Brie to start before it’s off to Charlotte vs. Nikki with the champ coming in off a blind tag. They trade front facelocks until Charlotte grabs a cravate.
A Figure Eight attempt is countered and Nikki pulls Charlotte off the middle rope for two. Brie comes back in for a chinlock but Charlotte fights out (because it’s Brie Bella) and tags in Becky to clean house. The Disarm-Her has Brie in trouble until a rope is grabbed and Nikki takes Becky down as we go to a break.
Back with Becky fighting out of Nikki’s chinlock but walking into a facebuster for two. Brie stomps away in the corner (thank goodness she stopped doing the lame attempts at YES Kicks) and gets two of her own off a bulldog. Becky fights out of a chinlock and makes the tag to Charlotte, who runs over Nikki with a neckbreaker and spear. Everything breaks down and Nikki plants Charlotte with a spinebuster for two. Charlotte gets right back up though and the Figure Eight makes Nikki tap at 13:14.
Rating: C. I really don’t like it when WWE wastes my time. I’d assume this sets up Charlotte’s title shot at Summerslam, where I’d bet quite heavily that Nikki retains through shenanigans to get to the middle of September and the record because Heaven forbid a current WWE Diva doesn’t hold a record that the fans only care about because Cole and company keep telling us about it.
Team Bad isn’t pleased with all the attention Paige is getting so tonight it’s Paige vs. Naomi. Naomi even throws in an insult to Ronda Rousey for claiming that she’s the baddest woman on the planet. Something tells me that’s not going anywhere, but my goodness it would be entertaining if it did.
It’s time for MizTV with Miz in a Hot Rod shirt and a kilt. Before he gets going, Miz says that there wouldn’t be a MizTV, a Heartbreak Hotel, a Highlight Reel or any other talk show without the original Piper’s Pit, because Piper was the best ever at this and he’ll be missed. Here here Miz.
After a legitimately cool moment, Miz talks about his accomplishments and describes himself as on fire right now. That brings him to his guests tonight: two men who have also been on fire recently: Cesaro and Kevin Owens. Kevin is out first and sucks up to Miz a bit by saying he owns all of Miz’s movies on DVD. Before Cesaro can get much further though, here is Cesaro in a suit to interrupt.
Miz makes sure Cesaro isn’t here for a fight but Cesaro says he’s just here to hear what Walk Owens Walk has to say. Kevin gets right to the point: Cesaro is jealous of him because of Owens accomplishing all of the things that Cesaro never could, including beating John Cena. Owens says Cesaro has been whining about missing all those life moments, but no matter what he does, Cesaro will never be better than Owens because Cesaro lacks the love for this business.
Cesaro says the real lack of respect and love is shown every time Owens walks away from a match because it makes Owens an embarrassment. Kevin is ready to fight but says tonight isn’t the right price. “Yeah why don’t you do what you do best and walk Owens walk.” Miz tells Cesaro to go do something but Owens jumps them both from behind, only to run away when Cesaro gets up. Good, solid program building segment here.
We get a clip of Ronda Rousey paying tribute to Roddy Piper after her win on Saturday night.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
Can we just have Henry tap out now and save five minutes? Rusev stomps away in the corner but gets shoved down, only to come back with a dropkick for one. Off to a front facelock from the Russian, followed by a pair of jumping superkicks for the pin at 2:05.
Rusev gives him a third superkick for good measure.
Clip of Swerved.
Bray Wyatt rips the petals off a flower and compares it to Roman Reigns when you rip away everything that the world sees. Roman is no different than anyone else. Harper warned Ambrose but Dean chose wrong. Sheamus comes in and says he’s going to make this short and painful. Bray likes the idea of the enemy of his enemy being his friend.
Zack Ryder vs. King Barrett
Barrett says Ryder is King of the Internet (wasn’t that like three years ago?) but there’s no crown on his head. A knee to the ribs puts Ryder down and it’s off to an early chinlock. Ryder fights up and hits the Broski Boot but Barrett throws him into the buckle to break up the Rough Ryder, setting up the Bull Hammer to give Barrett the pin at 1:56.
Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about the Undertaker attacking Brock Lesnar two weeks back. We see a clip of the end of Battleground, but Heyman says that’s a different Undertaker than we’ve seen running roughshod over the WWE in the last 25 years. Would you ever see the old Undertaker kicking Brock Lesnar in the groin? Of course not, because the old Undertaker wasn’t scared of anything. We see a clip of the brawl from two weeks ago and Heyman brings up the 1 in 22-1 before bringing out Brock himself.
Lesnar doesn’t immediately get in the ring but rather throws some steps inside. With Brock standing on the steps, Heyman has a story to tell us. After the beating last year, Undertaker called Vince McMahon and begged for a rematch with Brock at this year’s Wrestlemania. Vince wisely said no because he knew what would happen the next time the Undertaker faces Brock, leaving Undertaker to do what he did at Battleground this year.
The WWE had to book the match at this point because the match was going to have to happen somewhere. Heyman says this isn’t just the rematch of the year, decade or century. This is the rematch that is bigger than Wrestlemania. Undertaker may look big and bad but he’s going to Suplex City. Last time Undertaker needed a year to recover, but this time he’ll rest in pieces as his career receives last rites at the hands of the conqueror. Heyman had me at that bigger than Wrestlemania line.
Here are the same Cena pictures from earlier tonight.
Paige vs. Naomi
They lock up to start and Paige actually gets a two count out of it. That’s a new idea. Paige takes her into the corner but Naomi catches her in her corner headscissors and shake which does nothing, aside from look stupid of course. A kick to the head gets two for Naomi and it’s time for a chinlock.
That goes nowhere so Naomi bends the ribs around the post and drives Paige back first into the apron. Paige fights out of another chinlock and scores with a fall away slam before sending Naomi face first into the buckle. A kick to the head staggers Paige but Naomi misses a high cross body, allowing Paige to slap on the PTO for the submission at 7:28.
Rating: C. At least Paige got to win something for a change. I like the submissions idea a lot as it fits their characters and adds a new dimension to the Divas instead of their one or two signature moves. Naomi has gotten lost in the shuffle of this whole thing but it’s nice to see her getting some time like this.
Clips of Neville vs. Rollins.
Stardust laughs at Neville for listening to the fans chant ONE MORE TIME and losing earlier.
Roddy Piper tribute video.
Ambrose and Reigns say they’re all out of bubblegum. It’s time to bust some heads and Orton comes in to agree, as long as he gets Sheamus to himself.
Arrow’s Stephen Amell will be here next week.
Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt/Sheamus vs. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Ambrose and Harper get things going with Dean throwing Luke outside. Everyone else comes in for a brawl and the villains are knocked to the floor, setting up Dean’s big elbow to take us to a break. Back with Reigns taking Sheamus’ head off with a running right hand to take the fight back outside. That goes nowhere so Reigns comes back in and says he wants Wyatt but it’s Harper first. Dean comes in to hammer away in the corner but Harper dropkicks him in the face to get a breather. Now Wyatt is willing to come in and hammer away before knocking Dean off the top and out to the floor for a rare second break.
Back again with Harper and Ambrose trading slams, allowing Dean to make the tag off to Orton for the powerslam to Wyatt. Sheamus takes a right hand as well and Orton counters the Rock Bottom into the backbreaker to put everyone not named Randy down. Harper breaks up the RKO to Bray with the discus lariat before getting dropkicked out to the floor by Dean.
That earns Ambrose a big boot to the face but Reigns takes Harper out, leaving us with Roman vs. Sheamus in the ring. Everything breaks down again and Reigns takes Bray and Sheamus down with apron boots. Both guys get Superman Punches to go with them but it’s Harper again with a superkick to take Roman down. Ambrose tries to dive on Harper but has to fight out of Sister Abigail first. An RKO drops Wyatt and Sheamus eats Reigns’ spear for the pin at 16:25.
Rating: C+. Nice main event tag here with the good guys looking awesome and Harper continuing to show how awesome he can be in the ring by doing things that just aren’t normal for someone his size. This helped set up Summerslam a bit more as you can pretty much guarantee Orton vs. Sheamus and the tag match. Good stuff here.
Overall Rating: C. I liked the show but as is the case so often with Raw, the length took away a lot of the good feelings it had built up. They’re building to what should be a strong Summerslam, but these Raw’s aren’t the easiest to sit through. They just go on too long and whatever they have going is often replaced by thoughts of “let this end already.”
Results
Seth Rollins b. Neville – Pedigree
New Day/Ascension b. Lucha Dragons/Los Matadores – Trouble in Paradise to Kalisto
Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Figure Eight to Nikki
Rusev b. Mark Henry – Jumping superkick
King Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer
Paige b. Naomi – PTO
Randy Orton/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper – Spear to Sheamus
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: July 23, 2015
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jimmy Uso
This is an interesting show as Raw went off the air with a closed story for a change. The big story is of course the announcement of Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar…..we’re probably at V or VI over the years now. There’s no chance either guy is on this show so we should get some new stuff set up for Summerslam instead. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Jerry Lawler isn’t here tonight, possibly due to his brother passing away this week.
Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
Sheamus has seen Dean’s insanity but thinks Dean is just wanting a way out. Well tonight there’s no way around the beating that he’s going to receive from the next World Champion. Dang man Cena is here? You don’t expect that on a Smackdown. Dean thinks Sheamus looks stupid and those are fighting words.
It’s a brawl to start with Sheamus getting knocked to the floor where he easily stops a dive with a forearm to the head. Sheamus goes after him again but eats a tornado DDT onto the floor. We take a break and come back with Sheamus breaking up another tornado DDT attempt and starting in on the knee, which was hurt a few weeks back so why not. A powerbomb gets two on Dean and it’s time for a half crab.
Dean gets underneath Sheamus for the break and hits the rebound clothesline as the knee is suddenly fine. That stuff gets old fast but you get used to it after awhile. Now the suicide dive hits, followed by the standing elbow drop but here’s Bray Wyatt to interrupt. Harper is standing on the announcers’ table as well and Dean goes after him, only to walk into a Brogue Kick. Back in and another Brogue Kick gives Sheamus the pin at 11:33.
Rating: C. The match was your standard brawl but there’s one thing I really liked: this opened the show. Not a promo to set up the main event, not the same long promo that we’ve heard a dozen times this month, not trying to figure out if we’re supposed to hate the Authority or be so happy that a little ray of Stephanie’s sunshine chased the blues away again, and not a five minute recap of what we saw last week. It was a wrestling match to open the show and that’s a very nice change of pace.
We get a comic book style recap of Stardust vs. Neville from last week.
Neville doesn’t think Stardust is a supervillain because Stardust is a coward. You can’t stop what you can’t contain and the Altitude Era is upon us. Neville leaves and Stardust pops up on the video screen to laugh.
Neville vs. Adam Rose
Feeling out process to start with Rose hitting a quick snap suplex and putting on an early chinlock. Adam busts out a middle rope hurricanrana to send Neville outside but his suicide dive is countered with a forearm to the face. Some kicks and a moonsault set up the Red Arrow for the pin at 3:05.
Rating: D+. There wasn’t much here but it’s always good to see Neville getting in the ring. I know a feud with Stardust isn’t much but it’s nice to see him having a feud at all. This could lead somewhere for him with the superhero idea as it’s one of the easiest things in the world for a heel to go after. Rose looked decent there too.
Neville poses when Stardust comes on the screen with a party hat on and a noisemaker in his mouth. He says even the sharpest arrows come crashing down. His hand is touching your hand (Hard Times reference) so be his hero.
Video on Sasha Banks where she talks about being the Boss and debuting on Raw as part of the three way feud.
Here’s King Barrett to say he’s the most important thing in WWE. He defeated three names in less than 24 hours and then defeated R-Truth again this past Sunday. That win told everyone that you better hit him right between the eyes because he’ll take your head off. This was an old school promo with Barrett just coming out and talking about who he is and why you should care about him. I’ll take that over another loss or stupid feud any day.
Here’s Kevin Owens to talk about people chanting TAP OWENS TAP at him. Yeah he tapped, but Owens gave Cena the fight of his entire career. However, he isn’t the one with the motto of NEVER GIVE UP. His motto is more along the lines of “live to fight another day.” Owens has no issues with turning on Rusev this Monday because Rusev was too busy trying to figure out which Lana he wants to get to second base with. Cue Rusev and it’s time to fight.
Rusev vs. Kevin Owens
I’m digging these heel vs. heel matches because they make sense to the story and the heels aren’t buddies just because they’re heels. Summer is once again dressed as Lana. Rusev goes right after Owens to start and we take a break in about thirty seconds. Back with Owens elbowing him in the face and punching the Russian out of Rusev. Owens avoids a charge in the corner and nails a superkick, followed by the Cannonball for no cover.
Instead it’s a Vader Bomb for two as Owens keeps adding new stuff to his arsenal. It’s chinlock time before a Codebreaker of all things gets two more on Rusev. Another chinlock slows things down until Rusev fights back with strikes and a spinning belly to back suplex. The spinwheel kick stuns Owens again, all the way to the point that he sticks his chin out for the running superkick. Rusev loads up the Accolade but Owens rolls outside for the countout at 9:39.
Rating: C. This worked while it lasted and I like that Owens’ character is now someone who doesn’t want to fight after talking a big game. However, this goes against the formula that made him a big deal down in NXT. He’s talented enough to make it work, but I’d like to see him beat someone up again just because he can.
Cesaro is fired up about getting to face Seth Rollins tonight because it’s all about loving this business. He would drive hundreds of miles for a handshake and missed his best friend’s wedding but that’s what this is all about. It’s time to prove that the American dream is alive and well. Owens comes up to make fun of Cesaro, saying that Cesaro took Cena to the limit but Owens beat him. Kevin says Cesaro abandoned his family but Cesaro calls him the master of abandoning because of all the matches he’s walked out on. Owens is on his way to catering so Cesaro warns him not to choke like he did against Cena. Good stuff here.
Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Bella Twins
Nikki takes Naomi to the mat to start and I think the Bellas are actually faces here. It’s off to Brie, who eats a clothesline from Naomi, allowing for a tag to Sasha. Nikki comes back in for a headscissors with pushups before Brie dropkicks Sasha for two. BRIE MODE is broken up by Tamina because the power of a scream can be devastating. Brie gets pulled outside for some stomping and we take a break.
Back with Naomi stomping a mudhole in Brie before Sasha sends her back into the corner. The double knees get two as this is a very standard formula Divas tag, which you really don’t see that often. Naomi puts on a chinlock as Nikki plays cheerleader on the apron. To be fair I like the Bellas as faces more, but could we please get a reason why we’re supposed to care about them now, especially when it was supposed to be such a huge moment when Brie tapped out on Sunday?
Back to Naomi for a Codebreaker (with feet instead of knees) for two before slapping on another chinlock. A BRIE MODE chant gets Brie to fight up and she finally dropkicks Naomi to the floor. Nikki comes in for her clotheslines and an Alabama Slam to Naomi. Sasha breaks up a Rack Attack as everything breaks down. Brie and Sasha fight outside, leaving Nikki to Rack Attack Naomi for the pin at 13:14.
Rating: C+. Considering this was a Bellas match, I was kind of shocked at how much I liked it. The key thing for me here: this didn’t feel like a Divas match but a match that Divas in it. I could see any male wrestlers having this same match and liking it just as much, which is a major change for this division. The Bellas turning again for no apparent reason (again) is annoying but you have to accept it at this point.
The Tough Enough cast talks about why Jake Gyllenhaal is tough.
Long recap of Undertaker vs. Lesnar on Raw.
Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title. Rollins bails to the floor to start before easily countering a wristlock into a gorilla press. Back up and Seth kicks Cesaro to the floor for a suicide dive as we take a break. As you might expect, we come back to Rollins holding a chinlock but Cesaro powers out and throws some suplexes. A slam into a suplex (cool move) gets two more on Rollins as the announcers compare Cesaro to Chuck Norris.
Seth comes back again with a low superkick for two but Cesaro changes things up again with a running dropkick for a near fall. Saxton: “Is there anything Cesaro can’t do?” Uh, get a pin? The buckle bomb (with a nice throw) staggers Cesaro again but he counters the Pedigree into the Sharpshooter. Rollins is too close to the ropes though so it’s off to a Crossface in the middle of the ring. That doesn’t work either so it’s a VERY high Swiss Death for two more. The Swing is broken up by a poke to the eye though, setting up the Pedigree to give Seth the pin at 13:31.
Rating: B. Good match here and I like the idea of a heel doing something as simple as poking his opponent in the eye. It doesn’t have to be this big ref bump and interference ending that we always get, especially when there’s something simple they can do like a thumb to the eye. Cesaro continues to be awesome and hopefully he goes somewhere instead of just being considered bulletproof when he isn’t yet.
Owens comes out and gives Cesaro a Pop Up Powerbomb to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. I liked this more than I’ve liked a Smackdown in a long time for one reason: this felt like a wrestling heavy show instead of the usual Raw supplement we get most of the time. The Divas got time, the main event was good, and the worst match was barely long enough to rate. It’s a good, fun show that let the wrestlers wrestle and advanced some midcard storylines. That’s what a show like Smackdown should be if it’s not going to be anywhere near Raw’s level. Good use of the blue show this week.
Results
Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose – Brogue Kick
Neville b. Adam Rose – Red Arrow
Rusev b. Kevin Owens via countout
Bella Twins b. Naomi/Sasha Banks – Rack Attack to Naomi
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Pedigree
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Maybe it’s just where I’ve been away for a bit but it doesn’t feel like it’s time for a pay per view. To be fair though, WWE doesn’t seem to know either, because it’s the day before the show and we’ve got a five match card. While I’m sure there will be some fixes made and matches added, Battleground feels like a show that doesn’t need to exist, but there’s some stuff worth looking at. Let’s get to it.
Starting with the preshow, we have King Barrett vs. R-Truth for the Crown. Now you may be asking, why is this match happening. Well that’s because Vince has again fallen in love with a comedy character and thinks that it’s just SO FREAKING FUNNY that it’s worth putting Barrett through another mess for a story that no one cares about.
Barrett summed up the problems on Raw: why should I care if he beats Truth again when he already beat him in the King of the Ring tournament in the first place? These two have traded wins since then and the story just isn’t working. Let’s say Barrett wins Sunday. Where is he then? Right back where he was when he won the tournament: King, having beaten R-Truth to get there.
That is of course after all the weeks of having bad matches and stupid promos about R-Truth being KING WHAT’S UP because it’s funny that Truth is crazy. This has been such a waste of Barrett and the entire tournament, but then again the whole thing was thrown together as a Network audience builder. This was a huge waste of time and I guess Barrett wins, because there’s no point to putting it on Truth other than to make Vince lau…..Truth is probably winning isn’t he? I’ll stick with Barrett but be ready to throw my remote at the TV.
I’ll take Reigns and Wyatt going to a DQ to set up another Raw match. My guess is we eventually get Reigns vs. Ambrose at Summerslam, but at this point I’m thinking it’s a double DQ or double countout, because Reigns hasn’t failed in enough big matches yet. Wyatt needs the win, but he’s needed a big win since……December? I don’t think you can count Ryback as a major win, not back then at least. I’ll take the draw here, but my goodness is there anything worse than seeing these two as such meaningless acts right now?
New Day gets the belts back. Word on the street is the Players got the belts because of Titus’ dad of the year award and, shockingly enough, NO ONE CARED ABOUT THAT EITHER. New Day gets the titles back here and thankfully we’re back to normal. The Players are a fine team and Titus is as professional as they get, but there’s just no reason to care about them on top of the division.
It’s taken me a while to write this out but I’ll take Orton to win over Sheamus. Not that it’s a complicated decision or anything, but it took me three or four tries to stay awake to write this out. There’s no reason for this match to be happening aside from they both need something to do. Neither guy feels like anything more than an overgrown midcard act right now, even though they’re both former World Champions and legitimate big stars. There’s nothing to this story and the match has no heat, especially considering how many times these two have bored the fans to death. Orton wins as Sheamus has the MITB curse at the moment.
I’ll go with the obvious and have Owens take the US Title. As strange as it would be to have the US Champion fighting for the NXT Title, it’s clear that Owens thinks the NXT Title means something. If that’s not where they go with it, there’s always the option of Owens saying the US Title is more important and saying he’ll do the rematch because he signed and a loss means nothing to him. Still though, Cena has nothing left to do with the title so put it on Owens, the best heel going today.
That leaves us with the main event and…..just dang man. This should have been the easiest feud in the world (“You stole the Beast’s title and now it is time to pay.”). That’s where they’ve kind of gone with it, but for the most part it’s been about beating up the Stooges and a car for product placement. I certainly don’t hate this one, but it hasn’t made itself stand out.
At least there aren’t currently any Authority members to bail Seth out, but whether he wins or loses, this is going to wind up being about the Authority one way or another. Why? Because that’s how WWE works and there’s no way around it. I’ll take Seth retaining through shenanigans to drag this out. Again.
And somehow that’s it. We really don’t have anything else on the card to talk about, though I’m pretty sure we’re going to get something between Big Show vs. Miz and maybe Stardust vs. Neville. However, that leaves out Cesaro and Rusev, who both currently have rockets attached to their backs. I could easily see Cesaro added to the Intercontinental Title match for a vacated title, but I could also see him doing nothing more than a run-in during the US Title match.
Throw in a Divas match/segment, but there’s something interesting here: yeah the NXT girls are here, but we’re counting down the days until Nikki sets the record. This is where the problem: at some point she’s going to have to fight one of them, and I’m not sure they can come up with two months of stalling before either A, the NXT girls lose or B, Nikki drags them down and no one cares. In other words, that whole record thing is going to threaten the entire story, but WWE would rather destroy their entire division to get rid of AJ Lee from the history books, unless they grow up and stop Nikki’s reign early.
Overall, Battleground could be fun if the matches overachieve, but at some point WWE needs to be running on more than just that. There isn’t a lot going on here and the big draws are the third match of a trilogy and Lesnar, who probably doesn’t get the title back. Then again, this show doesn’t really mean much as we’re gearing up for Summerslam, where the real fun takes place.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – July 13, 2015: Viva Las Divas (And Stephanie Just Because)
Monday Night Raw Date: July 13, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Battleground and thankfully Brock is here, hopefully to beat up a pair of cars in a handicap match this week. Other than that we have the rest of the build towards Wyatt vs. Reigns, possibly even including why they’re fighting and what it has to do with Reigns’ daughter, and more stuff including whatever Ambrose might be doing on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s Lesnar beatdown, complete with Heyman reusing the Dudleys’ commandment of don’t screw with Brock. It’s fair to erase the Dudleys from history at this point so it’s not that big a deal. Heyman might have written that line in the first place.
Here are Brock and Heyman to get things going, drawing a SUPLEX CITY chant. For some reason the crushed car is brought out as Heyman proclaims Brock’s impending dominance over Rollins this coming Sunday. Paul lists off Brock’s accomplishments and the various people he’s conquered before promising to have Lesnar suplex Rollins all over the place, put his foot on Seth’s chest and be proclaimed the champion once again.
Cue Rollins and Kane because YAY KANE IS BACK FROM HAWAII OR WHATEVER THAT STUPID STORY WAS! Rollins talks about how Brock is frustrated over his inability to be champion and stumbles over trying to say “an inanimate object” in a funny goof. Brock has been carrying the car around the country (in a truck or on his back?) like a symbol and that’s just fine, because Suplex City is burned to the ground tonight.
Brock offers to take Rollins to Suplex City tonight but Kane intervenes with the threat of a contract signing. Kane threatens Lesnar if he messes up the contract signing but Heyman laughs off the threats from “Undertaker’s baby brother.” Kane is of course annoyed as Heyman goes on about Brock smashing stuff with one final promise of pain to Rollins if he provokes the Beast tonight.
Ryback/Randy Orton vs. Sheamus/Big Show
Miz is on commentary and this is billed as an All-Star match. I’d prefer we go play that over the top video game instead but have it your way. This is the old standard idea of taking two feuds and combining them into a tag match, which is an idea that stays around because it still works. Ryback knocks Sheamus to the floor to start and we’re in a very early break.
Back with Sheamus bailing into the floor to hide from Orton. Apparently Randy is really bad at hide and seek so it’s back to Ryback vs. Big Show with the latter stomping Ryback down onto the mat to take over. Sheamus tries a bearhug and is easily driven into the corner for the tag to Orton. Remember the days when Sheamus was like, really really strong? What happened to that?
Back from a second break with an Irish Curse (backbreaker. OH THE SCANDAL!) for two on Orton but he counters Big Show’s chokeslam into a DDT for a breather. Miz gets off of commentary and shouts on a mic as Ryback comes in and cleans house. Big Show has enough of Miz though and chases him up the ramp, leaving Sheamus to take an RKO and top rope splash from Ryback for the pin at 15:21.
Rating: C+. Nice long tag match here and again, a good way to set up both matches at once. I would have liked a countout or DQ finish instead of having Sheamus take a pin, but it’s a plus that he took two finishers for a pin so it’s hardly clean. Sheamus vs. Orton does nothing for me and the triple threat isn’t much better, but at least there’s something on the line and Ryback has started looking good again.
Network ad.
Rollins doesn’t like the idea of the contract signing but Kane has a plan.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
Good grief people build a midcard already. Wyatt’s name graphic is just letters on a screen now instead of in a box like everyone else. During the entrance though, Reigns appears and lays out Wyatt as Ambrose is just kind of forgotten. Bray finally gets in a lantern shot to escape. No match.
The Bellas have been nominated for Choice Female Athletes in the Teen Choice Awards. Dear goodness I don’t want to know who else they are.
Here are the Bellas and Alicia Fox with something to say. Nikki brags about holding the title forever because AJ Lee MUST be eliminated from history. She’s defended against every single Diva there is and has given them all a chance. A quick search shows that, at least in TV matches, Nikki has defended against AJ, Naomi and Tamina (whose one shot came at Beast in the East) and that’s it. She calls the three of them Team Bella, because all you have to do these days is put the word Team in front of a name. Come up with something more interesting, please.
Nikki goes on about how awesome she is and how dominant they are….and here’s Stephanie McMahon because she hasn’t laid waste to the Divas yet. Stephanie is a face tonight too because there’s something cool coming and therefore she just MUST be there to get a piece of the action. The legacy of the WWE rests on her shoulders (yes, Stephanie says this company’s history is on HER shoulders) and there’s a revolution going on right now in women’s sports, ranging from women’s soccer to UFC to tennis. These are supposed to be applause lines if that’s not clear.
Stephanie introduces Paige, because of ALL DIVAS IN WWE, Paige is the one that would be thrilled to be associated with Stephanie. I mean Paige is clearly a corporate loyalist right? Nikki talks about how Paige doesn’t deserve another shot, but STEPHANIE runs WWE and this division instead of her.
Stephanie, the WWE and Paige want this revolution (what is she even talking about?) but courage can’t do it alone. Therefore, Paige needs backup. Instead of bringing this person out though, Stephanie goes on about how amazing they are and FINALLY introduces Becky Lynch. Now, does Becky get to say anything and introduce herself? Of course not, because that would cut away from Stephanie’s mic time, meaning the boss gets to introduce Charlotte, in that voice that only Stephanie can deliver.
Cole: “STEPHANIE HAS SHAKEN THINGS UP!” I hate this company at times. Stephanie: “WOO!” Oh shut up. Cue Naomi and Tamina with a mic because we haven’t heard enough horrible voices yet. Naomi says the two of them are all the competition the Bellas need. That’s all the mic time she needs too, because Stephanie needs to bring out Sasha Banks. Sasha stands with Naomi and Tamina, but STEPHANIE WON’T SHUT HER FREAKING MOUTH and talks about setting the table for opportunity.
We get a THIS IS AWESOME chant to a legitimately cool moment and the fight is on. Charlotte cleans house until Naomi dropkicks her down, only to have Paige and Sasha get into it. Tamina breaks up the PTO on Naomi but Brie Bella interrupts as the announcers line up to kiss Stephanie’s feet for these new arrivals. Alicia gets caught in the Figure Eight, Becky puts Brie in the armbar and Nikki gets the Bank Statement as a big NXT chant breaks out. The Bellas and Fox are cleared out and the other six yell at each other as the freaking Total Divas theme plays this out.
I’m not going to bother ranting about how Stephanie made this all about her. It’s Stephanie McMahon, she’s the biggest hound for a spotlight that has ever lived in WWE and you know that if there’s a big moment there that people are going to erupt over, she’s going to shoehorn her way in despite the fact that there is absolutely no logical reason for her to be involved.
This story has been about Paige finding help but that’s thrown out the window because Stephanie has basically just decided to turn this story into a chess game for her own amusement. The big sign here: none of them got to talk and then Stephanie just left after she was the only voice you heard for the big moment. The main part here was all about Stephanie look cool and how thankful we should be for her big gift to us and that’s all there is to it.
Aside from all that, this is EXACTLY what the Divas have been needing for so long. All of a sudden, there is some brand new blood in the Divas’ division and the fans buy into it. They know these three are amazingly talented and can tear the house down…..but the Bellas are still around. As long as they’re the focus of the division (and they will be as long as Total Divas is around), the newcomers are going to have to tone it WAY down so Nikki, Brie and Alicia can handle it and that takes away from the NXT crew’s magic. This is going to be interesting, but they could drag things way down for the sake of breaking AJ’s record.
New Day vs. Prime Time Players/Mark Henry
The hometown boy Xavier Woods says this is the greatest town in the world because they stay positive. Even though they shut down the city due to an inch of snow last year and the Atlanta Hawks choked in the NBA Playoffs, they stayed positive. Kofi is 100% that they’re getting the titles back on Sunday because Prime Time is out of time at Battleground because NEW DAY ROCKS.
Titus shrugs off a Kofi kick to start so it’s off to Darren, who clotheslines E. out to the floor. The Players and Henry throw everyone out to the floor (JBL: “FLYING PH.D!”) as we take an early break. Back with Titus taking the rotating stomps in the corner as the announcers talk about how awesome the Divas were. For once, they’re actually right. E. gets two off a splash but Titus is quickly up and tagging in Henry to clean house. Everything breaks down and a World’s Strongest Slam ends Woods at 8:29.
Rating: D+. Good night do they really not know how to set up a tag match anymore? When is the last time New Day won a match? My guess is they get the belts back anyway because that’s how WWE works these days. The match was nothing interesting and Henry is just thrown out there but gets the pin over a #1 contender anyway. Well sure why not.
The winners dance.
Long recap of Lesnar b. Cadillac via TKO last week.
King Barrett vs. R-Truth
No King entrance for Truth and Cole tells us he rapped to the ring during the commercial. Truth gyrates a lot to start and gets kicked in his face. A backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two each on Truth and a boot knocks him onto the apron. Truth fights out of a chinlock as the announcers talk about Tough Enough to kill time. Barrett misses a charge and eats a Lie Detector for the pin at 3:12.
Rating: D-. Good grief it’s going to get a rubber match on Sunday isn’t it? This whole thing is such a waste of whatever they had with the King of the Ring because Barrett hasn’t been embarrassed enough over the years. Bad match, horrible feud, disgusting waste of someone like Barrett for a comedy act.
Truth puts on his king attire.
We recap Rusev destroying Ziggler last week, finally making Rusev feel like a monster (and a wrestler) again.
It’s Open Challenge time and Rusev is here to renew a rivalry that doesn’t need to be renewed. He blames Lana for losing the title in the first place and says he broke Ziggler because of the USA. Before the match though, here’s Kevin Owens with something to say. Rusev says no because he was here first and that Owens needs to pick a single first name. They argue a bit but here’s Cesaro to interrupt as well. Cena heads outside as the three brawl, setting up a triple threat match with the winner getting a title shot immediately after because WHO NEEDS PSYCHOLOGY???
Rusev vs. Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
Cena is on commentary as Cesaro gets beaten down in the corner. Rusev gets beaten down and Cannonballed, only to have Cesaro hit the running uppercut to Owens’ jaw. Swiss Death gets two on Rusev as Cena puts over the Divas’ segment. Owens has to escape two pinfall attempts, followed by Cesaro doing the same off a Saito Suplex from Rusev. Cena continues to be as good of a commentator as you’ll see in this company, only to have to stop for Cesaro turning Owens’ superplex into a Tower of Doom for two each.
The Russian takes over again as these guys are just hammering each other. Owens blocks Rusev’s German suplex attempt so Cesaro Germans both of them AT ONCE. I know I say this every week but DANG that guy is strong. Since that’s not enough, Cesaro busts out a corkscrew dive over the top to take out both guys. Back in and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body on Rusev but Owens breaks up the Swing with a superkick.
Kevin drops both guys but stops to shout at Cena, allowing Rusev’s Alabama Slam to set up the Accolade. Cesaro saves this time and delays a vertical suplex on the Russian. Well ex-Russian but whatever. Cena keeps making some rather heelish yet totally fair comments about how he’s the lucky one here as these guys are all brawling but he gets to come in fresh. Rusev sends Kevin outside and Owens bails, saying he’ll see Cena Sunday.
Back from a break with Rusev chinlocking Cesaro, only to have the bald one pop up and hit a springboard spinning uppercut to drop Rusev. The apron superplex is countered with Rusev suplexing Cesaro onto the apron to put both guys down onto the floor. Back in again and Cesaro dropkicks Rusev on the top, only to have his superplex countered. The Russian’s top rope splash misses and Cesaro crossfaces Rusev, only to have Rusev power up into something like a spinning Rock Bottom for two more.
Back up again and Cesaro can’t get a Sharpshooter, allowing Rusev to hit a spinwheel kick for two. The Accolade is countered into the Swing which sets up the Sharpshooter, drawing a lout TAP chant. Rusev makes the rope but since this is still officially a triple threat, he has to crawl outside to break the hold. Nice touch of continuity there. Cesaro hasn’t done something cool in all of 14 seconds now so he comes back with a suicide dive. Back in and Cesaro gets tripped off the top, setting up a superkick from Rusev for the pin at 24:02.
Rating: B+. Why not make Cesaro the Intercontinental Champion? Like, just let him go out there and have awesome matches with anyone because Cesaro is pure gold at this point. It’s the simple concept of “hey, this guy is awesome right now so LET’S PUSH HIM!” Unfortunately he’ll probably be forgotten again in three weeks while someone like Barrett or Truth get pushed because they’re funny or something. Like, is Cesaro even going to be on the pay per view?
US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena
The psychology is all over the place here as Cena, the face champion, comes in with a huge advantage since Rusev is spent. Cena starts fast and hits a release fisherman’s suplex followed by a headlock. Rusev bails to the ropes but Cena nails the shoulders. In a nice touch, Rusev can’t get up due to the exhaustion, making the finishing sequence look really awkward. The AA is countered into the Accolade out of nowhere and Cena hangs on for about 45 seconds (fair since Rusev is weakened) until Owens comes back in for the DQ at 4:57.
Rating: D. This was more awkward and weird than bad as Cena was basically wrestling a squash match against a big name until the end where he got caught in a big move. Like I said, this was just strange and would have been FAR better served as a single, four way elimination with Cena involved. It was different, but the execution of the second match didn’t work for me.
Owens gives Rusev a Pop-Up Powerbomb and tells Cena that he’s taking the title on Sunday.
Rollins tells Kane that it’s on him if tonight goes bad.
The Tough Enough cast is on stage when Lita (a coach on the show) comes out with something to say. She officially introduces us to the cast and this is a big waste of time because Tough Enough just isn’t all that interesting this season. It was so uninteresting that I haven’t watched it yet and don’t plan to.
We recap Reigns and Wyatt from earlier.
Stardust (hey he’s back) talks about how the world needs heroes because the world is made up of heroes and villains. “From where I stand, the view never changes.” Neville has been claiming that the forces of evil have forsaken him, but those forces will bring him down. Embrace the strange. Or embrace Cody Rhodes for a change.
Barrett vs. Truth for the crown on Sunday. If Rusev and/or Cesaro aren’t on that show, I lose so much of my faith in this company, meaning I fully expect it to happen.
Stardust vs. Neville
Neville is no longer the New Sensation, which is one of the best things that could happen to him. A loud CODY chant starts up but let’s just keep him as Stardust because it’s done wonders for his career. Stardust isn’t interested in a handshake and kicks Neville down, only to have to get up before the Red Arrow can launch. There’s a cartwheel from Star and we hit the chinlock.
As has been the trend tonight, this match is bizarre as the fans are cheering Stardust instead of the guy they’re pushing as an actual superhero. It’s funny how such shortsightedness works. Neville fights back to silence (I’m stunned too) but Stardust rolls him up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 4:09. JBL: “Go to the pay window young man!”
Rating: D. So let’s see. They’ve (so far) wasted any potential for Cody coming off his father’s passing, Neville looks lame because no one wants to boo the son of a legend whose father recently passed away, and then Stardust cheats instead of getting to make this an important and cool moment. Oh and the match wasn’t any good either. What a mess as psychology means nothing around here.
It’s time for the contract signing to close things up this week. Rollins and Kane are out first and the champ talks about watching the footage of the car being destroyed again. After this Sunday, Suplex City will be a memory and he’ll still be champion, but here’s a Beast to disagree. Well, likely to stand there while Heyman disagrees. Paul says Rollins wants to burn Suplex City down, but the fans want to see him get taken apart for his breaking of the eleventh commandment.
People want to see Rollins get beaten up and that’s what they’re going to see this Sunday when he gets kicked, slapped, punched, suplexed, F5’d and dethroned. Rollins signs anyway, as does Brock, and there goes the table. Kane comes at Brock but Lesnar pulls out an ax handle and actually flips the table back up. The fight is on again and Rollins goes flying. Kane breaks up an F5 on the floor and Rollins hits him with the ax handle.
Some steps to the head have Brock in more trouble but Beast Mode prevails with Kane taking an F5 on the floor. There goes Rollins into the crowd, leaving Brock to crush Kane’s ankle on the steps, likely making this Sunday one on one. Brock poses with the title but we’re not done yet as Rollins comes back to ringside and yells about being the man to slay the Beast on Sunday. Medics tend to Kane so Rollins yells at him too, calling Kane’s career one big disappointment. This is on Kane and Rollins kicks him in the ankle to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This is a great example of a show where the good was good but the bad was really bad. Some of these matches and stories are disasters and I really don’t think I need to explain which is which. The show wasn’t terrible and had some VERY good stuff going on, but between Stephanie throwing herself into a feud she has nothing to do with and the battle of the kings that no one wants to see and a few other big misses, I wanted this show to end instead of wanting to like it. Not the worst by any means and the Divas segment (once it was about them) was great, but WAY too much bad to hold it back.
Results
Ryback/Randy Orton b. Sheamus/Big Show – Top rope splash to Sheamus
Mark Henry/Prime Time Players b. New Day – World’s Strongest Slam to Woods
R-Truth b. King Barrett – Lie Detector
Rusev b. Kevin Owens and Cesaro – Superkick to Cesaro
Rusev b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Stardust b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 15, 2015
After all the pay per views in the span of a few weeks, this show marks the beginning of a recently unthinkable FIVE WEEK build to Battleground. The big stories are Sheamus now holding the Money in the Bank briefcase and fellow heel Seth Rollins retaining the World Title last night in a long ladder match against Dean Ambrose. This means that Rollins won a major match on his own. I wonder if we’ll hear about that tonight. Let’s get to it.
Before we get started, there was one last tribute to Dusty Rhodes. Yeah it’s the same one, but Dusty deserves as many as WWE wants to give him.
The main story throughout the night was the Authority picking the next challenger to Seth’s title. This means that people were trying to impress them all night, because the Authority are the king and queen of WWE and the wrestlers are all just their playthings, sent out there to dance and perform at the Authority’s will. Throughout the night there were people having regular matches which for some reason meant more, even though it’s almost never someone you see earlier in the night because WWE has gotten very, very stale in its format. We’ll get to the next challenger at the end.
Rollins came out for his big victory speech and bragged about being that much better than Ambrose. They’re doing a great job of keeping Ambrose from beating Rollins and when he finally does, which he will one day, it’s going to be a big moment. As Rollins took all the credit (literally thanking himself over and over in a great heel touch), Ambrose came out and cleaned house, saying he wasn’t leaving the ring until he got another fight against Rollins. This went on for awhile until Sheamus came out for a fight, eventually losing to a rollup. Why would you ever want to win something in WWE? It almost guarantees a losing streak.
Case in point: R-Truth beat King Barrett for the second time in two days, this time in about twenty seconds. Barrett beat him down post match and talked about how serious this was to him. I’m picturing Barrett running around talking about how TOTALLY IMPORTANT it is that he’s a king while everyone else laughs at him, because that’s how interesting wrestlers are treated around here.
Kevin Owens bragged, Dolph Ziggler challenged him to a non-title match, Owens beat Ziggler in the same match Ziggler has had for the last year. In case you can’t tell, I really, really do not care about Dolph Ziggler. Word on the street is that he was about to leave the company and I can’t say I’m complaining.
Paige tried to get the Divas to help her fight the Bellas but this somehow tied into the Authority and the rest of the division not wanting to get on their bad side. This is pretty clearly setting up some NXT callups and I’m terrified of what might happen to them. The Bellas beat Paige in a handicap match later in the show.
Sheamus helped Kane beat Orton in a nothing match. This was supposed to make me think Kane is a viable contender to Rollins. That’s hilarious, if not a bit stupid.
With an unintentional assist from Ryback, Miz beat Big Show via countout. This was fine as a quick help to the three way feud.
Roman Reigns wanted to fight Bray Wyatt, but Bray did his usual freaky promo before holding up a picture of Reigns playing with his daughter. See, that’s at least that’s a specific thing for Wyatt, who usually only speaks in riddles. It’s a baby step, but at least a step.
Machine Gun Kelly, a rapper I’ve only heard of through WWE, rapped for the better part of eternity and was then beaten up by Kevin Owens. That alone made the way too long performance worth it as Owens is one of the coolest heels in a very, very long time.
Neville/Prime Time Players beat the New Day in a fun six man. It’s good to see Neville added into a feud so he has something to do instead of just floating from match to match.
The big reveal was, of course, Brock Lesnar, which opens up a ton of storyline plotholes but his Suplex City/Exit F5 shirt more than made up for it. A few of these plot holes:
1. Cole’s lawsuit, which isn’t so much a plot hole as they addressed it on WWE.com, but they really need to mention it on Raw. It just needs to be a quick line of “we settled it out of court” but it needs to be said on TV.
2. After Stephanie freaked out of Lesnar and sent him away because she hadn’t captured a good set of balls in a long time, they’re just bringing him back to beat up their guy? Is this supposed to be a test? Or are they dumping Rollins to go with Lesnar, who was all insane and violent and nowhere near as controllable as Rollins?
3. What if Rollins wins? Is he supposed to just say “yeah it’s cool Authority. I don’t mind you throwing the biggest, baddest monster ever. What are we doing for dinner tonight?”
Overall this show was about setting up Battleground, which again has the potential to be one of the more entertaining shows in a long time. Granted a lot of that is due to Brock, but that’s why you bring him in. I wasn’t wild on the story of wondering who the opponent was going to be because Lesnar really wasn’t all that shocking. Still though, good enough show which wasn’t the same old repetitive stuff we’ve seen time after time. There are some plot holes that have to be addressed however, but you can do that in just a few quick promos.
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Makes me think of some more fantasy booking.And again, this isn’t anything revolutionary and isn’t meant to be.
So the story is that the Divas on the main roster aren’t willing to help Paige out against the Bellas. Therefore, Paige is in need of someone to help her out. Maybe she goes back to her roots. Back to where she started. Back down to NXT. Not for a fresh start or anything, but for reinforcements. Like……Sasha Banks, Bayley, Charlotte and Becky Lynch.
I know you hear about these invasion storylines all the time, but in this case I dig the idea. Why not use this opportunity to bring some of them up and breathe some much needed life into that division? Is anyone going to miss Layla or Tamina or Eva Marie or even Natalya? Bring in some fresh blood and cut some of these girls that never do anything.
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