IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2005
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The road to the Royal Rumble and John Cena’s obvious coronation continues and this time around he has to beat up Kenzo Suzuki again. Other than that, we have to build towards JBL defending against both Kurt Angle and Big Show in a match that doesn’t sound too great on paper. They’ve surprised me before though so maybe that’s the case again here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of last week’s issues with Amy Weber, Kurt Angle, Joy Giovanni and Big Show where shenanigans ensued thanks to Weber outsmarting everyone else involved.

Angle tries to apologize for walking in on Joy in the shower last week but can’t get around Big Show. He finally steps aside so Angle can apologize and she says thank you. Show doesn’t like Angle but that took guts. Now they need to make JBL apologize.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Basham Brothers vs. Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T.

Van Dam and Mysterio are defending and this is under elimination rules. Ignore Van Dam having a full leg cast on his left leg and his inability to walk with any kind of speed. Thanks to a pre-show coin toss, Eddie and Jindrak start things off. That means some Jindrak hip swiveling but the fans are behind Eddie anyway. Eddie has to counter a headlock with a top wristlock but Jindrak pretty easily powers him right back into it.

In a smart move, Eddie gets Jindrak over to Booker so the double teaming can begin. The hook kick to the face puts Jindrak out as Cole has an actual good idea: why not tag in the injured Van Dam and get an easier elimination? I knew if I listened to him talk for twenty years he’d say something smart eventually. Eddie dropkicks Jindrak down again and tags Doug in for a change of pace. Both teams come in for a brawl but Mysterio trips Doug and hits a 619 on Jindrak.

Eddie puts Doug on top and we’re down to three. Back from a break with Mysterio armdragging Doug down but Eddie gets tagged in to face Rey. Eddie is hesitant here so Rey tries a flying mare, only to slip off (though replays showed that it might have been Eddie pushing him off but not shoving him far enough) and nearly land on his head. Thankfully Eddie turns it into something like a powerslam to keep Rey from a bad case of paralysis. It’s back to Booker for a spinebuster and Eddie chokes with the tag rope in the corner.

Rey monkey flips Eddie down though and hits a springboard hurricanrana for the pin and the elimination. Eddie is very, very frustrated as they leave so Doug gets in a cheap shot on Mysterio to take over. Van Dam gets knocked off the apron so it’s Rey getting choked in the corner. A steps shot to the knee has Van Dam writhing in pain on the floor but Rey avoids a charge to send Doug into the post.

Mysterio heads outside to check on Van Dam and the delay lets Danny beat on Rey even more. A stretcher comes out for Van Dam and Mysterio goes outside AGAIN to ask what’s going on. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON REY??? Danny gets two off a suplex and we hit the chinlock. Rey manages the sitout bulldog for two but Doug makes the save. A 619 hits Danny but it’s a switch so Doug’s chokebomb can connect for the pin and the titles.

Post match the Cabinet comes out to celebrate and Cole is sick because we’ll have to listen to them. The irony is strong with this one.

Hiroko says Kenzo Suzuki loves America and thinks John Cena is everything wrong with America. Tonight, Kenzo wins the US Title because God bless America. Hit that cheese grin.

JBL and the Cabinet are celebrating when they run into Big Show and Joy. They didn’t like what JBL and company did last week so it’s time for JBL to apologize. He apologizes immediately but Show wants something more sincere. Amy needs to apologize as well but she says Joy just wanted to be the center of attention last week. That makes her nothing more than a CENSORED and the catfight is on. Theodore Long makes the most well timed appearance in recent memory and makes a match between the women tonight.

Raw and Smackdown are coming to Tokyo next month.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Invitational but first, he promises to take JBL’s title at the Rumble. You might have heard of this week’s opponent.

Kurt Angle vs. Roderick Strong

I love surprise cameos like this. Strong is very excited to be here and slaps Angle in the face. The bell rings so Strong runs away because he just has to beat the clock. Angle catches him though but Strong gets two off a rollup. A double chickenwing has Strong in trouble and Angle punches him in the face again. There’s the release German suplex and the ankle lock makes Strong tap in a hurry.

Wrestlemania Recall: Morton Downey Jr. in Piper’s Pit.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kenzo Suzuki

Cena is defending but first, he makes fun of Kenzo for thinking that he’s going to become more American tonight. If you want to know what America is about, look out into the crowd. America is why he wears these colors (an orange Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey at the moment) and tonight, they’re going to whip Kenzo together. Suzuki slugs Cena down in the corner to start but Cena spears him down and hammers away. A bulldog drops Kenzo and there’s the Five Knuckle Shuffle (complete with bow). The shoes get pumped up and it’s the FU to retain the title in a hurry. The Cena roll continues.

Cena leaves through the crowd to celebrate.

Video on the weekend house show tour.

Amy is freaking out because she isn’t a wrestler and everyone has been banned from ringside.

Joy rubs baby oil on herself and gets a kiss for luck from Big Show.

Video on Heidenreich being scared of caskets and losing a match last week to keep the Rumble match a casket match.

Amy Weber vs. Joy Giovanni

Or not as there is no Joy. The music plays twice and no one is here so Amy wins via forfeit.

Show wants Long to find Joy and threatens violence if it doesn’t happen. Finlay and Steve Keirn are on the case. Everyone leaves so Heidenreich comes in to complain about the casket match again. The match is still on so get over it. Heidenreich leaves and JBL comes in but denies knowing anything about Joy’s disappearance.

Post break, JBL has given his alibi but Long says if he’s lying, the title is stripped next week.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Nunzio

Funaki is defending and gets a jobber entrance. Nunzio goes right at him to start but gets kicked in the ribs. An armdrag sets up an early armbar on Nunzio, who gets up without too much effort. Back up and Nunzio dropkicks him out of the air, setting up his own chinlock. Funaki fights up again and hits a kick to the arm, followed by a high crossbody with Nunzio rolling through for his own near fall. Not that it matters as Funaki hits a sloppy tornado DDT to retain.

Rating: C-. This was a rather nice little match for such a short amount of time. The ending didn’t look great but given how little time they had, they were probably going faster than they should have. Funaki isn’t the long term champion but at least they’re getting the champion on TV more than once a month or so.

Long accuses Carlito of having something to do with Joy’s disappearance. Carlito says no but that does sound like another bad mark against Long’s status as General Manager. Long throws Carlito out but here are Jackie Gayda and Torrie Wilson to take his place. They saw Orlando Jordan following Joy on her way to the ring. Long sends for Jordan and says he should have known.

Post break Jordan has given his alibi as well….and then says he admits it. He told Joy Amy was going to hurt her but that was it. Show comes in and chokes Jordan, who says JBL was in a photo shoot when Joy disappeared. That better be true, or bones will be broken.

Raw Rebound.

The Chairman of the Florida Agricultural Society is here to honor JBL as their Man of the Year. We get the full entrance and the Chairman talks about JBL helping to replant orange trees after the hurricane season and supplying a bunch of fertilizer. JBL gets a plaque and we get a photo op before the required speech. He talks about helping the people of Florida live and prosper but he did it for that kid who goes to the breakfast table and wants orange juice. Or for the family who starts off on the right foot with a JBL chant to start their morning.

As JBL allows the fans to cheer him, Angle interrupts and accuses JBL of abducting Joy. Angle wants to know his plan but JBL keeps denying it. That’s not good enough for Angle, who hears noises coming from the trunk of JBL’s limo. Joy is indeed in there, drawing out medics to tend to her. Cue Show to cry over Joy and then turn back to JBL. The fight is on with Show cleaning house and beating the fire out of Jordan. A bunch of chair shots leave Jordan laying and Show glares at JBL in the crowd.

We cut to the back where Angle, Reigns and Jindrak talk about loving it when a plan comes together. They smile and walk off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a very interesting show as while a lot happened, a good chunk of it was wrapped up by the end of the show or didn’t change that much. What it did do though was entertain me, which is so often lacking in wrestling. They did a bunch of stuff here and it was a fun show where I was wanting to see where things went. That’s a better way to spend two hours than doing the same stuff over and over, making this a rather nice surprise. I know you can’t have some big angle every week, but it was cool to have something different for a week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 6, 2005
Location: Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in a new year and it’s time to start building towards the Royal Rumble, featuring another Undertaker vs. Heidenreich match. I’m not sure why anyone would be looking forward to that but hopefully it wraps up their feud once and for all. Other than that, John Cena is looking like the star of stars and I’m thinking that has some potential. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Fallout from last week’s Tag Team Title match. Rey brings out the 619 Cam but Eddie steals it for some filming of guest timekeeper Joy Giovanni. We get started with Rey snapping off a headscissors but getting caught in a test of strength. That’s broken up with Rey climbing onto Eddie’s back for two off a sunset flip, meaning it’s an early standoff. Back up and it’s another headscissors to rattle Eddie some more.

Rey charges again but this time he gets faceplanted down, setting up an armbar on the right (not left Cole) arm. The hammerlock goes on for a good bit until Rey makes the rope, with Eddie not letting go immediately. Rey tries a moonsault but gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a dropkick to the ribs. Eddie misses a charge though and crotches himself against the post as we take a break.

Back with Rey holding something like an abdominal stretch on the mat before switching to an armbar. An exchange of sleepers goes to Rey, followed by a springboard armdrag. Rey gets two off a Lionsault and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up so Rey dropkicks him into the ropes, only to miss the 619. Eddie chills in the corner so Rey tries a Bronco Buster, which is blocked with a raised boot.

It was NOT a low blow though (Eddie promises) so Rey takes him up top but the hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb. A missed charge bumps the referee though and Eddie has an idea. It’s the old grab the title spot so he throws it to Rey….who throws it right back and drops down as the referee gets up.

Eddie crawls around on his stomach to hide the title and INSISTS that he did not use the belt. He tries to crawl over and throw it away but gets caught, giving us a hilarious look on his face. Rey cracks up and Eddie tries to convince the referee that it means Rey did it. That’s almost a double DQ but Eddie’s begging keeps the match going….and lets Rey small package him for the pin.

Rating: B-. Well of course these two had a fun match, but the ending was hysterical with Eddie going so over the top when he had no idea what to do in the situation. His NO and HE’S LAUGHING got some actual laughter and they did it for the right reason. How often do you get that in wrestling?

Post match Rey shakes an unenthusiastic Eddie’s hand.

Heidenreich thanks Paul Heyman for coming to help him with the casket stipulation. For some reason, Heyman is treated like a big reveal here and isn’t shown until a little bit into Heidenreich’s speech. Heyman promises to fix things.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Akio

Funaki is defending and Carlito, with his petition, is on commentary. Hang on actually as Carlito gets a signature from the cameraman and some fans. Funaki starts fast with an armdrag to send Akio outside, followed by some rollups for two each. Carlito isn’t done though and even gets inside, asking the referee and wrestlers for signatures.

With Carlito sent outside (sans signatures), it’s time to get some security guards to sign. Akio’s enziguri gets two and it’s off to a quickly broken armbar. Funaki hits a bulldog for two as Carlito is asking more fans for signatures. Akio misses a corkscrew moonsault and gets DDTed off the middle rope for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? This was all about Carlito’s deal and does very little to make me want to see the cruiserweights for the time being. You can’t put a squash match in there instead of a title match? Hopefully they don’t do any more of this stuff, or at least not in a match that should matter.

Post match Joy won’t sign so Carlito spits apple on her. I do not find this to be cool.

Heyman and Heidenreich try to talk Long out of the casket match at the Royal Rumble. Violence seems to be threatened so Long gives Heidenreich an offer: If he can beat Undertaker tonight, he gets to pick a new stipulation. Oh and we’ll make it a handicap match with Heyman involved. Heyman: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???”

Kurt Angle meets with Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak but Amy Weber comes in and wants to talk to him in private. She offers him her services, which Angle sees as her hedging her bets. Personal relations are implied and Angle seems rather happy.

Here’s Angle for the Kurt Angle Invitational and he’s feeling like he’s up for a gamble tonight. By that he means doing the same thing he’s done every week.

Kurt Angle vs. Brian Black

Black looks a bit like Chris Nowinski with shorter hair. Angle makes him tap in less than thirty seconds.

Torrie Wilson and Jackie Gayda meet Daniel Puder, who doesn’t seem entirely impressed. Puder brings up Jackie cheating on Charlie Haas and wishes her better luck with men in the future. They can leave now, with Puder saying they’re just after his money.

And now, a battle rap between John Cena and Kenzo Suzuki before their US Title match next week. Kenzo, now clean shaven, is dressed like Uncle Sam. It’s Kenzo going first and talking about how much he loves America with the usual lame jokes. Cena on the other hand goes with a bunch of gay jokes about him and sex jokes about Hiroko. Kenzo says something about Cena sucking so Cena brings out Rochelle, Michelle and Lauren.

They get Kenzo’s attention and he flirts with them a bit. Cena: “I swear, he’s got some game.” The women seem more disturbed than anything else so Hiroko jumps on Michelle’s back. That’s broken up and Cena cleans house. They’re just biding time until Cena goes after the World Title because everyone else feels beneath him.

Next week: the Tag Team Titles are on the line in a four way.

Rob Van Dam vs. Doug Basham

Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan are in Doug’s corner. Rob takes him to the mat without much effort as Mysterio has come out to even the score a bit. The threat of a kick to the face sends Doug outside, where he shoves Rey and gets punched down. That’s an ejection for Rey so Van Dam moonsaults down onto Doug for two back inside. They slug it out on the floor with Van Dam going back first into the apron so Doug can start in on the spine.

The bow and arrow hold doesn’t last long so Doug tries a Vader Bomb, which hits raised feet. Rob hits the middle rope boot to the face and Rolling Thunder keeps Doug in trouble. A distraction lets Orlando give Doug a foreign object but the referee catches him, allowing Danny to change places. Danny’s chokebomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special to see here though it does give the Bashams a little momentum as we head into next week’s title match. The tag division isn’t exactly strong right now but Van Dam and Mysterio have felt like filler champions since they won the belts. That’s not a bad thing but I’m not sure who is going to work well as champions.

Angle lets himself into Amy’s dressing room but she’s in the shower. The suit comes off and, after Angle rubs his nipples, it’s Joy in the shower and a lot of screaming ensues. Angle pulls her towel off and smiles again as Joy runs off. Angle gets his pants on and chases after her, but finds Big Show holding her, meaning panic sets in as Angle tries to explain things. The chase is on and they wind up in the ring as the announcers try to figure out the locker room situation. Reigns and Jindrak try to help and get destroyed but Angle grabs a chair. This goes badly as well and Angle is dispatched.

Post break, here’s the same thing you just saw.

JBL, Amy and Jordan are very happy about what happened and of course Amy has put a sign up on Joy’s locker room to mess with Angle. Yeah it was telegraphed but it worked fine.

Raw Rebound.

Heidenreich punches a wall to warm up as Heyman tries to calm him down about the casket. He was totally going to volunteer to be on Heidenreich’s team if Long didn’t order him to do it.

Heidenreich/Paul Heyman vs. Undertaker

If Heidenreich/Heyman win, they can pick a different stipulation for the Rumble match. Heyman is in a suit here. Heidenreich starts for the team and shoulders Undertaker down, which is more success than you would usually expect against undertaker. An armdrag of all things takes Heidenreich down but he sends Undertaker into the corner and hammers away.

The chinlock doesn’t do anything so Heidenreich knocks him down for two more. Undertaker is right back with his usual series of strikes and the jumping clothesline puts Heidenreich back down. Snake Eyes into the big boot sends Heidenreich to the floor….and we’ve got druids.

They bring two caskets to the ring (Cole: “Perhaps one casket is for Heidenreich and the other is for Heyman!”) and Heidenreich panics. He tags Heyman and runs out into the crowd as Undertaker’s head snaps to Heyman. A lot of screaming is cut off by the Tombstone and Heyman is sent into the casket for the win. To be fair the casket is outside so I guess it would be a countout. Then again there’s no bell so I guess it’s just assumed.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it should have been as Undertaker vs. Heidenreich in a long match is nothing I ever need to see again. Since WWE seems to think they MUST finish this feud though, keeping it short is the best idea possible. Now just let Undertaker crush him at the Rumble (in another short match) and be done with it.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener carries a lot of the show and the Angle/Joy thing was fine, though the Undertaker vs. Heidenreich stuff just isn’t working. They need to get to the Royal Rumble build already so Cena can become the main event star he’s destined to be. You can feel the energy when he’s on screen and there’s no one even close to that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 30, 2004
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’ll wrap up the year here as we’re back stateside after Tribute to the Troops. With that out of the way, it’s time to head towards the Royal Rumble, which hasn’t really been set up yet. It’s hard to say what we’re going to be getting tonight as Smackdown can go anywhere from one extreme to the other. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

General Manager Theodore Long announces that tonight will be the Night of Champions with every champion defending their title against an opponent of their choosing. I think you know where this is going.

Opening sequence.

Here’s John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about the calendar changing but the champ is still here. His New Year’s Resolution is to start a revolution, meaning that from now on there is no such thing as a John Cena fan. From now on, you’re a part of the chain gang and the same of him. They all fight and ride together and since they’re so close, Cena goes out into the crowd. Back in the ring, it’s time for the US Title match so come get a shot.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and say if you want some, come get some, making this the first ever US Open Challenge. Dupree comes charging in and gets caught in a fisherman’s buster, allowing Cena to put on his robe. That means a funny little dance before the Shuffle and it’s time for Dupree to bail. Cena won’t have that though and catches Dupree with some headbutts. Back in and Dupree manages to whip him into the corner and then avoid a high crossbody, setting up the French Tickler. Cena is fine enough to drop him throat first across the top rope and the FU is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty much a squash with Cena barely breaking a sweat. The important thing here though is that Cena looked like a star and a main eventer, though there has been no mention of him going after the World Title yet. You can see the confidence in his eyes and that’s a great sign for the future.

JBL and Amy Weber have some great idea when they run into Joy Giovanni. Amy calls her fat and Joy asks what is up with the weird skin hanging from Amy’s neck. JBL yells at Joy but Big Show interrupts. Show wants the title shot tonight, which JBL will take into consideration. Amy and Joy are acceptable in these roles, assuming you ignore that the roles don’t need to exist.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his open challenge. He wants the shot at JBL as well, because Angle made him tap out two weeks ago. First though, let’s get on with the challenge.

Kurt Angle vs. Matt Stryker

Not the well known Striker. Angle wrestles him to the mat and hits a few shots to the head. The ankle lock is good for the tap in less than a minute.

Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio go over possible opponents for tonight. Van Dam suggests Moolah and Mae Young when Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. come in. The challenge is thrown out and I think you know where this is going. Eddie and Booker get in an argument over what the team name should be, with Booker thinking his name should be first because it’s alphabetical. Eddie: “What alphabet is that? The ebonics alphabet???”

We look back at Undertaker vs. Heidenreich last week with Heidenreich walking out. They’ll meet again at the Royal Rumble and Undertaker gets to pick the stipulation. We really need to build to that?

Daniel Puder introduces himself to the locker room but knocks someone’s bag off the bench. That would be Hardcore Holly, who doesn’t want to hear about Puder training for eight weeks. Puder apologizes for Holly taking eleven years to get here but wonders why Holly has never been in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s where Puder is going to go after he wins the Royal Rumble. Holly thinks Puder has a lot to learn.

Long has another random woman in his office when JBL, Weber and Orlando Jordan come in. JBL is glad about getting to choose his opponent and has everyone’s name in a fish bowl. He draws a name and wants to go again but Long says it’s whoever is on that paper. JBL reluctantly agrees.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Shannon Moore

Moore is challenging and takes the Clothesline From JBL for the pin in about twenty seconds.

Post match Long comes out because he knows something is up. He wants to see what’s in the fish bowl, which Amy tries to hide. JBL yells a lot and Amy tries to leave but Joy jumps her from behind and the papers fall on the floor. As luck would have it, Long finds every paper has Moore’s name. Since JBL got to pick tonight, Long will pick for the Royal Rumble. That would be Kurt Angle, who comes out and calls JBL a liar, along with BUCKO. Angle calls him out for beating up someone small, with JBL saying Angle does that every week. Long cuts it off with a surprise: it’s going to be a triples threat match, also including Big Show.

Carlito doesn’t like Long and has a New Year’s Resolution of his own: to get rid of Long as GM. You can feel the petition coming from here. Josh Matthews can also feel the apple landing on his face from the spit.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat because it seems that they’re giving us a break from the wrestling this week. Heidenreich insists that he is NOT scared of the Undertaker and even tried to give Undertaker a way out last week. Now Undertaker wants more? The Royal Rumble will be his final resting place because Heidenreich does not fear him.

Undertaker’s voice is heard and he promises to make Heidenreich rest in peace. Cue the druids with the casket, which of course has Undertaker inside. Heidenreich freaks as Cole speculates that we could be having a casket match. This would be your weekly example of “we don’t need commentary here”.

Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns say they should be getting the Tag Team Title shot tonight because they’re awesome. The Basham Brothers come in to say they’re the real competition because they’re former champions. Eddie and Booker come in to say they’re winning the titles.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Funaki is defending in an Armageddon rematch. Spike starts fast with some slams to start but the top rope double stomp misses. That’s not good enough for Funaki to get away so Spike wraps the ribs around the post. Tazz starts singing Auld Lang Syne as Spike stomps away in the corner. Commentary switches to a discussion about Dick Clark as the audio is clearly being dubbed over something else. Funaki gets in an enziguri and a bulldog for two, followed by a sunset flip (with a pretty fast count) to retain.

Rating: D+. They barely had time to do anything here and I had almost forgotten that Funaki was champion. The Cruiserweight division is already looking like it could go away with nothing changing and that’s not a good sign so soon after a new champion. There are talented cruiserweights around, but if they’re never going to be featured, it doesn’t really matter.

Long video on Tribute To The Troops.

Michelle McCool, Rochelle and Lauren are in the back and hit on Cena as he gets coffee. He doesn’t like being interrupted but changes his tune very quickly when he sees who they are. Lauren: “Can we see it?” Michelle: “Can we touch it?” Rochelle: “Can we play with it?” They mean the spinner belt. Cena seems pleased.

Raw Rebound.

RVD thinks Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson should get the shot. Rey goes with the actual pick of Booker and Eddie (with Cole being shocked, as you knew he would be). Rey: “THEN we’ll face Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson.”

Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Booker are challenging and during their entrances, we hear about how awesome last week was. Rey and Eddie start things off with Rey hitting a quick headscissors for an early standoff. We’ll switch things up a bit as Eddie grabs a hammerlock but that’s broken up as well, meaning the second standoff. Booker comes in and muscles Rey into the corner until Rey pops up with a dropkick.

It’s off to Van Dam and the fans are rather pleased with the change of pace. A headlock slows Booker down so he suplexes his way out, only to have Rob grab it again on the mat. Rob slams him down and it’s the 4:20 for two more. Everything breaks down for a bit with Rey being sent outside so the champs can take a breather. Back from a break with Rey missing a charge into the post to put him in trouble.

Eddie comes in for some right hands and sends Rey into a spinning kick to the face from Booker. Rey fights back with forearms to Eddie and a tornado DDT to put both of them down. Van Dam comes in for some shots to the face which don’t appear to have the most effort behind them. A monkey flip sets up the Five Star to Eddie so Booker makes a save. This time it’s Van Dam going shoulder first into the post and Booker clotheslines him down to break up a tag attempt.

Eddie hits Three Amigos for two on Van Dam with Rey making his own save. Booker grabs the chinlock as things settle down a bit. Rey has to break up a cover off a Book End, this time allowing Rob to kick Booker in the face. It’s back to Rey for a super hurricanrana on Booker but the ref gets bumped.

The 619 hits Booker but Eddie breaks up the springboard. Booker kicks Rey and Rob kicks Booker, followed by a hurricanrana to take both of them to the floor. With no referee, Eddie is tempted to go after a title, which he throws to Rey for the old playing possum spot. The referee actually catches on this time and Rey grabs a victory roll to retain.

Rating: B. This felt like a match where they were getting ready to launch into a great one but they just never got to that other level. Either way, it’s very nice to end the year on a rather good match with four people who can go for a long time. Counting commercials, this was over twenty minutes, which you don’t see to often.

Eddie and Booker aren’t happy but seem to agree that it was fair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped but it felt like a lot of the people were taking the last week of the year off. Aside from the main event, nothing got any serious time with two of the matches adding up to less than a minute and a half. That being said, it makes a lot of sense to have a lighter show like this as they can start the build to the Royal Rumble next week. This was basically a week off and that’s ok given that it wasn’t likely to be a show many people were going to be watching in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,449
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I just did the Smackdown from the week before so now we’ll see the followup for the sake of continuity. We’re coming off the Royal Rumble and on the way to No Way Out, meaning Steve Austin vs. HHH/Vince McMahon is currently the top story. That’s not the worst place in the world to be and this is a pretty strong time for the company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown hero and WWF Champion Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle brags about being the most valuable sperm donor in town, Angle shows us a clip from last year where he declared himself Pittsburgh’s hometown hero in this very arena. He even told Mario Lemieux to come back to the Pittsburgh Penguins, which Lemieux did in the year in between. You can imagine the gloating off that one, but Angle would rather talk about tonight’s fatal four way for a title shot this week on Smackdown.

Angle omits the Rock from the list of participants so here’s Rock to interrupt. Rock didn’t like being left out so he’s here to set things straight. First of all, Rock doesn’t quite agree with Angle taking credit for Lemieux return, leading to a string of various swearing and insults. With the mean things out of the way, Rock has some footage of his own, which suggests that Angle likes….pizza. Angle freaks out and Rock shows us a local pizza ad from a few years ago with Angle watching pizza toppings wrestle. Ok yeah it’s goofy, but Rock was in a series of Chef Boyardee commercials in 1999 with the jingle Gettin Cheffy With It.

Back in the arena, Rock asks about Angle saying it doesn’t matter who is in the four way, setting up the IT DOESN’T MATTER what doesn’t matter line. Rock promises to win tonight and then take the title on Thursday but here’s Big Show (also in the four way) to jump Rock from behind. Angle is very pleased as Show hits a big clothesline, but a point from Show makes the nerves go right back up.

The XFL is coming in five days. On my birthday no less.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending but Edge and Christian come out in street clothes. As I try to figure out what street they could possibly be from, Christian says Edge is sick with food poisoning he got last week at Smackdown. He even has a note from a “real professional doctor.” They have replacements though.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kaientai

The Dudleys are still defending and Kaientai promise to win by the power of Grayskull. Edge and Christian sit in on commentary (JR: “Oh goody. Hot dog.) as D-Von sends Funaki face first into the top turnbuckle. Bubba punches Taka in the face as we look at commentary for a rather annoying trope. D-Von drops his good looking legdrop for two on Funaki as Edge and Christian insist that they are NOT scared of the Dudleys.

The reverse inverted DDT slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Bubba to clean house, despite the team being firmly in control before the tag. What’s Up hits Funaki and it’s an electric chair drop into a neckbreaker (that’s a new one) to Taka. That’s enough to draw Edge in for a spear on D-Von and the Canadians bail. Funaki gets the least intriguing near fall in a long time and it’s the 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well they tried, though it wasn’t the most thrilling match any way you looked at it. There is only so much you can do to make me believe that Kaientai is a real threat to the Dudleys and the titles so this was about as good as it was going to get. If nothing else, Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys will be great, as always.

Vince promises a match tonight for the #1 contendership when HHH and Stephanie storm in with an attorney named Brian Gerwitz (ha). HHH is worried about the contract signing but Vince has it covered.

Rock left the medic’s room earlier after refusing treatment.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna but wants her to get better and move forward with everything else going on in her life.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

The Right To Censor is trying to get rid of Steve’s weapons. Therefore, Blackman has a full bag of them. Blackman strikes away to start until a belly to back suplex gets Venis out of trouble. Steven Richards gets in a few cheap shots on the floor because that’s what he’s supposed to do in a match.

There’s a whip into the steps to make it worse for Blackman as this is almost one sided so far. Back in and we hit the chinlock with Ivory shouting that violence is unacceptable. Blackman fights up and kicks him in the ribs, setting up a snap suplex for a breather. The comeback is shortlived though as Richards gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Venis to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. There’s an idea to the Right To Censor but at the same time there was only so much that could be done when their biggest star was either the Goodfather or Venis. Struggling to beat Steve Blackman isn’t a good sign either and the lack of a top star was a reason why the team never went anywhere. That and the fact that they weren’t supposed to.

Post match Blackman clotheslines Venis and beats up Richards. Bull Buchanan runs in for the save but Hardcore Holly makes the real save with some weapons. He throws Blackman some nunchucks and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Holly and Blackman tease a fight but agree to settle it over a warm cup of tea instead.

Tough Enough video submissions, including Josh Lomberger (Matthews).

Vince is on the phone with someone who is recovering and suggests massages. William Regal comes in with a cup of tea because it can relieve Vince’s stress. Vince seems pleasantly surprised.

Video on HHH vs. Steve Austin. HHH was revealed as the mastermind behind Austin being run over by a car back in 1999 and then cost him the WWF Title. Austin cost him the title at the Royal Rumble and then won the Rumble later in the night. They need one more match, and they’ll do that at No Way Out.

HHH rants about how he can’t trust anyone in this.

Austin says he’ll sign and he’ll even do it first.

Here’s Vince to emcee the contract signing. Vince talks about the hatred between the two and says the stipulations for the match are to be determined. However, there can be no violence between the two of them until No Way Out, unless it is in a sanctioned match. If HHH attacks Austin, he is suspended for six months. If Austin attacks HHH, he loses his WWF Title match at Wrestlemania.

HHH (with Stephanie and attorney) and Austin both come out and sit down as the fans are rather mean to Stephanie. Hold on though as Austin needs some beer. They stare each other down and Austin signs without saying anything. HHH’s attorney has to read the contract again and there’s something that HHH doesn’t like. We pause for some reading and Austin isn’t happy.

HHH signs….and hits Austin in the head with the metal briefcase. The beatdown is on as everyone is freaking out about the suspension. The Pedigree lays Austin out and Vince tells HHH that he’s been suspended for six months. Actually that’s not true…..because HHH didn’t actually sign. NOW he signs and gets in a gem with “Paragraph 3:16 says you can’t touch me.” I’ve always liked this segment.

The XFL is coming in five days.

Post break, here’s what you just saw before the break.

HHH and Stephanie left during the break but did make sure to pop out of the sunroof for some bragging.

APA vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Right To Censor

The winners get a title shot on Smackdown and that would be Buchanan and Goodfather for the RTC. It’s a brawl to start before the RTC even gets here with Jacqueline and Lita fighting on the ramp. With that broken up, the RTC comes in and it’s Buchanan attacking Matt to start. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Jeff missing the Whisper in the Wind. Bradshaw Clotheslines Buchanan with Goodfather making a save. That’s enough to allow Jeff to drop the Swanton for the pin and the title shot in a hurry.

Rock confirms that he will be in the four way because all Show did was tick him off. Payback is guaranteed.

Big Show laughs.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Crash

Crash is challenging and has Molly Holly in his corner. Raven brings his shopping cart full of weapons and uses it to knock Crash off the ramp. A tricycle toss misses Crash and they’re already in the crowd. Crash dives off the balcony with an ax handle and catapults Raven into a sign. They head into the concourse with JR and King using the time to plug the XFL. Raven throws a mop bucket at him and gets sent into a wall for his efforts.

Some kind of cart crushes Raven against the wall and Crash dives through the cart to take him down again. They head outside for a bulldog onto a park bench but Raven kicks Molly away before she can crotch him against a tree. Crash does it on his own but a masked woman jumps out of a car and saves Raven. Molly goes after her and gets thrown down, allowing the masked woman to hit Crash in the back so Raven can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining for a hardcore match as they were trying out there. You can only get so far in a match like this if you just hit each other with stuff so going out of the ring and trying something new is the way to go. The tree part was funny and the kind of thing you need some creativity to do and it worked out well here.

Raven and the woman (never revealed but I believe it was going to be Tori) drive off.

Chris Benoit isn’t worried about the four way.

Undertaker vs. Haku

Kane and Rikishi are here as seconds. They waste no time in slugging it out with Undertaker hitting a big boot into the legdrop for two. Old School already connects but Undertaker goes outside to beat up Rikishi. The distraction lets Haku get in a few shots and “slam” Undertaker down by the head (Haku seemed to lose the grip and Undertaker fell by himself). Back up and the jumping clothesline puts Haku down again and the jumping DDT has more effect than you might expect. Rikishi and Kane get in a fight on the floor to break up the Tombstone….so Undertaker hits a chokeslam to win a few seconds later instead.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of hitting each other until the finish here, which isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Then again, the Brothers of Destruction against Rikishi and Haku isn’t the most interesting match either. Rikishi isn’t an imposing main eventer and Undertaker just beat Haku in four minutes. Where is the threat here?

Post match Rikishi chairs Undertaker in the head to bust him open but he’s right back up to clear the ring with Kane’s help.

Post break Undertaker thinks there is too much talking going on so now it’s time to fight. Let’s have a First Blood match on Smackdown. Undertaker: “I like to bleed. It turns me on!”

Dean Malenko, a real ladies’ man, is at WWF New York and can’t stand being away from Lita much longer. They’ll be back together real soon and the Hardys won’t come between them again.

Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is on commentary as the winner faces her on Smackdown. They start fast with a Cactus Clothesline putting them both on the floor as Ivory accuses JR of fantasizing about him. Apparently big JR fans, Jacqueline and Lita dive onto Ivory and the match is thrown out in a hurry. Lita’s music plays but she didn’t seem to win.

We look at the contract signing again, with HHH apparently only signing one H before attacking Austin. That might be stretching the legal definition of not signing. One thing I always appreciate: they keep saying February 25 as the date of the show. Not “four weeks from now” or “at No Way Out”. It’s a definitive date so you know when the show is taking place. Why is that so much to ask?

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Big Show vs. The Rock

Benoit breaks up the cover but Show is right there to beat up everyone else. Jericho’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air but Benoit comes in to cut Show down. Rock comes back in for his clotheslines and Show gets tossed outside. That’s fine with Benoit, who snaps off a German suplex to Rock. The Swan Dive only hits mat and Rock’s Samoan drop gets two.

Show comes back in and gets DDTed but Rock has to go outside to deal with Jericho. Rock comes back in to break up the Crossface and the Lionsault hits Benoit for two. Jericho tries the Walls on Rock but Show grabs him by the throat. Benoit kicks Show low and the Canadians send Show outside, leaving Rock to Rock Bottom Benoit for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. That was a very fast match but they packed a lot into it and didn’t bother wasting time. Why bother doing anything more than exactly what the fans want to see here? There’s no need to build it up as anything more than what it was: four people giving it all they had to become the #1 contender, which is what you should be trying to do almost all the time.

Angle tells Rock to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It continues to amaze me how much easier these old shows are to watch. There’s an energy to them and they get through things so quickly without having the show drag. That and there’s not a ton of comedy to them. Not everything needs to have some kind of a joke included and they realized that here. It’s an entertaining show that made me want to see more, with the contract signing even having a good twist included. Well done, and it wasn’t even that great of a show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2004
Date: December 12, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final, and normally least inspired, pay per view of the year and this time around it’s all about JBL to make things even less interesting. Tonight JBL is defending the title against Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. in a four way, which takes away a lot of the talent from the rest of the card. Other than that we have….I guess the other big match is the Tough Enough boxing match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses entirely on the main event, which really is all that matters on this show.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

Rob and Rey are defending after winning the titles earlier this week. Kenzo headscissors Rob down to start so it’s a bunch of flips to get us to a standoff. The (first of many) kick to the face drops Kenzo and it’s the 420 for two with Cole again explaining it as fast as he can. He does add in “of course” before the explanation, because it’s the ONLY possible meaning. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner and it’s the challengers taking over for the first time. Rene comes in and gets cocky so Rey picks up the pace but a Kenzo distraction cuts that off.

That earns Kenzo a springboard kick from Rob, knocking him into a powerbomb to the floor from Rey. The spinning kick to the back hits Rene in the back but he’s right back with a good looking dropkick to the face. Rob shrugs that off and catapults Rene into a springboard seated senton, which barely connects and didn’t look very good as a result. Kenzo gets in a kick of his own and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long either as Rob kicks his way out and brings Rey in.

This time it’s Hiroko offering a distraction so Rene can get in a neck snap across the top. Cue Torrie to chase Hiroko off, leaving Kenzo to drop a knee for two on Rey. An armbar starts in on Rey’s arm and Rene adds a dropkick to the shoulder. Normally it would make more sense to go after Rey’s knee but at least there’s an idea. Rene’s powerbomb is broken up and Rey dives for the tag but Rene stops it with ease. The villains cut the ring off again with Kenzo hitting a running clothesline for two.

We now pause for the French Tickler, with Kenzo adding his own while on the apron. The dancing takes too long (as always) and Rene goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Everything breaks down and the Chalupa Roll (slingshot legdrop/Rolling Thunder) gets two on Rene with Kenzo making the save. A sloppy looking crossbody gets the same on Rene with Kenzo saving again. Rey is fine enough to hit the double 619 and the Five Star to Rene retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as the chemistry continues. They got some extra time here to make things that much better, as Kenzo and Rene had some good, old school styling. Rob and Rey winning the titles here would have been a nice moment but it’s not like it’s that big of a problem one way or another. Good opener, though there was some sloppiness to overcome.

Daniel Puder promises to make Mike Mizanin feel the two true pains: his right and his left. He says Mike over and over again and stumbles a few times, but the intensity helps.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a bonus Kurt Angle Invitational before his scheduled match later tonight. Angle has found a perfect challenger, who is admired by millions and takes his job very seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, SANTA CLAUS!!! Santa throws out candy to the fans but Angle says he needs to get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves. Kurt doesn’t like him though because his daughter only wants to write letters to Santa instead of talking to him. Tonight, Santa is tapping out.

Kurt Angle vs. Santa Claus

Angle Slam and ankle lock for the win in 45 seconds. I bet he gets Cole for Christmas.

Mizanin says he’s never been an underdog and he won’t look stupid tonight. The underdog is going to have some bite tonight. It’s not much of a promo but the last two he’s had have had a point to them and he’s stuck with it so he’s learning.

Long recap of the entire Tough Enough contest so far.

Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin

This is a boxing match with three one minute rounds and Al Snow on commentary. Theodore Long comes out for a long introduction and we actually have boxing commission representatives and a state issued referee because this is apparently serious. They both go nuts with punches with Miz (thank goodness that name is officially used now and I don’t have to go back and change it every time) throwing wildly and Puder showing what is likely some boxing training for MMA. Puder slips a bit and goes down to a knee with neither being a definitive winner.

Tazz actually brings up the Brawl For All between the rounds, likely earning himself a fine. The second round is a lot more subdued as they’re both winded. Puder gets in a clear rabbit punch and a few good shots have Miz staggered to end the round. The fans are loudly booing now as round three starts and they slug it out again with Puder getting the better of it to wrap things up. Puder wins on a fan decision, which is the right call as he won the second and third rounds. This was awful in case that wasn’t clear.

Post match Miz says Puder has a great overhand right. Puder says this isn’t his fight and he’s all about breaking arms.

Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. want to hurt JBL tonight and take the title. They both think they could beat each other but they each find the other’s idea hilarious. Eddie remembers that they have to deal with Undertaker though and they agree to team up against the other two. Undertaker comes in, stares at both of them, and keeps walking. You don’t see Undertaker in these segments very often and it felt out of place for him.

Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Bonus match because only a handful of matches got any kind of proper build on this show. Holly headlocks Doug to start and hits some chops in the corner, followed by some general stomping. It’s off to Haas, who gets sent into the corner so the Bashams can take over. That lasts all of three seconds until Haas armdrags Danny down, only to get kicked in the back. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Danny punches him in the face for two.

An exploder suplex gets Haas out of trouble and it’s Holly coming in with a top rope clothesline. Cue Dawn Marie to check on Charlie, drawing out Jackie Gayda to yell. As Charlie’s life continues to crumble around him (I feel so sorry over a professional wrestler having two gorgeous women fighting over him), Doug gets the worst small package I’ve ever see (it didn’t go down smoothly and Holly’s shoulders were so far off the mat I couldn’t tell who was covering whom) for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a really bad sign when a show needs this kind of filler to break the two and a half hour mark. This was awful and would have been bad anywhere, even as a middle of the show match on Velocity. The Bashams aren’t the worst team in the world but they’re involved with the World Champion and needed the love triangle to beat Holly and Haas. Just bad all around.

We recap John Cena vs. Jesus. Cena lost the US Title to Carlito and was then stabbed in a club later that night. Then he came back and destroyed the injured Carlito to win the title back. Tonight Cena gets to beat up Jesus, who is likely the person who stabbed him. This was Cena’s launch up to the next level as he was suddenly this main event level monster with a fire in his eyes and you knew it was a matter of time before he took over the show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Jackie promises to finish Dawn once and for all tonight. Charlie is sick of this but puts on his referee shirt anyway. She promises to make it up to him tonight, which calms him down a bit. Charlie makes sure she takes her engagement ring off and puts it in his pocket.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Charlie comes out with Jackie, just in case you were expecting impartiality. They trade slaps to start and then slug it out. Dawn gets the better of it and sends her into the buckle, followed by the rolling over the referee spot. A rollup with tights gives Dawn the pin.

Post match Charlie admits to the affair and ends the engagement. Jackie is too much like a dead wet fish in various ways but Dawn is like Atlanta on the 4^th of July. Charlie pulls out the engagement ring and drops to a knee for a question. Charlie: “Dawn, why are you such a s***?” He wouldn’t marry either of them and walks out.

Hey remember the Diva Search? Well now you can see a pay per view highlight package of the whole thing!

Joy Giovanni kisses Big Show for good luck. It’s quite the relationship, having gone for like two and a half weeks now.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Cole: “Here comes the man who earlier tonight made Santa Claus tap out.” This is the latest blowoff to the Angle vs. Show feud from the fall, which included Angle shooting him with a tranquilizer dart and shaving his head. Jindrak starts for the team but hang on as we need to look at his bicep. As the announcers debate whether Cole was in a bodybuilding competition or the Ziegfeld Follies, Show takes Jindrak into the corner for the overhand chop.

Angle comes in instead and is shoved right back away, meaning here’s Reigns for the first time. That’s not enough for Show, who pulls Jindrak in for a bonus. An Angle cheap shot gets Show caught up in the ropes and some kicks to the ribs keep him down. As expected, it’s Reigns and Jindrak doing most of the work, including a double suplex to give Jindrak two.

Angle comes back in for the reverse chinlock with a knee in Show’s back, followed by a choke over the bottom rope. Now it’s Jindrak with his own reverse chinlock until Show powers up and cleans house. The Alley Oop drops Jindrak and reigns is tossed to the floor but Angle gets in the Slam. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so Angle goes for the steps, which are kicked into his face. An F5 of all things finishes Jindrak.

Rating: D+. This felt like a Smackdown main event so it could have been a lot worse. The good thing is that there is nowhere else for the feud to go, meaning we should be done now that this match is over. The match wasn’t very good, but Show is pretty clearly next in line for a title shot after three major pay per view wins in a row.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops. This year’s edition is in less than two weeks.

Funaki interviews himself about his Cruiserweight Title shot. Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley comes in to call this pathetic and says Funaki will never be champion. Funaki doesn’t seem to agree.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending after Funaki won a battle royal earlier this week. Feeling out process to start with Funaki taking it to the mat for some early frustration. Some rollups give Funaki two each as Tazz makes small package jokes about Cole. A little cranking on Spike’s arm sends him to the floor for a baseball slide as Spike can’t get anything going so far. Back in and they fight over a superplex to the floor until a release gordbuster drops Funaki to the floor this time.

It’s time to start in on the ribs with Spike grabbing an abdominal stretch with Funaki’s knee down on the mat. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Funaki in trouble until he sends Spike into the corner for the break. Funaki’s high crossbody gets two so Spike tries the Dudley Dog, which is reverses into a jackknife cover to give Funaki the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here, even if it was in the spot where no one was going to care about the thing. There’s only so much you can do for a Spike vs. Funaki match and everyone knew that. At least they got the title off of Spike, who wasn’t a bad champion but his time had come and gone. Now that being said, he’s a better option than Funaki, who feels as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

We recap the World Title match. JBL has cheated his way to retaining the title over all three challengers so tonight he has to face them all at once. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the only match that has gotten a major push on TV. How often do you see a multi man match with everyone from the same state in a national promotion?

The Cabinet gives JBL a subdued pep talk as he looks like he’s walking to the gallows.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. vs. Undertaker

JBL is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The Cabinet is barred from ringside and if they interfere, JBL is stripped of the title. But if they help him win, doesn’t he just get the title back a few minutes later? If nothing else JBL is selling the heck out of his terror. JBL lets the other three beat each other up to start and it’s Undertaker booting Booker in the face so JBL can steal a near fall. No one is happy with that so it’s time to pinball him around between all three challengers at once.

With JBL down, Undertaker gets stomped in the corner, much to the fans’ annoyance. Undertaker gets knocked to the floor so it’s JBL getting double teamed for a change. As usual though, Booker gets annoyed at Eddie for going for a cover, allowing JBL to grab his own near fall. Undertaker comes back in and starts wrecking things so everyone heads outside. JBL loads up the announcers’ table but Undertaker backdrops him before anything can happen. Undertaker stalks Eddie back inside for a match I could have gone for in a much longer form.

Another backdrop gives Undertaker two and it’s Booker taking Eddie’s place. The running big boot in the corner misses so JBL comes in to beat on Booker. Choking on the ropes has Eddie and Undertaker in trouble but Undertaker is up with a spinebuster to cut Booker off. Old School and the Downward Spiral give Undertaker two with Eddie making the save so Undertaker launches him over the top with some raw power.

There’s the apron legdrop but JBL runs Undertaker over on the floor. Back in and JBL chokes Booker with some tape as Eddie pulls out a rather unnecessary ladder. After that takes Undertaker out, JBL grabs the title but Booker starts cleaning house with kicks to the face and head. The ax kick gets two on Eddie and Booker’s NO WAY face is great. It’s back to the floor with JBL badly powerbombing Booker onto the announcers’ table and then elbowing him through it.

The Last Ride puts JBL through the other table, leaving Eddie to play dead in the ring. The chokeslam connects and it’s time for the Last Ride but Eddie gets in a belt shot to the head. A pair of frog splashes gets two and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be terrified. With wrestling not working, Eddie brings in the ladder for a mega frog splash but his own knee is banged up so it’s a delayed two with JBL pulling the referee out.

Rating: B. They were working out there and the match didn’t feel as long as it was, but the JBL title reign has lost its charm in a hurry. It’s becoming more and more clear that we’re not getting out of this anytime soon and seeing him get beaten up so often but escaping with the title is rather tiring. It’s the same thing we had to see from HHH for years and the Cabinet is no Evolution.

Cole: “This could be the beginning of a long title reign for JBL!” He’s been champion five and a half months!

Overall Rating: D. There are far worse shows but there was no hiding how unimportant this show was. We’re just waiting on the Rumble at this point because both brands are dying for some fresh blood. Unfortunately that means a long wait and stuff like Dawn vs. Jackie, the Tough Enough boxing match and that lame Bashams tag match to get through first. There is some good stuff on here, but it’s certainly not worth watching the rest of the show to get to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane

Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.

Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.

MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.

Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.

Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.

Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal

Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson

Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.

Rourke is at ringside.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton is ready for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.

Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.

We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.

Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.

Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.

Now what gets to follow that?

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.

Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.

Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.

This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.

This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.

HHH(c) vs. Randy Orton

With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: B-

Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 25
Date: April, 5 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Some Pussycat Doll

Please keep in mind that this show was partially written live so excuse some of the in the moment emotional reactions.

Since this show literally is happening tonight, I won’t bother with any kind of a recap. We start with your standard history package that somehow never gets old to me at all.

Money In The Bank: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Finlay is breaking out the old school Fit Finlay shoulder pads. I’m digging it. After ten minutes of entrances, we’re underway. As usual I’m not even going to bother trying to keep track of everything that’s going on in this as it’s going to be all over the place like it always is.

Henry and Kane clear the ring almost immediately and the fans chant for Christian. Christian and Shelton take care of them as it’s back and forth already. Kofi may have hurt his knee on a big jump over the ladder and a dropkick. Henry and Kane go up but can’t get anywhere as we’re three minutes in. An army of midcarers takes care of Henry.

Four guys go up the ladder and the big guys take them down again. Finlay clears the ring and dives out on Kane. Christian takes out Kane and Finlay as this is kind of all of the place. What a shock indeed. Henry takes out all three of them to continue the tradition. Punk and Kofi hit stereo suicide dives. Shelton dives off the ladder and more or less lands on his head.

Shelton may have killed himself with that stupid flip. That scared the heck out of me. Also for those interested, I just found out that the tag titles was the preshow match with the Colons winning. It’s your general spotfest so far and that’s what it’s supposed to be. Crowd is fairly hot too.

Horny busts out a stepladder which gets him nowhere at all. Naturally a jumping midget can take out six guys. Finlay brings out the big ladder which is required viewing anymore. Kofi takes a good shot and is down already. He’s taking a big beating and it’s working pretty well.
Kofi is bumping like a crazy man in this match. I’m loving him so far as he’s the highlight of the show. Kane and Henry were dominant early on but here come the smaller people. Henry is back and is setting up a ladder. While he holds it up, Kofi runs up the side of it but falls and is caught in the World’s Strongest Slam in a sweet spot.

MVP comes in to pound of Henry which gets him nowhere again. MVP stops Shelton, Punk stops MVP, Christian stops Punk. Punk and Christian do a cool spot on a ladder that’s balanced from one ladder to the top rope and even though the Unprettier was botched horribly, that’s hard to blame them for.

MVP almost makes it again but Shelton makes an incredible save. He runs up a ladder leaning against the ring then across a ladder between the rope and a ladder in the ring and then up the other ladder that MVP is on to make the last second save. That was incredible and as usual Shelton gets the spot of the match.

The botches in this match are killing it. These matches are really hard to call. Kane, Christian and Punk are fighting on the ladders and all but Punk fall, making him the first two time MITB winner!

Rating: C+. The problem here is the botches. There were a ton this year and the winner was kind of a letdown, and remember Punk is my favorite wrestler. It was a great opener, but not a great match if that makes sense. Too many people and really just a lot of one on ones for about twenty minutes. Not bad.

Axxess recap. Would be funner to be there to watch it.

Kid Rock performs. We don’t care as this is a food break for me. He’s on his third song and the reaction is priceless. There is absolute silence here as the fans simply could not care less. He does two old songs and his new one. My lord this is a waste of time. We don’t get the tag title match but we get this? Waste of time.

He is on his fourth song now. At least All Summer Long is a decent song, but do we need to hear this now? My goodness, he’s doing another one. The divas come out to dance with him. My headache is now at the grab a hatchet level, as this is at ten minutes now. After a big pyro display, it’s time for the battle royal. Holy goodness I’m bored.

25 Diva Battle Royal

Not even going to try to call this as we don’t even get the intros here. This is a freaking joke, thank you Kid Rock. No Trish or Lita means this isn’t a legit battle royal. We don’t even have a list or a face shot of all the divas. It’s a standard battle royal and I literally couldn’t be more bored. The commentators are sucking up to Kid Rock so much that I’m about to mute this. Literally people are being eliminated and it’s the first we hear of them. This is pathetic.

Santino is in drag as this is somehow even dumber every second. Never in my life have I seen a worse Mania match, period. Final there are Melina, Beth and Santino. I knew it. Freaking Santino wins. The commentators apparently don’t realize the massive tattoo on his chest. Has wrestling really fallen this far? The SFAC is going to be proud of this, and that is completely sickening to me.

Rating: N/A. This is the worst Mania match of all time. It was designed to get a stupid comedy guy on the show, we don’t know who was in it, they got no face time, and Kid Rock is the freaking cause of it. I am officially angry about this show. Such a waste of time. I’m not rating it because there isn’t a rating low enough for it.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Jericho has to beat all three to win. Massive recap as we’re somehow led to believe that Rourke won’t be at the show. Yeah right. Rourke actually is here. I’m surprised. They kind of get their own intros as their musics play but they stand on the ramp instead of going to the ring. Piper gets a decent pop. He looks decent too. Considering he had cancer less than two years ago, this is amazing. Flair accompanies them.

Piper is wearing a shirt which is likely a good thing. PIPER THROWS A DROPKICK!!! Off to Snuka who does his usual offense that gets him nowhere at all. And there’s the Liontamer to end him. He looked awful out there. Piper is mind blowing here. He looks as good as he did in WCW. Now is that a compliment or not?

As I type that, he’s eliminated via Codebreaker. This is literally 5 minutes in and it’s 1 on 1. I know this didn’t seem like it was five minutes but that’s how slowly these guys are moving. The old guys are getting to throw out some basic offense but it’s just leading to them being eliminated. Steamboat skins the cat in his 50s and of course we don’t see it. HE JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! This is making up for everything.

Ross talks about how Jericho is staying with the Legends like it’s surprising. Steamboat is tearing this up and I’m wanting to stop the review to look at him go. This is incredible stuff considering no one expected a single thing out of him. He gets the cross body for two as Jericho is reeling. And then he walks into the Codebreaker to end it. That was amazing while it lasted.

Steamboat had me freaking out. Flair runs in and gets beaten up too. Of course Rourke gets in the ring and they have an impromptu boxing match. Rourke knocks him down as this is somehow dumber than it was before.

Rating: C+. Considering their ages and level of rust, this was mind blowing. Jericho had to win though. Steamboat had me on the edge of my chair. How he’s not called one of the best ever is beyond me. We’re three matches in and Steamboat has carried this. That’s a very bad sign. Let me make sure I have this straight: four hall of famers can’t beat up Jericho, but a 56 year old guy that boxed almost 15 years ago can beat him up?

In something funny, when they said go into the storm, it thundered at my house.

We get the recap talking about how Matt more or less tried to kill Jeff about three times. Of course he doesn’t prosecute him. He wrestles him. You have to love WWE.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I miss Matt’s old heel attire. He looked like a legit monster. Naturally they got rid of them and made him an overrated face again. This has happened before but they made it big this time. I don’t think people are interested in this but whatever. Matt takes a shot with a WWE poster. How EXTREME! Matt takes Jeff down but Jeff gets up first. Well of course he does.

Crowd is waking up a tad here which might be exactly what this show needs. Matt has a bit of a gut which surprises me. Poetry in Motion with the assistance of a chair misses and here comes Matt. He takes out Jeff’s knee and just cracks him with the chair for two. Matt grabs a dry-vac from under the ring. Why a dry vac is under there is beyond me but it’s WWE so I’ll just kind of go with it.

Side effect on a chair gets two. Matt is dominating here as he bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but there’s no D-Von around to get it. What are we going to do??? They slug it out and neither guy goes through it. This is intense but kind of dull at the same time if that makes sense.

Jeff gets a kendo stick to crack away at him and here come the required trashcans. Slingshot dropkick into the can into Matt has him in big trouble. Swanton misses and Jeff is in trouble. Twist of Fate connect and only gets two. Almost zero heat on the kickout either. Matt goes for a Swanton which is blocked. The people of Houston just avoided a huge earthquake.

Matt gets CRACKED over the head with a chair in a sick looking and sounding shot. Jeff sets Matt on a table and then another table on top of that and splashes it and dang if he didn’t almost hit him! Back in the ring it only gets two. This needs to end like now.

The more successful one goes to the floor and pulls out some ladders. Well of course he does. Jeff misses a huge bump by setting up a huge ladder and then climbing up a regular one and jumping over the big one. He crashes down in pain and I’m slightly entertained. Matt does a sick looking Twist of Fate on a chair to close this out.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible and the ending was perfect. Matt’s finisher, not Jeff’s mistake ended it. There was no way Jeff could win this and he didn’t. It wasn’t great, but it could have been far worse. Not terrible. I just don’t think they had the intensity they wanted with this and it kind of showed through.

Legends of Mania commercial.

Orton is getting ready.

IC Title: JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

I miss the intros as I heat up my tacos. Mysterio looks like Doink the Clown. How does he manage to come up with a dumber outfit every Mania? Rey looks so ridiculous as apparently he’s the Joker. He’s also wearing bright green suspenders. Holy goodness it’s a 10 second match! WHAT ARE THEY DOING??? Rey hits the 619 and a splash and wins it?

Rating: N/A. This is officially the dumbest Mania of all time. There has to be like 40 minutes each for the last three matches.

JBL’s big announcement is that he quits, getting the pop of the night.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

If this match isn’t a 5 star classic, this is officially the worst Mania of all time, end of argument. Massive recap to start of course. The entrances are of course mind blowingly sweet with Taker coming up out of darkness and Shawn coming down from the ceiling in a white chariot like an angel. Ok that was awesome.

This just feels epic on all levels which is how it’s supposed to feel. And here we go. The fans pop for the bell. Think they’re excited? Sign a few rows back: It’s still real to me! OH YES! Shawn scores a few points with some chops and then runs. Taker blocks a punch and throws Shawn over the top but Shawn catches himself.

HBK fakes a knee injury. Now that’s just brilliant. You know he’s never done that for Wrestlemania before! Basically an extended feeling out process here as neither guy can get an advantage going here. Big back drop by Taker and Shawn is in some trouble. Elbow gets one only. Old School gets a big ovation and Shawn is in trouble.

And so much for that as Taker misses a kick in the corner and Shawn goes for the knee. There go the dueling chants. Sharpshooter is blocked so Shawn uses a reverse figure four and Taker is in little trouble because he’s not going to tap. Taker’s solution to get out of this? Punch Shawn in the face. You can’t beat simplicity at times.

Taker unloads on him in the corner and gets the Snake Eyes and big boot combination. Shawn gets a bad crossface out of nowhere which sees Taker laying on his side. Taker stands up and gets a side slam to break up the hold. Nicely done. Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker glares at him. Forearm puts Taker down and we get a nip up at the same time Taker sits up.

Shawn sets for the elbow from the top but Taker sits up and Shawn is in trouble again. He counters that but walks into Hell’s Gate as he goes for the Figure Four again. A rope is grabbed and we head the to floor. Apron legdrop misses and Shawn avoids trouble. Baseball slide puts Taker down again. Moonsault to the floor misses though and Shawn is in big trouble again.

The momentum is changing every few seconds here and it’s great stuff. Taker hits the ropes and OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS! Taker dove over the ropes but overrotated and slammed his freaking head into the floor! He more or less killed a cameraman and there was a loud cracking sound. Luckily the replay shows that it was just the camera hitting the ground which is a nice break I guess.

Wow that was insane looking though. I was legitimately thinking they were going to have to stop it there. That was as scary as any bump I’ve ever seen. SOMEHOW, and I mean that literally, Taker isn’t dead. Shawn does a semi-heel turn and tries to get the count out win. To be fair though that might be better for Taker’s health at this point.

Taker BARELY makes it back in at nine and a half. I was actually thinking it was over there. There are those dueling chants again. Superkick is caught by a BIG old chokeslam for two as the crowd explodes. Tombstone, superkick, chokeslam. All of those were countered in a row but Shawn gets a BIG superkick for two. Sweet goodness I’d have bet on that one.

Shawn’s ticked off face is great. Taker grabs him by the throat and goes for the Last Ride but Shawn gets a sunset flip. Taker grabs him again and is like boy you’re getting drilled and hits a HUGE Last Ride for TWO. Wow these kickouts are incredible. Taker goes up and misses an elbow as both guys are down again.

Shawn is sent over the top but Skins the Cat. Taker catches him AGAIN in the Tombstone and Shawn is DEAD. Apparently DEAD doesn’t mean three though as Shawn kicks out AGAIN. This is incredible. Taker’s face is like NO FREAKING WAY. Shawn counters another Tombstone attempt with a spinning DDT of all things.

Michaels somehow gets up to the top rope and hits the big elbow but both guys are down again. Sweet Chin Music out of NOWHERE gets two. Well of course it did. With nothing else left from either guy they slug it out from their knees. Shawn chops away but Taker kicks him in the face to put him down.

Tombstone is countered AGAIN and Shawn gets a boot into the jaw of Taker in the corner to buy himself some time. Shawn goes up for a moonsault press but Taker somehow catches him and Tombstones him to death to FINALLY end this. In-freaking-credible. Absolutely amazing stuff and it WINS.
Rating: A+. Wrestlemania has been saved. Future edit: no it hasn’t. Go watch this match right now as it’s the best match I have ever seen.

Draft is coming in 8 days. I’m shaking after watching that. Never before have I been on the edge of my seat for a match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Standard recap leading to Edge and Show coming out first. Cena’s old rap song comes on and an army of John Cenas come out. There must be 80 or so of them. They all do You Can’t See Me and then Cena’s music hits. Pretty cool visual. We get the big match indroduction which I always love. Cena gets a decent pop with boos mixed in.

Edge is champion coming in here. We head into the triple threat formula almost immediately with various people being knocked out for awhile each. That’s fine but it gets rather repetitive. About five minutes pass with nothing but various one on one combinations. That’s not terribly interesting but it’s what we’ve come to expect in these things.

Cena hits his top rope Fameasser off the top rope and down goes Show. Off to Edge vs. Cena as I doubt Show will be in there for awhile. Edgecution gets two. More weak stuff here as Show is in faster than I expected him to be here. Chavo of all people runs out to save Show and takes an FU for his troubles.

Show gets tied up in the ropes and loudly shouts GET ME OUT OF HERE! Cena goes off on Edge as the fans aren’t really liking him. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge. Vickie gets up to save Edge but winds up getting speared onto Chavo. Both guys go down and Show is still stuck. Ah there he’s out.

Show goes off on them and manages to chokeslam Edge. FU attempt on Show but he gets out and drills Cena with the punch. Loud THANK YOU BIG SHOW chant from that. Edge gets a running spear through Show through the barricade. Back in the ring Cena counters the spear into the STFU.

Finally Show comes in for the save as this is actually pretty good. Back to Show vs. Edge for awhile as JR runs through Show’s measurements again. Show misses a Vader Bomb and here comes Cena again. The two non-monsters suplex Show in an always cool looking spot.

Everyone trades some more finishers and Edge gets a spear for two on Cena. Here’s your HOLY FREAKING CRAP spot of the match as Edge jumps on Show’s back with a sleeper so Cena is like screw it and picks up BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE IN THE FU! Edge falls off and Show takes the FU. Cena hits one on Edge onto Show for the pin and the title. Freaking sweetness.

Rating: B-. This was better than people gave it credit for. This wasn’t supposed to be the great and mighty be all end all title match and it wasn’t. It was a way to get the title onto Cena and make him look strong. It wasn’t bad and it accomplished its purpose. I liked it, but man this would have been better if it was three matches earlier.

WM 26 is in Phoenix.

HOF Ceremony. Austin drives his ATV around and has a mini beer bash to kill time. I have no problem with this at all. It was needed to give the fans a breather and it’s not like Austin doesn’t deserve it.

Attendance is announced, but not called a record as we kill off even more time.

Massive recap video beforehand which kills the time so dead it’s scary. They’ve hated each other since Evolution, Orton is nuts and kissed Stephanie, HHH snapped, Orton faked being insane, HHH can’t disqualified or he loses the title.
WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

In the back, HHH passes both McMahons. Orton’s entrance literally goes on nearly two and a half minutes. There’s no special ordeal or anything. He’s just walking really, really slowly. HHH’s intro is long but not as long. We get BMI. Orton gets an RKO inside of two minutes but goes for the Punt and misses. HHH is up in about a minute and hits the Pedigree. What in the world is going on here?

And remember, HHH can’t get disqualified in a match based on hate. This is going so slow that it’s painful. They’re moving like molasses out there for crying out loud (as I quote my inner Hayden Panitierre from Remember the Titans). HHH has a bad shoulder now. Orton takes over for a good while as he works on the arm.

I like the pace of this match as it’s very slow but more violent. That’s what this is supposed to be. You’re supposed to have a guy that’s completely insane and a guy that’s desperate to defend his wife’s honor. Would you expect guys to be using Greco-Roman style here?

I like the brawling stuff. Wait for it…wait for it…YES! We get an Orton chinlock! All is right with the world! This is a more physical style and while it’s not great, it’s also not awful. This match isn’t really building to anything though. Ok I’m thinking I’m changing my mind on the pacing thing. This needs to be FAR more brutal given the story backing it up. It’s similar to Kane/Undertaker at Mania 14 where they were supposed to be in a war and just weren’t at all.

Orton takes him down with the backbreaker for two. I love that dropkick that Orton has. HHH FINALLY sends Orton to the floor to break the very long stretch of momentum he’s had. On the floor HHH keeps teasing various weapons shots but won’t do them because of the title thing. He sets for the Pedigree but Orton backdrops him through the announce table.

Elevated DDT hits on the floor and HHH is more or less done. He beats the count of course and Orton mixes up his offense with various types of stomps. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.

Rating: F+. The ending was just a total letdown. Forget a good pace. This was a complete waste of time and had nothing good to offer at all. The ending is HHH’s revenge for his recent losses. Terrible way to close it out, absolutely terrible. Never in my life have I seen someone with a bigger ego. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever here for HHH to go over. Not a single one.

Orton was pushed to the moon recently and he gets nothing for it? Likely he’ll get the belt at Backlash or something, but this was a waste. Any credibility he has is killed. That was awful and I don’t want to see even the letter that comes after G for a long, long time. Horrible.

It’s the same issue that many recent Mania main events have had: it’s not a bad match, but there’s nothing mind blowing. It’s like they’re in safe mode or something. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.
Overall Rating: D. This show had one good match in it. That’s all. You have a decent opener so that was ok. Then the Women’s match was absolutely a disgrace. Never in my life have I seen a dumber thing. Seriously, we get a ten minute concert of all things and then you don’t even see the older divas, in a match for NOSTALGIA get introduced? My goodness that’s a joke. Plain and simple, that was pathetic.

That was to get a weak comedy act in when it could have been something very cool. Austin could come out at the end but not come out to beat up Jericho? That would have saved that whole thing. Hardys match was just ok. Not great but could have been worse by far. IC Title was to get to JBL quitting so I don’t even call that a match. Then we have the one match: Taker and HBK was an absolute classic, hands down.

Maybe not the best ever as Steamboat and Savage was almost too incredible to ever be passed, but this was by far the best match in many years. After that, the three way was ok and the main event was just a waste.

Overall, watch Taker and HBK and if you’re out of other good matches to watch, check out MITB and the Triple Threat. Other than that, avoid this show. Is it the worst Mania of all time? It’s not due to HBK/Taker, but that’s literally the only thing keeping it ahead of 2 and 9. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6