We open with the voiceover talking about the Chamber. Apparently Bryan, Orton and Mysterio are locked in already. We also look at the hotel stuff with Del Rio vs. Big Show from Raw on Monday.

For the first time in months, we actually get a theme song for Smackdown.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes

We recap the troubles HELL NO has been having lately.

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

Big Show yells at the guy that takes care of his bus and his steaks for screwing up. Oh and the toilet is clogged up again. Big Show is heading to the ring and Del Rio is lurking behind his bus.

Big Show vs. Kane

Post match Del Rio pops up on screen with the employee Show yelled at. He tells Big Show to come back and see the changes Del Rio has made. Show comes back and sees the bus up on blocks with the tires taken off. Del Rio covers Show in orange paint for good measure.

Jack Swagger vs. Justin Gabriel

Fandango is still coming. Oh joy.

Drew McIntyre vs. Tensai

Sin Cara vs. Antonio Cesaro

Orton says Henry has to earn his spot in the Chamber by going through him.

The Raw ReBound is Shield being chased off.

Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Rhodes

Big Show b. Kane – WMD

Jack Swagger b. Justin Gabriel – Patriot Act

Tensai b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when 3MB interfered

Antonio Cesaro b. Sin Cara – Neutralizer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my ebook of 1998 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon at:

I won’t be home on time tonight so this is the Smackdown review early.  This contains full spoilers so be forewarned.

Del Rio is pacing in the parking lot with a ball bat in hand, apparently waiting for Big Show.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. HELL NO

Great Khali vs. Jinder Mahal

This is fallout from Raw. Khali chops him a lot to start but Mahal takes him down and hooks a front facelock. That goes about as well as you would expect on a guy like Khali as Mahal is thrown off. Slater and Horny chase each other around as Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge for the pin at 1:52.

Teddy tells Booker that he brought Swagger back. The Rhodes Scholars interrupt the conversation and talk about splitting up the team. Sandow quotes some French author and the Scholars hug. The end result of this is Sheamus vs. Sandow.

We recap the ending of Raw from Monday and see an exclusive of Vince being taken away on a stretcher.

Now we recap the end of the Rumble.

Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow immediately bails to the floor but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Back in and Damien gets in some stomps and a choke with the knee as Sheamus is in a bit of trouble. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow for one. Sheamus starts firing back but Sandow pounds on him in the corner to take over in a surprising comeback. The real comeback by Sheamus starts with the usual and even though Sandow escapes White Noise, he gets caught in the ten forearms in the ropes. Not that any of it matters though as Shield comes out for the DQ at 3:00 or so. No rating due to length but the match was ok.

Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Rollins as he comes in but Ambrose trips him up and the Irishman is beaten down. Rollins gets back in and the TripleBomb hits.

Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Barrett puts him in the ropes for his running boot to the face but it only gets two. Off to a chinlock but Orton snap mares out of it. Here come the clotheslines and powerslam but Barrett heads to the floor. Barrett loads up the Bull Hammer but it hits the post in a wince inducing miss. Back in and the Elevated DDT hits, setting up the RKO for the clean pin at 4:04.

Post break Barrett gets in a fight backstage with Bo Dallas.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

We recap Punk challenging Rock to a rematch.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

They slug it out and Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. Del Rio fires off more kicks and a low superkick gets two. The cross armbreaker is escaped though and a Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and Alberto pounds away on the back before hitting a Backstabber for two. The champion goes up again but jumps into a dropkick for a VERY close two. Out of nowhere Alberto counters the Zig Zag into the armbreaker for the tap out at 10:08 shown of 13:38.

To the shock of no one, Big Show has Ricardo by the neck and knocks him out after yelling at Del Rio. Alberto sprints to the back to be with his buddy as the show ends.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. HELL NO – Top rope splash to Bryan

Great Khali b. Jinder Mahal – Punjabi Plunge

Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Ankle Lock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

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Big Show

Ziggler

Orton

Sheamus

Also you could throw in Ryback, Punk and Jericho as potential challengers.  That is a DEEP main event scene.  On Raw we have Rock, Cena and Punk and that’s it.  I’m way more fired up about the WHC right now than the WWE Title.

I think the Scholars finally get the belts.  They’ve been losing every time they fight lately so they have to get them soon.  Interesting note: if they do win, they’ll only be the second team ever to win the belts at the Rumble.

Del Rio retains and as usual I’ll predict a cash in and expect to be wrong.

Rock wins the title.  You know he’s getting it before Wrestlemania so it’s either here or in the Chamber.

I’ll take Cena to win the Rumble.  I can’t imagine they would give it to Ziggler and the only other option is Sheamus.  I don’t think they’ll do that twice in a row though.

If Kaitlyn (I had to think to remember who the champion was) defends the title, she’ll keep it.

Overall the show looks pretty solid with only one potentially uninteresting match in the tag titles.  Other than that though, everything looks to be a solid option.  Punk vs. Rock finally got me hooked with their segment on Smackdown last night and I need to see this match.  I’m fired up for the Rumble but then again it’s one of my favorite shows of the year.

Thoughts/predictions?

Rock is going to be here again tonight to address his attack by the Shield.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Why does WWE insist on giving us the same match six or seven times in as many weeks sometimes? They slug it out to start with Sheamus getting two off a clothesline. Wade comes back with a dropkick of all things for the same result and we head to the floor for a bit. As they come back in Sheamus loads up the forearms in the ropes but Wade comes back with a guillotine on the ropes and a big boot to send Sheamus to the floor.

Video on Rock being attacked by the Shield on Monday.

Heyman and Punk are here.

Natalya vs. Rosa Mendes

Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

The Miz vs. Darren Young

Rumble By The Numbers. I love this.

30 superstars

1 winner

36 Hall of Famers who have competed in the Rumble

754 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn Michaels, a record

35 eliminations by Kane, good for second place

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001

201,497lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or over 100 tons or 457 Big Shows

440,004 people that have attended the Rumble

62:12 that Rey Mysterio stayed in the 2006 Rumble, another record

3 wins for Austin, the most ever

2 seconds that Warlord lasted in 1989

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 is the number of wins for both #1 and #30

4 is the number of wins for entrant #27, the most ever

58% of winners that win a world title at Wrestlemania

HELL NO/Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show/Rhodes Scholars

Rating: C+. The countouts were a nice idea but having three of them was probably too much. It is good to have the guys in the title match square off before the title match though and having Del Rio get a countout win is probably the best thing they could have done. This was a pretty good idea although more of the tag teams interacting would have been nice.

Post match Big Show lays out Alberto and covers him with the announce table just like Alberto did to him. Show counts to ten in both English and Spanish for good measure to end the show.

Results

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick

Natalya b. Rosa Mendes – Sharpshooter

Randy Orton b. Drew McIntyre via DQ when Jinder Mahal interfered

The Miz b. Darren Young – Figure Four Leg Lock

HELL NO/Alberto Del Rio b. Rhodes Scholars/Big Show – Enziguri to Rhodes

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Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

Royal Rumble

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.