Smackdown
Date: October 5, 2012
Location: BOK Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on the Cell and we have our main event now. Sheamus will defend against Big Show and they had a debate on Raw to set the match up. The debate wound up being almost as a big of a waste of time as the entire Del Rio feud, but at least the match should be more interesting. Other than that there isn’t much going on so we’re almost going into this blind. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Bud Selig. Why does he feel the need to keep changing everything that was was working fine?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show talks about Sheamus having a plan for their match, but a punch in the mouth can change any plans. We get a highlight reel of Show knocking people out. Here’s Sheamus who says he knows the fight at the PPV is going to be the fight of his life. He offers a handshake and says may the best man win, but Show walks away.

As Show is leaving, Sheamus talks about the plans that Show mentioned. He says Bryan had a plan at TLC and we see a clip of Big Show losing the title in 45 seconds. We also see Bryan’s plan from Wrestlemania and the 18 second title change. Show gets back in the ring and extends his hand again but this time Sheamus walks away. This was already more entertaining and interesting than the last two months of Sheamus vs. Del Rio and it was just ok.

Tag Team Tournament: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players

The winners get Mysterio and Sin Cara. Kofi and Young get things going and Kofi hits a dropkick for two. Off to Truth as the former champions take over. Truth hits his spinning legdrop for two but Young powers him into the corner and it’s off to O’Neal. Titus has a great look and the power but he’s not quite there yet in the ring. Off to Young for their suplex drop onto Truth for two.

Young hooks a bearhug of all things which gets him nowhere. Wouldn’t that be a better move for someone like O’Neal? Anyway Truth gets in a shot to take Young down and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. Things immediately speed up and after running around a lot, Kofi hits the Boom Drop for no cover on Young. Titus distracts Kofi before Trouble in Paradise can hit. Two kicks miss but O’Neal trips Kingston up and Young’s gutbuster gets the pin on Kofi at 4:23.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to get anywhere but at least the Players finally beat these guys after losing for months on end. Kofi and Truth have probably outlived their shelf life as a team but the Players facing the masked guys is a good idea for a feud. This wasn’t awful but the time killed it.

Here are the final four matchups:

Rhodes Scholars

Zack Ryder/Santino Marella

Prime Time Players

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Primo vs. Ryback

Cole says Ryback said he’s looking for his next meal with Punk. Primo gets launched into the corner and a big boot puts him down. Ryback slams Primo into the mat a few times but Primo gets in some jobber offense. Primo is then launched across the ring, clotheslined down and sent to the floor. Ryback beats up both cousins on the floor, clotheslines Primo down in the ring and Shell Shocks (Josh actually called it that for the first time I can ever remember) him for the pin at 2:52.

Punk and Heyman are in the back and looking for Dolph Ziggler.

Layla vs. Alicia Fox

Layla’s music just does not fit at all. They do basic stuff to start and Alicia shakes her hips a lot. She works on Layla’s leg and puts some holds on it but Layla kicks Alicia from the corner, hits her bouncy cross body, and finishes Alicia with a high kick to the head at 3:26.

Rating: D. Not only was the match uninteresting, there was no selling at all from Layla. Alicia worked on Layla’s leg for almost two minutes before Layla hit three moves that all involved her leg. Then again, I don’t think anyone has ever accused Layla of being what you would call a ring general.

Layla says that it’s going to be all the sweeter to take the title from Eve because of how Eve got the title in the first place.

Ziggler and Vickie are in the back and run into Heyman and Punk. Punk yells at Dolph for walking out on the tag match on Monday, which Ziggler points out that Punk did a few weeks ago. All four of them get in an argument until Booker shows up and makes Punk vs. Ziggler in the main event.

Wade Barrett vs. ???

It’s a jobber whose name isn’t worth mentioning. In an inset interview, Barrett says that he likes toying with the people he fights. A pumphandle slam puts the jobber down and Barrett shoves him off the top to the floor. The Souvenir gets the pin at 1:47.

Sheamus vs. The Miz

Cole hypes up this as being a rare champion vs. champion match. That’s true actually. There hasn’t been one in two whole days. Miz pounds Sheamus down into the corner to start but the champ (the world champ I mean) throws Miz into the corner and pounds away. The ten forearms in the ropes are blocked and Sheamus is sent to the floor. It’s nice to see people start countering that as it means Sheamus is going to have to start mixing it up a bit more.

Miz sends him into the post which gets two back inside. Sheamus fights up but walks into the Reality Check (backbreaker into a neckbreaker) for two. Miz hooks a chinlock and the announcers talk about fantasy football. Sheamus starts his comeback with some high powered shots but walks into the short DDT for two. Miz’s corner clothesline is caught in an Irish Curse and there are the ten forearms. White Noise hits and the place gets very fired up when Sheamus loads up the Brogue Kick….and here’s Big Show. Sheamus is ready to go but Show KO’s Miz to give Sheamus a DQ loss at 6:25.

Rating: C-. We’ve reached the point where watching two champions go at it means nothing anymore. We saw this two nights ago so why should it mean anything today? At least Sheamus vs. Show is something new which you can’t say has happened in months now. The match should be a physical one as well which is a perk. The match here wasn’t bad.

Here’s Otunga in wrestling gear. He wants to address something that happened after Smackdown went off the air last week and we get a clip of Del Rio attacking Orton after the end of last week’s show. Otunga thanks Del Rio for having the guts to stand up to Orton, and that brings out the Viper. Scratch that as it brings out Del Rio and Ricardo.

Alberto talks like Orton which is kind of funny actually. That lasts all of two seconds and he says Orton isn’t here because he’s afraid of dying like a snake. This brings out Booker who puts Otunga and Del Rio in a tag match against these guys.

Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga vs. HELL NO

Non-title again. After a break Bryan and Otunga start things off. Bryan gets thrown down and Otunga poses a bit. Daniel comes back and sends Otunga into the corner and poses as well. The NO Lock is avoided and Otunga drapes Bryan over the ropes to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Otunga and it’s off to Del Rio for a suplex for two. Ricardo chants SI and Bryan drop toeholds Del Rio into the middle buckle.

Off to Kane who gets in an argument with Bryan almost immediately. Del Rio gets in a shot on Kane to take over and it’s off to Del Rio who spinebusts the big man for two. That gets him nowhere though as Kane hits the chokeslam. Daniel tags himself in and hits a top rope headbutt for the pin on Otunga at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Was there a point here other than getting the champions on TV? I don’t know if it’s the crowd but the act seems to have died down a little bit. Granted they’re being treated like a much more normal tag team now which takes away the stuff that got them so popular in the first place so that’s probably it. I’m hoping they go back to what worked for them as it’ll still get laughs. The match was nothing special.

Eve and Teddy are arguing in the back with Teddy saying he never told Eve to suspend Beth. Eve accuses Teddy of losing his memory in his old age. Teddy says he can see straight through Eve and thinks she had something to do with Kaitlyn’s attack. Teddy says that he sees through Eve unlike Booker. Booker pops up and yells at him while sending Eve away. Booker tells Teddy to stop bickering or he might be fired.

Big Show vs. Tensai

Show doesn’t get an entrance but Tensai does. Tensai pounds away to start and beats Show into the corner with punches and headbutts. Show comes back with a chop but charges into a boot in the corner. Big Show shrugs that off and throws him to the floor where he runs Tensai over. Back in and Show misses an elbow and gets hit by the backsplash for two. Show spears Tensai down and loads up the punch but here’s Sheamus to Brogue Kick Tensai to give Show a DQ loss at 2:20.

Raw ReBound.

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s the rare heel vs. heel main event and Punk comes out first. No Vickie entrance for Dolph either. The crowd is DEAD for Ziggler. They argue a lot over respect before the match starts and Punk grabs a headlock to start. Ziggler fights out and it’s a stalemate as we head to a break. Back with Punk in control on the mat. Ziggler comes back with a headlock as they’re still in first gear here.

Punk goes up but Ziggler is on the apron to meet him. They fight on the top before they both crash to the floor. These guys are mirroring each other so far. Back in and they slug it out a bit before both get two off rollups. Ziggler hits a jumping DDT for two and after ducking a high kick, Dolph hits a Fameasser for the same. This time the high kick hits for a near fall for the champion. Punk slams him down and loads up the Macho Elbow, only to get stopped by Ziggler. Dolph slams him down but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner. GTS hits out of nowhere for the clean pin at 7:10 shown of 10:40.

Rating: B-. They were going for a big match feel here but it didn’t quite get there. The match was entertaining and Ziggler looked like he was hanging with Punk most of the way, but before the break and for part of it after the break they didn’t really hit a higher level. It’s good to see Punk get another clean win, but I could have done without seeing the MITB guy lose AGAIN.

Punk gets on the announce table and says he’s heard it from everyone that he has to enter the Cell to face Cena. It’s still not going to happen though.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked tonight’s show but there were some problems with it. A lot of the matches felt like they were there to fill in time and had no real purpose other than that. I’m digging the basic stuff they’re doing with Sheamus and Big Show as they’re showing that Sheamus can do whatever Show can do and that Sheamus is trying to get inside Show’s head. That basic story is more than we got in the Alberto feud. I know I mentioned it like three times now, but that feud was so boring and even something simple like this is a breath of fresh air. This was a nice upgrade for Smackdown but it’s no masterpiece.

Results

Prime Time Players b. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth – Gutbuster to Kingston

Ryback b. Primo – Shell Shock

Layla b. Alicia Fox – High Kick

Wade Barrett b. ??? – Souvenir

The Miz b. Sheamus via DQ when Big Show interfered

HELL NO b. Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga

Tensai b. Big Show via DQ when Sheamus interfered

CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2012
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

After last week’s tag team show, it’s time to put some focus on the world title match at the upcoming PPV. By that I mean actually setting up a match there. The main event for tonight is Orton vs. Big Show which would be fine to make a #1 contenders match. Show returned from a brief absence on Monday and beat up various big men so I guess he’s a heel again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is Garrett Bischoff. Why is he back on my TV screen now?

Here’s Big Show to open the show. Show says he wants the world title because he lost the title in 45 seconds last time. Then the guy that beat him lost the title in 18 seconds. Show didn’t get to be in the main event of Wrestlemania and he didn’t get to be champion and that’s not cool with him. He says he’s the only person that can beat Sheamus, but here’s Orton with a rebuttal.

Orton says that to deserve a shot at Sheamus, you have to go through him. That’s perfect as tonight’s match is for the #1 contendership. Show says tonight it’s either going to be an RKO or a KO. Here’s Alberto and please don’t make this a triple threat. Please. Del Rio says the two of them need to go to the back of the line, and there’s an RKO for him to end this segment. THANK GOODNESS.

US Title: Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro pounds him down to start as Matthews talks about how Santino and the Cobra have made up. Some suplexes from the champ (Cesaro) and puts on a cravate before Santino makes his comeback. The gutwrench suplex is countered into a sunset flip but the European Uppercut puts Marella down. The second attempt at the suplex hits but Cesaro talks enough trash to let Santino hit a superkick of all things for two. Cesaro goes up but Santino makes the stop and backdrops Antonio off the top. Santino misses a top rope headbutt and the Neutralizer retains the title at 4:10.

Rating: C. This was by far the most competitive match these two have ever had but they’re almost a month after the point where people buy Sanitno has having a chance at beating Cesaro. This is what I don’t get about WWE’s obsession with endless rematches: there’s no one else they’re willing to try out with a title shot? No one at all? I have trouble believing that.

We get the My Name Is Gerald bit from Raw. Kane is so awesome at these things.

Natalya vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match, Eve Touts how serious she takes the attack on Kaitlyn. Feeling out process to start with both girls trying to get control. I believe this is their first ever match. Beth controls on the mat with a headlock but Natalya escapes a slam to tick Phoenix off. Natalya slaps her in the face and the fight is on.

Beth, the hometown girl, hits a Russian legsweep to take over and is put in the Sharpshooter two seconds later. She does the fastest crawl I’ve ever seen to make the rope and Natalya freaks out. Nattie charges at Beth and tries a rolling cradle, only to get caught in the Glam Slam….for two. Natalya grabs a fast rollup but Beth rolls forward into one of her own for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C+. Best Divas match I can remember in a long time here. The hometown thing worked here with the fans being really into Beth. It’s remarkable what you get when you have girls that can wrestle a match and look like they know what they’re doing rather than looking like they’re struggling to remember how to run ropes.

Post match here’s Eve to say that Beth is suspended until the investigation into who attacked Kaitlyn is concluded. Natalya yells at Beth and says not to blame her.

Booker and Teddy talk about a tag team tournament to find #1 contenders for the titles at HIAC. Beth comes in to complain and apparently Booker isn’t even watching the show. Eve pops in and says she has the authority to do that. Booker says Eve doesn’t have that authority and reverses the decision. Eve sucks up as usual and Beth leaves. Booker isn’t happy so Eve blames Teddy. Booker isn’t sure who to trust.

Breast cancer stuff.

Raw ReBound.

Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett

No entrance for Ryder and I think you know where this is going. Barrett immediately shoulders him down then kicks Ryder in the ribs. Pumphandle slam gets two as does a slingshot belly to back backbreaker. Off to a surfboard hold but Ryder fights up and hits a facejam and middle rope missile dropkick. Barrett avoids the Broski Boot and hits a clothesline to send Ryder to the floor. Back inside and the Souvenir ends Ryder at 3:15.

Rating: D+. This was your standard Barrett squash since he came back. The problem with that is these matches aren’t really doing anything for him. He talked about being open for business a few weeks ago and then never mentioned it again. Barrett as a mercenary would work fine given how he always talked about how he was here for the money and not titles. Just squashing jobbers with an elbow to the head isn’t getting him anywhere.

Diner skit #2.

Here’s Miz for MizTV. The guest tonight is Sheamus who interrupts Miz’s intro. Sheamus looks about 300% tougher in jeans when you can’t see those white legs of his. He takes the mic from Miz and thinks Miz is suffering from memory loss after the beatdown from Ryback. Sheamus keeps asking Miz questions but won’t let him answer. He runs down Miz and in a way the IC Title by saying the best Miz can do is host a C list talk show. Miz talks about how he’s in a movie and a book now and you’ll have to pay to see it. You can pay to hear him on Sirius Radio and you can pay to see him compete in the ring.

Miz talks about how Sheamus is going to get taken out by an RKO or a WMD at HIAC. I feel like I’m on Sesame Street. Sheamus says no one takes this championship more seriously than he does and while he likes to have fun and joke around, the title means more to him than anything. Since Sheamus is cutting a good promo, here’s Vickie to interrupt him.

She introduces Ziggler and says that he’s the real guy Sheamus needs to worry about at the PPV. Ziggler says the main event tonight as well as Sheamus’ title reign is irrelevant because Ziggler is the next champion. Sheamus says Ziggler may get lucky with a cash-in…and that’s all he says. Then he jumps Ziggler and Miz and launches them both to the floor.

This segment was going well until Ziggler came out and said the exact same thing he’s been saying for four months. It’s really hard to buy Ziggler as a real threat when Sheamus has beaten him so many times. Once he wins the title, it’s going to take awhile to take him serious as a champion, but that’s clearly his fault and not the company’s for having him lose over and over again right?

We get the brackets for the tag team tournament:

Usos

Rhodes Scholars

Marella/Ryder

Gabriel/Kidd

Kingston/R-Truth

Prime Time Players

Epico/Primo

Mysterio/Sin Cara

We get the full Lawler interview from Raw. That’s still awesome. One question though: is it still a Raw exclusive if it’s shown in full on Smackdown as well?

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Rhodes Scholars

Sandow and Jimmy start us off. Sandow would be the Scholar and if I have to explain who Rhodes is, you’re beyond my help. Damien controls to start but walks into a Samoan Drop and both guys tag out. Jey hits the running Umaga attack in the corner for two on Cody as things break down a bit. A superkick puts Cody down but Jimmy’s splash hits knees. Cross Rhodes hits and we’re done at 1:54.

Diner sequence #3.

Video on some global summit that WWE was involved in.

Ryback vs. Tensai

Another good reaction for Ryback. They fight over a lockup to start and Ryback sends him into the corner. Tensai gets in some headbutts and a splash in the corner but Ryback suplexes Tensai down. The clothesline is countered into a Baldo Bomb for a pair of two counts. Now the clothesline hits and Shell Shock keeps Ryback undefeated at 2:06. The finisher was impressive but I’m not sure this proves that Ryback is for real like Cole says. I mean, it’s just Tensai.

Del Rio attacks Orton in the back on the way to the ring. He slams a case into Orton’s knee as well.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

There’s no Orton due to the attack in the back so here’s Del Rio instead. Del Rio talks for a bit before Orton jumps him and limps to the ring to have the match anyway. After a break we’re ready to go and Orton is very tentative to mix it up for multiple reasons now. Show gets him into the corner but Orton comes out with right hands. Show gets a knee in though and Orton is down quickly.

A second attempt at the chops in the corner is blocked and Show takes him down with a single shot to the ribs. He stands on Randy’s ribs and puts on a stomach claw, which is one of those usually lazy moves that works a bit better for Show. The Final Cut (Eye of the Hurricane) gets two but Orton barely has anything left. They head outside and Orton gets dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton trying to make a comeback and countering the chokeslam into a DDT for a very delayed two. Orton can’t follow up at all here because of the ribs. His knee seems to be fine after having a BIG FREAKING CASE slammed into it but you can win them all I guess. Show pounds on the ribs some more and beats on Randy in the corner. We head to the floor and Show gets rammed into the post to give Orton a breather.

As Show is getting back in, Orton tries for the Elevated DDT but he can’t find a way around the powers of fat. Instead he hits an RKO out of nowhere but it only gets two. Orton loads up the Punt as a last resort but charges into a chokeslam….for two. A second chokeslam kills Orton dead for the pin at 9:32 shown of 13:02.

Rating: C+. I liked this match for a few reasons. First and foremost, Big Show is not Alberto Del Rio and he’s getting the next title shot. Second, this match was more realistic than most you’ll see anymore. Orton hit one big move the entire match and other than that it was pretty much a squash. Having Orton be competitive in this match after being attacked would have been absurd, so having Show dominate here made perfect sense. Also, since it deserves a second mention, Del Rio isn’t getting another shot!

Show lays Orton out with the WMD post match and says he’ll see Sheamus at the PPV.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another pretty good episode. Not having Kane and Bryan on the show was likely a good idea after last week. You don’t want to run the risk of running the pairing into the ground and giving them a week off is probably the right idea. Ryback got another win over someone who at least looking intimidating and we have a bunch of tag matches coming up. This show built for the future and it did it in a good way. Good stuff tonight.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Neutralizer

Beth Phoenix b. Natalya – Rollup

Wade Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Souvenir

Cody Rhodes/Damien Sandow b. Usos – Cross Rhodes to Jimmy Uso

Rybac b. Tensai – Shell Shock

Big Show b. Randy Orton – Chokeslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 17, 2006
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re thankfully back to a normal wrestling show this week without the stupid 13 year old fan service. The main event tonight is Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam in a match that could set up a future title shot down the line. Looking at the card, we have five matches packed into an hour long show. That’s not bad at all and hopefully will make up for last week. Let’s get to it.

Matt Striker vs. Sandman

Singapore cane on a pole match. Sandman is already busted open from his entrance. They stare at each other to start before Striker sprints to the corner, because Sandman could never possibly catch him. In a bit smarter move, Striker goes after Sandy’s leg to keep him from being able to climb. Striker misses a middle rope elbow to the knee but Sandman can’t get to the cane. Matt backdrops Sandman off the top and actually gets the cane first. A few shots to Sandman don’t do much as Striker swings and misses, allowing Sandman to get the cane. After a few shots, Striker bails and loses by countout.

Rating: D+. The blood (from both guys) was helpful but this wasn’t even four minutes long. What are you expecting out of a gimmick match that doesn’t even go that long? This was a feud that worked as you kept waiting to see Sandman get to maul the weasel, but it would have been better if Striker was built up some more.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

This is a rematch from last week. Rene slaps him to start, ticking off Punk enough that he charges into a quick hot shot. Rene gets in some more offense but Punk leg lariats him, hits his quick strikes, the Rock Bottom and the Anaconda Vice for the fast tap. This was nothing.

Mike Knox hits the ring post match but Punk is ready for him. Knox bails immediately when Punk calls him into the ring.

Rob talks about working his way back to the top and earning a shot at Big Show tonight. Van Dam says he’s the best at ECW (his words) and he can slay the dragon. He’ll get a shot eventually and he’ll be ready.

Here’s Test with something to say. Joey continues in vain to try to convince us that Test is a completely different guy now that he’s in ECW, as in he’s more intense or something. That’s the problem with most of the guys that came over to ECW: they’re the same guys we’ve seen for so many years and there really isn’t anything different. Test shows us a clip of Holly’s back getting sliced open a few weeks back and another of Test saving Heyman from Holly. Test makes fun of Holly for being out, which brings out Balls Mahoney to challenge him.

Test vs. Balls Mahoney

Balls jumps him to start and gets beaten down for his efforts. Mahoney’s shoulder is sent into the post and it’s off to an armbar because Test is such a known technical wrestler. Balls fights up and hits his signature punches and the Nutcracker Suite for two. Not that it matters though as the big boot takes Balls’ head off and the TKO gets the quick pin. This was just a step above a squash.

Sabu vs. Shannon Moore

For the first time during the intros, December to Dismsmber is mentioned. Oh sweet goodness we’re reaching that time already? Sabu takes him down very quickly and hits a leg lariat, sending Moore to the outside. A big flip dive takes Shannon out again and they head back inside. After some required generic offense from Moore, he misses a Whisper in the Wind style move and a slingshot legdrop gets the pin for Sabu. Another squash here.

Big Show talks about the Champion of Champions match at Cyber Sunday and doesn’t seem concerned about the match tonight.

Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Non-title here. They stare each other down for a bit and RVD points at himself. Rob pounds away to start and goes for the legs but gets kicked in the face for his troubles. Show gets guillotined on the top rope and a top rope gets gets two for RVD. Show knocks him to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control and dropping some elbows. There’s a chop in the corner and Rob tries some shots to come back, only to get run over again. Rob comes back with more right hands and another top rope kick, followed by Rolling Thunder for two.

Show comes back with a spear but it only gets two. The fans are getting way into this which is kind of surprising given how the match has been going so far. A Vader Bomb Elbow misses but a clothesline puts RVD right back into the corner. The referee gets bumped and Van Dam counters the chokeslam into a DDT. He loads up the Five Star but Test shoves him off the top and stomps away. Test grabs a chair and pokes Van Dam in the ribs with it but Hardcore Holly runs out and hits Test with the chair. Holly cracks Show with the chair twice and the Five Star gives Rob the upset win.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t liking this one at first but once they got rolling with Van Dam staying in there no matter what and trying to find a way to slay the giant I got into it. Someone had to give Show a challenge eventually and there’s no one more popular or credible than Van Dam in ECW. Better match than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C+. What a difference it is when you get some wrestling instead of some stupid gimmick for the show which was mentioned all of once this entire show. RVD is the best choice for a challenger to Big Show as I don’t think he ever got a full rematch unless it was right after he lost the title. Much better show this week as we’re starting to get to December to Dismember.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 10, 2006
Location: Kansas Coliseum, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past No Mercy and ECW had no involvement with it at all. We’re heading up to Cyber Sunday now where the ECW Champion would have a match but he wouldn’t defend his title. Tonight the main event is a six man tag with the major names on the show fighting the other major names. Things won’t really change around here for about two more months so we’re going to be in the same place for awhile. Oh and there’s Extreme Strip Poker tonight. Let’s get to it.

Balls Mahoney is the dealer for the poker game. We have Trinity, Kelly, Maria, Candice, Ashley and Krystal. Oh and it’s lowest card loses, not even poker. Ashley loses the first one and takes her shirt off. This is going to be a LONG show.

Theme song.

The announced main event is a six man tag, meaning I was looking at the wrong card earlier.

CM Punk vs. Rene Dupree

Punk dropkicks Dupree in the thigh to start and we cut to Kelly taking her shoes off. Dupress gets kicked in the face and pounded into the corner followed by a nearly botched backdrop. Punk heads to the apron and gets elbowed in the face as we head to the chinlock from Rene. Trinity loses her top. The guys in the ring slug it out and Punk blocks an O’Connor roll. Punk takes over and hits the knee/bulldog combo for two. There’s a powerslam for Punk and he floats over into the Anaconda Vice for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was a squash and one with a bunch of annoying distractions. They’re a waste of time as while the girls do look good, you’re never going to see anything, so it’s a constant set of teases without any actual payoff. Also at least do the segments between the matches instead of cutting back to showing a girl taking off her freaking shoes. Hopefully Dupree leaves soon as the guy is just a waste of space.

Candice and Maria tie so they both take something off. Maria takes off her garters and Candice takes off her skirt.

After a break, it’s Dealer’s Choice, meaning Balls gets to pick the article the loser has to take off. Krystal has to take her skirt off. Ok the thong is a nice touch.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds him into the corner to start but a charge sends his shoulder into the post. Ashley takes her shoes off and Thorn cranks on Dreamer’s arm. Candice loses her corset and dances a bit. Thorn misses a headbutt and Dreamer fires off right hands. A suplex puts Thorn down as does a Sky High powerbomb. Dreamer has to go after Ariel on the floor and Thorn gets in a shot to the back. Tommy tries an elbow drop but crashes, letting Thorn hit a sitout Rock Bottom for two. Dreamer hits a reverse guillotine across the top rope and the DDT pins Thorn for the first time in ECW.

Rating: D+. Why would you have Dreamer win here? Thorn was one of the hot young heels they had on this show and they have him lose to the ultimate ECW jobber? Other than that there wasn’t anything here as it didn’t even last four minutes, so it’s not like they could get anywhere with it. Also, it’s Tommy Dreamer vs. Kevin Thorn. What are you expecting from it?

Krystal loses her shoes and Balls has an erection.

We recap Hardcore Holly getting his back sliced open and then getting taken out by Test before Holly could kill Heyman.

The girls talk about how hot Cena is. This transitions into a promo for the Marine. Maria loves ponies. END THIS FREAKING NONSENSE ALREADY!!! Now they like Batista and Punk. They deal another round and Kelly dances before taking her skirt off. She takes her top off because she wants to. The bra comes off and we take a break with her back to the camera.

SEE THE MARINE!

Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Sandman vs. Test/Matt Striker/Big Show

During the entrances, Ashley loses her skirt and Krystal loses her top. Van Dam and Test get us going with Test pounding Van Dam down into the corner. Rob comes out of the corner with a spinning crossbody for two and it’s a standoff. The step over kick takes Test down and there’s Rolling Thunder at the same time Sabu hits a slingshot legdrop. Sabu adds a springboard leg lariat and it’s off to Sandy.

Striker does the coward heel thing of getting in his shots while Sandman is in trouble. Maria takes her skirt off. Sandman wants Big Show with the big man chopping away as Trinity takes her skirt off. Sabu comes in to fire away on Show but Test pops him in the back to take over. This match is going nowhere. Sabu pounds on Test and we take a break.

Back with Test hitting some backbreakers on Sabu for two. Striker comes in and pokes Sabu in the eyes before hitting a neckbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock to make sure this match doesn’t get interesting at all. Back to Big Show with a chokebomb as Sabu is reeling. Show does the RVD finger point and runs over Sabu again. Maria loses her corset. This would be more appealing if she hadn’t been in Playboy.

Sabu counters a chokeslam into a DDT for two and it’s off to Test. Off to a bearhug followed by Striker coming in and getting punched in the face. There’s a hot tag to Van Dam and the fans really aren’t that interested at this point. Van Dam’s top rope kick takes Striker down and a superkick does the same to Test. Air Sabu hits test in the corner and everything breaks down. The Five Star hits Striker but Sandman gets to come in and beat up Striker for the pin.

Rating: D. This match was terribly boring. It was almost like the match was here to fill in time before we got to the rest of the card stuff. The feuds being combined was a fine idea, but other than that there’s nothing to see here. Sandman pinning Striker doesn’t mean anything and Van Dam and Big Show had all of four seconds of action. Nothing to see here.

Candice claims the game is rigged and gets in an argument with Maria. Tops come off, everything is blurred, you can see the straps of the skin colored underwear, a big catfight ends the show.

Overall Rating: F+. I hated this show. I get it: this was to tease 13 year olds, but that doesn’t make it any less dull. This was from 2006, a year where the internet and access to naked women was certainly in full swing. Yeah the girls look good here, but when they keep cutting into the matches for the “poker”, it gets really old really fast. Nothing to see here and I can’t stand shows like this one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 3, 2006
Location: Landon Arena, Topeka, Kansas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re into a new month here as this show is starting to fly by. After last week we’re really right back where we were coming into last week with Show being completely dominant and no opponent for him at the moment. We also have Van Dam standing tall due to his victory over Holly. It’s hard to say what else we’re going to get from here on out. Let’s get to it.

We open with Holly and Heyman in the back, watching a clip from last week of Holly being sliced open like a cabbage. Heyman praises him for finishing the match after being out for a year due to a staph infection. Holly says that’s what he does and he wants Van Dam again tonight. Heyman almost panicking over the thought of a lawsuit is kind of funny stuff and he obviously says no. Holly grabs Heyman but Test pops in and hits Hardcore in the back with a chair. It’s Test vs. Van Dam tonight in an extreme rules match.

Opening sequence.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

So I guess Sabu and Big Show are still feuding somehow. Sabu and Show start with the giant being clean shaven now. That’s kind of a good look for him. Show clotheslines Sabu down and tosses him around with ease. Off to Striker and Sabu gets on offense quickly, hitting a springboard leg lariat and some dropkicks to take over. Sabu is knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show coming in to headbutt Sabu down followed by a suplex which gets two for the tagged in Striker.

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that this is just a tag match. Sabu can hang in a match for the most part but Sandman is dull when he can’t use his weapons. This was just your standard tag match which bordered on a squash. Show is being put over stronger than almost anyone I’ve ever seen which is good for him but bad for everyone else.

Kelly Kelly and Trinity plug Extreme Strip Poker. Kelly takes her top off and has cards covering her.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer pounds away to start but gets slammed out of the corner by Thorn. Thorn beats on Tommy but a pumphandle slam is countered into a neckbreaker as Dreamer starts his comeback. The DDT is countered but the second attempt at it gets two due to Thorn being in the ropes. A shot from the cane to Dreamer’s head ends this quick.

Watch the Marine!

Maria will play poker next week and people have been giving her “good” advice on how to play.

CM Punk vs. Danny Doring

Doring tries an early suplex but gets kicked in the ribs. A butterfly backbreaker puts Doring down and Punk fires away with knees in the corner. The knee/bulldog combo sets up a striking sequence followed by the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap. This was barely over a minute.

Kelly pops up on stage and dances for Punk. Knox takes her away and Punk says he’s sick of this. He says Knox’s problem isn’t keeping him away from Kelly, but from keeping Kelly away from him. Knox comes to the ring but backs off. The fans were into this.

Kristal Marshall and Ashley will be playing too.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

It’s table time and the fans erupt as a result. As always, that takes too much time and Test takes his head off with a clothesline in the ring. Test throws four chairs into the ring and a big boot into one of them into the head of Van Dam gets two. A suplex onto the chair is countered by Van Dam and he pelts the chair at Test’s head ala Sabu. Test goes to the apron but Van Dam can’t knock him through the table. Test tries to suplex him through the table in a repeat of the spot from last week with Holly, but Van Dam countered into a sunset powerbomb through the table in a great spot.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Off to a bearhug as Van Dam is in even more trouble. Van Dam escapes but a BIG chair shot to the head gets two. Test removes the buckle from a corner but RVD blocks the shot into it and this a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Rob goes to the floor for another chair because the four in the ring weren’t enough I guess. After threatening the guards with the chair, he skateboards it into Test’s face in the corner. He loads up Rolling Thunder onto the chair but Test moves, sending Rob’s back into chair only.

With the chair on Van Dam’s face, Test goes up and drops a Cactus Jack elbow (as in he had a chair of his own and slammed it into the other chair) off the top…..for two. Test loads up another table but his powerbomb through it is countered into a sunset flip for two. Snake Eyes onto the exposed buckle is countered and Van Dam hits the top rope kick. After dispatching the guards, Van Dam loads up the Five Star through the table but Big Show comes out and shoves him through the table. A TKO from Test finally gets the pin.

Rating: B. Van Dam is on a roll right now and I’m digging this war with Heyman and his team of lackeys as he’s building up to the big rematch with Show. Test looked good here and after the match last week with Holly, I think it’s fair to call Van Dam an official miracle worker. Another strong match here which would probably be the best match of the week in WWE.

Overall Rating: B. With Van Dam being on fire like he is now, ECW is on a total roll. There are finally clear stories going on up and down the card with Van Dam vs. Heyman being a highlight. The main issue I see with it though is next week. The show ended with Joey guaranteeing someone losing their clothes next week. That flat out is not going to happen, or at least we won’t be able to see it. Also it’s annoying when that’s the focus of the show instead of the good action we’ve been getting. Either way, good show here as ECW has finally gotten it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 26, 2006
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in Oklahoma so I’ll bet JR gets messed with somehow tonight. Other than that we’ve got a world title match with the most decorated former world champion in ECW history, the Sandman, challenging Big Show. Other than that we get the blowoff match with RVD and Hardcore Holly which has a semi-famous spot in it. Let’s get to it.

After the theme song, Joey and Taz basically say what I said in the intro.

Here’s JR to open the show. This can’t end well. He thanks Joey and Taz for inviting him, starting a brief argument over who invited him between the announcers. JR mentions getting started in Mid-South in this area a long time ago. He starts talking about how much he likes ECW when Matt Striker interrupts him.

Striker says JR is a blue collar worker and has the shirt to prove it. He gets in JR’s face about liking alcohol, just like Sandman. Striker keeps going on until Sandman comes in with the cane. Sandman gets in a shot to the ribs and hands the cane off to JR. Ross gets in a pretty good shot to the back and Striker bails in shame. JR toasts Sandman, the new ECW Champion, and beer is consumed.

Video on Eric Bischoff’s book, set to look like an old NWO promo. Basically he says he’ll tell the real story. I’ll give him this: I want to read the book now.

Extreme Strip Poker is coming. Oh geez.

Hardcore Holly says he’ll do his talking in the ring. Riveting stuff here.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

Punk talks about being addicted to competition and wanting to compete with the biggest and the best. Kelly comes up and raves over Punk’s tattoos. She talks about extreme strip poker but is sad she can’t get into casinos yet. Kelly asks Punk to play extreme strip poker with him but he thinks that’s trouble. Knox comes up and gets in Punk’s face. Punk says worry about your woman because she keeps trying to get into his yard. Knox says he’s going to straighten Kelly out then he’s coming to look for Punk. Punk will be waiting.

Watch the Marine! No seriously, almost no one else did so could you please?

Ariel vs. Francine

This is an Extreme Catfight. Brawl to start, Ariel’s top comes off, Kevin Thorn comes in, Balls Mahoney makes the save, we’re done. This lasted like a minute.

Video on Sandman.

Heyman and Big Show are in the back talking about the main event. Show says he’s not worried about Sandman and wants Heyman and the security to stay in the back. The cane will be legal tonight and Heyman doesn’t seem happy.

Rene Dupree gets out of the shower in a towel. He says he’s extreme and opens the towel, looks down, and smiles. WWE before it was PG ladies and gentlemen.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Sandman

I love how Roberts says world title. We join this in progress after a break with Sandy pounding on Show with the cane and totally dominating. They head to the floor for more cane shots and Show is busted open. Holly needed 24 stitches to close the cut on his back. Sweet goodness that was a bad cut. Show comes back with a loud chop and some headbutts.

Things slow down a lot but that’s understandable in this case. A big right hand takes Sandman down and here’s the chokeslam. Sandman counters and hits a DDT before grabbing the cane. A middle rope cane shot to the head gets two but here’s Striker to steal the cane. The cobra clutch backbreaker and standing legdrop keep the title on Big Show.

Rating: D+. This is ECW 101 at this point: build up a challenger of the week and then have Big Show maul him. There’s nothing wrong with that as they need to dispatch these challengers before we get to the guy that can finally beat Big Show. Not a good match here or anything but for a TV main event like this it was acceptable.

Overall Rating: B. Given the opening match and the good shots of Ariel almost falling out of her top and a decent main event, this is probably the best ECW show yet. That Holly vs. Van Dam match was good back then and it’s aged well with the two guys beating the tar out of each other for almost twenty minutes. Good show here and hopefully they keep this up in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 20, 2000
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Something you’ll often hear me criticize is a company giving us a match that was on PPV a few days or weeks earlier away on free TV. This show is the opposite of that case, as we’re less than two weeks from Wrestlemania 2000 and the main event of tonight’s show is going to be the scheduled main event for the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

This was a request from a colleague of mine named Adam King. Check out his site at http://kingsrecaps.wordpress.com/. He has some very good Raw, Smackdown and Nitro reviews that are worth checking out.

We open in the back with Vince and the Stooges. Cole comes up to ask about rumors of a big announcement, but Brisco talks of a tag team elimination tournament tonight. There are going to be tag matches all night with the winners facing off in a battle royal. The winners are #1 contenders. Vince has another major announcement for later though. Since there were WWF guys on Saturday Night Live two days earlier, LIVE from Chicago, it’s Monday Night Raw!

X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Hardy Boys

I miss the King of Rock theme they used to have. Apparently this is the debut of that song. This is part of the aforementioned elimination series, the first of four matches in the series. Pac and Matt start things off and Matt gets his head kicked off very quickly. Matt comes back with a powerslam and back elbow before the tag is made to Roadie and Jeff. Jeff sends Road Dogg to the floor and hits a modified baseball slide which gets two back in the ring.

Roadie makes a brief comeback but Jeff knocks both members of DX down with ease. It’s back to Matt but he walks into a spinwheel kick from Pac again. Off to Road Dogg again but a DDT lets Matt tag Jeff again. Poetry in Motion hits Road Dogg and Pac is sent to the floor. And here’s Kane who wants to kill X-Pac at the moment. Tori, the chick that left Kane to be with X-Pac, tries to save. In the commotion, it’s Twist/Swanton to Road Dogg for the pin to send the Hardys to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here as the Hardys were fast paced and awesome at this point and DX was able to keep up with them. The Kane stuff had been going on for a long time and would finally be blown off at Mania. It’s amazing how much more developed the tag division is at this point than it is in modern times. There are enough teams for an eight team series to face the champions. Think about that.

Tori gets chokeslammed post match.

HHH and Stephanie are here with something to say. Speaking of good music, My Time was another awesome song from this era. HHH demands respect before he’ll get to the point. He says he’ll beat Big Show and Rock at Mania, but tonight Vince says he has a match that will rock the foundation of the company. “If it’s that big, I have to be in it.” HHH was awesome in 2000. He calls Vince out to announce the match but he gets Big Show and Shane instead.

Shane says that the big announcement must be HHH vs. Big Show one on one for the title. HHH says no because he doesn’t have to defend the title until Wrestlemania. The champ says he’d do it but Big Show doesn’t deserve it. This brings out Vince who announces that tonight it’s HHH vs. Big Show vs. Rock for the title, meaning the Wrestlemania main event is happening tonight. Apparently HHH has to say yes so Vince goads him into it, but only if this match never takes place again, meaning no rematch at Wrestlemania. Vince says kiss the title goodbye.

Rock is just getting here.

Godfather vs. Big Boss Man

Good night Godfather is over like free beer in a frat house. Boss Man and Buchanan charge the ring and both guys beat down Godfather. No match.

DX wants to know what in the world HHH is thinking. His response is making Rikishi vs. Kane.

Too Cool vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

Another Series match. Too Cool clears the ring before they even take their jackets off. Scotty and Dean get things going and the pace starts very fast. Dean is hip tossed down and Scotty moonwalks into a tag. Dean kicks Grandmaster in the face and it’s off to Saturn who is armdragged down and punched in the face. A splash in the corner misses Saturn and the Radicals take over.

Saturn puts Grandmaster on his shoulder and rams him chest first into the buckle. A superplex is blocked and Grandmaster hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Off to Scotty who is clotheslined down by Saturn and suplexed by Dean. The Radicalz change again without a tag because they’re evil. Saturn goes up but gets knocked down by Scotty and it’s off to Grandmaster again. Everything breaks down and Scotty loads up a double Worm, only for Eddie to break things up. A weak tiger bomb from Dean looks to set up the Cloverleaf but Grandmaster superkicks him for the pin to advance.

Rating: C-. Sorry for all the play by play in this but it was as much of a paint by numbers match as I’ve seen in a very long time. It wasn’t a bad match or anything but it wasn’t interesting for the most part with both teams just doing their thing. That’s the usual problem with tournaments: there’s no story to the individual matches and you get stuff like this a lot of the time: technically fine but not that interesting.

Kane vs. Rikishi

These two will be teaming up against Road Dogg and X-Pac at Mania for reasons that seem to be unclear to everyone. Rikishi has a bad ankle although it’s good enough to hit a Samoan Drop on Kane. Not that it matters as Kane chokeslams him down, only for DX to run in for the DQ.

Rikishi beats up DX almost on his own but the numbers catch up with him.

Benoit doesn’t like Angle and is going to prove his hatred for Kurt by beating up his #1 contender, Chris Jericho.

Rock doesn’t feel anything about the main event. He does however feel that Cole should suck on a monkey’s nipple. “What are you waiting for? Go find a monkey!” Rock says bring it tonight if we’re having the main event for Wrestlemania tonight. He’s always ready no matter when it is so let’s do it.

Angle comes out for commentary.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho runs his mouth before we get going and Benoit jumps him from behind. They fight on the floor and then inside as Kurt says he’ll defend the title in a triple threat. Benoit takes over with a backbreaker for two. Jericho counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two of his own followed by a butterfly backbreaker for the same. Benoit suplexes him down again to get the advantage back and a clothesline gets two.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Jericho tries to fire off some punches but Benoit knees him in the ribs and drapes him over the top rope. Jericho ducks a clothesline and hits the flying forearm to put Benoit down. Bulldog gets two for Jericho and he dropkicks Benoit to the floor. Benoit gets in a fight with Angle and walks into a dropkick from Jericho. Angle throws Benoit back in and hits him with a belt, allowing Jericho to hit the Lionsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not the best match these two have ever had but any combination of these two and Angle is always worth checking out. Their triple threat was a great match and set up a whole summer of these guys fighting each other. The ending helped set up the three way in a few weeks so there was some long term value to this as well. Good stuff.

Post match here’s Bob Backlund for no apparent reason. Jericho beats him up but walks into the Angle Slam.

Backlund and Angle celebrate in the back.

Head Cheese (Al Snow and Steve Blackman) have an odd moment with Benjamin Franklin. That’s not a metaphor or anything. A guy in a Franklin costume comes up and talks to them.

Holly Cousins vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

I can’t call them Head Cheese in good conscience in a match. Snow and Crash (Hardcore Champion) start in match #3 of the Series. Crash tries to get on Snow’s shoulders but gets caught with some headbutts instead. The Champion (Crash is the only one in the match) catches Al with a rana but Blackman kicks him in the back and comes in. Back to Snow as Lawler tries to explain hip hop music to JR.

Off to Hardcore who slams Snow and everything breaks down. The Hollies seem to screw up a double flapjack and here comes Taz with a referee. He beats Crash into the crowd which is somehow not a DQ and the tag match is now a handicap. Blackman kicks Snow down and we cut to the back to see fans trying to see the Hardcore Title stuff. We cut back to see Blackman holding Holly over his knee as Snow hits a middle rope legdrop for the pin to advance to the battle royal.

Rating: D+. The Hardcore Title constantly made matches a mess and this was no exception. The Hollies were former tag team champions but that was never really talked about for the most part. Head Cheese was a comedy team and it worked for awhile but thankfully they dropped it relatively soon after this. This wasn’t much of a match due to stuff other than the match getting the focus.

Edge/Christian vs. Acolytes

Christian dives on both Acolytes as they come to the ring. He and Bradshaw starts and the Canadian gets his head kicked off to give Bradshaw the advantage. Farrooq comes in with a spinebuster for two and Christian is in trouble. A very weak clothesline puts Christian down again but he comes back with a reverse DDT. Here’s Mideon who wants to be in the Acolytes and it’s off to Edge who takes Farrooq down with a top rope clothesline. Everything breaks down and Mideon hits Bradshaw with a mop by mistake, sending Bradshaw into the Downward Spiral from Edge for the quick pin.

The four teams are the Hardys, Edge/Christian, Too Cool and Snow/Blackman.

Test vs. Val Venis

Trish is with Test and debuted last night, selecting him as her first talent. Val gets an early advantage but walks into a full nelson slam. That doesn’t seem to have much of an effect as he pounds on Test in the corner, only to be whipped into the other corner incredibly hard. The pumphandle slam is countered by Val into what I think was a botched belly to back powerbomb of some kind. Trish gets up on the apron and unbuttons her coat to show Val her abs, allowing Test to roll up Val and use trunks for the pin.

Post match Val beats up Test until Albert makes the save, I guess officially forming T and A. Trish gets a mic and calls her boys off Val and names the team. Test gives her perhaps the most awkward hug ever and that’s it.

Video of Rock hosting SNL this past week. This was a huge deal as the first time had been to promote the original Wrestlemania with Hogan hosting. Rock got to show off some actual talent though, including singing a bit. Big Show, HHH and Foley were there too.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Hardy Boys, Edge/Christian, Al Snow/Steve Blackman, Too Cool

The winners get the Dudleys at the PPV and the champions are at ringside. Everything goes nuts to start with Too Cool having an early advantage. Scotty hits the Worm on Blackman and is thankfully eliminated by Snow, meaning Too Cool is eliminated. Edge dumps Blackman so we’re down to two teams in about a minute. Jeff takes down Edge but Christian takes down Jeff. Matt takes down Edge and Jeff Swantons Christian but Edge spears Jeff. Then the Dudleys get in and hit 3D on Edge and Matt. It’s table time and Jeff is powerbombed through Christian through a table. The match ends with no winner.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Big Show

HHH is defending. We start fast with Rock taking Show down for two and a slam gets the same on HHH. Rock knocks HHH to the floor and Vince decks the champ. Rock Bottom gets two on Big Show as HHH saves. He gets sent to the floor again and this time Rock follows to hammer on him. Rock and HHH fight into the crowd and Show eventually follows with right hands to the Brahma Bull.

Back to ringside with HHH being thrown into Big Show. They head back into the ring and Rock is double teamed down into the corner. Show chokes away as HHH directs traffic. HHH drops a knee on Rock’s head (clearly missing by a good four inches) for two. While Big Show is arguing with the referee, Rock fires off some right hands on HHH but the Game punches him down.

Out to the floor again with HHH being sent into the steps but he goes back inside and is immediately stomped down by Show. A low blow keeps Rock down and one from HHH is just cruel punishment. HHH clotheslines Rock down and it’s finally time for the bad guys to get in a fight. You knew it was coming. Big Show beats on HHH but it allows Rock to come back with right hands for the champ and a DDT on Big Show.

A Samoan Drop gets two on HHH and the crowd is getting WAY into this. Chokeslam takes Rock down but HHH makes a last second save. A facebuster puts Show on the floor and HHH follows, only to get chokeslammed on the outside. Rock hits a spinebuster on Show but Shane hits Rock with a chair to break up the Elbow. Vince takes Shane down but HHH hits Vince and takes a chair from him. The chair goes upside Show’s head and the Pedigree retains the title for HHH.

Rating: B-. This was energetic and pretty fun but it’s a very good thing they didn’t go to Wrestlemania with this as the main event. The way they went wasn’t much better, but at the end of the day the only match that would have worked would have been Rock vs. HHH. Still though, for a Raw main event, this was certainly fine.

HHH and Stephanie are leaving and here’s Linda. She announces that the main event of Mania is now a fourway including Mick Foley. One thing I never got: why should Rock and Show be involved still? They lost clean to HHH here as triple threats are no DQ, so why should they get the shot again? Anyway, Foley’s pop is off the charts and he beats up HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Not only did we have a show long competition which would eventually set up a triple threat ladder match, but we literally got the Wrestlemania main event on Raw. What more can you ask for from a free TV show? The return of Foley was HUGE and the whole show came off like it was leading up to the biggest and most important show of the year, which is exactly what they were shooting for. Very good stuff here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2012
Date: August 19, 2012
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s that time of the year again and I can’t say I particularly care about most of the show. The main events here are HHH vs. Lesnar in a match that has taken WAY too long to get to, Sheamus defending against Del Rio in a match we saw last month with Sheamus winning, and Cena vs. Punk vs. Big Show in a match that Show flat out does not need to be in. I’m not that fired up about this show again but hopefully they pull something off. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: US Title: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Antonio is challenging and has beaten Santino twice I believe in the past few weeks. Santino takes him to the mat to start and works over the arm with an armbar. Cesaro misses a charge and it’s Cobra time but Antonio knocks Santino down and kicks the Cobra to the corner. We hit the chinlock for awhile and the idea is now that the Cobra is in the corner and Santino needs to get to it. This isn’t exactly Jake Roberts but they’re trying at least. Cesaro rips the Cobra up and Santino gets all fired up. He fires off his usual stuff but misses the headbutt. The Neutralizer is countered and Santino has another Cobra. He loads it up but Aksana’s distraction allows Cesaro to hit him in the ribs and the Neutralizer gives Cesaro the title at 5:05.

Rating: D+. This was about what it should have been, stupid sock thing aside. There was only so much you could do at this point with Santino as champion so having him lose to Cesaro here was the right move. With all these new stars they’re pushing, they have to actually give a title to someone and Cesaro is as good as anyone else. Decent opener, but it kind of deflates the crowd before a show.

The opening video is about the 25 years of this show (even though there have only been 24 editions of it and WWE still can’t count) and the main events, mainly focusing on Lesnar vs. HHH of course.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Chris Jericho

Ziggler has pink sunglasses to go with the shirt now. Jericho is injured coming in and word on the street is that this is his last night or next to last night so that’ll likely come into play. The idea is that Jericho can’t win the big one anymore which is an interesting way to go. Ziggler runs to start but the old man chases him down and speeds thing up. Jericho slips on what I think was supposed to be a spinning crossbody coming out of the corner but it only gets two.

Ziggler gets knocked down again but he reverses a suplex and goes for the bad legs. Dolph tries to speed things up but gets backdropped to the floor for his efforts. Jericho loads up the springboard dropkick but Ziggler moves, sending Jericho crashing into the floor. Back in and Ziggler works on the ribs as you would expect him to do. After knocking Jericho down again he uses Jericho’s arrogant cover for two. That’s awesome stuff there.

A corner splash misses and Jericho dropkicks Ziggler to the floor. Back in and Ziggler charges into a boot followed by a double ax from the middle rope from Jericho for two. The Fameasser out of nowhere gets the same for Dolph and Vickie is freaking out. The Walls are countered but Jericho hits an enziguri for two. Jericho doesn’t seem like he’s selling the ribs at all here. The sleeper goes on out of nowhere but the Canadian escapes and puts Ziggler on the top.

In a cool spot, Jericho punches him in the head ten times while standing on the top rope before snapping off a top rope rana for a very delayed two. A jumping DDT out of nowhere gets two for Ziggler and now it’s Jericho in trouble. Jericho bulldogs Ziggler down but the Lionsault hits knees. Zig Zag gets two and the fans are getting into this. Ziggler goes to pick him up but walks into a Codebreaker, sending him to the floor. Vickie grabs Jericho’s foot as he throws Ziggler back in, giving Ziggler a small package for two. There are the Walls and Ziggler taps at 13:08.

Rating: B-. The selling in this was really getting on my nerves as Jericho didn’t seem like he wanted to sell at all. Based on this, I really hope Ziggler doesn’t cash in later to erase this match because it’s happened already. The match got better near the end but it wasn’t a masterpiece or anything. If the rumors of Jericho leaving soon are true, I don’t really get the idea of him beating Ziggler clean at all.

Time for a recap of Lesnar vs. HHH, this time being from Monday with Shawn getting his arm broken.

Heyman and Lesnar are in the back and Heyman says that tonight, it’s a fight to the finish, meaning the referee shouldn’t stop the match for anything. No word on if that’s the official rule or not.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

This is based off Bryan, Kane and Punk vying for AJ’s affections a few months ago. There was a month or so off in between there so the story didn’t quite follow up that well. Bryan tries to run from the monster to start but after the moonsault out of the corner, Kane slams him down and hits the low dropkick for two. There’s a big Daniel Bryan chant just before he gets his head kicked off for two. Bryan goes after the knee and kicks Kane to the floor where he hits the suicide shove, but Bryan might have hurt his shoulder. It seems to be ok though as Bryan hits a missile dropkick for one as he comes back in.

Kane starts his comeback with some corner clotheslines and a side slam for two before going up. Bryan escapes the chokeslam but gets uppercutted right down. For no apparent reason, Bryan punches Kane in the face and gets beaten down in the corner. It’s almost a DQ but Kane lets off because he’s mellow now. A kick to the arm looks to set up the NO Lock but Kane is too big and fried and freaky. The fans start driving Bryan crazy so his top rope headbutt is caught in the chokeslam for no cover. The tombstone is countered into a small package for the pin at 8:03 despite Kane’s arm clearly being off the mat.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but when you push the idea of this being a big deal of Bryan beating Kane, it might be better if they had had move than FOUR total matches (that’s ever, including a match on Raw like 3 months ago that Bryan won. This could have been the first hour main event on any given Smackdown.

Kane chases Bryan into the back and destroys Josh Matthews for talking to him.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Miz is defending because Rey beat him once on Smackdown ten days ago, which is all you need for an IC Title match at Summerslam. Rey is dressed as Batman for some reason. The blowup AWESOME balloons are back on the stage. Mysterio immediately grabs a rollup for two so Miz bails to the floor. AJ has tweeted that she’ll deal with Kane tomorrow night. Rey gets sent to the floor but he rolls through it to land safely. That was kind of cool.

An attempt at the sitout bulldog on the floor is countered by Miz throwing Rey into the barricade. Back in and Rey escapes a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two. Miz hits a kind of Abyss Shock Treatment for two which was a good looking move for him. Off to a cravate from the champion followed by the corner clothesline. Miz loads up his top rope ax handle but Mysterio crotches him to get a breather.

Rey heads up and hits the seated senton, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb when he tries a rana. Rey kicks him in the head for two before countering a slam into a spinning DDT for the same. Rey ranas him off the top into the 619 but the top rope splash misses. The Finale is countered into a rollup for a very close two. And never mind as the Skull Crushing Finale retains the title for Miz at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was another decent match but it’s nothing that jumps off the page at you. Mysterio didn’t need to win the title here and Miz winning another match over a big name is certainly a good thing, but sweet goodness I did not care at all. The match came and went and most people didn’t care because there was almost no build at all. Nothing to see here although it wasn’t bad.

We’re roughly an hour into this and there’s nothing of note at all so far. It’s been the epitome of a meh show.

Eve and Teddy say nothing of note outside AJ’s office so Punk heads in to see AJ. After some exposition, Punk gets annoyed that AJ won’t respond to anything he says. He says he’ll retain the title tonight and AJ says nothing at all, nor does she move at all.

We recap Sheamus vs. Del Rio. Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match last month which Sheamus won clean. This month, Del Rio injured Sheamus’ arm before their match and then Sheamus stole his car. There’s nothing to this feud and no one seems interested at all in seeing it.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Feeling out process to start with both guys going for finishers early on. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Del Rio to kick Sheamus to the floor. Oh and Sheamus is defending. Del Rio sends him into the steps and it’s back inside for a chinlock. A neckbreaker is countered by Alberto into some kicks to the face for two. We’re only a few minutes into this and it’s already dull.

Del Rio pounds his own chest and shouts BROGUE but charges into a double ax from the champ. A charge into the corner hits post though and Del Rio takes over for all of a second. The shoulder missile from Sheamus is broken up and a Codebreaker to the arm from the top gets two. The armbreaker goes on out of nowhere but Sheamus powers out of it into a kind of powerbomb. White Noise gets two and it’s Brogue Kick time, but Del Rio hides in the corner.

That’s fine for Sheamus as he hits the ten forearms to the chest followed by some punches in the corner. Del Rio drops Sheamus face first into the buckle and the running enziguri gets two. Ricardo comes in for no apparent reason and loses a shoe as Alberto yells at him. Sheamus blasts him with it and hits an Irish Curse for the pin at 11:21 but Alberto had his foot on the ropes. Geez we have to sit through this AGAIN next month?

Rating: D. STOP PUSHING DEL RIO BECAUSE NO ONE FREAKING CARES ABOUT HIM! I like Sheamus but my goodness no one cares about this feud and now it’s going to go on ANOTHER month because WE WILL CARE ABOUT ALBERTO WHETHER WE WANT TO OR NOT. I’m so bored of seeing these two fight when it’ll be another arm injury for Sheamus before Del Rio finally gets the title you know he has to get. The wrestling was fine and the rating is probably low but dang man, give Sheamus ANYONE else to feud with.

Some soldiers are here.

HHH told the referee earlier to only end it on a pin or submission. Let them fight apparently.

We’re looking at Tweets from Shawn throughout the night.

Tag Titles: Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

The Players are challenging despite losing clean to the champs on TV a few weeks ago. Truth is also injured coming in because that’s a running theme tonight. Truth and Young start things off and I guess Truth is ok after the emphasis they gave to him getting beaten down on Raw. Off to Titus who has a bit better luck, slamming Truth down and putting him in a front facelock. There’s the tag to Kofi and NO ONE reacts when he springboards in to attack O’Neal. Boom Drop hits but Young’s distraction breaks up Trouble in Paradise.

The challengers make Kofi chase them around the ring, which lets Titus clothesline Kofi down to take over. Darren puts on a chinlock followed by a powerslam for two. Titus hooks a quickly broken abdominal stretch but as he tries a spinning Rock Bottom, Kofi counters into a DDT. Off to Young vs. Truth and the fans don’t react again. Everything breaks down and Kofi dives onto Titus on the floor. Young gets two on a rollup on Truth before the Little Jimmy retains the titles at 7:07.

Rating: C. Why? Why in the world would you keep the titles on Kofi and Truth, who haven’t done jack with the belts in months. My only guess is because of AW, because clearly the Prime Time Players, a decent team in their own right, need to be punished for something their manager said. This show is getting worse and worse as it goes on and that’s not good.

We recap the events in LA before the PPV. Basically, BE A STAR!

HHH vs. Lesnar is main eventing. Is anyone really surprised by that?

We recap the triple threat match which is Cena vs. Punk vs. Show. Cena is there because Punk is tired of being overshaddowed by him and Show is there because we can’t just have Cena vs. Punk which is an interesting match and because we potentially need a fall guy for Cena to win the title without beating Punk.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Cole gives the dreaded stats of Punk’s title reign, which are usually the kiss of death. Punk has pink trunks tonight which is a different look for him. Cole points out that Punk hasn’t main evented a PPV since December. Way to push your champion as a big deal there Cole/Vince. Then again that’s the idea of the angle but it doesn’t help much. Show takes them both down to start with his big man power offense and does the SHH chops.

Punk and Cena team up to beat on Show but he runs them over. Cole calls Punk and Cena an unlikely alliance. You know, because two guys against Big Show NEVER team up on him. The small guys finally put Show down but Punk can’t GTS him. Cena tries an AA but Punk breaks it up. Show takes over again and as you would guess, things slow back down. Cena gets knocked to the floor but Show misses a splash on Punk. The springboard clothesline is caught by Show and a slam gets no cover.

Show loads up the WMD but Cena goes after Show to break it up. Show spears Cena down for two and the small guys are down again. The Vader Bomb aimed at both only hits Cena but Punk saves the pin. Show and Cena go to the floor and the Big Bald catches Punk in mid suicide dive. He throws Punk into the ropes and heads back inside. Cena loads up his finishing sequence on Show to huge boos, only to get taken down by Punk.

Punk drops the elbow on Show for two. A kick to the head puts Show down and Punk throws on a Kofi Clutch but Show powers out again. Cena puts Show in the STF but more power escapes it for Big show. Cena’s middle rope cross body doesn’t work but the springboard clothesline from Punk puts him down. The running knee in the corner staggers Show but the bulldog is countered. Top rope Fameasser puts Show down and it’s a Koji Clutch and the STF at the same time for the tap.

Cue AJ who says restart the match. Show chokeslams both guys and gets two on both. Cena pops up and hits the AA on Show, but Punk throws him to the floor and pins Show to retain at 12:38 total.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part, but I’m glad Punk retained….I think. One thing: what in the world was the point in the restart? If you want to go with Punk stealing the pin then that’s fine, but why in the world do the whole AJ thing? Anyway, this probably leads to Cena vs. Punk in Boston at Night of Champions, which is what this show should have been. Still though, the match was just ok at best, just like every other match tonight other than the opener.

Fred Durst, Piers Morgan, Rick Rubin (music producer), David Arquette and Maria Menounos are here.

There was a WWE Film premiere last night. It’s called The Day, which is another in the long line of great titles from WWE Films.

We recap the pre-show match.

Time for the annual Summerslam concert as Kevin Rudolph performs Be A Star. I have never heard so much silence when a musician takes the stage Some Divas come out and dance with him. The announcers dance too. This just came and went.

Time for the BIG recap of Lesnar vs. HHH.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock charges to start ala vs. Cena but HHH punches his way out of the arm. Brock gets the arm hold on and even jumps onto a standing HHH with it but HHH punches out of it again. A clothesline puts Lesnar on the floor and a jumping knee puts Lesnar down again. Lesnar gets sent to the floor for the second time and this has been almost all HHH in the first two minutes.

Lesnar gets back in and takes his gloves off. He takes HHH down with ease and blasts him in the back of the head, which is illegal in UFC. Out to the floor and Lesnar hits a hammerlock slam on the table. Back in and another hammerlock slam hurts the arm even more. Lesnar wraps the arm around the ropes as this is basically a regular match so far. The F5 is countered but Lesnar hits a big German suplex to take him down again. HHH grabs a DDT to slow Lesnar down but it’s right back to the arm hold.

That doesn’t last so it’s hammerlock slam #3 followed by HHH being sent into the steps arm first. They head to the announce table and Brock jumps off of it with a forearm to the back of the head/neck. Back in and Brock uses a freaking small package of all things for two. Lesnar clotheslines him down and the match slows down again. The Game grabs a suplex to finally get himself a breather and both guys are down.

The Pedigree is countered and HHH gets to do his fly over the corner bump. Out to the floor again and HHH sends Lesnar into the table to slow him down. Lesnar looks hurt, like legit hurt. It looks like his groin or ribs. Lesnar shouts about his stomach and things slow WAY down. Oh never mind he was apparently playing possum. If so that’s the best selling Brock has ever done.

HHH knees him in the ribs to escape the arm lock and does it again a few times for good measure. Spinebuster puts Lesnar down but the Pedigree is countered into an also countered F5. Pedigree hits on the second attempt but it only gets two. Lesnar hits HHH low but Armstrong (referee) won’t call the DQ as per HHH’s orders.

The F5 hits but only gets two, which only shocks about half the audience. The kimura (arm lock) finally goes on in full but HHH makes the rope….which means nothing here. HHH pounds out of the hold because that’s how tough he is or something. Out of nowhere HHH hits a second Pedigree but Lesnar no sells into the kimura. Lesnar cranks on it and HHH taps at 18:45.

Rating: B. Well, it’s safe to say they’ve lost the point of Lesnar already. This was a standard WWE main event style match with HHH getting in more offense in about 80 seconds than Cena got in through his entire 20+ minute match with Lesnar. Brock trying the arm hold about 10 times before getting it in good doesn’t make him look awesome or anything. It makes him look like someone with one move and no game plan at all aside from that. The match was good but when you go from Cena and Lesnar having a potential match of the year to this, it’s a pretty big letdown.

HHH gets to do the big “I don’t need medical help” stand up and walk out but the fans tell him he tapped out.  They play it up like it’s his last match.  Right.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t bad. It was the thing that’s far worse than bad: it was dull. The matches were all fine, but at the end of the day, pretty much nothing happened here. The only title change was on the preshow and it looks like we’re gearing up for more Sheamus vs. Del Rio next month, which is boring me to tears. Cena vs. Punk will be awesome but it could have been awesome here. The show wasn’t bad, but it was underwhelming. It’s a weak ending to a pretty good summer for WWE.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Dolph Ziggler – Walls of Jericho

Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Small Package

The Miz b. Rey Mysterio – Skull Crushing Finale

Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Irish Curse

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Prime Time Players – Little Jimmy to Young

CM Punk b. John Cena and Big Show – Pinned Show after an AA from Cena

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – Kimura

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

It’s Summerslam time and honestly I barely care after this lackluster build.  Let’s get to it.We’ll start with the matches of course.

For the preshow I’ll take Santino to retain in some wacky manner.  It should go to Cesaro to just give him something to do but they’re pushing Cesaro too hard to have him win here.

On to the main card, I’ll go with Bryan over Kane.  Bryan hasn’t won a singles match in months but yet he doesn’t need to win at all.  I’ll go with him because there is no reason to have Kane win at all here.

Ziggler over Jericho due to the word on the street being that Jericho is done after Sunday.

Miz to retain I guess but honestly does anyone care at all here?

Hopefully the Prime Time PLayers take the tag belts as Kofi and Truth are some of the lamest champions I can remember in a long time, which is saying something for the freaking tag team titles.

Sheamus over Del Rio with a possible cash in for Ziggler.  I really hope they don’t put it on Del Rio and then have Ziggy cash in.  That move drives me crazy.

For the main events, I’m hoping for Punk to retain but Big Show being in there would point to Cena walking out with the title.

For the real main event that hopefully won’t go on last, it has to be Lesnar.  I mean…..it HAS TO BE Lesnar……right?

Overall, this is one of the weakest looking Summerslams I can remember in a very long time.  The world title match is dragged down by a combination of Big Show and Punk seeming to have no idea if he’s a face or a heel.  At the end of the day, Rock continues to loom over this company but at least now there’s an open spot to face him at the Rumble.  Other than that, we have Lesnar vs. HHH in a feud that has almost no heat on it because it was started and then not mentioned again for three months before Shawn turned into a scared coward and Lesnar turned into every other cowardly heel that runs from a fight on the roster despite running over JOHN FREAKING CENA like he wasn’t there.  But hey, it makes HHH look more feared and if anyone needs the extra boost, it’s HHH.

Thoughts/predictions?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 20, 1999
Location: Compaq Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 12,063
Commentators: Jim Ross, Doc Hendrix

This is a Raw request which I don’t remember the reason for. We’re just past Armageddon 1999 and Big Show is world champion. We’re inching closer to the Rumble and I would have expected to do the January 3 show which is the one where HHH won the title from Show. I don’t remember anything specific about this show so let’s get to it.

HHH and Stephanie, who are currently in power, are in the back to open the show. The Mean Street Posse are around them. Stephanie was insanely hot at times back in the day. She says that tonight, they’re going to spread some holiday cheer around here. We’ll start with this.

Test vs. New Age Outlaws

Test jumps Billy during the entrance but Road Dogg jumps Test to take over. The Hardys/Edge/Christian are watching in the back. Roadie’s dropkick gets two on Test as the tall Canadian is in trouble. A double backdrop is countered into a double DDT from Test and the Outlaws are down. A big boot puts Billy down again as does a gutwrench powerbomb. The pumphandle to Roadie is broken up by a dropkick from Billy which gets two. Test’s nose mask is taken off and the Fameasser get the pin. This was about what you would expect it to be.

HHH and Stephanie are pleased. Edge/Christian and the Hardys come in because they’re tired of fighting each other. HHH says ok then, let’s have Edge/Matt vs. Jeff/Christian.

Post break the relatively new Kurt Angle comes in to see the bosses and HHH makes Angle vs. Viscera, which doesn’t please his wife.

Edge/Matt Hardy vs. Christian/Jeff Hardy

The Hardys come out together as do the Canadians. Edge and Matt jump the other guys to start before it’s Edge vs. Jeff to get us going officially. They head to the floor and Christian dives on Edge while Jeff slides back in and dives on Matt. Back in and Edge slams Jeff off the top while Matt hits a Razor’s Edge Bomb for two on Christian. Off to Matt vs. Jeff with the black haired one firmly in control.

Back to Edge with a snap suplex for two. The fans chant for Terri as Jeff finally gets the tag to Christian. He cleans house but hits Jeff out of instinct. In an interesting bit, everyone hits their finishers on their regular partners for two. Edge and Matt can’t quite hit Poetry in Motion, allowing Christian to hit the Unprettier on Matt followed by a 450 from Jeff for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fun but I’m not sure if the idea behind it was all that interesting. The fans weren’t all that into it because I think they just wanted to see these four have their usual awesome matches. Instead we got a pretty good match which wasn’t incredibly interesting. Still though, points for trying at least.

Moolah and Mae come in to see HHH and Stephanie. HHH makes jokes about their age before offering Mae some alcohol. He changes his mind though and says tonight there’s going to be a triple threat tag match: the Acolytes vs. the Dudleys vs. Moolah/Mae. Oh dear.

After a break here are HHH and Stephanie in the arena, apparently to give JR his Christmas gift. JR is brought into the ring and Stephanie yells at him for something in Entertainment Weekly where Vince and Rock were praised for making WWF so entertaining. HHH says he and Stephanie were the ones that made this place entertaining so let’s decorate the place accordingly. On the mini-trons next to the main screen, HHH and Stephanie’s pictures replace the Raw logo. Subtle.

Stephanie talks about how fun it was to slap JR last week but says this is going to feel even better. HHH gets behind JR as Stephanie shoves him down, sending JR to the mat. Cue Mankind who says he can’t stand anymore of this. You can tell he’s serious because he quotes Popeye. He tells HHH to pick on him instead of JR and says the McMahon-Helmsley Era kind of sucks.

Stephanie’s Santa hat gives Santa a bad name because Stephanie is a ho. Steph has to hold HHH back but HHH lets up. He says he has an idea but it takes him forever to get it out. Mankind will have a Boiler Room match tonight but it won’t be with HHH. Stephanie slaps Mankind and says Merry Christmas.

Kurt Angle vs. Viscera

This is during Kurt’s goofy period which was hilarious. Before the match he talks about the Three I’s: Intensity, integrity and intelligence. The goofy look on his face is great. Angle starts by trying to go behind Viscera but is easily bulldogged down. Viscera easily overpowers him and hits a Samoan Drop for no cover. Angle comes back with some dropkicks including one off the top. Steve Blackman, who has been having issues with Angle lately, comes out and blasts Viscera with a kendo stick for no apparent reason, allowing Kurt to hit the not yet named Angle Slam for the quick pin.

Stephanie thinks Angle is cute.

Moolah and Mae are ready.

So are the Dudleys.

The Acolytes are too.

Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young vs. Acolytes vs. Dudley Boys

The Dudleys are brand new and insane here while the Acolytes are big evil guys. D-Von tells the ladies the Dudley Commandments: Thou shall not steal, thou shall not kill, and thou shall not mess with the Dudleys. That was a good catchphrase back in the day. They rush the ring and beat the women down before the Acolytes get here. The Acolytes take their sweet time getting here before beating up the Dudleys. Moolah and Mae hit a held Bubba but he escapes and PUNCHES THEM IN THE FACE. Mae Young gets What’s Up for the pin. This was insane but perversely entertaining.

Mark Henry comes out for the save post match.

HHH gives Stephanie a present: a Santa Claus. That’s Mankind’s opponent tonight apparently. Oh dear.

Mankind vs. Santa Claus

This is in the boiler room. Mankind isn’t sure how his kids are going to handle this. The Posse shows up and jumps Mankind before he goes in and now the real fight begins. Mankind: “Did I just get beaten up by the Mean Street Posse???? That’s embarrassing!” Santa is in the boiler room and Mankind explains the rules to him but says Santa can walk out and win. Three more Santas run in and beat up Mankind but he fights them off with a trashcan.

There are two more Santas in front of the door but they’re pretty quickly dispatched. Oh those two are the Outlaws. There’s a cookie sheet in the boiler room for no apparent reason. Mankind sings some carols but another Santa pops up to hit Mankind with his sack. The final one is HHH. JR: “I’d know that nose anywhere.” Santa wins. File this one under “what are the writers on, because I want some of it.”

Al Snow wants a match with Rock and since it’s Christmas time, he gets it. This was during Snow’s odd heel period. Oh and it’s a Brahma Bull Rope match.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. The Ho’s look good tonight. Sweet goodness Godfather was over. Godfather goes off on Jericho to start and punches him down. This is pretty soon after Jericho debuted so he’s still a jerk. Jericho low bridges Godfather to send him to the floor followed by a springboard dropkick to send Godfather back to the floor again. An attempted powerbomb on the floor is countered and Godfather makes his comeback. He slams Jericho down and kicks him into the corner as Chyna comes down. With the Ho’s distracting the referee for no apparent reason, Chyna hits Godfather low so Jericho can retain. Another short match.

Terri and BB (a big chested chick) are told they’re in a Top Rope Topless Match. Basically it’s a match between two guys and when the respective guy is thrown over the top, his respective chick loses an article of clothing. The winning guy gets a shot at Jericho on Smackdown.

European Title: Val Venis vs. Hardcore Holly

Venis is defending and this is the topless thing. BB is with Val and Terri is with Holly. Apparently this isn’t for Val’s European Title so scratch the first part of the line. Before the match, Val compares women to Christmas trees: they’re pretty at first but they look great when he plugs it in. Apparently this is for the title. Ok then. HHH comes out to host this and get a better view.

Feeling out process to start but Val’s powerbomb is countered into a rana over the top, meaning both girls have to strip. They take the dresses off and we’re back to the men fighting. Holly hits the signature dropkick and sends Val over the top rope and eventually to the floor, making him the winner but not champion despite him being called the challenger more than once. As usual, since this was barely wrestling I’m not rating it.

Terri leaves and BB takes her top off but only HHH gets to see.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock costing Al Snow a match against Mankind due to some trickery.

Al Snow vs. The Rock

This is a Brahma Bullrope match, which means they’re tied up but it’s pin/submission to win. The place goes bonkers for Rock. Before the match, Rock says he has two choices. He can walk up the ramp and let Snow win, or he can beat Snow all over Houston. Rock starts beating Snow up before the rope is even tied up. They’re tied now and Snow is sent into the post and clotheslined down on the floor. Back inside and Snow gets a shot with the bell to the head of Rock for two.

Snow stomps on Rock as the fans are already chanting for Rock. For the life of me I don’t get why they would turn Snow heel. If there has ever been a guy who is just a bad fit as a heel, it’s Snow. Snow chokes with the rope and even tries to hang him. The announcers try to call this Rock’s signature match, even though this is one of only two or three I remember him being in.

A Samoan Drop gets two for Rock and here come the punches. Snow hits the referee low followed by a bell shot to Rock. Snow gets a chair but Rock counters into a DDT. Cue the Outlaws who are quickly dispatched. Rock loads up the Elbow but Road Dogg hits him with a chair, giving Snow a two count. Billy comes in with a Fameasser to Rock, giving Snow the unlikely pin.

Rating: D+. Considering this was a bullrope match and they were only attached for about 3 minutes, there wasn’t much in the way of the gimmick. I’m assuming the Outlaws came out because Rock is on HHH’s hit list but it’s not really clear. This wasn’t a horrible match but it was pretty overdone considering what they had to work with. The rope didn’t need to be a part of this at all.

The Posse spills stuff on Stephanie and HHH so they get a match tonight against two members of Too Cool.

Post break Tori comes in and yells about something so HHH gives Kane, Tori’s boyfriend, a world title match tonight. If he loses though, Tori has to spend the holidays with X-Pac, Kane’s current foe.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Mean Street Posse

For no apparent reason this is now a six man. Too Cool cleans house to start before we get down to Scotty vs. Pete (Pete Gas, Rodney and Joey Abs comprise the Posse). Some nefarious maneuvers get Scotty down, including a belly to back suplex. That gets two and it’s all downhill for the Posse from here. There’s the hot tag to Rikishi, right hand, Samoan Drop, Banzai Drop to Joey and we’re done. This was nothing.

It’s time to dance.

HHH and Stephanie talk about the main event.

WWF World Title: Kane vs. Big Show

Show is defending in case that wasn’t clear. This was when Show still had long hair and was relatively slim. HHH comes out to watch again. Kane fires away to start and hits a boot to the face. The champion comes back with a Russian legsweep for two. Stephanie is sitting on HHH’s lap in a recliner on the stage. Kane’s boot to the ribs is caught but he hits an enziguri to the face to send Show to the floor. A big clothesline off the top takes Show down but he picks Kane up and drops him on the barricade. That’s scary strength.

Show hits Kane in the back with a chair for a DQ but HHH says keep things going because it’s no DQ. Show loads up a chokeslam so Kane kicks him in the balls to escape. Kane gets thrown into the crowd for a countout but if you’re paying attention, you know what Stephanie says. HHH makes it falls count anywhere too. Kane gets launched into the barricade but comes back with a backdrop over the barricade and back to ringside for two.

They slug it out again and Show hits a belly to back suplex for a delayed two. Another slug out results in Kane being sent into the steps. Show picks up the steps but Kane dropkicks them back into Show’s face. Cue the Outlaws as Kane picks Show up for a slam, only to have to chase the Outlaws away from Tori. Show powerbombs Kane through the announce table to retain the title.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but this is by far and away the best Big Show vs. Kane match I’ve ever seen. Apparently the formula for these two to have a good wrestling match is to take the wrestling out. Battles of the giants are more fun when you have the two of them beating each other all over the place and having them break a lot of stuff. For a TV main event, this was very fun.

HHH and Stephanie gloat to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was around the time that the Attitude Era was starting to slow down a lot after 1999 was the high point of the insanity. You could see HHH vs. Rock on the horizon as the feud that sent this company to levels no one believed were possible, along with other big stars ready to go. The Radicalz would arrive in about a month for a bunch of new blood and things couldn’t be much better. This show though was going too fast for its own good but you could tell they were clearly trying which is more than you get a lot of the time anymore. Good show.

If you’re interested, I’ve done the Raw from the next week as well:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/02/18/monday-night-raw-december-27-1999-five-run-ins-two-chair-shots-and-a-ref-bump-in-a-six-minute-match/

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