IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: September 9, 2004
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re coming off last week’s huge pay per view style main event when Kurt Angle won the third match in the series against Eddie Guerrero, which will end their rivalry completely forever. The next pay per view will likely start its build tonight, which should make for some more important shows. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Theodore Long says last week didn’t answer anything because Luther Reigns got involved. Therefore tonight we’ll be seeing Angle vs. Eddie one more time in a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

Non-title, Haas is the Oklahoma boy, and Orlando Jordan and Jackie Gayda are at ringside. Charlie takes him down with a drop toehold into a headlock and it’s time to work on the leg. JBL grabs a rope and since his leg wasn’t pulled that much, it’s a big boot to drop Haas in a hurry. Some forearms cut Haas down again but the Clothesline From JBL is cut off with a dropkick. A spinning ax handle gets two and you can feel the air going out of the arena on the kickout. Haas hits a t-bone but Orlando Jordan goes after Jackie, distracting Haas enough for the Clothesline to connect for the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s all it needed to be as Haas isn’t on JBL’s level and losing to him isn’t going to hurt him. Haas’ comeback had some energy to it and he has just enough credibility to make something like this work. Not a terrible match here either and acceptable for a quick opener.

Post match JBL, after being reminded where we are, gives us a stock tip: invest in him, because the country is a better place with him as champion. Crime is down, the economy is up, and the USA’s Olympic teams have been very successful. That brings him back to Eddie, but first we need to get one of those JBL chants going. He’s beaten everyone put in front of him to retain the title (all two of them), with the Undertaker being his greatest accomplishment.

Since Undertaker failed, there will be no more title shots. What he’ll do though is give Undertaker a funeral in two weeks. A hearse comes out and JBL says Rest In Peace….but here’s Long to interrupt. He doesn’t like what JBL has said, so we’ll deal with that at No Mercy in a Last Ride (casket but with a hearse) Match. JBL’s panicked response is funny.

Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Billy Kidman vs. Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree

Suzuki and Dupree are challenging and London has a banged up shoulder after Heidenreich’s attack last week. Hiroko is out with the challengers and you can almost guarantee the interference from here. London slides between Dupree’s legs to start and snaps off a hurricanrana to take over. It’s off to Kidman, who walks into an assisted hot shot to put the champs in trouble. Kenzo comes in and gets to show off with an armbar but Kidman fights up and dives over for the tag….which the referee doesn’t see.

The champs come in instead and start cleaning house with an enziguri dropping Kenzo. Kidman still can’t do the shooting star though, instead dropping down and tagging London. That seems to be enough for Kidman, as he walks out on the match. Back from a break with Dupree working on the bad arm (the right one for an odd visual) as the fans chant USA. London manages to kick Suzuki to the floor, where he low bridges him outside as well (in a heck of a bump). The bad arm is sent into the post, setting up a Michinoku Driver from Dupree. Kenzo’s claw legsweep gives us new champions.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match but it gives us Dupree and Suzuki as champions. Kidman and London were running uphill the entire time they held the titles and this didn’t exactly help things. There’s barely a division at this point and two midcard heels have been thrown together to win the titles from a thrown together cruiserweight team. Not a very good match, but it wasn’t exactly supposed to be.

Big Show is coming back.

London is having his shoulder checked but goes over to Kidman, who doesn’t seem to care about the title loss. Kidman stares at him but has nothing to say before leaving.

Booker T. is leaving but runs into Long, saying he has to go train for his match with John Cena next week. Actually not so fast because he’ll be a lumberjack tonight.

Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title with Bubba and D-Von in Spike’s corner. Spike jumps him from behind to start but Rey fires off some right hands and forearms. Rey’s spinning springboard crossbody connects (with Spike having to run over to get into position) and it’s 619 time but the Dudleys come in. Before it gets bad, Hardcore Holly runs in for the save, only to get beaten down as well. Rob Van Dam runs in as well and the good guys clean house as the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Spike Dudley/Dudley Boyz vs. Rey Mysterio/Hardcore Holly/Rob Van Dam

There’s no opening bell as Van Dam kicks D-Von in the face for an early two. The middle rope kick to the face is good for the same but D-Von gets in a neckbreaker to take over. Bubba adds one of his own, setting up Spike’s top rope double stomp. The rib work continues with the reverse chinlock from D-Von, followed by a jumping back elbow for two.

Spike gets kicked in the chest though and the hot tag brings in Holly, because when you think high energy, you think Sparky Plugg. Everything breaks down and Rey (that’s more like it) comes in with a springboard seated senton for two. Rob kicks Bubba and D-Von down, setting up the Five Star on Bubba. There’s no cover though, leaving Holly to hit the Alabama Slam on Spike. Rey Drops the Dime for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here, likely setting up Spike’s title defense against Mysterio at No Mercy. It’s not the worst idea in the world, though Holly being there felt rather out of place. I know Gunn is gone, but did they really not have anything better for Holly to do? Not terrible, but just a means to an end and that’s acceptable.

Kurt Angle says there is no controversy because he won last week. Josh Matthews would know that if he kept his record book on him!

Here’s John Cena for a chat, likely in rhyme. Cena talks about his back being against the wall, but it’s because Booker has been cheating. We get a Stevie Ray reference to set up the usual barrage of gay jokes. They can be amusing, but they feel cringe worthy at this point.

The Tough Enough deadline has been extended. That’s awesome.

We recap last week’s 2/3 falls match.

Carlito is still coming and kicks over a kid’s sandcastle on the way.

Paul Heyman tells Long that Heidenreich isn’t here tonight because he’s been given the night off. That’s fine with Long, as Heyman can wrestle a match instead. It can be against a ring announcer, sending Heyman into a panic at the idea of fighting Tazz. Long says it’s not Tazz, so Heyman goes into a rant about Cole. This actually prompts Cole to say he can take Heyman out just like that. Heyman comes to the arena….and it’s a swerve.

Funaki vs. Paul Heyman

Well it’s a better idea….and it doesn’t happen as Heidenreich comes in and wrecks Funaki before the bell ever rings. Heyman covers and counts his own pin.

Heidenreich chases Cole off and I’m scared of where this is going.

Smackdown Throwback: Vince, Rikishi and a thong.

Raw Rundown.

Cole is terrified but agrees to come back to the desk.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Lumberjack match, with the usual suspects around the ring. They all get their own introductions to fill in a good chunk of the time we have left. Feeling out process to start with Eddie hitting an early dropkick, followed by a clothesline to send Angle outside. It’s on the villain side though and Angle is sent back inside without any issue. A backdrop puts Eddie in trouble and some right hands keep him that way.

Eddie is right back with right hands of his own, followed by another dropkick to put Angle on the good side. That means a failed escape attempt as they really haven’t gotten out of first gear so far. Just to mix things up a bit, Angle sends Eddie outside onto the heel side but since the referee is watching, nothing happens. Eddie comes up swinging anyway and gets back inside as we take a break.

Back with Angle getting two off a backbreaker and slapping on the abdominal stretch. The reverse chinlock goes on for a bit until Eddie suplexes his way to freedom. This time Eddie gets sent outside on the good side, where they’re nice enough to throw him inside for another suplex. Eddie dances back up though and the Three Amigos connect.

The referee checks on Angle for no logical reason, allowing Luther Reigns to crotch Eddie on top. That means a heck of a top rope superplex for a delayed two but Eddie slips out of the Angle Slam and grabs the ankle lock. The lumberjacks finally erupt….and here’s the Big Show to go after everyone as I’m assuming the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. It’s hard to argue against Angle vs. Eddie but there’s only so much you can do when a majority of the match is spent on having both guys thrown outside for the usual lumberjack shenanigans. Big Show returning here is acceptable as a way to get out of the ending, but they already had a screwy finish last week. Show being back is important, though I’m not exactly thrilled at the idea of another Show push.

House is cleaned inside and outside as no one can do a thing to Show. Chokeslams crush Eddie and Angle, followed by one more to Reigns to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. While nothing was all that great on here, it was a good showcase of everything Smackdown had going on with a bunch of different stories getting some TV time. You can see a lot of No Mercy from here and that’s good with less than a month to go. The show was a really easy hour and a half to watch and I’ll gladly take that right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: July 8, 2004
Location: Winnipeg Arena, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s title night around here as John Cena is defending the US Title against Booker T., who earned his shot at the title by winning a triple threat match last week. Other than that it’s time to build things up for next week when JBL defends the Smackdown World Title against Eddie Guerrero. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Jindrak

Rene Dupree is on commentary. I had forgotten Jindrak is a thing, though he’s now called the Reflection of Perfection, meaning he has Lex Luger’s mirror in the ring. He and Teddy Long have also split, but it’s described as amicable. Jindrak knocks him to the floor at the bell and the beating is on in a hurry with some rams into the barricade. Back in and the choking continues with Jindrak nipping up to show off a bit.

Rob tries to go up top but Jindrak hits an awesome looking standing dropkick (at one point Jindrak had the highest vertical leap in WWE history) to knock him into the barricade. The reverse chinlock with a knee in the back has Van Dam in more trouble but Rob comes back with a kick to the face. Rob’s rolling monkey flip out of the corner sets up another kick to the face but Rolling Thunder hits knees. A belly to back superplex is broken up though and Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Jindrak was an amazing athlete and could jump like few others but everything between those jumps didn’t work so well. At least he’s a fresh name though as we haven’t see him do anything in recent months. That’s better than having Van Dam and Dupree fight each other time after time and a lesson that WWE could learn a lot from today.

We look back at JBL defending the World Title against Spike Dudley last week and Eddie Guerrero coming in for the post match beatdown. Eddie announced a cage match for the title two weeks later. Good ending after a dull match.

JBL talks about how much better a champion he is because Eddie didn’t offer handshakes or come to Canada while he held the title. Eddie is no gentleman and he probably didn’t even graduate from high school. JBL isn’t worried because he’s a champion’s champion and a man’s man who doesn’t belong in a cage. The growing JBL fan club will carry him through though and he can hear the chants starting from here. Tonight, he’s facing El Gran Luchadore, the champion of Mexico, who he’s fought before and comes in to see him here (looks to be Shannon Moore this time around). This time, it’s going to be a massacre.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Billy Kidman vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are defending and this is a rematch from Velocity where the champs had to get themselves disqualified to save the titles. It’s a brawl to start with London hitting a top rope missile dropkick, followed by an assisted moonsault for two on D-Von. London unloads with right hands until Bubba low bridges him out to the floor. Back in and D-Von hits a Hennig neck snap of all things and it’s Bubba coming in to stay on the neck.

Actually make that the knee as Bubba finally takes notice of the big brace. D-Von comes back in to grab the foot and….really that’s about it. He doesn’t twist on it or anything and is really just putting his hands on the foot. Bubba adds the apron legdrop and it’s a reverse chinlock to keep D-Von in control.

The middle rope headbutt misses though and there’s the hot tag to Kidman, in full accordance with the tag team formula. Everything breaks down and it’s D-Von and London being sent to the floor. What would have been the longest What’s Up ever is broken up so Kidman rolls through and lets London hit it on Bubba instead. London’s superkick sets up the shooting star press to give Kidman the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The title change is quite the surprise but the big deal here is how fast the Dudleys fell. They went from main eventing a pay per view to losing the titles completely clean here in about two weeks. That’s an incredible collapse and really, something that needed to happen. Amazingly enough, that would be the team’s last title reign in WWE. It’s almost hard to believe that they never did it again but they would be gone in a few months and then left for about ten years. Quite the low key ending to their title years.

Post break the celebration is on, complete with champagne and congratulations from Billy Gunn. Well now it’s certainly a big deal. The Dudleys come in and shake their hands and no violence ensues.

Kenzo Suzuki has Hiroko translate a promo for him. He doesn’t like what John Cena has been saying about him lately and wants revenge. Kenzo is misunderstood and has great respect for America because it’s the land of opportunity. Kenzo: “God bless of America!”

US Title: John Cena vs. Booker T.

Cena is defending but before the match he needs to remind us that the champ is here in Manitoba. Booker isn’t getting the title back tonight because Cena is five times better and has five times the groupies. Cena isn’t losing to a Whoopi Goldberg lookalike, which is a line that the fans rather like. Cue Kenzo Suzuki for a fight but Cena beats him down with ease. With Suzuki down on the floor, Luther Reigns comes in and lays Cena out with the reverse swinging neckbreaker. I guess the match will be taking place later, because Kurt Angle will send his goon in to lay Cena out, but he’s fair about things.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. El Gran Luchadore

Non-title and JBL makes sure to shake hands on the way to the ring. It’s such a relief to have this new “I love you people” gimmick than what we were getting before he won the title. It’s still bad, but it’s not insufferably bad and that’s a step up. Hang on though as JBL needs to sanitize his hands. That’s very important in a foreign company. Luchadore rolls away to start but gets caught with a right hand to the mask.

Back up and Luchadore poses a bit too much, earning himself another knockdown. A running dropkick has JBL in trouble and a moonsault press gets two. JBL has had it with this and sends him outside so the real beating can begin. The huge clothesline drops Luchadore and there’s a second one to make it even worse as the fans chant for Eddie. Luchadore gets tied in the Tree of Woe with JBL ripping at his face for painful measure. A belly to back superplex makes things even worse and JBL kicks him out to the floor.

Cue a second El Gran Luchadore from underneath the ring to throw JBL outside and leave a banana peel on the mat before hiding again. The referee is so confused that the Luchadores are able to switch and the Eddie Guerrero dance might give you a clue as to what’s going on (in case you’re REALLY slow). Three Amigos (Cole: “That’s Mexican!”) have JBL bailing to the floor and it’s a countout as Luchadore says there’s no running next week.

Rating: D+. This was an entertaining squash until the angle, which went on a little longer than it needed to. JBL not taking a pin is a good idea as he doesn’t have the highest standing in the world at the moment and having him get beaten so soon would have been a bad idea. Not as bad of an idea as making him champion in the first place, but a bad idea nonetheless.

Luchadore says play Eddie’s music because they’re close.

Booker says he’ll win the title because he’s better than Cena. That’s about as to the point as you can get.

Raw Rebound.

Rey Mysterio, Scotty 2 Hotty and Spike Dudley are ready for their six man tonight when Bubba and D-Von come in to talk to their cousin. Scotty and Rey leave and advise Spike to help defend the family name tonight because he already let them down last week. Spike says he didn’t want their advice last week when they were champions. Why would he want it now? Sick little burn there.

Rey Mysterio/Scotty 2 Hotty/Spike Dudley vs. Chavo Guerrero/Akio/Jamie Noble

What a random match. Akio and Rey start things off with Akio taking him down in short order, allowing Chavo to come in and stomp away. The chinlock goes on Noble throws Rey into the hands in front of Chavo’s raised boot but Rey snaps off an armdrag. Scotty tries to come in and the distraction…lets Rey beat up Chavo and Noble at the same time without too much effort. Why does Rey need partners in the first place?

It’s off to Scotty to clean house and everything breaks down. Spike drops a top rope double stomp to the ribs and stomps on Chavo in the corner. The Dudley Dog gets two on Noble with Chavo making a quick save. That earns Chavo the Worm but Akio knocks Scotty outside. Chavo ducks the 619 so Rey catapults him outside, setting up a top rope Asai moonsault onto Chavo and Akio. Back in and Noble tiger drives the heck out of Spike for the pin. Like I said: Rey didn’t need partners.

Rating: B-. This was a heck of a fun little match with all six guys going out there and getting in everything they could in a little bit of time. Mysterio needs a fresh challenger though and it would make sense to have Noble (or anyone for that matter) come after the title. They could have had something special with more time, but what we got was quite good.

Paul Heyman doesn’t care about the Dudleys losing the Tag Team Titles because he has to worry about the Undertaker. Fair point actually. Heyman needs to say something to Undertaker and he’ll do it in the ring tonight.

We look back at last week’s completely unshocking moment with Undertaker announcing that with Paul Bearer gone, he’s going to destroy Paul Heyman.

Speaking of Heyman, he’s in the ring, with the Urn, to address Undertaker. He pulls out a statement, which says that everything that happened to Bearer was the Dudleys’ fault. Then the Dudleys got what they deserved so now Heyman wants to make a peace offering: the return of the Urn. Near tears, Heyman gets down on his knees and begs for a pass, rather than begging for forgiveness. No one is backing him up out here and he’s a little lamb lost in the wilderness, begging the reaper to pass on by. If Undertaker lets him live, Heyman will cross his path no more. And that’s it as I guess we’ll get to that later.

US Title: John Cena vs. Booker T.

The banged up Cena is defending. Hang on though as here’s Kurt Angle, still in a wheelchair but now carrying a cane. The distraction lets Booker get in a cheap shot and the beating is on in a hurry. A superkick gets two and it’s off to a top wristlock instead of staying on the bad neck. Cena starts the early comeback with a powerslam and hip toss for two each, followed by the Shuffle for two more.

The FU is blocked with the grab of the rope and Booker dumps him. Angle gets to his feet for the first time in months and limps over to Cena for a cane shot (breaking the cane) to the back. We take a break and come back with Booker dropping a knee and grabbing the chinlock. What a change of pace to coming back to the chinlock. Totally different you see. Cena fights up like a good guy fighting out of a chinlock but walks into a spinebuster.

The jumping kick to the face gets a delayed two and it’s right back to the chinlock. Cena kicks out of three straight covers and, you know it, back to the chinlock again. Back up yet again and Cena grabs a DDT for two of his own. Booker’s snap suplex gets the same and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor. Cena isn’t done and clotheslines Booker into Angle. Back in and Cena hits the FU but Reigns comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Quite the slog of a match here with Booker using a ton of chinlocks and Cena’s neck injury not having much to do with the match. With Booker jumping Cena from behind, you could have written the Reigns attack from earlier out entirely and not changed a thing. These two should be capable of so much more and that’s kind of a shame given how the match had been set up.

Post match Reigns beats Cena down but Angle says bring the title with him. Cena causing Angle to be knocked over is enough for him to be stripped of the US Title. Angle is very happy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a very good show here with the six man tag being the only really strong part. The Eddie/JBL segment did its job but took too long to make it work as well as it should have. Other than that, the show was pretty mediocre at best and that’s not enough to make a full show work. That being said, I’ll take this over the horrible shows they were putting on just a few months ago any day.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Vengeance 2003
Date: July 27, 2003
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is the first ever Smackdown exclusive pay per view and for once I’m actually looking forward to it. They’ve done a much better job than usual of setting things up and there are multiple matches that could do quite well. The main event is Big Show vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar for Brock’s Smackdown World Title, but there’s also some major focus on Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen for reasons of testing my patience. Let’s get to it.

We open with people talking about working their whole lives to get here. Big names too, like Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, and Stephanie McMahon. Vince then narrates a video, ranting about how this is his company and no one is going to get the better of him. I’d rather hear more about how hard Stephanie had it as a kid and how much she had to fight through to get here.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Tournament final to crown the inaugural champion. The referee actually brings them to the middle and explains the rules, which is about as rare of a sight today as Stephanie not running her mouth. Benoit’s eyes seem to be fine after the whole attempt at blinding him a few days ago. Eddie hides in the corner to start until Benoit hits a heck of a shoulder, sending Eddie bailing to the floor.

Back in and Benoit starts in on the arm before winning a test of strength. Eddie slips out and spins around Benoit into a legsweep so smooth that I could barely tell what he did. A pinfall reversal sequence gets some near falls on Benoit, sending him outside for a bit of swearing. Back in and Eddie headlocks him down but gets caught in a shoulder breaker. Benoit still can’t get the Crossface as Eddie gets to the ropes just in time.

Eddie bails to the floor but Benoit is right there with a dive to put both guys down. Back in and Eddie gets caught in a half nelson of all things (leave it to Benoit to make something like that look painful) before going with a hard chop instead. Eddie is right back up with a hurricanrana out of the corner to take over again. The announcers talk about some technical difficulty but it’s been cleaned up on the Network version.

We hit an armbar on Benoit before Eddie pokes him in the eye, which Cole calls a slap. Benoit’s eyes are fine enough to take Eddie up top for a belly to back superplex. The rolling German suplexes set up the Crossface but Eddie gets a boot onto the ropes. Eddie is right back up with Three Amigos, followed by a top rope superplex to put both guys down again. The frog splash only kind of misses as Eddie’s arm hits Benoit as he rolls away, meaning both guys are down again.

One heck of a powerbomb gives Benoit two and now the Crossface goes on again but Eddie is right next to the ropes for a third time. The ref gets bumped though and it’s time to bring in the belt. A belt shot sets up the frog splash for a delayed two, giving us a great stunned face from Eddie. With the referee still down, Eddie brings in the belt again…and hits the referee in the back.

Eddie throws the belt onto Benoit and lays down. Now, this might be a fine idea in theory but considering an errant forearm put the referee down for about two minutes, we could be waiting until the Rumble for him to get up again. Benoit pops up and grabs the Crossface to make Eddie tap but of course there’s no one to see it. A German suplex drops Eddie and Benoit tries the Swan Dive, only to have Eddie pull the referee in the way. Cue Rhyno to Gore Benoit in the big screwjob, allowing Eddie to hit the frog splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. They were on the way to a masterpiece here when they messed it up with all of the overbooking. You could have completely eliminated at least one of the belt/ref bump things and gotten to Rhyno sooner and the match would have felt tighter. On the more positive side though, this match ran over twenty two minutes and felt like it was about half of that. It never dragged once and that’s one of the hardest things to accomplish in wrestling. Great match and a forgotten classic of an opener.

Stephanie (in a t-shirt for a very rare visual) comes in to see Vince, who is smelling flowers. Bickering ensues and Stephanie DOES NOT want to talk about Linda. Vince is going to Raw to confront Kane. It turns out the flowers are for Stephanie, who calls them nice in a rather aggressive way. Actually the roses are for Sable, but the small bouquet of dried out daises are for Stephanie.

We recap Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble, which REALLY doesn’t warrant a recap video. If nothing else, they should be showing more shots of Torrie rather than Jamie. Basically Noble wants to sleep with Torrie and has offered her thousands of dollars. Torrie finally agreed to sleep with him if he can beat Billy tonight.

Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie brings a briefcase of everything he’ll need for a great night with Torrie. Billy kicks it into his face before opening it up to reveal….I’m going to leave that to your imaginations actually. Billy takes him inside for a wheelbarrow faceplant but misses a splash in the corner. Jamie tries a dive to the floor but gets caught, only to have Billy’s knee give out. Cue Nidia as Jamie cranks on the bad knee.

Billy jumps over a kick to the leg and hits a heck of a cobra clutch slam (take that Jinder) to put both guys down. The Fameasser misses so Billy settles for a cutter for two. Jamie gets in a super DDT but Nidia puts Billy’s foot on the ropes. Torrie comes over for some reason and gets kissed, causing Noble to get slapped back and forth. Back up and Billy gets rammed into Torrie, setting up a rollup with Jamie’s hands on the tights (I saw no pulling) for the pin.

Rating: D. They kept it short and while that made it feel like a TV match, this was much more about getting in and out and moving on. Gunn continues to feel way out of place on these shows while Jamie is doing what he can with a pretty stupid character. You can tell this story is going to continue and while it’s not thrilling, it’s better than letting Billy do anything more important.

The APA isn’t happy with Brooklyn Brawler beating them down on Thursday but invite Funaki anyway. Funaki: “What should I wear?” Bradshaw: “Come as a Japanese reporter who wrestlers part time.” The Easter Bunny walks up (I believe bunnies are supposed to HOP!) and Bradshaw thinks this is going to be fun.

APA Invitational Bar Room Brawl

Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brooklyn Brawler, Chuck Palumbo, Brother Love, Chris Kanyon, Conquistador Dos, Conquistador Uno, Danny Basham, Doink the Clown, Doug Basham, Easter Bunny, Funaki, John Hennigan, Johnny Stamboli, Shannon Moore, Nunzio, Matt Cappatelli, Matt Hardy, Orlando Jordan, Sean O’Haire, Spanky

The Conquistadors are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter (of the Spirit Squad), Doink is Nick Dinsmore and the Easter Bunny is Aaron Stevens (Damien Sandow). There’s a big bar set up, complete with bottles, some tables, a big saloon sign and a lamp. Everyone is handed a beer as they come in, including Hardy, who hates barfights. The last man drinking wins here because Bradshaw wants to test their livers.

Before we get going though, Love wants a benediction. After he’s done insulting the APA and asking forgiveness, he breaks a stool over the Conquistadors’ backs. Welcome to the main roster guys. Most people are standing around drinking but some are beating the heck out of the Bunny. The Brawler throws Doink through a window as Funaki sits at the bar. O’Haire grabs some pool cues and breaks them over the APA’s heads.

Moore dives off the stage to take O’Haire out but Love breaks a mirror over his head. The Bunny goes through another window and Matt drives a Basham and Kanyon through a table (on the second try). Bradshaw bottles Love in the head and that’s finally it, despite Faarooq standing next to him.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling in any way and was little more than a joke that got old in a hurry. They did at least keep it short, but was there a point to this other than filling time? You have these people who have been getting pushed in recent months (Hardy and O’Haire at least) and they’re stuck in this mess designed to keep the APA over? Come on already.

Noble is enjoying a very worn copy of Torrie’s Playboy (with the camera catching a rather clear shot of one of the pictures, which isn’t censored whatsoever on the Network) and brags to a backstage worker. The guy asks about Nidia and is told to mind his own business.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin are defending. Shelton takes Rey down to start before they seem to botch a headscissors. The second attempt works a bit better and it’s off to Kidman, who takes a hard knee to the ribs. Something like a Bubba Bomb gets two on Rey and a powerslam gets the same.

We’re already in the chinlock, which hopefully isn’t a sign of this match being short. Shelton’s powerbomb is reversed and the hot tag brings in Kidman. A BK Bomb gives Kidman two and Rey is fast enough to break up the dive onto Kidman’s back. The 619 is broken up as well so Rey settles for a springboard seated senton to the floor to drop Benjamin.

Kidman one ups him with a shooting star to the floor as things have picked WAY up in a hurry. Thankfully the fans seem to appreciate it as well, which is a great sign after the previous match/segment seemed to kill them off a good bit. Shelton posts Kidman though and the champs take over again. Kidman slips out of a surfboard and sends Charlie outside but you know they’re not doing the second hot tag that easily. The tag connects but Shelton had the referee, drawing some very nice heat from the crowd.

A second attempt works a bit better and it’s Rey coming in with an enziguri to Shelton. The 619 into the springboard seated senton looks to finish but the referee is with Kidman, allowing Shelton to make the save. Kidman launches Rey up for a super hurricanrana and a VERY near fall on Haas. Rey’s shocked face and the big reaction from the crowd push things even further as the fans don’t buy that it was only two. Rey loads up a victory roll on Haas but Benjamin makes a blind tag and springboards into a clothesline as Haas powerbombs him down to retain.

Rating: B+. I know the Cruiserweight Title is taking a hit by having the champ do this other stuff but sweet goodness this was a fun match. They seemed to just tell the wrestlers to go nuts for fifteen minutes and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially when you have four people who are capable of something like this. Really fun match here with the champs being more than capable of having with the fast paced challengers.

We recap Stephanie ripping Sable’s top off, including all the screeching.

Sable vs. Stephanie McMahon

No countout here for some reason. Stephanie’s top is rather low cut because that’s at least half the point of this match. Cole has the nerve to say this should be good because they’re both former Women’s Champions. I’m so glad we’re done with that era and have moved on to something a little more respectable.

The catfight is on with the chase going through the crowd, mainly focusing on shots of Sable’s shorts. Back in with Sable talking trash and slowly stomping in the corner. We hit the Grind over Stephanie, who grabs a rollup for a fast two. Sable gets in a good slap but Cole says we haven’t seen Stephanie’s yet. Stephanie gets in an elbow in the corner, followed by punches that make Shane McMahon’s look great.

They head outside again with the referee having to take a chair away from Stephanie. Back in and Stephanie hits the slap before mounting Sable for the horrible slaps. Sable’s face is rubbed into the mat and a Hennig necksnap takes her down again. Back up and Sable’s top is ripped apart so the referee gives her his shirt. Cue the A-Train to run Stephanie down, giving Sable the pin.

Rating: D+. That’s on a very sliding scale and they certainly tried. They were running around as fast as they could and didn’t bother trying to have anything resembling a match. That’s the right call here and given that it was relatively short, this was much more inoffensive than I was expecting. It’s certainly not good or anything but given what kind of a disaster this had the potential to be, I’ll take what I can get. I’m not sure what the point of no countout was though as it’s not like they’re going to get counted while running in the crowd (which wasn’t long in the first place).

Stephanie has to get helped out and for some reason gets an ovation.

We recap John Cena vs. Undertaker. Cena is on a roll (despite not really winning any major matches) and wanted a big match for his one year anniversary. He went on to beat up Orlando Jordan, who got the big sign of respect from Undertaker after the match. Cena started calling himself the real legend of WWE and you just don’t do that. Undertaker wasn’t happy and here we are.

John Cena vs. Undertaker

My goodness what that could have meant under different circumstances. Cena’s pre-match rap basically says Undertaker is old and Cena is awesome. The motorcycle seems to stall as Undertaker keeps fiddling with the key and the camera switches to Cena standing in the ring for a good while. Undertaker eventually walks down to the ring with the bike still on the stage, which is certainly better than the Hulk Hogan fiasco last year.

Undertaker drives him into the corner to start and Cena actually slaps him in the face. That earns him one heck of a toss and the beating is on early. They head outside with Cena getting tossed into the barricade but grabbing a drink of water to spit in Undertaker’s face. Amazingly enough that has no effect and Cena gets posted again. All Undertaker in the early going and the apron legdrop makes things even worse.

Back in and Undertaker drives some knees into the ribs as Cole says Undertaker has been doing this for eleven years. I mean, it’s closer to thirteen but Cole it’s better than the Women’s Title line from earlier. Old School and a chokeslam get two as Undertaker pulls Cena up. Cena escapes the Last Ride though and grabs a DDT for a much needed breather. With Undertaker down, Cena pulls off a turnbuckle pad, making me wonder why the referee isn’t watching Cena at the moment.

Back up and Undertaker elbows him in the face but charges into the exposed buckle. Cena knocks him off the apron and into the barricade for a thud and Undertaker is spitting up blood. They head back inside with Undertaker missing a jumping boot of all things but settling for two off a neckbreaker. Cena knees him in the back to cut Undertaker off again but Undertaker slips out of the FU.

A big boot and legdrop give Undertaker two and he switches to a choke on the mat in the corner. That seems like some major spot calling or just an awkward spot for some reason. Cena uses the distraction to hit him in the ribs with the chain, setting up the FU for two. There is really no logical reason for that not being the pin. Like really, none at all and it hurts the FU when it’s just becoming a big time finisher. Cena does the always stupid right hands in the corner and it’s the Last Ride for the pin.

Rating: B. They were getting somewhere but my goodness Undertaker shouldn’t have gone over. This should have been Cena’s chance to be launched into the main event but instead it’s just Undertaker pinning him after a ton of offense. If Cena can’t beat him while cheating and hitting his finisher, why would I want to see him fight again? Completely wrong ending to an otherwise good match.

We recap Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen, which seems to be a David vs. Goliath story but I’m still not sure what Vince gets out of this. It’s something about Vince wanting to screw Stephanie over but the story of Stephanie wanting to protect Gowen from Vince for the sake of Stephanie’s childhood innocent didn’t make sense. Anyway, Stephanie and Gowen one upped Vince and earned Zach a contract so Vince is giving him his first singles match because he wants real athletes and not half men in his company.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

Vince casually backs him into the corner to start before wrestling him down and rolling around Gowen’s back. Some shots in the corner have Gowen in more trouble until he backdrops Vince over the top. An Asai moonsault and a middle rope Fameasser gives Gowen two, despite neither having much impact whatsoever.

Vince starts in on the good leg and Cole is RIGHT THERE to explain how much of a problem this could be for Zach. Never let it be said that WWE left you alone to figure something out on your own. The leg is wrapped around the post as Cole tries to explain the story behind the whole thing. We hit the half crab (not a leg hold but nice try) until Gowen makes the rope and scores with a dropkick.

Now it’s Vince’s getting crotched against the post and having his leg wrapped around the post. Cole: “Now the playing field is even!”. Not quite nimrod, but we’ll move on. Gowen hits a top rope bulldog and a middle rope dropkick. The moonsault gets two and now we’re just waiting on Gowen losing. Vince grabs a chair but gets it dropkicked into his face to draw a heck of a cut. Gowen misses the second moonsault though and Vince gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. They were trying as hard as they could here but there’s really not much you can do with this concept. Gowen has one leg and does a lot of impressive things for someone in his condition. I’ve seen it for a few weeks now and this time I saw him do it in long form against Vince. Then he doesn’t even win the thing? This is pretty much it for Gowen meaning anything and I have no idea what we’re supposed to care about him doing going forward as you can only watch this so many times. Yeah it’s an inspirational story, but it’s an inspirational story once, not four or five times now.

Gowen gets the big standing ovation and it’s lackluster at best. Tazz: “How many people get to say they’ve busted Vince McMahon wide open?” Uh, a fairly good amount actually?

Eddie says a victory is a victory and what happened to Benoit is his own fault.

We recap the World Title match. Brock Lesnar beat Kurt Angle to win the title at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for several months. Lesnar then feuded with Big Show for months but Angle is back and now Brock’s best friend. A three way feud ensued and it’s time for a triple threat. This gets the music video treatment.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Brock is defending, there are no disqualifications and it’s one fall to a finish. Show has to clothesline the new best friends down and it’s a chokeslam for an early two on Lesnar. Angle can’t German suplex the giant but he can pick the ankle for the ankle lock. That’s kicked away though and a superkick drops Angle again. Lesnar dives in for a save before hitting a middle rope back elbow to Show’s jaw.

It’s Kurt bringing in the first weapons with some garbage can lids and a series of shots finally put Show down. He’s right back up with a double suplex though, only to have Angle and Lesnar chokeslam him down. Tazz: “So Big Show suplexes the guys who suplex and they chokeslam the guy who chokeslams???”. Score one for the Red Hook school system.

Angle gets knocked outside and the F5 on Show gets a delayed two with Angle pulling the referee to the floor. A shot to Angle’s head busts him open, leaving Show to load Brock up for a superplex. That’s countered into a good looking running powerbomb but Angle makes another save with a chair. Angle chairs both of them out to the floor but gets it kicked back into his face.

While a bleeding Lesnar is stuck on the other side of the ring, an Angle Slam puts Show through the announcers’ table. That leaves Angle and Lesnar in the ring for the big showdown with Lesnar throwing him over the top in a hurry. Brock gets whipped into the steps though and Angle is cut on the back of his head. Back in and Angle tosses Brock with a release German suplex, sending Brock onto his stomach for a great looking flip.

The Angle Slam is countered into a spinebuster for two but Angle slaps on a choke. Show comes back in for the save and covers both guys at once for two. A double chokeslam gets another pair of near falls but Lesnar kicks the monster low. Kurt grabs the ankle again, only to let go of Brock and Angle Slam Show. Another Angle Slam to Lesnar is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This was a very well booked match as it felt like it took the two superheroes to deal with Big Show, leaving them to fight it out later. That’s exactly how you want something like this to go and they made it work quite well. Angle winning sets up another big match with Brock down the line and you can throw Show in there if you absolutely have to. Really strong match here and again, I get why Show was in there for a change as you don’t want to waste Angle vs. Lesnar II on Vengeance.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a heck of a show and if they had cut out some of the weaker stuff (like about eight minutes of Vince vs. Zach and the whole Billy vs. Jamie match), it could be an all time classic. The big stuff is very good, but the bad stuff (including some of the choices, mainly Undertaker winning) really holds it back. That being said, this show made Smackdown feel like what it used to be: the wrestling show, which is exactly the kind of thing it needs to be to feel different from Raw. Excellent show here and something that gives me a lot of confidence in Smackdown going forward.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: March 13, 2003
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night in Pittsburgh as the hometown boy Kurt Angle is defending the Smackdown World Title against former champion Brock Lesnar. WWE has hyped the heck out of having the Wrestlemania main event two and a half weeks early and that almost guarantees some kind of a screwy finish. Let’s get to it.

A fired up Lesnar arrived earlier in the day, as did a zombie-esque Angle, who is sporting a VERY black eye.

Opening sequence.

Team Angle vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

Non-title. Kidman shoulders Charlie down to start and there’s an armdrag to Shelton for good measure. Rey gets in a headscissors for two and Shelton isn’t sure how to keep up with Mysterio’s speed. It’s off to Kidman as the Angle vs. Lesnar hype continues. Shelton avoids a charge in the corner and Kidman goes shoulder first into the corner so the champs can take over. Shelton and Charlie take turns on the arm before Benjamin does his jump over Charlie onto Kidman’s back (that really needs a name).

Kidman finally gets in a dropkick and brings in Mysterio to clean house. Rey tries a hurricanrana on Shelton, who shoves him away, right into a moonsault press for two on Haas. Everything breaks down and Kidman easily reverses Charlie’s powerbomb (as you might expect). Shelton is sent outside and the 619 hits Haas. Kidman adds the shooting star press but Shelton gets up for a save. Mysterio is cut off and it’s the superkick into the German suplex to put Kidman away.

Rating: C+. Good action between four talented people, but more importantly it was nice to see Haas and Benjamin FINALLY get a win. I have no idea what the mentality is behind putting titles on people and then have them lose over and over again. A win like this helps, but they need to retain in a big title defense or there’s not much of a point to keeping the belts on them.

Stephanie McMahon is on the phone when Brian Kendrick comes in with some flowers. This goes nowhere.

Jamie Noble went to the Playboy Mansion to yell about Torrie Wilson being in Playboy instead of Nidia. After some plugs for the Girls Gone Wild show, security takes him away.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Rikishi

Rikishi goes after the other Italians and walks into a superkick from Palumbo for an early two. A belly to belly gets the same and it’s time for the required interference from the Italians. Rikishi comes back with some right hands in the corner and the Italians get on the apron. Cue Los Guerreros to take care of them though, allowing Rikishi to hit the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Undertaker finds Nathan Jones in a dark room. Apparently you can’t get the prison out of the wrestler. Undertaker doesn’t care, as long as Jones is ready for Wrestlemania.

A-Train/Big Show vs. Funaki/Tajiri

Big Show BLASTS Funaki with a clothesline at the bell and adds a gorilla press. It’s off to A-Train as Show sits in on commentary. Some kicks stagger A-Train but he knees Tajiri in the ribs to cut that off in a hurry. A dropkick to the knee allows Funaki to hit a springboard dropkick but they can’t drop the big bald. Tajiri’s kick to the face puts A-Train down so Big Show comes back in with the chokeslam. A-Train’s Trainwreck ends Funaki.

Rating: D. Just a squash and unfortunately a good way to show how generic a power team Big Show and A-Train really are. These power battle matches rarely work and I have a bad feeling about what we might be in for at Wrestlemania. The fact that Jones isn’t being allowed to get in the ring suggests a lot of problems and that’s a really bad idea going into the biggest show of the year. As a side note, is there any reason Tajiri and Funaki aren’t a regular team? They’d be fine as a midcard tag act.

We look back at Lesnar beating Heyman last week.

Fans are split on who will win the title match tonight.

Dawn Marie is sad about not being in Playboy. Sean O’Haire comes up and says that she should show off her body tonight by flashing the audience.

Torrie Wilson unveils her Playboy cover by holding up the magazine.

Here’s Dawn to say she has a nice body. She unbuttons her shirt and flashes the announcers, with the top rope covering everything up. Tazz: “THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT THE MELLON ARENA!”

John Cena talks about being a Viagra triple shot while Brock Lesnar is a limo biscuit.

Los Guerreros vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

The winners get Haas and Benjamin for the titles at Wrestlemania. The opening bell never rings as Chavo and Benoit fight over arm control. It’s off to Eddie and the fans seem appreciative of seeing these two together. Therefore it’s off to Rhyno before anything happens and a hard shove sends Eddie sprawling into the corner. For once Chavo actually does better as a snapmare into a basement dropkick has Rhyno in trouble.

Rhyno launches Eddie into the air for a crash to take over again though and it’s back to Benoit for a knee to the ribs. Benoit belly to backs Chavo for two but Eddie comes back in for a good looking dropkick. In a surprising move, Eddie calms Chavo down from getting too involved to prevent a potential DQ. It’s for Wrestlemania after all so that makes sense. Things settle down enough for Chavo to chinlock Benoit as the pace slows.

Tazz talks about dogs and cats for some reason as Chavo does one of the most obvious spot calls I’ve seen in years. Eddie’s slingshot hilo gets two and we hit the armbar. Chavo comes back in and charges straight into a Crossface but he’s too close to the ropes. Benoit rolls outside with him and it’s Eddie diving onto Benoit, followed by Rhyno running Eddie over as we take a break.

Chavo grabbing a Crossface on Benoit (and being pretty bad at it) but Rhyno tags Benoit’s boot to come in for the save. A belly to belly into a chinlock slows Chavo down but he’s right back up with a middle rope dropkick. It’s back to Eddie vs. Benoit with Guerrero winning a slugout and grabbing a hurricanrana. He takes a bit too much time slapping his chest though and Benoit catches him on top, only to get caught in a sunset bomb for two.

Rhyno throws Chavo outside and still manages to break up a small package on Benoit. Chavo comes back in but gets caught in the Crossface, onto to have Eddie break it up with a frog splash. There’s a Gore to Eddie but Chavo hurricanranas him out to the floor. That leaves Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Eddie, who pops right back up with Three Amigos. Benoit will have none of that though and reverses into the Crossface but Eddie gets his hand out, earning himself even more German suplexes….and here’s Team Angle for the no contest after twenty minutes.

Rating: B. They were really starting to roll when the stupid finish happened. If Haas and Benjamin were just going to run in and end the match that way, why did they wait that long to do so? Anyway, Rhyno has fit right back into this show and is a nice power addition to go with the high fliers and technicians. You know this is setting up a triple threat at Wrestlemania and while I’d rather have Benoit do something important on is own, at least he’s in a title match.

We look back at last week with Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon agreeing to a fight at Wrestlemania. Well at least they were gentlemen about it. For some reason we also have to hear them go on about all their history together, because, again, fans care SO MUCH about lawsuits and wrestlers jumping ship seven years ago.

Stephanie tells Team Angle that they’ll be facing both teams at Wrestlemania.

We get a clip from 1984 of Vince introducing a clip of Hogan beating Iron Sheik for the title, which transitions into a Hogan video package, including several Hogan Wrestlemania moments. That’s it for the fun stuff as we now go to an interview from some DVD of Hogan talking about being the one out there doing all this stuff. Vince threw him the ball and Hogan ran with it. It’s capped off by a clip from 1992 of Vince and Hogan sitting together before Hogan’s “retirement” match where they shake hands and thank each other.

Vince makes us watch the final part two more times and says that’s the only time Hogan ever thanked him for anything. What an ingrate. They used to be the best of friends but then Hogan changed. That change hurt Vince’s family and business which cut him to the bone. That clip wasn’t Hogan saying thank you but rather SCREW YOU VINCE.

We hear about how horrible it was for Hogan to jump to WCW again and Vince reiterates that it’s a fight instead of a match. We go to an extreme closeup as Vince says that after Wrestlemania, he is going to be devastated because Hogan has forced him to kill one of his own creations. For that, he can never forgive Hogan.

Cole says the contract signing for Hogan vs. McMahon is next week in the historic Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky. Freedom Hall is not historic Cole.

Here’s Matt Hardy, who has never locked his keys in his car and hates cleaning his carpet, to issue an open challenge to anyone under 220lbs, save for Mysterio of course.

Matt Hardy vs. Pittsburgh Penguin

Non-title and it’s Brian Kendrick under a mask with a carrot for a nose. Tazz: “So this guy can fly then?” The Penguin tries to speed things up to start and hits a dropkick. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up so it’s a headscissors out of the corner to send Hardy flying. The Ricochet gets two though and Matt stomps away on the back. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two and there goes the mask, revealing Kendrick in not the best surprise. Kendrick gets two off a facebuster and something like a tornado DDT gets two more. Shannon offers a distraction but Kendrick is able to grab Sliced Bread anyway. That’s enough for Matt as he takes the countout.

Rating: D+. Not terrible and the surprise (as obvious as it was) wasn’t the worst idea in the world. Having Kendrick win via countout makes him look good, though I’m not sure how smart it is to do that to a champion right before the biggest show of the year. Just have him beat Shannon instead as it’s not like that means anything.

After a break, Rey praises Kendrick.

Long recap of Lesnar vs. Angle.

Wrestlemania Moment: Hogan vs. Andre. That works.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending in his hometown. Kurt comes to the ring with his hood up and immediately drops to his knee in the corner with his face against the buckle. Brock jumps him from behind and fires off the shoulders to the back as the hood is still up. The F5 connects but Brock lets him up at two because that’s not Kurt. Cue Team Angle for a distraction so the real Kurt can switch with whoever was in the ring. Angle small packages Brock to retain in maybe 90 seconds.

Kurt bails so Brock hits the F5 into the post on the other Angle, who Tazz recognizes as Kurt’s brother Eric, to end the show. Basically Kurt’s neck was destroyed and he didn’t think he’d be able to do Wrestlemania. This match was going to be a quick title change but Angle opted for surgery after working Wrestlemania because Angle is, shall we say, freaking crazy.

Overall Rating: D. That ending felt straight out of WCW and really brings down the rest of the show. It’s all they were talking about for most of the night and that’s not how you want to wrap up one of the last shows of the year before Wrestlemania. On top of that, the Vince vs. Hogan stuff is getting old in a hurry and the rest of Smackdown’s stuff isn’t all that great. Bad show this week as the main event cuts the legs off what could have been a good, or at least ok, night.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown
Date: December 26, 2002
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show of the year as we’re getting ready to start the build towards the Royal Rumble. We also have Brock Lesnar vs. Paul Heyman/Big Show/Kurt Angle in a feud that is likely to lead to a major feud down the line, though Lesnar is likely going to need some help along the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle heel turn and the announcement of Angle vs. Big Show for the title this week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Stephanie, who seems to be a face again, to open the show. She’s not going to lie to us and say the World Title match is going to happen because it’s been canceled. Last week, after Smackdown went off the air, Brock did something to Angle and now Kurt is out of action for a good while, potentially all the way until the Rumble. She won’t tell us what happened but she’ll show us later tonight. Since there’s no reason given for the delay, here’s Big Show to interrupt.

He’s not happy with the idea of waiting until Royal Rumble but he’s even more annoyed at the fact that Stephanie didn’t name him #1 contender. She was just about to make that match though, RIGHT? Show tries to intimidate her and for once, Stephanie actually sounds scared as she threatens to suspend him. He’ll have a chance to be #1 contender when he faces Chris Benoit in the main event. That’s not cool with Show either but here’s Benoit to interrupt. Benoit says he’ll break Show’s neck later tonight but Show plays the size card. That just earns him a low blow and Benoit leaves with a smile on his face.

Crash vs. Bill DeMott

DeMott is now all mean and angry, which the announcers tell you as often as they can. He works on Crash’s arm before the match and sends it into the post but of course the referee starts the match anyway. DeMott slaps on an armbar as Tazz praises his psychology. A powerbomb and the moonsault finish Crash in a hurry.

Al Wilson and Dawn Marie exchange gifts: a bottle of Viagra and a camera. Both are for the honeymoon. Again: why is this such a bad thing for Al? Can I get some clarification on that?

Here are Matt Hardy, who was MVP in the 1999 No Mercy ladder match and always sticks to his New Year’s resolution, and a badly damaged Shannon Moore with something to say. They want to talk about something destroying WWE: Brock Lesnar. After that belly to belly injured Moore last week, Shannon didn’t stop but someone must stop Lesnar. Next week, Hardy wants Brock one on one and has a special plan for him. Matt beats Shannon down, though it feels like a lesson instead of a turn.

Heyman and Angle arrive with the latter on crutches and with a big cast around his leg.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Billy Kidman

Edge and Kidman, who seems to get a shot at these titles every other week, are challenging. Kidman hiptosses both champs to start before snapping off a headscissors on Chavo. The champs take over with some chicanery and it’s Kidman in early trouble. Eddie’s slingshot hilo connects but so does an enziguri, allowing the tag to Edge. A double missile dropkick puts both champs down and a flapjack to Chavo makes things even worse.

As usual though, Eddie is smart enough to go after the bad knee but Kidman breaks up the Lasso From El Paso. A quick spear gets two on Eddie and the champs tease leaving, only to have the referee say a countout will give us new champions. Back from a break with Edge missing a charge into the corner to put the champs back in control. Chavo’s chinlock works as well as any other chinlock (aside from Kevin Owens’ of course) and the Edge-O-Matic gets Edge out of trouble.

A double flapjack really gets him out of trouble and it’s off to Kidman, who is suplexed down almost immediately. Eddie misses the Frog Splash and Kidman drops the shooting star on Chavo, only to have Eddie pull the referee out for the DQ. And again never mind as the referee is restarting this as a No DQ match.

Chavo is in trouble to start the second fall but Eddie breaks up another shooting star attempt. Edge hits Chavo with the belt (which Chavo brought in) for two and heads to the apron for a tag for some reason. Cue A-Train with the backbreaker on Edge though, allowing Eddie to Frog Splash Kidman to retain.

Rating: B. Gah they were rolling here until the A-Train interference. Edge vs. A-Train isn’t interesting but these four going on for nearly twenty minutes certainly was with Los Guerreros’ cheating not working for a change. I was digging this match as Kidman continues to show that cruiserweights are more than capable of hanging with the big guys, making the division kind of a waste of time.

Here’s the footage from after last week’s Smackdown. Angle talks trash and beat on Brock bit more until Lesnar fought back and beat up Kurt and Big Show. Kurt took a chair to the head and back to back F5’s on the floor with his knee hitting the post both times. Trainers came out but Lesnar dropped Angle’s knee onto the barricade just to be sure. This would be a way to write Angle off for knee surgery, which makes you wonder why they put the title on him in the first place. Then again, an injured Angle is probably worth more than Big Show at this point.

Back from a break with Heyman in the ring to blame Stephanie for Kurt’s injuries. This brings out Angle on crutches to compare his rookie year to Lesnar. They both won the World Title in their first year but Angle did it without Heyman helping him out. Kurt: “AND I’M AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST! WHO SUCKS NOW???” Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Angle has an agent because he’s a very important person. More importantly though, he’s the kind of man that Lesnar could never be. He’ll defend the title at the Royal Rumble and then he’ll take Lesnar down like the punk that he is.

Heyman agrees, but he has a surprise for Kurt: Team Angle. That would be Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin, a pair of All-American wrestlers, with Shelton being Brock’s former roommate at the University of Minnesota. Angle tells Lesnar that’s checkmate. This is a great idea and something that could do a lot of good. If Team Angle is kept strong, they could be a great addition to the tag division, which suddenly needs a burst of energy. The segment was long but it did its job, which is far more important.

B-2 vs. Rikishi

Cena’s rap says that B-2 is the physical version of R2-D2. Rikishi sends B-2 into the steps before the bell as Cena sits in on commentary. That lasts all of ten seconds until he gets up to break up the Stinkface. Back in and Buchanan (mostly) hits his top rope spinning clothesline. Cena tries to bring in a chair but uses the distraction to throw B-2 the chain. That just earns B-2 a superkick and the Rump Shaker for the pin.

Torrie Wilson isn’t sure she’ll be here for the wedding. Her dad comes up to yell at her for being selfish and says he’s getting married next week no matter what. After the wedding, he and Dawn are going to have a child and he hopes it won’t be a disappointment like her.

Los Guerreros celebrate their win when they run into Cena and B-2. Eddie and Chavo speak Spanish but Cena goes into a rap. Eddie mocks Cena’s voice and says they still have the title. This was completely bizarre and yet still rather funny.

Benoit says he’ll win and then go on to win the World Title that has always eluded him.

Angle fires Big Show up.

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

The winner gets Angle at the Rumble. Show doesn’t waste time by throwing Benoit into the corner, followed by a big boot to make things even worse. Benoit chops away and tries the Crossface but gets tossed away with ease. More power offense sends Benoit flying into the corner before Show pulls off a turnbuckle pad. Benoit goes for the knee for a breather, followed by muscling Show up for a German suplex. The Swan Dive (a splash this time as Show is too close to the corner) gets two but the chokeslam is countered into a rollup (with feet on the ropes, though it might not have been intentional) for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was as good as Big Show throwing Benoit around for a few minutes before getting caught at the end was going to be. Benoit as the #1 contender is a great thing and the story of him never winning the title is a strong story. The match wasn’t bad and they made sure to keep it short to make sure Big Show didn’t mess anything up.

Show tries a chokeslam but gets countered into the Crossface (I always love that counter). Cue Team Angle for the superkick into a German suplex and the debut of the Haas of Pain (kind of a Liontamer/Indian deathlock combo). Show adds a chokeslam as the fans don’t get their requested Brock. Angle comes out to talk trash and chokes Benoit with a crutch to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were very heavy on the storylines this week with several long explanations about what’s going on in the main event. However, we also got a long title match, a World Title match set up for a month away and the debut of a new team. They covered a lot of stuff tonight and that’s the best thing you could have after the mess that Raw has become.

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Smackdown
Date: December 12, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final stop before the final pay per view of the year and there are two major stories at the moment. First up we have Kurt Angle becoming the new #1 contender to Big Show’s Smackdown World Title, meaning the hopes of most of the fans are on his Olympic shoulders. Other than that we have the sports entertainment shock value of Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the Torrie/Dawn stuff from last week with Torrie agreeing to spend a night with Dawn to keep Dawn from marrying her dad. They’re really not hiding the soap opera nonsense are they?

Opening sequence.

Rikishi vs. B2

Now it’s B Two instead of B Squared. Sounds like a vitamin. Either way he poses at Rikishi and gets punched in the face but it’s way too early for the Stinkface. Bull’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere but Cena offers a distraction and gets kicked in the face. The second distraction works a bit better though as Bull hits him low, allowing Cena to chain Rikishi in the head for the cheap pin.

Torrie Wilson arrives and Jan the Makeup Lady says she’s been hearing rumors about what happened in the hotel room last week. I thought it was pretty obvious given how things started but maybe we need to spell it out: they did a Jungle Book jigsaw puzzle and watched the Facts of Life.

Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a Brock Lesnar autograph signing and offered to get the suspension lifted in exchange for Lesnar being in his corner on Sunday. If Brock helps him, he’ll get the first title shot. Lesnar says if the suspension is lifted, he’ll think about it.

Big Show is with Albert, who is now named A-Train (certainly an improvement), and Paul Heyman. New interviewer Josh Matthews (shoot me now) comes in to ask about the Lesnar/Angle situation and the champ is livid. For reasons that I don’t even want to be able to fathom, these two segments were edited off the WWE Network version. The only way to know about them is Cole’s recap in the next match.

Show and Heyman yell at Stephanie, who throws them out.

Bill DeMott vs. Shannon Moore

DeMott is now an official bully, meaning he and Ryback should go out for soup and grape juice. Moore tries to hammer away but gets thrown around and smashed with a clothesline. A powerslam sets up a heck of a moonsault to give Bill the pin.

Now Stephanie will hear from Heyman and Show, the former of whom doesn’t want to hear about Scott Steiner. As for Lesnar, he makes Smackdown money so the suspension is lifted. Then why did she suspend him in the first place? To prove that he’ll get a week off if he breaks the rules? This was Stephanie showing off her power side with the hands on the hips and lethal sneer. To be fair the look works for her.

Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Billy Kidman/Chris Benoit

Eddie and Chavo are defending and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie to start in a preview of their match on Sunday. An early Crossface attempt doesn’t work but a backdrop has Eddie in trouble. It’s a double tag to bring in Kidman, only to have Eddie cheap shot him a few times to take over. The slow stomping begins and a spinebuster gives Chavo two.

Even Eddie can’t powerbomb Kidman but it’s still not enough for the hot tag. Kidman starts wildly swinging to slow Eddie down and a powerbomb is enough for the hot tag to Benoit. Eddie gets caught in the Crossface and we take an abrupt break (just like on Raw). We come back with Kidman holding Chavo in a chinlock as we see Eddie tapping during the break, albeit behind the referee’s back.

The champs take over with Eddie legbarring Kidman very close to the corner. He really should know better than that and I don’t have much sympathy for him when Benoit comes in and kicks Eddie in the head. Eddie blocks the tag though and grabs a keylock. Some good old fashioned cheating sees Chavo switch places for a keylock of his own. Chavo decks Benoit off the apron but Kidman gets in an ankle scissors.

The referee doesn’t see a tag but Benoit comes in with the rolling German suplexes anyway. Chris Swan Dives onto Eddie for two (with Cole asking why there’s a count) as everything breaks down. Benoit Crossfaces Chavo for the tap but the referee is looking at Kidman, who misses the Shooting Star. Eddie grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes to retain. So he watches Benoit cover but not when he has the Crossface? Biased jerk.

Rating: B. It’s almost like the tag team formula works very well when you let it have the time to go somewhere. These four work very well together and, as usual, Kidman proves that the cruiserweights can easily hang with the heavyweights, thereby proving that the weight divisions are stupid in wrestling. Great match, as you would expect.

Torrie goes to yell at Dawn and says what happened in the hotel room was personal and just between them. Dawn can’t believe what she’s hearing and takes off her robe to reveal lingerie. Torrie doesn’t seem to mind it at first before yelling at Dawn to cut it out. There hasn’t been one lie though and Torrie doesn’t deny it. She does however demand that the wedding be called off tonight. Torrie leaves and Dawn smiles.

Raw Retro: HHH interrupts Stephanie and Test’s wedding. Again, edited off the Network but it could be because the Motorhead theme is edited over My Time.

Here’s Dawn, after the fastest change into a dress in recorded history, for a chat. She asks Al to come out here and confirms that everything he’s heard about her and Torrie is true. Al doesn’t seem to care so Dawn talks about looking into Torrie’s eyes and seeing Al in them. If that’s not creepy enough, every time she kissed Torrie’s lips, it was like she was kissing him.

Dawn knows Al will never find a woman like her and he wants to marry her anyway. Torrie comes out for some of the most violent slapping you’ll ever see so Dawn promises to show the full tape on Sunday to prove how much Torrie enjoyed it. This is pure trash but Al’s “acting” is so bad that it’s hard not to laugh. He just stands there with no reactions, even to the fact that his fiance slept with his daughter and they kiss alike.

Tazz immediately starts basically promising various adult material on Sunday as we look at replays. This really is the second biggest Smackdown story (and not that far from first). On a show with the Smackdown Six mind you.

Jamie Noble vs. Crash

Tazz thinks Jamie’s cousin Nunzio is 6’11 and 320lbs and works for the mob. Jamie elbows Crash in the face to start and they slug it out with Crash getting the better of it. A faceplant gives Crash two and it’s Crash Landing time, only to have Nunzio (ECW’s Little Guido, who Tazz suddenly doesn’t recognize despite the ECW chants) come in for the DQ.

The double beatdown ensues but Nidia doesn’t look pleased.

Scott Steiner arrives.

Stephanie comes to the ring to sign Steiner as Tazz and Cole look at WWE Magazine, naturally featuring their boss. Steiner takes the pen but won’t sign because last week, after the cameras stopped rolling in the limo, nothing happened. See, Stephanie didn’t put out for him because she’s wholesome, unlike that Torrie Wilson. Now why would you think Stephanie was on her level in the second story based on sex in exchange for a deal on this show?

Anyway, Stephanie suggests that she’ll do it if he signs so Scott puts her on the table and wants to go right now. Stephanie goes on a rant about her moral standards but Scott doesn’t want to hear it. If he can’t trust her in his personal life, he can’t trust her in his business life. Therefore, he’s signing with Raw. Eric Bischoff comes out to gloat and Stephanie throws a fit.

We get an update on Rey Mysterio’s knee injury, which is worse than they thought. There’s no word on his return time.

Edge has a knee injury of his own but he’s ready to focus on his tag match tonight. Angle comes in and agrees to have Edge’s back in the tag.

PPV rundown. Tazz says Eddie vs. Benoit has five stars written all over it.

Edge/Kurt Angle vs. Big Show/A-Train

Good thing the production team had a new song with a train whistle ready in case someone changed their name. Edge and Big Show start things off as Cole goes over Angle and Edge’s history together. A chop staggers the Canadian so it’s off to Angle, who gets A-Train. One heck of a shoulder drops Kurt and it’s back to Edge, who unloads on A-Train in the corner.

A-Train throws Edge hard into the corner and it’s time for Heyman to start the trash talk. For reasons of general large headedness, A-Train takes his sweet time getting around to Edge’s bad knee before handing it off to Big Show for some knee work of his own. The slow beating begins with Show laying on the leg.

After more lifeless offense from the giants, Edge gets in a tornado DDT to stun A-Train and the hot tag brings in Angle. A German suplex actually sends A-Train flying as everything breaks down. Edge spears A-Train down instead of Big Show but the big bald pops up and chairs Edge in the back. The Angle Slam drops both monsters but a Heyman distraction lets Show chokeslam Kurt for the pin.

Rating: D+. They did what they could here but with Edge on a bad wheel and Big Show/A-Train as the heel team, you’re only going to get so far. The match wasn’t bad but this better lead to Angle winning the title on Sunday as it’s clear Show can only do the bare basics at this point. A-Train was trying but calling him limited would be an understatement.

Overall Rating: C-. You know what this felt like? An early 2017 episode of NXT. You know there’s talent there and the people behind the scenes know what they’re doing but there’s only so much you can do when you’re this limited. We’ve done the Smackdown Six matches so many times and since Lesnar is suspended, you have to come up with something fresh.

That means you’re pretty much stuck with short matches to build up new talent without exposing how bad they really are. This show wasn’t the worst but it’s clear that they’re trying something new, which isn’t the easiest thing in the world. They need more time and better talent but things could be rough for the time being.

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Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2002
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the show is finally starting to pick up some steam. The midcard is still in need of some work and thankfully that’s where Smackdown shines. Hopefully they don’t spend all night talking about Lesnar vs. Rock as Monday handled most of the remaining necessary build. A promo or two would be fine but it doesn’t need to be much more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman to get things going. Heyman talks about Rock’s Hollywood star power but is really talking about how big of a star Hollywood Hogan used to be. Even in WWE’s wildest dreams, I don’t think Hogan was ever the #1 box office star in entertainment. Anyway, the fate Hogan suffered is the same thing waiting for Rock at Lesnar’s hands. Brock is all fired up and feels the same he did as the night he fought Hulk Hogan.

Cue Rock to say he’s tired of listening to Brock so tonight will be a night like no other. There are no catchphrases tonight because Rock is bringing it to Lesnar (good for a ROAR from the crowd). Rock is ready to fight right now but Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero jump him, meaning it’s time for the Crossface with Lesnar adding trash talk.

Back from a break and Benoit/Guerrero attack Edge as well. I smell a tag match.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Shannon Moore

Moore and Tajiri flip around to start as Cole actually does a good job of explaining how stacked this match is. Hurricane comes in with a high crossbody and a Shining Wizard for two on Noble. Nidia distracts Moore though and Tajiri kicks his head off, which Tazz says probably saved Moore from some disease. A chinlock keeps Moore in trouble until the hot tag brings in Hurricane to clean house. The chokeslam doesn’t work and a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo gets two on Jamie and one heck of a chokeslam plants Tajiri. Shannon sunset flips Jamie for the pin.

Rating: C+. The division is really starting to pick up and that’s the best thing that could happen for the title picture. Throw in Rey Mysterio as the title’s overlord and everything should be just fine. I’m digging these matches more and more every single week and I really wouldn’t have bet on that a few months back.

Matt Hardy comes out to pose with Moore and Hurricane, who have to put him on their shoulders for some reason.

Stephanie yells at Benoit and Guerrero for beating Rock up because that’s what Stephanie does. Benoit brings up Stephanie telling him to hurt Rock last week. Stephanie: “BACK OFF!” This turns into another Stephanie diatribe that makes NO sense because Stephanie changes positions every single week. Oh and Eddie is in trouble for attacking Edge but before Stephanie can collect some Latino balls, Edge jumps Eddie with a chair. A tag match is made for later with the two horrible employees vs. Edge/Rock.

Matt brags about his reaction and it has nothing to do with them being in North Carolina. He goes out again and gets another big pop because there’s nothing scheduled to be taking place at all right now. Matt comes out and poses but Chavo Guerrero interrupts and calls Matt a white boy. That means a match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Chavo sends him outside to start before grabbing an Octopus Hold of all things. Matt powers out and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. A double clothesline drops both guys before Chavo dives into the Side Effect for two. Matt loads up the Twist of Fate but the Kane music and pyro distract him enough so Chavo can grab a rollup for the pin. Cole: “Chavo pins Matt in his hometown area!”

Rating: D+. I’m liking the new Matt character and I’m glad they’re running with him as a heel after the whole turn on Jeff but the Kane stuff is getting annoying. Chavo is still fine in the ring but he’s not the most interesting wrestler in the world. There’s just something about him that sucks the charisma out of the room and I’m sure being Eddie’s nephew didn’t help in that area.

Matt says the explosion should have been a stoppage due to the Earl Hebner doctrine of not being able to get screwed near your own hometown. I chuckled.

Funaki goes into the women’s locker room where Nidia is getting changed and likes the attention. Molly Holly panics of course and a culture clash ensues. Nidia promises to flash the crowd if she wins the title tonight.

Rey Mysterio is ready for Summerslam when Kurt Angle cuts him off with a smirk. Kurt says Rey can sit back in his booster chair tonight and watch Angle vs. Billy Kidman (that could be really, really good) as a Summerslam preview. Oh and if Rey shows up, it’s a broken freaking ankle.

Kurt Angle vs. Billy Kidman

Angle knocks him to the apron to start but a hurricanrana sends Kurt into the corner. Why Kidman thought that was a good idea isn’t clear as Angle rolls the German suplexes, only to have Rey pop out of the stage. After teasing a chase to go after the masked man, Angle comes back in and stomps Kidman like he stole something.

An ankle scissors sends Angle outside where he gets mad at a fan for wearing a Mysterio mask. I can always go for a paranoid Angle. Kidman is smart enough to go up top for a big dive to the floor. A good looking DDT gets two more on Kurt but Kidman makes the mistake of going up for the Shooting Star, allowing Angle to run the corner for the superplex.

The Angle Slam doesn’t work and there goes the referee off a missed clothesline. Angle’s chair is dropkicked into his face for a close two but he grabs the Angle Slam. With the referee still down, Rey comes in with a top rope seated senton, which causes the chase into the countout to give Kidman the fluke win.

Rating: B. Kidman was so underrated in the ring as he could put on a performance like this but the best he could ever do was a midcard act. Ok so he married Torrie Wilson but does that really make up for everything else? One thing I’ve always loved about Angle is how he would fight anyone at any level on the roster. This was a great rub for Kidman who got to hang with Angle for the better part of ten minutes. That helps someone else and builds up another story without hurting Kidman at all. You don’t see that out of enough veterans.

Angle beats Kidman up post match.

Brock training video.

Rock is getting his ribs looked at when Edge comes in to talk about the tag match. The injury doesn’t matter because Rock will fight even if he doesn’t have any limbs left.

John Cena/Rikishi vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von hammers Cena down to start as revenge for John beating him on Velocity last week. Rikishi comes in and the threat of sitting on D-Von’s chest scares the Reverend a bit. An angry tag brings in Batista for that hard clothesline as he seems to be trying to prove himself to the boss.

A Samoan drop gives Batista two but everything breaks down. D-Von breaks up a Stinkface but gets DDT’ed for his efforts. Now it’s D-Von taking the Stinkface but Batista makes a save, allowing D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT to plant Cena. For some reason Batista and D-Von get in an argument with Big Dave spinebustering him. The Rump Shaker is good for the pin.

Rating: D. The sooner they get Batista away from D-Von for good, the better it is for everyone. Batista has a lot of potential and no one cares about D-Von in this dead end gimmick. Speaking of dead ends, Cena seems to have hit one but to be fair a lot of that is probably due to teaming with Rikishi.

Nidia flashes an old, overweight guy who I don’t believe works for this company.

Women’s Title: Nidia vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and Nidia spins out of a wristlock to start. This is little more than a backdrop for Tazz to talk about the potential flashing, making him a low rent Jerry Lawler. Nidia gets two off a backslide but Molly drops her face first onto the top turnbuckle. Molly grabs a reverse chinlock but gets small packaged for two. The handspring elbow misses though and Nidia gets two off a DDT. Molly is sat on top but kicks both rednecks away, setting up the Molly Go Round to retain.

Rating: C. Given where Nidia was at this point in her career, this was just a step beneath a miracle. She looked like a rookie but a very competent rookie, which puts her miles ahead of Jackie and Linda. It’s not a great or memorable match but Nidia looked like she was told what to do and then went out and did it, which is a good sign for her career.

Jamie tells Nidia to flash the crowd anyway but Molly dropkicks him into her. Why this stops the flashing from occurring after Molly leaves isn’t clear.

Here’s Stephanie for a chat because we’re just that lucky. She thanks the Smackdown fans and plugs Summerslam with “YOUR VERY OWN SMACKDOWN SUPERSTARS”. So….do we get in trouble for watching Raw? Could it make Stephanie yell at us for not having enough loyalty to her mission?

Video on Summerslam’s card, which really is stacked.

Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. The Rock/Edge

Edge charges into the ring and the brawl is on in a hurry as Rock sprints out to get us going. We officially start with Eddie vs. Edge with Guerrero taking over in the corner and handing it off to Benoit. The flapjack gets two on Chris but it’s right back to Eddie to keep Edge in trouble. The beating continues with Benoit getting to pick him apart with some kicks to the ribs.

A double clothesline drops Eddie and Edge and the hot tag brings in Rock. Benoit is quickly caught in the Sharpshooter but Eddie makes the save, only to eat a spinebuster. That means the People’s Elbow but Benoit is there for another save. Now it’s Rock’s turn to take a beating with Benoit and Guerrero taking turns stomping on the banged up ribs. Benoit knocks Edge off the apron and grabs the Crossface.

Rock is quickly fading as Eddie pulls the rope away, only to hold the arm up before the third drop. The rope is grabbed so Eddie loads up the frog splash with Edge making a quick save. A diving tag brings Edge in for the running clotheslines as are his customs. Everything breaks down again and Edge spears Eddie down for the pin.

Rating: B+. Sometimes you need a hot tag match to end the show and that’s what we got here. Edge is clearly on the rise and only needs a few more big wins to break through the ceiling to the main event. Matches like this where he gets to rub elbows with the Rock and pin someone like Eddie is only going to boost him there.

Post match Brock comes in and Rock asks Edge to step aside. The brawl is on and Rock punches him out to the floor with Brock jumping over the ropes with no hands. Heyman holds Brock back to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Above all else, I’m ready for Summerslam and that’s exactly the point of this show. The hot main event helped a lot and that’s all it needed to do here. Ignoring Stephanie’s WE ARE SMACKDOWN AND HEAR US ROAR nonsense, this show did a lot of things right and only had a few missteps, which is far better than what Raw does one week to the next. Summerslam needs to rock though and I have a feeling that’s going to be the case.

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Smackdown
Date: July 11, 2002
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the week after a big show and the top story is the return of the Rock. It’s not clear what he’s going to be doing here but odds are it’s something rather simple that is going to be considered amazing because it’s the Rock. If nothing else he needs to start the build towards Vengeance when he challenges for the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s World Title match which ended in a draw.

Opening sequence.

John Cena is in the main event tag. That’s a big, big step forward in a hurry.

Tag Team Titles: Edge/Hulk Hogan vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are challenging. Edge spinwheel kicks Chuck in the face to start but Billy snaps off a tilt-a-whirl slam to take over. As the beating ensues, it’s hard to ignore Hogan playing cheerleader. That’s one thing I always love about Hogan in tag matches: he almost never stops moving on the apron. It might be slapping the turnbuckle or pacing back and forth but he’s rarely just standing there watching. There’s a lot that can be done from that spot and it’s something not enough people do.

The double and triple teaming has Edge in trouble before we hit the chinlock to slow things down even more. Billy walks into the half nelson faceplant and it’s off to Hogan for the usual. The big boot hits Chuck’s chest/shoulder area and the one to Billy is even less accurate. Rico offers a distraction so the Fameasser can get two on Hulk. Another big boot sets up the legdrop to retain.

Rating: D+. The important thing here: the match ran 6:16 and Hogan was in the ring for about a fourth of that. Hogan wrestling less than two minutes a match but getting to do all of his signature stuff is the best thing he can do right now. Good enough match and it ends the threat of Billy and Chuck getting another shot.

Cena comes up to Undertaker (his partner tonight) to thank him for the chance tonight. Undertaker doesn’t seem to care because he’s worried about the Rock.

Torrie Wilson was doing a beach photo shoot earlier today when Molly Holly interrupted. She thinks wrestling is what matters and offers Torrie a title shot tonight. Torrie: “Ok, I’ll do it.”

The agents try to get Undertaker out of the parking lot but he’ll have none of that. A limo arrives but it’s Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle, Undertaker and Cena’s opponents tonight. Insults are exchanged and a brawl breaks out. Vince comes in for the save and some yelling.

Post break, Undertaker wants to know where Cena was. Cena says Undertaker threw him out but Undertaker yells about Cena not having his back. Undertaker thinks Cena won’t last long if he doesn’t get it together. So I guess he got it together.

Women’s Title: Torrie Wilson vs. Molly Holly

Holly is defending. Torrie gets in a slap and that’s about it for her early offense. Molly chokes on the ropes for a bit until Torrie catapults her into the corner. Some right hands in the corner have little effect as Torrie gets powerbombed out of the corner, setting up a leglock for a pin (kind of odd) to retain Molly’s title.

Rock is here.

Mark Henry/Randy Orton vs. Reverend D-Von/Batista

D-Von cheap shots Orton to start and the early beating sends Randy outside. That means it’s time for Batista to show off the power for a bit. Orton avoids a knee drop though and Henry comes in to clean house with his own power. Everything breaks down and Henry clotheslines both of them down at the same time, only to have Batista hit a Regal Roll of all things. The spinebuster ends Henry in a hurry.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here, including Orton who disappeared halfway through the match. They need to go somewhere with this idea before Orton loses what little steam he has. At least Batista and D-Von are getting somewhere with this though and that’s a big accomplishment in WWE at this point.

Hogan and Edge are going gambling. Rock comes in and Hogan takes credit for the Wrestlemania match. Rock: “You been forgetting to take your vitamins lately?” He’ll even join them at the casino after some business is taken care of. Rock mocks Hogan a bit behind his back and Edge says Mr. Nanny smoked the Scorpion King. Edge and Rock is an odd visual as their generations mostly never crossed.

Here’s Rock in the arena for the first time in a long time. Before he can get to the point though, he brings in rapper Busta Rhymes to plug an album and movie. This goes nowhere so they sing Under the Boardwalk and of course all of this is edited off the Network. After the singing ends, Rock calls out Undertaker but gets Angle instead.

Kurt thinks he’s the one Rock needs to be worried about because he can make Rock tap just like he did to Hogan. Oh and if Puff Daddy wants a shot, Kurt can make him tap too. Kurt: “I speak that jive!” After taking a bit to figure it out, Rock starts making Dr. Evil jokes. Apparently Angle isn’t a Mike Myers fan (smart man) and wants Rock next week. Rock agrees and puts Angle in the ankle lock until Undertaker comes out to clean house. This was a bit long but Rock vs. Angle should be great.

We recap the Un-Americans interrupting America the Beautiful last week.

Test vs. Rikishi

Rikishi sends him into the steps before the match as his way of standing up for America. The bell rings and Test turns him inside out with the clothesline. For some reason Storm has to hit a superkick, setting up a nearly botched pumphandle slam for two. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop for two but it’s too early for a Stinkface. Not that it matters as the Samoan drop ends Test in a hurry. Short match but they did a lot here, including having part of the new heel stable lose despite interference.

Post match the trio goes fater Rikishi until Edge and Hogan make the save.

Stacy and Vince are about to remove clothing when Jericho comes in to ask nothing in particular. Vince asks that he give up his match against Edge so we can have a Tag Team Title match at the pay per view. Jericho is offered a reward to be named later.

Jamie Noble, Nidia and Tajiri are rather disgusting at a restaurant. Noble talks about how he’s never had anything but the title means he’s not poor anymore. That’s not something I’m naturally going to boo.

We look at the NWO’s actions on Raw. Nash will be out for a long time.

Tajiri/Jamie Noble vs. Hurricane/Billy Kidman

Jamie and Billy run the ropes to start until Hurricane sneaks in with a hot tag to take the champ down. Tajiri comes in and starts snapping off the kicks for a bit until a miss allows the tag off to Kidman. Everything breaks down and some heel miscommunication sets up a Hurricane flip dive. Back in and a super sitout powerbomb ends Noble, likely giving Kidman a future title shot.

Rating: B-. They didn’t stop moving in the time they had but they only had a little over three minutes. Kidman as the next challenger is fine, especially when you consider the winner is just holding the title until Rey Mysterio gets here. Fun match though as the wrestling actually worked for once tonight.

Rock isn’t sure how Coach shrunk and turned to become Marc Lloyd. He went gambling today and the big Vengeance slot machine came up with three Brahma Bulls. Rock will be waiting here to see the end of the show, which sounds like a threat.

Rey Mysterio is coming in two weeks.

John Cena/Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho

Undertaker and Jericho get things going with Chris actually winning the early fist fight. Cena comes in and gets beaten down, only to have Angle go shoulder first into the post. The rookie doesn’t know how to follow up though and Angle snaps him over with a belly to belly.

Some Canadian stomping keeps Cena in trouble until he powerslams Angle for a breather. Undertaker comes in as everything breaks down, including a ref bump. The Angle Slam gets a delayed two on Undertaker and it’s back to Cena. Undertaker saves his new little buddy from the Lionsault and an Oklahoma roll puts Jericho away.

Rating: C+. Cena getting the pin here is important but not as important as him being treated as someone on this level. He might have gotten beaten up a little bit but he hung in there well enough and wasn’t destroyed. You can pencil in Jericho vs. Cena for Vengeance and that should be another good night for Cena.

The brawl continues post match with Undertaker putting Angle in a dragon sleeper. Cue Rock to lay out both guys with Rock Bottoms to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Even with the star power and rookies being pushed, Smackdown continues to be the most middle of the road show ever. The wrestling and storytelling are fine but there’s still very little to actually get excited about. The show certainly isn’t bad but it’s not the most exciting. Changing a few things up can make this a great show though and it’s much better than the horrible Raw shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re in the big city tonight and it’s time for a new challenger to face Undertaker. I know Jeff Hardy is getting a title shot on Raw next week but it’s fairly clear that we’re getting some combination of Rock/HHH/Undertaker for the title at Vengeance. Why Smackdown is getting back to back pay per view title shots isn’t immediately clear. Let’s get to it.

Vince is in the ring and brings out Kurt Angle before leaving. Thanks for showing up boss. At least it was short though. Angle says he might as well be the poster boy for ruthless aggression and goes into his big victory speech for making Hogan tap. The wig is finally removed for good and Angle issues an open challenge to anyone he’s never faced before.

And now, wrestling history. Cole: “Tazz I know this kid. That’s John Cena.” Angle asks why Cena thinks he can come out here and face him like this. Cena says ruthless aggression and slaps the taste out of Angle’s match to start things off in a hurry. You can feel the intensity in him though of course no one knew how big he was based off those ten seconds.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena takes him outside and keeps hammering away before a running splash gets two. Kurt picks the ankle and snaps off the first German suplex to put both guys down. A rollup gets two for Cena but Angle blasts him down with a clothesline. They’re certainly going hard out there and it’s working so far.

Cena throws him off to break a front facelock and gets two off a good looking spinebuster. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for some near falls (Taz: “RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! THERE IT IS!” Is that what it is? Multiple pinfall attempts?) and a powerslam gets the same. Kurt finally has enough and grabs a double chickenwing rollup for the pin.

Rating: B. For a rookie making his debut against a top star, this was a heck of a match as, save for that front facelock, they were going at top speed for the entire match. You can see something in Cena but it takes more than a five minute match to make a career. The presence is there though and that’s something you either have or you don’t.

Cena offers a handshake but Angle walks away. Kurt teases coming back for more but decides it’s not worth it. One important point here: Angle gives a big sigh of relief when he knows Cena can’t see him anymore. Little things like that sell moments like this so much more.

Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi are congratulating Cena when Undertaker comes up. The champ asks his name and extends his hand for a good job. I know I said they need to make new stars but Angle and Undertaker in less than half an hour? That’s a rub that you don’t see very often, if ever.

Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski vs. Billy and Chuck

Hard Val is challenging, apparently after wanting to team up for years. Why they didn’t do so isn’t explained, nor is the fact that they’re making their debut and are apparently the second best tag team on Smackdown on arrival. Chuck charges into a right hand to start but Val does the same, suggesting that he isn’t the best student in the world.

Holly gets beaten down in the corner as Cole praises Billy and Chuck for being surprisingly good. They’re two time Tag Team Champions at this point and you’re still surprised that they’re a good team? That’s slow even for Cole. A belly to back suplex is enough for the hot tag to Val but Rico offers a distraction, setting up the Fameasser to retain.

Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: Venis and Holly are fine for a veteran team and could be perfectly fine as eventual challengers if you give them some promos and a few wins over jobbers. However, since there’s no tag division to speak of, they’re thrown out there against the champs and already lose. Where are they supposed to go from here? Take the time and build a division as you have a bunch of people sitting around (Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi come to mind) doing nothing. Make something up and give them a reason to team. The rest can take care of itself.

Here’s Torrie Wilson to preview the Divas Undressed special. She takes off her robe, walks around in lingerie and that’s it. No angle, no talking, nothing at all. At least it was short.

Tajiri likes looking at Nidia so Jamie Noble offers her to him if they win their tag match later.

HHH has been fighting through an elbow injury and is all tough but had to have it fixed in the operating room. After this deadly operation he’ll be out……FOR TWO TO THREE WEEKS!!! Taz teases he’ll be back next week actually. This got way too much time for something like that, especially when you could just say he was banged up after the pay per view or something.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Storm is here to prove how unfair American referees really are. We’re not ready yet though as we need to look at Mark Henry lifting some 100+ year old 172lb dumbbell. Henry throws him around to start but a rake of the eyes breaks up a press slam. Storm gets tossed outside and then thrown back in because Henry is really strong. Another eye rake gets Storm out of a bearhug and Henry misses a Vader Bomb, setting up the superkick to give Lance the pin. Again: Henry is STRONG. We get it already.

Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He recaps the pay per view main event and takes credit for HHH undergoing elbow surgery. Cole: “HHH is actually OUT of the hospital now!” Undertaker wants to know where Rock thinks he fits into that match and here’s a clip of Sunday’s fighting. Rock will be back here on July 11 (the FULL TIME Rock of course because he doesn’t do this part time nonsense) and Undertaker will make him pay for King of the Ring.

This brings out Kurt Angle of all people, who wants a title shot next week, assuming Undertaker gets by Jeff Hardy on Raw. Undertaker eventually agrees, even though Angle had trouble getting by a rookie tonight. That’s cool with Kurt, but he asks to touch the title. The champ actually lets him do it (moron) and is in the ankle lock almost immediately. You don’t see Undertaker acting that stupid very often and, along with that handshake earlier, suggests a face/tweener turn.

Torrie models more lingerie. Yeah she looks amazing but this is the kind of thing that makes people criticize wrestling.

Test vs. Rikishi

They take turns beating on each other in the corner but the referee won’t let Test throw a punch. Rikishi hits a superkick but gets slowed down by a low blow. The Test Drive is broken up and the ref is bumped, earning Test a DQ loss even though Rikishi shoved him into the ref. I don’t know why wrestling can never learn that no one cares about referee stories.

Test gets a Stinkface before Christian and Storm can come out for the late save.

Vince calls Hogan into his office and the boss is really, really happy about Hogan tapping out on Sunday. Hogan implies that they’ll fight one day and Vince is aghast.

Test rants about how much America sucks.

Billy Kidman/Hurricane vs. Tajiri/Jamie Noble

The bad guys take over to start and Noble has to bail from the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Hurricane as he tries a double chokeslam, only to shove them both down instead. Kidman hiptosses his partner onto Noble but walks into the Tajiri elbow. The Tarantula makes things even worse but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Now the chokeslam works for Hurricane and the shooting star puts Tajiri away.

Rating: C+. They’re getting close to having something with this division as it’s slowly building after being nothing interesting for weeks on end. Add a few more names to the thing, perhaps one being the King of Mystery, and they really could have something special. Imagine that: a division works when you have distinct characters instead of people who look, act and work the same.

Torrie and Stacy Keibler are catty to each other because that’s what women in wrestling do. While wearing lingerie of course.

Torrie, now billed as appetizing, wears a third outfit. Stacy comes out in a schoolgirl outfit and gets a far bigger pop. We’re not done yet as Dawn Marie comes out as well and the blondes get in a catfight. This is so beyond a waste of time.

Chris Jericho isn’t sure what he’ll use to beat Hogan tonight but he’d love to make him tap.

Rey Mysterio is coming.

Reverend D-Von/Deacon Batista vs. Faarooq/Randy Orton

This is Batista’s in ring debut and the first time he’s been seen without a shirt. Orton does his rookie offense on D-Von to start until a dropkick of all things puts Randy down. A superplex is broken up and Orton scores with a middle rope bulldog. Faarooq comes in to clean house but the Dominator is countered with a DDT. It’s already back to Orton for a high crossbody, only to have Batista come in off the blind tag. That wicked clothesline blasts Orton and a spinebuster (with multiple camera cuts, suggesting a botch or an edit) finishes Randy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. They were smart to have Batista only come in at the end for the big power display, making this an effective debut. The thing is you have two teams right here plus the champs and Venis/Holly. These are three teams thrown together in the span of a few weeks and you’re getting close to a division. Simple ideas (gimmick/enforcer, two veterans, veteran/rookie) are fine and can grow into something else until the next big team can be put together. Why is that so complicated?

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Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho

The fans are WAY into Hogan here (hardly shocking in a town like Chicago) as Jericho is backdropped to start. It’s too early for the big elbow though (always seems weird to be anything but a big leg or boot) and Jericho gets in a low blow to take over. The fans are all over Jericho so he does the hand to the ear before going way old school with the abdominal stretch.

Just in case the words ABDOMINAL STRETCH aren’t clear enough, Cole points out that it hurts your gut. Hogan’s comeback is countered as Jericho slides under the big boot (that’s what happens when you stop fighting giants) and hits the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. Jericho has had enough of the Hulking Up and hits Hogan with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here with Jericho doing the work and letting Hogan do all of his spots. This isn’t a case of Hogan showing anyone up and the match was actually fine, all things considered. There’s value in Hogan giving people rubs like this, but he can only do it for so long before it stops mattering.

Jericho loads up a Conchairto the arm but his own countdown comes up. Cue the returning Edge (who Cole can’t recognize from behind despite him having a pretty easy shape to recognize) for the save and beatdown. Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was up and down here but this was ALL about the new talent. That might not always mean new people but it did a lot of good for setting things up for the future. There are skeletons of tag and cruiserweight divisions though that’s not what matters the most.

Tonight we saw a focus on John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton with Rey Mysterio debuting soon. While none of them are stars yet, those four are fresh ideas who could mean something to the company, which isn’t what you get around here. They’re actually setting something up and that’s what matters more than anything else. I liked the show a lot and there’s stuff I want to see instead of all the nonsense that keeps going on around here for so long. Good show here (with the least Vince in a LONG time) and a lot of hope for the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2002
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the final show before King of the Ring 2002 and we’re officially in the Kurt Angle is Bald era. As big of a change as it was, that would wind up being his signature look for years to come and still is to this day. Tonight we wrap up the first round of the tournament to get us down to the final four so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Rock’s speech from Monday. You know, the one where he talks about people needing to stick around as he comes back from another movie hiatus.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle with the wig to get things going. He knows people have been laughing at him but this is serious. The reality is…..he’s bald and he’s been wearing a wig. He’s tried everything from Rogaine to hair tonic to fertilizer but nothing has worked. We look back at the wig being ripped off last week and Angle is distraught. Hogan is the real joke around here because he looks like he’s 100 years old and wears red and yellow boas. Angle is very confused by the hand to the ear thing and promises to make Hogan tap on Sunday.

Cue Hogan to say he’ll beat Angle up and threatens the wig. The fight is on with Hogan getting the better of it until Angle bails. I really don’t get the point of keeping the wig on when we’ve already seen the bald head and Angle acknowledges that he’s bald. Just go Olympic on Hogan and put us out of our misery.

Stacy Keibler is checking out her gear for Divas Undressed when Dawn Marie comes up for the usual “Vince wants to sleep with ME” argument. Torrie Wilson comes up and shows off her underwear to annoy them even more. You know what? I kind of prefer them doing it this way instead of pretending it’s anything else. It’s an excuse to have the women in their underwear so just say that’s what they’re going for.

Rikishi vs. Christian

Christian charges into a backdrop to start but gets the big man in trouble with some right hands to the head. So much for racial stereotypes in wrestling. The Unprettier doesn’t work and a pop up cutter (looked more like a flapjack because Rikishi can never get that right) puts Christian away.

Christian’s foot was on the rope during the pin so Lance Storm comes out to complain. The complaining continues post break with Storm saying it’s because Christian is Canadian. As is so often the case, this goes on too long with Storm ranting about how all Americans are prejudiced and all other countries hate America because they’re so smug.

HHH says he’s getting the title back in three days. Gay jokes are made at Billy Gunn’s expense in preparation for their match later tonight. If there’s a reason to care about HHH as a face, it’s going WAY over my head.

Nidia and Jamie Noble are all fired up for Jamie to become Crusierweight Champion on Sunday. Hurricane’s mask is between Nidia’s legs because that’s amusing or something.

Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Winner gets the title shot on Sunday. I’ll give them a point for having Jamie need a win to become #1 contender instead of just having a newcomer the title shot. A hiptoss sends Kidman outside and Jamie starts in on his arm. Kidman gets in a loud enziguri for a breather but Nidia crotches him on top, setting up an elevated DDT to send Jamie to King of the Ring. I’m already thinking I was wrong on Jamie having to win a match. Was this really necessary if they can’t even have three minutes?

Post match Jamie puts on the mask and cape, drawing out Hurricane for a chokeslam. Hurricane gets the mask back a week after losing it, which is already better than TJ Perkins being asked to lay down so Brian Kendrick can win the title.

Billy vs. HHH

HHH does his full posing so Billy tries a cheap shot. That’s enough selling though so HHH clotheslines him outside and whips Billy into the steps. Back in and a powerslam gives Billy two but instructions to SUCK IT are just too far for HHH, who grabs a neckbreaker. Chuck offers a distraction and Rico gets in a spinning kick to the face….which is followed by a Pedigree to end Billy without much effort.

Rating: D. Just in case the Rikishi/Rico title reign wasn’t enough to crush the titles all over again, this was another great example of how bad the Tag Team Titles are doing at the moment. HHH might as well have been fighting any given jobber here as he shrugged off a triple team attack and won in less than five minutes. What a great use of champions, especially when the titles on Raw are already so worthless.

Kurt comes in and is quickly dispatched, followed by Undertaker coming in to get HHH in trouble. Angle hits Undertaker with a chair by mistake though, which is finally enough to end this segment.

Vince and Stacy talk about the pay per view when Undertaker storms in and demands a match with Angle tonight.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Chris Jericho vs. Big Valbowski

Venis gets jumped to start but comes back with some jobber offense. That just earns him a sleeper drop for two but Jericho’s dropkick is countered into a catapult into the corner. A spinebuster gets a cold two and the referee gets bumped because Val Venis vs. Chris Jericho needs a ref bump. Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets no count but the Blue Thunder Bomb gets a close two. The Walls send Jericho on to King of the Ring a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was better but the same problem that held back the previous match back was present here: there was almost no doubt as to who was winning. Was anyone going to buy Venis as a real threat to take out Jericho? At least they had a few more minutes to work with here and the match was able to go somewhere as a result.

Here’s Rock whole speech from Monday.

Test and Hardcore Holly trash talk.

Vince and Stacy talk Angle into fight Undertaker by having him pretend Undertaker is Hogan.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Test vs. Hardcore Holly

And they wonder why the crowd isn’t interested. A powerslam gives Holly an early near fall but he gets whipped hard into the corner. The full nelson slam is countered into a sloppy rollup for two on Test but a pumphandle slam gets the same on Holly. Back up and the big boot gives Test a shot at Lesnar on Sunday.

Rating: D. This is a good example of why this era is pretty forgotten. Was Test vs. Holly the best they could come up with? If you have to push Test through to the next round (fine enough as another Lesnar victim), wasn’t there ANYONE other that Holly to put him over? The problem: I’m really not sure there is someone else at the moment, which is why they really need to build the roster up in a hurry.

Test says he’ll win because the next big thing is getting the next big boot.

Here are the final four:

Rob Van Dam

Chris Jericho

Test

Brock Lesnar

Vince has Fit Finlay and Johnny Ace get Undertaker and Angle to try to calm things down. Stacy is sent to the hotel, but not before Vince kisses her awkwardly.

Jericho is ready for Rob Van Dam.

We run down Sunday’s card and my goodness this looks horrible.

Vince tells Undertaker and Angle to have a good, clean competition. He demands a handshake but Undertaker doesn’t want to shake the hand of someone who threatened to break his ankle. That’s a fair point actually. A brawl breaks out and Vince gets crushed, putting him on Undertaker’s side.

Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title and Angle grabs a chair before Undertaker comes to the ring. The chair goes nowhere so an early ankle lock sends Undertaker crawling to the ropes. Angle unhooks a turnbuckle pad but of course it’s not that simple. The straps are already down because they don’t have time to do the full formula. A clothesline breaks up the Angle Slam and Kurt is sent back first into the exposed buckle.

Kurt goes face first into the post but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. The hold stays on for over a full minute until Undertaker FINALLY rolls forward for the break. The ankle is fine enough for a chokeslam but here’s HHH for a distraction so Angle can grab a rollup for the pin. Here’s the bigger problem than the minute long ankle lock: the pop that Test got for pinning Holly was far bigger than the one Angle just got for pinning the World Champion.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two of the best of all time have such a worthless match. That ankle lock was horrible and the ending made things even worse. How does this make me want to see either of the two big matches at the pay per view? Undertaker gets pinned and Angle’s finisher can’t beat anyone despite staying on for over a minute. That’s their marketing plan? Really?

Post match HHH beats up Undertaker but here’s Hogan to put Angle in an ankle lock. I’ve never seen him work a decent armbar but he’s making Angle tap to an ankle lock. Undertaker gives Hogan a chokeslam, only to walk into a Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show is in need of a BIG refresh because it’s getting worse and worse. There’s almost no good wrestling as they have to fly through everything, though I can’t figure out what they spent the extra time on. Maybe all the Undertaker and Angle backstage segments or the vignettes hyping up a lingerie show? Either way, this show is downright horrible lately and King of the Ring is looking like a potential disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6