Hell In A Cell 2021: I Don’t Have A Witty Title

Hell In A Cell 2021
Date: June 20, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s time for another big theme show with the event focusing on the match we saw two days ago. This time we have a pair of matches inside the Cell, as Bianca Belair defends the Smackdown Women’s Title against Bayley and Drew McIntyre challenges Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Mandy Rose vs. Natalya

Dana Brooke and Tamina are here too. Natalya grabs a headlock takeover as commentary talks about Natalya complaining about Mandy’s looks. Mandy grabs a wristlock so Natalya spins out, only to get sunset flipped for two. They flip around each other a lot without making much contact until Natalya gets dropped throat first across the top rope. Some stomping in the corner keeps Natalya down, setting up the bodyscissors.

Natalya powers up to hit a slam but Mandy hammers her down with forearms to the back. An abdominal stretch goes on, with Mandy hooking the toe to make Gorilla Monsoon proud. Natalya reverses into one of her own (no toe hooking) as commentary goes back to Mandy being a fitness model.

That’s broken up so Mandy tries a bulldog, only to get dropped down instead. Natalya’s step over basement dropkick gets two but Mandy pops up for a middle rope version. A rollup gives Mandy two and Natalya blasts her with the discus lariat. Mandy is right back with a knee to the face for two and Mandy can’t believe the kickout. The grappling goes to Natalya, who pulls her into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 9:43.

Rating: C-. So to recap, Natalya complained about Mandy only being there for her looks and then beat her in a match. I’m not sure what kind of a future that offers for the women’s division but at least the match got a bit of time. Mandy did a little better than usual on the mat and you can tell that she has gained a lot with experience.

The opening video features a woman talking into a radio microphone on the radio station in h***. It’s ok to be scared when you’re standing at the gates, which moves us into the traditional look at the matches on the card.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Bianca Belair vs. Bayley. Belair won the title at Wrestlemania but Bayley has laughed at her ever since. That’s too far for Belair, who has dealt with disrespect since she was three feet tall. Therefore, Belair challenged her to a match but after Bayley kept laughing, Belair wanted to put it inside the Cell. For some reason this included every screen in the Thunderdome being changed to a shot of Bayley laughing or holding up the title. Twice.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Bayley

Belair is defending inside the Cell and slams Bayley down a few times to start. A clothesline puts Bayley on the floor and it’s time for an early breather. That lets Bayley snap Belair’s throat across the middle rope and it’s time for some chairs. Bayley’s big swing is countered into a rollup for two and Belair sends her hard into the corner to take over. A superplex is loaded up so Bayley tries to punch her down, only to have Belair backflip down onto her feet. Of course she can do that.

Belair is sent shoulder first into the post though and Bayley adds a boot for two. The bad arm is sent into the corner and something like a Downward Spiral on the arm keeps Belair down. Bayley brings the steps in but stops to tie Belair’s hair around the bottom rope. A running kick just winds up tripping Bayley onto the steps and Belair unties herself (McAfee: “I can’t untie my shoes sometimes!”) to send Bayley into the Cell.

Bayley bites her to escape and Belair seems to be in shock. A kendo stick shot (with two sticks taped together this time) rocks Belair again and a sunset bomb into the Cell makes it even worse. Bayley pulls out two more a pair of kendo sticks taped together to make them longer (as in four total between two sticks) but spends too much time telling Cole to shut up. The delay lets Belair spinebust her through the sticks for two back inside.

Belair grabs a chair but Bayley kicks it back into her face and then wraps the bad arm into said chair. Things get even more creative/painful as Bayley ties Belair’s hair to the chair. That takes too long though and Belair sends the steps into Bayley’s knees. Now it’s Belair tying her hair around Bayley’s wrist and beating her with the kendo sticks. Bayley tries to get out the door but can’t get around that pesky padlock.

And now, since we haven’t had enough stuff thrown in there, it’s time for a ladder. Belair is sent into said ladder and Bayley crushes her inside of it, setting up the Rose Plant. Bayley bangs up her knee in the process though and it’s a delayed cover for two. Back up and Belair hits a Glam Slam into the corner (with the shoulder giving out a bit so it doesn’t have full impact). Bayley is laid on the ladder for a backsplash and the KOD onto the open ladder retains the title at 19:45.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches where your standards may vary. As a Cell match, it wasn’t much as the Cell played a very small role in the whole thing. Granted that has been the case with the Cell for far too long now so it is kind of hard to make that much of a criticism. In other words, it was a weapons match which happened to be wrapped in a Cell, and it worked well in that regard. Good match, with Belair rising to the occasion and Bayley doing her thing as always.

Post Summerslam ads, Belair says that was tough but she will never forgive Bayley.

Bobby Lashley, with his female companions, is ready.

Alexa Bliss says that was a rough night for Bayley, but she is glad we’re here. Lily is still in time out (there is hope for this show) but tonight, Shayna Baszler needs to learn two lessons: expect the unexpected and be careful what you wish for, because you never know what might answer.

We recap Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins. Cesaro beat Rollins at Wrestlemania so Rollins came back to jump him soon thereafter. That put Cesaro on the shelf for a few weeks but he came back on Bayley’s talk show and jumped Rollins for a change. They had a sitdown interview where Cesaro shoved Rollins’ chair over while announcing the match.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins jumps him during the entrance again and the brawl is on before the bell. Cesaro goes with the power to start and drives Rollins into the corner for an early two. Some uppercuts in the corner rock Rollins again but he pulls Cesaro face first into the buckle. A rake to the eyes lets Rollins choke with a boot but Cesaro muscles him up for a suplex and a breather. Rollins backdrops him out to the floor though and the running knee off the apron drops Cesaro again.

Back in and Rollins stays on the eye but Cesaro slugs away with the uppercuts to put Rollins down. The black glove is taken off and Cesaro kicks it out of the for a moment that might not be as symbolic as WWE was hoping it to be. A powerslam gives Cesaro two but the Neutralizer is countered with a backdrop to the apron. Cesaro’s superplex attempt is broken up so he goes with a high crossbody for two instead. Rollins is back with a forearm to the back of the head for two of his own and the kickout has him frustrated.

After shouting that Cesaro has not earned anything, Rollins grabs an armbar before hitting the Falcon Arrow for two. The Stomp misses and Cesaro is back up with a discus lariat for a double knockdown. Cesaro plants him down to set up the Swing (not as long as usual), followed by the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Cesaro switches into a Crossface but Rollins rolls him up for two. The Sharpshooter goes on again but Cesaro lets it go to stomp on the arm a few times. Rollins counters another Sharpshooter attempt into a small package for the clean pin at 16:15.

Rating: B. I was worried about this one for Cesaro but I can understand why they went with Rollins here. Rollins is one of the handful of truly established stars that WWE has and it makes sense to have him get a win back here. I’m not sure what this means for Cesaro, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up for his future. The match itself was the usual good back and forth WWE style match, with the ending being a bit of a surprise. Was anyone expecting these two to not work well though?

Money in the Bank is coming on July 18. Time for people to have random matches against each other and call it building momentum, even though pins and submissions have nothing to do with winning a ladder match!

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Alexa Bliss. Baszler doesn’t like Lily because she’s a doll, but it turns out that Lily is evil and has used her fire powers to try and kill Baszler a few times. Now Lily is in time out so it’s time for a match. Yeah it hasn’t been any better off of paper either.

Shayna Baszler doesn’t like hearing about Lily and calls Alexa Bliss a lunatic. Bliss has fun playing with dolls, but Baszler has fun hurting people. Nia Jax and Reginald come in to offer support so Baszler slaps Reginald in the face.

Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler

Reginald and Nia Jax are here too. Bliss stands still at the bell so Reginald offers a distraction, allowing Baszler to hammer away in the corner. Baszler’s knee suddenly gives out so Bliss crawls over to her and starts kicking at the knee. Some kicks put Bliss in the corner for a running knee but she just laughs. Graves wants to know when you give up and call the Winchester brothers as Baszler suplexes her down. Some standing on the head sets up the big stomp on the arm to put Bliss in trouble.

That lasts all of a few seconds as Bliss starts laughing and glares at her as Baszler cranks on the arm. The evil face goes on and Baszler lets go, allowing Bliss to forearm her in the face. A Thesz press into some right hands set up a DDT to give Bliss two. With Baszler down, Bliss stares at Nia Jax, who goes into a trance and slaps Reginald down. They scream at each other so Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch, which Bliss escapes in a hurry. The wind up DDT sets up Twisted Bliss for the pin at 6:55 as Nia snaps out of it.

Rating: D+. You know, Bliss having mind control powers and putting Nia in a trance is a heck of a lot better than I would have expected here. Throw in Reginald getting hurt and the match was actually a refreshing change. Of course it wasn’t very good or anything, but that’s not why you watch a match like this one. The lack of Lily has made this a good bit more bearable, though I’m almost scared to see where they go next with the thing.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

Sami has laughed at and attacked Owens after Commander Azeez hurt Owens a few times. Owens unloads on him to start and hits the big chop in the corner. You can hear Owens coughing and he might be coughing up blood as he elbows Sami down. There’s the backsplash but Owens can’t breathe again. Sami uses the break to get in a few shots, only to have Owens chop the skin off of his chest. With the direct approach not working, Sami goes for the throat and puts on a quick chinlock to keep Owens down.

Owens drops him on the top rope and hits the Cannonball but the breathing catches up with him again. Zayn sends it outside and hits the big flip dive, leaving Owens holding his wrist. That’s not cool with Zayn, who kicks him outside where Owens can’t breathe again. Back in and Owens sweeps the legs to hammer away, followed by another trip to the floor. Owens hits a clothesline but the Swanton off the apron hits knees to put them both down again.

Back in and the Blue Thunder Bomb gives Zayn two but Owens gets in a few shots of his own. The Stunner is countered into a half and half suplex so Zayn can stomp away. Owens rolls outside and coughs a lot more but Owens manages a Stunner. Zayn barely beats the count so they slug it out from their knees with Owens getting the better of things. Now it’s Owens stomping away like Zayn did to him but the bad arm is snapped across the top rope. A running knee sends Owens’ throat into the rope and the Helluva Kick gives Zayn the pin at 12:38.

Rating: C+. This had a different story to it, though I’m curious to see more about Owens’ arm injury. If that was legit, points to Owens for grinding through a pretty good match. If it wasn’t, points to Owens for making me think it was. Zayn needed this win a lot more than Owens and when you consider the breathing deal, there was no real reason to have Zayn lose. Makes sense, and good stuff because they know each other so well.

Zayn is VERY pleased with his win and calls it karmic justice. He even yells at commentary about what happened.

We look at Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Rey Mysterio in the Cell on Smackdown. Jimmy Uso congratulated Reigns on his win.

We recap Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Ripley won the title at Wrestlemania and Charlotte wants it back. They have gone at it multiple times since then, with Ripley wanting to retain the title and avenge her loss at Wrestlemania last year.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

Ripley is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. With those out of the way, Charlotte kicks her in the face before the bell and gets a very quick two as a result. Ripley is back up with a big boot of her own but Charlotte takes her straight into the corner. The chinlock goes on for a bit but they head outside, with Charlotte kicking her into the barricade. Back in and Charlotte shouts a lot until Ripley rocks her with a headbutt. A superkick puts Charlotte down again but she ties the legs up in the ropes to slow Ripley right back down.

Ripley is fine enough to hit a running shot to put Charlotte down on the floor, setting up the Prism Trap back inside. That’s reversed with a roll into the buckle and Natural Selection, with a foot on the rope, gets two. Ripley grabs a quick suplex but the knee is too banged up, allowing Charlotte to hit a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral into the buckle. A moonsault (with Charlotte having to land on her feet and then hit a standing version) gets two but Ripley catches her on top.

That means a superplex can give Ripley two and they’re both down. The brawl is on with Ripley grabbing a quick Riptide for two and they head outside again. This time Charlotte dropkicks the steps next to Ripley’s knee (the camera angle really hurt that) and they head back inside for the Figure Four. Ripley manages to roll over and get to the floor for the break, complete with a lot of screaming. With nothing else working, Ripley tears off the top of the announcers’ table to hit Charlotte in the face for the DQ at 14:11.

Rating: C. So Charlotte mostly dominated the match and then wins by DQ in the end, setting up another title match down the line. There are a lot of criticisms of Charlotte being presented as far too strong and…..well this was kind of a good example. Ripley looked like she had to escape here and for the life of me I do not get why she is not being presented as an equal. She has all of the skills and talent you could want, but she has been treated as secondary to Charlotte every time they have been paired together. Charlotte is the most decorated woman in WWE history. Putting Ripley over once is not going to destroy her career.

Post match Ripley hits another Riptide and insists that she be named as the winner. Ripley leaves, with Charlotte saying “you’re learning b****.”

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title. McIntyre beat Kofi Kingston to become #1 contender for the third straight pay per view, so Lashley wants it to be his last shot. That’s fine with Drew, who wants it in the Cell, and then broke a table with a sword.

WWE Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending with MVP in his corner. They stare each other down for a bit before Lashley heads outside to grab some weapons. That’s fine with Drew, who sends him face first into the Cell to take over. Lashley is right back with a hard ram into the Cell so McIntyre suplexes him into the steel as well. A shot with the steps puts Lashley down again and McIntyre takes it back inside for the overhead belly to belly. McIntyre sets up a table against the Cell but MVP slips Lashley the cane.

That goes into McIntyre’s throat to cut him off but he counters a suplex into the post. An Air Raid Crash plants Lashley onto the steps so he goes to the throat to cut McIntyre off again. McIntyre bounces off of the Cell and comes right back with a clothesline to drop Lashley. They head inside with a rather stoic McIntyre hitting him in the back with a chair but a top rope chair shot is countered into a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

McIntyre’s spinebuster gets two and Lashley is dumped hard to the floor. McIntyre picks up the steps but Lashley drives him straight into the Cell and goes nuts as he pounds McIntyre down. With some help from MVP, Lashley pins McIntyre in the corner of the Cell with a kendo stick and unloads on him again. Back in and the Downward Spiral sends McIntyre face first into an open chair for a nasty landing.

Lashley unloads on him with kendo stick shots but McIntyre blocks a swing and hits a headbutt. McIntyre grabs the chair so Lashley pokes him in the eye. The referee gets bumped and Lashley is sent into the chair in the corner, meaning the Futureshock gets no count. McIntyre counters the Hurt Lock and hits the Claymore as the second referee comes in, only to be pulled out by MVP. That earns him a beating including a Claymore but Lashley is right back with the Hurt Lock on the floor.

That’s broken up with McIntyre driving him through the table in the corner and they’re both down again. Back in and McIntyre (whose back is all cut and banged up) unloads with some chair shots but the Claymore misses. Lashley sends him to the apron for a release Rock Bottom through a table. Back in and the spear is sent into the corner, allowing McIntyre to grab a backslide for two. The Futureshock connects but MVP grabs McIntyre’s leg, allowing Lashley to roll him up with trunks for the pin to retain at 25:49.

Rating: B+. This felt like a match with some weight behind it and the violence helped a lot as well. These are two big guys who can beat each other up with power moves and that is all you need a lot of the time. It also had the right ending, as there was no reason to take the title off of Lashley yet. Two guys hitting each other over and over again for a long time with a title on the line. That’s a pretty good formula for a main event and it worked rather well.

Lashley and MVP pose while McIntyre looks devastated to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. They kept this to the point and had three out of the six matches be rather good with only Bliss vs. Baszler not being so great. You might not be pleased with Charlotte vs. Ripley, but the rest of the show ranged from pretty good to very good. The main criticism here is that the show did not feel like it mattered in the slightest, with more than one feud feeling like it is just going to continue. Odds are that is the case with Money in the Bank and then Summerslam on the horizon, but at least they had a good show on the way there.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Bayley – KOD onto a ladder
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Small package
Alexa Bliss b. Shayna Baszler – Twisted Bliss
Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Helluva Kick
Charlotte b. Rhea Ripley via DQ when Charlotte used part of the announcers’ table
Bobby Lashley b. Drew McIntyre – Rollup with trunks

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Hell In A Cell 2021 Preview

The calendar has been changed around a bit this year so the October show is now in June and the show’s namesake match took place on the Smackdown before the show because….I’m assuming a ratings ploy. We still have two matches inside the Cell for Sunday though, because having three of them in about seventy two hours is perfectly acceptable. Let’s get to it.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

The eternal feud continues as these two somehow aren’t inside the Cell, despite it being something that would make sense. Owens has been banged up by Commander Azeez as of late and Zayn thinks it’s pretty funny so of course it’s time for these two to fight again. Granted I’m not sure if they needed that much thought put into it, as these two could probably have a fight over a stale sandwich.

For once I’ll take Zayn to win here, as he lost at Wrestlemania and Owens is coming in banged up after Friday. Owens would seem to be a likely challenger for the Intercontinental Title so Azeez and/or Apollo Crews interfering would make sense. Or they might both go into Money in the Bank (more likely probably) and that means this match has very little consequence whatsoever. But still, Zayn wins.

Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler

Do we have to? I mean do we really, really have to do this match? This is currently the dumbest thing going in wrestling and that is covering a lot of ground at the moment. The only thing that gives me a glimmer of hope is that Lily wasn’t around on Monday, but odds are they’re saving her for a special appearance here, because that’s how WWE thinks these days.

Of course Bliss wins here, because there is zero reason for Baszler to win despite the fact that she isn’t the one with an evil doll backing her up. I’m really hoping that they’re getting this out of their system before the crowds come back, because I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. At the same time, I’m not sure how much Baszler’s career can take, but that ship sailed a pretty long time ago.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

It’s another Wrestlemania rematch because this show is more or less Wrestlemania Part III. These two have been going at it for months but somehow the match wasn’t made until this week on Smackdown. I’m not sure if it makes that big of a difference as the match has all but been set up in advance since Wrestlemania. It’s also the match where I’m the least sure of a winner, so there are some options here.

As much as I want to go with Cesaro so the upper midcard can be a bit more solidified and Cesaro’s Wrestlemania win doesn’t look like a fluke, I would be surprised if Rollins lost here. WWE likes to go back to him pretty frequently (fair enough) and he hasn’t won anything important in a pretty long while. I’m not sure if Rolling needs the win more, but I think he needs it enough to go over here.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley(c) vs. Charlotte

Here we go again, as these two are another pairing that is getting joined at the hip. Thankfully they had a nice pull apart brawl on Raw to make up for the lacking….well everything else about the feud. Charlotte is back in the title picture because of course she is and Ripley is hanging on to any credibility that she has. There is a way to fix that, and hopefully it is what we get here.

I’ll go with hope and say that Ripley retains here, as she absolutely needs to win this one. Charlotte beating her at Wrestlemania last year was a club to the stomach of her career so hopefully she has recovered enough to win this time. There is really no reason for her not to, though that has never stopped WWE before. Ripley retains here, mainly because she needs to for the sake of her career.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair(c) vs. Bayley

This would be the annual “Really? This is in the Cell?” match inside the Cell as Belair goes from winning the title in April to defending it inside the Cell two months later. They have something kind of interesting with the last laugh deal but going from a regular match to Ding Dong Hello to this is a stretch. That being said, it would be weird if this show didn’t have a Cell match that was a stretch so it’s not even worth the complaint.

Belair retains here, as this seems much more designed to give her the big win on her way to a likely Summerslam rematch with Sasha Banks. The feud has been pretty good so far and Bayley vs. Banks in the Cell last year was great so there is potential for something awesome here. I’m hoping that they can live up to the hype, because there is a lot of pressure being put on someone as untested as Belair.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley(c) vs. Drew McIntyre

This is back in the Cell and it’s McIntyre’s LAST shot against Lashley, as this feud should finally draw to a close. It’s a good example of WWE’s inability to wrap something up, as this is the third pay per view in a row where McIntyre has challenged Lashley. I get why they stretched it out to here, but it’s a good example of having a match in the Cell because the calendar says so, as this should have wrapped up last month.

I’ll take Lashley to retain here and FINALLY put this one to bed, with McIntyre likely moving on to the Money in the Bank chase. He doesn’t need the briefcase, but hopefully Jinder Mahal doesn’t interfere in either match to start their rumored summer feud. Either way, McIntyre should go down on his (possibly literal) sword here with a heck of a fight, but Lashley retains here and move on to something new, thank goodness.

Overall Thoughts

This show couldn’t be more of a B show if it included Bruce Buffer introducing a match between the B Team and the Killer Bees. The wrestling will be fine enough, but it isn’t likely to be anything more than a show which takes place and then sends us into Money in the Bank/Summerslam season. There’s a good chance that this show is completely watchable and I’m not dreading it, but I wouldn’t expect anything major.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 16, 2007: The Early Big Match

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 16, 2007
Location: Alltel Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

We are almost to the Royal Rumble and that means it is time to make Test #1 contender. That is about as obvious of a title match as there has been in a bit around here. Last week Test cost Van Dam his title shot so tonight it’s a triple threat. Normally you would think that would be saved for the Rumble if they want the biggest match possible, but ECW can be weird that way. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the returning Kelly Kelly for a chat. She reminds us that she is an exhibitionist and now that she is single, Kelly’s Expose is back next week. We get a bit of a tease with Kelly saying she won’t be dancing alone, but here is Matt Striker to interrupt a preview. Striker says he has had students like her before, because she is willing to do anything for attention.

Her expose is not approved curriculum and if she does not learn better, she will be like everyone else. Also, did you know that women’s feet are smaller than men’s? It’s so they can stand closer to the kitchen counter. For now, she can go sit at ringside while Striker beats up her crush.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Kelly is rather pleased to see Punk, who drives Striker into the corner to start. A headlock works a bit better for Striker but it’s a hiptoss to break that up in a hurry. Punk kicks him in the back and then in the face for two, setting up the armbar to slow things back down. A hammerlock slam sets up another armbar as commentary starts talking about the Royal Rumble. Punk cranks on both arms at once but Striker fights up, only to get sent hard to the floor.

Back from a break with Striker holding a headscissors to choke Punk, who bounces his way to freedom. A basement dropkick gives Punk a breather but Striker takes him into the corner for the running kick to the face. Punk comes back up with his series of kicks, followed by the knees to the face. The running knee into the bulldog gets two on Striker but he’s back with a neckbreaker. Striker loads up something, but Kelly gets on the apron to flash him (which seems to disgust Striker), allowing Punk to grab a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D+. The ending was the point here, but the match wasn’t very good on the way there. Striker isn’t very good in the ring and should stick to the talking, as he is a great pest. Punk needing help to beat him is not exactly encouraging after his loss last week, but putting him with Kelly (maybe) is a bit more of a direction.

We look back at Test costing Rob Van Dam his title shot last week.

Marquis Cor Von vs. Cassidy Riley

Cor Von is better known as Monty Brown from TNA, meaning we get some TNA chants. Riley is taken into the corner for some early forearms to the face and Cor Von easily powers him to the apron. Some knees to the chest into a butterfly suplex set up the unnamed Pounce. A Fujiwara armbar makes Riley tap. Cor Von was a proto Big E., down to the look, the way he walked and the big goofy face that Big E. makes.

Post match Cor Von says he’s here to do whatever he wants because the hardest regardless is Marquis Cor Von, the Alpha Male. Oh yeah you can see the star power all over this guy.

Bobby Lashley doesn’t like the situation but he’s keeping the title. This was a rather rough promo as Lashley sounded lost, despite it only being about twenty seconds long.

Wrestlemania Recall: Roddy Piper and the fire extinguisher to Morton Downey Jr.

Sandman vs. Elijah Burke

Before the match, Burke promises to give Sandman a shot of reality. Sandman canes Sylvester Terkay down before the bell so Burke gets in a few shots. A faceplant drops Burke and Sandman crotches him on top. What looked like a super Russian legsweep is broken up and Burke grabs a rollup with jeans for the fast pin. That would be Terkay’s last appearance, as he would be released later in the week.

We look at Tommy Dreamer picking himself up after getting squashed by Great Khali last week.

Ariel has a red rose, which means love, devotion and passion. Kevin Thorn has a black rose, which means pain, suffering and destruction. At the Royal Rumble, there will be 29 black roses and one red rose, for the winner, Kevin Thorn. Neck biting ensues.

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Lashley is defending and anything goes. Test and Lashley start brawling on the floor before the bell before getting inside, where Van Dam kicks them both down for two. Rob takes Test outside again to drop him onto the barricade, setting up the spinning kick to the back. We settle down to Lashley vs. Van Dam and their timing seems to be off in a hurry. A rollup gives Van Dam two but Lashley gives him some shoulders in the corner.

After knocking Test off the apron, Lashley grabs a chinlock to keep Van Dam down. Van Dam fights up but gets pulled back down into another chinlock as we take a break. Back with Test hammering away on Lashley but Van Dam grabs a rollup out of the corner. Lashley makes a save after Test has already kicked out so Test drops both of them for two each. Test shoves Van Dam hard off the top for the crash into the barricade but walks into a suplex to give Lashley two.

Van Dam is back in to kick Lashley in the face and the springboard kick to the face puts him down for two more. With Van Dam being sent outside again, Test breaks up a superplex attempt and drops a top rope elbow for two on Lashley. Van Dam comes back in with a top rope kick to Test’s chest and a double Rolling Thunder hits both of them. One heck of a Five Star hits Test but Lashley spears Van Dam down. The running powerslam plants Van Dam to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They had some good spots here but it was rather sloppy in a few places. Lashley and Van Dam looked like they were on different pages for most of their time together and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt given what they have been setting up in recent weeks. Test vs. Lashley will work, though it still doesn’t seem like a big match.

Post match Test knocks Lashley out with the title and yells at him to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Cor Von was about the only thing that made an impact here and that didn’t leave much for the rest of the show. The two longer matches were both pretty lame and you need something more in the middle if your book ending matches aren’t very good. The lack of star power continues to show here and they need to do something about the lack of depth. Not one of their better shows and that is a bad sign for the future.

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 14, 2021: Oh They Needed This

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 14, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and there are only four matches set for the card. In theory we should be getting more matches announced this week, but WWE has a habit of leaving some of the build until the very end at times. On top of that, we have the continuing adventures of Lily the evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Alexa Bliss recapping the Lily/Shayna Baszler incident from last week. Bliss has put Lily in time out this week but she will see Shayna on Sunday. Nia Jax comes in and says they used to be friends but now Bliss needs to leave Shayna alone. Bliss laughs it off and Nia challenges her for tonight. The match is made as I try to figure out why Jax isn’t beating Bliss senseless when she is right in front of her.

We recap Nikki Cross’ technical wins over Rhea Ripley and Charlotte.

Charlotte is ready to get rid of Cross to move on to Rhea Ripley on Sunday.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

The bell rings and here is Rhea Ripley 14 seconds in to watch from the stage. Cross rolls her up for one but gets kneed out to the floor, where Charlotte kicks her into the barricade. Back from a break with Charlotte hitting a clothesline but shouting down to Ripley. Some chops put Cross in the corner but she fights back for a change. Charlotte knocks her outside in a heap and gets in a few more shots….but stops to yell at Ripley and gets counted out at 7:50.

Rating: D. So we have an extended squash until Charlotte slips on a banana peel to give Cross the fluke win. That would be another win which means absolutely nothing for her but maybe WWE can treat her like something anyway. This was better than the fifteen minutes we got last week, so call it a slight upgrade? Maybe?

Post match Charlotte jumps Cross but Ripley makes the save with Riptide.

Jeff Hardy tells Riddle to respect his elders in the tag division and listen to Randy Orton. Hardy has a match with John Morrison tonight and freaks Riddle out with the double eyes. Riddle goes on a long bit about what he would do with four arms but Hardy leaves. Orton comes in to offer some advice, so Riddle asks if Orton likes him. Orton: “No.”

John Morrison vs. Jeff Hardy

Miz joins commentary and Morrison gets in a Drip Stick shot to put Hardy in early trouble. A cartwheel clothesline drops Hardy again…and here is Cedric Alexander. Hardy grabs a rollup for two and gets a boot up in the corner. A splash gives Hardy two and they fight to the apron with Morrison dropping him throat first across the top rope. Starship Pain finishes Hardy at 2:50.

Post break Cedric goes on a rant about how Hardy beat him last week but acted like a sore winner. The only think he’ll apologize for is not putting Hardy in a retirement home. Hardy grabs the mic and says he’ll retire if Cedric can beat him right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric starts in on the knee, including a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes. The half crab doesn’t last long as Hardy sends him into the corner for a slingshot dropkick. Alexander is back with a Michinoku Driver for two but misses his own Swanton. The Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to finish Alexander at 2:49. What a random match and use of Alexander.

We recap the setup of Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley inside the Cell.

Naomi vs. Eva Marie

Graves is downright giddy for the return. Or not as Eva brings out the unnamed Piper Niven to wrestle in her place.

Naomi vs. Piper Niven

Due to “it’s NXT UK”, commentary has no idea who Niven is. Niven runs her over to start and hits a release World’s Strongest Slam. A backsplash into a Michinoku Driver gives Niven the squash win at 36 seconds.

Post match, Eva announcers herself as the winner. That’s rather curious.

Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose were having a photo shoot but got distracted by Natalya and Tamina training in a ring. They got in an argument about looks vs. skills and a brawl broke out. Referee break it up.

Drew McIntyre dubs Bobby Lashley as Trashley but for tonight, the focus is on AJ Styles. The Scottish are known for their strategies though and we hear about William Wallace. Now what does this have to do with facing Lashley? Drew: “Nothing. I just love that story!” He’ll win on Sunday.

New Day vs. RKBro

Riddle has to keep the scooter slow so Orton can keep up with him, while also singing Orton’s song. Riddle chokes Woods to start but gets dropped onto Kofi’s knee for an atomic drop. Woods works on the arm but it’s off to Orton for a fight over a top wristlock. It’s off to Kofi for a frog splash crossbody and New Day clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a running forearm but getting caught with a jumping knee.

Orton grabs the armbar and it’s back to Riddle to try for a cross armbreaker. With that not working, Orton comes back in to stomp away. We hit the chinlock again with Woods fighting up and bringing Kofi in to clean house. The jumping clothesline drops Orton to set up the Boom Drop but a quick tag brings in Riddle to kick away. A ripcord knee sets up the Floating Bro for two on Kofi and we take a break.

Back with Woods crotching Riddle on top and hitting a superplex. Kofi’s frog splash gets two but Orton dives in for the save. Riddle’s small package gets two on Kofi and he northern lights suplexes Woods for the same. An assisted powerbomb (ala two thirds of the Shield) gets two more on Woods but Kofi saves him from the hanging DDT.

Orton gets knocked into the corner and it’s back to Riddle, who can’t muscle Woods up for an apron German suplex. Instead Woods takes him into an electric chair for a top rope double stomp (making it a modified Doomsday Device) for a very near fall. Orton tags himself in but can’t hit the RKO on Woods. He can however counter the Honor Roll into the RKO for the pin on Woods at 21:43.

Rating: B. This would be your latest exhibit of proof that Raw does know how to do some good things. It was a long, well built match with some good drama all the way to the ending. This match has been built up for a few weeks now and then they paid it off with a good match. Watching things like this makes the horrible stuff that much more frustrating but I’ll take what I can get here.

We look at Charlotte screwing up against Nikki Cross earlier.

Rhea Ripley thinks Charlotte is obsessed with her. After Sunday, Charlotte is going to the back of the line. She has to face Asuka tonight though so the interview is over.

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title. Asuka grabs a headlock to start and sends Ripley into the corner, meaning it’s time to dance. Ripley gets two off a crucifix and hits Asuka in the face, only to get pulled into an Octopus. That’s broken up as well so Asuka strikes away again before avoiding a running dropkick in the corner. They fight outside with Asuka being dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Asuka hitting a middle rope missile dropkick and sending them into a strike off. A knee to the face gives Asuka two and the hip attack gets the same. Ripley grabs a northern lights suplex for the same but Asuka is back with a running kick to the face. A YES Kick is countered into some knees to Asuka’s chest and the Prism Trap goes on. That is reversed into a faceplant but the Asuka Lock is countered into the Riptide to finish Asuka at 10:47.

Rating: B-. These two beat each other up pretty well and it made for a rather solid match. I’m not wild on Asuka lose again, especially in a match that we have seen over and over, but at least it was a long enough, competitive one. Ripley needed some momentum on the way to the title match and this worked as well as anything else could.

Post match here is Charlotte to go after Ripley and the brawl is on until security breaks it up. They keep going after each other and Charlotte’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Good as usual, but both of these two need to move on.

MVP does not like Kevin Patrick trying to interview Bobby Lashley. The champ isn’t working tonight because he is the WWE Champion, but he does promise to publicly execute Drew on Sunday.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

This is Bliss’ first regular Raw match since February. Bliss kicks away to start and chokes away in the corner. After a creepy spider walk, Bliss avoids a running kick in the corner and hammers away. Jax runs her over for a change and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a running clothesline takes Bliss down but she sits up to avoid the legdrop. That means a glare into the camera and a kick to Jax’s head. Cue Reginald for a distraction but Bliss dropkicks Jax’s knees out instead. A short DDT sets up Twisted Bliss but Reginald comes in for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to make of this as Bliss has been successful, but there is a certain level of disbelief you have to reach to accept her cutting Jax down like this. The ending didn’t help as it involved Reginald, but Bliss being back in the ring is not the worst thing. Now her being a mini Undertaker/Fiend hybrid…..egads man.

Post match Bliss glares at Reginald and, with the force of a thousand camera cuts…..Bliss just walks away when Nia gets up.

MVP is talking to New Day and suggests that Kofi Kingston is losing because Xavier Woods is the weak link. New Day doesn’t want to hear it and Kofi gives a fired up speech about how his friends helped get him here. MVP wishes him luck on Sunday….but then remembers Kofi doesn’t have a match on the show. Woods: “Kick rocks dude.” Kofi seems ok.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Elias

Earlier today, Ryker said Elias was holding him back. I’m thinking it’s the fact that he’s Jaxson Ryker. Elias goes right at him to start but gets clotheslined down. The chops in the corner have Elias rocked and something like a spinebuster drops him again. They head outside with Elias getting posted….and taking the countout at 2:28.

Video on the Cell.

Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Bobby Lashley, MVP and the ladies sit on the couches on the stage while Omos is here with Styles. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start but AJ comes back chopping away. A big chop is blocked and a heck of a backdrop has AJ in more trouble. Futureshock connects but McIntyre stops to glare at Lashley, allowing Omos to pull AJ outside. Cue the Viking Raiders and we take a break.

Back with Styles being sent hard into the corner and getting caught with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Styles manages to send him outside in a heap and, back in, cuts off a charge with some raised boots. The chinlock slows McIntyre down a bit but he jawbreaks his way to freedom.

McIntyre fights up with some elbows to the face for two and a Michinoku Driver (third tonight) gets the same. McIntyre’s superplex is countered though and Styles fireman’s carries him onto the knee for two of his own. Back up and McIntyre drops him with a shot to the face but goes outside to jump Lashley. McIntyre heads inside but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 13:31.

Rating: C+. This was getting a little better by the time it was wrapping up, but I don’t think there was much of a surprise to be had once everyone came out to ringside. Not giving AJ vs. McIntyre a definitive ending is a good thing as this could have been a big time match later, so save something for the future.

Post match the big brawl is on, with Lashley being suplexed on the floor.

Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos vs. Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders

This starts as a handicap match as Lashley is in the back changing out of street clothes. Ivar takes AJ into the corner and it’s Erik coming in to crush him for two. Cue Lashley to run down the ramp and send McIntyre hard into the barricade. Lashley comes in to hammer on Erik but it’s right back to AJ…who brings Omos in to knee Erik in the corner. A Downward Spiral plants Erik and Lashley goes after McIntyre, but the distraction allows the tag back to Ivar.

The pace picks up as Ivar flips away from Lashley but charges into a spinebuster. It’s back to Omos so Ivar comes up swinging, only to get shouldered down. We take a break and come back with Lashley unloading on Ivar in the corner and grabbing a neck crank. Ivar fights up but gets taken down again, setting up a chinlock from AJ. That’s broken up and we get the double tag to set up Omos vs. McIntyre.

Omos chokes him down but McIntyre comes up with right hands. Styles tags himself in but gets caught in some overhead belly to belly suplexes. Everything breaks down and Erik dives at Omos on the floor….where he is tossed into the timekeeper’s area. AJ intentionally (Maybe?) avoids tagging Omos to tag in Lashley instead, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill main event six man here and that is not a bad thing. McIntyre pinning Lashley works to set up their title match, though I’m not sure I buy McIntyre’s chances at getting the title back. The Raiders vs. AJ/Omos hasn’t been officially set so far so it’s cool for their match to not get the most focus. Good enough main event here, though nothing you haven’t seen before.

McIntyre promises to see Lashley in h*** to end the show.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte via countout
John Morrison b. Jeff Hardy – Starship Pain
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Piper Niven b. Naomi – Michinoku Driver
RKBro b. New Day – RKO to Woods
Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide
Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax via DQ when Reginald interfered
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders b. AJ Styles/Omos/Bobby Lashley – Claymore to Lashley

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it is just how bad things have been in recent weeks or if they actually made some adjustments but this was a FAR better show than anything in recent memory. Nothing on here was completely horrible and even the worst stuff didn’t overstay its welcome. They build up some stuff for the pay per view and even added a new match while adding in some new stuff. The show is not great by any means but after weeks of some of the worst shows ever, this was an absolute breath of fresh air.

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Main Event – June 10, 2021: I Don’t Even Know Anymore

Main Event
Date: June 10, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

Things continue their up and down ways around here and I’m running out of ways to say I’m not sure what to expect. That is quite the change of pace after spending so many years talking about how I was out of ways to say that things were too repetitive around here. That means….I have no idea actually. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali takes him down by the arm to start and slaps on a headlock to annoy Garza even more. Back up and Garza knocks him into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Ali two though and we’re already in the chinlock. Garza fights back up with a kick to the face into a flapjack for two of his own. Ali tries to get up but dives into a right hand to the face for another near fall but it’s too early for a running knee in the corner. A hard posting knocks Garza silly and the Koji Clutch finishes him off at 4:52.

Rating: C. It was energetic while it lasted and it continues to be nice to see Ali getting somewhere. Ali needs to do something on a bigger show but for some reason he is stuck here. Ricochet getting some time on Raw is encouraging but I’m still not sold on that being the case again so soon. Garza is right there with him, making this all the more puzzling.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to get things going. Reigns talks about being direct in how he is feeling, because he wasn’t happy last week. He has had the counsel of a wise man and a week to chew on it though and now he has changed his mind on the Usos getting a Tag Team Title shot tonight.

Reigns may be the centerpiece but he is also a giver. Let’s get the Usos out here right now (Heyman: “USOS’ MUSIC RIGHT NOW!”) because we need to talk about this. Jey is cool with Reigns and Jimmy says it’s time to become the seven time champs. Reigns says bring him the titles when it’s over and drops the mic. The Usos seem cool with that.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoulders Dominik to start but it’s a dropkick into an armbar to put Jimmy down. Rey comes in and gets powerbombed onto Jimmy for two as Cole says the Usos have somehow never had a match against Rey Mysterio of any kind (I love little trivia like that). It’s off to Jey for a backbreaker, setting up an assisted hot shot for two. Jey gets in a cheap shot from the floor and drops Rey onto the apron to bang up his back.

Back in and Rey manages to send Jey over the ropes to the floor but a suicide dive is countered into a Samoan drop onto the announcers’ table (OW). We take a break and come back with Rey still in trouble, including Jey grabbing a reverse chinlock. Jey hands it off to Jimmy but Rey sends them into each other in the corner. The tag brings Dominik back in to dive onto both Usos at once. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Jey but Jimmy catches him with a kick to the ribs.

A run up the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two on Jimmy as everything breaks down. Rey hits a running seated senton to take Jey down on the floor but walks into a superkick from Jimmy. Back in and Jimmy hits Dominik with one as well but Dominik grabs a rollup to retain at 14:25, thought he replay shows that the shoulder was up at two (with commentary pointing it out several times).

Rating: C. The ending didn’t help things but the rest of this worked out well enough. What matters here is the finish though, as that is going to give Reigns a reason to yell at them. A pay per view rematch wouldn’t surprise me but I can’t imagine that this is done anytime soon. The Usos seem destined to get the titles eventually, and that is probably best for everyone.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring them to him.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging and Jimmy takes Dominik down for three straight near falls. It’s off to Jey, who hits a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to send Dominik outside. Jey’s dive takes Dominik out again and we take a break. Back with Jey hammering away on Dominik but getting rolled into the corner for his efforts. Rey, in a shirt for an odd look, comes in and hits the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Jimmy. A hurricanrana takes Jimmy down and there’s the sliding splash to crush him on the floor. Back in and the 619 connects and Dominik goes up….but Roman Reigns comes in for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. The ending surprised me but it is cool to see Reigns getting to wreck people. There is a good chance that they do this a third time at the pay per view, which would be a good enough way to have the Usos take the titles. Either way, Reigns continues to be excellent and that is all you need around here for the most part.

Post match Reigns cleans house and yells at Jimmy for embarrassing the family twice. Reigns destroys both Mysterios with stair shots before throwing Rey over the barricade. Dominik gets choked out and Jimmy says that’s enough. Roman finally lets go as Jimmy says it doesn’t need to be like this. Jimmy walks off and calls Jey to come with him. Hold on though as Reigns gets in Jey’s face, leaving Jey confused. Reigns isn’t done with Dominik though as he hammers away and nails a big powerbomb to end the show. Rey vs. Reigns could work for the pay per view title match.

Video on Drew McIntyre beating Kofi Kingston in a heck of a match to become the new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

From Raw.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Hell in a Cell rundown.

Jinder Mahal vs. Shelton Benjamin

Mahal has Veer and Shanky with him. Benjamin takes him into the corner for a clean break to start and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Shelton wrestles him down and then lifts him up by the waist a few times in a row. A clothesline puts Mahal on the floor, followed by the slingshot dive.

Benjamin gets sent hard into the steps though and we take a break. Back with Mahal working on a chinlock and sending Benjamin hard into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but this time Benjamin fights up with a suplex. Shanky offers a distraction though and it’s the Khallas to finish Benjamin at 10:30.

Rating: D+. And this is the Mahal that fans have been worried about seeing again. This was another boring match with Mahal’s big move being the Shanky distraction to set up the cobra clutch slam. I would really hope that he could figure out how to do something else during his long layoff, yet here we are for whatever reason. Lucky us indeed.

We look at Alexa Bliss and Lily tormenting Shayna Baszler.

The Eva-Lution is coming.

From Raw.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: C-. The fact that Roman Reigns was good enough to make me get around the idea of Shayna Baszler being tormented by an evil doll should tell you where he is at the moment. That is about as high of a level of praise as you are going to be able to get and it worked here. The rest of the show was the usual Main Event mixture of hit and miss, but that Shayna/Lily stuff needs to go far, far away. Ali can’t make Raw but that can, and that should tell you a lot about where the show is these days.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 9, 2007: They Need Help

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 9, 2007
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 2,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Brad Armstrong

The road to the Royal Rumble continues but Test has thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into the ECW World Title plans. Last week saw Bobby Lashley defending his title against Rob Van Dam until Test interfered. Odds are that sets up a rematch here and then Test’s title shot at the Rumble, which is not the worst schedule. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Test interfering in last week’s title match. The rematch is on for tonight.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly

Punk starts fast with an armdrag but it’s too early for the Anaconda Vice. A powerslam can’t get the hold on either so Punk kicks him in the back. There’s a running clothesline to put Holly on the floor but Holly steps aside from the big dive. Back in and Holly bends him around the ropes, setting up the middle rope legdrop for two. Punk fights up with a dropkick and some running clotheslines but Holly shows him how a dropkick works. Holly sends him into the corner and the Alabama Slam puts Punk away.

Rating: C. As jarring as it is to see Punk take a loss in a singles match to Hardcore Holly of all people, the match itself worked out well enough. Holly did cheat a bit by sending him into the post, though it wasn’t like Punk was in control after the first thirty seconds or so. Not a bad match, but I’m a bit puzzled as to why Punk needed to take a loss. He’s pretty clearly a big part of the future around here, and he loses to Holly?

Test is told his match is next, but he just isn’t feeling it tonight because he should be getting the title shot against Bobby Lashley. Seems a little testy tonight.

Here’s Elijah Burke to say he is here alone because it is time to knock someone out on his own. Cue Sandman, who spends a pretty long time drinking on the way to the ring. With his head already busted open, Sandman gets in and blocks the first punch with the stick. Burke hits a few shots but Sandman canes him out to the floor in a segment that was slightly more interesting than I expected.

Video on Great Khali, who is now on Raw. ECW did not need to lose him so quickly, as they do not have any roster depth at the moment.

Great Khali vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and Daivari is here with Khali. Dreamer tries to bring in the metal sign but gets stomped down in a hurry. A clothesline drops Dreamer and Khali pounds away in the corner. Dreamer goes to the eyes and hammers away with the sign, which Khali punches away. The double chokeslam gives Khali the fast pin.

Rob Van Dam has been accused of not caring about anything but he cares about the ECW World Title. Now he wants his title back and if he has to go through a great champion like Lashley to get it, that’s cool.

During the break, Tommy Dreamer pulled himself up to his feet. The guy never has been that bright.

Kevin Thorn vs. Shannon Moore

Ariel is here with Thorn. Moore charges at him to start and gets hammered down in a hurry. A big toss pulls Moore out of the corner and the Dark Kiss finishes for Thorn.

Kelly Kelly is back next week. She was gone long enough to warrant a return?

ECW World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam

Lashley is defending. Feeling out process to start, with Rob firing off the strikes and Lashley throwing him around. We take an early break and come back with Lashley’s spear hitting the corner, allowing Van Dam to hit a slingshot legdrop to the apron. The split legged moonsault gets two on Lashley and there’s the top rope kick to the face. A Figure Four headscissors keeps Lashley in trouble and his comeback is cut off with a kick to the head. Lashley hits a running clothesline in the corner though and we hit the torture rack.

Van Dam is right back up with a spinwheel kick so Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly. Lashley’s spear misses though and he goes flying to the floor but he’s fine enough to send Van Dam into the barricade. Back in and Lashley hits another running corner clothesline and some rolling suplexes put Van Dam down for two. Now the spear can connect but here’s Test to chair Lashley down.

Rating: C+. They were having a good match here and the ending was the right call. That’s the only way this match could have gone as Test is ready for the next title shot. I’m not sure what is next for Van Dam though, as there isn’t exactly anyone else for him to face around here at the moment.

Test chairs Van Dam as well and leaves for some sneering to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The huge gap between the talent levels around here is astounding and there is only so much that you can do with this roster. The main event stuff is working for now, but I have no idea how much of a shelf life they have. Other than that, this show is kind of a wreck with almost nothing interesting going on. Some of the stars they have could become something later, but right now, it isn’t much to see.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 7, 2021: The Horror

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 7, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Hell In A Cell and that means it is time to start finishing up the build. This includes a contract signing between Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre, which is a trope we haven’t seen in at least a few weeks. Other than that, Shayna Baszler continues her issues with an evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

A bunch of tag teams (and Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured) are in the ring for a #1 contenders battle royal. With that being so serious, cue AJ Styles and Omos to watch. AJ talks about how WWE is going to be back on the road next month and they are going to defend the titles against the best Raw has to offer. AJ: “And uh, WOW!”

We hear about how AJ and Omos could take care of all of the teams (or just Lince Dorado, as Gran Metalik is injured), save for RKBro. AJ talks about how great Orton is but Omos uses various adjectives to describe how great they are. New Day doesn’t think much of it and Riddle talks about wearing two snake shirts. One is designed by his Uncle Ron because he used to have a snake named Mr. Slithers…..so Orton tells him to zip it.

The invisible key is put in his boot so AJ asks if anyone else has anything to say. Cue Miz and John Morrison with the former in a wheelchair to say the tag division has gotten boring. Not to worry though, as Morrison is going to wrestle on his own. Morrison wheels Miz to the ring but stops to pose and lets Miz slide down the ramp in a funny bit.

Tag Team Battle Royal

RKBro, New Day, Viking Raiders, Mace/T-Bar, Lince Dorado, John Morrison

Both members have to be eliminated. Before the bell, Orton hits an RKO to both members of New Day and Dorado to send us to a break. We come back with….a look at Bobby Lashley and MVP with their women in the back and an ad for the contract signing. Back in the arena, we get the opening bell, meaning the three RKO’s had pretty much no impact. Dorado has to save himself to start and Morrison is sent over the top but hooks his feet in the ropes for the save.

Miz throws him the Drip Stick to spray Dorado and get rid of him in a hurry. Mace and T-Bar aren’t as vulnerable to the stick as they get rid of Morrison in a hurry. A double chokeslam plants New Day but Riddle saves Orton from being tossed. We get the Viking Raiders vs. Mace/T-Bar showdown but New Day jumps both of them and Mace/T-Bar are tossed. Back from a break with New Day, the Raiders and RKBro still in and Riddle kicking away at the Raiders.

The German suplex/springboard clothesline combination is enough to get rid of Riddle so New Day unloads on Ivar. Erik is back up to clothesline Woods out and the shotgun knees put Kingston into the corner. Ivar is driven into Kofi in the corner but Orton is back up to go after both Vikings. Erik tries to slam Ivar onto Orton but Kofi comes off the top with a double stomp to the back to break it up. Kofi loads up Trouble in Paradise…..and Riddle comes in to take the shot instead of Orton. The distraction lets Orton throw out Kofi and the Vikings toss Orton for the win at 10:31.

Rating: D+. The ending was a nice surprise but it’s a bad sign that your tag division is so thin that you can have two singles wrestlers and four teams with the champs (and their less than five matches together ever) involved in the same match. Miz was right when he said it was dry, but that has been the case for years now. They aren’t going to fix it, but at least the Raiders getting a shot is something new.

We look at Nikki Cross surviving two minutes last week, which somehow counts as a win.

Charlotte comes up to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville and asks for the loss to be removed from her record. That won’t happen, but Charlotte can have a rematch. Rhea Ripley comes up to say she wants one of her now it’s going to be a tag match with the two of them teaming up against Cross and a partner of her choosing. Charlotte says she can be professional about this and Rhea…stands there as we go to a break. This is one of the dumbest things going in WWE today and that is covering a lot of ground.

The Raiders are happy with their win and want to go get dinner. AJ Styles and Omos, carrying a turkey leg, come in to say the Raiders are wannabe Vikings. The champs mock the Raiders’ vikingness and Omos eats some turkey.

We recap Alexa Bliss going all evil and insane, allegedly thanks to the Fiend but really thanks to Lily. This has been another stupid Raw story.

Here is Elias to talk about how much Jaxson Ryker has hurt things. We see Elias turning on him last week because Ryker had the ghosts of war in his eyes. Elias hits his catchphrase but here is Ryker from behind (now with shorter hair and American flag trunks) to take him out. Referees break it up but worry not because we’re still getting that sweet Elias vs. Ryker action.

Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker

Ryker jumps him to start, with Smith saying that both of them are going to war. The beatdown is on with Elias being knocked outside. Back in and Elias gets in a few shots of his own but Ryker runs him over again. The spinebuster is enough to send Elias running off for the countout at 2:03. Ryker as a face with the military stuff is going to be really, really hard to take.

We look back at Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston from last week with McIntyre becoming #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Nikki Cross is excited about her success as of late and she has a partner for tonight. She even has a superhero cape and it’s…..Asuka. Sure why not.

Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo

The winner gets a future US Title shot against Sheamus, who is sitting at ringside with his broken nose. Before the match (of course), Sheamus complains about his injury and how this isn’t fair so Carrillo teases kicking him in the face. Ricochet knocks Carrillo outside and we go to a break before the bell. Joined in progress with Ricochet hammering away in the corner and Sheamus on commentary.

They forearm it out as Sheamus complains about his good looks being ruined. A powerbomb gives Carrillo two and they head to the apron, with Carrillo knocking him to the floor. Carrillo hits the big suicide dive but Ricochet is back with a kick to the face back inside. They head to the apron again for a chop off until Carrillo snaps off a Spanish Fly out to the floor for a double knockdown…and a double countout at 5:03.

Rating: C+. I was trying to praise this story as a way to get some people involved who have been siting around on Main Event for too long and then they do this. They’re going to do a triple threat at the pay per view and they have the pieces in place. So why do we need to have a second countout in less than an hour? Just make the match you know you’re going to make and stop dragging it out every chance you have. Why is that so complicated?

MVP comes up to New Day in the back and says Kofi Kingston impressed him last week. Two years ago, MVP was in tears when Kofi won the WWE Title and brings up the Deep South Wrestling days. MVP talks about how Kofimania ended with a whimper and this is still a business. Kofi doesn’t want to hear it because this isn’t about money. This is about inspiring people while Lashley fights for money. MVP: “Lashley fights for the WWE Championship.” MVP leaves and Kofi seems to be thinking about thinking about something.

The Eva-lution is here next week.

Mansoor is getting ready for his match with Drew Gulak when Mustafa Ali comes up. Ali laughs off the idea that Mansoor is ready, which he insists he is. Ali asks what Mansoor is going to do when Gulak pokes him in the eye or cheats. Uh, the same stuff he’s done in the 14 times he’s beaten Gulak on Main Event?

Jeff Hardy doesn’t like Cedric Alexander being disrespectful.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Hardy starts fast as commentary explains the difference between Hardy and Shelton Benjamin: Shelton will throw you through a wall to win a match but Hardy will throw himself through a wall to end a match. Have commentary say more things like that than the nonsense they usually say. Cedric hits a dropkick and sends Hardy into the corner, setting up a boot rub to the face.

Hardy manages to kick him out to the floor but Cedric is back in to cut off a dive. The chinlock goes on but Hardy fights up and manages a headscissors out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Cedric hits a quick suplex for two. Alexander goes up and mocks Hardy’s pose, allowing Hardy to catch him with the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes Cedric at 6:03.

Rating: C. These are two guys from North Carolina who had a match on Raw. I’m not sure what else there is to say here, though the old vs. new idea worked well enough. Cedric is another guy who could be a little something but here he is losing to Jeff Hardy in 2021. Maybe we get a rematch down the line to give us some 50/50 booking, but you never can tell with these people.

Hardy mocks Cedric post match.

Charlotte tells Rhea Ripley to follow her lead but Ripley sees it differently.

Nikki Cross/Asuka vs. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley

Charlotte lets Rhea start so she can take Cross down, followed by a quick tag to Asuka. A headbutt rocks Asuka but she is right back with the Black Widow, which is broken up just as fast. Charlotte comes in for a slam and cartwheels her way out of a wristlock. Rhea gets knocked outside though and Charlotte goes out to mock her. They get in a fight of their own and we take a break. Back with Ripley hitting Cross in the head as Charlotte continues to yell from the apron.

Charlotte comes in to kick away at Cross and we hit the chinlock. It’s back to Ripley to wave at Charlotte during a delayed vertical suplex for two. Cross misses an enziguri so Charlotte picks her up, with Cross’ feet knocking Ripley to the floor. Ripley comes back in but gets bulldogged down, allowing the hot tag to Asuka. A running knee gets two on Rhea and Cross’ middle rope crossbody gets the same, with Charlotte making the save. The Rhea vs. Charlotte fight is on (because EVERY MATCH LIKE THIS ENDS THE SAME WAY) and Charlotte hits Natural Selection on Rhea. Cross comes in to steal the pin at 14:22.

Rating: D. I lost track of the amount of heavy sighs during this match because it wasn’t about being entertaining. This was about spending as much time as they could setting up the most obvious ending in the world. Anyone who has ever watched wrestling knew how that was going to end and they took almost fifteen minutes to get there. Cross isn’t getting anything out of this, but at least Ripley got to take ANOTHER fall while Charlotte looks like the smartest person in the division.

Asuka and Cross dance on the announcers’ table to celebrate.

Alexa Bliss says Shayna Baszler is wrong about Lily. Tonight, the Playground is going to be a scream.

Mansoor vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak wastes no time in taking him down to start. That means something like a half crab but Mansoor fights up to grab a rollup. Gulak does the same and tries grabbing the tights, only to have Mansoor reverse into one of his own for the pin at 2:24.

Randy Orton hands Riddle the key to his mouth and it turns into a commercial for Burger King. Riddle goes too far with the ideas though and Orton locks his mouth again. Then Orton drops the key in the trash.

Riddle vs. Kofi Kingston

Xavier Woods is at ringside as Riddle throws Kingston around to start. The Broton gets two and it’s time for Woods to play the trombone. Riddle: “Not now Bro!” Kofi fires off the chops and here is Randy Orton, with Kofi dropkicking him through the ropes to save Woods. A dropkick sends Riddle outside and Woods starts playing the trombone again. Orton drops him onto the announcers’ table so Kofi dives onto Orton and Riddle as we take a break.

Back with Riddle hitting the running forearms in the corner and a PK drops Kingston again. Kingston is back up and tries the run the corner into a spinning hurricanrana but can’t quite finish it because that’s kind of a nutty move. The slingshot Vader Bomb gets two and the top rope splash to the standing Riddle’s back connects for the same.

Riddle sends him outside and then knocks him off the apron for a bonus. This time a fired up Riddle follows him out and unloads with strikes, followed by an Orton hanging DDT back inside. Orton: “FINISH HIM!” Riddle’s RKO is countered but he avoids Trouble in Paradise. Kofi is back up and Trouble in Paradise connects for the pin at 12:08.

Rating: B-. I heartily approve of Kofi getting ring time against talented opponents for good matches like the last two weeks. This was another pretty awesome match and that shouldn’t be a surprise. Orton and Riddle continue to be one of the few gems around here and I heartily endorse them facing New Day, probably at the pay per view.

We recap Reginald beating Shayna Baszler last week, with Baszler then jumping him at Alexa’s Playground and calling Lily a stupid doll.

Shayna Baszler runs into Nia Jax, who says she knows things have been messy as of late. They get in an argument over Reginald, with Baszler saying she isn’t worried about the stupid little blonde with a doll.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: D. I wasn’t sure what to do with this one because there is definitely good stuff on here. Some of the wrestling was good and the contract signing did exactly what it needed to do. Throw in the good main event and a few other pieces and this show would have been a pretty easy success.

Then you have everything involving a woman tonight. To be clear, this is absolutely not on the wrestlers themselves. The Raw women’s division has some amazing talent and if they are left alone, their matches are rather solid most of the time. The problem with this division is completely in how it is presented, because there has not been a serious thing in months.

Instead, we’re getting more of the Charlotte Show, as she gets to not only talk down to Ripley every chance she can, but also be presented as a far bigger deal in the division. Their feud isn’t interesting and it hasn’t been in a long time, mainly because WWE has given us nothing to care about. Tonight’s match was about as lazy of an idea as you could have and for some reason it was one of the longest things on the show. At least try to do something fresh for once?

And then there is the huge monster in the room, as the main event segment was about an evil doll and Shayna Baszler being in a horror movie (after losing to a wine expert acrobat last week). This is the kind of thing that gives WWE the reputation it has today and it’s the kind of thing that I would be embarrassed to be seen watching. I’m not sure if this is continuing when fans are back, but I kind of hope it does, just to hear how loud the bottoms of the seats clanging when people walk out can be.

Results
Viking Raiders won a tag team battle royal last eliminating Randy Orton
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Ricochet vs. Humberto Carrillo went to a double countout
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Nikki Cross/Asuka b. Charlotte/Rhea Ripley – Natural Selection to Ripley
Mansoor b. Drew Gulak – Rollup
Kofi Kingston b. Riddle – Trouble In Paradise

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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ECW On Sci Fi – January 2, 2007: The State Of Flux

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: January 2, 2007
Location: Lakeland Center, Lakeland, Florida
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for the new year and I’m curious to see how this one goes compared to the first. To say that ECW is in a weird place at the moment is an understatement, as the only people who really matter are facing each other tonight, as Rob Van Dam challenges Bobby Lashley for the ECW Title. Let’s get to it.

Here is two weeks ago if you need a recap.

The opening video sets up the title match by talking about how Van Dam wants the title back but has to go through the dominant force. Works well enough.

Opening sequence.

Test is in the ring to open things up and wastes no time in complaining about how he won the main event two weeks ago (which we see) but still didn’t win the vote for the title match. That doesn’t surprise him but he wants to know where the logic is in voting for a man who can’t even win a match. Title matches are made by winners and he wins a lot, like he is going to do right now.

Test vs. Sabu

Sabu hammers away to start and takes Test down for a running dropkick to the side of the head. That earns him a trio of backbreakers for two and the bearhug goes on. Sabu gets out and hits the springboard elbow to the face but Test slams him down again. The top rope jump of uncertain purpose hits raised boots and Sabu hits a springboard tornado DDT for two. Test has finally had it and kicks Sabu in the face, setting up the TKO for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t a squash but it did its job well enough. They aren’t really hiding the fact that Test is going to be the next challenger for whoever comes out of tonight’s title match, likely at the Royal Rumble. Test is going to be fine for a quick challenger and building him up by mostly mowing down Sabu is a good way to start.

Video on the Sandman.

Here are Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay for a chat. It isn’t about if they will win but rather if it is by knockout or tap out.

Full Blooded Italians vs. Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke

Burke hammers Guido down to start but he comes back up with some right hands. A crucifix gives Guido two so Burke punches him down again and hands it off to Terkay so the real destruction can begin. Burke comes back in for a running knee in the corner but misses an elbow. It’s off to Mamaluke for the first time so Burke clotheslines him down. Terkay adds an armbar for the easy win.

Rating: D+. Total squash here and that worked out well enough, though Burke and Terkay are not exactly the most thrilling guys to watch. Burke has the charisma but Terkay is someone who feels like a pretty standard monster. That might be part of why this was his last televised match with the company before being released later in the month.

Matt Striker gives us a math lesson to show why CM Punk can’t beat Hardcore Holly next week. Holly comes in to say Punk won’t beat him next week.

Tommy Dreamer joins us for an interview via satellite, but first we see his various destructions at the hands of Great Khali. Dreamer says he is going to keep going after Khali because that is the kind of man that he is.

Rob Van Dam thanks the fans for the title shot and is ready to get the title back.

Kevin Thorn vs. Balls Mahoney

Ariel is here with Thorn and Brad Armstrong is on commentary again. Thorn hammers Mahoney down as Armstrong talks about how many titles he was winning when these two were kids. Mahoney gets hit in the face in the middle of the ring and in the ropes as Armstrong mentions that the referee is his brother. Some shots to the face get Mahoney out of trouble for a good two seconds, but Thorn elbows him in the face for the pin. Ariel is VERY pleased by the blood that the elbow drew.

Bobby Lashley is ready for anything Rob Van Dam throws at him and promises to retain the title.

Video on Tribute to the Troops.

Vladimir Kozlov is here and says he loves ECW. He could beat both Rob Van Dam and Bobby Lashley too. Koslov: “I love Double Double E!”

ECW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley

Van Dam is challenging and his headlock is tossed off with something like a powerbomb without much effort. Lashley wins a slugout out of the corner and tosses Van Dam around again. The bearhug keeps Van Dam in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Van Dam gets tossed hard to the floor but comes back in with some kicks to the face. The springboard kick to the face gets two on Lashley and the split legged moonsault is good for the same.

Lashley is right back with an overhead belly to belly suplex for two of his own, followed by a torture rack dropped into a backbreaker for the same. The one armed delayed vertical suplex (because of course) connects but Van Dam kicks a spear away. A top rope kick to the face puts Lashley down but Rolling Thunder misses. They head outside with Lashley being dropped onto the announcers’ table but he stands up. Van Dam dives off the middle rope with a clothesline….and that’s enough to throw up the X as Van Dam seems to have injured his leg.

Rating: C. This was enough of a back and forth match with Lashley dominating but Rob getting in enough to keep things interesting. The ending felt storylineish enough to set up a rematch but what matters here is they have something for Lashley to do. Van Dam is pretty much the only real challenger that he has so putting them together right out of the blocks makes a bit of sense. You don’t want Lashley feeling flat, so go with the one thing you have and try to set something else up later.

Both guys get checked on with no one talking to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not much of a show here, but you can see where they are going with the title picture for the next few weeks. The rest of the show was designed to showcase some more people on the roster, but they aren’t exactly interesting in the first place. ECW is definitely in a state of flux at the moment, and that could make for some very weak times in the coming weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – May 31, 2021: Half And A Better Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Memorial Day, meaning we might be in for a huge show or it might be one that has absolutely nothing because no one is going to be watching. The main event is Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston to crown a new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley, though that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get the annual Memorial Day video.

Jimmy Smith is introduced as the newest member of the broadcast team and we run down the card.

It’s time for MizTV, featuring the return of the un-undead Miz. After the usual intro, Miz talks about how he was hurt in THAT match….but he isn’t sure why John Morrison has garlic around his neck. Morrison says he isn’t going to take any chances with Miz, so he also has his Drip Stick, which is a hand held liquid spraying cannon. Miz: “I love you.” Anyway, Miz knows that it is time to start giving back to superstars, like his first guest this week: Charlotte. After asking about the garlic, Charlotte says that Rhea Ripley has had her time and it’s time to get rid of her.

Cue Ripley, who tells Charlotte to go to h***. Morrison asks her favorite garlic bread recipe to ensure that she is not a vampire but Ripley gets to the point, promising to retain the title against Charlotte. Miz brings up Ripley not being able to beat Nikki Cross in two minutes last week.

Cue Nikki Cross, with Ripley saying she would have won if she had four minutes, but Charlotte says she could do it in one. Cross slaps her and the challenge is accepted. Ripley sounding like a kid with excuses for why she didn’t win and Morrison’s supernatural stuff got annoying in a hurry here and it was all to set up a one minute match after the break? No wonder this show has timing issues.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

Two minute time limit, despite Charlotte saying she could do it in one. Charlotte is sent outside to start and Nikki switches places with her to burn off some time. The chase is on, with Cross hiding behind Rhea Ripley on the floor. Back in and Charlotte hits a knee to the ribs with thirty seconds left. Cross hits a tornado DDT and time expires at 2:00.

Riddle and Damian Priest are ready to go back on the road so Riddle asks him for some Spanish lessons. Randy Orton pops up (Has he always had that mustache?) and, after complaining about the RKO last week (Riddle: “I just kind of hit it out of nowhere.”), says if they’re going to do this tag team, they might as well do it right. Riddle can come be at ringside for Orton vs. Xavier Woods. Riddle gets way too excited so Orton shushes him, prompting Riddle to lock his mouth shut and hand Orton the invisible key. Orton throws it away and leaves, meaning Riddle goes to look for the key. The invisible one.

Randy Orton vs. Xavier Woods

Riddle is here with Orton, who gets chopped into the corner to start. Orton drops him onto the turnbuckle though and they head outside, with Orton slamming Woods face first onto the announcers’ table. A belly to back drop onto the table makes it worse and Riddle is writing notes on his hand because he can’t talk.

We take a break and come back with Orton holding a chinlock but Woods fights up with an enziguri. A discus forearm gives Woods two and he hammers away in the corner. That’s countered into a powerbomb of all things for two but the hanging DDT is broken up. Instead, Woods hits a Codebreaker on the arm and grabs a Fujiwara armbar. Riddle is VERY relieved when Orton makes the rope and now the hanging DDT can connect. Woods grabs a backslide for two but Orton comes back with the Bro Derek for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. Orton was trying a few different things here and the ending was a cool thing to see. Riddle and Orton continue to be the most entertaining thing on this show, assuming you can ignore the invisible key level of stuff. Woods has been doing rather well on his own as of late, though I’m not sure where this is leading for him.

Post match Riddle poses in front of Orton, who can’t bring himself to do his own pose.

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald, the latter of whom keeps costing her matches. This is the dumbest thing going in wrestling today.

MVP brings a new group of women to have some fun with Bobby Lashley (in an orange suit).

Reginald tells Nia Jax he has this, despite her being worried.

Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald

Reginald has to flip away from Baszler to start and even manages a slam to put her down. That’s too far for Baszler, who starts in on the leg to put him in trouble. Baszler stomps on the leg and cranks on it a bit, setting up the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Reginald hits a spinning crossbody, setting up a one legged moonsault. Reginald has to land on his feet when Baszler moves, so the Kirifuda Clutch goes on. Then fire comes out of the corner and Reginald rolls her up for the pin at 4:16 (ignore Baszler’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: F. So that just happened. The two time and longest reigning NXT Women’s Champion just lost to Reginald, a comedy character who has a job because he used to be in a circus, because an evil doll made fire come out of the post. This is the latest example of me thinking that WWE is actively trying to troll its fans.

Reginald escapes to the back and gets hugged by Nia Jax.

Drew McIntyre isn’t happy with not beating Kofi Kingston last week. He needs to change his way of thinking, to the point where he has put having children on hold to become WWE Champion again. Maybe one day he can have a Little Drew to teach about Scottish folklore, but for now, he is ready. Tonight, he’s ready for Kofi, like he was ready to beat Brock Lesnar, unlike Kofi.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

During the entrances, Mace and T-Bar promise to make House Party extinct. T-Bar sends Lince Dorado into the corner to start but a quick choke lets Gran Metalik come in with a splash off of Dorado’s shoulders. Mace comes in for a spinwheel kick to the face and a kind of rough looking suplex drops Metalik again. Everything breaks down and Mace plants Dorado on the floor. T-Bar kicks Metalik out of the corner and a double chokeslam is good for the pin at 2:48. To say Mace and T-Bar did not look smooth here would be a huge understatement, as they seemed ready for a major injury on almost every move.

Alexa Bliss invites Reginald to her Playground.

Here is Sheamus for a chat. He talks about how many people have come up short against him, but that is as close to being champion as they are going to get. We see a clip from last week with Sheamus attacking Humberto Carrillo but Ricochet came in for the save. Sheamus calls that SCUMBAGGERY, which is why he hasn’t defended the title since Wrestlemania. He’ll fight both of them back to back though, and then they can go back to catering where they belong.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet starts fast by sending him outside but a dive is countered into a toss into the barricade. Back in and a top rope clothesline turns Ricochet inside out….and here is Humberto Carrillo for a distraction so Ricochet can get the rollup pin at 1:17.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title and joined in progress with Sheamus stomping away at Carrillo in the corner. Sheamus runs him over with an ax handle to the head and pulls Carrillo off the ropes for a crash back down. Carrillo fights back but walks into the Irish Curse to cut that right off. We hit the reverse chinlock to keep Carrillo in trouble but he’s back up with a few chops.

A shot to the nose busts Sheamus open a bit so he clotheslines Carrillo hard to the floor. Sheamus kicks Ricochet in the face for a bonus but the distraction lets Carrillo hit a suicide dive to send Sheamus into the announcers’ table. Back in and Carrillo’s high crossbody is countered into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Ricochet offers a distraction though and Carrillo gets a rollup for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C-. One of the first lines from commentary told you everything you need to know about this story: “The impossible has happened. Ricochet has pinned Sheamus.” These matches aren’t about elevating Carrillo and Ricochet, but rather making Sheamus look like he slipped on a banana peel (so we could have our third rollup via distraction of the night). I’m rather glad to see Ricochet and Carrillo getting a chance, but this isn’t doing them any long term good.

Eva Marie talks about taking time away from WWE to learn some more about herself. Now she is back because she knows what it takes to get here. She wants to help others now, and the Eva-Lution is coming.

Corey Graves is nearly moved to tears by Eva Marie. Graves: “No, you’re crying.”

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Naomi

Natalya and Tamina are on commentary. Lana takes Dana down to start so Naomi can come in for a legdrop. A bulldog drops Dana again but it’s off to Mandy, who gets caught in a fireman’s carry Stunner. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a slingshot corkscrew dive onto Dana. Lana rolls Mandy up for two but gets caught in the corner with a shoulder to the ribs. A fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination finishes Lana at 3:52.

Rating: F. This was bad and I’m not sure how else to describe it. They weren’t hitting their moves, they weren’t timing things well and the selling was awful. Featuring these same teams in matches every week or two isn’t making them better, but rather reminding us of just how bad they really are. Keep in mind that this is all in the name of giving Natalya and Tamina some competition, because the women’s tag team division just has to exist.

Bad Bunny was on a show with Lebron James and discussed his love of wrestling.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Shelton start fast but Cedric pokes him in the eye. The Neuralizer gives Cedric the pin at 28 seconds.

Elias tries to fire Jaxson Ryker up. Elias: “Have you ever been in battle?” Ryker: “Have you ever been in battle? Because I served in Iraq.” End of segment.

Kofi Kingston doesn’t appreciate Drew McIntyre suggesting that having a family could hold back your career. He respects everything Drew has done over his career but he can’t respect that kind of a cheap shot. Tonight, he’s going to beat Drew and then show him how to do what he hasn’t been able to do in three months (Kofi: “Though it feels like three years.”): beat Bobby Lashley.

Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Omos vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Ryker/Elias are challenging with Elias jumping AJ to start. A snap suplex sets up a knee drop to AJ’s head but Ryker tags himself in. AJ manages to send him outside and we take a break. Back with Ryker grabbing a chinlock but getting caught with a Pele for the breather. Ryker goes over for the tag…but Elias drops to the floor. Omos comes in and gets to clean house as Ryker is wrecked. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes for Styles at 9:52.

Rating: D+. And there goes another team, as it seems we might be getting a Ryker face push. Why that would be conceived as a good idea is beyond me, but does it matter at this point? Maybe this is just something for Memorial Day, but the idea of breaking up another team in the already barely alive division seems like a really bad choice.

Nia Jax tells Reginald to be careful with Alexa Bliss. She’ll have the champagne on ice though.

Post break Elias is running from Ryker, who he has has lost it. Ryker is a veteran and an incredible athlete but he is unpredictable. The idea of traveling the roads with him makes Elias sick and he’s done.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Reginald as the guest. Shayna Baszler pops up to beat Reginald down, but Alexa Bliss says Lily doesn’t like her. Baszler says this is becoming a problem and she needs to have a “chat” with Bliss. They can see each other next week. Baszler tells Lily that she is just a stupid doll.

The Viking Raiders give Mansoor some advice. Mustafa Ali comes up to say don’t trust anyone around here. Mansoor asks why he should trust Ali, who says Mansoor is getting it.

Bobby Lashley and MVP are having a good time with the women but get interrupted for some questions. MVP talks about how he doesn’t really care who wins tonight, because neither is taking the title. They can’t be at ringside anyway, so they’re going to have some fun.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner gets the title shot against Lashley (who, along with MVP, are barred from ringside) at HIAC. Kingston has a Green Ranger look here, because he can make something like that work. They start fast with Kofi grabbing some rollups for two each, earning himself a chop into the corner. Back up and Kofi manages to knock him outside, setting up a springboard trust fall as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hammering away in the corner but getting knocked down again. A suplex gives McIntyre two but Kofi grabs a guillotine, which is countered into a suplex which is countered into a small package to give Kingston two. Some running forearms in the corner rock McIntyre but he snaps off a belly to belly suplex.

There’s a second suplex but Kofi counters a right hand into the SOS for two. Drew heads outside so Kofi goes onto the top of the post for the trust fall. That’s pulled out of the air though (because you can do that) and Drew sends him over the barricade as we take a break. Back again with Drew getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and cranking on both arms at once. With that broken up, a frustrated Drew takes him to the top but gets reversed into a powerbomb.

Kofi’s middle rope dropkick connects but Drew gets creative with a swinging Futureshock for two. A spinebuster gives McIntyre two more and a superkick gives Kofi the same. Kofi goes up top but Drew hits the choke throw superplex. The Claymore is cut off by Trouble In Paradise for a very close two as Drew grabs the rope. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits the standing double stomp from the apron. Back in and Kingston goes up again but gets Claymored out of the air for the pin at 22:40.

Rating: B+. I really, really liked this one as you had McIntyre wanting to get back to the title match but Kofi was staying on him every step. You could feel Kofi’s efforts to get back to the main event because it has been a pretty long time. This worked very well as a result and they had a heck of a match with a clean finish to send McIntyre to the pay per view. That needs to be his last title shot, but at least he got there in a very good way.

We get a post match handshake and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If I could, I would split this into two different ratings, with the main event being its own section. That match felt like it was from a totally different company, as it was entertaining, well put together and didn’t have nonsense included. That’s what sets it apart from the rest of the show, which was mostly junk.

The biggest problem on Raw is everything but the wrestling. Between the bad creative, horrible storytelling, badly scripted promos and everything moving at such a slow pace, there is only so much anyone can get out of it. There are times where it feels like they are actively trying to make a bad show and that can get really old in a hurry. Some of the parts of this show felt like a joke that got way out of hand but WWE keeps running with it anyway. That has been the case for years now and it has taken a pretty serious toll.

But then there is the main event, which was about as good of a match as you’re going to get on Raw these days. It had none of the nonsense that dragged the rest of the show down and that was so nice to see. McIntyre and Kingston proved that the talent is there and if you cut off so much of the nonsense and bad ideas, Raw could be a totally watchable show. The rest of the night was mostly bad (though not entirely), but the main event bailed a lot of this show out. Again.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte when the time limit expired
Randy Orton b. Xavier Woods – Bro Derek
Reginald b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Mace/T-Bar b. Lucha House Party – Double chokeslam to Metalik
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Rollup
Humberto Carrillo b. Sheamus – Rollup
Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Naomi – Fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination to Lana
Cedric Alexander b. Shelton Benjamin – Neuralizer
AJ Styles/Omos b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Phenomenal Forearm to Ryker
Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Claymore

 

 

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AND

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ECW on Sci Fi – December 26, 2006 (Best Of 2006): They Screwed It Up

ECW on Sci Fi
Date: December 26, 2006
Hosts: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time to wrap up the year and since this is the day after Christmas, that means a Best Of show, which is about all you could do in this situation. ECW came back in June and things have been hit or miss since then, but there have been enough positives to make for a nice hour of stuff. Let’s get to it.

Note that I’ll be posting the full versions of matches instead of clips for the sake of sanity.

Joey and Tazz welcome us to the show and we see Tazz beating Jerry Lawler in short order at One Night Stand, thanks to Joey’s help.

From One Night Stand.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam

Cena is defending under Extreme Rules and OH MY GOODNESS THE HATRED IS STRONG. The fans boo Cena so far out of the building, with the famous IF CENA WINS WE RIOT banner making it all the more perfect (mainly because these people would in fact riot). Cena tries to throw the shirt to the crowd but they throw it back four times, making him seem a little shaken, which you don’t see too often (then again, you don’t see a crowd like this very often either).

This is a level of hatred you don’t see very often but thankfully Van Dam does the finger pointing to get the focus off of Cena a bit. The fans throw toilet paper at Cena as the bell rings and there’s the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Cena gets a quick two off a fisherman’s suplex but the chants continue. Van Dam is back with a spinning kick to the face and the fans give him a WHOLE F***ING SHOW chant.

Back in the BOO/YAY punches are on with Cena knocking Van Dam outside. Fans: “SAME OLD S***!” Cena follows with a top rope ax handle to the floor and the fans still aren’t impressed. Since he knows how to be a bit of a heel when he wants to be, Cena holds up the title but Van Dam kicks him away. A moonsault off the apron brings up the RVD chants again but another one off the barricade is shoved into the crowd.

Cena does the bravest thing in his career by following him out but Van Dam is right back with the spinning kick to the back over the barricade. Van Dam hits the slingshot legdrop on the apron and there’s the skateboard dropkick to drive a chair into Cena’s face. Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Cena gets two but Cena gets the chair up to block the split legged moonsault. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up again as Cena wedges a chair in the corner.

Van Dam goes head first into said chair for two and Cena rubs the salt in with the Shuffle. The FU takes too long though and Rob scores with a spinwheel kick. Rob drops him onto the apron and hits a dropkick to the floor for another knockdown. It’s table time but Cena pulls him down into the STFU. The rope is grabbed, sending Cena into a shoving match because rope breaks shouldn’t matter here.

Cena decks the referee and throws in some steps to get more violent. A shot to the head gets two from a Smackdown referee but here’s a guy in a motorcycle helmet to spear Cena through a table in the corner. Of course it’s Edge and Rob is back up with the Five Star, with Paul Heyman running in to count the pin to give Van Dam the title.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match that is carried even higher by the crowd reaction. The fans hated Cena and everything he represented, which made things that much better. They had a really good match on their own but the crowd reaction took it to another level. On top of that, it was a heck of a match because the two of them are able to bring it on the big stage under the bright lights. They had a lot of things going on here, and that’s how it should be in an ECW moment. Good stuff, and the only ending they could have had.

Rob is announced as the new ECW Champion and the huge celebration is on. The locker room comes out to celebrate with the champ as Heyman looks very pleased to end the show.

Video on Sabu.

We see Rob Van Dam losing both of his titles in back to back nights, with the rather dumb decisions that led to the losses being left out.

From July 4.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and it’s Extreme Rules, meaning we do get a weapons check before the bell (granted that might have been to fill time during the break). Rob slugs away to little avail as Show runs him over with a shoulder. A headbutt puts Van Dam on the floor and the fans let Show know he can’t wrestle. Show clotheslines him over the barricade and they walk in front of the fans in the front row. There is no random swearing or violence so you can tell that this isn’t a real ECW crowd. Rob manages to jump onto the barricade for a kick to the head and we take a break.

Back with Rob hitting a springboard kick to the face but Show catches him on top with a superplex. Show kicks him in the head to keep him down and then stands on Van Dam’s chest in the corner. The fans chant for marijuana as Show drops some elbows for two. A bearhug doesn’t last long so Show switches to a backbreaker and bends Van Dam’s back over his knee. Van Dam knees his way to freedom and kicks the knee out, followed by a basement crossbody.

Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Show catches him in the air though and tosses Van Dam outside. The steps are picked up but Van Dam gets in a drop toehold to send Show face first into them. Van Dam goes up top but Show pulls the dive out of the air in an impressive catch. Rob’s chair is swatted away and there’s a chokeslam for two.

Show knocks the referee away and grabs a powerbomb, only to have Van Dam chair him in the head. There’s the Van Daminator into the Five Star but there’s no referee. Cue Heyman to count two….and stop before three because we’ve got a screwjob. Show hits a nasty chair to the head and a chokeslam onto the chair gives Show the pin and the title with Heyman counting the pin.

Rating: C-. Ignoring all of the shenanigans and the necessity of the title change, the match was only ok at best, with Show doing his power stuff and Van Dam bouncing off of him over and over. Then you got to the ending, which was telegraphed but again, they didn’t have much of a choice. Van Dam had to drop the title to someone and other than Kurt Angle, who he beat last week, who else was there but Big Show? Sure it was about as close to the Survivor Series 2002 story with Van Dam in Brock Lesnar’s place, but they didn’t have much of an option otherwise.

Video on Test, who might squeak in as a Best Of in the last few weeks.

Tazz doesn’t like the Christmas tree on the set.

Van Dam came back and got some matches with Big Show, including a ladder match, but none of them were for the title. Paul Heyman brought in Hardcore Holly to fight Van Dam, setting up a rather memorable match….which we don’t see here. Ok then.

Video on Sandman.

We look back at Extreme Strip Poker.

Video on CM Punk.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Like we could go with anything else.

From December To Dismember.

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

After Lashley beat Big Show in a rematch to get rid of him, it was time for a new #1 contender.

From December 19.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Joined in progress with everyone down on the floor until Van Dam takes Test back inside for a superkick. The standing moonsault gets two but Van Dam gets shoved off the top and into the barricade for his traditional crash. Sabu is back up as well and gets crotched on top to put him in trouble again.

Van Dam comes back in for the Tower of Doom and a pair of near falls. A flip over Sabu sets up a clothesline to Test and some double teaming gets two each. There is Rolling Thunder for two more on Test and he is sent outside. That leaves Sabu to hit the springboard leg lariat for two but Van Dam crotches him on top. The Five Star hits Sabu but Test comes in and decks Van Dam to steal the pin.

Rating: C-. This might not have been the most interesting match and the ending is about as played out of a triple threat finish as you are going to get, but it was a smart decision. Test isn’t going to win the fan vote, but now he has a reason to get a title shot later on if that’s where you want to go. Given how few options ECW has for a major Lashley match, Test is as good as anyone else they could throw out there at the moment. Smart booking to a pretty weak match.

Post match we get the results of the fan voting:

Van Dam – 45%
Test – 18%
Sabu – 37%

Van Dam is pleased but gets big booted by Test. With Test gone, Van Dam gets up and bows to Sabu, as the big boot might have kept him down for five seconds.

Tazz and Joey wrap it up, with Tazz handing Joey his Christmas present. Joey: “It says Michael Cole and it’s ticking.” Tazz beats up the Christmas tree with a barbed wire baseball bat to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They managed to come pretty close to screwing up a Best Of show here, which really shouldn’t be possible. This was more a quick history of the main stories over the last seven months, with stuff that was actually good left out. ECW didn’t have a banner year in 2006 but they had enough good stuff to get through forty five minutes. That doesn’t bode well for their future, but it isn’t like they have far to fall anyway.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.