The show is tomorrow and the Rumble I’m watching is really boring so let’s get to it.Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way:

Cesaro retains and the Scholars get the title shot.  Those are about as obvious as you can get.

As for the other four matches, all of them could really go either way.

I’ll take Barrett to win the title, as Kofi really has nothing left to do with it.  He’s the king of the transitional champions, so losing to Barrett is what he’s designed for here.

The TLC match is a very tricky one as you can’t imagine the Shield can hang with these three guys in a match with no advantage, but at the same time you don’t want the Shield to go down in their first match.  I’ll go with Shield to add more members and win.

Now the next two matches are connected, as it’s going to depend on which order they go in and who wins which one.  I’ll go with Sheamus to win the title, but for Big Show to lay him out afterwards, allowing Ziggler, the winner of the ladder match, to cash in and win.  That’s a BIG stretch and if I’m wrong I won’t be surprised in the slightest.

Overall this show is usually pretty fun and this one should be as well, but the booking is very hard to predict.  Also as usual, everything is capped off by Rock next month anyway, making this show really just a pit stop on the way.

Thoughts/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: December 14, 2012
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before TLC and most of the show is set. We’ve got Big Show vs. Sheamus not being able to fight each other (despite having dark matches at these TV tapings) until their chairs match on Sunday. We’ve also got the potential of the Shield attacking again which should be interesting for the most part. Other than that it’s likely to be another dull show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of Raw with the massive brawl between Shield, HELL NO, Ryback, Cena, Show, Sheamus and Ziggler. We also cover the major feuds going into Sunday.

Big Show vs. R-Truth

Sheamus and Cesaro are both on commentary. Show pounds away on him to start and beats him into the corner with a shot to the ribs. We head to the floor where Truth gets beaten up even more, including being bounced off the ropes to crash onto the floor. Cesaro looks to interfere but Sheamus shoves him back into his chair. After Show yells at Sheamus a bit, Truth FINALLY gets his feet up in the corner and chokes Show a bit. Show misses an elbow and Truth hits the ax kick for two. The Little Jimmy is countered and the WMD gets the pin for Show at 4:44.

Rating: D. Nice to see a guy that is treated as someone who doesn’t have much of a chance to win the title on Sunday getting destroyed here on Smackdown. Truth got in like two kicks and that’s the extent of his offense here. In other words, the #1 contender to the US Title is being treated like a jobber. Why is anyone surprised the midcard titles mean nothing?

Show gets in Sheamus’ face post match and Cesaro jumps Sheamus from behind, sending him into Show. Show laughs and shouts that Sheamus touched him so the match is off.

Post break Show tries to talk Booker into calling off the match because of Sheamus hitting him. Booker says that it was because of Cesaro so the match is still on. What an excessively pointless segment.

Here’s Damien Sandow (with what sounds like new music) to search for an apprentice. Instead of looking tonight though, he brings out Cody for their match. Cody’s mustache gets another chant which is at least a reaction for him. Cody starts to talk about Miz but the Usos’ music cuts him off.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos

This is joined in progress after a break with Jimmy hitting a clothesline on Cody. Off to Jey who gets distracted by Sandow, allowing Cody to crank on the arm. Sandow comes in and drops a knee for two. We hear about Sandow graduating from high school at 12 and being valedictorian. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two and here’s Cody again. After a release from suplex, Rhodes hooks a seated full nelson.

JBL talks about how Cody’s mustache looks (JBL: “He looks like a bowed up Freddie Mercury.” Josh: “I’ll have to Google him later.”) until it’s a hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Jimmy loads up the splash but Cody crawls over to Sandow for the tag. Everything breaks down and Sandow rolls up Jimmy for the pin with a handful of tights at 3:52.

Rating: C-. JBL’s mustache lines made this match better but it was fine in its own right. This was about giving the Scholars momentum going into Sunday and it did that well enough. The one thing I really liked here was Josh mentioning Sandow’s background. Making up stuff about characters is a great way to push them forward, yet for some reason it’s been decided that such an idea is evil. I’d love to see it make a comeback.

Show talks to Otunga about the no contact clause.

Here are Show and Otunga in the ring for another legal issue because we haven’t had one of those angles in a few months. David talks about how Booker is clearly biased and they’re going to the Board of Directors. Otunga is going to demand that the chairs match be called off and that Booker be thrown out as GM. Booker comes out and says that the match is still going to happen, but Otunga says that just because Booker was in prison it doesn’t make him a legal expert. Also they’re going to get Sheamus fired too.

Cue Sheamus with a chair and a microphone. He says if there’s no match, there’s nothing stopping him from beating up Show right now. Show, the ferocious monster, says the contract is still valid and the match is still on. You know, because THE BIG SHOW has to be a coward heel as well. Brogue Kick lays out Otunga.

We get a clip of Orton destroying Brad Maddox two weeks ago. They might as well show the whole match as it wasn’t even 90 seconds long. This led to the Shield attacking Orton

We come back from a break to see Orton being destroyed by the Shield after apparently putting him through a table. I believe he has a wrist injury so there’s his exit off TV. Orton is injured. Imagine that.

Kaitlyn vs. Aksana

Aksana hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a headlock to take over on the mat. Kaitlyn fights up and flips Aksana forward but can’t break the hold. Some forearms get two for Aksana and it’s off to a chinlock. Josh keeps asking why the Shield would do that to Orton, causing JBL to go into a hilarious rant against Josh, telling him to take his spiky hair and go ask them.

Back to the chinlock by Aksana which can’t even be broken by a side slam. This match has been going on for three and a half minutes and Aksana has had a head/chinlock on for about three minutes out of that. Kaitlyn comes back with forearms and a beal to set up a gutbuster for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D-. This had to be a rib right? Aksana was basically no selling everything that Kaitlyn did to her by not letting go of that hold, which doesn’t really do any good for anyone here. The Divas are somehow getting worse over time, which completely boggles my mind. Aksana may very well be the worst in ring working chick I’ve ever seen. Let that sink in for a bit.

Orton has a separated shoulder and might have a concussion.

Here’s MizTV with special guests HELL NO. Bryan says that he doesn’t want to talk about how he’s feeling, because it’s time to unleash all of the anger that he apparently has in him. He’ll do that on Sunday with tables, ladders and chairs. When the Shield is begging for mercy, Bryan is going to tell them NO. Kane talks about looking forward to using everything they can on Sunday and Bryan says YES they will.

The champions are cut off by another Joker style promo from the Shield, who say you can ask Randy Orton what happens when you mess with the Shield. They say Bryan can’t hide behind Kane and that the sword of justice will be served. Kane says why wait until Sunday and Shield says they agree. Miz is gone as Kane and Bryan look for the Shield. They’re in a sky box and slowly come down, but cue Ryback before Shield can make it to the ring. Shield turns and walks away.

Great Khali/Hornswoggle/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players

Titus vs. Khali to start things off with Khali chopping him down quickly. Young gets a chop as well before it’s off to Horny for some comedy spots on O’Neal. Young comes in to try to take over on Horny as Josh doesn’t know who Harpo Marx is. Tyson comes in but is almost immediately stomped down. Primo gets in some shots before it’s off to Epico who gets two off a slingshot elbow. Natalya and Rosa get in a fight on the floor as Primo gets two off a dropkick. In a cool ending, Tyson tries a sunset flip but Primo falls on top in a cover, but Kidd rolls backwards into a sunset flip for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. I really would love it if Kidd and Gabriel could do something other than fill in spots in a stupid tag match like this. Khali and Horny are your usual opposites tag team who do nothing new but are there for the kids and the heels are all relatively entertaining. For some reason this is the best spot that Kidd and Gabriel can get. Welcome to modern day WWE.

Post match Horny dives on Titus and has to be saved by Kidd and Gabriel.

Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio takes him into the corner to start as JBL talks about how awesome his Spanish is now. Kofi speeds things up and does his double leapfrogs before hooking an armbar. Del Rio takes it to the mat to take over before missing a charge in the corner. Ten punches in the corner stagger Del Rio and a European uppercut gets two for Kingston. Alberto works on the back and arm for a bit before Kofi climbs the corner and hits a top rope chop. The Mexican is sent to the floor and Kofi hits a big dive to take him out. Del Rio shoves him into the post on the apron as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio putting on a reverse chinlock which doesn’t last that long. Almost none of the spots or holds in this match are lasting long at all. Kofi tries to speed things up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Alberto loads up Trouble in Paradise (you read that right) but Kofi sends him into the corner instead. Del Rio does the exact same thing to take over again before hitting the running enziguri for two. Back to the reverse chinlock for a few moments, followed by a belly to back suplex for two on Kofi. Out of nowhere, Kofi escapes another belly to back into a rollup for the pin at 8:37 shown of 12:07.

Rating: D+. Alberto Del Rio is very uninteresting. He’s long since reached one of the worst points you can reach in wrestling: he’s just there. There’s nothing going on with him but he keeps appearing on TV to remind you that he does in fact still exist. I’ve heard rumors of turning him face, but unless they give him a character, nothing is going to come from it.

Kofi goes to the ramp and ducks a charging Barrett before kicking him in the face.

The Raw ReBound is Ziggler’s promo from the opening of the show, the interaction with Show vs. Sheamus, AND most of the match with Ziggler vs. Sheamus. I’m very curious if they aired the whole thing on the regular broadcast as the international broadcast that I watch is often changed. Upon watching the regular version, it is indeed different. Instead of the match, it’s a LONG recap of the entire Cena vs. Ziggler buildup. That’s rather interesting.

We run down the PPV card.

Now we look at the Sheamus/Show/Otunga segment from earlier.

Regal is in the back with Show and says stay calm but don’t take Cesaro lightly. Sheamus says he’ll lay Show out on Sunday with chair shot after chair shot.

Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cesaro rams into him to start, knocking Sheamus down. Sheamus does the exact same thing and it’s a standoff. Apparently Orton doesn’t have a concussion. Sheamus hits a shoulder in the corner and a running knee lift for two. Antonio tries to jump over Sheamus out of the corner but gets caught in a Regal Roll for two instead. Sheamus gets sent to the floor but gets caught with a knee coming back in.

Off to a kind of chinlock by Antonio, followed by a European uppercut to the back of Sheamus’ head for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same in an impressive display of strength. They slug it out with Sheamus taking over, including a top rope shoulder for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes….and here’s Big Show on the stage with an injured Regal in front of him. Sheamus goes to get him but Show cracks Regal with a chair. Cesaro wins via countout at 7:24 to end the show.

Rating: C+. Cesaro continues to impress and it’s a good sign that they’re keeping him this strong. Truth has zero chance of taking the title on Sunday and that’s a good thing, as Cesaro isn’t quite ready for the main event yet but he’s making a strong champion. Other than that, Sheamus could indeed win the title back on Sunday and this loss allows for him to be kept strong while advancing the title match as well. Good little main event here.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was like a car that kept trying to start but it couldn’t quite get going. They did a decent job of setting up the PPV, but at the same time there was a lot of filler in this. Some of the matches felt like they were just there to fill in time, but on top of that we had the show contained angle of Show trying to get out of the title match. That added more or less nothing other than making Show look like a coward which seemed to be forgotten by the ending.

It’s almost like they have no idea what to do with the huge roster they have and throw out random things that are somewhat related to their active stories to fill time. Nah that can’t be right. I clearly just don’t get the nuances of the stories they’re telling. Decent go home show this week but not a good show overall if that makes sense.

Results

Big Show b. R-Truth – WMD

Rhodes Scholars b. Usos – Rollup to Jimmy with a handful of tights

Kaitlyn b. Aksana – Gutbuster

Hornswoggle/Great Khali/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel b. Epico/Primo/Prime Time Players – Sunset Flip to Primo

Kofi Kingston b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Antonio Cesaro b. Sheamus via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 10, 2012
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for TLC and the main event has been changed to the six man tag instead of the regular TLC match due to Punk’s knee injury. Other than that we’ve got more Cena vs. Ziggler stuff tonight as the focus is going to be on getting ready for Sunday. Hopefully unlike last night’s TNA PPV, we can actually have something happen at TLC. Let’s get to it.

After the usual voiceover, here’s Ziggler on a ladder in the middle of the ring. He says tonight he’s here to talk about the numbers six and fifteen. It’s six days until TLC and fifteen days before Christmas. Cena has already cashed in one case and lost, but he still gets shot after shot after shot. Ziggler is going to cash in and become the best world champion ever.

Cue Sheamus who spends about two minutes talking and says he’ll win and Ziggler will lose on Sunday. Show comes out and says both of them are delusional and that he’ll beat either of them. Sheamus says he can’t attack Show before Sunday, but he can have contact with someone else. He shoves Ziggler off the ladder and out to the floor. Nice guy that Sheamus.

Vince is here.

R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett

Kofi and Cesaro are on commentary. Before the bell though, here’s a nearly dancing Vince. Vince hypes up the main event tonight and brings out Vickie to praise her for the main event she made. However, we need a second main event. Vince prods her into making Sheamus vs. Ziggler. That’s STILL not enough though because he wants a third main event. Vickie comes up with AJ in a handicap match but Vince changes it to AJ vs. Vickie. Yep, we have a blowoff match….I hope.

Barrett takes him to the floor to start as there are probably fifteen ladders spread around the arena. Kofi lists off his resume as Barrett stops Truth’s comeback. The pumphandle slam is countered into a rollup for the pin for Truth at 1:50. Yep, I totally buy Barrett as a threat to Kofi now.

Kofi hits a springboard cross body to Barrett post match.

AJ is REALLY excited about the match tonight and tells everyone about it. She goes to find Cena and goes into the locker room. Comedy ensues because she isn’t supposed to see some stuff.

Prime Time Players vs. Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos vs. Epico/Primo

Eliminations rules here and the winners get to face Mysterio and Cara in a tables match on Sunday. The winners of THAT get a title shot. I’ve heard stupider stipulations. Jey and Epico start but it’s quickly off to Jimmy who gets two off a double elbow. Primo comes in for an enziguri (that part clearly missed)/downward spiral combo which thankfully only gets two. Primo dropkicks Jey’s knee out and steps on him a bit but it’s quickly off to Jimmy for a superkick. Jey takes out Epico and the Superfly splash from Jimmy eliminates the cousins.

Titus takes Jey’s head off with a clothesline and we take a break. Apparently the Players got eliminated via a superkick and Superfly Slash to Darren while we were away. So it’s Rhodes Scholars vs. Usos for a shot at Mysterio/Cara. Gee I wonder where this is going. Sandow comes in and is immediately knocked down by Jimmy for two. Back to Jey for a modified Demolition Decapitator, but Sandow gets a boot up in the corner to break up the momentum.

Cody comes in sporting a mustache and we get a CODY’S MUSTACHE chant. Rhodes doesn’t do much and it’s quickly off to Sandow for the Wind-Up Elbow. Cody’s bulldog is countered and the tag brings Jimmy back in. I don’t think Cole knows which Uso is which. There’s the Samoan Drop to Cody followed by the running Umaga attack in the corner. The Usos load up the Superfly again but Cody gets his knees up. Cross Rhodes give the Scholars the match at TLC at 10:56.

Rating: C+. As is the trend on Raw tonight, they’re keeping things fast paced tonight. Nothing tonight has felt long and that’s making things a lot better. Cody’s mustache and the Usos were definite highlights, and I like this idea of getting rid of a team during the break. Seriously, we didn’t need to see the Players get put out and why extend a match even longer than they need to?

Alicia Fox vs. Eve Torres

Non-title I believe. Apparently the Muppets are the social media ambassadors tonight. Jerry: “How does Miss Piggy type with those hooves?” Cole: “……that’s a really good question.” It’s your standard gymnastics stuff with Eve being sent to the floor. Claims a knee injury but Alicia doesn’t seem to care. A northern lights’ suplex and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker both get two for Fox, but Eve pulls her off the top and hits the spinning neckbreaker for the pin at 2:30.

Eve calls the ringside photographer into the ring to take pictures of her post match.

Punk and Heyman are here with the champ on crutches.

Here’s Punk on crutches. He says there’s nothing to the theories that he’s faking the injury because he doesn’t want to face Ryback on Sunday. We get a clip of the end of Raw on Monday where the injury apparently was exacerbated. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and Heyman says that’s ticking him off. He talks about how Punk is a legitimate champion who doesn’t have a stunt double like the Rock. Punk isn’t thinking about Ryback anymore, because Ryback isn’t in front of him anymore.

As for those people that think he should be stripped of the title, which must be Ryback fans for the most part, come and try to do it. No one has been able to take the title from him and he lists off all the names that he’s beaten in his reign that he’s beaten. At the Rumble, Rock will be another name on that list. Punk will be at the PPV on Sunday to watch the Shield, who he is NOT affiliated with, beat up HELL NO and Ryback.

We recap the announcement of Vickie vs. AJ, which is literally just the match being announced. Why bother showing this?

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Sheamus takes over to start and goes after Ziggler’s leg, which apparently was injured in the ladder fall earlier. The fans get behind Ziggler I think and he rakes the eyes to slow Sheamus down. There’s a dropkick by Dolph but he gets backdropped to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler holding a chinlock and sending Sheamus out to the floor. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two for Dolph but Sheamus sends him into the buckle. Sheamus starts his comeback but misses a charge, sending him shoulder first into the post.

Ziggler goes up but jumps into the fallaway slam followed by the forearms in the ropes. Sheamus goes up but gets crotched, allowing Dolph to hit a top rope X Factor for two. The Cloverleaf is escaped but there’s the Irish Curse for two. These near falls are getting really close. Ziggler rolls away from a Brogue Kick and gets a chair, whacking Sheamus for the DQ at 15:12.

Rating: C+. The ending was annoying but it was really the best idea at the end of the day. You don’t want to have one of your main event guys losing on Raw six days before the PPV. Ziggler looked aggressive here which is the right idea for him, but shouldn’t he be using a ladder instead of a chair here?

Shemus kicks the chair into Ziggler’s face post match.

Khali and Horny come in to help Vickie stretch when Vince walks in on a compromising position. Vince: “I thought this was supposed to be a family show.”

We get a video of the Shield’s attack on Kane on Smackdown. This is followed by I think the same holding the camera promo from the Shield from Friday.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder gets a forearm in to start and hooks a very fast chinlock. The fans are way behind Ryder because of the location of the show and the fact that he’s facing one of the least interesting wrestlers in years. He sends Del Rio into the corner but gets kicked in the ribs for his efforts. The kick to the arm keeps Ryder down and we hit a chinlock.

Ryder comes back with a sunset flip but walks into a German suplex for two. After another chinlock, Ryder comes back with a backdrop over the buckle in the corner to send Del Rio outside. There are the double knees in the corner but the Broski Boot misses. Cross Armbreaker ends this at 6:30.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but it’s good to see them bring out someone other than the usual guys we see all the time as jobbers. Anyway, Ryder continues to be nothing in WWE anymore but at least he was there for a bit right? Del Rio on the other hand continues to be the least interesting wrestler in YEARS.

AJ vs. Vickie Guerrero

Big reaction for AJ of course. Vickie yells a lot….and we have no referee. The referee is apparently going to be Brad Maddox. Vickie yells a lot more and jumps AJ as AJ is glaring at Maddox. Vickie beats on AJ some more until AJ goes into psycho mode. She kind of spears Vickie down and Vickie runs up the aisle. Back in and Vickie gets beaten on some more and slapped down, but Maddox won’t cover. Vickie rolls up AJ for the pin at 2:12. Yep, again, Vickie gets the last laugh. As always.

AJ goes nuts and turns over some ladders at ringside before slapping the ring announcer.

Post break AJ is still going nuts when Cena comes up to try to calm her down. He hugs AJ and the look on his face is a bit awkward.

Kofi Kingston vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio does his schtick before the match starts. Cesaro takes over to start and muscles Kofi down into a headlock. Kofi fights up but gets his arm draped over the top rope as Cesaro keeps control. Kingston tries a springboard chop but gets punched in the ribs on the way down. All Antonio so far and the crowd isn’t that interested in what’s going on.

An elbow drop gets two on Kofi but he finally starts his comeback. Antonio rolls away from the Boom Drop so Kofi monkey flips him down instead. Cesaro gets a boot up in the corner and we take a break. Back with Kofi escaping a body vice and getting two off a sunset flip. The gutwrench suplex gets two for Cesaro as does a spinebuster. Back to the body vice for a bit but Kofi comes back for a bit.

The SOS is broken up though and a European Uppercut to the back of the head puts Kofi down for two. The SOS connects but Cesaro grabs the bottom rope. In an AWESOME move, Kofi goes up for the cross body but Cesaro pulls him out of the air and into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The Neutralizer gets the pin at 13:46.

Rating: B-. Another good match between these two and while it’s likely the right move to have Kofi lose here to keep him even with Barrett tonight, it would have been better to have Wade come out to cause the loss given the attack earlier. Cesaro is being pushed STRONG lately as even Sheamus didn’t get a clean win over him. Hopefully they don’t screw him up as is usually the case with hot new guys.

The Rhodes Scholars are the guests on MizTV. Rhodes is reintroduced to the crowd after being gone for a few weeks. He makes fun of Miz for not meaning anything in years before Miz makes fun of Cody’s mustache. Gay jokes are made and Sandow suggests that Miz has lost touch with reality. Miz says that the Scholars are going to hit the mat harder than Pacquiao did in the sixth round. I believe it was the fifth but whatever. Sandow: “You’re not a very good host are you?”

Miz asks Cody how it felt when Sandow didn’t come visit him in the hospital. How does it feel when Sandow says Cody is the Jannetty to his Shawn Michaels? Cody is getting ticked off now. Miz goes on a mini-rant against Cody but Rhodes cuts him off. He says he’s heard all of this before and says that he’s not going to listen to this nonsense anymore and the interview is over. Miz renames the Scholars the Pink and the Stink. What in the world was the point of this segment?

AJ wants to join Cena at ringside tonight. He doesn’t think so because he’d be worried about her getting hurt. AJ finally says ok she’ll stay in the back.

John Cena vs. Big Show

Ziggler is on commentary of course. Show headbutts Cena down to start and then does it again. A splash in the corner puts Cena down in the corner but Show yells at the crowd instead of following up. Cena tries the tried and true method of jumping on Show’s back to choke him out. That only gets a one count so Cena tries the AA. Since it’s the first time, Cena collapses under the weight.

We take a break and come back with Cena countering a chokeslam into a DDT. Show comes back with a side slam for two as Ziggler says Cena is actually impressing him here. Cena fires away with some punches but Show spears him down for two. A BIG elbow drop gets the same for Show and we hit the bearhug. Cena fights out but the STF is easily shrugged off.

They head to the floor for a bit with Show sending Cena into the barricade. Show palms Cena’s head to pull him back up to the apron. That’s SCARY strength. The Vader Bomb actually hits for two and Show does his usual blank stare. An attempt at a second one misses so Cena hits the ProtoBomb and Shuffle but Show no sells them both. The chokeslam gets two so Cena hits the AA. And here’s the Shield for the DQ at 13:52.

Rating: C. It’s Cena vs. Show so you know what you’re going to get here. Also given the absence of the six guys in the TLC match on Sunday, you knew there were going to be shenanigans going on here. Not a terrible match or anything and the AA is always a cool thing to see on Big Show. This was what you would have expected.

The Shield destroys Cena until HELL NO runs in for the save. Show and Ziggler get involved so here’s Sheamus to take out Ziggler. Cena spears Show through a table the Shield set up but the numbers are still in the Shield’s favor. Cue Ryback who throws a ladder into the ring to take out all three Shield members. A HUGE brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show worked better because they kept the show moving at a much faster pace. Nothing here dragged on too long and the show was MUCH easier to get through as a result. They hyped up the major matches for Sunday other than the six man which didn’t get much time at all until the end of the show. Still though, fun show here and if they can keep up this pace (which I highly doubt), the show would be WAY easier to get through.

Results

R-Truth b. Wade Barrett – Rollup

Rhodes Scholars b. Prime Time Players, Primo/Epico and Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Eve Torres b. Alicia Fox – Spinning Neckbreaker

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used a chair

Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross Armbreaker

Vickie Guerrero b. AJ – Rollup

Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston – Neutralizer

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: December 7, 2012
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re nine days from TLC as well as fourteen days away from the end of the world if you buy into that. Anyway, the main story is that CM Punk has had knee surgery and may or may not be able to be in the TLC match against Ryback for the title. Aside from that, there’s likely going to be more Sheamus vs. Big Show stuff. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap (with no voiceover thank goodness) of the end of Raw with Ryback destroying Punk and putting him through a table.

Josh tells us that Punk had surgery to fix a partially torn meniscus (wasn’t that what they said Cena had?). The match in its place will be HELL NO/Ryback vs. The Shield in a TLC match….which you can win by pin or submission. Isn’t that pretty much just a hardcore match? Ryback will get a shot in the future.

Here’s Booker to open the show. Booker says that he’s always been one to take care of his business, be it in the ring, in the back, or in a supermarket. The ring is set up for a contract signing. Booker talks about how he has to give us a good show, so here’s a recap video on Big Show vs. Sheamus. Since he wants to give us a big match at the PPV, there’s a no contract clause for the next nine days.

Here are Sheamus and Big Show to sign the agreement. Booker says if they break the clause, Sheamus loses his title shot and Show loses the title. They sign and Sheamus says that while waiting for the PPV is like waiting for Christmas, the title match is going to be like Christmas morning because he gets to beat on Big Show and win his title back. Show says that while Sheamus beat on him so many times, Show kept getting up.

He talks about how much experience he has and how Sheamus just wants to fight no matter what. Sheamus says he made Show relevant again and how the chairs match might be the end of his career. Show pulls a 2001 HHH and hasn’t signed yet before turning the table on Sheamus. Booker calms Sheamus down and says it’s Sheamus vs. Del Rio tonight. Who wants to see this match EVER again? Show gets Bryan next. This was ridiculously boring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Bryan fires off kicks to the legs but Show easily shoves him away. That sequence works so well that they do the exact same thing again. Show keeps pounding on Bryan as Bryan tries his strikes to come back. A splash in the corner crushes Bryan but he blocks a spear by dropkicking Show’s leg out. They head to the floor where Show is sent into the post but he chops Bryan down as we take a break.

Back with Show getting two off something we didn’t see as Bryan is in trouble. Show starts working on the arm with his usual slow stuff. He stands on the arm which is something you don’t often see. Show charges into a pair of boots in the corner and Bryan adds some dropkicks for one. Bryan goes up top for the headbutt as the Shield is seen in the crowd. The distraction lets Show chokeslam Bryan down for the pin at 6:56 shown of 10:26.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much and I have no idea why Show was working on the arm. He’s a giant, so why work on a limb? It wasn’t terrible or anything but it didn’t really work that well. At the end of the day, giants don’t work on limbs because they don’t have to. It just didn’t work for me.

The Shield shows up at ringside and Show walks away. They circle Bryan and the beating is on. Cue Kane, walking rather slowly for a savior. He holds them off for a bit but the numbers catch up to him, resulting in Kane taking the powerbomb through the announce table.

Back from a break and it’s time for Sandow to try to find his apprentice. It’s the same deal as the previous times and it’s still awesome. Sandow is nailing this character so well and I don’t know of anybody working better right now. He gets interrupted by Miz who makes fun of Sandow’s robe and trunks….and that’s it. That would be a good feud for Sandow actually.

We recap the tag match from Monday where Cena and Sheamus beat their PPV opponents.

We also get Vickie and Vince’s segment almost in full.

Brodus Clay/Usos vs. 3MB

Jey vs. Heath to start things off with Slater getting taken down quickly. Jimmy (thankfully with an arm sleeve tattoo now) comes in with a middle rope splash for two before it’s off to McIntyre and Clay. Brodus goes nuts and runs over everyone until Slater and Mahal take him to the floor. The Usos start diving but McIntyre takes Jimmy down, followed by the Future Shock for the pin at 2:27. Short and nothing to see.

Barrett says Orton has to worry about the Bull Hammer tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Kofi is on commentary in a snappy vest. He says that at TLC, it’s going to have to be a brawl and he’s ready for just that. They feel each other out for a bit and then start punching away, with Randy taking over. This only lasts a few seconds until Orton charges into a boot in the corner. Orton goes after Barrett’s knee and sends him to the floor. The chemistry isn’t exactly clicking so far.

We head to the floor and Wade goes face first into the steps. Brawling is probably the right choice for these guys. Barrett sends Orton into the steps as well before heading back inside. Orton is knocked off the apron and is holding his elbow as we take a break. Back with Orton escaping a chinlock but getting put into the ropes for some choking. Barrett kicks Orton in the face to knock him to the outside again which gets two back in the ring.

Wade goes up but misses a middle rope elbow. JBL makes fun of Josh using all of the snake references about Orton and the voice is hilarious. Orton makes his comeback and hits the Elevated DDT but Barrett hooks the rope to block the RKO. Wade goes to unhook the buckle, but Kofi yells at the referee to stop Barret. The distraction lets the RKO hit for the pin at 7:17 shown of 10:47.

Rating: D. I didn’t like this for the most part as they were just missing out there. Also, why would you have Orton go over here, especially when Barrett has a title show coming up? Could it be because this company has no idea how to book its midcard? I’d be as shocked as you are if that was the case.

Epico/Primo vs. Hornswoggle/Great Khali

What do you expect here? Khali starts with Epico and pounds away on him before the cousins double team him to the floor. Off to Horny who is bullied because of his size. He Warriors Up and Khali does the work to put Epico and Primo down. Tadpole Splash pins Epico at 2:54. Oh and Natalya is here with the winning team.

The Raw ReBound sums up the end of the show and reiterates the Punk announcement.

We get a Shield promo with one of them holding a camera at themselves. They say they don’t work for anyone but themselves and talk about the injustice they’ve gone through. They don’t mention any specifics but that would be giving away too much. Ambrose says they’ll bring the sword to the PPV.

Here’s Cesaro in the ring and apparently he’s defending the title against R-Truth at the PPV. Cesaro says that America is weak and there’s no more American Dream. He says everyone used to pursue the American Dream, but now they all just look like him. Cesaro has a picture of Dusty Rhodes and we get some funky music.

Truth comes out and says he sees hard working people doing everything they can to hang on. Cesaro isn’t impressed and neither am I. Again, Cesaro has already beaten Truth at least once, so why do we need to see this match again? The brawl is on but Cesaro bails. This would have been ok if the match wasn’t already set, but instead it comes off like tacking on a feud, which isn’t good storytelling.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

I’ve had nightmares about this match before. They brawl into the corner to start with Sheamus taking over quickly. Alberto comes back with a kick to the ribs as we hear about the way too long feud they had over the summer. Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but he gets knocked to the apron. Del Rio kicks Sheamus’ leg out and sends him face first into the apron. Here’s Big Show to watch as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of something, only to get kicked in the ribs to break it up. Del Rio uses Rollins’ Black Out to take Sheamus down, followed by a MOONSAULT of all things. It was a decent one at that but it only gets two on Sheamus. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long at all. Instead Del Rio goes up top and hooks the armbreaker over the ropes but has to let go due to the DQ threat.

Del Rio goes up one more time and dives into a shot to the ribs from Sheamus. Alberto misses a charge and gets caught on the apron. There are the ten forearms followed by a suplex and the Battering Ram for two. Alberto hits a Backstabber (backbreaker according to Josh) for two but the armbreaker is escaped. Brogue Kick misses and Del Rio hits the enziguri for two. An attempt at a second moosault misses and it’s the Irish Curse and Cloverleaf for the submission win by Sheamus at 9:11 shown of 12:41.

Rating: C+. As boring as the feud was, the matches weren’t that bad. Thankfully Del Rio has been starting to use that enziguri more often, because there’s no way the armbreaker is going to work against some of his opponents. Anyway, decent match here, but the rest of the show has been so bad that it’s hard to care about this point.

Post match Show comes in to beg Sheamus to hit him. He closes his eyes while Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but instead Sheamus throws Ricardo into Show’s crotch to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Most of the show was about Sheamus vs. Big Show, but we’re not allowed to see any contact between the two of them. The rest of it was about random matches that are vaguely connected to the PPV at best. Nothing here at all without even a single quality match. Bad episode as Smackdown is back to what it’s getting into a pattern of: being worthless.

Results

Big Show b. Daniel Bryan – Chokeslam

3MB b. Brodus Clay/Usos – Future Shock to Jimmy

Randy Orton b. Wade Barrett – RKO

Hornswoggle/Great Khali b. Epico/Primo – Tadpole Splash to Epico

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Given that Punk is out hurt, it’s clear that we need a new PPV main event.Apparently that’ll be either the six man or the ladder match.  No mention of the other WORLD TITLE MATCH was mentioned at all for a main event.  Instead it’ll be a non-title match or a #1 contender’s match for the same world title. That says a lot about where the title is on WWE’s level of interest.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 3, 2012
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the final month of the year and we’ve got two more episodes before TLC. The main story tonight is that Vince is here apparently, which is probably a good idea. Other than that, we’ve got more with Ryback vs. The Shield, who I’m sure would NEVER interfere in the main event of a PPV or anything like that. Let’s get to it.

The usual recap opens the show, and tonight it’s Sheamus/Cena vs. Ziggler/Show.

HELL NO vs. Prime Time Players

The Shield is watching from the top of the arena so Kane calls them down. Titus and Kane get things going and O’Neal is quickly knocked to the floor. Cole talks about “Daniel Ambruce” saying something last week. Rollins and Reigns have gone somewhere else apparently. Kane and Bryan work on Darren’s arm as Reigns is now down in the arena. The Players double team Kane in the corner and Reigns moves down the steps. Ambrose is down in the arena as well. Rollins is nowhere in sight.

Bryan hits his running knee of the apron as the match is now all about looking at the Shield. We go to a break and come back with Titus clotheslining Kane down. Reigns and Ambrose are still in the crowd. Back to Bryan with a running dropkick in the corner for two. GOOD GRIEF stop showing the Shield guys. We get it already. Young comes in and is put in the NO Lock but everything breaks down. Ambrose and Reigns are at the barricade now as the match has more or less stopped, allowing Darren to roll up Bryan, who reverses it into a rollup on Young for the pin at 11:28.

Rating: D. I have no idea if the match was good or not, because they kept cutting away to show the Shield guys. I really hope this isn’t Nexus all over again because it’s really shaping up to be similar to it. The Players will likely get passed over again as it looks like Shield might get the tag titles soon. Nothing to see here, almost literally.

Post match the Shield runs in and crushes Kane’s arm under the steps. Bryan gets beaten down as well as Rollins runs in. The Superbomb leaves Bryan laying.

Sheamus and Cena are talking in the back and I think they’re talking about soccer. Apparently after Smackdown they went out for 15 pints or so. Sheamus says he’ll be focused tonight.

AJ vs. Tamina Snuka

Happy blowoff match people. AJ jumps on Tamina to start and then does it again. Tamina slams her off the top before putting her right back up there. An over the shoulder backbreaker…is released a few seconds after Tamina puts it on. Tamina keeps pounding away as this is going about as far as you would expect AJ vs. Tamina to go. The splash is loaded up but AJ rolls Tamina up for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? The match was nothing of note and they didn’t do anything special. Was anybody expecting Tamina to add anything to this story at all? Nothing to see here at all and as usual, the Divas continue to be a complete waste of time. I’ll say this though: AJ can rock a pair of shorts.

Here are Punk and Heyman with something to say after a break. Post break Heyman complains about the new and updated WWE Encyclopedia because there isn’t enough in it about CM Punk. Heyman does however give credit to them for having a list of WWE Championship Reigns in it, and at midnight tonight Punk will tie Cena’s record and tomorrow night at midnight, CM Punk will be the longest reigning WWE Champion of the last 25 years, which is the modern era. Heyman says Punk should be front and center on WWE’s Mount Rushmore.

Punk says that he’s still unfairly persecuted, because he’s still the best in the world. That’s not just a catchphrase, because he’s the best of all time. Punk makes fun of some fans for not having jobs or marriages lasting as long as his title reign. He talks about how the fans credit either Maddox or the Shield for keeping the title on Punk. Punk says that he’s got nothing to do with either of them, but he’s the reason everyone is here tonight. He’s the hottest thing in WWE today and he tells us to change the channel if you don’t believe him. Or get up and leave his arena right now.

He’s interrupted by…….The Miz? The fans are getting into the REALLY chant now. He tells the fans to sit down and enjoy themselves, because no one buys what Punk is saying. Punk wants to know who Miz is, so Miz says he’s the one who took every shortcut he could as WWE Champion, but at least he admits it. Punk has been bailed out time after time by Maddox and Shield….so Punk insults Miz’s shoes.

Miz doesn’t want a fight, but wants Punk to come on MizTV to take a lie detector test. This leads to Miz calling Heyman a walrus, starting a chant. Punk DEMANDS an apology from the fans, so Miz keeps goading Punk into a test. He says Punk doesn’t want an asterisk by his name, so Punk goes for the idea. We spent over ten minutes to get there? Seriously?

John Cena/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show

Sheamus vs. Ziggler to get things going. A shoulder puts Ziggler down, as does a slam and it’s off to Cena. We hit the chinlock but at least this one is short. Cena speeds things up and takes Ziggler down with an armdrag. Off to Big Show who shoves Cena away. Why exactly does this surprise Cena? Cena tries the shoulder and literally bounces off Big Show.

Show hits the big chop in the corner and falls on Cena in a slam attempt. Off to Ziggler for some fast elbow drops for two. Cena avoids a splash in the corner and it’s off to Sheamus vs. Big Show. A knee lift and a running double ax put Show down, but the Battering Ram is blocked by a spear out of the air.

We take a break and come back with Show still working over Sheamus. Ziggler hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Sheamus fights back with the Irish Curse. Hot tag brings in Cena, house is cleaned like the boss is on his way home, and it’s White Noise to Show while Cena hits the AA on Ziggler for the pin at 11:52. Ziggler got up too early after the Protobomb and they had to rush to the finish.

Rating: C. Standard main event style tag match here and I’m always a fan of mixing the feuds up like this. Sheamus holding Show there for White Noise for that long is a really cool visual, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Also Cena pins Ziggler. Again. Not much to see here but it was fine I guess.

Cena and Sheamus celebrate way more than they should post match.

We recap the Punk/Miz stuff from earlier.

The MUPPETS will be at Tribute to the Troops. This results in Piggy hitting on Flo Rida.

Here’s Sandow looking for his apprentice again. As usual, Sandow owns this whole segment, berating the guy after he doesn’t know an English poet. It’s the little insults in this that make Sandow great. He’s totally into the character and the line of “ignorance is curable but stupidity is forever” is good stuff. I loved this. Naturally Santino comes out to make the segment stupid. He asks how many shells did she sell by the seashore, making Sandow go into a lecture about crustaceans. Thankfully Damien drops him with one shot. We get a match.

Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella

This is joined in progress after a break with Santino doing his power walk thing. Apparently Santino won a power walking contest seventeen years ago. Cole gives a story about why that’s not true or something like that. Wind-Up Elbow gets two as does a small package from Sandow. Santino comes back with his usual sequence and Damien runs from the Cobra. Sandow catches him coming back in and steals the Cobra. Marella guillotines him on the top but misses the top rope headbutt. Terminus and we’re done at 2:40 shown. This was the same match Sandow had with Ryder last week.

TOUT questions to stump Damien with. Oh geez.

Vickie says she’s starting to lose faith with Ziggler, so Ziggler asks for another match with Cena at the PPV. Vickie isn’t sure but goes into her office to see Brad Maddox. There’s a camera on Maddox in the office. Post break, Maddox is asking for a contract and appeals to Vickie’s obsession with her legacy to get a job. He calls himself a Youtube sensation and is told if he wins his match tonight, he gets a contract. I’m thinking Orton for this one.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

Haven’t we seen this match a few times recently? Cara grabs the arm to start before Alberto jumps him in the corner. A knee to the head of Cara gets two before Cara comes back with the usual armdrags. Del Rio sends him into the middle buckle and kicks him in the back. A snap suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. Cara escapes and speeds things up, sending Del Rio to the floor and hitting a rana off the apron.

We take a break (in Del Rio vs. Cara? Really?) and come back with Sin Cara still in control. Alberto is sent to the floor for a second and as Cara sends him back in, Del Rio shoves him off of a springboard attempt. That gets two for Alberto and it’s time for a chinlock. Cara’s mask goes up a bit and Del Rio gets two off a German suplex. Alberto misses a charge in the corner and Cara hits a solid tornado DDT to put both guys down. Headscissors puts Del Rio down, as does a kick to the head. Top rope cross body gets two, as does a standing Sliced Bread by Cara. The Swanton misses and the cross armbreaker gets the tap at 12:40.

Rating: C-. The match was pretty entertaining, but this is like the opening matches on an old WWF house show: long because we need to fill in the show. Del Rio has now beaten Cara three times in three weeks I believe with the armbreaker. Why did we need to see this match again? Cara doesn’t really get anything out of it and the results are the same. Why should I be interested?

Vince wants to talk to Vickie in the ring.

We recap the set up for the lie detector test again.

Here’s Vickie to suck up to Vince. She tells everyone to clap, because Vince doesn’t get a reaction you know. First up, Vince wants to hear what she’s got for the TLC PPV. The match is going to be Cena vs. Ziggler but Vince wants more. She suggests no DQ, but Vince wants more. He whispers something to her and it’ll be a ladder match….for the MITB case. Vickie thinks this isn’t fair to Dolph because he has nothing to gain.

Vince thinks the AJ scandal hasn’t been fair, so maybe Vickie should apologize by making the match official. The match is made, but Vickie stops to dismiss Vince. Oh you are an idiot. Vince understands there’s a lie detector test going on tonight. If Punk is proven to be a liar about Maddox and the Shield, there should be a penalty against him. After forever, Vickie gets to the idea of Ryback vs. Heyman next week if Punk is lying.

Brad Maddox vs. Randy Orton

If Maddox wins, he gets a contract. Maddox gets in one elbow before it’s a few signature moves and the RKO for the pin at 1:10.

Post match Shield runs in and destroys Orton.

Vickie yells about Shield when Dolph comes in to yell about the ladder match. He says Vickie is becoming just like AJ. Dolph leaves and Heyman comes in to glare at her without saying anything. She finally says that Punk better be telling the truth. Heyman leaves and Cena comes in to gloat, as well as make a joke about Ziggler being the first guy ever to forget the Five Moves of Doom. Vickie has found some Cena bowties in the Divas locker room, which suggests that she’s getting obsessed with Cena. Cena goes on a mini rant about Vickie is lying again, saying the ties aren’t even the right color.

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Wade Barrett/Antonio Cesaro

Teddy Long comes out and makes it a four way match for a title. What title would that be though? The audience gets to pick what title is on the line and the results are up after the break. Post break, it’s Cesaro’s title on the line in a landslide.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett vs. R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Truth and Barrett are both thrown to the floor quickly and Cesaro gets rolled up for two. Barrett decks Truth on the floor as Kofi sends Cesaro to the outside. The pumphandle slam gets two for Wade on Kofi, who immediately dives onto Cesaro on the floor. Truth comes back in t beat on Wade before gyrating a bit at him. Barrett to the floor, so it’s Kofi vs. Truth.

They know each other very well so no one can get an advantage, resulting in a stalemate off a double dropkick. The villains come back in and Kofi/Truth botch a spot where Truth was going to launch Kofi onto Cesaro. Kofi hits a suicide dive on Barrett but Truth misses a dive onto Cesaro. Cesaro throws Truth around a bit more as we take a break. Back with the two champions pounding on each other until Cesaro uses a half crab giant swing on Kofi.

Barrett makes the save and knocks Cesaro to the floor before hitting the Winds of Change on Kofi for two. Truth comes back in with the ax kick for two on Barrett, but Wade comes back and loads up a superplex. Truth knocks him down and Cesaro goes up top with Truth. Kofi runs up the corner and hits an armdrag to take Cesaro down. Wade tries the superplex again and we get a Tower of Doom with kofi on the bottom. Cesaro makes a VERY close save to break up the pin before getting two of his own off that fireman’s carry slam of his. That should be his finisher instead of the Neutralizer.

Truth clotheslines Cesaro and himself to the floor, leaving Wade and Kofi alone. Kofi elbows and dropkicks Barrett down as things speed up. Boom Drop hits but Cesaro breaks up Trouble in Paradise. Neutralizer is broken up by Truth and there’s the Bull Hammer to Truth. Kofi kicks Wade’s head off, but Cesaro pulls Kofi off Wade into the Neutralizer for the pin to retain at 12:23.

Rating: B. WAY better match than I was expecting here and a lot of that was because it was a title match. I had a reason to care who was getting those near falls because there was actually something on the line. It gets really dull when these matches have nothing up for grabs, so having something this simple was a nice addition. The only problem I have: why have Kofi get pinned here? Truth was RIGHT THERE but can’t take a loss?

We recap Maddox and the Shield saving Punk’s title twice now.

We also recap the Vickie/Vince stuff from earlier.

Time for MizTV to end the show. He’s got a lie detector test guy here from the sheriff’s department, but he says the wrong county. If Punk lies about the important stuff, Heyman has to face Ryback next week.After Miz explains a lie detector, we get on with the test. Miz asks about embarrassing moments in Punk’s career, like having Rey shave his head and about facing Orton when Miz was in the main event. There’s the walrus thing again. Punk thinks he can beat Ryback by himself, and that’s a big lie. The results are on the screen.

Oh apparently Punk COULD be lying. Miz asks about Maddox and the Shield…..but here’s the Shield to destroy Miz and clear the ring. They hit the Super Bomb and here’s HELL NO. The numbers catch up with the champs and Ambrose goes after Kane’s arm from earlier. Ryback comes out and throws Ambrose to the floor. Make that into the crowd as the beating is on.

HELL NO beats up the other guys and everyone goes into the crowd. Punk is left alone in the ring with Miz and kicks him to the floor. Punk and Heyman pose but Ryback comes back for the Shell Shock to Punk. Ryback gets a chair and a ladder to beat up the champion. Now it’s a table and a powerbomb through it for the champ to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was MUCH better than what they’ve been having lately. First of all, the lack of recaps helps A LOT. We didn’t have to waste a ton of time seeing the same stuff five times a show. Second, no stupid AJ/Vickie/Cena stuff. That stuff sucked the life out of shows because it never led anywhere. Now we didn’t have that and we got a major PPV match out of it. Throw in a fourway that actually meant something and Maddox getting massacred and you’ve got a better show. MUCH better than they’ve had in recent weeks, but three hours is still far too long.

Results

HELL NO b. Prime Time Players – Rollup to Young

AJ b. Tamina – Rollup

Sheamus/John Cena b. Big Show/Dolph Ziggler – AA to Ziggler

Damien Sandow b. Santino Marella – Terminus

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker

Randy Orton b. Brad Maddox – RKO

Antonio Cesaro b. Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett and R-Truth – Neutralizer to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

December to Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

So this is more or less considered the standard for worst WWE PPV of all time. There are quite a few reasons for that and I’d say it’s likely true. Number one is Vince McMahon. Heyman was told to run this show and he put together a run sheet and the endings to matches etc.

Since Big Show had made it clear that he was leaving the company as soon as his contract was up two days after the show, the title change was clearly coming. Heyman’s original idea was Punk and Show start the Chamber match and Punk gets Show to tap out inside of four minutes. Punk liked it, Heyman liked it, Show LOVED it, the writers liked it, Vince hated it.

Vince insisted on Lashley getting the belt and a massive celebration ending the show. Heyman said allegedly three or four times that this was going to bomb. It did indeed bomb and guess what happened. Yep, Vince blamed Heyman for the whole thing and Paul quit/was thrown out. The second issue here is that we had seen Survivor Series SEVEN DAYS EARLIER.

Yeah, this is our second PPV in two weeks, so of course the buyrate was through the floor. That was of course Heyman’s fault too. Finally, this was called an ECW show. The problem was it was more or less a really long episode of the TV show with a bit main event. This wasn’t like the TV show now either. This was back when the show was awful and more or less held together with tape and gum every week. Let’s get this over with.

Of course the opening video is all about the Chamber. Oh, it’s an EXTREME Elimination Chamber as the four in pods will all have weapons. Give me a break.

Joey says this show might be infamous. That’s just amusing. He follows this by freaking up and saying there will be a new champion tonight. Thanks for the spoiler Joey.

MNM vs. Hardys

This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.

The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.

Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.

Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.

Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.

They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.

In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidentally dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.

Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.

Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.

Van Dam says he’ll win the title tonight.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

See what I mean about them not advertising anything? I think you can see why based on this one alone. They had been feuding back in the day and no one cared so let’s have people pay to see the “blowoff” to it. They kept saying that Striker was a former teacher that had to resign but it was never explained why: he got in trouble for going to wrestle at night.

The match tonight is under Striker’s Rules, meaning very strict. There is no eye gouging, no hair pulling, no top rope moves, and no foul language. I didn’t know that Bill Watts booked ECW. Balls comes out to a bad cover of Big Balls. They make jokes about Striker having a picture of himself on his tights.

If there has ever been a match that belonged on TV, this is it. It’s ok, but it’s certainly not worth paying anything for. After even more boring stuff, this time mainly arm work from Balls, he hits the Nutcracker Sweet, of course not called that here, to get the win.

Rating: D. Not only was it boring, but this was something people had to pay to see without it being mentioned or advertised. Other than the opener and the main event, that’s the case all around tonight actually. You’re starting to get the idea why this show is considered awful.

Punk is getting ready.

Sabu is hurt and Hardcore Holly is replacing him in the main event. The fans, knowing what’s going on, loudly chant bull at this.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. F.B.I.

This FBI is Guido and Tony Mamaluke. Burke is the Pope from TNA, and yet, he’s still overrated and more or less worthless. “But KB, he can talk so well!” Well that would bet true if it wasn’t nonsenes. He’s talking now and he’s annoying me already. Now in TNA he’s a modern day Slick and just as annoying.

The only good thing about the FBI is they have Trinity and she looks very good. Yep, that’s all I’m going to care about here. Terkay is more or less an MMA guy that wrestled. Apparently Tazz needs a cold shower. Can we please get to the end of this show PLEASE? We have a very weak where’s my pizza chant as I feel so sorry for the live fans.

This was a massive slap in the face of all of ECW and its fans, but hey, Vince gets to feel like he killed the place and his delusions of grandeur are fulfilled for one more day right? All is right with the world now. More or less this is a way for Terkay to beat people up. It’s more or less a squash.

Actually screw that: it is a squash. Naturally the ECW guys get their heads handed to them on an ECW show so that the WWE guys can look great. Oh and after the match, Terkay uses a Muscle Buster to get a big TNA chant going. Ok so not big but whatever. Just move on please.

Rating: D-. Screw you Vince. This was just freaking dumb. I get that you hate ECW but if you’re going to rip off the audience like this, screw you.

Sabu is put in an ambulance.

We get an ad for Raw, on an ECW show. This is freaking garbage.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Daivari is more commonly known as Sheik Abdul Bashir recently and here he’s known as the manager of the Great Khali. I wonder what’s going to happen here. Dreamer jobbing would be ok I guess. Those poor fans actually think Dreamer has a chance in this. Khali is thrown out. And now no one else cares. It’s Dreamer vs. a tiny guy that never does anything else.

Dreamer gets some of his big spots in to get the crowd going a bit, but naturally as he goes for the DDT, Daivari just rolls him up with the tights for the pin. I hate this show more and more every time. Of course Khali comes out and chokeslams him on the ramp. Tazz is legit tick off as you can tell.

Rating: W. That stands for who possible cares anymore. I’m not even an ECW fan and I’m even an ECW critic and this is ticking me off. Tell me one reason why Daivari should have gone over like that here. If you’re going to have Khali destroy him, fine, but have that be the reason to end the match. This is just mindless.

Dreamer takes forever to get up as we’re an hour and 15 minutes into this and we have two matches left, one of which is a mixed tag.

Ad for See No Evil, which is of course, a WWE thing and not an ECW thing.

I actually took a break at this point to watch a bad Disney Channel movie. That’s how annoyed I am with this show.

Heyman gives Hardcore Holly the spot in the main event. The fans pause and then know what’s coming, as Holly gets the spot. I actually can’t understand Holly’s first line as the fans are booing so loudly. This was a freaking atrocity and it’s pathetic that it has to be. The fans are just freaking dead now.

Ariel/Kevin Thorn vs. Kelly/Mike Knox

Kelly dated Knox apparently. Kelly at this point is an exhibitionist and AWFUL. I mean she’s ridiculously bad so we get Knox and Thorn. Knox has no beard at this point and is somehow more worthless than he was before. Oh dang it they’re letting him talk. Oh good Kelly is talking instead. She likes Punk, who gets a chant. That chant didn’t happen though. No one likes Punk. What people want is HARDCORE HOLLY AND TEST!!!

Thorn is a vampire and Ariel is a fortune telling gypsy or something. She would become Salinas in TNA in case you’re more familiar with them. This is a freaking disgrace. I’m glad no one bought it as it makes things seem a bit better. No one cares about this either as since both girls can’t wrestle we more or less have a Knox vs. Thorn match.

And here they are. At least Kelly looks hot. Kelly tries to get the tag to Knox but he leaves. Note: the fans chant for Punk to come make the save. To make sure it’s clear: Punk is OVER. Sandman makes the save instead which gets a nice pop.

Rating: D-. Kelly looking hot is the only reason this passes. I just want to get to the end of this.

We get a long ad for Armageddon, which was the third PPV in four weeks. WWE was so stupid at this point that I can’t comprehend it.

Some RIDICULOUSLY hot chick named Rebecca interviews Lashley. She can’t talk but she doesn’t need to. It’s mainly about how Lashley has had to put up with a ton of garbage, more or less confirming that he’ll win tonight, which only Vince wanted to see.

Three of the people in the chamber come to the ring together. We get the same exact video as the one that opened the show. Oh man they knew they had jack. We’re about an hour and a half into the show at this point mind you.

Heyman comes out and talks while saying nothing at all. This is nothing more than trying desperately to fill in time.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. It’s a shame that he didn’t have a chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is freaking stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in the MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had FREAKING TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU CENSORED KIDDING ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here.

He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just so dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

And that’s it. No seriously, the show which cost 40 dollars started at 8pm and was over at 10:05pm, the last 4 minutes being the celebration by Lashley. Do I even need to insult this?

Overall Rating: I. For incomplete. Where’s the last 45 minutes of this? I know WWE cuts their shows early, but this was inexcusable. Not only does it end 40 minutes early, but there were two matches allegedly worth seeing and the Hardys vs. MNM was the only good thing of it at all. This wasn’t a PPV. It was Vince making sure that ECW died the way he wanted it to.

If Vince would listen once all night, he could have heard the fans BEGGING for this to be Punk but the rookie muscle guy gets it instead. Heyman was of course blamed for the whole thing because while he wrote the show, it was his third one or so and the only reason he went with it was because Vince wouldn’t accept anything.

Like I said, the initial idea was Punk puts Show out in about three minutes and we end with Van Dam, Punk and Lashley (if we have to) in a 20 minute war. Alas, that would have been entertaining though so they went with Lashley being given the hero push so Vince would have nice wet dreams that night. This was an abomination and not a PPV at all.

Get the Hardys/MNM match if you like tag wrestling, but other than that don’t do anything with this show so Vince doesn’t get anything out of it. This was an insult to the fans at best and an ego trip by Vince of epic proportions.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: November 30, 2012
Location: CenturyLink Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Remember when Smackdown used to be good? Like when it was the best wrestling show on TV? I’m trying to give myself a nice feeling before I get into this show. We’re going to get the Shield interview from Raw I’m sure, along with Cena and AJ’s latest kiss at least once or twice on top of that. Oh and the world champions will get a quick bit of time too if we can squeeze them in. Let’s get to it.

The opening voiceover is about Shield and Show vs. Sheamus at the end.

Here’s Cena to open the show. Before Cena can eve talk, we get a recap of him vs. Ziggler. Cena talks about now being on Smackdown that often, but he’s here tonight because Dolph is in the main event. He makes fun of Ziggler for being world champion for about ten minutes once and for losing the MITB case whenever he cashes it in. Tonight it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Cena is excited about it.

This brings out….Alberto Del Rio? Cena sucks up to the fans a bit as Alberto says the show belongs to him. Del Rio lists off his accomplishments, all of which Cena himself has done if I remember correctly. Alberto tells Cena to get out but Cena wants to see the main event. Cena says he won’t leave now because he has a match with Del Rio RIGHT NOW.

John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio

After a break we come back for the opening bell and to see Cena shoulder block Del Rio to the floor. We head to the outside and Cena gets rammed back first into the announce table. Back in and Alberto hits a top rope ax handle/punch to the face for two. We get a recap from before the break that set this match up via a splitscreen. Do they really think we need that much assistance in getting through a show?

A running kick to the face puts Cena down and a suplex gets two. Ziggler is watching in the back as Del Rio hooks an armbar. Cena blocks a second suplex attempt into one of his own, only to have Alberto hit a running kick to the arm in the corner. Another ax handle gets two and it’s back to the armbar. We take a break and come back with Del Rio missing a backsplash off the middle rope.

Cena initiates his finishing sequence and hits the Shuffle but the AA is countered into a Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a neckbreaker by Cena and both guys are down. John heads up top but Del Rio takes him down with an enziguri. Another enziguri misses but Cena can’t get the STF. A backbreaker puts Cena down for two more so Del Rio goes up yet again. His third attempt at an ax handle is blocked by a Cena dropkick to put both guys down. The AA is countered into the armbreaker which is countered into the STF by Cena.

Alberto FINALLY makes a rope and heads to the apron. As Cena tries to pull him back in, there’s an armbreaker over the ropes to slow Cena down. Alberto tries a sunset flip but gets caught in another AA attempt. THAT gets reversed into a German suplex for two so Alberto puts Cena in the Tree of Woe. Del Rio tries a spear to an upside down Cena but hits the post shoulder first instead. The top rope Fameasser hits perfectly for the pin on Alberto at 11:23 shown of 14:53.

Rating: B. This was a solid nearly PPV quality match with one thing that really set it apart: the ending. It’s nice to see something other than one of Cena’s two finishers ending a match for a change. Seeing the same moves get the same two counts over and over can start to seem like a waste of time after awhile, so having one of those moves get a pin every now and then is a good thing. The match was good stuff too and one of their better matches.

As Cena poses on the stage, Dolph blasts him in the back of the head with the briefcase. Josh: “You don’t want to see something like that happen to John Cena.” John: “Why not?”

Time for another recap, this time of the main event of Raw where Punk beat Kane and then the Shield ran in to beat up the monster. The beatdown on Ryback isn’t shown.

HELL NO is glaring at each other in the back when Kofi comes up to tell them to get along because they have a six man tonight. The tag champions shout compliments to each other and agree that they can get along. Kofi doesn’t know what to think of this.

Cena yells at Booker that he wants Ziggler. Booker says let the match with Sheamus vs. Ziggler take place tonight. Cena agrees because of his past with Booker.

Great Khali vs. David Otunga

Josh says this might be harder for Otunga than passing the bar exam, causing JBL to go on a big rant. Khali knocks Otunga to the floor where Horny jumps him, only to get chased away. Khali pulls Otunga back into the ring for the big chop and the pin at 1:26.

Horny and Khali dance post match.

Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett vs. HELL NO/Kofi Kingston

Take two feuds, put them into one match. This is something that could be done far more often. Kane vs. Darren gets things going here with Young getting punched down very quickly. Off to Bryan for a running dropkick in the corner and some regular kicks to a seated Young as well. Kane hits a seated dropkick of his own for two as Young shouts for Titus.

Darren finally gets in a single shot and runs over to Titus for the tag. O’Neal has his head kicked off for two and he’s sent to the floor. There’s Bryan’s running knee off the apron and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting two on Young off a dropkick. Back to Kane who does nothing so here’s Bryan again. Daniel fires off kicks and chops but Titus comes in off a blind tag to take over for the first time.

The Players take Bryan down with a double shoulder for two by Young. Off to a surfboard hold with the knee in the back by Darren. That goes nowhere so here’s Barrett for the first time. Pumphandle slam gets two on Bryan and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Titus hits a reverse slam on Bryan before suplexing Young down onto him for two.

Darren hooks a chinlock but Bryan fights up with a bunch of forearms. Young comes back with a northern lights suplex for two as we’re waiting on the big hot tag. Titus works on the back of Bryan but charges into a boot in the corner to give Bryan a breather. There’s the tag to Kane who beats the tar out of Young, getting two off a side slam.

The top rope clothesline connects but Titus breaks things up. Kofi comes in sans tag (such a bad influence on the children) and everything breaks down. Young tries to come in of the top but jumps into a chokeslam. Swan Dive and the NO Lock from Bryan get the tap at 10:38 shown of 14:08.

Rating: C. This might as well have been the Players vs. the champions with Kofi and Barrett as managers. The two singles guys were in the match for maybe a minute each at most and I actually forgot who they were when I was writing up the results. The match wasn’t bad or anything, but I’m not sure why Barrett and Kingston didn’t get more time.

Sheamus is very excited about kicking Ziggler in the head later.

Raw ReBound is the ending of the show, most of which we saw earlier.

Here’s Damien Sandow, who says he’s going to be focusing on individuals instead of the masses from now on, which is why he’s going to search for an apprentice. He goes through the front row and finds a guy in a Punk shirt that suits him. Damien asks the fan some basic questions (how many wheels on a tricycle and how often does the US hold presidential elections) before asking what the velocity of Jupiter’s moon Europa. Sandow’s reply of “YOU IGNARAMOUS!” when the guy doesn’t know is hilarious. He says the fan has disgraced Louisiana and wants him out of his country.

Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd chases Sandow to the apron but Damien rams him face first into said apron to take over. Back in and the Wind-Up Elbow gets two but Kidd comes back with kicks to the head for two of his own. Sandow heads to the floor and gets caught in a suicide dive from Kidd. Back in and Kidd tries his springboard elbow but it lands on Sandow’s knee. For some reason this hurts Kidd instead of Damien’s knee is beyond me but whatever. Terminus ends this at 2:49.

Video on Cena’s 300^th Make-A-Wish granted.

Ziggler says that Cena is a liar and liars get what they deserve: MITB case shots to the back of their heads. There’s a really bad superhero parody skit in there somewhere.

Usos vs. 3 Man Band

It’s Slater/Mahal again. Slater vs. Jey to get things going here as the fans go pretty silent after booing 3MB’s entrance. It’s quickly off to Jimmy who now has a sleeve tattoo which helps tell them apart. A middle rope splash gets two on Slater but it’s off to Mahal to take over with a knee and chinlock. A hot tag brings in Jey for some fast paced offense including a shot to the face and a Samoan Drop for no cover. The running Umaga attack in the corner gets two but some Slater interference lets Mahal hit the full nelson slam for the pin at 2:41. This was nothing.

We recap Show and Sheamus’ staredown from Raw with Show breaking a chair.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Ziggler takes over to start but the showing off lets Sheamus get in a few shots to take control away. Dolph sends him to the floor but dives into a fall away slam into the barricade. Ziggler is thrown back in, only to fall right back to the floor. Sheamus throws him back in again but Ziggler guillotines him down to break up the ten forearms. We take a break and come back with Ziggler hitting a splash in the corner for two.

Off to a chinlock by the smaller guy, followed by a kick to Sheamus’ head for two. Ziggler chokes and stomps away in the corner but his charge is countered by a backdrop to the apron. There are the ten forearms to the chest but Ziggler avoids the top rope shoulder. Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler gets two off the jumping DDT. The Fameasser misses as well and there’s the Irish Curse for two. White Noise is countered but Sheamus counters the counter into the Cloverleaf but here’s Big Show for the DQ at 8:45 shown of 12:15.

Rating: C. Nothing significant here as it was all leading up to a run-in finish. It’s nice to see Ziggler not lose clean for once which happens way too often for a guy who is likely going to be a world champion in the next few months. Other than that though, nothing to see here for the most part but it wasn’t bad.

Cena comes out to save Sheamus from a double team. There’s an AA to Ziggler and a double suplex to Show. A double shoulder puts Show on the floor and the good guys celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Let’s see: recaps kept far lower than previous weeks, some pretty good and long matches, nothing being horrible for the most part, and a 3 Man Band sighting. By comparison to most of what we’ve gotten from WWE lately, this was one of the best shows in months. I’d be much happier with Smackdown if it were like this all the time, as in NOT ABOUT RAW.

Results

John Cena b. Alberto Del Rio – Top Rope Fameasser

Great Khali b. David Otunga – Chop

HELL NO/Kofi Kingston b. Wade Barrett/Prime Time Players – NO Lock to Young

Damien Sandow b. Tyson Kidd – Terminus

3 Man Band b. Uso Brothers – Full Nelson Slam to Jey

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Big Show interefered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is one of those things I put in a Smackdown review recently and it bares repeating.A few weeks ago, Big Show fought William Regal on Smackdown.  It lasted like two minutes and was a Big Show squash, making it pretty uninteresting.  My idea: make it a title match.  Regal never stood a chance, but if you make it a title match there’s a tiny chance that we could see a title change, and that makes the match more interesting.  It doesn’t hurt Show and it makes Regal look like a bigger deal, so why not do it?

Smackdown
Date: November 23, 2012
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Thanksgiving and we’re just after Survivor Series. Big Show is still champion and it looks like we’re getting Show vs. Sheamus III in a chairs match at TLC. Other than that it’s hard to say what we’re going to get at that show, but I have a feeling it’ll be a lot of rematches. Let’s get to it.

It’s the voiceover deal to start, recapping Raw with the Cena/AJ stuff. You know, in case seeing it five times on Raw wasn’t enough for you. We also see the ending with Ryback getting beaten down again.

We open with MizTV. The guest tonight? John Cena. Well you can’t say they’re being weak with the guests on this one. Cena sits on a couch and says this is awesome. Miz talks about how Cena is more famous for his in ring stuff but lately it’s been like a TMZ story. To prove it, we see the Cena/AJ kiss for the second time in five minutes. Miz asks how the kiss was and how Cena’s knee is after the attack by Ziggler. Apparently Cena has a tweeked knee but it’s nothing serious.

Well that’s enough about wrestling, so let’s talk about AJ some more. Miz wants to know if Cena and AJ are more than just friends, but Cena is tired of hearing that question. Cena does admit that AJ is a good kisser though. Riveting stuff here people. Miz again asks if they’re more than just friends and here’s AJ before Cena can answer. AJ says Cena was just doing that to prove a point to Vickie but Cena seems to dispute this. Miz makes fun of them for being in love, but Cena calls Miz an idiot.

This brings out Ziggler because this segment needs to keep going for some reason. Ziggler says that it’s AJ’s fault that Cena hurt his knee because she burst into the men’s locker room. Pay no attention to the fact that Cena hurt his knee jumping out of the ring after Ziggler which we already saw a video of today I guess. This of course leads to ANOTHER video from Raw with AJ going into the locker room and yelling at Ziggler, leading to a brawl between Dolph and Cena.

Since we haven’t covered this entire storyline yet, here’s Vickie to run her mouth a bit more. Vickie says Dolph kisses real woman which Cena calls a lie because there’s no proof Vickie is an actual woman. Guerrero insists their relationship is just professional and Dolph says he’d bring the woman out of AJ. Cena says Vickie is nuts and Dolph is still looking for his. The segment finally ends with nothing at all new being added.

Ryback vs. Darren Young

Young comes out second which is kind of odd. Titus sits in on commentary. Young pounds away to start but Ryback casually shoves him down. Young gets his head slammed into the mat and Titus blows the whistle at him. Ryback takes Young’s head off with a clothesline on the floor and we head back in. Titus: “Somebody get that boy some medication. Something’s wrong with him.” Meat Hook and Shell Shock end this in 2:03. I’m sure Young will in a title match soon after this and WWE will be confused when no one buys him as a title contender.

Titus yells at Ryback post match and gets a Shell Shock too.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

This is non-title and is happening because Cesaro has only beaten Truth clean once so far, which means absolutely nothing in the modern WWE. Cesaro insults Thanksgiving before the match as you would expect him to do. Cesaro immediately hits the gutwrench suplex followed by a double stomp and a body vice. Truth comes back with punches and a side kick before countering the Neutralizer with a backdrop. Little Jimmy hits for the clean pin at 1:33.

Just to recap: Cesaro pinned Truth 100% clean at Survivor Series, then Truth gets another match with him and pins him in under two minutes. I SO want to see another match between them now and this certainly doesn’t hurt Cesaro’s credibility at all. My goodness they bring so many problems on themselves it’s unreal. Have Truth beat ANYONE else to earn another shot and this problem does not exist. Is it any surprise that Cesaro is a total afterthought at this point?

Sheamus arrives and Booker stops him from going to the locker room. Due to the attack at Survivor Series, Sheamus can’t compete tonight. Instead Booker gives him a chairs match for the title at TLC. Sheamus gets to go to Booker’s personal suite and watch the show. Big Show has a handicap match later against HELL NO.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

The lights are back. JBL says Del Rio is a former AAA champion but I can find no record of that anywhere. Cara immediately knocks him to the floor and hits a big dive on Del Rio and Rodriguez for two back inside. A big running kick misses Del Rio and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Alberto. Cara’s right shoulder goes into the post and we take a break.

Back with Alberto pulling on the mask before shifting over to a chokehold. Del Rio fires off kicks to the back as JBL continues to amuse me. Josh talks about how he and JBL watched the 2/3 falls match earlier today, but JBL makes sure to point out that they were in separate rooms so people don’t think they’re friends. Back to the chinlock by Alberto but Cara comes back with a rana for two. Del Rio hits a kick to the side of the head, drawing a big gasp from the crowd but only getting two.

Things slow down a bit as JBL rips into Mil Mascaras a bit more. Alberto slams Cara down as the announcers stay in their argument. At least this one is entertaining though, unlike Titus and Jerry’s debate about washcloths on Raw. Back to the chinlock for a bit but Cara speeds things up and hits an armdrag and cross body for two. The Tajiri Elbow looks to set up the Swanton but Del Rio arm drags Cara off the top and the Cross Armbreaker gets the tap at 6:21 shown of 9:51.

Rating: C. The commentary was more entertaining than the match here but the match wasn’t bad. Seeing Del Rio ground Cara and work the arm over was another example of the solid psychology that Alberto has, which is one of the things that makes him so fun to watch. Pretty decent little TV match here.

Bryan tells Kane to stay out of his way tonight because he can beat Big Show in 45 seconds. Kane asks Bryan if he thinks that’s going to happen again. Guess what Bryan says. Kane says he and Show used to be tag champions and thinks Bryan and Show could be a team called No Show. Bryan: “Is this because I didn’t invite you to my house for Thanksgiving?” Kane: “…….maybe.” Bryan says it was great because they had vegan turkey. Kane wants to know what the point is. If they win tonight, Kane gets to come over for Christmas and beat up Santa Claus. These two are still hilarious.

Big Show vs. HELL NO

The champs (as in the tag champs) have to tag here and Bryan starts with Big Show. Bryan’s trunks are partially black tonight which is a new look for him. Bryan fires off kicks to the leg but Show shoves him down with ease to take over. Show sends him shoulder first into the buckle and works over the arm a bit which isn’t usually his custom. Show lifts him up in the air by the beard as JBL kind of rips into Josh for calling Bryan a goat face.

Bryan comes back with more kicks but Show casually shoves him back down. Back to the arm as Show drops a knee on it and shouts at Kane a bit. Do all the shouting you want as long as we don’t have to sit through another Show vs. Kane match. Show misses a middle rope elbow as Regal and Sheamus are watching from the sky box. Bryan has a chance to tag but shouts NO instead and fires off kicks to Show.

A big kick to the head puts Show down but Show LAUNCHES Bryan off of the cover at two. The chokeslam is countered into a guillotine choke but Show (who is supposed to have a knee injury isn’t he?) throws him off. It’s a sleeper now from Bryan which lasts for over a minute without Show going down at all. There’s the hot tag to Kane who dropkicks Show’s knee out and hits a top rope flying body attack (it was supposed to be the clothesline) but the chokeslam is broken up. A DDT puts Show down but Bryan tags himself in. Bryan tries the NO Lock and Kane walks. The hold is broken and the chokeslam ends Bryan at 10:02.

Rating: C. Not bad here but did this need to be against the tag champions? That’s the problem with the way they’ve set up the roster: there are only a handful of teams that could challenge Big Show, but Show has been booked so strong that no one can give him a legit fight. Also you don’t want Show vs. Kane again as that might be considered torturing the audience. At the end of the day, there wasn’t much they could do here but job the champions. Again.

HELL NO beats up Big Show post match, because we need to make sure everyone stays strong. I know the idea of DON’T HAVE THEM FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE is hard to grasp, but it might be a better way to go.

Show yells at Sheamus, saying that he’ll have a chair too. Sheamus is all BRING IT ON!

Barrett comes out for commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Damien Sandow

Damien hits a quick suplex for two but Kofi rolls out of a belly to back suplex and sends Sandow to the outside. Kofi gets sent into the buckle and to the floor as well as we take a break. Back with Damien holding a kind of crossface chickenwing before hitting a knee to the ribs to keep control. Apparently Barrett has earned an IC Title shot from his win on Monday. What exactly did Damien do to get this show?

The Wind-Up Elbow gets two for Sandow followed by the running hip attack to the back of Kofi while he’s in 619 position (you come up with a name for it) for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. A quick slugout goes to Sandow because of Kofi’s bad eye and Kofi’s back gets rammed into the apron.

Sandow stomps away but Kofi gets up top for the cross body for two. Damien sends him into the middle buckle for a rollup for two, followed by the SOS for the same result for the champion. Kingston speeds things up and fires off chops and a dropkick to put Sandow down. There’s the Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 5:57 shown of 9:27.

Rating: C+. As usual, the midcard champion is in need of a win to get any kind of momentum back. You know, because we had to have him lose on Monday to Barrett. The better idea would have been to have Barrett win by referee’s stoppage, making it so that Kofi didn’t get pinned but acknowledging that he’s in danger against Barrett. But instead let’s just have him get pinned and have him lose some credibility because, you know, who cares about stuff like that. The match was fine.

Barrett says he’s coming for the title.

According to my watch, we’ve gone a whole twenty minutes since we talked about something on Raw, so here’s a recap of the end of the show with the Championship Celebration and Ryback getting beaten down again.

Reigns, Rollins and Ambrose will speak on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton

Main event time here. Orton pounds away to start and Ziggler hides in the corner. Ziggler takes him to the mat before pounding away on Randy’s head in the corner. Orton comes back with his dropkick for two and a slingshot suplex for the same. They head to the outside with Ziggler trying to hide in the crowd, but it’s kind of hard for a large man with blonde hair and pink trunks to hide, even in a mass of people.

Ziggler gets knocked down on the concrete as we take a break. Back with Dolph breaking out of a chinlock before Orton suplexes him right back down for two. With Ziggler laying on the apron, Orton stomps away and hits a slingshot to send Dolph throat first into the bottom rope and out to the floor. Ziggler throws Orton into the announce table and dropkicks him down, but Dolph might have injured his own knee in the process.

Back in and Ziggler erupts on Randy, pounding away on him with kicks and punches. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Ziggler’s knee seems to be fine. Orton fights up and gets that rolling cradle out of the corner for two. We get a dueling chant from the crowd as the chinlock goes on again, this time resulting in Orton punching his way out of it. Ziggler stops the comeback dead with a DDT for a close two. This is starting to get better.

Dolph goes up top and is immediately superplexed right back down. It’s cool to see Orton expanding his moveset with stuff like the superplex and the slingshot suplex he used earlier. There’s the powerslam followed by the Elevated DDT but the RKO is countered into a rollup with trunks for the surprise pin at 9:37 shown of 13:07.

Rating: B-. Solid TV main event here but it’s a match we’ve seen several times before. It’s nice to see Dolph win here and a little bit of cheating never huts a good heel. Orton is one of those guys who isn’t going to be hurt badly by a loss so there’s no problem on his end. Dolph seems to be getting a push lately, which is nice to see as it seems that he’ll be cashing in his case soon. Then again it’s felt like that for months now.

Post match Ricardo and Alberto try to run in but Orton hits the RKO on Ricardo and Alberto stops on the apron. WHY IS THIS STILL GOING??? Cena comes out and puts Ziggler in the STF on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Did I miss something or did almost nothing happen on this show? It felt like a supplement to Raw, and while it usually feels like one of those, this was even worse than usual. There was just nothing going on here at all and the booking made limited sense at best. The main event stuff seems to be pointing to a tag match which is fine, but other than that I’m not sure what the point of this show was. Nothing to see here at all.

Results

Ryback b. Darren Young – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro – Little Jimmy

Alberto Del Rio b. Sin Cara – Cross Armbreaker

Big Show b. HELL NO – Chokeslam to Bryan

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – Trouble in Paradise

Dolph Ziggler b. Randy Orton – Rollup with a handful of trunks

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