Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is going to be an interesting one as the Rumble itself has received very little build. It has gotten about as little attention as I can remember in recent years, but things are in a weird place at the moment anyway. Other than that, we have Mark Henry challenging Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title and John Cena trying to get the Raw World Title back from Edge. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at all three main events, which is covering all of the bases fairly well.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Kid Kash, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Funaki, Nunzio, Paul London

Kash is defending, it’s one fall to a finish, only former champions are allowed in, and if this was mentioned on Smackdown, it was in a one off statement. They go with the parade of rollups to start until the five Smackdown wrestlers jump Raw’s Helms. Noble armbars Kash but it’s broken up by London as this is more like a battle royal with everyone pairing off. London is sent to the floor and Nunzio hits the Sicilian Slice (middle rope Fameasser on Helms).

Noble hits a flying leg lariat on Kash with Funaki breaking it up at two. Funaki whips Noble to the ropes but Noble dives onto Nunzio instead. Kash and Funaki head outside and it’s London hitting a shooting star onto the big pile at ringside. Back in and Helms hits a super swinging neckbreaker on London, followed by Kash hitting London with the Dead Level. Nunzio and Funaki make the save so Noble chops the heck out of Funaki. A fireman’s carry gutbuster sets up a dragon sleeper but Helms makes the save. Noble is sent outside and a Shining Wizard to Funaki gives Helms the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the right call for Helms, who lost clean to Jerry Lawler on pay per view earlier this month. He needs to get away from Raw as fast as he can and this is as good of a way as he can do it. There are only so many spots for cruiserweights on either show but it’s not like Kash was anything special anyway. Good move, and a nice choice for a start.

Teddy Long and Vince McMahon are ready for the Rumble but Vince is more excited that Torrie Wilson, Candice Michelle and Victoria are monitoring the tumbler. Randy Orton comes in to draw his number, as does HHH. Trash talk ensues and HHH asks Candice to hold his ball. HHH is really unhappy with his number, with Randy telling him that he’s screwed.

Trish Stratus, refereeing the next match, is warming up when Mickie James comes in with something to tell her. It’s not a good time, but Mickie says she loves her. Trish leaves without saying anything.

Ashley vs. Mickie James

Trish is refereeing and Lawler longs to be her shirt. Mickie and Ashley fight to the floor before heading back inside for an exchange of wristlocks. Ashley actually gets the better of it, with Joey calling her “technically sound”. Mickie is sent outside for an apron clothesline from Ashley, followed by some technically sound right hands in the corner. Trish breaks it up so Mickie grabs a quickly broken half crab.

That’s fine with Mickie, who gets to stare at Trish and beat Ashley up on the floor. A bow and arrow goes on with commentary pointing out that Mickie is trying to impress Trish. Ashley fights up and throws her down by the hair a few times before rolling Mickie up for two. Something like a spear drives Mickie into the corner as the fans are loudly booing Ashley. More right hands in the corner have Mickie in trouble but she uses the trunks to pull Ashley down with a powerbomb for a distressed three from Trish.

Rating: D. Ashley is trying as hard as she can but she’s just not that good. It doesn’t help when you have Mickie and Trish, two of the best of their generation, out there while we have to sit through Ashley’s bad….well almost everything. They’re stretching this out until Wrestlemania and putting Ashley in the ring on pay per view for nearly eight minutes is not the best way to go about it.

Post match Mickie hugs Trish, who still doesn’t seem pleased.

Vince admires the women’s tattoos, some of which are in some suggestive places. Big Show comes in to draw his number but can’t get his hand in the tumbler. Rey Mysterio comes in and, after an Eddie chat with Big Show, draws his number. Rey: “Eddie, you got me man. You got me.”

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Jillian Hall is here with JBL. After cowering during Boogeyman’s entrance, JBL hides behind Ashley and then bails to the floor. Boogeyman mounts her and spits worms onto her, which is finally enough to get us ready. JBL hammers away to knock Boogeyman outside before taking him inside for some choking with the tape. The Clothesline From JBL only hits the corner though and Boogeyman hits the pumphandle powerslam for the pin. I’m not sure if that’s a good idea or not, as Boogeyman isn’t exactly a main event star, but JBL isn’t as much of one as he was just a few months ago.

Worms are consumed post match.

Mama Benjamin hits on Vince and Shelton Benjamin draws. That goes well for him but here’s Melina to interrupt. Mama gets Shelton out in a hurry as MNM come in to draw. They seem rather pleased and Melina offers to have the two of them get rid of Shawn Michaels.

We recap the Royal Rumble, which is more or less “anyone could win”. They haven’t focused on it that much this year and that leaves some options open.

It’s Royal Rumble time but here’s the Spirit Squad to interrupt. After a cheer about the Rumble, we’re ready to go. Glad we got that out of the way, but it’s certainly a unique gimmick.

Royal Rumble

Ninety second intervals with HHH in at #1 and Rey Mysterio, in a low rider, in at #2. Lawler: “If you’re number one or two, you’re screwed.” This company really doesn’t have much of a memory does it? Rey goes fast to start with a running dropkick to the knee and a headscissors. The right hands in the corner set up the missed 619 and it’s Simon Dean in at #3. Dean stomps on Rey but can only send him to the apron. For some reason Dean thinks HHH will like him and that’s good for an elimination in a hurry.

Rey hits the Bronco Buster on HHH and it’s Psicosis in at #4. Psicosis goes after Rey as well and a swinging sitout faceplant drops him again. An attempt at a Razor’s Edge over the top results in a hurricanrana to get rid of Psicosis. Before anything else can happen, it’s Ric Flair in at #5 (Flair was in five Rumbles. In four of them, he was in the first five entrants.). HHH panics and the fight is on, with Flair grabbing him low but getting poked in the eyes.

A backdrop gets rid of Flair and it’s Big Show in at #6. That means another beatdown on HHH, including the standing legdrop and an elbow. Jonathan Coachman is in at #7 and Big Show gets rid of him as quickly as you would expect. Show stands on HHH’s head again and it’s Bobby Lashley (a dark horse according to Cole) in at #8. A big right hand puts Lashley down but he backdrops Show in a nice power display.

Lashley kicks Show to the floor (not eliminated) and it’s Kane in at #9 as they’re stacking the first part of this thing. Kane and Lashley slug it out with Kane hitting a big boot. Lashley snaps off a belly to belly, knocks down HHH, and hits the Dominator on Kane. It’s Sylvan in at #10, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Big Show, Lashley, Kane and Sylvan.

After Lashley dispatches him even faster than Show got rid of Coach, it’s a double chokeslam to plant Lashley. Kane and Show get rid of him after a strong showing and it’s the giant slugout. They choke each other on the ropes until HHH dumps both of them out (I’m shocked too) so here’s Carlito at #11 to fill in the ring a little more. Carlito stomps on Rey and HHH until a Roddy Piper style eye poke gets HHH out of trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #12 with Cole explaining about Benoit winning last year (hopefully jogging Lawler’s memory a bit).

The Crossface has Carlito in trouble, with HHH making the fast save. That wasn’t the brightest idea in the world but he sends Benoit to the apron where they fight over a suplex attempt. Benoit puts him down and hits the Swanton but here’s Booker T. (back in the long tights) in at #13. Benoit gets rid of Booker in about 20 seconds (Booker was probably still injured) so it’s back to chopping away at everyone else.

Joey Mercury is in at #14 and Benoit gives him a German suplex in a hurry. More chopping ensues as Tatanka of all people is in at #15 to go after HHH. The fans seem to remember him, but that might just be the Florida State Seminoles chant. Everyone pairs off and it’s Johnny Nitro in at #16 as Benoit gets HHH to the apron. Trevor Murdoch is in at #17 (Lawler: “He looks like a big bottle of milk.”) as the ring is getting full in a hurry. Rey is sent to the apron for the third time but is right back in with a basement dropkick to HHH.

Eugene is in at #18 for an airplane spin on Murdoch so Rey gives the two of them a double bulldog. Animal, with bright green shoulder pads, is in at #19. Things slow down again with the only thing between entrances being MNM failing to get rid of Rey. The returning Rob Van Dam is in at #20, giving us HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Tatanka, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, Animal and Van Dam. Rob goes after almost everyone, including a spinwheel kick to HHH. MNM goes after Rob but he shrugs that off and gets rid of Animal.

Orlando Jordan is in at #21 and doesn’t even get a reaction in his hometown. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s making it hard to do much. Van Dam manages a middle rope kick to Carlito’s face and it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #22. Rolling Thunder hits Jordan and Chavo gets to clean a little house, including Three Amigos to Nitro. For some reason Chavo goes up top and HHH shove shim out without much effort.

Matt Hardy is in at #23 as there is only room for about two people to do anything at a time. MNM dumps Tatanka and it’s Super Crazy in at #24. He comes in with a very high crossbody to MNM and it’s back to fighting on the ropes. Shawn Michaels is in at #25 and PLEASE GET RID OF SOME PEOPLE. Murdoch is Shawn’s first victim and it’s Chris Masters in at #26 because the ring MUST stay overly full. Mercury and Hardy both save themselves and HHH has to do it as well.

Viscera is in at #27 (lucky us) for a Samoan drop on Hardy. There’s the Visagra and Hardy is out for daring to try a Twist of Fate on the monster. Shelton Benjamin is in at #28 as Benoit gets rid of Eugene. There’s a Dragon Whip to HHH as Goldust is in at #29. Crazy seems to have been put out off camera and Randy Orton is in at #30.

Side note: Cole says Orton is coming off a phenomenal 2005. What exactly did he do? Lose the title match against HHH at the Rumble, lose against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and in the Cell, and need his dad to help him beat Undertaker. Oh and be the sole survivor at Survivor Series (thanks to a distraction), which he had done twice before. That’s phenomenal?

Anyway, the final grouping is HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Van Dam, Jordan, Michaels, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or nearly half of the field. Orton gets rid of Benoit in a hurry to make up for Smackdown and Carlito/Masters dump Viscera. Carlito immediately turns on Masters to eliminate him as they’re picking up the pace in a hurry.

Goldust hits Shattered Dreams on Carlito, and is quickly eliminated by Van Dam. Orton gets rid of Jordan (after a ridiculous sixteen minutes), leaving Shawn and HHH to do their big showdown. MNM breaks that up but Michaels breaks that up and sends Nitro into Mercury to get rid of Joey. Michaels clotheslines Nitro out and skins the cat back in but Shelton jumps him. Shawn superkicks Shelton out without much effort but here’s Vince McMahon to order Michaels out.

Cue Shane McMahon from behind to dump Shawn, who charges back in, chases Shane off, superkicks HHH for old times’ sake, and follows the McMahons to the back. Van Dam gets rid of Carlito and we’re down to Van Dam, HHH, Orton and Mysterio. The tag match breaks out with Van Dam and Mysterio getting the better of it. For some reason Rob goes up and gets crotched by HHH, who sends Rey into Van Dam for the elimination.

Rey has to knock HHH and Orton down at the same time, setting up a double 619. Orton clotheslines Rey down though and powerslams HHH for a bonus. HHH is back up with a spinebuster to Orton but Rey gets rid of HHH to bring the fans WAY back into it. Just because he’s evil, HHH pulls Mysterio to the floor and sends him into the steps. The EDDIE chants start up and Rey manages to slip off Orton’s shoulder and a hurricanrana gives Rey the win.

Rating: B-. It’s good enough, but the Eddie praise got a little rough to take as the match went on. The far bigger problem though was having so many people in the ring at once for long stretches, leaving the people to have to find what openings they could in their limited room. That’s not a good setup for the Rumble and when it’s for the sake of having people like Tatanka and Jordan in there for long stretches, they seem to be missing the point.

Mickie interrupts a Trish interview and says she understands what Trish had to do out there. It’s because Trish loves her too! Trish follows her off to straighten things out.

Rey celebrates in the back when Edge comes in to say Rey better not try Benoit’s loophole by jumping over to Raw.

We recap Edge vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Edge cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber and went on to be a very different kind of champion. It was rather cool at times, but he doesn’t have much chance in this one.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is challenging and comes to the ring walking across a confetti shooting scaffold that was lowered from the ceiling. Joey says Cena is fresh here, rather than coming off a 45 minute Elimination Chamber. Why can no one in wrestling tell time? The match wasn’t even 30 minutes long. Cena clotheslines him to the floor to start but Edge manages a trip into the middle buckle.

Back up and Cena grabs a side slam for two so Edge bails outside. That means it’s already time for a Lita distraction and Edge spears Cena into the steps. Cena is sent over the barricade for a nine count and Edge mocks You Can’t See Me. Some kicks to Cena’s face get two and Edge suplexes him down to work on the ribs some more. Cena is sent outside this time and Edge follows to keep hammering away. Back in and Edge gets two off a missile dropkick, setting up a jumping clothesline.

Edge snaps off some jabs to the jaw but has to rake the eyes to get out of a quick FU attempt. Another boot to the face lets Edge go up for a high crossbody, with Cena rolling through for a quick two. A chinlock with a bodyscissors has Cena down again but he powers to his feet. Cena grabs a DDT and they’re both down. The comeback is on and the Shuffle connects for no cover thanks to Lita. That doesn’t really matter though as Cena hits the FU into the STFU to get the title back.

Rating: B-. The wrestling was good enough but the ending wasn’t quite in doubt. As cool as it was to see Edge win the title, I don’t think anyone was buying him as being the champion coming into Wrestlemania. Cena is still the biggest star in the world, despite the mixed reactions getting stronger. I’m thinking Edge will be fine though, as the ratings for his shows as champion are hard to ignore.

Post match, Edge doesn’t want to talk and storms off. Jim Duggan comes up for the obvious Lita joke. I love that Duggan got into gear for the sake of the cameo. It’s such a wrestler thing to do.

Kurt Angle is ready to beat Mark Henry. He’s coming in as champion and leaving as champion. Oh and Mark Henry: YOU SUCK!

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry is challenging and has Daivari in his corner. Angle goes for the leg to start and is shrugged off with ease. With the direct approach not working, it’s off to some speed to make Henry miss. Henry gets hold of Angle’s hand though and starts cranking, before dropping Angle ribs first across the top rope. After a trip to the floor with Henry wrecking the steps for no reason, they head back inside with Henry dropping onto his chest for two. The bearhug goes on but Angle slips out and goes for the ankle lock. Henry powers out so Angle hits the German suplex.

The Angle Slam connects for two and the straps go down, setting up another ankle lock. Henry powers out again and the referee gets bumped. Angle goes for a chair, which he uses on Daivari for trying to cut him off. Henry takes the chair from Angle, so it’s a low blow to slow Henry down. Two chair shots to the head give Angle two so he unhooks a turnbuckle pad. Henry goes face first and it’s a rollup with a grab of the rope to retain.

Rating: D. Well that didn’t work. Rey Mysterio got a better match out of Henry on Smackdown and Angle had to cheat over and over to survive here. They might have been able to do something with some more time, but at about nine and a half minutes, there wasn’t much that they could pull off as Angle had to spend the last few minutes cheating to keep the title. I get protecting Henry, but dang this was a rough sit.

Post match Angle celebrates but the gong sounds. Flanked by druids, Undertaker comes to the ring in a horse drawn chariot before motioning that he wants the title. Some lighting goes off at the posts and the ring collapses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s nothing on here worth seeing, as the Rumble is middle of the road at best, the World Title matches were never in doubt, and nothing was especially good. It’s a weird time in WWE as they’re trying to gear up for Wrestlemania but other than exploiting Eddie’s death, there isn’t much that can be done to fire up interest at the moment. Wrestlemania doesn’t look promising, but it does feel like it’s a long way off, which isn’t a good sign either. The show isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t anything you need to see.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: August 7, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the show with the match that sets up the match on the show, as CM Punk will be facing John Morrison in a 15 Minutes of Fame match. Should Punk win, he gets to challenge Morrison again for the ECW World Title at Summerslam. Other than that, we have…well not much here, other than Extreme Expose having a thing for the Miz. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of CM Punk winning a triple threat last week to earn the 15 Minutes of Fame tonight.

Opening sequence.

Boogeyman vs. Jesse Guilmette

Boogeyman has a large wig on, which he removes to show the new face paint from last week and a mouth full of worms (as you do). A bunch of clotheslines set up a slam and a rather lengthy top rope splash.

Post match, Guilmette gets wormed. Cue Matt Striker to literally shake a stick at Boogeyman until Big Daddy V jumps him from behind. The big beatdown is on, including a Samoan drop and a bunch of elbows. The worms are still all on the mat, which had to be embarrassing for Guilmette. So embarrassing that he changed his name to Pepper Parks and ultimately the Blade in AEW.

Elijah Burke vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer kicks at the leg to start and clotheslines Burke outside. For some reason Dreamer goes to pick him up from the apron and gets snapmared to the floor in a big crash. Back in and Burke hits the running slingshot elbow but Dreamer suplexes his way out of a chinlock. The Texas Cloverleaf is countered and Burke goes to the top, where Dreamer tries a superplex. That’s countered with a neck snap across the top, setting up the Elijah Express for the fast pin.

John Morrison dubs himself the Shaman of Sexy and the Guru of Greatness and doesn’t think much of CM Punk. They don’t serve diet soda in the Palace of Wisdom and after tonight, no one will remember Punk’s name.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

Miz vs. Balls Mahoney

Miz has Extreme Expose with him. Mahoney grabs a headlock to start and shoulders him down. Back up and Miz manages to knock Mahoney outside, where Kelly Kelly looks worried. Mahoney is sent back inside where he avoids a neckbreaker but walks into the Reality Check to give Miz the win.

Post match, Kelly Kelly continues to look worried about Mahoney.

CM Punk promises John Morrison will never forget his name.

Raw Rebound.

Stevie Richards is ready to talk about his wins over Kevin Thorn, but Thorn jumps him from behind and leaves him laying.

John Morrison vs. CM Punk

Non-title but it’s a 15 Minutes of Fame match, so if Punk wins/survives, he gets the ECW World Title shot at Summerslam. Feeling out process to start as Morrison takes him into the corner to start, only to be taken down by the arm. That’s reversed into Morrison’s armbar, which turns into a fight over a top wristlock. Morrison takes him down with a snapmare and points at the clock (now at about 11:00 to go) but Punk fights up and hits a dropkick.

A hard clothesline gives Punk two and a big running version sends Morrison outside. That means a slingshot dive to the floor but Morrison pops up (a bit too fast) to kick Punk off the apron. Punk is fine enough to suplex Morrison over the top and we take a break. Back with about 4:00 to go as Morrison gets two off a leg lariat.

The middle rope moonsault misses though and Punk kicks away, setting up the springboard clothesline for two. We’re down to two minutes as Punk rolls him up for two. Morrison is back with a backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two of his own but Punk gets a rollup for another two with a minute left. The GTS is broken up and Morrison hits an enziguri for a double knockdown. Not that it matters as Punk is back up with the GTS for the pin with five seconds left.

Rating: C+. The ending wasn’t quite in doubt and they didn’t make that much better by screwing up some of the drama near the end. Since a draw was the same as a win for Punk, the ending wasn’t really in doubt with about thirty seconds left. I do like Punk getting the pin though, as he needed to show he could beat Morrison after back to back losses.

Overall Rating: C. The main event is the only thing worth seeing but it was nice to see them advancing some other stories. The biggest flaw around here has been the World Title getting almost all of the focus so maybe they are starting to learn a bit. Not a great show, but it flew by and the main event set up ECW’s contribution for Summerslam, which needed to be done.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: July 10, 2007
Location: New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 2,271
Commentators: Tazz, Joey Styles

We are on the way to the Great American Bash, where Johnny Nitro will defend the ECW World Title against CM Punk. That’s about all that we have going on at the moment, but there is a new detail that is going to chance everything: it’s time for the Miz’s debut, as ECW goes reality. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence, now with a new theme song.

It’s time for Striker’s Classroom, with the Boogeyman as this week’s guest. Striker is going to change tradition a bit this week, because the teacher has a gift for the student: a bowl full of worms! We see Boogeyman worming Striker two weeks ago so Striker explains that worms are hermaphrodites who have laid eggs in Boogeyman’s mouth. Worms are coldblooded, just like what Boogeyman has been doing to Striker! That ends right now though….and here is the former Viscera, now known as Big Daddy V, to slam Boogeyman onto the desk. Boogeyman gets thrown through a chalkboard to wrap it up. Nice debut.

HHH is coming back. I’m sure he’ll make time for ECW.

Elijah Burke vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney slugs away to start but Burke punches him down even faster. The headstand elbow out of the corner gets two on Mahoney and we hit the chinlock. Mahoney fights up but misses the New Jersey Jam, setting up the Elijah Express to give Burke the fast pin.

Rating: D+. This was a rehab match for Burke, who has been losing a lot as of late. Sometimes the best thing that you can do for a wrestler is put them in the ring for a quick win like this and let them get back on track. I don’t think Burke has much of a ceiling around here these days, but a win is better than nothing.

Video on Tommy Dreamer.

CM Punk vs. Stevie Richards

Punk strikes away to start and hits a swinging neckbreaker for an early two, followed by a kick to the head. There’s a running legdrop for two and we’re already in the chinlock on Richards. That’s broken up and Richards scores with a few kicks for a near fall of his own. Richards grabs a chinlock to even the score, only to have Punk grab a kneebar.

Richards fights up so Punk suplexes him down into a half crab. That’s broken up as well so Punk hits the running knee in the corner, setting up the bulldog for two. This time it’s Richards back up with a Downward Spiral into a Koji Clutch, but Punk is next to the rope. Back up and Richards tries the tornado DDT, only to get caught in the GTS for the pin.

Rating: C. This was more competitive than I would have bet on and that’s a good thing. It’s nice to have Punk break a sweat in a match like this as there is little benefit to have him in an easy win. Richards is good for a match like this if you need him out there to make someone look better. Nice surprise here.

Extreme Expose is rather pleased to meet the Miz, who they find cute.

Miz vs. Nunzio

Miz takes him to the mat and they exchange some grappling. Nunzio forearms him in the back and kicks him in the ribs, setting up a middle rope dropkick. There’s some choking on the rope and the chinlock goes on to keep Miz in trouble. Nunzio gets caught using the ropes so he switches to a headscissors, which triggers Miz’s comeback. Some running clotheslines set up a middle rope clothesline for two on Nunzio, followed by the Mizard of Oz for the pin.

Rating: C-. Miz was wrestling more like a face here and that’s a weird thing to see after everything else he has done so far. He’s another case where you need to get the fresh blood on the show and this is as good of a place as any. Let him get some reps in here and see what you can get out of him, as Miz certainly has the intangibles.

Extreme Expose.

We look back at Big Daddy V destroying Boogeyman.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title and Extreme Rules so Dreamer brings out the weapons. Nitro spends a bit too much time posing on the floor so Dreamer goes after him to start the beating. The brawl actually goes to Nitro, who gets rid of all of the weapons save for a crutch. Dreamer takes that away though and starts going after Nitro’s leg. The Cloverleaf keeps up the pain until Dreamer lets go and gets sent into the post. Nitro breaks the crutch over Dreamer’s arm and starts kicking away until a fall away slam cuts him off.

A slingshot dropkick puts Dreamer on the floor, where Nitro wraps a chair around his neck and sends it into the post. The corkscrew moonsault off the barricade gets two, because Extreme Rules now means falls count anywhere. Back in and Dreamer crotches him on top, setting up a few trashcan lid shots to the head. Dreamer goes up top but gets pulled down onto the lid, but he’s fine enough to catch Nitro on top. Nitro gets put in a trashcan for the running Tree of Woe dropkick. Dreamer is back up but Nitro drop toeholds him face first into an open chair for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was about what you would expect, as Nitro gets some more momentum. It means a bit more to beat Dreamer in the violent match as that’s about all Dreamer is known for, so at least they’re getting the concept right. It’s still a bit hard to take Nitro seriously as the champion of the show, but they’re trying to make him seem above everyone else.

Overall Rating: C-. They are certainly trying to bring up a new generation as of late and it is only working out so well so far. Granted that’s kind of the point of an introductory period, as you have to get used to having these guys around. It was a totally watchable show, but you can tell that there is a lot less attention and effort from WWE than you would get on the major shows. Not a great show, but they’re working through a tricky period at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: June 26, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Then everything changed again, as it became clear that Chris Benoit had killed his wife and son. As a result, Benoit will more or less be erased from wrestling history and everything will move on at normal speed. The Vince McMahon limo story is gone but we do have a new ECW World Champion in Johnny Nitro. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Vince McMahon joins us to talk about last night’s tribute to Chris Benoit. Now the facts are apparent though and aside from this statement, there will be no mention of Benoit tonight. This show is dedicated to those affected by this tragedy and now the WWE stars will entertain you.

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title. Cena grabs a headlock to start and takes him to the mat to switch it into a chinlock. The STFU attempt sends Nitro bailing to the rope so Cena goes with the release fisherman’s suplex for two instead. Back up and Cena misses the flying shoulder, sending him crashing out to the floor.

A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and it’s time for Nitro to hammer away back inside. Nitro hits his own really hard clothesline but Cena nails a bulldog for a breather. Cena gets knocked outside in a heap though and we take a break. Back with Cena blocking a superplex attempt but getting dropkicked off the top and out to the floor in a heap.

Nitro hammers away but Cena keeps getting to his feet and glaring at him, setting up the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle connects but Nitro flips out of the FU and scores with a superkick. Nitro grabs a sleeper with a grapevine but Cena is back with the Throwback. The top rope Fameasser sets up the STFU to make Nitro tap.

Rating: B-. Nitro got in a lot of good offense and was able to showcase himself a lot before losing in the end. I know this is a last second deal and they wanted some star power on the show to get things going, but I’m not sure how smart it is to have Nitro lose in his first appearance as champion. Losing to Cena isn’t a soul crushing moment, but I’m not sure how necessary this was.

Here is Roddy Piper for a surprise. Piper says he’s never been in ECW before but he doesn’t consider you hardcore unless you have….dated sweaty Betty? Or if you haven’t had your hearing away with a dog collar. Cue Matt Striker to interrupt, and he’s got a cake. Piper knows he’s a teacher but says he’s no sex education teacher. Striker says it’s that wit which makes it an honor to be in the ring with him.

The cake is brought in because it happens to be Striker’s birthday. Striker suggests that there would be a lot more candles on the cake if it was Piper’s birthday, but he’s Striker’s all time favorite. Piper is asked to sing Happy Birthday, but wants the fans to help him out. Piper: “Let’s sing Happy Birthday to the mark!” Matt: “It’s Matt.” Piper: “Yeah mark.” We get a rather aggressive Happy Birthday and the cake goes into Striker’s face. Piper leaves and here is the Boogeyman for a birthday worming.

The Miz is coming.

Joey Styles can’t do the HOO-RAH!

We look back at Johnny Nitro winning the ECW World Title at Vengeance.

A banged up Johnny Nitro says he has a cold and a fever but he was brave enough to compete out there. He’s ready for whoever wins tonight’s #1 contenders match. This was more serious from Nitro and that’s a good thing.

Elijah Burke vs. CM Punk

2/3 falls and the winner gets a future World Title shot. Punk grabs a headlock for that clandestine Punk spot calling before taking him down to work on the leg. The headlock goes back on before Punk snaps off some hiptosses. Back up and Burke hits some hard forearms, only to be taken right back down. A legdrop gives Punk two but Burke is back with a front facelock to change it up a bit.

Punk gets dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle but comes back with a leg lariat for two. Burke knocks him into the corner though and a quick Elijah Express gives Burke the first fall. With Punk down, Burke is right back on him with right hands to the head before low bridging him out to the floor. Punk pulls himself back up and slingshots in for a rollup and the second fall to tie it up.

We take a break and come back with Burke cranking on both arms and Punk shouting NO. Punk fights up but gets pulled out of the corner for a hard crash. The handstand elbow out of the corner misses for Burke so he goes with a sliding forearm into the back instead. Burke tries to go up top but dives into a spinwheel kick for two. Punk gets sent hard into the corner twice in a row but is fine enough to hit a tornado DDT for two more. The GTS is broken up and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence until Punk grabs the GTS for the pin.

Rating: B-. Another solid match here with both guys working hard. There wasn’t a ton of doubt about Punk winning but he went through some pain to get to the win. These two have some chemistry together and this should be a good finale to their feud, even though Punk had more or less already won in the first place.

Post match Johnny Nitro comes out to stare Punk down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. For what seemed like a thrown together show, this was a heck of an hour with two good matches and a decent enough comedy deal with Striker getting caked. Nitro vs. Punk II is fine for a way to go for the first title match and…well that’s about it for now, but at least both matches were good.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: June 19, 2007
Location: Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re still dealing with the fallout of Vince McMahon’s death and that is likely going to be the focal point of this week’s show. However, we are also coming up on Vengeance: Night Of Champions and we need a new ECW World Champion. That could be addressed this week, or at least it should be. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary talks about how serious everything is with Vince McMahon and we hear from some people who were near the explosion.

Chris Benoit vs. Elijah Burke

The winner moves on to the ECW World Title match at Vengeance. Benoit takes him down by the arm to start but it’s too early for the Crossface. They go to a standoff but Benoit slaps him in the face, setting up another failed Crossface attempt. A whip into the corner gives Burke two and he hammers away at the ribs, setting up a seated abdominal stretch.

Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and cuts off a charging Burke with a kick to the face in the corner. A snap northern lights suplex gives Benoit two and it’s time to roll some German suplexes. There’s the Swan Dive but Benoit can’t follow up. Burke is back up with an STO but the Elijah Express hits the corner. The Sharpshooter sends Benoit to the title match.

Rating: C. Benoit was kind of the perfect choice to go to ECW as he was a veteran who could have a good match with anyone. At the same time, someone beating him would mean something as he had the resume to give a victory some impact. Burke’s time already seems to have come and gone though and he never felt like a real threat here.

We look at Stephanie McMahon’s appearance on Raw, where she talked about how much she missed Vince McMahon and swore vengeance on whomever did it.

Boogeyman vs. Sean Alexander

Chokebomb in less than 30 seconds. The post match worming takes about as long.

We see Vince McMahon’s lead investigator…standing at a podium. Apparently he used to work in counter intelligence.

Kevin Thorn vs. Tommy Dreamer

Thorn runs him over to start but Dreamer goes for the legs for a takedown. That works as well as almost anything else Dreamer tries to do as Thorn hammers away at his face instead. Some elbows set up a chinlock as the fans want tables. Dreamer fights up and hits a bulldog before grabbing a sitout spinebuster for two. Back up and Dreamer seems to have hurt his ankle but goes up to rain down right hands in the corner anyway. Thorn punches the leg out though and gets the pin.

Rating: D+. That was a weird ending so Dreamer might have actually tweaked something. It felt like they got out of there pretty fast, but I can’t imagine Dreamer was going to go much longer against Thorn anyway. You don’t put Dreamer in a long match at this point so it isn’t likely to have been a huge switch, even if the injury was legitimate.

We look back at Vince getting blown up (Hogan beating the Iron Sheik didn’t get shown this much) and take a look at the fire being put out. That thing got burned up good.

Johnny Nitro vs. Nunzio

Nunzio headlocks him down but gets caught with a springboard kick to the face for two instead. There’s the break dancing legdrop for two more and Nitro grabs the cravate. Nunzio fights up and stops a charge in the corner, setting up a middle rope dropkick. A backbreaker into a neckbreaker gives Nitro two and the flipping neckbreaker finishes Nunzi off.

Rating: C-. This was another match designed to establish a new star as Nitro gets to make his ECW debut. Nitro is someone who could use a build up on a smaller show like this, though he already has those Intercontinental Title reigns to make him feel that much bigger. Nunzio was game here, and I can see why WWE kept him around as long as they did.

Marcus Cor Von tells Elijah Burke not to worry about it and promises to win the ECW World Title at Vengeance.

The Miz is coming.

Extreme Expose thinks Miz is hot and Brooke wants them to hook her up with him. Brooke leaves and Layla says she already saw Kelly Kelly with Miz last weekend. Kelly tells her to mind her own business.

Vengeance rundown.

CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von

The winner faces Chris Benoit for the ECW World Title at Vengeance. Cor Von comes right at Punk to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. A fireman’s carry takeover gives Punk two but Cor Von takes him down with a flying armbar. Cor Von grabs a Kimura and takes Punk to the mat as Tazz is having a lot of fun calling this kind of match.

A fall away slam sets up another armbar as Cor Von certainly has a target. Back up and Punk gets a boot up in the corner, setting up the running knee to the face. The bulldog sets up the springboard clothesline, which Cor Von counters into a powerslam…which he doesn’t rotate far enough and drops Punk on his head (GEEZ). Punk is right back up with the GTS for a rather quick pin.

Rating: C. That powerslam was a scary spot and they got out of there fast, though they were running out of time anyway. Punk needed to move up the ladder as he has felt like one of the top stars around here for a long time. This would actually be Cor Von’s last match, as he would leave to take care of his nephews and never wrestle again.

Chris Benoit comes out for the staredown with Punk and the aggressive handshake ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This felt like they were moving forward for the first time in a good while. The Vince vs. Lashley feud went on for a long time but I don’t think there was ever any real doubt about how it was going to play out. Now we have a new direction and some new stars, which is what ECW has been needing. Not a great show, but a show going in the right, and much needed, direction.

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ECW on Sci Fi
Date: June 12, 2007
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

So everything changed last night as we have a brand new roster for all three shows (with more changes to come tomorrow afternoon), but the bigger story is that Vince McMahon got blown up real good. I think we’re going to have a focal point tonight, which might make for an odd show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The WWE flag at Titan Towers was at half mast today

We watch the last seven minutes or so of Raw, from Vince coming to the ring, leaving without saying anything, and then getting blown up.

We get a ten bell salute, with the fans not exactly upset that Vince is gone.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Balls Mahoney

Tonight’s matches are dedicated to Vince so naturally this is under Extreme Rules. Commentary talks about how great Vince was for bringing back ECW as Mahoney hammers away, apparently out of dedication to Mr. McMahon. They go outside with Dreamer pulling out the weapons, including a kitchen sink to Mahoney’s head. That doesn’t seem to do much as Mahoney knocks Dreamer down and whips out some weapons of his own.

Dreamer trashcans him down and sets up a chair, which of course he goes into face first. Another trashcan shot to the head puts Mahoney in the Tree of Woe, setting up the running dropkick to drive the can into Mahoney’s face. Dreamer grabs a table, because it wouldn’t be ECW without one. Mahoney gets put through it in a hurry and a DDT onto a chair gives Dreamer the pin.

Rating: D+. I get why they’re doing it, but dedicating a standard ECW brawl to Vince feels rather out of place given what Vince had been doing to the ECW Originals in recent months. At least they kept this relatively short, even though it was a cold match for the sake of filling time on the show.

Boogeyman vs. Matt Striker

Striker runs away to start but gets in a few shots as Boogeyman follows him inside. Some shots to the back make Boogeyman gyrate as Tazz talks about all the entertainment Vince McMahon gave us over the years. Boogeyman hits him a few times and finishes with the chokebomb.

Post match, Striker gets wormed.

We get some post Raw footage of fire trucks arriving and putting out the limo fire.

Joey and Tazz talk about how you could see the smoke from their hotel a mile away. Those little touches do a nice job of helping put together the big picture.

Chris Benoit/CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von

Punk and Cor Von start things off with Punk taking him down in a headlock. Cor Von reverses into a headlock of his own before running Punk over without much effort. The power gets Punk into the corner so Burke can come in, but Punk slips away and brings in Benoit. The big elbow to the face puts Burke on the floor and it’s time to beg off back inside. Cor Von comes back in and gets punched in the face over and over.

Punk’s springboard clothesline staggers Cor Von and villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Burke dropping an elbow on the back of Punk’s head to cut him off. Cor Von and Burke take turns stomping on Punk and a catapult sends Punk into the buckle. For some reason someone says ring the bell so the bell rings, only to have everything break down. Commentary is really confused until the referee says Cor Von was disqualified for attacking Punk until a five count. Even the wrestlers seemed a bit confused on that one.

Rating: C. The match was a fine way to bring in Benoit, but that ending left a few things to be desired. It’s nice to see the referee follow the rules, but dang it was confusing. It made me feel better when almost no one seemed to know what was going on though, as the wrestlers didn’t seem to know what was going on.

Post match Benoit and Punk beat on them a bit more.

We see the explosion one more time to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a weird show, as it was the day after the biggest angle the company has had in a long time. That had to be the focus of the show, but it also made this week’s show feel a lot less important. As a result, it was a mixture of a debut for some new wrestlers and a weird tribute, with the results not exactly working.

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Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #34
Date: June 2, 2007
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,176
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night before One Night Stand 2007 and this is a show that WWE is required to do while showing a bare minimum of interest. There has been almost no mention of this show on WWE TV and that is rarely a good sign for what we have coming. The show is only an hour and a half though so maybe we can get a little break this time around. Let’s get to it.

We have a theme this time: Biggest, Smallest, Strongest, Strangest. This is going to be a rough sit.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and a preview of tomorrow night’s title match. After a video on Khali being big and scary, we’re ready to go. Cena goes right at him to start but the FU attempt is blocked with a forearm to the back. Khali punches him into the corner without much effort and we hit the choking. An attempt at a takedown for the STFU is shrugged off and Khali runs him over with a clothesline. The fans tell Khali that he sucks as he pounds Cena down again and again. Another FU attempt manages to get Khali off of his feet but he elbows his way to freedom. The chokeslam finishes Cena, with Khali putting his foot on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for this one as we are a day away from One Night Stand and I don’t really care to see the match again. It wasn’t that good here and the original match was only so much better. I get the idea that it’s now a trilogy and Cena needs to overcome incredible odds, but it isn’t working for me here.

Post match Khali rants, which is translated to Khali saying he can beat Cena anywhere.

Here is Vince McMahon for some arm wrestling with Bobby Lashley, so we see a long history package recapping their feud. Lashley comes out and since this is WWE arm wrestling, we spend a good time on Vince getting ready to go. Actually hold on, because here is Mark Henry to take Vince’s place. Lawler: “Mr. McMahon always has something up his sleeves, even when he’s not wearing sleeves!” Henry takes over to start but Lashley makes the comeback, causing Henry to jump him to start the brawl. Lashley hits a spear to drop Henry but Vince smashes Lashley with a chair to leave him laying.

Maria asks Edge if he is the smallest or the strangest. Edge says none, and explains how he won the World Heavyweight Title. That’s why he isn’t the biggest, strongest, smallest or strangest, because he is the greatest. Good line.

Batista/Chris Benoit vs. MVP/Edge

Batista has a taped up leg coming in. Joined in progress with MVP hammering on Benoit in the corner and then dragging him over to Edge (who gets the hometown pop). Benoit is fine enough to snap off a suplex for two on Edge and then runs him over for a bonus. Batista comes in so Edge bails immediately, leaving Batista to beat up MVP instead. A boot to the face gives Batista two and it’s back to Benoit for the chops.

The rolling German suplexes plant MVP but Edge offers a distraction, meaning the Swan Dive misses. The villains take over on Benoit as Lawler accuses him of taking the coward’s way out. Some shots to the ribs set up a waistlock to keep Benoit in trouble, allowing commentary to list off Edge’s resume. MVP comes in to drop an elbow to the ribs but Benoit kicks him away. There’s the hot tag to Batista to pick up the pace as Edge walks out. The spinebuster into a Swan Dive finishes MVP.

Rating: C. This was pretty much any main event level tag match and it makes sense that Edge would walk out of a match that doesn’t mean anything to him. At the same time, it makes Edge appear to be afraid of Batista to make their cage match a little more interesting. I would think MVP vs. Benoit would be over, but why let it go so soon?

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The big guys start with Boogeyman shoving Finlay down despite having a mouth full of worms. A running shoulder in the corner sets up an atomic drop to keep Finlay in trouble so it’s off to Little Boogeyman for a running seated senton. Little Boogeyman punches away at Finlay, setting up a short (you know the jokes) DDT. Hornswoggle comes in for the brawl but Finlay dropkicks Little Boogeyman in the face. That means a jig from Finlay and Hornswoggle but Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle to the back. Finlay uses the distraction to kick Little Boogeyman in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. We’ll file this under “well what else were you expecting”. The wrestling wasn’t anything to see here but that also wasn’t exactly the point. This was about getting the wacky characters in the ring to continue their feud which likely doesn’t have much of a major endgame in mind. At least they kept (about half of it) short.

Extreme Expose, but we cut to the back where Little Boogeyman is chasing Hornswoggle. That leads into the regular Boogeyman but Finlay makes the save with the Shillelagh. We cut back to the dancing…and here is Hornswoggle, still running from Little Boogeyman. Naturally, this turns into a chicken fight between Brooke and Layla until everyone falls down. Little Boogeyman chases Hornswoggle away as WWE is somehow managing to make EXTREME EXPOSE too complicated.

Kane/Eugene/Doink the Clown vs. Kevin Thorn/Umaga/Viscera

This was originally Kane/Goldust/Shannon Moore/Kamala vs. Umaga/Viscera/Doink/Thorn but Goldust backed out and we get this instead. That’s not fair to Kamala, but nothing ever was. As a bonus, Eugene is now a superhero. Doink and Thorn start things off and the YAY/BOO chants begin. They circle each other for a good bit until Doink grabs a boot to the ribs. That finally earns him a push into the corner and the beating is on. Back up and it’s off to Eugene….who gets to face Umaga.

Eugene gets hammered down and Viscera comes in to send Eugene outside. Gyrations send us to a break and we come back with Umaga coming back in to stomp away. The nerve hold goes on to keep Eugene in trouble and Thorn’s chinlock does the same. Eugene finally manages to escape and brings in Kane to clean house. Everything breaks down and Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Thorn but Umaga makes the save. Viscera misses a charge at Kane in the corner and gets chokeslammed for the pin.

Rating: D. That’s about all you could have hoped for it to be. This was as exciting as a match where they sat around for nine minutes waiting on the hot tag to Kane was going to be. The original lineup wouldn’t have made this any better as it was going to be Kane and a bunch of goofs vs. Umaga and his slightly more effective goofs, so how good could this have been?

A two minute highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was terrible, as they managed to have one ok match, a bunch of bad ones, and then somehow found a way to turn Extreme Expose into a joke. I’m sure this was a required show from NBC but it would have been nice to see the slightest bit of effort. The EST theme was something, but egads they managed to waste an hour and a half of everyone’s time with this mess.

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

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Smackdown
Date: May 25, 2007
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Judgment Day and now we have less than two weeks to go before One Night Stand. Edge cheated to defeat Batista and retain the Smackdown World Title so we might be in for a rematch at the next pay per view. I’m not sure what else we’ll be getting but building to a low level pay per view can be rough. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

The opening video, set to Ozzy Osborne’s I Don’t Wanna Stop, looks at Edge becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and retaining against Batista on Sunday.

Here is Edge to get things going. Edge talks about the praise Batista vs. Undertaker has been receiving but where did it get them? Nowhere, other than leaving them vulnerable for the Ultimate Opportunist. Edge beat Undertaker and Batista 1-2-3 and here he is as the World Heavyweight Champion. This is the Rated R Era and it DOES NOT SUCK, despite what the fans say. Cue Teddy Long to announce a #1 contenders match for tonight, with Kane vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Batista. Edge can go with that, but Teddy ups the ante by putting the title match inside a steel cage.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Hold on though as here are Deuce N Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Taylor headlocks Kendrick down to start but gets monkey flipped for his effort. A dropkick puts Taylor on the floor but he counters a headscissors into a toss out to the floor. Regal comes in to fire off some knees to the face (simple yet effective), setting up the wishbone split. Kendrick manages to dodge a shot though and the hot tag brings in London to clean house. A spinwheel kick drops Regal but Domino shoves London off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino needs to go far away but I’ll take this over half of a team vs. half of a team. Regal and Taylor are the kind of team who can always have a place on the roster as you can always use some brawlers. This was a perfectly fine match and that’s all they could hope for with so little time.

Post match the big brawl is on.

We look back at Randy Orton injuring Shawn Michaels at Judgment Day.

Hornswoggle has stolen the World Heavyweight Title and Edge is giving chase. They run into Finlay, who makes Hornswoggle give it back to Edge, for now.

Jillian Hall is singing in the ring when Boogeyman, with full entrance, comes out but she somehow doesn’t notice him until he’s in the ring. Jillian bails but Michelle McCool throws her back in for the worming.

Teddy Long officially makes Vickie Guerrero his assistant and she’s rather happy. Vickie leaves and Krystal offers to thank Teddy for his decision.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start with JBL ranting about how evil the Guerreros are. Miz elbows his way out of a hammerlock and bends Matt’s neck around the rope. The cravate goes on and Hardy can’t even roll his way to freedom. An elbow drop misses but Miz is fine enough to pull him down by the hair for two more.

Matt fights up with forearms to the face but gets caught with the running corner clothesline for another near fall. The chinlock goes on so Matt fights up with right hands and the clothesline. Matt’s middle rope elbow gets two and the Side Effect is good for the same. A right hand sets up the Twist of Fate (which Miz takes like a swinging neckbreaker) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly basic but nicely done match and I’ll absolutely take that. Above all else, Miz looked WAY more comfortable in there, even if Matt was probably walking him through every step. That’s why you put him in there with a veteran like Hardy. Well done here, and one of Miz’s most impressive performances, just because of how big a step forward it seemed to be.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt people and wants the World Title match at One Night Stand.

Here is MVP for his United States Championship celebration. In quite a few words, MVP says he told us so and now he’s right here as US Champion. Then he just flat out says “I told you so”. There is one thing missing from this celebration, so here is Chris Benoit to look really serious. MVP sticks out his hand and Benoit gives him a very firm shake but MVP goes into a bragging speech about beating Benoit two straight falls. Now he wants Benoit to raise his hand because he is better than Benoit on any given day. Instead it’s some rolling German suplexes to send MVP bailing.

We look at John Cena surviving against Great Khali at Judgment Day.

Maryse throws us to the Throw It On Me video.

Kane promises to win tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Yang takes him into the corner to start but Chavo slips away for a standoff. They fight over arm control until Chavo takes him down, only to get reversed into a headlock. Back up and Chavo dropkicks the knee out and starts cranking away on the leg. Yang fights up but gets pulled down into a stretch muffler. Make that a half crab as Chavo is at least mixing things up a bit. Back up and Yang hits an enziguri to start the comeback in a hurry. Chavo manages to grab the Three Amigos but the frog splash is broken up. Yang gets knocked away so Chavo tries a sunset bomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t care. This is the same thing that WWE has done for the better part of ever with this title and it isn’t going to change a freaking thing. The champ loses to set up a title match where the title is retained and it is forgotten days later as we start the whole thing over again. Both guys are completely acceptable in the ring but this is the most tired and played out idea WWE has had in years.

Batista promises to win.

Batista vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. Kane

The winner gets a title shot against Edge, on commentary, at One Night Stand in a cage. It’s a brawl to start with Batista and Henry fighting on the floor as the other two stay inside. We take a break and come back with everyone in the ring again until Kane and Finlay head outside. That leaves Henry to hit a quick World’s Strongest Slam on Batista with Finlay making the same.

Kane goes up top for a clothesline to put Henry down and Batista’s top rope shoulder hits Henry as well. That’s still not enough to keep Henry down as he fights up and hammers on Kane. Batista drops Henry and spinebusters Kane but Henry is back up again. Finlay is back in and cleans house with the Shillelagh but Batista is fine enough to hit the Batista Bomb for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Take four monsters (or at least a good brawler in Finlay’s case) and have them hit each other over and over again. That’s what we got here and it was a solid way to set up the rematch. Batista had to get around Henry and the Shillelagh, plus the always dangerous Kane to get back at Edge. It feels like he had to do something here and the match worked.

Batista stares down at Edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like Raw, this felt like a bridge between pay per views, neither of which was all that important in the first place. The wrestling was mostly ok at best and they set things up, but it isn’t like any of this felt important. They need to get done with One Night Stand so we can move on to something fresh, because this crop of stories is pretty much out of gas.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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