Looking at what hopefully is a change in how lame most gimmicks have been for the last few years.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-details-devil/32354/

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 1, 2014
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

The theme for tonight’s show is Cyber Monday with guest host the Anonymous Raw GM as represented by the computer. The question now is whether this is permanent or if there’s going to be a guest GM every week. Hopefully it’s the latter, though I could see the Authority eventually being revealed as the new computer GM. Let’s get to it.

We open with….the Authority! Well it’s a recap about last week but it’s still the first thing we see.

Cole opens us up with the computer but here’s Cena to interrupt things. He starts running down the computer, saying he’s just like Brock Lesnar who shows up once a year. Lesnar isn’t here tonight but neither is the Authority because Team Cena won. He’s about to tell us why his team fought harder when we have another e-mail. Cena stares Cole down and goes to the podium himself. He isn’t going to let this happen and closes the computer, but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt.

The two of them share some banter until Rollins says Cena is taking undue credit for the win at Survivor Series. Rollins remembers eliminating Cena at Survivor Series and only losing due to Sting. On the other hand, Cena remembers one man left on Team Cena eliminating three members of Team Authority, including Rollins himself. Seth: “You say Dolph, I say Sting. Whatever.”

Seth wants to know who’s next to take over Raw. Is it going to be JBL? Cena hands JBL his hat but Rollins thinks it might be Batista, drawing more heat than Rollins has drawn all night. Maybe they could give Eric Bischoff a call? The point is there’s going to be a different GM every week and the show is going to fall into chaos until Cena brings back the Authority.

Cena gets in the ring and rips on Rollins for being a normal guy in a lot of latex with two wannabe mall cops in his corner. He tells Seth to ask him to bring the Authority back nicely, including making Rollins get down on a knee. The e-mail goes off and we have a tables match set up between these two for TLC with Cena’s #1 contendership at stake. Not that Rollins can win it mind you.

The brawl is on, including with Kane coming in for a chokeslam to Cena. Seth loads up a table but Ryback comes in for the save. Kane beats him down with a chair so Rowan comes in and kicks Kane down, only to have Big Show come in with a splash. Show loads up the steps so Ziggler comes out to post him and get a ladder, but Harper runs out and drives the ladder into Dolph. Cena loads Rollins up for an AA through the table but eats the KO Punch, setting up a TripleBomb through the table with Rollins playing Reigns.

Back with Cena and company slowly being helped out. A six man tag is announced for later.

Tag Team Turmoil

Winners get a Tag Team Title match at TLC. We start with Kofi/Big E. vs. Goldust/Stardust as Kofi throws Stardust around with ease. Big E. runs Stardust down and the Big Ending/Top rope DDT (the Midnight Hour) ends Stardust at 1:36. Tyson Kidd and Cesaro are the next team as we take a break. Back with Cesaro throwing Kofi around before bringing in Kidd for some choking on the ropes.

Off to a chinlock on Kofi for a bit before he elbows up, only to be slammed back down. Kingston rolls away and tags Big E. back in to clean house, only to have Cesaro break up the Big Ending. Kidd joins him and Big E. clotheslines both guys to the floor. Kofi gets launched over the topr for a big dive, setting up a springboard shot to the face. The Dusts come out for a distraction though, allowing Kidd to roll Kofi up for the pin at 8:11 total.

The Usos are in third (of five teams) but Jimmy walks into a suplex from Cesaro. There’s almost no effect though as Jimmy comes back with the Umaga Attack in the corner before it’s off to Jey to work on the arm. Kidd comes back in for a kick to the face but Cesaro makes a blind tag, setting up a release German suplex to drop Jey as we take another break.

Back with Jimmy fighting out of another chinlock. Jimmy fights up but has to suplex Kidd down. Tyson jumps into a superkick, setting up the tag to Jey for the Superfly Splash to get us down to one on one at 16:00. Finally we have Adam Rose/the Bunny vs. the Usos for the title shot. Rose starts fast with a pair of rollups on Jimmy but the Bunny tags himself in. Adam starts arguing as the Bunny goes up. Jimmy tries a superplex but gets caught in a sunset bomb for two. More arguing allows Jey to superkick Rose, setting up the Superfly Splash for the title shot at 19:10.

Rating: C. These matches always have the same complaint; why do they never win matches as fast as they do here? At least the middle part was long to prevent this from falling into the same pattern, but it says a lot that we only have five teams and two of them were thrown together.

Naomi is watching her husband (one of the Usos) in the back when Miz/Mizdow come in to say they’ll keep the titles. Miz actually offers her a spot in a movie and gives her a card. Mizdow gives her an invisible card as Naomi rolls her eyes.

A long black limo brings Vince to the arena.

Seth Green is hosting next week.

Rowan fixes his Rubik’s Cube and reiterates that Show is a bully.

Erick Rowan vs. Big Show

Show says he doesn’t like being called a bully. Cole says Rowan has a genius IQ. Erick quickly knocks him to the floor but Show comes back in and drops Rowan with ease. He rips at Rowan’s face and puts on a chinlock to kill some time. Rowan fights up and heads outside, only to have Show nail him with the steps for the DQ at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here though the idea of Rowan being a genius is kind of interesting. There’s some potential for some interesting bits there, though I’m not sure I have any confidence in WWE to pull it off. This is likely setting up a big match between the two at TLC, which should be interesting.

Vince is excited to be on Austin’s podcast. He won’t bring back the Authority though.

We recap the Bellas cheating to beat AJ last week. You can pick AJ’s partner for a tag match later.

Fandango vs. Jack Swagger

And there’s no Swagger. We cut to the back where Colter is down with a leg injury. Fandango wins via forfeit.

Here are Rusev and Lana to complain about the Pledge of Allegiance last week and brag about Rusev winning the battle royal on Friday. Rusev implies that he hurt Colter as the Russian flag comes down for Lana’s pledge. Swagger charges out for the brawl but referees hold him back.

Damien Mizdow vs. Fernando

This is due to Torito stealing one of Mizdow’s fake Tag Team Title belts. Feeling out process to start with Fernando easily taking him down and grabbing an armbar. Back up and Mizdow grabs a quick backdrop and hooks the Figure Four for the submission at 2:25.

Jimmy Uso, Naomi’s real life husband, comes out and slaps Miz in the face, saying stay away from her.

Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth

Bray throws him around with ease to start and shouts for Ambrose. Truth fights out of a cravate and avoids the running backsplash. That just makes Bray mad but he takes a running kick to the face. The Lie Detector puts Bray down but he avoids the ax kick and plants Truth with the release Rock Bottom. A modified DDT onto the apron knocks Truth silly and it’s the Spider Walk into Sister Abigail for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Total squash here with Bray looking great most of the time. He’s getting better at making his offense look more devastating, which is the kind of thing you need from a monster like him. I’m not sure where he goes at TLC, but that match could be one heck of a war.

Post match Bray starts throwing in chairs, still shouting for Dean. He wants the truth but pulls out a ladder as we take a break. We come back with Bray sitting in his rocking chair under a ladder with a table in the corner. Bray tells us the story of Jacob and his great ladder that the angels climbed up to Heaven and back. Wyatt dreams of a ladder where he ascends the ladder to praise no one. He looks down at his world and laughs at all the creatures that God has created and thinks they look like insects. In his dreams, he sees tables, ladders and chairs.

Cue Dean for a brawl and to put Bray on the table, only to have Wyatt escape as Dean climbs the ladder. Bray runs away as referees stop dean. Ambrose goes back inside where there are about ten chairs, two tables and a ladder. He shoves the ladder over and looks at Bray’s rocking chair, eventually tossing it down and destroying it, infuriating Wyatt.

We recap the end of the opening segment with Cena going through the table after everyone came out.

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/???

Here are the poll results for AJ’s partner:

Natalya – 32%

Naomi – 48%

Alicia Fox – 20%

Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Naomi

Brie jumps Naomi before the bell, allowing Nikki to get two off a suplex. The Bellas take turns nailing Naomi in the face before Nikki hooks a chinlock. Naomi fights up and tags in AJ to clean house, including a tornado DDT to Nikki. Everything breaks down and it’s AJ vs. Nikki with a Shining Wizard staggering the champ. The Black Widow makes Nikki tap at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. As is the usual case with most Divas matches, there’s almost nothing to see here and it sets up AJ vs. Nikki again. I’m sure Brie will get involved and AJ will need to find a friend to help her. Perhaps say, Paige? Either that or Charlotte comes in and takes the title. Neither does much for me but that’s likely due to the Bellas trying to be all serious and important.

Mick Foley, in one of the best Santa Claus outfits I’ve ever seen, hypes up the big sale on WWEshop.com. I really wouldn’t have recognized him if not for his voice and the cheap pop.

Paul Heyman is here via satellite to address the stipulation for Cena vs. Rollins. First up though, he wants to address what Cena said about Lesnar being here once a year. Would you have Christmas once a year? Of course not, because it would ruin the moment. Why not just have Wrestlemania every Monday night? Now if Cena comes out of TLC still #1 contender, he has to face a fresh Brock Lesnar.

However, what if he doesn’t? Who becomes #1 contender? Would it be Rollins, who Curb Stomped Brock Lesnar but now can’t hide behind the Authority? Maybe the Undertaker? That could be interesting, if you could find him. What about Sting? You wouldn’t even have to advertise it as a retirement match, because Sting would retire after Lesnar got his hands on him. Let’s just throw the entire WWE roster against Lesnar like throwing humans to the lions in the Roman Coliseum. Heyman says Brock Lesnar is the new authority in WWE because he’s the can’t miss, must see, undisputed WWE World Heavyweight Champion.

Ryback/John Cena/Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper/Seth Rollins/Kane

They have a lot of time for this. Cena wants Rollins to start with him but gets Harper instead. That’s fine with John who knocks Harper down and pulls in Rollins for the STF. Luke makes an early save, only to walk into a belly to belly for two. Off to Ziggler for a double dropkick for two before it’s off to Ryback vs. Kane for the big power showdown. Ryback takes over with the Thesz press and Warrior Splash.

Back to Harper to hammer away in the corner until Ryback scores with the Meat Hook. Rolins comes in and gets in some shots of his own before handing it back to Luke. Ryback fights him over a suplex before picking Luke up for a very delayed suplex as we go to a break. Back with Ryback dropping Harper with the suplex. If that was continuous (it wasn’t), give Ryback the title like, now.

Off to Ziggler vs. Kane with Dolph grabbing a sleeper until Kane drives him into the corner. Kane knocks him out of the air for two and the heels take over again. Luke Gator Rolls him and we’re in the chinlock. Kane comes in for a chinlock of his own before Rollins whips Ziggler hard into the corner. Back up and Seth misses a charge in the corner, setting up the hot tag to Cena. House is quickly cleaned with Lawler suddenly being a huge Cena cheerleader. Cena cleans house and double suplexes Kane with some help from Ryback. Mercury and Noble knock knock Cena silly as we take a break.

Back again with Cena fighting out of a Harper chinlock but eating a superkick from Harper for two. Rollins comes back in for a chinlock of his own but Cena suplexes him down to escape. The hot tag brings in Ziggler to face Harper with a neckbreaker and Fameasser getting two. Everything breaks down with Cena diving onto all five guys at once. Kane escapes the AA and kicks Cena down, only to take a powerslam from Ryback. Everyone hits their secondary finishers until Ziggler counters a Harper powerbomb into a sunset flip for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: C+. This was much more of a long match than a good one with FAR too many chinlocks than were necessary. Ziggler continuing to get a push is a good thing but there needed to be more stuff here than what we were given. Ryback continues to just kind of be there, which isn’t what you want him to be doing at this point.

Post match Big Show comes in to clean house but Rowan comes out with the steps to destroy everyone. Cole seems to have officially dubbed Rowan Big Red. Show grabs Ryback and Rowan for a double chokeslam but is nice enough to stick his chin out for a superkick from Ziggler. Cena AA’s Show for Survivor Series, allowing Rowan to crush him with the steps to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a bit more entertaining than last week but it still didn’t do much for me. They’ve got most of the card set for TLC and hopefully it’s Ambrose vs. Wyatt again in the main event. If nothing else it fits the name of the show and gives you a potential huge crash for the ending. This wasn’t a great show or even very good, but it advanced some stories and got me more interested in the PPV, which is somehow less than two weeks away.

Results

Usos won tag team turmoil last eliminating Adam Rose/the Bunny – Superfly Splash to Rose

Erick Rowan b. Big Show via DQ when Show used the steps

Fandango b. Jack Swagger via forfeit

Damien Mizdow b. Fernando – Figure Four

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

AJ Lee/Naomi b. Bella Twins – Black Widow to Nikki

Dolph Ziggler/John Cena/Ryback b. Kane/Luke Harper/Seth Rollins – Sunset flip to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 4, 2010
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

A few weeks back I took another look at TNA’s Monday night debut and figured I should do the same with this famous episode of Raw. Then it turned out that I never did this show in the first place so this is going to be completely fresh. This episode centers around Bret Hart returning for the first time since the Montreal Screwjob over twelve years ago, so I think the crowd might be a bit excited. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video on Bret’s career, of course focusing on Montreal and the huge shock that he’s actually back tonight.

We waste no time as here’s Bret to open things up. Bret soaks it in for a bit before saying that a lot of people are surely wondering why he came back. He’s been trying for years but every time Vince has told him it’s not the right time. Bret is thrilled to be back to be able to talk to the WWE Universe, earning him a welcome back chant. Above all else, Bret wants to thank the people for never forgetting him. He owes every bit of his success to the fans and there are millions of memories coming back to him right here. Back in 1993 he won the first King of the Ring right here in this building…..and then Jerry Lawler jumped him.

That’s ok though, because there’s something Bret needs to take care of. Therefore, he’d like Shawn Michaels to come out here right now. Shawn comes out looking very nervous. Bret wants to bury the hatchet though and call a truce to this whole thing. Shawn sounds a bit annoyed though and has something he’s been waiting twelve years to say to Bret: he deserved what happened in Montreal. Bret disrespected him and the title so Vince did what he had to do that night.

There’s a part of Shawn that doesn’t regret it, but there’s another part of him that knows a lot has changed in the last twelve years. Shawn always respected Bret, but he wasn’t sure Bret respected him. He couldn’t stand Bret at times, but when he thinks of him, he thinks of Anaheim and the 60 minute Iron Man match that they were told no one wanted to see. But the two of them redefined this industry and gave the fans something special.

Shawn is ready to move on too and asks Bret if he’s ready. Bret thinks it’s time to end this right here in Dayton and they finally shake hands. Shawn goes to leave but comes back and hugs Bret to a nice ovation. Now Shawn leaves but Bret isn’t done yet. He wants Vince McMahon out here RIGHT NOW but there’s no boss in sight. This was an historic moment but much more symbolic than anything else.

Josh Matthews is waiting outside Vince’s office but the boss says no one calls him out. If Bret wants to have a public discussion, they can have it on his terms later tonight.

Melina has torn her ACL and has to vacate the Divas Title. Tournament time!

Divas Title Tournament First Round: Maryse vs. Brie Bella

This is before Nikki’s surgery so they’re still identical. Maryse easily shoves her into the ropes to start and poses, only to have Brie toss her down by the hair. Back up and Brie hits a running dropkick to send Maryse outside, allowing Nikki to get in a few cheap shots. Maryse runs Brie over back inside but the Bellas switch, only to have Maryse plant her with the French Kiss DDT for a fast win.

Maryse leaves when US Champion Miz comes out to say if she wins the tournament, he might call her back. She’s called this the year of Maryse but Miz declares this his decade. Maryse looks very pleased.

MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. Mark Henry

Winner gets a US Title shot and Miz is on commentary. We don’t see Carlito or Henry’s entrances as they come out during the break. The match is joined in progress with Henry down on the floor with Swagger suplexing Carlito for two. A belly to belly gets two on MVP with Carlito making the save.

Jack splashes Carlito in the corner but Henry comes back in to clean house. He slaps a bearhug on Carlito but Swagger makes a fast save. That’s fine with Henry who puts Swagger in a fireman’s carry rack (not all that effective) when MVP makes a save of his own. MVP sends Henry and Carlito outside, followed by the Playmaker on Swagger for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here due to the time but they actually had a bit of a story going. MVP got the win far faster than he should have been able to but at least it wasn’t horrible while it lasted. I’m still not sure how much the Playmaker would actually hurt though as it’s basically just a swinging neckbreaker.

Jericho and Big Show have a meeting before their Tag Team Title shot. If Jericho loses, he’s off Raw but he has an idea for Bret.

After a break, Jericho comes in to see Bret and mentions learning the Walls by practicing on Bret’s brother Keith. The big idea is that Bret should be the guest referee during the title match tonight when Jericho and Big Show challenge DX. Jericho thinks Bret can get his revenge on Shawn and call the bell in a hurry but Bret wants to keep the controversy behind him. Bret: “I don’t want to be like you.” Also, he remembers Jericho screaming louder than anyone else in the Dungeon.

Hornswoggle is with HHH and it’s time to schill toys. Shawn comes in and says it’s time for their match when Santino comes in dressed as Jericho, claiming a conspiracy. HHH has Horny attack Santino before talking with Shawn about the match as the two scream in the background. DX heads off for their match with HHH whistling like a dog to get Hornswoggle to come with him. Horny leaves for a cookie.

Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Chris Jericho/Big Show

DX is defending and Jericho’s job is at stake. Horny is crawling around at ringside because he’s a pest. Show tosses Shawn into the corner to start but Michaels ducks a chop and hits some of his own. HHH comes in but Show suplexes both of them with ease as we take an early break. Back with Jericho knocking HHH down and walking around a lot.

A side slam from Big Show drops HHH as well before he just walks over the Game’s stomach. Now it’s Show’s turn to walk around and waste time before it’s off to Jericho for the Hogan hand to the ear. Chris hooks a chinlock for a bit before HHH comes back with a spinebuster to put both guys down. Show comes in to break up the tag but misses a Vader Bomb. Now the hot tag brings in Shawn to hammer on Big Show, nip up a lot, then hammer on him again. He knocks Show down for the top rope elbow but Jericho crotches him down. Horny comes in to sit on Show, which thankfully has no effect.

Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam for two but Jericho comes in with the Walls, only to have Shawn kick away. The Pedigree plants Jericho but it’s Show making a save. HHH breaks up another chokeslam attempt and dropping the big man with the Pedigree, only to have Big Show roll outside. Jericho rolls up HHH for two before knocking him silly with a Codebreaker. A very delayed cover gets two but Hornswoggle comes in again, only to get kicked in the face by Jericho. The distraction lets Shawn superkick him down for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Good match here, especially due to having Hornswoggle get kicked in the face. Jericho losing the big one is as classic as you’re going to get with him and there was no way DX was losing the titles just a month after winning them in the first place. Jericho and Big Show were never a long term thing anyway so splitting them here is fine.

HHH says that’s bye bye for Jericho and if Chris isn’t down with that, they have two words for him. Big Show walks off, leaving Jericho to face the Goodbye Song. He would be Smackdown Champion next month.

Orton comes in to see Vince and has a business deal for him. Vince isn’t interested because of all the horrible things Orton did to his family, which he says were far worse than what Bret did in 1997. Orton’s idea: he’ll punt Bret in exchange for being #30 in the Royal Rumble. The boss isn’t interested and throws Orton out. The camera stays on Randy when he runs into Legacy. If Orton loses tonight, they’re going to throw him out and beat him up.

Mike Tyson is guest host next week.

We recap Sheamus getting himself disqualified to save his title against Cena last week.

Here’s Sheamus with something to say. He talks about beating Cena last week when everyone said he couldn’t, so his next title defense at the Royal Rumble will not be against Cena. Sheamus wants a new challenge so cue Evan Bourne who says he wants an opportunity. That’s fine with Sheamus, who says if Evan wins here, he gets a title shot at the Rumble.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus

Bourne hammers away to start and nails a kick from the apron, followed by Air Bourne less than a minute in. Sheamus powers him out to the floor on the kickout and catches Evan in a fall away slam. The fans chant for Cena but get a Brogue Kick to Evan’s head, setting up the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) for the pin.

We get a nice tribute to Dr. Death Steve Williams who recently passed away due to throat cancer at 49.

Same Bret video that opened the show.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

This is the last match in a good feud between the two and Legacy is at ringside. Kofi is in the serious black attire here. An early headlock and shoulder give Orton an early advantage but he eats an elbow to the jaw. Kofi sends him outside for a baseball slide before countering the Elevated DDT into a backdrop to put Orton outside again as we take a break.

Back with Orton holding a chinlock before stomping on the ribs for good measure. He talks a lot of trash and stands around a bit more before sending Kofi chest first into the buckle. A catapult sends Kofi throat first into the bottom rope for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Kofi finally comes back but a double cross body puts both guys down. It’s Kingston up first and winning a brief slugout to set up the Boom Drop. A high cross body gets two and the SOS is good for the same. Trouble in Paradise is mostly blocked and a quick RKO gives Orton the pin.

Rating: C+. Another decent match between them but Kofi’s big moment had already come and gone. He’s never reached this high of a level again, even though he seemed ready to burst through the ceiling to the next level. Orton absorbing the kick and RKOing him for the pin pretty much killed him dead though.

Legacy doesn’t seem to care.

Here’s Vince to call out Bret. He wishes us a happy New Year but doesn’t think he needs to call Hart out. The Montreal Screwjob is buried and he considers his issues with Bret to be the same. Vince hypes up Mike Tyson appearing next week when Bret comes out without music. The boss thinks the fans want Montreal to be forgotten, but Vince will never forget Bret spitting on him and then disrespecting him when Bret was inducted into the Hall of Fame. He’d like to hear what Bret has to say, but it better start with “I’m sorry.”

That’s not what Bret has in mind though. He’s here to bury the hatchet tonight and he’s halfway there. Bret knows Vince wants this just as much as he does, but Vince says he wants to kick Bret in the guts. He remembers Bret in the Wrestlemania II battle royal and knew that he was going to be the future then and there.

That brings him to Bret’s dad Stu, who brought a lot of people into the business. Vince wants to put Stu in the Hall of Fame and Bret likes the idea. He thanks Vince for it but Vince says it’s time to thank Bret for everything he’s done over the years. They shake hands and Vince kicks Bret low to end the show. This led to a Wrestlemania match that I still think was done well.

Overall Rating: C-. On the other hand, this show wasn’t done all that well. They knew TNA was having their big night here so the reaction seemed to be to keep things the same other than Bret. There really wasn’t anything important here aside from that, with even Cena not showing up. It’s not the worst show ever but it comes and goes with nothing else standing out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/

Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2014
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Tom Phillips

The Authority is gone, for now at least, and much like Raw we don’t have a permanent boss. There’s a chance that WWE will just use the same rotating boss idea like they’re doing on Raw, because goodness knows wrestling fans just aren’t smart enough to get by without a GM pointing the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Sting montage. That’s still so strange to see in WWE.

Opening sequence.

First up is MizTV with Miz saying he became WWE Tag Team Champion at Survivor Series. The fans of course cheer for Mizdow. Tonight’s guest is Big Show and we see a clip of Rowan knocking him to the floor on Monday. Miz says a lot of people aren’t happy with Big Show but the only problem Miz sees is that Show joined Team Cena. Show is so glad that someone finally gets it. He had to look out for himself because no one else will and no one knows his situation but him.

Cue Daniel Bryan for an interruption and a huge ovation. On Monday, Show said that if anyone has something to say, they should come say it to his face. Well Bryan has something to say: he’s in charge tonight. First of all, we’re going to have Ryback vs. Seth Rollins. That’s not all though, as a title is going to be defended tonight when Luke Harper defends against Dolph Ziggler.

Miz tells Daniel to stop stealing his spotlight. Bryan: “Mizdow already did that.” Show wants Bryan out, but Daniel has something for Big Show too. On Monday, Rusev refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance, so tonight he’s defending the US Title in a 20 man battle royal, which starts right now.

US Title: Battle Royal

Rusev, Big Show, Miz, Damien Mizdow, Erick Rowan, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Diego, Fernando, Titus O’Neil, Jack Swagger, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose, Sin Cara, Cesaro, Goldust, Stardust, Justin Gabriel, Curtis Axel

It’s a huge mess to start with Show crushing Los Matadores in the corner before throwing Gabriel and Cara out with ease. Rowan does the same to Slater and Cesaro punches Axel over the top. Los Matadores throw out Rose but Show tosses both of them at the same time. We get the showdown with Rowan and Big Show and Erick gets the better of it by knocking Show into the corner and eliminating him pretty easily. Show isn’t done though as he grabs Rowan from behind, allowing Rusev to dump him.

A bunch of guys go after Rusev to no avail as we take a break. Back with Miz saving himself and no new eliminations as far as I can tell. We have Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, Miz, Damien Mizdow, Stardust, Goldust, Rusev, Titus O’Neil and Jack Swagger to go. Stardust low bridges Miz to the floor so Mizdow eliminates himself. Swagger puts out the Dusts before Titus knocks Jimmy out.

Jey dumps Titus, Kidd eliminates Jey and we’re down to four: Swagger, Kidd, Cesaro and Rusev. Everyone goes after Swagger but he fights his way off the and back inside. He throws all three evil foreigners into the corner and gives Rusev the Vader Bomb, only to have to save himself from Cesaro. Kidd dives at Jack but gets dumped, allowing Cesaro to send Swagger to the apron. He backdrops Cesaro out but Rusev hits the running superkick to eliminate Swagger and retain at 13:27.

Rating: D+. This was a fast moving battle royal that didn’t have any significant threat to the champ. Show and Rowan could have won just on size and power alone but Rusev is going to have the title a lot longer than he has so far. You could tell there wasn’t going to be much here with all those tag teams in there though.

Kane is working merchandise tonight when Santino comes up. He mocks Kane’s Ryback shirt, gets stared at, and runs away.

Bray Wyatt is here for a chat. When Ambrose started climbing that ladder on Sunday, he looked like an angel climbing up to Heaven. It almost brought a smile to Bray’s face, but there’s not enough room for people like them up there. He could feel those chairs crashing down on him and it almost made him think he failed Dean for the first time. They have reached the point of no return and what happens next will change Ambrose. Tables, ladders and chairs. Bray says it over and over because he’s going to enjoy torturing Ambrose’s body with all those things. Follow the buzzards.

TLC ad, set to Jingle Bells.

Nikki Bella vs. Emma

Non-title. Nikki slams Emma down with ease but gets caught in the Dilemma for a few seconds. A big slap puts the champ down but Emma runs into an elbow to the jaw. Rack Attack ends this at 1:29.

Post match Nikki has Brie hold the title and say it’s time to hear the truth about AJ Lee. We’ve heard her sob story over and over, but Nikki has worked harder. She’s what a real Divas Champion looks like and AJ will always be that pathetic little girl from New Jersey. AJ runs in and nails Brie as Nikki bails. Nikki had good passion in her promo, but trying to take her seriously as this hard working woman who has clawed her way to the top cracks me up every time.

Kane has destroyed the merchandise stand.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Ryback quickly shoves him down so Rollins grabs a headlock to take away the momentum. A slam sends Rollins rolling to the floor but he comes back in for some unsold chops. Ryback gets all fired up but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Back in and Rollins nails a dropkick for two and puts on a front facelock. Rollins fights out of a quick Shell Shock attempt and hits the Downward Spiral into the corner for two. They head outside with Ryback going after Mercury, only to have Rollins send him into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a headlock until Ryback lifts him up into a kind of slingshot belly to back suplex. Ryback’s powerbomb is escaped and an enziguri connects, followed by a superkick for two. Seth misses a splash in the corner so Ryback lifts him up, only to be countered into a running buckle bomb for two. That was a surprising power display from Rollins. The big guy backdrops Rollins onto the Stooges before planting him with a spinebuster back inside. There’s the Meat Hook but Kane runs in for the DQ at 14:46.

Rating: C-. They telegraphed the ending with that shot of the destroyed merchandise stand and the match felt like it was just killing time until we got to this point. That and Kane runs in on at least a match a week anymore so you had to know this was coming. At least Ryback should be able to destroy him in a few weeks.

Rollins and Kane take Ryback down and Kane destroys him with a chair.

Curtis Axel/Slater Gator vs. New Day

New Day is very excited to be making their debut here. Woods dropkicks Axel down to start before bringing Kofi in to kick him in the chest. Big E. nails the Warrior Splash but stops to wipe the sweat off his face. Axel finally takes Xavier down and it’s off to Slater for some stomps to the chest. The heels start taking over until Woods flips out of a suplex and tags out to Kofi. Everything breaks down and Big E. backdrops Kofi onto Titus and Axel. Back in and a combination top rope DDT/Big Ending puts Slater away at 3:23.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but what are you expecting from two former Intercontinental Champions and Woods? That’s the problem with a team like this: two of the three members have already had success, so it’s not like them beating a team of jobbers really means anything. It’s not a bad idea but they need to actually go somewhere instead of acting like these wins mean much.

Recap of the Authority having to leave and Bryan’s revenge on all of the Team Authority members.

Bryan makes Ryback vs. Kane in a Chairs match for TLC. Oh and YES he will be back soon.

Stardust says the Cosmic Key is gone but their anguish goes on and on. He says each day is part of the endless march to oblivion and welcome to the Black Hole. Goldust declares that darkness has fallen on the New Day. There’s the first feud.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Ziggler is challenging and goes right at Harper with a rollup like he beat him with on Sunday. A dropkick puts Luke on the floor and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler fighting back with Cole saying it’s rally time. A high cross body gets two but Harper sends him face first into the buckle. We hit the chinlock from the champ but Ziggler hits a quick jawbreaker. Back up and Ziggler hammers away before getting two off the big elbow. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph slips out of a powerbomb and hits the running DDT for two.

Harper gets the same off the sitout Boss Man Slam and Ziggler nails a Fameasser for yet another two. Luke comes back with the big boot and Batista Bomb for two more and Harper is getting shocked. Why he’s shocked I’m not sure as that’s the third time that combination has gotten a near fall. They head outside with Ziggler being launched over the announcers’ table, only to pop up with a superkick, allowing him to beat the count for the win at 10:52.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as these two have good chemistry and Ziggler can take big bumps like almost no other. Harper is going to be a good dragon for someone to slay and take the belt but I can’t imagine him as a long term champion. They’ll likely have a ladder match at the pay per view which should be fun.

Post match Harper lays Ziggler out with the discus lariat but takes too long getting the belt, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like a B house show that was filmed and aired on a Friday night. Nothing on here meant anything and the only thing that mattered was Ryback vs. Kane being announced for the pay per view. That being said, it wasn’t really bad or anything, but it’s back to the old Smackdown standard: it came, it aired for two hours, it had some passable matches and I’m never going to think of it again. That makes it far more dull than bad, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Results

Rusev won a battle royal, last eliminating Jack Swagger

Nikki Bella b. Emma – Rack Attack

Ryback b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane interfered

New Day b. Curtis Axel/Slater Gator – Big Ending/Top rope DDT combination to Slater

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper via countout

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This was a show where I’ve needed some time to digest everything that I saw. Now everyone knew that this was a one match show coming in, but I don’t think people were expecting to see something like this. Obviously the big moment is coming at the end but there was some other interesting stuff before then. Let’s get to it.

I’m going to gloss over the pre-show matches as there’s just nothing to talk about. Fandango is somehow even less interesting than he was before and Swagger vs. Cesaro has been done to death. Neither match was any good, but they REALLY don’t need to have an hour long pre-show. That makes a show four hours, meaning the three hour Raw is now the short show. Let that sink in for a minute.

The show itself opened with the first of our filler segments. Vince, Cena and the Authority came out to reiterate the stipulations of the main event, with the added caveat that only Cena could bring the Authority back in the future. Not only did this not segment need to happen to start a pay per view, but it didn’t need to happen at all. This could have been announced later and another match could have been added in to fill some of the time. But instead we needed a fifteen minute speech because we hadn’t heard HHH and Stephanie talk enough.

The opening match was the four way tag for the titles, with the Dusts dropping the belts down to Miz/Mizdow. This whole thing was a way to get somewhere with Mizdow’s popularity, which is the only way they can go. It was a watchable match but at the same time there was too much going on to have it be anything good.

Los Matadores and the Usos were just kind of there to fill in spots and make sure we didn’t have heel vs. heel. Again the match felt like they were filling time at points, because there are only five matches on the card and what else are they supposed to do? Miz celebrating with both belts was a nice touch as you would expect.

Adam Rose and the Bunny played with toys when Slater Gator came in to set up a match later. This would be more filler.

One group of bad Divas plus Natalya beat another group of bad Divas plus Paige. This match was an absolute disaster with the moves being botches, almost no flow to the match, and everyone being all over the place. The idea was supposed to be Paige vs. the World, but she would have been better off without her partners anyway.

Ambrose and Wyatt had a good but not great brawl to set up the next match at TLC. Thankfully they announced that in advance as it would have felt like a waste of time given how obvious they were with where it’s going. The match itself wasn’t great but it was a nice shot in the arm after an hour of uninteresting stuff. The worst part of this whole thing though: Ambrose doing the Wyatt spider pose and Cole shouting “THAT’S WHAT BRAY WYATT DOES!”

I can’t stand this talking down to the audience and acting like they can’t remember anything longer than eight seconds ago. Yeah some of the fans are watching for the first time, but just let them think that Dean is being insane instead of treating the fans who have watched for more than a day like imbeciles. In other words, makes Michael Cole SHUT UP FOR ONCE!

The comedy tag match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Smackdown. The Bunny continues to get on Rose’s nerves but they need to get somewhere with it already as this isn’t getting anyone anywhere.

Roman Reigns did a nice satellite interview, saying everything he’s said in the previous ones. Apparently he’s been taking acting lessons recently and they actually seem to be paying off. He felt a lot more natural here instead of reading off a script (which he likely was).

Nikki Bella won the Divas Title from AJ in a match designed off Sheamus vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania XXVIII, complete with the kiss to AJ. In theory the Bellas are back together, making the last few months of driving me crazy TOTALLY POINTLESS. Nikki did look good though.

The main event was a nice long match which lived up to expectations, complete with a bunch of surprises. Big Show knocked Henry out in about fifteen seconds and we had the best part of the match: HHH’s emotional roller coaster. Yeah I get annoyed when he takes the better part of forever to get anywhere with his promos, but when he calms down and lets his body language do the talking, he’s incredible effective.

The match slowed down for a bit until everything broke down and a Curb Stomp into a spinwheel kick from Rusev was enough to pin Ryback. Yeah after the last few weeks of it being all about Ryback, he was out via pin in about eight minutes. That more or less ends the return push that he had going on as Ryback continues to lose the big matches. It crippled Lex Luger’s career and it’s gotten Ryback as well. Granted not being very good in the ring has hurt him too.

It slowed again with Big Show taking a long beating from everyone. Then for a change of pace, Ziggler took a long beating from everyone. It all broke down again with Rusev throwing Ziggler around on the floor, only to miss a splash through the table, resulting in a countout. They had to get rid of him somehow so it was this or a DQ. Twelve minutes passed between Ryback and Rusev’s eliminations to give you an idea of how much things slowed down. The next one was a bit faster as Rollins Curb Stomped Rowan, setting up the discus lariat from Harper for a pin just a few minutes later.

Then things got interesting as Big Show knocked Cena out, turning heel for probably the fifteenth time in his WWE career. Rollins got an easy pin and Big Show walked out, making it 3-1 with Ziggler facing Kane, Harper and Rollins. This was VERY interesting as it put the focus on Dolph instead of Cena, which is exactly what this match should have been about: making someone else into a star. Cena doesn’t need a win like this, so let someone else get a big rub.

Ziggler was basically dead at this point but kept fighting, which was exactly the story they had been setting up for the last several weeks. He took out Kane with a superkick and Zig Zag before taking one heck of a beating from Harper. Luke got frustrated when he couldn’t pin him though and Ziggler grabbed a rollup and some jeans for the pin.

This sequence was right out of the Shawn Michaels playbook and that’s as good as you can get. The key thing to Ziggler’s offense is that it can come from out of nowhere and it’s not a huge stretch for him to do this. The superkick, Zig Zag and rollup are things that you can do out of nowhere and again it played to the Ziggler Will Not Quit idea. That was just a warmup for the good stuff though.

Rollins and Ziggler had an awesome six or seven minute sequence of near falls and missed finishers, including Rollins nearly hitting a top rope Curb Stomp. Ziggler finally took over and hit a Zig Zag but the Stooges came in for the save. HHH made another save after another Zig Zag and laid out Dolph with a Pedigree. All hope was lost (including Cena, who you would think might have come out for the save, despite him seemingly being the worst teammate EVER in the buildup to this match) but instead STING debuted, laid out HHH and put Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hadn’t moved for about eight minutes) for the final pin.

So yeah, STING debuted. That was up there with Cena turning heel and the Streak being broken on the list of things that I won’t believe until I see for myself. He laid out HHH with a Death Drop (incredible selling by the Game) and gave Ziggler the pin because Sting fights against corrupt authority. This was the big moment that people are going to remember and likely sets up the big match at Wrestlemania.

The match itself was all about the drama and it knocked that out of the park. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest on those near falls and the and I had to see who was going to win in the end. They did a great job of making me guess and that’s all you’re supposed to do in something like this. Sting coming out was a great shock and the whole thing worked like a charm.

Overall, no one is going to remember anything but the main event and Sting debuting. It’s not a great or even really good show, but the main event was all it was supposed to be and a lot more. Sting debuting is one of the moments that you’re going to remember for years to come, even if it doesn’t go anywhere long term. The main event rocked the house and made you forget how horrible the rest of the show, save for Ambrose vs. Wyatt, really was. Good stuff for the most part but just fast forward past most of it.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2014
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming off one of the most eventful main events in a very long time as Sting actually debuted last night after roughly thirteen years of waiting. Team Cena prevailed over Team Authority with Dolph Ziggler actually hanging on until the end after Cena was eliminated when Big Show turned heel. Again. Other than that we’ve got less than three weeks before TLC and what might be the main event is already set with Dean Ambrose set to face Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of last night’s show.

Here’s the Authority to open things up because where would we be without them? Stephanie talks about how unfair last night was and blames the loss on Sting. They stand before you tonight as winners instead of losers because they still have corporate responsibilities. Stephanie starts crying and the fans chant YES. HHH knows there is no one here that could handle the Authority’s power.

We live in a universe governed by the laws of finance and commerce. They have to make decisions based on supply and demand, not what’s popular. Is Cena going to do that? Ziggler? Sting maybe? HHH doesn’t know why Sting did that last night but maybe he was trying to make his career relevant by standing in the ring with HHH for thirty seconds.

He goes into a speech from the end of A Few Good Men (almost word for word) before asking who makes the decisions now. There is no Cena, Ziggler or Ryback without the Authority and there is no WWE Universe. What are the fans going to do without Raw now? They can sit on a couch and live in their pathetic failures, because the Authority is going to leave now, but you all will beg for them to come back.

Cue Daniel Bryan of all people for one of the biggest YES chants this side of Wrestlemania. He doesn’t say anything but does the YES pose all the way up the aisle, right in the Authority’s face. That certainly woke the fans up and that’s exactly what you bring a guy like Bryan back for. Bryan stays in the ring as we go to a break.

Back from commercial with Bryan talking about how great it feels to be back in this ring tonight. It felt great to kick the Authority to the curb, but that brings him to Team Authority. As for tonight, Bryan is in charge of Raw and asks all of the losing members of Team Authority to come out here right now. Cole calls each member a loser because Cole doesn’t understand the meaning of the words “subtle” or “neutral”.

Bryan says he won’t be vindictive like the Authority so no titles are in danger and no one is being put in unfair matches. We’ll start with Rollins, who tonight gets to team with two superstars to face Cena and Ziggler. Rollins grabs a mic but it doesn’t work at first so we get some quick banter between him and Bryan.

Seth holds up the briefcase and says he’s still the future of this company. He thinks his partners will be something like Hornswoggle and El Torito or JBL and Cole. Bryan won’t be making the selections though. Instead, it’s in the WWE Universe’s hands. Daniel however, does get to pick the options. It will either be Mark Henry/Luke Harper, Mark Henry/Kane or the Stooges.

Bryan starts the voting as Rollins runs down the Stooges as being pretty bad at their job before storming off. Next up is Kane, who really shouldn’t be Director of Operations anymore. Bryan puts it up to the people and they give him a resounding NO. He won’t fire Kane but he will reassign him. Starting tonight, Kane is Director of Food and Drink, meaning he’ll be known as Concessions Kane. A guy brings out popcorn and hot dogs for Kane to carry throughout the night as we’re in comedy mode.

That brings us to Rusev and Lana. Bryan thinks the US Champion should be a bit more patriotic so he has some options. Rusev can either defend the title in a battle royal against the rest of the roster, or he can pledge allegiance to a big US flag in the middle of the ring. Lana freaks out as the crowd chants USA.

After they storm off, it’s Harper’s chance. He won the title last week with the help of the Stooges (“who you can vote for as Option C on the WWE App!”), but tonight he’s having to go it alone. Bryan needs an opponent for him though, so how about the Lunatic Fringe Dean Ambrose?

That leaves just Henry, who tries to leave before Bryan can do anything for him. Bryan was backstage when a big guy came up to him and asked for a favor. Naturally Bryan said yes because that’s his thing, so tonight a guy is going to get his chance to avenge his loss to Mark Henry a few years back at Wrestlemania, so tonight it’s Henry vs. Ryback. Bryan gave him the match because he’s running Raw tonight, and “THAT’S WHAT I DO!”

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Ryback jumps him from the aisle and sends Henry head first into the post. He drives Henry into the barricade a few times but referees pull him off as we go to a break without a bell. Back with the opening bell and Henry already staggered. He’s still able to knock Ryback down a few times but Ryback comes back with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook connects for the pin at 55 seconds.

HHH and Stephanie are walking through the back when they run into Vince. Stephanie apologizes for letting them down but Vince says he isn’t an angry man. He is however disappointed by the two of them coming up against insurmountable odds. Somehow, someway the two of them have to fix this though. Vince yells at Stephanie for being sorry because he’s never been sorry for a thing in his life. That might change when he has to spend Thanksgiving with them though. All three leave in a limo with Vince still ranting about sorry.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Luke hammers away to start and drives in some shots to the throat in the corner. Dean takes him right back down and drives in crossface shots to the nose. It’s off to the arm of all things with Harper in early trouble. Luke is sent to the floor for a big dive as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock but Dean fights up, only to be sent chest first into the buckle.

Ambrose fights back with right hands but his boot to the ribs is caught and Harper shoves it back, sending Dean face first onto the mat. After a quick chinlock, Harper sends him out to the floor yet again. Another whip sends Dean into the barricade but Ambrose comes back with a hard clothesline. They head back inside with Dean grabbing a rollup for two and a crossbody for the same.

Harper gets tied up in the ropes for the running dropkick, followed by the Fameasser to drive Harper face first into the mat for two. Dean hammers away until Harper grabs the sitout Boss Man Slam for two of his own. Ambrose breaks up a superplex attempt and hits his standing elbow drop, only to eat a superkick. That’s fine with Dean who hits the Rebound Clothesline for two more. The champ goes and gets his title but Dean hits the suicide dive to prevent him from walking out. Back in and Harper fights off Dirty Deeds until he shoves Dean into the referee…..for the DQ at 14:39.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but I liked that they didn’t just have Bray run in for the DQ like I was expecting. The ending was stupid but at least they kept both guys looking strong. Dean facing the former Wyatt Family is a good idea, though I’m glad they didn’t put the title on him. The feud doesn’t need to be for a belt.

Post match Dean gets a chair and hits Dirty Deeds before bringing in a table and ladder. Bray sneaks in through the crowd and lays him out though, including Sister Abigail on the floor.

Big E. New Day video.

Here are Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy with the latter in a mask, shorts and no shirt. Larry says he’s ready to go King Kong Bundy on someone but Santino says we’re not here to wrestle. He takes off the mask and apologizes for all the eye candy. Larry says he beat up Savage one night in Florida. Santino: “Randy Savage???” Larry: “No, Fred.” The Cable Guy says he’s a fan of Steve Austin and says he’d be Stone Cold Creamery (Cold Stone Creamery is an ice cream store chain). Cue Goldust and Stardust to get in Larry’s face and that’s it.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust

Miz/Mizdow are defending and Mizdow has toy titles again. Stardust slams Miz to start but misses an elbow. Miz tries to tag out but Stardust takes him into the corner for a chest rake. It’s off to Goldust for an atomic drop, meaning Mizdow comes in to mock an atomic drop of his own. Miz dives into a punch to the ribs and Stardust breaks up another tag attempt by knocking Miz to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Stardust in control of Miz until a jawbreaker puts both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mizdow to clean house to a big reaction. He nails a quick Reality Check on Stardust and actually nips up. Stardust snaps his throat across the top though and things slow down again with Goldust holding a chinlock as a trainer checks on Miz.

A powerslam gets two on Mizdow and Stardust’s release gordbuster gets the same. Miz is telling the trainer to stay off the face as Mizdow makes his comeback and puts Starudst in the Figure Four, only to have Goldust make the save. Mizdow sends him outside but Miz makes a blind tag and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust to retain at 10:16.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it continues the story as we get closer to Mizdow’s face turn. It would be nice if he started backing up the character in the ring and we got a glimpse of that tonight. Nothing great here but I’m glad they didn’t change the titles back just a night later.

The concessions manager yells at Kane and puts him in charge of chips.

Lana says this isn’t fair, just like America. Daniel Bryan pops up on screen and gives him them the same options, but gives us a supervisor to make sure it works well. Cue Sgt. Slaughter as the big flag comes down. Sarge leads them in the Pledge but Rusev won’t bring himself to do it. Rusev stands there for awhile and finally throws the mic down. It’s time to fight and Slaughter takes off the hat but Jack Swagger comes in for the save. This story again?

Kane gives fans food when Santino and Larry show up in line. Santino winds up wearing mustard and Larry gets a hot dog because Kane is a fan.

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Rematch of the pre-show match last night. Fandango hits a hard elbow to the jaw to start but Justin knocks him off the top rope. A big clothesline flips Justin inside out though as Rosa looks on from ringside. The top rope legdrop ends Gabriel at 1:57.

Here’s a smiling Big Show in a suit for his explanation about last night. He wants to make sure everything is cool because he saw a lot of things online that didn’t sit well with him. Last night he did some things and now people see him as a bad guy. In reality he’s a human being who made a mistake.

Surely everyone has done that before though, so the people should be able to forgive him. He has a medical condition that makes him this big, but on the inside he’s a person just like us. Last night he saw John Cena vulnerable and did what he thought he had to do. Big Show is sure that everyone can forgive him because he wouldn’t have done that if he knew Team Cena was going to win anyway. He’s been putting his body on the line for the last twenty years and maybe the fans owe him this one.

The fans say he sold out and Big Show gets angry in a hurry. He’s heard all those people in the back that are calling him a coward and wants one of them to come out right now. Cue Erick Rowan, who Show calls an upside down Sheamus. Show could understand if this was John Cena or someone, but Erick Rowan? He mocks Rowan a bit before Rowan takes off the mask. That earns Erick a warning to leave before he gets hurt but Rowan says he doesn’t like bullies and the fight is on. Show is quickly knocked to the floor and he breaks the steps before leaving.

The Stooges come up to Rollins in the back and are both about a foot shorter. Ziggler comes in and says he’s asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for the Stooges.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ comes out with the mic and says Nikki has turned the title into a new accessory. As for Brie, “lesbihonest”, she’s an even bigger skank than her sister. Nikki offers a quick distraction so Brie can nail a hard clothesline for two. We hit a hammerlock for a bit before AJ fights up for a quick Shining Wizard for two. Nikki shouts about Brie Mode and another distraction lets Brie grab a rollup for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. The Bellas continue to drag down whatever segment they’re in. I know WWE thinks we care about them because they’re on a reality show but for the love of all things good and holy they’re just another pair of lame Divas. Yeah they’ve had their moments, but they’re treated like the second coming of Trish and Lita and it just doesn’t work.

AJ yells at the Bellas post match and says talent is not sexually transmitted.

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

Larry the Cable Guy and Santino are on commentary to dance with the Bunny. Rose grabs him by the ears and throws him into the ring for some yelling. Rose tags out to the Bunny tos tart and it’s time for comedy. The Bunny hits a quick middle rope dropkick and stomps on Tyson in the corner. Tyson finally smacks the Bunny in the face before it’s off to Natalya….who immediately tags back to Tyson. Jerry explains the idea of the match (both teams are having relationship problems) as Ada gets two off a spinebuster. The Bunny trips Rose by mistake and Kidd hooks a rollup for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: D. We’re to the point now where there’s only so much more they can do before they unmask the Bunny. That being said, there needs to be a good reveal and I’m really not sure who is going to be a big enough deal. Larry and Santino were just kind of there and have to do stuff like this for promoting a DVD and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ryback wants to find the concession stand.

New Day video with all three together. They’re debuting next week.

Ryback shows up to the concession stand and asks for two cans of tuna, a protein shake and a can of beef jerkey. Kane throws a hot dog at him instead so Ryback shoves the table into him. The Big Red Machine throws popcorn and ketchup at him and leaves. Ryback throws a bag of nuts at Kane and that’s it. Funny right?

Cena is in the back with Ziggler and praises Dolph for his win last night. Ziggler says he promised to find a way to survive and that’s exactly what he did. However, it took a miracle in the form of the man called Sting. Cena thanks Sting and Ziggler for changing history and giving the fans all the power. They’re going to steal the show tonight.

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/???/???

Bryan comes out before the match to introduce Rollins and the partners. In a vote closer than I was expecting, the Stooges win with 93% of the vote. They come out in their suits and it’s time to fight. Noble starts with Cena but Rollins makes him take his tie off. The look on Rollins’ face is hysterical as Cena lets Noble grab a headlock. Mercury comes in and runs the ropes, only to accidentally knock his partner down. Seth has to break up an AA attempt and they go outside for a breather as we take a break.

Back with Cena in a bit of trouble until Noble misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Ziggler for some clotheslines and the running DDT to Noble, but a Mercury distraction lets Rollins nail him to take over. Back to Noble for a slam and a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ziggler pops up with a dropkick. Mercury comes in and allows the hot tag to Cena as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Stooges try to save Rollins. This earns them a whip into each other and an AA and Zig Zag for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but what else are you expecting here? Rollins not getting pinned is fine but the match really wasn’t anything to see. Cena and Ziggler beating up the Stooges is fine, even if a bit boring. This was a dull way to end a dull show though and I really didn’t care.

Bryan throws Rollins into the ring for a superkick and AA of his own. Posing looks to end the show…..but we have an e-mail from the general manager. The fans groan as Cole says the line. The party is officially over because next week is Cyber Monday when order and discipline return to Raw. The e-mail sound goes off over and over to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight wasn’t very good but it really wasn’t supposed to be anything big. This was the show taking a night off after such a big show last night and while it’s annoying, its kind of necessary as we’re setting up the mostly meaningless TLC show before the Rumble season begins. The show wasn’t much to see but nothing on it was all that terrible. That’s more than I can say about Raw a lot of the time so we’ll call this one a dull effort.

Results

Ryback b. Mark Henry – Meat Hook

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose hit the referee

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Goldust/Stardust – Skull Crushing Finale to Stardust

Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Top rope legdrop

Brie Bella b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Adam Rose/The Bunny – Rollup to Rose

Dolph Ziggler/John Cena b. Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Zig Zag to Mercury

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I know I’m running late with this but you try putting out a book and having a bad sinus infection and see if you can write about a show featuring a grumpy cat. Anyway, this was the go home show for Survivor Series and the big question was how would the teams look going into the only match that matters on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

The show opened, naturally, with the Authority. Trips and Steph went on a rampage about WCW and how this is all they have and all that jazz. They recruited Ryback, showed him clips of Cena insulting him last year, and were told that Ryback is on his own. Somehow, this again took about twenty minutes. That’s one of the most annoying things about WWE anymore: these opening segments that you could cover in half the time. I would ask why that’s so hard, but it’s because HHH talks slower than a turtle and Stephanie goes on forever with the same bad acting over and over.

Immediately after the promo that would not die, Harper beat Ziggler to win the Intercontinental Title. This made the most sense as there’s almost no way that Ziggler can have all those matches against big names and not eventually drop the title. It’s even better that they had Rollins attack Ziggler before the match so it wasn’t even a clean loss. That’s what I’m talking about by protecting someone and they did it well with Ziggler.

Miz and Mizdow spent most of the night talking to the Grumpy Cat. Thankfully they kept this short but it was still stupid.

The Bunny cost Adam Rose another match, so the hopping enthusiast….uh…..shall we say, simulated something by thrusting his hips behind Rose. Again, it was stupid.

Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose said the same things about Dean’s father being in jail and Ambrose growing up alone. Bray can cast out the demons, so Ambrose came down and beat him up. Standard build but I’d like them to actually go somewhere with these interesting ideas.

Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting next week due to being in the latest WWE movie that almost no one will see.

Ryback beat Cesaro in a good power match. This is the standard idea of “let’s let two guys who are really strong hit each other really hard” and as usual, it worked well.

Lana teased us with a topless photo ala Kim Kardashian which wound up being of Vladimir Putin. Heath Slater came out dressed like Apollo Creed from Rocky and got beaten up faster than I expected him too.

Big Show and Stephanie had another of their stupid arguments until Sheamus came out. Stephanie made a match between them for a shot at the World Title, but the Authority came in for the DQ. Yeah it was a DQ because they hit Sheamus first, and Heaven forbid they just hit both guys at the same time. Of course it was called a no contest because that’s the planned ending, despite whatever actually happened. The match itself was ok with Sheamus showing off his freakish strength but there might as well have been a big countdown clock until the obvious finish. Sheamus was beaten down and apparently injured.

Nikki Bella had Brie dress up as AJ for an exhibition. The real AJ’s distraction let Brie get a rollup pin while looking better than she usually does.

Cena gave Ryback a pep talk to try and get him to join.

The four teams in Sunday’s fourway had a bad eight man tag. This was exactly what it sounds like.

The big closing segment was Cena confronting Team Authority for a contract signing. Cena signed and then talked about how he’s going to take out every single member in a row. This went on WAY too long until Big Show and Ziggler came out to fight with him. Erick Rowan of all people came out to back them up and Cena was fine with it.

I can live with this as while Rowan was in a war with Cena earlier this year, Cena is going to take whoever he can get at this point. It’s a stretch but it worked. Cesaro came out as well but sided with the Authority in a nice bit of trolling. Ryback came out as the real fifth man and Team Cena dominated to end the show.

Overall, again, Raw was all about a single idea. It’s annoying but it’s all they’re focusing on for Sunday. I’m so sick of hearing about this match though and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Ryback being the focus is interesting, but I have little confidence in WWE to actually pull the trigger on him in any way.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 2014
Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally to one of the biggest one match shows I can ever remember.  THey aren’t even trying to hide the fact that this is all about the main event this year and it’s taken a lot to get through the rest of the card as a result.  Obviously this is about Team Cena vs. the Authority with the future of both groups on the line.  Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Fandango is new and improved, meaning he now has Rosa in his corner, comes out to what sounds like Spanish music and wrestles in an open chest sweater. Gabriel gets knocked out to the floor as the announcers talk about his skeleton themed pants. Justin comes back with a kick to the face for two but Fandango takes his head off with a clothesline. A release suplex sets up Fandango’s top rope legdrop for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D. As usual, Rosa was the most entertaining thing out there. This was the same Fandango we’ve seen for nearly two years now and he’s somehow less interesting than he was before. The sweater doesn’t make me care about him any more and he’s just as generic in the ring as he was before he left. Not much to see here.

Bad News Barrett comes out for the first time in months. His topic of course is the main event and he has some bad news for Cena: if the Authority wins, Cena’s life is going to be a nightmare. On the other hand, if the Authority loses, the WWE will never be lost in the era of Bad News Barrett. This was actually something close to a face promo.

Pre-Show: Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

This is an added match. Cesaro comes out to talk about being neutral like Switzerland when Zeb and Swagger come out to say if Cesaro is on Team Authority, he and Jack are on Team Cena. Swagger grabs him by the ribs to start but Cesaro grabs a suplex to take over. A double stomp is countered into the Patriot Lock though and Cesaro is in early trouble. He kicks Swagger out to the floor though before Swagger charges back in and goes shoulder first into the post.

A German suplex puts Swagger down again and another suplex gets two. Cesaro drops a middle rope elbow for the same and we hit the chinlock. Swagger quickly fights up and loads the Vader Bomb but has to stop and grab the Patriot Lock instead. They’re too close to the ropes though and Cesaro starts rolling Germans. Swagger rolls through again and puts on the third Patriot Lock for the submission at 5:23.

Rating: C-. The match was better than Fandango’s as I have a reason to care about these guys but it was still nothing great. We’ve seen these guys fight so many times now that it’s hard to get interested in yet another match. It’s nice to see Swagger win, but this is another match that could have been on the main show to flesh out the card a bit.

The opening video was all about the main event which I’m sure you’ve heard by now. Literally, nothing else was even mentioned. There’s usually some history if nothing else.

Here’s Vince to open the show. He does his usual enthusiastic welcome and brings out the Authority for a chat. HHH talks about how Vince is the reason we’re here and the Authority starts a Vince chant. The boss cuts them off and asks Vince to come out here. Vince says that tonight, Cena is in charge of four men’s lives. HHH takes over and says that when Team Cena loses tonight, four men are going to be out of work and quickly forgotten.

Stephanie says that if their team loses, they’ll still be running the show, just not from Raw. “Right Dad?” Vince: “Not exactly.” Apparently if HHH and Stephanie lose tonight, they have no authority over any WWE Superstar. Actually, there’s only one man that could ever bring them back to power.

Stephanie immediately starts sucking up to her dad but Vince says the decision will lie with Cena. Stephanie goes into her I’M A MCMAHON speech but Cena cuts her off and says she’s gone tonight. Cena grabs the mic and says that after they’re gone, just like the song says, there is NO CHANCE that he’ll bring them back.

Tag Team Titles: Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The opening bell is over 22 minutes into the show. Goldust and Stardust are defending with one fall to a finish. Diego cranks on Stardust’s arm to start before it’s quickly off to Miz vs. Fernando. Mizdow is doing the exact same things on the floor as he’s known to do. Miz gets slammed off the top, so Mizdow goes up top and flips himself off for good measure. The fans want Mizdow to come in but Miz isn’t quite ready for the tag yet.

Instead it’s off to Jimmy for some armdrags on Fernando before it’s quickly off to Jey for some chops. Stardust low bridges Jey to the floor and the champs take over in the corner. The fans still want Mizdow but get the drop down uppercut from Stardust instead. Jey tries a sunset flip but Miz tags himself in to take over. Jey falls into the corner for a tag to Diego as this is almost impossible to keep up with. The Backstabber gets two on Miz but he comes right back with a clothesline to Diego.

Miz takes him into the corner and still won’t tag Damien. The running clothesline in the corner is finally enough to make him tag Mizdow but Goldust tags himself in before Damien can do anything. Diego and Goldust trade rollups until Diego is sent into the corner for some double teaming by the champions. Stardust comes in to crank on the arms before scoring with a clothesline. He tells the fans they want him instead of Mizdow before he sends Diego out to the floor.

Goldust scores with a clothesline on the floor before throwing him back inside for a chinlock. Stardust goes up for a sunset flip on Goldust who is holding Diego in a German suplex for a big catapult spot. Diego sends him to the apron but Stardust shoves Fernando into the post. Back in and Diego counters what looked to be a tombstone attempt into a spinning DDT to drop Stardust.

It’s off to Jimmy vs. Goldust with the Samoan taking over before tagging in Jey for the running Umaga attack in the corner. A bunch of superkicks drop Stardust but Diego breaks up the double dive. Goldust powerslam Jimmy for two but Jey nails him with an enziguri. Now the Usos hit the double dive but Stardust hits the Falling Star onto both of them.

Fernando launches Torito onto everyone before Diego dives onto everyone plus the bull. Goldust breaks up Fernando’s dive as Diego gets back in. All four go up for a big Tower of Doom with Fernando taking the worst of it. Jimmy comes in with the Superfly Splash but Miz sends Jimmy into the post. Mizdow tags himself in and pins Fernando for the pin and the titles at 15:25.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and the absolutely right call, but they needed to cut some time out of this. This was the kind of match where it was clear that they were just trying to fill in time and those things get old in a hurry. It took awhile to get going but it was solid once it sped up. Mizdow getting the pin is the perfect ending too.

Miz celebrates with both belts.

Vince McMahon and Steve Austin will be doing a live Steve Austin Show next Monday after Raw.

Adam Rose and the Bunny are in the back with the Exotic Express. They’re going to settle their differences by playing with the latest WWE toys. Rose reminds the Bunny where he was before Rose found him. The Bunny wins in about five seconds so Titus O’Neil and Heath Slater come in to laugh at Rose. Adam says the Bunny worships him and a tag match is made for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!”

Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae/Layla vs. Emma/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Naomi

Elimination tag. Natalya and Paige get things going and we already have a Nattie’s Husband chant. Paige is quickly sent to the floor as we get the required Cheesy/Sleazy/Queasy reference. Lawler even gets the year wrong. Paige sends Natalya into the corner so it’s off to Layla vs. Emma. They trade rollups with Emma being rather clumsy, allowing Layla to roll her up for two.

Emma gets caught in the heel corner and stomped by Paige a bit. Paige spends a lot of time trash talking though and takes a HARD forearm to the head. They head to the top with Emma hitting a nice superplex but Paige is right next to the corner for a tag to Cameron. The screeching begins and Cameron can barely slap Emma right. The fans want Mizdow again as Emma gets two off a backslide.

Naomi tags herself in and kicks Cameron across the ring. A cross body gets no cover but a Stunner of all things gets two on Cameron. Everything breaks down and everyone nails everyone else until Cameron hits a horrible bulldog on Natalya, only to have Naomi hook a nice bridging rollup to eliminate Cameron. Summer comes in but runs from a kick to the face. Naomi kicks her anyway but gets pulled down by the hair. Back up and Summer knocks all of her opponents off the apron, only to have Fox come in and run her over a few times.

Fox cross bodies Paige and loads up a dive to the floor but all of her opponents back up. Summer gets in, gets screamed at, and tags out to Layla. The Brit (Layla) laughs at Fox for climbing down a second ago and gets smacked in the face. A northern lights suplex gets two on Layla but she comes back with her bouncing cross body.

Fox nails a quick backbreaker and it’s 4-2. Paige comes in for some cheap shots but it’s quickly off to Natalya vs. Summer. Natalya runs her over with a discus lariat and a low dropkick but Paige trips her up from the floor. Summer gets in some cheap shots on the apron but stops to mock Paige, only to have Paige knock her off the apron.

It’s off to Emma vs. Summer with Emma hooking the Dilemma (Tarantula) for a few seconds. The Emma Sandwich (cross body in the corner) sets up the Emma Lock (bridging Indian Deathlock) to make Summer tap. It’s Paige vs. all four opponents and the fans are completely in her corner. Paige tries to leave but Emma catches her like she stole something. That’s not cool with Paige who runs Emma over but it’s quickly off to Natalya, who promptly eats a boot to the face. Naomi comes in with the Rear View and a headscissors faceplant to FINALLY end this at 14:16.

Rating: D-. This was terrible as they were clearly just filling time and had almost no business being on a show this big. The girls were mostly sloppy with Cameron being as close to a disaster as you can get. They would have been much better off just having Naomi vs. Paige but why do that when you can get eight Divas out there to ruin a match?

We recap Fandango’s return and Bad News Barrett’s speech from the pre-show.

The expert panel of Booker T., Paul Heyman and Alex Riley talk about the new stipulations for the main event.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt. Bray Wyatt cost Ambrose his match inside the Cell and started talking about Dean’s childhood where he was abandoned by his father and forced to live a hard life. Dean basically said he wanted to hurt Wyatt and that’s about it.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Dean drives him into the corner to start and hammers away with right hands and kicks to the gut. Wyatt comes back with a right hand of his own and they head outside with Dean hitting a nice running forearm off the apron. Back in and Bray takes him down with the running cross body for two as things slow down a bit. They head outside again with Dean going up, only to dive into a right hand to put him down again. Bray stomps Dean’s hands on the steps before taking him back inside for two.

We hit a full nelson on the mat but Dean bites the fingers to escape. That’s fine with Bray who just runs Ambrose over again. They head outside yet again for a double clothesline before slowly crawling back inside. Dean hammers away with forearms to the head and some running elbows before doing Bray’s upside down pose in the corner. Dirty Deeds is broken up but Dean has to counter Sister Abigail into a rollup for two.

With Bray’s feet on the ropes, Dean ties the arms into the ropes for a running dropkick, followed by a legdrop to the back of the head for two. Back up and a big slam gets two for Bray but he misses a middle rope backsplash. Ambrose goes up top and connects with a top rope elbow, even though Bray was standing up. That’s a new one.

Bray gets up and knocks Dean’s head off with a clothesline, sending Ambrose out to the floor. The release Rock Bottom puts Dean onto the steps but Ambrose somehow kicks out. Bray heads back outside and grabs the mic. He asks Dean why he’s doing this and shouts that it didn’t have to be like this.

They could have ruled the world together and there’s nothing anyone back there could do to touch them. Ambrose has chosen his path and there’s a microphone shot to the head. Bray finds some chairs under the ring but Dean takes one away. Wyatt drops to his knees like he did to Cena at Wrestlemania and Dean nails him in the ribs for the DQ at 14:00.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but turned into a violent brawl after awhile. They’re clearly setting up something else for this feud and I’m glad they didn’t give it a clean ending here. Ambrose is much more of a monster than Cena was going to be so the ending makes sense here. These two in a wild brawl could work really well.

Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds onto the chair and loads Bray on a table. A top rope elbow puts both guys through the wood but Dean isn’t done. He puts another table on top of Bray and covers it up with chairs. With Wyatt not moving, Ambrose pulls out a ladder. He climbs on top of it….and stands there as his music plays. Dean climbs down and teases shoving the ladder onto Bray but referees stop him.

HHH and Stephanie give Team Authority a long pep talk. The gist of it is if they lose, the team’s lives will be destroyed.

Slater Gator vs. Adam Rose/The Bunny

The Bunny starts but Rose tags in before anything happens. Slater kicks Adam’s head off to start before it’s off to Titus for some throws into the corner. Adam dives over for the tag to the Bunny as the announcers make rabbit jokes. With Adam demanding a tag, the Bunny hits a middle rope dropkick for the pin on Slater at 2:25.

Roman Reigns is here via satellite and says he’s getting better every single day. He’d rather be here with us and asks the fans if they want to know what he’d do if here were there. Reigns would cock back his fist and make it reign in the arena. JBL says Reigns isn’t here but Seth Rollins is here in the main event. How would Reigns feel if Team Authority won. Reigns calls that a stupid question as he threw a cinder block at Seth’s head. It doesn’t matter what happens tonight because in a month, either team might be out, but he’ll be back at that time.

Team Cena is in the back and they all know what they signed up for. Well we’re assuming Rowan does as he’s playing with a Rubik’s Cube. Cena says there’s one thing left to do when Rowan stands up and says win.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Indeed, the Bellas are back together.

We recap Ambrose vs. Wyatt, who will be in a TLC match three weeks from tonight.

Long recap of the main event. I’m assuming you get the idea by this point.

Team Cena vs. Team Authority

John Cena, Ryback, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler

Seth Rollins, Kane, Luke Harper, Rusev, Mark Henry

Rusev is US Champion and Harper is Intercontinental Champion. The Authority and Stooges are at ringside of course. Henry and Big Show get things going with Mark shouting that he’s going to hurt everyone. HHH and Stephanie stay on the apron for support but Henry charges right into the KO Punch to make it 5-4 in less than a minute. Harper drops to the floor and tries to sneak up on Show but it’s a decoy for Rollins to come in from behind. HHH is dejected and sitting in a chair with his tie off.

Rollins has exactly as much luck against Show as you would expect and it’s off to Kane. Show sends him into the corner and it’s Cena in to hammer away. A dropkick puts Kane down so he tags in Harper, who gets to face Rowan. The fans are behind Erick but we’re not quite ready yet as Seth tags himself in. That’s fine with Rowan who hammers away in the corner and crushes him with a splash. A slam plants Rollins and it’s off to Ryback for a back drop.

Harper comes in and takes a delayed vertical suplex so it’s quickly off to Kane. Ryback Thesz presses him down and gets two off a splash. We get a showdown between Ryback and Rusev with the champ quickly getting slammed down. There’s the Meat Hook but Rusev escapes the Shell Shock and sends Ryback into a boot from Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s a huge brawl with Rollins hitting the Curb Stomp on Ryback. The running superkick from Rusev is enough to eliminate Ryback and tie things up.

Things settle down and it’s Rusev vs. Big Show, because this has gone so well for the giant recently. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets thrown around the corner, only to come back with a dropkick to put Show down. Rollins comes in for some cheap shots before it’s off to Kane for a bunch of stomps. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll before we hit the chinlock. Show fights up and makes the tag to Ziggler as things speed up. Dolph nails Rollins off the apron but charges into the sitout Boss Man Slam for two.

The Authority takes over on Ziggler with Rusev throwing him down for two. Off to Kane for the side slam and big boot for two each. Rusev comes in again to talk Russian trash but Dolph comes back with right hands to the head. Rollins takes him back down again and the slow destruction continues. A release Downward Spiral into the corner gets two on Dolph and we hit the chinlock.

Back to Rusev who runs into the DDT for two but Harper makes the save. Cena comes in with an AA to Harper but Kane chokeslams him. Show chokeslams Kane but Rollins takes him down with the springboard knee. Rowan backdrops Seth onto everyone else but Rusev nails him with a spinwheel kick. Ziggler’s Fameasser to Rusev is countered and Rusev throws him onto about six people at ringside. Rusev loads up the announcers’ table and sets Ziggler for a splash but Dolph moves, sending Rusev crashing through the wood. Only Ziggler beats the count and we’re down to 4-3. That’s one of the only ways to get rid of Rusev.

Back in and Cena gets the hot tag to go after Kane with the usual. The AA connects but Rollins nails a quick Curb Stomp. The referee is totally fine with all of this as Cole is losing his mind. The double tag brings in Harper and Rowan for the showdown we’ve been waiting to see for DAYS. Rowan cleans house and nails a spin kick on Harper but everything breaks down again. Rollins comes in for another Curb Stomp to Rowan, setting up the discus lariat from Harper to tie things up.

We’re down to Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Kane/Rollins/Harper. We get the showdown and Show turns heel by knocking out Cena….FOR A PIN??? Cena is out and we’re down to 3-2. Show shakes HHH’s hand and walks out, effectively making it 3-1. The fans want Orton as Cena wakes up and realizes what’s going on. Stephanie shouts “OH YEAH OH YEAH OH YEAH” and fails at having any sort of rhythm.

Ziggler gets thrown into the barricade by Kane for two back inside. Off to Harper as Cena has left like he’s supposed to. Rollins comes in a few seconds later and takes Ziggler to the corner, telling him to tag his partners. Back to Kane as the domination continues. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and cross bodied for two. The superkick and Zig Zag take out Kane and it’s 2-1.

Harper comes in and kicks Dolph’s head off, knocking him out to the floor. A big suicide dive takes Dolph out again as Cole is cheering for Ziggler more than he ever did for Miz. Harper brings Dolph back inside for a superkick but Dolph kicks out again. A Batista Bomb gets the same and Harper is getting frustrated. Dolph grabs a rollup out of nowhere (and a handful of jeans) to tie things up. That probably gets him a rematch for the title at TLC as well.

It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler and Seth comes in to stomp away. He throws Dolph to the floor and into the barricade as Ziggler is on fumes. Back in and Ziggler grabs a small package for two and a quick DDT gets the same. The fans are WAY into these near falls. HHH is losing his mind at ringside as Rollins just lays in right hands to the head. Seth goes up but Ziggler runs the corner, only to get shoved down. A super Curb Stomp misses and the Fameasser gets an even closer two.

The Zig Zag is countered but the Stooges offer a distraction. The second attempt connects on Rollins but HHH takes the referee out. Now the Stooges come in for the beatdown but they screw up as only Stooges can. Ziggler throws Mercury into Stephanie, knocking her into her husband. The Buckle Bomb is countered and the Zig Zag connects. A second referee comes in for the count but HHH breaks it up AGAIN.

He hammers on Dolph and nails a huge clothesline before planing Ziggler with a Pedigree. Rollins is laid on top as referee #3 (crooked Scott Armstrong) comes out……BUT WE HAVE STING! He slowly walks out and nails Armstrong before staring down HHH. The fans find this awesome as they circle each other very slowly. HHH swings but Sting lays him out with the Death Drop. Ziggler and Rollins (who hasn’t moved an inch for about eight minutes after a single Zig Zag) are still down but Sting throws Ziggler on top of him for the pin at 42:08.

Rating: B+. Sting just debuted. You think ANY of the rest of this matters?

Ok for the sake of covering it: the match wasn’t great but they had me freaking out at the end with those near falls and then the crow sounding to have Sting come out. Above all but one thing (which should be obvious), this was about Ziggler instead of Cena, who wasn’t out there for the last fifteen minutes or so. This is the biggest rub Ziggler has ever had and the question now is where he goes with it. That’s a great way to end a show and one heck of a rub.

Cena comes out to hug Ziggler and help him to the back. The fans sing the Goodbye Song to the Authority as Stephanie shouts that THIS IS NOT OVER as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. That main event and the surprise bring this WAY up as this was looking to be one of the worst shows in a long time until the main event. It’s the definition of a one match show (mostly at least) but just like many a Royal Rumble before it, that one match dragged the show up. It’s a rare thing that I can feel my heart beating at the end of a match but that’s exactly what happened during that last sequence. Awesome ending to a bad show.

Results

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos, Los Matadores and Goldust/Stardust – Mizdow pinned Fernando after a Superfly Splash from Jimmy

Naomi/Natalya/Alicia Fox/Emma b. Cameron/Layla/Summer Rae/Paige – Headscissors faceplant to Paige

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose used a chair

Adam Rose/The Bunny b. Slater Gator – Middle rope dropkick to Slater

Nikki Bella b. AJ Lee – Rack Attack

Team Cena b. Team Authority – Zig Zag to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today we’re looking at another big power guy in Luke Gallows.

After about a year as the Freakin Deacon in developmental, Gallows was brought up to be a Fake Kane that haunted the real one in a very complicated storyline that thankfully never went as far as it was going to (something about the unmasked Kane actually being the impostor and the real one having been locked away for years). Here’s their showdown at Vengeance 2006.

Kane vs. Kane

This is one of the most infamously stupid angles ever. Kane is facing a guy that looks like he used to. Basically Kane was in a bad movie called See No Evil and somehow it brought a guy from his past to WWE who dressed like he used to or something. Kane knew who he was but they never told us that or anything so whatever. He was played by the guy now known as Luke Gallows. I’ll refer to them as real and fake here.

Real dominates early which doesn’t last very long. Real goes for the mask and doesn’t get it of course. Only HHH could manage to do that. And there are the boring chants. Ah look a chinlock. Ross says Kane is at a disadvantage because he doesn’t know who he’s wrestling despite saying Kane knew the imposter earlier.

Ross says it’s been an ugly match. Yeah I’d agree. Is this supposed to be good or to make sense? Real hits something like a throw off the top but it was more or less closer to an over the shoulder slam than anything else. Just end this please. Fake hits a chokeslam and does Kane’s old pin to end it.

Rating: F+. Oh do I even need to explain this? The match was worse than the angle. Kane would beat the imposter up on Raw soon and take the mask, ending anything of this angle. Yeah it’s bad and there’s a reason this is one of the many things in Kane’s career that you just never hear about again.

That was it for him on the main roster for awhile so it was back to developmental for some uninspiring characters. He would finally be brought up to the main roster as Festus, who was basically a vegetable until the bell rang when he went psycho. Here’s one of his first matches with his partner Jesse on Smackdown, October 12, 2007.

Jesse/Festus vs. Conrad Carnes/Jay Adams

Jesse explains the concept for us in case we’re not smart enough to get it. Jesse and Adams get things going with Adams throwing him out to the floor. Back in and Jesse armdrags Adams down as Deuce and Domino are shown watching in the back. Conrad comes in but it’s off to Festus for some hard slaps upside the head. A big legdrop crushes Conrad and Festus throws him into Adams. Jesse comes back in for two off a sunset flip but Jay clotheslines his head off to take over. Everything breaks down and Festus throws Jesse into a shoulder block for the pin on Adams.

Rating: D. It’s really not hard to see why this team never went anywhere. Jesse is really generic in the ring and Festus is only there to wreck things. Maybe with a better partner and less of a country boy persona they could have gone somewhere, but Jesse really held these guys back.

Festus became a fairly dominant force until he had this match on Smackdown, April 11, 2008.

Festus vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is World Champion but this is of course non-title. Festus goes all nuts to start so Undertaker just kicks him in the face. Undertaker drives in some shoulders and hits an early Old School. A powerslam plants Undertaker and he drives some headbutts into Undertaker’s ribs. The Dead Man gets right back up but misses an elbow drop. Festus clotheslines him out to the floor and they fight on the outside with both guys being rammed into the barricade.

Undertaker is staggered on the floor but manages to whip Festus into the steps to take over. The apron legdrop has Festus in even more trouble. Back in and Undertaker nails the running DDT but hurts himself trying a headbutt. A big clothesline drops Festus again and there’s the chokeslam but Festus is right next to the ropes.

After a quick breather on the floor, Festus hammers away on Undertaker back inside but the referee gets bumped. A bicycle kick knocks Undertaker senseless but Festus walks away, allowing the Dead Man to sit up. Hell’s Gate goes on but there’s no referee. Festus is done and another referee comes out to call for the bell. Was there really a need for that ref bump?

Rating: C. That’s a good example of how you give someone a rub. Undertaker was never in serious trouble and he won completely clean, but Festus made him work for it. That match made Festus look like more of a threat than any squash he could win and Undertaker doesn’t lose anything because of it. Again, it’s how you give a rub.

One more Jesse and Festus match at the 2008 Great American Bash.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse/Festus vs Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Miz and Morrison are defending. Festus is Luke Gallows who freaks out at the sound of a bell. Jesse and Festus clear the ring so the champs send Horny in to fight him. Smart move guys. Horny wants to try it but instead dives through the ropes to take out the champ. Festus vs. Miz gets us going officially. Off to Jesse with the only world champion to be found in this match in trouble.

Morrison and Finlay come in and the Irishman is in trouble. Foley asks why you would tag into someone on another team since this is one fall to a finish. Miz and Morrison use various nefarious techniques to hurt Finley and it’s off to the chinlock. Miz and Morrison switch in and out twice and Finlay gets in a shot. I don’t think Hawkins and Ryder have been in yet and as I say that Ryder comes in to steal a pin attempt, getting two.

The former Edgeheads/Major Brothers hammer away on Finlay but he counters into the rolling fireman’s carry slam, whatever that was called. The Irish Club is brought in and I don’t know who got hit as Miz and Morrison ran in to break it up. Finlay gets in a shot on I think Hawkins and it’s off to Horny. Jesse tags himself in to beat on Hawkins. There’s the not hot tag to Festus and he cleans house. He and Jesse load up a rocket launcher but Ryder pulls Festus to the floor and Jesse gets slammed off the top. Hawkins pins Jesse for the surprise title win.

Rating: C-. Hey, you ever seen one of those multi team tag matches where not a lot really happens because there are so many teams that nothing can get going at all and no one is able to get anything going and the ending is a big mess with a team that didn’t do much stealing the win and it wasn’t bad but you’ve seen something just like it before? Well this was one of those matches.

The rest of 2008 saw Jesse and Festus as moving men who wrapped people in bubble wrap. It wasn’t much of a surprise when he went down to developmental again before coming back in 2010, having been cured of his issues by CM Punk. Now under the name Luke Gallows, it was revealed that Festus’ problems were due to being heavily medicated. Punk turned him straightedge and made him into a monster. From Smackdown on July 31, 2010.

Big Show vs. Luke Gallows

Gallows has a bit of red in his singlet now which is a nice little twist on the boring stuff he usually does. In a cool bit Show gets Chimmel to come up and put the mid next to the chest of Gallows when he chops it. The sound didn’t work but the idea was there at least. Gallows gets knocked to the floor and the beatdown is on as the SES jumps him for the DQ. They hurt his hand and Punk takes the sling off so he’s fine I guess? Mercury is choking him and his eyes are great. No rating since the “match” was a few kicks and chops.

And again at Summerslam 2010.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Amazingly enough there wasn’t much else for Gallows to do after he was destroyed this badly so WWE released him in November of the same year. Let’s hit the indy scene for a bit at JCW Bloodymania V.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.

Gallows would become part of the Aces and 8’s in TNA, wrestling as one of the masked men at Bound For Glory 2012.

Aces and 8’s vs. Sting/Bully Ray

No DQ and Ray has Sting face paint on. The Aces still have Park with them and he’s now conscious. Keep in mind that Park had figured out who the Aces’ leader was, or at least a lot about them, at this point. That’s also going to be a big plot point later on. It’s a huge brawl to start on the floor with the very big Aces quickly getting beaten down. The Bikers fights back with right hands as the fans are chanting for Hogan.

Ray and Sting double team we’ll say #1 with an elbow to the head and a piece of a table to the same spot. #1 comes back by whipping Ray into the steps and avoids a Stinger Splash against the barricade. They finally get inside with #2 working over Sting with uppercuts and a slam for two. Off to #1 with a clothesline for two as we see Park handcuffed to the barricade.

The bikers start double teaming but Sting no sells a slam and Hulks Up but the Scorpion on #1 is quickly broken up. A Death Drop out of nowhere plants #1 but Sting tags Ray instead of covering. Ray cleans house with elbows and a middle rope shoulder but #1 gets in a knee to the back from the apron. Ray comes right back with a double clothesline to drop the Aces and a splash gets two on #1.

Sting and #2 get in a fight on the floor and #1 brings in a chair. Bully kicks it out of his hands but a third member comes in with a low blow. He spits at Park so Joseph rips the handcuffs off the barricade and hammers away on the third guy. All four of the regular guys are in the ring now and we get a Doomsday Device on #1. There’s a Stinger Splash to #2 and Sting wants the tables. #1 pulls Sting to the floor for a brawl and a fourth Ace comes in for a spinebuster to put Ray through the table, giving #2 the pin.

Rating: C. There was only so much you could do with something like this the bikers were just faceless monsters so the match shouldn’t have been any kind of a wrestling clinic. That being said, Sting can only do so much in the ring so keeping it as a brawl was a good idea. On top of that, this was all about the story instead of the wrestling so they could do almost whatever they wanted out there.

Gallows was soon unmasked and named Doc. Here he is at Turning Point 2012.

Doc vs. Joseph Park

Doc is Luke Gallows remember. Park is always amazing in this role given how inept he can make himself look. He tries single leg takedown but Doc just laughs at him. Some wild right hands miss Doc until one accidentally catches him, ticking the biker off. They head to the floor where Park does a lot of running but manages to send Doc into the steps. Back in and Doc loads up a studded belt around his fist but the referee takes it away. Then we stop, because it’s hammer time. That of course gets taken away and Park pounds away.

The next three minutes or so are just Doc beating on Park with basic stuff and there’s only so much you can say about punches. Park starts a comeback but gets hit in the head with the belt to bust him open. He goes into a rage and hits the Black Hole Slam before turning back into Park. Park grabs a chair to whack Doc in the back with for two, but that’s all he’s got as Doc chokeslams him down for the pin at 11:01.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and that’s where it died. At the end of the day, the joke with Park has been going on for months now and the fans clearly get it. Once the fans get what’s going on, the joke stops being as funny, which means it’s probably time to pull the plug on it, or at least move things forward. The match was bad though as it should have been about five minutes shorter.

Here’s a big match for him at Genesis 2013.

Sting vs. Doc

Sting fights off an attack in the aisle and beats Doc into the crowd before the bell as is his custom. We finally get back to the ring for the bell with Sting taking over. Immediately it heads to the outside with Doc kicking Sting in the ribs and sending him into the steps. Doc poses so Sting kicks him in the ribs as we head back inside. A big right hand drops Sting and it’s chinlock time.

Sting quickly fights up but gets splashed for two. They head to the ropes and Doc gets caught in them, allowing a Scorpion Death Drop to get two. The reaction to the kickout is a bit less than optimal I’d assume. Doc misses a charge into the corner and it’s Stinger Splash and Death Drop for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: D+. Sting’s matches on PPV tend to be far closer to brawls than matches but when you’re a legend like he is, you can get away with that I guess. Aces and 8’s continue to look like jokes but we’re WAY past the point of that surprising anyone anymore. This was about exactly what I was expecting to see, which is to say not much.

Doc was part of the big Aces and 8’s team at Lockdown 2013.

Lethal Lockdown

TNA: Sting, Magnus, Samoa Joe, Eric Young, James Storm

Aces and 8’s: Mr. Anderson, D-Von, Doc, Mike Knux, Garrett Bischoff

This has some interesting rules. Two men (Anderson and Magnus) start things off and fight for three minutes. After those three minutes, Aces and 8’s (they won a series of matches on Thursday) get a man advantage for two minutes. Then TNA sends in its second man to even it up for two minutes. Aces and 8’s then get another advantage for two more minutes. They alternate until everyone is in and then it’s one fall to a finish.

Magnus pounds Anderson down in the corner to start before hitting a clothesline. Anderson sends him into the cage though to take over as we have less than a minute before someone else comes in. Off to a chinlock by Anderson to kill the time until Knux makes it 2-1. Also remember that the match can’t end until all ten men are in the match. A sidewalk slam and legdrop floor Magnus as this is one sided so far.

Samoa Joe is in to tie things up and TNA takes over for a bit. The former tag champions continue to work well together by taking the bikers apart. Anderson and Knux are beaten down until Garrett Bischoff comes in to make it 3-2. The fans tell Garrett that he can’t wrestle as Magnus and Joe beat him up as well. Anderson and Knux finally get up and save their partner as Eric Young is in to make it 3-3. Oh wait he has to strip first.

As is the case with every other period, the team with the latest man in takes over. D-Von is in to make it 4-3 Aces and 8’s and the numbers game takes over for the bikers again. Joe fights back with some palm shots to Anderson in the corner but D-Von knocks him down again to take over. The fans want Sting but they get James Storm instead. Storm cleans house with Closing Times and Last Calls but they don’t mean much at this point.

House continues to be cleaned until Doc is in to round out Aces and 8’s. Doc takes over for Team TNA with his power stuff and the match slows down a lot. Here’s Sting with two garbage cans full of weapons to finalize things, meaning it’s now one fall to a finish. Team TNA takes over with a bunch of weapon shots as I guess there’s no roof this year for a change. It’s all Team TNA at this point as the match slows down a bit. Garrett Bischoff gets worn out by Joe via a trashcan.

Sting holds Anderson for Young but Young almost hits Sting by mistake. The break lets the bikers take over with Doc chokeslamming Young. Magnus and Storm come back to take over, sending Garrett running to the top of the cage. They chase after him, resulting in I think Doc and Knux making the save. Joe powerbombs ALL FIVE GUYS down in a big Tower of Doom before putting Anderson in an STF but Doc makes the save. TNA takes over again with Sting hitting the Death Drop on Knox, but he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Young to the top of the cage for an elbow drop for the pin at 26:27.

Rating: B. The problem of the ring being too small to hold ten guys still exists, but as someone with a bad fear of heights I’m very glad to see them not have the roof on the cage. It’s a risk they just don’t need to take and the Tower of Doom spot was more than able to make up for it. Very solid match here but Aces and 8’s continue to fall further into the abyss.

Later in the year, Doc would head over to New Japan and join the Bullet Club as Doc Gallows. Here he is in the 2014 G1 Climax Tournament against Tomoaki Honma on July 25, 2014.

G1 Climax Tournament: Tomoaki Honma vs. Doc Gallows

Honma looks a bit like a more muscular Eric Young. Gallows shoves him down to start and drops him with a shoulder. Honma avoids an elbow but misses a headbutt and gets tossed out to the floor. A hard whip sends him into the barricade and it’s all Doc so far. Back in and Doc charges into an elbow but calmly kicks Honma off the top for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before they screw up a sunset flip. Honma hits a basement dropkick to take Doc’s head off but Gallows quickly gets up and no sells chops.

The big guy actually gets slammed and a falling headbutt gets two. A big delayed suplex drops Honma and Gallows crushes him with a jumping back elbow to the jaw. Doc plants him with a pumphandle slam for two but Honma gets right back up. He clotheslines Doc down but misses a top rope falling headbutt. Gallows nails a reverse full nelson slam for two more before a sitout chokebomb is enough to pin Honma.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad as they stuck with a basic big man vs. small man formula. Gallows is a good choice for a power monster and the face paint he had on here made him look just like one. Honma didn’t do much for me and some quick research says he lost all ten of his matches in the tournament. That’s not very surprising.

Gallows is a guy that feels like he’s been around forever but he has a LOT of time left as he’ll be 31 by the end of 2014. He’s a big power guy who looks intimidating but can have a good enough match to get by. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got another shot in WWE as he seems to be having a very solid run in New Japan. His age really surprised me though and that says a lot about him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Survivor Series 2013
Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the 2014 edition and for the most part I have no idea what happens here. If I remember right it’s something about Orton and then Reigns destroying a bunch of people. It kind of amazes me how easy the last year is to forget while I could snap off the main event of almost every PPV 2005 or so. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi won’t shake hands to start but eventually gives in after a few seconds. Kingston tries to speed things up with his leapfrogs before a crucifix gets two. A backslide gets two more but Kofi charges into an atomic drop. Both guys miss finishers but Kofi kicks him in the face and clotheslines him out to the floor. There’s a suicide dive for good measure and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock for a change but Miz fights up with a big boot to take over.

Another boot to the face gets two and Miz puts on a chinlock. Back up and Kofi hits a quick standing double stomp before speeding things up with his dropkicks. There’s the Boom Drop but Trouble in Paradise misses. SOS connects for two and a high cross body gets the same as Miz is reeling. Kofi kicks him in the chest a few times before countering a Skull Crushing Finale attempt into a rollup, only to have Miz counter into a rollup of his own for the pin.

Rating: C. Nice match here as Kofi kept things moving until Miz finally caught him going for one too many big moves. Kingston is a guy that can move around as fast as anyone else and put on an entertaining match with almost anyone. Miz was looking sharp here too, even though I’d like him to drop that Figure Four nonsense. It didn’t work for him then and it still doesn’t today.

The show itself opens with HHH and Stephanie rather than an opening video. They guarantee no physical interference in any match tonight. Not a single one. Assuming Boston is ready, here’s the opening match.

After an opening video about the flame of survival in us all that is. As usual this transitions into a video about the main events.

Rey Mysterio/Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Usos vs. Shield/Real Americans

Elimination match of course. This is Mysterio’s return from yet another injury. Ambrose is US Champion and Cody and Goldust are Tag Team Champions, having taken the belts from Reigns and Rollins recently. Before the match, Colter rips on Americans for Twerking and even gives us a demonstration. David Ortiz gets insulted a bit as well until Cody Rhodes cuts him off and Twerks a bit as well.

Rhodes and Ambrose get things going with Rhodes nailing him with a right hand. Dean comes back with a clothesline but argues with the referee, allowing Cody to roll him up for a quick elimination. Everything breaks down for a bit with the Usos nailing all four remaining opponents. Each Uso dives on a team and the good guys are in full control.

We settle down to Cody suplexing Seth for two. Off to Goldust to a huge reaction but Swagger comes in off a blind tag and runs Goldust over. Cesaro snaps Goldust’s arm over the top rope before coming in to work on the ribs. Swagger gets two off a powerslam as Cole screws up Survivor Series history, saying that Andre won the first Survivor Series match (it was the first main event). Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulders for a double stomp and slaps on a chinlock.

Back up and Goldust grabs a DDT to put both guys down. Goldust has to elbow all of his opponents before hitting a sunset bomb on Cesaro, only to have Swagger come in first. The Vader Bomb hits raised boots though and the hot tag brings in Mysterio. A quick 619 sets up a superkick from Jimmy and the Superfly Splash from Jey to make it 5-3.

Cesaro comes in immediately with Swiss Death for two on Jey. Both Usos get Swung and Cesaro is the most over person in the match. His reward: a sunset from Cody for another elimination. It’s Reigns in now to run over Jey and stomp away in the corner. Rollins comes in with an elbow for two before it’s back to Reigns to work on the arm. Cole mistakenly says the Shield has developed rivalries over the years but JBL points out that they’ve only been around a year. Cole: “Well you know what I mean.” JBL: “No not really.”

Jey finally gets over for the hot tag to Jimmy who takes Reigns down with a Samoan drop. The running Umaga attack gets two but Roman blocks the splash with his knees and nails the spear to make it 4-2. Cody comes in with a missile dropkick to Rollins as things speed up. The moonsault press gets two but the Disaster Kick is caught in midair. Rollins gets countered into Cross Rhodes but makes a blind tag, allowing Reigns to spear Cody for the elimination.

Jey sends Reigns into the barricade but misses a high cross body back inside. Rollins makes another quick tag to come in for a Curb Stomp and it’s down to Mysterio/Goldust vs. Reigns/Rollins. Rey is quickly taken down by Rollins but he comes back with a kick to the head for two. The advantage is short lived though as Rey gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the ribs. Reigns throws him out to the floor with ease but the spear hits the post by mistake.

It’s quickly back to Rollins who dropkicks Goldust off the apron, only to get caught in a rollup for a fast pin. It’s Reigns vs. Goldust/Mysterio but Seth gets in some cheap shots on Mysterio before he leaves. Rey sends a charging Reigns into the buckle and tags in Goldust to clean house. A spinebuster plants Reigns and Goldust hammers away in the corner. Goldust nails a powerslam and spinning cross body for two each but a bulldog is countered into a spear for another pin. So it’s Mysterio vs. Reigns and the 619 is broken up with a huge spear to give Reigns the pin.

Rating: C. The match was boring to start but picked up a lot when Reigns was unleashed. This was the star making performance that started Reigns’ push to the moon which would be driven even higher when he broke the elimination record in the Royal Rumble. The match itself wasn’t much to see but those spears looked great.

HHH, Kane and Stephanie are in the back when Orton comes in. He wants to make sure everyone is on the same page after he demanded respect from the Authority on Monday. HHH wants to know if that’s just making sure everything is ok or if Orton is asking them to save him tonight. We get the usual Face of the WWE speech but Stephanie tells him to go prove it.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. Langston vs. Curtis Axel

Langston took the title from Axel on Monday and this is the rematch. Axel puts on a headlock but gets taken down with pure power. With that not working, Curtis starts going after the arm for almost the same result. Big E. busts out a leapfrog before just running Axel over. A running splash in the corner crushes Axel again and a clothesline gets two.

They head outside for a few seconds with Axel knocking Langston off the apron to get his first advantage. Back in and Curtis puts on a chinlock before Langston fights up with a big belly to belly. The Warrior Splash connects but Axel grabs a quick PerfectPlex for two. Back up and the Big Ending retain the title with ease.

Rating: D+. This was far less of a match and more of a formality. Langston was getting a solid push around this time until they suddenly pulled the plug on him. Axel has the same result, though at least he got to be in a tag team. Hopefully Langston can get somewhere with the New Day stuff but I won’t get my hopes up.

Post match Big E. talks about being in Boston but doesn’t want to look like he’s pandering to the people here in Boston. However, this feels like when the Boston Red Sox won the World Series.

AJ gives the True Divas a big pep talk but they don’t buy into it. Rosa Mendes: “Do you think you’re better than all of us.” AJ: “Yes?” Kaitlyn goes on a rant about all the horrible things AJ has done but AJ says this is about Total Divas not wanting any of them. The champ’s (AJ) advice for the night: start your own show by stealing this one.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Total Divas: Bella Twins, Natalya, Funkadactyls, Jojo, Eva Marie

True Divas: AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Summer Rae, Rosa Mendes, Alicia Fox, Aksana, Kaitlyn

Elimination tag and let’s get this over with. Fox works over Naomi in the corner to start and slams her down for one. She puts Naomi on top but gets elbowed down, setting up a split legged moonsault to get rid of Fox. Rosa comes in and avoids the Rear View before it’s off to Cameron. This can’t go well. A double split legdrop from the Funkadactyls gets two on Mendes as we hear about the Total Divas having personalities.

Rosa sends a charging Cameron into the middle buckle for a pin. Mendes dances but turns into a Bella Buster from Nikki for another elimination. Summer comes in wearing orange and blue for a dance off with Nikki. Summer does the splits and gets dropkicked to make it 6-4 for the Total Divas. Eva Marie comes in and is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn doesn’t like her either and ends her with a quick gutbuster to make it 5-4. Naomi comes in but takes a gutbuster of her own for the pin. Tied at four now with Brie throwing Kaitlyn down for two.

Kaitlyn misses a spear and gets caught by a bad looking missile dropkick for another pin. I’m not leaving out anything on play by play here. These falls are just going that fast. AJ kicks Brie from behind, allowing Aksana to hit a bad spinebuster to eliminate Brie. A Rack Attack ends Aksana about 10 seconds later and we’re down to AJ/Tamina vs. Nikki/Natalya/Jojo. Tamina comes in to lay Nikki out with headbutts and Nikki is nice enough to smile through half of the beating.

Nikki gets thrown into Natalya and it’s off to Jojo, who has almost no in ring experience. Jojo nails a quick cross body and a rollup gets two before Tamina just kicks her head off. A Samoan drop plants Jojo and AJ comes in for the pin. The announcers say it’s 2-1 because Nikki Bella is that forgettable. Tamina charges into Natalya in the corner but misses the Superfly Splash, allowing Natalya to hook the Sharpshooter for the elimination. AJ comes in and gets nailed by Nikki because she wasn’t eliminated, setting up another Sharpshooter so the Total Divas can win.

Rating: F. This won Worst Match of the Year and it’s really easy to see why. It was clear that they had no idea how to do more than a few spots and had to fly through this match as fast as they could. I can’t stand these messes but the fans hating Eva Marie made up for it a bit. In case this wasn’t enough for you, there was a REMATCH the next night!

Orton asks referee Charles Robinson to help him out tonight but Robinson says he’ll do what the Authority told him to do.

Expert panel time but Ryback’s music cuts them off. Ryback says his favorite Survivor Series memory is shutting up all those old timers. He can intimidate anyone here but that doesn’t make him a bully. It’s open challenge time so let’s have a Wrestlemania rematch.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

This is another return for Henry. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback talks even more trash. Henry casually shoves him across the ring so Ryback goes after the knee for two. Ryback slams him down but misses a charge into the post. Maybe the GOLDBERG chants messed with his head. Mark gets down on all fours for some JYD headbutts before a powerslam gets two. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered into a spinebuster and Ryback takes down the straps. Ryback’s Meat Hook is countered with a cross body and now the World’s Strongest Slam is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a worthless set of back to back matches. Henry looked fatter than ever and Ryback’s collapse continues. At the end of the day the guy has come back so many times that it’s really hard to care. The fact that he’s anything but the Hall of Pain era Henry makes things even worse.

We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Cena had to leave due to a bad arm but came back to take the World Heavyweight Championship from Del Rio like the main event jobber that he was. This is the rematch and Del Rio is going after the arm. Of course.

World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

Cena is the defending hometown boy so the split chants begin. They fight over a headlock to start until Del hiptosses him down for a headlock and some of the most obvious spot calls I’ve ever seen. Back up and Del Rio steps on Cena’s head before a snap suplex gets two. Cena powers out of an armbar but Del Rio sends him outside and into the steps. They head back inside and the arm work continues along with the slow pace.

Cena fights up again but misses a charge into the buckle to keep Del Rio in control. Alberto avoids a shoulder block and Cena falls outside again so Del Rio can stay on the arm. A clothesline gets two on the champ and we hit another armbar. Del Rio talks about doing two things to Cena because he’s really bad at spot calling. Cena powers up again and hits a clothesline, only to walk into a Backstabber for two.

Alberto goes up but dives into a dropkick to put both guys down again. Back up and the ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Cena takes too long, allowing Del Rio to score with a DDT. Alberto misses a charge of his own though and both guys are down again. The champ’s finishing sequence is countered yet again into a German suplex so he opts for a tornado DDT for two. The enziguri knocks Cena off the top and the dueling chants begin again.

Del Rio puts him in the Tree of Woe but his charge hits the post by mistake. There’s the top rope Fameasser for two and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets the same for Del Rio. Alberto calls for the cross armbreaker and gets a huge SI chant. Cena rolls through into the STF though, sending Del Rio rolling over to the ropes. The low superkick gets two on John and his belly to back neckbreaker gets the same for the champ. Cena’s cross body is countered into the armbreaker but he counters up into a powerbomb. Back up and the AA retains Cena’s title.

Rating: B. Del Rio is basically the new Chris Jericho: he’ll win the title every now and then, but he’s little more than cannon fodder for Cena. I have no reason to believe that Cena is going to tap out to the armbreaker and every time Del Rio went for the hold it felt like a waste of time. Alberto’s style makes perfect sense for him, but it’s a waste of time against Cena. The match was good, but the ending was never once in doubt.

Santino and Truth play with toys, only to be joined by Los Matadores, El Torito, Fandango and Johnny Ace.

We recap the Wyatts vs. Bryan/Punk. Bray saw both of them as heroes that needed to be destroyed so he crushed Bryan’s head and went after Punk in general. Bryan came out for the save and we’ve got a tag match. The tag line makes it a bit better: the Wyatts vs. the Beard/the Best.

CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Bray holds up the lantern and says Abigail told him Punk and Bryan would be tough as nails. She was right. Bryan kicks at Rowan’s leg to start and is quickly shoved down. More kicks to the leg send Rowan into the good corner for a tag from Punk. The fans are very pleased with the tattooed hero but Erick drives him into the other corner to take over. Off to Harper as the Family starts taking turns working over Punk’s ribs.

Rowan slaps on a bearhug but Punk slips out of a suplex and tags in Bryan. Their combined forces can’t suplex Rowan though so he sends both guys flying at the same time. Things settle down until Punk and Bryan start kicking away in the corner and now they can suplex Rowan down. Naturally the announcers are debating if Rowan is like Michael Myers or not.

Back to Harper but Punk easily drives him back into the corner as well. A double dropkick sets up Bryan’s YES Kicks and we go old school with a Hart Attack for two. Punk gets distracted by Erick though, allowing Harper to kick Punk’s head off and tag in the other freak. A backbreaker gets two for Rowan and it’s back to Luke for the Gator Roll. Rowan starts talking to the mask on the post as Luke gets two off the Michinoku Driver.

Rowan comes back in and charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a tornado DDT (way too common a move anymore). There’s the hot tag to Bryan who comes in with all of his usual stuff. Luke gets kicked to the floor for the FLYING GOAT. Back in and the missile dropkick gets two but the big YES Kick is caught in a powerbomb. Bryan counters into a hurricanrana but Luke counters it’s top rope cousin into a super sitout powerbomb for a very close two.

Everything breaks down and Rowan throws Punk out to the floor. A splash gets two on Bryan as things settle back down. Harper runs Bryan over and chokes with the boot before catapulting him throat first into the rope. Daniel fights back until Erick catches him in a half nelson suplex. The monster gets too confident though and goes after Punk, only to get kicked in the head. The hot tag brings in Punk to clean house again but he dives on Rowan and Wyatt instead of Harper. Back in and the top rope elbow gets two on Luke but Rowan breaks up the GTS. That earns him a running knee and the GTS ends Harper.

Rating: B-. The fans thought it was awesome but it never got past solid for me. Bryan and Punk are the kind of super team that you put in there to fight monsters like these, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter until they fight the master himself. At least Harper and Rowan are still good enough to have a good match and look like real threats.

Bray teases getting in but backs down as you would expect.

Cena is getting his arm looked at with the Authority next to him. Orton comes in and isn’t pleased so Cena leaves them to their chat.

We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Big Show was basically blackmailed into being the Authority’s monster until lawsuits were threatened and Big Show was given anything he wanted. Rather than money, job security, or a piece of the WWE, he wanted a single WWE Title shot. This went on for months and felt like it would never end, setting up a match that no one wanted to see.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Champion Orton immediately bails to the floor before going back in and getting shoved out again. Randy heads back in again and takes one of the loudest chops I’ve ever heard. Show tries to claw Orton up from the floor but gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A big shoulder gives Show two but Orton finally scores with a dropkick.

We hit the front facelock as the crowd goes silent again. Instead Orton shifts to a horrible sleeper until Show suplexes him down. Orton rolls outside to avoid a chokeslam so Show sends him into the steps. Back in and Show tries to go up for some reason, allowing the champ to crotch him down and nail the Elevated DDT. He takes too long setting up the RKO though and eats a chokeslam for two.

Show loads up the KO but Orton bails outside, bumping into the referee’s knee in the process. They head into the crowd to keep up the beating, including a KO Punch to knock Orton silly on the floor. We’re about to have a new champion and of course here’s the Authority. The distraction lets Orton nail an RKO, setting up a Punt to retain the title.

Rating: D. This is basically poor man’s version of Del Rio vs. Cena. The ending was never in doubt as there was no way they were putting the belt on Show, but the match was really dull and boring throughout. This was the culmination of a terribly dull story and thankfully they moved on to anything better, like Cena vs. Orton. That’s a fresh idea right?

Orton celebrates but Cena comes out and holds up his own belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a rollercoaster. The first part was just kind of there, then it went straight down, then up for Cena/Bryan/Punk, then down through a hole for the finish. October/November is just a horrible time for the company every year and this is probably the low point for the Survivor Series. There are far worse shows, but man alive this show felt worthless. It’s just not an interesting show and felt like it could have been any given B show rather than the second longest PPV ever. That’s a bad sign for a show this important.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Original:B-

Redo: C

Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos

Original:B-

Redo: C

Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston

Original:D+

Redo: D+

Total Divas vs. True Divas

Original:D-

Redo: F

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Original:D

Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

Original:D+

Redo: B

Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan

Original:B

Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Original:D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:D+

Redo: C-

Dang I hated Del Rio back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/11/24/survivor-series-2013-they-had-me-for-a-bit/

That’s it for Survivor Series and you can tell WWE has thought the same for years. The show hasn’t felt important in a long time with almost no major matches, save for maybe the Rock’s in ring return, even though that was just a warmup for the real match. I still love the idea and tradition of the show, but it’s been too long since we’ve had an elimination tag that matters.

Now that’s going to be remedied in 2014 so maybe there’s some hope, but the last few years haven’t been kind to the show. That doesn’t change the fact that the older shows rock and are definitely worth checking out if you want to see a lot of the roster on the same show and about five matches rolled into one. It’s a good series, but anymore it’s really just one of the Big Four because it came so early.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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