Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 1999
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

As usual, it’s been a minute since we’ve been here and things have been changing a bit. HHH is the new WWF Champion, having defeated Mankind last week. He also successfully defended the title against the Rock last week on the debut of a new show called Smackdown. We’re on the way to Unforgiven and the card needs to get started so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is the Rock to get things going and yep the people seem to like him. After declaring that he is FINALLY in Boston again, Rock blames a wannabe cowboy commissioner named Shawn Michaels for costing him the WWF Title on Smackdown. Rock is going to take Shawn’s little cowboy hat, spin his six shooter around, and stick it, uh, somewhere. He calls out HHH for a fight but doesn’t get him, which sends Rock to the back to find HHH himself. We cut to the Rock in the back, where HHH, Chyna and Shane McMahon all jump him in a hallway. Mankind makes the save.

Here are Shane McMahon and the Mean Street Posse for a chat. Shane has heard that Rock and Mankind want a WWF Title shot tonight so they can have it….if they can defeat their respective opponents. We’ll start with the Rock, who gets to face the Undertaker in a no holds barred, falls count anywhere match. As for Mankind, Shane beat him last week but first, Mankind attacked the Mean Street Posse. That’s why tonight, Mankind has to beat all of them RIGHT NOW!

Mankind vs. Mean Street Posse

If Mankind wins, he gets a WWF Title shot against HHH tonight. Oh and Shane McMahon will be the guest referee! As expected, it’s a triple teaming to start but Mankind fights back like he’s Mankind and they’re the Mean Street Posse. The beating is on with Mankind hitting the running knee in the corner on Rodney but Joey Abs gets in a chair shot (behind Shane’s back of course) for a breaker.

Back in and Joey (with his foot in a cast) stomps away as Pete throws in a trashcan. Shane misses the beating but does stop to yell at them, allowing a double suplex to get two on Mankind. Joey’s street sign hits Rodney by mistake but Shane has hurt his ankle. A shovel to the head drops Joey but Shane won’t count. That earns Shane the Mandible Claw, which draws in HHH for the brawl. The match is thrown out with Mankind being declared the winner by DQ, but Shane makes the correction (as Lilian Garcia seemed to mess up).

Rating: C-. There was only so much you could get out of this was it wasn’t going to be anything more than a joke. That’s what the Posse was there for, but they didn’t bother trying to do anything more than goofy nonsense. They had to have a way to keep Mankind from getting the title shot and these shenanigans are as good as they could have done, all things considered.

Undertaker, with Big Show and Paul Bearer, isn’t worried about facing the Rock tonight. He’s ready to shove a soup bone down Rock’s throat, as Undertaker isn’t exactly speaking like his normal self here.

Undertaker vs. The Rock

No Holds Barred and Falls Count Anywhere, which is different than hardcore because there’s probably going to be a hardcore match later. Undertaker has Big Show and Paul Bearer with him and Rock gets a WWF Title match later tonight if he wins. Actually never mind, as Undertaker doesn’t think Rock has earned the right to do this so Big Show is doing it instead.

Big Show vs. The Rock

Same everything as before as that’s a lot to type again. Undertaker is on commentary (that’s a WEIRD one) and Rock is in street clothes as he punches away at Show to start. A clothesline puts Show on the floor but he sends Rock into the barricade to slow him down. Rock is fine enough to hit a Russian legsweep on the ramp but Show knocks him down again without too much trouble.

Back in and Show misses a charge into the corner so they head right back to the floor. Rock slips out of a ram into the post though and puts on a headset, offering to slap the dead off Undertaker’s head. A right hand drops Undertaker but the distraction lets Show chokeslam Rock through the announcers’ table for the pin. Lilian: “Your winner, the Undertaker!”

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere, but at least they got in a hardcore match in about three and a half minutes. Throw in the fact that they managed to have two of the three biggest heroes in the company lose in the first 40 or so minutes of the show and that’s not too bad. That’s a rather Russo style show for you and I have a feeling it’s going to get even worse.

Post match HHH comes out to go after Rock but Undertaker grabs him by the throat. Cue Mankind to go after Show and Undertaker, allowing HHH to escape.

Al Snow is rather upset about Big Boss Man stealing his dog Pepper. As he pleas for people to help him, we can hear sounds of some rather adult actions taking place off screen.

Here is Big Boss Man for a chat. He asks for and gets Al Snow out here, with Boss Man saying Snow lived up to his end of the bargain on SmackDown. Then Snow was crying on Heat and Boss Man got the feeling. Snow keeps asking where Pepper is and Boss Man tells him to come to his hotel this week on Smackdown and he’ll get Pepper back. They even shake on it.

We look back at Chris Jericho putting Road Dogg through a table on Smackdown and injuring his back, putting Dogg on the shelf for a long time.

X-Pac vs. Taka Michinoku

Funaki is here with Taka. X-Pac hammers away to start but Funaki gets in a cheap shot. Taka knocks him outside and gets in a few shots, only to miss a moonsault back inside. A sitout powerbomb sets up the Bronco Buster and the X Factor for the fast pin on Taka.

Rating: C. X-Pac is in a weird place here as he’s too big to be fighting these smaller guys but not big enough to be in the main event scene. What matters is the fans are behind him though and he is more than good enough in the ring to back it up. They just have to find the right way to use him though and this was just a way to keep him warm.

Post match X-Pac takes out an invading Funaki as well. X-Pac says he wants the big guys.

Edge and Christian vs. The Acolytes vs. The Hollys vs. The Hardys

Elimination rules and the winners get a Tag Team Title match. It’s a brawl to start but Viscera, Mideon, Prince Albert, Droz, Stevie Richards and the Blue Meanie come in for the no contest. In a four way elimination match. In about a minute. The referees breaking it up takes longer than the match.

Here is the Rock to say Undertaker and Big Show didn’t impress anyone so he wants a handicap match tonight. First though, he wants to stick Undertaker’s head inside Big Show. Mickey Mouse tattoos are mentioned as well. Cue Mankind to say he didn’t like the Rock at some point, but now the people want and need him to be the Rock’s partner for a shot at the Tag Team Titles. Mankind even loads up Rock’s catchphrase but Rock cuts him off and says sure. Just DON’T YOU EVER steal his catchphrases again, but Mankind even rips off the IF YOU SMELL, which has Rock annoyed.

Here is Meat, with Terri Runnels, for a chat, but Terri hits on the Rock on the way up the ramp. He isn’t impressed. Hold on though as we get a GTV segment of Meat and Marianna, shall we say enjoying each other behind the interview set earlier. Terri goes after Meat but here are Marianna and Chaz (her boyfriend) for the big brawl.

Miss Kitty helps with Debra’s hair because the hair stylist has no idea what she is doing.

Jeff Jarrett/Mark Henry vs. D’Lo Brown/Billy Gunn

Debra and Miss Kitty are here with Jarrett and here is Chyna to do commentary. Brown clotheslines Jarrett down to start and something like a Sky High gets two. Jeff gets in a shot of his own and it’s Henry coming in for a gorilla press drop. Choking on the rope ensues as Kitty works on Debra’s hair. A clothesline puts Brown down as Chyna promises to get revenge and Jeff Jarrett’s Intercontinental Title. Brown gets in a shot of his own and everything breaks down. The distraction lets Chyna come in with the guitar….which hits Gunn by mistake, giving Jarrett the pin.

Rating: C. It wasn’t even four minutes long but it was nice to have a pretty run of the mill tag match until the screwy ending. There is nothing wrong with putting two potential title matches together, but Chyna seems more likely to get the Intercontinental Title shot (signing a contract helps). That’s more interesting than Gunn, which is the case with just about anything.

Test names Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco the best men for his wedding to Stephanie McMahon. Whichever has the better memory gets to hold the ring.

Gangrel vs. Ken Shamrock

Gangrel has the Hardys with him, with commentary getting on Lilian Garcia for not calling them the New Brood. The bell rings and you can hear what sounds like a fire extinguisher putting out the Brood’s ring of fire entrance. Shamrock goes for the leg to start and Gangrel heads straight to the floor. Gangrel slugs away outside but the Hardys’ distraction is enough to get them ejected. Back in and Shamrock can’t quite get the ankle lock so Gangrel elbows him in the face. Shamrock kicks away and elbows him in the face, setting up the ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: C. It’s almost weird to see a match from this era getting about five minutes and of all their options, it’s Gangrel vs. Ken Shamrock? Gangrel wasn’t the biggest threat to Shamrock but it was nice to have him doing something other than drinking red liquid. Shamrock was in a weird place at this point and needs something to do, as just beating up Gangrel isn’t the most interesting.

Post match avowed Jericholic Howard Finkel introduces Chris Jericho, who says he isn’t coming out here to fight Shamrock. Instead, Shamrock can show up at Smackdown and clean his boots. Shamrock gives a slow motion chase.

Mankind wants to do the People’s Elbow but Rock tells him to stick with the sock gimmick. Mankind: “Mr. Socko.”

Here is Women’s Champion Ivory for a chat. After yelling at Michael Cole for undressing her with his eyes, she declares that she is not a sl**. Tori on the other hand is, so here is Tori to jump Ivory (and hitting Cole in the process), with Luna Vachon and Jacqueline coming in to join the brawl.

We look at Big Show chokeslamming Rock through the announcers’ table earlier.

Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Undertaker vs. Mankind/The Rock

Show and Undertaker are defending and Show hammers Mankind down to start as Undertaker doesn’t look overly interested. Undertaker gets in some shots to Mankind on the floor, with Rock having to make a save back inside. The bearhug goes on (showing how big Show really is) until Mankind punches his way to freedom. With that not working, Show punches him outside for another beating from Undertaker.

Mankind gets dropped on what is left of the broken announcers’ table as Paul Bearer comes out. Bearer says something to Undertaker, who walks out as Mankind gets in a shot of his own. The hot tag brings in Rock to clean house, only to have Show plant him with a chokeslam. Mankind’s chair is knocked into his face before Show’s delayed cover gets two on Rock. The referee gets bumped though and Rock BLASTS Show in the head with the chair. A double People’s Elbow gives Rock the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was another rare match that got some time and it helps a little bit, but there were so many things going on through the match that you can only get so much out of it. Between the chair shot, the ref bump and the Bearer/Undertaker stuff, it was hard to get into things. Throw in the fact that the Tag Team Titles mean nothing and this is little more than a big pop at the end without much else going on to get there. Kind of like most of the Attitude Era when you think about it.

Overall Rating: C+. It was another show with all kinds of stuff going on at the same time, but the addition of Smackdown can help things out a bit. If nothing else, it is nice to see some of the rapid fire stories siphoned off to Smackdown instead of doing everything on Raw for a change. It was a show with a bit more coherent string of stories throughout and we should be in for some good things on the way towards Unforgiven. Nice stuff here, with Smackdown possibly being the saving grace.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 18, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’ll finish up the England excursion here with the blue guys. These shows can be a cross between a bunch of stuff mainly for the live fans and a show that actually matters so we could be in for either here. Backlash is almost here though and Edge vs. Undertaker II is down for the main event so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel to get things going. Jericho reminds us that he is the guest referee for the Backlash match between Shawn Michaels and his guest this week, Batista. Cue Batista, with Jericho saying he thinks Shawn relished retiring Ric Flair and all of his lies over the years. We look at a clip from Raw where Jericho made such accusations, earning himself Sweet Chin Music.

Back live, Jericho says that kick proved him correct and for that, Jericho says you’re welcome to Batista. That’s not what Batista was looking for because he didn’t need Jericho to speak for him. Batista says this is between himself and Shawn so Jericho has nothing to do with this. Jericho offers some analysis: Batista is upset at Shawn for retiring Ric Flair because he wanted to do it himself. We get a quick fan pole about Jericho’s claims but Batista takes him out with the Batista Bomb.

Tommy Dreamer vs. MVP

Non-title and Matt Hardy is on commentary. Dreamer slugs away to start and grabs an armbar, which doesn’t last long. MVP gets in a shoulder to the ribs before sending him throat first into the bottom rope. Some more knockdowns set up Ballin for two but Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner. The comeback is on including a neckbreaker to give Dreamer two. The DDT gets the same but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. A running boot in the corner finishes Dreamer off.

Rating: C. Not quite a squash here but it was there to have MVP get a quick win over someone the fans care about. Dreamer got in a few shots here and there but it was done in about five minutes, as it should be. Now they just need to get to MVP vs. Hardy, which is more than a bit overdue.

Hornswoggle vs. Matt Striker

This is revenge for Hornswoggle helping inlay beat Striker last week. Before the match, Striker goes on a rant about how unfair this is when he is far too smart. Hold on because Hornswoggle, with Finlay, starts with some juggling before throwing the tennis balls at Striker. Then it’s some squirt guns, followed by some bigger water guns. Striker finally gets smart by going after Finlay on the floor before finally taking Hornswoggle down and hammering away. The Shillelagh is picked up but the referee takes it away, allowing Finlay to get in his own shot to Striker’s head. The Tadpole Splash finishes for Hornswoggle.

Rating: C. It’s kind of hard to get annoyed at anyone, including Hornswoggle, beating up a goof like Striker. The only reason he is around is to get beaten up like this and it being all goofy made it better. They didn’t waste a ton of time on this and it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a quick joke.

Big Show didn’t care for Great Khali giving him a goat and a chicken last week. Tonight he has Mark Henry, which is going to be a big showdown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jamie Noble

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Noble takes him down by the leg to start but Chavo is back up with a running shoulder. Chavo’s headlock on the mat doesn’t last long as they trade rollups for two each until the armbar goes on. Back up and Noble grabs a northern lights suplex for two but Chavo knocks him down and Eddie dances. Noble manages a quickly broken up Sharpshooter attempt so Chavo necksnaps him across the top. The frog splash finishes Noble off.

Rating: C-. Talented people don’t always make for the most interesting matches as this was a good bit of chinlocking before Chavo finished him off. Chavo beating up a former Cruiserweight Champion and having an impressive looking bodyguard isn’t going to make him all that much more interesting. I’m sure he’ll still be near the top of ECW for the time being though because of course he will be, but it’s not quite working.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

They shove each other away from a lockup to start until Henry knocks him away. The bearhug goes on to keep Show in place until a shove and superkick get Show out of trouble. There’s a chokeslam to Henry but cue Great Khali to come out and go after Show for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it was mainly spent in a bearhug with some shoving included. The idea of getting Show ready for Khali was fine but the match was pretty lame on the way there. Then again the idea of Show vs. Khali in a featured match could be rough, even if it wouldn’t be much bigger than this.

Post match the brawl is on with Khali hitting a chokebomb (with Show pretty clearly doing all of the work).

Backlash rundown.

Video on Batista vs. Undertaker before tonight’s main event.

Victoria vs. Cherry

Natalya and Michelle McCool are here too. Victoria powers her down into the corner to start and then hits a clothesline to cut off the comeback. Cherry grabs a rollup out of the corner for two but Victoria slaps on a reverse chinlock. Victoria keeps up the beating and trash talking but Victoria makes the mistake of yelling at Michelle. In a totally original ending, the distraction lets Cherry grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. So many of these women’s matches are just dreadful as there’s nothing to them since they rarely get any time and often involve someone who really can’t do anything in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there’s nothing on the line, so why should I get invested here? Cherry doesn’t wrestle often, but when your big weapon is a rollup, what are you supposed to do?

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Leroy Kincaid

Kincaid is in pretty good shape. Kozlov works on the arm to start and shoves him away before hitting a headbutt to the chest. An overhead belly to belly sets up the reverse DDT to give Kozlov the easy win.

Video on Edge vs. Undertaker.

Edge and the Edgeheads have front row tickets.

Batista vs. Undertaker

Non-title. Undertaker takes him into the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Batista hits the corner shoulders and elbows Undertaker in the face for two of his own. The running DDT drops Batista again and Undertaker stomps away in the corner. Old School is broken up and it’s a double clothesline to leave them both down. We take a break and come back with Undertaker choking on the ropes and staying on the arm.

Old School is blocked again and a superplex brings Undertaker back down for one. Undertaker is right back on the arm and now Old School connects. They go outside with Batista being dropped onto the barricade for two but he’s right back with the spear. That bangs up the arm though and a delayed cover only gets two. Batista dumps him to the floor and they brawl at ringside until it’s a double countout.

Rating: B-. This was a way to get the stars in the ring to continue one of the biggest feuds of the last year or so. The ending was a good way to protect both of them before their major pay per view matches but even the two of them in a match like this feels like something special. There aren’t many options that can make something that work but they got the right one here.

Post match the brawl stays on with Edge and the Edgeheads being drawn in so they can get beaten up too. Edge escapes so here is Vickie Guerrero (with an EXCUSE ME) to say that Edge and the Edgeheads are members of the audience so lawsuits could be filed. No worry though, because their justice will come when it’s Undertaker vs. Batista for the title next week, with the winner facing Edge at Backlash.

Overall Rating: C. Much like this week’s ECW, there wasn’t much to be seen here other than one match. These England shows tend to be more like that but the spectacle does often work. Things will be back to normal next week as Backlash gets closer and we head back stateside, but for now it’s one match worth seeing and little else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and the big story is the Undertaker defeating Edge in the show’s main event to get the World Title back. You can all but guarantee that won’t be it between the two, as a match like that is primed for rematches. Other than that, we might be seeing some new stars around here, which tends to be the case after Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going and none of them look happy. Edge has never been so upset as he felt he left everyone down. Most of all, he feels like he let Vickie Guerrero down but swears on their love that he will get the World Title back. Chavo Guerrero feels like he let La Familia down and says Kane cheated to beat him at Wrestlemania. Vickie, after a rather mild “excuse me”, says Edge and Chavo will get their next title matches at Backlash. As for tonight, their opponents can face each other, as it’s Kane vs. Undertaker.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title as the battle rages on. MVP drives him into the corner to start and fires off the shoulders to the ribs. A neckbreaker gets Matt out of trouble and they fight to the floor as Cole recaps this rather long feud. Back in and Matt drops an elbow for two and a clothesline has MVP outside again.

That doesn’t last long this time either as MVP hangs Matt over the ropes for something like a Nightmare On Helm Street to take over. MVP sends him outside in another heap and Matt goes into the announcers’ table to make it worse. We hit the reverse chinlock back inside before MVP goes simple by stomping on Matt’s face.

Back up and Matt goes after the knee (feels like some poetic justice), including wrapping it around the rope in the corner. More cranking ensues on the mat, followed by the Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is broken up but MVP’s knee is too banged up to try the running boot in the corner. Now the Twist of Fate can finish MVP off.

Rating: B-. This was a slower paced match than the two usually have but they both have the skills to have a quality match like this one. MVP almost has to lose the title to Hardy sooner than later as that is entirely the point of picking this feud up after such a long hiatus. Granted it won’t mean as much due to MVP’s consistent losing, but at least they are tying up the loose end.

Festus vs. Zack Ryder

Jesse and Curt Hawkins are here too. Before the match, Hawkins and Ryder didn’t have many nice things to say about Festus. The bell rings so Festus beats both of them up on the floor without much trouble. Back in and Festus beats on him in the corner as commentary talks about Snoop Dogg at Wrestlemania. A bunch of headbutts keep Ryder down but he manages some forearms to the face. The fall away slam sends Ryder flying though and a running knee makes it even worse. Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash but Festus can do the power stuff well enough to make it entertaining. If nothing else the flapjack looks like something that could wipe someone out, which is not something every finisher manages to accomplish. I’m a bit surprised that Ryder lost to someone who is little more than half of a comedy team, but maybe the reheating is upon us.

Long video on Ric Flair losing to force his retirement, plus his farewell.

Here is Shawn Michaels to address what he did to Ric Flair. Shawn talks about being face to face with Flair on Raw and feeling his eyes well up with tears. Cue Batista to interrupt though and he isn’t looking happy. Batista says that he isn’t over what happened to Flair yet, because he won’t get to see his friend wrestle again. Shawn says it killed him too but Batista doesn’t want to hear it.

Shawn talks about how Flair wanted his best and Batista would have done it too. Batista says not so fast and says that while Shawn had a job to do, Shawn doesn’t do jobs. If Shawn had laid down JUST ONCE, Flair would still be here. Because Shawn wouldn’t do the right thing, Batista will never ride with his best friend again. Does Shawn really see Flair as Old Yeller? Like some sick old dog? Batista walks away, still making it sound like Flair died.

Undertaker and Kane meet in the back but don’t say anything.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is an OVW mainstay while the debuting Kozlov comes to the ring to no music for a bit of an eerie vibe. Kozlov flips him over to start before firing off some kicks. The boot choke in the corner sets up a headbutt to the chest and a torture rack drop finishes Bentley fast. Total squash and impressive enough while it lasted.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz drives Yang into the corner to start but misses a clothesline. Moore comes in with a dropkick for one but it’s off to Morrison as there are a disturbing amount of empty seats opposite the hard camera. Morrison finishes fast with the flipping neckbreaker.

Post match Great Khali comes out to wreck everyone. Cue Big Show to say he is getting in Khali’s face instead, with Khali leaving again.

Here are Teddy Long and the owners of Beverly Hills Choppers to announce the winner of the Divas contest. Michelle McCool wins but here is Victoria to interrupt. Victoria says the contest was fixed and the brawl is on, but a mystery woman jumps Michelle from behind. Said mystery woman also knocks Cherry (here for the finals) down as well and leaves with Victoria. No name is given but you might know her better by her name in OVW: Nattie Neidhart.

Long Wrestlemania video.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Non-title. They shove each other around to start so Undertaker goes after the arm. Some arm cranking has Kane down until he powers out, only to have Undertaker take out the leg instead. With that not working, Undertaker switches back to the arm as Coach says they aren’t going as hard as usual due to not wanting to hurt each other.

Kane backs him into the corner for some shots to the face as the pace picks up fast. The slugout actually goes to Kane, who drops him with a big boot. The right hands in the corner just wake Undertaker up and the brawl heads to the floor. Back in and they fight over a chokeslam attempt until stereo big boots put them both down. They both sit up but here is La Familia to jump both of them for the double DQ.

Rating: C. This was little more than a way to have a big main event without having either champion lose. The match was barely a thing as they spent about half of it in slow motion, which did kind of make sense for the story they were telling. Thankfully they didn’t have either of them lose, so they were thinking here, even if the stakes were nonexistent.

Post match Undertaker and Kane fight back, including double chokeslams and Tombstones, to clear the ring and end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the pace going here and had a few debuts to go with the next steps in the big stories. Other than Batista’s weird way of talking about Ric Flair being gone, there wasn’t much that didn’t work here. While nothing was through the roof, it was a show that felt like it came in with momentum and then moved towards Backlash. Good, efficient show here and a great breath of air after the last few weeks.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 1, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with Wrestlemania and thankfully that means we have a new ECW Champion. Kane won the pre-show battle royal and then beat Chavo Guerrero in about ten seconds to win the title. That alone makes the show feel more important, but now we get to see where they go from here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Kane winning the battle royal and the title at Wrestlemania.

Here is Kane to recap winning the battle royal and the title at Wrestlemania. Kane says we haven’t seen anything yet, so here is CM Punk, with Money in the Bank briefcase, to interrupt. That earns him a threat from Kane, but Punk says he’s out here to say he’s a bit jealous. Punk explains the idea of Money in the Bank but here is Chavo Guerrero to interrupt. He’s getting the title match next because Kane’s title win was a fluke! Kane: “I beat you in eight seconds!”

Punk talks about how that has to be some kind of a record but Chavo laughs him off. Chavo promises to win the title back next time. For tonight though, it’s tag match time, with Chavo and Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane/Punk. Cue Shelton to say the only reason Punk is standing there is he got double teamed on Sunday. Punk calls Benjamin Goldilocks and says the one thing Benjamin can’t call himself is Mr. Money In The Bank. This was quite the wordy exchange.

Mike Knox vs. Stevie Richards

Knox takes him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs to start but Richards manages a trip to the floor. Richards’ dive off the apron is elbowed out of the air, followed by the bearhug back inside. A belly to back suplex cuts off Stevie’s comeback attempt but Stevie kicks his way out of trouble. Knox shrugs it off though and grabs a backbreaker, followed by the spinning Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty nothing match here as Knox is about as generic of a heel as you can get and Richards has been beaten into the ground. There isn’t much else that can be said about these two feuding, but for some reason they have been going back and forth for a few weeks now. Hopefully it wraps up soon, though neither is exactly interesting at the moment.

Video on the Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Tazz is in the ring with Colin Delaney, who says he didn’t get hurt at Wrestlemania. Next year though, he wants to be at Wrestlemania as part of the roster. Cue Armando Estrada to offer Delaney a contract….or not as it’s an April Fools joke. Delaney can have a contract, and all he has to do is win this match.

Colin Delaney vs. Big Show

Cobra clutch finishes Delaney in about 45 seconds. The spin when Show sent Delaney flying to let go of the hold was the best part.

We take a long look at Ric Flair retiring at Wrestlemania and the still outstanding farewell from Raw.

Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk/Kane

Punk cranks on Benjamin’s arm to start before handing it off to Kane. The basement dropkick gets two on Benjamin but it’s off to Chavo to kick at the leg. Kane scares Chavo over to Benjamin, who comes back in, only to be launched over the top. We take a break and come back with Kane and Punk taking turns kicking away at Benjamin in the corner.

Chavo comes back in and hits a quick jawbreaker but needs Benjamin to save him from the GTS. We hit the neck crank from Benjamin, followed by the double arm crank from Chavo. Punk finally fights out of the corner and bulldogs his way to freedom. Kane comes back in to start cleaning house, including a big boot to Benjamin. Chavo crotches Kane on top, only to have Punk hit the GTS on Benjamin for the pin.

Rating: C+. This got some time and felt far bigger than anything else on the show, despite not being that important of a match all things considered. Punk is pretty clearly on his way out of ECW, Chavo was destroyed at Wrestlemania and Benjamin is Benjamin. That leaves Kane, the already established monster, as the big deal for ECW and that doesn’t leave much reason to believe Chavo and Benjamin had a chance over fifteen minutes.

Overall Rating: C. The show still isn’t very good and feels miles beneath the two main WWE shows, but just having Kane as the top star, or at least champion, gives it more of a legitimacy. No one was buying Chavo as champion of anything but Kane could be a midcard champion on Raw or Smackdown without a bit of doubt. The rest of the show was nothing, but I can give them a break as everyone is still exhaling after Wrestlemania. If things stay like this next week then there’s a problem, but for a one off, it was ok enough.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 2008
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are finally done with Wrestlemania and the big story on the Raw side is the retirement of Ric Flair. Shawn Michaels, who does in fact love him despite making apologies for it, superkicked Flair to end his career last night in a rather emotional moment. Other than that, Randy Orton is still Raw World Champion but we can worry about what he is doing at Backlash later. It’s the Raw after Wrestlemania so this should be different. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Ric Flair losing to Shawn Michaels in a big, emotional moment.

Here is John Cena…..’s music to get us going. There’s no Cena, so we get HHH…..’s music instead, but no HHH. Instead here is Randy Orton in person to get things going. Orton talks about how no one gave him a chance going into Wrestlemania and the question was all about who was going to pin him to win the title. No one ever wanted to give him any credit but now they have to show him respect. He lists off all of the people he has beaten and says we are now in the Age Of Orton.

Cue JBL of all people to say he deserves the next title shot. Orton’s entire title reign has been about luck while JBL beat up Finlay and Hornswoggle at Wrestlemania. Orton can’t beat him and never will be able to do so. JBL announces his candidacy for the title and leaves, with Orton being livid. Cue Matt Hardy through the crowd to go after Orton with referees breaking it up.

Post break Matt Hardy rants to William Regal about how he wants Orton in the ring tonight.

Cryme Tyme vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme is back after being fired a few months ago. Cade hammers on Shad to start but a few shots break that up. JTG comes in for two off an Oklahoma roll but Cade blasts him with a clothesline. Cade drops Murdoch onto JTG for two more and the beating is on in the corner. Then Cade misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for the fast pin. Out of nowhere ending but the fans popped hard for Cryme Tyme’s return.

Video on Ric Flair’s career, which is still an awesome look back.

Here is a fairly somber Shawn Michaels for a chat. Shawn says he is a bit conflicted here, as he was asked to be Mr. Wrestlemania last night and he isn’t sure how he feels about that. He had a job to do last night and loved and respects Ric Flair to do anything less than his best. Now the greatest career in wrestling is over and he has to live with it. Shawn: “Lucky me.” And with that, he leaves.

Post break, William Regal tries to console Shawn, saying it had to be done and it should have been a long time ago. Regal leaves, and Batista is seen glaring at Shawn.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Cody and Kendrick have a feeling out process to start with Kendrick going to the ropes to escape the wristlock. Holly comes in and actually gets forearmed back by London. That’s about the extent of the odd though as Holly unloads on him with chops in the corner. Everything breaks down and Cody bulldogs Kendrick down, with London making the save. Holly and London are sent outside, leaving Kendrick to grab an O’Connor roll for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m never wild on champions losing but Holly and Rhodes have no one to fight and London/Kendrick had a lot more miles left in them. Even if this is just a quick title program, it’s better than sitting around doing nothing or facing Cade and Murdoch again. Not exactly a classic but it did what it needed to do.

We look at the Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat series.

Wrestlemania highlight package.

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Non-title. They go straight to the strikes with Jericho getting the better of it, setting up the front facelock. An exchange of rollups gets two each and Jericho clotheslines him down for two more. A backsplash (with Jericho grinning evily) sets up a chinlock with a knee in Punk’s back. As Lawler tries to remember the name Jean Claude Van Damme, Jericho misses the triangle dropkick but is fine enough to knock Punk off the apron.

Punk manages a neck snap across the top and the springboard clothesline hits Jericho in the back of the head. Punk’s dropkick misses but Jericho misses the Lionsault and bangs up his knee. Some kicks to the leg look to set up the GTS but Jericho reverses into the Walls attempt. With that not working, Jericho grabs the Codebreaker for the clean pin.

Rating: C+. That’s not a great start to Punk’s time as Mr. Money In The Bank but at least he has a get out of the midcard free card for later. Jericho is the Intercontinental Champion but still feels like he’s just kind of there. Granted just handing him the title because Jeff Hardy screwed up didn’t help things.

Ric Flair won the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Here is Big Show for a chat. Show congratulates Floyd Mayweather Jr. for needing a bunch of bodyguards, a steel chair and brass knuckles to remind the greatest fighter on the planet. For now though, Show is out here because of the Hall Of Fame. Ric Flair stood at the podium and said that despite facing Andre the Giant, Show was the greatest big man he ever faced. That meant the world to Show, who is going to go back to what he does best. He is going to make a promise….but gets cut off by Great Khali. We get the big showdown, Show tells him to get out of his face, and Khali does. Feels Backlashish.

Santino Marella is warming up before his anything goes match with Maria, who comes up and begs him to not go forward with the match. Santino mocks the Divas, saying they should be at home in the kitchen, making lunch and babies. He offers to let the match go in exchange for some other kind of release, earning a slap to the face. The match is on.

Matt Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Non-title. They go straight to the floor to start with Hardy getting the better of a brawl. Back in and Hardy sends him into the corner a few times before a neckbreaker gets two. We take a break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a chinlock so Orton slowly hammers away.

A belly to back superplex is broken up and Hardy’s moonsault press gets two. Hardy wins a slugout and grabs another neckbreaker. The middle rope legdrop doesn’t get to launch as Orton rolls outside, so Hardy dives onto him instead. There’s the Twist of Fate on the floor but it takes some time to get Orton back inside. So much time that Orton grabs the RKO back inside for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Hardy may not be quite the biggest star in the world at this point but he can still wrestle a completely decent, if not better, match. It helps that he lost to the World Champion, which is hardly some career killer. Nice enough TV match here, with Hardy working hard and Orton getting a win to keep his momentum going.

Dusty Rhodes praises Ric Flair’s career.

JBL glares at Randy Orton.

Maria vs. Santino Marella

Anything goes. Santino shoves her down to start so here are mot of the Divas to beat him up (Victoria seems to be twisting his nipples). Maria adds the falling low blow headbutt and gets the pin.

Here is Ric Flair for his big farewell speech. Flair will never wrestle again but he is not sad about it. You should be happy that he got to have the greatest career of all time and lost to a great wrestler and better man. He has had more fun and loved all of us every day of his life. Flair thanks the fans and goes to leave, but here is HHH to interrupt (Flair is already in tears).

HHH says a lot of people want to say thank you, starting with himself of course. Now that being said, there are some other people backstage who want to say thank you. There was one group of guys in the back and since HHH was talking to them, his hand keeps creeping up into four fingers. Cue the Four Horsemen (Tully Blanchard, JJ Dillon, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham) and Flair is just done.

This is followed by Batista, Ricky Steamboat, Harley Race, Greg Valentine, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho, John Cena (maybe not the best time for “Your time is up”), Flair’s family, and Shawn Michaels (with the camera catching a quick glare from Batista). HHH points out the matching watches Shawn and Flair have before just having the rest of the locker room come out.

After a long celebration and a lot of hugging, we get some bonus footage from after the show (brilliantly titles AFTER THE SHOW) with Undertaker coming to the ring. The wrestlers in the aisle part so he can walk by (that’s such a cool visual) and the ring clears out. Undertaker does the full entrance, including taking off the coat and hat, as Flair isn’t sure what is going on.

We get the hug and Undertaker drops to his knee for the pose to Flair in a great show of respect. Leave The Memories Alone plays and even Vince McMahon comes out for a hug of his own (despite starting all of this). Vince yanks Flair’s arm to hold it up for the posing before leaving the ring to Flair. The family gets back in and Flair gets to soak in a lot of cheering (and dropping the elbow/knee on his coat for old times’ sake) before walking up the aisle to his own music to end the show.

This was a very special moment and it felt like the kind of tribute that Flair deserved. Like him or not, Flair is one of the biggest names in modern wrestling and getting to see him getting this huge celebration was great. The amount of talent in the ring alone made this feel special, with the fact that they were there for one person making it even better. Awesome stuff and one of the best moments WWE has had in a long time.

Overall Rating: B. This was the post Wrestlemania Raw and while it didn’t have the big storyline moment, it did have the huge Flair tribute at the end and it felt like a special two hours. They can get to the bigger stuff next week, but for now we had a mixture of a deep breath after Wrestlemania and some stuff being set up for the future. Good show this week, with the Flair stuff more than carrying it to the next level.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 24, 2008
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home Raw for Wrestlemania and that means we aren’t likely to see much of anything this week. The midcard will likely get some focus and the triple threat will probably do some staring, but other than that, I’m not sure how much of a risk WWE wants to put the starts into this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how everything is coming to this Sunday when everything that we have gone through leads to one match. After everything else, Cena is looking pretty good to take the WWE Title….and here is Big Show to interrupt. Show promises to beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. at Wrestlemania, which will replace Hogan slamming Andre as the most iconic moment in WWE history.

Cue JBL to say his match will be memorable because there are no rules, meaning he can do anything he wants to Finlay. Cena: “I wasn’t listening to anything you said. I was thinking about how I beat your a** at Wrestlemania XXI.” Cue Randy Orton to interrupt, saying that some people have predictions about Wrestlemania, but no one thinks he is retaining the title. He feeds off of that doubt, and that is what people will be talking about after Wrestlemania.

Now it’s Umaga interrupting and actually taking the mic from Orton. Umaga says Batista and rants a lot until Cena says he is fluent in Samoan. Cena says Umaga talked about Orton being obsessed with boy bands but here is HHH to interrupt. HHH won’t say they’re wrong with everything they’re talking about, but Wrestlemania is about the WWE Title. It’s a good thing Wrestlemania is in an open air stadium because they would blow the roof off otherwise. Arguing ensues and here is William Regal to make the eight man No DQ main event, with Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair joining the good guys.

MVP/Carlito vs. CM Punk/Chris Jericho

MVP and Punk get things going with Punk quickly taking over and handing it off to Jericho. Carlito comes in as well and gets draped ribs first over the top as we take a break. Back with Jericho hitting the running crotch attack to Carlito but it’s too early for the Lionsault. Instead Jericho tries the Walls on an invading MVP but gets sent to the floor.

Back in and the double arm crank sets up a neckbreaker to give Carlito two. MVP grabs a neck crank but misses the running boot in the corner. It’s back to Punk to clean house as everything breaks down. Jericho comes in to try an enziguri but hits Punk by mistake, allowing MVP to grab the pin.

Rating: C. Take some people in the Money in the Bank ladder match, put them in a tag match and let them fight each other before the big match on Sunday. I’m not sure how much of an impact this is going to have, but how many other ways are there to build towards a ladder match? It also helps when you have this kind of talent in there, so the match was at least decent.

Mr. Kennedy promises to win Money In The Bank.

Video on Ric Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone by Fuel.

Video on Big Show’s training regimen for his match with Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Great Khali vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly goes after him to start but gets caught with the usual. The chokebomb finishes for Khali without much difficulty.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. He isn’t sure if he had Vince McMahon beat last week or not because Shawn Michaels had to interfere, despite Flair asking him not to. As of last week, Flair is losing respect for Shawn because he doesn’t think Shawn respects him. Flair invites Shawn out here right now, so here he is. Shawn is sorry to hear what Flair thinks, but Shawn could never lose respect for him.

The Flair that Shawn knows would always have backup and no matter what happens, Flair will always be the greatest of all time. Flair: “SHUT UP!” Flair goes on a rant about how he wants to prove he still has it….and whips out the NWA World Title. He first won the title in 1981 and if Shawn was 20 years younger, Shawn would have challenged him for it. Now it is 2008 and Flair has picked Shawn to show that he still has it one more time. Shawn promises to give him everything he has and on Sunday, Flair is getting in the ring with Mr. Wrestlemania.

That’s what Flair wants, but Shawn stops before leaving. Shawn talks about Old Yeller, and on Sunday, he is taking Flair out back and putting him out of his misery. That is WAY too far for Flair, who throws down the title and slaps Shawn in the face. Flair wants him to Old Yeller him right now, but Shawn promises to put Flair out of his misery and leaves. That is a direction for this story to go a long time before the match, but it is a different aspect to explore.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. training to face Big Show.

We look at Big Show on Late Night With Conan O’Brien.

Maria vs. Melina

Beth Phoenix is here with Melina and trips Maria early on. That brings out Ashley to even things up, followed by Santino Marella. Jerry Lawler is so sick of Santino that he gets inside too and it’s six person tag time, as per William Regal.

Maria/Ashley/Jerry Lawler vs. Santino Marella/Melina/Beth Phoenix

We ring the bell and take a break (erg) before coming back with Lawler punching Santino out of the air. A backdrop and dropkick have Santino in more trouble so it’s off to Melina vs. Ashley. That doesn’t last long as Maria comes in for a headscissors but she walks into a spinebuster. Maria slaps Santino as the guys fight to the floor. Phoenix chop blocks Maria down and Lawler sends Santino back in, where he pins Maria in a hurry. This was kind of a weird mess.

HHH comes up to John Cena and promises to win the title. Cena doesn’t think so, because he never lost the title and wants it back.

John Legend is playing America the Beautiful at Wrestlemania.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Video on the Raw World Title match at Wrestlemania.

Randy Orton/JBL/Umaga/Big Show vs. John Cena/Shawn Michaels/Ric Flair/HHH

Michaels and Orton get things going with Orton taking him into the corner for some right hands. The armbar goes on but here is Finlay to beat up JBL and brawl with him up the aisle. Back with Umaga beating up Shawn as this is now 4-3. The running hip attack hits Shawn in the corner but here is Batista to take Umaga out in the aisle.

They fight to the back as well, leaving Show to beat up the good guys. House is cleaned but Show doesn’t think much of Orton tagging himself in. That means a chokeslam to Orton but HHH and Cena get in a fight on the floor. Flair goes for the Figure Four on Orton so Shawn punches him out. That earns Shawn a low blow and Flair Figure Fours Orton for the tap.

Rating: C. Much like the other tag match, there was nothing else to be done here other than throw people into a big match where no one is in there too long but it still feels big. In other words, it’s the last match on this show before Wrestlemania and this was about as good as it could have gone. If you ignore Flair beating the World Champion of course.

Overall Rating: C. There isn’t much that you can do here as the Wrestlemania card is all set up and WWE didn’t want to mess with anything. What matters is having me want to see Wrestlemania more than I did coming in and that’s only kind of the case. It’s a very skippable week, but none of that is going to matter in six days.

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Smackdown
Date: March 21, 2008
Location: Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re almost to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what else there is to build around here. Last week’s main event was a weird combination of a Raw and Smackdown match which felt like a weird off ramp match. Odd are the focus will still be on Edge vs. Undertaker, which really doesn’t need it at this point. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recreation of Batista vs. Umaga in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008. Well that’s a change of pace.

Batista vs. Deuce N Domino

No Cherry this week as she is in the competition later tonight. Batista doesn’t look amused as he drives Deuce into the corner to start. A double team manages to take Batista down but he’s right back with an elbow to Domino’s face. Batista isn’t having that though and sends Deuce outside, setting up the Batista Bomb to finish Domino in a hurry.

Maryse comes up to see Cherry and can’t believe she’s still in the Divas competition. Look at the two of them: Maryse is a Diva but Cherry is a dog.

It’s time for the Divas Competition with Michelle McCool, Eve Torres, Cherry and Victoria left. This week’s competition is an arm wrestling contest so Victoria cheats to beat Eve, Michelle beats Cherry and Michelle beats Victoria. With that out of the way, Victoria is eliminated after last week’s fan vote. Instead of leaving, she gets in a fight with Michelle but gets sent outside.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Michael Buffer and Evander Holyfield talk about Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Big Show vs. Chase Stevens/Andy Douglas/Luke Hawx

Stevens and Douglas were the Naturals in TNA a few years earlier. Before the match, we see Chris Jericho talking about how Show’s right hand is going to make it Wrestlemania RIP for Mayweather. Destruction ensues and the big right hand finishes Stevens in less than a minute and a half.

Raven Symone will be bringing kids to Wrestlemania for Make-A-Wish. Cool.

Edge vs. Funaki

Non-title and the Edgeheads are here with Edge. Funaki seems to be taking this a bit more seriously than Edge, who knocks Funaki down fast. The stomping in the corner keeps Funaki in trouble until he manages an enziguri. Edge hits the spear but pulls Funaki up at two. Instead it’s a Tombstone and arm cross pin (with tongue) to finish for Edge.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick workout for Edge but the Tombstone was a nice touch. Edge knows how to get under people’s skin like no other and mocking Undertaker is the kind of mind game that he would play. Funaki is fine for something like this and they didn’t mess around by letting him get a near fall or anything unnecessary like that. Nothing match, fine use of time.

Post match Edge says he’ll win at Wrestlemania and promises to show us something by the end of the night.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge with MVP pointing to the Money in the Bank briefcase above the ring. Therefore, his guest this week is Chris Jericho, but first MVP wants to talk about the ladder underneath the briefcase. MVP brags about his career successes and how he has beaten so many World Champions. That means he is the next World Champion because he is better than everyone else in the match. Cue Jericho to interrupt and the fans certainly seem to approve.

Jericho is excited about being back on Smackdown for the first time in five and a half years, but he can’t stand a loudmouthed blowhard who can’t shut up with his own talk show. MVP mocks Jericho and Jericho is right back, pointing out that MVP could have had far worse initials (and yes, he has graphics spelling out some stupid names). That’s too far for MVP, who goes on a rant about how Jericho couldn’t save anyone from anything. He climbs the ladder and gets the briefcase….so Jericho turns said ladder over.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

They fight over the power to start with Palumbo actually taking over off an armbar. Kane fights up and hits the big boot as they head outside. They head back in, where Kane clotheslines him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane charging into an elbow in the corner…and here is Great Khali to go after Kane for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Thankfully they didn’t bother trying to make Palumbo a thing here as he stopped showing much potential a good while ago. Kane winning the battle royal and the ECW Title as a result would make good sense and there is a real chance that is where they are heading. Not much of a match, but what were you expecting with Palumbo in there?

Post match Khali beats both of them down but here is Mark Henry to interrupt. Henry World’s Strongest Slams Khali and stands tall.

Eddie Graham Hall of Fame video.

Tag Team Titles: Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Miz/Morrison are defending. The bell makes Festus snap and he hits Morrison in the face to start fast. An interfering Miz is knocked out of the air and some headbutts to Morrison’s back set up Jesse’s running neckbreaker. Miz gets in a cheap shot though and works on Jesse’s arm before choking on the rope.

Morrison’s chinlock is broken up as Jesse sends him into the corner, where Festus scares Morrison in a funny bit. Miz grabs another chinlock before Jesse neckbreakers his way out of Morrison’s….something. It’s back to Festus for the house cleaning before handing it off to Jesse again. That lets Morrison send Festus outside and the Reality Check retains the titles.

Rating: C-. We’re now to the point where Miz and Morrison have cleaned out the division, which granted doesn’t take that long when there are about four teams. Jesse & Festus need to either win the titles or find something else to do, as the novelty is kind of wearing off. This was mainly a chinlock match with Festus coming in to do his thing and then Jesse gets pinned. That’s only going to get you so far and we have reached that point.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and Edge/the Edgeheads are here with Chavo. Undertaker starts fast and knocks Chavo down without much trouble. Old School connects and Chavo is rocked early on. A distraction from the floor lets Chavo hammer away in the corner, only to have Undertaker LAUNCH him into said corner as well.

The side slam gives Undertaker two but another distraction sends him outside. This time Chavo manages a baseball slide from behind and the likely not very effective beating begins. Chavo grabs a short armscissors but Undertaker powers out in short order. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up a chokeslam and the Hell’s Gate to finish Chavo.

Rating: C. Chavo has to lose the title at Wrestlemania now as his big win in recent weeks has been over Colin Delaney. Other than giving him a win to make him into something a little bigger, his title reign has been pretty much nothing and that was on display here. Undertaker beating Chavo isn’t a bad thing, but the champ just lost in about five minutes in little more than a squash.

Post match Edge and the Edgeheads come in, each with a chair, and the huge beatdown ensues. The Conchairto leaves Undertaker laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s not a good sign when the best match on the show is Undertaker squashing Chavo Guerrero. The problem is the same as it has been for weeks now: Wrestlemania is set and all that Smackdown can do is fill in time on the way to Orlando. This show was just a bunch of filler with some build towards Wrestlemania, plus the bigger moment at the end. That’s a rough two hours, but none of that is going to matter nine days from now. Not a good show, but it doesn’t mean a thing anyway.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2008
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re still under special guest control as HHH is running things this week. This time around, that means John Cena and Randy Orton are going to be facing the entire roster, which probably isn’t going to go as described. At least it sounds different though and I’ll take that over more of the same. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel, with special guest…..the Intercontinental Title! Last week he won the title for the record setting eighth time, breaking the record of seven, which he held too of course. As for a human guest, here is Big Show, who also set a record for most times seeing a clip of someone punching him in the face. We look at Show tossing Floyd Mayweather Jr. over the top and onto his entourage last week, which Show calls a real highlight.

Show talks about how everyone knows Jericho is better in the ring than Mayweather and outweighs him by 50lbs, but Jericho couldn’t last two minutes with Show either. Jericho doesn’t think much of that but Show calls him WWE’s version of Mayweather: small, loud and in over his head. The challenge is thrown out for a title match tonight and, after an insult to his singing, Jericho is in. They kept this quick and that’s a good thing for a simple announcement.

Earlier today, Vince McMahon listed off a bunch of his accomplishments, but thinks ending Ric Flair’s career tonight would be even better. That’s why tonight, it’s Vince vs. Flair.

CM Punk vs. Carlito

Carlito starts fast and sends him outside before hitting a basement dropkick in the corner. A kick to the head gives Carlito two and we hit the double arm crank. Punk fights up and tries the springboard clothesline, which is dropkicked out of the air instead. The GTS attempt is countered as well and Carlito gets two off a neckbreaker. Back up and Punk manages a kick to the face before catching a springboarding Carlito in the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. This was, again, short and to the point, with Carlito taking over to start so Punk could make the comeback and win. That’s all you need to do at times as they gave the fans a popular star getting a victory. Perfectly watchable match that got two of the Money In The Bank stars in the ring before Wrestlemania.

Snoop Dogg is ready for Bunnymania and can’t bring himself to follow Santino Marella’s cue cards about how Maria shouldn’t have posed for Playboy.

Paul London and Brian Kendrick are in the ring when William Regal introduces their opponent, who will represent Raw at Wrestlemania.

Umaga vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Umaga doesn’t waste time to start and hits a double Samoan drop. London gets hit with the running hip attack in the corner but Kendrick rolls away before another can hit. The Samoan Spike finishes London fast as Kendrick seemed to walk off. I’d like to believe London and Kendrick have more, but they’ve been treated as nothing for months now.

William Regal and HHH are in the back, with HHH saying Randy Orton and John Cena can’t walk out on each other tonight. If Cena walks out, he’s out of the Wrestlemania match and if Orton walks out, he’s stripped of the title and Cena and HHH can fight over it instead. Regal asks why HHH doesn’t just make himself champion, but HHH say she wants to earn it.

We look at HHH getting hurt last year and missing Wrestlemania as a result. Now he’s back and wants the title again.

We look at Vince McMahon receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. And yes, he thanked himself.

Shawn Michaels is in the back and Ric Flair wants to know why he’s here. Flair thinks Shawn is here because he doesn’t want Vince McMahon to end Flair’s career tonight. He doesn’t want Shawn getting involved tonight because Vince has NO CHANCE of winning.

We see Finlay’s promo from Smackdown, where he says there are no words for what he is going to do to JBL at Wrestlemania.

Here is JBL for a match, but first he says that Finlay isn’t here due to Hornswoggle dealing with complications. Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, he is going to do something for the Irish (who made him rich) so he has found the second toughest Irishman in WWE: Colin Delaney!

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Colin Delaney

Some clotheslines from JBL set up the Clothesline From JBL for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says at Wrestlemania, Irish need not apply.

We recap Vince McMahon ordering that Ric Flair has to retire the next time he loses a match.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight so they go straight to the floor with Flair hammering away. They take it into the crowd but Vince manages to get it back to ringside for a posting. There’s a monitor to Flair’s head and yes, he is bleeding believe it or not. Vince hammers away and takes him back inside for two as JR is getting more than a bit over the top.

A trashcan, kendo stick and chair shot get two each, with Shawn Michaels coming in to pull the referee out at two. Shawn is immediately ejected (Why?) so Vince grabs a table. That takes too long though and Flair gets in some low blows. Vince is put on the table instead and a top rope splash through it gives Flair the win to stay alive.

Rating: C-. This felt like the same kind of street fight you usually see in WWE and of course Flair wasn’t going to lose less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania. A lot of this whole story has been about Flair getting to do something one more time and that includes beating up Vince. The match wasn’t any good, but Vince getting beaten up is always worth a glance.

Video on John Cena returning from injury early for the chance to go to Wrestlemania.

Jared from Subway is here and he gives Jerry Lawler a sandwich and drink.

Maria/Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall/Victoria

Before the match, Maria’s Playboy cover is unveiled over the Titantron. Cue Santino Marella to join commentary as Jillian jumps Maria to start. An enziguri gets Maria out of trouble and Candice comes in to kick Victoria down for two. Jillian makes a save but misses a 450, allowing Candice to hit an Unprettier for the fast pin.

Post match Santino goes on a rant, throws the drink in Lawler’s face and steals the sandwich. Ok then.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is ready for Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Big Show

Jericho is defending and gets kicked in the face to start. Jericho manages a few shots of his own and knocks Show over the top, only to get swung into the barricade. Back in and Show misses a Vader Bomb, allowing Jericho to dropkick him down. The Lionsault gets two so Jericho uses the belt for the fast DQ.

Rating: D+. What was that? They barely did anything before the lame ending, which was about the only way they had out of something like this. That being said, was there no one else they could put out there against Show besides the new Intercontinental Champion? That’s kind of an out there way of thinking and I really don’t get why Jericho was necessary here.

Post match Big Show knocks Jericho silly with one right hand. Ah, that’s what that was.

Kim Kardashian reads a script about Wrestlemania and ignores Big Dick Johnson.

Video on Randy Orton.

John Cena comes in to see Randy Orton, with the latter saying they should take a dive against the roster. Cena says no chance so Orton tries threatening him. That just makes Cena bring up their history and we get the big RAH RAH speech. HHH pops in to say it’s elimination rules, but he’s pulling for them.

John Cena/Randy Orton vs. Raw Roster

This is billed as 17-2, though outside of Umaga and JBL, it’s a bunch of lower level guys. Cena hammers on Snitsky to start but gets clotheslined down as the Roster takes up two full sides of the apron. Santino Marella comes in and misses a headbutt, allowing Cena to roll him up for a quick elimination. Trevor Murdoch is in next for a neckbreaker but Cena grabs a very fast STFU for the tap.

Cena brings Orton in for the RKO to get rid of Lance Cade even faster but Umaga runs both of them over as we take a break. Back with JBL taking Orton down for two as Super Crazy was eliminated at some point during the commercial. Cody Rhodes comes in to stomp away and it’s off to Paul Burchill for more of the same. The Roster takes turns beating on Orton, with one coming in for a few stomps and then leaving.

Orton grabs the backbreaker on Robbie McCallister, allowing Cena to come in with the top rope Fameasser for the pin. The FU to DH Smith and the RKO to Burchill and Val Venis get rid of three in a row, followed by Cena tossing Rhodes into another RKO for another elimination. That’s enough for the rest of the Roster to come in and jump Cena and Orton for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a match as much as it was an extended segment, with Cena and Orton either getting stomped or hitting a finisher. Other than Umaga and JBL, the Roster was comprised of a bunch of jobbers and Cena/Orton mowed down a good chunk of them without much trouble. It’s really nice to see something different than the same stuff we always see around and this was certainly unique compared to the usual stuff we see.

Post match Orton gets beaten down until Cena makes the save with a chair. Umaga takes Cena down but JBL grabs his own chair and hits Umaga by mistake, meaning the chase is on. With everyone else gone, HHH comes out to Pedigree both of them and hold up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much like Smackdown, Raw has reached the point where Wrestlemania is set and there isn’t much left to do before we get there. That makes for some rather different shows, including this one, which didn’t add much to the card other than firming up what is already there. Wrestlemania is looking good though and we should be in for a pretty solid show if they deliver on what has been set up.

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Royal Rumble 2014
Date: January 26, 2014
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The big story here is the rise of Daniel Bryan, who has gone from solid midcard guy to the people’s choice to win the Rumble.  However, Batista has returned and is basically the guaranteed winner of the Rumble, no matter what the fans want to see.  I can’t imagine this ends well.  Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws reunited as a nostalgia act and pinned the champs to earn this shot. Dogg and Cody get things going with Dogg hammering away, only to miss his Shake Rattle and Roll punch. Cody misses the Disaster Kick but sends both Outlaws to the floor. The champs hit dives on the Outlaws as we take a break. Back with Goldust in trouble as Dogg puts on a chinlock.

The Outlaws double team Goldust for a bit until he hits a jumping sunset flip for two on Dogg. Gunn charges into a powerslam and there’s the hot tag to Cody. A missile dropkick drops both Outlaws and Cross Rhodes plants Dogg for two with Billy making the save. Gunn makes a blind tag and hits a Fameasser on Cody for the big upset win.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener and the fans were into the nostalgia. The Outlaws were only transitional champions anyway as the Usos would get the belts before Wrestlemania. Cody and Goldust had them back before the year was over too so no one was really hurt by this.

The opening video talks about working to achieve your dreams. Sometimes there’s a very thin line between almost getting there and getting everything you want. We also focus on Orton vs. Cena because that’s the real main event here. The Rumble itself gets a quick mention too.

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Daniel joined the Wyatt Family on the last Raw of the year but then rejected them a few weeks later, leading to one of the loudest YES chants you’ll ever hear. Bryan punches out of the corner to start but Bray drives knees into his ribs and blasts him with an elbow. That’s fine with Bryan as he kicks the knee out but has to go after Bray’s followers Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. A suicide dive drops Harper but the referee ejects both monsters.

Bray huddles with his Family on the floor, allowing Daniel to take him down with a plancha. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Wyatt but he chops Daniel off the middle rope and out to the floor. Bray charges at Daniel but drives the bad knee into the steps to put him back down again. Back in and Daniel starts kicking at the leg before snapping off a dragon screw leg whip. A modified curb stomp gets two for Bryan but Bray drives him back into the corner.

They slug it out to the apron with Wyatt snapping Daniel’s shoulder down in a big crash. Back in and Bray hits his release suplex slam and we hit the chinlock. Bray puts Daniel’s head against the post and drives in forearms to follow up on Bryan’s recent concussion. Back in again and a kick to the face gives Bray a few near falls. A big release Rock Bottom plants him again and Bray does his Spider Walk out of the corner. Bryan finally avoids an elbow drop and hits a running clothesline.

Some kicks stagger Bray and a drop toehold sends him into the middle buckle. Daniel kicks away in the corner and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. Another running clothesline is countered by a running elbow to the chest as Bray takes over again. Bryan low bridges him to the floor and hits a running tornado DDT off the apron. A running dropkick sends Bray into the barricade and a missile dropkick puts Wyatt down in the ring.

The YES Kicks get two but Bray turns him inside out with a clothesline for two. Sister Abigail is countered but Bray bites his way out of the YES Lock. Daniel scores with more kicks and hits a top rope splash but Bray ducks to the floor to avoid the running knee. The Flying Goat is blocked though and Bray hits Sister Abigail into the barricade to knock Bryan silly. Back in and another Sister Abigail is good for the pin.

Rating: A. This was considered a match of the year contender and it’s easy to see why. These two beat the tar out of each other with each move getting harder and harder than the previous. Bryan lost here but came out looking like a star. Bray on the other hand looks like a killer and that’s exactly what he’s supposed to be.

Paul Heyman says Brock Lesnar is going to challenge the winner of Orton vs. Cena for the World Title. However, first he has to make an example out of Big Show.

Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is here.

The expert panel of Jim Duggan, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair aren’t sure who to pick between Lesnar and Big Show.

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

These two have had a feud for years and this time Big Show has been getting the better of it through pure power. Lesnar takes Show down before the bell and pounds on him with fists and then a chair. As Big Show is down, Lawler says Big Show gave Lesnar his first loss at the 2002 Royal Rumble, which would be three months before Lesnar debuted. We get the opening bell with Lesnar getting another chair but Show nails him with the KO Punch. Lesnar is rocked and Show takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and Big Show loads up another KO but Lesnar ducks and throws him up for the F5 for the easy pin.

Lesnar beats on him with the chair even more after the match. He’s broken two chairs over Show’s back.

Shield says they have 27 enemies tonight and it’ll be the three of them left standing. Only one of them can stand tall at the end but Reigns thinks he has the winning number. He won’t say what it is though. Dean offers to tell him his if Reigns tells his. Dean: “What if I have two numbers? I have ALL the numbers!” They agree to believe in the Shield.

Orton says he’s going to beat Cena and put him to the back of the line. Renee Young asks about Batista, Brock Lesnar and Bray Wyatt wanting title shots but Orton laughs it off and calls Wyatt a deranged hillbilly Duck Dynasty reject.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. This is more about their short term history, focusing on the titles being unified back in December. Orton seems to be cracking under the pressure of being champion and even attacked Cena’s father at Raw recently.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

No countout and no DQ with Orton defending.. The fans loudly chant for Daniel Bryan before and after the bell. They hit the mat and the fans are already bored less than twenty seconds in. Cena fights up and gets two off a bulldog but charges into an elbow in the corner. Now a Randy Savage chant starts up and Orton stops for a second before kicking Cena even more.

Off to a chinlock as the fans chant for Y2J. After fighting out, Cena catches on and tries a Boston crab. Orton kicks him to the floor during a brief Undertaker chant and now it’s just the standard boring chant. A clothesline puts Orton back outside but he sends Cena into the steps. Back in and a DDT gets two for Orton as the fans just say both guys suck. Cena comes back with shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb, only to take too long jawing and walk into a powerslam for two.

A half nelson slam into a neckbreaker gets two for Cena but he gets caught on top. He headbutts his way out though and hits the top rope Fameasser for two. Orton counters the AA attempt into his backbreaker for two as the fans have calmed down a bit. The Elevated DDT off the apron to the floor gets two more on John. Orton’s RKO is countered into the STF but Randy is too close to the ropes. He grabs the ropes to block an AA as well but the refereee gets bumped.

There’s the STF again and Orton taps but there’s no referee. Orton uses the opportunity to nail Cena with a title belt for two. He stands around too long again though and takes an AA for two more. The RKO gets the same and now the fans want Divas. Orton misses the Punt but pulls Cena down into an STF. John counters that into a Crossface but Orton rolls into a cover for two.

Back up and Orton hits Cena with an AA, followed by Cena grabbing an RKO for another near fall. With nothing left to do, Cena loads up a middle rope AA but has to settle for a tornado DDT. The STF goes on in the middle of the ring….we’ve got Wyatts. The lights go out and come back on to reveal all three on the apron. Cena goes after them but walks into an RKO to keep the title on Orton.

Rating: B. This matchup has suffered from brand damage. We’ve seen it so many times over the years that even if the match is good, like it was here, people just do not want to see it. The guys got the crowd to calm down a bit about halfway through the match, but there’s just nothing left to see from these two. They’re both hard workers and try every time they’re out there but the interest is just gone.

The fans chant for Bryan as the Wyatts destroy Cena even more.

Tribute video to the recently passed away Mae Young.

The New Age Outlaws celebrate but tell Renee that she isn’t invited to the party.

We get some classic Rumble promos.

Miz will win because he’ll do whatever it takes to headline Wrestlemania again.

The Usos are cool with having to fight each other.

Intercontinental Champion Big E. says headlining Wrestlemania is where it’s at.

Fandango thinks he’s the only one worthy to headline the big dance.

Batista just says exactly.

Damien Sandow says it’s insane to try the same thing and expect different results. He won’t make the same mistake again.

Ryback says there are 29 superstars and one Human Wrecking Ball.

Mysterio will shock the world again.

The expert panel makes their picks. Duggan likes Ziggler, Shawn goes with Shield or Punk and Flair takes Batista.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Punk at #1 (as ordered by Kane) and Seth Rollins at #2. Punk takes him into the corner to start for some shoulders to the ribs. Some kicks stagger Rollins but he comes back with a big kick of his own. A clothesline drops Rollins again but he pops back up with an enziguri. Both guys are down as Damien Sandow is in at #3. The fans loudly chant for Punk as he DDTs Sandow and drops Rollins with a neckbreaker at the same time.

The heels stomp Punk down until Cody Rhodes is in at #4. Cross Rhodes plants Sandow but Rollins stops an elimination attempt. Punk dumps Damien a few seconds later though and it’s time for Rollins to get double teamed. Kane comes in at #5 and cleans Punk’s clock. He loads up the chokeslam but Punk kicks him in the head for a surprise elimination. The debuting Alexander Rusev is in at #6.

Rusev kicks Rollins and Rhodes in the face but can’t eliminate either guy. Instead he just beats everyone up until Jack Swagger is in at #7. It’s Swagger vs. Rusev now but everyone opts to gang up on Rusev instead. Cody and Swagger break off and Kofi Kingston is in at #8. Everyone fights by the ropes until Jimmy Uso is in at #9. The announcers are noticing how fast the clock is going by.

Jimmy goes after Kofi in the corner as Rusev works on Swagger. Punk puts Rusev in a sleeper and Goldust is in at #10, giving us a group of Punk, Rollins, Goldust, Cody, Jimmy, Swagger, Kingston and Rusev. Goldust hammers away until Rusev nails him in the jaw. A group of people gang up on Rusev and dump him out, which isn’t quite a great debut for him. Kofi gets thrown out as well but Rusev catches him in mid air. He drops Kofi on the barricade and it’s time for the great return. Kingston stands up, uses the barricade as a balance beam and jumps back to the apron in a pretty cool save.

US Champion Dean Ambrose is in at #11 and goes right after Punk. Things slow down again and Dolph Ziggler is in at #12. The fans are entirely behind Dolph as the ring is getting too full. Punk has to hang onto the apron as R-Truth comes in at #13, only to be dumped in about thirty seconds by Ambrose. Rollins knocks out Jimmy and Kofi steals Swagger’s boot while literally hanging on by his feet. Jack comes over to him but gets nailed by the boot as Kofi gets back in.

Kevin Nash makes a required return at #14. He eliminates Swagger with ease and goes after Ambrose and Rollins. Punk has Ziggler dangling but Dolph gets his feet back in. Roman Reigns completes the Shield at #15, giving us Punk, Rollins, Rhodes, Kingston, Goldust, Ambrose, Ziggler, Nash and Reigns. Roman cleans house with punches and spears before launching Kofi out.

Ziggler puts Roman down with a DDT but eats a spear to cut him in half. Reigns throws Ziggler out with ease and the fans suddenly hate him. Nash gets the same treatment as Reigns now has three eliminations in less than two minutes. Great Khali is in at #16 and goes after the Shield but gets tossed by Reigns. Goldust eliminates Cody to make up for the last two years but Reigns gets rid of Goldust a second later. That leaves the Shield alone with Punk but Sheamus returns after being out six months with an injury at #17.

Sheamus cleans house and gives Dean the ten forearms followed by an Irish Curse to Rollins. Reigns eats a Brogue Kick as Miz is in at #18. Punk is just laying in the corner and making almost no effort to get back up. Miz hammers away on Reigns in the corner and Fandango is in at #19. The entire crowd starts doing his dance but Miz sends him to the apron in just a few seconds. Fandango gets back in though as Shield slowly takes over again. Reigns motions to Punk in the corner but doesn’t go after him. Punk hasn’t moved from there in at least five minutes now.

El Torito is in at #20, giving us Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Miz, Fandango and Torito. Of course the bull cleans house until Punk stands up. Punk grabs him by the head but takes a headscissors, only to have Fandango run Torito over. The referee checks on Punk as Torito dropkicks Fandango out. Reigns catches Torito with ease and dumps him out for his sixth elimination. Punk gets back up as Cesaro is in at #21. He immediately starts swinging Miz but Shield breaks up a Swing attempt on Punk. Instead Rollins gets swung a ridiculous THIRTY TIMES. Luke Harper is in at #22 as Reigns spears Cesaro down.

Rollins and Cesaro slug it out until Jey Uso is in at #23. The brawling slows down a bit now and JBL is in at #24. Cole: “The JBL character has never entered the Royal Rumble.” Good grief. JBL wears his full suit into the ring but asks Cole to go get his jacket, allowing Reigns to dump him out. Fans: “YOU STILL GOT IT!” Erick Rowan is in at #25 as JBL tries to talk about ANYTHING but being in the Rumble. Rowan kicks Miz out to clear things up a bit but everything slows back down again.

Harper tosses Jey Uso but the Wyatts turn around to see the Shield. Ryback is in at #26 and goes right for Cesaro as the fans chant Goldberg. Alberto Del Rio gets lucky #27 and things slow down yet again. Batista is in at #28 and the fans just rip him apart. He quickly dumps Rowan and has a staredown with Ryback before dumping him as well. Del Rio, the man who has been going after Batista since he returned, superkicks him down but gets lifted into the air and dumped with ease.

Intercontinental Champion Big E. is in at #29 to almost no reaction but the fans like him for suplexing Batista. The fans are chanting for Bryan and get even louder as the countdown clock comes on. The clock runs out….and it’s Rey Mysterio. To say the fans aren’t pleased with this is the understatement of the year. We’re going to pause for a second here and look at this.

First of all, Rey Mysterio is a fine choice for #30 in the Royal Rumble. He’s a multiple time World Champion, he’s held nearly every title in WWE history, he’s going to be in the Hall of Fame one day, he’s the most successful cruiserweight of all time, he’s won the Royal Rumble before and he’s one of the most popular wrestlers ever. However, he’s not the right choice for this spot.

There are two schools of thought here. The first and more prominent is that WWE just did not understand the fans and thought they would accept Batista as the big star making his return and embrace him with open arms. Then they heard the reaction and changed course to make Wrestlemania all about Daniel Bryan. The other school of thought is Bryan not being in the Rumble was planned from the beginning, they knew where they were going at Wrestlemania the entire time and the stories about Orton vs. Batista headlining the show were false rumors. I’m in the middle on that but I lean more towards the second.

Now Bryan didn’t have to win the Rumble here. You could have had a bunch of different ways to get rid of him, even down to having Kane run out and eliminate him if need be. However, he should have been in the main event. It makes sense that he at least has a chance to be in there, even if it’s just to get screwed over again.

Anyway, we have a final grouping of Punk, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro, Harper, Batista, Langston and Mysterio. Rey hurricanranas Punk to the apron as the fans are booing the heck out of the match. Sheamus clotheslines Langston out to end his worthless Rumble. Cesaro hammers on everyone in sight and Rey hits the 619 on Rollins just to make everyone even madder. Rollins enziguris Rey out for a nice pop and we’re down to eight.

Dean and Seth put Harper on the apron but Reigns Superman Punches him out to give him eight eliminations. Ambrose tries to put out his Shield mates but Cesaro jumps he and Rollins. That’s fine with Reigns who dumps Cesaro, Rollins and Ambrose all at once to tie Kane’s record for eliminations in a single Rumble.

We’re down to four now and everyone hits a finisher. Reigns takes the GTS but Kane sneaks in to eliminate Punk. That would be Punk’s last WWE match to date. Kane goes off on Punk outside and chokeslams him through the announcers’ table. We’re down to Sheamus, Batista and Reigns but all three are down. Another Daniel Bryan chant starts up as Batista takes over, turning it into a NO chant.

Sheamus cleans house and points at the sign before loading up a Brogue Kick. He misses Batista though and gets backdropped to the apron. Reigns elbows Sheamus out to set a new Rumble record for eliminations with twelve. That leaves Reigns vs. Batista and all of a sudden everyone is a Reigns fan. Reigns wins a slugout and clotheslines Batista down as the people chant for Roman. Batista comes back with his own horrible spear, only to have Reigns show him how it’s done….and then get thrown out a few seconds later to send Batista to Wrestlemania.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t a very good Rumble though its moments. Batista came in at the wrong time and it killed any kind of comeback he could have had. The fans did not want to see what the company was offering them at this point and they let them know about it. In their defense though, this Rumble was kind of awful. The comedy and returns felt forced, Rusev’s debut went nowhere and they might as well have given it to Batista and put on an hour of Mighty Mouse cartoons to save everyone’s time. It’s not a good match but the crowd reaction is certainly interesting.

Batista is booed out of the building as we see a highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The Rumble really hurts this show as it drags down two good matches and an entertaining Lesnar squash. The problem is that’s the lasting memory of this show: the fans booing the heck out of Batista as WWE seemed to think he was exactly what WWE wanted. The show isn’t horrible but it leaves a really bad taste in your mouth.

Ratings Comparison

New Age Outlaws vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

Original: C

Redo: C

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

Original:A

Redo: A

Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original:B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original:B

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original:A

Redo: D+

Hokey smoke that’s quite the drop.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/01/26/royal-rumble-2014-the-night-the-crowd-died/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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