Monday Night Raw – August 4, 2008: Those Two, And Everything Else

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2008
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

For reasons I still do not want to understand, we’re in the Mike Adamle Era as he is the new GM of the show. Other than that nightmare, we have less than two weeks to go before Summerslam and the real main event from Raw is set as John Cena will face Batista. Other than that, CM Punk still needs an official challenger and we might get that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick note: I did the Saturday Night’s Main Event but it didn’t save properly and was lost. Normally I would redo it but a grand total of nothing happened on the show and I’m not going to waste even more time on such a pathetic excuse for a “special”.

Here is Mike Adamle to get things going. The fans are all over him before he tells a story about a man who worked in a circus like atmosphere and wasn’t very good at his job. He’s talking about Ronald Reagan, who went from being a B list movie star to the Presidency. Reagan acted with a monkey, while Adamle said Jeff Harvey.

There have been people criticizing his work as an ECW commentator and wanting his resignation. That is your right as an American but it isn’t an American that he wants to be in. He wants to be in an America where a 5’9 man can play seven years in the NFL and be a star. As for tonight, how many people would like to see a championship match tonight? Instead, we’ll do three of them, with Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase defending the Tag Team Titles against John Cena/Batista….and here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL knows what it means to make a bad first impression, but now people see him for the success that he is. After bragging about being featured in Fortune Magazine and being a former professional football player, he brings up the World Title match at Summerslam. Cue Chris Jericho to interrupt, saying he should get the title shot instead.

Bickering ensues, but Adamle cuts them off and makes JBL/Jericho vs. CM Punk, where either of them get the title shot at Summerslam if they beat him. If Punk wins, neither gets a title shot. That’s kind of an unfair stipulation, but I had to listen to Adamle talk so there is nothing fair. He’s just not the right pick for this spot and that was even more apparent here.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Burchill, with Katie Lea, is challenging and works on a wristlock to start. Kingston flips him over for two as we hear about Burchill’s rugby career. Some right hands in the corner keep Burchill in trouble but Katie offers a distraction, allowing Burchill to get in a clothesline. We hit something like a seated crossface chickenwing until Kingston fights up and strikes away. A crossbody gives Kingston two and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C+. Hopefully this finishes Burchill as a challenger as it feels like it has been going on for months now. Burchill hasn’t felt like a big time challenger but he keeps going after Kingston. The clean finish gives me some hope though as there is pretty much no reason to keep this going.

Post match the Burchills go after Kingston again, only to be cleared out. Cue Mickie James for her scheduled match with Katie.

Women’s Title: Katie Lea vs. Mickie James

Joined in progress with Mickie striking away, including a dropkick to the floor. Mickie hits a Thesz press off the apron and strikes away before doing the same in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes has Mickie in more trouble and we hit the surfboard. With that broken up, Mickie hits her own neckbreaker for two but Lea’s suplex gets the same. Not that it matters as the MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C. This feud has been going even longer than Kingston vs. Burchill and it’s nice to seemingly have it wrap up. Mickie is in need of a fresh challenger for the title and there aren’t many options around here. Lea is fine enough in the ring but there are only so many people she can face at the moment. For now though, it doesn’t seem to be Mickie and that’s fine.

Post match Beth Phoenix runs in to take Mickie out. Santino Marella approves and mild spanking ensues.

Mike Adamle calls Stephanie McMahon to thank her for the opportunity. Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella come in to interrupt because they both want title shots at Summerslam. Adamle says there is only room for one more match so they bicker a bit. Adamle finally cuts them off and makes a tag match between the two of them and Kofi Kingston/Mickie James, winner take all.

Video on John Cena.

Batista is happy to get a shot at the Tag Team Titles but could go for a different partner. He could also go for the World Title shot at Summerslam but if beating John Cena gets him there, so be it.

Layla dances in the ring and we see a clip of her ending things with Jamie Noble (who had made reservations at Waffle House). Cue William Regal to remind us that he is the King Of The Ring but here is Noble to interrupt. The brawl is on but referees break it up.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. Hold on though as Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say that this match has a ten minute time limit. If the match goes to the time limit, it’s a triple threat match at Summerslam for the title. JBL and Jericho argue to start so Punk jumps them, not wanting a triple threat either. A double shoulder drops Punk and Jericho gets sent outside. The fall away slam gives JBL two on Punk an JBL slowly hammers away in the corner.

Jericho manages to send JBL into the steps though and the chinlock has Punk in trouble. Back up and Punk catches him on top, only to get pulled into an abdominal stretch with five minutes left. JBL comes back in and tries to steal the pin on Punk, meaning it’s time for the villains to slug it out. JBL gets sent outside so the Lionsault can give Jericho two. Punk is back up with a springboard clothesline to JBL before sending Jericho into the corner with three minutes left.

Punk’s running knee in the corner sets up the bulldog to drop JBL and the GTS gets two with Jericho making the save. Jericho gets catapulted into JBL for two as we have a minute and a half left. Another GTS attempt is countered into the Walls on Punk with JBL making his own save…and then falling on Punk to steal the pin with one second left.

Rating: C+. This had quite a few different rules and while they might have been more complicated than necessary, at least it clears up the question of who will be getting the title shot. On the other hand, it’s JBL, who is just so boring with everything he does that he drains the life out of everything. Punk should be able to get a nice title defense, but dang it is not going to be interesting on the way there.

We get a long recap of Chris Jericho injuring Shawn Michaels’ eye and possibly ending his career.

Michaels joins us from San Antonio and says his eye is really banged up. The injury has allowed him to take a break and heal up a bit but he has all kinds of health issues. He has another evaluation two days before Summerslam and he wants to come to the show and announce his decision. If he is allowed to compete, even on a part time basis, he’ll do it, but he’s going to listen to his doctors. Chris Jericho said maybe Shawn should just go home and be with his family….and maybe he should.

Here is Matt Striker to remind us who he is and request the best competition.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Kane powers him away to start and shrugs off a forearm to the back. Kane plants him with a slam, hits the top rope clothesline and finishes with the chokeslam.

Post match Kane grabs the bag he has been carrying around and says he has been in a bad place lately. He looks at the bag and says “he’s not alive, he’s dead.”

Smackdown Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Video on Batista.

John Cena talks about how that video gives him a perspective on Batista, because it makes him know what Batista can do in the ring. As for Mike Adamle, we’ll have to see what happens with his time as the boss, but anyone can see what happens when Cena and Batista face off.

Cena has been overshadowed by Batista more than once and knew that they were going to go head to head at some point. They they both wound up on Raw and he knew it would happen one day. Then a few weeks ago, he punched Batista in the face and knew that one day was going to be at Summerslam. First though, they can become Tag Team Champions. Cena hopes they win. This was the kind of promo that made the match feel so much bigger, which is where Cena tends to shine.

Kelly Kelly comes in to see Mike Adamle to compliment him on everything he has done. She brings up Kane, but Adamle has an idea for him for next week. For now though, she’s going to watch the main event with him.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Batista/John Cena

Cena and Batista are challenging. DiBiase starts with Cena and is quickly knocked down for an early two. Batista comes in to shove Rhodes down and fires off the shoulders in the corner. A missed charge goes into the post though and we take a break. Back with Rhodes working on the arm but Batista powers out again and hands it off to Cena. DiBiase breaks up the FU though and hits a belly to back. The fist drop (ala his dad) has commentary thinking DiBiase is mocking the Five Knuckle Shuffle because these two aren’t very good at times.

Batista does not look impressed as Cena gets double elbowed down for two more. Rhodes grabs a sleeper (from the left for a weird look) and then DiBiase does the same (from the right side, in case you were wondering), only to have Cena reverse into one of his own. That’s broken up as well but Cena walks over and slaps Batista in the face for the tag. A backdrop and spear take DiBiase down and Cena cuts Rhodes off, leaving the Batista Bomb to connect for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. The match itself was fairly dull, but the storytelling with Batista not wanting to do this because he can’t stand Cena, while Cena is always going to want to compete and win because that’s who he is. It made for an interesting dynamic and gives another layer to a match that is pretty much already set up. Other than that, it was a fairly long match with Cena and Batista running through the champions at the end, which is a bit more acceptable when you have a modern day Mega Powers in Cena and Batista.

Batista rather forcefully hands Cena his belt and they slowly hold up the titles. It turns into a pose off and then a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show is pretty much Cena/Batista and then everything else, as there is very little that I would want to see otherwise. Adamle is just not interesting, which might be what they’re going for but it’s not making for the most thrilling material. Other than that, you have the World Title stuff which is hardly making me want to see what happens next. Batista and Cena are good stuff, but I’m going to need a lot more than that to sell this side of the Summerslam card.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 28, 2008: The Silence Is Deafening

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2008
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to Summerslam and the end of last week’s show seemed to set up what could be a heck of a big Raw main event. It seems that we are on the way to a showdown between John Cena and Batista, which is the kind of a match that could headline Wrestlemania if given the chance. That should do for Summerslam, but we could be in for a bit of an uneven reaction in Batista’s hometown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Batista/John Cena/CM Punk/Kane/JBL situation from last week, leaving us with Batista and Cena squaring off to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going and he has to acknowledge the mixed reaction. He is now perfect and he has made a mistake, meaning there are consequences to face. Last week, he hit Batista in the mouth and that means there are going to be consequences (I think he said that already.). If Batista would like to come out here, they can settle those consequences right now.

Cue Batista, who says that he saw what happened and they’re cool. They’re cool enough that once Batista defeats CM Punk to win the World Title, Cena is getting the first shot. Cena finds that nice….but Batista has already had his two shots. There are a lot of guys who deserve a shot and Cena isn’t sure Batista is at the top of that list. Batista laughs and says he knows CM Punk can’t beat him and neither can Cena.

That has Cena laughing as well, saying that Batista must be glad to be back home. A match between them should headline Wrestlemania, but what if we did Wrestlemania tonight? Batista likes the sound of that….but here is the returning Shane McMahon to interrupt. He and Stephanie McMahon have selected the new General Manager for tonight’s show, who we will meet later.

The new GM has made a bunch of matches tonight, including CM Punk against a free agent. As for Batista vs. Cena, it won’t be happening tonight, because Cena will be facing JBL and Kane. Oh and he can have Batista as a partner. Shane seemed a bit off here, speaking much more quietly and calmly than usual.

Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly/D’Lo Brown

Before the match, Santino and Beth argued over who kissed whom last week but agreed to keep this strictly professional. The men start things off, with Santino saying he has this but getting his kick to the ribs blocked. Brown hits him with a rather hard clothesline and then knocks him into the corner off a right hand.

A missed charge lets Santino grab a neckbreaker though but he can’t manage a fireman’s carry. Instead Beth tags herself in and easily lifts Brown for a funny spot. Kelly comes in for some running forearms but Beth knees her down without much trouble. Santino wants in but misses an elbow, which does not sit well with Beth. Instead Santino grabs a rollup for the fast pin and the big celebration.

Post match we get a celebratory…handshake, but neither seem happy with that. Santino puckers up but gets glared at, only to have Beth grab him by the hair for a rather firm kiss of her own.

Shane McMahon looks at a picture of Vince McMahon when JBL interrupts to ask how Vince is doing. Shane ignores the question so JBL moves on to asking about the World Title. That’s something JBL needs to take up with the GM, but his question about Kane is cut off by a phone call from the new GM (and yes the ringtone is Shane’s theme song).

Raw Tag Team Titles: Jim Duggan/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are defending and Lawler comes out from the entrance rather than just getting up from commentary. Actually hold on though as the new General Manager has sent in a notice saying that Lawler will not be teaming up with Duggan, but there is a replacement.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./Cody Rhodes

DiBiase and Rhodes are still defending and Cole is less than happy. After a break, Cole is on the apron (meaning no commentary, which is always weird) and Lawler naturally tells him that he’s going to do this on his own. DiBiase starts for the team and backs Lawler into the corner for a surprisingly clean break. It works so well that DiBiase does it again, but this time Lawler slaps him in the face to pick things up a bit.

DiBiase runs him over and hammers away before handing it off to Rhodes, who gets slapped as well. Lawler hammers Rhodes down in the corner but a middle rope dropkick gets Rhodes out of trouble. We hit the armbar but Lawler fights up and slugs away, as he is known to do. It’s way too early for the piledriver though and Lawler is sent into the corner…where Cole makes contact and that’s a tag. Rhodes sends Lawler outside so Cole actually hits him in the face, much to the fans’ delight. A hard clothesline retains the title.

Rating: C. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s ok for something like this one. The new GM is apparently quite the villain, which should make for a bigger deal later tonight. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes looked like the biggest villains in the world here, which is a good sign and better than they would have gotten out of Lawler and Duggan.

Post break Mike Adamle has taken over for Cole. Adamle says he was told to be here this week, suggesting that the GM had this planned in advance.

Here is Jamie Noble, with Layla, to say the new GM needs to pay attention to him. He wants to show off for Layla and prove that he’s the next Intercontinental Champion, so “Coffee” Kingston needs to get out here right now.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jamie Noble

Non-title. Noble hammers away to start and slams him down for two. Kofi is back up with the assortment of kicks into the Boom Drop, setting up a middle rope crossbody. Noble tries a fireman’s carry but gets caught with the spinning kick to the head to give Kingston the fast pin.

CM Punk vs. ???

Non-title, JBL is on commentary, and it’s……the returning William Regal, who is back from a Wellness suspension. Regal (in a sleeveless vest for a weird visual) grabs a headlock to start and takes Punk down. They go to the mat and Punk is rather overmatched. A jawbreaker gets Punk out of trouble and a leg lariat puts Regal down. Some knees in the corner just annoy Regal though and he hammers away, setting up a kick to the head against the post.

Back in and Punk (bleeding from the nose) gets taken down with Regal grinding a forearm into the jaw. Regal slowly forearms away and grabs a half nelson, which isn’t something you often see. Punk fights up and kicks away, including a hard one upside the head for two. A hard half nelson suplex drops Punk again, only to have him come back with the GTS for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. They were beating each other up out there and it was a fun match to see, even if it didn’t last long. You can imagine Punk being rather happy with getting to work with a veteran like Regal, who was probably happy to be back period. It was a nice return for Regal, who is always nice to have around.

Post match JBL gets in the ring so Punk is waiting on him, only for Kane to come out and drop JBL. Punk goes after Kane and gets taken down by JBL, who seems to come to an understanding with Kane.

Here are Chris Jericho and Lance Cade, for what is described as the final Highlight Reel. Jericho, in a suit, talks about how he has done something none of the fans here have done as he grew up. For years, he was seen as an entertainer and a party host for the new millennium. That is what he thought the fans wanted so he went along with it and even hosted his own talk show.

It was a pathetic mistake to pander to the fans and he was wrong to go that way. He will never settle for what the fans want again so tonight, the Highlight Reel is over. Before we go though, Jericho has a special tribute to a man whose career he personally ended. It’s not Shawn Michaels though, but rather Y2J. We see some clips of Jericho’s less than serious moments (a lot of which involves being mean to Stephanie McMahon) before Jericho asks if the fans miss that guy.

That footage embarrasses Jericho because he could have done that forever but no one would have ever respected him like Shawn Michaels. That made him realize he had to do something about it so he has given Michaels such a beating that he is gone forever. When he hurt Michaels, he hurt every one of the fans. Cade says he appreciates Jericho for taking him under his wing and saving him.

Jericho appreciates him as well, just like he appreciates how hard it is for Michaels to try to watch this show. He wants Michaels to listen to him for the first time ever: stay home and move on with your life. Enjoy life away from wrestling and move on, just like Jericho has. Speaking of which, he wants the Summerslam title match too. This was the really good evil Jericho and he has me wanting to see Michaels come back and get his revenge. Great stuff here.

Jim Ross joins commentary and has to correct Adamle from saying Survivor Series tickets will be on sale, because they will be “available”. That is a Vince line if I’ve ever heard one.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie’s dad is in the front row. Mickie starts fast and tries the hurricanrana but gets faceplanted for her efforts. Hall’s running flipping faceplant sets up something like a dragon sleeper, followed by some screeching. JR critiques Adamle’s move calling as Mickie fights back with a Thesz press and slugs away. The MickieDT finishes Hall rather quickly.

Post match Mickie goes to hug her dad but gets jumped by Katie Lea Burchill. Paul Burchill comes out as Katie says they’ll both be champions soon.

Todd Grisham can’t get Shane McMahon to reveal the GM, but whoever it is, they’re already here.

Summerslam rundown.

Jenny McCarthy still doesn’t like autism. Various celebrities agree.

Cryme Tyme have John Cena’s back for the main event but Batista comes in. Cena says he has this so Cryme Tyme leaves, with Batista telling Cena to stay out of his way. Then they aren’t sure who should go to the ring first.

Batista/John Cena vs. Kane/John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena and JBL start things off with JBL hammering him down to limited avail. Cena is right back with the Throwback for one and Batista tags himself in as JR is trying to figure out why he’s on the show this week. JBL’s forearm to the back doesn’t get him very far as Batista plants him with a powerslam. Kane makes the save so the villains are cleared out, leaving Batista and Cena to glare at each other as we take a break.

Back with JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker to put Cena down and handing it off to Kane. A basement dropkick and slam give Kane two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so it’s back to JBL, who knocks Cena into the corner again. Cena fights up again (he does that a lot) and double clotheslines Kane down. The big tag brings in Batista to clean house including the spinebuster to JBL (Batista was polite enough to say “SPINEBUSTER” before he did it).

A low bridge takes Batista down though and Kane gets to come back in for a kick to the ribs. Kane stays on said ribs with a bodyscissors before it’s back to JBL to hammer away in the corner. Batista gets up again and spears JBL, who is right back with a big boot. Unfortunately JBL is also back with a right hand that hits Kane by mistake, meaning it’s time for some stalking. Cena uses the distraction to tag himself in and hit the AA to finish Kane.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt like a big main event, though there is only so much interest in Batista and Cena as partners when they are likely to be fighting each other in a few weeks. Other than that you have Kane and JBL who are….well they’re not that interesting. There isn’t a big time heel at the moment and odds are that is going to be the GM, which doesn’t have the best track record.

Post match Shane McMahon comes out to announce that the new General Manager is….Mike Adamle. The fans are stunned into silence and it’s made even worse as he announces Cena vs. Batista for Summerslam. The staredown gets almost no reaction as the fans are stunned by the announcement to end the show. If that’s the best they’ve got, this show is in BIG trouble because the silence was almost scary after that announcement.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a very good show in the first place and then it was made even worse by that terrible reveal at the end. I’m not sure how the best choice is the third show’s dorky/dumb announcer, but I don’t see this ending well. Maybe they have something better planned, but possibly the biggest match at Summerslam getting that kind of a reaction is a very telling sign. The rest of the show was hardly much better, with a bunch of lame stuff and nothing worth seeing. Pretty weak show here, and it isn’t giving me much hope going forward either.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 21, 2008: Cool For The Summerslam

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2008
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

So it’s been a bit since I’ve been on these but I might as well at least get through Summerslam. The Great American Bash has wrapped up and the big story is that CM Punk is still the Raw World Champion after going to a double DQ with Batista. At the same time, he is probably also going to have to deal with Kane, who attacked Punk after the match, and John Bradshaw Layfield, who actually beat John Cena. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Great American Bash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Great American Bash, or at least the main event scene on the Raw side.

Batista is in the production truck and doesn’t like the recap of Kane attacking him.

Opening sequence.

Here is a ticked off Batista to get things going. He planned on coming out here as the new World Heavyweight Champion but then Kane got involved to cost him that title match. Since the McMahons aren’t here now, he’s going to put himself in charge, meaning he’ll be getting a rematch for the title against CM Punk. If anyone has a problem with that….and here is JBL on the Titantron to interrupt.

JBL asks why Batista should get the World Title match when he lost last night. He is entitled to the next World Title shot, but Batista thinks JBL should come out here and discuss that idea. JBL is banged up though and it’s feeling that tonight…so here is CM Punk to interrupt. Punk doesn’t want to hear from JBL right now (JBL is aghast) because he isn’t happy with Kane either.

Punk wanted to prove that he was the better man last night against Batista….so let’s do it again tonight. JBL rants on the Titantron but Batista says cut his mic. Punk is on for the match against Batista, with the title on the line, tonight. There are a bunch of matches to be had out of here and that is certainly one of them.

Jenny McCarthy welcomes us to join her in the ring to fight autism on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Oh dear.

Here is Shawn Michaels……’ music, with Lance Cade coming out instead. Cade used to look up to him as his mentor, but then things changed. He wants Shawn out here right now to have some words but here is Paul London instead.

Lance Cade vs. Paul London

London slugs away to start and jumps over him in the corner but Cade is right back with a backbreaker. London’s back gets bent over Cade’s knee for a bit before Cade sends him ribs first into the post. The sitout Rock Bottom spinebuster finishes London in a hurry to complete what was more or less a squash.

Post match Cade says that since Michaels won’t come out here, we’ll have Chris Jericho come out instead. Jericho says Michaels isn’t coming out tonight and he won’t be coming back. We look at Jericho beating Michaels the previous night via stoppage due to Michaels’ eye being destroyed, complete with the big dramatic music.

Back in the ring, Jericho talks about how Michaels knew how bad things were going to be and got in the ring anyway because he had to take another chance. Jericho talks about all of Michaels’ injuries, including a detached retina, which means he will never be able to see properly again. The thing is though that when Michaels’ eye closed, Jericho’s opened instead. Michaels never mentored Jericho, and now he is happy with what he did last night. The lack of remorse here was rather good and that has some potential, especially whenever Michaels gets back.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Kelly slips behind her to start and sweeps the leg but a rollup is easily blocked. Phoenix muscles her up for a slam and we hit something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly’s enziguri his shoulder, setting up the screaming headscissors. The handspring elbow is loaded up and quickly blocked though, setting up the Glam Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was more about Kelly getting in some offense instead of being wrecked by Beth, which was quite the surprise. Beth already beat Santino Marella last week so it is clear that she is in for something big, though Kelly certainly got a focus here. She has a lot of the tools already and if she can get the in-ring aspect down, it could go rather well for her.

Here is Jim Duggan for a chat. He isn’t going to take up much time, but he is thinking about hanging up his boots. Last week, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes said this was a game for young men, and maybe his time has passed by. He wanted to come out here and say thank you, but Jerry Lawler cuts him off. There is no age limit around here and Duggan can keep going as long as he wants to. Duggan can do something that Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do: get people to stand up and cheer USA. Duggan seems to like that and says no, he doesn’t want to give it up.

Cue Rhodes and DiBiase, with the latter thinking this is amazing. Just because Lawler likes to date women younger than him, he doesn’t get to explain things. Rhodes says he was two and a half years old when Duggan won the Royal Rumble, but they weren’t even alive when Lawler slapped Andy Kaufman. Lawler demonstrates the slap and DiBiase has to hold Cody back. For now though, they can deal with this later, but watch what’s about to happen.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Cryme Tyme/John Cena

Both Cena and JBL are rather banged up after last night but they start things off….with JBL handing it off to Cody instead. Cena punches him in the face and gets two off the bulldog before stopping to glare at JBL. Gaspard comes in for two off an elbow and a rather hard clothesline in the corner.

It’s off to DiBiase, who is quickly suplexed for two as the one sidedness continues. JTG comes in but gets caught with a cheap shot, which is enough for JBL to come in for a change. The big shoulder drops JTG and it’s back to Cody for the bearhug. That’s broken up due to reasons of it’s Cody doing a bearhug but DiBiase comes in to cut off the tag.

A middle rope double stomp gets two and Cody adds a top rope knee to the ribs. DiBiase drops some elbows on the ribs and grabs a bodyscissors as the villains certainly have a target here. JTG finally fights up and hits a quick dropkick for a breather. Cody comes ni but misses a charge into the post, allowing the tag off to Cena to start the house cleaning. JBL bails through the crowd, leaving Cena to fireman’s carry both Cody and DiBiase at the same time. Cody gets tossed and the FU finishes DiBiase.

Rating: C+. The heat segment on JTG was pretty long but Cena coming in to smash people is always worth a glance. While I could have gone without one of the Tag Team Champions losing, getting pinned by Cena is hardly the end of a career. Cryme Tyme continues to do well as Cena’s friends and that is certainly better than what they had been doing.

Chris Jericho and Lance Cade are going to lave but run into Kane, who still has that mask.

Various celebrities support Jenny McCarthy’s autism charity, which is working with WWE.

Mickie James/Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill/Katie Lea

Mickie knocks Katie into the corner to start so Burchill comes in for some glaring. Kingston high crossbodies him to break that up but Burchill hammers him down rather quickly. The leg cranking goes on for a bit before Kingston is up with a sunset flip for two. The women start brawling on the floor so Burchill breaks it up before ducking Trouble In Paradise, which hits the post. Back in and the Wicked Sister gives Burchill the pin.

Rating: C+. This had some nice high spots from Kingston but it was mainly there for Burchill to get the pin, likely setting up a title match. That could be fine for a one off match, though I’m not sure if Burchill is going to be the biggest threat. He’ll do for now though, even if Lea might not be so equal to James.

Jamie Noble is hitting on Layla when Batista comes in to ask if Noble has seen Kane. That’s a rather rude no, so Batista chokes Noble and says if he sees Kane, let him know that Batista is looking for him.

CM Punk says if he goes down, he’s going down swinging. JBL comes in to say he wants the World Title shot at Summerslam. He threatens to make Punk a transitional champion but Punk points out that he already beat JBL. Glaring ensues.

We look at Chris Jericho damaging Shawn Michaels’ eye again last night. It’s the same footage from earlier.

Here is Santino Marella for an open challenge. Well open to anyone but women that is.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Well there’s a surprise and cue Beth Phoenix to watch. Brown throws him into the corner and there’s a suplex to put him down again. A basement clothesline sets up the Low Down to give Brown the easy pin.

Post match Brown leaves so Phoenix gets in the ring and decks Marella. She wants a fight and they do a standing switch….then they stare at each other and kiss. As it tends to go.

Toby Keith doesn’t like autism, but he does like Jenny McCarty trying to fight autism.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. CM Punk

Batista is challenging…and here is Kane before the match gets started. The brawl is on, with Punk running in and getting beaten down as well. After some questions from the referee and the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Punk’s headlock doesn’t last long as Batista kicks him in he face to take over.

Back up and Punk gets in a neckbreaker and kicks away for two. A drop toehold lets Punk take him down and hammer away as the fans don’t seem thrilled so far. Punk fires off some knees to the back and puts on a choke, which is broken up even faster. The Figure Four necklock goes on for a bit before Punk hits a running knee to the face for two more. The running knee into the bulldog gets two but Punk’s springboard clothesline is spinebustered out of the air. Batista fires off the shoulders in the corner and hits the spear, only for JBL to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This really didn’t work and that might be because Punk was on offense for so much of it. Punk beating on Batista is only so easy to believe in the first place and it doesn’t help when he’s already presented as an underdog champion. On top of that, you had the fans waiting on what was likely going to be some kind of run in, so there was only so much reason to get into things here.

Post match John Cena runs in to go after JBL but hits Batista by mistake. Cena and Batista have to be held back and there’s Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t so much about doing anything here but rather about setting the pieces up for later. You can pretty clearly see Batista vs. Cena being set up at the end, which leaves JBL to challenge Punk because we’re that lucky. Other than that we probably have another Jericho vs. Michaels match coming up, which makes for a heck of a top of the card on the Raw side. Not a great show here, but it has set the stage for the good ones later.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – July 14, 2008: Crash TV

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2008
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Somehow it’s been about three months since I’ve done one of these. It’s the last Raw before the Great American Bash and the big match on the Raw side will see Batista challenging CM Punk for the World Title. Other than that, JBL continues to think he runs the show and it’s still not quite interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week, with Batista becoming the #1 contender for CM Punk’s World Title. Then Kane snapped and went all evil (again), this time attacking Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole.

Shane and Stephanie McMahon want us to all pull together to get through the times without Vince McMahon around. If things don’t get better, actions will be taken.

We go to the arena where Shawn Michaels is attacking Chris Jericho before Jericho can say anything. Lance Cade runs in for the save to get Jericho out of harm’s way.

With the three of them gone, here is Kane, complete with a small bag. Kane leans over the commentary table and says he’s sorry as the fans chant for Lawler. Then Kane walks off without getting physical.

In the back, Shawn Michaels has attacked Chris Jericho again and it has to be broken up.

Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Non-title and Paul Burchill is here with Katie. Mickie grabs some early rollups for two each but the hurricanrana out of the corner is blocked. Katie pulls her around by the hair for two and we hit the reverse chinlock. We’ll make that a regular chinlock but Mickie is right back up. Mickie’s tornado DDT is blocked but now the hurricanrana works. The top rope Thesz press puts Katie away.

Rating: C-. Katie’s time seems to have come and gone, which is a shame as there is always the place for a British villain. Mickie is in need of some fresh challengers as she has been champion for awhile and no one seems to be giving her a threat. Granted that is likely to wind up being Beth Phoenix, as there isn’t anyone else who feels like they are on Mickie’s level.

Post match Paul and Katie go after Mickie until Kofi Kingston makes the save. It would have been rude for him not to make a save after Paul looked over his shoulder that many times.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Paul Burchill

Kingston is defending, the women are still here and we’re joined in progress with Kingston hitting a jumping elbow. A small package gives Kingston two before he grabs an armbar. An armdrag sets up another armbar as they’ve certainly slowed down a bit. Back up and Kofi’s dropkick gets two and it’s right back to the armbar.

Burchill fights up again and kicks him out of the corner for two, setting up a waistlock. A gutbuster and backsplash give Burchill two but Kingston fights out of another waistlock. Kingston’s Russian legsweep sets up the Boom Drop but here is Katie on the apron. That’s broken up by Mickie and Trouble In Paradise retains the title.

Rating: C. This was mostly armbars and waistlocks, which didn’t exactly make for an entertaining match. Other than that it was Kingston beating someone who didn’t feel like much of a threat. That being said, Kingston needs to pile up some wins to make himself feel more like a champion so giving him another win helps as much as anything else.

Santino Marella tells Matt Striker about his open challenge tonight. Cue Kane to ask about CM Punk. Santino: “Did you try the Pepsi machine?”

Post break Kane goes up to CM Punk, saying deep down inside, he knows someone is dead. Punk doesn’t know what is going on but Kane wants him tonight, one on one. Punk isn’t sure but Kane says this isn’t about the title. As usual, Punk is down for a challenge and the match is on. Punk asks about the bag Kane is carrying but Kane clutches it closer and leaves without saying anything.

A serious John Cena talks about how Vince McMahon is not here and he is trying to keep a good face on. Then JBL challenged him to a New York City Parking Lot Brawl and Cena can’t smile anymore. For those of you who don’t know what it’s about, it’s a war instead of a match. The two of them will be fighting in a circle of cars in a parking lot and anything goes. It’s about breaking bones and ripping flesh and we will find out if a man’s pride will fold. The question is why Cena would accept such a challenge but the reality is he and JBL don’t like each other.

Cena is down for one more fight at the Great American Bash because JBL considers himself a great American, which makes Cena sick. He’s happy to try to break some of JBL’s bones and send the face of a great American through every window he can find. Cena wants to see some real fear from JBL because this isn’t a fight with some pretty boy. Extreme violence is promised and here is Cryme Tyme to stand beside Cena, who accepts the challenge. As for tonight, let’s make it a six man with JBL finding any two partners he can.

Santino Marella vs. ???

It’s open challenge time and here is….Beth Phoenix to answer. They fight over a lockup to start until Beth shows him a double bicep. Beth takes him down and hammers away before easily powering out of a headlock. A slam gives Beth two but Santino shouts about being a man, only to miss a charge into the corner. That’s enough for Beth to grab a rollup for the fast pin, leaving Santino rather flummoxed.

Here is Kelly Kelly for a match but Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase interrupt. They know she has a match tonight….but they don’t care so she can leave. Cody talks about how the two of them have gotten a lot of unfair criticisms but they’re not bad guys. They’re just better than their fathers. When you’re this talented, you don’t need to pay dues. Imagine what happens when they enter their primes.

Cue Jim Duggan of all people to interrupt, saying he knows their dads. They’re old school, just like him. The difference is the old school people respected the generations that paved the way for them. DiBiase and Rhodes are better athletes, but they have a lot of growing up to do. Cody says Duggan might be on to something but Cody calls out Duggan for being 54 years old and trying to relive some glory days which weren’t that glorious in the first place.

DiBiase asks if Duggan thinks he still has what it takes anymore, when he’s really just here looking for a reaction. Duggan is the one who needs to grow up, and the two of them leave. JBL pops up on the screen to say they have earned the right to team with him in the main event. They’re in.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Non-title. Kane chokes him into the corner to start but Punk kicks his way to freedom. Punk manages to kick him out to the floor, where Kane cuts off a slide to take over again. The basement dropkick gives Kane two and we hit the cravate. We’ll make that a chinlock until Punk fights up and strikes away. A series of kicks sends Kane into the corner but the bulldog out of it is broken up. Instead Punk hits a heck of a kick to the head for one and a high crossbody gets two. Kane knocks him outside where Punk grabs a bulldog, which is enough to beat the count for the win.

Rating: C+. That was about as good of a way out as they had as Kane is the new monster and Punk is the new champion so there was only so much they could have done. At the same time it might have been better to not make the match in the first place, but at least Punk didn’t lose. Punk is always going to fight from behind and winning by countout is about as good as he can get in this spot.

Post match Kane throws in a bunch of chairs and wraps one around Punk’s neck but Batista makes the save. Batista helps Punk up so Punk offers him a handshake, but Batista wants the title. Batista gives him a not so nice slap on the face so Punk shoves, earning himself a spinebuster.

We look back at John Cena and Cryme Tyme destroying JBL’s limo last week.

Chris Jericho vs. Paul London

Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who pounds London into the corner and hits a running boot to the head. London gets sent outside in a heap before Jericho chokes on the ropes back inside. A spinwheel kick gives London a breather but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho hits a butterfly backbreaker and calls out Shawn Michaels before grabbing the Liontamer for the fast tap.

Post match Jericho says London can take that loss like he would and learn from it, or take it like Shawn Michaels and do nothing. Cue Shawn to say nothing will change between them and teasing more violence.

Jamie Noble hits on Layla, suggesting that they can be the Raw power couple. Layla says she doesn’t date short men but Noble says he’s way above average in the ring. Noble offers to jump the next guy who comes through here so cue Snitsky to tell him to be quiet. Layla isn’t impressed so Noble stands up to Snitsky. Even Layla realizes this is stupid as Noble calls Snitsky out to the ring. They wind up in said ring and a pumphandle slam leaves Noble laying.

We get the Shane/Stephanie McMahon plea for unity from earlier tonight.

Great American Bash rundown.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. John Cena/Cryme Tyme

Cena and Rhodes start things off with Cena slugging him into a corner but glaring at JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Cody Rhodes again, setting up another glare. Shad comes in for a release butterfly suplex to DiBiase so it’s back to Rhodes to kick away at JTG. Rhodes makes the mistake of telling JTG to shine his shoes and gets taken down with a Sling Blade for his troubles.

JBL comes in and is smart enough to taunt Cena in, meaning we get some double choking in the corner. JTG’s comeback is cut off by a dropkick to the knee and the villains get to take over on said knee. The leglock goes on and we take a break with JTG in more trouble. Back with JBL hitting a hard clothesline and the slow beating continuing.

Rhodes goes old school with a spinning toehold until JTG kicks him away, which still isn’t enough to get over for the tag. JTG finally gets away and brings Cena back in to pick the pace way up. JBL bails and it’s an FU to DiBiase into the Throwback to Rhodes. Cena’s top rope Fameasser hits Rhodes but JBL is back to break up the STFU…for the DQ. That’s a pretty lame reason for a DQ but sure enough. Even Lawler doesn’t seem sure why that was a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was slow and not exactly good, with the ending feeling like a rather pitiful way out. It’s not a good sign when commentary is confused about what happened, even when it should have been pretty clear. I get that you don’t want a champion jobbing, but JBL couldn’t have used a chair or something a little more violent? Other than that, it was a rather long heat segment on JTG and that wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match JBL walks off and taunts Cena to follow him to the back. Cena gives chase and realizes he has to go into the parking lot (where a camera happens to be waiting). Then he stands around a lot in total silence until JBL finally jumps him from behind with something metal. JBL sits the unconscious Cena in front of a car and crushes him, then gets out and realizes what he’s done to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t quite thrilled with this show as the focus was on Cena vs. JBL, which hasn’t been an interesting feud in a long time. The World Champion feels like a third wheel behind the battling John’s and Shawn vs. Jericho. There is some good stuff going on closer to the top of the card, but my goodness the lower part of the show isn’t exactly holding the rest of it up.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2008: Almost All About The Money

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2008
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Both Night Of Champions and the Draft are looming, but this is about MONEY! Tonight is the official start of the new concept as Vince McMahon is going to be giving money to the fans. I’m sure this won’t dominate the conversation on commentary, even with John Cena challenging HHH at the pay per view is already set. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vince McMahon and it’s money time. Vince has $1 million in cash brought out and put in a case, as he explains how to win (register, answer the password he gives you, win money). The password is “WWE Universe” and we’ll have our first phone call, for $200,000, after our first match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill, who is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and Kennedy grabs a headlock as commentary talks about Kennedy’s rising popularity since he got rid of William Regal. Burchill belly to back suplexes Kennedy into the corner to escape and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long as Kennedy is back up with a running boot to the head. The Mic Check finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: C. Kennedy wins again and that is how you give someone a push. WWE is building him back up and winning a quick feud against Burchill should give him a nice step up. You can sense that WWE wants to do something big with Kennedy and he seems to be off to a nice restart.

Post match Katie comes in to slap Kennedy, allowing Burchill to hit the Twisted Sister (JR: “Holy Dee Snider!”

Here is Vince for the $200,000 giveaway and he even puts his glasses on to make the call. First up, Vince calls the wrong number, then he calls someone whose number plays music until the person answers the phone. The guy picks up but Vince hangs up on him, leaving JR and King a bit stunned. Vince: “You guys want to win $200,000 or not?” Vince calls the music guy again and this time he gets through, with the guy giving the password and winning the money. More later and hopefully with some more entertaining hijinks.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title. Mickie kicks her in the ribs to start but a DDT attempt is countered into a kind of side slam for two. A slingshot suplex gives Beth two more but Mickie headscissors her way out of a powerbomb. Mickie hits a running dropkick to the face for two before the top rope Thesz press finishes Beth in a hurry.

Post match Beth decks Mickie but Melina runs in to go after Beth, including a top rope faceplant.

It’s time to give away more money and the guy wins $75,000.

John Cena and HHH run into each other in the back and talk about what a big match they’ll have at Night Of Champions. It’s not personal, but rather about being the best. HHH says he’s the best right now, but Cena reminds him of their Wrestlemania match. They’ll see what happens at Night Of Champions.

Charlie Haas of all people is here to help give away more money. Vince McMahon tries to call a few times and can’t get anywhere, as he makes jokes about modern technology and a “crack staff”. A guy named Gabe brings Vince another number, with Haas getting to dial. Actually never mind as Vince dials and gets through to a woman who wins $50,000.

Hang on though, as Vince says he’ll make it $100,000 if Haas can kiss a Diva. Cue Maria and kissing ensues, but Vince says if Haas can kiss another Diva, the woman gets another $25,000. Cue Mae Young, who grabs Haas by the trunks and kisses him. Ron Simmons comes out for his catchphrase as Young has Haas begging for help. That was as weird of a segment as you could have hoped to see.

JBL thinks no one deserves money but John Cena deserves a beating.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

HHH is on commentary and a quick distraction lets JBL hammer away in the corner. JBL forearms him in the back but gets pulled down with the running bulldog. A swinging neckbreaker cuts Cena down for two but he gets up to stare JBL out to the floor. HHH and JBL have a standoff and we take a break.

Back with JBL kicking Cena in the face on the floor and dropping an elbow for a bonus. The cravate goes on back inside as we see Lawler on WWE.com for some reason. The sleeper goes on and Cena is in about as much trouble as you would expect for a sleeper to give John Cena. Another big boot cuts Cena down but he pops back up and initiates the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped though and the Clothesline From JBL gets a delayed two thanks to a foot on the rope. JBL loads up the announcers’ table, which takes long enough that Cena can grab a small package for the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two only have so much chemistry together and they don’t have great matches for two bigger stars. Granted it doesn’t help that Cena losing to JBL seems almost hard to fathom, especially with a big title match coming up. At least JBL got in some more offense here, but the whole rivalry being so one sided isn’t doing them any favors.

Post match Cena gets on the announcers’ table but HHH trips him down and leaves.

Vince McMahon comes out to give away more money, but first he talks to Lilian Garcia. He brings up her measurements and adds them up to 98, so let’s give away $98,000. A woman answers and wins.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. His guest was a hero to Jericho as a child and during his career, so here is Shawn Michaels. Jericho talks about how Shawn is still banged up from the beating Batista gave him but brings up the “fake” knee injury. Shawn says the only person he lied to about the knee injury was Jericho himself, with Jericho talking about how he always get booed for telling the truth. Jericho wants to know how Shawn has become such a lying worm of a human being…and jumps him to start the fight. A low blow cuts Shawn off and Jericho says this is what Shawn wanted. Then he sends him face first into the Jeritron 5000 to bust Shawn’s eye open.

Post break, we see what we saw pre break.

Snitsky/Umaga vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title and my goodness how far Umaga has fallen. Cody dodges Snitsky to start before handing it off to Holly. That doesn’t go so well to start as Holly goes to the middle rope but Cody wanted a double suplex. The suplex works but Holly gets annoyed at Cody, allowing Snitsky to jump Holly and take over. Umaga comes in for a clothesline but Snitsky misses the big elbow for a crash. The double tag brings in Cody to slug away at Umaga but the dropkick only puts him on one knee. Umaga’s swinging release Rock Bottom is a swinging release faceplant this time and the Samoan Spike finishes Cody fast.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here and it’s not exactly interesting to see Cody and Holly losing over and over. They only felt like a makeshift team in the first place but they’ve been champions for months now. That doesn’t make for a great story and now it seems we are on the way towards their inevitable demise. I’m sure Snitsky and Umaga will get a title shot out of this though yes?

Post match Ted DiBiase Jr. comes out to say the champs need to get their act together before they lose the titles at Night Of Champions.

WWE does work with Make-A-Wish. That’s always awesome, as the smiles on those kids’ faces are amazing.

Back in the arena and Vince McMahon cuts off Jillian Hall and Trevor Murdoch’s singing to give someone $2, the value of Hall’s singing. That’s so cruel it’s almost hilarious. Vince calls someone else and gives him $200,000, earning some swearing in happiness.

Cryme Tyme vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Santino and JTG start things off with Santino grabbing a rollup for a fast two. JTG does it right back for the same and Santino is already looking annoyed. Shad comes in for a slam before Alabama Slamming JTG onto Santino for two. JTG gets knocked out of the air though and Marella puts on a camel clutch. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Shad hitting an STO for the pin on Santino.

Rating: C. Hopefully that starts the end of Carlito and Marella’s run as a team as my goodness they’re about as lame of a team as you can get. Other than that, this was a nice win for Cryme Tyme, as they always seem ready to move on up to the title picture. Not enough time to do much here, but at least the right team won.

Post match Vince McMahon calls Cryme Tyme to the stage as he gives away $51,998. Lawler: “Did he say $51,998?” JR: “That’s right Jerome.” And the fan wins.

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. HHH runs him over with a shoulder to start but stops to stare at Cena, allowing Hardy to hammer away. More right hands look to set up the Twist of Fate but HHH powers him off and hits the spinebuster. The jumping knee gets two on Hardy and we hit the abdominal stretch (complete with a rope grab of course).

The facebuster connects as commentary talks about the value of a good right hand. Back up and Hardy misses the Whisper in the Wind, allowing HHH to clothesline him out to the floor. Hardy manages to drop him ribs first onto the barricade but HHH hiptosses Hardy into Cena for the crash. That’s enough for Cena to pull HHH off the apron….and Hardy wins by countout. Ok then.

Rating: C+. They got to do a bit here but it was only about nine minutes long and with that screwy finish. Cena vs. HHH does feel like a huge match but I would imagine it headlining Summerslam rather than Night Of Champions. At the same time, Hardy is getting a nice push here as well, which could bode well for his future.

Post match Cena and HHH stare each other down on the floor before Hardy dives onto both of them.

Vince McMahon comes out and thanks everyone for making Million Dollar Mania work. Then he gives a fan $250,000 to end the show with promises of another $1 million giveaway next week.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was mostly all about the money and it’s not exactly an interesting thing to see. Other than Vince not being able to use a phone very well and some mishaps, it was a lot of “here’s a person winning money”. The rest of the show wasn’t very interesting either, though HHH vs. Cena does feel like a huge pay per view match. Other than that though, pretty weak stuff this time around.

 

 

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One Night Stand 2008 (2023 Edition): This Has To Be It

One Night Stand 2008
Date: June 1, 2008
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 9,961
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s time to go EXTREME as every match has some sort of a stipulation announced. The big Raw main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match. On the other side, the vacant Smackdown World Title is literally up for grabs in a TLC match between Edge and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening match focuses on how everything is EXTREME with all kinds of matches.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Falls Count Anywhere. Umaga goes with the power to start but a quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy a breather. Hardy goes up top but dives into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Umaga misses a charge and falls to the floor though, allowing Hardy to hit a dive for two. They fight into the crowd and then up to the set, where Hardy hits him in the face with a traffic cone. That just earns him a superkick but Umaga misses a charge.

The fight heads into the back, where Umaga shrugs off a fire extinguisher blast and sends him into a wall. Hardy walks up the steps and slides down the handrail to take Umaga down in a rather unique crash. They wind up outside with Hardy being sent into an anvil case for two, only to send Umaga into the back door of an equipment truck. Hardy climbs up onto another truck and knocks Umaga down, setting up a Swanton off of said truck for the pin in one of the most unique looking dives you’ll ever see.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t the longest match, but I can absolutely appreciate them doing something other than the same old stuff. This was only in and around the ring for a minute or two at the start and then it felt like something of an old school hardcore match. It’s nice to see them going into a few different places for a change. Have some fun with the match, especially when you can open the show.

Earlier today, Mick Foley explained a stretcher match, complete with a demonstration.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore cane match (meaning each corner has a pole with a cane at the top) and the winner gets the ECW Title shot later this month at Night Of Champions. Bam Neely is here with Chavo to make it six people out there at once. Everyone goes after Show to start and it goes about as well as you would expect, with Show being the last man standing.

The others get back up though and take Show down, setting up the quadruple sticking. With Show down on the floor, everyone quickly turns on each other until Chavo takes Punk outside. Chavo’s big swing hits NFL star Shawn Merriman, who takes it back and hits Chavo instead. Show picks up the steps so Morrison takes out his knee, sending Show’s face into the steps.

Back in and Dreamer counters the GTS into a Texas Cloverleaf but Morrison makes the save. A Tower of Doom takes out everyone….except for Show, who pops up. Neely gets taken down and Morrison is beaten up next. Back in and Show unloads with the stick and chokeslams Dreamer. Show’s eyes are busted open from the steps but he’s fine enough to hit a big cane shot to pin Dreamer.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work so well as while it was mainly about the sticks, those things kind of lose their impact rather quickly. Show was the monster in there and it makes sense that he wins, though they didn’t quite hide what was likely to happen from the start. Not an all time bad match or anything close, but more just a bad concept.

Vince McMahon promises to give away money on Raw. And no, WWE employees like interviewer Tod Grisham, are not eligible. Ron Simmons comes in to voice his displeasure.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

First Blood. Cena wastes no time in pulling off a turnbuckle (revealing a large yellow pad) and then knocks JBL outside. JBL goes face first into the announcers’ table but, after a trip back inside, manages to low bridge him back outside. Some right hands have Cena in more trouble and a big boot makes it even worse. It’s already time for the chair but the big swing only hits post.

A microphone to the head drops Cena again and they head back inside for more mic shots. Cena is right back up with the comeback sequence (seems rather early) but JBL isn’t about to get FU’ed this soon. There’s a posting and Cena is down hard but not bleeding. A DDT onto the steps is broken up and now it’s Cena with the mic to the head.

Back in and JBL kicks him rather low and a ram into the exposed buckle makes it worse. With that not working, JBL gets in a hard shot to the ribs and grabs a chain, only to walk into an FU. JBL is able to hit a big boot and Cena gets tied up in the ropes (uh oh). That means it’s time for a bullwhip but Cena gets free and chains him down. The STFU with the whip goes on and JBL is bleeding from the mouth so the referee calls it.

Rating: B-. They had a few creative spots in there but the ending left a good bit to be desired. I can go for the idea of bleeding from the mouth for a different way to go, though that doesn’t make it all the more interesting. Also, you would think this was a way for JBL to win without Cena taking a fall but instead it’s Cena getting him again. Oh well.

Randy Orton comes in to see Batista and pitches a reuniting if they’re drafted to the same show. Batista doesn’t say a word.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

I Quit and they’ve hated each other for a while now. One of Melina’s photographers falls down on the way to the ring for a funny blooper. Beth trash talks her to the ropes to start but Melina snatches a guillotine of all things. That’s broken up with a backbreaker and Beth bends her over the knee for a bonus. What looked to be a slam off the top is reversed into a faceplant from Melina, who grabs a Muta Lock. Beth breaks that up as well and then drives her hard into the corner.

The over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in more trouble before Beth switches off to an armbar. Melina is able to kick her into the post though and the rather logical Fujiwara armbar goes on. Make that a cross armbreaker but Beth powers up into a toss powerbomb. A wheelbarrow faceplant sets up a double chickenwing on Melina, whose legs are bent up against Beth’s as well. Beth switches into a neck crank, making Melina’s head touch the bottoms of her feet and that’s finally enough for the submission.

Rating: C+. That ending alone was enough to make this worth a look as no one is supposed to bend that way. It looked like Beth was about to break her and that is the kind of painful ending you want in a match like this. Beth almost has to be getting ready to go after the title again, as she is such a force over the other women that it is hard to not head in that direction again.

Mickie James comes to see John Cena in the trainer’s room but Mike Adamle comes out of the bathroom. He invites them to Tijuana with them but that’s a no, as is their status as a couple. Instead, Cena talks to Mickie about a rear naked choke.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn beat him before but faked a knee injury to do so, which hasn’t set well with Batista. Tonight, it’s a stretcher match for revenge.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Stretcher match. Shawn’s charges don’t work to start and Batista drops him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but he manages to send Batista into the steps. A stretcher shot to the ribs puts Batista down and Shawn does it again for a bonus. Batista is back up with a Batista Bomb attempt but Shawn reverses into a guillotine choke. The partially out Batista is put on the stretcher but it’s way too early to go anywhere.

Shawn gets rammed into the apron and then the barricade, followed by one heck of a clothesline. The big running powerslam looks to set up the spear but it only hits the post. Shawn’s forearm into the nipup into the top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is blocks. The Batista Bomb is escaped as well and there’s the superkick to put Batista on the stretcher (in a nice crash).

Batista gets back off of it though, meaning Shawn gets to spear him with the stretcher again. With the power not working, Batista goes with the smarts and see-saws the stretcher into Shawn’s face for a creative spot. Back in and the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb puts Shawn down again but here is Chris Jericho….to cheer Shawn?

Back in and Batista says he’s sorry but loves Shawn, setting up another Batista Bomb. Shawn is wheeled up to the finish line, only to have Jericho stop him for another pep talk. It’s enough to get Shawn off the stretcher (ok by falling but off), so Batista goes and gets the steps. The spinebuster onto the steps is enough for Batista to get the win.

Rating: B. Commentary made a good point by saying that Batista wanted to hurt Shawn rather than beat him, and that is exactly how this went. Batista destroyed Shawn in the end here and of course Shawn knows EXACTLY how to sell that. It was a heck of a beating near the end, though Shawn was putting in a rather awesome fight until they got there. Jericho’s part will probably be brought up later, but here it was just a little weird. Either way, best match of the night so far here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is about Orton wanting to get the title back after losing a few times. Orton beat him to win the title in a Last Man Standing match last year so let’s do it again here.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. After a weapons check (Why?), we’re ready to go, with Orton sending him outside to start. HHH gets in a whip to the steps and it’s time to go into the announcers’ table. Back in and HHH rips at Orton’s face before sending him shoulder first into the post (been done too much tonight).

Orton’s shoulder is fine enough to hit a dropkick though and they head outside. HHH hammers away on the announcers’ table but Orton slugs his way out of a Pedigree attempt. The DDT onto the floor has HHH down for about eight so Orton hammers away at the head. The frustrated Orton peels the floor mat back but the RKO is blocked.

Instead Orton grabs the steps and blasts HHH in the face for a nine. Now it’s time for some choking with an electrical cord before the RKO is loaded up. HHH shoves him over the top this time and Orton lands HARD on his shoulder. Orton can be heard saying he’s broken his collarbone but he gets up anyway, allowing HHH to hit a quick sledgehammer shot to retain.

Rating: B-. Well you can only rate this one so well as the injury derailed everything they were doing. Orton was seriously hurt so there wasn’t much of a choice but to wrap it up. What we got before that was pretty good as these two can occasionally work well together, but as usual, it wasn’t exactly some classic. We won’t be seeing Orton for a good while though as that was a horrible landing.

Orton gets up and oh yeah that thing is HORRIBLE looking. Orton walks around for a bit to yell at fans and we get some replays, likely to try and kill off a few minutes.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, with Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match for the vacant title. They’ve fought for the title for months but Edge can’t beat him. Instead Edge’s girlfriend/Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero has been helping, including this time as she is giving Edge his signature match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

For the vacant title in a TLC match and if Undertaker loses, he’s gone. Undertaker hammers away to start and hits a rather early Old School . Edge is able to send him outside though and some tables are stacked up. As usual that takes too long though and Undertaker fights back. There are now four tables stacked up 2×2 and the first ladder is set up. Undertaker would rather put it on the corner though, where Edge sends him face first into the steel.

Edge gets sent into the corner as well, allowing Undertaker to climb. They fight on the ladder but then knock each other onto a ladder in the corner. It’s Undertaker getting the better of things and kicking Edge in the face, setting up the apron legdrop, which hits raised chair. Edge bridges the ladder between the ring and the apron, which cannot end well. A chair to the head drops Undertaker and then Edge does it again for a bonus.

With Undertaker on a table, Edge dives off the announcers’ table to crush him again. Back in and Edge cuts him down with a spear, followed by Undertaker’s leg being crushed in the ladder. Two more chair shots to the head keep Undertaker down but getting another chair for some reason lets him get up.

Undertaker throws him through a ladder and to the floor, but cue the Edgeheads for the save. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker fights up again and puts them through a table each. Edge is back up again now and sends Undertaker’s knee into the barricade. With Edge climbing, Undertaker Last Rides him off the ladder and through two tables for a huge crash.

Now it’s Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero coming in for another save so Undertaker chairs both of them down. Undertaker goes up again but this time Edge shoves it over, with Undertaker crashing through four tables at ringside (geez that’s a huge bump or him, or anyone for that matter). That’s finally enough for Edge to win the title.

Rating: B. It’s quite the spectacle, with Edge pulling out every cheating tactic he had available (which granted in a match like this means “send in the goons”) and Undertaker doing a bunch of bigger than usual spots. Other than that, it was time for Edge to get the title back, or at least beat Undertaker, as Undertaker had beaten him over and over. Now Undertaker can go away for a bit and come back looking for revenge, which is often what he does best. Good main event, but not a classic.

Vickie Guerrero walks out and celebrates with La Familia. Undertaker gets up and does the big slow exit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a strange show in that the matches were mostly good, but they weren’t that interesting. The problem here comes down to the fact that we’ve covered almost every facet of most of these feuds and it’s time for something new. That’s the biggest problem with WWE at the moment, as the build for the last few weeks has only been so good and now it is time to move on to something else. Good show, but this really needs to be the turning point to a new set of stories.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 26, 2008: Pay The People Their Money?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2008
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 16,524
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before One Night Stand and the end of last week’s show set up a pair of huge matches for the show. Now we are getting ready for JBL vs. John Cena in a first blood match and HHH vs. Randy Orton in a last man standing match for HHH’s Raw World Title. I’m sure we’ll get some more tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon joins us on the Titantron to say William Regal got what he deserved last week, but are the fans getting what they deserve? They deserve appreciation, and tonight they will receive it like never before. He’s open to suggestions, including from the wrestlers. By the end of the night, fans will receive appreciation like they have never seen.

Here are HHH and Randy Orton for a face to face standoff. Orton is asked about how he beat HHH in a last man standing match before, but it was HHH’s third match of the night and Orton’s second. Orton is sick of having his accomplishments downplayed, because what matters is that he beat HHH in this very match.

HHH says the fans are laughing at Orton because he’s a censored. He isn’t laughing though, because Orton has a tendency to find a cheap way out. If Orton wants to be the best, he has to face the best over and over. Orton says HHH doesn’t thrive on competition because he either brings in his threats or just flat out eliminates him.

Like Shawn Michaels or Evolution, because HHH knows he needed to fear them. HHH says Evolution was about making Orton realize his potential but he isn’t just going to walk away. Orton promises to win and goes to leave, but HHH promises to end the Age Of Orton like it never happened. There wasn’t much left to be said about this feud so this was nothing we haven’t heard before.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is on commentary. Jillian jumps her to start and hits a flipping faceplant before hitting some kicks to the back. Melina fights back and elbows her in the face, setting up an Indian Deathlock for the fast tap.

Chris Jericho comes in to see Vince McMahon with an idea to appreciate the fans: a match with Shawn Michaels tonight. Deal, and we’ll make it non-title. Cryme Tyme comes in and steal some of Williams Regal’s stuff to sell.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Rhodes dropkicks London down to start but a double dropkick puts Rhodes down for two. Holly comes in to knock Kendrick down but Rhodes misses a middle rope crossbody. It’s off to London to dropkick and hurricanrana Holly as everything breaks down. London tries to skin the cat, only to get caught in the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. Fast paced stuff here but they only had so much time to make it work. London and Kendrick are still an entertaining team but for some reason WWE insists on sticking with Rhodes and Holly as champions. The tag division barely exists, though you would think WWE might want to go with the better of the two teams here.

Post match here is Ted DiBiase of all people. He has a special moment for us, in the form of the newest member of the Raw roster: his son Ted DiBiase! Ted Jr. says he has always wanted to become a champion and that is what he is going to do in his debut match. So Holly and Rhodes need to pay attention, because everybody has a price, but he is priceless. That’s a great line.

Roddy Piper is training Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal for his match against Santino Marella. Kimmel comes in to watch the training and isn’t sure if this is going well as Piper beats up Sal. Oddly enough this is included on Peacock, along with a recap of last week’s segment, which wasn’t on Peacock.

Mickie James suggests a contest to Vince McMahon where schools get to say why they love WWE and the winner gets a Diva For A Day. JBL comes in to say that sounds like an escort service (working for strangers you see) and suggests the ring mat, covered in John Cena’s blood on Sunday, be cut up and sold.

Some soldiers wish us Happy Memorial Day.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Umaga vs. John Cena/Jeff Hardy

Cena and JBL start things off but let’s go with Umaga instead. The FU attempt doesn’t work but Umaga misses a charge in the corner so Cena can slug away. The swinging release Rock Bottom cuts Cena off though and we take a break. Back with JBL hammering Hardy into the corner and whipping him into another one.

The abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy slips out and hits a Whisper In The Wind. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Cena and house is cleaned in a hurry. Umaga knocks Cena into Hardy for the tag but the Swanton misses. With Cena and Umaga on the floor, the Clothesline From JBL finishes Hardy off.

Rating: C+. The ending came a bit out of nowhere but it was a good enough match to get the people involved out there. Umaga vs. Hardy has been a bit forgotten amid the two main event level matches at One Night Stand so giving them a bit of exposure was a good idea. Then again JBL vs. Cena isn’t exactly thrilling and it’s more interesting to go in another direction, even for one match.

Shawn Michaels comes to see Vince McMahon and doesn’t buy Vince wanting to appreciate the audience. Vince says Shawn will have to give the devil his due. Shawn: “You would know about that wouldn’t you?”

Video on the recent tour of Mexico.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Carlito takes him down fast and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. The Backstabber is loaded up but Kennedy reverses into the Mic Check for the fast win.

Post match Katie Lea Burchill comes out to say some people aren’t happy with Kennedy getting rid of William Regal. Paul Burchill pops up from behind and lays Kennedy out.

Trevor Murdoch tries to sing a country version of No Chance but Vince McMahon sends him away.

One Night Stand rundown.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

More troops say hi.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They go to the mat a few times to start and that’s good for a standoff. Shawn sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Jericho takes him into the corner for some stomping. Jericho’s bulldog is blocked with a shove into the corner and there’s the nipup.

The superkick is countered into a Walls attempt, which is countered into a small package for two. The second Walls attempt works far better but Shawn makes the ropes. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him tot he floor and grabs the Walls again for the double countout.

Rating: B-. Jericho vs. Shawn is going to work almost every time but Jericho is teetering on the brink of a heel turn. I’m curious to see how they get to what should be Jericho as quite the villain, as they could go a few different ways to get there. I’m not sure how much we’ll get out of the Shawn vs. Batista match to get there, but they have an interesting story on the way there.

Post match Jericho grabs a chair but puts it down.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big announcement despite there not being much time left. Vince walks through the roster on the stage before talking about how everyone together. Let’s do that in four weeks with the WWE Draft. Until then, for the next four weeks, Vince is going to give away MONEY. What if he gave away a thousand dollars? Ten thousand dollars? Or even A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS? Heck he’s a billionaire, so over the next week, he’s going to give away the sum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS. End of show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a nice job of covering just about everything on this side of the One Night Stand card and that is the right idea. Other than that, the money thing at the end was more than a bit different, but at least they’re trying to set something up for after the pay per view. WWE certainly needs something fresh at the moment as they continue to milk another pay per view out of feuds they’ve been running for a long time. Not a bad show, but the build to Summerslam needs to start fast.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 19, 2008: The Efficient Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2008
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 9,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Judgment Day and the big Raw story coming out of the show was Shawn Michaels defeating Chris Jericho in a rather good match that didn’t seem to wrap up their story. Other than that, HHH successfully defended the World Title against Randy Orton in a feud that will likely never be over. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga is ticked off after last week and hammers away, only to miss a sitdown splash and get dropkicked in the face. The Samoan drop cuts Hardy off fast though and we’re already into the nerve hold. With that not working, Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe for the running headbutt, only to miss a middle rope version. The Whisper in the Wind missed as well, but Umaga misses the running hip attack. Jeff knocks him outside in a big crash and follows with the slingshot flip dive. The fight keeps going on the floor, including the swinging release Rock Bottom to Hardy, and that’s a double countout.

Rating: C+. This was short and designed to set up a third match but it worked while it lasted. Hardy works well when he is bouncing off of someone and Umaga knows how to do that style incredibly well. What matters here is they kept things interesting, which is exactly what you want to do when you’re trying to set up a rematch, likely at One Night Stand.

Post match Jeff has to be checked on.

Batista tells Chris Jericho to stay out of his way to get to Shawn Michaels, but Jericho isn’t stepping aside. Threats are made before their match tonight.

Here is General Manager to make Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal in a falls count anywhere match. Regal brings Randy Orton and JBL up on the Titantron and tells them they have a tag match against HHH and John Cena tonight. If Orton and JBL win, they get their respective rematches against HHH and Cena and get to pick the stipulations. If Cena and HHH win, they will face each other in an extreme rules match of Regal’s choosing.

Cue Mr. Kennedy to interrupt to offer a challenge for tonight. Regal says he’s above Kennedy and the next person to interrupt him will be fired on the spot. Cue Vince McMahon, with Kennedy mocking Regal about his promise. Vince says that since Regal has taken over, there have been ALL KINDS OF COMPLAINTS and he only cares about the money. Regal is a ratings killer but Vince wants Kennedy gone too. So tonight it’s Regal vs. Kennedy, loser is fired. Well that’s abrupt.

Maria vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina joins commentary and does the splits entrance on the announcers’ table. Maria gets quite the pop as Melina says she isn’t the kind of girl to do Playboy. Beth wastes no time with a gorilla press to start and then bends Maria’s back over her knee. A quick bulldog out of the corner gives Maria two but the Glam Slam (I believe making its debut) into a seated double chickenwing gives Beth the win.

Post match Melina jumps Beth and gets dropped on the ramp for her efforts.

Roddy Piper was at a birthday party for Jimmy Kimmel Live when Santino Marella showed up. A fight with Jimmy’s cousin Sal broke out. This is edited off the Peacock version.

Mickie James is in the back with Katie Lea Burchill, with the latter saying she’ll be Women’s Champion soon. She also accuses Mickie of sleeping with John Cena to get to the top but Mickie denies anything happening. Burchill says more would have happened with her.

Shawn Michaels comes in to see William Regal, who tells him that Shawn is facing the winner of Batista vs. Chris Jericho in a stretcher match.

WWE won an award for how they praise the military.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho gets powered out of the corner to start as the fans are way behind Batista here. Batista shoves him out of the corner again and hits him in the face, setting up an elbow for two. Hold on though as Jericho grabs his knee and we take a break with Batista not buying it.

We come back with a limping Jericho being whipped into the corner but managing to low bridge Batista to the floor. This time it’s Batista grabbing his own knee and Jericho is fine with going after that as well. Lawler points out how fast Jericho’s knee healed as Jericho cranks on Batista’s knee. Batista is fine enough to kick Jericho outside and then boot him in the face back inside.

The spinebuster connects but Jericho goes after the leg to break up the Batista Bomb attempt. A half crab goes on (that’s a clever twist on the normal Walls) until Batista makes the rope. The leg is fine enough to avoid the Lionsault and a big clothesline drops Jericho again. The charge goes into the post but Batista pulls Jericho off the ropes and into the Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not exactly a great match here but it turned into a good showdown. The leg injuries were a nice way to tie into everything else they have been doing in recent weeks and they made you wonder what was going on. Batista’s seemed to be legitimate but he was able to catch Jericho trying to be too aggressive. Batista vs. Shawn again should work, and you know Jericho is going to be waiting on the other side.

Post match Shawn Michaels comes out to stare Batista down.

Vince McMahon talks to William Regal about the match with Mr. Kennedy tonight. Ted DiBiase of all people comes in and they need to have a money talk.

It’s time for the return of Piper’s Pit but instead we have Santino Marella dressed as Roddy Piper with a very large fake stomach. As Santino stands next to a birthday cake, he messes up some Piper catchphrases and we see a clip of the Jimmy Kimmel segment from earlier. The real Cousin Sal comes out and Santino mocks Piper for not being able to do anything.

Sal goes off about how Santino can’t accomplish anything, including winning a title, beating up Steve Austin or sleeping with a Playboy Playmate, as apparently…something like being built similar to a fourth grader. Santino picks up the cake but the real Roddy Piper comes in to shove it into Santino’s face. Santino vs. Sal is set up as this feud just keeps going. This is also edited off the Peacock version.

William Regal vs. Mr. Kennedy

Loser gets fired and Kennedy promises to win. Kennedy slugs out of the corner to start and a backdrop gets a very early two. A running kick to the head rocks Regal but he sweeps the leg and takes Kennedy down on the apron. Back in and Regal unloads in the corner before grabbing something close to a Tazmission.

Regal charges into a boot in the corner though and Kennedy’s spinning kick to the head gets two. They go outside, where Regal decides that this is going to be a No DQ match. The brass knuckles are loaded up and Regal sends him into the steps. Back in and the knuckles shot is countered into the Mic Check to give Kennedy the fast pin.

Rating: C+. And that is how WWE dealt with Regal getting Wellnessed again. Regal was on a tear with the power mad General Manager/King deal and then screwed himself over by breaking the rules. The match itself was an energetic fight and having Regal screw himself over by trying to cheat once too often was some nice poetic justice.

Post break Regal tries to go into his office but Teddy Long walks out.

HHH doesn’t are who he faces at One Night Stand.

Randy Orton/JBL vs. HHH/John Cena

If Orton and JBL win, they get their rematches at One Night Stand and pick the stipulations. If HHH and Cena win, they face each other at One Night Stand in a match of….well Regal is fired so there’s a snafu in the plan. Cena and HHH clear the ring rather quickly to start and we take an early break.

Back with HHH in trouble but Orton misses a dropkick. The tag brings in Cena to pick up the pace, including the Shuffle to Orton. The RKO and FU are both countered and JBL kicks Cena in the face for two. Cena knocks Orton outside though and the hot tag brings in HHH. Everything breaks down and the STFU has JBL in trouble but Orton breaks it up with the Punt to give JBL the pin.

Rating: C+. This was another match where they didn’t have a ton of time to get stuff going but it did what it needed to do. The feuds are already set up so getting to the point of a big violent match between the pairings work. Granted they kind of telegraphed the ending with Regal being fired but at least they did what they should have done.

Post match JBL picks a first blood match with Cena while Orton picks last man standing with HHH.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the “ok we need to get the pay per view ready” show and it worked well enough. One Night Stand is the attempt to keep the stories going with some added stipulations and that should be fine. The build to Summerslam can start after that but giving us something this simplistic should work. Not a great show, but an efficient one and that is important too.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 12, 2008: Power Couple?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 12, 2008
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Judgment Day and the title match is set. Unfortunately it hasn’t been the most well built match in the world, as it’s HHH vs. Randy Orton in a cage, which is only so interesting. Other than that, John vs. JBL and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho are going to beef up the card well enough, with the final push coming tonight. Oh and General Manage William Regal is insane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of HHH and Mr. Kennedy losing to ECW last week, followed by Randy Orton taking HHH out.

Lilian Garcia is in the ring with William Regal, who has her sing God Save The Queen. Regal reminds the fans that he can have everyone thrown out and goes to the floor, where he has two fans ejected. Mickie James comes out to beg Regal to rethink what he did (possibly saying it was her brother and his girlfriend), so Regal threatens to strip her of the Women’s Title.

Cue John Cena to interrupt, with James leaving rather quickly. Cena tries to get Regal to calm down, but Regal says Vince McMahon put him in this spot. Cena: “Vince McMahon is insane.” We hear some emails from fans, complaining about Regal’s recent actions. Cena: “This is WCW Thunder bad.” One fan wants to start a FIRE REGAL chant (yes he included the claps) so there go the live fans.

Regal promises to not cut the lights off tonight and knows that Cena wants revenge on Randy Orton, so they can be in the main event. Cena wants to know when JBL will interfere, but Regal bans interference (how this is different than any other match isn’t clear). Regal hopes he has gotten some respect from Cena, but Cena says that was just making a good match. Also, Regal needs to learn that this is the United States of America, so he has Garcia sing Respect. Garcia sings the heck out of it but doesn’t get much of a reaction until the ending.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Holly and Rhodes are defending and Roddy Piper is sitting at ringside. Holly runs Santino over to start and hangs him over the ropes for the kick to the questionable area (Piper approves). It’s off to Carlito for a cheap shot to take over and Santino gets to drop some elbows. A suplex gets Holly out of trouble though and it’s Cody coming in to hammer away. Cody hits a crossbody and powerslam but Santino pops back up. Piper offers a distraction though and it’s a DDT to retain the titles. Short and to the point here, now PLEASE FIND SOME NEW CHALLENGERS.

We look back at Shawn Michaels hurting his knee at Backlash, with commentary not sure if he is telling the truth or not.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Snitsky

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. An elbow gives Snitsky two and we’re already in a bearhug. Kennedy slugs his way to freedom but gets shouldered right back down. Back up and Kennedy gets smart by starting in on the leg, with a chop block getting two. Kennedy has to slip out of a pumphandle and its’ the Mic Check for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s almost weird to see Kennedy getting a win like this but it did give him a bit of momentum on his way to…whatever it is he has going on at the moment. Kennedy is someone who could be a star if he actually gets a maintained push and beating Snitsky is a tiny start. Snitsky continues to play his role perfectly: a giant with some power who can look intimidating and lose almost every time without much trouble.

Santino Marella is mad about Roddy Piper costing him a title because this isn’t the 80s anymore. Vengeance is sworn.

Mickie James thanks John Cena for the save earlier….and invites him out for drinks with her brother and his girlfriend. Cena mocks being too serious to do that and says he’d love to go, but it could be a wild night. Mickie can go for wild and things get a bit awkward but they’re cool.

Melina/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria/Mickie James

Mickie kicks Melina up to the ropes to start but Melina reverses, only to knock off the apron by mistake. Mickie gets taken into the corner…as Beth walks out. A neckbreaker gives Mickie the fast pin.

Here is Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho shows us the clip of Shawn Michaels injuring his knee at Backlash and talks about a fan poll with 72% of the fans giving Shawn the benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t buy it though and we see Shawn throwing a superkick in their tag match last week. That superkick made him change his mind and now he’s willing to call off their match at Judgment Day.

Cue Shawn to make a confession: yeah he faked the knee injury. Jericho doesn’t buy it because he isn’t falling for these mind games. Shawn tries to say it’s true but Jericho doesn’t believe him…..so there’s a superkick. Shawn: “Trust me when I tell you: I’m not hurt.” He flips out of the ring and walks off just fine. So there’s a twist.

We get a surprise as Jeff Hardy returns from a suspension. He didn’t want to go but he made a mistake and had to pay for it. Hardy wants the Intercontinental Title back but gets cut off by William Regal. No one wants to hear from Hardy, who deserves punishment. Like a match with this man.

Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

Umaga runs him over to start and hits the middle rope headbutt. The hip attack misses in the corner though and Hardy hits the Twist of Fate for the pin out of nowhere.

Video on John Cena vs. JBL.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme

Murdoch runs JTG into the corner to start but JTG does the same to him, allowing the tag off to Shad. Some hard shots allow JTG to get two off a sunset flip but Cade comes in to kick JTG in the face. Murdoch comes back in and sits down on another sunset flip attempt to pin JTG in another fast match.

Post match Cade is happy with the victory and thinks Murdoch’s singing made it work. Murdoch gets to sing the victory song, which is The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. Then Cade punches him in the face and walks off.

Smackdown Rebound.

Melina asks Beth Phoenix what was up with walking out on her earlier. Beth blames Melina for the title loss last week….and then slams her into a locker over and over to leave Melina laying.

Judgment Day rundown.

Randy Orton talks about how he beat John Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania so he’ll do it again tonight and at Judgment Day.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

Orton goes with a headlock to start but Cena is right back out with some right hands. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two but Orton’s backbreaker gets the same. Orton’s stomp to the head is blocked though and Cena shoves him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Orton losing control of a chinlock but snapping off a powerslam for two.

The chinlock goes back on but Cena fights up again. The RKO is blocked though and the top rope Fameasser connects. Hold on though as here are William Regal….and JBL, who is now guest referee because Mike Chioda is incompetent. Cena knocks JBL off the apron and tries the AA on Orton. JBL is back in with a big boot and a very fast count gives Orton the pin.

Rating: C+. Just like the main event of last week’s Smackdown, you could probably count down the time until the evil boss did something evil. You knew Regal wasn’t going to let Cena have a clean match with Orton here and it was all about how JBL was going to interfere. Cena and Orton work well enough together and they didn’t have time to overstay their welcomes here.

Post match the big brawl is on with HHH coming in. The double brawls are on, with the John’s fighting into the crowd. The cage (hey there’s a cage) is lowered and HHH knocks Orton to the floor, leaving Orton panicking to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was one of those odd shows where pretty much everything was set up for the pay per view so this was all about keeping things settled. Other than Shawn admitting he was faking the injury, there wasn’t a ton of new stuff on here. Well save for Cena and James possibly becoming a thing, which is probably going to be something for later anyway. Not an awful show, but not one you need to see either.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2008: Lights Out (Again)

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2008
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,664
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from Judgment Day and we have a bit of a crazy boss. Last week saw General Manager William Regal crowned as King, though the power seems to have already gone to his head as he cut the show off so fans who booed him couldn’t see the ending. Mr. Kennedy isn’t happy and it might be time to deal with things. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of William Regal going all scooters last week.

Here is Vince McMahon to say Regal pulled the plug in the end of a title match. This has led to a variety of protests from the fans, with many of them demanding that Vince appear tonight. However, McMahon finds Regal’s actions to be visionary, so Regal reminds Vince of himself! He is all for Regal’s actions and no punishment is coming.

Here is Regal for a chat. Regal doesn’t like the fans disrespecting him again here….so turn out the lights again. He has the lights turned back on but says he won’t be disrespected. Cue Mr. Kennedy to interrupt, saying all Regal has to do is agree to face him. Instead, Regal puts him in the main event against…..the entire ECW roster (or about six members). This is part of a deal with Armando Alejandro Estrada to promote tomorrow’s 100th ECW, but here is HHH to interrupt.

Just like Mr. Kennedy Kennedy here, HHH means no disrespect and tells Regal to not make mistakes. Last week, Regal cutting the lights off during HHH’s match and disrespecting him would be mistakes. HHH says Regal doesn’t want a war with him, but Regal says HHH already has to defend the title against Randy Orton in a cage at Judgment Day. As for tonight, HHH can join Mr. Kennedy in the main event against ECW. Regal is absolutely nailing it here and Kennedy is feeling like quite the rebel.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James is defending in a lumberjack match. Beth easily powers her around to start and gets two off a running shoulder. With James on the floor, the evil lumberjacks get in their required cheap shots but James is right back with a neckbreaker. The lumberjacks get into their big fight (at least they didn’t waste time here) and we take an early break. Back with Beth cranking on both arms until Mickie fights up and dropkicks her way to freedom. The top rope Thesz press gets two and Beth is sent outside for a beating. In the melee, Melina goes for Mickie but hits Beth by mistake, allowing Mickie to grab a small package to retain.

Rating: C. This was all about the insanity going on around the ring while Mickie and Beth were just kind of in the middle. There are a lot of women in the division but there aren’t many who are ready to go after the title. That is going to have to change, but for now it’s likely going to be Mickie/Beth/Melina.

Chris Jericho comes up to see William Regal, who asks about Shawn Michaels’ knee. Jericho is sure that Shawn is faking, which doesn’t go well for him because tonight it’s Jericho/Shawn vs. Miz/John Morrison.

Trevor Murdoch is singing when Trish Stratus comes in to look confused. Ron Simmons shows up for his cameo line.

Randy Orton doesn’t agree with the idea that HHH had him beaten last week but that’s not the point. As for tonight, he has CM Punk, who might cash in Money In The Bank on him when Orton gets the title back in two weeks.

Katie Lea Burchill/Paul Burchill vs. John Cutler

Hold on though as William Regal pops up to say Jim Ross isn’t going to call this match. Instead, here is Mike Adamle to take the spot, leaving Ross looking rather annoyed. Paul chops him up against the ropes as Katie seems rather pleased. A knee drop lets Katie stomp away and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Cutler tries to roll Katie up, earning a stomping from Paul. The top rope double stomp from Katie sets up the single version from Paul, giving Katie the pin.

Rating: D+. There’s something to be said about Katie being the focal point here as she has the charisma to get noticed, but I’m not sure where this is going to go. The bigger focus being on the commentary didn’t help either, but the Burchills are at least different. Paul still has the intensity to make something like this work, though it hasn’t exactly gotten there yet.

Chris Jericho comes up to Shawn Michaels in the back. Shawn says he’s really hurt but he’ll do his best, as always. Jericho doesn’t seem to buy it.

Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title, JR is back on commentary and Shawn is badly limping on the way to the ring. Jericho and Miz start things off with Jericho hitting a quick suplex. Morrison comes in to kick away in the corner, setting up the springboard spinning kick to the face. It’s right back to Miz, who is quickly pulled into the Walls. Morrison makes the save so Shawn comes in with Sweet Chin Music, leaving him writhing in pain. A quick Lionsault gives Jericho the pin.

Rating: C. This was more storyline advancement than anything else as Michaels is either telling the truth or milking the heck out of faking the injury. It’s an interesting story as it could go either way, which is something you don’t get very often. If nothing else, Jericho being all smug and knowing that Shawn is faking it is making for good TV. Now just stop pinning the champs and it’s that much better.

Shawn needs help getting to the back and Jericho is confused.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Orton starts fast by sending him to the apron and then down to the floor in a crash. Back in and Orton starts the circle stomp but misses the knee drop. Punk kicks away but misses a springboard spinning crossbody. Back up and Punk kicks away, setting up the knee into the corner and the bulldog right back out of it. Cue William Regal though and let’s turn out the lights because this match is over.

Rating: C. Well that’s certainly a different way to go and this Regal stuff is getting more interesting. It’s not often that you see someone actually shaking things up like this and it’s making things feel different. Sometimes that is the way you need tog o and making Orton mad is going to be an upgrade as well. The match was energetic while it lasted but it didn’t exactly have time to go anywhere before the storyline ending.

Post break Orton is livid and goes to find Regal for some answers.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana. We look at Roddy Piper making a surprise appearance last week and slapping Santino Marella in the face. Therefore, here is Piper as this week’s guest. Carlito says he gets that Santino can be annoying but Piper took it too far. Piper: “Listen Buckwheat.”

We hear about Piper taking it too far every time, including when he beat cancer. He’s not going to apologize for anything, including not wanting to sit and talk about what he did. Carlito says he would have slapped Piper back but Piper says Carlito should be glad that Piper didn’t bring a seagull to make a next in Carlito’s hair.

Cue Santino Marella to mock Piper for taking so long to become Intercontinental Champion. Piper brings up Santino’s recent DUI, but here is Cody Rhodes to interrupt. Now it’s Cryme Tyme (Piper: “HOLY COW!”) and the villains (oddly enough not including Piper) bail. The good guys dance. This was there to get Piper on the show and for the dancing at the end, but the seemingly endless Carlito/Marella Tag Team Title chase is dragging things down.

Post break Cryme Tyme is still in the ring and thinks they have a lot of stuff to sell around here. They have a hammock and coconuts! Selling ensues and a lot of money changes hands (with a fan getting the hammock).

Judgment Day rundown.

JBL is standing next to his limo and offers to share his lifestyle. We go inside the limo for a ride into the arena, with JBL talking about all of the features in the limo (full bar, high speed internet). This was a very JBL thing to do and it worked.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. DH Smith

Before the match, JBL talks about Smith’s father but says the British Bulldog can’t help him. The beating is on fast and the Clothesline From JBL finishes in about a minute.

Post match the big beating is on until referees break it up.

William Regal tells the ECW roster to get it together tonight because they have a big mission. The team goes to the ring, with Kane glaring at Regal as he leaves.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH/Mr. Kennedy vs. ECW Roster

One fall to a finish. Kennedy and Elijah Burke start things off with Kennedy grabbing a front facelock and handing it off to HHH. The jumping knee drops Matt Striker so it’s quickly off to Mike Knox. The villains (mostly at least) take over on HHH, who shrugs it off and brings Kennedy back in. Tommy Dreamer grabs a snap suplex and brings in Kofi Kingston, only to have Shelton Benjamin tag himself in. The distraction lets HHH come back in and everything breaks down. Kane chokeslams Kennedy but Bam Neeley jumps Kane, allowing Chavo Guerrero to hit a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. These things are always weird as there is only so much you can do with two vs. more than a dozen wrestlers. ECW was more or less rotating wrestlers in and out and the real focus here was on the visual of having that many people out there. I’m not sure how much of a punishment it was, but at least it wasn’t the same stuff we see every week.

Post match the big brawl is on with HHH cleaning house but the lights go out. They come back up and it’s Randy Orton with an RKO to HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Regal stuff is interesting and that is what the show needed given how weak the wrestling was this week. There is only so much you can get out of a bunch of weak matches and a kind of strange Roddy Piper segment and this show proved it. Hopefully this was just a one off weak show, as there are pieces, like Jericho vs. Shawn, there that could help carry the weak portions.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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