Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (2012 Redo): See You Later Steve

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,735
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Dudley Boys, Acolytes

Remember that one of the best of all time debuting tonight? We get a video telling us how awesome his name is and how awesome his life has been so far. His name is Kurt Angle.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Back in and Kurt hits something like a dropkick but is put right back into the chinlock. The hold is broken again and Angle comes back with a powerslam for two. Stasiak hits a lay out F5 but misses a top rope cross body. The Olympic Slam gets the pin and starts one of the hottest rookie years ever in wrestling.

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Val Venis, Mark Henry, Gangrel, Steve Blackman

British Bulldog, Mean Street Posse

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline

Moolah and Ivory “brawl” post match.

X-Pac vs. Kane

Post match Kane gets beaten down until Tori comes out. X-Pac kicks Tori in the face and Kane snaps, sending DX “scattering like quail” according to JR.

The Rock says nothing because HHH shows up and they brawl.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This is during the Boss Man vs. Big Show feud, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Viscera. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the escape to show where their allegiances lie. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, Hollys

Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to try a big dive busts one out with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match for two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

Back inside, Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

We see Austin get run down again.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. ???

Rock and HHH attack Show to start but to no avail. Show shoulder blocks them down but Rock breaks up a chokeslam on the champ. Rock and HHH team up to clothesline Show to the floor but Rock is quickly pulled outside. All three guys wind up on the floor with HHH getting dropped on the barricade. Back in and Show misses a splash in the corner and gets caught in a Russian legsweep for no cover.

Show celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Team Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Team Dudley Boys

Original: B-

Redo: C

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Stasiak

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Team Val Venis vs. Team British Bulldog

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Team Mae Young vs. Team Ivory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Team Big Boss Man

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Original: B

Redo: C+

New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: D

Big Show vs. HHH vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked most of the matches better the first time and the overall rating was higher. Simple and easy, as usual.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/08/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1999-a-lot-happens-here/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1999 (Original): One Night In A Garage

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 1999
Date: November 14, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 18,375
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now this is a show where a year really does make a difference. There’s two major issues with this show. Number one, Kurt Angle is debuting here. He’s been talked about for months and tonight he’s fighting Shawn Stasiak. If we had vbookie back then, that match might set a record for biggest amount of money ever won on a single match. Also, this is the last PPV Austin was on for nearly a year, as he FINALLY took time off to have his neck fixed.

The problem simply was that his neck was destroyed by then and the surgery only helped to a certain extent. Had he had this done two years ago when he should have, he might still be wrestling today. Granted it likely would have been for WCW as Vince would have been out of business without Austin, but that’s whatever. The main event here was supposed to be the showdown we all had been waiting for with HHH vs. Rock vs. Austin for the title, but obviously that couldn’t happen.

HHH is champion here, having won it the night after Summerslam from Foley. A lot of the now familiar faces are here now, such as Angle, the Dudleyz, Chris Jericho and Chyna. The Radicalz would debut in January, more or less crippling WCW once and for all (for those that don’t know, the Radicalz were Perry Saturn, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko and Eddie Guerrero, four of the young studs in WCW that were fed up with never being given a chance in WCW and finally saying screw this and leaving as a unit). Anyway, the card looks fairly good, so let’s do it.

Naturally the intro is about the triple threat that would never come. I’m not sure if I like Vince doing this big of a buildup when he knew that Austin wouldn’t be in it. That’s not quite as bad as Jake and Savage from 91 because 2/3 were in the match, but it’s something you would kind of give a look at. Vince was guest referee for it also. After a very short discussion from Lawler and Ross, we’re ready to go.

Godfather/D’lo/Headbangers vs. Dudleyz/Acolytes

Dang that’s a heck of a heel team. This was when the Dudleyz had just debuted and therefore they were the biggest tag team in the world because the 3D was unlike any move that anyone had seen in forever. At this point Godfather for some reason is one of the most over guys on the roster, which no one will ever get. He has the hos with him and makes his weed references which would NEVER be safe today. Brown is dressed like him too. Oh my stars and garter belts.

Of course the Headbangers are dressed the same way. Oh just take me now. They get ZERO reaction, thank goodness. This was still when Bubba was a stutterer with a big southern accent and D-Von wore overalls, so it’s the best they’ve ever been. Bubba is incredibly funny asking the Godfather for the hoes instead of a match. Godfather is incredibly stupid sounding telling him no. I don’t remember that Acolytes music.

The APA gimmick was coming soon, but not quite here yet. We start with Mosh against Bubba, which spells the whole match in a nutshell. Apparently Mosh has an amateur background. Did that blow anyone else’s mind but me? You can clearly see fans leaving the arena to get popcorn or beer or something, so you can tell how good this match is. After a Clothesline From JBL, Thrasher is gone and it’s 4-3.

Who would have thought that in five years Bradshaw would be world champion? Immediately after Bradshaw turns around Mosh hits a top rope cross body which gets a two. What, did you actually think that was going to work? Teddy Long is a referee here. That’s just humorous. If nothing else, Mosh is trying. He’s not very good, but he’s trying at least. I’ll give him credit for that.

Not everyone can have a 5 star classic, but I’ll give big credit to people that are working hard out there trying to do something, and that’s what Mosh was doing. I say was doing because the 3D makes it 4-2. That leaves us with D’lo and Godfather against four guys. Brown does something very simple but also very smart. He hits that legdrop he does and covers Bubba, but he looks straight at his opponents’ corner. That’s very intelligent when you think about it.

If you’re trying to sell this match, then you want to cover the intelligence factors of it. By making sure that he’s not going to get jumped, D’lo is doing that. It’s a tiny thing but it makes a big difference. Now let’s get to the stupid stuff because you know it’s coming. Bradshaw pops Brown and Bubba with some SICK chair shots to be DQed. Farrooq and D-Von now fight over who should get the pin.

In the stupidest part of this, D-Von covers him and Farrooq drops a leg on him. He looks at D-Von who is up and then covers as well. Yeah that’s going to go well. They brawl to the back and are apparently counted out, which just like in 1994, DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Neither guy is legal, so it’s exactly the same thing as standing on the apron. That’s just stupid, but anyway it’s 2-1 now. I’ve always loved Bubba’s side slam. It just looks sweet all around.

Bubba is completely destroying him here, but Brown escapes long enough to tag in…and I hate having to say this…the former Intercontinental Champion, who dominates for a bit before hitting the crappy splash in the corner to set up the Low Down for the pin. I really hate these guys. Make that I hate Godfather. At least Brown had some cool moves. Only here in this time frame would this be the intelligent booking to go with. The ho dance takes us to the next segment.

Rating: B-. The booking makes ZERO sense from modern perspective, and there really was no point to the Headbangers being there. They split up soon enough anyway. Godfather was for some reason considered a somewhat big deal for reasons that mere mortals like myself can’t comprehend. The Dudleyz would soon be where they belonged, but here they were rookies to the company. It was an ok match with everyone working hard, so I’ll take it I guess as a decent opener.

We get a video package on Kurt Angle. This is pure greatness as he is this arrogant jerk but he acts like the all American boy. It’s just awesome. His resume really is awesome when you think about it. I’m so used to seeing him bald that it’s weird seeing him with a full head of hair. Also, this was back when Angle had that pleasant little thing called sanity.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Kurt Angle

Let the jobbing begin. I have never heard more generic music in my life. Apparently his big claim to fame is being the son of a transitional world champion. Oh dear. Angle’s introduction is all impressive and a listing of his accomplishments which is just comical. He’s so clean cut that it’s great considering what he was going to become. Angle had a great advantage to him just as all other “real” wrestlers have.

They need less seasoning and training because they have the amateur background to fall back on. He can learn as he goes but can just go out there and do basic suplexes and holds etc. while not really having learned a lot. It can be called adjusting to the new style, which is actually true. They describe Stasiak as no slouch, and you know what that means. They go onto the mat, and in something that shocks me, Stasiak keeps up with him. That’s very surprising.

Angle hits a textbook overhead belly to belly and gets NOTHING. The fans are chanting for the Redwings because they’re idiots. This is proof of everything that’s wrong with the Attitude Era. Angle and Stasiak just did a very fast paced and crisp mat sequence and then went into a standard wrestling sequence with Angle playing to the crowd very well. However because no referee got bumped and no cursing was done and no weapons were used, the fans hate it. That to me is hogwash.

I was impressed by what I just saw, but apparently it’s boring. And that my friends is why the Attitude Era sucked. It was about drama and not wrestling. That’s just awful all around. Angle and Benoit and Jericho saved the sport more than anyone else because they got in there and just put on classic after classic after classic and it got the fans more interested in the athleticism they were seeing.

Angle has a great look to him with the red white and blue being the most basic outfit you can have and it simply doesn’t fail. Oh he also came out to what used to be Patriot’s music that is now known as his. The fans are DEAD other than a boring chant. In the middle of the match, Angle hits the floor and cuts a promo about how you don’t boo an Olympic gold medalist because he’s the best in the world.

That’s simple but effective. JR brings up a point that’s been argued many times over on these forums: the fans paid their money and can cheer or boo for whomever they want. At the risk of starting a page long debate, I’ll go with I agree with him. People love and cheer for Darth Vader. That doesn’t mean he’s a horrible character. Anyway, Stasiak whispers spots to Angle while in a chinlock.

Angle has a SWEET counter to what I think was a scoop slam from when he came off the ropes as he spins around completely and lands on his feet. It’s hard to describe but it looked awesome. Stasiak could have been decent if pushed right. That’s the big issue: he was just boring. He hits what we would call a slightly modified F5 with the only difference being he throws his body backwards and lands on his stomach instead of next to next to Angle on his back.

It worked fairly well for him though. This is his PPV debut as well apparently. He hits the rotating belly to back suplex for the pin. He gets booed and just doesn’t understand it which is a great character to say the least.

Rating: C+. For a future superstar making his debut, this was ok, but it needed to be maybe a minute shorter. Stasiak being on offense for the most part makes sense here, as he’s more experienced so it makes sense that Angle takes a bit to adjust to him. Also, it makes sense that he carries the match since Angle is a rookie. This was fine, but the fans disappoint me with how jaded they are.

We get a clip from Heat where HHH tried to get Austin and Rock beaten up which failed completely.

Val Venis/Gangrel/Mark Henry/Steve Blackman vs. British Bulldog/Mean Street Posse

The Posse was a group of Shane’s friends that won I think a combined four matches in the company. Venis is the embodiment of everything that was wrong with the Attitude Era, and he’s one of the most remembered stars of it. Despite how over the top his character was, he really was a solid wrestler and there are rumors he was the official test run for new wrestlers. Allegedly, Vince would have Venis wrestle new guys to see if they had anything. A lot of jobs could have been won or lost based on his recommendations. Granted that’s just a rumor so it very well could be false, but it makes sense when you think about it. I have no clue what the point of this match is, but whatever.

My best guess would be to get Val more over. Ross says that they have nothing in common, so at least it’s not something I’m missing. Henry is the Hershey Bar of Love at this point. Gangrel, despite being completely and utterly awful at anything wrestling related, does have one of the sweetest entrances of all time. I’m still not sure if I like Blackman or not. I used to hate him but the more I see of him the more I think I like him.

For no apparent reason after the faces come out we see a graphic for the match which JR sums up quite well: “There’s your match.” Bulldog was gone in about 6 months after this. He’s European Champion at this point. The Posse is comprised of Pete Gas, Joey Abs and Rodney. They’re as generic as their names imply. We start with the two most talented guys in the match, Bulldog and Venis. Actually they might be the only two talented guys in the match.

Since it’s the Survivor Series, we get a Montreal reference. Lawler of course asks for details. That delayed suplex is just a thing of beauty. That’s real strength. Pete comes in and naturally gets his head handed to him. He gets some decent stuff in to be fair, but the gimmick was just never going to work in the end. Blackman comes in and ends Pete with a bicycle kick. That was short and sweet I guess.

Ross simply does not like the Posse. “He looks like he went to a barber college and went to the guys with bad grades.” Where in the world does he come up with these things? Oh dear it’s Rodney vs. Gangrel. This could set wrestling back 100 years. It only sets it back 50 or so as Joey misses a shot to Rodney and Gangrel hits the Impaler to end him. Edge really needs to go back to that. It just looks awesome on so many levels.

It’s 4-2 for those of you that are wondering. Joey is in now, and he’s by far the most talented of these guys as he had some wrestling experience before coming to the WWF. Joey actually picks up Mark Henry to drape him over the top rope. That wasn’t bad. Joey is gone soon after though due to a massive splash. As I’ve said on so many occasions: if you use a splash that’s not from the top rope as a finisher, you likely suck.

Henry catches Bulldog coming off the ropes in a press slam, but doesn’t get him all the way up and kind of throws him. Not only did that look bad, but it was fairly dangerous. Henry probably expected a raise for it. Bulldog is up holding his shoulder so apparently I might be right. He catches the incredibly agile Gangrel on the top and suplexes him down for the pin. We get a Cleveland Indians reference, which Lawler quickly corrects.

In one of the DUMBEST refereeing moves I’ve ever seen, Bulldog hits a PerfectPlex on Blackman for the pin. That’s fine on paper, but Blackman’s arm is AT LEAST 6 inches off the mat and right in front of the referee. Ok, I can understand missing something minor but that was just horrendous. My mouth actually opened at the sight of that. After that horribleness, we’re back to Val and Bulldog. The faces double team him as Lawler asks what they’re doing.

Ross’ response: it looks like Val and Mark Henry are double teaming the Bulldog. Just a guess.” That was funny. Dang I just thought JR was funny. I need more sleep. Val hooks a small package, which there has to be a joke about somewhere. Naturally JR becomes a jerk a few seconds later so I knew it wasn’t going to last. Both guys hit splashes on him to end this. The sex jokes start up as I wince at them.

Rating: D+. This was a big step down from the earlier match. It just seemed pointless as even Ross said there was nothing in common between the faces. I fail to see the point in this match, but it’s the late 90s so that’s likely the point. Val and Bulldog were the only decent wrestlers out there, so yep, we have an Attitude Era match. This just wasn’t really needed.

Michael Cole more or less barges into the Divas (not called that yet) locker room where Ivory throws herself at him. Naturally, Cole leaves. This was pointless.

Mae/Moolah/Debra/Tori vs. Ivory/Luna/Jackie/Terri

This isn’t Torrie Wilson mind you, but the original psycho fan Tori that was rather hot at times, but set a new record for how bad a women’s wrestler could be. This is one fall, thank goodness. This was two months before the legendarily creepy moment where Mae was topless on PPV somewhere in her 80s. Naturally, Wrestlezone had a link up where you could see the pics. Ok I only looked twice. It’s not that big of a deal.

Yep, Tori looks insanely hot. She’s Kane’s girlfriend at this point. Debra gets a MASSIVE pop. We cut to a shot of Lawler which is cracking me up with how big his eyes are. Lawler’s jokes about Moolah and Mae are quite funny. Ross says Moolah used to have a figure like Miss America. According to Lawler she’s lost a lot of Canada and gained a lot of Mexico. Think about that one for a minute and you’ll get it. I’ve never liked Jackie. She’s just annoying.

Luna is apparently a few sandwiches short of a picnic. All of these girls’ music sounds exactly the same. Ivory is Women’s Champion at this point, having both amazingly and pathetically beaten Moolah for the belt a few weeks before this. Moolah and Mae would both be 76 at this point. Yeah it’s pathetic. Why would Vince allow them to wrestle? That’s just stupid. Sadly, they’re the 2nd and 3rd best workers out there regardless of age, and they’re just behind Luna.

Jackie might be better but I hate her so she’s out. Terri is managing the Hardys right now, as they won the Terri Invitational Tournament. It was just them vs. Edge and Christian in a best of seven series culminating in a ladder match, but it did what it was supposed to do. This is a pure T&A match here. Good grief they’re STILL on the introductions. Even money says they’ll go longer than the match. We get the standard warning from JR that this might not be pretty. Please just make it short.

They actually throw Mae through the ropes to the floor. This is just ridiculous. I don’t care if they say they can do this or not. They’re in their 70s and don’t belong anywhere NEAR a freaking ring. Thankfully we move on to Tori vs. Jackie. Reread that and let it sink in. That’s something you may never read again, period. The level of sloppiness in this match hasn’t been invented yet.

Jackie and Luna botch a tag. You read that correctly. They missed a FREAKING TAG. How is that possible? You slap the other person’s hand. It’s really not that complicated. I’ve seen monkeys that can do it. I’ve seen infants that can do it. I’ve even seen mods that can do it, yet they botched it. Tori slows down to duck a double clothesline, and now Moolah (accidentally called Lillian) is back in.

After slamming Ivory (rather impressive actually), they hit what was supposed to be a double clothesline to pin her. They put their hands together and dropped to their knees for it. It’s worse than it sounds. No one gets that it’s over which I think was because they just ended it while it was only embarrassing. Terri gets her top ripped off to end this idiocy. Apparently not as we have a brawl. Just end it, please.

Rating: N/A. To allow two women in their late 70s into a wrestling ring and have them try to compete is completely and utterly appalling. It’s irresponsible and ridiculous to say the least and Vince should be ashamed of himself for it. I’m disgusted by this.

We get an ad for WWF.com. It’s a blind guy walking around and another guy shifts him so that he gets hit by a bus. That…was stupid.

Lillian Garcia, who looks a heck of a lot hotter here if that’s possible, talks to the now heel X-Pac. He says he carried Kane. He sounds drunk.

X-Pac vs. Kane

I’ve always loved X-Pac’s music. We get a quick interview from earlier in the night where Tori talks for Kane. Naturally, Tori references something that X-Pac wouldn’t talk about for about two hours so there we go. Kane is rocking the alternate costume tonight with mostly black and a bit of red. I’ve always liked that one better. The basic story here is X-Pac and Kane were tag champions, they lost two matches and Pac split.

X-Pac had been mainly wrestling giants and it was around this time that he became completely hated. I wonder if there’s a connection there. By jove I think there is! Naturally Kane starts off by dominating but Pac lands a kick to the face to slow him down. Shockingly enough, Tori is blamed for this. Pac hits a sweet kick as they debate Kane’s alleged impotence. Who feeds them these lines?

He goes for the Bronco Buster and gets choked into a backbreaker. When Kane hits that top rope clothesline right, it is an absolute thing of beauty and one of my favorite moves ever. Kane hits the chokeslam and assumes the position to be pulled out and there’s Road Dogg to do so. To do so is fun type. X-Pac hits the X-Factor and Kane uses the power kickout because that move is just garbage of the highest quality. Or would it be lowest quality? Eh whatever.

Kane sets for a tombstone but HHH runs out and hits him with the belt for the DQ. Now that’s the kind of heel stable leader that children can be proud of: one that runs in and nails a guy with a belt to save his teammates. Learn something Orton (assuming Legacy is still together in two months’ time). Lawler says that Kane has always wanted to be the WWF Champion.

I know it was short Jerry, but can you at least remember who has been World Champion and who hasn’t? DX sets him up for the dreaded Bronco Buster because you know, it’s deadly and painful, but Tori runs, or bounces I guess, to the ring. X-Pac kicks the heck out of her, allegedly by accident.

This awakens Kane to kill Pac but he bails. Naturally Tori would leave Kane soon enough to become X-Pac’s girlfriend in about a week despite him kicking her in the face. JR says that DX is scattering like quail. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS JR ON?

Rating: C+. This was barely over four minutes so it’s hard to grade. Kane beat on Pac, so that’s a good sign I suppose. It was a brawl (in the Attitude Era? YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!) for the most part with Kane just beating the living tar out of him for the most part. The run in was pretty stupid, but I guess it was required to keep the feud going. I hate it, but it had to be done I suppose.

They show a replay of the kick, and it’s so far off that Lawler slips up and can’t finish his line of how solid that kick was without a pause. It’s that bad. This is why they need to screen those replays. That was abysmal.

Cole is with Rock as we cue the big pop. Before he can talk though, HHH shows up and the brawl is on.

Send in your cable bill and get a free Rock pendent. Again, this is a good idea that they should bring back. It’s not going to kill them to throw out some Cena wristbands or something like that.

Big Show vs. Prince Albert/Mideon/Viscera/Bossman

Mideon has his face painted which looks very odd. Boss Man and Show were in the middle of an angle where Boss Man was tormenting Show because Show’s father passed away. It would lead to a match on PPV which was horrible. It eventually led to the great line of “Big Show, you’re a bastard and your mama said so!” That’s a great line, period. We see Boss Man reading a sympathy card for Show’s dad and with the deadpan delivery, it’s awesome.

We get another great scene where Boss Man interrupts Show’s father’s funeral (for those that don’t remember, Show was said to be the son of Andre the Giant, so in other words it’s taken 6 and a half years to bury Andre. I love the redoing of storylines.) and tying the casket to a car. Show gave chase and is dragged off on top of the casket. It’s out of a bad comedy movie and cracks me up every time. Boss Man is hardcore champion at this point.

Also, Show was supposed to have Kai En Tai and Blue Meanie as partners, but he beat them up so this would be a handicap match. At least they didn’t really let them do that match as it would have made less sense than the Val/Bulldog team. Naturally, we have a replay of it. Heat used to be awesome. Stuff actually happened on it which never happens anymore. The people pop for Show fairly well, which turns out to be a good thing.

Show also has long hair here, which takes a bit of getting used to. Show knocks down Albert (A-Train) and then spins around looking for someone else to hit in a funny spot. After that, Show hits three chokeslams and the best big man bodyslam I’ve ever seen on Viscera inside of 30 seconds to eliminate three guys not named Big Boss Man, who runs for the count out.

Rating: N/A. I can’t grade a minute and a half match, but Show was AWESOME here. This is how Show should have been booked his entire career as he just ran through three good sized men with absolute ease. He picked up Viscera and slammed him with absolute ease. I mean he looked like he was slamming X-Pac or something. The booking was there, the pops were there, and this was the time to do something with Big Show. Alas, nothing would come of it.

Buy Armageddon. Steve Austin will be there.

Kevin Kelly is with Austin, but before he can talk HHH jumps him. In a funny looking spot he punches Austin and takes a sip of water. That just looked odd. Austin chases him while putting his hat on. Road Dogg and X-Pac are running as well, and Austin is in the parking garage. He looks up, and THAT CAR JUST RAN OVER AUSTIN!

Yes, this is the infamous car angle where Austin was hit by a speeding car in a hit and run that put him on the shelf for nearly a year, paving the way for Rock and HHH to rise up to the top of the company. Note: Rock only got as big as Austin when there was no Austin there. This became the top angle in the company next summer as the hunt was on for who ran him down. This was the height of the Attitude Era and their true life angles.

Vince is seen sprinting to the garage to check on Austin, as do Stephanie, her boyfriend/fiancé Test and eventually HHH. Vince sees HHH and immediately accuses him of being the driver which he denies. Ross has gone to the back as well, so Lawler asks the question that would become the million dollar question for the next year or so: who was driving the car? Like I said, this was the excuse used for Austin to go off and have neck surgery that he desperately needed, albeit back in 1997.

HHH and DX keep saying they had nothing to do with this. This angle was fairly well hidden from the IWC, but they knew that Austin would not be wrestling in the main event that night. Now that brings up another question that I’ll get to when we get to the main event.

Anyway, the main thing here is the angle of who was driving. We would find out in the fall of 2000. I can’t remember who it was, but someone mentions that the driver had blonde hair. Commissioner Mick Foley plays detective and eventually deduces who it was based on something Scotty 2 Hotty says. Scotty said something along the lines of he and Grand Master were with Rikishi partying that night.

Mick uses this information to deduce that it was Rikishi that was driving, based on the fact that Rikishi hadn’t debuted yet. This was an issue for two reasons. Number one, so what if he hadn’t debuted yet? Too Cool can’t have non-wrestling friends? Number two, Rikishi already had debuted on Jakked, which aired the night before Survivor Series. The second one I can excuse, because the show came on at 2am and it wasn’t something everyone got.

Also, it was a year ago and not a lot of people are going to remember a specific Saturday night at 2am a year ago, so that’s ok. The explanation of how Foley knew it was Rikishi never made sense to me, but whatever. He claimed that he did it for the Rock, his cousin, because Rock was being held down by the white man. Yes, that’s what they went with. Austin came back and Rikishi was the number two heel in the company. The story BOMBED.

This happened for about a million reasons. First of all, it made zero sense. Just reread the storyline and tell me how it’s a good idea. Second, all signs pointed to HHH. It made sense for it to be HHH. It should have freaking been HHH. Finally, IT’S FREAKING RIKISHI! What in the heck can Austin do with someone like Rikishi? That became the problem. He was just too fat to do anything with.

After about eight seconds the company figured this out and switched it up so that Rikishi was just working on HHH’s orders. That at least made sense. It led to a short HHH vs. Austin feud, but in the end it was really a short length feud, which I guess was ok as those two have always hated each other. Either way, this blew the doors off the hinges for awhile as it was the hottest story in the sport. I think the main reason it failed was because of Rikishi.

It just made zero sense as he went from being a fat midcard guy that was a comedy character to a criminal mastermind helping his cousin because of race overnight. That just doesn’t work. HHH would have been perfect for the master villain, because it’s totally something he would have done.

It was still ok, but it could have been light years better. They at least tried though and I’ll give them credit for that. I can’t imagine they had Rikishi planned the whole time, as they had about 10 months before they had to explain it.

They really handled this part of the show well as this looked very real. You have to factor in that this was the first time that something like this had been done, so it blew our minds. It wasn’t something like Vince having the set fall on him or something stupid like that. This was a huge deal at the time and it came off perfectly.

And with no transition, let’s keep going.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Chyna is the first ever female IC Champion. Now at the time, this was a HUGE deal. This was one of the biggest angles of the year as I think it even got some mainstream coverage. It really is a big deal when you think of it. Can you imagine today say Mickie James feuding with John Morrison and having a legit chance of beating him?

That’s absurd sounding right? This worked, and was a big deal on so many levels. On top of that, the matches were good. And on top of that, Chyna and Miss Kitty looked hotter than any two humans should be allowed to be. Oh yeah the match.

Jericho is getting bigger and bigger pops every time he comes through the curtain. JR is back and clearly is a good bit shaken up. They go at it immediately and Jericho shoves Kitty down. Jericho was more or less replacing Jarrett in this feud. I think that’s a major upgrade for them. Loud Jericho chant starts up.

Chyna winds up on the floor as this is starting kind of slowly. Jericho hits a dive to take her out as Ross talks about Austin more. I can accept it this time though as it’s a major deal. Lawler tells him to be a professional. That’s rather unfunny. Jericho sends her into the table and the announcers get chivalrous all of a sudden.

Missile dropkick gets two. More Austin talk from Ross as Jericho is dominating. Jericho does the foot on chest cover for two. The fans boo Chyna a bit and pop big for Jericho and they actually reference it on commentary. Lawler says they booed the gold medalists here for Christ’s sake. It’s weird hearing that on commentary in WWE no matter what era.

Clothesline puts Chyna on the floor as impressively this isn’t getting boring. He kisses Kitty which ticks off Jerry a bit. Chyna finally wakes up a bit and takes down Jericho to even more booing. Jericho gets a powerbomb for only two. We reference a boxing match from last night as Vince couldn’t be happier than to be bigger than boxing.

Apparently Jericho has said he’ll get a sex change if he loses. Handspring elbow and DDT get two. Down goes the referee and Jericho pops her with the title which was in the corner ala a WCW belt. Never been a fan of that. That only gets two though as Jericho is stunned.

Pedigree gets two. It’s not everyday he can kick out of that so he better use the opportunity while he has it. The Walls go on and the title is in trouble. She gets close to the ropes but is dragged back into the middle before crawling back and getting them the second time. They fight to the corner and Chyna gets a Pedigree off the middle rope for the pin. Dude, did Punk copy Chyna?

Rating: B. Now that’s more like it! That right there is the biggest reason why the feud worked: the matches were good. You could see very clearly though that Jericho would have to turn face soon though as his pops were just off the charts. It makes me feel better to know that at the end of the day, no matter how many stupid angles or whatever is going on, the crowd will react best to solid wrestling, and that’s what they got here.

At no time during this match did Chyna’s gender make it seem like she was weaker, not once. That’s a big vote of confidence in Chyna as well. Not only was she given the Intercontinental Title, but she had a decent run with it. I think she held it three times, and she defended it on PPV. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Vince has a huge midcard and he picked her to be the champion of it. That’s saying a lot. Solid match.

Test, Shane and Stephanie are in the locker room and DX comes in. Once again they deny doing anything. I think everyone knew that HHH had something to do with it, but we weren’t sure what. HHH asks if it’s a triple threat still and gets thrown out.

Hardy Boys/Edge and Christian vs. Hollies/Too Cool

Holy one sided match Batman! Or at least it should be, but since it’s four wrestlers against four gimmick guys, I’d be willing to bet on how this is going to go. Everyone knew that the more famous teams here were going to be something very special, but no one knew what was coming. Edge and Christian come through the crowd which is just always cool looking. Scotty just looks flat out stupid. Edge of course looks cool.

Ross says he can’t get his mind into the match. That makes sense. Lawler saying that it’s not a big deal is a lot funnier than it sounds. I certainly wouldn’t believe that three of the four would become world champions within ten years, and arguably all four have. That’s impressive. It’s so strange to see these guys being the young studs that steal the show instead of being the names put on the signs that sell tickets to the shows.

Ross keeps talking about Austin, which for once doesn’t bother me. When Schiavone and Heenan would talk about everything but the match all of the time it would drive me insane. Here, it’s at least mainly about the match and then a few moments about Austin. I will never forget a Nitro where the TV Title changed hands and literally, the first mention of the 8 minute match was to say there was a new champion.

Other than that, it was ALL about the main event. That’s just disrespectful. I can understand it when a major thing happens like this, but not for a TV main event. Lawler is just flat out mean here and I’m loving it. He’s talking about Grand Master the whole time, and this is before it’s revealed that it was his son. I think it’s more like the worst kept secret in wrestling at this point, as Lawler is making little jokes here and there about it.

For the second time tonight we lose a cameraman. Edge spears all three heels other than Scotty. I think Too Cool are heels, but I’m not sure. It’s not a heel gimmick if nothing else but whatever. I think the more famous team are supposed to be tweeners at this point.

Edge misses a spear and hits Matt with it instead, leading to him being rammed into by Jeff, which leads to Edge getting rolled up and pinned. Scotty hits a move that I’ve always thought would be cool. He gets on the top rope and dives forward like a front dropkick, but catches Matt’s head on the way down to pull him into a DDT to eliminate him, making it 4-2 all of a sudden. The Worm gets ZERO reaction, as Too Cool are indeed heels here. I thought so.

Yeah the famous guys are faces indeed here. I guess having Terri made me think they were heels. What am I saying? She was good looking so she must have been popular back then since that’s all that mattered. Ross doesn’t know what a hippie is. Oh come on now JR. It’s Oklahoma not Iceland. Ross threatens to give Lawler one finger which causes an audible chuckle from the King.

Ok, I can almost buy that Ross has never heard of hippies. But to imply that he’s never heard of Roy Rogers? Oh I don’t think so. What kind of man that wears a cowboy hat doesn’t know who Roy Rogers is? The Hollies start fighting which allows Jeff to hit a 450 on Scotty for the pin. He hadn’t started using the Swanton yet so that was his big move. I don’t get why he changed it. It’s not like the 450 was bad or something.

Maybe there was an injury along the way or something. Either way, he should have stuck with the 450. If nothing else it looks better. Just to be amusing, Lawler talks about how Ross has no sympathy for his best friend Austin because he keeps talking about the match. That’s just great stuff. When Lawler is on his game there’s no one better on the mic than him.

Christian and Jeff go for Poetry in Motion but Hardcore is waiting on the top rope to nail a dropkick onto Jeff in midair in a sweet looking spot. That was really cool. Grandmaster hits a legdrop from the top onto Jeff’s body to pin him, which should make him a world title contender I suppose. May the wrestling gods perish the thought. As he dances Christian grabs him and hits the reverse DDT to make it 2-1. That was quick.

Christian still doesn’t belong at the top of the food chain though. It’s the Hollies vs. Christian. JR asks King why he’s such a jerk. I’ve always wondered that myself. Tim White tells Crash to get out which makes me chuckle. After a short mini match, Christian pins Crash with the Unprettier, known to you rookies as the Killswitch Engaged.

I wonder why they named it after the band that does CM Punk’s song. Lawler will just not let up on Ross. Holly stops a victory roll to pin Christian about 30 seconds later in a very surprising win in my eyes. Granted that may be hindsight.

Rating: B. This was the spotfest match of the night and it worked very well. Those four guys were the future of the company, but I don’t think people thought it would take as long as it did for that to happen.

Either way, they were the hottest acts in the world and once they were paired with the Dudleys, they went through the roof. As for the match, it was fast paced and full of big spots, but that’s what these guys were best at and it was on display here in a good but not really deep match if that makes sense.

Shane, Test and Stephanie say that Austin didn’t lose consciousness, despite Ross saying he did when he was with him. Shane says there will still be a triple threat match, but it won’t have Austin in it. There’s a short rant/explanation coming on that later.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

What a great tag match before we get to the main event. The Outlaws are just past their height of popularity here, but they’re still way up there. The more I see of Road Dogg the more I like him I think. He’s just great on the mic every time you hear him talk and his in ring work wasn’t bad at all. The speculation of who the third man will be begins as Lawler wants to know who was driver. Lawler thinks it was Billy.

It wasn’t, but that would have made more sense than Rikishi. These arguments sound like something out of South Park. Mankind says that Austin is a tough son of a gun and after the match they’ll be going to check on him, but until then all they’ll be thinking about are the New Age Outlaws. This was around the time also that a Snow action figure was banned from Wal-Mart because one of those stupid parent’s groups decided that Head was a severed woman’s head.

You know because there’s so much blood and everything on it. Wal-Mart pulled it because they didn’t want to hear a bunch of whiny old women complaining and moaning about something else. Snow was thrilled by it for some weird reason. Mankind returned Head to him on Smackdown, which Ross of course describes as “Mankind gave Snow Head on Thursday”, because gay jokes are the funniest thing in the world right?

I mean that’s what commentators are for right? To crack stupid jokes. I really hate this era. Foley’s book had just come out too, which really was a good read. Lawler is in top form here with his insults and needling of Ross. Snow hits a pretty sweet looking jumping Downward Spiral as they discuss the Wal-Mart thing. Apparently they even mentioned it on SNL. That’s not bad.

Snow pops Road Dogg with a special Survivor Series chair. Only in professional wrestling is a souvenir steel chair a perfectly reasonable idea. The fans are really bored with this and I can understand that completely. There’s just nothing going on here. Foley was just about done here, with only the big feud with HHH left to end his career. Billy wrestling with a shirt on just looks odd for some reason.

Ross says that the Outlaws might be the best tag team ever. That’s just freaking stupid, but whatever. The tag tournament will be over by the time this is posted, so there we are. They blame Snow’s ineptness on the Wal-Mart thing instead of the fact that he just wasn’t that good at this point in his career. Billy gets the Fameasser which gets two.

Mankind gets up and hits the double arm DDT (called a suplex by JR, continuing his time honored tradition of only the best commentary that has ever been uttered by deities like himself) as Snow hits the Snow Plow, but after hitting both of their finishing moves, there’s no cover because Foley needs to get the sock.

I hate excesses like this. There’s just no point to them at all. To be fair it does get the crowd awake a bit. Billy gets out of it and Snow pops him with Head, but no pin. The Outlaws get a spike piledriver on Foley to end this.

Rating: D+. This was just boring until the end. I mean nothing happened for the most part. It was just random bad offense between four guys that just weren’t into this at all. This certainly shouldn’t have been the second to last match of the night as the fans are just a bit dead. This was nothing of note and the ending was just there.

They tell us the same things we heard earlier about Austin and we see it again. Oh another note that I forgot to mention: allegedly it was Rock’s car that hit him, but Rock said his car was stolen earlier in the night. That makes sense at least.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH vs.???

Rock comes out to bring the fans back to life which should be considered a miracle. Vince isn’t here to be guest referee either so this is screaming for Montreal 3. That big belt really looks awesome on a ton of levels. It’s more or less a given here that whoever the mystery guy is will become the new champion. That’s just how wrestling works. Now, as for the who it would be, every, and I mean every, sign on the face of the planet pointed to this being Test.

Think about it. At the time he had been moving higher and higher up the card, he had been feuding with HHH to a certain extent so the story is there, he was Stephanie’s fiancé (the infamous wedding was two weeks after this), and he was seen with Shane when Shane said it would still be a triple threat. Putting the title on Test for a two week run or maybe even a one day run, as ridiculous as it sounds now, would have made a lot of sense at the time actually.

He was one of the hottest young guys in the company, he was having solid matches, it fit with the storylines and he was very popular. Everything on the planet would have made you believe it would be Test. It’s not Test. It’s the Big Show. I remember seeing this and being confused but excited. Show at the time was young, new and awesome because they booked him right.

They rarely let him be in a match very long and it made him look unbelievably dominant. HHH is TICKED. Rock isn’t sure what to do. Naturally they jump him early which makes perfect sense. He hits an awesome looking diving double clothesline to take them out. I’m liking this. Show was the big monster at this point and this was working really well. He’s also a lot slimmer at this time so he looks like the monster that they always build him up to be today.

Show is throwing HHH around which is just impressive. Amazingly enough, we hit the floor less than three minutes into the match. At least they gave the in ring stuff a real chance this time. They say Show is the biggest man in WWF history at 7’2 and 500lbs. That’s just completely wrong but whatever.

They get him down and Rock hits the People’s Elbow which apparently would have been a three if HHH hadn’t made the save. Yeah I’ll buy that one. Show and HHH double team the Rock for just a bit. Never mind we’re back to Show vs. HHH on the floor of course. Le sigh we’re going back to the entrance way for more brawling. HHH gets slammed through some random table that was just sitting there for no apparent reason.

My video freezes a bit in the middle of a JR line that I just knew would end in HHH should burn. Yep I’m right. I think I watch too much wrestling. This brawling is ridiculous. Rock is about to be chokeslammed but HHH breaks it up, because of course you need two threats instead of just one right? They cover it by saying HHH needs Rock’s help to beat Big Show.

Based just on the way they’re building up Show, you could pretty much tell he would be taking the title tonight. We brawl a bit more because we haven’t hit our quota yet so we go to the announce tables for awhile. Show takes a bell to the head, leading to both other guys managing to suplex him through the Spanish Announce Table. Oh how I love running jokes. Dang it Rock and HHH are fighting in the crowd now.

I really hate this style. It’s not even a style. It’s just wild fighting with no rhyme or reason to it, but it sold tickets and drove up ratings I guess, so there we are. Since there hasn’t been enough stupid stuff in this match, we lose a referee. Rock hits the Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Shane apparently just happened to have a referee’s shirt laying around so he sprints to the ring and counts two.

Another Rock Bottom gets two as Show makes the save. Lawler calls him the Giant which really isn’t a copyright issue because he is indeed a giant. Show puts Rock on the table and just beats the holy crap out of him before going back into the ring. Instead of trying to you know, pin HHH he goes back to beating on Rock on the floor. HHH gets the belt because he just felt lonely without it I guess.

HHH pedigrees his future brother in law for no apparent reason other than he’s a heel. Here’s DX because we haven’t had enough of them tonight. This was another big criticism of the Attitude Era as everything ended in a big brawl, much like WCW and the NWO or TNA today. Vince is back though, and business isn’t about to pick up. JR you disappoint me. He pops HHH in the head with the belt and HhH is up before Vince is in a stupid looking moment.

The chokeslam gives us the shocking new champion and a good pop from the crowd. Rock and Show would start a feud soon enough, as this would be the original main event for Mania but Foley was added in for no apparent reason other than letting him main event a Mania. Show dedicates the win to his father which if his father had legitimately died recently would be awesome but it’s not so whatever.

Rating: C+. WAY too much brawling here. I get that they didn’t want to expose Show as a bit limited so they did what they could, but this was over half on the floor in a fifteen minute plus match. It was ok, but the massive amount of run ins and brawling hurt it for me. It’s ok, but it’s nothing special. The surprises at the beginning and the end help it a lot, so we’ll call it just above average.

Overall Rating: B. This was a pretty solid show, but there’s no great match on it anywhere. Jericho and Chyna is easily the best match here, but that’s not saying a lot. This is far more important for Austin of course, but that wouldn’t be touched on for nearly a year.

Show would hold the title for about a month and a half before losing it back to HHH on Raw and then turning heel to join up with Shane, leading to the McMahon in every corner main event at Wrestlemania. This is an ok show, but it’s just ok. I don’t think I’d recommend it, but I wouldn’t recommend to avoid it either, if that makes sense. It’s better than just being there, but not by much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 




Smackdown – June 2, 2005: We Need Something New, NOW

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: June 2, 2005
Location: Rexall Place, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in that weird period where the fallout from a pay per view is over and now we’re on the way to nothing because there isn’t another Smackdown pay per view for over a month. At the same time though, we’re less than a week away from the Draft so it’s time to get some new toys around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We look back at Kurt Angle winning a battle royal and granting himself a match against Sharmell tonight. Eddie Guerrero attacked Rey Mysterio before the match because Eddie is insane.

Opening sequence.

We open with Carlito’s Cabana (again) with Matt Morgan acting as security. Carlito isn’t happy about being in Canada because Edmonton is the least coolest (his words) city in North America. We look at Morgan putting Big Show through a table last week with an F5. Morgan stutters at the crowd before Carlito brings out his guest for the week: John Cena. With the Wayne Gretzky jersey on, Cena mocks both Carlito and Morgan, the latter of whom does not like being called a palm tree.

Cena mocks the stuttering a lot before saying that since this might be their last night together on Smackdown, he needs to get to the point: Carlito isn’t cool. He’s a cabana boy with bad hair and hangs out with Michael Cole wannabes. We hear a bunch of similarities between Cole and Morgan (Hair, bear, affinity for oiling themselves up and wearing spandex) until Carlito says he can’t wait for someone to come over from Raw and embarrass Cena. That sounds cool with Cena, who says anyone who wants some can come get some. As for coming and getting some, tonight it’s Carlito/Morgan vs. Cena/Big Show.

Theodore Long is on the phone (which looked like the same Motorola I had around this time) when Booker T. and Sharmell come in. Booker wants Sharmell out of the match because she’s no wrestler, but Long says it’s all in the rules. However, Long does have an idea: Booker can be added to the match to make it a handicap match. That’s cool with Booker, so Long tells him to go handle his business.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a fifteen minute Iron Man match, because this needed a trilogy match with a gimmick. Haas trips Nitro to the mat to start so Nitro bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and a crossbody gets two on Nitro, who is chased into the corner for the tag off to Mercury. Holly pulls him in and hits a Russian legsweep for two, followed by the hanging kick to the ribs.

The Alabama Slam is loaded up but the referee is off yelling at Haas, allowing Nitro to hit a superkick for the pin and the first fall. Holly stays in and grabs an armbar on Nitro, which doesn’t exactly last long. Therefore Holly puts it right back on as the stalling continues and we take another break. Back again with less than six and a half minutes to go after MNM got a second fall during the break when Haas was posted and pinned.

Haas grabs a quick Oklahoma roll to get a fall back so the champs start slowing the pace down again. The fans want Holly with five minutes left as the announcers make basketball analogies about the clock. Holly finally comes in for a save and tries to drag Haas to the corner in a move that isn’t done enough. A running hip shot knocks Haas to the floor so Holly throws him back inside.

Back in and Haas finally gets in a clothesline for a breather and an enziguri allows the hot tag with less than two minutes to go. Holly cleans house and gets two off a full nelson slam, followed by the dropkick for two. There’s a minute left and the Snapshot is broken up so Holly can hit the Alabama Slam. Melina dives in and covers Nitro though, presumably making her the Tag Team Champions as time expires.

Rating: C. Uh yeah fine, now can we PLEASE find some new challengers? The matches have been fine enough but Holly and Haas have lost three times now and weren’t interesting challengers in the first place. The fans are getting into Holly and they’re nothing close to a disaster or even bad, but we need something fresh.

Long video on Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio, going from their teaming together to their split, with Chavo Guerrero playing a great devil on Eddie’s shoulder.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his match with Booker and Sharmell but first, he needs to talk about Tazz not doing commentary during last week’s Kurt Angle Invitational. That comes off as disrespectful, so Angle has a clip of his own. That would be from his one night in ECW, where Tazz said Angle was a great amateur but he’s a great professional.

Back in the arena, Angle knows that it was Paul Heyman making Tazz say it. Tazz isn’t a wrestler like the people in ECW, though they weren’t wrestlers either. The WWE made him a star, so Angle wants Tazz to come with him to One Night Stand and kill ECW once and for all. Tazz takes his sunglasses off but doesn’t say anything.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Kurt Angle

Thankfully Booker acts sane here and makes Sharmell stay down on the floor but the referee says everyone has to be in the ring at the same time. Angle knocks Booker outside so Sharmell runs (because she’s smart), allowing Booker to get back up and Catch Angle on the floor. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor again though and it’s time for more stalking. Like any distressed woman in wrestling, Sharmell trips over the steps and Angle throws her inside for a powerbomb, complete with hip swivel.

There’s a bit too much swiveling though and Booker hammers away. The Book End looks to set up the Houston Hangover but Angle crotches him. There’s a superplex but Angle can’t get up, so Sharmell covers him for two. We take a break (In this match???) and come back with Angle holding a Fujiwara armbar as Booker seems almost out. Booker fights back with chops but gets caught in the rolling German suplexes.

Angle takes Sharmell down into something close to a choke but seems to be whispering in her ear instead. Booker makes the save and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. That’s enough for Angle to back Sharmell into the corner and take down the straps so she bites and slaps away. The low blow is countered into the ankle lock but Booker kicks him in the face.

Booker hits the spinning kick but misses the ax kick, allowing Angle to drive Booker into Sharmell and the referee at the same time. A superkick puts Angle on the floor but he’s back in with some chair shots to Booker and now Sharmell is all alone. Angle stacks her up in a rollup (you can imagine the positioning) for the pin.

Rating: F. The wrestling wasn’t even very good because Booker was going wild out there (makes perfect sense) but is there ANY reason why Booker and Sharmell tried to have the match? Long didn’t threaten them if they didn’t go through with it, so why not have Sharmell run away and just take the countout or DQ while Booker stays in the ring and beats Angle up? This made no sense and I spent the whole match wondering why they weren’t just doing the obvious thing. Oh and given how completely absurd this whole thing is, it’s about as much of a failure as you can get.

Post match Angle climbs on top of her so Booker makes the save to send a smiling Angle off.

Video of John Cena’s media tour for his album.

Heidenreich vs. Devon Nicholson

Nicholson is a tiny bit famous as Hannibal. Heidenreich goes to find a friend before the match and she looks just like Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap. He reads her a poem about having an unsure future in the Draft before pummeling Nicholson like the jobber that he is. The Boss Man Slam gives Heidenreich the pin as I try to get Do You Believe In Magic out of my head.

The women are backstage, as they tend to be, when Mark Jindrak comes up. He hopes there are some new women around here in the Draft. Jindrak: “Some ones that put out.” He is shouted off in a hurry.

Nunzio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Hold on though as JBL needs to rant about how bad ECW was. He blames all of the violence in wrestling on ECW and is appalled at the idea of Paul Heyman being a genius. Heyman claims to have brought in a bunch of legends but in case you haven’t heard, he is a liar. JBL rants about the ECW wrestlers we got, including Sandman and Lance Storm (those two are not often listed together), before saying ECW will not invade New York. He will be one of the crusaders at One Night Stand and lead the forces against ECW.

Speaking of ECW, let’s make this an ECW Rules match. JBL boots him to the floor so Nunzio slips underneath the ring and comes out the other side with a kendo stick. Some kendo stick shots connect but the Cabinet comes in so the Clothesline From JBL can connect. The big kendo stick shot finishes Nunzio quick in a match that was secondary to the promo (which is fine here).

Booker and Sharmell come in to rant at Long, demanding a match with Angle. If Long won’t make it, Booker will do it in the streets. Long can’t guarantee anything, but if they’re both here after the Draft, it’s on.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show/John Cena vs. Carlito/Matt Morgan

Show’s shoulder and ribs are heavily taped up but Cena lets him start with….well hang on as Morgan and Carlito aren’t sure who is starting. Carlito drops to the floor so Cena throws him in and the chops are on. Morgan gets shoved off the apron and Carlito is tossed onto him for the big crash.

Back from a break with Show knocking Morgan into the corner and hitting some loud chops before bringing Cena in. A slam puts Morgan down but he’s fine enough to bring Cena into the corner so the villains can take over for the first time. Morgan misses an elbow though and it’s back to Show for the house cleaning. There’s a side slam to Morgan but it messes up the ribs all over again. Ever the well trained rookie, Morgan is smart enough to kick at the ribs and drives a knee into them for a bonus.

Carlito even makes himself useful with a left hand to the ribs. He even comes in to stay on the ribs but Show sends him into Morgan, which counts as a tag. The required bearhug goes on until Show fights out and chops away at everyone. Morgan breaks up the chokeslam but it’s off to Cena to pick up the pace. Show Cactus Clotheslines Morgan to the floor and Cena hits the Shuffle into the (sitout) FU for the pin on Carlito.

Rating: C-. Cena has rocketed from the top of the card into the superstar status so fast that it’s almost hard to believe. He was a big deal when he won the title but now he feels like the real star that WWE has wanted him to be. That presents a problem though as there is no one who can fight against him, at least not on Smackdown at the moment. Carlito isn’t someone who is believable against this Cena and that was very obvious the whole time here. To be fair though, that wasn’t exactly what they were going for and that helped a lot.

Cena checks on the injured Show to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah, other than Rey vs. Eddie, it is more than time for some fresh blood around here and that is painfully obvious. Angle vs. Booker is just disturbing and Cena needs a challenger, though at least the ECW stuff is helping things along a bit. The show wasn’t the worst, but it’s running out of gas and that is the kind of thing that can create some rough watches. Not a bad show, but that Angle vs. Booker stuff needs to be forgotten in a hurry.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – May 26, 2005: The Line Has Been Drawn

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 26, 2005
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and that means it’s going to be a good while before Smackdown has its own pay per view again. ECW One Night Stand is going to be its own thing and then Raw has Vengeance. Then again the Draft starts next month and that is going to shake things up anyway so it might be a long time before we know what we are going to have in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are Judgment Day’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the rather violent I Quit match with John Cena making JBL quit and then beating him up anyway. Quite the heroic action, but that much blood and that kind of a star making performance make up for it.

Opening sequence.

We’ll start things off with Carlito’s Cabana (becoming more common) and Matt Morgan is out with Carlito. The guest this week is someone who earned a lot of respect from the locker room at Judgment Day: Carlito himself. Carlito praises himself but also thanks Morgan, and we see a clip of Morgan laying Big Show out. Cue Theodore Long, with Carlito designating him as NOT cool. Long makes fun of Morgan’s stutter while threatening to suspend him if he goes too far.

With that out of the way, Long explains the Draft, which will see a random wrestler move from Raw to Smackdown and vice versa. Therefore, next week might be everyone’s last on the show so Long has an idea. Tonight it’s a winner’s choice battle royal with the winner getting any match they choose. That’s cool with Carlito, who wants to win and get a WWE Title match against John Cena. Long likes the enthusiasm so Carlito can have another match tonight….against the Big Show. Carlito hugs Morgan out of fear.

Rey Mysterio is getting ready when he talks about making Eddie Guerrero pay tonight. When he wins the battle royal, he’s coming after Eddie again.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Holly and Mercury start things off but Nitro gets in a cheap shot at the bell. That’s fine with Holly, who drops Mercury with a belly to back suplex for two. Mercury chops him into the corner, which is just fine with Holly. Now it’s Nitro being brought in for more chops from Holly and the hanging kick to the low abdomen keeps Mercury in trouble.

Haas comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Mercury drives him into the corner without much effort. That means it’s off to Nitro, who gets dropkicked out of the air to put him down as well. We take a very sudden break and come back with Nitro coming in off a blind tag and getting in a cheap shot. The chinlock goes on, followed by a double gutbuster to really put Haas down. Haas grabs an armdrag and dives for the corner but Nitro powers him straight back into the corner to cut the crowd off again.

Holly chases Mercury around the ring instead of being on the apron for a tag, allowing Melina to rake Haas’ eyes. Not that it matters as Haas gets over for the tag a few seconds later and Holly starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped, meaning there’s no count off the Alabama Slam. Nitro hits Holly with a chair and the referee sees that for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Haas and Holly have managed to do a little bit better than just being the lame team of combined jobbers, but at the same time there was no reason to believe that they were going to win the titles here. MNM continues to be a great team who needs some better opponents, which has been the case for a long list of teams over the last….well several years long stretches in company history.

Post match Haas chases everyone off with the chair.

We look at Booker T. and Sharmell beating up Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Booker says he’s never been prouder of Sharmell and he’ll never forget to take out the trash.

Here’s John Cena for a chat and the fans are rather happy to see him. Cena gives a more reserved than usual thank you and talks about how the chain represents never giving up. There had been a lot of talk about him being a one hit wonder and a bad champion. Then JBL said two words to change all of that on Sunday. Cena never said those words and therefore, THE CHAMP IS HERE.

JBL was right that Cena would suffer and bleed like never before and he was right. But when JBL said that he would take Cena’s soul, he was completely wrong. JBL QUIT and he must feel humiliated because of everything. Cena: “He’s got to feel like some pathetic shell of a man. And you are!”

Cue JBL, who looks a bit like Vince as he gets out of the limo. JBL slowly gets in the ring and says he doesn’t make excuses. That’s why he’s rich and the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last decade. JBL gave Cena a beating but he would never quit. He’s beaten everyone but he isn’t sure if he can beat Cena. It’s true that Cena is the man, but it’s just for now.

Someone like Cena will implode like Kurt Cobain or Mike Tyson. Then JBL will be there to become champion again. Cena says the people will decide your legacy and if he goes down, it’s in a blaze of glory. He’s a soldier who doesn’t care about his legacy, but JBL does. That’s why Cena has something for him (Cena: “You’re an idiot but you’ve done a lot of great things.”): a tribute video of JBL’s career. It had some classic matches and moments so JBL would love to see it.

We see the tribute video….which quickly turns into JBL saying I QUIT over and over. Cena dubs him the most celebrated quitter in WWE history and JBL leaves in disgust. This was a nice moment for Cena at first before it broke down into the usual banter between the two, though JBL had it coming to him after being a jerk, even in congratulating Cena on his win.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Show starts with the chops but stops to yell at Morgan. With Carlito still down, Show steps on his chest but Morgan grabs Show’s boot, earning himself an ejection. Carlito tries to leave as well, only to get pulled over the top and back inside in a big crash. Show: “YOU LOST YOUR STUTTERING FRIEND!” A huge chop takes Carlito down again and Show shoves him away with ease. Carlito gets up fast though and hits a middle rope dropkick to the leg. Not that it matters as the chokeslam gives Show the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to set up the post match angle and continue to remind us that Morgan exists. That being said, you’re not going to get anywhere with Morgan as a monster with the stuttering deal, but I’m sure WWE doesn’t understand the problem. What we got barely existed, but I can always go for seeing Carlito get destroyed.

Post match Morgan comes out and kicks Show in the head, setting up an F5 (in slow motion but an F5) through the announcers’ table.

We look back at the pretty awesome ECW funeral from Raw with Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman hyping up One Night Stand. You can feel Heyman’s emotion coming through as his baby is getting one more chance.

Kurt Angle comes out for the Kurt Angle Invitational but first he needs to talk about how dark of a time it is for him. He got beaten up by Booker T. and then got humiliated by Booker’s gutter s*** wife. Then he had to hear about ECW, which isn’t his kind of wrestling. He even went to an ECW show and it made him so sick that he left halfway through. That’s why he is coming to One Night Stand with a bunch of tickets for some Smackdown wrestlers. Angle yells at Tazz, promising to bounce the ECW wrestlers like Heyman bounced checks. Tazz takes off his headset and sunglasses but never gets up. On with the destruction.

Kurt Angle vs. Robert

We never hear his last name but it’s Robert Fury of OVW non-fame. Angle runs him over as usual and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock. Tazz kept his headset off and glared at Angle throughout the match.

Post match, Angle says on with the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Heidenreich, Carlito, Matt Morgan, Booker T., Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Akio, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Johnny Nitro, Mark Jindrak, Joey Mercury

Hold on though as Eddie chairs Rey from behind during his entrance. The beatdown ensues with referees running out for the late save. So there is no Rey, Morgan starts on the floor and Eddie (who has cut his nose somehow) drops to the floor as well. London is out first, because that’s what a champion means around here. Angle tosses Funaki and Kidman clotheslines Mercury out.

Akio is eliminated by Booker as Morgan blocks Carlito from being thrown out. There goes Jindrak and we take a break. Back with Nitro having been eliminated and Holly dumping Kidman. Angle gets rid of Heidenreich (which Cole calls a disqualification) as the ring is starting to thin out a bit. There goes Chavo at Scotty’s hands and Haas is out as well, with a nasty landing where his foot hits the apron on the way down.

Morgan pulls out Nunzio and Funaki but the distraction lets Booker eliminate Carlito. Eddie comes back in and tosses Scotty. We’re down to the Bashams, Jordan, Eddie, Angle, Holly and Booker but Eddie gets rid of Holly. Cue Rey to fight Eddie and take him out with a headscissors. Rey, who went over the top to the apron, goes back in and comes back out through the middle ropes (smart man) to dive onto Eddie. Referees have to break it up again as Eddie looks shell shocked.

We take another break and come back with Rey, the Bashams, Jordan, Angle and Booker (I guess Morgan was either never an entrant or just walked out without being eliminated). Some double teaming has Booker on the apron but he fights back in and clotheslines his way to freedom.

Spinebusters abound as Booker beats up the Cabinet by himself and gets rid of all three of them. Angle tosses Booker though and we’re down to Angle vs. Mysterio. Rey hammers on Angle in the corner but Angle powers him down with a throw. There’s a suplex to make it even worse but Rey gets in a dropkick and sends him to the apron. The 619 misses and Angle picks the ankle but Rey rolls out of the ankle lock.

They head to the apron and Angle has to hold on by the bottom rope. Some right hands can’t get rid of Angle, who climbs back over the top until Rey dropkicks him down again. This time Angle gets back in and snaps off a belly to belly but Rey is right back with the 619. Rey loads up a springboard but lands on a low blow, setting up an Angle Slam for the elimination to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. The stuff after Eddie got in made it a lot better, but the first part with the losers in there didn’t do it any favors. That being said, the second half and the ending were enough to make up for the boring first half and it wound up working out pretty well. It was a good way to showcase the upper midcard talent, which is where Smackdown shines. I’m not wild on the Booker vs. Angle story but it’s a fresh feud between two talented guys. Eddie vs. Rey continues to be good too and now we have a reason for another match. It’s one of the better battle royals in awhile so I’ll take what I can get.

Overall Rating: C. This show did a great job of showing the difference between the good and the bad around here. The best done stuff on the show is going quite well, with Cena looking like a star, Eddie vs. Rey being some incredible stuff and Angle vs. Booker being fine if you can leave out one key element.

Then there’s the rest of the show, with names like Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas getting a second title shot, the Cruiserweight Champion being eliminated like any given jobber, the United States Champion being nothing more than a lackey, and someone who should be a can’t miss prospect being reduced to a stuttering joke. That is a very firm line being drawn up and down this show and it’s showing badly. The good stuff is rather good but the weaker stuff is….well it isn’t terrible, but it’s not interesting and that’s worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – May 12, 2005: Story Time

Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2005
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re on our way to Judgment Day and that means we should be in for Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Most of the time you have to worry about how the big match is going to go but how bad can a Mysterio vs. Guerrero match go? Other than that, we continue the build to John Cena vs. JBL II. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey vs. Eddie, with the latter attacking Rey again last week. Chavo Guerrero seems to be causing all of this, which adds another layer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, on foot and debuting Can You Feel The Heat as his new theme music. He grabs a chair and has a seat, plus a spotlight for a bonus. Everyone has been asking why he took Rey out last week and it’s simple: he was giving Rey what he wanted. He pulls out Rey’s mask and shouts DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY??? It’s Rey’s fault and what else could he have expected Eddie to do?

Rey drove him to this, plus all of these people. The fans have been living off of his Latino Heat but he got it all back last week. Eddie likes feeling like this and grabs the camera, demanding that it listen to him. He tells Rey to think about his son and daughter, because Eddie is about to hurt their papa. Rey has been talking about returning at Judgment Day, but Eddie advises against it. Right now, Eddie has his blood on his hands and if Rey comes back, Eddie will have his life.

This was GREAT and one of the best things WWE has done in a long time. It’s an excellent example of things only making sense to the heel, who is the only one that needs to understand what is going on. Eddie sees things differently and has been driven to everything he’s done by his jealousy. Yeah it was an extreme response, but it was everyone else’s fault because he hadn’t done anything wrong. Eddie sold the heck out of it too and looked crazed and angry, which is a rather dangerous combination. Excellent stuff here.

Heidenreich vs. Spike Dudley

This however is not likely to be excellent. Before the match, Heidenreich talks about asking Spike to be his friend but Spike said no. Heidenreich knows he can find a friend here and picks a kid out of the crowd. The kid, Jordan, would like to hear one of Heidenreich’s Disasterpieces, which is about looking for friends before he fights. Jordan gets to be in Heidenreich’s corner as Spike beats Heidenreich up in another corner.

Spike even comes outside to yell at Jordan so Heidenreich makes the save and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich still isn’t any good but if you have him as something goofy like this, he’s a lot less annoying. This is the last Spike match we’ll be seeing and he would be pretty much out of the mainstream wrestling scene in about two years. For someone his size, he had quite a nice career and that’s pretty impressive.

Sharmell comes in to see Booker, who gives her a kiss and a spank. They wind up on a couch and laughter ensues.

Chavo talks to MNM about Eddie being so vicious lately. There’s a six man tag later and Paul London is looking for partners. Chavo approves of this new partnership.

We look back at Kurt Angle chasing Sharmell last week and nearly putting her in the ankle lock.

Angle says that Sharmell started it by slapping him first. He wouldn’t have done anything to her because he doesn’t hurt women. No, Angle makes them feel very good. Everyone has vices and his happens to be “gutter sl***s like Booker T.’s wife.” Angle knows he probably has some psychological disorder but he needs to say something.

Angle: “Booker, I want to have sex with your wife. And I’m not just talking any kind of sex with your wife. I’m talking, you know, that kind of bestiality sex with your wife. That kind of perverted sex.” The fans rightfully boo this out of the building because WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? I mean I know it’s Vince (or maybe Angle) but what could have been a good feud just went flying off a cliff and bounced all the way down.

MNM/Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London/Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

London works on Nitro’s arm to start and it’s quickly off to Charlie to stay on said arm. A shoulder breaker and a middle rope knee to the shoulder keeps Nitro down as everything breaks down for a bit. Mercury gets in a cheap shot to take over on Haas and Chavo comes in for a belly to back suplex. Haas fights up without too much trouble and dives over for the hot tag off to Holly. London comes in with a double high crossbody and a hurricanrana to Chavo as everything breaks down again. Chavo can’t get the Gory Bomb on London but he can get a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and that’s all you could expect in something like this. The Cruiserweight Title is rather worthless but that has to be expected. Chavo is a good choice for a heel but he has been around the thing for a long time now and we need something fresh. It isn’t a good combination for a not great match and a boring story and that’s what we had here.

John Cena had an autograph signing for his CD.

Here is JBL for a chat. He plugs the re-release of his financial book, which is receiving the best reviews since the Bible. You can find it in bookstores and online, but you won’t see it with a parental advisory, which Cena’s CD has. Cena is a bad example and role model, along with being a bad champion. JBL talks about everything he’s been through in the last years but he has never quit. Those words never came across his mind and at Judgment Day, he is busting Cena open and making him quit.

JBL will find out that Cena is who he says he is and that is a wrestling god. Throughout the world, the fans will be chanting his name….and here’s Cena to interrupt. The fight is on but the Cabinet comes in to take Cena apart. Of all people, Funaki, Nunzio and Shannon Moore come out for the save. With that being his best hope, Cena fights up himself as the locker room comes out to keep them apart. The fight breaks out again and gets broken up just as fast as Cena is rather pleased with the whole thing.

Post break, here’s everything you just saw.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Another one of those future names who means nothing at the moment. Eddie kicks away and elbows him in the face to start but stops to yell at Mysterio’s mask on the post. He even puts the mask on Jacobs and hammers away before tossing him outside as the dominance continues. Back in and Eddie grabs a chair, thinks about it with a crazed look on his face, and hits Jacobs with a brainbuster onto the chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the wrestling but rather just showing how crazy Eddie has gone over the last few weeks. The hyper intense Eddie is a very fresh twist for him and it’s making things more interesting. It helps when you have someone who can perform at this kind of a level. Not a good match, but very good character stuff.

Post match Eddie yells at the mask, saying Rey better not show up.

Judgment Day rundown.

Cole and Tazz talk about Cena’s music video.

And now, Cena’s music video.

Matt Morgan vs. Funaki

Before the match, Morgan talks about how people make fun of the way Funaki talks while stuttering heavily. SEE, IT’S FUNNY! A big boot knocks Funaki silly and another shot to the head knocks him out. The suplex into the Rock Bottom finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Raw Rebound.

Booker tells Sharmell to stay in the back tonight. That does not bode well.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and his guest this week is the Big Show. Carlito gets straight to the point: he wants Show to be his bodyguard. Show: “You want me to play second banana to you?” Carlito: “No…..we don’t do bananas here…..we do apples.” Carlito shows us some stills of Big Show in the sumo match at Wrestlemania, which was embarrassing. They could be unstoppable together, but Show says he needs Carlito as much as he needs a bigger shoe size.

Carlito grabs the apple but Show grabs him by the throat and eats the apple. Before the chokeslam goes through, Show hunches over and grabs his stomach. He can’t get up and Carlito says that it can only take one bad apple to spoil the bunch and Show just ate that apple. Carlito pours the apples over him and leaves Show laying. That’s some very lucky foresight from Carlito, though I don’t know how much we can expect from the match.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

No Sharmell and Booker is rightfully ticked. Booker wastes no time in hammering Angle down and stomping away in the corner. Angle’s right hands don’t work very well so Booker heads outside for a chair. When the referee cuts that off, Booker gets sent into the steps and it’s time for some American stomping back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Booker is right back with the side kick and right hands to the head. Angle manages to pull the trunks to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s the Angle Slam. With Booker down, Angle runs off to the back. Booker follows and the match is a double countout somewhere in there.

Rating: C-. Much like the Eddie match, the wrestling wasn’t the point here as the match was just a means to an end. The Angle/Sharmell stuff is much more creepy than anything else and while I can get the idea behind it, there comes a point where it isn’t a good story anymore as much as it is disturbing. That promo earlier took it to the latter and that’s not a good thing.

In the back, Angle goes into Sharmell’s locker room and shuts the door as screaming is heard. Booker runs in and gets jumped by Angle as Sharmell keeps screaming. Angle: “Come on Booker. You want some? Cause I want your wife!”Angle rams him head first into a locker and leaves as Sharmell screams even more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the angles were a lot more important than the show and that’s not a bad thing. Most of the stories were good enough with Eddie being outstanding, JBL vs. Cena being quite good and Angle vs. Booker….well Eddie was great. The wrestling didn’t play a big part here but we can do that once we get to the pay per view. Not a good shot, but check out that Eddie stuff as it’s getting to be a major treat.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 28, 2005: The Smart Way Around England

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2005
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still over in England and this time around we’ll be seeing a four way elimination match to determine the first challenger for John Cena’s Smackdown World Title. There is a good chance that match is going to be getting a lot of the TV time, though I’m hoping we get some time on Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to open things up with Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito goes over some British food stereotypes and wants to spit apple in the Queen’s face. See, England is NOT cool because they have not yet discovered cool. We get a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, who must not be cool.

That brings him to his guest: Kurt Angle, who immediately agrees with Carlito’s take on England. There really is nothing cool around here, like making Shawn Michaels tap at Wrestlemania or beating Eddie Guerrero a few weeks ago. That’s cool, but what is REALLY cool is winning the four way tonight and going on to become a five time WWE Champion. This brings out a rather muscular British wrestler to interrupt and Angle isn’t happy.

The guy introduces himself as Steve Lewington, who wants to take part in the Kurt Angle Invitational. That isn’t happening, but Angle throws in a bad British accent to say no in a better way. Angle sends him away and jumps him from behind, which is the American way. He promises to become #1 contender tonight….and Lewington jumps him from behind. A low blow cuts Lewington off though and the Angle Slam/ankle lock make it even worse. Carlito adds an apple spit. This felt like filler, which can be a problem on the British shows.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London

London is defending and Torrie Wilson is guest ring announcer for obvious reasons. London’s head was stapled together a few weeks ago so Chavo sends him face first into the buckle in a smart move. A few more shots to the head don’t do much good so London hits a rolling kick to the face, followed by a dropsault for two. London goes up top but gets shoved off, sending him ribs first into the turnbuckle and out to the floor. That’s quite the crash and it’s enough for the countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it should set up a rematch for the title down the line. Chavo has a reasonable complaint about losing the title in a battle royal so giving him a few matches against London is a good idea. What might not be a good idea is having your champion lose like this when he isn’t the most established star in the first place.

Post match Chavo celebrates with the title but Torrie says she has been informed that a championship cannot change hands on a countout. Is there reason to believe that she knew that before he told him? Chavo lets out some frustrations with a Gory Bomb.

We recap the issues between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, which included them losing the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Daily Star Girls are here….and that’s it.

Sharmell is firing Booker T. up when Heidenreich shows up. Booker gets in his face….but Heidenreich just wants to read a poem about the four way. Sharmell can dig the poem, which has Booker winning. Heidenreich is happy because he made two friends tonight. They really still see potential in this poetry gimmick?

Eddie comes in to see Rey to try and bury the hatchet. As Eddie talks about being a bad partner lately, Chavo comes in to say he’s going to win the Cruiserweight Title soon. If the two of them play their cards right, they could be champions again. Eddie doesn’t like this line of thinking and says everyone is just like Chavo: jealous of the relationship Eddie and Rey have. He and Rey are family, but Chavo doesn’t buy that because Rey is no Guerrero.

Eddie says Rey has been more of a brother than his own blood and is there for him every time. Eddie asks if Rey is his family and Rey cuts off Chavo for interfering. Chavo isn’t part of this and needs to leave. Chavo leaves and Rey agrees that they are great friends and partners. Yeah Eddie may not be all there mentally sometimes but that’s the case with everyone. His heart is in it though and that’s what counts now and forever. It’s time to go win some titles. Awesome stuff here, as has been the case with almost everything Eddie and Rey have been doing.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Rey are challenging. It’s Nitro in trouble early as both Eddie and Rey get in a few shots to the face. Nitro sends Eddie to the apron, allowing Mercury to pull him down to the floor and then post him for a bonus. As the fans whistle at Melina, the champs start keeping Guerrero down in the corner like a good team should. Eddie gets up without much trouble and drives over for the tag to Rey, who springboards in as only he can. He also accidentally runs into Eddie as only he can, though a springboard moonsault is still good enough for two on Mercury.

A hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 on Mercury as Eddie is walking out. One heck of a powerbomb plants Mysterio as Eddie is watching on the Titantron. Eddie eventually comes back and gets on the apron as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble, including Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop connecting for two.

We hit the waistlock as Eddie is looking annoyed on the apron. Nitro switches to a reverse chinlock until Rey kicks him off, only to have Eddie look like he’s sitting through a seminar on proper handwashing technique. Eddie won’t reach his hand out when Rey gets over so Mercury pulls him away and drops an elbow to the back. The assisted elevated DDT plants Rey to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This worked very well from a storytelling perspective though not so much from a wrestling perspective. That wasn’t the point here though and the big angle was quite good as an enhanced version of how Strike Force split back at Wrestlemania V. It was very well done and it’s likely to keep being awesome.

Post match MNM destroys Rey and posts him as Eddie just stands there watching from the apron. He slowly walks away as Rey screams for him to come back in one of the best moments they’ve done in a long time.

Post break we recap the whole thing, which isn’t as effective with Cole calling every step of it.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Before Cena comes out, Rene talks about being a REAL European athlete because he’s from France. Dupree starts fast and even gets in a spinebuster for some right hands. We hit the reverse chinlock again before a kick to the back sets up a second version. Cena finally realizes how boring this is and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was rather boring despite barely breaking three minutes. Cena vs. Dupree has been done so many times and it isn’t made better by the fact that Dupree has never felt like a threat to him. I had almost forgotten that Dupree was even a thing at this point and that might be better for everyone.

Matt Morgan vs. Mikey Whiplash

Whiplash would go on to become a name in British wrestling. Morgan gets to stutter about how he stutters. Who in the world looked at someone like Morgan and thought STUTTERING was the right way to go? Morgan blasts him in the face for what he thought was laughter and generally mauls him for a bit before finishing with the suplex into the hard Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry.

JBL, still with the classic title belt, says it doesn’t matter where we are, because the fans still want to chant his name. Big Show comes in to say JBL says the same thing every week. No matter what he says, JBL is on a losing streak (no he isn’t) and tonight it’s going to continue (no it isn’t).

We go behind the scenes of John Cena’s music video (for Bad Bad Man with all of it’s 80s greatness), complete with Christina Aguliera showing up and sounding rather uninterested. The video premieres next week.

Booker T. vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership and Orlando Jordan is here with JBL. Angle already has the straps down so you know this is serious. The brawl is on in a hurry to start with Show cleaning house, even knocking away a German suplex attempt. A legdrop crushes JBL and sends Booker flying off a toss. Show crushes all three of them in the corner but Angle pops out with an Angle Slam for one.

Booker adds the ax kick for two and the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. They knock Show outside for the huge Angle Slam through the table….and a countout for the elimination. In a four way? That’s a creative way to get rid of him, even if it goes against the general rules of the match. We take a break and come back with Booker fighting out of the corner but crotching himself off a missed sidekick.

A whip into the steps slows JBL down and Angle suplexes Booker for two. JBL comes back in and walks into a Book End for two but Angle is right back with the rolling German suplexes for the same on Booker. Neither the Angle Slam or the Book End can connect so Angle picks the ankle. That’s broken up as well so Angle hits the Slam for two more. Booker’s superkick gets his own near fall as Jordan slides in a chair. That earns him an ejection and the distraction lets Angle chair Booker in the head for the second elimination to get us down to one on one.

We take another break and come back with JBL slightly cut open and Angle fighting out of a chinlock. The ankle lock goes on but gets broken up just as quickly and there’s the fall away slam. The Clothesline hits the referee though, just as Angle gets the ankle lock. JBL calls out the Bashams for the save so it’s a bunch of suplexes all around. That includes some rolling German suplexes to JBL and the ankle lock gets the tap, which no one sees. Cue Booker to chair Angle down, allowing JBL to steal the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Booker vs. Angle made this work rather well, even when the ending was as obvious as you could have gotten. They have made no secret about the fact that this was JBL’s win the entire way and that’s fine. It makes the most sense and you can have the other three get title shots later on if they want to. Not a great match, but it got around the clear finish and that’s kind of hard to do.

JBL does You Can’t See Me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a story heavy show and that gave it a way around some of the lame wrestling. The shows over in England are often a bit off wrestling wise (probably due to the travel issues) so going with some big angle advancement was the right call. It’s a good show and now we can start the build towards whatever their next pay per view is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 21, 2005: The Bright Future And The Dark Present

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2005
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,258
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The search for a #1 contender continues with Booker T. vs. Big Show for the final spot in the #1 contenders triple threat match. The other, and likely more interesting, story is the issues between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio, who are still the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. For now at least. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

WWE Championship Series: Big Show vs. Booker T.

JBL, with the now former version of the WWE Title, is on commentary. Booker’s wife Sharmell is in the front row. Hold on though as here’s Kurt Angle, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Kurt stares at JBL and then joins commentary as well. Booker’s waistlock doesn’t get him anywhere as JBL goes on one of his great rants about how unfair this whole thing is. Angle mentions being a four time WWE Champion, with Cole bringing up the gold medal. Angle: “That too.” Some shots to the knees have Show down but he uses the good leg to kick away in the corner.

The standing legdrop gives Show two as Angle comes to the realization that he would face JBL one on one if no one wins here. Oh here we go. As JBL yells about Angle being bald, Show cuts off the comeback with a superkick. The big boot misses though and Show crotches himself on the ropes. The Book End gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. That’s enough for Angle and JBL to get up and beat them both down for the double DQ.

Rating: D+. This was all about the story instead of the match itself, a lot of which was missed for the sake of showing commentary. You can see the four way coming from here because heels never learn in WWE but at least the commentary was entertaining until we got to the finish. Show is already back to where he was before his comeback though and that’s a bit sad to see.

Post match Show and Booker clear the ring and here’s Theodore Long to say not so fast. As expected, next week will now be a four way #1 contenders match, because this company can’t even go through three matches without changing the format of a series it created. As for tonight, tag match playa, holla holla holla!

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with the fans behind Carlito in a bit of a surprise. We’re in New York City and that’s not cool. He has no problem with spitting part of the Big Apple in their faces because he doesn’t like it here. Earlier today, he was walking the streets and saw hundreds of kids with no chance of growing up to be cool. New Yorkers are known for losing their cool, which brings him to his guest tonight, who is the opposite of cool: Eddie Guerrero.

The fans are VERY behind Eddie here as Carlito brings up Eddie’s absence last week when MNM laid Rey Mysterio out. We see a clip, but Eddie threatens to do some violent things to Carlito if he says cool again. Eddie would like Rey to come out here right now for a chat so here he is. A lot has changed in the last year with Eddie going from holding up the WWE Championship in this building a year ago and now….this. Eddie has become clouded and selfish and it cost Rey a shot at the WWE Championship.

Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t have, Eddie is focusing on what he does have: his health, and his family, like Rey. They shake hands but here are MNM on the screen. Melina wastes no time in issuing the challenge but Eddie wants them to say it face to face. They say they’re happier back here, and step aside to reveal Eddie’s low rider. Spray painting ensues and Eddie rants in Spanish.

During the break, Eddie and Rey went to the car and the title match is on for tonight.

The returning Matt Morgan, now with a stutter, says he isn’t nervous because he commands attention. And that would be it for Morgan’s chances at going anywhere in WWE.

Orlando Jordan tells the Bashams, who are about three feet from him, to get over here right now. He wants them to help him beat up John Cena tonight to soften him up for JBL. Jordan leaves and Danny says he’s getting sick of this.

Matt Morgan vs. Brett Matthews

Morgan thinks Matthews is laughing at him so the destruction is on in a hurry, including a big boot. A side slam sets up a suplex into a Rock Bottom (later named the Hellevator/Nightmare Pendulum) gives Morgan the pin in a hurry. Matthews would later change his name to something that stuck a little better: Zack Ryder.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kurt Angle vs. Booker T./Big Show

Booker and JBL stare at each other to start but Show comes in before anything happens. That means the big overhand chop and a headbutt as Show does his usual slow paced offense which looks effective enough. With JBL knocked down and out to the floor, it’s off to Angle, whose headlock is carried into the corner. Booker comes in for a headlock and cleans house without much effort. The side kick takes too long though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes.

Angle low bridges him to the floor and it’s Booker in trouble for a change. A whip into the corner sets up a waistlock with a grapevine to keep Booker down and Angle gets some near falls. JBL holds Booker down for some Angle stomping and a belly to belly makes it even worse. The rib work continues with a bodyscissors but Booker gets up and grabs a DDT. The hot tag brings in Show to clean house and run everyone over but the Angle Slam cuts him off. Show is back up and grabs a chokeslam on JBL as Angle walks out on the match. The ax kick and the chokeslam finish JBL.

Rating: D+. Totally standard main event tag match here with Angle showing some intelligence because this means nothing in the long term. They aren’t hiding the obvious ending to next week’s match and that’s acceptable enough here, though JBL vs. Cena again isn’t the most thrilling prospect in the world.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat. He’s been here for a few days now and has even made a few friends. He would like to bring out one of those friends right now, so here is the Brooklyn Brawler (who has theme music). Heidenreich reads a poem about him, which basically says the Brawler is here. The Brawler isn’t impressed and says that was embarrassing.

The only more embarrassing thing was when the Yankees choked against the Red Sox last year in the playoffs. That was so embarrassing that Brawler takes off his shirt to reveal a Red Sox shirt. Now, he is the BOSTON BRAWLER, earning himself a beating from Heidenreich. I remember the Brawler doing this and it very well might be more memorable than anything Heidenreich did in his career.

We look back at MNM ruining the low rider.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging and we get the very cool paparazzi entrance (another one which was incredible in OVW, especially with Superstar as their theme song). The brawl is on before the bell with Eddie backdropping Nitro to get things going. Mercury is sent outside as well, with Cole declaring it a tag team clinic about thirty seconds in. Back from a break with Rey dropkicking Nitro down and Eddie nailing the slingshot hilo.

A Nitro distraction lets Mercury knock Eddie off the apron though and the champs are in trouble for the first time. Mercury grabs an abdominal stretch, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Rey. That’s fine with Nitro, who fireman’s carries him into a gutbuster from Mercury to take over again. Eddie comes back in anyway as everything breaks down. Rey loads up the 619 but Melina distracts Eddie, allowing MNM to hit their elevated DDT for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. I’ve always liked MNM and this is a good way to start them off in a hurry. It’s not a great match or anything but they advanced the Eddie vs. Rey story and made some new stars in the tag division at the same time. That’s a rather nice use of ten minutes and a much better debut than the Heart Throbs had on Raw.

Post match Eddie shoves Rey down and goes to leave but Rey shoves him down on the floor and leaves by himself.

Raw Rebound. I wouldn’t remind people of that show.

MNM has a photo shoot by their limo and Melina is very pleased.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena, in a Babe Ruth Yankees jersey, says he’s hearing the sounds of New York and lists off some boroughs to make the crowd happy. Cena talks about how New York is built on tradition and that makes it special. New York knows how to adapt and overcome, which he will do here. Dude it’s Orlando Jordan. You could win this match without taking the jersey off. Jordan only has one Basham here and that isn’t going to end well.

Jordan gets in an early shoulder but gets punched in the corner. Doug Basham offers a distraction so Jordan can hit a DDT, which is probably about it for his big time offense. Cena comes back but gets sent shoulder first into the post so Jordan can hammer away. The bearhug is broken up with a shot to the head and a suplex puts both of them down. Back up and some clotheslines have Jordan in trouble as Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Doug has to take an FU and as the referee gets rid of him, cue Danny to belt Cena in the head. Jordan’s top rope elbow gets two and, after dropping Danny, Cena finishes with the FU.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Jordan isn’t interesting and isn’t worth watching but he’s here almost every single week and we have to watch him have one bad match after another. There was no way that Cena was losing here and it was a matter of time until Cena beat him. They didn’t spend too much time on it, but any time spent watching Jordan feels like an eternity.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was not good here but the storytelling made up for a lot of it and that’s what matters more. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff is a very good story and I’m digging how they’ve made one logical step after another. That is the case with JBL vs. Cena as well, though that one isn’t as interesting. It wasn’t a great show here, but they’re setting things up and you can see where it’s going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 14, 2005: The In Your House Formula

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2005
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the process of finding a new #1 contender, which is likely to be JBL. Thankfully we get some big matches on the way there, including one tonight with Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. That is one of those matches that can’t be screwed up so we should be in for a good evening. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender series, with Eddie Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio his match against JBL.

Opening sequence.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title with JBL on commentary. Speaking of JBL, he offers an early distraction so Jordan can get in a cheap shot to take over. Jordan stops to pose like the schnook that he is and Booker kicks him in the face, only to have the Bashams run in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on but Big Show runs (faster than I’ve seen him move in years) in for the save. Theodore Long, handicap match.

Orlando Jordan/Basham Brothers vs. Big Show/Booker T.

Show pulls Danny over the ropes to start but Doug breaks up a chokeslam attempt to Jordan. Booker beats up the Bashams and Show spears Danny on the floor. The Spinarooni sets up the ax kick and Doug is done in a hurry.

Post match we’re told Big Show faces Booker next week in the #1 contender series, which makes sense given Show’s current nice guy status. As a bonus, JBL yells at the rest of the Cabinet.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Fallout from last week’s bikini contest. Dawn kicks her in the ribs to start and sends her face first into the mat. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence of all things until Dawn hits an X Factor for two. Torrie gets two off a rollup before finishing with the swinging neckbreaker.

Video on the Australia tour.

It’s time for the debut of Carlito’s Cabana, complete with a hammock and coconut drinks. And a basket of apples for the health conscious guest, though if you disrespect him, he will spit on you. Carlito mocks the Cubs as lovable losers, just like his first guest: Rey Mysterio. We look back at Eddie Guerrero costing Rey his match against JBL last week, ending his chances at becoming #1 contender.

Rey admits that he’s mad at Eddie and hasn’t talked to him in a week but they’re family. He’ll be WWE Champion one day though, which Carlito doesn’t buy. It’s clear that Eddie is jealous of him and things are about to get a lot worse. Cue the debuting MNM, with Carlito’s eyes bugging out over Melina’s entrance (fair enough). Carlito dubs them cool and Melina handles the introductions.

They could be Tag Team Champions since Latino Heat and Mucha Lucha aren’t getting along. That’s a challenge so Rey makes fun of Melina’s breath. The beatdown is on and it’s an elevated DDT to plant Rey as the EDDIE chants don’t get him any help. Carlito sits in his lounge chair and seems impressed with the whole thing. This was a heck of a debut as you instantly get the idea of the team with the paparazzi style entrance and their overall appeal. They were outstanding down in OVW and the whole idea works even better on the main roster. Very good stuff here.

Post match JBL yells at the Cabinet some more, blaming them for costing him the World Title. A deliveryman brings in a box, which is addressed to John Cena. JBL pays him off and gets the box instead.

Rey is on the trainer’s table when an irate Eddie comes in to say he’ll deal with MNM. Rey says just leave him alone because he wasn’t there when Rey needed him. Eddie claims car trouble but Rey isn’t convinced and yells about last week. Things calm down a bit with Eddie dedicating his match against Kurt Angle tonight to Rey.

Here’s John Cena, sans title belt, for a WWE Championship presentation. Cena talks about how Chicago does it big, because they’re hosting Wrestlemania XXII next year. That brings him to the title, which everyone is chasing. Cena has made a new title belt but since JBL stole it, he can bring it out here right now. Either that or Cena can come get it.

Cue JBL, who orders some goons to bring out a trashcan and a box. JBL takes off his jacket to reveal the current title, which still has Cena’s name on it. Cena: “Looks like you made a habit out of stealing my stuff.” JBL goes on a rant about Cena ruining tradition and promises to destroy what Cena has planned for tonight. Cena says hang on as JBL opens the box and reaches in to find….guts from a slaughterhouse.

JBL is disgusted so Cena goes up and pours the whole box onto his white shirt. As I try to get my head around how lucky it is that JBL just happened to be there to intercept the box from the delivery man, Cena gets back in the ring and has the new title lowered. And yes, it’s the spinner title as we enter the dark ages.

Heidenreich vs. ???

Tazz gets his history wrong by saying that we’ve never had a poet in WWE before, meaning Michael Cole has to serve as historian. What does it say when Cole is outsmarting you? The unnamed guy hammers away in the corner but gets kicked in the face as Heidenreich talks about wanting to be friends. A corner clothesline sets up more shouting and it’s a sitout Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich the pin.

Post match, with the jobber in the corner, Heidenreich reads a poem about….breaking wind because we’re in the Windy City. It is exactly what you would expect. That’s a Vince promo if I’ve ever heard one.

Booker and Sharmell are fired up for next week but Booker has to stop for a photo shoot. Kurt Angle comes up to say it doesn’t matter who wins next week because Angle is on a roll. Sharmell calms things down so Angle accuses Booker of needing a woman to fight his battles. Sharmell: “Oh no you didn’t.” She brings up Eddie beating Angle last year at Wrestlemania and does Booker’s catchphrase. Sharmell can actually talk outside of hailing King Booker.

Here’s Paul London with a bandage around his head after last week’s bloody match. We see part of last week’s beatdown at the hands of Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero before London talks about needing eighteen staples in his head. He can’t wrestle tonight so he’s here for a fight, meaning it’s time to call out Chavo.

Cue Chavo, who claims that London stole the Cruiserweight Title in the first place. London has never beaten him because he is the greatest of all time. Chavo is coming for the title as soon as London is cleared. An honorable man like Chavo would never fight an injured man, so here’s Kidman from behind to jump London. The champ fights him off and hits a DDT to set up the 450.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the #1 contender series. All one match of it.

WWE Championship Series: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking him down by the arm. Angle reverses into a wristlock, with Eddie reversing into one of his own. That’s not working for Angle, who stacks Eddie up for two and a standoff. Eddie gets smart by picking up the pace and dropkicks Angle to the floor as they are taking their time here. Back in and a headlock takeover works a bit better for Angle but Eddie reverses into another armbar.

Eddie switches things up with Three very fast Amigos but has to roll through the frog splash as we take a break. Back with Angle uppercutting away and hitting the first belly to belly to work on the ribs. The Angle Slam is countered into a hurricanrana as they’re getting into their standard story here of Angle being laser focused with his natural skills and Eddie being creative and adapting as the match goes on. It’s very Bret vs. Shawn and they’re talented enough to make it work.

The ref gets bumped so Eddie goes outside and puts a chair near the announcers’ table before dropping down on the mat. It’s not quite enough for the DQ so Angle snaps off a German suplex. A backbreaker gives Angle some near falls and we hit the bodyscissors. Eddie gets creative by elbowing the leg for the break, earning himself another hard German suplex. With nothing else working, Angle tries a super Angle Slam, which gets elbowed away. The frog splash hits knees though and we take another break.

Back with Angle grabbing the waistlock again before the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for the double knockdown. Angle is up first and the Slam gets two to put them both down again. It’s time to roll some German suplexes for two more but Eddie hits Three more Amigos. The frog splash gets two and a small package is good for the same as Angle has to pull his singlet back up. He’s made enough to pick the ankle but Eddie rolls it away for the ref bump.

Angle grabs the chair from earlier, which draws out Rey to take it away. Eddie sees Rey holding the chair and thinks he’s going to hit him, allowing Angle to ram Rey into Eddie, knocking him silly with the chair. The referee comes back in so Angle can pin Eddie and advance.

Rating: B+. Were you expecting anything less from Angle vs. Eddie for 25 minutes? Actually you might have been as these two can put on some masterpieces. This one was just very good with some storyline advancement tied into the rather awesome match. The storytelling was there and the wedge between Eddie and Rey is furthered. That’s one of the better TV matches you’ll see in a long time and it flew by, which is always a bonus.

Eddie yells at Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It takes a lot to knock a show with this kind of a main event down this far but the rest of the night was terrible. You had a bunch of nothing matches, Heidenreich’s juvenile promo and the debut of the spinner belt. What else was positive on here other than the main event and MNM’s debut? Sharmell yelling at Angle maybe? Excellent main event but egads the rest of the show is awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – April 7, 2005: The Other Kind Of Post Wrestlemania Show

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and that means things are going to be resetting just a bit. John Cena won the Smackdown World Title and that means things should feel a little more energized around here. I’m not sure what to expect, but hopefully it’s a better structured show than Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results it you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA, which should make it a bit more interesting.

Here’s JBL to get things going, because we’re doing the same thing Raw did. Cole says that JBL’s title reign lasted 244 days, which isn’t really close to the 280 that it actually was. That’s quite the error but we’ll move on to JBL ranting about how awesome he is/was while John Cena left the arena in handcuffs last week. Cena is not in his league and maybe JBL should just go back to his great life in New York City. He isn’t riding into the sunset though because he wants his rematch.

JBL quotes the Jack Nicholson court room speech from A Few Good Men but here’s Eddie Guerrero to cut him off. Eddie didn’t like hearing JBL say the people need him as champion because they only thing they need is for him to shut up. If JBL wants the title back, he’ll have to go through Eddie because he deserves it. Cue Booker T. to say they can go to the back of the line but it’s Big Show cutting them all off. The fans chant for Eddie as Big Show threatens to shove JBL’s hat somewhere.

Now it’s Rey Mysterio joining the fray and Eddie isn’t looking happy. JBL to Rey: “Try it in English.” Rey says he should get the shot because we’re in the 619 but here’s Kurt Angle to say Eddie, Big Show and JBL all lost at Wrestlemania. Booker wasn’t even on Wrestlemania! As for Rey, you can’t challenge for the title without being an adult. Angle was very busy on Sunday because he got arrested for armed robbery. He stole the show and everyone saw it and the police had to do something.

JBL tells everyone to get out of the ring but here’s Theodore Long to say JBL doesn’t have a rematch clause in his Wrestlemania contract. They all have a case and they’ll have a chance to prove it in a series of matches to determine the new #1 contender, though the word tournament isn’t mentioned. We’ll start with JBL vs. Mysterio. I’m not sure if you can call it a tournament, but that’s the same thing we just got to set up Wrestlemania.

There is a bikini contest tonight, which I really hope isn’t what makes this TV-MA.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London is defending and Chavo Guerrero is on commentary, talking about the twenty five men who eliminated him from the battle royal last week. On a related note: I love the way Charles Robinson flips the belt up to hold it over his head. It’s a nice touch. London grabs an early armdrag but gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A heck of an Irish whip into the corner has London in more trouble and some knees to the face make it even worse. London tries to fight up but gets sent hard into the buckle and down to the floor in a crash that looked pretty bad.

Back in and London is busted open with the blood gushing as London starts his comeback. A hurricanrana gives London two but Kidman’s dropkick is good for the same. We pause so Robinson can ask if London wants to continue and the distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb. Kidman grabs a fireman’s carry but London rolls through into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The blood was quite the addition (as well as the TV-MA explanation) and it felt

like the match ended in a hurry as a result. London is an easy guy to like and putting him against Chavo should give us some good matches. It’s better than having the cruiserweights barely ever show up and there is never a problem with some faster paced matches.

Post match Kidman and Chavo beat London down.

Long Wrestlemania recap.

Luther Reigns mocks Big Show’s sumo gear and some humor challenged wrestlers find this HILARIOUS. Show pops up and says let’s do this right now.

Big Show vs. Luther Reigns

Show chops him to the floor to start so Reigns tries to power him into the corner. That earns him some sumo strikes back across the ring and Show knocks him outside again. A big boot and corner splash set up the chokeslam to finish Reigns. That would be Reigns’ last match on Smackdown and he’s little more than a small footnote in wrestling history. He had a great look but couldn’t do anything in the ring or anything significant on the mic, so he went nowhere.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champ and the fans seem happy to see him. Cena talks about JBL being the longest reigning champion in a decade and all the things that he accomplished with the title. After all that though, the champ is here. He’s been told that he isn’t a superstar and doesn’t respect the business or its championships. Apparently traditionalists got offended when he modified the US Title, so take a look at the coveted WWE Title.

Cena goes outside and climbs into the crowd, saying that it doesn’t matter who it is coming at him: Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, JBL, the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp or Steve Gatorwolf. You want some, come get some. The celebration is on in the crowd and it does feel like a big deal and a new era.

Post break and the celebration is still on.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Gold Medal Invitational. Before we get to that though, he talks about Cena’s days being numbered because next week he’s facing Eddie Guerrero in the #1 contender series.

Kurt Angle vs. Jose Quesada

Angle asks if Jose’s family is here and jumps him as he goes to point. German suplex, Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Jose at 36 seconds.

Post match Angle puts on the ankle lock again and makes Jose scream as a preview for Eddie.

Carlito didn’t like Piper’s Pit so next week it’s Carlito’s Cabana. Anyone cool is invited, and the interviewer thinks he might qualify. The apple is loaded up so he backs off immediately.

Rey Mysterio is ready when Eddie comes in to give him a pep talk. Mysterio isn’t wild on the idea of Eddie being out there with him after what happened last week. Besides, he can beat anyone on any given night, just like he did to Eddie on Sunday. Eddie doesn’t look happy.

Michael Cole is in the ring to host a bikini contest to plug the Viva Las Divas magazine and DVD. We have Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson but Michelle McCool, Joy Giovanni and Lauren Jones interrupt. They should be included too so they disrobe as well and, of course, Torrie wins because she always does. This was a way to fill in time with good looking women so it worked on that front.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Orlando Jordan is here with JBL and we finally get the rules of the series: there are three singles matches and the winners go to a triple threat match in the UK for the title shot at a date to be announced. Better than a standard tournament. Rey moves around to start and bails to the floor, eventually suckering JBL in for a dropkick.

That’s shrugged off though and JBL forearms him in the back as the fans stay behind Rey. A shot to the face knocks Mysterio down again but he’s fine enough to snap JBL’s throat across the top. Rey’s hurricanrana puts JBL on the floor and a baseball slide puts Jordan on the floor. Back from a break with Rey holding a sleeper until JBL flips him forward for the counter. JBL starts working on the ribs and back with a suplex getting two.

A straight right hand puts Rey down again and a super fall away slam is good for two more. JBL kicks him in the face for daring to try a comeback and the expected bearhug goes on. Rey bites at the face to escape so JBL plants him with a spinebuster for two instead. The belly to back superplex is countered though and Rey hits a top rope moonsault press for his own near fall.

That means the pace can pick up, including a DDT to plant JBL. Jordan breaks up the 619 though, which draws out Eddie to deal with him. Eddie hammers away on Jordan so JBL kicks him in the back for the save. Now the 619 hits JBL, with the announcers declaring that he is gonna do it. The West Coast Pop looks to finish but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end and then they went to the logical ending. It’s fine to have Mysterio lose here because of Eddie as their issues can continue while also getting us closer to the logical JBL rematch. JBL knows how to put on a power display like this though and the match was entertaining as a result.

Post match the Bashams run in to go after Eddie and Rey but Cena makes the save. JBL points at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than Raw, even though Raw had better wrestling throughout the night. This show felt like it had more filler but it also felt like it was a show that kept things rolling rather than taking most of the night off. We have a series of challengers for the title (though the end result isn’t much of a secret) and actual comments from the new champ rather than seeing him getting beaten up for a few minutes in a lame match. It wasn’t a great show but it made me want to see where some things were going and that’s what you want from a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2015 (Original): Dang It Jon

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

There was no match on the pre-show.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

And remember: the first Wrestling Bundle ends at midnight tonight so go check it out!

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/sunday-is-the-final-day-for-wrestling-bundle-1/

Results

Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons – Kingston pinned Fernando after a Clash of the Titus

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Stephen Amell/Neville b. Stardust/King Barrett – Red Arrow to Barrett

Ryback b. Big Show and Miz – Ryback pinned Miz after a KO Punch from Big Show

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Wyatt

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree onto a chair

Team PCB b. Team Bella and Team PCB – Pumphandle slam to Brie Bella

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6