Impact Wrestling – May 22, 2015 (International Impact): Oh Yeah They Knew
Impact Wrestling Date: May 22, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
So since Destination America basically threw up a middle finger at TNA on Memorial Day weekend, there was no new episode aired on Friday May 22. However, there was a show airing internationally which has since come online. This is a few weeks old but here it is for the sake of completeness. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Hardys having to vacate the Tag Team Titles due to Jeff breaking his leg in a motocross accident, setting up the best of five series between the Dirty Heels and the Wolves.
D’Angelo Dinero is brought out for commentary. Granted that doesn’t mean much here as the only version I could find was in French.
Mandrews vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Argos vs. Rockstar Spud
Elimination match with no tags because that’s what the X-Division consists of these days. Spud starts fast and cleans house as Steve sits in the corner holding a monkey. Tigre dives over the top to take Manik out before Steve intentionally dives onto no one. He’s crazy you see. Mandrews sends Argos to the apron for a crash onto everyone, leaving Mandrews to hit a great looking shooting star onto the pile.
Back in and Manik pulls Steve out of the way of another Madrews shooting star (which would have missed by three feet anyway), setting up a rollup to get rid of Mandrews. Steve has silly string and clotheslines Manik in the corner, setting up a Cannonball for two. Wait….now there are tags? After that huge mess and insanity they have tags now??? Argos comes in for more clotheslines to Manik, followed by a reverse Shell Shock from Tigre for two. It’s strange to not hear the commentary as there’s far less to make fun of.
Steve comes back in to rip at Tigre’s mask, earning him a kick to the back of the head. Argos runs back in for a gorilla press gutbuster to eliminate Steve. It’s Argos vs. Spud now with Tigre coming in to double team the Rockstar. Tigre goes up top for a kind of top rope seated senton low blow for two and we take a break. Back with Argos hitting a running hurricanrana on Manik as we see Tigre being eliminated during the break to get us down to three.
Spud dropkicks Manik down and hits the Underdog on Argos for an elimination, leaving Spud vs. Manik. They slug it out with Spud getting the better of it with a bunch of punches and some running forearms. The Underdog is broken up and Manik gets two off his tiger suplex into a gutbuster. The same sequence sees Spud counter the gutbuster into a rollup for a near fall, followed by an Underdog from the apron to the ring for the pin at 15:23.
Rating: C. Well, you had six guys, they did moves to each other for fifteen minutes, and one of them didn’t get pinned. That’s what the X-Division has become: meaningless matches with someone coming out on top and no real reason to care about most of them. Other than Spud, these guys are almost interchangeable as far as levels of interest, so why should I care that he beat all of them?
Long recap of the BroMans rise and eventual split. It’s clear that they’re filling a lot of time.
Jesse arrives (sans shirt of course) and says he beat up Robbie because he’s better. Robbie got on a reality TV show after Jesse did so Robbie should be thanking him for his entire career. Robbie can be the Bro, but Jesse will be the Man.
Spud says that’s one step closer to getting the X-Division Title back. The people are with him, not Kenny King.
Jesse Godderz vs. DJZ
Before the match, Jesse says he’s the superstar and the reason they won the Tag Team Titles. He knows he and Zema are supposed to fight, but it would be the same ending that Robbie E. suffered. Jesse isn’t losing to a nobody. A serious DJZ comes out and says he was the X-Division Champion before the BroMans and Jesse was nothing. That’s enough to start the fight with DJZ hitting a quick running hurricanrana to send Jesse outside. A jawbreaker staggers Jesse (you might even say it stuns him) and it’s all DJZ so far.
Jesse comes back with a great dropkick and slaps on an armbar of all things. That goes as far as an armbar is going to go when your name isn’t Alberto and Jesse hot shots him down. DJZ kicks away what appeared to be a Figure Four and hits a Thesz press, only to get stomped back down. A Boston crab of all things makes DJZ give up.
Rating: D+. Jesse is trying and playing a decent heel, but at the end of the day he’s a pretty boy bodybuilder using a Boston crab as his big finisher. That’s not going to get him very far, but this is better than anything else he’s ever done as a singles guy. Robbie E. coming back for a big showdown could be entertaining though.
Magnus says this is about James Storm.
Video on Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle with Young being…….oh you know it by now.
Video on James Storm manipulating Mickie James for reasons that aren’t clear yet aside from he’s evil. Mickie’s fiance Magnus isn’t cool with this. He’ll be a lot less cool with it when he shoves her onto train tracks.
Magnus comes out for a match but says he has to deal with James Storm messing with his family, plus Storm’s Revolution. A few weeks back, Khoya hit him with a big piece of wood. Maybe that’s overcompensating for a smaller piece of wood?
Magnus vs. Khoya
Magnus stomps him down to start and they head outside with Khoya being sent into the barricade. A suplex gets some two counts and for no apparent reason, Magnus puts the referee on top of Khoya and counts two more. Well of course he does. We take a break and come back with Magnus throwing him outside again as we wait for the screw up so Khoya can take over and Magnus can make the comeback.
Magnus swings Khoya’s stick but hits the post and hurts his hands, allowing Khoya to take over. Ah there it is. Khoya stomps away in the corner and clotheslines Magnus down for no cover. A corner splash misses though and Magnus starts his comeback with clotheslines followed by the top rope elbow. A pair of Spine Shakers end Khoya at 9:39.
Rating: D+. Just an extended squash here which is how you should build towards a match like Storm vs. Magnus. It wasn’t anything interesting and Magnus still isn’t worth watching in the ring, but at least he got a win here to give him some momentum before the Slammiversary match.
Bram says he’s crazy and dangerous and he has no remorse. He’s violent you see and he’s coming for Bobby Roode.
Recap of the Tag Team Title best of five series.
Dollhouse video, focusing on their war with Gail Kim and Awesome Kong. The camera slowly zooming in on Taryn’s face as Kong’s music played was a great touch.
Rebel vs. Marti Belle
Before the match, Marti says it can still be playtime even though Taryn isn’t here. Rebel is offered a chance to leave but she won’t say anything. Finally she calls the Dollhouse the Skank House and slaps Jade in the face to get things going. Marti is knocked into Jade’s arms but a baseball slide puts them both down. Jade gets in some cheap shots as Marti gets a chair because the referee is dumb enough to fall for this.
They finally get inside with Marti in control and clotheslining Rebel down to break up a comeback. Rebel scores with a slam and a headscissors, but instead of turning Marti over she pulls her into the back of the trunks for a “comedy” bit. Another Jade distraction lets Marti hit a double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 3:16.
Rating: D. Nothing special here but it’s nice to see that Marti can work a match to go along with her stable mates. It’s a boring match though, partially due to Rebel being little more than a model who they trained to take some bumps. Dull stuff here as you can see the big divide between the top and bottom tiers of Knockouts.
Kenny King isn’t worried about Rockstar Spud and the X-Division Title.
X-Division Title: Mica vs. Kenny King
Oh so King is champion here. I didn’t actually know coming into this. King bails to start but Mica catches him with some right hands to knock the champ outside. Back in and an armbar slows Mica down but he comes back with a slam for two. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far. Mica’s ram into the buckle is countered with King snapping his throat across the ropes before firing some right hands into the face. A spinning kick to the face gets two on Mica but he comes back with a Samoan drop for two more. That’s it for him though as the Royal Flush retains King’s title at 6:40.
Rating: D+. I just do not care about this feud whether there’s a title involved or not. King is fine as the X-Division Champion but Mica and Drake are so dull and uninteresting that there’s almost no way to care about any of them. The fact that the match was dull made it even worse.
Bobby Roode was the World Champion at wrestling but he’s capable of fighting against someone like Bram.
Campaign ad for Ethan Carter III for World Champion. Him winning the title will bring down unemployment and help with the millennial problem. Unfortunately this is used to set up Carter vs. Anderson’s boring match.
Bobby Roode vs. Bram
Roode is the clear face here despite being half of the Dirty Heels tag team because TNA doesn’t think these things through. Bobby cranks on the arm to start but Bram keeps going to the ropes. After a breather on the floor, Bobby knocks him right back to the floor as they’re in first gear so far. Back from a break with the Blockbuster getting two on Bram but he rolls outside and posts Bobby to take over.
More brawling offense from Bram on the floor but Roode slugs away back inside. That earns him a hard whip into the buckle for two and a charge into a boot, only to have Bram charge into a spinebuster. There’s the Roode Bomb but Bram rolls to the floor instead of getting covered, landing in front of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bag. Roode posts him but has to avoid the referee back inside, earning him a low blow and a handful of trunks to give Bram the pin at 14:05.
Rating: C. Totally average main event here with Roode dominating most of the match and then losing to a fluke at the end. That being said, I like the idea of having Bram get a main event win, even if the next few weeks have shown us that this changed nothing and was really just a match.
Overall Rating: D+. Oh yeah they knew no one was going to watch this show. It was basically a few steps ahead of a One Night Only show, which means you could miss the show and not lose a bit of anything. Nothing show here with a few watchable matches sprinkled throughout. In other words: standard Impact.
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TNA One Night Only – Hardcore Justice 4: That Stupid Crowd
Hardcore Justice 4 Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
This is one of the shows that has been the definition of hit and miss. When you just let people do hardcore violence, it can make for some entertaining matches. However, when you stop caring and just let them be goofy, it turns into a huge mess that makes no sense and is more embarrassing than anything else. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is just a quick package of clips of what’s coming later. This is extreme you might say.
Wolves vs. Manik/Geat Sanada
Ladder match. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with the Wolves being beaten out to the floor, sending the Revolution off to get the ladders early on. Davey gets back in to kick the ladder into the Revolution’s faces but their double suicide dive is countered with a ladder smash. Back up and the Wolves do their toss into a kick to the chest spot followed by a German suplex to send Sanada into the ladder.
Manik throws Edwards into the air to have him crash down onto the boots before finally setting up a ladder. Everyone but Manik goes to the floor so Davey dives back in for the save. Davey can’t go up quickly because of his back so Manik pulls out an orange ladder for a change of pace (Matthews: “TAZ IS BEHIND THE LADDERS!”) but it winds up bridged in between the ropes and the standing ladder. Manik and Davey fight on the ladder until Eddie pulls Manik down.
That goes badly for Eddie as Manik springboards back up to the ladder before hitting a wicked sunset powerbomb to drive Davey into the ladder. Naturally the TNA fans barely react to a huge spot. A delayed THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up and stops in the span of ten seconds. Sanada hits a standing moonsault on Eddie before they both head up, only to have Sanada bust out the mist.
Davey shoves the ladder over though and actually does something smart by using his wrist tape to clean his partner’s eyes. The Revolution gets their heads caught in the ladder so Eddie can hit a top rope double stomp for another spot that deserves a better reaction. The Wolves go up and get the contract, which apparently is for a future Tag Team Title shot.
Rating: B-. It’s a tag team ladder match with four guys who know how to work this style. Unfortunately they’re in front of a bored crowd who doesn’t seem interested in cheering and only had about ten minutes to work with here. Good match here and for some reason I have a feeling this show just hit its peak.
Drew Galloway is fired up for his pipe on a pole match against Kenny King. There’s no mention of the Rising here because they didn’t exist when this was filmed. I like that better though as Drew has more than enough charisma to carry a match.
Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King
Pipe on a Pole. The fans are fired up for Drew so both guys immediately go for the pipe. Why not let someone get it and nail them on the way down to grab it instead of making the save? Drew gets two off a suplex, making the pipe worthless/optional. King speeds things up and collides with Drew to knock both guys outside in a big crash. It’s Galloway taking over with the fans holding King so Drew can throw chops. One of the fans hands Drew a rubber chicken to beat on King, because a STEEL PIPE is too lame.
King no sells the rubber chicken (just go with it and it’ll end faster) and jumps to the apron and spins around for a cannonball to drop Drew. They finally remember the whole pipe thing and go after it with Drew hammering King down and nailing a middle rope Russian legsweep. A German suplex drops Kenny again and a middle rope elbow gets two. King gets back up and hits a spin kick to bring Drew down from the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets another near fall. Drew still can’t get the pipe as King knocks him into the Tree of Woe. King FINALLY gets the pipe but walks into a running boot to the face for the pin.
Rating: F. For a match it was fine but the pipe could have been anything from a fight in the crowd to a good looking woman to A RUBBER CHICKEN BEING SOLD IN A WRESTLING MATCH. It was a distraction instead of anything important and that’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling, making gimmick matches a huge waste of time. The rubber chicken brings this down even further.
Rockstar Spud gives a great promo about the scar Ethan Carter put on his forehead. Tonight isn’t about pinning Carter and that’s the way Spud wants it, because tonight is about making Carter bleed.
Gunner vs. Eric Young
Tables match which is the result of Young issuing an open challenge. JB: “You can see the crazy in his eyes.” No, you can’t Borash. Gunner punches him to the floor to start and rams Eric into the apron. Young sends him into the barricade and apron like a CRAZY man but Gunner chops him down and hits a headbutt off the steps. Fans: “USE THE CHICKEN!”
Instead they get a table but Eric fights out of a suplex and actually takes it back inside for more brawling. Gunner suplexes him right back to the floor and IT’S CHICKEN TIME! JB: “He’s choking him with the chicken!” We get another table set up at ringside but Eric blocks the German from the apron. Blast it why can’t we see him knocked senseless? Gunner sets up table #3 but actually puts this one inside for a change.
Eric gets in a shot to put Gunner down though and loads up a whip into the corner. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” I like these people! Gunner is sent throat first into the ropes but is still able to break up the top rope elbow. A superplex plants Eric and Gunner hits something like a middle rope palm strike. They head to the apron, right above a table, but Gunner can’t hit a piledriver. Instead it’s a low blow from Young and a piledriver puts Gunner through the table for the win.
Rating: D+. This was still nothing good but it was MILES better than the pipe match. Young still sucks (just listening to the fans you see) and Gunner continues to be a guy just floating around on the roster. This wasn’t much of a tables match, but you get what you pay for on a show like this. Cool finisher though.
Package on Havok destroying Gail Kim over and over, eventually taking the title from her.
Gail Kim vs. Havok
Street fight. Gail rolls away from the monster to start and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Havok comes back with a shot of her own before having to block a kendo stick shot. It’s Havok getting in the first shot to Gail’s ribs before tying her in the Tree of Woe for even more ribs shots. Off to a standard choke instead before Havok lifts her up with a full nelson. Gail has to dropkick a trashcan back into Havok’s face and dives off the apron to take her down again.
Back in and Havok throws her into a chair in the corner, followed by a running knee to the face. Gail is fast enough to send her face first into the chair as well before hammering away in the corner. A spinning high cross body gets two for Kim but since it’s just a cross body, Havok kicks the chair into her face for two and loads up the chokeslam. Gail counters into a DDT on the chair for a big smash, but that’s too good of a finish so here’s Eat Defeat for the pin instead.
Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the right ending, even though Havok has just disappeared from the face of the earth since Kong returned. I still find Gail overrated, but she’s still more than good enough to carry a match like this. Good stuff here and one of the better matches of the night.
The Wolves may be banged up and half blind, but they’re going to Sizzler!
Abyss vs. Matt Hardy
Monster’s Ball of course, but the interesting thing is Christy introducing Abyss as the Swamp Suplex Machine, which has to be a rib of some sort. Matt gets one of the loudest chants of the night but Abyss easily shoves him around to start. They head outside with the fans wanting the chicken but having to settle for right hands from Hardy. It’s time for a barbed wire table with Abyss getting the better of it and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.
A chokeslam is blocked so Matt throws in a trashcan full of weapons and whips out a cheese grater. After Abyss gets done wedging a chair in the corner, he turns around to feel a stepladder to the ribs. The fans actually chant for Abyss as he takes Matt over with a suplex, only to have Matt crotch him with the ladder. Hardy follows it up by using the chair as a golf club to drive the ladder even further in.
Abyss pops up with something made of metal to knock Hardy off the top, driving her into the barbed wire table for the match’s big spot. We get the required thumb tacks but Matt uses the cheese grater to the crotch for the save. You don’t do that even to a monster so he throws Matt into the chair in the corner.
The tacks are spread out but Matt drives him face first with the Twist of Fate, only to have his own back covered in tacks as well. The busted barbed wire table is brought back in as Matt basically no sells the tacks, only to eat an elbow to the jaw. It’s Janice time but of course it misses, allowing Matt to spear him through the barbed wire table. A Twist of Fate onto the chair gives Matt the pin.
Rating: C-. STOP HAVING THIS MATCH! They do the exact same spots with the exact same weapons, usually with the same ending and one of the same people in the match every single time. Just stop doing this match over and over again so many times, as it stopped being interesting a long time ago. Let it build up instead of just doing the same thing over and over and stop adding it in like a side salad. Let it be the main course for a change with a fresh recipe. Did I mention I haven’t had dinner yet?
James Storm says he’ll win the hardcore battle royal because he has the Revolution behind him.
Gauntlet Match
What would a One Nigh Only be without one of these? Two minute intervals and everyone has weapons. Robbie E. is in at #1 with a selfie stick and Crazzy Steve brings a bag of something. Robbie bails to the floor to start and attacks a distracted Steve from behind. Steve comes back and empties the bag to reveal…..Gummy Bears. Oh geez here we go. Robbie eats one and gets sick, setting up a chokeslam onto the Bears.
Jesse Godderz is in at #3 (OH THE SHOCK!) with a baseball bat (Matthews: “Perhaps left over from an icon?”) to try and make this serious. Steve avoids being eliminated as JB worries about the sugary goodness of the Gummy Bears. Chris Melendez is in at #4 with a nightstick, which is somehow a very welcome sight. That says a lot as Melendez is a very dull guy, but he’s better than the Gummy Bears and selfie stick.
The BroMans take over and it’s Samuel Shaw in at #5 with a wire. Nothing happens for now so it’s Khoya with a Revolution flag in at #6 as we’re still waiting on our first elimination. Khoya cleans house, including with a double clothesline to put the BroMans down. It’s rubber chicken time again (ERG!) with Steve getting in a few shots on most of the people until Crimson of all people is in at #7 (to almost no reaction from the announcers) with a trashcan lid.
Crimson and Khoya stare each other down but Shaw chokes Crimson down with the wire. Steve hits Robbie low with the chicken as there are WAY too many people in the ring at the moment. Robbie throws the chicken out but Tyrus is in at #8 with a chain, hopefully to eliminate some people. Robbie and Melendez are quickly tossed and Tyrus hammers away on Jesse in the corner.
Knux is in at #9 with a cane but it’s a cross body to put Tyrus down. Jesse is tossed and the freaking chicken is brought back in. Good grief let the stupid idea die already. James Storm and his noose with cowbell are in at #10 to hopefully make this a bit more serious. Storm is content to sit in a chair at ringside as Shaw chokes Crimson, only to have both guys fall out to the floor for a double elimination. DJZ is in at #11 with his bottle of hairspray because….yeah. Matthews loses his mind when he sees Storm’s rope wrapped around the chicken.
Tyrus hammers away in the corner and Mr. Anderson is in at #12, giving us a final group of Steve, Khoya, Tyrus, Knux, Storm, DJZ and Anderson. Mr. actually takes the mic off the cord to bring in as his weapon. That’s actually clever, unlike EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS MATCH. Anderson pounds on Tyrus in the corner and hammers away on everyone with the mic but gets taken down by Steve of all people.
Steve sprays hairspray in DJZ’s eyes for an elimination but gets tossed by Khoya. Knux follows him out and we’re down to four. Khoya misses a charge and is tossed out, leaving us with Tyrus, Anderson and Storm. The Last Call hits Tyrus by mistake and Anderson throws him over the top. Tyrus actually tries to skin the cat but it goes as well as you would expect. Storm throws a distracted Anderson out a few seconds later for the win.
Rating: F. I’d like to remind you that 95% of this match took place with the ring covered in Gummy Bears. Combine that with the chicken gag that WILL NOT JUST FREAKING STOP and I think you get why this was a nightmare to sit through. On top of that, it was a poorly run gauntlet with way too many people in the ring at the same time for the majority of the match.
Anderson Mic Checks Storm post match and eats some Gummy Bears. And puts some of them down Storm’s tights. I hate this show. Like, a lot.
Ethan Carter III brags about everything he’s put Spud through and says tonight is going to be the same all over again.
Long package on the history of Spud vs. Carter. That’s still a great story.
Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud
First blood and now with 100% fewer Gummy Bears. Carter talks about how no one makes him bleed before the match, but gets cut off by a CHICKEN’S BETTER chant. Spud comes out and has to hear another recap of the feud. Carter offers him a chance to leave but Spud turns to face him and nails Carter in the head with the mic to get things going. They head outside with Spud going after the face but stopping for his chicken pilgrimage.
Thankfully he throws it away and sends Carter into the post instead. Back inside with Carter taking over by sending Spud into the buckle a few times and dropping an elbow to the face. The freaking chicken gets another chant so Carter gives them a big sarcastic thumbs up. With Carter taking a breather, Spud removes the covering from the bolt holding the ring together.
Carter’s splash is sidestepped and his head hits the buckle, which Josh says is the actual turnbuckle. He knows this due to building a ring as a kid and having to learn all the terms. I know that sounds like the setup for a joke, but that’s actually kind of interesting. Now the fans are asking where’s the chicken. Spud gets all fired up and REMOVES THE BOWTIE to start his comeback with a flurry of punches. The Underdog connects and Carter rolls to the floor for a breather.
That sets up a huge flip dive from Spud as Carter is reeling. Cue Tyrus so Spud grabs a chair but Ethan breaks up another Underdog attempt. The referee gets bumped and Carter takes off the brace (fans: “CHICKEN KILLER!”), only to have Spud take it away and nail Carter in the mouth, drawing blood. Tyrus is quickly there with a towel to clean it up and a chain to help cheat and the match ends exactly as you would expect it to.
Rating: C-. Someone find whoever brought in that stupid chicken and cover them in batter. That thing stopped being funny about ten seconds after it was brought in and these fans have chanted for it for over an hour and a half. I know you didn’t pay to get in, but Heaven forbid you stop acting like idiots for five minutes so people can enjoy the show. And yes, I know how lame that sounds.
Tommy Dreamer says he’s bled in cages before but you can ask Raven and the Eliminators how tough he is inside the steel. Or we could ask someone who has actually been in a cage with you in the last, oh, fifteen years or so. I’m fine with Dreamer on a hardcore show. I get annoyed when they wedge hardcore in for the sake of a cheap nostalgia pop. In other words: do it naturally instead of forcing everything.
Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer
In a cage of course. The brawl starts on the floor before the bell and Dreamer puts on a rainbow mohawk wig while drinking a Coke. Well at least it’s not the chicken. Bram crotches Dreamer on the barricade but Tommy sends him into the cage door and then inside the cage to finally draw the opening bell. To further the stupidity of this show, the announcers don’t know how the match is going to end, but they think the match could spill outside the cage.
Bram does just that so he can slam the door on Tommy’s head, confusing the crowd even more. Back in and Dreamer is sent into the wall before we hit the chinlock. It is a cage match after all so that’s the level of violence you have to expect. Tommy finally comes back with a clothesline and we get a House of Hardcore chant. A bunch of punches set up a Bionic Elbow as the fans tell Dreamer he still has it.
We get a chair brought in because the cage isn’t enough and because we need Tommy to take a drop toehold onto a chair for contractual obligations. There’s the Tree of Woe/chair/dropkick/ECW chant spot. Matthews: “Tommy is always evolving and changing.” In all his years on commentary, Taz never made me laugh as much as that one line did. Dreamer hits the White Russian legsweep as Dreamer is now stealing others’ old spots. The Dreamer DDT (further proving my point) gets two so Tommy just kicks him low. Bram returns the low blow and hits the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair for the pin.
Rating: D+. See, this is the way you use Dreamer: occasionally and only when you have a hardcore show. I’m fine with him coming in for stuff like this (though not for the ECW chants) and putting someone over while getting the crowd going, but keep him off my TV every week.
Bobby Roode is ready for Lashley and can’t wait to continue their feud.
Package on the history between Roode and Lashley, who is still heel here.
Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. Roode drives him into the corner to start but Lashley powers him to the mat. Back up and Lashley gets kicked in the face, setting up the Blockbuster for an early six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a very delayed vertical suplex and Lashley pounds away in the corner. We get one of the few (likely unintentional) clever bits from the crowd all night: “LET’S GO BOBBY/BOBBY SUCKS!” Roode gets caught in a dragon sleeper for a nine but the fans start chanting for the chicken again.
Back up and Roode grabs a sleeper for nine. Thankfully it’s not a long lasting nine as Lashley gets up and plants Roode with a powerslam. More chicken chants take away from Lashley superplexing Roode for a double eight count. Roode grabs a spinebuster but Lashley hits one of his own for seven. Back up and Roode nails a spear followed by the Roode Bomb. That works as well as you would expect before Lashley spears Roode out to the floor. Roode is up at nine and avoids another spear, sending Lashley into the steps. A Roode Bomb on the floor gives Roode the win.
Rating: C. This was fine but totally paint by numbers. Roode and Lashley are capable of having great matches, but there’s only so much they can do in an environment like this one. At least Roode won, which would be nice to see today after all the weeks of putting Eric Young over for a story that isn’t leading anywhere.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was awful. It’s very clear when they’re not trying on these things and it was even clearer than ever here. Making things even worse we had the most annoying crowd I’ve heard in years as they didn’t want to watch the show they were seeing and turned it into a big joke. That got old after about ten seconds so of course they kept going for over an hour. Terrible show that just kept going, though some of the guys were legitimately trying.
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Impact Wrestling – April 17, 2015: The One And Only
Impact Wrestling Date: April 17, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews
Tonight is a one idea show as there will be a full Tag Team Title tournament with four first round matches and the winners advancing to an Ultimate X match for the championships. There may also be some more about Kurt Angle’s World Title, with Eric Young as the next potential challenger due to Angle not pinning him last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a preview of the tournament.
Here are the first round matches:
James Storm/Khoya
Hardys
Low Ki/Kenny King
Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud
Ethan Carter III/Bram
Tigre Uno/Jay Rios
BroMans
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Khoya/James Storm vs. Hardys
The Hardys attack at the bell and it’s a brawl to start. The Revolution gets the better of it with Khoya throwing Jeff around to take over and the fans cheering for Matt. James and Khoya take turns beating on Matt until Storm puts on a chinlock. Khoya gets two off a clothesline but Matt sweeps Storm’s leg and makes the tag off to Jeff. Things speed way up with the legdrop between the legs and basement dropkick to Storm’s face but Jeff has to deal with an interfering Khoya. That goes badly for the Revolution as Storm Last Calls Khoya by mistake, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 5:40.
Rating: C-. This was fine but I’m not wild on either team. The Revolution stopped being interesting months ago and the fact that the Tag Team Titles is the best they can do at this point tells you everything you need to do know about them. They just don’t have anything to do and they haven’t since day one. With no direction, there’s no point to the team being around.
Storm beats up Khoya, hopefully signaling the ending of the group.
The Hardys say it’s time to fulfill their destiny. To be associated with better teams and be considered great by proxy instead of doing anything by yourselves?
Eric Young says he should be #1 contender. We get a CRAZY closeup of his CRAZY face to make sure that his CRAZY voice is clearly heard. He’s CRAZY you see.
Here’s Eric Young in a Kurt Angle shirt. He’s not happy because Angle is ducking him for a World Title shot. Young doesn’t care how many people he has to hurt because he wants his shot as #1 contender. This brings out Kurt, who says if Young wants to say something to him, say it to his face.
Young sees him as someone that can be hurt because the title belongs to him. Kurt says the title match is next week but he wants to know why Eric is doing all these things. Young talks about a hole in his spirit after he lost the title. That’s fine with Angle, but he wants the old Eric Young next week. Kurt turns his back and dares Eric to hit him, but Young says he’ll see him next week. This has been another chapter in “Eric Young sucks and has no business in this spot” theater.
The BDC threatens Spud in the back but Anderson comes in for the save.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Rockstar Spud/Mr. Anderson vs. Kenny King/Low Ki
Spud charges in a bit too fast and gets double teamed to start with Low Ki chopping him down. After both BDC members get in some right hands, King stomps Spud in the back to keep him from lunging for a tag. King ducks an enziguri and kicks Spud in the ribs to keep him in trouble but the fans are entirely behind Spud. Ki puts on an abdominal stretch to stay on the bad ribs for some psychology.
The BDC breaks up another hot tag attempt so Anderson comes in with a double clothesline and drags Spud to the corner before getting back on the apron. That makes the hot tag a lot easier and Anderson comes in to clean house. Anderson throws Spud into a hurricanrana to send Ki to the floor and the Underdog plants King, only to have Ki come off the top with the Warrior’s Way to Spud, giving King the pin at 6:50.
Rating: C. Standard tag match here which means it was fine for the most part. They even threw in some basic psychology with the rib work, which is more than you get most of the time. The BDC going in makes more sense as they have the experience together, which is more than enough to take down a makeshift team comprised of an overrated guy in Anderson and a plucky underdog.
Carter says he and Bram will win the titles tonight as a preview for his World Title run. Bram: “I’m going to rip Tigre Uno’s mask off and shove it down his throat!” Carter: “Good! Just make sure we win first.”
MVP and Homicide congratulate Ki and King on the win. Homicide is given the special assignment (RUN! That’s what they told Taz!) of beating up Kurt Angle.
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Jay Rios/Tigre Uno vs. Bram/Ethan Carter III
Rios is a masked man who appeared as a jobber in TNA back in the Jeff Jarrett MMA days. He’s certainly no Essa. Carter and Rios trade wristlocks to start before Tigre comes in for a double dropkick. Carter bails to the floor and Tigre makes the mistake of diving at Tyrus like a schmuck, earning him a World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.
Bram gets in some stomps before Carter throws on a chinlock. A leg dive keeps Tigre from making the hot tag but Bram misses an elbow, allowing for the lukewarm tag to Rios. Jay flips out of a backdrop and hits a springboard into a cutter but Carter uses the arm brace to knock Rios silly, setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering, but Carter tags himself in for the pin at 3:50.
Rating: D. I’m really not a fan of matches like these as they make the show feel even longer than it already does. It helps that they kept it so short but this show really hasn’t done much to make me care about the main event so far. The fact that Bram and Carter are already having issues doesn’t help either.
Kurt Angle says Young has gone from genius to crazy but he wants the old Young back. As for Homicide, he better have good insurance.
Christy Hemme brings out the Knockouts (or at least five of them) to announcer that next week is a night of all Knockouts. Love thinks the night should be all about her because she has the most Knockout Titles of all time. The fans chant for Brooke as Gail goes on her usual rant about how awesome the Knockouts are. Madison cuts her off before the entire building falls asleep and says none of them are the Queen Bee.
Christy tries to calm them down with the offer of a fourway between Brooke, Gail, Madison and Angelina for the #1 contendership. Brooke is WAY too excited about this announcement. There will also be new Knockouts and Taryn defending against Kong. Taryn talks about her passion and how she’ll prove herself next week. Kong comes out and cleans house but Taryn dives onto everyone.
The BroMans seem to have issues with each other but Aries and Roode come in to say they’ll focus on Robbie, who is clearly the better BroMan. Methinks shenanigans are afoot. Robbie leaves and Roode thinks he bought it. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries had to cause friction to beat the BroMans? Really?
Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: BroMans vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
For the fourth match of the night, the good guys attack to start with Robbie getting beaten down by both former World Champions early on. Aries sidesteps an invading Jesse to send him into his partner, setting up the Hennig neck snap for two on Robbie. The BroMans finally get in some offense but get in an argument over who gets to work on Roode. Robbie hooks a chinlock before a clothesline gets two.
Jesse demands a tag and Robbie isn’t too keen on doing as he asks. Roode comes back with a neckbreaker to drop both guys and the hot tag brings in Austin. He’s quickly stopped by Godderz, but Jesse gets a bit too bossy, allowing Roode to break up the BroDown. Aries knocks Jesse outside for a suicide dive, setting up the spinebuster into the 450 from Aries for the pin on Jesse at 5:20.
Rating: C. This was fine for the most part as Roode and Aries work really well together, but again, they needed to put a wedge between the BroMans? Aries continues to be the most polished guy in the company and pretty easily the best guy around, which hopefully leads him back to the World Title scene soon.
The BroMans fight post match with DJZ coming out to try and break it up.
Homicide is beating up Angle in the back. The fight heads into the arena after a break with Angle getting back into it but eating a cutter in the ring. Angle ducks a boot shot and grabs the ankle lock, drawing in the BDC for the group attack. They bring in a chair but the Rising comes out to get rid of everyone but MVP. Eric Young comes out to stop MVP from bashing Angle with the chair but picks it up himself, only to drop it and leave (in a CRAAAAZY manner of course. Because he’s crazy you see).
Video on Ultimate X.
Dollhouse is coming.
Preview for next week’s Knockouts show.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Ethan Carter III/Bram vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode
Ultimate X. Huge brawl to start with the Hardys and Roode/Aries throwing the other four outside. Roode and Aries start taking over with Matthews continuing to call them by their old name of the Dirty Heels. The Hardys are tossed outside as well and we take a break. Back with the BDC and Bram/Carter clearing the ring for a change with Bram and Carter throwing the BDC to the floor. They decide to bring in a ladder but that’s the Hardys game, allowing them to come back in and take over.
The BDC and the Hardys go for the ropes but Tyrus shakes the structure to break it up. Tyrus puts Carter on his shoulders but Aries dropkicks them down before Roode hits the Blockbuster on Bram. Roode gets on Aries’ shoulders but Homicide comes in for the save. Now it’s King and Matt on the ladder and Hardy hooking a Twist of Fate to put everyone down. Matt climbs up again but Ki springboards onto the ladder for the save. As they fight, Jeff climbs up above the X, kicks Ki away and pulls down the belts, while standing on a ladder of course, to win at 12:06.
Rating: B-. So we sat through an hour and a half of qualifying matches to see eight and a half minutes of a ladder match that TNA calls Ultimate X? Eh at least it’s not more Eric Young so I can live with it. This was good enough but the Hardys winning doesn’t do much for me. I know it’s setting up a big match with the Wolves when they get back but this doesn’t do much to change the opinion that the Hardys don’t do much outside of gimmick matches.
Overall Rating: C. This felt like an Impact sized version of One Night Only and if you’ve ever seen one of those, you know how bad that is. The problem here is the title match wasn’t good enough to validate the not very good buildup. Other than that we had Eric Young and the BDC tormenting Angle all night, which is about as dull of a one two punch as I’ve seen in years. It doesn’t help that this show felt like it hit the brakes at 9:45 and crawled all the way to the ending, making this far more dull than bad. One final note: Matthews was actually really solid on his own. It was a very nice surprise.
Results
Hardys b. James Storm/Khoya – Swanton Bomb to Khoya
Kenny King/Low Ki b. Mr. Anderson/Rockstar Spud – King pinned Spud after a Warrior’s Way from Ki
Ethan Carter III/Bram b. Tigre Uno/Jay Rios – Brighter Side of Suffering to Rios
Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. BroMans – 450 to Godderz
Hardys b. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode, Low Ki/Kenny King and Bram/Ethan Carter III – Hardys pulled down the belts
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – April 3, 2015: Pay Per View Without Paying
Impact Wrestling Date: April 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz
We’re still in Orlando and the big story tonight is who gets to be the #1 contender. A large group of people want the shot at Angle but tonight Lashley gets the World Title shot at Kurt Angle. As far as other in ring action goes, tonight we have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in what is being billed as their final showdown. Let’s get to it.
This show is also billed as bell to bell, but it’s not yet clear what that means.
On tap for tonight, Lashley vs. Angle for the title, Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love, Magnus vs. Bram in a falls count anywhere match and Young vs. Roode in a submission match.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
Before the match, Young says all good things must come to an end. Tonight, he says he’s ending Roode’s career and tonight it’s the final chapter for Roode. Matthews says this feud has become like Pacquiao vs. Mayweather. No, no it hasn’t. Roode says he’s already won two matches against Young but now Young wants to be the #1 contender. Tonight, Roode is making sure that this story ends forever. Young promises to make Roode tap, so Roode accepts this as a submission match, even though that was announced earlier in the show.
The fight starts on the floor with Roode getting the better of it but coming back inside to get stomped down. Josh talks about an interview with the referee earlier in the week where he talked about this kind of a match, making the pre-match promo sound even more out of place. They head back outside with Young in control and raking the eyes.
Roode can’t get the Crossface as Young makes it to the ropes, which the announcers cover by saying the referee wasn’t going to call submissions in the ropes despite a lack of disqualifications. Not the best explanation but it’s better than nothing. Back in again and Roode gets kicked in the leg but still catches Eric in the spinebuster. We come back from a break with Roode getting thrown out of the corner and jarring his knee again.
Young throws on a leg bar but Bobby is next to the ropes, which gets a count from the referee. It’s time for Young to get psycho again and bend the knee around the post with something like Bret Hart’s Hartbreaker. The referee breaks it up again and Roode gets back up for a quick Crossface. Young has a bad arm coming in but is able to get to the ropes for the break.
Instead Roode puts on a Boston crab but gets kicked to the floor on the escape. Young sends the knee into the steps again and we hit the figure four inside. Bobby turns it over and the referee is bumped, just as Roode puts on the Crossface to make Young tap. No referee though so Young hits a leg lariat and turns his leg brace around to make the Figure Four hurt even worse, forcing Roode to tap at 16:58. So we’re back to Garvin vs. Valentine from 1990 now?
Rating: B-. Gah of course Young wins because WE MUST PRAISE HIS NAME for being all intense and looking like he’s trying to scare small children. See, he’s really crazy and we have to watch him hurt people, likely because he’s one of the only people they know won’t leave. I’m sick of seeing Young pushed and having him trade wins with Bobby Roode isn’t going to make me care about him.
Here’s Davey Richards with both tag belts. Eddie Edwards follows him out on crutches and it looks like the titles are going to be vacated. Eddie says he’s broken his heel in half and the titles are going to have to be held up as the Wolves can’t defend them. JB asks Davey about a replacement partner but Davey says the Wolves aren’t the Wolves without Eddie so no deal. They’ll be coming for the titles when his foot heals.
Lashley promises to get his title back.
Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim
Love says she flaunts what she has but she’s also a great wrestler. She promises to prove it tonight and blasts Gail in the face at the opening bell. A side slam gets two on Gail as the announcers argue over whether being a champion means you’re the best. Josh says holding the belt means you’re the best, which is what the belt used to mean a long time ago before someone decided they were just props you pass around for fun. They head outside with Gail being sent into the apron but coming back with a Russian legsweep to send Love into them as well.
Both girls beat the count back in and slug it out with Gail taking over and scoring with a missile dropkick for two. Eat Defeat is countered so Gail goes up for a hurricanrana, only to have Love just stand there as Gail crashes. It was supposed to be a powerbomb counter I think but Love didn’t actually use her arms. The Botox Injection gets two as Gail gets her foot on the ropes. Another attempt hits the ropes though and Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 6:49.
Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of either of these girls and this didn’t make me care much more. Gail in the title scene has been done so many times that it’s really hard to care, but I have a feeling they’re setting up another Kong vs. Kim match because this company LOVES to recap stuff that was cool ten years ago.
The cast of a ghost hunting show goes to the Revolution’s ranch. Storm asks them to see if an old friend of his is still haunting a barn so the cast investigates. They think there might have been a murder. More on this later.
We recap Bram vs. Magnus, with Magnus wanting to be a family man and Bram wanting him to be back like his old self again. Bram has gone insane over it and attacked Magnus over and over, eventually bringing Magnus’ girlfriend Mickie James into it.
Magnus vs. Bram
Falls count anywhere. Magnus takes it right to the floor to start and sends Bram into the barricade. They head up to the stage where Bram tries a powerbomb like Magnus did last week but Magnus quickly counters out. He can’t piledrive Bram on the stage either and gets dropped by a low blow. Back to ringside with Bram sending him into the apron but getting caught by a missile dropkick back inside. Magnus can’t keep control though and they head outside with Bram sending him into the steps. With an evil smile on his face, Bram comes back in with some right hands but walks into a clothesline as we take a break.
Back with Magnus punching from the middle rope as the announcers hype a live Twitter on next week’s show. Both guys are down so here’s Mickie James to cheer for Magnus but he wants her to leave. The distraction lets Bram get a chair to blast Magnus in the back. He sends Magnus into the post as well before laying him on the steps. Now Mickie gets in to distract Bram but James Storm of all people comes out to say you don’t hit a woman.
Magnus gets back up and stomps a charging Bram with a boot, setting up something like a Rock Bottom for two. Magnus can’t follow up though and gets chaired in the head for another near fall. The Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gets two more and Bram is stunned. Back up and Magnus hits a powerbomb, followed by a second powerbomb and the belly to back into a Rock Bottom (the Spineshaker according to Wikipedia) for the pin at 18:55.
Rating: B. I liked this more than I thought I would and I was very relieved that Storm just stopped a single thing and then left. This continues to be one of the best stories TNA has done in a very long time and I didn’t want the Revolution to screw that up. Good brawl here, but the ending kind of came out of nowhere.
Angle says Lashley has never fought anyone like him.
Magnus goes up to ask Storm what that was about. Storm says he was looking out for an old friend. Magnus isn’t sure what to think of that and we can’t see Mickie’s reaction.
We look at Angle vs. Lashley with Kurt winning the title.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Lashley
Lashley is challenging and wearing orange tonight. Angle’s entrance takes place during the break. Feeling out process to start with Lashley knocking him to the mat off a shoulder. Lashley slows things down with a headlock and Kurt heads outside for a breather. Back in and Lashley wrestles him to the mat but the champ fights up and nails a clothesline to send Lashley outside. Back in again and Lashley drives a shoulder into the ribs and puts on a bearhug. He switches over to a waistlock but the fans get Kurt to fight up.
We come back from a break with Lashley still stomping away but getting backdropped to the floor. Lashley gets back in but Angle can’t roll the Germans on him. A spinebuster gets two on the champion and Lashley is getting annoyed. He misses a big swing though and now some Germans connect but Lashley grabs the ropes to counter the third. Kurt gets caught in a running powerslam for two but the third attempt at rolling Germans works better. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock but Lashley rolls him to the floor. A limping Lashley follows him outside and sends Kurt into the steps.
They get back in with Lashley smiling, then no selling the ankle lock with a one armed delayed vertical suplex. A good looking spear gets two and Angle is bleeding from the back of his head. With nothing left to do, Lashley goes up top but gets caught in a super Angle Slam for a close two. Angle completely misses the moonsault and now it’s Lashley putting Kurt in the ankle lock. The champ almost taps but rolls Lashley into the buckle for a rollup to retain at 21:19. Lashley’s shoulder was clearly off the mat.
Rating: B+. I liked the match but it didn’t quite hit the mark the previous one did. This felt like they were going for the huge match feel and it worked to a degree, but it felt more like they were just trying instead of achieving. Still though, really good stuff here and more than worthy of a TV main event.
Lashley shakes hands but the replay shows that his shoulder was indeed up.
Overall Rating: B. Really solid show for the pay per view caliber show of the month. The Knockouts weren’t great but Angelina hasn’t been a top shelf worker for a good while now. The main event was good and Bram vs. Magnus continues to be awesome. If they can find some way to maim Eric Young and launch him to Mars, everything will be great in TNA all over again. I’m still not sure what Bell to Bell meant but at least it was still entertaining.
Results
Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Figure Four
Gail Kim b. Angelina Love – Eat Defeat
Magnus b. Bram – Spineshaker
Kurt Angle b. Lashley – Rollup
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Impact Wrestling – March 27, 2015: The Old Standard
Impact Wrestling Date: March 27, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz
We’re finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against James Storm. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago to put him out of action.
Here are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here. A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt. Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the floor.
This brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out. Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full of weapons. The match is later tonight.
We look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back, allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.
The BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.
Ad for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD release?
Storm sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.
X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud
Rematch from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs. Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to beat a ten count back up.
Back up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.
Rating: D. Spud got beaten up for most of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.
Post break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.
Drew says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker) jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.
Video on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.
The BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.
Brooke vs. Awesome Kong
Let the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.
Rating: D+. I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts division.
Kong hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring. Taryn comes in to hammer on Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low bridging her to the floor. Kong shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.
Video on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.
Aries implies he’s cashing in tonight.
Jeff Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his face. That’s a bit excessive.
Here’s Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title #14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.
Angle did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.
This brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title, he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr. Anderson comes out to join in.
Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus
Joined in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.
Everything breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat. He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four for the submission at 7:26.
Rating: C-. This match was a good example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and build the anticipation.
Here’s Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the Impact Zone.
That’s what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying to kiss her instead.
Magnus gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man defending his family.
Angle says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He won’t be intimidated though.
James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy
Inside the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles. Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.
Closing Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.
Rating: C+. Fun match but there are some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore the parts that didn’t need to be there.
After a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.
Overall Rating: C. This show was a great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier: we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and that’s more like Raw than anything else.
Results
Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Small package
Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster
Eric Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson – Figure four to Aries
Jeff Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage
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Impact Wrestling – March 13, 2015: The Best TNA Show In Years
Impact Wrestling Date: March 13, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews
Tonight’s show is about violence between rivals. There are three showdowns tonight and blood is a real possibility in all three. We have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in a last man standing match, Magnus vs. Bram and Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud in an old fashioned hair vs. hair match. Let’s get to it.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. It’s a big brawl to start with Roode getting the better of it and knocking Young out to the floor for three. The fans want tables but stop to tell Young that he sold out. He also sucks but they don’t tell him that for some reason. Young punches Bobby in the mouth a few times, only to be backdropped on the aisle. Roode charges up the ramp for a clothesline and the announcers keep mentioning Roode turning his back on Young. It’s table time (hopefully it shuts them up for a bit) but we take a break before anyone goes through it.
Back with Young putting Roode down with a running neckbreaker and dropping knees to the chest. Another neckbreaker on the floor gets seven so Young whips Bobby into the steps to put him down again. Roode backdrops out of a piledriver on the steps and uses a cameraman to get to his feet. Both guys get chairs and it’s time for a duel, followed by a double clothesline to put them both on the floor.
They make it up and back in at nine with Roode getting all fired up first. Right hands don’t get Roode very far though as Young catches him with a piledriver for another nine. Some chairs to the ribs have Roode reeling but Young picks him up, only to get piledriven onto the chair. That’s still not enough so Roode loads up the Roode Bomb, only to have Young escape and both guys head to the apron. A Roode Bomb through the table is enough to put Young away at 19:38.
Rating: B. It was violent, it was intense, and I have no idea why they’re fighting. I thought about it for a bit and remembered it, only to realize I don’t care at this point. TNA knows how to set up a first brawl, but it takes them forever to get to the blowoff and by that point, the interest isn’t there anymore. Good brawl, but this really needs to end things between them.
JB tries to talk Spud out of the match tonight but Spud is going through with it because someone has to stand up to Carter. In Spud’s world, the good guys win.
Here’s Drew Galloway for a chat. He gets in the ring but decides that he feels better out in the fans where he belongs. Drew came here to give wrestling back to the fans, which means getting it away from people like MVP. MVP thinks he can come here and take over the company but that’s going to happen.
What is going to happen tonight is a match between MVP and Galloway, so here’s the BDC. MVP says he is god as far as Drew is concerned because he holds Drew’s life in his hands. Drew doesn’t get what he’s done but tonight he’s been chosen again. The fans don’t care for MVP but he asks the BDC to head to the back to make this one on one.
Drew Galloway vs. MVP
It’s a brawl to start with MVP getting the better of it and hammering away with right hands to the head. Drew gets choked on the ropes as we continue to see MVP’s offensive shortcomings. Both guys miss boots but Drew comes back with Future Shock, only to have the BDC run in for the DQ at 3:09.
Rating: C-. Better match for Drew this week but he still didn’t get to look very good. He certainly has a presence though and the standing up for wrestling idea is a good move. I’m not wild on the BDC though and MVP as the leader is only going to get them so far. Not bad here but it was barely rateable.
The beating is on post match and Joe hands Low Ki a pipe. Ki blasts him right in the forehead with it and the announcers barely react. Galloway is busted open.
Magnus tells Mickie James that he’s ready. He wants her to stay away from Bram though.
We recap Spud vs. Carter. They used to be friends but Carter blamed Spud for all of his problems and beat Spud up. This led to Spud growing a backbone and fighting against Carter. Both guys have tried to shave the other’s head tonight.
Recap of Bram vs. Magnus, which is a personal feud with Bram not liking the family man Magnus has become. This is the best thing Magnus has done yet, including his World Title win.
Bram vs. Magnus
It’s another brawl in the aisle to start with Bram taking over by sending Bram into the barricade. They get inside for the opening bell but Magnus clotheslines him right back to the floor. Bram is whipped hard into the steps but Magnus misses a charge, allowing Bram to send him into the post. A neckbreaker stays on the banged up neck and an Edge-O-Matic gets two. Magnus scores with a dropkick to put both guys down but here’s Mickie to ringside. Back up and Magnus hammers away with dropkicks and clotheslines, followed by the top rope elbow. Not that it matters as Bram kicks him low for the DQ at 5:23.
Rating: C. This felt like a preview for a bigger match down the road. Bram and Magnus have both gotten a lot better throughout this feud and they both have more places to go after this. Mickie didn’t really mean anything here but I don’t see her as being around long term anyway. Bram going after the neck made sense and it’s good to see that he can wrestle a regular match instead of just brawling.
Post match Bram finds the cue ball he used to hurt Magnus in the first place. He ties Magnus to the ropes but Mickie covers Magnus up. Thankfully Mickie remembers that she’s one of the best female wrestlers of all time and nails Bram but he grabs her by the neck. Bram tells Magnus to kiss his boot if Magnus wants him to let her go. She tells him don’t do it but Magnus kisses the boot anyway.
Brooke is walking through the back for her match with Robbie E. Nothing to this other than her walking, but this is an old Russo bit that I can’t stand. Big emotional moment in a well done segment…..and oh well it’s been ten seconds. Here’s a hot chick with a big grin on her face walking through the back for her comedy match. At least let the commercial break go through so we can let it sink in a bit more.
The BDC says that’s just the beginning for Drew.
Robbie E. vs. Brooke
DJZ gives Robbie a full boxing style entrance and Robbie comes out with Jesse and Angelina like he’s ready for a big fight. Robbie has a stool in the corner and shadowboxes to start. Brooke chases him into the corner so Robbie sits on the stool. Back up and Robbie shoves her down and cartwheels onto the stool again.
Brooke almost wins a test of strength and they run the ropes until she hammers away with forearms. Now she sits on the stool but gets distracted by Angelina, allowing Robbie to sit on the stool again. Robbie scores with a suplex but misses a middle rope splash. Brooke goes after Angelina though, only to duck Jesse’s dropkick and roll Robbie up for the pin at 4:27.
Rating: D+. If the worst thing I have to do is look at Brooke in her outfits, I have little issue with this show. This was a decent comedy match and there’s nothing wrong with Brooke pinning a schnook like Robbie. Good stuff, but it felt way out of place on a show built around violence like this.
Video on Angle returning to the ring for one last run at the title.
Video on Lashley’s training.
Rockstar Spud vs. Ethan Carter III
Hair vs. hair. Spud hammers in the corner to start and they head outside with Spud nailing a running dropkick up against the barricade. Back in and Carter just levels him with a clothesline to take over and we take a break. We come back with Carter crotching himself on the middle rope and getting dropkicked to the floor again. Spud nails him with a big flip dive off the top and both guys are down.
Cue Tyrus to powerbomb Spud on the floor but he somehow kicks out at two. Anderson comes out to hammer on Tyrus and Mic Checks him in the aisle. Carter makes the save and nails Spud in the head with the metal brace to bust him open. Back in and Ethan goes right after the cut to really bust Spud open, causing the blood to pour over Carter’s chest. Carter throws him out to JB’s feet so JB hits Carter low, allowing Spud to hit a Stunner for two.
We get the WWE black and white editing to prevent us from seeing blood, because if you turn blood black and white, no one knows what it is. Carter rams him face first into the mat but Spud Hulks Up and pounds Ethan down, setting up a running enziguri. A regular enziguri has Carter down again but the Underdog is countered, setting up another brace shot to the face for two. There is blood EVERYWHERE and Spud is a mess. The 1%er finally ends Spud at 16:48.
Rating: B. Great blade job by Spud here and the fans got into the comeback which is all that mattered. I don’t think people thought Spud was going to win here, but they did a great job of making you forget that Spud had next to no chance, and that’s all it needed to be. Good stuff here and they nailed the whole thing as well as they could.
Carter praises Spud post match and says maybe Spud could be a World Champion some day. He isn’t going to shave Spud’s head after that performance because Spud proved he was a man. Carter offers a handshake and holds the ropes open for Spud, but of course it’s a ruse and the beating is on. Carter: “NOT!!!!!” Spud gets tied in the Tree of Woe and we get the upside down haircut. Carter says this world is his to end the show.
Overall Rating: A-. That was the best show TNA has put on in years. All of the brawls felt violent and intense and I can live with a five minute comedy match to fill in the time. That being said, TNA needs to find somewhere else to go after next week because MVP as the top heel is only going to carry them so far. The midcard is awesome right now, but they need to transition at least some of those guys up to the top of the company instead of getting into their old habits of letting the same guys do their same stuff over and over again. Still though, great show this week and worth checking out.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb through a table
Drew Galloway b. MVP via DQ when the BDC interfered
Magnus b. Bram via DQ when Bram kicked him low
Brooke b. Robbie E. – Rollup
Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er
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Impact Wrestling – March 6, 2015: Stop. Before It Gets Bad.
Impact Wrestling Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz
Coming out of last week, we seem to not have a #1 contender. Lashley successfully defended the title against MVP, though the match featured a lot of interference. Other than that we have the continuing stories of Mr. Anderson/Spud/Mandrews vs. Tyrus/EC3, which has gone from a comedy feud to one of the more entertaining feuds in the company. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s main event with the Beat Down Clan getting close to taking the World Title from Lashley but Gunner and Drew Galloway made things even enough for Lashley to retain the belt.
Tonight it’s Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young for the #1 contendership.
Here’s the Beat Down Clan to get things going. Kenny King doesn’t want this Drew Galloway situation to get any further out of control. Drew is known as the Chosen One, but he choose to interfere in BDC business. I thought he was known as rhythm guitarist for some band with three guys. So now, it’s time for the BDC to choose what part of Drew they’re going to hurt.
MVP says this is Beat Down Clan business that was a year in the making. He arrived just over a year ago to become the World Champion but Drew got in the way. MVP is reasonable though and is willing to let Drew come out here and apologize. Galloway shows up in the crowd and says he’s at home right now. He came to the ring last week to stop MVP from stealing the title. He’s surrounded by wrestling fans, not sports entertainment fans.
Drew is here to give the fans a voice and asks some fans their names. Those are the people the BDC is screwing with and that isn’t going to fly. King says they demand retribution and threatens Galloway’s family if he doesn’t get in the ring tonight. Drew wants King one on one so King agrees to send his brothers to the back.
Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King
Both guys are in street clothes. King enziguris him down and MVP comes in for a few stomps. That’s not a DQ due to reasons not explained but Galloway comes back with knees in the corner and a snap suplex. King bails to the floor but Drew is fine with beating him up outside as well. He drops King over the barricade but King gets in some shots to the ribs to take over. A tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron has King in even more trouble as this has barely been a match so far.
Back in and King drops him ribs first over the ropes and we hit the chinlock. An overhead belly to belly gets two for Kenny but Drew gets all fired up. He gets two off a top rope clothesline but King breaks up the Future Shock (snap double arm DDT). They need to go home already because this is getting bad. King hits a quick springboard Blockbuster for two more and frustration is setting in. He loads up a backslide of all things but gets countered into the Future Shock to give Galloway the pin at 6:25.
Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one as they were just trading spots for a few minutes with no flow or structure to the match. Galloway is talented in the ring but having a big guy as the hero is always kind of awkward, especially when he’s in there against someone not very big. Not a good debut but at least Galloway won.
The BDC chases Drew off post match.
Here’s Roode to talk about the three way tonight. He promises to take out Young and get the title shot in one match. No one can stand in his way, but here’s Angle to disagree. He comes down to the ring but Eric Young sneaks in to go after Roode. Angle pulls him off and gets in a fight with Young, only to have Roode clear the ring.
Video on Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell for the Knockouts Title later tonight.
James Storm talks to Bram about joining the Revolution and asks him to take out Matt Hardy later tonight. Bram seems intrigued.
Before we go to a break, we get a video on the winner of tonight’s triple threat facing Lashley for the title in two weeks. They say his name over and over, show his picture, and show him winning the triple threat. I’ll avoid spoilers, but my goodness TNA, cut this nonsense out.
Video on Kurt Angle.
Matt Hardy vs. Bram
The bell never rings before they start fighting in the corner. Matt avoids a charge and hits the clothesline and running bulldog, followed by a second clothesline to send Bram outside. The brawling favors Bram of course and he takes over by driving Matt into the apron. Back in and some right hands set up a chinlock. Matt fights up and scores with a Side Effect, followed by a moonsault to the legs for two. Bram shoves the referee away though, setting up a low blow and the Brighter Side of Suffering (inverted DDT) for the pin at 4:15.
Rating: D+. Just a quick brawl here but Bram joining the Revolution could be interesting. That being said, they need to actually do something with the team before it gets stale by just sitting there. This wasn’t much of a match though and I’m not wild on another DDT finisher from someone out of the UK.
Bram gets his wrench but Magnus runs down for the save. When Bram left him laying in an alley, Magnus had two choices: go home and hide, or be the kind of man that his son could be proud of. It’s personal now, and Magnus is going to make Bram’s blood stain the holy ground of England.
Spud promises Anderson that he’ll finish things with Ethan Carter III tonight.
Galloway says he’s tired of the Beat Down Clan dominating the show and he isn’t going to stand for it. He has an army in his corner and it begins tonight.
Recap of Spud vs. Carter.
Here’s Spud in a Union Jack flag to thank the fans for getting him through all these problems. Everything has to end though, so he’d like Ethan Carter III to come out here right now, face to face. That’s exactly what he gets with Carter in a suit of his own. Spud wants to end this man against man but Carter goes into his usual speech about his accomplishments.
That’s not what Spud wants to hear though as he tells Carter to shut up. Of course Spud knows everything about Ethan’s career because he was there with Carter every step of the way. If that’s so important to him, fight Spud one on one so he can end Carter’s streak. Carter agrees, provided that Spud puts up his hair. Spud agrees, but thinks Carter’s hair should be on the line too.
Ethan bends down to look Spud in the eye and says challenge accepted, but just remember one thing: in this world, the bad guys win. Carter goes to leave but Spud brings up all the times Carter told him he was a lion or a gazelle. Well he isn’t any of those things, because he’s a man. As usual, this is the best feud TNA has had in months if not years. I can’t believe I’m saying it but my goodness it’s awesome.
Eric Young video.
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn is defending and goes right at Kong, only to bounce off the monster and hit the mat. Kong keeps pounding away and slams the champ down, only to miss a charge in the corner. Some right hands stun Kong for a few moments but the Taryn Cutter is shrugged off. The second attempt goes just as well but Kong shoves the referee away for the DQ at 4:15.
Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s fine. They were clearly setting up the big showdown later on, but this protected Kong at the same time. The problem with someone like Kong is you have to either give her the title or beat her and end her credibility. It’s hard to grade this as a match though as it was basically a squash until the storyline ending.
Taryn gets beaten up post match but Gail Kim runs out for the save.
Video on Davey Richards turning down the Revolution’s offer to join, setting up a rivalry between the teams.
Bobby Roode video.
Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Abyss/James Storm
The Wolves are challenging but get jumped by the rest of the Revolution during their entrance. We get the opening bell and everyone brawls in the ring with the Wolves sending Storm into Abyss and making the monster DDT his leader. I really, really hate that spot. Things settle down to Abyss hammering Richards down but missing a splash. Manik pulls Edwards down to the floor to break up the hot tag though and it’s off to Storm.
The Revolution tries to double team but Richards crawls between Storm’s legs for the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie starts cleaning house but eats a Backstabber and the Eye of the Storm for two. Cue Matt Hardy to stare at the rest of the Revolution, allowing Eddie to grab an O’Connor Roll for two. Storm grabs a jumping neckbreaker and tags in Abyss, only to have him get sent to the floor.
The Wolves hit three straight double dives to take out everyone not named Storm but Edwards kicks him down. Manik and Sanada sneak in but Sanada mists Manik by mistakes. Abyss tries to bring in the cowbell but Matt comes in with a Twist of Fate, setting up the top rope stomps from the Wolves (dubbed the Hammer of the Gods) for the pin at 8:15.
Rating: C-. Good night this was a mess and I was losing track of everything by the end. TNA really needs to cut down on the mass carnage and interference in their matches because this isn’t making things any better. The Wolves winning is fine, but three things: who do they defend against, what is the point of the Revolution at this point, and HOW BLIND IS THE REFEREE??? You had all that interference, a cowbell and MIST but he never calls a DQ? Really?
Post break, Matt endorses the new champs.
Spud vs. Carter in the hair vs. hair match is next week in London. Magnus vs. Bram as well.
Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode
One fall to a finish and the winner gets a title shot in two weeks. More on that later. For the third of five matches tonight, we have a brawl before the bell with Roode and Young beating each other up on the floor. Roode sends Young into the aisle before coming back in for a suplex from Angle. Eric gets back in and tries to German suplex Roode but Bobby grabs the referee. Instead it’s a neckbreaker to put Roode down as Angle is sent to the floor.
Young stays in control but gets small packaged for two, only to take Roode’s head off with a clothesline. A superplex on Roode is turned into a Tower of Doom with Angle powerbombing both guys down. Angle rolls a ridiculous ten Germans on Young but Roode counters the Angle Slam into the crossforehead. That’s countered into the ankle lock (probably because it wasn’t pulling back on Angle) but Roode rolls through into a crosseyes.
Young makes the save but takes the spinebuster from Roode, who gets Angle Slammed for two. There go the straps and Angle puts Young in the ankle lock but Eric makes the ropes. Angle rolls through the Roode Bomb into another ankle lock, only to have Roode roll through and bump the referee. Young hits Roode in the head with a chair, only to have Angle kick him down and hit the Slam on Roode for the title shot at 8:41.
Rating: C-. There were some major issues with this match. First and foremost was Eric Young, because he sucks. He makes things that shouldn’t possibly suck suck. Like an air pump that blows air into things. Eric Young could make it suck. You put Eric Young’s face on the New England Patriots’ jerseys? They suck.
Eric Young is appearing at a frat house and giving away free beer? The frat boys would go to church and drink orange juice instead because Eric Young sucks. Eric Young sucks. He sucks on trains, he sucks on cars, he probably sucks on orange flavored popsicles. Why would he do that? Because orange flavored popsicles suck, just like Eric Young.
So yeah, Eric Young sucks. Other than that though, this match needed to go longer to live up to the hype this match had been given in the show. It’s another short match that didn’t have the time to get anywhere because TNA has to pack everything they can into a single show and fit in all their promos that don’t advance anything.
There’s one last thing that held this match back though: TNA spoiled the ending. Yeah, earlier in the night there was a preview for the March 20 show. Here’s a paraphrased version of the audio. “KURT ANGLE has battled back to the top of TNA (with a clip of Angle pinning Roode) and is now the top contender to the World Title. On March 20, Angle will challenge TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley. Don’t miss this huge clash.”
So all that drama that they could squeeze in to the less than nine minutes they could give this match? Totally worthless, as they had given away the ending already. They did this a few weeks back when Lashley was in Lethal Lockdown. This is something they REALLY need to work on. You could easily have switched the audio to “WHO WON???” and the problem is solved. But it’s TNA, where the most basic things are difficult but having an entertaining show is becoming more common.
Lashley comes out for a staredown to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was the end of the run of really good shows but it was still good. Here’s the thing TNA still has over Raw at the moment: they set stuff up, give it a good build, then mostly deliver on it (after spoiling it half the time). WWE is the opposite as they have a bad build but the payoff is usually good. They need to slow things down though and let some of the matches stretch out. That’s making the shows feel like Attitude Era episodes: they go by so fast that I can’t tell if it was good or not.
The other major issue here is the lack of a focus. So Galloway is now feuding with the entire BDC, the Revolution is….I think feuding with the Hardys and Wolves, Bram might be joining the Revolution and is feuding with Magnus, and we’re getting Roode vs. Young again because they’ve been feuding so now they keep feuding? There’s good stuff in TNA right now, but they feel like they’re holding things together with some strong duct tape. That’s only going to last so long and this episode showed some cracks.
Results
Drew Galloway b. Kenny King – Future Shock
Bram b. Matt Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering
Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong via DQ when Kong shoved the referee
Wolves b. Abyss/James Storm – Hammer of the Gods to Abyss
Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode and Eric Young – Angle Slam to Roode
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
TNA One Night Only – Rivals: A Rivalry With My Sanity
Rivals Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Royal Palace Theater, Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina
Attendance: 400 Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
For the love of all things good and holy don’t tell me that these shows are going to become even more frequent now. These things continue to be some of the least interesting shows produced, but the worst part is they’re just kind of there. Some of the matches are watchable, but they’re clearly just there to fill in requirements based on the lack of effort in setting up the shows. Let’s get to it.
I think the theme here is obvious.
Standard music video opening showing us some of the stuff we’ll be seeing tonight.
JB is walking down the ramp towards the ring to fire up the crowd. If there’s a more under appreciated guy in TNA, I don’t know who it is.
We recap Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, which is built up over some of their legitimately great showdowns on PPV over the years.
The lights are very low again to make sure you can’t see how small the crowd is.
Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim
Both seem to be faces here. Tenay suggests that they focus on the rivalries instead of anything else, which I give about five minutes. Taryn takes her down with a hammerlock but gets caught in a headlock for a counter. The announcers are already onto medical info they’ve found online which has nothing to do with anything going on at the moment. They actually got to about two minutes of staying focused before flying off the cliff.
Taryn gets two off a running flip neckbreaker and the same off a snap suplex. A high cross body misses though as Taz calls Terrell one hot possum. Gail gets in some kicks to the ribs and Taryn is bleeding from the mouth. Off to the knee as Tenay mentions being in dental school at one point. A Brock Lock has Terrell in trouble as the commentary goes from phones to Rollie Fingers (baseball player).
Taryn finally kicks Gail out to the floor and throws her off the stage into the dozens of people in the crowd. She hits a cross body to take Gail down again but bangs up the knee even worse. Taz thinks they’re in Roanoke, Virginia as Taryn gets two off a middle rope clothesline. Off to a dragon sleeper, drawing out a bunch of Japanese wrestling references. Yeah I talk about the commentary on these shows a lot, but there isn’t much to talk about with the wrestling or stories so what else am I supposed to cover?
Gail wraps the bad knee around the post for a four count from the referee but she walks into an RKO for two with the knee slowing up the cover. Kim rolls through a high cross body for two and blocks another RKO, setting up Eat Defeat for a close two. Taryn avoids a missile dropkick and another RKO is good for the pin at 12:33. Taz: “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” It’s not the biggest upset in the world. Taz on the blood in Taryn’s mouth: “Go see Isaac Yankem.”
Rating: B-. These two always have good matches together and this was one of the better matches I’ve seen on this series. The knee work could have played into the finish more but at least it played a factor at all. At least Taryn won, but unfortunately it led to even more of Taz’s annoying commentary. That’s the running problem with most of these shows as they go from boring to insufferable almost every time.
We recap Gunner pinning Mr. Anderson to win a future World Title shot last year with an unintentional assist from James Storm. That led to a really lame feud which gets to continue here tonight.
Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm
Taz: “Everybody likes bullropes!” In a funny bit, there’s no mic to drop from the ceiling so JB sneaks up behind Anderson and puts a mic in his hand. “If it works it works right?” We’re finally ready to go after some cowboy stalling. By ready to go I mean ready to circle each other for a good bit until Anderson runs him over with a shoulder. Storm comes back with some right hands and chokes on the ropes, only to be sent out to the floor for more stalling.
Now James starts going after the leg because why not do the exact same thing that was done in the previous match? A chop block has Anderson in even more trouble and it’s time to talk about football. Storm mixes it up with an armbar but goes right back to the leg. Now they talk about Ed Sabol, who passed away the week after this show first aired. What it has to do with this match is beyond me but Anderson starts fighting back with right hands to FINALLY bring the commentary back to the match.
Storm misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry for two. Cue Sanada for a distraction so Storm get hit a middle rope DDT (cool move actually) for two. Sanada gets a bit more direct by kicking Anderson in the head, setting up the Lat Call for the pin at 8:27.
Rating: D+. I know he’s trying but Anderson’s matches just don’t do it for me. They can be decent if he has the time to get them there, but a basic match like this has never been his strong game. I’ll try to hold back on the commentary rants, but they were worse here than I’ve heard them in a long time. I mean they might have talked about the match for maybe three minutes of about eight and a half. That’s pitiful.
Eric Young says he and Abyss used to be best friends and now they’re going to have a Monster’s Ball match. Well of course they are. Abyss brought out the monster in Young and it brought him the World Title, so tonight Abyss is getting his best.
Kenny King vs. DJZ vs. Great Sanada vs. Samoa Joe
Elimination rules. All three try to jump Joe on the floor to start but he turns around to only see DJZ. Joe eventually kicks DJZ down before staying on the floor with him, leaving Sanada and King to fight inside. King scores with a dropkick as Joe can be seen destroying DJZ. They switch spots but King stops Joe from nailing DJZ, earning him a right hand of his own.
Kenny loads up a suicide dive but runs into King’s boot. Sanada goes after Joe for what could be an interesting match as Taz still can’t remember where they are. Oh yeah we’ve got a running gag. Back in and a triple boot puts Joe down and DJZ adds a Lionsault. A springboard spinning legdrop gets two for King and three straight elbows in the corner have Joe reeling.
The commentary kind of stays on the match by comparing Joe to Andre the Giant in battle royals, bringing them to a discussion of Haystacks Calhoun. Joe starts fighting back and catches DJZ in a Muscle Buster for an elimination. Another double team doesn’t work that well as Joe punches both guys away but walks into a springboard Blockbuster from King for two.
Sanada goes after King but gets caught in the Clutch to get us down to Joe vs. King. King immediately goes up for the missile dropkick but Joe just walks away. I still love that spot. The release Rock Bottom out of the corner looks to set up the Muscle Buster but Sanada mists Joe (with the referee CLEARLY LOOKING AT IT) to give King the pin.
Rating: C. Eh not terrible and I liked the idea of throwing the win to King instead of just having Joe run through everyone in his sight. That being said, HOW DID THE REFEREE NOT DQ KING FOR THE MIST??? Even Taz, the barren wasteland of intelligence on commentary, saw what happened and wanted to know how the referee couldn’t call anything. Stuff like that drives me crazy, especially after a quick enough and decent match.
Roode says he and MVP have hated each other since MVP sat foot in this company because they both want the World Title. Tonight MVP learns why it pays to be Roode.
Recap of Bram vs. Abyss in their hardcore series.
Bram vs. Gunner
When were these two rivals? From what I can find they only had a single match at No Surrender last year which was more about Samuel Shaw and Gunner. Bram bails from Gunner to start before running into a shoulder block for two. A headlock of all things slows Gunner down as the announcers talk about where they’re going for a post show party.
Tenay even brings up the Aces and 8’s but Taz laughs it off. Bram sends him into the buckle for the expected results as they’re still on this after party while throwing in a discussion of Bobo the cameraman. They head outside for a bit with Bram pulling him into the post to take over for the first time.
We hit the chinlock on Gunner until he fights up and rams Bram into the corner as the talk is back to football. They slug it out from their knees until Bram has to escape an F5 attempt. A Rock Bottom works a bit better for Gunner and the fans chant USA. Gunner gets crotched on the top rope but tries a sunset bomb, only to have Bram sit on top of him for the pin at 8:50.
Rating: D+. This would have been so much better if they had let them brawl. Gunner can get in a fight when he needs to and this would have been the perfect option. However, why let a new hardcore guy like Bram showcase himself when you can have Abyss do it again after all those years of doing the exact same thing?
We look back at EC3 injuring Angle’s knee and still being undefeated.
Here are Carter and Spud to say Ethan can’t face his rivals because he’s beaten them all. He goes over the list of everyone he’s beaten and sent away, meaning he’s the greatest wrestler in the world. This brings out Austin Aries, who doesn’t like the sound of that moniker. Carter can’t call himself that until he faces Austin Aries in this ring because he brings greatness out of people. “Let’s start a rivalry right now.”
Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries
Aries goes right for the brainbuster but settles for an armdrag and the Last Chancery. Carter bails to the floor and takes a big dive as it’s all Aries early on. He makes the mistake of chasing Spud though and gets caught by a big clothesline to give Carter his first offense. Back in and my goodness the crowd being blacked out is distracting. It’s like they’re wrestling in an elementary school gym with a big black curtain behind the three rows of fans.
Aries is rammed face first into the mat for two and we hit the chinlock. Spud gets in a few cheap shots when Aries is sent to the floor again but Carter follows him out and eats some chops to the chest. Now we’re talking about wrestlers’ real names and football careers. Back in for all of ten seconds before Carter dumps him again. Spud has to adjust the ring skirt so you can’t see the wood underneath the ring.
We hit another chinlock on Austin before he avoids being sent all the way to the floor. Carter gets sent into alternating buckles about ten times in a row but is able to come back with a powerbomb for two. The 1%er is countered but Aries can’t hit the running corner dropkick. Instead he snaps Carter’s neck across the rope and hits the missile dropkick. The brainbuster is loaded up but Spud pulls the foot and plays Bobby Heenan at Wrestlemania V to give Carter the pin at 8:30.
Rating: D. WAY too much stalling in this one as they had to go outside or to the chinlock almost every other minute. I don’t think anyone thought Carter was going to lose here but that doesn’t mean they can’t give the fans something to get excited about anyway. Spud and Carter were such a great pairing and they’re still entertaining now that they’re feuding.
Spud takes a brainbuster post match.
Abyss says Eric Young is his rival. Joseph Park brought out the best in him and then Young won the World Title. Tonight is just a regular match so Abyss can’t hurt him too bad, but it’s still going to hurt.
Video on Abyss embracing his dark side. The Joseph Park stuff feels like an eternity ago.
Eric Young vs. Abyss
Before the match Abyss grabs the mic and just make it a Monster’s Ball match already. Abyss says it’s been a long time and this show is about rivals. He can’t help but think about the time when they were friends. Eric and Joseph Park brought out the best in each other and Young wound up winning the World Title. However, Abyss is Young’s fault and Eric is lucky that this isn’t a hardcore match. Young is tired of being blamed for Abyss’ mess, so let’s get nuts and make this Monster’s Ball. I’m stunned.
Young fires off right hands to start and scores with his spinning forearm to the head. Abyss gets tired of getting punched in the face and throws Eric to the floor before getting some toys. Back to the football stuff with Taz acknowledging that they’re talking about it a lot tonight. Young finds a hockey stick and throws more weapons into the ring but runs into an elbow to the jaw.
It’s already table time as Taz finally remembers the Oakland Raiders line about cheating being encouraged. The table is set at ringside for later as Young is sent hard into the corner. Abyss cracks him in the head with a trashcan lid for a loud smack but the follow up trashcan shot doesn’t sound as good. The fans want tacks but get a chair to Young’s ribs instead. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Abyss crotches himself on a chair. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by what they’re seeing here. Tenay asks if there’s such a thing as Yambag Scrabble to make my headache even worse.
Young scores with a missile dropkick for two and starts swinging the kendo stick. Somehow this turns into a discussion of Paul Bunyan chopping down trees with jujitsu. Taz: “With the edge of his hand!” Abyss throws Young through the table at ringside but only gets two back inside. It’s Janice time but Young crotches him with a cheese grater. The top rope elbow is good for the pin at 10:54.
Rating: C-. Another “well, that happened” match as we’ve seen these two have weapons matches so many times that it’s really hard to get excited about it again. The fact that this was just a by the numbers Monster’s Ball match doesn’t help either, but that’s the case for almost every special match in this series.
Long recap of Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love, dating back to the original Beautiful People days. If nothing else we get to look at Lacey Von Erich again.
Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love
Madison cranks on the arm to start and mocks Angelina’s entrance, earning her a forearm to the head. Back in and a quick rollup gets two for Madison, followed by the scissors stomp. Angelina doesn’t appreciate that and takes it outside to send Rayne into the barricade. A big forearm gets another two for Angelina as this is really dull so far. She follows up with a basement dropkick and a second dropkick to send Madison back to the floor.
Back in and Tenay and Taz babble on about whatever their latest stupid topic is. Madison makes her comeback with a forearm and an enziguri, followed by a northern lights suplex for two. The Rayne Drop is countered into Lights Out (downward spiral) for a near fall. Another Rayne Drop is countered and Love grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks for the pin at 7:59.
Rating: F+. The only good thing here is how well they look in their outfits. Other than that, this was one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in recent memory. It was clear that neither of them was interested in doing anything outside of just the basics and that’s not a good thing after a show this dull so far.
MVP says Bobby Roode is rewriting history because he wasn’t scared to fight Bobby for the title. The rivalry is because MVP is one of the best of all time and Roode just thinks he is. If Roode wants to test himself against the best then MVP is fine with beating the heck out of him tonight.
We recap Lashley beating Eric Young to win the World Title and hurting his arm until Bobby Roode made the save. This led to MVP being fired as the boss and Kurt Angle taking the job.
And now, just so they don’t have to do even more new stuff, here’s Roode vs. Lashley for the World Title from Impact on October 24, 2014.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.
We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.
Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.
That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.
Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.
Bobby Roode vs. MVP
The announcers of course discuss sushi. Roode charges the ring and hammers away before sending MVP into the buckle. Another clothesline sends MVP bailing to the floor but he comes back with a kick to the face. Roode gets punched on the floor as we hear about Masahiro Chono influencing MVP’s offense. Back in and MVP misses a running boot in the corner but Kenny King comes in for the DQ at 2:28.
Eric Young runs out for the save and let’s have a tag match, because WE NEED MORE ERIC YOUNG!
Eric Young/Bobby Roode vs. MVP/Kenny King
Young and King get started with Kenny slugging him down in the corner. Eric comes back with a wristlock and makes the tag to Roode for a double hiptoss. Off to MVP for some shots to Bobby’s ribs and forearms to the head. For some reason this warrants a talk about the original Sheik as Roode scores with a suplex for two. Bobby follows it up by falling out to the floor and getting stomped by King. MVP covers with one finger for two because he’s a cocky heel that knows how to annoy a crowd.
We hit the chinlock on Roode and somehow find more football stuff to talk about. Roode fights up with a sunset flip and the referee has to slow down because MVP misses his save. A good looking spin kick to the head drops Roode and MVP cancels the Ballin Elbow and just covers for two. Back up and the spinebuster plants King and it’s the hot tag to Roode. Eric cleans house and the fans just do not care for the most part. A belly to belly gets two on King but Kenny comes back with a kind of reverse AA to plant Eric. MVP is “injured” but of course is playing possum, setting up the Black Out kick for the pin on Eric at 8:03.
Rating: C-. Who in the world thought we needed to see Eric Young twice in one night? Thankfully it was Roode in there most of the time to keep things from getting horrible, but this really wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. I like that they mixed it up a bit as you can only see so many singles matches in a row, but this really didn’t do it for me. Then again that might be all about Eric Young.
Magnus talks about beating Jeff Hardy to win the World Title for the first time at Final Resolution to win the World Title. Who thought that Jeff Hardy could lose a ladder match? Edge and Christian perhaps? Tonight he gets to face Hardy one more time and he’ll enjoy getting to see the teenage girls weeping. It’s the same story it always is between these two.
We recap the tournament for the World Title with Magnus eventually beating Jeff in a Dixieland match for the title.
Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus
Jeff goes into the crowd with his home state fans before the match. We even get big match intros to kill even more time. Magnus shoves him down to start and tells the painted one to bring it. Hardy’s arm work doesn’t get him anywhere so Magnus stomps him down in the corner. A clothesline sends Magnus to the floor and Jeff follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and the mule kick gets two and Jeff calls for the creatures. A slingshot is countered with a European uppercut and Hardy falls back out to the floor.
Back in and Magnus gets too cocky and earns a right hand to the face. They head right back outside with Hardy getting rammed into the barricade and ripping down the ring skirt in the process. The announcers debate bad commentators named Mike over the years as Magnus powerbombs Jeff down. Time for some chinlockery until Jeff jawbreaks his way to freedom. He can’t follow up though and gets caught in an abdominal stretch.
Jeff ducks another clothesline and starts his comeback with the legdrop between the legs. There’s the Whisper in the Wind for two followed by the Twisting Stunner. The Twist of Fate gets two but Magnus counters into something like the ProtoBomb for two of his own. Magnus tries a Twist of Fate of his own but Hardy grabs the real thing again, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 9:49.
Rating: C. That was indeed a wrestling match. I really don’t know what else I’m supposed to say here. You had a face vs. a heel and the face won with his finishing combination. Magnus isn’t bad but he really needs a character of some sort, which he seems to be getting with Bram. Hardy winning was obvious here and it capped off a thoroughly dull show.
Overall Rating: D-. These shows are really just boring house shows with HORRIBLE commentary. That doesn’t make me want to stick around as these things are becoming more of a chore to sit through every month. When they can’t even keep the concept going (“LET’S START A RIVALRY RIGHT HERE!”) for three hours without using a TV match that has aired on almost every special they air, it’s time for them to retool these things or stop advertising them before they become even more of an embarrassment.
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Impact Wrestling – February 13, 2015: Heaven Help Me
Impact Wrestling Date: February 13, 2015
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz
We’re back in the UK this week for the first of several taped shows. This tour usually results in some very high energy shows with the crowd eating up whatever TNA gives them. For once that seems more deserved as these recent shows have been a lot more entertaining and well put together than some of the last ones on Spike. Tonight is about the fallout from Lockdown so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley saying he wouldn’t team with Angle until he changed his mind a week later and helped his team win Lethal Lockdown.
The BDC arrived earlier, now in matching gear. MVP tells them to forget what happened last week because it’s time to show everyone what they do. Eric Young is here and I’m just going to start calling him a member of the team. The only reason he isn’t at this point is TNA said he wasn’t, but it’s close enough so yeah he’s a member of the team.
Here’s Angle to open the show. He’s usually been on his own, but he has to thank Gunner and Aries for helping him last week. The BDC wants to say they control the World Title, but the best wrestler in the world controls that title. Angle invites Lashley out here right now and they shake hands. Lashley says he was there to get his hands on MVP, not to help Angle. That’s fine with Angle, because he wants to be World Champion again. It actually has been a very long time.
Before the champ can say anything, here’s the BDC to interrupt. MVP says last week’s pin in Lethal Lockdown is stripped from the record books for some reason so now and it’s time for one of those two to get a beat down. Lashley cuts MVP off and issues a challenge to either two of them for a tag match against himself and Angle. This was a totally acceptable opening segment, but more importantly it was done in about ten minutes. Take notes WWE.
Austin Aries stops Bobby Roode in the back and goes over their history together. Roode of course respects Aries and agrees to give the fans something special. Unlike the opening segment, I have no idea why this was necessary.
We look back at Jeremy Borash preventing EC3 from cutting Spud’s hair last week.
Carter says he’s wealthy so he gets whatever he wants, and that would be to shave Spud’s head. Tonight it’s Carter/Tyrus vs. Mandrews/Spud/Borash.
Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
So they’re actually trying to make this Top 5 concept mean something. Next week there will be a 20 man gauntlet. The first fifteen entrants will be at random but the last five will be determined by the top five. Aries comes into this match at #3 and Roode is #1, basically making this match for the last spot in the gauntlet. The prize is of course a World Title shot the following week.
They trade arm holds to start with Aries going to a headstand but getting caught in an early Crossface. That goes nowhere but neither does Aries’ early Last Chancery. Both of their other finishers miss as well and Aries is sent to the apron but he shoulders Roode in the ribs and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Fast start here. Aries follows him to the floor with a huge top rope ax handle but gets dropped with a gordbuster back inside.
The spinebuster sets up the Blockbuster for two but Aries fights out of the Roode Bomb. Maybe Bobby should have stuck to busting. Austin knocks him off the top rope and hits the missile dropkick, followed by a discus forearm to send him outside. The suicide dive hits the barricade though and Roode takes over. Back in and Aries gets caught in the Crossface for the tap out at 8:21.
Rating: B-. The match was entertaining but the ending was kind of surprising. It does fit the idea of Aries hitting the barricade, but it’s rare to see someone with a top ranking cleanly defending it like this. By saying “this is for the #1 spot in something”, you’re almost guaranteeing that it’s going to change. The surprise isn’t a bad thing though and it worked quite well.
Roode says this is pro wrestling. I’d call that a pretty big stretch. Aries leaves and Roode says it’s time to get his title back. Roode vs. Lashley III never happened and he deserves a rematch. Cue Eric Young to jump Roode from behind and plant him with a piledriver. Of course he does, because where would we be without Eric freaking Young to take the focus off a good match and a logical story progression to keep up a feud where Roode won the big gimmick match? Oh that would be because we can have a TRILOGY, and that’s the magic word in wrestling for some reason, even when there was no desire to see a second match.
After a break, Roode is being helped out and Young piledrives him on the stage. In case you didn’t know, Eric Young is CRAZY.
Here’s Al Snow, looking ancient. He’s been having issues with one of the students on British Boot Camp, which I’d assume has been seen by about 18 American fans. The fans in the arena certainly seem to know it though as they start chanting for Grado, one of the contestants on the most recent season. In Grado, Snow found someone else who thought he could do what Snow does but Grado was just another failure.
Snow gives Grado one more chance to come out here and quit before he has to give the student a beating next week. Grado comes out and looks like a cleaned up Louis Spicolli. Snow rips into him for a lack of respect and heart. He’s the heel here if that wasn’t clear. Grado takes the mic away and says Snow doesn’t realize where he is. They’re in Glasgow and the people here won’t take this from Snow. Grado’s mom is in the front row so Snow yells at her, causing Grado to nail him in the face. The fight is made for next week.
After the segment is over, I still have the same two questions I had before it started: who is Grado and why am I supposed to care about this feud? We first heard about Grado maybe two minutes before he appeared and were given a very basic backstory about him. I get that the fans live are going to like him, but if you don’t or can’t watch British Boot Camp, there’s a good chance you don’t know who this guy is. Show us some stuff from the show and give us a reason to care, because otherwise it’s the same as bringing in the ECW guys for shows in the northeast. If you didn’t care for ECW, you don’t care about that.
I don’t care about British Boot Camp, but it’s more because I haven’t been exposed to it. I’m not a fan of just expecting the fans to know what you’re talking about, especially when you can clear it up with a quick package or by giving us some information more than two minutes before the whole thing starts. It’s going to get some loud pops in the arena, but there are a lot more fans on the other side of the camera. I will give them this though: Snow did a great job at riling up a crowd like an old school talker can.
Craazy Steve vs. Bram
Bram pulls him out of the corner to start, sending Steve’s head into the buckle. He grabs the mic and says he wants Magnus, stomping at Steve’s head more every time. Steve’s comeback lasts as long as you would expect and an impaler DDT gives Bram the pin at 2:20.
JB says he can’t wrestle but Spud says they’re men and they’re going to be fine.
Gunner asks Angle if he’s sure about teaming with Lashley. Kurt knows he and Lashley are fighting one day and he wants the champ at his best.
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash
Carter, sporting a huge brace on his arm due to a recent surgery, is thinking this week and has cordless clippers to shave some hair. Spud gets right in Carter’s face but Tyrus comes in instead. That goes badly for Spud and Mandrews is thrown down as well so it’s time for JB vs. Carter. Ethan easily pounds Jeremy into the corner and it’s off to Mandrews to take the real beating. Tyrus plants him with the t-bone and now Carter comes in to pick the bones.
The announcers get off topic to talk about the main event tag as carter sends Mandrews face first into the mat. Mandrews fights out of a chinlock and hits an enziguri, allowing for the tag to Spud. Tyrus breaks up the Spud offense with a claw hold but accidentally splashes his boss. A Dudley Dog sends Tyrus to the floor and……Borash goes up top for a dive onto Tyrus! Borash looks dead after landing but still it looked good at the time. Back in and the 1%er is enough to pin Spud at 6:06.
Rating: C. Spud is rapidly growing on me as he keeps getting better and better in the ring and is nailing the Spike Dudley mold of fighting beyond his size. The dive from Borash was more cool than anything else and gave me a little smile. This story continues to live WAY beyond its means and is far more entertaining than it has any right to be. I know Spud is going to lose in the end, but man alive they’re making it fun along the way.
Carter and Tyrus go for the hair but the lights go out and Mr. Anderson appears to take out the heels.
Gunner says he’s ready for the gauntlet but gets beaten down by the BDC.
Here’s Madison to talk about something. Before she can really get going, she keeps getting interrupted by what sounds like a microphone being dropped and stepped on. She says she’s one title reign away from the all time record and no one can beat her. I think you know what’s coming.
Awesome Kong vs. Madison Rayne
Kong splashes her in the corner but misses one in the middle of the ring. That’s the extent of Madison’s luck as the Implant Buster ends her at 1:24.
Aries is in Angle’s locker room and says he tapped out because he has his eyes on the World Title. Angle doesn’t seem to care and again this seemed a bit worthless.
We look back at Jeff Hardy’s injury last week to keep him off the UK tour.
Cue Matt Hardy to give us an update on his brother’s condition. Jeff has taken a lot of risks over the years and given us memories that will last forever. Every time he’s been hurt before, Jeff has always been able to give Matt a little sign that he’s ok and will be back. Last week though, there was nothing from Jeff. This brings out the Revolution so Storm can say that Matt is right.
Storm did what Edge and Christian and Team 3D couldn’t do. Sting, Kurt Angle, Roode, Aries, Lashley or even the Undertaker couldn’t do what he did. He put Jeff Hardy down because heroes only exist because of villains. Matt has two options: join the Revolution or join his brother in the hospital. Matt says Jeff’s hospital bed is pretty nice and the beating is on. Manik puts him in a cross armbreaker and they go for the noose but the Wolves run out for the save.
Aries won’t say when he’s cashing in and gets attacked by the BDC. They even throw him out the door but are nice enough to throw him his briefcase. We actually get a replay of it not thirty seconds later. Apparently throwing him the briefcase is a way for the BDC to attack Lashley as much as they want without worrying about Aries. If they’re beating him down, wouldn’t they be able to see Aries coming? Or they could just, keep the briefcase if its presence is required.
Kurt Angle/Bobby Lashley vs. MVP/Samoa Joe
Ki and King are of course at ringside. Angle and Joe get things going after a break and they trade arm control to start. It’s quickly off to Lashley for a running shoulder to Joe’s ample gut and a hard clothesline. MVP bails from contact and Joe gets in some cheap shots to take over. It’s off to MVP for a running basement dropkick and that’s about it for the leader. Joe runs him over again and King gets in some choking from the floor. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Lashley throws Joe down, allowing for the tag off to Angle. It’s Germans time but the Angle Slam only gets two on Joe.
Everything breaks down and MVP sends Kurt shoulder first into the post for two. We settle down to MVP working over Angle before it’s back to Joe for a weak crossface chicken wing. Angle fights out and makes hot tag the sequel to Lashley. The big delayed vertical suplex drops MVP and a spinebuster gets two. Everything breaks down again and Lashley loads up the spear to Joe but Angle grabs the ankle lock. The distraction lets MVP roll up Lashley with a handful of trunks for the pin at 10:08.
Rating: B-. Nice main event style tag here and it’s clear that MVP is the next major challenger to the title before we get to Angle vs. Lashley in their big showdown. This feels a lot like Reigns vs. Bryan and it’s being done a bit better. It’s a nice three way feud, but MVP really doesn’t need a stable behind him to do this. Just have them all be guys instead of MVP running a group and let them have a feud. Still though, good enough.
Overall Rating: B. TNA is rolling right now and this was another good wrestling show. They’re setting up stories and seem to be paying them off. No it’s not perfect and there are some tweaks that need to be made, but I’m very pleased with what I’m getting at the moment. If nothing else, they’re not cramming 19 segments on one story into a show and are spreading things around a good bit. That being said, I’ve thought this before and TNA has managed to screw it up like no other. Hopefully it lasts a good while though as this has been very entertaining lately.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Austin Aries – Crossface
Bram b. Craazy Steve – Impaler DDT
Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud/Mandrews/Jeremy Borash – 1%er to Spud
Awesome Kong b. Madison Rayne – Implant Buster
MVP/Samoa Joe b. Lashley/Kurt Angle – Rollup with a handful of trunks
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Impact Wrestling – February 6, 2015: How To Book A Monster Face
Impact Wrestling Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz
As is going to be the case all year it seems, pay per view is no longer an option (save for One Night Only because who can forge that series) so for the first time ever, Lockdown is being offered as a free TV broadcast. The main event is Team Angle vs. the BDC with Angle’s team being down a man as Lashley turned down his offer to join. Let’s get to it.
The opening video starts off by focusing on the cage itself before shifting to Roode vs. Young and the Lethal Lockdown main event.
All matches are inside a cage.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. James Storm/Abyss
Storm and Abyss are defending and it’s tornado rules. Matthews says he and Taz are ringside and then they’re shown in their studio in Nashville. So Matthews is a liar. Good to know. The Hardys start fast with Poetry in Motion to both guys but they have to stop to deal with the interfering Manik. They just happen to have a pair of handcuffs to tie him to the top rope but the distraction lets the champs take over. Matt and Jeff are sent into the cage over and over with Matt getting the worse of it as we take a break.
Back with Storm hitting a top rope elbow for two on Matt as frustration is starting to set in for the champions. The Hardys quickly fight back for a double two count but Matt misses a moonsault to Storm. Matt doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a top rope Twist of Fate to drop Storm. Khoya ignores the cage as well and pulls Matt through the camera hole to the floor, which doesn’t count as a win because it wasn’t over the top. Back inside, Jeff hits a Twist on Abyss but Sanada Mists him to break up the Swanton. Storm’s Last Call retains the titles at 13:36.
Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest than a coherent match but that’s what you have to expect for a tornado style match. It’s not that easy to get much of a story going without the need for tags and all those other people interfering in the match. Still though, it had enough big spots to open a show and it’s always good to see the Revolution get a win.
Post match the Revolution puts Matt through a table outside and sets up another in the ring. They unhook Mania, though where they got the key isn’t really clear. Manik misses a top rope splash through the table and Jeff fights off most of the Revolution and climbs up, only to get crotched on the cage door and knocked off onto the steps. This is Jeff’s annual “I can’t go to England” injury angle.
MVP has a special offer for Angle tonight. After a break, MVP, King and Young are in the ring with MVP talking about how dangerous this cage really is. They’re ready to face anyone who stands in their way tonight and Young promises to make Roode bleed tonight. Bobby is offered a chance to walk away but MVP switches to Angle. He wants Kurt to come out here and talk to him face to face for a proposal.
Cue Angle, Gunner and Aries as MVP talks about how all three can walk out of here (they just walked in here though) without getting beaten up again. MVP has talked to Angle’s doctor and that knee is being held together by tape and gum. Has this doctor never heard of privacy laws??? Angle and company say they’re not walking away and the brawl is on. Joe and Low Ki come out to give the BDC an advantage and they crush Gunner’s arm in the cage door. The Clan runs away instead of taking advantage of their numbers advantage.
Video on Havok and Kong dominating the company. I still don’t buy Havok as anywhere near Kong’s level after winning like five matches.
Gunner is checked on in the back but he insists he’s starting the match tonight.
Havok vs. Awesome Kong
They start fighting on the ramp with Kong getting the better of it but being sent into the steps. The bell rings before they’re even in the cage with Kong down on the floor. Kong fights out of the spinebuster slam and sends Havok into the steps for her efforts. The fans think this is better than the Divas, which really isn’t covering a lot of ground.
They finally get inside (the girls, not the fans, in case you’re really thick in the head) and ram heads before Havok kicks her down. It just seems to fire Kong up though and she no sells a chokeslam for good measure. A chokeslam puts Havok down and sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin at 5:48.
Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting, even though the ending was exactly what I expected. There was no reason to think Havok could go toe to toe with Kong, especially given how short Havok’s run in TNA has been. She debuted what, four months ago, which includes the month they were off TV? Kong looked dominant though and that’s the right idea.
Video on Roode vs. Young. They have to have someone bleed in this.
From two weeks ago, Velvet told Angelina that she was fired and starts crying. Love hugs her and smiles at the news.
Lashley is told Angle is looking for him and the champ says he isn’t hard to find.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
Pin or submission only. Roode runs him over to start but eats an elbow to the jaw. The fans already want blood as Eric sends Roode back first into the cage a few times. A belly to belly sets up a chinlock on Roode before a powerslam gets two. Cue MVP with a chair but Roode ducks a big swing. The piledriver is countered into a catapult to send Young into the cage and you can see Eric blade. I really shouldn’t like seeing him in pain this much.
The spinebuster gets two for Bobby and he puts Young on top. A super Roode Bomb is countered with a cage shot and Young’s top rope elbow gets two. Young loads up another elbow onto the chair but Roode gets up and blasts him in the back. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is good for the pin at 7:55.
Rating: D. Well that happened and I still don’t care. At the end of the day, Eric Young isn’t interesting, intimidating, tough, worthy of being in a major story or anything positive that I can think of. This “12 years thrown away” story made my head hurt as these two barely associated for years and the whole “Roode owns Young and makes his life miserable” period is conveniently forgotten. Just get Young back to the comedy jobber guy he’s been for years so I don’t have to put up with this any longer.
Lashley turns Angle down again so Kurt throws him against the wall and tells him to wake up.
The announcers debate the upcoming Top 5.
Mandrews/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus
Tyrus easily shrugs off a double teaming to start and shoves both guys into corners. A double Tongan Death Grip has them in trouble but they come back with a double dropkick to the face and then more to the chest. An enziguri is good for one but Spud escapes a powerbomb and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. With a middle finger to Carter, Spud hits a HUGE flip dive to take Tyrus down and Ethan is stunned.
Carter gets up and spits at Mandrews, tricking him into coming out of the cage. Carter trips him up on the way out, sending Mandrews’ head into the steps to make this one on one. Spud is distracted from covering and gets the cage door slammed on his head, setting up a Tongan slam and Asiatic Spike to the neck for the pin on Spud at 5:44.
Rating: C. That big flip and Carter’s facials make this match work better, even though Mandrews really didn’t need to be in the match. I’m digging this feud way more than I was expecting to and I’m actually believing Spud could pull off the upset and beat Carter, even though that wouldn’t make a ton of sense.
Carter goes to shave Spud’s head but JB unplugs his clippers.
We look at Hardy being hurt “moments ago” and say there’s no update.
Roode talks about the fifteen years he’s known Eric and says he made Young bleed, just like he promised. They were best friends but now it’s all gone and it’s time to move on.
Earlier tonight, Robbie E. challenged Brooke to a competition to determine who lost the Amazing Race. They had a dizzy bat challenge before climbing the cage and getting back out with the winner crossing a finish line. Robbie almost won but spent too much time taking a picture, allowing Brooke to hit him low and win. This was heavily clipped instead of showing the full thing.
Team Angle vs. Beat Down Clan
Kurt Angle, Gunner, Austin Aries, ???
MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, Low Ki
Lethal Lockdown, meaning two men start for two minutes and then a team (determined by a coin toss) gets to send in its second man. After two minutes the team that lost the coin toss gets to send in its second man to tie things up for two minutes. The teams continue to alternate until all participants are in when it’s first pinfall or submission wins. There are weapons provided inside the cage for the duration of the match this year, as opposed to them not coming down until the last man enters in previous editions.
King and Gunner get things going with Kenny going after the injured arm. Gunner whips him into the cage and blasts him in the back of the head with a trashcan lid to keep King in trouble. He chokes King with a nightstick but Low Ki comes in to make it 2-1. They’re already going quickly through this match.A big trashcan lid shot to Gunner’s head gives the BDC control and King holds him for kicks to the chest. The beating continues until Austin Aries comes in for the tie. Austin immediately starts speeding things up and blasts King in the ribs with the nightstick.
Gunner opts for a tennis racket (cue the Jim Cornette reference from Taz) but it’s Samoa Joe to give the BDC another advantage. More weapons shots have Team Angle in trouble as this is getting very repetitive, just like almost all Lethal Lockdown matches. Angle ties it up again and takes a hockey stick to his ribs upon entry. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind and German suplexes Joe before rolling Kenny up out of instinct. Team Angle gets beaten down with more weapons shots until MVP completes the BDC.
Pins and submissions are allowed now as all the announced wrestlers are in. Back from a break with the BDC destroying everyone in sight with quadruple teaming. Angle finally gets back up and blasts them with the trashcan lid. The comeback is short lived though as the BDC destroys them again….and here’s Lashley. This would be more exciting if TNA hadn’t shown him appearing four times now in their previews for next week.
He extends his hand to MVP but doesn’t let go, pulling the leader into a clothesline. Lashley cleans house but gets taken down into the corner and choked out by MVP. Angle counters Joe’s Muscle Buster into the ankle lock as Gunner Gun Racks King and Aries puts Ki in the Last Chancery. Lashley spears MVP down for the pin at 20:23.
Rating: C+. Bobby Lashley is exactly what Roman Reigns should be. He’s big, he’s strong, he runs through people, and he barely ever speaks because his actions do all his talking for him. I’ve had a lot of fun watching Lashley break people in half over the last few months and he’s far more entertaining than Reigns more often than not. Put Reigns on a roll like this and build it as a clash of the titans against Lesnar and I’d want to see it. Some guys just don’t need to have a really detailed character and both Lashley and Reigns fit that mold.
The rest of the match was just there and followed the format of almost every single Lethal Lockdown match in history, minus the big spot on top. You knew it wasn’t going to really crank up until the end of the match which makes the first seventeen minutes or so pretty dull stuff. I can only see a trashcan lid to the back of the head to change momentum so many times.
Overall Rating: C+. It’s a decent enough show but as usual, most of these matches don’t need to be inside a cage. This is very similar to the Elimination Chamber or Hell in a Cell PPV: the calendar alone said these matches had to be in cages and there really wasn’t a reason for a lot of them to be under these rules. Look at Kong vs. Havok and see that the cage didn’t change a thing. The Hardy bump could have been done off the top rope for the same ending and Spud could have hit the same move off the top rope. Only the main event required a cage and it didn’t really change much. Decent show but not necessary.
Results
James Storm/Abyss b. Hardys – Last Call to Jeff
Awesome Kong b. Havok – Awesome Splash
Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb onto a chair
Tyrus b. Mandrews/Rockstar Spud – Asiatic Spike to Spud
Team Angle b. Beat Down Clan – Spear to MVP
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