Smackdown
Date: March 8, 2013
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We continue to move closer to Wrestlemania with this stop in Albany. The main event tonight is the match that the fans picked last week with Alberto Del Rio facing Dolph Ziggler although not for the title. Other than that we’re likely to see some more development in Sheamus/Orton/Big Show vs. Shield in a story that started last week. Also I’m sure Swagger and Colter will be here. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic to Paul Bearer. Very nice.

The opening video shows the end of last week’s show with Orton and Sheamus being ready to fight Shield before Big Show gave them a surprise hand. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Big Show.

Here are Swagger and Colter to start things off. Swagger introduces Colter, who wants the crowd to admit that they all think like him. Everyone should be able to see what’s wrong with America, but everyone else is too afraid to do something about it. Colter asks how many people know someone who has lost a job to someone who has snuck across the border and will work for a lower wage. He talks about writing a new bill of rights for the citizens because they’ve had enough of this and if you don’t like it that’s too bad.

This brings out Alberto and Ricardo with the champion saying that he’s got proof of what Colter and Swagger really think America is about. We get a video of Ricardo dressed as Colter and Alberto portraying Swagger. Ricardolter says the real threat to America is Mexican food, because real American bellies can’t take those kinds of beans and spices. Real Americans love pizza and French fries you see. Swaggerto wants to go get a pizza but he isn’t allowed to because he has to say his catchphrase first. Not bad.

3MB vs. HELL NO

Before the match we see 3MB getting beaten up by Tensai/Brodus Clay/Honky Tonk Man. This is non-title and it’s Slater and McIntyre for 3MB. Kane and McIntyre start things off with both guys getting in a shot to the face before it’s off to Slater. Kane elbows him down and Bryan gets a tag in. Bryan sends Heath to the floor with a hurricanrana but misses the knee off the apron. McIntyre gets in a shot to the head of Bryan and the band takes over.

Drew pounds away in the corner as 3MB makes some quick tags in and out. McIntyre stays in for a bit and is caught in a belly to back suplex from Daniel, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. Slater comes in as well and is immediately run over by the monster. A low dropkick keeps Slater down as does an uppercut which gets two. There’s the side slam for good measure but a Jinder Mahal distraction lets Slater stay out of the chokeslam. Bryan tags himself in and counters a rollup attempt into the NO Lock on Slater for the submission at 3:52.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as HELL NO continues to roll along while having no challengers in sight. There’s no one for them to fight at the moment and they aren’t having as many problems as they had before, so what is there to be interested about with them right now? They aren’t really even funny together anymore.

We hear about Natalya and Alicia Fox going to Rwanda on a charity trip for malaria relief.

Ziggler talks about how the fans voted him in to face Del Rio because they want to see the most show stealing match in Smackdown history. It’s also about the MITB case because history will be made tonight.

Ryback is on the way to the ring for a match when he sees Mark Henry. They stare each other down again but nothing happens.

Brad Maddox has joined the commentary booth.

We see HHH’s challenge to Brock Lesnar from Raw.

Damien Sandow is in the ring saying that tonight he’s facing the brute that Darwin’s theory of evolution forgot. If he’s hungry, he should feed himself with the arts.

Ryback vs. Damien Sandow

Ryback takes him into the corner to start before throwing Sandow across the ring. Sandow rolls to the floor for only a few seconds before Ryback throws him back in. Damien gets in one shot but sees Ryback glaring at him, sending him running away. Back in again and Sandow gets in a few shots to the back to take over.

Some knees to the ribs slow Ryback down as Maddox thinks Cole is his employee. Off to a chinlock by Damien but Ryback quickly breaks free and elbows him down. A backdrop puts Damien down again as Maddox thinks Ryback is cheating somehow. The Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin on Sandow at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another squash here as Sandow’s offense seemed to annoy Ryback more than hurt him. That’s a good sign though as Ryback is starting to string together some victories after the disastrous winter that he just got done with. The fans still seem to like him though and that’s a good sign for the monster.

We get a clip from after Raw went off the air where the Shield attacked Big Show and actually managed the hit him with the TripleBomb.

Big Show says he’ll fight anyone that gets in his way and knock them out.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here again. Brad applauds himself for signing off on this match despite having nothing to do with it. If he wasn’t so worthless I might say I like him a bit. Ziggler shoves him into the corner to start and hits a Stinger Splash before choking away a bit. Langston adds in a shot of his own so Ricardo hits him with a towel. Langston goes after Rodriguez so Ricardo picks up the bucket and throws some water, which hits AJ by mistake. AJ chases Ricardo around but gets caught by Big E., earning the two of them an ejection. The match has basically stopped during this whole scene.

We take a break and come back with Dolph getting two off an elbow drop. Off to a chinlock by Ziggler for a bit but Del Rio comes back with a sunset flip for two. Swagger and Colter are watching in the back. Off to another chinlock with a body scissors by Ziggler which doesn’t last long again. Del Rio launches Dolph into the air before putting him on the top rope for a reverse superplex. It stuns both guys though so they stand up for a slugout.

Alberto takes over again with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick for two. Ziggler is sent into the corner but he fights out of the Backstabber, only to be caught in the second attempt, getting two for Del Rio. Josh brings up a good point on commentary: where is Booker? He’s barely been around in the last few weeks.

Alberto goes up but jumps into a dropkick which only gets two for Dolph. A German suplex gets a near fall on Ziggler but he comes back with a tornado DDT for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a rollup but the second attempt gets the submission from Dolph at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: B-. This started off stupid with all of the comedy antics but it picked up by the end. The problem here though is the usual: Ziggler loses yet again, despite probably cashing in soon. I know I’ve been saying that for awhile now but he has until July, which is a lot closer than it sounds. I hope he loses at this point though, because it would make the title look weak otherwise.

In the back, Bryan makes fun of AJ for being soaked and looking like a Shetland pony. She doesn’t care because soon enough she’ll be with the World Heavyweight Champion. Bryan reminds her that when they were together, he was world champion. AJ says he lost it in 18 seconds, but Bryan says with Ziggler, AJ should be used to stuff lasting 18 seconds.

Mark Henry vs. Yoshi Tatsu

This is exactly what you would expect with Henry winning in 39 seconds via the World’s Strongest Slam.

We get Donald Trump’s Hall of Fame video.

Sheamus says Big Show shouldn’t blame him for what Shield did to him on Raw. It doesn’t surprise him though because nothing Big Show does is his fault. It’s not his fault that his gear smells because he never washes it or that people think he’s Shrek when he goes to Universal Studios. It won’t be his fault either when Sheamus kicks his head off later tonight.

We go back to Raw to see Rock and Cena’s confrontation.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina Snuka

Layla is at ringside. Non-title again here and Kaitlyn starts fast with a backdrop. Cole gets sent face first into the ropes which sends her out to the floor. Layla gets knocked down on the floor so she tries to get in, allowing Tamina to hit a Samoan Drop on Kaitlyn for the pin at 1:24.

Sandow and Rhodes are watching in the back. Damien wants to talk strategy for their match on Monday but Rhodes wants to talk about Kaitlyn. Sandow thinks she’s a good wrestler but Rhodes means as a woman. Damien thinks she’s a success given how bad her genetic makeup is. These two still have decent chemistry together.

Fandango debuts tonight….allegedly.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango

No match again as Fandango doesn’t like how Lillian pronounces his name. Fandango calls her Jillian.

Booker and Teddy are in the back and don’t know what to think of what they just saw. Booker sends Teddy to tell Fandango that he has to perform the next time he’s told to.

We get a video from Raw, summarizing that Undertaker faces Punk at Wrestlemania.

Colter and Swagger video on speaking English.

Sheamus vs. Big Show

Show tries his chop in the corner but Sheamus avoids it and pounds away at the giant. A headbutt puts Sheamus down though and Show pounds away in the corner. Show spears him down to the floor where Sheamus is chopped in the chest. As they come back in, Sheamus gets in some shots to the chest, only to be launched into the timekeeper’s area as we take a break.

Back with Big Show holding a nerve hold followed by a side slam for two. Big Show goes up for his Vader Bomb but Sheamus pulls him down. Show escapes again and hits the falling backwards powerbomb for two. We head to the corner for a long series of chops by Big Show before he grabs Sheamus by the beard. Sheamus fights back with shoulders blocks in the middle of the ring as well as in the corner before clotheslining Big Show down.

Sheamus goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. He counters with a DDT for two though and both guys are down. Big Show blocks White Noise but can’t block it twice in a row, allowing Sheamus to plant him with it. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but Big Show rolls to the floor. The Irishman hits a clothesline off the apron to put Show down again and we head back inside. As Show is on the apron though it’s a Brogue Kick to put him down again. Here’s Shield though and we’ll say the match is thrown out at 7:00 shown of 10:30.

Rating: C. This was their usual hard hitting brawl but the match wasn’t flowing as well as it usually does. It was more like a collection of moves instead a well built match like they had at Hell in a Cell or one of their later fights. To be fair though this is just a Smackdown match with a run-in finish so it’s not like they needed to make it as good as they had before.

With Sheamus surrounded, here’s Orton to even the odds a little bit. The numbers catch up with them though until Big Show gets up and cleans house almost on his own. The Shield runs away and Big Show knocks out Sheamus, onlly to walk into an RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a great episode. They’re definitely in build mode for Wrestlemania, but there are still some holes with no matches. It’s clear that Ryback is fighting Henry and the six man is going to happen as well as the world title, but stuff like Ziggler and the tag champions aren’t clear yet. With nothing coming up for them yet, it’s kind of dull watching them have the same seemingly meaningless matches that we’ve watched them have for months.

Results

HELL NO b. 3MB – NO Lock to Slater

Ryback b. Damien Sandow – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Cross Armbreaker

Mark Henry b. Yoshi Tatsu – World’s Strongest Slam

Tamina Snuka b. Kaitlyn – Samoan Drop

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 20, 2006
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to the land of requests here which means I have no idea why I’m watching this. We’re at the go home show for Survivor Series which means things are pretty boring right now. There are some Survivor Series matches at the PPV with the main one being Team Cena vs. Team Big Show, even though Big Show is an ECW guy at this point. As usual I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

Here’s Team Cena for Sunday to open the show. That would be captain Cena, RVD, Sabu, Lashley and Kane which is hit and miss to say the least. Cena cuts to the chase and says that he wants to get Survivor Series going tonight, so get out here Big Show and company. Instead it’s Rated RKO along with Johnny Nitro (Morrison), Gregory Helms and Mike Knox with the captains bragging about beating Flair/Piper for the titles recently. You know, like any good heels would do.

As Orton brags about Morriso winning the IC Title from Jeff Hardy later tonight, here are Flair and his fellow legends (minus Piper, who thankfully had a concussion last week. When he was in the hospital getting checked out, they found cancer in him, which was previously undetected. He was saved in time because of said concussion) to say that beating up some legends doesn’t mean much. Uh…..Ric……

Thankfully before Naitch can say anything else that stupid, here’s the Spirit Squad (giving us about 20 people in this segment) to make fun of the old guys even more. This coming from a bunch of male cheerleaders in bright green uniforms. Team DX (Shawn, HHH, Punk, Hardys) interrupt now as this is getting ridiculous.

They want to fight, so here’s Team Big Show (Show, Umaga, Finlay, MVP and Test, bringing the head count to twenty nine people) to say they’re better than anyone else out here. Cena is like screw it let’s do it right now, but Vince pops up to reach the Royal Rumble level. Tonight it’s an eight man tag which is the only logical move here.

Sabu vs. Umaga

This is a Survivor Series preview for Team Cena vs. Team Big Show. Umaga is an undefeated monster at this point and takes over quickly to start. He throws Sabu around to start and pounds away in the corner before scaring the referee away. Sabu is knocked to the floor and sent into the barricade for good measure. Back in and Sabu gets in some right hands but gets superkicked down for his troubles. Umaga misses a charge in the corner and a springboard leg lariat staggers the monster. A springboard tornado DDT has limited effect though and the Samoan Spike ends Sabu quick. Total squash.

Here’s Torrie in the ring to throw out some shirts but Chris Masters interrupts. He makes some unwanted advances on her until Carlito makes the save. That goes badly for the guy with the insane hair (Carlito) as he’s put in the Masterlock. Jerry Lawler makes the save, presumably setting up a future match in Memphis.

Nitro says he’ll win the title tonight.

Flair is making out with Candace Michelle when the Spirit Squad comes up. Ron Simmons is the punchline as expected.

Jeff gives the referee the title for the ladder match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Ladder match with Jeff defending in case you’re stupid like that. The fans are all behind Hardy as they lock up to start. Johnny bails to the floor but comes back in with some uppercuts to take over. The Whisper in the Wind puts Nitro back down but Nitro comes back with a facebuster. There’s the screech from Melina and Nitro gets the ladder. Before it can be put inside though Jeff hits a baseball slide to take him out. A big dive takes out Nitro and the ladder as we take a break.

Back with Jeff loading up the ladder in the ring, only to have Nitro shoving him down and into the ropes. Jeff gets back up and rams Nitro face first into the ladder before going up and blocking a superplex off the ladder. Jeff loads up something off the top of the ladder but gets crotched on the top rope instead. Nitro loads up the ladder but Jeff comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take the ladder and Nitro down at the same time.

Nitro comes back with a catapult but launches Jeff onto the ladder for no apparent reason, causing a fight on top of said ladder. In a pretty awesome move, Johnny jumps off the ladder and dropkicks Jeff on the way down, sending both guys crashing down to the mat. With nothing else to do, Nitro throws the ladder at Hardy in the corner to crush him again. Johnny goes a climbing but Jeff makes an easy stop. A slam on the ladder keeps Nitro down but Jeff’s Swanton attempt only hits ladder.

Johnny throws the ladder at Jeff’s head and dropkicks him down but can’t follow up. Jeff’s back is whipped hard into the corner, allowing Nitro to bring in the big ladder. It gets driven into the champion’s ribs before being set up in the middle of the ring. Actually never mind as Nitro moves it over to the corner instead. Hardy comes back and sends him into the big ladder before climbing up the regular one. They both climb up, resulting in a sunset bomb to knock Nitro silly. A legdrop off the ladder keeps Nitro down and Hardy puts the ladder over him before climbing up to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was more about the brutality of the spots instead of the drama and that’s definitely an acceptable way to go. It’s not on the, pardon the pun, highest rung of the ladder match ladder, but for a free one on TV, there isn’t much to complain about on this one. Hardy doing his stunt show was a tried and true idea and it worked here fine.

Dusty Rhodes is ready for the Spirit Squad on Sunday as well as tonight. The liver quiver line is good most of the time.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Nicky

That would be Dolph Ziggler for you new people. Nicky is on his own here without the Squad. They lock up to start and Dusty takes him into the corner for the ultra rare clean break. They do the same thing with the roles reversed but Nicky tries to fire off a right hand in the corner. Dusty loads up the Bionic Elbow but the future showoff runs away. Nothing of note happens for a bit as they stare at each other to fill in time for the old man. Nicky pokes him in the eye a few times and goes after the knee, only to get sent out to the floor with ease. Back in and Nicky jumps into some right hands before the Elbow ends him.

Rating: F. What in the world are you expecting here? Dusty was 61 here and still the better of the two out there.

Rated RKO is in the back with Lita when Maria pops in. Lita leaves as Maria is all bubbly while asking if Rated RKO can win tonight and on Sunday. Before Edge can answer we hear commotion which the champions go to investigate. Cryme Tyme is making noise for some reason and an argument ensues. Edge says he knows black people because he’s Canadian. The champs leave so Maria gets to watch See No Evil with Cryme Tyme. Sweet goodness she was gorgeous. Total waste of three minutes.

Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. Apparently Lita has asked for a stipulation for this, so Mickie is blindfolded. Apparently last week Mickie was shackled and the week before that she had an arm tied behind her back. Total squash here with Lita hitting a fast DDT and the moonsault for the pin. Ok then.

Post match Lita goes on a rant about how important she is to the division and how awesome she is. She says she’s (legitimately) retiring on Sunday after the title match between these two which wasn’t that well known coming into this.

Video on Batista vs. Booker T which would be one of the worst PPV main events ever.

John Cena/D-Generation X/Ric Flair vs. Rated-RKO/Big Show/Kenny

All captains here which isn’t a bad idea. During the heel entrance we get the PPV run down. Rated-RKO are tag champions, Show is ECW Champion and Cena is WWE Champion. Everyone jumps on Cena to start and is triple teamed before DX is out here. Here comes the cavalry though and house is cleaned. Edge is left alone against all four good guys and it’s time for a lot of shots to his Canadian head. Shawn adds a top rope elbow for good measure.

Big Show pulls Edge away from Sweet Chin Music before running over all of the guys guys with headbutts. Show loads up a double chokeslam on DX but Flair hits him low. DX hits him low too and we take a break. Apparently the match officially started during the break so all of that was pre-match stuff. We come back with Shawn in trouble due to Edge stomping away before it’s off to Kenny.

Orton comes in for the still boring Garvin Stomp and it’s back to Big Show. The giant kicks him down and drops a leg for two as HHH makes the save. Back to Kenny for a shot off the top for two before Edge gets another tag. After a quick bow and arrow hold it’s back to Orton who takes forever loading up the RKO. Shawn uses the long delay to counter and it’s hot tag to Cena who gets to beat up Kenny. There’s the Shuffle but Big Show breaks up the FU. Show beats up everyone in sight but Cena gets out of a chokeslam. A superkick puts Show on the floor and the FU ends Kenny for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here but the point of it was to preview the matches on Sunday. That being said, it’s pretty hard to get excited over something like Kenny vs. John Cena, despite the roll that Cena was on at this point. This was also pretty short and not long enough to get anywhere, but that’s the norm for a match with this many people involved.

Post match all thirty people in the elimination matches on Sunday run in for the huge brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Other than the ladder match, this was a dull show. None of the guys seemed particularly interested in the show tonight and Survivor Series wound up sucking just the same. None of the matches they built up tonight are of any interest to me and I don’t think many other people cared either. Nothing to see here but the ladder match was good stuff.

Here’s Survivor Series if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/12/survivor-series-count-up-2012-redo-2006-man-this-year-sucked/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 6, 2000
Location: Springfield Civic Center, Springfield, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another On This Day as we approach Wrestlemania. I did the show before this and you can check that out in the On This Day section for February 27. Anyway the main story is that Rock wants to be in the main event of Wrestlemania but Shane screwed him out of his chance last week. Wrestlemania is in less than a month so Rock has to hurry to get there on time. Let’s get to it.

We open with what else but a recap of the battle of the McMahon siblings. On Smackdown it was Rock/Rikishi vs. Big Show/HHH but Show accidentally hit HHH with a chair, allowing Rock to pin the world champion. Shane and Stephanie started arguing post match but HHH saved his wife from any potential danger.

Here are Shane and Big Show to open things up. Shane shows us a clip of Show hitting HHH, asking us to figure out if it was an accident or not. Shane seems to think it’s accidental but HHH shoving him down certainly wasn’t an accident. Shane goes on a rant about how HHH made it personal by running Vince off and turning his sister into a cheap sl**. McMahon makes HHH vs. Rikishi in a Wrestlemania warm up match, but that brings out the Game himself along with his wife.

HHH says that he and Shane are brothers so they need to get along. He has to pause for a SL** chant at Stephanie before talking about how Wrestlemania is the Biggest Show of the year. At Wrestlemania, HHH is going to prove that Big Show isn’t in his league. Stephanie, in her eternally high pitched voice, makes Kane vs. Big Show to open the show. As for the mean comment, Stephanie slaps the tar out of Shane. Well that sums it up well enough I guess.

Earlier today the Mean Street Posse delivered room service to Crash Holly and brought referee Tim White with him. A Hardcore Title broke out in the hotel room but the Posse couldn’t pin Crash down on a bed against his will and take something from him. The Posse hit each other with lamps by mistake, allowing Crash to escape.

Kane vs. Big Show

It’s a brawl to start with Kane winning a brief slugout before hitting an enziguri to stagger Big Show. Shane low bridges Kane but the masked man lands on his feet of course. The distraction lets Show send Kane HARD into the steps though as HHH is watching in the back. Back in and Show pounds away in the corner but Kane comes back with an uppercut. HHH and Stephanie are still watching. A side slam puts Kane down but Show misses an elbow drop. Kane hits a DDT to drop Show and there’s the top rope clothesline for no cover. They both load up chokeslams but here’s Rock for a Rock Bottom on Big Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but again the right move was to keep things moving fast. Big Show and Kane just do not work well together and they never have. The match was there for Rock to run in though and that Rock Bottom looked good. Rock always has had surprising strength. Decent enough all things considered.

Kane chokeslams Show post match.

Mae Young insists that she’s coming out with Henry tonight despite having a hand last week.

The APA do a Pulp Fiction driving scene parody to establish that they’re open for business now. Why? “Because we need beer money.”

Mark Henry vs. D-Von Dudley

D-Von charges in but gets beaten down by Henry for his efforts. Mae and Bubba get on the apron as D-Von takes over, only to have Mark pull Bubba in. There’s a Bronco Buster to Bubba and a powerslam for D-Von for the pin. Short and seemingly worthless.

Post match the Dudleys hit a good looking 3D on Henry before looking at Mae. In a scene that would get them thrown off TV in a heartbeat today, Mae is powerbombed off the middle rope through a table. Bubba’s trance is still cool looking.

Road Dogg/X-Pac vs. Too Cool

Scotty and Pac get things going and the fans think X-Pac sucks. Scotty is flipped around and winds up dancing as a result. Off to Grandmaster for more dancing followed by a hip toss to send Pac to the floor. Roadie comes in and is sent down as well before Sexay hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Too Cool hits a double elbow on Roadie but he pops back up and throws Scotty to the floor.

X-Pac sends him into the steps and there’s a spin kick to take Scotty down again. Back in and Hotty rams DX’s heads together before it’s back to Grandmaster. Everything breaks down and Grandmaster hits what we would call the Skull Crushing Finale on Road Dogg to set up the Worm. A flapjack puts X-Pac down but Tori crotches Sexay to break up the Hip Hop Drop. Not that it matters though as here’s Kane for a piece of X-Pac and the DQ.

Rating: C. Better match than I was expecting here as Too Cool was on one heck of a roll at this point. The tag division was showing signs of actually being alive at this point as there were several decent to good teams running around. The division got hot as a result, but it reached unthinkable heights with the advent of triple ladder matches with tables and chairs on the side.

Post match Kane beats up Roadie as well.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is defending here but doesn’t like the idea of facing a has been like Jericho. Cue the Canadian who makes fun of Angle for living with his mom and tells said mom to put down the whiskey and watch her son get a beating. I believe this is the debut of the Kirk Angel moniker. They speed things up to start while I believe botching a leapfrog spot with Jericho hitting an elbow instead of ducking underneath but it looked ok.

The champion comes back with a hot shot before pounding away in the corner, only to have Jericho do the exact same thing. Well if you’re going to copy someone, copy an Olympian. Angle gets up a boot in the corner to stop a charging Jericho. Chris tries the flying forearm but hits the referee by mistake. There’s the Lionsault but there’s no referee meaning no new champion. Angle loads up a title belt shot but gets caught in the Walls for his efforts. Jericho pulls it to the middle of the ring but…..BOB BACKLUND comes in for a crossface chickenwing on Jericho for the DQ.

Rating: C+. It’s Angle vs. Jericho so you know it’s going to be good. This was unfortunately short but they would get a lot more time and a lot more Benoit at Wrestlemania, making for an awesome match. These guys would dominate the midcard for over a year and then move up to the main event soon after that. Good stuff here but short.

HHH vs. Rikishi

Non-title of course. Rikishi has a bad ankle coming into this. A quick Pedigree attempt is countered but Rikishi can’t sit on HHH’s chest just yet. Instead is an avalanche in the corner to put HHH down and there’s the Stinkface. A Stephanie distraction allows for a low blow to stop Rikishi dead. Rikishi is sent shoulder first into the post so HHH can stomp and choke away back inside. A facebuster puts Rikishi down because HHH doesn’t follow his racial stereotypes. HHH finally wakes up and goes after the BIG FREAKING CAST on Rikishi’s leg. He pounds away in the corner but walks into a Samoan Drop to give the fat man a breather. Rikishi knocks him into the corner but Stephanie slides in a chair. A blast to the fat man’s back is good for the DQ and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Not much here as yet again it’s to set up the post match stuff. Rikishi would go on to solid success over the rest of the year, but at the end of the day he was a dancing Samoan in a thong and there’s a limit on how far you can take that. The match was ok enough but the ankle stuff took way too long to get to. Also what is with all the DQ’s tonight?

Post match the Rock comes out and hits a Rock Bottom on HHH to set up the Banzai from Rikishi. Too Cool and Rikishi do some dancing.

Promo for Rock being on Saturday Night Live in a few weeks to promote Wrestlemania.

Big Show and Shane go to talk to HHH about something.

Matt Hardy vs. Steve Blackman

This would still be the Head Cheese period for Blackman so Snow wants an army of midgets carrying platters of cheese during the entrance. Blackman threatens the production guy with violence if any of that happens. To show you how confusing the Hardys were back in the day, Jeff is announced as the guy in the match but it’s Matt in there instead. I couldn’t remember which was which either at this point. Blackman kicks Matt down to start and blocks the tornado DDT out of the corner.

A quick legdrop by Matt gets two as the fans are dead for this. Blackman gets sent to the floor and there’s a big dive to take him out. Matt heads to the apron, only to get caught in a kind of gutbuster, sending him face first into the steps. Back inside Blackman poses some more and hits a backbreaker, only to jump into a boot to the face. A DDT gets two for Matt but the Twist of Fate is countered into a German suplex by Blackman for two. Jeff and Snow get in a fight on the floor as Blackman goes up for a kick to the chest for the pin.

Rating: D. I have no idea why this match got five minutes but it didn’t work at all. This kept going and going before it ever got anywhere close to going anywhere. The Hardys were a good bit away from being what they would become yet while Head Cheese never quite got anything going. The fans were into them though so I guess there’s that.

Shane and Big Show convince HHH to make Rock vs. Benoit in a cage match. Didn’t Shane have match making powers an hour and a half ago? Why did he need HHH and Stephanie?

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Edge and Christian

This was during the brief period where Terri managed Edge and Christian so she’s on commentary here. Edge gets double teamed to start but he fires off a faceplant to stop Saturn. Off to Christian for a double hiptoss by the Canadians. It’s back to Edge who has his knee taken out by Saturn with a chop block. Saturn works over the knees as Terri rambles on about how awesome she is. Dean comes in to crank on the leg a bit before cannonballing down onto it.

Edge comes back with an enziguri to take Malenko down and there’s the double tag to bring in Christian vs. Saturn. JR is getting sick of Terri and I can’t blame him a bit. Thankfully she gets up to watch as everything breaks down, only to get knocked down by Edge as Dean punches him. An Eddie Guerrero distraction lets the Radicalz go High/Low on Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was acceptable but DEAR GOODNESS was Terri annoying. Thankfully Edge and Christian got away from her soon after this once the brass figured out the truth about Terri: no one cared about her at all. Besides, Trish Stratus would be debuting in less than two weeks and she blew Terri out of the water in the looks department so there was no real need for Terri to be around anymore.

Hardcore Title: Crash Holly vs. Viscera

The challenging Viscera throws Crash around to start and we head into the crowd very quickly. Crash runs to the back but gets caught again and whipped into whatever Viscera can find. They wind up at the APA office where Crash gets in a low blow. Viscera stumbles into the card table so the APA lays him out, giving Crash the fluke pin. Surprisingly enough, Viscera’s only Hardcore Title reign came in the battle royal at Wrestlemania. You would think he would be a natural fit for that belt.

We look at Mae getting beaten up earlier.

Rock thinks HHH and Stephanie are nuts if they think the cage match tonight gets rid of their problems.

Mark Henry goes after the Dudleys but gets beaten down.

The Rock vs. Chris Benoit

Cage match here and I think it’s escape only for a change. They slug it out to start with Benoit pounding away into the corner. A big clothesline puts Benoit down but Rock can’t escape. Benoit suplexes Rock down but there’s a hard elbow from Rock to come back. Benoit comes back as Shane and Big Show come out for a closer look. Chris pounds away in the corner but gets backdropped into the cage to shift the momentum again.

Rock gets crotched as he tries to get out and here are HHH and Stephanie. Another suplex puts Rock down but he comes back with right hands and choking. Benoit suplexes him again to put Rock down but he crotches himself trying to get down. Rocky’s problem becomes apparent: Rock can’t escape because of who is waiting outside. Benoit fights back with chops, tying Rock up in the ropes in the process.

Rock escapes the ropes and avoids a charge before sending Benoit into the cage. Benoit goes up top for the Swan Dive but it knocks Benoit silly again. Rock stops him from escaping and hits the spinebuster, only to get caught in Rolling Germans from the Canadian. Rock escapes the third and grabs a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to put both guys down. The climb has to be slow though because of HHH and Benoit. They both climb the cage but Rock sits down and hits a wicked powerbomb to take him out. HHH tries to climb up and stop Rock but is punched down onto Big Show, allowing Rock to escape for the win.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work all that well for me. As is the case with almost everything else associated with the main event at this point, this was overdone. I get the idea they were going for, but the match became all about Rock having to deal with HHH and Big Show instead of Benoit, who was made to look like an afterthought here.

Post match it’s a 3-1 beatdown and they get him back inside the cage. HHH gets a chair and the fans want Rikishi. Rock gets sent into the cage but HHH’s chair shot hits Big Show instead. HHH gets punched down as Shane runs out of the cage to escape. Rock stands on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This didn’t do it for me all that well. I’ll give them this though: the reaction when Rock gets into the main event of Wrestlemania is going to be through the moon. Other than that though, the show isn’t really clicking all that well. That would be the case at Wrestlemania as well, with only the main event and two other matches having any kind of interest whatsoever. This didn’t work all that well but with the amount of wrestling on it, there isn’t much to complain about.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 5, 2010
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

I did this show last week for On This Day so here’s kind of a sequel I guess. We’re still heading towards Wrestlemania with Jericho defending against Edge so there’s your main focus. Other than that though we need to fill in the rest of the card, which means we’ve got some more developing to do tonight. I’m not sure what to expect out of tonight’s show and that’s the way I like it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Edge and Jericho’s segment from last week with Edge spearing Jericho mere seconds after Jericho said that would never happen again.

Theme song opens us up.

It’s Edge vs. Big Show in the main event.

Speaking of Edge, here he is to open the show. He talks about how we’re getting close to Wrestlemania and he’s a little bit scared. Jericho has been out here for weeks talking about how he’s the best in the world and how he’s going to hurt Edge at Wrestlemania. However, no matter how many times Jericho says that, he keeps getting speared. At Wrestlemania, the same thing is going to happen: Jericho is going to get speared. This brings out Big Show with something of his own to say.

Edge calls this a depressing surprise and thinks it’s because Edge beat up Miz last week. Tonight Big Show will get speared too, but Big Show says that’s not the only reason why he’s there. Tonight Show and Miz are also finding out who gets the title shot at Wrestlemania.

Big Show talks about being dominant, so Edge worries that Big Show will eat him. We get the “I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast” verbatim from Happy Gilmore to show how original the writing team is. Edge makes fun of Big Show’s breath and promises to spear him later tonight. Show charges at Edge and gets low bridged to the floor. Serves him right.

Teddy Long is in the back reading WWE Magazine when Drew McIntyre comes in. He doesn’t like the idea that fans think he lost to Kane last week, so he glares at Teddy. Long breaks down again and says the record book shows that Drew is still undefeated. Kane is still in the MITB match though. Drew gets another chance to qualify next though, against Matt Hardy.

Wrestlemania ad.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre

During the entrance we see Drew losing last week. Striker: “This is the WWE. We don’t pretend things didn’t happen.” Ladies and gentlemen, your WOW THEY REALLY JUST SAID THAT line of the year. Matt has his NXT rookie Justin Gabriel with him. The fans are completely behind Hardy here as he grabs a headlock to start things off. McIntyre elbows him down for two but Matt gets two of his own off a rollup. A clothesline puts Drew on the floor but he comes back by dropping Hardy ribs first onto the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Drew holding Matt in a chinlock which is quickly broken. A neckbreaker gets two on Hardy as does a northern lights suplex. Back to a modified chinlock with an arm trap but Matt fights out. He goes up but has to fight off a Drew superplex attempt. With Drew knocked down, there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist of Fate is countered into a Futureshock DDT attempt, but Matt reverses into a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. I never was a big fan of McIntyre and Hardy was on pure fumes at this point. He would be gone soon after this, I believe during the post Wrestlemania European tour. The match was nothing special and naturally Drew would get the loss expunged from his record yet again because that’s his thing at the time.

Post match Drew yells at Striker, saying that he’ll be at Wrestlemania no matter what.

In the back, a character that no one cared about at all named Slam Master J (Jesse from Jesse and Festus), talks to John Morrison about Parkour. R-Truth comes in with David Otunga, his NXT Rookie. Truth and Otunga had been having problems lately but apparently they’re ok now. Morrison and Truth have a chance to get a tag title shot at Wrestlemania tonight so they need to work together. They discuss team names like Black Magic and the White Shadow or Rock and Rap. Truth suggests “The Unified Tag Team Champions” which pleases Truth.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Shelton runs him over to start and POINTS AT THE SIGN! Ziggler grabs a quick sleeper but Shelton jawbreaks his way out. A Stinger Splash misses Dolph in the corner though and Ziggy stomps away. Ziggler hits a dropkick for two and it’s off to the chinlock again. A neckbreaker gets two for Dolph as does a jumping elbow.

Shelton counters a monkey flip by landing on his feet and clotheslining Ziggler down. A German suplex gets two for Benjamin but he gets caught in a sleeper. That gets nowhere so Shelton sends him into the corner and tries Paydirt (the jumping Downward Spiral) but Ziggler falls the wrong way, making it like a jumping clothesline or punch. Either way it gets Shelton the pin.

Rating: D+. This just happened. Seriously that’s it. Two guys had a wrestling match with nothing significant going on and a bad ending. What else are you expecting me to grade it as? Ziggler was almost a year from being anything resembling good and Shelton was WAY below what he used to be, but he could jump so he kept getting pushed. Nothing to see here and it left a bad taste in my mouth if that makes sense.

Cena says don’t try this.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Ezekiel Jackson

I smell a squash. Yep I’m right as this lasts about a minute and is your paint by numbers squash: power moves, quick Yang comeback, release Rock Bottom by Jackson for the pin.

Rey’s daughter is here and Rey gives her a Mysterio action figure. Tiffany, the ECW Gm, is going to keep an eye on her while Rey has a match. The daughter crosses him for protection which is cool.

Video on Taker vs. HBK II at Wrestlemania set to Ain’t No Grave by Johnny Cash.

Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio

Before the match, Gallows’ leader CM Punk talks about bad parents who let their kids watch their “superhero” Rey Mysterio. Apparently the fans are all cowards just like Mysterio, because Rey won’t face Punk like a man. Rey cost him a chance to win three straight MITBs and now it’s time for revenge. Punk gets in Gallows’ face and says he’s fighting for an entire society. Gallows pounds away to start so Rey goes after his legs.

A belly to back suplex puts Rey right back down as does a flying shoulder. Darren Young, the NXT rookie of CM Punk, is watching in the back. Rey finally gets in some offense by sending Gallows out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Luke clotheslining Rey down for two and sending him to the apron. Rey is whipped into the post and Gallows is in full control. Back in and a slam gets two for Gallows as the match stays slow.

Off to a chinlock as the fans chant 619. Rey starts to fight up so Gallows hits a fallaway slam (Striker: “How about that Chico?”) for two but Rey avoids a charge in the corner, sending Gallows’ shoulder into the post. A springboard seated senton sets up a springboard cross body for two. Luke comes back with a clothesline but Rey counters what looks like a chokeslam into an X-Factor. He takes too long going up though and dives into an uppercut from Gallows for two.

Rey loads up a tornado DDT but stops halfway through, turning it into a guillotine choke. Gallows makes a rope but Rey immediately knocks him into 619 position. Punk’s chick Serena interferes though to block the 619, allowing Punk to get a breather. Gallows tries a powerbomb but Rey falls forward and gets a quick pin.

Rating: C-. Better match than the previous one but not great here either. Gallows, currently Doc in Aces and 8’s in TNA, is such a generic big guy that he makes it hard to care about him at all. This was all about building up Punk vs. Mysterio though and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was just kind of there.

Post match Punk tries a GTS but Rey escapes and kicks him in the knee.

Jericho wants Big Show to destroy Edge. Show says he’s going to do it but not for Jericho.

MVP says don’t try this.

We recap the HBK segment from Raw with him saying without beating Undertaker, there’s no reason for him to have a career anymore. HHH came out and told Shawn he knows Shawn can beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. DX proceeded to not win the tag titles that night because Undertaker distracted Shawn. Sheamus then ran in and beat up HHH.

John Morrison/R-Truth vs. Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

Winners get a title shot at Wrestlemania against ShowMiz. We get a quick recap of Truth and Otunga having issues on NXT to fill in time. The Hart Dynasty is Tyson Kidd/David Hart Smith/Natalya and Cryme Tyme is Shad Gaspar and JTG. The Dynasty might be heel here but I can’t remember exactly. Morrison and Shad start and this is one fall to a finish. It’s power vs. speed here as Striker talks about which team matches up best against the tag champions. A spinebuster puts Morrison down and we take a break.

Back with JTG holding Morrison in a chinlock before it’s back to Shad. Kidd tags himself in but almost immediately tags back out to Smith. Seems pointless but whatever. Smith does something I never remember seeing by rolling belly to belly suplexes for two. Morrison and Smith ram heads to put both guys down and there’s the double tag to give us Truth vs. Kidd.

Truth cleans house and kicks Kidd in the face for no cover. Shad and Smith go at it but Morrison hits a cross body to take all three of them to the floor. Tyson hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Truth but R- immediately comes back with the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here other than a fast match to give us some number one contenders. The title scene was its usual generic self at this point with two thrown together teams facing each other for the titles at Wrestlemania while regular teams like these two are left in the preshow. Eh then again it’s not like any of them mean anything so it’s fine.

The winners dance post match.

Laycool is in the back with Vickie and they suck up to each other a bit before making fun of Mickie James from last week when Michelle won the title. Vickie gets a Laycool t-shirt. Beth Phoenix comes up and scares Laycool away. Phoenix wants her title shot but Vickie says it’ll be on Vickie’s time.

We run down the Mania card.

Edge vs. Big Show

Big Show runs him over to start and knocks Edge out to the floor. As he pulls the guy with hair back inside though, Edge guillotines him down onto the top rope to get himself a breather. A chop puts Edge right back down though but he uses some speed to avoid the monster. That lasts all of a handful of seconds though as Big Show chops him right back down. All Big Show so far.

Show pounds him down again as Striker talks about how big Wrestlemania will be for Edge. Off to a chinlock by the big man which doesn’t last long. There’s a slam on Edge but a Vader Bomb misses, giving Edge a breather. Show charges into some boots in the corner and a middle rope bulldog gets two. Edge counters the chokeslam into a sloppy DDT and the spear gets the pin on Big Show.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but man alive was it dull. After last week it was pretty clear where this was going, but it was basically five minutes of Edge getting beaten up then hitting two moves in a row for the pin. The match was nothing to see at all and was more or less there so the show could have a main event.The problem here isn’t that the match is bad. It’s that the match is boring.

Post match Jericho runs in and gets speared down again.

Overall Rating: C-. This show came and went and that’s all there is to it. It wasn’t good and it only held my interest to a degree. Now to be fair, almost all of Wrestlemania is set by this point, so it’s not like there’s going to be anything significant before then, but it wouldn’t kill them to come up with something a bit more entertaining than this. Not a bad show, but pretty uninteresting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

He didn’t actually do anything, but there’s a fatal fourway tonight to determine his opponent.  It’ll either be Sheamus, Big Show, Orton or Punk (read as: Punk).

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 1999
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re just one week after Undertaker beat Austin for the title with the help of both McMahons and Austin broken heart due to Owen Hart passing away earlier in the night. Other than that it’s Rock vs. HHH because this is 1999 and what else is it going to be? This show was requested by someone that I don’t remember for reasons I don’t remember either. Oh wait apparently there’s a somewhat significant moment on here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin stunning everyone in sight in recent weeks.

Here’s Vince to open the show and looking like he wants to fight. He talks about how the Greater Power is here tonight and it doesn’t matter who it is. It might be Shawn Michaels, it might be one of the McMahons, it might be Jake Roberts, it might be the bartender from down the street. Vince wants a street fight with the Greater Power tonight so he calls out Shane for a fight. However he’ll sweeten the pot a bit further: if Shane will put up his 50% ownership of the company, Vince will do the same, making the fight winner take all.

This brings out Shane who immediately accepts the challenge, but disappoints Vince because he isn’t the Greater Power. However, he’ll bring out the Greater Power in just a few moments. Ok then.

We run down the card tonight: there’s a Lion’s Den match with Shamrock vs. Jeff Jarrett, the Acolytes defending the tag titles against the Brood, Debra defending against the monster Nicole Bass and of course that whole Greater Power deal.

Austin is in the back talking to someone in a limo.

Speaking of the Greater Power deal, it’s already time for it. Undertaker leads the Corporate Ministry (HHH, Chyna, Acolytes, Mideon, Viscera, Big Boss Man, Shane who isn’t present here and Paul Bearer) which is a pretty impressive army. Unertaker talks about assembling an army for the arrival of a power greater than himself. The Ministry and the Corporation merged to show what kind of power was at hand.

With that, the lights go dark and a man in a cloak comes to the ring. Everyone but Undertaker is kneeling in the ring. JR and King think it’s Shane, but as the hooded figure stands in the ring, Shane comes out through the curtain saying he told us it wasn’t him. Shane talks about what a mastermind the Greater Power is and how smart the Power is. Before we reveal the identity though, Shane wants Vince to be the one that unveils the Greater Power. Vince pops up on screen and says this is close enough for him.

The Greater Power pulls back his hood to reveal……Vince McMahon, saying that it was him all along and that every one of us bought it. Even his family bought the story and he blames Austin for causing all this. The entire plan (oh we’ll get to that later) was enacted to teach Austin a lesson: Vince will do anything he has to do in order to torment Austin. Vince thanks Shane, Undertaker, and everyone else involved with the Corporate Ministry….and here are Linda and Stephanie McMahon, Vince’s wife and daughter.

Stephanie wants to know how this could happen and Vince says it was just business. Linda says let’s talk business then. Vince sucks up to her but she says love has nothing to do with business. First of all, when Vince says that he and Shane both own 50% of the company, Vince is lying. Since there are four McMahons, they all own equal shares. Vince didn’t build this company on his own. That’s why this morning, there was a meeting of the board of directors. First and foremost, there are changes to the dress code. It’s now less formal, with more cutoff jeans. Also, some profanity and drinking on the job are now perfectly acceptable.

That’s not the biggest deal though. The real story is that Linda has stepped down as CEO of the company while picking a new CEO. That new CEO will have FULL authority to run this company as he sees fit. The new CEO: STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! COMPLETE WITH A TIE!!! The look on Vince’s face is absolutely hysterical as he is, in a word, absolutely STUNNED. Austin takes off the tie because he has a power finger instead of a power tie. There’s a middle finger for Vince before Austin talks about making a fast transition to power.

First and foremost, Austin WILL be getting a title shot in the near future and WILL be taking his title back. As for the next PPV, which is King of the Ring, it’s going to be Austin vs. Vince and Shane in a handicap match. Vince is fine with that but Austin doesn’t want to hear about that. As for tonight, it’s Shane vs. Kane and X-Pac in a handicap match. As for the remaining members of the Union, which would be Shamrock, Test and Big Show, they can pick any opponent they like.

Since HHH put out Mankind with a sledgehammer last week, there’s going to be a cast match with HHH vs. Rock. Since Rock’s arm is in a cast, we’re going to put HHH’s leg in a cast and have a one on one match. If anyone has a problem with any of that, come find Austin and if he’s not having too much beer, he’ll talk to you.

After a much needed break, Linda and Stephanie present Austin with a briefcase full of beer.

Ok so now that we’re about a third of the way done with the show, let’s recap for a second. For those of you unfamiliar with the story that led up to all this, here you are. Back in the late fall/winter, Undertaker started to get more and more “into his character”, which meant he was starting to become more and more demonic. This led to him starting to kidnap people and recruit the army that would become his Ministry of Darkness.

Undertaker’s plans were revealed as him wanting to own the WWF and run the company as he saw fit, but Vince was too busy fighting the war against Austin with his Corporation. Soon after that, Undertaker invaded Vince’s home and stole a teddy bear, which belonged to Stephanie, showing that Vince and his family weren’t safe anywhere. Also around this time, Undertaker began talking about serving a Higher Power. Vince began to crack under the pressure which became even more intense when Undertaker kidnapped Stephanie at the end of Backlash.

This resulted in the Black Wedding, where Stephanie appeared on Raw tied to an Undertaker symbol resembling a cross. Paul Bearer attempted to wed Stephanie to Undertaker, but Austin made the save because it was the right thing to do, not because of any care for Vince. THIS led us to Over the Edge, where Austin defended the title against Undertaker with both Vince and Shane as guest referees. Shane screwed Austin out of the title, which led us to tonight.

As you now know, Vince was the Greater Power all along, meaning that he terrorized his family, tormented himself (in a way), lied, cheated, acted like a crazy man, and cried on national television, all to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin. Now THOSE are the actions of a crazy man. Why do you ask?

BECAUSE VINCE ALREADY HAD THE TITLE OFF OF AUSTIN IN THE FIRST PLACE! Austin hadn’t been champion since September. Vince had his Corporate Champion in the Rock, he had Undertaker under his power, he apparently had Shane under his power, and Austin was the only target he had. Why in the world did he allow Undertaker and the Corporation to fight at Wrestlemania instead of focusing everything they had on stopping Austin from getting the title back?

On top of THAT, just looking at tonight, since Austin now has 50% power which gives him more than either Vince or Shane, why don’t they combine their shares into one so that they can balance out Austin? That all being said, the last half hour of this show was AMAZINGLY entertaining and back in 1999 this had me losing my mind watching it. However, much like Russo’s other master plan angles, it falls apart when you think about it for more than 15 seconds.

Overall Rating: …….oh wait we’ve got like an hour and fifteen minutes left don’t we?

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Gangrel/Edge

The Brood (Edge and Gangrel) were recently thrown out of the Corporate Ministry after Christian had told Shamrock where Stephanie was. The Acolytes won the belts last week from Kane and X-Pac thanks to interference by Shane. The champions run over their far smaller challengers to start until we get down to Bradshaw against Gangrel. Gangrel fires off what few shots he can but there’s too much Texas, allowing Bradshaw to hit the fallaway slam to take control.

Faarooq comes in for more of the same as he pounds away on the back of the vampire. Off to Edge who speeds things up a bit with clotheslines and spinwheel kicks. Not that it matters though as it’s back to a still weak (must be the garlic from catering) Gangrel who is distracted by the Hardys and their manager Michael Hayes on the stage. As Gangrel turns around it’s the Clothesline from Bradshaw to retain the titles.

Rating: D. This was short and sour like most matches from this point in time. The Acolytes would continue to dominate for awhile until losing the titles to the Hardys in a few weeks. The new champions would move on to feud with Edge and his new partner Christian, more or less redefining tag team wrestling for years to come.

Here’s what’s left of the Union (a stable of four guys that lasted a month) to receive their blank checks from Austin. Big Show does the smart thing and demands a title match with Undertaker TONIGHT. That gets the crowd going all over again. Shamrock is mad about what Vince did, so the match with Jarrett is out and now it’s Vince in the Lion’s Den against him. Oh dear.

This leaves Test, who says there’s only one person he wants to be in the ring with tonight: Stephanie McMahon. We cut to Vince and Shane in the back who PANIC. Stephanie is all of 22 at this point and looking beyond awkward at this point. Test ASKS HER OUT and she says yes, sending her father and brother into fits in the back. There’s a summer long angle for you.

HHH puts his cast on.

X-Pac/Kane vs. Shane McMahon

X-Pac starts and lets Shane get in a few free shots before taking him to the corner for a BIG beating. Shane runs to the floor but gets kicked in the face for being a coward. Cue the Mean Street Posse in Mankind masks to save Shane and throw the match out, but here are Patterson and Brisco to throw them into the ring for an X-Factor and a chokeslam. This was barely a “match”. Pete Gas gets a Bronco Buster and Rodney gets tombstoned.

Cole is in the back with Debra who wants to change the title match tonight to a bikini contest. If Nicole wins, she gets a title match next week. If Debra wins, Nicole has to leave the puppies alone. Yeah whatever.

HHH vs. The Rock

This is a cast match with HHH’s leg and Rock’s arm in casts. HHH broke the knee of Mankind and the arm of the Rock which is where Austin got the idea from. Rock has a good right arm here so he pounds HHH into the corner but HHH has no balance at all because of his cast. A DDT puts HHH down and it’s time for a chair. JR takes shots at WCW and there’s a chair to HHH’s back. There’s the Rock Bottom and the chair goes over HHH’s face for the People’s Elbow, but Undertaker comes in for the save. I’m guessing that’s a no contest. It’s Rock vs. Undertaker for the title at King of the Ring.

Undertaker tombstones Rock on the chair but Big Show chases Undertaker off.

Time for the bikini contest. What do you want me to say here? Debra is a decent looking woman and when Nicole Bass walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her. Debra wins in a landslide and Val Venis comes out to stand up for Nicole. He tells her to hit Jeff Jarrett with the guitar but gets laid out by an errant shot. Val wakes up and yells at Nicole, resulting in Bass dumping her. Val chases after her in a bizarre segment.

We get GTV (basically a hidden camera segment where a never named videographer (it was supposed to be Goldust I believe) would spy on people) of PMS making fun of various men. Nothing to see here.

Billy Gunn vs. Godfather

Apparently Billy hit Godfather with a chair on Heat for some reason. Godfather comes out all aggressive to start and punches Billy into the corner before hitting some knees to the ribs. The announcers talk about the PMS bit despite NOTHING BEING SAID. Godfather loads up the Ho Train but gets low bridged to the floor instead. During the ten count, Road Dogg, who has recently broken up with Billy, comes in and gives him a pumphandle sla. Godfather comes in and drops a leg for the fast pin. Just build for Dogg vs. Gunn, which wound up going nowhere because, amazingly enough, no one wanted to see them fight.

Droz vomits in the back.

Hardcore Title: Darren Drozdov vs. Al Snow

Snow is defending and they never even go into the ring. They immediately fight into the crowd and use whatever weapons just happen to be lying around, like chairs and trashcans because this is HARDCORE after all. They fight up to what looks like a sports bar in the arena and things start getting WACKY! I think you can figure it out from here: pool cues, chairs, drinks, a sculpture goes upside Droz’s head and Snow retains. Seriously, that’s the whole match.

Ken Shamrock vs. Vince McMahon

This is a Lion’s Den Match, which means they’re in a small cage next to the stage. On the way to the ring, Vince says he isn’t afraid. Vince gets in first and locks the cage door. Shamrock tries to get in but as he does, Jarrett comes up and blasts him with a chair, giving Vince the win by TKO. Again, seriously, that’s the whole match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Big Show

Man they’re booking tonight. Taker jumps the challenger in the corner before he even takes the belt off but Big Show clotheslines him down. A suplex puts Taker down again for two and there’s a HARD whip into the corner by Big Show. Taker is whipped into the corner and stomped down as this is almost all Big Show so far. Taker fights back with right hands but a single headbutt puts him right back down.

They both grab chokeslams but Taker uses a Paul Bearer distraction to kick Big Show low. A flying clothesline puts Big Show down and Taker stomps away, sending Big Show out to the floor. Show blocks a shot into the steps and sends the champion face first into them instead. A headbutt staggers Undertaker and there’s a big right hand. Taker escapes a posting attempt and sends Big Show head first into the post to get himself a breaker. Show is slammed into the announce table and it’s chair time.

The chair is cracked over Big Show’s back and somehow the referee didn’t notice it. I love how that works. Taker pounds away on the floor and rakes away at his eyes for good measure. Back in and Undertaker goes up top which can’t end well for him. Big Show catches him in mid air and chokeslams Undertaker THROUGH THE RING. The match is thrown out for obvious reasons.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of note but obviously that wasn’t the point here. The idea was to show that Undertaker was vulnerable and to make Big Show look all the more awesome which I think they safely did. This would be one of the more famous spots in the history of the show and would be nominated for biggest spot ever at some anniversary show.

Post match the Ministry runs in and is quickly dispatched to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. If you’re watching this for wrestling, you’re better off with Nitro. If you’re watching this for drama, you’re in Heaven. This was ALL storyline and that made it a very fast two hours. The Higher Power reveal is one of the dumbest moments of all time, but man alive is it FUN when you actually watch it. The whole story is still the epitome of Russo booking with how intricate it was, but again when you think about if for very long at all it comes falling down. The Undertaker reign of terror would be done in about a month or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: March 1, 2013
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews, Michael Cole

This is another special edition of the show called Social Media Smackdown. In other words, the show is heavily themed around things like Twitter, Tout and whatever else is popular in that area of technology. I’m not entirely sure how we’re supposed to hear live from fans during a taped show, but I’m sure WWE has some “clever” idea in mind to solve this dilemma. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Orton and Sheamus attacking the Shield on Monday in a surprise attack.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Damien Sandow

Non-title. On the way to the ring, Sandow complains about the poor sentence structure that the champion and Ricardo both use. He also doesn’t like the spit bucket that Ricardo carries for some reason. Sandow is only accomplished by his good looks and jealous gazes of the unwashed masses. Alberto makes fun of Damien’s breath and we’re ready to go. They fight over a lockup to start until Sandow gets a quick shoulder to knock Del Rio down.

The champion comes back with one of his own and Damien heads to the apron. Back in and Sandow hooks a headlock before stomping away in the corner. We get some tweets on the bottom of the screen to meet the social media requirement of the match. Some of the commentary is indeed new though as we hear Cole talk about some news stories from Friday.

Alberto comes back with a slam and a middle rope moonsault for two. Sandow hooks a chinlock to no avail as Del Rio comes back with la majistral (rolling cradle) for two. Damien is right back with a clothesline for a near fall of his own though as the fast pace continues. Sandow jumps into a kick to the ribs and gets backdropped out to the apron. An enziguri puts him on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Damien slamming Del Rio down and dropping the Wind-Up Elbow for two. Sandow drops some knees into the champion’s ribs and hooks a chinlock with his knee in the back. Del Rio fights up and hooks a German suplex to escape, putting both guys down. Back up and they slug it out until the Del Rio comes back with some clotheslines and a backbreaker. A low superkick gets two on Sandow as Swagger and Colter are watching in the back.

The cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic (reverse X-Factor) for two. Del Rio sends Sandow into the ropes and spins him around, allowing for some forearms to the back and a Backstabber for another near fall. Alberto loads up something in the corner but charges into a boot, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two more for Sandow. He loads Del Rio into the Terminus but Alberto counters into the cross armbreaker for the submission at 9:42 shown of 13:12.

Rating: B. This was much better than I was expecting with both guys moving very quickly. The idea here was great with both guys getting to show off and look good in a match where they both benefit. Del Rio gets a win over someone who isn’t bad and Sandow gets to look good against the world champion. Above all else though: this is a fresh match. We haven’t seen these two fight, or at least not in awhile.

We get some clips from the masterpiece of Cena vs. Punk on Raw.

HELL NO is in the back and they talk about facing the Prime Time Players again tonight but with the handicaps from Raw reversed: tonight Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm behind his back. Kane says fine but Bryan yells because Kane doesn’t know what it’s like to be blinded in a match. Kane is happy because he doesn’t have to look at Bryan’s ugly goat face during the match. Bryan says no a lot.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is 2/3 falls and Miz is challenging. No jacket of flag for Cesaro this time. Miz grabs a fast rollup for two but Cesaro takes him to the mat with ease. He puts a headlock on Miz before running him over with a shoulder for two. Miz hits a back elbow of his own for one and kicks Cesaro in the face for two more. The champion heads to the floor for a breather but back inside Miz goes after the knee. Antonio heads to the floor again, only to get caught by a sunset flip back inside.

A knee to the ribs puts Miz down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz fights up and hits a clothesline, only to charge into a kind of torture rack slam for two. Cool looking move by Cesaro there. A rollup gets two for Miz but Cesaro Neutralizes him for the first fall at 4:02. We take a break and come back with the score tied up. Apparently Miz won a fall with the Figure Four during a break. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Miz charges into the gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to the chinlock.

The challenger fights up and stars raining down left hands on Cesaro but the champion calls Miz a stupid American, earning himself a slap. The Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) is countered and Cesaro throws Miz into the air for the European Uppercut for a very close two. Cesaro taunts Miz, only to have the weak knee taken out for two.

They slug it out from their knees with Miz taking over and pounding away on Cesaro in the corner. The running clothesline in the corner sets up the top rope double ax handle for no cover. Back to the knee and there’s the Figure Four but Antonio makes the rope. Miz tries the hold again but Cesaro kicks him off. A rollup out of the corner gets two for Miz but Cesaro reverses into one of his own, pulling the trunks for the pin at 10:04 shown of 13:34.

Rating: C+. Another decent match getting some length here and both guys got to look pretty good. It was annoying having the second fall on the WWE App but I guess we need to make sure we get it if we want to see the full match. Also they just didn’t have time for the wrestling stuff tonight because we need to TOUT STUFF later on in the show or something. Decent match here and hopefully this ends this feud, although odds are it won’t given the finish.

Orton and Sheamus are in the back and Shemaus wants Randy to worry about the Shield. Orton says he has to worry about Big Show tonight so Sheamus offers to watch his back. Randy actually takes him up on the offer.

Video on Fandango who debuts tonight.

Here’s good old JR to interview Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter. JR talks about how he recruited Swagger to wrestle when he was playing football at the University of Oklahoma. Swagger insults the Sooners and Colter says they gave JR this interview because he’s a real American. We get a clip from September when Swagger walked out on Raw. Colter answers for him, saying that he taught Swagger the truth about what happens in America everyday.

JR doesn’t understand so Colter talks about how WWE is a microcosm of what America is like. Colter thinks it’s interesting that Swagger could go on a losing streak and leave at the same time someone like Alberto Del Rio comes in and takes what should belong to Jack. Colter goes into his usual schtick about illegal immigrants taking jobs from Americans. Remarkably in one of the most conservative states in the country, no one seems to disagree. Colter says that Del Rio doesn’t share the same values that he and Swagger do, so Del Rio needs to leave the country. Zeb compares Del Rio to rotten fruit that should be trashed.

Colter talks about Swagger winning the title at Wrestlemania but JR suggests that Colter is brainwashing Swagger. Apparently whatever talking Swagger and JR had done in the past means nothing anymore and JR needs to be quiet before something bad happens to him. Swagger gets in JR’s face and shoves him into the corner while calling JR a sympathizer. This brings out Del Rio who stands between JR and Swagger before saying that Swagger and Colter are the problems before saying he’s the solution. That’s a very good line and it ends the segment.

Your choices to face Del Rio next week are Ziggler, Barrett and Cesaro. The winner will be announced later tonight.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

Non-title, Kane is blindfolded and Bryan has an arm tied behind his back. After a break, Kane puts a hood on over his mask but it has a goat face on it. Funny stuff. Bryan has Kane start with Young so Darren has some fun. He tries to trip Kane up in a school boy but the masked man catches on. Darren: “IT DIDN’T WORK TITUS!” Kane catches up to Darren and slams him down before Bryan tags himself in. After some kicks to the chest, a one arm crucifix gets two on Young. It’s off to Titus and we take a break.

Back with Daniel escaping from Titus and bringing in Kane. The fans help Kane find Titus in the corner and there’s a hip toss by Kane, but he can’t find Titus again. Young comes in off a tag and walks into a chokeslam but Young rolls away from the cover. Bryan tags himself in but Kane grabs the referee by the throat. Bryan tries to call him off so Kane grabs Bryan with the other hand. Kane eventually feels the beard and lets Bryan go, but the distraction lets Titus roll Daniel up for the pin at 3:55 shown of 7:25.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was. Is it that Bryan and Kane fight a lot? That’s fine I guess, but they did this same idea on Raw on Monday. It certainly wasn’t to push the Players as the division has already died off again. It wasn’t for comedy because other than the goat face hood, nothing on here was funny.

Post match Kane sees the goat face on the hood and is ticked off. Of all the costumes he’s worn over the years, that’s the one that offends him? Bryan wants a hug but Kane puts the hood on him and smacks Bryan in the face.

Big Show says he’ll chokeslam Orton tonight.

Here’s Chris Jericho live via Skype where it’s the afternoon. He’s on tour with Fozzie and bands like Metallica and Anthrax and plugs the replay of Robot Combat League after Smackdown. That’s that apparently.

We meet Fandango in the back where he rubs his chest and criticizes Striker for his pronunciation of the name. We get some lessons in how to say Fandango before Striker asks him about his fighting style. Fandango says that he’s accomplished everything in the ballroom so now it’s time to take his rhythm and grace to the ring. Striker says Fandango’s debut is up next against what sounds like Zack Ryder, but Fandango says the debut isn’t happening until Striker gets his name right before walking off. Oh dear indeed.

We recap Lesnar returning to attack Vince and HHH returning to fight off Lesnar, busting him open in the process.

Del Rio faces Ziggler next week with over 50% of the vote.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

During Orton’s entrance we get a clip from Raw of Orton and Sheamus distracting the Shield, allowing Orton to hit an RKO on Rollins. Orton avoids the chop in the corner to start and pounds away on the giant. Show knocks him back down and fires off a headbutt to stagger Orton. The big mane takes over and things slow down as he pounds away at Orton’s midsection. Show crushes him in the corner but gets dropkicked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Big Show slamming elbows into Orton’s shoulder to keep him in trouble. Show hooks a short arm scissors but Randy fights up with some right hands. That gets him nowhere though as Big Show takes him right back down with the Final Cut for two. Show goes to the middle rope but his elbow from there hits the mat, allowing Orton to keep living.

Orton pounds away at the head and counters the chokeslam into a DDT for two. They head to the floor where Orton sends Big Show head first into the post to slow him down even more. Back in and Orton kicks Big Show in the jaw, allowing him to hit the Elevated DDT. Before he can follow up though, here comes the Shield. Big Show is still down so Orton is caught 3-1. Here’s Sheamus before Shield can get in the ring and it’s 3-2. The fans chant FEED ME MORE as the match is thrown out I’m guessing. For the time, we’ll say it was 7:00 shown of about 10:30.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty slow paced but it was jut there for the post match stuff. There’s nothing wrong with that at all and it allowed for Big Show to prove he hasn’t fallen far off the radar after losing the title. The Shield stuff is the important stuff though so let’s get to that already.

Orton and Sheamus get caught in the numbers game but Big Show gets back up and knocks Reigns out cold. Rollins and Ambrose don’t know what to think so they run away. This didn’t come off as a turn for Big Show but rather him fighting someone he perceived as an imminent threat. Big Show knocks Orton out with a punch so Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down.

Overall Rating: C+. The first 45 minute or so were really solid but then things started to taper off in a hurry. The social media stuff wound up meaning nothing although the version I watched which aired before it aired in America had slightly different commentary and didn’t include the JBL or Jericho interviews, the Call trailer or the Del Rio poll stuff. Still though, the social media stuff meant nothing at all for the most part. The show tonight was ok though and it looks like it set up a six man tag for Wrestlemania.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Damien Sandow – Cross armbreaker

Antonio Cesaro b. The Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Prime Time Players b. HELL NO – Rollup to Bryan

Randy Orton vs. Big Show went to a no contest when Shield interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 28, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 12,256
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I don’t know if I just got confused or what but I had a full intro ready for the show from February 28, 2005. Eh this show is probably more entertaining anyway. It’s the night after No Way Out which means that HHH has retired Mick Foley and is still world champion. Other than that Big Show is officially #1 contender for Wrestlemania, which defies any and all predictions going into last night. Methinks something will change tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are HHH and the smoking hot Stephanie to open the show. The Game is all bandaged up but he says he can’t celebrate. He should be excited after last night but instead he’s depressed because of how much he respects Foley. Just a month ago in this arena, the two of them beat the tar out of each other and HHH is sad to see him go. The fans chant for Foley and HHH says he respects him. Stephanie isn’t pleased but he says it’s a guy thing.

HHH has a highlight reel of Mick’s career which starts off very nice but turns into a DX video of the beatings HHH has given Mick over the years. After the video HHH cracks up laughing and talks about how much better the company will be with Foley gone. Stephanie says Foley can now be a fat disgusting retired loser instead of an active one. This brings out Shane and Big Show for McMahon Time.

He talks to Stephanie about how managing the world champion will determine who controls the company because that’s what the main event scene of the WWF is about right now. Shane wants Big Show as champion instead of HHH or The Rock because Show is awesome apparently. They stare at each other a bit and here’s Rock to pick things up a bit.

Rock talks about how proud he is of someone out there. It isn’t Shane for returning last night in Rock’s match. It isn’t Stephanie being a tramp. It isn’t Big Show for going to Wrestlemania. It isn’t to HHH for still being world champion. It’s to all four of them at once for being the biggest bunch of orifices on the face of the earth. That’s not what Rock wants to talk about though. He guarantees he’s going to Wrestlemania and that he’s going to be WWF Champion. HHH actually uses the “this is an A B conversation” line on Rock. Dear goodness I can’t believe I heard that.

HHH thinks Rock blew his chance and says that Rock goes back to the bottom of the ladder. That means that tonight, he gets to face the Brooklyn Brawler. HHH was teasing that it would be Foley before saying it’s the Brawler. Funny stuff there. HHH gets in his own If You Smell line and Shane says there’s no chance that Rock is going to Wrestlemania as the #1 contender.

The Hardys yell at the APA for doing something last night at No Way Out. A brawl is teased but the Hardys want a match. They turn over the poker table to make sure they get what they want.

Hardy Boys vs. Acolytes

We get a clip of the Acolytes jumping the Hardys after their match last night. See how easy that was? Fifteen seconds, angle explained, problem solved. Apparently Terri turned on the Hardys last night and might have hired the Acolytes to destroy Matt and Jeff. The Hardys dive on the APA in the aisle and there go the shirts. Obviously it’s a brawl to start but the APA gets the better of it, double teaming Matt in the ring. Matt and Bradshaw get us going as we hear about Bradshaw’s stock portfolio. He kicks Matt in the face for two before pounding away in the corner.

Matt comes back with a tornado DDT and makes the tag off to Jeff. There’s a flying forearm to Bradshaw but Jeff is caught in the fallaway slam to put him down. Off to Faarooq who is immediately rolled up for two but pops back up and takes Jeff’s head off with a clothesline. Back to Bradshaw for more of the same power brawling but Faarooq comes back in to punch a bit more. Jeff escapes the Dominator and hits a jawbreaker to get himself some space. Everything breaks down and Matt makes a blind tag and sneaks in for a Twist of Fate on Bradshaw to end things.

Rating: C-. This was fine if a little short. As is almost always the case, power vs. speed works as well as anything else does. The Hardys were on the rise at this point while the APA was on its way out as a team that meant anything. At the end of the day though, they’re strong guys that beat people up so it took awhile for them to outlive their usefulness.

Angle tells a security guard which of his two title belts weigh more. He thinks the IC Title weighs more because it represents more countries.

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Angle has made an open challenge to anyone for a European Title match. Before the match he puts his foot in the mouth about New York City before talking about the open challenge a bit. Anyone that wants to come out can, so here’s the opponent.

European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi Phatu

That’s surprising as Jericho got screwed out of the IC Title last night so you would expect him to come out for revenge here. Yeah it’s still Phatu here but that name would be gone soon. Rikishi has a bad ankle but takes Kurt down quickly and drops a leg. Angle avoids the Stinkface with a chop block before pounding away. He walks into a Samoan Drop though and a charge in the corner. Now the Stinkface works and Kurt loses his mind. He staggers to the floor and walks out.

Angle yells about how this was supposed to be wrestling, not whatever that was. NOW Jericho comes out along with Chyna and Angle is trapped. Jericho chases Angle back into the ring for the Rikishi Driver and a Banzai Drop for good measure. Cue the Radicalz to beat up everyone in sight until Too Cool makes the save. Of course now it’s time to dance, including Chyna and Jericho. This was a big deal back in 2000 so the place goes NUTS.

Post break Jericho is about to talk when the Radicalz force their way up to them. Saturn challenges Jericho to a match for later.

Edge and Christian vs. Head Cheese

The Canadians are #1 contenders due to beating the Hardys last night and now have Terri with them. Many of you might not be familiar with Head Cheese but it’s actually a clever idea. The idea is Al Snow and Steve Blackman teamed up for no apparent reason, but Blackman is REALLY boring. Snow of course takes it upon himself to make him interesting, so he tries everything from team names (Snow has head and head cheese is a thing so there you go. Also suggested was the Snow Bunnies) to cheesy entrance music which he tries tonight. Blackman keeps his stone face the entire time and it’s hilarious.

Edge and Snow start with the Canadian hitting a middle rope shoulder. Off to Christian for some modified Poetry in Motion. Terri is on commentary and complains about the Hardys not visiting her enough. Head Cheese (drawing a chant) stomps on Christian before it’s off to Blackman for a one on one beating of Christian.

A backbreaker sets up a middle rope elbow to the back for two. Snow hits a German suplex for two but an Edge distraction breaks up a moonsault attempt. Edge comes in legally now and cleans house but a DDT only gets two on Al. Terri gets up and pulls a big cheese head hat out of a bag to distract Blackman, allowing Edge to spear him down for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but man alive I never cared for Terri. She wasn’t that attractive and she was annoying almost every time she was seen. I didn’t like the match that much either as it made the Canadians look kind of lame in that they needed Terri to beat a team like Snow and Blackman.

The Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler gets in some shots in the corner but it’s the Rock Bottom to end it in about 40 seconds.

Post match Rock grabs the mic and says he doesn’t want to leave New York yet. He wants HHH out here right now for a fight. Cue HHH with Stephanie trying to hold him back. Before they get to the ring here’s Shane to stop it from happening. Wrestlemania is going to be HHH vs. Big show you see. “Well the Rock says if that’s Wrestlemania, then Wrestlemania is going to ABSOLUTELY SUCK!” For no apparent reason whatsoever, Stephanie gives Rock a handicap match tonight against HHH and Big Show for a shot at the title at Wrestlemania. Rock says it doesn’t matter if it’s his last chance and that’s that.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho taking control. Saturn immediately comes back with a pumphandle throw followed by a mostly missed Vader Bomb legdrop. A big clothesline stops a Jericho comeback bid but Chris hits the bulldog to put Saturn down. The double powerbomb looks to set up the Lionsault but Dean low bridges Jericho, sending him to the floor. Chyna gets thrown into the ring for no apparent reason and there’s a suplex for her troubles. Saturn loads up a suplex but Chyna comes back in and hits him low, allowing Jericho to hit the Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was fine but there’s something else I want to talk about here. Notice how great it is to be able to throw the Radicalz into the mix like this. They’re known names already but they’re fresh to the WWF, giving their new audience matches they might not have seen before. The Radicalz were an excellent boost to the roster and gave it several new ways to go with feuds. That’s a big reason why WCW was crushed even further.

Road Dogg tells Billy that he (as in Billy) is too hurt to fight the Dudleys tonight so X-Pac will go for the titles with Roadie. Billy doesn’t like this decision and says that with one arm he’s twice as good as HHH would ever be. A beatdown ensues as the Outlaws are done for good.

Hardcore Title: Mark Henry vs. Crash Holly

Mark is challenging and has a pregnant Mae Young with him here. The fans continue their running joke by calling Crash Elroy. Crash gets beaten up and almost immediately bails up the ramp. Mark pulls him back to the ring but Crash sends him into the post and hits him with a 2×4. Henry throws Crash around and loads up a splash, but Mae wants to splash him instead. She lands on Crash but hurts her stomach and the match is stopped.

During the break we found out that Mae is in labor. Oh dear goodness it’s THIS SHOW???

Tazz vs. Chris Benoit

Tazz is almost brand new at this point, yet he’s been around the company longer than Benoit. See what I meant about what bringing in new talent could do for you? They go straight at each other to start but Benoit gets the first big move with a snap suplex for two. Benoit charges into a Tazzplex though, only to have Eddie Guerrero distract the referee. Another throw puts Benoit down but Eddie does it again. That earns Guerrero an ejection Benoit pounds Tazz down and rolls some Germans as Boss Man and Albert come out here to beat on Tazz for the DQ. They had a mini feud going at this point.

Benoit leaves and Tazz is finally put down by a choke bomb from Albert.

Mae won’t have the baby without having a cigar. Apparently she hasn’t had any monthly issues since 1957. Brisco looks between her legs and retches. This is airing on live television people.

Post break Mae Young gives birth to a hand, marking the official lowest point in the history of the wrestling industry.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Road Dogg/X-Pac

The Dudleys won the titles from the Outlaws the night before and this is kind of a rematch. It’s a brawl to start with the champions clearing the ring. Bubba and Roadie officially get things going and Dogg takes the reverse 3D for no cover. Bubba hits Road Dogg a little bit low and it’s off to D-Von. There’s a neck crank to the Dogg for a few moments followed by a clothesline. Bubba comes in and drops a few elbows for two.

Dogg fights back out of the corner and snaps off the shaky jabs, only to have D-Von break up the last punch. Dogg clotheslines Bubba down and there’s the tag to X-Pac. He kicks both Dudleys and avoids a charge in the corner before hitting the Bronco Buster on Bubba. Cue Kane to chase Pac off and chokeslam Road Dogg, throwing the match out.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the match was just filling time until Kane came out. Kane vs. X-Pac went on for a VERY long time and got pretty dull after awhile. Somehow Rikishi would be brought into it at Wrestlemania but that’s another story. The Dudleys were still new here and hadn’t really established themselves yet. They would come around soon enough though.

Everyone not named X-Pac gets chokeslammed.

Big Show and HHH talk strategy.

Here’s the actual tribute to Mick Foley which is pretty solid.

Big Show/HHH vs. The Rock

The team has to tag here and HHH gets us going. They slug it out and HHH actually takes over but walks into a back elbow to put the Game down. Rock and HHH fight up the ramp but here’s Big Show to uneven the odds again. Back in and HHH brings Show in legally for some large man offense. A backbreaker puts Rock down and a legdrop gets no cover. Trips comes back in for some choking in the corner before bringing Show in for an elbow drop. Still no cover though as HHH gets another tag.

HHH sidesteps a charging Rock and sends him out to the floor to keep Rocky in trouble. Rock comes back with a quick neckbreaker but the facebuster puts Rock down again. Both heels double team Rocky but he sends Big Show into HHH before DDTing the big man. A clothesline puts Show on the floor and it’s a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow to HHH but Shane comes in for the DQ, meaning Rock didn’t pin either guy and loses his shot.

Rating: C. For a quick Raw handicap main event this wasn’t that bad. The drama was the important part here and that worked out pretty well overall. The point of this match was to make it seem like Rock was going to miss out on Wrestlemania and when I was twelve years old, they did a great job of making me believe it. Not bad here.

Rock gets triple teamed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was pretty decent overall, stupidest moment in wrestling history aside. They’re clearly starting to set up Wrestlemania now and it was a good move not to have Foley show up here. The idea was for him to be completely gone and until about a week before Wrestlemania, that was actually the case. Rock would get his shot back in two weeks so all was right with the world.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Given how awesome the main event was last night, the comparison immediately came up to this masterpiece.  Let’s take a look back at it shall we?  The rest of the show is awesome too.

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches.  The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways.  It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things.  I’m really not sure who to predict in this.  I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else.  Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them.  Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain.  Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already.  Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit.  Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already.  Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed.  Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center.  Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald.  Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down.  Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one.  Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline.  Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same.  Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one.  He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down.  Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring.  Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter.  They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post.  For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus.  Not a good night for the Mexican dude.  Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him.  BIG pop for Sheamus for that one.  Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder.  Scratch that as all three go to the floor.  Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now.  The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership.  Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher.  Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in.  Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead.  Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later.  Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down.  Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder.  Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save.  Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time.  Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan.  Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now.  Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think.  The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people.  Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe.  Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder.  That would be awesome.  Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him.  Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves.  Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing.  Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top.  That was cool.  Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb.  Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it.  Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT.  Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him.  Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him.  He goes onto it but doesn’t break it.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible.  That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down.  Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot.  Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit.  Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge.  Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE!  Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing.  He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end.  The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot.  I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened.  GREAT match though.

Vince is here.  Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat.  Is his memory failing or something?  No idea what you want me to say here.  They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw.  Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now.  It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd.  Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here.  Crowd is dead here.  K2 ends this at like four minutes.  Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here?  This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure.  The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time.  Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really.  It served its purpose though I guess.

Summerslam ad.  It’s in the summer you know.  Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show.  They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people.  Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is in blue here.  They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down.  Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up.  Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control.  Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in.  Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two.  Half crab goes on which makes sense for once.  Henry?  Psychology?  What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking?  Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool.  Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such.  Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three.  Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up.  World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two.  Dang I would have thought that was the ending.  Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it.  They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short.  That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall.  Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb.  Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed.  He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract.  Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring.  Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction.  Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily.  Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at.  Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time.  Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart.  He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up.  Now they team up and take out some heels.  Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out.  Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing.  Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot.  Truth dives over to take out all three of them.  Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out.  Bourne goes up and everyone gasps.  SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!!  Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save.  Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz.  Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it.  I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL.  This might be legit actually.  Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee.  I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it.  Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne.  The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels.  That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder.  Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails.  Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs.  He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first.  Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth.  Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot.  Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger.  Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again.  Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own.  Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it.  All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too.  Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still.  Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off.  He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop.  They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat.  HERE’S MIZ!  He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio.  Never mind as he’s coming back up again.  Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it.  REY’S MASK IS OFF!  Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face.  Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified.  Alberto is all alone and it’s over.  Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one.  The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit.  Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish.  Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all.  Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair.  If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go.  Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap.  The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease.  The crowd is totally behind Christian here.  Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside.  These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control.  Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor.  Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO.  Jackknife cover gets two for Randy.  There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased.  Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match.  Top rope headbutt gets two.  Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999.  Even the crowd is into this now.  Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead.  Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two.  He sets for the Punt but Christian moves.  Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble.  Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him.  He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ.  Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ!  CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!!  THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff.  I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before.  Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is.  Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot.  Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena.  If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot.  Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot.  This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too.  If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go.  Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy.  He even has a new shirt.  The crowd is rabid for Punk.  He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd.  HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena.  I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins.  OH MAN that heat is ONS levels.  Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance.  Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer.  Here we go.  I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal.  TON of time for this too.  Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up.  We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare.  They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock.  Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him.  Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar.  They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be.  Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely.  There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here.  Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in.  Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit.  There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down.  We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE.  Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight.  Punk goes for the knee and takes over again.  Cena fires back with the bulldog for two.  Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no.  I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match.  Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth.  Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two.  Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two.  All Punk at this point.  Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two.  AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two.  Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again.  It seems like they’re saving energy.  They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor.  Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead.  The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up.  The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron.  That gets two back in the ring.  Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two.  Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring.  There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body.  Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit.  Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in.  Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment.  Oh wait yes he is.  That was more or less an FU off the apron.  Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now.  He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s.  Elbow drop gets two.  Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes.  The knee looks fine.  It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it.  We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch.  HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY!  Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down.  Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence.  The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head.  Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again.  Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment.  Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes.  AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason.  GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two.  Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog.  Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this.  The replay shows how sweet those knees were.  Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble!  Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two.  Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again!  Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again.  Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right.  It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice.  SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO.  This is getting awesome as they used the slow build.  I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn.  Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two.  Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep.  He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two.  These kickouts are incredible.  They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference.  Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA.  It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT.  Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape.  Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death.  The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position.  And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace.  The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell.  Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way.  Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way.  He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic.  Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety.  Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be.  Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent.  Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music.  He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in.  Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down.  Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him.  The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible.  From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all.  Even the Divas had their looks going for them so you can’t complain there.  Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed.  Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype.  Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show.  Loved it.

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

How nice it is to only have one Chamber match at this show.  Let’s get to it.Starting with the preshow, I’ll go with Brodus/Tensai to beat the Rhodes Scholars.  Wait, didn’t they split up already?  Oh wait that was about two weeks ago so there’s no reason to remember it.  This is basically just a way to put the dancers over which is fine, but the Scholars shouldn’t have split already.  This should be the reason they break up, but that would make too much sense I guess.

I’ll go with Rock to retain the title, but I’m not 100% sold on it anymore.  The promos don’t have me wanting to see the match as much as I wanted to see them last month, but it should be better now that Rock isn’t coming in seven months cold.  I think they’re heading for Rock vs. Cena II at Wrestlemania and I can’ t say I’d argue over that idea.  Rock retains.

For the other title match…..I’ll go with Del Rio winning.  The bigger question seems to be will Ziggler cash in.  He hasn’t been seen much lately at all, which may be an attempt to make us forget about him before he cashes in on Sunday.  That being said, I’ve been thinking he’ll cash in for six months now, but I don’t think he’ll do it here.  Either that or he cashes in and loses.  Del Rio walks out with the title.

This brings us to the Chamber itself.  I’m pulling for Henry to win and set up the 6’4 Mexican David vs. the guy that Goliath checks under the bed for every night.  That being said, I have a bad feeling they’ll go with Swagger for the evil xenophobia angle at Wrestlemania, which makes my head hurt.  Bryan and Kane will likely continue to self destruct which is probably the best thing for them.  Orton and Jericho are just there and might have a match at Mania out of it.  Hopefully Henry wins but Swagger is the dark horse candidate.

I’ll take the three man machine to beat Shield.  Why would you have Cena win the Rumble one month and then lose in a six man the next?  Shield goes down here.

Kaitlyn over Tamina and Cesaro over Miz in matches that make no difference whatsoever.

Elimination Chamber looks like it could fit into the category of “good because it has no expectations coming in.”  Things could change a bit at this show and odds are we’ll finally get some answers about the rest of the card at Wrestlemania.  There are a lot of options open still which is nice as opposed to the card being pretty obvious eight weeks out.  The show should be good an interesting, which is a good sign.