Monday Night Raw
Date: July 31, 2017
Location: PPG Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re in Kurt Angle country tonight and it’s already a stacked show. As announced last week, we’ll be seeing Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe in a triple threat match, along with Jason Jordan appearing on MizTV. If that’s not enough for you, Brock Lesnar is here too. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s announcement of the four way for the Universal Title at Summerslam.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle for the hero’s welcome to open the show. Angle is glad to be here and runs down tonight’s card. On a more personal note, it’s twenty one years to the day that he won an Olympic gold medal WITH A BROKEN FREAKING NECK. He wouldn’t be here without any of us and he thanks the fans before leaving….and here’s Lesnar.

Heyman knows what Angle is up to and sees the “angle” that he’s playing here. Kurt has to get the title from Lesnar so he put him into a four way with the most stacked heavyweight division in WWE history. There’s the power of Strowman, the Undertaker slaying Reigns and the Samoan disgrace, the latter of whom Heyman thinks Angle favors.

Angle’s bosses want to make sure that Lesnar loses the title so all three of the challenges are going to beat him down at once. Heyman thinks Angle has been told to pay the “ultimate” price so how about this: if Lesnar loses the title, he and Heyman are both gone from WWE. It won’t matter because Lesnar is going to be winning at Summerslam, whether Angle likes it or not.

Hardys vs. Anderson and Gallows

Revival is on commentary as we hear about the three way feud between these teams. Apparently Matt has been calling Dash an obsolete mule on Twitter. The brothers start in on Karl’s arm with a variety of wristlock. House is quickly cleaned and Poetry in Motion to Gallows sends us to an early break.

Back with Jeff Twist of Fating his way out of trouble but Anderson breaks up the slowest crawl to a corner ever. Karl misses a charge though and Matt gets the hot tag to clean house. Another Twist is broken up and Gallows kicks Matt in the back of the head. Dash: “See, we would never fall for that.” The Magic Killer is broken up and the Twist into the Swanton puts Gallows away at 9:09.

Rating: C. Not a bad match and the three way feud helps a bit, but I could still go for another face team besides just the Hardys. As long as this doesn’t wind up with ANOTHER ladder match I’ll be fine as the story isn’t bad, but it could use a few tweaks to really make it work better.

Post match the Hardys get in a brawl with the Revival. Anderson and Gallows come up to the stage as well, only to have all four villains sent to the floor for a big dive from Jeff.

Renee Young asks Dean Ambrose if he’s getting back together with Seth Rollins. Ambrose isn’t sure but Rollins come up. Dean says the people might want it and even Dean does to a degree, but he’s not getting burned again.

Post break Sheamus and Cesaro laugh at Seth for having no friends. He could even star in his own episode of Ride Along. Seth challenges either of them for tonight and Sheamus accepts.

Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander/Akira Tozawa vs. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese

Only Tozawa gets an entrance. Cedric headscissors Nese around to start and snatches Ariya in an armdrag. Tozawa comes in and adds a backsplash but Ariya goes after the bad arm to take over. Back with Daivari holding the bad arm in an armbar for a bit until the diving tag brings in Swann. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with Alexander and Swann busting out stereo dives to put Nese and Daivari down. Tozawa adds one of his own, leaving Swann to trade rollups with TJP. A big kick to the head sets up Tozawa’s top rope backsplash for the pin at 8:48.

Rating: C. Not bad here, though Daivari continues to feel out of place with his really basic style compared to these high fliers. Tozawa is pretty clearly getting the next title shot against Neville, though I’m not sure he’s going to be the guy to get the title off of him. Why Cedric can’t get a shot isn’t clear but it could make for a good story.

It’s time for MizTV with the Miztourage out in full. Jason Jordan is brought out as the guest but Miz keeps cutting him off to ask about the fans booing Jordan. Jason says he’s ok with the booing because he’s just going to keep going. Miz likes the attitude and offers him a spot in the Miztourage. Jordan says thanks but he’s good. We hear Miz’s resume but Jordan passes again. That’s cool with Miz, who thinks Jordan is cool with his dad handing him everything.

Jason would rather be chewed up and spit out than be associated with someone like Miz. That’s not cool with Miz, who doesn’t have to latch on to a different Olympian every week or rely on someone who was given a job out of pity. Jordan gets in Miz’s face over the Kurt insults but Miz calls off the Miztourage. A charge at Jason is countered into a belly to belly, sending Miz straight into the Miztourage and Jordan bailing before he gets destroyed.

Good but not great stuff here from Jason, who is still finding his rhythm with the talking. Having him hit the one suplex and bail is a good idea as him cleaning house wouldn’t have made the most sense. I could live with him winning the title, though a clean win over Miz would be a big stretch at this point.

Roman says tonight is about sending a message. No matter what those two do, the Big Dog isn’t going anywhere. He’s the only one who can beat Lesnar and tonight he’s going to prove it.

Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins

Seth’s music now features a voice screeching BURN IT DOWN. Just….no. I didn’t like the song in the first place and that makes it even worse. Sheamus headlocks him down to start as the announcers compare their careers. A Cesaro distraction sends Seth outside though and Sheamus posts him to take us to an early break.

Back with Sheamus hitting a super Regal Roll for two, only to get sent face first into the middle buckle. An enziguri knocks Sheamus to the floor and there’s the suicide dive. The Sling Blade sets up….a shot to knock Cesaro off the apron, followed by a rollup to put Sheamus away at 8:30.

Rating: C. I could go for these two having a longer high flier vs. power brawler match but as it is, this was just watchable. I don’t think there’s any secret to what’s coming post match so the match was more along the lines of just a time filler to get to that point. Ambrose and Rollins vs. Sheamus and Cesaro should be fine at Summerslam but I hope we don’t have a bunch of singles matches to get there.

The beatdown is on with Rollins being left laying. Ambrose FINALLY comes out for the save but takes a beating as well. Ambrose tells them to bring it so Cesaro beats him down some more.

Samoa Joe says he’s been putting people to sleep for twenty years and that’s what he’ll do to Brock at Summerslam.

Video on a Special Olympian.

Here’s Bray Wyatt for a chat. There is no escape for anyone, including Finn Balor. Everyone is held down by humanity’s shackles, doing everything they can to deal with pain. You can’t hide from him though because Bray Wyatt is everywhere. He’s right there when the honest man tries to validate stealing and he’s right there when everyone declares themselves as part of the Balor Club.

It’s a sickness that makes everyone think their life can be special. People think they can be like Balor and rise from the ashes but Bray sees Balor as the shell that he’s always been. Bray laughs at this I CAN DO IT attitude and here’s Balor, who appears behind Wyatt in the ring. Wyatt laughs at this as Balor poses with his back to Bray. An enziguri drops Bray to the floor and the brawl is on in a hurry. A dropkick sends Bray into the crowd and Balor stands tall without even taking off his jacket.

Strowman isn’t like most men because he breaks things when he doesn’t like people. Tonight he’s turning Reigns into a pile of broken bones.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Strowman starts running both of them over in the early going, sending both of them out to the floor. Back with Strowman missing a charge and getting kicked in the head for his efforts. Joe kicks Strowman in the head and gets in a fight with Roman, who he pulls down into a Fujiwara armbar. The fight heads outside for a bit with Joe grabbing the Koquina Clutch on Strowman over the barricade.

Strowman is almost out but Joe lets go to fight Reigns inside. The Rock Bottom is broken up and Reigns loads up the Superman Punch, only to have Joe roll outside in a smart move. That’s fine with Roman who hits the Superman Punch off the steps but Strowman is back up to block a spear with a big boot. Strowman LAUNCHES Reigns from the floor back inside but Joe gets in another kick.

The steps are put inside as Joe grabs the Clutch on Roman with Strowman making the save. There’s the powerslam for two on Joe as Reigns has to make a save this time. Strowman is back up with the steps but a Superman Punch knocks them away. The steps knock Strowman outside and the spear ends Joe at 14:38.

Rating: B. I certainly don’t think this means that Reigns wins at Summerslam but MY GOODNESS they have more guts than I thought if they actually go with that. Joe was the only option to eat the pin here (unfortunately) because you don’t want Strowman losing more than he ever has to. Reigns winning is another attempt to troll the fans (in theory) but I’d really hope they don’t mess this up at Summerslam.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show.

Enzo comes in to see Show and apologizes for getting him into this. Show says Cass needs to learn a lesson and he can teach that.

Here’s Elias (yes just Elias now), who happens to be a hometown boy. He grew up here and it was the people of Pittsburgh that inspired him to write this song. Of course it rips on the town and its sports teams until Kalisto cuts him off for a match.

Elias vs. Kalisto

Elias starts fast and throws Kalisto to the floor for a break about a minute in because THAT’S HOW EVERY MATCH HAS TO GO NOW. Back with Elias holding a chinlock and booting Kalisto square in the mask. We hit an over the back backbreaker before Elias just drops him down. Kalisto gets in a few kicks and a springboard seated senton sets up the hurricanrana driver. He might have hurt his back though and it’s a quick swinging neckbreaker (Drift Away) to give Elias the pin at 8:13.

Rating: D. Is it just me or has almost every match tonight followed the exact same formula, even down to the same time frame? Samson winning is a good thing though they actually had me believing they might pull the trigger on the upset. I’m still not sure what they’re going to do with Elias but he’s certainly being protected, at least a lot more than he was in NXT.

Alexa Bliss mocks Sasha Banks for the loss to Bayley last week. Banks isn’t here tonight so there’s no one to help Bayley against Nia Jax.

Rollins comes in to thank Ambrose for what he did but Dean still doesn’t buy it. He knows Rollins wouldn’t have done the same for him and walks off.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Nia throws her to the apron but Bayley slips back in and scores with a shot to the jaw. That just earns her a headbutt and an attempt at a powerslam. Nia slams her down hard and throws her outside for, say it with me, a break a little over a minute in. Back with Nia grabbing a double chickenwing and dropping Bayley flat on her face.

With Bayley on the floor, Nia throws her hair up in a side pony tail for a somewhat odd look. Bayley’s arm is banged up but she’s able to fight back with a bulldog and a dropkick. Another dropkick puts Nia on the floor and there’s a crossbody from the apron. Cue Alexa for a failed distraction though and Nia goes into the steps for the countout at 8:39.

Rating: D+. As usual, WWE shows they have no idea how to use Bayley. Down in NXT, Bayley got over so strongly because they treated her like an underdog. Now on the main roster she’s already had all those big moments (the title win, successful defense at Wrestlemania) and THEN lost to Bliss.

The problem though is instead of having her be the fallen hero who has to fight her way back to the top, she just started winning again and is suddenly in a huge match at a major show. Characters aside, that’s poor storytelling. Outside of some videos on YouTube, we didn’t ever hear Bayley talking about how she had to rise back up the card or how she had to get back to her roots or how devastated she was. It’s Point A to Point D or so with nothing in between and that doesn’t work.

Big Cass is ready to teach Show a lesson.

We recap MizTV.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Before the match, Enzo says he’d rather eat a banana peel before he associates with Cass again. Show jumps Cass during the entrances and hammers away, including the loud chop in the corner. Cass can’t whip him so Show sends him outside instead. It’s too late for a break though so an elbow drop gives Show two. Cass starts taking out the leg though and it’s off to a leglock. A big boot to the jaw just seems to wake Show up though and he chops Cass out of the air. Another big boot drops Show….and Enzo comes in for the DQ at 5:07.

Rating: D. What the heck was that? I guess we’re setting up a handicap match at Summerslam, which could be a good win for Cass though I’m really not needing to see Enzo vs. Cass again. Cass has already proven himself over Enzo and there’s no need to keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Post match Cass throws Enzo down but walks into the KO Punch to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The show really needed some variety and it was showing badly here. There were five matches that all ran within about 45 seconds of each other in time and each one featured a toss to the floor leading to a break about a minute to a minute and a half in. The other problem is that if they kind of ran out of stuff to do after the triple threat as the last hour or so really wasn’t that interesting. They also need to start add some more stuff to the pay per view because the title matches are only going to carry them so far. Not a horrible show here but it REALLY needed to lose an hour or so.

Results

Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows

Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander b. TJP/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese – Top rope backsplash to TJP

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Rollup

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman – Spear to Joe

Elias b. Kalisto – Drift Away

Bayley b. Nia Jax via countout

Big Cass b. Big Show via DQ when Enzo Amore interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: February 20, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and the big draw this week is Hulk Hogan and the Rock being in the same building. I know it’s a battle of the generations but I’m not quite sure they’re going to have the same magic they had a year ago. Other than that, Kurt Angle has agreed to face Brock Lesnar. I’m sure he’s an honest man so let’s get to it.

There are two gift boxes on stage for Undertaker this time but here’s Rock, looking full on heel, to open things up. Cole acknowledges the mixed reaction and Rock certainly seems to notice it as well. Rock loads up FINALLY but has to do it three times before saying it doesn’t matter. He knows there are some fans booing and some that prefer Hogan but it doesn’t matter because he’s still the most electrifying man in sports entertainment today. Point to Rock on that one.

Rock gets back on track but hang on because his phone is ringing. It’s his personal assistant and he not so politely requests some silence. Rock is going to fly out tonight because he doesn’t want to be surrounded by all these hick. He means hickory trees of course and the Rocky chants start up again. Rock has one question: do you really want to boo the Rock? That’s crossing a line and the people need to understand what that could mean.

They keep booing so Rock promises a different Rock at No Way Out. Rock knows Hogan’s not here yet (Rock: “Late as usual.”) but tonight he’s going to show up again and tell Hogan what’s coming for him on Sunday. IF YA SMELL…….hang on a second. If you people want to boo the Rock, SING-A-LONG WITH THE ROCK IS NO LONGER AN OPTION! Rock: “What are you a bunch of sheep? Have some self respect!”

This was one of the best heel promos you’ll ever see as Rock completely directed the crowd exactly where he wanted them to go. When you have a star like the Rock, who is one of the most popular wrestlers of all time, it takes some incredible talent to make the crowd boo him with so much ease. The key thing for me was how Rock was clearly showing them where to go but still looked like he was smiling all the way instead of beating them over your head with his heel stuff as so many would. Check this out and see how to be a great heel.

Chris Benoit vs. A-Train

Benoit is clearly favoring his arm coming in. A-Train throws him around to start and even hits a Muscle Buster. The Trainwreck is countered into a Crossface but A-Train slips out without too much effort. That’s fine with Benoit, who grabs a rollup for the pin in short order, likely due to the bad arm.

Hogan arrives.

Funaki can’t get in to interview Rock due to personal security.

Johnny Stamboli vs. Rikishi

Rikishi hammers him in the back to start as the rest of the FBI leaves. That’s fine with Johnny who GORILLA PRESSES Rikishi (ignore the shaking knees) in the spot that should have gotten him on quite a few highlight reels. Johnny fires off some shoulders in the corner but it’s a Samoan drop and the superkick to give Rikishi the pin in less than two minutes.

And that’s why that gorilla press isn’t ever talked about among impressive feats of strength: because a guy having his first match as part of a new stable had to job to Rikishi clean in less than two minutes because RIKISHI is more valuable than someone who can gorilla press him. I’ve gone on about how ridiculous Rikishi’s status is for months now and it just keeps going for whatever reason. I’m sure Stamboli will be just fine and the whole team, which is a stupid idea in the first place, will be completely successful.

The FBI beats Rikishi down post match. I care so much after seeing Stamboli destroyed in short order.

Angle is warming up with Shelton Benjamin and promises to lead by example tonight.

And now, for one of my favorite moments from this era.

We go to Los Guerreros in Beverly Hills. Chavo: “Didn’t we steal a car over there once?” They hit on a mom walking her baby in a stroller (and of course there’s a camera where the baby would be). The baby is named Emily, which Eddie says mean Light of God. Eddie and Chavo talk about how cute the baby is before sending the woman on her way. The baby is ugly but more importantly they stole the woman’s wallet and watch. This one is a little rough but these would get REALLY good in a hurry.

Shannon Moore/Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Warmup before Matt, who is miserable when dieting and finds Shannon very hard to teach, gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Sunday. We even see the weigh-in from earlier today where Matt stripped to make weight. Shannon spinwheel kicks Rey for two to start but Kidman comes in to drop Rey into a legdrop for the same.

It’s off to the now svelte Hardy to slam Kidman and drop an elbow for two. A front facelock doesn’t last long as Kidman pops up and makes the hot tag off to Mysterio. Matt powerbombs him for two and it’s right back to Kidman for a missile dropkick. Shannon makes the save with a top rope legdrop to give Matt two, only to be sent outside. Rey gets backdropped onto Rey, leaving Matt to Twist of Fate Kidman for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and it accomplished its goal but there was something missing to keep it from getting to the next level. Matt needs to be champion almost immediately as Kidman hasn’t done anything with the title (not his fault as that’s what’s going to happen in a division with no stories and almost no interesting characters) since he won it months ago.

Earlier this week, Cole sat down with Nathan Jones, who has paid his dues and done his time so he’s ready to start in WWE. He wants to be WWE Champion but first (with his head shaking) he has business with the biggest dog in the yard. Jones grabs Cole’s throat and says it’s tick or tock. Tick means they’re alive but tock means they’re dead, even if they have all the time in the world.

The gifts are placed in the ring so it’s Undertaker time. Undertaker, looking annoyed at this thing continuing, opens the smaller box (which is nearly as tall as he is) and finds…..a dog. He beats the other one open and finds…..nothing, only to have Big Show come in from behind to attack. Undertaker eats a chokeslam to end the quick beatdown.

Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia

Paddle on a pole. We hit the token wrestling to start as the announcers again speculate on which Diva will be in Playboy. Torrie takes over but has to drop Jamie Noble, only to have Dawn Marie come out for a distraction. Noble powerslams Torrie and Nidia pulls the paddle down to win.

Torrie gets spanked a few times until Funaki makes the save.

Hogan goes looking for Rock but the security won’t let him in Rock’s locker room.

Here’s Hogan in the arena for a chat but Rock comes out for the staredown before he can say anything. Rock has to get some water first but then he’s ready for an apology. From Hogan that is because there have been a lot of rude and disrespectful things in recent weeks. The ROCKY SUCKS chants come back from the dead as Rock brings up the Rock-a-Jabroni line.

Based on that, Hogan needs to know his role and….and shut his mouth. A year ago, Hogan was nothing until Rock turned him into something again. Hulk refuses to apologize and thanks the fans for being there for him. Rock brings up Wrestlemania, which Hogan probably doesn’t remember after the beating Rock gave him. He tries to do the MILLIONS line but receives near silence for his efforts.

Rock does Hogan’s catchphrase but cuts him off before the shirt can be torn. A handshake is offered but Rock spits at Hogan and bails. More great stuff from Rock here with one important note: Rock kept walking around in circles instead of standing still like he would at the top of his powers. It made him seem more nervous because he didn’t have the people behind him, which is the kind of thing that most people aren’t going to add in.

No Way Out rundown.

Video on the end of last week’s show with Lesnar beating up John Cena to get to Kurt Angle.

Cena raps a threat to Lesnar and declares war on him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Oh of course not. Angle says there’s a stipulation to this so we’ll make it a gauntlet match instead.

Brock Lesnar vs. Team Angle

Lesnar throws Haas around to start before getting caught in a release German suplex. There’s almost no effect though as Lesnar tosses him a few more times before hitting the backbreaker into the F5 for a quick pin. Little more than a squash. Angle fires up Shelton for the second match as we take a break.

We’re joined in progress with Brock sending Shelton flying off a butterfly suplex. Another suplex has Angle hyperventilating but Shelton gets in a few kicks to the face to take over. It’s off to the arm with a flying armbar and then a cross armbreaker. Brock reverses into a powerbomb for the break as Angle is biting his fingernails.

We hit the belly to belly suplexes and Kurt’s distraction completely fails. A spinning belly to back suplex (called an Angle Slam) finishes Shelton and it’s time for Kurt to panic. Heyman’s pep talk gets Kurt inside for the bell, followed almost immediately by Heyman hitting Brock with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was an angle disguised as a match and there’s nothing wrong with that, bait and switch left aside. The ending helps set up Angle vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania, but we’ve still got a six man tag on Sunday and this didn’t do much for that match. The other problem is the crowd, who won’t be happy no matter what happens because it’s not the match they were expecting. WWE is doing that far too often anymore and it’s very frustrating.

Angle saves Heyman from an F5 and it’s Team Angle with the big beatdown. Edge and Benoit make the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Rock helps a lot but that’s all this show had going for it. So much of this show was spent on short segments and matches that add nothing to the show, but even worse do nothing for the pay per view. The ending with Edge and Benoit felt very tacked on as well and that’s not a good thing for a go home show. Not a good episode, though Rock’s stuff is worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: July 20, 2017
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Corey Graves

I’m going to go on a limb here and assume that we’ll be hearing a lot about the Kurt Angle/Jason Jordan story. On top of that, I’m digging this whole grab bag approach to who might show up around here. It’s such a nice change of pace and something that makes the show so much easier to sit through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins is rather perplexed by Truth’s gyrating and dancing, which Joseph attributes to Dance Dance Revolution. Curt takes him down and hammers away before we’re in an early chinlock. Truth fights up with the clothesline and gordbuster, followed by the Lie Detector for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: D. This was actually weaker than most Main Event openers, which is covering a lot of ground. Truth is still a fun act and Hawkins is the kind of guy who can lose over and over like this and still be fine. Nothing to see here as far as wrestling goes but then again, this is the working definition of a dark match and it was fine in that regard.

From Raw.

Here’s Enzo Amore for a chat. He knows he lost at Great Balls of Fire but he knows you have to keep getting up if you believe in what you’re fighting for. He’s not done with Big Cass, who may be much bigger and stronger but Enzo has the heart. Cass threw him fourteen feet to the floor but Enzo got back up and kept going. They were friends for years with Enzo making sure Cass stuck with it because Cass is S-A-W-F-T like a big comfy couch.

Cue Cass to chase Enzo off because Enzo says he’s smarter than the average bear. Enzo grabs a seat in the crowd with an Enzo fan to watch this. Cue Big Show for a brawl but Cass kicks him in the face. The fight is on with Show getting the better of it via a hard chop to the chest. Cass sends him into the post twice in a row though and Show’s ribs are hurt. Kicks to the ribs make them even worse and Show is down. Enzo tries to come in and eats a big boot for his efforts.

From Monday again.

Here’s Angle for the announcement. Everyone is supporting him in this decision and he’s glad to get this off his chest. When he was in college he was dating a woman but then they broke up. Then nine months later, she had a child, which Kurt didn’t find out until recently. It turns out that the kid was a very talented athlete who had several offers to play various sports.

Instead he went to college and earned a degree, followed by pursuing a career in professional wrestling. That son is now a WWE superstar and the newest member of the Raw roster. His name is……Jason Jordan! Jason comes out and hugs Kurt several times but nothing is said.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Anderson and Gallows

Rhyno and Anderson get things going with Karl being run over with a shoulder. Gallows comes in and eats a middle rope shoulder before it’s off to Slater….who gets his head kicked off. Back from a break with Slater still in trouble (as always) via some stomping, followed by a chinlock. A leg lariat allows the hot tag to Rhyno as house is cleaned. Slater gets pulled off the apron though and Rhyno takes a kick to the back of the head. The Magic Killer puts Rhyno away at 9:49.

Rating: D+. Another match with nothing to see here but the fans loved Slater and Rhyno, as they always do. Sometimes you have a fun act like those two and they’re going to get a reaction no matter what they’re doing. Anderson and Gallows are starting to find their footing, which I assure you has nothing to do with getting rid of the horrible comedy segments.

From Raw one more time.

Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Winner gets Lesnar at Summerslam. They trade shoulders to start and it’s Joe being knocked outside as we take an early break. Back with Joe hitting his enziguri in the corner and we’re off to the neck crank. That eats up a long time until Reigns fights up and hits a running clothesline for two. That’s some of Reigns’ only significant offense so far as this has been almost all Joe in the first half.

They head outside with Joe clotheslining him so hard that Reigns lands on the apron. Reigns hits a clothesline of his own to put both guys down as we take another break. Back with Joe talking trash until Reigns comes back with a Samoan drop. One heck of a boot to the face drops Joe again but he’s right back up and blocking a belly to back suplex.

The Rock Bottom is broken up and there’s the Superman Punch for two. With both guys down, cue the returning Braun Strowman to pull Joe out and beat up Reigns for the no contest (though it should be a DQ victory for Joe, who was the first one to be touched) at about 19:00.

Rating: B-. This was definitely the kind of match where they were filling in time until the storyline ending and there’s nothing wrong with that. Neither guy was pinned and it was pretty even when Strowman came in. This is likely setting up what could be a very interesting four way at Summerslam and I’m ok with that.

Reigns and Joe beat on Strowman but both eventually fall victim to powerslams.

Overall Rating: D+. The wrestling drags this one down a good bit as the Raw segments were only ok at best. It’s odd as Monday’s show was a lot more entertaining than this but trimming it down didn’t do it any favors for once. Hopefully things pick up as we get closer to Summerslam. Watchable enough show but it’s more skippable than usual.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2003
Location: Tuscon Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting closer to the Royal Rumble and tonight we’ll be finding out the fifteen Smackdown names in the match. Other than that though, we’re still building to Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle for Angle’s Smackdown World Title. It’s hard to say how they’ll build to that but given the show we’re on, I have a feeling tag matches are in store. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Paul Heyman challenging Brock Lesnar for a Royal Rumble match against Big Show. This resulted in Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore being massacred.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Rikishi

Show towers over Rikishi, which Cole seems to think is impressive. I don’t remember anyone ever accusing Rikishi of being overly tall so as usual, Cole seems to be babbling about nothing important. Rikishi actually knocks Show down to his knee but makes the mistake of trying a slam. A big boot gives Show two and we hit a very long abdominal stretch until Show gets caught holding the ropes. Show hits a clothesline and the chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. They actually did something right with the booking here as while they did spend weeks having Rikishi go over John Cena and Bull Buchanan, Cena did get the pin last week and now Show gets to pin him. I’m not sure I would have had Rikishi beat Cena and Buchanan down after every match but he’s losing when he needs to be losing, which is what matters most.

Heyman promises to teach Lesnar a lesson by the end of the night.

John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Cena raps about how he doesn’t like Chavo for various Mexican stereotypes, including getting mild sauce at Taco Bell and illegal immigration. That would warrant an official public apology today. Or given how Vince likes Trump, a major push. Chavo grabs a headscissors to start and Cena gets knocked out to the floor in a heap.

Back in and a belly to back suplex makes things even worse so Cena blasts him with the hard clothesline. Buchanan gets in a shot to the head so Eddie goes after him and fights off Cena for good measure. That means a dive from Chavo onto both guys and here are the referees to eject Eddie. Back in and Cena heads up top, only to get superplexed for two. Chavo tries a sunset flip but Cena drops down and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was ALL about Chavo here as Cena was only doing a few spots here and there in between all the shenanigans on the floor. At the end of the day though, Cena won the match and that’s where the future seems to be going. That being said, Los Guerreros have been turned face (at least in this match) and there was a lot more steam in their heel run. At least it was great while it lasted.

We recap last week’s wedding with Al Wilson missing most of his clothes.

And now, to the honeymoon suite with Dawn in lingerie, saying she’s exhausted. Al is an animal you see.

Raw Retro: Austin and the beer truck.

Matt Hardy vs. Billy Kidman

Matt, who has a heated toilet seat and likes pulp in his orange juice, isn’t getting a title shot because he’s over the cruiserweight limit. Well that and Kidman NEVER DEFENDS THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE. A headscissors and dropkick have Matt in trouble to start and suggests that Kidman was watching the previous match. Matt bends his neck across the rope and Shannon’s interference lets the Ricochet (suplex into a side slam) get two.

We hit a sleeper exchange until Kidman grabs a Bodog for a breather. Matt is sent outside next to Shannon so Kidman hits a shooting star onto both of them with his head slamming into Shannon’s. Back in and Matt grabs a Side Effect for two but the middle rope legdrop misses. Matt gets rammed into the little MF’er and Kidman’s rollup is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. That shooting star to the floor looked great and it’s nice to see Kidman getting a win. The cruiserweight division is such a disaster at this point that there’s no much that can be done for it without bringing in some fresh talent. Would it really hurt them to try having Shannon in there? Have him win the title and see Matt freak out because Moore has a title and he doesn’t?

Post match Matt says that was an accident and asks for a round of applause for Shannon.

Lesnar is here.

Edge was in Seattle to get ready for the start of Wrestlemania ticket sales.

Torrie Wilson calls last week’s wedding disgusting and tasteless. Dawn vs. Torrie is confirmed for the first ever Stepmother vs. Stepdaughter match. Josh describes this as a Cinderella story. Torrie says that if there was a glass slipper……”Well, where I plan to put it, it won’t fit!”. I would pay so much to see the pitches about keeping this story going. Other than Vince laughing at it, how could it possibly continue?

Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Thankfully it’s not a headscissors into a dropkick this time as Jamie forearms him in the back instead. The Tarantula is broken up and Noble drops him onto the barricade instead. Back in and Noble starts in on the arm instead of Tajiri’s bad ankle. Tajiri fights out of a top wristlock and kicks at the ribs before rolling Noble all the way around into a sunset flip for two.

A great looking German suplex gives Tajiri two and the handspring elbow is good for the same. Jamie is right back up with the Trailer Hitch (a complicated leglock that looked great) but a rope is quickly grabbed. The leg is fine enough for the Tarantula, followed by a superkick to knock Noble out of the air. The Buzzsaw Kick puts Noble away.

Rating: B. They were WORKING here and continue to show why they should both be near the Cruiserweight Title instead of having a meaningless (yet awesome) match here. That’s quite the five minute performance and Tajiri’s kicks look as good as ever. Noble had something with that Trailer Hitch but he almost never used it. Either of these two against Kidman would be fine.

Angle fires up his team.

Nathan Jones is coming soon. He’d be leaving just as fast, though the video made him look interesting.

Charlie Haas vs. Edge

I like the fact that they’re having Haas and Benjamin wrestle singles matches instead of just teaming together. Making them feel like threats on their own can make them all the better as a team. The bell rings and here’s Chris Benoit to cancel out Angle and Benjamin. Charlie takes him down to start and easily throws Edge off for trying a hold of his own. A drop toehold into an armbar works a bit better for Edge and the half nelson facebuster is good for two.

Back up and Haas grabs a belly to belly for two before grabbing a double arm crank. A German suplex gives Charlie two more as Angle is playing a great cheerleader on the floor. Unfortunately he’s too busy cheering to tell Charlie about Edge grabbing a belly to belly of his own to put both guys down.

The Edge-o-Matic is good for two and the flapjack makes things even worse. Benoit goes after Angle for some reason so Shelton superkicks him down. The spear drops Charlie but Angle makes the save at two. Kurt isn’t done as he hits Edge in the back with a crutch, setting up an exploder suplex (without much explosion) to give Haas the pin.

Rating: C+. Even if Haas doesn’t get another win for a good while, now he’s got this one which is all he needs to do to get over in the early going. Haas and Benjamin are going to be fine when they start doing regular tag matches and there’s nothing wrong with that. It helps that Charlie has been in developmental for so long because he’s already solid in the ring. Imagine that: developmental getting you ready for the main roster.

Benoit grabs the mic and says time is running out on Angle because he’s tapping at the Royal Rumble. Since Kurt is still injured, send Benjamin down here RIGHT NOW.

Chris Benoit vs. Shelton Benjamin

Everyone else has been sent to the back. This was scheduled for later but the challenge was still good. They hit the mat to start and Benoit grabs an armdrag, which seems to fluster Benjamin. A very early Crossface attempt sends Benjamin to the ropes and it’s back to another standoff. They head outside with Shelton sending him back first into the barricade for two.

We hit the reverse chinlock for a bit, followed a northern lights suplex for two more. The comeback starts in a hurry with a clothesline into the rolling German suplexes to knock Shelton silly. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but here’s Angle with the other crutch for the DQ.

Rating: C. That’s the best option they had here as you don’t want the #1 contender losing but you also don’t want Shelton to lose his singles debut. It’s almost like they’ve started thinking this booking through instead of having everyone pin everyone until it doesn’t matter anymore.

Angle gets Crossfaced until the Haas and Edge come out. The bad guys clean house and Benoit gets his ankle locked.

So we’ve just had two good, mat based technical matches that helped set up a major World Title match. Now here are Dawn and Al in the shower with Al looking exhausted.

Shannon Moore vs. Bill DeMott

Matt sits in on commentary and says this was all Shannon’s idea. A hard headlock into a front facelock keeps Shannon down as Matt tells Cole about the virtues of Mattitude. Shannon fights back with a middle rope leg lariat but gets clotheslined out of the air. DeMott hits a gutwrench powerbomb for the pin because he can’t pick a finisher already.

Matt yells at Shannon for the loss and beats him up.

Undertaker video, this time set to the Ministry theme.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bull Buchanan

Los Guerreros jump Cena before more racial insensitivity can break out. Eddie hammers on Bull to start and the fans eat up his chest slap. Bull eventually clotheslines him down and stomps away in the corner as an EDDIE chant starts up. Oh yeah they’re full on faces. Something like a belly to back suplex drop sets up Buchanan’s top rope clothesline, which he seems to leave VERY short and is only saved by a timely camera cut.

A Chavo distraction lets Eddie chop away until a backdrop cuts him off again. Cena tries to interfere as well but Chavo hits him in the face with a title, leaving Eddie to show Bull how to properly do a belly to back suplex. The frog splash is good enough to put Buchanan away, drawing quite the positive reaction in the process.

Rating: C-. Buchanan’s near botches aside, this was a perfectly watchable match. The problem here is Buchanan really could be almost any given muscular big man and that’s going to catch up with him in a hurry. Eddie is more than capable of carrying almost anyone to a fine match and that’s what he did here, but Bull isn’t going to be in there with Guerrero all the time.

Dawn, in new lingerie, crawls over to Al and asks if he wants to play some more. Unfortunately, Al isn’t exactly responsive.

We run down the pay per view card without the promised fifteen names for the Rumble itself.

A-Train tells Big Show and Heyman to leave Lesnar alone tonight because he wants to solidify his reputation at Brock’s expense. This is a good example of why A-Train isn’t allowed to talk.

Another Nathan Jones video.

A-Train vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock shoves him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, only to have the chokebomb take him down without much effort. A good looking powerslam drops A-Train again though and it’s time for the first overhead belly to belly. We’ll make it three in a row until a headbutt cuts Brock off. Not that it matters as the F5 is enough to wrap A-Train up without much effort.

Rating: D+. They kept this very, very short here and that’s the right call. A-Train got in his big power moves and then ate the suplexes and F5 for the pin. There’s no need to do anything other than that and they had Lesnar look good by beating up a monster. Again, the smart booking here has carried the night and that’s a good thing.

Lesnar calls out Heyman and Big Show for his lesson. We see them heading to the ring but SURPRISE! The lesson is Brock can’t beat Big Show so they’re leaving.

Oh and Al, again in his briefs, is dead to end the show. You don’t see a character actually killed off in WWE but that’s about all this story deserves.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s how you do a Smackdown. They kept things moving here and that made the show fly by. The Al Wilson stuff is stupid but it’s kind of hard to complain with Dawn there like she was. They advanced a bunch of stories here and, without actually announcing more than a few names for the Rumble, they’ve helped set up their side of the pay per view. The booking was good, the action was solid and the pacing was quick. What else can you ask for from a show?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2002
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year as we’re getting ready to start the build towards the Royal Rumble. We also have Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show/Kurt Angle in a feud that is likely to lead to a major feud down the line, though Lesnar is likely going to need some help along the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle heel turn and the announcement of Angle vs. Big Show for the title this week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie, who seems to be a face again, to open the show. She’s not going to lie to us and say the World Title match is going to happen because it’s been canceled. Last week, after Smackdown went off the air, Brock did something to Angle and now Kurt is out of action for a good while, potentially all the way until the Rumble. She won’t tell us what happened but she’ll show us later tonight. Since there’s no reason given for the delay, here’s Big Show to interrupt.

He’s not happy with the idea of waiting until Royal Rumble but he’s even more annoyed at the fact that Stephanie didn’t name him #1 contender. She was just about to make that match though, RIGHT? Show tries to intimidate her and for once, Stephanie actually sounds scared as she threatens to suspend him. He’ll have a chance to be #1 contender when he faces Chris Benoit in the main event. That’s not cool with Show either but here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit says he’ll break Show’s neck later tonight but Show plays the size card. That just earns him a low blow and Benoit leaves with a smile on his face.

Crash vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott is now all mean and angry, which the announcers tell you as often as they can. He works on Crash’s arm before the match and sends it into the post but of course the referee starts the match anyway. DeMott slaps on an armbar as Tazz praises his psychology. A powerbomb and the moonsault finish Crash in a hurry.

Al Wilson and Dawn Marie exchange gifts: a bottle of Viagra and a camera. Both are for the honeymoon. Again: why is this such a bad thing for Al? Can I get some clarification on that?

Here are Matt Hardy, who was MVP in the 1999 No Mercy ladder match and always sticks to his New Year’s resolution, and a badly damaged Shannon Moore with something to say. They want to talk about something destroying WWE: Brock Lesnar. After that belly to belly injured Moore last week, Shannon didn’t stop but someone must stop Lesnar. Next week, Hardy wants Brock one on one and has a special plan for him. Matt beats Shannon down, though it feels like a lesson instead of a turn.

Heyman and Angle arrive with the latter on crutches and with a big cast around his leg.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Billy Kidman

Edge and Kidman, who seems to get a shot at these titles every other week, are challenging. Kidman hiptosses both champs to start before snapping off a headscissors on Chavo. The champs take over with some chicanery and it’s Kidman in early trouble. Eddie’s slingshot hilo connects but so does an enziguri, allowing the tag to Edge. A double missile dropkick puts both champs down and a flapjack to Chavo makes things even worse.

As usual though, Eddie is smart enough to go after the bad knee but Kidman breaks up the Lasso From El Paso. A quick spear gets two on Eddie and the champs tease leaving, only to have the referee say a countout will give us new champions. Back from a break with Edge missing a charge into the corner to put the champs back in control. Chavo’s chinlock works as well as any other chinlock (aside from Kevin Owens’ of course) and the Edge-O-Matic gets Edge out of trouble.

A double flapjack really gets him out of trouble and it’s off to Kidman, who is suplexed down almost immediately. Eddie misses the Frog Splash and Kidman drops the shooting star on Chavo, only to have Eddie pull the referee out for the DQ. And again never mind as the referee is restarting this as a No DQ match.

Chavo is in trouble to start the second fall but Eddie breaks up another shooting star attempt. Edge hits Chavo with the belt (which Chavo brought in) for two and heads to the apron for a tag for some reason. Cue A-Train with the backbreaker on Edge though, allowing Eddie to Frog Splash Kidman to retain.

Rating: B. Gah they were rolling here until the A-Train interference. Edge vs. A-Train isn’t interesting but these four going on for nearly twenty minutes certainly was with Los Guerreros’ cheating not working for a change. I was digging this match as Kidman continues to show that cruiserweights are more than capable of hanging with the big guys, making the division kind of a waste of time.

Here’s the footage from after last week’s Smackdown. Angle talks trash and beat on Brock bit more until Lesnar fought back and beat up Kurt and Big Show. Kurt took a chair to the head and back to back F5’s on the floor with his knee hitting the post both times. Trainers came out but Lesnar dropped Angle’s knee onto the barricade just to be sure. This would be a way to write Angle off for knee surgery, which makes you wonder why they put the title on him in the first place. Then again, an injured Angle is probably worth more than Big Show at this point.

Back from a break with Heyman in the ring to blame Stephanie for Kurt’s injuries. This brings out Angle on crutches to compare his rookie year to Lesnar. They both won the World Title in their first year but Angle did it without Heyman helping him out. Kurt: “AND I’M AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST! WHO SUCKS NOW???” Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Angle has an agent because he’s a very important person. More importantly though, he’s the kind of man that Lesnar could never be. He’ll defend the title at the Royal Rumble and then he’ll take Lesnar down like the punk that he is.

Heyman agrees, but he has a surprise for Kurt: Team Angle. That would be Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, a pair of All-American wrestlers, with Shelton being Brock’s former roommate at the University of Minnesota. Angle tells Lesnar that’s checkmate. This is a great idea and something that could do a lot of good. If Team Angle is kept strong, they could be a great addition to the tag division, which suddenly needs a burst of energy. The segment was long but it did its job, which is far more important.

B-2 vs. Rikishi

Cena’s rap says that B-2 is the physical version of R2-D2. Rikishi sends B-2 into the steps before the bell as Cena sits in on commentary. That lasts all of ten seconds until he gets up to break up the Stinkface. Back in and Buchanan (mostly) hits his top rope spinning clothesline. Cena tries to bring in a chair but uses the distraction to throw B-2 the chain. That just earns B-2 a superkick and the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Torrie Wilson isn’t sure she’ll be here for the wedding. Her dad comes up to yell at her for being selfish and says he’s getting married next week no matter what. After the wedding, he and Dawn are going to have a child and he hopes it won’t be a disappointment like her.

Los Guerreros celebrate their win when they run into Cena and B-2. Eddie and Chavo speak Spanish but Cena goes into a rap. Eddie mocks Cena’s voice and says they still have the title. This was completely bizarre and yet still rather funny.

Benoit says he’ll win and then go on to win the World Title that has always eluded him.

Angle fires Big Show up.

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

The winner gets Angle at the Rumble. Show doesn’t waste time by throwing Benoit into the corner, followed by a big boot to make things even worse. Benoit chops away and tries the Crossface but gets tossed away with ease. More power offense sends Benoit flying into the corner before Show pulls off a turnbuckle pad. Benoit goes for the knee for a breather, followed by muscling Show up for a German suplex. The Swan Dive (a splash this time as Show is too close to the corner) gets two but the chokeslam is countered into a rollup (with feet on the ropes, though it might not have been intentional) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as good as Big Show throwing Benoit around for a few minutes before getting caught at the end was going to be. Benoit as the #1 contender is a great thing and the story of him never winning the title is a strong story. The match wasn’t bad and they made sure to keep it short to make sure Big Show didn’t mess anything up.

Show tries a chokeslam but gets countered into the Crossface (I always love that counter). Cue Team Angle for the superkick into a German suplex and the debut of the Haas of Pain (kind of a Liontamer/Indian deathlock combo). Show adds a chokeslam as the fans don’t get their requested Brock. Angle comes out to talk trash and chokes Benoit with a crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were very heavy on the storylines this week with several long explanations about what’s going on in the main event. However, we also got a long title match, a World Title match set up for a month away and the debut of a new team. They covered a lot of stuff tonight and that’s the best thing you could have after the mess that Raw has become.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 19, 2002
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re past the last pay per view of the year and that means we only have two Smackdowns left. The big story on the Smackdown side is Kurt Angle becoming the new Smackdown World Champion, having defeated Big Show in a match that was way better than it had any right to be. That puts us on the road to the Royal Rumble, where Chris Benoit might be the new #1 contender. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s tag match with Big Show pinning Angle and then Angle winning the title thanks to Brock Lesnar’s help. This eats up over three minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Angle, with a belt that still says Big Show, to open things up. He lists off his accomplishments but this title win was different. Angle isn’t sure if he could have won the title without Lesnar so he’d like Brock out here now. Cue Brock to one heck of a reaction. Angle agrees to give him a shot at the title anytime, any place. That’s what Brock wanted to hear because he wants his shot tonight. Actually that doesn’t work for Kurt though because he has a non-title match with Chris Benoit. Lesnar will get his title shot next week though, which Lesnar begrudgingly accepts.

Big Show is livid about Lesnar getting the first shot and rants to Paul Heyman about it. Don’t worry though because Heyman has a fan. Again, this takes way too long to accomplish something very simple.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Non-title. Eddie goes right for him and grabs a belly to back suplex to take over. A very fast tilt-a-whirl backbreaker looks to set up the frog splash but Kidman bails away and hits an enziguri. The BK Bomb gets two and the shooting star connects, only to have Chavo pull Kidman away. That’s not a DQ for no apparent reason though and Eddie grabs a Gory Bomb for the pin.

Matt Hardy walks into Stephanie’s office to explain the concept of MF’ers (Mattitude Followers). She’s worried that he won’t be able to face Lesnar tonight but Matt is ready to go.

John Cena vs. Chuck Palumbo

Cena’s rap calls the Buccaneers a rather surprising slur which rhymes with beers. The announcers start talking about the Torrie/Dawn Marie footage as “Bling Bling Buchanan” gets in a few shots on the floor. Cena grabs a seated full nelson (it’s better than the same old chinlock over and over) but Palumbo fights up for the comeback. A belly to belly sets up the discus punch and Chuck heads to the top, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody and grab the trunks for the pin.

Chuck punches Cena out but gets hit by Buchanan’s change. Cue Rikishi for the save because THIS STORY IS STILL GOING!

We get a long, LONG recap of the build to Torrie/Dawn in the hotel room (same as the one from Sunday I believe) and then see about ten seconds, all of which we saw at the pay per view.

We get a sitdown interview with Torrie at her mom’s house in Idaho where she says she’s more proud than anything else. She’s willing to do anything for her father but he’s the one person she’s embarrassed her. As for being a sexual predator, she’s certainly a sexual person, but Dawn is going to find out what kind of a predator she can be. Cue Dawn and Al as Cole suggests that Al has no idea what’s going on. You mean getting to be with a woman WAY out of his league who doesn’t seem to mind being with him in exchange for tormenting his daughter? I still don’t quite get how Al is hurt in all this.

Anyway Dawn calls Torrie a nymphomaniac and says her relationship with Al is sacred. They never run out of things to say and enjoy their late night encounters. She’s never seen a more handsome and virile man than her “Al-sy Wal-sy.” The wedding will be here on Smackdown in two weeks. Torrie storms off because they deserve each other.

Raw Retro: Rock challenges Hogan. That’s one heck of a moment.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

This is over Brock throwing Matt, who has wrestled in 44 states, through a wall. However, Matt comes out holding his good eye and has Shannon Moore tagging along. We’ve got a substitution due to Matt getting something in his good eye, rendering him temporarily blind.

Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore

Brock wastes no time in belly to bellying Shannon OVER THE TOP AND DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR in one of the sickest landings you’ll ever see. Moore somehow doesn’t have a broken leg as he takes the F5 for the pin in less than a minute. Great bump to go with the complete destruction.

Blind Matt gets beaten down as well.

Stephanie tells Angle to clear this up or she’ll do it herself.

Here’s Angle to explain whatever it is that Stephanie was talking about. Angle talks about having integrity and if it were up to him, he’d face Angle and Benoit in the same night. He has a lot on his plate though and he needs good representation. That’s why he’s now represented by……Paul Heyman.

Paul comes out for a hug and says no one should be surprised by this. There was no way Lesnar was ever getting close to the title again and Heyman made sure of it. The plan started when Angle suggested he could get Lesnar’s suspension lifted and Heyman convinced Stephanie to let Brock come back. Angle played Lesnar like a violin (How?) and now the Angle vs. Lesnar match is postponed indefinitely.

Cue a livid Big Show to yell at Heyman and glare at Angle. Heyman says Show isn’t dumped because Show is still his favorite client. To make it up to him, Show can have a shot next week. Kurt isn’t happy but Heyman says it’s cool as long as either of them is champion. Just keep it away from Lesnar you see.

Ok……I need a minute on this one. So Heyman worked together with Show to get the title off of Lesnar and then signed Angle as an insurance policy to give him more leverage to keep the title away from Brock? Ok, fine. And Angle had to get Lesnar’s suspension lifted because Angle couldn’t beat Show on his own? If that’s not it, I have no idea why Lesnar had to be reinstated. Why would Heyman want him back in the first place?

I’m not really sure I get the idea. I guess Heyman thought Angle could beat Big Show so he bought Kurt off before he could, but Angle could only do it with Lesnar’s help? Show can beat an injured Lesnar with Heyman’s help but it takes Angle/Lesnar to beat Big Show? I’m probably missing something in there because this is already far beyond how complicated it needs to be. Just have Show vs. Lesnar go to a double DQ at Survivor Series and then do a triple threat so Angle can take the title from Show and announce Heyman’s plan after. Either way, it sets up an eventual Angle vs. Lesnar match and that’s just glorious sounding.

Bill DeMott/Crash vs. Jamie Noble/Nunzio

DeMott is teaming with Crash because he respects Hardcore Holly. Bill beats on Nunzio and then pulls Jamie in to beat on him as well. A release German suplex sends Noble flying and DeMott makes him tag Nunzio back in. Noble is thrown into Nunzio in the corner and a powerbomb sets up the moonsault to put Jamie away. Crash was never in. So Nunzio debuts one week and gets squashed the next by BILL DEMOTT. I’m so glad to know this show has a plan for everyone.

DeMott beats Crash down as well.

Edge is ready to beat up A-Train again tonight.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train charges straight at him to start but Edge slips out of a gorilla press. It’s already time to go after the knee though as A-Train lays on it and then grabs a half crab. Back up and Edge hits an enziguri followed by a missile dropkick due to the bad knee. The bicycle kick gives A-Train two and it’s right back to the half crab. The chokebomb is broken up and Edge spears him for the pin.

Rating: D. This was as good as A-Train doing half crabs for five minutes was going to be. I still don’t get the idea behind pushing him like this but it seems to be time for the big guys to get their pushes. Edge sold the leg well enough but there’s only so much he can do in a story like this.

Josh Matthews recaps Angle vs. Lesnar and it still doesn’t make a lot of sense. Lesnar comes in and says his state of mind is a good question.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title. Benoit takes him to the mat for an early hammerlock and a very fast armdrag. They head outside with Benoit chasing him back inside for the first suplex. Angle gets in his own overhead belly to belly as the announcers marvel at Heyman’s brainwashing abilities. Heyman even gets in a belt shot to Benoit for two and it’s time to trade some chops. A chinlock keeps Benoit down for a bit and a release German suplex drops him again.

Angle is right backup but a double clothesline puts both guys down. It’s Benoit up first with the seven rolling German suplexes, causing Heyman to put his head in his hand, as if he knows there’s nothing that can be done at this point. The Swan Dive sets up the Crossface but Big Show lumbers down for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Good match as usual but you could see the ending coming from a mile away. They’ve done this match too often lately though and it’s starting to get tiresome. It’s still entertaining but there are other options out there. Put Angle in there with Edge (because Heaven forbid we don’t get the A-Train match in there) or anyone else to save Benoit for later.

Lesnar runs in for some suplexes but gets beaten down as well to end the show. My only other thought here: Heyman reminds me of Louie De Palma in far too many ways.

Overall Rating: D. Really big step down here as this whole thing was about two stories with a few other matches filling in the rest of the time. The Heyman stuff is more complicated than it needs to be and the Dawn/Torrie stuff is clearly going nowhere. If you’re over fourteen years old here, you know you’re never going to see more than you saw at the pay per view and after that you have whatever disaster the wedding and ensuing match are going to be. This really wasn’t a good show and Smackdown should be better than what they did here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Histories of Saturday Night’s Main Event and Clash of the Champions, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Armageddon 2002
Date: December 15, 2002
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

In case you didn’t get this from the Raw’s leading up to this show, this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. It’s so much about them that we’re seeing them fight three times so HHH can win the title for the second time in just over three months. Oh and we might see Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie’s, ahem, home movie. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has Freddie Blassie quoting the Bible about Armageddon, followed by The End Is Here playing over shots of bombs and missiles. And various wrestlers of course. That’s not disturbing whatsoever.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Goldust/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Jericho and Christian are defending, Booker/Goldust are having issues believing they should keep teaming, the Dudleys are REALLY fired up to be here, Regal and Storm are on a roll and this is under elimination rules. Got all that? Storm forearms Bubba down and actually gets the better of a quick slugout, only to have Bubba shout DIE CANADIAN SCUM and hit a corner splash.

Goldust comes in to uppercut Regal but the champs take over in the corner. That goes nowhere either so Bubba comes in for some stereo Flip Flop and Flying into the Bionic elbows in a somewhat odd visual. Everything breaks down and Christian eats 3D but Regal tags himself in. A small package (and an ugly one at that) gets rid of the Dudleys (with JR not being clear on what happened), followed by a Goldust rollup to get rid of Storm and Regal to put us down to two. Or what it should have been in the first place without the extra five minutes being a waste of time.

The Hart Attack with the side kick instead of a clothesline drops Jericho with Christian making the save. Goldust misses a crossbody and falls to the floor, where Jericho sends him into the steps. We settle into the regular tag formula with Christian putting on an abdominal stretch, followed by a double stomping in the corner. JR explains the concept of cutting the ring off, which isn’t something you hear explained that often. Perhaps because it’s rarely done outside of a Revival match anymore.

Goldust finally catches christian in a sidewalk slam and it’s off to Booker with a very nice pop. The Walls are countered into a small package for two but the second attempt works better with Booker in a lot of trouble. Goldust comes in with a bulldog for the save, followed by crotching Christian on the top. A missile dropkick gives Booker two but Jericho gets in a belt shot. The Lionsault is good for two but Booker grabs the Book End for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. So the first two eliminations really didn’t need to happen and those teams could have been added to the show in their own match. Goldust and Booker FINALLY winning the titles is the right call and they went about as far as they could before getting the belts. I would have had Goldust get the win to prove he’s not the weak link but just getting the win is all they needed to do.

Booker tells Goldust that he’s not a weak link.

Brock Lesnar asks Josh Matthews who he is and says he’ll make an impact in the Big Show vs. Kurt Angle match.

Edge vs. A-Train

Edge has a bad knee coming in and is here to defend Rey Mysterio’s honor. A-Train shoves him into the corner to start before catching a crossbody with ease. Thankfully Edge tries to speed things up, only to get shoved into the barricade for his efforts. A charge only hits post though as the fast start continues. Back in and A-Train gets two off a powerslam before it’s off to the chinlock less than four minutes in. Edge makes his comeback as this is feeling more and more like a TV match every second.

The half nelson faceplant gives Edge two and the announcers keep calling A-Train Albert. A super spinning Edge-o-Matic gets two (with Edge pulling the trunks WAY too far up in the front) but A-Train bicycle kicks him out of the air for two. It’s chair time but Edge gets in a baseball slide to knock it away. The chokebomb gives A-Train two and the spear gives Edge the same, only to have A-Train chair Edge in the knee for the pitiful DQ.

Rating: D-. I really need more from this on a pay per view as this felt like the match to set up the pay per view rematch. A-Train just hitting him in the knee for the ending doesn’t work and certainly doesn’t help him. Unless Edge is taking time off thanks to a big post match attack, I really don’t get this one.

There’s a post match attack, but it’s Edge unloading on A-Train with the chair as his knee looks fine. What in the world was the point of this?

Big Show wants to go yell at Stephanie but Heyman talks him out of it, making Stephanie sound like a mob boss who would have Show sleeping with the fishes if he dared cross her. Heyman promises to take care of things.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

The announcers basically call this a #1 contenders match though that’s not official. Eddie takes him to the mat and works on the leg as we hear about their very long history together. It’s off to a headlock on Benoit, who manages to tie their legs together to keep Eddie in check. A suplex sets up a chinlock on Guerrero but he reverses into a shortarm scissors as they’re keeping it on the mat so far.

Benoit powers out in that Bob Backlund display that looks less impressive every time a smaller guy does it. Eddie keeps it on the mat with a headscissors and the fans think it’s boring. I’m sorry they’re not big, bald and hairy but try to let something fresh into your wrestling minds people. Eddie sends him outside for a good looking dive before working on Benoit’s knee back inside.

A variety of leglocks have Benoit screaming in pain but he finally pops up for the rolling German suplexes. Benoit gets all the way to seven before Eddie reverses into four German suplexes of his own. The frog splash is good for two and Eddie gives a great stunned look. They both fall out to the floor with Eddie getting back in first, allowing Chavo to run out with a belt shot to the back of Benoit’s head. That’s only good for two as well, more or less guaranteeing that Benoit is winning here.

A modified Lasso From El Paso sends Benoit straight to the ropes, allowing him to pop up with a heck of a powerbomb. More Chavo interference fails and Benoit hits the Swan Dive, which Eddie mostly no sells for another Lasso. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface. Eddie goes for the ropes so Benoit switches arms and rolls into the middle of the ring to make Guerrero tap.

Rating: A-. Were you expecting this to be anything other than great? You have two guys this talented and this familiar with each other with over sixteen minutes on pay per view so of course it’s the likely match of the night. I know they can do this stuff in tag matches but it’s refreshing to have them just do a great singles match. Benoit was the pretty clear winner here but Eddie was more than up to the task here. That switching of arms at the end made Benoit look even better though and he more than deserves a title shot at this point.

Paul Heyman comes in to Stephanie’s office and talks about how much he’d love to sign Benoit. Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it because Lesnar’s suspension is already lifted. They talk about the integrity of the title with Stephanie saying we’ll have to wait and see what Lesnar does tonight. This has been a commercial for the show you’ve already paid for.

Long recap of Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson. Dawn decided to marry Torrie’s dad, presumably to get to Torrie. It turned out that she just wanted to sleep with Torrie so she offered to call off the marriage for one night for her. Of course it was filmed and Dawn is threatening to show the tape tonight because Torrie enjoyed it. That would be the worst thing ever for some reason you see.

Here are Dawn and Al, who has no issue with any of this for some reason. Or maybe he’s miserable. You never can tell with him. Anyway Dawn recaps things again and says Torrie isn’t here tonight before showing the footage. After seeing everything we saw on Smackdown (twice now) before we get to the new stuff. Dawn gives her champagne and eats a strawberry before unzipping Torrie’s leather jacket revealing…..pretty much the same kind of outfit Torrie would wrestle in.

Dawn takes off Torrie’s skirt to leave Torrie in her lingerie before taking off her own robe. She whispers that men can’t give Torrie what she can. They kiss and Torrie seems to be getting into it but Dawn says freeze the footage. She tells Al that we’re going to keep going so we see more kissing before Al stops it for good. Dawn promises they can make their own tape to make up for it and we’re done. This ate up about ten minutes and was every bit the waste of time you would expect it to be.

Kane vs. Batista

Batista has Ric Flair in his corner but gets dropped by an early neckbreaker. An elbow gives Kane two but Batista hot shots him onto the ropes. Kane fights back but gets sent outside where he beats up Flair for fun. Back in and Kane boots the rookie down but the top rope clothesline misses. The Batista Bomb doesn’t work though and Kane hits him low for a rather heelish move. The spinebuster gives Batista two but he walks into a chokeslam. Flair comes in for a distraction though, allowing the Batista Bomb to put Kane away.

Rating: D-. This wasn’t just a bad match but it felt like it belonged on a TV show instead of a pay per view. Batista looked lost for the most part with the fans giving up on the match after he couldn’t pick Kane up for the powerbomb. On top of that it was basically a handicap match with Flair involved, which makes for a really bad use of time.

Here are John Cena and B Squared (yes Squared again instead of Two) to rap about how awesome they are and how it doesn’t matter who they tick off. Marcia Brady is mentioned as well. This took less than two minutes.

We recap the women’s triple threat match. Victoria took the title from Trish Stratus at Survivor Series and then Jacqueline beat Victoria in a non-title match on Raw because SHE’S FROM TEXAS AND ALL TOUGH AND STUFF LIKE THAT. Now we’re having a triple threat for the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Jackie being sent outside as Jerry wonders if Victoria is horizontally accessible. A superplex drops Trish with Jackie stealing two as you can hear JR getting annoyed at Lawler’s jokes. The challengers make a wish on Victoria’s legs and send her outside, leaving Trish to hit a neckbreaker on Jackie. The Chick Kick drops Jackie again but Trish takes WAY too long covering, followed by a slow count, which really screams blown save. Victoria grabs the title and hits Trish, setting up the pin on Jackie to retain.

Rating: D+. They were trying here but Jackie didn’t need to be involved and the timing really hurt things here. Trish vs. Victoria is one of the better feuds they’ve had in a long time but they’ve pretty much reached the peak of the feud. We’re pretty much just waiting for Lita to come back at this point and that makes things a bit hard to sit through.

Victoria steals Trish’s hat.

Angle keeps trying to convince Lesnar to be in his corner, including promising him retribution if Brock joins him. We see the end of the Survivor Series title match but Lesnar still won’t say anything.

We recap Big Show vs. Kurt Angle. There isn’t much to talk about though as Show won the title four weeks ago and Angle won a four way to earn the title shot. Lesnar was suspended for a few weeks in a side angle that added absolutely nothing to this, aside from giving us more Stephanie TV time.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show

Angle is challenging and there’s no Brock to start, meaning he’ll be the official run-in. Show easily tosses him down to start so Angle tries a front facelock. That just earns him a toss over the top and right onto Heyman, but the distraction allows Angle to dump Show out to the floor. Back in and Show continues his dominance with a clothesline and suplex as Angle can’t get anything going so far.

The match is so one sided that Cole gets to list off all of Big Show’s measurements that you’ve probably memorized over the years. The Final Cut gets two as the fans chant USA with Tazz pointing out that Big Show is an American too. We hit the bearhug that you knew was coming until Angle bites his way out. Angle chokes him down and gets most of a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Tazz: “Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle right now!”. That line still drives me crazy and it’s even worse when they’re both down.

Angle dropkicks the leg out and a good looking missile dropkick gives Kurt two. The moonsault press only has Angle’s feet hit Show in the head and the Angle Slam is good for two. The ankle lock goes on in the middle of the ring and the kickoff sends Angle into the referee. You can see a lot of the crowd looking towards the entrance as the Brock chants start up. Heyman throws in a chair which goes upside Show’s head for two with the kickout wiping the referee out again. Cue A-Train to break up the ankle lock but here’s Brock to F5 Show to give Angle the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This was watchable because they had Big Show laying around for about a third of the match but it could have been FAR worse. At least they did the smart thing by giving the title to one of the hot acts who can have a great match with just about anyone, thereby opening the doors to a ton of fresh opponents, including Lesnar down the line. It’s not good but this could have been a disaster, so we’ll call this a success.

Rob Van Dam is at the World and picks Shawn to win.

Long recap of HHH vs. Shawn Michaels. They hate each other, they beat each other up, now it’s three matches for the price of one because we need that much HHH in our lives. This is 2/3 falls with the first fall being a street fight, the second being a cage match and the third being a ladder match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and HHH’s right quad, as in the leg that he didn’t tear, is taped up. Shawn has that weird sleeves made of mirrors thing that he wore at the 1997 Royal Rumble. To be fair he’s the only one who could pull that off. Before the bell, the referee ejects Flair because THIS IS THE KIND OF IMPORTANT MATCH THAT NEEDS TO BE FAIR!

Shawn hammers away to start and skins the cat before baseball sliding HHH into the barricade. A plancha misses though (with HHH not really moving so I’m not sure what Shawn was aiming at, save for maybe a trashcan that HHH had pulled out) and HHH is limping less than two minutes in. Shawn’s second dive hits the trashcan (at least it was from the ropes instead of over them so it was a different spot) but HHH can’t follow up.

Instead Shawn grabs a table but has a trashcan kicked into his face. HHH’s limping is getting worse and since this is getting AT LEAST half an hour, we could be in for a very long night. HHH sets up a second table next to the one Shawn loaded up but gets suplexed back inside for two. The jumping knee with the bad leg knocks HHH down as well and I get more and more worried about how bad this could get.

It’s time to start in on Shawn’s back but Shawn gets in a side slam to drive HHH through the chair in a smart counter. They head outside again with Shawn working on the back despite THE BIG BANDAGE ON HHH’S LEG. Even Lawler is pointing out the lapse in thinking so you know it’s bad. HHH blocks the superkick and twists the knee around, meaning they’re both working on the others injured body part. A chop block sets up the standing Flair working on the leg package, capped off by the Figure Four.

Shawn turns it over after nearly two minutes in the hold so HHH goes with a trashcan lid to the head for two instead. They head up the aisle with HHH sending him into the set before finding the barbed wire 2×4. HHH isn’t done though as he lights it on fire first. Shawn takes it away though and hits HHH with it, drawing some blood. It had better given that it’s a flaming 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire.

Back to the ring with HHH on his feet despite being hit in the head with something that should have killed him. HHH plays Raven with a drop toehold to send Shawn into an open chair but the Pedigree is countered with a low blow. Not that it matters as HHH hits the bad knee and gets the Pedigree for the first fall.

The cage is lowered and it’s pinfall or escape (I’m assuming Fink forgot to say submission but JR doesn’t say it either). Before the cage is all the way down, HHH throws in some more weapons, including a table and chair. One heck of a chair shot knocks Shawn sillier and the table is set up in the corner. Shawn gets catapulted into the cage and both guys are busted. The pace gets even slower and Shawn hammers away with right hands. They fight up to the top of the cage and here’s Flair back at ringside because why not.

Ric sets up two more tables on top of the original two as they slug it out on the top without much going on. There’s no big crash though as they go back inside with HHH getting crotched on the ropes. The top rope elbow seems to suggest that Shawn’s knee is much better in a hurry….and Flair is in the cage because the referee is incompetent. Shawn cuts him off and chairs both guys in the head, naturally making Flair bleed as well.

With Shawn beating up Flair, HHH walks away from the open door (some cerebral assassin) and it’s back to back superkicks to drop the villains. The stupidity continues as Shawn doesn’t cover or run out of the cage but rather sets up another table (that would be five I believe). A splash off the top of the cage drives HHH through the wood and ties things up. So now it’s a ladder match with both guys basically dead.

A very bloody Flair is helped out as the cage is raised and Shawn gets a ladder. Various ladder shots (which Lawler says is like being hit by a car) have HHH in even more trouble and Shawn suplexes him onto the ladder for good measure. The ladder is set up in the corner but Shawn misses the huge splash, landing right on his face.

HHH gets in a weird Pedigree as he has to stretch the bad leg out so it doesn’t slam into the mat. The fans are busy looking at something in the crowd as HHH makes the slow climb. That’s broken up but Shawn’s slow climb is countered with a shove through the tables, allowing HHH to climb up and regain the title.

Rating: C-. This is a really, really hard one to grade but let’s get the big problem out of the way first: there was no reason to have this be more than one fall. Either do a street fight (which was boring but watchable) or one of the other two but the whole three falls thing was ridiculous with the ladder match not even breaking eight minutes. The cage match was basically a continuation of the street fight with just one attempt at escaping, plus Flair just walking into the cage, making it a complete waste of time. HHH looked horrible out there but Heaven forbid we don’t cater to him, bad leg or not.

There’s a good match in there somewhere, but it only works with HHH on two good legs. On top of that, this needed to be cut in half. It’s just under forty minutes total and easily could have been about twenty with every bit as much effect. Shawn looked passable but old, which isn’t exactly the best combination in the world. The match could have been better but with what they were going for here, it’s a pretty hard disappointment. In other words, cut out HHH’s ego and it’s probably far better.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a pretty solid surprise with a few good matches (and one great one) but there’s also a lot of really bad stuff dragging that right back down. The Dawn and Torrie stuff really started bringing the show down as it’s not only stupid but fairly worthless to anyone with the internet at that point. You can see almost anything you want so two women in lingerie isn’t quite enough.

The problem is the rest of the show takes a big dip after that with the best match probably being Angle vs. Big Show, mainly due to it not being forty five minutes counting intros. The first half of the show is better but it hits a hard wall and there’s really no recovering from that point on. I was expecting a disaster though so this was a good bit better than I thought I’d get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 12, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final stop before the final pay per view of the year and there are two major stories at the moment. First up we have Kurt Angle becoming the new #1 contender to Big Show’s Smackdown World Title, meaning the hopes of most of the fans are on his Olympic shoulders. Other than that we have the sports entertainment shock value of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the Torrie/Dawn stuff from last week with Torrie agreeing to spend a night with Dawn to keep Dawn from marrying her dad. They’re really not hiding the soap opera nonsense are they?

Opening sequence.

Rikishi vs. B2

Now it’s B Two instead of B Squared. Sounds like a vitamin. Either way he poses at Rikishi and gets punched in the face but it’s way too early for the Stinkface. Bull’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Cena offers a distraction and gets kicked in the face. The second distraction works a bit better though as Bull hits him low, allowing Cena to chain Rikishi in the head for the cheap pin.

Torrie Wilson arrives and Jan the Makeup Lady says she’s been hearing rumors about what happened in the hotel room last week. I thought it was pretty obvious given how things started but maybe we need to spell it out: they did a Jungle Book jigsaw puzzle and watched the Facts of Life.

Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a Brock Lesnar autograph signing and offered to get the suspension lifted in exchange for Lesnar being in his corner on Sunday. If Brock helps him, he’ll get the first title shot. Lesnar says if the suspension is lifted, he’ll think about it.

Big Show is with Albert, who is now named A-Train (certainly an improvement), and Paul Heyman. New interviewer Josh Matthews (shoot me now) comes in to ask about the Lesnar/Angle situation and the champ is livid. For reasons that I don’t even want to be able to fathom, these two segments were edited off the WWE Network version. The only way to know about them is Cole’s recap in the next match.

Show and Heyman yell at Stephanie, who throws them out.

Bill DeMott vs. Shannon Moore

DeMott is now an official bully, meaning he and Ryback should go out for soup and grape juice. Moore tries to hammer away but gets thrown around and smashed with a clothesline. A powerslam sets up a heck of a moonsault to give Bill the pin.

Now Stephanie will hear from Heyman and Show, the former of whom doesn’t want to hear about Scott Steiner. As for Lesnar, he makes Smackdown money so the suspension is lifted. Then why did she suspend him in the first place? To prove that he’ll get a week off if he breaks the rules? This was Stephanie showing off her power side with the hands on the hips and lethal sneer. To be fair the look works for her.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Billy Kidman/Chris Benoit

Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie to start in a preview of their match on Sunday. An early Crossface attempt doesn’t work but a backdrop has Eddie in trouble. It’s a double tag to bring in Kidman, only to have Eddie cheap shot him a few times to take over. The slow stomping begins and a spinebuster gives Chavo two.

Even Eddie can’t powerbomb Kidman but it’s still not enough for the hot tag. Kidman starts wildly swinging to slow Eddie down and a powerbomb is enough for the hot tag to Benoit. Eddie gets caught in the Crossface and we take an abrupt break (just like on Raw). We come back with Kidman holding Chavo in a chinlock as we see Eddie tapping during the break, albeit behind the referee’s back.

The champs take over with Eddie legbarring Kidman very close to the corner. He really should know better than that and I don’t have much sympathy for him when Benoit comes in and kicks Eddie in the head. Eddie blocks the tag though and grabs a keylock. Some good old fashioned cheating sees Chavo switch places for a keylock of his own. Chavo decks Benoit off the apron but Kidman gets in an ankle scissors.

The referee doesn’t see a tag but Benoit comes in with the rolling German suplexes anyway. Chris Swan Dives onto Eddie for two (with Cole asking why there’s a count) as everything breaks down. Benoit Crossfaces Chavo for the tap but the referee is looking at Kidman, who misses the Shooting Star. Eddie grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes to retain. So he watches Benoit cover but not when he has the Crossface? Biased jerk.

Rating: B. It’s almost like the tag team formula works very well when you let it have the time to go somewhere. These four work very well together and, as usual, Kidman proves that the cruiserweights can easily hang with the heavyweights, thereby proving that the weight divisions are stupid in wrestling. Great match, as you would expect.

Torrie goes to yell at Dawn and says what happened in the hotel room was personal and just between them. Dawn can’t believe what she’s hearing and takes off her robe to reveal lingerie. Torrie doesn’t seem to mind it at first before yelling at Dawn to cut it out. There hasn’t been one lie though and Torrie doesn’t deny it. She does however demand that the wedding be called off tonight. Torrie leaves and Dawn smiles.

Raw Retro: HHH interrupts Stephanie and Test’s wedding. Again, edited off the Network but it could be because the Motorhead theme is edited over My Time.

Here’s Dawn, after the fastest change into a dress in recorded history, for a chat. She asks Al to come out here and confirms that everything he’s heard about her and Torrie is true. Al doesn’t seem to care so Dawn talks about looking into Torrie’s eyes and seeing Al in them. If that’s not creepy enough, every time she kissed Torrie’s lips, it was like she was kissing him.

Dawn knows Al will never find a woman like her and he wants to marry her anyway. Torrie comes out for some of the most violent slapping you’ll ever see so Dawn promises to show the full tape on Sunday to prove how much Torrie enjoyed it. This is pure trash but Al’s “acting” is so bad that it’s hard not to laugh. He just stands there with no reactions, even to the fact that his fiance slept with his daughter and they kiss alike.

Tazz immediately starts basically promising various adult material on Sunday as we look at replays. This really is the second biggest Smackdown story (and not that far from first). On a show with the Smackdown Six mind you.

Jamie Noble vs. Crash

Tazz thinks Jamie’s cousin Nunzio is 6’11 and 320lbs and works for the mob. Jamie elbows Crash in the face to start and they slug it out with Crash getting the better of it. A faceplant gives Crash two and it’s Crash Landing time, only to have Nunzio (ECW’s Little Guido, who Tazz suddenly doesn’t recognize despite the ECW chants) come in for the DQ.

The double beatdown ensues but Nidia doesn’t look pleased.

Scott Steiner arrives.

Stephanie comes to the ring to sign Steiner as Tazz and Cole look at WWE Magazine, naturally featuring their boss. Steiner takes the pen but won’t sign because last week, after the cameras stopped rolling in the limo, nothing happened. See, Stephanie didn’t put out for him because she’s wholesome, unlike that Torrie Wilson. Now why would you think Stephanie was on her level in the second story based on sex in exchange for a deal on this show?

Anyway, Stephanie suggests that she’ll do it if he signs so Scott puts her on the table and wants to go right now. Stephanie goes on a rant about her moral standards but Scott doesn’t want to hear it. If he can’t trust her in his personal life, he can’t trust her in his business life. Therefore, he’s signing with Raw. Eric Bischoff comes out to gloat and Stephanie throws a fit.

We get an update on Rey Mysterio’s knee injury, which is worse than they thought. There’s no word on his return time.

Edge has a knee injury of his own but he’s ready to focus on his tag match tonight. Angle comes in and agrees to have Edge’s back in the tag.

PPV rundown. Tazz says Eddie vs. Benoit has five stars written all over it.

Edge/Kurt Angle vs. Big Show/A-Train

Good thing the production team had a new song with a train whistle ready in case someone changed their name. Edge and Big Show start things off as Cole goes over Angle and Edge’s history together. A chop staggers the Canadian so it’s off to Angle, who gets A-Train. One heck of a shoulder drops Kurt and it’s back to Edge, who unloads on A-Train in the corner.

A-Train throws Edge hard into the corner and it’s time for Heyman to start the trash talk. For reasons of general large headedness, A-Train takes his sweet time getting around to Edge’s bad knee before handing it off to Big Show for some knee work of his own. The slow beating begins with Show laying on the leg.

After more lifeless offense from the giants, Edge gets in a tornado DDT to stun A-Train and the hot tag brings in Angle. A German suplex actually sends A-Train flying as everything breaks down. Edge spears A-Train down instead of Big Show but the big bald pops up and chairs Edge in the back. The Angle Slam drops both monsters but a Heyman distraction lets Show chokeslam Kurt for the pin.

Rating: D+. They did what they could here but with Edge on a bad wheel and Big Show/A-Train as the heel team, you’re only going to get so far. The match wasn’t bad but this better lead to Angle winning the title on Sunday as it’s clear Show can only do the bare basics at this point. A-Train was trying but calling him limited would be an understatement.

Overall Rating: C-. You know what this felt like? An early 2017 episode of NXT. You know there’s talent there and the people behind the scenes know what they’re doing but there’s only so much you can do when you’re this limited. We’ve done the Smackdown Six matches so many times and since Lesnar is suspended, you have to come up with something fresh.

That means you’re pretty much stuck with short matches to build up new talent without exposing how bad they really are. This show wasn’t the worst but it’s clear that they’re trying something new, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world. They need more time and better talent but things could be rough for the time being.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: December 5, 2002
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re getting close to the end of the year and thankfully there are no turkeys involved this week. However there’s still Big Show, who can indeed be put in the F5 and chokeslams people through tables. Hopefully we get to see some more of the young guys being pushed, which would do Smackdown a lot of good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video points out that Stephanie McMahon is in charge and you better understand that. She suspended Brock Lesnar last week but he screwed himself you see.

Opening sequence.

Albert vs. Rey Mysterio

Albert has been stuck on Velocity lately and is ready to turn some heads. Fair enough, but will those heads be 8 3/8 inches? Mysterio kicks at the leg to start but gets caught in a good looking sitout gorilla press slam. Back up and Albert charges into a boot, followed by a springboard bulldog for two. The 619 connects but the West Coast Pop is countered into an over the shoulder backbreaker to give Albert the huge upset. Well…..I know they need new stars but ALBERT? They couldn’t have Benoit or Angle do this and then move on to face Lesnar? They use Albert for it instead? Uh…..yeah.

Post match Alberto beats Rey’s knee with chair, likely writing him off TV to repair an injury, until Edge makes a save.

Bill DeMott rants about being interviewed by Funaki, who can barely speak English.

Edge yells at the medics for not taking care of Mysterio fast enough.

Here’s Stephanie to brag about throwing herself at Scott Steiner in the name of getting him to sign with Smackdown. It’s worked though as Steiner will be here next week to sign. As for tonight, Lesnar is still suspended but he’ll get to appear via satellite to give his side of the story. At least Stephanie is now a heel and supposed to be obnoxious and mean.

Jamie Noble vs. Crash

Nidia jumps in on commentary as Jamie takes Crash down for an early two. Noble works him over in the corner and Nidia doesn’t want to talk about Jamie’s cousin Nunzio. Crash comes back with a clothesline and Bodog but stops to kiss Nidia. The distraction lets Jamie load up the Tiger Bomb, only to be reversed into the Crash Landing (Styles Clash) for the pin. Now that’s how you make a losing streak stick: a clean loss to a low level contender.

Jamie says Nunzio gets here next week.

Chris Benoit gives one heck of an interview about how his whole life has been about becoming World Champion but the broken neck held him back. This is edited off the Network, which is understandable, though annoying if you really want everything.

Dawn Marie comes up to Torrie and gets straight to the point: she wants Torrie instead of her dad. If she comes to Dawn’s hotel room tonight, the wedding is over. Torrie looks disturbed and says no way. Dawn asks how much Torrie loves her father and the wheels seem to be turning. This would have worked better if the acting was a bit higher and if it came off as sexy rather than stalkerish.

One thing here: what exactly is hurt by Al marrying Dawn? He’ll be with someone WAY out of his league and seems to be happy. Is she going to take what is likely very limited money? Or just leave him? Or is it just to torment Torrie into sleeping with her? I really don’t see how Al is hurt in this whole thing, assuming Dawn doesn’t try to swindle him somehow.

Funaki vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott has Marc Mero’s music. Funaki gets taken down and stomped a lot as the announcers recap how horrible DeMott’s career has been. Choking with some screaming has Funaki in trouble, followed by a powerslam and the moonsault for the pin. Just a squash with DeMott basically having the same character and motivation as Albert.

Los Guerreros are ready to win their matches tonight and make Grandma Guerrero proud. That should be everyone’s mission in life really.

We get the Lesnar sitdown interview and he got what he deserved for working with Paul Heyman. He heard Stephanie say that Lesnar screwed himself…..and here are Heyman and Big Show to interrupt. Heyman compares Lesnar to a child that needed a spanking and who better than Big Show to administer one? The two of them screwed Lesnar and loved it. If they could go back in time to the week before Survivor Series, they would do it all over again. After some plugs of tonight’s four way #1 contenders match, Lesnar promises to be at Armageddon.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero

Kidman is defending. A fan in the crowd has a sign saying the Guerreros will mow your lawn for a green card. As stupid as that is, Cole tops it by saying “Brock Lesnar has said he’ll be at Armageddon in person, whatever that means.” Kidman grabs a hurricanrana to start but gets caught in a gutbuster to give Chavo the real early control. Some shots to the kidneys set up an abdominal stretch but a Gory Bomb is countered into a rollup.

Kidman’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two and the BK Bomb is good for the same. They head up top at the same time for the big crash out to the floor and we have a bit of a breather. Back in and Kidman misses the Shooting Star, setting up the Gory Bomb to give Chavo two. Kidman comes right back with something like a reverse implant DDT, followed by the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: C+. The rib work didn’t go anywhere but it was nice to see Kidman getting some time instead of being thrown out there for three minutes before finishing with his one big move. Kidman can be a fine champion and a good choice for someone to take the title from later on so this is the right way to build him up.

Edge wants to become #1 contender but wants to get his hands on Albert too. He’s not entirely focused you see. Edge charges across the backstage and goes after Albert until referees break it up.

And now, a hip hop challenge between John Cena and Rikishi. They both rap and Rikishi wins the fan vote. An attack ensues but Rikishi and Tazz (hosting) easily fight off Cena and B Two. Dancing ensues and I have no idea how this helps anyone other than Rikishi.

Angle is ready for the main event.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Elimination rules and the winner gets Big Show at Armageddon. Before we’re ready to go though, Albert jumps Edge and takes out his knee. After everyone else is ready to go, Edge slowly limps down to the ring to have all four in the ring at once. The match is joined in progress after a break with Edge backdropping and flapjacking anyone he sees (save for the referee, commentators and fans of course) until Benoit and Angle start going after the leg.

Angle and Eddie head outside, leaving Benoit to stay on the bad knee. The half nelson faceplant gives Edge a breather but Eddie throws both of them outside. Eddie misses the frog splash and gets hit by the Swan Dive for two. The Edgecution gets two on Benoit, who pops up and Crossfaces Eddie for the elimination.

Angle is right there with the rolling German suplexes on Benoit but Edge comes back with the missile dropkick on Kurt. The knee is banged up again though and it’s Angle on his feet first. The Angle Slam is countered into an Edge-O-Matic but Benoit breaks it up with a Crossface on Edge which is broken up by an ankle lock. We get a ref bump so here’s Eddie with a belt shot to Benoit. Edge adds a spear to get rid of Chris and we’re down to two.

Kurt is right back up with the ankle lock though and Edge somehow lasts the better part of a minute. They both fall to the floor in a crash and we take a break. Back with Angle clotheslining a bloody Edge, who hammers away with right hands in the corner. That just earns him an overhead belly to belly as Angle turns it up one more notch. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Edge comes back with his own belly to belly.

Another Edge-O-Matic gets two as the announcers are selling the heck out of that bad knee. Angle rolls some more German suplexes but Edge, with his thong sticking out, gets a spear for two more. The Edgecution gets another near fall as the fans are losing their minds on these kickouts.

Edge actually blocks the corner running superplex and hits another missile dropkick. The Angle Slam gets two and the kickout only makes Kurt more angry. Edge rolls through the ankle lock for a hot two and it’s right back to the ankle lock. A rope is finally grabbed and Edge hits his own Angle Slam for two more. He takes too long getting up top though and the running Angle Slam FINALLY puts Edge away to give Angle the title shot.

Rating: A. I remember watching this match when it aired live and thinking it was amazing. While I remember it differently (I would have sworn that Edge came out halfway through the match and that the first two eliminations took the better part of fifteen minutes), it’s still an outstanding back and forth battle with the last seven or eight minutes being incredible. Angle and Edge were trading bomb after bomb with Edge finally getting caught at the end. Edge looked like a star here and….is going to be facing Albert at the pay per view. But that’s for another time as this was a great match and well worth checking out.

Big Show is IMMEDIATELY there to chokeslam Angle and stand tall.

We cut to Torrie going into Dawn’s hotel room. Dawn is waiting on her wearing a robe and sipping a glass of wine. Torrie looks very uncomfortable as Dawn tucks back her hair and says how much Torrie must love her father. If Torrie does everything Dawn wants, the wedding is off. Torrie goes to leave but Dawn says that means Torrie doesn’t love her father. That’s enough to get Torrie to stay and we’re out. I was rather intrigued by this when I was younger for obvious reasons but now…..egads. The fact that you know nothing is going to make TV and the payoff is Dawn vs. Torrie tells you everything you need to know.

Overall Rating: B-. The main event more than carries the week but we’re looking down the barrel of Albert, Rikishi, Bill DeMott and Big Show as some of the top stars of this show. I’m not sure why they would go that route when they have Edge, Benoit and Los Guerreros sitting there but WWE never was one to go with what people seemed interested in seeing. Above all else though, this show toned the Stephanie stuff down by a few thousand notches and it was much easier watch as a result. Good show this week but the future is looking scary.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2002
Location: Carolina Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Ernest Miller

It’s time for a special Thanksgiving show with guest star Scott Steiner. I’m not sure how wrestling is supposed to have guest stars but in theory it’s because Steiner isn’t on the Smackdown roster. I mean, he’s not on the Raw roster and wasn’t guest starring there but continuity isn’t WWE’s strong suit. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar from last week, which somehow focuses on Stephanie McMahon. WWE could produce a documentary on the tag team scene in the Nebraska territory back in the 1940s and somehow she would be there to comment on it.

Opening sequence, still prominently featuring the Rock, who hasn’t been here in…..six months?

Speaking of the devil in a sweater, here’s Stephanie to open things up. She’s not sure if she should suspend Brock Lesnar and actually says she doesn’t speak to hear herself talk. That must be her attempts at comedy. See, she’s multi-talented. We know she can dance so maybe we’ll get a song later on.

We do get Lesnar’s song as he comes out to get in Stephanie’s face because he should be here while she talks about his career. Stephanie bails to the ramp and has security escort Brock out. Lesnar is officially suspended indefinitely and Stephanie orders him out of her arena. So was that a heel turn? Not that it matters as Stephanie plays a villain on TV, as per her Twitter page.

Post break, here’s Stephanie’s announcement again. Not that she likes hearing herself talk of course.

Lesnar is escorted out and drives away.

Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. John Cena/Matt Hardy

Matt has been to Plymouth Rock and thinks Thanksgiving is boring. Cena now has B Squared with him and the announcers make Vanilla Ice jokes. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Cena down to start and Edge adds a flapjack to make things even better. A missed charge gives Cena two though and it’s time to stomp away. The Side Effect gives Matt two and we hit the cravate. B Squared: “COME ON DAWG!”

Edge fights back and hits a middle rope dropkick on Cena and it’s Rey time. Things speed way up with the springboard seated senton to Matt and a drop toehold to send Matt’s head between Cena’s legs. Sounds like something Stephanie would find funny. Matt takes the 619 and Edge dives onto the rap duo. Rey tries a hurricanrana but Matt powerbombs him down and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C. Is there a reason Hardy was in this and not just Cena and Buchanan? I like the idea of making a new team and having two guys who have been working hard in the last few weeks get a win is always a good thing. Edge and Mysterio are a made team for the moment, though I’m not sure how much longer they’re actually going to be together. Not a bad little match.

Kurt Angle asks Stephanie if she’s ok. So she’s funny, a song and dance woman, bossy and in need of attention? Anyway she doesn’t like this town and thinks they should love her for bringing them Scott Steiner. Angle brings up his Tag Team Title match tonight when he teams with Chris Benoit. Stephanie asks if everything has to be about him and then brings up her monthly issues (Aunt Flo is mentioned). Kurt doesn’t get it and, again, THIS WASN’T FUNNY.

Lesnar has been rumored to be seen coming back to the arena. He left in an SUV so Marc Lloyd goes up to a limo, thinking it’s Brock. It’s actually Steiner, who flexes instead of talking.

Tajiri vs. Chuck Palumbo

Uh…..sure. Tajiri kicks him in the head as Miller talks about his Aunt Flo visiting as well. Chuck’s right hand has no effect so Tajiri kicks him in the head again. A chinlock doesn’t get Tajiri very far and the handspring is countered into something like a belly to back suplex. Why has no one ever tried just stepping to the side and letting him crash? Palumbo gets smart and takes the knee out before grabbing a reverse Boston crab. Tajiri makes the rope and uses the mist, setting up the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: D. I always liked Palumbo and the reverse Boston crab could have been a decent finisher but you’re only going to get so far as Chuck Palumbo: guy in trunks. This was one heck of a random match but maybe there’s a big chuck of the roster gone due to the holiday. Nothing match but at least Tajiri won.

Stephanie fixes herself up for Steiner but gets the Fabulous Moolah again. The boss insults Columbia until Moolah, who Stephanie calls Lil, comes in. I guess this is like when she was BEST FRIENDS with Andre the Giant and she made sure to tell us about it. Why do I have a feeling she was front and center in anything they put out about Andre too? For reasons of something stupid later on, Stephanie puts Moolah in a match.

Lloyd asks a ticket scalper if he sold Lesnar a ticket but can’t get anywhere. This show is really, really stupid so far.

Matt stops Paul Heyman and Big Show and says he’s the reason Lesnar got suspended.

Torrie Wilson is dressed as an Indian for a fashion show when she runs into Kidman. She doesn’t know what a pilgrim fashion show is but will do whatever it takes to get closer to hurting Dawn Marie.

Miller emcees the fashion show in the role that would usually be filled by Tazz (off due to a family emergency). There’s a table of food behind him and I might as well hit fast forward already. Torrie is dressed as an Indian and Dawn is…..a stereotypical hot secretary who is supposed to look like a pilgrim because her outfit is black with white trim. A person in a turkey suit comes out and of course it’s Al Wilson. Al starts talking about how much he loves Thanksgiving so Cole literally screams for help. Wilson talks about “my little pookins” but Miller calls him a jive turkey.

Torrie takes off her coat to reveal a bikini and Dawn just dances. The catfight ensues and food goes into various faces. Torrie puts a pumpkin on Dawn’s head and we get a REALLY obvious fake Torrie chant. You know, it’s impressive but they’ve managed to make a feud involving gorgeous women in swimsuits/lingerie a nightmare to watch. I’m not sure who could possibly make that happen but it’s certainly not Stephanie.

Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

Eddie and Chavo are defending. Benoit starts with Chavo and elbows him into the corner as they seem to have a lot of time. The champs bail to the floor but Angle and Benoit argue instead of following up. Eddie comes back in to headlock Angle, who snaps off a powerslam. Benoit grabs a German suplex on Chavo but Angle doesn’t like him getting in the ring. With the argument ensuing, the champs walk up the ramp for the countout, only to have the referee say the match isn’t ending that way. How dare he take the match into his own hands like that. What a maverick.

Back from a break with Eddie putting Benoit in a seated abdominal stretch as the pace has slowed a lot. Benoit sends Chavo into his uncle and grabs a Crossface, only to have Eddie make a quick save. We hit the chinlock The fans want Angle as the champs hit a double suplex. Eddie’s slingshot hilo doesn’t quite work as Benoit throws him to the side and suplexes Chavo. Now it’s off to Angle for the suplexes, only to have Benoit tag himself back in for some rolling German suplexes of his own.

The Swan Dive only gets two but Eddie hits Angle low. The frog splash only hits mat and it’s back to back Angle Slams to drop the champs. Benoit Crossfaces Eddie but Angle breaks it up and puts on the ankle lock instead. Finally they compromise and put on a double submission, which is broken up by the overzealous referee. That means a ref bump, allowing Chavo to put Benoit down. Chavo’s frog splash gives Eddie two so he belts Benoit in the head for the pin to retain.

Rating: B+. This is still the go to match for Smackdown and that’s still a very good thing. Benoit and Angle bickering needs to go somewhere soon though as you can only have them fight so many times before it stops meaning anything. Eddie and Chavo stealing another win fits them so well, though I could go for something other than the belt shot for the pin.

Nidia is glad Jamie Noble didn’t call his cousin Nunzio when Scott Steiner comes up. Scott won’t shake his hands but will grab a good sized piece of Nidia’s, shall we say, hip area.

Post break Nidia and Noble are in the ring with Jamie calling out Steiner. A posedown ensues and Noble is subsequently destroyed. Steiner makes sure to get another grab of Nidia before saying he hasn’t decided on Raw or Smackdown.

It’s time for MORE STEPHANIE with Heyman coming in to say Show will defend against Lesnar tonight. Stephanie already has a title defense for Show tonight though, against someone of championship status. Normally that would interest me but tonight it means he’ll be facing Moolah because that would be the dumbest thing they could do.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Crash

Billy is defending but gets pulled to the floor to start for an elbow to the face. Back in and Kidman scores with the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker, only to have Crash roll through a high crossbody for two. Kidman’s headscissors is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always thought that could be a solid finisher) and a Bodog gets two. Not that it matters as Kidman pops back up with a quick BK Bomb. The shooting star retains the title.

Rating: C+. I liked the match but not so much on the booking. Crash looked better than he has in a long time, which really doesn’t do much for Kidman. This was your standard “let them do moves to each other for a few minutes because we don’t have time to let them have a longer match”, which isn’t exactly the most thrilling thing in the world. Good enough match but as usual, it doesn’t mean anything for either guy.

Big Show and Moolah (good thing she brought her gear) are coming to the ring because OF COURSE this is what they’re doing.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Fabulous Moolah

Moolah, challenging here (in case you’re REALLY slow) and hides in the corner to start. Heyman jumps on the apron and talks about how awesome Moolah is before saying Show sees her as Brock Lesnar. Moolah is grabbed by the throat but Lesnar comes through the crowd for the save. An F5 through the table knocks Show cold so Lesnar can go after Heyman. Actually never mind because STEPHANIE IS HERE AGAIN, this time with security to stop the suspended Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The tag match and Torrie in her costume alone save this thing as they were clearly putting it in the deep freeze due to the holiday. Big Show vs. Lesnar is a really weird feud as they’re still feuding but can’t actually have a match together due to whatever their reason is at the moment. Somehow that leaves us with Big Show vs. Moolah because that’s as good as it gets around here.

That leaves us with the major problem: WAY too much Stephanie. I have no idea who thinks we need to see this much of her, let alone hear about her various physical issues. How does that make me want to watch next week, buy a pay per view, or go to a show? This felt more like Stephanie vs. Brock which went to a draw at worst. Really weak show this week and just being Thanksgiving isn’t enough of an excuse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6