ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re past Summerslam now and Big Show is still champion, having beaten Sabu at Summerslam. The main event tonight: Big Show vs. Sabu for the ECW Championship. We also have Matt Striker, who is making his ECW debut tonight after a long time on Raw. We also get a bikini contest between Kelly and Torrie, which I’m sure will be riveting. Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

We open with Torrie and Kelly in their bikini contest. Torrie is in FHM this month. She disrobes first and looks good but Mike Knox stops Kelly from disrobing. Test is with him for the sake of setting up a six man tag. Dreamer and Sandman come in and we’re ready to go.

Torrie Wilson/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Test/Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly

The girls go at it quickly and the fans freak out. Torrie is in a bikini so we get a Stinkface. So that’s where Kelly learned it. Test and Dreamer come in, thank goodness, with Test poking him in the eye to take over. A trio of backbreakers gets two. Knox comes in and stays on the back of Dreamer as the fans tell Knox that he can’t wrestle.

Test comes in and takes out Sandman before throwing Dreamer in a bearhug. Dreamer finally gets out and hooks a neckbreaker to give himself a breather. Off to Sandman and Knox but it’s Test who gets caught in the White Russian Legsweep. Sandman hits a Swanton (Rolling Rock) on Knox for two. After some interference from Test, Knox misses a middle rope legdrop. Dreamer DDT gets the pin on Knox.

Rating: D. This was a mess and the girls didn’t add anything to it, but they were only involved for about 30 seconds so it’s not that big of a deal. The match was boring though as it was just old school vs. new school which would be the story on this show for months on end. Sandman was a nostalgia act at this point but he got paid for a few months out of it so I can’t complain much there. Not a good match but it got the crowd a bit fired up so I can’t complain much.

Show tells Heyman not to worry tonight because it’s a one on one match with no weapons for Sabu to use.

Matt Striker is in the back and says he’s our teacher. The letters ECW bring about images of barbarism but those aren’t good. Therefore, he’s going to educate us in the future.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Extreme Rules. Thorn jumps Balls before he can use the chair and we’re off fast. Balls comes back with right hands and a HARD kick to the face. Out to the floor for a good beating of balls. Back in and Thorn beats Balls with a stick. These jokes write themselves. The stick gets rammed into Balls’ throat (there is such a thing as making this too easy you know) but Mahoney comes back with punches and the Nutcracker Sweet for two. Balls goes to get a chair but Ariel bites him on the way back in. A chair shot and the elevated Stunner get the pin for Thorn. Quick match with more unintentional comedy than anything else.

More Shannon Moore stuff. The system is oppressive I see.

CM Punk vs. Christopher W. Anderson

He’s doing the IT’S CLOBBERIN TIME already. Anderson is introduced as Christopher W. Anderson but screw that, he’s CW Anderson. Anderson takes him into the corner and we actually get a clean break. Joey and Tazz argue over how much coffee Anderson had in the original ECW. They go to the corner again and Anderson kills him with the left, resulting in a left/right joke series from our commentators. Anderson works on the arm in the corner but gets caught in the Vice around the ropes. The knee/bulldog combination conencts but Punk walks into a spinebuster for two. Never mind as it’s strike sequence, Rock Bottom, Vice, tap.

Sabu says he’ll win tonight.

Trailer for The Marine.

Heyman talks to someone and tells them to make an impact tonight. It’s Hardcore Holly and Heyman whispers a name to Holly which Hardcore isn’t thrilled with. Whoever he whispered has been making trouble for Holly in the locker room.

Danny Doring vs. Rob Van Dam

Doring tries to speed things up but gets his head kicked off instead. Danny drops some elbows on the back to take over but Van Dam has had enough of that. The monkey flip sets up the top rope kick and Doring is in trouble. Rolling Thunder hits and the Five Star finishes the squash.

Post match Hardcore Holly jumps Van Dam with a chair. He hits Doring for good measure before giving Van Dam the Alabama Slam.

Highlight video of Summerslam.

Rene Dupree says he’s the best athlete ECW has ever had.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Sabu pounds away to start but gets beaten down almost as quickly. Some LOUD chops put Sabu down so Show picks him up and drops Sabu onto the top rope and out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Show choking away even more. During the break there’s been a table set up at ringside, apparently to taunt Sabu.

Sabu breaks up a bearhug with a poke to the eye. The referee goes down, as does Sabu to a fallaway slam. Sabu uses the referee being down to get some chair shots in, taking Big Show down. Triple Jump Moonsault hits but there’s no referee. Arabian Facebuster hits and a second referee counts two. Sabu gets the bell and clocks Show with it in front of the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really have time to do anything, but it wasn’t all that interesting watching Sabu get thrown around and then a ref bump followed by a stupid DQ. These two would feud for awhile while we waited to get something better going in the main event. This was fine for a filler feud though.

Post match Sabu hits him again with the bell, busting Show open. He knocks him through the table (great sound effect) and HOKEY SMOKE Show is busted bad. There’s a freaking pool of blood on the ground. It’s legit scary looking actually.

Overall Rating: D+. It wasn’t a great show, but there was a major shift this week as the main event only ran about five minutes (not counting commercial) as opposed to the usual 15 minutes or so it had been getting up to this point. That can be seen as either good or bad, in that it gives more time to other acts, but it also takes away the long match. In ECW’s case though, with just an hour a week, spending ¼ of the show on a single match wasn’t the best idea. The shift here is good and the show had a lot more to it as a result. The problem is the additional stuff here wasn’t that great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 22, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back for another episode and it’s the last show before Summerslam. That being said, Big Show needs an opponent. We saw the return of Rob Van Dam last week to attack both Big Show and Sabu, so my guess is it’ll be Van Dam or Sabu challenging Show on Sunday. Is that a ladder I see over there? Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman and Show in the back. Heyman says that Angle has been injured and is medically suspended for the time being. He was supposed to be in the ladder match later on, but now it’s just Van Dam vs. Sabu.

Here’s Foley in the arena. We get a clip of Melina and Foley beating up Flair last night. This was to set up their match at Summerslam which is pretty forgotten today. Foley talks about how last night he invited Flair to come here tonight but Naitch isn’t going to be here. This is because of a real life argument they had over Flair calling Foley a glorified stuntman and Foley saying Flair had the same match for years.

Foley goes into a big rant about what he went through against Undertaker in the Cell, which Flair says was just accidentally falling off the Cell. What Flair never gets is that Foley has always liked what he sees when he looks in the mirror, and that’s what he’ll do on Monday after the match with Ric. He talks about being a two time bestselling author and calls out…..Kelly Kelly?

Here she is and with a much slower version of her signature song. He also brings out Melina which is a big shock to Tazz for some reason. Foley says it’s time for a three way dance, so the girls grind on each other and Foley dances like Dude Love. This draws out Flair and the fight is on. A low blow stops Mick and Flair takes off his belt to whip Foley, followed by some choking. Flair shouts about how Foley is going to quit on Sunday and leaves. This was a, shall we say, interesting use of the first ten minutes of the show.

Shannon Moore says to question authority.

CM Punk vs. Justin Credible

Justin slaps him and gets kicked as a result. Into the corner and Punk does Joe’s Facewash for two. A top rope crossbody is countered into a gutbuster for two for Credible. Abdominal stretch goes on for a bit but Punk comes back with strikes. A bad kind of release tornado DDT gets two. Punk comes back with the knee in the corner, a high kick, a Rock Bottom and the Vice for the tap out. Short match but it did its job.

Video on RVD. This is followed by him sitting on a ladder, talking about being in MITB at Wrestlemania. He won that as well as the world title, and now he wants it back.

Rene Dupree is still coming.

Mike Knox/Test vs. Little Guido/Tony Marmaluke

Guido and Knox starts and the beating begins. Test comes in and the beating continues. The beating ends with a pair of big boots and a TKO to Mamaluke. Total squash.

Dreamer and Sandman chase off Knox and Test post match.

Sabu says he’ll win.

Heyman talks to Show and the security guards when Angle runs in. He beats up the security with ease and hammers on Big Show but finally gets taken down. Cops show up to handcuff Angle and take him out.

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Ladder match and the winner gets Big Show on Sunday. Feeling out process to start and we get our first possible botch as Van Dam tries his springboard kick out of the corner but it hits Sabu in the leg as he was trying something else at the same time. Van Dam goes up but gets stopped by some shots to the face. Sabu tries Air Sabu but gets crotched in another botch. This REALLY isn’t starting out well.

Van Dam tries to jump from the top to get the contract which I’m surprised more people haven’t tried before. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and Sabu goes for the first ladder. Van Dam makes the save and both guys head back in, sans ladder. A spike DDT puts Rob down and now we get the first ladder brought in. Scratch that as Van Dam hits a baseball slide into the ladder to keep it on the floor.

Van Dam hits a dive onto Sabu and the ladder as we take a break. Back with Sabu hitting the Arabian Facebuster onto the ladder. There’s the camel clutch, also on the ladder but it’s broken very quickly. Sabu sets the ladder up but Van Dam shoves it down before he can get anywhere. Sabu tries the triple jump moonsault using the ladder and falls flat on his back. Rob throws him into the ladder in the corner but misses a charge. In a GREAT counter, Van Dam monkey flips the ladder itself into Sabu. That was awesome.

Rolling Thunder hits onto Sabu onto the ladder, but it was minus Sabu and Van Dam’s back is hurt. Now the triple jump moonsault hits as Sabu used the chair instead of the ladder like a freaking idiot would. Van Dam gets in another shot and goes up the ladder but Sabu makes a quick save. Sabu goes to his old standard: throwing the ladder at Van Dam’s head.

Van Dam kicks him down again and hits the Five Star but it only does so much good here. His ribs are more messed up than they already were but he goes up anyway. Sabu is down on the floor, so there’s no reason for Van Dam to go slowly, other than Big Show missing his cue as he does here. Show FINALLY comes in and throws Van Dam off the ladder and through a table. Show calls for the contract to be lowered but Sabu dives at him and lands in a powerbomb position, but it’s enough to grab the lowered contract and get the title shot.

Rating: D. You know how I always talk about how Sabu needs someone to keep him calmed down or it can get ugly? This was what happens when it gets ugly. Some of these botches were just HORRIBLE and it ruined whatever they might have had going with the match. The monkey flip spot was great and the ending was creative, but the stuff getting up to that was just horrible.

Show chokeslams Sabu onto the contract (despite having a chair and a ladder in the ring) and chokeslams RVD as well. Sabu eats the contract to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show FLEW by and I’m not sure it worked for the most part. The main event was too sloppy to be worth much, the opening segment was about a Raw issue instead of an ECW issue, and the other two matches were squashes. It wasn’t a horrible show I guess, but it went by so fast with so little happening that it really didn’t have a chance to be good.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: August 29, 2006
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Taz

It’s another week in and the show continues to be decent, at least in theory. Tonight is all about furthering Heyman vs. Sabu in the battle of ECW past, which is probably the best feud this show has going. Also tonight we have RVD vs. Hardcore Holly, which if I remember right has a scary bump in it, but that might be a rematch later on. Let’s get to it.

We open with Heyman of course. He talks about how this is his creation and how he’s our messiah as usual. Heyman has never wrestled in ECW, although I’d assume that’s probably a good thing. Tonight he’s getting into the ring against…..Sabu. I don’t see this going well. He says that Dr. Frankenstein must destroy his own creation and beat his own child tonight in the ring.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

This is a followup to last week where Holly jumped Van Dam with a chair. Holly goes right for him but gets kicked down and clotheslined to the floor very quickly. Van Dam puts him on the barricade and this his spin kick to the back. Back in the Alabama Slam is countered but Holly throws Rob to the floor to take over. Off to a HARDCORE chinlock before the dropkick gets two. Van Dam kicks his head off to put both guys down but manages to get up first. A superkick and standing moonsault get two. Windmill kick sets up Rolling Thunder but the Five Star misses. Holly brings in a chair but Rob hits him with it for the DQ.

Rating: D+. That was a pretty lame ending to a pretty weak match. This was only about five minutes long and while they would feud for a few weeks before Van Dam beat him in an Extreme Rules match (meaning this wasn’t the match I was talking about in the intro), this was a bad opener to the feud. Not much to see here.

Rene Dupree rides an exercise bike and says he’s the most extreme wrestler.

Here’s Big Show for a chat. He talks about how dominant he is and how the McMahons saw that. That’s why they enlisted him to help in their battles with DX. You mean it’s not because there’s no way to believe that Vince and Shane can fight Shawn and HHH so they needed to bring in some heavies to do the work for them? DX’s fate will be sealed at Unforgiven in the Cell but if they want, they can come face him here next week.

Shannon Moore says fight the power.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Richards actually gets an intro. They go to the mat to start and Richards fires away with some chops. Punk knocks him to the floor and hits a suicide dive to take over, but back inside Richards crotches him on the top to slow Punk down again. Off to a bearhug from Stevie but Punk breaks out of it very quickly. Punk hammers away with his strikes and hits a butterfly backbreaker for two. Richards ducks the backfist but walks into the Rock Bottom and Anaconda Vice for the tap.

Rating: C+. This was a nice surprise as Punk got tested instead of rolling over the latest ECW jobber that he was facing. Richards is a guy that never quite gets the appreciation that he deserves, because he’s most remembered as a comedy guy. He could have some entertaining matches though when he was just being himself, which is what you got here. This was a surprisingly entertaining match.

Video on Sabu.

It’s Matt Striker’s Classroom. He says he’s a teacher and he’s here to help. For some reason people don’t cheer for him though, because they’d rather cheer for the Sandman. You know, the guy who drinks “giggle water.” Sandman is constantly drunk and has a Singapore Cane, but Striker’s weapon is his mind. Cue Sandman, but Striker actually beats him down, breaking the chalkboard over his head and hitting him with a stapler before leaving.

Balls Mahoney is in the back and has something to say when Kelly comes up and flashes him. Ok then.

Taz and Joey explain that Angle is gone and wish him the best in his future endeavors.

Paul Heyman vs. Sabu

It’s Extreme Rules. The security guards (the Bashams but I don’t think that was ever revealed on TV) jump Sabu on the way to the ring of course. Since this is ECW though Sabu beats up both guards who are in riot gear, but Big Show makes save #2 for Heyman before Sabu can, you know, kill him. Show CRACKS Sabu’s head with a chair as I’m sure you can get where this is going already. Sabu is busted already and the three guys not named Heyman beat him down with Big Show holding him so Paul can get in a shot.

We get out first table of the night (that has to be a record for ECW as the show is almost over) as Heyman dances around the ring and calls himself the Messiah. Show lifts Sabu up into a gorilla press position to put him through the table on the floor, but of course he holds him just long enough for RVD to come out for the save. Van Daminator takes down Big Show and it’s kicks for the Bashams.

Sabu finally gets his hands on Heyman and destroys him for a bit, even hitting the Arabian Facebuster. Sabu and Van Dam put Heyman on the table but Big Show pulls Sabu out of the air on the dive attempt. That’s always cool to see. Cue run-in #5 (I’ve lost count) in the form of Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam to Van Dam through the table as Show hits that walking legdrop thing, giving Heyman the pin.

Rating: C-. This is more ECW’s style: a totally mindless and insane brawl with massive carnage. It was clear what they were going for as soon as they said Extreme Rules, but that’s ok here. They had to do something to keep this from being Heyman getting killed for eight minutes, and having all these people come out allows for more stories to be advanced. Not a good match or anything but it was fun in an insane sort of way.

Sabu gets put through a table to end the show. Heyman makes the sign of the cross over Sabu’s body.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show. The main feud is starting to get some traction but it’s not exactly the most interesting story in the world. Big Show would hold the title for the next three months or so which didn’t really do much for the level of interest in the title. The show here was getting more coherent but it wasn’t exactly interesting.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: September 5, 2006
Location: Columbus Civic Center, Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Tonight we get really EXTREME as DX is here to face Big Show, which is basically a preview for Unforgiven and their Cell match which will also involve the McMahons. Other than that we have Heyman punishing RVD and Sabu for existing by putting them in a tag match against Knox and Test. Then again that might be punishment for all of us in general. Let’s get to it.

DX arrives to open the show. Shawn: “You think this is the place?” HHH: “Bingo.”

Sabu/Rob Van Dam vs. Mike Knox/Test

Extreme Rules. Sabu and Knox start because you have to tag in an EXTREME rules match. They have about as technical of a match as Sabu has ever had before it’s off to Van Dam. Knox comes in as well and pounds away as Sabu loads up a table. He gets a chair as well as Knox drops a freaking elbow for two. This match is already boring me to death and we’re only two minutes into it.

Test comes in with a clothesline and sends Van Dam to the floor. The Originals hit a nice slingshot legdrop and Rolling Thunder combo as things breaks down. Van Dam hits a top rope kick to break up Sabu being thrown through the table. Through a series of counters everyone but Sabu winds up on the apron. He springboards off the chair to take all three of them down and through said table in the first good spot of the match.

Back from a break with Test hitting Sabu with a chair for no cover. Van Dam blasts Test with the same chair and Surfs it into the corner. Knox breaks up the Five Star with a chair shot and hits a superplex. Sabu breaks up the cover with an Arabian Facebuster and puts Knox in the camel clutch. Van Dam kicks the chair into Knox’s face but Test saves the pin. Sabu hits Air Sabu in the corner and Test falls onto the chair. Triple Jump Moonsault gets two. Another table is brought in and the Originals mess up the legdrop/Five Star combo through the table so only the Splash hits and gets the pin on Knox.

Rating: D+. Those of you that have read my stuff over the years know that I am by no means an ECW fan. That being said, Van Dam and Sabu are at almost no fault here. Test and Knox sucked the ever loving life out of this match and brought it through the floor. They were the perfect idea for heels in ECW but that doesn’t mean they were interesting in the slightest. I can’t stand those two and I’m sure they’ll be pushed even more in the future.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel pull a tarot card which reveals sexuality. Are they ever going to do anything with these two?

Here’s Striker again to talk about Sandman. He says that last week brain prevailed over brawn and that he’s smart enough to never go swimming with stingrays. This would be the day after Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray so the fans give Striker more heat than ever. Here’s Sandman so Striker runs away. Sandman writes SUX under Striker’s name. What biting commentary.

Balls Mahoney vs. Stevie Richards

Kevin Thorn comes to commentary for some reason and Ariel grinds on Joey a bit. Balls pounds him into the corner to start but Richards clotheslines him down for two. A neckbreaker gets the same and Richards takes over. A bad X-Factor gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. Balls slaps the mat which doesn’t count as a tap out for some reason and they’re back to their feet. Mahoney makes his comeback but has to stop to hit Thorn for some reason. A cane shot to the head of Mahoney gets the pin. Too short to rate but it was more about angle advancement than anything else.

Punk slaps Moore and calls him a poser. Yeah this is who they gave Punk for his first feud.

Big Show vs. D-Generation X

The world champion doesn’t even get an intro. Extreme Rules here, at least until Heyman comes out and says it’s a regular match. DX doesn’t have to tag here so they try to double team Show as much as possible. They get him down with punches but a double suplex is just a bad idea. Show takes over with his usual power offense, chopping both guys in the chest HARD.

DX tries to speed things up but the security guards pull the ropes down. HHH goes after them before they can beat up Shawn but Show pulls Shawn back into the ring for the one on one beating. HHH is down in the aisle and Shawn gets put in the bearhug. Show loads up the chokeslam but HHH makes the save. The Game fights him down and manages a kind of spinebuster as Shawn is back up. He dives onto the security guards but Show blocks the Pedigree. Hardcore Holly of all people comes in, and that’s a DQ.

Rating: D. This was like a preview of some sort but it was nothing interesting at all. For what was called the biggest match in ECW history, I was expecting more than a five minute match with Hardcore Holly coming in for the save. Nothing to see here as the match sucked for the most part, followed by a bad ending.

Shawn gets beaten down until HHH gets his sledgehammer for the save. DX stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This was probably the worst show they’ve had in the few months this has been on. The main event was basically a preview for a PPV match involving Raw guys and the other featured match was slow and boring because the new ECW guys absolutely suck. Punk was only here for about 20 seconds so there was almost nothing to care about here. Awful show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2009
Date: April 26, 2009
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,357
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Back with the final chronological Backlash before we jump back to 2006 to close out WWE PPVs. The main events tonight are Edge vs. Cena in a last man standing match and Legacy vs. HHH/Shane/Batista for the other world title which is one of those “whoever gets the pin gets the title” deals. I remember really liking this show so hopefully it’s still good. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Wrestlemania and how this is just a replay of the main matches from there. It worked last year so hopefully it does here too. The Hardys fight again tonight too.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Christian

Christian recently returned and is getting his title match here after winning an overly complicated competition. Swagger takes him down but Christian comes back with right hands and a jumping back elbow for two. Swagger is like screw that and picks Christian up and launches him to the floor. Back inside and Swagger wraps him up on the mat. That gets shifted to a bearhug and the Canadian is in trouble.

Christian breaks it up with some forearms but Swagger gets behind him into a gutbuster for two. Back to that body vice on the mat which plays into Swagger being an All-American wrestler. The Canadian escapes and hits the pendulum kick in the corner but Swagger drills him again. Vader Bomb hits knees but Christian’s tornado DDT is countered as well. Sunset flip gets a VERY close two for the challenger.

Gutwrench powerbomb is countered but Christian’s ribs are getting really banged up now. Swagger puts him on the middle rope and this time the tornado DDT connects, getting two. Jack hits a belly to belly to put Christian down again and they head to the floor. Swagger BLASTS him with a right hand and tries a German off the apron but Christian holds the rope.

Back inside Christian goes up top but gets backdropped down. A top rope Vader Bomb gets two but an Oklahoma Stampede is countered into a rollup for two. The second attempt at the Stampede gets two so they both take off buckle pads. Swagger goes into one first and the Unprettier gets the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was the right kind of match for an opener with Christian having to fight from behind until he caught Swagger using his own tricks. Christian would dominate ECW for the next ten months or so until it was replaced by NXT while Swagger would move over to the main shows and become world champion in a questionable move.

Christian celebrates in the back but stops to go talk to Edge. Edge says this must make Christian think he’s better than he is now because Edge doesn’t have a title. Christian wants to know what changed Edge and Edge says it was Cena. That’s why he’s not fun anymore.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat

This should be a treat. The story here is that Jericho went on an anti-legend kick in the past few months until he beat three of them (Piper, Snuka and Steamboat) at Mania. The thing is Steamboat, who might have wrestled one match in 15 years, stole the show and looked like he could still go out there and wrestle for 45 minutes and beat half the guys on the roster. He was 56-57 at this point, so he wanted one last match, one on one with Jericho.

Steamboat takes him down to the mat and Jericho has to get to the rope to escape. Ricky goes to the floor and makes Jericho miss him a few times before hitting a dive over the top and out onto the Canadian. Back in and there’s the armdrag into the armbar. The fans tell Steamboat that he still has it. Jericho gets up but walks right back into the armdrag/bar again. They slug it out and Steamboat is knocked over the top but he skins the cat, because he’s that awesome.

Jericho clotheslines him to the floor and springboard dropkicks him right back down. Off to a chinlock but Steamboat fights out and hits another armdrag. Back to the chinlock as Jericho talks trash. That’s one of the things I’ve always liked about him: he keeps things from getting completely dull during a usually dull part of the match. Back up and Steamboat shoves off the bulldog and Jericho gets caught on the ropes.

Steamboat goes all the way to the back for a belly to back suplex but the delayed cover only gets two. Some chops get another two count as does a powerslam. Jericho comes back with a running enziguri for two and the bulldog puts Steamboat down. The Lionsault is broken up but Jericho reverses the reversal into the Walls. Steamboat slips out from under them but can’t remember how to put on the figure four. That’s where the match gets kind of sad.

Jericho escapes and charges into the post, allowing the top rope crossbody to get two. Ricky goes up again but dives into the Codebreaker….for two. We get the WM 3 ending with the small package out of the slam for two, but Jericho slaps on the Walls and cranks hard for the tap. That’s one of the only times (if not the only time) I can remember Steamboat submitting.

Rating: C+. This is a really hard one to grade. Steamboat tried as hard as he could, but at the end of the day he’s nearing 60 and had wrestled two matches in almost fifteen years. Now don’t get me wrong: Steamboat DID NOT look awful out there, but he looked old. It’s sad to see him when you know what he used to be capable of, but all things considered, this was a solid performance. It’s VERY good that it was the last time too, because it would have gotten bad if he had kept going. The match was fun but it didn’t blow me away like the Mania performance did.

Steamboat gets a standing ovation post match, which he deserves.

Santino runs into Beth in the back and talks to “Santina” on the phone, who says she’s coming. Oh geez I forgot about this. Santino won’t admit he’s Santina and says Beth is the delusional one. Beth breaks up with him.

Kane vs. CM Punk

Punk won MITB and Kane isn’t happy about it. Punk holds him off with some kicks but has to stick and move against the monster. Kane charges into a boot and gets caught in an arm hold over the ropes. Punk dropkicks him to the floor but his dive is caught in a chokeslam position. He fights up to the apron and hits a clothesline down onto Kane to take over again. Kane sends Punk rib first into the post and baseball slides into them, giving him his first advantage.

Off to a bodyscissors as it occurs to me how boring matches can become when there’s no story to them. The reviews of them become boring too because there’s nothing to say here other than the play by play. I don’t like doing them like that but there’s nothing else to do as there’s no story to this at all. Punk elbows out of it but charges into a clothesline. Punk hits a backbreaker to stay on the back which is the same kind of boring match stuff that I was talking about. The wrestling is fine but it’s the same stuff we’ve seen a million times and there’s no reason to care about it because of a lack of a story.

Chokeslam is countered into a DDT on the arm and Punk follows up with kicks to the leg. Well of course he does. Punk hooks a kind of crucifix hold on the arm in the corner but the knee in the corner is countered by a kick to the face. Kane goes up for the clothesline but Punk hits a running enziguri. The GTS is countered but there’s the bulldog and knee. Scratch that, reverse it. You get the idea I’m sure. Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into an uppercut. Kane gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar but he comes back with a side slam. Punk fires off the strikes but walks into a two arm chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here as they were totally going through the motions. The match wasn’t bad or anything but there was nothing interesting to it at all. This was there to fill in about fifteen minutes total of PPV time which was fine, but this was nothing you couldn’t see weekly on Smackdown. I was expecting a bit more too.

We recap the battle of the Hardys. Matt went crazy on Jeff after losing the ECW Title and was revealed to be the guy that was causing all kinds of problems for Jeff and ultimately the world title. They had a match at Mania where Matt went insane and got the pin. Then Matt won a stretcher match on Smackdown so tonight it’s an I Quit match. The problem at the end of the day was that people didn’t really want to see these two guys fight. This gets the music video treatment.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I Quit rules remember. Jeff goes off on him in the corner and hits a seated dropkick to send Matt to the floor. Jeff hits a dive and the referee asks if they want to quit. Yeah they’ll quit a minute into the match, sure. With a running start, Jeff hits Poetry in Motion off the steps. Back in and Jeff hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. A middle rope legdrop hits Matt and it’s off to a chinlock. The lack of covers is always a bit hard to get used to in these matches.

Matt rams him into the buckle to break the hold but can’t do much to follow up. Jeff goes up but gets shoved to the floor in a great crash. Matt wraps Jeff’s leg around the post and we get the first ask with the mic. Jeff says no both times so Matt bends the knee around the post. Matt puts on a figure four and Jeff still won’t quit. Jerry thinks Matt is going after the knee. You can’t buy this kind of analysis people!

Jeff escapes but gets put right back in it again. That doesn’t work so Matt hooks a seated half crab but Jeff still won’t quit. Matt puts him in the Tree of Woe and bends Jeff’s head back but Jeff won’t quit. Instead of holding him there longer, Matt rants and probably posts a YouTube video about it. He puts Jeff on top but his belly to back superplex is countered into a crossbody.

Jeff hooks a standing Texas Cloverleaf and Matt taps but won’t say he quits. They botch a Twist of Fate so the second attempt works a bit better. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a table. Matt rolls to the floor but Jeff follows with the Twist to take him down again. Back in the ring now and Jeff puts him on the table.

Before he does anything though, Jeff grabs some tape from under the ring and ties Matt’s hands and feet together. Now he gets a rope and ties Matt to the table. Matt still won’t quit so Jeff gets a ladder. Jeff climbs said ladder but Matt begs for mercy. He says Mom and Dad wouldn’t like it and that he loves Jeff. Matt quits to prevent Jeff from jumping.

Rating: C. This was a fun match but the ending hurt it badly. With all the stuff that Matt has been through over the years, he quits to avoid a legdrop through the table? The match was just ok up to that point but at the end of the day like I said earlier, I don’t think people were really that interested in seeing these guys fight. This ended the feud, which is probably best for everyone involved.

Jeff jumps on him anyway.

Orton talks about Batista and how he (Orton) wants the title. He tries to manipulate Dave into believing that HHH is using him.

Here’s Great Khali because he wants to kiss Santina. This isn’t going to end well at all. Ok so there was a battle royal at Mania for the title of Miss Wrestlemania. Santino wore a dress and said he was his own twin sister and won the battle royal. Beth said that it was Santino in drag but he wouldn’t admit it. Khali fell for Santina and wants to kiss her so Santino is in a tight spot. This is one of the dumbest stories I can remember in a very long time, so of course it went on for months.

After Singh says Khali wants Santina, here “she” comes to Billy and Chuck’s old music. Santina says she can’t kiss Khali because she’s not who she says she is. She isn’t single because she’s in love with another man. That man is…..JR. Oh give me a break. From what I can tell, this was another unplanned shot at JR. JR gets annoyed when Santina says he calls her his little slobberknocker. Khali apologizes but wants to see proof of their love in the form of a kiss.

Santina says she’s about to faint and here’s Beth to complain about how stupid this is. She challenges Santina for the crown RIGHT NOW. Khali complains about what’s going on here so Beth explains the whole cross dressing thing to him. She says all of the women in Punjab must be ugly. Either that or Khali is a big idiot. He chops her and the bell rings, giving Santina a win in three seconds. This is one of the dumbest angles I have ever seen and I had almost completely forgotten it. Khali rips Santina’s top off for no apparent reason.

We recap Legacy vs. Batista/HHH/Shane. Orton has basically declared war on the McMahons, having punted Vince and attacked/kissed Stephanie. Shane is the only one left and Batista has been brought in to help with HHH to counteract Legacy. Orton injured Batista and this is his return feud.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton/Legacy vs. Batista/HHH/Shane McMahon

Only Orton can win the title and it can be by pin, submission, countout or DQ. HHH is champion coming in. Legacy is Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes in case you’re a young’un. HHH goes right after Orton and they head to the floor. The other four are kind of staring at each other. This is all before the bell. Orton has run off somewhere as HHH comes back to clear the ring. The bell finally rings and there’s no Orton.

Batista starts with Rhodes and destroys him in the corner with the shoulder blocks. He shouts that DiBiase is next and it’s off to Shane who drops a middle rope elbow. Shane works on the arm and it’s off to the champ. HHH fires off right hands and a crotch chop in whatever order you would like to think it was in. DiBiase comes in and is clotheslined down. Shane comes in to play Bret in a Hart Attack for two.

Big Dave comes in again as does Cody. Legacy has had no offense so far at all. There’s a delayed vertical suplex to Rhodes but Cody rakes the eyes and brings in Ted. Legacy gets in some basic offense in the corner as they double team a bit. Batista shrugs that off and hits the spinebuster on DiBiase but Ted bails to the floor before the Bomb can hit. We’re over five minutes into this and Orton hasn’t been seen for any of the actual match.

DiBiase and Batista go up the aisle a bit but it’s more Ted running than anything else. They head back to the ring and here’s Orton to jump Big Dave, sending him into the post. He gets the tag (which wasn’t seen) and goes off on Batista. The fans are into the match now, probably because they knew nothing was going to happen without Randy there. Batista gets beaten down in the corner as the tag is made to Cody.

Legacy and Orton work over Batista on the floor and Orton hits the Elevated DDT for two. Back to DiBiase who hooks a Million Dollar Chinlock. Big Dave comes back with a belly to back suplex but he still can’t make the tag. This is looking like it’s going to be a long match given how early Batista is getting beaten down. Randy comes back in and things slow down again. Even JR is thinking he’s going too slowly.

Off to another chinlock which is pretty quickly broken. Batista comes out of nowhere with a freaking flying headbutt of all things. Hot tag brings in Shane who cleans house. Neckbreaker gets two on Rhodes. They head to the floor and Shane pulls the top off of the table but Cody heads back in. The top rope elbow gets two as DiBiase makes the save. Orton sends Shane into the steps and we go into heel control segment #2.

Randy is legal now but he brings Ted back in for fear of being interesting. Shane gets worked over on the floor a bit more and it’s back to Cody again. Legacy keeps tagging in quickly as it’s back to Orton who pulls Shane back into the wrong corner. He dropkicks Shane down and DiBiase comes in for some elbow drops. It’s amazing that this is the peak of DiBiase’s career to this point, especially when it was him who everyone thought he was the star of Legacy.

Cody hooks a front facelock which lasts about a full minute before Shane suplexes him out of it. Back to DiBiase who keeps Shane in the ring even longer. There’s the Million Dollar Dream but Shane escapes. There’s the double tag to Orton and HHH with the Game pounding away in the corner. Legacy gets thrown to the floor and there’s a spinebuster to Orton for two.

Everything breaks down and Cody blasts Shane with a chair. Batista gets hit in the throat with it too as the Pedigree and RKO are both countered. HHH has to take the chair away from Batista to avoid the DQ, but he walks into the RKO for two. The bell rings but it has to be waived off. The Punt gives Orton the title.

Rating: B-. This was a bit of a mess but after the mess that was the main event of Mania, it was definitely the right idea to bring in four other people. Orton would feud with Batista for awhile until Big Dave got hurt (again) before feuding with Cena to end the year. HHH would feud with Orton and Legacy for awhile before hooking up with Shawn again for another DX reunion.

HHH gets taken out on a stretcher.

We recap Edge vs. Cena, which is a rematch from the triple threat three weeks ago minus Big Show. That’s the match with the double AA to both guys in the mind blowing spot of the match. Cena took the title from Edge and tonight is Edge’s rematch in a last man standing match. The theme of the video is that Edge has had Cena’s number over the years and it’s really well made.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

The brand of the titles is pretty much a guess at this point as they were moving around a lot at this time. Cena is defending and this is last man standing in case you forgot what you read about 20 seconds ago. Cena took a Conchairto on Raw so he’s a bit messed up in the cranium. This is billed as the last match between the two. I’m sure. Edge avoids the bulldog to start and it’s a standoff.

The challenger bails to the floor but misses the spear back in. Edge takes over by pounding on him in the corner before walking into a release fisherman’s suplex. An Edge-O-Matic puts Cena down as we focus on the back of Cena’s head. Edge wins a slugout and puts Cena down with another shot to the head. A flapjack puts Cena down again and we get a logical sleeper. Edge puts him down and finally lets go but Cena is up at seven.

Cena comes back with the shoulder blocks but Edge breaks up the Shuffle. There’s a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena gets up again. Edge knocks him off the apron and into the table as we get to the more wild part of the match. That shot only gets another seven so Edge loads up the steps. The spear that Edge tries hits the steps though and Cena gets a breather. At six though Edge comes back and sends him into the steps again, putting the champ down.

Now Edge goes into the steps again as this is feeling like it’s on a loop. After another eight count Cena picks up the steps and puts them in the ring albeit with some difficulty. Edge gets in another shot to the head and Cena is down again. The Canadian crushes Cena in the corner with the steps and dropkicks them into his body but both guys are down as a result. Back up and Cena launches Edge to the floor. We’re about twelve minutes into this and it hasn’t been all that great so far.

Things pick up a bit with Cena picking up the steps and throwing them over the top rope and right onto Edge’s head. Edge is up at eight and Cena is getting fired up. Back in the ring and they slug it out some more with a double punch putting both guys down. Back up and three AA’s, an Edgecution and an Edge-O-Matic are all broken up before Edge hits a belly to back suplex to take over.

He brags too much though and Edge gets caught in the STF. He taps but it doesn’t matter. As with any submission hold, Cena lets go early (I wonder if he did that with Mickie….allegedly) and Edge is up at 8. The AA is broken up again and Edge spears him down. Edge goes up top and Cena FINALLY hits the AA off the ropes but it doesn’t finish things either. Cena goes up but dives into another spear. Now this is getting better.

The spear only gets nine and Edge is stunned. Both guys are barely able to stand at this point. Scratch that as Cena collapses and falls to the floor. Edge won’t let the referee count and tries the Edgecution on the table, but Cena counters and hits an AA into the crowd. That wouldn’t really do a ton of damage in theory but the landing would, as the fans mostly caught Edge. It gets another nine and Edge is up, although he’s leaning on the barricade. Cena is stunned.

Edge is like screw this and runs off into the crowd with Cena chasing him up the stairs. They head into the concourse and Cena catches up with him, only to head right back into the arena. They go back down some different stairs and Cena bulldogs him onto the equipment area. Edge pops up and hits Cena with something metal as they go to the stage.

An Edgecution (the inverted DDT in case you don’t remember what that move is) on the steel puts Cena down for nine. Edge goes into the back and comes back with a chair. Gee that’s kind of lame now. He gives Cena a Conchairto on the stage….for eight. Edge’s spear is caught in the AA and here’s Big Show to chokeslam Cena through an exploding spotlight, giving Edge the title.

Rating: A-. This is one of those matches that really is better when you watched it live. I remember wondering what they could POSSIBLY do to end this and then Big Show came out to blow stuff up. They had to do something like that given all of the stuff they had done so far and the explosion filled that role pretty well. The first ten minutes are just ok but after that it kicks into gear in a hurry. Great match here.

Cena is taken out on a stretcher as Edge watches from the stage. People were BEGGING for Punk to cash in here but that wouldn’t be for a few more months.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with a solid main event. These Wrestlemania repeat shows are usually good despite having the same matches for a lot of the time. This one wasn’t quite as good as the previous year’s show but it was still a very solid entry with mostly satisfying matches, other than a few questionable ones here and there. Oh and the Santino stuff was freaking stupid. Other than that, good stuff though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 16, 2012
Location: Mandalay Bay Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Money in the Bank is over and Cena is Mr. MITB for Raw. Tonight is the final show before the real big match of the month in the form of the 1000th Raw. Punk is still champion so it’s pretty clear that Cena vs. Punk is either going to be next week or at Summerslam, unless they throw us an unlikely curve ball. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open the show. He talks about how he loves Vegas because it’s the same place that he dropped his first pipe bomb right up there on that stage. Last night he went through a war and kept the world title, because he’s the best in the world, which is what he said a year ago. With the 1000th Raw next week, he has to flash back to the first Raw when he wouldn’t even get a chance to be on TV.

Cue Big Show, who Punk faces tonight. Show says he was inches away from winning the MITB case last night but the handle broke to give it to Cena. If Show had the case, he’d cash it in right now. Punk says Show almost won last night, but he didn’t quite do it. Show is a guy that breaks a lot of stuff but no one respects him.

Show laughs at the idea that people respect Punk, but that’s impossible because the people don’t respect themselves. If Punk left the WWE tomorrow, it would be a week before the people moved on to the next big thing. Show calls Punk a joke so Punk says Show is a well paid shell of a man that happens to be a giant. Show says that after Punk gets knocked out tonight, he might lose the title to Cena.

Tag Titles: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Prime Time Players

1. Why didn’t this match happen on the PPV last night?

2. Why did they have the #1 contenders lose clean last night if they’re getting the title match tonight?

3. Why should I care?

Titus and Kofi start things off and it’s quickly off to Young. Kofi fights them off and brings in Truth as things speed up. The Players get sent to the floor and Kofi hits a flip dive to take them out as we take a break. Back with Young holding onto Truth before it’s off to Titus. Kofi finally dives over to Truth and house is a little less dirty now. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise on Titus and Little Jimmy gets the pin on him at about 7:15 total.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much here. Thankfully they didn’t change the titles after the Players got beat last night, but at the same time, they would have been the right choice for the titles now. It’s clear they’re putting no thought at all into this division but who cares anyway? They’re just the tag belts.

Daniel apologizes to AJ in the back when Eve pops in. Tonight it’s AJ/Bryan vs. Eve/???. Eve insults AJ and leaves. Bryan has something to say to AJ after they win tonight and he kisses her on the cheek.

TOUT IT OUT!

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zach Ryder

Alberto jumps him to start and takes out the arm with a DDT. They go to the floor and it’s more arm work followed by the cross armbreaker for the pin at 1:33.

Alberto goes after the arm even more until REY MYSTERIO comes back for the save. By save I mean waiting on the stage and doing his full entrance, during which Del Rio could have ripped Ryder’s arm off and beaten him senseless with it. Rey gets beaten down for a second but hits a spinning headscissors and the 619 sends Del Rio running.

Heath Slater vs. various legends happened on Raw. This is really one of the moments they feature.

Heath Slater vs. Rikishi

Kish looks decent. Thankfully he’s wearing a t-shirt here which is probably a telling sign for him. Slater sings a bit, takes a superkick, the Stink Face and a Samoan Spike of all things. Rump Shaker ends this at 1:11. See, THIS is how you do nostalgia. Not by having Dusty and Piper come out every three months.

In a very cool moment, the Usos (Rikishi’s sons) appear in the ring to do the Too Cool dance with their dad.

Eve Torres/??? vs. Daniel Bryan/AJ

Eve’s partner is Miz. The crowd LOUDLY chants YES with Bryan in a cool moment. The guys get us going here. Bryan fires off some HARD kicks in the corner and it’s quickly off to the girls. Eve chokes away in the corner but AJ snaps and fires off a bunch of Bryan like kicks. Miz distracts the referee so AJ kicks him to the floor and looks all loony. Eve rolls up AJ but there’s no referee. Bryan reverses it and AJ pins Eve at 2:55.

Post match Bryan says he loves AJ and says he asked for her hand in marriage last week to become WWE Champion. Tonight though, he wants nothing. He gets on one knee and pulls out a ring. AJ says yes and they kiss.

Another Raw moment is when Rock threw the Smoking Skull belt into the river.

The wedding is next week. Dang they’re packing that thing.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

That’s quite the upgrade over Hawkins and Reks. Swagger jumps Ryback before the bell and hits the gutwrench bomb. Vader Bomb keeps Ryback down and there’s the ankle lock but Ryback shrugs it off. Swagger shoulders him down but can’t put the ankle lock on again. Ryback takes Jack’s head off with a clothesline and a BIG spinebuster followed by a a triple powerbomb. Swagger bails and Ryback stands tall. The bell never rang and there was never a match. Good looking beatdown though and it’s good to see Ryback getting beaten down a bit before making these comebacks.

TOUT IT OUT BABY!

Here are Ziggler and Vickie. Ziggler talks about how great he is and how he’ll be better than Bret, Rock and Austin. Vickie makes sure to say every name after he says it…..and here’s Jericho. Ziggler cuts him off before Jericho can say anything because this isn’t about Jericho. Ziggler says he won the match last night while Jericho didn’t. When is the last time Jericho won anything? Actually Dolph doesn’t remember either, but he does remember hearing Jericho talk about how great he is.

Ziggler talks about how all Jericho does is lose, despite being given more chances than anyone else. All Jericho does is lose because he’s all hype. Ziggler thinks Jericho is losing his touch, so here’s a Codebreaker for him. I think that’s a face turn for Jericho. Jericho never said anything and leaves.

TOUT IT OUT AGAIN!

We run down the stuff for next week: Bryan/AJ’s wedding, Rock live, Brock answers HHH’s challenge and DX reunites again.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

After Brodus’ entrance we’re told that Christian will defend the IC Title next week due to a poll on WWE.com. JTG actually gets an entrance. Great to see Brodus moving up the card like he has since the Show match. Usual stuff here with JTG going after Brodus’ still bad knee. Brodus comes back and splashes JTG for the pin at 2:30.

Vince was bald on Raw once.

CM Punk vs. Big Show

Non title here. Punk tries to move away from Show and stabs with kicks to the leg of the giant. Show gets his hands on the champ and chops him in the corner before running Punk over with a shoulder. They head to the floor and Punk is in big trouble. He escapes the shoulders of Big Show and rams the bald head of the Show into the post. Back inside and here come the kicks. Punk blasts Show a bit but gets shoved right back down.

Punk gets up a boot but jumps into a bearhug and then a slam. With Show firing away shots at the ribs, Punk jumps on his back and hooks a sleeper. That gets broken up by a side slam and Punk is still in trouble. The Vader Bomb misses and Punk tries some clotheslines. They only do so much though as a backdrop puts the champ down. Show loads up the WMD but Punk ducks and hits a high kick. Another high kick staggers Show and a third one knocks him into the corner.

The knee hits in the corner as does a second one. Punk hits a third one but the bulldog is countered. Show charges but a corner splash hits the post. Punk hits the top rope elbow but Show shrugs him off at two. The springboard dropkick lands in the chokeslam but Punk gets his foot on the ropes at two. Show is all ticked off now and he sends Punk into the corner to pound away on the ribs. And there goes the referee for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one for the most part until the ending. That being said, the ending wasn’t too bad as it was all to set up the post match stuff which is coming in a minute. There’s only so much you can do here though as the beating from Show can only be shrugged off so many times. I was digging the match though and it worked well.

Post match the beating continues and here’s Cena with the case. Show leaves but Cena wants a mic. He says that he’s cashing in……but Show cuts him off before Cena can say when. Show says Cena is cashing in right now because Cena hasn’t been champion in a long time. A referee runs out as Show says Cena would be a fool to not cash in now. He says there’s never going to be an easier win for Cena than right now, but Cena says no. Cena says that Punk has one week to prepare because it’s next week. As for tonight, his announcement is a case shot to the head of Big Show. Punk and Cena stare it down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t a great show but it had a lot of good parts to it. There is some potential in some of the stuff they’re talking about, but it’s clear that everything will go down next week. The Tout stuff gets annoying quick but at least it’s short I guess. Cena and Punk are going to clash and it’s going to be awesome, so we have that to look forward to also. Things are looking up a bit and that couldn’t come fast enough for this company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2012
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show before Money in the Bank and things are pretty well set up so far. We have Bryan vs. Punk for the title on Sunday and Cena vs. Show vs. Kane vs. Jericho in the world title match. We’re also two weeks away from the 1000th show so expect a lot of hype for that as is the custom on these shows anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap video from last week’s shows, focusing on AJ/Bryan/Punk. This is longer than your usual opening video.

Here’s AJ to open the show. She says she’s the guest referee on Sunday and she realizes she can affect the outcome of the match. That’s an overwhelming feeling, so she needs help introducing Punk. Cue the champ who wants to know what’s going on here. AJ says Punk showed his true feelings about her last week, saying that she needed help. She says she’s in full control of her mind and starts talking much slower.

AJ says that once Punk kissed her, she knew what she had to do. She gets all psycho looking again and talks about Punk’s eyes, which are currently glaring at her. AJ says those eyes send love into her heart and fill her with desire. Quote: “They turn me on.” Punk looks very uncomfortable with this. AJ says she knows what she has to do….and she gets down on one knee and proposes.

Bryan SPRINTS down the aisle and shouts NO. He says this would be the biggest mistake of her life and he can’t allow her to do this. Bryan talks about how Punk is playing her for the match on Sunday. He says he never stopped having feelings for AJ but Punk only cares about himself. Punk says Bryan knows nothing so shut up. Bryan tells Punk to prove it by saying I Do but Punk can’t do it. Bryan says Punk sees her as a special referee but Bryan sees her as a special person.

Daniel says he came here tonight not intending to stop a proposal, but to make one of his own. He gets down on one knee and asks AJ to marry him. Punk says hang on a second and says it’s a load. If he planned this, where’s the ring? Punk says he and AJ should go to the back and talk but Bryan starts yelling too.

Cue the Anonymous Raw GM who is in power tonight. Ok that was awesome. Cole is relishing the computer being back too. Tonight it’s a mixed tag with Punk/AJ vs. Bryan/Eve. Bryan says no because AJ is his partner but the GM says get over it. AJ says this is confusing and that they all need some time to think. The match is going to be good though because everything happens for a reason. AJ has a feeling she’ll walk out of the arena tonight with her future husband. LONG promo here but it got going eventually.

We recap Del Rio attacking and injuring Sheamus on Smackdown.

Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger

Non-title of course. Swagger rams him into the corner to start but the Vader Bomb is caught in White Noise. Brogue Kick and we’re done at 54 seconds. You can’t say Sheamus isn’t efficient.

Del Rio is in the back in his car and says that Swagger is no Del Rio. On Sunday he’ll win the title. With that he starts his engine, so Sheamus kicks Swagger again.

Santino congratulates Ryder for winning the battle royal. Word is the Anonymous GM is in the building tonight so Sherlock Marella is going to find him.

Rock is confirmed for the 1000th Raw, live.

Dolph Ziggler/Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd/Christian

No intros for anyone here. Vickie is on commentary and Ziggler starts with Kidd. It’s quickly off to Christian who takes over on Dolph. The jumping back elbow out of the corner sets up a flapjack to Ziggler but it’s quickly off to Tensai. Sakamoto grabs Christian’s leg so Tensai can splash him in the corner and hit the backsplash for the pin at 1:30.

Post match Tensai powerbombs Kidd on the apron and hits a backsplash on the floor.

Cole talks about wanting the computer to be GM while Jerry wants Teddy to run Smackdown and Foley to run Raw. Cole gets upset and throws a drink at Lawler, only to be saves by an e-mail. Michael won’t read it so Jerry says that tonight it’s himself vs. Cole. Cole freaks out so another e-mail says that there will be a poll on WWE.com to determine if the match takes place. Ok then.

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew jumps him to start and goes up, only to jump into the headbutt. Big splash and we’re done at 36 seconds.

Santino accuses Jericho of being the GM, so Jericho accuses Santino of being the GM. Santino says no and leaves. Big Show comes in to talk about the tag team match tonight against Cena/Kane. Jericho talks strategy, but Big Show yells about how much his time in Jeri-Show sucked. He says for Jericho to stay out of his way tonight.

Another Raw Moment is Stephanie faking being pregnant to get HHH back. HHH found out and snapped at the altar while they were renewing their wedding vows.

Here’s Cena for a chat before the tag match later. He talks about how the match is going to be a spectacle and about rising above everyone else, but more importantly than that, it almost guarantees you a world title. This Sunday is about more than an opportunity though, because he’s going to do two things: he’ll stop Big Show and he’ll do whatever he has to do to win the match.

John Cena/Kane vs. Chris Jericho/Big Show

Good to see Kane and Cena have made up after Kane tried to take him out a few months back. Cena and Jericho start and John destroys the Canadian as is his custom. Off to Big Show whose chokeslam is countered. Cena immediately runs off and tags Kane which looked wrong for him. The monsters pound away on each other and Big Show takes over. Things slow way down as Show knocks Kane down and brings in Jericho. Jericho walks right into an uppercut and there’s the tag to Cena. Show distracts the referee, allowing Jericho to get in a kick as we take a break.

Back with Show running over Cena and chopping him in the corner. Cena tries the FU out of nowhere but can’t hold Show up. He does however manage a suplex and it’s off to Kane, only to have him walk into a side slam for two followed by a spear for two more. Off to Jericho who stomps away in the corner and chokes on the middle rope. Kane is in trouble as Show adds in a chop and we take a second break in the same match. Back with Kane hitting a side slam and making the hot tag. Cena cleans house and hits the AA on Jericho, but Show pulls the referee out…..and that’s a DQ at 16:40. How is THAT a DQ?

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part and the ending was terrible. I like not having someone in the match or lose here, but dang man, can we get a better ending than that? This wasn’t awful and it built on the PPV match a bit, but there was nothing to the match at all over than filling in a lot of time.

Show beats up all three guys with ladders post match. Cena comes back and beats up Show with the ladder.

We recap the opening segment, as in reshow it.

Eve says AJ needs to hear the words I Do tonight or she’ll snap. Eve says Punk has been champion for seven months and he’s been second fiddle to a bunch of people. It must be emasculating doing it to AJ. Eve leaves and Punk is upset.

Santino finds a phone but it’s Khali’s, who can’t speak much English.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater

This is for the Smackdown world title MITB match. Cara hits the Tajiri elbow to start but Slater pounds him down. Off to a chinlock but Cara counters with his signature wristlock out of the corner. A springboard crossbody puts Slater down and the spinning mat Slam sends Cara to the PPV at 1:42.

Slater wants any former champion to come down to face him. Cue Bob Backlund in wrestling trunks, looking about 20 years younger than he is. Slater gets in some shots but gets caught in the Crossface Chickenwing. Slater taps, even though this wasn’t a match.

The fans vote to have the match with Lawler and Cole. Cole rants about it as we go to a break.

Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Josh and Booker jump in on commentary. Cole tries to run but Booker throws him back in. Lawler puts him in an airplane spin and wins at 56 seconds. They spent ALL NIGHT building to this and it’s a one move match.

And never mind as the GM changes the decision because of Booker’s interference. Cue Santino who says the only place the GM could be is under the ring. E-mail says no he isn’t. There’s no one under the ring sending e-mails, but Santino thinks that sounds like a clue. Santino goes to find out who it is and he gets pulled to the mat. Jerry helps him….and it’s Hornswoggle under the ring. Horny hits Jerry in the shin and bites Santino, but he kicks Cole too. Tell me he wasn’t the GM the whole time. Please. I need to hear that right now.

Daniel Bryan/Eve Torres vs. AJ/CM Punk

The guys start it off and Punk fires off forearms. Bryan comes back with the kicks in the corner but Punk hits a leg lariat to take him down. AJ tags herself in and that means Eve has to come in too. AJ takes Eve down but Eve comes back. A flipping splash hits AJ’s knees though and AJ pounds Eve down again, followed by a running dropkick to the head. Eve goes to tag Bryan but Bryan drops to the floor. A rollup pins Eve at 3:18.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than the always hot Eve and the psycho AJ. I’m not sure how this builds up to the PPV on Sunday but I guess that’s what the post match stuff is for. Bryan’s actions don’t make much sense but that might just be AJ rubbing off on him. This was barely enough to rate.

Bryan tries to convince AJ to leave with him but Punk says Bryan is trying to use her. Punk says that he doesn’t care what this costs him, but he isn’t going to marry her. At least he cares enough to tell her the truth. AJ looks at him and fights back tears before slapping him in the face. As you would expect, she slaps Bryan too and chants YES to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. They covered a lot of stuff here, but MY GOODNESS there were some big wastes of time here, namely the GM stuff. That very well may have been the worst show long angle in the history of the show, and that’s covering a lot of ground. There was some good build to the PPV, but dang man this was hit and miss all night. Also most of the matches being short didn’t help anything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 2, 2012
Location: Laredo Energy Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re in the second half of the year now with Raw again. We have four MITB contestants so far and there’s a rumor of a fifth showing up. I believe it’ll be a former champion but it’s hard to say given how this company keeps its stipulations straight. Lesnar is supposed to be here tonight too so we’ll get more of him vs. HHH. This is one of those shows that is going to be used to build towards the PPV. Let’s get to it.

After more technical difficulties, here’s Cena to open things up. He talks about how last week was his crash course in MITB because you never know when someone is going to come and break things up. He’ll win the case and the title and all the stuff you would expect him to say. Cue Bryan chanting YES. Cena: “See? Even Bryan agrees with me.” Bryan says he’ll win the title at MITB so Cena won’t be the next champion.

Cue Punk who says he disagrees with Bryan’s claim that he’ll win. He asks people if they disagree with Bryan, getting a lot of YES chants. For some reason only Cena has had theme music so far. Punk says that Bryan’s ex-girlfriend will be counting the shoulders down, and then it’s Punk vs. Cena all over again. Cue Jericho (with music) who says he’s tired of people stealing his catchphrases. Bryan cuts him off and is told to shut up as only Jericho can say it.

Jericho welcomes us to Raw Is Jericho and says that after tonight no one will evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver be the same again. He says he’ll win MITB and dares anyone to come out and say otherwise, and of course he’s Kane. Kane says otherwise in something that made me chuckle. Cue Big Show and it’s a big brawl. Kane beats on Jericho and Cena goes after Big Show while Bryan and Punk are both going to the floor. Kane goes after Big Show but Show knocks everyone down.

David Otunga/Cody Rhodes/Prime Time Players vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth/Christian/Santino Marella

Christiana nd Young start things off and a middle rope missile dropkick gets two for the Canadian. Off to Truth for his first action in months after a broken foot. Young tries a right hand but gets gyrated at instead. Off to Kofi who hits a middle rope shoulder for two. Boom Drop is broken up by Titus who pulls Darren to the floor. Kofi dives onto Titus but gets clotheslined down by Young as everything breaks down.

We take a break and come back with Cody holding Kofi in a surfboard. AW is mic’d up now for some reason. Titus comes in and slams Kofi for two. Kofi gets in a shot and it’s off to Santino vs. Otunga. Santino hits that quick suplex and a Stunner for two. Everything breaks down again and the Prime Time Players walk off. Santino hits his usual and Cody walks out on Otunga. Cue Brodus Clay of all people as Santino loads up the Cobra. Otunga keeps trying to run but gets thrown into the Cobra for the pin at 6:24. Too short to rate given what we saw but this was organized chaos at its best.

Otunga takes a bunch of finishers post match and we get a big dance party.

Teddy (in charge tonight) is dancing in the back when Alberto and Ricardo come in. Alberto earned his one on one title match and he wants it by Jorge. The Board has said that Alberto gets his title match at MITB but tonight, Alberto has a surprise opponent.

Stephanie talks about her dad getting ready for the 99 Rumble. It was basically a Rocky parody mixed with a way to show off that Vince was in great shape.

Alberto Del Rio vs. ???

Cole talks about how the car was driven here from Alberto’s home near Mexico City. That makes me wonder: how does he get these cars everywhere? Does he have a big fleet of people driving/transporting them all over the country? If so….that’s kind of awesome. The fans GO OFF on Alberto with some Spanish swearing. Here’s the opponent.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara

Think Cara is popular in south Texas? Cole calls Mexican wrestlers lucha libres. Mike Tenay he is not. Del Rio jumps Cara as he comes into the ring and goes insane on him. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Del Rio destroys Cara on the floor and puts him in the armbreaker so Cara taps. There was no match.

Bryan is in the back and steals a flower from a random bouquet. He comes up to AJ and apologizes, even though AJ has Punk X’s on his hands. She says that’s sweet and of course has nothing to do with the title match at the PPV. Tonight she’s going to win and run into the arms of her soul mate. She destroys the flower and leaves.

Heyman is live via satellite instead of Lesnar being here.

There’s a 20 man battle royal tomorrow on Smackdown. The winner is next week’s GM of Smackdown. Ok then.

After a recap of the Heyman/HHH challenge to Lesnar, we’re told by Heyman that Brock will deliver his answer to HHH in person at the 1000th Raw. Lesnar wants to face HHH at Summerslam but not for the reasons people thing. HHH will do it because he needs money for the lawsuit. Also, it’s his exit strategy for his career, because after this HHH will never be able to wrestle again. After Summerslam, he can be the executive that everyone says went down in a blaze of glory.

Kane vs. Big Show later on in a No DQ match. Heaven help me.

Vickie Guerrero/Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus/AJ

This looks odd on paper but when you think about it all of the connections are there. The guys start us off after Sheamus puts AJ on the apron. Dolph dropkicks him down but gets launched into the air soon thereafter. A running ax handle gets two for the champ but Dolph takes him down into a chinlock. Sheamus breaks that up and hits White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but Dolph tags Vickie before it can hit. Sheamus kicks his head off to send him to the floor and AJ comes in. Shining Wizard kills Vickie at 3:27.

Rating: C-. This was VERY short but DANG that Shining Wizard was awesome. AJ continues to be insane but it looks like we’re heading up to the payoff at MITB which is the right play. This was barely long enough to grade and I’m not sure what the point was in basically destroying Ziggler like that. Still though, that Shining Wizard was awesome.

AJ does the YES chant and heads to the back. She finds Punk who is on the phone with his sister. He missed the match and AJ is crushed.

We get a video of Slater’s destruction at the hands of old people, leading to this.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

Post match, here’s DDP to a BIG reaction and a Diamond Cutter.

Video on John Cena and Alicia Fox visiting sick/injured troops.

Kane vs. Big Show

This is No DQ. Show controls to start and sends Kane to the floor. He pulls Kane up from the floor BY HIS HEAD, onlyt o knocks Kane back to the floor again. Show misses a charge into the barricade but he throws Kane into the steps to take over. They fight over a chokeslam onto the announce table but Show superkicks him down instead. Show brings a chair in but walks into a DDT for two. The top rope clothesline misses but Kane grabs the chair. Show spears him down and chokeslams Kane onto the chair for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: D+. This was probably the best possible idea for them: keep things short. This wasn’t horrible but I’m not sure what the point of the stipulation was. It came out of nowhere, but to be fair it probably made the match as watchable as it was. These two have never had good chemistry together so keeping it short was probably their best option.

Teddy runs into Eve in the back and she sucks up to him. Teddy gives her a nametag in a funny bit. She rips it up and runs into AJ, telling her to leave the mind games to the big girls and telling AJ to go sit in the corner and cry. AJ wants to know who Eve is going to brown nose next. Eve will do anything to get attention, so AJ says she’ll show everyone how to do just that.

DX invading WCW was a big deal as well. This one actually was.

Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and fires off the headbutts but misses a charge. Kidd rolls him up……AND GETS THE PIN AT 20 SECONDS???? WOW.

Tensai beats up Sakamoto post match.

Jericho and Bryan debate jackets and a catchphrase duel breaks out. YES vs. EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVER is hilarious.

Punk tells Cena to follow his lead out there.

Tensai destroys Kidd in the locker room.

Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk/John Cena

Punk and Bryan start things off. They speed things up of course and Punk takes control. He sends Bryan into the corner and it’s a double tag. Cena dominates Jericho as he is known to do, knocking him off the apron as we take a break. Back with Jericho getting two on Cena and taunting him for not being able to tag Punk. The Lionsault misses but Bryan breaks up the tag again.

The corner dropkick gets two for Bryan and it’s off to Jericho again. The dueling chants begin but Jericho blocks the fisherman’s suplex. The AA is countered into a DDT but Cena fires Jericho into the corner to put both guys down. There’s the diving tag to Punk, who comes in with a springboard clothesline to take over on the fresh Bryan. Powerslam gets two and Bryan gets put in the Vice. Jericho FINALLY makes a save but Cena fights him up the aisle and into the back.

Punk and Bryan are the legal guys left, as well as the only two still in the ring. Bryan moonsaults out of the corner but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. Bryan starts firing off the kicks and a big one to the head gets two. Bryan goes up but gets superplexed down for another two. And here’s AJ to skip around the ring. No one looks at her so she gets on the apron as Bryan fires off kicks to Punk.

No one looks at her still so she gets down as the guys hit cross bodies at the same time. AJ goes under the ring and pulls out….a table? She sets it up at ringside and very slowly climbs the steps. AJ goes up top but Bryan gets in front of the table. Punk gets up on the ropes to stop her as well, so she kisses him. Then she shoves him through Bryan through the table and starts a YES chant. The match ends at we’ll say 17:30.

Rating: B. The match was great and while the ending was confusing, it’s certainly intriguing. This certainly keeps things interesting as she still hasn’t picked anyone. She’s the most interesting character in the company right now by far, because in short you don’t know what she (AJ for you idiots out there) is going to do next. Good ending to a good match.

Overall Rating: C. The first hour was similar to having a blind monk with Parkinson’s Disease brand me with an iron while Chinese torture masters ripped out my fingernails. The second hour was better, to the point where I was really getting into things before the show ended. Kidd pulling off that upset was the perfect move as it gives him even more momentum going into the PPV. In short, very good second hour, pretty bad first hour.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 25, 2012
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight should be an eventful night. Jericho is back tonight and we should begin the build to the ladder matches. From what I understand we’re going to have specified title ladder matches instead of brand ones, meaning that the brands will mix even further. So far all we have is Big Show in the Raw Title match so we need to start filling in some of those spots. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the AJ saga and dang she is cute.

We go live and AJ is talking to all three of the guys she’s involved with, although we can’t see any of them. She tells “Daniel” that they need to drift apart. When she sees Kane she wants to get wild, but Kane is a monster instead of a man. She thinks of herself and Punk as soul mates but it’s best if they go their separate ways. The camera pans around to show she’s looking in a mirror.

Theme song.

Brodus vs. Show tonight.

Here’s Vickie because she’s in charge tonight. She thinks she’ll become GM on the 1000th episode of Raw. Here’s the first match.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane vs. CM Punk

This is under elimination rules but I think it’s non-title. Kane takes them both down to start but Bryan goes for his leg. They double team the monster just like at the PPV and send him to the floor, only for Bryan to grab a rollup for two on Punk. Punk hooks a kind of curb stomp for two and knocks Kane back to the floor. The suicide dive meets an uppercut and AJ is watching in the back. Bryan dives into Kane and is rammed into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Kane in control but the small guys double team him. That goes nowhere as Punk plays Animal to Kane’s Hawk, but the clothesline misses as Bryan rolls up Punk for two. They suplex Kane down and speed things up, doing their usual strike off. Kane charges over the top and Bryan gets launched on top of him. Punk dives onto both of them and heads back in. Punk dives into a YES Lock attempt but he rolls out of it. The high kick gets two on Bryan who gets his foot on the ropes.

He loads up the GTS but Kane kicks him down for two. Side slam gets the same. There’s the top rope clothesline and Kane loads up the chokeslam, but here’s AJ to skip around the ring. Chokeslam is countered and there’s the GTS to eliminated the big fried freak. Bryan comes in and kicks Punk in the head to win it at 10:10.

Rating: C+. I like this pairing and AJ made things even better as usual, so I’m fine with this as the opener. Kane is still the wildcard in this so it’s hard to say where things will wind up, but it looks like they’re going with Punk vs. Bryan III or IV or whatever they’re at. That’s cool with me as their previous matches have been awesome.

Alberto comes in to see Vickie and has Ricardo present her with roses. Del Rio says he’s #1 contender but Ziggler comes in and says he’s #1 contender. Vickie makes a match between them and it’s a contract on a pole for the title shot on Smackdown. Ziggler breaks the vase and flowers.

Brodus Clay vs. Big Show

Brodus jumps Show to start and hits the headbutt to the chest, but Show goes after the bad knee to take over. The knee gets wrapped around the post and there’s a Vader Bomb. Brodus fights back but Show falls on his slam attempt, giving Big Show the first win over Brodus at 2:35. I tell you, this Big Show kid is going places you hear?

Video on Cena’s 300^th wish being granted.

Another Raw moment is Bob Barker on Raw.

During the break Big Show knocked Brodus out. Brodus is going to be gone for awhile I’d bet.

We get the HHH challenge to Brock from the PPV as well as the reaction from Heyman from last week. Brock will answer HHH next week.

AJ hits on Kane some more. Kane says she makes him feel things. That’s not good either because he isn’t boyfriend material. He thinks she’s crazy and says they need to stay away from each other. AJ laughs and cries at the same time.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

This is the first defense on Raw for Santino since April 16. Swagger runs away from the Cobra and slams Santino down for two. A legdrop sets up an armbar but Santino gets fired up again. Santino comes back with the usual and loads up the Cobra. Swagger picks him up but gets caught in a DDT. The Cobra retains at 2:39.

Cena finds a Johnny Ace shirt in a donation bin but Ryder throws it in the trash.

Here’s Cena for his major announcement. For the past month the company has been turned upside down to the point where it’s been like a bad Star Wars movie. Cena talks about the last month in Star Wars terms, such as Darth Show, Han Soul-Bro, the R2-A-RI and Cena Skywalker. That wasn’t bad. Apparently winning the match was easier than bullseyeing womp rats back in Beggar’s Canyon.

He goes to make the announcement….and here’s Jericho. We see Fozzy performing in Europe which is the explanation for his absence. Jericho says get on with your announcement because tonight is Jericho’s night. Cena says Jericho is back and makes the announcement that he’ll be in the MITB ladder match for the Raw World Title. He’s doing it so that Show won’t win the title. Cena says he’ll win the whole fudging thing, resulting in an argument over the show being PG.

Jericho doesn’t like the idea of Cena thinking he can walk into MITB and win in the first try. Jericho invented the match and has been in three of them, with Cena pointing out that he’s never actually won one. If Cena is looking for fun, go in a Bouncy House. Jericho enters as well, and here’s Vickie. She says there are two MITB matches and no one can place themselves in them. I guess Big Show gets grandfathered in?

Jericho cuts her off and Vickie freaks out. Only former WWE Champions will be in the Raw World Title match: Jericho, Kane, Big Show and Cena. Thank goodness as four people in there is WAY better and easier to work with. She makes Jericho vs. Cena for the main event.

Heath Slater vs. Psycho Sid

Sid slaps him down to start and slaps him off the top rope. A BAD looking spinebuster puts Slater down so Heath works on the knee a bit. Sid shrugs that off and hits a legdrop followed by the powerbomb for the pin at 1:29. Sid is no Vader.

Someone will be tweeting about Raw during the 1000th episode and they’re a celebrity. WWE.com says it’s….Charlie Sheen?

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Contract on a pole, winner gets Sheamus on Smackdown. Del Rio pulls him down off the pole to start and Ziggler does the same to him. Del Rio climbs the corner but Ziggler climbs Del Rio, only to get caught in a Samoan Drop from the middle rope. They both go up again and the contract winds up on the mat. You have to control the contract and it becomes a game of who can get possession of it first. Both guys and the contract is down and Ricardo goes for it, only to have Ziggler kick it to the floor.

They tumble to the other side of the ring and here’s Sheamus to say it’ll be a triple threat match for the title. So the match is just kind of thrown out I guess, meaning no rating as I have no idea when it ended, but Sheamus came out after maybe 3:30 or so.

Punk vs. Bryan for the title is official for MITB.

AJ comes up to see Punk (AJ: “Guess who?” Punk: “King Kong Bundy?”) and suggests they go out after the show. Punk wants to have a talk with her but AJ misinterprets his meaning.

Another Raw Moment: This Is Your Life Rock.

Divas Battle Royal

They’re all in bikinis and Vickie enters it as well. You can go through the ropes to be eliminated here. It says a lot that I have no idea who half of these girls are. Everyone goes after Vickie to start and it’s a big brawl. Someone goes out and the announcers don’t bother to say who it is. Aksana is out and it’s your usual mess. Alicia and Kaitlyn are out as is Rosa. Beth puts out Tamina and accidentally knocks out Natalya. Layla puts out Beth so we have AJ, Layla and Vickie. AJ knocks out Layla with some help from Beth and Vickie tries to throw out La Psycho. AJ goes off and eliminates her to win at 2:13. This was AWFUL.

AJ does Bryan’s YES chant post match.

Smackdown is live next Tuesday and it’s the Great American Bash.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho bails from an AA attempt as we take a break. Back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock but getting dropkicked down for two. Cena hits a suplex to put Jericho down but he lowers his head for a boot to the face. Off to a chinlock but Cena escapes and this the spinning mat slam. Walls and AA are countered into the ProtoBomb and the Shuffle….but here’s Big Show. AA is countered into the Walls but Show drops the leg on Cena for the DQ at 8:18.

Rating: D+. You know, if Jericho had actually beaten Cena more than once in ten years (it’ll be ten years since he beat him one on one a week from today), I might actually buy him as a threat here. That isn’t the case though, so I didn’t particularly care about this match at all. Big Show running in helped a bit but the match was just there to fill in five minutes of TV time.

Overall Rating: C. The more I watch WWE TV lately, the more it becomes clear that they have NO idea where they’re going with AJ’s story. It’s entertaining so far, but man they’re starting to go in circles with it. The show wasn’t boring tonight but there were some very bad parts, such as the pole match being thrown out because Sheamus was apparently told it was a tie. Vickie is good at what she does and is still beyond annoying, but I wouldn’t want her around every week as GM. Decent show but with some BIG holes this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2000
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 13,253
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This is another request that I don’t remember the reason behind. This is right around the Rumble so I’d bet on there being a lot of hype for the show. We’re in a good time for the company as 2000 is probably the best year the company has ever had, which is saying a lot as they had some solid years around this point. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.

The opening video is from Raw with Rock demanding that HHH and Stephanie reinstate Mick Foley before the entire roster walks out. Rock also demanded an eight man tag with DX vs. the Acolytes and Rock N Sock Connection. DX walked out on HHH for some reason and Foley got Pedigreed through the table and in the ring for the pin. Mankind came back and beat HHH up anyway.

Cue HHH and Stephanie to open the show. Stephanie says she wants to clear something up: no Superstars are leaving this company because the two of them have righted the wrongs. Why would anyone ever want to leave? Their doors are always open and they’re always fair. Stephanie says she’s the ONLY McMahon running things in this company.

HHH says that he needs to get something off his chest. He needs to apologize, but it’s not to the fans or to the guys that were going to walk out on Monday. HHH is their world champion and it’s for the fans. He will however apologize to DX. HHH talks about trying to show DX tough love and getting tough love in exchange when they walked out on him.

He wants to right the wrongs tonight, so it’s the Outlaws vs. Bradshaw in a No DQ handicap match. If Farrooq interferes, the Acolytes lose their title shot at the Rumble. The Outlaws get to have the same match with Farrooq too. As for X-Pac, tonight he’s teaming up with HHH to face Big Show and The Rock. As for Mick Foley, on Monday he was left in a puddle of blood. That’s just a taste of what’s coming at the Rumble in New York City. HHH has nothing to do right now, so get out here Foley.

Here’s Foley but it’s a fake. The fake one kneels before HHH and begs for mercy until the real Mankind comes out. He talks about how HHH has tried to take away his job and his dignity, but then on Monday he took away the best night of his career. HHH bloodied him and ruined his shirt. On Monday as the cool water of the shower hit him, he realized that Mankind may be entertaining and a good author, he’s not ready to face HHH in a street fight at the Royal Rumble.

However, the fans deserve a replacement, and that replacement is here tonight. Foley takes off the mask and rips open his shirt, revealing the Cactus Jack WANTED DEAD shirt. Cactus says that his first official act as a part of the WWF is kicking HHH’s teeth all over Chicago. He pounds HHH down in the corner (in what I believe Foley called the best punches he ever threw) and shrugs off a chair shot from the Fake Foley. HHH bails as the other one gets beaten up. Cactus says he’ll bleed at the Rumble but he’s going to beat HHH all over New York City and take the WWF Title from him. AWESOME segment here.

New Age Outlaws vs. Bradshaw

Road Dogg runs down the fans for not getting the catchphrase right. Bradshaw throws powder at the Outlaws who amazingly don’t snort it. Billy gets thrown into the steps and Billy is clotheslined to the floor. Bradshaw puts the steps in the ring and sets up a piledriver to Billy on said steps but Road Dogg saves with a chair shot. The double beating goes on until Bradshaw fights back in vain. Bradshaw kicks the chair into Roadie’s face but as he goes to slam Billy, Road Dogg chairs him in the head with Billy falling on top for the pin.

Here’s Rock in the back who welcomes this new guy named Jonathan Coachman to the WWF. Coach says he’s called Coach which Rock doesn’t like. Rock says it doesn’t matter if he’s teaming with Big Show or Big Bird, he’ll win. It doesn’t matter how Coach got the name Coach and that’s about it.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Al Snow

This was during Snow’s questionable heel turn phase. Hardcore and Grandmaster start us off and Holly is taken over by a hip toss. Off to Crash who gets the same treatment. Scotty comes in and things speed up. A kind of pumphandle slam puts Crash down and it’s Worm time. Snow pulls Scotty to the floor and Hardcore takes over on him. The former racecar dude jumps into a boot and it’s hot tag Rikishi. A one man 3D kills Crash but Hardcore dropkicks him down. Snow gets crotched on the post as the Rikishi Driver ends Crash.

Rating: D+. Not much here but the fans popped big for Rikishi and his dancing pals. For the life of me I don’t get the point of making him a heel. I mean…..why would anyone do that? The match was nothing of note but it filled in about five minutes which is the right idea I guess. Nothing much to see here though.

Snow beats up the Hollies with Head. Too Cool and Rikishi dance.

HHH congratulates the Outlaws but they don’t know where X-Pac is.

Clip of Cactus Jack in Japan being all psycho. Good thing they had this ready just in case he transformed isn’t it?

Test vs. Gangrel

Test has a broken nose or something like that coming in here. He starts off fast but walks into a belly to belly. Test gets sent to the floor where Luna attacks. Back in and Gangrel gets crushed by the gutwrench powerbomb but Luna distracts referee Teddy Long. There’s the full nelson slam but Luna pulls the referee to the floor and decks him. She jumps on Test and gets spanked for her efforts. The match is thrown out and that’s probably a good thing.

Test beats up both of them post match.

Jericho and Chyna are in the back and try to make up after losing in a tag match on Monday.

Hardy Boys vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert

This is before Lita joined the team so it’s Terri with them here. Albert is currently known as Tensai. He and Jeff get us going with Jeff having to evade a lot. Off to Matt for some successful double teaming on the current Japanese enthusiast. Albert gets Matt up for a spinning rack neckbreaker and it’s off to Bossman. He beats Matt down even more and kidnaps Terri which goes nowhere. Everything breaks down and Jeff avoids a charging Albert, sending him into Bossman. Albert and Bossman had been arguing a lot lately so while they fight some more, Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Alberto and rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here really but it was all about splitting up Albert and Bossman for good, which needed to be done. Bossman would do nothing of note while Albert would join T&A which gave us some very hot shots of Trish Stratus. The match was nothing of note though and was just there as a means to an end.

Big Show wants to face HHH but says he doesn’t like being called a jabroni by Rock. Maybe he’ll win the Rumble instead of Rock.

Chyna goes up to Tori (not Wilson) and has bad news for her. I guess we’ll get more on that later.

Kurt Angle/Steve Blackman vs. Edge/Christian

Angle is VERY new here, having about three months under his belt at this point. Edge and Blackman get us going with Edge dominating through a lot of dropkicks. Off to Christian vs. Angle with the Olympian getting run over. Christian misses a charge and runs into the post to give the cannon fodder control. It’s so weird to see Angle as a rookie like this and the lowest level guy as far as accomplishments go. Angle hooks a quick chinlock but the Angle Slam is countered into a DDT by Christian. Blackman fires off some kicks to Edge….and here’s Val Venis. He plays with Blackman’s kendo stick so Edge can hit a German for the pin.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of this was as I don’t remember Blackman vs. Val at all and I have no idea why this would have been a feud at all. Angle would become the first big star out of this with Edge close behind him and again it’s weird to see something like this with both of them being lower midcard guys. The match was nothing.

Chyna is talking to Tori in the back still and says that Jericho is crossing a line. He’s been looking at Tori apparently and maybe Kane, Tori’s boyfriend, should kill Jericho as long as it’s not for the co-owned IC Title that Jericho and Chyna share. Tori freaks out and agrees.

Clip of Cactus diving into a dumpster and getting shoved off the stage.

New Age Outlaws vs. Farrooq

Farrooq jumps them both to start but the numbers catch up with him quickly. Billy hits a Jackhammer and the shaky knee gets the pin with Billy helping out. This wasn’t even 90 seconds.

Bradshaw runs out with a pipe for the save.

DX is still looking for X-Pac.

D’Lo Brown/Godfather vs. Headbangers

What is with all the tag matches tonight? An orange logo pops up on screen with a 13 in the middle and says the mood is about to change. That would wind up being Taz. Godfather asks if the Headbangers are gay but Mosh says Godfather’s problem is that they look better than his ladies. Mosh and Brown get us going but both quickly tag. Godfather runs Thrasher over and hits the spinning legdrop. Brown comes back in for a double suplex The Bangers double team D’Lo but since they don’t recognize, it’s quickly back to Godfather for the Ho Train. Low Down gets the quick pin. This was basically a squash.

Big Show and Rock are in the back and Big Show doesn’t want Rock in his way tonight. Rock says Big Show is a worthy opponent but he’ll never be People’s Champion. HHH can have the back of his hand while X-Pac has the front during the beatdown tonight. Rock is just CRAZY over here.

More Classic Cactus shows him winning a random hardcore match over Mideon and Viscera.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Pre-match Jericho runs his mouth of course, saying that he doesn’t find Tori attractive and you’d have to be stupid to do so. The beating begins as Chyna is watching in the back with a big smile on her face. Kane grabs him to start but Jericho comes back with the forearm….which does nothing at all. A powerbomb puts the Canadian down and a shoulder sends Jericho to the floor.

Kane mixes it up and tries a clothesline off the steps but Jericho ducks. They go to the apron with Jericho dropkicking Kane to the floor. Jericho finally gets a breather by hitting a drop toehold onto the steps. Back in the missile dropkick looks to set up the Walls but the Kat (Chyna’s implied lesbian worship slave) comes out to steal the IC belt. The distraction lets the chokeslam and tombstone get the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing here but these two had some chemistry together at times. The co-champions angle didn’t really work but it was certainly a unique idea. Kane would move on to feud with X-Pac over Tori while Jericho would have crazy good matches with Angle and Benoit for like ever.

X-Pac is here, making the whole “where is he” stuff from earlier mean nothing. Pac isn’t worried about tonight but doesn’t like having to get beaten up every week. HHH says trust him.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Big Show/The Rock

HHH tries to drive a wedge between his opponents by saying Rock has to come out last to get the big pop because of his ego. Big Show looks mad before starting with HHH. Show pounds him down and hits a headbutt before stomping away in the corner. He refuses to tag Rock so when he calls for the chokeslam, Rock tags himself in. Off to Pac and Rock destroys him, throwing him to the outside. Spinebuster to HHH looks to set up the Elbow but Pac hits him in the back with a chair.

Pac comes in but the Bronco Buster is killed by a clothesline. Rock takes a spinwheel kick for two and it’s back to HHH. DX tags off a few times until HHH walks into a DDT. Rock crawls over to Big Show but the big man walks out on him, officially turning heel. A low blow and Pedigree get the pin on Rock.

Rating: D+. Nothing much to see here as this was much more about the angle than the match. Rock vs. HHH would obviously be a bigger deal later on in the year and would go on to produce one of the best feuds of all time. Big Show would turn face again just after Wrestlemania. That guy must hold a record for most turns.

Post match Big Show chokeslams Rock to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst show ever but it had an excellent opener to start things off. The Rumble would wind up being awesome and almost everything here touched on matches there other than Hardys vs. Dudleys but I can live with that. The opening segment is legendary and it is for a reason, as it worked perfectly. Not a good show for the most part but it had its moments.

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