Thunder
Date: April 12, 2000
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Attendance: 3,118
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Mark Madden

This is another show that I rarely talk about due to the high levels of suck which surround it. This was WCW’s second show and this is from a time period where the company was all but dead. This is the go home show for Spring Stampede, meaning that every title in WCW is vacant. Russo’s BRILLIANT idea was to completely restart WCW, meaning all title reigns were cut off two days before this on Nitro with tournaments being held on Sunday at Spring Stampede. Yeah the whole show is nothing but three tournaments and a Hardcore Title match, but first we’ve got to get through the show to set that up. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Russo returning and uniting with Bischoff before vacating all titles. Apparently there was a mini-tournament on Nitro with the winner getting to face Jarrett for the vacated title. Bischoff screwed Hogan over for the sake of Billy Kidman and Russo beat up Flair as well. Apparently Mike Awesome has debuted as well and beat up Kevin Nash. We also got a reveal of Bischoff as the Hummer Driver, which was a payoff to an angle from about ten months ago. I’ve just sat through this recap and I have no idea what happened on Nitro.

Bischoff and Russo arrived earlier today.

David Arquette is here.

Here’s the New Blood Order to open things up. The actual name is the New Blood but pretty much everyone saw them as the latest NWO knockoff. They formed on Nitro two days before this so the roster is still kind of up in the air. It’s Bischoff and Russo with some young talent and that’s about it. Bischoff immediately screws up and says that last night all the titles were vacated (Thunder was taped on Tuesdays to air on Wednesday). Eric talks about Hogan getting hit by a car and being in the hospital as a result. Kidman brags about pinning Hogan and crushing him with the Hummer.

Russo says this town sucks because it isn’t New York. Last night Flair and the people learned that Russo is Batman (he hit Flair with a bat) and that New Yorkers respect no one. When everything is done, Flair will belong to him. Shane Douglas talks about calling out Flair for seven years and says he’s going to Franchise Flair. There’s going to be a chain of Ric Flairs around the country?

Bischoff talks about Sunday being all new champions and how everything is going to change. As for tonight, Jarrett has the night off because we want the playing field to be level for Sunday. His opponent on Sunday, DDP, has the night off as well. However, we will get DDP’s wife Kimberly in the ring against veteran Madusa. This brings out Page with a shirt saying “whatever”, which sums up my attitude about most of these issues.

Page doesn’t have a problem with Bischoff having a problem with Page, but leave Kimberly out of it. DDP wants to fight Bischoff tonight but Eric would rather see what outfit Kimberly wears tonight. Page comes to beat up Bischoff but gets jumped by Bam Bam Bigelow. Cue the old guys (the Millionaires’ Club) for the first big brawl of the show.

We hear about how the other titles will be decided: Tag Titles in a tournament, US Title in a tournament, six way elimination for the Cruiserweight Title, and a singles match for the Hardcore Title. Now who said WCW in 2000 was a mess? That sounds totally coherent.

Chris Candido/Juventud Guerrera/The Artist vs. Lash LeRoux/Crowbar/Shannon Moore

These are the six men in the Cruiserweight Title match on Sunday. The Artist is somewhat more famous as Prince Iaukea. Artist gets beaten down to start before getting things going with Shannon. Things almost break down until we get Lash vs. Candido. Someone throws in a beach ball and here’s David Flair to dance with Artist’s chick Paisley (Booker T’s real life wife Sharmell). Juvy pounds on Shannon as the match continues to be all over the place.

Moore hits a Fameasser to put Guerrera down and it’s off to Crowbar. A quick northern lights suplex gets two for Crowbar but a headscissors sends him out to the floor. Crowbar and Flair get in a fight on the floor but Candido dives on both of them to take them out. Artist and Candido start fighting on the floor so Lash dives on everyone. Juvy sends Moore to the apron before diving onto everyone not named Shannon.

Moore hits a BIG Asai Moonsault onto all five guys as everyone is down. Shane Helms, Moore’s partner, interferes but here’s Daffney, Crowbar’s chick, to take Shane down with a hurricanrana. Back inside and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver (scoop piledriver) on Crowbar but Candido and Artist hit a double DDT on Crowbar for two. Candido adds a top rope headbutt for one on Crowbar before Artist hits his jumping middle rope DDT on Candido (his own partner) to let Crowbar hit a front suplex for the pin on Chris.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t boring. It wasn’t really a tag match and I completely lost track of who was on what team more than once, but it wasn’t boring. To be fair though that’s the entire idea here and the point of the match was to set up the big match on Sunday where it’s going to be every man for himself. A pair of triple threats would have been the better idea here but it was all over the place and not boring, so at least there’s that.

DDP says he’s going to rip Jarrett’s head off on Sunday. He wants Bigelow tonight.

Russo and Bischoff make Sid vs. Harlem Heat 2000 for later.

Sting was at the Ready to Rumble premiere.

Curt Hennig jumps Shawn Stasiak in the dressing room in retaliation for an attack on Monday.

Sid vs. Harlem Heat 2000

That would be Big T (Ahmed Johnson), Kash (4×4 from the No Limit Soldiers who you probably don’t remember) and Stevie Ray. This is No DQ and if Sid loses, he’s not in the US Title Tournament. Sid clears the ring to start but can’t chokeslam the lawyer manager J. Biggs. T and Ray get back in and beat Sid down but T is so fat that he can barely do anything right at all. A splash gets two for Kash but New Blood member Booker (he had lost the rights to the letter T to Harlem Heat. Yeah, seriously) makes the save and lets Sid powerbomb Stevie for the pin. This was barely a match.

Immediately after the bell, The Wall (he used to hang out with Berlyn. Again, yeah seriously) cracks Sid with a chair.

Bischoff and Russo are mad at Booker for betraying them.

Sid is still down in the ring so here’s Bischoff to disqualify Sid…..in a No DQ match. In other words, Sid is out of the tournament.

Bischoff yells at Booker in the back in front of the New Blood members.

Shane Douglas vs. Total Package

Luger (Total Package. This was the best thing they could come up with to “develop” his character. He’s the same exact guy) and Flair are partners and Douglas hates Flair so here’s a match to set up the obvious tournament final on Sunday. Luger pounds away to start and apparently tonight it’s Bigelow vs. Page.

Shane makes a comeback and hits his belly to belly suplex, which would win world titles in ECW but here it’s a way for him to go up top and get slammed down. We head to the floor so Luger can clothesline him down and Luger takes over. Since this is a three minute match on the secondary show, there’s the ref bump, the low blow by Shane and the run-in by Flair. He hits Douglas low too and the Rack ends Shane.

Rating: D. Again, three and a half minutes long on the Wednesday B-show and we had a ref bump, two low blows and a run-in. I think by this point it’s clear what’s wrong with Russo’s booking. You know, aside from Lex Luger being an upper midcard guy in April of 2000 instead of like, retired.

Jimmy Hart can’t get Eric Bischoff’s attention.

Later tonight, if Luger interferes in Bagwell vs. Flair, there will be suspensions. In other words, we need a special ruling to prevent interference because it’s that common anymore.

We get an update on Hogan who was in a limo and then crushed by a Bischoff-driven Hummer on Monday (culmination of a LONG storyline with about a ten month break in between to the point that no one remembered the stupid thing anymore). Hogan is out for two weeks.

Here’s Jimmy Hart to the ring who wants some answers from Bischoff about why he did that to Hogan on Nitro. Hart talks about being the liaison between Hogan and Bischoff over the years but gets interrupted by Billy Kidman and Bischoff. Kidman sprints to the ring and beats up Hart, as this is part of the Flea Market feud.

Basically Hogan said Kidman couldn’t be champion of a flea market so Kidman went after him. This is the feud that people point to when they say Hogan gave young guys rubs. The problem is Kidman never beat Hogan clean and Hogan made him look like a jobber the entire way through. Kidman spray paints Hart’s back to make the NWO rip-offs all the more clear.

Page tells Kimberly she’s not going to the ring. Kimberly says yes she is.

Scott Steiner vs. Booker vs. Vampiro vs. Billy Kidman vs. The Wall vs. The Cat

This is a Colorado Collision match and these are the six guys in the US Title tournament so far. Two guys start and one minute later someone else comes in. Elimination rules apply and last man standing wins. Booker and Wall start things off with the far more famous one pounding away. Wall immediately shoves him into the corner for some choking but Booker comes back with a slam and the ax kick for no cover as Wall pops up. Cat (Ernest Miller) comes out early and superkicks Booker to the floor.

Wall chokeslams Booker through his table (it was his prop) and since both guys are counted out, it’s time for Cat to dance. Actually he talks a lot and gets Scott Steiner instead. Steiner gets in some hard shots but Miller hits a GREAT superkick to take Steiner’s head off. That looked awesome. Kidman is fifth along with Torrie but he’s content to let Steiner beat up Miller for awhile instead. Steiner goes to pose so Kidman runs in to pin Miller and get us down to two. Vampiro is in last as Steiner pins Kidman with a belly to belly. Before there’s any contact, Sting comes in and lays out Vampiro so the Steiner Recliner can get the win.

Rating: D. Again, in a six man gauntlet match, we managed to have a run-in. Steiner barely even broke a sweat here and would run through the tournament like a roided up freak destroying a bunch of guys way beneath him and Sting in an overbooked tournament. Nothing to this match again as everyone lost in like 90 seconds.

Team Package (yes really. It’s Flair/Luger/Liz) freak out with Flair saying he’ll beat up Russo.

Madusa vs. Kimberly Page

Kimberly looks GREAT here in barely there leather shorts and a bright green top. I’m sure there’s nothing to the fact that she’s in DX colors and dressed exactly like DX member Tori. Madusa is basically Chyna so she destroys Kimberly for a bit until DDP comes in for the save and the DQ.

Terry Funk/Norman Smiley vs. Hugh Morrus/Meng vs. Brian Knobbs/Fit Finlay

This is a hardcore triple threat tag match and the winners fight for the Hardcore Title on Sunday. Tony tries to talk us into buying Spring Stampede instead of Backlash which is so pitiful it’s cute. Meng and Knobbs fight into the crowd before the bell and good luck in trying to keep track of this mess. Morrus knocks Smiley into the crowd and Norman screams a lot. They head to the stage and Morrus sets up a table but let’s go back to Punk vs. Finlay in the ring.

Morrus misses a dive off the stage through the table as we see Meng and Knobbs fighting in the back. Meng has a drink thrown on him and there’s a trashcan on top of it. Tony: “TO THE CONDIMENTS!” Meng makes his comeback….and stops to spear a cardboard cutout of Goldberg. He then breaks it over Knobbs’ head as they go outside. Knobbs charges at a railing and goes flying over, with Tony saying it could be a thirty foot drop. Now they’re stealing ideas from Halloween Havoc 1995. Let that sink in a bit.

We cut back and forth between the two brawls and Norman hides inside a big cat head that hockey players skate out of to start a game. Morrus charges and crotches himself on a tusk as we cut to Finlay DDTing Funk on the exposed concrete. Finlay puts up a table in the corner instead of covering, meaning of course Funk sends him through said table.

A piledriver on the piece of table puts Finlay down and here’s the run-in by Dustin Rhodes to beat up Funk. There are some Shattered Dreams for Funk and a chair shot for good measure. Rhodes pounds on Funk before heading to the floor…..so Smiley can run in and pin his own partner for the win and the title match.

Rating: D. Between the apparent death of Brian Knobbs, a Goldberg cardboard cutout used as a weapon, condiments, crotching Hugh Morrus on a cat tusk and that ending, what more do you expect me to think of this match? Not to mention we’re now 6/6 on matches having interference tonight with three more to go.

Eric and Vince give Los Villanos a pep talk for their handicap match against Sting. Apparently Sting has to beat all of them as opposed to Sid only needing one pin.

Sting vs. Los Villanos

The Villanos are III, IV and V and remember Sting has to beat them all. They all jump Sting to start but Sting Hulks Up and fights them all off like they’re uh…Los Villanos. Sting hits a double Death Drop to eliminate let’s say III and IV and we get a ref bump. Sting beats up V but takes a low blow on a leapfrog. V hits a low blow of his own and goes to get a guitar. Sting gets cracked in the head and V unmasks to reveal Jeff Jarrett. Page runs in for a Diamond Cutter to give Sting the pin and make us 7/7 for run-ins tonight. Too short to rate but it was an angle disguised as a match.

Jeff Jarrett threatens to knock Gene’s liver spots off if he doesn’t shut up. He’s coming for Arquette and Page tonight.

Buff Bagwell vs. Ric Flair

Flair is in street clothes for no apparent reason. According to Tony it’s because he’s fighting the New Blood instead of wrestling. Buff takes over to start and hits a quick backdrop followed by some clotheslines to take Ric down. There are some knees to Flair’s arm as this is one sided so far. Yes Flair getting beaten down in a Bischoff booked company. Flair comes back with an elbow and some punches in the corner before they head to the floor where Russo in a Sting costume (stealing from 1997) blasts Flair with a bat for the DQ. Another match too short to rate and another run-in.

Douglas and Luger run in post match with the New Blood guys standing tall.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Bigelow takes him into the corner to pound away but Page comes back with shots to the head of his own. A discus lariat gets two for Page but Bam Bam comes back with a Samoan drop for two. We hit a camel clutch and Page slaps the mat but it doesn’t count here. Bigelow drops a headbutt on the bad back of Page for two.

Page fights out of a powerbomb for two of his own and a neckbreaker gets the same. The Cutter is countered into the third ref bump of the night but Bigelow misses the top rope headbutt. Now the Cutter hits but Bischoff runs in to count two before straightening his head. Jarrett cracks Page with a guitar as the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. NINE FOR NINE BABY! The match was once again a means to an end here so we could have Page and Jarrett brawl to end the show. By brawl of course I mean a weapon shot and a beatdown but that’s interesting TV under Russo’s watch. Nothing to see here though, much like the rest of the show tonight.

David Arquette tries to make the save but gets beaten down with a Stroke. He would be world champion in two weeks. Now Kanyon runs in to beat up Jarrett but Bischoff lays HIM out with a chair. The New Blood runs in and spray paint everyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show is VERY interesting to say the least. For one thing, how in the world can you manage to book three ref bumps and NINE RUN-INS IN ONE SHOW??? That takes either an amazing talent or complete insanity. On top of that, this was all to set up a bunch of new champions at Spring Stampede, and over half of those titles would change hands in less than a month. Oh and Kimberly would join the New Blood on Sunday because…..well why not. Anyway, this show is a great lesson in Russo booking as he managed to fit ALL THIS into 90 minutes, and somehow it would only get worse.

Here’s Spring Stampede if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/03/spring-stampede-2000-if-you-like-tournaments-find-this-show-immediately/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

On Impact Angle unmasked the second in command and was shocked at who he saw.  He said “how could you” as he looked down at the guy, which means it’s someone we’ve probably known all along.  The most likely suspects are:Hogan: He’s a suspect for the leader of any heel stable because that’s the best idea TNA can come up with.

Joe: It would be a swerve, which is what TNA does most often.  It wouldn’t make sense but it would be the most likely pick probably.

Park/Abyss: Again it would be a surprise, but can you picture either character as the leader of a biker gang?

Bully Ray: Yeah he was in the ring on a live show seconds before this happened, but why should that stop them?

Brooke: Not the size, but if it gets Brooke a more prominent role on TV, why not do it?

Matt Morgan: He popped up on Impact for the first time in months at the same time the VP arrived, which sounds to be too much to be a coincidence to me.

D’Lo Brown: He’s been mentioned for months as a member of the team and there were small hints to it being him months ago, but to call this an underwhelming development would be the understatement of all time.

Eric Bischoff: Same reason as Hulk.

AJ Styles: The motorcycle he rode off on would seem to be a clue, but AJ was doing fine when the whole story started which would make a lot less sense.  it would however give us a top star in Aces and 8’s, which is what they need more than anything.

Jeff Jarrett: He’s been mentioned as a potential leader for months but why would that shock Angle, who has feuded on and off with Jarrett for years now?

At the end of the day, I’m going with either Joe or Park as VP with Eric Bischoff winding up as the leader/mastermind of the whole thing.  Not that either of them would be a great pick, but this is TNA where the reveals of leaders are rarely anything good.

Thoughts/predictions?

Monday Nitro #110
Date: October 20, 1997
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 5,950
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re finally at the go home show for Halloween Havoc and the show is on the hottest streak it’s been on since it first started. We’ve had three weeks straight of good to excellent show and hopefully things continue in that direction from here. After last week it’s very clear that Sting vs. Hogan is coming in the very near future but tonight it’s the final push towards Hogan vs. Piper in the cage. Let’s get to it.

We open with the NWO b-team laid out in the back. We see the letters DDP spray painted on various things along with Piper t-shirts and ball bats on the ground.

In the arena Hogan and Bischoff storm the ring, yelling about improper leadership from Piper and various other things in general. Hogan calls it a bunch of crap and Savage joins in for more yelling. The announcers of course laugh.

There’s a cage above the ring.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending in match #4857 of about 58379 between these two. Eddie shoves him to start so Benoit runs him over with a shoulder block. They chop it out before Benoit launches him into the air in a release flapjack. Benoit stomps away in the corner but Eddie comes back with strikes of his own. Very fast paced stuff so far. A dropkick puts Benoit back into the corner but Eddie misses a charge and is launched face first into the buckle. The Canadian chops away in the corner and knocks Eddie out to the floor.

Back in and Guerrero snap mares Benoit down before taking some skin off with a chop. Benoit will have none of that though and puts Eddie on the apron before chopping him into the barricade. A suicide dive takes Guerrero out and we take a break back with the champion holding an abdominal stretch but Benoit arm drags out of it.

Eddie comes back with a headscissors and more chops in the corner. We’re told that Hennig is still US Champion after last week’s messy ending which is the wrong call but whatever. Benoit tries a tornado DDT out of the corner but gets sent into the middle buckle for his efforts. The Frog Splash retains the title clean.

Rating: B-. Really solid opening match here with both guys chopping the tar out of each other every time they were in the corner. Benoit knocked himself silly by hitting that buckle so the Frog Splash was academic. Good match here but that goes without saying when it’s these two. Their chemistry is some of the best of all time and this was no exception. Somehow, this was Eddie’s worst match of the week by miles and miles.

We get the ending of the US Title match last week which somehow keeps the title on Hennig. That was a pretty bad screwup.

Bill Goldberg vs. Wrath

Wrath’s entrance takes about two minutes to get through. The match: spear, Jackhammer, pin in 20 seconds. Wrath didn’t even get his helmet and coat off. We also get an error from Tenay who calls the Jackhammer a combination suplex and powerbomb instead of a powerslam. This would be back in the day when Tenay was the smartest guy in wrestling and might have made one error a month if he was having a bad night.

Goldberg shouts WHO’S NEXT in the aisle before getting in a staredown with Mongo who is coming out for his match. Sounds like Goldie has a feud coming.

Steve McMichael vs. Mortis

Mongo jumps Mortis to start and Vandenberg is freaking out on the floor over possibly losing two matches in a row that fast. Mongo pounds away in the corner but Vandenberg protects his investment by tripping up Mongo, allowing Mortis to hit a quick Flatliner (Samoan Drop off the middle rope) to get control. A Death Valley drier gets the same and McMichael is thrown to the floor. The suplex from the middle rope (just the rope, not in the corner) brings Mongo back in for two but Mongo shrugs it off. He hits a few three point shoulders and the tombstone for the pin on Mortis out of almost nowhere.

Rating: D+. This was on the higher end for Mongo although I’m not sure this was the best way in the world to set him up for a match against a machine like Goldberg. Somehow Mongo would be around until 1999 and would still get to hang out with Ric Flair until the very end. I’m not sure what the appeal was of the guy other than his football stuff, because it certainly wasn’t anything of note between the ropes. This wasn’t awful though.

Raven is at a playground and talks about his bad childhood. He sits on a slide as he talks about this, which prompts a quick sidebar: why do we not get promos on location anymore? Taking people outside of the arena can add a lot to the promos, if nothing else just for a change of scenery. Look at HELL NO having their segments in a meeting room. It worked far better than it would have in the back and got funnier results when we put these guys in the real world. Why don’t we see more of that?

Time for Lucha Libre and the Mexican Luchadores. This time we focus on Rey Mysterio who talks about how he used wrestling to get out of a barrio in Mexico City. He got his name from his uncle but has surpassed his uncle’s success. Rey talks about how important the mask is to him but isn’t sure what would happen without being able to wear it. Nice way to tie this into the match on Sunday.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Yuji Nagata

Nagata pounds away to start and the kicks start ripping into Juvy seconds after the bell. A big boot to the face misses though as Raven and the Flock arrives. Juvy charges into a powerbomb but elbows out of a German suplex grip. A quick rana puts Nagata down for two and Juvy chops away. Nagata misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the back with a missile dropkick. I might as well watch this match on mute as the announcers are talking about the NWO non-stop. Onoo crotches Juvy as Dragon comes out to take care of Sonny. The Nagata Lock ends Juvy in a short match.

Dragon goes after Onoo but runs into Nagata for some double teaming by the evil ones.

Los Villano vs. Damian/???

We don’t find out the partner as Giant comes out and destroys everyone in sight. Giant talks about Kevin Nash lying about being the true giant of wrestling. The luchadores try to fight the Giant and get powerbombed for their efforts. The build for one of Starrcade’s big matches begins.

Savage talks about Page and the PPV. Short and nothing out of the ordinary here.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio speeds things up to start and gets a fast rana for two. Rey charges in again but gets caught in a powerbomb for no cover by the champion. Disco heads to the floor for no apparent reason and allows Rey to hit a baseball slide. Back inside and a sunset flip gets two on Disco so Rey goes to the apron. He hits a kind of messed up cross body and loads up the West Coast Pop but Eddie comes out for the DQ.

Eddie goes for the mask, but who cares about that because IT’S JACKIE TIME!!! She comes out to beat up Disco and the champion runs. Please get to Sunday so we can move on to ANYONE but Jackie.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s the NWO again with Hogan going on a RANT about how Page, Piper and Sting are cowards for what they did earlier tonight. Bischoff says no one is leaving the arena tonight until those three get out here. Trash is thrown and Eric says that Vince is afraid of him. I have no idea what that has to do with anything but it’s the end of a short appearance from the bad guys.

US Title: Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

Hennig is still champion coming into this. Curt is a big banged up from being attacked earlier so he’s in slow motion tonight. They both grab a fast hammerlock but Dean is in better condition so he rolls the champ up for two. Hennig bails to the floor for a bit to clear his head before getting droppkicked down back inside. After that gets two we take a quick break.

Back with Hennig suplexing Dean down for a quick two. Dean fights up and hooks a chinlock which isn’t exactly something you would expect from a good guy. Back up and Hennig tries to fight back, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. Thankfully the NWO is involved in this match so the announcers actually give it some attention. Dean goes up top and hits a cross body for a VERY close two, only to walk into the HennigPlex for the pin a few seconds later. Oddly abrupt ending.

Rating: C. Not either guy’s best work here as the match never really got going. They were going through the motions pretty bad here which is really surprising given how awesome Malenko was back in 1997. Hennig would be facing Flair in the future to get him back to matches that actually mattered. At least Dean got to hang in here with someone on a higher level.

Nitro Girl time.

Scott Norton vs. Ray Traylor

Oh come on. Did THIS match really need a rematch? Seriously? As the match starts, Traylor has to scare off Vincent, allowing Norton to his a fast (kind of?) powerslam for two. We get the slow offense that you would expect from Norton: knees in the corner, clothesline, clubs to the back, all in slow motion. Ray comes back with a splash in the corner and a spinebuster, followed by a fat man enziguri of all things. He hits his sliding uppercut before going up (?) and hitting a fat man cross body, only to get painted in the eyes by Vincent. A clothesline ends Traylor.

Rating: D. Again, did ANYONE think we needed to see this match? Also, Traylor gets to lose again, making sure that he gets no momentum behind him and making sure that the NWO D team is made to look strong, because we certainly can’t have Scott freaking Norton do a job on Nitro right?

Traylor gets beaten down by Hall, Konnan, Norton and Vincent post match.

We get an ad for Assault on Devil’s Island. Oh that’s going to be bad.

Booker T. vs. Lex Luger

We’re still months if not years away from Booker meaning anything. Lex throws Booker around to start and poses a lot to start things off. T. comes back with a forearm to surprise Luger but Luger comes back with a powerslam. The jumping elbow misses Booker of course (did that thing EVER hit?) but Booker’s elbow misses too. He Spinaroonis up though and kicks Lex down before hooking a chinlock.

That goes about as far as a chinlock can go as Lex fights up and ducks a side kick, sending Booker into the ropes. The forearm puts Booker down but he manages to block the Torture Rack. A spin kick puts Luger down but the Harlem Hangover (top rope flipping legdrop) only hits mat. The Torture Rack is enough for the tap out a few seconds later.

Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here as Booker showed some of the skills that he would get to really put on display months later. Luger continues to have very little to do going into the PPV as we’re getting closer to the match with Hall. No Larry or Hall here which is kind of surprising.

Luger has nothing of note to say post match but Larry comes out and says he’ll be an impartial referee on Sunday.

Here’s Hall for the Survey. You know the drill I’m sure.

Scott Hall vs. Scott Steiner

Hall is Hall and Scott is Steiner here for the sake of simplicity. This is a return match from last week with the Steiners winning the titles. Hall hits the driving shoulders to start things off but Steiner runs him over. Hall comes back with a kind of suplex/backdrop to set up an armbar. Steiner won’t have any of this being suplexed stuff so he throws Hall down as well before clotheslining him out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Steiner messing with Hall’s hair. There’s a full nelson and Hall looks drunk. Odds are he is so I’m guessing the hold is working fine. Hall breaks it up by ramming Scott into the corner and clotheslining him down. The fallaway slam gets two on Scott and he makes fun of Giant with a chokeslam. Hall walks around like Frankenstein’s Monster before hooking an abdominal stretch. After over a minute of the hold, Hall gets caught holding the rope and the referee breaks things up.

Steiner grabs an abdominal stretch of his own but instead uses it for a pumphandle slam. There’s an overhead belly to belly to put Hall down again and a Steiner Line does the same. Hall ducks a second Steiner Line and punches the referee, wanting a DQ. Instead there’s a Tiger Bomb from Scott but there’s no one to count. Hall comes back though and hits the Outsider’s Edge as a hooded black referee comes in to count the pin. It’s Vincent if you couldn’t tell.

Rating: C-. Not bad here with Steiner getting to show off some skills here. He’s about to turn heel and become Big Papa Pump though and end one of the best tag teams ever. Hall was in two feuds at once here which left him kind of in the middle of nowhere, as he didn’t get to focus on one or the other. He’s spent two weeks fighting the Steiners and now he gets to fight Luger on Sunday. Why they didn’t do the tag title change later (or at Road Wild when it would have made sense) is anyone’s guess but it would have made things easier.

Here’s the NWO for the third or fourth time tonight to close the show. They want the attackers here right now and they prove it by having Bischoff rip on McMahon some more. Hogan gets to plug his movie but here’s Sting. By Sting I of course mean “Sting.” As he’s coming down the aisle, two more Stings come through the crowd and jump the NWO. It’s Piper and Page of course. The cage lowers and Sting repels from the ceiling to beat up the NWO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well you knew the hot streak wasn’t going to last forever. We’re limping into the show on Sunday and the cage match is going to reach levels of bad that you didn’t think were possible before this match. As for tonight though, the show was slow and long which aren’t two things you want to mix together. There’s some good stuff in this but it’s definitely an episode you could skip.

Here’s Halloween Havoc if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/02/23/halloween-havoc-1997-age-in-the-cage-and-one-of-wcws-best-matches-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #107
Date: September 29, 1997
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re getting closer to Halloween Havoc and to the best of my memory, nothing has been officially set for the card yet. Hogan vs. Sting is starting to heat up as Piper is trying as hard as he can to get the match set by the end of the year. Other than that tonight we’re likely to get another appearance by Goldberg who debuted last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual from Tony and the Nitro Girls.

Video on Page vs. Savage, which I’m sure will be discussed tonight.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell

At least Kimberly looks great tonight. They stare at each other for awhile to start before Bagwell armdrags him down, meaning it’s time to dance. A shoulder block puts DDP down as well as we’re in slow motion still. Raven is in the front row again with Richards behind him. Page comes back with a clothesline and a second one sends him out to the floor. A pescado hits Bagwell and Page rips up a sign for no apparent reason. Back in and Buff hurts his own knee off a leapfrog attempt. I smell a freshly painted gold brick and indeed I’m correct.

Buff takes over and chokes away as we hear that Larry is going to referee a match at Halloween Havoc. Bagwell stops to tell the camera that he is indeed this good looking and here’s Page with a comeback. An atomic drop sets up more punches from DDP but Buff blocks the Diamond Cutter. Bagwell and the referee argue, allowing Page to get two off a rollup. Vincent tries to cheat so Page gets sent into a distracted referee. There’s the Diamond Cutter to both Vincent and Buff and the referee comes in for the three count.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than I was expecting with the crowd staying hot almost the entire time. Page overcoming the odds like this including having to beat both Vincent and Bagwell was a solid idea as Bagwell has nothing to lose. This was a solid choice for an opener and it got the crowd going which is the right idea.

Page climbs into the crowd and runs into Raven for a staredown.

Apparently Mike Tenay went down to Mexico and has filmed a bunch of mini documentaries about lucha libre. We get a preview here, talking about how big lucha libre is and the importance of family in the business. I remember thinking these were interesting back in the day.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. El Caliente

Caliente is a masked guy who looks a lot like Eddie Guerrero. Whoever he is he jumps Rey from behind and steals the mask that Mysterio was going to give to a fan. Rey has his back rammed into the buckle and Caliente hits Eddie’s slingshot hilo. Mysterio comes back with a standing Lionsault into an armdrag as things speed up. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Caliente down but he comes back with an elbow to the face. Rey counters a suplex into an armdrag but the much bigger guy pounds Mysterio down.

Caliente goes for the mask as Tenay talks about lucha de apuestas (bet matches). The fans start chanting Eddie as they’re in on the joke now. A BIG powerbomb gets two for Calieddie and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Even Tony knows something is up now, and if Tony Schiavone can figure it out, the secret is pretty obvious. A superplex puts Mysterio down but Caliente stops himself from using the Frog Splash. They head to the corner where Rey hits an INSANE double jump into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: C+. Solid match here with a great looking ending but it would be blown away by their rematch at Halloween Havoc. Eddie and Rey had some amazing chemistry together and the fans loved almost every match they ever had. Good stuff here and a nice idea with the mask to mix things up a bit.

Post match the mask is taken off and of course it’s Eddie.

Giant says he’s coming for revenge on Hennig tonight. Sting is in the audience as he says this.

Bill Goldberg vs. Barbarian

Neither guy gets an entrance. Tenay has some facts about Goldberg now: he played football at the University of Georgia and for the Atlanta Falcons. Feeling out process to start before Goldberg hits a shoulder block to stagger Barbarian. A DROPKICK of all things sends Barbie out to the floor. Now there’s something I never thought I would see from Goldberg. Goldie goes up top but gets crotched for taking too much time.

As Barbarian pounds away on him, we get a split screen of Goldberg’s win last week. Are they running REALLY behind on time already or something? They don’t even have time to show that pre-match? Goldberg charges into a powerslam but comes back with a clothesline and hits a knee drop. His offense is totally different than it would become eventually. Actually scratch that as the Jackhammer ends this clean. No spear yet but he does have generic rock music here.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special but the angle of having someone brand new out there getting wins is a very interesting idea. We see this a lot, but having someone completely anonymous is a twist on it. Goldberg’s past never would be filled in and there’s nothing wrong with that. You didn’t need a character for him, which is something modern wrestling forgets at times. Just having someone being tough works quite well and Goldberg is the classic example.

Okerlund still can’t get a word with Goldberg so instead he brings over Larry Z. to talk about the match he’s refereeing at Halloween Havoc. Apparently it’s Luger vs. Hall and Larry isn’t going to cheat because it would make the victory cheap. True actually.

Tony plugs Nitro dates as the Nitro Girls dance. He also apologizes for walking out two weeks ago due to Flair’s injuries, which I don’t think anyone was complaining about. Flair has an announcement later tonight.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera

Disco is defending after winning the title in a shocker last week. Feeling out process to start as Larry and Mike talk about a wrestling ballet dancer they used to know. Juvy hits a fast rana to start and a springboard dropkick followed by a spinwheel kick. The champion heads to the floor and there’s a big flip dive to take him out again. Back in and the Inferno counters a rana attempt into a hot shot to take over. Disco pounds away on the back and stomps in the corner.

Alex Wright comes out in some loud yellow pants to dance at the entrance way as Disco is in full control. As the champion goes for a cover, Wright puts Juvy’s foot on the rope. Guerrera uses the distraction to grab a rollup for two and a spin kick gets the same. Jackie comes out to yell at Wright as the match is completely ignored. She trips up Juvy for no apparent reason and a front suplex by Disco retains the belt.

Rating: D. Juvy’s parts were good but this is Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera in a five minute match for the lower card title. Did we really need two people interfering as part of a feud that hasn’t been fully explained yet? The match wasn’t terrible but the overbooking brings it down a good bit.

Hour #2 begins and here’s the NWO with something to say. This incarnation would be Savage and Liz with the former warning Piper to not mess with his match with Page. Oh and Savage wants Sting too, much like everyone else in the NWO.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael

The fans are all over Jarrett here as Tony talks about the problems between Steve and Debra. Apparently they’ve split and Debra lives in Georgia now. Jarrett takes him down and struts a bit, only to charge into a half Rock Bottom half Boss Man Slam. A forearm puts Jarrett down again and a big boot puts him on the floor. We take a break and come back with a fight on the floor and McMichael going head first into the post twice in a row. Debra takes this opportunity to talk about how pretty she is.

Back inside they go and Debra pulls on Steve’s hair from the floor. McMichael comes back with a suplex and the fans react rather positively. There’s a sleeper from Jeff and Bobby gives about four ways to get out of it. Heenan is a lot of things but a good analyst isn’t usually one of them. McMichael escapes and hooks a sleeper of his own but Jarrett quickly suplexes out of it.

A shot into the buckle does no damage to Mongo’s head so Jarrett tries it two more times. Mongo pounds away in the corner and hits a side slam. As McMichael loads up the tombstone, Jarrett counters with a jawbreaker. It’s time to work on the leg but Steve kicks off the Figure Four. Mongo and Debra get in an argument though, allowing Jarrett to hit a fast dropkick and get a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. As usual with these two, it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t interesting at all. Jarrett never really got over as a heel in this run, although the crowd chants at the start of the match were a good sign. Regarding Mongo, earlier tonight I watched the end of Wrestlemania 11 and saw Lawrence Taylor in his only match ever as a wrestler. In that ten or so minute match, Taylor showed more fire and potential than McMichael showed in his entire career. The guy just wasn’t that good and there’s not much else to it than that.

The announcers talk about Sting.

We get a clip from last week of Scott Hall beating up Mark Curtis.

Chris Jericho vs. Syxx

Hall is at ringside with Syxx here and is on crutches. Syxx hooks that jumping headlock of his (the one where he looks like he’s having a fit) but gets sent off the ropes and caught in a powerslam. Syxx comes back with a spin kick and we get the crane pose from Karate Kid. Jericho gets chopped in the corner and gives a look that says “I would beat the tar out of you for that if I could move a muscle right now).

A kind of Michinoku Driver puts Jericho down but a kind of Swanton Bomb misses. Syxx heads to the apron and gets caught by the springboard dropkick to knock him to the floor. A running dive takes Syxx down again and we head back inside. Jericho gets two off a cross body from the top and there’s a giant swing.

The Lionsault looks to set up the Liontamer (Walls of Jericho) but a Hall distraction lets Syxx hook the Buzzkiller (crossface chickenwing) for….no submission as Hall come sin to rub the referee’s stomach. Jericho is still in the hold but here’s Larry Z to break it up. Luger comes out to even the odds and the match is thrown out. The NWO bails.

Rating: C. This was pretty decent but it was about the post match stuff more than the match. That’s perfectly fine as Jericho didn’t mean all that much yet although that would change soon enough. Zbyszko vs. Hall was a nice idea for a feud, but a little more explanation of why they’re fighting and what their history was (they fought in the AWA a bit but that was never specified on Nitro) would have helped.

Here’s Flair’s announcement on the phone. Tony sounds like a lover hearing Ric for the first time when he wakes up from a coma. Flair says that he respects the fans and wants no one to feel sorry for him. He thanks Hennig for giving him the wakeup call that he needed and promises to be back to settle the score. He’ll also be coming for the robe that Hogan stole from him. Now for the major announcement: the Horsemen are officially disbanded. It’s not fair to them to put their careers on hold and worry about Flair all the time. Flair promises illegal and immoral revenge on Hennig and the NWO. Solid stuff here as expected.

Here’s Bischoff with something else to say. Eric complains about Sting being here when Hogan isn’t here because Sting is clearly scared. Hogan has been calling out Sting for weeks, so why didn’t Sting show up then? Bischoff things Piper and Sting are in cahoots and dares Sting to try to help Piper at Halloween Havoc.

Lex Luger vs. Wrath

Luger pounds away to start and the fans are hot as usual. We hear about Mongo and Jarrett fighting in the background. Talk about it all you want, just please don’t make us have to watch it. Luger misses a charge into the corner and Wrath gets to take over for a bit. Wrath is one of those guys that got a very strong push at various times but then he had to talk. That hayseed voice of his was something he never could overcome. Anyway this is exactly what you would expect: Wrath hits some big power moves including a top rop clothesline but Luger reverses a suplex to come back. Punches, clotheslines, Rack, submission.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as usual. Luger beating up monsters has become played out by now due to how often it happens anymore. I’ll give him this though: the fans never seem to get bored with him, so why mess with a winning formula? Wrath continues to look better than I ever remember him looking.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit and Bischoff takes Heenan’s spot in the announce booth.

Curt Hennig vs. Giant

Non-title. Giant throws Hennig around as you would expect him to before spitting on him in the corner. There’s what we would call a Stinkface and Curt falls to the floor. Giant suplexes him back in and chops away as this is one sided so far. A knee lift sends Hennig flying but he avoids a charge to send Giant out to the floor. Back in and Hennig hits a PERFECTPLEX on Giant. And it was an AWESOME one too! Giant of course pops out at two and hits the chokeslam but here’s the NWO for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This gets a decent grade for that Perfectplex alone. Hennig got him up in the air and even hooked the leg for a good bridge. I never would have expected him to be capable of doing that. The match was what you would expect other than that though and was barely long enough to grade.

Giant fights off the troops for a bit but the numbers (and a belt shot from Norton) catch up to him. Sting comes out for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best episodes of the show in a long time. Almost all of the matches were crisp and fast paced and we built up Halloween Havoc at the same time. Given all of the nonsense that came out of WCW, a lot of people forget how awesome they could be at times. This was a good example of that as the show was great and flew by. Good episode and one of the best they’ve had yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town

It’s the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isn’t clear of jail time after his drug charges. Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3^rd. Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old. RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight. I’m not saying a word.

Here’s Immortal to open the show. Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration. He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving. As he’s talking we see Flair arriving. Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight. Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings. Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight. Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now that’s the plan.

Eric now shifts over to Flair who he’s not sure about. It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesn’t like so Flair has until next week. Cue Flair’s music and here he is. He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum. That person was his 3^rd ex wife. Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.

Did you forget he’s a wrestling god? When he was in Europe people didn’t call him Ric. They just called him God. Cue a God chant of course. Flair says that he’ll see them later and we really get no resolution here. Flair definitely came off like a face here.

The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3^rd. They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later. That’s the only way to put it really.

We’re back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back. Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and it’s a big brawl.

We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing. Now we talk about the ladder match. Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday? I didn’t know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.

Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.

Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez

Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living heck out of him while the girls cheer him on. Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt. Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her. Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl. Wasn’t there a match going on? Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this. Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didn’t seriously hurt his neck I’ll be surprised. Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.

Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight. This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.

Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table. It looks like a party of some kind. He says that he’s a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe. Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, he’s going to feed everyone here with that pig. Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too. That last bit was funny.

Pope wants to know who is first but it’ll cost $10 a pop. Cue Joe’s music and he’s mad. Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest. Joe drills Pope in the corner and it’s a Muscle Buster through the pig. Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.

Back and Robbie E and Cookie say they’re going to win the title again. In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and it’s time for a match.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E

Not sure if this is a title match or not. Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says she’s ugly with the makeup. She gets ticked off and leaves. Yes this is a title match apparently. Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble. Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight. Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over. And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57. No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here. Traci bounces down and it’s a mini cat fight.

Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them. He has presents for them and of course they get Iced. AJ can wait until after his big match though. They chant chug and down the drinks. Storm drinks AJ’s just because he can.

AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

See? I told you it was next. AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt. He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt. Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them. Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two. Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat. Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ. Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up. And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get. Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all. As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious. Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds. That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.

Anderson is ticked and wants Bischoff.

The Jarretts are in a hot tub. Can’t complain much with Karen in there.

Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox. He’s ticked that RVD is getting the title shot tonight. Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks he’s been robbed. The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight. Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here. Put him in the ring and that’s ratings. Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.

Anderson says he’ll take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more. Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee. Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight. Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying. Anderson is supposed to be TNA’s Austin and it’s just not there. Points for trying though I guess.

Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight. Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in. Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does. Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.

AJ is ticked about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita

The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect. Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially. Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet. Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up. World’s Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and it’s off to Sarita again. Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.

The cousins are tagging in a lot. Rosita doesn’t seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off. Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor. Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52. Can we please break 4 minutes? Please?

Rating: D. Weak match here with a predictable ending. There was no way the Beautiful People were going to be able to win here and everyone knew it. This went nowhere for the most part and was just to continue the losing streak by Velvet. Somehow this is the longest match of the night. That’s a little absurd.

Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita. Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers she’s supposed to have an accent. Sarita wants Velvet’s career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.

The Jarretts are going to dinner. More sex is implied.

Kurt is mad and is going to their dinner party.

Madison is talking to Tara and says she’s knocked out the entire locker room so she’s bored. There’s an open challenge next week.

Next week there’s a pose down between Terry and Steiner.

We recap RVD’s world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss. Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD. Hardy says he’s going to hurt Van Dam.

The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3^rd. Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef. And here’s Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant. He wants to know where the tip is. This was uh….odd.

RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity. The title is just a bonus.

Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike won’t let them show the footage. D-Von won’t give comments but Ray comes out to the table. Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it. Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will. Tazz says no you won’t because you crossed the line Sunday. Isn’t that the point of the company. Ray slaps Tenay’s headset off and leaves.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Anderson is the guest referee. He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit. Taz says that Jeff’s entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga. Oh dear he’s coming out of an egg. I give up. RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up. He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top. Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.

All RVD to start. To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break. Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldn’t see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away. Either way it gets two for the challenger. Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.

Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVD’s ribs into the post. Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff. Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover. Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again. Swanton gets two. Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidentally runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing. A low blow by Hardy when Anderson can’t see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine and thankfully it got some time unlike the rest of the matches tonight, but this should have been at Victory Road instead of on Impact. Anderson added very little here but I guess it’s supposed to set up the continuance of their feud and make him look more like Austin. Either way, not bad here but nothing I’ll remember in a few days.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow. Here’s a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty bad. The main problem here is simple: until the main event which started at 10:47, we had (rounded up to) 11:30 of wrestling. I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable for me in nearly two hours of wrestling. They gave us a decent main event which should have been a PPV main event but instead we got it with about two hours of buildup. If nothing else make THIS the main event March 3^rd but that’s Hogan and the Jarretts’ night I guess.

Overall the show was too light on wrestling and all of the talking they did amounted to nothing. Flair returned and was with Fourtune for about an hour before joining Immortal again. That and the Jarretts were the main focus of the show tonight. All in all it’s a big preview for March 3^rd which seems to be the new norm for TNA: have supershows instead of the PPVs as the main thing. That’s fine, but it makes the TV shows pretty boring on the way there. Bad show this week after TNA had been on a hot streak lately.

Results

Hernandez b. Douglas Williams – Border Toss

Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse

Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles – Twist of Hate

Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky – Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rosita’s legs

Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews\

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2003
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request whose reasoning I’m not sure of. Maybe people just like to make me cry. Anyway we’re coming up on Unforgiven in a few weeks which has a main event of Goldberg vs. HHH. In keeping with WWE tradition, the main event tonight is Goldberg/Orton vs. HHH/Flair, because Orton is in Evolution and therefore will make problems for Goldberg. Dig that high quality matchmaking! Let’s get to it.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane was recently unmasked and therefore turned heel (granted it’s Kane so who knows why he turned) on his tag partner RVD, setting up this cage match. Instead of THIS taking place on PPV though, we got Shane McMahon vs. Kane because Kane electrocuted Shane’s testicles with jumper cables last week. Kane jumps Rob as soon as he gets in and immediately starts pounding away.

Van Dam gets sent into the cage but comes back with a kick and a flip attack out of the corner. Kane rams him right back into the cage again and crushes Van Dam’s head against the cage with a boot. A side slam puts Rob down for no cover so Kane rams him into the cage again. Van Dam tries a comeback but his stepover kick is countered into a powerslam for no cover again.

Kane loads up a powerbomb but Van Dam punches out of it. Not that it matters much though as Kane clotheslines him down and goes back up top. That goes badly for him as well though as Rob crotches him and crushes him against the cage with a cross body. Somewhere along the way Rob got cut over his eye. The jumping kick from the top rope puts Kane down again and Rolling Thunder hits for no cover. Rob tries to leave but has to kick Kane off the ropes.

Since Van Dam isn’t that bright at times, he tries the Five Star but only hits the mat. Kane loads him up in a powerbomb position but drops Van Dam face first into the cage. Van Dam gets thrown into the cage a few times and after pointing at himself, Kane loads him up for a third ram. Rob gets tossed….and the cage breaks, allowing him to fall to the floor for the win. Well that was unexpected.

Actually it’s so unexpected that before I can rate it, Bischoff comes out and says you have to go over the cage and not out of it to win, so we need to keep going. After a break Kane continues to pound away while talking trash. Apparently during the break Kane slammed the cage on Van Dam’s head to put him in this much trouble. Rob tries to climb and Kane just lets him so RVD kicks him in the face. Van Dam tries to climb up but Kane climbs onto the top rope with him and a kind of chokeslam off said top rope is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day, unless you’re a wrestling encyclopedia, you’re not likely going to have an idea why this match is happening. JR and King mentioned Kane’s rage, but I don’t think they mentioned the two of them even being partners until a few weeks ago. Also the match itself was pretty one sided for the most part and I’m not sure why it was in a cage in the first place.

Bischoff makes Shane vs. Kane and King/JR vs. Snow/Coach for the commentary position (just go with it) for Unforgiven. For tonight, HHH and Goldberg face each other in a tag match with mystery partners. Hooray!

Lance Storm is worried about being called boring so Goldust tells him to go beat up Rico in front of the Stormtroopers. Storm tries to do the Goldust breath and it’s rather disturbing.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Storm and Goldie dance post match.

HHH wants to know who the mystery partners are but Eric won’t say.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Trish’s team are the faces here and Molly is champion here. She’s in blue tonight and has that short brown hair going on which looks GREAT. Also Gail is looking especially good here in white. Molly and Jackie start things off with the champion getting armdragged a lot. Off to Jackie who gets whipped around as well before an elbow drop gets two. JR gets Jackie and Molly confused because that’s easy to do right?

Molly and Gail hit a double DDT on Jackie for two before Kim takes Jackie’s hand and slaps it against Trish for a tag. Stratus comes in and beats on everyone in sight before hitting a headlock/headscissors combo to Gail and Molly respectively. The heels backdrop Trish to the floor before throwing the carcass back in for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match here was nothing special but I’m really impressed by how good the heels looked. In case you’re missing the point, I’m talking about their looks and not their in ring abilities. It’s WAY better than what we have going on with the modern Divas, but man alive they made few secrets about it being all about sex appeal at this point.

Here’s Austin for the State of Raw Address. How about we state that at this address, Raw will have more wrestling tonight? There’s a podium for him to speak from but Austin throws it to the floor and destroys it because it’s not his style. It takes forever to get to his first announcement, which is that if HHH gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. As for Kane, Austin thinks he should be able to beat him up for what Kane did to Shane. However since Austin is Co-GM, he’s not allowed to do that. Austin and his cabinet (his liquor cabinet of course) met and determined this sucks.

This brings out Christian who makes fun of the fact that Austin can’t beat anyone up. He’s tired of being Intercontinental Champion and not getting any respect and after debating the topic for a bit, we get down to the point: Christian wants his own talk show to replace the Highlight Reel. This brings out Jericho to lay out Christian to much praise from Austin. Jericho goes off on Austin for patronizing him and says he wakes up every day and prays that Austin has been fired. Austin says he likes the Highlight Reel and that Jericho can either keep whining or have a beer.

Jericho says that Austin wants to give him a Stunner but he can’t do it. Jericho: “If you want Steve Austin to give me a Stunner, give me a doo-wa-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do.” Austin: “That was the stupidest catchphrase I’ve ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw.” Steve throws Jericho a beer but the Canadian drops it. Austin gives him a very easy throw on the second try in a funny bit but Jericho slaps Austin on the back. That counts as physical provocation so there’s the Stunner. Somehow this took over eighteen minutes. What exactly was said in that amount of time?

La Resistance/Rob Conway/Rodney Mack/Mark Henry vs. Dudley Boys/Hurricane/Rosey

Oh I’m SURE this isn’t going to get all messy. The good guys clean house and Spike is launched onto La Resistance (the tag champions at this point). Hurricane throws in a dive of his own and it’s table time less than a minute into this shindig. They’re only set up on the floor though as we finally start with Rosey and Dupree. The fat man (Rosey) misses a charge but clotheslines Conway and Dupree down with ease because he’s fat.

Off to Spike for his double stomp on Conway but since Spike is the anti-Rosey, Conway gets the tag off to Henry. Picture any match of Henry crushing someone smaller than him for about a minute and you have what you’re getting here. Mark misses a charge and Spike picks….Hurricane for the hot tag? You’re Spike Dudley and you pick the freaking HURRICANE to fight Mark Henry? Conway is brought in as Henry is down on the floor, likely out for months with an injury. Everything breaks down and Conway walks into the 3D for two via a save from Mack as Henry comes back in and powerslams Bubba for the pin.

Rating: D. Yep it was a mess. It amazes me that they’re so strapped for time that they have an 18 minute talking segment and then they have to put ten guys in one match to get them all on TV for that week. There’s nothing here to see other than another quick match tonight with way too many people in one match.

Post match La Resistance picks up Spike and throw him over the top rope and at the table. I say at the table because they don’t throw him far enough and Spike’s head smacks into the table, probably breaking his neck in the process.

Eric makes a 3-2 handicap tables match for the titles at Unforgiven. For those of you not remembering, Eric LOVED tables matches. It was like his version of tag matches for Teddy Long.

HHH talks about Goldberg and plugs a sponsor at the same time.

We run down the Unforgiven card.

Shane is at The World but before he can get anywhere, Bischoff pops up and makes his match with Kane a last man standing match. That means the PPV now has a handicap tables match, a last man standing match, a match for control of Raw’s announcer booth, and a career threatening match. Why would we care about wrestling, right? Oh and another gimmick match would be added later.

Molly and Gail still look hot but now they have an evil idea, whatever that is.

Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards

Somehow Steiner has a job at this point. He also has Stacy who is his girlfriend/head freak at this point, which would change very soon. This is angle advancement for Steiner vs. Test, the latter of which is at ringside here. Richards tries to jump Steiner to start and gets pounded down in the corner as a result. There’s a clothesline for Richards and it’s push-up time. Richards gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a Downward Spiral for the pin. Nothing match here.

Post match here’s Bischoff AGAIN to make Test vs. Steiner for the PPV with Stacy on the line.

Back from a break and Coach and Snow are in the ring. THIS is what gets the next to last spot on Raw people. Let that sink in for a minute. Coach talks about jobs JR can have after he loses his job soon and we get WWE Humor with faces superimposed over FUNNY pictures. He goads JR to the ring and Coach gets laid out. Lawler shoves Snow to the floor and that’s that. This is happening because Coach and Snow are the Heat commentators and want a promotion. Seriously, THIS is the second big feud on Raw right now. Yet somehow people defend 2003 to me. I don’t get it.

Goldberg/??? vs. HHH/???

Bischoff comes out and talks tough to HHH before bringing out Flair to be HHH’s partner. Goldie’s partner: Randy Orton. Goldberg starts fighting the opponents before Orton gets there before beating up his own partner. We’re not going to get a match here are we? Orton gets in a shot on Goldberg’s knee as HHH says lower the cage again. Bill keeps trying to fight and has all three guys down for a bit, only to walk into a chair shot to the head from HHH. The big beatdown ensues as Goldbeg is bleeding. HHH is legit injured at this point so the Pedigree is basically Goldberg falling and HHH kneeling. A second try closes the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Yet people still defend this nonsense. Let’s look at what we had tonight: a cage match that wasn’t important enough to give a story to, JR/King/Snow/Coach as the second big feud for the PPV, a beatdown to end the show, a 20 minute talking segment that went nowhere, and no good matches in two hours. When the best part of a show might be Molly Holly’s hair, you’ve got major problems.

I’ve already done the September 15, 2003 Raw if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/monday-night-raw-september-15-2003-whoever-requested-this-start-running-now/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #105
Date: September 15, 1997
Location: Independence Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s the night after Fall Brawl and to the shock of no one paying attention, the NWO beat up WCW again last night. This time though they did it with the help of Curt Hennig, who turned on the Horsemen last night and slammed the cage door on Flair’s head. The NWO won WarGames after Mongo submitted to make the NWO stop beating on Flair, which of course they did anyway. Halloween Havoc is in about six weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of Flair in the emergency room and Tony says he can’t do the show tonight. Apparently Flair got him into the business and he’s too disturbed to do this. Well if that’s what we get from Flair having his head crushed, I can’t say I’m that upset.

Dean Malenko vs. Disco Inferno

Dean has a bad knee from last night thanks to Jarrett. Disco arm drags him down but walks into a clothesline like the idiot that he is. Malenko pounds away which isn’t exactly his norm. A leg lariat puts Disco down but he rakes the eyes to break up the Cloverleaf. Inferno tries a double ax off the middle rope but jumps into a punch to the ribs. Back to the stomping for Dean which is something you almost never get to say.

Disco gets up an elbow in the corner to slow Dean down but charges into a powerslam. Dean hammers away but can’t get into it because A, he’s Dean Malenko and B, his knee is messed up. Disco, FINALLY having a brain, goes after the big bandage on the knee. Malenko can barely even run the ropes but he’s pulling a Bret Hart as he grabs Disco in the double underhook powerbomb and Cloverleafs him for the win.

Rating: C-. Disco was just a foil here but Dean was selling the knee very well. Note the difference here between his selling and most regular selling: Dean actually changed up his style because of an injury rather than doing his regular stuff and holding his knee. That’s a BIG difference and it makes an injury that much more believable.

Eddie is on WCW.com.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

Mike runs down the card for the rest of the card and it’s rather refreshing over hearing Tony’s same stuff over and over. Stevie and Meng start things off and Meng be clubberin. Barbarian comes in illegally and Stevie clears the ring. Off to Booker but the monsters double team him down and take over. A double headbutt keeps Booker down in the corner and it’s off to Barbarian.

Raven is sitting in the crowd. Back to Stevie who gets choked down by Meng as things slow down. Back to Barbie for more slow chops and strikes and an even slower choke. Ray comes back with a falling suplex and there’s the hot tag to Booker. He cleans house as everything breaks down but Meng gets Booker in the Tongan Death Grip for the win.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty slow paced match that didn’t really work all that well. As I’ve talked about before, there’s no reason for these teams to be fighting when no one ever gets a title shot at the Outsiders other than the Steiners on occasion. The Faces of Fear were fine for what they were but they never went anywhere.

Gene talks to Page (and even fires off a Diamond Cutter sign) and apparently it’s going to be Page vs. Savage III at Halloween Havoc.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

Rey takes off his mask to reveal another one before giving the original to the crowd. Not only is this cool, but Mike’s panicking when Rey unhooked the match was hilarious. Mysterio immediately takes him down for two but Juvy escapes into a headlock. A flying headscissors puts Guerrera down again but Rey gets draped over the top. With Rey on the apron, Juvy hits a running sunset bomb out to the floor in a SICK looking bump.

A suplex back in sets up a slingshot legdrop from Juvy for two. Rey counters a powerbomb into a seated senton for no count as Juvy is in the ropes and things start speeding up. A kind of Sky High from Rey gets two as does a top rope rana. Juvy comes right back with a falling back powerbomb to put both guys down. This is starting to get pretty awesome. Juvy misses a charge into the corner and winds up on the floor so Rey can hit a BIG flip dive over the corner into a seated senton to take both guys out. Back in and Juvy springboards into a powerbomb and a perfectly smooth West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: B. Take two cruiserweights, give them seven minutes and let them wow the crowd. It worked time after time and it worked here again. This was nothing but a spot fest and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s WCW sticking with the idea of something for everyone again and it works here again. Really good stuff here.

Rey says he’s coming for Konnan.

TV Title: Alex Wright vs. Steven Regal

Regal is challenging. Wright immediately takes him down with an armdrag and it’s time to dance! They trade arm control until Regal takes him down to the mat with an arm hold of his own. Nice job of trading the same moves there. A big slap to the face staggers Wright so he comes back with European uppercuts from one European to the other.

The crowd actually cheers for Regal which isn’t something you often hear. That’s a good sign for Wright as a heel if nothing else. Alex dances a bit and Regal dropkicks him down to a face pop. Both guys collide and hit the mat to give them a breather. The challenger wins a slugout but can’t get the Regal Stretch on before Alex makes the rope. They trade rollups until Regal is sent into the corner and staggers into a German suplex to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Wright is definitely getting over as a heel and Regal is as solid as ever. This title would bounce around more than any other in the company which made for exciting periods, but the feuds never really went anywhere. At the end of the day, there weren’t a ton of feuds going on and that’s why the title didn’t mean much for a good while.

Ray Traylor will fight any member of the NWO if they’re man enough to face him.

Konnan vs. The Giant

Apparently Tony can’t bring himself out to do commentary. Still a sweet show so far. Giant tosses Konnan to the floor to start and the beating begins. Konnan tries to fire off some shots but they have no effect. We head to the floor again with Konnan trying to run but getting a headbutt for his efforts. Back in and Konnan is in BIG trouble as he gets slammed down. We head to the floor yet again and Konnan gets in some shots as they come back in, only to jump into the chokeslam for the pin. Total squash.

Hour #2 begins and STILL NO TONY!

Nitro Girls do their thing.

The announcers discuss if the Horsemen are dead or not. Larry is SURE that Curt was in the NWO since he got here.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Stevie Richards

Stevie tunes up the band before getting in the Crane stance from Karate Kid. Page gives him the Diamond sign before starting to pound on the shoulder. A gutwrench gutbuster puts Richards down but Richards manages to guillotine him on the top rope. Raven is watching intently. Richards hits a running elbow in the corner before getting punched in the face for his efforts. TKO ends this easily for Page.

Rating: D. This was just to do more stuff with Raven vs. Stevie, even though Richards wouldn’t be around much longer at all. Page was just killing time before the next match with Savage before he could head towards the rest of his feud with the NWO. Actually I think he would be fighting Raven soon too.

Raven slaps Richards and sends him to the floor post match before leaving through the crowd.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Wrath/Mortis

Hall and Mortis start things off with the Outsiders making fun of how over the top the challengers are. Scott cranks on the arm before pounding away but Mortis comes back with a big kick. He then spits on Hall’s body, despite wearing am ask meaning the spit would go nowhere. Hall comes right back with the fallaway slam and it’s off to Wrath vs. Nash.

Big Kev pounds him into the corner but Wrath throws him into the opposite corner and beats the TAR out of Nash, including getting two off a bicycle kick. Off to Mortis for a Russian legsweep and a middle rope legdrop for two each. A Syxx distraction lets Nash get in the big boot to both guys. The Jackknife ends Mortis.

Rating: C+. WAY better than I was expecting here, which is what I’ve wound up saying about every Mortis/Wrath match I’ve seen so far. Wrath had potential if he never had to talk, but since it was WCW he wound up being fed to people like Nash and Rick Steiner for the sake of making the old guys look good. The fans were getting into this when the Outsiders were in trouble. Naturally Hall and Nash wouldn’t be beaten for the titles until January.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan flanked by the rest of the NWO. Flair’s music plays and here’s Hennig in Flair’s red robe. Just getting everyone into the ring took SEVEN MINUTES. Hennig is welcomed into the team and gets hit in the head with a drink. Curt talks about how good it felt to slam the door on Ric’s head last night and join the greatest wrestling organization in wrestling history. He gives the robe to Hogan and we get an evil laugh.

Savage says he’ll beat DDP at Havoc. Hogan talks about how Piper was President of the WWF and tried to boss him around. I’ll leave it to you all as an exercise to figure out how stupid that line is. Now Piper has lied about going home to his family. Hall and Hogan tell Piper to come visit him “down here” (basically the NWO version of Suck It) and say Sting won’t be a problem after that. This was nearly 14 minutes of NOTHING.

Video on Piper vs. Hogan.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Eddie won the title last night. They immediately head to the mat but it’s a standoff. With no one being able to get an advantage, Dragon offers a test of strength. Apparently Eddie isn’t interested as he kicks Dragon down and then dropkicks him in the mask. Eddie cranks on the arm for a bit and even throws in an old fashioned hammerlock slam ala Arn Anderson. A few European uppercuts stagger Dragon but Eddie charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to reset things a bit.

Eddie sends Dragon into the corner and there’s the headstand in the corner. Its hypnotic powers continue to astound and Eddie gets kicked in the face. A BIG running Liger Bomb gets a near fall for Dragon so it’s time for a freaking giant swing. Dragon’s arm goes out before he can really get going, but he still manages to counter an Eddie powerbomb.

Guerrero tries to send him into the corner but gets caught in a regular sleeper that grows a tail and breathes enough fire to turn into the Dragon Sleeper. Eddie somehow kicks Dragon in the head to escape, followed by a shoulder breaker (psychology!) and the Frog Splash retains. Nice to see the arm work earlier coming back more than once.

Rating: B-. Even more good stuff from the cruiserweights here as Eddie begins his reign on top. Dragon was a good guy to put in a spot like this as he’s been established as solid already but isn’t going to get the title off Eddie yet. Good stuff here too with both guys flying around but not so much to make it a spot fest. Eddie was on fire back then.

Nitro Girls.

US Title: Steve McMichael vs. Curt Hennig

Mongo is both defending and out for revenge at the same time. He sprints to the ring and the fight is on fast. Hennig decks him fast but Mongo stares him down. He throws Hennig down but McMichael can’t even hit a double ax handle right. Hennig takes the knee out and wraps it around the post before cannonballing down onto it ala Flair. Off to a reverse Figure Four but Mongo pokes him in the eye to break out. Hennig takes Mongo right back down and works on the knee even more.

Mongo comes back with some kicks (remember what I said about psychology earlier?) but Curt pounds him down and works on the leg even more. Steve throws Curt into the corner and yells at him a lot before throwing Hennig into the corner for the crotching. Mongo hits some clotheslines and an atomic drop to REALLY emphasize that he isn’t selling the leg. Hennig gets rammed into three buckles but avoids the three point stance charge. Mongo hits the bottom buckle (not really but close enough) and the PerfectPlex gives the NWO the title.

Rating: D. To clarify, anything bad about this is ALL on Mongo. He couldn’t sell, he couldn’t hit a buckle, and he couldn’t even hit a freaking DOUBLE AX HANDLE properly. You put your hands together and whack a guy in the back. Thankfully they kept this short and it was clear that there was no way Mongo was winning here. This was pretty much it for Mongo as far as anything important. Also, how weird is it to see the title change completely clean like that?

Overall Rating: B-. More good wrestling here but it’s getting annoying seeing WCW get strong one week and then get crushed even harder a week later. Unfortunately once the time came for WCW to get their big win, that got screwed up too. There’s some good wrestling here though and the shows were really getting into a groove at this point.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #100
Date: August 11, 1997
Location: Denver Coliseum, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 7,444
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the show after Road Wild and any momentum WCW has going for it is gone. The Outsiders kept the tag titles and Hogan got the world title back from Luger after five days. We’re coming up on Fall Brawl and ultimately the Sting vs. Hogan showdown. After Saturday, you can hear the NWO gloating from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Giant getting served with a summons. This can’t end well.

Here are the Outsiders and Syxx with the tag titles still, because why bother changing them after building it up perfectly for the Steiners to win them? Anyway, Syxx runs his mouth and the Outsiders point to their belts as proof that they’re still the best in the world. The fans are seemingly far more behind the NWO here than usual. The Steiners have no claim to being the best in the world because they don’t have titles of course.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Bobby Starr/David Moore

Starr and Moore come out to the Steiners’ music to tease the fans a bit. Hall and Moore start things off and we get some hard chops in the corner. Off to Starr who is caught in the belly to back superplex. Nash comes in and jackknifes Starr for the pin. Short and to the point.

The Steiners come in through the crowd and clear the ring before posing with the belts.

Wrath vs. Meng

This is due to last week’s match with Wrath vs. Barbarian. The brawl starts on the floor with no one getting an advantage so we head back inside where Meng kicks his head off. We head right back to the floor where Meng is sent into the railing hit with a flip attack off the apron by Wrath. Back in and Wrath gets crotched and superplexed down for two as this is going at a very fast pace so far. A clothesline puts Meng down and a top rope cross body gets two for Wrath, but the Tongan Death Grip goes on almost immediately to end Wrath. Short but intense.

Both guys’ partners come out with Mortis and Wrath clearing the ring. Vandenberg has to run from the Faces of Fear.

Here are the Steiners and DiBiase for a chat. The brothers say they had the Outsiders beaten and they’ll get another shot. DiBiase complains about Nick Patrick’s questionable refereeing by compared to the refereeing of Randy Anderson in the main event. They’ll get the titles eventually apparently.

Chris Jericho vs. Eddie Guerrero

Jericho starts off with a gorilla press of all things but Eddie escapes a monkey flip. A modified hot shot puts Eddie down again and a spinwheel kick sends him to the outside. Back in and Eddie begs off but naturally he’s suckering Jericho in. After a poke to the Canadian’s eyes, Eddie hits a dropkick to the side of the head to take over even more.

Jericho comes back with three straight clotheslines but the Lionsault hits knees. A big release German suplex gets two on Eddie as does a tiger driver. Jericho loads up the Liontamer but settles for a giant swing instead. Eddie’s dizziness sends him to the floor where Jericho hits a plancha. Back in and Eddie guillotines him on the top rope and runs to the top for the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was your usual decent match for these guys but with only about four and a half minutes to work with, there’s only so much they can do. The ending seemed like someone forgot how much time they had and said to go home immediately. Still though it was fast paced enough to work and these two are always worth checking out.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit.

Alex Wright insults the fans and doesn’t have much to say.

Dean Malenko vs. Jeff Jarrett

Weren’t these guys friends last week? Dean seems ticked off and keeps shoving the referee away to get to Jarrett, eventually suckering Jeff into the ring to pound away on the blonde dude. Malenko punches Jeff to the floor where he tries to walk away, only to get beaten up on the floor instead. Apparently Jarrett got himself pinned in the elimination tag on Saturday to make Malenko go it alone in a handicap match. The announcers didn’t tell me that or anything. I just happened to have a review of the PPV available and could check it for myself.

Back in and Dean fires off some leg lariats to send Jarrett right back to the floor. He tries to walk out again and sees McMichael waiting on him. We take a break and come back with Dean pounding away on Jeff even more. We head back into the ring for a belly to back suplex by Jeff as things slow down. Jeff starts to cannonball down onto the leg but the running crotch attack to Dean’s back hits rope. There’s a tiger bomb and the Cloverleaf from Dean but Eddie runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Jeff Jarrett continues to be very boring, but if this leads to Eddie vs. Dean I’m more than fine. The heel turn from Dean didn’t go anywhere at all and thankfully they got him away from Jeff as fast as they did. This wasn’t a bad match or anything but my lack of caring about anything Jeff Jarrett does drags it way down.

Post match Mongo runs in for the save but after they clear the ring, Dean beats McMichael up as well.

Here are Curt and Flair with something to say. Flair says that he loves Curt, but hates the fact that Hennig was seen talking to Bischoff. Hennig says he has business with Bischoff and it’s not a big deal. Flair offers Hennig a spot in the Horsemen again but Hennig has a main event tonight with Randy Savage to deal with. Flair says ok but after that, the Horsemen go to Nashville for the Clash of Champions. Hennig says he’ll be Flair’s partner in Flair’s tag match at the COTC, but it doesn’t mean he’s a Horseman.

Here’s Eric Bischoff on his Harley apparently with something to say. Apparently Luger is going to be punished for what he did last week when he beat Hogan. Some more NWO guys get in the ring and Eric congratulates Hogan and the Outsiders for their wins on Saturday. It’s Hogan’s birthday today but he’s on a movie set, so we get a Happy Birthday song from the NWO.

As for the Giant, he can’t come within however many feet of Bischoff due to the papers served earlier. Buff goes down the aisle and spraypaints a line that Giant can’t cross. Giant comes down anyway but JJ and Larry Z go to stop him. Giant says he’s willing to go to jail as cops surround him. Hall comes out and throws his toothpick at Larry to end a decent segment.

Hour #2 begins.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott and Mongo start things off with Scott pounding him down with raw power. Make that Nitro power actually to avoid making people think of that other show. Mongo knocks him into the corner but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. Off to Benoit vs. Rick and it gets intense in a hurry. They fight up against the ropes with Benoit chopping away before getting suplexed down.

Back to Scott for a gorilla press and an STF before Benoit fights away for a tag to Mongo. Rick immediately beats McMichael down but Steve comes back with a slam. He goes up for some reason and jumps into a release belly to belly suplex for a surprise pin. That didn’t look to go as planned as both Benoit and the referee looked confused. Maybe Mongo got hurt on the suplex.

Rating: C+. The intensity here was really good with both teams beating the tar out of each other when they were in there. The ending did seem to be rushed due to the suplex as Rick gave a look as if to say “we won?” at the end. Either way, the match was good while it lasted and the botch makes the Steiners look even stronger here, which is what they needed to do after Saturday.

Here’s Luger to apologize for losing the title on Saturday. Last week was the best moment of his life but he let us down after that. The title win was a moment where everyone came together to show solidarity (this would be roughly the 87^th time that WCW has finally come together for those of you counting). Lex isn’t worried about the officiating because he won the title with the same referee. He’ll come for Hogan again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Buff hits a quick hiptoss to take over so Page sits down in the corner ala Jake Roberts, as in the guy who trained him. Page grabs the arm and does those driving shoulders of his into Buff’s arm. After a quick break to the floor by Bagwell, he comes back in and is shouldered right back down.

The discus lariat takes Buff down again but he immediately pops back up and chokes Page down. A neckbreaker gets two on DDP but Buff, ever the genius, argues with the referee over the count. Page punches him down and here’s Vincent on the apron. You should be able to see the ending coming here. Buff is shoved into Vincent and there’s the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Page getting another win is nothing bad for him at all. Buff was doing his usual stuff here and looked decent in doing so, but when you have Vincent out there it’s pretty clear you’re not going to win. Why was he around now anyway since DiBiase had left the team?

Road Report from Lee Marshall.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Mortis

Dragon is defending here. Feeling out process to start until Dragon fires off his rapid fire kicks to take over. Mortis elbows him down and chokes a bit but Dragon kicks him down and loads up the super rana. A Vandenberg distraction fails and Mortis is caught in a front superplex off the top. Mortis hits a Fameasser for two before loading up the Flatliner (Samoan Drop from the middle rope). Dragon counters into a powerbomb and the Dragon Sleeper retains the title.

Rating: C-. This was a fast paced match but they didn’t click for the most part out there. There wasn’t any kind of a flow to the match and it felt a lot more sloppy than it should have. Mortis would get a lot better once he became Kanyon and got to show off whatever freaky offense he had in mind that week.

Here’s JJ to offer Sting another contract. After talking about a bunch of legal stuff that doesn’t need to be explained, Sting lowers from the rafters. The contract is for a match with Syxx but Sting rips it up. He goes to leave but Gene stops him and asks Sting who he wants. The fans chant for Hogan and Sting points to the fans. More good stuff here as the ending was clear, but they had to have a reason to get there. The build for this really is getting good.

Buy NWO stuff!

Tape your Nitro parties!

Randy Savage vs. Curt Hennig

The announcers talk about Hennig being a free agent and Heenan sounds bombed. An elbow to the head of Hennig drops him dead and we go outside. Liz ducks away and Savage gets clotheslined as we take a break. Back with Hennig pounding on Randy in the aisle before heading back inside for the neck snap. Savage goes after the leg but gets leveraged to the floor. And here’s DDP to attack Hennig for the DQ. Not enough to rate but they didn’t do anything of note here.

Hall runs in to help Savage and Hennig bails. The beating goes on for a bit until Luger makes the save.

The announcers wrap things up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but it was mainly just fallout from the previous PPV. The Sting stuff is clearly going to be huge as the fans reacted to that about twice as loudly as anything else all night. Other than that, there wasn’t much here but Giant vs. the NWO is becoming interesting. We’re headed towards Fall Brawl now but that was only mentioned in passing, which is probably a good thing because it was another mostly B level show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 13, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley

It’s after Final Resolution now and we’re heading towards Genesis in January. After one of the least interesting PPVs I can remember in years on Sunday, hopefully things pick up a bit this week. If my math is correct, we’re probably coming up on another gimmick show in a few weeks because where would we be without those? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the major plot points from Sunday.

Here’s Bobby Roode to open the show and he’s ticked off. He says that he made a business investment with Aces and 8’s but he got ripped off. Roode wants answers and he wants them NOW. Here are the bikers and D-Von says they were offered a better deal. Roode demands to know who outbid him and it’s…..not going to be revealed right now. D-Von says you might find out later tonight.

Cue Hardy and Storm who want to fight right now. They storm (no pun intended) the ring and clear out the unmasked bikers and for some reason, the armed bikers who have a numbers advantage bail.

Velvet talks about being in Championship Thursday next week.

Mickie is upset about losing last week.

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky

We’ve got Madison in the always hot blue camo and Velvet in a black catsuit. I’m happy. Velvet takes over to start and hits some kicks to the back as we hear about Aces and 8’s vs. Storm/Hardy in the main event tonight. Great, ANOTHER match the bikers get to lose. Madison comes back with a shot to the chest and stands on Velvet’s hair a bit. There’s that pelvic thrust thing that Madison does which I think is supposed to be sexy in some way. Velvet makes a comeback and hits an X Factor for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D+. The only thing keeping this from being a failure is how good the girls look. This was as dull as almost any match I can remember in months, with absolutely nothing standing out at all. I get that Velvet is back and all, but it’s not like she’s some kind of savior or anything like that.

Garrett, Wes and Kurt do a 5 Hour Energy commercial.

Kaz and Daniels brag a bit.

We recap the eight man tag from Sunday, which much like everything else on Sunday, was nothing.

Robbie E/Robbie T vs. Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff

Angle is with the small guys. The Robs attack from behind to start and T starts with Wes. Big Rob pounds away and works over Wes’ back before it’s off to E. Hot tag brings in Garrett and the fans just dno’t care. House is cleaned and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker staggers T and Wes hits a top rope cross body for the pin at 3:30.

Rating: D. I do not care about Brisco and Bischoff and that’s all there is to it. They’re just not interesting in the ring or on the mic or in any way whatsoever. They have jobs because of who their fathers are and that’s not something that interests me in the slightest. If TNA thinks we’re going to care about them if/when they join Aces and 8’s, TNA is crazier than I thought.

Post match a member of Aces and 8’s hits Kurt in the knee with a pipe, injuring him before his match next week against D-Von.

Angle’s knee is messed up in the back. Word on the street (as in Angle’s Twitter) is that Kurt has a groin injury so I guess this is their out.

Joseph Park (driving a Beetle) goes to OVW to train. He meets Danny Davis, the OVW owner, and says he’ll start training right now. Park runs laps around the ring and does situps while Davis yells at him. He also vomits in a trashcan. More on this later I’m assuming.

Tara and Jesse come in to annoy Brooke. Apparently it’s Jesse vs. Ray tonight and Brooke has very little to say. She’s another person I can’t stand for the most part.

1-3-13 video again.

Kenny King is ready for RVD again tonight.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s Doc and the big guy, which is Mike Knox. Storm and Doc start things off with James pounding away before bringing in Hardy. Hardy gets to pound on the big guy now, which is rather pitiful looking given how bad Jeff’s punches are. He knocks both guys to the floor and hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Hardy kicking Doc in the face but getting clotheslined by the big guy.

The bikers pound away on Jeff on the floor before taking turns unleashing their wide variety of punches and kicks. The big guy literally just lays on Jeff as this is already dull. The beating goes on for a good while with Doc using a long chinlock. Jeff fights up but can’t escape, resulting in him being sent out to the floor. Off to another chinlock which Hardy finally escapes and hits the Whisper in the Wind. Not that it leads to the hot tag or anything but at least was something different.

Hardy hits the mule kick and FINALLY brings in Storm. House is cleaned and a top rope cross body gets two on the big guy. Poetry in Motion hits the masked guy and the other bikers come in. D-Von drops the bat….and it doesn’t matter as Last Call takes out Doc and the Twist pins the masked guy at 14:42.

Rating: D+. FREAKING DO SOMETHING WITH ACES AND 8’S ALREADY!!!!! They had like six guys on two here and they STILL couldn’t win? The match was fine with Hardy selling like a master like only he could, but Aces and 8’s are just such a waste of space anymore. At the end of the day, Aces and 8’s can’t win when they have this big of an advantage. So why should I ever be intimidated by them?

D-Von reveals that it was Aries that paid them more money on Sunday. Not that Hardy and Storm were the ones asking but whatever.

Roode erupts on Hogan in the back about Aries when Aries calls Hulk. Hogan says get here soon and tells Roode to calm down.

We recap Daniels vs. AJ on Sunday with AJ finally losing to Daniels clean.

Here’s AJ to address what happened on Sunday. He’s upset about losing, so the fans tell him that he’s still got it. AJ says he’s not going anywhere but he’s tired of looking after everyone else all the time. It’s time to look after AJ Styles and it has nothing to do with the Impact Zone, Dixie Carter or Impact Wrestling. He’s tired of cleaning up every corporate mess and always doing the right thing. From now on, he’s going to do his own thing. Ok then. This didn’t come off like a heel turn.

Dixie gets AJ’s shirt thrown in her face.

Daniels and Kaz celebrate and Kaz has a surprise for Daniels.

Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

This is the non-title version of a match that wasn’t good when the title was on the line. They trade kicks and armdrags to start until RVD gets in a kick to take over. Kenny kicks a lackadaisical RVD to the floor and hits a corkscrew dive for two. Back in and King hits a floatover suplex and right hands as he’s playing the heel in the match. Kenny hits a kind of splash in the corner but a second attempt hits a kick from Van Dam.

A top rope legdrop hits King for two but he comes back with a springboard Blockbuster (kind of at least) for two. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but misses a split legged moonsault. The northern lights suplex gets two for Rob and he takes Kenny’s head off with a stepover kick. Van Dam goes up for a cross body but King rolls through and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C. This was easily the best match of the night so far and WAY better than the match on Sunday. King turning heel is a good fit for him as he has a lot of Shelton Benjamin in him: insanely athletic but needing a bit more of an attitude. Good stuff here and it’s a decent feud for RVD at least.

Bully Ray comes in to see Hogan and wants to know where Hogan stands on things. Hogan is all ticked off and wants to know why Ray is making his personal stuff Hogan’s business. He blames Bully for Brooke being in danger and says he hasn’t changed his stance on Ray at all. Ray GOES NUTS, and suggests he has nothing to do with Brooke and that it’s a one way street.

He says that Brooke was apologizing for Hulk, which Hogan somehow twists into Brooke and Ray should never be around each other again. Ray goes on a big rant about how he should be on Team Hogan (egads there’s a freaking Team Hogan now?) after everything he’s been through and Hulk needs to realize his daughter is a grown woman. Ray leaves and Hogan calls him weak. Good grief they have an interesting story like this and it’s all about Brooke Hogan. Is ANYBODY surprised by that?

Bully Ray vs. Jesse Godderz

Ray chases Jesse and Tara out of the ring and pounds on Jesse to start. This turns into a total squash with Ray just destroying Jesse and no selling any offense from him. Ray hits a chop in the corner that actually makes me cringe. The fans get another chop that they demand and Tara comes in. Thankfully it’s not a DQ as she only gets spanked once and leaves. Jesse jumps Bully from behind and takes over with some forearms. Godderz pounds away but Ray comes back with a single chop. Jesse actually clotheslines Ray down but Bully shrugs it all off and wins with the Bubba Cutter at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was way better than I was expecting and the chops alone make the match worth seeing. Ray is getting more and more awesome every week, but unfortunately this is all being wasted on Brooke freaking Hogan, because being Hulk Hogan’s daughter isn’t enough publicity for her or something like that. Hopefully Ray can actually win an important match soon.

Aries gets here.

1-3-13 video again.

We recap the ending of the PPV and the announcement of Aries as the guy who gave the bigger offer to the bikers. Aries talks about how he was in the war with Aces and 8’s but he never got paid for helping against them or anything like that. He wants the title back, so here’s Hardy. Hardy says all Aries had to do was ask but Aries says he has to jump through hoops to get his match. Jeff offers Aries a title shot right here next week in the Impact Zone. Aries says he’ll do it on his time. Oh good grief. Hardy punches him and they fight with Hardy hitting the Twist. The show goes off the air at 9:58. Ok then.

Overall Rating: D+. The last forty five minutes weren’t horrible but the rest of the show was some pretty dull stuff. Ray continues to be awesome, but man alive the Brooke Hogan, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco stuff drags down almost anything good they’ve got going on. Aries, Roode and Hardy isn’t bad, but it needs something more than these guys guys just going back and forth like they’re doing.

Results

Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – X Factor

Wes Brisco/Garrett Bischoff b. Robbie E/Robbie T – Top rope cross body to Robbie T

Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Aces and 8’s – Twist of Fate to Masked Man

Bully Ray b. Jesse Godderz – Bubba Cutter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well as usual, a lot has changed around here since last time. Brock is a monster again, Goldberg is Raw Champion, Vince is back and fighting the Undertaker, and it’s Austin vs. Bischoff having surrogate teams fight for control of Raw. This is a big change of pace from last year and hopefully it’s a bit better as well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about surviving. There’s an original concept.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, John Cena, Bradshaw, Chris Benoit

Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Big Show, A-Train

Cena does a rap before the match about how big the other team is. This is one of Morgan’s few matches in WWE. From what I can find, he had 18 total matches, one of which was over a year after his previous one. Holly is here because Lesnar broke his neck and now Holly wants revenge. This would result in Hardcore Holly actually getting a world title match at the Rumble. Show is US Champion here.

Holly jumps Lesnar during his entrance and tries to put him into a full nelson, earning himself a DQ before the match ever starts. Back in the ring, Bradshaw and A-Train start things off with Bradshaw blocking a Vader Bomb and hitting the Clothesline for the elimination to tie us up. Bradshaw charges into a chokeslam from Show and is out 20 seconds later.

Cena comes in but can’t FU Show yet. Off to Brock but Cena takes his knee out. A quick rollup gets two and Cena does the same thing again. Off to Morgan who isn’t quite as polished as Lesnar. A side slam puts Cena down and it’s already off to Jones. Jones does some very basic choking and it’s back to Brock. Cena hits the Throwback on Brock and there’s the tag to Benoit (notice the pop).

Benoit pounds on Lesnar in the corner but it’s back to Big Show and there’s only so much Show can do with him. Show lifts Benoit into the air and drops him on his face while talking trash to Angle. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface but Brock (who is Smackdown Champion here) makes the save. Show puts on an abdominal stretch of all things followed by the standing legdrop for two.

Angle gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Back to Morgan for some skilled standing on Benoit’s throat. Benoit speeds things up and takes out Morgan’s knee before tagging in Angle. Kurt immediately rolls some Germans on Matt and everything breaks down. Angle Slam eliminates Morgan, the ankle lock eliminates Jones (who would quit in about two weeks and never be seen again) and the F5 takes out Kurt, all in the span of about 25 seconds.

This gets us down to Benoit and Cena vs. Lesnar and Big Show. Lesnar misses a charge in the corner and Benoit goes after the arm like a crazy man. Brock gets Benoit up for the F5 but Benoit counters into the Crossface. Show makes the save so Benoit puts it right back in, only to have Brock make the ropes. The third time though gets a rare tap from Brock as this match is flying by. That more or less makes Benoit the #1 contender.

It’s Benoit and Cena vs. Big Show now as the fans tell Lesnar that he tapped out. Benoit hits a top rope shoulder but can’t put on the Crossface. Cena gets a blind tag and there’s a chokeslam to Benoit. A chain to Show’s head and the FU are enough for the pin. Somehow Cena wouldn’t win the US Title from Show for almost six more months.

Rating: C. Not a great match here but to say it got the fans fired up is the understatement of the year. That FU at the end was the usual jaw dropping moment for Cena and while the rest of the match was pretty forgettable, the crowd is all ready to go now, which is the point of this kind of a match. Angle would turn heel and feud with Eddie soon into the new year.

Vince talks to Shane about how tonight it’s father and son against two brothers which is a somewhat cool idea, but the matches are both likely to suck so it’s hard to care. Shane says he feels sorry for Vince. Vince leaves and runs into Austin and they have a really awkward laugh before Austin stops and glares at Vince. This is one of those moments where it was supposed to be big but came off as weird instead.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is somewhat recently back after breaking her neck on a TV show and is challenging here. The fans immediately start cheering for Lita and she hits a quick clothesline to take over. Some knees to Molly’s chest sets up a suplex and a nipup by Lita. We head to the floor where Lita is sent into the barricade back first, which gets two for the champ back inside. Off to a chinlock by Molly followed by a dragon sleeper which doesn’t last that long.

Molly sends her into the corner and hits the Muta handspring elbow in one of the only times you’ll hear his name mentioned on WWE TV. Lita kicks Molly away and backflips to the top for a cross body and a two count. A rollup gets the same but Molly sidewalk slams her down for two. Molly tries a rana out of the corner and gets powerbombed down, but the Litasault misses. The Molly Go Round (flipping seated senton) surprisingly only gets two so Molly goes to expose a buckle. After a save is made by Lita, the champ sends her face first into the exposed buckle for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match itself was ok, but man alive Molly wasn’t that interesting to watch. I get that she’s a very technically competent wrestler and could do almost anything pretty well in the ring, but she was a black hole of charisma. Molly was just there most of the time, which doesn’t make for interesting matches at all.

We recap Kane vs. Shane. Kane, being all psycho, tombstoned Linda on the stage one night. Shane stood up for his mama and beat on Kane as much as he could, but it basically turned into a monster movie as Shane did all sorts of things to Kane but Kane just kept coming. Shane got his testicles electrocuted in a semi-famous bit in retaliation. Somehow this set up an ambulance match, which is a casket match but with an ambulance. This is one of those feuds that went on and on for MONTHS, apparently ticking off guys in the back because Shane wasn’t a full time wrestler but he was getting big spots on the card.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Shane immediately knocks him to the floor but Kane sends him into the steps to take him down. Shane gets the steps on top of Kane and pounds him down with a chair. The announce table gets loaded up early and there’s a monitor to the side of Kane’s head. Shane hits the big elbow through the table and both guys are down less than two minutes in. Both guys get up and Shane makes Kane chase him (literally) through the crowd.

They head to the back and we lose the camera feed for a bit. Kane really is stalking Shane like in a slasher movie. Shane gets behind Kane somehow and blasts him with some kendo stick shots. Shane gets in an SUV and backs up into Kane, knocking him into a guard shake. McMahon grabs a walkie-talkie and says send it, so here’s an ambulance. Kane fights off the stretcher and throws Shane into a concrete wall before they head back to the arena.

Shane looks like he’s dead on his feet as Kane punches him. Kane throws him onto the hood of the ambulance, cracking Shane’s head open apparently. Shane sends him into the side of the ambulance and opens the doors, slamming one onto Kane’s head a few times. Kane fights his way out of the back of the ambulance before throwing Shane in, but only one door gets shut.

McMahon comes back with a kind of tornado DDT out of the ambulance and hits Kane with a trashcan. He then puts something big and black between Kane’s legs before climbing on top of the ambulance. Shane goes Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to drive a trashcan into Kane’s face while Kane was laying against the barricade. The big black thing apparently was a box to keep Shane from, you know, dying.

Kane is dead weight now and Shane can’t get him into the ambulance immediately. Kane pulls Shane inside with him before getting all fired (pun intended) up. He rams Shane into the ambulance over and over, tombstones him on the concrete and throws him into the ambulance to win.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but it went on too long. Thankfully this was the last time Shane was an active wrestler for a few years as he was only good for stuff like this in doses. Kane would go on to feud with, who else, the Undertaker in a few months. There were some good bumps here, but at the end of the day Shane isn’t a wrestler and that was becoming obvious near the end.

Brock says he didn’t lose tonight. Josh Matthews says he tapped out and Lesnar doesn’t want to hear it because he didn’t tap out. Lesnar says line up anybody in the world and he’ll beat them because he’s the WWE Champion. Oh hi Goldberg. Yep, they’re foreshadowing THAT match.

Here’s Coach to waste more time. He’s in a neckbrace due to a 3D on Monday. His doctors assure him that in a few days, he’ll be fine. Coach sees Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, in the front row. Cuban agrees to a quick interview and says he’s looking forward to Austin beating Bischoff. Coach says that’s not happening so he asks Cuban if he prefers WWE or NBA referees. Cuban says they all suck (Cuban is well known in the NBA for being highly critical of referees) and here’s Bischoff to yell at Cuban a bit.

Eric asks Cuban to get in the ring and say whatever Cuban thinks to his face. Cuban gets in the ring and TOWERS over Bischoff, probably a good seven inches or so taller. Bischoff says that he can have security take Cuban out or he can do it himself. Mark shoves Eric down but Randy Orton slides in and RKO’s Cuban, who sells it as well as any celebrity I’ve ever seen. If I remember right, this was actually referenced SIX YEARS LATER when Cuban guest hosted Raw. This was a waste of about seven minutes.

Evolution is having a party in the back with a ton of women. HHH takes his shirt off to drive the girls crazy but Flair says not yet because HHH has to fight later. Orton comes in and panics, stops to flirt with the girls, and then says that he’ll kill the legend of Austin tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are Doug and Danny, have Shaniqua with them and are defending here. Los Guerreros take over to start as this is apparently about something the Bashams did on Smackdown. What that was isn’t important enough to explain, but apparently it happened. Chavo and I think Danny start things off with Chavo in control. It’s quickly off to Danny who stomps Danny down in the corner and follows up with the Three Amigos.

It’s back to Chavo with a low dropkick for two and it’s right back to Eddie. A Sin Cara-esque headscissors takes both Bashams down but the champs double team Latino Heat to take over. Shaniqua, a big old monster chick that won Tough Enough 2, runs over Eddie on the floor and Doug pounds away on him in the ring. A double slingshot suplex puts Eddie down for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock by Danny. Eddie fights up and takes Danny down with a headscissors before tagging in Chavo.

Everything breaks down and another double flapjack puts Chavo down. Danny loads up something like a spinebuster off the middle rope but Eddie makes the save before Danny can jump. Eddie gets sent to the floor but Chavo dropkicks Doug down. Danny and Chavo clothesline each other down and the “twins” switch. Eddie takes Shaniqua down and Frog Splashes her. Let’s spank her too because she’s a dominatrix. Chavo hits a tornado DDT on Doug but kicks Eddie in the process. As Chavo checks on him, Danny rolls Chavo up to retain.

Rating: D+. I know the description sounded really dull, but there was nothing here at all. The guys in this match are pretty talented, but the tag division was so dead around this point. The Bashams just weren’t that interesting and there isn’t much else to say about it than that. That was a major problem back in 2003: a lot of the guys were just there and nothing of note, which is a shame as Danny is a legend in OVW but it never translated to WWE.

Los Guerreros glare at each other post match.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They had been sharing power and tonight’s match is for full control. Austin is skeptical about trusting anyone and he’s fired if he touches anyone. From what I understand from the video, if Austin’s team wins, he can beat up anyone he wants.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Dudley Boyz

Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Christian, Scott Steiner, Mark Henry

The Dudleys are Raw tag champions and RVD is IC Champion. Team Bischoff hides on the floor and Austin yells at Jericho a bit. Christian and D-Von start things off with the Dudley pounding away. A flying clothesline gets two on Christian and here’s Van Dam who gets the same off a spinwheel kick. Off to Jericho who gets kicked in the face as well, followed by a northern lights suplex for two.

A dropkick puts Van Dam down and here’s Steiner for the same power stuff he’s done for about eight years running now. After making Steiner miss in the corner and hitting a cross body, Van Dam gets caught in an overhead belly to belly suplex. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched, allowing Scott to hit an overhead belly to belly for two. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down and elbowed for tow.

Booker hits the forearm to take Steiner down and hits the ax kick but it’s a Spinarooni instead of a cover. Everything breaks down and Steiner hooks the Recliner on Booker. Stacy, Steiner’s reluctant manager, cheers for Booker. The distraction breaks the hold and the Dudleys hit the reverse 3D on Steiner and the Bookend gets the elimination. Henry comes in and immediately hits the World’s Strongest Slam to take Booker out and tie things up.

Van Dam comes back in and the kicks to Henry’s legs don’t do much good at all. Bubba gets a blind tag and pounds away on Henry but Mark runs him over. Bubba pounds away but brings in D-Von because it takes both Dudleyz to take Henry down. Henry misses a charge in the corner and walks into the 3D, allowing Van Dam to hit the Five Star. The dogpile pin is allowed and Henry is out.

It’s Jericho vs. Van Dam now with Rob sending Jericho into the corner for two. Off to Orton who clotheslines Van Dam down hard for two. RVD comes back with the springboard kick to the face but Jericho breaks up the Five Star, knocking Rob into the RKO for the elimination. Off to D-Von for a flapjack and a legdrop for two. A top rope headbutt gets two on Orton so it’s off to Jericho.

Chris’ missile dropkick puts D-Von down but Bubba breaks up the pin. Jericho is all cool with that though and hits the Flashback (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination. It’s Bubba and Shawn vs. Jericho, Christian and Orton. Here’s Shawn for the first time and house is quickly cleaned, but that little dust bunny known as Chris Jericho takes him down. Off to Orton again who gets in a few shots before getting clotheslined.

There’s the not hot tag to Bubba who beats up all three Bischites. A flapjack puts Jericho down and a backdrop gets two on Christian. A Samoan Drop puts Orton down and we get heel miscommunication between the Canadians. Jericho breaks up the Bubba Bomb with a low blow and the Unprettier pins Bubba, making it 3-1. Shawn immediately comes in with a forearm to Christian and the nip up as things speed up.

Jericho low bridges Shawn and the double stomp is on outside. Off to Orton as the heels slow things down. Shawn and Christian slug it out but Shawn has to beat up Jericho as well. Christian slingshots Shawn into the post and Michaels is busted open. Back in and Christian suplexes Shawn down before doing the HBK pose. Shawn is covered in blood as Christian shoves him out of the corner….and charges right into Sweet Chin Music for the elimination. That was sweet!

Jericho is all ticked off now and pounds away on Shawn’s forehead but Michaels comes back with a chop in the corner. Shawn can’t follow up though and a clothesline puts him down for two. Shawn comes back with a DDT out of the corner for a delayed two as Orton saves. Shawn throws Orton out to the floor but Jericho’s Lionsault hits knees and Shawn FINALLY gets up. The superkick misses but Shawn rolls Jericho up to counter the Walls and somehow it’s down to Orton vs. Shawn. Jericho, ever the bad sport, clocks Shawn with a chair.

Orton, who is still down from being thrown to the floor somehow, is left against a dead Shawn. Randy crawls back in but can only get two. He goes up but the cross body takes out the referee instead. Shawn loads up the Superkick but Bischoff comes in and kicks him down. Austin finally snaps and beats up Eric before Stunning Orton. Steve goes after Bischoff and throws him up the aisle, but Batista runs in and powerbombs Shawn, giving Orton the academic pin to win the match and send Austin away for at least a good three weeks.

Rating: B. This took A LONG time to get going, but once Shawn was on his own and got to get the crowd behind him completely, it was all gravy. The important thing here was that Shawn basically beat Christian and Jericho through a pair of flukes and not because he Hulked Up or anything like that. He caught Christian charging at him and rolled Jericho up when Jericho’s arms were being used in a hold. Shawn made this match work, as the other members of his team were useless. The guy really is that awesome.

Austin is shocked and goes into the ring where Shawn isn’t moving at all. He helps Michaels up and Shawn says he’s sorry. Austin pulls Shawn up and they shake hands with no Stunner. They walk up the aisle together and leave but Austin’s music plays and he comes out one more time. He says that he started his career 14 years ago right here in Dallas. Austin says if it has to end, he’s glad that it’s ending where it started. He says that you won’t hear him say this much, but he loves the fans.

This brings out Coach to sing the goodbye song and have security take Austin out. Austin of course beats up the guards and Coach as this is going on too long. Austin Stuns Coach and beer is consumed. He leaves the two cans sitting in the ring and flips off the crowd for old times’ sake.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince. Taker keeps trying to win the title but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy against Lesnar. Undertaker says that Vince has to be held accountable for his actions and on Smackdown, Taker won the right to have any match with anyone he picked. He said it was buried alive and Vince loved the idea of getting to see Lesnar bury Taker. Taker said not so fast my friend, because the match is against Vince.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldie won the title at Unforgiven so HHH put a $100k bounty on his head. Batista returned from an injury and broke Goldberg’s ankle to claim the bounty. This is almost literally the same story that Race and Flair had to set up the first Starrcade, with the main difference being that Race was champion when he set up the bounty. This gets the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. HHH

Goldberg is defending and has a broken ankle. Doesn’t that mean Batista didn’t take him out/put him on the shelf? With Flair still in the ring, Goldie limps and punches at the same time. There’s a spear to HHH but there’s no count because the bell hasn’t rung yet. Flair gets backdropped and there’s the bell. HHH gets knocked to the floor and the champ is in full control. Goldberg drops him face first onto the barricade and we head back inside.

Goldberg tries to use power but the ankle gives out on him. A chop block takes Goldberg down and we head to the floor for a low blow. Flair sends the leg into the post and is DRENCHED in sweat already. Back in and things slow down even more as HHH does whatever he can as Flair chokes away even more. HHH stays on the knee and the sequence keeps going on and on and on. That was the problem with HHH matches: they were the same boring formula over and over and it never worked.

HHH puts on a half crab but Goldberg is in the ropes. The ankle gets bent around the post as this is getting even more boring. Goldberg comes out of the corner with a clothesline but a powerslam is too much for him here. Goldberg kicks HHH into the referee and Flair throws in some brass knuckles to knock Goldberg out cold. That only gets two and HHH is ANGRY, so he drops an elbow on the referee.

It’s sledgehammer time but HHH charges into a boot. Flair gets slammed off the top and Goldie has the hammer. He takes Flair out with it but as he goes for HHH, Batista and Orton run in, only to be knocked out with the hammer as well. The Pedigree is countered and Goldberg throws down the hammer. The spear and the Jackhammer retain the title.

Rating: D+. Well the match sucked, but you certainly can’t say HHH didn’t put Goldberg over huge here. This is where the good parts of the match end. As for the bad: Goldberg wouldn’t sell the leg once the big insane part started, the match sucked, and HHH won the title a month later at Armageddon in a three way match, with Goldberg moving on to feud with Lesnar after this. Not a good match here but that was typical of HHH around this time.

Overall Rating: D+. This is from a bad time in the company as HHH was still on top but there were other things that were far more interesting. For instance, the Austin thing DEFINITELY should have closed this show as Shawn is the only thing that was really good on the whole card. On top of that, the main problem here is that other than the Shawn match, there’s no heart to this show. It comes, it goes, nothing really feels like it matters. That would be the case until Cena and Batista rose up to breathe new life into the company.

Ratings Comparison

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Original: B-

Redo: C

Molly Holly vs. Lita

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Basham Brothers vs. Los Guerreros

Original: D

Redo: D+

Team Bischoff vs. Team Austin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Goldberg vs. HHH

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

This matches up pretty well: most of the matches were about the same but a few were lower this time, as was the overall rating.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/12/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2003-austin-vs-bischoff/

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