Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2015
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re back in the UK this week for the first of several taped shows. This tour usually results in some very high energy shows with the crowd eating up whatever TNA gives them. For once that seems more deserved as these recent shows have been a lot more entertaining and well put together than some of the last ones on Spike. Tonight is about the fallout from Lockdown so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley saying he wouldn’t team with Angle until he changed his mind a week later and helped his team win Lethal Lockdown.

The BDC arrived earlier, now in matching gear. MVP tells them to forget what happened last week because it’s time to show everyone what they do. Eric Young is here and I’m just going to start calling him a member of the team. The only reason he isn’t at this point is TNA said he wasn’t, but it’s close enough so yeah he’s a member of the team.

Here’s Angle to open the show. He’s usually been on his own, but he has to thank Gunner and Aries for helping him last week. The BDC wants to say they control the World Title, but the best wrestler in the world controls that title. Angle invites Lashley out here right now and they shake hands. Lashley says he was there to get his hands on MVP, not to help Angle. That’s fine with Angle, because he wants to be World Champion again. It actually has been a very long time.

Before the champ can say anything, here’s the BDC to interrupt. MVP says last week’s pin in Lethal Lockdown is stripped from the record books for some reason so now and it’s time for one of those two to get a beat down. Lashley cuts MVP off and issues a challenge to either two of them for a tag match against himself and Angle. This was a totally acceptable opening segment, but more importantly it was done in about ten minutes. Take notes WWE.

Austin Aries stops Bobby Roode in the back and goes over their history together. Roode of course respects Aries and agrees to give the fans something special. Unlike the opening segment, I have no idea why this was necessary.

We look back at Jeremy Borash preventing EC3 from cutting Spud’s hair last week.

Carter says he’s wealthy so he gets whatever he wants, and that would be to shave Spud’s head. Tonight it’s Carter/Tyrus vs. Mandrews/Spud/Borash.

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode

So they’re actually trying to make this Top 5 concept mean something. Next week there will be a 20 man gauntlet. The first fifteen entrants will be at random but the last five will be determined by the top five. Aries comes into this match at #3 and Roode is #1, basically making this match for the last spot in the gauntlet. The prize is of course a World Title shot the following week.

They trade arm holds to start with Aries going to a headstand but getting caught in an early Crossface. That goes nowhere but neither does Aries’ early Last Chancery. Both of their other finishers miss as well and Aries is sent to the apron but he shoulders Roode in the ribs and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Fast start here. Aries follows him to the floor with a huge top rope ax handle but gets dropped with a gordbuster back inside.

The spinebuster sets up the Blockbuster for two but Aries fights out of the Roode Bomb. Maybe Bobby should have stuck to busting. Austin knocks him off the top rope and hits the missile dropkick, followed by a discus forearm to send him outside. The suicide dive hits the barricade though and Roode takes over. Back in and Aries gets caught in the Crossface for the tap out at 8:21.

Rating: B-. The match was entertaining but the ending was kind of surprising. It does fit the idea of Aries hitting the barricade, but it’s rare to see someone with a top ranking cleanly defending it like this. By saying “this is for the #1 spot in something”, you’re almost guaranteeing that it’s going to change. The surprise isn’t a bad thing though and it worked quite well.

Roode says this is pro wrestling. I’d call that a pretty big stretch. Aries leaves and Roode says it’s time to get his title back. Roode vs. Lashley III never happened and he deserves a rematch. Cue Eric Young to jump Roode from behind and plant him with a piledriver. Of course he does, because where would we be without Eric freaking Young to take the focus off a good match and a logical story progression to keep up a feud where Roode won the big gimmick match? Oh that would be because we can have a TRILOGY, and that’s the magic word in wrestling for some reason, even when there was no desire to see a second match.

After a break, Roode is being helped out and Young piledrives him on the stage. In case you didn’t know, Eric Young is CRAZY.

Here’s Al Snow, looking ancient. He’s been having issues with one of the students on British Boot Camp, which I’d assume has been seen by about 18 American fans. The fans in the arena certainly seem to know it though as they start chanting for Grado, one of the contestants on the most recent season. In Grado, Snow found someone else who thought he could do what Snow does but Grado was just another failure.

Snow gives Grado one more chance to come out here and quit before he has to give the student a beating next week. Grado comes out and looks like a cleaned up Louis Spicolli. Snow rips into him for a lack of respect and heart. He’s the heel here if that wasn’t clear. Grado takes the mic away and says Snow doesn’t realize where he is. They’re in Glasgow and the people here won’t take this from Snow. Grado’s mom is in the front row so Snow yells at her, causing Grado to nail him in the face. The fight is made for next week.

After the segment is over, I still have the same two questions I had before it started: who is Grado and why am I supposed to care about this feud? We first heard about Grado maybe two minutes before he appeared and were given a very basic backstory about him. I get that the fans live are going to like him, but if you don’t or can’t watch British Boot Camp, there’s a good chance you don’t know who this guy is. Show us some stuff from the show and give us a reason to care, because otherwise it’s the same as bringing in the ECW guys for shows in the northeast. If you didn’t care for ECW, you don’t care about that.

I don’t care about British Boot Camp, but it’s more because I haven’t been exposed to it. I’m not a fan of just expecting the fans to know what you’re talking about, especially when you can clear it up with a quick package or by giving us some information more than two minutes before the whole thing starts. It’s going to get some loud pops in the arena, but there are a lot more fans on the other side of the camera. I will give them this though: Snow did a great job at riling up a crowd like an old school talker can.

Craazy Steve vs. Bram

Bram pulls him out of the corner to start, sending Steve’s head into the buckle. He grabs the mic and says he wants Magnus, stomping at Steve’s head more every time. Steve’s comeback lasts as long as you would expect and an impaler DDT gives Bram the pin at 2:20.

JB says he can’t wrestle but Spud says they’re men and they’re going to be fine.

Gunner asks Angle if he’s sure about teaming with Lashley. Kurt knows he and Lashley are fighting one day and he wants the champ at his best.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash

Carter, sporting a huge brace on his arm due to a recent surgery, is thinking this week and has cordless clippers to shave some hair. Spud gets right in Carter’s face but Tyrus comes in instead. That goes badly for Spud and Mandrews is thrown down as well so it’s time for JB vs. Carter. Ethan easily pounds Jeremy into the corner and it’s off to Mandrews to take the real beating. Tyrus plants him with the t-bone and now Carter comes in to pick the bones.

The announcers get off topic to talk about the main event tag as carter sends Mandrews face first into the mat. Mandrews fights out of a chinlock and hits an enziguri, allowing for the tag to Spud. Tyrus breaks up the Spud offense with a claw hold but accidentally splashes his boss. A Dudley Dog sends Tyrus to the floor and……Borash goes up top for a dive onto Tyrus! Borash looks dead after landing but still it looked good at the time. Back in and the 1%er is enough to pin Spud at 6:06.

Rating: C. Spud is rapidly growing on me as he keeps getting better and better in the ring and is nailing the Spike Dudley mold of fighting beyond his size. The dive from Borash was more cool than anything else and gave me a little smile. This story continues to live WAY beyond its means and is far more entertaining than it has any right to be. I know Spud is going to lose in the end, but man alive they’re making it fun along the way.

Carter and Tyrus go for the hair but the lights go out and Mr. Anderson appears to take out the heels.

Gunner says he’s ready for the gauntlet but gets beaten down by the BDC.

Here’s Madison to talk about something. Before she can really get going, she keeps getting interrupted by what sounds like a microphone being dropped and stepped on. She says she’s one title reign away from the all time record and no one can beat her. I think you know what’s coming.

Awesome Kong vs. Madison Rayne

Kong splashes her in the corner but misses one in the middle of the ring. That’s the extent of Madison’s luck as the Implant Buster ends her at 1:24.

Aries is in Angle’s locker room and says he tapped out because he has his eyes on the World Title. Angle doesn’t seem to care and again this seemed a bit worthless.

We look back at Jeff Hardy’s injury last week to keep him off the UK tour.

Cue Matt Hardy to give us an update on his brother’s condition. Jeff has taken a lot of risks over the years and given us memories that will last forever. Every time he’s been hurt before, Jeff has always been able to give Matt a little sign that he’s ok and will be back. Last week though, there was nothing from Jeff. This brings out the Revolution so Storm can say that Matt is right.

Storm did what Edge and Christian and Team 3D couldn’t do. Sting, Kurt Angle, Roode, Aries, Lashley or even the Undertaker couldn’t do what he did. He put Jeff Hardy down because heroes only exist because of villains. Matt has two options: join the Revolution or join his brother in the hospital. Matt says Jeff’s hospital bed is pretty nice and the beating is on. Manik puts him in a cross armbreaker and they go for the noose but the Wolves run out for the save.

Aries won’t say when he’s cashing in and gets attacked by the BDC. They even throw him out the door but are nice enough to throw him his briefcase. We actually get a replay of it not thirty seconds later. Apparently throwing him the briefcase is a way for the BDC to attack Lashley as much as they want without worrying about Aries. If they’re beating him down, wouldn’t they be able to see Aries coming? Or they could just, keep the briefcase if its presence is required.

Kurt Angle/Bobby Lashley vs. MVP/Samoa Joe

Ki and King are of course at ringside. Angle and Joe get things going after a break and they trade arm control to start. It’s quickly off to Lashley for a running shoulder to Joe’s ample gut and a hard clothesline. MVP bails from contact and Joe gets in some cheap shots to take over. It’s off to MVP for a running basement dropkick and that’s about it for the leader. Joe runs him over again and King gets in some choking from the floor. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Lashley throws Joe down, allowing for the tag off to Angle. It’s Germans time but the Angle Slam only gets two on Joe.

Everything breaks down and MVP sends Kurt shoulder first into the post for two. We settle down to MVP working over Angle before it’s back to Joe for a weak crossface chicken wing. Angle fights out and makes hot tag the sequel to Lashley. The big delayed vertical suplex drops MVP and a spinebuster gets two. Everything breaks down again and Lashley loads up the spear to Joe but Angle grabs the ankle lock. The distraction lets MVP roll up Lashley with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:08.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag here and it’s clear that MVP is the next major challenger to the title before we get to Angle vs. Lashley in their big showdown. This feels a lot like Reigns vs. Bryan and it’s being done a bit better. It’s a nice three way feud, but MVP really doesn’t need a stable behind him to do this. Just have them all be guys instead of MVP running a group and let them have a feud. Still though, good enough.

Overall Rating: B. TNA is rolling right now and this was another good wrestling show. They’re setting up stories and seem to be paying them off. No it’s not perfect and there are some tweaks that need to be made, but I’m very pleased with what I’m getting at the moment. If nothing else, they’re not cramming 19 segments on one story into a show and are spreading things around a good bit. That being said, I’ve thought this before and TNA has managed to screw it up like no other. Hopefully it lasts a good while though as this has been very entertaining lately.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Austin Aries – Crossface

Bram b. Craazy Steve – Impaler DDT

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash – 1%er to Spud

Awesome Kong b. Madison Rayne – Implant Buster

MVP/Samoa Joe b. Lashley/Kurt Angle – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antoino, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re back in Texas here and the main question is which Texas guy is winning the Rumble. The main change from last year is that ECW is around now and get to have seven guys in the Rumble because their roster isn’t deep enough to support ten. Other than that we’ve got Cena vs. Umaga in a last man standing match and Batista vs. Kennedy because Kennedy gets a lot of title shots. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th Rumble so you know the theme of the opening video already. The other matches get a little hype as well but the Rumble dominates, as it should.

MNM vs. Hardys

Mercury had his face shattered at Armageddon in a ladder match and tonight is about revenge. Jeff is IC Champion here and Matt was given a Snapshot (MNM’s elevated DDT finisher) on the exposed concrete recently. Matt and Nitro start things off but it’s quickly off to Mercury. He goes for Matt’s dislocated jaw but lets Nitro back in for some shots to the ribs. Matt comes back with punches of his own to slow Mercury down in the corner.

Jeff comes in and speeds things up before hitting an atomic drop and legdrop to split the legs of Nitro. Back to Matt who is rubbing his face a lot. A neckbreaker gets two on Nitro but he comes back with a shot to Matt’s jaw to take him right back down. Mercury comes in and slugs away as Matt is playing Ricky Morton for a bit. Back to Nitro for some choking on the ropes and it’s already back to Joey.

Melina does that ear piercing scream of hers and Mercury goes after Matt’s jaw again. Off to a chinlock followed by a hair pull to send Matt to the mat again. Mercury goes to the middle rope but misses an elbow, allowing for the tags to Jeff and Nitro. The sitout gordbuster gets two as everything breaks down. A double suplex puts Nitro down and the Hardys go up for a legdrop from Matt and a splash from Jeff, but the latter hits knees on the way down.

Mercury comes in off the tag and gets two off a knee to the ribs. Nitro does exactly the same before sticking on the ribs for a bit more. Jeff grabs a quick rollup on the incoming Mercury but Joey goes right back to the ribs. Nitro comes in and does the same as MNM continues to keep tagging in and out very quickly. We hit a chinlock with a bodyscissors but Jeff fights out pretty quickly. He still can’t make the tag but finally backdrops Nitro down and makes the tag….which isn’t seen. I love that spot.

Jeff hits a mule kick to take Mercury down and FINALLY makes the hot tag to Matt. Things speed up a lot and Matt fires off elbows to everyone named M or N. A combination bulldog and clothesline takes MNM down for two followed by the yodeling elbow to the back of Nitro’s head. There’s Poetry in Motion to Mercury but one to Nitro misses, as Johnny grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two on Matt. The Side Effect puts Nitro down but Mercury spears Matt to the floor. As he went through the ropes though, Jeff made a blind tag and hits the Swanton on Nitro for the pin.

Rating: B. This took a long time to get going but it was building up to a nice finish. This was old school tag team stuff and that’s hard to screw up. MNM was getting a good rub off the Hardys who were as much of a nostalgia act as you could have at this point. Good stuff here and a hot opener, at least after the tag to Matt.

Coach and Teddy talk trash about brand dominance. Edge comes in to draw and runs into Kelly Kelly, who is an exhibitionist. Edge’s condescending talking to Kelly is hilarious stuff. Orton comes in to draw and threatens to throw his tag title partner out if need be. Edge: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Booker walks in and comedy ensues.

Wrestlemania promo. I liked that All Grown Up campaign.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley pulls Test back in and beats him up, which makes you wonder WHY DID THEY NOT DO THIS BEFORE???

Cena gets his broken ribs looked at when Vince comes in to see if Cena wants to forfeit. Vince says he can’t see (get it?) Cena as champion after tonight….and that’s it. I don’t remember them having an issue at this point but whatever.

We recap Mr. Kennedy (Anderson) vs. Batista, which is just Kennedy winning a Beat the Clock challenge and having a great record against former world champions.

Smackdown World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista

Kennedy slaps Batista to start and takes over as he tries to tie Batista up. Batista slugs him down and gets two off a suplex and we head outside. Kennedy spears/shoves Batista into the steps, injuring Batista’s knee in the process. We get into a regular “hurt the big man’s knee” match which is the smartest thing they could do here. A reverse Figure Four has Batista in trouble but Kennedy gets caught holding the rope.

A running kick to Batista’s face in the corner has the champion in trouble again and a knee to the head gets two. Off to a half crab for a minute or so before Batista fights up and hits a spinebuster to put both guys down. Kennedy kicks him in the face but Batista Hulks Up. There’s a weak slam as the knee is giving out on the champion.

Batista hits a Regal Roll (Kennedy used that a lot) of all things but Kennedy hits the knee to break up the Batista Bomb. The referee gets bumped so there’s no one to count after Kennedy’s neckbreaker. A DDT gets two and JBL is LOSING IT. The fans chant for Kennedy as he goes to the middle rope, only to jump into a clothesline followed by a Batista Bomb to retain the title.

Rating: D+. The psychology was there from Kennedy but Batista didn’t really go along with it. I’m not saying he didn’t sell, but at the end of the day this was only eleven minutes long which isn’t enough time to tell the story they were going for. Also Kennedy didn’t have the Mic Check yet so he didn’t have anything to finish Batista with and everyone knew it. Not a bad match but they needed more than they had here.

Kevin Thorn draws his number. He and Ariel leave and Hornswoggle comes in to terrorize the tumbler. Apparently he’s in the Rumble too and attacks Coach for good measure. Khali comes in and scares Horny off. Kelly makes a stupid joke about holding balls, drawing in Ron Simmons for his usual line.

The Marine is on DVD.

Wrestlemania is coming and Saliva, the band that does the theme song, is in the front row.

We recap Cena vs. Umaga. Cena escaped the last PPV with the title and gave Umaga his first loss so tonight it’s last man standing. Cena is coming into this with bad ribs.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Cena is defending and this is last man standing. Cena pounds away to start but Umaga barely moves. Umaga gets in a shot to the ribs and Cena falls to the outside, clutching his ribs. The champ gets sent into the steps and it’s all Umaga in the early going. They slug it out in the aisle and all of a sudden Cena’s punches work better. He tries to ram Umaga face first into the apron but Umaga screams and hits Cena in the ribs again.

Back in and Cena is in even more trouble with Umaga pounding on the ribs. A clothesline puts Cena down and Umaga brings in the steps. Cena knocks him off the apron though and throws the steps down onto Umaga’s (hands covering) head. It looked a lot better when Kane did it because you couldn’t see the hands but whatever. That draws a six count but more importantly it allows Cena to get a breather.

Umaga superkicks Cena down and it’s off to a bearhug. Since there are no submissions, Umaga lets Cena go and brings in some more steps. The steps are set up in the corner but Cena avoids the running hip attack (SEE??? IT WAS UMAGA AND NOT RIKISHI!!! SCREW YOU WWE ANNOUNCERS!!!) and blasts Umaga in the head with the steps. That only gets seven so Cena goes up and jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom, drawing some loud screams from the champ.

The Samoan cannonballs down onto Cena’s ribs but Cena finally knees him in the crotch to slow Umaga down. The Protobomb sends Umaga onto the steps but only gets about five as Cena hits the Shuffle to break the count. Cena tries the FU but Umaga’s weight causes Cena to fall face first into the steps. John is busted open so the fans tell him that he sucks. Ignore the fact that almost no one else could get a match this good out of Umaga I guess.

Cena gets up at eight and gets punched in the face some more, only to start Hulking Up. He pounds away on Umaga but walks into a Samoan Drop, driving the ribs and Cena’s shoulder into the mat. The Samoan Spike is blocked (for the life of me I do not get why they picked a thumb to the neck for Umaga’s finisher. The guy is a MONSTER and he pokes you in the neck?) so Umaga headbutts Cena down instead.

Umaga puts him in the Tree of Woe but Cena sits up in the corner to avoid a running headbutt. The top rope Fameasser takes Umaga down and Cena sends him shoulder first into the post. They head to the floor and Cena is covered in blood. With Umaga http://onhealthy.net/product-category/antibiotics/ still laying over the ropes, Cena BLASTS HIM with a monitor to the head to put him down. Back to the floor but Umaga catches a diving Cena and drives him back first into the post.

Umaga puts Cena on the announce table and runs along the other tables, only to miss a splash and crash onto the ground. That gets nine and Cena has no idea what to do next. Estrada, Umaga’s manager, unhooks the top rope and tells Umaga to use the metal pole to blast Cena in the head. Cena catches a charging Umaga with the FU and hits him in the head with the pole. He hooks a kind of STF with the ring rope and Umaga is passing out. Umaga starts fighting up so Cena chokes him even more. FINALLY Umaga is out and Cena retains the title.

Rating: B+. This was a FIGHT which is what a last man standing match is supposed to do. I was digging the story they were telling here with Cena fighting a savage but having to become a savage himself to beat him. The fans didn’t like him at this point, but screw them as would you really rather have Umaga as champion? This was one of many awesome matches Cena had in this stretch, but OH NO kids like him so he must suck right? Give me a break.

Sandman draws his number and has a beer. Flair comes in to draw and gets hit on by Kelly. We get the adult music and Extreme Expose comes in to dance with Flair, complete with club lighting. Not that I’m complaining about Layla, Brooke (Tessmacher) and Kelly dancing in barely there outfits, but WHY DID THAT HAPPEN???

Rumble video. Not much else to say here as I’m sure you get the idea by now. This is more of a history package than a hype video for this year. The theme of this year is how star studded it is. Seven guys are from ECW so I question this premise.

Royal Rumble

Flair is #1 (second time for that along with drawing #3 one year. He really doesn’t have a great record in these things) and Finlay is #2. Finlay drops Flair with a quick shoulder and we have ninety second intervals here. Flair chops away in the corner but gets backdropped down for his efforts. Kenny Dykstra of Spirit Squad fame and currently in a small feud with Flair is #3. Flair chops away at him in the corner and Finlay tries to dump Kenny.

Everyone hits everyone for a while until Matt Hardy is #4. That’s a pretty diverse group of guys to start things off. The young and old guys pair off with Finlay and Kenny taking over. Matt takes over on Finlay and Edge is #5. Hardy avoids a spear and hits a Twist of Fate but gets taken down with a double clothesline with Kenny. Ric throws in a chair but Edge easily throws him out instead. Kenny tries to take credit despite doing nothing, so Edge throws him out too.

Tommy Dreamer is #6 and takes down Edge of all people before getting beaten up in the corner by Finlay. Sabu is #7 and actually doesn’t bring any weapons with him. Instead he finds a table under the ring and sets it up at ringside before going in to fight Dreamer. Nothing of note happens for now so here’s Gregory Helms at #8. Finlay is sent to the apron but he hangs onto the bottom rope.

The Irishman almost sends Sabu through the table but Sabu hangs on. Now Helms teases going through it but saves himself as well. Shelton Benjamin is #9 and goes for Hardy. Benjamin and Finlay both nearly go out but somehow both survive. They’ve teased that table being broken about five times already. Kane is #10 and immediately pounds away on everyone. There’s a chokeslam to Edge and an elimination for Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through the table. Law of wrestling #1: you set up the table, you’re going through it.

CM Punk is #11 and is immediately called boring by JBL for not smoking and drinking. Finlay sends CM to the apron but can’t get him out. There’s the running knee to Edge’s head in the corner from Punk but again he can’t get an elimination. King Booker is #12 and dumps Helms pretty quickly. We’ve currently got Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Shelton, Kane, Booker and Punk.

Super Crazy is #13 and is knocked down by Kane before he can do much else. JBL mentions that Mil Mascaras owes him money, which he said on Raw a few months ago. I wonder if there’s something to that. Booker and Finlay go at it until Jeff Hardy is #14. The Hardys team up on Finlay (smart) before shifting over to Edge. Now they go after Kane for some reason and hit Poetry in Motion. Sandman is #15 and is gone in as many seconds thanks to Booker.

Jeff skins the cat to save himself and Orton is #16. Hopefully he and Edge (tag champions) can clear things out a bit. Yep there goes Super Crazy and Matt takes the backbreaker. Rated-RKO throws out both Hardys and things are a lot clearer now. Benoit is #17 and fires away chops at everyone. Finlay takes a German as Punk is teetering on the apron. Now Benjamin takes a German and RVD is #18.

Van Dam fires off kicks all around and Kane throws Booker out. Booker, ever the jerk, goes back in and throws out Kane. He beats on the Big Bald on the floor which didn’t set up a Mania match surprisingly enough. Viscera is #19 as things slow down a bit. We’ve got Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam and Viscera in there at the moment. Nitro is #20 and things are getting too full again.

Punk gets crushed in the corner by Viscera for a while and Shelton hangs on by inches. That was impressive. Kevin Thorn is #21 and no one is really doing anything at the moment. Hardcore Holly is #22 and that’s not going to pick anything up. A bunch of guys go after Viscera and Shawn is #23. He’s in DX mode and you know he’s the hometown boy here. Shawn hits a Thesz Press on Finlay and clotheslines him out before superkicking Viscera, allowing a huge group of guys to dump him.

Shelton is gone at Shawn’s hands too. The ring is FINALLY cleared out a bit now until Masters is #24. Nitro goes up top like a schmuck and gets dumped by Benoit. Chavo Guerrero is #25 and Benoit dumps Thorn in the same fashion that he dumped Big Show in 04. Van Dam goes up, can’t find anyone to kick, and hops back down. MVP is #26 as Orton tries to dump Punk.

Nothing happens AGAIN until Carlito is #27. There are way too many people in the ring again. Shawn is sent to the apron but you know he’s not going out yet. Great Khali is #28 and swings his arms a lot on the way to the ring. The match stops as Khali gets in and he beats everyone down. Khali dumps Holly as Miz is #29. He lasts a good seven seconds and there’s only one man left. Van Dam is thrown out as are Punk and Carlito. Chavo gets dumped as well and Shawn gets chokebombed. Things look hopeless but heeeeeeeeeeere’s Taker at #30.

This gives us a final group of Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Taker. Taker and Khali slug it out with everyone else down. The Dead Man finally puts Khali out with a clothesline and everyone else gets beaten down as well. MVP is eliminated and tries to get a chair but Orton takes it away and cracks Taker in the head with it. Edge tries to spear Orton down but gets scared off by the chair. Instead of going after Edge though, Orton hits the RKO on Shawn to send him down to the floor but not out.

Rated-RKO goes after Taker and we’re in a handicap match at this point. Taker fights back but can’t hit a double chokeslam. He can however hit a double clothesline while being busted open. Snake Eyes and the big boot drop Edge but as Taker goes to chokeslam Orton, Edge spears Taker down. A BIG chair shot to the head drops Taker again and it’s Conchairto time. Shawn comes back in and backdrops Orton out before superkicking Edge out to get us down to two.

The fans are WAY into this all of a sudden as Taker sits up. He looks over at Shawn and there’s the nipup. The showdown is on and Shawn pounds away in the corner to no avail. Shawn kicks the chair to the floor and gets launched into the corner so Taker can pound away even more. Shawn is knocked upside down in the corner but punches his way to safety. Shawn does a Flair Flip to the apron but Taker misses a big boot, sending HIM to the apron as well. Shawn charges into an elbow and both guys are back in.

A neckbreaker puts Taker down but Shawn can’t follow-up. They slug it out and Taker kicks Shawn’s head off to take over again. Taker lifts him for a suplex and wisely puts him on the apron instead of down onto the mat. Shawn fights back and goes up, only to get crotched. Taker loads up a superplex but gets knocked down so Shawn can hit the flying elbow. Chin Music is caught and there’s a chokeslam but Taker can’t follow-up. The tombstone is countered into a superkick and both guys are down again. Taker catches another superkick and dumps Shawn to the floor, nearly silencing the fans in the process.

Rating: C+. The ending stuff starting with Khali cleaning house until Taker dumps Shawn out is GREAT, but until then it’s pretty dull with way too much lying around and too many people in there. The ending here is pretty questionable too as Shawn is in his hometown and would wind up being in the actual main event of Mania anyway. Taker would beat Batista for the Smackdown Title, which makes you wonder why they didn’t have Shawn win for the big hometown win here, as the results literally would have been THE EXACT SAME THING. Not a great Rumble at all but the ending helps it a lot.

Overall Rating: C+. There are two long matches here and both of them are solid enough so I can’t complain much here. The stuff that is good is good and the stuff that is bad is bad, so while it’s not terrible, this definitely isn’t a must see show. Shawn and Taker are of course great together and would have some masterpieces at Mania in the coming years, but they couldn’t make this a great show on their own.

Ratings Comparison

Hardys vs. MNM

Original: B-

Redo: B

Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Original: D-

Redo: D

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Original: B-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. Umaga

Original: C

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C+

Man I REALLY liked that ending last time. I have no idea what I was thinking on the world title matches though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/26/royal-rumble-count-up-2007-the-best-spot-finally-wins/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This one might surprise you a bit.

When you think about it, there weren’t a ton of great title reigns this year. Most of the reigns were either transitional, short term, or really nothing all that special. Look at Havok with the Knockouts Title for example. The idea was to build her up for someone to build ala Lashley, but Havok wrestled something like five or six matches in total before dropping the title. That’s really hard to get behind you know?

Speaking of Lashley, we’ll start with his reign as TNA World Champion. Lashley’s reign was actually a huge surprise for me as he finally hit the level that WWE was looking for. Imagine that: a guy with an intimidating look, a great physique, great amateur skills and no talking skills is better suited as a heel. This was your old school monster heel run and it worked really well as Lashley destroyed every major face on the roster. I wasn’t crazy on Roode just getting another shot and taking the title, but it made him look like a world beater.

Off to the tag division, where we have some solid options.

Ascension held the NXT Tag Team Titles for just under a year and had almost no competition the entire time. This was another old school style run with shades of Demolition or the Legion of Doom: two big, strong guys who just beat you down while loving every minute of it. The only downside is the reign went on a bit too long and got repetitive, but the idea was solid and the title defenses were great.

Up on the main roster, we had the Usos doing the polar opposite. Instead of beating everyone down, they opted to just have one great, competitive match after another with their matches against the Wyatts and the Wrestlemania XXX pre-show blowing away a lot of the other tag team matches we’ve seen in the previous years. That being said though, the Usos’ reign just doesn’t feel epic. It’s entertaining, but comes off like Strike Force: good matches and chemistry, but it felt like a long transitional reign which took on a life of its own instead of something great.

One last tag team would be ReDRagon’s ROH Tag Team Title reign….but I don’t watch much ROH. I’ve heard good things but I can’t really comment on it when I’ve only seen two or three of their matches.

That leaves my choice for the win: Adrian Neville as NXT Champion. This one is a lot more simple as Neville won the title in a big match, had a series of major defenses and then dropped the title in a classic. The reign went on for the better part of a year and had every necessary element of a great title reign. Some of the others come close, but no one else nailed it like Neville did down in the best promotion going right now.

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

The main change here is that we’ve seen the rise of Batista and Cena, with the latter defending against Angle and a crooked referee tonight. On top of that we’ve got Raw vs. Smackdown in a major Survivor Series match which actually feels kind of big for once. Other than that there’s HHH vs. Flair in a Last Man Standing match which should be good. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about the main event and bragging rights to start things off.

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

This is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title, which would go on until January and saw Randy Orton wrestling four of the matches in Booker’s place. Benoit gets in Booker’s face in the corner and they tie up for a bit. Booker hits an awkward kind of slam but Benoit pops right back up. Benoit sends him to the floor and that goes absolutely nowhere. Back in and Chris takes him to the mat with a leg hold.

After Booker grabs a rope, it’s time for a test of strength with Booker (the heel here) kicking Benoit in the face to take over. When all else fails, kick the guy in the face. A suplex puts Booker down as does an elbow to the face. Booker hits a side slam for two and it’s off to an arm hold followed by an abdominal stretch. After Benoit escapes, Booker kicks his head off for two. This is moving somewhat slowly so far but it’s not bad.

Booker hits an arm trap neckbreker (like Sandow’s Terminus) for two and it’s off to a reverse chinlock. Benoit escapes a vertical suplex and it’s time to roll some Germans, but Booker escapes the third and kicks Benoit in the face again. Another attempt at a kick is caught in a legdrag but the Sharpshooter that follows it up doesn’t quite work, giving Booker a cradle for two.

A snap suplex gets two for Chris and we roll some more Germans. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s distraction lets Booker load up a superplex. Benoit goes psycho though and headbutts Booker to the mat, but the Swan Dive misses, allowing Booker to get a rollup with Sharmell holding Booker’s feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two are awesome together and both series they had (they did this in WCW for the TV Title) were entertaining stuff. At the end of the day, sometimes there’s nothing wrong with throwing two people out there and letting them have a good match. This was a solid choice for an opener too as both guys got to show off and the fans were getting into it near the end.

Vince wishes Bischoff luck tonight and Montreal is referenced. Of course. Eric says he’ll screw Cena. Cena pops up and says “so Eric Bischoff screws guys. Good luck with that.” Vince then says to Cena, and I 100% quote, “keep it up my nigga.” Booker and Sharmell don’t seem pleased.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Trish is defending and Melina has MNM, the Smackdown tag champions, with him. This is interpromotional apparently. Melina and MNM had kidnapped Trish and held her captive until the match was agreed to. Well that’s one way to do it. Trish and her psycho fan (the brand new Mickie James) come out fast with Trish sending Melina to the floor and diving on all three members of MNM. Trish is looking great here.

Melina gets thrown around by her hair, sending those furry boots flying. Trish headscissors her down and I think they botch a headscissors out of the corner with Trish kicking Melina in the face instead of getting the ankles around her head. Melina uses her basic abilities (meaning stretching to freakish angles to choke and kick a lot) before going to the floor for a cat fight with Mickie.

As the brawl is going on, MNM tries the Snapshot (elevated double team DDT) on Trish, only to get caught and ejected. Things calm down a bit and Melina puts on a surfboard, which may or may not be an excuse to have Trish’s chest shoved out while wearing tight leather. Trish fights back but Stratusfaction is countered into a face plant for two, drawing the primal screams from Melina.

Stratus comes back with some forearms but runs into a boot in the corner. The Stratusphere puts Melina down and there’s a spinebuster of all things for two for Trish. Chick Kick and Stratusfaction miss and Trish is sent to the apron, but Mickie pulls her out of the way of a charging Melina. Trish goes up and misses about 95% of a top rope bulldog but it’s good enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was much better than I was expecting given what level Melina was at here. Trish looked fine (and her wrestling was even good too) but she needed more to work with here. This would lead up to Mickie going totally psycho and evil, setting up an excellent match (other than the ending) at Mania between the two of them.

Watch Jake’s DVD! It’s full of lies but watch it!

Dmitri Young, a baseball payer, is here.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH came back from injury and turned on Flair in their first match together. They fought in a cage match at Taboo Tuesday with Flair somehow pulling out one of the biggest upsets of his career. Tonight it’s a rematch in a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. Oh and Flair is IC Champion but this is non-title. Like HHH would ever actively go after a midcard title. HHH jumps Flair as he comes to the ring and beats on him in the aisle for a bit before we head inside. It’s chair time very quickly but Flair pokes HHH in the ribs with a kendo stick to block the shot. They head into the crowd with Flair chopping HHH through the fans. He swings one time too many though and HHH backdrops him back to ringside.

A suplex puts Flair’s back on the concrete and draws some loud swearing. HHH suplexes him back into the ring and Flair is in trouble. Some quick punches don’t do much good for Flair and we head back to the outside. Flair gets posted, but if that’s not enough to cut him open, HHH carves up his forehead with a freaking SCREWDRIVER. There is blood everywhere in just a matter of seconds, so HHH digs it in even more back in the ring.

HHH takes him down and the knee drop misses by about eight inches. The shot of the second one is even worse and they slug it out in the corner. We head outside again and Flair sends him into the steps to give Flair a breather. Flair pokes HHH in the eye but HHH hits a spinebuster to take him right back down on the concrete. HHH talks trash on the mic and Flair is like “boy Jack Brisco’s tights were tougher than you” and he grabs HHH by the balls. Well when there’s nothing else I guess that’s all you can do. HHH blasts him with the mic to break the grip. I guess that’s Stephanie only territory.

Flair is set for a Pedigree through the announce table but he backdrops HHH through the other table, drawing our first count of the match. That gets a nine and HHH grabs another chair. Back in and HHH has Flair dead to rights but instead of swinging the chair, HHH pounds away with punches instead. HHH pounds away in the corner, so Flair kicks him low again, followed by a chair shot for five. Flair is like YUM and bites at the cut on HHH’s forehead. Flair is kind of a weird dude sometimes.

Ric wraps HHH’s balls around the post and does the same to the leg, which is a smart move in a last man standing match. Then he crushes the balls FOUR MORE TIMES. DUDE FOR THE LOVE OF STEPHANIE GIVE IT A BREAK! Back in and Flair chop blocks HHH, before biting the guy’s thigh. Flair is a pretty sick guy at times no? He goes back to the knee (with kicks this time instead of teeth) but the Figure Four is blocked twice, the second time having Flair knocked to the outside.

For the first time, Flair pulls out a weapon of his own and whacks the knee with a chair. Now the Figure Four goes on and Flair is perfectly allowed to grab the ropes. HHH taps but it doesn’t mean anything here. That draws an 8 with a shaky call from the referee that HHH was up at one point. A double clothesline puts both guys down and HHH rolls to the floor. The Game throws in some steps and clocks Flair in the face with them. Flair needs to scream less. Sometimes you should just be stunned and dazed you know?

HHH charges with the steps again but Flair hits a drop toehold to send HHH into the steps face first. That only gets a nine so they slug it out. Flair sends him into the ropes but ducks his head like an idiot, allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree……which only gets eight. HHH Pedigrees him AGAIN, but Flair is up at 8 and flips off HHH. A THIRD Pedigree gets nine, so HHH “hits” (Get better directors already. This is ridiculous) him in the back with the sledgehammer to finally keep Flair down for ten.

Rating: B+. Bad direction and cuts aside, this was a very solid brawl. They beat the tar out of each other with Flair trying as hard as he could to have one last great moment, but not being evil enough anymore to hang with the new guy in HHH. This was good stuff and thankfully it more or less ended HHH and Flair’s time on camera together.

Flair is taken out on a stretcher.

Buy the Bret Hart DVD! No really, this one is awesome.

Trish and Mickie do an online interview.

Orton gives Team Smackdown a pep talk but talks about Batista as the weak link. Batista shows up and the tune changes. He thinks that since he’s world champion, he should be leader. JBL says it should be him. Batista glares at him and JBL stammers a lot.

Here are Edge and Lita with something to say. Edge is Mr. MITB at this point but doesn’t have a match tonight. Edge talks about how his own talk show, called The Cutting Edge, is debuting soon. Now that we’ve got that covered, let’s talk to Dmitri Young. Edge makes fun of the Tigers for not being able to win the World Series and calls everyone here fat. He makes fun of the Detroit sports teams and now they give Dmitri Young (“Come here Mark Henry. Oh wait…”) a live mic. Young talks about Edge’s balls and lists off all of Detroit’s titles before saying Edge has none. This took seven minutes somehow.

We recap Angle vs. Cena. Basically it’s “I’m Kurt Angle and therefore better than you. NOW LET ME SHOUT EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID AGAIN!” Cena is like bring it man and whatever rhymes with man!

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Daivari, Angle’s crony, is the guest referee. The YOU SUCKS from the crowd are censored because of some Bischoff ruling. Daivari is rubbing Angle’s shoulders during the intros. Oh and Cena is defending. The champ is here….right on the mat with Angle working on the leg. Cena comes back with an armdrag into an armbar and some shoulder blocks to send Kurt to the floor. Daivari won’t let Cena go after Angle and Joey is way more excited about it than anyone else. Isn’t Daivari doing what a referee is supposed to do anyway?

Back in and Cena hits some elbows and a release fisherman’s suplex for no count from Daivari. Cena goes to yell at him and is immediately caught in the ankle lock. Cena finally gets to the rope but Daivari kicks his hand off. The hold is broken and Cena spinebusts Angle before slapping Daivari a few times. Angle won’t let Daivari DQ Cena, so Cena knocks them both to the floor.

Kurt gets all fired up and slams Cena into the steps and hits an overhead belly to belly on the outside. A second referee comes out as Daivari is still down. Daivari would be a wrestler one day, so how did he get so much better at being able to take punishment? I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, Cena puts on a reverse waistlock but Cena comes back with a cross body for two. Angle comes back with a knee lift and Cena is in trouble.

The fans are ALL OVER Cena all of a sudden, with a huge Cena Sucks chant. Off to a chinlock with Angle holding the leg back as well. Cena finally comes back with a jawbreaker and a DDT to put both guys down. They slug it out with Cena taking over via some clotheslines. Cena initiates his finishing sequence and is set for the FU, but Angle clotheslines the replacement referee.

A low blow puts Cena down and Angle calls in another referee to count two on the Angle Slam. Angle superplexes Cena down for two but the moonsault misses. Cena loads up another FU but Angle grabs the referee to escape. An uppercut puts the referee down AGAIN and Kurt throws Daivari back in, who is apparently STILL out cold after about ten minutes, breaking Davey Boy Smith’s record from 1994. A Smackdown referee comes down but Angle yells at him, allowing Cena to DDT Daivari. Kurt comes in and walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: C. This was WAY overbooked and Cena was in over his head with Angle, but it wasn’t bad or anything. Angle vs. Cena was supposed to be a huge feud but it never felt like anything all that special. Cena wasn’t ready for a real showdown with Angle yet but he would get a lot better over the next year or so though. The referee stuff was kind of stupid though, especially with Daivari being out cold for so long.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Yes this is real, yes it’s happening on PPV, yes we’re supposed to ignore Bischoff being a martial arts expert from WCW and thing Teddy might have a chance in a straight fight, and yes this is going to SUCK. Teddy has some network consultant with him named Palmer Cannon who never lasted long. They’re both GM’s if that wasn’t clear. Teddy poses a lot on the corner and we haven’t had any contact after a minute. Teddy dances a bit and Eric misses a kick. There’s more dancing and no contact still.

We do the exact same thing AGAIN before Eric chokes Teddy with his sash. There are two referees in there for no apparent reason. Eric chokes away but Teddy takes off his shoe and whacks Eric in the head. Bischoff goes to the throat to stop Teddy again…..and here’s the Boogeyman. If you’ve never seen him, picture Darth Maul from the first Star Wars prequel if he ate worms. He sneaks up on Eric and lays him out with a pumphandle slam, giving Teddy the pin.

Rating: S. Six minutes. This match took SIX MINUTES. The WWE owes me six minutes of my life back. John Cena vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship can only get thirteen minutes but this gets SIX? Who in the world thought this was a good idea? At least it went by….no actually it didn’t go by fast. This won worst match of the year and I can’t argue at all.

Team Smackdown is coming to the ring and the Smackdown D-list guys cheer them on.

The Raw guys do the same thing.

We recap Raw vs. Smackdown. At a 3 hour special Raw called WWE Homecoming, there was going to be a Smackdown six man tag but Bischoff turned the lights out on them because he said they were inferior to Raw. This prompted a multiple PPV running feud where they kept invading each others’ shows, setting up a battle for supremacy here.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters, Kane, Big Show,

Batista, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield

Show and Kane are tag champions, Batista is world champion but is injured due to Big Show and Kane attacking him over and over, and Lashley is undefeated at this point. This hasn’t been mentioned yet on the commentary for pretty obvious reasons, but Orton is replacing Eddie Guerrero who died about ten days before this. Shawn vs. Randy gets things going and it’s a very slow opening with both guys feeling the other out.

Orton gets thing going by slapping Shawn so Shawn literally slaps Orton down to the mat. Three times in about 30 seconds, Shawn takes Orton to the mat with a headlock, Orton grabs a headscissors to counter, and Shawn escapes. Randy charges into a boot in the corner but slams Shawn down to take over again. The match is starting slow but the bickering from the commentators is funny stuff, as they’re taking this rivalry personally.

Off to Masters who gets his eyes raked by Orton but the power game of Masters takes over. Lashley comes in to a reaction from the fans and they do the two power guys collide with each other. Bobby takes over with a slam but Masters clotheslines him down. Masters tries the Masterlock but Bobby easily blocks it. Carlito is pulled in and thrown around as well, culminating with a powerslam for two.

Off to Shawn to see what he can do with this monster, but Lashley slams him off the top. A suplex puts Shawn down so Carlito comes in sans tag and takes the Dominator. Shawn is about to take one as well, but Kane breaks it up and chokeslams Lashley to give Shawn the pin. Rey comes in next and Kane hits him in the back as well to give Shawn another advantage. Masters drops some elbows on Rey to keep him on the mat which is the right move.

A gorilla press drop puts Rey down again and here’s Kane who misses an elbow. Mysterio starts speeding things up and gets two off a standing moonsault. Kane comes up with a very easy counter by kicking a charging Rey in the face. Off to a bearhug as this is the longest segment of the match so far. Rey fights out of it and slides between Kane’s legs to make the tag to Batista.

Big Dave gets in some shots but the bandages all over his arm and chest are a target for Kane. Kane gets in a shot and everything breaks down, allowing Batista to hit a spinebuster on Kane for the elimination. Big Show chokeslams Batista for a very close two but Kane and Big Show double chokeslam Batista to put him out. JBL immediately tries the Clothesline on Show but gets grabbed by the throat. JBL kicks Show low, but gets caught jumping off the middle rope. That’s freaking SCARY power by Show. Show superkicks Orton down and LAUNCHES Rey into the corner.

Orton guillotines Show into the Clothesline from JBL who tags….Mysterio? The 619 sets up the RKO which sets up another Clothesline which sets up a seated senton from Rey for the elimination. Cool sequence here as the team all went after Show to get rid of him. Show would DESTROY Rey on a special Smackdown to get revenge. Shawn goes after JBL on the floor and gets thrown away in a fallaway slam.

To recap, it’s Mysterio, JBL and Orton vs. Shawn, Carlito and Masters. It’s Masters vs. Rey now with Masters getting two after sending Mysterio into the corner. Off to Carlito for a legdrop and chinlock for a few moments. Mysterio fights up and makes a blind tag to JBL who ENDS Carlito with a Clothesline to make it 3-2. Masters and JBL slug it out a bit but Rey tags himself in. JBL kicks Chris in the face to give his teammate an advantage, setting up a 619 and the springboard legdrop to take out Masters.

So it’s Shawn vs. Rey/Orton/JBL and Shawn is STILL down on the floor from the fallaway slam. Mysterio starts with Shawn and things go faster. Rey hits the 619 to send Shawn across the ring, but the West Coast Pop jumps right into the superkick ala Shelton Benjamin for the elimination. JBL comes in and tries the Clothesline but gets superkicked down AGAIN to make it Orton vs. Shawn. There were about fifteen seconds between the two pins.

The RKO and superkick both miss so Shawn dives on Orton on the floor to take him out. The fans want Taker who was promised to be here tonight. There are the forearm and superkick followed by some clotheslines. The top rope elbow hits Randy but Shawn can’t cover. JBL is still at ringside for some reason and he grabs a chair. Shawn loads up the superkick again but JBL shoves down the outside referee and misses a chair shot. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was a direct copy of Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff from two years ago, even down to the final participants, but the results were a bit inverted. Here, the part before the solo Shawn part was better but Shawn’s solo part wasn’t as good. Also, Batista running in was better than JBL’s chair stuff here. It’s still probably a better match overall, mainly due to the better opening part.

The low level Smackdown guys come out to put Orton on their shoulders…..and there’s a gong. We’ve got lights, we’ve got chanting, we’ve got druids carrying a casket, and a Dead Man coming out of said casket. Taker walks into the ring and beats up some jobbers as the roster bails. Orton is scared to death to end the show. Hell in a Cell for these two next month.

Overall Rating: B. This show is pretty much never talked about other than occasionally the main event and that’s a shame. This is an entertaining and solid show all around with the only bad match being a battle of the GM’s, and even that only runs six minutes. You have a bloodbath in HHH vs. Flair, a fun main event with entertaining commentary and some solid wrestling all around. Nothing is great, but if you’ve got two hours and forty five minutes to spare, check this out as it’s quality stuff.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B-

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

Redo: C-

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B+

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

Redo: C

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Looking at how TNA screwing up Bound For Glory really shouldn’t be that surprising.http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-know-thyself/29607/

 

Forgive me if there’s no preview for this one.  I have no idea who most of these people are.

Today we’ll look at someone a bit better looking than Raven: Mickie James.

Mickie got started under the name Alexis Laree in 1999. She was mainly a manager but also wrestled at times. We’ll pick things up with an indy company called Southern Championship Wrestling on June 28, 2001.

Alexis Laree vs. Persephone

I’ve never heard of Persephone. Alexis has a title here and is rocking (?) some spiked shoulder pads ala the Legion of Doom. She stalls to start for awhile and Persephone is clearly the favorite. Laree jumps her and they slug it out with the champion getting the better of it. Persephone gets two off a rollup and two more off a fisherman’s suplex. A low blow has no effect on Persephone so Alexis kicks her in the back a few times.

Laree goes outside for no apparent reason and gets caught with a baseball slide to the back. They chop it out on the floor with Persephone getting the better of it, only to have Alexis take over back inside. Some other chick comes out and pulls Alexis to the floor for a beating and I’m assuming that’s a DQ.

Rating: D+. They weren’t all that good yet but it was clear that they were needing ring time more than anything else. The match wasn’t terrible but it was smart to cut it as short as they did. Persephone was pretty much a Lita knockoff with blonde hair, but to be fair Lita was the most popular Diva in like forever at this point.

Laree would head to TNA where she would appear on Weekly PPV #38 on April 2, 2003.

Trinity vs. Alexis Laree

Trinity takes her into the corner to start but Alexis grabs a wristlock. That gets her taken down into an armbar and a headscissors sends Alexis outside. Back in and Laree takes over with kicks to the back followed by a basement dropkick for two. Trinity gets thrown outside and the camera makes sure to get in position behind her. Back in and Trinity kicks her in the face but takes WAY too long going up. Trinity is able to shove her down but misses the moonsault. This brings out Raven to sit in the corner, but Trinity kicks Alexis in the face and hits a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trinity is an old favorite of mine as she was always in great shape and had the awesome looking long black hair. Oh and she could hit a great moonsault. Anyway, this was back when the division was just past Bruce being the women’s champion so these two were a breath of fresh air. Alexis got WAY better since 2001.

Off to OVW, where Alexis was actually in a TV Title tournament. She beat Mike Mondo in the first round, setting up this second round match. From OVW TV on May 28, 2005.

TV Title Tournament Second Round: Bobby Lashley vs. Alexis Laree

Lashley gives her the chance to walk out before the match but one of his managers named Miss Blue offers to take his place. They get in a catfight in the ring until Lashley pulls Alexis off. The bell rings and it’s a powerslam to give Lashley the pin. Yes this was just a novelty to fill in a spot.

Alexis would start going by her real name of Mickie James and debut in WWE in late 2005. She started as a lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, setting up an eventual showdown at Wrestlemania XXII.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.

The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.

Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”

Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead to Mickie challenging for the title again at Survivor Series 2006.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and this is her retirement match. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.

Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Since this is the Divas division, we have to jump around a lot and go from title match to title match. Here’s another match from Backlash 2007.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James

Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.

James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.

Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Judgment Day 2008 for a match with probably Mickie’s biggest rival.

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

Off to Raw on September 8, 2008 for a required six Divas tag.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Mickie would go after the newly created Divas Title at Night of Champions 2009.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse

Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.

We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.

Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.

Mickie would get into a controversial feud with Laycool over Mickie’s weight, which is practically not there. Here’s their showdown at Royal Rumble 2010.

Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.

It was off to TNA after this with Mickie with one of her first major matches at Against All Odds 2011.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Madison’s song is irritating as all goodness. Mickie is dressed like Pocahontas for some reason. She’s sent into the steps and the count is on. Remember that you have to answer a ten count or you lose. They fight up the ramp a bit with Madison in control. Mickie gets in a shot to send Madison into the post for about five. Taz tries to take a shot at the Divas and it doesn’t work that well.

Mickie gets a kick in and clotheslines Madison using the rope to send her to the floor for seven. Cross body off the apron by Mickie puts both girls down. She tries to get the loaded glove off but can’t quite get there. And now we have a shot of the empty ring as the girls are under the ring. Madison comes out as you can hear the crowd talking. Ah there’s Mickie.

She morphs into karate action Mickie to put Madison down with a series of kicks. And then with Madison down Mickie picks her up like a moron. Back in the ring Mickie goes up and gets shoved off to the floor. That gets a long nine which probably should have been ten. Madison loads up the glove but Mickie gets a shot to the arm.

Thesz Press off the top puts Madison down for two. Spinning kick puts the champion down again and Mickie steals the glove. At about 8 Tara (called Victoria by Tazz) comes out to break it up. Madison pulls brass knucks out of her boot and drills Mickie to keep the freaking title. Oh dang it just give Mickie her title already!

Rating: C+. Decent match here but the ending was just stupid. There is ZERO justification to keep the title on Madison here and yet they’re just going to keep on doing it. Well sure why not. It’s not like no one cares about her or she’s nothing special in the ring or her gimmick is boring. Good match, bad decision at the end.

Mickie would put her hair on the line for a chance at the Knockouts Title at Lockdown 2011.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off. At least the girls both look great. Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds. Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.

We’ll jump to TV for a bit with Impact, September 1, 2011.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Another one from January 19, 2012.

Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.

Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.

Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.

Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.

Mickie would go after the title again because there aren’t many stories with the Knockouts. From Final Resolution 2012.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara

They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.

Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.

We’ll wrap it up with Mickie’s last title win on Impact, May 23, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.

The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.

Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.

Mickie James was the successor to Trish and Lita and she held that up very well. The problem is she didn’t have the best crop of talent to work with her and it caused some issues. That being said, she can have a great match with the right opponent. The fact that she’s absolutely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

In OVW, he was called Brock Lesnar Times Ten. It’s Bobby Lashley.

After dominating OVW for a bit (though not winning any titles), Lashley was quickly on WWE TV. He destroyed Simon Dean in his TV debut, but here’s the rematch on pay per view.

Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Since one opponent wasn’t enough, here’s another match against two people at Armageddon 2005.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

Lashley would make it to the finals of the 2006 King of the Ring, with the finals taking place at Judgment Day 2006.

King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley

Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.

Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.

Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.

Five days later, JBL issued an open challenge for the US Title. From May 26, 2006 on Smackdown.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley throws him around to start but gets kicked in the face. Some right hands in the corner have Lashley in trouble but the Clothesline From JBL is countered with a spear to give Lashley the title.

After losing the title, Lashley would be in the main event of No Mercy 2006 for a World Title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money you moron!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Lashley would be sent to ECW soon after this and be involved in the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember 2006.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. Quite a shame that he didn’t have a chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is so stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in a FREAKING MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

The first major title defense was at the 2007 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley would be Donald Trump’s representative in the Battle of the Billionaires in the biggest match of his career at Wrestlemania XXIII.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

This launched a feud with the McMahons, who took the ECW Title from Lashley via some shenanigans. Here’s Lashley’s rematch at One Night Stand 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.

He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?

Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.

Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.

Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.

Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.

Lashley would be moved to Raw soon after this, meaning he couldn’t be ECW Champion. Instead, he would be put into the Raw main event scene and have a showdown with Cena at Great American Bash 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

As mentioned, that would be it for Lashley in WWE but he would show up in TNA in about two years. Here’s a big match from Bound For Glory 2009.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Another from Final Resolution 2009.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4th to no one really caring.

Lashley would bail soon after this and not be back for over four years. However he would quickly be back in 2014 and almost immediately in the title picture. Here he is in a title shot on Impact, June 19, 2014.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

Young is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one arm.

The champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge, only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin and the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.

Lashley is a great case of a guy who is all look and some substance but nowhere near enough to be at the level WWE wanted him to be. The guy just can’t talk and it’s very obvious most of the time. He’s great as a dominator and monster, but having him as the top guy didn’t work in the slightest. Winning the TNA Title is good, but it’s WAY too late.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 24, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the second show in New York and the main story is whether or not Austin Aries is going to cash in the X-Division Title for a shot at the World Title next week. Does TNA think that the fans believe he might keep the midcard title instead of going after the big one using an idea he created? Other than that I’m sure Bully will be chasing Dixie around the arena with a table in hand again. Let’s get to it.

Austin Aries arrives.

We look back at the end of last week’s show where Ray almost put Dixie through a table.

MVP vs. Bobby Roode

Falls count anywhere. There’s no MVP so we go to the back where Angle orders MVP, still on crutches, to the ring. Roode runs to the back and goes after MVP before ramming him into various hard objects. They head back to the arena and fight in the crowd. There hasn’t been a bell yet. MVP throws a beer at Roode and hits him in the ribs with chair but misses a running kick to the face.

They get back to ringside and MVP knocks him down for some two counts. I didn’t hear a bell but I guess that doesn’t matter in a brawl like this. Roode suplexes him on the ramp for two as Kenny King makes a save. Eric Young jumps King from behind and chases him off as Roode is sent into the steps. Back in and MVP nails Roode in the back with a chair over and over. He tries a running boot to drive Roode’s head into the chair but Bobby moves and kicks out the bad knee. Now it’s Roode with the chair and hammers away at the knee before putting on a bad looking Sharpshooter for the submission at approximately 8:00.

Rating: C. This was nothing too great but at least Roode comes out looking strong. It really would have hurt him if he had lost to a one legged boss, and TNA is NEVER known for having their top face get treated like a loser. Good enough match here though and it’s nice to see a match open the show for a change.

Video on Hardy vs. Lashley last week.

Here’s a limping Jeff Hardy with something to say. Jeff says we’ll see Willow again someday and he does everything to entertain the people. He says http://genericclomid.net he’s got someone special for us here and the fans chant for Matt. That’s exactly what they get too and Matt looks better than he has in awhile.

Matt thanks Jeff and the fans for letting him come back because he needed to go away and get healthy. He thinks he’s let the fans down but they tell him thank you. Matt thinks it’s time for the Hardy Boys to be back on top of the roster, and what better way than to win the Tag Team Titles at Destination X? He invites the Wolves down to see them and here come the champions. There isn’t much said here, but the Wolves respect the Hardys very much and would love to give them a title shot.

Aries has made his decision.

All three BroMans are in the ring with Jesse bragging about Robbie E. being on a reality show. He won’t say what it is but says it’s a big deal (it’s Amazing Race). DJZ brags about being the best in the X-Division. Now it’s time for his match.

Low Ki vs. DJZ

DJZ actually takes over to start and gets two off a running knee to the face. Ki comes back with kicks to the face and right hands in the corner and a quick Ki Crusher (sitout fisherman’s buster) gets the pin at 2:30.

Gunner is in the back with Samuel Shaw and talking about some girl when Anderson comes in. Shaw knows Anderson doesn’t like him, but maybe one day he’ll have to.

Ethan Carter III is with Rhino and Spud and talks about being from the streets of Boca Raton. Dixie comes in with King Mo and tells her men to take out the extreme guys in their hometown.

Magnus/Bram vs. Gunner/Mr. Anderson

Gunner elbows Magnus in the face to start but it’s quickly off to Bram with a big slam. More slams have him in trouble and Gunner hammers away with right hands. It’s back to Magnus who gets elbowed down by Anderson, followed by the rolling fireman’s carry. Everything breaks down and Bram posts Anderson before sending him back in for a Spine Shanker (German suplex into a sitout Rock Bottom) for the pin at 2:48.

The Brits keep up the beating post match but Shaw runs in to take the shot with the piece of metal for Anderson. Abyss runs in and beats up Bram for the save.

Bully Ray says he’s losing sleep over not being able to put Dixie through a table. Tonight he’s teaming with Dreamer and D-Von in a New York City street fight.

Video on Austin Aries and the history of Option C.

Kurt Angle comes out and explains Option C to the fans before asking Aries to come out. Austin says this sounds like a no brainer. This brings out MVP and Bobby Lashley with the former boss talking about how Lashley is bigger, stronger and faster than Austin Aries. MVP says Aries has built up the X-Division and should stick to what he knows.

Aries cuts them off and says he knows how to touch things and make the great. He knows what it takes to be the World Heavyweight Champion. Aries knows that MVP held him down and says he can do things in this ring that MVP couldn’t do with four legs. Lashley may be bigger and stronger than Aries, but there’s no way he’s tougher. Austin cashes in the belt for a shot next week.

Video on Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell’s rivalry.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Gail is defending and starts fast with a takedown followed by a superplex. The running cross body in the corner gets two but both girls try cross bodies at the same time. Taryn makes her comeback with a snap suplex and goes up to but the Beautiful People come in for the DQ at 4:04.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than Taryn in her very revealing outfits. These two had a great rivalry but it was over a year ago and I don’t think a lot of the fans remember it all that well. The ending likely sets up a tag and then a fourway because that’s almost all this division knows how to do.

Great Muta vs. Robbie E.

Kicks, power drive elbows, Shining Wizard, pin in 57 seconds.

James Storm comes out post match and yells at Muta about earning your spot. He spits beer in Muta’s face and beats him down but Sanada comes in with the save. Sanada turns on Muta with the mist and lays him out before nailing a moonsault. He bows to Storm and leaves with him.

Dixie and King Mo talk about regretting allowing Tommy Dreamer to come in here a few years ago. They want those chants to stop and will be sitting in the balcony to watch the match.

Tommy Dreamer/Team 3D vs. Ethan Carter III/Spud/Rhino

Street fight. It’s a brawl to start of course and Ethan is coming in with bad ribs from the attack last week. The extreme ones take over to start and Bully throws Spud over the top and down onto Carter. Rhino is dropped as well and we take an early break. Back with Ray using the cheese grater on Ethan’s chest but Rhino makes the save.

Dreamer takes Rhino down and Spud goes after D-Von in the corner, only to get caught in a Doomsday Device. Dreamer does the baseball slide into the chair in the Tree of Woe and it’s table time. A fan in a black hoodie tries to jump the barricade but Ray is right on him. Dreamer hits Carter with a Singapore cane and loads up the piledriver but Ezekiel Jackson from WWE runs in and lays Dreamer out, allowing Ethan to hit the 1%er onto a chair for the pin on Dreamer at 11:43.

Rating: D+. It’s another ECW match and another WWE reject being brought in. Jackson is all look and little more, but I’m assuming this is part of the “REAL ECW” being brought in to take out the extreme guys. It’s a nice idea but at the end of the day, it means we have to watch Ezekiel Jackson.

Post match a gloating Dixie comes out and tells security to let the other guy up, revealing Snitsky. The beating is on and Team Dixie stands tall to end the show. Rhino holding up the unconscious Spud made me chuckle.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t as good but it’s incredible how energetic these New York shows have been. I can’t imagine Aries takes the title next week but it’s always fun to see a challenger being built up, even if it’s just for a week. Dixie has to be going through a table before they’re out of this set of tapings or TNA is somehow more inept than I thought they were.

Results
Bobby Roode b. MVP – Sharpshooter
Low Ki b. DJZ – Ki Crusher
Bram/Magnus b. Gunner/Mr. Anderson – Spine Shanker to Anderson
Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell went to a no contest when the Beautiful People interfered
Great Muta b. Robbie E. – Shining Wizard
Ethan Carter III/Rhino/Spud b. Team 3D/Tommy Dreamer – 1%er onto a chair to Dreamer

How do you like me now? Today is Bob Holly.

Holly got his start in 1987 and we’ll be picking things up in 1988 in Memphis.

Pat Rose/Bob Holly vs. Shaun Baxter/Great Senshe

Rose and Holly are in Hart Foundation tights, even down to the color scheme. Rose and Baxter get things going with Baxter quickly slamming him down. Off to Holly, who is rocking a mullet, and walks into some armdrags. Senshe (generic masked guy from Japan) comes in and cranks on the arm before sending Holly to the corner for a tag to Rose. Baxter comes back in as well and gets caught in a Hart Attack with Holly playing Bret.

Rose nails a powerslam and tags Holly back in for a top rope knee drop. Holly stomps away in the corner but gets nailed in the jaw, allowing for the tag to Senshe. The masked man doesn’t have much luck either as the Hart Foundation knockoffs stomp away in the corner. Senshe stops a charging Rose with a superkick and it’s quickly back to Baxter, who is caught in a chinlock. Rose hiptosses him down for two and puts on a weak chinlock.

Baxter gets thrown to the floor but comes back in with a sunset flip for two. It’s back to Holly for a front facelock before Rose misses an elbow. Senshe comes in with his martial arts stuff as everything breaks down. With his team in trouble, Holly and Rose’s manager Brother Ernest hits Baxter in the back with something I couldn’t make out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was VERY Memphis with a long match that got the live fans’ attention but wasn’t the most interesting match to an outside viewer. The Hart Foundation stuff was interesting as it’s clearly copying them, but you would think it would be used on a winning team instead of on two guys who hadn’t proven much yet.

The required WWF jobbing spot, from Superstars 1991.

Bob Holly/Mike Samples vs. Bushwhackers

The more famous team stalls before the match before quickly clearing the ring. Holly comes in for the first time and walks into a battering ram and the double gutbuster for the pin. Total squash.

Holly would head to SMW as Hollywood Bob Holly. Here he is on February 8, 1992.

Bob Holly vs. Tim Frye

Both guys trade wristlocks to start with Frye getting the better of it. Holly comes back with a nice dropkick and a legdrop for two. A boot to the chest gets two on Frye but he comes back with another armdrag. Holly nails a clothesline and a top rope knee drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here but Cornette was hilarious on commentary, talking about how Holly was going to be the next a-list star in Hollywood. Holly definitely had charisma, but he really needed something else to get him up to the next level. Frye could have been anyone out there.

Holly would head to the WWF in 1994 as a racecar driver named Sparky Plugg. Here he is o Raw, December 19, 1994.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Kanyon

Thankfully the Plugg name is already gone. A hiptoss and dropkick put Kanyon down and Holly cranks on an armbar. Kanyon comes back with an armdrag and a belly to back suplex for two. Holly snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. A suplex sets up a top rope knee drop for the pin on Kanyon.

Rating: D. You might be noticing a pattern in a lot of these matches: they’re really not that interesting. Holly is a very generic wrestler at this point and doesn’t have anywhere near the talent level to pull off such a stupid character as a wrestling racecar driver. It was a squash, but it was a boring squash.

Holly would get a fairly big push after this as he teamed with the 1-2-3 Kid in a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. Here’s the final from Royal Rumble 1995.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

The rise wouldn’t last long as Holly would have this match at Summerslam 1995.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.

We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.

Holly would be used to put over a string of debuting wrestlers, including Justin Hawk Bradshaw and this man, on Raw, April 1, 1996.

Bob Holly vs. Mankind

Mankind takes over to start and hammers away in the corner before hitting a running knee to the head. Holly fires off some right hands but gets elbowed in the head. The dropkick puts Mankind down and a cross body puts him on the floor. Mankind sends him into the barricade to take over before heading back inside for the Mandible Claw for the submission. Basic dominance.

Here’s another match from Thursday Raw Thursday on February 13, 1997.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

In 1998, Holly would become Bombastic Bob, one half of the New Midnight Express. They had a chance to win the NWA World Tag Team Titles on Raw, March 30, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: New Midnight Express vs. Headbangers

Pretty sure this is the final appearance of the titles or the NWA on Raw. Cornette sits in on commentary. He has Dan the Beast Severn with him as a bodyguard. The Bangers mash up everyone here and I apologize for that awful joke. We get down to an actual match and the Express takes over. Cornette rants about how awesome Severn is and at the time he’s the NWA Champion. DX is going to introduce another member tonight.

Bob beats on Thrasher for awhile as this needs to end. Like I said this was the last mention of the NWA tag titles but Severn stuck around for awhile. To be fair though there were far too many factions around at this point so they needed to drop a few of them. Hot tag brings in Mosh and everything breaks down. A Rocket Launcher to Mosh gives the Express the titles.

Rating: D+. Total mess here but thankfully this ended it. Not much of a match at all but the point was to make Severn the star which they would do after the match. He would be world champion for like 4 years or something and dropped it like a year from now. He would also be the last champion before TNA got the rights to the belt. Notice that I’m not talking about the match at all. Should tell you something.

In late 1998, Holly would finally find the character he was looking for when he became Hardcore Bob Holly. This put him right in the middle of the hardcore division, earning him a shot at the Hardcore title at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

Later in the year, Hardcore would get a new partner, his cousin Crash. They pair would get a Tag Team Title shot against the Rock N Sock Connection on Raw, Octber 18, 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Hollies vs. Rock N Sock Connection

Mankind is upset at Rock for allegedly throwing his book in the trash and is sitting on the steps instead of getting on the apron. The cousins double team Rock to start until it’s Crash taking over. Rock’s ribs are banged up and the challengers are all over them as Mankind looks over his shoulder into the ring. Hardcore comes in and kicks at the ribs before a dropkick gets two.

A suplex puts Rock down and Hardcore heads outside to call Mankind worthless. Crash puts on a sleeper as Mankind has taken off his mask. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and Mankind stands up on the steps. Some right hands put the challengers down and a DDT gets two on Crash. Hardcore dives into a Rock Bottom but HHH comes in and Pedigrees Rock with Crash distracting the referee, giving Hardcore the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and was much more about the angle than anything else. This also gets the Tag Team Titles back down to earth as there’s almost no way Rock and Mankind could lose to any regular team when they’re on the same page. Not a good match or anything but the energy was there.

Holly would have some regular matches in the next year, including this one from Raw, June 5, 2000.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq

It’s a brawl to start of course with Faarooq pounding Holly down and getting two off a shoulder block. Holly is sent to the floor but referee Teddy Long holds Faarooq back. A clothesline gets two more for Faarooq back inside but he doesn’t seem too hurried to pin Holly. They head back outside with Holly being whipped into the barricade, followed by more standing around. Back in and Holly escapes the Dominator and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin. Nothing again here.

Here’s a higher profile six man tag from June 4, 2001 on Raw.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies/Kurt Angle

Six man tag here. Hardcore and Kurt have a quick argument due to the whole severely broken arm Kurt gave Hardcore a few years ago. D-Von and Hardcore start but Spike comes in before there’s any contract. Kurt wants to come in but gets decked quickly and it’s back to D-Von, giving us two tags before there was any contact between the legal men. We get going and D-Von hits a powerslam for two.

The fans want tables but that would be a DQ here, so do they want the Dudleys to lose? Actually who are the faces here? The Dudleys want to put Molly through a table which is hardly a good guy action. Hardcore beats on Spike for a bit, including the punt to the “abdomen”. Off to Crash for such a short time that I didn’t see him do anything. Back to Hardcore who hits a suplex for two.

Crash comes in and there’s a distinct lack of Kurt in this, which I think is the point. Spike manages a tag to Bubba but the fans miss it. Kurt does get in and Spike GOES OFF, until Hardcore gets in a shot and Spike gets killed by a German. Spike blocks a superplex and hits a double stomp off the middle rope.

Double tag brings in Bubba and Hardcore and a Bubba Bomb puts him down. Crash takes a Samoan Drop and Hardcore takes a Doomsday Device. Kurt pops in for a German on Bubba but the moonsault misses. Hey Kurt. WHAT’S UP??? Bubba calls for a table but it’s a 3D to Crash instead. A quick Angle Slam pins Bubba though.

Rating: C. Again this feud is just kind of fun. There’s no main event or title implications to it but the feud works very well. It’s well done and the feud makes perfect sense. For some reason, that just can’t be done today. It seems that everything has to be part of a bigger purpose and a bigger story. Nothing can be a small and self contained story anymore.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit here as Holly wouldn’t do anything in 2002 but Brock Lesnar would break his neck late in the year, putting Holly out for over a year. He would return wanting revenge though, earning him a WWE Title shot at the 2004 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

Holly would come back down to earth after this and do almost nothing for the rest of the year. He would form a few tag teams over the next year, including one with Charlie Haas. The pair would get a Smackdown Tag Team Title shot at Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

MNM have the belts here of course. Melina runs her mouth and yet says nothing at all. Amazing how so many of the Divas do that. Why in the world are Holly and Haas teaming together? Oh that’s right: the tag division was atrocious at this point. As in worse than it is today. Nitro (Morrison) vs. Haas to start us off. Key lock by Nitro and Haas is like “boy are you trying to wrestle me” and sends him to the floor.

Arm work by Haas including a HARD arm drag. Off to Holly vs. Mercury now. Oh dear this is going to be bad. Holly gets his one move, the dropkick, for two. Allegedly low blow pops the crowd a bit but Mercury gets a hard chop to take over. Scratch the taking over part as they’re going to chop it out a bit. Alabama Slam is set up but Haas distracts the referee for some reason, allowing Nitro to kick Holly and shift momentum.

Nitro hammers away on Holly and I wonder how Holly feels that his student is 10x the star that Holly ever was. Mercury back in and this is more or less shouting WE SHOULD BE ON SMACKDOWN! Chinlock goes on to waste some time. Holly manages to get a full nelson slam and…..and….my goodness it’s a HOLLY chant! Jesse Ventura must have poisoned this crowd and taken over their heads. That has to be on the next season of Conspiracy Theory.

Haas comes in and clears house, sending both guys to the floor and hitting a big dive to take both of them out. Melina tries to trip up Haas but she gets sent to the floor. Haas cleans house but can’t get an exploder suplex. Haas has the pin but the referee is distracted. Holly apparently stepped out for doughnuts or something as MNM hits the Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Considering who was in there, this was a miracle. The crowd was INTO this, despite it being more or less an extended TV match. Haas and Holly would of course never team again but hey I can let that slide. At one point Tatanka and Matt Hardy were a team. Are you starting to see how bad this division was? Anyway, shockingly good match here and a hot crowd on top of that.

Holly would head to ECW as one of the top heels the following year. His major feud was with Rob Van Dam, including this Extreme Rules match from ECW on September 26, 2006.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

This run would actually get him an ECW Title shot at December to Dismember.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. It’s a shame that he didn’t have a freaking chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in the MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had freaking TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU KIDDINS ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just freaking dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

After a few more months on ECW, it was back to Raw for a feud with rookie Cody Rhodes. Then they hooked up and got a Tag Team Title shot because that’s how wrestling works. From Raw, December 10, 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.

We’ll wrap it up with Holly’s one night only TNA appearance at….well at One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2.

Aces and 8’s vs. James Storm/Magnus/???

It’s Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm’s surprise partner: Bob “Hardcore” Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He’s in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it’s off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they’ve been for almost anything tonight.

Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit’s ribs before it’s off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it’s back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.

Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It’s off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.

A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon’s arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.

Rating: C. This was nothing of note and I don’t think anyone bought Storm as being in any danger at all. Hardcore Holly as a surprise makes sense on a show like this but he’s a fifty year old man who never meant much of anything in the first place. This was by far and away the second best match of the night so far.

Hardcore Holly is a guy that was around forever and never got that high up the card, but he was good in his role. He was able to have a watchable match and had an awesome dropkick. It helped that he was easy to hate and looked like a tough guy. You can’t be in the WWE for fifteen years and not be someone worth keeping around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 3, 2014
Location: Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

As usual, things are changing in TNA. After last week, Kurt Angle is the new TNA boss, which means it’s Angle vs. Dixie now which is far better than Dixie vs. MVP. That being said, MVP still has power due to owning part of the company but he doesn’t have onscreen authority. In other words, things are overcomplicated and another version of the exact same idea TNA has been trying for years. Also Lashley defends against Eric Young tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle becoming the new boss last week.

Here’s Angle to open things up. He welcomes us to the Red White and Blue Throwdown, but first of all he has a special announcement. Kurt invites Earl Hebner out here and reinstates him to right one of MVP’s wrongs. Angle reads the card off a piece of paper before Samoa Joe cuts him off.

Joe says that Angle is here to save us with his honor but Joe doesn’t buy it. When is Angle going to give himself a title match? Joe thinks it’s when the knee is healed. Angle claims that Joe has been lazy lately but Joe goes on a rant about paying his dues while Angle was in learjets and limousines. If Angle hasn’t heard, Joe is pro wrestling and Angle should be careful what he wishes for.

Kenny King beats up Bobby Roode in the back.

After a break, Angle checks on Roode. Bobby isn’t mad at Angle because he wouldn’t be here without Kurt. Roode wants a match with MVP after this. Angle says come with him.

Tag Team Titles: Menagerie vs. Wolves vs. BroMans

The Wolves are defending and the Menagerie is the Freak and Knux. It’s a brawl to start with the Menagerie cleaning house. They LAUNCH DJZ over the top onto everyone else at ringside. Back in and the Freak suplexes both Wolves at the same time but Jesse tags himself in to work on Eddie. Jesse works on the arm before bringing in DJZ for a Hart Attack. DJZ is no Robbie though as it only gets two, allowing Eddie to hurricanrana both of them down at the same time. A hot tag brings in Davey who sends the Menagerie into each other. Davey throws Jesse into the kick from Eddie for the pin to retain at 4:18.

Rating: C. Nice and fun match here with all three teams looking decent. The Freak as the mindless muscle is the right idea for him as his singles pushes haven’t worked at all. The Wolves need opponents so putting them against two teams at once isn’t the best idea in the world. Still though, not bad.

Roode yells at MVP but MVP can’t fight due to the knee injury. Kenny King is there and gets yelled at as well, but Angle says it’s in the ring in a street fight.

Bobby Roode vs. Kenny King

MVP tries to come out but Angle ejects him. Roode, sporting a bad shoulder from the earlier attack, jumps King in the aisle before the bell. They fight into the stands and then backstage with Roode being sent into a wall and covered in garbage. King is thrown off a low balcony before coming back as they head down to ringside. Roode backdrops King over the barricade and into ringside. King nails him with a chair and throws him inside for a cover as the bell rings. A snap suplex gets two more and King hammers away, but Roode comes back with the Roode Bomb onto the chair for the pin at 1:58.

Ethan Carter III says there is no way Bully Ray will put him or his aunt through a table.

Roode says Angle gave him exactly what he needed, but MVP and Lashley are next.

Austin Aries is with Angle and asks him for a rematch for the X Division Title. Angle grants the request even though he knows it’s for Option C at Destination X. Kurt wants to face Aries some day and Austin likes the idea.

Brittany, clad in red white and blue, calls out Madison to settle all this. Madison says she’ll fight if need be but Brittany wants to apologize instead. She’s sorry this got so out of hand and that she just respects Madison. Rayne says she’s glad Brittany learned something and knows how hard it can be to navigate the locker room as the new girl. They shake hands and Brittany says never meet your heroes because they’ll always disappoint you. She lays Madison out and sends her into the post before hitting a reverse DDT on the floor.

Bully Ray yells about Ethan Carter needing a bunch of help to win the Texas Death match. Tonight, Ethan goes through a table.

MVP says Eric Young’s heart won’t help him against Lashley.

Bully Ray vs. Ethan Carter III

Tables match. Ray hammers away to start and takes it to the floor where he rams Ethan into various objects. Back in and Bully does the Flip Flop and Fly before calling for a table. He takes his sweet time though, allowing Ethan to nail him with a clothesline. Carter hammers away and gets in some shots with Ray’s chain. He drives in right hands in the corner but Ray grabs him for a powerbomb. Spud comes in for a low blow and some double teaming, but Rhyno returns and Gores….Bully, allowing Ethan to chokeslam Ray through the table for the win at 7:08.

Rating: C-. This was all for the angle instead of the match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a sign of the return of the ECW guys because a company that went out of business thirteen years ago certainly needs another reunion right? I’m always liked Rhyno though so this isn’t the worst thing in the world. Dixie’s team needed another member anyway.

Eric Young tells Roode he doesn’t care about what the paper says. He’s ready for Lashley.

We recap the Samuel Shaw story. He’s been released to Gunner’s supervision. Shaw is back at the arena and sounds nervous but sane. They run into Anderson and Ken isn’t pleased. Gunner says give him another chance and goes into his story about his friend with PTSD, because TNA thinks post traumatic stress disorder and being an insane stalker are the same thing. Anderson says if Shaw has changed, he can talk to someone else. They go find Christy and Shaw apologizes. Christy and Anderson don’t seem convinced, even though Shaw sounded both sincere and sane.

Velvet is all over referee Stiffler who will be refereeing Angelina’s match tonight. Sex is implied if he calls things her way.

Angle tells Stiffler that he isn’t refereeing because it makes TNA look bad.

Knux tells the Menagerie that this is wrestling and not the carnival. Someone wants their money. Knux and Rebel look worried.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Love is defending but Brian Hebner is refereeing. They quickly head outside where Angelina distracts the referee so Sky can post Gail. A hard clothesline gives the champion a near fall and Kim is tied up in the Tree of Woe. Velvet snaps Gail’s throat across the top rope, earning her an ejection. Gail comes back with elbows and shoulders followed by a missile dropkick for two. Kim goes up but gets caught with a Botox Injection to knock her out to the floor. Love breaks up the count because she wants a pin but Kim is up at two. Eat Defeat out of nowhere gives Gail the title back at 6:02.

Rating: D+. So Gail is champion again. How exactly does this change anything at all? It feels like these two have traded the title about a dozen times now and each reign is less interesting than the previous one. This division is so creatively bankrupt and they just need something, ANYTHING, new at this point.

Angle makes a 20 man battle royal for the #1 contendership to the World Title for next week.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

Lashley is defending. MVP is at ringside so Roode comes out to even the odds. MVP gets caught interfering almost right at the bell so he and Roode are both ejected. Lashley runs Young over and absorbs some right hands before knocking Eric to the floor. Young is holding his ankle and the champion goes after the injury like a smart villain should. Back in and we get a half crab followed by a DDT on the ankle. Eric comes back with a dropkick and, after fighting Lashley off, drops the top rope elbow for two. The leg goes out on a piledriver attempt and there’s the Dominator powerslam. A spear retains Lashley’s title at 7:00.

Rating: C-. This was fine for what it was. It knocks Young out of the main event scene after a decent and surprising run as Lashley gets a clean and dominant win. It would seem like we’re headed towards Lashley vs. Roode at Bound For Glory and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not a great match but for a title rematch it did its job.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad. Nothing on here really stands out but it did a good enough job of advancing the stories. The New York tapings seem like the real treat coming up but this was a nice episode to bridge the gap. Nothing really significant happened, but the lack of Dixie or any heel authority figure for that matter is such a nice break. The show wasn’t great but more importantly it wasn’t infuriating. That’s a big step in the right direction.

Results
Wolves b. Menagerie and BroMans – Kick to the chest to Jesse
Bobby Roode b. Kenny King – Roode Bomb
Ethan Carter III b. Bully Ray – Chokeslam through the table
Gail Kim b. Angelina Love – Eat Defeat
Bobby Lashley b. Eric Young – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6