Smackdown
Date: November 15, 2001
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another request and it’s the go home show for Survivor Series. In other words, it’s all about the WWF vs. the Alliance as there is still the faint hope that the Alliance could pull off a miracle and not get destroyed on Sunday in the Winner Take All match. I’m not sure why this was requested but maybe it’s for a fond farewell. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane

Van Dam’s Hardcore Title isn’t on the line. Kane shoves him into the corner to start and the stomping is on in a hurry. The gorilla press doesn’t work so Van Dam tries the kicks, only to get clotheslined. The fans are behind Van Dam (in the Alliance mind you) as Kane steps on his back in the corner. Kane drives him back first into the corner but Van Dam kicks him back down. Rolling Thunder gives Van Dam two but Kane is right back with Snake Eyes. Kane catches him on top for a superplex so here’s Booker T. (also Alliance) for a distraction, allowing Van Dam to hit his top rope kick to the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it serves a fine enough purpose of getting you ready for Sunday. This is one where the building momentum actually makes sense and could mean a little something on Sunday, though I doubt Van Dam and Kane are going to be the biggest players in the match.

Post match Undertaker comes out to chase Booker off.

Test is messing with his XBOX when Stacy Keibler (then managing the Dudleys in a nice fit) comes in to ask if he’s ready for their six man. She confirms that he is in fact WAY hotter than Edge.

Chris Jericho comes in to see Rock before their tag team match against Steve Austin and Kurt Angle. They aren’t getting along at the moment and various words are censored. Jericho isn’t going to be attacking him anytime soon because he’ll be leading the WWF into Survivor Series. Rock responds with a knock knock joke about leading the company and making sure Jericho has a job.

Jericho will take Rock out, but he’ll waiting until after Survivor Series. Rock shakes his hand so Jericho goes for the cool handshake, which Rock doesn’t like. See, Jericho is cool like the Fonz….so Rock pretends to shoot a duck and holsters his finger gun? Eh who cares as this was an amazing feud.

Edge/Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz/Test

Lita and Stacy Keibler are here as this is a preview of two Survivor Series title matches. In other words, ALL SIX are champions, because there were far too many titles around at this point. Bubba shoulders Edge down to start but walks into a flapjack. It’s off to Matt as everything breaks down in a hurry. We settle down to Test clotheslining Matt and hammering him down in the corner. Matt fights out of the corner without much trouble and brings in Jeff (in his snazzy hat) but Bubba elbows him down as well.

A neckbreaker gets two on Jeff and Matt’s failed save attempt lets D-Von hit What’s Up. Bubba misses the middle rope backsplash though and it’s back to Edge to clean house. Everything breaks down with Edge and Jeff taking over, including a big slingshot dive from Jeff to Test…which misses. Stacy gets on the apron for a failed distraction though and Edge spears D-Von down for the pin.

Rating: C. It was certainly action packed and that’s the best thing you can have in a match like this. While there was an absurd number of titles in one match, it always makes sense to tie two feuds into one. The hot sequence at the end helped, but there is only so much you can do with so many people and so little time.

Post match Lita knocks Stacy knocks off the apron and into Matt’s arms. Lita isn’t happy so Matt drops her in a funny bit. The Dudleyz use the distraction to give Lita the 3D with Stacy holding Matt’s leg.

Post break Matt apologizes to Lita and kisses her before having a rather odd look on her face.

Big Show vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Show is dressed as Page, including the rather large, white teeth. The real Page comes out…and gets chokeslammed with one hand for the pin in about thirty seconds.

Post match Shane McMahon runs in to hit Show with a chair.

Paul Heyman runs into Stephanie McMahon’s office and talks about how awesome that was. Stephanie does one of her patented Only Stephanie Talks This Way promos about how great the Alliance is. Heyman is going to call out Vince McMahon, after this segment which was only there to give Stephanie a cameo.

Here’s Heyman to talk about how the Alliance is standing up to the tyranny of Vince McMahon and the WWF. Heyman isn’t the one who ruined everything accomplished by Steve Austin. Sunday is about ending what Vince tried to accomplish. On Monday, he listened to Mick Foley talking about how the WWF sucked because Vince McMahon doesn’t have it anymore. His ideas and concepts are antiquated and the company is imploding from within.

Vince’s own children have turned on him and on Sunday, Vince’s company will die. His chances of success on Sunday are the same as his chances of running a football league. Cue Vince, with Heyman dropping to his knees for the mock bowing. Heyman asks where Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco are and talks about how much he’s wanted to see someone destroy him. Vince is the most vile disgusting son of a b**** he’s ever seen.

He used Hulk Hogan’s blood to build Titan Towers and sold Bret Hart out to buy a plane with WWF painted on the side. Vince stole Shawn Michaels’ smile and made himself a billionaire. He’s a billionaire on Vince’s father’s hard work and then stole all of the competition’s ideas. Like Heyman’s, when Vince stole everything that ECW created. When Doink the Clown was running around with green hair, Steve Austin was drinking his first beer in ECW. While Bobby Heenan and Gene Okerlund were dancing, ECW was creating Attitude.

Heyman: “SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!” Vince flaunts his affairs in front of the world for her children to see. Look at Tazz, who was a machine and a wrestler, but since this is sports entertainment, Tazz is a fat commentator. Heyman’s hat comes off and Tazz gets up to choke Heyman out. Vince says that just like Heyman, the Alliance will choke. This was AWESOME with Heyman absolutely losing his mind out there as only he can. I’m not sure how much he believes what he was saying (you never can tell with Heyman) but dang he sold the heck out of the whole thing.

Jim Ross replaces Tazz on commentary.

Booker T. vs. Undertaker

Undertaker jumps him from behind on the ramp and the beating is on around ringside. Booker gets knocked over the announcers’ table before they head inside with Booker hammering away. Undertaker comes right back, says we’re sending a message tonight, grabs a chair, and shoves the referee down for the DQ in just over a minute.

Post match Undertaker hits Booker with the chair and nails the chokeslam.

Video of the WWF on Weakest Link. I liked that show.

Ivory is in William Regal (Alliance Commissioner) and makes a six way match for the vacant Women’s Title at Survivor Series. Ivory is happy and leaves when ace reporter Gregory Helms comes in to ask about the Immunity Battle Royal at Survivor Series, where the winner can’t be fired for a year. Helms knows just the man for the job, takes his glasses off, and flies away.

Steve Austin and Kurt Angle aren’t getting along about trust, so they pinkie swear their loyalty to each other.

Regal threatens Torrie Wilson about their upcoming mixed tag. When the Alliance ends the WWF on Sunday, he can find a position for her.

William Regal/Ivory vs. Torrie Wilson/Tajiri

Ivory chokes Torrie to start and faceplants her for two, followed by some hairmares. She stands on Torrie’s hair for a bonus but Torrie comes back with a clothesline for two. Torrie even throws in a Tajiri handspring elbow and it’s off to the men for a slugout. The Tarantula has Regal in trouble and Ivory takes the mist. Regal drapes Tajiri across the top rope and pulls Torrie in for the Regal Stretch and the DQ.

Rating: D. What is there to say here? Ivory was trying but there is only so much that you can do when Torrie is working most of the match. She was trying but you can’t do anything with her in the ring and that was obvious here. At least they kept it short here, but that’s about the extent of the positives.

Video on the ten man elimination tag, with Vince promising that someone is jumping from the Alliance. As usual in the big situations, they know how to do these really, really well.

Howard Finkel thanks Vince for the last twenty years just in case things go bad on Sunday. Vince insists that they will win on Sunday and don’t EVER touch him again.

Chris Jericho/The Rock vs. Steve Austin/Kurt Angle

Austin and Rock slug it out to start with Rock hitting a running neckbreaker and clothesline. Rock chops away but gets caught with the Thesz press. The middle rope elbow gets two and Angle tags himself in, only to have Rock pull him in. Jericho is in as well with a running forearm to Angle, followed by the middle rope dropkick for two. Angle gets in a knee to the ribs though and it’s back to Austin for the beating in the corner.

Jericho gets over to the corner for the top rope ax handle to the head and it’s back to Angle, who gets chopped backwards. There’s the triangle dropkick to Austin but Angle snaps off the German suplex. The right hands put Jericho down in the corner and Austin blasts him with a clothesline. The Thesz press is countered into a quickly broken Walls though, meaning Angle needs to jump Jericho from behind. Angle’s chinlock doesn’t last long as Jericho rolls out into the ankle lock.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Austin takes him to the top, only to get kicked down. The missile dropkick drops Austin and the enziguri into the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) is enough for the hot tag to Rock. The spinebuster into the Sharpshooter has Austin in trouble but Angle makes the save with the ankle lock. Jericho breaks that up and takes Angle to the floor, where he suplexes Jericho in a heap. Angle goes back inside to beat on Rock as Austin grabs a chair. The referee calls for the DQ as the chair is wrapped around Rock’s ankle.

Rating: B. It was a big time main event match as Austin vs. Rock is always worth seeing. They beat each other up rather well out there and it makes sense for Austin and Angle to want to destroy Rock’s ankle before Sunday. The ending was the right way to go and hopefully we’re in for a huge match on Sunday to pay it all off.

Undertaker breaks up the Pillmanizing and it’s the rest of the teams coming in for the parade of finishers. Austin Stuns Rock to be the last man standing. Cue Vince to smile at Austin, who smiles back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Heyman promo and the main event are the only things worth seeing but the point here was making me want to see Sunday’s main event. It’s not like the rest of the show means a thing so going with what we got here was good enough. The entire point here was to focus on the main event though and they did that well enough.

Unfortunately there wasn’t much else on the show worth seeing and it was very obvious here. Couple that with people making the same criticisms of Vince that they would make 18 years later (after the company has become WAY more profitable) and there’s either some amusement or irony to go with the good main event.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 26, 2006
Hosts: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time to wrap up the year and since this is the day after Christmas, that means a Best Of show, which is about all you could do in this situation. ECW came back in June and things have been hit or miss since then, but there have been enough positives to make for a nice hour of stuff. Let’s get to it.

Note that I’ll be posting the full versions of matches instead of clips for the sake of sanity.

Joey and Tazz welcome us to the show and we see Tazz beating Jerry Lawler in short order at One Night Stand, thanks to Joey’s help.

From One Night Stand.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Video on Sabu.

We see Rob Van Dam losing both of his titles in back to back nights, with the rather dumb decisions that led to the losses being left out.

From July 4.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and it’s Extreme Rules, meaning we do get a weapons check before the bell (granted that might have been to fill time during the break). Rob slugs away to little avail as Show runs him over with a shoulder. A headbutt puts Van Dam on the floor and the fans let Show know he can’t wrestle. Show clotheslines him over the barricade and they walk in front of the fans in the front row. There is no random swearing or violence so you can tell that this isn’t a real ECW crowd. Rob manages to jump onto the barricade for a kick to the head and we take a break.

Back with Rob hitting a springboard kick to the face but Show catches him on top with a superplex. Show kicks him in the head to keep him down and then stands on Van Dam’s chest in the corner. The fans chant for marijuana as Show drops some elbows for two. A bearhug doesn’t last long so Show switches to a backbreaker and bends Van Dam’s back over his knee. Van Dam knees his way to freedom and kicks the knee out, followed by a basement crossbody.

Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Show catches him in the air though and tosses Van Dam outside. The steps are picked up but Van Dam gets in a drop toehold to send Show face first into them. Van Dam goes up top but Show pulls the dive out of the air in an impressive catch. Rob’s chair is swatted away and there’s a chokeslam for two.

Show knocks the referee away and grabs a powerbomb, only to have Van Dam chair him in the head. There’s the Van Daminator into the Five Star but there’s no referee. Cue Heyman to count two….and stop before three because we’ve got a screwjob. Show hits a nasty chair to the head and a chokeslam onto the chair gives Show the pin and the title with Heyman counting the pin.

Rating: C-. Ignoring all of the shenanigans and the necessity of the title change, the match was only ok at best, with Show doing his power stuff and Van Dam bouncing off of him over and over. Then you got to the ending, which was telegraphed but again, they didn’t have much of a choice. Van Dam had to drop the title to someone and other than Kurt Angle, who he beat last week, who else was there but Big Show? Sure it was about as close to the Survivor Series 2002 story with Van Dam in Brock Lesnar’s place, but they didn’t have much of an option otherwise.

Video on Test, who might squeak in as a Best Of in the last few weeks.

Tazz doesn’t like the Christmas tree on the set.

Van Dam came back and got some matches with Big Show, including a ladder match, but none of them were for the title. Paul Heyman brought in Hardcore Holly to fight Van Dam, setting up a rather memorable match….which we don’t see here. Ok then.

Video on Sandman.

We look back at Extreme Strip Poker.

Video on CM Punk.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Like we could go with anything else.

From December To Dismember.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

After Lashley beat Big Show in a rematch to get rid of him, it was time for a new #1 contender.

From December 19.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Joined in progress with everyone down on the floor until Van Dam takes Test back inside for a superkick. The standing moonsault gets two but Van Dam gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for his traditional crash. Sabu is back up as well and gets crotched on top to put him in trouble again.

Van Dam comes back in for the Tower of Doom and a pair of near falls. A flip over Sabu sets up a clothesline to Test and some double teaming gets two each. There is Rolling Thunder for two more on Test and he is sent outside. That leaves Sabu to hit the springboard leg lariat for two but Van Dam crotches him on top. The Five Star hits Sabu but Test comes in and decks Van Dam to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. This might not have been the most interesting match and the ending is about as played out of a triple threat finish as you are going to get, but it was a smart decision. Test isn’t going to win the fan vote, but now he has a reason to get a title shot later on if that’s where you want to go. Given how few options ECW has for a major Lashley match, Test is as good as anyone else they could throw out there at the moment. Smart booking to a pretty weak match.

Post match we get the results of the fan voting:

Van Dam – 45%
Test – 18%
Sabu – 37%

Van Dam is pleased but gets big booted by Test. With Test gone, Van Dam gets up and bows to Sabu, as the big boot might have kept him down for five seconds.

Tazz and Joey wrap it up, with Tazz handing Joey his Christmas present. Joey: “It says Michael Cole and it’s ticking.” Tazz beats up the Christmas tree with a barbed wire baseball bat to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They managed to come pretty close to screwing up a Best Of show here, which really shouldn’t be possible. This was more a quick history of the main stories over the last seven months, with stuff that was actually good left out. ECW didn’t have a banner year in 2006 but they had enough good stuff to get through forty five minutes. That doesn’t bode well for their future, but it isn’t like they have far to fall anyway.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 5, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re officially done with December To Dismember and for all intent and purpose, done with the original version of the relaunched ECW. This is now the third brand instead of something that has any kind of unique feeling to it and that is going to make for a pretty interesting change going forward. Bobby Lashley is now ECW Champion so let’s get to it.

Here is December To Dismember if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley winning the ECW Title inside the Elimination Chamber.

Paul Heyman was in tears after the pay per view, as Big Show is not only the former champion but his blood is also on Heyman’s tie. The rematch is this week….and that’s the last we’ll see of Paul Heyman for five and a half years.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/CM Punk vs. Test/Hardcore Holly

More Chamber fallout. Punk and Van Dam dedicate the match to Sabu because he should have been in the Chamber with him. Holly starts with Van Dam as the lights seem to be flickering a bit. Rob kicks him down to start and hits a split legged moonsault to the back. Test pulls him to the floor though and stomps away, followed by Holly grabbing a suplex for two back inside.

It’s off to Test to hit a basement clothesline for two and Holly comes back in to get kicked in the face. The hot tag brings in Punk to strike away, followed by the bulldog out of the corner. The Alabama Slam is countered into the Anaconda Vice but here are Heyman’s security guards for the DQ.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time to work with here but it kept Van Dam and Punk strong (outside of the Chamber at least). Test and Holly might as well be Goon #1 and Goon #2 at this point, though I’m not sure who is supposed to replace them on the heel totem pole. They’ll do fine for now though.

Post match the beatdown is on but Sabu, with his arm in a sling, makes the save. Van Dam hits a Five Star and Sabu adds the Arabian Facebuster.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Daivari

Rematch from December to Dismember though Dreamer is mostly destroyed after being attacked by Great Khali on Sunday. Daivari dropkicks him down but Dreamer, with his shirt torn to exposed the bandaged shoulder, comes back with a spinebuster. The DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Post match here is Great Khali to beat down Dreamer, including the chokeslam onto a chair.

BUY THE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER REPLAY!

Next week’s show is on Saturday.

Big Show promises to win the title back because it took five people and a bunch of weapons to beat him. Tonight, he is taking the title back. This was as old school talk to the camera style as you are getting in this era.

Kelly Kelly vs. Ariel

Kelly is here by herself and looks terrified. Kevin Thorn is here with Ariel….or at least he is until he is ejected before the match. The catfight is on to start and Kelly grabs a rollup for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match here is Mike Knox with flowers to make peace with Kelly. He apologizes for what he did at December To Dismember and gets on his knees to beg her forgiveness. Then he dumps her and hits a swinging neckbreaker before walking out. Tazz of all people gets in to check on Kelly.

Kane is still in See No Evil and it’s still on DVD.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Show is challenging. Lashley slugs away with right hands to start until an elbow to the face cuts him down. Back up and Lashley starts going after Show’s arm but Show shrugs it off and puts on a kneeling bearhug. Lashley fights out but gets run over with ease and we take a break.

We come back with Lashley’s crossbody being countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for a near fall. Show stands on his back but Lashley manages to come back with a flying shoulder for two. That earns him a kick to the face to give Show two more and there’s a suplex to cut Lashley off again. We hit the abdominal stretch on Lashley with Show adding some right hands to the ribs for a bonus.

With that broken up, Lashley slugs away to little effect as Show puts him on top. A headbutt drops Show and Lashley nails a flying shoulder. More clotheslines put Show down again but the spear is countered with a chokeslam for two. Lashley can’t quite hold him up for a slam but it was close enough for two. A big boot and a clothesline sets up another slam (much better this time) for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull match here that went longer than it needed to. Lashley getting the clean win over Show is a way to remove the basically non-existent doubt over his initial title reign. Show beat Lashley up and Lashley made his comeback to retain. What more else can you ask for in a match like this? This would be it for Show for over a year, so at least he went out putting Lashley over again.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a show but then it’s kind of hard to get overly annoyed at this when everything was changing behind the scenes. I’m curious to see where things go from here, but it isn’t like what happened before all of the changes was all that great. Hopefully the new direction is better, though it’s not like there is any track record around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 28, 2006
Location: HSBC Center, Buffalo New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for December To Dismember and I’ll let the screaming begin now. The show has barely been touched as we have the main event and a lone tag match set, but for some reason that seems to be all we’re getting. This show is screaming BAD IDEA more than almost any I can ever remember so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Paul Heyman, with his security, to explain how the Elimination Chamber is going to work. This one is going to be EXTREME though, because each pod will have weapons. The big new information here: what the weapons are going to be! We’ll have a chair, a crowbar, a table and a barbed wire baseball bat, all of which get a quick demonstration. Violence is promised.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Before the match, Van Dam talks about how he knows the risks in the Chamber but they are worth the reward. Sabu talks about how his scars are his sacrifices, so imagine what he would sacrifice to be champion. Van Dam rolls him up to start and monkey flips him down for two more. Sabu kicks out the knee so Rob kicks him in the face twice in a row. Rob gets crotched on top but manages to crossbody Sabu out of the air to cut off the springboard leg lariat (that was cool).

We take a break and come back with Van Dam being knocked outside where he blocks Sabu’s sunset bomb. The apron moonsault connects (kind of) and Van Dam throws him back inside for a German suplex. Sabu starts going after the knee again but misses the slingshot legdrop. Rolling Thunder connects and, after blocking a springboard tornado DDT, Van Dam nails the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C. I mean, is anyone really buying Sabu as having a chance in the Chamber? Sabu isn’t a big star outside of the original ECW and there is no reason to buy that he is going to win the title here. Having Van Dam win here made a lot more sense and it is a good idea to give him some momentum going into the Chamber.

We recap Bobby Lashley’s debut as he jumped into the Chamber match, plus beating down Big Show last week.

Hardys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Burke sends Jeff into the corner to start so the Hardys come back with the double elbow into a flip dive from Jeff. The legdrop between the legs gets two but it’s off to Terkay to plant Jeff hard. A missed charge into the post cuts Terkay off again and the Hardys double team him down. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Terkay in a hurry (I think that’ll pretty much do it for him and the team).

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to establish that the Hardys are still a thing. I’m not sure you need that to establish that one of the best teams ever is still a thing and I certainly don’t see the need to have Terkay take the fall, but I also don’t think they have put that much thought into anything around here. Other than that, it was a pretty simple squash and not much more.

Post match MNM runs in for the beatdown.

Clips from the December To Dismember press conference. How low level of a reporter would you have to be to draw that assignment?

CM Punk vs. Test

Test drives him into the corner to start and unloads with shots to the face. Punk comes back with forearms of his own but a clothesline cuts him off. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Punk managing to post him, only to have Test come back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The chinlock doesn’t last long and there’s the shot to the face to knock Test outside. A suicide dive drops Test again and they brawl into the crowd for the double countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was only supposed to be a Chamber preview. It says a lot that Test and Punk are allowed to avoid a loss while Sabu took a fall earlier tonight. The double countout makes more sense here as you don’t want someone of note taking a fall before the Chamber, which explains Sabu’s loss.

Test bails from the fight.

Paul Heyman asks Big Show why he is facing Bobby Lashley tonight. My guess is because you, the ECW boss, booked the match?

We recap the MNM beatdown from earlier.

MNM talked to the media about how awesome they are and promise to have a great one night reunion.

Kane is in See No Evil on DVD.

We run down the December To Dismember card. Usually you get a bonus match announced at this point. That isn’t the case with this show.

Another video on the Chamber.

Big Show vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Paul Heyman is at ringside. In an inset promo, Show promises to retain the title on Sunday. Lashley hammers away to start but Show sends him into the corner for the big chop. Show pounds away at the ribs and superkicks Lashley down to break up the comeback bid. After standing on Lashley in the corner, Show loads up the Vader Bomb but Lashley manages a bottom rope…..I guess that’s a superplex, followed by a spear. That’s enough for Heyman, who calls in the security and Test for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, this was nothing more than a way to get these people in the ring as a preview for Sunday. Lashley is probably winning the title as that is the story they have been building up, even if it might seem a bit strange given how recently he arrived. That being said, who else is supposed to get it?

Post match the beatdown is on with Lashley being destroyed, including Show covering him for a count, to end the show. They might as well have handed him the title now given how little they are hiding Sunday’s results.

Overall Rating: C. They set up the show as well as they could, but you can see the cliff coming from here. The entire pay per view is based on one match and it involves Sabu, Test, a mostly unproven CM Punk and Big Show, with Rob Van Dam and Lashley thrown in on the side. MNM vs. the Hardys will be good just because the talent is there, but egads this has all the makings of an awful pay per view.\

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It is the go home show for Survivor Series, but we are also less than two weeks away from December To Dismember. The big story coming out of last week was the debut of Bobby Lashley to finally give ECW a fresh main eventer. Other than that, we have some guest stars this week with the Hardys dropping by. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Bobby Lashley making a surprise debut last week to take what appeared to be Hardcore Holly’s Elimination Chamber spot.

Opening sequence.

Here is Matt Striker in the ring, complete with his classroom, to talk about how scary the Elimination Chamber will be. You shouldn’t have to wait for December To Dismember for the carnage and destruction so tonight he will annihilate Bobby Lashley. Striker offers a comparison between the two, including Lashley doing a tour with the military and Striker doing a tour with the New York City public school system. As Striker (probably accurately) says that his job was more dangerous, here is Lashley to wreck the classroom and get things going.

Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker

Some suplexes and a spear set up the Dominator to beat Striker in about a minute. More competitive than I would have bet on.

Full Blooded Italians vs. Hardy Boyz

This is the Hardys’ first time together in four years. Matt takes Guido into the corner by the arm to start and hands it off to Jeff to stay on said arm. A double leg trip puts Guido down again so it’s off to Tony Mamaluke, who gets caught in the Spin Cycle. The Whisper in the Wind misses though and a pair of elbows to the back gets two on Jeff.

There’s a double belly to back suplex for two but Jeff jawbreaks his way out of a chinlock. The diving tag brings in Matt and it’s time to clean house in a hurry. Matt hits bulldog/running clothesline combination to set up the middle rope legdrop. A middle rope sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker drops Guido and the Swanton is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash and that’s all it was supposed to be. The Hardys being back is a pretty good deal and it would probably draw in some extra eyes to ECW. The whole reunion concept is almost always going to get at least a quick look and the fact that the Hardys are still good helps a lot.

Rob Van Dam comes in to see Paul Heyman (and his security) and agrees that he is willing to do anything to be champion. Heyman threatens to suspend him for showing up unannounced last week but has another idea instead: if Hardcore Holly beats him tonight in their Extreme Rules match, Holly is in the Chamber instead.

Video on Sabu.

Kevin Thorn vs. CM Punk

Ariel is here with Thorn, who shoulders Punk down hard to start. Punk is back with a kick but charges into an elbow in the corner. We hit the early chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back, setting up the Boston crab to keep Punk screaming. Cue Kelly Kelly to cheer Punk on and he quickly reverses into the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Post match the catfight is on with Kelly getting the better of things and Punk kicking Thorn to the floor. We get a hug and here’s Mike Knox to glare from the stage.

Here are Paul Heyman and Big Show for a chat. Show thought the idea of the Extreme Elimination Chamber was crazy because the Elimination Chamber is scary enough as it is. Now we are going to have the most extreme match in history with a bunch of weapons and five challengers, but Show likes his odds. He lists off all of his successful title defenses and says no one can beat him. Cue Bobby Lashley and the fight is on, with Lashley knocking him out to the floor with a belt shot. Just give him the title already.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Test gives Hardcore Holly a pep talk. Let me repeat that: TEST gave someone a PEP talk. Just pack it in now people.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules and if Holly wins, he gets Van Dam’s Chamber spot. Van Dam kicks him in the face to start and then down it again for a bonus. They head outside with Van Dam hitting the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. We take a break and come back with Holly kicking Van Dam into a chair wedged in the corner. Holly puts said chair on Rob’s face and stomps on it for two, followed by a throat first drop onto the open chair.

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Holly hits some forearms to the chest. Van Dam gets in a kick and grabs a chair but gets dropkicked right back to the floor. Back in and Holly puts the chair on Van Dam’s face for the middle rope knee, meaning it’s time for a whipping with a belt.

Rob is back with a kick to the face and the clothesline comeback is on. The monkey flip out of the corner sets up a top rope kick to the jaw. The skateboard chair to the face rocks Holly again but he gets up and chairs Van Dam in the back. Van Dam catches him on top with a top rope superplex onto the chair, followed by the Five Star onto the chair onto Holly for the pin.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going before they started beating each other senseless with one big move after another. It’s also nice to see them not go crazy with the weapons, as the biggest thing here was the chair. Van Dam beating Holly to keep him out of the Chamber (for now) is a good sign, but ECW really likes Holly so you can almost guarantee that this isn’t done yet.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept it to the point here and that’s all they should have done. Survivor Series was only mentioned as the next place for the Hardys to team together, with Knox and Show’s appearances there having no build at all. That leaves us with December To Dismember and the Chamber….with nothing else announced for the card and a single week to go. You don’t think that’s going to be a problem right?

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2006
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and the show is mostly set. That is a rather good situation to have here as WWE is fresh off a European tour so they might not be going as hard as usual. You can always use a nice push towards the pay per view though and that very well may be the case here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Team Cena to get things going. John Cena talks about how they are ready to go but the Big Show had to jump him last week. If that’s the case, then come out here and let’s have this fight right now. Instead it’s Rated-RKO coming through the crowd with their pretty awful remix and the rest of their team. They are ready for Johnny Nitro to win the Intercontinental Title tonight and that is going to give them four champions on their team (plus MIKE KNOX!).

Hold on though as here are Ric Flair and some other legends, with Flair calling out Rated-RKO for winning the titles in a glorified handicap match. Rated-RKO and company are pathetic….and speaking of pathetic, here is the Spirit Squad through another part of the crowd with Kenny saying he has a special cheer for being the youngest Survivor Series captain of all time. Cue Team DX through the crowd, with Shawn Michaels saying we should start the Royal Rumble RIGHT NOW!

HHH offers a quick correction and make jokes about how easy the Spirit Squad really is. Now yeah Cena wants Big Show out here, but HHH saw an open case of Twinkies in the back so he isn’t coming out. HHH introduces his team but Edge cuts off the catchphrase, saying everyone is sick of them. Even Cena must be sick of them! Cena says not exactly, but he’s ready to fight Team Rated-RKO right now.

Instead here is Team Big Show on the stage, so Cena says let’s just have everyone get in the ring and see who is left standing. People start getting in but here is Vince McMahon to interrupt. We aren’t going to have a bunch of individual matches tonight, but we will have an eight man tag captain’s main event. That seems to work with everyone, though I don’t know how much choice they had.

Umaga vs. Sabu

Umaga knocks him down to start and the pace slows in a hurry. Sabu gets knocked outside and then thrown back inside so Umaga can knock him down again. Back up and Sabu hits a few hip attacks, setting up a springboard tornado DDT to rock the monster. That’s about it though as the Spike finishes Sabu in a hurry.

Rating: D. Just a quick squash to make it clear that Umaga is a mask. He does that kind of thing quite well and having him beat up Sabu worked well. Sabu is one of those people who can take a loss without being damaged in any serious way and I can’t imagine he is going to be that big of a factor in the Survivor Series match anyway.

Torrie Wilson is in the ring with the t-shirt gun and Jerry Lawler gets on the table so she can shoot one at him. Cue Chris Masters to say that’s a big gun, but has Torrie ever seen guns like his? Masters knows Torrie can’t break the Masterlock, but he knows some better positions for her anyway. Cue Carlito to interrupt and say that Masters may have big guns but it’s just a little pistol where it counts. Carlito drops Masters and hugs Torrie, which allows Masters to get up with the Masterlock. Lawler makes the save.

Johnny Nitro and Melina dedicate Nitro’s ladder match for the Intercontinental Title against Jeff Hardy to Kevin Federline. They’re winning tonight and then at Survivor Series, and then they are going to party with Kevin Federline after he beats John Cena on New Year’s Day.

Kenny picks Nicky to face Dusty Rhodes tonight. Hold on though as Kenny goes to yell at Ric Flair, who seems to be enjoying the company of Candice Michelle. Candice whispers in Flair’s ear and Flair smiles, but Kenny promises to end him on Sunday. Flair has two words for Kenny: WOO, and Ron Simmons, who is replacing Roddy Piper on Sunday, says the other. Kenny realizes he’s in trouble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Nitro, with Melina, is challenging in a ladder match. They go with some grappling to start until Hardy is sent into the corner. Nitro charges into a raised boot though and Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy sends him outside for the suicide dive and we take a break. Back with Nitro cutting off the climb so Hardy moves the ladder into the corner. For some reason Nitro climbs as well so he gets shoved down in a big crash.

Hardy dropkicks the ladder into Nitro for a nasty crash and goes up, only to have Nitro come up again and kick him down for the crash sequel. Back up and Hardy slams him onto the ladder but the Swanton only hits ladder. Nitro throws the ladder at him and it winds up hanging around Hardy’s head for a pretty awesome visual.

A dropkick drops Hardy and Nitro throws him into the ladder in the corner for another knockdown. Nitro hits him in the back with a ladder but Hardy brings in another one, meaning it’s a double climb. Hardy is fine enough to hit a heck of a sunset bomb down and then hits the signature jump over the ladder into the big legdrop. With Nitro down, Hardy puts the ladder on top of Nitro and climbs up to retain the title.

Rating: B. Rather good TV ladder match here with some pretty cool spots. Hardy winning should end the feud, at least for now, and they have traded the title enough over the last few weeks. You don’t get to see a match that feels this big on regular TV so it was pretty cool for a blowoff to a pretty how feud.

This Week In Wrestling History: Undertaker debuted at Survivor Series 1990.

Dusty Rhodes is ready to do various things to Nicky, including cooking and smoking. There are very few people who can make such nonsense work.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky

They starts slowly with Nicky being smart enough to bail from the threat of the Bionic Elbow. Back in and Nicky gets in a few shots to the ribs to knock Dusty into the corner. A kick to the knee takes Dusty down but he’s back up with a few right hands. The gyrating sets up the Bionic Elbow and the strut into the big elbow drop finishes Nicky.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? Dusty is mostly retired and it isn’t like the Spirit Squad is going to lose much by taking another loss. Nicky is just another name on a list of losers at this point so getting beaten by one of the biggest stars of all time is hardly some career death sentence.

Edge and Lita are enjoying each others’ company but Randy Orton brings Maria in for a question. She asks if the two of them are going to be able to win twice in a row….but there is some kind of hullabaloo in the next room. It’s Cryme Tyme yelling about something so Rated-RKO goes in, with Orton saying they are going to be champions for a long time if this is their competition.

Cryme Tyme calls him a metrosexual and….something else. Orton has no idea what they just said but Edge says he is down with this. He spent a lot of time, ahem, bonding with Whitney Houston videos when he was younger. Maria: “I LOVE WHITNEY HOUSTON!” After a pause over that, Edge promises to make DX just like Cryme Tyme, by beating them black. And blue. Rated-RKO leave but Cryme Tyme stop Maria so they can watch See No Evil together. Maria doesn’t seem interested by they put her on the couch and get rather close to her. Well that got rather creepy in a hurry.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Non-title and Lita has another stipulation: this time Maria has to be blindfolded. Coach puts the hood on her but Mickie gets in a few shots anyway. That doesn’t last long though as Lita knocks her down and hits the DDT. The moonsault (with the leg hitting Mickie in the face) finishes Mickie in a hurry.

Post match Lita grabs the mic and goes on a rant about how awesome she is. She single handedly revolutionized women’s wrestling in WWE. Before her, women were all eye candy but then she brought in moonsaults and Litacanranas. She has sacrificed her knee and her neck while the people yell at her every week. Without her, there is no Mickie James or Trish Stratus because she inspired a generation of women (true, at least on the inspiration part). That’s why it is going to be so easy to walk away on Sunday, because she is retiring after Survivor Series.

Rated-RKO run into Kenny and Big Show, which makes Orton think they are ready.

Here’s a look at the violence on the See No Evil DVD, because now we need the home video pounded into our head too.

Smackdown Rebound.

Survivor Series rundown.

Rated-RKO/Kenny/Big Show vs. D-Generation X/John Cena/Ric Flair

It’s a brawl to start before DX is here to even things up. House is cleaned in a hurry with Edge getting beaten up by all four of the good guys. Big Show saves him from Sweet Chin Music so they beat Show down instead. We take a break and are joined in progress with Kenny slamming Shawn to set up a very quickly broken chinlock.

Orton comes in for some stomping and Show drops the big leg. Edge pulls on both arms at the same time before Orton comes back in….to miss the RKO. That’s enough for the hot tag to Cena and the house is cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Cena hits the FU to finish Kenny in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This felt like they just threw a bunch of people out there at once and hoped for the best, which is not the worst idea in the world. They didn’t want to do anything too big before the pay per view and what we got here was good enough. Cena pinning Kenny isn’t going to hurt him as, again, the Spirit Squad have been portrayed as losers for months. The rest of the people just happened to be there too.

Post match the rest of the teams come in for the big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty good go home show here as it made me want to see the pay per view a lot more than I did before. Having all of those teams out there made for a really cool feeling and having them all in action on Sunday should make for a good show. I liked this more than I was expecting to and you could feel how important the whole thing is going to be when we get to Survivor Series.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: November 14, 2006
Location: Manchester Evening News Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 15,266
Commentators: Joey Styles, Elijah Burke

We’re overseas in what can’t be a common situation for ECW. The big story coming out of last week’s show was Hardcore Holly joining forces with Paul Heyman and company, ending a short term face run. Tonight is a little different though as we find out the sixth entrant in the Elimination Chamber, and it might not be someone from ECW. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Holly’s heel turn and the subsequent beatdown of Rob Van Dam.

Opening sequence.

Here are Paul Heyman and Big Show to the ring, where a table has been set up for a contract signing. After thanking the booing crowd for the irrelevant opinions, Heyman announces the contract signing for the sixth spot in the Elimination Chamber. We see Hardcore Holly walking to the ring but Smackdown’s Bobby Lashley jumps him from behind and comes into the arena. There’s a spear to Big Show for trying to cut him off and Lashley signs the contract to get into the Elimination Chamber. ECW has been dying for fresh faces and Lashley works very well.

Post break, Big Show, Test and Hardcore Holly yell at Paul Heyman, who says he’s going to lawyer up. Tonight, it’s Lashley vs. Holly, who certainly approves.

CM Punk vs. Mike Knox

Kelly Kelly is here with Knox and this is a rematch from last week where Punk won. The arena looks a bit darker for this one as Punk grabs a belly to back suplex to start. Knox is sent to the floor but avoids a slide, meaning Punk kicks him down and right into Kelly. Punk makes the mistake of checking on Kelly, allowing Knox to get in a few shots of his own and catapult Punk into the corner back inside. A clothesline gets two on Punk and we hit the Boston crab (or Manchester crab as Joey tries to be clever).

With that broken up, Knox switches to a double arm crank but Punk knees his way out of a suplex. Some running elbows start the comeback and Punk dropkicks him out to the floor. That sets up the suicide dive but Knox is right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Punk shrugs that off without missing a beat and kicks Knox in the head, setting up the Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C. Knox isn’t exactly proving himself in the ring most of the time as he is being shown to be more and more of a generic heel with very match. He isn’t the worst by far but this deal with Kelly is taking its sweet time and it isn’t like they were the good version of Savage and Liz in the first place. I’m not sure Punk needs Kelly either, but he is on the way up to much bigger things anyway.

Post match, Kelly is rather pleased with Punk.

Matt Striker gives us some famous quotes to send us to a video on the history of the Elimination Chamber.

CM Punk welcomes Bobby Lashley to ECW and says he is looking forward to the Chamber because he will be like a kid in a candy store. It is his time to become ECW Champion.

Wrestlemania tickets are on sale.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari. Dreamer knocks him into the corner to start but Daivari comes back with a shot to the knee. Daivari gets crotched on top but Khali cuts off the DDT and crotches him against the post for the DQ.

Post match Dreamer gets dropped with the chokeslam.

Roddy Piper has a DVD. It’s worth watching for all of the Piper’s Pits alone.

We recap Lashley signing the contract.

Bobby Lashley vs. Hardcore Holly

Paul Heyman, Big Show and Test are all at ringside. Lashley’s Titantron says that he is “soft spoken”. I’m sure it says something else after that, but that might be part of why he hasn’t gotten very far yet. Joined in progress with Lashley unloading in the corner and hitting the one armed delayed suplex. Holly is back up and sends it outside with Lashley being sent into the steps.

Back in and Lashley hits a kind of awkward slam but misses an elbow so Holly can grab the chinlock. Holly goes up but dives into a raised boot so Lashley can start the comeback. A torture rack drops into a backbreaker for two on Holly, who is back up to crotch Lashley on top. The superplex gives Holly two of his own so Holly goes up top, only to get slammed off the top. That’s enough for Big Show to come in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a very good debut for Lashley, as the match looked awkward out there and then it ended in a DQ. You might not want Holly to lose just after his heel turn, but Lashley is a good bit bigger than Holly could ever hope to be. Holly isn’t even going into the Chamber, so this probably should have been Lashley winning after a hard fought match.

Post match the beatdown is on but CM Punk, Sabu and Rob Van Dam run in for the save. The ring is cleared out and Lashley stares Van Dam down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the most thrilling show here with the big focus being on Lashley’s debut. The rest of the show wasn’t much else to see, though it wasn’t like there was much else there in the first place. The Chamber is all set now and that is what matters most, but some better building would be nice over the next few weeks.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: November 7, 2006
Location: Mark of the Quad, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

We’re coming up on December To Dismember and that means the Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming. You might consider this a warning, but we need to have some more participants set for the thing. I’m not sure what else we are going to have on the way there, but this place is in need of something fresh. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Paul Heyman dressing like a gorilla to attack Rob Van Dam from behind. Heyman can be a weird guy.

Opening sequence.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Mike Knox vs. CM Punk

Knox sends Kelly Kelly to the back to make him even more of a heel. They trade shots to the face in the corner to start with Punk kicking him in the head for two. Knox elbows him in the face though and starts stomping away until Punk ties him in the ropes for something close to the Anaconda Vice. The springboard clothesline sends Knox outside and an Oklahoma roll gives Punk two back inside. Knox knees him in the back for two and a backbreaker makes it worse.

We hear about these two being parts of Team Rated RKO and Team DX at Survivor Series as a backbreaker gives Knox two. Punk fights out of a chinlock so Knox powerbombs him down. That doesn’t last long though as Punk is back up with the series of forearms but another backbreaker gives Knox another two. Knox takes him up top but a superplex is broken up, allowing Punk to hit a high crossbody. The Anaconda Vice makes Knox tap.

Rating: C-. This was about all you could have expected, though I can’t imagine this is the end of the feud. Punk is a rising star and Knox could be any muscle headed numskull who is there to stand in his way. The Kelly Kelly factor still needs to be dealt with, but for now this was all it needed to be.

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay are now in ECW. Well they certainly are new.

Here is Paul Heyman, with security and gorilla head, for a chat. He promises announcements tonight but first of all, we take a look at him attacking Rob Van Dam last week. That’s why tonight it’s Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Heyman himself. One more thing: we already have four participants in the Extreme Elimination Chamber and a fifth will be named tonight. Therefore, we’ll have the final name announced next week, and it can be anyone from Raw, Smackdown or ECW.

CM Punk will be on Ghost Hunters tonight.

Daivari vs. Little Guido

Great Khali is here with Daivari and Trinity is here with Guido. It’s a brawl to start with Daivari getting the better of things and ripping at Guido’s face on the ropes. A sunset flip doesn’t do much for Guido as Daivari sends him into the buckle for his efforts. Guido gets in a dropkick for two but it’s the hammerlock DDT to give Daivari the fast pin.

Post match Khali lays out Guido again.

Here’s what John Cena has done to promote the Marine.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Test vs. Tommy Dreamer

Test elbows him in the face in the corner to start but Dreamer is right back with the Cactus Clothesline. That earns Dreamer some rams into the post to keep him in trouble and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. Make it an armbar, followed by a chinlock as Test can’t make his mind up. Dreamer fights up and hits a neckbreaker but the DDT is blocked. The referee misses a low blow from Test and it’s a big boot into the TKO for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another match where there wasn’t a ton of drama coming in but that’s fine. Sometimes you need to just get the job done and that is what they did here. I know Dreamer is the ECW original but is anyone asking to see him in a big time title match? Test might not be much, but he’s higher on the food chain than Dreamer right now.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Paul Heyman

Heyman is in a track suit and has the security with him. Van Dam goes for Heyman to start but gets knocked down by Show, who takes him into the corner. Heyman is bouncing up and down on the apron as Show hammers away on Van Dam. It’s too early to dive over for the hot tag as Show takes him down again and chokes away on the mat. The fans are actually chanting for Holly, which is about as bizarre as you can get.

Holly goes outside to scare security away from Van Dam, causing Heyman to panic and shout about keeping Holly back. A running clothesline drops Van Dam again and Show holds his arms back so Heyman can get in a few slaps. Van Dam tries slugging away and gets dropped with another clothesline. Show misses a charge though and gets caught with a spinwheel kick in the corner. Van Dam gets over for the tag….and Holly turns on Van Dam because of course he does. The referee throws it out as Holly chairs Van Dam down.

Rating: C. They weren’t really hiding what they were going for here as Holly didn’t do anything physical until the end of the match. The more I think about it, the more I think this might be a better move, as Punk is starting to move up the ladder and can be the second face on the show. I know Holly was getting cheered, but he is going to have a pretty firm ceiling above him no matter what. It might not be the best move in the short term, but it is in the long term.

The Alabama Slam onto the chair leaves Van Dam laying to end the show as Styles thinks Holly is working with Heyman to get into the Chamber.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the point here, but rather the fact that they have something to build towards. It gives the show a much needed structure and narrative, which have been lacking for most of its run so far. I’m curious as to who is going to be the final entrant, but they could absolutely use another name from outside to build up the roster. Not a great show, but an encouraging one.

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