Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2006 (2013 Redo): It Never Feels Right

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2006 (Original): Get The Eddie Chants Going

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler,

The main changes are Batista and Cena. They’ve more or less taken over the company as the biggest things in the world. Except for Batista because he’s out with an injury. Edge is the current reigning world champion though as he had more or less stolen the title at New Year’s Revolution. He’s got his rematch with Cena tonight. On the other side, Mark Henry is main eventing the show. I give up.

The other main issue is of course the death of Eddie Guerrero, which there’s been more than enough written about already. Other than that, there’s just not a lot going on here. This more or less is the first Rumble of what would be classified as the modern era, so let’s get to it.

The intro is just a recap of the major feuds. For some reason, Angle vs. Henry gets the most hype. Naturally they push Raw vs. Smackdown again. Edge is the Rated R Champion now. Lita’s stomach is the thing that dreams are made of. I’ve always wanted to say that. For reasons that no one will ever comprehend, the theme is Roman or something, which meant nothing and no one wanted to see. Stephanie in Roman clothing was nice though.

Cruiserweight Championship: Cruiserweight Open

This is the standard thing they were doing back in the day as they had completely given up on having any kind of storylines or flow to the division, so they just said screw it and threw everyone into one massive match where everyone is legal at once. In this, you have to be either the current Champion or a former champion. The participants are Kid Kash who is the champion, Paul London, Nunzio, Funaki, Gregory Helms and Jamie Noble.

London is wearing a gold mask for some reason that was never really explained. Helms is a surprise here. Oh geez there’s a Roman theme again where they have guys opening the door where people from out of the back from. It’s kind of like KOTR 96 for those of you that have seen that. Helms is from Raw here so he’s an outsider or something like that. Shockingly, the match is a huge mess to start as there are no tags or anything like that. Screw that order stuff.

London’s dropsault is stupid when it’s just one person but it’s cool when there’s two. It’s completely not effective but it looks good. Heck Rock won a bunch of world titles like that though so who cares? London looks like Tajiri for some reason. This is a pure spotfest here with nothing resembling flow or a story or anything like that, which makes sense I guess. At least they didn’t try as that would have been really stupid.

In a nice spot, Funaki whips Noble in and he launches a suicide dive through the ropes to take out two guys. You can tell a lot of these spots are preplanned but that’s fine as it’s working pretty well for what it’s supposed to be. With almost everyone else on the floor, London goes to the top rope and throws a shooting star press to the floor, more or less missing everyone and just slamming into the floor.

It looked PAINFUL and the fans give him a well deserved hokey smoke chant. In a cool spot that I haven’t seen before, London and Helms are on the top and Helms hits a swinging neckbreaker to get us back on the mat. It looked a lot better than it sounds.

For those of you that don’t know, Kash was a fairly big deal in ECW but other than that he’s been a minor player at best. The steps in the background are orange here so it looks like a bunch of empty seats. They get really fast in a hurry but it gets cut off too fast as Helms hits a Shining Wizard to Funaki for the pin.

Rating: B-. Now before everyone jumps on me, this isn’t the same kind of grade that I would give a normal match because this wasn’t supposed to be a standard match. This was designed to be completely insane and all spots to get the crowd awake and it worked fine. That’s the point of this and it did its job, so it gets a decent grade. There is no story to something like this and there shouldn’t be. Helms would hold the belt over a year.

Vince and Teddy long are around the Rumble drawing and Vince tells Long to leave. Naturally there are three hot women there. Orton and HHH come in and draw their numbers. Orton is happy and HHH hates his. Sex jokes abound as these two continue their eternal battle that never goes anywhere. Victoria looks incredible.

Trish is getting ready to be the referee. Mickie James says she loves her, and we have a lesbian stalker angle.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

For no apparent reason, this isn’t for the title as Trish is the referee and the champion here. They would have a decent match at Mania. This is back when Mickie was not only insane but also wore ridiculously awesome skirts. Ashley was one of the biggest flops in wrestling history as the winner of the Diva search who was just awful on a lot of levels. If nothing else we have Lillian, Mickie and Trish in the same ring. That’s not bad at all.

They have a headlock and actually go to the floor without breaking it up. That’s hard to do. Ashley can’t even lock up right. That’s almost sad. What’s sadder is that Joey has to say she’s a superstar. Oh yeah this was also when Mickie would scream her head off, which I’ve always liked for some reason. Ashley tried at least so I’ll give her that. The crowd is completely dead by the way. Mickie’s figure is flat out mesmerizing.

This is so odd to see someone with so much talent like James and someone with so little in Ashley. The thing here is that Mickie loves Trish but Trish trained Ashley. There are far too many bad submissions being done here to have a coherent match too. Ashley goes on offense and while it’s really bad, she’s trying. You can tell the different between someone that just doesn’t want to be there and Ashley, while bad, is trying.

However, her offense is either so limited or the fans like Mickie so much that they completely turn on her and boo her LOUDLY. Mickie powerbombs her out of the corner and Trish is really hesitant to count it, which is either part of the angle or then just giving up and saying let’s try to save some face here and just ending it early. Either of those would be believable to me.

Rating: C-. And that’s as generous as I can be. Ashley was bad here, but she was trying as hard as she could and I can easily respect that. Now later on when she just didn’t care, screw that. The fans turning on her like that annoyed me, but I can get what their point was. This was really just to set up Trish vs. Mickie, which is fine.

We see Helms at the WWE Interactive area, which means he’s chatting on WWE.com, which WCW had about 10 years prior to this.

More Rumble drawings with Rey and Big Show. It’s preceded by Vince checking the girls’ tattoos which is just annoying and stupid. In a funny bit, Show can’t get his hand in the tumbler to get a number out. Show is pleased and Rey is…oh screw it. They’re talking about Eddie again, which draws a huge chant and gives away the ending to the Rumble. Ok, before this comes up later, let’s just get it out of the way now.

The WWE needs to understand something. No wait, actually wrestling in general needs to understand something. When a wrestler dies unexpectedly, it doesn’t make them better. Eddie was indeed a very good if not great wrestler, but based on the things you hear about him now, you would think he was Ric Flair. He’s more about the level of Randy Orton or so. However, the undisputed champion of this is ECW with Louie Spicolli.

He was the epitome of an ok if not decent wrestler that was all of a sudden great after he died from a drug overdose. He simply was not as good as people made him out to be. For all of you ECW marks out there, show me ONE very good Spicolli match. It doesn’t even have to be great.

Show me one time where he had a great match. What was my point here? Oh yeah. Eddie was very good, but he only became considered great after dying. “KB you don’t know anything. He won the world title!” Yeah well this is 2 days after TLC and Sheamus is world champion so the belt really doesn’t prove all that much does it?

JBL vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is that JBL is terrified of Boogey. Oh and Boogey bit the “mole” off of Jillian’s face. She’s his assistant here or something like that. My goodness JBL has fallen far since winning the world title less than two years before this. It continues to amuse me when someone like Boogeyman is weighed in. And now I’m annoyed. I’ve never liked the Boogeyman character for one reason: he makes a mockery of wrestling.

Now yes, there’s a lot of stupid characters and while I tend to dislike the majority of them, when they can have a decent match, it’s almost acceptable. Boogeyman couldn’t do that, so when he does stuff like eat worms, then spit them up and spit them down into Jillian’s mouth, I have no use for him at all. It continues to have stupidity attached to it as we have to hear about how disgusted the announcers are.

Seriously, the Four Horsemen are in the same business as this guy. That’s just ridiculous. Thankfully, this lasts about a minute and a half, as after a stupid brawl where Boogey sells nothing at all, JBL misses a Clothesline and somehow slams into the post in a completely awful looking spot. A pumphandle slam ends it.

Rating: F-. This would usually be an N/A, but this was just a complete and utter waste of time. Seriously, why did this need to happen? I know it took less than 5 minutes, but really, there was NOTHING else we could have used that for? I hate gimmicks like these, I truly do.

Vince hits on the girls more and you can see they hate it. Shelton’s mama shows up. This was a freaking stupid gimmick where Shelton’s mom showed up to make sure he was taken care of. It was some comedienne that no one has ever heard of in a fat suit. You figure out how well it worked. Melina shows up and gets hit on too. Mama prevents him from hitting on her.

MNM, Joey Mercury and Johnny “Morrison” Nitro show up to draw as well. Both seem fairly middle of the road with their numbers. Melina says they’ll eliminate Shawn. We finish this long segment off with more Vince hitting on the girls. They eventually became a stable called Vince’s Devils. Yeah it went nowhere.

Before the Rumble starts, we have the Spirit Squad. Now for those of you that weren’t around for these guys, they were male cheerleaders that won the tag titles from Kane and Big Show. Amazingly everyone said the only one with talent was Kenny Dykstra. The one known as Nick became known as Dolph Ziggler. What does that tell you? Lillian is jaw dropingly hot here.

Royal Rumble

Lillian flubbing her lines is somehow sexy. How is that possible? HHH is number one and Rey is number two. Well you certainly can’t say they’re using no names to start us out. This is big match that’s never happened before. Oh the intervals are 90 seconds here. Oh here we go Rey is driving a lowrider. HEY, WE GET IT ABOUT EDDIE! I wouldn’t be so annoyed about it, but seriously, he brought up Eddie in the BATISTA feud.

Oh look he draped an Eddie shirt on the car. This is freaking ridiculous because it’s obvious Rey is going to win here for the sake of “honoring Eddie.” Rey’s entrance reaches Taker levels of time. He does the ten punches in the corner and looks up before he does it. This is freaking ridiculous and we’re just hitting number 3 which is Simon Dean. Cole, who is doing the commentary with Lawler, FREAKS because a Smackdown guy is attacking a Smackdown guy.

They team up and eliminate him easily. Have I mentioned that I hate the Bronco Buster? Psicosis of the Mexicools is 4th. They were a team of Mexican stereotypes who rode lawnmowers. I wish I was making that up. Rey counters a Razor’s Edge to put him out with ease again so we stay with those two guys. Number 5 is Flair of all people. He trips coming into the ring as Rey is down for no apparent reason.

Flair and HHH hammer on each other for awhile as I think HHH is a heel here. Oh yeah he would be. That was a stupid comment. He and Flair feuded over the IC belt of all things in some decent matches. You know for a guy that was allegedly the biggest ladies man ever, he used a lot of testicular claws. He’s gone soon after and we’re back at 2 people. Big Show is 6th so hopefully we get people in here for awhile.

He’s mad at HHH also, which is still going on today, which works as it’s been less than five years ago so a feud can easily go on that long. Naturally Show dominates here. With an eyeroll from me, Coach is number 7. Why did he always get spots in the Rumble? Show puts him out in about 30 seconds. Show demonstrates his intelligence by having HHH above his head twice and not even getting close to the ropes.

The announcers say that Coach might have set a record for shortest time in the Rumble. That’s so stupid I’m not even going to bother making fun of it. Lashley is 8th and they say he could be a dark horse. Can I get a rim shot? He’s a rookie phenomenon here, meaning that his career wouldn’t mean much since Vince refused to ever pull the trigger on him, even though he tried. In an impressive move, he gets a backdrop on Show as Kane, who is currently tag champions with Show, is 9th.

He and Lashley square off in a match of two guys that will never win a world title in WWE again. In a very impressive looking spot that wasn’t really that impressive, he hits the Dominator on Kane. Rey has been down WAY too long for no apparent reason. Sylvan, playing a gay character who doesn’t actually say he’s gay is 10th. He’s the fashion consultant or something. Yeah he’s gone in about 30 seconds.

Show and Kane hit a double chokeslam on Lashley and throw him out. So HHH and Rey are more or less just laying on the mat for about 5-6 minutes at a time which is again, stupid. HHH puts Kane and Big Show out, thus reaffirming his theory that he could out fight God if he had to.

Carlito is 11th, as other than the first two guys, no one has lasted 10 minutes yet. I really don’t like this theory of only having a few guys in there for the majority of the match. The Rumble should have about 6-7 guys in the ring for the majority of the match. It’s just right and it allows for things to not be too boring but also not too weak. Benoit is 12th as we’re picking up a bit.

He chops and suplexes the heck out of everyone just because he’s Chris Benoit and they’re not. Carlito gets a crossface for good measure as Benoit is freaking awesome. He and HHH fight over a suplex with Benoit on the apron which was cool looking if nothing else. The Canadian fights out of that and hits the headbutt on HHH so Carlito can get back up. Booker is 13th and the US Champion at the moment.

He’s wearing long tights which looks odd indeed. He would become king in a few months. Yep Booker is gone already, naturally by Benoit as those two were eternally joined at the hip for some reason. Apparently 20 minutes or so is a long time now. So the most we’ve had is what, 5 people I believe?

Mercury of MNM is 14th and since he brings Melina with him, he’s awesome. I love the way they carried the belts as they hung them from their pants so they swung between their legs. It’s original if nothing else. Mercury really is underrated in the ring. He’s a lot better than people realize. Cole brags about setting ratings records on UPN. That’s just hilarious. Tatanka is 15th to ZERO reaction.

He returned for a few months and no one, I mean NO ONE cared at all. His offense has somehow gotten even more generic if that’s possible which I didn’t think it was. The fans do the Florida St. Seminole chant to try to validate his entrance. Nitro is 16th. More commonly known as John Morrison if you’re not familiar. Tatanka beats on him, which somehow validated Matt Hardy and Tatanka vs. MNM on PPV in a non title match. You read that right.

The fans chant Eddie to just tick me off even more. Only Vince would manage to use death to push storylines. Trevor Murdoch is 17th. To recap we have HHH, Rey, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch and for some reason Tatanka. Cole takes a lull to mention that Rey is dedicating this match to Eddie. Eugene is 18th, and is booed out of the freaking building. He’s a classic case of a comedy character being used badly.

Rey hurts him to get a solid pop. For the love of goodness Animal of the LOD is 19th. Seriously, who picked these people? Oh apparently the new LOD are the long time rivals of MNM. You know, the team that’s been around for a few months. There are WAY too many people in there right now. RVD is 20th to a HUGE pop. Thankfully for the first time in history the company listened to the pop and made him world champion in June before he smoked his way out of the main event.

Oh yeah this was the summer that ECW returned. He cleans house of course. MNM is doing the Demolition thing of teaming up on everyone which is smart. Animal is out thank goodness. Orlando Jordan is 21st and I somehow manage to lose even more interest in this match. There are FAR too many people in the ring at the moment. Chavo is 22nd. Ok, him I have no problem with doing the pointing thing. There’s your difference between Chavo and Rey.

Chavo won a match with JBL on the Eddie tribute show, pointed to the sky a few times, and started using the frog splash. He’s mentioned Eddie a few times over the years, but for the most part he’s just said that he’s a Guerrero which he would have been no matter what. He had one angle with Rey over the Guerrero name, which made sense when you thought about it. That’s perfectly fine.

Then you have Rey, who used the splash, drove a lowrider, blew one up, pointed to the sky and dedicated about a year’s worth of matches to Eddie, using him as an angle and getting the world title because of it. He still mentions Eddie for storylines 4 years after Eddie passed away. There’s paying homage then there’s just being freaking ridiculous. What does Chavo get for being more humble about it? He lasts a minute here while Rey lasts an hour.

Of course Chavo shouldn’t have won or been in the last group or anything, but would 10-15 minutes have killed anyone? Seriously, Tatanka can get a long time but Chavo can’t? Matt Hardy is 23rd. There’s like 12 people in there right now and it’s absurd. You can’t see a thing in there at the moment either. Tatanka FINALLY goes out as Super Crazy is 24th. What is the point of half these guys being in here?

Shawn is 25th to a nice pop. He gets pyro when he comes out which is odd in a Rumble match. He ends Murdoch to thin the ranks out a bit. Chris Masters, who is more or less a newcomer at this point, somehow gets pyro also at 26th. I’m not even bothering to try to tell who all is in there at this point. Nothing of note is happening anyway. Viscera, currently the world’s largest love machine is 27th.

He puts out the far more talented Matt Hardy, but not before giving him the Visagra, which is where the other guy is on his stomach and Viscera gets on top of them and gyrates his hips. Yeah it’s worse than it sounds. Shelton is in next along with his mother. This is somehow stupider than I thought it was going to be. Eugene is gone, leaving a huge pool of sweat on the mat beneath him.

They’re really speeding up the intervals here to get through this. Goldust, who is returning for like the 12th time is 29th. That leaves Orton as number 30. Rey puts Crazy out as Orton comes out last. Ok, so your final group is Rey, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Shawn, Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Yeah that’s not too many people at all. Screw the sarcasm. YES IT’S TOO MANY FREAKING PEOPLE!

Geez do you think 14, or just under half of the people being left at the end is enough? Why don’t we just get rid of the whole unique aspect of the freaking match and make it a regular battle royal like the classic World War 3 series that WCW used to do? Those things went great didn’t they? Dang it Vince how hard is it to book a freaking Rumble? You have about 7-8 guys in at the end, 5-6 of them are big names and two or three jobbers.

Three are legit contenders, three are dark horses, and two are jobbers. There, that took 8 seconds to come up with. Orton puts Benoit out which Cole says is a rematch from Summerslam two years ago. More like a year and a half but who cares about facts? Carlito and Masters put out Viscera and then Carlito throws out Masters. Goldust takes forever to set up Shattered Dreams but at least manages to kick that turnbuckle really well.

RVD puts him out just before Orton puts out Jordan. Shawn and HHH go at it to keep the balance of the universe in order. Shawn puts out both of MNM within 5 seconds of each other to further kill the tag division which HHH and Shawn are the current champions of as of this being written. Sweet Chin Music puts out Shelton as Shawn is on a roll. Vince’s music hits as he and Shawn were feuding at the moment. He distracts Shawn so Shane can put Shawn out.

That leaves us with Rey, HHH, Carlito, Orton and RVD. Well I’m glad they took their time getting rid of the people. Shawn goes after Shane but HHH stops him but gets chin music. HBK chases the McMahons out because he’s a face and they’re heels. Van Dam puts Carlito out to give us our final four of Rey, HHH, Orton and RVD. RVD was returning so he wasn’t going to win.

HHH and Orton were possible and Rey was the clear winner so there we go. They split off with HHH vs. Rey and Orton vs. RVD. The faces hit some nice double team stuff to hurt the heels. Van Dam shows how stupid he is by going for a Five Star and gets put out. Orton and HHH get together for no apparent reason other than to beat up a guy that’s 5’5. However, Rey is empowered by the memories of a guy that he feuded with so he takes them both down.

Orton fights HHH. In other news, the sky is blue. Rey puts out HHH and it’s officially inevitable. Rey gets beaten up by HHH to just further make us take note of how awesome Rey is. Orton acts cocky and yeah Mysterio is going to Mania. Orton would get in and make it a triple threat where Rey would win the title and of course, dedicate it to Eddie since that’s all he’s allowed to do.

Rating: D. Eddie oversaturation aside, this Rumble sucked and it sucked hard. The booking was way off here as there were far too few guys in the ring at first and far too few in the end. The Rey thing annoys the heck out of me as people like to say RIP Eddie, yet they have zero problem with his history being exploited for the sake of bad storylines. Rey was passable as champion, but let him get there on his own and not because a guy died. That’s just stupid.

Other than that, WAY too many jobbers and fillers in there, which kind of reflects on the company as a whole. Seriously, why did Booker and Lashley stay in there for just a bit? To be fair, Booker was hurt so that might explain it. Either way, this match was awful in a lot of ways and I hated it quite a bit.

Rey is happy with his win.

We recap Cena vs. Edge, which was a result of the first cashing in of the Money in the Bank in a truly shocking moment. This was a huge thing as Cena was completely dominant and everyone was TICKED when he held the title again after the Elimination Chamber.

But when Vince’s music went on, everyone knew what was coming and it was awesome. Naturally Cena insisted on a rematch and talked about respect and having the title mean a lot to him. This was also the reign with the live sex celebration that apparently made Edge’s career better than Taker’s.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

So the scaffolds from the ceiling begin to lower. Smoke and lights and pyro go off. Styles says it looks like a spaceship. Yep, Cena is getting a special entrance that of course looks awesome. More or less his feet are where the top of his head would be if he was walking normally. Yeah there’s nothing at all that’s being implied about who wins here at all. Lita of course looks completely amazing. If nothing else I’ve heard Edge’s theme live so that’s cool.

For the love of all things good and holy, change the spinner belt. The W is spun almost halfway around and it just looks stupid. It starts off with their standard stuff which is traditionally good. Cena starts off in control but thanks to Lita Edge hits a spear into the steps, which more or less proves that he desperately needs a new finisher. We go into the crowd for just a bit but it goes nowhere. Cena dives in to beat the ten count which if nothing else looked cool.

Edge goes old school with his spinning heel kick. Why is Joey Styles the only commentator that mentions the referee’s names consistently? Cena can sell really well if nothing else. Good night Lita’s chest is amazing. The announcers get into an interesting argument: who is the better technical wrestler? That’s a most interesting question that’s going to get a thread soon. Edge’s facials remain awesome as ever. The crowd is fairly loudly booing John here.

Edge chokes Cena so of course despite being put in a hold that should kill him or would end any MMA fight, he gets up with ease. Both guys are down so we get another few shots of Lita’s chest to fill time. Following some botched interference from the hot chick, the FU and STFU give Cena the belt again. That was abrupt.

Rating: B. Eh, this was what it was. Cena and Edge work together just fine so their matches are almost always passable. Edge was more or less given the title as a test run and that’s fine. He got his name in there and that’s what counts. Cena was definitely the right choice to have the belt going into Mania so I have no issues with the booking here. The match was fine and it came off well. It’s nothing great but it’s fine for a title change that goes 15 minutes.

In case you were wondering, Rey is still happy that he won.

We do a very quick, as in about 10 second long recap of Angle vs. Henry, which consists of Henry breaking the ankle lock, which had been done by about 15 people up to this point, but it’s impressive here because of POWER. Angle was a transitional champion if there ever was one.

He took over when Batista got hurt (shocking isn’t it?) so he’s held the title less than three weeks at this point. Angle does his usual solid promo and then comes back to tell Henry he sucks. That’s what makes Angle better than most. He would head to TNA later in the year and be a huge coup for TNA.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

So Daivari used to hang out with Angle but he dumped him for Henry for no apparent reason. Soon after this Khali would show up. Yeah Angle is introduced as the new World Heavyweight Champion here. That’s the beauty of having guys like Angle or Shawn on your roster.

If something like an injury happens, you can throw the title on them for a quick fix and because they hang around the upper midcard with occasional main event matches, it’s perfectly believable to put the belt on them and no one really had a problem with Angle as champion. We get a fairly long feeling out period, but Henry catches Angle in position for the World’s Strongest Slam. Naturally though instead of slamming him though, he throws him to the floor.

More or less Henry beats the tar out of Angle for awhile as you would expect. Good night Henry you’ve been in the company ten years at this point. Don’t you think it’s time you learned some new offense? I mean really, we know you can slam, club, punch and squeeze. LEARN ANYTHING NEW. Angle gets a bad German, but to be fair, look what he’s working with. Angle Slam gets two. Henry powers out of the ankle lock using the same counter that everyone else uses to knock the referee down.

Angle gets a bad chair shot to Daivari and takes it into the ring. The chair is bent which always looks cool. Angle goes Hogan and cheats but remains a face. Two decent chair shots put Henry down but the fans are more or less dead here. They of course get two which gets a decent pop. I really don’t get the point of the chairs this early in the match. Angle pulls the turnbuckle pad off the middle turnbuckle and sends Henry’s head into it on a reversal for the pin. Really? That’s the best you’ve got?

Rating: D-. I have no freaking clue what they were going for here, but it was just an epic failure. Henry had no business being in there but he came off looking like a far bigger face than Angle did. It was really short, and I have no idea what the point was of this main eventing the show. Oh wait. Now I get it.

A gong goes off and the lights go purple. Ok, Taker has druids and a horse drawn chariot. That makes up for the main event. He signals that he wants the belt and sets off lightning. The ropes fall to the ground and the ring collapses as Angle holds the belt to his chest as we go off the air. Ok, that was freaking cool.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very lackluster show. I know a lot of people will love the Eddie tributes etc. but I HATED them. One or two points to the sky and some frog splashes are just fine but seriously, giving the Rumble and ultimately the world title to a guy over Eddie? That’s WAY too much. Other than that, there’s just nothing special here at all. Edge and Cena is pretty easily the match of the night.

This show really was more about setting up for the future though, as Cena had to get the belt back and Angle had to get set up with Taker, which they managed to accomplish both. This really started setting the table for Mania, so that’s fine, but the show just wasn’t that interesting. Not recommended at all really, although some people might like it.




Smackdown – March 31, 2006: The One Time A Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 31, 2006
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that’s probably the best thing that can happen to Smackdown at the moment. The blue matches are already set and have been for a good while. That has left us with some rather weak shows on the way to Chicago but tonight is the last stop. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton causing issues before Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle.

Here is Mysterio to open things up. He wastes no time this week and calls out Orton right now but here’s Angle instead. Angle wants Orton tonight so he can beat him here and then do it again at Wrestlemania. No one beats him, including Rey on Sunday. Cue Orton to call both of them ladies, sending Rey and Angle into an argument over who gets to face Orton tonight. Orton suggests a handicap match and then changes his mind because he isn’t wrestling tonight. He’ll see you in Chicago but here’s Teddy Long to interrupt.

Teddy likes the idea of a handicap match but Orton says Teddy is giving Rey another favor like he did when he put Rey in the main event of Wrestlemania. Angle seems to agree so Rey thinks Angle doesn’t respect him. Orton cuts them off and suggests Rey vs. Angle tonight so Rey can prove himself. They’re both down and Teddy makes the match. As for now, security is going to escort Orton out.

A ranting Orton left during the break.

Chris Benoit vs. Road Warrior Animal

Non-title. Before the match, Animal rants about how he is a legend but doesn’t have a spot at Wrestlemania. Benoit gets shoved around to start but Benoit takes him to the floor without much trouble. Back in and Benoit rolls the German suplexes so Animal tries the brass knuckles. Benoit doesn’t mind and snaps on the Crossface for the easy tap.

Benoit goes to the back where an applauding JBL and Jillian Hall are waiting for him. JBL talks about taking the World Title from another technical wrestler in Eddie Guerrero so he knows he can do it to Benoit as well. Benoit is glad JBL’s hand is healed because he’ll need it to tap out.

This Week In Wrestling History: Wrestlemania II with the battle royal, where William Perry and Big John Studd eliminated each other.

Perry is going into the Hall of Fame this year.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Daniel Cross

JBL has Daniel Cross with him and Cross is having his fifth career match. His fifth career loss comes after less than a minute and a pair of Clotheslines From JBL.

Hall of Fame rundown.

Miz is still coming, but first he needs to invade Titan Towers.

Booker T. vs. Paul Burchill

Sharmell is here too and they both look scared of the Boogeyman. Booker knocks him around to start but Burchill hits a quick crossbody….and it’s Boogeyman time. Sharmell freaks out and tries to leave but they’re scared of Boogeyman’s smoke. There is no Boogeyman so Booker checks underneath the ring, with Boogeyman coming out the other side and kidnapping Sharmell. Booker gets counted out somewhere in there as the angle disguised as a match wraps up.

Post break, Booker can’t find Sharmell. Just follow the screaming.

Bobby Lashley/Tatanka/Matt Hardy vs. MNM/Finlay

Hardy and Mercury start things off and it’s quickly off to Lashley to beat up MNM (again). A Finlay distraction cuts Lashley off but he shrugs them off all over again. Tatanka comes in for a dropkick to Nitro and a legdrop gets two. Finlay comes in and hammers on Tatanka so it’s off to Mercury, who gets punched in the face. Good grief MNM are presented as such helpless losers. Tatanka suplexes both champs down and hands it off to Matt to clean house. Everything breaks down and Lashley gets to clean house, leaving Matt to hit the Twist of Fate to finish Mercury.

Rating: D+. Sweet goodness MNM can’t buy some good luck at this point. Was anyone looking for a rehash of Hardy/Tatanka vs. MNM? Matt getting a win is fine, but was there no one else for him to beat? Nothing to see here, but at least Lashley got to clean some house. Just stop making it the champs’ house.

Here’s Mark Henry in a suit for a funeral for Undertaker. With a choir singing over the speakers, Henry goes over the victims of the Streak, giving us a rather rare Giant Gonzalez reference. The future is in Henry though brothers and sisters, amen. He is the man who took out Batista and he will end the Streak. This didn’t need the funeral theme but lining up the names was a nice idea.

Mexicools vs. Jamie Noble/Kid Kash

Jamie goes nuclear by messing with the lawnmower on the way to the ring, meaning the fight is on in a hurry. Kash takes Psicosis into the corner to start and Noble comes in to run him down with an elbow to the face. Super Crazy gets knocked off the apron so Noble can choke away behind the referee’s back. The camel clutch goes on with Noble pulling at the face before Psicosis dropkicks him out of the air. The hot tag brings in Crazy and house is cleaned with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Kash. Noble hits a neckbreaker and Kash goes up top but Crazy super Spanish Flys him down for the pin.

Rating: C. This was one of those matches you usually only see right before a major pay per view, with the cruiserweights getting to go in there and getting to do their stuff for a few minutes. The good thing is that these people are talented enough to make it work because they can do this kind of stuff in their sleep. Perfectly fine match and a completely acceptable use of TV time.

Booker looks for Sharmell by following a trail of worms.

Post break, Booker follows Sharmell’s screams (and the worms) and finds….Sharmell on a box and screaming a lot because she’s scared of the worms. Boogeyman is far down the hall and laughs a lot. Please get to the end of this already.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Angle drives him into the corner to start and then takes him down by the arm. The headlock on the mat keeps Rey in trouble but he gets in a drop toehold into the ropes. Angle gets away from the 619 attempt though and things reset. A headscissors into the corner and another one to the floor have Angle in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Angle sending him hard into the corner to band up the ribs and we hit the waistlock. The bodyscissors goes on but Rey fights up, only to get snapped over in an overhead belly to belly for two. The reverse chinlock with a knee in Rey’s back goes on but Rey fights up again and hits a sitout bulldog. A basement dropkick gets two and a springboard seated senton gets the same. Rey misses a charge into the corner though and it’s a release German suplex to send him flying. There go the straps but the ankle lock is countered into a 619, which is countered into an ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. You have to give the fans some kind of an important match on the show and putting two of the best ever out there is a good way to go. They had a fair amount of rest holds and stuff where they could lay around here and that’s not a bad thing. The good side here is the fact that Angle and Mysterio are still very great, even when they’re not at full gear. Nice main event and easily the best thing on the show.

Post match here’s Orton for the RKO to Rey as Angle looks on. Orton says Angle is getting the same thing on Sunday so Angle charges back in. The RKO is countered into an Angle Slam and the ankle lock to make Orton tap to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is always a weird one as you can only get so much out of a Smackdown where they are trying to get to Wrestlemania safely. The main event is good as you would expect, but the rest is a bunch of quick appearances from people who are going to be at Wrestlemania. It isn’t much to see, but that is hardly a surprise this time around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – March 3, 2006: The In Your House Version

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2006
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 11,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big one tonight as we have the No Way Out rematch between Undertaker and Kurt Angle for the Smackdown World Title. That alone should be enough to carry this show as it feels like one of those main events where they are going to give it some extra attention. Certainly works for me. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a video about Angle vs. Undertaker. If you insist.

Opening sequence.

Booker T. vs. Tatanka

What a clash of generations. Sharmell is on commentary. Tatanka works on the arm to start and Booker bails to the rope as Sharmell is already done listening to Cole. Booker loses a chop off so he goes to the eye and elbows him in the face. The hooking kick to the head misses though and Tatanka chops away even more. There’s a suplex but Booker pops up and strikes away in the corner.

A hot shot puts Tatanka down again and it’s a superkick for two. The chinlock goes on and naturally fuels the comeback, allowing Tatanka to chop him down again. Tatanka’s belly to back suplex sets up the top rope chop but Booker kicks him out of the air. The ax kick gives Booker….nothing as here’s the Boogeyman behind Sharmell. That’s enough for Tatanka to grab a rollup for the big upset.

Rating: D+. So to recap, you have all of the people available to WWE (from developmental alone) and you pick Tatanka? He isn’t the worst in the world or anything, but who looks back at Tatanka and thinks that’s the big idea? The match was nothing but a way to set up the angle at the end, as we continue towards Booker vs. Boogeyman because reasons.

Post match Boogeyman, with the worms, chases Booker off.

We recap Rey Mysterio being all depressed over losing his Wrestlemania title shot. Don’t worry though because Teddy Long made a tag match between Rey Mysterio and feeling happy by making a triple threat match at Wrestlemania.

Randy Orton vs. Super Crazy

Orton now has This Fire Burns by Killswitch Engage for theme music. Crazy gets stomped down in the corner to start and we’re in the chinlock in a hurry. Some forearms to the chest give Orton two and the chinlock goes on again. Crazy crawls over to the ropes and gets his feet to safety but Orton pulls him back for more chinlocking anyway.

Back up and Crazy throws him over for the break and hits a triangle dropkick to put Orton outside. The dive off the top hits Orton and they head back inside for two. A tornado DDT sends Orton throat first across the top but the moonsault only hits mat. Orton tries to go up but gets kicked in the head, only to shove Crazy back down. The RKO is good for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that can almost always work: take a talented guy who doesn’t get to do much against bigger names and let him have a five minute match. Orton was never in danger but they got to do a little something out there and it isn’t like Crazy loses anything in defeat. Do more stuff like this and save some of the bigger matches for important spots.

Video on Chris Benoit. I’m surprised that made the Network.

We look back at JBL’s hand being crushed last week, forcing him to undergo hand surgery this week.

At Wrestlemania: Benoit vs. JBL for the US Title.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/Animal

Non-title. Matt rolls Mercury up for two to start and is quickly forearmed in the face for his efforts. Mercury misses a dropkick and gets rolled up for two, meaning it’s off to Animal for a hard whip into the corner. They head outside with Mercury being sent into the apron, allowing Melina to dive off the apron for a distraction. This one actually works as Nitro scores with a superkick to take over. Back in and a double legdrop gets two on Animal. The referees try to break things up so Melina adds a headscissor choke over the rope, with the fans not exactly complaining.

Animal fights up without much trouble and brings in Matt for the house cleaning. The middle rope elbow to the back of Mercury’s neck looks to set up the Twist of Fate but Matt has to go with a double DDT instead. Now the Twist of Fate gets two on Mercury with Nitro making the save. Everything breaks down and Animal goes up for the Doomsday Device, only to have Nitro chop block Hardy. Animal crashes, leaving Matt to take the Snapshot for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty formula based stuff but I don’t really need to see Animal again. It worked with Hawk but that isn’t going to happen again. The act was pretty tired in 1999 and we are a long way off from that. MNM needs a good team to face and I don’t know if I can imagine that happening anytime soon.

Post match Animal snaps on Hardy and rams Hardy’s injured knee in the post.

Big Time Wrestlemania Moment: Undertaker b. Sid at Wrestlemania XIII. You have that whole show and you pick that match? In a year where Bret Hart is going into the Hall of Fame?

Gene Okerlund Hall of Fame video.

Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay

Fallout from last week’s tag match. Lashley powers him up against the ropes to start and hits an atomic drop. Finlay gets run over with straight power but comes back with a clothesline and a knee to the back of the head. A suplex gives Lashley two and they head outside where Finlay throws in a bunch of chairs. The chair duel is good for the quick DQ.

Post match the brawl stays on with referees having to come down and break it up. This worked pretty well and I could go for another one.

We see Kristal attempting to disrobe last week when Jillian Hall interrupted. Clothes were removed and they fight next week. Can they please not?

William Regal comes up to Paul Burchill again and says Paul is embarrassing him again. Just come be a tag team again. Burchill says no because he has his first match next week and can’t wait to dress like this. Regal: “ARE YOU BLOODY MAD???”

Video on Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is defending in a rematch from No Way Out. Angle slugs away in the corner to start and has to dodge Undertaker’s big shots. Undertaker gets taken down into a Fujiwara armbar but reverses into one of his own. A flying armbar has Angle in more trouble and Undertaker cranks on the arm in the corner. Old School is broken up though and Angle stomps him down some more. That just earns him another armbar but Angle breaks up Old School again.

The ten right hands in the corner are countered into a Last Ride but Undertaker has to drop him onto the ropes instead. A boot puts Angle on the floor and we take a break. Back with Angle sending him face first into the steps but Undertaker pops back up with a heck of a clothesline. Undertaker hits the apron legdrop to the back of the bad neck as he has another target.

Back in and Undertaker bends the neck around the rope but Angle snaps off a belly to belly for a delayed two. Now it’s Angle pounding him down for two and we hit the bodyscissors. That’s broken up as well but Undertaker’s running big boot misses in the corner. For some reason Undertaker goes up top, earning himself a top rope superplex for two.

We take another break and come back again with Angle holding a chinlock with a knee in the back. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor and Angle whips him knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker wins a slugout but misses another big boot. The release German suplex sends Undertaker flying but NOW the big boot connects for two. The chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock until Undertaker kicks him off. Neither can hit a Tombstone so Angle grabs the Angle Slam for two more.

Another ankle lock is countered into the chokeslam but the cover takes too long, allowing Angle to pull him into the ankle lock. That’s countered into the triangle choke, which is good for two arm drops. Angle grabs the rope for the break and counters a legdrop into the ankle lock. This time Undertaker reverses and hits a DDT for two but it’s Angle up first. The moonsault misses and there’s the sit up. Undertaker hits the Tombstone but here’s Mark Henry for the DQ.

Rating: A-. Yeah that worked and I don’t know why you would have expected anything else. This was a pair of great wrestlers going back and forth while trying to have a classic and they pretty much did. I’m not wild on the ending but we have already seen a clean finish between the two so it isn’t that big of a problem. There was no way this wasn’t going to work and it worked very well, as you had to expect.

Post match Henry beats Undertaker up even more, setting up a splash through the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was like the In Your House of Smackdowns as the main event carried the show as far as it needed to go but the rest left you wondering why this was taking place. There are a lot of people who pretty clearly are just going through the motions with little to nothing to do for Wrestlemania and that can make for some rough time. Then you have Undertaker vs. Angle for about half an hour though and those problems don’t mean as much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – February 24, 2006: Rewind

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 24, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re finally done with No Way Out, which wound up being a heck of a show. Now that we’re past the last stop, Wrestlemania is the last stop and that means things should start picking up in a hurry. The big stories are Kurt Angle surviving against Undertaker and Rey Mysterio losing his World Title shot to Randy Orton. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

Here’s Randy Orton to open things up. With the big smile, Orton says that he isn’t the kind of guy to say he told you so, but he told you so. He’s competing for the World Title at Wrestlemania and Rey Mysterio is not. It’s time to claim his destiny and that means beating Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania.

Orton’s grandfather was the greatest wrestler of his generation, his father was the greatest wrestler of his generation and he is going to prove that he is the greatest wrestler of his generation. That puts him ahead of Undertaker, Kurt Angle and even Eddie Guerrero. Cue Chavo Guerrero to beat Orton down, including Three Amigos and a frog splash. Security carries a screaming Chavo out.

Tag Team Titles: Matt Hardy/Tatanka vs. MNM

MNM is defending, because Matt Hardy and Tatanka aren’t going to be Tag Team Champions on any show that matters. Matt and Mercury start things off with Matt getting two off a running forearm. Nitro comes in and Matt beats up both champs without much effort. It’s off to Tatanka to crotch Nitro on top and a right hand puts Mercury down on the floor. Melina offers a distraction though and Tatanka gets low bridged outside. Back in and Tatanka can’t fight out of the corner and it’s a double back elbow for two.

Tatanka fails at fighting out of the corner again but Mercury’s distraction means the referee misses a small package on Nitro. A double clothesline gets Tatanka out of trouble and there’s the hot tag to Hardy. House is cleaned in a hurry as Melina isn’t handling this well. Nitro gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Mercury grabs a northern lights suplex for two. Tatanka breaks up the Snapshot as everything breaks down. Melina grabs Hardy’s leg to block the Twist of Fate and Nitro rolls up Hardy with tights for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. It was a pretty standard formula tag match but come on with Hardy and Tatanka being believable challengers. That would have been a stretch at a small house show and we’re supposed to believe it on a TV show on the way to Wrestlemania? I like MNM but man alive are they alone out there as far as good tag teams go.

An annoyed William Regal comes in to see Paul Burchill and has a letter. A fan in England begs Regal to stop Burchill from embarrassing the country like this….so Burchill hands him a BOMB (as in the black ball with a long wick kind) and lights it on fire. Burchill is nice enough to cut it off, though Regal’s panicking is funny as always.

Eddie Guerrero Hall of Fame video.

Dicks vs. Boogeyman

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary and aren’t happy when this is turned from a tag match into a handicap match. Booker: “WHO SIGNED THIS GUY???” The forearms to the back don’t work and the ones to the face don’t do much better. James is sent to the floor and then onto the announcers’ table, leaving Chad to get chokebombed for the fast pin.

Post match, Chad gets wormed and Boogeyman goes after Booker and Sharmell. The two of them run so Boogeyman covers the announcers’ table with worms as well.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Big Time Moment: Jeff Hardy’s huge Swanton through the table to Bubba Ray Dudley in 2000.

Cole and Tazz are freaked out over the worms.

Here’s Rey Mysterio to address his loss at No Way Out. Rey wastes no time in talking about Eddie Guerrero, who was smiling down on him at the Royal Rumble. But then Randy Orton got in his head and Rey lost, which let everyone down. Rey is sorry to everyone from his family to the Guerreros to everyone here to Eddie himself. Before he can leave, cue Teddy Long to say everyone feels their pain.

We see a clip of Orton grabbing the rope to pin Mysterio. Now the referee’s decision is final and Orton is going to Wrestlemania, but Long can add to the match. Mysterio is back in as it is now a triple threat. There was no way they were letting that stand after all of the Guerrero hype and that’s fine, assuming you can handle all of the Guerrero worship.

Here’s Kristal to promote the annual Divas magazine. Before she can disrobe for a preview, here’s Jillian Hall to interrupt. These fans want to see JBL in the main event but Kristal rips off Jillian’s jacket instead, sending her running to the back. Kristal takes off her robe.

We look at Batista’s surprise appearance at No Way Out.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Psicosis

Psicosis is challenging and takes him down with ease to start. Some right hands in the corner have Psicosis in trouble but he comes out with an anklescissors. Helms sends him hard out to the floor though and Psicosis may have hurt his back. Before he can get back in, Helms catches him on the apron with forearms to the chest and we hit the chinlock. Psicosis fights up with a hurricanrana but Helms clotheslines him back down.

The chinlock with a knee in the back has Psicosis in more trouble but he gets to his feet again. A spinwheel kick gets two so Helms grabs the TKO onto the knee. Psicosis gets in a shot to the face and heads up top but gets crotches down. Helms grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. This was another lifeless cruiserweight match, which tends to be the case for them every single time. There isn’t anything that you need to see in these matches and while Helms makes sense in the role, it is a little hard to care about another guy in trunks when he used to be something as charismatic as Hurricane.

Highlights of Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker on Sunday.

Teddy Long comes out to announce Angle vs. Undertaker II for next week.

Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley/Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay/John Bradshaw Layfield/Randy Orton

Before the match, Orton complains to Long about the triple threat match. Long’s advice: get to stepping. Orton hammers Mysterio down to start but has to bail from the threat of a 619. Finlay comes in and gets to face Lashley so they forearm it out. Lashley nails a spear on Finlay and everything breaks down. Back from a break with Benoit Sharpshootering JBL, who is right next to the rope.

Lashley’s overhead belly to belly sends JBL flying and the spear connects again. Finlay makes a save and Orton comes back in, meaning Rey is right in there as well. Orton gets Rey into the corner though and it’s Finlay grabbing the chinlock. JBL follows it up with a kick to the face but Rey snaps off a headscissors. That doesn’t work for Finlay, who ties Rey in the ring skirt and hammers away some more. JBL slaps on a bearhug to stay on the back and then cuts him off with a hard shoulder for two.

Finlay comes in without a tag and gets sent out, so JBL tags in Orton instead. Naturally that means another chinlock but Rey headscissors him shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house and it’s a series of release German suplexes. The Clothesline From JBL is countered into a Crossface attempt with Finlay making the save. JBL is sent outside and his hand is crushed between the steps and post. Rey throws JBL back inside for a 619 and a springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Pretty basic main event tag here and that’s not the best thing to see a lot of the time. They didn’t exactly do anything out of the ordinary and then Rey won because we need to bring up Eddie again. It wasn’t a bad match by any stretch, but it also isn’t something that did very much other than give Rey a win back, which he didn’t need as much after being put back in the Wrestlemania title match.

Rey gets a far too big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well that wasn’t great. This show was basically hitting the rewind button on Orton’s victory over Mysterio, as Rey is right back where he was before No Way Out. So yes, we will be hearing more about Eddie every chance they can find to squeeze it in. The wrestling wasn’t nothing memorable and other than announcing Undertaker vs. Angle II and Rey being put back in the title match, this was a completely skippable show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 20, 2006: The Built In Perk

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 20, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Florence, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Things changed in a big way last week and now we get to start moving towards the new norm around here. That includes Kurt Angle as the Smackdown World Champion and seemingly gearing up to feud with Mark Henry, probably at the Royal Rumble. Speaking of the Rumble, the show is in ten days and it could use some build. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Angle winning the title in a battle royal, last eliminating Henry.

Opening sequence.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

JBL has Jillian Hall with him, now with a bandage on her face after Boogeyman bit off her growth. An exchange of shoulders hurts JBL’s arm but his right hand is good enough to hammer Lashley down in the corner. A thumb to the eye cuts Lashley off but he’s right back with a belly to bell. The charge misses in the corner and JBL runs him over….so here’s Boogeyman from underneath the ring. The distraction lets Lashley hit the Dominator for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and was just a backdrop for the Boogeyman interference. The good thing about JBL is it’s not like a loss hurts him so just have him go out there and take a beating, which isn’t going to cause him any real damage. Lashley gets a win and we move forward towards JBL vs. Boogeyman. I’m not sure why, but it’s at least something and JBL can play scared with the best of them.

Post match, JBL bails from the threat of the worms.

Rey Mysterio congratulates Angle on winning the title and promises to become #1 contender. Angle likes the idea of the challenge and walks on to accept more congratulations. He runs into Henry though, who promises to beat Rey and take the title from Angle at the Royal Rumble. Angle wishes him luck and says stay out of his face. The YOU SUCK chants are about his opponents, so don’t be his opponent, because you’ll SUCK.

Post break a scared Jillian is in Teddy Long’s office when JBL storms in. Long doesn’t want to hear the yelling and makes JBL vs. Boogeyman at the Rumble.

Here are Sharmell and Booker T. for the big US Title celebration, including the balloon drop. Booker thanks everyone for believing in him and Sharmell calls Chris Benoit a loser. After a congratulatory kiss, Booker says this is how a real winner celebrates. Cue Orlando Jordan to say Booker disrespected him when Jordan offered to help him in the series. Jordan wants a match right now and punches Booker down for saying no. Cue Teddy to make Jordan vs. Randy Orton for later tonight. So there you go Orlando Jordan enthusiasts. We get to suffer while you enjoy yourselves.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Rating: C. This was a physical match and that’s the kind of thing that Finlay is known for. Wanting to brawl and beat on Hardy for the DQ was a logical way for him to debut, as a lot of fans aren’t going to be familiar with him after so many years away from mainstream wrestling. Not so much a good match, but an effective debut.

Post match, Finlay can’t believe that was a DQ and stomps Hardy’s head on the steps.

We look back at Daivari costing Angle a match against Shawn Michaels on Raw. Angle fired Daivari as a result.

Daivari is in Teddy’s office to rant about Angle firing him. He wants Teddy to fix it, so Long makes Daivari vs. Angle for tonight.

Batista had triceps surgery for the second time.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets the title shot at Angle at the Rumble. Melina is here with Henry. Mysterio starts sticking and moving to start but gets knocked down in a hurry. The pace picks up a bit and Rey sends him outside for a dropkick through the ropes. A quick dive knocks Henry up against the barricade and we take a break. Back with Henry running him over and shoving Mysterio down by the head.

Henry steps on his chest but misses a splash. Mysterio can’t do much with the delay though as he gets knocked outside, with Henry throwing him back inside with no trouble. Back in and Henry misses a charge in the corner so Rey kicks at the leg, slips out of a gorilla press, and kicks at the leg again. Some 619s to the back and ribs set up the regular version and Rey hits a heck of a frog splash. Henry rolls through like it’s nothing though and plants him with the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. Pure formula stuff here and that’s the right way to go. Show that Henry can absorb the offense and then pop up for the win. Beating Mysterio so decisively sets up Henry for the World Title shot that he was all but guaranteed to get. Not a great match, but it did things rather well.

Mr. Kennedy comes out with some of his new shirts but if you want them, go buy them.

Gymini vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Simon Dean is here with the Gymini and Kennedy is on commentary. Cole and Tazz throw on the Kennedy shirts, with Kennedy complimenting Cole’s head. London and Kendrick hit the ring in a hurry and clothesline Dean to the floor at the bell. London starts fast with a missile dropkick but a Dean distraction lets the monsters run him over. A double shoulder takes him down again as Dean starts blowing the whistle. Some missed elbows allow the hot tag to Kendrick to clean house as everything breaks down. Kendrick gets spinebustered onto London though and a double Regal Cutter finishes Kendrick in a hurry.

Rob Van Dam is back at the Royal Rumble.

Orlando Jordan vs. Randy Orton

Orton takes him over with a headlock to start and the trash talk is on. Some armdrags send Orton outside though and it’s time for a breather. Back in and another armdrag lets Jordan clothesline him to the floor but Orton avoids the slingshot dive. We come back from a break with Orton grabbing a chinlock with a bodyscissors, followed by the dropkick for two. Jordan couldn’t get his foot to the rope, so the referee says it was under the rope for the break anyway.

Jordan’s comeback is cut off in a hurry and we hit the chinlock again. The comeback works this time as Jordan starts in on the arm, including a standing armbar. That’s reversed into the backbreaker for two and Jordan’s dropkick gets the same. A swinging neckbreaker drops Orton but here is Sharmell for a distraction so Booker can come down for a crutch shot to Jordan. The RKO is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. For the love of all things good and made of poultry can we PLEASE cut it out with Jordan already? He has never been interesting, he has never been anything resembling good and he has never been anything more than a name on the roster. Let him go to Velocity and stay there already because he is as much of a groan inducing name as there is these days.

Post match Chris Benoit runs in for the save and rips up Booker’s shirt.

Video on Mark Henry.

We run down the Rumble card.

Raw Rebound.

Daivari is scared about the main event and know it’s going to be screwed up.

Kurt Angle vs. Daivari

Non-title and here are Mark Henry and Melina to watch. Angle snaps off the belly to belly suplex to send Daivari outside, where Daivari is terrified of Henry. Back in and Daivari’s low blow doesn’t do much damage so Angle throws him at Henry. With Henry holding Daivari in the air, Angle hammers on Daivari’s back before throwing him back inside. The Angle Slam sets up the ankle lock but Melina comes in for the DQ.

Post match Angle puts Melina in the ankle lock but Henry comes in for the World’s Strongest Slam. Henry crushes Angle with the steps for a bonus. With Angle down on the floor, Daivari announces himself as Henry’s new manager to end the show. Was Daivari that great of a manager that we need to have him added like this?

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more logical than anything else and that’s fine. It might not have been exactly thrilling, but it did a good job of setting up the non-Rumble matches. The perk about the Rumble is that it doesn’t need much of a build in the first place so hopefully we get a little push next week, but it’s not like the match really needs it. Angle vs. Henry actually sounds decent though, which I never would have guessed on coming in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – January 13, 2006: The Philadelphia Two Step

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,892
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night around here as we are finally done with the Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Booker T. series for the US Title. It’s kind of interesting that so many fans (myself included) seem to remember more Benoit vs. Orton matches than there really were. I’m not sure what else to expect here but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Batista and Teddy Long to open things up. Commentary talks about Batista suffering some injuries over the weekend and this doesn’t sound good. With a heavy sigh, Batista talks about being injured in a match against Mark Henry over the weekend, meaning he’s going to need surgery and be out for a long time.

A long time ago, a friend of his named Paul told him to enjoy the ride with the title and that is what he has done. He has enjoyed following in the footsteps of men like Ric Flair, Harley Race and Dusty Rhodes. Due to the injury though, he is forced to relinquish the World Title. Batista hands the title to Long, but says he’s coming back for it. It’s sad to see the title reign end like this but there was nothing else they could have done. Granted the fact that he hadn’t defended the title on TV since No Mercy in October, they might have been running out of things for Batista to do anyway.

During the break, various people wished Batista luck, including Ricky Steamboat and Arn Anderson. Rey Mysterio had the big emotional moment.

Back in the ring, Long says that we’ll be crowning a new World Champion tonight in a battle royal.

We recap the Best of Seven series for the US Title.

Randy Orton wants in the battle royal but Long says no because Orton is only wrestling once tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

For the vacant title, and Booker T. (here at ringside with Sharmell) is champion if Orton wins. They fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get anywhere in the corner. Benoit takes him down by the arm into a keylock with a bodyscissors but Orton gets up and drives him into the corner. Orton’s throat is snapped across the top with Benoit dropping to the floor….and grabbing his knee while pointing at Booker. That’s enough for an ejection and we take a break.

Back with Orton fighting out of a bearhug of all things and working on Benoit’s arm. Orton actually takes him down for a headlock but has to fight out of a Crossface attempt. Benoit chops away but gets sent shoulder first into the post, allowing the headlock takeover to work a bit better this time around. Another Crossface attempt is blocked so Benoit goes with an armbar instead. That’s enough to send Orton bailing to the floor again, only to have Benoit suplex him right back in.

The armbar goes on again but Orton slips out and heads up top. That earns him a bunch of headbutts for a crash down into the barricade so we can take another break. Back again with Orton dropping some knees but Benoit chops from the mat to get him away. The chinlock (of course) goes on but Benoit is out in a hurry. A dropkick takes him down again and we’re right back to the chinlock.

Benoit fights up in a hurry and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex. The chops in the corner set up the Sharpshooter but Orton is straight over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes set up the missed Swan Dive though and they’re both down again. Benoit is up first and tries the Sharpshooter, with the kickoff bumping the referee.

Cue Orlando Jordan….who is knocked down with a single shot because Jordan is really bad at his job. The Crossface goes on again so here are Booker and Sharmell as the referee is still down. Benoit decks Booker and grabs the Crossface again for the unseen tap. Booker gets in and hits Benoit with the title for the save and Orton gets the pin to make Booker champion.

Rating: B. The screwy finish is a bit annoying but at least the series is finally over. They have been needing to move on to something else for a good while now and it’s nice to see the thing finish. There are a few ways to go after that screwy finish, but that probably means Booker vs. Benoit again because we haven’t seen it enough so far. Good match though, as these two always have chemistry together.

Roddy Piper runs into JBL and Jillian Hall in the back, with JBL saying he should be on Piper’s Pit tonight instead of the Boogeyman. JBL makes the mistake of mentioning that Piper never won the World Title…and gets the spot on the show. Piper on Jillian: “Put her on a leash if you can.”

Eddie Guerrero’s family was given an award in his memory.

Here’s Piper for Piper’s Pit. Piper talks about the show debuting right here in Philadelphia 22 years ago but here are JBL and Jillian to interrupt his entrance. JBL talks about fighting through injuries and keeps cutting Piper off. He promises to win the title back tonight and the party will be on in New York. Piper finally gets to talk and asks about the growth on Jillian’s face, which has more hair on it than George Steele.

JBL interrupts and is told to shut up. Piper: “JBL, you’re as stupid as she looks.” Cue the Boogeyman, with JBL throwing Jillian at him. Boogeyman licks the growth on Jillian’s face and then bites it off in the best thing that could have happened to Jillian’s career. Boogeyman goes over to Piper, who immediately starts praying. That’s enough for Boogeyman, as Piper isn’t sure what he just saw.

Melina is ready for Mark Henry or MNM to be World Champion.

Finlay is coming next week.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

William Regal, Paul Burchill, Mark Henry, Animal, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Matt Hardy, Bobby Lashley, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Psicosis, Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Simon Dean, Sylvan, Orlando Jordan, Nunzio, Vito, ???

There’s a bonus competitor and it’s…..KURT ANGLE, who jumps over from Raw (with Daivari). JBL says he’s got this and is quickly German suplexed, followed by a clothesline for the fast elimination. Vito is out as well and it’s Animal slugging it out with Henry. MNM takes Animal out though and we take a break. Back with Dean having been eliminated and MNM tossing Nunzio.

Angle throws out Jordan, Regal and Burchill in a row, followed by Henry throwing Angle through the ropes. Lashley gets rid of London as Henry follows Angle to the floor and loads up the announcers’ table. Henry gorilla presses Angle through the table and heads back inside for the showdown with Lashley. The shoulder doesn’t work but Lashley does block a suplex. That’s it for his success though as Henry dumps him out, followed by getting rid of Kendrick for a bonus.

Back from another break with MNM, Henry, Hardy, Mysterio, Sylvan and Angle (on the floor) still in. Hardy gets rid of Sylvan but Henry gets rid of him, followed by Mysterio getting rid of MNM back to back. Mysterio realizes that leaves him alone with Henry and there are the EDDIE chants. Rey hits some dropkicks to the knee and a pair of 619s before making the eternal mistake of jumping on Henry’s back. Henry puts him on the apron and catches the springboard for the easy elimination.

Angle is back up though and we’re down to two. The straps come down and Angle is in….where Henry runs him over. Angle snaps off the Angle Slam but Henry hits the running splash in the corner. Henry puts him on top but Angle grabs a headscissors choke, only to get powerbombed right back down. A German suplex gives Angle a breather and he tries to guillotine Henry over the top ala Benoit in the 2004 Royal Rumble. With that not working, Angle goes back to the headscissors and pulls Henry over to win the title.

Rating: C+. This was a situation where WWE didn’t have many options so they went with one of their best choices. Angle is as safe of a pick as you have for World Champion on such a short notice. You can put him into any spot on the card and it’s not like it’s some kind of a stretch to make him the new champ. They can figure out where they want to go from here and Angle is a great bridge to get there. The match was fine with Henry being the only real threat to Angle, and the ending should set up a Royal Rumble title match. They did what they could with their limited options and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the “we don’t have a pay per view” edition of Smackdown and that’s perfectly fine. It’s a show that is going to work every time because it feels important. I’m curious to know what the original plan was for the main event, but a 20+ minute US Title match was more than a big enough deal. Good show here, and Angle coming in as the surprise champion was a cool moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – December 2, 2005: The Hurry Up Game

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: December 2, 2005
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to start wrapping up the year as we’re on the road to Armageddon and we’re coming off both Survivor Series and the Smackdown Special. The Special helped as it can serve as a launchpad towards the pay per view, since Raw vs. Smackdown was mostly wrapped up on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the special if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton blowing Undertaker up at the Special.

Here are Randy and Bob Orton to brag about what Randy did to Undertaker. Randy makes it clear that he killed the Undertaker, leaving himself as the only true phenom. He deserves something for what he has accomplished: the World Heavyweight Championship. The fans don’t seem to agree so Randy lists his resume and says he doesn’t care what they think. He calls Batista out for the Armageddon title match and promises to win the title. That’s not arrogance, because it’s destiny.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Animal/Heidenreich, Funaki/Scotty 2 Hotty, the Dicks, Paul London/Brian Kendrick, Nunzio/Vito, Mexicools

Only one member has to be eliminated and the winners get a Tag Team Title shot at the pay per view. MNM comes out to watch and Cole is rather pleased with Melina doing the splits on the announcers’ table. Heidenreich glares down at the champs to start and doesn’t realize that Animal is getting attacked by everyone else. That is broken up in a hurry and Nunzio is out.

Animal accidentally eliminates Heidenreich as well though….and there go the lights as we take a break. Back with everything fine and Scotty having been eliminated during the commercial. The Dicks eliminate London, leaving us with the Dicks and the Mexicools. The Mexicools get the crowd behind them in a hurry but it’s a double fireman’s carry faceplant to drop Super Crazy but Psicosis eliminates both of them at once for the win.

JBL says nothing would have happened if he had been with Rey Mysterio on Tuesday. Tonight, they’ll take care of Kane and Big Show.

Chris Benoit vs. William Regal

Booker T. and Sharmell are on commentary, which hopefully doesn’t bring the match down. Benoit goes after the arm to start and blocks Regal’s escape attempt. The threat of a Sharpshooter earns Benoit some shots to the face and Regal knocks him outside. A ram into the barricade lets Regal slap on a dragon sleeper back inside, followed by putting Benoit’s head against the post.

Regal kicks said head into said post and Benoit is barely getting up. Benoit shrugs off some shots to the head and sweeps the leg but Regal kicks away a Sharpshooter attempt. Some exploder suplexes and a forearm give Regal two but a bloody Benoit snaps off some German suplexes. The Crossface makes Regal tap in a hurry.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of hard hitting and almost brutal match that you don’t get to see very often on a weekly TV show. These two know how to work this kind of match to near perfection and while they didn’t have time to get that far, what we got was rather enjoyable. Regal might have been busted open as well, just for that little extra touch.

Immediately after the match, Benoit dives onto Booker and makes him tap on the floor with the Crossface.

The Ortons are in the back and a clock goes nuts. Uh oh.

Randy Orton vs. Matt Hardy

Orton shoulders him down to start but Hardy is right back with an armdrag into an armbar. A dropkick and elbow to the face give Orton two each and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and they head to the floor for a quick brawl, followed by Matt hitting the Side Effect for two. The moonsault misses though and the RKO gives Orton the fast pin.

Rating: C. And Matt continues to fall, which might have something to do with the whole mess at the end of Survivor Series. Couple that with Orton heading for another big match with Undertaker and this one wasn’t exactly in doubt. At least they had Hardy get in a bit of offense, but it’s pretty clear that he’s done at the moment.

Post match the gong sounds and Undertaker’s voice says this is the man Randy tried to kill. The Ortons try to leave but an explosion keeps them at ringside. Randy goes through the crowd but he runs into a casket as he tries to go through an exit. Back in and ring, the voice talks about how he does the killing so Randy bails through the crowd again. Another explosion scares him back to ringside again so the voice says Orton looks lost. Undertaker knows where he’s going: straight to h***…..in the Cell. So there’s your blowoff match.

Post break Randy panics to Teddy Long, who makes the mat at Armageddon. Teddy isn’t messing with Undertaker so he’s not changing the match.

New interview Kristal Marshall talks to Simon Dean, who isn’t scared of the debuting Boogeyman. Dean isn’t worried because he has the Simon System, featuring a new item. He pulls off a cover and it’s….the Boogeyman’s head, singing Oh My Darling Clementine. Plus eating worms of course.

Raw Rebound.

Simon Dean vs. Boogeyman

And there’s no Simon, so here’s security to drag him to the ring. The arena has a good bit of smoke in it after Boogeyman’s entrance and Dean begs off immediately. Boogeyman busts out the worms and throws them at Simon, setting up a reverse World’s Strongest Slam for the fast pin. Well he certainly debuted, and that’s about as good as it’s going to get here.

Video on the European tour.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sylvan

Sylvan says people are here to see him and jumps Lashley before the bell. This goes as well as you would expect as Lashley throws him around and hits the delayed vertical suplex. A few shots to the face put Lashley down and there’s a middle rope dropkick for one. Sylvan strikes away and drops some elbows to the back but Lashley pops up. More tossing ensues and it’s the Dominator to finish Sylvan.

Rating: D+. Who in the world decided to give Sylvan this much offense against Lashley? The match wasn’t quite the dominance you would have expected and that took me out of things a bit. The appeal of Lashley is to have him run people over and that’s not what we got here. He didn’t do well at Survivor Series and this didn’t make it any better, so maybe things are slowing down for him.

Big Show/Kane vs. Rey Mysterio/John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title and Rey is injured coming in. JBL goes after Kane to start and is quickly knocked straight into the corner for his efforts. The threat of an early Clothesline From JBL sends Kane outside so Big Show gets in a right hand. Rey hits the seated senton to Kane from the apron and it’s Big Show coming in. JBL takes out the knee and Rey adds a dropkick, setting up JBL’s top rope shoulder for a good looking knockdown.

Kane gets JBL in the corner though and now the beating is on. A running shoulder gets JBL a breather so Rey tags himself in, only to get knocked down in a hurry. The referee tries to break up a fight with JBL and Kane, meaning it’s a thumb to JBL’s eye. That’s enough for him so he walks out as we take a break.

Back with Show kicking Rey in the bad ribs as the BATISTA chants are going strong. Show stands on the ribs but Rey uses the speed to make Show knock Kane down by mistake. Rey goes after Show’s leg and kicks them both into the ropes, setting up back to back 619s. The springboard is just a bad idea though and Show pulls him out of the air for the chokeslam and the pin.

Rating: C-. JBL was actually showing some fire at the start here and that made things a little better. The lack of Batista was surprising but you can almost pencil him in for the post match save. Rey was trying here and while it did go a little far with how much he could do to Show and Kane, it didn’t go into the ridiculous areas and Show pinned him clean with the chokeslam. Not the best overall, but it could have been a lot worse.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista finally comes out for the save. Some chair shots leave the Raw guys knocked out to end the show. That sounds like a pay per view tag match to me.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show where the wrestling wasn’t what mattered most, but it did bring things down a good bit. There was some good stuff here with setting up Armageddon and that’s what matters most here. They don’t have much time to get ready for the pay per view so hitting the ground running was the best thing that they could do. Not a great wrestling show, but it set things in motion, as it needed to do.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6