Fatal Four Way Collection
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Cyrus, Joey Styles, Byron Saxton, Renee Young, Tom Phillips, Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph, Aiden English, Jim Cornette

I have no idea why this is something that was necessary, though if you can run a pay per view about it, you can do this too. In this case, I’m not sure how interesting this is going to be as the concept can get tiring rather quickly. Hopefully the action is enough to keep things moving for over two hours so let’s get to it.

From Rebellion 2000.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi vs. The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Angle is defending, no countouts or DQ’s and this is Evil Rikishi. The fact that Angle comes out second tells you about where he’s standing at the moment. The brawl is on to start fast with Rock and Rikishi fighting out to the floor, leaving Austin to hit a spinebuster for two on Angle. Rikishi pulls Austin outside so we can switch off a bit, leaving Rock to Samoan drop Angle for two more.

Back up and Rock sends Angle flying over the top as Rikishi and Austin come back in. That means Rikishi gets caught between the superheroes for a bunch of right hands, followed by some double stomping. Angle tries to leave, which doesn’t work for Rock, even if that’s not the wisest move. Austin Thesz presses Rikishi for the right hands and Rock sends Angle back in for a Thesz press from Austin as well.

Angle and Austin head to the floor again with Austin using a cable to choke on the announcers’ table. Rikishi crushes Rock in the corner but the Stinkface is blocked with a well timed low blow. The People’s Elbow gets two, with Angle having to come in for the save. We slow down a bit as the heels take over in something of a mini tag match. As you might expect, Rock and Austin fight back rather quickly and it’s time for the big staredown.

Austin gets the better of things but Rock punches his way out of the corner. That just earns him a Stunner for two with Angle making another save. Tazz: “I cannot believe that Austin just Stunned the Rock.” As I try to figure out why that would confuse him, Austin stomps Angle down in the corner.

That takes too long though and it’s a Rock Bottom for two, with Rikishi pulling the referee out. Back in and the Angle Slam gets a VERY delayed two on Rock but here are Edge and Christian to help Angle. Austin beats them up and it’s a Rock Bottom to Rikishi, with Edge making the save. Cue the Radicalz as Austin Stuns Rikishi for two, with Saturn making the save. Another Angle Slam pins Rikishi to retain the title at 8:50.

Rating: B-. It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t last very long. Rikishi as a big time heel never worked and he was clearly going to be the one to take the fall the second he was introduced. That’s not a terrible thing though, especially for a special England only pay per view in the first place. The rest of the match was your usual stuff and given the circumstances, that was acceptable enough.

From ECW On Sci Fi, August 28, 2007.

The Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman

For a future shot at the ECW Title. V jumps Boogeyman so Miz and Punk jump V, who shrugs all three of them off at once. We get the Boogeyman vs. V showdown but Miz pulls Boogeyman outside. That leaves Punk to dive on V, who throws him outside for the big crash. V beats on Miz and Punk outside but misses a charge and crashes over the barricade.

Punk gets sent into the steps though and Miz is there to jump Boogeyman back inside. Miz’s running corner clothesline gets two on Punk and we hit the chinlock, which is kind of nutty in a four way. Punk is back up with the running knee and bulldog, followed by the top rope clothesline for two. The GTS finishes Miz at 7:07.

Rating: C. This was a really weird choice as it basically turned into a singles match with about three minutes to go. Boogeyman and V just vanished from the thing and never showed up again. I kept waiting for one of them to do something but instead it was just punk shrugging off Miz’s offense and beating him. That’s a fine way to go, but what a weird way to get there.

Post match V beats up Boogeyman as they magically reappear.

From Capital Carnage.

Steve Austin vs. Mankind vs. vs. Kane vs. Undertaker

Yeah that’s a lineup. Gerald Brisco is guest referee and Big Boss Man is guest enforcer. Kane goes after Mankind before the other two come to the ring but the lights go out for Undertaker’s rather slow paced entrance. The brawl continues throughout the lengthy entrance, with the camera on Undertaker because the wrestling itself is just a detail. They finally stop fighting but Kane knocks Mankind into a chokeslam from Undertaker, leaving the monsters to brawl.

Kane is sent outside and here is Austin as the fight is on again. Undertaker and Austin fight on the ramp and then come back to ringside as Vince McMahon is rather nervous on commentary. With Austin down, Undertaker switches off to Mankind but Austin (still in his vest) is back up and sent inside. Undertaker joins him and gets hit in the face, followed by some choking with the vest.

The jumping clothesline hits Austin (Vince: “YEAH BOY!”) for two as Mankind keeps punching Kane on the floor. Paul Bearer goes JJ Dillon with a shoe to Austin’s head but Austin is back up with a Thesz press to Undertaker. Austin covers and Brisco hurts his knee (doesn’t feel like a screwjob), allowing Kane to make the save. All four finally get inside for the first time a mere seven minutes in and Undertaker and Mankind are outside seven and a half minutes in. The other two go outside and Vince gets mad at Mankind for not attacking Austin.

Back in and Kane chokes Undertaker in the corner while the other two are down. Kane goes after Mankind as JR and Vince get in a spat over Austin. Old School is broken up and Undertaker gets crotched on top, sending the two of them to the floor. Mankind offers Austin a handshake but gets kicked in the ribs, meaning it’s time for the Mandible Claw. Undertaker crotches Mankind against the post and Austin gets double teamed by the giants. We’ll make that triple teamed but Austin fights back, with a chair being brought in.

Mankind breaks up a spoke Tombstone onto the chair but gets his head cracked by Undertaker’s chair shot. Austin covers but Brisco just stops counting. Mankind and Undertaker go outside so Austin hits the Stunner on Kane. Brisco needs to know the time, so Austin decks him down. Undertaker is back in with chokeslams to Austin and Kane, with a regular referee coming in to count as Mankind makes the save. Austin Stuns Kane again for the pin at 16:11.

Rating: B-. This was longer than it needed to be and dragged in the middle, but it felt like a pay per view main event rather than a spruced up house show match. Austin winning is of course the only way to go, though I was expecting Mankind to take the fall. Good enough stuff here, though trimming off three minutes or so would have helped.

From ECW Heat Wave 2000.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This doesn’t fit the bill so here is Mikey Whipwreck to make it better.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Yeah that works. They start by kicking each other in the head (shocking I know), with Guido kicking Tajiri out to the floor. Whipwreck hurricanranas Guido and Stuns Tajiri, followed by the running flip dive to the floor. Cue Tony Mamaluke, who gets taken down by Whipwreck. For some reason, Whipwreck dives onto the 500lb Big Sal and is quickly posted. Psicosis hits the guillotine legdrop and Guido pins Whipwreck for the elimination at 1:36.

So that leaves us with the original match, with Tajiri hurricanranaing Psicosis. Guido pulls Psicosis to the floor so Tajiri can hit a nice Asai moonsault onto the two of them. Back in and Tajiri superplexes Guido so Psicosis can hit a somersault legdrop for two (that’s a surprising kickout). An Unprettier hits Psicosis and Tajiri’s bridging German suplex gives Tajiri the pin at 4:28.

We’re down to Guido vs. Tajiri, with the latter kicking him down and getting two off another suplex. The handspring elbow connects and it’s time for a chair (of course). Guido fights back with a Sicilian Slice and kicks Tajiri outside. That lets Guido flip off the fans but the Unprettier is broken up as well. Instead Tajiri kicks him down and hits the brainbuster onto the chair for the pin at 9:18.

Rating: C+. I’m not a huge fan of the “let’s add someone in just so we can eliminate them in a hurry and then get back to the original match”. It just makes me wonder what the point of the addition was in the first place and that was the case here. At least Psicosis was there instead of Super Crazy, as that three way dance had been done to death.

From Insurrextion 2001.

Hardy Boyz vs. X Factor vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Edge And Christian

Elimination rules. Albert is here with X Factor and grabs Bubba’s leg to start, allowing Credible to hammer away. That works in a grand total of no way as Bubba fights back and knocks Credible into the corner. Matt and Christian come in with Christian getting the better of things until Matt neckbreakers his way out of trouble. Jeff comes in to quite the reaction and crossbodies Edge for two.

It’s off to X-Pac to take over on Jeff, who snaps off a headscissors and it’s back to Matt. X-Pac is right back with a crotching against the post, followed by a Bronco Buster. Matt double clotheslines X-Factor down and Jeff comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Jeff misses Poetry In Motion. Matt gives X-Pac the Twist Of Fate and, after Albert misses a splash, Jeff drops a Swanton for the elimination at 5:48. X Factor beats up Matt, leaving Christian to Unprettier Jeff for the pin at 6:03.

We’re down to Edge And Christian vs. the Dudleys with the Canadians being whipped into each other. D-Von powerslams Christian for two but gets caught with a backbreaker. It’s off to Edge for a hard whip into the corner but D-Von manages a middle rope clothesline. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Bubba though and Christian is right back with another backbreaker.

The reverse inverted DDT plants Christian though and NOW we get the big tag off to Bubba. House is quickly cleaned, including What’s Up to Edge. It’s time for a table, which knocks Edge And Christian down, only for Rhyno to run in and Gore Bubba. Edge steals the pin at 13:21.

Rating: B-. Speaking of matches that had been done to death, I present you with the tag division from this period. As great as the three main teams were, there comes a point of GET SOMEONE ELSE ALREADY. X-Factor wasn’t much of an addition as they were out in about five minutes, leaving us with the same stuff we’ve seen for WAY too long. The action was fine as usual, but mix it up a bit.

Post match the table is set up but Spike Dudley is here to cut Rhyno off.

From NXT Takeover: Fatal Fourway.

NXT Title: Adrian Neville vs. Tyler Breeze vs. Sami Zayn vs. Tyson Kidd

Neville is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. They’re rather tentative to start with no major contact in the first minute. We pair off with Kidd hammering on Neville and Zayn fighting out of the corner to beat up Breeze. That’s broken up and it’s down to Zayn vs. Neville, which is what people seem rather interested in seeing. The other two come back in to break it up and everyone goes outside for a slugout.

Zayn stops for a quick photo with Breeze’s phone, which he throws inside. Kidd switches off and takes Zayn inside, where Zayn is right back with a Koji Clutch. Breeze breaks that up and a double suplex puts Neville down on the stage. It’s Zayn coming in to cut Kidd off, earning himself a double suplex onto the ramp. Back in and Zayn gets double teamed as we slow down a good bit. Neville tries to make the save and gets kicked outside but Kidd sends Breeze outside as the alliance is done.

Kidd keeps knocking people out to the floor before kicking Zayn in the back for two. A legdrop in the ropes gives Kidd two and Neville gets knocked off the apron as a bonus. Kidd’s running dropkick in the Tree of Woe gets two on Zayn and we hit the chinlock. Neville finally comes back in to break it up (because a chinlock needs to be broken up) but Breeze takes Neville down. Zayn is back up as Neville hits a top rope springboard moonsault to take out the villains.

Neville’s big handspring elbow is countered into…I’m not sure but it’s kind of a backdrop. Kidd catapults Zayn into Neville but can’t get Zayn in the Sharpshooter. He can however kick Zayn in the head, only for Breeze to come back in with some Supermodel Kicks for two each. Breeze takes Neville up top, with Kidd joining Breeze, meaning Zayn can come in to make it a Tower Of Doom.

Zayn gets two and then erupts on Kidd in the corner. Neville gets a boot up to stop a charging Zayn in the corner, setting up the Red Arrow. Breeze steals the cover for two and the freak out on the near fall is great. Kidd is back up with a Sharpshooter on Breeze, with Neville having to dive in to stop the tap, leaving Zayn to make the save. Zayn exploders Kidd into the corner before sending Neville over the barricade. The diving DDT takes Breeze out on the floor again and the Helluva Kick hits Kidd…but Neville pulls the referee at two. Neville takes Zayn out and the Red Arrow retains the title at 24:12.

Rating: B+. I was kind of expecting this one to be included and I’m glad that it was. This was around the time when NXT was becoming a major force and that made for some interesting matches such as this one. If nothing else, it makes me sad to see how far Tyler Breeze fell, as he should have been a much bigger deal than he was after such a great run on NXT.

From the 2019 Royal Rumble Kickoff Show.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Akira Tozawa vs. Hideo Itami vs. Buddy Murphy

Murphy is defending and they trade the early rollups to start. Tozawa gets a Black Widow on Murphy but Kalisto is in for a rather springboardy hurricanrana. Murphy blocks it with raw power but gets dropkicked outside by Tozawa. Back up and Murphy pulls Kalisto’s dive out of the air for a suplex onto the floor.

That leaves Itami in the ring for the showdown, with Murphy coming in to trade kicks to the back. Itami wins a slugout and stomps him down in the corner, meaning it’s time to scream a lot. Tozawa and Kalisto are back up with some dives to take Murphy down, leaving Itami as the only one standing. Kalisto is back up to catapult Tozawa onto Murphy on the floor for quite the landing.

Back in and Kalisto strikes away for two on Itami as things slow back down a bit. Tozawa and Murphy take their place with Murphy down, only for Itami to break up the top rope backsplash. Tozawa’s hurricanrana driver plants Itami and Tozawa follows with a big dive to the floor. Murphy is back up with a big running flip dive onto everyone else, followed by a nasty sitout powerbomb to Kalisto.

Tozawa makes the save but Murphy rolls through a high crossbody. That’s fine with Tozawa, who poisonranas Murphy for two, with Itami stealing the near fall. The Salida Del Sol gives Kalisto two on Itami, meaning it’s time for the four way slugout. Itami and Murphy are left standing with Murphy getting the better of things, including Murphy’s Law to retain at 12:04.

Rating: B. This was a good choice for the last match before the show started as it was about throwing a bunch of people out there and letting them go nuts. Murphy was feeling it as champion at this point as he didn’t wrestle like a cruiserweight and that made things all the better for him. Tozawa wasn’t a total goof yet either and Kalisto had some chops of his own, making this a nice mixture of talent.

From Monday Night Raw, December 1, 1997.

D’Lo Brown vs. Miguel Perez Jr. vs. Chainz vs. Recon

Elimination rules. This is from Gang Warz so there are all kinds of people at ringside. Brown hammers on Chainz to start but Chainz is back with some elbows. Recon (Bull Buchanan) comes in with a hurricanrana, which has Cornette impressed. Brown comes back in to drop Recon and it’s back to Chainz to hammer away a bit. A big boot staggers Recon and Brown punches him into Chainz’s Death Valley Driver for the pin at 2:09.

Brown comes in and gets clotheslined down so it’s off to Perez, who is knocked down just as fast. A quick rollup gives Perez the pin on Brown at 3:14 and we’re down to one on one. The Death Valley Driver connects but everyone comes in and the match is thrown out at 3:37.

Rating: D+. What in the world was the point of adding this? I was thinking the collection was ending with the cruiserweight match and then some angle but instead we get this tacked on mess which doesn’t even have a winner. It’s such a weird way to go and it’s not like this was anything memorable. It’s certainly out of nowhere though and that’s kind of the fun from something like this.

The big brawl ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was MUCH better than I was expecting, as it was one of the collections that I was dreading and it wound up being a lot of fun. The thing that makes these collections work is how much they mix things up and that’s what you got here, with some stuff from different promotions and a variety of eras. I had fun with this and it was one of the nicer surprises. It’s not my favorite format, but they made this work, even without an entry from the FATAL FOUR WAY pay per view. Even WWE forgot about that mess.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,133
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Survivor Series and now that the Smackdown main event has been announced, you have to expect the Raw counterpart will be set up soon. The big story tonight is a one night reunion of D-Generation X, as HHH needs some help deal with Randy Orton and Umaga. Sounds Survivor Seriesish to me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Fabulous Moolah.

Opening sequence.

Here is D-Generation X to get things going. After a fairly long entrance, HHH says this is for one night only and asks if we’re ready. The catchphrase is loaded up but a crotch chopping Hornswoggle interrupts. HHH: “Well that’s…different.” HHH tells him to get back under the ring but Hornswoggle doesn’t listen. Shawn is asked for a run sheet and, after going through all of his merchandise, finds said sheet in his boot (Shawn: “In case I forget what I’m supposed to do.”).

The sheet says DX PROMO in segment one at 9PM (HHH: “East coast time.”) and Hornswoggle isn’t on until the short segment. Hornswoggle then armdrags Shawn into an armscissors (with HHH pointing out that it is the SHORT armscissors). Shawn: “I’m going to make a judgment call here: for tonight, he’s in.”. Hornswoggle doesn’t want to go under the ring because there’s a monster under there.

Shawn goes to look….and is pulled under. He comes back up with worms in his mouth so here is the Boogeyman. HHH hands him a mic, with Boogeyman saying “I’M THE BOOGEYMAN, AND I’M COMING TO…..see if I can join DX.” Shawn makes another executive decision and lets Boogeyman in again so here is Great Khali as a bonus. Shawn: “To keep me from turning into a human Slim Jim, let’s pretend he isn’t here and move on.” HHH goes into an Indian impression that would get him thrown off the air today but now it’s Coach interrupting.

HHH isn’t having this and tells Runjin Singh what Coach said about Khali earlier. Shawn, who CAN’T LIE, backs HHH up and Khali chases Coach to the floor. Everyone else leaves, with Shawn saying he doesn’t know who writes this anymore but this is the worst thing he’s seen since that Katie Vick thing. HHH: “I don’t think anyone writes this crap. They’re on strike.” Catchphrases are hit to wrap up the wackiness.

Actor Luke Perry is here. There are some kids around him, and if one of those is his son, we have seen the wrestling debut of the future Jungle Boy.

We look back at Kelly Kelly winning last week’s Halloween battle royal and getting destroyed by Beth Phoenix after.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Non-title and Phoenix grabs a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin in less than a minute. Well so much for Kelly for the time being, which is how it should go in this situation.

Santino Marella knows that Steve Austin will be here tonight and mocks Austin’s acting abilities. He even throws in a paper bag, so Austin can act his way out of it.

Carlito vs. Joey Munoz

Hold on though as Carlito says he isn’t wrestling so here is a replacement.

Snitsky vs. Joey Munoz

Pumphandle slam finishes Munoz in about thirty seconds.

Post match Snitsky kicks Carlito in the face and gives him the pumphandle slam too. Time for another Snitsky push it seems.

We get a Jeff Hardy video set to Rooftops by Lostprophets. This is actually on Peacock despite it being a music video and the Lostprophets singer being a monster. That aside, this is a heck of a video, with the lyrics about screaming and dropping bombs being timed to shots of fans screaming for Hardy and Swantons. You can tell something big is coming for him and that is a very good idea. Ignore Jerry Lawler being heard asking “how long is it” after the video starts.

For Survivor Series: Team HHH (HHH/CM Punk/Kane/Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy) vs. Team Umaga (Umaga/MVP/Mr. Kennedy/Finlay/Big Daddy V).

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio/Jeff Hardy

JR dubs Hardy and Mysterio as the WWE Air Force. Hardy and Finlay go to the mat to start until a Kennedy distraction lets Finlay hit a clothesline to the floor. We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a springboard crossbody on Kennedy, only to have him run Mysterio over.

It’s Finlay coming back in to go after the knee, including a half crab. The legdrop onto the knee makes it worse and Kennedy adds a right hand for two. Mysterio is back with something like a DDT, allowing the hot tag off to Hardy to clean house. The Whisper in the Wind hits Kennedy but Finlay makes the save. Rey 619s Finlay to the floor, leaving Hardy to hit the Swanton for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty standard midcard tag match here with the wrestlers involved being good enough to make almost anything work. Mysterio vs. Finlay is set up for a blowoff on Friday while Hardy vs. Kennedy seems to have run its course. That being said, throw in the video package before the match and it is hard to imagine they are waiting much longer on giving Hardy the main event push, which seems to have been set up for a few weeks now.

Maria tries to tell Santino Marella that Steve Austin is here but he doesn’t buy it.

Here are Maria and Santino Marella for a chat. Santino mocks the Condemned, then he mocks the Condemned’s director, then he mocks the Condemned again, then Steve Austin comes out. Austin corrects Santino’s errors in his catchphrases and then asks about the Condemned again. Santino really did hate the movie and turns down a beer, saying he would rather have a glass of red wine. Austin hands him a copy of the Condemned but Santino can’t watch it again.

There’s the Stunner, allowing Austin to put the DVD in Santino’s mouth. Austin thinks Santino is thirsty and goes to the back before coming out driving a beer truck. Santino gets sprayed down and, despite her begging, so does Maria. Beer is consumed to wrap up a segment that wasn’t funny and felt pretty out of character for Austin. I know he needs to promote a DVD, but that just doesn’t feel like an Austin thing.

SAVE US!

Vince McMahon is in the back with Hornswoggle and takes the blame for the trouble Hornswoggle has had with Jonathan Coachman. McMahon even has a way for Hornswoggle to prove himself at Survivor Series…..when he faces Great Khali.

Survivor Series rundown.

HHH is in the back and has been asked to talk because they need to fill in time while Steve Austin’s mess is cleaned up. Shawn Michaels comes in to say he has it set, so here are the DX Dancers….which is Big Dick Johnson. HHH isn’t impressed but Shawn says he’s a father of two so the only cool thing he knows is Dora the Explorer. Don’t worry though as HHH has The Girls Next Door (from a Playboy reality show, meaning Shawn leaves with his eyes covered). Dancing ensues and it’s very strange to see HHH…..I guess it’s dancing but I’m not sure.

Lance Cade sends Mickie James away for talking to Trevor Murdoch.

Trevor Murdoch vs. Cody Rhodes

Ignore Lilian Garcia saying Lance Cade (at ringside) is in the match by mistake. Hardcore Holly is here too and Rhodes is sent to the apron to start, where he gets in a shoulder to the ribs. Murdoch breaks that up and takes him down for a chinlock as Lawler and JR make as many redneck jokes as they can. Rhodes fights up and hits a bulldog into a knee drop for two but Cade’s distraction fails. Murdoch misses a charge into the corner though and Rhodes grabs a sunset flip for the pin. Not much to this one but Rhodes wins again.

Tribute video to Fabulous Moolah. This includes a rundown of her career highlights, such as becoming the first woman to wrestle in Madison Square Garden. I guess she wrestled herself that night.

Jim Duggan/Super Crazy vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Before the match, Duggan and Crazy chant SI/HO over and over. Haas knocks Crazy over to start and hits a slam before handing it off to Benjamin. More slamming abounds as Duggan continues to play cheerleader on the apron. Benjamin knocks Duggan off the apron but Crazy grabs a rollup (with trunks) for the pin. Duggan never tagged in but he does pat Crazy on the head after the win.

Umaga/Randy Orton vs. D-Generation X

It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Orton being sent into the announcers’ table before being thrown inside. Umaga comes in to miss a sitdown splash on Michaels, allowing HHH to grab a surprisingly effective DDT. HHH gets knocked outside though and we take a break. Back with Umaga missing a charge in the corner, allowing the tag off to Orton. That’s fine with HHH, who drops Orton almost immediately.

Michaels comes back in for the usual comeback, including the forearm and top rope elbow. Umaga isn’t having that and runs Shawn over, allowing Orton to bring Umaga in for real. Some right hands keep Shawn down in the corner and it’s back to Orton for a dropkick. The circle stomp sets up the running Umaga splash and we’re off to the nerve hold.

The middle rope headbutt misses and an enziguri to the shoulder (not sure that’s how that works) allows the hot tag back to HHH. Everything breaks down and Umaga saves Orton from the Pedigree with the Spike, setting up the running hip attack in the corner. The RKO is countered with a shove into Umaga though and Shawn comes in for a quick superkick to pin Orton.

Rating: C+. Much like the other tag match, they played the formula here and it still works, as everyone involved can do this style rather well. Shawn vs. Orton II should be a good showdown at Survivor Series, while Umaga vs. HHH at least has the team format to keep things a little more fresh. The DX reunion was good for a night, but I don’t need to see it again going forward.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m not sure what this show was but it didn’t exactly work. Maybe it is due to Survivor Series coming up so soon, but this felt like a weird side trip rather than a show designed to help set up the pay per view. There were so many short matches that didn’t add much and it was a weird night all around. The DX reunion was fun but the Austin cameo fell pretty flat, leaving this as a not very appealing two hours. Much more strange than good this week and that isn’t a positive thing.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: October 30, 2007
Location: Nassau Coliseum, New York City, New York
Attendance: 12,300
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the Halloween special and this time around that means we have the Monster Mash four man battle royal between Kane, Great Khali, Mark Henry and Big Daddy V. They are leaning heavily into the freak show idea here and that is not a bad idea. I could go for seeing what else they have going on here now that Cyber Sunday is gone so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a Halloween themed intro, set to something that is in no way similar to a certain Halloween novelty song about a holiday themed dance.

Opening sequence.

Elijah Burke vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Before the match, Burke mocks Yang for being a working class guy. Yang slugs away to start but gets sent to the apron and then out to the floor (where there is some spooky smoke for some atmosphere). Burke starts in on the arm and grabs an armbar back inside, setting up a shoulder breaker. Another armbar doesn’t work that well but Burke is kicked out of the air. That’s about it for Yang’s offense though as he is sent into the corner for the Elijah Express and the pin.

Rating: C-. Little more than a squash for Burke here, which is a good idea as he hasn’t had much going on lately. Sometimes you need to just keep him warm and that’s all they were going for here. At least Yang is some fresh blood around here, even if he isn’t likely to go that far.

Video on Kane.

Raw Rebound.

Nunzio is a vampire and scares a bunch of kids but has them come with him. They go trick or treating to Balls Mahoney (in a cage, not in a costume), CM Punk (behind a KEEP OUT door, again not in a costume), and finally the Boogeyman, who scares Nunzio off and gives the kids worms.

Nunzio vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and it’s Dracula vs. Paul Heyman. Dreamer knocks him down to start and sends Nunzio flying off the apron. A pie to the face rocks Nunzio again as commentary isn’t sure what to make of this. Back in and a really big cell phone to the head sets up an apple bowl to the face, followed by the DDT for the pin. Commentary still can’t figure out who Dreamer is supposed to be.

Rating: C. The important thing here is they didn’t waste a lot of time on a joke that was only so funny in the first place. Commentary not being able to say Heyman was kind of amusing and it isn’t like beating Nunzio is going to matter that much. I chuckled a few times here and wasn’t annoyed so call that a win.

Video on Great Khali.

We look back at the Divas Halloween costume battle royal from Raw, with Kelly Kelly winning.

Miz vs. John Morrison

The winner gets an ECW Title shot. Feeling out process to start with Miz slapping him in the face, sending Morrison into a charge. Said charge is cut off by a drop toehold as Miz seems to be getting smarter by the week. Miz blocks a neck snap across the top and kicks Morrison hard into the barricade. Back in and the springboard kick to the face misses for Morrison, allowing Miz to hit the running corner clothesline for two. The Reality Check misses as well though and Morrison is right back with the corkscrew neckbreaker for the fast pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Yeah it’s Morrison getting the title shot again, which isn’t exactly a thrilling concept. Morrison has been the main challenger for the title more than once and it would have been nice to see something changed up. That being said, it isn’t like there is anyone else to go after Punk at the moment so this is kind of the only thing they can do at the moment.

Video on Mark Henry.

Video on Big Daddy V.

CM Punk vs. James Curtis

Non-title and John Morrison is on commentary. Curtis drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs as Morrison isn’t all that impressed by Punk. After fighting out of the corner, Punk kicks away, setting up the bulldog and the springboard clothesline. The GTS finishes in a hurry.

Post match Morrison jumps Punk to leave him laying. The title match is next week as ECW continues its search for some new title contenders.

Monster Mash Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Kane, Great Khali, Big Daddy V

Everyone goes after Kane to start but he ducks underneath them until Henry and V collide for a double knockdown. Khali kicks Kane down and is the only one standing for a bit. Back up and Henry just lifts Khali off the mat (geez) before V seems to drop Kane on what was supposed to be the swinging Boss Man Slam. V splashes Henry into Khali in the corner but misses a charge at Kane and gets eliminated. Henry and Kane clothesline Khali out and we’re down to two. Kane can’t dump Henry but he can kick him in the face and go up top. The top rope clothesline is pulled out of the air though and Henry throws him out for the win.

Rating: C. Sometimes you need a fun main event and that’s all they went for here. Henry being pushed as the next monster should work out as he could be an interesting challenger to Punk if that is where they want to go. What we got here was a fun change of pace, but it does kind of feel like a match that they put on because they didn’t have anything else worthy of a main event.

Overall Rating: C. They kind of punted this week, with the Punk vs. Morrison match being the only thing they set up for the future. That’s not a bad idea here though as it was around a holiday and they were coming off of a pay per view, so have a little fun instead of going through with what would have been another lackluster show. ECW still needs to get some better talent in place, but they also need some better stories because this is only so interesting of a show week to week.

 

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s time for the biggest night of the year and this time around it has been rather fun. The Raw side has been a heck of a build while the Smackdown side has been hit and miss at best. This is one of the more forgotten Wrestlemanias (given that the image on the poster was of John Cena vs. Booker T., a match which hadn’t taken place in over a year at this point, you can kind of tell that they aren’t caring all that much) and it’s also the last one to date in a regular arena. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Goldust, Snitsky, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Psicosis, Funaki, Steven Richards, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Animal, William Regal, Simon Dean

Half from Raw and half from Smackdown, so yes they are wearing the designated shirts. Dean tries to do his intro and gets kicked in the face for the immediate elimination. Richards gets rid of Conway and Funaki goes out as well. There goes Cade, followed by Goldust getting rid of Richards. Striker is out too and there go Crazy and Goldust as the ring is cleared out in a hurry. Snitsky gets rid of Regal and MNM dumps Eugene after a Snapshot.

We get the Raw vs. Smackdown showdown and Murdoch and Psicosis go out back to back. We’re down to Viscera, MNM, Snitsky, Tomko and Animal with Viscera and Animal being the targets for the other four. Viscera misses a charge in the corner but beats up MNM without much trouble. That means a double Visagra (Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!” What in the world could that possibly mean in this context?) and Melina is nearly sick. It gets even worse as Viscera tosses MNM to get us down to four.

Snitsky kicks Tomko out by mistake and the LOD chants start back up. A big boot to Animal lets Viscera get rid of him, much to the crowd’s annoyance. Snitsky misses a running big boot though and Viscera wins without touching Snitsky at all. Cole: “I was hoping that would go on for another 15-20 minutes!” Tazz: “One of the best battle royals I’ve ever been a part of!” They’re bringing the Wrestlemania level snark this year.

Rating: D. Yeah this was horrible but the whole point was to get the undercard on the roster. I’m not sure on the logic of having the Chicago guy get all the way to the final three and then have him lose for the sake of Viscera, but I guess they don’t want a heel winning to open the show. Not that it would have mattered as it would have been one of the pops of the night, but it’s not worth getting annoyed about in the first place as it was a six minute battle royal before the feature presentation begins.

Post match Viscera kisses Lilian, who doesn’t seem thrilled.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America the Beautiful. You know they’re getting in those American visuals every year and this is no exception.

The opening video looks at some great Wrestlemania moments over I Dare You by Shinedown. I like the song so this is a pretty good combination. They switch over to another song and the matches for this year’s show. That’s a nice mix that they tend to do well most years.

The posters of wrestlers around the top of the arena are a nice touch.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show/Kane are defending and we get the always awesome visual of the city set being on fire during Kane’s entrance. Masters shoulders Kane down to start as JR says this is the first tradition two on two tag match for these titles since Wrestlemania XV. How do you go that long without doing the normal version? Kane is back up with a leapfrog into a dropkick and it’s off to Show for the loud chops in the corner. A poke to the eye allows the tag off to Carlito, who gets a HECK of a reception (one of the loudest reactions I’ve ever seen for him), though Show throws both he and Masters around with ease.

Carlito gets gorilla pressed over the top onto Masters (seemingly elbowing him in the face on the way down) and Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and a double flapjack actually gets two on Show, with the replay showing a ram into an exposed buckle had something to do with it. Kane gets the tag so Show has to break up the Masterlock. Everything breaks down and Masters saves Carlito from the chokeslam. Masters hits Carlito by mistake when trying to save him again, meaning Kane can boot Masters to the floor. Not the chokeslam can hit Carlito to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. It was basically a more energetic Raw match and that works well enough for a Wrestlemania opener. I tend to like something like this more than some white hot match to open the show as it means you can go up from here. Carlito and Masters hadn’t been treated as threats to the title coming into the show so it makes sense for them to be little more than an annoyance here.

Post match, Carlito and Masters argue, with the fans being entirely behind Carlito. No violence ensues though.

Shawn Michaels, with a bandage on his head, says he doesn’t regret saying that Vince McMahon needed to grow up. Last year he and Kurt Angle tore the house down and the year before that, he did the same thing with Chris Benoit and HHH. Tonight, Shawn is going to be a different version of himself. Tonight, Vince McMahon needs to bow down and pray because Shawn is taking him to his own personal h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Rob Van Dam

Money in the Bank, allowing Cole to get in his first (to be fair in this case, minor) slip up of the night by saying Edge cashed in after John Cena’s Armageddon match. It’s a big brawl to start and the fans are behind Van Dam early on. Hardy goes for the first ladder but Van Dam takes him down with a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy for the crash. A ladder is bridged against the ropes so Shelton gets a running start for a huge flip dive to take down all of the young people.

Flair and Finlay fight in the ring (go on) but Matt comes in for the save with a superplex to bring Flair off the ladder (egads man). So Flair screams a lot and gets the X treatment (thanks to his knee), meaning we’re going to be down a person after about two and a half minutes. Lashley goes up top but Shelton grabs a sunset bomb. He can’t get Lashley down though so Finlay and Hardy go into the hurt business to bring Lashley crashing to the mat. Hardy crushes Finlay with the ladder in the corner until Finlay throws it back at him.

Finlay loads up the ladder but here’s Flair (after about three minutes away) to cut him off. Chops abound and Flair goes up again until Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh, making Flair take another bump he shouldn’t be taking. The briefcase is swinging back and forth so Finlay can’t pull it down, allowing Shelton to go up as well. Lashley breaks that up and hits the Dominator on Benjamin, so Van Dam has to dropkick a chair into Lashley for the save.

Matt’s screaming legdrop from the ladder hits Lashley but he has to Side Effect Finlay off the ladder. Finlay gets knocked down as well though and Rob hits a splash off the very top of the ladder for the big crash. Van Dam goes up so Shelton does the always insane springboard onto the top of the ladder (because he can just do that) and hammers away. Matt brings in another ladder and climbs up to slug away at Shelton, who steps over to the other ladder. Rob shoves them both over for the big crash to the floor (always looks great) though and pulls down the briefcase to win.

Rating: B. This was good but not quite up to the standard that the big ladder matches have. It wasn’t all that long either and they didn’t have time to build much up. Shelton got in the big, impressive spots but there were enough high level bumps to go around. Van Dam and Flair were the only realistic winners here too so they picked one of the best options. Not as good as the others, but it still did what it was supposed to do.

New Hall of Famer Gene Okerlund is interrupted by Randy Orton, who doesn’t think much of someone who held a microphone for thirty five years. He promises to win the Smackdown World Title tonight but here’s Batista to say whoever leaves as champion is just holding it for him. Next year, he’s going to be champion at Wrestlemania XXIII.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class, minus Bret Hart, who was not comfortable with appearing.

Gene Okerlund (No one did it better.)

Sensational Sherri (How was she not in already?)

Tony Atlas (He always seems happy to be around.)

Verne Gagne (Doesn’t mean anything directly to WWE, but you don’t have a wrestling Hall of Fame without him.)

William Perry (Sure, but he couldn’t get a suit? Or a tie? Or a shirt that tucked in?)

The Blackjacks (Again, how were they not in already?)

Eddie Guerrero (Yep.)

Vickie Guerrero looks rather overcome by the reception in a touching moment.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the ramp raises up so the limo can drive in. After commentary can manage to stop talking about Jillian’s cowgirl look, they bring up JBL wanting to prove that he can beat another great technical wrestler after Eddie Guerrero. They go straight to the slugout to start until Benoit drop toeholds him to try the Crossface. JBL is able to block it so Benoit headbutts him in the back of the head, which is a rather intense next step.

Some forearms to the neck keep JBL in trouble and a chop takes him down again. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter though and JBL bails to the floor to hide behind Jillian. Back in and JBL hammers him down in the corner until he misses a charge, allowing Benoit to roll the German suplexes. JBL crotches him on top though and hits the Eddie dance for some good mocking. The superplex brings Benoit down in a crash, allowing JBL to dance some more. He even hits two Amigos before having to boot Benoit in the face to cut off the comeback.

We hit the chinlock but Benoit fights up with more suplexes. The Swan Dive gets a close two but JBL blocks another Crossface attempt. He also blocks a German suplex with a grab of the rope and the referee, allowing him to….actually not cheat. Instead the Clothesline From JBL is countered into the Crossface, which is countered into a cradle (with a grab of the rope) to give JBL the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This has always been a bit of a weird one for me as JBL wasn’t exactly a hot challenger coming in but he did pick up the title, which reheated him in a hurry. He wasn’t going to make it back to the World Title anytime soon (or ever, as he didn’t need it), but he needed to win something instead of losing over and over again. This was good enough though and it’s hardly a stretch to see JBL win a match over Benoit.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge accused Foley of costing him the Raw World Title and wanted to beat him down, so Foley agreed to a fight. Foley wanted that one Wrestlemania moment and Edge is starting to realize that he might be in over his head.

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Hardcore match, Joey Styles joins commentary, Lita is here with Edge and Foley’s flannel shirt is buttoned up for a change. Edge has a bat to start but the early swings miss and Edge drops it to the floor. Foley slugs away in the corner and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe for the running elbow to the face. Lita throws in a metal sign though and it goes upside Foley’s head over and over. The spear hits early….and Edge is in a lot of pain, as Foley opens up the shirt to reveal a band of barbed wire wrapped around his stomach.

Foley cuts himself free and ties Edge in the ropes, meaning it’s time to grab the barbed wire bat. Lita tries for the save so it’s the Cactus Clothesline to Edge, sending all three outside in the process. Foley is certainly bringing it early on. A neckbreaker on the floor drops Edge and Foley pounds him down but his charge is hiptossed into the steps for a REALLY painful looking crash. There go Foley’s knees into the steps and it’s time for a chair. Edge loads up a table on the floor but Foley rolls off before Edge can come off the top.

Instead Edge slams him head first into the steel ramp (for a SICK thud)….and it’s time for the lighter fluid. Edge covers Foley in the fluid but gets piledriven for two. Foley grabs the chair but a Lita distraction lets Edge hit a DDT. Foley is busted and the barbed wire bat to the head makes it even worse. It’s time for the thumbtacks but Foley slams Edge (with no shirt) down onto them for the really big reaction.

A barbed wire Mandible Claw goes on and now it’s Edge being hit with the barbed wire bat over and over. Now it’s time for Foley to spray the table with lighter fluid but Lita hits Foley in the knee with the barbed wire bat. The table is set on fire and Edge hits the spear through the ropes and through the fire for the pin.

Rating: A. What is there to say about this? They massacred each other and Foley bled all over the place before taking a huge bump to end the match. This was a different side of Edge and it’s the side that needed to be shown to make him feel like more than a flash in the pan. This felt like two people wanting to hurt each other and then getting to do so, as Foley continues to know how to make someone into a much bigger star than almost anyone else.

Edge and Lita looking like they’re in physical shock after the match makes it a lot better.

With that out of the way, it’s time for Booker T. and Sharmell to be scared of the Boogeyman. Booker insists that he isn’t a freak magnet and runs into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase not letting Eugene dribble a basketball to win money, Snitsky doing…something to Mae Young’s foot as Moolah watches, and Goldust dressed as Oprah. Goldust says they’re all freaks and the only way to beat the Boogeyman is to put the worms in his…and it’s whispered in Booker’s ear. A ticked off Booker leaves with Sharmell.

Some fans won tickets to the show from Snickers.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker makes Sharmell start, jumps Boogeyman from behind, and then comes in to hammer on Boogeyman. The comeback doesn’t take long and Booker is sent into the post. Boogeyman eats some worms and stares at Sharmell for trying a staff shot to the back. Sharmell gets kissed with the worms and runs off, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin.

Rating: F. Of course this is a failure as there isn’t anything to be praised here. It was the three of them doing a short, bad match and the big deal was Sharmell getting a mouth full of worms. There isn’t much else to it than that and the fact that this aired at Wrestlemania at any point after about 1991 tells you why it’s a failure.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James for the Women’s Title. Mickie is a psycho who was obsessed with Trish (they never said the word lesbian but that’s what they were going for) but Trish wasn’t interested. Once Mickie was flat out turned down, she completely snapped and decided to take the Women’s Title instead. This feels like a big fight and that’s a good thing around here.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending. They fight over a lockup to start as JR tries to diagnose Mickie’s mental state. The Thesz press (JR: “Maybe the Louise Thesz press.”) puts Mickie down but she comes back with a kick, only to be thrown into the splits. A baseball slide puts Mickie on the floor but Trish kicks the post by mistake. Mickie wraps the leg around the post in a smart move and there’s a dropkick to the knee to make it worse.

The fans get behind Mickie and she wraps the leg around the ropes. The half crab goes on before it’s time to stomp on the leg in the corner. Mickie stops to soak in the cheers and bends the leg some more. This time Trish reverses into the spinning anklescissors but the fans aren’t happy with the comeback. The Stratusphere is countered with another slam of the leg to the mat as Lawler notices that Mickie’s skirt isn’t the most functional in a match.

Trish comes back with a Stratusfaction attempt but Mickie grabs her between the legs (on the Network) and licks her own hand (not on the Network) as JR loses it. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but she either leaves it short or Trish can’t hold her on the knee, meaning they botch it horribly (also not on the Network). Mickie settles for the Chick Kick for the pin and the title. JR: “THE NUT JOB HAS WON THE TITLE!”

Rating: B-. This was getting really good near the end but then the botch happened and it stopped everything cold. The leg stuff was good and while it would have made more sense to have Trish’s knee give out when she was trying the Stratusfaction, it worked for a story in the match as Mickie knew how to break the thing down. More importantly though, Mickie FINALLY ends Trish’s year long plus reign and becomes the new star, which is long overdue. They needed to have the title change here as Trish had run out of gas a long time ago but it wasn’t like she had anyone good enough to drop it to.

Vince McMahons has the rest of the family drop to their knees in prayer before his match with Shawn. Vince: “God, let’s face it. I don’t like you, and you don’t like me.” Vince praises his own physique and promises to end Shawn.

Mark Henry vs. Undertaker

Casket match and the druids take their time wheeling the casket to ringside. Undertaker does the full entrance and Henry manages to keep glaring at him before jumping him to start things off. Some running clotheslines don’t do much to Henry so he runs Undertaker over with a single shot. They head outside with both guys going head first into the steps. The fans are in am ore traditional role here with the Undertaker cheers, which are cut off when Henry blocks Old School.

A low blow saves Undertaker from going into the casket and now it’s time to go after the arm. Old School connects this time but he still can’t get Henry down. Henry runs him over again but misses the running crotch attack and gets dropped into the casket. Undertaker follows him in and the lid closes before opening up with Undertaker’s hand around Henry’ throat.

They get back inside with Henry hitting the World’s Strongest Slam and covering because he isn’t that bright. Speaking of not that bright, Henry hammers away in the corner but gets planted with the Last Ride. Undertaker throws him onto and over the casket, setting up the Taker Dive (which barely clears the casket). Back in and a pretty impressive Tombstone lets Undertaker put him in the casket for the win.

Rating: D. Another one which didn’t work so well, mainly because there was no drama. Who was believing that Mark Henry was going to be the one to break the Streak? The Taker Dive and Tombstone both looked great but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that it was Mark Henry trying to break the Streak. It had no drama and wasn’t even that long, leaving this near the bottom end of the Streak (at least once it became a big deal).

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Shawn told Vince that it was time to get over the Montreal Screwjob and grow up so Vince decided to destroy Shawn once and for all. He has done a great job of making Shawn miserable and now it is time for Shawn to FINALLY get his hands on Vince in a no holds barred match.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No Holds Barred and there is a big framed copy of Vince’s Muscle and Fitness Magazine at ringside. Shawn jumps him to start and sends him into JR as the WE WANT BRET chants begin. The framed magazine goes around Vince’s head and Shawn is all ticked off. Cue the Spirit Squad to beat Shawn down though and hit the five man toss into the air. JR: “Someone get the hook!” Shawn gets their megaphone (which is smoking/powdery for some reason) and beats them down though, which sends them off for some reason.

Vince, now bleeding above the eye, gets in a clothesline to take over and it’s time to choke in the corner. The leather belt rips Shawn’s back up and it’s time to choke. Vince actually tunes up the band but Shawn blocks the kick (which had height but was nowhere near the right form) and hammers away. JR: “How are your stock dividends now???” The top rope elbow connects but here’s Shane with a kendo stick to take Shawn down. Always one to rub it in, Vince drops his pants but Shawn puts Shane’s face into it instead, followed by a low blow to Vince.

A clothesline puts Shane on the floor but that’s not enough, as Shawn handcuffs Shane to the rope. The Shane dance sets up a bunch of kendo stick shots to Shane and there’s a heck of a chair shot to Vince’s head. Lawler: “CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!” Vince is busted open and Shawn tunes up the band….before stopping cold. Instead he goes outside and grabs a ladder, which goes straight into Vince’s forehead.

Shawn still won’t cover as he grabs some trashcans and a table instead, even shoving Shane away to get to them. The trashcan to the head drops Vince again and Shawn goes up the ladder. Then he climbs back down and pulls out the BIG ladder. Shawn climbs again, does the suck it sign, and elbows Vince through the table for the huge crash. Medics bring a stretcher out but Shawn scares them off, stands Vince up, yells a lot, and finishes with the superkick.

Rating: C+. Of course it’s junk as an actual match, but this was exactly what they set it up to be. There is no reason to believe that Vince can hang with Shawn in a regular match so he didn’t really come close. Vince brought in a bunch of people, Shawn beat them up and then the beating began. Shawn destroyed him completely (or at least until the next night on Raw, or maybe a week later if they’re feeling generous) and it made sense. Might have gone a little long, but it was the logical way to go.

Post match Vince is taken out on a stretcher and still flips Shawn off. Cole talks about how Shawn promised to never go back to his old self but did it here. Not exactly, as it was just Shawn being violent and aggressive, which isn’t quite what they were talking about on the way here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. Rey won the Royal Rumble to earn the title shot but Orton talked enough trash to get him to put the shot on the line at No Way Out. Orton cheated to win, but Teddy Long put Rey in the match too, making it a triple threat.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and POD plays Rey, in an Aztec warrior costume this year, to the ring. Orton jumps Angle with the belt before the bell to start but Angle is right back in with a German suplex to Orton, plus a double German to both of them at once (with Rey flying through the air). An overhead belly to belly takes Orton over as well but Rey sends Angle face first into Orton’s crotch.

Angle is fine enough to send Rey up for a super hurricanrana to Orton before throwing Rey outside. Rey breaks up the ankle lock attempt and kicks Angle in the head for two as the fans are split between Rey and Kurt. The 619 is countered into the ankle lock and Rey taps (less than four minutes in) but the referee is with Orton. The German suplexes take down both challengers and an Angle Slam to the floor drops Rey in a heap. That means an ankle lock to Orton but this time Rey grabs the referee so he can’t see a tap.

Rey Drops the Dime on Angle but gets knocked outside again. The RKO connects for a delayed two on Angle and Randy goes up top, earning himself the running belly to belly superplex. Rey is back in with the springboard seated senton for two more on Angle and Orton is back in to kick Angle to the floor. The powerbomb neckbreaker gets two on Rey but the RKO takes too long, allowing Angle to come back in with the Angle Slam on Orton. Rey slips out of the Angle Slam and armdrags Angle to the floor. That leaves Orton to be dropkicked into the ropes for the 619 into the West Coast Pop for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This is still one of the more perplexing big matches in Wrestlemania history as it had no real structure other than them doing moves to each other. Nothing was built up, nothing set up the finish and Rey just pinned Orton to win. It was fine as it was, but I was expecting a lot more, including more time as it didn’t even last ten minutes.

Post match the Guerreros come out to celebrate with Rey.

JR and the King talk about HHH and John Cena being ready for tonight. They needed two minutes for this instead of the other World Title match? Ah right: they needed to put a bed and pillows in the ring. Great way to use the Wrestlemania time.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

It’s the annual Playboy match pillow fight so JR talks about Frank Gotch gate records in Chicago during the entrances. They to to the bed to start and then hit the catfighting. Torrie turns the bed over on her and then puts her dog on Candice’s face. Candice loses her dress and then puts on a headscissors over the ropes while bending backwards over the ropes. A middle rope elbow hits Torrie on the bed and it’s time to cut Torrie out of her dress. Candice pulls out her Playboy but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yeah this happened and that’s about all there is to say about it. They were there to promote Playboy and it worked well enough, even though the Playboy Diva is usually a face and someone who wins but not quite this time around. It wasn’t exactly a match of course, but why would you expect anything else?

We see clips of the Wrestlemania press conference, with HHH saying the match against John Cena will be easy and Cena saying not so fast. HHH won a tournament to get the shot so there isn’t much of a story.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and HHH, sitting on a throne in a Thor/Conan motif (the announcers say Conan but he had a big hammer), rises out from the stage. Cena on the other hand comes out after a gangster video and following an old car, complete with CM Punk as a machine gun toting gangster in one of the more well known Before They Were Famous cameos. Still as close as he ever got to the Wrestlemania main event. We get an old school weapons check as JR puts over the idea of the grunt vs. the seasons, trained professional to give us a good story to the match.

They fight over the arm control to start and Cena is sent into the corner for some frustration. The fans are almost entirely behind HHH here, or at least the loud ones are. The FU doesn’t work and they stare each other down again. Cena is sent outside for a big cheer but he comes back in to slug away. A backdrop gives Cena two and the fisherman’s suplex gets the same.

We’re already into the chinlock as the fans tell Cena that he can’t wrestle. There’s the big whip over the corner to send HHH to the floor and another backdrop puts him on the ramp. Back in and HHH hits the jumping knee for a positive reaction as commentary keeps talking about the crowd reactions. HHH whips him hard into the steps and the fans even pop for him breaking the count.

Back in again and the facebuster into a running clothesline gets two on Cena, with JR calling it a slobberknocker. A pair of neckbreakers gets two more and we hit the neck crank. HHH switches to a sleeper and then a chinlock as JR gets the World Title wrong and has to apologize to Rey Mysterio. Cena fights up and hits his own clothesline before winning the slugout. There’s a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence but the Shuffle is countered with a spinebuster for two more. Another sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex and it’s the Shuffle into the STFU.

HHH finally makes the rope and escapes the FU before sending Cena into the referee in the corner. That means a low blow to both of them, meaning HHH can give us the crotch chop. It’s sledgehammer time and Cena is knocked silly for a delayed two. The FU gets the same and the fans are popping hard on these near falls. Cena misses a high crossbody so HHH tries the Pedigree but Cena pulls him into the STFU, even trapping the arm so HHH can’t make the rope. It takes some time but HHH finally taps and Cena retains.

Rating: A-. That’s the ultimate achievement on Raw and the win that Cena really needed to become THE guy. He had been champion for almost a year straight but still felt somewhat like someone who hadn’t made it all the way to the top yet. Cena had been the guy, but he wasn’t THE guy until this one and that’s a big change.

The match itself was great as you would expect from these two on the big stage. They played up the idea that Cena was in over his head but ground out another win as he tends to do. Cena was getting better at the big matches around this point and of course that would become one of his calling cards down the line. This worked well and felt like a Wrestlemania main event as the company is now Cena’s, which is what matters most.

The celebration and five minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. Just like it did in the buildup, Raw annihilated Smackdown here with the two matches that made the show and a lot of other good stuff in between (plus winning Money in the Bank). Edge vs. Foley and the main event certainly deliver, but the rest of the show isn’t anything great. There are some really bad parts on here but the rest is good enough. That may sound good, but I’d like a little more than “good enough” for Wrestlemania.

The biggest problem here is that there really aren’t many blow away moments. Cena winning was more of a long term deal, Rey winning the title felt more like Eddie’s big farewell, Money in the Bank is all about the future and Trish finally losing is hardly top tier stuff. Shawn getting the win against Vince was nice to see, but that middle finger after the match doesn’t make it seem like a blowoff. The problem here is Smackdown, as there wasn’t much of note other than Rey’s title win. It was a one sided show between the two brands and when the show is built around both, it doesn’t work so well, Good, but forgettable.

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 18, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with Unforgiven, where CM Punk retained the ECW World Title over Elijah Burke. That means we are going to need a fresh challenger but I have no idea who that is going to be. There just aren’t that many stars to come after the title and hopefully they can fix that up somehow soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Elijah Burke for a chat. Burke wants to congratulate CM Punk on retaining the title at Unforgiven but Punk got away with one. If they fought ten times, Punk might win once so Burke will be ready for him next time. Cue Kevin Thorn to say it is time for someone else to get a title shot. Burke’s mouth is why he quit the New Breed and if Burke doesn’t shut up, he’ll make Burke disappear. Thorn sounds like he has mob connections. Cue Tommy Dreamer, who Burke calls a fossil, to say that unlike them, he is a former ECW Champion.

Thorn doesn’t seem to think that means much but here is Stevie Richards to interrupt. Burke: “Who is next? The Blue Meanie?” Dreamer doesn’t want him out here but Richards says he is the only person who didn’t get pinned last week. Cue Armando Estrada to say none of them are getting a title shot. Over the next three weeks, there will be the Elimination Chase To No Mercy, starting with a fatal four way tonight. Four will enter and three will continue on to next week, which we’ll start right now. I’ve heard worse concepts.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards vs. Kevin Thorn vs. Elijah Burke

We’re joined in progress with the four paired off and Dreamer sending Burke into the corner. Thorn runs Dreamer over with a shoulder and sends him outside for a whip into the steps. Burke sends Richards throat first into the bottom rope but the referee is busy with Dreamer. Richards takes Burke down for a kick to the back but Burke is back up with some rolling German suplexes.

Thorn rips Dreamer’s arm against the post as Burke misses a charge in the corner. Richards gets dropped again to give Thorn two as Burke is back up with the handstand elbow drop to Dreamer in the corner. Some kicks to the legs give Richards no count on Thorn as the referee is out of position AGAIN. The villains are sent outside, leaving Richards and Dreamer to go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each.

Dreamer clotheslines Richards over the top and out to the floor but gets decked by Thorn. Burke and Thorn slug it out with Burke knocking him outside, allowing Richards to hit a dive off the steps. That leaves Burke to dive onto both of them but he gets pulled out of the air, allowing Dreamer to hit a dropkick through the ropes to put all three down. We take a break and come back with Richards getting two on Dreamer.

Thorn grabs a torture rack on Burke and drops him down into a backbreaker, only for Dreamer to put Thorn into a Texas Cloverleaf. That’s broken up almost immediately so Richards kicks Thorn in the face. Dreamer adds a DDT for two with Burke making the save. Burke goes up but Richards is right there to chop away at him, with Thorn coming in to make it a Tower of Doom. Dreamer hits a top rope splash on Richards, giving Thorn and Burke the double pin to eliminate Richards from the competition.

Rating: C. The biggest problem here was the refereeing, as there were multiple covers that were completely ignored because the referee was elsewhere. That works every now and them if it is planned, but having it take place over and over just makes things look amateurish. At the same time, Richards being eliminated took a lot of the fun out of this, as he would have made an interesting challenger for Punk. Certainly more interesting than Burke (again).

Post break, Burke comes up to CM Punk and asks him to sign the latest WWE Magazine. That way it can be a collector’s item after he takes the ECW Title from Punk, who isn’t convinced. Punk wishes him luck, but Burke reminds Punk that he said luck is for loses. Punk: “That’s why I said it.”

The Miz brings out Extreme Expose for a performance, with Layla pulling the teddy bear that Balls Mahoney gave to Kelly Kelly in the corner.

Balls Mahoney vs. Mike Knox

Miz and Extreme Expose are here too, including Kelly Kelly with the teddy bear. Knox runs him over to start and hits a quick legdrop to set up the chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Knox kicks him in the face for two instead. We’re right back to the chinlock but Mahoney fights up again and starts the snap jabs. The sitout spinebuster gives Mahoney the fast pin as Knox is already falling back down the card.

Post match, Miz and Extreme Expose go to leave, but Mahoney asks Kelly Kelly on a date. She smiles doesn’t say no, which Mahoney takes as a yes. That doesn’t sound like the best thought process.

Video on Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman, with V being the only person who can crush Boogeyman.

Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman

Matt Striker is here with V. Boogeyman is foaming at the mouth to start so V headbutts him down without much trouble. A running shoulder cuts off Boogeyman’s comeback attempt and they head outside where V runs him over again. There’s a whip into the steps to drop Boogeyman again and V stands on him inside. The neck crank doesn’t last long as Boogeyman fights up and tries the chokebomb for some reason. The swinging Boss Man Slam sets up the big elbow to finish Boogeyman fast.

Rating: D. This is a fine example of “well what were you expecting” as V is the unstoppable monster who gets to run through everyone before someone finally slays him. That is the right way to go as you don’t see too many people like him and Boogeyman is expendable in a spot like this one. The match itself wasn’t the point, but rather making V look like a killer, which is what they did.

Overall Rating: C-. What mattered here was starting up some new things, such as V’s monster push taking a step forward and the Elimination Chase. It might not be great, but it is going to give some of the people something meaningful to do for the next few weeks. That has been missing badly around here and it is a nice relief to see things starting to open up. It wasn’t a great show, but it was an encouraging one after so many fairly lame weeks.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: September 4, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s time for a big showdown as CM Punk is getting his latest title shot against John Morrison for the ECW World Title. This almost has to be the title change, because there is no reason for Punk to lose again. Throw in the fact that there really isn’t anyone else for Morrison to defend against and they almost have to pull the trigger here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at CM Punk becoming #1 contender last week.

Opening sequence.

Boogeyman vs. Matt Striker

Big Daddy V is here with Striker, who describes him as omnipotent. Boogeyman is foaming at the mouth to start so V gets on the apron for a quick distraction. Striker bails to the floor, comes back, and gets knocked right back to the floor. Back in and Boogeyman hits a corner splash before giving chase on the floor….where V clotheslines Boogeyman for the fast DQ.

Post match V crushes Boogeyman to leave him laying.

Armando Estrada tells CM Punk that this is his last chance for the ECW World Title. Estrada says good luck, but Punk says that’s for losers.

We see a clip of Balls Mahoney on Who Wants To Be A Superhero. Of course this is missing from the Peacock version.

Balls Mahoney vs. Miz

Extreme Expose is here with Miz but Kelly Kelly doesn’t seem thrilled with everything. Mahoney starts fast with the left hands in the corner but Miz takes him down, earning some applause from Extreme Expose (Kelly again isn’t impressed). Miz grabs the cravate but Mahoney is right back up with the snap jabs (Kelly approves). Not that it matters as Miz hits the Reality Check for the fast pin.

Post match Miz declares Mahoney the loser of the match so Kelly checks on him. That earns her a stern lecture and she leaves with Miz and the girls.

John Morrison is sick of CM Punk because he is a loser. Punk picks his tattoos out of a coloring books and looks like a Blink 182 groupie who cried himself to sleep when he couldn’t sneak backstage.

Long video on the McMahon Family drama this week on Raw. Next week, Vince’s illegitimate son is revealed.

Kevin Thorn/Elijah Burke vs. Stevie Richards/Tommy Dreamer

Thorn pounds Richards into the corner to start but Richards kicks his way to freedom. It’s off to Dreamer, who gets slammed down to put him in trouble for a change. Burke comes in and, after a cheap shot from Thorn, hits an STO to put Dreamer down again. Thorn pulls Dreamer into a chinlock which doesn’t last very long as Dreamer sends him into a turnbuckle. The hot tag brings in Richards to take over on Burke as the pace picks up. Burke sends him shoulder first into the corner though, leaving Thorn and Dreamer to fight to the floor. The Elijah Express finishes for Burke.

Rating: C-. It was nice to have a flashback to the New Breed vs. ECW Originals feud here and right now, that might not be the worst way to go. At the end of the day, there isn’t much going on with the rest of the roster so this is about as good of an idea as they have with these people. Not a good match, but it was passable enough that it could have worked with a few more minutes.

Video on CM Punk vs. John Morrison.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Punk is challenging in his final shot. They go technical to start with an exchange of front facelocks and rollups for two each. Punk gets a delayed one off a hip toss of all things but Morrison takes him down and stomps away as we hear a bit about the history of the ECW World Title.

A springboard dropkick gets two on Morrison and Punk starts kicking him in the chest. Morrison sends him throat first into the ropes though and Punk is sent to the apron. That means the powerbomb to the floor has to be blocked, leaving Punk to dive onto Morrison as we take a break.

Back with Morrison slamming Punk off the top for two and then blasting him with a kick to the face. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Morrison goes with a running knee to the face for two. Now it’s a reverse chinlock (with Punk looking like he is tapping, likely by accident) before Morrison goes up top. You don’t do that in a match this big, as Punk is right there with a superplex to bring him back down.

Punk’s leg lariat gets two and the running knee in the corner/bulldog gets the same. Back up and Morrison catches him with a Pele kick in the corner but has to elbow his way out of the GTS. A rollup with trunks and rope gets caught (thank goodness) so Punk rolls him up for two of his own. Morrison misses the springboard kick to the face though and it’s the GTS to give Punk the pin and the title.

Rating: B. They had built this up so hard that it had to be the title change and they did just that. Punk kept getting closer and closer to the win and FINALLY pulled it off, which is all you could ask for. They even had some hot near falls near the end, but this was either Punk wins the title or goes into another feud that they don’t have here at the moment. Good match and the only decision they could have made.

Punk celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show here but the main event is the only thing that matters. While that is kind of a microcosm of all of ECW at the moment, I’ll take what I can get with the title change though, as that is all that it needed to be here. ECW needs some fresh stars, but at least they have Punk to fight some of their current roster for a few weeks/months now. Good main event and the rest was passable enough, even if it isn’t that inspiring.

 

 

 

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 28, 2007
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and since ECW doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of WWE, there is only one match of note. In this case, that would be John Morrison retaining his ECW World Title over CM Punk (again). That means Morrison needs a new challenger and we’re getting another #1 contenders match. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Morrison (in slow motion) to brag about retaining the ECW World Title. At Summerslam, he united the people and created CM Punk’s new reality when he beat Punk again. Since there is a four way tonight to crown a new #1 contender, let’s look at the four men who want to join the Palace of Wisdom. There is the Boogeyman, who is coming to get him, but Morrison is beyond good and evil and it takes more than worms to scare him.

Then we have the Miz, who says he is a chick magnet, but actions speak louder than words. Hoorah. Third is Big Daddy V, and let’s hope he doesn’t win for the sake of humanity. Finally there is CM Punk, and come on already. Let’s take a look at his straightedge lifestyle. Punk doesn’t do anything, which seems to include winning titles. Oh but he does get tattoos. Imagine if he got a tattoo for every time Morrison beat him! None of the four are going to beat Morrison anyway so it doesn’t matter.

Stevie Richards vs. Kevin Thorn

Richards has had Thorn’s number as of late and Thorn is about to snap. Thorn pounds on Richards to start and stomps him down in the corner as the anger comes out. A beal sends Richards flying again and a comeback is cut off with a drop across the corner. Richards’ throat is dropped across the ropes and Thorn drives him hard into the barricade. The Razor’s Edge is countered so Thorn clotheslines him down to stay on the throat. Richards starts kicking away for two of his own and a rollup is good for the same. That’s enough for Thorn, who hits a torture rack backbreaker and the Original Sin finishes Richards off.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a squash, but it was also disappointing. Richards had gotten a small push in the last few weeks and then he just loses here. Thorn isn’t exactly an exciting option for a heel and I’m not sure how far he is going to be able to go even with this story over. Richards didn’t have the brightest future, but I was more interested in his winning streak than anything Thorn is probably doing.

Video on the Boogeyman.

Balls Mahoney runs into the Miz and Extreme Expose. Miz was shocked Mahoney won last week, but Kelly Kelly doesn’t seem thrilled. They even cut her off from saying anything, leaving Brook and Layla to call Mahoney a loser. The four of them go to leave, with Kelly wishing Mahoney luck.

John Morrison is in Armando Estrada’s office to find out who is going to be the new #1 contender. CM Punk pops in, with Morrison saying he wants another title shot handed to him. Punk says he’ll earn it, without having to put his feet on the ropes like Morrison did at Summerslam. Violence is teased, but Punk eats cantaloupe instead. Morrison: “That guy has got some serious daddy issues.”

Balls Mahoney vs. Elijah Burke

Miz and Extreme Expose are at ringside. Burke jumps Mahoney to start, earning himself some shots to the face. The comeback has Kelly Kelly up and cheering, which doesn’t sit well with everyone else. Some more shots to the face put Mahoney down for two but the fans are behind him anyway.

The headstand elbow in the corner sets up a front facelock as Kelly continues to play cheerleader. An STO plants Mahoney to cut off a comeback and the chinlock is on. That’s the trigger to a comeback (of course) and Mahoney hits the Nutcracker Suite for two. Burke catches him up top with a superplex though and the Elijah Express is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Much like the previous match, someone who won a match to start a little something loses to the bigger star, cutting off almost any interest there might have been. It also isn’t the best sign for Miz’s chances tonight if he’s involved with Mahoney here. The Kelly deal is kind of interesting, but it would be better if she hadn’t done the same thing with CM Punk last year.

Post match Miz laughs at Mahoney’s loss but Kelly Kelly checks on him before leaving.

Miz vs. CM Punk vs. Big Daddy V vs. Boogeyman

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a future ECW World Title shot. Miz is in the ring when we come back from a break, despite going to the back before the break. Matt Striker is here with V as a bonus. Everyone goes after V to start and get knocked away without much effort. V starts splashing people in the corner, with Miz being knocked outside. Boogeyman starts the comeback but gets pulled to the floor instead. Punk is thrown to the floor but V would rather chop Miz.

There’s a chop to Punk to keep things even as the pain continues. V misses a charge and falls over the barricade, leaving Miz to knee Boogeyman down. Back in and Miz hits the running clothesline for two on Punk, who comes back with a slam. The legdrop misses though and Miz grabs a fairly illogical chinlock. Punk breaks that up without much trouble and hits a running knee. The springboard clothesline gives Punk two and the GTS finishes Miz for the title shot.

Rating: D+. What a weird match. Miz vs. Punk was perfectly fine, but this wasn’t a Miz vs. Punk match. Boogeyman and V disappeared for most of the match, which wasn’t that long in the first place. I’m not sure what happened to Boogeyman there, but at least there was a reason for V to be gone. Weird match, though at least they didn’t waste time with anything but the only real choice for a winner.

Post match V slams Boogeyman on the floor and stares at Punk, who gets out before he being crushed.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their strongest showing, as it was more about getting things back to normal, which meant cutting the legs off from some people who were making some headway. Punk vs. Morrison again might be boring, but who else is there to go after the title? This needs to be Punk’s big win though, as he can only take so many losses. Not a good show this week though, and that isn’t the greatest surprise given the show’s issues with lack of talent depth.

 

 

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: August 21, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the one ECW match is set. Granted you might not have known that based on last week’s show, as you might think that we’re coming up on Boogeyman vs. Big Daddy V as the show’s big match. The build has been a bit weird in recent weeks, but that is mainly due to the match being set up so far in advance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, featuring a slower version of Don’t Question My Heart.

Armando Estrada is in the ring with a bunch of weapons around him. He declares himself the Hardcore Dictator and introduces our first match.

Big Daddy V vs. Tommy Dreamer

Extreme Rules and Matt Striker is here with V. Dreamer slugs away to start and tries a slam for reasons of general stupidity. V chairs him in the back and shows Dreamer how to do a slam. There’s a whip into a shopping card in the corner but Dreamer avoids a charge. The table is loaded up but a Striker distraction lets V run Dreamer over again. Back in and Dreamer’s trashcan shots to the head have no effect, as V Samoan drops him through a table for the fast pin. Pretty much the squash it needed to be.

Video on CM Punk.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are here as Vince continues to search for his son. Coach thinks that the son might be the result of an encounter Vince had in a bathroom stall (Vince: “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT???”) so here is Balls Mahoney. Vince wants this….thing out of his sight. Arguing ensues with the punchline of Vince shouting that he has no balls. Coach: “I know you have grapefruits….” Vince: “SHUT UP!”

Elijah Burke vs. Balls Mahoney

Burke grabs a headlock to start as commentary talks about Mahoney’s interactions with Vince and Kelly Kelly because he’s quite the man about town as of late. Mahoney is back with a shoulder and chop, leaving Tazz thinking Burke needs some sanitizer. They actually go technical with some arm work as Joey talks about Mahoney being barred from amateur wrestling in New Jersey (because that is the only Balls Mahoney story ever). Tazz: “Yeah I’ve heard that one before.”

Some kicks slow Mahoney down and a few uppercuts make it even worse. Burke sends him shoulder first into the post and the leg is wrapped around it too. There’s the handstand elbow in the corner (that always looks cool) and Burke grabs an armbar. The frustration starts setting in so Burke bites the arm, which can’t be very sanitary. More arm pulling sets up a slam before they both miss an elbow. An STO works a bit better for Burke but Mahoney is back up with the right hands. The sitout spinebuster gets two and Burke misses a splash in the corner, allowing Mahoney to get a sloppy rollup for the upset pin.

Rating: C-. This went on longer than it needed to as the pretty surprising mini Mahoney push continues. Burke has long since stopped being a thing around here so this isn’t some soul crushing loss, but you would think there would be a little something better for him to do. The fans like Mahoney though so this isn’t the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

Video on John Morrison, including a lot of his weird sayings.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Post break Balls Mahoney runs into Miz and Extreme Expose. Miz mocks Mahoney and leaves with the women, though Kelly Kelly does not seem pleased. Some winking ensues between Kelly and Mahoney.

We look back at Kevin Thorn beating Stevie Richards last week but beating him up after the bell for the reversed decision.

Thorn is in the back when Richards jumps him. Referees break it up.

Summerslam rundown.

Vince McMahon and Coach don’t think tonight has been a success, though Coach thinks he might have an idea. CM Punk comes in, and while Vince thinks he is talented, he can’t get behind the straightedge stuff. Punk says he doesn’t have dirty unprotected sex with some skank who files a paternity suit against him, making him a living breathing, national disgrace. Vince is not impressed.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. Miz/John Morrison

This is Miz and Morrison’s first traditional tag match together (at least on TV). Extreme Expose is here with Miz to uneven things up a bit. Punk kicks away at Miz to start and hands it off to Boogeyman, who scares the girls a lot. We take a break and come back with Morrison flipping over Punk and getting kicked in the face for his efforts. Boogeyman comes in to show Punk how to properly gyrate before pulling him out of the corner, making Morrison flip backwards.

Punk adds a kick to the head but Morrison gets in a cheap shot to knock him off the corner. Back in and Miz hammers away with the left hands, setting up Morrison’s neck crank. A backbreaker/neckbreaker combination gets two on Punk and Miz grabs the chinlock. Morrison gets two off a slingshot elbow and he rains down some right hands.

Another neckbreaker gets another two and the second chinlock doesn’t last very long. Morrison loads up a superplex but gets sunset bombed back down, allowing Punk to strike away. Punk hits a big dive to take Morrison down on the floor as Boogeyman is sent into the steps. Back in and a catapult sends Miz into the corner. There’s the GTS to Miz but Morrison makes a blind tag and hits the flipping neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C. I wonder if something happened to Boogeyman there as he just kind of vanished near the end and never even got a tag back in. Morrison getting the pin on Punk is a little surprising but it adds a bit of drama to Sunday’s match. Miz and Morrison do work well together though, which is the kind of thing that can go a long (or really long) way. Not a great match, but it kept Punk vs. Morrison warm for Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. They can’t get to Summerslam fast enough as this show was out of gas by the end. It doesn’t help when one story is worthy of the pay per view and they have already fought three or four times. The show wasn’t bad, but it’s another skippable week. That has been the case more than once as of late and they really need to do something to make it better soon.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,827
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

It’s time for the annual hour and a half long commercial for Summerslam which makes you want to watch the original run of this series again. This show has nothing advertised outside of an update on who Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child might be. The show doesn’t make a difference anyway but I’m almost worried about what is going to be on here. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon and Coach are in the back to recap the illegitimate child deal. Coach has been looking through the roster and thinks he has an idea of who Vince’s child is. Vince has told him about all of his dalliances (which he just has records of I guess), except for this one in Kansas City (where Coach is from), back in the 70s….when Coach was born…..and then put up for adoption. Vince thinks this is going to be a long night.

Opening sequence.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Take two Summerslam matches, put them in a tag match. Finlay and Kane, with his taped up ribs, start things off, with Kane knocking him into the corner. It’s quickly off to Batista, who takes Finlay down by the arm. A MuscleBuster drops Finlay again and we take a break. Back with Khali working on the ribs and putting on the stomach Claw.

Kane fights up but gets kicked in the face to put him right back down. That doesn’t last long though as Finlay gets over for the tag off to Batista as everything breaks down. Khali gets tied in the ropes so here is Hornswoggle…who is launched into Khali’s chest. A double chokeslam puts Khali down and the Batista Bomb finishes Finlay.

Rating: C. Total house show style main event and that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Ultimately, the wrestling isn’t so much the point of this show as much as just seeing these wrestlers doing something to get you ready for Summerslam. They didn’t have another option for the ending either so this was about as good as it could have been done.

Vince McMahon has to know who his kid is….and then he looks in a mirror to turn him into his 80s version. Coach gets Vince out of there so Ron Simmons comes up and catchphrases at his own reflection.

MVP is very happy to see Evander Holyfield here to beat Matt Hardy in a boxing match. Holyfield does seem to know him.

Here are Coach and Vince McMahon for Illegitimate Child Corner. Since DNA tests have taken so long, it is time to find out who the child is. Coach talks about how Vince is man with urges but Vince tells him to GET ON WITH THIS. First up, Vince had a tryst in Kentucky, which brings out Eugene. Vince says that’s not possible, because he slept with a woman, not his cousin. Eugene says his Uncle Eric wanted to get into wrestling because Vince nailed his sister….and that’s enough for Vince to cut him off. Eugene: “I LOVE YOU DAD!”

Vince throws him out so Coach brings in Melina, who might have been conceived when Vince was at a Wrestlemania II after party in Los Angeles. Cue Melina, who looks rather upset. They both insist that it isn’t her, as….apparently they had, ahem, a “meeting” on the Fourth of July. Melina better hope that their meeting was, ahem, harmless, or she’s suing him for everything he has. I think he’ll be fine as Vince was in New York for Wrestlemania II, not Los Angeles.

Anyway, there’s one more person but Coach doesn’t want to bring them out. Vince insists though and the glass shatters, meaning we get that classic Vince panic. Austin thinks Vince could be his pops and he could be the fruit of his loins. The result of what came from Vince’s grapefruits if you will. Vince says there’s no chance of that, which Austin says is too bad.

They never had the chance to play catch, go to a football game, build a go kart or teach him how to water ski. Vince never even got to have that talk about the birds and the bees with him. They didn’t get to have a beer together but Vince has had enough of this. Austin thinks the easy thing would be Stunning Vince, but he would rather help him out with the grapefruits instead, meaning a bunch of low blows. Coach gets the Stunner instead and beer is consumed. Vince pulls himself up and gets a Stunner of his own. This was a few jokes until we got to the Austin/Vince moment and that’s always going to work. The search continues.

John Cena vs. Carlito

Non-title and this is the Big Apple Showdown. Cena tackles him down to start and pounds away with right hands. Carlito is sent outside but manages to pull Cena to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the top rope Fameasser for two and the STFU makes Carlito tap in a hurry. Not enough shown to rate but this was almost a Cena squash.

Post match Randy Orton comes in and gives Cena an RKO through an open chair. Cena is out cold and Orton yells at him a lot before staring, evily.

Post break, Randy Orton says that’s just the beginning and he’ll take the WWE Title at Summerslam.

There are a bunch of women at ringside for the boxing match.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Michael Buffer is here to handle the introductions, including one for MVP, in Holyfield’s corner. Matt is at least wearing headgear to prevent a bad case of destruction. We have two minute rounds and Holyfield knocks him down in about a minute. Hardy gets back up and is down again in about twenty seconds. Somehow he survives again to end the round, with MVP being very pleased. The bell rings for the second round and Holyfield doesn’t want to beat him up anymore. MVP comes in and tells Holyfield to do it, earning himself a knockout. This is about all they could have done and at least they made it fast.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

ECW actually gets the closing spot. Matt Striker is here with V and they’re moving through the entrances pretty fast. Punk and Morrison start things off with Punk rolling him up for tow. Morrison sends him throat first into the middle rope so Punk clotheslines him over the top to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Boogeyman backdropping Morrison a bit harder than he needed to but Striker’s distraction lets V come in. That means Boogeyman is thrown around this time but he does avoid a charge in the corner. It’s back to Punk with the springboard clothesline to Morrison but he’s back up with a knee to the head. Not that it matters though as Punk grabs a small package for the pin.

Rating: C-. This felt like they were running out of time and had to squeeze everyone in there while they could. I’ll take that over not having the match, though V didn’t do much here, which might be a good thing. Punk gets another boost for his title match and that was the point here.

Commentary sends us to a fast highlight video to wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was just a way to build to a pay per view, it was completely watchable. They probably could have cut this down to an hour instead of an hour and a half, but at least they covered a lot of stuff and had the Vince/Austin deal in the middle. Absolutely not a show you need to see, but it would have been completely acceptable background noise while you fold your neighbor’s towels.

 

 

 

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