It’s time to take feuds that don’t belong in a Cell and lock them in a box in an attempt to make them seem more important.  Let’s get to it.We”ll start with the big one: Punk vs. Ryback.  This is an interesting one and a match I want to see for one reason: there are multiple options to who could win the match and that makes the match incredibly interesting.  I could see Punk or Ryback walking out with the title.  From what I’ve heard the house show matches have actually been decent which doesn’t surprise me given the guys in there.  At the end of the day I’m expecting Punk to retain but seeing Ryback take the title would be a nice surprise and something I’ve been calling for for months now.

The other world title match got a nice boost Friday (imagine that: the TV show before the PPV pushing a match) and I’m really not sure what to expect there either.  I’ll go with Sheamus to retain in a match that’s more entertaining than it has any right to be.

HELL NO to retain in another good match but I think the Scholars have a chance of taking the belts.  They’ll probably get the belts one day, but I’d rather see Sandow get a singles push.

I have a gut instinct that says Del Rio and while those are usually wrong, I’ll go with it.

Kofi to retain.

Kaitlyn gets the Divas Title.

Overall this has the potential to be a pretty good B show, but it’s not something I’m looking forward to aside from the main event.  The real main event that people are looking towards is Punk vs. Rock at the Rumble which I can’t see not happening, hopefully setting up a triple threat with Rock vs. Cena vs. Punk, which is what the story would seem to be building towards.  The show should be entertaining though, and that’s a step up for WWE after the disaster that was Raw.

Thought/predictions?

Smackdown
Date: October 26, 2012
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the PPV and I think everything major is set. We finally know the tag title match so you can probably expect to see some more about that. After the disaster of a Raw this week, maybe Smackdown can redeem things a bit. If nothing else, Sheamus vs. Big Show is probably the best feud going in the WWE right now. Let that sink in for a minute. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Orton to open the show. As he comes to the ring, we get a history of Orton vs. Del Rio, including the graphic for their match on Sunday. Does anyone else find it stupid looking when they have the video game graphics in the background? It takes away how serious the feud is supposed to be. Orton says he doesn’t hate Del Rio for attacking him last week, but rather why the attack happened. If it was because Del Rio was embarrassed for losing to Sheamus over and over, that’s one thing. But doing it and pretending to be a tough guy was a mistake.

Orton says he’ll be honest with Del Rio: on Sunday, Alberto is getting the most brutal beating of his life. Alberto cuts Randy off and says they’re doing this on Del Rio’s terms. Randy isn’t a viper but rather a garden snake. Orton says no one here knows what Del Rio just said. Apparently Del Rio is all talk and is a spineless bottom feeder with no cajones. Randy’s words, not mine. Del Rio starts to come to the ring with Orton saying bring it on, but here’s Barrett from behind to jump Orton.

Post break Del Rio is in the back when Teddy comes up. Before anything can be said, Barrett comes up and asks if that was what Del Rio was looking for. It’s Barrett vs. Orton tonight.

Kane vs. Cody Rhodes

Bryan and Sandow are on commentary. Kane takes him into the corner to start as Bryan and Sandow argue back and forth. There’s the top rope clothesline followed by an uppercut to put Cody down. Cody escapes a side slam and hits a running knee to the face of Kane. A Disaster Kick winds up being a dropkick for two and Cody goes for the knee. Sandow and Bryan argue over whose beard is better. Josh: “Damien what is your IQ approaching?” Sandow: “It’s approaching infinity. I become smarter merely by sitting here.” Cody tries that uppercut from the mat of his but Kane grabs him for the chokeslam and pin at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get anywhere but the champions dominated for the first time in this feud that I remember. This is an interesting feud as the champions completely dominate on an individual basis but when they combine it’s not so one sided. That makes for an interesting match on Sunday if nothing else.

Booker comes in to see Show, who is face to face with Sheamus tonight. Booker requests professionalism tonight but Show cuts him off. Show won’t cause any trouble because he’s got nothing left to prove until Sunday. I keep forgetting how tall Booker is.

The Miz vs. Yoshi Tatsu

There’s a name I haven’t seen in awhile. Feeling out process to start with Miz taking him down via a shoulder. They head to the floor with Tatsu having his back rammed into the barricade. A boot to the side of Yoshi’s head puts him down and Miz puts on a reverse chinlock with a hand full of face. Another running boot to the face takes Tatsu down. A belly to back suplex is countered into a cross body for two for Yoshi. Miz’s short DDT puts Yoshi right back down and it’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D+. Another squash here but even less competitive. Like I’ve said for a few weeks now though, WWE is finally starting to use its army of wrestlers in spots like this instead of someone that’s currently being used in a story. Yoshi losing here doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t hurt him at all while giving Miz a boost before the PPV. It’s not hard.

Video on the Egyptian tour.

Raw ReBound is Ryback destroying Punk on Monday.

We also get a video from Main Event with Heyman talking (on the monitor) about how Ryback isn’t in Punk’s league. Now when Miz (who is in the ring at this point. On Main Event that is) faced Ryback, he took his beating like a man. Ziggler losing to Ryback has no correlation with Punk because Punk is a much better strategist than Ryback.

It’s ANOTHER recap about the Divas situation with Kaitlyn saying she has proof of Eve being behind the attack at Night of Champions.

In Booker’s office, Aksana says it was a text from Eve and not an e-mail. Teddy tries to make sense of this whole story, which boils down to Eve is behind everything. Booker says if this is true, then Eve is off his staff. Eve says she’s too trustworthy and leaves her iPad and iPhone out with no pass code on it. More yelling ensues between all four girls in the office until it’s announced as Eve vs. Layla vs. Kaitlyn for the title. Tonight it’s a tag match though.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is sent to the floor very quickly with Orton following and in full control. Back in and Orton does his circle stomp before hooking a chinlock. Barrett comes back and sends Randy into the buckle but Orton clotheslines him down and drops a knee. They head to the floor with Orton being rammed face first into the apron a few times. As they come back in, Orton’s Elevated DDT is countered and Barrett sends him back to the floor.

Randy gets sent into the table and we take a break. Back with Barrett holding a chinlock, only for Orton to elbow out of it. Scratch that comeback as Orton gets taken right back down by Wade. Barrett puts Orton in the ropes and hits that running big boot to the face that looks awesome. A backbreaker gets two for Barrett and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Barrett fires off knees to the ribs of Orton followed by a clothesline for two.

Barrett tries going up top but gets crotched and eventually superplexed down for two. Randy starts his finishing sequence with the clotheslines and a powerslam. The place freaks out over the RKO coming up but Barrett comes back with the Winds of Change for two. Barrett misses the Souvenir and gets caught in Orton’s over the back backbreaker. Now the Elevated DDT hits and Orton loads up the RKO, but here’s Del Rio. The distraction lets Barrett hit the Souvenir for the pin at 9:12 shown of 12:42.

Rating: C+. The more I see of Barrett the more I like him. He’s got a good physical style and looks like he could take down anyone in any given match. Orton losing here is fine as it advances his feud with Del Rio before the payoff on Sunday. I’m already digging this feud WAY more than the Sheamus one, mainly because there’s a chance Alberto could win.

Post match Del Rio attacks but neither the cross armbreaker or the RKO can hit.

Aksana/Eve Torres vs. Kaitlyn/Layla

Layla and Aksana get things going but it’s off to Kaitlyn. Aksana continues to be the current worst worker on the roster so thankfully it’s off to Eve. She pounds on Kaitly a bit but a backsplash hits knees. Eve blocks the tag to Layla so we get more Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn runs over both heel girls and Layla kicks Aksana in the ribs. Layla misses a high kick and knocks Kaitlyn out, giving Eve the pin on Kaitlyn at 3:43.

Rating: D+. To be fair, the girls aren’t as terrible as they used to be as Kaitlyn is at least passable in the ring. Layla and Kaitlyn….eh not so much. Aksana continues to be there for looks only but someone has to do that I suppose. Not horrible here, but the NXT Divas matches are much more entertaining lately.

Raw ReBound sums up the Vickie/AJ/Cena stuff.

Sheamus doesn’t believe Show will be calm tonight.

Kane tells Bryan that he won his match so if Bryan loses, it’s clear that Bryan is the weak link.

Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow offers the audience some better words than YES to use, such as undoubtedly his beard is better than Bryans and absolutely the Rhodes Scholars will win the titles on Sunday. Kane and Bryan are in on commentary now. They start on the floor before Bryan takes over with kicks in the corner back inside. Bryan works on the arm as we take a break. Back with Sandow on the floor and Bryan firing off kicks.

Back in and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and the windup elbow for two. Off to a chinlock before Sandow fires away right hands to the head. Kane won’t say a thing. Bryan starts firing off the YES Kicks and backdrops Damien to the floor. There’s a suicide dive and Cody gets in Bryan’s face. Kane goes after Sandow but no DQ has been called yet. Cody posts Bryan and Sandow slides in for the Terminus and the pin at 5:00 shown of 8:30.

Rating: C. Sandow getting a pin on Bryan is a big win for him and splitting up the wins tonight is a good move for the tag match. Nothing great here but seeing Damien hang in there with a guy like Bryan is a great sign. The guy could be a big deal for years to come, and having him get wins like this is a good idea.

Here are Sheamus and Big Show for their face to face time. There’s a ton of security here just in case. Show lists off a lot of famous finishers that the KO Punch is stronger than, including the Brogue Kick which they’ve proven scientifically. Sheamus says the KO Punch has to connect to work, so Show gives us some footage from a few weeks ago where he blocked the Brogue Kick.

Show says the Kick can’t get high enough and it’s a matter of physics that says Sheamus can’t beat him. If Sheamus thinks he can win, he’s either stupid or delusional. Sheamus there there are two thinks he loves: cold ale on a hot day and a good fight. The idea of fighting Show has his mouth watering. Sheamus again says that the title he holds today is the same as the WCW Title.

The champ is looking forward to fighting Show because he’s the ultimate fight. Show says Sheamus is scared but Sheamus says he doesn’t care how many Brogue Kicks it takes. Sheamus shouts that the time for fighting is now and it’s on. The security all gets tossed out but Show leaves before fighting Sheamus. Good hard sell for the title match here which you don’t get enough of anymore.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a solid go home show as the main matches all got a focus. The show isn’t going to be great but they’ve done enough here to make me interested in seeing it, which is exactly what they were shooting for here. I’m pleased by how Big Show vs. Sheamus is looking, as they’ve done a great job of building up the idea of can Sheamus beat him. I’m not at all saying it’s a great feud or that the match is going to be awesome, but they’ve done well with what they’ve got. Good show tonight.

Results

Kane b. Cody Rhodes – Chokeslam

The Miz b. Yoshi Tatsu – Skull Crushing Finale

Wade Barrett b. Randy Orton – Souvenir

Eve Torres/Aksana b. Layla/Kaitlyn – Torres pinned Kaitlyn after a high kick from Layla

Damien Sandown b. Daniel Bryan – Terminus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 24, 2006
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

More ECW goodness here as we inch closer to Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match which means we’re inching closer to December to Dismember and the night ECW was thrown off a cliff. The main event tonight is a ladder match between Van Dam and Big Show, which may or may not be for a shot at Show’s title. The only other thing I have to say is this is being written six years to the day of the show which isn’t interesting but it fills in some lines. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last week with Van Dam pinning Big Show. During that match, Hardcore Holly saved Van Dam from an attack by Test.

Theme song.

Here’s RVD to open things up. He brags about being the first guy to beat the Big Show and says he wants the world title shot now. Here’s Heyman with his security who praises RVD and has a contract for a title match for RVD. But that contract is going to be held above the ring and must be retrieved using a ladder. Why would Heyman agree to give Van Dam his specialty match to get a title shot? Why not make it like a body slam challenge or something like that? Either way, the security jumps Van Dam but gets beaten up just as quickly.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Punk immediately hits a kind of spinebuster to take Striker down and Striker is in trouble on the mat. We get some chain wrestling before Punk sends him down to escape a cravate. They trade a series of hammerlocks but Striker finally grabs the rope to escape. Punk fires off knees to the head but gets sent shoulder first into the post. Striker works on the arm for a bit but Punk kicks him in the head to escape. The knee in the corner and the bulldog sets up Punk’s finishing sequence but Mike Knox runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a squash until we got to Punk getting beaten up for the DQ. Striker was a fine character as the whole teacher thing worked really well, but at the end of the day the guy was not any good in the ring at all. There are only so many ways you can get around that and Striker never found one. Punk vs. Knox hopefully will end soon.

We get a quick recap of Holly going after Heyman a few weeks ago which also sets up Holly vs. Test tonight.

Test vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly pounds away to start and Test is all BRING IT ON. Test drops to the floor and Holly is fine with taking it out there. He isn’t however fine with being sent into the post and being sent back in for more pounding from Test. Holly comes back with a kick and a legdrop as the fans aren’t thrilled with this match.

Test gets tied up in the ropes and Holly pounds away even more. That’s what this whole match has been for about three minutes or so now: punching and occasional kicking. Holly suplexes Test over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Test with a body grip on the mat. During the break Test rammed Holly’s back into the post three times. How nice of them to put that during the break and let us see this rest hold instead.

Test sends Holly into the corner for two and puts on a bearhug. Holly escapes and kicks a bent over Test in the face to put both guys down. A big back elbow puts test down as does a clothesline. Holly hits a top rope clothesline for two but Test elbows him down and goes up, only to get crotched. Holly gets two off a middle rope legdrop before escaping the pumphandle slam. The Alabama Slam is countered too so Holly kicks Test in the very low abdomen. Test pokes him in the eye and sends him shoulder first into the post. That and a rollup with a handful of tights gets the pin.

Rating: D. There are multiple problems here. Problem #1: the match sucked. It was mainly punching and kicking and boring back work which didn’t go anywhere. Second, at the end of the day this is Test vs. Hardcore Holly, the latter of which wrestling as a face. Holly, in this character at least, is one of the least likable guys in ECW. The other problem is the same one I’ve said many times: these guys are career midcarders in the WWE and it’s really hard to care about the two of them fighting. They’re on ECW because they’re not good enough to make it on Raw or Smackdown, and the match is evidence of that.

Post match Test hits Holly in the back with a chair a few times.

More Marine nonsense.

We run down a few matches for Cyber Sunday, including picking Umaga’s opponent. Sandman is an option, and Sandman says he thinks he’s the best option because it’ll be violent and bloody. Well Sandman never was much of a talker.

Rob Vam Dam vs. Big Show

It’s a ladder match and if Van Dam wins, he gets a title shot at Show at some point in the future. The bell rings after a break which is nice as we don’t have to waste part of the match later. Van Dam immediately gets a ladder which is a smart move….I think. Show throws the ladder out so Van Dam starts firing off kicks. He hits a slingshot legdrop to the back of the head to take over and brings the ladder back in. Show comes back with a headbutt and chop to take over.

Rob gets whipped into the ladder in the corner, sending him to the floor. Show tries a different approach, lifting the ladder in the air and swatting at the contract. Rob gets in a shot and brings in another ladder to blast Show in the head. Show is cut open and Van Dam leans a ladder against the corner. He shoves the ladder at Show and kicks said ladder against Show’s head. Nice move.

Rolling Thunder hits the ladder which is on top of Show but Rob’s back is hurt too. Rob goes up but Show shoves him onto the ropes to slow things down again. A ladder to the back keeps Show down and man is the champion bleeding badly. Show stands on a ladder on top of Van Dam and Rob is in trouble. Show spears Rob down to stop a comeback attempt and hits a simple punch to the head to take Rob down again.

Van Dam gets slammed down onto the ladder but Show’s Vader Bomb misses….as always. Are heels that confident that they keep trying the same moves over and over again even though it’s NEVER worked? There are big welts on Rob’s sides. The left side of Show’s face is COVERED in blood. He can see well enough to chokeslam Rob down but he’s slow and fat so it takes him forever go climb the ladder. Rob climbs up even faster and hits a seated senton into a rana over the top. Rob gets up and sprints up the ladder to get the contract for the win and the title shot. Apparently Van Dam gets to pick the time and place.

Rating: C+. The idea for a Big Show ladder match is to have the other guy use the ladder while Show uses his size and power with the ladder as the occasional prop. That worked here as it was Van Dam bouncing off Show the entire match and a high risk/leverage move that got the win for Van Dam. Good match here, especially for an ECW main event.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good, but the rest of the stuff here wasn’t working. Guys like Test and Holly are not interesting, especially when they’re the same guys they’ve been for years but on Tuesdays instead of Mondays. The main event stuff is fine, but the heels on this show other than Big Show are horrible at this point. Good main event, but a weak show overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

No Way Out 2000
Date: February 27, 2000
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 12,551
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is more or less about one thing: Hell in a Cell. If Cactus Jack loses, he retires. Other than that there isn’t a lot to talk about. Oh actually there is. At the Rumble, Big Show had been thrown out but claimed that Rock was out first. Tonight there’s a match where the winner goes to Mania. The Radicals are here now also so we have a fully fleshed out roster for this era. This is a direct request from X and others so let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Foley vs. HHH as Foley’s dream is to go to Mania. This was a very emotional time actually as honestly no one was sure what was going to happen since more or less no one believed they would retire Foley without letting him main event Mania. On the other hand though, there was little belief they would do a title change. Also there was no way of knowing what the main event at Mania would be. This was a very interesting time indeed.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Angle is European Champion here but it’s not on the line. Jericho is IC Champion and has Chyna with him. She has that giant phallic gun with her. I wonder if she was trying to say that yes, I am indeed a man with that. Jericho gets a GREAT pop. Please Vince, give us a Jericho title run with him as a face.

Angle is apparently an idiot, an ignoramus, and an imbecile. Jericho has an I of his own: the Intercontinental Title. That’s simple but the delivery is what makes it. Naturally this starts off fast paced as the Attitude Era was still around for the most part. Meaning of course, we go to the floor.

These two plus Benoit always had mad chemistry together and it was clear they were the future. Well kind of I guess. Jericho was. Benoit….maybe. Angle is hard to place in a pantheon of greatness. Crowd starts an ANGLE SUCKS chant. That’s ahead of its time as Edge hasn’t started the more famous chants yet.

I know I haven’t given much commentary here, but dude, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Do I need to tell you that this match is awesome? Jericho hits that spinning heel kick that he does quite well at. In a lucky botch, Jericho messes up the follow through on the forearm but he landed on Angle so it looked intentional.

As Ventura said, sometimes it’s better to be lucky that good. They go into some swank submission vs. pinfall stuff and it’s sweet stuff. Angle gets the Slam out of nowhere when it was A, still a legit finisher (ankle lock was still about 5 months away) and B, MUCH faster and harder, gets two. We get a Liontamer which shifts into the Walls. Angle goes to get a belt and swings at Chyna. She gets rammed into the steps.

I’m no doctor but it seems to be a bad case of dramatic convenience. My diagnosis would be a short apology to Jericho. Possible side effects include a brief bit of jobbing. Take a Lionsault and call me in the morning. Back in the ring, Angle gets the belt up to block the Lionsault for the pin and the title to make him the 2nd Eurocontinental Champion. Another referee comes down to do nothing of note.

Rating: B+. This is another pairing that gets a higher than normal starting grade. Just based on who they are, they get an automatic B. This was a very nice opener as you have two guys that you know can go and it worked out fine. Again though like I’ve said before, it’s Angle vs. Jericho. Did you expect anything worse than a good match?

The Dudleys say there will be another title change tonight. This was when the Dudleys were still insanely awesome.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. New Age Outlaws

So the Outlaws are more or less the biggest team ever at this point and this is just another title defense against the Dudleys who took the company by storm. Think Sheamus vs. Cena from TLC. Lawler randomly barking at Road Dogg is rather funny for some reason. After the normal intros we start with a big brawl of course.

The crowd is pretty hot but you can tell they’re saving themselves for the main event. Billy beat Bubba on Thursday and put him through a table. Road Dogg does his dancing punch and Bubba does what someone with intelligence would do (the irony of that stuns me) and DUCKS.

We get a What’s Up but it’s not named yet. This match is very short, as in like 5 minutes long. The Dudleys dominate for the most part until the required big brawl at the end. On the floor, Bubba blasts Gunn in the arm with a pipe. That legitimately injured him, putting him out of action for about 8 months.

When he got back Road Dogg was with K-Kwik (R-Truth) and Gunn got a singles push. Therefore unless there was some random reunion, this is the last New Age Outlaws match. Bubba realizes something is wrong and runs into the ring for 3D and the tag titles. This was a legit shock as more or less NO ONE thought the Dudleys had a chance.

Rating: D+. Way too short to be much of anything which I’m pretty sure was because of the injury. That happens so you do what you have to do. This would set up the triple ladder match at Mania and the first TLC match at Summerslam as wrestling started the HOLY CRAP period of gimmick matches. Yes I know ECW did them first but theirs were far sloppier and became clichéd. Ok to revise it so I don’t get yelled at: the holy crap period started in the mainstream. There.

Apparently Billy was hurt coming in and got hurt worse during the match. Got it.

We get a short package on Mark Henry vs. Viscera. Oh dang it they’re fighting over Mae being pregnant and Viscera hurting her. For those of you that don’t know about this angle, consider yourselves VERY lucky. If you ever hear a joke about a hand, this is what we’re talking about. We’ll leave it at that.

Mark Henry vs. Viscera

Be quick I beg of you. They flat out say this isn’t going to be a pretty match with JR mentioning the star system. They destroy the steps with Henry taking a beating. Yeah I don’t care either. We get references to babies and I change the subject immediately. Basically Henry is getting destroyed. And here’s Mae Young for the save. After she gets shoved down, Henry hits a shoulder block which Viscera gets up from first, and a slam, yes a slam I say, gets the pin. What were they freaking thinking here?????

Rating: F-. Oh do I really need to explain this?

Jericho says he’s mad at Angle, not Chyna. Dang I want to see that sweet triple threat from Mania now.

Gunn’s shoulder is still hurt.

Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian

Again, do I need to tell you that this is going to be good? Terri bought the APA to protect her from the Dudleys earlier. I guess the tag team she has already, the Hardys, aren’t good enough? Both teams are faces here. I love Edge and Christian’s music. Edge jumps Jeff to start.

At least you can tell the Hardys apart now as they’re wearing different colors shirts. Has anyone ever adjusted their set before? Is there a need to tell fans not to do that? The shirts go off and the fans cheer. They need Lita badly, they really do. She’ll hook up with them in about 3 months.

The Hardys are seeming a bit heelish here but they’re wildly popular so there we are. These four were in an 8 man tag on Smackdown which apparently makes them familiar with each other. Yeah that’s stupid. In a nice spot, Christian does a drop toe hold on Edge into Matt’s groin.

Lawler asks where Edge was aiming. JR: THE GROIN! It’s funnier than it sounds. Edge gets a nice piledriver on Jeff but it’s not Memphis so it just gets two. It’s a more solid match than I’m making it out to be. It’s nothing great but all four guys are hustling and it’s coming off good. You have to remember this is a fresh match at this point so it’s far more interesting.

It’s so weird to think that Edge and Hardy would be having world title matches in like 9 years. We get the double tag to Christian and Matt Hardy as this match is getting some solid time. In a slick spot, Edge is on Matt’s shoulders with Christian behind them. Jeff jumps over Edge as he hooks a victory roll and lands on Christian in a cross body for a double cover. SWEET. Poetry in Motion is countered into a spear. This is awesome stuff.

Terri turns on Jeff and shoves him off the top rope for no apparent reason. She slaps Matt and the move that will become known as the Unprettier gets the pin. It’s weird seeing all these moves with no names. Apparently Terri wants to join Edge and Christian. They leave her. That made them number one contenders I guess. Yeah the APA did absolutely nothing here. Matt goes after Terri and NOW the APA do something.

Rating: B+. Just like the opener, this was solid stuff. This was over fifteen minutes of awesome though so I was very happy. Solid stuff all around with four guys that were taking the tag division to new levels that hadn’t been seen in about 15 years. Great match.

Edge and Christian show some signs of issues but they’re happy they’re going to Mania for the title shot.

Show is will Lillian. She BARELY comes up to his chest. He says he should be going to Mania and we see Rock’s feet hitting first again. That’s really impressive when you think about it.

Big Bossman vs. Tazz

Yeah remember when Bossman was fighting for the world title two months ago? Neither do I. Bossman and Albert jumped him on Heat for no apparent reason. Taz is still over at this point and was supposed to get Benoit’s push but Hardcore Holly screwed up a spot at Mania and put Taz on the shelf. They start in the aisle of course. Taz hooks an armbar on the floor. He’s a submission master at this point also.

MAYBE a minute in Taz gets the Tazmission and Bossman is more or less done so Albert makes the save. A nightstick attack follows. Was there a point anywhere near this? Tazz keeps fighting back. If you want to make him look tough, have Tazz destroy both guys in a minute or so. Seriously, I have NO CLUE what the point of this was. Boss Man breaks the nightstick over Tazz’s head. This went nowhere that I remember. Tazz gets up AGAIN as this isn’t making him look awesome or anything. It’s freaking stupid at this point.

Rating: W. For WTF was that???

Angle is in the cheap seats celebrating with a bullhorn.

We recap Kane vs. X-Pac because the massacre at Armageddon wasn’t enough to blow off the feud I guess. This was one of the feuds that made X-Pac so hated. It just kept going on this theory that Pac could fight a monster. I mean this angle went on for about 6 months.

For those that haven’t read my Armageddon review, Kane DESTROYED Pac in a cage match. If that had ended the feud, it would have been ok. They kept it going though with Tori, Kane’s girlfriend, left him for X-Pac. It’s a great example of an angle that went on too long. Oh and Paul Bearer is back.

Kane vs. X–Pac

It’s No Holds Barred. We get a clip of Kane being hit with a flamethrower. You know Kane, maybe when you see a guy that hates you holding A BIG METAL GUN, you shouldn’t stand in front of him. Kane is in the reversed color outfit here, making him look awesome again. Yes I’m a big Kane mark so there you go.

They fight up by the entrance where there’s a random metal garbage can. Does anyone actually have those? We have big green plastic ones. It’s a total brawl so far which at least makes sense with the stipulation. We get Bearer vs. Tori. Ok then. Pac is wrestling in a t-shirt which is gone by the time that line is typed.

Bronco Buster hits. I hate that move. That’ll end that. X Factor barely keeps Kane down. That could have something to do with the fact that it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. Top rope clothesline looks awesome. Chokeslam hits and you can feel Tori coming. Yep there it is. She gets a tombstone and Kane picks up the stairs for no adequately explored reason. They’re kicked into his face for the pin. The blowoff for this was of all things Rikishi and Kane vs. Pac and Road Dogg. Yeah it was an odd pick, but so was all of Mania 2000.

Rating: C+. Not bad for a brawl, but still there was no point to this after Armageddon. I mean Kane beating up Pac is always fun, but the angle just makes limited sense to me. Bearer was worthless here so at least some things never change. It’s not bad, but at the same time you scratch your head over it.

The Radicalz are ready for their PPV debut. Eddie is hurt here after shattering his arm in his WWF debut. They all say something. This is rather worthless.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Radicalz

It’s Benoit, Saturn and Malenko in case you weren’t around at this point. Rikishi hadn’t quite gotten to his mega push yet but it was coming. It sucked beyond belief, but it was coming. Guerrero has a lead pipe for no apparent reason and gets beaten up before the match starts. Saturn and Grandmaster start us off. Why do I get the idea that these three guys are just not good enough to be in there with Benoit and Malenko?

Rikishi has a bad leg here so the Radicalz show intelligence by GOING AFTER IT. Seriously, why do wrestlers have such issues with figuring that out? There’s a nice dichotomy here with three well schooled and master technicians vs. three more or less comedy characters that are ok in the ring. That’s rather interesting when you think of it.

Rikishi is rather over if nothing else. That Rikishi Driver of his is just awesome. It looks freaking devastating if nothing else. It connects on Saturn and we get the Worm. We hit the messy stage which was destined to happen here so there we are. Saturn takes ANOTHER finisher, this time the guillotine leg drop from Grandmaster. Benoit hits the headbutt for the save and everyone goes to the floor. The Driver hits on Malenko and the visual of him just stopping is great. A Banzai Drop ends it. Naturally we dance for a bit.

Rating: B-. This match worked for one reason: Too Cool and Rikishi just wrestled for the most part. It wasn’t about comedy or a stupid gimmick or anything like that. It was a six man tag match and it came off pretty well. At the end of the day, good old fashioned wrestling is going to work better than anything else. This match right here is pretty much proof of that. It’s not great, but given who was on the face side, this was great.

Angle is STILL celebrating. The early months of his career were just freaking epic.

We recap Rock vs. Big Show which is very simple: Rock was out at the Rumble but got the win anyway. The match is for the title shot. Simple yet effective, and brilliantly done.

Big Show vs. The Rock

This is around the time when Show was still pretty good. If you’ve never seen it, go check out his 95/96 stuff. He’s a totally different guy than he is now and the difference is staggering. Rock gets a great pop as the super-push continues. Here’s something you likely wouldn’t guess: Show is just three months older than Rock. I NEVER would have guessed that.

Show has been around forever but he’s only 37. That’s hard to believe. He debuted when he was 23. That’s amazing. He really was a big deal when he jumped I guess as while he was a former WCW Champion, his reigns never were very big deals.

Granted they weren’t in WWF either. We’re on the floor now which is fine for a match this big. Show gets a press slam and drops Rock on the railing. That would HURT. After standard stuff between these two, another referee comes down, followed by Shane. Rock Bottom hits but Shane knocks Rock out with the chair, turning heel and siding with Show. That’s enough for the pin and the Mania title shot. That kind of happened, but not quite as you likely know.

Rating: B-. Not bad but really more advancing a story than about the match. Rock was about as hot as anyone on the planet at this point though so this was just continuing that hot streak as it wasn’t bad at all. Show winning was a real surprise though so I have to give them credit for that one.

We recap HHH vs. Cactus. You know the story, but more or less they’re feuding and it’s Title vs. Career. HHH said Foley could have any match he wanted, but if Foley lost he was done. When Foley said Hell in a Cell, the arena lit up. After the street fight classic they had, everyone knew this was going to be epic.

Angle, singing We Are the Champions, is thrown into a car trunk by Jericho and Chyna. That’s just awesome. The song not the beating.

WWF Title: Cactus Jack vs. HHH

In case you’re a freaking idiot, remember that this is Hell in a Cell. Seriously, why does Fink have to announce that? Here’s a hint: BIG FREAKING CAGE! The cage coming down over them is just epic. Oh there’s a subplot here: Cactus swore he would jump off the top of the cage but the Cell is HEAVILY locked. Here we go. Jack starts off in control here and hits a running jumping forearm. Yeah I was shocked too.

It should be noted that the crowd is kind of into this but not really at all. In his book, Foley mentions this and thought it was a sign that no one cared about him possibly being gone forever. Foley’s shirt is really torn already. On the floor, HHH gets the steps ready for the running step spot. However, he doesn’t hit it. HE FREAKING THROWS THEM AT FOLEY! That was just AWESOME looking.

The fans think Stephanie is a sl**, but still are relatively quiet. Chair time. In a funny moment, HHH takes a shot to the balls with a chair and Lawler says STEPHANIE! Double Arm DDT on a chair for a long two and….NO REACTION. Spinebuster on the chair and HHH gets two.

Foley said he was panicking here as he thought they were just failing in the eyes of the fans. They’re not dead silent but one of Jack’s finishers on a chair got a whimper. On the floor Foley gets a nice slingshot to send HHH into the cage. And now it’s Foley cranking it up. It’s been a very back and forth match and HHH is busted.

Foley does the chair dive off the middle rope to the floor and the fans are waking up. Seriously we’re about ten minutes in and they’re just NOW waking up. Foley picks up the steps and throws them at HHH (nice bit of continuity there) and HHH ducks (nice psychology there). He misses though and it hits the cage, breaking it. The roof is officially blown off. In his book, Foley said it hit him all at once: the fans were smart.

They knew the match wasn’t ending in the cage. They knew Foley and HHH were going to fight all over ringside including likely going to the top of the Cell. That makes a ton of sense. If you know the match isn’t going to end in the ring, why really care that much? In short, they didn’t. They were just waiting for Foley to find a way out of the cage and he just did.

We hit the floor and Cactus hits a piledriver on the table. A huge Foley chant starts up and Cactus starts climbing with HHH still on the table. Fans are WAY into it now. Stephanie makes the save just before Foley finds the 2×4 in barbed wire. Oh yes. A quick shot to the head and Foley is dominating. And HHH is climbing the cage out of fear of Foley. The crowd is losing it. Oh and the 2×4 is up there too.

Foley has his hands on top but HHH slams Foley’s head into the 2×4, and we get AIR FOLEY as he falls through the, say it with me, SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! He gets up before HHH can get down the cage. HHH is STUNNED. Foley tries to throw a chair up top but he can’t get it up. That’s an odd segment but for some reason it’s interesting. He gets to the top but walks into a barbed wire shot. Everyone is just waiting for the big spot here. Everything up there is terrifying as you never know what’s going to happen.

The corner of the cage breaks and HHH nearly falls through. We get a suplex on the top of the cage. Foley gets the 2×4 again, and in the words of Bubba Dudley from Rise and Fall of ECW, “Why don’t we just light it on fire?” The fans have NO idea what to think of this but they love it. He lays it on the Cell and gives a sign for a piledriver. It’s reversed and Foley goes through the Cell and THROUGH THE RING.

Remember, that’s from a good 12-15 feet up. HHH gets down and CACTUS GETS UP. HHH loses his mind over that and beats him down again. Pedigree hits and that’s finally it. DANG . Back in the day, especially after Show won, there was NO predicting who would win this. Epic match. Foley gets the big sendoff, and while he would get a reward of being in the main event of Mania, not even he knew that at the time. If I remember right he found out a week before the PPV, so it was a legit shock.

Rating: A+. It never ceases to amaze me how they find new ways to use the Cell. First it was Taker stalking Shawn, then it was a total eruption, and now a hybrid where Foley is this unstoppable monster in there with HHH afraid to fight but it’s a massacre anyway. Either way, this was a great match with Foley going out in a classic, jobbing like he did better than anyone else. Excellent match with a great ending and some GREAT spots. The pops were off the charts and the whole thing is just great.

Overall Rating: A. I was about to push the – key but I couldn’t do it. This is a VERY good show all around. There are some bad spots like the Taz beating and the battle of the fat boys but they’re a combined 8 minutes max so how much can I complain? Some very good matches, but this is one of those shows where you get more than the matches add up to.

There’s a feeling here that it’s hard to describe, but you’ll know it if you see the show. Of the matches with meaning, there aren’t any bad ones. Easily worth seeing and a very good show that I enjoyed a lot.

 Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2012
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

Back to the blue show after things have taken a fresh turn on Raw. We’re closing in on the Cell where apparently Show vs. Sheamus isn’t in the Cell, likely leaving them open for a rematch next month. I’m enjoying this story way better than I likely should but having a clash of two titans like this is always fun. Hopefully things pick up a bit on here. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a barn that my uncle fell off yesterday.

Here’s the now non-Intercontinental Champion Miz for MizTV. He has a NASTY looking gash above his eye from where Kofi kicked him on Monday. He’s cashing in his rematch clause and he’ll prove why he’s must see. No date is given but presumably it’s at the PPV. His guests tonight are HELL NO. Yeah the match is officially at the PPV. Miz says if they were a real tag team, they would come out together. Bryan offers to separate Miz’s teeth from his mouth. Miz makes fun of the Goat Face and says the lack of continuity is going to cost them the championships.

Kane says that he’s won tag titles with giants, psychopaths with multiple personalities and a dead man so Bryan is no problem. Bryan says that he’s the reason they’ll keep the titles because he’s the world’s toughest vegan. Kane says that’s like being the world’s tallest dwarf, but Bryan has that covered too. Miz: “Can I say something here?” Kane and Bryan: “NO!”

The champions argue again with Bryan mentioning the MITB cash in over Big Show, drawing out the big man for a rebuttal. Show says he has no issue with Kane (even though they’re fighting on Monday) but he has one with Bryan. He doesn’t want to hear about Bryan beating him in 45 seconds again or he’s going to knock Bryan out. He says he’ll knock Bryan out now but Kane gets in Show’s way, saying they don’t have to wait for Monday. This brings out….Dolph Ziggler?

Ziggler talks about how talking about Bryan and MITB is so last year and he should be the focus because he’s cashing in on either Sheamus or Big Show. Ziggler says if Bryan can do it to Big Show, how hard can it be? An argument breaks out and Booker comes out but Miz says that Booker can save his time because he knows what’s coming. Instead Booker makes HELL NO vs. Show/Ziggler and Miz vs. a surprise. When they have this huge tag division all of a sudden, do we need to have these one night only tag teams to fight them? Here’s Miz’s surprise.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is looking a bit more like he did in 2004. I think it’s the not being orange and having a bit more hair. This is joined in progress after a break with Randy clotheslining Miz down and stomping away. Del Rio and Ricardo are watching from a sky box. Miz pounds away in the corner but Orton comes right back and pounds away as well. A belly to back suplex gets two for Orton but Miz comes back and knocks Randy off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton in a chinlock which Miz follows up with a Reality Check for two. Striker is in the sky box to talk to Ricardo and Alberto. For all we know, right now Miz and Orton are doing the Charleston. Del Rio says he’s the new Apex Predator in the WWE and that’s about it. Back in the ring Miz hits the corner clothesline but Orton crotches him on the top. Orton superplexes Miz down for two and a clothesline puts Miz on the floor.

Back in and Orton glares at Del Rio before dropkicking Miz down for two. Miz comes back with the short DDT for two of his own. Orton comes back with a quick elevated DDT before going insane and loading up the RKO. Miz avoids it and tries the Finale but Orton rolls away and hits the RKO for the pin at 7:30 shown of 11:00.

Rating: C. Well at least Miz isn’t a champion anymore. The match wasn’t anything great but these two have never had the best chemistry. Miz seems to be the latest victim of of writers being bored syndrome as he came back, got a quick push, and then the push just stopped for the sake of someone else getting a push. It’s stuff like that which causes no one to be over or credible anymore.

Del Rio says they’re going to do this on his terms at HIAC.

Sheamus runs into Teddy in the back and the champ wants Barrett tonight. Teddy says he’ll talk to Booker about it and he’ll try to make it a lumberjack match. Sheamus: “I feel you playa.” Eve is lurking in the background.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Gabriel and Cody start but it’s off to Tyson very fast with a kick to the back for two. Cody and Sandow head to the floor with Gabriel taking Damien out with a dive. Cody gets in a cheap shot and we head back into the ring for some heel beating. Sandow takes him down and drops the windup elbow for two. Gabriel gets in a kick to the face to take Rhodes down and it’s off to Kidd. He cleans a few rooms of the house with a dropkick to the side of Sandow’s head but as he puts Damien in the Sharpshooter, Cody gets a blind tag and hits the Disaster Kick for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to see here as it’s just another Rhodes Scholars squash to set up the tournament final on Raw. This was a squash but it was nothing interesting. Also, we have another case of the back and forth booking as Kidd and Gabriel had good competitive matches with Cesaro but here’s they’re jobbers for a tag team. Either push the guys as good, tough opponents or make them full on jobbers.

Eve is sucking up to Booker in the back when Teddy comes in to pitch the lumberjack match idea to Booker. Eve says she’s been talking about that for weeks and Teddy stole his idea. Since apparently Booker doesn’t watch the show and no one with a brain in wrestling ever WATCHES THE TAPE FROM EARLIER WHICH THEY KNOW EXISTS BECAUSE THERE WAS A CAMERA RIGHT THERE, Teddy has no defense. Instead he looks at an iPad after the other two leave.

HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show

No entrances for either team. Bryan and Ziggler start things off with Bryan being taken to the mat in a bit of a surprise. A dropkick puts Daniel down and it’s off to Big Show. The other monster gets the tag and they slug it out with Show spearing Kane down. Show pounds away in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Kane to bring in Bryan for the NO kicks. The big kick to the head is blocked though and Show gorilla presses Bryan to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Ziggler ramming Bryan’s face into Show’s boot for one. Off to Show but Bryan avoids the chop in the corner. He tries to dive for Kane but Show easily throws him down. The chokeslam is countered into the DDT but Ziggler breaks up another tag with a neckbreaker on Bryan. Ziggler drops a bunch of elbows including a jumping version which gets two. Back to Show who punches Bryan in the ribs and puts on a stomach claw.

Off to Ziggler but he misses a Stinger Splash in the corner and there’s the hot tag to Kane. The Fameasser misses Kane but a big boot gets two on Ziggler. Bryan tags himself in of course, and hits a running clothesline on Dolph, followed by a running dropkick in the corner. Bryan dives at Big Show and gets shoved down as everything breaks down. Kane takes Show down and the NO Lock submits Ziggler at 10:02 shown of 13:32.

Rating: C. Dolph tapping out was the only way they could go here. I mean, he didn’t get beaten on Monday and by law he absolutely must job once a week so that his cash in will be as shocking as possible, and by shocking I mean really freaking obvious. Also I could go without having these random teams facing HELL NO every week.

The champs argue on the stage when Rhodes Scholars jump them. They’re not even pretending that the tournament is up for grabs anymore.

We recap the end of Barrett vs. Sheamus from Raw.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Ted DiBiase

Before the match we get a vignette of Cesaro at Sun Studio (where Elvis recorded a lot of his stuff) and criticizing country music. These kind of things are way better than seeing the people in the back all the time. Ted starts with a dropkick but gets sent to the floor almost immediately. Antonio drops Ted face first on the apron and we’re entering squash mode. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex and puts on a cravate. DiBiase makes a quick comeback with a clothesline and sitout spinebuster, but he jumps into the uppercut to stop him cold. There’s the Neutralizer for the pin at 2:39.

Raw ReBound is about the end of the show with the contract signing and Ryback killing Punk.

Heath Slater vs. Brodus Clay

The Band continues to look hilariously stupid. Slater jumps Brodus in the corner to start but the big man will have none of that. A suplex puts Slater down but Brodus charges into a boot in the corner. A middle rope missile dropkick staggers Clay but Slater gets killed by the overhead suplex. Clay has to chase off the Band and Slater hits that falling cutter of his for the pin at 1:55. It was nice looking at your girls Brodus. Sorry you had to die this badly.

Barrett isn’t sure Sheamus is a tough guy but he’s certainly stupid. Why fight Barrett tonight when you have to defend against Big Show? Wade hopes that Show remembers the beatdown tonight and wants the favor repaid once Show wins the title.

Layla vs. Natalya

They head to the mat and then the floor almost immediately with Nattie taking over. Eve continues to talk about the attack on Kaitlyn because that’s still a thing for some reason. Natalya hooks a modified abdominal stretch which is quickly escapes and a kick to the face gets Layla the pin at 1:55. It’s really hard to take Layla seriously when her song is about not being able to get enough sex and her video is of her dancing.

Teddy is with Kaitlyn and the iPad apparently belongs to Eve. Apparently there’s information on there that proves Eve is evil and needs to be stopped. Gee, who would have seen that coming? Kaitlyn takes a picture of the iPad screen. She says keep this quiet for now. You know, BECAUSE DOING THIS IN FRONT OF A CAMERA ON NATIONAL TELEVISION IS GOING TO KEEP THIS A SECRET!

Here are the lumberjacks for the main event.

Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus

Non-title of course and Show is a lumberjack. Barrett pounds away in the corner but the champion slugs right back. Barrett comes back with a kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two. Sheamus gets sat on the ropes for the big boot, knocking the champion to the outside. Back in that gets two as Big Show is just standing there watching. Sheamus is sent chest first into the buckle as the dominance continues. Matthews says it’s a stalemate. I’d hate to see a beating then.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus making a comeback and hitting a Regal Roll for no cover. There are the ten forearms in the ropes followed by White Noise. Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick but the 3MB pulls Barret to the floor. The champ dives on all of them to take them out but Barrett hits a running back elbow and a big boot for two back inside.

Wasteland is escaped and the Brogue Kick misses too. Barrett clotheslines Sheamus to the floor and it’s time for the big lumberjack brawl. Back in and Wade charges into the Irish Curse….and here’s HELL NO to get the Rhodes Scholars. Brogue Kick ends Barrett at 7:24 shown of 10:54.

Rating: C+. I usually love the brawls these two have but this was the short and not that great version. The focus was on the lumberjacks and while Sheamus got beaten up, it never felt like he was in any real danger. That made the main event more about waiting for the ending rather than being an interesting match. That’s not good but the match still wasn’t bad.

Post match Ziggler knocks Sheamus down and tries to cash in but Big Show knocks Ziggler out cold with the punch. Show says he’s taking the title at the PPV.

Overall Rating: D+. This show didn’t do anything for me. Aside from how uninteresting the Eve stuff is, now it’s just getting stupid as they have the evidence they need to prove she’s lying on tape and they won’t use it, and then they do something in front of a camera and say keep this secret. On top of that, the tournament final on Monday looks like a waste of time given what we saw here. Smackdown is just worthless at this point and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

Results

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Rhodes Scholars b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Disaster Kick to Kidd

HELL NO b. Dolph Ziggler/Big Show – NO Lock to Ziggler

Antonio Cesaro b. Ted DiBiase – Neutralizer

Heath Slater b. Brodus Clay – Falling Cutter

Layla b. Natalya – Kick to the head

Sheamus b. Wade Barrett – Brogue Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2012
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Josh Matthews, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’ve got three shows left before HIAC and things are starting to shape up. The main thing is that tonight Orton is going to be here, likely confronting Del Rio. Other than that we’ll likely see more from Sheamus vs. Big Show. The calendar says it’s time to lock them in a cage so the story better be ready for it, no matter how big of a jump it may be. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is a house guest at the moment.

No Cole tonight? Ok then.

Tonight there’s a KO Punch vs. Brogue Kick Challenge which starts right now. Here’s Booker to explain what’s going on. He talks about how everyone is wondering about which is stronger and we have the power of the punch machine from long ago on NXT. Both guys come out and Show thinks this is stupid. He won’t go first and says if you want to know how strong his punch is, ask everyone he’s knocked out. The fans boo which ticks Show off. Sheamus says he’ll go first if Show won’t.

Sheamus didn’t hit it perfectly but gets a score of 1322 pounds per square inch. Show thinks shenanigans are afoot and won’t do it. He rants some more and Sheamus asks if he needs a hug. Is it that Show is afraid of losing? It can’t be more embarrassing than Show’s last time as world champion. That’s enough to tick Show off and he gets 1809 pounds per square inch to destroy Sheamus’ score.

Sheamus says that’s impressive but the machine is standing still. Tensai jumps Sheamus but Booker sends him to the back.

Sheamus vs. Tensai

This is after a break. Tensai does a full entrance while Sheamus is still in the ring. They start brawling in the aisle with Sheamus pounding away on the bald one. Sheamus blocks a shot into the post and sends Tensai into it instead. They get inside for the bell and Sheamus charges into the corner and starts pounding away. Tensai gets in an elbow to the face but Sheamus takes out the knee for two.

A clothesline puts the champion down and we’re told that Tensai means destruction. Why did it take that long to tell us? It could be because no one cares. Sheamus hits his ax handles and a powerslam for two. Tensai clotheslines him down again but the backsplash misses. White Noise sets up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 3:36.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash which is about all Tensai is good for anymore. I’d be stunned if he still had a job around Wrestlemania time. Sheamus and Big Show should have an entertaining brawl and they’ve done a good job of not letting either of the finishers hit, which is the main point of the feud. That’s a good idea for the feud and it’s got me interested in seeing the match.

We get a video from two weeks ago after Smackdown with Orton getting beaten down by Del Rio.

Ricardo and Del Rio are in the back and Ricardo is nervous about Orton finding them. Alberto says it’s cool and sends Ricardo to find Orton.

Ricardo is looking for Orton in the back and he hears something hissing. He finds the Cobra with a Santino attached. Santino warns Ricardo of the Viper being somewhere around here and Ricardo storms off.

Heath Slater/Jinder Mahal vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder

Slater, Mahal and McIntyre declare themselves The Band and proceed to play air guitar together. This is as dumb as it sounds. Also they come out to “I’m a one man band” for their theme music. JBL freaks out over the idea of Rock Paper Scissors picking if Ryder or Santino start. It’s Ryder vs. Mahal to start with the guy from Long Island taking over. Off to Santino who comes in off the bottom rope to go after Mahal’s arm. The saluting headbutt misses and it’s off to Slater.

Heath and Jinder pound away on Marella in the corner but Santino rolls away and dives for a tag….but he comes up short. That’s a nice twist. The second attempt works though and Ryder hits the knees in the corner and a middle rope dropkick. Broski Boot gets one and everything breaks down. Ryder has to take out McIntyre and the distraction lets Slater hit a falling forward cutter (can we outlaw new variations of that move already? There must be six people between WWE and NXT using some form of a cutter or some form of a neckbreaker) for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Well assuming they’re going for a low level comedy act for The Band, they’re hitting it perfectly. Slater is much better suited for the comedy putz role than as the leader of a faction, and the air guitar thing is dumb, but I think that’s the point. They’re fine for stuff like this and for getting destroyed by a guy like Ryback or Brodus too.

We get a clip from Raw of HELL NO surviving somehow against Del Rio and Ziggler. Ziggler has touted a challenge to a match with Kane tonight.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler goes right at him but Kane throws him down into the corner. Dolph keeps charging at Kane in the corner but he gets shoved back every time. Kane sends him over the ropes but Ziggler skins the cat. That goes badly for him as Kane kicks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kane getting guillotined on the top but Ziggler jumps into a choke. The chokeslam is countered into a Fameasser for two and Dolph takes over.

A swinging neckbreaker gets one on Kane and Ziggler stomps away for a bit. A series of elbows gets two and Josh talks about Ziggler being champion for five days. Wasn’t it more like an hour? Kane comes back with a clothesline for two and a low dropkick for the same. Kane hits a side slam and goes up for the clothesline, only to get crotched by Dolph. Ziggler gets knocked off the top but grabs the briefcase to knock Kane out of the air, drawing the DQ at 6:03 shown of 9:33.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but Ziggler was wrestling like a face for the first half of the match and it was working. He’s a guy that could be something similar to Shelton Benjamin from back in 2005 who was more athletic and talented than almost anyone else on the roster, but with some charisma unlike the vacuum that Benjamin was.

Bryan comes in for the save and Striker comes in to talk to the arguing champions. It’s a NO Lock and a chokeslam for the annoying interviewer.

Ricardo is still looking for Orton. He walks past a door and hears an electronic version of Orton’s voice. It’s Hornswoggle playing with a Brawling Buddy. Ricardo steals it and beats it up.

We get a clip from the Larry King segment on Raw.

Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show

Miz is on commentary. Kofi charges into the corner which goes about as well as a small guy charging at Show in the corner can be expected to. Miz runs down his long resume and Show chops Kofi down. JBL talks about hazing Miz when Miz started in hopes of making Miz get better. JBL: “Josh when I haze you it’s because I hope you quit.” Kofi gets in a kick in the corner and actually drops Show. Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise is easily blocked. WMD gets the pin at 2:12.

Miz comes in to talk some trash to Kofi post match. No attack though.

Ricardo is with Del Rio again when Bryan comes in again. Trash is talked and they have a match later.

Layla and Kaitlyn are with Booker and they’ve found a blonde wig in Eve’s bag. Apparently Aksana found the wig. Eve comes in and says she found a blonde wig in Teddy’s bag. Booker, Layla and Kaitlyn leave and Eve and Teddy don’t like each other. This is so stupid.

Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

Cara fires away with kicks to start and there’s the spinning armdrag out of the corner. We head to the corner with Sandow coming out with a Russian legsweeo and wind up elbow. Cara armdrags and ranas Sandow to the apron and enziguris Sandow to the floor. A big dive from the top takes Cody down as he tries to help Damien. Back inside there’s another enziguri to Damien and Cody gets ejected for being attacked. Damien yells at the referee, allowing Cara to hit a West Coast Pop for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: C. Nothing great here but it sets up the tournament final on Raw a little bit better which was the point here. Sandow has a lot of potential but I’m not liking him in the tag team. It’s taking the focus off of him which is something he doesn’t need when he’s still pretty hot at the moment. The match was just ok.

Bryan tells Kane not to come help him no matter what.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

JBL goes on a rant about how stupid it is to try to manage anger in wrestling. Both guys go after the shoulder to start with Del Rio taking over by pounding Bryan down into the corner. Bryan changes his strategy and kicks out the knee for two. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner and hits a clothesline as the crowd is getting fired up. There are the YES kicks but Del Rio comes back with a kick of his own in the corner.

Bryan sends Del Rio to the floor but misses the running knee strike. Alberto sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Bryan charging into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Del Rio works on the arm but can’t hook the cross armbreaker. Bryan counters into the NO Lock but Ricardo has the referee. Alberto crawls from the middle of the ring all the way to the rope for the break. Alberto grabs the cross armbreaker while they’re still in the ropes and sends the arm of Bryan into the post. The armbreaker goes on in the middle of the ring and Bryan taps completely clean at 6:54 shown of 10:24.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and it’s nice to see the armbreaker actually get a win. That’s one of Del Rio’s (numerous) problems: his finisher rarely wins anything so it’s hard to take it seriously. I’m not sure what this does or why Ziggler and Del Rio are feuding with the tag champions in the first place other than to give the champions something to do, but I really don’t see the point in having Bryan lose to a member of a team that won’t even be number one contenders after Monday.

Alberto says that he doesn’t think Orton is here (even though multiple people told Ricardo they had seen him) and we see clips of the attack from a few weeks ago and of Show beating on Orton on Main Event. Del Rio says that Orton is just a garden snake and that Randy is smart to hide. Alberto mocks Orton’s pose and mocks the twist into the RKO position, only to find himself face to face on the mat with Orton. That was pretty cool. Orton destroys Alberto and sends him into the steps. Ricardo breaks up the Elevated DDT off the table as Del Rio runs. Orton RKOs Rodriguez onto the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a somewhat awkward show. There’s enough stuff on it to advance the feuds we’ve got going on, but the main angle didn’t quite work for me. The main idea of this show was that Orton is back. Ok, that’s fine but it would have been a lot better if Orton hadn’t been in a match two days before this (which he lost) on Main Event. That’s the big problem with having so many shows: it makes things you see elsewhere seem a lot less important. We’ve reached the point where a lot of HIAC is set so there wasn’t much new added tonight, and that’s ok. Decent show this week.

Results

Sheamus b. Tensai – Brogue Kick

The Band b. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder – Falling Cutter to Ryder

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Ziggler used the MITB Briefcase

Big Show b. Kofi Kingston – WMD

Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – West Coast Pop

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan – Cross Armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: October 5, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on the Cell and we have our main event now. Sheamus will defend against Big Show and they had a debate on Raw to set the match up. The debate wound up being almost as a big of a waste of time as the entire Del Rio feud, but at least the match should be more interesting. Other than that there isn’t much going on so we’re almost going into this blind. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Bud Selig. Why does he feel the need to keep changing everything that was was working fine?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show talks about Sheamus having a plan for their match, but a punch in the mouth can change any plans. We get a highlight reel of Show knocking people out. Here’s Sheamus who says he knows the fight at the PPV is going to be the fight of his life. He offers a handshake and says may the best man win, but Show walks away.

As Show is leaving, Sheamus talks about the plans that Show mentioned. He says Bryan had a plan at TLC and we see a clip of Big Show losing the title in 45 seconds. We also see Bryan’s plan from Wrestlemania and the 18 second title change. Show gets back in the ring and extends his hand again but this time Sheamus walks away. This was already more entertaining and interesting than the last two months of Sheamus vs. Del Rio and it was just ok.

Tag Team Tournament: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players

The winners get Mysterio and Sin Cara. Kofi and Young get things going and Kofi hits a dropkick for two. Off to Truth as the former champions take over. Truth hits his spinning legdrop for two but Young powers him into the corner and it’s off to O’Neal. Titus has a great look and the power but he’s not quite there yet in the ring. Off to Young for their suplex drop onto Truth for two.

Young hooks a bearhug of all things which gets him nowhere. Wouldn’t that be a better move for someone like O’Neal? Anyway Truth gets in a shot to take Young down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. Things immediately speed up and after running around a lot, Kofi hits the Boom Drop for no cover on Young. Titus distracts Kofi before Trouble in Paradise can hit. Two kicks miss but O’Neal trips Kingston up and Young’s gutbuster gets the pin on Kofi at 4:23.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get anywhere but at least the Players finally beat these guys after losing for months on end. Kofi and Truth have probably outlived their shelf life as a team but the Players facing the masked guys is a good idea for a feud. This wasn’t awful but the time killed it.

Here are the final four matchups:

Rhodes Scholars

Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Prime Time Players

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Primo vs. Ryback

Cole says Ryback said he’s looking for his next meal with Punk. Primo gets launched into the corner and a big boot puts him down. Ryback slams Primo into the mat a few times but Primo gets in some jobber offense. Primo is then launched across the ring, clotheslined down and sent to the floor. Ryback beats up both cousins on the floor, clotheslines Primo down in the ring and Shell Shocks (Josh actually called it that for the first time I can ever remember) him for the pin at 2:52.

Punk and Heyman are in the back and looking for Dolph Ziggler.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Layla’s music just does not fit at all. They do basic stuff to start and Alicia shakes her hips a lot. She works on Layla’s leg and puts some holds on it but Layla kicks Alicia from the corner, hits her bouncy cross body, and finishes Alicia with a high kick to the head at 3:26.

Rating: D. Not only was the match uninteresting, there was no selling at all from Layla. Alicia worked on Layla’s leg for almost two minutes before Layla hit three moves that all involved her leg. Then again, I don’t think anyone has ever accused Layla of being what you would call a ring general.

Layla says that it’s going to be all the sweeter to take the title from Eve because of how Eve got the title in the first place.

Ziggler and Vickie are in the back and run into Heyman and Punk. Punk yells at Dolph for walking out on the tag match on Monday, which Ziggler points out that Punk did a few weeks ago. All four of them get in an argument until Booker shows up and makes Punk vs. Ziggler in the main event.

Wade Barrett vs. ???

It’s a jobber whose name isn’t worth mentioning. In an inset interview, Barrett says that he likes toying with the people he fights. A pumphandle slam puts the jobber down and Barrett shoves him off the top to the floor. The Souvenir gets the pin at 1:47.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Cole hypes up this as being a rare champion vs. champion match. That’s true actually. There hasn’t been one in two whole days. Miz pounds Sheamus down into the corner to start but the champ (the world champ I mean) throws Miz into the corner and pounds away. The ten forearms in the ropes are blocked and Sheamus is sent to the floor. It’s nice to see people start countering that as it means Sheamus is going to have to start mixing it up a bit more.

Miz sends him into the post which gets two back inside. Sheamus fights up but walks into the Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) for two. Miz hooks a chinlock and the announcers talk about fantasy football. Sheamus starts his comeback with some high powered shots but walks into the short DDT for two. Miz’s corner clothesline is caught in an Irish Curse and there are the ten forearms. White Noise hits and the place gets very fired up when Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick….and here’s Big Show. Sheamus is ready to go but Show KO’s Miz to give Sheamus a DQ loss at 6:25.

Rating: C-. We’ve reached the point where watching two champions go at it means nothing anymore. We saw this two nights ago so why should it mean anything today? At least Sheamus vs. Show is something new which you can’t say has happened in months now. The match should be a physical one as well which is a perk. The match here wasn’t bad.

Here’s Otunga in wrestling gear. He wants to address something that happened after Smackdown went off the air last week and we get a clip of Del Rio attacking Orton after the end of last week’s show. Otunga thanks Del Rio for having the guts to stand up to Orton, and that brings out the Viper. Scratch that as it brings out Del Rio and Ricardo.

Alberto talks like Orton which is kind of funny actually. That lasts all of two seconds and he says Orton isn’t here because he’s afraid of dying like a snake. This brings out Booker who puts Otunga and Del Rio in a tag match against these guys.

Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga vs. HELL NO

Non-title again. After a break Bryan and Otunga start things off. Bryan gets thrown down and Otunga poses a bit. Daniel comes back and sends Otunga into the corner and poses as well. The NO Lock is avoided and Otunga drapes Bryan over the ropes to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Otunga and it’s off to Del Rio for a suplex for two. Ricardo chants SI and Bryan drop toeholds Del Rio into the middle buckle.

Off to Kane who gets in an argument with Bryan almost immediately. Del Rio gets in a shot on Kane to take over and it’s off to Del Rio who spinebusts the big man for two. That gets him nowhere though as Kane hits the chokeslam. Daniel tags himself in and hits a top rope headbutt for the pin on Otunga at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Was there a point here other than getting the champions on TV? I don’t know if it’s the crowd but the act seems to have died down a little bit. Granted they’re being treated like a much more normal tag team now which takes away the stuff that got them so popular in the first place so that’s probably it. I’m hoping they go back to what worked for them as it’ll still get laughs. The match was nothing special.

Eve and Teddy are arguing in the back with Teddy saying he never told Eve to suspend Beth. Eve accuses Teddy of losing his memory in his old age. Teddy says he can see straight through Eve and thinks she had something to do with Kaitlyn’s attack. Teddy says that he sees through Eve unlike Booker. Booker pops up and yells at him while sending Eve away. Booker tells Teddy to stop bickering or he might be fired.

Big Show vs. Tensai

Show doesn’t get an entrance but Tensai does. Tensai pounds away to start and beats Show into the corner with punches and headbutts. Show comes back with a chop but charges into a boot in the corner. Big Show shrugs that off and throws him to the floor where he runs Tensai over. Back in and Show misses an elbow and gets hit by the backsplash for two. Show spears Tensai down and loads up the punch but here’s Sheamus to Brogue Kick Tensai to give Show a DQ loss at 2:20.

Raw ReBound.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s the rare heel vs. heel main event and Punk comes out first. No Vickie entrance for Dolph either. The crowd is DEAD for Ziggler. They argue a lot over respect before the match starts and Punk grabs a headlock to start. Ziggler fights out and it’s a stalemate as we head to a break. Back with Punk in control on the mat. Ziggler comes back with a headlock as they’re still in first gear here.

Punk goes up but Ziggler is on the apron to meet him. They fight on the top before they both crash to the floor. These guys are mirroring each other so far. Back in and they slug it out a bit before both get two off rollups. Ziggler hits a jumping DDT for two and after ducking a high kick, Dolph hits a Fameasser for the same. This time the high kick hits for a near fall for the champion. Punk slams him down and loads up the Macho Elbow, only to get stopped by Ziggler. Dolph slams him down but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. GTS hits out of nowhere for the clean pin at 7:10 shown of 10:40.

Rating: B-. They were going for a big match feel here but it didn’t quite get there. The match was entertaining and Ziggler looked like he was hanging with Punk most of the way, but before the break and for part of it after the break they didn’t really hit a higher level. It’s good to see Punk get another clean win, but I could have done without seeing the MITB guy lose AGAIN.

Punk gets on the announce table and says he’s heard it from everyone that he has to enter the Cell to face Cena. It’s still not going to happen though.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked tonight’s show but there were some problems with it. A lot of the matches felt like they were there to fill in time and had no real purpose other than that. I’m digging the basic stuff they’re doing with Sheamus and Big Show as they’re showing that Sheamus can do whatever Show can do and that Sheamus is trying to get inside Show’s head. That basic story is more than we got in the Alberto feud. I know I mentioned it like three times now, but that feud was so boring and even something simple like this is a breath of fresh air. This was a nice upgrade for Smackdown but it’s no masterpiece.

Results

Prime Time Players b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Gutbuster to Kingston

Ryback b. Primo – Shell Shock

Layla b. Alicia Fox – High Kick

Wade Barrett b. ??? – Souvenir

The Miz b. Sheamus via DQ when Big Show interfered

HELL NO b. Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga

Tensai b. Big Show via DQ when Sheamus interfered

CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2012
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s tag team show, it’s time to put some focus on the world title match at the upcoming PPV. By that I mean actually setting up a match there. The main event for tonight is Orton vs. Big Show which would be fine to make a #1 contenders match. Show returned from a brief absence on Monday and beat up various big men so I guess he’s a heel again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Garrett Bischoff. Why is he back on my TV screen now?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show says he wants the world title because he lost the title in 45 seconds last time. Then the guy that beat him lost the title in 18 seconds. Show didn’t get to be in the main event of Wrestlemania and he didn’t get to be champion and that’s not cool with him. He says he’s the only person that can beat Sheamus, but here’s Orton with a rebuttal.

Orton says that to deserve a shot at Sheamus, you have to go through him. That’s perfect as tonight’s match is for the #1 contendership. Show says tonight it’s either going to be an RKO or a KO. Here’s Alberto and please don’t make this a triple threat. Please. Del Rio says the two of them need to go to the back of the line, and there’s an RKO for him to end this segment. THANK GOODNESS.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro pounds him down to start as Matthews talks about how Santino and the Cobra have made up. Some suplexes from the champ (Cesaro) and puts on a cravate before Santino makes his comeback. The gutwrench suplex is countered into a sunset flip but the European Uppercut puts Marella down. The second attempt at the suplex hits but Cesaro talks enough trash to let Santino hit a superkick of all things for two. Cesaro goes up but Santino makes the stop and backdrops Antonio off the top. Santino misses a top rope headbutt and the Neutralizer retains the title at 4:10.

Rating: C. This was by far the most competitive match these two have ever had but they’re almost a month after the point where people buy Sanitno has having a chance at beating Cesaro. This is what I don’t get about WWE’s obsession with endless rematches: there’s no one else they’re willing to try out with a title shot? No one at all? I have trouble believing that.

We get the My Name Is Gerald bit from Raw. Kane is so awesome at these things.

Natalya vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match, Eve Touts how serious she takes the attack on Kaitlyn. Feeling out process to start with both girls trying to get control. I believe this is their first ever match. Beth controls on the mat with a headlock but Natalya escapes a slam to tick Phoenix off. Natalya slaps her in the face and the fight is on.

Beth, the hometown girl, hits a Russian legsweep to take over and is put in the Sharpshooter two seconds later. She does the fastest crawl I’ve ever seen to make the rope and Natalya freaks out. Nattie charges at Beth and tries a rolling cradle, only to get caught in the Glam Slam….for two. Natalya grabs a fast rollup but Beth rolls forward into one of her own for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C+. Best Divas match I can remember in a long time here. The hometown thing worked here with the fans being really into Beth. It’s remarkable what you get when you have girls that can wrestle a match and look like they know what they’re doing rather than looking like they’re struggling to remember how to run ropes.

Post match here’s Eve to say that Beth is suspended until the investigation into who attacked Kaitlyn is concluded. Natalya yells at Beth and says not to blame her.

Booker and Teddy talk about a tag team tournament to find #1 contenders for the titles at HIAC. Beth comes in to complain and apparently Booker isn’t even watching the show. Eve pops in and says she has the authority to do that. Booker says Eve doesn’t have that authority and reverses the decision. Eve sucks up as usual and Beth leaves. Booker isn’t happy so Eve blames Teddy. Booker isn’t sure who to trust.

Breast cancer stuff.

Raw ReBound.

Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett

No entrance for Ryder and I think you know where this is going. Barrett immediately shoulders him down then kicks Ryder in the ribs. Pumphandle slam gets two as does a slingshot belly to back backbreaker. Off to a surfboard hold but Ryder fights up and hits a facejam and middle rope missile dropkick. Barrett avoids the Broski Boot and hits a clothesline to send Ryder to the floor. Back inside and the Souvenir ends Ryder at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This was your standard Barrett squash since he came back. The problem with that is these matches aren’t really doing anything for him. He talked about being open for business a few weeks ago and then never mentioned it again. Barrett as a mercenary would work fine given how he always talked about how he was here for the money and not titles. Just squashing jobbers with an elbow to the head isn’t getting him anywhere.

Diner skit #2.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. The guest tonight is Sheamus who interrupts Miz’s intro. Sheamus looks about 300% tougher in jeans when you can’t see those white legs of his. He takes the mic from Miz and thinks Miz is suffering from memory loss after the beatdown from Ryback. Sheamus keeps asking Miz questions but won’t let him answer. He runs down Miz and in a way the IC Title by saying the best Miz can do is host a C list talk show. Miz talks about how he’s in a movie and a book now and you’ll have to pay to see it. You can pay to hear him on Sirius Radio and you can pay to see him compete in the ring.

Miz talks about how Sheamus is going to get taken out by an RKO or a WMD at HIAC. I feel like I’m on Sesame Street. Sheamus says no one takes this championship more seriously than he does and while he likes to have fun and joke around, the title means more to him than anything. Since Sheamus is cutting a good promo, here’s Vickie to interrupt him.

She introduces Ziggler and says that he’s the real guy Sheamus needs to worry about at the PPV. Ziggler says the main event tonight as well as Sheamus’ title reign is irrelevant because Ziggler is the next champion. Sheamus says Ziggler may get lucky with a cash-in…and that’s all he says. Then he jumps Ziggler and Miz and launches them both to the floor.

This segment was going well until Ziggler came out and said the exact same thing he’s been saying for four months. It’s really hard to buy Ziggler as a real threat when Sheamus has beaten him so many times. Once he wins the title, it’s going to take awhile to take him serious as a champion, but that’s clearly his fault and not the company’s for having him lose over and over again right?

We get the brackets for the tag team tournament:

Usos

Rhodes Scholars

Marella/Ryder

Gabriel/Kidd

Kingston/R-Truth

Prime Time Players

Epico/Primo

Mysterio/Sin Cara

We get the full Lawler interview from Raw. That’s still awesome. One question though: is it still a Raw exclusive if it’s shown in full on Smackdown as well?

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sandow and Jimmy start us off. Sandow would be the Scholar and if I have to explain who Rhodes is, you’re beyond my help. Damien controls to start but walks into a Samoan Drop and both guys tag out. Jey hits the running Umaga attack in the corner for two on Cody as things break down a bit. A superkick puts Cody down but Jimmy’s splash hits knees. Cross Rhodes hits and we’re done at 1:54.

Diner sequence #3.

Video on some global summit that WWE was involved in.

Ryback vs. Tensai

Another good reaction for Ryback. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback sends him into the corner. Tensai gets in some headbutts and a splash in the corner but Ryback suplexes Tensai down. The clothesline is countered into a Baldo Bomb for a pair of two counts. Now the clothesline hits and Shell Shock keeps Ryback undefeated at 2:06. The finisher was impressive but I’m not sure this proves that Ryback is for real like Cole says. I mean, it’s just Tensai.

Del Rio attacks Orton in the back on the way to the ring. He slams a case into Orton’s knee as well.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

There’s no Orton due to the attack in the back so here’s Del Rio instead. Del Rio talks for a bit before Orton jumps him and limps to the ring to have the match anyway. After a break we’re ready to go and Orton is very tentative to mix it up for multiple reasons now. Show gets him into the corner but Orton comes out with right hands. Show gets a knee in though and Orton is down quickly.

A second attempt at the chops in the corner is blocked and Show takes him down with a single shot to the ribs. He stands on Randy’s ribs and puts on a stomach claw, which is one of those usually lazy moves that works a bit better for Show. The Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane) gets two but Orton barely has anything left. They head outside and Orton gets dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton trying to make a comeback and countering the chokeslam into a DDT for a very delayed two. Orton can’t follow up at all here because of the ribs. His knee seems to be fine after having a BIG FREAKING CASE slammed into it but you can win them all I guess. Show pounds on the ribs some more and beats on Randy in the corner. We head to the floor and Show gets rammed into the post to give Orton a breather.

As Show is getting back in, Orton tries for the Elevated DDT but he can’t find a way around the powers of fat. Instead he hits an RKO out of nowhere but it only gets two. Orton loads up the Punt as a last resort but charges into a chokeslam….for two. A second chokeslam kills Orton dead for the pin at 9:32 shown of 13:02.

Rating: C+. I liked this match for a few reasons. First and foremost, Big Show is not Alberto Del Rio and he’s getting the next title shot. Second, this match was more realistic than most you’ll see anymore. Orton hit one big move the entire match and other than that it was pretty much a squash. Having Orton be competitive in this match after being attacked would have been absurd, so having Show dominate here made perfect sense. Also, since it deserves a second mention, Del Rio isn’t getting another shot!

Show lays Orton out with the WMD post match and says he’ll see Sheamus at the PPV.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another pretty good episode. Not having Kane and Bryan on the show was likely a good idea after last week. You don’t want to run the risk of running the pairing into the ground and giving them a week off is probably the right idea. Ryback got another win over someone who at least looking intimidating and we have a bunch of tag matches coming up. This show built for the future and it did it in a good way. Good stuff tonight.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Beth Phoenix b. Natalya – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Souvenir

Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow b. Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Rybac b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Big Show b. Randy Orton – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 17, 2006
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re thankfully back to a normal wrestling show this week without the stupid 13 year old fan service. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam in a match that could set up a future title shot down the line. Looking at the card, we have five matches packed into an hour long show. That’s not bad at all and hopefully will make up for last week. Let’s get to it.

Matt Striker vs. Sandman

Singapore cane on a pole match. Sandman is already busted open from his entrance. They stare at each other to start before Striker sprints to the corner, because Sandman could never possibly catch him. In a bit smarter move, Striker goes after Sandy’s leg to keep him from being able to climb. Striker misses a middle rope elbow to the knee but Sandman can’t get to the cane. Matt backdrops Sandman off the top and actually gets the cane first. A few shots to Sandman don’t do much as Striker swings and misses, allowing Sandman to get the cane. After a few shots, Striker bails and loses by countout.

Rating: D+. The blood (from both guys) was helpful but this wasn’t even four minutes long. What are you expecting out of a gimmick match that doesn’t even go that long? This was a feud that worked as you kept waiting to see Sandman get to maul the weasel, but it would have been better if Striker was built up some more.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

This is a rematch from last week. Rene slaps him to start, ticking off Punk enough that he charges into a quick hot shot. Rene gets in some more offense but Punk leg lariats him, hits his quick strikes, the Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap. This was nothing.

Mike Knox hits the ring post match but Punk is ready for him. Knox bails immediately when Punk calls him into the ring.

Rob talks about working his way back to the top and earning a shot at Big Show tonight. Van Dam says he’s the best at ECW (his words) and he can slay the dragon. He’ll get a shot eventually and he’ll be ready.

Here’s Test with something to say. Joey continues in vain to try to convince us that Test is a completely different guy now that he’s in ECW, as in he’s more intense or something. That’s the problem with most of the guys that came over to ECW: they’re the same guys we’ve seen for so many years and there really isn’t anything different. Test shows us a clip of Holly’s back getting sliced open a few weeks back and another of Test saving Heyman from Holly. Test makes fun of Holly for being out, which brings out Balls Mahoney to challenge him.

Test vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls jumps him to start and gets beaten down for his efforts. Mahoney’s shoulder is sent into the post and it’s off to an armbar because Test is such a known technical wrestler. Balls fights up and hits his signature punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two. Not that it matters though as the big boot takes Balls’ head off and the TKO gets the quick pin. This was just a step above a squash.

Sabu vs. Shannon Moore

For the first time during the intros, December to Dismsmber is mentioned. Oh sweet goodness we’re reaching that time already? Sabu takes him down very quickly and hits a leg lariat, sending Moore to the outside. A big flip dive takes Shannon out again and they head back inside. After some required generic offense from Moore, he misses a Whisper in the Wind style move and a slingshot legdrop gets the pin for Sabu. Another squash here.

Big Show talks about the Champion of Champions match at Cyber Sunday and doesn’t seem concerned about the match tonight.

Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title here. They stare each other down for a bit and RVD points at himself. Rob pounds away to start and goes for the legs but gets kicked in the face for his troubles. Show gets guillotined on the top rope and a top rope gets gets two for RVD. Show knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control and dropping some elbows. There’s a chop in the corner and Rob tries some shots to come back, only to get run over again. Rob comes back with more right hands and another top rope kick, followed by Rolling Thunder for two.

Show comes back with a spear but it only gets two. The fans are getting way into this which is kind of surprising given how the match has been going so far. A Vader Bomb Elbow misses but a clothesline puts RVD right back into the corner. The referee gets bumped and Van Dam counters the chokeslam into a DDT. He loads up the Five Star but Test shoves him off the top and stomps away. Test grabs a chair and pokes Van Dam in the ribs with it but Hardcore Holly runs out and hits Test with the chair. Holly cracks Show with the chair twice and the Five Star gives Rob the upset win.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t liking this one at first but once they got rolling with Van Dam staying in there no matter what and trying to find a way to slay the giant I got into it. Someone had to give Show a challenge eventually and there’s no one more popular or credible than Van Dam in ECW. Better match than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference it is when you get some wrestling instead of some stupid gimmick for the show which was mentioned all of once this entire show. RVD is the best choice for a challenger to Big Show as I don’t think he ever got a full rematch unless it was right after he lost the title. Much better show this week as we’re starting to get to December to Dismember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 10, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and ECW had no involvement with it at all. We’re heading up to Cyber Sunday now where the ECW Champion would have a match but he wouldn’t defend his title. Tonight the main event is a six man tag with the major names on the show fighting the other major names. Things won’t really change around here for about two more months so we’re going to be in the same place for awhile. Oh and there’s Extreme Strip Poker tonight. Let’s get to it.

Balls Mahoney is the dealer for the poker game. We have Trinity, Kelly, Maria, Candice, Ashley and Krystal. Oh and it’s lowest card loses, not even poker. Ashley loses the first one and takes her shirt off. This is going to be a LONG show.

Theme song.

The announced main event is a six man tag, meaning I was looking at the wrong card earlier.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Punk dropkicks Dupree in the thigh to start and we cut to Kelly taking her shoes off. Dupress gets kicked in the face and pounded into the corner followed by a nearly botched backdrop. Punk heads to the apron and gets elbowed in the face as we head to the chinlock from Rene. Trinity loses her top. The guys in the ring slug it out and Punk blocks an O’Connor roll. Punk takes over and hits the knee/bulldog combo for two. There’s a powerslam for Punk and he floats over into the Anaconda Vice for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was a squash and one with a bunch of annoying distractions. They’re a waste of time as while the girls do look good, you’re never going to see anything, so it’s a constant set of teases without any actual payoff. Also at least do the segments between the matches instead of cutting back to showing a girl taking off her freaking shoes. Hopefully Dupree leaves soon as the guy is just a waste of space.

Candice and Maria tie so they both take something off. Maria takes off her garters and Candice takes off her skirt.

After a break, it’s Dealer’s Choice, meaning Balls gets to pick the article the loser has to take off. Krystal has to take her skirt off. Ok the thong is a nice touch.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds him into the corner to start but a charge sends his shoulder into the post. Ashley takes her shoes off and Thorn cranks on Dreamer’s arm. Candice loses her corset and dances a bit. Thorn misses a headbutt and Dreamer fires off right hands. A suplex puts Thorn down as does a Sky High powerbomb. Dreamer has to go after Ariel on the floor and Thorn gets in a shot to the back. Tommy tries an elbow drop but crashes, letting Thorn hit a sitout Rock Bottom for two. Dreamer hits a reverse guillotine across the top rope and the DDT pins Thorn for the first time in ECW.

Rating: D+. Why would you have Dreamer win here? Thorn was one of the hot young heels they had on this show and they have him lose to the ultimate ECW jobber? Other than that there wasn’t anything here as it didn’t even last four minutes, so it’s not like they could get anywhere with it. Also, it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn. What are you expecting from it?

Krystal loses her shoes and Balls has an erection.

We recap Hardcore Holly getting his back sliced open and then getting taken out by Test before Holly could kill Heyman.

The girls talk about how hot Cena is. This transitions into a promo for the Marine. Maria loves ponies. END THIS FREAKING NONSENSE ALREADY!!! Now they like Batista and Punk. They deal another round and Kelly dances before taking her skirt off. She takes her top off because she wants to. The bra comes off and we take a break with her back to the camera.

SEE THE MARINE!

Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Sandman vs. Test/Matt Striker/Big Show

During the entrances, Ashley loses her skirt and Krystal loses her top. Van Dam and Test get us going with Test pounding Van Dam down into the corner. Rob comes out of the corner with a spinning crossbody for two and it’s a standoff. The step over kick takes Test down and there’s Rolling Thunder at the same time Sabu hits a slingshot legdrop. Sabu adds a springboard leg lariat and it’s off to Sandy.

Striker does the coward heel thing of getting in his shots while Sandman is in trouble. Maria takes her skirt off. Sandman wants Big Show with the big man chopping away as Trinity takes her skirt off. Sabu comes in to fire away on Show but Test pops him in the back to take over. This match is going nowhere. Sabu pounds on Test and we take a break.

Back with Test hitting some backbreakers on Sabu for two. Striker comes in and pokes Sabu in the eyes before hitting a neckbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock to make sure this match doesn’t get interesting at all. Back to Big Show with a chokebomb as Sabu is reeling. Show does the RVD finger point and runs over Sabu again. Maria loses her corset. This would be more appealing if she hadn’t been in Playboy.

Sabu counters a chokeslam into a DDT for two and it’s off to Test. Off to a bearhug followed by Striker coming in and getting punched in the face. There’s a hot tag to Van Dam and the fans really aren’t that interested at this point. Van Dam’s top rope kick takes Striker down and a superkick does the same to Test. Air Sabu hits test in the corner and everything breaks down. The Five Star hits Striker but Sandman gets to come in and beat up Striker for the pin.

Rating: D. This match was terribly boring. It was almost like the match was here to fill in time before we got to the rest of the card stuff. The feuds being combined was a fine idea, but other than that there’s nothing to see here. Sandman pinning Striker doesn’t mean anything and Van Dam and Big Show had all of four seconds of action. Nothing to see here.

Candice claims the game is rigged and gets in an argument with Maria. Tops come off, everything is blurred, you can see the straps of the skin colored underwear, a big catfight ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. I hated this show. I get it: this was to tease 13 year olds, but that doesn’t make it any less dull. This was from 2006, a year where the internet and access to naked women was certainly in full swing. Yeah the girls look good here, but when they keep cutting into the matches for the “poker”, it gets really old really fast. Nothing to see here and I can’t stand shows like this one.

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