Monday Night Raw
Date: January 29, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,449
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So I just did the Smackdown from the week before so now we’ll see the followup for the sake of continuity. We’re coming off the Royal Rumble and on the way to No Way Out, meaning Steve Austin vs. HHH/Vince McMahon is currently the top story. That’s not the worst place in the world to be and this is a pretty strong time for the company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s hometown hero and WWF Champion Kurt Angle to open things up. Angle brags about being the most valuable sperm donor in town, Angle shows us a clip from last year where he declared himself Pittsburgh’s hometown hero in this very arena. He even told Mario Lemieux to come back to the Pittsburgh Penguins, which Lemieux did in the year in between. You can imagine the gloating off that one, but Angle would rather talk about tonight’s fatal four way for a title shot this week on Smackdown.

Angle omits the Rock from the list of participants so here’s Rock to interrupt. Rock didn’t like being left out so he’s here to set things straight. First of all, Rock doesn’t quite agree with Angle taking credit for Lemieux return, leading to a string of various swearing and insults. With the mean things out of the way, Rock has some footage of his own, which suggests that Angle likes….pizza. Angle freaks out and Rock shows us a local pizza ad from a few years ago with Angle watching pizza toppings wrestle. Ok yeah it’s goofy, but Rock was in a series of Chef Boyardee commercials in 1999 with the jingle Gettin Cheffy With It.

Back in the arena, Rock asks about Angle saying it doesn’t matter who is in the four way, setting up the IT DOESN’T MATTER what doesn’t matter line. Rock promises to win tonight and then take the title on Thursday but here’s Big Show (also in the four way) to jump Rock from behind. Angle is very pleased as Show hits a big clothesline, but a point from Show makes the nerves go right back up.

The XFL is coming in five days. On my birthday no less.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Edge and Christian

The Dudleys are defending but Edge and Christian come out in street clothes. As I try to figure out what street they could possibly be from, Christian says Edge is sick with food poisoning he got last week at Smackdown. He even has a note from a “real professional doctor.” They have replacements though.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kaientai

The Dudleys are still defending and Kaientai promise to win by the power of Grayskull. Edge and Christian sit in on commentary (JR: “Oh goody. Hot dog.) as D-Von sends Funaki face first into the top turnbuckle. Bubba punches Taka in the face as we look at commentary for a rather annoying trope. D-Von drops his good looking legdrop for two on Funaki as Edge and Christian insist that they are NOT scared of the Dudleys.

The reverse inverted DDT slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Bubba to clean house, despite the team being firmly in control before the tag. What’s Up hits Funaki and it’s an electric chair drop into a neckbreaker (that’s a new one) to Taka. That’s enough to draw Edge in for a spear on D-Von and the Canadians bail. Funaki gets the least intriguing near fall in a long time and it’s the 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Well they tried, though it wasn’t the most thrilling match any way you looked at it. There is only so much you can do to make me believe that Kaientai is a real threat to the Dudleys and the titles so this was about as good as it was going to get. If nothing else, Edge and Christian vs. the Dudleys will be great, as always.

Vince promises a match tonight for the #1 contendership when HHH and Stephanie storm in with an attorney named Brian Gerwitz (ha). HHH is worried about the contract signing but Vince has it covered.

Rock left the medic’s room earlier after refusing treatment.

Billy Gunn is worried about Chyna but wants her to get better and move forward with everything else going on in her life.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

The Right To Censor is trying to get rid of Steve’s weapons. Therefore, Blackman has a full bag of them. Blackman strikes away to start until a belly to back suplex gets Venis out of trouble. Steven Richards gets in a few cheap shots on the floor because that’s what he’s supposed to do in a match.

There’s a whip into the steps to make it worse for Blackman as this is almost one sided so far. Back in and we hit the chinlock with Ivory shouting that violence is unacceptable. Blackman fights up and kicks him in the ribs, setting up a snap suplex for a breather. The comeback is shortlived though as Richards gets in a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Venis to get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. There’s an idea to the Right To Censor but at the same time there was only so much that could be done when their biggest star was either the Goodfather or Venis. Struggling to beat Steve Blackman isn’t a good sign either and the lack of a top star was a reason why the team never went anywhere. That and the fact that they weren’t supposed to.

Post match Blackman clotheslines Venis and beats up Richards. Bull Buchanan runs in for the save but Hardcore Holly makes the real save with some weapons. He throws Blackman some nunchucks and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Holly and Blackman tease a fight but agree to settle it over a warm cup of tea instead.

Tough Enough video submissions, including Josh Lomberger (Matthews).

Vince is on the phone with someone who is recovering and suggests massages. William Regal comes in with a cup of tea because it can relieve Vince’s stress. Vince seems pleasantly surprised.

Video on HHH vs. Steve Austin. HHH was revealed as the mastermind behind Austin being run over by a car back in 1999 and then cost him the WWF Title. Austin cost him the title at the Royal Rumble and then won the Rumble later in the night. They need one more match, and they’ll do that at No Way Out.

HHH rants about how he can’t trust anyone in this.

Austin says he’ll sign and he’ll even do it first.

Here’s Vince to emcee the contract signing. Vince talks about the hatred between the two and says the stipulations for the match are to be determined. However, there can be no violence between the two of them until No Way Out, unless it is in a sanctioned match. If HHH attacks Austin, he is suspended for six months. If Austin attacks HHH, he loses his WWF Title match at Wrestlemania.

HHH (with Stephanie and attorney) and Austin both come out and sit down as the fans are rather mean to Stephanie. Hold on though as Austin needs some beer. They stare each other down and Austin signs without saying anything. HHH’s attorney has to read the contract again and there’s something that HHH doesn’t like. We pause for some reading and Austin isn’t happy.

HHH signs….and hits Austin in the head with the metal briefcase. The beatdown is on as everyone is freaking out about the suspension. The Pedigree lays Austin out and Vince tells HHH that he’s been suspended for six months. Actually that’s not true…..because HHH didn’t actually sign. NOW he signs and gets in a gem with “Paragraph 3:16 says you can’t touch me.” I’ve always liked this segment.

The XFL is coming in five days.

Post break, here’s what you just saw before the break.

HHH and Stephanie left during the break but did make sure to pop out of the sunroof for some bragging.

APA vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Right To Censor

The winners get a title shot on Smackdown and that would be Buchanan and Goodfather for the RTC. It’s a brawl to start before the RTC even gets here with Jacqueline and Lita fighting on the ramp. With that broken up, the RTC comes in and it’s Buchanan attacking Matt to start. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Jeff missing the Whisper in the Wind. Bradshaw Clotheslines Buchanan with Goodfather making a save. That’s enough to allow Jeff to drop the Swanton for the pin and the title shot in a hurry.

Rock confirms that he will be in the four way because all Show did was tick him off. Payback is guaranteed.

Big Show laughs.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Crash

Crash is challenging and has Molly Holly in his corner. Raven brings his shopping cart full of weapons and uses it to knock Crash off the ramp. A tricycle toss misses Crash and they’re already in the crowd. Crash dives off the balcony with an ax handle and catapults Raven into a sign. They head into the concourse with JR and King using the time to plug the XFL. Raven throws a mop bucket at him and gets sent into a wall for his efforts.

Some kind of cart crushes Raven against the wall and Crash dives through the cart to take him down again. They head outside for a bulldog onto a park bench but Raven kicks Molly away before she can crotch him against a tree. Crash does it on his own but a masked woman jumps out of a car and saves Raven. Molly goes after her and gets thrown down, allowing the masked woman to hit Crash in the back so Raven can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was pretty entertaining for a hardcore match as they were trying out there. You can only get so far in a match like this if you just hit each other with stuff so going out of the ring and trying something new is the way to go. The tree part was funny and the kind of thing you need some creativity to do and it worked out well here.

Raven and the woman (never revealed but I believe it was going to be Tori) drive off.

Chris Benoit isn’t worried about the four way.

Undertaker vs. Haku

Kane and Rikishi are here as seconds. They waste no time in slugging it out with Undertaker hitting a big boot into the legdrop for two. Old School already connects but Undertaker goes outside to beat up Rikishi. The distraction lets Haku get in a few shots and “slam” Undertaker down by the head (Haku seemed to lose the grip and Undertaker fell by himself). Back up and the jumping clothesline puts Haku down again and the jumping DDT has more effect than you might expect. Rikishi and Kane get in a fight on the floor to break up the Tombstone….so Undertaker hits a chokeslam to win a few seconds later instead.

Rating: D. Just a bunch of hitting each other until the finish here, which isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Then again, the Brothers of Destruction against Rikishi and Haku isn’t the most interesting match either. Rikishi isn’t an imposing main eventer and Undertaker just beat Haku in four minutes. Where is the threat here?

Post match Rikishi chairs Undertaker in the head to bust him open but he’s right back up to clear the ring with Kane’s help.

Post break Undertaker thinks there is too much talking going on so now it’s time to fight. Let’s have a First Blood match on Smackdown. Undertaker: “I like to bleed. It turns me on!”

Dean Malenko, a real ladies’ man, is at WWF New York and can’t stand being away from Lita much longer. They’ll be back together real soon and the Hardys won’t come between them again.

Lita vs. Jacqueline

Ivory is on commentary as the winner faces her on Smackdown. They start fast with a Cactus Clothesline putting them both on the floor as Ivory accuses JR of fantasizing about him. Apparently big JR fans, Jacqueline and Lita dive onto Ivory and the match is thrown out in a hurry. Lita’s music plays but she didn’t seem to win.

We look at the contract signing again, with HHH apparently only signing one H before attacking Austin. That might be stretching the legal definition of not signing. One thing I always appreciate: they keep saying February 25 as the date of the show. Not “four weeks from now” or “at No Way Out”. It’s a definitive date so you know when the show is taking place. Why is that so much to ask?

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Big Show vs. The Rock

The winner gets Angle, on commentary here, on Thursday. During his entrance, we see the pizza commercial again for a funny bit. Before the match, Jericho mocks Angle’s commercial, saying it has made him hungry for the title. Benoit and Jericho slug it out before the other two come to the ring, interrupting Lilian Garcia in the process. Show breaks it up so here’s Rock…who charges into a one armed chokeslam.

Benoit breaks up the cover but Show is right there to beat up everyone else. Jericho’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air but Benoit comes in to cut Show down. Rock comes back in for his clotheslines and Show gets tossed outside. That’s fine with Benoit, who snaps off a German suplex to Rock. The Swan Dive only hits mat and Rock’s Samoan drop gets two.

Show comes back in and gets DDTed but Rock has to go outside to deal with Jericho. Rock comes back in to break up the Crossface and the Lionsault hits Benoit for two. Jericho tries the Walls on Rock but Show grabs him by the throat. Benoit kicks Show low and the Canadians send Show outside, leaving Rock to Rock Bottom Benoit for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B. That was a very fast match but they packed a lot into it and didn’t bother wasting time. Why bother doing anything more than exactly what the fans want to see here? There’s no need to build it up as anything more than what it was: four people giving it all they had to become the #1 contender, which is what you should be trying to do almost all the time.

Angle tells Rock to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It continues to amaze me how much easier these old shows are to watch. There’s an energy to them and they get through things so quickly without having the show drag. That and there’s not a ton of comedy to them. Not everything needs to have some kind of a joke included and they realized that here. It’s an entertaining show that made me want to see more, with the contract signing even having a good twist included. Well done, and it wasn’t even that great of a show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2004
Date: December 12, 2004
Location: Gwinnett Center, Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final, and normally least inspired, pay per view of the year and this time around it’s all about JBL to make things even less interesting. Tonight JBL is defending the title against Undertaker, Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. in a four way, which takes away a lot of the talent from the rest of the card. Other than that we have….I guess the other big match is the Tough Enough boxing match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses entirely on the main event, which really is all that matters on this show.

Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio vs. Rene Dupree/Kenzo Suzuki

Rob and Rey are defending after winning the titles earlier this week. Kenzo headscissors Rob down to start so it’s a bunch of flips to get us to a standoff. The (first of many) kick to the face drops Kenzo and it’s the 420 for two with Cole again explaining it as fast as he can. He does add in “of course” before the explanation, because it’s the ONLY possible meaning. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner and it’s the challengers taking over for the first time. Rene comes in and gets cocky so Rey picks up the pace but a Kenzo distraction cuts that off.

That earns Kenzo a springboard kick from Rob, knocking him into a powerbomb to the floor from Rey. The spinning kick to the back hits Rene in the back but he’s right back with a good looking dropkick to the face. Rob shrugs that off and catapults Rene into a springboard seated senton, which barely connects and didn’t look very good as a result. Kenzo gets in a kick of his own and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long either as Rob kicks his way out and brings Rey in.

This time it’s Hiroko offering a distraction so Rene can get in a neck snap across the top. Cue Torrie to chase Hiroko off, leaving Kenzo to drop a knee for two on Rey. An armbar starts in on Rey’s arm and Rene adds a dropkick to the shoulder. Normally it would make more sense to go after Rey’s knee but at least there’s an idea. Rene’s powerbomb is broken up and Rey dives for the tag but Rene stops it with ease. The villains cut the ring off again with Kenzo hitting a running clothesline for two.

We now pause for the French Tickler, with Kenzo adding his own while on the apron. The dancing takes too long (as always) and Rene goes shoulder first into the post, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam. Everything breaks down and the Chalupa Roll (slingshot legdrop/Rolling Thunder) gets two on Rene with Kenzo making the save. A sloppy looking crossbody gets the same on Rene with Kenzo saving again. Rey is fine enough to hit the double 619 and the Five Star to Rene retains the titles.

Rating: B-. Not too bad here as the chemistry continues. They got some extra time here to make things that much better, as Kenzo and Rene had some good, old school styling. Rob and Rey winning the titles here would have been a nice moment but it’s not like it’s that big of a problem one way or another. Good opener, though there was some sloppiness to overcome.

Daniel Puder promises to make Mike Mizanin feel the two true pains: his right and his left. He says Mike over and over again and stumbles a few times, but the intensity helps.

Here’s Kurt Angle for a bonus Kurt Angle Invitational before his scheduled match later tonight. Angle has found a perfect challenger, who is admired by millions and takes his job very seriously. Ladies and gentlemen, SANTA CLAUS!!! Santa throws out candy to the fans but Angle says he needs to get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves. Kurt doesn’t like him though because his daughter only wants to write letters to Santa instead of talking to him. Tonight, Santa is tapping out.

Kurt Angle vs. Santa Claus

Angle Slam and ankle lock for the win in 45 seconds. I bet he gets Cole for Christmas.

Mizanin says he’s never been an underdog and he won’t look stupid tonight. The underdog is going to have some bite tonight. It’s not much of a promo but the last two he’s had have had a point to them and he’s stuck with it so he’s learning.

Long recap of the entire Tough Enough contest so far.

Daniel Puder vs. Mike Mizanin

This is a boxing match with three one minute rounds and Al Snow on commentary. Theodore Long comes out for a long introduction and we actually have boxing commission representatives and a state issued referee because this is apparently serious. They both go nuts with punches with Miz (thank goodness that name is officially used now and I don’t have to go back and change it every time) throwing wildly and Puder showing what is likely some boxing training for MMA. Puder slips a bit and goes down to a knee with neither being a definitive winner.

Tazz actually brings up the Brawl For All between the rounds, likely earning himself a fine. The second round is a lot more subdued as they’re both winded. Puder gets in a clear rabbit punch and a few good shots have Miz staggered to end the round. The fans are loudly booing now as round three starts and they slug it out again with Puder getting the better of it to wrap things up. Puder wins on a fan decision, which is the right call as he won the second and third rounds. This was awful in case that wasn’t clear.

Post match Miz says Puder has a great overhand right. Puder says this isn’t his fight and he’s all about breaking arms.

Eddie Guerrero and Booker T. want to hurt JBL tonight and take the title. They both think they could beat each other but they each find the other’s idea hilarious. Eddie remembers that they have to deal with Undertaker though and they agree to team up against the other two. Undertaker comes in, stares at both of them, and keeps walking. You don’t see Undertaker in these segments very often and it felt out of place for him.

Basham Brothers vs. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Bonus match because only a handful of matches got any kind of proper build on this show. Holly headlocks Doug to start and hits some chops in the corner, followed by some general stomping. It’s off to Haas, who gets sent into the corner so the Bashams can take over. That lasts all of three seconds until Haas armdrags Danny down, only to get kicked in the back. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Danny punches him in the face for two.

An exploder suplex gets Haas out of trouble and it’s Holly coming in with a top rope clothesline. Cue Dawn Marie to check on Charlie, drawing out Jackie Gayda to yell. As Charlie’s life continues to crumble around him (I feel so sorry over a professional wrestler having two gorgeous women fighting over him), Doug gets the worst small package I’ve ever see (it didn’t go down smoothly and Holly’s shoulders were so far off the mat I couldn’t tell who was covering whom) for the pin.

Rating: D-. It’s a really bad sign when a show needs this kind of filler to break the two and a half hour mark. This was awful and would have been bad anywhere, even as a middle of the show match on Velocity. The Bashams aren’t the worst team in the world but they’re involved with the World Champion and needed the love triangle to beat Holly and Haas. Just bad all around.

We recap John Cena vs. Jesus. Cena lost the US Title to Carlito and was then stabbed in a club later that night. Then he came back and destroyed the injured Carlito to win the title back. Tonight Cena gets to beat up Jesus, who is likely the person who stabbed him. This was Cena’s launch up to the next level as he was suddenly this main event level monster with a fire in his eyes and you knew it was a matter of time before he took over the show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Jesus

Cena is defending and it’s a street fight with falls counting anywhere. Just to rub in the awful of this show, Cena debuts the spinner US Title design which would beget the most annoying title in wrestling history. Jesus, still carrying Cena’s chain, and Carlito mock Cena’s kidney injury because they’re not that bright. Cena starts before the bell and hits one of the longest strings of punches I can remember to knock Jesus silly early on.

Carlito slips Jesus a kendo stick for a shot to the bad kidney but Cena takes it away and beats on Jesus even more. The stick is broken over Jesus’ arm and Cena glares Carlito up the ramp. A busted open Jesus is kicked into the crowd and Cena knocks him around the arena as this is completely one sided. Carlito runs back in for a cheap shot to save Jesus from being thrown off a balcony but Cena doesn’t seem to mind. The beating takes Jesus back to ringside and some metal shots to the head make things even worse. The FU finishes Jesus in a complete squash.

Rating: D. This was a squash that just happened to go about eight minutes. It was smart to have Cena pushed this hard because it’s not like anyone was buying Jesus as a threat to the title at all. After a performance like that, there is no way you can hold him back from the main event much longer and I think WWE knows it. This was it for Jesus too, as there wasn’t much you could do with him at the moment without a big repackaging.

Jackie promises to finish Dawn once and for all tonight. Charlie is sick of this but puts on his referee shirt anyway. She promises to make it up to him tonight, which calms him down a bit. Charlie makes sure she takes her engagement ring off and puts it in his pocket.

Dawn Marie vs. Jackie Gayda

Charlie comes out with Jackie, just in case you were expecting impartiality. They trade slaps to start and then slug it out. Dawn gets the better of it and sends her into the buckle, followed by the rolling over the referee spot. A rollup with tights gives Dawn the pin.

Post match Charlie admits to the affair and ends the engagement. Jackie is too much like a dead wet fish in various ways but Dawn is like Atlanta on the 4^th of July. Charlie pulls out the engagement ring and drops to a knee for a question. Charlie: “Dawn, why are you such a s***?” He wouldn’t marry either of them and walks out.

Hey remember the Diva Search? Well now you can see a pay per view highlight package of the whole thing!

Joy Giovanni kisses Big Show for good luck. It’s quite the relationship, having gone for like two and a half weeks now.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle/Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns

Cole: “Here comes the man who earlier tonight made Santa Claus tap out.” This is the latest blowoff to the Angle vs. Show feud from the fall, which included Angle shooting him with a tranquilizer dart and shaving his head. Jindrak starts for the team but hang on as we need to look at his bicep. As the announcers debate whether Cole was in a bodybuilding competition or the Ziegfeld Follies, Show takes Jindrak into the corner for the overhand chop.

Angle comes in instead and is shoved right back away, meaning here’s Reigns for the first time. That’s not enough for Show, who pulls Jindrak in for a bonus. An Angle cheap shot gets Show caught up in the ropes and some kicks to the ribs keep him down. As expected, it’s Reigns and Jindrak doing most of the work, including a double suplex to give Jindrak two.

Angle comes back in for the reverse chinlock with a knee in Show’s back, followed by a choke over the bottom rope. Now it’s Jindrak with his own reverse chinlock until Show powers up and cleans house. The Alley Oop drops Jindrak and reigns is tossed to the floor but Angle gets in the Slam. The ankle lock is broken up in a hurry so Angle goes for the steps, which are kicked into his face. An F5 of all things finishes Jindrak.

Rating: D+. This felt like a Smackdown main event so it could have been a lot worse. The good thing is that there is nowhere else for the feud to go, meaning we should be done now that this match is over. The match wasn’t very good, but Show is pretty clearly next in line for a title shot after three major pay per view wins in a row.

Video on last year’s Tribute to the Troops. This year’s edition is in less than two weeks.

Funaki interviews himself about his Cruiserweight Title shot. Cruiserweight Champion Spike Dudley comes in to call this pathetic and says Funaki will never be champion. Funaki doesn’t seem to agree.

Cruiserweight Title: Funaki vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending after Funaki won a battle royal earlier this week. Feeling out process to start with Funaki taking it to the mat for some early frustration. Some rollups give Funaki two each as Tazz makes small package jokes about Cole. A little cranking on Spike’s arm sends him to the floor for a baseball slide as Spike can’t get anything going so far. Back in and they fight over a superplex to the floor until a release gordbuster drops Funaki to the floor this time.

It’s time to start in on the ribs with Spike grabbing an abdominal stretch with Funaki’s knee down on the mat. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Funaki in trouble until he sends Spike into the corner for the break. Funaki’s high crossbody gets two so Spike tries the Dudley Dog, which is reverses into a jackknife cover to give Funaki the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Not too bad here, even if it was in the spot where no one was going to care about the thing. There’s only so much you can do for a Spike vs. Funaki match and everyone knew that. At least they got the title off of Spike, who wasn’t a bad champion but his time had come and gone. Now that being said, he’s a better option than Funaki, who feels as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

We recap the World Title match. JBL has cheated his way to retaining the title over all three challengers so tonight he has to face them all at once. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the only match that has gotten a major push on TV. How often do you see a multi man match with everyone from the same state in a national promotion?

The Cabinet gives JBL a subdued pep talk as he looks like he’s walking to the gallows.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T. vs. Undertaker

JBL is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The Cabinet is barred from ringside and if they interfere, JBL is stripped of the title. But if they help him win, doesn’t he just get the title back a few minutes later? If nothing else JBL is selling the heck out of his terror. JBL lets the other three beat each other up to start and it’s Undertaker booting Booker in the face so JBL can steal a near fall. No one is happy with that so it’s time to pinball him around between all three challengers at once.

With JBL down, Undertaker gets stomped in the corner, much to the fans’ annoyance. Undertaker gets knocked to the floor so it’s JBL getting double teamed for a change. As usual though, Booker gets annoyed at Eddie for going for a cover, allowing JBL to grab his own near fall. Undertaker comes back in and starts wrecking things so everyone heads outside. JBL loads up the announcers’ table but Undertaker backdrops him before anything can happen. Undertaker stalks Eddie back inside for a match I could have gone for in a much longer form.

Another backdrop gives Undertaker two and it’s Booker taking Eddie’s place. The running big boot in the corner misses so JBL comes in to beat on Booker. Choking on the ropes has Eddie and Undertaker in trouble but Undertaker is up with a spinebuster to cut Booker off. Old School and the Downward Spiral give Undertaker two with Eddie making the save so Undertaker launches him over the top with some raw power.

There’s the apron legdrop but JBL runs Undertaker over on the floor. Back in and JBL chokes Booker with some tape as Eddie pulls out a rather unnecessary ladder. After that takes Undertaker out, JBL grabs the title but Booker starts cleaning house with kicks to the face and head. The ax kick gets two on Eddie and Booker’s NO WAY face is great. It’s back to the floor with JBL badly powerbombing Booker onto the announcers’ table and then elbowing him through it.

The Last Ride puts JBL through the other table, leaving Eddie to play dead in the ring. The chokeslam connects and it’s time for the Last Ride but Eddie gets in a belt shot to the head. A pair of frog splashes gets two and now it’s Eddie’s turn to be terrified. With wrestling not working, Eddie brings in the ladder for a mega frog splash but his own knee is banged up so it’s a delayed two with JBL pulling the referee out.

The ladder to the face puts Undertaker on the floor and Eddie sends a charging JBL into it for a bonus. Three Amigos keep JBL in trouble but this time it’s Booker making the save. Undertaker is back in with Snake Eyes and the big boot for two on Eddie with Booker breaking it up again. Chokeslams hit everyone but Undertaker…but Heidenreich runs in to break up the Tombstone on JBL. Heidenreich chokes Undertaker out on the floor as JBL covers Eddie and Booker for two each. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Booker to retain.

Rating: B. They were working out there and the match didn’t feel as long as it was, but the JBL title reign has lost its charm in a hurry. It’s becoming more and more clear that we’re not getting out of this anytime soon and seeing him get beaten up so often but escaping with the title is rather tiring. It’s the same thing we had to see from HHH for years and the Cabinet is no Evolution.

Cole: “This could be the beginning of a long title reign for JBL!” He’s been champion five and a half months!

Overall Rating: D. There are far worse shows but there was no hiding how unimportant this show was. We’re just waiting on the Rumble at this point because both brands are dying for some fresh blood. Unfortunately that means a long wait and stuff like Dawn vs. Jackie, the Tough Enough boxing match and that lame Bashams tag match to get through first. There is some good stuff on here, but it’s certainly not worth watching the rest of the show to get to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: November 11, 2004
Location: American Bank Arena, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and hopefully this show is a little more inspiring than Monday’s efforts. Survivor Series isn’t looking like the most thrilling show in the world but under the right circumstances, Smackdown’s half could be a little bit better. Hopefully this week features a little less Tough Enough, but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

As promised last week, we open with the Tough Enough guys waiting for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test. Two women from the Tonight Show are here to call the action, but first Al Snow needs to give Chris Nawrocki a chance to quit due to having a broken rib. He says no so it’s time to announce the first cut: Nick Mitchell, who was dressed as a cowboy for the Sex Test, complete with the pockets cut out of the back of his jeans with nothing underneath.

With that out of the way, here’s Torrie with a riding crop. Mizanin, in a Santa hat and Santa boxer shorts, holds the ropes open for her. Each one of them has fifteen seconds to make out with a WWE Diva, who will then pick the winner for a very special surprise. Torrie brings out Dawn Marie (in very little clothing) as I hope people aren’t falling for this so far. And yeah, Torrie brings out Mae Young for the least surprising surprise ever.

Puder goes first and gets pulled down as the Tonight Show women offer absolutely nothing. Mae jumps into Justice’s arms and gets spanked, sending Tazz into hysterics. Rodimer wants a peck and gets taken down to the mat. Reeves gets the same but winds up on top of Mae.

Mizanin has condoms and gets on the mat as well, where he spanks Mae a bit. She chokes him for an image I never needed to see. Nawrocki goes last and lays down slowly with Mae kind of laying on him. Puder wins and gets a lap dance from Mae. In case you didn’t get the joke clearly enough earlier. This took over fifteen minutes for the same Mae Young joke over and over and over.

Chavo Guerrero yells at his old friend when Rey Mysterio comes in. It’s nothing to worry about.

Spike Dudley/Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio

Kidman offers an early distraction so Spike can jump Chavo to start. That doesn’t go well for Spike as it’s already off to Rey for the quick legdrop. Spike sends him into the corner though and it’s off to Kidman for the first time. The top rope hurricanrana takes Kidman down and Chavo comes in for the long awaited revenge.

Spike cuts him off though and the heels take over on Chavo this time. A whip into the barricade sets up a chinlock with a knee in Chavo’s back as the pace slows. Back up and Kidman clotheslines Spike by mistake, allowing Chavo to suplex Kidman onto him. The hot tag brings in Rey and it’s a springboard seated senton to Chavo. The basement dropkick hits Spike as everything breaks down. Chavo dives onto Kidman and it’s the springboard splash to give Rey the pin on Spike.

Rating: C. Pretty run of the mill match here as it’s all but guaranteed that Mysterio isn’t winning the title on Sunday. Spike isn’t exactly inspiring as champion but it’s not like there are any other fresh options at the moment. We’ve seen Rey and Chavo with the title so many times now and it’s becoming more and more clear that this division doesn’t offer much at all.

Orlando Jordan comes up to Josh Matthews to offer an apology. Josh looks scared as Jordan talks about not taking him seriously, even though Josh was a Tough Enough finalist. Jordan has to make him shake his hand and slaps Josh for the lack of respect. My goodness we’re still going with this?

Post break Booker T. brings the bloody Josh to Theodore Long’s office where Josh says he wants Jordan tonight. Oh and he wants Booker in his corner too. The match is made.

Team Guerrero is ready for their matches tonight, even though Eddie doesn’t have a fourth member yet. Eddie looks a little nervous but he’s fine in Texas.

Raw Rebound.

Orlando Jordan vs. Josh Matthews

Cole: “I can’t believe this is happening.” Preach it brother. Jordan is as cocky as he should be and puts an attacking Josh on top without much effort. A high crossbody is blocked as well so Josh scores with a dropkick to the back for some more luck. Some rollups get two each and it’s time to head outside for the four way staredown.

Back in and JBL trips Josh as the referee yells at Booker, sending Cole completely over the edge. The chinlock doesn’t last long but we stop so Booker can superkick JBL. Now the high crossbody gives Josh two as JBL gets up on the apron. That’s enough of a distraction so Josh can hit Jordan low, setting up Booker’s ax kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. What is this supposed to accomplish? Booker is costing JBL’s loser lackey matches to a commentator. How does that make me want to see the title match any more? The match was terrible because Jordan is awful and Josh isn’t a wrestler. What were they expecting from this one? At least it wasn’t all that long.

Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rob Van Dam

Hold on though as here are Carlito and Jesus to do commentary. Jindrak kicks Van Dam in the corner to start and the split legged moonsault misses. It’s off to Reigns for stomps in the same corner and this one goes a little better for Rob, with a few kicks putting Reigns down for a change. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo to take over but a Jindrak distraction breaks up the Three Amigos.

Back from a break so abrupt that Cole can’t finish his “this match will continue” with Carlito having spat apple on him. Eddie fights out of a chinlock and nails a flapjack but stops to yell at Carlito. Reigns uses the distraction to jump Van Dam and the villains take over again. The chinlock goes on before Jindrak and Reigns take turns stomping.

Rob slips out of a powerslam and brings in Eddie for the headscissors to Jindrak. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits Three Amigos on Reigns as Rolling Thunder hits Jindrak. Carlito gets dropkicked off the apron but Rob misses a dive. With the referee distracted, Eddie hits the apron with a chair and throws it to Jesus so Carlito and Jesus are gone. Back in and stereo frog splashes give Eddie and Rob the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and played up the idea that Team Eddie is in a bit of trouble due to being down a member. Then again, is it really any secret about who the last member is going to be? And are Jindrak and Reigns combined equal to any member of Team Eddie? This is a pretty one sided match on paper and watching Eddie and Rob vs. two goons wasn’t the most inspiring build.

Post match Eddie announces the pretty obvious: John Cena is the fourth member of the team.

Post break Carlito yells at Long about what happened but Theodore doesn’t want to hear it because Jesus was in the same club that night. Cena is going to be in the ring at Survivor Series and Carlito has to get over it.

Recap of the Tough Enough shenanigans earlier tonight.

How to vote for the Tough Enough guys.

JBL rants about getting out of Texas because he wanted a better life. The only reason Booker T. was the WCW World Champion was because JBL wasn’t in WCW. JBL isn’t losing and if by some miracle he does, he’s out of WWE. He lists off everything that he’s gone through as champion and isn’t losing on Sunday. Instead, he’ll be putting Booker through more than Booker ever thought possible because that’s what JBL does. Having JBL do the big promo for the title match probably isn’t the right idea.

We look back at Heidenreich attacking Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas last week.

Here’s Paul Heyman to yell at Michael Cole, calling him a JR wannabe. Tazz is tired of this and takes the glasses off as Heidenreich is in the ring. There go the lights though and it’s Undertaker staring Heidenreich down…until Heyman breaks it up. Undertaker looks bored staring at Heidenreich and it’s not like you can blame him.

Survivor Series rundown.

Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is out with Kurt, who says that Team Eddie has no chance because no one ca beat him. Team Eddie comes out to even things up and we take a break. Back with Angle not wanting to get in the ring until Jindrak offers a distraction. The cheap shot from behind doesn’t work so Show blasts Angle in the chest with the chops.

Another distraction also fails, with Angle going back first into the post. Back in and Angle gets in a shot to the knee to set up a choke but everyone gets in a brawl on the floor. Team Angle gets the better of it as the ankle lock goes on. Show breaks it up and grabs the chokeslam, drawing in Jindrak and Reigns for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, though it was nice of them to not wait around very long before the big brawl between everyone on the floor. You know that’s where they’re going so why bother with anything more than they had to? Show vs. Angle is fine enough for something like this and Show continues to look good since his return.

Post match Angle goes for the ankle again and might have broken it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t know if it’s the lack of Maven or the lack of a not very interesting stipulation, but the Smackdown Survivor Series match is a lot more interesting than the Raw version. Yeah it’s pretty one sided on paper, but at least they’re having a more interesting build.

The rest of the show wasn’t all that great and the JBL vs. Booker feud is more about Josh Matthews and Orlando Jordan than the World Title, but I want to see this half of Sunday’s show a lot more than the Raw half. Probably because what is being built up here is actually being blown off on Sunday instead of over the next month. Not a good show, but I want to see part of Survivor Series more than I did before, so points for that at least.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: October 28, 2004
Location: Qwest Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We have a new hero around here as Booker T. pinned JBL in a six man tag last week, setting himself up as the likely next challenger. That makes perfect sense and is a good way to set up someone fresh on top. You would think Raw might be able to learn a little something from that but at the moment, it’s unique to Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

The Tough Enough finalists are here with Al Snow and ready for their first challenge. They go into the locker room but Big Show and a few others aren’t pleased. These rookies can go dress in the hallway instead, with Show shoving Daniel Puder around. Snow is fine with these developments and tells them to leave their stuff in the hall.

They come to the ring (with John Meyer missing, having quit before even getting this far) and it’s already time for a challenge. Well first it’s time for the introductions because we need to know these names before we forget about them. Big Show just embarrassed all of them and now it’s time for them to talk back, meaning they have twenty seconds to cut a quick promo on Show.

Chris, in a kind of stoner Hulk Hogan voice, talks about how he’ll be ready to be in the same locker room in about a month.

Mike sucks up to the Oklahoma crowd (Tazz points out the problem) and says he’ll be ready to wrestle after a year of training with Snow.

Ryan is fired up and talks about being the vanilla gorilla and if Show had this chance, he would have taken it too.

Dan Rodimer gives a weird cocky promo about how he’s not going anymore.

Nick says he’s big time and dances before crawling across the ring.

Justice wants Show to come out and play because Show went after the smallest of all the finalists.

Daniel Puder says he’ll break Show’s arms and legs because he’s an Ultimate Fighter.

Snow says that was really good, despite saying they were digging a grave a few times. And now here’s Big Show so they can say these things to his face. Show tells Rodimer to tell us why he’s so tough and takes a swing at him. Rodimer ducks and now we get to the second part of the challenge: a slam for each of them.

Ryan walks right at him, gets slammed, and has to roll away.

Mike pops up with a grimace on his face.

Mitchell gets slapped in the face and can barely move, as is the case with Puder.

Chris goes up awkwardly and lands just the same.

Justice gets slammed slowly (he’s got some size to him) but Show drops an elbow on him for good measure.

Rodimer gets in Show’s face, goes up awkwardly as well, and gets kneed in the chest. This is miles ahead of watching the Divas eat pie, but egads how annoyed must the paying fans be to watch a fifteen minute reality competition?

We look back at Booker T.’s annoyances with being in a six man last week and the ensuing victory over JBL in a pretty solid face turn.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Nunzio

This is Chavo’s first match in about two months after taking a shooting star to the head. Hang on though as here’s Billy Kidman to do commentary. The distraction lets Nunzio jump him from behind but a clothesline gets Chavo out of trouble. A belly to back gets two on Nunzio but he knees Chavo in the face and works on the arm. Back up and a running headscissors takes Nunzio down to a rather strong reaction. A right hand puts Chavo down and Nunzio rams him head first into the mat.

The announcers continue to grill Kidman over his weaponizing the shooting star press as Chavo makes another comeback. Chavo’s spinebuster gets two but a double clothesline sends Nunzio outside. With Chavo down, Kidman comes in and misses a shooting star. The crash lets Chavo hit a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. They need to go with the momentum Chavo has as fast as they can because the fact that he’s Chavo Guerrero is going to catch up with him in a hurry. He’s a very good hand in the ring but he’s not the most thrilling personality and that has been his problem for most of his career. There’s nothing wrong with going with this story though and they would be dumb not to try something.

JBL talks about not losing a singles match in months and brushes off last week’s loss because it was a tag match. Booker isn’t in his league but here’s Booker for a rather intimidating stare. They argue with Booker saying he’ll take the title but Orlando Jordan gets in his face. Booker: “Go make me a sandwich or something.” Theodore Long comes in to make Jordan vs. Booker for tonight and if Booker wins, he gets a title shot at Survivor Series.

Heidenreich is on the phone with Paul Heyman and begs him to get the match with Undertaker. He needs the match so Heyman has to get Undertaker to sign a contract.

Smackdown Your Vote campaign rally video.

Paul Heyman is in a dark room and talks to the unseen Undertaker, rather fearfully asking if he will sign the contract. Heidenreich needs this match but Heyman says everything was his idea over the last few months. Undertaker reaches over and signs the contract, then grabs Heyman by the throat. We see him for the first time with Undertaker saying that he hasn’t forgotten what Heyman did to him earlier this year. That contract was for Heidenreich’s execution.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone is barred from ringside. Angle easily powers Rey (in American flag pants) onto the corner to start before taking him down into a headlock takeover. Rey almost looks confused and comes up holding his shoulder. He’s fine enough for a headlock of his own and the jawing starts until Rey actually starts a chase around the ring to send Angle outside.

The frustrated Angle grabs a chair but changes to an overhead belly to belly to send Rey outside in a nasty crash. We take a break and come back with Rey getting suplexed again as Angle is looking confident. Cole: “Ladies and gentlemen if you think this is a great match, later tonight it’s Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan!” That’s just deflating. Angle grabs a waistlock to keep Rey down, setting up a heck of a German suplex.

Angle waistlocks him for a bit until Rey fights up for a tornado DDT in his first real offense. It’s weird seeing Rey get complete dominated like this. Rey’s sitout bulldog has Angle rocked but the springboard spinning crossbody hits the referee. The 619 is broken up by an invading Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak, who draw out Rob Van Dam for the save. The Angle Slam hits Rey but here’s Eddie Guerrero to take Angle down. A frog splash is enough for the still out Rey to steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one with Rey almost getting squashed until the end when everything went nuts. Eddie vs. Angle is feeling tired now as Angle has pretty definitively won the feud, though they’re still going because there aren’t enough people for either of them to feud with on the show. They both need something fresh, though I’m not sure what they can do at the moment.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for her Halloween costume contest when Kenzo Suzuki comes in to hit on her. The freaked out Torrie finally gets him to leave.

Eddie/Rey/RVD argue with Angle/Jindrak/Reigns in Long’s office. Long makes the Survivor Series elimination tag for Survivor Series with both of them needing another partner.

Cole: “We haven’t had an elimination tag match at Survivor Series in a number of years!” That number would be zero, as there were two of them last year. My goodness this man is bad at this job. Tazz brings up the intelligence a bit by saying that he’s talked to John Cena, who has been getting better.

Josh Matthews asks Carlito about rumors of him being in the club the night Cena was stabbed. A big man grabs Josh and holds him against a wall for asking the question. That would be Jesus, who holds Josh as Carlito says he was in the club that night, celebrating his title win. He left before anything happened though, because thugs like Cena aren’t cool. Josh gets the apple treatment.

Cole emcees the costume contest between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie. Torrie is a fairy (which surprises Tazz, even though we saw the costume earlier) and Dawn is a nurse, which she says she wears while nursing Charlie Haas back to health. This brings out Jackie for the fight with Dawn being stripped of her costume, because that’s how you hurt someone in wrestling.

Big Show comes up to Eddie and demands the fourth spot on the team. Eddie doesn’t like being told what to do and yells about how he’s already got a fourth man. It’s Big Show.

Raw Rebound.

Team Angle is freaking out when the Dudleys come in. Spike offers Bubba or D-Von, but Angle says they can have the spot if they take out Big Show. Spike has a plan.

Long, long recap of the Tough Enough segment.

Booker T. vs. Orlando Jordan

If Booker wins, he gets JBL for the title at Survivor Series. Booker takes over with almost no effort, mainly because it’s Orlando Jordan. A poke to the eye lets Jordan hammer away in the corner so Booker clotheslines him into an armbar. That’s broken up and Jordan chokes on the rope but since that’s the extent of Jordan’s offense, Booker shrugs it off and knocks him outside. A drop onto the announcers’ table and a glare at JBL take us to an early break.

Back with Booker hitting a pair of suplexes and walking around. Is he supposed to be worried about Jordan? A JBL distraction lets Jordan send Booker into the steps a few times and we hit the chinlock back inside. Booker gets taken down again with a hot shot so Jordan goes up for a….I think a high crossbody but it looked more like a forearm.

Either way Booker rolls through but gets taken right back into a chinlock. Booker’s swinging neckbreaker gets him out of trouble for a bit and a flapjack does it for even longer. The spinwheel kick and spinebuster combine for two and, after kicking JBL down, the ax kick finishes Jordan to give Booker the title shot.

Rating: D-. Well what else were you expecting here? Who actually thought Orlando Jordan was going to be a threat to Booker T? Jordan was really bad here with nothing above a rookie level offense, which doesn’t quite work when you’re supposed to be some kind of an enforcer. Terrible match that went on far too long, and that’s all because of Jordan.

Overall Rating: D. This was a rough one and I don’t see it getting any better anytime soon. You have Undertaker vs. Heidenreich coming up, plus a lot more Tough Enough. It’s a better concept than the Diva Search as these people are being treated somewhat seriously, but it’s still going to take up a lot of time on the show and require years before the winner (or the several other people hired) are ready to do anything. Other than that, the stories are starting to wear thin and while Booker is a fine challenger for JBL, the match to get him there was a disaster. Pretty bad show here, and it doesn’t feel like a one off.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Houston worked very well back in 2001 and nothing has changed since then right? In addition to the Undertaker vs. Michaels showdown, we also have World Title matches of Randy Orton vs. HHH and John Cena vs. Big Show vs. Edge. It might work better in execution but this really isn’t the most inspiring show in the world. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

This is another lumberjack match but it means something for a change. In this case we have the Smackdown Tag Team Champions Carlito and Primo and the Raw Tag Team Champions Miz and Morrison fighting to FINALLY unify the two titles into one, as they should have been years ago. Primo and Morrison get things going and John has to slide in through his legs to avoid being knocked into the lumberjacks. That’s fine with Primo as he pulls off a handstand in the corner into a headscissors to send Morrison outside.

Off to Miz vs. Carlito with the latter being sent out to the floor. Some left hands knock the lumberjacks back but Morrison pulls Carlito off the top and down onto the other set of lumberjacks. Miz grabs a chinlock followed by a HARD running knee to the face from Morrison. Carlito finally comes back with an electric chair drop and it’s hot tag to Primo.

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

Rating: C. They kept this moving and made sure that it did didn’t get boring as the show was just getting started. Above all else, it’s nice to have something on the line again in one of these things. The Colons winning was a surprise and it was a good idea to give the good guys the win, even if Miz and Morrison were popular in their own right. One last thing: notice the amount of time spent on the match. That’s going to come up later.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

MVP is US Champion again, Henry has Tony Atlas (you might remember him from Wrestlemania II), Finlay has Hornswoggle and Shelton is still golden. Christian and Shelton go outside for ladders and it’s Henry and Kane ruling the ring. The big ladder is quickly brought in to take the giants down but Kofi dropkicks the ladder down to drop Christian and Shelton. He tweaks his knee though and it’s Kane and Henry climbing the ladder.

The normal sized people get together to take care of the giants but are quickly shoved down, leaving Kane and Henry to keep fighting. Kane’s advantage is short lived as Henry breaks it up and throws the big ladder over the top for reasons that aren’t clear. Finlay gets back in and takes out Kane and Shelton with a suicide dive, followed by Christian doing the same. MVP does the same thing, leaving Punk and Kofi to nail stereo suicide dives. Shelton isn’t going to be outdone and climbs a ladder for a BIG flip dive down onto everyone else. That certainly got the crowd going.

With nothing else left, Henry starts to climb in the corner. Finlay doesn’t want an earthquake and smacks him with the shillelagh, allowing Hornswoggle to climb his stepladder for a tadpole splash onto everyone but Finlay and Henry. It’s Finlay setting up a ladder Kofi dives through the middle to drop kick him back down. Kofi takes too long going up though and Finlay throws the stepladder at him for a save.

Henry is back in now and picks up the ladder, only to have Kofi run up one side. He can’t fight that much gravity though and falls into Henry’s arms (great hand speed there by Mark) for a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP takes Henry down and there’s a ladder bridged between the top rope and into the standing ladder. Shelton dives into a powerbomb from MVP but Punk makes a save.

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Every the daredevil, Shelton runs up the ladders to catch MVP with a sunset bomb but botches it even worse (understandable this time I would think) by not pulling MVP down and sending him face first into every rung of the ladder. The fans make sure to rip on him for it because their expectations are ridiculous. Shelton gets their attention back by powerbombing MVP over the top and down onto Henry and Atlas. Benjamin isn’t done yet as he knocks Finlay off a ladder and onto the bridged one.

The bridged ladder is set up next to the already standing one and it’s a double climb by Christian and Shelton. Christian knocks him off and climbs back up, only to have Punk springboard onto the other ladder. Punk gets knocked backwards and hangs on by a foot, leaving Kane to come in and pull Christian down. Punk pulls himself up though and kicks Kane down, leaving Punk to win for the second year in a row at 14:24.

Rating: B. This year tried to build up some more high spots but they got a bit too big and dangerous with some of them and couldn’t quite pull them off. Kane and Henry were interesting additions but Henry never got close to the briefcase and both were more roadblocks than anything else. Punk winning again is a cool idea and the fans were surprised when he pulled it off. Good stuff here, but a step below the others and a lot of that is due to how many people were in the match.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Here’s one of the reasons this show isn’t remembered very fondly: a TEN MINUTE KID ROCK MEDLEY. There’s no story, there’s no music video, there’s nothing but Kid Rock and his band performing for over ten minutes. After about nine, the 25 Divas in a battle royal come out, many of which are here for the first time in years but none of them are introduced because Kid Rock is still playing. This goes on longer than the pre-show Tag Team Title match. He FINALLY wraps up at about ten and a half minutes.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Maryse is Divas Champion (a new title created last previous year) and Melina is Women’s Champion. You can be eliminated through the ropes as well as over the top. They’re already fighting during the introductions and Mae Young is shown as guest timekeeper (not introduced of anything). Layla and Joy are eliminated in the first twenty seconds with no acknowledgment. Rosa Mendes is out as well and warrants some attention. Alicia Fox goes out with no mention as well.

Cole mentions that you could see who is in the match in a special photo shoot on WWE.com. That’s the extent of the entrance list you’re going to get here. I had to find a list online because the camera was on Kid Rock during most of the entrances. Lawler is stunned to hear that Sunny is in here. Sunny is tossed and there goes Torrie Wilson (takes about fifteen seconds for the announcers to figure out who it was). Gayda is eliminated and Maria is forearmed out by Victoria. Lawler: “Hey Victoria is back!” Gail and Jillian go out together, followed by Eve and Tiffany at the same time.

Beth eliminates Kelly, Molly, Maryse and Katie in about twenty seconds. The Bellas put Victoria out so Beth puts both of them out back to back. We’re down to Beth, Mickie, Michelle, Melina…..and Santina, which is Santino in drag because he thought it was unfair to have an all Divas battle royal. Mickie and Michelle fall off the top to eliminate each other in the most entertaining part of the match so far. Melina dives on Beth in an awkward looking landing but Santina eliminates both of them to win at 5:58.

Rating: F-. WOW. So the entrances were cut off for Kid Rock, the announcers had no idea who was in this, and the ending is the start of a stupid angle that eventually saw Vickie Guerrero win the crown from Santina. This was on the level of some indy company in a high school gym and it aired at Wrestlemania. Totally unacceptable and one of the biggest screwups I’ve ever seen.

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. the legends. Mickey Rourke’s movie The Wrestler came out earlier in the year, telling the story of an old wrestler trying to hang on. Jericho hated this idea and called out names such as Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka and Roddy Piper, eventually challenging them to a match at Wrestlemania. With Ric Flair in their corner, the three agreed. Jericho beat up Flair to prove his point.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

Piper starts and JR says it’s going to be bowling shoe ugly right out of the gate. They go outside with Piper sending him into the announcers’ table before trying a dropkick and kind of grazing Jericho’s shoulder with one foot. Snuka comes in with a headbutt and some shots to the ribs. It’s off to Steamboat for by far the biggest reaction of the match. He looks like he’s about 40 here and comes in off the top with a chop to the head. The armdrags have Jericho in trouble and we get a STEAMBOAT chant.

Back to Snuka who misses his half of a double chop and gets caught in a quick Walls of Jericho for the submission. Piper and Steamboat have to break the hold and it’s Piper kicking Chris in the ribs. Jericho reverses a quick sleeper and nails a running enziguri to get us down to one on one. Steamboat comes in with a high cross body for two and a HUGE reaction before it’s time to chop it out. We hit the chinlock (Jericho: “ASK HIM!”) for a bit before Jericho throws him over the top for to skin the cat (which the camera missed on the original broadcast as it was on Jericho punching Flair).

Steamboat sends him to the floor and hits a plancha as the fans are totally behind the Dragon. A top rope chop has Jericho in trouble and Ricky jumps off the bottom rope for a leapfrog into a rollup for two. Jericho scores with the bulldog but misses the Lionsault. A powerslam gets two for Steamboat but he gets caught in the Walls. We’re not done yet though as he slips out and grabs a small package for two (and a massive sigh of exasperation on the kickout). The Codebreaker puts Steamboat out at 8:57.

Rating: B. Of course that’s on an adjusted scale. This match had absolutely no reason to go anywhere and Steamboat put on the best performance someone his age and that far removed from wrestling could dream of to make it work. The crowd was with him the entire way and it’s a moment that worked so perfectly. Obviously you don’t want Jericho going down here but they took what could have been an embarrassment and turned it into one of the most entertaining things all night. If you need more proof of Steamboat’s natural talent, check this out and then the singles match he and Jericho had at Backlash. Just remarkable.

Flair charges the ring because he has to get some screen time and eats a Codebreaker. Jericho gets on the mic and brags about his victory before calling out Mickey Rourke for a fight. Rourke gets in and knocks him out (Rourke was an undefeated professional boxer so this wasn’t totally insane, even if he hadn’t boxed in 36 years. The punch missed so badly that it was laughable though.) before celebrating with Flair.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Side note: allegedly it was going to be the returning Christian as the attacker instead of Matt but they went with this instead. I’m thinking this wasn’t the best idea.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

A shop vac to the head gets two on Jeff as the announcers talking about Matt not taking a phone call from his dad for four days. Again, MATT BURNED JEFF’S HOUSE DOWN AND KILLED HIS DOG! WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A PHONE CALL??? Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post before loading up a table at ringside. Jeff comes back with a running clothesline off the apron before pulling out a crutch and kendo stick for alternating shots to the back.

Now it’s time for a garbage can around Jeff’s head for a slingshot dropkick. The swanton misses but Jeff pops back up for a superplex. A chair shot puts Matt on the floor so Jeff puts him on one table, puts a chair on top of Matt, then puts another table on top of the first table, setting up a huge splash off the top.

That’s only good for two back inside and it’s time for the ladder because there had to be one of them here. Make that two ladders, with one regular sized one and one huge one. Jeff climbs the small one and jumps over the bigger one, only to miss a legdrop. Matt puts a chair around Jeff’s neck and hits a Twist of Fate for the pin at 13:15.

Rating: D+. What was that? Like, what were they going for here? Matt played his role well enough with a big spot at the end to hurt Jeff and get his moment. That’s all well and good, but what in the world was Jeff doing? Again: attempted murder, arson, burning him with fireworks and more but he’s setting up ladders for a big legdrop? This would have been good in a regular blowoff match for say, the Intercontinental Title, but it did not match the story they were going for in the slightest. Matt got the idea but Jeff was just way off.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

JBL is defending and brags about returning to Texas as a conquering hero and the only champion this state has. He talks about Texas needing hope, which is where he can come in as their hero before he goes back to New York on his private plane. Mysterio is the Joker from The Dark Knight this year for a very bizarre look that seems to go over JR’s head. We actually get some big match intros and JBL kicks him in the face before the bell. Rey says start it and there’s an enziguri, a dropkick, the 619 and a springboard splash for the pin and the title at 21 seconds.

JBL is stunned and can’t speak. He finally gets it together and says he quits, which actually was his retirement. As Bradshaw said, this was the perfect way for the JBL character to go out: beaten, humiliated and leaving in a huff.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. the Undertaker. Shawn was free from JBL (after a long story where Shawn was broke and had to work for him) and decided he wanted the biggest challenge there was: the Streak. While he did respect Undertaker, he certainly didn’t fear him. The theme of the feud was light vs. darkness, featuring Shawn wearing all white and quoting from the Bible about God separating the light from the darkness. Undertaker said all of his usual stuff about the darkness and taking Shawn down with him, but you knew this was going to be special.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn’s entrance: all in white, descending down from the ceiling with a Heavenly chorus singing. Undertaker’s entrance: rising up through the floor all in black and bringing fire up from the stage. Well those work. Shawn speeds around to start and scores with some chops. Forearms in the corner just get on Undertaker’s nerves and he easily blocks a right hand before throwing Shawn over the top rope, only to have Shawn fake a knee injury to take Undertaker down with right hands. A huge backdrop sends Shawn flying as they’re still in first gear. Old School connects but Shawn avoids a running boot in the corner.

Shawn slaps on the reverse Figure Four until Undertaker powers out, only to take a dropkick to the knee. Undertaker shakes it off and comes back with right hands, followed by Snake Eyes and the big boot for two. Things start to speed up so Shawn grabs a Crossface of all things until Undertaker powers up into a side slam for two. It’s time to chop it out until Shawn scores with the forearm into the nipup.

Shawn goes up top but dives into a chokeslam, only to counter with a kick to the leg. The reverse Figure Four is countered into Hell’s Gate but Shawn is in the ropes fast enough for the save. Very good sequence there. Undertaker takes him down again but misses the apron legdrop, setting up a baseball slide from Shawn.

With Undertaker down on the floor, Shawn tries for the moonsault but Undertaker swats him away, sending Shawn down to the mat with a sick thud. The referee checks on Shawn but he says don’t stop it. As he’s down, Undertaker does the situp and tries the Taker Dive, only to leave it short and basically leave Undertaker to do a swanton out to the floor. Shawn tried to pull a cameraman into the way but he didn’t get far enough, meaning Undertaker only kind of landed on him.

Shawn drags the referee back in and demands a countout. The fans are REALLY not cool with that but Undertaker beats the count at nine and a half. Shawn’s eyes change but the chokeslam is countered with a HUGE chokeslam for two. Undertaker blocks a superkick and tries another chokeslam, only to have Shawn slap the hand away and score with a great looking Sweet Chin Music for two. Shawn nips up again so Undertaker grabs him by the throat and tries the Last Ride, counters Shawn’s counter and PLANTS HIM with the Last Ride. The fans are starting to lose their minds on these kickouts.

Undertaker goes up top (!) for the Shawn Michaels elbow (complete with the arm gesture) and only hits mat. Shawn gets sent over the top but skins the cat, only to get caught in the Tombstone for the closest two of the match. Undertaker’s look of shock as he lays on Shawn’s side makes it that much better. There go Undertaker’s straps and he tries another Tombstone, only to get countered into a tornado DDT (with Undertaker’s head hitting Shawn’s ribs but close enough).

Shawn’s top rope elbow connects for no cover before hitting Sweet Chin Music for one of the most dramatic near falls I’ve ever seen. That’s the first time I ever believed the Streak was over. It’s time for another slugout with each shot knocking both guys halfway off their feet because they’re so spent. Another Tombstone is countered and Undertaker charges into a boot to the jaw. Shawn goes up for another moonsault but gets caught in the Tombstone to FINALLY end this at 30:43.

Rating: A+. This is a match that people raved about live but then began to sour on in later years. Simply put, I’d call those people crazy. This was a WAR with both guys beating the tar out of each other and taking each other to a place that neither had ever been taken to. That sequence where they used each other to get to their feet and slugged it out near the end was everything you needed to see as they were so broken down and destroyed that they could only do the most basic moves.

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena, which gets to follow that. Edge won the Raw World Title in the Elimination Chamber after losing the Smackdown World Title in the other Elimination Chamber earlier in the night (my go to example of how stupid having two World Titles really was). This was going to set up Edge defending the title against Big Show (who had been having an affair with Vickie Guerrero (now Edge’s wife and GM of both shows) to get into the title match) at Wrestlemania but John Cena, the former champion, wanted his rematch. The match was turned into a triple threat after Cena revealed Show and Vickie’s affair.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Edge is defending. Cena’s entrance this year is old school as an army of John Cena look-a-likes comes out to Basic Thuganomics before Cena comes out to My Time Is Now while the look-a-likes do You Can’t See Me. We get the big match intros and we’re ready to go. Cena starts fast with a bulldog to Edge and a shoulder to Big Show. Only one of these is successful and I’ll let you figure out which is which.

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Show comes back in with a side slam to John, followed by Vickie’s nephew (and wheelchair pusher) Chavo pulling Cena to the floor. That earns him an AA before Cena goes back inside and ties Show in the ropes. Cena initiates his finishing sequence on Edge but Vickie gets out of her chair for a distraction, only to take a spear from Edge. JR: “Edge accidentally speared his wife. AGAIN!” While this is going on, Show gets annoyed at his ropes predicament. Show: “HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Cena and Edge knock each other down and Show gets free, meaning it’s time for pain. Show crushes both of them in the corner but can only chokeslam Edge. Cena is the lucky one and only takes the KO Punch, which JR calls malignant. For no apparent reasons, Show goes after Edge on the floor, allowing the champion to get up and tackle Show through the barricade and into the crowd for a big crash.

Edge is up first and tries a spear on Cena, only to get caught in the STF to furious booing. Show makes the save by grabbing Cena by the throat and throwing him to the floor. A Vader Bomb to Edge only hits the mat though and now it’s Edge and Cena working together for probably the only time ever to that point. Show gets suplexed and then clotheslined out to the floor, only to have Edge kick Cena in the face for two.

The Throwback (not a Blockbuster JR) puts Edge down but Show shoves Cena off the top and into a spear. Back up and Edge tries a sleeper on Show…..until Cena PUTS THEM BOTH ON HIS SHOULDERS AT THE SAME TIME, which gets nowhere near the reaction that it should. Cena just put at minimum 700lbs on his shoulders and the fans reacted to Santina dancing better than this. Edge gets flipped first before Cena AA’s Show, followed by another one to Edge onto Show, giving Cena the pin and the title at 14:44.

Rating: B-. Considering what they had to follow and how spent the crowd was (there’s still no excuse for no selling that double AA), this couldn’t have gotten much better. The stupid love triangle didn’t help anyone because people were burned out on Vickie by this point. She was a great heel but it was pure overkill. Cena getting the title back makes sense, even if he wound up being a transitional champion before it became part of a great feud between CM Punk and Jeff Hardy. Good match here but it wasn’t as good as it could have been, at least partially due to the story.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

The Class of 2009 is brought out with everyone standing on their own star. We have Terry and Dory Jr. Funk, Bill Watts, Howard Finkel (imagine the stories he could tell), Koko B. Ware (the low point of the Hall of Fame), the Von Erich Family (represented by Kevin because he’s the only one left alive), Ricky Steamboat and Steve Austin. After the introductions, Austin slips away and rides back to the ring on his ATV (now in a t-shirt instead of suit) for a beer bash, including sharing one with JR. That makes this feel right.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

Attendance announcement, which isn’t listed as a record.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH. Orton won the Royal Rumble to earn his shot at HHH, who won the title in the first Elimination Chamber. They’re treating this like a culmination of their feud that started back in 2004 so Orton attacked HHH’s family (including laying out Stephanie and kissing her while she was unconscious), which he blamed on some mental disorder (which of course he later admitted that he made up). HHH then invaded Orton’s house and threw him through a window.

So this whole feud is built on violence and HHH wanting to get his ultimate revenge. Therefore, the stipulation was that HHH could lose the title via DQ or countout. Yeah instead of a street fight or some match where you can have a ton of violence, the rules made sure that they had to tone the violence down as much as they had. Remember how screwy Jeff Hardy was in his match when he wouldn’t be violent and it didn’t make sense? Well here they’re doing the same to HHH on purpose.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and throws his sledgehammer through a mirror for his entrance. Well it’s better than a screwed up Motorhead performance. We get a really cool visual of Orton looking up from the floor as HHH does his signature pose in the corner. In a normal situation, HHH would be on him before the big match intros can even start but he stands his ground instead. Thankfully he doesn’t start posing again.

HHH hammers away to start and the referee almost disqualifies him for not breaking. The RKO hits the distracted champion less than two minutes in but instead of covering, Orton loads up the Punt. HHH moves away and scores with a Pedigree maybe two and a half minutes in and both guys are already down. Out to the floor so HHH can steal someone’s water to revive himself and post Orton.

Back in and Randy’s begging off doesn’t work and HHH starts driving knees into the back of Orton’s head. They head outside again with HHH being sent into the steps as this continues to be more like some weird performance art instead of a match. It’s almost like they’re trying to do a street fight without weapons because SOMEONE SCREWED THE MATCH UP WITH A STUPID RULE!

The champ gets thrown over the barricade but is still able to beat the count. At least Orton is getting smart and trying to win by countout. If only he had hit his finisher out of nowhere earlier and had the chance for a pin. Now it’s Orton dropping knees of his own until HHH grabs a belly to back suplex. Orton comes back with a powerslam and chinlock to slow things down even more.

HHH fights up (because it’s a chinlock about than ten minutes in) and scores with the high knee, only to have the Pedigree countered into a catapult into the buckle. Another Pedigree is countered into a rollup for two before HHH grabs a rollup for his own near fall. FEEL THE HATRED! The spinebuster is a bit more like it but Orton countered ANOTHER Pedigree attempt (come on dude you know more moves than that) into the backbreaker for two. Back up and HHH heads to the top so Orton can dropkick him out of the air.

Another Punt is blocked and HHH shoves him out to the floor. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table as the referee reminds him of the DQ rule. You know, because EVERY main event has a DQ when someone uses weapons. HHH doesn’t hit him in the head with a monitor but instead tries a Pedigree which is countered into a backdrop onto the table. So where’s Orton’s threat of DQ? The elevated DDT on the floor knocks HHH silly but he gets back in at nine again.

Back in again and Orton stomps away in the corner, making Lawler ask why the referee isn’t threatening a DQ. See, Lawler gets it. Orton whips HHH into the referee before hitting the RKO but let’s bring in a sledgehammer. You knew that was coming at some point because these two love symbolism. Orton takes his time getting back in though and HHH Punts him (JR said it was THUNDEROUS so you know he’s serious). The sledgehammer hits Orton in the jaw and HHH hits some big right hands, followed by another Pedigree to retain at 23:35.

Rating: D. Oh wow did they miss here. As I said roughly 19 times, this should have been a violent street fight instead of trying to have a match where the rules didn’t make a ton of sense in the first place. They spent most of the match building up the Pedigree…..which HHH already hit about a minute in to make that story even more head scratching.

This felt like HHH and Orton trying to go out and have some big epic moment, which is the main reason this failed. Well aside from the rules not fitting the story. It felt like they were forcing this to be something it wasn’t. On top of that it doesn’t help that Orton and HHH really don’t have the main event chemistry that you would expect them to have. You would think they would have learned that after their four pay per view matches in 2008 and before the three more they had after this in 2009. Bad match and a HORRIBLE main event.

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a really hard one to pin down as it’s trying to balance the really good vs. the really bad. The extreme rules match, the battle royal, the Kid Rock stuff and the main event are a bit heavier than Money in the Bank, the triple threat, Steamboat and Undertaker vs. Shawn. The problem is, aside from Shawn vs. Undertaker, the good stuff is only pretty good but the bad is REALLY bad.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

The best thing this show could have done is swap the main events. I know you want to end on a title match, but they had to know that Shawn vs. Undertaker was going to be impossible to top. The story was much stronger there anyway and if that’s how you end it, the memories of this show are so much more positive. There are way worse Wrestlemanias out there, but few that are more disappointing than this one through a lot of weird decisions.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last year’s great show, we get….this. Wrestlemania 25 is often listed alongside the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. I watched it live and thought it sucked other than the candidate for best match ever in the middle of it. This is one of the ones that I wasn’t looking forward to but I have to be tortured for this job. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of people being asked what the biggest moment in Wrestlemania history is over the first 25 years (let me get this out of the way: IT WAS TWENTY FOUR AT THAT TIME. This drove me CRAZY at the time because the show was built up as the 25^th anniversary of the show, but that isn’t how things work. Think about it: when you get married, the day a year later is your first anniversary, meaning that Wrestlemania 2 would be the first anniversary, Wrestlemania 3 is your second anniversary and so on to Wrestlemania 25 being the TWENTY FOURTH ANNIVERARY, NOT THE TWENTY FIFTH!).

Anyway the answers are exactly what you would expect: ladder match, Hogan slamming Andre, Hogan vs. Warrior etc. This leads to a video of people saying they’re making the top moment tonight.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane

MITB here. Henry has Tony Atlas with him, MVP is the face US Champion and Kofi is still Jamaican. BIG pop for Christian here. It’s a big brawl to start as the fans are solidly behind Christian here. Christian and Shelton run over Henry with the big ladder but Kofi jumps over it and takes both guys down. There’s a Boom Drop onto the ladder onto both guys. The ladder is set up in the ring but here’s Kane to beat everyone up.

Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.

Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.

Horny slides in his own ladder to climb onto Henry’s back and dive onto all six guys on the floor. Finlay is the only guy standing and throws in a big ladder, but he had to fight Kofi. Kofi dives THROUGH the ladder and drops it onto Finlay for good measure. Finlay drops him with the Horny ladder and does the same to Christian and Kane. The Irishman tries to go up but Kofi kicks him down.

Kingston tries for a climb but Henry is back again and shoves down the ladder. In an AWESOME spot, Henry holds the ladder to set it in place and Kofi runs up, only to be dropped down and hit with a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP slides a ladder into the standing one to make a kind of platform. Shelton slides under the ladder and kicks MVP in the ribs. MVP comes back with a kind of powerbomb on Benjamin but Punk stops the climb.

Now it’s Christian and Punk with Punk on the ladder and Christian on the platform. Now they’re both on the same side of the ladder and Christian hits the Killswitch off the ladder. By hits I mean Christian drops him in midair and Punk’s head never came within three feet of the mat but you do what you can I guess. MVP climbs up but Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor to get to the platform to get to the ladder for a sunset bomb to MVP. By sunset bomb, I mean he doesn’t get MVP over and basically pulls MVP’s face down the ladder. That’s two big blown spots in a row.

MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.

Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.

Rating: B-. The blown spots REALLY bring this down because they were some terribly blown spots. Punk winning is fine as it was eventually the catalyst for his heel turn but that wouldn’t be for about six months. The match was good and having some fresh blood with Kofi out there helped, but the match overall was a letdown compared to other years, as the problem becomes “how do you top the other stuff?”. Still good though.

Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.

Now we get to the part of this show which makes fans’ heads hurt: a TWELVE MINUTE Kid Rock song medley. Keep in mind that a unification match for the two sets of tag titles was on the preshow and ran about 9 minutes. THAT can’t make Wrestlemania but this nonsense can. This is to set up the Miss Wrestlemania battle royal.

Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal

Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson

The medley contains the entrances for all 25 girls, none of whom get entrances or even introductions, so the fans have no idea who all is in this thing for the most part. Justin Roberts is reading the rules and people are already being eliminated. Not that we’re told WHO THEY ARE or anything but whatever. Oh and you can go through the ropes too. Cole: “You can get a look at all the entrants in this on WWE.com!” Yeah, that’s the only way to see them because KID ROCK had to eat up all their time.

Sunny, Torrie, Layla and Rosa are out for sure but the rest of them aren’t even mentioned. Gail and Jillian eliminate each other as Beth eliminates Tiffany and some other chick not mentioned. Molly and Kelly are put out as is Maryse. Beth dumps both Bellas and the only Divas left are Michelle, Mickie, Melina and Beth. Mickie and Michelle eliminate each other but Santina eliminates the other two. It’s Santino in drag if that wasn’t clear. Yeah, THIS is your payoff for bringing back all those famous chicks. This led to months of STUPID jokes and skits about them being brother and sister or something. No rating but this was awful.

Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.

We recap Jericho vs. Piper/Snuka/Steamboat which is built around the Mickey Rourke movie The Wrestler. The idea is that Jericho insulted Rourke and the movie because it’s not the same as getting in the ring. Rourke said he’d fight at Mania then backpedaled. We then had Jericho insult Snuka, Piper and Steamboat for sticking around too long. Flair was insulted as well but since Flair can’t wrestle anymore, Jericho beat up and challenged the other legends to a match here tonight.

Rourke is at ringside.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Flair is here to support his fellow old people. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s somewhere between smashed and alcohol poisoning. Jericho has to beat all three legends to win so he starts with Piper. Roddy looks bad but considering less than two years earlier he was diagnosed with lymphoma, this is pretty impressive.

Piper fires away to start and takes it to the mat before hooking a quick sunset flip for two. A kind of dropkick puts Chris down and Roddy pounds away in the corner. Jimmy comes in and the match turns into slow motion. To be fair he’s about 65 here. Ricky comes in and starts cranking on the arm as you would expect him to. Back to Jimmy for a double chop although only Ricky’s actually hits. Out of nowhere Jericho puts on the Walls for the elimination.

Piper comes back in and works over the ribs before throwing on the sleeper. It only lasts for a few seconds though before Jericho rams him into the top rope and gets the elimination via a running enziguri. This leaves Steamboat vs. Jericho with the Dragon coming in with the top rope cross body for a VERY close near fall. A snapmare puts Ricky down and jericho kicks him in the back before putting on a chinlock. In the STUPID part of the show, Jericho throws Steamboat over the ropes for him to skin the cat, but LET’S LOOK AT FLAIR INSTEAD!

Jericho gets backdropped over the top to the floor and IT’S A FLYING OLD MAN to take Jericho down again. Back in and a top rope chop has Jericho reeling. Steamboat jumps over Chris out of the corner and gets a rollup for two. Jericho finally hits the bulldog but the Lionsault misses. Ricky grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two but gets caught in the Walls. Steamboat reverses THAT into a small package for the hottest two count you’ll see in years. If that’s not enough, Steamboat backflips out of a belly to back suplex, only to walk into the Codebreaker to let Jericho survive.

Rating: B-. WOW Steamboat had me going here and I knew what the ending was. Steamboat was 56 years old here and hadn’t wrestled regularly in FIFTEEN YEARS and just had the crowd actually believing he could beat Jericho five months after he lost the world title. That’s ASTONISHING and would lead to a one on one match between these two at Backlash. Snuka and Piper were there for one last hurrah but Steamboat was trying to steal the show and came pretty freaking close. This is a great example of a match with NO reason to be good which wound up being pretty sweet.

Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. The idea is that stuff had started happening to Jeff such as pyro nearly blinding him, someone trying to run him off the road, and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN. At Royal Rumble, Matt revealed that it was him behind it because he was jealous of Jeff’s success. Naturally, no charges were ever filed or anything like that, because why do that when you can have an extreme rules match here instead?

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Matt now has regular tights instead of the cargo jeans. Jeff takes him down and pounds away to start before heading to the floor. A hard poster to the head doesn’t do much to Matt, presumably BECAUSE IT WAS A POSTER. The steps work a bit better and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade to crush Matt. Back in and Poetry in Motion hits the corner instead of Matt and the Whisper in the Wind only hits chair.

Matt chokes away on the ropes and punches away at Jeff’s head. The Side Effect onto a chair gets two so Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but Jeff fights off a suplex through said table and hits a running clothesline off the apron. Jeff busts out a kendo stick and a crutch to beat on Matt’s back before putting a trashcan over Matt’s head for the slingshot dropkick for two.

There goes Jeff’s shirt but the Swanton completely misses. The Twist of Fate gets two for Matt and he’s getting frustrated. Matt calls for a Swanton but gets caught in a superplex instead for no cover. There’s a BIG chair shot to Matt’s head which sends him to the floor. Jeff lays Matt on the table before putting another table on top of that table. There’s a HUGE splash through both tables along with Matt to leave everyone laying.

Back in and that only gets two, and now it’s time for the ladders required by a Hardys match. A legdrop keeps Matt down and the ladder is set up. Make that two ladders with one being bigger than the other. Jeff climbs the small ladder and jumps over the tall ladder, only to miss his big legdrop. Matt puts Jeff’s neck in the chair for a Twist of Fate to finally end this.

Rating: B. This was a solid brawl but it would all go downhill from here. Their feud didn’t ever quite work for the most part because the audience wasn’t all that interested and Matt didn’t work as a top heel. As for this match though, they beat the tar out of each other and Matt looked violent and evil. Unfortunately he couldn’t back that up for the most part.

Orton is ready for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey is challenging. JBL goes on a rant about how much Texas sucks and how they’ve lost their backbone. After this match is over, JBL is bailing on Texas and heading back to New York where he loves to be. Rey is the Joker from Dark Knight this year. They actually do big match intros here which isn’t something you see for a midcard title match. The referee reads them the rules and JBL kicks Rey in the head. Now the bell rings and Rey hits an enziguri, the 619 and a top rope splash for the pin and the title in about 20 seconds.

Post match JBL says he quits, which is his actual retirement as he’s never wrestled since.

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.

Shawn might have hurt his knee but he’s channeling his inner Bret by goldbricking. Taker will have none of that and throws Shawn into the corner for more punishment. Michaels comes back with chops in the corner but gets backdropped down to stop the momentum. Taker drives some shoulder into Shawn but Shawn takes him down with a clothesline. The reverse Figure Four (called a regular one by that idiot Michael Cole) has Taker in trouble but he finally slugs his way out of it.

Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.

There’s the nipup but Shawn doesn’t tune up the band. Instead it’s a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline but as Shawn goes up, he jumps into the chokeslam. He escapes THAT and tries the superkick but is too far away, meaning the kick only hits Taker’s chest. It puts Taker down so Shawn tries the Figure Four but Taker counters into Hell’s Gate. Shawn flails around and gets a foot on the rope for a fast break but he’s clearly staggered.

We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.

Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.

Taker grabs him by the throat but the Last Ride is countered into a sunset flip bid, but THAT is countered into the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Watching this match for probably the fourth time I actually thought that was the finish. Think about that for a minute. Taker goes up top and misses a top rope elbow but as Shawn tries to skin the cat, Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone. He sticks the tongue out but THAT gets two, I believe making Shawn either the first or second guy ever to kick out of all three of Taker’s finishers.

Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.

They fight up from their knees and use each other to pull themselves up before slugging it out with everything they’ve got. A big boot puts Shawn down but Taker charges into a boot in the corner to put him down. Shawn climbs up top and tries a moonsault press, but Taker somehow catches him in mid air for another Tombstone to make him 16-0, and that’s your match of the year.

Rating: A+. Masterpiece, excellent, classic, best match they’ve ever had, best match of all time candidate etc. Pick one, as they’re all appropriate. This is one of the only matches ever where I’ve been on the edge of my seat the entire time and lost my mind on the kickouts. Absolutely outstanding here and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen, and that covers quite a bit of ground.

Now what gets to follow that?

We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. Cena for the Raw Title. Edge switched brands at No Way Out after losing the WWE Title and won the World Title in the other Chamber match, because the titles are interchangeable props which you can pass around like this for no apparent reason. Edge’s wife Vickie was blackmailed into putting Cena into a triple threat match because Cena had video of Show and Vickie having an affair. This is basically a glorified handicap match.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Edge is defending and Vickie is STILL in the wheelchair. Cena’s big entrance this year: an army of probably 60 guys dressed in Cena gear make a tunnel for the real Cena to run through, complete with the old Word Life theme song. Cena fights off both guys but the numbers catch up with him, allowing the heels to take him down. Edge is knocked to the floor and it’s back to Cena who gets beaten down by the monster.

Show goes outside to get Edge but the champion dropkicks the steps into Show’s knees, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser to drive Show’s face into the floor. Back in and Cena tries a quick AA, only to be countered into the Edgecution for two. Show comes back in with a side slam for two on John but Cena comes back with right hands. When those don’t do much he tries to hit the ropes but Vickie’s nephew Chavo pulls him to the floor. That earns him an AA and we head back inside where John knocks Show into the ropes to tie him up. Show: “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.

Cena escapes a double chokeslam but can’t get the AA. Instead Show hits him with the WMD but instead of, I don’t know, COVERING, he goes to the floor after Edge. Edge counters a chokeslam into a DDT on the floor and all three guys are down. The champion crawls over to the steps and sets them right next to Show. With a running start, Edge uses the steps as a springboard and dives at Show, sending both of them through the barricade and into the crowd.

Back in and Edge gets two on Cena but the spear is countered into the STF. John pulls it back to the center of the ring but Big Show breaks it up by grabbing Cena’s throat. A Vader Bomb elbow misses Edge and everyone is down again. In a rare sight, Edge and Cena team up to suplex Show down and then clothesline him to the floor.

The Throwback puts Edge down but as Cena goes up, Show shoves him off and into a spear from Edge for two. Everyone is inside again and Show charges into a boot from Edge. The champion tries a sleeper on Show, so in the HOW DID HE DO THAT spot of the year, Cena AA’s BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME. Edge slides off and Show takes the full brunt. Cena hits an AA on Edge onto Big Show and pins the giant for the title.

Rating: B-. Fine but it’s another meaningless title change in a year which would be full of such things. Edge would get the title back at Backlash to make sure that these title reigns are as forgettable as possible and give us Cena vs. Big Show for about the ninth time. The match was just ok for the most part until the eye popping finish.

Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.

Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.

This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.

One night on Raw, HHH was knocked into the ropes and tied up as Stephanie came down. Orton gave Stephanie the Elevated DDT before kissing her on the lips, further enraging HHH. At one point in the rivalry, HHH broke into Orton’s house and threw him through a window. Orton decided to fight HHH at Wrestlemania instead of pressing charges. The stage was perfectly set for the great beat down by HHH, allowing him to let out all of his aggression and rage on Orton.

While not the greatest story in the world, at least there was a solid idea and we should get a solid brawl out of things. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned beating of a hated rival is there? Well apparently WWE saw something wrong with it, because there was a stipulation added: if HHH gets countered out or more importantly disqualified, he loses the WWE Title. Upon hearing this, everyone collectively said HUH?

This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.

HHH(c) vs. Randy Orton

HHH has a cool entrance here as he swings his hammer at the camera, only to reveal that it’s a big mirror that he shatters. They stare at each other for a bit before HHH takes Orton down and pounds away. The champion stomps on Orton in the corner and is threatened with a DQ, showing us how stupid this gimmick is. With HHH yelling at the referee, Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere a minute and five seconds in. The Punt misses and there’s the Pedigree but HHH can’t follow up.

Orton is sent to the floor and rammed into the announce table before heading back in for more right hands. HHH catapults Orton throat first into the bottom rope before dropping some knees on the head. Randy heads back to the floor and counters a whip to send HHH into the steps. HHH gets whipped into the timekeeper’s table which apparently hurt his shoulder. Orton tries to get the countout to get the title but the Game is back in at nine.

Randy drops some knees and kicks to the ribs and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up after a few moments in the hold and HHH punches his way out of the corner. The jumping knee to Orton’s face puts him down and there’s the facebuster for good measure. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult though, sending HHH face first into the buckle. Not that it really matters though as a clothesline puts Orton down for two as the slow pace finally picks up a bit.

HHH gets shoved off the top but Orton dives off the top into a boot. A rollup gets two for the champion and they slug it out some more. The spinebuster puts Randy down but the Pedigree is countered into Orton’s backbreaker for two. HHH gets in another clothesline and goes up for some reason, only to jump into a dropkick. A kick to HHH’s ribs is caught and Orton is flipped over the top and out to the floor. They head over to the announce table and HHH picks up a monitor but drops it for fear of losing the title.

The champion tries a Pedigree on the announce table, only to be backdropped down onto the table which doesn’t break. With HHH still on the table, Orton hits the Elevated DDT to drive HHH head first into the floor. HHH still manages to get back in at 9 so Orton stomps away even more. Randy stomps away in the corner and chokes away as this is dragging again. HHH comes back but Orton throws HHH into the referee. There’s the RKO but the referee is down.

With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.

Rating: D. Erg that was awful. This was the same problem they had with the Cena vs. HHH match from a few years ago, where it felt like they were trying for something epic that told a story but it didn’t work at all. Instead it was these two punching and kicking a lot while having to stop because they might get disqualified. This didn’t work at all because the match didn’t fit the buildup, which was only decent in the first place.

HHH stands over Orton’s body like a viking standing over a big kill to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, this show is WAY better than I remember it with only two bad matches the whole way through. Unfortunately, the first of those two matches is after a nearly fifteen minute concert which no one wanted to see. The other match though is the main event which counting recap, entrances and post match stuff is nearly 40 minutes. That match is like a sledgehammer to the knees of this show and is easily one of the worst main events in Mania history.

On the other hand, the rest of the show is shockingly good, but it falls short of what it could have been in places. MITB is probably the worst yet but still solid, the Legends match was good but had absolutely no right to be, the Hardy match was good but nothing more, and the triple threat was about the same. The problem here is that one match is all anyone really remembers from this show other than a few individual moments. The memory of the main event hurts this thing a lot as it’s the only thing people remember other than the Streak match. Much better show than I remember, but it’s no classic.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: B-

Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 25
Date: April, 5 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Some Pussycat Doll

Please keep in mind that this show was partially written live so excuse some of the in the moment emotional reactions.

Since this show literally is happening tonight, I won’t bother with any kind of a recap. We start with your standard history package that somehow never gets old to me at all.

Money In The Bank: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Finlay is breaking out the old school Fit Finlay shoulder pads. I’m digging it. After ten minutes of entrances, we’re underway. As usual I’m not even going to bother trying to keep track of everything that’s going on in this as it’s going to be all over the place like it always is.

Henry and Kane clear the ring almost immediately and the fans chant for Christian. Christian and Shelton take care of them as it’s back and forth already. Kofi may have hurt his knee on a big jump over the ladder and a dropkick. Henry and Kane go up but can’t get anywhere as we’re three minutes in. An army of midcarers takes care of Henry.

Four guys go up the ladder and the big guys take them down again. Finlay clears the ring and dives out on Kane. Christian takes out Kane and Finlay as this is kind of all of the place. What a shock indeed. Henry takes out all three of them to continue the tradition. Punk and Kofi hit stereo suicide dives. Shelton dives off the ladder and more or less lands on his head.

Shelton may have killed himself with that stupid flip. That scared the heck out of me. Also for those interested, I just found out that the tag titles was the preshow match with the Colons winning. It’s your general spotfest so far and that’s what it’s supposed to be. Crowd is fairly hot too.

Horny busts out a stepladder which gets him nowhere at all. Naturally a jumping midget can take out six guys. Finlay brings out the big ladder which is required viewing anymore. Kofi takes a good shot and is down already. He’s taking a big beating and it’s working pretty well.
Kofi is bumping like a crazy man in this match. I’m loving him so far as he’s the highlight of the show. Kane and Henry were dominant early on but here come the smaller people. Henry is back and is setting up a ladder. While he holds it up, Kofi runs up the side of it but falls and is caught in the World’s Strongest Slam in a sweet spot.

MVP comes in to pound of Henry which gets him nowhere again. MVP stops Shelton, Punk stops MVP, Christian stops Punk. Punk and Christian do a cool spot on a ladder that’s balanced from one ladder to the top rope and even though the Unprettier was botched horribly, that’s hard to blame them for.

MVP almost makes it again but Shelton makes an incredible save. He runs up a ladder leaning against the ring then across a ladder between the rope and a ladder in the ring and then up the other ladder that MVP is on to make the last second save. That was incredible and as usual Shelton gets the spot of the match.

The botches in this match are killing it. These matches are really hard to call. Kane, Christian and Punk are fighting on the ladders and all but Punk fall, making him the first two time MITB winner!

Rating: C+. The problem here is the botches. There were a ton this year and the winner was kind of a letdown, and remember Punk is my favorite wrestler. It was a great opener, but not a great match if that makes sense. Too many people and really just a lot of one on ones for about twenty minutes. Not bad.

Axxess recap. Would be funner to be there to watch it.

Kid Rock performs. We don’t care as this is a food break for me. He’s on his third song and the reaction is priceless. There is absolute silence here as the fans simply could not care less. He does two old songs and his new one. My lord this is a waste of time. We don’t get the tag title match but we get this? Waste of time.

He is on his fourth song now. At least All Summer Long is a decent song, but do we need to hear this now? My goodness, he’s doing another one. The divas come out to dance with him. My headache is now at the grab a hatchet level, as this is at ten minutes now. After a big pyro display, it’s time for the battle royal. Holy goodness I’m bored.

25 Diva Battle Royal

Not even going to try to call this as we don’t even get the intros here. This is a freaking joke, thank you Kid Rock. No Trish or Lita means this isn’t a legit battle royal. We don’t even have a list or a face shot of all the divas. It’s a standard battle royal and I literally couldn’t be more bored. The commentators are sucking up to Kid Rock so much that I’m about to mute this. Literally people are being eliminated and it’s the first we hear of them. This is pathetic.

Santino is in drag as this is somehow even dumber every second. Never in my life have I seen a worse Mania match, period. Final there are Melina, Beth and Santino. I knew it. Freaking Santino wins. The commentators apparently don’t realize the massive tattoo on his chest. Has wrestling really fallen this far? The SFAC is going to be proud of this, and that is completely sickening to me.

Rating: N/A. This is the worst Mania match of all time. It was designed to get a stupid comedy guy on the show, we don’t know who was in it, they got no face time, and Kid Rock is the freaking cause of it. I am officially angry about this show. Such a waste of time. I’m not rating it because there isn’t a rating low enough for it.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Jericho has to beat all three to win. Massive recap as we’re somehow led to believe that Rourke won’t be at the show. Yeah right. Rourke actually is here. I’m surprised. They kind of get their own intros as their musics play but they stand on the ramp instead of going to the ring. Piper gets a decent pop. He looks decent too. Considering he had cancer less than two years ago, this is amazing. Flair accompanies them.

Piper is wearing a shirt which is likely a good thing. PIPER THROWS A DROPKICK!!! Off to Snuka who does his usual offense that gets him nowhere at all. And there’s the Liontamer to end him. He looked awful out there. Piper is mind blowing here. He looks as good as he did in WCW. Now is that a compliment or not?

As I type that, he’s eliminated via Codebreaker. This is literally 5 minutes in and it’s 1 on 1. I know this didn’t seem like it was five minutes but that’s how slowly these guys are moving. The old guys are getting to throw out some basic offense but it’s just leading to them being eliminated. Steamboat skins the cat in his 50s and of course we don’t see it. HE JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! This is making up for everything.

Ross talks about how Jericho is staying with the Legends like it’s surprising. Steamboat is tearing this up and I’m wanting to stop the review to look at him go. This is incredible stuff considering no one expected a single thing out of him. He gets the cross body for two as Jericho is reeling. And then he walks into the Codebreaker to end it. That was amazing while it lasted.

Steamboat had me freaking out. Flair runs in and gets beaten up too. Of course Rourke gets in the ring and they have an impromptu boxing match. Rourke knocks him down as this is somehow dumber than it was before.

Rating: C+. Considering their ages and level of rust, this was mind blowing. Jericho had to win though. Steamboat had me on the edge of my chair. How he’s not called one of the best ever is beyond me. We’re three matches in and Steamboat has carried this. That’s a very bad sign. Let me make sure I have this straight: four hall of famers can’t beat up Jericho, but a 56 year old guy that boxed almost 15 years ago can beat him up?

In something funny, when they said go into the storm, it thundered at my house.

We get the recap talking about how Matt more or less tried to kill Jeff about three times. Of course he doesn’t prosecute him. He wrestles him. You have to love WWE.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I miss Matt’s old heel attire. He looked like a legit monster. Naturally they got rid of them and made him an overrated face again. This has happened before but they made it big this time. I don’t think people are interested in this but whatever. Matt takes a shot with a WWE poster. How EXTREME! Matt takes Jeff down but Jeff gets up first. Well of course he does.

Crowd is waking up a tad here which might be exactly what this show needs. Matt has a bit of a gut which surprises me. Poetry in Motion with the assistance of a chair misses and here comes Matt. He takes out Jeff’s knee and just cracks him with the chair for two. Matt grabs a dry-vac from under the ring. Why a dry vac is under there is beyond me but it’s WWE so I’ll just kind of go with it.

Side effect on a chair gets two. Matt is dominating here as he bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but there’s no D-Von around to get it. What are we going to do??? They slug it out and neither guy goes through it. This is intense but kind of dull at the same time if that makes sense.

Jeff gets a kendo stick to crack away at him and here come the required trashcans. Slingshot dropkick into the can into Matt has him in big trouble. Swanton misses and Jeff is in trouble. Twist of Fate connect and only gets two. Almost zero heat on the kickout either. Matt goes for a Swanton which is blocked. The people of Houston just avoided a huge earthquake.

Matt gets CRACKED over the head with a chair in a sick looking and sounding shot. Jeff sets Matt on a table and then another table on top of that and splashes it and dang if he didn’t almost hit him! Back in the ring it only gets two. This needs to end like now.

The more successful one goes to the floor and pulls out some ladders. Well of course he does. Jeff misses a huge bump by setting up a huge ladder and then climbing up a regular one and jumping over the big one. He crashes down in pain and I’m slightly entertained. Matt does a sick looking Twist of Fate on a chair to close this out.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible and the ending was perfect. Matt’s finisher, not Jeff’s mistake ended it. There was no way Jeff could win this and he didn’t. It wasn’t great, but it could have been far worse. Not terrible. I just don’t think they had the intensity they wanted with this and it kind of showed through.

Legends of Mania commercial.

Orton is getting ready.

IC Title: JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

I miss the intros as I heat up my tacos. Mysterio looks like Doink the Clown. How does he manage to come up with a dumber outfit every Mania? Rey looks so ridiculous as apparently he’s the Joker. He’s also wearing bright green suspenders. Holy goodness it’s a 10 second match! WHAT ARE THEY DOING??? Rey hits the 619 and a splash and wins it?

Rating: N/A. This is officially the dumbest Mania of all time. There has to be like 40 minutes each for the last three matches.

JBL’s big announcement is that he quits, getting the pop of the night.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

If this match isn’t a 5 star classic, this is officially the worst Mania of all time, end of argument. Massive recap to start of course. The entrances are of course mind blowingly sweet with Taker coming up out of darkness and Shawn coming down from the ceiling in a white chariot like an angel. Ok that was awesome.

This just feels epic on all levels which is how it’s supposed to feel. And here we go. The fans pop for the bell. Think they’re excited? Sign a few rows back: It’s still real to me! OH YES! Shawn scores a few points with some chops and then runs. Taker blocks a punch and throws Shawn over the top but Shawn catches himself.

HBK fakes a knee injury. Now that’s just brilliant. You know he’s never done that for Wrestlemania before! Basically an extended feeling out process here as neither guy can get an advantage going here. Big back drop by Taker and Shawn is in some trouble. Elbow gets one only. Old School gets a big ovation and Shawn is in trouble.

And so much for that as Taker misses a kick in the corner and Shawn goes for the knee. There go the dueling chants. Sharpshooter is blocked so Shawn uses a reverse figure four and Taker is in little trouble because he’s not going to tap. Taker’s solution to get out of this? Punch Shawn in the face. You can’t beat simplicity at times.

Taker unloads on him in the corner and gets the Snake Eyes and big boot combination. Shawn gets a bad crossface out of nowhere which sees Taker laying on his side. Taker stands up and gets a side slam to break up the hold. Nicely done. Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker glares at him. Forearm puts Taker down and we get a nip up at the same time Taker sits up.

Shawn sets for the elbow from the top but Taker sits up and Shawn is in trouble again. He counters that but walks into Hell’s Gate as he goes for the Figure Four again. A rope is grabbed and we head the to floor. Apron legdrop misses and Shawn avoids trouble. Baseball slide puts Taker down again. Moonsault to the floor misses though and Shawn is in big trouble again.

The momentum is changing every few seconds here and it’s great stuff. Taker hits the ropes and OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS! Taker dove over the ropes but overrotated and slammed his freaking head into the floor! He more or less killed a cameraman and there was a loud cracking sound. Luckily the replay shows that it was just the camera hitting the ground which is a nice break I guess.

Wow that was insane looking though. I was legitimately thinking they were going to have to stop it there. That was as scary as any bump I’ve ever seen. SOMEHOW, and I mean that literally, Taker isn’t dead. Shawn does a semi-heel turn and tries to get the count out win. To be fair though that might be better for Taker’s health at this point.

Taker BARELY makes it back in at nine and a half. I was actually thinking it was over there. There are those dueling chants again. Superkick is caught by a BIG old chokeslam for two as the crowd explodes. Tombstone, superkick, chokeslam. All of those were countered in a row but Shawn gets a BIG superkick for two. Sweet goodness I’d have bet on that one.

Shawn’s ticked off face is great. Taker grabs him by the throat and goes for the Last Ride but Shawn gets a sunset flip. Taker grabs him again and is like boy you’re getting drilled and hits a HUGE Last Ride for TWO. Wow these kickouts are incredible. Taker goes up and misses an elbow as both guys are down again.

Shawn is sent over the top but Skins the Cat. Taker catches him AGAIN in the Tombstone and Shawn is DEAD. Apparently DEAD doesn’t mean three though as Shawn kicks out AGAIN. This is incredible. Taker’s face is like NO FREAKING WAY. Shawn counters another Tombstone attempt with a spinning DDT of all things.

Michaels somehow gets up to the top rope and hits the big elbow but both guys are down again. Sweet Chin Music out of NOWHERE gets two. Well of course it did. With nothing else left from either guy they slug it out from their knees. Shawn chops away but Taker kicks him in the face to put him down.

Tombstone is countered AGAIN and Shawn gets a boot into the jaw of Taker in the corner to buy himself some time. Shawn goes up for a moonsault press but Taker somehow catches him and Tombstones him to death to FINALLY end this. In-freaking-credible. Absolutely amazing stuff and it WINS.
Rating: A+. Wrestlemania has been saved. Future edit: no it hasn’t. Go watch this match right now as it’s the best match I have ever seen.

Draft is coming in 8 days. I’m shaking after watching that. Never before have I been on the edge of my seat for a match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Standard recap leading to Edge and Show coming out first. Cena’s old rap song comes on and an army of John Cenas come out. There must be 80 or so of them. They all do You Can’t See Me and then Cena’s music hits. Pretty cool visual. We get the big match indroduction which I always love. Cena gets a decent pop with boos mixed in.

Edge is champion coming in here. We head into the triple threat formula almost immediately with various people being knocked out for awhile each. That’s fine but it gets rather repetitive. About five minutes pass with nothing but various one on one combinations. That’s not terribly interesting but it’s what we’ve come to expect in these things.

Cena hits his top rope Fameasser off the top rope and down goes Show. Off to Edge vs. Cena as I doubt Show will be in there for awhile. Edgecution gets two. More weak stuff here as Show is in faster than I expected him to be here. Chavo of all people runs out to save Show and takes an FU for his troubles.

Show gets tied up in the ropes and loudly shouts GET ME OUT OF HERE! Cena goes off on Edge as the fans aren’t really liking him. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge. Vickie gets up to save Edge but winds up getting speared onto Chavo. Both guys go down and Show is still stuck. Ah there he’s out.

Show goes off on them and manages to chokeslam Edge. FU attempt on Show but he gets out and drills Cena with the punch. Loud THANK YOU BIG SHOW chant from that. Edge gets a running spear through Show through the barricade. Back in the ring Cena counters the spear into the STFU.

Finally Show comes in for the save as this is actually pretty good. Back to Show vs. Edge for awhile as JR runs through Show’s measurements again. Show misses a Vader Bomb and here comes Cena again. The two non-monsters suplex Show in an always cool looking spot.

Everyone trades some more finishers and Edge gets a spear for two on Cena. Here’s your HOLY FREAKING CRAP spot of the match as Edge jumps on Show’s back with a sleeper so Cena is like screw it and picks up BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE IN THE FU! Edge falls off and Show takes the FU. Cena hits one on Edge onto Show for the pin and the title. Freaking sweetness.

Rating: B-. This was better than people gave it credit for. This wasn’t supposed to be the great and mighty be all end all title match and it wasn’t. It was a way to get the title onto Cena and make him look strong. It wasn’t bad and it accomplished its purpose. I liked it, but man this would have been better if it was three matches earlier.

WM 26 is in Phoenix.

HOF Ceremony. Austin drives his ATV around and has a mini beer bash to kill time. I have no problem with this at all. It was needed to give the fans a breather and it’s not like Austin doesn’t deserve it.

Attendance is announced, but not called a record as we kill off even more time.

Massive recap video beforehand which kills the time so dead it’s scary. They’ve hated each other since Evolution, Orton is nuts and kissed Stephanie, HHH snapped, Orton faked being insane, HHH can’t disqualified or he loses the title.
WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

In the back, HHH passes both McMahons. Orton’s entrance literally goes on nearly two and a half minutes. There’s no special ordeal or anything. He’s just walking really, really slowly. HHH’s intro is long but not as long. We get BMI. Orton gets an RKO inside of two minutes but goes for the Punt and misses. HHH is up in about a minute and hits the Pedigree. What in the world is going on here?

And remember, HHH can’t get disqualified in a match based on hate. This is going so slow that it’s painful. They’re moving like molasses out there for crying out loud (as I quote my inner Hayden Panitierre from Remember the Titans). HHH has a bad shoulder now. Orton takes over for a good while as he works on the arm.

I like the pace of this match as it’s very slow but more violent. That’s what this is supposed to be. You’re supposed to have a guy that’s completely insane and a guy that’s desperate to defend his wife’s honor. Would you expect guys to be using Greco-Roman style here?

I like the brawling stuff. Wait for it…wait for it…YES! We get an Orton chinlock! All is right with the world! This is a more physical style and while it’s not great, it’s also not awful. This match isn’t really building to anything though. Ok I’m thinking I’m changing my mind on the pacing thing. This needs to be FAR more brutal given the story backing it up. It’s similar to Kane/Undertaker at Mania 14 where they were supposed to be in a war and just weren’t at all.

Orton takes him down with the backbreaker for two. I love that dropkick that Orton has. HHH FINALLY sends Orton to the floor to break the very long stretch of momentum he’s had. On the floor HHH keeps teasing various weapons shots but won’t do them because of the title thing. He sets for the Pedigree but Orton backdrops him through the announce table.

Elevated DDT hits on the floor and HHH is more or less done. He beats the count of course and Orton mixes up his offense with various types of stomps. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.

Rating: F+. The ending was just a total letdown. Forget a good pace. This was a complete waste of time and had nothing good to offer at all. The ending is HHH’s revenge for his recent losses. Terrible way to close it out, absolutely terrible. Never in my life have I seen someone with a bigger ego. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever here for HHH to go over. Not a single one.

Orton was pushed to the moon recently and he gets nothing for it? Likely he’ll get the belt at Backlash or something, but this was a waste. Any credibility he has is killed. That was awful and I don’t want to see even the letter that comes after G for a long, long time. Horrible.

It’s the same issue that many recent Mania main events have had: it’s not a bad match, but there’s nothing mind blowing. It’s like they’re in safe mode or something. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.
Overall Rating: D. This show had one good match in it. That’s all. You have a decent opener so that was ok. Then the Women’s match was absolutely a disgrace. Never in my life have I seen a dumber thing. Seriously, we get a ten minute concert of all things and then you don’t even see the older divas, in a match for NOSTALGIA get introduced? My goodness that’s a joke. Plain and simple, that was pathetic.

That was to get a weak comedy act in when it could have been something very cool. Austin could come out at the end but not come out to beat up Jericho? That would have saved that whole thing. Hardys match was just ok. Not great but could have been worse by far. IC Title was to get to JBL quitting so I don’t even call that a match. Then we have the one match: Taker and HBK was an absolute classic, hands down.

Maybe not the best ever as Steamboat and Savage was almost too incredible to ever be passed, but this was by far the best match in many years. After that, the three way was ok and the main event was just a waste.

Overall, watch Taker and HBK and if you’re out of other good matches to watch, check out MITB and the Triple Threat. Other than that, avoid this show. Is it the worst Mania of all time? It’s not due to HBK/Taker, but that’s literally the only thing keeping it ahead of 2 and 9. Terrible show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 26, 1999
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a night removed from Fully Loaded where Steve Austin retained the WWF Title over the Undertaker in a first blood match, meaning Vince McMahon is gone FOREVER (yes FOREVER) from TV. The other big story saw HHH become the new #1 contender by defeating the Rock, which I’m sure will go nowhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the stills of last night’s main event as X-Pac interfered to cost Undertaker the match, getting rid of Vince for….eh I’ll give it a week.

JR: “Tonight, a new era begins on Raw.” I don’t want to imagine Vince Russo’s idea of a new era.

Opening sequence.

We cut to the back where Undertaker beats up X-Pac, plus Road Dogg for attempting to make a save. Undertaker drags X-Pac into the arena and chokes in the ring until Kane (looking rather slim) comes out for the save. This brings out Big Show and the numbers are too much for Kane, so the fans chant for Austin. The beatdown goes on for a good while as the WE WANT AUSTIN chants continue. Undertaker and Show shake hands and leave because we have a new evil alliance.

A long black limousine arrives and….it’s Vince, less than eight minutes into the show.

Chef Boyardee ad with the Rock, set to Gettin Cheffy With It. I remember this and it’s every bit as 1999 as you can get. In a good way.

During the break, Kane did a Darth Vader Revenge of the Sith scream before carrying X-Pac off. It must be a masked guy thing.

X-Pac is taken away in an ambulance.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Acolytes

Edge and Christian are challenging after the Acolytes won the titles last night. Hardcore Holly is guest ring announcer after the Acolytes attacked him last week. Holly: “Weighing in at a total combined weight of let’s say about a buck and a quarter, and that’s with Christian’s legs wrapped in Ace bandages to make them look bigger!” Christian and Faarooq start things off but since we can’t go that long without an angle, we’re told that Ken Shamrock has been hit by a car.

Christian spinwheel kicks Faarooq and hands it off to Edge, who gets headlocked by Bradshaw. A flying shoulder works a bit better on Bradshaw and the Canadian tagging continues, though Christian gets kicked in the face. It’s off to Faarooq without a tag but the Dominator is countered with a DDT. Edge comes in as everything breaks down, with Christian taking a fall away slam. Cue Gangrel to pull Christian to safety, leaving Edge to take a double powerbomb to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a shockingly coherent match for the era, even with the extra angle thrown in as a bonus. Edge and Christian were clearly very talented but had a little ways to go before they figured everything out. The Acolytes were still a good heel team here and there’s always some value in a team that physically dominant.

Holly declares himself the winner and goes after both Acolytes, earning himself a double spinebuster. Cue Kane to chokeslam everyone in sight before using the voice box to threaten Undertaker and Big Show. They hurt Sean so tonight he’s going to hurt them.

Shamrock has a bad arm but walks away from the EMTs. We see a clip of Shamrock being run over, which of course happened as X-Pac was leaving because coincidences are strong around here. Steve Blackman was driving.

Vince is in the arena.

Austin arrives, meaning JR thinks business is about to pick up.

Here’s Vince, without music, for the big address. He’s not here to break a promise and not to breach a contract. Instead he’s here to honor a promise and a contract, because he’s never lied to anyone. Last night, he failed for the first time in his life. He took two Stunners and the show ended with him laid out in a pool of beer. That’s not how fans want to remember him so tonight he’s here for a more formal farewell.

The fans aren’t exactly appreciative as Vince says he wants to be remembered as a handsome entrepreneur who had a lasting impact on our lives. This brings out Austin, which was just a matter of time. Vince says they seem to be far apart but in reality, they’re very much alike. No matter what happens, Vince will always consider himself to be the better man. Vince even offers his hand but Austin says that’s not happening after the last two years. You can guess where that hand can go instead.

A man like Vince can never beat an SOB like Austin, who wants JR to come in the ring. Austin wants JR to…..sing a song? Lawler: “SING A SONG?” Of course it’s the Goodbye Song, with an OH H*** YEAH thrown in for some flavor. Vince leaves, but does flip Austin off on the way out. Beer is consumed. Back on commentary, JR says that’s one of the best moments of his life. Lawler: “YOU’RE DRUNK!” I’m surprised they let Vince stay away this long, though stipulations lasting wasn’t Russo’s strong suit.

Post break Howard Finkel cries to Vince as he leaves. Vince: “Get the h*** away from me.”

Val Venis/Godfather vs. Droz/Prince Albert

Street fight so Venis is in a regular shirt and jeans. After some trash talk from Venis and Godfather’s regular pre-match speech, we’re ready to go with Droz and Albert in street clothes as well (Godfather is the only one in gear, which is why he’s a Hall of Famer). The brawl is on (as it should be) with Droz and Venis fighting on the floor as the big guys do the same inside.

They switch places with Godfather and Albert fighting in the crowd but a random guy in a white suit jumps Godfather (That would be the yet to be named Key, who would be Droz’s drug dealer but wasn’t around long enough to warrant a mention. He’s better known as Vic Grimes from ECW.). Not that it matters as a Ho Train and Money Shot finish Albert in short order.

Rock calls Michael Cole an idiot and puts a bunch of Rock shirts and gear on top of him. Rock: “Don’t move you puppet.” It took a lot of help for HHH to beat him last night so they’re not done. As for Billy Gunn, the lips are getting ripped off of his trunks and stuck….somewhere. Speaking of Chyna, he knows that she’s been licking her lips for him so she can get on his knees, pucker her lips, and then get her teeth kicked into her face. Some ROCKY chants and one more smack to Cole wrap things up. The charisma and energy from Rock are downright scary at times.

Ben Stiller, in the front row, is introduced to the crowd as the “man who loves Debra’s puppies.”

Here are HHH and Chyna for a chat. HHH doesn’t care what Austin did earlier tonight because after last night, it’s all about him. Man to man, HHH can beat him because he’s been watching Austin like a hawk for six months. Jesse Ventura and Chyna aren’t going to be factors at Summerslam (JR: “That would be different.”) because it’s going to be one on one. At Summerslam, Austin will learn that HHH is the Game.

Chyna says Rock doesn’t have the guts to come out here and say something to her face. Cue Rock, with Billy Gunn jumping him from behind. Well that was frighteningly obvious. A low blow drops Rock and Gunn says now Rock knows his role. The villains leave so Rock calls out Gunn and Chyna for a handicap match tonight. I know this is the peak of Gunn’s singles run but look at his shirt and try to take him seriously.

We recap the opening segment with X-Pac being injured, setting up Kane’s challenge.

Kane vs. Big Show/Undertaker

They really like handicap matches tonight. Paul Bearer is out with Undertaker and Show. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start until Kane and Show officially start. An enziguri staggers Show and Kane wants Undertaker. Kane drops Undertaker and heads outside for a nasty chair shot to Show’s head. Undertaker grabs the chair as well though and knocks Kane silly for the DQ.

Post match Kane pops up and gets chaired down as well. The beatdown is on until Road Dogg comes in, only to eat a chokeslam. The monsters stand extra tall.

Jeff Jarrett interrupts a Debra photo shoot because they have to do an interview.

Countdown to the Millennium. JR’s calculations say it ends in two weeks. Why yes, yes it does.

Here are Jarrett and Debra for a chat with Jarrett calling Ben Stiller into the ring. He’s rather excited to meet Debra but Jeff calls him off. Jeff knows that Stiller has a movie coming out (Mystery Men) so why is he in Cleveland. Stiller is here for some world class wrestling, such as seeing the new Intercontinental Champion, and of course he explains Mystery Men.

The only reason he didn’t cast Jarrett was there wasn’t a character powerful enough for him to play. Jeff wants to know his favorite wrestler, which would be…..the puppies. That means a Figure Four on Stiller until D’Lo Brown makes the save. Brown has to carry a cheering Stiller out.

Austin is still here.

Post break replays show that Stiller had his face on the Puppies during Brown’s save.

HHH goes into Austin’s locker room.

Here’s Women’s Champion Ivory for a chat. Everyone is wondering where Nicole Bass is but Bass isn’t good enough to stand in the same ring with her. She issues an open challenge to anyone in the crowd so here’s a woman, who gets knocked down with a belt shot to the head. Tori comes in for the quickly broken up catfight.

HHH leaves Austin’s locker room. JR: “I don’t think Austin was in there! Or was he???” Top level journalism.

Al Snow is still insane and shouting that it has to stop. A chihuahua comes in and barks, apparently saying that it can’t get worse. Snow: “What am I? Dr. Doolittle?”

HHH vs. Ken Shamrock

Apparently Austin wasn’t in the locker room but HHH trashed the place. There’s no Shamrock, so HHH calls him out for not wrestling after being hit by a car. Shamrock comes out in jeans with his arm and ribs taped. A takedown has HHH in trouble until he gets in a single shot to the ribs. Shamrock goes for the knee to little avail as HHH takes out the ribs again. There’s a gutbuster and more stomps to said ribs, followed by the rather logical abdominal stretch. More shoulders to the bad ribs have Shamrock bleeding from the mat (a trademark of his) and a bodyscissors makes the referee stop the match.

Rating: D+. The rib work made sense and it showed HHH being all aggressive here, but it’s weird seeing Shamrock getting squashed like this. It makes sense in this case though and there’s a big difference when he came in injured. HHH’s rise to the title has a weird feeling to it, mainly because he’s not over enough yet to really challenge Austin.

Post match HHH stays on the bad ribs even more with no one making the save.

Undertaker says the days of scary music and scary entrances are over. He and Show are taking over.

Test destroys Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse.

Chyna/Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

The still sweaty HHH is on commentary. Chyna stays on the floor to start as Rock beats the fire out of Gunn. Rock punches him to the floor and punches away even more, including a right hand to the side of Chyna’s head. As the beatdown goes on, HHH is on his feet and yelling at JR about how he can beat Austin for the title. Chyna gets in a kick to the back and let’s look at HHH ranting about Ventura and Austin some more.

Rock punches Chyna some more but gets caught with a DDT for two. The villains beat on Rock even more as HHH talks about knowing when Austin breathes and sleeps. So he’s a stalker. We cut to HHH again and then look at Austin watching in the back. Gunn grabs a chinlock and let’s look at HHH knocking off JR’s hat. My goodness calm down with the camera cuts already. Rock grabs a DDT for two and the Samoan drop sets up a low blow.

Chyna gets knocked outside and Rock’s Cactus Clothesline sends Gunn outside. That lets HHH get in a cheap shot, sending JR into a rant about how unfair that was. Back in and Gunn’s own cheap shot keeps Rock in trouble and there’s a….nother camera cut to HHH yelling at JR, though at least this time he punches JR in the face. Cue Austin for the fight as the Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow hit Gunn, though we go off the air before the pin.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course, though I was rather relieved that they did do something with HHH yelling at JR over and over. Rock vs. Gunn just is not working and offers a lot more proof about how big the gap was between Austin and Rock at this point. Yeah Rock was a star, but he was nowhere near the star Austin was here, which is a rather annoying and inaccurate myth that has been created. Right now, Austin is about to headline Summerslam while Rock is feuding with a guy who wrestles in a thong with a mesh covering. Rock’s time would come, but it wasn’t here yet, no matter what his fans think.

Hang on we’re not done though as this show includes a special Extra Attitude video as the cameras keep rolling. Rock, Gunn and Chyna leave as HHH and Austin keep fighting at ringside. Austin sends him into the steps but gets dropped onto the barricade. They head inside with HHH choking until Austin hits a quick Stunner. Austin actually drops a middle rope elbow as the music is playing and beer is consumed. We’re still not done though as Chyna comes back in for a low blow. HHH gets back up but Austin beats them both up (including an awful Stunner to Chyna). Even more beer is consumed to finally end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a good show, but it was miles ahead of the last few weeks. The main reason this worked so much better was having a point to the big stories. It’s like we have a goal in mind now instead of just filling in whatever they can week to week before getting to the worthless Fully Loaded show. Now everything is moving towards Summerslam and that gives the show a much needed focus. There are still a lot of problems, but we have something to build towards now, which makes a world of difference.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 19,776
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In addition to the four way title match, there are two other multi-man matches of note. First, Kurt Angle will be defending his Intercontinental and European Titles in back to back triple threat matches (considered one match with two falls) against Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Other than that, the tag division is getting a big boost with the Hardy Boyz, the Dudley Boyz (also recent arrivals) and Edge and Christian in the first ever triangle ladder match for the Tag Team Titles. Let’s get to it.

One last note: this show marks the return to the 3+ hour shows after years of under three hours.

Lillian Garcia sings the heck out of the National Anthem, as she always does.

The opening video focuses on the history of Wrestlemania for a few moments before jumping into the four way main event. They make sure to mention the McMahon in every corner and how it’s all about the four of them. This was a major problem with the match which we’ll get to later but it’s certainly true.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Godfather is now a full on pimp and Brown is his partner in good guy crime. Buchanan is an athletic big man and Boss Man’s protege who never went beyond the low midcard. Ice T raps Brown and Godfather to the ring with a song called Pimp or Die. Of note: one of the Godfather’s women clearly falls down as she reaches ringside with the camera catching her going down. Godfather gives his usual speech about pimping nationwide and tells us to light up our blunts and say pimpin ain’t easy. This was quite the different time as you might be able to tell.

Brown and Buchanan get things going with D’Lo kicking him in the face and Godfather clotheslining an invading Boss Man. Godfather, in his shiny silver top, comes in for the spinning legdrop. A hook kick puts Boss Man down for two before it’s back to Buchanan and Brown with Bull doing his awesome run up the corner into a spinning top rope clothesline. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of his good moves so it’s back to Boss Man for two off an uppercut.

Lawler continues to oogle the lady in red as Brown keeps taking his beating. A cross body goes badly for D’Lo and JR compares it to a fair catch in the XFL. JR: “Which won’t exist.” Godfather shakes the ropes to crotch Buchanan and Brown brings him down with a top rope hurricanrana. The hot tag brings in Godfather for some house cleaning and everything breaks down, allowing Boss Man to hit his namesake slam, followed by a guillotine legdrop (and a good one) from Buchanan for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D. Buchanan’s stuff looked good but who thought it was a good idea to have the heels, especially these heels, win the opening match? The length didn’t help this either. Godfather was starting to outlive his usefulness as an opening act at this point, partially due to the Parents Television Council complaining about the adult nature of the character. This would lead to a major change of pace for Godfather, which we’ll get to later on.

HHH and Women’s Champion Stephanie are loving life in the back.

Earlier today, the referees held a conference with all the participants in the hardcore battle royal. The title had been defended 24/7 with title matches taking place at any given time and in any given place. For tonight though, the rule is only enforced for the fifteen minute time limit. After that time comes to an end, the last person to pin the champion leaves with the title.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash (Hardcore’s cousin) is defending coming in, meaning he has to be pinned or made to submit for the title to change hands in the first place. Tazz is still the Human Suplex Machine here a fierce guy despite his smaller stature. Funaki is Taka’s partner in Kai En Tai. It’s a big brawl to start with only Tazz and Crash staying in the ring. A suplex makes Tazz champion in 24 seconds, and yes these title reigns are all official. Viscera rams Tazz into the post and slams him down for the pin at 1:00.

The Mean Street Posse gets together for some weapon shots to Viscera to almost no avail. Crash is already busted open. The Acolytes beat Viscera up instead and everyone else beats on each other. Funaki hits Mosh with a box fan and Bradshaw cleans house with a cookie sheet. Some people finally start going after Viscera but he easily kicks out. We’re under ten minutes now and Pete Gas is bleeding too.

Viscera holds court in the ring with the cookie sheets but goes up top for no logical reason. The Acolytes destroy Kai En Tai with Taka taking a wicked powerbomb before going over to slam Viscera down. Some 2×4 shots to the back and a top rope shoulder from Bradshaw allows them to throw Kai En Tai on top, giving Funaki the pin at 7:51. Taka immediately goes after his partner but Funaki is suddenly the smartest man in the match as he runs away. The Posse catches up to him though and Rodney throws him against a wall for the pin and the title at 8:11 in his only televised pinfall.

Joey runs in with a gutwrench suplex for the pin and the title at 8:24. Thrasher clotheslines Joey for the title at 8:46. Thrasher tries to run away but gets attacked by a bunch of people with a weapon each. Somehow he survives though, only to get sprayed with a fire extinguisher by Pete Gas for the pin and the title at 9:29. That would be Pete’s second and final pin on TV.

With just under five minutes left, Tazz grabs a suplex for the pin at 10:17. Hardcore immediately sends him into the steps for two but Mosh decks Hardcore from behind. Probably out of instinct, Tazz covers Mosh for two. Tazz fights both Holly cousins inside as Bradshaw beats up the Posse out of pure principle. We have two minutes left and the cousins start trying to pin Tazz and Hardcore’s dropkick gets two. Crash hits Tazz in the head with a cookie sheet for the pin and the title at 14:20 but Tazz is right up with the Tazmission (his signature choke).

Hardcore comes back in with a candy jar to bust over Tazz’s head (and getting a piece of glass in his eye, though Tazz was fine.) and covers Crash but the ending is screwed up. Hardcore was supposed to have him beaten as the time expired but he came in early, meaning the referee has to stop the count for no good reason. Not that it matters as Hardcore is declared the new champion at 15:00 to end the match.

Rating: D+. Well that certainly happened. This really needed to have about five minutes cut out as you can only get into people hitting each other with the same weapons for so long (a lesson they would take two years to learn). The rapid fire title changes and stuff like the Posse trading the title was fine but this started dragging in the middle. Crash would get the title back the next night to fix the error at the end.

Long Axxess video.

Al Snow is in a bathroom and talking to someone we can’t see. His partner Steve Blackman comes in to say play it serious tonight. They comprise the team of Head Cheese because Snow has Head and…..well what else would you call them?

Head Cheese vs. T&A

T&A are Test and Albert (a big bald power guy) with the recently debuted Trish Stratus (when she was in even better shape than when she was in her peak years) as their manager. Snow brings out the man from the bathroom: the team’s new mascot Chester McCheeserton, a guy in a cheese costume. The audio starts crackling and JR’s microphone goes out for a bit (Lawler is very happy) as Blackman kicks Test in the face to start.

Snow comes in and gets double teamed until it’s off to Blackman to trade shoulders with Albert. Everything breaks down for a bit as the fans are just quiet here. You can see a lot of empty seats where people are getting popcorn during this match and I can’t blame them. Albert gets in trouble as the cheese goes after Trish who rightfully ignores him. Blackman’s middle rope headbutt gets two as Lawler calls the cheese Chester the Molester. A butterfly suplex finally gets Albert out of trouble and it’s off to Test for two off a side slam.

Albert comes back in for a big double powerbomb on Al as JR is using his code (“These styles are clashing” and “It’s bowling shoe ugly”) to say this match is horrible. Snow drops a middle rope leg on Test but Albert saves to keep this mess going. The Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) puts Snow on the floor and Albert gorilla presses Blackman, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: F. This match is in the running for the worst match in Wrestlemania history. The joke before the match was terrible, the match was AWFUL, the story was non-existent and the silence from the fans who stayed in the arena was eerie. Other than Trish, I saw nothing good about this and no redeeming value. It’s a total failure all around.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester in a really mean and out of character attack. The team didn’t go anywhere or last long in case you weren’t sure.

We get the comedy spot of the show with female wrestler the Kat sans clothing in her dressing room but her veteran manager Mae Young keeps putting various things in front of various parts of Kat. I’m sure you get the joke.

D-Von Dudley thinks this ladder match is another way for the WWF to hold the Dudleyz down. Bubba, still with a thick southern accent, promises to take Wrestlemania and the ladder match to a new level of violence. His stutter kicks in right before he can drop an F bomb.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

These three teams have been feuding with each other for months. Edge and Christian and the Hardyz had a great ladder match last year so why not add the Dudleyz (defending here) and make it a three way ladder match? Officially this is a triangle ladder match but it’s really just Tables, Ladders and Chairs (TLC) before the TLC match was named.

Everyone brawls to start and it’s going to be almost impossible to keep track of everything going on. Jeff takes Bubba out with the Whisper in the Wind but gets caught in the Bubba Bomb. Christian brings in the first ladder but Matt makes the save. All six get inside and a second ladder is loaded up.

Instead of climbing though, both challenging teams put a ladder over a Dudley in the corners, only to have the Hardyz take out Edge and Christian. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but Bubba avoids the 450 for the first big crash. Bubba one ups Jeff by putting the ladder onto Jeff and hitting his middle rope backsplash with his own head crashing into the ladder.

Christian puts a ladder on Matt so Edge can ride another ladder down to crush Matt. With everyone else down, Bubba puts a ladder around his own head and spins around to blast everyone not named D-Von in the face. Edge and Christian dropkick the ladder to take over though before nailing D-Von as well. Christian dives off a ladder to take out Matt and Bubba, leaving Edge to spear Jeff off a ladder.

Now it’s D-Von going up so Christian just throws a ladder at him for the save. A HUGE Bubba Cutter brings Christian down and now the fans are understanding what they’re in for with this one. The Hardys’ legdrop/splash combo from the ladders brings the people to their feet again as the match starts to slow down a bit due to all of the crashing.

A double superplex off the ladder brings D-Von down, leaving Edge and Christian and the Hardys to climb two ladders, only to knock each other off for some huge crashes. There’s not much else you can do here aside from just listing spots as it’s one big move after another. Now all six go up on three ladders with Jeff and Christian falling all the way down to the floor (with NOTHING to catch them). Bubba goes down as well and ever the spoiled sport, he shoves the other two ladders and all three other guys down against the ropes.

The Dudleyz are left alone so they pick up the ladders and crush Christian, who somehow can still walk. 3D takes Edge down (thankfully not onto a ladder) and now it’s table time. Why the Dudleyz need those isn’t clear but why let common sense get in the way of your gimmick. To crank things up though, the Dudleyz put a table on top of two ladders like a scaffold. Another pair of tables is set under the scaffold but D-Von’s headbutt misses Jeff and only hits table.

Bubba keeps his team’s fortunes up by powerbombing Matt off the announcers’ table and through another ladder at ringside. Jeff gets up and tries to run across the barricade as is his custom but Bubba pelts a ladder at him. There’s something to cringe worthy about someone flying through the air and crashing into a big piece of metal.

Now we start the tradition of the huge ladder, which is set up on the floor and is almost as high as the ones in the ring. Jeff is laid out in front of it but Christian hits Bubba in the head with the bell, allowing Jeff to go for a climb. With nothing to lose (save for most of the bones in his spine), Jeff Swantons off the ladder for one of the biggest crashes ever up to this point. The wide shot makes it look even better and the fans are rightfully stunned.

Back in the ring, Christian and Matt climb onto the scaffold but Edge shoves Matt off and through the last table in the ring. The table almost explodes as Matt crashes through it and the fans are fired up all over again as Edge and Christian pull down the titles for their first championship at 22:25.

Rating: A-. This was a different kind of match than these three teams would have later on as they were just going from spot to spot here without the flow that they would have. However, this is still an amazing spectacle that got the fans into things once they gave it a chance to get going. This was ALL about going higher and higher with each step, but they didn’t know how high they could go yet. Later the matches would be about seeing how high they could take it and the results would be pure carnage. Here it’s more about fitting stuff in but it’s still an awesome match.

Mick Foley (not Mankind or Cactus Jack) is with Linda and says that this is the biggest match on the biggest show of the year so it’s the biggest match of his life. Fairy tales can come true and it could happen to HHH, Rock and Big Show, BUT IT WON’T because it’s happening to him.

JR and Lawler rave about the ladder match.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

This is billed as a catfight and is more about the managers (Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young respectfully) than the wrestlers. Val Venis is the referee (sporting a referee towel instead of shirt) and you win by throwing your opponent to the floor, making it a two man battle royal. They’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is just a cool down match after the previous war. These two don’t really have a reason for fighting other than being catty with each other.

Before the match, Venis does one of his signature innuendo laden promo, talking about how he and Wrestlemania are both extravaganzas that get your blood pumping, but Wrestlemania only comes once a year. Both women are in see thru bodysuits with bikinis underneath. Kat’s is made of fishnet, thereby making her Lawler’s favorite.

They brawl to start until Val breaks it up, only to have both of them kiss him. Kat spears her down but Mae gets on the apron to try to flash Val. Terri is thrown to the floor but the referee doesn’t see it, meaning it’s time for Mae to kiss Val as well. Both girls actually in the match fall outside but Moolah throws Terri back inside for the win at 2:26. Total mess of course, but at least they didn’t try to hide what they were doing here.

Mae gives Moolah a Bronco Buster post match and Kat strips Terri.

Wrestlemania XVII will be in Houston.

The Radicalz (minus Chris Benoit) are ready for the six person tag but Eddie is too busy checking his hair to impress Chyna.

Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay and Scotty 2 Hotty, formerly Too Much) and Chyna are ready too.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

It’s Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn here. Eddie has been hitting on Chyna lately so she got some help and it’s time for a tag match. Too Cool has gone from jokes to a nice surprise as a midcard act due to getting over and the company giving them a chance. That is almost blasphemy today. Chyna has her fireworks bazooka which was actually pretty cool.

Eddie and Scotty get things going as the fans are all over Guerrero, likely due to him knocking off Scotty’s hat. It’s quickly off to Chyna, sending Eddie crawling over on his knees to grab Malenko’s legs. JR says Chyna looks hot, which is very outside of his standard character. A double suplex puts Dean down and it’s time for Chyna to dance. Now it’s Grandmaster suplexing Eddie down but Saturn breaks up the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop).

Saturn goes even more evil by stealing Grandmaster’s bandana, which just makes Grandmaster look stupid. Scotty comes in and is quickly hot shotted to keep the Radicalz in control. The fans only care about Eddie and Chyna here and Guerrero soaks it all up like the master he was. Grandmaster’s interference only works for a bit and Scotty busts out a double Worm, followed by Saturn kicking him in the face.

Saturn (barely) hits a top rope elbow but Eddie gets superplexed, finally allowing the hot tag to Chyna. House is quickly cleaned and a double low blow gets rid of Saturn and Malenko. Chyna is barely able to powerbomb Eddie so she grabs him between the legs and gorilla presses him while trying to keep the side of her tights from splitting any further. A quick sleeper drop puts Eddie away at 9:39.

Rating: C-. Watchable but mostly average match with the fans only caring about Eddie vs. Chyna, which was quite the hot story around this time. Things would pick up even more the next night as Chyna suddenly fell for the Latino Heat and hooked up with Eddie for months. This was an acceptable use of ten minutes, if nothing else as a way to advance the Eddie vs. Chyna story.

Some fans won a trip to Wrestlemania.

Shane and Big Show say they’ll win and that it’s Game Over.

Earlier tonight, Kurt Angle beat up Bob Backlund for suggesting that he defend both titles. This goes nowhere.

Angle asks for some extra security for his victory celebration and offers the guard autographs if he does it. Smug Angle was pure gold and one of the most genuinely hilarious characters the company has ever had. He was such a goofy dork but he sold the whole thing as well as anyone could have done. The in ring abilities made it even better but the character made Angle greater than anything he did in a match.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is a two fall match with Angle defending the Intercontinental Title first and the European Title second. The three of them have been feuding for months with Angle taking the Intercontinental Title from Jericho last month at No Way Out 2000. Before the match, Jericho says he can’t guarantee that he’ll walk out a champion but he can guarantee that Benoit and Angle will have bumps and bruises from a Y2J beating that they will never EVER forget again. So they’ll forget it at least once?

Angle gets chopped down to start as Lawler calls Backlund an idiot for setting this up. Jericho’s springboard dropkick is broken up by Benoit so Jericho dropkicks them both outside at the same time. Angle gets in his first offense with a flapjack to send Jericho into the steps. Back in and Benoit trades suplexes with Angle as Lawler channels Bobby Heenan by praising Angle for everything.

Jericho goes up again and Benoit shoves him down again, making me think that Jericho needs to adjust his strategy. He tries ANOTHER dropkick from the ropes, this time getting two on Angle as Benoit makes the save. A camel clutch on Benoit doesn’t get Jericho anywhere so he goes back to Angle, only to get caught in the crossface chickenwing. Jericho starts to fade but Benoit comes back in and throws Angle to the floor. A quick Swan Dive is good for the pin on Jericho, giving Benoit the Intercontinental Title at 7:56.

Angle is all ticked off and starts erupting with suplexes to Benoit, only to have Jericho break up the moonsault. Benoit belly to back superplexes Jericho down and rolls away from a great looking moonsault to leave all three guys down. Back up and it’s Jericho taking over with a forearm and spinwheel kick, followed by the double powerbomb (one powerbomb after another without breaking his grip) to Angle.

Benoit is right back in with the rolling Germans for two on Jericho. Angle takes a German of his own and the referee counts even though Kurt’s shoulder is WAY off the mat. What a patriot. Benoit makes Jericho tap to the Crossface but the ref got bumped. Serves him right for trying to cheat an American hero. Just like everyone else, Benoit lets go of the hold instead of doing as much damage to Jericho as possible. Angle avoids another Swan Dive but Jericho is right back up with a Lionsault for the pin on Benoit and the European Title at 13:48 total.

Rating: B. This is quite the concept and there’s no way any combination of these three can go wrong. It’s also a very efficient way to get both titles off Angle without having him, the hottest prospect of them all, get pinned or have to tap out. Also well done on not having the standard triple threat formula and just letting everyone fight at the same time with the guys being down for logical reasons instead of the script calling for it. Good match, good idea, very good execution. What more can you ask for?

Vince says that Rock is very confident that Rock will win tonight. Rock however isn’t there with him. Vince guarantees to make it right tonight. You can see the swerve coming from here.

HHH promises Stephanie that he won’t allow himself to be beaten tonight.

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Kane

Rikishi is finally in his most famous gimmick and near his highest popularity. Kane has the always awesome inverted color scheme for his attire and Paul Bearer in his corner. X-Pac and Road Dogg, the once again heel DX, have Tori (now a hot valet) with them. Tori left Kane for X-Pac and this is the result with the many showdowns coming later. Kane goes after Tori to start and Road Dogg gets an early Stink Face.

Tori has to be saved from the same fate and DX’s attempt to leave fails. We settle down and X-Pac gets in a Bronco Buster on Rikishi before it’s off to Road Dogg for the dancing punches. Rikishi shrugs them off and brings in Kane for the big monster offense, but Kane goes after Tori instead. The Stink Face works this time and Kane Tombstones X-Pac for the pin at 4:14.

Rating: D. The match was bad but there’s another reason this is happening which we’ll get to in a few seconds. Rikishi was helping fight DX so he fit in here, but this was little more than filler. Kane’s attire and Tori as a good blonde there to look good and make you hate X-Pac even more worked fine.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to dance. Kane doesn’t buy it but the Chicken dances a lot better than you would expect from Rose. After they’re done, Kane goes after the Chicken but Pete Rose runs in with the ball bat, only to get chokeslammed, followed by a Stink Face to end this saga once and for all. Well until Rose showed up on Raw about ten years later. Rose certainly did whatever he needed to do and turned this one idea into an awesome three year running joke.

Rock talks about going through everything in the last year to get back to Wrestlemania to reclaim his title. All the chokeslams, all the Mandible Claws and all the Pedigrees are worth it because he has one more shot to become champion. This is the intense Rock and it works almost as well as the funny version. He skips the eyebrow though.

Martin Short, Michael Clarke Duncan and French Stewart are here.

Again no official recap, but HHH retired Foley, Rock won the Rumble and Show proved that he really won the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Mick Foley vs. Big Show vs. The Rock vs. HHH

Elimination rules and No DQ. HHH is defending and we’ve got a rare occurrence of all four McMahons in one place. Rock and Vince come out together here for their first appearance together tonight. Show and Rock pair off while Foley pounds the champ down in the corner with some fast punches. With Rock down in the corner, Show runs the other two over with a double clothesline. Show can’t pick which guy to beat up so Foley jumps on his back, giving us a repeat of last year’s spot with Show falling backwards to crush Foley’s ribs.

Mick is right back up to break up a chokeslam to HHH (why would he do that?) and it’s a triple team on Big Show. Three straight clotheslines put the giant down but HHH just can’t work with Foley that long and a fight breaks out again. Show kicks Rock in the face but Foley hits Show in the back with a chair, knocking him into the Rock Bottom for the pin to get rid of the giant at 4:50. What a worthless addition Show was.

The three remaining guys all stare at each other and it’s HHH trying to strike a deal with both of them. Rock actually goes for it before nailing HHH from behind and the double teaming is on. They all head outside where Rock accidentally hits Foley with the bell, making Lawler even happier than in the women’s match earlier. Rock isn’t as strong as you would think though as Foley is up just a few seconds later….and he has a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. HHH low blows him to take it away though and hits Foley in the ribs but AGAIN Foley doesn’t seem in that much trouble.

This time it’s the Mandible Claw on HHH, who turns into a belt shot from Rock. The People’s Elbow is broken up by a Mandible Claw to Rock but the champ low blows them both to put all three down. Foley’s double arm DDT gets two on Rock and Rock’s single arm version gets the same with HHH making the save for some reason. Mick and HHH actually work together on Rock with Foley’s knee lift getting two (No save from HHH, making Rock look more like a threat than Foley, who HHH believes he can beat. That’s a nice touch.).

The double teaming continues on the floor but Rock whips Mick knees first into the steps. Foley pops up for the third time though and nails Rock with the steps. HHH loads up the Spanish announcers’ table and has Foley go to the middle rope for the elbow….which is left about three feet short, sending him ribs first into the table in a very sad sight. HHH has to drop about three elbows to put Rock through the table before taking Foley inside for the Pedigree……for two? JR: “HE DID IT!” A BIG chair to the head sets up the second Pedigree (with Foley collapsing) for the pin at 19:40, sending Foley into retirement for four years.

Foley takes one last bow but comes back to the ring for one good barbed wire 2×4 shot to HHH’s head (busting him open) to go out on. Somehow that’s only good for two for Rock so let’s go outside again. Rock beats him up in front of the Titantron and takes it back to ringside. HHH swings a chair to knock the steps into Rock’s face, followed by a piledriver onto the steps. This is the main event of Wrestlemania though so it’s finishers or rollups only, meaning Rock kicks out at two again.

The Pedigree is broken up and they go into the crowd for more time killing brawling. Back to ringside again with Rock suplexing the champ through the announcers’ table and it’s time for more waiting. HHH is up first but Vince sends him into the post, only to have Shane (why is he still here?) hit his dad from behind. Well you knew this was coming. A big monitor shot to the head knocks Vince silly but he’s up after a ridiculous TWENTY THREE SECONDS. Vince just got hit in the head with a monitor and he’s up and going after Shane in less than thirty seconds. Who is this match supposed to showcase again?

Shane opts for a chair shot to the head and this time Vince stays down, even shedding some blood. We FINALLY go back to the match with Rock DDTing HHH, drawing Stephanie’s ridiculous looking bug eyes. The barbed wire board to Rock’s head stuns him but he’s still able to catapult HHH into Shane. HHH walks into the Rock Bottom but here’s Vince to punch Shane….and then hit Rock with a chair because SWERVE! Rock kicks out at two so Vince hits him in the head with the chair again, giving HHH the pin to retain at 36:31. That’s the first time a heel has left Wrestlemania as champion.

Rating: C+. Oh man this is a rough one. Above all else, the McMahons. They started off as background noise but by the end they were the only things that mattered here as it turned into yet another Vince/Shane/Stephanie drama, which had been the big story for the last year in one form or another. They pretty much gave away the Vince turn earlier and that doesn’t help an already bad idea.

That leaves us with the match itself, which really isn’t very good. The problem here is that they clearly spend so much time laying around and filling in time because the match goes longer than it should. Now that being said, it’s still Rock vs. HHH for eighteen minutes after Rock vs. HHH vs. Foley for about fifteen minutes so the action is at least watchable. The problem is there’s not enough action or excitement.

There were barely any near falls or moments of drama once it got down to one on one. You have the cover after Foley left (not happening), the piledriver on the steps (maybe) and the first chair shot from Vince (good near fall). You really need more than that in a long match, especially with all this other drama that really adds nothing on the outside. What you have instead is a lot of brawling, a lot of selling (fine, but not when it’s selling on the floor with no drama) and a lot of being on the floor or in the crowd. The action was good but it was bogged down by too much other stuff.

So how do you fix it? You have Rock vs. HHH instead of the four way. I understand the idea here but it’s not the kind of match to end Wrestlemania. If you want to do the four way, do it at Backlash where the pressure is gone and go with the big title win here. Foley not being around would have been a loss, but the match would have been better overall, unless you don’t have Rock in the main event here, which would mean changing the booking months before Wrestlemania. The four way was unique but it really didn’t work in this spot, at least not like it needed to do.

Vince and Stephanie reunite but Vince yells at Shane. Rock comes back in to lay out all three of them with Rock Bottoms and a People’s Elbow to Stephanie (to be fair, she slapped him after he beat up Vince and Shane). Rock poses a lot to take us to the highlight package.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s the biggest show of the year in the best year they ever had and I think they just collapsed under the weight. You had two really good matches to carry the show but the main event is more like a disappointing experiment. The rest ranges from bad to wasting time with some bizarre choices like the Head Cheese mess.

The strangest part here is what this led to, as Backlash later in the month would be the show of the year with all the fallout from Wrestlemania, including Rock beating HHH to win the World Title. There are FAR worse Wrestlemanias but this was really more like a commercial for the next few months. Check out the triple threat and the ladder match but just get to the next year’s show otherwise.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: D+

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/25/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xvi-the-worst-show-from-the-best-year/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat being sans clothing and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a certain part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87^th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6