Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re going outside for the first time in a long time for this one. It’s also the first time the show has been in Florida which is odd for some reason. Anyway the main events here are Undertaker challenging Edge for the title and Orton defending against HHH and Cena. As for HHH’s life mate Shawn, he’s facing Flair in what was pretty clearly going to be Flair’s last match. Let’s get to it.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The set is awesome with palm trees everywhere and a big canopy.

As usual, the big names on tonight’s show talk about how important this night is to them. It’s a used formula, but it always works.

This transitions into a video about how so many things can change in a year. People can return, champions can fall and surprises can occur, but it all culminates here.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl which means street fight. Finlay was revealed to be Hornswoggle’s dad and JBL beat up the tiny man as a favor to Vince. Tonight it’s about revenge. Horny comes out with Finlay to appeal to the kids. Finlay charges at the ring and gets drilled by a knee to the head. JBL pounds away on the floor but gets sent shoulder first into the steps. We head inside for the opening bell and Finlay slides right back out to find some trashcans.

As he gets back in though JBL CRACKS him with a can and picks up some cookie sheets. Now the steps are brought in but JBL can’t powerbomb Finlay onto them. Some cookie sheet shots to the head put JBL down for two but a big boot does the same to Finlay. JBL stops to yell at Horny, allowing for the shot with that Irish club that I can’t spell. Since this is a WWE hardcore style match, it’s table time.

The table is set up in the corner but Finlay picks up the steps instead. JBL bails to the floor and beats on Horny, only to be rammed into the announce table by Papa Horny for his efforts. A trashcan lid to the head stops Finlay and gets two back inside, allowing JBL to pick up a trashcan and LAUNCH IT at Horny. That looked great.

Speaking of trashcans, a shot to JBL breaks up the Clothesline and Finlay blasts him with a lid for good measure. JBL is sent through the table for two and the fans are pleased. Finlay picks up the steps but gets blasted in the knee by a kendo stick, allowing JBL to knock him out with the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. The whole point of this was to have a power brawl with some basic weapons which is what we got. I’m really not sure on JBL winning as the fans were solidly behind Horny and Finlay, but at least the match was entertaining and there were some hard shots in there. Good stuff here.

Kim Kardashian is guest hostess. She wasn’t famous for the most part yet here. Kennedy pops in and says he’ll win MITB and Kardashian is a little disturbed. Well to be fair she disturbs a lot of people so everything is even.

CM Punk vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. John Morrison vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Morrison is a tag champion and MVP is US Champion, having held it for nearly a year. Jericho is also Intercontinental Champion because what else is he supposed to do? Everyone goes after a ladder to start other than MVP who stays in the ring. Someone slides one in and MVP uses it to knock everyone down. Jericho brings in a big ladder and it’s time for a duel. MVP goes down and here’s Morrison to use his own ladder to send Jericho down.

In an awesome move, Morrison goes up top with the ladder and moonsaults down onto a bunch of guys at once. Kennedy uses the distraction to go up but Jericho makes the save. He tries a catapult on Kennedy but sends him onto the ladder by mistake. Morrison dives onto the ladder to stop Kennedy but Shelton climbs his own ladder to make it a three way race. Kennedy loads up a superplex on Morrison but Shelton jumps over both of them with a sunset flip to make it a Tower of Doom. Cool spot.

Carlito tries to shove Shelton off the ladder but he lands on the top rope on his feet. Shelton shoves the ladder at Carlito and tries to dive onto said ladder but it gives way. Punk stops Shelton from going up and hits the GTS but Kennedy stops him with the rolling fireman’s carry onto a ladder. MVP is back in now to kick Kennedy in the head but gets sent into a ladder by Carlito.

Shelton’s dragon whip CRACKS Carlito in the head but as he goes up, Kennedy and Carlito shove the ladder forward, sending Shelton over the top and through a ladder which was bridged between the ring and the barricade. Carlito and Kennedy go up but MVP breaks that up, only to be broken up by Morrison. Jericho breaks up Morrison’s attempt by putting him in the Walls on top of the ladder. Again, awesome. Kennedy tries to use the opening but Jericho throws John down and starts brawling.

Punk and Carlito dive at the ladders to make it a fourway with only Jericho lasting on top. Carlito comes back with the Backstabber off the ladder and everyone is down again. MVP goes up the ladder but here’s the returning Matt Hardy to stop him with a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Everyone is back in again and Jericho beats on all of them with the ladder. In a cool visual one ladder is jammed into the bottom of another, so as Morrison climbs the vertical (and unfolded) one, Jericho shoves it back into the corner and onto Punk.

Carlito and Jericho go up but Carlito spits apple in the face to break it up. Kennedy shoves Carlito off but gets hit in the ribs with a ladder by Punk. Jericho hits a Codebreaker with a ladder onto Punk to put everyone not named Jericho down. Punk goes up to stop Jericho but gets hit in the face by the briefcase. Punk climbs up again and knocks Jericho into the Tree of Woe with a shot to the head, allowing Punk to climb up and win the briefcase.

Rating: B. Good MITB here but as usual the high amount of people hurt it. Nothing here really stood out other than the Walls and Matt’s return, as you can only get so much out of the same spots we’ve seen before. It’s certainly good but it’s a step below some of the other stuff, and this would only get worse until we got some fresh blood in there. A power guy wouldn’t hurt either.

Orton, HHH and Cena are ready.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. The big deal of this was having Rock back to induct Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia, his father and grandfather. The headliner though was Ric Flair who of course had everyone in tears.

Fink comes out to do the live introductions of this year’s class. They include the Brisco Brothers, Gordon Solie (represented by his kids), Johnson and Maivia, Eddie Graham, Mae Young (who tries to strip) and Flair (represented by his children, including Reid who died about three days before this was written).

Snoop Dog is here to emcee the Playboy match later and apparently has a friend in Festus. Heel Santino Marella comes up to say that he’s going to be at the match later but Snoop rings the bell to send Festus into a rage. Mick Foley pops up for a cameo, complete with Snoop Sock.

Batista vs. Umaga

This is a Battle for Brand Supremacy with Batista on the blue team and Umaga on the red team. Seriously that’s the whole story here. Regal and Teddy are here as GM’s/motivators. Slugout to start followed by Umaga missing a charge into the corner. Batista sends him to the floor but once back inside Umaga takes Big Dave down with a spinwheel kick (decent one too). A big unbooted foot sends Batista to the floor and Umaga is in full control.

Umaga gets nowhere off a quick nerve hold and gets even worse off a missed swan dive. Batista can’t slam him down though and Umaga falls on top for two. A HARD kick to Batista’s back sets up another nerve hold to keep things slow. Back up and Batista walks into a Samoan Drop for another near fall. They fight up again and Batista gets up a boot in the corner to slow Umaga down. After blocking the Samoan Spike, Batista hits a spinebuster and the “Batista Bomb” (read as Batista picks him up and falls backwards to send Umaga to the mat) for the pin.

Rating: D-. This was AWFUL with Batista doing nothing and being booed for most of his comeback. I can’t say I blame the fans either as the match was just dull all around. How this makes Smackdown bigger than Raw is beyond me but that’s what WWE says so who am I to argue? Match sucked.

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, the latter being about as tall as my grandmother.

We look at the battle royal from the preshow with Kane winning a shot at the ECW Title.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

In less time than it takes to type “in less time than it takes to type”, Kane chokeslams Chavo and pins him for the title. Match ran about 6 seconds.

Actress Raven Symone is here for some charity thing and SHOUTS ABOUT IT A LOT.

We recap Shawn vs. Flair. This was an odd build up as Vince said that the next match Flair lost would mean his retirement. This basically started Flair’s retirement tour as he held onto the title in upset after upset until he was all of a sudden on a roll. This led to Flair challenging Mr. Wrestlemania Shawn Michaels to a showdown at Wrestlemania, because if Flair can’t beat him he doesn’t want to keep going.

Flair was inducted into the Hall of Fame and it was made as clear as possible that Flair was going down to Shawn in Orlando. This led to a tear jerking video set to Leave the Memories Alone with a highlight reel of Flair’s career. The idea is that Shawn doesn’t want to do this but Flair wants Shawn to bring it.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”

Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.

Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.

Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.

Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.

Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.

Edge talks about being a Hulkamaniac at Wrestlemania 6 and watching his hero losing. His innocence was lost that day but it’s ok. His life has come full circle because people rely on Undertaker to win at Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s taking everyone innocence by breaking the streak.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.

Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.

Post match Snoop lays out Santino with a clothesline and makes out with Maria. I’ll give him this: he seemed to be having a blast out there.

We recap Orton vs. HHH vs. Cena. Orton won the title by forfeit at No Mercy and Cena is back from injury to reclaim the title that he never lost. HHH won the Elimination Chamber to get a shot as well.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather which is the big celebrity match of the night. Big Show was a bully to the much smaller Mayweather at No Way Out where Floyd legitimately broke Show’s nose with a right hand, setting up tonight’s No DQ match. The big question was who do we cheer for in this match? The bully or the guy who keeps running his mouth and brags about how no one can beat him? That question was never answered even after the match was over. Mayweather allegedly got $20 million for this one match. He’s a world champion boxer if you’re not a fan of his.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show

You can by pin, submission or knockout. Other than that anything goes. Floyd is in gloves which would seem to be a disadvantage for him but whatever. He bobs and weaves a lot before firing off some nice punches to Big Show. Mayweather stops for a drink from a chalice (seriously) and Show beats up Mayweather’s team a bit. Show grabs an incoming punch and tries to stomp on Floyd’s hand. Smart strategy.

Show lifts him up for a chokeslam but that lets Floyd get on even level with Show’s head. Some rights to the face stagger show but Mayweather tries to choke him out, which actually works for a bit. Show finally flips him over and steps on Floyd’s left hand. The guys on the floor FREAK and say that’s not allowed before Show chops Mayweather in the corner. Show stands on Floyd’s back before putting him down with a side slam.

A headbutt stops Floyd’s comeback bid and there’s an elbow drop for good measure. Mayweather tries to bail but Big Show chases the team down, beats them up, and throws Floyd back in the ring. Show loads up the chokeslam but a handler hits Show with a chair. He gets chokeslammed down but Mayweather gets the chair and blasts Show with it a few times. A low blow and three chair shots to the head sets up a brass knuckle right hand to Show’s jaw for the knockout (and Show was on his knees at 9).

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where all you can say is “well what else were you expecting?” Again though, who was I supposed to cheer for? The giant bully, or the loud bragging guy who used chairs and brass knuckles to win? Like I said, the story was head scratch inducing, but this was tremendous fun.

Wrestlemania is coming back to Houston next year.

Kim Kardashian announces the new attendance record: 74,635.

We get a video on the Streak which is interrupted by Edge’s theme music. Edge already beat Undertaker once by cashing in MITB last year and then costing him the title at Survivor Series. They’re trying to play up Streak vs. streak here but Edge lost in MITB last year.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Edge has Teddy wheel out Vickie who is in a wheelchair as always. The Canadian is defending here. The champ pounds away to start but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Back in and Taker comes back with a Stunner onto the top rope to put Edge down. Taker slugs away but charges into a boot in the corner, only to come back with the jumping clothesline for two. Old School is countered but Taker rolls forward and armdrags Edge down.

Edge sends Taker over the corner by avoiding a big boot, possibly injuring Taker’s arm in the process. A spear sends Taker off the apron and into the barricade to work over the ribs a bit. Edge hits a hard baseball slide to send Taker back into the barricade as the match slows down a bit. With Undertaker on the apron, Edge hits a running neckbreaker to snap Undertaker’s neck across the top rope.

Back in and Edge pounds away even more before hitting a spear into the corner for no cover. Instead it’s a dropkick to put Taker down again and Edge goes up, only to be shoved down to the floor with a sick thud. There’s the Taker Dive to continue the Wrestlemania tradition. Taker drops the apron legdrop and heads back inside for the Last Ride but his back won’t let him use it.

They head outside again and Edge drops Taker back first onto the barricade, sending the big man into the crowd. Off to a half crab by Edge followed by a very modified Indian Deathlock which Undertaker kicks away. Back up and they slug it out with Taker getting control and the cheers from Undertaker. The challenger gets the better of it and hits a running clothesline in the corner. Make it a pair of them followed by snake eyes but the big boot is blocked for two by Edge.

The chokeslam is countered into the Impaler DDT for two. The second chokeslam attempt works but it only gets a near fall as well. Old School is broken up again and Edge pounds away in the corner but has to counter the Last Ride out of the corner with a neckbreaker for two. These counters are getting awesome. The Last Ride (more of a regular powerbomb here) hits but it only gets two. Edge counters the Tombstone into the Edge-O-Matic for ANOTHER close two. The fans aren’t buying Edge’s near falls.

Back up and Taker’s big boot hits the referee before Edge takes down the Dead Man. A low blow breaks up a chokeslam bid and Edge blasts Taker in the head with a camera. Taker sits up and like a dolt, Edge tries a Tombstone. Taker reverses into one of his own and here’s another referee running a LONG way down the aisle to count two. Cue Hawkins and Ryder (as in Curt and Zack, the Edgeheads) to distract Taker and let Edge hit the spear for two. NOW the fans are fired up about the kickout. Another spear connects but Taker grabs the Hell’s Gate submission out of nowhere and Edge taps away the title to make it 15-0.

Rating: A. I kept hearing about how great this match was and while I remember it being good, I don’t remember it being this good. It’s pretty safe to say that this is Edge’s best non-gimmick match ever and it’s one of his best ever period. Great match here and it would set up a series of solid gimmick matches between the two over the summer.

A lot of fireworks end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. There’s some very good stuff on here along with some historic stuff to go with it. The bad stuff is mostly short and the main event was very solid and better than I remember. I don’t know if I’d say it’s one of the best ever but it’s in the running for that list. Really fun show here which was better than I was expecting it to be.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

Redo: B

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

Redo: D-

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

Redo: F+

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

Redo: C+

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: A-

WOW I totally shortchanged this last time. It’s a great show and I said a C-? What was I on?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon at:

Smackdown
Date: March 29, 2013
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is the last real Smackdown we’ll have before we go on to Wrestlemania. Next week’s show is likely going to be the Wrestlemania Axxess show which is a glorified commercial for the PPV. Therefore tonight we’re likely to hear more about the PPV and not much else. There’s also a weightlifting contest between Henry and Ryback. Let’s get to it.

After the opening preview, we open with The Rock. Well that’s a good way to kick things off. During Rock’s entrance we see the physical part of the showdown with Cena on Raw. Bret not moving at all during the Rock Bottom is amusing. Rock holds up a Hershey bar before saying it’s time for another Storytime with the Rock. He talks about moving with his family to about an hour away from her in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania when he was fifteen.

We get a picture of Rock at age fifteen in white shorts and “looking like a white bouncer for Menudo.” Rock talks about coming to Hershey Park here in Pennsylvania with his friends and eating a ton of chocolate. Now as an adult, FINALLY he has come back to Hershey. Rock talks about going around looking for a Whatchamacallit (it’s a Hershey product) but after going to seven stores he FINALLY found one. As he was reaching for it though, someone stole it. However, that person was the inspiration for Rock’s Candy catchphrase. Apparently it was an old lady but who cares?

The point of the story is that you might go to great lengths to get what you want, including beating John Cena at Wrestlemania. On Monday Cena got in his face and got beaten up for it, but Cena is going to be back at Wrestlemania. Rock talks about doing this in front of the millions and millions but is interrupted by…..Johnny freaking Ace. After a break Rock wants to know who Ace is. In case you don’t remember, he’s John Laurinitis, as in the former Vice President of Talent Relations and GM of both Raw and Smackdown.

Rock isn’t impressed but Ace says he isn’t going to talk too long and wind up getting a Rock Bottom. Ace says that he and Rock are a lot alike because Rock is People’s Champion and Ace created People Power. Apparently Cena was the reason that Ace was fired but is also the reason he’s back. Johnny offers to be in Rock’s corner at Wrestlemania because it’s a guaranteed win. Ace rips off the “and the Rock says” catchphrase before saying he and Rock are like the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

Rock thinks we should ask the people if they want the stale peanut butter to team up with the most electrifying piece of chocolate the world has ever seen. Instead of a Rock Bottom, Rock offers to team up to send a message to Cena. The first part is a handshake and I think you can figure it out from here. There’s the Rock Bottom (JBL: “What does Rock have against peanut butter?”) and the People’s Elbow for good measure before Rock says Cena goes down again at Wrestlemania. Classic Rock here.

Chris Jericho vs. Wade Barrett

Non-title here and Miz is on commentary. Barrett takes him down to start but Jericho clotheslines him out to the floor to get himself a breather. A baseball slide puts Barrett down and we head back inside with the champion taking over again. Barrett kicks Jericho off the apron and we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting some shoulder blocks and a top rope fist to the face.

The Lionsault has to be aborted with Jericho landing on his feet, allowing Wade to come back with the Winds of Change. Jericho comes back with a cross body for two but has to escape Wasteland. Barrett punches his way out of the Walls but misses a charge and falls to the floor. Jericho’s springboard cross body misses and Barrett throws him back in, but the champion stops to argue with Miz. Back in and the distraction allows Jericho to hit the Codebreaker for the win at 4:43 shown of 7:43.

Rating: C. It was nice while it lasted and I can live with the idea of Barrett losing here for the sake of advancing his feud with Miz. The problem here is that Barrett hasn’t won a match in weeks that I remember, which is a bad sign for a champion going into Wrestlemania. Nothing of note here but they were setting up a chess match for awhile there.

Post match Jericho says that he’s happy about winning the match but since he can see Fandango’s entrance, apparently something is about to happen. Jericho does the bit where he can’t remember Fandango’s name and here’s the dancer himself. Chris holds the ropes open for him but Fandango backs off.

We get the same preview for HHH vs. Lesnar from Raw to eat up a few minutes.

Earlier today Josh Matthews sat down with Heyman to talk about the potential end of HHH’s career. After Brock ends HHH’s in ring career, it means the end of HHH’s office career because not being able to get in the ring when he wants to will cripple HHH. Then the locker room will crumble with no leadership, and it’s all because HHH loses to Brock at Wrestlemania.

Here are Booker T and Teddy Long to introduce the Bench Press Challenge. Booker introduces Ryback but Teddy cuts him off and introduces Henry himself. If there’s physical contact between these two they’re both banned from Wrestlemania. Henry won a coin toss and gets to go first. He does 53 reps which is allegedly a new world record. Ryback does 53 and goes for 54 but Henry chokes him ala Barbarian and the Road Warriors from back in the 80s. Ryback has the bar shoved onto his throat and can barely breathe.

Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee vs. Kaitlyn/Daniel Bryan

The guys start things off here and they fight over arm control to get us going. Off to the girls with AJ hitting some rolling neckbreakers for two. Kaitlyn runs her over though and it’s back to the guys. Bryan tries a top rope rana but Ziggler rolls through into a sunset flip for two. Langston interferes but Kane takes him out as the girls come in. AJ jumps on Bryan’s back on the floor as JBL tries to keep track of AJ’s love life. AJ goes back in and walks into the spear by Kaitlyn for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean anything but there’s nothing wrong with taking two feuds and throwing them together into a single match. Kaitlyn does nothing for the title so having her lose soon wouldn’t be a problem at all. Nothing to see here due to the time but it’s nice to see them taking out two birds with one stone.

Shield talks about the big moment coming up on the grandest stage of them all. Ambrose thinks a viper, a giant and a Celtic warrior don’t mix and that they’re going to implode. That is if Shield doesn’t destroy them first. Believe in the Shield.

Great Khali vs. Jack Swagger

On their way to the ring, Colter and Swagger talk about breaking Ricardo’s ankle to strengthen America. Swagger pounds away in the corner to start but gets chopped in the head to put him back down. Khali hits the overhand chop in the corner but Swagger comes back with some knees to the ribs.

The giant comes back with clotheslines but Jack bails to the floor to avoid the big overhead chop. Khali goes after him but gets his own leg wrapped around the post, giving Swagger an opening. They head to the floor again with Swagger putting on the Patriot Lock long enough for the double countout at 2:58. This was short and did no favors for Swagger whatsoever.

Colter and Swagger go after Hornswoggle but here’s Ricardo for a distraction. Alberto runs in but Colter stops the armbreaker. Del Rio swings Ricardo’s crutch at Swagger but Jack bails to the floor.

We recap Punk vs. Undertaker from Raw.

The new backstage chick Renee Young is with Orton, Sheamus and Big Show and we see a video of the three of them on Raw teaming up to fight Shield. They say they’ve put their differences aside to fight Shield but Sheamus and Big Show almost fight over who put their differences aside first.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is inducting Bruno Sammartino into the Hall of Fame.

Sheamus/Big Show/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars/Antonio Cesaro

Sandow talks about his opponents having nothing in common and how the Scholars have a disdain for ignorance. Cesaro yodels a bit. JBL: “Every time he yodels Daniel Bryan comes running out of the locker room.” Orton and Cesaro get things going and it’s Randy taking over with some elbows and shoulders. Off to Sheamus to pound away on Cesaro in the corner before cranking on the arm a bit.

Off to Big Show which sends Cesaro running off to Cody. Show offers Rhodes a free shot before chopping the skin off Rhodes’ chest in the corner. Sandow runs away from Big Show as we take a break. Back with Sheamus holding Sandow by the beard so Orton can come in and pummel Damien in the corner. Sandow finally shoves Orton into the heel corner for some triple teaming.

Cesaro comes back in for his gutwrench suplex for two. Cody cranks on the arm for a bit before Sandow hooks the Russian legsweep and drops the Wind-Up Elbow for two. A chinlock is quickly broken by Randy and there’s the over the back backbreaker to give Orton a breather. Cesaro tries to interfere but Big Show makes the save, allowing for the double tag to Sheamus and Rhodes. There are the ten forearms to Cody’s chest and ten for Sandow as well. Cody tries to jump Sheamus and is caught in White Noise. The WMD takes out Cesaro and it’s an RKO for Sandow. Brogue Kick ends Cody at 8:14 shown of 11:14.

Rating: B-. Now THIS is what you do to test Orton/Sheamus/Big Show. It doesn’t prove anything to have them beat up guys like 3MB, and while these three weren’t much better, they at least gave the super best friends a challenge. Not a good match or anything but it was the basic tag formula and that’s going to work all the time.

Shield’s music hits but this time Orton/Sheamus/Big Show go after them. Why has no one thought to do that before? Shield gets beaten up in a box of some kind to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best show in the world but as mentioned, what else are they supposed to do with Wrestlemania this close? The best thing they need to do is push the World Championship match, as that has fizzled terribly, going from one of the more interesting matches on the card to nothing at all. Rock was fun as expected, but at the end of the day Wrestlemania isn’t coming in all that well.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Wade Barrett – Codebreaker

Daniel Bryan/Kaitlyn b. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee – Spear to Lee

Jack Swagger vs. Great Khali went to a double countout

Big Show/Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars/Antonio Cesaro – Brogue Kick to Rhodes

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania XVI
Date: April 2, 2000
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,034
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

This is also called Wrestlemania 2000 but the purist in me won’t let that happen. This is a step up over last year’s one match show as this year we have a two match show. The main event is a fatal fourway elimination match between HHH, the Rock, Big Show and the one night only returning Mick Foley. The other match is Angle vs. Benoit vs. Jericho in a two fall double title match. You might notice a few multi-man matches there and you’re going to notice a lot of them tonight. There isn’t a single one on one match on the entire card tonight, which might be the only time ever in company history. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings the national anthem. I’ve heard her do this live and my goodness can she sing the heck out of that song.

We open with a recap of the previous 15 Wrestlemanias which sounds like it’s narrated by a James Earl Jones impersonator.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

HHH and Stephanie talk about how awesome their titles are. She’s Women’s Champion if that wasn’t really clear.

We see a conference with the Hardcore Battle Royal participants. Basically it’s a huge free for all and not a traditional battle royal. There’s a fifteen minute time limit and there can be as many title changes as there needs to be. Basically whoever is the last man standing is champion and the 24/7 rule stops after the last fall.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Battle Royal

Tazz, Crash Holly, Hardcore Holly, Viscera, Joey Abs, Rodney, Pete Gas, Taka Michinoku, Funaki, Thrasher, Mosh, Faarooq, Bradshaw

Crash is defending coming in. He comes in last and we’re ready to go. Remember there’s a fifteen minute time limit. Everyone else fights to the floor and Taz hits a fast suplex on Crash for the pin ad the title in thirty seconds. So now, only Taz can be pinned for the title. A few seconds later, Viscera hits Tazz with a board and gets the title. Now we move into an extended period of hitting people in the head with whatever objects are handy.

We’ve got thirteen and a half minutes or so to go. Someone uses a box fan on someone else and that’s about the most in depth coverage you’ll be getting here. Everyone jumps Viscera and hits him with whatever they can find. Crash appears to be busted open. The Acolytes double team the champion and the beatings continue on everyone for a bit. Hardcore and Mosh beat Viscera down and get two each.

We’re under ten minutes now and it’s fine extinguisher time. There’s so much stuff going on it’s impossible to call. Viscera heads back into the ring and goes up top (for those of you unfamiliar, Viscera is about Big Show’s size), only to be slammed down by the Acolytes. The APA (Acolyte Protection Agency, same team) breaks a board over his back and Bradshaw hits a top rope shoulder to put him down. For no apparent reason they throw Kai En Tai on top of Viscera, giving Funaki the belt.

Funaki, apparently the smartest guy in the match, grabs the belt and runs away. Everyone catches up to him in the back with 7:00 left. Rodney gets a fluke pin out of nowhere for the pin, which I believe is the Posse’s first pinfall. Joey suplexes him down and wins the title but Thrasher gets a clothesline and the title. Everyone beats up Thrasher now because its their job and we come into the arena again. Pete Gas hits Thrasher with a fire extinguisher and wins the title.

Taz gets his hands on the champion and brings him back to ringside for a beating. A t-bone suplex puts the bloody Pete down for the pin and the title with….dang it they took the clock down. Hardcore sends Taz into the steps for two before Mosh takes a shot at him. Taz rolls up Mosh for two on instinct alone. Now it’s the Hollys and Taz in the ring and three minutes to go. Crash gets cracked in the head by Taz for two which again means nothing. Hardcore puts Taz down and the cousins fight over a cover. Two minutes left and both Hollies get two off a powerslam by Hardcore.

We’ve got a minute left as Hardcore hits the dropkick for two. The champion hits a suplex on Hardcore to send him outside as Crash hits Taz with a trashcan lid for the title. The Tazmission goes on Crash but Hardcore blasts Taz in the head with a candy jar and covers Crash. The ending is screwed up though as Hardcore was supposed to get two but be stopped by the time.

Instead the referee had to stop counting…but Hardcore wins anyway. It made no sense, but either way the important thing here is Taz actually. That jar was made of real glass and when it shattered, some of it got in Taz’s eye. Allegedly he was supposed to win the Intercontinental Title but the reign went to Benoit instead.

Rating: B-. What do you want me to say about this? It was exactly what it was supposed to be so I can’t complain about it in that regard. They beat the tar out of each other with some funny spots and it was contained in one match instead of a big goofy show long angle like we had two years later. This rating could be all over the place depending on your taste for this stuff.

We look at Axxess over the weekend. Interestingly enough Undertaker is there in the biker attire.

Al Snow talks to someone in a bathroom stall when Steve Blackman comes in and says don’t do something stupid. This is during the Head Cheese (Snow and Blackman) attempt at finding Blackman a personality.

Trish is ready in the back.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Post match Head Cheese beats up Chester. You know, because they’re good guys!

We get a “comedy” bit based off Austin Powers with Kat lacking clothes and Mae Young accidentally covering up the good parts.

The Dudleys say they’re afraid of heights but they’re ready for the triangle ladder match. This is when Bubba still had a stutter.

Tag Titles: Edge and Christian vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleyz are defending and this is a triangle ladder match rather than a TLC match. That would come in September. This is when Edge and Christian still came through the crowd and somehow hadn’t won the tag titles yet. As the Dudleys pose in the aisle on a ladder during their entrance, the Canadians jump the only actual brothers in the match. This is going to be one of those matches that is almost impossible to keep track of. Bubba chops away at Jeff in the ring but gets caught by Whisper in the Wind. A Bubba Bomb puts Jeff right back down and they all head to the floor.

Christian sets up a ladder in the ring but Matt makes a save. Everyone gets back inside and there’s a second ladder. Matt throws one into the corner at Bubba for a sick thud right before D-Von is slammed onto a ladder and hit by a middle rope elbow. Jeff puts Bubba on the ladder but misses a 450, giving us a SICK looking crash. Bubba puts the ladder on top of Jeff and actually hits the middle rope backsplash to crush both of them. Edge rides a ladder out of the corner to crush another ladder onto Matt.

D-Von takes Edge down and all six guys are on the mat or floor now. Bubba is up first and we get the put the ladder around your own neck and spin around in a circle move. Edge and Christian finally dropkick the ladder into Bubba to put him down and there’s a double flapjack into the ladder in the corner on D-Von. Christian climbs a ladder and dives onto Matt and Bubba on the floor. This is all happening with almost no breaks in between. Jeff climbs the ladder in the ring but Edge jumps off the top with a spear. That would be topped by about 1000 next year.

Matt hits a crucifix bomb on Edge before trying to climb, only to be slammed down by D-Von. D-Von goes up, only to have Christian throw the ladder at him to bring him down. There are now three ladders set up in the middle of the ring and it’s Bubba with a Cutter to Christian off two of them. Awesome looking move there. With Bubba down, the Hardys hit a splash/legdrop combination off the top of the ladders. D-Von tries to climb but the Canadians suplex him off the ladder.

Everyone but the Dudleyz climb up but they all come flying down due to a facebuster and a Russian legsweep in another spot that would be topped next year. The Dudleys are back in now and the fans want tables. Now all six guys climb three ladders and as you can guess, they all go flying down. Christian and Jeff get the worst of it, crashing out to the floor. Bubba lands on his feet and shoves the other two ladders over, leaving him alone in the ring. D-Von is back up too but here’s Christian back to his feet, only to get crushed between two ladders.

Edge comes back in and gets caught in the original 3D, with Bubba running for the cutter instead of just standing there. Bubba loads up a table as is his custom and D-Von gets one of his own. There are two ladders set up in the ring and the Dudleys are all alone, but instead of climbing they make a scaffold out of a table between the tops of the ladders. The Hardys get back up to make the save but are easily dispatched. Again the Dudleys screw up though by setting up another table under the scaffold and a third on the floor.

Bubba powerbombs Matt through the one on the floor but D-Von misses a splash through Jeff on one of the tables back in the ring. Jeff tries to run the rail but Bubba pelts him in the face with a ladder. Bubba loads up the super ladder in the aisle before setting up a table in front of it. I can smell wrestling law #1 from here. Jeff comes back and takes Bubba out before putting him on the ladder. In the famous spot from this match, Jeff climbs to the top of the super ladder and hits the Swanton through Bubba through the table to put both of them out.

Back in the ring D-Von suplexes Christian down and goes for a climb but here’s Matt to break it up. The Twist of Fate takes D-Von down and now it’s Matt and Christian climbing the ladders. They both wind up on the scaffolding that was set up earlier but here’s Edge from behind. The brothers throw Matt through the table, allowing Edge and Christian to pull down the belts for their first titles.

Rating: A-. There are two problems with this match. First of all, the match the next year blows it away. Second, and far worse, the last ten minutes were spent setting up spots instead of actually going for the belts. Take the big spot of the match for example. Why in the world would Bubba do that instead of for the sake of doing that spot later? Same with all the other tables set up. There was no logic to doing that, but they did the spots anyway. Still though, excellently fun match.

Mick Foley and Linda McMahon say the main event tonight is the biggest match of all time and thanks to Linda, Mick gets to be in the main event at Wrestlemania. He says fairy tales can come true, one will come true for him.

Terri Runnels vs. The Kat

It’s a Catfight, meaning you have to put your opponent on the floor to win. Val Venis is referee and Moolah and Mae are in the respective corners. The referee compares a certain part of himself to Wrestlemania in a promo that would get him chased off by a pitchfork carrying mob in today’s world. Venis is in a referee’s towel too. Early on he picks up Terri and gets kissed in a spot that would have made the Montreal Screwjob completely different.

Kat hits a lame spear but Val has to stop Mae from flashing everyone. Terri is sent to the floor but there’s no referee. The old chicks get in the ring and Mae kisses Val. Kat throws Terri to the floor but Moolah pulls Kat to the outside. Terri is the only one in as Val escapes Mae, giving Terri the win. Total mess but it was a bridge between the big match and the rest of the show.

Terri is stripped post match.

The Radicalz are ready for the six man tag but Eddie is more interested in melting Chyna with the Latino Heat.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The redneckiest rednecks of all time won a contest to go to Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane say Show will win.

We get a clip from earlier of Angle beating up his mentor Bob Backlund after finding out that Backlund came up with the idea of Kurt defending both titles.

Angle asks a security guard for extra security for the post match celebration.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Vince says he’ll be a factor in the main event. He’s in Rock’s corner tonight and doesn’t think his family is dysfunctional. Vince promises to make it right tonight. You can smell the screwjob coming from here.

HHH doesn’t like what Vince just said and promises not to lose.

D-Generation X vs. Rikishi/Kane

This would be Road Dogg and X-Pac with Tori as the final surviving members of the team. Kane has the wicked awesome inverted colors on tonight with mainly black trimmed with red. Tori slaps Paul Bearer before the match but gets choked by Kane for his efforts. It’s a brawl to start with Rikishi hitting a quick Stinkface on Road Dogg. The fat man turns his attention to Tori but Pac makes a last minute save. D-X tries to leave to no avail as the big men slowly chase them down.

We finally get started with Pac vs. Rikishi and the smaller man hitting a spinning kick in the corner but no Bronco Buster follows. Off to Roadie for the dancing punches and a forearm to put Rikishi down. The shaky knee gets two and it’s back to Pac for some kicks to the chest which have no effect. A Samoan Drop puts Pac down and there’s the tag to Kane. Kane gets to beat up X-Pac which is the whole point of the match. X-Pac avoids the Stinkface but Bearer throws Tori in to take his place. Kane tombstones Pac to end this.

Rating: D. This was another way to bridge between the two matches while also giving us a nice closure to this feud. Rikishi was a popular guy at the time so giving him a big match on a show like this was the right idea. Tori screwed over Kane months before so seeing her get what was coming to her was a nice feeling. The match sucked though.

Post match Too Cool and the San Diego Chicken come out to celebrate but Kane doesn’t trust the bird. Everyone dances as Kane stares at the chicken. Either Pete is a far better dancer than expected or there’s something afoot. Kane stares down at the bird but here’s Pete Rose with a ball bat. This goes as badly as the other years have gone and it’s a chokeslam and a Stinkface for the Hit King. I’ll give the guy this: he’s willing to do almost whatever the WWF asked of him.

Rock says it’s been twelve months since he was world champion and there have been a lot of bad moments for Rock since then. After ever chokeslam, every Mandible Claw and every Pedigree, he’s back here at Wrestlemania for his world title. If Rock has an ounce of blood and sweat, he’s going to layeth the Smacketh Down tonight for the millions and millions.

Various celebrities are here tonight, including Michael Clarke Duncan and Martin Short.

Here’s a recap of the main event which the company doesn’t think is important enough to explain to you. HHH is defending champion and retired Foley at No Way Out. Rock won the Rumble but Big Show presented HHH with a video showing that Rock’s feet hit first. This got Big Show a match at No Way Out for the #1 contendership where he beat Rock. Rock then earned the shot back by beating Big Show on Raw. Linda McMahon brought Foley back for one night only and if he wins tonight, there’s a tournament leading up to the title match at Backlash.

The real story here is that there’s a McMahon in every corner: Vince with Rock because Vince respect him, Stephanie with her husband HHH, Linda with the feel good story of Foley and Shane with Big Show because he sees Show as his ticket to the top of the company. In other words, the wrestlers are just there as the McMahons are the real show here.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. HHH vs. Big Show

There are no tags here, no disqualification and you have to win by pin. Why there are no submissions is beyond me but whatever. Rock and Big Show fight as do the other two with the champion being punched down. Allegedly Foley was told a week before this match that he would be participating so he isn’t in the best of shape. Granted that’s normal for him so maybe it won’t be that big of a deal.

Big Show runs over everyone and gorilla presses HHH and Rock. Foley gets a headbutt but tries to jump on Show’s back, only to have the giant crush him against the mat. Rock comes back with right hands on Big Show but walks into a side slam for no cover. HHH jumps into a chokeslam attempt but Foley breaks it up with a low blow. Everyone triple teams Big Show to a big reaction and a running clothesline from Rock puts him down. They all stomp away at the giant but HHH and Foley just can’t work together that long.

Foley blasts HHH in the ribs with a chair and hits Show in the back with it as well, allowing the Rock Bottom to get rid of the biggest guy in the match. We’re down to three now and Shane is ticked off. HHH offers Foley an alliance against Rock but Foley says no. Instead HHH offers Rock an alliance against Foley but we get a Rock and Sock Connection reunion as HHH gets beaten down. HHH gets punched down and dropped with a double clothesline.

The champion is sent to the floor but the Connection won’t fight each other. Instead they head to the outside and beat up HHH even more to the fans’ delight. Rock picks up the bell but accidentally blasts Foley in the head. Foley gets up quickly and finds a barbed wire 2×4. HHH saves himself with a low blow and a shot to Foley’s ribs with the board. Rock comes back in and is backdropped to the floor, allowing Foley to hit the double arm DDT on HHH. It’s Socko time and Rock adds a belt shot to take HHH down.

Rock loads up the Elbow but Foley puts the Claw on him to break it up. HHH hits them both low to put them both down but Rock gets back up first and pounds away on the champion. Foley gets in a shot to Rock for two and a double arm DDT gets the same. Vince slides in a chair for no apparent reason but Foley gets it first. It gets kicked back into his face by Rock for two as HHH makes the save. Why would he do something like that? A running knee lift gets two on Rock but HHH doesn’t save this time. Interesting.

HHH and Mick start working together for a bit and a knee drop gets two on Rock. They head to the floor with Mick’s knees being sent HARD into the steps. Mick picks up said steps and cracks Rock in the head with them as Stephanie yells at Linda. HHH puts Rock on the table for the Foley elbow through it….but Mick can’t jump that far and crashes ribs first into the edge of the table. HHH hits about three elbows of his own to put Rock through the table as the match continues to drag.

Back inside and HHH Pedigrees Foley for two and a big eruption from the crowd. A BIG chair shot to the head puts Foley down and Linda is panicking. HHH Pedigrees Mick onto the chair and the career is over again. We’re down to two now and HHH is somehow even more hated than he was before. Foley gets a big standing ovation but turns around to come back to the ring. He picks up the barbed wire and blasts HHH in the head to give us one last BANG BANG moment.

We’re finally down to HHH vs. Rock after twenty minutes of glorified preliminary stuff. Rock gets two off the barbed wire stuff and they head up to the stage for the required main event brawling. Rock suplexes HHH down on the concrete and does the same with a clothesline. They head into the crowd for even more “fighting” which means walking with the occasional punching. A backdrop puts HHH back at ringside where Rock picks up the steps, only to have HHH knock them onto Rock with a chair. He pounds on the steps with the chair to crush Rock even further underneath them.

A piledriver on the steps keeps Rock down even longer before we head inside again. The piledriver only gets two and Rock is somehow up again to slug away with right hands. Rock Bottom and Pedigree are both countered with HHH being backdropped out to the floor. Rock hits a kind of spinebuster to put HHH down and there’s a suplex through the table for good measure. Both guys are basically dead now but it’s Rock up first.

Vince can’t handle the lack of the spotlight anymore though and rams HHH into the post. Cue Shane again to take out Vince with a monitor shot to the head but Papa gets up a few seconds later to beat up his son. Shane comes back with a chairshot as we’re ignoring THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA to see Shane and Vince fight. As a bleeding Vince is taken out, we cut to a shot of Stephanie with the most vapid look you’ll ever see on her face.

We’re allowed to return to the match now with right hands from Rocky. A DDT gets two on the champion as does a tilt-a-whirl slam. HHH comes back with a facebuster and a barbed wire shot to the head of Rock. At least he’s nice enough to loudly ask “ARE YOU OK” before being catapulted into Shane. There’s the Rock Bottom but Rock can’t cover. Instead here’s Vince for the 87^th time tonight to slap Shane around. Then, as if you would expect anything else, he turns on Rock with a chair shot. Stephanie still fails at acting as HHH chairs Rock down again for the pin to retain and kill the crowd even deader.

Rating: D+. And that’s being VERY generous. This was the definition of McMahon overkill as it was ALL about them with the match literally being ignored at times while they had their repeated drama. On top of that the match sucked with the first 20 minutes being there to get us to the last 20 minutes which doesn’t do anyone any good. The rest of the match was just a big mess with no real story to it as we were all at the mercy of the McMahons. Instead of focusing on HHH vs. Rock, we had to wait 40 minutes for Vince to turn on Rock for no apparent reason. Also Rock would win the title at Backlash, making this entirely pointless.

Post match Vince and Stephanie reunite in the ring. Shane gets back in but before we can get more of McMahon World, Rock comes in with Rock Bottoms for all three McMahons. You might notice that HHH, the FREAKING WORLD CHAMPION, is nowhere in sight for all this. Oh wait he pops up on the apron to get punched down before Rock hits the People’s Elbow on Stephanie (who doesn’t even move an inch when it hits). The last shot of the show: the McMahons recovering of course.

Overall Rating: D. This show is the low point of the best year in the company’s history and it’s because of the McMahon drama. Again, there is zero reason to have them dominate a main event like this other than that’s what they wanted to happen. The stuff that was good though, while limited, was VERY good with the midcard title match and the tag title match blowing away everything else going on with this show. That main event is a BIG blow to it though given how long the thing ran. Check out those two matches and then go pick up the N64 game instead of the show as it’s WAY more entertaining.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan vs. D’Lo Brown/Godfather

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hardcore Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: B-

T&A vs. Head Cheese

Original: F

Redo: D-

Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz

Original: B+

Redo: A-

The Kat vs. Terri Runnels

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A

Redo: B+

Rikishi/Kane vs. D-Generation X

Original: D+

Redo: D

HHH vs. The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Mick Foley

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Not much changes in a few years.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/23/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-16-they-thought-this-was-a-good-idea/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestlemania XV
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is a somewhat forgotten show and it’s pretty easy to see why: there isn’t much on here worth seeing. We’re full into Russo era now which means things are going to go REALLY fast but they’ll be changing so rapidly that there’s almost no lasting impact. The main event here is Austin facing Rock to get back the WWF Title that was unfairly stolen from him in the fall. That’s also pretty much the only match anyone remembers from the show. Let’s get to it.

Boyz II Men sing America the Beautiful. To say this is better than last year’s metal version of it is the understatement of the year.

The opening video is about stars of today becoming legends and how tonight is their night. The show is called the Showcase of the Immortals, which it is still called to this day.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

So for months leading up to this show, Billy Gunn had been chasing the IC Title and Road Dogg had been chasing the Hardcore Title. Before either of them got the big win, Russo thought it was a good idea to switch those things up and give them the opposite title than they were looking for. You know, because THAT MAKES SENSE. Gunn is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Billy tries to do his intro but Snow jumps him from behind. Holly jumps both of them and clotheslines Gunn inside out. Snow and Holly, the only people who actually have business in this match, go to the floor to annoy the Spanish broadcasters. Gunn follows them and is whipped knees first into the steps. That looked painful. Snow and Bob fight up the aisle with Holly hitting a suplex onto the concrete. Billy comes back and sends Snow into the steps but Al breaks up a piledriver attempt on Bob.

Snow finds a hockey stick from under the ring for no apparent reason and starts beating up both guys. The fans cheer for the Flyers as Billy uses a Gatorade bucket for good measure. Billy gets the stick and breaks it over his challengers’ backs before going back inside. Snow comes in with a broom to pound away on both guys and take over. Gunn brings in a chair but gets beaten down by a piece of the broom. Al uses the chair to load up some Poetry in Motion in the corner but he can only hit Gunn.

Holly sends Billy to the floor but gets dropped onto the barricade for his efforts. Snow hits them both with Head but pulls out a table instead of going for a cover. The table is set up in the corner but Holly clotheslines his way to safety. Billy comes back with a shot to Bob’s head and throws Snow through the table. The Fameasser onto a chair knocks Snow sane but Holly hits Gunn in the back with a chair and steals the pin on Snow for the title.

Rating: C-. This was fine but again, what sounds better: Road Dogg against two other hardcore experts or Billy Gunn who has had about two weeks in the division? The match here was nothing of note though as it was just the three of them hitting each other with the same spots we’ve seen a hundred times before. Nothing to see here for the mots part but it was a good enough opener.

Test and D’Lo Brown were the final two people in a battle royal on the Heat before the PPV, meaning they get a tag title shot. Seriously, that’s how weak the division is at this point.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

Test and D’Lo fight on the floor which has no one caring at all.

We recap Butterbean vs. Bart Gun in a Brawl For All fight. Oh where do I even begin? So Bart Gunn shocked all of eight people (as in the amount of people that cared) by winning the shoot fight Brawl For All tournament back in the summer. This led to a REAL fight against a REAL world boxing champion here. You know, EIGHT MONTHS after he won the tournament.

Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean

The guest referee is Vinnie Pazienza, former world Middleweight Champion. The judges are boxing trainer Kevin Rooney, Chuck Wepner and Gorilla Monsoon, who would be dead soon after this. He looks AWFUL here as he’s lost about 200lbs due to illness. This would be his final public appearance. Bart is introduced as being from western Kentucky. That’s probably accurate as there aren’t many large towns over there so pinning it down to one single town is hardly an option.

I’d explain the rules and scoring here, but Butterbean DESTROYS Bart and knocks him down twice in 35 seconds. The second is as brutal of a punch as you’ll ever see. For the life of me I have NO IDEA what they were thinking here. I could watch Bart Gunn get knocked out like that for hours.

The San Diego Chicken is here in Philadelphia here for no apparent reason so Pazienza beats him up.

We recap Big Show beating up Mankind on Heat. They’re fighting tonight to get to referee the main event. Austin could be seen watching this in the back for some reason.

Mankind says that he’s done everything asked of him to be in the main event of Wrestlemania, but they keep throwing more stuff at him. If he has to beat Big Show, that’s what he has to do.

Big Show vs. Mankind

The winner gets to referee the title match tonight. Big Show already cost Mankind the world title on Raw a few weeks ago and Mankind is banged up coming into this. Mankind pounds away to start but is easily sent out to the floor by the power of the giant. Mankind is all cool with a brawl though and he sends Big Show head first into the steps. A DDT is broken up by Show though and the guy in a mask tastes the steps as well.

Back in and Show chops him down before hitting a Russian legsweep for no cover. Mankind gets in a shot and loads up the Claw, only to be sent flying for a second. The Claw goes on but Show headbutts him down with ease. Back to the Claw and a low blow is enough to keep the hold on for a bit.

Despite being in a former world champion’s hold for about a minute straight, Show gets Mankind on his back and crashes down onto Foley to break the hold. Foley’s ribs are messed up bad now and Show stomps away even more. They head to the floor and Show hits him in the ribs with a chair….and that’s not a DQ. Show throws two chairs into the ring and sets them up. He chokeslams Mankind through both chairs and THAT is enough for the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah this sucked. This would fall into the category of matches that were overbooked to overbook another match. If that doesn’t sum up the Russo Era in a nutshell, I’m not sure what does. The match sucked on top of all that, as it was a very slow power brawl. Foley would take awhile to get back into form but at this point he was just kind of going through the motions.

Post match Vince comes out to yell at Big Show but has to talk his way out of a chokeslam. That’s the least of his problems though as Big Show knocks Vince out cold with a right hand. The Stooges carry Vince to the back as Foley is taken out on a stretcher.

In the back, Vince wants the cops called.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Dogg is defending and this under elimination rules. Goldust has Ken’s sister Ryan as well as Blue Meanie with him. A rana sends Goldust to the floor in the opening melee until we get down to Shamrock vs. Dogg as there are tags in this. Dogg gets in some right hands and a dropkick to Shamrock before bringing in Goldie to pound away on Ken. Venis replaces Shamrock and escapes the Curtain Call.

A spinebuster gets two on Goldust but he comes back with a clothesline to take Val down for two. Goldust loads up a superplex but slips off the rope, allowing Val to bulldog him down for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Val but after they collide in the corner, Val’s face meets Goldie’s crotch. Shamrock comes in to DDT Goldust but Dogg DDTs Venis at the same time, putting both guys out.

Goldust covers Venis for two and Shamrock is furious at the kickout. Did I mention Val slept with Ken’s sister of whom Ken is VERY protective? Dogg comes in illegally and pounds away on Val before doing the same on Dogg. The shaky kneedrop hits Shamrock for good measure but Val suplexes the champion down for two. Roadie comes back with the simulated anal rape pumphandle slam to Val before Shamrock puts Venis in the ankle lock.

Val somehow makes the rope and backdrops Shamrock to the floor. Venis goes out after him and it’s a lame double countout to get us down to two. Shamrock comes back in anyway and beats up everyone left in the match while screaming and dropping a lot of F Bombs. Ryan trips Goldust for no apparent reason whatsoever, allowing Roadie to roll him up for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Decent match until the ending fell flat. Here’s Russo’s booking in a nutshell: take Billy Gunn, as in the guy that started the whole mess with Ryan out and replace him with Road Dogg who only has the title in this whole mess. That leaves you with Ken as the jealous brother along with Val as guy who loved her and left her, and Goldust as the freak perverting Ryan’s mind.

Then you give us Goldust and Dogg to finish things, despite them having no history of problems at all, unlike Billy and any of the three, who had been fighting for months. See the REALLY big issue here? Goldust would win the title the next night, making this even stupider. You know, because you want to change the title on Raw, not AT WRESTLEMANIA or someplace worthless like that.

Big Show is arrested, another Russo trope.

We recap HHH vs. Kane. Chyna had turned on DX and joined the Corporation I believe late last year. A few weeks before this she was holding HHH for a fireball shot from Kane, only to take it herself. HHH standing up for the honor of his friend who isn’t his friend anymore because she turned on him. As an act of friendship, HHH painted himself gold and wore a flowery robe while imitating a crossdresser and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again.

HHH vs. Kane

Kane is in the Corporation against his will at this point. As Kane makes his entrance, here’s the San Diego Chicken from earlier to jump Kane. He’s quickly unbeaked and it’s Pete Rose again to continue the running joke from last year. At least he used to play in Philly so there’s a connection to the town. After that ends, HHH sneaks through the crowd and hits Kane low to start, which actually hurts him now as opposed to previous attempts at it.

HHH pounds away to start but Kane keeps shoving him away. Kane charges into a backdrop to the floor though and they fight on the floor for a bit. Kane accidentally clotheslines the post and is sent HARD into the steps. A baseball slide puts Kane into the barricade before they head back inside. Kane boots HHH down and throws him right back to the floor. HHH climbs the steps but gets grabbed by the throat and crotched on the barricade. The Mean Street Posse is here for no apparent reason.

Kane rams the future Game’s back into the post a few times before we head back in again. HHH gets slugged down in the corner and an uppercut keeps him down even longer. There’s a big leg for two and HHH is in trouble. He gets shoved out to the floor again and Kane DIVES over the top to take him out again, getting almost no reaction from the crowd at all. Back in and HHH breaks up the top rope clothesline with a beal off the top.

HHH slugs away and hits a Pedigree to stagger Kane. The jumping knee to the face puts Kane down and here’s Chyna. The tombstone and Pedigree are both escaped and Chyna slides in the steps. Both guys are down from something we didn’t see due to the camera being on Chyna but it’s Kane up first. He picks up the steps but Trips kicks them back into his face. Yes, he did something not involving his knees.

HHH hits a DDT onto the steps and clotheslines Kane to the floor. How has there not been a DQ yet? A Pedigree onto the steps is easily countered and we head inside where Kane hits the chokeslam. Instead of covering though, Kane lets Chyna come in with a chair. She hits Kane with it though, turning again and drawing a DQ in the process.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but HHH wasn’t quite ready to hang in a feud like this. He was on the rise, but it would take the street fight at the Rumble to make HHH into a guy that could hang in a fight like this and make it look believable. Chyna turning was a feel good moment but it would wind up being rather stupid in the end. The match wasn’t bad, but much like everything else tonight it’s forgettable.

HHH saves Chyna with some chair shots and a Pedigree on the chair.

Vince says he’ll referee the title match tonight. Again notice that all these angles are being used on the PPV that we already bought rather than to get people to buy the PPV that was already purchased.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

This is just after Sable turned heel. She’s defending against a psycho fan named Tori here who would wind up sleeping with X-Pac and Kane. Sable won’t let her get in so she dances a bit. Tori, wearing a Catwoman/Giant Gonzalez body suit, pulls the champion to the floor and sends her into the apron a few times, only to get kicked in the ribs by Sable. You can actually see people coming in and going out with food in hand during this match.

Sable dives off the apron to take Tori out before we head back inside. Tori comes back with some shots to the face and a bad looking sunset flip. They BADLY screw up a backslide which gets two on Sable before a bad looking cross body takes out the referee. Cue Nicole Bass who makes Chyna look like a 12 year old girl to slam Tori down. She tells Sable to pin her and the title is retained off a Sable Bomb.

Rating: F. Do I need to explain this one? I didn’t think so. Tori makes Aksana look like Trish and Lita combined if that tells you anything. They sloppiness in this match was cringe worthy and Sable continues to not be able to do anything of note in the ring other than shake her hips and take her clothes off. Nothing to see here at all.

We recap Shane vs. X-Pac. Basically Shane has no idea what to do in the ring but thanks to the Corporation he took the European Title in a tag match. This led to some humorous skits about how tough the streets of Greenwich, Connecticut were and how Shane is the kind of the streets. Shane challenged Pac to a Greenwich street fight on Raw, allowing the Mean Street Posse to help beat up X-Pac. Tonight is about revenge.

X-Pac says he’ll win because Chyna has come home.

European Title: Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac

Test is with the champion Shane here and the Stooges jump Pac in the aisle for good measure. Pac fights them off with ease and we’re ready to go. Shane imitates a bad car by stalling a lot and the chase is on. Back inside and Shane gets a nice leapfrog but gets kicked in the face to take him down. Pac loads up the Bronco Buster but Test makes the save before the Buster can hit. Shane heads up the ramp but can’t get away as the challenger brings him back to ringside. Test throws X-Pac into the post and Shane gets a breather in the ring.

McMahon pounds away on X-Pac in the corner and slams him down to set up a Corporate Elbow. Pac rolls away though, only to get caught by a low blow. Shane gets Test’s belt and whips Pac’s back as Cole talks about Shane getting disqualified. X-Pac sends him to the floor and there’s the big dive to take the champion out. The Posse tries to interfere but gets beaten down for their efforts. An elbow puts X-Pac down back in the ring and a middle rope variety keeps him down. Shane goes up top but takes too long, allowing the Greenwich grapefruits to get crotched.

There’s a superplex but Test breaks up the pin. X-Pac takes Test out and whips Shane with the belt for some revenge. Now the Bronco Buster hits but Test knocks Pac out with the title belt. That gets two for Shane but his own Bronco Buster misses. Test comes in for the 58^th time but gets hit with a Bronco Buster of his own. Cue HHH and Chyna…..who turn on X-Pac, joining the Corporation, THIRTY MINUTES AFTER THEY REUNITED IN DX. The Pedigree on X-Pac lets Shane keep the title.

Rating: D. In less than nine minutes, we had six people interfere, two different belts being used, a low blow, about five interferences by Test, and two people turning on X-Pac. This is all for a midcard title match with a guy that can’t wrestle getting to keep the title from the fan favorite. Ladies and gentlemen, VINCE FREAKING RUSSO!!! The match sucked for the most part but Pac did what he could.

The Outlaws come out for a save but get beaten down for good measure, because you fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Now cue KANE to chase off the Corporation, basically turning face in the process. There’s such a thing as WAY overthinking things and this is a good example of it.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man. Basically Undertaker has gone cuckoo and is trying to take over the company while impersonating Satan. This led to a cross being burned on Vince’s lawn and Stephanie’s teddy bear being burned. Taker beat up Vince but Boss Man made the save. This leads to Hell in a Cell tonight, because that recap clearly is enough for a Cell match right?

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Inside the Cell. In 1999. Just go with it. Boss Man DOESN’T EVEN GET AN ENTRANCE. WOW they’re not even trying to hide that this is going to be one sided are they? Boss Man pounds away in the corner and Taker does the same for good measure. A clothesline puts Boss Man down for two as the uninspired stuff continues. Boss Man gets the same for two but a boot to the chest is blocked by Undertaker. They head to the floor with Boss Man being slammed into the Cell. Cole: “This is such a dangerous match. YOU CAN GET A FINGER CAUGHT IN THERE!” Just go with it.

Anyway Boss Man comes back with more punches to the face and handcuffs him to the cage. On the floor, as in where you can’t get a win. Boss Man pounds away with the stick as the fans are REALLY not impressed. Undertaker falls down and the cuff is broken off the wall. Well that was rather pointless.

Taker is almost kind of maybe bleeding as he pulls out a chair. This is really boring so far. Boss Man goes face first into the wall as the fans are booing now. Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is broken up, sending the Dead Man out to the floor again. Back in and the Tombstone is countered, only for the second attempt to hit a few seconds later.

Rating: F. No. Where’s the real Cell match? You don’t go from Shawn vs. Taker to “He may he broken in half” to this. That doesn’t work and there’s no reason to assume it does work. This was a terribly boring match with the tiniest trickle of blood you can have while still officially having blood. Horrible match that would have been bad as a first hour match on Raw, let alone the next to last match on WRESTLEMANIA.

Post match the Brood lowers from the ceiling and breaks into the top of the Cell, lowering a noose into the ring. Boss Man is hung from the top of the cage in an unnecessary visual.

We recap Austin vs. the Corporation. Austin drove McMahon crazy for most of 1998 before Vince FINALLY got the title off of him in the fall. Rock won the vacant title by turning Corporate and becoming the Corporate Champion. Austin was screwed out of the Royal Rumble, but Shawn Michaels changed sides and gave Austin the title shot at Wrestlemania anyway.

Jim Ross comes out to call the main event. He’s returning from a bout with Bell’s palsy.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Vince is guest referee due to the issues earlier tonight. Oh wait here’s Shawn Michaels, the Commissioner, to say that Vince isn’t referee and that it’s going to be a normal referee. The Corporation is barred from ringside as well. Rock is defending if that wasn’t really clear. The place of course goes INSANE for Austin, who for some reason is in an Austin t-shirt instead of the trademark vest. It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Austin being knocked out to the floor and sent into the announce table. Apparently Vince does have the power to make this No DQ.

Back in for more punching by Rock but he gets backdropped up and over to the floor a second later. They brawl into the crowd where we can barely see them but it’s Philly so it has to be expected. Austin blasts the Rock in the back and they head back to ringside. Scratch that as they’re already going back into the crowd on the other side of the arena. Back to ringside again and Austin is choked with a cable for a bit.

Now they fight up the aisle with Austin hitting a fast clothesline. Austin loads up a piledriver on the concrete, only to be backdropped onto a light instead. Rock is thrown into some kind of equipment and they clothesline each other. Now it’s Rock being choked by a cable and then being thrown into the Wrestlemania XV sign, which wobbles in a scary sight. Rock suplexes Austin in the aisle and spits some water in his face at the announce table. Austin drops him face first onto the barricade before laying him on the announce table for an elbow drop which doesn’t break anything.

The second attempt at an elbow puts Rock through the table and we head back into the ring after about eight minutes of brawling. Wait Rock bails to the floor and wraps Austin’s bad knee around the post. They’re still not ready to stay in the ring as Austin sends Rock into the steps and stomps away a bit more. NOW we head back inside but Austin walks into the Rock Bottom for two. Rock brings in a chair but Austin takes it away and cracks the referee with it by mistake.

A Stunner is blocked and Rock elbows Austin down before laying him out with the chair. Another referee comes in for a two count off a chair shot to the head. Off to a chinlock for an understandably needed breather. Austin fights back up, only to be clotheslined right back down. Back to el chinlock but they fight up again, only for the referee to go down AGAIN. The Stunner hits but Earl Hebner runs down for a very close two. Here’s Vince again as Austin gets a fresh chair.

The distraction lets Rock hit Austin low to block a chair shot and Vince gets in as well. Vince drops Hebner and it’s a double team beatdown on Austin. Cue a hobbled Mick Foley to beat up Vince and count a fast two on Rock. The Thesz Press takes Rock down but Rock comes back with a clothesline and another Rock Bottom. Austin avoids the Elbow, fights out of another Rock Bottom, and Stuns his way to a third world title.

Rating: B-. This one really depends on your taste. They didn’t try to have a regular match here at all and maybe that was the right idea. It’s definitely the weakest of the Austin vs. Rock at Wrestlemania trilogy but Rock wasn’t ready to hang with Austin in a match like this year. The rematch at Backlash would be AWESOME to make up for this, but even this wasn’t bad. It’s very typical of the time, which doesn’t make it dull. This was definitely entertaining, but it’s certainly not for everyone.

Austin celebrates for a LONG time post match and stuns Vince for good measure to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Austin vs. Rock is definitely worth seeing, but the fact that I couldn’t think of a single match other than that one when I was getting ready to do this one says a lot. The show is completely forgettable because of how fast everything was moving out there. That doesn’t make it entertaining, but rather bad most of the time and one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever.

Ratings Comparison

Hardcore Holly vs. Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow

Original: D+

Redo: C-

D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

Original: F+

Redo: C-

Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn

Original: F

Redo: N/A

Mankind vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Val Venis

Original: D

Redo: C

Kane vs. HHH

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Tori vs. Sable

Original: F

Redo: F

X-Pac vs. Shane McMahon

Original: C+

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

Original: H (For holy goodness why was this a Cell match?)

Redo: F

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D

Individual ratings aside, it still sucks.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/22/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-15-this-is-the-best-they-can-do/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 22, 2013
Location: U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

With Wrestlemania coming up very soon we’ve got almost everything set, meaning that the next few weeks will be spent building up everything else that we’ve already established. The main event tonight is Swagger vs. Jericho in a rematch from last week where Swagger beat Jericho through the help of some shenanigans. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap is from Raw with Swagger breaking Ricardo’s ankle as well as Big Show joining Orton and Sheamus to face the Shield.

We open with MizTV with guests Sheamus and Randy Orton. Orton wants Big Show to replace Ryback in the six man tag at Wrestlemania but Sheamus isn’t sure. Neither guy trusts him, but sometimes you have to do something you aren’t sure of in order to survive. At Wrestlemania, Orton wants a ticked off giant on their side. Here’s Big Show to give us his take on this.

Miz talks about being Show’s partner back in the day and Big Show ending the team by knocking him out. Big Show: “I’ve dated women bigger than you so shut your lip.” Show talks about knocking out a member of the Shield and how they can work together to stop the Shield once and for all. Sheamus talks about his past with Big Show and a showdown is teased but Orton plays peacemaker. Miz: “REALLY? Randy Orton is the voice of reason of this group???” Before Show and Sheamus start arguing even more, here’s Booker T to interrupt. Tonight the three of them will be in a six man tag against opponents to be named.

Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder is shoved in the corner but comes back with a few right hands. Like an idiot though he tries a cross body and gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 52 seconds.

Ryder gets two more slams as Henry shouts at him about how many can he take. Ryback finally comes out for the big staredown as Ryder is carried out like a pancake. Henry charges but is taken down by the Meat Hook to send Henry into a state of confusion on the floor.

Teddy looks for Booker’s approval for teaming up with Vickie to make Henry vs. Ryback. Booker isn’t pleased because Teddy should have consulted with his boss, as in Booker. Teddy doesn’t like the idea that he works for Booker, because he works with him.

We get the Booker Hall of Fame video.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Well to be fair it’s been four whole days since we saw this match. AJ sits in on commentary. A quick neckbreaker puts Kofi down as JBL hits on AJ. Kofi comes back with his jumping clotheslines and the Boom Drop for no cover. Langston distracts Kingston from trying Trouble in Paradise though, allowing Dolph to hit a dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Kofi sliding through the ropes and kicking Dolph in the face. As Kingston goes up though, Ziggler crotches him down as AJ complains about being in a match with Dolph and her two exes. Kofi comes back with some right hands but another dropkick gets two. Ziggler hooks a chinlock for a bit but Kofi fights up and sends him shoulder first into the post. The middle rope cross body gets two for Kofi but a springboard splash hits knees, giving Ziggler a two count.

Trouble in Paradise misses and there’s the sleeper to Kingston. Kofi escapes again and gets two off the SOS as AJ sings Dolph’s praises. Dolph falls to the floor but Langston guards him from a suicide dive. Kofi dives on Big E. instead but the distraction lets Ziggler hit the Fameasser on the floor. AJ: “I’m going to have that man’s babies. And they’re going to have great hair and the abs of a Greek god.” Back inside the Zig Zag finishes Kofi at 6:31 shown of 10:01.

Rating: C. Not their best match here but it’s nice to see Ziggler get back on top even a little bit. Kofi will bounce back from this as he’s always lost a lot over his career. It’s rumored that he might be turning heel, which could be interesting given how serious he’s been in the past. The match here wasn’t great but these two are incapable of having an actual bad match against each other.

Langston hits the Big Ending on Kofi post match.

We recap Fandango and Jericho’s interaction from Raw.

We get the CM Punk promo about Undertaker from Raw.

Orton again has to tell Sheamus and Big Show to stop fighting.

We look at Ricardo having his ankle broken again.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho

After a break, Colter talks about Ricardo’s injury from Raw and how that should be a warning to anyone who disagrees with what they say. This would include Jericho who interrupts Swagger as he repeats his catchphrase. Feeling out process to start with Jericho knocking Swagger out to the floor. Colter calms down an angry Swagger but Jericho comes to the floor and rams Jack’s back into the barricade. Back in and Swagger takes out Chris’ leg to take over for the first time.

Jericho comes back with a kick to the chest for two but the Codebreaker is countered as Jericho is rammed into the corner. Swagger loads up a superplex, only to be shoved off the top and hit with a cross body for two. With Jack rolling to the floor, Jericho hits a sweet plancha to take Swagger out as we take a break.

Back with Swagger hitting a clothesline for two and pounding on the back for good measure. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the buckle but Swagger misses a charge, allowing Jericho to speed it up a little. A top rope fist to Swaggers face puts him down and Jericho pounds away in the corner as the fans chant his name. Jericho’s hurricanrana is countered into the Patriot Lock but Jericho sends Swagger out to the floor.

There’s the springboard dropkick to send Jack to the floor….and here’s Fandango with his full entrance. The distraction allows Swagger to hit a powerslam for two. A side roll gets the same for Jericho but when he can’t hook the Walls he instead catapults Swagger into the ropes. Jericho loads up the Lionsault but Fandango trips him up, allowing Swagger to hit the Vader Bomb for the pin at 9:04 shown of 12:34.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as good as last week’s and again I don’t like the idea of a guy who might be world champion in three weeks needing Fandango’s help to beat someone. This sets up Jericho vs. Fandango at Wrestlemania for reasons that I don’t comprehend. That’s quite a way to push someone new though.

Post match Fandango beats up Jericho and shouts WHAT IS MY NAME. A guillotine legdrop leaves Jericho laying so Fandango pronounces his name again for good measure.

Big Show says his partners can trust him. Trust him, that’s true.

We get the Rock vs. Cena video from Raw.

Here are the Rhodes Scholars along with the Bellas. The guys say the girls are beautiful and that’s about it.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay/Tensai

Tensai is in a coonskin cap for no apparent reason. Rhodes and Tensai start things off before it’s quickly off to Brodus who runs over every Scholar in sight. The girls get in a fight on the floor and the match is thrown out at 1:10.

Sheamus says Big Show can trust himself and Orton.

The Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro

Barrett is on commentary and this is non-title. A quick rollup gets two for Miz but he charges into a knee to the face. Cesaro kicks him in the back and face for two each. The gutwrench suplex gets another near fall and it’s off to the cravate. Miz fires back with a knee lift and a big boot, followed by the running corner clothesline and the top rope ax handle.

The Figure Four is countered once but after a chop block Miz takes out the knee and gets the submission in 2:13. Yes, the United States Champion just tapped out 100% clean in less than two and a half minutes in a match to set up an Intercontinental match. Let that sink in for a minute.

Post match Miz calls out Barrett and says he’s only champion for now.

We recap the contract signing and announcement of the stipulations for Lesnar vs. HHH from Raw.

Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show vs. 3MB

Yes, all night long the super team has been worried about not being able to work together against 3MB, the team that I believe at least two of them have individually beaten before. Orton and Mahal get things going with Randy pounding away in the corner. Off to Sheamus as apparently Big Show isn’t official yet. Mahal gets in some right hands but Sheamus easily pounds him down and hits the Regal Roll.

Off to Big Show vs. McIntyre with Show hitting ten chops on the ropes ala Sheamus’ forearms. Back to Mahal and then Slater with both guys being tossed into the ring. With Slater laid out on the mat it’s back to Orton for the powerslam but Slater breaks up the Elevated DDT. Slater gets in a cheap shot and stomps away before it’s off to McIntyre for a neckbreaker. Back to Heath who goes up, only to jump into a dropkick by Randy. The tag brings in Show who cleans house and knocks out McIntyre, only to have Sheamus tag himself in and Brogue Kick Mahal for the pin at 5:53.

Rating: D. Again, we’ve seen at least Sheamus beat all three of these guys on his own, so what exactly was this supposed to prove? It’s like saying you need to be able to work together to crush a group of ants. I get the idea of working together but they didn’t even need to. Did we really need to sit through two hours to get to this?

Sheamus and Big Show are about to fight again but here’s Shield. Before they get here though Sheamus and Big Show get in a fight and shove Orton away. Actually never mind as they stop fighting once Shield is at ringside. Scratch that again as Shield is already bailing without ever getting in the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What in the world did I just wasted two hours on? The world champion isn’t here and we’re 16 days until Wrestlemania? Alberto is so angry about what happened on Monday that he let Swagger get by for free here. We can’t even get an interview from him? Seriously? On top of that we have the United States Champion playing a role that Heath Slater could have played just as well. This show was a waste of time and thank goodness I didn’t waste my time to go and see it. Terrible show.

Results

Mark Henry b. Zack Ryder – World’s Strongest Slam

Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Zig Zag

Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho – Vader Bomb

Brodus Clay/Tensai vs. Rhodes Scholars went to a no contest

The Miz b. Antonio Cesaro – Figure Four Leg Lock

Big Show/Randy Orton/Sheamus b. 3MB – Brogue Kick to Mahal

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 15, 2013
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Brad Maddox

Back to Smackdown as we continue getting ready for Wrestlemania. Counting this episode we have four episodes to go before the big show and a lot of the card is already set. The main thing we still need to do is officially announce the likely six man tag between Shield and Orton/Sheamus/Big Show. We have a main event tonight of Ryback vs. Mark Henry, which I have a feeling won’t happen. Let’s get to it.

Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Rhodes Scholars

Before the match we get a clip of Shield attacking Orton and Sheamus on Sunday. We also hear from Sandow who complains about how bad things went on Monday, but tonight the Scholars are going to ruin Orton and Sheamus’ night. Rhodes and Sheamus start things off and after Cody can’t get anything going he makes the tag off to Sandow. Damien stomps Sheamus down in the corner but Sheamus comes back with the knee lift and some running forearms.

Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest of Sandow before they head to the floor, allowing Rhodes to hit the Disaster Kick off the apron to take Sheamus out. After a break we come back with Cody dropkicking Sheamus down for two. Back to Sandow who pounds away on the pale one, only to have Sheamus headbutt him from the mat to escape. A front facelock keeps Sheamus in control but he punches his way out.

Sheamus is sent into the corner but the referee stops Sandow for a lecture. Damien charges into an elbow in the corner followed by the top rope shoulder from Sheamus to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Orton to powerslam Rhodes. A t-bone suplex puts Cody down again as does the Elevated DDT. It’s a Brogue Kick for Sandow and the RKO to Cody for the pin at 5:57 shown of 9:27. Cole: “HASHTAG CELTIC VIPERS!” It’s time to push Twitter again apparently.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here to establish the super team as a threat. Granted I’m not sure how much of a threat you can prove yourselves to be when you beat a team that loses every time they team up. Again, what was the point in splitting them up if you’re just going to put them back together to job them out all the time?

Post match here’s the Shield…on the screen. They say Sheamus and Orton should be afraid, but not tonight. Ambrose lists off all the people they’ve taken apart and left laying in the ring like roadkill. Rollins wants to know why Shield doesn’t have a match at Wrestlemania because that’s the biggest injustice of all. Ambrose tells Sheamus and Orton to find a partner for a six man tag. Orton and Sheamus say they’re in.

Fandango debuts tonight. Again.

We recap Lesnar’s beatdown of the Outlaws from Raw as well as Heyman accepting Lesnar’s challenge for Wrestlemania.

Sheamus and Orton talk about making the right choice when Big Show comes up. He offers his services even though he doesn’t trust either guy. Instead though, Sheamus and Orton have apparently picked Ryback.

Kaitlyn/Layla vs. Tamina Snuka/Aksana

Tamina shoves Layla down to start but Layla comes back with some kicks. Tamina slams Layla as he blocks a kick before bringing in Aksana. The crowd is dead for this. The Funkadactyls are watching in the back. Aksana puts on a lame bow and arrow hold before it’s back to Tamina for another suplex. Layla whips Tamina into the corner, allowing for a hot tag to Kaitlyn. She fires off kicks and right hands to Aksana and spears her down, but Layla tags herself in and hits Lots of Layla (that bouncing cross body out of the corner of hers) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D. This was a rather boring match with things continuing to lead up towards Layla vs. Kaitlyn, but again there’s no reason to care about these girls. Tamina and Aksana are very boring as villains to be beaten up and Layla does nothing of note either as a challenger. The match was boring on top of having a played out premise to it.

The Bellas come in to see the Funkadactyls and the dancers say the Bellas were big influences on them. The Bellas call the Funkadactyls hoochie mamas who dance for a dinosaur and a man who thinks he’s Japanese. A brawl erupts and the Bellas leave the Funkadactyls laying.

We go back to Raw to recap the events with Punk, Kane, Undertaker and the urn during the tribute to Paul Bearer.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kane takes him into the corner to start and fires off some knee lifts before punching away in another corner. An uppercut puts Ziggler down on the floor for a bit but he fires off some right hands back inside to get himself a breather. A big boot puts Ziggler down again though as does a slam. Dolph fires off more right hands but gets backdropped out to the apron. He comes back in with a missile dropkick for two before kicking Kane in the face.

A front facelock by Ziggler is easily thrown off by Kane but Ziggler counters with the jumping DDT for two. Kane comes right back with a delayed vertical suplex for two. A powerslam attempt is countered into the sleeper by Ziggler but Kane flips him down onto his back for two. Kane’s top rope clothesline puts Dolph down but an AJ distraction breaks up the chokeslam. Langston throws Bryan into the timekeeper’s area so Kane kick Big E. down. Back inside Ziggler hits a Fameasser and the Zig Zag for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the distractions got to be a bit much. It was nice to see Ziggler getting a win here and it appears we’ll be getting Ziggler and Langston vs. HELL NO at Mania for the tag titles. The formula worked for Shawn and Diesel twenty years ago so why not do it again here?

Post match Langston lays out Kane.

We get another parody video from Del Rio and Ricardo, this one about evil Canadian immigrants. Apparently they’re crossing the border and bringing in maple syrup. Is this supposed to be amusing?

Jericho and R-Truth are laughing at the video in the back when Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter come in. Swagger talks about putting the weight of the country on his back and fighting for America’s soul. They accuse Jericho of sneaking across the border and stealing American jobs, but Jericho points out that he was born in New York. Jericho tells Swagger to focus on his match with Del Rio at Wrestlemania but not until after their match tonight.

Fandango still debuts tonight. Allegedly.

Great Khali vs. Fandango

I’m sure you know the drill by now. Khali can’t pronounce Fandango’s name so no match. The idea is starting to get old in a hurry. We waste another five minutes on this.

We get the Rock vs. Cena video from Raw.

Sheamus and Orton talk about being excited for the six man when Shield jumps them. Ryback comes up but Booker tells him to go fight Mark Henry instead of worrying about Shield.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

They lock up and fight into the corner but here’s Shield about thirty five seconds in. No match for all intents and purposes.

Henry bails and Ryback clears out Shield. Henry gets back in but Shield comes back in to beat Ryback down. The TripleBomb lays Ryback out and the Shield leaves, allowing Henry to hit a pair World’s Strongest Slams for good measure.

Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start as they fight for control via a hammerlock. Swagger takes over with a big right hand in the corner but Jericho clotheslines him to get a breather. The springboard dropkick sends Swagger to the floor and we take a break. Back with Swagger hitting a running knee in the corner before hooking a double chickenwing. Jericho finally rolls his way out of it but gets kicked right back down for two.

Off to a front facelock by Jack but Jericho rolls over into a near fall. Jack takes out the knee with a chop block to set up the Patriot Lock. Chris kicks off and gets two more off a small package, only to be suplexed down for two for Swagger. We take another break and come back with Swagger hitting a running splash in the corner but Jericho comes back with a DDT for two. Chris fires off some kicks but Swagger grabs the gutwrench, only to have the powerbomb countered into the Walls of Jericho.

Swagger blocks those though and puts on the Patriot Lock but Jericho rolls through THAT and puts on the Walls. They’re not on tight though and Swagger makes a rope. Out to the floor we go with Jericho sending Jack into the steps. Back in and a top rope cross body gets two for the Canadian but Jack blocks the Codebreaker. The gutwrench powerbomb is enough to end Jericho at 10:03 shown of 16:33.

Rating: C+. This started slow but the stuff after the second break was much better. This is where Jericho is so valuable: he could (and often does) lose like 80% of his matches but he’s such an established star that it doesn’t hurt him at all. The win doesn’t do much good for Swagger but it’s better than losing I guess.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was ok but there was nothing on here that got me excited for the most part. It was mainly Wrestlemania build but the focus was on everything but the Smackdown world title match. Del Rio wasn’t even on the show and the only mention of the match was the unfunny Canadians video. Then again, it’s not like this match means anything so it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Results

Sheamus/Randy Orton b. Rhodes Scholars – RKO to Rhodes

Kaitlyn/Layla b. Tamina Snuka/Aksana – LOL to Aksana

Dolph Ziggler b. Kane – Zig Zag

Ryback vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho – Gutwrench Powerbomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 8, 2013
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We continue to move closer to Wrestlemania with this stop in Albany. The main event tonight is the match that the fans picked last week with Alberto Del Rio facing Dolph Ziggler although not for the title. Other than that we’re likely to see some more development in Sheamus/Orton/Big Show vs. Shield in a story that started last week. Also I’m sure Swagger and Colter will be here. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic to Paul Bearer. Very nice.

The opening video shows the end of last week’s show with Orton and Sheamus being ready to fight Shield before Big Show gave them a surprise hand. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Big Show.

Here are Swagger and Colter to start things off. Swagger introduces Colter, who wants the crowd to admit that they all think like him. Everyone should be able to see what’s wrong with America, but everyone else is too afraid to do something about it. Colter asks how many people know someone who has lost a job to someone who has snuck across the border and will work for a lower wage. He talks about writing a new bill of rights for the citizens because they’ve had enough of this and if you don’t like it that’s too bad.

This brings out Alberto and Ricardo with the champion saying that he’s got proof of what Colter and Swagger really think America is about. We get a video of Ricardo dressed as Colter and Alberto portraying Swagger. Ricardolter says the real threat to America is Mexican food, because real American bellies can’t take those kinds of beans and spices. Real Americans love pizza and French fries you see. Swaggerto wants to go get a pizza but he isn’t allowed to because he has to say his catchphrase first. Not bad.

3MB vs. HELL NO

Before the match we see 3MB getting beaten up by Tensai/Brodus Clay/Honky Tonk Man. This is non-title and it’s Slater and McIntyre for 3MB. Kane and McIntyre start things off with both guys getting in a shot to the face before it’s off to Slater. Kane elbows him down and Bryan gets a tag in. Bryan sends Heath to the floor with a hurricanrana but misses the knee off the apron. McIntyre gets in a shot to the head of Bryan and the band takes over.

Drew pounds away in the corner as 3MB makes some quick tags in and out. McIntyre stays in for a bit and is caught in a belly to back suplex from Daniel, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. Slater comes in as well and is immediately run over by the monster. A low dropkick keeps Slater down as does an uppercut which gets two. There’s the side slam for good measure but a Jinder Mahal distraction lets Slater stay out of the chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and counters a rollup attempt into the NO Lock on Slater for the submission at 3:52.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as HELL NO continues to roll along while having no challengers in sight. There’s no one for them to fight at the moment and they aren’t having as many problems as they had before, so what is there to be interested about with them right now? They aren’t really even funny together anymore.

We hear about Natalya and Alicia Fox going to Rwanda on a charity trip for malaria relief.

Ziggler talks about how the fans voted him in to face Del Rio because they want to see the most show stealing match in Smackdown history. It’s also about the MITB case because history will be made tonight.

Ryback is on the way to the ring for a match when he sees Mark Henry. They stare each other down again but nothing happens.

Brad Maddox has joined the commentary booth.

We see HHH’s challenge to Brock Lesnar from Raw.

Damien Sandow is in the ring saying that tonight he’s facing the brute that Darwin’s theory of evolution forgot. If he’s hungry, he should feed himself with the arts.

Ryback vs. Damien Sandow

Ryback takes him into the corner to start before throwing Sandow across the ring. Sandow rolls to the floor for only a few seconds before Ryback throws him back in. Damien gets in one shot but sees Ryback glaring at him, sending him running away. Back in again and Sandow gets in a few shots to the back to take over.

Some knees to the ribs slow Ryback down as Maddox thinks Cole is his employee. Off to a chinlock by Damien but Ryback quickly breaks free and elbows him down. A backdrop puts Damien down again as Maddox thinks Ryback is cheating somehow. The Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin on Sandow at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another squash here as Sandow’s offense seemed to annoy Ryback more than hurt him. That’s a good sign though as Ryback is starting to string together some victories after the disastrous winter that he just got done with. The fans still seem to like him though and that’s a good sign for the monster.

We get a clip from after Raw went off the air where the Shield attacked Big Show and actually managed the hit him with the TripleBomb.

Big Show says he’ll fight anyone that gets in his way and knock them out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here again. Brad applauds himself for signing off on this match despite having nothing to do with it. If he wasn’t so worthless I might say I like him a bit. Ziggler shoves him into the corner to start and hits a Stinger Splash before choking away a bit. Langston adds in a shot of his own so Ricardo hits him with a towel. Langston goes after Rodriguez so Ricardo picks up the bucket and throws some water, which hits AJ by mistake. AJ chases Ricardo around but gets caught by Big E., earning the two of them an ejection. The match has basically stopped during this whole scene.

We take a break and come back with Dolph getting two off an elbow drop. Off to a chinlock by Ziggler for a bit but Del Rio comes back with a sunset flip for two. Swagger and Colter are watching in the back. Off to another chinlock with a body scissors by Ziggler which doesn’t last long again. Del Rio launches Dolph into the air before putting him on the top rope for a reverse superplex. It stuns both guys though so they stand up for a slugout.

Alberto takes over again with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick for two. Ziggler is sent into the corner but he fights out of the Backstabber, only to be caught in the second attempt, getting two for Del Rio. Josh brings up a good point on commentary: where is Booker? He’s barely been around in the last few weeks.

Alberto goes up but jumps into a dropkick which only gets two for Dolph. A German suplex gets a near fall on Ziggler but he comes back with a tornado DDT for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup but the second attempt gets the submission from Dolph at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: B-. This started off stupid with all of the comedy antics but it picked up by the end. The problem here though is the usual: Ziggler loses yet again, despite probably cashing in soon. I know I’ve been saying that for awhile now but he has until July, which is a lot closer than it sounds. I hope he loses at this point though, because it would make the title look weak otherwise.

In the back, Bryan makes fun of AJ for being soaked and looking like a Shetland pony. She doesn’t care because soon enough she’ll be with the World Heavyweight Champion. Bryan reminds her that when they were together, he was world champion. AJ says he lost it in 18 seconds, but Bryan says with Ziggler, AJ should be used to stuff lasting 18 seconds.

Mark Henry vs. Yoshi Tatsu

This is exactly what you would expect with Henry winning in 39 seconds via the World’s Strongest Slam.

We get Donald Trump’s Hall of Fame video.

Sheamus says Big Show shouldn’t blame him for what Shield did to him on Raw. It doesn’t surprise him though because nothing Big Show does is his fault. It’s not his fault that his gear smells because he never washes it or that people think he’s Shrek when he goes to Universal Studios. It won’t be his fault either when Sheamus kicks his head off later tonight.

We go back to Raw to see Rock and Cena’s confrontation.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka

Layla is at ringside. Non-title again here and Kaitlyn starts fast with a backdrop. Cole gets sent face first into the ropes which sends her out to the floor. Layla gets knocked down on the floor so she tries to get in, allowing Tamina to hit a Samoan Drop on Kaitlyn for the pin at 1:24.

Sandow and Rhodes are watching in the back. Damien wants to talk strategy for their match on Monday but Rhodes wants to talk about Kaitlyn. Sandow thinks she’s a good wrestler but Rhodes means as a woman. Damien thinks she’s a success given how bad her genetic makeup is. These two still have decent chemistry together.

Fandango debuts tonight….allegedly.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango

No match again as Fandango doesn’t like how Lillian pronounces his name. Fandango calls her Jillian.

Booker and Teddy are in the back and don’t know what to think of what they just saw. Booker sends Teddy to tell Fandango that he has to perform the next time he’s told to.

We get a video from Raw, summarizing that Undertaker faces Punk at Wrestlemania.

Colter and Swagger video on speaking English.

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Show tries his chop in the corner but Sheamus avoids it and pounds away at the giant. A headbutt puts Sheamus down though and Show pounds away in the corner. Show spears him down to the floor where Sheamus is chopped in the chest. As they come back in, Sheamus gets in some shots to the chest, only to be launched into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Big Show holding a nerve hold followed by a side slam for two. Big Show goes up for his Vader Bomb but Sheamus pulls him down. Show escapes again and hits the falling backwards powerbomb for two. We head to the corner for a long series of chops by Big Show before he grabs Sheamus by the beard. Sheamus fights back with shoulders blocks in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner before clotheslining Big Show down.

Sheamus goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. He counters with a DDT for two though and both guys are down. Big Show blocks White Noise but can’t block it twice in a row, allowing Sheamus to plant him with it. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Big Show rolls to the floor. The Irishman hits a clothesline off the apron to put Show down again and we head back inside. As Show is on the apron though it’s a Brogue Kick to put him down again. Here’s Shield though and we’ll say the match is thrown out at 7:00 shown of 10:30.

Rating: C. This was their usual hard hitting brawl but the match wasn’t flowing as well as it usually does. It was more like a collection of moves instead a well built match like they had at Hell in a Cell or one of their later fights. To be fair though this is just a Smackdown match with a run-in finish so it’s not like they needed to make it as good as they had before.

With Sheamus surrounded, here’s Orton to even the odds a little bit. The numbers catch up with them though until Big Show gets up and cleans house almost on his own. The Shield runs away and Big Show knocks out Sheamus, onlly to walk into an RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a great episode. They’re definitely in build mode for Wrestlemania, but there are still some holes with no matches. It’s clear that Ryback is fighting Henry and the six man is going to happen as well as the world title, but stuff like Ziggler and the tag champions aren’t clear yet. With nothing coming up for them yet, it’s kind of dull watching them have the same seemingly meaningless matches that we’ve watched them have for months.

Results

HELL NO b. 3MB – NO Lock to Slater

Ryback b. Damien Sandow – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Mark Henry b. Yoshi Tatsu – World’s Strongest Slam

Tamina Snuka b. Kaitlyn – Samoan Drop

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2006
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to the land of requests here which means I have no idea why I’m watching this. We’re at the go home show for Survivor Series which means things are pretty boring right now. There are some Survivor Series matches at the PPV with the main one being Team Cena vs. Team Big Show, even though Big Show is an ECW guy at this point. As usual I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Here’s Team Cena for Sunday to open the show. That would be captain Cena, RVD, Sabu, Lashley and Kane which is hit and miss to say the least. Cena cuts to the chase and says that he wants to get Survivor Series going tonight, so get out here Big Show and company. Instead it’s Rated RKO along with Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Gregory Helms and Mike Knox with the captains bragging about beating Flair/Piper for the titles recently. You know, like any good heels would do.

As Orton brags about Morriso winning the IC Title from Jeff Hardy later tonight, here are Flair and his fellow legends (minus Piper, who thankfully had a concussion last week. When he was in the hospital getting checked out, they found cancer in him, which was previously undetected. He was saved in time because of said concussion) to say that beating up some legends doesn’t mean much. Uh…..Ric……

Thankfully before Naitch can say anything else that stupid, here’s the Spirit Squad (giving us about 20 people in this segment) to make fun of the old guys even more. This coming from a bunch of male cheerleaders in bright green uniforms. Team DX (Shawn, HHH, Punk, Hardys) interrupt now as this is getting ridiculous.

They want to fight, so here’s Team Big Show (Show, Umaga, Finlay, MVP and Test, bringing the head count to twenty nine people) to say they’re better than anyone else out here. Cena is like screw it let’s do it right now, but Vince pops up to reach the Royal Rumble level. Tonight it’s an eight man tag which is the only logical move here.

Sabu vs. Umaga

This is a Survivor Series preview for Team Cena vs. Team Big Show. Umaga is an undefeated monster at this point and takes over quickly to start. He throws Sabu around to start and pounds away in the corner before scaring the referee away. Sabu is knocked to the floor and sent into the barricade for good measure. Back in and Sabu gets in some right hands but gets superkicked down for his troubles. Umaga misses a charge in the corner and a springboard leg lariat staggers the monster. A springboard tornado DDT has limited effect though and the Samoan Spike ends Sabu quick. Total squash.

Here’s Torrie in the ring to throw out some shirts but Chris Masters interrupts. He makes some unwanted advances on her until Carlito makes the save. That goes badly for the guy with the insane hair (Carlito) as he’s put in the Masterlock. Jerry Lawler makes the save, presumably setting up a future match in Memphis.

Nitro says he’ll win the title tonight.

Flair is making out with Candace Michelle when the Spirit Squad comes up. Ron Simmons is the punchline as expected.

Jeff gives the referee the title for the ladder match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Ladder match with Jeff defending in case you’re stupid like that. The fans are all behind Hardy as they lock up to start. Johnny bails to the floor but comes back in with some uppercuts to take over. The Whisper in the Wind puts Nitro back down but Nitro comes back with a facebuster. There’s the screech from Melina and Nitro gets the ladder. Before it can be put inside though Jeff hits a baseball slide to take him out. A big dive takes out Nitro and the ladder as we take a break.

Back with Jeff loading up the ladder in the ring, only to have Nitro shoving him down and into the ropes. Jeff gets back up and rams Nitro face first into the ladder before going up and blocking a superplex off the ladder. Jeff loads up something off the top of the ladder but gets crotched on the top rope instead. Nitro loads up the ladder but Jeff comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take the ladder and Nitro down at the same time.

Nitro comes back with a catapult but launches Jeff onto the ladder for no apparent reason, causing a fight on top of said ladder. In a pretty awesome move, Johnny jumps off the ladder and dropkicks Jeff on the way down, sending both guys crashing down to the mat. With nothing else to do, Nitro throws the ladder at Hardy in the corner to crush him again. Johnny goes a climbing but Jeff makes an easy stop. A slam on the ladder keeps Nitro down but Jeff’s Swanton attempt only hits ladder.

Johnny throws the ladder at Jeff’s head and dropkicks him down but can’t follow up. Jeff’s back is whipped hard into the corner, allowing Nitro to bring in the big ladder. It gets driven into the champion’s ribs before being set up in the middle of the ring. Actually never mind as Nitro moves it over to the corner instead. Hardy comes back and sends him into the big ladder before climbing up the regular one. They both climb up, resulting in a sunset bomb to knock Nitro silly. A legdrop off the ladder keeps Nitro down and Hardy puts the ladder over him before climbing up to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was more about the brutality of the spots instead of the drama and that’s definitely an acceptable way to go. It’s not on the, pardon the pun, highest rung of the ladder match ladder, but for a free one on TV, there isn’t much to complain about on this one. Hardy doing his stunt show was a tried and true idea and it worked here fine.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for the Spirit Squad on Sunday as well as tonight. The liver quiver line is good most of the time.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky

That would be Dolph Ziggler for you new people. Nicky is on his own here without the Squad. They lock up to start and Dusty takes him into the corner for the ultra rare clean break. They do the same thing with the roles reversed but Nicky tries to fire off a right hand in the corner. Dusty loads up the Bionic Elbow but the future showoff runs away. Nothing of note happens for a bit as they stare at each other to fill in time for the old man. Nicky pokes him in the eye a few times and goes after the knee, only to get sent out to the floor with ease. Back in and Nicky jumps into some right hands before the Elbow ends him.

Rating: F. What in the world are you expecting here? Dusty was 61 here and still the better of the two out there.

Rated RKO is in the back with Lita when Maria pops in. Lita leaves as Maria is all bubbly while asking if Rated RKO can win tonight and on Sunday. Before Edge can answer we hear commotion which the champions go to investigate. Cryme Tyme is making noise for some reason and an argument ensues. Edge says he knows black people because he’s Canadian. The champs leave so Maria gets to watch See No Evil with Cryme Tyme. Sweet goodness she was gorgeous. Total waste of three minutes.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Apparently Lita has asked for a stipulation for this, so Mickie is blindfolded. Apparently last week Mickie was shackled and the week before that she had an arm tied behind her back. Total squash here with Lita hitting a fast DDT and the moonsault for the pin. Ok then.

Post match Lita goes on a rant about how important she is to the division and how awesome she is. She says she’s (legitimately) retiring on Sunday after the title match between these two which wasn’t that well known coming into this.

Video on Batista vs. Booker T which would be one of the worst PPV main events ever.

John Cena/D-Generation X/Ric Flair vs. Rated-RKO/Big Show/Kenny

All captains here which isn’t a bad idea. During the heel entrance we get the PPV run down. Rated-RKO are tag champions, Show is ECW Champion and Cena is WWE Champion. Everyone jumps on Cena to start and is triple teamed before DX is out here. Here comes the cavalry though and house is cleaned. Edge is left alone against all four good guys and it’s time for a lot of shots to his Canadian head. Shawn adds a top rope elbow for good measure.

Big Show pulls Edge away from Sweet Chin Music before running over all of the guys guys with headbutts. Show loads up a double chokeslam on DX but Flair hits him low. DX hits him low too and we take a break. Apparently the match officially started during the break so all of that was pre-match stuff. We come back with Shawn in trouble due to Edge stomping away before it’s off to Kenny.

Orton comes in for the still boring Garvin Stomp and it’s back to Big Show. The giant kicks him down and drops a leg for two as HHH makes the save. Back to Kenny for a shot off the top for two before Edge gets another tag. After a quick bow and arrow hold it’s back to Orton who takes forever loading up the RKO. Shawn uses the long delay to counter and it’s hot tag to Cena who gets to beat up Kenny. There’s the Shuffle but Big Show breaks up the FU. Show beats up everyone in sight but Cena gets out of a chokeslam. A superkick puts Show on the floor and the FU ends Kenny for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the point of it was to preview the matches on Sunday. That being said, it’s pretty hard to get excited over something like Kenny vs. John Cena, despite the roll that Cena was on at this point. This was also pretty short and not long enough to get anywhere, but that’s the norm for a match with this many people involved.

Post match all thirty people in the elimination matches on Sunday run in for the huge brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Other than the ladder match, this was a dull show. None of the guys seemed particularly interested in the show tonight and Survivor Series wound up sucking just the same. None of the matches they built up tonight are of any interest to me and I don’t think many other people cared either. Nothing to see here but the ladder match was good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/12/survivor-series-count-up-2012-redo-2006-man-this-year-sucked/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 6, 2000
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another On This Day as we approach Wrestlemania. I did the show before this and you can check that out in the On This Day section for February 27. Anyway the main story is that Rock wants to be in the main event of Wrestlemania but Shane screwed him out of his chance last week. Wrestlemania is in less than a month so Rock has to hurry to get there on time. Let’s get to it.

We open with what else but a recap of the battle of the McMahon siblings. On Smackdown it was Rock/Rikishi vs. Big Show/HHH but Show accidentally hit HHH with a chair, allowing Rock to pin the world champion. Shane and Stephanie started arguing post match but HHH saved his wife from any potential danger.

Here are Shane and Big Show to open things up. Shane shows us a clip of Show hitting HHH, asking us to figure out if it was an accident or not. Shane seems to think it’s accidental but HHH shoving him down certainly wasn’t an accident. Shane goes on a rant about how HHH made it personal by running Vince off and turning his sister into a cheap sl**. McMahon makes HHH vs. Rikishi in a Wrestlemania warm up match, but that brings out the Game himself along with his wife.

HHH says that he and Shane are brothers so they need to get along. He has to pause for a SL** chant at Stephanie before talking about how Wrestlemania is the Biggest Show of the year. At Wrestlemania, HHH is going to prove that Big Show isn’t in his league. Stephanie, in her eternally high pitched voice, makes Kane vs. Big Show to open the show. As for the mean comment, Stephanie slaps the tar out of Shane. Well that sums it up well enough I guess.

Earlier today the Mean Street Posse delivered room service to Crash Holly and brought referee Tim White with him. A Hardcore Title broke out in the hotel room but the Posse couldn’t pin Crash down on a bed against his will and take something from him. The Posse hit each other with lamps by mistake, allowing Crash to escape.

Kane vs. Big Show

It’s a brawl to start with Kane winning a brief slugout before hitting an enziguri to stagger Big Show. Shane low bridges Kane but the masked man lands on his feet of course. The distraction lets Show send Kane HARD into the steps though as HHH is watching in the back. Back in and Show pounds away in the corner but Kane comes back with an uppercut. HHH and Stephanie are still watching. A side slam puts Kane down but Show misses an elbow drop. Kane hits a DDT to drop Show and there’s the top rope clothesline for no cover. They both load up chokeslams but here’s Rock for a Rock Bottom on Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but again the right move was to keep things moving fast. Big Show and Kane just do not work well together and they never have. The match was there for Rock to run in though and that Rock Bottom looked good. Rock always has had surprising strength. Decent enough all things considered.

Kane chokeslams Show post match.

Mae Young insists that she’s coming out with Henry tonight despite having a hand last week.

The APA do a Pulp Fiction driving scene parody to establish that they’re open for business now. Why? “Because we need beer money.”

Mark Henry vs. D-Von Dudley

D-Von charges in but gets beaten down by Henry for his efforts. Mae and Bubba get on the apron as D-Von takes over, only to have Mark pull Bubba in. There’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba and a powerslam for D-Von for the pin. Short and seemingly worthless.

Post match the Dudleys hit a good looking 3D on Henry before looking at Mae. In a scene that would get them thrown off TV in a heartbeat today, Mae is powerbombed off the middle rope through a table. Bubba’s trance is still cool looking.

Road Dogg/X-Pac vs. Too Cool

Scotty and Pac get things going and the fans think X-Pac sucks. Scotty is flipped around and winds up dancing as a result. Off to Grandmaster for more dancing followed by a hip toss to send Pac to the floor. Roadie comes in and is sent down as well before Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Too Cool hits a double elbow on Roadie but he pops back up and throws Scotty to the floor.

X-Pac sends him into the steps and there’s a spin kick to take Scotty down again. Back in and Hotty rams DX’s heads together before it’s back to Grandmaster. Everything breaks down and Grandmaster hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale on Road Dogg to set up the Worm. A flapjack puts X-Pac down but Tori crotches Sexay to break up the Hip Hop Drop. Not that it matters though as here’s Kane for a piece of X-Pac and the DQ.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here as Too Cool was on one heck of a roll at this point. The tag division was showing signs of actually being alive at this point as there were several decent to good teams running around. The division got hot as a result, but it reached unthinkable heights with the advent of triple ladder matches with tables and chairs on the side.

Post match Kane beats up Roadie as well.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is defending here but doesn’t like the idea of facing a has been like Jericho. Cue the Canadian who makes fun of Angle for living with his mom and tells said mom to put down the whiskey and watch her son get a beating. I believe this is the debut of the Kirk Angel moniker. They speed things up to start while I believe botching a leapfrog spot with Jericho hitting an elbow instead of ducking underneath but it looked ok.

The champion comes back with a hot shot before pounding away in the corner, only to have Jericho do the exact same thing. Well if you’re going to copy someone, copy an Olympian. Angle gets up a boot in the corner to stop a charging Jericho. Chris tries the flying forearm but hits the referee by mistake. There’s the Lionsault but there’s no referee meaning no new champion. Angle loads up a title belt shot but gets caught in the Walls for his efforts. Jericho pulls it to the middle of the ring but…..BOB BACKLUND comes in for a crossface chickenwing on Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. It’s Angle vs. Jericho so you know it’s going to be good. This was unfortunately short but they would get a lot more time and a lot more Benoit at Wrestlemania, making for an awesome match. These guys would dominate the midcard for over a year and then move up to the main event soon after that. Good stuff here but short.

HHH vs. Rikishi

Non-title of course. Rikishi has a bad ankle coming into this. A quick Pedigree attempt is countered but Rikishi can’t sit on HHH’s chest just yet. Instead is an avalanche in the corner to put HHH down and there’s the Stinkface. A Stephanie distraction allows for a low blow to stop Rikishi dead. Rikishi is sent shoulder first into the post so HHH can stomp and choke away back inside. A facebuster puts Rikishi down because HHH doesn’t follow his racial stereotypes. HHH finally wakes up and goes after the BIG FREAKING CAST on Rikishi’s leg. He pounds away in the corner but walks into a Samoan Drop to give the fat man a breather. Rikishi knocks him into the corner but Stephanie slides in a chair. A blast to the fat man’s back is good for the DQ and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Not much here as yet again it’s to set up the post match stuff. Rikishi would go on to solid success over the rest of the year, but at the end of the day he was a dancing Samoan in a thong and there’s a limit on how far you can take that. The match was ok enough but the ankle stuff took way too long to get to. Also what is with all the DQ’s tonight?

Post match the Rock comes out and hits a Rock Bottom on HHH to set up the Banzai from Rikishi. Too Cool and Rikishi do some dancing.

Promo for Rock being on Saturday Night Live in a few weeks to promote Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane go to talk to HHH about something.

Matt Hardy vs. Steve Blackman

This would still be the Head Cheese period for Blackman so Snow wants an army of midgets carrying platters of cheese during the entrance. Blackman threatens the production guy with violence if any of that happens. To show you how confusing the Hardys were back in the day, Jeff is announced as the guy in the match but it’s Matt in there instead. I couldn’t remember which was which either at this point. Blackman kicks Matt down to start and blocks the tornado DDT out of the corner.

A quick legdrop by Matt gets two as the fans are dead for this. Blackman gets sent to the floor and there’s a big dive to take him out. Matt heads to the apron, only to get caught in a kind of gutbuster, sending him face first into the steps. Back inside Blackman poses some more and hits a backbreaker, only to jump into a boot to the face. A DDT gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a German suplex by Blackman for two. Jeff and Snow get in a fight on the floor as Blackman goes up for a kick to the chest for the pin.

Rating: D. I have no idea why this match got five minutes but it didn’t work at all. This kept going and going before it ever got anywhere close to going anywhere. The Hardys were a good bit away from being what they would become yet while Head Cheese never quite got anything going. The fans were into them though so I guess there’s that.

Shane and Big Show convince HHH to make Rock vs. Benoit in a cage match. Didn’t Shane have match making powers an hour and a half ago? Why did he need HHH and Stephanie?

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Edge and Christian

This was during the brief period where Terri managed Edge and Christian so she’s on commentary here. Edge gets double teamed to start but he fires off a faceplant to stop Saturn. Off to Christian for a double hiptoss by the Canadians. It’s back to Edge who has his knee taken out by Saturn with a chop block. Saturn works over the knees as Terri rambles on about how awesome she is. Dean comes in to crank on the leg a bit before cannonballing down onto it.

Edge comes back with an enziguri to take Malenko down and there’s the double tag to bring in Christian vs. Saturn. JR is getting sick of Terri and I can’t blame him a bit. Thankfully she gets up to watch as everything breaks down, only to get knocked down by Edge as Dean punches him. An Eddie Guerrero distraction lets the Radicalz go High/Low on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was acceptable but DEAR GOODNESS was Terri annoying. Thankfully Edge and Christian got away from her soon after this once the brass figured out the truth about Terri: no one cared about her at all. Besides, Trish Stratus would be debuting in less than two weeks and she blew Terri out of the water in the looks department so there was no real need for Terri to be around anymore.

Hardcore Title: Crash Holly vs. Viscera

The challenging Viscera throws Crash around to start and we head into the crowd very quickly. Crash runs to the back but gets caught again and whipped into whatever Viscera can find. They wind up at the APA office where Crash gets in a low blow. Viscera stumbles into the card table so the APA lays him out, giving Crash the fluke pin. Surprisingly enough, Viscera’s only Hardcore Title reign came in the battle royal at Wrestlemania. You would think he would be a natural fit for that belt.

We look at Mae getting beaten up earlier.

Rock thinks HHH and Stephanie are nuts if they think the cage match tonight gets rid of their problems.

Mark Henry goes after the Dudleys but gets beaten down.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Cage match here and I think it’s escape only for a change. They slug it out to start with Benoit pounding away into the corner. A big clothesline puts Benoit down but Rock can’t escape. Benoit suplexes Rock down but there’s a hard elbow from Rock to come back. Benoit comes back as Shane and Big Show come out for a closer look. Chris pounds away in the corner but gets backdropped into the cage to shift the momentum again.

Rock gets crotched as he tries to get out and here are HHH and Stephanie. Another suplex puts Rock down but he comes back with right hands and choking. Benoit suplexes him again to put Rock down but he crotches himself trying to get down. Rocky’s problem becomes apparent: Rock can’t escape because of who is waiting outside. Benoit fights back with chops, tying Rock up in the ropes in the process.

Rock escapes the ropes and avoids a charge before sending Benoit into the cage. Benoit goes up top for the Swan Dive but it knocks Benoit silly again. Rock stops him from escaping and hits the spinebuster, only to get caught in Rolling Germans from the Canadian. Rock escapes the third and grabs a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to put both guys down. The climb has to be slow though because of HHH and Benoit. They both climb the cage but Rock sits down and hits a wicked powerbomb to take him out. HHH tries to climb up and stop Rock but is punched down onto Big Show, allowing Rock to escape for the win.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work all that well for me. As is the case with almost everything else associated with the main event at this point, this was overdone. I get the idea they were going for, but the match became all about Rock having to deal with HHH and Big Show instead of Benoit, who was made to look like an afterthought here.

Post match it’s a 3-1 beatdown and they get him back inside the cage. HHH gets a chair and the fans want Rikishi. Rock gets sent into the cage but HHH’s chair shot hits Big Show instead. HHH gets punched down as Shane runs out of the cage to escape. Rock stands on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This didn’t do it for me all that well. I’ll give them this though: the reaction when Rock gets into the main event of Wrestlemania is going to be through the moon. Other than that though, the show isn’t really clicking all that well. That would be the case at Wrestlemania as well, with only the main event and two other matches having any kind of interest whatsoever. This didn’t work all that well but with the amount of wrestling on it, there isn’t much to complain about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 5, 2010
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

I did this show last week for On This Day so here’s kind of a sequel I guess. We’re still heading towards Wrestlemania with Jericho defending against Edge so there’s your main focus. Other than that though we need to fill in the rest of the card, which means we’ve got some more developing to do tonight. I’m not sure what to expect out of tonight’s show and that’s the way I like it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Edge and Jericho’s segment from last week with Edge spearing Jericho mere seconds after Jericho said that would never happen again.

Theme song opens us up.

It’s Edge vs. Big Show in the main event.

Speaking of Edge, here he is to open the show. He talks about how we’re getting close to Wrestlemania and he’s a little bit scared. Jericho has been out here for weeks talking about how he’s the best in the world and how he’s going to hurt Edge at Wrestlemania. However, no matter how many times Jericho says that, he keeps getting speared. At Wrestlemania, the same thing is going to happen: Jericho is going to get speared. This brings out Big Show with something of his own to say.

Edge calls this a depressing surprise and thinks it’s because Edge beat up Miz last week. Tonight Big Show will get speared too, but Big Show says that’s not the only reason why he’s there. Tonight Show and Miz are also finding out who gets the title shot at Wrestlemania.

Big Show talks about being dominant, so Edge worries that Big Show will eat him. We get the “I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast” verbatim from Happy Gilmore to show how original the writing team is. Edge makes fun of Big Show’s breath and promises to spear him later tonight. Show charges at Edge and gets low bridged to the floor. Serves him right.

Teddy Long is in the back reading WWE Magazine when Drew McIntyre comes in. He doesn’t like the idea that fans think he lost to Kane last week, so he glares at Teddy. Long breaks down again and says the record book shows that Drew is still undefeated. Kane is still in the MITB match though. Drew gets another chance to qualify next though, against Matt Hardy.

Wrestlemania ad.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre

During the entrance we see Drew losing last week. Striker: “This is the WWE. We don’t pretend things didn’t happen.” Ladies and gentlemen, your WOW THEY REALLY JUST SAID THAT line of the year. Matt has his NXT rookie Justin Gabriel with him. The fans are completely behind Hardy here as he grabs a headlock to start things off. McIntyre elbows him down for two but Matt gets two of his own off a rollup. A clothesline puts Drew on the floor but he comes back by dropping Hardy ribs first onto the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Drew holding Matt in a chinlock which is quickly broken. A neckbreaker gets two on Hardy as does a northern lights suplex. Back to a modified chinlock with an arm trap but Matt fights out. He goes up but has to fight off a Drew superplex attempt. With Drew knocked down, there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist of Fate is countered into a Futureshock DDT attempt, but Matt reverses into a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. I never was a big fan of McIntyre and Hardy was on pure fumes at this point. He would be gone soon after this, I believe during the post Wrestlemania European tour. The match was nothing special and naturally Drew would get the loss expunged from his record yet again because that’s his thing at the time.

Post match Drew yells at Striker, saying that he’ll be at Wrestlemania no matter what.

In the back, a character that no one cared about at all named Slam Master J (Jesse from Jesse and Festus), talks to John Morrison about Parkour. R-Truth comes in with David Otunga, his NXT Rookie. Truth and Otunga had been having problems lately but apparently they’re ok now. Morrison and Truth have a chance to get a tag title shot at Wrestlemania tonight so they need to work together. They discuss team names like Black Magic and the White Shadow or Rock and Rap. Truth suggests “The Unified Tag Team Champions” which pleases Truth.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Shelton runs him over to start and POINTS AT THE SIGN! Ziggler grabs a quick sleeper but Shelton jawbreaks his way out. A Stinger Splash misses Dolph in the corner though and Ziggy stomps away. Ziggler hits a dropkick for two and it’s off to the chinlock again. A neckbreaker gets two for Dolph as does a jumping elbow.

Shelton counters a monkey flip by landing on his feet and clotheslining Ziggler down. A German suplex gets two for Benjamin but he gets caught in a sleeper. That gets nowhere so Shelton sends him into the corner and tries Paydirt (the jumping Downward Spiral) but Ziggler falls the wrong way, making it like a jumping clothesline or punch. Either way it gets Shelton the pin.

Rating: D+. This just happened. Seriously that’s it. Two guys had a wrestling match with nothing significant going on and a bad ending. What else are you expecting me to grade it as? Ziggler was almost a year from being anything resembling good and Shelton was WAY below what he used to be, but he could jump so he kept getting pushed. Nothing to see here and it left a bad taste in my mouth if that makes sense.

Cena says don’t try this.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Ezekiel Jackson

I smell a squash. Yep I’m right as this lasts about a minute and is your paint by numbers squash: power moves, quick Yang comeback, release Rock Bottom by Jackson for the pin.

Rey’s daughter is here and Rey gives her a Mysterio action figure. Tiffany, the ECW Gm, is going to keep an eye on her while Rey has a match. The daughter crosses him for protection which is cool.

Video on Taker vs. HBK II at Wrestlemania set to Ain’t No Grave by Johnny Cash.

Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Gallows’ leader CM Punk talks about bad parents who let their kids watch their “superhero” Rey Mysterio. Apparently the fans are all cowards just like Mysterio, because Rey won’t face Punk like a man. Rey cost him a chance to win three straight MITBs and now it’s time for revenge. Punk gets in Gallows’ face and says he’s fighting for an entire society. Gallows pounds away to start so Rey goes after his legs.

A belly to back suplex puts Rey right back down as does a flying shoulder. Darren Young, the NXT rookie of CM Punk, is watching in the back. Rey finally gets in some offense by sending Gallows out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Luke clotheslining Rey down for two and sending him to the apron. Rey is whipped into the post and Gallows is in full control. Back in and a slam gets two for Gallows as the match stays slow.

Off to a chinlock as the fans chant 619. Rey starts to fight up so Gallows hits a fallaway slam (Striker: “How about that Chico?”) for two but Rey avoids a charge in the corner, sending Gallows’ shoulder into the post. A springboard seated senton sets up a springboard cross body for two. Luke comes back with a clothesline but Rey counters what looks like a chokeslam into an X-Factor. He takes too long going up though and dives into an uppercut from Gallows for two.

Rey loads up a tornado DDT but stops halfway through, turning it into a guillotine choke. Gallows makes a rope but Rey immediately knocks him into 619 position. Punk’s chick Serena interferes though to block the 619, allowing Punk to get a breather. Gallows tries a powerbomb but Rey falls forward and gets a quick pin.

Rating: C-. Better match than the previous one but not great here either. Gallows, currently Doc in Aces and 8’s in TNA, is such a generic big guy that he makes it hard to care about him at all. This was all about building up Punk vs. Mysterio though and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was just kind of there.

Post match Punk tries a GTS but Rey escapes and kicks him in the knee.

Jericho wants Big Show to destroy Edge. Show says he’s going to do it but not for Jericho.

MVP says don’t try this.

We recap the HBK segment from Raw with him saying without beating Undertaker, there’s no reason for him to have a career anymore. HHH came out and told Shawn he knows Shawn can beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. DX proceeded to not win the tag titles that night because Undertaker distracted Shawn. Sheamus then ran in and beat up HHH.

John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

Winners get a title shot at Wrestlemania against ShowMiz. We get a quick recap of Truth and Otunga having issues on NXT to fill in time. The Hart Dynasty is Tyson Kidd/David Hart Smith/Natalya and Cryme Tyme is Shad Gaspar and JTG. The Dynasty might be heel here but I can’t remember exactly. Morrison and Shad start and this is one fall to a finish. It’s power vs. speed here as Striker talks about which team matches up best against the tag champions. A spinebuster puts Morrison down and we take a break.

Back with JTG holding Morrison in a chinlock before it’s back to Shad. Kidd tags himself in but almost immediately tags back out to Smith. Seems pointless but whatever. Smith does something I never remember seeing by rolling belly to belly suplexes for two. Morrison and Smith ram heads to put both guys down and there’s the double tag to give us Truth vs. Kidd.

Truth cleans house and kicks Kidd in the face for no cover. Shad and Smith go at it but Morrison hits a cross body to take all three of them to the floor. Tyson hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Truth but R- immediately comes back with the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here other than a fast match to give us some number one contenders. The title scene was its usual generic self at this point with two thrown together teams facing each other for the titles at Wrestlemania while regular teams like these two are left in the preshow. Eh then again it’s not like any of them mean anything so it’s fine.

The winners dance post match.

Laycool is in the back with Vickie and they suck up to each other a bit before making fun of Mickie James from last week when Michelle won the title. Vickie gets a Laycool t-shirt. Beth Phoenix comes up and scares Laycool away. Phoenix wants her title shot but Vickie says it’ll be on Vickie’s time.

We run down the Mania card.

Edge vs. Big Show

Big Show runs him over to start and knocks Edge out to the floor. As he pulls the guy with hair back inside though, Edge guillotines him down onto the top rope to get himself a breather. A chop puts Edge right back down though but he uses some speed to avoid the monster. That lasts all of a handful of seconds though as Big Show chops him right back down. All Big Show so far.

Show pounds him down again as Striker talks about how big Wrestlemania will be for Edge. Off to a chinlock by the big man which doesn’t last long. There’s a slam on Edge but a Vader Bomb misses, giving Edge a breather. Show charges into some boots in the corner and a middle rope bulldog gets two. Edge counters the chokeslam into a sloppy DDT and the spear gets the pin on Big Show.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but man alive was it dull. After last week it was pretty clear where this was going, but it was basically five minutes of Edge getting beaten up then hitting two moves in a row for the pin. The match was nothing to see at all and was more or less there so the show could have a main event.The problem here isn’t that the match is bad. It’s that the match is boring.

Post match Jericho runs in and gets speared down again.

Overall Rating: C-. This show came and went and that’s all there is to it. It wasn’t good and it only held my interest to a degree. Now to be fair, almost all of Wrestlemania is set by this point, so it’s not like there’s going to be anything significant before then, but it wouldn’t kill them to come up with something a bit more entertaining than this. Not a bad show, but pretty uninteresting.

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