Main Event Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We’re back to the recap show with wrestling attached and odds are that means more Titus O’Neil. Now that one of the main players on this show is now #1 contender to the Smackdown World Title, maybe now O’Neil is ready to take his place. You can almost guess what’s going to be on this show so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Curtis Axel vs. Titus O’Neil
Axel gets thrown into the corner but comes right back out and unloads with right hands and forearms. That earns him a big chop to the chest for two and Titus grabs a chinlock. Curtis makes his comeback including a dropkick and the Hennig necksnap for two, only to get caught in a quick Clash of the Titus for the pin at 4:23.
Rating: D. This is the new reality people: Titus O’Neil is being treated as a star on this show. I really don’t know why they’re pushing this schnook when it’s pretty clear that we’ve reached the apex of his potential, which really wasn’t all that good in the first place. Axel continues to languish and that makes me rather sad as he had so much potential.
From Raw.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Miz starts talking about the Superstar Shakeup but gets cut off by Dean Ambrose, the scheduled guest, before he can get very far. Ambrose sucks up to the Ohio crowd before ripping on Miz’s gear. Miz doesn’t want to hear it because he’s done everything he can to make the people in that locker room look like superstars while Ambrose makes them look like regular wrestlers.
It doesn’t matter though because people love Ambrose, who was #1 pick in the Draft and was WWE Champion at Summerslam. Then Dean wasted all that momentum when he was on the Kickoff Show six months later. Ambrose doesn’t care what he looks like because he loves coming out here in front of twenty people or a hundred thousand.
That’s why he’s the Intercontinental Champion, which he beat Miz for in the first place. Maryse says the title doesn’t make the man so Dean asks her to hold the mic. As Miz goes on another rant, Dean empties his pockets and takes his jacket off before hammering Miz down. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work though and Miz and Maryse run.
Again with the Raw.
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James
Winner gets Bayley at Payback. Nia cleans house to start but Bliss bails to the floor, allowing Mickie and Sasha to dropkick Nia outside. Sasha gets the better of it and sends Mickie outside for a dive onto all three as we take a break. Back with Alexa in control until she charges into a slam from Nia.
Jax slams all three on top of each other before swinging Mickie around in a cobra clutch. It’s off to a bearhug on Banks with Nia easily suplexing her way out of Sasha’s guillotine counter. Mickie armbars her way out of a choke but Nia throws her at Sasha in the corner. Alexa goes up top to try a dropkick but thinks twice when Nia stares her down. A missed charge sends Nia into the post, allowing everyone else to hammer on each other.
The double knees in the corner get two on Bliss with Nia making the save. Mickie gets pulled outside as well and it’s down to Sasha vs. Alexa. James has to break up a Bank Statement but here’s Nia to knock Mickie off the top. The Samoan drop plants Banks but Bliss runs in for the 13:44.
Rating: C+. The time brings this one down a bit though it was a lot of fun until the end. Bliss winning, especially in her hometown, is a nice touch though they need to stop having Jax get THIS close, only to slip up after dominating everything in sight. It’s the right call though as Banks vs. Bayley is still going to be a major showdown one day in the future.
Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. Tony Nese/Ariya Daivari
Dorado climbs over Ariya to start and grabs a sunset flip for two before it’s off to both partners. Metalik does his rope walking into a top rope elbow for two of his own, only to get taken down and sent into the barricade. Back from a break with Metalik in trouble off a neck crank.
Metalik fights up and grabs a tornado DDT to set up the hot tag. Daivari cuts Dorado off with a spinebuster but eats a handspring Stunner. The masked ones get creative with stereo moonsaults to the floor, dropping Nese and Daivari in a big crash. Back in and Dorado is shoved off the top, setting up the hammerlock clothesline to give Daivari the pin at 10:11.
Rating: C. Pretty standard cruiserweight tag which is all you can expect around here. Some combination of about six cruiserweights are always filling in the second match on this show and that gets very tiring. At least the matches are usually entertaining, which is more than you can say for a lot of the Main Event stuff.
We look back at Braun Strowman’s amazing destruction of Roman Reigns, including the ambulance spot.
We wrap it up with the end of Strowman vs. Big Show with the ring imploding.
Overall Rating: C-. Very skippable show here as the Superstar Shakeup is just starting to take effect. As is the case 90% of the time, the Raw highlights mean far more than the wrestling, which really needs a shakeup of its own. A few weeks back we had New Day and then Big Cass on some shows. Would it really kill them to let a midcard act show up every week or two? It can’t be that hard. Anyway, pretty standard Main Event this week, which could mean different things for different viewers.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – November 21, 2002: The Big Stupid Coward
Smackdown Date: November 21, 2002
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re in the Big Show era now as he defeated Brock Lesnar to win the Smackdown World Title at Survivor Series. Hopefully this one doesn’t last too long as I’m not sure I can handle sitting through it. Unless Lesnar gets a rematch, it would make sense to have one of those tag guys get the next shot as they’ve been the hottest thing in the company for months. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s WWE career leading into his feud with Big Show. Paul Heyman is prominently featured, setting up his heel turn at the pay per view.
Lesnar is waiting for Big Show. What is with wrestlers always arriving late? It seems to happen every week.
Opening sequence.
Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble
Mysterio starts fast with the dropkicks and a headscissors for good measure. A trip to the floor seems to clear Jamie’s head as he sends Rey into the buckle and dropkicks him in the back of the mask. Rey keeps up the trend with a dropkick and a flapjack for two. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Rey has to go after an interfering Nidia.
Back in and Jamie throws Rey into the air, only to have Mysterio springboard right into the hurricanrana for the pin. I remember taping this show and thinking that was so cool I actually showed it to a friend. Jamie standing there waiting on Mysterio to bounce back and looking up so he can take the hurricanrana doesn’t help but it’s still cool enough.
Lesnar is still angrily waiting and goes into the locker room. For some reason Matt Hardy thinks it’s a good idea to give him some criticism. Maybe if Brock had a few more Mattributes, he wouldn’t have suffered such an unfortunate twist of fate. Matt is then thrown through a wall, leaving a hole so big that Crash Holly can be seen on the other side.
Post break, Stephanie comes to check on Matt. Eddie Guerrero tells her that Brock did it, which surprises Stephanie. So wait: not only is she not watching the show but she sees a grown man thrown through a wall and doesn’t ask WHAT HAPPENED HERE? Basically everyone is scared of Lesnar so Stephanie will take care of him. Eddie asks if Brock will listen to a woman, setting Stephanie up for exactly the response you would expect from her.
Noble doesn’t know what to do but decides to call his crazy cousin Nunzio. Nidia is very worried about this choice.
Stephanie says Lesnar can have a rematch when he’s healed up but he’s suspended if he attacks anyone else. Somehow this takes a minute and a half because of that weird way Stephanie speaks.
Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri
Maybe the winner gets Torrie. Kidman is defending and offers an early handshake, earning himself a hard kick to the head. More kicks get more two counts before Tajiri mixes it up with the Tarantula. Kidman seems to hurt his head on a hurricanrana so Tajiri makes it worse with another kick to the head. The announcers find ways to praise Stephanie as Kidman gets in a spinebuster, followed by the shooting star to retain.
Rating: C. My head is hurting from those kicks as Tajiri was blasting Kidman every time. That’s why I like Tajiri so much: he’s not going to shift from that one idea very often but he does that thing very well. He doesn’t try to do anything out of his wheelhouse and it still works. It’s like Rhyno, which is why they’ve both had such long careers.
Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero
Eddie is ejected before the bell, just in case Chavo thought he had any chance. Benoit starts fast by sending Chavo chest first into the corner but can only hit one German suplex. A gutbuster drops Benoit and his shoulder goes into the post as Chavo takes his pick of the body parts.
Not that it matters as Benoit SNAPS him down into a Crossface attempt but Chavo makes the ropes. Back in and Benoit rolls three straight German suplexes to set up the Swan Dive for two. Benoit is so annoyed that he allows Chavo to fire some shoulders into the ribs. Chavo tries a springboard clothesline but dives straight into the Crossface for the tap.
Rating: C+. This made perfect sense as Chavo tried everything he could but just wasn’t in Benoit’s league. Seeing Benoit grab the suplexes and the Crossface from pretty much wherever he wanted made him look awesome with the hold looking better than it has in a long time. Chavo tried here but was in over his head, which made for a good story.
Stephanie tells Lesnar to stay in the back while Heyman and Show go to the ring. If Lesnar goes to the ring, she’ll suspend him.
Here’s Heyman, coming out to Lesnar’s music and wearing the title, complete with the bounce on the stage. Cole: “I think Heyman is mocking Lesnar.” Heyman talks about having the it factor that separates you from the rest of the locker room, which applies to himself of course. He prepared Lesnar for everything he was going to do and is responsible for all of his successes.
Then the monster stopped listening to Dr. Frankenstein because it takes more than physical attributes to be on top of the mountain. He orchestrated the greatest inside job in sports entertainment history (How can anyone hear that wording and think it sounds good?) and look at the success he’s created.
Here’s Big Show, with Heyman kneeling down to hand him the title. Show thanks Lesnar for the opportunity and heaps praise on Heyman. Edge has a shot later tonight but there’s no way he’s losing the title just yet. Oh and one more thing: Lesnar is officially fired and there’s a no rematch clause in the contract. As they go to leave, here’s Lesnar with a chair to lay Show out. The worst part is Lesnar running right at him and Show turning around to run. So he’s big, stupid, and a coward. Sounds like your typical heel champion.
During the break, Stephanie yells at Lesnar some more because that’s what she gets to do.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle
During the entrances, Cole announces next week as “an all new Smackdown with special guest star Scott Steiner.” Just in case you thought it was a rerun with Milton Berle. Chavo is ejected as well so we can have consistent refereeing for once. An early headlock sends Eddie outside as thinks slow down.
Back in and Angle busts out a monkey flip of all things before a suplex puts Eddie outside again. Angle follows this time and gets sent back first into the steps as Eddie cheats to take over. Eddie does the old “grab two chairs so the stupid referee only sees one”, allowing him to smack Angle in the back with the other. A northern lights suplex gets two as the dumb fans chant USA. Thankfully Cole points out that Eddie is from Texas as we hit the camel clutch.
Angle gets a DDT for a breather and here’s Chavo to watch from the stage. We hit the rolling German suplexes until a low blow breaks Angle’s momentum. As I wonder how the referee didn’t see that, Chavo comes down and gets in a few stomps. Cue Benoit to just stare at Chavo, even as he goes down to stomp on Angle some more. They trade submission attempts until Angle throws him with a release German suplex. Chavo gets forearmed off the apron, leaving Angle to run the corner for a super Angle Slam and the pin.
Rating: B. Like these two aren’t going to have a really good match. The Benoit stuff adds a new layer to the story and you can feel the big Angle vs. Benoit feud building very nicely. Eddie and Chavo getting beaten up like this is fine as all they have to do is hold up the belts again and everything will be back to normal. Good match here, filling the quota for the week.
Angle gives Chavo the ankle lock post match as the champs are easily dispatched. Benoit offers Kurt some applause.
We look at Scott Steiner beating up Christopher Nowinski and Matt Hardy. Nowinski is one thing but Hardy’s role in that segment is just dumb.
Edge is ready for Big Show but Funaki thinks Show is like Godzilla. That makes Edge King Kong but he’s willing to fight for the title.
Another Raw moment: This is Your Life Rock. That’s still amazing.
John Cena vs. Rikishi
Actually hang on a second as Dawn Marie and Al Wilson come out to invite us to their wedding. The match is joined in progress with Cena hitting a belly to back suplex, followed by sitting on Rikishi’s chest. That earns him a toss to the floor and a Samoan Drop, followed by a belly to belly for the pin.
Post match Rikishi loads up the Rump Shaker but Bull Buchanan comes in to save Cena. I might be thinking about this too hard but it might have been better to have Cena WIN THE MATCH and then have Buchanan show up.
Show says he can’t wrestle tonight because of Lesnar’s attack. Heyman isn’t about to go anywhere with Lesnar around.
We recap Lesnar and Show’s night.
Heyman is in Stephanie’s office but can’t get Show out of the main event. If Lesnar gets involved, she’ll suspend him. Heyman: “Like you did before?” Lawsuits against Stephanie and company are threatened so she throws him out. In case you haven’t figured it out, this was the 14th or so segment tonight to show you that Stephanie RUNS SMACKDOWN. Let’s say it together shall we? Stephanie runs Smackdown. Now don’t you forget it or more lectures will ensue.
Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Edge
Edge is challenging and is thrown into the corner almost immediately. Show launches him with ease and stands on Edge’s head (not to be confused with the Edgeheads) as this is already in slow motion. An Edgecution attempt is countered as easily as you would expect it to be and Show posts edge to keep the pace. We hit the bearhug as Heyman tells Edge he’d be good representation.
A turnbuckle pad was removed somewhere in there and Edge sends him face first into the buckle, followed by a low blow for good measure. Edge gets two off a tornado DDT and three spears finally drop Show. Heyman breaks up the pin though, allowing Show to grab the chokeslam. We’re not done yet though as Heyman wants Show to treat Edge like he’s Lesnar. That means a second chokeslam but here’s Lesnar for an F5 before a third can connect. I guess the match was thrown out.
Rating: D+. Edge’s comeback was good but when you watch him tear the house down with everyone else, it’s really hard to sit through Big Show’s eight mile an hour offense. He’s the current monster champion and hopefully that means his days with the title are numbered. This really wasn’t interesting and I have no interest in watching him doing his “hey, I’m big” promos and bad matches while I know the roster is capable of so much more.
Lesnar chases Heyman through the crowd to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing terrible here and they kept the bad stuff short but there’s nothing that really offers a spark to make me want to keep watching. The tag stuff seems to be coming to an end and that leaves Rikishi, Big Show, Al/Dawn and whatever Los Guerreros are doing. Now the latter of that list is fine but the rest….egads the rest. The show was still fun but this didn’t really leave me optimistic.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Monday Night Raw – April 17, 2017: That Ambulance Died in Vain
Monday Night Raw Date: April 17, 2017
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.
Just in case we haven’t had enough going on of late, this is kind of a relaunch for Raw as we have a fresh roster at full strength for the first time. In addition to all the new names, the interesting question is will Roman Reigns be here. After Braun Strowman basically killed him last week, it should be interesting to see if he’ll be here tonight. If so, WWE is missing a major opportunity. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Strowman destroying Reigns last week, turning himself into the biggest unintentional face on the roster as a result.
Here’s Strowman to open things up. Strowman is proud of the beating he gave Roman last week, which saw Reigns have a separated shoulder and cracked ribs. Reigns will NOT be here tonight and that earns one heck of a YES chant. Strowman says he’s ready to tear through the locker room but here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to interrupt. The boss gets right to the point and makes Strowman vs. Reigns for Payback. As for tonight, Strowman has the night off but Braun wants more competition. That sounds like a threat.
Samoa Joe vs. Chris Jericho
Seth Rollins, who faces Joe at Payback, is on commentary. Joe goes right after Jericho to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Joe in control and hitting his chop to the shoulder blades. We hit the nerve hold for a bit, followed by the scoop powerslam for two. The crowd sounds rather energized tonight, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the lack of Reigns and Stephanie tonight.
Joe misses a middle rope backsplash (though his leg landed on the back of Jericho’s head), allowing Chris to grab the Walls. That doesn’t last long though as Jericho escapes and grabs the Koquina Clutch. Jericho tries the Bret Hart/Roddy Piper counter but Joe turns over and keeps the hold for the tap out at 9:08.
Rating: C+. They’re making Joe out to be a killer and that’s a great sign for his future. The fact that he just beat Jericho clean by submission shows that there’s something to him and WWE knows it. I’d love to see Joe vs. Lesnar way down the line and they’ve built him as the kind of guy who could give him a run for his money.
Post match Joe says he remembers the night he debuts and the noise the fans made. Joe worked for HHH and since he cares about his clients, he’ll take care of Seth at Payback. Seth says of course it was personal and Joe is going to learn that Payback is a b****.
Anderson and Gallows are on the way to the ring when they pass by the Drifter playing his guitar. They’ll be facing Golden Truth tonight but Strowman runs Golden Truth over and beats the heck out of them.
Strowman won’t leave.
Anderson and Gallows are in the ring with Anderson saying Golden Truth just got the United Airlines treatment. They came here for a fight so get someone out here.
Anderson and Gallows vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
After Enzo calls this the realest night of the week, Cass hammers on Anderson with a right hand to the ribs putting Karl down. Cass keeps things up by throwing Enzo at both bald guys as we take a break. Back with Enzo in trouble (some things never change), including a DDT on the arm and an armbar from Gallows. A spinebuster makes things even worse but Enzo comes off the middle rope with the jumping DDT.
Cass comes in and cleans house with the usual, including a big boot to knock Gallows outside. It takes Cass outside as well though, leaving Enzo to try another jumping DDT. Anderson is ready this time though and catches him in midair before throwing him knees first at the top rope. That’s some rather unique offense but it’s enough to put Enzo away at 10:48.
Rating: C-. Well Anderson and Gallows certainly needed the win, especially with Wilder (and presumably the Revival as a whole) on the shelf for a few months. The match was good enough though that ending was a big odd. You would expect Anderson to use that as a setup for the finish but it got the pin so it doesn’t make a huge difference.
Video on Mickie James.
Video on Nia Jax.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Miz starts talking about the Superstar Shakeup but gets cut off by Dean Ambrose, the scheduled guest, before he can get very far. Ambrose sucks up to the Ohio crowd before ripping on Miz’s gear. Miz doesn’t want to hear it because he’s done everything he can to make the people in that locker room look like superstars while Ambrose makes them look like regular wrestlers.
It doesn’t matter though because people love Ambrose, who was #1 pick in the Draft and was WWE Champion at Summerslam. Then Dean wasted all that momentum when he was on the Kickoff Show six months later. Ambrose doesn’t care what he looks like because he loves coming out here in front of twenty people or a hundred thousand.
That’s why he’s the Intercontinental Champion, which he beat Miz for in the first place. Maryse says the title doesn’t make the man so Dean asks her to hold the mic. As Miz goes on another rant, Dean empties his pockets and takes his jacket off before hammering Miz down. Dirty Deeds doesn’t work though and Miz and Maryse run.
Strowman drags Kalisto through the back and throws him in a trashcan. Big Show runs Strowman over and says pick on someone your own size.
TJ Perkins vs. Jack Gallagher
Neville comes out to watch in what is billed as a special appearance. This brings out Austin Aries for “an even more special appearance”. They trade wristlocks to start with Gallagher taking him to the mat and cranking on both arms at the same time. Perkins does a bit of dabbing but can’t handle the fact that Gallagher pops up. William III is sent to the floor to Gallagher’s dismay but he misses a charge to the floor for a heck of a crash.
Back from a break with Gallagher flipping out of a suplex and grabbing a t-bone suplex of his own. The headbutt sends Perkins outside but it allows Jack to reclaim his trusty umbrella. That means the Mary Poppins dive but Perkins throws Gallagher into Aries. Austin is about to go inside, only to have Neville break it up. The distraction lets TJ kick the rope into Gallagher, setting up the Detonation Kick for the pin at 9:56.
Rating: C+. This is what 205 Live had needed to do for months now: build up some other stop stars aside from just the champion and his #1 contender. Odds are this sets up a tag match, which should be rather entertaining if it’s given enough time to go somewhere. I liked this match more than I was expecting to and I’m glad they’re giving Perkins more of a push.
Titus O’Neil congratulates Apollo Crews on his impending fatherhood but Titus wants to know how Apollo is going to make an impact. The best idea Titus has is joining the Titus Brand. Maybe Crews could get into travel with the Apollo Cruise where they’ll dance to Apollo Blues. If that goes badly, they can go to the new law firm: Apollo Sues. Titus gives him a card but Crews doesn’t seem convinced.
The Hardys are glad to be back and look forward to working with the new talent. Sheamus and Cesaro come up to talk about how much they respect the Hardys but it’ll be an honor to win the titles from such legends.
Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James
Winner gets Bayley at Payback. Nia cleans house to start but Bliss bails to the floor, allowing Mickie and Sasha to dropkick Nia outside. Sasha gets the better of it and sends Mickie outside for a dive onto all three as we take a break. Back with Alexa in control until she charges into a slam from Nia.
Jax slams all three on top of each other before swinging Mickie around in a cobra clutch. It’s off to a bearhug on Banks with Nia easily suplexing her way out of Sasha’s guillotine counter. Mickie armbars her way out of a choke but Nia throws her at Sasha in the corner. Alexa goes up top to try a dropkick but thinks twice when Nia stares her down. A missed charge sends Nia into the post, allowing everyone else to hammer on each other.
The double knees in the corner get two on Bliss with Nia making the save. Mickie gets pulled outside as well and it’s down to Sasha vs. Alexa. James has to break up a Bank Statement but here’s Nia to knock Mickie off the top. The Samoan drop plants Banks but Bliss runs in for the 13:44.
Rating: C+. The time brings this one down a bit though it was a lot of fun until the end. Bliss winning, especially in her hometown, is a nice touch though they need to stop having Jax get THIS close, only to slip up after dominating everything in sight. It’s the right call though as Banks vs. Bayley is still going to be a major showdown one day in the future.
Show says he’ll beat up Strowman.
Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins
Coup de Grace finishes Hawkins in 36 seconds. Balor isn’t even sweating.
Chris Jericho can’t stop thinking about his rematch with Kevin Owens and thinks America deserves a better face. If he wins the title back he heads to Smackdown, but it doesn’t matter if it’s Smackdown, Velocity, Sunday Night Heat or Nitro: the Friends of Jericho will follow him anywhere. Chris: “You hear them Tom?” Mike Rome: “It’s Mike, Chris.” We get the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck routine as Mike forgets his own name. Chris: “You know what happens when you don’t know your own name?” Elias Samson wanders up and plays his guitar so Jericho lets Mike/Tom off the list and puts Samson on instead.
Bray Wyatt asks what we’re afraid of. Maybe the unknown? The dark? Or the monster underneath our bed. Fear lives in his house and we hear about how much Bray wants to hear Randy Orton scream. I love Bray but these things are getting really tiresome as there’s no reason to believe he has a chance of winning and he’ll just keep plugging along like the loss means nothing.
Alicia Fox and Dana Brooke are watching clips from 205 Live when Emma comes up to say Dana was laughing at Alicia getting powder thrown in her face all week long. Fox doesn’t want to be Dana’s friend anymore. Dana calls Emma out for lying but Emma says that’s what she gets for standing on her own two feet.
Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro
Cesaro takes him down to start but gets sent to the floor for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff seems to be banged up on the floor and gets caught with the running uppercut. Back from a break with Cesaro getting two and having his chinlock broken in a hurry. Jeff’s knee seems to be fine but Cesaro nails him with the springboard corkscrew elbow for two.
Jeff fights up and gets the same off the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the Twisting Stunner, which isn’t the Twist of Fate but you can’t expect the announcers to be able to really call the moves properly. I mean, it might run them afoul of JBL and that just sounds scary. Anyway, the Swanton is good for the pin at 13:01.
Rating: C. They billed this as a dream match which is quite the stretch, though I do appreciate WWE treating Jeff like a legend. I know it’s been nearly ten years but Jeff is a former three time World Champion. You have to treat someone like that as something special and it’s a good sign that WWE is doing just that.
Golden Truth and Kalisto are injured but here are Heath Slater and Rhyno, the latter of whom is eating cheese whiz and crackers. Slater is VERY excited about being back on Raw but they both hide when Strowman comes by. Rhyno even dropped his crackers!
Big Show vs. Braun Strowman
The brawl starts in the aisle with Strowman tossing him into the barricade. Show sends him into it as well and we actually start the match. A baseball slide of all things puts Strowman on the floor but he comes back with a running dropkick of his own. Strowman gets in a suplex and drops an elbow as they’re moving in very slow motion here.
Show escapes the powerslam and hits a splash in the corner. The chokeslam gets two and Strowman’s powerslam is good for the same. Braun gets crotched on top but knocks Show away, only to dive into the KO Punch for two. With nothing else working, Show goes up top but gets superplexed down……and they break the ring for the no contest 12:36.
Rating: D. Nope. I know the ring breaking spot is going to get a lot of attention but this COMPLETELY missed the point of the match and did nothing to push Strowman. You know who looked good here? Show, who hung move for move with a guy who TURNED OVER AN AMBULANCE LAST WEEK.
We’ve already established that Strowman, who didn’t even win here, can beat Show and be the bigger monster but that wasn’t even shown here. No, what we saw was Big Show getting to prove that he’s on equal footing with Strowman, which doesn’t make Strowman look unique. That makes Strowman look like he has an equal, which completely misses the point.
Strowman gets up and poses, which I guess is WWE’s version of a follow up, to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was a bit of a rough one as they certainly did a lot of stuff but the Strowman stuff felt really bad. Beating up Kalisto and Golden Truth and then going to a draw with Big Show doesn’t exactly make me think he can beat Reigns or Brock Lesnar (the guy that regularly destroys Show).
The wrestling wasn’t great but the show definitely felt like it was moving around at a faster pace, which is an upgrade over some weeks. There’s good stuff to be seen here, but Payback is really holding things up. You have one of the new Raw guys being stuck waiting to face the Smackdown Champion in a match he has almost no chance of winning and Jericho teasing going to Smackdown while losing to Joe.
There’s enough stuff on here to make me look forward to the pay per view but I’m not wild on some of the directions. Strowman’s booking made my head hurt and Hardy vs. Cesaro wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I like Bliss getting the title shot and Joe being treated like a monster. Overall though, Strowman was the focus here and that REALLY bombed, but at least Big Show looks like an equal to the unstoppable monster.
Results
Samoa Joe b. Chris Jericho – Koquina Clutch
Anderson and Gallows b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Anderson threw Amore knees first into the corner
TJ Perkins b. Jack Gallagher – Devastation Kick
Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax, Mickie James and Sasha Banks – Samoan Drop to James
Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace Jeff Hardy b. Cesaro – Swanton Bomb
Big Show vs. Braun Strowman went to a no contest when the ring broke
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: November 14, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and that means it’s time for more Big Show. One of the big stories coming out of this week came on Super Tuesday when Stephanie McMahon announced that the Smackdown Tag Team Titles will be decided in a triple threat match, which should be an amazing spectacle. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar with Show dominating for weeks and Paul Heyman being at his wits’ end.
Heyman says Lesnar has a broken rib and is off the show by doctors’ orders. Big Show pops up and says he’ll call Lesnar out anyway. It’s nice to see someone knowing the cliches and ignoring them.
Opening sequence.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Edge
Both guys are on their own and Sunday’s triple threat is officially an elimination match. Edge armdrags him into an armbar before elbowing Chavo in the face. Chavo sidesteps a charge to put Edge on the apron but gets flapjacked for his efforts. A kick to the ropes hits Edge low though and Chavo takes over for real this time. We hit an armbar on the Canadian until Chavo goes up top, only to get dropkicked out of the air. The Edge-O-Matic gets two but Edge spears the buckle, allowing Chavo to get in a spear of his own for two. Not that it matters as the tornado DDT is countered into the Edgecution for the pin.
Rating: B-. I’m not surprised that this was good as Chavo really was a solid hand in the ring. He gets a bad reputation for his horribly dull stuff later in his career but when you just let him work a good match, he’s a rather entertaining watch. Nice match here and a really strong opener.
Rey Mysterio is talking about the match when he runs over to see the arriving Brock, sounding like a ten year old fan. Brock basically tells him to buzz off.
Dawn Marie comes up to see Al Wilson and is ready to invite Torrie to the wedding. Al isn’t sure but she talks him into it. As enjoyable of a visual as it is, I do like the fact that we’re supposed to believe Dawn (and Torrie for that matter) walk around on the streets in the outfits they were on the show. Dawn was just casually strolling around in a top that showed off half her chest and went all the way down to her waist. Totally normal travel gear right?
Heyman wants to know why Lesnar is here and Brock says it’s because that’s what the title is all about. Paul goes on a rant about the injuries Lesnar has suffered and how it’s going to go badly if Lesnar stops doing what the team should do. If Lesnar doesn’t leave now, there’s nothing Heyman can do to protect Brock from Big Show. Paul has an idea though. I’ll give them credit for this: they’re making Big Show sound like a threat. You know, assuming you forget that he’s Big Show.
Matt Hardy/John Cena vs. Rikishi/Tajiri
What a completely different team that first one would be today. Matt was the Fear Factor Champion and loves guacamole. Cole describes Cena as being “lost in the 80s”. Like that’s a bad thing. Tajiri and Matt start things off with a quick hurricanrana sending the Fear Factor Champion down.
It’s off to Rikishi to take care of both Matt and Cena until a Side Effect gives Cena two. Matt hammers away in the corner as the fans want Jeff. Rikishi drives Cena over to the corner for the hot tag to Tajiri and things speed up. Tajiri gets a running start and grabs a running faceplant which sends both guys into the mat (picture fighting over a vertical suplex but both guys jump up and swing around, landing face first). Matt’s hand is on Tajiri’s chest for the pin.
Rating: D+. I have no idea what they were going for with that ending. First of all, a faceplant for the ending? I’m glad Matt and Cena got the win but it felt like a fluke (with the announcers talking about how Matt’s hand just happened to land on Tajiri’s chest) and I really don’t get this one. Oh and make sure Tajiri loses and not Rikishi because he’s the star power.
Hardy makes Cena put him on his shoulders to celebrate.
Angle and Benoit yell over the title loss last week. Benoit brings up winning their last two singles matches. Angle: “YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG MAN!” Benoit: “I have more hair than you!” This goes back and forth until Angle mentioned that he’s an Olympic gold medalist.
Scott Steiner video. Can he debut already so I can endlessly mock him?
Heyman asks Big Show to not call Lesnar out tonight but doesn’t get an answer. I’d like an answer as to why Show has his own locker room and there are at least ten large suitcases visible. Does he carry his snacks in there?
Los Guerreros run into Edge and Rey Mysterio. Eddie wants a match with Rey later and promises to win the titles on Sunday. Spanish is spoken and Eddie hides behind Chavo, only to have Edge speak some Spanish and tell them to shut up.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio
Partners are banned from ringside. Eddie takes him down into a headlock to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Rey though and Eddie takes over for real. The arm work continues until Rey monkey flips him into the ropes. It’s already 619 time but Eddie pulls the referee in the way, knocking him nearly unconscious.
Chavo runs out for a Gory Bomb on Rey, allowing Eddie to add a powerbomb. Edge comes out to spear Eddie, drawing out the rest of the referees to drag them off. We take a break and come back with Rey hitting the Bronco Buster but getting tossed off the ropes. Eddie follows him out with a dive but takes too much time going up again, allowing Rey to grab a superplex.
A hard knee to Mysterio’s ribs sets up another armbar until Eddie lets him up for no logical reason. Rey springboards into an armdrag to send Eddie outside, followed by a slingshot hilo. Back in and Rey scores with the 619 but the West Coast Pop is reversed into the Lasso From El Paso (with something edited out). Eddie makes sure to grab the ropes, forcing Rey to tap.
Rating: B. I wouldn’t really consider that to be the biggest surprise. These two are capable of having good matches in their sleep and this was no exception, though Eddie working on the arm for a good chunk of the match didn’t make a lot of sense. Also, it was nice to have them do all the run-ins early on and then have a long stretch of the match follow them up. Good match here, as expected.
Torrie can’t talk to her dad but he follows her anyway. Eventually she says Dawn is just using him. Al just wanted to invite her to the wedding but she won’t go. She calls her dad an old fool.
Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble
Non-title. Jamie goes straight after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes. A keylock doesn’t get Noble very far either so Kidman gets in a dropkick for two. The tiger bomb gives Noble two but Kidman reverses the cover into a rollup for two more. Kidman flips over him out of the corner and gets in the BK Bomb for no cover. That looks to set up the shooting star press but Nidia offers a distraction. Jamie pops back up and tries a superplex, only to have Kidman tie the legs up for a small package and the pin.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it set up Sunday’s match, thankfully without having Kidman hit his finisher. Instead he won off a quick pin, making it look like he can beat Noble without completely destroying him. As little as I don’t like having the champ lose, it’s about all they could do in the three and a half minutes they had out there.
Dawn consoles Al, who she loves. He puts his head on her shoulder and she gives a bit of an evil smile. This is the THIRD SEGMENT this story has gotten.
Heyman tells Lesnar about going to see Big Show. Lesnar isn’t happy and says he’s going to call Show out this time.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
Before the match, Angle laughs off the idea of either other team being a challenge to him. He’s a better athlete than Benoit, is better looking than Edge and has actually grown, unlike Mysterio. Cue Los Guerreros and the champs to watch from ringside. Angle starts fast by snapping off the suplexes but Benoit comes back by just hitting him in the face. A backbreaker gives Benoit two before Angle sends him outside, leading to a whip into the champs.
Back in and Kurt rolls the German suplexes for two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. That’s reversed into the ankle lock until Benoit rolls out, only to get caught in the Slam. Kurt grabs the Lasso From El Paso, drawing Eddie into the ring. It doesn’t last long as he’s launched out to the floor, triggering a brawl between Los Guerreros and the champs. Everyone comes in and that’s a no contest.
Rating: B-. The time killed it but much like Mysterio vs. Guerrero, these two are almost a guaranteed awesome match. They’re building the heck out of the triple threat tag, which is pretty easily bigger than Lesnar vs. Big Show, at least in the amount of hype it has. Let those six guys tear the house down and the extra build here helped.
Edge and Mysterio clean house and put Kurt in a double ankle lock. Eddie and Chavo make the save so it’s an ankle lock to Eddie and a Crossface to Edge. Benoit and Angle shake hands but Kurt hugs him instead, giving us a hilarious look from Benoit when it goes too long.
Lesnar yells at Heyman for telling him to stay out of the ring.
We run down Sunday’s card.
Here are Lesnar and Heyman with Brock calling out Big Show. Heyman tries to take the mic away and is told to shut up. Show finally comes out and Lesnar spears him into the steps, puncturing Show’s forearm with the blood flowing out like a fountain. Two big chair shots to the head bust open Show’s head and the chair is bent over his back. I remember watching this live and thinking it was the first time I thought Lesnar was awesome. If this was meant to be his full face turn, it worked quite well.
Overall Rating: B+. Survivor Series is certainly going to be interesting at this rate. The Tag Team Title match looks great on paper, Show vs. Lesnar could be good if Brock gets to be the Beast, the Elimination Chamber……well I think we all know where that’s going. This was the big hard sell show and it did make me want to watch the pay per view again, though it certainly seems to be walking a tightrope, which almost never works. Still though, three quite good matches and some other passable stuff sprinkled in (save for the Dawn/Torrie stuff which won’t end) makes this another high quality Smackdown.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – November 7, 2002: Look at Hour One. Look at Hour Two!
Smackdown Date: November 7, 2002
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re closing in on Survivor Series and that means Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show for reasons I don’t even want to comprehend. It’s not like we have a small army of amazing technical wrestlers who could have a great match with the former NCAA Champion wrestler running around. No the clear solution here is Big Show. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Big Show vs. Lesnar, which still isn’t anything interesting. Brock got beaten up, just as Paul Heyman seemed to think would be the case.
Opening sequence.
Later tonight: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle in a 2/3 falls match. I think we have a selling point.
Billy Kidman/Torrie Wilson vs. Jamie Noble/Nidia
The guys get things going with Noble taking over on the arm. A pumphandle suplex gets two but Nidia tags herself in, much to Noble’s chagrin. That means Torrie has to come in for a clothesline but she gets slammed for a near fall. Torrie takes her down out of the corner but stops to slap Noble, who responds with a clothesline. That certainly gets him booed but it doesn’t do much damage to Torrie, who gets the tag off to Kidman almost immediately. Everything breaks down with the heels being sent into each other, leaving Kidman to Bodog Noble. The Shooting Star is enough to give Kidman the pin.
Rating: C. I’m assuming this was done to set up Kidman going after the Cruiserweight Title, likely at Survivor Series, assuming anyone remembers that Noble actually has the title in the first place. That thing has been the least important championship in the company for a long time now with even the Raw Tag Team Titles having a higher value. Torrie and Nidia were just there, though it’s better than Kidman pinning Noble in a regular singles match.
Big Show is looking for Lesnar and wants a security guard to tell Lesnar that he’s here.
Torrie runs into her dad, who talks about how lonely he’s been. Tonight he’s going to do something for himself and he hopes she understands. Do these two never talk on the phone or outside of the arena?
John Cena raps about Rikishi and doesn’t seem to like him that much. Cue Rikishi for his half of the battle rap, which is rather inferior to Cena’s. “Piece of the Kish” is still a horrible catchphrase.
Stephanie watches the tape of Bischoff kissing her again because they’re STILL trying to make that into something. Eddie and Chavo Guerrero come in to make some jokes and ask for a title match. Stephanie gives Eddie Lesnar instead. She also promises an announcement regarding the Tag Team Titles on the upcoming Super Tuesday special.
Rikishi vs. John Cena
Cena can’t get a go behind to start and a headlock doesn’t get him very far either. Back in and John gets all fired up but runs away when Rikishi bends over in front of him. Instead Cena trips him up and gets two off a missile dropkick. A chinlock doesn’t get Cena very far as Rikishi gives him a Samoan Drop and Stinkface. The Banzai Drop ends Cena in a hurry.
Rating: D-. So Cena gets a new gimmick a week ago which allows him to show off his natural abilities and now he’s jobbing to Rikishi in a match where he’s humiliated. Even Test got to win some matches and his entire gimmick is his manager saying “Testicles” over and over again.
Rikishi dances post match.
Shannon Moore has embraced Mattitude but gets yelled at for putting sugar in his coffee. Moore is dubbed an MF’er (Mattitude Follower) and Matt goes off to see Brock.
Al is with Dawn Marie and promises to ask her the question.
Matt goes to see Lesnar but finds Heyman instead. He offers to soften Big Show up like he did with Undertaker and Heyman gives him a bunch of praise. Heyman goes in to see Brock to tell him what happened but Brock isn’t happy. Paul tells him to chill because it’s all about Survivor Series.
Here’s Al Wilson to call Dawn Marie to the ring for the question. She’s made him feel strong, sexy and virile. He proposes and she accepts as the announcers make jokes about Billy and Chuck. Cole: “Look at Dawn!” Tazz: “Look at Al!” Cole: “Look at Dawn!” Tazz: “Look at Al!” Al threatens to kill herself if she says no and Dawn finally says yes. Cole and Tazz: “NO!”
Big Show vs. Matt Hardy
Matt hates cold weather and scored a 1330 on his SAT’s. Dang I got a better score than Matt. Show clotheslines him down to start and tosses him to various places. A backbreaker sets up a bearhug but Matt bites his face to break it up. Not that it matters as the chokeslam ends Matt in less than two minutes. Ok so they just set up Matt with a lackey and they had NO OTHER OPTION here other than to squash Matt? Nothing at all? There was NO ONE associated with Matt that could have done this?
Show says he’ll win the title and we see Lesnar destroying a TV.
Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio
Angle and Benoit are defending and this is 2/3 falls. Mysterio sends Angle to the floor to start and grabs a hurricanrana back inside. It’s off to Edge as we hear about his great feud with Angle over the summer. Edge snaps off some armdrags but makes the mistake of going after Angle, earning himself a German suplex.
The champs beat on Edge for a bit until he catches Benoit in an implant DDT. The hot tag allows Rey to Drop the Dime for two and the pop up hurricanrana gets a VERY close two as well with Angle making the save. Not that it matters as a powerbomb/springboard seated senton ends Benoit for the first fall. A quick Angle Slam is countered with an armdrag so Kurt settles for a belly to belly. Benoit adds a gutbuster as Rey is in trouble, which is one of his strong suits.
Rey reverses a super gutbuster to put both guys down, setting up a double hot tag. Edge cleans house (of course) but dares to suplex Angle, who sidesteps a spear to send Edge into a belt shot from Benoit. The ankle lock ties things up and we take a break with Benoit and Angle arguing over credit for the win. I know this story is done to death but when it’s done well like this, it’s rather fun to watch.
Back with Angle in control on Mysterio until a spinwheel kick allows another hot tag to Edge. A belly to belly sends the Canadian flying though and Benoit comes back in. That means a variety of suplexes, including a belly to back superplex which knocks both guys silly. Angle and Mysterio come in again with Rey picking up the pace and sending Angle shoulder first into the post.
The 619 is countered but Rey grabs a sunset flip for the pin and the titles. Now you know it’s not going to end without several more near falls and, of course, Angle had the ropes so there’s no fall. Back from another break with Rey dropkicking the arguing champions, earning his knees a solid beating. Benoit grabs a gutwrench suplex and hands it back off to Angle for more suplexes.
Rey counters a wheelbarrow suplex into a DDT and it’s back to Edge for the house cleaning. An ankle lock cuts that off in a hurry but Edge sends him into the buckle, allowing Rey to hit a 619 around the post. Edge spears Angle and avoids Benoit’s Swan Dive, which hits Angle by mistake. A dropkick puts Chris on the floor and Edge pins Angle for the titles.
Rating: A. This was the rare ultra long TV match and there’s almost no way that these four aren’t going to have an instant classic with this much time. Every combination of these guys are going to be able to have an amazing sequence and that makes for some outstanding TV. I could have gone with this being a one fall match but the 2/3 falls was hardly a bad idea.
We run down the Super Tuesday card. I’ll throw that in as a bonus with the next Raw review.
Big Show has something in mind for Lesnar tonight.
Eddie and Chavo annoy Heyman until Brock comes out and chases them off. Heyman yells at Brock and tells him to stick with the plans that got them here. Paul won’t be there for him tonight to teach Lesnar a lesson for one night.
Scott Steiner video.
Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guerrero
Non-title. Chavo’s cheap shot doesn’t get him very far so Brock goes with shoulders to Eddie’s ribs. Brock: “Come on holmes! Come on essa!” Eddie gets run down again and we hit the bearhug. The champ switches it up to an over the shoulder backbreaker but bends both arms down at the same time.
Chavo offers a distraction so Eddie can get in a low blow and a hard series of stomps. The Lasso From El Paso goes on but only seems to annoy the champ. A dropkick only makes it worse and that means it’s time for the belly to belly. Chavo pulls Eddie out of the way of a charge though and Brock goes shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters as Brock gets back up for the F5 and the pin.
Rating: C+. That’s a great use of both Lesnar and someone like Guerrero. Eddie is going to be fine with a loss like this and Lesnar gets something out of a victory here. Losing to the World Champion doesn’t hurt Eddie whatsoever so let them do this in a quick TV match. It needed more time but it was good enough while it lasted.
Post match here’s Show to toss Lesnar off the stage and onto a crash pad to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. Talk about a difference between hours. The first half of this show was filled with young talent getting beaten up by older guys and Al Wilson. The second half was a thirty minute classic and a fine Lesnar vs. Guerrero match. I don’t remember the last time a show turned on the jets like that and it made for some very fun TV. Get rid of the Al stuff and these shows are even better than they are now, which is quite the impressive move.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania XXXIII Preview: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
All aboard!
This one belongs on the pre-show, for the sake of the entrances taking up too much time alone. At the moment there are a ton of jobbers filling out a lot of the spots, meaning this is about what you would expect from this kind of thing. At the moment there are twenty five entrants, though you can almost guarantee five more being added at minimum. As is so often the case, only a handful of them are realistic options.
For my money (and almost everyone else’s), those options are Big Show, Braun Strowman and Sami Zayn, but I’ll throw in Mojo Rawley and the recently added Killian Dain. There’s a real chance to make someone in this battle royal and they’ve been pushing the heck out of Rawley on TV as of late. Throw in how cool he was at Axxess and I’d love to see him go somewhere, especially in a match that doesn’t have to be some big game changer if they don’t want it to be. The rest of the filed will be pure filler, but it could be really interesting to see what surprises they might throw out.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 31, 2002: I’m Sure This Show Won’t Change Wrestling Forever or ANything
Smackdown Date: October 31, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s a special show as Smackdown is having a Halloween party. This show is memorable for one specific reason that we’ll get to later but above all else it isn’t likely to include necrophilia or a #1 contender losing to a low level talent. Did I mention I’m still a bit sick of Raw at the moment? Let’s get to it.
We open at the party with Ron Simmons as a pimp (yelling at the French maid waitresses), Eddie coming in as Zorro and Chavo in a sombrero. Stephanie (looking GREAT as a witch and showing off her, shall we say, cauldrons) calls things to order (we need good, organized fun around here) and puts Rey Mysterio in the main event against Brock Lesnar.
Opening sequence.
Edge vs. Chris Benoit
Feeling out process to start with Edge working on the arm but getting reversed into a headlock. They chop it out until Benoit gets sent chest first into the buckle for two. They’re certainly taking their time here and that should only mean good things. Edge drapes him ribs first across the top but misses a baseball slide, allowing Benoit to start in on the shoulder.
A dropkick sends the shoulder into the steps, which Cole thinks might be a prelude to the Crossface. Benoit sends the arm into the post and gets two off a suplex. They head to the corner with Benoit loading up a belly to belly superplex, only to get countered into what looked like a super X Factor to send us to a break.
Back with Edge having to go to the ropes to escape the Crossface but getting caught in the rolling German suplexes. Edge is ok enough to hot shot him onto the buckle and grab an Edge-o-Matic for two. The spear is countered into the Crossface so Edge grabs the referee for a unique idea. Cue Angle to pull Benoit off though, allowing Edge to baseball slide Benoit into Kurt. Edge dives at Benoit but hits Angle instead, followed by the spear for the pin on Benoit.
Rating: B+. Good stuff here with Angle’s interference making sense and allowing Edge to still get what was close enough to a clean win. Edge is clearly on the fast track to the top of the card and wins like this are going to put him even higher up on the card. I mean, assuming he learns to sell the arm that was worked on when he hits the winning spear that is. That still bugs me.
We go back to the party where John Cena, dressed like Vanilla Ice, debuts his rapping skills, which allegedly saved his job (and so it begins). Elsewhere, Tajiri runs into Torrie Wilson as Xena Warrior Princess (as opposed to Xena, your local Hyundai dealer) but tells her he has a new girlfriend. This causes him to hit on Mae Young (Marilyn Monroe) when Dawn Marie (a cop) and Al Wilson (Fonzie) come in. Nothing of note is said but they did in fact come in.
Post break, Benoit storms into the party and wants Angle. No one has seen him so Benoit leaves, only to have Angle pull off a Scream mask and smirk.
Brock Lesnar, not in costume (thank goodness), runs into a production worker who asks who Lesnar is supposed to be. Brock: “I’m the WWE Champion.” Good answer. Lesnar goes in to see Heyman, who compares the Cell match to Ali vs. Frazier. As you try to get your head around that, Heyman says he doesn’t think Lesnar can beat Big Show. So Lesnar isn’t as good as Booker T., Rob Van Dam, Bubba Ray Dudley or BILLY GUNN, all of whom have beaten Big Show this year. Heyman also implies that Lesnar is too stupid to know he can’t beat Big Show. When they push Show, they REALLY push Show.
Big Show vs. Rikishi
Show is in street clothes, which certainly look less ridiculous than that one piece women’s swimsuit look he had been sporting. Rikishi hammers away to start but gets taken outside where the beating begins. A whip into the corner breaks the turnbuckle pad and a powerslam has Big Show winded. The chokeslam is good for the quick win.
Post match, Show says that was nothing compared to what Lesnar is getting at Survivor Series. He’s waiting for Lesnar and even stays in the ring through a break. Back with Show letting us see the Undertaker attack last week in case we had forgotten how big and awesome he is.
After more bragging (including Show saying Brock can’t beat Paul Wight), Brock FINALLY comes out, despite Heyman’s protests. Lesnar gets right in his face with the announcers talking about how big the size difference is. You mean like the one with Undertaker? Show is a monster and promises to beat Lesnar. This was WAY too long and featured way too much Big Show, who might as well just be a big dragon at this point.
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson
They’re fighting in a big pool of chocolate and there’s a table of pastries next to them. Cole describes Torrie, as Xena Warrior Princess, as a dominatrix Heidi. Anyway, pastries are used, the chocolate is invaded, the referee is dragged in, Dawn’s clothes are ripped off and she eventually gets out, allowing Torrie to get the pin. I have no idea what else there is to say here.
Tony Chimmel is thrown into the chocolate.
Matt Hardy shows up at the party and of course he has his own portable theme music. He takes Tajiri away from Moolah and Mae Young (“Versions B.C.”) because they have a match.
Nidia and Jamie Noble (dressed as each other) bob for apples when Los Guerreros come in to ask Stephanie for a Tag Team Title shot. Cena raps to her to say Vince is in Stephanie’s office.
Matt Hardy vs. Tajiri
Matt always got more Halloween candy than his brother and he’s seen all of the Friday the 13th movies. I guess he’s not a Michael Myers fan. The announcers immediately start talking about Vince, who MUST be here to talk about the Scott Steiner signing. They slowly fight over a top wristlock to start with Tajiri bridging out and armdragging Matt down. A baseball slide puts Matt on the floor for a moonsault.
Back in and the Side Effect gets two on Tajiri as everything on the floor is quickly forgotten. The Ricochet gets the same and it’s off to a cravate to keep Tajiri in trouble. Matt spends too much time screaming before trying the middle rope legdrop and Tajiri gets in one heck of a superkick for two. The Tarantula is countered into a wheelbarrow suplex though, followed by the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine enough but really nothing all that special. Matt is doing as well as he can but with this as his biggest win under the new gimmick, there’s only so much he’s going to be able to do. I mean, he’s a week removed from losing clean to Rikishi. Tajiri is entertaining but just kind of there for the most part. Not much here, but that’s part of the problem with this section of Smackdown.
Stephanie goes into her office and it’s someone in a Vince mask. The person brags about Steiner going to Raw and of course it’s Bischoff…..who kisses Stephanie. She certainly doesn’t seem to mind it because THIS STORY IS THE BIGGEST THING EVER (except for Big Show) and you’ll care!
Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero
Angle takes him to the mat to start and Eddie dives for the ropes for an early break. Something like a backdrop throw sends Eddie flying and it’s time to go outside for a breather. There’s something very intimidating about Angle crouched down and waiting on you to get back inside.
Back in and Eddie uses the referee as a distraction to hammer away at Kurt, which earns him a hard running clothesline. Eddie grabs a Saito suplex and it’s off to a front facelock. The fans are behind Angle because they don’t appreciated a good Zorro, even if he was wearing lime green tights. A chinlock slows things down for a good while until it’s off to a figure four necklock to keep Angle on the mat.
Angle reverses into an ankle lock but Eddie is right back out of it and hammering away in the corner. For some reason Eddie tries a German suplex and I’m sure you can tell what that means. Since one isn’t enough it’s time to roll some German suplexes on Guerrero. The Angle Slam is reversed into a cradle for two, followed by a tornado DDT for the same.
Eddie can’t keep the El Paso Lasso on for very long as Angle reverses into the ankle lock. That doesn’t work either as Eddie gets in a low blow, followed by the brainbuster. Eddie takes too long going up though, allowing Angle to shove the referee into the corner to crotch him down. Cue Chavo for a failed interference but Benoit comes in with a belt to Angle’s head, allowing the frog splash to give Eddie the pin.
Rating: B. The long chinlocks brought things down a bit but sweet goodness these two are talented guys. It’s no wonder why they would be in a World Title match at Wrestlemania in a year and a half, which is the kind of spot that these two deserve. The interference made sense here too, which doesn’t happen often but if it’s properly done, it can really enhance a match.
Benoit hits Eddie with the belt as well.
Angle storms into the party and accuses the guy in the Scream mask of being Benoit. It turns out that it’s Brother Love, which is amusing enough. Benoit comes in and they trade holds until the Angle Slam puts Benoit through a table but Benoit hits him with a bottle on the way down, leaving both guys out.
Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio
Non-title. Rey starts a chase early on and drops a leg across Brock’s back as he gets inside. A rollup is easily blocked and Rey heads outside again, this time faking Brock out by hiding behind the steps. Rey gets in a dropkick but gets thrown into the post to put Brock in control for the first time. Back in and we hit an over the shoulder backbreaker, followed by a release overhead belly to belly. Lesnar misses a charge into the post and takes a 619 to the ribs…but here’s Big Show to throw Rey into the crowd for the DQ.
Rating: C. The match was getting my attention and then never mind because it’s BIG SHOW TIME! Above all else, this match made me realize one thing: Lesnar rarely fights anything but power guys. The guy was the NCAA Heavyweight Champion and can probably out-wrestle anyone not named Kurt but for some reason all he gets are power guys. He and Mysterio were having an entertaining match because it was something Lesnar doesn’t get to do very often but instead, let’s go with another power opponent.
Lesnar gets beaten up and put through the announcers’ table to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Let the wrestling roll. This show is the opposite of Raw where it’s a bunch of stupid stuff with one good match in the middle to keep things watchable. Instead, Smackdown is a show with a bunch of wrestling (two matches breaking thirteen minutes) and a little nonsense thrown in. The Bischoff vs. Stephanie stuff is stupid but the witch costume made up for a good chunk of it. Couple that with the great three way tag team feud and this show is consistently putting out some of the most entertaining week to week stuff I can remember in a long time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – October 24, 2002: How Do You Like Your Wrestling?
Smackdown Date: October 24, 2002
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole
With No Mercy done (and Undertaker probably still bleeding), it’s time to start the road towards Survivor Series in about a month. The real buzz is about the Tag Team Titles though after Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle became the inaugural champions in a masterpiece. Unlike Raw, there are a few things I’m excited to see develop so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Matt Hardy vs. Rikishi
This is fallout from Matt getting a Stinkface last week. Before we get started though, did you know that Mattitude is practiced in over 100 countries or that Matt’s bedtime is 4am? Rikishi wipes himself with Matt’s shirt before taking him down off a clothesline. Matt’s top rope clothesline gets two but the rotund Samoan wins a slugout. A Stinkface doesn’t work but Matt is shoved away from the Twist of Fate, setting up the Rikishi Driver (I’ve missed that one) for the pin. Cole: “Mattitude has been deleted!”
Rating: D+. So Matt gets a new, amazing gimmick (which he probably came up with himself) and gets to lose clean to Rikishi to pay off a moment where he got humiliated. I mean, it’s not as bad as almost anything Raw has done lately but this isn’t the brightest booking in the world.
Rikishi dances post match but Big Show comes in and lays him out. Wasn’t he teasing a face turn on Raw? Show challenges Lesnar for the title.
Here’s Stephanie McMahon to present a trophy to Benoit and Angle. Kurt says he lead his team to victory last night so he’ll accept the trophy and put it on his Wall of Fame at home. Benoit grabs the trophy and says if it wasn’t for Stephanie’s ruling, he would have taken Angle out a long time ago. Angle says it’s his because he got the submission last night. They fight over the trophy and Stephanie gets hit in the face as the thing breaks. That earns both of them a slap to the face before Stephanie makes a match for the broken trophy.
Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Tajiri
Noble, dressed as Elvis of course, is defending in a rematch from their good effort on Sunday. Tajiri hits the ring after a lame impression and elbows the wig off the champ. Of course Tajiri puts the wig on for a little dance before dropping Noble (still in the Elvis jacket) into the corner. The Tarantula is broken up and Nidia offers a distraction, meaning Tajiri kicks the post by mistake. Back in and Noble kicks the leg out but can’t hit the Tiger Bomb. Nidia gets on the apron but Tajiri kicks the bickering couple together, only to get rolled up (with an assist from Nidia) to retain the title.
Rating: C-. These two work well together but you need more than four minutes to make something like this go. Noble has been champion for about four months now and I really don’t think anyone has noticed. I know the idea was to have Mysterio fix the division but when he’s doing all that other great stuff, it seems like a waste of time.
Tazz has the wig and we hear about next week’s Halloween party.
Dawn Marie, with the lowest cut dress legal by law, finds Torrie and apologizes for her behavior in recent weeks. She really cares for Al but she’ll break it off for the sake of Torrie and her family. Torrie says great and walks away, not really convinced.
Eddie and Chavo have a standoff with Angle and tell him that Benoit had some plans for him after the tournament was over. Naturally Angle believes him and tensions continue to heighten.
Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero
The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Edge and Chavo start things off with Edge’s armbar not getting him anywhere. Instead a shoulder puts Chavo down but he gets his knees up to block Rey’s springboard moonsault. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Rey sending the Guerreros outside but face miscommunication lets Eddie take over.
Eddie elbows Rey in the mask and it’s time to work on the ribs and back, which were banged up on Sunday. I love when they remember stuff from just a few days ago. A pumphandle backbreaker gives Eddie two and Chavo’s tilt-a-whirl version gets the same. Rey dropkicks Chavo into his cousin though and it’s off to Edge as things speed up again. An Edge-O-Matic gets two on Eddie but he’s still able to save Chavo from the 619.
Instead it’s the spear for two on Chavo, followed by the 619. A powerbomb/springboard seated senton crushes Chavo but Eddie makes the save with a slingshot hilo. The referee goes after Eddie, allowing Rey to sneak in a springboard legdrop to give Edge the pin. Eddie not realizing what was going on behind him gives us a great visual.
Rating: B. This didn’t have the time to work as well as their other stuff but these people are incapable of having a bad match at this point. Mysterio and Edge vs. Benoit and Angle in a rematch makes perfect sense after their masterpiece on Sunday. I’m sure the Guerreros will get in on the titles soon enough because they’re too good to leave out.
Undertaker is looking for Lesnar. Why would that feud continue?
Video on the Cell, narrated by Paul Heyman, about how Lesnar owns him now.
Here’s a limping Undertaker to call Lesnar out. He gets Heyman instead because Lesnar has no interest in hearing what Undertaker has to say. Scratch that though as Lesnar comes out and gets right in the ring anyway. So why was Heyman necessary there? Everyone has told Undertaker that his hand injury cost him the match but the reality is that Lesnar had his number on Sunday. Five years ago the hand wouldn’t have mattered but it mattered on Sunday.
Now the purists are going to complain about Lesnar bringing in Undertaker’s personal life (that sounds rather out of character for Undertaker) but he understands head games. He’s fought and beaten the best but Sunday, Lesnar was the better man. Undertaker goes to leave when Brock stops him and takes the mic. As for Sara, Brock needed and edge but he’s supposed to be all about business. I guess that’s an apology and leaning towards a face turn for Lesnar?
Brock and Heyman leave but Heyman stops and nods in respect to Undertaker. We’re not done though as Undertaker says that after twelve years, his body is…..going to be interrupted by Big Show. He can’t believe what he’s hearing because it’s been him beating Undertaker up for the last two years, not Lesnar. Undertaker says he’d rather be a broken down has been than a giant never was.
It’s time to leave again but this time Big Show follows and eventually passes Undertaker. Ever the moron (he is a face you know), Undertaker poses on the edge of the stage. Big Show, gorilla press, crash (onto what looks like a big pad that we never get a good look at). This took WAY too long to set up Big Show vs. Undertaker.
Post break some of the locker room has come out to check on Undertaker. Stephanie has now decided that she’s a medical expert and is bossing the EMT’s around. Undertaker is slowly put on a stretcher as Stephanie threatens the medical people if they don’t get him out of here faster. Eventually he gets off the stretcher and stumbles around with Arn Anderson shouting “LET US HELP YOU TAKE!” Agents eventually help walk him to the back.
And now, Dawn Marie! She tells Al that they should say goodbye now before turning around. See, she’s only been with a few men and he was the most passionate. Kissing ensues.
John Cena vs. Billy Kidman
Rematch from last week when Cena cheated to win. A dropkick puts Cena on the floor to start but a drive into the barricade has Kidman in trouble. Back in and a spinebuster gives Cena two but Kidman hits some more dropkicks. A middle rope back elbow to the jaw drops Cena and a hurricanrana (with a handful of rope) puts John away. So to recap we have two cheaters with .500 record in recent weeks. The WWE formula in a nutshell.
Cena lays Kidman out post match and shows some fire. I mean it’s some slightly extinguished fire because he just lost but that’s common around here.
Lesnar gets interviewed and wants to know where Funaki is. Anyway if Big Show wants a fight, he’s not hard to find.
Eddie apologizes to Benoit for what’s happened between them and offers to show some respect. Benoit smells an ulterior motive.
Big Show goes into Lesnar’s locker room. Heyman tries to talk things down but Brock says Show can have a title shot.
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
For a broken trophy. Angle takes over on the mat to start and Benoit looks annoyed at not being able to sit out on him. Kurt does it again until Benoit elbows him in the face for the break. A hard clothesline cuts Benoit off and a belly to back gets two. They’re not really following up on stuff here as it’s one move and then a breather before they do anything else.
Benoit speeds things up a bit with a clothesline to the back of the head, followed by some rolling German suplexes. It’s hard not to cringe watching their heads slam off the mat like that. Angle reverses the third suplex into two of his own but the Angle Slam is reversed into a release German suplex. One heck of a Swan Dive gets two so we hit the Crossface.
Angle rolls him over and reverses into the ankle lock but Benoit small packages him for two. The Angle Slam connects for the same and it’s back to the ankle. That’s reversed back into the Crossface but Angle reverses that as well. Benoit goes up and gets belly to bellied right back down….but here are the Guerreros for a distraction so Chavo can hit Angle with a belt, giving Benoit an easy pin. Benoit might not have seen what happened.
Rating: B. The match was good but they didn’t have nearly enough time to do what they’re capable of pulling off. These two have some of the best chemistry in wrestling and even if we’ve seen it multiple times, it’s cool to see them bust out all those ridiculous counters. The ending is annoying but if it gives us more Eddie greatness, I think I can live with it.
Angle pops up and hits a quick Angle Slam on Benoit, followed by breaking the trophy. I’m glad some things never change.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good here but this one depends on your taste in stories. Lesnar vs. Big Show is just depressing, Dawn Marie and the Wilsons works for an obvious reason and the tag stuff is outstanding. If you can stand some of the slow paced stories and at times dumb ideas (What is Dawn doing this for?), you can get to the excellent wrestling. Unfortunately, Big Show coming in at such a high place isn’t going to help anything as I’d be more than fine with Lesnar vs. most of the Smackdown Six. The good stuff is REALLY good right now though and that’s what matters most. Well that and no Katie Vick.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXV: Not So Fast
Wrestlemania XXV Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
After last year’s great show, we get….this. Wrestlemania 25 is often listed alongside the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. I watched it live and thought it sucked other than the candidate for best match ever in the middle of it. This is one of the ones that I wasn’t looking forward to but I have to be tortured for this job. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of people being asked what the biggest moment in Wrestlemania history is over the first 25 years (let me get this out of the way: IT WAS TWENTY FOUR AT THAT TIME. This drove me CRAZY at the time because the show was built up as the 25th anniversary of the show, but that isn’t how things work. Think about it: when you get married, the day a year later is your first anniversary, meaning that Wrestlemania 2 would be the first anniversary, Wrestlemania 3 is your second anniversary and so on to Wrestlemania 25 being the TWENTY FOURTH ANNIVERARY, NOT THE TWENTY FIFTH!).
Anyway the answers are exactly what you would expect: ladder match, Hogan slamming Andre, Hogan vs. Warrior etc. This leads to a video of people saying they’re making the top moment tonight.
Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.
MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane
MITB here. Henry has Tony Atlas with him, MVP is the face US Champion and Kofi is still Jamaican. BIG pop for Christian here. It’s a big brawl to start as the fans are solidly behind Christian here. Christian and Shelton run over Henry with the big ladder but Kofi jumps over it and takes both guys down. There’s a Boom Drop onto the ladder onto both guys. The ladder is set up in the ring but here’s Kane to beat everyone up.
Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.
Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.
Horny slides in his own ladder to climb onto Henry’s back and dive onto all six guys on the floor. Finlay is the only guy standing and throws in a big ladder, but he had to fight Kofi. Kofi dives THROUGH the ladder and drops it onto Finlay for good measure. Finlay drops him with the Horny ladder and does the same to Christian and Kane. The Irishman tries to go up but Kofi kicks him down.
Kingston tries for a climb but Henry is back again and shoves down the ladder. In an AWESOME spot, Henry holds the ladder to set it in place and Kofi runs up, only to be dropped down and hit with a World’s Strongest Slam onto the ladder. MVP slides a ladder into the standing one to make a kind of platform. Shelton slides under the ladder and kicks MVP in the ribs. MVP comes back with a kind of powerbomb on Benjamin but Punk stops the climb.
Now it’s Christian and Punk with Punk on the ladder and Christian on the platform. Now they’re both on the same side of the ladder and Christian hits the Killswitch off the ladder. By hits I mean Christian drops him in midair and Punk’s head never came within three feet of the mat but you do what you can I guess. MVP climbs up but Shelton climbs a ladder on the floor to get to the platform to get to the ladder for a sunset bomb to MVP. By sunset bomb, I mean he doesn’t get MVP over and basically pulls MVP’s face down the ladder. That’s two big blown spots in a row.
MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.
Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.
Rating: B-. The blown spots REALLY bring this down because they were some terribly blown spots. Punk winning is fine as it was eventually the catalyst for his heel turn but that wouldn’t be for about six months. The match was good and having some fresh blood with Kofi out there helped, but the match overall was a letdown compared to other years, as the problem becomes “how do you top the other stuff?”. Still good though.
Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.
Now we get to the part of this show which makes fans’ heads hurt: a TWELVE MINUTE Kid Rock song medley. Keep in mind that a unification match for the two sets of tag titles was on the preshow and ran about 9 minutes. THAT can’t make Wrestlemania but this nonsense can. This is to set up the Miss Wrestlemania battle royal.
Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal
Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson
The medley contains the entrances for all 25 girls, none of whom get entrances or even introductions, so the fans have no idea who all is in this thing for the most part. Justin Roberts is reading the rules and people are already being eliminated. Not that we’re told WHO THEY ARE or anything but whatever. Oh and you can go through the ropes too. Cole: “You can get a look at all the entrants in this on WWE.com!” Yeah, that’s the only way to see them because KID ROCK had to eat up all their time.
Sunny, Torrie, Layla and Rosa are out for sure but the rest of them aren’t even mentioned. Gail and Jillian eliminate each other as Beth eliminates Tiffany and some other chick not mentioned. Molly and Kelly are put out as is Maryse. Beth dumps both Bellas and the only Divas left are Michelle, Mickie, Melina and Beth. Mickie and Michelle eliminate each other but Santina eliminates the other two. It’s Santino in drag if that wasn’t clear. Yeah, THIS is your payoff for bringing back all those famous chicks. This led to months of STUPID jokes and skits about them being brother and sister or something. No rating but this was awful.
Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.
We recap Jericho vs. Piper/Snuka/Steamboat which is built around the Mickey Rourke movie The Wrestler. The idea is that Jericho insulted Rourke and the movie because it’s not the same as getting in the ring. Rourke said he’d fight at Mania then backpedaled. We then had Jericho insult Snuka, Piper and Steamboat for sticking around too long. Flair was insulted as well but since Flair can’t wrestle anymore, Jericho beat up and challenged the other legends to a match here tonight.
Rourke is at ringside.
Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat
Flair is here to support his fellow old people. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s somewhere between smashed and alcohol poisoning. Jericho has to beat all three legends to win so he starts with Piper. Roddy looks bad but considering less than two years earlier he was diagnosed with lymphoma, this is pretty impressive.
Piper fires away to start and takes it to the mat before hooking a quick sunset flip for two. A kind of dropkick puts Chris down and Roddy pounds away in the corner. Jimmy comes in and the match turns into slow motion. To be fair he’s about 65 here. Ricky comes in and starts cranking on the arm as you would expect him to. Back to Jimmy for a double chop although only Ricky’s actually hits. Out of nowhere Jericho puts on the Walls for the elimination.
Piper comes back in and works over the ribs before throwing on the sleeper. It only lasts for a few seconds though before Jericho rams him into the top rope and gets the elimination via a running enziguri. This leaves Steamboat vs. Jericho with the Dragon coming in with the top rope cross body for a VERY close near fall. A snapmare puts Ricky down and jericho kicks him in the back before putting on a chinlock. In the STUPID part of the show, Jericho throws Steamboat over the ropes for him to skin the cat, but LET’S LOOK AT FLAIR INSTEAD!
Jericho gets backdropped over the top to the floor and IT’S A FLYING OLD MAN to take Jericho down again. Back in and a top rope chop has Jericho reeling. Steamboat jumps over Chris out of the corner and gets a rollup for two. Jericho finally hits the bulldog but the Lionsault misses. Ricky grabs a powerslam out of nowhere for two but gets caught in the Walls. Steamboat reverses THAT into a small package for the hottest two count you’ll see in years. If that’s not enough, Steamboat backflips out of a belly to back suplex, only to walk into the Codebreaker to let Jericho survive.
Rating: B-. WOW Steamboat had me going here and I knew what the ending was. Steamboat was 56 years old here and hadn’t wrestled regularly in FIFTEEN YEARS and just had the crowd actually believing he could beat Jericho five months after he lost the world title. That’s ASTONISHING and would lead to a one on one match between these two at Backlash. Snuka and Piper were there for one last hurrah but Steamboat was trying to steal the show and came pretty freaking close. This is a great example of a match with NO reason to be good which wound up being pretty sweet.
Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.
We recap Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. The idea is that stuff had started happening to Jeff such as pyro nearly blinding him, someone trying to run him off the road, and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN. At Royal Rumble, Matt revealed that it was him behind it because he was jealous of Jeff’s success. Naturally, no charges were ever filed or anything like that, because why do that when you can have an extreme rules match here instead?
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Matt now has regular tights instead of the cargo jeans. Jeff takes him down and pounds away to start before heading to the floor. A hard poster to the head doesn’t do much to Matt, presumably BECAUSE IT WAS A POSTER. The steps work a bit better and there’s Poetry in Motion against the barricade to crush Matt. Back in and Poetry in Motion hits the corner instead of Matt and the Whisper in the Wind only hits chair.
Matt chokes away on the ropes and punches away at Jeff’s head. The Side Effect onto a chair gets two so Matt bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but Jeff fights off a suplex through said table and hits a running clothesline off the apron. Jeff busts out a kendo stick and a crutch to beat on Matt’s back before putting a trashcan over Matt’s head for the slingshot dropkick for two.
There goes Jeff’s shirt but the Swanton completely misses. The Twist of Fate gets two for Matt and he’s getting frustrated. Matt calls for a Swanton but gets caught in a superplex instead for no cover. There’s a BIG chair shot to Matt’s head which sends him to the floor. Jeff lays Matt on the table before putting another table on top of that table. There’s a HUGE splash through both tables along with Matt to leave everyone laying.
Back in and that only gets two, and now it’s time for the ladders required by a Hardys match. A legdrop keeps Matt down and the ladder is set up. Make that two ladders with one being bigger than the other. Jeff climbs the small ladder and jumps over the tall ladder, only to miss his big legdrop. Matt puts Jeff’s neck in the chair for a Twist of Fate to finally end this.
Rating: B. This was a solid brawl but it would all go downhill from here. Their feud didn’t ever quite work for the most part because the audience wasn’t all that interested and Matt didn’t work as a top heel. As for this match though, they beat the tar out of each other and Matt looked violent and evil. Unfortunately he couldn’t back that up for the most part.
Orton is ready for the main event.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Rey is challenging. JBL goes on a rant about how much Texas sucks and how they’ve lost their backbone. After this match is over, JBL is bailing on Texas and heading back to New York where he loves to be. Rey is the Joker from Dark Knight this year. They actually do big match intros here which isn’t something you see for a midcard title match. The referee reads them the rules and JBL kicks Rey in the head. Now the bell rings and Rey hits an enziguri, the 619 and a top rope splash for the pin and the title in about 20 seconds.
Post match JBL says he quits, which is his actual retirement as he’s never wrestled since.
We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.
Shawn might have hurt his knee but he’s channeling his inner Bret by goldbricking. Taker will have none of that and throws Shawn into the corner for more punishment. Michaels comes back with chops in the corner but gets backdropped down to stop the momentum. Taker drives some shoulder into Shawn but Shawn takes him down with a clothesline. The reverse Figure Four (called a regular one by that idiot Michael Cole) has Taker in trouble but he finally slugs his way out of it.
Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.
There’s the nipup but Shawn doesn’t tune up the band. Instead it’s a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline but as Shawn goes up, he jumps into the chokeslam. He escapes THAT and tries the superkick but is too far away, meaning the kick only hits Taker’s chest. It puts Taker down so Shawn tries the Figure Four but Taker counters into Hell’s Gate. Shawn flails around and gets a foot on the rope for a fast break but he’s clearly staggered.
We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.
Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.
Taker grabs him by the throat but the Last Ride is countered into a sunset flip bid, but THAT is countered into the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Watching this match for probably the fourth time I actually thought that was the finish. Think about that for a minute. Taker goes up top and misses a top rope elbow but as Shawn tries to skin the cat, Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone. He sticks the tongue out but THAT gets two, I believe making Shawn either the first or second guy ever to kick out of all three of Taker’s finishers.
Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.
They fight up from their knees and use each other to pull themselves up before slugging it out with everything they’ve got. A big boot puts Shawn down but Taker charges into a boot in the corner to put him down. Shawn climbs up top and tries a moonsault press, but Taker somehow catches him in mid air for another Tombstone to make him 16-0, and that’s your match of the year.
Rating: A+. Masterpiece, excellent, classic, best match they’ve ever had, best match of all time candidate etc. Pick one, as they’re all appropriate. This is one of the only matches ever where I’ve been on the edge of my seat the entire time and lost my mind on the kickouts. Absolutely outstanding here and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen, and that covers quite a bit of ground.
Now what gets to follow that?
We recap Edge vs. Big Show vs. Cena for the Raw Title. Edge switched brands at No Way Out after losing the WWE Title and won the World Title in the other Chamber match, because the titles are interchangeable props which you can pass around like this for no apparent reason. Edge’s wife Vickie was blackmailed into putting Cena into a triple threat match because Cena had video of Show and Vickie having an affair. This is basically a glorified handicap match.
Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena
Edge is defending and Vickie is STILL in the wheelchair. Cena’s big entrance this year: an army of probably 60 guys dressed in Cena gear make a tunnel for the real Cena to run through, complete with the old Word Life theme song. Cena fights off both guys but the numbers catch up with him, allowing the heels to take him down. Edge is knocked to the floor and it’s back to Cena who gets beaten down by the monster.
Show goes outside to get Edge but the champion dropkicks the steps into Show’s knees, allowing Cena to hit the top rope Fameasser to drive Show’s face into the floor. Back in and Cena tries a quick AA, only to be countered into the Edgecution for two. Show comes back in with a side slam for two on John but Cena comes back with right hands. When those don’t do much he tries to hit the ropes but Vickie’s nephew Chavo pulls him to the floor. That earns him an AA and we head back inside where John knocks Show into the ropes to tie him up. Show: “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”
Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.
Cena escapes a double chokeslam but can’t get the AA. Instead Show hits him with the WMD but instead of, I don’t know, COVERING, he goes to the floor after Edge. Edge counters a chokeslam into a DDT on the floor and all three guys are down. The champion crawls over to the steps and sets them right next to Show. With a running start, Edge uses the steps as a springboard and dives at Show, sending both of them through the barricade and into the crowd.
Back in and Edge gets two on Cena but the spear is countered into the STF. John pulls it back to the center of the ring but Big Show breaks it up by grabbing Cena’s throat. A Vader Bomb elbow misses Edge and everyone is down again. In a rare sight, Edge and Cena team up to suplex Show down and then clothesline him to the floor.
The Throwback puts Edge down but as Cena goes up, Show shoves him off and into a spear from Edge for two. Everyone is inside again and Show charges into a boot from Edge. The champion tries a sleeper on Show, so in the HOW DID HE DO THAT spot of the year, Cena AA’s BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME. Edge slides off and Show takes the full brunt. Cena hits an AA on Edge onto Big Show and pins the giant for the title.
Rating: B-. Fine but it’s another meaningless title change in a year which would be full of such things. Edge would get the title back at Backlash to make sure that these title reigns are as forgettable as possible and give us Cena vs. Big Show for about the ninth time. The match was just ok for the most part until the eye popping finish.
Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.
Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.
This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.
One night on Raw, HHH was knocked into the ropes and tied up as Stephanie came down. Orton gave Stephanie the Elevated DDT before kissing her on the lips, further enraging HHH. At one point in the rivalry, HHH broke into Orton’s house and threw him through a window. Orton decided to fight HHH at Wrestlemania instead of pressing charges. The stage was perfectly set for the great beat down by HHH, allowing him to let out all of his aggression and rage on Orton.
While not the greatest story in the world, at least there was a solid idea and we should get a solid brawl out of things. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fashioned beating of a hated rival is there? Well apparently WWE saw something wrong with it, because there was a stipulation added: if HHH gets countered out or more importantly disqualified, he loses the WWE Title. Upon hearing this, everyone collectively said HUH?
This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.
HHH(c) vs. Randy Orton
HHH has a cool entrance here as he swings his hammer at the camera, only to reveal that it’s a big mirror that he shatters. They stare at each other for a bit before HHH takes Orton down and pounds away. The champion stomps on Orton in the corner and is threatened with a DQ, showing us how stupid this gimmick is. With HHH yelling at the referee, Orton grabs an RKO out of nowhere a minute and five seconds in. The Punt misses and there’s the Pedigree but HHH can’t follow up.
Orton is sent to the floor and rammed into the announce table before heading back in for more right hands. HHH catapults Orton throat first into the bottom rope before dropping some knees on the head. Randy heads back to the floor and counters a whip to send HHH into the steps. HHH gets whipped into the timekeeper’s table which apparently hurt his shoulder. Orton tries to get the countout to get the title but the Game is back in at nine.
Randy drops some knees and kicks to the ribs and it’s off to the chinlock. Back up after a few moments in the hold and HHH punches his way out of the corner. The jumping knee to Orton’s face puts him down and there’s the facebuster for good measure. The Pedigree is countered into a catapult though, sending HHH face first into the buckle. Not that it really matters though as a clothesline puts Orton down for two as the slow pace finally picks up a bit.
HHH gets shoved off the top but Orton dives off the top into a boot. A rollup gets two for the champion and they slug it out some more. The spinebuster puts Randy down but the Pedigree is countered into Orton’s backbreaker for two. HHH gets in another clothesline and goes up for some reason, only to jump into a dropkick. A kick to HHH’s ribs is caught and Orton is flipped over the top and out to the floor. They head over to the announce table and HHH picks up a monitor but drops it for fear of losing the title.
The champion tries a Pedigree on the announce table, only to be backdropped down onto the table which doesn’t break. With HHH still on the table, Orton hits the Elevated DDT to drive HHH head first into the floor. HHH still manages to get back in at 9 so Orton stomps away even more. Randy stomps away in the corner and chokes away as this is dragging again. HHH comes back but Orton throws HHH into the referee. There’s the RKO but the referee is down.
With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.
Rating: D. Erg that was awful. This was the same problem they had with the Cena vs. HHH match from a few years ago, where it felt like they were trying for something epic that told a story but it didn’t work at all. Instead it was these two punching and kicking a lot while having to stop because they might get disqualified. This didn’t work at all because the match didn’t fit the buildup, which was only decent in the first place.
HHH stands over Orton’s body like a viking standing over a big kill to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, this show is WAY better than I remember it with only two bad matches the whole way through. Unfortunately, the first of those two matches is after a nearly fifteen minute concert which no one wanted to see. The other match though is the main event which counting recap, entrances and post match stuff is nearly 40 minutes. That match is like a sledgehammer to the knees of this show and is easily one of the worst main events in Mania history.
On the other hand, the rest of the show is shockingly good, but it falls short of what it could have been in places. MITB is probably the worst yet but still solid, the Legends match was good but had absolutely no right to be, the Hardy match was good but nothing more, and the triple threat was about the same. The problem here is that one match is all anyone really remembers from this show other than a few individual moments. The memory of the main event hurts this thing a lot as it’s the only thing people remember other than the Streak match. Much better show than I remember, but it’s no classic.
Ratings Comparison
Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Divas Battle Royal
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: C
Redo: B
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
Original: A+
Redo: A+
John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Randy Orton vs. HHH
Original: F+
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: D
Redo: B-
Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania XXIV Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re going outside for the first time in a long time for this one. It’s also the first time the show has been in Florida which is odd for some reason. Anyway the main events here are Undertaker challenging Edge for the title and Orton defending against HHH and Cena. As for HHH’s life mate Shawn, he’s facing Flair in what was pretty clearly going to be Flair’s last match. Let’s get to it.
John Legend sings America the Beautiful.
The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.
As usual, the big names on tonight’s show talk about how important this night is to them. It’s a used formula, but it always works.
This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
This is a Belfast Brawl which means street fight. Finlay was revealed to be Hornswoggle’s dad and JBL beat up the tiny man as a favor to Vince. Tonight it’s about revenge. Horny comes out with Finlay to appeal to the kids. Finlay charges at the ring and gets drilled by a knee to the head. JBL pounds away on the floor but gets sent shoulder first into the steps. We head inside for the opening bell and Finlay slides right back out to find some trashcans.
As he gets back in though JBL CRACKS him with a can and picks up some cookie sheets. Now the steps are brought in but JBL can’t powerbomb Finlay onto them. Some cookie sheet shots to the head put JBL down for two but a big boot does the same to Finlay. JBL stops to yell at Horny, allowing for the shot with that Irish club that I can’t spell. Since this is a WWE hardcore style match, it’s table time.
The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.
Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was fine. The whole point of this was to have a power brawl with some basic weapons which is what we got. I’m really not sure on JBL winning as the fans were solidly behind Horny and Finlay, but at least the match was entertaining and there were some hard shots in there. Good stuff here.
Kim Kardashian is guest hostess. She wasn’t famous for the most part yet here. Kennedy pops in and says he’ll win MITB and Kardashian is a little disturbed. Well to be fair she disturbs a lot of people so everything is even.
CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito
Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.
In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.
Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.
Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.
Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.
Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.
Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.
Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.
We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.
Fink comes out to do the live introductions of this year’s class. They include the Brisco Brothers, Gordon Solie (represented by his kids), Johnson and Maivia, Eddie Graham, Mae Young (who tries to strip) and Flair (represented by his children, including Reid who died about three days before this was written).
Snoop Dog is here to emcee the Playboy match later and apparently has a friend in Festus. Heel Santino Marella comes up to say that he’s going to be at the match later but Snoop rings the bell to send Festus into a rage. Mick Foley pops up for a cameo, complete with Snoop Sock.
Batista vs. Umaga
This is a Battle for Brand Supremacy with Batista on the blue team and Umaga on the red team. Seriously that’s the whole story here. Regal and Teddy are here as GM’s/motivators. Slugout to start followed by Umaga missing a charge into the corner. Batista sends him to the floor but once back inside Umaga takes Big Dave down with a spinwheel kick (decent one too). A big unbooted foot sends Batista to the floor and Umaga is in full control.
Umaga gets nowhere off a quick nerve hold and gets even worse off a missed swan dive. Batista can’t slam him down though and Umaga falls on top for two. A HARD kick to Batista’s back sets up another nerve hold to keep things slow. Back up and Batista walks into a Samoan Drop for another near fall. They fight up again and Batista gets up a boot in the corner to slow Umaga down. After blocking the Samoan Spike, Batista hits a spinebuster and the “Batista Bomb” (read as Batista picks him up and falls backwards to send Umaga to the mat) for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with Batista doing nothing and being booed for most of his comeback. I can’t say I blame the fans either as the match was just dull all around. How this makes Smackdown bigger than Raw is beyond me but that’s what WWE says so who am I to argue? Match sucked.
We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.
We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.
ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.
Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.
We recap Shawn vs. Flair. This was an odd build up as Vince said that the next match Flair lost would mean his retirement. This basically started Flair’s retirement tour as he held onto the title in upset after upset until he was all of a sudden on a roll. This led to Flair challenging Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels to a showdown at Wrestlemania, because if Flair can’t beat him he doesn’t want to keep going.
Flair was inducted into the Hall of Fame and it was made as clear as possible that Flair was going down to Shawn in Orlando. This led to a tear jerking video set to Leave the Memories Alone with a highlight reel of Flair’s career. The idea is that Shawn doesn’t want to do this but Flair wants Shawn to bring it.
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”
Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.
Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.
Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.
Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.
Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.
Edge talks about being a Hulkamaniac at Wrestlemania 6 and watching his hero losing. His innocence was lost that day but it’s ok. His life has come full circle because people rely on Undertaker to win at Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s taking everyone innocence by breaking the streak.
Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina
This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.
Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.
Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.
Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.
Post match Snoop lays out Santino with a clothesline and makes out with Maria. I’ll give him this: he seemed to be having a blast out there.
We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena
Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.
Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.
It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.
Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.
Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.
Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.
Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.
We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather which is the big celebrity match of the night. Big Show was a bully to the much smaller Mayweather at No Way Out where Floyd legitimately broke Show’s nose with a right hand, setting up tonight’s No DQ match. The big question was who do we cheer for in this match? The bully or the guy who keeps running his mouth and brags about how no one can beat him? That question was never answered even after the match was over. Mayweather allegedly got $20 million for this one match. He’s a world champion boxer if you’re not a fan of his.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show
You can by pin, submission or knockout. Other than that anything goes. Floyd is in gloves which would seem to be a disadvantage for him but whatever. He bobs and weaves a lot before firing off some nice punches to Big Show. Mayweather stops for a drink from a chalice (seriously) and Show beats up Mayweather’s team a bit. Show grabs an incoming punch and tries to stomp on Floyd’s hand. Smart strategy.
Show lifts him up for a chokeslam but that lets Floyd get on even level with Show’s head. Some rights to the face stagger show but Mayweather tries to choke him out, which actually works for a bit. Show finally flips him over and steps on Floyd’s left hand. The guys on the floor FREAK and say that’s not allowed before Show chops Mayweather in the corner. Show stands on Floyd’s back before putting him down with a side slam.
A headbutt stops Floyd’s comeback bid and there’s an elbow drop for good measure. Mayweather tries to bail but Big Show chases the team down, beats them up, and throws Floyd back in the ring. Show loads up the chokeslam but a handler hits Show with a chair. He gets chokeslammed down but Mayweather gets the chair and blasts Show with it a few times. A low blow and three chair shots to the head sets up a brass knuckle right hand to Show’s jaw for the knockout (and Show was on his knees at 9).
Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.
Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.
Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.
We get a video on the Streak which is interrupted by Edge’s theme music. Edge already beat Undertaker once by cashing in MITB last year and then costing him the title at Survivor Series. They’re trying to play up Streak vs. streak here but Edge lost in MITB last year.
Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge
Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.
Edge sends Taker over the corner by avoiding a big boot, possibly injuring Taker’s arm in the process. A spear sends Taker off the apron and into the barricade to work over the ribs a bit. Edge hits a hard baseball slide to send Taker back into the barricade as the match slows down a bit. With Undertaker on the apron, Edge hits a running neckbreaker to snap Undertaker’s neck across the top rope.
Back in and Edge pounds away even more before hitting a spear into the corner for no cover. Instead it’s a dropkick to put Taker down again and Edge goes up, only to be shoved down to the floor with a sick thud. There’s the Taker Dive to continue the Wrestlemania tradition. Taker drops the apron legdrop and heads back inside for the Last Ride but his back won’t let him use it.
They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.
The chokeslam is countered into the Impaler DDT for two. The second chokeslam attempt works but it only gets a near fall as well. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner but has to counter the Last Ride out of the corner with a neckbreaker for two. These counters are getting awesome. The Last Ride (more of a regular powerbomb here) hits but it only gets two. Edge counters the Tombstone into the Edge-O-Matic for ANOTHER close two. The fans aren’t buying Edge’s near falls.
Back up and Taker’s big boot hits the referee before Edge takes down the Dead Man. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam bid and Edge blasts Taker in the head with a camera. Taker sits up and like a dolt, Edge tries a Tombstone. Taker reverses into one of his own and here’s another referee running a LONG way down the aisle to count two. Cue Hawkins and Ryder (as in Curt and Zack, the Edgeheads) to distract Taker and let Edge hit the spear for two. NOW the fans are fired up about the kickout. Another spear connects but Taker grabs the Hell’s Gate submission out of nowhere and Edge taps away the title to make it 15-0.
Rating: A. I kept hearing about how great this match was and while I remember it being good, I don’t remember it being this good. It’s pretty safe to say that this is Edge’s best non-gimmick match ever and it’s one of his best ever period. Great match here and it would set up a series of solid gimmick matches between the two over the summer.
A lot of fireworks end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. There’s some very good stuff on here along with some historic stuff to go with it. The bad stuff is mostly short and the main event was very solid and better than I remember. I don’t know if I’d say it’s one of the best ever but it’s in the running for that list. Really fun show here which was better than I was expecting it to be.
Ratings Comparison
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison
Original: B
Redo: B
Batista vs. Umaga
Original: F+
Redo: D-
Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A
Redo: B
Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley
Original: F
Redo: F+
John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton
Original: C+
Redo: B
Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show
Original: D-
Redo: C+
Edge vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: A-
WOW I totally shortchanged this last time. It’s a great show and I said a C-? What was I on?
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