Survivor Series Count-Up – 1994 (2012 Redo): Make Your Own Chuck Norris Jokes

Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon

We open with a clip from earlier today of the team captains giving their teams pep talks.

Gorilla and Vince are dressed as cowboys. Gorilla looks like he could almost pull the look off but Vince looks like a schnook.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett

Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Headshrinkers

Rating: C. This was all angle and not much wrestling. This was the big face turn for Diesel which would result in the world title incredibly soon after this. It was a face turn that made sense too as he was tired of Shawn telling him what to do and getting hurt as a result, so he gave up and went after Shawn. Ticked off giants are very fun, so the first few months of Diesel Power were fun stuff. It was the other eight or nine months that stopped being fun.

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy

Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

Jerry says he won the match and not the other ones. They celebrate anyway and Lawler keeps yelling, so they turn on him and the clowns join in for a six on one beatdown. The big payoff is Doink hitting Lawler with a pie. This ran nearly TWENTY MINUTES out of a two hour and forty minute show.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory

Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies

Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns

A group beatdown on Lex follows the match. The Gunns and Bomb make the save.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Original: C-

Redo: C

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Original: G (as in below an F)

Redo: S

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: A

Redo: A

Million Dollar Team vs. Guts and Glory

Original: C-

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-mr-bob-backlund-and-chuck-norris/




WWF Cage Match Compilation Volume I: I Could Get Used To This

So this is something new that I’m trying, as I recently purchased access to an INCREDIBLE treasure trove of wrestling from around the world and throughout history. It’s almost exclusively NOT WWF/E stuff so expect quite the variety. There is all kinds of stuff that I’ve never even heard of before (including a weekly French series from the early 90s for a real twist). I’m not sure how often I’ll be doing these but more wrestling is a good thing (in theory).

WWF Cage Match Compilation Volume I

Ok so it’s mostly non-WWF but they do have a collection of about 70 cage matches from the company, including quite a few fan cam recordings from house shows. That is going to make for quite the look back, though some of these are from major shows that you have probably seen before. I’ll be doing them at random in a series so let’s get to it.

Superstar Billy Graham vs. Butch Reed
Date: October 16, 1987
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,700
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Nick Bockwinkel

This is from Graham’s last run in wrestling and he only had a handful (ok two big handfuls) of matches before he hung it up for good. These two feuded for a good while during this run, though Graham’s body is rapidly deteriorating as he is already wrestling with a replaced hip and it’s only getting worse.

Before the match, we need to put the cage together (a thing that I miss but is completely impractical in the days of just hanging it above the ring). While that is taking place, we get some pre-match promos.

Graham talks about having Reed in the bearhug and now he’s ready to be locked in the cage so no one can interfere whatsoever.

Reed is ready to be in there man against man, and the REAL man is the only one leaving. Guess who that is supposed to be.

We go to the actual match and Reed jumps him on the way in to start fast. Graham is sent head first into the cage as Bockwinkel says this is like a prison cell. What kind of jails do they have in the AWA territory??? Anyway, Reed sends him into the cage and then uses Graham’s own bandanna to tie him to said cage. Reed charges into a knee though and Graham slips out.

This time it’s Reed going into the cage and Graham gets to choke with a shirt. It’s too early for Graham to get out as Bockwinkel thinks Graham’s knee might be his Achilles tendon. You were one word away from a perfect illustration. Reed gets caught trying to escape and Graham grabs a quickly broken sleeper. The ram into the cage lets Reed crank on the leg but Graham pulls him down.

A low blow doesn’t do much to Reed, who goes right back to the bad hip. Reed gets caught trying to climb out and the bearhug has him in trouble. That’s broken up with another ram into the cage but Graham pulls him down again. With the climbing not working, Reed pulls out some brass knuckles but misses a few shots, allowing Graham to use them on Reed instead. Graham dives (work with me here) out of the door to win at 11:04.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t exactly a great technical showdown, but that’s not what they were going for here. This was about Graham getting some revenge on Reed by hitting him in the face/sending him into the cage. The fans were still reacting to Graham and you could see the (super) star power, but the injuries were catching up to him way too fast to really be effective in a bigger way. Reed was good as usual, and for a big house show cage match, it worked well.

WWWF Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. Stan Hansen
Date: August 7, 1976
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 22,000
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Bruno is defending (of course) and this is a rematch from Showdown At Shea, which was a rematch from when Hansen broke Bruno’s neck. We get the ESCAPE ONLY explanation and Hansen looks like a monster during his introduction. Bruno gets a heck of a reception (shocking I know) and after some Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go. Hansen jumps him to start but Bruno fights right back and sends him into the cage to an awesome roar. Some stomping puts Bruno down for a bit but he fights back again and sends Hansen into the cage.

It’s too early for Hansen to escape so he hammers away some more, earning a stomping from Bruno for a change. A shot to the ribs slows Bruno down but Hansen misses the elbow. Bruno grabs a reverse chinlock (or Boston crab according to Vince) before just stepping on Hansen’s face. What looks to be a low blow gets Hansen out of trouble but Bruno is still fine enough to catch him trying to escape.

We get some boots to Hansen’s head (there is something awesome about the way Bruno swings his leg so wide as he kicks someone) so Hansen goes with another low blow (or “foul” as Vince calls it). Another escape attempt is cut off for another ram into the cage, this time busting Hansen open. Bruno ties him in the ropes and unloads on him as Hansen is almost out. One more big right hand drops Hansen and Bruno walks out to retain at 10:43.

Rating: B-. This was a good old fashioned fight as Bruno didn’t so much care about the title as much as he wanted revenge on Hansen. Bruno always looked best when he was ticked off and just wanted to hit someone in the face over and over, which is exactly what you got here. You can feel the emotion when Bruno is in the ring, as even someone like Hansen is just overwhelmed. Very fun match and the crowd’s reaction to Bruno is incredible.

Post match the rather bloody Hansen gets up and poses before collapsing again. Vince: “Hansen, absolute annihilated here.” That’s about the size of it, yeah.

Andre The Giant vs. Big John Studd
Date: September 24, 1983
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,983
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

We see Andre walking through the tunnel in the back and my goodness it’s such an imposing visual. That’s a big part of the appeal and dang does it work. Studd jumps him on the way in and stomps Andre down in the corner (that’s a weird sight) but the ram into the cage is blocked. Andre sends him into the cage a few times and Studd is already busted open.

Some rams into the other cage walls (just to be a completionist) have Studd staggered until he elbows Andre in the face a few times. Studd tries to leave so Andre sits on him for a rather painful cut off. Back up and Studd grabs a front facelock but gets cut off rather quickly for daring to try an escape.

Andre has to dive to cut off another escape attempt as Gorilla isn’t sure what size boot Andre wears. Back up and Andre sends him into the cage a few times but Studd hits a big clothesline. Studd’s next escape attempt is cut off with a legdrop to the back of the head and there’s the slam (good for $10,000). Andre goes nuclear by heading up top for a super sitdown splash. Since Studd is pretty much crushed beyond repair, Andre walks out to win at 10:04.

Rating: C+. Remember how I said the visual of Andre walking to the ring was awesome? The visual of him jumping off the top to crush an innocent human being is even better. I’ve seen him do it before but if there is a bigger ultimate finish in the WWF’s history, it’s a new one on me. Studd was one of the few people who could match size with Andre and he did well enough here, but there was no stopping the force that was Andre.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: June 28, 1982
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund is defending and it’s escape only again, albeit this time ONLY through the door (As apparently Backlund’s manager Arnold Skaaland thinks Snuka is too good at jumping over the cage. That’s quite a cop out for a heroic champion.) Snuka has Captain Lou Albano with him, like any good villain of the day should. Backlund tells him to get inside before grabbing him by the hair to start fast.

Some stomps have Snuka in trouble and Backlund strikes away, even headbutting Snuka without hurting himself. Snuka fires off some chops and knees as this is much more of a brawl so far. It’s Backlund going into the cage first as Vince talks about how there are TWO opponents each here, getting all philosophical you see. There’s the big whip into the cage and a backbreaker keeps Backlund in trouble.

The middle rope forearm/headbutt connects but it’s way too early for Snuka to escape. Backlund gets all fired up and punches away, setting up the catapult into the cage. Snuka is busted open and you know (at least you should) that a ticked off Backlund is going to go after that. A shot to the chest cuts Backlund off again though and an elbow….does nothing as pins don’t count here. Backlund gets suplexed but the splash off the top of the cage misses, allowing him to escape and retain at 10:25.

Rating: C+. This was just starting to get good when it wrapped up and that’s rather annoying. The splash off the cage looked like the big epic finish and Backlund escaping after it misses worked well enough, but the anger and hatred were just starting to flow here when they wrapped up. This was a huge feud at the time though and it’s easy to see why Snuka was a huge star the second he turned.

Post match Backlund says he kind of liked getting to hurt Snuka like that. He likes going out the door anyway because he wants more of a contest than a fight. Backlund respects Snuka’s power and athleticism and he’s ready for his next challenger, who might be Cowboy Bob Orton.

Vince gives us a quick backstory, saying Backlund and Orton were going to wrestle in high school but Backlund got hurt and couldn’t do it. As a result, Orton thinks he’s a coward but Backlund is ready to prove that he’s the better man. Backlund doesn’t have much say in who he faces but he’s requesting to face Orton. Total “bye golly’s” in this five minute interview: four. Oh and a “hello mom and dad”.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Date: January 11, 1987
Location: Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny V.

Hogan is defending and I’m surprised it took this long to get to one of his matches. In a rare moment, this is described as a ten foot cage instead of the traditional fifteen. Kamala has the Wizard and Kim Chee with him to uneven the odds a bit. Hogan has his face painted up and slaps his stomach on the way to the ring so Kamala uses the belt to beat the racial stereotypes out of him. Hogan fights back and chokes with the bandanna but has to block some cage shots.

There’s the back rake but Kamala sends him into the cage as Monsoon talks about Whipper Billy Watson. A leg dive keeps Kamala inside but he chops Hogan down. The splash connects as Gorilla talks about Kamala’s cannibalistic tendencies but it’s already Hulk Up time. The bloody Hogan sends him into the cage over and over and there’s quite the slam. Hogan drops the leg so Chee and the Wizard jump the referee and come in. That doesn’t work for Hogan, who beats all three of them up and goes through the door to retain at 6:19.

Rating: C. The match was nothing but Hogan came off like an absolute superhero here. He shrugged off Kamala’s biggest stuff, beat up the cheating managers, and walked out to retain in short order. The fans were going nuts for this too and I can’t say I blame them, as this is the Hogan that felt like the strongest force in the universe. How could you cheer for him?

Post match the villains go after him again and get beaten up, again! Posing ensues.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff
Date: January 3, 1987
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

Hogan is defending and this is a famous one, from Saturday Night’s Main Event #9. Before the match, Orndorff’s manager, promises to make Hogan the paper that lines a bird cage. Danny Davis is here as the second referee and yeah that is going to mean shenanigans. In the back, Hogan says the cage is the last resort. They both come out to Real American in a still awesome angle. Orndorff grabs the belt again for some shots but Hogan reaches for the ankle.

Hogan catches him on top as well, with Orndorff having to be dragged back over (Ventura: “Hogan would not be the champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald.” That line has cracked me up for over thirty years now.). Back down and Hogan punches away but Orndorff catches him on top. Orndorff misses some elbows and the comeback (I think?) is on but Davis doesn’t have the door unlocked in time. Some knees to the head rock Hogan again and stereo rams into the cage leave both of them down. They both climb up and get to the ground….at the same time at 6:45, with one referee each saying they both win.

It’s a tie, so we’ll get them back inside and keep going. Back from a break with Orndorff throwing him back inside and getting in some cheap shots. A fist drop triggers the comeback and Ventura isn’t happy. Some rams into the cage set up a backbreaker of all things into the legdrop. Heenan tries to break it up but Hogan shrugs him off, beats them both up and leaves to retain at 16:34.

Rating: B-. This was billed as the first cage match in network television history (accurate) and it felt like a big deal. Hogan vs. Orndorff had been a massive feud so giving them this big of a blowoff made sense. The stuff in the middle added some drama and as usual, the chemistry was rolling between these two. Hogan was off to something bigger though, which Orndorff would have to settle for the end of the biggest run of his career.

In the back, Heenan promises to get the footage of the match and show it to Jack Tunney because Orndorff is the champion. I still want one of those WWF duffle bags.

Hogan isn’t worried about Heenan’s plan.

Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake vs. Randy Savage/Zeus
Date: December 27, 1989
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

This is The Match from No Holds Barred: The Movie/The Match. Since the movie was falling apart, Vince McMahon tried this idea: get the movie on pay per view and see this match as well, as the big blowoff to the Hogan vs. Zeus feud (which would eventually be available on the original Supertape, which I’ve seen roughly 183 times). Hogan rips off Beefcake’s shirt but won’t let Beefcake do the same. That’s why he has no friends. Sherri, apparently a Beefcake fan, sends the cage door into Hogan’s face to drop him outside, leaving Beefcake two on one.

Since it’s Hogan, that lasts all of thirty seconds before Hogan punches Savage through the bars and climbs over the top to clean house. Zeus gets sent into the cage a few times to take over but he sends Hogan and Beefcake into the cage to drop both of them. Savage goes up but Beefcake breaks that up as well. The sleeper doesn’t last long on Zeus so the villains send Beefcake and Hogan into the cage a few times each. For some reason Savage and Zeus try to climb over the top, earning stereo suplexes back down.

All four are down so the referee tries to go inside (because he doesn’t understand the rules), allowing Sherri to ram him with the door as well. Sherri gives Savage the chain as he goes to the top of the cage but Beefcake manages to punch him out of the air. Savage and Beefcake fight on the side of the cage until Beefcake escapes and Hulk Hulks Up. With Beefcake dragging Savage out of the cage, Hogan sends Zeus into it a few more times. A slam sets up THREE LEGDROPS (GEEZ) for the pin at 9:44. Jesse: “I don’t believe it, he did it again!”.

Rating: C+. Watching this back, it is the definition of a post show dark match to send the fans home happy as other than Savage jumping off the cage, there really wasn’t anything special to this. Hogan dropping that many legs made it feel big, but the match itself is just pretty good. The nostalgia is strong enough though and Hogan was over like free beer in a frat house, so it’s the definition of good, easy fun.

WWF Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson
Date: September 24, 1979
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentator: Vince McMahon

Backlund, with Arnold Skaaland, is defending and Patterson’s Intercontinental title isn’t on the line. Vince says that this is the fourth time the two have fought at MSG, apparently the first time a match has happened that many times at the Garden. Backlund starts fast and sends Patterson into the cage a few times as the fans are rather pleased. It’s rather too early for either to escape so Backlund cages him again.

Patterson cuts him off for a change and rams him a few times, only to get caught at the door. With that not working, Patterson tries to climb out so Backlund goes up as well. They slug it out on top until Backlund barely makes a save for a double crash back to the mat. In a change of pace, Patterson goes for the door but gets caught, then goes over the top but gets caught.

What appears to be a foreign object busts Backlund open and Patterson hammers at the cut. Backlund gets up for a hard shot of his own and they’re both down again. Patterson pulls him down so Backlund hits a catapult into the cage to bust him open as well. The atomic drop hits Patterson but he catches Backlund on top. The swing with the foreign object misses but they crash back down anyway. Backlund kicks him away and backs out of the door to retain at 16:41.

Rating: C+. This one took some getting into and it was only so good. They did a lot of the same things over and over and it didn’t exactly work. Backlund was trying here and Patterson was usually good but something was holding them back. Maybe they needed to mix it up a bit but this didn’t get beyond pretty good.

WWWF World Title: Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele
Date: July 25, 1970
Location: Philadelphia Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sammartino is defending and this is the earliest match in the set. There is no commentary here and we see the cage put up by a guy in an undershirt for a weird visual. The ring announcer even tells us what the two of them will be wearing in a smart touch. Bruno starts fast and unloads with those kicks in the corner that he made look very good. The choking is on in the corner as it’s all Bruno to start.

Steele cuts him off from an early exit so Bruno unloads with some ax handles to the chest. A ram into the cage cuts Bruno off for once and the stomping ensues. Bruno manages to kick his way up from the mat (that’s awesome) to take over again and Steele is sent into the steel. Steele is allowed to go up but Bruno pulls him right back down for another crash.

A low blow gets Bruno out of trouble but he’s right back up and hammers Steele in the head. Bruno gets in those big stomps to the head and then chokes away until Steele goes to the eyes. Raking of the face has Bruno gyrating a bit and the fans are all over Steele. The blind Bruno swings away so Steele sends him into the corner for more stomping. Finally Bruno has had enough and just erupts, firing Steele into the cage over and over and stomping away. With Steele properly destroyed, Bruno walks out to retain at 14:34.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times before and it’s just fun. The crowd carries it a lot as they are absolutely rabid for Bruno and that comeback at the end had them looking like they were ready to kill Steele. It’s a very different era and they aren’t doing anything more than basic stuff, but my goodness the reactions and energy from Bruno are both great.

Jesse Ventura vs. Tony Atlas
Date: May 22, 1982
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 11,513
Commentators: Dick Graham, Kal Rudman

As usual, Jesse is great at being a heel, as he walks around the ring and yells at various people, like a villain should. Jesse takes his sweet time getting in and immediately tries to escape, only to be pulled back down to start the beating. Right hands and elbows have Ventura down fast but he blocks some rams into the cage. A headbutt puts him down instead but Ventura is back up with a failed ram of his own.

Ventura cheap shots him and sends Atlas into the cage to bust him open. A bite to the arm and an atomic drop keep Atlas in trouble as commentary is a bit stunned. For some reason it takes Ventura way too long to figure out how to get out of the cage, meaning the beating can be on again. Some rams into the cage bust Ventura open and then does it again to make it worse. Ventura hits him low for a breather but again takes way too long to go out. This time it takes so long that Atlas gets up, hops over the cage and escapes to win at 10:36.

Rating: C+. They were having a good fight until the kind of weird ending, as Atlas just suddenly remembered he had maxed out leaping ability and won. Ventura getting outsmarted, or at least outjumped, was kind of a weird way to go, but at least they had a unique way out. Not a great match, but it was getting good there at times.

Bruno Sammartino/Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper/Bob Orton Jr.
Date: October 26, 1985
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Dick Graham, Gorilla Monsoon

Before the match, Sammartino says he isn’t climbing over the top, but rather walking out the door after he has destroyed Piper and Orton. Yes Sammartino is a little older but he is ready to take these two out.

One more thing: before the match, we hear about next month’s card. This will include:

David Sammartino
Corporal Kirchner
Hercules Hernandez
Hart Foundation vs. Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim
Big John Studd vs. Hillbilly Jim (listed as a correction)
Don Muraco/Mr. Fuji vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat
King Kong Bundy vs. Andre The Giant

Freaking WOOF man, and the show itself would be even worse.

Anyway, all four are in at once here but in a twist, only one has to escape. It’s a brawl to start and Bruno is busted rather quickly. Orndorff slugs back to take over, including taking Orton’s cast and using it to smash Piper in the head. Piper is busted open and panics as he tries to escape, only to be pulled back inside.

Bruno is back up as well and starts unloading on Piper (as only Bruno can) but a cheap shot takes him down. Everyone is busted and we hit stereo chinlocks (that’s a new one in a cage match) but the good guys are up rather quickly. Orndorff and Orton go up and over at the same time, with Orndorff hitting the ground first for the win at 7:33.

Rating: B-. As has been the case, this was getting somewhere and then it ended before it could turn into something really good. What matters here is that Bruno got to look like a killer again as the awesome Piper vs. Orndorff feud continues. I could go for either combination of this again and that is because there was some awesome talent in there. Good stuff here, but it could have been better.

Post match Orton gets right back in and Bruno is left laying. Because THAT’S a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Magnificent Muraco vs. Jimmy Snuka
Date: October 17, 1983
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

You might have heard of this one and Muraco is defending. Before the match, a serious Muraco talks about the experience you need in a cage match and how he is still champion because he is the best.

Snuka’s manager Buddy Rogers talks about how Snuka will win because he is the best.

Snuka promises violence in the cage, as only he can bring.

We get the entrances from the backstage, including the famous fan sign “When Snuka Flies, Muraco Dies.” Snuka checks the cage and looks up, with a certain Hardcore Legend Mick Foley clearly seen in the crowd after hitch hiking because he had to see this match in person. Snuka goes right after him to start and chops against the ropes but a catapult sends him into the cage.

Another shot puts Muraco back down and Snuka goes up, but Muraco knows what that means and cuts him off quick. A slam off the top brings Snuka back down, followed by a low blow to keep him down. Back up and Snuka’s chops bust Muraco open to make it even worst. The middle rope forearm to the head sets up a flying headbutt….and Muraco goes sprawling through the door to retain at 6:46.

Rating: C+. Oddly enough, for one of the most famous moments ever in wrestling, the match is pretty much nothing. Muraco was terrified of letting Snuka get up top and then absolutely lucked his way into retaining. Snuka was so obsessed with violence and revenge that he kind of screwed himself over, but you could feel the intensity here, which is one of the places where Snuka often shined.

Snuka isn’t having that and pulls Muraco back in for a suplex. Then he climbs the cage and, in one of the most famous shots in WWF history, dives off with the splash to END Muraco (who sells it perfectly and doesn’t move an inch). Snuka drops the belt on him and poses before leaving.

Post match, Muraco’s manager Lou Albano says that Muraco is hurt but not destroyed. Muraco survived the most dangerous move in wrestling history and Albano goes on a rant about how Muraco fell out of the door COMPLETELY on purpose because he’s that smart.

Overall Rating: B-. The overall rating doesn’t mean much here as it’s just a random assortment of matches but there really isn’t a great one on here. A lot of these are rather short but what matters is how much the energy is cranked up. This was about beating the fire out of each other and it did show just how intense things can get when the cage is involved. Good enough stuff here, and I’ve got more than enough of these for a few extra volumes, which sounds rather appealing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 8, 1994: The Million Dollar Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 8, 1994
Location: Beeghly Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We continue on the road to Summerslam Monday (yeah it’s still weird) and in this case that means we need to keep setting things up. A good chunk of the card has already been announced and now it is time to put on some finishing touches. That could mean more than a few things and hopefully some of them are covered this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video features doctors in surgery but stopping to turn Raw on at 9. That’s not great patient care.

Commentary runs down the card.

Fake Undertaker vs. Butch Banks

Ted DiBiase is here with the Fake Undertaker, who strikes away to start in a decent impression but missing the finer points. Choking in the corner and on the ropes set up a clothesline, followed by….more choking on the ropes. The chokeslam finishes Banks at 2:58, thankfully ending the crowd’s horribly bored silence. They seem to have given up on the story meaning much by now because it’s just not working.

Post match Banks gets the body bag treatment.

We see Leslie Nielsen’s character from the Naked Gun movies trying to track down the Undertaker. To be continued, because it just has to be.

We look back at Lex Luger on the Heartbreak Hotel, where Shawn Michaels accused Luger of selling out to Ted DiBiase. Luger says that he was made a very lucrative offer but didn’t say yes.

Lex Luger vs. Chad Miller

Before the match, Ted DiBiase comes out to hold up some money at Luger, who walks away. After a break, we get the opening bell and go split screen to DiBiase, saying he told Luger to not worry about a thing. Luger grabs an armbar and then a hammerlock, the latter of which sends Miller over to the ropes. Miller gets knocked down again, setting up the running forearm for the pin at 2:59.

The Summerslam Report with Todd Pettengill runs down the whole card. The big deal: Walter Payton will be in Razor Ramon’s corner against Diesel.

Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS vs. Tatanka/Doink The Clown

Ted DiBiase is here with Bigelow and IRS because he has to be in every segment this week. Dink is here too, because it’s 1994. IRS shoulders Tatanka down and drops an elbow for two. Back up and Tatanka dropkicks him into the corner, setting up a hard whip. A clothesline gives Tatanka two so it’s off to Doink, who is quickly hiptossed. Bigelo comes in and actually gets drop toeholded for two, setting up a Fujiwara armbar of all things. Tatanka comes back in to chop away until Bigelow sends him outside as we take a break.

Back with Tatanka sunset flipping IRS for two but a Bigelow cheap shot gives IRS the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Bigelow elbows Tatanka in the face. Tatanka and Bigelow try crossbodies at the same time (which Savage says he has NEVER seen before). The hot tag brings in Doink (sure) and house is cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and IRS hits the Write Off for the pin on Tatanka at 11:30.

Rating: C-. That’s how Bigelow and IRS were set up for the Summerslam title shot: by beating Tatanka and Doink. I’m not sure how this is supposed to be their best option either but here we are, and no it didn’t work. The Headshrinkers vs. IRS/Bigelow doesn’t exactly scream interesting in any way, but the tag division really was that bad at this point.

Post match Tatanka gets beaten down but Lex Luger makes the save. DiBiase puts money in Luger’s hands (Luger didn’t ask for it) and gets jumped by Bigelow. Tatanka sees Luger holding the money and freaks out, as expected.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler bringing out Owen Hart, with Jim Neidhart. Owen is very excited about his Summerslam cage match against Bret, which are just like the cage matches they had in the Dungeon (that must be worth a look). We hear about Owen’s history with Bret and how he has since gone on to become the King Of The Ring.

Owen says that the entire Hart Family is behind him, but Lawler brings out Bruce Hart (announced as being here earlier tonight) to say not so fast. Bruce points out how much help Owen has needed from Neidhart and how the family is disgusted by Owen. He also accuses Neidhart of being jealous of Bret for carrying the Hart Foundation…and we’re just done. Heck of a promo here from a fired up Bruce but it felt like it got cut off at the end.

Video on the New Generation, which is WAY better than that Hogan/Andre garbage.

Bob Backlund vs. Kevin Krueger

Vince tries to explain that Backlund is NOT part of the New Generation but yeah it’s not the best looks. Krueger won’t shake hands to start so Backlund pulls him down with an armdrag. With his celebration complete, Backlund twists the arm around and sweeps the leg as this is one sided so far. Krueger’s wristlock lasts all of two seconds as Backlund kicks him away. Vince thinks there is an evil spirit in Backlund as the fans want Bret. We pause for Backlund to pose on the ropes before the crossface chickenwing finishes Krueger at 3:52.

Rating: C-. The Backlund thing is a work in progress to put it mildly, as he’s mostly wrestling as his old good guy self but with a lethal finisher. That’s all well and good, but the finisher isn’t cheating or illegal, so what is bad about him here? Other than the fans wanting Bret more, he doesn’t feel like a villain yet and that’s a problem.

Preview for next week’s show.

Lex Luger goes to Ted DiBiase’s dressing room to find him but Tatanka comes in, saying he knew he would find Luger here. The argument ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was the Ted DiBiase show and that is only going to take you so far. DiBiase is a rich man and that’s about all he can really do here. The rest of Summerslam is a bit more interesting, but that didn’t get any real focus here. Not a great show, but at least they do have a few more weeks to focus on the other stuff.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 1, 1994: Where Are The Ladders?

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 1, 1994
Location: Beeghly Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage

We are on the way to Summerslam and that means the big stories are Bret Hart vs. Owen hart and Undertaker vs. Maybe Undertaker. One of these feuds is a bit better than the other and I’ll let you figure out which is which. Other than that, Vince McMahon’s steroids trial is FINALLY over and somehow he escaped. I wonder how much that will be mentioned. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels, including the ladder match from earlier this year. Diesel is facing Ramon at Summerslam, but tonight it’s Ramon vs. Shawn.

Razor and Shawn are ready for each other.

Opening sequence.

Vince and Savage welcome us to the show, with Savage making it clear that Vince is COMPLETELY exonerated. Just in case there was any doubt you see.

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Intercontinental Champion Diesel is here with Shawn and it’s almost weird to see these two having a regular match. They take turns missing each other to start until Shawn takes him down and walks over his back. That earns him a heck of a right hand and a big whip over the corner to the floor. Back in and Shawn dives into a fall away slam for two, setting up the armbar.

Shawn fights up and chokes a bit in the corner before a dropkick gets two. The chinlock goes on for a good while until Razor fights up. Another dropkick doesn’t work so well for Shawn, as Razor catches the legs and catapults him over the top and down onto Diesel (in a great visual).

We take a break and come back with Razor grabbing an abdominal stretch until Shawn goes to the eye for the escape. The big backdrop sends Shawn flying again as commentary makes fun of the Goodwill Games. Razor grabs the bearhug for a good bit until Shawn elbows his way out. Shawn’s back is still banged up though and Razor slaps it right back on. With Shawn escaping for good, they hit the pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Shawn throwing him over the top.

Diesel gets in a clothesline on the floor as we take a break. Back with Diesel throwing Shawn back inside so Shawn can hit a jumping back elbow for two more. The sleeper puts Razor down for two arm drops until the traditional belly to back suplex to escape. Back up and Razor puts him on top for the belly to back superplex, which is broken up just as fast. Shawn’s high crossbody gets two and the superkick (still not a big deal) gets the same.

With nothing else working, Shawn tries a Razor’s Edge of his own but gets backdropped without much trouble. Diesel gets up for a distraction so Shawn can grab the title, which doesn’t go right either. A second distraction, this time in the form of a big boot, does work though and Shawn grabs a rollup (with trunks of course) for the pin at 25:02.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah this worked, even though I spent most of the match looking around for the ladders. It’s another great example of letting talented wrestlers go out there and do their thing, especially when they’re motivated and showing chemistry. This is quite the hidden gem as you always hear about the ladder matches but they tore the house down with an awesome regular match instead. Check this one out if you get the chance.

Post match the beatdown is on until the referees make the save.

We get the Summerslam Report featuring Todd Pettengill. Some matches for the card are listed off, with Todd thinking Razor Ramon will need some backup for his Intercontinental Title shot against Diesel. Just a thought of course.

Alundra Blayze vs. Bull Nakano

Blayze’s Women’s Title isn’t on the line and Luna Vachon is here with the debuting Nakano. Blayze kicks away to start but gets taken down with one heck of a hair toss. A powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Blayze two and a spinning kick to the face drops Nakano again. As commentary make fun of Nakano’s looks, she grabs a chinlock to keep Blayze down.

A piledriver gives Nakano two as she pulls Blayze up. Nakano powerbombs her for two more as commentary isn’t sure what to make of this. Blayze gets two off a sunset flip and she gets away from the guillotine legdrop. Blayze’s German suplex gets two (Savage says no one has ever kicked out of it before) and she dropkicks Nakano off the top to the floor. One heck of a dive to the floor takes Nakano down again but she posts Blayze hard. The brawl takes them to a double countout at 5:31.

Rating: B. This was a FIGHT and one of the best women’s matches you will see in the company to date. It’s amazing what happens when you give Blayze, who was a lot better in the ring than she was given credit for being, someone who can wrestle with any of them rather than the goofy old school stuff. I got way into this one and there’s a reason why this feud is still talked about to this day.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Bob Backlund as the special guest. Hold on though, as we first have a guy propose to his girlfriend in the crowd. Lawler isn’t impressed and mocks them both, but we’ll get the answer later. Apparently later means after the break, with the woman in the ring (and the guy in the crowd). First though, Lawler has a few questions/jokes and she finally says yes.

Lawler kisses her (the guy is mad) and then she leaves so here is Backlund for his interview. Actually make that the REIGNING WWF Champion Bob Backlund, as he never lost the title. Backlund talks about how he tried to help people throughout his career and his hiatus from wrestling. People have changed in those last ten years and he is very disappointed. Savage thinks Backlund has an attitude problem as he insists that he never gave up in 1983, so he is STILL the champion.

As commentary talks over Backlund, we see….nothing different, as Lawler talks about beating Bret Hart in the middle of the ring. Backlund calls Hart part of a horrible society as we go to a clip of Backlund snapping on Hart after their match. This was all over the place, as the proposal was long and commentary wouldn’t shut up as Backlund talked.

Smoking Gunns vs. George Anderson/Tom Bennet

Joined in progress with Anderson coming in and getting kicked in the ribs by Bart. Billy drops a knee and we take a break, coming back with Billy hitting a dropkick setting up the Sidewinder for the pin at 5:24. We didn’t even see two minutes of the match but we did get more of Savage praising Vince’s legal team.

They’re off the air literally five seconds after the match is over.

Overall Rating: B+. Until the goofy Lawler stuff, this was looking to be an all time episode and certainly one of the best of this era. The first half of the show is an awesome match and the second match is very good in its own right. If you ignore it coming to a screeching halt with the proposal and the incredibly squeezed in (and nothing) tag match, it’s a classic. Check out that opener and the women’s match if it’s your thing, as they’re both worth seeing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 18, 1996: The Attitude Era Comes Early

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 18, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

It’s the night after Survivor Series and there is a lot to unpack. First of all, Sid is the new WWF Champion (somehow the first major singles title of his career), having hit Shawn Michaels with a camera to win the title. Other than that, Bret Hart beat Steve Austin in a classic to give Austin something else to get mad over. To cap it off, Rocky Maivia made his in-ring debut, because the show didn’t have enough going on. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind

This is billed as a Toughman Contest, which seems to mean anything goes. It was also supposed to be Vader vs. Austin but Vader was hurt so we get what should be an upgrade. Mankind jumps him in the aisle to start fast with Mankind knocking Austin down, leaving Austin’s eyes bugging out (possibly at the fan sign which clearly has an F bomb). Austin gets whipped hard into the steps as we’re still waiting on the bell to ring.

They get inside for the opening bell and Austin hammers away in the corner with the style that made him famous. Some ax handles off the apron rock Mankind again but he posts Austin for a breather. Back in and Austin hits a heck of a clothesline before hammering away again. They go outside again with Austin whipping him HARD over the barricade but Mankind gets the Mandible Claw back inside. Austin kicks him low to escape and we take a break.

Back with Mankind dropping an apron legdrop and sending Austin throat first into the barricade. They get back in again where Mankind snaps off a neckbreaker. Austin’s sleeper is broken up and Mankind blasts him with another clothesline. Mankind goes up but gets pulled back down and choked on the mat. They’re already back on the floor with Austin taking over, setting up the middle rope elbow back inside. Mankind is in trouble but here is the Executioner to jump Austin for the DQ at 11:18.

Rating: B+. This was GREAT and one of the best fights you’ll ever see on Raw. They didn’t bother with wrestling and just beat the living daylights out of each other for a while. It felt like a match two years ahead of its time as you would absolutely believe this belonged in the heart of the Attitude Era. This was physical and violent, but above all else, it is the kind of match that would get your attention fast, which is what Raw needed.

Post match Undertaker runs in for the save but Austin clotheslines him out for a bonus.

Video on Survivor Series.

The suspended Ahmed Johnson is in the crowd.

Here is Sunny to introduce Faarooq, complete with PG-13 handling the rap.

Faarooq vs. Savio Vega

Vega hammers away in the corner to start and monkey flips Faarooq out of another corner. Sunny joins commentary (Lawler approves) as Faarooq fights out of a hammerlock. A hard whip into the corner rocks Vega again and there’s a belly to back as we take a break. Back with Vega in a reverse chinlock and Johnson, uh, watching the match from the crowd.

Vega suplexes his way out of trouble again and gets two off a small package. An elbow misses for Vega but he crotches Faarooq on top. They fall off the top and out to the floor and thankfully are fine enough for Vega to land a spinwheel kick. Vega misses a charge so PG13 goes after him, allowing Faarooq to get the easy pin at 11:15.

Rating: C. They got a bit more time than they needed here but what mattered was a pretty nice back and forth match. Faarooq was still rather mobile at this point and could do the power stuff, but he was stuff dealing with Johnson for such a long time. Not a bad match at all though, which shouldn’t be a surprise given the talent in there.

Post match Johnson runs in with his 2×4 to clear the ring. Johnson is livid with Faarooq and swears revenge. We get Johnson’s YOU’RE GOING DOWN chant and you can feel the charisma. If he could stay healthy for more than eighteen minutes at a time, the potential was right there.

Sunny beats Bob Backlund at Karate Fighters.

Sid is waiting to talk to Jim Ross.

Vince McMahon talks about Sid turning full heel by hitting Jose Lothario with a TV camera to win the WWF Title. Vince makes it sound like Sid set a bus full of puppies on fire and praises Shawn’s title reign. It turns into an almost weird praising of Michaels and the title reign, with Vince promising that Michaels will be back. This was just weird, as Vince was making it sound like Shawn was either dead or at least horribly injured.

Bob Holly/Leif Cassidy vs. Doug furnas/Philip LaFon

Captain Lou Albano wanders out to do….Spanish commentary? LaFon and Cassidy start things off with LaFon taking him down into an armbar. That’s broken up so Cassidy misses a kick to the face, earning a knock out to the floor. Back in and we go split screen, with Owen Hart and British Bulldog not wanting to hear about Furnas and LaFon. Cassidy comes back in and blasts LaFon in the back of the head with a clothesline as we take a break.

We come back with Cassidy hitting a dropkick as commentary talks about baseball contracts. LaFon gets over to Furnas for the tag and house is cleaned in a hurry. A dropkick gives Furnas two and a Frankensteiner get the same, with Cassidy having to make the save. Cassidy’s dragon suplex gets two on LaFon so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cobra clutch suplex to give LaFon the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. You could see the different style from Furnas and LaFon here and that is the kind of thing that the company needed to try at this point. The problem is that they were hardly the most interesting team and that showed here. This was two dull teams having a pretty hard hitting match with a nasty looking finish. It worked, but only so much.

Here is Sid for his first appearance as WWF Champion (the title does look good on him) with Jim Ross handling the interview. Ross says that Sid is the man and it is his time, but does he have any regrets of how he won the title? Sid says that he doesn’t, because Jose Lothario made the mistake of getting involved. Sure Shawn Michaels can have a rematch because Sid can beat him again. There are challengers lining up, starting with Bret Hart at In Your House on December 15. Sid is ready and promises to keep the title, setting up his awesome pyro to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The opener is great and the rest is just ok, but the biggest change here is things felt more aggressive. We are still a pretty far cry away from the full on Attitude Era, but you could feel that things are changing. Austin is leading the charge but there are more than enough others to back him up. The opener is absolutely worth seeing, if nothing else because of what it could mean for the show’s future.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – November 4, 1996: Pillman’s Got A Gun

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 4, 1996
Location: War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 4,555
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

The march through the first four years continues and….oh boy it’s this show. The show has officially moved to 8pm and they wanted to start with a bang. In this case, that means Steve Austin going to Brian Pillman’s house and Pillman is going to be waiting on him. Oh yeah, it’s THIS show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Steve Austin being thrown out of the WWF studios by the police over making such a ruckus. In addition, Shawn Michaels and Sid just might not be able to trust each other. Yeah yeah. Back to Austin already.

Opening sequence, complete with someone coughing.

Kevin Kelly is live at Brian Pillman’s home in Walton, Kentucky for an interview. Steve Austin has promised to show up, despite Pillman recovering from ankle surgery.

Goldust vs. The Stalker

Goldust’s entire Survivor Series team, plus Mr. Perfect and Marlena, are here with him. Stalker (better known as Barry Windham) has his team with him too (including one Rocky Maivia, making his Raw debut). They start on the floor before Stalker (or Barry Windham as Vince calls him) takes him inside and falls down armdragging him.

We go split screen to hear from Doc Hendrix, who patches in a phone call from Steve Austin, on his way to Brian Pillman’s house. So yeah, we’re looking at half a screen of someone who basically handed Vince the phone. Anyway Austin is on his way as Windham gets two off a powerslam. Austin isn’t worried about any gun Pillman threatens to have because he’s a big star and hangs up.

Goldust is sent outside but gets thrown back inside by Windham’s team, drawling Jerry Lawler (also part of Goldust’s team) off commentary. Goldust catches Windham on top and kisses him down, only to dive into a raised boot as we take a break. Back with the two of them crashing out to the floor and yeah it’s time for the teams to start fighting, which is enough for the double DQ at 7:32.

Rating: D+. Understated historic debut aside, there was only to much to be done here, as most of the match was focused on the phone call and then they only had about 45 seconds after the break. Then again, it isn’t like the upcoming Survivor Series match was going to be anything more than a showcase for Maivia. Was anyone that interested in Barry Windham in 1996?

Doc Hendrix hypes up Survivor Series, focusing on Undertaker vs. Mankind. We see a clip from what appears to be a special called Bing Bang Boom (granted the RAW set kind of makes that feel off), with Mankind promising to destroy Undertaker. Cue Undertaker’s voice to promise pain, plus a one person cage for Paul Bearer, complete with a dummy inside. Note that the Executioner, better known as Terry Gordy, is here for a mini (and of course unmentioned) Freebirds reunion.

We go to Brian Pillman’s house where Pillman, with his wife Melanie, says Steve Austin has made this personal. Vince cuts in to say Steve Austin is circling the neighborhood but Pillman says he knows Austin better than anyone. Pillman doesn’t feel like he’s a hostage, because when Austin 3:16 meets Pillman 9mm Glock…..and Austin is apparently outside, as Pillman pulls out a gun.

With that cut away, we go back to the Karate Fighters tournament, with Sid beating Marlena. This was a toy that sponsored Survivor Series, giving us this kind of thing week after week. And yes, there were brackets.

Back at Pillman’s house, Austin beats up Pillman’s friends outside his house. One of them even gets his head crushed in a Jeep door while the other gets beaten up in a kid’s pool. Austin tries to go inside but has to go around to the back (with Vince calling it a publicity stunt, which is about as ironic as you can get). Worked in Home Alone…kind of.

Alex Porteau vs. The Sultan

Bob Backlund and the Iron Sheik are here with the Sultan. Before the match, Backlund insists that the Sultan will bring you into the 21st century as a respectable WWF Champion. Sultan sweeps the leg and grabs a belly to belly as commentary is all about Austin/Pillman. A backbreaker and the camel clutch finish for Sultan at 2:09. Of note: Vince says Austin and Pillman are former Tag Team Champions, a rare reference to another company’s title reigns.

Austin breaks a window and Pillman gets up with the gun pointed….as we lose the satellite feed.

Jim Ross brings out Shawn Michaels (with Jose Lothario) and Sid for a face to face meeting before their title match at Survivor Series. We see a clip of Sid turning on Shawn and powerbombing him over and over about a year ago, but Shawn says he has already forgiven him. That’s why he brought Sid back again, because ultimately, they are still friends. Sid: “THAT’S BULL****!”

Shawn says Sid has to know who he should thank for getting back in the WWF, but JR asks why Sid hit Shawn from behind last week. Sid calls JR fat and says it was just a mistake, which Shawn seems to accept. We hear a voiceover from Vince saying we now return you to Cincinnati where they have reestablished their satellite feed. Vince: “No….sorry, we don’t have it.”

Sid agrees that he is the favorite going into the match because of his size, but Shawn says Sid’s ability will be his downfall. Shawn says Sid isn’t in his league, with Sid saying that’s true: he isn’t in Little League. Violence is teased but here are Jim Cornette and Owen Hart/British Bulldog, who are facing Shawn and Sid next week.

The brawl is on with Vader getting involved too and Owen hits Sid with a chair. Shawn takes the chair away and makes the save but Sid thinks Shawn hit him. The villains come back again, only to get cleared out again. This went a bit long but it did build some tension for the title match at Survivor Series, even if it is feeling miles beneath anything involving Austin.

We recap Steve Austin beating up Brian Pillman’s friends and Pillman pulling the gun.

Marc Mero vs. Fake Razor Ramon

Sable and Fake Diesel are here too. As usual, Diesel looks like someone who might actually resemble the real thing if you’re about fifty feet away and only catching a glance but Razor…my goodness no. Jim Ross joins commentary to continue his heel run, which still doesn’t work no matter how much they try. Razor takes him into the corner for a weak slap to start but Mero punches his way out of trouble.

We get a phone call from Kerwin Silfies, who is in the production truck in Cincinnati. Brian Pillman’s power seems to be out as Mero armdrags him into an armbar. Silfies heard some noises but isn’t sure if they were gunshots. What kind of a roving reporter is he supposed to be?

We take a break and come back with Mero slugging Razor down as the scintillating phone call continues. The cops are still not at Pillman’s house and Vince is getting annoyed at them not being around yet. Razor works on the arm for a change but something happens at the truck and Silfies’ call drops. The chinlock goes on as even Lawler is sick of hearing about Austin and wants to talk about the match.

Mero finally fights up as Vince is in his serious voice talking about Pillman’s house. A missile dropkick gets two on Razor and a super hurricanrana (ignored by commentary to talk about Mr. Perfect appearing on Livewire) gets the same. Cue Mr. Perfect as we take ANOTHER break. Back again with Mero hitting a fall away slam but HHH (here with Perfect) breaks up the Wild Thing. The Razor’s Edge finishes Mero at 12:35 as Vince apologizes for a lack of enthusiasm over the match.

Rating: D-. This was the exact same thing that used to drive me nuts on Nitro: commentary completely ignoring everything in the match, even if it wasn’t very good, to talk about something else. Yes the Pillman/Austin stuff is more important but could you at least pretend what is going on in the ring matters? Granted it doesn’t help when the match is downright appalling, but don’t just ignore it entirely for the sake of one other angle that has dominated the show.

We look back at Pillman pulling the gun on Austin.

We go back live (with just two minutes left in the show for an amazing stroke of luck) and commentary asking if anyone was shot. Pillman is being held back by his friends (I like that UK shirt one of them has on) but Austin comes in again. The friends go after him and Pillman rants a bunch, including dropping an audible F bomb and waving the gun around to end the show.

Ok so that was a lot. To say this was a game changer for the WWF would be an understatement, as we go from what was still the cartoon era to Pillman literally pulling a gun on Austin. USA had wanted something new and edgier to combat Nitro but then took this REALLY badly and nearly canceled the show. Granted then it wound up being the style that made Raw a juggernaut and finished WCW off for good, but this really didn’t go well at first and it’s easy to see why. It’s such a jarring change from everything the WWF had been doing but yeah, it more than worked in the end.

Overall Rating: D+. Historic nature aside, this was a show that felt like Nitro and not in a good way. It was all about one story with everything else, including the World Title, feeling like a distant second. If you’re in on that story then you’ll have a good time, but other than that, there was nothing worth seeing here and it was painfully obvious. The times are certainly changing though and that is something that absolutely needed to happen. It could have been a bit more smooth, but this was the kind of thing that saved Raw and they are diving into it head first.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – October 23, 1995: The Different Kind Of Bad

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 1995
Location: Keystone Center, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We are fresh off of In Your House: Great White North, which featured one of the worst main events in company history as Diesel retained the WWF Title over the British Bulldog. Thankfully we are back to a live show this week after last week’s AWFUL show, meaning things can’t get any worse. Well in theory at least. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a quick pay per view recap and a quicker preview of this week’s show. This includes Diesel retaining the WWF Title and brawling with Bret Hart, plus Shawn Michaels having to forfeit the Intercontinental Title to Dean Douglas due to his injuries. Then about 14 minutes later, Razor Ramon beat Douglas to win the title.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly, Fatu, 1-2-3 Kid, Savio Vega, King Kong Bundy, Henry Godwinn, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Owen Hart, Jean Pierre LaFitte, Duke Droese, Bam Bam Bigelow, Skip, Rad Radford, Aldo Montoya, Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Sid, Isaac Yankem, Kama Mustafa

The winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot against Razor Ramon next week. It’s a….well it’s a battle royal to start and Bundy, who hasn’t been around in months, is out fast. Aldo is tossed as Sid and Fatu keep fighting on and off. We are firmly in the brawling against the ropes with no one being eliminated phase until Holly is out, meaning we get race car jokes from commentary.

Sid kicks Droese out and Skip tosses Hakushi as we hear about the United Nations. Kama punches out Fatu as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. There goes Skip at Horowitz’s hands and we take a break. Back with some eliminations having taken place during the break, meaning we’re down to Jannetty, Yankem, Sid, Bigelow, LaFitte, Vega and Hart. There goes Yankem to get us down to six and Owen has to save himself. Bigelow knocks Sid out and we take another break.

Back again with Bigelow gone, meaning we’re down to four. Jannetty hits a clothesline on Owen and hammers away in the corner as Vince tries to tell us how interesting some of these people would be against Razor. Vega manages to save himself and avoids a spinwheel kick from Owen. Marty tosses Vega and LaFitte but Owen manages to hang on. A clothesline puts Owen on the apron but he (barely) holds on to various ropes to survive some right hands.

Back in and an enziguri rocks Marty, who manages to hang on as well. Owen sends him through the ropes, meaning Marty has to grab Jim Cornette’s tennis racket and chase him off, allowing British Bulldog to pop up and jump Jannetty. Back in and Marty makes ANOTHER comeback but Owen finally sends him out for the win and the title shot.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and probably could have been done in about half the time, especially with how long it took to get rid of a lot of people. Owen vs. Razor will be fine for a title match but I would hope they could come up with a better way to set up the match than dragging King Kong Bundy out of mothballs. Bad match and even worse, it felt long.

Post break, Owen promises to win the Intercontinental Title.

We look back at Bret Hart getting involved with last night’s main event and brawling with Diesel after the match. They’re already set for the Survivor Series title match.

It’s time for the Survivor Series Slam Jam (Control Center) with the announcement of the Wild Card match. This is an idea that I could go for again, as they are having a Survivor Series match with friends and enemies being randomly paired together. That’s a nice twist and it could work again.

Bob Backlund is campaigning for Congress. In the wrong country.

Ahmed Johnson is ready for Survivor Series.

Avatar vs. Brian Walsh

Avatar is a masked ninja who comes to the ring unmasked before putting it on for the bell. Uh yeah. Avatar legdrags him down and cranks on the arm before hitting a superkick to the back of the head. A top rope dive has to be canceled so Avatar hits a slingshot dive instead as the crowd somehow goes even more quiet. Back in and Walsh hits some clotheslines but gets caught with a backbreaker. A standing moonsault and then a weird jumping splash finishes for Avatar. This gimmick was horrible of course, but Avatar would get a bit better when he would lose the mask and wrestle under the better name of Al Snow.

Next week: Goldust’s Raw debut.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye

Faye (a rather odd looking woman whose large size was emphasized) is defending and has her boyfriend Harvey Wippleman with her. Blayze gets run over to start and Faye drops some legs for two. Some chest bumps in the corner crush Blayze, whose sunset flip doesn’t get her very far. Faye sits on her chest as Lawler comments on Faye’s weight, because that’s the entire point of her being here. Blayze is knocked around again to continue the dominance as we take a break.

Back with Blayze being sent to the apron but managing to ram her face first into the buckle. A middle rope dropkick gets two on Faye (Big Bertha Faye according to Vince for the fifth or so time) and some running clotheslines connect for the same. Blayze takes her time loading up the powerbomb so Faye counters with a backdrop. Faye takes her own time going up though and a super hurricanrana pulls her back down. Harvey’s distraction fails and Blayze grabs the bridging German suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Commentary alone was hard to sit through and I was feeling sorry for Faye more than anything else. Blayze getting the title back was a fine story but come on with the treating Faye like some kind of disgusting slob. It’s one of those things that was bad at the time and then aged even worse, which is the case with too many things in this company’s history. Blayze wouldn’t lose the title, but she would indeed drop it a few months later.

We get a sitdown interview with Shawn Michaels, who has two banged up eyes after being wrecked by an unclear number of Marines (or Marine). Shawn worked hard to earn the Intercontinental Title and then he had to hand it over to someone he finds very overrated. Jim Ross brings up the Survivor Series Wild Card match but Shawn has to have more brain tests next week.

Lawler is near very real tears after the interview.

Overall Rating: D+. It was a two match show and neither of those matches were exactly good. That being said, you can indeed feel the difference between last week’s taped garbage and this week’s live show, which just wasn’t very good. There is a different energy there and it made a lot of difference. Now if they can actually have a good show next week, that might help the Survivor Series build, but we have a few weeks before we get there.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XI (2015 Redo): The Dark Days

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Man this show just isn’t fun.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/20/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xi-an-extremely-underrated-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania IX (2015 Redo): The Dark Days

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

In one of the major moments of the show, Jim Ross (JR) makes his WWF debut and talks about the main events before taking his place as lead commentator. I really could have gone through life without ever seeing him in a toga.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant while JR gives a history of elephants and Rome. This is kind of missing the point of a wrestling show but Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan to make things a bit better. To really cap it off, Heenan comes out riding a camel backwards.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

The champ grabs a headlock for a bit before going up top, only to dive into an armdrag. More weak armdrags send Shawn to the mat before he channels his inner Nature Boy with a Flair Flip in the corner. A Tatanka chop knocks him off the apron so Shawn has to go to the eyes (another Flair standard) to get a breather. Things speed up until Shawn charges into an atomic drop and gets caught in a DDT.

Shawn leaves and Luna slams Sherri on the floor.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiner Brothers

The Headshrinkers are Samu and Fatu (later known as Rikishi) and the Steiners are Rick and Scott, a pair of hard hitting amateur wrestling brothers. At the bell, JR debuts the term slobberknocker to make this one historic. Scott and Fatu get things going with Scott easily taking him down via a nice amateur double leg. Fatu tries to make it into a slugout but Scott just takes his head off with a clothesline. The Headshrinkers double team Scott down so he and Rick get up on the same buckle for stereo top rope clotheslines. That looked awesome.

Call the Hotline!

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush is a now big power guy from Hawaii in bright purple and orange. Doink has an umbrella with him but Crush knocks it out of his hands and rams the clown face first into the post. Some right hands to the face have no effect on Crush so he grabs a neckbreaker and keeps up the beating. Doink finally gets a break by guillotining him across the top rope. A piledriver gets no cover so Doink rams him into the post. Heenan: “Break the pineapple head!”

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Ramon debuted late last year but the crowd is rapidly turning him face. Backlund is an old veteran who is making a nostalgia run and having some good matches despite being in his early 40s and being out of the ring for years. Ever the good sport, Backlund offers a handshake but gets a toothpick to the chest for his efforts. A LOUD Razor chant starts us off as JR hypes up the Hotline. Backlund starts fast by sweeping the leg a few times so Razor punches him in the jaw.

Ad for King of the Ring.

Tag Team Titles: Mega Maniacs vs. Money Inc.

Money Inc is defending and Hogan comes in with a black eye, with explanations ranging from a jet-ski accident (official and most likely story), DiBiase hiring a bunch of people to attack him (storyline story) and Randy Savage punching him in the face over accusations that Hogan was sleeping with Elizabeth when she and Savage were still married (possibly true). Beefcake has a metal mask to protect his face and the team gets a decent but certainly not great reaction.

Hogan finally mixes up the offense with a big boot before going back to the right hands. A Piper style poke to the eye is enough to send Money Inc. walking but the referee says if they walk out, the titles change hands. As usual, Hogan has some corrupt official helping him out. Back in again and Heenan gets very close to accusing Savage of having something to do with the black eye.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger is still the Narcissist and comes out with some barely clothed women that have the announcers drooling. They trade wristlocks to start and Perfect shoves the much stronger Luger into the corner. A big running knee lift knocks Luger down and a dropkick sends him to the floor as this is almost all Perfect so far.

Gorilla previews the rest of the show.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Call the Hotline!

Oh and one more thing: Hogan wants the first shot either at Bret or at “the Jap” if he wins the title. As for a prediction, he thinks the title is staying in the USA in the match between a Canadian and a Polynesian wrestler billed from Japan. As usual, Hulk never was one for the most in depth thinking in the world.

Todd Pettengill (a very stupid interviewer) interviews some frat boys.

WWF World Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

The 505lb Yokozuna is challenging and has Mr. Fuji in his corner. The announcers have spent most of the show talking about how Bret is the huge underdog after being knocked out by Luger, sat on by Yokozuna and then just being in trouble against the monster in general. Bret charges across the ring for a running dropkick and some right hands, only to have Yokozuna shove him down and shoulder him out to the floor.

Back up and Bret gets his feet up in the corner, setting up something like a middle rope bulldog for two. That earns the champ a superkick and another nerve hold to continue boring the crowd. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants as Bret fights up and gets a better middle rope bulldog for another two.

A pair of clotheslines put Yokozuna down for half a second so Bret punches away in the corner. Yokozuna shoves him so hard that the turnbuckle pad is pulled off, only to have Bret ram the monster face first into it. The Sharpshooter actually goes on but Fuji throws salt in his eyes, giving Yokozuna the pin and the title at 8:56.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D+

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

How is this a Wrestlemania?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/16/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-9-wrestlemania-goes-outside/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ix-why-would-fuji-do-that/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1994 (Original): What About The Bulldog?

Survivor Series 1994
Date: November 23, 1994
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Gorilla Monsoon

Given that commentary team, I’m a bit worried. Your main match here is Taker vs. Yoko in a rematch of the Rumble’s casket match where something like 10 guys beat up Taker and caused him to be taken out of the company for about three or four months. Tonight the guest referee is Chuck Norris. Nope I’m not making that up and I guarantee there will be a ton of jokes about it.

Other than that we have Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund for the WWF Title which is an I Quit match where someone has to throw in the towel for you, which is how Backlund lost the title back in the early 80s. Other than that we have three Survivor Series matches which don’t look very appealing.

I think they finally got the balance right here with two singles matches that were huge and the rest were traditional matches. It looks ok on paper and since this is my second time reviewing it, I know it’s at least pretty good. Let’s see if it’s as good as it was four days ago.

We open with clips of all the teams getting pep talks from their leaders. Shawn is very cocky, which would come into play later on. Lawler is the only captain that doesn’t want a camera on these meetings. Since we’re in Texas, everyone is wearing a cowboy hat. Oh how I love these theme PPVs.

The announcers run down the card with Gorilla not being able to get a word in. Yep it’s going to be one of those kinds of nights. As Fink introduces the first team, he’s really hard to understand. If I didn’t know what to listen for I’d be completely lost here.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Teamsters: Shawn Michaels, Diesel, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett

Bad Guys: Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Fatu, Sionne

Sionne is the Barbarian replacing Samu. Your feuds line up like this: Razor vs. Diesel, since Razor took the IC belt from him about a month or so prior to this. That’s about it really. Oh Bulldog is there because of Owen and Neidhart. Other than that, yeah there’s no feuds or drama going on at all that I can remember. On the way to the ring, Shawn dives in front of Diesel to be in the spotlight. They’re tag champions at the time. Oh that’s right.

They took the belts from the Headshrinkers so that’s at least most of the team. Vince says that Survivor Series only comes once a year. Well yeah so does every other day of the year but we don’t have a freaking PPV for it. Although I have a feeling that if Vince could get away with it he’d try to. Gorilla trying to sound like a cowboy is rather amusing. Vince and Gorilla argue over who the captain is. Shawn is really turning into the heel that he would become famous as.

Gorilla is once again glad he retired. Did this guy hate his career or something? In a running story of this match, Fatu is having trouble with his new boots. He was barefoot for years and apparently wearing boots is a plot point to a match now. Yep that makes great sense. They mention that they can’t find Jarrett’s new CD anywhere as Gorilla continues his love affair with kayfabe.

You know, Barbarian really wasn’t that bad of a worker. He had more or less the same gimmick with a few minor tweaks for his entire career and he always managed to find work. Sure he’s generic but he stuck with his stuff and he got steady work out of it. That’s really all you can ask for isn’t it? We get Owen vs. Bulldog which is of course great. Owen is now the Rocket King. Yeah that’s not a weird name at all.

If there has ever been a match of two guys that could have been world champion but never could pull it off, this is it. Bulldog does that delayed suplex on Anvil which is rather impressive. The faces have momentum so naturally, they stop things dead for another foot issue with Fatu. Jarrett and Razor go at it for awhile, which was a very good feud actually.

Shawn’s hair is ridiculously short here. He almost looks like Rick Rude if that tells you anything. Jarrett really was good in the ring. For some reason people never took to him as a superstar. I think it was the singing thing. It’s sad to hear Gorilla not be able to get more than a few lines in at a time. Vince insists that he is the best commentator of all time and he’s going to make sure you know it too.

The heels do a lot of harmless standard stuff on the Kid that isn’t really interesting at all. Diesel finally comes in and within two and a half minutes he’s eliminated everyone but Razor. It’s three jackknives and a shot that leads to a count out. That makes it 5-1 with Razor being the only guy left. As you can tell Diesel is an absolute freak at this point in time. Shawn yells at Diesel to stay in the match.

Razor is beating Diesel who to be fair is worn out at this point since he can’t buy a tag. Diesel hits the jackknife and Razor is dead. Shawn gets in for the first time and he wants Razor held up for the kick. You know what’s coming here and yep, Shawn kicks Diesel. Now the cool part: Diesel doesn’t go down. He goes to one knee, but the kick doesn’t knock him completely down. Diesel is PISSED. He goes after Shawn who runs.

The rest of his team tries to calm him down with Owen and Jarrett screaming that they need to get back before they lose. Shawn gets counted out and apparently that’s enough to eliminate all five guys and yes, Razor wins like that. Ok, let’s see why this is stupid. Number one, only Shawn was legal. If he’s the only one legal, then another ten count should have started up. Now if no one else got in before that, then sure it’s a count out.

Also, if Jarrett and Hart were so worried, why didn’t one of them run back? That would at least have made sense. This was just an odd ending. No scratch that. It was a freaking stupid ending. What was the plan here? Was this supposed to be intelligent?

To be fair though, this really did look cool and was a good face turn as this was I think the third time that this had happened. The people were getting behind Diesel at the time and they pulled the trigger on him at the perfect time. Even the fans don’t sound thrilled about Razor, the biggest face in the match, winning like this though. That’s just never a good sign.

Rating: C-. It was ok at best before Diesel got in there but then he stole the show. This was a rollercoaster of a match with no eliminations for 13 minutes then four in less than three then five at once. That’s a bit too much over the top stuff for my taste. The in ring work was solid, but this was just for Shawn and Diesel and the face turn, so that’s all fine and good I guess. It wasn’t bad, but this could have been better. I’m just not sure how.

Todd is in the back with Pettingill as he’s leaving the arena. He says that he made Diesel and that he got stabbed in the back. He throws down the belt thereby vacating them and drives off as Vince tells Todd that Diesel is on the way. Ok wait. First of all, why is Vince telling Todd this? Couldn’t it just have gone to Todd?

I know Vince likes to be involved in everything but this is ridiculous. Second, Shawn had time to get his bag, stop to talk to Todd, walk with Todd, get in his car, talk to Todd more, and Diesel was just on his way? Did he stop to have a taco or something?

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Royal Family: Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy, Sleazy

Clowns R Us: Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

Yes this is a midget match. They have three guys that look like them and yeah, that’s about it. Lawler is borderline abusive to his guys though. Since this match completely sucks, here’s the short version: Doink and Lawler do maybe a single move and then the small guys run in for a comedy spot. It’s high class stuff like running over and making faces at the other team and then running back to their corner. Yep it’s one of those kinds of matches.

The commentators imply that the kings are kids, despite them having FACIAL HAIR. To prove the stupidity of this match, the announcers point out that when one of the big guys is pinned, the guy that pins him is in essence eliminated too since it can only be big vs. big and little vs. little. This comedy stuff goes on for about ten minutes. That’s just freaking stupid. The holds and moves they do are things like armbars and wristlocks too.

While they’re on the mat, the guys run back and forth and all six run over Lawler. I wish I had a gun so I could shoot either myself or the screen. And now the six all run over Doink. All this is done to make faces at each other. Yes I hate this match quite a bit. Why do we always have to have these comedy matches? There’s never a point to them and only Vince likes them. I hate this so much. Oh look, it’s a Burger King crown. This is just so funny. How did Lawler get here? He had a career.

Dink wants to fight Lawler, so he gets on Doink’s shoulders. Lawler counters by getting on one of the small king’s shoulders. I’ll give you two guesses as to how this goes. It’s been only the two big guys the whole match. We get a random Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ad as apparently the WWF has a part of a float. I don’t care either. As we get a test of strength, it’s a double criss cross by the midgets. Take me now.

One of them gives Lawler an object and he nails Doink. You would think that would be the pin but nope, it’s time for more comedy. I feel like I’m at a bad circus. Instead Doink goes on offense and it takes a reversed cross body to eliminate him. Over the next five minutes it’s the clowns getting beaten after cheating from Lawler. Of this whole thing, only Dink is actually entertaining.

His offense makes sense, he’s energetic, he plays to the crowd and he’s not boring. That’s such a nice change of pace. Of course Lawler’s team gets the clean sweep. Afterwards he takes credit for the whole thing and all six guys come after him which is just rather stupid. To end this awfulness, Doink comes back and pies Lawler. Yep, that’s how it ends.

Rating: G. That’s below an F. That sums it up I’d think. Dink gets a passing grade. He was actually really fun and entertaining. That might be because it was actual wrestling, but I could be wrong.

We hear about the Women’s Title change three days ago in Japan where Alundra Blayze lost to Bull Nakano. I haven’t seen it but from what I’ve heard it was a great one. Wouldn’t it be great to either see the match or a rematch or something instead of what we just sat through? Nope apparently that wasn’t good enough though, so instead we have Lawler getting pied by a clown. Nakano is here, so why can’t we have the match? I hate Vince at times.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

The deal here is that Backlund says that since he never gave up in 83, he never should have lost the title and therefore has had a 13 year title reign (he had the belt for two years when he lost it). He also says there’s no counter for the Cross Face Chicken Wing while Hart says that everything has a counter. Owen and Bulldog are the respective seconds and one of them have to throw in the towel to get the win.

Both have sworn they won’t do it. By those rules, regular submissions don’t count so you can give up all you want and it won’t count. That….is kind of stupid. They start out rather hot and fast which would be the peak of that aspect of the match. Bret uses a heabutt a lot. Has he ever gotten hurt using one of those? Not that I remember at least. We’re already on the mat as they actually compare the resumes of these two, and I think Backlund is slightly in the lead.

Six years as world champion is very hard to ignore. They mention a poll that was taken and 79% say that the Chicken Wing is the better hold? Gorilla, much like myself, refuses to believe that. They’re doing a very slow start here as Stu and Helen are watching from ringside. This is a bit odd as Bret will do…HOLY CRAP! Bret put on the abdominal stretch and Monsoon DIDN’T COMPLAIN!

That has never happened before and will likely never happen again. Dang I need a stiff drink after that. Orange juice will do fine. Anyway, as I was saying before I had my heart attack, Bret is doing a bunch of submission stuff and then Backlund will go for the chicken wing. That’s a bit of a cool idea I think with Bret being the master of all submissions and Bob being the guy with one big home run hitting move that he knows will win him the title if he can get it.

The impressive thing here though is that Bob is not only hanging with Bret here but at times flat out beating him. That’s saying a lot for someone that wasn’t a regular wrestler for years on end. Vince says that Bret doesn’t know how to submit. How amusing is it that he says this about Bret at the Survivor Series? Apparently Vince is right here though since Bret never did give up.

It never ceases to amaze me how much a few years can change things and how ironic so many of these lines would eventually become and now are in hindsight. Now for a nice change of pace, Backlund does a lot of mat work on Bret. He works over his arm, which makes sense for a change. Bret hits the post shoulder first in one of the most time honored bumps ever. That’s been used for years and it still works to this day.

Bret keeps trying to make his comebacks but Bob keeps taking him down, seemingly with ease. That’s the mark of a great wrestler: he can do his stuff and make it look easy. Now we get to what is likely the stupidest part of the match as Bret makes his traditional comeback and puts on his other submission hold: the figure four. Now this is fine, but Backlund gives up. However, the match doesn’t end because Owen refuses to throw in the towel.

So in other words, Bret has won the submission match, but he didn’t do it properly? Yeah that just sounds stupid. IN other words, you could just get some jerk to be the towel guy and then break your opponent’s leg or something, but since the towel isn’t thrown in it means nothing? Yeah that makes great sense.

I have to give the fans this: for a match that’s about 90% mat work, they’re staying interested. Hopefully this Sunday at Breaking Point (this is Thursday, three days before that), that’s what happens too. Backlund manages to reverse it for all of a minute. Bret gets ready for the Sharpshooter but Bob is back in it. Oh never mind no he’s not. Gorilla is finally able to talk a bit as Backlund actually wins a fist fight here. He’s quite underrated.

He follows it with a piledriver as I’m impressed by this guy. Bob works on the arm even more and the selling from Bret is great as he looks like he’s in agony. The fans are actually still in this too, which makes me feel better than they could actually get into very old school style like this. This is practically out of the 50s or 60s. Anyway, after another three minutes or so of getting beaten on, Bret makes probably his third comeback and gets the Sharpshooter, but Owen runs in for the save.

Now imagine Hart being in the same hold that long. The thing is, the fans are going to be rather bored when you think about it. Actually maybe not. Two things are going to happen here. First of all, people are going to start thinking that there’s no way that Bret is going to lose. Second, with every passing second that goes by, the people start thinking that any second now it’s going to happen, and that build up even more tension.

That is actually something close to brilliant when you think about it. After the first four minutes or so, Owen begins pleading with his family to save Bret and saying that he didn’t mean for this to happen. Ok wait a minute. If Owen is trying to get his parents to throw in the towel, doesn’t that mean that it doesn’t have to be the predetermined towel thrower?

Ok that’s all fine. However, if that’s the case, why can’t Owen just throw it in himself? Wouldn’t that make a lot more sense? Maybe because he’s the other thrower he can’t do that? That actually makes sense because if that was allowed then it would be like a Vince Russo match with one person having to throw in the other towel first to lose. But wait, if anyone can do it, why not just have a big gang come out and take the towel from Davey and throw it in?

See why I’m not a fan of this era’s booking? It has holes in it that you could drive a truck through. Anyway, Stu keeps saying no way while Helen is on the verge of screaming. Owen begs and begs, eventually getting down on his knees. As a credit to Bret, even though he’s been in this thing nearly ten minutes, the whole time he’s been trying to roll around and move a bit so that it’s not just him laying there.

That’s the mark of a great worker: the main story is on the floor because as evidenced earlier, the wrestlers can give up all they want but the towel has to be thrown in to end the match. Bret could literally lay there forever and it would have fit the rules of the match perfectly.

However, he realized that it was better to at least look like he was trying, which makes the match more believable, despite the focus not being on him at all. That’s a very nice little touch and another reason why Bret is better than you, along with getting to screw 20 year old Sunny. That makes him divine.

While this is all happening, including the pleading from Owen, Bulldog is still out like a light. He hasn’t moved in like 10 minutes and no one has come to help him. You can see him laying there out cold behind Stu while Owen is freaking out. Only in the WWF could an employee lay on the floor for that long and have no help given to him at all. Also, I think Stu has lost some age in the past year.

He looks MUCH better than he did the year before. Last year he looked like he was about 90. Now he could pass for 60 or so. That’s rather impressive. Dang he’s 79 years old at this point. I’m impressed indeed. Anyway, Helen can’t take anymore and snatches the towel away from Stu to throw it in and give Backlund the title as the fans are a combination of stunned and PISSED, but more of the former.

Bob freaking Backlund just won the world title. However, the more important thing is that as soon as they throw the towel in, Owen jumps to his feet cheering before sprinting to the back pumping his fist, revealing it was the greatest acting job since a diva had to act like Vince was hot. Bret deserves an award here for the selling. It’s amazingly great. We now get the awesomeness that is the celebration of Backlund’s victory.

He is euphoric over winning here, holding his hands up in the air and with the belt around his waist. It’s so simple but his facial expressions shove this to such a high level of awesomeness that it’s insane. Since it goes with it, I’ll include Owen’s interview as part of this. As we cut to the back, the look on the face of Owen is amazing as well.

See what happens when you give the best workers the best storylines? You get great material. Anyway, Owen admits that it was all a setup and that this is the greatest day of his life, since he’s going to get all of the titles and that he’ll never quit. His face here is mind blowingly awesome. That whole thing was epic.

Rating: A. The only thing keeping this from an A+ is some of the holes in the booking, but this was magnificent. However, I could very easily see how some people wouldn’t be into this. It’s very hit or miss and while I and most of the other old school fans would love this, a lot of people wouldn’t get why it’s great and for once, I’m perfectly fine with that. It’s not something that everyone can get into and that’s fine.

It’s a very different style than any of us are used to since it’s such an old school style. It’s the epitome of hit or miss with people likely either loving it completely or wanting a hatchet to cut out their eyes so they will be less bored. However, the stuff at the end is almost impossible to love. The emotions and acting here are top notch and the whole 45 minute plus (yes it’s that long) segment is just amazing to me, but like I said, if you disagree here, I understand for a change.

Now since I doubt most of you remember Backlund’s reign, I thought you might like to see how it ends. This is four days after Survivor Series in Madison Square Garden.

Backlund then crawled up the aisle to leave. He made Nash look like a god and it worked beautifully. However, later on he complained about how Nash took the celebration too far and didn’t show him enough respect. Dude, you’re 45 years old and more or less a novelty act who got beat in 8 seconds so that they could save Nash vs. Hart. Get over your hall of fame self.

Vince and Gorilla can’t believe it. Vince booked it, why couldn’t he believe it?

Guts N Glory vs. Million Dollar Team

Guts N Glory: Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb, Smoking Guns

Million Dollar Team: King Kong Bundy, Tatanka, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies

Bundy isn’t really the captain. He’s just listed first here. I don’t think there actually was one here. This was the tail end of the awesome Tatanka vs. Luger feud, which kick started at Summerslam. The idea was simple: Tatanka and just about everyone else on the planet thought Luger had sold out to DiBiase, but there was no concrete proof. Basically DiBiase kept helping Luger, but there was never anything for sure.

Tatanka kept saying Luger did it, but Luger denied it. This led to a match at Summerslam, where in reality Tatanka was the one that had sold out all along. It was a lot better than it sounds here and that’s your main basis for this match. It’s really more DiBiase vs. Luger, but Luger had to get his army of lower midcard faces to help him out so here we are. Have I ever mentioned that I absolutely hate Men on a Mission? I absolutely loathe them.

Mo isn’t here for this, but we still get Mabel and Oscar, making M.O. out of them, so in a weird way we have all three of them. Yeah that was stupid. Luger and Tatanka start here as Vince recaps everything I just said. I beat Vince to it. Take that you old man. While Luger is getting chopped, Mable raises the roof on the apron, showing the cutting edge intellectual capacity he brings to this team. They somehow botch a clothesline where Luger hits him in the back of the head.

Pritchard comes in but before Luger kills him we get Mabel vs. Bundy. Please take me now. Wait apparently no we don’t. Ok so wait, Mabel came in and challenged Bundy, then stepped out just to come back in. Yeah I hate this match already. The crowd chants Whoop there it is. Bundy is out in less than ten seconds and Pritchard comes back in. Since he’s tiny and Mable has his own gravitational pull, this is going to be quick.

He goes to the second rope and hits a freaking CROSS BODY BLOCK onto Pritchard to kill him completely. Vince botches the call by saying that the Gigolo calls himself Del Ray. Is anyone else getting a migraine? I know I am. Somehow for the third time in four minutes we have Bundy vs. Mable. Just make the porn version already and end this stupid thing. You know that Vince would do it too if he thought it would make money.

Yep I’ll have that image in my head for the rest of the show, and somehow it’s less stupid than this. Amazingly, this showdown is awful. Let’s go to Bigelow. He has that pesky thing called talent though so he just doesn’t fit in here at all. He goes for an enziguri which misses but Mabel tries a spin kick. I would say hits, but he literally misses by at least 10 inches. I mean this was awful. The fans loudly groaned at the sight of it.

I have to finish it. I have to finish it. I have to finish it. This HAS to improve. I don’t think it can actually get worse. They both go to the floor so they can lay there for awhile since it’s past their nap times. They have to stop for one an hour after they eat. They take a lot of naps.

Mabel gets counted out as Bigelow beats the count. Somehow that fat tub of goo would be the King of the Ring and top heel within 8 months. Vince must have been on the REALLY GOOD crack at this time. Or maybe he didn’t have any in him at all and that’s what caused all this. So now we have Del Ray vs. Billy Gunn. Somehow, this is better. Read who’s in there, and think about that for a minute.

Now we shift to Bomb vs. Bigelow and Adam hits that SWEET slingshot clothesline of his. Dang I love that move. He dominates just like he would do against Mabel at In Your House but after one shot from Bundy, Bigelow puts him down and moonsaults him out of it. I’ve always hated when a guy gets hit with one shot and since it’s from behind, it’s a knockout shot. What’s the deal with that? Del Ray hits two sweet superkicks that do nothing at all.

However, after a standard illegal elbow, he’s gone to Luger. Good to see that some things never chance. The Guns beat on Tatanka for the better part of ever and it’s just barely interesting. They were just such a worthless team. You can tell they’re real cowboys though. They’re wearing khakis. Yep the Beautiful People match is certainly more interesting, especially with those shots of Velvet’s figure. Dang.

Anyway, Bart goes for a crucifix and gets caught in the End of the Trail, which is apparently the name of Tatanka’s finishing move. Forget that it’s the Papoose To Go. We’re 4-2 now with the excellent team of Billy Gunn and Lex Luger against the four heels. Oh this isn’t going to be pleasant. I really can’t stand Vince saying YES NO! Is he really that impatience? A splash ends Billy, making it AMERICA vs. four. Oh boy I can barely contain my excitement.

As I look at my clock, we’ve been at this beatdown for six minutes now. Oh joy indeed. Why do I need to see Luger get beaten up that long? Wait, that might mean an injury which means him off TV. BLAST HIM WITH EVERY FREAKING THING YOU’VE GOT PEOPLE! Our ot nowhere Luger rolls him up for the pin and then literally lays there on the ground while Bundy gets ready for the splash.

It was without a doubt the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen in a match like this. That’s the end and the heels celebrate before beating on Luger forever. The faces finally run out for the save. I guess they wanted to see the annoying one get beaten on too. This segment just went on forever.

Rating: C-. I know I blasted this match a lot, but for some reason by the end it wasn’t horrible. I think it was the faces losing clean that fixed a lot of this. That’s what the match should have been: the heels getting a clean win which is something that hardly ever happens. It’s a match where the pieces don’t add up to what you get at the end, which is a good thing.

Backlund has a press conference to talk about how he’ll be a role model. Yep for all of three days.

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Before this, we have the debut of the deity himself, Chuck Norris. He’s the guest referee tonight, which shouldn’t be a problem for him. He can certainly count to ten. He counted to infinity twice, so ten is easy. He’s there to keep people from coming out to beat up Taker. That’s a good idea, since he’s so strong that he never does push-ups. He simply pushes the world down. After two of the slowest intros ever, it’s time to go.

Before the match even begins, we can already see the problem here: no one believes Yoko has a chance, and he doesn’t. Yoko can’t really do anything to Taker so Taker starts beating on him. The managers interfere to turn the momentum over. Yeah that doesn’t work. Momentum implies movement, and I don’t think they’ve actually moved in this match. They’re just so freaking slow. Now with Taker it makes sense, but with Yoko it’s just due to fatness.

He took some time off after this match and came back even bigger. That can’t be good. Anyway, Norris is mostly just window dressing for the majority of this match. He’s shown a few times standing there. Dang I ran out of jokes for a minute. I’ll make up for it later. Eventually Bigelow and Bundy come out and yell at him, leading to IRS running in and nailing Taker then putting him in a sleeper.

Taker would feud with DiBiase’s team until I think the following Summerslam, so yeah that went on way too long. The fat guys don’t do anything to Norris, and I can’t blame them. After all when the Boogeyman goes to bed at night he checks the closet for Chuck Norris. I’d be afraid too. So yeah, the rest is rather predictable, as has been the first part of the match. Yoko keeps trying but at the last second Taker rises up. The lack of drama is freaking killing this match.

It’s clear that no one believes Yoko has a chance. It’s fine to want to send the fans home happy, but at least try to build some drama. At least make Yoko look like he has a snowball’s chance out there. For no good reason, Jarrett comes out and Norris kicks him in the chest. Well that was rather pointless.

Yoko gets kicked into the casket to end it. I know that’s really lackluster, but seriously there was just nothing else to say about it. It was just as you would expect it to be: not that interesting, slow, and completely lacking in drama. This was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was bad. As I’ve said a million times, the best thing a match can do is have you guessing who is going to win. There was absolutely zero doubt here who the winner would be. It’s a great sign when you know who the winner is going in and they get you caught up in it anyway.

For a great example, see Taker vs. Shawn. We knew Taker would win, but it got us going anyway. As for this, Norris was the big celebrity of the show and he did what he was supposed to do: beat up a midcard guy. It was ok for a pointless main event, but this wasn’t interesting at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This is about as back and forth of a show as you’re ever going to find. The first match is ok, the second is beyond awful, the third is great, the fourth is ok, and the last is awful. Also, a LOT of people will disagree on the title match, and like I said before I’m fine with that. It’s a tricky one to call and it really depends on your taste as a fan. I loved it, and for me it almost carries this show. Overall, the show is certainly watchable, but it’s forgettable.

The title change that mattered was the following weekend so this one meant little. Other than that, it’s a very forgettable show. Taker won the feud as he always did, there was an awful match, Luger managed to blow another one, and there was an ok opener. Seriously, nothing here stands out. It’s ok if you’re really bored and just want to kill about 3 hours, but don’t go out of your way.

 

 

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