WWE Vault Grab Bag IV
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura, Abraham Washington, Byron Saxton, Brett DiBiase, Matt Martlaro, Jim Ross, Chris Russo

This has become one of my favorite things to do lately as I’ll be looking at a totally random collection of matches from the WWE (or possibly WCW) Vault YouTube channels. You never know what they’re going to drop and it could be something even I’ve never seen before. We’ll be looking at another eleven matches here so let’s get to it.

From WCCW in Dallas, Texas, February 26, 1983.

Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

Lumberjack match. Hayes bails to the floor to start, which isn’t the most logical way to go in this kind of a match. Kerry and Gordy start things off and trade some fists until it’s quickly off to Hayes for the strutting. Hayes sends him into the buckle but gets punched down for two, meaning it’s off to David vs. Gordy.

David takes over rather quickly and hands it off to Kevin for the nice barefoot dropkick but Gordy sends him into the corner. Roberts comes in to choke on the rope and a pull of the trunks keeps David in trouble. A knee drop gets two and it’s back to Gordy to drive him into the corner. David gets a foot up to cut him off and it’s back to Kerry for the big hot comeback.

A snapmare into a knee drop has Gordy rocked but Roberts is right back in. Kerry gets dropped into a hammerlock and Hayes snaps the arm over the top rope. Hayes gets two off a hammerlock backbreaker and Kerry is sent outside where the lumberjacks…throw him back in without getting violent. Kerry manages the tag off to David and everything breaks down. Kerry and Roberts fight to the floor, leaving Hayes to come off the ropes with an ax handle. Kevin breaks up the cover though and David pins Gordy at 11:41.

Rating: B-. As usual, the match itself was only ok, but what mattered the most here was the crowd’s reaction. Make no mistake about it: nothing came close to getting this much heat in wrestling at this point, which is why WCCW is so fondly remembered to this day. It was the hottest feud in wrestling and that was the case for a very long time. Not great, but very entertaining.

Post match the Freebirds are ticked off before leaving. The Von Erichs thank the fans and want the World Title.

From Evansville, Indiana, February 3, 1998 in a dark match before Raw.

One Man Gang vs. Flanagan

The Gang gets quite the nostalgia pop and is a good bit slimmer than he was back in the day. Gang jumps him to start and chokes with a jacket before hammering away in the corner. Flanagan (Flash Flanagan, a longtime OVW star) comes back with a missile dropkick for one and some clotheslines, only to charge into a side slam. Gang splashes him in the corner but Flanagan is back with the usual assortment of strikes. Flanagan charges into a boot in the corner though and a huge clothesline puts him down again. The 747 finishes Flanagan off at 6:10.

Rating: C-. Oddly enough, the Gang didn’t look terrible here. He was out there doing his thing and looked decent doing it. The match wasn’t particularly good of course as Gang wasn’t great on his best day, but this was far from Earthquake’s disaster of an out of nowhere dark match. The other interesting thing is that Gang was only thirty seven here. It absolutely would not have been insane for him to still be going for a few more years so this was definitely worth a shot.

From New York City, New York, September 23, 1985.

Andre The Giant vs. King Kong Bundy

Yes this is the Colossal Jostle, which is a takeoff of Colossal Tussle, which was the planned name for the show that would eventually be dubbed Wrestlemania. Lou Albano and Jimmy Hart are here too. Andre powers him into the corner for the choke to start, with Bundy bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bundy hammers away in the corner but gets dropped with a quick headbutt. Bundy kicks him in the chest and boots him out to the floor for a change. Back in and Andre grabs an armbar and cranks away. Then he cranks some more.

Then they go to the mat with the cranking continues. We’ve been in this same hold for over three minutes now and there is just nothing happening. Wait, they turned over and rolled into the middle of the ring. Bundy FINALLY gets out of it after about four minutes and is headbutted outside for a heck of a bump. Back in and Andre wins a slugout before…well they might be loading up a tango. Bundy knocks him into the corner for more choking on the ropes but Andre cuts off a charge with a raised boot. Andre sits on Bundy’s chest but Big John Studd runs in for the DQ at 13:52.

Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness no. This was one of those matches where they were trying at the start and they could have done better if it was, say, eight minutes shorter. Having Andre work on the arm for almost a third of the match was quite the choice and it was hardly worth watching. They started fast and it was fun for a few minutes, but then reality set in and it got bad in a hurry.

Post match Andre rolls outside and grabs a chair, which he breaks over a table and chases the monsters off. Given that a ticked off Andre was a terrifying sight, I can’t blame them.

From WWC in Caguas, Puerto Rico, August 6, 1993.

Madusa vs. Luna Vachon

I believe that’s the date, as these two fought a few times in Puerto Rico around this time. They go to the mat to start with Vachon working on a hammerlock but getting reversed into a headscissors. That’s broken up and they head outside, with Madusa being sent (a long way) over the barricade.

Back in and Madusa grabs a slam but gets pulled into a nerve hold to put her back down. Madusa fights up and slaps her in the face a few times, setting up a chinlock. Vachon reverses into one of her own but that’s broken up as well, with Madusa grabbing a superplex for two. Back up and the missile dropkick misses for Madusa, allowing Vachon to get the quick pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. Not exactly great stuff here, but women’s wrestling in 1993 was a very different universe. You could see the talent in there though and they were absolutely trying. It would have been nice to see things had they done this years later, but for now it’s certainly an interesting look at a rather different wrestling universe.

From New York City, New York, July 7, 2017.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

Styles is challenging at a house show. Owens stalls a lot before the bell and we’re clipped to more stalling, though the bell singes to have rang. The threat of a wristlock sends Owens bailing to the floor, with Styles following him out. Back in and Owens hammers away but his ram into the corner is blocked. Styles sends him into the buckle instead and they go outside, with Owens being sent crashing down.

Back in and the Phenomenal Forearm misses, allowing Owens to score with the superkick. Some right hands in the corner let Owens load up the Cannonball but Styles rolls outside, leaving Owens to chill on the top rope instead. A clothesline gives Owens two and we hit the chinlock.

We’re clipped to Styles getting pulled back down into the chinlock but he fights up again. A jumping enziguri puts Owens down as well and Styles hits the seated forearm. The belly to back faceplant gives Styles two but Owens bails from the threat of the Styles Clash. Instead Styles goes with the fireman’s carry backbreaker for two and they’re both down again. Another superkick gives Owens two but the Swanton hits raised knees. The Styles Clash gives Styles two and the Phenomenal Forearm connects to give Styles the pin and the title at 13:04 shown.

Rating: B. It’s no surprise that these two had solid chemistry together, but it’s also fascinating to see something like this happen at a house show. That really wasn’t the case most of the time but as usual, the Garden was just different. They had a good match, and Styles winning the title (even though he wouldn’t hold it long) is an easy way to go as Styles can make just about anything work.

Styles gets to celebrate for a long time and spends some time with the fans on the way out for a good moment.

From FCW in 2010/11. This is a bit different as it’s a look back at an entire rivalry with a few matches.

 

Queen Of FCW/Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, August 29, 2010. Winner take all and that would be the FCW Divas Title, not the main roster version. There are a bunch of Divas watching at ringside too. Lee shoulders her down to start but runs into the Rear View. A backslide with the splits gives Naomi two as commentary is having WAY too much fun looking at these two. Lee flips her over and hits a running knee for two but Naomi blocks a headscissors on the floor. They crash out to the floor and slug it out until it’s a double countout at 2:31.

AJ Lee vs. Naomi Knight

From FCW TV, September 29, 2010 and a non-title lumberjill match. Naomi grabs a headlock to start but gets kicked to the floor, where she is rather aggressively thrown back inside. Lee grabs the chinlock but Naomi sends her outside, where the lumberjills throw her back inside as well. Washington: “That kind of turns me on.” Sweet goodness this guy is insufferable. Back in and a Rear View drops Lee again but she’s right back with a tornado DDT for two. Lee goes up but gets leg lariated out of the air to give Naomi the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, but this was a VERY different time for women’s wrestling. These two weren’t exactly given much time (as we’re at less than six minutes over two matches) and while it seems there is a story, it definitely feels like FCW saying “here’s a women’s match”. You need a bit more than that, though this was on the higher level of women’s wrestling at this point.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, January 23, 2011 and Naomi is defending. Lee takes over to start and sends Naomi outside. Back in and Lee grabs a chinlock but Naomi fights up without much trouble. A spinning kick to the head gives Naomi two but a slingshot rollup is broken up. Lee knees her in the face for two, followed by the yet to be named Black Widow. That’s reversed into a backbreaker for two more but Lee is back up with a standing Sliced Bread #2 for the pin and title at 5:04.

Rating: C. This got a bit more time and that did help, but there is still only so much to get from this kind of a match. At least they were able to fit in a bit more with Lee evening the series. They’re also getting the chance to showcase their talents more each time and that was a great thing to see, as it was basically a preview of the coming years.

Divas Title: Naomi Knight vs. AJ Lee

From FCW TV, March 13, 2011 and Lee is defending. Lee takes her down into an early Fujiwara armbar. The Rear View connects but Naomi misses a big crossbody into the ropes for a heck of a crash. Lee is right back on the arm but Naomi kicks her down again. Naomi fires off more kicks, only to get kicked down out of the corner. The standing Sliced Bread #2 finishes for Lee at 1:34. Well that was pretty definitive.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992. This is a dark match from a TV taping (they taped shows for different series that day), including the first ever WWF ladder match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels.

Undertaker/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Berzerker

Holy Lethal Lottery match! Paul Bearer, Mr. Perfect and Mr. Fuji are here too and this actually aired on a German WWF show later in the year (plus on a Randy Savage Unreleased DVD). We get the big staredown to start until Savage (the WWF Champion) grabs the mic for an OH YEAH. Savage and Flair start things off as we’re over two minutes in with no contact yet.

Flair does the hand slap and then slicks back his hair, meaning it’s finally time to lock up with about two and a half minutes burned off. Savage’s headlock is quickly reversed but he’s right back with a hammerlock. Flair bails to the rope so Savage slaps him in the face to make it more serious. Another slap has Flair down on one knee, with Perfect not exactly happy with any of this.

Flair does a rare leapfrog before getting dropped with a clothesline, meaning it’s off to Undertaker. The forearms and chops in the corner have as much effect as you would expect so Undertaker hits a gorilla press (and seems to stumble a bit as he slams Flair down). It’s off to Berzerker, who gets choked into the corner but knocks Undertaker outside. That’s fine with Undertaker of course, who sends Berzerler’s hands into the steps for some rather hilarious staggering selling.

Back in and Savage’s top rope ax handle gets two but Berzerker tosses him into the corner to take over. Flair comes in for a running chop and we hit the chinlock. Savage is tossed outside for a cheap shot from Perfect and Berzerker gets to toss him outside as well. The ring mats are pulled up and Savage gets caught underneath them for a bit of a weird spot. Back in and Savage gets tied up in the ropes but gets out and crawls over to Undertaker for the big tag. We don’t waste time as it’s a Tombstone to Berzerker, a clothesline to Flair and the big elbow to pin Berzerker at 13:37.

Rating: B-. Oh of course this was fun. There was pretty much no way that they weren’t going to have a good time out there, as it was the always effective idea of combining two feuds into one. I had a good time with this and it’s the kind of rarely seen match that is worth looking at all these years later. Come on. Savage and Berzerker? Undertaker and Flair? What’s not to like?

From Hartford, Connecticut, August 27, 1986, a dark match from a Wrestling Challenge taping.

Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog vs. Paul Orndorff/Adrian Adonis

Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart and Bob Orton are here too as Lord Alfred Hayes is ring announcer, which oddly works. Orndorff charges at Hogan and hammers away to start but Hogan fights back with right hands of his own. Hogan clears the ring of all the villains, both the legal and illegal ones, before hitting a jumping knee of all things to Orndorff. They fight out the floor with Hogan hammering away even more, followed by Dog coming in for right hands of his own.

The all fours headbutts have the villains down again and the crowd is going insane for all of this. There’s a bunch of trash thrown in and we settle down to Dog vs. Adonis (which thankfully allows Orndorff to fix his trunks, which were riding up). Dog wastes no time in sending Adonis outside, where Orton gets in a cheap shot to take over. Hogan isn’t having that but gets choked by some kind of a belt to put him down again. Back in and Dog headbutts Adonis, who flips around in quite the bump.

A double clothesline drops Adonis again but he’s able to come back with the sleeper. With Dog down, Orndorff adds a top rope fist drop and draws Hogan in like a moron. The chinlock goes on but Dog fights up and a double right hand puts both of them down again. Adonis is right there to cut off the tag though and a jumping elbow hits Dog. That doesn’t do much good though as Dog is up for the tag to Hogan a few seconds later, meaning right hands can come flying. Everything breaks down and Hart’s interference doesn’t work. Instead it’s the big leg to finish Adonis at 9:18.

Rating: B-. More entertaining stuff here, with Hogan of course being over like free beer in a frat house. You could pretty much put anyone with him and have them feel like a huge star, with the Dog already being a big deal on his own. That’s a pretty good situation to have and it worked again here. At the same time, Orndorff was absolutely white hot at this point and the best villain going, with Adonis being more than able to hang in there with anyone. Fun match.

Post match, a lot of posing ensues.

From the NXT pilot at Full Sail University in Winter Park, Florida, December 7, 2011.

Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus/Daniel Bryan

Rhodes is the Intercontinental Champion and says tonight they have defied time because this is tomorrow’s superstars today. This makes you wonder what happens if tomorrow never comes, so what about the current champions? Rhodes asks the people if they know who he is, because he may be the ugly duckling of the Legacy but he is the future of the WWE. He’s ready to define Daniel Bryan but here is Bryan (with banged up ribs and his Money In The Bank briefcase) to cut him off.

With Rhodes’ future wife Eden Stiles out of the way, we’re ready to go. Rhodes shoulders Bryan down to start but gets kicked in the chest for his efforts. That earns Bryan an elbow to the bad ribs, allowing McIntyre to come in and stay on those ribs. Sheamus comes in and gets knocked into the corner by McIntyre. That doesn’t last long as McIntyre is knocked to the apron for the ten forearms. Rhodes is sent outside as well and Bryan adds a running knee from the apron.

We take a break and come back with Bryan giving McIntyre a dragon screw legwhip but McIntyre goes to the ropes to save himself. Back in and Rhodes goes after the ribs, only to get pulled into a surfboard. Rhodes gets rolled up for two and rolls outside, going all the way into the crowd. Sheamus comes in and unloads with forearms to Rhodes’ back, followed by a forearm to knock Rhodes out of the air. McIntyre gets a blind tag and boots Sheamus in the face for two as we take another break.

We come back with Rhodes’ front chancery setting up McIntyre’s suplex for two on Sheamus. It’s back to Rhodes to stomp away in the corner as JR says that Rhodes has the X factor and will be WWE Champion one day. Fair enough actually. Sheamus picks Rhodes up for a toss and it’s back to Bryan to back up the pace, including the running dropkick in the corner. The Swan Dive misses though and Bryan is sent outside for a drop onto the barricade.

Bryan is thrown back in for an abdominal stretch from Rhodes, which includes an elbow to the ribs. McIntyre’s gutbuster gets two and the abdominal stretch goes on again. This time it’s broken up with a hiptoss and they hit stereo crossbodies. Bryan slides through McIntyre’s legs and it’s back to Sheamus for the powerhouse comeback. The Irish Curse gets two on McIntyre with Rhodes making the save as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick finishes McIntyre at 25:27.

Rating: B. The time helped here as they were able to tell a lot more of a story, which is always appreciated. At the same time, this is a situation where you have four talented wrestlers who were given the chance of showcasing their skills, which was a big deal on this kind of a show. I got into this one and it was indeed worth a look.

Overall Rating: C+. This started slowly but ended well and that made things good enough. The good thing here is that there was a wide variety of matches, which granted is always the high point of these things. It’s another great mixture of what you can see from the Vault and I had fun with it again, which hopefully continues for a very long time.

 

 

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Even More Incredible Battle Royals
Commentators: Booker T., Josh Matthews, Michael Cole, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Lord Alfred Hayes, Ron Trongard, Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage, Lee Marshall, Bill DeMott, Nigel Sherrod

Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of fun with the previous two entries in this series, as they’re just fun to watch. The best part is that a lot of these haven’t been seen in a long time, so they’re not exactly famous. That leaves you with some surprise entries and winners, which hopefully is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, July 3, 2012.

Battle Royal

Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Daniel Bryan, Heath Slater, CM Punk, Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Big Show, Ezekiel Jackson, Zack Ryder, Christian, Santino Marella, Justin Gabriel, Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long introduces this one, as the winner will be GM next week and that is a stacked lineup. Gabriel is out in a hurry and Show dumps Clay out as well. Tensai gets rid of Jackson and a bunch of people get rid of Khali to clear out a lot of the ring. There goes Sandow and Marella is out as well. Show shoves out Rhodes and Kingston at the same time and we take a break.

We come back with Slater and Swagger put out during the break before Punk’s crossbody gets rid of Bryan…and himself as well. Kane starts wrecking people, including a chokeslam to Show but he doesn’t bother getting rid of anyone. A bunch of heels go after Cena, who fights back and gets rid of Del Rio. Tensai goes after Cena but gets tossed, with Show throwing Cena out instead.

Ryder goes after Show for some dumb reason and gets hit with a spear. Kane tosses Show and Ziggler at the same time, leaving us with Ryder vs. Kane, which fits as Kane ruined Ryder’s life late last year. Ryder slips off the shoulder but gets kicked in the face, only to come back with the Broski Boot. The Rough Ryder is cut off but Ryder low bridges him out for the win at 10:49.

Rating: C+. They had some star power here and that helped a lot, but it was nice to see Ryder actually winning something for a change. The good thing is that Ryder only had to pull the rope down to get some revenge but that’s better than nothing. The bigger names were pretty much cleared out without much of a second thought, but that’s one of the perks of a match like this. Nice enough job here.

From Madison Square Garden, October 20, 1986.

$50,000 Tag Team Battle Royal

Moondogs (Rex/Spot), Rougeau Brothers (Jacques Rougeau/Raymond Rougeau), Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine), The Indians (Steve Gatorwolf/Chief Jay Strongbow), Hart Foundation (Bret Hart/Jim Neidhart), Mike Rotundo/SD Jones, Islanders (Haku/Tama), Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik, Killer Bees (Jim Brunzell/Brian Blair), Machines (Super Machine/Big Machine), British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith/Dynamite Kid), King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

If one member of a team is eliminated, their partner is out as well. The Moondogs are out in about ten seconds and it’s already time to slow down for the weak elimination attempts. Sheik has to save himself from a fireman’s carry and Beefcake is sent to the apron but not out. Studd is almost out but Bundy cuts that off in a hurry.

Rotundo and Jones are out, as are the Indians (and yes, that’s what their graphic said) to clear the ring a bit. Sheik is backdropped out and the Harts/Bulldogs go out, naturally brawling on the floor as they leave. The Machines are almost out, though the Bees are entirely out as things are managing to slow down even more.

Studd backdrops Jacques out and Beefcake follows him, leaving us with the Machines, the Islanders and Bundy/Studd. Bundy and Studd get rid of the Machines though and we’re down to two. Well four but whatever. Tama gets crushed by the Avalanche, which leaves Haku fighting two monsters on his own (I feel sorry for them). Haku slugs away at Studd but Bundy misses a charge and hits his own partner to knock Studd out, giving the Islanders the win at 10:33.

Rating: C-. So the action here was the usual drek, but DANG it was nice to see some actual tag teams for a change. The 80s was just loaded with tag teams and some of these would go on to be among the best of their era. This would have been even better like a year later, but this was a fun one for the names alone. Not a good match for the most part save for the hot ending, but fine for a house show special attraction.

From the AWA. There’s no date given but this would likely be late 1982 (it’s definitely after October 9, 1982 as Otto Wanz is billed as a former World Champion).

$50,000 Battle Royal

Jerry Blackwell, Ken Patera, Buck Zumhoffe, Greg Gagne, Hulk Hogan, Andre The Giant, Baron von Raschke, Bobby Heenan, Kevin Johnson, Tom Lintz, Jim Brunzell, Jacques Goulet, Brad Rheingans, Rick Martel, Bobby Heenan, Adnan Al-Kaissie, Ray Stevens, Adrian Adonis, Bobby Duncum, Otto Wanz, Nick Bockwinkel

Hogan is listed at 335lbs, which is huge for him. Also, since everyone got an individual entrance, I had time to think about something. This is billed as a $50,000 battle royal, with 18 entrants. Commentary said that the participants had put up money for the big prize. But then there was a surprise, as it was now a twenty person battle royal. Now at 18 entrants, $50k breaks down to about $2,777 each. So did the last two entrants have to pay as well and the prize was really about $55k? Or did they get in free? Or did the AWA just pocket the extra entry fees? No wonder they didn’t last.

Commentary says the battle royal is underway, then a few seconds later the bell rings, then a few seconds later the ring announcer says it’s begun. Geez people we can see the concept. Hogan is in early trouble as Andre beats on Patera, who is on the floor but I don’t believe out. There are multiple people on the floor but commentary is not exactly great at telling us who is out.

We get the five minutes in call at less than four minutes as this company can’t get anything right. Adonis hits Andre in the back for some annoyance as we’re told everyone is still officially in. Stevens is finally the first one out and Lintz is out, though Heenan manages to save himself. Patera dumps Johnson as we’re told it’s ten minutes in before it’s even nine. Goulet is out and Adonis goes up top to forearm Raschke, which is quite the odd pairing. Raschke is out soon after and Zumhoffe joins him (good) as Gagne and Adonis fight on the floor without being eliminated.

Rheingans is out and Adonis goes up top again for some reason, with Andre slamming him down. Wanz is out, as is Adonis (billed as the Golden Boy, which is so bizarre given what he would become) and we get a bunch of people almost going out on the same rope before getting back in. Martel is out and things slow down again. We settle down to Heenan and company against the good guys, with Hogan and Andre picking up Gagne and Brunzell to kick various villains away (that’s a visual).

We’re told it’s fifteen minutes in (no) as Brunzell is tossed by Blackwell and Duncum. There goes Gagne and the villains split off to triple team Hogan and Andre in different corners. Hogan is sent through the ropes to the floor, where the beating continues. Andre fights out and gets rid of Blackwell and Al-Kaissie, plus Duncum.

Heenan comes off the top with an ax handle to save Bockwinkel and eliminates himself to avoid Andre… who goes over the top to eliminate himself as well. That leaves Patera and Bockwinkel to double team Hogan, who sends them into each other. Hogan backdrops both of them out to win (and jump up and down in celebration) at 19:52.

Rating: C. I’m not a big AWA guy for the most part, but they have a certain charm about them that was on display here. If nothing else, having Heenan running around trying to run things and then eliminating himself with quite the athletic jump was a great bonus. This had the usual share of standing around, but it’s fun to see such a different version of this kind of match from a promotion that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

From Monday Night Raw, February 15, 1993 (this was on the Invasion Of The Bodyslammers Coliseum Video, albeit with different commentary, so I’ve seen it far too many times).

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

It’s a big brawl to start and for some reason almost everyone is on one side of the ring. Michaels backdrops Ware out (in a great bump) as commentary talks about Tatanka beating Michaels on Superstars (which I actually watched earlier tonight). Typhoon gets rid of Skinner and Demento is out as well as this is not exactly flying thus far. Berzerker gets rid of Hart but is tossed out by Backlund.

Chee helps Typhoon eliminate Kamala, which just seems like a bad idea. Indeed as Kamala goes back inside to chop Chee and chase him through the crowd and into the concourse as we take a break. We come back (it’s kind awesome that we get to see the stuff in the break on the Coliseum Video) with Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony. Back in the ring, Typhoon gets backdropped over the corner for the elimination and we’re down to Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka, which breaks down into one heck of a tag match.

Michaels unloads on Tatanka in the corner and Ramon seems to knee Santana low. Santana is back up with the flying forearm and Michaels hits Tatanka with a dropkick. Michaels is sent onto the corner and the good guys kick him out at the same time to get us down to three. And here’s the Giant Gonzalez to knock Ramon through the ropes and throw the other two over before leaving. Ramon climbs back in and wins at 13:32.

Rating: D+. I love the tape and I’ve seen it quite a few times, but yeah this isn’t very good. It’s a few stars with a bunch of filler names and then Gonzalez coming in to wreck everyone at the end. The Kamala chase was funny, but that’s about the only entertaining part. It’s not a terrible match, but it’s pretty boring (until the final four) and that’s worse.

From the AWA, Saint Paul, Minnesota, February 7, 1989.

AWA World Title: Battle Royal

Sgt. Slaughter, Larry Zbyszko, Tom Zenk, Ken Patera, Steve Ray, Greg Gagne, Colonel DeBeers, Ricky Rice, Wayne Bloom, Wahoo McDaniel, Pat Tanaka, Mike Enos, Manny Fernandez, Akio Sato, Derrick Dukes, Mike George, Paul Diamond, Tommy Jammer

For the vacant title. It’s the usual start and there are no entrances here so good luck figuring out who all is in this. This means a lot of choking and brawling near the ropes, with the only interesting note being Diamond Dallas Page on the floor as a manager for apparently three or four people. Jammer is out and Enos (with his very 80s jeans) is as well, followed by I believe George (commentary is useless).

Fernandez is knocked out and a running clothesline gets rid of….someone commentary doesn’t bother to name. Patera is out and Fernandez is back in, as commentary apparently doesn’t get the difference between IN and OUT. DeBeers can’t get rid of Slaughter but someone can get rid of Sato. Fernandez is actually out and a bunch of people are tossed at once. We’re down to Zbyszko, Zenk, Gagne, Tatanka, DeBeers and Slaughter, with Gagne going up top like a moron and missing a top rope stomp.

Gagne is thrown out shortly thereafter and Zenk is on the floor but not out. Slaughter gets rid of Tanaka and DeBeers but gets tossed by Zbyszko. So we’re down two Zenk and Zbyszko as DeBeers brawls with Slaughter. And apparently this is now a regular match, as Zenk hits an atomic drop for two. Zbyszko slams him for two but gets sent hard into the corner. The referee gets bumped (oh sweet goodness) and Zenk hits his dropkick for an incredibly delayed two. A suplex gets two more but Zenk’s crossbody is thrown over the top rope to give Zbyszko the title at 15:38.

Rating: D-. This was a perfect illustration of why the AWA was dying. You had a bunch of people who didn’t feel like stars having an awful battle royal with the ending not really making sense. There was nothing to see here and it was a total mess, which explains the AWA in a nutshell: yeah it existed, but why would you want to watch it?

From the Global Wrestling Federation (early 90s promotion in Dallas), sometime in 1992.

$2000 Bunkhouse Battle Royal

Alex Porteau, Stevie Ray, Booker T, Chaz, Johnny Mantel, Gary Young, Black Bart, Shawn Summers, Rod Price, Scott Putski, Steven Dane, Tug Taylor, Maniac, Dewey, Terry Sill

You can win by over the top or pinfall and….my goodness this place does not have the best looking roster. Price is thrown out and pulls Young with him to get us down to thirteen. Chaz and Dane are both out and Booker beats up Tug Taylor as the Maniac (he’s a bit off) eliminates himself. Booker pins Dewey (I think?) before Summers, Taylor and Putski are all out. Mantel chokes Ray in the corner until Booker makes the save as Bart eliminates Sill. Porteau is out and we’re down to four as we take a break.

We come back with Booker and Ray in stereo chinlocks (in a BATTLE ROYAL) but they fight up…and get pulled back down into the chinlocks. Those are broken up so Ray grabs his own chinlock as I’m amazed at how bad these people are at this stuff. Bart fights up and ties Ray in the ropes while Booker skins the cat to save himself. Ray is back up and tosses Bart and Mantel…meaning Ray and Booker both win at 10:14.

Rating: F. Chinlocks. Multiple chinlocks. In a battle royal. I have no idea how this is the best way they could go, but it offers a good illustration of why this promotion is not exactly remembered positively. This was absolutely nothing and I don’t even get the ending, which wasn’t explained in any way and made a bad match even worse.

From Deep South Wrestling, the disaster of a developmental territory which did produce some good WWE talent, likely in 2005.

Battle Royal

Mike Mizanin, Mike Knox, Mike Shane, Todd Shane, Freakin Deacon, Palmer Cannon, Eric Perez, Nick Mitchell, Roughhouse O’Reilly, Antonio Banks, Mack Johnson, Derek Neikirk, Damien Steele, Kid Kash, Ryan Reeves, Mike Taylor, Joe Slaughter, Johnny Slaughter, Ray Gordy, Tony Santarelli, ???

For a bye in the first round of the Deep South Title tournament and one of the twenty one entrants are never named. Everyone goes after the Regulators (Shane and Shane) to start as commentary is rather hard to understand. One Shane saves the other from a group elimination and Roughhouse O’Reilly (Konnor of the Ascension) has to save himself. Todd Shane is thrown out and Mike Shane follows him as we’re now able to focus on anything else.

The Deacon (Luke Gallows) gets in front of Cannon as everyone tries to charge, with the Deacon eliminating four people in a row. Cannon bails to the floor so Deacon dives onto a bunch of people at once. A bunch of people get rid of Deacon as Cannon is now hiding underneath the ring.

We take a break and come back with Cannon hiding on the floor again as the brawl continues inside. A man in green gets enziguried out but chases Cannon back inside rather than leaving like he should. Well no wonder Cannon ran from that rulebreaker. Everyone looks at Cannon, who dives over the top to eliminate/save himself. Banks (the future MVP) is out and we get down to a bunch of brawling on the ropes. Johnson and Mitchell are eliminated and we take another break.

We come back with nine entrants remaining and the fans behind Reeves (the future Ryback) as someone not important enough to name is tossed. Steele sends Kash to the apron, only for Kash to dump him out. Neikirk has to save himself from being very close to an elimination and O’Reilly is put on the apron. Neikirk and Kash get together to eliminate Reeves and O’Reilly and we’re down to five as we take another break.

We come back with Miz and Taylor staring down with Team Elite (Neikirk, Kash and Knox). Miz gets double teamed in the corner but Kash turns on Knox with a hurricanrana. That earns him a boot to the face from Knox, allowing Taylor and Miz to…not eliminate him. Knox is back up with one heck of a chop to Miz in the corner and they pair off again. Taylor’s hurricanrana takes Kash to the apron but not out, leaving Miz to DDT the other two at the same time.

Taylor and Kash hit a double clothesline and everyone is down. Miz and Taylor are back up to take over on the villains but Taylor misses a charge and gets booted out. That leaves Miz on his own against the three villains, who quickly sends him to the apron to start. Miz manages to pull Kash halfway down though and the other two toss Kash out to get us down to three. Kash grabs at Miz from the floor so here is Taylor to go after him as well. Knox and Neikirk double team Miz but he skins the cat and headscissors Neikirk out. Knox pump kicks Miz in the face for the win at 40:30.

Rating: B. Well DANG that came out of nowhere. I was expecting absolutely nothing here and they wound up having one heck of a match in the end. The last ten minutes or so with Miz and Taylor fighting against the monsters worked great and I wanted to see how they were getting out of it. The time made it work well too, as this had no reason to go this long but they made it work and did something rather good. Nice job here and FAR better than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: D+. Well the winning streak ends at two, as the Deep South match wasn’t enough to make this work. That stretch of the 1993 match, the AWA mess and the horrible Global match dragged this WAY down. There wasn’t much to see here, with the opener and finale being good but not worth your watch. Go and check out the other two entries in the series as they’re a good bit better.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Giant Tag Teams
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Johnny V

It’s another compilation video from the WWE Vault and again, the name kind of speaks for itself. I have no idea what to expect from this one and that should make for something interesting. It’s a concept that doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but it could go well or poorly for any combination. Let’s get to it.

From Sunday Night Heat, February 11, 2001.

Brothers Of Destruction vs. Kai En Tai

Kane wrecks both of them to start and suplexes Taka. A one armed chokeslam gets two, with Funaki making a rather cruel save. Undertaker chokeslams some sense into Funaki and stereo Last Rides (well just a regular powerbomb in Kane’s case) finish at 1:40.

From WCW Saturday Night, June 19, 1993.

Masters Of The Powerbomb vs. Kip Abee/Terry Travis

That would be Vader and Sid Vicious. Vader chokeslams Abee to start and it’s off to Sid to kick Travis in the corner. A clothesline takes Travis’ head off and Sid’s powerbomb finishes at 1:16.

From Superstars, October 19, 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Barry Hardy/Duane Gill/Jim Arnon

Earthquake takes Hardy into the corner to start. Piper: “HARDY! GO FOR HIS EYES!” McMahon: “Family entertainment here.” Piper, in a much quieter voice: “Grab his wrist and try to make him give up.” Savage: “GRAB HIS EYES!” Gill gets taken into the corner and everything breaks down with the triple splash crushing the jobbers. The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash finishes Arnon at 2:51.

From Armageddon 2006.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

This is what I love about these collections: you have a bunch of squash matches and then a pay per view semi main event out of nowhere. It’s such a random collection. Show shoves Batista down to start and then does it again for a bonus. Some right hands and running clotheslines do a bit better for Batista and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Show. A running shoulder puts Show down but he shoves Batista away without much trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Show settles for a big boot instead. It’s off to Kane who actually gets suplexed for a fast two.

Back up and Kane hits the side slam on Batista but Batista slams him off the top to cut off the big clothesline. Mysterio comes in to pick up the pace but his kick to the face just annoys Kane. The right hands in the corner don’t do much either so Mysterio tries a middle rope ax handle. A springboard missile dropkick looks to set up a 619 but Show offers a distraction. Batista cuts him off but Show is right there again to cut off another 619 attempt.

The ram into the post has Mysterio down again and Show casually throws him back inside. Show kicks Batista’s offer of a tag away and then drops Mysterio with a loud chop. Kane pulls Mysterio out of the air but gets put down with the sitout bulldog. Batista has to break up the double chokeslam and everything breaks down. The spear cuts Kane down and Mysterio adds the basement dropkick. Batista hits the spinebuster before tackling Show over the announcers’ table. Back in and the 619 hits Kane, who pulls the West Coast Pop out of the air. The chokeslam finishes Mysterio at 8:06.

Rating: C+. That’s the logical way for this to end, as there wasn’t much that Mysterio could do against that kind of power. Batista was holding his own in there for as long as he could but ultimately Show and Kane were dominant monsters for a reason. It wasn’t much more than a Smackdown main event but it did its job fairly well.

From (I believe) Wrestling Challenge, January 22, 1989.

Twin Towers vs. ???/???

Boss Man powers one of them into the corner and chokes on the ropes as we get an insert promo from Slick, praising the Towers. Akeem comes in and beats up the other jobber before Boss Man hits a hard clothesline. A double back elbow hits one of them as Monsoon suddenly praises Slick, saying he’ll have champions soon enough. The Boss Man Slam sets up Air Africa for the pin at 2:02.

From Smackdown, April 27, 2000.

Hollys vs. T&A

Test full nelson slams Hardcore to start but Hardcore is back up to stomp away in the corner. Crash comes in and avoids a charge in the corner as commentary talks about the possibility of Steve Austin being here tonight. A sitout powerbomb gives Test two as the Dudley Boyz are watching in the back. Albert’s splash misses and Hardcore comes back in for the dropkick. Crash tags himself back in though (drawing the ELROY chants) and misses his own splash. Test boots Hardcore down and the gorilla press from Albert sets up the top rope elbow to finish Crash at 3:17.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but then again, T&A were little more than a vehicle for Trish Stratus (that worked well enough). It’s easy to forget how many teams were around in this era as Edge and Christian and the Hardys and the Dudleys get so much attention. Both of these teams were totally decent most of the time and this could have been better with some extra time.

From Armageddon 2007.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

This was during the ECW Champion CM Punk Fights A Bunch Of Monsters period. Henry shoves Punk down to start and, after shrugging off some kicks to the leg, does it again. Kane comes in to uppercut away at Henry, followed by a running dropkick to the knee. It’s back to Punk for a dropkick but Henry runs him over with ease.

V comes in so Punk strikes away, which goes as well as you would expect. Matt Striker gets in a cheap shot to Punk on the floor before it’s back to Henry for a gorilla press. Back up and Punk avoids a charge in the corner, allowing Kane to come in for the running corner clotheslines. Kane has to fight out of the wrong corner but walks into V’s sitout chokebomb for two.

The splash to the back sets up what would become the Visagra before it’s back to Henry for the bearhug. Henry powers him back into the corner but Kane manages a running DDT for a needed breather. Punk comes back in to strike away at V, with the running knee in the corner rocking him hard. Kane and Henry fight up the aisle, leaving Punk to springboard into a Samoan drop to give V the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. Yeah this didn’t quite work, though there is only so much you can get out of this idea. At the end of the day, V is fairly limited in what he can do and Henry is only so much better. They played up the idea of Punk trying to fight the monsters but being in over his head physically, which is what caught him in the end. Kane was doing his thing, but there were limits to what you could do here.

From Championship Wrestling, August 9, 1986.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Frankie Lane/Brickhouse Brown

Brown goes after Studd to start and gets cut off with as much effort as you would expect. A bearhug goes on as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan, mocking Captain Lou Albano for writing a book. Bundy comes in and drives Brown into the corner for the tag to Lane. Everything breaks down and Lane is bounced off the giants. The Avalanche finishes (for a five count) at 3:15.

Rating: C. There is something fun about a team like Bundy and Studd, who are the definition of “what you see is what you get”. They’re big guys, they beat people up, and they don’t move a lot. Neither guy is trying to do anything more than the basics and yet it works rather well.

From Raw, September 30, 2002.

3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Rico is here with 3 Minute Warning. It’s a brawl to start and Booker elbows Rosey down for an early two. Jamal comes in to take over on Goldust, who can’t fight out of the wrong corner. Some clubberin keeps Goldust in trouble and Booker gets knocked off the apron. Goldust finally gets over for the tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned.

Everyone else is down so Booker busts out the Spinarooni, setting up the ax kick to Jamal. Rosey is late with the save so the referee has to pull up on the count in a pretty bad look. Rico superkicks Goldust and Booker gets planted, setting up Jamal’s top rope splash for the pin on Booker (why yes, this is in Booker’s hometown of Houston) at 6:34.

Rating: C. Nice enough in-ring debut here for 3 Minute Warning, who had been attacking a variety of people and now get a win over a popular team. The fact that it was over Booker in his hometown shouldn’t be surprising whatsoever, as that is just kind of what the company does. Either way, it could have been far worse and we got a fine debut.

From Summerslam 1998.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is the four man version of Kai En Tai, with Yamaguchi-San in their corner. Unfortunately the Oddities’ entrance, featuring a live performance by the Insane Clown Posse, is cut out, meaning no Kurrgan dancing. Golga (Earthquake under a mask) cleans house to start and steals Yamaguchi’s shoe.

Kurrgan comes in and shoves all four of them away to break up a quadruple team. Yamaguchi gets sent inside while Kurrgan dances on the floor. The Giant Silva (7’2) comes in and scares Kai En Tai off as this is not the most serious match. All four of them go after Silva and get nowhere so he stacks all four of them into the same corner for a big hip attack. Kai En Tai is knocked outside, leaving Silva to just walk around for a bit.

Golga comes in for the powerslam that could only come from Earthquake. A double dropkick staggers Golga and they manage a double slam, followed by a series of top rope splashes. The rapid fire elbows keep Golga down but he’s back up with a quadruple clothesline (you don’t see that one very often). Kurrgan comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luna Vachon slamming Yamaguchi. A double double chokeslam sets up a quadruple splash to pin Kai En Tai at 10:11.

Rating: C-. I have an unnatural fondness for the Oddities, with Kurrgan’s dancing being my ultimate guilty pleasure in wrestling. That being said, having this go on for ten minutes was insane, as there was no need for it to go even half that long. It’s a situation where getting in and getting out would have been a better way to go and the length dragged almost all of the fun out of the thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Again, this was fun. The biggest thing I get out of these collections is that some long time fans are running this channel. Rather than having a bunch of matches from the last ten years and a token 90s match, they went all over the place and had some fun with the material available. I had fun with this and that’s all you can ask for with something like this, as it isn’t exactly a concept that can go incredibly in depth.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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The Big Event
Date: August 28, 1986
Location: Exhibition Stadium, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 61,470
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Valiant, Ernie Ladd

So in March 1987, Wrestlemania III completely redefined the idea of a major wrestling show. However, less than a year earlier, there was this show, which is often forgotten by comparison. It is headlined by a major showdown between Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff, which is an absolutely red hot feud. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the Coliseum Video version of the show, which features a bunch of cuts to get it under two hours.

Gene Okerlund is in a helicopter over Toronto and we get some random short clips from the show. This is described as “the WWF and Hulkamania come to Toronto” in case you didn’t know what this was really about. We also hear about some of the card, which is always nice.

Funks vs. Killer Bees

Jimmy Hart is here with the Funks (Jimmy Jack/Hoss, the latter being better known as Dory Jr.). Hoss and Blair start things off with Blair taking over off some early slams. The Funks already need a breather on the floor before getting back inside for a double noggin knocker. Jack headlocks Brunzell and is promptly slammed down as well. Back in again and a crossbody gets two on Hoss before Blair cranks on the arm.

Hoss finally gets in an elbow and hands it back to Jack, who is taken into the wrong corner again. A sleeper has Jack in more trouble as Monsoon gets on Johnny V for cheering for the Funks. Hoss comes back in and sends Blair outside to FINALLY take over. Then the Bees do their mask deal and change spot, with Brunzell coming in for a clothesline to Hoss. Jack breaks up an abdominal stretch and the Bees switch again, with a small package finishing Jack at 6:43.

Rating: C. Nothing to see here, with the Bees’ cheating continuing to be a weird way to go. It’s a total heel move but for some reason it was supposed to be cheered. I’ve never gotten that as it never felt right. Just a basic opener, though the fans didn’t seem thrilled with seeing the Bees cheat multiple times to win.

Magnificent Muraco vs. King Tonga

Mr. Fuji is here with Muraco. We’re clipped into somewhere in the match with Tonga grabbing a hiptoss and a slam to send Muraco scurrying (yes scurrying) outside. We get a shot of a young fan as Muraco comes back in for some stalling. A dropkick sends Muraco outside again before Tonga starts in on the arm. Muraco’s monkey flip doesn’t work (Johnny: “Oopsie doopsie doo!”) and the arm cranking continues.

Fuji trips Tonga/Haku (as commentary keeps switching between the names) down to take over before Muraco sends him outside for a cane shot. Back in and we hit the nerve hold as we might as well be counting down to the time limit draw. About five arm drops don’t go anywhere so Tonga fights up and wins a strike off.

Muraco avoids a charge into the corner though and the leg is wrapped around the post. Back in and Muraco stays on the leg, setting up the Figure Four. With that broken up, Muraco goes up but gets slammed down. Tonga strikes away and hits a clothesline, followed by a high crossbody, only for time to expire at 11:24 shown of 20:00.

Rating: C-. It’s not exactly the most interesting match in the first place and I can’t imagine what it was like to have it go on almost twice at long. Throw in the fact that they were pretty clearly just filling time until the ending and it was even weaker. They did a nice job of hiding the clips, but it wasn’t an entertaining match in the first place.

Ted Arcidi vs. Tony Garea

Arcidi, a power guy, shoves Garea around without much trouble to start. Garea’s running shoulders don’t work as Arcidi is mainly just standing there. An elbow drops Garea but he kicks Arcidi in the face. The dropkick puts Arcidi down but he’s right back with a bearhug for the win at 2:40. Arcidi was horrible and this showed it even more.

Jimmy Hart has Adrian Adonis ready to face the Junkyard Dog and Hart is ready to get his revenge.

Adrian Adonis vs. Junkyard Dog

Jimmy Hart is here with Adonis, who jumps Dog before the bell. Dog fights back with the chain and Adonis is busted open for some headbutts to leave him rocked early. Adonis is headbutted to the floor, where another headbutt staggers him again. Dog headbutts him on the apron and then shoves the referee, allowing Hart to spray Dog in the face with the atomizer. A middle rope elbow gives Adonis two as I guess the bell did indeed ring off camera. Adonis knocks him outside where Hart jumps on the Dog, only for Dog to pull Adonis down. They slug it out on the floor and only Dog beats the count for the win at 4:12.

Rating: D. This didn’t work so well and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise. Adonis was still able to bump rather well but there was only so much that he could do with someone as slow as Dog. This was mainly Dog doing headbutts and then getting beaten up until the finish. In other words, a pretty usual Dog match for the time.

Dick Slater vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

A hammerlock sends Sharpe outside, which makes sense as he doesn’t want that bad arm to get even worse. Back in and Slater sends him right back to the floor as Monsoon calls out Sharpe on having a VERY slow healing injury, with the brace being on for eight years. Monsoon: “Why doesn’t he take the brace off and let it heal?” Johnny: “I DON’T KNOW! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE HIM OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT AND ASK HIM???”

Back in again and Sharpe gets in a shot but we’re clipped to Slater fighting back. Slater knocks him into the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. The elbow misses so Slater goes with a middle rope elbow into a jackknife rollup for the pin at 2:29 shown. Nothing to this one, again, though Johnny snapping on Monsoon was funny.

Bobby Heenan promises to get the masks off the Machines tonight. Oh and Paul Orndorff is going to win the WWF Title. He also hates the crowd calling him WEASEL.

Bobby Heenan/King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. The Machines/Captain Lou Albano

Ah the Machines. This would be Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan) and Super Machine (Bill Eadie, better known as Ax) with Giant Machine (guess) in their corner. Studd and Super start things off but it’s too early for Super to get in a slam, as Studd’s thing was no one could slam him. The fans chant about a WEASEL as Studd knocks Super down to take over. Back up and Super knocks Studd to the floor, where the Giant sends him back inside. Bundy comes in to face Big and a collision goes nowhere.

Big slugs away and avoids a charge in the corner before knocking Bundy down so Studd comes back in. Studd stomps Big down and NOW it’s off to Heenan, who goes after the mask. A single shot from Super cuts him off but it’s Big being taken back into the corner. Studd’s cheap shot from the apron cuts Big down for two so it’s back to Heenan, only for Albano to get the tag. Heenan backs up (as only he can) before Albano whips him upside down in the corner. Everything breaks down and the Giant comes in for the DQ at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This was the usual slow motion match from the Machines and Bundy/Studd, though Heenan was there to make it better. It’s not a good match or really anything close to it, but what matters is they got something out of the crowd. The Machines were the definition of goofy fun, but it would be nice if they had something to back it up in the ring.

Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat

Snake Pit Match, which basically means street fight. Roberts jumps him on the way in but Steamboat gets in a backdrop to send Roberts outside. That lets them get their entrance gear off before Steamboat chops away back inside. Steamboat starts in on the arm as Monsoon says that we were originally supposed to have a real snake and a real dragon in the corners but the whole safety thing prevented it.

The hammerlock keeps Roberts down as Johnny can’t remember the lake near the stadium. Steamboat chops him to the floor but Roberts takes over and drops some knees, with Steamboat hanging over the ring’s platform. Roberts takes too long to get a chair though and Steamboat takes it away for a hard shot of his own.

Back in and the top rope chop to the head gives Steamboat two as the fans are staying with this. The armbar goes on again but Roberts manages to whip him over the top for a big crash to the floor. A catapult sends Steamboat into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and Roberts hammers away, with the short arm clothesline putting Steamboat down. The DDT is blocked so Roberts grabs a backbreaker for two, only to pose too much, allowing Steamboat to get a sunset flip for the pin at 10:18.

Rating: B. Easily the match of the night here so far, with the fans being in there the whole time. Steamboat is someone who could make a comeback as well as anyone else and having him steal the win at the end was the perfect way to go. It was a good most, with Roberts feeling like he was out to hurt Steamboat, who was wrestling at a higher level and picked up the win in the end.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

It’s a Wrestlemania preview, with Monsoon on commentary alone for some reason and clearly doing a voiceover later. Haynes grabs a headlock and they trade leapfrogs until Hercules knocks him down. We’re clipped to Hercules grabbing a bearhug but Haynes headclaps his way out. They collide for a double down before Haynes elbows him in the face. A backbreaker looks to set up the full nelson but Hercules throws him outside instead. Hercules suplexes him back in and gets two off a clothesline. Haynes comes back with a quick backslide for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad, but at the same time there is only so much you can get out of these two having such similar styles. Their bigger match at Wrestlemania wasn’t that much better and it’s mainly due to the clash of styles. You rarely see two people with the same style having a good match and that was on display here.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

Another Wrestlemania preview and commentary (including Johnny, the Dream Team’s manager) is back. The villains jump them to start but the Rougeaus come back with a slingshot sunset flip for two on Valentine. Jacques drops a knee on Valentine and we hit the abdominal stretch (yes Monsoon complains).

With that broken up, Beefcake comes in for a powerslam and his own two. Raymond gets taken into the corner for a middle rope shot to the head. Raymond gets in a crossbody for two and it’s back to Jacques for a double dropkick. An atomic drop cuts Jacques off (and gives him a rather high pitched scream) so Beefcake can take him into the corner. Everything breaks down and the Rougeaus ram them into each other, setting up the Cannonball for two. Valentine sends Jacques into the apron as we go to a wide shot to show the crowd.

Jacques gets rammed into the apron again before Beefcake hits a big backbreaker on Raymond. A suplex gives Beefcake two and Valentine grabs a bearhug, with a tag to Jacques not counting. Raymond gets whipped hard into the corner but Valentine misses the big elbow. The hot tag brings in Jacques to clean house, including a double dropkick as Johnny is losing his mind. Jacques misses his middle rope elbow so Valentine slaps on the Figure Four. Raymond makes the save as everything breaks down and a sunset flip pins Valentine at 14:55.

Rating: B-. Another good match here, with the extra time helping a bit. They built things up with the heat on both Rougeaus and Johnny going absolutely nuts on commentary helped a lot. It made for a good match as the glory days of the tag division were coming soon, with the Rougeaus being a forgotten part of the lineup.

Johnny has to be held back in the commentary booth. To make things even worse, Monsoon points out that the wrong Rougeau got the pin, which has Johnny’s eyes bugging out in a funny bit.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

This would have been a fascinating match a mere ten years earlier. We’re joined in progress with Morales throwing those big lefts to send Race to the floor. Race trips him down and sends him over the timekeeper’s table. The falling headbutt hits Morales again and a posting makes it worse. Back in and Morales hits a suplex and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip out of the corner gives Morales two but Race rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:23.

Rating: C. Morales was great in his day but it just wasn’t working at this point. You could see that it wasn’t there anymore, even in a short match like this one. Race was able to make anyone look better though and he pulled it off again here, at least as much as you could given the circumstances.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

Orndorff, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging and has the stolen Real American theme music. Since Hogan uses the same thing, they just let the song keep playing for both entrances. Orndorff jumps him before the bell and they roll around on the mat as the crowd is on fire. Hogan hammers away but the referee PULLS HOGAN’S HAIR to get him away. Dang it why can’t Jesse Ventura be on commentary here?

Back up and Hogan knocks him to the floor so Orndorff pulls Hogan outside for an exchange of rams into the apron. They get back inside where Hogan drops an elbow and an atomic drop sends Heenan into the corner. We pause for Hogan to go after Heenan, which is enough of a distraction for Orndorff to catch Hogan coming back inside. A big clothesline sends Hogan to the floor and there’s a suplex to drop him again.

Hogan starts to get back in, which Monsoon calls “guts personified”. We’re just over four minutes into a match where Hogan has been in control for a good chunk. Monsoon has a low standard for “guts personified”. Some elbows to the chest have Hogan in trouble on the apron and a rather hard one sends him to the apron.

Back in and Hogan gets dropped again so he reaches out to the crowd in one of those things that will always work. Orndorff hits a top rope right hand to the jaw but the piledriver is broken up. That earns Hogan a bite to the face and a belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up. A jumping knee sends Orndorff into the referee in the corner and Hogan holds up Orndorff’s arm for a clotheslines (how Orndorff turned on him). Hogan loads up a piledriver, which draws in Heenan with a stool to the back of the head. The VERY delayed cover gets….nothing as the referee calls for the DQ at 11:07.

Rating: B-. Another perfectly acceptable match here, with the ending designed to set up the rematches, which was one of the best house show runs the company has ever seen. Orndorff was a great change of pace heel for Hogan, who was best known for fighting the monsters. It was more in the Roddy Piper mold and that was certainly something Hogan could do very well. Not a great match, but the fans were eating it up.

Post match Orndorff puts the belt on and then freaks out at the announcement (as the referee appears near death in the corner). Orndorff stomps away but Hogan fights up and cleans house.

Slow motion replays and the credits take us out.

Overall Rating: C. The good matches are strong enough to carry this one to another level, but it’s still only so strong of a show. The problem is the bad matches really drag things down, as you’re not going to get much out of the midcard stuff here. What matters the most here is the massive crowd, which really is worth a look. Not a great show, but if you’re wanting to see what the company was doing in an era that is often forgotten, it’s worth a quick look.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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So this is something new that I’m trying, as I recently purchased access to an INCREDIBLE treasure trove of wrestling from around the world and throughout history. It’s almost exclusively NOT WWF/E stuff so expect quite the variety. There is all kinds of stuff that I’ve never even heard of before (including a weekly French series from the early 90s for a real twist). I’m not sure how often I’ll be doing these but more wrestling is a good thing (in theory).

WWF Cage Match Compilation Volume I

Ok so it’s mostly non-WWF but they do have a collection of about 70 cage matches from the company, including quite a few fan cam recordings from house shows. That is going to make for quite the look back, though some of these are from major shows that you have probably seen before. I’ll be doing them at random in a series so let’s get to it.

Superstar Billy Graham vs. Butch Reed
Date: October 16, 1987
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,700
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Nick Bockwinkel

This is from Graham’s last run in wrestling and he only had a handful (ok two big handfuls) of matches before he hung it up for good. These two feuded for a good while during this run, though Graham’s body is rapidly deteriorating as he is already wrestling with a replaced hip and it’s only getting worse.

Before the match, we need to put the cage together (a thing that I miss but is completely impractical in the days of just hanging it above the ring). While that is taking place, we get some pre-match promos.

Graham talks about having Reed in the bearhug and now he’s ready to be locked in the cage so no one can interfere whatsoever.

Reed is ready to be in there man against man, and the REAL man is the only one leaving. Guess who that is supposed to be.

We go to the actual match and Reed jumps him on the way in to start fast. Graham is sent head first into the cage as Bockwinkel says this is like a prison cell. What kind of jails do they have in the AWA territory??? Anyway, Reed sends him into the cage and then uses Graham’s own bandanna to tie him to said cage. Reed charges into a knee though and Graham slips out.

This time it’s Reed going into the cage and Graham gets to choke with a shirt. It’s too early for Graham to get out as Bockwinkel thinks Graham’s knee might be his Achilles tendon. You were one word away from a perfect illustration. Reed gets caught trying to escape and Graham grabs a quickly broken sleeper. The ram into the cage lets Reed crank on the leg but Graham pulls him down.

A low blow doesn’t do much to Reed, who goes right back to the bad hip. Reed gets caught trying to climb out and the bearhug has him in trouble. That’s broken up with another ram into the cage but Graham pulls him down again. With the climbing not working, Reed pulls out some brass knuckles but misses a few shots, allowing Graham to use them on Reed instead. Graham dives (work with me here) out of the door to win at 11:04.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great technical showdown, but that’s not what they were going for here. This was about Graham getting some revenge on Reed by hitting him in the face/sending him into the cage. The fans were still reacting to Graham and you could see the (super) star power, but the injuries were catching up to him way too fast to really be effective in a bigger way. Reed was good as usual, and for a big house show cage match, it worked well.

WWWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Stan Hansen
Date: August 7, 1976
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 22,000
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Bruno is defending (of course) and this is a rematch from Showdown At Shea, which was a rematch from when Hansen broke Bruno’s neck. We get the ESCAPE ONLY explanation and Hansen looks like a monster during his introduction. Bruno gets a heck of a reception (shocking I know) and after some Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Hansen jumps him to start but Bruno fights right back and sends him into the cage to an awesome roar. Some stomping puts Bruno down for a bit but he fights back again and sends Hansen into the cage.

It’s too early for Hansen to escape so he hammers away some more, earning a stomping from Bruno for a change. A shot to the ribs slows Bruno down but Hansen misses the elbow. Bruno grabs a reverse chinlock (or Boston crab according to Vince) before just stepping on Hansen’s face. What looks to be a low blow gets Hansen out of trouble but Bruno is still fine enough to catch him trying to escape.

We get some boots to Hansen’s head (there is something awesome about the way Bruno swings his leg so wide as he kicks someone) so Hansen goes with another low blow (or “foul” as Vince calls it). Another escape attempt is cut off for another ram into the cage, this time busting Hansen open. Bruno ties him in the ropes and unloads on him as Hansen is almost out. One more big right hand drops Hansen and Bruno walks out to retain at 10:43.

Rating: B-. This was a good old fashioned fight as Bruno didn’t so much care about the title as much as he wanted revenge on Hansen. Bruno always looked best when he was ticked off and just wanted to hit someone in the face over and over, which is exactly what you got here. You can feel the emotion when Bruno is in the ring, as even someone like Hansen is just overwhelmed. Very fun match and the crowd’s reaction to Bruno is incredible.

Post match the rather bloody Hansen gets up and poses before collapsing again. Vince: “Hansen, absolute annihilated here.” That’s about the size of it, yeah.

Andre The Giant vs. Big John Studd
Date: September 24, 1983
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,983
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

We see Andre walking through the tunnel in the back and my goodness it’s such an imposing visual. That’s a big part of the appeal and dang does it work. Studd jumps him on the way in and stomps Andre down in the corner (that’s a weird sight) but the ram into the cage is blocked. Andre sends him into the cage a few times and Studd is already busted open.

Some rams into the other cage walls (just to be a completionist) have Studd staggered until he elbows Andre in the face a few times. Studd tries to leave so Andre sits on him for a rather painful cut off. Back up and Studd grabs a front facelock but gets cut off rather quickly for daring to try an escape.

Andre has to dive to cut off another escape attempt as Gorilla isn’t sure what size boot Andre wears. Back up and Andre sends him into the cage a few times but Studd hits a big clothesline. Studd’s next escape attempt is cut off with a legdrop to the back of the head and there’s the slam (good for $10,000). Andre goes nuclear by heading up top for a super sitdown splash. Since Studd is pretty much crushed beyond repair, Andre walks out to win at 10:04.

Rating: C+. Remember how I said the visual of Andre walking to the ring was awesome? The visual of him jumping off the top to crush an innocent human being is even better. I’ve seen him do it before but if there is a bigger ultimate finish in the WWF’s history, it’s a new one on me. Studd was one of the few people who could match size with Andre and he did well enough here, but there was no stopping the force that was Andre.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: June 28, 1982
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund is defending and it’s escape only again, albeit this time ONLY through the door (As apparently Backlund’s manager Arnold Skaaland thinks Snuka is too good at jumping over the cage. That’s quite a cop out for a heroic champion.) Snuka has Captain Lou Albano with him, like any good villain of the day should. Backlund tells him to get inside before grabbing him by the hair to start fast.

Some stomps have Snuka in trouble and Backlund strikes away, even headbutting Snuka without hurting himself. Snuka fires off some chops and knees as this is much more of a brawl so far. It’s Backlund going into the cage first as Vince talks about how there are TWO opponents each here, getting all philosophical you see. There’s the big whip into the cage and a backbreaker keeps Backlund in trouble.

The middle rope forearm/headbutt connects but it’s way too early for Snuka to escape. Backlund gets all fired up and punches away, setting up the catapult into the cage. Snuka is busted open and you know (at least you should) that a ticked off Backlund is going to go after that. A shot to the chest cuts Backlund off again though and an elbow….does nothing as pins don’t count here. Backlund gets suplexed but the splash off the top of the cage misses, allowing him to escape and retain at 10:25.

Rating: C+. This was just starting to get good when it wrapped up and that’s rather annoying. The splash off the cage looked like the big epic finish and Backlund escaping after it misses worked well enough, but the anger and hatred were just starting to flow here when they wrapped up. This was a huge feud at the time though and it’s easy to see why Snuka was a huge star the second he turned.

Post match Backlund says he kind of liked getting to hurt Snuka like that. He likes going out the door anyway because he wants more of a contest than a fight. Backlund respects Snuka’s power and athleticism and he’s ready for his next challenger, who might be Cowboy Bob Orton.

Vince gives us a quick backstory, saying Backlund and Orton were going to wrestle in high school but Backlund got hurt and couldn’t do it. As a result, Orton thinks he’s a coward but Backlund is ready to prove that he’s the better man. Backlund doesn’t have much say in who he faces but he’s requesting to face Orton. Total “bye golly’s” in this five minute interview: four. Oh and a “hello mom and dad”.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Date: January 11, 1987
Location: Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny V.

Hogan is defending and I’m surprised it took this long to get to one of his matches. In a rare moment, this is described as a ten foot cage instead of the traditional fifteen. Kamala has the Wizard and Kim Chee with him to uneven the odds a bit. Hogan has his face painted up and slaps his stomach on the way to the ring so Kamala uses the belt to beat the racial stereotypes out of him. Hogan fights back and chokes with the bandanna but has to block some cage shots.

There’s the back rake but Kamala sends him into the cage as Monsoon talks about Whipper Billy Watson. A leg dive keeps Kamala inside but he chops Hogan down. The splash connects as Gorilla talks about Kamala’s cannibalistic tendencies but it’s already Hulk Up time. The bloody Hogan sends him into the cage over and over and there’s quite the slam. Hogan drops the leg so Chee and the Wizard jump the referee and come in. That doesn’t work for Hogan, who beats all three of them up and goes through the door to retain at 6:19.

Rating: C. The match was nothing but Hogan came off like an absolute superhero here. He shrugged off Kamala’s biggest stuff, beat up the cheating managers, and walked out to retain in short order. The fans were going nuts for this too and I can’t say I blame them, as this is the Hogan that felt like the strongest force in the universe. How could you cheer for him?

Post match the villains go after him again and get beaten up, again! Posing ensues.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff
Date: January 3, 1987
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Hogan is defending and this is a famous one, from Saturday Night’s Main Event #9. Before the match, Orndorff’s manager, promises to make Hogan the paper that lines a bird cage. Danny Davis is here as the second referee and yeah that is going to mean shenanigans. In the back, Hogan says the cage is the last resort. They both come out to Real American in a still awesome angle. Orndorff grabs the belt again for some shots but Hogan reaches for the ankle.

Hogan catches him on top as well, with Orndorff having to be dragged back over (Ventura: “Hogan would not be the champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald.” That line has cracked me up for over thirty years now.). Back down and Hogan punches away but Orndorff catches him on top. Orndorff misses some elbows and the comeback (I think?) is on but Davis doesn’t have the door unlocked in time. Some knees to the head rock Hogan again and stereo rams into the cage leave both of them down. They both climb up and get to the ground….at the same time at 6:45, with one referee each saying they both win.

It’s a tie, so we’ll get them back inside and keep going. Back from a break with Orndorff throwing him back inside and getting in some cheap shots. A fist drop triggers the comeback and Ventura isn’t happy. Some rams into the cage set up a backbreaker of all things into the legdrop. Heenan tries to break it up but Hogan shrugs him off, beats them both up and leaves to retain at 16:34.

Rating: B-. This was billed as the first cage match in network television history (accurate) and it felt like a big deal. Hogan vs. Orndorff had been a massive feud so giving them this big of a blowoff made sense. The stuff in the middle added some drama and as usual, the chemistry was rolling between these two. Hogan was off to something bigger though, which Orndorff would have to settle for the end of the biggest run of his career.

In the back, Heenan promises to get the footage of the match and show it to Jack Tunney because Orndorff is the champion. I still want one of those WWF duffle bags.

Hogan isn’t worried about Heenan’s plan.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus
Date: December 27, 1989
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is The Match from No Holds Barred: The Movie/The Match. Since the movie was falling apart, Vince McMahon tried this idea: get the movie on pay per view and see this match as well, as the big blowoff to the Hogan vs. Zeus feud (which would eventually be available on the original Supertape, which I’ve seen roughly 183 times). Hogan rips off Beefcake’s shirt but won’t let Beefcake do the same. That’s why he has no friends. Sherri, apparently a Beefcake fan, sends the cage door into Hogan’s face to drop him outside, leaving Beefcake two on one.

Since it’s Hogan, that lasts all of thirty seconds before Hogan punches Savage through the bars and climbs over the top to clean house. Zeus gets sent into the cage a few times to take over but he sends Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to drop both of them. Savage goes up but Beefcake breaks that up as well. The sleeper doesn’t last long on Zeus so the villains send Beefcake and Hogan into the cage a few times each. For some reason Savage and Zeus try to climb over the top, earning stereo suplexes back down.

All four are down so the referee tries to go inside (because he doesn’t understand the rules), allowing Sherri to ram him with the door as well. Sherri gives Savage the chain as he goes to the top of the cage but Beefcake manages to punch him out of the air. Savage and Beefcake fight on the side of the cage until Beefcake escapes and Hulk Hulks Up. With Beefcake dragging Savage out of the cage, Hogan sends Zeus into it a few more times. A slam sets up THREE LEGDROPS (GEEZ) for the pin at 9:44. Jesse: “I don’t believe it, he did it again!”.

Rating: C+. Watching this back, it is the definition of a post show dark match to send the fans home happy as other than Savage jumping off the cage, there really wasn’t anything special to this. Hogan dropping that many legs made it feel big, but the match itself is just pretty good. The nostalgia is strong enough though and Hogan was over like free beer in a frat house, so it’s the definition of good, easy fun.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson
Date: September 24, 1979
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund, with Arnold Skaaland, is defending and Patterson’s Intercontinental title isn’t on the line. Vince says that this is the fourth time the two have fought at MSG, apparently the first time a match has happened that many times at the Garden. Backlund starts fast and sends Patterson into the cage a few times as the fans are rather pleased. It’s rather too early for either to escape so Backlund cages him again.

Patterson cuts him off for a change and rams him a few times, only to get caught at the door. With that not working, Patterson tries to climb out so Backlund goes up as well. They slug it out on top until Backlund barely makes a save for a double crash back to the mat. In a change of pace, Patterson goes for the door but gets caught, then goes over the top but gets caught.

What appears to be a foreign object busts Backlund open and Patterson hammers at the cut. Backlund gets up for a hard shot of his own and they’re both down again. Patterson pulls him down so Backlund hits a catapult into the cage to bust him open as well. The atomic drop hits Patterson but he catches Backlund on top. The swing with the foreign object misses but they crash back down anyway. Backlund kicks him away and backs out of the door to retain at 16:41.

Rating: C+. This one took some getting into and it was only so good. They did a lot of the same things over and over and it didn’t exactly work. Backlund was trying here and Patterson was usually good but something was holding them back. Maybe they needed to mix it up a bit but this didn’t get beyond pretty good.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele
Date: July 25, 1970
Location: Philadelphia Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sammartino is defending and this is the earliest match in the set. There is no commentary here and we see the cage put up by a guy in an undershirt for a weird visual. The ring announcer even tells us what the two of them will be wearing in a smart touch. Bruno starts fast and unloads with those kicks in the corner that he made look very good. The choking is on in the corner as it’s all Bruno to start.

Steele cuts him off from an early exit so Bruno unloads with some ax handles to the chest. A ram into the cage cuts Bruno off for once and the stomping ensues. Bruno manages to kick his way up from the mat (that’s awesome) to take over again and Steele is sent into the steel. Steele is allowed to go up but Bruno pulls him right back down for another crash.

A low blow gets Bruno out of trouble but he’s right back up and hammers Steele in the head. Bruno gets in those big stomps to the head and then chokes away until Steele goes to the eyes. Raking of the face has Bruno gyrating a bit and the fans are all over Steele. The blind Bruno swings away so Steele sends him into the corner for more stomping. Finally Bruno has had enough and just erupts, firing Steele into the cage over and over and stomping away. With Steele properly destroyed, Bruno walks out to retain at 14:34.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s just fun. The crowd carries it a lot as they are absolutely rabid for Bruno and that comeback at the end had them looking like they were ready to kill Steele. It’s a very different era and they aren’t doing anything more than basic stuff, but my goodness the reactions and energy from Bruno are both great.

Jesse Ventura vs. Tony Atlas
Date: May 22, 1982
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,513
Commentators: Dick Graham, Kal Rudman

As usual, Jesse is great at being a heel, as he walks around the ring and yells at various people, like a villain should. Jesse takes his sweet time getting in and immediately tries to escape, only to be pulled back down to start the beating. Right hands and elbows have Ventura down fast but he blocks some rams into the cage. A headbutt puts him down instead but Ventura is back up with a failed ram of his own.

Ventura cheap shots him and sends Atlas into the cage to bust him open. A bite to the arm and an atomic drop keep Atlas in trouble as commentary is a bit stunned. For some reason it takes Ventura way too long to figure out how to get out of the cage, meaning the beating can be on again. Some rams into the cage bust Ventura open and then does it again to make it worse. Ventura hits him low for a breather but again takes way too long to go out. This time it takes so long that Atlas gets up, hops over the cage and escapes to win at 10:36.

Rating: C+. They were having a good fight until the kind of weird ending, as Atlas just suddenly remembered he had maxed out leaping ability and won. Ventura getting outsmarted, or at least outjumped, was kind of a weird way to go, but at least they had a unique way out. Not a great match, but it was getting good there at times.

Bruno Sammartino/Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper/Bob Orton Jr.
Date: October 26, 1985
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

Before the match, Sammartino says he isn’t climbing over the top, but rather walking out the door after he has destroyed Piper and Orton. Yes Sammartino is a little older but he is ready to take these two out.

One more thing: before the match, we hear about next month’s card. This will include:

David Sammartino
Corporal Kirchner
Hercules Hernandez
Hart Foundation vs. Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim
Big John Studd vs. Hillbilly Jim (listed as a correction)
Don Muraco/Mr. Fuji vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat
King Kong Bundy vs. Andre The Giant

Freaking WOOF man, and the show itself would be even worse.

Anyway, all four are in at once here but in a twist, only one has to escape. It’s a brawl to start and Bruno is busted rather quickly. Orndorff slugs back to take over, including taking Orton’s cast and using it to smash Piper in the head. Piper is busted open and panics as he tries to escape, only to be pulled back inside.

Bruno is back up as well and starts unloading on Piper (as only Bruno can) but a cheap shot takes him down. Everyone is busted and we hit stereo chinlocks (that’s a new one in a cage match) but the good guys are up rather quickly. Orndorff and Orton go up and over at the same time, with Orndorff hitting the ground first for the win at 7:33.

Rating: B-. As has been the case, this was getting somewhere and then it ended before it could turn into something really good. What matters here is that Bruno got to look like a killer again as the awesome Piper vs. Orndorff feud continues. I could go for either combination of this again and that is because there was some awesome talent in there. Good stuff here, but it could have been better.

Post match Orton gets right back in and Bruno is left laying. Because THAT’S a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Magnificent Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: October 17, 1983
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

You might have heard of this one and Muraco is defending. Before the match, a serious Muraco talks about the experience you need in a cage match and how he is still champion because he is the best.

Snuka’s manager Buddy Rogers talks about how Snuka will win because he is the best.

Snuka promises violence in the cage, as only he can bring.

We get the entrances from the backstage, including the famous fan sign “When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.” Snuka checks the cage and looks up, with a certain Hardcore Legend Mick Foley clearly seen in the crowd after hitch hiking because he had to see this match in person. Snuka goes right after him to start and chops against the ropes but a catapult sends him into the cage.

Another shot puts Muraco back down and Snuka goes up, but Muraco knows what that means and cuts him off quick. A slam off the top brings Snuka back down, followed by a low blow to keep him down. Back up and Snuka’s chops bust Muraco open to make it even worst. The middle rope forearm to the head sets up a flying headbutt….and Muraco goes sprawling through the door to retain at 6:46.

Rating: C+. Oddly enough, for one of the most famous moments ever in wrestling, the match is pretty much nothing. Muraco was terrified of letting Snuka get up top and then absolutely lucked his way into retaining. Snuka was so obsessed with violence and revenge that he kind of screwed himself over, but you could feel the intensity here, which is one of the places where Snuka often shined.

Snuka isn’t having that and pulls Muraco back in for a suplex. Then he climbs the cage and, in one of the most famous shots in WWF history, dives off with the splash to END Muraco (who sells it perfectly and doesn’t move an inch). Snuka drops the belt on him and poses before leaving.

Post match, Muraco’s manager Lou Albano says that Muraco is hurt but not destroyed. Muraco survived the most dangerous move in wrestling history and Albano goes on a rant about how Muraco fell out of the door COMPLETELY on purpose because he’s that smart.

Overall Rating: B-. The overall rating doesn’t mean much here as it’s just a random assortment of matches but there really isn’t a great one on here. A lot of these are rather short but what matters is how much the energy is cranked up. This was about beating the fire out of each other and it did show just how intense things can get when the cage is involved. Good enough stuff here, and I’ve got more than enough of these for a few extra volumes, which sounds rather appealing.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 4, 1986
Location: Wicomico Youth & Civic Center, Salisbury, Maryland
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Last week’s show was certainly eventful as we had a debut, a near debut and two future stars working as jobbers. There’s nothing on the horizon at the moment but that means we can get some more time spent building up house shows for the time being. That alone should be fun so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Gorilla Monsoon and Luscious Johnny V. (the latter not speaking, as usual) welcome us to the show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming on the show.

Harley Race vs. Allen Martin

Bobby Heenan is here with Race, hence him not being on commentary to start. We get an insert interview, with Race saying everyone should be taking a knee to him. Powerslam, suplex, middle rope knee drop, fisherman’s suplex and Martin is done at 1:12.

The Machines are unhappy about the lack of sushi, geisha girls and fried rice in American hotels.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Bob Bradley/Steve Regale

The Rougeaus clean house to start and we get an insert promo from the Rougeaus in French. Bradley is sent hard into the corner and Regale gets the same treatment. Raymond adds some nice looking slams but Bradley gets in a shot of his own. Not that it matters as Bradley misses a top rope splash and Le Bombe de Rougeau finishes him at 2:42. The Rougeaus were energetic enough and the finish looked great.

Corporal Kirchner talks about how he has been coming up the ranks and would love to get in the Intercontinental Title hunt. He is used to fighting in the swamps and yeah Miss Elizabeth is a distraction at ringside. She doesn’t have the Intercontinental Title though and he won’t be focusing on her. Kirchner sounded nothing like I was expecting and didn’t exactly sound serious here.

We get a clip of the showdown between Piper’s Pit and the Flower Shop. Bob Orton Jr. is asked which show is better and says it’s the Flower Shop, hands down. Piper looks on from the next set over before coming over to call Adonis ugly. He even goes so far to take Orton’s (pink) cowboy hat and slaps Adonis on the chest. Adonis is so flustered he can’t speak and we pan over to Piper’s Pit, much to the fans’ delight.

Piper thinks Adonis looks ridiculous and brings out Don Muraco, who was hosting the Body Shop in Jesse Ventura’s absence. Muraco doesn’t know what show he’s on so here is Adonis to insult the Pit. Piper takes out Adonis’ bra and Muraco says this is a cartoon. Muraco says Adonis can do what he wants but Piper goes into a rant about how he doesn’t wants his kids seeing Adonis.

Orton and Adonis come over and Adonis breaks a flower pot over Piper’s head. The other two hold Piper down so Adonis can wreck his leg with a chair. The Pit is torn down and Piper is left laying. Adonis even smears lipstick all over Piper’s face and you can feel the heat from this one. It was going to be a huge deal and egads Piper’s responses should be incredible.

The Rebel Dick Slater (complete with confederate flag) talks about how he is awesome and wants a title shot. Oh and he doesn’t like Paul Orndorff either.

Dick Slater vs. Tiger Chung Lee

We get an insert promo from Slater, talking about how much he loves the south and promises attitude adjustments. Slater drives him up against the ropes and grabs a headlock but Lee goes to the throat. Some right hands set up a sleeper but Slater is out in about 1.2 seconds. Slater slugs away, hits a top rope shoulder, and finishes with a top rope elbow to the head for the pin at 2:54. Slater could not be more of a cliché if he tried and it really didn’t work.

We go to the Snake Pit, with Jake Roberts bringing out Slick and Butch Reed. This leads to a rant about how natural Reed is on all counts and Roberts can’t find a flaw in him. So, he’s natural. Got it.

WWF has figures made by LJN! Sweet goodness I remember those things.

WWF has thumb wrestlers! Sweet goodness I remember those things.

Dream Team vs. Jerry Allen/Don Hastings

Valentine and Allen start things off with Valentine actually getting slammed down. We get an insert promo from the Dream Team, talking about how great their manager Johnny V. is going to be on commentary. Beefcake comes in and gets beaten down as well but referee Danny Davis cuts Hastings off for no apparent reason. After a heck of a rant from Gorilla, Beefcake hits a heck of a backbreaker and Valentine gets the Figure Four for the win at 2:45. Not quite a squash, but the Davis stuff is the most interesting part.

Junkyard Dog vs. Jimmy Jack Funk

Dog’s insert promo isn’t overly impressed with Funk. Dog slams him down to start but Funk is back with some right hands to take over. Funk misses a dive though and the headbutts knock him silly. Back up and Dog slugs away in the corner and hits a running clothesline, followed by a head knocker of all things. Funk punches away and Dog does the same before grabbing an abdominal stretch of all things. With that broken up, Dog finally finishes him with the Thump at 4:39.

Rating: D-. This was TERRIBLE, as it was little more than a bunch of punching, which didn’t look great either. Dog had been around for a bit but this was a time where he clearly wasn’t trying and it looked sad in a way. Granted there was only so much to be done here, but this was a chore to sit through, which says a lot in a match that wasn’t even five minutes long.

Dog dances with a kid after the match.

Bobby Heenan’s hand is tired from signing so many contracts for Harley Race and Paul Orndorff. He wants to face Hulk Hogan and the Machines but knows they won’t sign. Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy come in, with Studd introducing the two of them, with Bundy being happy over how many people he has injured. They’re ready for anyone.

Here’s who will be around next week.

Overall Rating: D+. That feature match dragged this one down a good bit. Even with the good enough promos and the squash matches working, you’re only going to get so far when the biggest thing you do (at least in the ring) is that bad. That being said, the Piper vs. Adonis stuff, while silly on the surface, has the potential to be a major breakout feud and I’m already looking forward to Piper’s response. Good show with a horrible match bringing it down.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 13, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the second episode and there is one simple question: how many times can Ernie Ladd use the terms “without a doubt” or “without a shadow of a doubt”? Last time was roughly 47 each in a show that didn’t even last an hour so he could get in his two statements dozens more time if he puts his mind to trying. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Funks vs. George Steele/Junkyard Dog

Unfortunately it’s Jimmy Jack instead of Terry (with Jimmy Hart). Slightly more fortunately, Steele and Dog have Lou Albano with them. After Steele stops to eat a turnbuckle, Dog fires off some headbutts to clear out the Funks again. We actually start with Hoss (Dory) being rammed into the corner as Albano gives us an inset interview to talk about Steele and Dog working together well because they’re so different. He goes on so long that the inset window goes away mid sentence, which might be the best idea.

Steele gets taken into the corner as commentary bickers incessantly. It’s off to Dog for an awkward collision with Jimmy Jack in the corner and let’s try some hogtying! Steele makes the save with a chair and it’s a belly to back suplex to finish Jimmy Jack at 2:19. Somehow this was bad even in such a short amount of time.

Post match Jimmy Jack gets hogtied for fun. Then the winners, including Albano, dance as we get a referee (ignore the one count coming before Dog had the cover).

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from the Hart Foundation, who don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been called Beer Belly and Greaseball but Bret says they’re the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Dang he got that one in earlier than I thought.

Kamala vs. Mario Mancini

Kamala (or Kamalee according to Lord Alfred Hayes) has Wizard and Kim Chee with him. After taking a good bit of time to get rid of his stuff, Kamala chops away on Mancini, even after he’s already down. The inset promo from the Wizard (identified as Curtis Iaukea by Monsoon) talks about getting a monster in Singapore as the squash continues. A kick to the ribs sets up more chops and the splash finishes Mancini at 1:59.

Captain Lou Albano talks about his psychologists/gynecologists (right) working with George Steele. Intelligence aside, he has the heart of a lion and knows every move. He may not use them, but he knows them you see. Steele grew up with a lisp but had a steel plate put over his tongue in a failed attempt to cure his speech impediment. Now he’s fighting….multiple sclerosis? Well that got serious quickly. Steele says he was told to be vicious, so he’ll do be vicious to Randy Savage.

Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke vs. Jack Kruger/Joe Mirto

The Hillbillies get jumped from behind to start but get cleared out without much trouble. Jim beats on Mirto as we hear from Jimmy Hart, who is sending his boys after the Hillbillies because he doesn’t like country music. Luke slams Mirto but misses an elbow, allowing Kruger to come in. Ladd says Luke’s tennis shoes are called “burglar boots” where he’s from as Luke fights up and brings Jim back in. A double slam sets up a bearhug to finish Kruger at 2:37. Hillbilly Jim was fun but adding in his relatives dragged the act down fast.

Interviewer Ken Resnick talks about how many great teams there are here and brings in the undefeated Rougeaus. They want to face every team to get their hands on the British Bulldogs for the Tag Team Titles. They inspire each other and while they respect the Bulldogs, they like the titles more. Both of them are a bit chatty but they were a fine team.

Honky Tonk Man is coming soon and talks about going out dancing last night with the 57 Chevy top down. He wants Paul Orndorff too. This gimmick as a face is an all time WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moment.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Roger Kirby

Steamboat leapfrogs him a few times to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. The armdrags into an armbar put Kirby down and that works so well that Steamboat does it again. An atomic drop gets Kirby out of trouble and he kind of awkwardly kicks at Steamboat in what might have been a bit of miscommunication. Steamboat can’t chop out of the corner but he can ram Kirby into the buckle. Kirby is fine enough to knock him into the ropes though and Steamboat’s leg gets tied up. Back in and Steamboat slides between the legs, hits a slam, and finishes with the high crossbody at 4:23.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as Steamboat was beaten up more than you would have expected him to be. That being said, I could watch Steamboat all day as there are very few people who can make wrestling look so smooth. That slide through the legs and high crossbody looked great and Steamboat is one of the only few who can pull that off.

We go to the Snake Pit with Hillbilly Jim as this week’s guest. Jake talks about putting together one of his mom’s recipes but Jim isn’t impressed. Instead, Jake tells him to stomp twice if he doesn’t understand him. Jim says he’ll stay quiet and let the fools talk. They trade witty expressions (Jake’s is about a bird and Jim says sometimes the lights are on but no one is home). This was a weird one even by Jake standards.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Billy Jack Hayes/Paul Roma

Hayes can’t get anywhere with Studd so we’ll go with an insert promo from Harley Race, who brags about being a king. Studd has to block some slam attempts and hands it off to Bundy for an elbow to the face. The splash misses in the corner though and Roma comes in to clean house. That must last for a full seven seconds before Bundy hits the Avalanche in the corner for the pin at 2:34.

Corporal Kirchner/Jim Powers/Salvatore Bellomo vs. Hercules/Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Slick and Freddie Blassie are here with the villains. It’s a big brawl to start as the Americans break up the Russian national anthem (which earned some trash in the ring). We settle down to Sheik suplexing Bellomo and Hercules coming in to knee Powers in the ribs. As commentary suggests that Slick has an army of ladies of the evening in his employment, Sheik hits a running crotch attack to the back of the neck. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham, talking about his chimney being made of human skulls. With that out of the way, Hercules torture racks Powers for the win at 2:54.

Jimmy Hart and the Hart Foundation don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been accused of cheating and insist it is their skill/muscle that make them great. They’re coming for the British Bulldogs.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Here is your musical review to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. They keep this show moving and that is a lot of fun every time. It is great to see the show have so much packed into about 45 minutes as opposed to one thing dominating the show. This was another easy to watch show and we’re inching closer to some of the biggest stuff the WWF will ever do, so it’s just getting started.

 

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Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

The first Wrestlemania is one of those shows that really doesn’t need an introduction. While it’s really just a very glorified house show, it was clear that there was something special about this show. This is the start of a new way of life in professional wrestling and everything is about to change. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of shots of the matches tonight with the Wrestlemania logo in the middle. Not exactly high thinking stuff but it was a simpler time.

Gorilla (with more hair than you’ll ever see him have) welcomes us to the show and throws it to the Fink who introduces Gene Okerlund to sing the Star Spangled Banner. This is one of the only times it wouldn’t be America the Beautiful. The crowd joins in singing for a nice moment.

Tito Santana says he doesn’t know anything about the Executioner but no one is going to stop him from achieving his goals. Arriba!

The Executioner, a masked man better known as Playboy Buddy Rose (a big star in Portland Wrestling and the AWA who didn’t do much elsewhere), says he’s going after Tito’s leg. So much for secrecy.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

It’s a crisscross to start the first match in Wrestlemania history. Tito quickly fires him out to the floor, followed by a headlock takeover for two back inside. Executioner tries to hide in the corner but it’s not that hard to find someone in a big red mask three feet in front of Santana. Tito follows him in but takes a headbutt to the ribs to give Executioner control.

An awkward looking backdrop puts Tito down as there hasn’t been much of the promised leg work. Maybe Executioner is smarter than he seems and was lying to throw Tito off. Santana slams Executioner off the top but a splash hits knees and now it’s time for the leg. Tito easily kicks him to the floor though and the flying forearm sets up Tito’s Figure Four for the submission at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash for Tito as he was trying to get the Intercontinental Title back. Executioner was one of the standard characters of the day who would show up, possibly be played by multiple people on different nights, and rarely win a match. All the announcers had to do was build the masked man up as a threat to the star and go to the match. It’s such a simple idea and that’s all it needed to be.

S.D. Jones, a self described music man, is more than ready for King Kong Bundy on the biggest show ever.

King Kong Bundy promises a splash and a five count.

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Bundy shoves him into the corner and hits a pair of splashes for the pin at 24 seconds. This is billed as nine seconds for a record but it takes nearly double that much time for the first splash to connect. To continue the lying, Bundy only got a three count. How can I ever trust someone like that?

Matt Borne, a pretty generic heel (I mean he wears sunglasses inside. How can he possibly be a good guy?), thinks Ricky Steamboat is just too nice of a guy and needs to get beaten up.

Steamboat says he’s ready but Okerlund talks over him to throw it back to the arena. That’s rather rude of him. Ricky was talking about developing his meanness, a goal he failed to achieve in spectacular fashion.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat is a newcomer and in trunks instead of tights here. Feeling out process to start and a big chop puts Borne down. A headlock has Borne in trouble and a big atomic drop makes him gyrate a bit. The left handed Borne comes back with some shots to the ribs and a hard whip into the corner, only to have Steamboat come back with chops and another headlock. Ricky wins a slugout and drops a knee for two. Back up and the high cross body gives Steamboat the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D+. This could be subtitled “Hi, I’m Ricky Steamboat and I’m a good wrestler.” Borne could have been any other guy and the match would have been the same. Steamboat would take some time to get anywhere but he was one of the smoothest wrestlers of all time and always worth checking out.

As I mentioned earlier, this is really more of a house show than anything else as we haven’t had an important match so far and we’re about twenty five minutes in.

It should be noted that Lord Alfred Hayes is introducing the pre-match interviews (which are all pre-taped from earlier in the day). This time, Steamboat and Borne both have to made sudden shifts to avoid running into Hayes’ camera shot.

David Sammartino is ready to show that he’s not just his father’s son. Of course his father will be at ringside.

Johnny Valiant says his man Brutus Beefcake isn’t worried about the son of an overrated legend.

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

They make no secret of the fact that this is little more than a way to have Bruno appear on the show. Bruno and Valiant are the seconds here and the match takes its sweet time to get going. David is in good shape but is a very boring looking wrestler. Brutus on the other hand has a great look but is very green at this point. It’s a slow start as Jesse thinks the loser will have his career set back six months to a year. They start slow with Brutus being sent out to the floor for a conference with Valiant.

Back in and David grabs a front facelock but gets countered into a headlock. David gets to his feet and takes Brutus down for a leg lock. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this one. Brutus fights up again and drops some heavy forearms followed by a powerslam. After more punishment it’s David fighting back and trying to look as much like his dad as he can. They fight to the floor and the managers get involved for the double DQ at 11:44.

Rating: D. So far this is the low mark in the history of Wrestlemania. That being said, it’s not so much bad as it is really dull. They were just doing basic moves to each other for about ten minutes until the older guys came in. At the end of the day, Bruno was the star here and David wasn’t very good. There isn’t much you can do to get around that and David never did.

Greg Valentine says he’s lost weight and is ready to defend the Intercontinental Title.

Junkyard Dog says he needs a bone to chew on and he’ll be able to afford a lot more once he wins that title.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine is defending and the graphic says this is the Inter-Continental Title. Greg also has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Dog starts with some heavy headbutts and right hands, followed by more headbutts from all fours to put Valentine down in the corner. Back up and Valentine actually wins a test of strength (I didn’t see that one coming), setting up a wristlock.

Now we get more into Greg’s standard operating procedure as he drives knees into Dog’s hamstring and cranks on the leg. Back up and Dog limps around but is still able to fire off right hands and headbutts. You might say his offense is limited but that might be giving him too much credit. Jimmy Hart tries to get on the apron but Valentine hits him by mistake, only to grab a rollup for the pin on Dog with his feet on the ropes at 6:55.

Rating: D. Another dull match here but at least the fans were way behind Dog. The guy might not have been the most athletic or active wrestler in the world but there’s no denying his charisma and how much the fans got behind him. It was pretty sure that Valentine was going to be fighting Santana next so the ending was never in any real doubt here but at least it was short.

Speaking of Santana, he comes out to tell the referee about Valentine’s feet being on the ropes. The referee says restart it but Valentine walks out, earning Dog a countout win. That’s quite the meaningless change and the fans really don’t care.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff don’t like America and want to take the Tag Team Titles back to Iran and the USSR respectfully. Their manager Freddie Blassie agrees.

The Tag Team Champions the US Express (Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham with manager Lou Albano) don’t have much to say but they’re ready.

Tag Team Titles: US Express vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Volkoff and Sheik are challenging and Nikolai actually gets the full Soviet national anthem out before the champions hit the ring. The Express are heavy favorites here but Sheik shoulders Mike down to start. Some dropkicks mostly miss Sheik but he goes down anyway. That’s very nice of him. Maybe he isn’t as evil as he seems. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow to the head and the champs are in early control.

Rotundo is tagged back in to face Volkoff. Nikolai’s arm gets worked over in a hurry with both champions coming off the top rope and dropping down onto it. Sheik gets suplexed but Volkoff gets in a knee to the back to finally give the evil foreigners control. Back to Sheik who can’t keep Rotundo in trouble much longer, allowing Mike to dive over for the tag. Barry comes in with a bulldog for two but everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik uses Blassie’s cane to knock Windham out cold for the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C-. This was just for the historical value and little more. Sheik and Volkoff getting the titles was a major surprise but they would drop them back to the Express just a few months later. They kept the formula simple here as the Express dominated until the very end where the villains cheated to take the belts. Quick and efficient here to give the show something historic.

Sheik and Volkoff say they’re the best in the world and Blassie denies having a cane.

The announcers talk for a bit as we’re in an intermission.

Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan have $15,000 in a bag (very impressive since you can see it’s mostly $1 bills) which they certainly won’t lose in the body slam match.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is Studd’s money vs. Andre’s career and you can only win by slamming your opponent. The Heenan Family jumped Andre and cut off his afro on Saturday Night’s Main Event to set this up. Studd goes right after Andre to start but the Giant will have none of it and chops Studd out to the floor. Back in and Andre lays on Studd in the corner, followed by a bearhug. The fans chant for a slam but they’re stuck with more slow non-action instead. Studd’s kick to the ample gut gets caught and Andre kicks at the free leg a few times, setting up the slam on Studd (in a pretty famous visual) at 5:54.

Rating: F+. I can’t say this is a full on failure as the fans loved the ending but the rest of the match was such a boring mess. Andre was barely able to move here and that bearhug ate up nearly a third of the entire match. Thankfully they kept this really short because I don’t want to imagine what they were going to do with even more time.

Heenan grabs the money and runs off but Andre doesn’t seem to mind.

In the back, Andre laughs off the idea of retiring.

Rock mega star Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter are ready for Richter’s rematch for the Women’s Title. Richter really doesn’t have the best voice so Lauper was the better choice for the talking.

Lelani Kai says she’s going to “come back to the dressing room with her hand in victor.”

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Now this is big. Richter, the challenger here, is the second most popular person in the company (yes probably more than Andre) but Kai stole the title with Moolah’s help. Moolah vs. Richter is still the big feud here as Richter has Lauper in her corner. Lauper would start feuding with Moolah and then moved on to Roddy Piper to really blow the doors open on this whole Rock and Wrestling Connection.

In a rather famous shot, Richter and Lauper run through the back on their way to the ring. That’s one of those clips you’ve probably seen in a history package or two over the years. Feeling out process to start with both of them trying a wristlock. A hammerlock has Kai in trouble and she taps but that won’t mean anything for about another ten years.

The champ works on a wristlock of her own and pulls Richter down by the hair. Back up and Kai charges into two boots in the corner to change control. Moolah tries to rip Richter’s hair out but Lauper goes over and drills her. Richter drills Kai with some forearms and a fireman’s carry slam (think a reverse Attitude Adjustment) for two. The champ grabs a backbreaker for two of her own but Wendi rolls through a high cross body (well mostly as she didn’t get all the way through so Kai had to lay there for a bit) for the pin and the title at 6:12.

Rating: D. The match was nothing to see but it was one of the most academic endings of all time. Richter getting the title back sent the fans through the roof and Lauper’s enthusiasm made it even better. Women’s wrestling was very different at this point and things would evolve quite a bit over the next few years. This would be the last big moment for Wendi though as she would get screwed out of the title in a legit shoot by Moolah about eight months later. Richter had a nasty contract dispute and the WWF pulled a screwjob to get the title off of her.

Richter and Lauper spin around in circles post match. They continue to be happy in the back after the match.

It’s time to introduce the celebrities for the main event, starting with the guest ring announcer Billy Martin, the multiple time manager of the New York Yankees. He introduces guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes out with the Rockettes for a little dancing. If this isn’t your taste in entertainment, Muhammad Ali is introduced as the guest referee for outside the ring. Ali gets by far the biggest reaction as a legend here in the Garden and around the world. Another boxer, Jose Torres, is in the front row.

Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff vs. Mr. T./Hulk Hogan

This is the definition of the main event as it’s the biggest match on the show by leaps and bounds. The idea here is that Piper attacked Cyndi Lauper and friends when Lauper was being presented with an award. Hulk Hogan ran in for the save, setting up a showdown with Piper at the War to Settle the Score. The match resulted in a big brawl and Orndorff came in to help Piper. Mr. T. was in the front row and ran in to help his friend, setting up a huge brawl and this match.

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by the New York Pipe and Drum Corps but Hogan and Mr. T. come out to Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III. I’ll go with the good guys on this one. Piper and Orndorff will have Piper’s bodyguard Cowboy Bob Orton in their corner while Hogan and Mr. T. will have Jimmy Snuka. As Hogan and Mr. T. come through the back, Vince McMahon can be seen in the hallway. After all that, we’re FINALLY ready to go.

Orndorff has a broom for no apparent reason as Monsoon recaps everything and announces Pat Patterson as the inside referee. Hogan and Orndorff get things going as you would think they’re keeping the big attractions (Mr. T. in general and Hogan vs. Piper) back for a bit. Apparently not as Piper tags in before there’s any contact and Mr. T. demands to come in. They go nose to nose and slap each other in the face before going down to the mat for some amateur wrestling. The fans chant T. as you would expect them to.

Mr. T. picks him up for an airplane spin and slams Piper down, drawing everyone in for a huge brawl. Ali, Snuka and Orton get in with Piper getting right in Ali’s face. Amazingly enough it’s a REALLY STUPID IDEA to get in Muhammad Ali’s face as he swings at Piper, who is quick enough to get to the floor. Piper and Orndorff try to leave but the cops escort them back to the ring.

Back in and the villains are rammed into each other, leaving Hogan to drive Piper’s head into the mat. Mr. T. comes back in to help Hogan with a double big boot. Some hiptosses keep Piper and Orndorff in trouble and it’s back to Hogan for another boot which Piper out to the floor. Orndorff finally does something right as he knocks Hogan outside where Piper gets in a chair shot.

Ali breaks up any further cheating and it’s Hogan in trouble back inside. Mr. T. is dragged out of the ring, allowing a double atomic drop to keep Hogan in trouble. Piper comes back in for a knee lift for two, followed by a top rope elbow from Orndorff for the same. Orndorff isn’t as lucky the second time though as he misses a top rope knee, allowing for the hot tag off to Mr. T.

The villains quickly take Mr. T. down to the mat though and slaps on a front facelock. Monsoon criticizes Mr. T.’s technique in trying to escape but he gets out anyway and tags in Hogan as everything breaks down. Orton goes up top with for a shot with his cast but it hits Orndorff by mistake, giving Hogan the pin at 13:24.

Rating: C+. This is another match where the ending was obvious but it was all about the spectacle as we got there. Hogan was the megastar to end all megastars here and everything came off well. It’s not a great match or anything but it’s a lot of fun and that’s all it needed to be.

Piper decks Patterson and leaves. Orndorff wakes up and has no idea what happened but leaves without any violence.

We look back at the ending as everyone leaves.

Mr. T. says this is real and not for wimps. Hogan says that was what it was all about. Snuka says these men are his brothers. He would be gone soon after this.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap it up.

A package of stills from the show and the credits (a sign of the times) take us out.

Overall Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: this show isn’t very good. There are far worse cards out there, but this one is all about the history and atmosphere than anything else. To be fair, no one knew what this was going to be at the time and it blew away all the expectations. This felt like something special and that’s exactly what it was. It’s definitely a show that you have to see at some point in your life as a fan and you can feel the history. The show flies by and nothing feels long as only two matches break ten minutes. Not a great show, but one of the most important of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: F+

Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Paul Orndorff/Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-

Forgive me on the first version. It was literally the first review I’ve ever done so I actually didn’t know what I was doing yet.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 1989
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the first PPV version of the show and things have changed a lot. Tonight, everyone is in the match and they’re focusing more on the idea of every man being for himself. The match wouldn’t be worth anything for a few more years but things should be a little bit stronger tonight as they have a better idea what they’re doing. Let’s get to it.

We start off with a listing of presumably everyone in the Rumble tonight. If not then it’s at least most of them.

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

We get a clip of some people pulling their numbers earlier. DiBiase isn’t thrilled at all and immediately goes to find Slick to work out a deal of some kind. These segments need to come back, if nothing else to try to make us believe the numbers are random. The Bushwhackers are happy with their numbers but they trade anyway. Honky is mad about his number. Bad News says his is good news. Demolition seems annoyed. Jake….you can’t tell emotion from him anyway. The Rockers don’t seem to hate theirs.

It’s time for the Super Posedown, which is exactly that: Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude posing against each other to further their feud. Warrior is IC Champion here and man alive if this happened on a PPV today the fans would likely riot. Well not riot but boo heavily at least. Heenan actually sucks up to the fans because it’s decided by fan vote. Again, the ending here isn’t exactly in doubt. This goes on WAY too long, as it’s just posing and people booing/cheering depending on who is posing. Rude finally attacks Warrior with a bar and bails. Warrior chases after him and that’s it. This somehow took nearly fifteen minutes.

Womens’ Title: Judy Martin vs. Rockin Robin

Robin is defending and is Jake Roberts’ real life half sister. Sherri is in the ring and wants the title shot at the winner of this. Martin misses a charge and Sherri sits in on commentary. They pound on each other and it’s clear that they’re not incredibly skilled in the ring. Martin slams her down and blocks a sunset flip with a punch to the head. Robin puts on a Boston Crab as this is going nowhere.

Martin blocks an O’Connor Roll as Sherri complains about not getting a rematch yet. Gorilla talks about the process you have to go through to get a rematch, which is a nice sounding idea when you think about all the automatic title rematches you get today. Imagine that: EARNING a title match. Something resembling a DDT gets two on Martin but Robin misses an elbow drop. Martin misses one also but a backslide gets two for Judy. Robin kicks her in the face for two and gets the same off a small package. Sherri: “Come on somebody win.” Robin goes to the middle rope, fakes Martin out, and cross bodies her to retain.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but the ending wasn’t bad. The Women’s Title would be retired about 13 months later and wouldn’t be restored until about 1993. At the end of the day, no one cares about womens wrestling other than for how small their outfits are. Robin and Martin aren’t exactly eye candy either, so this didn’t do much for anyone. At least it was short though.

Slick says the Twin Towers (Boss Man and Akeem) are probably winners of the Rumble but denies knowing anything about shenanigans with DiBiase. Sean Mooney has footage (the original Vickie Guerrer) of Slick and DiBiase together and suddenly Slick realizes he misunderstood Mooney the first time. He has no comment though.

Rude runs his mouth a bit about beating Warrior. This must be intermission.

Yep, it’s intermission as we get promos from a few managers, saying their guys are going to win. Nothing to see here but we hear from Fuji (representing the Powers of Pain), Liz (Mega Powers) and Jimmy Hart (Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine). Like I said, nothing to see here.

Jesse is sitting on the throne that will go to either Haku or Race. He thinks he might just run for King because the chair is comfortable.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race was King but got hurt and the crown went to Haku. This is his chance to get it back in a one time only return to the ring. Harley shoves over Haku’s throne to start and the brawl is on. You know Race is going to be the brawler in this. Back in and Race pounds away before suplexing Haku down for two. Heenan manages both guys here but Race is kind of the face by default.

They head to the floor again with Race being sent into the post and chopped a few times. Haku sends him back to the floor after a few seconds in the ring as we stall for a few moments. More chops have Race in trouble as Jesse talks about Hogan injuring Race, which is only kind of true. Race no sells a headbutt and gets two off a piledriver. They collide again and Race falls to the floor as Heenan plays both sides, saying he’s for both guys when the other is out of earshot.

Back in and Race punches some more before getting two off a suplex. Haku gets sent to the floor again as it’s pretty clear there’s not much to this match. Race tries to piledrive Haku on the floor but gets backdropped as is the usual. A second attempt at a piledriver works but not incredibly well. Back in and a clothesline puts Haku down for two but Haku comes back and misses a top rope headbutt. Race misses a headbutt of his own and charges into the superkick from Haku (looked GREAT) for the pin to keep the crown in Tonga or wherever he’s from.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible and the ending kick looked awesome, but other than that there wasn’t much to see here. Race was clearly old and banged up and he didn’t have a lot to work with in the form of Haku. The crown was mostly a minor title that was only somewhat official. Nothing to see here, but no one cares about anything but the Rumble tonight anyway.

Time for more Rumble promos, with Beefcake, Greg Valentine (both of whom say they just need their fists), the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking for them), Big John Studd (freshly back in the company), Mr. Perfect (pretty new at this point) and Savage (insane of course).

DiBiase is much happier about his number now.

Heenan says the Family (Brainbusters and Andre) is ready and Andre says he’ll thrown them out if he has to. Arn whispers to Tully when Andre isn’t looking because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you.

Hogan gives his usual promo with the focus on Boss Man and Akeem this time.

Royal Rumble

The entrants are every two minutes, allegedly. #1 is Ax and #2 is Smash, beginning a tradition of having partners fight at the beginning of these matches. They immediately pound on each other and amazingly enough, they actually sell the offense. It’s a bunch of clotheslines and punches, but the key to Demolition has always been how HARD they hit each other, which is what you get a lot of here. In at #3 is Andre, which gives us one heck of a handicap match.

Demolition immediately hits a double clothesline on Andre and start demolishing him to a BIG pop. Andre is way past being past his prime here but this is still cool to see. Here’s Mr. Perfect at #4 and he strolls down the aisle, which is pretty wise for him. Andre starts fighting Demolition off and for some reason this turns into a tag match. Andre easily throws out Smash, resulting in a 2-1 attack on Andre.

The Giant fights them off and Perfect sells a headbutt as only Mr. Perfect can. Here’s Ronnie Garvin at #5 and they get Andre tied up in the ropes. The Giant breaks free and beats up Ax while Garvin and Hennig fight a bit. Andre shifts over to beat up Perfect, giving us some more awesome overselling. Greg Valentine is in at #6 to make it 4-1 against Andre. AGAIN Andre is all like BRING IT ON and knocks them away, eliminating Garvin in the process.

Andre chokes Valentine in the corner while Ax and Perfect continue their rather uninteresting fight. Andre starts choking Ax and the look on his face is eerie. Jake Roberts is #7 and Andre immediately pounds him down. Nothing of note happens for two minutes so here’s Ron Bass at #8 as Jake gets eliminated by Andre. Shawn Michaels is in at #9, giving us Ax, Perfect, Andre, Bass, Valentine and Michaels. As I type that, Perfect knocks out Ax.

Perfect throws Shawn over the top rope but some skinning the cat brings him back in. Shawn dropkicks Perfect to the apron as we get into a sell-off. #10 is Butch who gets a big pop of his own. As Butch gets in, here’s Jake Roberts again with the snake to scare Andre out of the match. The fans look at something, presumably Jake and Andre in the aisle, as things settle down a lot. It’s Honky Tonk Man at #11 as things are in that annoying slow period of most Rumbles.

Tito Santana is in at #12 to finally balance the heel/face ratio out a bit. There’s almost nothing going on here other than the energy burst you get from the new guys coming in. Bass hits a good backdrop on Michaels as Santana barely survives an attack from Valentine. Bad News Brown is #13 and Butch and Santana (there’s a pairing for you) dump Honky. Butch gets beaten up and Shawn goes up top to jump on Bad News and Bass. Marty Jannetty is #14 and the Rockers double dropkick Bass out.

Tito kills Valentine with the forearm and world champion Randy Savage is #15. NOW the place wakes up as he hammers away on Bad News. Perfect and Savage go at it in a match that would have the purists drooling. Speaking of making purists drool, Arn Anderson is #16. Savage dumps Valentine as Shawn fights Arn. Savage….saves Anderson and eliminates Shawn? Now there’s one I didn’t expect. To recap, we’ve got Marty, Anderson, Butch, Brown, Savage, Santana and Perfect in there at the moment. That’s quite the lineup for the most part.

Tully Blanchard makes the lineup even stronger at #17. Just to be clear, that’s two tag teams getting back to back numbers. Gee, what are the odds? The Brainbusters double team Marty as we’re just waiting for Hogan at this point. And here he is at #18. There goes Perfect, giving him the new Iron Man record at just under 28:00. Off camera, Savage and the Busters put Santana out as Hulk beats up Brown. Hogan fights off all three heels as Savage beats on Butch. Nice partner, especially after Hogan saved Savage when he got to the ring.

Here’s Luke at #19 as things slow down again. Butch gets thrown out after a remarkable 18 minutes. Hogan hot shots Blanchard but has to beat up Luke instead of eliminating Tully. After a brief lull, here’s Koko B. Ware at #20. After more of that epic Hulk vs. Luke showdown, Arn goes up top and is immediately slammed down by Hogan. Dude, you’re best friends with RIC FLAIR. Why would you think that’s smart? Hogan dumps Koko and Luke but gets double teamed by the Busters.

Warlord is #20 and Hogan clotheslines both Busters out at the same time. Warlord poses on the apron, gets in, and is clotheslined out in 2 seconds flat, setting a record that would last 20 years. Hogan also dumps Bad News, but it takes out Savage in the process which adds even more fuel to the Mega Powers Exploding in less than a month. Liz comes in to play peacemaker and the Powers shake hands.

Now we get the big showdown of the match as Big Boss Man is #21 and gets to face Hogan one on one. This is when Boss Man weighed like 400lbs and was just freaking fat. Hulk slams Boss Man down and pounds away in the corner but falls victim to a splash. A piledriver puts Hulk down and Boss Man stands tall. Gorilla says Hogan has been out there for half an hour (it’s been about 8 or 9 minutes) and Jesse is hilarious in freaking out.

To give us the third team back to back in this Rumble, #22 is Akeem. Hogan rams them together and slams Akeem but the numbers catch up with Hogan. After a brief comeback, a double splash crushes Hogan and he’s easily tossed. Hogan, ever the jerk, pulls Boss Man out and beats on him, which is apparently an elimination. Beefcake is #23, which means we just missed what could have been a good house show tag match.

Hogan and Boss Man brawl to the back as we get to the pretty dull third act of the Rumble. Red Rooster is #24 and helps double team Akeem a bit. They try to dump Akeem but Barbarian comes in at #25 and breaks it up. Gorilla: “That was kind of stupid.” Taylor and Akeem pair off, as do Barbarian and Beefcake and the heels take over. Akeem crushes the Rooster (Terry Taylor in case you’re some young kid) and here’s Big John Studd at #27.

Nothing of note happens there so here’s Hercules at #28. Again nothing happens so Rick Martel is #29. He goes right for Akeem but Studd shoves him away because Akeem is his big piece of chicken tonight. DiBiase is of course #30, giving us DiBiase, Akeem, Hercules, Beefcake, Studd, Barbarian, Rooster and Martel. Jesse and Gorilla have a debate about what a manager is as DiBiase throws out the Rooster to get us down to seven.

DiBiase and Barbarian team up to put out Hercules and Beefcake, leaving us with five. This last part isn’t quite death for the match but it’s certainly a bad sickness. Martel puts out the Barbarian to give us a final four. Akeem misses a splash on Martel in the corner and Rick fires off some dropkicks to no avail.

A cross body is caught and Akeem dumps Martel to get us down to Studd, Akeem and DiBiase. Akeem pounds on Studd as DiBiase gives instructions. Studd pulls Ted in front of a splash and dumps Akeem to get us down to two. DiBiase offers money but Studd shakes a finger at him. Studd actually fires off some suplexes to the shock of Monsoon. The elimination is academic and Studd wins.

Rating: C-. The last third REALLY hurts this. It’s not that it’s bad but after Hogan leaves you could almost hear a pin fall. Ha I made a wrestling joke. Also, John Studd? Really? They’ve got all those guys in there and they pick Studd to win? After Wrestlemania the guy was pretty much gone and I don’t think there was ever a clear reason for Studd winning given, other than they thought he was going to be a big deal. It’s just an odd pick and one that hindsight doesn’t look kindly on. Anyway not a terrible match but the booking hurts it.

Savage reassures himself that he’s still great. You can hear the paranoia and see the heel turn coming if you look hard enough.

Jesse and Gorilla wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. I can’t say this was a bad show because nothing on here is truly terrible, but it’s certainly not good either. This is very characteristic of the late 80s as other than Hogan and Savage, the stories were very limited at best. They were trying though and that’s something you can’t fake. Not a terrible show, but it’s nothing more than a moment \for the most part.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation vs. Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: C+
Redo: C

Rockin’ Robin vs. Judy Martin

Original: C-
Redo: D

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Original: C
Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-
Redo: D+

About the same again. That’s interesting compared to what happened with the Survivor Series Redos.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

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Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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