Summerslam 1999
Date: August 22, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 17,130
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the end of the summer for an interesting year in the WWF. The main event is the now mega heel HHH and the returning Mankind challenging Austin for the world title, but there’s another main attraction: Minnesota Governor and former wrestler Jesse Ventura is the guest referee for the second time in the history of this event. 1999 is a year remembered for a lot of flash and little substance but hopefully that doesn’t hold true here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about various guest referees over the years, including Mike Tyson and both McMahons. Jesse Ventura talks about how he’ll be the law in the ring and doesn’t care what happens.

Jesse lectures Chyna and HHH about not cheating. Chyna is allowed to be out there but the pinfall has to be in the ring and it has to be legal.

The recently debuted Chris Jericho yells at Jericholic Howard Finkel for being late.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown holds both titles coming in and Jarrett’s manager Debra is in a bikini with a coat over it. Jeff sends her to the back to make sure the fans completely hate him. In the back, Debra offers to escort Brown to the ring to get back at Jarrett. Jeff jumps D’Lo to start but the champion comes back with a powerslam for one. Another powerslam gets two and Jeff can’t bail to the floor for a breather. A leapfrog is countered into a short powerbomb for two but Jeff comes back with a sleeper.

Brown is sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Ross gets in one of his eye roll worthy lines by saying Brown wasn’t safe on that one. I love JR but when he gets bad it’s hard not to cringe. A clothesline puts Jarrett over the barricade and Brown pounds away. This is basic stuff so far but not bad at all. Back in and Jarrett gets in some shots to take over as the fans are behind the champion.

Jarrett hits a tornado DDT on the arm and wraps it around the post. The fans are more interested in the recently named Puppies. Jarrett misses a running crotch attack and gets caught in a running Liger Bomb for no cover. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two and a quick legdrop gets two. Brown misses a modified Swanton but here’s Debra on the apron. Jeff gets the guitar but here’s Brown’s training partner Mark Henry to destroy the guitar over D’Lo’s head to give Jarrett the titles. Debra of course rejoins Jeff eight minutes after leaving him.

Rating: C+. Nice opener here but the scent of Russo is strong in this one. Debra turned twice within a span of ten minutes in addition to interference and a run-in during a match for two titles at once. These two could clearly have a good match on their own but we had to bog it down with extra stuff anyway. That’s Russo 101: yeah it can make things interesting, but at other times it gets in the way of good wrestling.

Edge and Christian are ready for Tag Team Turmoil (a tag team gauntlet match) tonight. They outgrew Gangrel and are ready for his new team: the Hardys.

Tag Team Turmoil

As mentioned, Edge and Christian start against the Hardys which is a layup for a good start. The Canadians are good guys here and we have six teams involved with the winners getting a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Naturally it’s a brawl to start until we get down to Edge vs. Matt. A DDT puts the Hardy down and it’s off to Christian for a double hiptoss for two. Christian BADLY misses a spinwheel kick but it’s Gangrel interfering to give the Hardys control.

The Hardys take their shirts off to almost no reaction so you know they’re evil here. Jeff hits a slingshot springboard moonsault for two followed by Poetry in Motion to crush Christian in the corner. Matt takes forever to cover and brings in Jeff for a senton (not yet the Swanton) Bomb for two.

Edge makes the save and allows Christian to hit a double reverse DDT to set up the hot tag. Everything breaks down and it’s Edge and Jeff running the barricades to set up a spear in midair. Christian dives onto them both followed by Matt mostly missing a moonsault to take everyone else out. Back in and Edge pulls Matt off the top, setting up a top rope elbow to give Christian the pin.

The third team in is Mideon/Viscera and the big man is starting with Christian. Viscera hits a quick Samoan drop for no cover and it’s off to Mideon for a double elbow drop. A knee drop gets two but Christian avoids a middle rope elbow. Off to Edge who speeds things up but gets drilled by a spinwheel kick (again it barely connected but it’s more excusable with Viscera). Edge avoids a charging big man and a double shoulder puts Viscera outside. Mideon is speared down for the pin.

Droz/Prince Albert (Tensai) are the fourth team and it’s Albert quickly throwing Edge into the corner. JR gets on Jerry for not knowing anything about Albert but Lawler makes a great point: “Look at him and you know everything you need to know.” Albert gets two off a neckbreaker as the announcers argue whether football careers matter in wrestling (Hint: most of the time they don’t). Christian chop blocks Albert and the Downward Spiral sends Edge and Christian to the next match.

The Acolytes are here before the three count and it’s Bradshaw working over Edge to start. Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker and a missile dropkick as JR is whiny because Lawler pointed out how stupid the football stats were. Bradshaw powerbombs Edge out of the corner for two and it’s off to Faarooq. ANOTHER spinwheel kick barely connects (the production staff isn’t on their game tonight) but Bradshaw gets a tag before Christian does.

A belly to back suplex gets two for Bradshaw and it’s back to Faarooq for more basic power offense. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the Faarooq spinebuster sets up an arrogant cover for two. Edge gets up for a DDT and it’s a double tag to Christian and Bradshaw. Everything breaks down and Christian gets two off a tornado DDT. Edge drops Christian onto Bradshaw as the Hollys come out before the pin. The distraction lets Bradshaw kill Christian with the Clothesline to get us down to the final two teams.

Faarooq hits a quick Dominator on Crash but Hardcore makes the save. The cousins get in an argument over who gets to fight Faarooq but it’s the Acolytes getting to beat up Hardcore. It’s back to Crash who has no effect on Faarooq so the announcers bicker some more to entertain us. Hardcore finally gets the tag and dropkicks Faarooq, triggering a brawl between the cousins. Faarooq hits a quick spinebuster on Hardcore for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This match had the same issues that almost all gauntlet matches have: if these teams can get wins this fast, why don’t they do it all the time? The matches are just quick segments instead of actual matches with the longest being a slightly longer version of a TV match. However there was hope on the horizon as Edge and Christian and the Hardys would have a rematch with ladders in two months. Also, a team is coming from Dudleyville in about two weeks. The magic approaches.

The Hollys fight again.

Big Show and Undertaker arrive.

Al Snow grooms his dog Pepper and warns him of Boss Man singing Ethel Merman songs. Good advice actually.

Road Dogg comes out to watch the next match. He wants a shot at the Hardcore Title tomorrow night but here’s the brand new Chris Jericho to interrupt him. He’s on a raised platform in front of the crowd and this is his PPV debut. Jericho is disappointed in this whole show. He can’t believe it but Raw is Snore has been topped by Summersham. The people here have been conned into paying for it and now they look like fools.

Jericho rips on the roster and says the worst is standing in the ring right now. No one cares about Roadie and his spelling. If Dogg wants to be impressive, spell lugubrious. He makes fun of Dogg’s clothes and haircut and says DX sure sucks. Road Dogg tells him to shut up and Jericho is SHOCKED. Dogg’s mama cares about him but he’s not sure if he should do the catchphrase because Jericho might take him up on it.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man is defending and Dogg is doing commentary. Before the match Snow leaves Pepper in a small kennel in the back. Snow: “You know Head came to the ring with me.” Snow is waiting on Boss Man on the set and hits a high cross body to get us going. Dogg gets up and is going to be a roving reporter. Snow hits Man with a chair and they go to the back almost immediately.

Boss Man comes back with right hands and breaks a chalkboard over Snow’s head. Pepper’s case goes upside Snow’s head but Snow hits him with the board. Boss Man steals a crutch to blast Snow in the back before sending him into the Pepsi machine. Snow avoids the falling machine and throws Boss Man into the side of an SUV. They open a garage door and head outside before going across the street to a bar.

They’re fighting in front of the door and a superkick gets two for Snow. Snow is thrown through the patio furniture for two and we head inside. A shot with the Yellow Pages puts Snow down but he gets up to hit on some chick. Snow hits him with a magazine rack and they slug it out with broomsticks.

We hit the restroom for the required “comedy” spot with Boss Man taking soap in the eye. A beer to Boss Man’s face slows him down and Snow chokes him with a chain. Snow moonsaults him through a table but Boss Man is up first. They head into the pool hall and Boss Man hits Dogg with a drink. Roadie comes back with a nightstick shot to give Snow the title in an abrupt ending.

Rating: C. This is one of the more famous hardcore matches and it’s pretty harmless goofy fun. The division was at its peak here but the 24/7 Rule was coming to make it a total parody. It was less than eight minutes so it’s hard to really complain about this one. Yeah it’s bad but it’s completely harmless for the most part.

Snow runs back across the street to check on Pepper but has to beat up Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie for some reason.

Jesse warns Mankind about using chairs and how it won’t be allowed, but Mankind would rather talk about Geraldine Ferraro’s electability.

Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Tori

Ivory is defending and Tori is just horrible for the most part. Ivory painted the word slut on Tori a few weeks ago to set this up. Tori charges in and hits a powerslam for two and it’s time for a breather. The crowd is already dead for this and a back elbow gets two for the champion. Tori hits a pair of suplexes and some lame kicks for two. Ivory is loudly calling spots to keep Tori from screwing everything up. The fans chant TAKE IT OFF as Ivory hooks a big swing. Tori comes back with a horrible spear and a middle rope cross body for two. They horribly botch a sunset flip so they do it again with Ivory sitting on Tori for the pin.

Rating: F+. Tori looked good in a bra and tight pants and that’s about it. Seriously, she was TERRIBLE and makes the modern Divas look like ring generals. Ivory was trying out there but she was hardly a miracle worker. Trish would debut soon but wouldn’t get good for about four more years.

Post match Ivory tries to take Tori’s top off but Luna Vachon makes the save, becoming the heel of the segment.

Rock verbally massacres Michael Cole by insulting his tie and implying Cole is a bit coome ci coom ca. Not that it matters as Rock is going to destroy Billy Gunn tonight. This was a bad time for Rock as he had a bunch of nothing feuds until he got back into the title hunt to close out the year.

Billy Gunn has a surprise under a tarp.

We recap Steve Blackman vs. Ken Shamrock. Blackman is recently back from an injury and they’ve been beating each other up for weeks. The result is another Lion’s Den match with weapons hanging from the cage. JR and King do the narration here for some reason.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

This is in the Lion’s Den which is that small cage which is NOT ripping off UFC. Not at all. You win by escape only. Blackman starts with the nunchucks but Shamrock comes back with profanity. Blackman chokes him down but gets caught in an armbar. Ken throws the nunchucks away and rams Blackman into the cage. Shamrock pounds Blackman down and whips him into the cage for a high kick to the head.

Blackman blocks a kendo stick shot and fires off kicks of his own before sending Ken into the cage. An atomic drop puts Shamrock down again and Blackman pounds him in the back with his martial arts sticks. Shamrock gets up and runs the cage wall to ram into Blackman with a kind of elbow to the face. A belly to back suplex puts Blackman down but Ken can’t quite follow up.

Back up and Blackman hits a quick DDT but Shamrock snaps off a powerslam. An enziguri puts Ken down and Steve pounds away with a kendo stick. A big shot to the head puts Ken down but he comes back with a wicked belly to belly to take over. Ken hits Blackman in the head (shoulder) with the stick….and that’s it. No reason is given but I’d assume a knockout, even though the announcers said you had to leave to win.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do anything for me. It was basically a hardcore match in a confined area which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. It’s a far cry from last year’s version with Owen keeping up with Shamrock every step of the way. Granted this is Steve Blackman, a black hole of charisma instead of one of the best of all time. Nothing to see here but it wasn’t horrible.

We see Shane attacking Test earlier today.

Test says this is serious tonight.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a Greenwich street fight with love her or leave her rules. Test is dating Stephanie but Shane doesn’t approve. If Test wins, Shane stays out of their lives but if Shane wins then the relationship ends. Test has bad ribs but Shane has no backup due to Test injuring every member of the Mean Street Posse. Scratch that theory actually as they come walking out before the match. Thanks for wasting my time on the video of Test destroying all of them. The Posse has a couch set for them in the front row.

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

The injured Posse goes after Test and give Shane a mailbox of all things to crack over Test’s head. A street sign stuns Test again and there’s a framed portrait of the Posse shattered over Test’s head. That’s only good for two and the fans are getting into this. Shane does a great looking leapfrog and this a jumping back elbow to the face to put Test down. A corkscrew senton (Spiral Tap) of all things misses and Test comes back with right hands.

Another leapfrog is countered into a sweet powerbomb but Rodney of the Posse distracts the referee. Test’s big boot hits the referee but he clotheslines Shane to the floor. The street sign puts Shane down again but here’s the Posse again to take Test down. They load him onto the announce table so Shane can hit the top rope elbow through Test. For a non-wrestler, Shane can drop a gorgeous elbow.

The referee is back up (why did he need to be bumped? It’s a street fight) but Test kicks out at two. The fans are really getting into this. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a sign but Rodney hits Test with his cast. That’s only good for two and now the fans are fired up. Patterson and Brisco run out to take care of the Posse and make it one on one. Shane charges into the post and it’s a pumphandle slam followed by the flying elbow to get Shane out of Test and Stephanie’s lives.

Rating: B. This took a little bit to get going but the fans got into it at the end. It’s a great example of a story carrying a match rather than the wild brawling. This was full of weapon shots and interference, but the story behind the match made people care about it. The people were invested in Test and wanted to see him fight for the woman he loved. That’s a classic story and it’s going to work every time. Good stuff here.

Stephanie comes out to celebrate post match.

We recap the tag title match. With Vince having been revealed as the Higher Power, Undertaker has been dropped down to an evil tag team with Big Show. They’re challenging X-Pac and Kane, who are in the beginning of a nearly year long story. Pac is Kane’s first real friend and the other monsters hurt him, so Kane wants revenge.

Tag Titles: Kane/X-Pac vs. Big Show/Undertaker

Kane is in the always awesome inverted attire, meaning it’s more black than red. The mash-up of Big Show and Undertaker’s themes really doesn’t work at all. It’s a big brawl to start with Undertaker easily knocking X-Pac to the floor. Kane gets double teamed in the corner but he clotheslines Big Show out to the floor and Pac gets two off a high cross body to Taker. We start with X-Pac against Taker with the big man cranking on the arm. Pac escapes and wisely tags out to give us brother vs. brother.

Taker is knocked to the floor and Pac dives off the apron to take him down. The crotch chop earned X-Pac an elbow to the face and a smile from me. Kane saves him little buddy and take Undertaker down with the top rope clothesline. Taker comes right back with his running DDT but Kane is up almost immediately. Big Show comes in to throw Kane around and drops him with a superkick.

Since this is a battle of the giants it’s time for some choking but we’re not to the bearhug yet. A powerslam gets two on Kane and it’s back to Undertaker to pound away in the corner. They slug it out and both guys go down with a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in X-Pac who catches Undertaker with a spinwheel kick (actually connects) but Big Show pulls the small man down. Everything breaks down and Pac is crotched against the post. Show slams Pac down and drops a knee to his chest. The size difference is remarkable when you see them next to each other.

There’s the bearhug but X-Pac bites his way out of it. A cross between a chokeslam and the Boss Man Slam gets two for Show but Kane breaks up the chokeslam. X-Pac hits Show low and it’s off to Kane to clean house. Everything breaks down again and X-Pac sends Taker into the post. There’s a Bronco Buster to Big Show but he pops up and chokeslams X-Pac down…..for two? Taker is MAD and goes after X-Pac in the corner before ending him with a tombstone for the titles.

Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all. I couldn’t stand X-Pac around this time and this is a great example of why. The whole idea of his character at this point was he wouldn’t give up, which led to him beating a lot of guys FAR bigger than him. I don’t have much of a problem with X-Pac against smaller guys, but when he’s beating people Taker’s size it was very annoying. The match was an extended squash.

Jesse gives Austin the same speech.

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

The loser has to, shall we say, kiss up to the winner. Billy brings a fat chick with him for Rock to kiss if Rock loses. Gunn jumps him to start but Rock comes back with right hands of his own to send Gunn to the floor. They head up the aisle with Billy being sent into a metal barricade. Rock is sent into it as well and clotheslined down as Billy takes over. Rock comes back with a clothesline of his own as they fight by the Lion’s Den. This is really dull stuff so far.

They head back to ringside with Gunn sending him into the steps but being rammed face first into the announce table. Rock puts the King’s crown on Billy’s head for a right hand. Back in and Billy chokes away before getting two off a neckbreaker. Gunn drops an elbow to the chest and gets two off a bulldog.

A Stinger Splash crushes Rock but he explodes out of the corner with a running clothesline. The floatover DDT takes Gunn down but Rock can’t follow up. Rock gets two off a swinging neckbreaker and a Samoan Drop but the Rock Bottom is countered into a Fameasser. The fat woman comes into the ring but Billy goes face first into her. Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow ends this a second later.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? Like I said, Rock was in a funk at this point and going from lame feud to lame feud with nothing for him to work with. I mean, BILLY GUNN is the best they can do for him at Summerslam? The match wasn’t terrible but it was just killing time until the very obvious ending.

We recap the main event. Chyna actually won a #1 contenders triple threat over Undertaker and HHH but HHH went on a power trip, saying it was his shot. Mankind cost HHH a one on one match against Chyna for the shot and then beat Chyna for the title shot himself. HHH attacked Mankind’s leg, leading to a fourth #1 contenders match, resulting in a double pin and a threeway tonight.

Jesse comes out first and says he’s proud to be a wrestler. Here here!

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. Triple H

Triple H and Austin start fast in the ring but Mankind pulls HHH to the floor and sends him onto the announce table. All three head into the ring with HHH being ping ponged back and forth by right hands from both guys. Mankind offers Austin a handshake but gets punched in the face instead. HHH is knocked to the floor and Mankind misses a charge at Austin to send him to the outside as well.

All three are on the floor now with no one having a clear advantage. Austin clotheslines Mankind down before slugging it out with HHH, allowing Chyna (HHH’s manager) to send Mankind into the post. Jesse tries to separate Chyna and Mankind as HHH hits Austin’s bad knee with a chair. Ventura asks the crowd if HHH hit Steve with a chair but doesn’t do anything about it once they say yes. Mankind is back in now but gets pounded down in the corner by HHH.

A quick Mandible Claw slows HHH down but Chyna breaks it up by crotching Mankind on the post. That earns her an ejection and a lecture from Ventura. Austin is back up now and pounding away on HHH in the aisle. They fight back to ringside where Austin’s bad knee is wrapped around the post. A chop block puts Austin down but Mankind is getting back up again. He breaks up a stomping from HHH to Austin, only so he can stomp Austin instead. Now they stomp Austin together to a loud chorus of boos.

HHH puts on a spinning toe hold but breaks up a cover attempt by Mankind, starting a fight between the two of them. HHH is knocked to the floor but Mankind misses a dive off the apron. Austin’s knee is almost wrapped around the post again but Mankind intercept it and brawls with HHH into the crowd. A piledriver on the concrete is broken up and Austin fights HHH again. Everyone heads back inside and there’s a low blow from Austin to HHH.

The Stunner takes down Mankind but HHH breaks it up with a chair shot. Ventura yells at HHH about it before HHH knocks Mankind out with the chair as well. HHH covers Mankind but Jesse isn’t counting a cover off an illegal move like that. Shane runs in to plead HHH’s case but gets Stunned for his efforts. Ventura throws Shane out but HHH and Steve clothesline each other down. Mankind loads up Socko and both guys get a mouthful of it but Austin kicks Mankind low to break it up.

HHH loads up the Pedigree on Mankind but Austin clotheslines HHH down to break it up. Austin punches both of his challengers and hits a Stunner on HHH but Mankind breaks up the count at two. Austin sends Mankind into the post but walks into the Pedigree. Mankind pops back up though and knocks HHH down before hitting the double arm DDT on Austin for the pin and the title in a surprise.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t all that great of a match. At the end of the day it was a pretty slow paced brawl and HHH wasn’t on this level yet. Still though, it wasn’t terrible and Jesse added some good moments to the match. This wouldn’t wind up meaning much for reasons I’ll get into in a bit. It’s a nice moment though.

Post match HHH destroys Austin and his knee with a chair, putting him on the shelf for a month.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is a product of the times and political issues kept it from having the big moment it was looking for. HHH was scheduled to win the title to end the show but Jesse didn’t want to raise a heel’s hand to end the show. The title change would take place the next night on Raw and HHH would have his first title defense on a new show called Smackdown later this week. The show is totally forgettable though with only the street fight and the main event being notable at all. Not worth seeing but there are worse shows.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. D’Lo Brown

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Tag Team Turmoil

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Big Boss Man vs. Al Snow

Original: B

Redo: C

Ivory vs. Tori

Original: F

Redo: F+

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Shane McMahon vs. Test

Original: B

Redo: B

Unholy Alliance vs. X-Pac/Kane

Original: D+

Redo: D

Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

Original: B-

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Original: B+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: D+

WOW and I thought 1990 was screwed up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/03/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1999-the-body/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re finally here, as I took such a long break from the 2008 cycle that this show is something like a year in the making for me. It’s a weirdly structured show, as there are three Championship Scramble matches for the big titles, but the real main event is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in an unsanctioned match. That story has been carrying the story this year so let’s get to it.

The opening video takes a quick look at the Scramble matches before moving on to Jericho vs. Michaels, with WWE pretty openly acknowledging that it is the biggest match on the show.

For the sake of simplicity, here are the Scramble rules:

• 20 minute time limit

• Two people start, with another of the five total entrants entering every five minutes

• Anyone scoring a pinfall/submission (it does NOT have to be on the champion) becomes the “current” champion

• Whoever is the “current” champion when time expires leaves as champion

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Mark Henry

Henry is defending and Matt Hardy is in at #1 while The Miz is in at #2. Hardy grinds away on a headlock to start and seems to have a lot to say to Miz, who reverses into a headlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits the corner clothesline but the bulldog is countered. Instead Hardy pulls him out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two and another clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miz gets in a shot from behind, setting up the chinlock. Hardy gets out and grabs a sunset flip for two but Miz Reality Checks him out to the floor. That gets a rather delayed two back inside and it’s Guerrero in at #3.

Guerrero wastes no time in knocking Miz down and hitting a frog splash to pin Hardy and become current champion (remember: Miz does NOT have to take the fall for someone to become current champion). Hardy fights back and knocks Miz outside, followed by an elbow for two on Guerrero. Miz is back up as well and hits a high crossbody onto both of them for two on Hardy. Hardy drops Miz though and the Side Effect to Guerrero makes Hardy current champion. The chinlock slows Miz down (not a move you expect to see in a match like this) and it’s Henry in at #4.

The triple teaming does not work very well as Henry tosses all of them away, followed by a gorilla press drop to Hardy. The World’s Strongest Slam to Guerrero makes Henry current champion as the dominance continues. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate and gets knocked to the floor, followed by Henry grabbing a bearhug on Guerrero. That’s switched to a bearhug on Hardy, who is mostly done as Finlay is in at #5 to complete the field.

Finlay wastes no time in kicking away at Henry, followed by a DDT for two. Henry shrugs that off and grabs another bearhug, which draws in Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay shillelaghs Henry and gets Hardy to help toss him out. A quick Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay current champion with about 3:45 to go.

Miz missile dropkicks Finlay down but gets caught with the Twist of Fate to make Hardy current champion with 3:19 to go. Hardy turns to look at Henry but has to break up a cover as Guerrero frog splashes Miz (whose eye is busted open). Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero with Hardy making the save.

The same thing happens to Finlay, leaving Henry to break up Miz’s rollup on Hardy. Guerrero gets pulled into a World’s Strongest Slam for two with Hardy making the save at 1:30 to go. Henry kicks Finlay down, making him drop Hardy at the same time. Hardy is back up to save Miz from Henry’s splash with 1:00 to go. Hardy keeps playing defense and no one can get a pin, with Hardy managing to run out the clock and become the champion.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once the clock came on screen and the desperation started to build, this got very entertaining in a hurry. The idea of anyone being able to take the fall boosts this WAY up, as otherwise it would have been Hardy running away for the last few minutes. It was a really fun way to introduce the concept and I ha d a good time with it.

Matt Hardy runs into Jeff Hardy in the back and says it’s time for the Hardys to both be champions.

We get a poll question of whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show into the Smackdown Scramble. Odd question to ask.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Rhodes and DiBiase are defending after having Cryme Tyme steal the belts, though Rhodes and DiBiase stole them back, rendering the whole thing a waste of time. JTG starts with some dropkicks and Shad clotheslines the champs to the floor. A big dive connects as well and JTG takes over back inside.

DiBiase fights up and is promptly powerslammed down by Shad. It’s back to JTG who chases Rhodes outside, allowing DiBiase to get in a clothesline to take over. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before working on the arm to change things up a bit. DiBiase comes back in for a nice dropkick and his own kick to the arm.

JTG suplexes his way to freedom but Rhodes is in to cut Shad off in time. The armbar goes on again before Rhodes goes up top, only to get pulled down for a crash. That’s enough to make the tag off to Shad to clean house. DiBiase’s suplex gets two, with Shad’s foot getting on the rope. The G9 is loaded up but Rhodes slips out. JTG grabs a small package but DiBiase turns it over so Rhodes can get the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much that could be done here and they couldn’t really find a way around the problem. The titles do not feel overly important and that dragged down anything they could have done. The champs getting their belts back before the match took away the limited interest they had in the first place and it was downhill from there.

Post match the brawl is on again but a Samoan comes in to help Rhodes and DiBiase, setting up the triple pose.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been feuding for months and Jericho had Michaels ready to retire over an eye injury. Jericho wouldn’t stand for that though and they insulted each other, resulting in Jericho accidentally punching Michaels’ wife. Jericho blamed Michaels, who swore vengeance, setting up an unsanctioned match here. This has been the best story in WWE in a long time and this is the real main event of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Unsanctioned so anything goes and Michaels is in street clothes, with his injured arm heavily bandaged. Michaels starts fast and hammers away, including some shots to the face with a belt. They go outside and over the barricade, with Michaels busting Jericho’s nose open. Jericho gets posted but avoids a chair shot and it’s time for the first table.

A table shot to the back crushes Michaels and he gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Jericho chairs him down and the chair is wedged in the corner (that’s never a good idea). Jericho’s whip is reversed into the post though and Michaels gets a breather. They fight over a suplex from the apron through a table on the floor before Michaels takes him back inside for the running forearm.

The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music is loaded up, but Jericho collapses. Michaels isn’t waiting and hammers him down into the crossface but Jericho gets out again. Jericho starts going after the bad eye until Michaels gets in a shot of his own. The upside down whip in the corner (into the chair) just seems to re-energize Michaels, who is back with a Thesz press. Jericho gets up and pulls him into the Walls but the ropes mean nothing for Michaels.

Instead he finds a well placed fire extinguisher and sprays his way to freedom. An extinguisher shot to the face rocks Jericho again and they fight on the ramp, where Lance Cade comes out to help Jericho. Some shots to the bad arm, including one around the post, have Michaels in big trouble. Jericho goes to the eye and then back to the arm before the chair is brought back in. Cade holds the arm so Jericho can smash it with the chair, only for Michaels to break up the Pillmanizing.

One heck of a chair to the head knocks Jericho off the top and through the table at ringside for the big crash. Michaels unloads with the chair and puts Cade on the announcers’ table…but stops to kick Jericho some more. Jericho is stacked onto Cade and the top rope elbow drives both of them through the table. Michaels is all fired up and whips Jericho with the belt, including a hard shot to the eye. Michaels ties up Jericho’s arms and just unloads with left hands to the head until his own arm gives out. The referee pulls him off but Michaels is back on Jericho. It’s broken up again and the referee calls the match as Jericho is out.

Rating: A-. The most important part of this match is that they sold the story they were telling. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and Michaels was for himself and his family. I bought into what they were doing and if they had gotten just a bit more intense (and by that I mean some blood), it would be even better. Either way, absolutely outstanding match here that actually got close to living up to the incredible hype.

Post match Michaels can’t help himself and beats up Jericho even more. The referee drags Michaels off and gets superkicked, leaving Michaels shaking. More referees come out to protect Jericho as Michaels composes himself. The look on Michaels’ face is PERFECT, as he clearly hates Jericho but also hates himself for letting it go that far. That boosts things up even more.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase introduce Randy Orton to their new friend Manu, the son of Afa. Manu says Orton can knock all of the other champions on Raw but these two are a different class. Orton says congratulations and says it was dumb luck. Go watch a replay of the match and then tell him what they did that deserves praise. They shouldn’t be proud.

Smackdown World Title: The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

HHH is defending, Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Shelton Benjamin is in at #2. They trade rollups to start until Benjamin takes him down into a headlock. With that broken up, Benjamin grabs a suplex into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and Kendrick is in at #3.

Benjamin tries to suplex Hardy off the apron but Kendrick breaks it up and covers Hardy for two. With Benjamin down, Hardy avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Twist Of Fate to become current champion. Benjamin is back in to knee Hardy into the corner but misses another splash. Hardy tries a sunset flip (possibly forgetting the rules, which is fine) for two but Paydirt gives Benjamin two more with Kendrick making the save. The Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin on Hardy to make him current champion.

MVP is in at #4 and kicks Hardy to the floor before backdropping Kendrick out with him. Benjamin and MVP slug it out until Kendrick comes back in with some kicks to the face. Benjamin Samoan drops Kendrick and everyone is down as HHH is in at #5 to complete the field, meaning we have less than five minutes to go. HHH fires off the clotheslines to start fast and hits a Pedigree to pin Kendrick and become current champion with 4:11 to go. Benjamin sends HHH outside though and into the steps, leaving Hardy to give MVP the Twist Of Fate to become current champion with 3:05 to go.

Kendrick comes after Hardy and gets gordbustered but HHH crotches Hardy on top. The Pedigree gives HHH the pin on Kendrick with 2:05 to go but Hardy Swantons Kendrick for the pin to become current champion with 1:53 to go. Hardy sends HHH outside and hits a big flip dive and everyone is down with 1:10 to go. With HHH and Hardy outside, the other three hit a Tower Of Doom with MVP being in the best place. Hardy is back in for a Whisper In The Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Benjamin…but HHH comes in to Pedigree and pin MVP and retain the title as time expires.

Rating: C+. The problem here was the lack of drama for the most part, as while the opener had five people you could see walking out with the title, this was ALL about HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and nothing more. The other three were just warm bodies, which is a shame as this is the kind of match where you could do some good teasing of a surprise winner. Kendrick felt that way for all of a minute before it turned into the HHH/Hardy show. After that, nothing else mattered and the ending, while timed very well, didn’t come off as exciting as much as one of the two realistic winners winning.

Shawn Michaels isn’t used to not going to the hospital after a pay per view. His family is going to see the look on his face and know what he did. He’s content, but he’s not satisfied. If he had his way, he would do everything he did to Jericho every night for the rest of his life. Jericho has awoken something inside of him that he isn’t sure if he can control and isn’t sure if he wants to. The worst is yet to come.

Randy Orton interrupts CM Punk and calls him a fluke. Cue Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to beat Punk down. Kofi Kingston makes a failed save attempt and Orton punts Punk out cold.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

McCool is defending and starts fast with a wristdrag out of the corner, though she comes up favoring her knee. Maryse bails to the floor so McCool follows, with Maryse sending her over the barricade. Back in and Maryse takes out the knee and starts cranking away, including tying the leg in the ropes. Maryse stops to flip her hair though, allowing McCool to kick her in the face for two. A big boot and a sitout gordbuster retain McCool’s title.

Rating: C-. I feel bad for these two. The match itself was just ok at best and honestly not that good, though they used a fine story of McCool hurting her leg and Maryse working on it. That’s totally acceptable, even if the match was decent for the most part. The problem continues to be the way the entire division is presented, as you had McCool’s Titantron featuring her getting out of a pool and Tazz calling them “the sexiest women on television.” It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re being treated as eye candy and they had been putting in the work to get better. That’s not fair on them and it took a long time to overcome.

Here is Raw GM Mike Adamle, who announces that CM Punk may not be able to compete, so he might have to find a suitable replacement. Either way, there will be a five man Championship Scramble.

Here is the Big Show for an unscheduled chat. Show: “HI!” He gets right to the point: if Adamle needs a replacement for the Scramble, look no further than him. Show plugs the Smackdown Your Vote campaign and brings up the poll from earlier about whether or not he should have been in the Scramble, with 77% saying yes. We get a quick audience poll, with the fans seemingly wanting him in the match and that’s it…until Vickie Guerrero interrupts.

She calls him a big dumb giant and doesn’t like being insulted, so now he will deal with the “circumstances”. Show needs to get out of the ring but hold on because we’ve got druids (Show finds this hilarious). They bring a coffin to the ring and Undertaker pops up on screen to talk about the rather specific way he wants to kill Guerrero and send her to H***. Vickie tries to leave but Show holds her in place as Undertaker slowly (of course) comes to the ring. She even gets outside but Show throws her back inside as Undertaker opens the casket and gets inside the ring.

The jacket and hat come off as Show is still holding Vickie in place. Undertaker shakes his head at her and grabs Vickie by the throat….and Show KO Punches him. Show massacres Undertaker and it keeps going for a good while, with Show hitting another two KO Punches. Vickie gets in a slap and spits in Undertaker’s face before the villains leave. This went on WAY too long, though minor points for having Show’s turn feel like a surprise (or as close as it could be given how telegraphed it was when he was still out there).

We recap Randy Orton and CM Punk getting into it on Raw, leading to Orton attacking Punk earlier tonight. Ignore how much the replay reveals that it was a shin to the general vicinity of the head rather than a punt.

William Regal tries to get into the Scramble but Mike Adamle says there is still a chance Punk wrestles.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk is defending (in theory), Batista is in at #1 and JBL is in at #2. Batista powers him into the corner to start but gets forearmed back. JBL does some horribly blatant spot calling before getting his whip reversed into the corner. A sleeper is broken up with a shinbreaker and Batista grabs a Figure Four so we get the required Ric Flair reference. That’s broken up and they go outside, with Batista sending him into the steps.

Kane is in at #3 and it seems that the clock is speeding up. Batista wastes no time with a clothesline but Kane is right back up with a big boot. The basement dropkick gets two on Batista and the side slam sets up the missed top rope clothesline. JBL is back in but misses the Clothesline From JBL, meaning it’s a chokeslam to make Kane the current champion. Back up and Kane stays on Batista until Rey Mysterio is in at #4.

Mysterio gets to clean house until Kane cuts him off in the corner. Batista breaks that up and we get the splash off Batista’s shoulders onto Kane to give Mysterio two. They try it again but this time Mysterio rolls Batista up for two, which might not have been the brightest move. Mysterio points out that Batista covered Kane after the splash but JBL is back up to drop both of them. JBL’s fall away slam sends Mysterio onto Batista (that was clever) but the clock is up….and Chris Jericho is in at #5.

Jericho can barely move on the way to the ring and there are some NASTY welts on his back. Batista cuts Kane off and gives him a powerslam as we’re down to four minutes left with Jericho coming in and getting speared down. A bad 619 hits Kane’s ribs and Batista adds a big boot for two. Batista breaks up a springboard from Mysterio and drops Kane for two more. Kane is back up with the top rope clothesline for his own near fall.

A spear cuts Kane off with less than a minute to go and a spinebuster makes Batista current champion with 35 seconds left. Batista realizes he has to play defense for a bit and cuts off Mysterio’s springboard with a powerbomb. Jericho sneaks in and steals the pin on Kane for the pin with seven seconds left. Batista, apparently COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PINNING THE MAN HE JUST POWERBOMBED INTO OBLIVION, stares at Jericho until time expires.

Rating: C+. I didn’t hate it, but at the end of the day, the second Jericho came out, you knew the ending. There was no way around that and at the end of the day, it was a countdown to Jericho stealing the pin. Other than that, you had what you would expect from these guys as it was just waiting to see if Punk would be in there or not. They didn’t hide where they were going, but dang Jericho getting the title is a nice twist given how everything else has been lately on Raw.

Overall Rating: B. The opener and Jericho vs. Michaels are more than good enough to carry this thing, though that twist at the end makes the main event feel that much better. It was a very tricky show to navigate with so many people tied up in the three Scrambles, but Jericho and Michaels is excellent and lived up to the hype. Very good show here, and if one of the other two Scrambles was better, it would have gone even higher.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 5, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s finally the last show before Unforgiven and that means we aren’t likely to be in for the most thrilling show. Other than the World Title situation, Undertaker is still mad at Vickie Guerrero, which means we could be in for a lot of more spooky stuff which leads nowhere. Hopefully we have something better than last week, which was dreadful. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vickie Guerrero being scared of Undertaker, who is swearing vengeance. Vickie has begged for forgiveness but Undertaker doesn’t seem agreeable.

Opening sequence.

Here is HHH to get things going. He explains the concept of the Championship Scramble, which sounds like something you order at Denny’s at 3am. Now he’s never been great at math, but he has about a 15-20% chance of keeping his title but here is Shelton Benjamin to interrupt. Benjamin talks about what it is going to take to retain the title and he is the gold standard when it comes to talent.

We see a clip of Benjamin laying HHH out last week, though HHH points out that it came after HHH beat him. HHH calls him a good cheap shot artist and invites him to come try his luck face to face. Cue MVP to interrupt, saying he’s better than HHH, Benjamin and “the Charismatic Enigma” (MVP: “Whatever that means.”). MVP and Benjamin argue but HHH asks how long they’ve been in this company.

HHH says this is the week before a pay per view so he comes to the ring to talk about defending his title at the pay per view. HHH: “That’s called a promo.” He then explains what is supposed to happen: While he’s doing his “promo” (yes he does the finger quotes), these guys interrupt him and talk a bunch of trash that they know they can’t back up.

HHH then proceeds to insult them and their families or something like that, leading to them attempting to beat him up. Then he fights back, sending them running off to the back and we don’t see them the rest of the night. That’s a very simple formula but apparently it isn’t ringing a bell to them. HHH: “I swear to you, I am going to be champion for like the next century.”

Cue The Brian Kendrick, who gets decked, and Ezekiel Jackson, who offers a distraction so Kendrick can kick HHH down. MVP and Benjamin run in for the beatdown but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save. Jackson breaks up the Swanton but HHH is back up with a chair, which just annoys Jackson a bit. The slightly less serious promos continue around here and they continue to be father funny.

Bam Neely vs. R-Truth

Chavo Guerrero is here with Neely. R-Truth armdrags him to start but gets driven into the corner so Neely can hammer away. The neck crank doesn’t last long for Neely as R-Truth fights up and hits the jumping kick to the face. The spinning forearm and the top rope missile dropkick connect, setting up the ax kick for the fast pin on Neely.

Here is Undertaker (with Peacock cutting off his entrance) to say that he won’t forgive Vickie Guerrero. Instead he plans to kill her, put her in a coffin and light it on fire so she’ll be in H*** with her husband Edge. Then the lights go out and Undertaker disappears.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Before his entrance, Benjamin pops up on screen to talk about how precious gold is, but he is even more precious. Both of them seem freaked out over Undertaker vanishing and keep looking over their shoulder as they come to the ring. They go straight to the brawling, with MVP getting the better of the slugout on the mat. Benjamin knocks him to the floor though and MVP teases leaving, only to deck Benjamin for coming to get him. Back in and Benjamin jumps over him but MVP scores with a running big boot. Benjamin shrugs that off though and grabs Paydirt for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Benjamin winning is fine and in this case it has a bit of a build towards the title match at Unforgiven. I like the idea of mixing things up a bit here, which you don’t get very often with heel vs. heel matches. It lets things feel a bit fresher, and that is something that is often welcome after seeing the same people rotated against each other.

Maryse insults Maria’s hand made gear, saying we don’t want a wardrobe malfunction tonight. Maryse’s gear is custom made and Maria might not have the curves to fit into them.

Maria vs. Maryse

Maria charges at her to start and the brawl is on, with the two of them heading outside. Maryse hits a clothesline to take over, followed by a backbreaker for two back inside. A catapult sends Maria throat first into the ropes and Maria flips over for a reverse chinlock. Back up and Maria snaps off a running headscissors but misses a high crossbody. The DDT gives Maryse the quick pin.

Post match Michelle McCool comes out to stare Maryse down.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Jeff Hardy

Ezekiel Jackson is here with Kendrick. Hardy starts fast by hammering him down in the corner but Kendrick gets in a kick to the back of the head. Kendrick grabs something close to a dragon sleeper, followed by another kick to the head for another two. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Hardy avoids a charge into the corner. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick and hits a sitout gordbuster to plant Kendrick again. An Alley Oop gets two and they head outside, where Jackson gets in a cheap shot by sending Hardy into the barricade. Back in and the Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin.

Rating: B-. These guys worked well together and Kendrick’s rather surprising push continues. What matters the most is that he feels like enough of a wildcard that he has to be watched on Sunday. The more options there are to leave with the title the better and this helped Kendrick get closer to that spot.

Vickie Guerrero arrives and is livid at a wheelchair waiting on her, as she did NOT order it. Now get these cars out of her way! The cars are not in her way.

Super Crazy vs. Ryan Braddock

Crazy kicks him down to start and the fans seem to approve. Back up and Braddock hits a shot to the back of the head, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Crazy hits the moonsault for the fast pin.

Post match here is Vladimir Kozlov to drop Crazy and demand better competition. Cue the Big Show to mock his own lack of action lately, but he’s feeling a little competitive too. They’re both ready to go but here is Vickie Guerrero to tell Kozlov to get out. Vickie tells Show to get out as well, or face indefinite suspension.

With no one else in the ring, Vickie talks about Undertaker, saying she has lifted his suspension and even apologized. She will no longer be a victim because she has been through so much in her life. Therefore at Unforgiven, she will get what she wants: an apology from Undertaker. Without Edge or someone to fight for her, this is really not working.

Brie Bella vs. Victoria

Victoria starts fast and grinds her down with a headlock. That’s broken up and Bella pulls on both arms before sending Victoria outside. Victoria rams her into the apron and they go back inside, where Victoria sends her right back outside. Brie crawls underneath the ring again and is out the other side rather quickly, setting up the rollup to pin Victoria again. Must be grabbing a Gatorade or something under there.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention and want you to vote.

Raw Rebound, again all about Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels.

Unforgiven rundown.

HHH is asked about his matches tonight and on Sunday, with the question being about his greatest concern. HHH: “Right now, probably global warming or maybe the economy.” Anyway, he talks about looking your next challenger in the face and here’s Jeff Hardy. HHH isn’t sure if anyone can complete a thought without being interrupted. Hardy is sorry for interrupting the “promo” and calls himself HHH’s problem at Unforgiven. HHH says Hardy already has two strikes against him and there’s the old saying: three strikes and you’re out of the game. I think the saying actually goes “HHH doesn’t know how baseball works.”

HHH vs. Great Khali

Non-title lumberjack match, with the other people in the Scramble as lumberjacks. Khali hits an early clothesline to start and sends HHH outside, where the lumberjacks get in a stomping. We take a break and come back with Khali working on a nerve hold (you knew that was coming).

The elbows in the corner have HHH in more trouble as Tazz actually explains the idea of a lumberjack match. I actually love it when commentary does stuff like that, as it’s something longtime fans know, but what about someone who is watching for the first time? Take ten seconds and clear it up for them.

Anyway, HHH gets knocked outside where the villains jump him, with Hardy going over for the save. Hardy gets taken out and the chokebomb gives Khali two back inside. HHH actually goes up and hits a middle rope shoulder but the lumberjacks pull him outside for another beating. Hardy flip dives onto them for the big save, leaving HHH to hit the spinebuster. The Pedigree is blocked again though and Khali gets the vice grip, which is actually broken up. A headbutt staggers Khali and HHH hits the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C+. These two had an odd chemistry together and this worked well enough. The lumberjacks at least tied into everything else and HHH gets to slay a giant to look like he’s a bigger deal on the way to the title match. That’s all you need out of something like this and it was still better than the lame battle royals on Raw.

Post match Hardy goes in to help HHH up and then gives him the Twist Of Fate (fans are NOT sure what to make of that) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This had some good enough parts, oddly enough with most of it coming from HHH. The Undertaker/Vickie Guerrero stuff continues to be the most “get this over with” story going, but the stuff with the World Title is holding up well. Most of the action was just ok, but I laughed a lot at the opening promo and the main event worked well enough. Now just nail it at Unforgiven.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Giant Tag Teams
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura, Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Johnny V

It’s another compilation video from the WWE Vault and again, the name kind of speaks for itself. I have no idea what to expect from this one and that should make for something interesting. It’s a concept that doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but it could go well or poorly for any combination. Let’s get to it.

From Sunday Night Heat, February 11, 2001.

Brothers Of Destruction vs. Kai En Tai

Kane wrecks both of them to start and suplexes Taka. A one armed chokeslam gets two, with Funaki making a rather cruel save. Undertaker chokeslams some sense into Funaki and stereo Last Rides (well just a regular powerbomb in Kane’s case) finish at 1:40.

From WCW Saturday Night, June 19, 1993.

Masters Of The Powerbomb vs. Kip Abee/Terry Travis

That would be Vader and Sid Vicious. Vader chokeslams Abee to start and it’s off to Sid to kick Travis in the corner. A clothesline takes Travis’ head off and Sid’s powerbomb finishes at 1:16.

From Superstars, October 19, 1991.

Natural Disasters vs. Barry Hardy/Duane Gill/Jim Arnon

Earthquake takes Hardy into the corner to start. Piper: “HARDY! GO FOR HIS EYES!” McMahon: “Family entertainment here.” Piper, in a much quieter voice: “Grab his wrist and try to make him give up.” Savage: “GRAB HIS EYES!” Gill gets taken into the corner and everything breaks down with the triple splash crushing the jobbers. The powerslam into the Earthquake into the Typhoon splash finishes Arnon at 2:51.

From Armageddon 2006.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

This is what I love about these collections: you have a bunch of squash matches and then a pay per view semi main event out of nowhere. It’s such a random collection. Show shoves Batista down to start and then does it again for a bonus. Some right hands and running clotheslines do a bit better for Batista and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Show. A running shoulder puts Show down but he shoves Batista away without much trouble. The chokeslam is broken up so Show settles for a big boot instead. It’s off to Kane who actually gets suplexed for a fast two.

Back up and Kane hits the side slam on Batista but Batista slams him off the top to cut off the big clothesline. Mysterio comes in to pick up the pace but his kick to the face just annoys Kane. The right hands in the corner don’t do much either so Mysterio tries a middle rope ax handle. A springboard missile dropkick looks to set up a 619 but Show offers a distraction. Batista cuts him off but Show is right there again to cut off another 619 attempt.

The ram into the post has Mysterio down again and Show casually throws him back inside. Show kicks Batista’s offer of a tag away and then drops Mysterio with a loud chop. Kane pulls Mysterio out of the air but gets put down with the sitout bulldog. Batista has to break up the double chokeslam and everything breaks down. The spear cuts Kane down and Mysterio adds the basement dropkick. Batista hits the spinebuster before tackling Show over the announcers’ table. Back in and the 619 hits Kane, who pulls the West Coast Pop out of the air. The chokeslam finishes Mysterio at 8:06.

Rating: C+. That’s the logical way for this to end, as there wasn’t much that Mysterio could do against that kind of power. Batista was holding his own in there for as long as he could but ultimately Show and Kane were dominant monsters for a reason. It wasn’t much more than a Smackdown main event but it did its job fairly well.

From (I believe) Wrestling Challenge, January 22, 1989.

Twin Towers vs. ???/???

Boss Man powers one of them into the corner and chokes on the ropes as we get an insert promo from Slick, praising the Towers. Akeem comes in and beats up the other jobber before Boss Man hits a hard clothesline. A double back elbow hits one of them as Monsoon suddenly praises Slick, saying he’ll have champions soon enough. The Boss Man Slam sets up Air Africa for the pin at 2:02.

From Smackdown, April 27, 2000.

Hollys vs. T&A

Test full nelson slams Hardcore to start but Hardcore is back up to stomp away in the corner. Crash comes in and avoids a charge in the corner as commentary talks about the possibility of Steve Austin being here tonight. A sitout powerbomb gives Test two as the Dudley Boyz are watching in the back. Albert’s splash misses and Hardcore comes back in for the dropkick. Crash tags himself back in though (drawing the ELROY chants) and misses his own splash. Test boots Hardcore down and the gorilla press from Albert sets up the top rope elbow to finish Crash at 3:17.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but then again, T&A were little more than a vehicle for Trish Stratus (that worked well enough). It’s easy to forget how many teams were around in this era as Edge and Christian and the Hardys and the Dudleys get so much attention. Both of these teams were totally decent most of the time and this could have been better with some extra time.

From Armageddon 2007.

CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

This was during the ECW Champion CM Punk Fights A Bunch Of Monsters period. Henry shoves Punk down to start and, after shrugging off some kicks to the leg, does it again. Kane comes in to uppercut away at Henry, followed by a running dropkick to the knee. It’s back to Punk for a dropkick but Henry runs him over with ease.

V comes in so Punk strikes away, which goes as well as you would expect. Matt Striker gets in a cheap shot to Punk on the floor before it’s back to Henry for a gorilla press. Back up and Punk avoids a charge in the corner, allowing Kane to come in for the running corner clotheslines. Kane has to fight out of the wrong corner but walks into V’s sitout chokebomb for two.

The splash to the back sets up what would become the Visagra before it’s back to Henry for the bearhug. Henry powers him back into the corner but Kane manages a running DDT for a needed breather. Punk comes back in to strike away at V, with the running knee in the corner rocking him hard. Kane and Henry fight up the aisle, leaving Punk to springboard into a Samoan drop to give V the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. Yeah this didn’t quite work, though there is only so much you can get out of this idea. At the end of the day, V is fairly limited in what he can do and Henry is only so much better. They played up the idea of Punk trying to fight the monsters but being in over his head physically, which is what caught him in the end. Kane was doing his thing, but there were limits to what you could do here.

From Championship Wrestling, August 9, 1986.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Frankie Lane/Brickhouse Brown

Brown goes after Studd to start and gets cut off with as much effort as you would expect. A bearhug goes on as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan, mocking Captain Lou Albano for writing a book. Bundy comes in and drives Brown into the corner for the tag to Lane. Everything breaks down and Lane is bounced off the giants. The Avalanche finishes (for a five count) at 3:15.

Rating: C. There is something fun about a team like Bundy and Studd, who are the definition of “what you see is what you get”. They’re big guys, they beat people up, and they don’t move a lot. Neither guy is trying to do anything more than the basics and yet it works rather well.

From Raw, September 30, 2002.

3 Minute Warning vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Rico is here with 3 Minute Warning. It’s a brawl to start and Booker elbows Rosey down for an early two. Jamal comes in to take over on Goldust, who can’t fight out of the wrong corner. Some clubberin keeps Goldust in trouble and Booker gets knocked off the apron. Goldust finally gets over for the tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned.

Everyone else is down so Booker busts out the Spinarooni, setting up the ax kick to Jamal. Rosey is late with the save so the referee has to pull up on the count in a pretty bad look. Rico superkicks Goldust and Booker gets planted, setting up Jamal’s top rope splash for the pin on Booker (why yes, this is in Booker’s hometown of Houston) at 6:34.

Rating: C. Nice enough in-ring debut here for 3 Minute Warning, who had been attacking a variety of people and now get a win over a popular team. The fact that it was over Booker in his hometown shouldn’t be surprising whatsoever, as that is just kind of what the company does. Either way, it could have been far worse and we got a fine debut.

From Summerslam 1998.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is the four man version of Kai En Tai, with Yamaguchi-San in their corner. Unfortunately the Oddities’ entrance, featuring a live performance by the Insane Clown Posse, is cut out, meaning no Kurrgan dancing. Golga (Earthquake under a mask) cleans house to start and steals Yamaguchi’s shoe.

Kurrgan comes in and shoves all four of them away to break up a quadruple team. Yamaguchi gets sent inside while Kurrgan dances on the floor. The Giant Silva (7’2) comes in and scares Kai En Tai off as this is not the most serious match. All four of them go after Silva and get nowhere so he stacks all four of them into the same corner for a big hip attack. Kai En Tai is knocked outside, leaving Silva to just walk around for a bit.

Golga comes in for the powerslam that could only come from Earthquake. A double dropkick staggers Golga and they manage a double slam, followed by a series of top rope splashes. The rapid fire elbows keep Golga down but he’s back up with a quadruple clothesline (you don’t see that one very often). Kurrgan comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luna Vachon slamming Yamaguchi. A double double chokeslam sets up a quadruple splash to pin Kai En Tai at 10:11.

Rating: C-. I have an unnatural fondness for the Oddities, with Kurrgan’s dancing being my ultimate guilty pleasure in wrestling. That being said, having this go on for ten minutes was insane, as there was no need for it to go even half that long. It’s a situation where getting in and getting out would have been a better way to go and the length dragged almost all of the fun out of the thing.

Overall Rating: C+. Again, this was fun. The biggest thing I get out of these collections is that some long time fans are running this channel. Rather than having a bunch of matches from the last ten years and a token 90s match, they went all over the place and had some fun with the material available. I had fun with this and that’s all you can ask for with something like this, as it isn’t exactly a concept that can go incredibly in depth.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: August 29, 2008
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re just over a week away from Unforgiven and as you might have guessed, the big story here is the Championship Scramble. That’s the kind of match that can open up a lot of possibilities and hopefully some of those are teased this week. We could also use some other things to help fill out the card so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Undertaker to get things going, with La Familia watching in the back. Undertaker says Vickie Guerrero wants to be forgiven of her sins but he isn’t the forgiving kind. He will not forget what she did to him and is coming for her soul. Once he has taken it, she will burn.

In the back, La Familia leaves Vickie alone and she’s locked in her dressing room.

R-Truth talks about growing up the hard way and how you can never change your past. The truth is about building a better future every day and now he’s here full time and that’s the truth.

R-Truth vs. Kenny Dykstra

We get a promo from Dykstra, saying he should be getting the attention rather than a convict. Truth hits him in the face and gets two off a rollup but Dykstra drops him with a shot to the face. Back up and Dykstra blocks a suplex, setting up the double arm crank with a knee between the shoulders. That’s broken up and R-Truth hits the spinning forearm into the ax kick for the pin. Truth looked pretty good here, even in a short match.

Michelle McCool is doing a photo shoot when Maryse comes in to suggest she’ll be taking the Divas Title. McCool isn’t impressed and says Maryse will never have the title due to a lack of talent. Which one is the villain again?

Maria/Michelle McCool vs. Natalya/Maryse

Natalya grabs a headlock on McCool to start but gets Russian legsweeped down for two. Maria comes in and gets planted with a slam but avoids a legdrop. Natalya is right back up to bring Maryse in, with a DDT taking Maria out for the rather out of nowhere pin.

Post match the brawl is on between McCool and Maryse, with the two of them brawling to the floor, where Natalya helps Maryse take her out.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. MVP. The two have been feuding for a few weeks now as Hardy wants to be WWE Champion while MVP doesn’t think much of Hardy’s lifestyle. This included bringing up Hardy’s house burning down, which was too far for Hardy. MVP then beat him at Summerslam, and now it’s time for a rematch.

Hardy calls MVP an obstacle on the way to being WWE Champion.

Vickie Guerrero is still stuck in her dressing room but finally realizes she has a phone….which doesn’t work and is thrown against the wall.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

They take their time to start until Hardy pulls him down with a headlock. MVP knocks him to the apron but Hardy is back with a right hand that has a frustrated MVP walking around ringside. Back in and another headlock has MVP frustrated a bit more as Ross suggests Hardy’s offense is surprising him here (because Ross knows how to tell a story on commentary).

Some armdrags into an armbar keeps MVP in trouble but he fights up and stops a charge with an elbow to the face. MVP tries to go after the leg but gets kicked into the post, with Hardy wrapping the arm around it a few times for a bonus. Hardy sends him outside for a running flip dive off the apron and we take a break.

Back with MVP sending him into the corner to get out of another armbar and getting a needed breather. Hardy gets sent into the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up fairly quickly and Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. The Swanton hits raised knees though and a missed dropkick lets MVP bend Hardy’s back around the post.

MVP kicks him down and grabs the camel clutch, sending Hardy over to the ropes. The double arm crank goes on again so Hardy fights back up, earning himself something like a belly to belly. Hardy tries to run the corner but gets knocked down for a nasty crash and two. MVP’s belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody for two, followed by the Whisper In The Wind. The Swanton finishes MVP off.

Rating: B. This turned into a fight as both guys were trying so hard to put the other away. Hardy getting the win is the right way to go to even the score and there is a good chance that they’ll run it back one more time. MVP is someone who can make anyone look better and Hardy is getting closer and closer to the top of the card in a hurry.

Post match Shelton Benjamin runs in to lay out Hardy…and them MVP as well.

Josh Matthews and Candice Michelle are still at the Democratic National Convention. Eh important enough.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Non-title. Festus clears the ring without much trouble to start…and here is the Big Show to jump Hawkins for the DQ in about a minute.

Post match Show wrecks everyone but the off mode Festus, Show says “hi” and promises to never be overlooked again. Last week he didn’t get a qualifying match for the Championship Scramble so he made a little oversight of his own like this one.

Vickie Guerrero is still trapped in her office.

Brie Bella vs. Victoria

This is Brie’s debut. Victoria takes her down with a headlock and isn’t having anything of a leg sweep. A rollup out of the corner gives Brie two and she grabs some flying mares. Back up and Victoria powers her into the corner, setting up a standing moonsault. Brie bails to the floor and climbs underneath the ring, where Victoria pulls her back out. They get inside again and the rather energized Brie gets a small package for the upset pin. Well that was a surprise.

Raw Rebound.

Brian Kendrick, reading a book, talks about how ridiculous it is to see two members of the Championship Scramble facing each other to prepare. Kendrick doesn’t see the point, which is why he is reading the Art Of War. Ezekiel Jackson on the other hand is enjoying something from Dr. Seuss, showing that he is the real genius.

Unforgiven rundown.

Shelton Benjamin talks about the importance of gold and he is the Gold Standard. Gah that really doesn’t work, especially with the golden hair.

HHH vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Benjamin wastes no time in snapping off some armdrags into an armbar and HHH is in early trouble. HHH fights up and takes over on the arm as well, allowing him to drive in some knees. Benjamin tries to get up and gets taken down by the arm again as HHH gets to stay on the arm. The threat of a Pedigree sends Benjamin bailing out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with HHH in trouble and Benjamin dropping him with a neckbreaker. A neck crank has HHH down again and Benjamin switches into a triangle choke. That’s reversed as well but Benjamin reverses a suplex into a neckbreaker, meaning it’s back to the neck crank as Benjamin certainly has a target.

HHH gets up again and avoids a Stinger Splash, setting up a hard clothesline. Benjamin goes up and dives into a powerslam, with HHH grabbing a DDT for two. Back up and Benjamin kicks him in the head for two but walks into a spinebuster. The facebuster connects but here is the Great Khali….who stands there as HHH hits the Pedigree for the win.

Rating: B-. This was a nice technical match with the ending making more sense than I would have expected. Khali showing up normally would make someone freeze but HHH finished the match off as fast as he could. That’s a good way to go and keeps HHH looking strong going into the title match. I could have gone without the US Champion taking a pin, but at least it was to someone higher up in the food chain.

Post match Benjamin hits HHH with the US Title and Khali gives HHH the chokebomb.

The lights go out in Vickie Guerrero’s locker room. She screams and the show ends. Yes, that’s all we got after this show long story.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was in a tough spot as the big title match is already set for the pay per view and there isn’t much that needs to be done. Thankfully the good action was there to help boost it up, but the only big thing all night was the Vickie Guerrero deal, which went absolutely nowhere. I liked the wrestling a good deal, but this was a show that was there because they needed to fill in a spot on the way to Unforgiven.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: April 12, 2001
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 14,626
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This was another request for reasons I don’t exactly remember. We are freshly off Wrestlemania X7 and the big story is the Two Man Power Trip (all four of them) are running roughshod over the company. That is going to create some issues and it is time for someone to fight back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon apologizing to Linda McMahon on Raw, only for Linda to say she wanted a divorce. Like that marriage could ever fall apart. Lita called what Linda did inspiring and got put in a six person tag, teaming with the Hardys against HHH/Steve Austin/Stephanie McMahon. Lita pinned Stephanie and destruction ensued as a result. Austin beating on Lita with a chair and giving her a Stunner are limited to still shots.

Opening sequence.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to get things going, with Steve Austin joining them. HHH talks about how things were pretty great just about a month ago, with The Rock and Chris Jericho as champions and Mick Foley as Commissioner. Now things have changed though, as The Rock is gone and they have taken the titles, just like they wanted to. The Hardys and Lita tried to stand in their way and look what happened.

Everywhere HHH goes or in “the dirt sheets”, he keeps hearing about how they went too far with Lita. The heck with that, because they will tell you when they crossed the line. HHH is that d*** good, Austin is that d*** cold and they are that d*** unstoppable. Eh not sure about that catchphrase. Austin is tired of all the same questions and talks about attacking the Rock at Wrestlemania because he wanted to.

Then Jim Ross asked why Austin did what he did but Austin is tired of Ross riding his coattails. He did it because he could and no one was there to stop him. Then the Hardys tried to do something about it and look what happened. Beating Lita with a chair was the best feeling he has had in a long time and there is no one back there who can stop them. Austin talks about how he could have done that to anyone in the audience but here is Jeff Hardy to lay out all three of them with a chair (Twist of Fate for Stephanie). It was a good, evil promo, but the Hardys felt WAY below these two and it was showing.

Post break, HHH storms into William Regal’s office and demands Jeff Hardy tonight, no matter what it takes.

Spike Dudley vs. Albert

The Dudley Boyz and the rest of X Factor are here and this is the fallout from Albert taking out Spike in a tag match on Raw. Spike forearms away to start and is dropped with a single shot to the face. Albert throws him across the ring (with a great Spike sell) and then drops him face first for the big crash. Spike avoids a charge but gets crotched on top to cut him off. Somehow Spike manages to knock him off the top though and a top rope double stomp connects. The Dudley Dog gets two as everyone starts fighting on the floor. Albert shrugs it off and hits the pump kick for the pin at 2:46.

Post match the Dudleys give Albert What’s Up. The table is loaded up but X-Pac takes out D-Von, followed by a double superkick to Bubba. Spike goes through the table.

Debra is looking for Jim Ross.

Don’t Try This At Home.

William Regal tells Jeff Hardy that he has an Intercontinental Title shot against HHH tonight (works for him) but if he ever besmirches (yes BESMIRCHES) Stephanie McMahon again, he will never get another title shot. Jeff leaves and Big Show comes in, demanding Undertaker and Kane tonight. Regal makes the match, with Show getting to pick any tag team he wants for a handicap match.

Crash Holly isn’t worried about Rhino, who Gores him into a steel door.

Debra comes in to see Jim Ross, who is fine with her being here despite what her husband did to him. She apologizes for what Steve Austin did and insists that she wasn’t involved. Ross knows that because he knows what kind of a person Debra is and knows she wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Austin comes in and accuses him of flirting with Debra before throwing him out (of his own dressing room). Debra isn’t sure what to do but Austins says they’re leaving now. They leave during the break.

Stephanie McMahon is annoyed at Jeff Hardy breaking her earring so HHH says he’ll take care of this. The match is officially dedicated to Stephanie and threatens the trainer. Stephanie: “Go get em Hunter. I love you.” The whiny voice made that as perfect as it could have been.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

Chyna is defending and Ivory has Steven Richards with her. Ivory tries to go up but gets slammed down for the early crash. Chyna’s handspring elbow misses though and Ivory grabs a bulldog. The chinlock stays on the neck (which is still banged up from earlier in the year) but Chyna powers up without much trouble. Richards gets involved by pulling Chyna to the floor for a clothesline though and Ivory gets a VERY delayed one. Chyna comes back with a suplex and some clotheslines as Ivory is getting ragdolled here. The gorilla press drop retains the title at 3:53.

Rating: C. This was somehow more competitive than their Wrestlemania match but it showed the problem with Chyna as champion: no one was going to be able to give her any serious challenge. Ivory was hardly a slouch and she got crushed here, which would happen with anyone. Chyna wouldn’t be long for the company, and it would take Trish Stratus of all people to save the division.

Post match Richards goes after Chyna and gets laid out for his efforts.

Big Show tries to get the APA to team with him tonight. That’s not happening, so Show accuses the APA of being scared. They’re just too busy though and tell him to shut the door as he goes.

Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho say they aren’t rocket scientists so they know William Regal is coming for revenge. Benoit says let’s go with it.

Edge And Christian/William Regal/Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Benoit and Jericho charge right in and Benoit suplexes Edge, setting up a Lionsault from Jericho. With the other villains cut off, Benoit adds the Swan Dive for two with Christian making the save. We settle down to Regal stomping on Benoit and it’s off to Angle for more of the same.

Angle gets in a German suplex but Benoit northern lights suplexes Christian as commentary ignores the match to talk about Hardy vs. HHH. Benoit gets over to Jericho for the tag to pick up the pace and we get back to back Walls and Crossfaces on various villains. That takes a bit too long though and Angle Angle Slams Jericho for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: B-. There was a lot going on in this one but it was more of an angle than a competitive match. The bigger deal here was making Regal, and presumably Vince McMahon and pals, look evil so that the Canadian Chrises would have someone to fight. Moving them up into the main event scene is not a bad idea and putting them in spots like this, where they held their own for a bit, is only going to make that push feel more warranted.

Post match Regal and Angle go after them again, only to get pulled into various submissions to make them tap.

Test wishes Jeff Hardy luck, as he wishes he could have done that to Stephanie more than once.

We recap Linda McMahon asking Vince for a divorce on Raw. This at least seems to be different than the opening video.

Rhyno vs. Hardcore Holly

This is over Rhyno attacking the other Hollys. They waste no time in starting the brawl until Rhyno charges into a boot in the corner. The fight goes to the mat before they get up and chop it out. Holly gets in his hanging kick to the ribs and they brawl into the corner again. Rhyno fights out of the corner but the Gore hits both of them. Cue Molly Holly with a trashcan so Hardcore can send Rhyno running. Apparently Rhyno was disqualified when he Gored the referee, so ignoring the lack of a bell, we’ll say it ended around 2:10.

Big Show asks Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman to team with him tonight. Blackman has his nunchucks and Show thinks better of it.

Albert is the guest host at WWF New York. Not that we actually see him, but that’s what commentary tells us.

Jeff Hardy would love to be the Intercontinental Champion, but tonight is about payback and revenge.

The Right To Censor recruits Test, but he’s good on not having to give up everything and dress like them. He will take a match with Val Venis though.

Big Show settles for Kai En Tai. Apparently they think he’s Godzilla.

King Of The Ring sold out in four hours.

Big Show/Kai En Tai vs. Brothers Of Destruction

Funaki starts for the team but Undertaker wants Show. Instead it’s Kane coming in to beat up Taka but Funaki grabs the leg. Show tags himself in and hits a clothesline but Kane sits up, so we’ll have Funaki pulled in by Show instead. With Show leaving, it’s a double chokeslam to Kai En Tai. Kane tries his own Last Ride but just drops Funaki behind him instead. Undertaker shows him the proper method on Taka as Show is furious. Kane hits a better Last Ride to pin Funaki at 2:55. This was goofy fun.

Long video on the XFL playoffs.

Val Venis vs. Test

The Right To Censor is here with Venis, who jumps Test to start. They slug it out until Godfather trips Test up, allowing the RTC to hammer away from the floor. Venis chokes away and cranks on both arms at once to keep Test down. That doesn’t last long as Test is back up with a tilt-a-whirl slam, only for Venis to send him outside. Back in and Test hits the pumphandle slam so Godfather offers a distraction. Richards superkicks Venis by mistake and here is Raven, who the RTC tried to recruit on Raw, to give Richards a DDT. The big boot finishes Venis at 3:28.

Rating: C+. For a match between Test and Val Venis, they certainly put a lot in there. That’s a nice thing to see as it was a bit of a throwback to the Attitude Era style, which can work well in small doses. The RTC isn’t long for the world, and to be fair there wasn’t much else for them to do anyway. Not a great match, but it was fun while it lasted.

Post match the RTC gets in a big brawl of their own, with referees not being able to break it up.

We get another recap of what led to Jeff Hardy getting an Intercontinental Title shot.

Intercontinental Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

HHH is defending and they’re both alone for a change. The early slugout goes to HHH, who knocks Hardy outside. Back in and hardy hits the legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick before hammering away in the corner. HHH shoves him out for the big crash but the Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two. A missed charge sends Hardy back to the floor, where he’s fine enough to send HHH into the steps.

The dive off the barricade is cut off with a powerslam out of the air, only for Hardy to get up…and get powerslammed out of the air again. Might want to try something different there chum. Back in and the jumping knee cuts Hardy off again but this time HHH would rather hammer away than cover. A hard whip into the corner drops Hardy again and HHH grabs a sleeper (more like an awkward hug really).

Hardy jawbreaks his way to freedom and…well one of them grabs a legsweep. Hardy goes up so HHH throws the referee into the ropes for the break, albeit not a DQ due to reasons of convenience. The referee gets shoved down but here is Matt Hardy (not supposed to be here) to chair HHH in the head. One heck of a Swanton gives Jeff the pin and the title in a huge upset at 8:07.

Rating: B-. This was mostly a HHH squash with a screwy ending but dang the fans went nuts when Hardy won. It was the first sign that there might be something to Jeff on his own, but it was also quite the surprise as you do not see a major heel faction lose so soon. That’s an interesting way to go, even if HHH would get the title back the next week. Granted there was something a bit bigger waiting on HHH and Austin later on in the form of Undertaker and Kane, but for now, good surprise here.

Overall Rating: B-. While I’m not big on the Austin heel run, it’s quite the fun flashback as you can see the incredible talent pool that the WWF had available. The amazing thing is that it would get even better in about two months with the Invasion and…ok so it didn’t exactly work out. This wasn’t some classic show, but it was interesting to see where the company was going in the fallout of Wrestlemania, especially with Rock gone. I’ll be back around this era one day and it was fun to look back at it again.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 27, 2011
Location: Thomas And Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s Raw Roulette and that means it is time for things to get a bit gimmicky. There are going to be a variety of special stipulations this week and there is a chance that most of them are going to be less than serious. Yeah I can’t imagine that taking place around here either but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring Burn It To The Ground by Nickelback. Eh I still like it.

We open with a look at Raw Roulette, which will be hosted by Booker T.

Here is Special Guest Star (not host, because that’s a different thing) Shawn Michaels to get things going. Yes he promised to stay away, but he just couldn’t help himself…and gosh darn it, he missed the people too much. Now everyone who hosts this show has something to plug but that’s not his way. He’s not someone to plug his new show, Macmillan River Adventures, but did you notice his Twitter on the screen?

Cue CM Punk with the Tag Team Champions the New Nexus to interrupt. Punk talks about how he’s going to be leaving in July, just as WWE Champion. Michaels likes the idea of Punk leaving but Punk mocks Michaels for losing to Undertaker last year at Wrestlemania. Punk brags about being ready to beat John Cena, though Michaels says they’re cheering him over Punk because they know he’s better. Punk: “You were.”

Punk thinks that sounds like a challenge but Michaels says they have nothing in common. Michaels: “I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs.” Punk: “Anymore.” Michaels: “Fair enough.” Then Michaels superkicks David Otunga but we get an email from the Anonymous Raw General Manager, with Punk getting the first match tonight. He wants it to be with Michaels but we get a spin of the wheel, which earns him a mystery opponent. Then Booker T. says it’s Kane, which isn’t much of a mystery. Michaels superkicks Michael McGillicutty and wishes Punk luck.

CM Punk vs. Kane

Kane wastes no time in knocking him down and sending things outside, setting up a basement dropkick for two back inside. The side slam gets two but Punk manages a neck snap across the top rope for a needed breather. A kick to the head rocks Kane again and Punk gets to drive in some knees in the corner. Kane fights back and knocks Punk down again, which is enough for Punk to walk out at 3:39. As Cole points out, Punk shouldn’t care as he’s already the #1 contender, which does make sense.

Rating: C. This was more of an angle than a match and that’s not a bad thing. As commentary pointed out, what does Punk have to gain by fighting Kane in a long match here when he has a huge match coming up in less than a month? It’s not the best way to start out a night of gimmick matches as there wasn’t much of a gimmick, but at least they did something logical. At least by wrestling standards.

We get an ad for WWE Poker. I won $10 on there.

Sin Cara vs. Evan Bourne

The bell rings and we get another spin of the wheel, as done by Eve Torres for fairly apparent reasons: No Countout. This isn’t the best start, but at least the bell rings again rather than adding time for the spin. They fight over wrist control to start and Cara wristdrags him out to the floor. A baseball slide misses and Bourne takes him down back inside.

Bourne gets sent outside again though and this time the dive connects. Cara’s spinning sideslam is countered into a headscissors and they trade some rollups for two each back inside. A springboard corkscrew dive gives Cara two, with Bourne coming back with a standing moonsault for the same. Air Bourne misses though and Cara hits La Mistica for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: B-. It was a good, fast paced match with a bunch of dives, but the No Countout thing added pretty much nothing as they weren’t even outside long enough for a countout. Cara is one of those incredible “what if” cases as he was a mega star before coming to WWE and then did it again after he left. It never clicked in WWE though and the weird yellow lighting wasn’t helping anything.

Kofi Kingston gets to spin the wheel for his match against Dolph Ziggler, but here is Vickie Guerrero to spin instead. It’s Player’s Choice, with Kofi getting the pick. He’ll go with Vickie being banned from ringside, as this isn’t the most thrilling selection of matches so far.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler’s US Title isn’t on the line. Vickie handles Ziggler’s introduction and this was during his short hair phase, which really did not work in the slightest. Kingston knocks him to the floor to start and then does it again, this time for a slam on the outside. Ziggler gets in a posting though and we take an early break. Back with Kingston fighting out of a chinlock but missing a Stinger Splash, allowing Ziggler to hit a Fameasser for two. Kingston fights up again and hits a quick Trouble In Paradise for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C+. These two fought roughly 183,485 times over the years and this was just another in their endless series. As usual, a reigning champion loses clean, though in this case it likely sets up another title match between the two of them. Also as usual, the stipulation meant pretty much nothing here, as Vickie just left instead of being there to cheat for Ziggler. It gives the idea that Kingston can beat Ziggler clean, but they could have had a better stipulation than this.

Booker, with Maryse, recaps the night when Alberto Del Rio comes in to complain about having to face Big Show again. Del Rio hits on Maryse, who spins the wheel for him and gets a cage match, which ends the flirting.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

In a cage. Del Rio tries to escape to start and gets chopped down just as fast. Some kicks to Show’s bad knee give Del Rio two and he cranks on said knee in a smart move. Cue Mark Henry (feuding with Show) to watch from ringside but Show catches Del Rio going up for a superplex. Then Henry pulls the cage door off and throws it inside, with Del Rio escaping at 5:18.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but again the point was advancing the story rather than anything about the match itself. Del Rio escaped rather than win here, which doesn’t make for the best match. Show vs. Henry will be a good battle of the monsters when we get there, though it didn’t exactly make for the best use of something like a cage.

Post match Henry hits Show with the door, knocking him through the wall for a huge crash. That always looks cool and was another step in Henry’s path to the World Title in a few months.

Cole and Lawler recap the Show vs. Henry feud, which seems like something that would have been better suited before the whole thing started.

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella

Kelly’s Divas Title (which she won from Brie Bella last week) isn’t on the line. The wheel makes this…a submission match, with Brie at ringside. That’s quite the choice. The submission deal, though Brie is quite the choice as well. Nikki takes her down by the arm to start and grabs a Fujiwara armbar of all things. Kelly reverses that into a Boston crab and Nikki taps at 1:13.

Post match Brie jumps Kelly but Eve Torres makes the save.

We look at Andy Leavine winning Tough Enough. He never went anywhere at all in WWE.

Rey Mysterio gets a tornado tag match but here is Diamond Dallas Page to come in and plug the new Monday Nitro DVD. A rather young looking Drew McIntyre comes in to say the two of them need to leave in ten minutes or else. Then Shawn Michaels superkicks McIntyre and talks about everything the DVD…which he has never seen.

The Miz/Jack Swagger vs. Alex Riley/Rey Mysterio

Tornado Tag. Swagger takes over on Mysterio to start and hits a quick backbreaker as Miz kicks Riley down on the floor. The Vader Bomb gets two on Mysterio but Riley sends Swagger outside for a seated senton from the apron. Mysterio gets sent into the post but Riley fights back on both of them. That’s broken up and a gorilla press gutbuster gets two on Mysterio.

Back up and Riley backdrops Swagger out to the floor, leaving Mysterio to kick Miz in the head for two. Swagger breaks up the 619 though, leaving Riley to get double teamed. Riley manages a Cactus Clothesline to take Miz outside and breaks up the ankle lock on Mysterio. That means a 619 into Riley’s implant DDT into Mysterio’s top rope splash for the pin at 11:58.

Rating: B-. It was nice to see a match get some time here with the stipulation actually having an impact. That really hasn’t been the case on the whole show and it helped out quite a bit here. Riley is one of those cases where he could have been a bigger deal but it just never came together for one reason or another, which is quite the shame.

R-Truth talks to Little Jimmy and gets a tables match with John Cena. Booker leaves out of fear.

John Cena vs. R-Truth

Cena’s Raw World Title isn’t on the line and R-Truth doesn’t have any music as he’s rather crazy (work with me here) at the moment. R-Truth hammers away to start and actually takes over in the corner but Cena fights back with a release fisherman’s suplex. Back up and Cena gets sent through the ropes for a crash, allowing R-Truth to crank away on both arms.

A dropkick puts R-Truth down but he slips out of the AA and hits his suplex Stunner. That means it’s time to put a table in the corner, only for Cena to get in a suplex for a breather. They go to the floor with R-Truth being sent into the steps so Cena can get another table. Cue CM Punk to move the table though, allowing R-Truth to spear Cena through another table for the win at 5:12.

Rating: C. Cena really doesn’t have the best luck in tables matches, which is kind of the point of the thing. They let him lose a match without taking a pin or giving up and that’s the entire point. Punk cost him a win here and that helps set up their title match at Money In The Bank, though the match is going to need a bit more than that.

With that out of the way, R-Truth leaves and Punk, who is wearing a Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt, grabs the microphone and sits down on the stage. Punk says that he hopes Cena is as uncomfortable as possible but before he leaves in three weeks with the WWE Title, he has a lot to get off his chest. He doesn’t hate Cena nearly as much as he hates some of the people backstage, but he hates this idea that Cena is the best in the world.

The reality is that Cena is the best in the world at kissing Vince McMahon’s a**. Cena might be as good at it as Hulk Hogan but maybe not as good as Dwayne. Punk: “Oops, I’m breaking the fourth wall.” Punk talks about being the best in the world since he got here, because Paul Heyman saw something in him. Punk: “Yeah I’m a Paul Heyman guy.” So was Brock Lesnar and Punk is leaving just like Lesnar, but Punk is doing it as WWE Champion.

Punk has grabbed so many imaginary brass rings that he has finally realized they are just that: imaginary. In six years, he has realized that the only thing that is real is him and he is the best around, but he isn’t on the cups or on the programs or on some bad USA Network show. He should be on Conan O’Brien or Jimmy Fallon but the fact that the Rock is in the main event of Wrestlemania next year makes him sick.

Those of you cheering him right now are a big part of the reason he’s leaving, because they’re buying all that stuff that he isn’t on, then they want him to sign it at the airport so they can sell it on eBay. He’ll win the WWE Title and maybe he’ll defend it in New Japan or go to Ring Of Honor. Punk: “Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing?”

Punk talks about how Vince McMahon is a millionaire rather than a billionaire because of people like John Laurinaitis. Maybe it will be better when Vince is dead, but his stupid daughter and his doofus son-in-law. Punk goes to tell us a personal story about Vince and bullying….but his mic cuts out. Punk yells at the camera to end the show.

I’ve been thinking about this one for a bit now that it’s over and I’m not sure where to start. In the nearly fourteen years since this took place, the promo has taken on a life of its own and turned Punk from a star into a Star in just a few minutes. Actually that’s one of the things that might stand out the most: this whole thing was just over six minutes long. In the days of the monologue style promos and seemingly endless exchanges between top names, seeing something have this kind of an impact in such a short time is remarkable.

Is it really that great of a promo? Kind of, but a lot of that is due to the way Punk was saying it. This felt like he meant every single word that he was saying and it made the fans hang on every word he was saying. Punk was talking about some fairly inside baseball things here and it was going in a direction that you don’t often see with wrestling. I’m not sure how great it was from a quality standpoint, but it certainly got and kept the fans’ attention.

With that being said, this is one of the most legendary promos in the history of WWE, and wrestling as a whole, for a reason. It was the suggestion that something was going to be changing, as you did not see anyone call out a bunch of these beyond the fourth wall issues. Punk got to open up and show that he’s one of the best talkers of all time, which had been kind of known before this, albeit not to this extent. It had people talking and while that only led to so much of a financial impact on the title match with Cena, Punk has lived off of this for a LONG time, despite him not even having the microphone for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. Well thank goodness Punk cut one of the most famous promos of all time and stole the night because this show was HORRIBLE otherwise. The rest of this show was a bunch of gimmicks for the sake of adding something to matches which didn’t make anything better. There is nothing to see here (save for the last seven minutes or so) and my goodness it is quite the mess, which is partially why Punk’s promo meant so much. Fans were wanting something, or really ANYTHING else and Punk was seemingly offering that. It only kind of worked, but wow what a start he really had with this all timer.

 

 

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ECW House Show
Date: June 24, 2006
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

So this is another hidden gem from the WWE Vault and in this case we have a house show from just after the brand was brought back. It’s not a complete show, but there should be something worth seeing on a show like this. If nothing else, it should be interesting to see what happened when WWE still cared about ECW. Let’s get to it.

We open with some fans in the parking lot being VERY happy that ECW is back.

Little Guido shows us where things started and says he has gone from Guido to Nunzio to Guido again. Seeing the fans wrapped around the building have brought back memories to him and now he hopes they can give the fans what they want.

Some fans and wrestlers talk about their favorite moments and wrestlers.

Paul Heyman barely recognizes the inside of the renovated arena.

Francine is excited.

Kelly Kelly isn’t sure what to expect.

Big Show has heard horror stories about this place but no, he isn’t scared.

FBI vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

So there are no introductions and this is shot on a handheld camera so I’m going to assume clipping will be involved. Roadkill tosses Mamaluke down to start but gets caught with a headlock takeover. An armbar doesn’t work very well for Mamaluke but he avoids a sitdown splash, setting up the double basement dropkick. We’re clipped to Doring coming in to slap Mamaluke and a clothesline gets two.

We’re clipped (maybe) to Roadkill hitting a Vader Bomb for two before we’re clipped to Nunzio hitting a tornado DDT. The Sicilian Slice gets two but a Hart Attack takes Nunzio down. We’re clipped to Mamaluke hitting a dive to the floor, followed by Roadkill hitting one of his own (his is bigger). Back in and Mamaluke hits a top rope DDT to pin Roadkill (the camera is looking at the crowd for the pin) at 3:50 shown. I’ll pass on the rating due to the clipping but this was a smart way to open the show, with the fans clearly way into everything and having a good time.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

From what I can tell, other than a one off dark match a few months earlier, this is Punk’s main roster debut. Punk grabs a headlock to start before running him over to set up another headlock. We’re clipped to Punk chopping away in the corner and tying him up in the ropes for some choking. We’re clipped again to Punk being sent to the apron and flipping into a knee to the back.

We’re clipped again to Punk fighting out of a chinlock and hitting the leg lariat into a butterfly backbreaker for two more. The Stevie Kick gets two but Punk strikes away and grabs the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap at 2:44 shown. There might have been more clipping in the middle, which is a bit surprising as these two should be capable of having a good match.

Post match the fans give them some nice applause and we get a handshake.

At this point, Francine won a bikini contest over Kelly Kelly and Trinity, which doesn’t air here for obvious reasons.

Mike Knox vs. Balls Mahoney

Joined in progress with Knox working on the arm. They go outside with Mahoney hammering away but getting stomped back inside. The fans decide they want New Jack and we’re clipped to Knox sending him face first into a chair in the corner. The fans don’t think Knox can wrestle but we’re clipped again to Mahoney hitting a superplex.

We’re clipped again to Mahoney hammering away and hitting the Nutcracker Sweet for two, with the camera again cutting away on the cover. We’re clipped again to Knox hitting a superplex and we’re clipped yet again to the referee telling Mahoney he can’t use a chair. Then Knox rolls him up for the pin at 2:23 shown of what looked to be a less than thrilling match. They were doing some moves but Knox was so dull at this point and that was on display here.

Sabu vs. CW Anderson

Sabu takes him down by the leg to start and goes for the camel clutch and we’re clipped to Sabu sending him outside for a chair to the head. A table is set up but Anderson gets in a chair shot to the arm. We’re cut to the chair being set up in the corner but Sabu knocks him down again. We’re clipped again to Sabu hitting the super Arabian press through the table for the pin at 2:23 shown. Well they had to get Sabu on there.

Sandman vs. Justin Credible

Dueling Singapore Canes. Sandman canes him down to start and we’re clipped to Credible hung over the top rope for a top rope Fameasser. We’re clipped to Credible getting in some cane shots but crotching himself against the post. Credible gets in a superkick but walks into a DDT. We’re clipped to Sandman shrugging off a cane shot and hitting the White Russian Legsweep for the pin at 1:01 shown. Apparently he match ran less than three minutes total….and they had to edit it on here?

Fans: “THIS SHOW SUCKS!” Wow that actually made the release?

Here is Paul Heyman for a chat and the fans are happy again. Heyman hugs Hat Guy and the fans want a shoot but then stop for another THIS SHOW SUCKS chant. It’s hard to understand what he’s saying to start but then he says some of the music sucks. Heyman says this is their first house show in this sacred hall and now it’s a THANK YOU PAUL chant. He gives a quick tribute to Ted Petty and talks about some people who can’t be here (Heyman: “Yes, AND NEW JACK TOO!”).

After yelling at a fan for talking too much (and for being a John Cena fan), Heyman talks about how there is someone here who gave everything for ECW. The fans chant for Tommy Dreamer and Heyman introduces him for a chat of his own. Dreamer talks about how one of his daughters got hurt earlier today and had to be taken to the hospital. Dreamer: “She was no selling it because she’s hardcore too.”

Once he found out his daughter was ok, Dreamer’s wife sent him to the show because he needed to be here. These people are a family and Dreamer says it is great to be home. He may never have wrestled at Wrestlemania but he has main evented in the ECW Arena. With that, he calls out the Big Show for a fight and that isn’t a good idea.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Big Show

Dreamer hammers away to start and is shoved down just as fast. We’re clipped to Dreamer getting crotched on the barricade and then again to Dreamer ramming him into the wall. Another clip (How long is this match?) takes us to Dreamer hitting him with a bunch of weapons and grabbing a DDT for two. We’re clipped again to Show chokeslamming him through a table for the win at 2:58. The whole match was about ten minutes and they couldn’t even show half of it?

ECW World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam (with two belts) is defending and Dean Malenko is the guest referee. Angle powers him into the corner to start but Van Dam shrugs it off. We’re clipped to Van Dam getting two off a rollup and we’re clipped again to them fighting on the floor (They made sure to show us a rollup?). Van Dam whips him into thee barricade and hits the spinwheel kick off the apron.

Angle is right back up with an overhead belly to belly and we’re clipped to him hitting another inside. A bunch of clips take us through Angle choking and Van Dam fighting up and making a comeback, including the split legged moonsault for two. We’re clipped to Van Dam hitting the top rope kick to the face and we’re clipped again to Angle grabbing a German suplex.

We’re clipped again to Van Dam countering an Angle Slam into a DDT and we’re clipped again to Van Dam doing various things to a chair (with EVEN MORE clipping). A gordbuster onto the chair sets up the Angle Slam for two and we’re clipped to Van Dam hitting Rolling Thunder.

The Five Star is countered with Angle running the corner for the belly to belly superplex for two and we’re clipped to the ankle lock keeping Van Dam in trouble. A chair to the head gets Van Dam out of trouble and we’re clipped to Angle’s chair shot hitting the rope and bouncing into his own head. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to retain the title at 7:03 (out of almost seventeen minutes the match apparently ran).

Rating: B-. It’s hard to say how good this was when we didn’t even see half of it but you can imagine that these two had a rather impressive match if given the chance. Angle was the biggest WWE name to be part of the new ECW so he almost had to be Van Dam’s first opponent, but that wasn’t going to last very long. For now though, pretty good main event but the show was a disaster anyway and this wasn’t going to save it. Malenko was a completely non-factor here.

Van Dam gets his belts and celebrates with the fans, who want a speech. He’s really happy to be champion and that ECW is back. We hit the catchphrase to wrap it up.

Some fans are very happy after the show to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C-. I get why this was aired, but my goodness it’s a sad thing to see. I was never a big ECW fan and even I thought this was a pathetic version of what ECW was supposed to be. I’m sure the fans were glad to see some of these people and you could feel the emotion, but there are seven matches on the card and only two of them break ten minutes. There was barely any hardcore stuff going on until the last few matches and nothing stood out as interesting.

In other words, it felt like the WWE version of ECW and that is not something that was overly interesting. ECW worked because it wasn’t WWE and trying to tie the two things together isn’t a great idea. This show wasn’t so much bad as much as it was embarrassing and sad, which are worse for something that is going to be built around nostalgia and emotion. It’s a VERY cool thing to get to see, but it’s also a great illustration of why the whole thing fell apart so fast.

 

 

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Unforgiven 1999
Date: September 26, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 15,779
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

After going through a bunch of television with all of the fast matches that rarely have a chance to make an impact, it’s going to be a bit weird to see things getting time. The main event is a Six Pack Challenge with a bunch of main eventers and the British Bulldog fighting for the WWF Title, with Steve Austin as guest referee. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how it all comes to tonight as everyone wanted to avoid being unforgiven.

The referees are still on strike so we have scab referees for the show.

Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman

Venis brings the bag of weapons with him, having recently stolen them. Blackman strikes away to start but Venis kicks him into the corner and gets in some choking. A missed elbow lets Blackman knock him to the floor, with a suplex bringing Venis back in. They’re already back on the floor with Venis being sent into the steps as commentary talks about the main event.

Back in and Blackman whips him hard into the corner and we hit the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Venis fights up with some elbows. Lawler: “Starting to rise. To the occasion.” JR: “He’s done that for money.” Back up and Blackman’s crossbody is rolled through for two, with referee Steve Lombardi counting at the feet. Venis knocks him down again and hits the Money Shot for the clean pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t worth much of a watch and I’m not sure why they thought it was a feud that needed to have a pay per view match. The whole deal is that Val isn’t overly serious while Blackman is ultra series and….conflict? Just nothing to see but a long TV match and not exactly interesting.

Post match Venis grabs a kendo stick but Blackman takes it away and knocks him cold. Cue the medics, with Blackman yelling at a female nurse. The male security guard tackles Blackman, who leaves rather quickly.

Big Show says he has a killer instinct and will win the title.

We recap Mark Henry defending the European Title against D’Lo Brown. Henry was overweight and Brown tried to get him in better shape. Henry would rather have women and food though, along with the belt. Now Brown wants revenge and the title as well.

Mark Henry hits on Lilian Garcia and gets slapped in the face.

European Title: Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown

Henry is defending….in theory, as he says there isn’t going to be a title match tonight. After sending his two women to start the car, Henry says he has a “brainerism” after that slap. Maybe we can do this tomorrow on Raw, but cue Brown to interrupt. They start brawling on the floor and head inside, where the bell rings to officially get things going.

Brown manages a rather impressive Sky High for two, followed by a legdrop for the same. Henry misses a running charge at the ropes and takes a kind of scary crash out to the floor. The big no hands dive (that looked nice) takes Henry down again and a high crossbody gets two back inside.

A big clothesline drops Brown and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and Brown comes back with a crossbody before countering another into a slam (I wonder if the first wasn’t as planned.). The big leg gives Henry two but Brown slips through his legs and grabs a hurricanrana for a double knockdown. Back up and Henry hammers away in the corner, only to get powerbombed down. The Low Down gives Brown the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Oh this wasn’t working and that was very clear. Henry looked awkward and unsure of himself, along with just slow. Brown was doing what he could and was trying but he could only do so much on his own. Bad match, and while Henry is good in segments, the matches aren’t working.

The Acolytes are ready for the Dudley Boyz and just because one of them is white and one of them is Black, that’s where the similarities end. We pause this to see some people beating up Chaz and throwing him out of the locker room. Why was Chaz here if he doesn’t have a match?

Debra isn’t happy with Jeff Jarrett for putting her in the Figure Four but Jarrett doesn’t want to hear it, grabs Miss Kitty and leaves.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna

Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, is defending and is convinced that no woman could ever beat a man. He’s also gone rather nuts and attacked the legs of various women with the Figure Four. Jarrett starts fast but misses a running crotch attack on the ropes. A hard clothesline puts Jarrett down and another one knocks him out to the floor. Jarrett pulls the legs out though and crotches her against the post, with the pain surprising Lawler.

Commentary talks about the women Jarrett has hurt, which has Lawler chuckling, as Jarrett gets two off a high crossbody. A nice dropkick hits Chyna and a superplex into a not great small package gets two. Jarrett hits a DDT onto the arm so he goes up top, only to get electric chaired down. Moolah and Mae Young are worried in the front row as Chyna fights out of a sleeper and grabs a suplex (better than Jarrett’s normal sleeper sequence) to leave them down again.

A powerslam and powerbomb give Jarrett two but he’s back with a powerbomb of his own. They go outside where Chyna hits him with a chair, with Lawler losing his mind over how that isn’t a DQ. Back in and the Pedigree is countered into a catapult to crush referee Harvey Wippleman. The guitar is thrown in….so Moolah and Mae Young run in to beat the fire out of Jarrett, including a double slam.

The crowd goes NUTS, only to be cut off as Jarrett hits a double clothesline. Jarrett loads up the Figure Four but here is Debra with a heck of a guitar shot to knock him cold. Chyna gets the pin and the title….but head scab referee Tom Prichard comes in to reverse the decision.

Rating: C. They were trying here and Jarrett was able to carry Chyna to something watchable enough. It’s pretty clear that the big blowoff is still coming with Jarrett getting what is coming to him, so hopefully they can do a bit better than this one in the rematch. That being said, the highlight here was definitely Moolah and Mae, as they beat the fire out of Jarrett for a bit and made it work. It worked and was hilarious at the same time, which is hard to do.

Post match Chyna Pedigrees Prichard to blow off some steam.

Steve Austin promises a new WWF Champion tonight.

Acolytes vs. Dudley Boyz

It’s a brawl to start as Jimmy Korderas has crossed the picket line so we have a regular referee. D-Von gets knocked down on the floor, leaving Bubba to get caught with a double flapjack. A superplex gives Bradshaw two as Lawler makes a bunch of jokes about Moolah and Mae Young. Bubba is knocked outside and whipped hard into the steps but he’s back in with a belly to belly.

It’s back to D-Von for a running neckbreaker but the fall away slam sends him flying. Faarooq can’t hit the Dominator so it’s back to Bradshaw, who gets caught in the reverse 3D for another near fall. D-Von hits his top rope headbutt, only for Bradshaw to pop up and catch him on top with a belly to back superplex (and a nice one at that). A quick 3D connects…but Stevie Richards comes in dressed as an Acolyte (with the UPN logo on his chest) to superkick D-Von for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad power tag match as the Acolytes could still go well enough. I’m not sure about beating the hot new team in the Dudleys but at least there was some interference. The Dudleys are still trying to find their groove around here, but the 3D is such an awesome finisher that they’re already off to a good start.

Post match the Acolytes beat Richards down.

Women’s Title: Luna vs. Ivory

Ivory is defending in a Hardcore match and they start fighting in the back. Luna throws a TV at Ivory, makes photocopies of her face, and throws a phone at her before sending her into some walls. Ivory is back with a toss into a trashcan for…well no count as her shoulders aren’t down, but if falls count anywhere, shouldn’t they count in a place with her shoulders not down?

I guess a fall has to include shoulders down to be counted as a fall, but the technical aspect is broken up by Luna splashing her off a forklift for two. Cue Tori to take a swing at Ivory but she gets knocked into an anvil case. Ivory hits Luna with a pole for the pin to retain. Tori added nothing here.

Rating: C-. Well, Ivory gets to retain and Tori was kind of there as well, but this was little more than a segment described as a match. They were doing the usual hardcore stuff but backstage, which doesn’t leave them with much to do. Rather dull again, which is rapidly becoming the norm with these hardcore based match.

Moolah and Mae Young want Jeff Jarrett to stay out of their business but Ivory runs in to say stay out of her business. That earns Ivory another beating.

Tag Team Titles: Edge and Christian vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are defending. Gunn powers Edge into the corner to start but Edge is back out with a takedown into a headlock. Dogg comes in for a headlock of his own but Christian comes in off a blind tag for a dropkick. That doesn’t last long as it’s Gunn coming in for some ax handles to the back, plus a gorilla press onto Dogg’s knee for a near fall. Christian gets up and hands it back to Edge, who gets punched in the face a few times.

The slow pace continues with Dogg being knocked outside and sent into the steps to put the Canadians in control for the first time. The chinlock goes on before Dogg and Christian hit stereo crossbodies. Dogg still can’t get over to Gunn so we’ll go with some stomping in the corner instead. A side slam/layout reverse DDT combination gives Christian two as JR is getting into Edge and Christian’s rapid tagging.

Dogg finally manages a double DDT and everyone but Gunn is down. The diving tag brings Gunn in to clean house with a powerslam getting two on Christian. The reverse layout DDT gets Christian out o trouble but cue Gangrel and Matt Hardy to pull Christian to the floor. Jeff Hardy adds a dropkick to Edge and the Fameasser retains the titles.

Rating: B. I wouldn’t have expected this to be the match of the night so far but they pulled it off here. The Outlaws weren’t known as being the most polished team ever but they worked really well together and that was on display here. The same was true of Edge and Christian, who were pretty clearly wanting to work hard in a big spot, which was pretty much the norm for them.

HHH and British Bulldog won’t say if they’re together or not but they’ll do what it takes to win tonight.

Big Boss Man doesn’t regret anything he’s done to Al Snow because he’s used to dealing with people inside a cage, dogs or not.

The Cell is lowered and the cage is built.

Al Snow is going to beat up the Big Boss Man for Pepper’s memory.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Boss Man

Snow is defending and this is the Kennel From Hell match, meaning there’s a regular cage and the Cell around it, with rottweilers in between the two cages. It’s the old story: Boss Man wanted to be Hardcore Champion and cooked Snow’s dog and fed it to him as a result. There are no dogs to start (uh oh) and only Snow is in the cage. That leaves Boss Man between the cage and the Cell as the dogs come out.

We’re nearly two minutes in as the dogs are finally brought inside, where one of them immediately relieves himself. Boss Man climbs the cage but Snow hits it with a shovel to avoid getting inside. The dogs start arguing with each other as Snow drops to the floor, where he climbs the Cell despite the dogs not chasing him.

Snow manages to get onto the regular cage wall but Boss Man catches him on top for a superplex inside, meaning they’re both inside the ring for the first time about three and a half minutes in. The dogs keep barking at each other as Boss Man sends Snow into the cage. The slow beating continues, with Boss Man hitting him in the head with a cookie sheet a few times.

With Snow down (and bleeding), Boss Man grabs a pair of pliers to try and cut open the top. The dogs have at least stopped barking as Boss man has ripped open part of the Cell’s roof. A low blow brings Boss Man back down but he drops Snow with a shot to the face. It’s time for powder, which is knocked into the Boss Man’s eyes, as the dogs have been forgotten or the time being. Snow hits him in the head to bust Boss Man open as well and there’s a shovel shot to his back.

The dogs are looking at each other as Snow starts to unhook a turnbuckle. Snow can’t get one of the dogs to bite Boss Man’s arm so Boss Man hits Snow in the head with a nasty shovel shot (JR: “OH MAN! Ok that’ll be enough.”). Boss Man cuffs Snow to the turnbuckle as JR explains that you have to escape to win.

If that was mentioned before, it wasn’t exactly emphasized. Snow breaks the cuffs to escape and catches Boss Man trying to go through the ceiling. The dogs have been a complete non-factor and barely seen for about seven minutes now so Snow hits Boss Man with Head. Snow goes outside, climbs the Cell, and kicks the door open to retain as Boss Man gets out through the roof.

Rating: F. What in the world is there to say here? There are bad matches where you can see some kind of an idea that might have worked if something went well, but that was in no way shape or form the case here. I have no idea how this got green lit to be on the show, but it wasn’t exactly wrestling, it wasn’t exactly a hardcore match, it wasn’t exactly a cage match and it wasn’t exactly a Cell match.

The dogs were a total non factor and that isn’t a surprise as they aren’t likely trained television performers, so there was only so much they could do. This is just such a chase of wondering how no one stopped this in the setup process, as multiple people were apparently convinced this was a good idea. Absolutely all time awful match (a word I use loosely), but above all else I’m more interested in how we got here, because it should never have happened.

Mankind is going into the main event but is ready to take out the Rock if necessary.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

This was added on Heat (as Ken Shamrock is gone) and Curtis Hughes is here with Jericho. The cage is still being taken down as Jericho makes his entrance so we get a lot of vamping. Before the match, Jericho says he’s here to save Charlotte and this boring, brutal pay per view by giving everyone what they really wanted to see: him! We actually get to the match and they go technical to start with neither getting very far.

Back up and X-Pac scores with some kicks so Jericho fires off the chops. The big kick misses for X-Pac and Jericho drops him with a clothesline. A missed charge lets X-Pac kick him down in the corner but X-Pac has to put the brakes on with the Bronco Buster. Jericho is knocked outside, where X-Pac’s big dive mostly hits the floor for the nasty crash. Back in and Jericho hits a nice missile dropkick, setting up the double arm crank.

That’s broken up so Jericho goes with a backbreaker to put him down again. The fans get distracted by something in the crowd as Jericho hits a slingshot splash for two (that one didn’t stick) and we hit the chinlock as the crowd calms down. Jericho hits the Lionsault and hammers away as the fans are STILL distracted (Geez how drunk was that fan?). The triangle dropkick sends X-Pac outside where Hughes gets in a cheap shot, as any good bodyguard should.

Back in and one heck of a spinwheel kick gives X-Pac a breather, allowing him to dive onto Hughes. Jericho gets dropped for two but manages a low blow to cut off the Bronco Buster. They go up top with X-Pac hitting a superplex for two, only to get caught with the double powerbomb for a rather delayed two. Jericho goes up but gets pulled down but this time X-Pac ties him in the Tree Of Woe for the Bronco Buster. That’s enough for Jericho as he decks the referee for the DQ.

Rating: B-. For a thrown together match, this could have been much worse, with the crowd distraction causing a big problem. They were able to stall long enough to avoid things getting out of hand and that’s a sign of people who know what they’re doing. I can get why X-Pac didn’t lose clean here, though Jericho absolutely feels like one of the hottest things in the company and a win would have suited everything a bit better.

Post match the double beating is on but Road Dogg runs in for the save.

We recap the Six Pack Challenge and here’s the short version: Mankind wins title, HHH wins title, everyone hates HHH, Vince wins title, Vince vacates title, HHH runs gimmick gauntlet, multiple gimmicks wasted in one night, six people fight for the title, British Bulldog doesn’t belong here.

WWF Title: HHH vs. Kane vs. Big Show vs. Mankind vs. The Rock vs. British Bulldog

For the vacant title, one fall to a finish, Kane has the awesome inverted gear, HHH is here with Chyna, and Steve Austin is the outside referee. Austin actually sits in on commentary and thankfully we have tags, meaning Rock and Bulldog start things off. Rock hammers him down into the corner but Bulldog gets in a quick shot, allowing HHH to come in and beat Rock down on the ropes.

A hot shot gets Rock out of trouble for two and it’s off to Kane, who misses an elbow as commentary argues over whether Jimmy Korderas is a scab referee. Show shoves Kane off the top as Austin says he doesn’t quite understand the concept here, despite it not being that complicated. Kane comes back in to drop Mankind with a clothesline but Mankind hits some running kicks, allowing Austin to make some dropkick jokes.

It’s back to Show, who gets enziguried out to the floor but he’s back in to superkick Kane. The rapid fire changes continue as Bulldog hits Rock low, which Austin says he can appreciate. The non-delayed suplex puts Rock down and it’s off to Mankind, who immediately tags out to Kane. Mankind comes right back in for a Texas piledriver to Kane for two but HHH comes in. That’s fine with Mankind, who sends him out into the steps and everything breaks down, with all six brawling up the aisle.

Mankind hits another Texas piledriver and sends HHH into the steps but Bulldog is right on him back inside. Kane beats on Rock on the floor as we settle down to Mankind stomping Bulldog in the corner. Mankind tags Rock in, with both JR and Austin not getting the thinking. Show comes in to kick Kane down and here are the rest of the referees to yell at Jimmy Korderas.

It’s back to Mankind as Austin has to get the other two commentators back on the match. The big elbow gives Show two, with Rock making the save. HHH and Rock fight to the floor with Rock stealing Austin’s beer for a drink. Back in and Kane Tombstones Mankind but Show tags himself in, only to get hit with the top rope clothesline. Bulldog powerslams Kane but gets Pedigreed for his efforts. Rock takes out HHH but gets DDTed by Mankind, setting up the Mandible Claw (Austin: “I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!”).

The Mandible Claw is reversed into the Rock Bottom for two with HHH making the save this time. Show comes in to clean house and hits the chokeslam on Mankind but the other referees pull Korderas out and beat him up for crossing the picket lines. Austin beats up the referees and comes back in to count Rock’s two on HHH, with the fans going nuts. The Rock Bottom hits HHH but Show pulls Austin out. Back in and Bulldog chairs Rock into the Pedigree before Austin chairs Bulldog. Austin has to count the pin to make HHH the champion.

Rating: B. It was a fun match and the referee thing (as unnecessary as it was) did tie into the ending, with Austin already being set up as the first challenger, but there was just so much going on here. That’s a problem with just about everything going on in the company at the moment and the main event was no exception. Thank goodness for the tags here as it could have been even worse. Things also took their time to get going, but the ending was rather good with all of the big stars going nuts until the finish. Just calm down a bit more and let some things breathe.

Post match HHH yells at Austin, who lays him out with a Stunner to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event and the Tag Team Title match are good, but they’re not enough to carry a weak undercard and an all time mess of a Kennel match. The problem with having so many of the big stars in one match was clear here, as it didn’t leave much else for everyone to do. There are worse shows out there, but this was not a good one and is absolutely not worth a look, even with a few nice matches.

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 23, 1999
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,348
Commentators: Michael Hayes, Michael Cole

It’s the last show before Unforgiven and things got a bit more interesting on Raw, as Vince McMahon made the main event of the pay per view for the vacant title. HHH will be involved as well, with Steve Austin as the referee to stack the odds even higher. Other than that, Jeff Jarrett is still a woman hating psycho so we’ll probably get more from him. Let’s get to it.

Here is Raw is you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon, who wastes no time in introducing HHH, naturally with Chyna. Vince brags about being back in charge, and if what he did to HHH on Monday was a headache, tonight will be a migraine. This Sunday, HHH will be facing five opponents at once, but tonight he’ll be facing all of them again , but one on one. And on top of that, we’ll have a special stipulation for each:

The Rock – Brahma Bull Rope Match

Undertaker – Casket Match

Mankind – Boiler Room Brawl

Kane – Inferno Match

Big Show – Chokeslam Challenge

Now, HHH doesn’t have to win all of the matches to keep his spot in the Six Pack Challenge, but he does have to win 3/5. And we’ll start here.

HHH vs. Big Show

Chokeslam Challenge, meaning you win by chokeslamming your opponent. Show fires off some headbutts to start but HHH slugs away in the corner. That earns him a heck of a chop but Show misses a charge. HHH tries a chokeslam, which goes as well as you would expect, with Show hitting one of his own for the win.

HHH: 0-1

Post match Show chokeslams him again and tries a third but a Chyna distraction is enough for the save.

The referees were on strike earlier today when the Dudley Boyz came in and beat them up.

Chris Jericho is ready to prove how dangerous he is tonight by making Ken Shamrock bleed. Just don’t get it on his clothes. That’s because they have a first blood match, because when HHH is in FIVE GIMMICK MATCHES, we need a sixth.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Mark Henry

X-Pac is challenging and here is D’Lo Brown to join commentary. X-Pac strikes away to start and is quickly launched into the air for a crash down onto the mat. The bearhug is broken up but the Bronco Buster misses. Henry hits a splash in the corner but misses an elbow, with Brown saying that’s why Henry needs to lose weight. X-Pac kicks away and hits the Bronco Buster before knocking Henry out to the floor…for the countout.

Rating: C. X-Pac can do the hit and run offense rather well and this was just believable enough to work. There wasn’t exactly much of a reason to believe that the title would change hands here as Brown vs. Henry is already set but this could have been far worse. If nothing else, at least it wasn’t a pinfall before a title match like Test pinning Jeff Jarrett on Raw.

Luna wants the Women’s Title.

Here is Jeff Jarrett, with Miss Kitty, for a chat. Jarrett introduces himself to the fans, which they should probably know if he’s the Intercontinental Champion, before saying Debra didn’t know her place and that’s why she’s injured. A stage manager asks Jarrett to wrap it up so Jarrett loads up the Figure Four. Cue Chyna with a frying pan to the head for the save, complete with Chyna giving him a soup ladle, frying pan and an apron. Then she steals his trunks and puts them on for a bonus. On Sunday, Jarrett will see who is wearing the pants and the title.

HHH vs. Kane

Inferno match and Chyna is here with HHH. Kane shrugs off the right hands to start but it’s too early to light HHH on fire. The facebuster and jumping knee to the face have Kane down, though not enough to light him on fire either. The Pedigree is blocked and Kane hits a chokeslam….but a bloody X-Pac is down on the stage. Undertaker, Mideon and Viscera show up as well so Kane dives over the fire onto the minions. A hard shot knocks Kane into the fire though and HHH wins.

Rating: D. So in one night, we’re not only burning through a bunch of gimmick matches, but also making them feel lame, as this was a three and a half minute match with interference. Kane vs. HHH in an Inferno Match is easily a pay per view level match, but here it is about 45 minutes into a Smackdown with no notice coming into the show. That’s Russo’s take on gimmick matches in a nutshell and it’s another big waste.

HHH: 1-1

Kane, with his hand still on fire, goes to check on X-Pac, which has to be some kind of a health hazard.

Post break and Kane is very upset at what happened to X-Pac.

Undertaker brags about hurting X-Pac and Kane as a result. With that, he’s ready to go, but Lilian Garcia brings up the casket match. Undertaker says that isn’t happening because Vince McMahon doesn’t order him to do anything. Vince pops in and says if he isn’t in the casket match, he’s not participating at Unforgiven either. Undertaker says maybe he won’t be participating in anything around here and walks away.

Here is the Rock for a chat. He doesn’t think too much of HHH bragging, but he does think something of the Dallas Stars in the front row. The Rock has asked to borrow the Stanley Cup (which the Stars won earlier in the year) for the purposes of personally violating HHH. Cue Mankind to interrupt, and while he doesn’t know who this Stanley guy is, but he has a cup (as in the protective kind) for the Rock, because we have to protect the People’s Jewels so we can have Rock Jr. one day.

Mankind thinks the people want to see the Boiler Room Brawl, because he is going to take a steel pipe, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways….and hit HHH right over the head with it! Cue Road Dogg to interrupt, saying no one wants to see the Boiler Room Brawl or the Brahma Bull Rope match. What people want to see is this, so here is Billy Gunn, as the Outlaws are back together. That sounds like a challenge, and Mankind says the Rock N Sock Connection is in.

Tag Team Titles: Rock N Sock Connection vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are challenging and Gunn neckbreakers Mankind for two to start. Dogg comes in to hammer away but it’s off to Rock to do the same. Mankind adds the running knee and whips Dogg into the barricade. Back in and Dogg hammers on Rock, who drops him with a single punch.

The low blow has Dogg in more trouble and it’s back to Mankind (who was already in the ring when he was tagged). Everything breaks down and Gunn breaks up the Rock Bottom as Mankind was already posing. Mankind is sent into the ropes, where his knee gives out as he collides with Rock. The Fameasser gives Gunn the pin and the titles totally clean.

Rating: C. Not the smoothest match but it was nice to see something go down without all kinds of shenanigans. At the same time, it’s weird to see the Outlaws getting the big face pop for the reunion against the super team of Rock and Mankind. You usually wouldn’t put two face teams together like that, but 1999 and all that. It does help that Rock and Mankind had to do something before facing HHH, making things a bit more even.

The Outlaws hit their catchphrase as the team is back.

Vince McMahon swaps Mideon and Viscera in for Undertaker in the casket match.

HHH doesn’t care.

Al Snow is worried about someone being late and checks his watch, which he needs to get fixed as it’s running slow. Snow is not wearing a watch.

HHH vs. Mideon/Viscera

Casket Match and the rather busy Chyna is here with HHH as well. HHH slugs away to start but gets taken down, with Viscera’s splash hitting Mideon by mistake. Chyna gets in a low blow on Viscera so HHH hits a Pedigree each and throws Mideon in for the win. Or not actually, as Shane McMahon says HHH has to put BOTH of them in the casket at the same time. The double teaming is on again and some splashes crush HHH for the easy win. Not long enough to rate counting the Shane interference, but egads the overbooking is nuts on this show.

HHH: 1-2

Ivory agrees to face Luna in a hardcore match for the Women’s Title at Unforgiven.

Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow

Hardcore match and Crash Holly is in Hardcore’s corner. Before the match, Hardcore says Al Snow owes him a favor for injuring Big Boss Man on Raw. Holly hammers away to start and hits a dropkick as commentary talks about everything else going on tonight. We see Big Boss Man tormenting the rottweilers in a car in the back, which fires Snow up. Snow takes out an invading Crash but walks into the Falcon Arrow for the fast pin.

Post match Big Boss Man runs in and feeds Al Snow dog food.

HHH vs. Mankind

Boiler Room Brawl, with the winner being the first person to escape as soon as the door is closed. For some reason HHH doesn’t just step right back outside, instead waiting for Mankind to charge at him and start the brawl. They hit each other with various things as HHH takes over, including hitting him with a big metal pole.

Mankind hits him in the back with a wooden stick but a whip into a transformer cuts him off. A suplex onto a bunch of bolts has Mankind in more trouble but instead of leaving, HHH misses a shot with a pipe. The Mandible Claw has HHH mostly out cold and Mankind goes to leave, only to stop and go for an elbow. Never mind that Foley would have had to jump 15 feet, but someone we can’t see shoves him off the platform for a crash (nowhere near HHH), allowing HHH to win.

Rating: D. Add it to the list of matches we had to rush through to get everything included on this show. This one didn’t exactly work because of the time (shocking) but also because the boiler room was rather cramped and they couldn’t do much. The big crash at the end looked good, but it was also pretty much given away because Foley would have been six feet short on a dive even if no one had pushed him.

HHH: 2-2

The British Bulldog is looking for Vince McMahon.

Ken Shamrock vs. Chris Jericho

First Blood and Jericho is in full Buffalo Sabers hockey gear, complete with a face mask. Shamrock strikes away to start before throwing him down by the mask a few times. A posting doesn’t do much good for Shamrock but Jericho is at least rather shaken up. Back in and Shamrock kicks him low before finally getting smart enough to take off the mask. Cue Curtis Hughes for a distraction, allowing Jericho to get in some hockey stick shots. A top rope splash makes Shamrock bleed internally to wrap it up. That would be it for Shamrock in WWE, as he loses a First Blood match in less than three minutes. Thrilling.

Vince McMahon meets with British Bulldog, who was promised a WWF Title shot. Works for Vince, who gives him Undertaker’s spot in the Six Pack Challenge. Bulldog is pleased, so he’ll be special referee for the Brahma Bull Rope match. Vince doesn’t quite get it but signs of anyway. Bulldog is a stretch for a pay per view main event but if Undertaker is hurt, it’s all they could do.

HHH vs. The Rock

Brahma Bull Rope match, meaning a strap match with pinfalls and submissions, British Bulldog is guest referee and HHH, with Chyna, has to win to stay in the Six Pack Challenge. Rock hammers away to start and they’re on the floor early on. Make that out into the crowd where the camera takes a second to catch up.

HHH gets the better of things before they go back to ringside, where Rock manages a whip into the steps for two on the floor, because this is apparently falls count anywhere. Back in and HHH knocks him down, setting up a low blow. Hold on though as Bulldog and HHH get into a fight, allowing Rock to punch HHH out to the floor again.

A DDT on the floor gets another near fall (because that’s a near fall in HHH’s fifth match of the night) and they fight up to the entrance. Cue Jeff Jarrett to hit Chyna in the back with a frying pan to knock her cold, setting up a Figure Four. Jarrett lets that go in a few seconds and leaves as the people actually in the match get back inside. The facebuster drops Rock but he’s back with the Rock Bottom…and Bulldog drops HHH with a clothesline. The running powerslam sets up the Pedigree to give HHH the win.

Rating: D-. So there was interference that didn’t matter in the result of the match, interference that did matter in the main event and the bull rope didn’t add a thing to the whole thing. I get that they had to do something with another gimmick, but the falls count anywhere thing was out of nowhere and the whole thing was a mess. Maybe it’s just gimmick overload, but this was the one last bad thing on a show full of them.

HHH: 3-2

Bulldog and HHH beat Rock down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s what’s so frustrating about this show: there is a good idea in there somewhere. HHH having to run a gauntlet to stay in a title match isn’t a terrible idea (though it’s quite a good guy thing rather than something you would normally see from a mega heel) but this was all taking place in the span of less than two hours with no notice. Since wrestling five matches in one night for anyone is tricky enough, having those five matches last about half an hour at most combined. It’s hard to fathom how you can run through THAT MUCH in one night, but Russo managed to pull it off.

That’s in addition to a hardcore match and First Blood match, plus two more matches. It’s a case of what could have been and good night there was a lot of potential wasted here. This felt like a video game more than a wrestling show, and it’s also a good example of why that’s a really bad idea. Horrible execution here, even if there was something of an idea.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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