IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 29, 2004
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things have changed in a big way around here as Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit has jumped over to Monday Night Raw to go after HHH and the World Heavyweight Championship. That leaves a pretty big hole to fill at the top of the card and I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Sounds like Wrestlemania season to me. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul Heyman is in the ring but here’s Vince McMahon to interrupt. Well that’s a big way to start things up. Heyman rightfully looks terrified as Vince yells about how this should have been a celebration of Chris Benoit winning the Royal Rumble. Benoit isn’t going to be here tonight though because he’s on Raw now with Steve Austin. This is all Heyman’s fault because Benoit used the legal loophole of the Royal Rumble winner not having to face a specific champion at Wrestlemania. That’s a much better worded explanation than the somewhat jumbled version we got on Raw.

Heyman goes into a rant about people bailing on Vince over the years and how Vince would say SCREW THEM because it’s time to give someone else a chance. With Vince asking for the point, Heyman says someone else is getting a chance tonight with a 15 man Royal Rumble for a title shot at No Way Out. The fifteen people will be the ones who were in the Rumble on Sunday but the injured Matt Morgan and the gone Benoit will be replaced by Hardcore Holly and Eddie Guerrero. Vince signs off on it and Heyman looks relieved.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London

Kidman and London are challenging. An early headscissors puts Danny down as Cole points out that Kidman and London haven’t teamed together many times. Hence why they’re #1 contenders of course. Danny low bridges London to the floor and makes the blind switch, setting up a spinning belly to back suplex for two.

The champs start in on London’s back as the announcers talk about the Royal Rumble tonight. London finally rolls Doug away and gets the tag off to Kidman to clean house. An enziguri gets two on Doug and there’s the BK Bomb to make things worse. Another switch lets Danny crotch Kidman on top though and a hanging DDT out of the corner retains the titles.

Rating: D. The time killed this as there’s not much you can do in less than four minutes. At least they’ve gotten away from having Shaniqua be the focus of the champions as that wasn’t doing anyone any favors. It also doesn’t do the company any favors to have two tag divisions on life support but that’s been the case for a long time now.

Angle is in Heyman’s office to draw his number, which he again dedicates to the troops. He gets his number and runs off, seeming to be a bit nervous.

Chavo Guerrero Sr. is worried about Chavo Jr.’s injuries at Eddie’s hands. Jr. says his injuries will heal but the internal scars will never go away. He swears revenge on Eddie so he can prove that he’s the real star.

Eddie is happy with his number. Rey Mysterio comes in, along with boxing champion Jorge Paez. Spanish is spoken and Rey is ready to defend the Cruiserweight Title.

John Cena hits on Dawn Marie and tells her to grab his ball. Heyman comes in to say she’s not grabbing anyone’s balls. Cena calls him Captain Buzzkill and seems to like his number. Rhyno comes in and asks Cena about his knee. That earns him a bad smell joke, with Cena saying Heyman has the soap.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and Noble has the blind Nidia with him in a Rumble rematch. Rey takes him down to the mat for some grappling with Noble getting the better of it. The test of strength is countered with a monkey flip and Noble gets knocked into the ropes. It’s way too early for the 619 though as Noble elbows him in the face but accidentally gets tripped by Nidia again. Thankfully they don’t repeat Sunday’s ending as Noble gets up at two and starts in on Mysterio’s back.

It’s off to a seated abdominal stretch before Noble bends the ribs and back around the post. That always looks so painful. A superplex plants Rey but Jamie can’t follow up. The delay lets Mysterio start the comeback and a Code Red gets two. Now the 619 can connect but Rey gets sent outside after missing the West Coast Pop. Jamie goes up top but Nidia accidentally gets in his way. He throws her inside but she avoids a charge, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing how much better this was when you give them a little more time and a story to the match to let the match go somewhere. Noble and Mysterio are both talented performers and when they’re given a few resources, you can have a good match. The Nidia story needed to go somewhere a few weeks ago but it’s nice to have them finally do something with her.

Post match the sunglasses come off and Nidia can see. Cole: “Nidia just screwed her boyfriend!” That’s not very PG.

New correspondent RUe (the R and U are both capitalized on screen) De Bona talks about the history of WWE and Playboy because we’re still not supposed to know about Sable and Torrie Wilson being in Playboy.

Big Show takes his turn to hit on Dawn Marie (understandable) and draws his number.

Brock Lesnar isn’t happy with Goldberg and wants to teach him a lesson. He’s tired of hearing about Goldberg, who is just a Brock Lesnar wannabe. His method of dealing with Goldberg: a non-title open challenge for tonight.

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are drawing numbers when someone runs in to say Eddie has been attacked. Medics are checking on him with Rey at his side when the Chavos come in to ask what happened. Rey chases them off.

Post break, Eddie is taken away in an ambulance.

Brock Lesnar vs. Orlando Jordan

Non-title. Brock wastes no time in firing off the shoulders in the corner to put Jordan on the floor. Back in and Jordan hits a quick dropkick from behind to put Lesnar on the floor, which isn’t the best idea in the world. Some rights and lefts just annoy Lesnar so he snaps off a powerslam. It’s off to an arm trap choke that Lesnar spent most of the match on against Holly. Jordan fights out and hits some more dropkicks but gets caught in the Brock Lock for the tap.

Rating: D-. A match that doesn’t even make it four and a half minutes doesn’t need a hold that lasts over a minute. Lesnar slumming it lately isn’t doing anyone much good, mainly the audience as these things have been not only bad, but really dull. Jordan doesn’t belong on the main roster as he’s just not any good and could be any career jobber.

Wrestlers went to Walter Reed Military Hospital.

We look at Undertaker’s gong leading to Kane being eliminated on Sunday and distracting him again on Monday.

Vince isn’t worried because Undertaker is dead and buried. Wrestling heels being cocky and stupid is one of my favorite tropes.

Angle accuses Heyman of sending the Chavos after Eddie but Heyman says Eddie has regained consciousness. Chavo Jr. isn’t taking Eddie’s place as Angle thinks so Angle’s odds go up if Eddie isn’t out there.

Royal Rumble

Kurt Angle is in at #1 and Rhyno is in at #2 with 90 second intervals. Rhyno wastes no time in hitting a Gore but instead of going for an elimination, he stomps away in the corner. An Angle Slam cuts Rhyno off and it’s Charlie Haas in at #3. He punches both guys and hits a dropkick on Angle can’t get rid of Rhyno. Angle slips back in from the apron and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #4. Benjamin goes after Angle as well with the exploder suplex and Rhyno takes the jump over Haas’ back onto his own back.

Bradshaw is in at #5 for the Clothesline to Rhyno and a big boot to Benjamin. We take an abrupt break and come back with Tajiri in at #7 after Cat, in at #6, has already been eliminated. Of course we go through a full replay of his dancing, because IT’S JUST SO FUNNY. We come back with Billy Gunn coming in at #8 for a Fameasser on Bradshaw. Tajiri adds a Buzzsaw kick as the ring is about as full as it needs to be. Angle gets the ankle lock on Benjamin and it’s Big Show in at #9 to get everyone’s attention.

They all go after him but get shoved away with Tajiri getting chokeslammed out. Bradshaw misses a charge and goes out to thin things out a bit. John Cena, on a bad knee, is in at #10. Some clotheslines put Show on the apron but not out as we take another break. Back with Nunzio having come in at #11 and being eliminated by Cena and A-Train in at #12. Rhyno seems to have been eliminated during the break as well. Eddie, holding his head, is in at #13 as A-Train is eliminated.

Rikishi is in at #14 for a superkick to put Gunn on the apron. Show gets knocked down in the corner and takes a Stinkface with a screaming Shelton getting one as well. There’s one to Gunn as well as Hardcore Holly is in at #15, giving us a final grouping of Angle, Haas, Benjamin, Gunn, Big Show, Cena, Eddie, Rikishi and Holly. Show chokes Cena to the floor and gets rid of him so everyone gangs up on Show, with Cena pulling him from the floor for the elimination. With nothing else going on, here’s a highlight package of some of the eliminations.

Eddie backdrops Haas out and Angle tosses Benjamin. An Angle Slam and frog splash hit Rikishi, which isn’t the best idea with someone of his size in a battle royal. Angle dumps Holly like the non-main eventer that he is to get us down to four. Eddie flips Gunn out and it’s Eddie, Angle and Rikishi to go. Rikishi superkicks Angle and chokeslams Eddie but misses the Rump Shaker on Angle.

That’s enough for Angle and Eddie to get together and eliminate Rikishi so we can have a heck of a final pairing. They slug it out until Angle starts rolling the German suplexes. Eddie hangs on and lands on the apron, even managing to get in an ankle lock on Angle. You don’t do that to Angle though and it’s reversed into the same hold on Eddie. That’s reversed with a roll over the top but Eddie holds on with his feet just inches above the floor.

Back in and Eddie rolls the vertical suplexes and goes up top in a pretty dumb move. Angle runs the ropes and headbutts him, sending both guys to the ropes for a double crotching. With Eddie already staggered, Angle grabs the sleeper, which Tazz says would make this easy like Sunday morning. It switches to a chinlock, which of course energizes Eddie to bring him back to his feet. Angle gets sent to the apron for a gasp but tries a suplex to the floor. Eddie reverses that into one of his own, pulls Angle back a few steps, and throws Angle out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: A-. They did exactly what they needed to do here by setting up a new challenger in a match that didn’t drag. There were some names who didn’t need to be included in something like this and I’m glad they got rid of Holly so quickly. The experiment is over and that’s best for everyone involved. It’s hard to make a nearly forty minute match feel like less than half of that but they pulled it off here. Great match, exactly right result and nothing that felt like a dead spot.

Overall Rating: B. The main event taking up a third of the show was a good idea and while that was great, there’s only so much you can do when your first hour includes Orlando Jordan and a bad Bashams match. It’s still a very good show because that one match was really that great. The top of the card is really starting to come together and if the rest of the show can come close to it, we’re in for a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 22, 2004
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and most of Sunday is already set. You can always use more focus on the Rumble itself, but I have a bad feeling we might be in for a heavy dose of Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar tonight. I for one can’t get enough of the WWE Champion vs. the race car driver. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Chavo Guerrero turning on his uncle Eddie, leading to Kurt Angle getting involved and setting up a tag match with Chavo and his dad vs. Eddie/Angle tonight. I’m not a big Chavo fan but he’s been money in this feud.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chuck Palumbo

Rey tries hammering away but a hard shoulder puts him down. Palumbo tries a powerbomb, earning all those right hands to the head. The 619 is loaded up early on but Johnny Stamboli low bridges Rey to the floor. Back in and Palumbo starts in on the knee by ramming it into the mat and grabbing a half crab. Ever the creative one, Rey flings his free leg back to kick Palumbo, whose staggering puts Rey closer to the ropes.

Instead of getting kicked again, Palumbo switched to a regular Boston crab. That’s broken up so Palumbo puts him on top, only to get caught with a top rope seated senton. A springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gives Mysterio two but Nunzio’s distraction lets Palumbo kick his head off. Back up and Palumbo tries a fireman’s carry, only to get reversed into a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: D. The problem here was with Palumbo, who clearly had no idea how to wrestle a match against someone that much smaller than him. While he isn’t the biggest guy in the world, Palumbo is big enough to wrestle a power style here and that’s not what we got. Mysterio was trying but Palumbo just isn’t that good.

Post match the FBI comes in and gives Mysterio the bigger beatdown. Jamie Noble comes out and pays them off before his match with Mysterio on Sunday. Of note: does anyone remember that Nunzio and Noble are supposed to be cousins? I don’t remember the last time it was mentioned and it certainly wasn’t here.

Paul Heyman is really not happy with John Cena and Chris Benoit for ruining the morality of this show, which certainly isn’t related to making him eat soap last week. Therefore tonight, for the sake of restoring the morals that this company were based on, they’ll be teaming up against Big Show/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno. The four of them just happen to be standing off camera.

Kurt Angle yells at Chavo and Chavo over messing with the family bond. He grew up under the pressure of having four older brothers who were better athletes than him. His way out? He won an Olympic gold medal. They’ll learn a lesson in the ring tonight.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman

No Akio/Sakoda at ringside. Kidman starts fast with an armdrag and a hurricanrana but gets pulled off the top for a crash. It’s off to an armbar on Kidman’s recently repaired shoulder in a smart move. Tazz thinks Tajiri is smart for eating so much rice and a spinning kick to the arm seems to support that line of thinking. The handspring elbow is blocked with a dropkick but Kidman misses the shooting star. A Buzzsaw kick sends Tajiri to the Rumble.

Brock and Big Show are in the back to talk about the match and Show is sick of Lesnar following him around to “protect” him from Hardcore Holly. Show needs some time to himself and has the cops to protect him. Therefore, tonight Show is taking tonight off and after Sunday, he’s coming after the WWE Title, whether Lesnar or someone else holds it.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: A-Train vs. Shannon Moore

A-Train has shaved his beard and possibly some of his chest hair. Shannon drop toeholds him into the middle buckle to start but gets THROWN into the same corner for a little more impact. We hit something close to a Gory Stretch but cue the Cat of all people to dance, setting up a rollup to give Shannon two. A-Train will have none of that and sends him into the steps, followed by the Train Wreck for the fast pin.

Team Lesnar is in Heyman’s office but Paul wants to know where Show is. Lesnar explains things but Heyman says Show is just getting himself fired up. It’ll be SHOW TIME when the match is on.

Video on Holly vs. Lesnar.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan/Rhyno

No Show, and Heyman is sitting in a lifeguard chair at ringside. Before the match, Cena (great pop on his entrance) apologizes for not rubbing the soap in Heyman’s eyes last week too. Gay jokes are made about Heyman and then Show/Lesnar/Heyman, which of course get the better reactions. Lesnar, Morgan and Rhyno come out but there’s a forklift in front of Show’s locker room, confirming that it’s going to be 3-2.

Lesnar and Benoit get things going with Brock running away and tagging in Morgan with no action. So it’s Morgan being sent face first into the buckle and Cena coming in to forearm him in the back. Cena gets taken into the corner and the numbers game starts to get the better of him as Heyman looks on in near disgust. Rhyno can’t keep Cena in trouble though and it’s back to Benoit, who gets beaten up a little more easily. Heyman is thrilled when Lesnar comes in to start stomping away but it’s quickly back to Cena. They’re certainly moving with the tags here so far.

A spinebuster cuts Cena off and it’s back to Rhyno for a cross arm choke, allowing Cole to remind us that Big Show was supposed to be involved here too for about the third time in a minute. Lesnar comes back in for the corner shoulders but misses a charge. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit so we hit the rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman’s jaw to drop in fear. Rhyno breaks up the Crossface and hits a spinebuster, only to charge into a drop toehold into the ropes.

That’s enough for Lesnar, who takes a walk but gets jumped by Hardcore Holly. Cops come in for the save and we take a break. Back with fans telling Heyman that he ate soap as Morgan comes back in to headbutt Benoit. Rhyno knocks Cena off the apron and Gores Benoit for two with Cena diving back in for the save. Morgan misses an elbow though and now the hot tag brings Cena in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Cena dodges a Gore, setting up the FU for the pin on Rhyno.

Rating: C+. It’s rather impressive to turn a 4-2 handicap match into a regular tag inside of twenty minutes. Cena and Benoit battling the authority is fine though they’ll be better off when it gets down to Cena doing it alone as he’s much more anti-authority than Benoit and would fit better on his own. They’re both looking like stars though and that’s the best thing about the whole story.

Post match Cena and Benoit go after Heyman but Show comes in for some chokeslams.

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Bradshaw vs. Akio vs. Sakoda

Bradshaw beats them both up and hits a super Last Call for two on Sakoda. The double teaming starts working but, to my shock and awe, they get in an argument over who can pin Bradshaw. A double suplex gets one and another argument breaks out. Sakoda gets sent outside and Akio heads up, only to dive into the Clothesline to send Bradshaw to the Rumble.

Billy Gunn’s greatest moment ever: the wedding to Chuck. For some reason this is edited off of the Network, likely due to a music deal, though the previous two parts of the countdown were included.

Angle gives Eddie a pep talk and says the Guerrero family is messed up. If Eddie could control the Latino Heat, he could be WWE Champion. Tonight, they’re doing things by Angle’s rules: block out all emotions and concentrate on winning. Angle is kind of a jerk here.

Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr./Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Eddie’s music is very quiet for some reason, being little more than background noise. At least it picks up right near the end and then Angle’s music is normal. Angle has to hold Eddie back from wrecking his family so we stall a bit before the bell. Jr. and Angle start things off but Kurt wants a handshake from Eddie, who tags him instead. For some reason that doesn’t count as a tag so Angle takes Jr. down with a headlock instead. The fans think Chavo sucks, though they don’t specify which one.

Jr. gets shouldered out to the floor and that means some advice from his dad. Sr. comes in but Angle still won’t tag Eddie. Some armdrags have Angle in more control so Eddie comes in to try and get his hands on someone. That sends the Chavos bailing to the floor so now Angle brings Eddie in for real. The emotions draw Eddie outside and the double teaming has Eddie in trouble.

Sr. chokes in the corner before coming in for a bow and arrow hold, followed by a crossface chickenwing. Jr. is back in with a dropkick in the corner but Eddie scores with a dropkick and it’s Angle coming back in to clean house. Eddie tags himself back in and everything breaks down. Double suplexes take the villains down but Angle gets poked in the eye, causing him to Angle Slam Eddie by mistake. Sr. hits a DDT as Angle is taken away, leaving Jr. to frog splash Eddie for the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine here and it’s the right call to have Chavo get a pin to set up Sunday’s match. Having both Chavos in there wasn’t the worst idea in the world as it’s not like Jr. has any other friends at the moment. Throw in the touch of Eddie’s family betraying him and it’s not a bad story. Eddie vs. Angle should be awesome too and the slow build to get there is nice.

Overall Rating: B-. This was designed to be more about the big angles getting the focus and that’s a good thing. It’s also nice to have Holly vs. Lesnar get very little time as they’re not really hiding the fact that they want the match over as soon as possible. Things are starting to pick up for the early stages of Wrestlemania season and hopefully things stay hot when we really get going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 8, 2004
Location: Van Braun Civic Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Attendance: 3,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the second show of the year and hopefully it’s an improvement on the first. We’ve got less than three weeks before the Royal Rumble and the card is finally starting to take some shape. The Royal Rumble itself should be a lot of fun by definition, though we still need some more people being announced for the match. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, focusing on the split of Los Guerreros and Kurt Angle saying it was due to a breakdown of family values.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle to open things up. Last week was supposed to be the start of a great year but he saw one of the greatest tag teams ever self destruct. Angle calls Chavo out to fix this right now so here he comes, now with his own music instead of the Los Guerreros theme. Angle thinks Chavo should want to do what’s right for his family but hang on because we need an EDDIE chant.

Chavo goes with the classic heel response of it was for Eddie’s own good and wants to slap Eddie for good measure. Maybe he’ll even slap Kurt too! Cue Eddie to chase Chavo off (I like that it took him a second to get there as it feels a bit more natural) but Kurt again plays peacekeeper. Things settle down a bit with Angle saying Chavo was the one person there when Eddie needed help the most (implying his drug issues). We get a very shaky handshake.

We look back at Hardcore Holly attacking Big Show with a chair last week.

Big Show can’t wait to get his hands on Holly in a street fight tonight.

Chris Benoit is here for a match but Paul Heyman, with a broken finger thanks to last week, makes it a mini Royal Rumble instead with Benoit vs. the FBI.

Mini Royal Rumble

Benoit is in at #1 and Johnny Stamboli is in at #2 with two minute intervals. Benoit wastes no time in elbowing Stamboli in the face but it’s too early to get him out. Stamboli can’t get Benoit out either though (well duh) and the Sharpshooter makes Stamboli tap as Chuck Palumbo is in at #3. As this goes on, Tazz rips Cole apart for saying various dumb things and says he has to be him. I could go for a heel Tazz.

Benoit fights off the double team and gets rid of Stamboli. There’s a Crossface to Palumbo and, as you might have guessed, he’s still tapping as Nunzio is in at #4. Reality sets in quickly for Nunzio as Benoit is waiting him but Palumbo is back up. Benoit dumps Nunzio anyway and the fans are WAY behind Benoit here. Well either that or the canned audio is. Palumbo misses the superkick and gets backdropped out to give Benoit the win.

Rating: D. This was just a workout for Benoit, which is entirely the point of having the FBI around. The good thing though is they’re pushing the heck out of Benoit, who has gone through a bunch of stuff in the last year and deserves to be in the main event. He and John Cena feel untouchable right now and it would be great to see him finally move up to the main event where he’s belonged for a long time now.

Heyman isn’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Basham Brothers vs. Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty

The Bashams are defending….or at least that’s the plan as they jump Rikishi and Scotty from behind and beat them down. Scotty takes a belt shot to the head and there seems to be no match. Hang on a second though as here’s Kurt to say he’s just left Heyman’s office. We have a replacement team and the title match is on. So in the span of two minutes, Angle ran to Heyman’s office, knew that Rikishi and Scotty weren’t ready to go, and convinced Heyman to make the match? That’s Olympic speed.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Bashams are still defending. Danny shoulders Eddie down to start so Chavo comes in for a double back elbow. The announcers argue a lot more than usual as Chavo gets two off a small package. It’s already time for some cheating with Eddie choking in the corner and clapping his hands in place of a tag. As usual, the fans eat it up like fried yak knees. Ever the nice uncle, Eddie makes a blind tag and jumps behind Doug, who punches the heck out of Chavo until Eddie taps him on the shoulder for another right hand.

Danny pulls Doug out to the floor to avoid a Frog splash though and a low bridge sends Eddie outside in a big heap. Back from a break with Eddie still in trouble and we hit the half crab. A double slingshot suplex drops Eddie again and we actually get a CHAVO chant for a change. Shaniqua adds some choking (must have learned it from Eddie) as Tazz tries to figure out if a world of hurt is like a planet of pain.

A good powerbomb works on the back even more and this time Chavo makes a save. Eddie finally rolls out of a double arm crank and makes the hot tag so dropkicks can abound. The tornado DDT gets two on Danny with Doug making a save and the champs are knocked to the floor. Stereo dives have them in even more trouble and the fans are rather pleased at the moment. Back in and Chavo tries a sunset flip but Danny sits down on it with Shaniqua grabbing his hands to retain the titles.

Rating: B. If there was a story going on with Eddie and Chavo, they would have been nuts to not change the titles there. Eddie sold this to perfection and the match was a great time throughout. Odds are Chavo somehow blames Eddie for the loss and Angle stays involved, which is all the heel turn needs to be. Good match here and probably the best Bashams match ever.

Post match the Bashams beat Eddie down while Chavo sits in a chair. Shaniqua is pleased as the Bashams leave….and Chavo comes in to beat on Eddie even more for the full turn. More right hands bust Eddie open and Chavo is very pleased. As a bonus, he kicks Eddie in the head and steals the lowrider. The fans boo the heck out of him too because this is a story that has been told well and is a classic for a reason. You can run with the jealousy storyline for months and the fact that they’re family makes it even better. Really well done angle after a very good match.

A-Train vs. John Cena

Cena’s pre-match rap makes Star Wars references about A-Train so it’s at least good for a laugh. A-Train drives him into the corner but Cena punches his way to freedom. A butterfly suplex gives A-Train two and we hit a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back. Cena powers up, hits the ProtoBomb and a top rope elbow to the back of the head. The Shuffle and FU give Cena the fast and impressive win as he just shrugged off whatever A-Train hit him with and won without much effort. That’s what he should be doing too.

Angle checks on the bloody Eddie, who breaks down in tears as Angle talks about what Chavo did. Kurt apologizes because this might have been his fault. Thanks for that Kurt.

Akio vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title and only Sakoda is here with Akio as Tajiri has a match later tonight. Rey armdrags him down to start and we’re off to an early headlock. That goes nowhere so Akio cranks it up in a hurry with a buckle bomb to rock Rey. A sliding legdrop to the back of the head gets two and it’s time for the Tree of Woe.

Akio tries to get a bit too fast though and slides low, crotching himself against the post in the process. Rey gets two off a springboard crossbody but Akio kicks him out of the air for the same. Sakoda tries to interfere again and gets caught on the ropes with Akio being knocked next to him for a double 619. With the other goon taken care of, the West Coast Pop finishes Akio.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all for four and a half minutes with both guys looking good and working hard. Akio and Sakoda are very low on the totem pole at the moment but with enough effort (which they’ve shown so far), they could turn into something useful. Mysterio on top of the division is fine, though it’s only going to last for so long without a good challenger.

Billy Gunn has a Best of Billy Gunn countdown, ranging over the next three weeks until he returns at the Royal Rumble. #3: the Smoking Gunns win their first Tag Team Titles. So Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly are both getting pushes. What a happy new year.

Hardcore Holly thinks Josh Matthews is a smart guy (oh dear) but Big Show shouldn’t challenge Holly to a street fight in Alabama.

Nidia tries to find Jamie Noble, who is on his way. Paul Heyman comes in and puts her in the match instead.

Wrestlemania recall: Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.

Nidia vs. Tajiri

A few takedowns and an armdrag set up a legsweep for the pin to give Tajiri the title shot at the Rumble. Dang Tough Enough must have some really bad trainers.

Post match Tajiri loads up the big kick but Mysterio makes the save and helps Nidia until Jamie finally arrives. Noble decks Rey for reasons of general jerkishness.

Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show

Non-title street fight with Brock Lesnar on commentary. Cole: “What is Lesnar doing out here?” Doing commentary for a match involving his next challenger you moron. Tazz is right to insult him so often. There are weapons at ringside but Show brings out the chair that Holly used to bust him open last week. Did he steal that from whatever arena they were in?

Holly is in jeans and comes out to fight in the aisle but gets headbutted in short order. They get inside with Holly breaking a broom over his back, only to be thrown outside without much effort. Holly gets in a chair shot and goes after Lesnar, which just allows Big Show to get in a shot from behind. Back in and Holly gets beaten down again, only to get in some trashcan shots to the head for the first near fall. As you might expect, Holly can’t get the full nelson so he uses pepper spray and kicks him low. For a unique idea, Holly wraps a chair around Show’s neck and pulls back for a submission.

Rating: D. Well, I guess the one person in the world who wanted to see Hardcore Holly and Big Show have a street fight got what they had been waiting for. Other than that though, this was just two people hitting each other with weapons and a different kind of finish. The fact that it was Hardcore Holly beating up Big Show is almost too much to swallow though.

Lesnar runs away from Holly to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Smackdown is two different worlds at the moment as you can see the promised land of Cena, Benoit and Guerrero getting ready to take things over but we have to put up with Holly for a few more weeks because wrestling must make you suffer. Holly might be the most lame duck challenger of all time and all of the other prospective opponents for Lesnar make it that much harder to sit through. There’s some more good than bad though on here as you have the talented guys taking up a lot of the show and that makes it a lot easier to sit through. Just forget Holly already and the show is that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 1, 2004
Location: Laredo Entertainment Center, Laredo, Texas
Attendance: 5,100
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This year has to be better right? Smackdown was the better of the two shows but it’s not like 2003 was very good either way. We’ve got three shows left before the Royal Rumble and aside from Hardcore Holly vs. Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, there’s very little set up. Let’s get to it.

Here are the results from two weeks ago if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of two weeks ago where Holly became # 1 contender thanks to A-Train screwing up again. That certainly seems to be a trend with him.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is challenging. They grapple to start with neither being able to get anywhere and it’s a standoff. Tajiri takes him down by the leg but gets reversed into a rollup for two. A chest first whip into the corner takes Rey down but the handspring elbow is countered with a dropkick to the back.

That means a big flip dive to really put Tajiri down as we go to a break. Not a bad way to get us going in the new year. Back with Sakoda breaking up the 619 so Tajiri can start back in on the knee. A dropkick to the knee in the Tree of Woe gets two but the bad knee is fine enough for a middle rope hurricanrana to get Rey out of trouble. The springboard seated senton is countered into a half crab though and Mysterio is right back in trouble again.

Rey makes the rope and, since the match has been going on for a while now, it’s time for a ref bump. He’s back up in time for a two off Tajiri’s sitout powerbomb and we keep going. Another springboard bangs the knee up though (you knew that had to happen eventually) and Tajiri kicks him in the face. The green mist hits Sakoda by mistake though and a standing hurricanrana gives Rey the pin and the title.

Rating: B. Tajiri had held the title for a nice, long (by this title’s standards) reign and putting it back on Mysterio made sense. Changing the title to open the year was a good idea and the fact that it was a longer match made things that much better. Rey can drop it to a hot heel down the line and he’s still the biggest name in the division by a mile and a half.

Post match Rey thanks the fans and says he’ll be champion around the world. Cue Big Show to say that’s nice but it’s time to shill the new Big Show t-shirt. Rey takes it away and threatens to make it a souvenir for a fan despite Big Show telling him not to. He does it anyway of course and gets beaten down, because this is what you do with a new champion. Hardcore Holly comes in for the save.

Some soldiers say Happy New Year.

Post break Big Show breaks a bunch of stuff so Paul Heyman gives him Holly later tonight.

Bradshaw vs. Rhyno

The rubber match. Bradshaw knees him in the corner and gets two off a shoulder. A DDT gives Rhyno the same but Bradshaw hits the Last Call followed by a big boot. The Clothesline puts Rhyno away in short order. And that’s the feud.

Earlier today, Los Guerreros were at a low rider parade.

The announcers talk about Tribute to the Troops.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

John Cena comes up to Heyman in the back and asks where Heyman was last week in Baghdad. Heyman wasn’t there and Cena thinks he’s a coward. That’s too far for Heyman, who says he’s a leader of men. Therefore, let’s see what kind of an idea Heyman can come up with regarding say, the Royal Rumble. Cena isn’t currently included (no one is) but if he wins tonight, he can be included. All he has to do is find a partner to face all three members of the FBI. Oh and if Cena and his partner lose, neither are in the Rumble. That match is next by the way, so HAPPY NEW YEAR.

John Cena/Chris Benoit vs. FBI

And Cena/Benoit are supposed to be underdogs here? Cena’s pre-match rap says the FBI is stupid while Benoit actually rhymes an acceptance (Benoit: “I’m sick and tired of Heyman’s crap, I’ll be your partner tonight and make these b****** tap. Word life.”). The numbers game has the good guys in trouble to start but Cena easily takes over on Stamboli, mainly because it’s John Cena vs. Johnny Stamboli. The FBI gets Cena into the corner for the rotating stomps and Palumbo adds a good suplex.

The vocal Benoit starts a Cena chant, which is cut off by a big right hand from Palumbo. We hit the chinlock from Stamboli for a bit until Cena finally dives over and brings Benoit in for a long series of suplexes. A double clothesline takes Benoit down for two, with Stamboli looking over for Cena to make the save twice in a row. Palumbo’s superkick to Benoit breaks up the Sharpshooter and gets another near fall but the Crossface makes Stamboli tap a few seconds later.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as it turned into a hot finish but who in the world thought Cena and Benoit couldn’t beat these schmucks? Benoit and Cena are going to be big players in the Rumble and since WWE has taken their sweet time getting here, they can only build up a story in very short order.

Clips of troops in a very long line for autographs in Baghdad.

Here’s the returning Kurt Angle for a chat. Angle has been away on a break but last week, those troops inspired him to come back to the ring. He was over there a few weeks ago and got to meet a lot of the soldiers as well. It made him proud to be an American and he met one soldier in particular. This guy had been over there for a year and when he left, his wife was eight months pregnant. All he wanted was to get back to see his new baby girl. Angle has a daughter of his own and he wants to make her proud of him too. Therefore, he’s entering the Royal Rumble and he’s winning for the troops.

Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title as we’re still waiting on Big Show to defend the thing two and a half months after he won it. Holly punches away to start but Show clotheslines him down with authority. I’m not sure whose authority but it certainly worked. A big headbutt puts Holly down and the Hog Log gets two. Show drives an elbow into the neck so Holly goes after the knee to take him down.

A top rope clothesline gets two but Holly walks into a side slam to put him down again. It’s almost like Holly doesn’t have anywhere near the level of offense to be a realistic threat against Big Show. It’s back to the neck with a full nelson, drawing in Mysterio with a chair. Show knocks him down too so Holly goes low for the DQ.

Rating: F. So what was the point here? To make the #1 contender look like he can’t beat the US Champion? To make the US Champion look like a big monster, which you can kind of tell just by looking at him? The ending makes things that much worse as not only does Holly lose but it’s just a cheap way to make him look even more worthless than he has since he came back.

Holly beats him down with the chair.

Billy Gunn is back at the Rumble. I know the brand split made the rosters thin but between this and Hardcore Holly as a World Title challenger, they’re in real trouble on Thursdays.

Benoit comes in to see Heyman, who calls Benoit a working stiff like him. Heyman is management though and that’s what’s going to stop him at the Rumble. His solution: Benoit is going to be #1 (with Heyman almost screaming as he rants about how Benoit is done at the Rumble). Benoit grabs Heyman’s finger and bends it back before going into his own rant about how he’s fighting for his family and everything he has sacrificed to get here. This show has seen Benoit do more intense/emotional talking than I’ve seen him do in years.

Various low level guys congratulate Mysterio on winning the title until Eddie comes in to celebrate in Spanish. Chavo looks on in disgust as Eddie enters the Royal Rumble. He takes Eddie aside to talk about how they need to win the Tag Team Titles. Chavo isn’t exactly thrilled with Eddie at the moment and you can feel the tension.

Ad saying watch Smackdown. Glad to see I did my job already.

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The Eddie chants get on Chavo’s nerves again as Eddie takes Haas into the corner to start. It’s off to Chavo, who is taken into the wrong corner and caught with an overhead t-bone suplex. Chavo stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot but won’t tag, instead walking into a powerslam. Haas gets knocked down again and Chavo is right next to Eddie but goes back into the fight again. A double knockdown puts both Chavo and Haas down so Eddie distracts the referee, allowing him to pull Chavo to the corner.

This time Eddie cuts out the middle man and tags himself in so the pace can pick up. Three Amigos have Haas down but Chavo tags himself in to really further the issues. The distraction lets Eddie get knocked to the floor and Chavo’s frog splash hits knees. Shelton superkicks the heck out of Chavo and Haas gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s fine. They’ve been teasing this split for so long now that they almost have to do it here before the thing gets stale. Chavo’s reasoning for the heel turn makes sense but he’s coming off like a jerk, which is exactly the kind of thing that should lead to such a split. The match was bad, but that’s not the point of something like this.

Post Chavo blames Eddie for the loss because he’s sick of not hearing his name cheered. Eddie immediately tries to start a CHAVO chant but just gets cheered even louder. Chavo is sick of Eddie and slaps him in the face. Eddie looks ready to snap but here’s Angle to break things up.

Post break, Angle tells Eddie he’s doing this for the troops but Eddie is being selfish for doing this to his flesh and blood. Angle talks about this being traditional family values (Eddie: “FAMILY VALUES???”) and wants Eddie to look in the mirror.

The announcers talk about what just happened….and that’s how the show ends.

Overall Rating: C-. This show went off a cliff after the halfway point and that ending was really weird. I’ll give them some points for hitting the ground running with the Rumble build though as they went from no one to four big names being in the match in one night. That’s what they had to do and it worked well. What didn’t work well was most of the wrestling here, which took a hard backseat to the angle advancement. That’s more important, but it was a rocky way to get there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 25, 2003
Location: Camp Victory, Baghdad, Iraq
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a very special show as it’s Christmas in Iraq for the first of a series later called Tribute to the Troops. Back in the day they actually went overseas for the shows, giving this a very special feeling indeed. The focus isn’t going to be on the wrestling tonight but rather the atmosphere as a whole, which is how things should be going for something like this. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the National Anthem, though not by Lilian Garcia for a change.

Here’s Vince McMahon to get things going and he’s staying in character with the scowl. That’s gone pretty quickly though as on behalf of freedom loving people around the world, WWE is hear to say thank you. Vince thanks everyone for their sacrifices and for protecting our great nation. Oh and thanks for catching Saddam. Vince wants to say one more thing….but here’s a rather rotund Santa Claus with bags of presents.

The presents aren’t for Vince though, because they’re for the troops. Santa starts handing out shirts from the bags but Vince wants him to come back in for one more thing. Vince wants his present and thinks it’s somewhere in Santa’s stomach. And why didn’t Santa come visit him when he was a kid? Vince shoves Santa over and the hat comes off….to reveal a bald head. There’s the Stunner and let’s drink some beer.

Austin isn’t done though and, while still wearing the furry Santa boots, says he’s going to go backstage and drink some more beer instead of hurting us by trying to sing Christmas carols. He thanks the troops and talks about how much WWE supports them before having the troops throw up the middle fingers to Saddam. Perfect way to open things up with one of the few timeless segments that will never stop working.

We see some of the wrestlers being told what to do if terrorists attack. That’s a rather sobering discussion.

Clip of the ring and arena being set up. The troops who helped got to sit in the front row.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw is in a helmet and flack jacket. Shelton takes Faarooq into the corner to start but gets taken down by a middle rope shoulder. Bradshaw comes in to forearm Haas in the back for two but has to let go of an early torture rack as Shelton tries to make a save. The Dominator doesn’t work on Haas and Shelton gets in a cheap shot to take over. Faarooq shoves Haas away and brings in Bradshaw to clean house. Everything breaks down and Shelton superkicks Bradshaw down. Not that it matters as Faarooq tosses Shelton to the floor, leaving Bradshaw to Clothesline Haas for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m going to be a lot nicer to the wrestling here as that’s not the point to a show like this one. This match was about letting the APA, a popular team, come in and get a quick win and to have Bradshaw, who was one of the big names behind the whole idea, out there as he should be. If nothing else, Bradshaw hitting a Clothesline that hard is going to get a reaction.

Austin gives Chris Benoit a pep talk before his match with Eddie Guerrero. That’s kind of an odd segment as it’s not like they’re great friends or anything.

Some troops say hi to their families.

Rikishi vs. Rhyno

Rhyno gets shoved away to start as the announcers talk about this being in the middle of an active war zone. Some kicks to the, ahem, thong arena, have Rikishi in some trouble but he stops a charge with a superkick. The announcers actually act like they’re there (commentary is being recorded in Connecticut), even talking about their clothes in the desert for a little flavor. The Rump Shaker hits raised knees but the Gore misses. Rikishi grabs a Samoan drop for the fast pin.

Post match, Rhyno takes a Stinkface and dancing ensues with some (armed) troops coming into the ring.

Video of wrestlers meeting troops.

Some wrestlers went up on a helicopter to another camp to meet more troops.

Here’s John Cena for a chat. He wants to give Torrie Wilson a pearl necklace for Christmas but tonight he has to deal with Big Show. Sure he’s wrestling a giant but the real big show is in his crotch. Show is picking the wrong day to fight when Cena has all of the troops behind him and Saddam should be buried in a hole.

Now Austin gives Eddie Guerrero a pep talk. Apparently Benoit promised to lie, steal and cheat tonight. Eddie: “THAT’S MY STUFF!”

More troops say hello.

Wrestlers signed autographs and met troops at the other camp. Cena even had some battle raps.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start as Cole and Tazz go over the history between these two. Eddie starts in on the arm and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Benoit comes back with some forearms and Eddie grabs the referee’s waist for security. Hang on as a security helicopter flies over the ring so Eddie puts on a flack jacket. As you might expect, Eddie throws the jacket at Benoit and takes over with a dropkick.

They fall out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Benoit cranking on both arms as the fans chant for Eddie. That seems to do him some good as he sends Benoit into the corner to take over again but falls off the ropes on a sunset bomb attempt. The Three Amigos are countered into the Crossface but Eddie rolls over to the ropes.

Some rolling German suplex soften Eddie up a bit more and a shoulder breaker has the arm banged up even more. Benoit barely misses the Swan Dive but avoids the frog splash for another double knockdown. Back up and Eddie gets in a rollup with feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. That’s all you can ask for her with the two guys who know each other well enough to have a good match in their sleep. There were a few botches here but wrestling in that kind of heat in this kind of atmosphere isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The fans were more into Eddie anyway and it’s not like a win or a loss on this show means much.

Post match Eddie puts the jacket and helmet back on for a handshake.

We look at the opening segment again.

More soldiers say hello.

Another video on wrestlers meeting troops.

More soldiers say hello.

Wrestlers shoot guns with Big Show being the best shot.

Wrestlers visited wounded troops.

One more video of the wrestlers with the troops.

One more video of troops saying hello to their families.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Say it with me: non-title. Cena gets chokeslammed about five seconds in and rolls to the floor for a breather. Back in and Show hits the overhand chop in the corner, followed by a hard headbutt to put Cena down. It’s off to the abdominal stretch for a few seconds but the ref gets kicked down. Show grabs the chain but gets kicked low, allowing Cena to hit him with the chain for two. Another chokeslam is countered into the FU to give Cena the pin.

Rating: C. I remember watching this match with my dad, who is one of those people who tends to not think much of wrestling because it’s fake. When Cena tossed Show onto his shoulders and flipped him over like it was nothing, my dad’s jaw dropped for a second. There’s nothing to the match of course and it’s not like Show losing means anything to his title reign, which is as unnecessary as any I can ever remember.

Post match Austin comes out to Stun both guys. Austin calls out the ladies and the locker room for one last celebration. One more Stunner to Big Show and beer consumption ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. As mentioned, the wrestling really isn’t the point to something like this. The wrestling is secondary to entertaining the troops and that’s what happened. It did exactly what it was designed to do and felt important, unlike what this show would eventually become. This had nothing to do with storylines and nothing was advanced, which didn’t need to be the case. It was a fun show and having Austin as a big star was the right call. Just let it be fun and come back home for the real stuff later on. And be glad La Resistance didn’t get squashed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 20, 2003
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past Survivor Series and that means a few months of calm as Smackdown doesn’t have a pay per view until January and it’s own show isn’t until February. There are several ways to go with the World Title hunt at the moment but Chris Benoit, who made Brock Lesnar tap out on Sunday, should be the likely next challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very banged up Vince McMahon, accompanied by Sable, to get things going. Vince can barely breathe once he gets in and says he almost died. He was pummeled and bleeding from various places to the point that he had to have a transfusion. Undertaker “practically pummeled his privates” and Sable had to relieve the pain with a massage. Then Undertaker shattered his ankle and hit him in the head with a shovel.

After all that they went to the grave but Vince never lost faith. The higher power sent an avenging angel in the form of Kane and Vince was saved. Kane will be here tonight for Undertaker’s eulogy and Vince has never felt more powerful. He feels invincible and untouchable….and here’s John Cena.

Vince is confused and Cena accuses him of stealing his catchphrases. Maybe Vince just has nothing to touch. We could ask Sable, who is just here for the money. When Vince is gone, she comes to tickle Cena’s funny bone. Vince is standing in his ring so Cena offers to stretch him. Oh and Sable is good for one thing: she taught Vince how to suck. Funny stuff, and it’s nice to see Cena getting a rub like this.

Brock Lesnar yells at his Survivor Series team, blaming them for the loss. They’re the reasons he tapped out to Chris Benoit and THEY MADE THE FANS CHANT YOU TAPPED OUT! He’s the WWE Champion and that shouldn’t happen to him. He’ll be getting respect and tonight, the team will be facing the members of Team Angle tonight. Lesnar gives them all individual pep talks and wants them out of his face because they disgust him.

Rey Mysterio vs. Akio

Tajiri and Sakoda only come to the entrance so Akio is here alone. Rey slugs away to start but gets dropped by a hard shoulder from the bigger Akio. A tilt-a-whirl headscissors works a bit better for Mysterio so Akio takes him down and pulls on the arms while putting his foot on Rey’s head. One heck of a clothesline turns Rey inside out for two and we hit the neck crank.

For some reason Akio goes up top but gets crotched down, which Cole thinks might be a turning point. You mean because control turned on a point Cole? Rey gets two off a tornado DDT but gets kicked in the face. Akio’s corkscrew moonsault misses though and it’s the 619 to set up the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C. This was getting going when they wrapped it up. Mysterio beating one of Tajiri’s goons should move him closer to a Cruiserweight Title shot, which would be a nice story for everyone involved. Tajiri is starting to get some traction so eventually losing the title to Mysterio would work well. As usual, having goons around is a great way to extend a feud like this.

Paul Heyman is looking for Shannon Moore but finds the Bashams chained up with a ball gag in Danny’s mouth as Shaniqua whips them. CHAMPIONS ladies and gentlemen. Shaniqua says they’re celebrating and the Bashams seem very pleased but Shannon comes in to save us all. Heyman is ready to make Shannon a star and he has a match next. His opponent: Matt Morgan.

Matt Morgan vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon slaps him in the face and hammers away to start, earning a heck of a faceplant. Matt chokes in the corner and hits a hard slam, only to have Shannon kick him in the head. Morgan throws him around even more, including a one handed toss over the top, giving us one of Shannon’s great bumps. Back in and Matt pulls him up at two, followed by a spinning sitout powerbomb to complete the destruction.

Ad for Smackdown, showing nothing but the women in various stages of undress. I’ve heard of worse advertising campaigns, but this feels so out there compared to today’s family friendly stuff.

A-Train vs. Bradshaw

Rematch from last week because of reasons. The brawl is on in the aisle before the bell, meaning we’re officially getting a bonus. They get inside with Bradshaw pounding on the back and in the corner until A-Train knocks him down and gets two off a splash. Bradshaw gets a horrible looking DDT (A-Train fell to the side) and they’re both down. A-Train is sent outside and it’s a Derailer on the floor to knock Bradshaw silly. That’s only good for two back inside and Bradshaw gets the same off a small package. A-Train’s Vader Bomb hits a raised boot and a bicycle kick blocks the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. Who in the world was asking for this to be a trilogy? They had two matches and Bradshaw pinned A-Train on Sunday. Other than Hardcore Holly, it’s not like you can get much lower on the Angle team than Bradshaw so why would I want to see him fight over and over? Not the worst match but some of the least interest I can imagine having.

Nathan Jones vs. Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar is with Jones. Benoit goes straight for the knee but gets shoved outside for his efforts. Back in and Jones gets low bridged to the floor because Jones may be strong but Benoit is smart. Lesnar throws him back in and Jones doesn’t disappoint him by grabbing a powerslam. A chinlock is somewhat more disappointing but a spinning side slam gets two.

It’s already back to the chinlock (try a neck crank next time) until Benoit fights up and avoids a running big boot. The rolling German suplexes set up a missile dropkick (pretty rare for Benoit) but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Benoit slips out of a gorilla press, slaps on the Crossface, takes Lesnar out, grabs the Crossface again and gets the tap.

Rating: D+. Benoit was trying here and Jones could have been worse, but it’s clear that he’s not ready for this spot no matter how much WWE is obsessed with his look. Thankfully it looks like they’re setting up Benoit vs. Lesnar, likely in the big TV show when they don’t have a pay per view in December, so at least we have something to look forward to.

Post match Lesnar goes after Benoit but Hardcore Holly runs in and puts on the dreaded full nelson until Heyman and security come out to have Holly arrested. Oh and he’s indefinitely suspended too. As I said before the pay per view: I still don’t know why WWE thinks people care about Holly.

Here’s Kane to eulogize Undertaker. Kane talks about how the man we knew as Undertaker has been dead for a long time. They used to be monsters together and strike fear into the hearts of mortal men. Then Undertaker betrayed his family by having compassion and defended Stephanie (add this to the list of stories she’s driving without being here).

A monster isn’t supposed to have weaknesses and Undertaker is a fraud. The people cheering for him are true to their nature, unlike Undertaker who was dead before Survivor Series. All Kane can say to him is rest in peace. That’s the start of a long term story if I’ve ever heard one.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending after successfully doing so this Sunday on Heat. The referee throws Akio and Sakoda out so this is going to be one on one. Jamie wastes no time in chopping away as the announcers recap Tajiri blinding Nidia. Noble gets sent outside and walks back in for a spinning kick to the shoulder.

We hit the armbar for a bit until Tajiri kicks him in the arm again to cut off the comeback. La majistral gets two on the champ so he kicks Noble in the head to slow him down again. Another kick to the head gets two but the Buzzsaw kick misses. Noble’s tiger bomb gets two as Tajiri gets his foot on the ropes. Cue the blind Nidia for an accidental distraction, allowing Tajiri to grab a rollup (with jeans) to retain.

Rating: C. Can we please let these two have about ten minutes for once? If you add up both of their matches, they don’t even have nine minutes total. They have chemistry but you can’t get much out there in less than five minutes, especially with the ending being angle advancement. That being said, there’s a good chance this is it for Jamie as he’s lost twice in a row now and seems to be moving on to something else. Unfortunately, that something else is likely not going to get him much TV time.

The World’s Greatest Tag Team wants to get their hands on Los Guerreros and put them on the shelf, just like Eddie and Chavo did to them. Haas: “What he said.”

Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The brawl is on in a hurry with Chavo dropkicking Shelton down. That’s it for Los Guerreros to start as Shelton goes for Chavo’s knee and takes over early on. Haas comes in and grabs a Boston crab for a few seconds before it’s back to Shelton for more knee work. The Haas of Pain goes on but Eddie is right there to rake his boot over Haas’ eyes for the break. That’s enough for the hot tag to Eddie and things speed up in a hurry. Shelton gets monkey flipped into Haas and a rope walk hurricanrana drops Charlie again. Chavo tornado DDTs Benjamin and springboards into a bulldog on Haas, setting up a frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Another match that could have been better with more time but I’ll take what I can get. At least what we had was good while it lasted and it’s nice to see Eddie getting a win for a change. It’s pretty clear that there’s something big coming between he and Chavo and I’m all for that, especially if it goes somewhere bigger for Eddie.

Post match Haas and Benjamin clean house and wreck Chavo’s knee, including wrapping a chair around it and putting on the Haas of Pain. Eddie makes the save with another chair but Chavo wants to know what’s going on.

The Cat got a key to Boise, Idaho in a really badly scripted segment. He debuts next week. Back in the arena, Cole dances to Cat’s music.

Chavo is still yelling at Eddie and blames him for everything while getting treatment for his knee. Eddie leaves and Chavo yells at the trainer, saying it’s time to rely on his real friends.

Vince gives Big Show a pep talk.

Big Show vs. John Cena

Non-title because Big Show is holding the title hostage. Cena starts fast with a baseball slide but walks into a hard clothesline to cut him down. That’s enough for Cole to compare Show’s hand to a frying pan because that’s what he does every time Show chops someone. A big clubbing forearm to the back has Cena in early trouble and Show pulls on his face. Cena gets tossed around the ring, leaving him down so Show can stand on his head.

Cena gets in a dropkick and avoids a big boot to crotch Show on top. The Throwback gets two and Cena grabs a chair…..as a decoy so he can kick Show low. Well to be fair he was still a heel like two weeks ago. That doesn’t seem to have much effort so Show hammers on Cena in the corner. The chain to the head rocks Show again but Cena collapses in an FU attempt. They head outside with Show loading up the announcers’ table, only to drive Cena back first into the post instead.

Back in and the referee gets bumped, allowing Show to grab the steps. He lifts them above his head in the fashion only done for the sake of having Cena kick his knee out and send him face first into said steps. Another shot with the steps is good for the pin, counted by another referee who was paying enough attention to see that a referee was needed but not enough to see the steps shot that set up the cover.

Rating: C-. This was a little too weapons based for me and, again, another instance of Big Show not really doing anything worthy of being US Champion other than being tall. I mean, I know that’s about all there is to him a lot of the time but that’s WWE for you. Cena is still shaking off the heel mannerisms and that might take some time but the fans want to cheer for him, which WWE is at least acknowledging.

Overall Rating: C+. There was a story going on throughout the show and that’s always better than throwing a bunch of stuff out there and hoping for the best. We’re heading for Cena vs. Vince/whomever he picks to fight for him and Lesnar vs. Benoit (and eventually Holly) so we have to get through the good before we get to the bad. This show was mainly wrestling focused so at least they’re moving in the right direction in certain ways.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 13, 2003
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for a bunch of matches to set up Sunday’s elimination match. However, one of those matches needs a participant as Kurt Angle’s team only has four members at this point. You can probably guess the last member but the official announcement probably takes place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Later tonight: Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. Chris Benoit/the fifth member.

Kurt Angle vs. Nathan Jones

Jones has Matt Morgan in his corner but he’s ejected before the music even turns off. A top wristlock goes very badly for Angle so he switches to a double leg takedown for some better results. You know, by using wrestling. Back up and a big boot misses so Angle can knock him out to the floor. Jones drops him face first onto the barricade though and Angle is in some sudden trouble. Not enough trouble that he can’t punch his way out of it, followed by a middle rope dropkick for two.

A hard slam plants Angle though and we hit a very lazy looking neck crank. Jones drops an elbow for two, which Cole calls impressive. That would be a vintage low standard. Back up and Angle’s clotheslines just get on Jones’ nerves but the rolling German suplexes work far better. Kurt grabs the Angle Slam and ankle lock but Morgan comes back in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Angle was trying as hard as he could here but it’s clear that Jones is still very limited. If only there was a place they could send him for development of his skills or something like that. The match didn’t have time for Angle to build anything up, but I’m scared to imagine what it might have been if this wasn’t either Angle or Benoit or someone with the energy and skill to pull this off as well as he did.

The beatdown is on until Hardcore Holly makes his, ahem, triumphant return with a chair for the save. Holly wants Lesnar right now but gets no one.

After a break, Holly is still hunting for Lesnar but Paul Heyman threatens to suspend him if he doesn’t calm down. Heyman begs him to leave tonight because he’s not medically cleared until Sunday. Holly eventually leaves and yeah, the fact that it’s Hardcore Holly completely kills what they’re going for here.

Sable and Vince McMahon are looking at the WWE 24 book with pictures of Vince’s dog. Vince isn’t interested because he has a headache but a picture of Undertaker makes him angry. He talks about a dream he had where he was watching maggots eat his dead body but he wound up eating them. Then he couldn’t move and laid there in a stench until they ate him again and again in a loop. Eventually he woke up and smelled the same stench because he had soiled himself. Vince: “What does this mean?” It means that Vince wrote this segment and doesn’t understand why this feud is so bad.

Here’s Jamie Noble to call out Tajiri before Survivor Series. Tajiri actually comes out but the goons, now named as as Akio and Sakoda, follow him for the beatdown. Rey Mysterio runs in for the save though and clears the ring.

Akio/Sakoda vs. Rey Mysterio/Jamie Noble

Joined in progress after a break with Noble slamming Akio before it’s off to Sakoda for some stomping. Mysterio springboards in with a high crossbody to speed things up, only to walk into a hot shot. We hit the front facelock and then a cravate as the new guys are a decent power team, at least for their size. Rey slides between his legs but Akio (who the announcers keep calling Sakada) cuts Tajiri off.

Akio grabs a choke with his knees in Rey’s back but Rey pops up with a headscissors into a reverse DDT for the double knockdown. The hot tag brings in Noble so things can speed up again. Everything breaks down and Akio spinwheel kicks Noble down. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Tajiri comes in to kick Tajiri in the head, giving Akio the pin. The referee doesn’t even notice that Akio’s feet are underneath the ropes. Fire this man.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here but Akio and Sakoda aren’t the most thrilling team. Tajiri being built up is a good idea and there’s something to this Noble feud as I want to see Jamie get some revenge. The wrestling wasn’t great though and the ending was a little messy. I do want to see Noble vs. Tajiri more though and that’s the point of the match.

Eddie and Chavo are in the back when a detective comes in. Eddie’s wife’s sister has been in a horrible accident in El Paso so Eddie has to leave. Chavo isn’t happy with this because of their Tag Team Title match tonight. Eddie glares at him and Chavo calms down.

Post break Chavo goes to Paul Heyman, who postpones the title match until Survivor Series. For tonight though, Chavo has to have a handicap match. Shaniqua and the Bashams agree to the idea with Shaniqua accusing Chavo of not having any huevos. The match is made.

The announcers plug the Unscripted book. I remember wanting to read that.

Undertaker is in the graveyard, saying Vince is the one that has to pay. Sunday is Vince’s day of reckoning and he’ll become another victim. Undertaker talks about all the people he’s destroyed but none of them have wanted his wife raped or his children kidnapped. Keep in mind that this is coming from Undertaker, who once kidnapped Vince’s daughter and tried to force her to become his wife in a demonic wedding.

Undertaker shovels dirt into the grave and talks about wanting Vince to suffocate on the thoughts of what he’s done to people over the years. This is said over shots of Vince torturing Stephanie, because somehow, this is still about her. Even when Stephanie isn’t here she drives stories.

Basham Brothers vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo takes Danny to the mat to start as Tazz determines why Eddie is called Latino Heat: He’s Latino and he has heat. An armdrag into some dropkicks have Danny in trouble so Shaniqua gives the Brothers a little whipping for motivation. Chavo kicks Doug in the ribs and dives off the apron onto Danny, followed by a Boston crab back inside. That’s broken up and we hit the double teaming in the corner.

Doug grabs a chinlock as the announcers debate Heyman’s issues with family. The hold goes nowhere so Doug goes up for the dive onto Chavo’s raised foot. Everything breaks down and Chavo hits a tornado DDT to send Doug outside. Shaniqua tries to come in and it’s Twin Magic so Danny can get a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. So in other words it’s the same match as last week but Chavo isn’t as good as Eddie. There’s not enough to this story to keep it going for so many weeks, mainly because the Bashams have no characters other than liking to be whipped by Shaniqua. Chavo is trying but at the end of the day, he’s Chavo Guerrero and working with Eddie. There’s only so much he can do.

Post match Shaniqua kicks Chavo in the face, setting up a double beatdown.

Kurt Angle won’t talk about the fifth member.

Chavo gets treatment as the Bashams laugh from the locker room. IT WAS A RUSE! So now the Bashams and Shaniqua are outsmarting Eddie and Chavo?

Bradshaw vs. A-Train

….oh dear. They fight over a lockup to start until Train clubs him upside the head a few times. Bradshaw sends him to the floor to no avail as Train runs him over back inside. The catapult into the middle rope has Bradshaw in more trouble and we hit a bad sleeper. Bradshaw reverses into one of his own but gets suplexed down. Somehow, that’s enough to keep A-Train down at the same time, mainly because wrestling is weird that way. Bradshaw gets in a dropkick (!) and swinging neckbreaker but charges into an elbow in the corner. The Derailer gets two and it’s the Clothesline to put A-Train away.

Rating: D. Oddly enough I didn’t hate this as they just hit each other really hard for a while. The problem is they did that for over six minutes, which is far longer than these two should be out there. The other problem is Bradshaw. There’s nothing about him (at least in this version) that makes him anything more than a big guy with a hard clothesline. I need something more than that to get invested in.

Angle and Benoit are in the back with Benoit really not liking Angle’s pick for the fifth team member. Whoever it is has made a career out of making them miserable and they can’t be trusted. Angle points out that they feel the same way about each other but sometimes you have to deal with it to reach a common goal. John Cena comes in to say he doesn’t like them either but he’ll team with them to get his hands on Team Lesnar. Benoit threatens Cena and promises to take it out on Angle if things go badly.

Vince is stressed so Sable brings in a priest to relieve some tension. Sable leaves them alone and Vince recaps the situation. The priest starts praying but Vince asks why his eyes are open. Is he that awed by Vince’s presence? Next Vince wants to pray on their knees but that doesn’t work either. The prayer continues and Vince breaks into laughter. See, this prayer needs to be for Undertaker because Vince has heard the calling. Vince cuts a promo on Undertaker and the priest is stunned. As has been the case since it started, this is stupid.

Video on Raw’s matches.

Tazz and Cole run down the blue show matches.

Brock Lesnar/Big Show vs. John Cena/Chris Benoit

Cena and Lesnar start things off and it feels so much more natural to have Cena as a face. Lesnar throws him around without much effort and drives the shoulders in the corner. Some power drives Lesnar into the corner and it’s off to Benoit for the rapid fire kicks to the ribs. A snap suplex gets two but Show comes in to headbutt Cena down without much effort. The fans chant SUBWAY because that passes for clever around here. Show gets in the chokeslam but Benoit pulls Cena to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cena caught in an abdominal stretch and getting suplexed by Brock. Lesnar tries one too many suplexes though (I’m as shocked as you are) and gets taken down, allowing the hot tag to Benoit. A release German suplex sets up the Swan Dive for two with Show making the save. One heck of a clothesline takes Benoit down and it’s back to Show for more tossing. That means more SUBWAY chants as Show sits on Benoit’s chest.

Brock’s chinlock keeps things slow until Benoit chops his way up and grabs another German suplex. The hot tag isn’t seen though and Cena is taken back to the apron, allowing Lesnar to grab a DDT. Benoit finally gets in an enziguri for the real hot tag to Cena and everything breaks down. The Crossface to Lesnar has the referee distracted, allowing Cena to low blow Show and hit him with the chain for the pin.

Rating: D+. Dull match, but the ending was the right idea. Cena is still brand new at the good guy thing and it makes perfect sense to have him act like a villain until he gets used to this new role. He cheated to win here but he’s cheating against bad guys. Once this feud is over, he can become the full on good guy that he’s destined to be.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: Survivor Series isn’t looking great overall and the blue side is much weaker than its red counterpart. Undertaker vs. Vince is a bad story and the Survivor Series match feels thrown together (when Hardcore Holly and Bradshaw are two of your best options, there’s a major problem). Like, are Angle, Cena and Benoit going after the title after this? They’re certainly not acting like it at the moment. Throw in something like that and see if this gets better. As things are now, things aren’t looking good but maybe they can surprise me. Save us Raw?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2003
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and that means things are picking up fast on the blue show. Last week saw most of the Survivor Series match being set up, which may or may not be something that interests you. The big part though: John Cena seems to be turning from the evil side to the good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

Cena says Rey beating him is like Big Show eating one Cheerio. Oh and Rey is a midget dominatrix. The fans love Cena’s jokes and give him a CENA chant as the turn is really starting to click. Cena drops to his knees to start and then bails when certain references are made. A hard shoulder works a bit better for Cena and he breaks up a springboard with a hard right hand. We hit the chinlock back inside but Rey fights up with the sitout bulldog for two. The springboard seated senton gets the same but Cena breaks up a top rope dive with a low blow. An FU is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Cena winning is the right call here as they’re doing something with him and having him lose to Rey would have made him lose some steam as they head into Survivor Series. It’s not like Mysterio needs to win every match so everything is fine here, especially with Cena getting a nice boost.

Post match here’s Team Lesnar, complete with Paul Heyman. Paul likes the idea of Cena taking things like that win, but tonight he’s going to give Cena something. Not a title like he has to earn, but the fifth spot on Team Lesnar at Survivor Series. Actually hang on a second though because no one tells him what to do. Besides, he doesn’t fit in on Team Sasquatch. Cue A-Train from behind to beat Cena down with the rest of the team coming in to join the attack. Lesnar cracks him over the head with a chair and Cena is done.

I know he cheated to do it, but having Cena win makes this better. Today, WWE would do this after he lost a nothing match and then wonder why the angle does nothing. It’s such a logical detail but for some reason it tends to elude WWE time after time, which gets very annoying in a hurry.

Post break, Heyman gives A-Train the fifth spot.

We recap everything falling apart for Eddie Guerrero. Break him down so you can build him up.

Chavo Guerrero tells Eddie that he can’t be out there for Eddie’s handicap match against the Bashams. Eddie needs to do this himself because he’s been the one who caused all of these issues.

Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Non-title. Bradshaw wastes no time in hammering away, just like the fans waste no time in calling this boring. A big boot puts Big Show on the floor and it’s Bradshaw hammering away even more as they get back in. Show kicks him in the face to take over though and the pace gets much slower. Some headbutts have Bradshaw in more trouble as Cole talks about how heavy Team Lesnar is. Bradshaw knees him in the face and takes it outside again with a hard whip sending Show into the barricade. Back in and a chokeslam ends Bradshaw in a hurry. It’s that fast.

Rating: D. There’s not much else that these two are going to do and the short time helped as much as it could. Bradshaw as a singles guy isn’t working very well when it’s just APA Bradshaw as a singles wrestler, doing exactly the same thing. You can only rip of Stan Hansen so many times and it’s not exactly thrilling stuff with Bradshaw on his own.

Heyman tells Torrie that he’s in charge now, backs her against the wall, and tells her she’s going to do this his way.

Kurt Angle is upset that Faarooq is officially out of Survivor Series. Chris Benoit tells him to calm down when Torrie comes in to say Heyman is sending them a message. Tonight it’s Benoit/Angle vs. Team Lesnar (minus Show).

We get a sitdown interview with Undertaker, who hates Vince for costing him the title. Therefore, Vince must be destroyed. Vince doesn’t respect the wrestlers and that’s not cool with Undertaker, so a beating has to take place. You have to be held accountable for your actions and that’s what Vince has waiting on him at Survivor Series.

Ernest Miller is still coming.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Basham Brothers

If Eddie wins, he and Chavo get a title shot next week. Eddie stomps away at Danny to start but Danny grabs a pumphandle, with a hard thrust as Eddie is bent over in front of him. That’s not cool with Eddie or the crowd for that matter as they don’t really react to it. Something like a reverse Michinoku Driver gives Doug two but Eddie walks the ropes for a hurricanrana. A slingshot dive drops Doug but Shaniqua kicks Eddie in the face to cut him off again. The lazy announcers don’t even call her an Amazon this time.

A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and we hit the chinlock. Eddie gets out with a jumping jawbreaker and avoids a top rope legdrop (with some serious height). Backdrops a go-go give Eddie some momentum and he takes them down at the same time. It’s frog splash time but Eddie has to deal with Shaniqua, allowing the Twin Magic switch. Not that it matters as Eddie steals Shaniqua’s whip and gives the ref a spank. Danny gets caught with the whip and while defending himself, gets rolled up to give Eddie the fluke pin.

Rating: C-. I’m over the Bashams’ “comedy” and having them lose in a handicap match wasn’t the best idea in the world (though it makes Eddie look great again, which is the bigger priority). This sets up the title match, and you can almost bet on Los Guerreros losing to further their split, which should help Eddie in the long run.

Post match, Eddie and Chavo are all cool again and leave in the low rider.

Here’s Vince to talk about the buried alive match hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles. Vince wants one more chance and asks for everyone to lower their heads and close their eyes for an invocation. He prays for forgiveness for what he has to do but he’s been chosen to destroy the Undertaker. As usual, I have no idea why this is supposed to be the top feud.

Hardcore Holly is still on his way back.

Tajiri/Nunzio vs. Jamie Noble/Ultimo Dragon

Noble is making a surprise return and goes charging after Tajiri but gets dropped by Nunzio. It’s quickly off to Dragon for the strikes to Nunzio, including the series of rapid fire kicks for two. Tajiri comes in and gets sent to the floor with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. His still unnamed goons offer a distraction though and Nunzio gets in a cheap shot to take over again.

The Sicilian Slice gets two on Dragon and the stomping continues. Back up and Nunzio tries a superplex but gets reversed into a faceplant for a double knockdown. That’s enough for the hot tag to Noble but he gets caught in the springboard flying armbar (Arrivederchi). Tajiri misses the handspring elbow though and gets rolled up to give Noble the pin.

Rating: C+. The cruiserweights are fine and this face turn from Noble has been really well done. I want to see him beat Tajiri up for what was done to Nidia and that means the story has been working. It’s not going to lead anywhere because it’s a cruiserweight match but at least we’re getting a nice little story in the meantime.

Survivor Series rundown, with Noble vs. Tajiri for the title announced.

We recap the Cena beatdown, just after the announcers were wondering who would be Angle’s fifth man.

Brock Lesnar/A-Train/Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Brock sits in on commentary to start. Jones shoves Angle into the corner as Brock brags about how long Jones was in prison. A gorilla press is countered and Angle dropkicks the knee, allowing the tag to Benoit. Morgan tosses Benoit again, which Lesnar compares to throwing bales of hay on the farm. Lesnar: “I think he’s a farm kid.” Tazz: “He’s from Fairfield, Connecticut.” Lesnar: “They got farms up there!”

It’s back to Angle, who avoids a charge to send Morgan face first into the middle turnbuckle. A-Train comes in and bearhugs Benoit as Lesnar keeps listing off stats. Back from a break with A-Train running Benoit over again and throwing him outside. That’s enough to get Lesnar off of commentary and come in for some shots to Benoit’s back. A delayed fisherman’s suplex gives Brock two as the announcers declare Team Angle done because of how much Team Brock weighs. So not only is Cole Art Donovan’s dream commentator, but apparently wrestling really doesn’t matter in WWE.

Morgan grabs a bearhug of his own before handing it off to A-Train, who is taken down with a German suplex. The hot tag brings in Angle and it’s time for the rolling German suplexes. An Angle Slam drops Morgan and another one gets rid of Brock as the straps come down. Kurt gets the ankle lock on Lesnar while Benoit Crossfaces A-Train, drawing in Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but the ending was pretty obvious. You’re not going to have most of THE GREATEST TEAM EVER losing ten days before Survivor Series, even if it’s to two of the best in the world. Jones and Morgan were kept to a minimum here and that’s a good thing. Let them get their feet wet in the next week before going into one of the biggest pay per views of the year. It’s totally logical.

Bradshaw runs in to clothesline Show but Morgan and Jones take him down. Cue Cena with a chair to clean half of the house until a Derailer cuts him off. Lesnar gets the chair and decks everyone, leaving Team Lesnar to stand really tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They’re doing everything they can with this Survivor Series match but it’s turned into Big Show/Lesnar vs. Cena/Angle/Benoit and that’s not the most exciting thing in the world. As a show, this was fine and advanced the stories, but you have to remember which stories are being advanced and that brings things back down. Undertaker vs. Vince is a terrible main event and I’m having trouble remembering that Heyman is even running things at the moment. Not a bad show, but Survivor Series is looking bleak for the blue team.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

No Raw vs. Smackdown this year. Festus starts fast and throws out Deuce and Domino in the first minute. Khali gets rid of Duggan and Burke does the same to Richards. That earns Elijah a chokeslam to the floor from Kane. Miz is out a few seconds later but Cody is able to skin the cat to save himself. Henry backdrops Yang and Moore out at the same time. There goes Jesse, Murdoch, Festus, Kendrick and Cade in less than 45 seconds.

We open with a military fly over which takes advantage of the unique venue.

The opening video again focuses on Wrestlemania moments and how the entire year leads to this night. Flair caps it off by saying you never know when it could be your last. The second half of the video talks about how many things can happen in a year, which leads into the stories that are dominating this show.

Finlay vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Finlay loads one up in the corner but JBL slaps Hornswoggle, knocking him out cold. This was a good example of the weird way they treated Hornswoggle as he seemed to be a kid at times, despite having a beard and being in his early 20s. Finlay beats JBL up for the son abuse and loads up a suicide dive, only to go head first into a trashcan lid. To be fair that dive was going to be a foot short anyway.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. MVP vs. Chris Jericho

Kennedy goes for a ladder before the bell but MVP pulls out a small ladder to clean house. Jericho knocks him down with a regular one so Morrison picks up the small ladder and throws it at Jericho to take over. In an awesome spot, Morrison takes the small ladder to the top and moonsaults down onto four people in a huge crash.

Benjamin is back up with a spinwheel kick to drop Carlito but Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder over, knocking Shelton through a ladder that was bridged between the apron and barricade ala Edge last year. Morrison and Jericho go up and John gets caught in the Walls on top of the ladder. Kennedy, Jericho and Punk climb at the same time but Carlito springboards onto the ladder as well. Not as high as Shelton got last year but it still looked good.

Kennedy pulls Punk down and Carlito gives Jericho a huge Backstabber to leave everyone down. MVP is left all alone but Matt Hardy makes his return through the crowd and takes him down with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Morrison is put in the corner and a ladder is bridged over him, followed by the top of another ladder being wedged into the bottom rung of the first ladder, making a big V shape.

Rating: B-. Another good match here as they had a bit more time, though again there were WAY too many people out there. Punk winning really was a big change of pace and a sign that there might be someone new coming up the ranks. The fans were behind him and he was getting over with pure hard work and a cool character. What more can you ask for than that?

Batista vs. Umaga

Batista hammers away and shoulders Umaga out to the floor for some Samoan shouting. Back in and Umaga simplifies things by kicking Batista in the face and splashing him for two. The slow stomping begins and we hit the nerve hold as the fans chant “OOO-OOO-UMAGA!” I think you can say Batista has lost a little bit in the last year or two.

The announcers preview Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show in an anything goes match.

Mayweather and his entourage are ready.

We recap Kane winning the battle royal on the pre-show.

ECW Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Ric is asked about his game plan for tonight. Flair: “Game plan? To be the man.”

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

A belly to back gets two for Flair and JR points out that Charles Robinson, a lifelong Flair mega fan (called Little Naitch back in WCW) is refereeing. What a thrill that must be for him. Flair gets two more off a butterfly suplex but Shawn grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather. They go back to the floor and Shawn, ever the crazy one, actually tries a moonsault to the floor, which only bangs up his ribs even more.

Flair gets the big emotional sendoff (with nothing from the announcers, a trait they need to relearn today), walks up the ramp, and takes one last bow.

Here are some fireworks to bring the fans back to life.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Post match Santino goes after Maria but Snoop makes the save and kisses Maria.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Orton is defending, HHH earned a title shot inside the Elimination Chamber and Cena returned WAY early from an injury to win the 2008 Royal Rumble. Cena lost his title shot at No Way Out 2008 but beat Orton in a match on Raw to get another shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

HHH slips off and kicks Cena low, leaving the champ to hit a backbreaker on HHH for two. They head up top but HHH pulls Cena off and gets him on his shoulders. Orton comes back with a high cross body, followed by his elevated DDT to both guys. He goes into the crouched position but the RKO to Cena is shrugged off with Orton landing on HHH. The top rope Fameasser looks to set up the STFU on the champ but Orton sends him into the post instead.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show

We recap Undertaker vs. Edge, which is fallout from the previous year where Edge used Money in the Bank to take the title from Undertaker but then got hurt for most of the second half of the year. Undertaker won the Elimination Chamber (one of two that year) to get a spot here. Edge wants to break the Streak as well as defend his title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge loses a slugout and takes Snake Eyes but stops the big boot with a dropkick. The Impaler gets two but the spear hits knee, setting up a chokeslam for two. Old School is broken up as well and a top rope superplex gets two more for the champ. There are the required right hands in the corner to set up the Last Ride but Edge is smart enough to slip out and grab a neckbreaker for two.

A lot of fireworks and the highlight package wrap it up.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

Dang that Mayweather vs. Show match got a nice bump.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: October 30, 2003
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The Heyman Era has its first full night this week and you can imagine that Vince McMahon isn’t all that happy with him. Last week’s show ended with Undertaker managing to defeat Big Show and Brock Lesnar in the same match. Naturally he pinned them both in one match because wins and losses don’t matter to champions in WWE. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s big story with Heyman becoming GM and Undertaker overcoming the odds to set up his Buried Alive match at Survivor Series. It’s amazing how much younger and energetic (and less bloated) Heyman looks here. This eats up over four minutes.

Opening sequence.

At Survivor Series: Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar.

A-Train/John Cena vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Rematch from last week where Angle and Benoit got in a fight. Before the match, Cena thinks Angle and Benoit are breaking up but then they were kissing and making up. Oh and he and A-Train are Han Solo and a Wookie. The chicks dig that about A-Train though. Benoit headlocks Cena to start as the announcers talk about who might be on which Survivor Series team.

A hiptoss sends Cena into the corner and it’s off to Angle to beat on him even more. A-Train comes in and gets suplexed, followed by a backdrop to Cena. That’s enough of a distraction for A-Train to blast Cena with a clothesline, followed by a Vader Bomb for two as the pace picks up a little bit. Something like a Polish Hammer gives Cena two (there’s a move that could come back) and the big clothesline puts Angle down again.

A DDT allows the hot tag to Benoit who starts cleaning house with a running forearm to A-Train. Benoit grabs the German suplex but the Swan Dive only hits mat. Angle is right back in with an Angle Slam to A-Train, only to walk into an FU. Not that it matters as Benoit rolls the German suplexes on A-Train, followed by the Swan Dive for the pin. How often do you see that get a clean fall?

Rating: C. This was entertaining and got a little bit of time to make things that much better. A-Train is good in the role of enforcer and Cena is getting better in the ring. You can see a lot of the Survivor Series teams from here and that makes for some fun times. They could put together a good match and if the build works as well, so be it.

Post match Cena yells at A-Train and gets slapped so Cena kicks him low. An FU plants A-Train and I think the face turn has begun.

Vince rips into Heyman for screwing everything up last week and says there won’t be a Buried Alive match because there won’t be an Undertaker at Survivor Series. Heyman says that’s going to be a problem because he’s given Undertaker time off until Survivor Series. The following is a direct quote.

Vince: “This is what’s gonna happen. Terrorists are going to burn down the Undertaker’s house. His children are going to be kidnapped. His wife, she’s gonna be raped by a motorcycle gang, right in front of him. That’s the plan I want implemented!” BUT REMEMBER! THE MOST DASTARDLY THING VINCE EVER DID WAS CLOTHESLINE AND BODY SLAM STEPHANIE! Vince wants all this done in fifteen minutes or he’s going to strangle Heyman to death in the arena.

Torrie Wilson is getting ready for a Trick or Treat contest and sizes up some of her options. Naturally she just got out of the shower and is in a towel.

Angle asks Benoit to be on his team and Chris accepts. They are NOT friends though.

Heyman goes to see Vince and tells him he didn’t go through with any part of Vince’s plan. Good for him to not be in on the terroristic threats and various other crimes. Vince isn’t happy and promises to strangle Heyman to death and THEN fire him. Paul asks why Vince has sunk this low. He used to go toe to toe with Steve Austin and now he’s happy with slapping around Paul Heyman, Zach Gowen and Stephanie McMahon? Heyman wants the ruthless Vince who destroyed WCW and stared down the federal government. We get the big inspirational speech and Vince seems to buy it.

The announcers want to know what’s going on.

Video on the recent house show tour. Are they running short tonight and needing to fill time?

Ultimate Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio

Tajiri sits in on commentary with his bodyguards at his side. Rey’s tights are rather odd as he has his usual blue/green tights but what looks to be purple cutoff jean shorts over top of them. A spinning springboard crossbody gets two on Dragon as Tajiri is rather tight lipped about anything Cole asks him. He does apologize for misting Nidia but says she’s not nice. Rey dropkicks the knee out and the sitout bulldog is good for two. Dragon backdrops him over the top to avoid the 619 and kicks him out of the air for good measure. The ref gets bumped and Tajiri kicks Rey (behind Dragon’s back) for the pin. Dragon is confused.

Post match Tajiri and the goons get in with Tajiri bowing to Dragon, who just shrugs and leaves.

Big Show and Brock Lesnar bicker about last week’s loss. A production assistant comes in to say Heyman wants to see Lesnar in the ring. Show: “That can’t be good.”

Here’s Heyman, flanked by Nathan Jones and another giant. Heyman introduces Jones as someone who is feared on several continents and was given bad advice by Undertaker. His fellow monster is Matt Morgan, meaning Heyman has scooped both Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff because Morgan will dominate everyone put in front of him. With the two of them guarding him, Heyman wants Lesnar here right now.

Cue Brock with a smile on his face and telling Paul to shut up. Brock isn’t dumb enough to get in there with those two monsters but Heyman wants to talk business. That’s cool with Lesnar but he brings out Big Show just in case. Lesnar still hates Heyman’s guts, but if he wants to talk business then it’s another thing. Heyman has named Lesnar a captain at Survivor Series and he’s already given Brock three team members: Big Show, Jones and Morgan. There are two other men who want to be the last member of the team, so tonight it’s Big Show/Lesnar vs. the APA. Heyman says to trust his greed, which seems to work for Brock.

Orlando Jordan and Paul London are playing Smackdown vs. Raw when Dawn Marie comes in to show off her costume. They seem pleased and go back to the game.

Hardcore Holly is still coming back.

Funaki, in an afro and loud jacket, is the emcee for the Trick or Treat contest. Torrie is a sexy bunny (complete with carrots) and Dawn is Wonder Woman (a required costume). They both get to present their costumes and of course Torrie wins, despite wearing a bit more than she usually does. Next up is bobbing for apples in chocolate with Dawn covering herself in said chocolate and taking her top off. Tazz says that’s the treat so let’s show Funaki the trick. Torrie shoves Tazz into the chocolate. Was this supposed to be funny? The costumes looked good but the “comedy”….not so much.

Ernest Miller is coming. WHY???

Brock offers Cena the last spot on the team but doesn’t get an answer.

Tazz, still covered in chocolate, hugs Cole.

Chavo Guerrero reminds Eddie of his recent losses. He’s sinking low again, like when he was on drugs and alcohol. What is with the writing on this show tonight?

We recap Eddie’s losses. Can we get a match anytime soon?

Here’s a depressed Eddie, on foot, for a chat as the lack of wrestling continues. Chavo wanted a public apology for Eddie losing two titles in a week. It’s true that Eddie let people down, including la familia. Eddie apologizes in Spanish and says what Chavo told him hurt. He’s been fighting his addictions for a long time and it’s life for him instead of a game. A fan says Eddie sucks and Eddie agrees with him. Why did Chavo have to bring that up?

Eddie talks about his character being defined by how he picks himself up after being knocked down. A smile creeps onto his face and Eddie says he’s going to fight for Chavo and his raza. Cue Shaniqua with the Tag Team Titles. Eddie: “A mamacita wannabe!” It’s a ruse so the Bashams can come in for a beatdown but Eddie fights all of them off. Danny breaks up a frog splash attempt though and Eddie gets beaten down. Way to use the energy from that really good promo guys. Chavo FINALLY comes in for the save.

Post break Eddie rants to Heyman about wanting the Bashams so he gets them next week….in a handicap match. You know, like last week. Eddie freaks out.

Angle announces the rest of his team: the APA and Bob Holly. And we’re supposed to pay to see those three against Jones and Morgan?

The announcers mess with the chocolate some more.

Survivor Series rundown.

Since we haven’t talked enough yet, Undertaker has a sitdown interview to talk about why he picked Vince. Sometimes you have to take beatings to get what you want but Big Show and Lesnar will get what’s coming to them later. Undertaker wants the title back so he has to get rid of Vince to get him there. Vince has dug his own grave.

Big Show/Brock Lesnar vs. APA

Yep, it’s your main event. Brock and Bradshaw start things off with the champ throwing him into the corner without much effort. Bradshaw gets in a shoulder but it’s off to Show to run him over again. A side slam and headbutt have Bradshaw rocked even more as this is one sided so far. Faarooq comes in for some better results, including charging at Show and clearly pulling up before hitting a shoulder. Show boots him in the face as everything breaks down. A chair to Faarooq’s back is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing match here but you can imagine the post match angle that it was there to allow. The APA just doesn’t matter in 2003 and there’s really no hiding it anymore. They used to be good but Faarooq is too old and it’s getting harder for them to find ways around it. There was nothing to see here and that was the planned idea.

Post match Lesnar and Show destroy Faarooq’s leg with a chair. Bradshaw gets chaired down as well but it’s Benoit and Angle coming in for the save. A double submission goes on but Morgan and Jones run in for the beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Total wrestling time on this show: 12:27. Now I can live with a show with very little wrestling if the rest is good but remember what we had on this show. We went from Vince wanting to have Undertaker’s wife raped to Nathan Jones/Matt Morgan being presented as main eventers to a costume contest with Tazz being shoved into chocolate to a speech about overcoming addictions to Bob Holly being presented as a main eventer. This was horrible and I don’t know if Vince was preoccupied with the wedding or something else but it was a complete mess with almost nothing of value in two hours.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6