Thunder – January 19, 2000: All Hands On Deck

Thunder
Date: January 19, 2000
Location: Roberts Memorial Stadium, Evansville, Indiana
Attendance: 2,726
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

The big story at the moment is how a huge chunk of the midcard and the World Champion are all gone due to Kevin Sullivan being part of the new booking committee. In addition to the talent leaving due to Sullivan, it also means that the show has gone from going 200 miles per hour to about 20 miles per year as the show has slowed way down and gotten a good deal more boring. Let’s get to it.

There’s a closed door meeting taking place.

The NWO arrives.

Tag Team Titles: David Flair/Crowbar vs. Mamalukes

The mafia guys are challenging and Disco sits in on commentary. Vito and David get things going with Young Naitch getting knocked into the corner with ease. I know Crowbar is crazy but how did he consent to letting Flair start? David comes back with some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, only to get nailed in the throat for his efforts. Crowbar dives over the top to take the Mamalukes down and gets two off a cross body.

That goes nowhere as Vito comes back with a delayed suplex, but only after he jogs around the ring while holding Crowbar in the air. Off to Johnny who eats a double clothesline but comes right back with a spinning kick to the head. Everything breaks down and Crowbar powerslams Vito down and drops a top rope splash for two with Johnny making a save. A Lionsault (minus the running start) gets the same as this is basically a handicap match. David gets the crowbar but the Mamalukes kick Crowbar into him (and the bar), setting up the spinning Impaler DDT from Vito for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. I like the result but not the method they used to get there. It’s very nice to see the titles go to a team that could actually work some decent matches, but the match that got them there was pretty much a mess. David just doesn’t have what it takes to be on this level and it was showing every time they were in the ring. At least the Mamalukes, as mediocre as they are, can work well enough.

Nash talks to the cops.

Page and Kimberly arrive.

The Mamalukes want Disco to take someone out.

Curt Hennig vs. Jim Duggan

Really? As I fathom the fact that these two are fighting in 2000, I took some time to see how many times these guys have fought. Believe it or not, they only have a few house show matches in the WWF and two Thunder matches. You would think these guys would have been a logical pairing at some point. Hennig answers something like an open challenge but doesn’t have on wrestling gear, so Duggan calls him a chicken.

Curt McFly charges to the ring and gets slammed down but he snaps Jim’s throat over the top rope. Some choking and a dropkick follow but Duggan just slugs away to come back. Ten punches in the corner are broken up by an eye poke but Hennig throws Duggan into the referee. You know I hadn’t realized how few ref bumps there had been since Russo was gone. Hennig brings in the 2×4 but Duggan hits the referee by mistake, sending Hennig running away as Duggan’s music plays. Huh?

It’s 3 Count time!!! They do a letterboxed performance and now they even have a super fan in the form of Karate Norman Smiley. Evan, so overwhelmed by the music, charges at him but Norman feels the power and clotheslines him down. All three members are taken out and Norman is so fired up that he issues an open challenge. Cue Tank Abbott because we need to see him every week. Norman fails at using Dave Penzer as a human shield and goes down in one punch. I’m so glad the fans got excited over Smiley until he got knocked cold by Abbott because we haven’t covered that yet.

Lash Leroux vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Psychosis

Sometime tonight we should be getting a statement on Oklahoma and the Cruiserweight Title. Chavo goes after Psychosis to start with some chops as Lash just chills by the ropes. Psychosis escapes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before joining Chavo for a double clothesline. That’s about it for the working together as Chavo sends Psychosis into the corner and slams him down, followed by a dropkick to put Lash on the floor. Psychosis and Chavo slug it out but Lash gets back up and dives onto both guys to finally do something in the match.

Back up and Psychosis nails Chavo by mistake, followed by a backbreaker from Leroux. Psychosis is sent outside with Lash following him for a whip into the barricade. This time it’s Chavo hitting the big dive to the floor and everyone is down. Back in again and Lash misses a dive, allowing Chavo to throw Psychosis to the floor. Whiplash is countered and Chavo nails the tornado DDT, only to have Psychosis comes back in with the guillotine legdrop to knock Chavo silly for the pin.

Rating: B-. Much like on Nitro, this was an old school fun cruiserweight match between three guys who should be fighting over the title instead of having Oklahoma hold it as a comedy bit. It’s cool to see Psychosis win as well as he’s an underrated talent, but the same could be said for Chavo. Either way, at least we got an entertaining match.

The Artist still won’t sing.

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Kidman

Kidman has his solo theme back instead of the Filthy Animals’ song. Prince shoves him into the corner to start but gets reversed and beaten up. Paisley earns her paycheck by tripping Kidman so Artist can slam him down and snap a wishbone. This brings out Torrie for her big return as Kidman starts his comeback, only to springboard into a powerslam.

Back up and Kidman gets two off a rollup, only to have his comeback punched down. Another slam sets up something off the top rope but Prince slips going up and almost falls down. I know it happens with everyone, but given that it’s Prince Iaukea I blame his lack of talent. Prince tries a springboard but Torrie pulls him down, allowing Kidman to hit the BK Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. Pull the plug on Iaukea already. He doesn’t have it and this new character isn’t masking the fact that he isn’t that good. Yeah he can do basic stuff well enough but anything more than simple offense is a chore for him. You have an army of talented cruiserweights on your roster and this is the best you can do? Kidman was his usual self here so there isn’t much to say about him.

Terry Taylor is escorted to the ring. I wonder if he got an extension can can still have tailor made suits now that it’s 2000.

Here’s Taylor as the executive representative (at least it’s someone who knows how to talk) to address the World Title situation. This coming Monday (because it has to be Monday and not at your next pay per view), there will be a match to determine the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion. Commissioner Kevin Nash is going to get to pick one participant and the executive committee gets to pick the other. The committee’s pick: Sid Vicious.

This brings out Nash to rip on Taylor a bit and says he’s been reading the commissioner’s handbook, which says he gets to make the matches. The fans chant for Goldberg and again Nash threatens to fire him. As lame as his matches are, at least Nash knows how to antagonize a crowd. This Monday, Sid can have his title shot…..if he beats Jeff Jarrett. As for Nash’s pick, of course it’s himself. It wasn’t specified but I’m assuming Jeff doesn’t get the title shot if he beats Sid.

I’ll give them points for adding in a crowd favorite in Sid and Nash makes sense as the villain, but they couldn’t throw in a curveball here? You have a chance to make a brand new star to distract the fans from the fact that you just lost four young guys and you go with the safe route of Sid? I get the thinking behind it, but this would be a prime chance to pull the trigger on someone. They don’t even have to win the title, but give the fans something to get excited over. Like, at SuperBrawl, not the show five days away.

Nash makes tonight’s main event: Booker T./Big T. vs. Sid/Total Package. Ha that’s good. Now what’s the real main event?

Berlyn vs. The Wall

Time for the blowoff! Berlyn goes after him during the entrances but Wall, the giant monster, grabs a wristlock. Can we get someone to explain the idea of psychology to these people? Berlyn comes back with a nip up and dropkick and the fans already think this is boring. Wall throws him to the floor and drops an elbow to the back but posts himself, allowing Berlyn to dive off the top to take him down.

The second attempt (this time from the apron) doesn’t work as well and Wall throws him inside again. Get this match over with already. Back in and Berlyn tries to flip over Wall but doesn’t get all the way, making the match look even worse. Wall drapes him over the top rope and nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but the chokeslam is broken up by a rake of the eyes. Berlyn hits the ropes, eats a big boot and……gets pinned?

Rating: D. So they established these guys as a team in September and have the horrible blowoff on a show no one is going to watch in January? That’s the best thi…..yeah this actually is the best they can do at this point. Terrible match here as there’s no interest in either guy. They’ve managed to destroy so many members of the roster that there’s no reason to get interested in almost anyone.

This Week In WCW Motorsports. Yes this is still a thing.

Here’s Cruiserweight Champion Oklahoma as he continues to get to book himself into a spot for the sake of his own laughter. He brags about promising to bounce Madusa’s silicone censored back to the kitchen and that’s exactly what he did. After that win, Oklahoma has decided to vacate the title because there’s nothing left for him to accomplish. This brings out Madusa to call Oklahoma a coward before saying she wants to start a women’s division. Oklahoma starts his rebuttal but here’s Sherri Martel of all people to attack Madusa.

So wait. We’ll get to the match in a minute but I need a second here. Not only did Oklahoma set himself up to beat Madusa for the title, vacate it due to weighing 260lbs and cover her with barbecue sauce because making fun of Jim Ross is just oh so funny, but now Madusa is just being moved on to a new feud? In other words, the heel booker gets away with everything with his only comeuppance being the barbecue sauce after he won the title? Well of course it is.

Madusa vs. Sherri Martel

Miss Hancock comes out and sits on the announcers’ table for some fan service. Sherri chokes a lot, Madusa comes back with clotheslines, Sherri goes up and slips, Madusa suplexes her down for the pin. The match lasted a minute.

Nash tells the NWO girls to massage him.

Fit Finlay vs. Jerry Flynn

Not hardcore surprisingly enough. Jerry chops him down to start and pulls Finlay away from the ropes because Fit is trying to hide for some reason. Finlay comes back with an uppercut and let’s look at Buzzkill in the crowd because that’s still going on. Fit knocks him down a few times and drops a middle rope knee and they head outside with Finlay hitting an uppercut.

A chair to the throat puts Jerry in even more trouble but here’s Brian Knobbs with a kendo stick. Brian gets in some stick shots on Flynn but Jerry comes back with some kicks to Finlay. Knobbs goes to the apron with the stick but Finlay is sent into it instead, giving Flynn the fluke rollup pin.

Rating: F. It was slow, it was boring, it had Brian Knobbs and Jerry Flynn is getting a pin on television over someone like Fit Finlay. Flynn is similar to Tank Abbott: here’s there for one reason and for some reason the company insists on pushing him, albeit slowly, no matter how boring he continues to be. Another bad match tonight.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

The Triad fallout continues. Kanyon says he’s beaten Page over and over again now so there’s nothing left to prove. This brings out Kimberly, who is offered a spot in Kanyon’s entourage. Kimberly offers to think about it if the other girls leave. This brings Page through the crowd to get in some cheap shots to start things off. A suplex drops Kanyon and Page knocks him off the apron, setting up a Page dive to the floor.

Back in and Kanyon grabs a swinging neckbreaker (way too popular a move in WCW these days), followed by elbows and a chinlock. Page fights up and they head outside again with Kanyon hitting a quick Fameasser onto the steps. A high cross body from Kanyon is rolled through for two for Page. They slug it out with Page taking over, only to walk into a pumphandle slam for two. Cue J. Biggs with the briefcase but Page knocks him off the apron. Kanyon dives into a powerbomb, setting up the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but you could see Page having the whole thing mapped out. Kanyon continues to be entertaining in almost everything he does and should be doing something better than just fighting Page and Bigelow all the time. The same is true of Page. He could be fighting for the US Title (along with a few other people) but he’s just kind of here, going from match to match and never advancing.

Luger and Big T. talk backstage.

The NWO watches from their locker room.

Total Package/Sid Vicious vs. Booker T./Big T.

Oh this could be bad. Mr. T.’s offspring get in an argument to start and the fans chant for Ahmed. Eventually it’s Big T. vs. Sid to start and T. wants a test of strength. Sid asks the audience if they want to see it, complete with the hand to the ear, but Big backs down. It’s off to Booker as we’ve somehow eaten up two minutes of the match with no contact yet. Booker and Sid lock up, let go, and it’s off to Luger.

Amazingly enough it’s Luger with the first real contact of the match as he runs Booker over with a shoulder, only to have Booker knock him out to the floor. Nash is here to watch as Luger chokes Booker in the corner. We take a break and come back with Sid holding Booker in a chinlock. It’s off to Luger who eats the running forearm, only to have Big T. slapjack him from the apron. Now, down 2-1, Big T. comes in and gets chokeslammed, leaving Luger to Rack the unconscious Booker for the submission.

Rating: D-. So to clarify, not only is Big T. fat and out of shape, but he’s very stupid. Let’s just get to the stupid angle that’s coming with Harlem Heat so we can get Booker out of this and on to ANYTHING else because yet another Harlem Heat storyline can only go so far and we passed that about a month ago.

Overall Rating: D+. This is an interesting look at how the new regime is going to go. First and foremost, the matches are getting more time. Several of these had 4-5 minutes, which is enough time to get the point across. I’d still like to cut out a match or two and extend the matches they already have, but at least they’re letting the wrestlers tell a story and not have to fly through five plot points while trying to fit in some moves in between.

However, there’s another side to the new bosses. WCW is so desperate for a new star but they’re hanging on to the old guard as tight as they can. It should be all hands on deck to make someone into a star but instead we’re getting Sid and Luger in the main events with Booker T. doing the job to advance the Harlem Heat feud.

Since they announced the title match for Monday, I’ve been trying to figure out who they could have put in that spot instead of Sid and there really aren’t a lot of options. Assuming he’s healthy, there’s always Sting, but is that really where you want to go again, especially with Hogan out there somewhere? There’s Vampiro, but my goodness that would be a jump. Kidman is a US Title level guy at best. That really just leaves Booker T., who is last seen out cold and being put in the Torture Rack because Luger and Sid are a team for no apparent reason.

So we’re waiting to see if Sid is the guy that can carry the promotion? I’m assuming we’ll get Sting and Hogan back soon enough, meaning it really is going to become even more of a good old boys network around here. I know the idea is to find someone steady, but that should be done while also building for the future, which WCW has never managed to do. Everyone young has been ground down to nothing for the sake of pushing old acts for a quick score. Above all else, that might be the biggest thing that lead to their downfall. It’s really hard to care when the quality is going down and the champions get older every week.

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Monday Nitro – January 17, 2000: WCW Is Dead

Monday Nitro #223
Date: January 17, 2000
Location: Value City Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 10,646
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

I have to say this way too often around here, but everything has changed again. Benoit won the World Title last night and that’s the last you’re going to see of him in WCW. Unfortunately that’s also the case for Malenko, Guerrero and Saturn, who all quit when Kevin Sullivan was announced as the fired Vince Russo’s replacement. The Filthy tried to get out as well but didn’t have such an easy escape. Now we get to see how everything falls out so let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives and Nash leaves Jeff’s hand hanging in a funny bit.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

We immediately start with a match and Kidman gets an early advantage off a headscissors and stops a charge by raising a boot. A high cross body gets two but Psychosis low bridges him to the floor and hits a big dive over the top. Thankfully the whole landing on Kidman’s head part didn’t cripple him. Back in and a nice top rope spinwheel kick gets two as the announcers promise to address all the major changes after last night’s show.

They head outside again with Kidman being sent into the barricade but he’s still able to dropkick Psychosis out of the air back inside. Psychosis counters a superplex into a super sitout gordbuster for two, only to walk into a wheelbarrow suplex. That earns Kidman a DDT and the guillotine legdrop for a very close two. YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB KIDMAN though and the faceplant gets the pin. This would be four Kidman matches in two days without a Shooting Star.

Rating: B. Off the top of my head, the best match WCW has had since the main event of Mayhem back in November. You can immediately see the cruiserweights being brought back to a respectable place as they were allowed to just go out and have a good match instead of being used as target practice for the heavyweights. They’re already off to a good start.

Now we get the big fallout from last night in the form of a statement from Arn Anderson. Terry Funk got beaten up last night for doing what he believed in and that’s what a real man does. Anderson has always tried to do what he said and last night he promised to call the match down the middle. Then he started watching the match instead of refereeing and he didn’t notice Sid’s foot under the ropes when Benoit made him tap out. Therefore the title is vacant.

To recap our title holders, we have David Flair, Crowbar (both of whom lost last night), Brian Knobbs and Ed Ferrara.

The Harris Brothers are in suits again and now guarding the NWO’s locker room. I’m so glad we had them turn a few weeks ago just to turn back already.

Booker says he hasn’t forgotten where he came from and apparently he and Stevie knew Big T. back in the day. They decided he was all wrong for them and Booker didn’t know he was out of jail. That’s already more backstory than we get for most new characters.

Here’s the new Harlem Heat, with Stevie saying he and Big T. are willing to give Booker another chance. Booker and Midnight come out but Stevie wants Midnight to leave. Stevie mentions Booker borrowing his bike to go get candy as a kid but the brawl is on. The team takes Booker down and Stevie wants a referee in here right now.

Booker T. vs. Big T.

Both guys are in street clothes. A quick Pearl River Plunge drops Booker and a World’s Strongest Slam does the same. Booker comes back with a forearm and ax kick followed by the Book End but Stevie throws in a slap jack to knock Booker silly for the pin. This was nothing.

Vampiro vs. Disco Inferno

The Mamalukes are out with Disco and tell him there will be no dancing. During the entrances, Tony basically begs the fans to come to the Thunder taping tomorrow night. Vampiro nails a spinwheel kick to start and another spin kick to the chest. Disco’s monkey flip doesn’t get him anywhere and Vampiro plants him with a release Rock Bottom, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault.

The Mamalukes validate their paycheck by attacking Disco as this is actually a faster pace than you would expect. It’s like they’re actually being allowed to try for a change. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco but Vampiro avoids an elbow and hits another top rope spinwheel kick, followed by the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C. Nothing great here but like I said, they were trying for a change. It’s such a different atmosphere already with Russo gone for one show and you can see the quality and effort going up. Vampiro looked decent here and I can see why they wanted to push him, but they need to do something with him already.

Scott Steiner presents Nash with some women for secretary interviews, including the yet to be named Major Gunns, Shakira and Midajah. Steiner wants to play Twister.

Tag Team Titles: 3 Count vs. David Flair/Crowbar

We get a 3 Count performance before the match to really make this show feel better. Evan is the odd man out here. 3 Count dives onto the champs to start and here are Standards and Practices to scout the match. We settle down with David suplexing Moore and dropping him with a belly to back for two. Daffney hisses at Evan on the floor so David runs over for the save. Helms superkicks Crowbar down and Shannon adds a top rope spinning splash for two. David low bridges Shannon to the floor, allowing Crowbar to hit a reverse DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. I loved 3 Count and there’s nothing bad about looking at Stacy Keibler but this really didn’t work. At the end of the day, David Flair just isn’t ready for this spot. He’s trying, but it’s very similar to Erik Watts in the early 90s: he needed a lot more seasoning before being thrown into this spot.

We get an encore!

Nash asks the ladies to leave so they can have some NWO business. Bret is nowhere to be seen. They need to get rid of the Old Age Outlaws but Arn can stick around for some reason.

Maestro vs. Tank Abbott

No piano, 13 seconds, one right hand for the knockout. This was a shoot fight, because the Brawl For All didn’t teach WCW anything.

Norman Smiley comes out to stare down Abbott but Meng shows up to give Abbott someone a real challenge.

Most of the midcard is coming to the arena. Since this is WCW, it takes far longer than it should have. They couldn’t have had them come out during the break? Nash and the Harris Brothers come out for the first official address of the roster. Nash praises himself but says he has goals for everyone out there. Tenay needs a personality, Knobbs needs a brain, Abbott needs a heart and Smiley needs courage. Nash: “I sound like Oz up here.”

The fans cut him off with a Goldberg chant so Nash threatens to fire him. This brings Nash to his first real act: Jeff Jarrett is officially the US Champion again. Jeff: “HOLY SLAPNUTS!” Next up is health, which is why there will be mandatory rectal exams before every match with Dr. Jellyfinger. Also, everyone is going to be in the same locker room no matter what level they’re on and no one can look at Nash but they all must call him Lord Master.

Nash will decide what happens with the World Title at a later date. He’s rapid firing through these ideas. There will be no illegal substances in the locker room, including Viagra. Nash: “Sorry Lex!” He praises Bagwell and Page for their match last night. Nash: “Buff, you doing Kim or what?” As for the first main event tonight, it’s Bagwell vs. Page in a rematch from last night with Kimberly as guest referee. They’re the NWO, they’re in charge, and they are gods.

Kimberly comes in to see the NWO and is given her referee outfit and asks if Page or Bagwell was better.

Team 2000 vs. Varsity Club

Team 2000 is Masahiro Chono and Super J (From what I can find it’s Jeff Farmer, better known as NWO Sting). There’s actually a story here: Rotundo was part of NWO Japan but left to reform the Varsity Club. Yeah this match is actually getting a story over a Japanese faction that most people didn’t know existed.

It’s a brawl to start until Chono starts driving knees into Mike’s ribs to take over. Off to Steiner but Chono wants Rotundo back in, which the fans find boring. I can’t say I blame them as there’s no reason to care about this story. Steiner suplexes Chono down and easily takes J to the mat. Steiner whips him into the barricade and Rotundo has a lame slugout as this just keeps going.

Rotundo chinlocks J as Steiner and Chono brawl in the aisle. Back in and Rick gets double teamed for a bit but they’re quickly back on the floor to keep up the brawling. A big boot to the face out of the corner blasts Rick again but Chono dives into a belly to belly. Everything breaks down again and the referee misses a small package from Rotundo to Chono. J comes in and rolls it over to FINALLY give Chono the pin.

Rating: D. This is one of the first major cases of the show having to throw in ANYTHING else besides Benoit/Guerrero/Malenko/Saturn. There was no reason for this to be a nine minute match and the fans might have been on to something with the boring chant. It wasn’t the worst match in the world, but like I said, there’s no reason to care about these teams fighting. The match wasn’t good enough to overcome that problem and it dragged on and on as a result.

Sid Vicious vs. The Wall

Sid runs him over to start and Wall bails to the floor for a breather. Wall is thrown over the announcers’ table as this is full squash mode so far. That’s it for the play by play right now as we cut to Disco and the Mamalukes coming in to say they’ll get the NWO anything they need. Nash asks if they’ve ever heard of Vinnie Vegas. Their assignment: go beat up Sid. Then get some grinders. We cut back to the ring to see Sid chokeslamming Wall for the pin.

The Mamalukes come out but eat powerbombs.

Scott Steiner, in a Michigan jersey and flanked by Midajah and a girl in a Michigan cheerleader uniform, comes out and beats up the Ohio State (Michigan’s big rival) mascot. Steiner does his usual stuff about how all the women want him and tells them to take a number and wait in the back. Michigan beating Ohio State was easy, just like the women in Ohio. An Ohio State fan argues with him from ringside and gets beaten down. Security quickly takes the bloody fan away as we’re firmly in the Scott is nuts phase.

Total Package vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Luger is finally out of the Sting attire. Bigelow elbows him out to the floor and pounds in some big forearms to the back. Back in and Bigelow slugs away, eats the metal forearm, and continues slugging away. The top rope headbutt connects but Liz distracts Bigelow to break up the Greetings From Asbury Park. Cue Kanyon but Bigelow nails him, only to take a champagne bottle to the head from Luger for the pin.

Rating: D-. Is there a point coming to this Bigelow vs. Kanyon feud anytime soon? They’ve been feuding, with Bigelow consistently coming out on the losing end, for weeks now and there’s no real progression to the story. This was another match that didn’t do anything for anyone and was just there to fill in time.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell

Kimberly’s referee outfit is exactly what you would expect it to be. Page starts fast with a shoulder and spinning Rock Bottom but Kimberly takes her sweet time counting. Buff comes back with a clothesline and they fight to the floor then into the crowd. Time for the ECW phase of the show it seems. A trash can shot knocks Page back to the barricade and they head back inside.

Bagwell nails a hot shot onto the turnbuckle but he stops to hit on Kimberly. Page gets back up and crotches Bagwell against the post. The Diamond Cutter is blocked by grabbing a rope (and it actually works unlike last night) and both guys are down again. The double arm DDT from Buff (well maybe an arm and a quarter) gets another very slow two count.

Back up and they fight over a backslide before the Diamond Cutter connects but Page can’t cover. Instead Buff gets up and loads up the Blockbuster, only to get crotched down. Page’s superplex attempt is countered with a low blow and now the Blockbuster connects. Kimberly “accidentally” collides with Buff and knocks herself down, allowing Page to get up and hit the Diamond Cutter for a slow pin.

Rating: D+. This is another feud that is just meandering along with little development in sight. It’s no longer about whether Kimberly slept with Bagwell but rather if she’s going to leave her husband for him. That’s about all there is as far as advancement goes, but it’s not enough to validate the boring matches that come with the feud.

Kimberly bolts from the ring and Page follows to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Suddenly Russo is out of power and this feels like a wrestling program again. It’s certainly nothing great but we had storyline progression that you could follow, some watching wrestling getting time (three matches broke six minutes and with ten more seconds on the opener they all would have broken seven) and nothing horrible/insulting to my intelligence. In other words, it’s a middle of the road wrestling show.

That’s the key though: this show still isn’t really good. A lot of the wrestling was uninspired at best and the stories were only ok. Nash as the power mad yet entertaining boss has potential and the lack of the focus on the mostly retired crew helped a lot. Unfortunately, I have a feeling the bottom is going to fall out very soon because they’re going to have to find something to fill in the void left by all the people leaving, and it’s not NWO Japan.

This is where the problems are going to crop up and there isn’t much WCW can do about it. The Radicalz leaving at once was like taking the walls out from a building. No matter what was going on, you could count on those four guys to put on a decent wrestling match if you gave them the chance. Now that they’re gone, there isn’t much left to take their places.

What’s supposed to make up for those guys missing? Page and Bagwell having lame matches? More Varsity Club? Ahmed Johnson? Jeff Jarrett cutting the same promo with the same slap nuts line every single week? WCW has lost the meat of their company and there isn’t much they can throw in there to fill in the gaps. That brings me to the big point here: the Radicalz leaving was the point of no return for WCW.

Now here’s the thing: WCW was going to die no matter what. In the long run, there was too much money being burned and too much of a mess to possibly fix the place. Somewhere along the line it was going to go under and Vince would be left smiling. However, as long as you had those four guys (or at least a young core group of wrestlers who could one day take over), there was always a hope. It may have been just a glimmer, but it was there.

However, all that went away when they left. Those four leaving took the hope away from WCW fans. Any chance they had to see something fresh come in and take the company back from the Good Old Boys network at the top was gone and the hope was destroyed. Now there’s just the old guys hanging around at the top, collecting their paychecks and putting on the same pitiful matches that no one wants to see except for the diehard fans.

Benoit finally got to the top last night and it felt like yet another Dusty Finish. Yeah he got there, but never mind because we need to take the title away from him and just let it sit around until we find some other old guy to put it on so he can talk about having some big match but never be able to live up to those promises. The fans have no reason to believe it’s possible now and once that happens, the faint chance that WCW could turn it around was gone.

WCW was already a very wounded animal before those four left, but there was always the chance that they could tape themselves up, get on their feet and nail one big right hook to knock the WWF back and have one more chance in this fight. Instead, and no one knew how bad it was going to get in just a few weeks when they showed up on Nitro, WWF just cut off WCW’s arms and punched them with their own fists. WCW may appear to still be alive and trying to come back, but at this point, without the core talent that they built up being around anymore, there is no more hope. WCW is dead.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – December 9, 1999: Now With A-List Awful

Thunder
Date: December 9, 1999
Location: Dane County Coliseum, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,953
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Juventud Guerrera

I can’t believe I’m saying this but there’s a slight chance this could be an interesting episode. On Nitro, Russo promised A-List stars on this show. Now given how things work around here, you could have Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and the Rock in every segment and somehow WCW would manage to screw it up, but at least the stars would be more interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Outsiders with a ladder to get things going. Hall sets it up and pretends to fall off, which would be funnier if Hall wasn’t a constant threat to have a major accident every five minutes. He knows Benoit is just in this match for the raise and knows he can’t handle a regular match, so he’s asked for it to be a ladder match. Benoit should go rent a tape of the ladder match with Shawn to see what he’s getting into.

Nash wants to talk about all the people around here with chips on their shoulders, including Sid. If Sid wants to walk around like a big man, Nash has a powerbomb waiting on him. This brings out Sid to say that he’s the man. Nash: “Is Vader booked?” Sid charges the ring and goes after Nash, knocking the ladder over in the process. He loads up Nash for the powerbomb but Hall nails him in the back with the ladder. Dustin Rhodes runs out for the save, drawing out Jeff Jarrett and Benoit with the bad guys getting the better of it and setting up a likely six man main event.

Tenay talks about Rhonda Singh getting a Cruiserweight Title shot tonight but Madusa comes out to say Singh isn’t a cruiserweight. Singh is getting a title shot over Madusa’s dead body. “Does this body look dead to you?” Well it’s certainly in need of support.

Juventud Guerrera and Psychosis come out with Juvi’s Rock impression getting SILENCE. Apparently Juvy is joining Tenay in the booth for the night. Oh good grief this is going to be a long night.

Nitro recap.

Dean Malenko vs. Booker T.

Well that’s better tha most matches we get on this show so maybe things are looking up. Maybe I should stop having false hope. Before the match, Shane Douglas challenges Jim Duggan to find three friends for an eight man tag at Starrcade. If the Revolution loses, they’ll be WCW’s janitors for a month, but if Duggan loses, he renounces his American citizenship. Well sure, why not. Malenko calls Dave Penzer a typical American and Saturn quotes Stripes.

Booker (with Stevie) nails Dean with a forearm and the ax kick to start but Dean pokes him in the eye and sends him outside. Saturn and Stevie get into it on the floor as Booker goes back inside for a spinebuster. Booker loads up another ax kick but Shane nails him in the head with the cast, setting up the Cloverleaf on the unconscious Booker for the quick win.

Duggan comes out to make the save, exciting Juvy WAY too much. Yeah the Revolution is getting more screen time, but it’s leading to a Jim Duggan match. That’s the disconnect with Russo: he knows how to make the buildup work, but the end result is usually a disaster.

Sid, Benoit and Rhodes jump Creative Control and Shane outside Russo’s office. After a break, the six man is made.

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro

Iaukea comes out to a bunch of candles as we enter another Russo standard: giving someone a really lame character which is somehow better than the one they previously had but still stupid. Juvy calls Vampiro a jabroni for stealing the Juvy Driver. The bell rings and let’s cut to Oklahoma coming out instead of watching the openin…..maybe Oklahoma is the better option here.

We come back to the ring to see Prince blowing a kiss to Paisley (later known as Queen Sharmell) and superkicking Vampiro down. That’s nice and all, but let’s cut to Roddy Piper who is GETTING OUT OF A LIMO. Back to the ring with Vampiro whipping him into the barricade but heading back inside for a spinebuster from Prince. Oklahoma hits on Paisley as Vampiro lands on his feet out of a monkey flip and superkicks Prince for the pin. This match was less than two and a half minutes long and somehow squeezed in Oklahoma’s entrance, Oklahoma hitting on Paisely, Piper getting out of a limo and two superkicks.

Prince goes after Oklahoma post match and gets beaten up by Dr. Death.

Russo fires Mona for losing on Monday. Good. Go be the adorable Molly Holly and get to actually show off a bit instead. Rhonda Singh comes in and thanks Russo as Hennig and the twins snicker at her weight. She has a plan to get ratings. Could that plan be to have a boss who makes sure that every viewer knows that women are totally beneath him and how powerful he is over them? Oh and that Singh is fat and we should all laugh at her?

Roddy Piper and Nick Patrick have a chat for the sake of plot convenience. There’s a new ruling that says all referee decisions are final. When was this not the case?

Saturn and Stevie Ray fight in the back.

Goldberg/Bret Hart get a Tag Team Title shot tonight and don’t have much to say about it.

Rhonda Singh vs. Madusa

Evan Karagias is on commentary, so I guess the title match was dropped somewhere in the 40 minutes since it was announced. Singh shoves her down to start and runs her over with the power of fat. Evan uses pop lyrics to describe his feelings for Madusa, who avoids a middle rope splash. A quick middle rope dropkick knocks Singh down as Evan gets on the apron. Madusa kisses him but it’s just a distraction so Singh can miss a charge and knock Karagias off the apron, allowing Madusa to get a rollup pin.

Time for Singh’s big ratings ploy: stripping! Juvy loves it but the lights start flickering. You can see someone jumping Singh and knocking her out.

David Flair starts talking about his match in the Block (boiler room) with Jerry Flynn. He starts saying To Be The Man but cracks up instead.

We’re about halfway through the show. Total match time: 5:53.

Stevie nails Saturn with a Surge container.

David Flair goes to fight Flynn in the boiler room but runs into Buzzkill, who wants them to give peace a chance. David tries to hit him with the crowbar but Flynn takes him down. Cue Tank Abbott for the first time in about six and a half months to lay out Flynn. This was billed as a match, believe it or not.

Tag Team Titles: Goldberg/Bret Hart vs. Creative Control

Bret and we’ll say Gerald get things going with Hart hammering on the arm. The twins start double teaming to take over as the fans already want Goldberg. A clothesline gets a very quick two count from Slick Johnson, drawing in Roddy Piper for you “wrestling isn’t enough for you so here’s something else” entertainment. Goldberg comes in without a tag and cleans house with a spear, setting up a double finish with the Sharpshooter and Jackhammer to give us new champions.

Rating: D. Longest match of the night so far at three minutes and featured the illegal man getting the pin, a crooked referee, a replacement referee, and an argument between referees. Somehow that equals out to nothing to see here other than Russo’s favorite story: wacky partners about to fight at Starrcade. I believe this makes Hart the first Triple Crown Champion of two companies.

Post match Bret shakes Goldberg’s hand and says may the best man win at Starrcade.

Stevie and Saturn fight some more but Juvy says this doesn’t matter. Neither does most of this show, but at least it doesn’t matter with bigger names this week.

Saturn vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie starts fast with a corner clothesline but tries again and eats two boots to the face. Snake Eyes and a t-bone suplex set up a dropkick for two on Stevie but he comes back with a press slam. The referee breaks up a stomping in the corner, earning him a bump in the process. I can’t believe it but they managed to make it five whole matches before the first ref bump. Cue Creative Control to lay out Stevie, giving Saturn the cheap pin (with feet on the ropes like he should be doing).

Russo tells Piper that he’ll never work in this business again.

Sting doesn’t care about Diamond Dallas “Trash’s” (is he related to Hollywood Scum Hogan?) problems but approves of Liz. You stupid, stupid man.

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Juvy on Luger: “That’s the juice!” DDP comes out for commentary as Buff grabs a headlock to start. Luger shrugs off some arm cranking but misses a clothesline and gets slammed twice. Bagwell kicks him low and gets two off a neckbreaker, sending Luger outside. Page: “I’m going to shoot my own angle.” He gets up and gets in a fight with Bagwell, drawing out the agents to break it up for the no contest. We’re still waiting on a match to break three minutes tonight (the Tag Title match was three minutes even).

Duggan asks Russo for a match tonight but is told no one cares about him.

Jim Duggan vs. Asya

ENOUGH OF THE MAN VS. WOMAN STUFF! It worked with Chyna but this has been old for weeks now. And no match as Creative Control, La Parka and Hennig run in to beat down Duggan. The Revolution comes out with hot dogs and pies to make it a big mess. Harlem Heat comes out for the save.

Benoit/Sid/Rhodes are ready for the main event.

Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Liz is with Sting. Sting hits the Splash and has the Deathlock on in less than 30 seconds but Page makes the ropes. The referee is decked (with Page changing directions to hit him) 50 seconds in and here’s Luger to lay out Sting with the ball bat. Page adds a Diamond Cutter for the pin. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting can’t even make a minute and forty seconds.

Scott Hall/Kevin Nash/Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit/Dustin Rhodes/Sid Vicious

It’s a huge brawl to start with Jeff and Chris being the only ones left in the ring for a slugout. Benoit hits something like an Irish Curse before tagging in Rhodes, who is sent into Nash’s forearm. Kevin comes in for some knees in the corner before it’s off to Hall for some right hands.

That’s the extent of the offense from Hall on Thunder so he brings Nash in for a single clothesline before it’s back to Jarrett. Rhodes gets caught in a sleeper but suplexes his way out, setting up a double tag to the monsters. Everything breaks down and Sid clotheslines the Outsiders down. The powerbomb is broken up by a guitar shot and Nash pins Sid.

Rating: D-. Oh screw off WCW. This was the longest match of the night at a riveting four minutes and twelve seconds. They’re clearly setting up the next incarnation of the NWO with Hall/Nash/Jarrett and my goodness it’s not interesting. When the Outsiders are only in there for a handful of seconds each, why am I supposed to be interested in setting them dominate a company? Again?

Overall Rating: F-. Eight matches for a total time of 19:47. Do you know how hard it is to not have twenty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show? I can’t remember the last time Smackdown had eight matches on a card or at least one match breaking ten minutes. This company has decided to just not have wrestling on its shows and that’s not going to work for more than a few more weeks. Total disaster of a show here and one of the biggest wastes of time I can ever remember in wrestling. Well not really wrestling on this show but you get the idea.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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WWE Survey On New DVDs

WWE does this from time to time.  They’ve sent out a survey asking about potential DVD topics.  Here they are with my thoughts on each.

* 20 Years Later: Best of 1996 – Matches and discussion from the best WWE and WCW PPVs as well as historic Nitro, Raw and ECW matches and moments.

Eh I could go for that, as at least it’s not yet another rehash of the Monday Night Wars period.

 

* Booker T – Extended WWE Network documentary plus matches, interviews and memories.

The documentary was good so sure why not. Booker deserves a 6 hour set or so.

 

* Bruno Sammartino – Bruno documentary with exclusive material filmed at his home as well as Bruno backstage at Wrestlemanias, plus archival footage and matches.

Take my money now. If they’re going to do this they need to do it soon as Bruno is going to be 80 this year. Get this while you still can.

 

* Dudley Boyz – Documentary and match collection.

Fine, though it could easily be expanded to include Edge and Christian and the Hardys.

 

* Eric Bischoff – Similar in vein to the Paul Heyman release, a documentary on the only man who came close to taking WWE down with matches and interviews as well as a documentary on his time in pro wrestling.

I’ve had my fill of Eric Bischoff in my life and his story is really well documented already.

 

* Greatest Rivalries: Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon – Sitdown interview discussing the Monday Night War interspersed with footage from that era.

LET

IT

DIE!

 

* Greatest Rivalries: Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven – Dreamer and Raven discuss their feud with Joey Styles, interspersed with complete matches, clips and interviews.

I could see this one but it’s not my cup of hot chocolate.

 

* How to Become a Self-Made Millionaire with JBL – Following a day in the life of JBL, focusing on his life and how he made his fortune, including personal wealth tips.

That’s a bit outlier and I’m not sure how big the audience would be, especially given how big a market there are of these things already. This sounds more like a book.

 

* Hulk Hogan: Immortal – Hulk Hogan documentary and matches presented, built around the story of a Hogan bronze statue being created and released.

How many Hogan documentaries do we need? That statue thing sounds like a 20 minute special, not a feature attraction.

 

* Lex Luger – documentary on life and career of former WCW World champion.

Zero issue here as Luger actually has some good stuff and doesn’t get a lot of attention.

 

* OMG! ECW’s Top 50 Craziest Moments – A countdown of the craziest moments in Extreme Championship Wrestling and WWE ECW’s collective history.

Again, not my thing but there’s certainly a market for it.

 

* Roman Reigns – Documentary and match collection, built around Reigns heading into his first Wrestlemania.

Are you kidding? Win a title first.

 

* The Sheamus Experience – Sheamus interview as he tours Ireland plus matches, interviews and memories.

I could go for this but it wouldn’t be on the top of my pile.

 

* Stone Cold – One Man Show with Steve Austin.

This exists?

 

* True Story of Tribute to the Troops – Documentary on creation and execution of the annual WWE event for the United States military plus matches and memories from different events.

If it’s the original stuff the fine but the new glorified house shows need to just end already.

 

* WWE Divas – documentary looking at the past, present and future of women’s wrestling in WWE.

There’s some good stuff in there, but I don’t need to hear about Sunny, Sable, Trish and Lita again.




Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2003: We Must Defend HHH’s Legacy!!!

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2003
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

With two shows to go before Wrestlemania, it’s really hard to care about what’s going on right now. Is it really any wonder why Smackdown was beating them at this point? Rock is trying as hard as he can on these shows but my goodness he needs ANYTHING else to help him carry things. Maybe that can be Shawn vs. Jericho but it would help if they actually did something. Let’s get to it.

We open, again, with Bischoff, who says that his match with Austin will be a handicap match. He makes it even bigger by saying the Raw superstars will be the lumberjacks. Thanks for clarifying that as I was thinking it might be, like, the 1984 Atlanta Hawks or the cast of Tremors: The Series.

Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Morley threatens the Dudleys with SEVERE consequences if they interfere here. The fans chant USA which tells me one of two things: they want Van Dam to win this on his own or they have no idea that Kane is from Spain. The monster slugs Morley down in the corner and drops him with a clothesline before tagging Van Dam in for the first time. Something like Rolling Thunder gets two on Morley but he drops Van Dam on the top rope to take over.

Rob’s attempts at speeding things up again are broken up by Lance grabbing his leg (clearly still mad at Rob’s post match promo at Barely Legal), allowing the Chief to get two off a good DDT. Morley shows some intelligence by going after the legs but Rob gets two off a rollup and brings Kane back in. Storm gets a tag as well and Kane beats him up as a greeting. The top rope clothesline plants Storm but Morley makes the save, only to get kicked in the face by Van Dam. Everything breaks down and Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m so glad Vitamin C beat Kane and Van Dam last week. It makes so much more sense after this match you see. Kane and Van Dam are one of the hottest acts on the show and thankfully they’re getting a nice push as a result. I mean, I can’t picture them taking the titles off of whatever combination of Morley/Storm/Regal winds up with the belts but they’re hot at the moment and make for a good opening match.

Morley rolls away from a post match Five Star but the Dudleys come out…..and put Kane through a table. Well of course they do.

Post break the Dudleys say they hate what they just had to do but need to feed their families. Simple story but at least it makes sense and was an actual explanation for a change.

Here are HHH and Flair with something to say. The champ doesn’t like the idea of Booker thinking that he deserves a title shot so get out here right now and take this beating like a man. Instead he gets Goldust, which isn’t exactly what he had in mind. JR screams that he’s back despite being on the show last week. Goldust says that HHH’s performance may have been Oscar worthy, but deep down (“down there”) in the cock cock cockles of his heart, he must know that you can’t judge a book by its cornbread. This still isn’t funny if that wasn’t clear.

HHH and Flair crack up and HHH imitates the catchphrases with the stutter, so Goldust lays both guys out. That lasts as long as you would expect it to but Booker T. comes out to save us from the stupid angle and Goldust from a Pedigree. They do realize the WORLD TITLE match is in 13 days right? And this is the best they can do? Goldust saying unfunny lines after being electrocuted is supposed to set up a World Title match at the biggest show of the year? I’m starting to understand why this show is so hated.

HHH wants Goldust later tonight.

Rico vs. Maven

You can literally see them going to the concession stands as the bell rings. They trade headlocks to start and Maven shifts over into an armbar. Can you blame the sudden nacho runs? Oh wait let’s cut to Rock arriving, which is probably more interesting than what we’ve got going on here. Rico scores with some kicks, aided by a cheap shot from Jamal and Rosey. Maven comes back with kicks and a neckbreaker, followed by a bulldog for two. More 3MW interference sets up a neckbreaker but Maven counters into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh just…..yeah. This is another good example of having no idea what else to do with your two hours so they just throw two guys out there to kill the crowd. Maybe it would help if you had some stories to tell instead of HHH crushing everyone in sight and Rock having to do whatever he can to drag a bored Austin to one last match. Or maybe you could have a midcard title instead of having HHH be CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING.

Shawn and Austin had a discussion about Shawn being a lumberjack. This is news, despite Bischoff saying the entire roster would be at ringside. Austin, as expected, really doesn’t care.

Teddy Long tells Rock that Rodney Mack will take care of Hurricane next. Rodney Mack says the same thing, marking the biggest moment of his career: that time he was on camera with the Rock.

Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack

Mack gets rolled up for an early two and Hurricane elbows him in the jaw for good measure, only to have Teddy Long grab his foot to break it up. Rodney drops some elbows for two but Hurricane hits his usual, including the Shining Wizard. The high cross body and Blockbuster look to set up the chokeslam but Rock runs in for the DQ. This is where the booking goes out the window as there was no reason for Hurricane to not get a pin here. The DQ was just a waste, but at least Hurricane didn’t get pinned.

Rock beats him down post match with stomps and a chair. The idea is supposed to be that Rock is losing his cool over Austin, which they’re somehow doing without having Austin show up that often.

Jazz/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

Trish vs. Victoria vs. Jazz is set for Wrestlemania. Maybe this match can go on longer than 20 seconds. Before the match we get a creepy video of Victoria sounding like she wants to sleep with the title. Jazz and Victoria slap it out to start with the former getting the better of it but Victoria gets two off a powerslam. That’s fine with Jazz who gets the same result off the same move, but shockingly enough, NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. Off to Trish to wake the fans up a bit, including due to a Chick Kick for two.

A victory roll is quickly countered with a faceplant as Lawler says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. Steven tries to get involved and gets Victoria’s head shoved into his crotch. The Stratusphere takes Steven down but Victoria throws her around by the hair. Lawler freaks out over a shot of Trish’s chest but she avoids a slingshot legdrop. Richards crotches himself in the corner and Jazz short arms Trish on a tag attempt. A Sky High from Richards sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D+. Was there really no one else they could put in this story other than Jazz? The fans like Victoria and Trish but my goodness they just died once Jazz came in. Oh and then she walked out on the match and fans still didn’t care. There are some wrestlers that fans just can’t get behind no matter what and Jazz is one of them.

Jeff Hardy runs out to save Trish and gets a kiss for his efforts.

Video on Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania, which is the biggest night of the year for him. This was around the time where he started being considered Mr. Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho says he wanted to be Shawn Michaels but now he wants to end him.

Stacy tells Test that she’s found him a perfect tag partner and leaves. Test has Torrie Wilson’s Playboy and has to hide it from her. To recap, Test is dating Stacy Keibler and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Oh man it’s the start of THIS story. Test charges the ring to start and elbows Jericho in the face. Steiner gets in some shots on the floor but it’s quickly off to Christian, who eats a shoulder as well. We get the tag to Steiner, who somehow was in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago. The flexing elbow into push-ups gets two and it’s back to Test. Keeping Steiner out of the ring most of the time is a good thing for this match.

Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Christian to hit a spinwheel kick on Test. That advantage goes nowhere as it’s already back to Steiner for Rick Steiner’s powerslam/backdrop on Christian. Scared to death of the idea of having to deal with Scott Steiner, Christian grabs the referee and kicks Scott low before bringing Chris back in. That earns the king of the world a belly to belly (that’s one) and another tag brings in Test.

Jericho quickly escapes a powerbomb and everything breaks down. The evil Canadians are sent into each other and Test’s pumphandle slam plants Jericho but Christian makes the save. Belly to belly #2 sends Jericho flying but this time the powerbomb connects with Christian breaking up another save. Christian goes after Stacy and Steiner makes the save, only to have Test get distracted, allowing Jericho to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but why is Jericho feuding with Test instead of Shawn Michaels, as in the guy he’s fighting at WRESTLEMANIA in two weeks? This was nothing special or even good for the most part with the majority of the match being spent on wasting time until we finally got to the point. As mentioned, Steiner has fallen a long way in just a few weeks and it’s not likely to get better anytime soon.

HHH vs. Goldust

Non-title of course. Booker and Flair are the seconds as WWE suddenly remembers that HHH and Booker are fighting soon. Feeling out process to start until Goldust hits him in the face for the first shot. More right hands from Goldust set up a right hand from HHH to take over as it’s pretty clear they’re not in the mood to try here. HHH sends the injured (from the electrocution) arm into the post a few times and we hit the armbar. Goldust starts fighting back but that’s too threatening to HHH’s legacy as a main event star so he plants Goldust with the spinebuster.

Something like a Boss Man Slam puts HHH down and Goldust gets two off a clothesline. Again HHH feels the power of insecurity and sends Goldust outside where Booker beats up Flair. The injured Randy Orton gets in a crutch shot from the crowd to knock Booker silly but Goldust hits the bulldog on HHH. The arm gives out before he can try Shattered Dreams and it’s jumping knee into the Pedigree to give HHH the soul redeeming pin.

Rating: D. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that HHH has overcome career midcarder Goldust and his neurological issues. It was getting pretty dicey there and you could see HHH’s entire Hall of Fame career melting away every second he was down from a clothesline. I mean……HE WAS HAVING TO SELL SOMETHING! Oh and get used to seeing Booker down and out like that, because you know that’s what’s coming at Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is warming up when Rock comes in with his guitar to sing about beating up Hurricane. Rock is thinking about having a Rock Concert right here in St. Louis but there are too many ugly women in this town. Next week in Sacramento sounds a bit better. What doesn’t sound better is having a lumberjack match, because all those guys around the ring make Bischoff look bad.

Instead, make it No DQ and Rock will be there to have Bischoff’s back. So why set up the lumberjack match in the first place??? Just set up the No DQ and go with that. It’s like changing Smackdown matches today: just get it right in the first place and you won’t have to keep pulling these bait and switches.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

No DQ and Morley is with Bischoff. Eric wisely runs away to start so Austin beats up Morley as a warm-up. A right hand puts Bischoff down and the mudhole is stomped. He puts Eric in a Boston crab of all things but Morley offers a distraction for the break. That’s not enough for the Chief as he comes in for a low blow but Austin easily beats them both up. Cue Rock for a Stunner on Austin but Bischoff can only get two. Rock comes back in to stomp on Austin but misses the Elbow. A clothesline sends Rock to the floor and Morley and Bischoff both get Stunners for the pin.

Rating: F. Yeah whatever. What else do you want me to say here? The only note: this was Austin’s last match on Raw to date and likely ever. That’s how Austin, the greatest superstar of this era, goes out: beating up Bischoff and Val Venis in a nothing match to set up a match at Wrestlemania. It kind of makes you think that you never know when you’ll never see these guys in the ring again.

Austin gets a Rock Bottom and Rock sips at a beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. How in the world was this leading up to one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time? These shows lately have been horrible and it’s like they have no idea what they’re doing going forward. Shawn vs. Jericho is barely getting any build other than the superkick last week and HHH is squashing everyone he can find while Booker is lucky to win a tag match. Nothing to see on this show and it’s becoming very clear why this show is so loathed among fans.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – March 10, 2003: Rock You Like A Hurricane/Rash

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2003
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania XIX and in theory we should have the main events for Raw set by now, but for some reason we need Rock vs. Booker T. here to establish what has already been established. You can’t say WWE in 2003 was the most logical place in the world. Let’s get to it.

Bischoff is with the roster and tells them to not attack Austin any more as he wants this over. Rock strolls in and says the match with Booker isn’t happening because he doesn’t want the World Title. And there’s the bait and switch. Logical but still a bait and switch.

Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Van Dam and Christian get things going with Christian getting kicked in the face to send him running over to Jericho for a tag. Chris has some better success (no surprise there) with a forearm to Van Dam’s head, only to spend too much time talking trash, allowing Van Dam to dropkick him out of the air. Off to Kane for the flying clothesline before it’s back to the starters for another kick from Van Dam. Rolling Thunder gets two as Jericho sends Kane into the steps. The Five Star hits Christian but Jericho nails the Lionsault as Rob is holding his ribs for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here due to the time but it was really there for the post match stuff anyway. These were the two best teams on Raw at the time, which says a lot about the way the show was set up. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but Jericho taking advantage of a downed Rob made perfect sense.

Jericho goes to leave but gets knocked back through the curtain by Sweet Chin Music. Shawn leans over Jericho and says he’ll see him at Wrestlemania. That’s one of my all time favorite moments to set up a match.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He’s disappointed that Rock doesn’t want to fight, but he wants to address what HHH said last week. HHH said that Booker T. was just here as an entertainer destined to lose. It’s true that he’s here to entertain these fans 24/7. JR: “What’s wrong with that?” Lawler: “Nothing sucka.” Booker talks about being the youngest of eight kids in a one parent household. He made a lot of mistakes and one of them put him behind bars for armed robbery.

Then he rose up out of that cell and decided to make something of himself. He starts mumbling and rambling and you can hear the fans losing interest. Finally he gets back to the point by asking HHH to come out here so Booker can dance all over his face, but here’s Flair instead. Naitch says Booker isn’t Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods or HHH and being in jail 19 months doesn’t make him anything. Booker has been dealt the biggest card of his career, but it doesn’t say World Heavyweight Champion (good line).

HHH didn’t want to lower himself so he sent Flair out here with a message: next week in the bright lights and big city of St. Louis (which isn’t as big as Cleveland), Booker T. can be their chauffeur. Or he can come out here next week and try to fight HHH and get the beating he deserves. That earns Flair a right hand and we go to a break. This story is already dead in the water as they’ve had to bail on the racism angle in the name of good taste, but Booker blew the big promo here with his rambling. Again though, this could all be redeemed with Booker winning the title.

Post commercial, Booker goes into the Evolution locker room where the champ tells him to give him a towel. Booker slams a door on HHH’s head for good measure. After another break, HHH tells Flair that Booker hit him from behind.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

The bell rings and we cut to the back to see Austin arriving. Rico takes over with some kicks and gets two off something like a Backstabber. The Whisper in the Wind drops Rico but Jeff dives onto 3 Minute Warning instead of following up. Not that it matters as Jeff rolls Rico up for the pin. Kind of a weird match, which is hard to do in ninety seconds.

HHH yells at Maven for being a wannabe and beats up a production guy. Maven doth protest and we have a match for later. Not exactly Rock and Hurricane from a few weeks back.

Stuttering Goldust tells Austin that Bischoff is looking for him.

Rock thinks his locker room sucks and that Lebron James is going to stay in Cleveland instead of coming here. He grabs the guitar and sings about how much he can’t stand this town (“Cleveland doesn’t rock but it totally sucks!”). Hurricane comes in and they’re having a match tonight. Rock likes the idea of superhero vs. superhero in the biggest match in the history of Raw. It’s No DQ, meaning all superpowers go.

Rock is going to use his x-ray vision, heat vision and cable vision. He asks what powers the Hambugular is going to use: throwing chicken nuggets? Hurricane promises to use the hurri-powers but Rock goes into a diatribe about how he isn’t scared of Austin. The green one brings up the Scorpion King’s tiny ding-a-ling. Rock: “Yeah and NO NO NO!” Rock goes to leave but gets in cheap shot first. Notice that Hurricane got in a bunch of good lines before Rock laid him out instead of HHH just treating Maven like a joke.

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

#1 contenders match but Victoria comes in for the double DQ before Jerry can even get in a single puppy joke.

Here’s Bischoff in the ring for a chat. Last week he wanted Austin to be beaten into a bloody pulp but it was just his personal feelings talking. He’s sorry for firing Austin from WCW and thinking there was no future in him. After all, Bischoff is the reason Stone Cold happened right? Austin should come out here right now and bury the hatchet, so here’s Austin as per Bischoff’s request. After saying he finds Bischoff’s line of thinking funny, he flips him off instead of accepting a handshake. That shouldn’t surprise anyone but Bischoff didn’t seem to see it coming. I love overly confident heels.

Cue the Rock to save Bischoff and to spout some catchphrases, but Austin tells him to come down here and say it to his face. They trade some insults until Austin lays down and tells Rock to try and pin him for a change (burn). Austin isn’t leaving without beating someone up so he stomps Bischoff down. Rock, suddenly Bischoff’s best friend, comes down for a save but gets turned back by a hard stare.

HHH vs. Maven

Non-title. The beating starts early with HHH throwing him to the floor and sending Maven into the steps. A clothesline and choking have Maven in even more trouble before HHH stops the comeback with the sleeper. I really can’t believe he thought he could get that over in 2003. Two more Maven comebacks are stopped by a spinebuster and Pedigree to FINALLY stop this squash.

Rating: D-. We get it: HHH is better than Maven. I’m so glad we spent five minutes proving that point because we never would have known the truth otherwise. I mean, who needs a main event star who isn’t going to lose anything by mixing it up with a midcarder spending time putting someone over before they’re in a huge match in two weeks?

Al Snow comes out and gets beaten down for trying to help Maven. This is SO making me want to see more HHH. I mean, beating up jobbers and rookies? Sign me up!

Bischoff and Morely are annoyed with Austin so next week it’s a No Way Out rematch with Austin vs. Bischoff under Eric’s rules.

Stacy finds out that Test, out with an injury, is already at the Girls Gone Wild show.

Austin likes the idea and has Scott Steiner next to him for no apparent reason.

D-Von Dudley vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely says that if D-Von wins the other Dudleys are back but if they interfere, they’re still suspended. Oh joy indeed. D-Von rolls Morely up for two and a DDT gets the same. Off to Storm who walks into a flapjack but gets D-Von over to the corner. Morely gets in a shot to the back, setting up a superkick and the Money Shot for the fast pin. So this feud CONTINUES!

It’s time for a wet t-shirt contest to set up the Girls Gone Wild pay per view this weekend. Naturally Jerry Lawler is hosting for Stacy Keibler and four random girls. Stacy sprays the girls, tells everyone to watch the show this weekend, and has Jerry spray her legs and, ahem, elsewhere. Total waste of time but Stacy looked good.

The Rock vs. Hurricane

No DQ. JR tells us to send the women and children to bed. Are they not allowed to see what should be a squash? Rock sends him into the corner to start and slaps Hurricane in the eye. Hurricane comes back with some right hands to send him outside before throwing him back in, only to get caught in a Samoan drop, earning Hurricane some polite applause. He puts on Hurricane’s cape but gets punched in the face again.

Rock takes Hurricane’s head off with a clothesline though, setting up a suplex for two. The beatdown continues in the corner and Rock pretends to fly because he’s that awesome. We hit the chinlock and Rock is AGHAST that fans think he sucks. Hurricane fights up and grabs a swinging neckbreaker but Lawler says he should just tap right now. They slug it out with Hurricane nailing a clothesline and a Shining Wizard followed by a high cross body for two.

Something like a Blockbuster gets two more but Rock hits the DDT and instantly nips up into the Hurricane pose. The Rock Bottom and chokeslam are countered (JR: “Hurricane is like a rash!”) so Hurricane kicks him low and hits the chokeslam for a delayed two. Rock plants him with the spinebuster but here’s Austin as the Elbow is about to drop. In the distraction, Hurricane grabs a rollup for the biggest pin of his career.

Rating: C+. And again, Rock proves why he’s better than HHH. I’m not saying HHH should have gotten pinned by Maven, but my goodness did we need to sit through a five minute squash which didn’t do anything other than prove that HHH, the World Heavyweight Champion, is awesome?

On the other hand, the Rock does a quick job for Hurricane, which no one other than Hurricane is going to remember in two weeks because Rock is in the main event of Wrestlemania. Rock gains nothing by winning here, but Hurricane looks like legit for one night and they pay off the feud between the two of them. It’s the difference between just HHH winning and everyone, including the fans, winning, despite Rock and HHH both being heels.

Overall Rating: D. Rock is trying as hard as he can out there but there’s just NOTHING around him to help pick up the rest of the show. What is the second best feud on this show? Shawn vs. Jericho I guess, with their ten seconds of interaction tonight. The rest of the show is just so uninteresting as only the main events matter at Wrestlemania and half of them are on Smackdown. Bad show here but Rock was trying really hard.  Oh and where did Booker T. go after he slammed the door on HHH’s head?  He just disappeared after that.

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Monday Night Raw – March 3, 2003: We’ll Get There One Way Or Another

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2003
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the week after Rock showed why he’s one of the best of all time and now it’s time for a showdown with Steve Austin. While Steve might not be the star he once was, those two around Wrestlemania time never gets old. On top of that, we’ll get an update on HHH vs. Booker T. at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with Bischoff in the back with Rico and 3 Minute Warning. They’re instructed to keep Austin out of the building tonight. Why do the evil authority figures hire such lame help?

Here’s Booker T. to get things going. Last week he won the battle royal to go to Wrestlemania but here are Flair HHH to interrupt before he can get a minute in. HHH thinks Booker is a bit confused. Yeah Booker is going to Wrestlemania, but someone “like you” doesn’t get to be a World Champion. That’s reserved for people like HHH because Booker is here to entertain instead of compete. HHH asks for a little dance because people like Booker, “with your nappy hair and your SUCKAS” are very good at entertaining. The idea of Booker challenging HHH for the title makes the champ laugh.

Yeah Booker was a five time WCW World Champion but that title is a joke. That was back during the time when David Arquette and Vince Russo were World Champion, meaning Booker championshipped that place right into the ground. Booker wants to go to Wrestlemania to face the best in the world and he’ll do what people like him always do: lose. Booker finally gets to talk and says somebody like him is going to take that title at Wrestlemania. HHH: “Well good luck brother.” HHH reminds Booker that he has Scott Steiner tonight and would be surprised if Booker makes it to Wrestlemania.

Allow me to pause and say WOW. I remember watching this back in the day and feeling uncomfortable with it, but this is mind blowing stuff now. I mean…..HHH just basically said a black man can’t win the title. Yeah later on they would change it to HHH meaning an ex-convict, but there is NO spinning what he was going with here. It was flat out “Booker, you’re black” without actually saying it and I can’t believe they didn’t bail on it by the end of the show.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christian

Fallout from Jeff’s failed save attempt last week. Jeff jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner before jumping to the floor and pulling Christian face first onto the apron. A top rope dive puts Christian down again as Lawler talks about Hardy being frustrated lately. What appears to be a moonsault is broken up as Hardy gets crotched on top for two and the fans go mild. We hit the abdominal stretch as JR gets in a Wilbur Snyder reference. That goes as far as most abdominal stretches go so Jeff comes back with the Whisper in the Wind for two. The Twist misses though and the Unprettier is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad but these two know each other so well that they can have a passable match in their sleep. They were pushing Hardy’s impending heel turn which was an interesting way to go with him, but the fans weren’t quite ready to boo him yet. Christian was starting to rise up the card at this point, which is a good sign as the tag teams were long past done.

In case Austin gets past 3 Minute Warning, Lance Storm is ready for him next.

Chief Morely vs. Spike Dudley

This is the perk of having a minion like Spike around. If he wins here, the Dudleys are unsuspended. Spike jumps him to start and stomps away in the corner, but amazingly enough a guy the size of a Diva with some meat on her bones isn’t enough to stop Morely. The Dudley Dog is countered into a kind of powerbomb for two before stomping away with some force in the corner. See Spike, that’s how it’s done. A suplex and the Money Shot end Spike in a hurry.

Eric wants Christian and Jericho to help guard him against Austin. Why don’t evil bosses ever SEND ALL THE LACKEYS AT ONCE? If there was even an evil guy with a brain, the villains would win every time.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Jazz/Victoria

The heels argue over who starts and Trish bulldogs both of them down at once. Jackie and Jazz get things going but Victoria offers a trip, allowing Jazz to take over with a dropkick. A sitout powerslam gets two for Jazz but Victoria kicks Jazz by mistake. Again, GET SMARTER VILLAINS. Victoria comes in for two off a snap suplex but Jackie slips out of a slam and tags in Trish. Everything breaks down and Victoria breaks up the Stratusphere, only to get rolled up for the pin a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but they set up the Wrestlemania title match well enough. Trish was really starting to figure out how to be the superhero of the division but it’s really distracting with King freaking out that her top is so low cut. Victoria was awesome at this point too and I really want them to just get to the showdown between Victoria and Trish and cut out Jazz and Jackie.

Morely is going to help Storm against Austin.

Coach knocks on Rock’s door (why did it take this long to get to Rock? Why is anyone else on this show?) for an interview. First words from Rock: “Coach, are you on crack?” Rock thinks they might be able to do this Wednesday and sends Coach off with instructions to wash up. The camera follows Rock into his dressing room and sees him get annoyed as the fans boo. He looks for his guitar to soothe his soul but finds Hurricane instead.

After being confused for a second after FINDING HURRICANE SITTING IN HIS LOCKER, Rock asks the obvious question: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THERE??? Hurricane might have seen him walking around without any clothes on. Rock brings up eliminating Hurricane last week and asks about Ronald McDonald and pals. Apparently Rock was screaming something in Hurricane’s ear last week, but Hurricane only heard Rock screaming when Booker threw him out.

That’s just a mistake though because Rock tripped. Fans: “BOO!” Rock: “THE ROCK SAID THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!!” Rock goes into a rant about how Hurricane is nothing but his phone goes off in his pocket. Rock: “Excuse the Rock one second. Oh hey buddy.” After hanging up: “It’s nothing! He says he knows you!” Rock gets even better when he sees that Hurricane has braces. Is he going to go sell band candy after the show? Last week, Rock was saying his lines from Scorpion King, which was in I think Arabic.

Rock asks if Hurricane knows what the line means. Hurricane: “If it’s what I saw from behind that curtain, it means that the Scorpion King has a tiny ding-a-ling.” Rock: “WHAT????? AND STOP LAUGHING!!!” We finally get to the point of this: Hurricane thinks Rock is scared of Austin and has had Bischoff sending the goons after him. Hurricane leaves and Rock tells his crotch that it’s the king.

Sweet merciful goodness the Rock is on fire right now, but there’s one thing more important than all others here: he’s having these segments with Hurricane. Not HHH, not Austin, not Undertaker and not Hogan. He’s doing this with someone who has never gotten a break and is just kind of there.

Rock isn’t losing a thing with these segments and is going to have the real main event at Wrestlemania XIX. In other words, he’s giving someone a rub because it’s not going to hurt him and we get an entertaining segment as a result. Why can’t more big names do that? Ah yes, because they’re too busy telling their World Title opponents to dance.

Here’s Chris Jericho for a match with Test, but of course he has something to say. Jericho wants to apologize to Stacy for hitting her in the face with a steel chair a few weeks ago, but he’d rather apologize for her hooking up with a lying cheater like Test. Jericho shows us a clip of Test signing a girl’s chest, which leads to Stacy freaking out. Of course this leads to a plug for the Girls Gone Wild pay per view, but Test charges the ring as Jericho thinks it’s going to be a countout.

Test vs. Chris Jericho

Test goes right for him as Christian follows Stacy out to the ring. That earns Christian a clothesline from Test and a toss over the barricade for some Canadian violence. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl slam plants Chris as this is all Test so far. Since he’s Test though, Jericho quickly counters into a Walls attempt but Test kicks him off. A quick powerbomb drops Jericho but he distracts the referee so Christian can come in with a cheap shot to Test for two. Test plants Jericho with a full nelson slam but has to kick Christian off the apron, allowing Jericho to hit him low and hit the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) for the pin.

Rating: D. This seems like the blowoff to the singles feud as Test either needs to get a partner or they need to split something off into another singles feud. Jericho and Christian were a good team but this was an awkward time for Jericho as he was main eventing Wrestlemania last year but a year later he’s in a midcard tag team.

Post match Jericho and Christian give Test a Conchairto to really knock him out of the story but Shawn Michaels comes out to save Stacy. That earns him a chair to the face as Jericho means business. We actually get some blood to really make the Wrestlemania match clear. Jericho makes it even clearer by holding up the chair but says he wants to end Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania.

Goldust arrives (an hour and ten minutes into the show) and freaks out 3 Minute Warning.

Christopher Nowitski wants to help fight Austin but gets a surprise 3D for his efforts.

Scott Steiner vs. Booker T.

They slug it out to start with Steiner getting the better of it until Booker nails the flying forearm. He’s still no Tito Santana. The ax kick misses so Steiner nails the Namesake Line and a belly to belly. It seems that Steiner has morphed into a heel in the span of a week. The elbow into the push-ups gets two but Booker comes back with a running elbow.

The side kick out of the corner looks to set up the Spinarooni but Steiner plows over him because Booker is kneeling in the middle of the ring with his back to his opponent. Cue HHH and Flair as Steiner is bleeding from the eye. That goes nowhere so Booker botches the sunset flip out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D. My goodness how did Steiner convince anyone to keep him around after those HHH matches and then this one? They’ve managed to make Booker look horrible because he can’t carry Steiner (who could at this point?), after making him look like a fool because HHH is doing a racism angle for reasons I still don’t comprehend.

Rock is singing about how a big star like him has to deal with being in Long Island when Bischoff comes in. That’s not cool with the Rock as he yells at Bischoff for sending all the goons to stop Austin. If there’s anything left of Austin, Bischoff can make some rattlesnake dip out of him, but Rock will walk back to Smackdown if anyone goes after Austin.

Al Snow/Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Hardcore of course. It’s a brawl on the floor to start until Rob slides in and dives out onto Snow. Dreamer brings in the first cane because he doesn’t know how to wrestle a regular match. It’s Kane coming off the top this time with the flying clothesline to knock Dreamer silly, only to have the ECW guys come back with trashcan shots. This goes as well as you would expect as Kane chokeslams both guys down, setting up a Five Star to pin Dreamer in a short match. Apparently this was punishment from Morely. It’s punishment to face a couple of lower card guys?

Austin fails to run over all the lackeys with his truck so Bischoff yells at them. That’s a surprising result.

Here’s Austin in the arena for a pretty weak reaction. The interest just wasn’t there at this point. He isn’t sure what to talk about first, but before he gets into anything else he needs to thank the fans for sticking with him after he left. Then he got tired of sitting at the house and now he’s back and ready to beat up anyone in that locker room. This brings Hollywood Rock out to the stage, complete with an open bottle of water.

Rock is glad to see him back but gives Austin some advice: as soon as you become successful, these people will turn on you. Rock isn’t here to talk to the people though because he has something to say to Austin. There’s one thing Rock needs to do in his career and that’s beat Austin at Wrestlemania. How about it? It one corner the baddest man in wrestling, the man who revolutionized Monday night and the biggest star in this industry. Then in the other corner, Steve Austin.

Before he can answer though, here’s Bischoff to offer make Rock vs. Booker T. next week. If Rock wins, he can have his choice of Austin or HHH at Wrestlemania. HUH? Why in the world are we talking about HHH now? Booker vs. HHH is set and Austin vs. Rock III needs to happen. Instead, here’s 3 Minute Warning to get beaten down as you would expect them to. Austin turns around and sees Rock face to face. Rock teases leaving but comes up swinging, only to run away from an attempted Stunner to end the show. That’s it?

Overall Rating: D+. What the heck was that ending? We’ve spent all night setting up Rock and Austin’s showdown and get a culmination of the Bischoff stuff which was already blown off back at No Way Out? This was a mess all around though as the build isn’t working for the most part. We’re getting to the big matches, but HHH has already cut Booker’s legs off and now they’re postponing the announcement of Rock vs. Austin for another week for no adequate reason. The wrestling was mostly horrible here but that’s nothing out of the ordinary.

If nothing else though, it’s amazing how much easier these shows are to sit through than the three hour versions. No these aren’t great episodes, but they don’t have time to drive you crazy or to wear me out. I can live with short matches and some questionable endings as long as the show just doesn’t drone on and on. This show would be fine if they just let Austin and Rock talk all night, but Booker needs to get something back on HHH next week after that mess to open the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 24, 2003: One of the Best Heel Promos I’ve Ever Heard

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I really do need to stop waiting a year and a half between these sets of shows. It’s the night after No Way Out 2003 and thank goodness that means Scott Steiner is out of the main event scene. Unfortunately it means we’re further into the era of HHH’s World Title run and the start of the Wrestlemania XIX build. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. I miss Across the Nation.

Here’s a banged up Eric Bischoff, fresh off getting beaten up by the returning Steve Austin, to open things up. Bischoff says he’s here despite what Austin tried to do to him last night and Austin is banned from the building tonight. JR: “THE AUDACITY!” That’s not really audacity JR. Tonight’s main event is a 20 man battle royal with the winner going on to Wrestlemania for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. So it’s the TV version of the Royal Rumble? Next week, Austin gets to meet Bischoff’s own personal welcoming committee.

As for tonight though, it’s all about the biggest star in the history of this industry, and here’s Hollywood Rock. Yeah he’s a Smackdown guy at the moment, but I can’t stop looking at his massive Brahma Bull belt buckle. I mean…..dang man. Rock is so awesome in this role as he can turn on the evil jerk persona at the drop of a hat. After nearly four minutes of an entrance and glaring at the crowd, we hit FINALLY but he can’t finish saying Toronto, because he’s FINALLY back Toron-his mouth on all of us.

He cuts the fans off for chanting Rocky too early before talking about whipping Hogan last night, earning him a free pass to come here tonight from Vince. Rock finally says Toronto and goes into a hilarious imitation of fans being SO happy that he said the town they live in. It was here in Toronto that the people turned on their champion last year at Wrestlemania like a bunch of mother-Canuckers.

The fans chant for Hogan but Rock points out that he’s not here tonight. Of course it doesn’t matter what these people think, because they didn’t vote for him as Superstar of the Decade at the Raw Tenth Anniversary (easily one of the stupidest shows I’ve ever seen). That award went to Steve Austin, because everyone loves Stone Cold. Everyone that is, except the Rock. There’s only one true star of the decade and guess who that is. That’s Wrestlemania people. He’s as strong as a buck and the biggest thing to hit Toronto because the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK.

The fans aren’t pleased with that one and tell Rock that he sold out so he says he’s going to clean house in the battle royal tonight and go to Wrestlemania, if you smell…..whoa whoa whoa time out. “You were the very first to boo the Rock so you lose that sing-a-long privilege!” Someone in WWE put this on a loop for today’s heels, because this is one of the most perfect heel promos I’ve ever seen. Rock made this crowd do every single thing he wanted and made them hate one of the most popular guys on the roster at this point. Outstanding stuff here.

Jackie vs. Jazz

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. Jazz goes right after her to start and holds Jackie up for a slam. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m for Jazz in a match. They head outside with Jackie scoring with a chop to Jazz’s chest tattoo. Now it’s time for JACKIE TO SHOUT A LOT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SHE THINKS PERSONALITY IS. Thankfully Jazz takes her head off with a clothesline and gets two off a legdrop. Jazz drops her when trying a sitout powerbomb so Jackie comes back with forearms, only to get caught in a half crab into the STF for the submission. Now stay out of here Jackie.

Victoria looks nervous about giving Jazz a title shot. Jazz grabs the mic and says she’s back but Trish makes her return for the big showdown. She hammers on Jazz as Victoria comes in, only to eat a Chick Kick. Jazz and Trish get into it again and Jerry is thrilled because clothes could come off.

That right there is the mentality that has caused the 2015 Give Divas A Chance idea to be dead on arrival. That’s the idea that we heard for so many years and it’s what the Divas are thought of as a result. Yeah it’s a lot tamer today, but it’s still what they were known for all those years. Also of note here, JR says this is the same building where Jazz legitimately injured Trish’s leg. That’s not a word you hear that often in WWE.

Marketing director Stacy Keibler has Test involved with Girls Gone Wild. My goodness this is such a different time. Test gets to pick the finalists for Ms. Girls Gone Wild. We see a party in a club with Test dancing with the girls and telling them to go wild.

Test and Maven (what a pair) are watching the video in the back with Test saying it was a great appearance after all the stupid ideas Stacy had for her. Stacy comes in and doesn’t like what she sees on the tape. Chief of Staff Morely comes in and makes Stacy/Test vs. Christian/Jericho for Test and Stacy laughing at Bischoff’s beating last night.

We look back at Evolution electrocuting Goldust a few weeks back.

Goldust says he lived through the electrocution and is going to be back soon. Oh and he has Tourette’s Syndrome now but doesn’t notice. This isn’t funny and destroys whatever sympathy they had building up. But hey, Kevin Dunn is laughing right?

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Kane has Rob Van Dam in his corner, despite having some issues with him last night. Storm’s big dramatic entrance is still cool to see, especially for how basic he looks. Kane kicks him down to start but misses an elbow, allowing Storm to actually pound Kane in the back to take over. A missile dropkick gets two but Kane sits up and plants Storm with a good looking chokeslam for the pin.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is now 99% and he’s ready to go tonight!

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. Randy Orton/Batista

JR: “Scott Steiner, ready for some tag team wrestling.” Sign of the times: he would probably be publicly reprimanded for that line today. Booker and Orton get things going, with the latter looking almost unrecognizable with hair and limited (by his standards at least) tattoos. Booker drops him to start and scores with a running forearm but gets caught in the spinebuster as Steiner chases Flair around the ring. Batista’s running clothesline staggers Booker in the corner and Evolution takes over again.

Some right hands stagger Orton and the 110th Street Slam plants Randy but a Flair distraction breaks up the hot tag. This isn’t exactly setting the world on fire. Off to Batista for a bearhug before it’s back to Orton for a chinlock. A quick ax kick drops Orton and keeps the fans as dead as they’ve been in years.

Since it worked so well before, Flair’s distraction breaks up a hot tag attempt. Scott comes in anyway with some clotheslines as the fans boo him out of the building. Naturally Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex to tick them off even worse because he’s just kind of a jerk. Flair gets put in the Recliner but Batista makes the save. Everything breaks down and Booker rolls through an Orton cross body for the pin.

Rating: D. In the span of 24 hours, Steiner has gone from a pay per view World Title match to not even getting tagged into a first hour midcard tag match. Booker was the right choice out there as the fans hated Steiner even though he was beating up the top heel stable in the company. The dude was a disaster in WWE and it was only going to get worse for him.

We look at Rock being better than any other heel in years to open the show.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy gets one of the pops of the night for a tied off Maple Leafs shirt and some very nice shorts. Test charges at Jericho to start but Christian cuts him off. A tilt-a-whirl slam plants Christian but Jericho goes after Stacy for another distraction to keep being totally evil. Test loads up a gorilla press but Jericho brings in a chair to take him down for the DQ in a hurry.

Test gets handcuffed to the ropes as the Canadians (well the other Canadians) bring Stacy inside with Jericho putting her in the Walls. Cue Jeff Hardy for the save but Christian plants him with an Unprettier. Instead Shawn Michaels runs in for the real save.

Post break Jeff is still down (how nice of Shawn and Test to check on him) when Christopher Nowitski comes out to laugh at him. After finding a microphone that works, he calls Jeff a failure, only to get caught in a reverse Twist of Fate and a Swanton. The bell rings as Jeff goes up and the pin takes about nine seconds, or not enough time for me to bother calling it a match. Jeff hammers on him post match, meaning it’s a reversed decision. They really did that for a nine second match? Dang it really is 2003.

Kane and RVD are getting ready for the battle royal with the masked man ranting about Rock. Rob thinks he’ll win though.

Rock is on the phone in his dressing room and talks some trash about Austin. He busts out the guitar for some practice and sings about how much he hates Canada. This brings in Hurricane, who wants to know whatupwithdat about Rock trashing the people. Rock has no idea who Hurricane is but thinks he might be the Hamburgular. He’s not impressed with Hurricane though because Rock can beat every superhero.

Hurricane knows one he could beat though: the Scorpion King. “Brendan Fraser beat him!” Rock: “THAT WAS A SPECIAL EFFECT!” Rock says he can fly, which Hurricane says is a good thing because tonight he’s flying over the top rope. After the great promo, this would be the start of Rock making Hurricane a bigger deal than he ever was in his entire career.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ. This is a result of last week where Lawler tried to save Jim Ross from a beating. Morely hammers him into the corner to start but Jerry scores with a running clothesline and a backdrop. That’s a bit too extreme for him though as Lawler hammers away with right hands, sending Morely out to the floor. Lawler whips him into the steps but gets reversed into the post for his efforts.

Back in and Morely hits Three Amigos (Eddie stole one of his signature spots from VAL VENIS?) for two and a spinebuster puts the King down again. The Money Shot connects but Morely doesn’t cover. Instead he tries to bring in a chair, only to have the Dudleys come in for a 3D, setting up Lawler’s fist drop for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just an angle but I’m getting tired of the announcers in the ring. Lawler wrestling doesn’t work so well outside of Memphis as he’s just a veteran who wrestles once in a while. Morely continues to be one of the more underrated guys in the ring as he looks perfectly smooth out there and never gets the recognition.

Ross and Lawler talk about Austin being here next week.

Flair gives Orton and Batista their marching orders for the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Booker T., The Rock, Randy Orton, Batista, Chris Jericho, Jamal, Rosey, Rob Van Dam, Test, Hurricane, Rodney Mack, Stevie Richards, Al Snow, Christian, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Scott Steiner, Tommy Dreamer

Winner goes to Wrestlemania to face HHH. Sweet goodness the entrance music was better back in the day. Half the people go after Rock to start as Jericho dumps Test. That guy is just such a loser that the face pushes never worked. Jericho eliminates himself to run from Test though, like any good heel should. Van Dam kicks Jamal out as there’s actually a referee in there for some reason.

JR ignores the Corporate Rumble and says there hasn’t been a battle royal on Raw since 1995. The eliminations slow down until Dreamer is eliminated like the schnook that he is. Rock eliminates Maven with a clothesline and Kane nails RVD to no reaction from the announcers. Next up is Steiner tossing Richards and things slow down again. Evolution gets rid of Rob for a pretty early elimination before Batista saves Hurricane for no adequately explained reason.

Snow is out and so is Rodney Mack as we get Rock vs. Hurricane. They trade right hands until Rock kicks him low and dumps him. Booker and Rock go through the ropes to fight on the floor as we ignore everyone else. We’re down to Booker T., Rock, Orton, Batista, Rosey, Christian, Hardy, Kane, Storm and Steiner. Rock starts walking up the ramp and goes to do some commentary. Lawler: “He has to be better than Coach!” Orton dumps Hardy but Steiner tosses Randy, only to get eliminated by Batista.

Booker gets rid of Batista a second later and we’re down to five in the ring and Rock on commentary. Rosey and Storm double team Kane but the masked guy avoids a charge and clotheslines Rosey out. Storm is out a few seconds later as Rock demands a cameraman watch him drink water. Rock goes back to the ring as Kane chokeslams Booker and kicks Christian in the face. Christian tries a sleeper on Kane but Rock dumps them both to get us down to Rock vs. Booker T. Rock does the Five Time pose but Booker pops up and throws him out in a big surprise.

Rating: C-. Just a battle royal here with Rock stealing the show and putting Booker over like a guy of his stature should be doing. It’s nice to see someone getting a new main event push, especially when Rock is clearly getting ready for a big showdown with Austin. Most of the people here didn’t mean much and that makes for a dull battle royal.

Overall Rating: C+. Can we give Rock a two hour block every Monday night to let him do whatever he wants and show everyone how to be entertaining? This was ALL Rock tonight as the rest of the show is paling in comparison. I can barely think of anything else on the show other than Booker winning, which tells me how dominant Rock really was tonight. The wrestling meant nothing here but Rock was pure gold. Find that opening promo though and take notes.

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Thunder – November 11, 1999: By Jove They’re Getting Better!

Thunder
Date: November 11, 1999
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 3,283
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Mayhem and I’m losing my will to fight. Thankfully this is a live show meaning it’s only going to be mostly horrible instead of the scum of the earth that it can be when it’s taped. One of the few good things about Russo TV is the matches are short so the horrors don’t go on as long. Let’s get to it.

One more note: of those 3,283 in attendance, 1,771 were paid. The WWF ran a house show at the same venue about seven months earlier and drew over 7,700 paid. The building’s capacity for a basketball game at the time: 10,240.

Opening sequence.

Lash Leroux vs. Evan Karagias

Disco comes out for commentary, which will be a running theme tonight. For Nitro: Evan vs. referee Johnny Boone, who is working this match. Why? Actually I was hoping you knew. Feeling out process with Evan taking Lash down for a headlock but Leroux uses the ropes for a break. Evan starts arguing with Boone, so here’s Madusa because the opening match on Thunder needs this many storylines. They start some basic wrestling to fill in time before the next story and Lash is clotheslined to the floor.

Cue the story as Disco hits on Madusa. That thankfully goes nowhere and Evan hammers on Lash, only to have Leroux flip out of a belly to back suplex and grab a Russian legsweep for two. Another suplex puts Evan down as Disco says he’s going to seal the deal with Madusa. Evan fights back with some chops and wins a slugout before getting two off a Thesz press. Instead of following up though, he goes after Disco for hitting on Madusa, who slaps Disco as she sees Evan. As he heads back inside, Leroux nails Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: D. This ran 4:34 and managed to fit all that nonsense in there. How in the world do they think this is the best course of action for the opening match? I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there or what I’m supposed to focus on, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the wrestling.

Disco laughs at Evan and says he’ll bet $25,000 that he can beat Karagias at Mayhem. Madusa helps Evan up, whispers in his ear and kisses him. Evan accepts and Disco is given another Whiplash.

Gene asks Berlyn why he stopped dancing, earning him a hand over his mouth and a threat. Were we really not supposed to realize that was Wright until now?

Sid is looking for Rick Steiner.

Berlyn vs. Curly Bill

My goodness. Of all the things in WCW, THIS is the thing that gets a blowoff??? Curly is announced from South Pittsburgh, Texas. Berlyn hammers him in the corner as you would expect but Curly slips out of an attempt at a slam. Cue one of the Misfits to tell Berlyn to come out back for a fight, but the Bodyguard goes instead. Not that it matters as Vampiro comes in to jump Berlyn for the DQ. See, this is one of those things where a simple tweak would have been fine. Why not have Berlyn get a quick pin on Bill and THEN do the angle? Would that have really hurt anything?

Post match, Curly covers Berlyn and counts his own three, so the Bodyguard comes in and throws him out. Thanks for wasting that extra bit of time guys.

Gene talks to La Parka and Silver King. La Parka speaks English here, on orders from the Powers That Be. His English is actually fine, making me wonder why in the world he’s never used it before. The guy was over, he was fine in the ring and apparently he could talk so wh……oh right it’s WCW. Or that wasn’t La Parka under the mask, which is always a possibility.

Chavo tries to sell Amway products to a Villano. OH COME ON. They’re making a throwaway line into an angle?

Rick Steiner rants about Sid dumping him for the Outsiders so Sid nails him. Security breaks it up and I guess that’s our next HUGE match.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Lizmark Jr./Villano V

Before the match, La Parka talks about learning promos but still getting stuck in these lame matches. His lips don’t move so maybe I don’t have to be so annoyed at WCW for not pushing him. Well not really as he was good enough to be pushed harder but at least the talking wasn’t as big of a deal. It sounded like Ed Ferrara this time. Everyone jumps La Parka for what he said and he starts with Lizmark. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts La Parka down and Lizmark taunts King into the ring for a beatdown on the skeleton guy. King gets back at him with a knee to the spine and it’s off to King and Villano.

King slams Villano down and does a dance (he’s no Big Wiggler) before tagging La Parka back in. Villano avoids a dropkick and Lizmark throws La Parka to the floor for a suicide dive. With his partner in trouble, King busts out the yet to be named 619 to taunt Lizmark before sidestepping a charging Villano. Now it’s King diving on everyone before what appeared to be an edit sends La Parka back to the ring. As in he was on the floor and a split second later he was on the mat. Lizmark misses a top rope backsplash and gets caught by La Parka’s corkscrew dive for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally standard lucha tag with nothing interesting and the clipping being more distracting than anything else. So much for the show being live too. One might think they’re going somewhere with the La Parka stuff, but if he never gets near the title scene, none of it is going to mean much.

Post match La Parka chairs Lizmark and Villano.

Berlyn and the Bodyguard beat up Curly Bill in the back. This thing is continuing???

Hennig says he isn’t losing and going anywhere.

Chavo sells a childless Kaz Hayashi a bunch of diapers. I think this speaks for itself.

Recap of Nitro.

Booker says he and the woman from Nitro go back a long way. More on this later I’m assuming, but we might have to see Chavo selling stuff again.

Sid stares at Rick Steiner on a monitor. Steiner doesn’t seem to know that there’s a camera on him.

Disco is on the phone and says he’ll have their money. Maybe he can get some additional money if he gets rid of Hennig.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Steiner is defending and hammers Booker down in the corner to start. Back up and Booker ducks a Steinerline and hits the flying forearm and a side kick. They have to get all their stuff in though as this match isn’t likely to break five minutes. Steiner comes back with two straight belly to belly suplexes (check those off the list too) and clubbing forearms before we hit the chinlock. Booker quickly fights up with his series of kicks but Steiner shoves the referee in front of the missile dropkick. Cue Sid to shove Steiner off the top and plant him with a powerbomb to give Booker the pin!

Rating: D+. And never mind as this happens.

Other referee Johnny Boone comes out and we’ve got a Dusty Finish. Sid powerbombs both referees and brawls with Steiner. The match was nothing special and your standard angle disguised as a wrestling match.

Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

Douglas is on commentary and Hennig is fired if he gets pinned. I believe this is the third week where we still have no explanation for why that’s the stipulation. They do some of that wrestling nonsense to start with Dean grabbing an armbar before opting to hammer away in the corner. You can see his soul dying with every punch. Curt gets two each off a sunset flip, backslide and rollup as he tries to keep his job.

Malenko bails to the floor before heading back inside, only to get punched in the face to send him back outside. Back in again and Dean grabs a quick belly to back before putting on a chinlock. Curt comes back with his usual but Dean hits a very unusual (for him anyway) low blow but gets small packaged to counter the Cloverleaf. Back up and Malenko misses a charge in the corner, only to have Asya distract the referee so Shane can hit Hennig with the cast.

This brings out Disco Inferno as Malenko covers off a suplex. Disco shoves Malenko off and covers Hennig but Curt gets up and hits Inferno. Dean suplexes Hennig again for two but Benoit runs out for the Swan Dive on Malenko as Disco keeps everyone else at bay, giving Hennig the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of interesting that you have easily the best wrestling match of the night going on when they have a nonsensical run-in followed by a more sensible run-in to end the whole thing. As many people have said before: Russo did not know how a wrestling match was supposed to go so he watered it down into something he did understand and the wrestling fans suffered as a result. It’s so sad to see Dean clearly just there because he has to be and doing things he doesn’t want to do. You can see how miserable he is out there and I completely understand him leaving soon.

Rick Steiner and Sid fight.

Maestro is ready for his match with Brian Knobbs tonight and promises to go heavy metal if necessary. Well he’s already below Van Hammer so it can’t hurt.

Knobbs and Hart aren’t happy with Norman Smiley. I am as he’s one of the funniest things on the shows lately.

Maestro vs. Brian Knobbs

Hardcore. Smiley comes out for commentary with a violin case to distract Knobbs but it doesn’t work so well (imagine, mind games not working on Knobbs) as Brian nails Maestro with a trashcan a few times. It’s cookie sheet time but a chair shot doesn’t work as well as Maestro scores with a dropkick. Maestro gets in some basic weapons shots but Jimmy Hart grabs his leg, allowing Brian to take over again.

Smiley yells at Hart to scare him off and the guys in the ring trade more basic weapons shots. There’s not much to say here other than “Knobbs hits Maestro, Maestro hits Knobbs, Knobbs and Maestro are hitting each other.” They head outside where Smiley goes after Jimmy to distract Knobbs, allowing Norman to hit Brian with a pipe. Maestro rolls Knobbs up for the pin.

Rating: D-. I just sat through five minutes of Maestro to set up a Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs match. This is what I’ve come to in my life. It’s also proof that there’s more to this kind of stuff than just hitting people with weapons. People remember Road Dogg, Al Snow and Crash doing the same weak spots because they did them with some charisma and other creative spots to go with it. Also it helped when they did things outside the ring area but that could go horribly for WCW. Anyway, match was as bad as you would expect it to be.

We look at Malenko beating Mysterio on Nitro.

Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Barbarian/Jerry Flynn

I’m assuming this is a title match with Kidman and Konnan defending in case you’re really new at this. Torrie is in a backless green top and even Barbarian seems to notice her. After far too many catchphrases and unintelligible gibberish from the Animals, Flynn goes outside to hit on Torrie and gets slapped in the face. She’s not into mullets I guess. Eddie goes after Flynn and gets both himself and Torrie ejected. There goes the interest in the match. As this is going on, Konnan and Kidman double team Barbarian with Kidman getting two off a middle rope Thesz press.

Barbarian shoves him out of the corner though and it’s off to Flynn for a spinwheel kick. Yes Jerry Flynn is throwing kicks people. I’m stunned too. A belly to belly gets two on Kidman before it’s off to Barbarian for a headbutt and a powerbomb, putting him on the same list as Lodi and Sid. Now there are three names you’ll probably never see together again. Barbarian misses a top rope headbutt but catches Kidman on top with a huge belly to belly superplex. Cool move actually. Everything breaks down and Kidman hits a high cross body to pin Barbarian.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting but that might be due to it being so simple. The Animals were never in any danger but you have two guys get in some decent looking offense on them and it’s a nice little match. I still stand by my theory that Barbarian is very underrated. The guy kept getting steady work for over ten years and had some good looking power moves. He was a great role player and nothing more but he was good at what he did.

Luger says he meant to mace Goldberg on Monday and promises to make it up to Sting. The fact that these two are in a feud in 1999 tells you almost everything you need to know about where this company is heading.

Video on the Nitro Girls civil war. They really think we remember which of these are which?

The Revolution says they’re not done. Saturn starts talking about the Beatles so Malenko asks him who writes his promos. In an actually funny reply, Saturn pulls out a notebook and says “I do! I’ve got a hundred of them!” That one caught me by surprise. Well done.

Total Package vs. Kaz Hayashi

During the entrances, Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart is announced for Nitro. Yes, that’s a match they want to advertise in advance. Luger comes out with a knee brace and street clothes on, saying he’s wrestled over 3,000 matches in thirteen years and won’t be able to compete on this knee. Kaz is annoyed that Luger mispronounces his name and calls him a chicken so the fight is on. A suplex, choking and a clothesline set up the Rack to end this in less than a minute and a half. Total squash.

Luger holds his knee post match. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fake injury.

Sid Vicious vs. Perry Saturn

Sid shoves him down to start and nails a clothesline as Shane Douglas jumps in on commentary again. Saturn’s cross body is countered into a backbreaker as we seem to already be in squash mode. Malenko offers a distraction but gets stared down, only to have Saturn dive on his stable mate by mistake. So Sid is so insane that he makes the other wrestlers make mistakes?

After being dropped on the barricade, Saturn grabs a quick t-bone suplex back inside, followed by a springboard leg for two. A springboard forearm staggers Sid again but he kicks Saturn in the face to take over. Saturn kicks him low to break up the chokeslam, only to jump into it a second later. Powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet mother of goodness they’re turning Sid face aren’t they? I know it’s been hinted at all night but he’s wrestling this match as the good guy. Just…..no people. I know he’s insane and the crowd likes him but I can’t just forget all the matches he messed up, ruining Benoit’s push and EVERYTHING ELSE he’s done in the last few months to accept him as a face now.

I rant and rave about a lot of things WCW does but this actually bugs me. Sid needs to do WAY more than fight Rick Steiner (after turning on Steiner like a heel would. So yes, Rick Steiner should be the face in this feud and good night does that sound wrong to say) to be forgiven for what he’s done in the last few months but this is the new WCW I guess.

Sid teases powerbombs on Malenko and Asya but has to fight off an invading Rick Steiner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow this was one of the better shows of the Russo run so far. It’s another meaningless show with no connection to most of the main stories, but now we get a SID face push. I can tolerate these shows a lot more easily than Nitro as it’s shorter and less insane, but it doesn’t mean they’re fun to watch.

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XIX: Just How Good Is It?

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re into the brand split now, which means there are two world titles to deal with. On this show however there are two other matches which could easily be considered the main event. This show is considered one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time but I’ve never been the biggest fan of it due to reasons I’ll list later on. My opinion has been changed before though so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what Wrestlemania means to everyone. This is the theme they went with last year and it works here like it did last year. Interestingly enough most of these highlights are from Wrestlemania X7 instead of last year’s show.

The theme song is called Crack Addict. Needless to say this was never mentioned on TV.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending and this is during his Matt Hardy Version 1 period. In other words, he was completely self obsessed and had factoids popping up on screen during his entrance (Matt is appearing in his 4th Wrestlemania, Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him, Matt strongly dislikes mustard etc). He also has Shannon Moore as his Mattitude Follower (MF’er). Matt tries to speed things up to start but Rey backdrops him to the apron and adds a fast headscissors to take over. Oh and Rey is starting the “dress up like a superhero at Wrestlemania” thing here by wearing a Daredevil themed mask.

Rey loads up a sunset bomb to the floor but Moore makes another save. The champion takes over with a shot to the ribs for two back inside before hitting a Ricochet (kind of side slam) for two. Rey jumps into a kick to the ribs but still counters the Twist of Fate into a rollup for two. The Side Effect gets two for the champion and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold.

That doesn’t last long so Matt tries a shoulder into the corner, only to go shoulder first into the post. Rey hits a springboard seated senton and a tornado DDT for two each but Moore breaks up the 619. Twist of Fate gets two and Hardy is getting frustrated. Matt loads up a superplex but gets countered into a rana out of the corner for two. Moore tries to interfere again but Hardy is rammed into him instead, allowing Rey to hit the 619. The West Coast Pop is ducked though and Matt rolls him up with a handful of ropes to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like it ended out of nowhere which isn’t the right way to end a match like this. Mysterio was brand new and WAY over at this point, so not giving him the title here was kind of a headscratching move. Rey would win the title from Hardy, although it wouldn’t be for another three months. The match itself was still pretty solid stuff though with both guys moving all over the place and Matt using enough power moves to counter Rey while still being fast enough to be a cruiserweight if that makes sense.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. This would be your celebrity involvement for the year. They were from a series of beer commercials and would argue over various stupid things, in this case which match is bigger: Vince vs. Hogan or Rock vs. Austin III.

We recap Undertaker’s partner for later tonight, Nathan Jones, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring and no one cares. By plays to the ring I mean performs the song until Taker finally comes out.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.

The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.

Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.

Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.

Undertaker waves an American flag post match to show how awesome he is.

The Catfight Girls run into Stacy Keibler and Torrie in the back with talk of a new marketing campaign. Next.

We recap the Heat match where the Dudleys cost RVD and Kane the tag titles for no apparent reason. This won’t be mentioned again tonight.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Victoria is defending and is still psycho here. She’s also Tara for you TNA fans. Jazz hits a quick dropkick for two on Trish before Victoria can even get to the ring. Off to what we would call a Last Chancery to the Canadian after the champion is knocked to the floor. Everyone winds up outside with the champion taking over. She sends Trish back inside for a slingshot legdrop, getting two. Jazz and Victoria square off now before turning their attentions back to Stratus for some double teaming.

That goes nowhere though as it’s time for the villains to fight again with Jazz getting two off a powerslam. Trish comes back with a rollup on Victoria for two but she clotheslines Trish down for two as a result. Jerry: “Trish is like a quarter among pennies in there.” JR: “…..what?” Jazz hits a sitout powerslam for two on Stratus before arguing with Victoria even more. A spin kick by Jazz hits Victoria by mistake and allows Trish to roll her up for two. The Chick Kick puts Jazz down and the Stratusphere does the same to Victoria.

The champion is knocked to the floor as Jazz puts Trish in a half crab which is transitioned into an STF. Victoria’s boyfriend/manager Steven Richards comes in to send Jazz to the floor, allowing the other two to trade rollups for two each. Jazz comes back in and lifts Trish up for a double chickenwing before dropping her down on her uh…face. Yeah face. Victoria kicks Jazz down but misses a moonsault, knocking herself to the floor. Richards comes in and hits himself with a chair. As he goes to the floor, Trish hits the Chick Kick on Victoria for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Not bad again here and one of the better women’s matches I’ve seen in a long time. There wasn’t much of a story being told here but at the same time, they looked like they knew what they were doing and never looked lost, which puts them miles ahead of anything in the last three years of Divas matches.

Hollywood Rock doesn’t want to hear about the People because they booed him last year. Rock is indeed a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s been at. Tonight he doesn’t care about the people because tonight is about fulfilling his destiny by beating Austin at Wrestlemania once and for all. He talks about everyone remembering Act III and they’ll remember it tonight when Rock beats Austin in their final encounter at Wrestlemania. Not his best work here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

The Catfight Girls and Stacy/Torrie now argue over who made Wrestlemania. This is so stupid. They’re going to settle the argument in bed. Oh dear. One of the girls keeps saying Hulk “Holgan”.

Right here is where things start to become problematic. There are five matches left on the card and any one of them could be a PPV main event on a major show. The problem is there’s nothing but that left and we’re only an hour into the show.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. Shawn returned last year and won the world title in a shocker. The two of them started feuding right before the Rumble where they eliminated each other. Jericho wanted to be a wrestler because he wanted to be Shawn Michaels. People started calling him the next HBK, but he wanted to be the first Chris Jericho. Jericho then went insane with the jealousy and obsession with being the best by destroying Shawn with a chair. One night when Jericho was walking through the entrance, Shawn superkicked him and said he would see Jericho at Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

As Shawn comes to the ring he fires off a bunch of confetti canons but some of them don’t work. Shawn’s “what are you gonna do” look is funny. Lockup to start with Shawn taking over via an armdrag. Jericho escapes the armbar attempt so Shawn lounges on the top rope to rub it in. Off to a hammerlock by the Texan and we get a nice technical sequence with the two mirroring each other very nicely. Shawn hooks a headlock takeover for some token two counts as things are still in first gear.

Back up and Jericho avoids a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face. Shawn slaps him right back and avoids a charge, sending Jericho out to the floor. A baseball slide keeps Jericho in trouble but back inside he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to put Shawn down again before sending him into the buckle. Shawn blocks the bulldog though and crotches Jericho in the corner. At least Fozzy will have some higher pitched songs now.

Shawn puts on a Figure Four of all things but Jericho quickly rolls it over. Another attempt at the hold is countered and Jericho sends Shawn shoulder first into the post. Jericho tries to throw him to the floor but Shawn skins the cat into a headscissors to bring Jericho outside with him, followed by a sweet plancha to take Chris down again. Shawn tries a dropkick on the floor, only to be caught in the Walls of Jericho.

The American’s back is all messed up again now and Jericho rams him back first into the post a few times for good measure. As Shawn tries to get back in Jericho hits that sweet springboard dropkick of his and nails Shawn right in the face. A pair of suplexes get two for Jericho back inside and there’s a backbreaker for good measure. Off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back to give them a breather.

Shawn fights up and counters a backdrop into a DDT to put both guys down. Jericho still gets up first anyway and hits Shawn’s forearm and nipup combo for good measure. Shawn nips up as well and starts slugging away before hitting a backdrop to put Jericho down. The moonsault press out of the corner gets two and they trade pinfall attempt at a very fast pace, resulting in Shawn rolling out of the Walls. Gee his back seems fine all of a sudden.

Jericho hits a northern lights suplex for two but Shawn bridges up into a backslide attempt, only to have Chris knock him down. There’s the bulldog put Shawn down but the Lionsault only gets two. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets countered into the Walls as Jericho to put Michaels in BIG trouble. Ok maybe bot so big as he makes the rope a few seconds alter. Shawn grabs a quick small package for two but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put him back down.

Jericho loads up Sweet Chin Music for the final insult and it hits just about perfectly. That only gets two as does a cross body by Shawn. Shawn keeps the thunder stealing theme going by trying the Walls on Jericho but has to opt for a catapult into the corner instead. Jericho comes back with a belly to back superplex attempt but Shawn counters in mid air into a cross body for two.

Michaels goes up again but Jericho kicks the referee into the ropes to crotch Shawn down on the top. Jericho tries a superplex but gets shoved down and hit with the top rope elbow for two. Shawn loads up the Superkick but gets caught in the Walls again. Jericho drags him back to the middle of the ring but Shawn makes it on the second attempt.

A boot to the faces gets two for Shawn as the fans are WAY into this now. Back up and Jericho whips him hard into the corner for a Flair Flip to mess with the back even more. Chris tries a belly to back suplex but Shawn flips over and jumps up into a rolling cradle for the pin out of nowhere on Jericho.

Rating: A-. What did you expect off a match like this? They beat the heck out of each other here, although Shawn’s eternally on and off selling was a bit distracting. They did a great job of telling the back and forth story though, and that’s what the whole point here was. It’s also a loss that doesn’t hurt the loser which is always a good thing.

Post match Jericho kicks Shawn low like a real heel.

Sylvan Grenier, a crooked referee, goes in to see Vince.

We get the new attendance record announcement.

Limp Bizkit performs Crack Addict live. Again, not the best use of PPV time to say the least.

It’s time for the Catfight nonsense. The Girls are brought out as are Stacy and Torrie, all of whom sit on a bed for effect. This is exactly what you would expect: clothes being ripped off, spanking, Coach being stripped down. You know the drill.

We recap Booker T. vs. HHH which is borderline uncomfortable. Booker talked about being an ex-con and making his way up to where he is now. HHH started saying “someone like you shouldn’t be world champion”, which very quickly came to have extremely racial overtones. Booker won a battle royal for the shot and pinned HHH in a tag match leading up to this.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T

HHH is in his manly purple trunks here. They fight into the corner to start with Booker smacking HHH in the face a few times to take over. A backdrop puts HHH down but he comes back with a clothesline. The champion goes up top but just like his mentor, he gets armdragged down with ease. A clothesline puts HHH down for two but Booker goes up and gets knocked down to the floor for his efforts.

Booker gets sent into the announce table as the referee tells HHH to get back in, complete with some very salty language from the referee. Lawler keeps making jokes about Booker being an ex-con as HHH gets two off a neckbreaker. Booker tries to fight back with right hands but gets caught in a spinebuster for two for the champion. A suplex is escaped though and Booker DDTs him down for no cover.

Booker pounds away on HHH before taking him down with a forearm. A spinning variety of said forearm gets two but HHH comes back with his lame sleeper, which was the move he was trying to get over at this point to no avail. The facebuster staggers Booker but he comes back with a quick spinebuster for two. HHH tries going up again but jumps into a jumping superkick for two.

The Harlem Side Kick misses HHH and Booker crashes out to the floor. Flair gets in some shots before sending Booker back in for a freaking Indian Deathlock as we continue the trip back to 1974. Since the hold goes on forever and I have a chance to look at it, the question occurs to me of why does that hold hurt? Their legs are in the exact same positions, so why would it only hurt Booker?

Anyway Booker gets to the rope for the break and we get to the work over the leg to set up the Figure Four because we need to pay tribute to Flair every 18 seconds portion of the match. A rollup out of nowhere gets two for Booker and he counters the Pedigree, only to be kicked into the referee in the corner. Not that it matters as the referee counts a quick two off a rollup anyway.

A big back elbow puts HHH down and the scissors kick looks to finish but Booker can’t cover. The delayed cover gets two and Booker goes up top. He has to knock Flair down, allowing HHH to load up a superplex. That gets broken up too though and it’s the Harlem Hangover (flip legdrop) for a very close two thanks to Flair. Not that it matters though as HHH kicks him in the leg, hits the Pedigree, covers 30 seconds later and retains the title.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t horrible but TOTALLY the wrong booking here. There was zero reason to have HHH go over here other than he wanted to. Booker had been built up perfectly over the last few weeks and every sign pointed to him winning here, but instead HHH absolutely has to go over to set up that EPIC Kevin Nash feud in a few months.

Wrestlemania 20 is in Madison Square Garden.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. This feud was A MESS as all of a sudden Hogan came back and Vince decided he hated him so they should fight. The problem is Vince never quite made his reasons for suddenly hating Hogan clear other than Vince was nuts. This led to a debate about which of them made Wrestlemania and saying the match was 20 years in the making. Not exactly but when nothing else in the feud makes sense, why should this?

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on his father post match. He glares at Hogan but nothing happens. Ok then. Ever the jerk, the bloody Vince flips off Hogan to end things.

We recap Rock vs. Austin III. Austin came back from walking out on the company due to boredom and the newly heel Hollywood Rock wanted to finally beat Austin at Wrestlemania. Do you need much else of a story beyond that?

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Austin pounds away to start but can’t hook an early Stunner. Rock bails to the floor but gets clotheslined down in the aisle. Austin rams him into the steps and chops away before dropping him onto the barricade a few times. Rock is whipped HARD into the steps before they head back inside. A big clothesline puts Rock down but he takes out Austin’s bad knee to send Steve to the floor.

Rock stomps away on the knee as Austin stumbles around ringside. The leg is wrapped around the post but Austin pops up with more right hands. Rock kicks the leg out again and puts on the Sharpshooter, only to have Austin crawl to the rope. JR goes on a big rant against Lawler about how this is a wrestling match and not about puppies or Hollywood. Rock wraps the leg around the post a few more times before heading outside and putting on Austin’s vest.

Austin comes back with a clothesline and the Thesz Press to pound away on Rock. The middle finger elbow keeps Rock down again and it’s time to stomp a mudhole, but Rock comes back with right hands. Austin counters with a Rock Bottom of his own for a very close two. Rock fights up and hits a Stunner of his own out of nowhere for two more. Back up again and Rock pounds away, only to walk into the real Stunner for another close two.

Austin goes to pick Rock up but the guy with Austin’s vest on hits him low to break it up. The People’s Elbow misses but the Stunner is countered into a spinebuster, followed by the removal of the vest and the Elbow for two. A Rock Bottom gets two on Austin, another Rock Bottom gets two but a BIG Rock Bottom is finally enough to end Austin.

Rating: B+. It’s definitely a step or three below the one from two years ago but it’s definitely still entertaining. My problem with it as usual though is that it doesn’t have anything on it. When you have two huge matches between the two before when they were on top and now you get them both well past their primes for nothing but pride, it’s a bit harder to get into it. Still very good, but not as great as their others.

Austin salutes the crowd for the final time as he leaves. As of this 2013, this is Austin’s final match.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle for the main event. The idea is simple: Angle is an awesome wrestler, Lesnar thinks he’s better. Brock won the Rumble to get the shot and tonight is a mega showdown. At this point though, Angle’s neck is basically hanging on by a thread.

There was a very real chance he would have to retire before the match, but he begged and pleaded to be allowed to have this match, which most people believed would be his last. There was a match in Pittsburgh on Smackdown where Lesnar beat Angle, but it wound up being his very similar brother Eric. This match was originally going to be the title change because Kurt couldn’t go at Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

If Angle is disqualified or counted out or if anyone interferes, he loses the title. Lesnar has slightly injured ribs and Cole’s voice is almost gone. Brock sends him into the corner to start but Kurt takes him down to the mat with a front facelock. They fight over an armbar with neither guy being able to get extended control. Now it’s a fight over a headlock as the fast paced mat work continues.

Lesnar rolls Angle off and it’s a standoff. Brock takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar but Kurt grabs a rope. He pounds away at Brock’s back but Lesnar fires off some shoulders into Angle’s ribs in the corner. A powerslam puts Angle down for two but Angle comes right back with a German suplex. After Brock hits a fast gorilla press, Angle hits another German to send Brock’s ribs into the buckle.

Angle goes after the ribs like a barracuda, stomping away in the corner before hooking a chinlock with a bodyscissors. He shifts it into a kind of crossface grip before into a chinlock. A knee to Brock’s back sends him out to the floor but as they come back inside, Brock plants him down with a spinebuster. Lesnar fires off some clotheslines and shoulders in the corner, only to charge into an elbow. Brock is fine with that by snapping off an overhead belly to belly and another one for two.

Kurt comes back with Rolling Germans and Brock is spent. Angle’s neck is bothering him though and you can see his eyes not looking right. The Angle Slam is countered into an F5 attempt but Angle reverses that into the ankle lock. Brock gets the rope but Angle pulls him back without the hold being broken. For some reason that’s ok with the referee and Kurt switches it up to a half crab. Brock finally kicks Angle away and launches him out to the floor.

The champ hits a SWEET release German on Brock for two and the Angle Slam gets the same. Lesnar comes back with the Angle Slam for two of his own as the fans are getting way into this now. Back to the ankle lock by Kurt and he hooks the grapevine for good measure. Brock somehow makes it to the rope, which I believe is the only time anyone has escaped the grapevine version of the ankle lock.

F5 is countered into a small package but the Angle Slam is countered into another F5 which connects for no cover. Instead Brock goes to the top rope for the famous spot of the match, as he completely botches a Shooting Star Press, landing square on his head. With Lesnar’s brains somewhere in Bermuda, Angle covers for two. Lesnar stands up, hits another F5, and wins the title before heading off for medical attention. The gone look on Brock’s face is terrifying.

Rating: B+. It’s another very good match, but it’s still not a masterpiece. The botch is the main thing that people remember but the match is still very good for the most part. Angle competing in this condition was freaking STUPID at the end of the day and it’s no wonder that he’s basically insane now. Very good match though and a good way to start Lesnar’s second title reign.

Both guys stagger to their feet and hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. It’s an excellent show but it’s not as great as Mania 17. The opening stuff didn’t work nearly as well as the main event stuff, but the biggest thing holding it back from greatness is the lack of THAT match. The most memorable thing about this show is the Shooting Star and that’s because it was a botch. If that thing hit though, this is much higher because that’s a huge Wrestlemania moment to put Lesnar way higher up in history. Still though, excellent show and well worth watching.

Ratings Comparison

Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Original: D

Redo: C

Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Original: C+

Redo: C

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: A-

HHH vs. Booker T

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: A-

What the heck was I thinking on that Hogan match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/26/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-19-overrated/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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