Smackdown Date: July 7, 2016
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
This is a fresh start for a change as Monday was a completely worthless show thanks to the Fourth of July. We’re getting closer to Battleground but more importantly we’re less than two weeks away from the Draft which resets everything anyway. In other words there’s no way of knowing how good this will be so let’s get to it.
The Club is conferencing.
Chris Jericho is trying to find his blue scarf.
Sami Zayn is ready to beat Jericho tonight and make him second best.
Seth Rollins arrives and runs into Jey Uso. Some Samoan family insults are made and a match gets the same treatment. I could go for these quick vignettes becoming a regular thing. It worked for Saturday Night’s Main Event and it works here too.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Dean Ambrose to say he wants to try his hand as a ring announcer because he could be a taller Howard Finkel.
Jey Uso vs. Seth Rollins
Seth is apparently from a place where he didn’t get enough hugs as a child. That’s sad. Jey takes over with an early armbar as the fans (or at least the canned versions) are behind the Samoan. Seth gets two off a backbreaker as Dean plugs his new t-shirt and the Seth Rollins ice cream bars but apparently they don’t taste very good. A high crossbody gets two on Rollins and there’s a suicide dive to take Rollins out again. Dean says that’s five minutes (not quite) and asks Seth if it’s time to go to a commercial.
Back with Seth hitting his running knee off the apron and throwing on a chinlock. Seth goes to the middle rope but Dean makes an announcement that a 1997 Ford is about to be towed for being in the fire lane. This one doesn’t work as well as Seth scores with an enziguri, only to run into a Samoan Drop. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and the Pedigree puts Jey away at 10:25.
Rating: C. Dean was amusing enough here and it’s better than just having him do guest commentary for the tenth time Rollins has a match. It’s also a good sign that the Usos can work as singles wrestlers and do well enough as so many teams can’t do anything without their partner around.
Dean: “The winner of the match, the human equivalent of a root canal.” Seth bails at the threat of a fight so Ambrose can’t raise his hand. Dean: “I’ll just raise this instead.” And he holds up the title.
We look back at Sami and Kevin Owens beating Jericho up two weeks ago.
Zack Ryder vs. Sheamus
Ryder has a new rock version of his music and it’s actually working for me. Sheamus pounds him down with forearms and clotheslines to start, followed by the forearms to the chest. A slam onto the apron makes things even worse but Ryder kicks him in the face and comes back with more forearms. That just earns him an Irish Curse before Sheamus loads up a superplex. Ryder knocks him off and drops the Elbro for the completely clean pin at 2:43. I know Sheamus isn’t what he used to be but this is a big drop off. At least Ryder is getting a push though and that’s a good thing.
Ryder wants to get his US Title back and issues the challenge to Rusev.
Baron Corbin video.
Rusev accepts the challenge.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
No match as Natalya jumps Becky from behind and puts her in the Sharpshooter. Naturally she tells Becky to tap, which always makes me chuckle.
We recap the Wyatt Family and New Day from Monday.
Xavier Woods is worried about going to the Wyatt Compound because they have no idea what’s going to happen there. Woods isn’t happy with what his brothers have decided but he’ll stand by them. Did the Wyatts send them directions to get there? Otherwise we could be in for a long scavenger hunt.
Here are Enzo and Big Cass to talk about deciding to help John Cena on Raw. That wasn’t about them saving Cena or any personal issue with the Club. Monday was about sending a message to the Club to tell them that they can’t beat down anyone they want. This brings out the Club with AJ saying they owe the Club an apology for interrupting them as they beat up John Cena.
Anderson thinks they should beat up Enzo and Cass, then hit some golf balls, have some strawberry shortcake and then BEAT UP JOHN CENA. AJ wants to fight Enzo, who says they’re not a good original or a good remix. After one round with Sugar Ray Amore, they’ll walk out a diabetic.
AJ Styles vs. Enzo Amore
AJ wrestles him down and smirks a lot, only to have Enzo do the same right back. Enzo sends him outside for a big dive but trips on the top for a big crash onto the floor. Thankfully he gets up and is fine this time with AJ hammering away in the corner. Enzo gets in a dropkick but AJ easily takes him down for a chinlock. Back up and the tornado DDT is countered into a suplex to send Amore crashing into the corner. The big guys get in a fight on the floor as AJ crotches Enzo, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin at 5:37.
Rating: C-. This was fine despite the ending not being the biggest surprise in the world. Enzo is fine for a spot like this as he isn’t expected to beat almost anyone on his own but he can do such an effective job of talking that he can get back whatever he lost in all of ten seconds. The six man could be a lot of fun.
Apparently Owens stole Jericho’s scarf because he wanted to see if he could get one for his wife. Owens had some popcorn earlier and got the thing all greasy so Jericho demands money to have it cleaned. Kevin drops some change into Jericho’s hand but Owens makes sure to get the button back. Jericho wants one more quarter but Owens gives him a Jolly Rancher. Oh and he’ll be ringside for Jericho vs. Sami later. Jericho thinks it smells like soup. This was a completely face promo from Owens and he was just as good as always.
The Miz vs. Kalisto
Non-title. This is the result of Kalisto being the one to throw potato salad at Maryse on Monday. Apparently she’s allergic so this could have been an international incident. Kalisto starts fast with a top rope corkscrew armdrag to send Miz outside where Maryse prevents a dive. Miz sends him into the steps and we take an early break. Back with Miz working on the back with some forearms before he charges into Kalisto’s raised boots. Miz comes right back with a slingshot powerbomb for two before sidestepping the corkscrew forearm. The Skull Crushing Finale puts Kalisto away at 7:54.
Rating: D+. So much for the Kalisto experiment as he’s gone from defending the US Title at Wrestlemania to losing a match started over potato salad. He’s just the latest victim of the writers throwing a toy out of the crib and it’s still pretty sad to see. They had something there but so much for that because it’s time to go with…..well nothing actually.
Sasha Banks talks about how awesome she is when Charlotte comes in dressed as Banks. Insults are exchanged and Sasha vs. Dana is set for Monday. Charlotte throws down her Sasha gear because it’s not her look.
We get Monday’s Darren Young/Bob Backlund segment. This has to be close to the last one.
Brock Lesnar’s official opponent for Summerslam is……Randy Orton. Scott Stanford, Booker T., and Corey Graves preview the match a bit from WWE world headquarters.
Golden Truth plugs Sonic with Truth putting the food on top of a ladder to get ready for Money in the Bank. This was no “we got a couple of taters” from Monday.
Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho
Kevin Owens is at ringside and starts ripping on Byron before his music even ends. Owens: “Hi Sami! Hope you have a good match! I hope you break your ankle.” Jericho wristlocks him down for a bit until Sami scores with three straight armdrags. They head outside with Sami hitting his barricade moonsault but Jericho punches him in the face and mocks the OLE chants as we take a break.
Back with the Lionsault (Owens: “I taught him how to do that.”) connecting for two before we hit the chinlock. Jericho: “WHERE’S THE OLE??” Sami comes back but Jericho bails to the floor, only to take one of those running clotheslines. Back in and Owens talks about wanting to see Jericho kick Sami in the face, which is exactly what Chris does a second later.
Sami tornado DDTs Jericho to the floor for the big flip dive but Sami goes to take out Owens so Jericho can take over again. The exploder suplex sends Jericho into the corner but the Helluva Kick has to take Owens down. Jericho’s Walls attempt is countered into a quick rollup to give Sami the upset pin at 12:12.
Rating: B-. This is exactly the kind of match you have Jericho around for. He’s been built up for the last few months and now you have a young guy like Sami get a big win that makes him seem important. Owens interfering was a nice touch but the key here was Sami having Jericho beat with the Helluva Kick before having to recover and then win with the rollup. In other words, Sami was the better man and didn’t just win off a fluke.
Jericho lays Sami out and Owens comes in for a Pop Up Powerbomb to leave Sami laying as the show ends.
Overall Rating: C. There was an energy to this show that has been missing in the last few weeks and that’s a good sign going into the Draft. Above all else though they actually had some stuff happen here with the Lesnar announcement and Ryder challenging Rusev for the title. It’s the start of making people feel like they need to see Smackdown instead of it just being a show that they’ll stop on if they flip over to USA by mistake. There’s a long way to go but hopefully this was a first step.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Jey Uso – Pedigree
Zack Ryder b. Sheamus – Elbro
AJ Styles b. Enzo Amore – Styles Clash
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Rollup
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Monday Night Raw – July 4, 2016: Half A Cheer For The Red Monday Night Show
Monday Night Raw Date: July 4, 2016
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Now this should be interesting as it’s another show where almost no one is going to be watching, meaning WWE isn’t likely to put much, if any, effort into the show. There’s a US Title match between Rusev and Titus O’Neil plus a big US vs. The World elimination tag match which will likely get a lot of time. Let’s get to it.
We open at the roster’s Fourth of July party with Golden Truth rapping in the background. The Vaudevillains take their place with English singing the Declaration of Independence, only to have food thrown at him. Miz and Maryse (who should wear red more often) go into a rant about how this is why we can’t celebrate holidays anymore, which turns into an ad for Smackdown going live in two weeks.
A massive food fight breaks out with Kane and Big Show getting into a chokeslam battle until Heath Slater throws something at them, earning himself a chokeslam through a table. Everyone else leaves with only Kevin Owens sitting at a table. Owens: “This would never happen on Canada Day.” Someone hits him with a pie and Owens freaks out. Total filler but it’s tradition at this point.
Opening sequence.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as we have red white and blue ropes again.
US Title: Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
Rusev is defending and yes this is actually happening again. Titus is dressed like Apollo Creed for a nice touch. This is joined in progress after a break with Titus throwing Rusev around with ease before being tossed/suplexed out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Titus fights up for the slugout. Some shoulders and a big boot put Rusev down, followed by a powerslam for no cover. The Clash of the Titus gets two and the announcers basically admit that it’s over. Rusev gets in some kicks to the head and the Accolade ends this at 5:53.
Rating: D+. Next. Like please, find ANYTHING to go with from here because this feud has been over from the second the match was announced in the first place. Titus was fine (ok that’s a stretch) enough for a one off match but this is something like four times that we’ve seen Rusev beat up Titus, save for a lame countout. This needs to end the whole thing though because it’s not interesting and never really was.
Miz vs. Ambrose tonight in your weekly Smackdown rematch.
Here are the Social Outcasts dressed as minutemen but are quickly cut off by Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo thinks we should have some star spangled banter because they’re stars and take meteor showers. Amore lists off the Presidents in order and it’s time for a match.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Social Outcasts
Bo and Curtis since Heath is still banged up from earlier. Enzo gets beaten down for all of a minute before Cass comes in to clean house with the usual. A big boot sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka for the pin on Dallas at 2:03. In other words, the people dressed as the old school Americans get squashed.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke with something to say. Charlotte talks about people being jealous of her and the proof is around her waist. It must be eating Sasha alive that Charlotte is the champ and all she has is a WE WANT SASHA chant. There is no one that has done more than Charlotte this year because Sasha is all hype.
Cue Sasha to say Charlotte can be champion but she’ll never be Sasha. Charlotte doesn’t want to be here but Sasha says she would be champion if not for Charlotte’s daddy. We get the very good question of what it means to be the boss. Charlotte has been champion for most of the time since they debuted in WWE a year ago so she’s the legit boss. Sasha talks about how a boss fights all the time and is about to fight now but Dana’s distraction lets Charlotte kick Sasha in the face. That earns her a Bank Statement with Dana making the save before Charlotte can tap.
Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Non-title and another Smackdown rematch that won’t be billed as a rematch because Smackdown means nothing. Dean starts fast and clotheslines Miz out to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Miz reverses a whip and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose fighting back but getting dropkicked in the knee for his efforts.
We hit the Figure Four for a bit as JBL goes on his same rant about how you can’t put Ambrose’s face on billboards or have him on Jimmy Fallon, even though NO ONE BUT CENA (and occasionally Reigns) EVER DOES ANY OF THAT STUFF. Miz’s top rope ax handle is countered and Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive. Ambrose is nice enough to hold his leg after the dive connects. Back in and Miz kicks him in the face, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 9:42.
Rating: C-. The match was fine, albeit a shorter version of the exact same match that we saw back on Smackdown because that show is a dress rehearsal for whatever they’re doing on Monday. JBL continues to get on my nerves with his whole HE CAN’T BE CHAMPION thing because as usual, it makes no sense.
Post match here’s Seth Rollins for his match and a quick staredown with Ambrose that goes nowhere. Dean changes his mind and comes back to do commentary as it’s time to rip off Dean Ambrose from a few months ago.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and Dean switches from Spanish commentary to English as they get started. They hit the mat to start with Ziggler sending Rollins outside. Seth comes back in for some stomps and an enziguri to knock Dolph to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dolph getting a faceplant off the top for two, followed by Rollins’ low superkick getting the same. Ziggler evens the superkick score for another near fall, only to have the Zig Zag countered into the Pedigree for the pin at 11:18.
Rating: C+. This was fine and a better use of Ziggler than you normally see. Ziggler is going to be fine no matter how many times he loses and it’s a good idea to have Rollins win matches clean like this one. Rollins is a much bigger star so this really doesn’t hurt anyone in the short or long run.
Post match Rollins gets on the announcers’ table to rant about his legacy. He still thinks Reigns should be taken out of the triple threat because Reigns hasn’t worked for anything a day in his life. Ambrose gets on the other announcers’ table so Rollins can yell at him a bit before the fight is on. Rollins gets the worst of it though and it’s Dirty Deeds onto the table, which doesn’t break.
We get an old school Wyatt Family video with them talking about how New Day’s reality doesn’t really exist. They invite New Day into their world because the power of positivity is a myth believed only by fools and children. Join them.
Video on Baron Corbin. You don’t see this kind of thing often enough.
Here’s Vickie Guerrero to say she should be in charge of Smackdown. This goes on for a good while until security takes her away. Cole calls this very strange, despite it happening every week for the last month.
Big Show gives Team America (Zack Ryder, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Apollo Crews, Mark Henry and Jack Swagger) a pep talk about how it doesn’t matter where you’re from. Naturally the Battle Hymn of the Republic is playing in the background.
Vickie is being taken away when she runs into ex-boyfriend Dolph Ziggler…..who says he’s never seen her before so she should be taken away.
Golden Truth vs. Vaudevillains
Breezango is at ringside. Truth and Gotch start things off with Simon taking a kick to the face. A double tag brings in Goldust to work on English, including a bulldog for no cover. Everything breaks down and Truth tags himself in, setting up a powerbomb/side slam combo (Solid Gold) for the pin on English at 1:31. I’m so glad they brought the Vaudevillains up for something like this. Breezango did nothing.
Bob Backlund wants Darren Young to live a problem free life. His advice is to make his problems bend to his will. Then he asks about Young’s finisher, which is still the Gut Check. Backlund isn’t cool with the fact that Darren doesn’t have a submission hold so he suggests the Crossface Chickenwing, which he officially gives to Young. See, Backlund believes in Darren and wants him to be great again.
Here’s John Cena to suggest that the crowd isn’t as fired up as they normally are. They seem a little disappointed tonight but maybe they need to find that energy they had the first time he stood face to face with AJ Styles. We were waiting fifteen years for the big showdown but then AJ failed to stand on his own two feet. It wasn’t a big surprise though as Cena always knew he’d have to fight all of the members of the Club if he wanted to fight one, which is why he got laid out last week.
Cue the Club with AJ talking about the Club making their return to Tokyo this past week but the posters were all about John Cena. The Club runs Tokyo and soon they’ll run WWE, but first they have to get rid of Cena himself. AJ knows that Cena is loading up that shovel to get rid of him but last week there was no one out to save Cena when he was in trouble. It’s because no one relates to him because he’s this top star. Instead people relate to the Club, because they have the guts to get it done.
The Club is going to beat him up week after week, including on Labor Day and Halloween, even if it means dressing up like Bushwhacker Luke and Brutus Beefcake. Then on Christmas Day, Anderson is going to wrap presents with his hot Asian wife (his words) and then beat up John Cena. The Club comes down to the ring to beat him up now and the attack is on until Enzo and Big Cass of all people make the save. That’s certainly better than the Usos.
The Shining Stars are actually still a thing.
Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya is watching from the back as Summer chokes in the corner to start. We hit the chinlock less than a minute in before Summer botches a suplex, basically dropping Becky on her head. Some clotheslines set up the Bexploder for two before the Disarm-Her makes Summer tap at 2:58.
Chris Jericho wishes the Multi-National Alliance (Yes really. That would be Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Kevin Owens and the Lucha Dragons) a happy Canada Day but a multilingual argument breaks out.
Enzo and Cass shill Sonic.
Here’s New Day to talk about the Wyatt Family. We get Deliverance jokes before New Day promises to bring them a bowl of BootyO’s. The Wyatts pop up from their compound and say New Day’s screams are music to their ears. Bray issues the challenge to come to the compound. Kofi accepts but Woods keeps looking worried. As Big E. promises to spread positivity from the window to the wall, Woods cuts them off and says Bray just knows about fear. This is a bad idea and it’s no longer fun and games. If they can’t see that, New Day can’t survive.
John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club is set for Battleground.
Team USA vs. Multi-National Alliance
USA – Apollo Crews, Big Show, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Zack Ryder
Multi-National Alliance – Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Lucha Dragons
Elimination rules and the foreigners (including Kalisto, who hails from the far off land of Chicago) come to the ring to their national anthems. Owens beats up Ryder to start before it’s quickly off to D-Von vs. Cara. This is going to be really hard to keep track of early on. A quick 3D gets rid of Cara at 1:05 and the Brogue Kick does the same to Bubba at 1:12.
Back from a break with Cesaro swinging D-Von into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 5:45. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock but has to fight out of the Sharpshooter attempt. Jericho comes in and the Vader Bomb hits raised boots, setting up the Codebreaker for the elimination at 7:53. Kane comes in but everything breaks down for a huge brawl as we take another break.
Back with Del Rio getting two on Crews off a Backstabber before getting dropkicked out of the air. The hot tag brings in Henry for some slow motion house cleaning, only to have Kalisto dive into the World’s Strongest Slam for the elimination at 13:20. Owens comes in and GIVES HENRY A POP UP POWERBOMB for the elimination at 13:35.
That was insane and I was thinking there was no way he could do it but he just did anyway. Ryder is in next but Owens sends him into Sami, triggering the obvious brawl. Kane tags himself in but Owens hits Sami with a chair for the DQ at 14:55. As in Owens is disqualified, though it should really be Kane. Speaking of Kane, he hits Owens with the chair for another DQ at 15:24, despite Owens already being eliminated. Kane chokeslams Sami so Crews adds the standing moonsault for the elimination at 15:49. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews for the elimination at 15:53 and we’re rapidly running out of people.
So it’s down to Ryder/Big Show vs. Jericho/Sheamus/Del Rio/Cesaro with Jericho beating on Ryder. Cesaro tags himself in and it’s time for the uppercut train on Cesaro’s own teammates. He loads up the Neutralizer on Ryder but gets rolled up to eliminate Cesaro at 18:41. The announcers treat that way too lightly and it’s Sheamus beating on Ryder, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. The hot tag brings in Big Show to start cleaning house with the KO Punch eliminating Jericho at 20:14. Del Rio’s low superkick is blocked and a chokeslam gets rid of Alberto at 21:31.
We’re down to Sheamus vs. Ryder/Big Show with Show pulling Sheamus back in over the top by the hair. The chokeslam doesn’t work though and Sheamus is smart enough to go for the leg. Ryder comes in for his forearms in the corner, only to get caught in the powerslam for two. Show grabs Sheamus by the throat and shoves him into the Rough Ryder for the final pin at 22:18.
Rating: C-. Oh what else were you expecting here? You knew that a bazooka blast to the chest wasn’t going to defeat the Americans here and that’s exactly how this should have gone. Ryder getting the win is a fun little moment and no one is going to remember this by the time it’s the fifth of July so everything is fine. The match was nothing to see but it’s not like any rational person was expecting anything else.
Old Glory is lowered and fireworks take us out.
Overall Rating: D+. Again I ask: what else were you expecting? It was mostly a skippable show with some decent wrestling and a grand total of nothing of note, save for a six man being announced twenty days before a pay per view. This is a good example of a throw away show that no one was going to watch in the first place but at least there was enough stuff on here to keep me entertained for three hours. We’ll be back to serious next week and that’s fine on a holiday like this.
Results
Rusev b. Titus O’Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillains – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Money in the Bank 2016 Date: June 19, 2016
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
You always hear about how any particular show is supposed to be the best ever but in this case they might actually have a chance at the best Money in the Bank of all time. There are three major matches tonight with AJ Styles vs. John Cena, Roman Reigns defending the WWE World Title against Seth Rollins and of course the Money in the Bank ladder match. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Breezango vs. Golden Truth
Breezango has severe sunburns due to some shenanigans before the match. Fandango and Truth start things off with Truth chopping at the very raw chest. It’s off to Breeze vs. Goldust as the chop-a-thon continues. Fandango comes in and ducks a chop, only to have Truth slap him on the back. Breeze offers a distraction so Fandango can stomp away, much to his own severe pain. We hit a leg crank on Truth for a bit before it’s back to Goldust for more chops and atomic drops. Everything breaks down and the Final Cut (suplex into a neckbreaker) puts Fandango away at 5:00.
Rating: D+. Sure it was stupid but I’ve got a soft spot for this angle as they’re just having goofy fun. The wrestling obviously wasn’t the point here and that’s ok when the entire point of this match is to fill in some time before we get to the actual pay per view. It’s nothing worth watching again but it’s funny enough to do its job.
Pre-Show: Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz
Bubba and Kalisto start things off before Cara comes in for a dive, followed by a double dive to take the Dudleyz down. Back from a break with Bubba working on Cara’s arm as the fans want tables. D-Von’s big elbow drop gets two before it’s back to Bubba who threatens to rip Cara’s mask off. The jab sequence is countered by a dropkick from Cara and the hot tag brings in Kalisto. The hurricanrana driver and kick to the head have the Dudleyz rocked and we get some heel miscommunication for good measure. A 3D is broken up and it’s the Salida Del Sol and the Dragon Bomb (swanton) for the pin on Bubba at 8:50.
Rating: C+. This was WAY better than I was expecting and a rather snappy little tag match. The Dragons never getting the titles is actually a bit surprising but at least we get a few nice matches like this every now and then. I’d still like to see Kalisto get an extended singles run but if this is the best I can get, so be it.
The opening video looks at the history of Las Vegas and the idea of chasing the dream. Everyone here tonight is going all in for the sake of reaching their goal, whatever that may cost.
Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Vaudevillains vs. The Club vs. New Day
New Day is defending. Enzo’s attire looks like it’s covered with a bunch of miniature license plates. He’s sorry but he’s a bit tired tonight because he and Lady Luck were up all night. New Day does some impressions on the way to the ring, including calling Enzo and Cass a sawed off Han Solo and a hairless Chewbacca. The Vaudevillains are the Monopoly Men and the Club is being sent back to Japan to cure their male pattern baldness.
One fall to a finish here and it’s Kofi vs. Karl to start things off. It’s quickly off to Gallows who eats a quick pendulum kick in the corner before Enzo comes in to help clean house. Kofi grabs a rollup for two on Amore and that’s not quite cool. We get the big showdown between Cass and E. but Gotch tags himself in instead. Everything breaks down and all eight stare each other down in a cool visual.
The heels are sent outside and it’s Enzo/Cass vs. New Day, only to have the Vaudevillains jump Kofi from behind to take over. Gallows tags himself in but a double clothesline drops both Luke and Kofi. A double tag brings in English and Enzo (odd choices for tags) but it’s quickly back to Gallows, who low bridges Enzo to the floor. Amore grabs a tornado DDT on Luke and another double tag brings in Cass and Anderson. Cass cleans house and throws Enzo onto a pile at ringside.
The Rocket Launcher gets two on Anderson with Gallows pulling Enzo out at the last possible second (or maybe a bit too late). Kofi tags himself in but misses Trouble in Paradise. The Whirling Dervish gets a very close two on Kofi (I bought that as the finish for a second) and Big E. spears Gotch to the floor. Kofi grabs a DDT on English but Karl makes a blind tag. There’s a Magic Killer to English, only to have Big E. make a quick save. The Midnight Hour connects on Anderson and Kofi pins English at 11:47.
Rating: B+. It’s not quite the four way from last month but sweet goodness they were on fire here. This was a great back and forth match where I actually bought that all four teams could have gotten the belts at any time. In theory this sets up the Club vs. New Day for the titles at Battleground after New Day sets the record for the longest title reign.
Kevin Owens is in the back and brags about being awesome when he powerbombed John Cena on the apron last year. See, you have to specify what he does because everything he does is special. Owens: “That’s what my mom tells me.” Jericho comes in and does his usual speech about inventing Money in the Bank but Owens calls him out for never winning the thing.
Alberto comes in (Owens: “Most likely to speak some Spanish.”) and they discuss the meaning of perro. Del Rio brags about being the only one to win Money in the Bank but Owens cuts him off to say he needs new material, like Owens, who is always doing cool stuff. Jericho: “The only perros I see here are this pair-o idiots.” Jericho offers them the gift of Jericho but both guys leave, allowing Jericho to call them stupid idiots. If Owens was any more golden, he’d be a prize in the Olympics.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Because this won’t die. The threat of a superkick sends Corbin backing off so he pops Dolph with a right hand to take over. Ziggler tries to send him under the ropes but Corbin swings around the post and comes in with a hard clothesline. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Corbin just stomps away. The fans call this boring so Corbin takes a bit of a bow and picks Ziggler up even slower.
Dolph comes back with some dropkicks but can’t follow up. The Fameasser and superkick are both broken up and Corbin blasts him with another clothesline for two. Back up and Ziggler avoids a charge to send him shoulder first into the post, setting up the Fameasser for two. The fans alternate between Bayley and Ryback chants as Corbin bails to the floor to avoid the superkick. That thing better hit at some point.
A Deep Six on the floor gets a nine count. Back in again and End of Days is countered into the superkick for two. Ziggler heads up top but gets caught by a running right hand. Well that’s a bit more simple. Ziggler jumps back down and tries another superkick, only to run into End of Days for the pin at 12:24.
Rating: B-. This is a good example of a quality match where the fans just weren’t interested and I really can’t blame them. These two have fought so many times and there’s no reason to want to see them again. That’s where WWE gets in trouble so many times: they get something interesting and then don’t know when to stop, laving us with crowd reactions like this. It was good with the nice little story of teasing the superkick but I had no interest in watching them.
Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch/Natalya
The announcers point out Natalya losing title match after title match this year. Natalya shoves Dana to the ropes a few times to start so Dana shouts a lot. Becky comes in and we get a Hart Attack on Dana, followed by a baseball slide to put Charlotte on the floor as well. Back in and Natalya gets beaten down as the announcers push the idea that Charlotte has been teaching Dana to get better. Apparently she needs to do more teaching as Natalya gets over for the tag off to Becky for the house cleaning.
The Bexploder sends Charlotte flying and a double missile dropkick drops the villains. Natalya comes in for the discus lariat on Charlotte, who comes back with a rollup for two with her feet on the ropes. The Sharpshooter has Charlotte in trouble but Dana makes the save, only to have Natalya and Becky collide. Natural Selection ends Natalya at 7:00.
Rating: C. Much like the previous match, I never want to see Charlotte vs. Natalya again. That’s like five straight losses for Natalya and there’s no reason to see them go at it again. Just let Sasha come up and get the title in a better match like everyone wants to see instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again. Why can’t WWE get that simple logic?
Post match Becky apologizes but Natalya blasts her with a forearm for a heel turn. Yeah because that’s going to make her interesting. Again, if you want us to care about a character more, DON’T HAVE THEM JOB IN EVERY SINGLE MATCH BEFORE YOU TURN THEM.
Dean Ambrose says we’re in the jungle tonight and he’s walking out with the title. He doesn’t have a comment on the main event other than Reigns is going to have fun beating on Rollins. “Beating up Seth is fun.”
Sheamus vs. Apollo Crews
Veteran vs. newcomer. Sheamus jumps him to start and headlocks Crews down. Back up and Crews sends him out to the floor, only to get caught in Irish Curse off the apron and out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans break out the YOU LOOK STUPID chants again.
The ten forearms to the chest get two for Sheamus and we hit another chinlock. Crews pops back up for his running clotheslines and an enziguri before belly to belly suplexing Sheamus over the top. A moonsault from the apron gets two but Sheamus runs him over again. Sheamus takes it to the top for a super White Noise and two but an argument with the referee allows Crews to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:44.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I was expecting to as Crews got the win after hanging in there long enough. It’s kind of a fluke but Crews kicked out after a big move and got to show off enough to make it look like a big win. This is what people like Sheamus and Ziggler are good for: having quality matches and putting people over while it still means something.
We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. This has been billed as a dream match and that’s not too far from the truth. Styles attacked Cena a few weeks back like so many others have done but Cena was more impressed by a moment when the fans were chanting LET’S GO CENA/AJ STYLES. Tonight AJ has his chance to prove that he belongs and has agreed to have the Club barred from ringside.
AJ Styles vs. John Cena
The fans are just coming unglued for this before the bell. They trade takedowns to start and AJ is all fired up. Cena comes right back with some armdrags and a monkey flip of all things but it’s way too early for the AA. You Can’t See Me is answered with a forearm to the face and AJ starts sticking and moving. That earns him a belly to belly before they head outside. Cena tries to send him into the steps but AJ jumps over them in a sweet counter that leaves Cena shocked.
Back in and a knee drop gets two for AJ, followed by a suplex. AJ: “Is this all he’s got?” Cena keeps going simple with a stiff right hand and a backdrop but the flying shoulders are countered with a dropkick. We hit the chinlock for a bit before another comeback is countered by an enziguri.
The Protobomb plants AJ but the Shuffle is broken up as well with Cena being knocked outside. A big flip dive misses though and Cena finally has an opening. Back in and the AA is countered again with AJ hitting the strike rush, only to get caught in the STF. A rope is grabbed so Cena tries a top rope AA but Styles reverses into something like Snake Eyes. Cena tries it again (with some LOUD spot calling, which has been an issue all night) but AJ escapes one more time.
The Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the AA but Cena takes too much time turning to face the camera, allowing AJ to reverse into the Calf Crusher. John gets to the ropes and hits that big running clothesline to make the comeback when he needs to hit a big move to make a comeback. The AA is countered AGAIN but Cena just muscles him up, only to have AJ kick out again.
Cena is shocked so he goes up top, only to have the Fameasser countered into a powerbomb to put both guys down. That’s only good for two as well so it’s a Pele into the Styles Clash for two more with the fans getting more and more into the kickouts. The springboard 450 only hits knees though and both guys are down. Neither can hit finishers with AJ landing on his feet to escape the AA but missing the Pele. The Forearm misses and Cena tries another AA, only to have the ref get bumped. Now the AA connects but there’s no one to count. Cue the Club for the Magic Killer to give AJ the pin at 24:09.
Rating: A-. I was hoping for a clean finish here as they were nailing it near the end. They were working the big match formula here and the key thing is AJ looking like he belonged in there and even frustrating Cena like few others have been able to. I don’t know if I’d say it lived up to the expectations but I don’t think anything really could have. Still though, excellent stuff as you had to know was coming..
JBL calls this a cheap victory but it’s not clear if AJ knew what happened. I mean, him looking up while the Club ran in would suggest otherwise but I’ve heard worse storyline explanations. As expected, JBL drives the point into the ground like no one else can.
We get a really cool video on the ladder match with a theme of what the briefcase can mean for you and how it means the world to someone’s career.
Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
The fans seem split between Owens and Ambrose. Huge brawl to start as you would expect with Ambrose taking Owens down, followed by Sami hitting a big flip dive to take out most of his opponents. Owens kicks Sami in the face though and it’s Jericho with a front suplex to send Cesaro ribs first into the ladder. Dean gets back in but gets suplexed onto the ladder for his efforts. Jericho tries to crush him 69 times with the ladder but Del Rio comes in for the save.
That means it’s time for an uppercut party until Owens makes the save and busts out the Cannonballs. Sami comes back in and makes the first real climb but Del Rio makes the save and ties him in the Tree of Woe. Del Rio gives Cesaro the top rope double stomp onto a ladder but makes the slow climb, allowing Jericho to come in for a save. Chris gets pulled down and might have hurt his knee.
Del Rio goes up again but Cesaro makes a save this time, only to get caught in the cross armbreaker on the ladder. Kevin superkicks Del Rio but eats the spinning uppercut. Now it’s Ambrose and Jericho back inside with Jericho hitting a Codebreaker but only getting his hand on the briefcase as Sami makes a save.
They’re both knocked onto the ropes by an intervening Owens, who is taken down just as quickly with a Backstabber. There’s a Cesaro Swing for Del Rio and one for Jericho as a bonus with Cesaro letting him fly into the ladder for a big crash. Ambrose hits the elbow drop on Cesaro but Owens makes another save and crushes Dean with a frog splash onto the ladder.
Sami’s Michinoku Driver onto the side of an overturned ladder freaks the fans out all over again and breaks Owens at the same time. Del Rio hits Sami with a ladder over and over for the save before bridging one ladder into the other and draping the end on the middle turnbuckle. Cesaro does the same thing on the other side to make two platforms and all six are on ladders at the same time.
Cesaro and Del Rio fall off and the four others climb the middle ladder at once, only to have Del Rio and Cesaro set up another ladder. That results in a huge crash with Del Rio taking a very nasty fall. Everyone else falls down and Sami goes up, only to have Jericho run across the platform and make a save. Now it’s Dean stopping that one and planting Jericho with Dirty Deeds. Owens pulls Sami down and powerbombs him onto the platform. Dean and Kevin fight on the ladder with Owens falling backwards through the ladder and Ambrose gets the briefcase at 21:36 as JBL goes ballistic.
Rating: B+. See, this is what I was hoping for when they announced a six man match. Instead of fighting to get time, this was all about everyone going for the briefcase and surviving until the end when someone could get the briefcase. The ending isn’t a shock as you had two main options with Ambrose and Owens and it’s hard to argue with Dean winning. Really fun brawl though with some awesome spots, though nothing we haven’t seen before.
Long pre-show recap.
US Title: Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
Rusev is defending and Titus’ kids are in the crowd. Rusev goes straight outside and gets in their faces, setting up a double clothesline on the floor. Titus just erupts on Rusev against the barricade before throwing him into said barricade. Rusev sends him into the post for a seven count before getting two off a spinwheel kick back inside. A hard knee has Titus’ ribs in trouble and we hit the chinlock.
Titus fights back with elbows to the ribs and a shoulder. Something like a reverse slam gets two but Titus has to get out of the Accolade. A pumphandle powerslam gets two more on the champ, who comes right back with the jumping superkick. Now the Accolade retains the title at 8:15.
Rating: D+. It’s almost like the idea of crushing the former champion over and over left Rusev with no one credible to defend against here. Oh wait Titus won some dad award a year or so ago so now he’s supposed to be interesting. Boring match here with zero doubt about the end result but that’s what midcard titles mean these days.
Rusev laughs at Titus’ kids and PLEASE don’t mean we get a rematch.
We recap Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins with 15 minutes left in the show. They’ve been involved forever and things were made even worse when Rollins cashed in Money in the Bank to end Wrestlemania XXXI. Then Rollins hurt his knee and Reigns took the title in Seth’s absence, setting up this showdown.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns is defending and the bell rings at 10:54 EST. Feeling out process to start until Reigns drops him with a shoulder. A second shoulder does the same but a third is blocked with a dropkick. Reigns is sent outside for a suicide dive but comes right back with a Samoan Drop for two. The fans don’t give Roman an inch as he hits that running clothesline and pounds away in the corner.
It’s past 11pm as regular pay per views now have overruns. Roman asks if Seth is ready for this so Rollins slaps him in the face. The comeback is stopped with a right hand and Roman sends him over the announcers’ table. Seth whips the champ into the steps but Roman comes right back with a Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb for two. The Superman Punch is avoided though and Seth dropkicks him outside for another suicide dive. A big flip dive over the top is followed by a Sling Blade for two back inside.
The Pedigree doesn’t work though and the Superman Punch gets two for the champ. Seth enziguris Reigns away and hits the springboard knee to the head. A frog splash gets two on Reigns, allowing JBL to get in his second Eddie Guerrero reference of the night. Rollins is scared to go for the sunset bomb so he switches to a buckle bomb and low superkick for two instead.
Seth has to try three times for a superplex before getting him down, setting up a Falcon’s Arrow for two. The Pedigree is broken up again and Rollins gets two more off a powerbomb. The slugout goes to Rollins and there’s another buckle bomb, only to have Reigns come out with a Superman Punch for two. Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, Rollins goes outside, only to avoid the spear into the barricade.
Medics come out to check on Reigns until Rollins throws him back inside for the Pedigree. That’s countered as well and we get a ref bump, followed by the spear for a delayed near fall. The spear is countered into a Pedigree for two and Rollins is stunned. There’s a second Pedigree and Rollins is champion at 26:04.
Rating: B+. It was long but the end was a surprise and a good way to wrap things up with Reigns getting pinned clean. This sets up a lot of interesting stuff with the potential Shield triple threat that should headline Summerslam but more importantly….I hear music so we’ll cut this short.
We’re not done yet! Ambrose comes in through the crowd and hits Rollins with the briefcase for the cash-in.
WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Ambrose is champion off Dirty Deeds in 9 seconds. More importantly: NO MONEY IN THE BANK FOR A YEAR!!!
JBL sounds like he wants to cry as Ambrose celebrates to take us off the air.
Overall Rating: A-. If not for some of the midcard stuff not exactly living up to the same standards and what seems to be the introduction of overruns on a pay per view (because ten matches over four hours and then three hours and ten minutes tomorrow night isn’t enough), this would have been a classic. As it is it’s just great and a bit beneath the 2011 edition, though still very good.
That being said, if WWE actually runs the Shield triple threat at freaking Battleground and not on the big stage of say Summerslam’s main event, I think my head might explode. That’s a Wrestlemania main event level match and there’s a chance they’ll waste it on the nothing July pay per view. Either way, it’s a really good show worth watching, but have your fast forward button ready.
Results
New Day b. The Club, Vaudevillains and Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Kofi pinned English after a Magic Killer
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days
Charlotte/Dana Brooke b. Natalya/Becky Lynch – Natural Selection to Natalya
Apollo Crews b. Sheamus – Rollup
AJ Styles b. John Cena – Pin after a Magic Killer from the Club
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Alberto Del Rio, Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Ambrose pulled down the briefcase
Rusev b. Titus O’Neil – Accolade
Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns – Pedigree
Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins – Dirty Deeds
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It’s another big time pay per view but more interestingly it might be the last pay per view of this era with the Brand Split changing everything a month after this show airs. They’re building this up as the greatest Money in the Bank of all time and while I have a really hard time believing they can top the 2011 edition, it could be interesting to see what they could do here. Let’s get to it.
The card has actually undergone a few changes so we’ll start with the new pre-show matches, beginning with Golden Truth vs. Breezango. I know it’s not the most popular feud in the world but I’ve been digging this story as it’s gone on for months. The interesting thing here though is I’m not sure who wins goes over. They could finally have Golden Truth get a win but that kind of wraps up the feud. On the other hand they could go with Breezango winning and further the split between Truth and Goldust.
I actually think Breezango goes over as Golden Truth doesn’t exactly have much of a future while Breezango could actually be built into a low level team of some value. Yeah I’ll take Breezango but I wouldn’t be surprised if I was wrong. Either way, this is a good example of how to get WAY more than should be gotten out of a stupid comedy story and I could actually go with these teams going somewhere else.
The other pre-show match is the definition of “here’s a match thrown together for the sake of making this show even longer” as the Dudley Boys face the Lucha Dragons. It’s really sad to see the Dragons thrown back together after Kalisto lost his US Title and the writers threw him out of their crib like they do with all of their new toys.
I guess we’ll go with the Dragons here because…..well because they were heads when I flipped a coin in my head. There’s really no reason for either team to go over the other so yeah we’ll pick the Dragons with at least a 50% confidence rate. This really feels like background noise while you’re getting your pizza ready for the main show and that really doesn’t need to happen, especially when you already have a pre-show match with so little importance.
Now on to the main card and we’ll start with the four way for the Tag Team Titles as New Day defends against the Vaudevillains, the Club and Enzo Amore/Big Cass. In theory this is the Club’s match to lose but the more I think about it, the more I think that they’re going to let New Day break the record for the titles, which they would by the time Battleground rolls around.
So yeah I think New Day escapes here to set up the big showdown with the Club, though again Club could wind up pulling it off here. I think we can forget the idea of Enzo/Cass or the Vaudevillains getting the titles here though I can go with the idea of the other two teams being added on to save the big showdown for later. As easily as I could see the Club getting the belts, I’ll go with New Day surviving one more month and getting the record before dropping them at Battleground.
I’m sorry for being so back and forth with the picks here but it’s that kind of a card. That’s not a bad thing either.
In another match that doesn’t need to exist, we have Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler yet again because this is what you do with a young name after you bring him up and give him a big win at Wrestlemania: give him the exact same match over and over again with no one getting anywhere as a result.
In theory this should go to Corbin in what better be this final match of the feud. I can barely remember why they’re fighting at this point because they’re in the horrible trap of “well we’ve been fighting for a long time now so let’s just keep fighting”. Ziggler has nothing to lose at this point but Corbin could move on to fighting for a midcard title after this feud so there’s really no reason to not go with Corbin. Yeah Corbin and I’m moving on to the next match before I can change my mind again.
Next up we have what should be a squash in a title match with Rusev beating the barks out of Titus O’Neil. I know he’s like the best father ever or whatever that nothing award they gave him was and the show is on Father’s Day but I can’t imagine they put Titus, who hasn’t actually won a match on Raw or Smackdown since February. Of course that’s enough for a title shot, mainly because Jack Swagger is too busy in theory.
So yeah, Rusev wins here and absolutely crushes Titus while Lana stands around looking hot. I’m not looking forward to this but it’s better than watching Rusev squash Kalisto all over again. They really need to actually have someone built up to challenge him instead of just picking someone off the roster and letting Rusev crush them on pay per view. Still though, at least Titus’ energy should help carry some of the match.
In a match I’m actually looking forward to, Apollo Crews will be facing Sheamus in his first major match in the company. This is your standard “I’m big and you’re small” match and that’s a style that is almost always going to work no matter what you do. Again there’s no reason for Crews to lose as Sheamus has the ability and the resume to pop back up after anything that happens to him. Crews wins here and there’s no reason for Sheamus to even be considered.
One more match before we get to the big stuff as we look at the women’s tag match. What in the world has happened to this division since Wrestlemania? The triple threat there was an absolute spectacle but this never ending Charlotte vs. Natalya feud while the fans are just waiting for Sasha to come out there and take the title has completely burned through all of the momentum they had built up. The wrestling is definitely better and it’s a lot more entertaining than it was but there’s no fire to the matches and that’s not a good thing.
I’ll go with Charlotte/Dana over Becky/Natalya because the latter two are just not allowed to win a big match no matter what they do. There’s no need for this feud to continue but it seems like we’re waiting for August to actually have Sasha come in and win the title she should have gotten at Wrestlemania in the first place. Either way it’s time for some fresh energy (not blood, which is a different thing) in the division, which shouldn’t be the case after one of the best women’s matches in American history just two and a half months ago.
Now we get to the important stuff and we’ll start with probably the least important of the three main events as Seth Rollins faces Roman Reigns. To say this one is confusing is an understatement as Rollins was built up as the sympathetic face with the big documentary and returned to the big face pop at Extreme Rules. On the other hand you have Roman Reigns who certainly does have his fans but is being pushed as one of the awkward faces in history despite being a natural heel while getting booed out of several buildings around the country.
The thing is, there’s almost no way this is going to be the last match between the two, but possibly more importantly it’s going to be the last time they might be on pay per view on the same brand. I’m almost sure there’s not going to be a cash-in but I’d bet on a DQ or countout finish here with Reigns holding onto the belt. Rollins will probably need some more seasoning before being put back on top of the card, but this should be one heck of a match as Reigns is always good to great once the bell rings.
Next up we have the namesake match with Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho and Alberto Del Rio in the Money in the Bank ladder match. In another instance of me having almost no idea who is winning here, this match is basically a pick em save for Alberto who should have as much chance of winning this match as I do of winning Miss Nevada 1973.
I think I’m going with Owens, who would be the best choice for the briefcase long term for the promos alone. Ambrose is a real option too but I can’t really picture them going with him actually winning a big match. The same is true of Cesaro and it’s too early for Sami. There’s a slight chance to get it on Jericho, who they’ve talked about as never winning the match he’s created. Of course that would be ridiculous and not really help anyone but that didn’t stop them at Wrestlemania. I’ll stick with Owens here but Jericho is a dark horse. Oh and one last thing: well done on keeping it at six. For once I can remember everyone involved.
That leaves us with the main event and sweet goodness this should be fun. There aren’t many actual dream matches out there but AJ vs. Cena really is one of them. The buildup has been excellent with that contract signing more than pushing me over the top, which really wasn’t hard after the setup.
I’m not sure what else there is to say here as it’s AJ Styles vs. John Cena in a featured match on a WWE pay per view. I’ll take AJ to win in a masterpiece to set up a bunch of rematches down the line which is fine. Yeah Cena would lose in his big comeback match but it makes the most sense here, meaning it’s more than likely to be wrong. The thing is there’s no wrong answer here and that’s a good sign going into tomorrow night.
It’s a rare thing but I actually got more excited for the show going through the preview. This really is one of the most stacked cards I’ve seen in a very long time and it has the potential to be some incredible stuff. Maybe not the best Money in the Bank ever but it’s going to be a heck of a night of wrestling and that’s what these shows should be. Pay per views are almost always awesome these days and I see no reason why that trend won’t continue here.
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Smackdown Date: June 16, 2016
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It’s the final show before Money in the Bank so just set up the big six man main event already. This week’s Raw had some strong story building moments for the coming pay per view but the go home Smackdowns can be all over the place quality wise. Hopefully they don’t just bore us with nothing matches that don’t fire up the fans for Sunday. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Chris Jericho in the ring for the Highlight Reel. Jericho says quiet about seventeen times and unveils the new Jeritron 6500 and the new $2000 carpet. He promises to win Money in the Bank because he created it (“You’re welcome.”). Tonight his guest is Dean Ambrose, even though Jericho hates him. Dean comes out with a cup of coffee but first we have to look at the clip of the Ambrose Asylum on Monday. Jericho isn’t cool with the coffee because this carpet is made of Serengeti yak hair. Dean’s coffee is like the Gift of Jericho man. He’s just drinking it in.
Jericho says Dean won’t be Shawn Michaels tonight and shove his head through the screen so Dean’s Jeritron privileges are revoked. Actually everyone has so raise the screen. Chris brings up the thumbtacks and says the holes don’t combine to equal the hole left in Dean’s spirit by never being World Heavyweight Champion. Dean isn’t winning the briefcase or the title on Sunday but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt. That case is HIS and he might cash in at any time.
Cue Del Rio to speak Spanish and say no one understands how this works except for him but here’s Cesaro to interrupt as well. Nothing is said before Sami cuts them off and announces tonight’s six man, triggering an argument with Cesaro over the interruption. Jericho calls them stupid idiots and says they’ll win tonight so Dean pours the coffee on the carpet to start the brawl.
Kofi Kingston vs. Aiden English vs. Luke Gallows vs. Big Cass
Enzo’s entrance is cut off by New Day and that’s not cool. I guess New Day are haters now? Other than Kofi riding in on Big E.’s shoulders, there’s no special entrance from New Day. Enzo and Woods are sitting in on commentary. Gallows powerbombs Kofi to start but Cass clotheslines Luke down and knocks Aiden outside as well. The Club gets Cass to the floor and sends him into the barricade as the guest commentators both get up and we take a break.
Back with Aiden and Gallows taking turns beating on Kofi before naturally fighting over who gets the pin. Cass breaks up what looks like a Doomsday Device with big boots and clotheslines all around. Gotch tries to interfere but Gallows pulls Cass to the floor. Kingston dives off the top to take out Gallows and Cass, followed by Big E. running over Gotch. Back inside it’s Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise for the pin on English at 7:44.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and Kofi winning isn’t exactly a great sign for New Day’s reign going forward. The Club winning the titles makes the most sense which is probably why the Vaudevillains will win the titles. I’m really hoping they don’t split up New Day or Enzo/Cass in the Draft but leave it to WWE to go with the worst possibly choices.
Natalya and Becky Lynch are ready for their tag match on Sunday and insist that the truth is out there: Charlotte can’t win a match on her own. Dana and Charlotte come in so bickering can ensue.
Baron Corbin vs. Zack Ryder
Dolph Ziggler is on commentary. Corbin chokes to start but goes outside to yell at Ziggler, allowing Ryder to get in a dropkick off the apron. The Broski Boot gets two (on Baron if that wasn’t clear) but End of Days wraps Ryder up at 1:46.
Corbin walks away from a fight with Ziggler post match.
Rusev vs. Kalisto
Non-title and Lana does Rusev’s intro. They show Rusev beating Titus O’Neal down on Raw to basically guarantee the post match shenanigans. Kalisto gets jumped during the entrances and put in the Accolade. No match.
Sin Cara tries to make a save and gets the same treatment. Titus runs in for the save and cleans house.
Recap of the Styles vs. Cena contract signing.
AJ Styles says he’ll prove he can win on his own this Sunday. New Day comes in to laugh at AJ’s lack of style and a match is set up between Woods vs. Styles.
Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles
No seconds at ringside. Feeling out process to start with AJ sending Woods off the ropes and saying Xavier can’t see him. AJ cranks on a wristlock and says he does this better than Cena. Woods comes back with a strike to the forehead, only to have AJ chop block him down. AJ takes his time to let the referee check on Woods, who catches AJ with a jumping knee to the head. The Pele drops Woods for two though and it’s off to the chinlock.
Woods finally gets up and grabs an O’Connor Roll for two, only to get caught in a backbreaker. We take a break and come back with Xavier punching his way out of a superplex and getting two off a high cross body. A reverse suplex drops Styles and a discus forearm puts him on the floor. Woods follows him out with a big flip dive before walking across the top rope for a LONG elbow drop and a near fall. AJ escapes a superplex and scores with the Phenomenal Forearm setting up the Calf Crusher (Styles: “THIS IS WHAT I’M GOING TO DO TO JOHN CENA!”) for the tap out at 12:21.
Rating: B-. Woods can go when he wants to but most of the time he’s just there for comic relief. Granted it might have helped that the match was against AJ Styles and Woods only had to do the basics to get through this one. The ending made perfect sense as they set up the injury at the beginning and then paid it off at the end. Why is that so complicated?
Post match AJ says that’s just a taste of what Cena is getting when his time is up.
This week’s lesson with Bob Backlund is about Darren Young reading more. Bob says they’re like dumbbells for the brain but Backlund doesn’t like the idea of Darren taking advice from anyone, including Backlund himself. That’s because Backlund doesn’t give advice. Instead he gives orders, like 100 high knees right now.
Natalya vs. Charlotte
Non-title with Becky and Dana at ringside. Charlotte takes it to the mat with a headlock which is countered into a headscissors. The hold is quickly broken but Natalya breaks up the strut. Charlotte gets caught in a surfboard but it’s too early for the Sharpshooter. Natalya will have none of this waiting on the floor and takes Charlotte out with a baseball slide. Dana offers a distraction though, allowing Charlotte to kick Natalya in the face to take over. The advantage doesn’t last long though as Natalya throws her over with a German suplex for two.
Nattie By Nature gets two as the announcers talk about video games. Lawler: “The only video game you should be talking about is WWE2K16.” That’s some veteran shilling. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb for two, only to have Dana hold up the title as a distraction. Becky and Dana slug it out and Charlotte chop blocks Natalya, setting up the Figure Eight for the submission at 5:48.
Rating: C+. I’m not sure how this is supposed to help set up Sunday but I’m not really sure why these women are still fighting. You would think Natalya losing like five matches to Charlotte would be enough to end the feud but let’s just keep it going anyway. It’s not like there’s anyone else around to challenge for the title. One last note: I’d like to point out that the loss to Paige on Monday seems to mean absolutely nothing, barring a surprise Paige title shot coming up after Money in the Bank.
Long video on Roman vs. Rollins.
Dean Ambrose/Sami Zayn/Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens
It’s a big brawl to start until Del Rio and Cesaro are left alone in the ring. Alberto misses the corner enziguri but still lands on Cesaro’s back. That means it’s time for the uppercut train (and Mauro’s uppercut party line) before Del Rio avoids the Codebreaker to the arm. Cesaro can’t hook the Swing though and has to settle for a flip dive off the apron. The running European uppercut sends Jericho into the timekeeper’s area.
Del Rio gets one as well and Cesaro stays on him with a high cross body for two. Cesaro Swings all three heels with Jericho getting the last one and a Sharpshooter to go with it. Jericho taps but isn’t legal, allowing Del Rio to superkick Cesaro down for two as we take a break. Back with Jericho posing over a fallen Cesaro before handing it off to Owens for a stomping in the corner. Del Rio tags himself in to hammer Cesaro even more, only to get dropkicked off the top and out to the floor.
The hot tag brings in Sami to take on Jericho as everything breaks down. Sami’s high cross body gets two but Owens gets in a cheap shot to let Jericho take over. That means a long and obvious spot call in the corner until Sami gets in a clothesline to set up the hot tag to Dean. Everything breaks down again and Dean sends Del Rio to the floor for the suicide dive.
The standing elbow misses though and Alberto gets two off a Backstabber. Dirty Deeds is broken up and it’s Cesaro cleaning house with uppercuts, including one to Ambrose. Del Rio tags out to Owens, earning himself a superkick. Jericho gets one from Owens as well, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin on Kevin at 13:50.
Rating: C+. This was exactly what I was expecting but that’s to be expected when you do the same building process year after year. It’s a fine Smackdown main event with enough good action and a grand total of almost no storyline advancement. In other words: a big part of why no one watches Smackdown at the moment.
Overall Rating: C. You can feel the show being stuck in a holding pattern until we get to the Brand Split and Smackdown possibly starts meaning anything again. This didn’t do anything to make me want to see Sunday’s show but Raw already took care of most of that. The show wasn’t bad or anything but it was so horribly average with nothing memorable whatsoever. If this doesn’t change after the split, this show is in major trouble.
Results
Kofi Kingston b. Big Cass, Aiden English and Luke Gallows – Trouble in Paradise to English
Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days
AJ Styles b. Xavier Woods – Calf Crusher
Charlotte b. Natalya – Figure Eight
Dean Ambrose/Cesaro/Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio – Dirty Deeds to Owens
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – June 13, 2016: Someone Give Me A Good Title For A Strong Go Home Show
Monday Night Raw Date: June 13, 2016
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank so it’s hard to say how much will actually happen this week. In this case we’ll have the buildup to the actual ladder match but one of the participants will be crossing over to the main event as well as Dean Ambrose hosts a special Ambrose Asylum with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We have a moment of silence for Orlando.
Here’s New Day to get things going. During their entrance we see a sign in the crowd reading “The guy behind me can’t see.” That actually made me groan and furthers my loathing of most wrestling fans. They talk about the upcoming four way but stop to make fun of Kofi for wearing the new Steph Curry shoes, which apparently look old. Kofi: “These shoes are hot on the streets!” Woods: “What streets? The streets of Greenwich, Connecticut?” Kofi: “Those are some mean streets.” They promise to keep the titles but here are Enzo and Big Cass to interrupt.
Cass says they’re going all in on Sunday and walking out with the titles. He implies that the unicorn horns are made for her pleasure and asks if Kofi is serious with the Jerry Seinfeld shoes. After New Day makes fun of the shoes as well, Cass wants to talk about Francesca. Woods: “That’s my girl.” Cass: “Well where was your girl last night?” Apparently she was with Enzo, who had his lips all over her like Satchmo.
Woods gets very serious and says he’s the only one who blows his girl. Kofi introduces the verbal joust of wits between New Day and Enzo/Big Cass but the Vaudevillains interrupt. English sings about how the new era but Anderson and Gallows cut them off. Gallows makes fun of the New Orleans Saints so Cass calls them S-A-W-F-T.
New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club/Vaudevillains
This is joined in progress with Kofi working over Gotch before bringing in Big E. for the Unicorn Stampede. Cass throws in some elbows before Enzo tags himself in so Cass can throw him at Gotch. English shoves Gotch out of the way of a high cross body, only to have Gotch run Amore over. It’s time for Enzo to take a beating as all of the villains take a shot at him. English gets kicked out to the floor though and a kick to the chest is enough for the hot tag off to Cass as everything breaks down. Kofi dives on everyone and we take a break.
Back with Big E. in trouble but countering a sunset flip and dropping Gotch with an elbow to the jaw. Gallows gets in a clothesline though and Big E. is in trouble again. The Vaudevillains chop away before it’s off to Karl for a kick to the face in the corner. Big E. gets in a shot to the ribs though and it’s off to Kofi as things speed up again. A high cross body gets two on Anderson as Enzo and Gotch are sent out to the floor. English does the same to Cass, only to have Big E. LAUNCH him with a belly to belly. Gallows comes in off a blind tag and the Magic Killer puts Kingston away at 13:26.
Rating: C+. That break in the middle hurt this a lot as it felt like nothing more than a way to fill in time rather than something that the match actually needed. That being said, Kofi was on fire here, which is why he just had to take the pin. Big E. or Enzo were available, though they were smart to keep Cass looking strong as he’s possibly the biggest prospect in the whole match.
We look back at the debut of the Shield at Survivor Series 2012 to help set up the Ambrose Asylum later tonight.
Bob Backlund/Darren Young segment from Smackdown with Backlund telling him to save money, including only having one pair of clothes.
Shane and Stephanie are bickering over who should run Raw and/or Smackdown when Kane comes in to offer his services. He has a resume and a letter of recommendation from Undertaker so Stephanie lets Shane handle this one.
Zack Ryder is laughing with some random people about Apollo Crews knocking Sheamus down on Smackdown. Sheamus comes in and says he’ll beat Ryder up tonight, just like he’ll do to Crews on Sunday. Ryder says hi to Crews…..who isn’t there, allowing Ryder to run away like any former United States and Intercontinental Champion would do.
Clip of Shield’s face turn.
The Shining Stars brag about Puerto Rico’s water. How is this supposed to make money?
Titus O’Neil comes out for a match but Rusev jumps him from behind and beats him down on the stage. The referees have to come out and break the Accolade.
Clip of Shield breaking up. So to recap: they arrived, they turned face, and they split with nothing in between.
It’s time for the Ambrose Asylum with special guests Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. Before they come out though, Ambrose says he feels like he’s just woken up from a coma because this Sunday feels like Wrestlemania. There are two major matches and we’re focusing on one of them here. Therefore, let’s bring out his first guest, the scum of the Earth, Seth Rollins.
Reigns is brought out as well and we get the big visual of the three of them standing there. Ambrose: “This is great huh?” He asks Rollins about the knee and Rollins is stunned that Ambrose hasn’t watched his special on the WWE Network (he should because it’s awesome). Dean thinks Seth’s face must be hurt because it’s killing him. Reigns on the other hand had a great time on Bourbon Street last night.
Dean wants Rollins to calm down and stop being a party pooper. After the party pooper chant dies off, Rollins lists off some fun moments they’ve had like Wrestlemania XXX, flying in on a helicopter to fight Undertaker and HELL NO in London and finding Dean unconscious next to a dumpster in…..what town was that? Seth brings up the matches against Evolution and we get a BLUETISTA chant.
Rollins gets to the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in and violence starts boiling over. Dean breaks it up and says Reigns beat Ambrose for that title in the first place. Yeah Reigns accomplished a lot in Rollins’ absence but he’s never beaten Seth one on one. Rollins rants about how he’s going to get the title back on his own but Dean laughs the idea off. Reigns actually says Rollins is right because it’s going to be one on one Sunday and then they’ll call him the guy because he beat Seth. Dean asks the fans which one it’s going to be but offers a third option: he wins the Money in the Bank contract and cashes in on either of them.
The music plays and the brawl is on with Reigns throwing Dean away so he can beat Seth up himself. That earns Seth a Superman Punch but Dean gives Reigns Dirty Deeds because that’s what friends do to each other. Ambrose looks up at the briefcase and the fans seem to like the idea.
Back from a break and Stephanie makes Ambrose vs. Jericho for the main event. Over the weekend I made a comment about how Smackdown is worthless because the matches mean nothing and there’s a good chance that they’ll just repeat a match on Monday anyway and I had a feeling it would be this one because it’s the one that didn’t need to happen again.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Natalya and Becky Lynch are at ringside. Non-title and the second match of the show starts an hour and twenty one minutes in. Paige runs her over with a knee to start but gets small packaged for two. Charlotte yells at Natalya and walks into the Rampaige for the pin at 2:31. I’m not even going to bother getting mad about this.
Cesaro is about to talk about Money in the Bank when Sami Zayn comes in to give the real answers. Cesaro is ticked off and says Sami is acting like a child but Sami says Cesaro can’t talk down to him like this. Apparently they’re in the same match tonight so Cesaro says he’ll see him out there.
Charlotte yells at Dana for failing and implies that Dana is her assistant. Dana is of course mad but Charlotte says her payment is to be part of Charlotte’s legacy.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
This is the second match in a row with no entrances, likely for the sake of more backstage stuff. Sheamus attacks early to start but gets caught by a quick dropkick and the Broski Boot. The Elbro gets two but the Rough Ryder is easily blocked. The Brogue Kick puts Ryder away at 1:53.
Sheamus beats him up even more until Crews runs out for the save.
We get a video of Kane winning Money in the Bank in 2010 and cashing in the same night.
Kevin Owens interrupts Kane and Shane’s talk but he wants to talk to Stephanie. Apparently Alberto Del Rio just arrived twenty minutes ago and should be taken out of the Money in the Bank match as a punishment. Del Rio, already in his gear, comes in to blame Owens for calling airport security to get him delayed for five hours. They start yelling in Spanish and French until Kane cuts them off with an idea. How about a tag match against the Lucha Dragons with the winners getting the spot in the ladder match? Shane likes the idea and makes the match.
Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro
Feeling out process to start with Cesaro nipping up out of a wristlock but getting armdragged right back down. A nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Sami for and Cesaro sends him into the post as we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting a corner uppercut and stomping on Sami’s chest for two. A quick Michinoku Driver gets two for Sami but he takes too long going to the top, allowing Cesaro to power through the apron superplex for another near fall. Back up and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two, followed by the sunset bomb for…..actually for three on Cesaro at 8:06.
Rating: C+. That’s one of the few booking ideas I’ve seen tonight that I really like. Sami (and a lot of other people) have those big moves that never win anything so it’s a really good idea to have one get a pin every now and then to make you believe that it could get another one later. The loss doesn’t hurt Cesaro either as none of these wins really mean anything heading into the big gimmick match.
It’s time for the contract signing between John Cena and AJ Styles as moderated by Michael Cole. Cena hypes up Money in the Bank as a show bigger than Wrestlemania with a match fifteen years in the making. For years, the WWE bosses had told AJ Styles that he didn’t belong here. That’s nonsense because from PWG to New Japan to Ring of Honor, AJ Styles has been the best everywhere he’s gone. Sidebar: Is there any real reason why they won’t say TNA? Ring of Honor is arguably bigger and New Japan is definitely bigger but TNA isn’t allowed? Unless there’s some legal reason, I see no logical justification for not saying it.
Anyway Cena tells Cole to leave because this is going to get rowdy. AJ comes out and says he’s turned Cena’s world upside down. Cena agrees that it’s been done but there’s something up his sleeve. There are two contracts here, one of which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles and the other which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles w/The Club. Cena would love to sign the first one so we can have one heck of a fight on Sunday but if they sign the second one, AJ will win on Sunday and then start complaining the very next night when he doesn’t get the same respect.
AJ thinks Cena is so confident because of all the things he’s won but Styles wants to know what would have happened if AJ had been here fifteen years ago. My guess is not much because he still would have been a nothing tag guy but I get his point. AJ says he would have been the one on the covers of magazines and in all the movies. Cena cuts him off and says he’s heard this before and AJ doesn’t get it because he has the chance to prove it on Sunday.
AJ can sign one contract and prove how great he is or sign the other one and be put on a bullet train back to Japan because that’s where he left his balls. AJ grabs a pen and looks at the contracts before signing the one on one version. Styles says after Sunday, Cena’s time is up. As usual, this was AWESOME stuff.
We see Randy Orton winning Money in the Bank in 2013 and cashing in on Daniel Bryan at Summerslam.
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio vs. Lucha Dragons
The winners are in Money in the Bank. Del Rio beats on Kalisto to start before it’s off to Owens who isn’t happy with the way Alberto is acting, only to calm down at the threat of a DQ. Owens teases walking out but comes back in when Alberto is rolled up for two. Kevin and Alberto get in a shoving match and get dropkicked to the floor, setting up a double dive from the Dragons as we take a break.
Back with Kalisto eating a clothesline but Del Rio won’t tag out. Owens and Alberto get in another argument, allowing Kalisto to hit a quick Salida Del Sol to send Del Rio outside. Kevin throws his partner back in and it’s off to Sin Cara for the Swanton, only to have Owens breaks it up at two. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Cara at 8:15.
Rating: C. I liked the idea of having something on the line here. Of course it wasn’t going to happen but it was nice to have a reason to care about the match. The Dragons are just so nothing these days and it’s sad to see the promise that Kalisto showed wasted as much as it has been.
Del Rio superkicks Owens post match.
Back from a break with Owens telling Stephanie that Sami Zayn is going to be on commentary for the main event. Stephanie is furious because that’s something so horrible so she makes Owens a commentator as well. Del Rio comes in and says he wants to be out there too so Stephanie makes him guest timekeeper.
Stephanie yells at Shane about his decisions so Shane makes Cesaro guest ring announcer. On another note, Kane isn’t getting the job running Smackdown. Kane comes in and asks if this is about electrocuting Shane’s testicles with a car batters. Shane tells Stephanie they’ll keep running Raw but he’ll run Smackdown on his own. This is getting old in a hurry and it’s only going to get worse.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
All of the other Money in the Bank participants are at ringside. Dean chops him down to start and scores with a quick suplex. Jericho is sent to the floor for a suicide dive before Dean knocks Owens’ headset off. Back in and Dean flips out of a Walls attempt but eats an enziguri. The corner dropkick puts Dean on the floor and it’s time for the announcers, timekeeper and ring announcer to stare at each other.
We come back from a break with Dean fighting out of a chinlock. Some clotheslines stun Jericho but he counters the top rope standing elbow drop into the Walls. Owens: “I taught him that!” Dean grabs the ropes but can’t get Dirty Deeds. Instead Jericho takes him down for two off the Lionsault, only to have Dean get up top for the elbow.
Byron asks how Kevin would handle not winning Sunday. Owens: “I would handle it the same way: I would come out here and slap your face.” Dean tries to put on the Walls but settles for a catapult out to the apron. Jericho runs to the top but dives into a kick, only to have the Codebreaker countered into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 11:58.
Rating: C. This would be the standard reversal of the match we saw on Smackdown because that’s what Smackdown is for: a dry run for the following Raw without any mention of the first match. It doesn’t help that these two have fought WAY too many times and it’s getting less and less interesting every single time.
Everyone brawls after the match with Owens bringing in a ladder, only to have Sami flip dive off the top onto the pile of people. Jericho wasn’t in that group though and goes up the ladder to pull down the briefcase to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling (and lack thereof at times) brings down what was an otherwise very strong show with two excellent talking segments. I’m more invested in the pay per view than I was coming in and that’s the point of a go home show. The Cena vs. AJ stuff was excellent as Cena is still the best hard seller in the business and the Shield segment made things feel more personal, especially with Dean at the end to add some flavor. As has been the case so many times, if this was a two hour show, it would have been one of the best in a long time. As it is though, it’s still good enough.
Results
The Club/Vaudevillains b. New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Kingston
Paige b. Charlotte – Rampaige
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder – Brogue Kick
Sami Zayn b. Cesaro – Sunset Bomb
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio b. Lucha Dragons – Pop Up Powerbomb to Cara
Dean Ambrose b. Chris Jericho – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Smackdown Date: June 9, 2016
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mauro Ranallo, Byron Saxton
We’re pretty much at business as usual here as Money in the Bank is a week from Sunday and most of the big stories are starting to round into form. AJ Styles is going after John Cena, the Tag Team Titles are in a big mess of a match and we’ll see yet another combination of the six Money in the Bank participants tonight because just having them be announced over time isn’t an option for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the Club to get things going. AJ talks about how this Money in the Bank may be the best ever with the Club winning the Tag Team Titles and AJ himself taking care of John Cena. For ten years it’s been the John Cena Era and the New Era can’t really get started until he takes Cena out. When he came to WWE in the first place, he made it clear that the Club was a package deal. The Club has transcended countries, continents and companies. As for Cena, you can’t beat him.
Cue Enzo and Big Cass with the latter reminding AJ that there are two other teams going after the Tag Team Titles. The Mr. Clean Dream Team isn’t taking those belts but Karl says they’ve been traveling the world for ten years while Enzo was managing a Hooters. Enzo basically says “Well yeah. What’s wrong with that?” before saying the Club has wrestled everywhere but Antarctica.
Enzo would love to walk a mile in Karl’s shoes because then he’d be a mile away from him. The last time Enzo and Cass had a big match, Enzo fell asleep on the job. Enzo thinks that makes them a couple of haters so in Vegas, money will talk and money will walk. That makes Anderson and Gallows S-A-W-F-T.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson/Luke Gallows
New Day is on commentary with Woods eating BootyO’s and Big E. holding a broom. Anderson runs Cass over a few times to start before it’s off to Gallows for a big boot. For some reason this makes New Day talk about pasta. The Enzo beating continues as Kofi puts Byron on grape duty, meaning he has to feed Kofi grapes on demand. Anderson throws him down to stop a tag attempt, making Kofi think Enzo should switch to Alfredo instead of the marinara.
Big E. does his nerdy commentator voice as Enzo Stuns Anderson over the top rope. A diving tag attempt is stopped by a running boot to the head as the Vaudevillains come out to watch. Back from a break with Gallows suplexing Enzo for two as the fans chant for Cass. Amore punches away but is shoved away, only to get caught by the jumping DDT. Now it’s the hot tag to Cass as house is quickly cleaned. A very big boot puts Gallows on the floor as New Day gets up to cut off the Vaudevillains. They all get in the ring and that’s a no contest at 10:54.
Rating: C. Cass continues to look like the biggest star out of all these guys and that big boot was awesome. I really can’t imagine the New Day keeps the titles after Money in the Bank and the Club would be the logical way to go with the belts. Enzo and Cass are hot right now though and you would have to expect Cass to get a big singles push soon.
Enzo and Cass clear the ring post match.
We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho, who will be facing each other tonight, focusing on the battle over the talk shows.
Muhammad Ali tribute.
The announcers talk about the Money in the Bank card.
Lana and Rusev aren’t worried about Titus O’Neil because Rusev is the real greatest of all time instead of Muhammad Ali. Titus comes in and says he’ll take the title at Money in the Bank by floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Cesaro/Sami Zayn vs. Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens
Sami and Owens start things off with Zayn spinning him around and sending him into the corner for a tag off to Del Rio. That’s fine with Alberto who kicks Sami’s leg out but lets the tag bring in Cesaro. Alberto takes over and asks Owens for a tag but Kevin says Del Rio is doing fine by himself and walks out. Sami chases him up the ramp so we’re down to a singles match.
A shot to the back puts Del Rio on the floor and it’s time for a break. Back with Del Rio getting two off a Backstabber. We hit the chinlock but Cesaro is up in less than five seconds. Well he’s certainly not lazy at least. Cesaro muscles him up into a suplex as Sami and Kevin fight back down the aisle. Del Rio isn’t cool with Owens walking out on him and now it’s Alberto walking out. Owens won’t let that happen so Sami dives over the top to take him out, leaving Cesaro to suplex Del Rio on the floor.
Back in and Del Rio starts in on the arm but can’t get the armbreaker. Everything breaks down and Swiss Death drops Del Rio again. Owens and Zayn are sent outside again, leaving Del Rio to take the Swing. Owens breaks up the Sharpshooter and crotches Cesaro on top, setting up the top rope double stomp from Del Rio, only to have Owens throw his partner out and steal the pin at 13:29.
Rating: C+. I’m normally not a fan of the way the build towards Money in the Bank goes but this was kind of a creative way to do more than just another tag match. I’m sure we’ll see something else like that next week because there’s almost no way around seeing those matches over and over but at least this was something fresher. The wrestling is all fine and having only six people keeps the match from being such a mess but a change to the build could be an improvement.
We look at Jericho destroying Mitch.
Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya and Charlotte are at ringside. Dana immediately bails to the ropes but Becky snaps off some armdrags to send her outside. Back in and Lynch misses a charge, allowing Charlotte to get in a forearm like a good heel should. Becky comes back with a kick to the ribs but she has to go after Charlotte, triggering a brawl between Charlotte and Natalya on the floor. That earns them both an ejection, leaving Becky to make Dana tap with the Disarm-Her at 3:04.
Rating: C-. You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to them actually announcing the women’s match for the pay per view. I’m assuming it’s going to be a fatal fourway or a non-title tag match (which actually fits for a change) but anything is better than another Natalya title shot. Whatever gets us past this and on to Sasha FINALLY getting her title shot would be a good idea though.
Bob Backlund asks to see Darren Young’s victory celebration. Young starts doing the Millions of Dollars dance but Bob tells him to bring it back down to earth. Backlund tells him to save money, which Darren interprets as not going to the movies and no popcorn. Darren asks how Bob saves so much money, which apparently is all about wearing only one set of clothes. Young agrees to cut down on the shopping. Backlund: “How do you feel about a bow tie?”
Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto
Dolph Ziggler is on commentary because this thing just won’t die. Kalisto is still listed as one half of the Lucha Dragons despite them almost never teaming together anymore. Some quick kicks put Corbin on the floor to start but he shrugs off even more kicks and tosses Kalisto onto the barricade to take over.
We get the staredown with Ziggler, who says he’d love to take off his jeggings and get right in there. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Kalisto for a bit before he comes back with the corkscrew cross body. The headscissors driver gets two but Corbin just blasts him in the back of the head. End of Days puts Kalisto away at 3:45.
Rating: C. You can definitely add Kalisto to the long list of people who started fast until the company got bored with him and threw him to the side for their new favorite toy. The match was your normal boring stuff as Ziggler vs. Corbin is a feud that needed to wrap up two months ago but for some reason the thing just keeps going.
We look at Ambrose ripping up Jericho’s jacket. This feud really isn’t big enough to warrant this kind of attention.
Another chat about AJ Styles vs. John Cena with Lawler telling a story about having to face the top ten contenders in order to get a shot at NWA World Champion Jack Brisco. Why can’t we hear those stories more often?
Sheamus brags about the success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Zack Ryder/Golden Truth aren’t all that impressed. Apollo Crews (Remember him?) comes in and Sheamus suggests that Crews get him a latte. Sheamus gets knocked through some well placed boxes.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
Ranallo says this is the first time these two have ever fought on Smackdown. Why is that supposed to be something interesting or appealing? I’ve never gotten that concept. Jericho shouts about the thumb tacks Dean put into his back and the chase is on outside. Back in and Dean strikes away, only to get clotheslined down. That means it’s time to yell about the tacks even more but a clothesline puts Jericho outside for the suicide shove.
Dean loads up the announcers’ table for Dirty Deeds but gets catapulted onto the floor for a big crash as we take a break. Back with Jericho suplexing him for an arrogant two, followed by the chinlock. Dean’s comeback is stopped with a clothesline and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Another comeback attempt works a bit better as Dean scores with a clothesline and elbows but Dirty Deeds is countered into a failed Walls attempt.
Jericho dives into a forearm to the jaw for two but comes back with a middle rope enziguri (looked like a missed dropkick) for two of his own. Dean breaks up a superplex attempt and grabs la majistral for two more before both guys collide to put them down. The Codebreaker and Dirty Deeds are broken up but Dean has to stop himself from running into the referee, allowing Jericho to grab a one legged Codebreaker for the pin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. Well so much for Dean’s hot streak. The match was fine but that cage match destroyed a lot of my interest in this feud. Jericho only has so much interest these days and it makes sense to have him win a match here or there since he has almost no chance of winning the ladder match. Then again that’s what people were saying before he fought AJ at Wrestlemania.
Post match Jericho grabs a ladder but gets sent face first into it for his efforts. The standing elbow drop from the ladder crushes Jericho to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Totally run of the mill Smackdown here as it was missing most of what I liked about the show last week. Most of the Money in the Bank card (which is looking stacked) is set so this was a bunch of supplemental material. To be fair though, we’re five weeks away from the end of Smackdown before it gets turned into something new, which hopefully turns the thing around for a change.
Results
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson went to a no contest when New Day and the Vaudevillains interfered
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio b. Sami Zayn/Cesaro – Top rope double stomp to Cesaro
Becky Lynch b. Dana Brooke – Disarm-Her
Baron Corbin b. Kalisto – End of Days
Chris Jericho b. Dean Ambrose – Codebreaker
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Monday Night Raw – May 23, 2016: Crying All The Way To The Bank
Monday Night Raw Date: May 23, 2016
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Extreme Rules and now on to Money in the Bank season, meaning we might start tonight with some qualifying matches. However, the bigger story coming out of last night is the return of Seth Rollins, who attacked WWE World Champion Roman Reigns after Reigns retained over AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event and Rollins making his return.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Seth to get things going, complete with a new graphic that says “Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim.” He certainly looks like a face to start though I wouldn’t put money on that one. Rollins gets a nice WELCOME BACK chant before smiling at the crowd and saying it’s been 200 days since he’s been in this ring. In case you’ve been living under a rock (or in case you’re really not paying attention), he’s back. He’s here to get back the title that he never lost and last night he fired the first shot with the Pedigree on Reigns.
The fans keep freaking out so Rollins asks if they missed him. Fans: “YES! YES! YES!” Rollins brings up some of the dastardly things he’s done over the years and about how the fans didn’t buy him by calling him a coward who hid behind the Authority. Then his knee went out from all the weight of carrying this company. Over the last few months he’s gotten so many fan letters but he put every one of them in a garbage can and set them on fire.
None of these fans were here with him when he was rehabbing his knee twice a day. Now he’s back on his own to get the title back but here’s Reigns to interrupt. Rollins of course bails and says it’s happening on his time. This brings out Shane to invite Rollins back inside for an adult conversation. This conversation consists of Shane making Roman vs. Seth for the title at Money in the Bank.
Sheamus talks about how much he can’t stand Sami Zayn and this New Era. Tonight he’s going to give Sami a beating for all the people who are sick of this foreigner coming in with his stupid hat. Nothing wrong with a simple, old school pre-match promo.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Sami Zayn
Sheamus takes him down into a wristlock to start, followed by a legdrop of all things. Sami sends it outside with a hurricanrana, only to have Sheamus put a knee in his ribs to send us to a break. Back with Sheamus getting two off the Irish Curse but Sami BLASTS him with a clothesline and gets two off the Michinoku Driver. The Brogue Kick misses and Sami clotheslines him to the floor, only to have the flip dive blocked by a forearm. Sheamus gets back in and eats a quick Helluva Kick for the pin at 10:00.
Rating: C. Well that’s a pleasant surprise, even though there was little doubt that Sami was going to win here. Sami winning is a good option as he’s the epitome of someone who you believe could pull off the big surprise, even though he’s likely only there to take big bumps and sell like no one else can.
Post match Sheamus is furious.
After a break, Apollo Crews is talking about how this is the biggest match of his life when Sheamus jumps him from behind and lays him out.
Here’s New Day for a six man tag and they’ve got a birthday cake. Tonight is the 1,200th episode of Monday Night Raw and that means it’s time to celebrate. However, since cakes in wrestling rings always end up in someone’s face, Big E. picks up the cake and takes it outside to get things out of the way. As he threatens Byron Saxton, cue the Social Outcasts to jump New Day from behind and take us to a break.
New Day vs. Social Outcasts
Joined in progress with Kofi hurricanranaing Slater out of the corner and stomping him down in the corner. Slater is sent to the floor for a Bo Train but Heath collapses, leaving the other two to take a flip dive from Woods. The Midnight Hour puts Slater away at 2:00.
Slater takes the cake post match.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. The Miz
Non-title. Before the match, Miz and Maryse celebrate their win and promise to win the briefcase again, setting up Miz’s biopic. Cesaro starts fast with the uppercuts in the corner for two before diving over the top to take Miz out again. He even tells Maryse to talk to the hand, taking us back to about 1997.
Back in and Cesaro gets two more off a delayed suplex to send Miz outside as we take a break. We come back with Miz hitting the Reality Check but charging into the uppercut. The Swing doesn’t work because of the shoulder but Miz can’t hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Instead it’s another uppercut and the Neutralizer for the pin on Miz (of course) at 11:24.
Rating: C+. Yo Miz! Thanks for stealing the show last night. Here’s a clean loss to the guy that made you tap out last night. I’m getting to the point where I can’t even complain about these losses anymore. They’re just a fact of life in WWE and nothing is going to change that because WWE doesn’t know any better.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins talks about how Money in the Bank is his thing when Stephanie comes in. Rollins is all nice to her but she says things have changed around here.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Chris Jericho vs. Apollo Crews
Crews seems just fine after the beatdown earlier tonight while Jericho’s back is covered in bandages from the thumbtacks. Jericho throws a t-shirt in Crews’ face to start and hammers away, only to have Crews just hit him in the bandages because Crews has an IQ above butter. Jericho’s dropkick and chinlock don’t do much as Apollo elbows him in the jaw and avoids the dropkick out of the corner to send Jericho outside.
There’s a moonsault from the apron (mostly missed) to drop Jericho again but Jericho counters the toss powerbomb into the Walls. A rope is grabbed and Crews tries to nip up, only to have Jericho Lionsault onto him for two. Another Walls attempt is countered into a small package, only to have the Codebreaker puts Apollo away at 7:46.
Rating: C+. I’m so glad they brought Crews up for this spot. It’s not like they have a small army of people who can take this loss and not lose a thing as a result. The match was fine, even though Crews didn’t sell a thing from the beatdown earlier. He can’t even hold his back or something? Jericho going to the ladder match is fine but Crews is already looking like another failed call up.
Sheamus laughs at the result.
Life Lesson with Bob Backlund from Smackdown.
Baron Corbin beat Dolph Ziggler last night because he can. This brings in Ziggler, to say Corbin can’t beat him in a straight match. Corbin agrees but doesn’t want to see Ziggler again after. Ziggler promises to steal the show tonight.
Here’s Big Cass, who points to the entrance for the returning Enzo Amore. Enzo is VERY fired up to be back and talks about how he’s back because if he had a dime for every time he got knocked down and didn’t get back up, he would have ZERO DIMES. Cass is ready to kick Bubba Ray Dudley in the head and send him into a pool like a basketball.
Big Cass vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Feeling out process to start until D-Von goes after Enzo, allowing Bubba to get in a belly to back suplex. He spends too much time shouting though, allowing Cass to take over with a clothesline. A Stinger Splash has Bubba in trouble and we keep up the Sting treatment with Cass slamming him off the top. Cass’ big boot and the empire Elbow put Bubba away at 3:11.
Rating: D. Now this is the kind of thing they need to be doing. Enzo is fine as the guy that gets in trouble so Cass can come in and clean house later on. Enzo can be in a match here or there and that’s fine, but the last few weeks have shown that Cass is the real star of the team and the guy who could get one heck of a push.
Here are Charlotte, Ric Flair and Dana Brooke to talk about their win last night. Ric….oh my goodness he is BOMBED. Anyway, Ric talks about how Charlotte has earned her way to the top and been amazing at everything she’s done. As for Dana, she doesn’t exist without Charlotte, which Dana seems to agree with. Charlotte talks about how her dad was never there for her on Christmas and birthdays because Flair was off being the man. Now Charlotte gets it though because now she’s the woman.
That power makes her be able to say it to him: get out of her ring. Charlotte goes on a rant about how she doesn’t need her dad anymore and how she’s going to be better than the sixteen time World Champion has ever been. She’s tired of having everyone look at her and ask how Ric is doing so now he is dead to her. Charlotte doesn’t want to talk and tells Ric to get out because he can watch her on TV like she did with him for thirty years. Ric leaves in tears while Charlotte and Dana pose. Charlotte still needs practice talking but this worked exactly as it was supposed to.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler headlocks him to the mat to start but Dean slams him with ease and throws Dolph out to the floor. The dive doesn’t get to launch as Ziggler steps to the side as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting butterfly superplexed for two but missing a dive. Dean’s top rope elbow is countered into a rollup for two, followed by the Fameasser for the same.
Both guys try cross bodies at the same time and we get a quick breather. Dean gets superkicked to little effect as he bounces off the ropes with the rebound lariat for two. Ambrose goes for the elbow again but gets dropkicked out of the air this time. The Zig Zag is countered though and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the ladder match at 12:09.
Rating: B-. Dean winning a bunch of matches in a row is the way to help him get over the Lesnar loss, as well as keep him from looking like such a big loser in general. Ziggler losing is fine and I’m glad it was clean, though I would have been fine with Corbin interfering to cost him the match.
Ric is leaving and even Arn Anderson can’t make him feel better. Renee Young asks if he has anything to say but Ric gives a very sad forced smile and leaves. That was one of the best scenes I’ve seen in wrestling in a long time. Ric genuinely looked devastated and had nothing to say. It was quiet, it was emotional and it felt real.
The Shining Stars want us to visit Puerto Rico.
Here’s AJ Styles with something to say before his match. AJ talks about how he would have been WWE Champion if not for Anderson and Gallows. This brings the big balds to the ring, where they question what he just said. AJ didn’t bring these guys to the WWE to take out everyone in his way but the way they see it, if this was in Japan, Styles would have been buying them a round of drinks after what happened last night.
AJ thinks it’s time for them to go their separate ways but Anderson and Gallows suggest that AJ never would have made it out of Japan (or a bunch of bar fights for that matter) without them. Styles says they’re still brothers and friends but not on the same team. Gallows says no way because they’re not even friends anymore. That seems to be fine with AJ as the two of them leave.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
They slug it out to start until Owens grabs a headlock (“HEADLOCK MASTER!”), only to eat a good dropkick for two. Owens gets in a dropkick of his own but AJ bails to the apron. AJ is pulled face first into the apron with Owens heading back inside but rolling under the ropes instead of diving over the top like he was teasing. As usual he’s the best troll in wrestling.
Back from a break with AJ fighting out of a sleeper and hammering away on the floor. They slug it out inside with AJ getting the better of it, only to be pulled off the ropes and sent into the corner with a German suplex. The Cannonball is followed by Owens telling Cole to shut up but AJ gets in a jumping enziguri. That’s fine with Owens who comes back with his brainbuster onto the knee for two but misses the moonsault.
AJ sends him outside and knees him in the jaw, only to eat the Pop Up Powerbomb onto the steps. Somehow AJ beats the count back in (that’s a bit much) and gets in a quick Pele. He really shouldn’t be up that fast after a finisher onto the steps but finishers haven’t meant anything in WWE in forever. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up though and the Pop Up Powerbomb gives Owens the pin at 16:20.
Rating: B. That was quite the surprise as I was thinking they might go to a double countout to send both guys in instead. Owens certainly deserves the spot and I would LOVE to see what he could do as a Mr. Money in the Bank. Good match here, but would you have expected anything else from these two?
Overall Rating: B-. This was a wrestling focused episode that actually moved some stuff forward. It’s always a nice sign and a good idea to have a fresh set of stories that give fans things they’ve been wanting, save for ANYONE else as the top face of course. I was really liking Charlotte turning on Ric as it’s long overdue and also a well done segment. The show being all about wrestling helped a lot though, as did the extreme lack of McMahons. It was about moving things forward and the show went by quickly as a result. Good stuff here and I’m glad they went this way for a change.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Sheamus – Helluva Kick
New Day b. Social Outcasts – Midnight Hour to Slater
Cesaro b. The Miz – Neutralizer
Chris Jericho b. Apollo Crews – Codebreaker
Big Cass b. Bubba Ray Dudley – Empire Elbow
Dean Ambrose b. Dolph Ziggler – Dirty Deeds
Kevin Owens b. AJ Styles – Pop Up Powerbomb
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Smackdown – May 19, 2016: Please Let It End On Sunday
Smackdown Date: May 19, 2016
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton
It’s the final show before Extreme Rules and this past Monday wasn’t exactly the strongest episode of Raw in recent memory. The stories are starting to run out of steam and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Odds are tonight is going to be about the Intercontinental and WWE World Title stories, which could go a few different ways each. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on Monday’s oddball tag match and makes sure to show Shane and Stephanie setting it up in case you’re stupid enough to think these matches are just happening.
Opening sequence.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Miz, Maryse and Sami Zayn are on commentary. Miz gets right to the point and says tonight’s MizTV is canceled. It never ceases to amaze me that they feel the need to change plans from Monday to Tuesday. They slug it out to start as Miz and Sami bicker about Miz constantly getting beaten up. Since this is WWE, the camera keeps cutting to the announcers’ table so we can see them arguing, completely defeating the point of them being on commentary.
Cesaro dropkicks him out to the floor, followed by some chops. Back inside and Cesaro stops for a quick Rumba. I mean of course that’s just a guess as I can’t see what he’s doing because we’re looking at the announcers’ table again but it’s my best guess. Owens bails from the threat of a European uppercut so Cesaro follows him out for the running version up against the barricade. Maryse offers a distraction and Owens knocks Cesaro into the table and then whips him into the steps for a bonus.
Owens mocks Miz’s flapping arms and drops a backsplash for two (Owens: “HOW IS MY CLOSEUP?”). Maryse yells at Sami in French, forgetting that he’s from Montreal. Another backsplash hits raised knees because you can’t hit the same spot twice (makes sense in theory, though Cesaro should have known that the first one was coming given how Owens uses it in every match) but Owens sends him into the corner for the Cannonball.
Back from a break with another shot of the commentary team showing Miz and Maryse kissing. Cesaro fires in an uppercut to break up the frog splash and grabbing a gutwrench superplex to put both guys down. A high cross body gets two for Cesaro as the wrestlers on commentary actually start paying attention and breaking down the match. The Swing doesn’t work though and Owens bails to the floor, only to have him blast Sami in the face.
Cesaro flips off the apron to take out Owens before punching Miz in the face. Back in and Cesaro’s eats a superkick for two but Sami comes in, only to have Cesaro punch him in the face, either over the Helluva Kick last week or to prevent a DQ. The distraction lets Owens get in a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 14:48.
Rating: B-. I’m really digging the idea they’re going with here and it’s actually turned into a four way feud instead of two guys feuding and the other two just being there on the side. I’m actually not sure who walks out with the title on Sunday and it would seem that there are multiple ways to go after the match is over. That’s a hard thing to pull off but they’ve managed to do it with four talented guys doing what they’re supposed to do.
Post match Sami gives Cesaro the Helluva Kick but takes the Skull Crushing Finale.
Paige vs. Dana Brooke
Becky Lynch is on commentary and says her eye injury is the worst thing she’s ever had because the double vision means she has to see Dana twice. Paige knees her in the face to start as we hear about Becky fighting Paige’s mom over in the UK. Dana trips Paige up though and we hit a leg scissors back inside. Becky thinks she should be named Becky Balboa because she keeps getting up like Rocky. Some kicks and knees stagger Dana but she grabs a Samoan Driver for the upset pin at 3:16.
Rating: D+. Dana looked better here but that might be due to how short the match was, which always helps things out a little bit. Brooke has a great look and a lot of potential but she just needs more time in the ring, preferably down in developmental. She’s just been called up too early to be on her own, which to be fair wasn’t the plan until a few days ago. That being said, what the heck has happened to Paige? She’s gone from the top of the division to absolutely nothing in no time. I really don’t get it.
Lana, with that accent dying faster than Paige’s push, says Kalisto is hiding behind his mask and that Rusev is the greatest champion of all time. Rusev says the chant will be MACHKA MACHKA MACHKA.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
It feels like we haven’t seen Sheamus in a long time. Ziggler is shoved around to start before coming back with knees and right hands in the corner. A hard ax handle to the face drops Ziggler though and we take a break. Back with another ax handle blasting Dolph in the face before his superkick is countered with an elbow to the knee.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Ziggler fights up and gets in a Fameasser for a near fall. The neckbreaker is broken up though and Sheamus gets two off the Irish Curse. Back up and the Zig Zag is countered but Sheamus misses a charge, setting up a superkick to give Dolph the fluke pin at 10:48.
Rating: C-. Sheamus has just died since the League split up. I had forgotten that he was around for a bit as he was only in the battle royal recently and then hadn’t been seen since. Ziggler vs. Corbin isn’t much better though as I have no idea why they’re feuding, especially since Corbin should have won in the first place but we need to give Ziggler a fluke win instead.
Corbin comes out to say he’ll hurt Ziggler on Sunday.
The Asylum cage is lowered and here’s Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho demands quiet by saying QUIET over and over before pointing out the cage hanging above us. Well to be fair no one noticed the cage hanging above the ring on Raw until Ambrose pointed it out so that was kind of necessary. Jericho lists off all of the matches that he’s been in over the years and admits that he’s never been in an Asylum match because there’s never been one. However that means Ambrose hasn’t been in one either, meaning Jericho has the advantage because he’s smarter and crazier.
Jericho asks that the cage be lowered as he talks about how he put Dean in the hospital with a twenty pound plant. Looking up, Jericho adds up the days he can put Dean in the hospital by using all of these weapons, which he sees as at least forty days. That’s not counting all the mental anguish that goes with it, but above all else, Dean is receiving the Gift of Jericho. As the crowd drinks it in, a production worker comes in and of course it’s Dean, who beats Jericho down with a kendo stick to send him running off. Guys in costumes are always an effective idea so this was fine.
And now, a life lesson with Bob Backlund. Bob talks about how Darren should be able to memorize these things and demands that he recite the Presidents of the United States in order. Young: “Coach no one can do that.” Backlund: “Washington, Adams, Jefferson….” Young swears a bit and Backlund LOSES IT, saying that no one needs that kind of language and demands 200 jumping jacks because Young needs to be great in the ring. These are really funny bits and I’m sure that Young in front of a blue background and Backlund in front of a red one is coincidental.
Big Cass/New Day vs. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains
The announcers are flat out saying that Cass has been doing better since Enzo has been gone. During the entrances, we see the Vaudevillains destroying the time machine, which messes up the announcers’ audio for some reason. D-Von and Big E. get things going with the latter getting two off a belly to belly. Byron’s audio is still barely audible as D-Von runs Kofi over and brings in Bubba, who misses a splash attempt. It’s time for the Unicorn Stampede before a big staredown takes us to a break.
Back with Woods hammering on Bubba in the corner until Ray clotheslines him down. Byron’s audio is back because we’re just that lucky. The Vaudevillains starts taking over now with Gotch snapmaring Woods so English can drop a knee for two. The Dudleyz don’t seem thrilled with their lack of ring time here as Bubba shouts at Gotch for tagging in English instead of D-Von.
Bubba comes in instead and punches away while shouting about Bootyo’s. Woods finally gets away and makes the hot tag off to Cass for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Big E. suplexes Gotch before throwing Kofi over the top onto English. A pretty horrible looking East River Crossing (mostly botched as Bubba is a bit too big) sets up the Empire Elbow to give Cass the pin at 10:38.
Rating: C. I’d be really surprised if they don’t give Cass a spot on Sunday’s card in an added match. They certainly seem to be pushing him at this point and it’s really cool to see someone this young and brand new on the roster getting such a shot. I don’t know if he has everything to make it work but at least he’s getting a good start.
John Cena is back on May 30.
Long video on Natalya vs. Charlotte on Sunday with Charlotte talking about how she’ll be twice as good as her dad because she uses the Figure Eight instead of the Figure Four.
Luke Gallows vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title. Usos vs. Anderson/Gallows in a Texas Tornado match is official for Sunday. Sweet goodness just stop already. Anderson/Styles/Usos, the latter again without the Siva Tau, are at ringside here. They trade elbows to start but only Reigns goes down. A second elbow knocks him outside so Reigns comes back inside where his Samoan drop gets two. We take a break and come back with Reigns firing off kicks to the ribs until Gallows takes his head off with a clothesline for a near fall of his own.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before a corner splash crushes Reigns again. That’s enough action so we hit the chinlock again. Roman gets up for a jumping clothesline but AJ’s distraction lets Gallows get in a rollup for two. There’s the Superman punch but AJ grabs Reigns’ foot to break up the spear. Everything breaks down on the floor with Reigns kicking AJ in the face, only to walk into the Gallows’ Pole (chokebomb) for a very close two. Anderson comes in and that’s a DQ at 11:50, despite him not touching anything.
Rating: C+. Not a bad power brawl but you knew the ending was going to be screwy. I have no idea why they couldn’t just wait until Anderson actually did something before getting to the DQ but anything that lets these six brawl more is the right idea in WWE’s eyes. That being said, it would be nice if Anderson and Gallows could actually, you know, WIN SOMETHING eventually.
Post match Anderson gives Reigns the Boot of Doom and the fight keeps going. AJ is the only man standing but he takes too long loading up the announcers’ table. Reigns gets in a few shots but everyone else gets back in it to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. Thank goodness it’s over. This wasn’t even a bad show or even a below average show. It was just incredibly boring for one simple reason: this is all padding instead of ANYTHING worthwhile (save for a decent Ambrose/Jericho segment). We’ve seen the opening match in various forms time after time, Dana doesn’t have a match on Sunday, Ziggler vs. Corbin has been done multiple times, Big Cass vs. New Day isn’t a match as far as I know and the main event stuff has been done to death.
I don’t remember the last time a company just ran out of steam like this the week before a pay per view but it’s been a rough two shows. Hopefully they don’t try to stretch these stories out through June as I don’t even want to imagine what we might have to sit through in that case. The quality was fine tonight but there’s just nothing interesting going on here.
Results
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dana Brooke b. Paige – Samoan Driver
Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus – Superkick
Big Cass/New Day b. Dudley Boyz/Vaudevillains – Empire Elbow to Bubba Ray
Roman Reigns b. Luke Gallows via DQ when Karl Anderson interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – April 4, 2016: Hitting The Ground Limping
Monday Night Raw Date: April 4, 2016
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s pretty much New Year’s Day in WWE after everything came to a big conclusion last night. We’re officially in the Roman Reigns Era (part three) and hopefully that means a little break from the Authority. The other interesting thing will be seeing where the McMahons go from here because they’re the real stars of this show. Let’s get to it.
Again I was in the arena for this show so my perspective might be a bit different.
We open with a long recap of Wrestlemania, because what else are they going to start with?
Opening sequence.
The announcers tell us that the crowd is going to be “non-traditional” tonight. Translation: “Please don’t listen to the fans booing Reigns. He’s really AWESOME!” JBL says they’re just having fun. If fun means chanting for the Sheraton Hotel room that came in their travel packages, followed by a TRAVEL PACKAGE chant, I’d rather sign up for misery.
Here’s Vince to get things going and the fans actually sing his theme song. Vince: “Exactly the same chance my son had against the Undertaker!” He brings up Reigns winning the title and the fans are really not pleased. However, as of this morning the lock box is all taken care of, save for explaining what the heck that’s about. Last night was a great night but seeing his grandsons out there with Shane got to him a bit. It almost got to him when Shane climbed the Cell, which of course draws a Shane O’Mac chant.
Vince promises that tonight is a night we’ll never forget and goes to leave but Shane slowly limps out to cut him off. The fans thank Shane but he wants to shake Vince’s hand (“Since I’m the only man in the family.”) because Vince won at Wrestlemania. Shane thanks the fans and goes to leave but Vince cuts him off and blames the fans for what happened last night. Vince cuts him off again and says no one upstages him. He’s often thought how insane it would be to have Shane running Raw…..so let’s see how bad it can get.
Yes Shane is now in charge of Raw, completely negating A MONTH AND A HALF of storylines, along with erasing the point of last night’s Cell match. It’s almost like they booked themselves into a stupid corner with the story and had to find a way out of it while completely throwing logic out the window. This is the kind of nonsense that gets old in a hurry because I basically spent a month and a half trying to make sense of this stuff and then they say “oh never mind because we’re just doing what Vince was so scared of because.” Why? Just because. That drives me crazy but it happens far too often around here.
Here’s New Day for a talk before their title defense. Woods now has a smaller horn for reasons that aren’t likely to be explained. Maybe Vince just lost his mind and felt it should be smaller. The fans do the HEY! WE WANT SOME NEW DAY song before Big E. says things didn’t go according to plan last night.
Kofi did get to twerk with Shawn Michaels but Woods took a Stunner. Woods: “Upon further review of the tape, I have to admit….that it was pretty much my own fault.” However, they now have the last piece of Bootyo’s from last night, which will be playing the role of Simba as Woods hums Circle of Life from Lion King. It’s one of my all time favorites and the fans dug the heck out of that bit.
Tag Team Titles: King Barrett/Sheamus vs. New Day
The challengers come out after a break but first we get to see Lillian dancing with New Day, which she actually did twice. Kofi and Sheamus go into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the Shane story because the Tag Team Titles aren’t interesting enough. Everything breaks down and the League is sent outside, followed by Kofi being launched over the top (complete with fanfare from Woods) for a big crash.
Sheamus gets back up and knocks Kofi off the top for a crash but thankfully Woods is there to reassure him that the Bootyo is magical. Kofi fights back on Barrett but gets kicked hard in the ribs. We take a break and come back with the Wave going on in the background. Even Sheamus gets in on it, which actually causes Woods to get the mic and say if you like the Wave you like Sheamus.
This was the second time he said something like that after he had to get the fans to stop chanting Rocksteady during the break. To his credit, the crowd stopped cold both times so that seems to be the solution to the annoying chants. Kofi kicks Sheamus away and makes the hot tag as the fans are busy chanting about how awesome they are. Big E. starts in with the suplexes and the Warrior splash, followed by a whip to send Barrett into Sheamus. The Midnight Hour retains the titles at 8:45.
Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m sick of seeing these groups fight. There has to be someone else that New Day can fight, even if it’s some pairing of two big heels. The League just isn’t interesting no matter how many times they call themselves the lads or spin their fingers around their heads. New Day is way over but they’re getting into that Edge and Christian territory of having no one to feud with. At least they’re getting a nice long reign out of it though and with those shirts selling as strong as they do, the team isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Post match Sheamus says he’s had it with all this losing. Every time he looks at one of these losses, he sees one weak link and that’s going to change. That means a Brogue Kick to Barrett, which draws out the Wyatts to destroy the remainder of the League, complete with the fans singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. So there’s the face turn for the Wyatts, though let’s look at this League thing for a minute.
Did Sheamus forget that whole THEY WON AT WRESTLEMANIA part? Barrett knocked Woods silly to set up the win but now he’s kicked out after one loss? As has been proven already, it seems that New Day should have won at Wrestlemania to set this up, especially since they won here like the Wrestlemania match meant nothing. It’s bad storytelling and really should have been fixed before it became a stupid moment.
Vince goes to leave the arena but tells Renee Young that Shane is only in charge temporarily. He’s leaving early because this is going to be a disaster and he doesn’t want to watch the ship go down.
Summer Rae vs. Sasha Banks
Summer actually gets promo time and says if she was in charge of Bad and Blonde last night, they wouldn’t have wound up flat on their faces like Sasha did. Banks is back in the shorts tonight. She grabs the mic away from Summer and reminds us that she is in fact the Boss before slapping Summer in the face. Summer begs off like a heel should and suckers Sasha in to a neck snap across the middle rope. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds in but Sasha is quickly up with a snapmare and running knees to the chest for two. The Bank Statement makes Summer tap at 1:40.
Shane McMahon is talking to Apollo Crews.
Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze
This is Crews’ main roster debut after only a few months down in NXT. Then again when you have those natural gifts, it’s not expected that you’ll see him in developmental that long. Crews starts fast with a pop up powerslam for two, followed by a suplex from Breeze for the same. We’re already in the chinlock and it would be nice for Crews to at least look….something. He’s just kind of there and ignoring that someone has him in a chinlock. Crews pops up with the gorilla press and standing moonsault, followed by the lifting powerbomb for the pin at 1:52. Typical debut squash.
Clips of Charlotte and Roman Reigns on the Today Show.
Here’s Reigns to open the second hour with even louder booing than the previous night. During the entrance, JBL says Reigns is so happy to finally be on top of the mountain. That would be back on top of the mountain actually because this is his third reign which is supposed to mean more than the first two. The people boo him again but Reigns says he’s not a bad guy. He’s not a good guy either. No he’s just THE guy because he won the World Title in the biggest Wrestlemania of all time. If anyone wants to come get this title from him, he’s not going anywhere.
This brings out Chris Jericho, who brags about all his successes, which are far stronger than anything Reigns has ever done. Jericho stops though and calls out the fans for their stupid chants because they’re not going to hijack the show. Fans: “WE ARE IDIOTS!” Jericho rips on the internet favorite AJ Styles, which brings out Styles himself.
Before he can say anything though, here’s Kevin Owens. Again nothing is said though because Sami Zayn comes out, likely due to his leash to Owens getting a bit too tight. Owens and Zayn go right at it and fight to the floor with Zayn hitting a big flip dive. AJ is sent outside and Jericho eats a spear.
Of note: Zayn seemed to land awkwardly on that flip dive and BOLTED to the back with his arm dangling by his side. He ran off while the lights were down so most people couldn’t see him but it was definitely visible.
We look back at Vince agreeing to let Shane run Raw.
Back from a break and Shane makes a four way between Zayn, Owens, Jericho and Styles for the #1 contendership. Reigns thinks that’s just fine.
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
Before the match, Corbin says all you need to know about him is this trophy. Ziggler hammers away in the corner but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. A forearm knocks Ziggler off the apron and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in a nerve hold and the fans cheering for a beach ball because some nitwit fan felt the need to pull one out and bat it around.
This would be during the Raw debut of an NXT talent that the same people probably begged to be promoted for months while chanting for NXT. I’d also be willing to bet that they’ll blame Vince for not pushing Corbin properly while Vince’s reaction is “they saw him in his first match and would rather play with a beach ball.” BUT THEY’RE JUST HAVING FUN! Anyway Corbin misses a charge and hits the post, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Deep Six gets the same for Corbin and they head outside into the crowd for the double countout at 8:32.
Rating: D+. This was an awkward one as Ziggler was kind of being squashed but is too big of a star for that treatment and tried to fight back but couldn’t make it work. Corbin looked good but I’m not sure why they didn’t just have him get the win here. It’s not like Ziggler can’t bounce back from a dozen losses or anything like that so just give Corbin the big win here. At least he didn’t lost though.
Post match Corbin gives him the End of Days on the floor.
We look back at Lesnar destroying Ambrose last night.
Here’s Zack Ryder with something to say. When Ryder was a kid he got to meet Razor Ramon and hold the Intercontinental Title. Well last night they took another picture with Ramon holding Ryder’s title, which makes for a really good pair of photos. Ryder thanks his dad (in the front row) but here’s Miz to interrupt. Last night Ryder stole what belongs to Miz and now it’s time to show that Ryder is just a flash in the pan. That means it should be time for a title shot right now. Ryder says Woo Woo Woo let’s do this.
Intercontinental Title: Zack Ryder vs. The Miz
Ryder is defending of course. Miz can’t get in an early Reality Check so Ryder dropkicks him for two. A baseball slide sends Miz into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Ryder getting knocked to the floor like the jobber that he is. Ryder fights back with some clotheslines but misses a dropkick, setting up the low DDT for two. The Rough Ryder misses but Ryder counters a suplex with a neckbreaker. I’ve always liked that counter.
The Elbow gets two on Miz but the Broski Boot misses. They head outside in front of Zack’s dad, so as you might expect, Miz is shoved down by Ryder Sr. To be fair, Zack’s dad is in better shape than half the roster. Fans: “MR. RYDER!” This brings out Maryse of all people (Miz’s wife) to slap Papa Ryder in the face, which is enough of a distraction for Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin and the title at 10:26.
Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work. You can push Ryder as having a big moment all you want but at the end of the day, he’s still the same Zack Ryder who has been a jobbing goon for years now. It would be a stretch to have him beat Miz in the first place and an even bigger stretch to have him beat Miz to retain the title. As I’ve said already though, this was pretty clearly Neville’s spot and he would have fit better, but I’m not sure who else they could have put here, especially if Miz is just getting the title back so soon.
Also of note: Lillian started to get in the ring to announce a match before Miz came out at all. This led to what looked like quite an argument at ringside which went on for a bit between Lillian and a producer.
Owens says he lost the title because he was in the ring with six other guys so the loss was hardly fair. Last night Sami Zayn stole the title from him but now it’s on to bigger and better things, like winning the WWE World Title. Sami cost him the Intercontinental Title last night but he’s not costing him the World Title tonight. The road to KO Mania II begins tonight.
The Vaudevillains are coming on Smackdown.
All of the women including Lita come for the formal presentation of the Women’s Title. Lita talks about not having many role models to look up to as a kid. That’s not the case for the youngest generation today though because this division has never been stronger. Charlotte is introduced but the fans cut her off by wanting some Bayley. She says this title is about all the women in this ring who made this happen and because of all the fans…..who won’t stop singing about how they want Bayley. JBL: “These people are rude.”
Charlotte finally goes with the heel stuff by saying she won the title, but now the fans are on a WOMEN’S WRESTLING chant. The real credit goes to Ric Flair though because she got her here. The energy from the fans fueled her to her victory. It makes her laugh that she hasn’t even been here for a year while some of the less successful women have been here seven or eight years.
Sasha and Becky walk out and the rest of the women follow, save for Natalya. Somehow this turns into an argument over the Harts and the Flairs because that’s still a thing they’re pushing. Also ignore the fact that we just saw Charlotte vs. Natalya and haven’t gotten Sasha vs. Charlotte in a one on one feud yet. Natalya puts her in the Sharpshooter until Ric makes the save.
AJ Styles says it’s a new beginning and the start of a new era. That new era is going to be phenomenal.
Video on Primo and Epico, who really like Puerto Rico. This might actually be a downgrade from Los Matadores.
Usos vs. Dudley Boyz
Tables match. It’s a brawl to start of course and they head outside as JBL talks about his tables matches against Bubba and D-Von. Jimmy gets slammed to set up What’s Up but Bubba won’t do GET THE TABLES. The Usos pop up and dive onto the Dudleyz and we take a break. Back with Jey breaking up a superplex through the table as the fans are almost entirely behind the Dudleyz.
Jimmy dives over a table and onto Bubba with a splash. A double superkick breaks up a double powerbomb attempt, followed by the Usos running the barricade for a double dive. Back in and the Superfly splashes miss but drive the Usos through the tables. Apparently that’s enough to give the Dudley Boyz the win at 8:53, even though it’s long since been established that you have to drive them through a table using an offensive move. They’re not announced as the winners and JBL acknowledges that it was an early bell.
Rating: D. A lot of these matches really aren’t working for me and a lot of that is due to this match not needing to happen. I’d assume we’ll get a third match between them soon enough because the world is waiting on seeing who gets the advantage in a feud that isn’t interesting in the first place. The Usos need a new direction because they’re getting less and less interesting every time they come out.
Sami Zayn says he’s been in every kind of match around the world. He talks about wrestling around the world when Kevin Owens jumps him and gives him a powerbomb through a table.
Post break the Dudleyz are still at ringside yelling…..and here come Enzo and Cass to the pop of the night. Cole: “If you haven’t got a sample of them…..well some would say you’re in for a treat.” The fans start a loud HOW YOU DOIN chant before Enzo talks about being a smack talker skywalker with a lightsaber in his hand. The Dudleyz are still standing in the aisle and Enzo thinks they’re jealous because they’re ugly.
Bubba and D-Von look almost scared at how stupid this sounds but Enzo says he’ll use the gift of jab to knock that lazy eye back into place. Enzo: “Fall back like your hairline!” Cass invites the Dudleyz down for a fight but they back off like true heels. That’s enough for Cass to declare them SAWFT to wrap this up. Yeah the insults were kind of lame but this was all about the delivery and the reaction and these guys look like stars.
Zayn is officially out of the four way but a replacement will be named.
Ryder gets his rematch on Smackdown.
Dr. Phil will be the guest star next week. Why? No reason of course but he’s a celebrity and therefore interesting.
Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles vs. ???
The mystery entrant is……Cesaro, who was the most likely option and very well received by the fans. If nothing else we get a cool new entrance as Cesaro comes out in a tear away suit with trunks underneath. AJ and Jericho fight in one corner with the other two across the ring before it’s off to AJ vs. Cesaro to a very nice reaction. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops AJ for two and we take a break.
Back with Jericho suplexing Styles but Cesaro gets back in, only to have Owens break up the Swing. The big guys head outside again as Jericho loads up a superplex on AJ, only to have Owens and Cesaro come back in to make it a Tower of Doom. With everyone else down, Cesaro starts running the corners for European uppercuts, only to have Owens get a boot up. AJ enziguris Kevin but walks into Swiss Death. Jericho clotheslines Cesaro outside but gets jumped by his fellow Canadian.
The package side slam gets two on Jericho, who avoids a Cannonball. The Lionsault hits knees though, only to have AJ hit the springboard 450 for two of his own. Owens gets back again and tells AJ to stay down with his stupid haircut but Cesaro gets back in and sends both of them into the corner for rotating European uppercuts. Jericho takes over a third corner and now it’s time for triple rotating uppercuts.
Chris breaks it up but dives into the Swing as it’s all Cesaro at this point. Owens superkicks AJ to block a springboard and there’s the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Styles. A Codebreaker gets the same on Owens with Cesaro making the save. Cesaro gets caught in the Walls but he reverses into the Sharpshooter to a big reaction. AJ makes the save with the forearm to Cesaro and Peles Owens to the floor, only to eat a Codebreaker for two. A quick backslide attempt has Jericho in trouble but AJ keeps rolling forward into the Clash for the pin and the title shot at 16:44.
Rating: B+. This match was a blast with four potential winners until Styles pulled off the big surprise pin. I’m not sure where Cesaro goes after this as you would assume Sami vs. Owens for Payback so maybe Cesaro gets Jericho. Styles vs. Reigns could be something interesting if they build it up properly but it could also be a borderline disaster with the fans booing Reigns out of the building.
AJ celebrated for a very long time after the show went off the air.
Overall Rating: B-. I had a good time here, despite some big holes in a lot of what was going on. The Raw after Wrestlemania isn’t about the in ring action but rather all the events that take place. Cesaro returning, Shane taking over Raw (and seems to be more off camera than the Authority, which is already a huge plus) and a bunch of debuts are a good sign and there should be some fun matches going into Payback, even though a lot of them aren’t hard to figure out. This may not have been a great, blow away show but it showed some promise going forward which is all it needed to do.
Results
New Day b. Sheamus/King Barrett – Midnight Hour to Barrett
Sasha Banks b. Summer Rae – Bank Statement
Apollo Crews b. Tyler Breeze – Lifting powerbomb
Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout
Miz b. Zack Ryder – Skull Crushing Finale
Dudley Boyz b. Usos – The Usos went through tables
AJ Styles b. Chris Jericho, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Styles Clash to Jericho
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