IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: May 26, 2005
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Judgment Day and that means it’s going to be a good while before Smackdown has its own pay per view again. ECW One Night Stand is going to be its own thing and then Raw has Vengeance. Then again the Draft starts next month and that is going to shake things up anyway so it might be a long time before we know what we are going to have in the first place. Let’s get to it.

Here are Judgment Day’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the rather violent I Quit match with John Cena making JBL quit and then beating him up anyway. Quite the heroic action, but that much blood and that kind of a star making performance make up for it.

Opening sequence.

We’ll start things off with Carlito’s Cabana (becoming more common) and Matt Morgan is out with Carlito. The guest this week is someone who earned a lot of respect from the locker room at Judgment Day: Carlito himself. Carlito praises himself but also thanks Morgan, and we see a clip of Morgan laying Big Show out. Cue Theodore Long, with Carlito designating him as NOT cool. Long makes fun of Morgan’s stutter while threatening to suspend him if he goes too far.

With that out of the way, Long explains the Draft, which will see a random wrestler move from Raw to Smackdown and vice versa. Therefore, next week might be everyone’s last on the show so Long has an idea. Tonight it’s a winner’s choice battle royal with the winner getting any match they choose. That’s cool with Carlito, who wants to win and get a WWE Title match against John Cena. Long likes the enthusiasm so Carlito can have another match tonight….against the Big Show. Carlito hugs Morgan out of fear.

Rey Mysterio is getting ready when he talks about making Eddie Guerrero pay tonight. When he wins the battle royal, he’s coming after Eddie again.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

MNM is defending in a rematch from Sunday. Holly and Mercury start things off but Nitro gets in a cheap shot at the bell. That’s fine with Holly, who drops Mercury with a belly to back suplex for two. Mercury chops him into the corner, which is just fine with Holly. Now it’s Nitro being brought in for more chops from Holly and the hanging kick to the low abdomen keeps Mercury in trouble.

Haas comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Mercury drives him into the corner without much effort. That means it’s off to Nitro, who gets dropkicked out of the air to put him down as well. We take a very sudden break and come back with Nitro coming in off a blind tag and getting in a cheap shot. The chinlock goes on, followed by a double gutbuster to really put Haas down. Haas grabs an armdrag and dives for the corner but Nitro powers him straight back into the corner to cut the crowd off again.

Holly chases Mercury around the ring instead of being on the apron for a tag, allowing Melina to rake Haas’ eyes. Not that it matters as Haas gets over for the tag a few seconds later and Holly starts cleaning house. Everything breaks down and the referee gets bumped, meaning there’s no count off the Alabama Slam. Nitro hits Holly with a chair and the referee sees that for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Haas and Holly have managed to do a little bit better than just being the lame team of combined jobbers, but at the same time there was no reason to believe that they were going to win the titles here. MNM continues to be a great team who needs some better opponents, which has been the case for a long list of teams over the last….well several years long stretches in company history.

Post match Haas chases everyone off with the chair.

We look at Booker T. and Sharmell beating up Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Booker says he’s never been prouder of Sharmell and he’ll never forget to take out the trash.

Here’s John Cena for a chat and the fans are rather happy to see him. Cena gives a more reserved than usual thank you and talks about how the chain represents never giving up. There had been a lot of talk about him being a one hit wonder and a bad champion. Then JBL said two words to change all of that on Sunday. Cena never said those words and therefore, THE CHAMP IS HERE.

JBL was right that Cena would suffer and bleed like never before and he was right. But when JBL said that he would take Cena’s soul, he was completely wrong. JBL QUIT and he must feel humiliated because of everything. Cena: “He’s got to feel like some pathetic shell of a man. And you are!”

Cue JBL, who looks a bit like Vince as he gets out of the limo. JBL slowly gets in the ring and says he doesn’t make excuses. That’s why he’s rich and the longest reigning WWE Champion in the last decade. JBL gave Cena a beating but he would never quit. He’s beaten everyone but he isn’t sure if he can beat Cena. It’s true that Cena is the man, but it’s just for now.

Someone like Cena will implode like Kurt Cobain or Mike Tyson. Then JBL will be there to become champion again. Cena says the people will decide your legacy and if he goes down, it’s in a blaze of glory. He’s a soldier who doesn’t care about his legacy, but JBL does. That’s why Cena has something for him (Cena: “You’re an idiot but you’ve done a lot of great things.”): a tribute video of JBL’s career. It had some classic matches and moments so JBL would love to see it.

We see the tribute video….which quickly turns into JBL saying I QUIT over and over. Cena dubs him the most celebrated quitter in WWE history and JBL leaves in disgust. This was a nice moment for Cena at first before it broke down into the usual banter between the two, though JBL had it coming to him after being a jerk, even in congratulating Cena on his win.

Carlito vs. Big Show

Show starts with the chops but stops to yell at Morgan. With Carlito still down, Show steps on his chest but Morgan grabs Show’s boot, earning himself an ejection. Carlito tries to leave as well, only to get pulled over the top and back inside in a big crash. Show: “YOU LOST YOUR STUTTERING FRIEND!” A huge chop takes Carlito down again and Show shoves him away with ease. Carlito gets up fast though and hits a middle rope dropkick to the leg. Not that it matters as the chokeslam gives Show the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was just a way to set up the post match angle and continue to remind us that Morgan exists. That being said, you’re not going to get anywhere with Morgan as a monster with the stuttering deal, but I’m sure WWE doesn’t understand the problem. What we got barely existed, but I can always go for seeing Carlito get destroyed.

Post match Morgan comes out and kicks Show in the head, setting up an F5 (in slow motion but an F5) through the announcers’ table.

We look back at the pretty awesome ECW funeral from Raw with Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman hyping up One Night Stand. You can feel Heyman’s emotion coming through as his baby is getting one more chance.

Kurt Angle comes out for the Kurt Angle Invitational but first he needs to talk about how dark of a time it is for him. He got beaten up by Booker T. and then got humiliated by Booker’s gutter s*** wife. Then he had to hear about ECW, which isn’t his kind of wrestling. He even went to an ECW show and it made him so sick that he left halfway through. That’s why he is coming to One Night Stand with a bunch of tickets for some Smackdown wrestlers. Angle yells at Tazz, promising to bounce the ECW wrestlers like Heyman bounced checks. Tazz takes off his headset and sunglasses but never gets up. On with the destruction.

Kurt Angle vs. Robert

We never hear his last name but it’s Robert Fury of OVW non-fame. Angle runs him over as usual and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock. Tazz kept his headset off and glared at Angle throughout the match.

Post match, Angle says on with the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Kurt Angle, Heidenreich, Carlito, Matt Morgan, Booker T., Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Akio, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Orlando Jordan, Paul London, Scotty 2 Hotty, Nunzio, Johnny Nitro, Mark Jindrak, Joey Mercury

Hold on though as Eddie chairs Rey from behind during his entrance. The beatdown ensues with referees running out for the late save. So there is no Rey, Morgan starts on the floor and Eddie (who has cut his nose somehow) drops to the floor as well. London is out first, because that’s what a champion means around here. Angle tosses Funaki and Kidman clotheslines Mercury out.

Akio is eliminated by Booker as Morgan blocks Carlito from being thrown out. There goes Jindrak and we take a break. Back with Nitro having been eliminated and Holly dumping Kidman. Angle gets rid of Heidenreich (which Cole calls a disqualification) as the ring is starting to thin out a bit. There goes Chavo at Scotty’s hands and Haas is out as well, with a nasty landing where his foot hits the apron on the way down.

Morgan pulls out Nunzio and Funaki but the distraction lets Booker eliminate Carlito. Eddie comes back in and tosses Scotty. We’re down to the Bashams, Jordan, Eddie, Angle, Holly and Booker but Eddie gets rid of Holly. Cue Rey to fight Eddie and take him out with a headscissors. Rey, who went over the top to the apron, goes back in and comes back out through the middle ropes (smart man) to dive onto Eddie. Referees have to break it up again as Eddie looks shell shocked.

We take another break and come back with Rey, the Bashams, Jordan, Angle and Booker (I guess Morgan was either never an entrant or just walked out without being eliminated). Some double teaming has Booker on the apron but he fights back in and clotheslines his way to freedom.

Spinebusters abound as Booker beats up the Cabinet by himself and gets rid of all three of them. Angle tosses Booker though and we’re down to Angle vs. Mysterio. Rey hammers on Angle in the corner but Angle powers him down with a throw. There’s a suplex to make it even worse but Rey gets in a dropkick and sends him to the apron. The 619 misses and Angle picks the ankle but Rey rolls out of the ankle lock.

They head to the apron and Angle has to hold on by the bottom rope. Some right hands can’t get rid of Angle, who climbs back over the top until Rey dropkicks him down again. This time Angle gets back in and snaps off a belly to belly but Rey is right back with the 619. Rey loads up a springboard but lands on a low blow, setting up an Angle Slam for the elimination to give Angle the win.

Rating: C+. The stuff after Eddie got in made it a lot better, but the first part with the losers in there didn’t do it any favors. That being said, the second half and the ending were enough to make up for the boring first half and it wound up working out pretty well. It was a good way to showcase the upper midcard talent, which is where Smackdown shines. I’m not wild on the Booker vs. Angle story but it’s a fresh feud between two talented guys. Eddie vs. Rey continues to be good too and now we have a reason for another match. It’s one of the better battle royals in awhile so I’ll take what I can get.

Post match Angle announces that he’s facing Booker T……’s wife Sharmell next week. A lick of the lips ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show did a great job of showing the difference between the good and the bad around here. The best done stuff on the show is going quite well, with Cena looking like a star, Eddie vs. Rey being some incredible stuff and Angle vs. Booker being fine if you can leave out one key element.

Then there’s the rest of the show, with names like Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas getting a second title shot, the Cruiserweight Champion being eliminated like any given jobber, the United States Champion being nothing more than a lackey, and someone who should be a can’t miss prospect being reduced to a stuttering joke. That is a very firm line being drawn up and down this show and it’s showing badly. The good stuff is rather good but the weaker stuff is….well it isn’t terrible, but it’s not interesting and that’s worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 12, 2005
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re on our way to Judgment Day and that means we should be in for Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Most of the time you have to worry about how the big match is going to go but how bad can a Mysterio vs. Guerrero match go? Other than that, we continue the build to John Cena vs. JBL II. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey vs. Eddie, with the latter attacking Rey again last week. Chavo Guerrero seems to be causing all of this, which adds another layer.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eddie, on foot and debuting Can You Feel The Heat as his new theme music. He grabs a chair and has a seat, plus a spotlight for a bonus. Everyone has been asking why he took Rey out last week and it’s simple: he was giving Rey what he wanted. He pulls out Rey’s mask and shouts DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY??? It’s Rey’s fault and what else could he have expected Eddie to do?

Rey drove him to this, plus all of these people. The fans have been living off of his Latino Heat but he got it all back last week. Eddie likes feeling like this and grabs the camera, demanding that it listen to him. He tells Rey to think about his son and daughter, because Eddie is about to hurt their papa. Rey has been talking about returning at Judgment Day, but Eddie advises against it. Right now, Eddie has his blood on his hands and if Rey comes back, Eddie will have his life.

This was GREAT and one of the best things WWE has done in a long time. It’s an excellent example of things only making sense to the heel, who is the only one that needs to understand what is going on. Eddie sees things differently and has been driven to everything he’s done by his jealousy. Yeah it was an extreme response, but it was everyone else’s fault because he hadn’t done anything wrong. Eddie sold the heck out of it too and looked crazed and angry, which is a rather dangerous combination. Excellent stuff here.

Heidenreich vs. Spike Dudley

This however is not likely to be excellent. Before the match, Heidenreich talks about asking Spike to be his friend but Spike said no. Heidenreich knows he can find a friend here and picks a kid out of the crowd. The kid, Jordan, would like to hear one of Heidenreich’s Disasterpieces, which is about looking for friends before he fights. Jordan gets to be in Heidenreich’s corner as Spike beats Heidenreich up in another corner.

Spike even comes outside to yell at Jordan so Heidenreich makes the save and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich still isn’t any good but if you have him as something goofy like this, he’s a lot less annoying. This is the last Spike match we’ll be seeing and he would be pretty much out of the mainstream wrestling scene in about two years. For someone his size, he had quite a nice career and that’s pretty impressive.

Sharmell comes in to see Booker, who gives her a kiss and a spank. They wind up on a couch and laughter ensues.

Chavo talks to MNM about Eddie being so vicious lately. There’s a six man tag later and Paul London is looking for partners. Chavo approves of this new partnership.

We look back at Kurt Angle chasing Sharmell last week and nearly putting her in the ankle lock.

Angle says that Sharmell started it by slapping him first. He wouldn’t have done anything to her because he doesn’t hurt women. No, Angle makes them feel very good. Everyone has vices and his happens to be “gutter sl***s like Booker T.’s wife.” Angle knows he probably has some psychological disorder but he needs to say something.

Angle: “Booker, I want to have sex with your wife. And I’m not just talking any kind of sex with your wife. I’m talking, you know, that kind of bestiality sex with your wife. That kind of perverted sex.” The fans rightfully boo this out of the building because WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? I mean I know it’s Vince (or maybe Angle) but what could have been a good feud just went flying off a cliff and bounced all the way down.

MNM/Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London/Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

London works on Nitro’s arm to start and it’s quickly off to Charlie to stay on said arm. A shoulder breaker and a middle rope knee to the shoulder keeps Nitro down as everything breaks down for a bit. Mercury gets in a cheap shot to take over on Haas and Chavo comes in for a belly to back suplex. Haas fights up without too much trouble and dives over for the hot tag off to Holly. London comes in with a double high crossbody and a hurricanrana to Chavo as everything breaks down again. Chavo can’t get the Gory Bomb on London but he can get a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a match here and that’s all you could expect in something like this. The Cruiserweight Title is rather worthless but that has to be expected. Chavo is a good choice for a heel but he has been around the thing for a long time now and we need something fresh. It isn’t a good combination for a not great match and a boring story and that’s what we had here.

John Cena had an autograph signing for his CD.

Here is JBL for a chat. He plugs the re-release of his financial book, which is receiving the best reviews since the Bible. You can find it in bookstores and online, but you won’t see it with a parental advisory, which Cena’s CD has. Cena is a bad example and role model, along with being a bad champion. JBL talks about everything he’s been through in the last years but he has never quit. Those words never came across his mind and at Judgment Day, he is busting Cena open and making him quit.

JBL will find out that Cena is who he says he is and that is a wrestling god. Throughout the world, the fans will be chanting his name….and here’s Cena to interrupt. The fight is on but the Cabinet comes in to take Cena apart. Of all people, Funaki, Nunzio and Shannon Moore come out for the save. With that being his best hope, Cena fights up himself as the locker room comes out to keep them apart. The fight breaks out again and gets broken up just as fast as Cena is rather pleased with the whole thing.

Post break, here’s everything you just saw.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Another one of those future names who means nothing at the moment. Eddie kicks away and elbows him in the face to start but stops to yell at Mysterio’s mask on the post. He even puts the mask on Jacobs and hammers away before tossing him outside as the dominance continues. Back in and Eddie grabs a chair, thinks about it with a crazed look on his face, and hits Jacobs with a brainbuster onto the chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the wrestling but rather just showing how crazy Eddie has gone over the last few weeks. The hyper intense Eddie is a very fresh twist for him and it’s making things more interesting. It helps when you have someone who can perform at this kind of a level. Not a good match, but very good character stuff.

Post match Eddie yells at the mask, saying Rey better not show up.

Judgment Day rundown.

Cole and Tazz talk about Cena’s music video.

And now, Cena’s music video.

Matt Morgan vs. Funaki

Before the match, Morgan talks about how people make fun of the way Funaki talks while stuttering heavily. SEE, IT’S FUNNY! A big boot knocks Funaki silly and another shot to the head knocks him out. The suplex into the Rock Bottom finishes Funaki in a hurry.

Raw Rebound.

Booker tells Sharmell to stay in the back tonight. That does not bode well.

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana and his guest this week is the Big Show. Carlito gets straight to the point: he wants Show to be his bodyguard. Show: “You want me to play second banana to you?” Carlito: “No…..we don’t do bananas here…..we do apples.” Carlito shows us some stills of Big Show in the sumo match at Wrestlemania, which was embarrassing. They could be unstoppable together, but Show says he needs Carlito as much as he needs a bigger shoe size.

Carlito grabs the apple but Show grabs him by the throat and eats the apple. Before the chokeslam goes through, Show hunches over and grabs his stomach. He can’t get up and Carlito says that it can only take one bad apple to spoil the bunch and Show just ate that apple. Carlito pours the apples over him and leaves Show laying. That’s some very lucky foresight from Carlito, though I don’t know how much we can expect from the match.

Kurt Angle vs. Booker T.

No Sharmell and Booker is rightfully ticked. Booker wastes no time in hammering Angle down and stomping away in the corner. Angle’s right hands don’t work very well so Booker heads outside for a chair. When the referee cuts that off, Booker gets sent into the steps and it’s time for some American stomping back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Booker is right back with the side kick and right hands to the head. Angle manages to pull the trunks to send him shoulder first into the post and there’s the Angle Slam. With Booker down, Angle runs off to the back. Booker follows and the match is a double countout somewhere in there.

Rating: C-. Much like the Eddie match, the wrestling wasn’t the point here as the match was just a means to an end. The Angle/Sharmell stuff is much more creepy than anything else and while I can get the idea behind it, there comes a point where it isn’t a good story anymore as much as it is disturbing. That promo earlier took it to the latter and that’s not a good thing.

In the back, Angle goes into Sharmell’s locker room and shuts the door as screaming is heard. Booker runs in and gets jumped by Angle as Sharmell keeps screaming. Angle: “Come on Booker. You want some? Cause I want your wife!”Angle rams him head first into a locker and leaves as Sharmell screams even more to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the angles were a lot more important than the show and that’s not a bad thing. Most of the stories were good enough with Eddie being outstanding, JBL vs. Cena being quite good and Angle vs. Booker….well Eddie was great. The wrestling didn’t play a big part here but we can do that once we get to the pay per view. Not a good shot, but check out that Eddie stuff as it’s getting to be a major treat.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2005
Location: NEC Arena, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re still over in England and this time around we’ll be seeing a four way elimination match to determine the first challenger for John Cena’s Smackdown World Title. There is a good chance that match is going to be getting a lot of the TV time, though I’m hoping we get some time on Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Carlito to open things up with Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito goes over some British food stereotypes and wants to spit apple in the Queen’s face. See, England is NOT cool because they have not yet discovered cool. We get a picture of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, who must not be cool.

That brings him to his guest: Kurt Angle, who immediately agrees with Carlito’s take on England. There really is nothing cool around here, like making Shawn Michaels tap at Wrestlemania or beating Eddie Guerrero a few weeks ago. That’s cool, but what is REALLY cool is winning the four way tonight and going on to become a five time WWE Champion. This brings out a rather muscular British wrestler to interrupt and Angle isn’t happy.

The guy introduces himself as Steve Lewington, who wants to take part in the Kurt Angle Invitational. That isn’t happening, but Angle throws in a bad British accent to say no in a better way. Angle sends him away and jumps him from behind, which is the American way. He promises to become #1 contender tonight….and Lewington jumps him from behind. A low blow cuts Lewington off though and the Angle Slam/ankle lock make it even worse. Carlito adds an apple spit. This felt like filler, which can be a problem on the British shows.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Paul London

London is defending and Torrie Wilson is guest ring announcer for obvious reasons. London’s head was stapled together a few weeks ago so Chavo sends him face first into the buckle in a smart move. A few more shots to the head don’t do much good so London hits a rolling kick to the face, followed by a dropsault for two. London goes up top but gets shoved off, sending him ribs first into the turnbuckle and out to the floor. That’s quite the crash and it’s enough for the countout.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it should set up a rematch for the title down the line. Chavo has a reasonable complaint about losing the title in a battle royal so giving him a few matches against London is a good idea. What might not be a good idea is having your champion lose like this when he isn’t the most established star in the first place.

Post match Chavo celebrates with the title but Torrie says she has been informed that a championship cannot change hands on a countout. Is there reason to believe that she knew that before he told him? Chavo lets out some frustrations with a Gory Bomb.

We recap the issues between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, which included them losing the Tag Team Titles last week.

The Daily Star Girls are here….and that’s it.

Sharmell is firing Booker T. up when Heidenreich shows up. Booker gets in his face….but Heidenreich just wants to read a poem about the four way. Sharmell can dig the poem, which has Booker winning. Heidenreich is happy because he made two friends tonight. They really still see potential in this poetry gimmick?

Eddie comes in to see Rey to try and bury the hatchet. As Eddie talks about being a bad partner lately, Chavo comes in to say he’s going to win the Cruiserweight Title soon. If the two of them play their cards right, they could be champions again. Eddie doesn’t like this line of thinking and says everyone is just like Chavo: jealous of the relationship Eddie and Rey have. He and Rey are family, but Chavo doesn’t buy that because Rey is no Guerrero.

Eddie says Rey has been more of a brother than his own blood and is there for him every time. Eddie asks if Rey is his family and Rey cuts off Chavo for interfering. Chavo isn’t part of this and needs to leave. Chavo leaves and Rey agrees that they are great friends and partners. Yeah Eddie may not be all there mentally sometimes but that’s the case with everyone. His heart is in it though and that’s what counts now and forever. It’s time to go win some titles. Awesome stuff here, as has been the case with almost everything Eddie and Rey have been doing.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Eddie and Rey are challenging. It’s Nitro in trouble early as both Eddie and Rey get in a few shots to the face. Nitro sends Eddie to the apron, allowing Mercury to pull him down to the floor and then post him for a bonus. As the fans whistle at Melina, the champs start keeping Guerrero down in the corner like a good team should. Eddie gets up without much trouble and drives over for the tag to Rey, who springboards in as only he can. He also accidentally runs into Eddie as only he can, though a springboard moonsault is still good enough for two on Mercury.

A hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 on Mercury as Eddie is walking out. One heck of a powerbomb plants Mysterio as Eddie is watching on the Titantron. Eddie eventually comes back and gets on the apron as we take a break. Back with Rey in trouble, including Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop connecting for two.

We hit the waistlock as Eddie is looking annoyed on the apron. Nitro switches to a reverse chinlock until Rey kicks him off, only to have Eddie look like he’s sitting through a seminar on proper handwashing technique. Eddie won’t reach his hand out when Rey gets over so Mercury pulls him away and drops an elbow to the back. The assisted elevated DDT plants Rey to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This worked very well from a storytelling perspective though not so much from a wrestling perspective. That wasn’t the point here though and the big angle was quite good as an enhanced version of how Strike Force split back at Wrestlemania V. It was very well done and it’s likely to keep being awesome.

Post match MNM destroys Rey and posts him as Eddie just stands there watching from the apron. He slowly walks away as Rey screams for him to come back in one of the best moments they’ve done in a long time.

Post break we recap the whole thing, which isn’t as effective with Cole calling every step of it.

John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Non-title. Before Cena comes out, Rene talks about being a REAL European athlete because he’s from France. Dupree starts fast and even gets in a spinebuster for some right hands. We hit the reverse chinlock again before a kick to the back sets up a second version. Cena finally realizes how boring this is and finishes with the usual in a hurry.

Rating: D. This was rather boring despite barely breaking three minutes. Cena vs. Dupree has been done so many times and it isn’t made better by the fact that Dupree has never felt like a threat to him. I had almost forgotten that Dupree was even a thing at this point and that might be better for everyone.

Matt Morgan vs. Mikey Whiplash

Whiplash would go on to become a name in British wrestling. Morgan gets to stutter about how he stutters. Who in the world looked at someone like Morgan and thought STUTTERING was the right way to go? Morgan blasts him in the face for what he thought was laughter and generally mauls him for a bit before finishing with the suplex into the hard Rock Bottom for the pin in a hurry.

JBL, still with the classic title belt, says it doesn’t matter where we are, because the fans still want to chant his name. Big Show comes in to say JBL says the same thing every week. No matter what he says, JBL is on a losing streak (no he isn’t) and tonight it’s going to continue (no it isn’t).

We go behind the scenes of John Cena’s music video (for Bad Bad Man with all of it’s 80s greatness), complete with Christina Aguliera showing up and sounding rather uninterested. The video premieres next week.

Booker T. vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Elimination rules for the #1 contendership and Orlando Jordan is here with JBL. Angle already has the straps down so you know this is serious. The brawl is on in a hurry to start with Show cleaning house, even knocking away a German suplex attempt. A legdrop crushes JBL and sends Booker flying off a toss. Show crushes all three of them in the corner but Angle pops out with an Angle Slam for one.

Booker adds the ax kick for two and the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. They knock Show outside for the huge Angle Slam through the table….and a countout for the elimination. In a four way? That’s a creative way to get rid of him, even if it goes against the general rules of the match. We take a break and come back with Booker fighting out of the corner but crotching himself off a missed sidekick.

A whip into the steps slows JBL down and Angle suplexes Booker for two. JBL comes back in and walks into a Book End for two but Angle is right back with the rolling German suplexes for the same on Booker. Neither the Angle Slam or the Book End can connect so Angle picks the ankle. That’s broken up as well so Angle hits the Slam for two more. Booker’s superkick gets his own near fall as Jordan slides in a chair. That earns him an ejection and the distraction lets Angle chair Booker in the head for the second elimination to get us down to one on one.

We take another break and come back with JBL slightly cut open and Angle fighting out of a chinlock. The ankle lock goes on but gets broken up just as quickly and there’s the fall away slam. The Clothesline hits the referee though, just as Angle gets the ankle lock. JBL calls out the Bashams for the save so it’s a bunch of suplexes all around. That includes some rolling German suplexes to JBL and the ankle lock gets the tap, which no one sees. Cue Booker to chair Angle down, allowing JBL to steal the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. Booker vs. Angle made this work rather well, even when the ending was as obvious as you could have gotten. They have made no secret about the fact that this was JBL’s win the entire way and that’s fine. It makes the most sense and you can have the other three get title shots later on if they want to. Not a great match, but it got around the clear finish and that’s kind of hard to do.

JBL does You Can’t See Me to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a story heavy show and that gave it a way around some of the lame wrestling. The shows over in England are often a bit off wrestling wise (probably due to the travel issues) so going with some big angle advancement was the right call. It’s a good show and now we can start the build towards whatever their next pay per view is going to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2005
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,258
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The search for a #1 contender continues with Booker T. vs. Big Show for the final spot in the #1 contenders triple threat match. The other, and likely more interesting, story is the issues between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio, who are still the reigning Smackdown Tag Team Champions. For now at least. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

WWE Championship Series: Big Show vs. Booker T.

JBL, with the now former version of the WWE Title, is on commentary. Booker’s wife Sharmell is in the front row. Hold on though as here’s Kurt Angle, which doesn’t sit well with JBL. Kurt stares at JBL and then joins commentary as well. Booker’s waistlock doesn’t get him anywhere as JBL goes on one of his great rants about how unfair this whole thing is. Angle mentions being a four time WWE Champion, with Cole bringing up the gold medal. Angle: “That too.” Some shots to the knees have Show down but he uses the good leg to kick away in the corner.

The standing legdrop gives Show two as Angle comes to the realization that he would face JBL one on one if no one wins here. Oh here we go. As JBL yells about Angle being bald, Show cuts off the comeback with a superkick. The big boot misses though and Show crotches himself on the ropes. The Book End gets two and a Cactus Clothesline puts both of them on the floor. That’s enough for Angle and JBL to get up and beat them both down for the double DQ.

Rating: D+. This was all about the story instead of the match itself, a lot of which was missed for the sake of showing commentary. You can see the four way coming from here because heels never learn in WWE but at least the commentary was entertaining until we got to the finish. Show is already back to where he was before his comeback though and that’s a bit sad to see.

Post match Show and Booker clear the ring and here’s Theodore Long to say not so fast. As expected, next week will now be a four way #1 contenders match, because this company can’t even go through three matches without changing the format of a series it created. As for tonight, tag match playa, holla holla holla!

It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana, with the fans behind Carlito in a bit of a surprise. We’re in New York City and that’s not cool. He has no problem with spitting part of the Big Apple in their faces because he doesn’t like it here. Earlier today, he was walking the streets and saw hundreds of kids with no chance of growing up to be cool. New Yorkers are known for losing their cool, which brings him to his guest tonight, who is the opposite of cool: Eddie Guerrero.

The fans are VERY behind Eddie here as Carlito brings up Eddie’s absence last week when MNM laid Rey Mysterio out. We see a clip, but Eddie threatens to do some violent things to Carlito if he says cool again. Eddie would like Rey to come out here right now for a chat so here he is. A lot has changed in the last year with Eddie going from holding up the WWE Championship in this building a year ago and now….this. Eddie has become clouded and selfish and it cost Rey a shot at the WWE Championship.

Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t have, Eddie is focusing on what he does have: his health, and his family, like Rey. They shake hands but here are MNM on the screen. Melina wastes no time in issuing the challenge but Eddie wants them to say it face to face. They say they’re happier back here, and step aside to reveal Eddie’s low rider. Spray painting ensues and Eddie rants in Spanish.

During the break, Eddie and Rey went to the car and the title match is on for tonight.

The returning Matt Morgan, now with a stutter, says he isn’t nervous because he commands attention. And that would be it for Morgan’s chances at going anywhere in WWE.

Orlando Jordan tells the Bashams, who are about three feet from him, to get over here right now. He wants them to help him beat up John Cena tonight to soften him up for JBL. Jordan leaves and Danny says he’s getting sick of this.

Matt Morgan vs. Brett Matthews

Morgan thinks Matthews is laughing at him so the destruction is on in a hurry, including a big boot. A side slam sets up a suplex into a Rock Bottom (later named the Hellevator/Nightmare Pendulum) gives Morgan the pin in a hurry. Matthews would later change his name to something that stuck a little better: Zack Ryder.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Kurt Angle vs. Booker T./Big Show

Booker and JBL stare at each other to start but Show comes in before anything happens. That means the big overhand chop and a headbutt as Show does his usual slow paced offense which looks effective enough. With JBL knocked down and out to the floor, it’s off to Angle, whose headlock is carried into the corner. Booker comes in for a headlock and cleans house without much effort. The side kick takes too long though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes.

Angle low bridges him to the floor and it’s Booker in trouble for a change. A whip into the corner sets up a waistlock with a grapevine to keep Booker down and Angle gets some near falls. JBL holds Booker down for some Angle stomping and a belly to belly makes it even worse. The rib work continues with a bodyscissors but Booker gets up and grabs a DDT. The hot tag brings in Show to clean house and run everyone over but the Angle Slam cuts him off. Show is back up and grabs a chokeslam on JBL as Angle walks out on the match. The ax kick and the chokeslam finish JBL.

Rating: D+. Totally standard main event tag match here with Angle showing some intelligence because this means nothing in the long term. They aren’t hiding the obvious ending to next week’s match and that’s acceptable enough here, though JBL vs. Cena again isn’t the most thrilling prospect in the world.

Here’s Heidenreich for a chat. He’s been here for a few days now and has even made a few friends. He would like to bring out one of those friends right now, so here is the Brooklyn Brawler (who has theme music). Heidenreich reads a poem about him, which basically says the Brawler is here. The Brawler isn’t impressed and says that was embarrassing.

The only more embarrassing thing was when the Yankees choked against the Red Sox last year in the playoffs. That was so embarrassing that Brawler takes off his shirt to reveal a Red Sox shirt. Now, he is the BOSTON BRAWLER, earning himself a beating from Heidenreich. I remember the Brawler doing this and it very well might be more memorable than anything Heidenreich did in his career.

We look back at MNM ruining the low rider.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

MNM is challenging and we get the very cool paparazzi entrance (another one which was incredible in OVW, especially with Superstar as their theme song). The brawl is on before the bell with Eddie backdropping Nitro to get things going. Mercury is sent outside as well, with Cole declaring it a tag team clinic about thirty seconds in. Back from a break with Rey dropkicking Nitro down and Eddie nailing the slingshot hilo.

A Nitro distraction lets Mercury knock Eddie off the apron though and the champs are in trouble for the first time. Mercury grabs an abdominal stretch, which is broken up in a hurry for the hot tag off to Rey. That’s fine with Nitro, who fireman’s carries him into a gutbuster from Mercury to take over again. Eddie comes back in anyway as everything breaks down. Rey loads up the 619 but Melina distracts Eddie, allowing MNM to hit their elevated DDT for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. I’ve always liked MNM and this is a good way to start them off in a hurry. It’s not a great match or anything but they advanced the Eddie vs. Rey story and made some new stars in the tag division at the same time. That’s a rather nice use of ten minutes and a much better debut than the Heart Throbs had on Raw.

Post match Eddie shoves Rey down and goes to leave but Rey shoves him down on the floor and leaves by himself.

Raw Rebound. I wouldn’t remind people of that show.

MNM has a photo shoot by their limo and Melina is very pleased.

John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Before the match, Cena, in a Babe Ruth Yankees jersey, says he’s hearing the sounds of New York and lists off some boroughs to make the crowd happy. Cena talks about how New York is built on tradition and that makes it special. New York knows how to adapt and overcome, which he will do here. Dude it’s Orlando Jordan. You could win this match without taking the jersey off. Jordan only has one Basham here and that isn’t going to end well.

Jordan gets in an early shoulder but gets punched in the corner. Doug Basham offers a distraction so Jordan can hit a DDT, which is probably about it for his big time offense. Cena comes back but gets sent shoulder first into the post so Jordan can hammer away. The bearhug is broken up with a shot to the head and a suplex puts both of them down. Back up and some clotheslines have Jordan in trouble as Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Doug has to take an FU and as the referee gets rid of him, cue Danny to belt Cena in the head. Jordan’s top rope elbow gets two and, after dropping Danny, Cena finishes with the FU.

Rating: D. What were you expecting here? Jordan isn’t interesting and isn’t worth watching but he’s here almost every single week and we have to watch him have one bad match after another. There was no way that Cena was losing here and it was a matter of time until Cena beat him. They didn’t spend too much time on it, but any time spent watching Jordan feels like an eternity.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling was not good here but the storytelling made up for a lot of it and that’s what matters more. The Eddie vs. Rey stuff is a very good story and I’m digging how they’ve made one logical step after another. That is the case with JBL vs. Cena as well, though that one isn’t as interesting. It wasn’t a great show here, but they’re setting things up and you can see where it’s going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2005
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the process of finding a new #1 contender, which is likely to be JBL. Thankfully we get some big matches on the way there, including one tonight with Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero. That is one of those matches that can’t be screwed up so we should be in for a good evening. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the #1 contender series, with Eddie Guerrero costing Rey Mysterio his match against JBL.

Opening sequence.

Orlando Jordan vs. Booker T.

Non-title with JBL on commentary. Speaking of JBL, he offers an early distraction so Jordan can get in a cheap shot to take over. Jordan stops to pose like the schnook that he is and Booker kicks him in the face, only to have the Bashams run in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on but Big Show runs (faster than I’ve seen him move in years) in for the save. Theodore Long, handicap match.

Orlando Jordan/Basham Brothers vs. Big Show/Booker T.

Show pulls Danny over the ropes to start but Doug breaks up a chokeslam attempt to Jordan. Booker beats up the Bashams and Show spears Danny on the floor. The Spinarooni sets up the ax kick and Doug is done in a hurry.

Post match we’re told Big Show faces Booker next week in the #1 contender series, which makes sense given Show’s current nice guy status. As a bonus, JBL yells at the rest of the Cabinet.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Fallout from last week’s bikini contest. Dawn kicks her in the ribs to start and sends her face first into the mat. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence of all things until Dawn hits an X Factor for two. Torrie gets two off a rollup before finishing with the swinging neckbreaker.

Video on the Australia tour.

It’s time for the debut of Carlito’s Cabana, complete with a hammock and coconut drinks. And a basket of apples for the health conscious guest, though if you disrespect him, he will spit on you. Carlito mocks the Cubs as lovable losers, just like his first guest: Rey Mysterio. We look back at Eddie Guerrero costing Rey his match against JBL last week, ending his chances at becoming #1 contender.

Rey admits that he’s mad at Eddie and hasn’t talked to him in a week but they’re family. He’ll be WWE Champion one day though, which Carlito doesn’t buy. It’s clear that Eddie is jealous of him and things are about to get a lot worse. Cue the debuting MNM, with Carlito’s eyes bugging out over Melina’s entrance (fair enough). Carlito dubs them cool and Melina handles the introductions.

They could be Tag Team Champions since Latino Heat and Mucha Lucha aren’t getting along. That’s a challenge so Rey makes fun of Melina’s breath. The beatdown is on and it’s an elevated DDT to plant Rey as the EDDIE chants don’t get him any help. Carlito sits in his lounge chair and seems impressed with the whole thing. This was a heck of a debut as you instantly get the idea of the team with the paparazzi style entrance and their overall appeal. They were outstanding down in OVW and the whole idea works even better on the main roster. Very good stuff here.

Post match JBL yells at the Cabinet some more, blaming them for costing him the World Title. A deliveryman brings in a box, which is addressed to John Cena. JBL pays him off and gets the box instead.

Rey is on the trainer’s table when an irate Eddie comes in to say he’ll deal with MNM. Rey says just leave him alone because he wasn’t there when Rey needed him. Eddie claims car trouble but Rey isn’t convinced and yells about last week. Things calm down a bit with Eddie dedicating his match against Kurt Angle tonight to Rey.

Here’s John Cena, sans title belt, for a WWE Championship presentation. Cena talks about how Chicago does it big, because they’re hosting Wrestlemania XXII next year. That brings him to the title, which everyone is chasing. Cena has made a new title belt but since JBL stole it, he can bring it out here right now. Either that or Cena can come get it.

Cue JBL, who orders some goons to bring out a trashcan and a box. JBL takes off his jacket to reveal the current title, which still has Cena’s name on it. Cena: “Looks like you made a habit out of stealing my stuff.” JBL goes on a rant about Cena ruining tradition and promises to destroy what Cena has planned for tonight. Cena says hang on as JBL opens the box and reaches in to find….guts from a slaughterhouse.

JBL is disgusted so Cena goes up and pours the whole box onto his white shirt. As I try to get my head around how lucky it is that JBL just happened to be there to intercept the box from the delivery man, Cena gets back in the ring and has the new title lowered. And yes, it’s the spinner title as we enter the dark ages.

Heidenreich vs. ???

Tazz gets his history wrong by saying that we’ve never had a poet in WWE before, meaning Michael Cole has to serve as historian. What does it say when Cole is outsmarting you? The unnamed guy hammers away in the corner but gets kicked in the face as Heidenreich talks about wanting to be friends. A corner clothesline sets up more shouting and it’s a sitout Boss Man Slam to give Heidenreich the pin.

Post match, with the jobber in the corner, Heidenreich reads a poem about….breaking wind because we’re in the Windy City. It is exactly what you would expect. That’s a Vince promo if I’ve ever heard one.

Booker and Sharmell are fired up for next week but Booker has to stop for a photo shoot. Kurt Angle comes up to say it doesn’t matter who wins next week because Angle is on a roll. Sharmell calms things down so Angle accuses Booker of needing a woman to fight his battles. Sharmell: “Oh no you didn’t.” She brings up Eddie beating Angle last year at Wrestlemania and does Booker’s catchphrase. Sharmell can actually talk outside of hailing King Booker.

Here’s Paul London with a bandage around his head after last week’s bloody match. We see part of last week’s beatdown at the hands of Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero before London talks about needing eighteen staples in his head. He can’t wrestle tonight so he’s here for a fight, meaning it’s time to call out Chavo.

Cue Chavo, who claims that London stole the Cruiserweight Title in the first place. London has never beaten him because he is the greatest of all time. Chavo is coming for the title as soon as London is cleared. An honorable man like Chavo would never fight an injured man, so here’s Kidman from behind to jump London. The champ fights him off and hits a DDT to set up the 450.

Raw Rebound.

We recap the #1 contender series. All one match of it.

WWE Championship Series: Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Feeling out process to start with Eddie taking him down by the arm. Angle reverses into a wristlock, with Eddie reversing into one of his own. That’s not working for Angle, who stacks Eddie up for two and a standoff. Eddie gets smart by picking up the pace and dropkicks Angle to the floor as they are taking their time here. Back in and a headlock takeover works a bit better for Angle but Eddie reverses into another armbar.

Eddie switches things up with Three very fast Amigos but has to roll through the frog splash as we take a break. Back with Angle uppercutting away and hitting the first belly to belly to work on the ribs. The Angle Slam is countered into a hurricanrana as they’re getting into their standard story here of Angle being laser focused with his natural skills and Eddie being creative and adapting as the match goes on. It’s very Bret vs. Shawn and they’re talented enough to make it work.

The ref gets bumped so Eddie goes outside and puts a chair near the announcers’ table before dropping down on the mat. It’s not quite enough for the DQ so Angle snaps off a German suplex. A backbreaker gives Angle some near falls and we hit the bodyscissors. Eddie gets creative by elbowing the leg for the break, earning himself another hard German suplex. With nothing else working, Angle tries a super Angle Slam, which gets elbowed away. The frog splash hits knees though and we take another break.

Back with Angle grabbing the waistlock again before the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for the double knockdown. Angle is up first and the Slam gets two to put them both down again. It’s time to roll some German suplexes for two more but Eddie hits Three more Amigos. The frog splash gets two and a small package is good for the same as Angle has to pull his singlet back up. He’s made enough to pick the ankle but Eddie rolls it away for the ref bump.

Angle grabs the chair from earlier, which draws out Rey to take it away. Eddie sees Rey holding the chair and thinks he’s going to hit him, allowing Angle to ram Rey into Eddie, knocking him silly with the chair. The referee comes back in so Angle can pin Eddie and advance.

Rating: B+. Were you expecting anything less from Angle vs. Eddie for 25 minutes? Actually you might have been as these two can put on some masterpieces. This one was just very good with some storyline advancement tied into the rather awesome match. The storytelling was there and the wedge between Eddie and Rey is furthered. That’s one of the better TV matches you’ll see in a long time and it flew by, which is always a bonus.

Eddie yells at Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It takes a lot to knock a show with this kind of a main event down this far but the rest of the night was terrible. You had a bunch of nothing matches, Heidenreich’s juvenile promo and the debut of the spinner belt. What else was positive on here other than the main event and MNM’s debut? Sharmell yelling at Angle maybe? Excellent main event but egads the rest of the show is awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and that means things are going to be resetting just a bit. John Cena won the Smackdown World Title and that means things should feel a little more energized around here. I’m not sure what to expect, but hopefully it’s a better structured show than Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are Sunday’s results it you need a recap.

This one is rated TV-MA, which should make it a bit more interesting.

Here’s JBL to get things going, because we’re doing the same thing Raw did. Cole says that JBL’s title reign lasted 244 days, which isn’t really close to the 280 that it actually was. That’s quite the error but we’ll move on to JBL ranting about how awesome he is/was while John Cena left the arena in handcuffs last week. Cena is not in his league and maybe JBL should just go back to his great life in New York City. He isn’t riding into the sunset though because he wants his rematch.

JBL quotes the Jack Nicholson court room speech from A Few Good Men but here’s Eddie Guerrero to cut him off. Eddie didn’t like hearing JBL say the people need him as champion because they only thing they need is for him to shut up. If JBL wants the title back, he’ll have to go through Eddie because he deserves it. Cue Booker T. to say they can go to the back of the line but it’s Big Show cutting them all off. The fans chant for Eddie as Big Show threatens to shove JBL’s hat somewhere.

Now it’s Rey Mysterio joining the fray and Eddie isn’t looking happy. JBL to Rey: “Try it in English.” Rey says he should get the shot because we’re in the 619 but here’s Kurt Angle to say Eddie, Big Show and JBL all lost at Wrestlemania. Booker wasn’t even on Wrestlemania! As for Rey, you can’t challenge for the title without being an adult. Angle was very busy on Sunday because he got arrested for armed robbery. He stole the show and everyone saw it and the police had to do something.

JBL tells everyone to get out of the ring but here’s Theodore Long to say JBL doesn’t have a rematch clause in his Wrestlemania contract. They all have a case and they’ll have a chance to prove it in a series of matches to determine the new #1 contender, though the word tournament isn’t mentioned. We’ll start with JBL vs. Mysterio. I’m not sure if you can call it a tournament, but that’s the same thing we just got to set up Wrestlemania.

There is a bikini contest tonight, which I really hope isn’t what makes this TV-MA.

Cruiserweight Title: Paul London vs. Billy Kidman

London is defending and Chavo Guerrero is on commentary, talking about the twenty five men who eliminated him from the battle royal last week. On a related note: I love the way Charles Robinson flips the belt up to hold it over his head. It’s a nice touch. London grabs an early armdrag but gets thrown into the corner for his efforts. A heck of an Irish whip into the corner has London in more trouble and some knees to the face make it even worse. London tries to fight up but gets sent hard into the buckle and down to the floor in a crash that looked pretty bad.

Back in and London is busted open with the blood gushing as London starts his comeback. A hurricanrana gives London two but Kidman’s dropkick is good for the same. We pause so Robinson can ask if London wants to continue and the distraction lets Kidman hit the BK Bomb. Kidman grabs a fireman’s carry but London rolls through into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. The blood was quite the addition (as well as the TV-MA explanation) and it felt

like the match ended in a hurry as a result. London is an easy guy to like and putting him against Chavo should give us some good matches. It’s better than having the cruiserweights barely ever show up and there is never a problem with some faster paced matches.

Post match Kidman and Chavo beat London down.

Long Wrestlemania recap.

Luther Reigns mocks Big Show’s sumo gear and some humor challenged wrestlers find this HILARIOUS. Show pops up and says let’s do this right now.

Big Show vs. Luther Reigns

Show chops him to the floor to start so Reigns tries to power him into the corner. That earns him some sumo strikes back across the ring and Show knocks him outside again. A big boot and corner splash set up the chokeslam to finish Reigns. That would be Reigns’ last match on Smackdown and he’s little more than a small footnote in wrestling history. He had a great look but couldn’t do anything in the ring or anything significant on the mic, so he went nowhere.

Here’s John Cena for his first comments as champ and the fans seem happy to see him. Cena talks about JBL being the longest reigning champion in a decade and all the things that he accomplished with the title. After all that though, the champ is here. He’s been told that he isn’t a superstar and doesn’t respect the business or its championships. Apparently traditionalists got offended when he modified the US Title, so take a look at the coveted WWE Title.

Cena goes outside and climbs into the crowd, saying that it doesn’t matter who it is coming at him: Booker T., Eddie Guerrero, JBL, the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp or Steve Gatorwolf. You want some, come get some. The celebration is on in the crowd and it does feel like a big deal and a new era.

Post break and the celebration is still on.

Here’s Kurt Angle for the Gold Medal Invitational. Before we get to that though, he talks about Cena’s days being numbered because next week he’s facing Eddie Guerrero in the #1 contender series.

Kurt Angle vs. Jose Quesada

Angle asks if Jose’s family is here and jumps him as he goes to point. German suplex, Angle Slam and ankle lock finish Jose at 36 seconds.

Post match Angle puts on the ankle lock again and makes Jose scream as a preview for Eddie.

Carlito didn’t like Piper’s Pit so next week it’s Carlito’s Cabana. Anyone cool is invited, and the interviewer thinks he might qualify. The apple is loaded up so he backs off immediately.

Rey Mysterio is ready when Eddie comes in to give him a pep talk. Mysterio isn’t wild on the idea of Eddie being out there with him after what happened last week. Besides, he can beat anyone on any given night, just like he did to Eddie on Sunday. Eddie doesn’t look happy.

Michael Cole is in the ring to host a bikini contest to plug the Viva Las Divas magazine and DVD. We have Miss Jackie, Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson but Michelle McCool, Joy Giovanni and Lauren Jones interrupt. They should be included too so they disrobe as well and, of course, Torrie wins because she always does. This was a way to fill in time with good looking women so it worked on that front.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Orlando Jordan is here with JBL and we finally get the rules of the series: there are three singles matches and the winners go to a triple threat match in the UK for the title shot at a date to be announced. Better than a standard tournament. Rey moves around to start and bails to the floor, eventually suckering JBL in for a dropkick.

That’s shrugged off though and JBL forearms him in the back as the fans stay behind Rey. A shot to the face knocks Mysterio down again but he’s fine enough to snap JBL’s throat across the top. Rey’s hurricanrana puts JBL on the floor and a baseball slide puts Jordan on the floor. Back from a break with Rey holding a sleeper until JBL flips him forward for the counter. JBL starts working on the ribs and back with a suplex getting two.

A straight right hand puts Rey down again and a super fall away slam is good for two more. JBL kicks him in the face for daring to try a comeback and the expected bearhug goes on. Rey bites at the face to escape so JBL plants him with a spinebuster for two instead. The belly to back superplex is countered though and Rey hits a top rope moonsault press for his own near fall.

That means the pace can pick up, including a DDT to plant JBL. Jordan breaks up the 619 though, which draws out Eddie to deal with him. Eddie hammers away on Jordan so JBL kicks him in the back for the save. Now the 619 hits JBL, with the announcers declaring that he is gonna do it. The West Coast Pop looks to finish but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was getting good by the end and then they went to the logical ending. It’s fine to have Mysterio lose here because of Eddie as their issues can continue while also getting us closer to the logical JBL rematch. JBL knows how to put on a power display like this though and the match was entertaining as a result.

Post match the Bashams run in to go after Eddie and Rey but Cena makes the save. JBL points at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one better than Raw, even though Raw had better wrestling throughout the night. This show felt like it had more filler but it also felt like it was a show that kept things rolling rather than taking most of the night off. We have a series of challengers for the title (though the end result isn’t much of a secret) and actual comments from the new champ rather than seeing him getting beaten up for a few minutes in a lame match. It wasn’t a great show but it made me want to see where some things were going and that’s what you want from a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2015
Date: August 23, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and the main event is a match too big for Wrestlemania as Brock Lesnar faces the Undertaker, who is looking for revenge after Lesnar snapped his legendary streak a year and a half ago. Also it’s title for title with US Champion John Cena facing WWE World Champion Seth Rollins. Let’s get to it.

There was no match on the pre-show.

Here’s special host Jon Stewart to open things up. He talks about all the people who will be here for the ten matches (meaning the Tag Team Title match will be on the main show) and lists off the people on the card, with Lesnar getting one of the strongest reactions. Stewart isn’t over the Streak being broken so he’d like to talk to Brock about beating the Undertaker. However, since Stewart is a mere mortal, he’d like to have a friend there when he does so. That friend is Mick Foley, who comes out to stand by his friend.

However, there seems to be some confusion. See, Foley thought Stewart wanted help interviewing Rock, not Brock. Stewart brings up Undertaker destroying Foley in the Cell and how Foley shouldn’t be afraid of anything. Foley: “THAT WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO!” Foley has wrestled around the world but never visited Suplex City and isn’t stating tonight so Stewart is on his own. Jon says on with the show.

The opening video talks about every city having a story. This city’s story is about making legends, which leads to your standard well done videos hyping up the double main event.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Well they got to open the previous pay per view with a just ok match so maybe they can get all the way up to not bad here. The threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside in the first ten seconds, just like it did on Smackdown. Sheamus gets on the announcers’ table to say the fans look stupid, not him. Orton comes out and sweeps Sheamus’ leg to move things along but Sheamus takes him down and drops a knee for two. Sheamus stomps him down and asks if the fans are not entertained. Fans: “NO!”

We hit the chinlock on Orton, drawing out HOW YO DOIN and OLE chants from the very vocal crowd. Randy fights to his feet and t-bones Sheamus out to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Sheamus tries a quick Cloverleaf but walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets in a shot to the ribs and heads up top, only to have Randy pull him down with the DDT. Again the threat of an RKO sends Sheamus outside, but this time he’s able to grab Orton for the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus tries the slingshot shoulder but Orton catches him in midair in the RKO for a sweet counter. Since this match hasn’t dragged on long enough though, Sheamus rolls outside to keep things going. With the RKO not working well enough, Orton loads up the Punt, which almost never works but neither does this match so why not try it anyway? Sheamus catches him coming in with White Noise, followed by two Brogue Kicks for the pin at 12:11.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was the best these two have ever done but there’s one simple problem: I have no reason to care about any of this. These guys have been feuding for weeks but they’re still here for reasons I don’t get. Like, why is this feud continuing other than the script says it should? That’s bad writing and a problem that WWE has far too often. The main positive here: Sheamus won a big match completely clean. Now enjoy losing until like, Survivor Series.

Some fans won a contest and got to do cool stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores

The Prime Time Players are defending but New Day steals the show with their rendition of Jay Z’s New York, complete with some lyrics about how awful the rest of the teams are, unlike New day which rocks. One fall to a finish and you can tag yourself in. New Day tries the old New Age Outlaws play by tagging in both members (Kofi and Big E.) to pin each other but the Dragons make the save.

The Dragons come in with some fast double teaming followed by Kalisto kicking Big E. in the head over and over. It’s off to Darren vs. Kofi but Big E. splashes Young to put him in trouble. This match is incredibly fast paced so far. It’s Diego in to stay on Darren’s injured ribs but New Day makes their rapid tags to stomp Young in the corner. Woods rants about breakfast and the fans are behind New Day.

Kofi comes in for a chinlock to slow things down for the first time. It’s off to Big E. for the abdominal stretch, as Cole suggests that Woods tweet instead of talk. Cole: “He could use hashtag fatal four way.” Woods: “BIG E. HAS THE MARKET CORNED ON TRICEP MEAT! YOU CAN’T EVEN GET A HAMBURGER IN WWE!” As Woods keeps going about how entertaining this beating is, Darren finally escapes for the tag to Titus, who cleans all kinds of house.

Everything breaks down and Los Matadores are sent to the floor where Fernando dropkicks Sin Cara out of the air. Woods shoves Fernando off the top rope and faceplants Torito to a nice reaction from the fans. Darren drops Woods onto the apron but Big E. spears Young back to the floor. The Lucha Dragons’ double superplex to Diego is turned into a Tower of Doom by Titus, but Kofi sneaks in with a blind tag. The Clash of the Titus plants Fernando, but Big E. throws Titus outside so Kofi can pin Fernando for the titles at 11:20. Big E.’s dancing celebration makes this even better.

Rating: B-. I had a great time with this as they didn’t even try to keep this as a regular match and made the whole thing insane. Woods stole the show here though and sounded like a star. They’ve figured out the perfect formula for these guys and the idea of New Day getting to brag about being right is awesome. Good stuff here and the match that should have opened the show.

Jon Stewart is in the back with Stephen Amell and Neville. Stewart is a big fan but is really here for Undertaker, who passes by the three of them, silencing all three.

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler

Lana left Rusev for Ziggler so Rusev injured Ziggler, triggering this match. Also Rusev has Summer Rae in his corner, who is now dressing as Lana. To counter, Lana is dressing like Ziggler. Got all that? Rusev starts fast and stomps Ziggler down before choking on the ropes. He kicks Dolph in the ribs and puts on a bearhug for a good while before the swinging Rock Bottom plants him again. All Rusev so far.

Rusev gorilla presses him up but Ziggler counters into a DDT for a breather. The Stinger Splash and neckbreaker get two for Dolph but Rusev comes back with the spinwheel kick for the same. Rusev goes up top so Ziggler can run the ropes into an X Factor. Ziggler tries a hurricanrana but has to settle for two off a sunset flip. There’s the sleeper to slow Rusev down but he’s quickly out, only to eat a Fameasser for a close two.

Rusev kicks him down again and puts on the Accolade but the girls get into it, freaking Rusev out enough that he lets go. Ziggler rolls outside but Rusev stops to stare at Lana, who gets decked by Summer. A quick superkick knocks Ziggler onto the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 12:00.

Rating: C. This was starting to cook before the lame draw ending. It’s a very interesting case here: Rusev and Ziggler have decent chemistry and Lana vs. Summer could be interesting, but Ziggler and Lana have some of the worst chemistry I’ve ever seen. It’s just awful stuff and they drag down every single scene they’re in together.

The guys keep fighting post match but Summer comes in, triggering a catfight. This almost has to lead to a mixed tag.

We recap Stephen Amell/Neville vs. Stardust/King Barrett. Amell is an actor who portrays the Green Arrow. Stardust has gone insane and thinks he’s a supervillain while Neville is billed as a superhero. King Barrett is thrown in there to make it a tag match and he has nothing better to do. As strange as this sounds, it’s actually been very well done and Amell looks like a great athlete.

Stardust/King Barrett vs. Neville/Stephen Amell

Amell comes out in his Arrow gear but is wrestling in shorts and boots. Neville flips away from Barrett to start and it’s quickly off to Stardust. He wants Amell and gets his wish, as Stephen springboards in and lands right in front of Stardust. Stardust shoves him down so Amell nips up and kicks him in the ribs. A hiptoss puts Stardust down again and Amell shoots an invisible arrow.

Barrett comes in for a kick to the ribs though and Amell is in trouble. Stardust comes back in but gets caught by an enziguri, finally allowing the hot tag to Neville. Everything breaks down with Neville cleaning house, including a middle rope Phoenix splash to Barrett, but Amell gets the dive off the top to drop Barrett and Stardust. The Red Arrow puts Barrett away at 7:37.

Rating: B+. That’s probably the best celebrity performance in the history of wrestling. Amell looked more polished that a lot of indy guys I’ve seen and was clearly having a blast out there. When his selling is already better than a good chunk of your main roster, it might be a sign that you need to make a few changes. I was very impressed here and Amell was awesome. And before I get a million complaints, yes this is on a very sliding scale.

Video on Summerslam week.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Big Show vs. Ryback

Ryback is defending and this was supposed to happen last month, only to have Ryback get injured. Miz bails to the floor to start but comes back in when Ryback has Big Show in some trouble. Show suplexes both of them down and hits a middle rope swanton (yes you read that right) on Ryback, who Miz covers for two. Back up and Miz gets dropped, allowing Show to chokeslam Ryback onto him for two. It’s Ryback up first with a spinebuster and splash to Big Show.

The fans actually get into the FEED ME MORE chant and Ryback Shell Shocks Big Show, before having to kick out of a Skull Crushing Finale. Miz gets two on Show as well and then covers both guys for two more each, followed by a third cover on each for one. I liked that. Show KO’s Ryback but Miz breaks it up at two and gets his own near fall on Ryback. There’s a KO Punch for Miz as well but Ryback shoves Show outside and steals the pin at retain at 5:31. Cole: “Classic triple threat match!”

Rating: C-. Dang they’re flying through this show tonight. We’re through five matches in just over an hour and a half and this match was the fastest of all. They had an idea going here with the stolen pins but the speed hurt it a bit. I’m very glad Ryback retained though as he’s starting to make the title feel important and it would have been really stupid to put it back on Miz or Show for another lame reign.

Stewart tries to talk to Lesnar but gets Paul Heyman instead. Jon talks about being a wrestling fan and how people remember the person with the Streak, not the person who broke it. He goes on about Heyman and Lesnar giving the fans coal for Christmas instead of a puppy. Heyman: “Glory, glory, BROCK LESNAR! I guess we couldn’t get David Letterman to host the show.”

Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Ambrose and Harper get things going but everything breaks down in a hurry with the Shield guys taking over and Dean running from announcers’ table to table for a dive onto Bray. The Wyatts pop back up though with Harper suicide diving onto Reigns, followed by a quick superkick over the announcers’ table. Ambrose’ suicide dive is basically no sold and Harper kicks him in the face to really take over.

Things settle down with the Wyatts taking over on Ambrose in the corner with some loud chops. Ambrose gets tied up in the ropes so Bray can suplex him to the floor ala Orton’s hanging DDT. Reigns is still down at ringside. Dean crawls to the empty corner and realizes what’s going on. JBL: “You’re all alone Gilligan.” The Wyatts take turns on Dean, who finally clotheslines Wyatt down. Fans: “ROMAN’S SLEEPING!”

Reigns FINALLY gets on the apron for the hot tag and cleans house, only to have the Superman Punch countered for a sitout powerbomb. Bray says he has an idea but Roman backdrops out of whatever they had planned. It’s back to Ambrose for a Doomsday Device for two on Harper. The Superman Punch and a DoubleBomb plant Harper again, followed by Dirty Deeds to Wyatt. Dean tags Roman back in for the spear and pin on Wyatt at 9:54.

Rating: C+. Well it was certainly energetic. I was buying into the tease of a heel turn but it wouldn’t have made sense given that Reigns was there when Dean finally got free for the hot tag. Also, it’s kind of nice to not go with the turn when it seems the most obvious for a change. You don’t have to force things in wrestling but WWE has fallen in love with the idea.

We recap Rollins vs. Cena. The video has Cena narrating about how awesome New York is before Rollins starts talking about the knee, setting up the title for title match. They really started playing up Cena winning his sixteenth title near as Summerslam got closer.

WWE World Title/US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is World Champion and Cena is US Champion with both on the line. Seth is all in white here. Cena grabs a headlock to start and the fans are entirely behind Rollins. Back up and we get a “Ce-na Sucks!” chant, followed by a Blockbuster from Seth. Three straight suicide dives make Rollins an even bigger hero but he has to get to the ropes to block the STF.

The Pedigree is countered and Cena totally misses the Springboard Stunner to get the crowd even more riled up. Seth’s standing shooting star gets two so he ties Cena in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp. Back up and a quick AA gets two for Cena before they slug it out. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult, followed by a reverse powerbomb to give John two.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser gets two more but Seth comes back with the buckle bomb for the same. A frog splash of all things crushes Cena and Rollins busts out an AA of his own for two more. Rollins takes his sweet time following up and gets caught in the STF. Cena pulls him back to the middle but has to fight out of the Pedigree, meaning it’s time for a Figure Four on Rollins.

Seth turns it over to reverse the pressure and both guys are down. With nothing else to do, Rollins superplexes him but rolls through into a bonus falcon’s arrow. Back up and the AA connects on Seth but the referee is knocked outside. Cena goes to check on him but gets hit with the knee to the nose. Cue Jon Stewart with a chair (Stewart and Rollins feuded on his show for months) but he hits Cena in the ribs, setting up a Pedigree onto the chair for the pin at 19:27.

Rating: B+. Uh……well alright then. I’m not sure what to think about this one but it’s nice to see Rollins getting a win in a big spot like this. I’m fine with him holding the title a bit longer as there’s really no reason to put it back on Cena just yet. The US Title could go a few different ways now and that makes things more interesting. Good match here, though I’m not sure what the point of the ending was.

Preview of upcoming WWE Network shows, including Edge and Christian on the Stone Cold Podcast, plus Lesnar at another house show at Madison Square Garden on October 3.

The pre-show panel talks as the fans thank Stewart.

We recap the Divas Revolution. Here’s the short version: one team wins, the second team wins, then the third team wins. Nothing changes though because this isn’t about being champion yet.

Team BAD vs. Team Bella vs. Team PCB

BAD: Naomi, Sasha Banks, Tamina

Bella: Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox

PCB: Paige, Charlotte, Becky Lynch

This is an elimination match with one fall eliminating each team. Brie and Becky start things off but it’s quickly off to Tamina to kick Becky in the face. BAD takes turns on Becky with Sasha only getting a slam before tagging back to Tamina. Everything breaks down and BAD hit flip dives (Sasha’s barely connected) onto PCB on the floor in a scary looking crash. The Bellas hit stereo suicide dives, which Cole incorrectly calls new. Paige flips onto the entire pile and all nine are down. Back in and Brie hits a quick Bella Buster for the pin on Tamina to get us down to two.

Nikki Rack Attacks Becky for two but Paige makes the save, only to take the Alabama Slam on the floor. Brie comes in for some YES Kicks and a weak Daniel Bryan chant before it’s off to Fox as the match is finally in a standard formula. We hit the double arm crank as the fans want Charlotte. Instead they get Nikki snap suplexing Paige for two. Back to Fox who eats a knee to the face, finally allowing the hot tag to Charlotte.

Nikki has to break up the Figure Eight on Fox but Alicia pops back up for a double big boot to put herself and Charlotte down again. Becky gets the hot tag to slug it out with Brie, who misses the BRIE MODE dropkick. Yeah it’s a dropkick this time. Lynch grabs a pumphandle slam for the pin on Brie at 15:17.

Rating: C-. So yeah, as you might have expected, Sasha gets no time after last night’s classic, the Bellas get to look dominant for most of the match, and then Becky gets a quick bit of lip service for the pin. Maybe now we can FINALLY get on with an actual story, but there’s a good chance we have more Bella promos to sit through first.

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Owens said Cesaro couldn’t beat Cena but Cesaro called Owens out on quitting all his matches. Kevin starts fast and knocks Cesaro outside for a flip dive, only to spend so much time yelling at Cole, allowing Cesaro to connect with a corkscrew dive of his own. Owens is right back up though and sends Cesaro into the barricade for a Cannonball.

A backsplash onto Cesaro’s back gets two and we hit the chinlock, which is now just a regular chinlock because why should Owens be allowed to make a spot fun? For some reason Owens thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash so Cesaro powers up and fires off slaps and punches, followed by the reverse Angle Slam for two. A gutwrench superplex gets two for Cesaro but he can’t hit the Neutralizer. Because Owens is fat you see. Like, fatter than Big Show fat. Even though Big Show weighs like 150lbs more, Owens is fat so it means more.

Owens misses his springboard moonsault but gets two off a superkick. The running uppercut sets up the Cesaro Swing into the Sharpshooter but Owens makes the rope. Cesaro puts him up top, blocks the fisherman’s superplex, and hits a great looking dropkick to stun Owens. He tries…..something, but gets crotched and superplexed, setting up the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 14:21.

Rating: B-. This was the old “let two guys hit each other a lot” style and it’s very nice to see Owens win another major match. Granted that pretty much ends Cesaro’s match as he came in fresh against a banged up Owens and still lost, but one of them had to lose here and I like Owens winning better.

We recap Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Brock broke the Streak last year at Wrestlemania but his agent Paul Heyman wouldn’t shut up about it, which angered Undertaker and made him attack Lesnar. That set up the rematch, where for reasons I’ll never understand, WWE is trying to make Undertaker a heel.

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar goes after Undertaker during the entrance (has anyone ever done that?) but Undertaker fights him off and knocks Lesnar to the floor for the opening bell. Back in and they slug it out with Undertaker getting the better of it. Old School is caught in an F5 but Undertaker slips off the back, only to be driven into the corner. There’s the first suplex but Undertaker is able to send him into the buckle to block a second. Brock might be busted open.

Snake Eyes into the big boot send Brock outside and Undertaker drops the apron legdrop. They head back inside with Undertaker winning another slugout. See, I can live with that as Undertaker has been billed as the best pure striker for years. It’s not exactly HHH just throwing punches and being fine against Brock. The chokeslam is countered into another German and Undertaker is in trouble again.

They head outside where another chokeslam is countered into the F5 through the announcers’ table to knock Undertaker silly again. Undertaker gets back in at nine and Brock just smiles at him. Brock: “I’ll kill you.” Undertaker: “You’re going to have to.” Brock goes for him but walks into a chokeslam. Tombstone gets two but Brock is up first and laughing again. Undertaker sits up and they start punching each other in the face.

Brock remembers he knows submissions and puts on the Kimura but Undertaker is in the ropes, meaning he can hit the Last Ride for another two. Brock is up first for a second F5 and another near fall. Now Lesnar is getting frustrated and the third F5 is still only good for two. That gets it past the ending at Wrestlemania.

Undertaker suckers Brock into the Hell’s Gate but gets countered into another Kimura with a bodyscissors. The bell rings but the referee says he didn’t call for it. Heyman says Undertaker tapped and in the distraction, Undertaker hits a low blow and puts on the Hell’s Gate but Lesnar flips him off….and passes out to end this at 17:13.

Rating: B+. And now we get a third because trilogies are JUST SO FREAKING COOL RIGHT??? This was a good old fashioned fight but I’m really not wild on seeing Brock lose. We don’t need to see them fight again, but that’s exactly what we’re going to get because that’s supposed to be epic. Ignore the fact that Undertaker never beating Lesnar and the Streak will be gone, but why not take away the two interesting things for the sake of a TRILOGY right? Really fun brawl though and the match they were shooting for last year in New Orleans.

Replays show that Undertaker did in fact tap out in the Kimura when the bell rang, which was due to Lesnar’s shoulders being down for a count, but the referee only got to one. Heyman declares Brock the winner by submission to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show, but this is the problem with having a four hour show the night after a two and a half hour show and the night before a three hour show. I was worn out from hearing Cole and JBL talk about stats and where Summerslam has been held over the years and how big this year’s show was about an hour into this and it just never stopped. That’s draining more than anything else and it’s not a good thing.

Now that being said, the show itself was indeed pretty good. This felt like an old school Summerslam until the last match, with a lot of mini feuds being blown off instead of doing anything major. There was more than enough good wrestling to go around and they’re ready to go into the fall as we get ready for Survivor Series and then Wrestlemania season.

Rollins retaining the title is a good idea as beating Cena is a big stepping stone forward for him. The Stewart stuff I can live with as it gives WWE some publicity, and they can set up some stuff off of the ending as well. The other stories mean it’s time for some new stories though and that’s the best thing that could happen right now. It’s a good show, albeit not very memorable. As I said though, this just didn’t need to be four hours and it really hurt things.

And remember: the first Wrestling Bundle ends at midnight tonight so go check it out!

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/23/sunday-is-the-final-day-for-wrestling-bundle-1/

Results

Sheamus b. Randy Orton – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons – Kingston pinned Fernando after a Clash of the Titus

Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler went to a double countout

Stephen Amell/Neville b. Stardust/King Barrett – Red Arrow to Barrett

Ryback b. Big Show and Miz – Ryback pinned Miz after a KO Punch from Big Show

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – Spear to Wyatt

Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree onto a chair

Team PCB b. Team Bella and Team PCB – Pumphandle slam to Brie Bella

Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Pop Up Powerbomb

Undertaker b. Brock Lesnar – Hell’s Gate

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,205
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The main story here is Brock Lesnar is back, having returned the night after Wrestlemania to start a feud with John Cena. That feud lasted for a month before Lesnar started going after HHH. It wasn’t until three months later, as in tonight, that they’re having their showdown. Other than that we have Punk defending the title against Big Show and Cena and Sheamus defending against Del Rio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

This is one of those ideas that was brought back after far too many years off. Santino is defending and Cesaro has his HORRID dance music here. He also has Aksana who isn’t horrid at all, other than in the ring of course. Cesaro’s word of the day in five languages: greatness. Santino does the power walk to the ring and is as goofy as ever. Cesaro takes it to the mat but Santino actually spins out for two.

A judo throw puts Cesaro down before Santino power walks out of an Irish whip. Must resist country jokes. Santino avoids a charge in the corner and loads up the Cobra but Cesaro takes his head off from behind. The Cobra goes to the floor and Aksana throws it away. Off to a reverse chinlock with Cesaro pulling on Marella’s ears to keep him away from the Cobra. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! I know Foley used one too but it didn’t seem to have magical powers.

Santino kicks Cesaro away but still can’t get the sock. The gutwrench suplex gets no cover from the challenger, as he would rather rip the Cobra to shreds. Santino pounds away but misses the headbutt. He counters the Neutralizer and pulls out another Cobra, proving THAT IT’S JUST A FREAKING SOCK! Aksana gets on the apron and the Cobra wants her, allowing Cesaro to hit the Neutralizer for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. IT’S A FREAKING SOCK! Match was ok but the majority of the five minutes were spent on Santino trying to put a sock on his hand so he can use a neck attack taught to him by John Lovitz. I know he’s a comedy character but there’s a point where it’s stupid rather than funny. Santino half crossed that line years ago.

The opening video talks about the twenty five years of Summerslam, meaning we’ll have to hear about how this is the 25^th anniversary. The video is interrupted by talk of a storm called Brock Lesnar, which to be fair is the main draw of the show.

Jerry and Cole’s intro is cut off by Vickie’s screeching intro of Ziggler.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Dolph is Mr. MITB here and Jericho is freshly face after Ziggler accused him of going soft. Jericho has taped up ribs from an attack at Ziggler’s hands. The fans LOVE Chris and things start fast with the Canadian hitting the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Jericho slips out of the corner on a spinning clothesline but Ziggler escapes a suplex and kicks him in the ribs to take over. Dolph stays on the ribs for a quick two but gets backdropped out to the floor.

Chris’ springboard dive misses as Ziggler casually ducks, sending Jericho crashing to the floor. Ziggler hooks on a chinlock with a bodyscissors to stay on the ribs. A knee to the head gets two for Dolph and a neckbreaker, complete with hip swivel and ARROGANT COVER, gets two more.

Jericho gets a quick cradle for two but Ziggler takes him right back down with a clothesline. Dolph misses a Stinger Splash and Chris goes after him, only to be easily taken down by another shot to the ribs. Not that it matters as he pops up top for the ax handle but Ziggler kicks him in the ribs again. The Fameasser gets two but an enziguri puts Dolph down for two as well. Back and forth match so far here.

Dolph jumps over Chris in the corner and puts on the sleeper which looks horrid here. Jericho rams him into the corner to escape and rains down some right hands before snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. The ribs are damaged even more though, delaying the count by several seconds. A jumping DDT gets two on the Canadian and Ziggler is getting frustrated.

They slug it out with Jericho taking him down via the bulldog but the Lionsault hits knees. The Zig Zag gets two but Dolph can’t follow up. Instead he walks into the Codebreaker to send him to the floor. Jericho throws him in but gets tripped up by Vickie, allowing Ziggler to roll him up for two. Dolph misses a charge into the post and the Walls go on for the submission.

Rating: C+. The idea here was that Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore. The problem here though is they would have a rematch tomorrow night with Jericho’s contract and Dolph’s case on the line. Why they didn’t have that match here is anyone’s guess but at least it was a good opener and the fans popped for the ending. They had some Shelton vs. HBK from 2005 in there with Jericho fighting a younger version of himself but using his maturity and experience to get the win.

Vickie freaks out over the loss.

We recap Brock breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm on Raw.

Heyman and Brock say Lesnar wins tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

It’s amazing that this team started less than a year ago. The fans are already chanting YES and Bryan says NO. It’s amazing how a chant this simple carried Bryan so far. This was set up by GM AJ as revenge against Bryan for jilting her or something. Bryan fires off kicks to start but walks into an uppercut to knock him back. Daniel moonsaults over Kane in the corner but gets kicked in the face to put him down. The low dropkick gets two for Kane but the fans are all behind Daniel.

Another big boot gets two but Bryan comes back with the kicks to the legs, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. Bryan slides back in and hits the FLYING GOAT to put Kane down. The missile dropkick drops Kane again and there are more kicks, only to have Kane clothesline his way out of trouble. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam but Bryan bails to the floor.

Bryan slaps him in the face like a knucklehead, sending Kane through the roof. Bryan is tossed into the corner and stomped down by a furious Kane. The referee drags him away, allowing Bryan to try the NO Lock. Kane powers out so Bryan kicks him in the head. Why overcomplicate things? The flying headbutt is caught in the chokeslam but Kane wants the tombstone, allowing Bryan to counter into a small package for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and you could see the anger management stuff coming. Kane had Bryan beat but wanted revenge and let Bryan catch him off guard. These two obviously had chemistry together and the story would be a big boost to Kane’s career. Also the original idea here was Bryan vs. Charlie Sheen somehow. Thankfully that was never mentioned again.

Kane is going nuts in the back. Josh Matthews comes up to him like the schnook he is and is LAUNCHED off camera in a funny bit.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and Mysterio is dressed like Batman. Rey grabs a quick rollup for two and the champion bails to the floor for a bit. AJ has promised to deal with Kane for attacking Matthews tomorrow on Raw. Miz throws Mysterio through the ropes to the floor but Rey rolls through to avoid pain. The champion sends him ribs first into the barricade to take over as this isn’t doing much for me so far.

Miz pulls on Rey’s face and puts on a chinlock before hitting something resembling Abyss’ Shock Treatment (torture rack backbreaker) for two. A boot to Rey’s head gets two and it’s off to a cravate for a bit. Miz hits the corner clothesline but spends too much time laughing at the crowd, allowing Rey to crotch him on the top.

Rey’s seated senton is rolled through into a slingshot sitout powerbomb for two from Miz. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for the same result and a top rope hurricanrana sends Miz into the 619 position. The kick to the face connects but Rey misses the top rope splash. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a cradle for a hot two count. A second attempt at the Finale works though to retain Miz’s title.

Rating: C-. This took a long time to get going but it had a few nice moments at the end. Both of these guys fell so far in just a year as both guys were fighting for the world title just a year ago. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do much for me. It was one of those matches that came and went and I won’t think about it again an hour from now.

Teddy Long and Eve, the bosses of Smackdown, leave AJ’s office and seem to approve of what she’s doing. They leave and Punk goes in to find a smiling AJ. Punk doesn’t like the idea of being in a triple threat for the title tonight and thinks it’s happening as revenge for him rejecting AJ’s proposal. AJ just stares off into space and Punk accuses her of disrespecting him but she doesn’t move an inch.

We recap Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus. These two feuded FOREVER and Del Rio never did much of anything. He complained about Sheamus not being high class so Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car. Fake cops beat up Sheamus and that’s about it. It’s as boring of a feud as it sounds.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys tumbling out to the floor. Back in and Sheamus hits a quick neckbreaker and the rolling senton for two each. Sheamus puts him on the top rope for a belly to back superplex but Alberto gets onto Sheamus’ shoulder to escape. The buckle pad is pulled off in the process. Del Rio can’t hook the armbreaker so he kicks Sheamus out to the floor instead. Sheamus is sent knee first into the steps as the crowd is DEAD.

Back in and Del Rio hits a flying shoulder block for two before hooking the chinlock. A kick to the head gets two on the champion and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Del Rio mocks Sheamus’ chest pounding before the Brogue Kick, only to have Sheamus ax handle him in the head. Sheamus goes up but a kick to the let puts him down again. A kick to the arm gets two for Alberto and the armbreaker goes on, FINALLY waking the fans up.

Sheamus of course is barely phased by it and rolls onto Del Rio to break the pressure. He picks Alberto up into a kind of powerbomb to break the hold, earning himself a chant from the crowd. White Noise gets two and Sheamus avoids a charge in the corner, setting up the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus pounds down right hands in the corner but gets dropped face first onto the exposed buckle. The enziguri in the corner is good for two so Del Rio yells at Ricardo. Rodriguez throws in a shoe but Sheamus intercepts it to knock Ricardo out cold. The Irish Curse hits for the pin, ignoring Del Rio’s foot being on the rope. REMATCH!

Rating: D+. The match was decent but it never felt like Sheamus was in any real danger. The drop onto the exposed buckle and the enziguri got a near fall, but it didn’t feel like a close near fall; It felt like it was there because this is where we’re supposed to have a dramatic kick out if that makes sense. It’s not bad but this feud didn’t need to continue at all.

We hear about Mike Tyson and Piers Morgan having a Twitter war over the main event. I’ve got nothing.

We get a clip from the pre show where HHH tells the referee that the match isn’t ending on a countout or a DQ.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

I don’t remember Kofi and Truth being champions AT ALL. Truth and Young get us going as the fans chant Kobe Bryant, referencing the joke that got AW fires. Young is taken down by an armdrag and a legdrop gets two for Truth. Truth has to fight out of the corner but gets caught in the face by a big boot for two. Back up and Truth hits a great side kick to take Titus’ head off and get himself a breather. Off to Kofi to speed things up as the crowd still isn’t all that interested.

Kofi chops O’Neil down but a Young distraction lets the challengers take over. Titus clotheslines Kofi down for two before suplexing Young onto Kofi’s back for two. A snap powerslam gets the same for Darren and it’s back to Titus for an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Titus loads up a spinout Rock Bottom, only to be pulled dowin into a DDT. Hot tag brings in Truth to clean house and everything breaks down. Titus is sent to the floor and caught by a Kofi dive, allowing Truth to hit Little Jimmy on Darren to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This could have been on any given Raw. The Players are a decent team but Titus is clearly the star with Young just being there. Kofi and Truth are just transitional champions before HELL NO would take the championships a few weeks later. Nothing to see here other than a filler before we get to the main events.

Video on Summerslam Axxess.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Punk won the title at Survivor Series but got angry over Rock vs. Cena being announced as the main event of Wrestlemania 28 a year in advance. Cena cashed in the MITB case at Raw 1000 but Big Show cost Cena the match. AJ made it a three way for the sake of tormenting Punk (now a heel demanding respect) for turning down her proposal.

Punk’s complaints about how the title should be the focus and how he wasn’t getting respect are why his heel turn didn’t go well: those are logical points and heels aren’t supposed to be logical. WWE failing to get this is the source of a lot of their problems. Heels are supposed to be bullies or maniacal in their delusions, not making thought out rational points.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Show knocks down both smaller guys as Cole talks about Punk not main eventing a show since December despite holding the title the entire time. Good point actually. The LOUD chop hits both Cena and Punk’s chests twice each with Big Show in total control. They finally work together but Show easily suplexes them both down. Cena is crushed in the corner, knocking him out to the floor so it’s Punk vs. Show one on one.

Punk wisely takes out the knee and fires off kicks to the chest as the fans are entirely behind him. The smart moves are canceled out though as Punk tries a GTS with the obvious result. Cena tries an AA but the powers of gravity take him down to the mat, crushing Cena’s head against the mat. Show chops Punk down in the corner and knocks Cena out to the floor. Punk avoids a splash but tries a springboard cross body like a schnook, earning that powerslam he gets.

The Final Cut puts Punk down but Cena breaks up the WMD, earning himself a spear from the giant for two. Show loads up a double Vader Bomb but only hits Cena, allowing Punk to springboard onto Show for the save. Everyone heads to the floor with Big Show chokeslamming Punk against the ropes, sending him back to the floor. Show drops Cena with a side slam but stares at the crowd instead of covering. Maybe someone was holding up a Twinkie?

Cena actually hits a belly to back suplex on Show and loads up the Shuffle, only to have Punk charge in for the save. The champion drops the Macho Elbow for two on Show but gets launched away. Since covering hasn’t worked, Punk puts on a modified Koji Clutch but Show easily powers out. The crowd has DIED for some reason. Cena comes back in and shoulders Show down, bringing them right back to life.

There’s the STF on Show but the big man stands up to break the hold. Punk comes in with a springboard clothesline to take Show down again, followed by three straight knees to the head in the corner. The bulldog is easily countered (of course) but Cena hits the top rope Fameasser to put the giant down.

We get a Koji Clutch/STF combo and Show taps, but we have no clear winner. This brings out AJ (Punk: “DO THE RIGHT THING LIKE SPIKE LEE! LET THE PEOPLE DECIDE! THEY CAN TWEET ABOUT IT!”) who eventually says restart the match, allowing Show to hit a double chokeslam for two on each guy. Cena ducks the WMD and hits the AA, but Punk throws him to the floor and steals the pin to retain.

Rating: C. The match was ok with the logical story but it was nothing we hadn’t seen before. The restart was pretty dumb as well as Big Show shouldn’t have had a chance to win the title after tapping out. Cena vs. Punk would continue for months which would make for some great matches, but this wasn’t anything special. Not bad at all though.

Various B level celebrities are here. Maria Menunos in a Bob Backlund shirt works very well.

Trailer for whatever WWE’s latest movie is at the point. The Day. Ok then.

We recap the pre-show match to fill in time.

Kevin Rudolf sings the theme song.

We recap the main event. Basically Lesnar tried to hold the company hostage by renaming Raw to Monday Night Raw Starring Brock Lesnar. HHH stood up to him and got a broken arm as a result. Brock broke Shawn Michaels’ arm as well to make it a domestic issue for HHH. This was one of those feuds that people weren’t all that thrilled to see but it could have been worse. More on that later.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Every time I watch a Brock Lesnar match I remember how scary of a human being he is. We get spotlights for the big match intros in a cool idea. Remember that HHH told the referee to allow a lot of fighting tonight. Lesnar powers HHH into the corner to start and goes for a standing kimura (arm lock that he used to break the arm) with a jumping body scissors. HHH though is a MAN and powers out of it before clotheslining Brock to the floor. Back in and Brock pounds away, only to be clotheslined to the floor again. You know, because Cena can be in a war with Brock at Extreme Rules but HHH can easily stop him.

Brock comes back in and takes the MMA gloves off before taking HHH down to the mat with an amateur move. They head outside with HHH shrugging off Brock’s attacks and pounding away, only to be dropped arm first onto the announce table. Lesnar eventually drags HHH back in for a hammerlock slam. Back to the standing kimura with Brock wrapping the arm around the ropes and ramming it into the corner.

A release German suplex puts HHH down again but he comes back with a neck snap across the ropes. Brock is taken down by a DDT but he goes right back to the kimura and another hammerlock slam. They head to the floor with the arm going into the steps and the rest of HHH going into the announce table. Brock jumps off the table onto the Game before taking him back inside. Of all things, Lesnar busts out a small package for a one count. A hard clothesline puts HHH down but he blocks a suplex into one of his own to get a breather.

Brock misses a charge into the corner but blocks a Pedigree and throws HHH out to the floor. HHH sends him into the announce table stomach first, which is a weak spot due to some real life past illnesses which ended his UFC career for all intents and purposes. More shots to the stomach have Brock in trouble and a knee to the ribs puts him down. Heyman is losing his mind and Brock is in trouble.

The spinebuster puts Brock down and there’s the Pedigree for two. A low blow puts HHH down and Heyman screams that this was HHH’s idea. The F5 is good for two and Brock is stunned. I have no idea why, as you know you can’t get a win off one finisher in WWE. Now the kimura goes on again with a bodyscissors but a rope break means nothing. Instead HHH pretty easily punches his way out of it and hits another Pedigree. Thankfully Brock no sells it and puts on the kimura, breaking the arm again and drawing the submission.

Rating: C+. The match is ok but it has one major flaw: it’s BORING. You don’t bring in Brock Lesnar to have him go toe to toe with HHH. You bring him in to have him destroy small cities and eat villagers. That’s the issue here. We went from Cena surviving against an insane Brock Lesnar to HHH having Brock in trouble in a dull match. Lesnar didn’t seem insane here at all and it made for a much less interesting match. Also, Cena won with a Hail Mary shot, where as HHH can slug it out with Lesnar? That just doesn’t hold up at all. Somehow this would be the high point, as this feud went on another TEN MONTHS.

Naturally HHH gets the big heroic stand up in the ring, but instead of people giving him a standing ovation they tell him that he tapped out. HHH stands there until people finally applaud him. He apologizes to the fans and slowly walks out. I guess this is supposed to be like Austin at Wrestlemania 13 but it’s just failing. The speculation is that HHH is leaving for good. If you bought that, raise your hand to show how gullible you are.

Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show as most of the matches are ok but nothing goes beyond that level. Most of this show would be classified as ok at best and uninteresting at worst. It’s just kind of there with nothing memorable other than HHH DEMANDING to give us his moment at the end. Nothing to see here and not worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Original: C

Redo: C-

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Original: D

Redo: D+

R-Truth/Kofi Kingston vs. Prime Time Players

Original: C

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. CM Punk vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: C

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C-

It’s still boring.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/19/summerslam-2012-lesnar-is-a-wrestler-again-just-like-everyone-else/

We’re done with Summerslam now. It’s very different from Wrestlemania and that’s a good thing. Wrestlemania is the serious show of the year but Summerslam has a much lighter feeling. It’s called the Biggest Party of the Summer and it feels like that a lot of the time. The main events are usually big enough and the show feels important, but it’s definitely less serious than Mania. That’s a good thing too, as you’re simply not going to out-important Wrestlemania, so why try? It’s a good series, but like any other show there are some BAD years for it.

That’s it for the redos of the major shows. I definitely enjoyed coming back and looking at them again, but this is going to be the last time I do this. It’s a two fold reason: first of all, it takes WAY too much time. I spent eight and a half months doing these combined and it’s going to get even longer every time. At the end of the day I can’t do 100+ redos every few years. It’s just not realistic. The other issue is the same as it is for any show: I’ve covered them. There just isn’t anything left to say about a lot of these shows. I mean, how many times can I talk about a Natural Disasters match? It would get repetitive and that’s not fun.

However, I will be doing the count-ups every year and I’ll redo each year’s previous show for the Big Four each year. Maybe I’ll eventually do these series again, but it’ll be one a year and not all back to back. It just can’t be done and it takes away too much time from other stuff I could be looking at.

Anyway, thanks for checking them out and I’ll have new stuff up soon, probably by the time you’re done reading this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner. We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out. They play it up like it’s his last match. Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

The Miz b. Rey Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Irish Curse

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Young

CM Punk b. John Cena and Big Show – Pinned Show after an AA from Cena

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – Kimura

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2005
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and things are starting to come into shape. The big story coming out of Monday affects Smackdown as well as Kurt Angle agreed to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and left him a bloody mess. Tonight is going to be more about John Cena vs. JBL and that’s what matters more than anything else around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of JBL’s celebration last week with Big Show John Cena breaking it up and wrecking a bunch of stuff.

Here’s Cena for a chat and he gets straight to the point: he’s sick of everything being about JBL. Who throws a party for themselves? JBL was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always had stocks, but a few years ago, Cena was spending his money to sit right out there with the fans. He’s spent all day making a sign to hold up and then spent his money to buy a foam finger or an old school ice cream bars with Doink the Clown on the front.

Last week Cena broke up JBL’s party because he wants to fight and since real recognizes real, these people don’t care about what JBL can buy. They want to see a fight but JBL doesn’t want one. This week, the fighting champion is fighting Orlando Jordan. The sheer apathy from the crowd is jarring. Then JBL can throw another party for himself and get an award for being the biggest b**** in the WWE. It doesn’t matter how long JBL has held the title because it’s all about how many days he has left with the title. At Wrestlemania, Cena is getting the title and that’s that. Fired up promo here, as is often the case with Cena.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Reigns and Jindrak, who got in a brawl last week, are challenging here. Reigns starts and slaps Jindrak’s hand, which isn’t a tag for no logical reason. Some left hands in the corner have Eddie in trouble so it’s off to Jindrak vs. Rey in a hurry. Jindrak and Reigns take turns choking Mysterio on the ropes, followed by Jindrak cranking on both of Rey’s arms at once. Rey gets in the sitout bulldog but Reigns is right there to elbow Rey in the back.

A dropkick to the knee gets Rey a breather but Jindrak gets in a knee from the apron for the save. As tends to be the case, the tag goes through a few seconds later and Eddie gets to clean house. The champs’ ten punches in the corner are broken up so Rey hurricanranas Jindrak over the top. Two Amigos hit Reigns and Rey adds the springboard seated senton. The frog splash retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Perfectly acceptable for a quick opener but that’s all it was going to be. There was no reason to believe that Jindrak and Reigns were going to win the titles here, due to a combination of their issues last week and even WWE isn’t desperate enough to make Jindrak and Reigns champions. Rey and Eddie are good champions and can hold the titles until a better option comes around.

This week, Jindrak drops Reigns with one punch. To be fair, that was a great left hand, even if Cole thinks a straight punch and a hook are the same thing.

The announcers talk about Angle vs. Michaels.

The women talk about Angle attacking Shawn on Raw. Dawn Marie comes up to yell at them and gets a mixed tag with Michelle McCool for later. Dawn: “You’re going to learn who runs this locker room.” I can appreciate the idea of giving them stories, but this is going to be a disaster.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long, who hands him a shovel for his first job. Carlito can shovel snow outside to make sure the parking lot is safe. Keep in mind that Carlito has an arm in a sling. Carlito: “That’s not cool!” Long: “You’re right. That’s COLD!”

Video on Steve Austin in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No Way Out rematch because WWE wants to run off its audience. Booker jumps him at the bell as it’s time for some revenge (remember that Heidenreich hit him with a chair at No Way Out). Heidenreich gets stomped and chopped in the corner, followed by the hook kick to the shoulder. A boot to the face keeps Heidenreich in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor for a change.

Booker gets posted and you can feel the energy going away as Heidenreich takes over. And we were supposed to buy him as a threat to Undertaker for how long? The arm goes around the post and we hit an armbar as Heidenreich goes psychological. Booker fights up and hits some kicks for the comeback but gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Heidenreich tries the chair again so Booker kicks it into his face. A DDT onto the chair disqualifies Booker.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t anything positive. These two are terrible together as Heidenreich is somehow getting worse, to the point where someone as good as Booker can’t even do anything with him. Terrible waste of time here and there’s probably going to be a third.

A Few Good Men Wrestlemania trailer. Still one of the best of the bunch, if not the very best.

Here’s Angle to address the end of Raw. Angle is rather pleased with what he did and we see the rather bloody footage of him attacking Michaels. I mean, it’s in black and white which doesn’t exactly hide what happened, but it is kind of censored. Back in the arena, Angle can’t stop smiling. He thought it would be a fair fight at Wrestlemania but look at how beaten up Shawn is.

Angle was going to break Shawn’s ankle at the Rumble but security stopped him. Then Angle came to Raw and bloodied Shawn on his home turf. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be an even worse beating when Angle proves that he is the best ever. As for tonight, let’s have a Kurt Angle Invitational. Someone comes out in a hoodie with his head covered but Angle doesn’t buy it. The hood comes off to reveal…..not Shawn. Angle: “I knew you weren’t Shawn Michaels!” The cameraman with the fake mustache though? That’s Shawn. The fight is on with Shawn beating up security until even more of them come out to break things up.

During the break, a calm Long had security escort Shawn out of the building, but there are no hard feelings.

Michelle McCool/Big Show vs. Dawn Marie/Rene Dupree

My goodness they managed to make it worse. Rene has a terribly black eye coming in. He’ll probably have it going out but he has it coming in too. The women start things off with Dawn shoving her down and then getting in a slap. Some standing on the hair ensues but just fires Michelle up for a crossbody. Michelle threatens her with the least intimidating right hand ever and gets kicked in the ribs. Dupree comes in for the French Tickler but a Show distraction lets Michelle get in a low blow. That means Show can come in for his own dance and it’s the chokeslam for the easy pin. This is a thing that happened.

Carlito pokes at the snow until a car splashes him with water. Cole: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JACKET ON!”

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame announcement.

Here’s a ticked off JBL for a chat. He wants to know why he deserved to have his celebration ruined last week. The common people around here need a hero like him and have no choice: he is their WWE Champion and they need to listen. They must respect him, especially John Cena, who has made a mockery of the US Title and himself. On the grandest stage of them all, JBL has to step into the ring with a piece of garbage like Cena. He goes on a rant about how his family can have the finest things in the world because they don’t have to be like Cena.

The people here have mamas who drink too much because their fathers leave. Now the people want to be like Cena and rhyme or put a ball in a hoop. They want him to provide them with a job but he can only have so many drivers, doormen and gardeners. The people are too stupid to recognize greatness and chant his name so he demands their respect. If he doesn’t receive the respect he deserves, he will walk out of this place right now. JBL does in fact leave and goes to the back, where he tells Orlando Jordan to win the title or be sent back to the hood.

This was an outstanding promo with JBL continuing to be a great talker throughout the last few months. He’s awesome at the comedy stuff but the serious promos were some outstanding ones as well. These things really did come off like he thought he was better than everyone else and that these people who supported Cena were beneath him. I wanted to see someone come out and shut him up, which is a pretty hard thing to pull off.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Rey and says that Eddie is waiting to turn on Rey. That seems to get inside Rey’s head.

Big Show and Joy Giovanni are in the back when Funaki comes up. He’s VERY excited because Akebono has challenged Big Show for Wrestlemania. Big Show doesn’t care what kind of a match it is because he’s in.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper at Wrestlemania III.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is defending. A quick rollup gives Cena two but Jordan actually gets in a headlock takeover. Cena isn’t having that and plants Jordan for the Shuffle as we take a break. Back with Jordan fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down into the corner. Cena: “I HAVE UNTIL FIVE!” The chinlock goes on again but Jordan pokes him in the eye and gets two with his feet on the ropes. You don’t do that to Cena, who pounds down right hands in the corner (without using his left hand to make for a weird visual).

Jordan drops him face first onto the buckle for the break and some near falls. An elbow to the face gets two and Jordan grabs his own chinlock. This one is broken up with a belly to back suplex and they’re both down. The referee checks on Cena so Jordan grabs the chain, which is knocked out of his hands just as fast. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU, but here are the Bashams, who left with JBL earlier. JBL is here as well as Cena beats up the Bashams and it’s a belt shot to give Jordan the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Jordan has absolutely nothing but that’s what makes him the right choice to take the title from Cena. There is no one on the roster who can realistically hang with Cena so having a loser steal the title from him was a good way to go. Jordan isn’t going to feel like a real champion so having him be the lame version of the Honky Tonk Man works as well as anything else. Throw in JBL stealing the title from Cena and it’s even better.

Cole is FURIOUS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was bad. JBL’s promo and the Angle/Shawn segment were both good but they were never going to be able to overcome everything else. They kept hyping up that we’re a month from Wrestlemania and we’re watching Booker T. vs. Heidenreich and Michelle McCool’s debut match? They’re teasing Rey vs. Eddie but I need something more than Big Show vs. Akebono. I know they have a few more weeks, but they’re taking their sweet time with adding some of the big stuff. We’re officially at four matches and while there is still time, there isn’t that much time. Pick it up a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6