Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,046
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

 

This is the post 9/11 Smackdown, which was the first major gathering to occur after the September 11^th attacks. Obviously due to that this is another show where the wrestling means nothing at all which is definitely the best thing they could have done. I saw this when it aired and haven’t seen it since. Let’s get to it.

 

Surprisingly enough we get the WWE opening which today would be the montage thing. This is live for once on a Thursday.

 

Loud USA chant to start and then we actually do the theme song. This is pre-Brand Split and in the Alliance period.

 

The roster is out in the aisle with Rock being out front. There’s a very different dynamic here than there is at other tribute shows.

 

Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner with the red, white and blue ropes out like the old days. I guess Vince was really patriotic back in the day or something.

 

Don’t expect a lot of jokes here or incredibly serious grading here as this isn’t a regular show/review.

 

Edge talks about how he wasn’t going to do one of these interviews because he didn’t think the fans cared what Edge or Adam Copeland said about this. This is about entertaining the people tonight though as is their job. There’s definitely a pride here and the mood is far more upbeat.

 

Ricky Santana, an agent, says that he’s mad but he isn’t going to hide in fear.

 

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Hurricane

 

WWF vs. Alliance here. At least we can look at Lita. Hurricane has some weird almost funk music here and is European Champion. Heyman’s intro of Hurricane always cracked me up. “Able to leap tall cruiserweights in a single bound, more powerful than a local luchador, look, up on the stage, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, IT’S THE HURRICANE!” Hilarious. Matt vs. Hurricane to start us off which was the feud at this point.

 

Matt takes him down early and strikes Hurricane’s pose. The Hardys send the evil ones into each other and Matt gets a rollup for two. Fast paced stuff to start and I can’t keep up with it. Double team on Matt and we get a Lita chant. Hurricane is tagged in and puts the cape on. Cross body hits Matt for two. Matt grabs a Russian Leg Sweep and it’s off to Storm and Jeff.

 

Poetry in Motion to Hurricane but the one to Storm misses. Twist of Fate is blocked by a superkick by Hurricane which gets two. Jeff takes Hurricane down on the floor with a rana. Back inside the Twist and the Swanton take care of Storm to end this. Quick match and too short to rate, but fun for an opener.

 

Terri talks about thinking of this from a mother’s perspective and how so many people lost family members in this.

 

Rock says he can’t comprehend what the families are going through with this. He doesn’t seem sure of what to say which is totally understandable.

 

A local businessman says exactly what you would expect him to say.

 

Rob Van Dam vs. Spike Dudley

 

RVD is Hardcore Champion but this is non title. Molly Holly is with Spike and is very cute. After we hear about the Red Cross accepting donations, Spike goes right at RVD. Paul talks about how these two had wars in ECW. I don’t remember those at all but that’s just me. This is hardcore mind you.

 

Van Dam gets his spinning leg drop across the apron for two. RVD brings in a chair but Spike gets a victory roll for two. In an impressive move, RVD misses a moonsault but catches the chair and dropkicks it into the head of Spike. Paul praises him, which makes me wonder why he never put the ECW Title on him. Five Star ends this with ease in very short time so no rating.

 

Jericho says he’d rather be in New York doing whatever he could to help. We don’t know what’s coming in the next five minutes or ten minutes and tonight maybe we should be a bit kinder or more gentle. It was weird hearing Jericho be this serious but he was rather articulate and well thought out.

 

Stasiak says this will make us stronger. Very short and sweet.

 

Lita says she’s numb to this still and she has a lot of emotions because of this. She isn’t sure what to do and wouldn’t say she was. She says everyone should stop and take a deep breath which is what this show is for. Makes sense.

 

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

 

I’m reviewing this match on two shows at the moment. Kind of ironic I guess for no apparent reason. We do get the old CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN entrance which is always cool. Oh and he has the stupid glasses here which is always a cool perk. Edge is IC Champion and the feud is kind of going on at this point with the brothers (now not brothers).

 

Christian talks for a bit but is cut off by Jericho. Jericho makes fun of the ring entrance including a falsetto version of theme song with a little parody thrown in. For a bit there I forgot the point of this show, which I think is exactly the idea. Jericho comes straight at him and the fight is on. Attempt at the Walls starts almost 15 seconds in but Christian sends him into the post very quickly.

 

A single arm DDT by Christian gets two. I think Christian is in the Alliance here but I’m not sure. There’s an Alliance referee in there so that should sum things up pretty clearly. Jericho gets a shot in and here he comes (TO SAVE THE DAY! SAVE THE DAY!). Enziguri sets up the bulldog but the Lionsault gets knees. And never mind as Christian yells and gets rolled up for the pin. Another fast match that is too short to grade. Decent while it lasted though.

 

Kanyon says he’s proud of New York and his family who are cops in New York for coming together for this.

 

Taz says he’s scared because his family is in New York. He seemed to get cut off here almost.

 

Torrie says nothing of note.

 

Hurricane says this isn’t about being American but about being human. The people that did this are less than human.

 

Bubba Ray Dudley says that which does not kill us makes us stronger. Even though a lot of people were killed, America is stronger.

 

Here’s Rock, who is WCW Champion. That was always weird for some reason. He talks about how this is a special night and he’s here to have a great time, live on his show. He issues an open challenge.

 

Shawn Stasiak vs. The Rock

 

Stasiak is the son of the former WWF Champion, Stan the Man Stasiak. The problem was that there was a lack of talent between the generations. He has Stacy with him so that helps. Part of Stasiak’s gimmick was that he would charge at people and they would just step aside. Rock does just that and Stasiak goes flying. Rock issues the challenge again and once again goes flying.

 

Third time the challenge goes out and one more time Stasiak comes a-charging! Rock holds up and hand and wants to know what is wrong with this guy. Every week this happens and Stasiak either knocks himself unconscious or gets thrown out of the ring. It’s probably embarrassing and it probably hurts. Instead, let’s talk about pie.

 

Stasiak doesn’t like pie. Any longtime WWF fan immediately gets the joke here. Rock asks if he likes strudel but before he can answer Rock asks Stacy if she likes the People’s Strudel. She seems to be intrigued but Shawn interrupts again and wants a WCW Title shot RIGHT NOW. Wait isn’t this match already going on? Either way, handshake, Rock Bottom, pin. Absolutely hilarious segment with Rock being his usual awesome self.

 

Bill Demott says the firefighters and cops are the real role models, not him or the people in this company.

 

Ivory says there are more good people than bad in the world. America is made up of a bunch of different people and we’ll embrace this tragedy.

 

X-Factor vs. APA

 

X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.

 

Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.

 

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.

 

Angle says he’s not a real hero but rather the people helping in New York.

 

Booker T vs. Big Show

 

Booker is Alliance here and the hometown guy so this is a weird combination. They don’t mention him being from Houston here for semi-obvious reasons. He and Shane have a handicap match vs. Rock at Unforgiven. There was a live even in Lexington for Sunday but it was postponed. I have never heard of that show before and I don’t think I went to the rescheduled one. JR is still talking about barbecue.

 

Show chops away and puts Booker on the floor quickly. All Show to start as Ross and Heyman continue to have a good old time on commentary. Booker gets a superkick but is knocked right back down again. This is Show in the one piece swimsuit that never looked right at all on him. Chokeslam is reversed by knees to the ribs but the sunset flip just doesn’t work at all. Show misses a big boot and a missile dropkick puts Show down for the axe kick for a long two. A second also gets two so a front flip leg drop gets the pin finally. Another short quick match that you really can’t grade as it was so short. This is getting old.

 

Lance Storm says that he isn’t American but he’s a person. Every time he’s not at home he’s going to worry about his family. This is an attack on the world, not America.

 

D-Von says this wakes us up and tells us that this is real. Everything is screwed up right now in other countries so they want to bring us down with them.

 

A retired member of the Navy thanks Vince for doing all this which really was a big deal.

 

Lita vs. Ivory

 

Lita has the pigtails and doesn’t look right in them. She has the flag with her which is cool to see. Ivory is in the Alliance here and looks a lot better in leather than in the RTC stuff. Lita knocks her around with relative ease to start us off. Sunset flip doesn’t work as Ivory grabs the pigtails. We hit the chinlock which lasts for only a second or so. Another chinlock is fought out of and there’s a headscissors to put Ivory down. Twist of Fate and Moonsault gives us another short match that wasn’t very good. Again though, it’s not a typical show.

 

Stacy says she’s 21 so she has no idea what this means for the most part. She sounds like a high school chick here.

 

Austin says he can’t change the world but what he thinks is that whoever did this is a coward. Tonight by going back to work it’s the thing to do. He offers his condolences for those that lost their loved ones and we do have to mourn, but we need to get back to the way things were. That seemed to be the common answer and that makes sense I think.

 

Booker says the people that helped in New York are the real heroes. This is going to make us stronger.

 

And now there’s this part. This is the interview/talk that makes everyone look at the company and the McMahons and say “really?” Stephanie, looking TICKED, talks about how a few years ago people tried to take shots at her family and the company but they only made them stronger. She’s talking about the steroids trial. That’s what’s happening to America today. Yes, Vince McMahon allegedly breaking the law by distributing illegal drugs has just been compared to the September 11^th attacks. And people wonder why this is made fun of so much.

 

Dudley Boys/Test vs. William Regal/Tajiri/Scotty 2 Hotty

 

Tajiri has a title of some sort here. At least I think he does. Maybe he doesn’t and it’s just part of his outfit. D-Von vs. Regal to start us off. Scotty is literally jumping up and down and screaming for a tag. Tajiri comes in instead in an unintentionally funny bit. He kicks the tar out of everyone but Test takes care of that.

 

Bubba hammers on him a bit as Tajiri is the face in peril. That back splash that never hits doesn’t hit here and it’s off to Scotty to face Test. The Worm to Bubba is broken up as is What’s Up, the latter by mist to the face. There’s the Worm to Bubba and then thankfully Test kicks the tar out of Scotty for the pin.

 

Rating: D+. Just a six man here to fill in time before the end of the show. Test got a big push around this time but they never pulled the trigger on him. He got a bigger one the previous year which was his real chance at being champion which he probably should have been. Match was more or less just there and a way to get the Worm in.

 

Lillian says she isn’t sure about her family and friends who live in New York.

 

Farrooq is mad about it and says the people that did it are cowards.

 

Regal is from a country where terrorism is more common but he can’t explain how he feels here. We have to get on with our lives though, which seems to be happening.

 

Albert talks about being disgusted by what he saw.

 

Rhyno vs. Kurt Angle

 

Was there really any doubt that the American Hero would close the show? Rhyno grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all for the most part. Cross body gets two. Angle hammers away but Rhyno gets a shoulder into the corner to take over. Rhyno busts out a freaking airplane spin for two.

 

Off to the chinlock now which doesn’t last long. Rhyno gets the belly to belly but the Gore misses, as does the Olympic Slam. Double clothesline puts both guys down for a bit. Rolling Germans to Rhyno but Angle takes a spinebuster to put them both back down again. Gore hits but THE POWER OF AMERICA prevails and it’s only two. Angle Slam is the counter to an Irish Whip and since it’s AMERICA against Ireland the AMERICAN HERO wins it.

 

Rating: C. Just a match really. Kurt was banged up from an attack on Monday night so that was the idea of the match here. There was no drama or heat on the match and there wasn’t supposed to be. Decent enough for the main event of a shot that wasn’t about wrestling, so I can’t complain here.

 

Overall Rating: A+. This is a show that is worth seeing if you have the chance to find it. The idea was to get people’s minds off of what happened two days before and I think they did that. There were no stories advanced or anything but there weren’t supposed to be any advanced. This left you feeling positive that things were going to be alright again, which is exactly the idea at the end of the day. Good show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2013|
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Night of Champions and for the first time in months, things are looking good for Bryan coming into tonight. Bryan finally got the better of Orton on Monday night after Orton took too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Bryan to knee him in the head. We’re still in Canada, meaning Edge is here again tonight. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going.

Here’s Big Show to open things up. He reads an apology for his actions on Raw from a piece of paper. Show also apologizes to HHH for not doing a very basic job as well as failing as a locker room leader. It doesn’t sound very sincere though so here’s HHH to complain. He wants Big Show to come off like a professional businessman, which means doing what HHH asks. Since Big Show hasn’t, his job is in jeopardy but instead of firing him, HHH is just going to suspend him for the night without pay.

Show goes to leave but here’s Shield before he can get out of the ring. Show has to fight them all off at once and does as well as you can expect one guy to do in this situation. A single Ambrose dropkick is enough to send him to the floor but Big Show climbs onto the announce table.

Show punches a chair into Rollins’ face and dives off the table to take Reigns down with a clothesline (called a spear) before throwing him back into the ring. Rollins breaks up a double chokeslam but gets swatted out of the air. Show loads up the WMD but Reigns comes in with a chair to finally take Big Show down. A decent TripleBomb leaves Big Show laying.

Alicia Fox/Aksana/Layla vs. Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi

AJ is on commentary again. Brie stomps on Aksana to start before talking trash to the champion. Everything breaks down a few moments into the match but it’s quickly off to Fox vs. Naomi as AJ rails against the Divas show. Fox avoids the Rear View and puts on a front facelock, only to be suplexed down. Off to Natalya for a quick Sharpshooter attempt on Aksana but AJ runs in for the DQ at 2:25.

The Total Divas beat up AJ.

Here’s Vickie to introduce a dance off between R-Truth and Fandango. JBL shouting WHAT’S UP during the entrances is rather funny. Before it gets started, here’s Miz in a huge afro which only Cole finds funny. He calls himself Misco Inferno (JBL: “He looks more like Horshack.”) and Vickie allows him to enter the contest. We’re still not ready to go yet though as Great Khali wants to join in too. Truth and Fandango (with Summer) do their usual stuff, Miz (now in a pink jacket and costume jewelery) twerks a bit before Khali does his arm swinging. Miz wins, Fandango protests, Fandango gets beaten up, this took nine minutes.

Los Matadores need to get here already.

Ryback interviews a guy named Robert Evans (indy wrestler Archibald Peck) who says he’s 6’4 and 185lbs. Evans says his dream is to be a WWE Superstar one day and compete at Wrestlemania. Ryback likes that Evans has dreams but slaps the taste out of his mouth. It’s Ryback’s dream to beat up everyone like Evans.

Ricardo Rodriguez comes in to see Vickie who tells him that he can’t be in RVD’s corner at Night of Champions. They argue in Spanish with Vickie saying she’s his boss. It’s Ricardo vs. Alberto tonight and that’s all.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

Time to put a comedy character over a guy whose potential has been wasted for months on end. Sandow runs from the Cobra to start before headbutting Santino down and dropping some knees. The legweep sets up the Wind-Up elbow for two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Santino hiptosses out and hits the saluting headbutt, only to have the Cobra broken up again. Sandow misses a charge into the corner and the Cobra gets the pin at 2:05. Just go with it people.

Here are Heyman and Cole for an interview with Michael Cole. We look at a video recapping Heyman vs. Punk which is just a Night of Champions ad. Cole asks how Heyman and Axel plan to prevent Punk from getting his hands on Paul. Axel says that Heyman is under a lot of pressure to the point of hyperbole. However, Punk won’t get his hands on Paul because he can’t beat Axel.

Heyman, still looking pretty shabby, says that he’s being persecuted and begs for a boycott of the PPV. The fans have something better to spend their money on instead of the show, like sending your kids to college or buying your wife shoes. If you buy the show, you’re going to see Punk get his hands on him because Heyman has taught Punk how to get around the system.

It’s not because Punk is a better wrestler than Axel, but because Punk spent so much time with Heyman over the year. If you don’t boycott Night of Champions, Punk is going to give him such a beating that Heyman can’t even finish his sentence. This might be the last time you’ll get to see Paul Heyman and he’ll never forgive the people for putting him through this. Cue up the Goodbye song from the fans. Standard hard sell here but it still works.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

Del Rio kicks him down to start and hits a running knee into the ribs. Ricardo comes back with a quick dropkick for two but Alberto hits the low superkick to put him back down. Ricardo gets up two feet in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for two but gets crotched on the top. A reverse superplex gets the pin for Alberto at 2:23.

Post match Alberto puts on the armbreaker but RVD makes the save and hits a quick Five Star.

We get a video on Bryan vs. Orton, complete with portions of a sit down interview with HHH. There’s nothing new here: he’s doing what’s best for business, Orton is the face of the WWE because he’s the best option, Bryan will see the truth at the PPV, Cody Rhodes was just a sacrifice to keep people in line, he’ll admit it if Bryan proves him wrong.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title but if Ziggler wins he gets a title shot at the PPV. Ambrose shoves him into the corner to start but Dolph comes back with some forearms. Dean pounds him down with ease and slams Dolph’s head into the mat a few times. Back up and Ziggler takes him down with a cross body and some right hands send Ambrose to the floor. Dean gets back in and puts on a quick reverse chinlock but Dolph dropkicks him down and hits the ten elbow drops. Ambrose avoids a Stinger Splash as we take a break.

Back with Dean stomping on the ribs as Cole tells us nothing happened during the break. Dean traps the legs and cranks back on Dolph’s chin some more before jumping into Dolph’s raised boot. Now it’s Dolph’s turn to pound away in the corner and a running clothesline gets two. The Fameasser misses but Dolph gets two off an O’Connor Roll. Dean’s sleeper is countered with a jawbreaker and the Fameasser gets two, drawing in the Shield for the DQ at 6:10 shown of 8:40.

Rating: C+. This was going ok but Ziggler as a US Title contender doesn’t really work when he was world champion just a few months ago. Ambrose continues to look great in the ring but there’s still value in Shield as a team. The match picked up after the break but the ending hurt it a good bit.

Shield beats up Ziggler but here are the Usos for the save. Vickie confirms that Dolph gets a title shot and makes it six man tag after a break.

Usos/Dolph Ziggler vs. Shield

This is joined in progress with Ziggler getting the tag but being dragged into Shield’s corner for the triple teaming. We go to a wide shot for some reason as Dean works over Ziggler. Back to Rollins to stay on Dolph’s arm and some stomping in the corner. Reigns gets the tag and puts on a front facelock before it’s back to Dean for some right hands to the ribs and trash talk.

A running dropkick to a tied up Ziggler has Dolph in trouble but he backdrops Dean out to the floor. Reigns breaks up the hot tag but Ziggler avoids a charge, sending Roman’s shoulder into the post. The hot tag brings in Jimmy who speeds things up and hits a Bubba Bomb on Rollins. A Samoan Drop is good for two but Dean makes the save. Things break down again and Reigns spears Jey down, only to have Jimmy superkick Rollins. The Superfly Splash hits knees though, giving Seth the pin at 4:33 shown.

Rating: C. Nothing great here but the Usos are more than capable of speeding things up when they need to. It wasn’t a good match or anything and it doesn’t really set up a tag title match on Sunday because we have to see who wins the turmoil match. Then again, this isn’t related to Punk vs. Axel or Orton vs. Bryan so it’s not like it matters.

Time for the Cutting Edge. Edge talks about HHH bringing him back in for one week because it’s good for business. The fans chant Good For Business but Edge says he’s here because of all of them. Edge also isn’t going to forget what happened to Christian on Monday. When Christian comes back, it’s not for one more match but to take Shield out. Edge brings out his guests: Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton.

First question: “Randy, how does it feel to be a sellout?” Orton says Edge is jealous because he’s just a washed up talk show host who can’t wrestle anymore while Orton is a ten time world champion. Edge says he’s an eleven time champion so it’s not a big deal. Randy talks about being the face of the WWE and how we needed a change after ten years of John Cena. Daniel Bryan is a nice wrestler with a good following but he’s not best for business.

Edge thinks he knows what’s best for business, just like the fans know what’s best for business. Bryan says he doesn’t know what’s best for business but he knows what he wants. Orton calls him naive so Bryan tells him to shut up. It’s not about being best for business or the WWE balance sheets. It’s about passion, love and dreams. His dream is to be WWE Champion, not to be the face of a corporation. Orton jumps him but Bryan counters into the YES Lock, making Orton tap. Randy bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one where your tastes will vary depending on what you’re looking for in a show. There was very little wrestling here and what we got was nothing special at all. On the other hand though, they did a solid job of setting up the two major matches on PPV. I’m not sure how many people are interested in seeing the Punk vs. Axel/Heyman match but it’s been well built which is a good sign. There isn’t much on the card though so maybe more will be added on Sunday. Not much of a show this week though.

Results

Natalya/Naomi/Brie Bella b. Aksana/Alicia Fox/Layla via DQ when AJ Lee interfered

Santino Marella b. Damien Sandow – Cobra

Alberto Del Rio b. Ricardo Rodriguez – Reverse superplex

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Shield interfered

Shield b. Usos/Dolph Ziggler – Rollins pinned Jimmy after blocking a Superfly Splash

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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This is a tale of a Christmas from long ago.About eight years or so ago I was watching Tribute to the Troops when my dad came over.  Now my dad is the kind of guy that doesn’t impress easily.  He thinks everything was cooler when he was younger and that very little entertainment today is actually entertaining.  When he came over, John Cena was lifting Big Show up for the AA.  My dad’s jaw dropped and he was clearly impressed.

 

The moral to the story: show us something impressive that is going to catch some eyes, not the same stuff that is only going to interest people already watching.  More on this topic when I have a bit more time.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 9, 2013
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Bizarro Land tonight with three stories for the show. First of all, Edge is back for one show only to promote the season premiere of his TV show Haven and likely cutting a big promo on what’s going on in WWE at the moment. Other than that we have Goldust returning to fight for his brother’s job against Randy Orton in a match that will be more interesting for the story than the wrestling. On top of that it’s the go home show for Night of Champions so we’ll get the final push. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Edge to open things up to a big reaction. He still has the short hair which is still strange to see from him. Chimmel even throws in an over the voice crack for old times’ sake. It’s the Cutting Edge which is back due to a request from HHH. The boss wanted to have Edge back to talk with his old partner. Not Christian, but Randy Orton. Edge however doesn’t see anything interesting in Randy Orton because Edge made cashing in MITB cool.

Orton is just a puppet who has Shield do his fighting for him. Therefore, Orton won’t be the guest tonight. The guest will be someone good for business (Edge: “Say YES if you agree with me”): Daniel Bryan. As Bryan comes out, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Big Show knocking Bryan out cold.

Bryan says having this many people chanting your name helps because he’s taken a lot of TripleBombs, a lot of RKOs and a lot of Knock Out punches. No matter how many times HHH holds him down though, he’ll be WWE Champion. Edge says Bryan deserves a fair shot at Orton and asks Bryan if he thinks he can beat Randy. Can he shove it in HHH’s face and become WWE Champion? Can Bryan become the face of the WWE? Bryan is about to say yes but here’s Orton for an interruption.

Orton calls it a shame that Edge can only get a reaction in a place like Canada. Edge thinks Orton acts like an entirely different body part than a face. The Ortons have a history of long running medical problems. Bob had a bad arm forever and Orton has no spine. HHH has made Orton his puppet. As great a mind as HHH has for the business, he’s flat out bad at picking talent. This brings out HHH but Edge cuts him off, reminding HHH that he (Edge) can’t get in trouble because he doesn’t work here. HHH has said that Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena had no future so why should we believe what HHH says about Bryan?

HHH plugs Haven on Friday and admits that he was wrong about Jericho and Cena, but he was right about Edge being a failure. The bottom line is that the experiment of the Rated R Superstar was a failure because he never drew a dime. At the end of the day, the best way to shut up HHH is to prove him wrong. Bryan is going to get that chance by facing Dean Ambrose here tonight.

Since Dean will have Shield in his corner, Bryan can have Big Show in his corner. HHH says he isn’t a dictator, but Edge cuts him off by saying he earned his Hall of Fame ring instead of marrying into it. The boss says it’s easy to talk when you know no one can come down there and hurt you, but maybe he can hurt the ones Edge loves. Here’s Shield dragging out an unconscious Christian as we go to a break.

Back from a break with Edge storming in on HHH and Stephanie but Shield jumps between them. Edge wants to be cleared for one night only so he can take HHH apart. HHH wants to know who Edge thinks he is by storming into his city (HHH’s) of Toronto like this. He tells Edge to get out of this town and off of his show, threatening him with Shield.

Kofi Kingston vs. Curtis Axel

Non-title here. Axel hammers away on Kofi and hits a quick dropkick for two. Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a spinning chop to take Axel down. The SOS gets a quick two but Curtis grabs the rope to escape. Axel heads to the floor but comes back in to pound on Kofi in the corner, eventually drawing a DQ at 2:14.

Heyman yells at Axel that this can’t happen on Sunday. Axel goes over to Kofi but gets his head kicked off.

Video on Goldust to hype up his match with Orton.

Medics look at Heyman’s leg in the back due to him slipping on some water earlier. I smell goldbricking.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Bryan vs. Big Show and Bryan being laid out. Again.

Booker T comes up to Big Show in the back and talks about everything that big Show wants to do to everyone tonight. Show needs to remember his daughter and his family when he’s out there tonight. He can’t let his pride make him make a mistake. Show says pride is all he has left.

Wyatt Family promo.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

That’s quite the upgrade for Bray. Wyatt pounds Ziggler down to start and shouts GAME OVER. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but Bray runs through him as we take a quick break. Back with Ziggy fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught with an elbow to the jaw. Off to a reverse chinlock but Ziggler fights out and pounds away with everything he can throw. The dropkick and Fameasser gets two but Ziggler has to avoid the Family, allowing Bray to crush him in the corner. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 6:40. Not enough shown to rate but this was pretty much a Wyatt squash.

Video of Goldust’s comedy bits over the years, mainly with Booker T.

Heyman comes out on crutches, flanked by Curtis Axel and a guy who could be Damien Sandow’s twin but is actually a doctor. Heyman doesn’t care for the Canadian healthcare system, which is why he’s brought along his personal physician from New York City. Apparently Heyman has torn his meniscus or ACL from slipping on the water. Therefore, he’s out of the match with Punk on Sunday.

This brings out Maddox with the famed Dr. Samson for an official WWE medical examination. Heyman is told to sit in a chair for the knee examination and we have to see his bare leg. Fans: “This is awkward!” Samson checks all of the ligaments and Heyman says everything is very sore. The diagnosis is that Heyman is fine so Heyman freaks. This brings out Punk with the kendo stick and Heyman sprints off, meaning the jig is up. Punk beats up Heyman’s doctor for fun.

Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi vs. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana

AJ is on commentary as Trinity starts with Aksana. The Rear View gets a quick two as AJ talks about the Divas Title being reality. Trinity goes up top but Aksana shakes the ropes to bring her down and take over. Layla chokes Trinity on the ropes and gets two off a dropkick. AJ: “I’m too old for you Jerry. I’m 26.” Trinity finally gets in a shot to bring in Natalya vs. Alicia. Nattie cleans house as Cole talks about AJ having a 25% chance of keeping her title. AJ: “Well I had a million to one shot at making it in WWE and I main evented Raw.” Point to AJ. Natalya hooks the Sharpshooter on Alicia for the win at 2:53.

Video on Goldust’s in ring accomplishments.

Alberto Del Rio vs. R-Truth

Del Rio easily takes Truth down to start but gets sent to the floor for a dive by the non-champion. The fans chant for the announcers as Del Rio catches Truth with the running enziguri to knock him off the apron. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by a clothesline for two on Truth. R comes back with a leg lariat and the sitout front suplex for two of his own. Now the chant is for Undertaker as Del Rio hits a tilt-a-whirl slam. The low superkick and the armbreaker are good for the win for the champion at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up Del Rio for the title defense on Sunday but it was better than expected. It can’t be a good sign when Del Rio beating a jobber to the stars is a big win for him though. A champion of any kind shouldn’t need a win like this going into a PPV. It’s not a good sign for the booking leading into the title defense.

There’s a five team Tag Team Turmoil match with the Real Americans, the Usos, 3MB, Prime Time Players and Tons of Funk for the #1 contendership this Sunday.

Zeb Colter thinks Canada is a bad neighbor but they can all be saved if they start caring about more than hockey.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro takes him down with a dropkick as soon as the bell rings. A clothesline puts Santino down but he comes back with his strikes as Cole talks about Marella’s Battle Arts Academy. Cesaro will have none of this though and hooks a giant swing with a TON of revolutions. As in this goes on for like 30 seconds. It’s STILL going!

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

Rating: F. Not for the wrestling but for the stupid booking. We announce Cesaro for a big PPV match and have him do the awesome giant swing, but the comedy goof is back so we have to give him a win for no apparent reason. Either A, wait until after the PPV match or B, USE SOMEONE ELSE. Put a 3MB guy in there (only two will be in the PPV match) or Wade Barrett or someone else not doing something. Why waste a cool moment like the giant swing for the sake of giving a comedy guy a win? Because there’s no long term thinking in the midcard and hasn’t been for years.

Damien Sandow vs. The Miz

Miz takes over with a quick suplex but Sandow takes him into the corner with some shoulders to the ribs. Miz comes back with the top rope ax handle for two. Sandow avoids a low kick to the face and hits a quick Russian legsweep. The Wind-Up elbow gets two on Miz but he comes back with a kick to the leg. Cue Fandango for a distraction, allowing Sandow to roll Miz up for the pin at 3:49. I believe that’s Sandow’s first one on one win since June.

Rating: D. This was nothing at all as neither guy has anything going for them at all. I have no idea what it is that the fans love about the “distraction leads to a rollup” finish but it’s been beaten so far into the ground that it’s hit water. Miz vs. Fandango doesn’t do anything for anyone but at least it gives them something to do.

Goldust talks about Cody living right and how he wants to make up for his past failures by saving Cody’s job tonight. HHH interrupts and says he hopes Goldie doesn’t let them down.

Randy Orton vs. Goldust

If Goldust wins, his real life brother Cody Rhodes gets his job back. Kayfabe takes another bullet as Cole talks about Dustin Rhodes coming here and being given the Goldust character instead of just being a creepy guy who does this on his own idea. JBL drops the Crockett name to confuse most people under the age of 30. Goldust gets in some quick offense and knocks Orton the floor for a breather.

Back in and Orton pounds away but misses a dropkick, giving Goldust two. Orton fires off right hands but Goldust counters the powerslam into a rollup for two. Randy rolls to the floor to avoid Shattered Dreams and we take a break. Back with Goldust sending Randy into the steps but being sent into the post to give the champion momentum all over again. Orton gets two back inside and hits the circle stomp followed by a chinlock.

Goldust fights up and hits a bulldog out of nowhere to put both guys down. The sliding uppercut staggers Orton and Goldie rains down right hands in the corner. Goldust is looking really winded as he gets two off a rollup. Orton comes back with the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into Cross Rhodes for two. Not that it matters as the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: C-. Is this supposed to be surprising on any level? On the best day of his career, Goldust was an upper midcarder at best and he’s fighting the reigning WWE Champion. Goldust has never been close to Orton’s level but we’re supposed to believe he can come out of retirement and beat him here? He looked really winded near the end too which didn’t help things.

Post match Orton says he’ll shatter Bryan’s dreams at Night of Champions.

Stephanie “consoles” Goldust by reminding him of all the people he let down and calling him a loser. Oh and tell Dusty that she says hi.

Rob Van Dam vs. Ryback

Del Rio comes out and says that the people will be chanting ADR on Sunday. Ryback shoves Van Dam down to start but gets caught by a kick to the face. An elbow to the jaw puts Rob down and Ryback pounds away before hooking an abdominal stretch. Van Dam escapes and hits the step over kick followed by Rolling Thunder for one. The top rope front flip gets two on Ryback and the top rope kick puts him down again. Ryback bails to the floor to avoid the Five Star but Rob’s dive to the floor only hits barricade. Rob is crotched against the post (barely) for the DQ at 2:58.

Ryback Shell Shocks Van Dam post match.

Stephanie tells Big Show not to touch Shield during the match tonight or he’s fired. Big Show destroys a TV.

Dean Ambrose vs. Daniel Bryan

Big Show and Shield are at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start but Dean comes back with some chops. Daniel gets in some more kicks and Ambrose bails to the floor for a conference. Back in and Daniel kicks away even more before starting on Dean’s arm. The seated surfboard doesn’t last long as Ambrose makes the rope to escape. Bryan flips over Ambrose in the corner and hits the running clothesline followed by a single arm butterfly suplex. Bryan goes up for the headbutt, only to be distracted by Rollins and knocked into the apron as we take a break.

Back with Dean sending Bryan into the buckle but Bryan avoids a charge into the corner. There are the running dropkicks and the kicks in the corner followed by a top rope hurricanrana for two. Dean avoids the big swinging kick to the head but and grabs a rollup for two. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock but Ambrose gets to the rope. Bryan misses another dropkick in the corner and gets rolled up (with trunks) for two.

Dean loads up a superplex but gets crotched down into the Tree of Woe for more kicks. A belly to back superplex gets two on Ambrose as Big Show plays cheerleader. Bryan fires off more kicks to Ambrose but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Reigns’ spear hits the steps and Rollins’ dive hits the announce table. Dean DDTs Bryan on the floor and sends him back inside for two, only to get caught in a small package for the pin by Bryan at 14:08.

Rating: B. Good match here as you would expect from these two. Ambrose is MONEY in the ring and can have a good match against almost anyone. Bryan continues to be on fire with the crowd but the title isn’t changing on Sunday. I’m worried that the reactions are going to die down eventually but they’re still solid enough for now.

Post match Bryan avoids a charge from Ambrose and sends him into the tag champions. Cue Orton but Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT to take him down. Shield is back up though and beats Bryan down but Big Show gets up with a chair. Of course he drops it though as Orton throws Bryan back into the ring for the RKO. Big Show slowly walks up the ramp but HHH and Stephanie come out and order him to knock Bryan out.

Big Show doesn’t want to do it but Orton tells him to follow orders. Orton holds up Bryan for the punch but Big Show won’t do it. Orton throws Bryan down and takes too long yelling at Big Show, allowing Orton to hit the running knee to end the show. This would be the 1st consecutive show to end with Daniel Bryan standing up since he won the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked this one tonight. It felt like there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in a few weeks. Things are looking good for Night of Champions, but it feels like it’s going to be a filler show before we get to the next big show. Edge helped a bit but the Goldust match didn’t do much for me. The main event was solid though as Shield continues to have good matches every week. This wasn’t a great show but it did a good job at setting up the PPV, which is the right idea here.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Curtis Axel via DQ when Axel wouldn’t stop attacking Kingston in the ropes

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Natalya/Brie Bella/Naomi b. Layla/Alicia Fox/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Natalya

Alberto Del Rio b. R-Truth – Cross Armbreaker

Santino Marella b. Antonio Cesaro – Throw

Damien Sandow b. Miz – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Goldust – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Ryback via DQ when Ryback sent Van Dam into the post

Daniel Bryan b. Dean Ambrose – Small Package

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 2, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re closing in on Night of Champions with the main story still being Bryan vs. the Corporation. The interesting turn of events on Smackdown was Big Show getting very close to helping Bryan without actually doing so, by standing over Bryan to prevent Shield from attacking him. It only lasted for a few moments though as HHH made him leave to humiliate Show again, but the fuse is about to run out. Let’s get to it.

We open with Shield in their now usual spot between the ring and the stage and HHH in the ring. The Game introduces Orton for his opening address. Orton talks about how it’s his job to protect this company and he won’t let its image be tarnished. If you disrespect Orton, you’re disrespecting the WWE. The fans disagree with this theory and let the champion know about it. Last week Daniel Bryan defaced Orton’s new car so on Smackdown, Orton defaced Bryan by spray painting him.

Orton plays the audience’s favorite game by asking questions and then answering them himself. Does Bryan deserve a title shot? NO. Would Bryan have a chance against Randy Orton? NO. Will Bryan ever be an A-list player? NO. Should Bryan give up his title shot at Night of Champions? YES! HHH says that it’s his job to give the fans what they want every week. Over the last few weeks, HHH has been starting to worry about the health and well being of Daniel Bryan.

That’s a problem and the fans are making it even worse with their YES chants. Those chants are making Daniel Bryan confuse popularity with what is best for business. A few years ago there was a superstar named Doink the Clown. Doink was wildly popular but the idea of Doink being WWE Champion would have been bad for business. Daniel Bryan will never be WWE Champion, but maybe HHH can bring back the Cruiserweight or European Titles as realistic goals for Bryan.

Cue Bryan to the arena to say that HHH and Orton have made some great points. Bryan is thrilled to be compared to Doink the Clown but he doesn’t think Doink ever got chants like the ones he’s getting. The only clowns are standing in the ring right now because they think he’s actually giving up his title shot. HHH already gave up his manhood when he cut his hair and became a sellout and Orton gave up being in the WWE Title picture until someone gave him the title on a silver platter.

Bryan says he won’t give up his title shot and Orton wants to know why Bryan would be willing to take so many beatings. Bryan talks about how he’s used to being told he can’t do things but he’s proven everything wrong. That’s something Orton can never understand because he was handed everything. Daniel doesn’t think he can beat Orton for the WWE Championship because he knows he can.

Orton and HHH know it too because they keep putting him in handicap matches and gauntlet matches instead of letting them go one on one. Orton may have the genetics of a champion but he doesn’t have the heart of a champion. HHH wants to know why Bryan is so angry all the time. The anger should be directed at Big Show for never helping him when he has an iron clad contract. Therefore tonight it’s Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan.

HHH and Orton are in the back and seem very pleased with their decisions tonight. They run into Cody Rhodes who thinks the main event tonight will be great as long as no one gets involved. HHH wants to know why people would get involved. Cody asks Orton why he doesn’t want to face Daniel Bryan because that would be best for business. HHH doesn’t like Cody’s input and gives him a match with Randy Orton as a wedding present. If Cody loses he’s out of a job.

Fandango vs. The Miz

A hiptoss puts Fandango down but he rolls to the floor to escape the Figure Four. Miz sends Fandango into the barricade and does a quick dance with Summer before heading back inside. Fandango gets in a few shots to take over but a kick to the chest gets two for Miz. We hit the chinlock and take a break. Back with Fandango in control despite apparently having a broken nose.

Fandango goes to the middle rope but gets taken down by a dragon screw legwhip. The Figure Four is countered again and Miz misses the corner clothesline. A slingshot legdrop puts Miz down but it hurts Fandango’s leg again. Not that it matters as Miz puts on the Figure Four from the mat for the submission at 8:15.

Rating: D. The match was pretty bad but it’s understandable if Fandango got hurt halfway through it. I can even forgive the lack of a Skull Crushing Finale as you don’t want Fandango’s injured face going straight into the mat. Not much to see here but it’s a bit more understandable given the circumstances.

Booker T gives Daniel Bryan a pep talk but thinks maybe Bryan should give up his title match. Bryan: “Tell me you didn’t just say that.” It’s about Bryan’s life, not the title. Booker warns that HHH and company could ruin his life.

We recap Heyman/Axel vs. Punk from last week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. ???

Ziggler is here for a match but Dean Ambrose jumps him from behind and sends Ziggler into the post. Ambrose says Dolph needs to show more respect. Here’s Dolph’s opponent.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback

Ziggler says he can go but walks right into an overhead belly to belly. Ryback pounds away at the back of his head and tosses Ziggler around by the hair. Dolph is stomped down as the idiot fans tell Ryback that he can’t wrestle. The Meat Hook is blocked by a dropkick followed by a Stinger Splash and right hands in the corner. Not that they matter though as the Meat Hook takes Dolph down and Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:06.

Rating: D+. Again no time to go anywhere here but it sets up Ziggler vs. Ambrose at the PPV for the US Title. Ryback can be fine as a guy who just beats up various people until he has an actual feud with someone standing up to him. Also it’s a good idea to have Ziggler beaten down in advance to build sympathy for him.

Brad Maddox tells Stephanie and HHH that Big Show isn’t willing to fight Bryan tonight. Stephanie will deal with this in public.

Here’s Stephanie to deal with Big Show. She talks about how Big Show helped her grow up

backstage as a kid and how much she respects him. Big Show comes out and is told sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. She reminds him that he’s broke due to handing out too much money and some bad investments.

The iron clad contract doesn’t work if he doesn’t perform and his career can’t go on much longer due to getting older. How many other jobs are there for people his size? Stephanie says that the reality for Big Show is he won’t live that long because of his size, so he needs to take care of his family while he can. I have no idea what to say to that. Stephanie hugs him and Big Show is about to cry.

Edge will be back next week for one night only. Cool.

Big Show broke a lot of stuff during the break.

Here’s how to download the WWE App because the WWE thinks you’re stupid.

3MB vs. Prime Time Players

It’s Slater and Mahal for 3MB tonight. Slater starts with Titus and is quickly launched into the corner. Titus stomps him down and blows the whistle at the same time (Cole: “Whistle while you work!”) before it’s off to Young. Mahal comes in and gets caught in an atomic drop for two. The announcers of course ignore the match to talk about Big Show and his contract.

Young gets taken down and triple teamed by the Band with Slater getting two off a neckbreaker. Mahal comes in to drop a bunch of knees to the chest but Slater charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex. The hot tag brings in Titus who gets two off a big boot to Mahal. Everything breaks down and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin on Mahal at 5:28.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but it’s better than the Real Americans losing over and over again. The Players are probably going to get a title shot assuming the Shield keeps the belts that much longer. They’re not bad in the ring or anything and the fans are into the dance so no complaints for the most part.

Brad Maddox is on the phone when Heyman comes in and says get off. Heyman isn’t pleased with the idea of having to face Punk at Night of Champions because he’ll disappear if Punk gets his hands on him. He wants an explanation but here’s HHH to say he approved that match. Heyman’s tone changes as he asks why HHH made the match. HHH talks about how it’s what the fans want and maybe Heyman can weasel his way out of it.

Bray Wyatt talks about the story of Icarus flying too close to the sun and melting his wax wings. Kane tried to get too close to the Wyatt Family and it was like a lamb being led to the slaughter. Kane made his bed and now he’s burning in it.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

If Cody loses he’s gone. Orton pounds away in the corner to start and takes him down with a clothesline. Rhodes is draped over the top rope and sent out to the floor, but he sends Randy into the steps for a breather. Cody cranks on the arm and gets two off a dropkick before pounding away in the corner. Orton gets choked on the ropes but comes back with a poke to the eye for two. More right hands have Randy in control but Cody comes back with a release front suplex and right hands of his own in the corner. Orton hits the backbreaker out of said corner to send Cody to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Orton throwing Cody back inside for two but Cody comes back with an elbow to the jaw and an uppercut to put Rhodes down. A springboard missile dropkick gets a close two and the Disaster Kick gets the same. Orton sidesteps the moonsault press and puts Cody down with the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered into the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for a VERY close two. I thought that was it. The fans are WAY into Cody here but Orton snaps his throat across the top rope. Back in and Rhodes gets two off a rollup but another Disaster Kick misses and the RKO connects for the pin at 13:35.

Rating: B. When you have me believing that Cody Rhodes could beat Randy Orton, you’re doing something right. I’m not sure where they’re going to go with Cody now as he got a good rub here but apparently he’s gone for a bit due to the loss. Either they’re going back on what they said or he’s really taking time off for some reason. Still though, good match here.

HHH comes out to praise Cody but fires him anyway. The fans chant for Cody as he limps to the back.

Here’s CM Punk with a kendo stick and something to say. He says “I promise” which are words that don’t mean much to a lot of people around here. Punk says he’s tired of empty threats and that he’s having trouble of trying to come up with what to say next. Right now he doesn’t want to wrestle because he wants to fight. He wants to fight Paul Heyman and if he has to go through Curtis Axel to do so then that’s fine with him.

After what happened last week, even he doesn’t want to fight himself right now. Punk guarantees that in 13 days, he’s going to get what he wants. Heyman has been talking about Punk breaking his heart, but at Night of Champions Punk is going to break Heyman’s face. He promises.

We look at Heyman attacking Punk last week.

Big Show comes in to apologize to Bryan for the match tonight but Bryan understands and says he’ll win.

We recap AJ’s promo from last week on the Total Divas. It’s going to be interesting to see who is supposed to be cheered in this story.

Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella

The winner gets AJ at Night of Champions. AJ comes out for commentary and Natalya gets a quick rollup for two on Naomi. Brie hits her X-Factor for two on Naomi as well as AJ talks about how worthless the Total Divas are. Naomi tries a sunset flip on Brie but Natalya sends the Bella to the floor. The Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two but Natalya catches Brie coming off the top with a cross body. Naomi hits the Rear View on Natalya but AJ comes in for the DQ at 1:48. Fourway for the title I guess.

The Total Divas beat AJ down and leave her laying.

Los Matadores are still coming.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

Since RVD hasn’t beaten Sandow enough times already. Sandow pounds away in the corner and hooks a quick chinlock. More stomping ensues until Van Dam comes back with some kicks to the face. Cue Del Rio for a distraction, allowing Damien to knock Rob to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock, only to be put right back in the same hold. Rob fights up again but gets caught in an Edge-O-Matic for two. The Russian legsweep and Wind-Up Elbow get the same and it’s off to a double chicken wing. Rob fights up again and kicks Sandow down before getting two off Rolling Thunder. Damien gets snapped across the top rope and the Five Star gets the pin at 10:06. Del Rio never did anything.

Rating: D+. I’m tempted to just skip Sandow’s matches from now on. I haven’t thought he could win a singles match in weeks and there was no reason to assume he was going to do so here either. I believe his last singles win was in June, but we’re supposed to buy him as a world title contender. Hopefully he loses the case or something soon.

Stephanie makes the obvious fatal fourway for the title shot at the PPV.

We recap tonight’s show.

Cody is escorted from the building by security and admits that Orton was the better man. He rants about how much the McMahons have hated the Rhodes over the years and walks away.

The roster comes out to watch the main event again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Big Show doesn’t want to do this so Bryan goes after him, only to be shoved down. Bryan comes right back at him again with Big Show shouting don’t make him do this. Show throws him to the floor with Big Show saying calm down. Bryan comes back in again and takes Show down with some kicks, only to have Big Show LAUNCH him off in a kickout. The running dropkick in the corner has Big Show staggered but Bryan charges into a superkick. There are the chops to Bryan’s chest and a hard slam for good measure.

Show tells Daniel to stop fighting but Bryan keeps coming at him. Bryan dropkicks the knee out and fires off the kicks. A short DDT gets two but Big Show powers out again. Bryan goes up but dives into a shoulder to the ribs. Show loads up the WMD but starts to walk away. This draws out HHH and the Shield with the Game saying get back in the ring right now. Show keeps going as Shield gets in and beats Bryan down for the DQ at 5:56.

Rating: C-. This was fine but as usual there’s only so much you can do with Bryan against a guy this size. The match wasn’t all that bad and Bryan did what he could, but this was all about the story instead of the match. There’s nothing wrong with that, but on a night with some pretty lame wrestling we needed more than this.

Post match Big Show is about to cry again when HHH says knock Bryan out. Show loads up the punch but rolls to the floor instead. Stephanie meets him in the aisle and says think about his family which sends Big Show back inside. HHH tells him to knock Bryan out again and after showing off his Knucklehead level acting chops, Big Show knocks Bryan out. This would be the sixth consecutive show ending with Daniel Bryan laid out since he won the WWE Championship. Show leaves but here’s Orton to stand over Bryan to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was exhausting. For one thing it was the return of the WWE App as the announcers spent a long time explaining how great it was and how much we needed to download it. The match quality was pretty horrible other than the Orton match and the main event but that’s to be expected anymore. This is another example of how the show would be on fire if these were two hour shows but at three hours, the show is just extra warm.

Results

The Miz b. Fandango – Figure Four

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Prime Time Players b. 3MB – Clash of the Titus to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi went to a no contest when AJ Lee interfered

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Smackdown
Date: August 30, 2013
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We close out August with Daniel Bryan on a bad run of luck. For four straight shows now he’s been left laying by Randy Orton and the new Corporation, but luckily for him the fans are still WAY into him. That’s only going to last for so long though until the fans start to view him as a guy who got lucky against Cena instead of an elite level star. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

We get things going with MizTV featuring guests Big Show and Dolph Ziggler. Miz says the three of them were all on the stage along with forty other superstars while Daniel Bryan had to run the Shield gauntlet. They were all told that if they said anything, HHH would make them miserable. However, Miz thinks it’s time for them to speak up about how the WWE is being run. Big Show says that was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do. Ziggler is nervous to say anything and says let Big Show keep going. Miz is about to say something when HHH cuts him off.

HHH thinks MizTV is cool but wants to hear what Miz was about to say before he came to the ring and why Miz isn’t in a suit. Miz says you never know when a fight could break out and wants to know if he can ask HHH a question. HHH says no he can’t and asks why these three are taking the Daniel Bryan route and making it personal. They shouldn’t be jealous of Randy Orton. After all, Orton isn’t a guy who talks a lot but can’t back it up or a guy who just happens to be big, but (to Ziggler) at least he’s big enough.

HHH talks about how Orton being champion is what’s best for business, meaning it makes more money for all of them. Miz is jealous because he can’t get near the WWE Championship again, but since HHH is in a good mood he’s giving Miz a shot at Randy Orton tonight. HHH saw Ziggler looking miserable because he lost to the Shield in a 3-1 handicap match, so tonight he gets a rematch with all three guys. That leaves Big Show, who gets the night off. Instead he gets to sit next to the announcers and do nothing about it whatsoever. Show looks like he wants to chew through steel but goes and sits down.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz

Non-title of course with Big Show at ringside. Orton takes Miz into the corner to start and we get a clean break. Miz jumps over Orton in the corner and clotheslines him down but Orton easily escapes a Figure Four attempt. Orton staggers him with a headbutt and gets two off a dropkick. Miz is tossed to the floor as Orton is doing a good job at making his usual spots into heel moves. Miz is dropped back first onto the barricade for two back inside.

We hit the chinlock but Miz fights up and pounds on Orton in the corner until the referee pulls him away. The running clothesline in the corner sets up Miz’s top rope ax handle, only to have Orton kick him out of the air. The Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor….and here comes Shield as we take a break. Back with Shield standing between the ring and the ramp as Orton sends Miz into the barricade.

The fans chant for Big Show as Orton throws Miz back inside for two. Orton does the circle stomp and hits another chinlock but Miz fights up with some elbows. A neckbreaker gets two for Miz but Orton escapes the Skull Crushing Finale. Now the Elevated DDT connects but Miz counters the RKO into a backslide for two. A dropkick to the knee sets up the Figure Four and Orton is in trouble. Randy finally makes a rope and jumps to his feet for the RKO and the pin at 10:02 shown of 13:02.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Miz can have a decent performance against the right kind of opponent. The Figure Four still needs to go though as it just doesn’t fit the rest of Miz’s offense at all. As has been said many times, the guy used one move to get to the WWE Title and to the main event of Wrestlemania, so why would he need to change things? Good match here and a good win for Orton who got a clean pin.

Shield comes in for the post match beatdown but Bryan makes a save with a chair, sending the place into a frenzy. THIS is what they’ve been needing to do for weeks now.

Los Matadores are still coming.

Vickie yells at Bryan for what he just did and gives him a match with Ryback as a result.

We recap the Punk/Heyman/Axel segment from Raw. Thank goodness the fans were chanting Walrus instead of Boring because that was a great segment.

Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow says he’ll win and win and win until he’s world champion. Other than the winning part, he might be right and that’s kind of scary. Rob hits a quick kick to take over and jumps up top for a legdrop of all things, good for two. Sandow comes back by sending him shoulder first into the post followed by the Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Big Show is still at ringside in case you were wondering. Sandow hooks the chinlock but Rob quickly fights up and snaps off a hurricanrana. Damien slows RVD down with a big boot but Rob hits a springboard kick to the face and the Five Star gets the pin at 2:37.

Post match here’s Alberto who insults both Ricardo and RVD. Del Rio warns RVD to not sleep with the dogs because he’ll wake up with fleas.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Shield

Rollins starts for Shield but Dolph knocks the other two members off the apron before going after Seth. A cross body gets two for Dolph and he pounds away on Rollins’ head. Rollins gets him into the Shield corner for some stomping and it’s off to Reigns. A Samoan drop from the Samoan gets two and Ambrose comes in to talk trash and pound away. The fans chant for Ziggler as JBL is having a great time watching this destruction.

Dean shouts at Ziggler in the corner so Ziggler slaps him in the face and backdrops the US Champion to the floor. Ziggler can’t follow up though so it’s back to Rollins who counters the Fameasser into the always awesome looking buckle bomb. Reigns comes in off a blind tag and spears Ziggler out of his boots for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. What else could they have done here? Thankfully this doesn’t hurt Ziggler and I could see him getting the US Title shot at Night of Champions. That spear from Reigns continues to be awesome as I don’t remember anyone ever throwing their legs in the air like he does. It looks like he’s almost flying through the other person and it looks great every time.

Post match Shield chokes Ziggler on the ropes and taunts Big Show. The Triple Bomb leaves Ziggler laying and Big Show seething.

Here are Heyman and Axel with something to say. Axel introduces us to another clip of Heyman attacking Punk on Raw. Heyman wants to know what the fans want from him. Are they mad at him for the beating he gave his prodigal son on Monday? He isn’t sorry for what he did because the fans voted him into that situation. Did they think he was going to take his beating like a man?

For 434 days he and Punk were the reigning WWE Champion and every single one of their opponents were put down using Heyman’s plans and Punk’s implementation. Every time Punk has come up against Heyman, it’s been Punk on his back, looking up at his mentor. This brings us to Night of Champions, where Heyman might have to face Punk on his own again.

If that happens, the fans are expecting to see Punk beat Heyman into the ground, and Heyman is indeed afraid. If Punk gets his hands on him, you won’t see Paul Heyman again. However, that fear could be Punk’s worst enemy. Look at what Heyman has done to Punk out of love and think about what he could do if he was facing a beating at Punk’s hands. More greatness from Heyman here.

Wyatt Family vs. Tons of Funk

Harper starts with Tensai and the fat man knocking Luke to the floor. Tons of Funk hit a double standing splash to Harper but Rowan breaks up the big splash. Harper kicks Tensai in the face and it’s the discus lariat and splash combination for the pin on Tensai at 1:13. This was pretty sloppy for a seventy five second match.

Wyatt hits Sister Abigail on Tensai post match.

Los Matadores are still coming. That hasn’t changed in the last hour.

We look at the AJ promo against the Total Divas from Monday.

Ryback vs. Daniel Bryan

Ryback has a new split color singlet. Thankfully we only hear about the Escalade for the first time during Bryan’s entrance. Bryan charges right at him but gets shoved across the ring with ease. A slam puts Bryan down as Big Show looks on with a worried look. Ryback fires off some hard shoulders into the corner for two but after staggering Bryan with a headbutt, Ryback misses a charge into the post.

Bryan starts firing off the kicks and hits a running dropkick to the chest in the corner. Ryback rolls to the floor for the FLYING GOAT as Orton strolls down to the ring. The distraction allows Ryback to run Bryan over as we take a break. Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and firing off kicks to the legs.

Daniel loads up the running clothesline but gets caught in a hard spinebuster for no cover. The Meat Hook connects for two s Ryback loads up a belly to belly superplex. Bryan doesn’t feel like dying today so he headbutts Ryback down and hits the missile dropkick. Here come the kicks and the big one to the head is good for two. There’s the YES Lock but Orton comes in for the DQ at 6:25 shown of 9:25.

Rating: C+. These two have good chemistry together as Bryan knows how to play the David role to Ryback’s Goliath as well as anyone else. Bad character development and horrid win/loss record aside, there’s potential in Ryback as a monster heel. Good match here as I’m come to expect from these two.

Bryan is ready for Orton and catches him in the YES Lock but here’s Shield for the save. Big Show is out of his chair and looks like he’s about to explode. He finally slides into the ring but doesn’t touch anyone. HHH comes raving down the aisle, demanding that Big Show get out of the ring. Show stays in the ring and stares down at HHH before finally climbing out. He looks like he’s about to cry as HHH demands he go to the back.

The beating on Bryan continues as the announcers go into serious silent mode. Orton has Shield hold Bryan for more punishment and walks Bryan around the ring to look at all the people. The Batista thumbs up/down thing sets up the Triple Bomb and in case we haven’t channeled enough heel stables for you yet, Orton spray paints NO on Bryan’s chest to end the show. This would be the fifth consecutive show where Daniel Bryan has been left laying since winning the WWE Championship.

Overall Rating: B. I really liked tonight’s show as they treated it like things mattered. I’m liking the main story more and more as it’s reminiscent of 1998 when Undertaker refusing to fight Kane as Kane destroyed more and more people. At least we can almost guarantee the matches will be better this time around though. Overall though the show came off quite well with almost everything being at least good.

They could be on the verge of something huge here if they play their cards right, but they can’t keep having Bryan get destroyed forever. The silver lining though is Bryan isn’t losing matches and is being beaten down by impossible odds, so once he gets backup (which is clearly coming), he can fight Orton on level ground and get his big win.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sanodw – Five Star Frog Splash

Shield b. Dolph Ziggler – Spear

Wyatt Family b. Tons of Funk – Splash to Tensai

Daniel Bryan b. Ryback via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Note that this is very old and the quality isn’t what it would be today.

 

Smackdown (Debut Weekly Episode)
Date: August 26, 1999
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well, since I just reviewed Summerslam 99 for the series, I figured I’d throw this in as well. It’s four days since Summerslam, and all you really need to know is this: HHH won his first world title three days prior to this on Raw. That’s about it.  This is also the debut of one Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah.  Let’s get to it.

We open with what else, a recap of the end of Summerslam and then the next night on Raw where HHH breaks JR’s arm, followed by Shane demanding that Foley defend the title that night. Shane gives him a chair, and he hits Rock who for some reason was doing commentary.

A pedigree ends the epic reign of Mankind, and puts HHH one step closer to Flair. This was the big eagle belt too, so it looks amazing. For some reason, Ross is fine after having his arm snapped three days ago. You have to love pro wrestling. The music and pyro go off as I remember everything from this, which is used perfectly in the game series which I like.

We open with a video in which there naturally are no Smackdown clips. That’s likely the only time in history that’s happened. I miss the old setup and intro actually. Also, you may be thinking the first Smackdown was months before this, but that was just a special. This is the first regular weekly episode.

Anyway, we start with HHH coming to the ring for the first time as world champion, which is kind of a cool moment I guess. HHH winning the title was actually very well done, as he had built himself up for over three years at this point, and delaying it one extra day was brilliant. We get a loud vulgar chant as HHH says he has four words for them: I am the World Wrestling Federation Champion. Yeah, I have no idea how that’s four words either.

This is actually a bad promo as he’s rambling quite a bit. He more or less calls out Rock, and since HHH is a person, the People’s Champion comes out. It’s pretty cool that the show was named after one catchphrase. The fans are insane for this guy. You know, I think I used to be a Rock mark. I love his lines but back in the day I didn’t. That’s just kind of odd. Oh, Rock challenges for a title match tonight.

HHH says he’s not in his league. They turn this into a war of words and Rock just owns him on every line. Despite being a former world champion, you can really see that this is like his first time going for the belt, as his character was completely reinvented in just 6 months. Oh crud HBK is coming out. I forgot he was commissioner at the time.

He makes the match tonight, and somehow takes two minutes to say the match is tonight. Anyone that wants to criticize Vince for taking too long should go after HBK. It’s horrid. Oh and he’s the referee tonight. This was in a period where you couldn’t have a match without there being a guest referee. I couldn’t stand it.

Since this hasn’t gone on long enough, SHANE comes in as we reach 15 minutes for the opening segment. He makes himself the second guest referee for the match. HBK says that can’t happen because Shane will be busy in a match. Apparently it’s against Foley, who ALSO has to come out. Naturally he has a mic.

Apparently all the talk about stroking and screwing has his excited. He messes up some words (intentionally) and rips off some Rock stuff which always makes me laugh. I was always one of the dozens and dozens, just so it’s known. Rock says screw this and hits the ring and we’re on.

The Posse runs out to help Shane but X-Pac runs out to beat up the Posse, then the Pope runs out to fight off Pac, followed by Wolverine because he just doesn’t like the Pope, but he’s countered by the entire population of Uruguay. Literally, ten people were involved in that one segment. We’re twenty minutes in and that’s all that’s happened so far. This isn’t going to be easy is it?

Apparently there’s a triple threat tag title match tonight. Also some guy named Jericho has his first match. Test might get an answer to asking Stephanie to marry him, and we all know how well that winds up.

Jarrett is dragging Debra and Miss Kitty (who debuted Monday) to…some undisclosed location that I guess was supposed to be the ring. Billy Gunn is coming to the ring too.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Billy Gunn

Ok, so Jarrett won the IC and Euro belts on Sunday but on Monday he gave the Euro one to Mark Henry. Also, there was an open contract to face Jarrett for the IC belt and Gunn ran off to find a pen. In between Chyna signed it, kicking off her and Jarrett’s great feud. On Monday though, Jeff hit Chyna with a guitar, and Billy hit Jarrett, leading to this match.

See how nice it is to have two shows in a week where stories can be built up? See how nice that is? This is non title. I’m not a fan of Billy, but his running leapfrog was always pretty cool. Chyna comes out as Kitty gives Jeff a guitar. She accidentally nails Debra, allowing Gunn to roll up Jeff for the win. Chyna gets in and he starts to moon her but Chyna low blows him.

Rating: B. This is the first match in the history of Smackdown (technically) and Billy Gunn wins it? Wow, that’s a trivia answer no one wants. Anyway, this was actually a pretty good match. You have to judge TV and PPV matches differently due to time, and I’m doing so here.

Just keep that in mind: what I call a good match on TV doesn’t mean it would be good on PPV, which is what the majority of my scale is based on. Anyway, this was short but sweet with a lot of high impact moves in a very short timespan.

Lillian Garcia (WTF?) is with Al Snow in the back, saying that Pepper has been kidnapped by Bossman. Snow is freaked out over this.

Jericho has Finkel polishing his boots. That’s just funny.

We cut to Test who is pacing around nervously.

Tag Titles: APA vs. X–Pac/Kane vs. Big Show/Undertaker

APA lost the belts to Pac and Kane who lost them to the two tall guys, so there’s your backstory. The first thing that I notice here is that for the majority of his career, Taker simply has not cared about belts. Aside from his time with the WHC, do you ever remember him wearing a belt? On his way to the ring here as a tag champion, Paul Bearer is holding his belt for him.

It’s like Taker just doesn’t care, which can be good, but at the same time, I prefer someone like Austin who would throw the belt around and make sure that you KNEW he was the champion of the world. Anyway, just as the match starts, Taker sits down at the announce table, saying that this is going to be hard love for Show. Apparently Show wants to learn to be like Taker and he’ll do whatever it takes to do so.

This starts off fast and never stops being fast. Like I said in the Summerslam review, the problem here is that X-Pac is just out of his league here. Think about it. There are 6 people in this match. Aside from X-Pac, the smallest is Ron Simmons, who is a tank. X-Pac just doesn’t look right in there. This match really could be split into two parts.

Early in the match, we have the stereotypical Big Show, who is powerful, but can’t put together a good offense if his life depends on it. Kane and Bradshaw knock him to the floor and Taker calls him over. He slaps him in the head to begin the second half of the match. After this, Show dominates and once Kane is sent to the floor, Show chokeslams the tar out of Pac to win.

Rating: B. This was another good TV match. It’s about 5 minutes long but there are no slow periods in that 5 minutes at all. It is nonstop action the whole time which makes it very good. On TV you have to hold your audience as they have a bunch of other channels to watch. On PPV you don’t have to worry about that as you have their money already. This was well done and fast paced, making it a good match.

Test is still walking around. Stephanie arrives but doesn’t answer him yet.

Bossman comes out and says that Snow needs to come out. He says that Snow gets his dog back for a title shot. If not, he’ll kill the dog.

Commercial. There have been others but this is the only one where you can really tell that it is. Lawler pitching Magic cards is kind of funny.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Big Bossman

I guess he stole the dog on Monday. Yep, the dog is nervous and Jerry is no longer dry. Yeah that’s not really funny. Snow only cares about getting his dog back so he’s distracted. This is all of three minutes long and ends with Bossman slamming Snow in the head with the nightstick.

He of course leaves, stealing Pepper again in the process. A week later they would meet in a hotel room where Snow would be given dinner that was, you guessed it, Pepper. It ended up being decided in the Kennel From Hell match. If you from to see something awful, go look that one up.

Rating: C. I’ll go with average because it’s just too short to really grade. Snow did next to nothing, but that fit with the storyline of him being nervous and upset. I really don’t know where they thought this would wind up going, but whoever thought the Kennel match was a good idea should be shot.

In the back, X-Pac leaves, yelling about how he’s tired of losing. Yep, two losses to a dream team really is a horrible thing Sean. Kane calls out for him, and Ross says the rather dumb line of was that Kane? No JR. It was Elvis.

Jericho is on his way to the ring for his first match.

In the arena, Snow wakes up and is told that Pepper is gone. He SPRINTS to the back. I’ve never seen someone in wrestling run that fast.

Commercial.

Rock and HHH are shown on a split screen getting ready, as Ross says another brilliant line: it’ll never get any bigger than this. Well thanks JR. Now I know there’s no point to watching the future shows since this one will be the best ever. Seriously, how is he in the HOF and Solie isn’t?

Snow is frantically looking for Pepper and Bossman.

Road Dogg vs. Chris Jericho

As I said in the Summerslam review, Road Dogg was perfect for Jericho as he was someone that was equally good on the mic and therefore could match Jericho on the mic. Also at this time, Jericho was using the double power bomb for his finisher. We get some generic insults, but as predictable as he was, Road Dogg had all kinds of energy and charisma which no one can deny.

At this time, Jericho was the internet god who was being wasted in WCW forever and when he was signed, the IWC collectively orgasmed. Ross says this should be something. Yes JR, it’s called a wrestling match. If it wasn’t something, nothing would be happening. Jericho gets his Canadian teeth kicked in early on by Road Dogg, until the warrior Howard Finkle (I didn’t name him that) comes down and sprays something in Roadie’s eyes.

This lets Jericho just go nuts on his back, eventually turning into a Dudley and grabbing a table. He sets it up for Road Dogg but it gets countered into a DDT. We get a short comeback before Jericho counters into the double powerbomb with the seconds through the table. You know, if Roadie hadn’t grabbed Jericho’s hands, Jericho might not have been able to lift him for the second. Just a thought. Walls of Jericho follows as the suits run out for the save.

Rating: C+. It was ok I guess. I don’t get the point in having Jericho lose his first match other than to make Jericho look insane. That works I guess, but the in ring work wasn’t great for me.

Back from commercial, we see Jericho talking to Howard about how he had his job stolen by Tony Chimmel, and that Howard is a warrior and should go get it back. We cut to the arena where Tony is introducing a match, only to be interrupted by the music of the Ullllllllllllllltimate Warrior.

Fink runs down, hits the ropes and pounds on his chest as I try not to hurt myself from laughing so hard. He yells at Tony, which is weird to hear in that velvet smooth voice. He shoves Tony down, but of course gets the tar beaten out of him for it by Tony. This was hilarious, but the fans aren’t sure what to make of it. Jericho comes out and gets Fink and they leave.

Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

This never happens and Val is never seen. Ken passes Jericho and Fink on the way out and Jericho sends Fink after him. You can guess how this goes, but he distracts Ken long enough for Jericho to nail him with a chair and kick off Jericho’s first feud. Shamrock would be fed to Jericho and never be heard from again.

Stephanie comes out next. She needs to heave her hair straightened more often. Test is getting a very solid pop here. For the life of me I don’t get why they just threw him in a tag team. I heard rumors they were going to actually put the belt on him for all of a week but instead it stayed with HHH.

Granted this was about 5-6 months later. The fact that Stephanie said that doing this in the ring was perfect is just funny to me. I guess wrestling runs in her blood. Anyway, Test gets on one knee and she says yes immediately, completely no selling the question. Shane and the Posse run out, breaking their word from Sunday’s stipulation. Mankind comes out and chairs all of them for the save. He grabs a mic and says that they need to have their match right now.

Mankind vs. Shane McMahon

Before we start, Mankind says that Shane can have one good shot first. He turns his back and Shane hits him, but Foley is down for about 5 seconds before popping up and beating the tar out of Shane. The Posse is still out cold in the ring while this is happening. Just as I say that Mick rolls them out. Shane tries to run but gets caught because Foley is the fastest man alive. Just making sure you were paying attention.

Foley hits a side Communist legsweep but the Posse beats on him. Test conveniently gets up at the same time to fight them off as the Stooges run out to also help beat on the Posse. This is just flat out fun. Even Stephanie gets in on it, beating on one of them. Back in the ring, Chyna and HHH run out and hit Mankind in the….some undeterminable area with a chair to let Shane win. This just further proves my Foley is a career jobber theory, now available in the Old School section.

Rating: C-. This was just a big brawl and Shane’s offense was a clothesline I think. It was meant to just kind of progress the feud without actually doing anything, so I can’t really grade it fairly.

Jericho and Fink are running away, but Jericho leaves him behind so Shamrock can beat on him.

Cole is following Tori down the hall as she’s topless. For no apparent reason, she takes her pants off and walks down the hall in just a thong without saying anything.

Cole interviews Austin from something that happened earlier in the week. Austin says that he’ll be back from the knee injury that HHH caused at Summerslam in about a month or so. Austin is asked about how HHH has been a lot more aggressive lately, which he has been, and whether or not he stole it from Austin, which he did.

Evening Gown Match: Ivory vs. Tori

You know the drill here: get them to their underwear to win. These two had one of the worst matches of all time at Summerslam, followed by Ivory trying to make Tori lose her clothes. This was just weird. I forgot how much I hate Ivory’s music.

We cut to the back where the suits won’t let Tori come out. For some reason King doesn’t understand the difference between various states of undress, which isn’t really that complicated. She comes out in a tshirt over her thong. The announcers call Ivory Tori about 5 times which is annoying. It’s over in about a minute as Ivory is stripped. Luna comes out to pull Tori off Ivory.

Rating: N/A. Not enough to grade, but it was just completely pointless.

Lillian is with HHH and Chyna. The booing is so loud you can’t hear Lillian talking. HHH threatens Shawn to stay out of his way or else.

Rock is walking down the hallway towards the ring. Shawn is walking down the hallway towards the ring. Al Snow is still looking for Pepper. Test and Stephanie are congratulated as they leave.

WWF Title: Rock vs. HHH

Like I’ve said, Shawn is guest referee. His shorts are downright absurd. HHH comes out first and I think I like this music more. Rock comes out and they start very fast. It’s HHH getting his head handed to him early on and after a brief comeback, Rock gets him ready for the Rock Bottom. He doesn’t get it though because he has to drag HHH to the middle of the ring so the move happens at a good camera angle.

Pedigree misses too, so that’s 1-1 on missed finishers. They brawl up on the ramp for awhile with Rock just beating the heck out of him. They brawl in front of the announce table and with HBK looking right at them, Chyna low blows Rock. She gets ejected and then spends at least a minute arguing, costing Rock a chance at a can’t miss near fall. I mean really, how rude. Rock could have gotten a solid two there.

Shane comes out as HHH is in control here in the main event of the night of run ins. The rest of the match is mainly Shawn and Shane arguing. Rock starts his comeback as Lawler keeps thinking Shawn is going to screw HHH. Shane finally gets punched. Rock Bottom leads to the elbow, but as he turns to drop it, he gets kicked in the face by Shawn. This is shocking for some reason, despite the fact that HHH and Shawn used to be best friends. Pedigree ends the show as Chyna, Shane, HHH and Shawn celebrate.

Rating: B. By far and away the match of the night. It was like a PPV main event but moving at fast forward speed. It was good and there was a decent flow to it. No one thought Rock had a legit chance at winning, so they did the best they could and it came out pretty well. The chemistry these two had was off the charts to say the least and this was just paving the way for the classics they would have next year.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show that benefited from one thing: it was just an extension of Raw and painted blue. By doing this, it more or less inherits the Raw juggernaut upon being created. This feels like an episode of Raw which means it’s great. If you like WWF at this time, you’ll love this. It’s a packed show, but it never feels rushed, which is a good thing. Find it if you’re interested. It’s not great, but it’s certainly not dull.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling book as low as $4 at:

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: November 28, 2006
Location: HSBC Arena, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s finally the go home show for December to Dismember which means this is the end of an era in ECW. After this, the last of the terrible ECW stuff ends and we get into the real WWECW, meaning the quality goes way up. The main event tonight is Lashley vs. Big Show, which you would think would have gotten more of a build. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman, flanked by his security, in the ring to talk about the Chamber. He explains the rules of the match to us including telling us that each pod will contain a weapon. The new information for us tonight is what those weapons will be. The weapons will include a chair, a crowbar, a table, and a barbed wire ball bat and we get a demonstration of each. Oh man they knew this was going to SUCK.

Theme song.

RVD knows he might not walk out of the Chamber but the chance of being ECW Champion again makes the risk worth it.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Sabu says that he’ll sacrifice anything to be ECW Champion. Yeah he talks here, why do you ask? Feeling out process to start until Van Dam takes him down with a monkey flip for two. Sabu wisely grabs a leg but Van Dam arm drags him down for two more. Sabu’s top rope rana doesn’t work as Rob hangs onto the top rope before scooting down the rope to sit in the middle of it. Sabu tries a springboard dive but Van Dam jumps off the ropes into a cross body in a great midair collision.

We take a break and come back with Van Dam landing on the apron but not being able to suplex Sabu to the apron. Sabu tries a sunset bomb but Van Dam holds the ropes, sending Sabu crashing to the floor. A moonsault over the ropes mostly misses Sabu but Van Dam still gets two off a German suplex. Sabu takes the knee out and hits a springboard legdrop tot he back of Van Dan’s head. A slingshot legdrop misses though and Rob connects with Rolling Thunder. Back up and Sabu hits some springboard shots to the face for two but Van Dam blocks a springboard tornado DDT, setting up the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. The chemistry was really lacking here for two guys who have worked together as much as these two have. Sabu didn’t botch that much stuff so this would be considered a good performance for him. He’s so much better when he he keeps the crazy stuff to a minimum but the match never clicked here.

Video on Big Show vs. Lashley.

Hardy Boys vs. Elijah Burke/Sylvester Terkay

Terkay is a big MMA style guy who never did much in America. Jeff and Burke get things going with Hardy taking Elijah down with a headscissors. Off to Matt for a top wristlock won by Matt before Jeff comes back in with a dropkick for two. Terkay comes in and drills Jeff with a slam but misses a hard charge into the post. Matt comes in with a Side Effect for Burke and some clotheslines for Terkay. The Hardys double team Terkay down and hit Poetry in Motion, followed by the Twist/Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it wasn’t terrible. At the end of the day the Hardys were slumming it in ECW until they were ready for their real reunion tour on Raw and Samckdown. The match wasn’t anything of note but then again neither were Burke or Terkay in WWE at all.

Post match MNM, the Hardys’ opponents on Sunday, run in and lay out the brothers.

Some fans in Augusta (PPV site) are ready for the PPV. There was a press conference which is pathetic given how laughable the PPV has been. Note that there are a total of two matches announced and we’re five days from the show.

CM Punk vs. Test

Test pounds him down in the corner to start but Punk fires off forearms of his own. They head to the floor where Test is sent into the post before going back inside for a springboard clothesline from Punk. Test comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam and a chinlock but Punk sends him to the floor for a suicide dive. Punk sends him into the steps and they fight into the crowd for the double countout.

Rating: D+. If this sounded like it had no transitions and was just move after move, that’s exactly what it was. Test was such a generic heel at this point that there wasn’t much you could do with him. He reminds me of TNA’s Gunner during the period where Gunner was Mr. Intensity. There’s nothing to that and it’s really hard to get invested in a character like him.

Heyman tries to talk Big Show out of the match with Lashley but Show keeps walking.

We recap the Hardys’ match and beatdown by MNM. MNM says that was just a sample of how baller they are. Nitro’s words, not mine.

Another video on the Chamber.

Bobby Lashley vs. Big Show

Non-title of course. Lashley pounds away to start but Show comes back with a quick clothesline to take him down. A suplex does the same and Show follows it up with a superkick for no cover. Show continues his slow lumbering offense before going to the middle rope, allowing Lashley to suplex him down. The spear puts Show down but Heyman calls in his security for the DQ.

Rating: D. Big Show was such a disaster at this point and he was in desperate need of some time off to heal up and lose weight. The match was slow and dull with the majority being spent on Big Show walking around and waiting to do anything of note. The match just sucked as a result, much like a lot of ECW stuff around this time.

Test comes in to join in on the beatdown as Big Show hits a chokeslam. Heyman slaps Lashley over and over and Big Show knocks him out with the belt. Show covers him and Heyman counts a pin to end the show.

Overall Rating: F+. Oh man they knew December to Dismember was going to be terrible. Literally there are two matches announced and the rest of the show isn’t going to be announced until the show itself. As I said, the show is going to be a turning point for the brand and things won’t be the same afterwords. This show was terrible with everything being about the Chamber which did nothing to make me interested in the show at all. Absolutely awful all around with nothing of value at all.

Here’s December to Dismember if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/25/merry-christmas-have-some-december-to-dismember/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: November 21, 2006
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

I’ve really got to stop these five month breaks between reviewing shows. The main story here is we’re a week from Survivor Series and two weeks from December to Dismember. Yeah there was a week between PPVs and WWE was still surprised when the ECW show bombed. Tonight we finalize some plans for the Extreme Elimination Chamber match with RVD defending his spot against Hardcore Holly. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman narrating a video on Lashley jumping Hardcore Holly to take the last spot in the Extreme Elimination Chamber and taking Big Show down.

In a special treat tonight, the Hardy Boys will reunite.

Matt Striker has his classroom set up in the ring and says that we don’t have to wait for December to Dismember to see destruction. He compares his time as a teacher to Lashley’s tour of duty in the military but gets cut off by his opponent.

Bobby Lashley vs. Matt Striker

Lashley clears the classroom stuff out of the ring, including launching a DESK over his head. I’m talking about one of the big desks, not a school desk. Striker finally comes into the ring and is tossed around like a doll. A delayed vertical suplex sets up a spear and the Dominator ends Striker quick.

We get a clip of Jeff retaining the IC Title over Johnny Nitro in a ladder match last night.

Hardy Boys vs. Full Blooded Italians

Matt starts with Guido and cranks on the arm. It’s quickly off to the banged up Jeff to stay on the arm. The Hardys take turns cranking on the Italian’s limb before dropping Guido with a double back elbow. Tony Mamaluke comes in, only to walk into the Spin Cycle to put him down as well. Trinity, the Italians’ barely clothed manager, trips Jeff up to put him in trouble for the first time.

Mamaluke and Guido drop a double elbow on Jeff for two and it’s the Italians’ turn for some double teaming. Jeff finally fights up and hits a double dropkick to set up the hot tag to Matt. House is cleaned and the middle rope legdrop gets two on Guido. The Side Effect to Mamaluke sets up a middle rope powerbomb/neckbreaker combo to kill him dead. Matt lays Mamaluke out with the Twist and the Swanton is good for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a glorified squash here but there were a few dollars to be made off a Hardys reunion run so I can’t blame them for taking a shot here. The team still looked good together and were much more dangerous given their singles success around this time. The Mamalukes could have been any two guys and had the same result.

Heyman tells Van Dam that if he loses to Holly tonight, Holly gets his Chamber spot.

CM Punk vs. Kevin Thorn

Punk tries a go behind but Thorn pounds him down with ease instead. CM comes back with some kicks to the ribs, only to be dropped throat first on the top rope for his efforts. A backbreaker gets two for Thorn and it’s off to an early chinlock. Thorn transitions to a Boston crab as Kelly Kelly comes out to cheer Punk on. The cheering works as Punk slips through his legs and hooks the Anaconda Vice for the quick submission.

Post match Kelly celebrates with Punk but Ariel comes in for a catfight. Punk makes the save and the good people stand tall. Mike Knox stares them down from the ramp.

Here are Big Show and Heyman with something to say. Show talks about how dangerous the Chamber is going to be while using words like barbaric and brutality. He’s up against five challengers in the match but he likes his odds. No one from Undertaker to Flair to Batista has been able to beat him….and here’s Lashley. Bobby is ready to go but Show walks away, only to slug Lashley down. He loads up the WMD but Lashley beats him to the punch and sends him to the floor. Lashley wants to fight but Heyman holds him back.

Video on the EVILS of the Chamber.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

This is extreme rules and the winner goes to the Chamber. Before the match, Test fires Holly up in the back in a pointless moment. Were they running 15 seconds short or something? They slug it out to start with Rob taking over and kicking Holly in the head. Rolling Thunder gets two on Holly and Van Dam takes him to the floor for the spin kick to the back. We take a break and come back with Rob catapulting Holly into the bottom rope and hitting a spinwheel kick in the corner.

Rob stalks Holly but gets launched head first into a chair wedged between the ropes during the break. Holly stomps the chair onto Rob’s face for two and a hot shot onto the chair gets the same. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Van Dam comes back with a Stunner over the top rope to put Holly down. Van Dam tries to bring in another chair but Holly dropkicks him right back to the floor. Back in again and Hardcore puts the chair over Rob’s face for a guillotine legdrop, crushing Van Dam’s face.

Holly can’t follow up due to banging his leg on the chair and both guys are down. It’s Holly up first and stealing the timekeeper’s belt to give Rob a whooping. Van Dam knocks it out of his hands and kicks Holly in the face to get himself a breather. They slug it out with Rob taking over before superkicking Holly down.

A monkey flip sets up a top rope kick to the chest followed by the skateboard chair shot to the face. Rolling Thunder onto the chair gets two but Holly pelts the chair at Van Dam’s head to put him back down. Holly gets crotched on the top and superplexed down onto the chair, followed by the Five Star onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: C+. This started slow but got better in the end. As usual in ECW, the heels being very weak make these matches hard to get into. I mean, I’m supposed to believe Hardcore Holly is going to beat Rob Van Dam? Anyway, Holly was trying and the weapon shots weren’t bad, but the guys in the ring made it too hard to buy into.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t a bad show and they’re doing a good job of setting up the Chamber. Sabu and Test were barely here at all and RVD and Punk have their own stories going on instead of the Chamber, but Lashley is a monster who could hang with Big Show. By this point it’s clear that this is the WWE version of ECW instead of the original and thank goodness for that.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/12/survivor-series-count-up-2012-redo-2006-man-this-year-sucked/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at: