Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Well we’re into the brand split era now and last month on Smackdown’s PPV, we had a Cell match between Taker and Lesnar. Bischoff’s response: the Elimination Chamber. This is one of those shows that ticks me off to no end because of how the booking goes. Other than that, we’ve got a stupid booking decision on Smackdown as well which I don’t think I complained about enough the first time. Let’s get to it.

The theme song is Always by Saliva which is a personal favorite.

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Oh and that’s Bubba and Spike, not D-Von. Spike and Bubba got put through the same table on Raw Monday to set this up. The Dudleys and Jeff clear the ring to start and Spike is thrown into the arms of the Samoans. It’s Bubba vs. Rico in the ring at the moment, because putting Spike and Jeff against Umaga and Rosey is a great idea right? Bubba chops Rico HARD in the corner before things settle down.

What’s Up hits Jamal and we get to the tagging section of the match before everything breaks down again. Bubba tells Jeff to get the tables but Rosey runs over Bubba after Bubba sets up a table in the corner. A BIG backdrop puts Jeff on the floor and Rosey rams Spike’s head into a table. Rosey misses a charge and drives himself through a table in the corner but that doesn’t count because it wasn’t someone else putting him through.

Jeff tries a top rope dive at Rosey but literally bounces off. Rico brings in another table and gets caught in a Dudley Dog, but 3 Minute Warning catches him in a double powerbomb to put Spike through the table instead. Jeff and Bubba get slammed down but Bubba knocks Rosey off the top and Jeff sends Rico flying into a cameraman. Bubba pounds away but Rico hits a spinwheel kick to take his head off. Rico could go in the ring make no mistake.

Rosey and Jeff go out into the crowd and there’s a table out there with them. Jeff is put on said table as Bubba gets kicked in the face by Rico. Jamal misses a splash and crushes Rico, allowing Bubba to Bubba Bomb Jamal and go to save Jeff. With Bubba’s help, Jeff goes up to the top of an entrance and hits a BIG Swanton through Rosey through the table to make it 2-2.

Back in the ring Jamal has Bubba on a table ready for a Rico moonsault, but he looks hesitant to launch. He looks over his shoulder, shouts “C’MON JEFF!” before staggering. THEN Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico crotches himself. Not the best response but that’s on Jeff more than Rico. Bubba tries a belly to back superplex through the table but Jamal moves it away. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind to Jamal and follows it with a dropkick.

Hardy goes to the floor to get another table which he throws at Jamal. Jeff tries to run the railing but Jamal throws the table at Jeff, who goes flying through it. That doesn’t count which I can kind of agree with. Jamal puts Jeff on another table and hits a HUGE splash off the top to eliminate Jeff. That looks awesome. Bubba beats on Rico in the ring but Jamal saves his sideburned buddy. Jamal goes up to try a top rope rana (I guess) on Bubba, only to get caught in a HUGE powerbomb through the table to get us down to one on one.

It’s Rico vs. Bubba with the former pounding away and pulling in another table. Rosey comes back in but Bubba pounds away on him too. Now Jamal is in there too and it’s D-VON to the rescue! He’s on Smackdown at this point so this is a big deal. 3D puts Rico through the table to end this.

Rating: B-. That’s likely high but this was what you want to open a show. It helps a lot that this was a fifteen minute match instead of like six minutes like they are on Raw. This was fun and the pop for the reunion of the Dudleys (which would be permanent) was a feel good moment. Good stuff here and a good choice to open things up, especially in New York City.

Stacy is at the World (WWF New York) looking great. She introduces Saliva who is doing a miniconcert at the club. They perform Always here to eat up a few minutes and we get a video about the remaining matches.

RVD is stretching before the Chamber.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

Angle and Benoit are in the back and Angle is incensed that Kidman could win a title. If he can win, then so can they, as long as Benoit stays out of the captain’s way. Benoit gets in his face but Angle says they should be friends to the end. Benoit offers a handshake but Angle says no way. Angle: “I don’t shake hands! Tag team partners hug!” So HELL NO is ripping off Benoit and Angle?

Victoria, still psycho here, is looking in a mirror. Then she thinks it’s Trish and goes nuts.

We recap Trish vs. Victoria, which is a hardcore match. Victoria is batty and claims that it’s because she and Trish used to work together as fitness models, but Trish slept her way to the top. Tonight it’s about revenge. Why can’t stories today have simple backstories like that? I mean, it’s not that hard to LIE.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Hardcore rules here and Trish is defending. This is their second PPV match after Trish won last month. Victoria immediately chokes her with Trish’s coat before getting a broom out of one of the trashcans on each post. Trish jumps the broom (lucky guy) but Victoria takes her down almost immediately. Victoria chokes her with the broom in the corner but gets flipped to the mat.

Now Trish finds a trashcan lid but Victoria knocks the lid into her head with the broom. We head to the floor and Trish gets whipped HARD into the trashcan. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two. The challenger puts a trashcan in between the top and middle rope but Trish grabs her legs and slingshots Victoria’s head into the can. Trish sets up an ironing board in the corner and whips Victoria into it for two.

It’s kendo stick time with Victoria taking a beating. She gets a boot up in the corner though and BLASTS Trish with a trashcan lid. Victoria has a bloody nose and sits on the middle rope, allowing Trish to try a rana out of the corner. Victoria counters into a kind of Boston Crab position, but Trish does a big situp and hits Victoria in the head with a can lid.

That only stuns her though so Trish BLASTS her in the head with a trashcan lid again to knock Vicotira off the ropes and out to the floor. Victoria gets a mirror from under the ring but Trish superkicks her down. Chick Kick (Punk’s high kick) gets two for Trish as does a bulldog. Victoria rolls to the floor and pulls out a fire extinguisher to blast Trish with. That and a suplex gets the pin and the title for the nutjob.

Rating: B. This was AWESOME with both chicks beating the tar out of each other. The story of the match worked really well too with Trish trying to wrestle her way out of trouble against a monster that wanted to hurt her no matter what. This worked really well and is one of the most intense Divas matches you’ll ever see.

Booker is getting ready.

Bischoff brags about the Chamber for a bit. Show comes up and says he’ll show Eric why trading him to Smackdown was a bad idea.

Heyman is worried that Brock can’t beat Big Show. Lesnar has (legit, due to Show hurting him at a house show) bad ribs.

We recap Show vs. Lesnar. Lesnar beat Taker in the Cell last month, so Show beat up Taker to make himself the next challenger. Even Heyman says Brock can’t beat him.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending here and is mostly a face now. It’s on in a hurry as the fans are behind Lesnar. Show gets in a shot to the ribs in the corner and launches Brock across the ring. Brock is all like BRING IT ON and grabs a double leg to take Show down. They head to the floor and Brock gets rammed into the post. Back in and Brock pounds away before hitting something like a belly to back suplex. Show misses a charge and Brock “hits” a German, which means Show lands on Brock’s head. Brock tries an F5 but Show knees him in the ribs.

The referee gets bumped and Brock THROWS Big Show down with an overhead belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair and Brock cracks Show over the head with it. There’s the F5 and a new referee but Heyman pulls the referee out of the ring. This makes no sense and I’ll get to why in a second. Lesnar figures out what’s going on and gives chase, but charges right into a pair of chair shots to the ribs. Show chokeslams Brock onto the chair for the pin and the title. That’s Brock’s first ever loss.

Rating: D+. Most of that is for Lesnar’s INSANE power. Here’s why this match ticks me off: Lesnar had to get the title taken off of him because of injury. That’s fine. So they pick BIG SHOW to take it from him? This is the same idea as Nash beating Goldberg: you have an unstoppable monster and you take the title off of him for the sake of this old dude? You have Angle, Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Edge on the Smackdown roster and you pick BIG SHOW? Now to be fair Angle got the title in a month, but why not just cut out the middle man and make a new star?

As for why Heyman’s turn makes no sense, the whole idea of the match was that Heyman didn’t think Lesnar could suplex, F5 or beat Big Show. He did the first two things and had Show beat until Heyman turned. Heyman is a lot of things, but he’s always been someone that knows what kind of a monster he’s got and sticks with them to the end. This is out of character for him, especially when an injured Brock had proven he could beat Show. So on top of being a bad match with bad booking, it makes no sense. Nice job WWE.

Show and Heyman immediately bail.

We recap the triple threat tag title match. Benoit and Angle beat Rey and Edge in the match of the year at No Mercy in a tournament final. The new champions argued over who is team captain and have to work together or they’re suspended. Edge and Mysterio won the titles on Smackdown in 2/3 falls match. Stephanie threw in Los Guerreros because these six are the Smackdown Six and you can’t have just four of them together, even though we’ve had that for months. Not that I’m complaining though, because this is going to be AWESOME.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are champions and this is under elimination rules. It’s Mysterio vs. Benoit to start which is fine with me. Benoit hits a HARD chop but gets caught in a rana and a flapjack to give Rey what will likely be a short lived advantage. Off to Edge for a double hiptoss before Kurt gets the tag and a big pop. Chavo punches Angle in the back of the head and that’s a tag apparently.

Chavo gets shouldered down but nips up immediately. Off to Mysterio vs. Eddie which is one of those pairings that works no matter what. A headscissors takes Eddie down and it’s off to Kurt to face the masked dude. They’re going very fast paced so far. Angle misses a charge into the post but Rey takes too much time on the top and gets run over by Kurt. The Olympian tags in the psycho who suplexes Rey down for two.

Back to Angle who suplexes Rey down and gets in a cheap shot on Edge. The Angle Slam is countered but Angle clotheslines Rey down instead. Back to Chris as Tazz talks about Los Guerreros not wanting to get in yet. The battling partners tag in again so Angle can put on a front facelock. Rey fights up after about a minute in the hold and kicks Kurt in the face to take him down.

There’s the hot tag to Edge who cleans house with a bunch of suplexes. Eddie comes in and goes to the floor with Rey. Edge misses the spear and gets caught in a Crossface and ankle lock AT THE SAME TIME. Mysterio breaks both parts of the hold up and Chavo pulls Angle to the floor. Rey dives on both of them and Benoit Germans Edge but Eddie comes in off the top to sunset flip Benoit, sending Edge flying in a German for two each. Eddie gets suplexed to the floor with his head smashing into the apron on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit rolls more Germans on Edge (Gee I wonder why he needed neck surgery five months after this) and Eddie hits the Frog Splash on Edge but Benoit hits the Swan Dive on Eddie. Angle Slam and Ankle lock to Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge. Chavo hits Benoit with a belt and throws the belt to Angle. Benoit thinks Angle hit him and Mysterio dropkicks Chris into Angle. Angle and Rey go to the floor and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination. Absolutely amazing sequence there which NEVER STOPPED.

Angle and Benoit destroy Edge and Rey before leaving. They lay out Los Guerreros too for fun. Eddie vs. Edge keeps the match going and Eddie suplexes the Canadian down before it’s off to Chavo. Chavo pounds away on Edge as Los Guerreros double team. We get down to a much more standard tag team formula with Edge playing Ricky Morton. Edge finally comes back with a double clothesline and it’s off to Rey.

Things speed up again with Rey flying all over the place and hitting a headscissors to put Chavo down. Edge spears both guys down and launches Rey up to rana Eddie off the top. That’s another awesome sequence. There’s the 619 to Eddie but Chavo hits Rey in the back to break up the West Coast Pop. Eddie puts on the Lasso From El Paso (a Boston Crab/Sharpshooter hybrid) for the tap and the titles.

Rating: B+. This was a match that felt like it got hacked to death. If you give these guys another 15 minutes (the match ran 20) and take away the belt shots, the match gets a lot better. The first half, as in before the first elimination, is INCREDIBLE. The stuff after that though is good but standard. Still though, these guys were the future of the company and it was a good sign to see them. Combine that with three guys named Batista, Orton and Cena that had debuted earlier in the year and you’ve got the next five years of WWE.

Here’s Nowitski to make fun of New York in a really stupid promo. Matt Hardy comes out to yell at him before blasting New York as well. The mouth running goes on even longer until FINALLY Scott Steiner debuts and murders them. Somehow this took SEVEN AND A HALF MINUTES. Steiner would go on to have perhaps the two worst PPV world title matches in recorded history against HHH before being shunted down the card.

Shawn says he believes in himself but we get RNN BREAKING NEWS! It’s Randy Orton who has a bad shoulder. He says there’s no new damage to his bad shoulder due to an extra pillow on the plane. This was the WAY over the top deal that Orton was doing which first turned him heel. I loved it but it got annoying fast, which is the right idea.

We recap the Elimination Chamber. HHH is the official WORLD CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING but Shawn beat him at Summerslam and wants a rematch. Bischoff wants to top the Cell so here’s his latest idea. The rules are mostly simple: two guys start and there are four more in individual pods. After five minutes there’s a new guy introduced and it’s elimination rules. The winner is world champion. The other four guys are there because they’re the biggest stars on Raw. This is set to Always again and they’re not even trying to hide that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn.

HHH says that he’s awesome and he’ll keep the title.

Eric comes out and walks through the Chamber to explain everything I just said. Apparently the glass is bulletproof. This is the first time the Chamber had been seen and I believe the first time the rules have been explained.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is a tag champion, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide show of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.

Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. IT’S A FREAKING CAGE! Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. Yeah there’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if you’ve somehow never seen one of these.

Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho. That’s still awesome.

HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.

Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.

Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth because we don’t quite know if Shawn’s back can handle a full match yet. Kane goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber.

JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.

HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.

Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. After being rammed into the cage a few times, Michaels is busted open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two. You know, the move that put out Booker and Kane earlier? It’s now not enough to put down Shawn when he’s been beaten down and injured on top of having one match in four and a half years.

Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one. If this surprises you, you’re an imbecile.

So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. Gosh I’m so glad these two are so selfless. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again. You know, because Shawn would still be alive at this point.

Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. Seriously, those brown tights are so stupid looking. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.

Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the freaking title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.

That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.

In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.

As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show overall is pretty solid actually but the main event is a good sized letdown. The Show/Lesnar stuff I went on about enough, but other than those two things the card is pretty solid. The triple threat tag is good stuff but the No Mercy match is even better. This show is worth checking out, but you won’t be thrilled by the Chamber.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boys/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

Redo: B

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B+

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dang that’s a big swing on the Chamber. I don’t remember liking it that much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: June 17, 1999
Location: Onecenter, Syracuse, New York
Commentators: Larry Zbyezko, Mike Tenay

Oh goodie it’s a taped show from before the pay per view. Thankfully they’ve done a better job of having the commentary actually be up to date with the most recent shows. The problem with that is the most recent shows have been terrible so it doesn’t make things any better. Let’s get to it.

Opening video.

Texas Hangmen vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.

They’re masked men who carry bullropes. I’ve never been to Texas but when I go there, I better see about 18 million bullropes and bullrope matches in the street or my heart will be broken. Hennig and we’ll say #1 get things going with a technical sequence. Neither guy gets anywhere with hammerlocks so #1 drops him with a shoulder and chops away. Curt comes back with chops and brings in Bobby so #1 can get double teamed for a bit.

Off to #2 as the Hangmen get some double teaming of their own as Hennig is held back by the referee. Bobby nails #2 with a clothesline and makes the tag off to Hennig as house is cleaned. The necksnap sets up choking with the Hangmen’s bullrope and it’s back to Duncum for a powerslam. Hennig comes back in with a knee lift followed by the HennigPlex to pin #1.

Rating: D+. So was this the Texas civil war? Either way, the Hangmen were the old school masked jobbers who looked intimidating but didn’t do anything in the ring. The good thing is you can take any two guys on the roster and give them the gimmick for the night and save the cost of bringing people in. Knowing WCW, they brought in a dozen guys to see who fit the costumes best and paid them all handsomely.

Post match Duncum hogties #1 until Konnan and Mysterio come out to beat up the cowboys. The unmasked cowboys that is.

Video on Flair and Piper because Roddy is still featured for reasons I don’t understand.

Scotty Riggs vs. Disco Inferno

Before we can get going, Riggs has referee Johnny Boone hold the mirror for a few moments. Disco’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere so he shoulders Riggs down. Scotty comes back with a dropkick (still nice) and some hip swivels. They feel each other out some more until Disco armdrags him down and stomps away in the corner. The middle rope ax handle connects and Riggs crawls over to check the mirror.

Riggs is goldbricking though and uses the distraction to send Disco into the buckle and take over. He throws Disco outside, only to have Inferno come back in with a sunset flip for two. A clothesline and elbow get two on Disco but it’s mirror time again. Now it’s Disco rolling Riggs up for two but getting punched into a chinlock. Disco fights up and tries the Last Dance, only to get sent into the buckle. They crisscross and try cross bodies at the same time with Riggs landing on top for two. Riggs goes up but dives into a punch to the ribs, setting up the Last Dance for the pin.

Rating: D. Scotty Riggs’ employment continues to astound me. Yeah he has a great dropkick but is that really enough to warrant him having a job for this long? What’s even worse is that he somehow got a job in ECW and a PPV match against Rob Van Dam after this run. Dull match but at least Disco won clean.

Clips from the Master P. press conference.

Clips from Konnan/Mysterio vs. La Parka/Psychosis from Nitro.

Evan Karagias vs. Prince Iaukea

Feeling out process to start until Iaukea looks at the ground. Evan looks down as well and gets nailed in the face because he isn’t that bright. Prince gets clotheslined in the corner but he jumps up in the corner to avoid a charge. It looked good, but it would have been better if Evan actually charged. Instead Evan dropkicks him in the back and slides out to the apron for a springboard clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Iaukea snapmaring Evan down for a kick to the back for two. Evan tries a sunset flip but Prince grabs the referee to stay up. Prince kicks him down and puts on a surfboard for a bit as the fans just do not care here. They head back outside with Karagias being sent into various objects. Back in and Iaukea puts on a chinlock to kill time. Evan fights up and flips out of a belly to back suplex before planting him with a powerslam for two. Prince tries a fireman’s carry but gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: D. Much like Riggs, I have no idea why Iaukea continues to have a job. How can a wrestling company watch his matches and think that he’s the best option for this spot? The match was long and dull with neither guy doing anything special and just killing time until they got to the finish. At least someone new is getting a win for a change.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus

The luchadores are thrown out to the floor until it’s Silver and Knobbs in the ring. Brian nails a running clothesline in the corner and it’s quickly off to Morrus. Hugh destroys everyone in sight with a forearm to La Parka and a release gorilla press slam to Silver King. He misses a top rope elbow though and the skeleton man comes in off the tag. A missile dropkick puts Hugh down again and King comes back in for some kicks of his own. He nails a middle rope moonsault and goes outside to get a chair, allowing La Parka to dropkick Morrus into the steel.

Back in for some double teaming but La Parka clotheslines the wrong guy, allowing for the hot tag to Knobbs. Brian takes over with some clotheslines and a legdrop but gets kicked in the head to put him right back down. It’s off to King vs. Morrus but Brian sneaks in a chair shot of his own. A gutwrench suplex sets up No Laughing Matter on Silver and we’re done.

Rating: C. I don’t know what’s gotten into La Parka and Silver King lately but I wish it got into more people. The match wasn’t great or anything but it was a minor miracle given who was in there. Knobbs and Morrus aren’t interesting though and I keep rolling my eyes when they get wins as a team.

The main event pyro goes off with well over half an hour to go in the show. Awesome main event?

Booker T. vs. Barbarian

No not quite. This is Booker’s first match in about a month after an injury. Booker grabs a hold but gets nailed by a shoulder. To mix things up a bit, Booker grabs a hold but gets nailed by a back elbow. With holds not really working, Booker nails the flying forearm to put Barbarian outside. Back in and we grab an armbar because Booker is overly confident in his submission skills. Barbarian kicks him down (I’m as shocked as you are) but eats a superkick, sending him outside next to Jimmy.

Back in and Booker hammers away, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. They head outside together and Booker takes a chair shot as we go to a break. We come back with Barbarian using his standard heel offense (kick, strike, choke, distract the referee so Hart can choke, etc), capped off by an atomic drop. It’s chinlock time but Booker elbows up, only to get choked right back down.

Back to the chinlock for a bit until Booker elbows up again (he needs to get over this repetitive stuff) and starts his finishing sequence. The forearm and side slam set up the sidekick but Jimmy grabs Booker’s foot. The Kick of Fear sends Booker outside but Barbarian takes too much time, allowing Booker to hook a rollup out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part as it was just a way to make Booker look good. Barbarian continues to be a guy that you can depend on for a decent match like this and he had that same match for the better part of ever. There has to be something to someone who can stay employed without changing anything in that many years.

Stills of Savage vs. Nash. Haven’t I suffered enough from that match yet?

We see Nash accepting Sid’s challenge on Nitro.

Bash at the Beach ad.

And now, here’s the ENTIRE eight man tag from Nitro to close things out. Here it is, just so this isn’t the shortest Thunder review ever.

Ric Flair/Roddy Piper/Kanyon/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Buff Bagwell

That’s quite the tag match. The old guys run away to start until we get down to Flair vs. Benoit. We get the required chop off until Benoit backdrops him into the heel corner. Off to Page who has to be saved from a Crossface attempt. Piper comes in and gets his wish to face Bagwell, only to get punched out to the floor a few seconds later. An atomic drop to Piper sends us to a break.

Back with Benoit escaping a belly to back suplex and rolling up Flair for two. We get the pinfall reversal sequence with Benoit coming out on the bad end of it. Flair tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up again, only to have Benoit nail him with an enziguri and put him in the Figure Four instead. Everyone comes in and the good guys put on Figure Fours in a cool spot (Malenko screwed up at first). Bigelow makes the save with a legdrop though and it’s off to Kanyon to work on Chris. A middle rope Fameasser drops Benoit and Kanyon brings in Page as the heels have him in trouble.

Flair comes back in for chops before it’s back to Kanyon, who sends Benoit into the discus lariat from Page. Piper gets the tag for his lame punches before it’s back to Page for a stomping. We get the required missed tag to Saturn, allowing the Jersey boys to suplex Benoit down. Page goes up for the middle rope jump that is clearly designed to jump into a raised boot and nothing else, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down until it’s only Malenko and Flair left in the ring. Ric knocks him out to the floor but turns around and takes the Blockbuster for the surprise pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with the young guys FINALLY getting a big win. However, this brings up the important question: how can Flair possibly come back from this devastating loss to a fluke move from a former champion that has been rising up the card for years? I mean, clearly such a loss completely cripples Flair’s career and ends any potential he’s ever going to have right?

Overall Rating: D-. I know the eight man wasn’t bad, but the fact that it was the second time I’ve seen the match inside of a week is ridiculous. It’s very rare that a match is important or good enough to air it again on the next TV show and the eight man isn’t at that level. Other than that there’s nothing worth seeing here and the show was far more dull than anything else. Not being able to fill nearly half an hour of a show is pitiful though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 22, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request from a long time ago and I’m not quite sure why people want to see it. Looking over the card there’s quite a bit of stuff that could be worth looking at so maybe there’s actually a decent show in here. Given that I’ve done so much of the year already though, I can’t imagine this is going to be anything special. Let’s get to it.

Here’s new GM Eric Bischoff to open things up. He insists that he loves all of us and promises the Rock will be here tonight. On top of that, we’re getting the man that is going to make this show #1 in all of entertainment: HHH. Cue the Game (with a LONG entrance) for his first official night as a member of the Raw roster. Bischoff tries to say he’s bringing up Raw but HHH says he’s bringing up his best friend instead. Shawn comes out to a very nice reaction but Bischoff cuts it off to name Shawn as HHH’s new manager.

He makes sure to say that Shawn will always be a few steps behind HHH, but that’s not cool with Shawn. Eric and Michaels have a brief exchange over who has more stroke with Bischoff saying he isn’t Vince. Shawn suggests Bischoff learn who he is, because he doesn’t react well to ultimatums. He’ll always take the highway instead of someone else’s way so he’s out of here. Bischff says Shawn is walking out on the fans but Shawn leaves anyway. HHH goes after him, allowing Eric to announce that the Intercontinental and European Titles will be unified in a ladder match tonight.

HHH catches up with Shawn in the back but Michaels doesn’t like being told what to do. Shawn knows HHH came to Raw because of him but Michaels didn’t choose to work for Bischoff. HHH says being his manager wouldn’t be that bad with Shawn’s back being that bad. Don’t be like Stone Cold and walk out with your ball. Trips has an idea to make this work and Shawn begrudgingly agrees to stay and listen.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Van Dam is IC, Jeff is European and this is a ladder match in case you have the attention span of a goldfish. Rob scores with an early dropkick and covers out of instinct. Instead he throws Jeff to the floor and nails him with a ladder. An early climb attempt doesn’t work as Jeff pops back up for a save. Now it’s Jeff loading up the ladder but getting it dropkicked out from under him.

Another dropkick knocks the ladder out of Van Dam’s hands so both guys slide in fresh ladders. They ram the ladders into each other and both guys go down. Rob gets the better of it and puts Jeff on the ladder for a cartwheel moonsault. Hardy pops up for another save with a Russian legsweep off the ladder. That’s not enough for Hardy of course so he puts the ladder on top of Van Dam for a Swanton to keep Rob in trouble.

Both guys go up again but it’s Van Dam with a sunset bomb to take Jeff down. Rolling Thunder onto Jeff onto the ladder keeps Hardy in trouble. Rob goes up but gets nailed in the back with another ladder, only to kick Jeff off his ladder. Van Dam drops a splash off the ladder before climbing back up to win the title in less than seven minutes.

Rating: C. The crashes were good but seven minutes with five minutes to get ready? That’s the best they can give to the last match for the European Title? And that’s really been gone for twelve years now? The match was fun enough but again, give it either a build or some more time. This was pretty ridiculous all things considered.

Here’s Christopher Nowitzki with something to say. He sucks up to Bischoff for giving him the chance to get something off his chest. Ever since he got here, he’s been perplexed as to why people hate a Harvard graduate. Before he can brag any further, here’s Undertaker to interrupt. He isn’t in the best mood after losing the WWE Title last night and it’s Nowitzki getting the beating to let off some frustration. A quick Last Ride and we’re done.

Bischoff tries to get Rhyno, almost back from neck surgery, to join Raw. Rhyno seems interested but doesn’t sign yet. Shawn Stasiak and D’Lo Brown come up and ask for a chance to get on Raw. Bischoff gives them three minutes to entertain him later tonight. I don’t see this going well for them.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly/William Regal

The genders don’t have to match here. Bubba is very banged up coming off a tables match last night. The guys start with Regal taking a big backdrop but Bubba only has one good arm. Regal crawls over and hides with Molly before tagging her in. Molly wants a test of strength so Bubba does the arm switches into a dance, earning him a slap. Bubba spanks Molly to retaliate before it’s off to Stratus for some dropkicks. Regal cheats from the apron so Molly can grab a northern lights suplex for two.

Trish has to fight off the Englishman and scores with a dropkick before making the hot(ish) tag. Everything breaks down and Molly gets crotched on the top, leaving the good ones to What’s Up Regal. Bubba loads up the chest slap on Trish but puts the brakes on to keep it PG. As he goes to get the tables, Regal Germans Trish and puts on the Regal Stretch for the win.

Rating: D. Standard comedy match without much of the comedy here. Bubba stopping himself at Trish’s chest was a cute bit but other than that I have no idea why these teams were fighting. JR mentioned that the girls got to pick their partners but there’s no reason given for anything else.

Bischoff tells someone that they’re on when three minutes are up. He turns around and sees Benoit, who will be in a match later with Booker T. for a shot at the Intercontinental Title.

Here’s the new WWE Champion the Rock with something to say. Actually scratch that as he can barely get any words out over the fans’ cheering. FINALLY he’s ready to talk and says he won’t be riding motorcycles with Undertaker or drinking milk with Kurt Angle. After last night though, he has to thank them for having such a great match. That was last night though, but this is tonight.

Eddie Guerrero of all people interrupts and says he has a problem with La Rocka. He has two little girls at home and they both worship the ground their father walks on. However, he’s found posters of the Rock next to the posters of him. Eddie ripped the Rock poster down because Rock is just a movie star, so Rock calls him a sick psychopathic freak. Rock says Eddie is a movie star as well but doesn’t remember if Eddie was Cheech or Chong.

That’s a sign of jealousy in Eddie’s eyes, because everyone knows he’s a better wrestler than Rock. Eddie brags about his haircut, which Rock describes as Billy Ray Cyrus having sex with a stupid hyena. What does that even mean? Anyway, Eddie wants a match tonight and if he wins, he gets a title shot next week. Rock sings a Latino song and agrees to the match. As Rock is leaving, Brock Lesnar comes out for his match and walks by Rock, his opponent at Summerslam, without even looking at him.

Brock Lesnar vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore cane match. Tommy hammers away with the cane to start but Brock just ends him with a belly to belly on the floor. Back in and Brock drives shoulders to the ribs in the corner but Dreamer nails a low blow. The DDT gets two but Lesnar pops up for the F5 and academic win.

Undertaker comes out with some cane shots for revenge on Lesnar for an attack last week.

Big Show cuts on Shawn in the back and brings up a superkick from a few weeks ago. There’s no NWO to save Shawn now and Michaels agrees that he might not be able to fight now. Show laughs and leaves. Ok then.

Bischoff reminds Brown and Stasiak that they have three minutes.

Shawn Stasiak vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown hammers away to start and gets a few early two counts as Bischoff stands on the stage, checking his watch. Stasiak puts on an armbar and Bischoff rips into him for being boring. He cuts off the time and we get to the point: 3 Minute Warning (Jamal, later known as Umaga, and Rosey, later known as Rosey) debuts and mauls both guys.

HHH gives Shawn a bag and tells him to wear whatever is inside. Shawn looks pleased.

Goldust praises Booker’s performance against Big Show last night at Vengeance. It was like David beating Goliath and Booker is like a king. He gives Booker a Don King wig as the comedy continues.

Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.

Winner gets a future IC Title shot. Booker has bad ribs coming in from his match last night. A quick shoulder drops Benoit and a superkick does it even better. Benoit comes right back with a running elbow to the face for two before a hard whip drops Booker in the corner. Back up and another superkick drops the Canadian but he suplexes his way out of a sleeper.

Booker scores with another elbow to the jaw, followed by a missile dropkick for a close two. The ax kick misses and Benoit goes after the ribs. It’s Rolling Germans time with a bridge getting two. Booker’s spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two more but Benoit sends him face first into an exposed buckle. The Crossface makes Booker tap.

Rating: C+. This is another pairing that it’s really hard to screw up. Booker’s rib injury made the match work well enough as it slowed Booker down to the point where Benoit winning that quickly made sense. This was back when both guys were still young enough to put on good matches and this worked better than most other stuff all night.

Bischoff comes out for commentary on the next match.

Big Show vs. Spike Dudley

I think you know the drill here. The chokeslam ends it in about a minute.

Bischoff tells Show to get a table, but Bubba comes out to save his half brother. That earns him a chokeslam through the table along with Spike for his efforts.

ARE YOU READY? The DX theme comes on and here are HHH and Shawn with the old colors on once again. Shawn talks about the rebels being back and HHH does the Are You Ready bit. They load up the pose and HHH turns on Shawn with a Pedigree. They kept this quick as it only took about four minutes from beginning to end.

HHH is leaving when Smackdown GM Stephanie pulls up. She sends a production guy to tell Bischoff that the competition has arrived.

The Rock vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title but Eddie gets a title shot next week if he wins here. Eddie cranks on a headlock but eats a shoulder for his efforts. Some armdrags set up an armbar from the champion and a big clothesline stops Eddie’s spinning escape. Eddie gets in his first real offense with a belly to back suplex before stomping away in the corner. A slugout almost gives Rock some momentum but he eats an elbow to the jaw.

We hit the chinlock from Guerrero before a dropkick gets a near fall. Off to a figure four headscissors to keep things fresh (more wrestlers could use that lesson) but Eddie gets caught cheating. A dropkick stops another comeback bid and we’re back in the chinlock. Back up and Rock scores with some right hands but the Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup for two. That was sweet as Eddie was coming down before he rolled through. The Frog Splash misses and it’s the spinebuster and a People’s Elbow for the pin.

Rating: C+. I know it wasn’t much but I really liked that counter. I didn’t expect it and the move looked cooler as a result. Guerrero wasn’t quite back to his old self yet and it would take awhile for him to get back into a groove. Rock was on his way out but still had it at this point. Nice match.

Post match Brock runs out and grabs the title. We get a staredown until Lesnar throws the belt down at Rock’s feet.

Bischoff goes up to Stephanie’s limo to mock her. She’s here to teach him a lesson and gets out of the limo. Eric mocks her with some Karate Kid poses as Heyman and Lesnar show up. Stephanie backs down….and leaves with Brock and Heyman, making both of them Smackdown exclusives. Bischoff is STUNNED to end the show. Oh wait we’re making fun of Austin now. Bischoff is SHOCKED to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event helped this but it’s still not a great show. So much stuff felt rushed but at the end of the day, both main events of Summerslam are set (mostly) with Shawn vs. HHH looking like a great emotional feud. The show flying by so fast was annoying, but man alive does this sort of show hold up compared to the modern three hour version.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Bound For Glory 2008
Date: October 12, 2008
Location: Sears Center, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

There are some new faces in TNA at this point and for once we have a young guy as the World Champion. Samoa Joe won the World Title from Angle at Lockdown and is defending it here against…..oh of course it’s Sting. The idea here is Sting and his fellow veterans are tired of the young guys not respecting them and they’re not going to take it anymore. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the history of Chicago and gangsters while showing some of the big stars in old time suits. The Mafia is clearly here but hasn’t been named yet. Most of the big matches get a focus and Christian is currently a free agent in the upcoming stable wars.

Steel Asylum

Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Super Eric

You should know who everyone is here. Super Eric is Eric Young as a superhero and is part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood along with Shark Boy and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian curry company mascot). This is inside a big red cage with a dome on top. There’s a hole in the top of the dome and the first person to climb up and out gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Since there are ten men in the ring, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on.

Everyone goes after everyone to start with the Brotherhood and the Guns taking over early on. Shark Boy gets beaten up in the corner and then Devine gets the same treatment. The abused start fighting now as Sharky stomps on Johnny in the corner. We get a six man suplex with the Brotherhood all getting suplexed at the same time. Naturally they sell way too long for a suplex but that’s what you get in big spots like that.

Petey hooks his Russian legsweep on Dutt but gets pulled down when trying to escape. Curry Man goes up but Shelley makes a save. Alex’s climb goes just as well with Shark Boy leg sweeping him down. Super Eric drops Devine with a neckbreaker off the middle rope before Lethal and Dutt slug it out on the top rope. Curry Man takes Sonjay down with the Tokyo Dangerous backbreaker off the ropes. Lethal hurricanranas Rave off the top and Shelley adds a frog splash for good measure.

Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on both Devine and Dutt at the same time but the Guns stop him from leaving. The Guns take everyone down until Petey nails Shelley with a Canadian Destroyer. Shark Boy hits a double Stunner off the top to plant Shelley and Petey at the same time. The parade of finishers begins and Devine is the last man standing. Dutt gets up to stop his escape attempt though and Curry Man takes everyone down so he can do his dance. Curry almost gets to the exit but Dutt pulls him down. Lethal hammers Dutt in the ribs and climbs out for the win.

Rating: C. These matches are fun but they get really tiring after awhile. You can only see these spots for so long before you want some kind of storytelling or coherence after awhile. The match was entertaining but I’d much rather have like five guys in there at most. It would make things flow so much easier instead of being the mess that it was.

We run down the card.

Cornette is WAY too happy to be at Bound For Glory when newcomer Mick Foley comes in. Jim tries to convince Foley to show up at Impact in Vegas when the Beautiful People come in to complain about M&Ms. Foley gets in some jabs that go way over their heads but they don’t care due to him not being beautiful.

We recap the six person tag. Basically it’s beautiful vs. ugly and not much more.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhino vs. Cute Kip/Beautiful People

This is the Bimbo Brawl and Rhaka Khan is big, strong and horrible. Cute Kip is Billy Gunn. Traci Brooks is guest referee to help deal with the girls. Detroit Tiger Curtis Granderson is at ringside and Kip isn’t happy with him stealing the spotlight. ODB and Love yell at each other to start until ODB slaps her in the chest. Off to Velvet who gets forearmed back into the corner before Rhino comes in to work on her arm.

Kip saves Velvet from a Gore and the guys get in a chase sequence. Velvet tries to slap Rhino again but it’s quickly off to Khan vs. James. Kip is 6’5 and Khan is looking him right in the eye. They both try chokeslams with Kip getting the better of it, only to have Khan grab him below the belt. Angelina comes in for some shouting and is quickly dragged into the corner for a slam from ODB.

Velvet distracts Traci so Kip can nail ODB with a makeup bag to give Love two. Some elbows get ODB out of a Velvet chinlock and it’s off to the guys to speed things up. Rhino takes control with right hands and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. The girls fight on the floor and Rhino blocks the Fameasser with a Gore for the pin.

Rating: D. Well at least the Beautiful People looked good. The wrestling was as bad as you would expect it to be and the guys had to save it more than once. When Billy Gunn is the one making your match look better, it’s clear that you have a problem. They were trying with the Knockouts here but the idea wasn’t quite working yet. The Beautiful People were still relatively new at this point and hadn’t found their groove yet.

Consequences Creed (with the GORGEOUS Lauren) says he debuted a year ago and doesn’t like the way X-Division Champion Sheik Abdul Bashir talks about this country. After he wins the title tonight, the glory will belong to America.

X-Division Title: Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

An Iraq War veteran with horrible leg injuries gets to introduce Creed. Sheik talks trash about him and Creed is livid to start. The champ is sent outside for a big flip dive, followed by Creed getting on the announcers table to scream at the announcers. A high cross body gets two on Bashir but he finally gets in a shot and sends Creed off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and Creed gets tripped down for two and we hit the reverse gutwrench.

Creed fights up but charges into an elbow in the corner. They chop it out until Creed misses a dropkick and crashes onto the mat. The champ hooks a bodyscissors on the mat before switching off to a kind of sleeper. Creed escapes but gets put right back in the sleeper. Back up again and the dropkick knocks Bashir down to put both guys on the mat. Consequences starts his comeback with forearms and a backdrop for two.

A gutbuster gets the same and a superkick drops Bashir. Creed nips up but takes too long getting to the top. Bashir crotches him down and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. A TKO is counters by a rake of Creed’s eyes and a rollup with a handful of rope retains Bashir’s title.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but it’s totally forgettable. There wasn’t all that much to the division at this point but Bashir was a good enough choice for a heel champion. Creed is a guy that looks good on paper but never really has backed it up in the ring. This was ok but I doubt I’ll remember it in about five minutes.

Foley is telling JB a story about the Cell when the Kongtourage (Kong and Raisha Saeed) comes in. They have some demands but Foley recommends a visit from Yerple the Clown. He takes out his phone to call her and the girls leave.

There isn’t much to recap for the Knockouts Title match. Taylor Wilde is champion and there are two challengers.

Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi

One fall to a finish. Wilde, a cute blonde, took the title from the monster Kong as an amateur out of the crowd. Roxxi is now just a girl with short hair and isn’t a voodoo queen anymore. Roxxi and Wilde double team Kong to start before “hitting” a double dropkick to send her out to the floor. Taylor goes after Roxxi and slams her down for two but Kong is back in for the save. Saeed pulls Roxxi to the floor and it’s Kong and Wilde all alone. A victory roll gets two for Taylor but Roxxi comes back in and sends the champ out to the floor.

Kong is livid and goes after Roxxi with some chops to the neck, only to miss a splash in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker drops Kong and a top rope double knee gets two. Roxxi hooks Taylor in a kind of torture rack but Kong kicks both of them down. Kong crushes Roxxi with a cross body for two and the Implant Buster gets the same. Awesome goes up top but Taylor kicks her out to the floor. Roxxi hits a big boot for two on Wilde but walks into a German suplex to keep the title on Taylor.

Rating: D+. I miss Taylor Wilde. The match was nothing special due to not having enough time and could have been on any given Impact. They should have gone with Wilde vs. Kong again here instead of the three way as Roxxi was just there to keep the title on Taylor while protecting Kong. Nothing to see here but I’ve seen worse.

AJ Styles welcomes Foley to TNA but Team 3D comes in and talk trash to Styles. Ray is in flannel so we get ECW and WWE jokes that a lot of the younger fans don’t get. Foley mocks Team 3D for bringing up how many titles they’ve won. Cornette comes in and doesn’t say anything of note. I’m not going to ask about the masks on the wall.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

Beer Money (Roode and Storm, managed by Jacqueline) are defending, this is Monster’s Ball and Steve Mongo McMichael is guest referee. Storm is wearing a hat with two beers attached in a somewhat funny bit. Abyss has a story going on here as he’s been in therapy to stop using weapons. Everyone gangs up on the champions to start before it breaks off into a slow paced brawl. LAX works over Storm in the ring with Hernandez catapulting him into a Homicide clothesline.

Roode comes in to try and save his partner but Hernandez knocks him out to the floor. Homicide hits his flip dive through the ropes, setting up a big plancha from Hernandez. Ray nails Hernandez with a trashcan lid in the aisle as Homicide elbows D-Von in the jaw. It’s fork time and D-Von’s head gets carved up. The monsters finally get involved as Abyss comes in for Shock Treatment on Homicide.

Ray hits Abyss low with a cheese grater before slicing Abyss’ skin open. Ray of course licks the cheese grater because he’s a bit sick. It’s Hernandez back in now but Ray runs him over and nails a splash in the corner. A superplex drops Hernandez and Ray’s delayed cover gets one. Roode comes back in with a Blockbuster and a VERY slow two count. We get our first taste of Matt Morgan who suplexes both champions before loading up Old School on Roode. Storm charges back in so Morgan dives over Roode for a cross body.

D-Von plants Roode but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. He loads up one on Roode as well but Storm distracts him with the bag of tacks. McMichael takes the bag away for no apparent reason so Storm puts on his beer football helmet. He challenges McMichael (a former NFL player) to get in a three point stance. Roode has a football from somewhere and they actually hike it with Steve running Roode over with a clothesline. Homicide covers and MAN ALIVE does Mongo count slow.

The fans want tables but get a huge dive off the top with Morgan taking everyone out in a huge crash. Team 3D singles out Abyss with various trashcan related objects. Ray finds a staple gun to go after Abyss’ cut forehead. Abyss fights back until Team 3D lackey Johnny Devine comes out with a kendo stick to slow the monster down. D-Von and Devine load up a table in front of the stage…and we have lighter fluid. Devine lights it up and a double chokeslam puts Abyss through the table. I believe that was on TNA highlight reels for a long time.

Morgan chases Roode back to ringside but he walks right into a Last Call from Storm. Beer Money celebrates but Hernandez nails them with a kendo stick. Team 3D is nowhere in sight for some reason so Homicide dropkicks both champions down. Storm dives into a sitout powerbomb from Hernandez but Mongo’s slow count means it’s only two. Hernandez plants Roode and Homicide’s top rope splash gets the same. The Gringo Cutter plants Storm but Jacqueline breaks up the count at two because she can’t just go away.

The Carbon Footprint nails Hernandez but Homicide rolls out of the Hellevator. Team 3D crawls out from whatever hole they fell into and call for the tables, only to get blasted by Hernandez. He sets up a table in the ring and pours the tacks on top for good measure. Ray pops back up and the 3D puts Hernandez through the table, but Storm spits beer in D-Von’s face, allowing Roode to steal the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. I liked the match more than I thought I would and it’s definitely a step up over some versions of this match they’ve had over the years. The champions stealing the pin was a good thing and the big men doing crazy high spots worked. McMichael has somehow managed to be useless as both a wrestler and a referee, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. Even Danny Davis had some value.

We recap Booker T. vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles. This is again about respect with Booker representing the old, Styles representing the new and Cage representing the yet to pick a side. Both guys are trying to get Cage to join their side and both say the other is lying to him.

Booker T. vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles

Booker has his wife Sharmell, who is carrying a briefcase. Styles and Cage drop Booker to start before Christian gets two on AJ with a sunset flip. Styles goes to the apron but his springboard is blocked with a knee to the ribs. Booker is back up to kick Christian to the floor so Styles hits a huge springboard moonsault to take the Canadian down. AJ is stunned as well so Booker takes Christian back inside for two.

Some knees to the ribs and a spinning kick get the same for Booker and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a side kick gets two on Christian as AJ really should be back in by now. Booker nails him on the apron and Christian grabs a small package on Mr. T. for two. Christian chops away at Booker and elbows his way out of a Bookend. They clothesline each other down and take their time getting up, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm on Booker.

The drop down into the dropkick puts Booker on the floor but Christian escapes the Styles Clash. He also blocks the moonsault into the reverse DDT but, after knocking Booker off the apron, Styles tries again and the reverse DDT gets two on the Canadian. Now Booker comes back in for a double clothesline and some chops for Styles but the ax kick misses. AJ busts out a cross armbeaker of all things and kicks Christian away when he tries a save.

A headscissors sends Christian into the corner but Booker grabs a Bookend for two on AJ. Booker loses his focus and busts out a Spinaroonie, earning him a forearm from Christian. Christian loads up his own Spinarooni but AJ uses his knee to springboard at Booker. An implant DDT lays out Styles for two and Christian loads up a superplex, only to have AJ slam him down.

The Spiral Tap misses though and Booker comes back with a double ax kick. That’s good for two on both guys so Booker goes up top. Christian crotches him down and runs over AJ for two. Both guys go up to superplex Booker but it’s Christian with a super Unprettier to Styles. Booker nails an ax kick to pin the distracted Cage.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here as it actually felt like a three way instead of the same stuff we see in triple threats over and over. The generations story was a good idea and the Main Event Mafia would be very entertaining in the coming months. That is until they beat it into the ground but we’ll get to that later. I liked the match more than I thought I would so it was a nice surprise.

We recap Angle vs. Jarrett. Angle wanted to face Jeff for respect but Jarrett said no. Kurt brought up Jeff’s daughters after Jeff’s wife passed away and that’s more than enough to get a southern man’s dander up. This is Jeff’s first match in two years after he took a long hiatus to deal with his wife’s cancer. Foley is guest enforcer, which has a story of its own as Angle took offense to Jarrett calling Foley the biggest talent acquisition ever in TNA.

Angle says this isn’t one on one tonight.

Jeff breaks down in tears talking about what’s been going on lately.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Kurt takes him down with ease and laughs at him before holding Jeff on the mat with a headlock. Back up and Jeff scores with an armdrag before putting on a headlock of his own. Angle takes him into the corner but Jeff speeds things up and scores with a dropkick before clotheslining Angle out to the floor. A nice plancha takes Angle down again but Jeff misses a second dive off the apron and hits the barricade.

Back in and Jeff sends him into the ropes for the running crotch shot and we get a strut. Jeff loads it up again but walks into a huge clothesline to put both guys down. We hit the chinlock on Jarrett for a bit before he fights up and gets two off a rollup. Angle nails him with another clothesline before snapping a suplex for a few near falls. Back to the chinlock as the fans are split.

Jeff gets up again but Angle sends him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. He tries one too many though and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Jarrett to nail a quick DDT. They slug it out with Jeff getting the better of it and taking over with some clotheslines. Angle finally busts out the belly to belly for two but the Angle Slam is countered into another DDT for two.

A top rope superplex gets two on Angle and both guys are in trouble. There’s the Figure Four in the middle of the ring and Angle screams in pain. He finally rolls over to the ropes and is ok enough to roll some Germans for a few two counts. There go the straps but Jeff armdrags out of the Slam. He tries a sunset flip but gets caught in the ankle lock to make Jeff scream for a change. Angle keeps teasing him at the ropes so Jeff rolls through instead.

The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt is getting really frustrated. Jeff avoids the moonsault and Jeff is starting to feel it. The referee gets decked and the Stroke plants Angle for two with Foley coming in to count. Foley tries to help the referee and Angle hits Jeff low. Mick tells Kurt he can’t use a chair so Angle blasts him in the head with it. He does the same to Jeff but Foley pulls the referee out at two. Foley busts out Socko to take Angle down and a guitar shot is enough to finally put Kurt away.

Rating: A-. This was REALLY good because they let two professionals do their thing. People forget how good Jarrett really is and when you put him in there with someone like Angle, it’s going to be magic every time. There was not way you could put Angle over here but they did a great job of teasing it all throughout the match. Awesome match and one of the best ever in the series.

We recap Sting vs. Joe. In case you didn’t catch it the first 948 times, it’s about RESPECT.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is defending. We get a video on Sting during his entrance, which lists him as 6’2, even though the tale of the tape said 6’3. They really should have that kind of stuff in sync. Joe’s video doesn’t say much and he’s the heel here because only an idiot would try to turn Sting heel. Joe sends Sting right to the floor to start before nailing the suicide elbow. They head into the crowd with the champion in control and hammering away on Sting.

Joe dives out of a luxury box with a dropkick to Sting in the aisle for a scary visual. They head back down towards the ring with Sting getting in a few shots to take over. Well as much as you can take over in the middle of the crowd. Joe comes back with a running big boot to drop Sting and they finally make it back to ringside. The fans are against Joe as he hits a quick enziguri in the corner.

Sting fights out of the MuscleBuster and hits a tornado DDT (that’s a new one) followed by a top rope splash for two. The champion comes back with his Boston crab into an STF into the Crossface into the Rings of Saturn but Sting gets a boot on the ropes. A powerslam gets two for Joe and frustration is setting in. Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes and loads up the MuscleBuster but has to opt for a fisherman’s buster instead.

Joe pops back up and is like old man please before going off on him with strikes. A Scorpion Death Drop is no sold by Sting and there’s another Stinger Splash. He loads it up again but charges into a release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The fans are getting back into Joe. The champ hammers away on Sting and the veteran can barely get up.

Joe hammers away and tells Sting to come on, so here’s Joe’s mentor Kevin Nash. A DDT plants Sting (and draws some swearing) so he goes to get the bat. Nash takes it away though and the Samoan hammers away. The referee has to dive out of the way and Nash nails Joe with the bat. The Death Drop gives Sting the title. Again.

Rating: C+. Just in case you forgot what Sting winning the World Title at Bound For Glory looked like. The match was getting better at the end but Nash brought it down a bit. I get what they were going for and it worked well enough, but I’m almost always going to want a clean ending over something like this. Somehow Joe hasn’t gotten the title back in six years.

Nash walks out immediately to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show is good though it had some problems. The opening stuff is a cross between messy and forgettable but the last few matches range from good to excellent which is what you want for a big show. Sting getting the title again made me roll my eyes back then and it still does so here. I like the Mafia idea, but was there NO ONE else you could put in that spot? Well not really actually but have him win the title somewhere else so Bound For Glory isn’t hogged so much.

Ratings Comparison

Steel Asylum

Original: C+

Redo: C

Bimbo Brawl

Original: F+

Redo: D

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed

Original: D

Redo: C-

Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi vs. Taylor Wilde

Original: D

Redo: D+

Beer Money Inc. vs. Abyss/Matt Morgan vs. LAX vs. Team 3D

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Booker T. vs. AJ Styles vs. Christian Cage

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: B

Redo: A-

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

Original: C

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Someone other than Sting? Please?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/10/15/boun-for-glory-count-up-2008-sting-wants-respect/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #187
Date: May 3, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s the go home show for Slamboree and even though a lot of stuff changed last week, we’re right back where we were seven days ago. Flair is still insane but is getting to face Piper for control of the company this Sunday, even though both are fired. On top of that we’re getting ready for Page vs. Nash and in theory Nash won’t give away the title if he wins it again. Let’s get to it.

We open with Flair, Anderson and the nurse in a limo and on his way to the arena. There’s a bus next to them full of the mental patients. A guy that looks a lot like Scott Hall is driving.

Video on last week’s two World Title changes.

DJ Ran.

Nitro Girls.

Gorgeous George workout video.

The Nitro Girls have a website.

Video on Flair being insane.

MORE DJ Ran, now with a Nascar driver.

Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Armstrongs

Non-title. Steve and Kidman trade arm holds to get things going before a dropkick sends Steve over to his corner. Both guys tag out and it’s Steve running over Rey with a clothesline. Mysterio comes back with some dropkicks and brings Kidman back in, only to have him sent out to the floor.

That goes nowhere so Kidman comes back in and avoids a charge before taking Steve down with something resembling a Bodog. Rey comes in with a springboard seated senton as everything breaks down. Steve’s powerbomb to Kidman is countered and Kidman puts him on top before launching Rey up for a top rope hurricanrana and the pin.

Rating: D+. The Armstrongs didn’t get to do much here but there was only going to be so much done with a week before a three way Tag Team Title match. Rey and Kidman are a good team but they seem like they’re there to be beaten by a bigger name team and not as a long term thing. Then again most smaller teams usually are.

Post match the Horsemen come in and beat down the champions. Raven and Saturn come out for the save before beating down Kidman and Mysterio. This brings the Horsemen back in to put Raven and Saturn in their holds and stand tall.

Highlight reel of Jackhammers.

The Cat vs. Buff Bagwell

We get the usual insults to the “rednecks” by Miller before he offers Buff the five seconds. Buff poses at him and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Back up and Buff dropkicks him out to the floor and the stalling begins. Miller gets back in and wants a handshake, only to stall even more by standing around.

Some armdrags put Cat down but Onoo gets in a few shots to take over. Not that it lasts long though as Bagwell comes back with a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Onoo block a sunset flip to really put Miller in control. A chinlock doesn’t last long but Miller rakes the eyes to stop Buff again. Bagwell makes a quick comeback and Onoo’s latest interference backfires, allowing Buff to hit the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D-. This felt like it went on forever and the match never got interesting. Bagwell had a nice string of wins going here as he’s getting ready for the US Title match on Sunday. Granted it’s not like a win over Miller means all that much as he’s about as uninteresting as you can be at this point. Really dull match.

Miller yells at Onoo post match.

DJ Ran the third.

Flair and his large company arrive and immediately go to the ring. Ric yells about wanting Sting, Savage, George and Goldberg out here. Before they come out here, he fires Savage and grants himself a World Title match in Charlotte. This brings out Savage and the girls as we go to a break. Back with Savage and Madusa beating up the security that tries to arrest them.

Flair grabs George as the cops come to the ring and arrest Savage. Robinson talks trash and struts but George breaks free and slaps him down. The nurse chokes George out as Flair insults Goldberg and Sting. This brings out Sting to punch Ric in the face, followed by Goldberg who does the same. Sting and Goldberg brawl, beat up security and brawl some more until a ton of guards break it up. Somehow this whole thing took over fifteen minutes.

After a break, Flair is talking to Stevie Ray of all people and offers Stevie $100,000 to take Nash out tonight. Ray agrees.

Nitro Girls.

Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

The winner gets Knobbs on Sunday for the title King of Hardcore. Wasn’t Bigelow the King already? They throw weapons in before the match and trade trashcan shots to start before Bigelow nails him with a pair of lids. A mop to Hak’s face sets up the required Surge container shot. Bigelow puts him into a ladder and through two tables but Hak hits a quick bulldog onto a ladder and actually works the leg a bit. We take a break because this match needs to keep going for some reason. Bigelow superplexes Hak through two tables as Knobbs comes in with a trashcan to beat on both guys and the match is thrown out.

Rating: F. Am I to understand that a hardcore match just ended in either a doublt DQ or a no contest? I had to sit through another of these messes and now I’m probably going to have to sit through a triple threat match on Sunday? Horrible non-match with nothing redeeming whatsoever. Well maybe the Surge was good.

Ray tells the Black and White that Flair gave him $50,000 to take out Nash. The mental patient AAA was in the bathroom because….I really don’t think I want to know why.

Video on Piper.

AAA warns Nash about the Black and White’s plans.

Konnan vs. Horace Hogan

Konnan threatens the Black and White with unidentified backup. Horace gets dropped with a bulldog to start and they head to the floor for some brawling. Back in and Horace takes over with a few clotheslines and puts on a chinlock. A big boot and splash get two for Horace before we’re back to the chinlock. Horace goes up and dives into a boot, setting up Konnan’s usual offense. The Sunrise goes on but the Black and White runs in for the DQ.

Kevin Nash runs out for the save and cleans house with Konnan. So much for them fighting a few months ago.

Some more of Flair’s friends from the hospital are in the production truck.

Flair, Anderson and Robinson are in the back when David Flair and Samantha come in. Ric thanks his son for helping him and puts him in the main event tonight. David is happy and leaves with Samantha but Ric is smiling. He tells Robinson to book David vs. Meng and also wants Robinson to tell Meng that David thinks Meng can’t go in the ring anymore. Anderson shakes his head.

Piper arrives in a limo because WCW doesn’t understand wrestling fans. He charges into Flair’s office and beats him up as cops come in for the save. Piper slaps one of them as well and puts a Reality Check shirt on Flair.

After a break, Flair sends Scott Steiner after Nash.

More DJ Ran and Nitro Girls.

We go to a press conference with Lex Luger and Liz but the signal goes out before anything can be said.

Scott Steiner asks Mysterio where Nash is. Rey points him to a dressing room and Steiner goes in, only to get beaten down by Buff Bagwell. That might be the worst segment I have ever seen on so many levels.

DJ Ran and the Nitro Girls, maybe two minutes after the previous time.

David Flair vs. Meng

Samantha has officially been named Torrie for no apparent reason. No that it matters as David sends her to the back, making this match far less appealing. Flair tries some chops and gets about as far as you would expect. A big headbutt puts him on the floor but Meng throws him back in so he can no sell even more of David’s offense. Meng actually does sell a few shots to the ribs but he rakes David’s back to slow him down again. A suplex sets up the Tongan Death Grip to mercifully end this quick.

Ric comes out and laughs at David as he’s taken out on a stretcher. He tells his son to never try to get rid of him again.

Video on Diamond Dallas Page.

Gorgeous George workout video again.

Here’s DDP with something to say. It’s his standard promo now: he’s come a long way, he doesn’t care what the people think, he’s old but new while Flair is old and old.

Nitro Girls AGAIN.

TV Title: Curt Hennig vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending in this rematch from Thunder. Hennig takes him down with a shoulder and busts out a cartwheel of all things. The champ’s throat gets snapped across the top rope and Hennig starts on the leg by wrapping it around the post. This brings out Stevie Ray but he misses the slap jack shot. Rick Steiner comes out and attacks Booker for the DQ.

Cops are told to go get the inmates.

WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is defending and Robinson is referee. Feeling out process to start with Page shoving Flair into the corner and stomping away. Some choking has Flair in trouble but he comes back with chops and right hands in the corner. A hiptoss sends the champ out to the floor and Ric chops away against the barricade. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Flair chops him up the aisle.

What looked like a low blow gets Page out of trouble and they head back inside. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Flair and we hit the chinlock for a few seconds. Page fires off elbows to the head in the corner but Ric snapmares him down and drops a knee for two. More choking lets Page send Flair out to the floor. Back in and Flair gets slammed off the top for another near fall and there’s a Figure Four on Flair. Robinson is freaking out but he and Ric start whispering to each other.

Ric finally makes a rope but Page puts it right back on. You don’t see that too often. Flair lifts Page’s leg off of his to break the hold, which you don’t see that often either. Back up and Page’s discus lariat gets two before we hit the chinlock. Flair pops up and elbows Page in the jaw before going up. Oh come on Flair you would think……HE ACTUALLY HIT THE AX HANDLE! Savage and George come to the ring as Flair hooks the Figure Four. Robinson goes after George as Savage slips Page a foreign object for a shot to the head. Another referee comes out to count the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but it was a bit too messy. It also didn’t help that we had a heel vs. a heel in a city where one of the heel was going to be a face but the heel that is a face has been acting especially heelish all night long. To be fair though there were so many other problems with this show that this was bearable.

Overall Rating: F. Other than Gorgeous George’s outfit, this was one of the most worthless shows I can remember in a very long time. Without the awesome cruiserweight matches or Page and Sting stealing the show, this is a bunch of stories starting and stopping in one night (we can also add another entry to the list of World Title matches with no hype) with either no logic or continuity.

Then you have the pay per view coming up. Flair was attacked by Piper and never mentioned it. You would think Page was defending against Flair and Nash was facing Stevie Ray on Sunday. Page getting another title win is fine but at least have him be on camera with Nash instead of having Flair try to take Nash out, which Nash didn’t address either. You had Steiner and the Black and White trying to take out Nash, which was used to build up Bagwell vs. Steiner and Konnan vs. Ray. That’s good, but Nash doesn’t have a single word for Flair? That’s the other problem: why wasn’t Page doing that?

Finally, what was up with Flair? He was supposed to be insane but he still seems perfectly rational and had two plans tonight (hiring people to go after Nash and the stuff with David) plus wrestled like he has for years. The story seemed like a way to get us to Piper vs. Flair, which is happening in 1999 because WCW thinks that’s enough to combat whatever Raw was running at this point. By the way, this show was up against a main event of Steve Austin vs. The Rock. Maybe they were lucky this disaster happened this week.

There was no thinking put into this show and it really showed. They kind of put the focus on Slamboree but it felt like the TV show was the much bigger priority here. There’s a thought to that, but when the TV show is a disaster like this with everything going all over the place, the strategy doesn’t work. It was a mess this week and Slamboree looks ok at best.

One last note: Nitro is preempted on May 10 by the NBA Playoffs so there won’t be another Nitro review up for two weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Today is the French Tickler himself Rene Dupree.

Dupree started in his father’s Grand Prix Wrestling promotion in Montreal back in 1997. We’ll look at this match from some point in 1998, meaning Renee is about 14 years old.

Rene Dupree vs. Gary Williams

Williams is billed as the Wildman. The footage is REALLY bad here and looks like fan cam footage at best. Dupree seems to be the face here which makes sense given that it’s his dad’s promotion. Williams complains of a hair pull to start and they fight over a top wristlock with no one getting anywhere. After killing off a few seconds with that, Rene slams Gary’s head onto the mat, sending him out to the floor for a breather.

Back in and Williams runs him over a few times, only to eat a nice dropkick, knocking Gary back to the floor. A suplex brings Gary back in and sends him rolling outside again as the stalling continues. Inside again with Williams taking over and hitting the running crotch attack to the back. We hit the chinlock on Dupree for a few moments before Williams hammers away in the corner.

Dupree finally blocks a ram into a buckle but walks into a clothesline. A legdrop gets two for Gary and we’re back to the chinlock. Back up and another clothesline gets two on Rene before Williams throws him out to the floor. Gary gets two off a suplex and it’s off to another chinlock. Rene fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. It’s Dupree up first and hammering away in the corner but getting shoved down for two.

Gary throws him outside for about the third time and for once follows him out for some brawling. Williams sends Rene into the barricade before nailing a swinging neckbreaker back inside. Rene comes back with a powerslam for two and a Russian legsweep gets the same. A side slam plants Rene for the pin but he gets his foot on the ropes. The referee catches it just late enough that Williams thinks he’s won, allowing Rene to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m giving this a break as both guys were rookies at this point. However, this really needed to be a lot shorter as it felt like it just kept going. The match ran about fifteen minutes and could have had five minutes cut out of it. Neither guy stood out and the match felt like they were filling in a lot of time, which they probably were given their level of experience.

We’ll jump ahead a few years to Rene signing with WWE and becoming part of La Resistance with Sylvan Grenier. Here they are challenging for the Raw Tag Team Titles at Bad Blood 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. RVD/Kane

You can more or less see the ending from here. The heels are Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree in case you didn’t know. To my complete lack of shock and dismay, this is nothing that couldn’t be on Raw. I mean there is nothing to note here at all. This could be at any house show or Raw but on PPV? Really? The heels are both on the floor and Van Dam dives, naturally hitting all three of them. A double flapjack ends this. It couldn’t have come faster.

Rating: D+. Again, WHY IS THIS ON PPV? That’s the problem with the whole first hour here. I could see an argument for the two title matches, but seriously, none of this has been PPV quality. The matches are ok, but that’s the problem: they’re just ok. Nothing at all here is making me want to watch this show at all and it’s never something I’m going to watch again. I just want to get to the end of this show and forget about it.

Here’s a defense at Summerslam 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleyz are challenging and the EVIL foreigners are Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier. Bubba of course comes out with an American flag to hammer in the face status. The whole patriotism thing was a big deal in this feud as the third member of La Resistance, an American named Rob Conway, pretended to be a soldier to sneak up on the Dudleyz. It’s a brawl to start in the aisle with the challengers in full control.

D-Von chokes Dupree with the robe to start before armbarring Grenier down. A slam and a legdrop gets two on Sylvain and it’s off to Bubba for the power brawling. He puts Grenier in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch to make the French guy scream. The Dudleys clear the ring but Grenier gets in a cheap shot to give the champions control on Bubba. A double shoulder puts Bubba down for two as the USA chant starts up.

Back to Dupree for a bearhug, which isn’t often a move you see on a fat man like Bubba. Some headbutts break up hold but Bubba walks into a spinebuster for two. Bubba punches his way over to the hot tag (four minutes into the match) and D-Von cleans house. A rollup gets two on Grenier as everything breaks down. D-Von walks into a double spinebuster for two but it’s What’s Up to Dupree. The 3D lays out Dupree but Grenier makes save. Now a cameraman lays out D-Von with a camera to the head to retain the titles. It’s Rob Conway of course.

Rating: D+. That’s a pretty lame choice for an opener. Not only did the fans not get what they wanted but the match sucked as well. This was a dark time for the tag team division and there was no reason at all for there to be two sets of titles at this point. At the end of the day there wasn’t nearly enough depth and it made for lame matches like this. The Dudleys would get the belts next month.

With the tag division such a mess, the idea was to just throw four teams into one match at Wrestlemania XX.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Booker T/Rob Van Dam

Booker and RVD are defending and this is one fall to a finish. Booker has an AWFUL remix of his song here so hopefully they drop the belts so we don’t have to hear it again. Van Dam and Dupree get us going with Rob monkey flipping him down. Booker comes in with a side kick for two and a hip toss for an interfering Conway. Rene is knocked into the Dudley corner for a tag off to Bubba with the Dudley getting two off a neckbreaker. Booker comes back with a side kick but D-Von tags himself in before the cover. RVD jumps in with a kick to the face of D-Von but there was no tag so it’s Jindrak vs. Booker instead.

Cade and Jindrak take over on Booker in the corner but Rene steals a tag to take over. This match needs to end already. We’re four minutes in and I’m already bored. Conway hooks a bow and arrow hold which goes on WAY longer than needed. Booker fights out with a spinebuster for no cover but it’s not hot tag to RVD. Everything breaks down but D-Von breaks up the Five Star. It’s Booker vs. D-Von but Cade breaks up 3D. The scissors kick and Five Star are enough to pin Conway and retain the titles.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu what a waste of my time. No one card about this match because the tag division was so dead at this point that almost every team was just thrown together. Since this is Wrestlemania though, there’s ANOTHER four way tag match later tonight. Nothing to see here and the match sucked on all levels. Let’s get on to ANYTHING else.

Dupree would get a singles run and feuded with John Cena over the US Title over the summer of 2004. Here they are at Judgment Day 2004.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Surprisingly enough Cena comes out first here. It’s amazing to hear Cena almost universally cheered. Cena rhymes a bit before the match starts and makes fun of the Spurs who had lost to the Lakers in the playoffs recently. To be fair to Dupree, he’s 20 here and was a champion at 19 which is a WWE record. Cena hammers him down but a boot in the corner stops him for what must have been a good four seconds.

We hit the floor for a bit where Cena hits the post. Again Cena misses a charge and hits the floor which has become a running theme in this match. He can’t get anything going here and Dupree keeps up the offense. Bear hug goes on by Dupree just to reaffirm that he’s evil. I know they’ve happened but how often does a face not named Sammartino use a bear hug?

This eats up awhile until Cena gets a jawbreaker to escape. Cena cranks it up a bit and a sidewalk slam puts Dupree down. Five Knuckle Shuffle misses as Dupree casually rolls out of the way. That makes me chuckle for some reason. Spinebuster sets up the French Tickler (don’t ask) and after a brief comeback Cena walks into a DDT for still no cover. FU is countered into a neckbreaker for two. A few pinning combinations by Cena get two each but the FU out of nowhere ends this.

Rating: C. This was just ok. I don’t think anyone ever bought Dupree as a threat here which hurts things a bit but not horribly. Cena needed a win like this on PPV as he only won the title a month or so earlier. Not a horrible match but really just one of those where it came and went with not many people buying into the hype of it.

Another title shot at Great American Bash 2004.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

This is elimination rules and Cena is champion coming in. Cena fires up the crowd a bit and that’s a LOUD chant for him. He makes gay jokes about Angle in his pre-match rap. Also RVD likes marijuana, Booker used to be GI Bro and Rene Dupree wants to be Cena. This is also a Navy town so Rene is gay right? Booker and RVD go at it as do John and Rene to start us off. This is under tornado rules.

Rob and Booker fight to the floor. I think Rene is the only heel here but I’m not sure on Booker. Off to Rene vs. RVD. Booker is chilling on the floor to avoid getting beaten up which is really smart strategy. Yeah Booker is officially a heel in this. He turned on RVD a few weeks back. See? Cole can be useful at times. Rene hooks a chinlock on RVD to waste some time. Rob fights back and hits a split legged moonsault for two.

Rolling Thunder gets the same. Cena does something for the first time in about four minutes, picking up Rene on the floor, only to get flipped onto by RVD. Cena vs. Rob in the ring now and they exchange near falls. RVD slides to the floor and tells Booker to get in. They get in an argument so RVD throws Booker in for a beating. Cena slides to the floor and throws Rene in to replace him. Cena and RVD are just kind of chilling on the floor.

Dupree hits a powerslam and does the French Tickler (don’t ask) but walks into a Booker spinebuster. Five Star hits Rene but there’s no cover. Cena goes up and gets kicked off by RVD. Five Star hits Booker this time but Cena rolls in and cradles Van Dam for the first elimination. Booker and Dupree team up on Cena with Booker hitting the side kick for two. Rene got the cover and Booker isn’t thrilled with that.

Cena takes advantage of their argument to beat them both up. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled by this match either. Throwback to Booker and Cena pumps it up. FU (noticeably different than the modern version) puts down Dupree. Booker hits an axe kick on Cena and eliminates Rene. So it’s down to one on one now. Side slam gets two and what appeared to be a fast count. Off to a chinlock to kill some time.

The announcers talk about a mini feud Cena has had with Taker. Today, that’s a Wrestlemania dream match. Here, it’s a two week filler feud. Booker chops away in the corner and gets the Jack Brisco spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. Axe kick misses though and the FU keeps the title on Cena.

Rating: C-. Not bad here, but the problem was in the match structure. With it being elimination rules, it actually made things easier on Cena. Like you saw with Booker and Dupree, you can pretty much just chill on the floor for two eliminations and then get it down to a one on one match. Then again, Cena pinned RVD first anyway so he would have won either way, which again begs the question of why it wasn’t just one fall. That would be because they needed to fill an extra seven minutes.

Here’s a very unique match on Smackdown, August 12, 2004.

Team Cena vs. Team Booker T.

John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Charlie Haas

Booker T., Rene Dupree, Luther Reigns

This is a very interesting idea. It’s called a Summer Relay match. The match is one fall to a finish and it’s going to be Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T. to start. They’ll wrestle for five minutes (assuming there’s no fall) and then Booker’s team can send in a replacement (due to winning a coin toss) for another five minute period. After those five minutes (ten minutes total), Cena’s team can send in a replacement. After five more minutes (fifteen total), Booker’s team gets to send in a replacement. These five minute periods alternate until someone gets a fall. To my knowledge, this is the only time this gimmick was ever used.

Cena has a rap about his team before the match and hits on Jackie Gayda a bit. It’s Rob Van Dam vs. Booker to get things going and the clock begins. Booker takes over in the corner to start and chops away before hitting a bad looking hot shot. A hook kick to the face gets two on Rob and we hit the arm hold. Some chops in the corner have Rob in even more trouble but he comes back with a hard kick to the face. Rob nails some more kicks for two before kicking Booker in the jaw again. He heads up top and connects with the Five Star but stays down too long, allowing the clock to run out.

Luther Reigns comes in next as another five minute period begins. He hammers on the downed Van Dam and we take a break. Back with a minute left in the period and Rob coming back with some right hands. A springboard kick to the jaw sets up Rolling Thunder but the delayed cover only gets two. Reigns nails a spinebuster but misses a knee drop as the period ends and Charlie Haas comes in.

Charlie goes after the leg and puts on a kind of Indian Deathlock to take over. He cranks on the knee even more but Luther fights up and hits a release butterfly suplex. A big belly to back suplex gets two for Luther and we take a break. Back with Dupree getting two on Haas before chopping away in the corner. Rene goes up but gets armdragged down to put both guys on the mat. A good looking series of Rolling Germans get some two counts for Charlie as frustration is setting in.

Booker gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Dupree puts on an STF (Cena hadn’t started using it yet) until the period ends. It’s Cena coming in but he checks on Charlie before going after Dupree. Cena hammers away but gets caught by a neckbreaker for two. Off to a camel clutch on John for a minute or so before Cena comes back with a kind of cutter to escape. A big clothesline puts Dupree down but he plants Cena with a spinebuster. It’s time for the French Tickler (a stupid dance) but Cena avoids the punch and grabs a flapjack. There’s the Shuffle but Rene grabs the ropes to counter the FU.

Booker comes in for the showdown with Cena as they’re about to start a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. It’s Booker in early control and he does You Can’t See Me before dropping a knee for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Cena avoids a side kick, sending Booker out to the floor. Van Dam gets in a few shots (Tazz: “That’s not kosher!”) before Booker is sent back inside for a rollup and the pin by Cena.

Rating: C. Well that was…..something. It was basically a series of hot tag sequences which makes for an odd match. I can see why they didn’t go back to the idea as it’s pretty easy to understand but doesn’t work for a match concept. This wasn’t a disaster but it’s pretty clear why we never saw it again.

Rene would be paired with Kenzo Suzuki and win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles in late 2004. Here they are defending at No Mercy 2004.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Kenzo Suzuki/Rene Dupree vs. Rob Van Dam/Rey Mysterio

I vaguely remember Suzuki and Dupree as champions. My guess is that there’s a reason I don’t remember more. I know I remember thinking Kenzo bored me to death. Kenzo tries to sing Born in the USA pre match. Rob and Rene start us off. A quick powerbomb attempt is countered into a pin attempt by Rob and we get a standoff. Rey tags himself in and the challengers speed things up, resulting in a dropkick by Rey for two.

Suzuki comes in. Cole refers to him by his nickname of the bronze warrior, causing Tazz to say “Do you think he aspires to be a golden warrior?” Well at least it wasn’t about pigeons. The champs are both sent to the floor and the challengers hit stereo dives. Cole: “Only on Smackdown!” Except when it’s on PPV right Cole? Rob vs. Kenzo in the ring now but Rob is quickly send to the floor as Rene pushed him off the top.

We hear about Kenzo winning the Young Lions Cup and it’s back to Rene for a neck crank. A knee drop by Kenzo gets two. There’s the hot tag to Rey (minus the hot part) who cleans house and destroys Kenzo. Seated senton gets two. Rene breaks up the 619 but Rob breaks up a powerbomb. Rolling Thunder takes out Dupree and now the 619 connects. Dupree breaks up the West Coast Pop though, only to get taken out by Van Dam. Kenzo cradles Mysterio and grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t horrible but you could really see that the tag titles were in shambles at this point. To be fair they had been for years so that’s hardly breaking news, but you get the idea. Not much of a match but it didn’t suck, which is really all you can ask for from these thrown together matches.

We’ll jump ahead a few months to Sunday Night Heat, August 14, 2005.

Rene Dupree vs. Matt Striker

Striker doesn’t mean anything yet and Rene is an EVIL Frenchman with the mustache to prove it. Matt gets shoved down to start but grabs a quick rollup for two before doing Rene’s French Tickler dance. A big clothesline drops Rene and he stomps Matt on the mat to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a falling headbutt gets two for Dupree. He throws Matt out to the floor before taking it back inside for another chinlock. Striker fights up and nails a slam followed by a high cross body for two. Dupree punches him out of the air though and nails a cobra clutch slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a somewhat lengthy squash here without much to it. Dupree just didn’t do it for me at this point and I think WWE was starting to give up on him as well. On the other hand you have Striker, who never quite worked as a wrestler either. He doesn’t have the look for it and it’s hard to get behind someone that small without anything interesting about him.

Dupree would go to the new ECW and appeare on the September 12, 2006 show.

Rene Dupree vs. Balls Mahoney

Dupree jumps him to start but Balls comes back with the signature punches in the corner. A charge hits the post for Mahoney though and a bottom rope splash gets two for Rene. Taz: “That’s extreme?” A middle rope elbow gets the same and I can’t believe I’m watching this on ECW.

I get the idea that they’re going with to have Dupree as a heel in ECW, but it doesn’t change the fact that we’ve had guys like Shannon Moore, Mike Knox and Rene Dupree on this show. Mahoney snaps off the Nutcracker Sweet (sitout spinebuster) for two and they head to the floor. Balls gets a chair but Thorn kicks him into the steps, giving Dupree the pin.

Rating: D. Like I said, at the end of the day you can only get so into a match about Rene Dupree. Mahoney is one of the holdovers from the original ECW who at least looks like he belongs on a show about Extreme wrestling. This wasn’t good by almost any standard but it set up Thorn vs. Mahoney which is less dull than this was.

Dupree would head to Japan soon after this and appeared for the Hustle promotion on September 22, 2007.

Wataru Sakata vs. Rene Dupree

They chop it out to start until Rene nails a running clothesline to take over. A discus punch sends Sakata into the corner and Rene hammers away. Wataru kicks him off the top rope and nails another kick to send Rene HARD into the barricade, busting him open. Dupree can barely stand up but comes back with a right hand to stagger Sakata. He can’t nail a powerbomb though and Wataru nails a piledriver for two.

We hit the chinlock on Rene followed by some kicks to the back. Sakata takes off a turnbuckle pad and sends Rene face first into the post. A release overhead belly to belly sends Rene flying but he’s able to pop up and crotch Sakata with a dropkick. Wataru is still able to break up a superplex and gets two off a top rope double stomp. A quick BK Bomb gets two for Rene but he gets kicked in the ribs and caught in an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Sakata chokes him out for the win.

Rating: B-. I was totally buying into the story near the end here with Rene busted open and injured and having to survive everything Sakata threw at him. I had no idea what was going on with the story or who the characters were but they were able to tell a story with their actions. That’s really impressive stuff and what people mean by wrestling being an art form.

We’ll jump ahead a few years with Rene wrestling for the Wrestle-1 promotion on September 22, 2013.

Rene Dupree vs. Tajiri

They take each other into the corner to start and it’s actually a clean break. Rene gets him on the mat but Tajiri spins out and cranks on the arm. Back up and we get a test of strength until Tajiri takes him down in a top wristlock. We get some nice mat work with a nice series of counters with both guys trying to control the arm. Rene gets two off a shoulder block and we hit the headlock on Tajiri. Some armdrags send Dupree out to the floor and things slow way down.

Back in and Rene offers a handshake while crossing his heart that he won’t cheat. Naturally he dropkicks Tajiri before hitting a cartwheel elbow in the corner. Rene takes him down with an abdominal stretch on the mat before going to a regular chinlock. Dupree goes up top but gets kicked in the head. We get to the series of Tajiri kicks with a big superkick getting two. A quick brainbuster gets two for Dupree but he makes the mistake of charging into the Tarantula. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to give Tajiri the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here with both guys having a different style and making it work. The technical stuff was a nice thing to see at the beginning before they got into the faster paced back and forth stuff. Tajiri’s kicks were crisp as always and that Buzzsaw Kicks looked lethal. I’ve always liked Tajiri and he still looked good here.

We’ll wrap it up with Rene appearing at One Night Only: Global Impact Japan for TNA.

Keiji Mutoh/Rob Terry/Taiyo Kea vs. Masayuki Kono/Rene Dupree/Samoa Joe

Joe’s team gets the jobber treatment and Mutoh might retire if he loses. Joe and Kea get things going with Joe hammering away in the corner, only to have Kea no sell most of the shots. A big boot has little effect on Joe and an elbow to Kea’s jaw has the same result. Off to Terry vs. Dupree for a posedown before Renee dropkicks Terry’s knee out. Kono comes in to try a double suplex but Terry suplexes both of them at the same time.

Mutoh gets the tag for the power drive elbow before putting Kono in an STF. Back to Kea for chops followed by Terry for some cranking on the arm. Mutoh puts on a sleeper but Dupree gets in a cheap shot. Joe glares at his partner for the cheap shot and does the same thing to Kono, even going so far as to save Mutoh. Apparently he’s fine with backsplashing Mutoh for two and putting on the Koquina Clutch but everything breaks down.

Things settle down and Mutoh mostly misses a dropkick to Joe and the tag brings in Kea. A Russian legsweep gets two on Joe but he comes back with a powerslam. Off to Kono who gets caught in something resmbling a running DDT. Terry gets the tag and gets the crowd to clap a lot before hitting a slow motion Jackhammer. Kea rolls away and tags in Dupree who is quickly backdropped down.

Muta comes in and takes out everyone with dragon screw legwhips before putting Renee in a Figure Four. Kono makes a save so Muta hits Dupree with a Shining Wizard but everything breaks down. Members of the Desperadoes stable comes in to attack Mutoh but Joe won’t help them. He takes a chair from Dupree and headbutts him before walking out, allowing Mutoh to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin on Dupree.

Rating: D+. Well you knew Mutoh wasn’t jobbing here. This match was a big mess though with Joe wanting to do the right thing or whatever it was while all of the people interfered (and Tenay just expected us to know who they were because EVERYONE follows a year old Japanese promotion). This felt like “let’s all love Mutoh” and while he deserves respect, I don’t care for matches that turn into stuff like this. It wasn’t terrible or anything and the story made good sense, but it was messy.

Rene Dupree is a guy who had a great look and was decent in the ring but his appeal never made sense. He’s not bad or anything and he’s impressive given how young he was when he started, but he never did anything for me. His WWE stuff wasn’t great but he seems to have become a much bigger deal in Japan. Dupree is talented, but he doesn’t stand out all that well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: April 29, 1999
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

The question coming out of Monday is will anything that happens tonight actually mean anything. Nitro saw two World Title changes resulting in Diamond Dallas Page winning and losing the title on the same show. We’re still on the way to Slamboree with Nash vs. Page for the title and Flair vs. Piper (both of whom may be fired) for control of the company. Let’s get to it.

After the opening sequence, we get some clips of Flair in the hospital on Monday. Thankfully Scott Hall’s bizarre cameo is omitted.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Curt Hennig

Curt is challenging. Booker shoves him into the corner to start as the announcers talk about the second World Title change on Monday. A hiptoss sends Curt out to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Hennig hammering Booker down and kicking him in the ribs. They switch to boxing for a bit until Booker nails him with a forearm to the head for two.

Some right hands in the corner have Booker in trouble but Curt steps forward for a hot shot into the buckle. A low blow has Booker in even more trouble and Curt chops away in the corner. Curt puts on a sleeper for a good while before hitting a piledriver for two. Booker pops back up and hits the super, ax and side kicks. He goes up for the missile dropkick but Stevie Ray comes in with the slapjack to Hennig for the DQ.

Rating: D+. That sleeper just crippled anything the match had going for it. This Booker vs. Stevie stuff isn’t the most interesting story in the world but maybe they’ll actually have a match as a result unlike Rick and Scott. Hennig was coming back from an injury here and he didn’t look like his usual self.

Hotline plug

The Nitro Girls are getting their own site.

Video on Nash.

Here are Hak and Chastity with something to say. Hak talks about how awesome his hardcore matches have been and calls the three way with Bigelow and Raven the most extreme match ever. Chastity gets to pick his opponent for tonight and the schoolgirl chick selects Kevin Nash. Great. The hardcore mess is invading the main event.

Booker and Rick Steiner are fighting backstage. Why WCW thinks anyone cares about Rick Steiner in 1999 is beyond me.

WCW will be on QVC soon.

Video on Goldberg.

Here’s Buff…..dressed like Scott Steiner. Oh this could be good. Tenay: “I would say that’s a Buff Bagwell imitation of Big Papa Pump.” You can’t buy analysis like this people! Buff talks about partying at Penn State and how much it made him realize Michigan really sucks. He’s nailing the screech in Steiner’s voice. Buff tells us to close our eyes and picture the Big Bad Doodoo Daddy.

He was at Motel 6 watching BET last night to find more lines to steal and came up with this one: “I’m not a player. I’m just on parole a lot.” If Bagwell wants a US Title shot at Slamboree, that’s what Buff is going to get. He’ll show Bagwell that there’s no bigger liar than Scott Steiner. Flush him if you hear him. This really wasn’t as funny as it could have been but the voice was awesome.

Jerry Flynn vs. Stevie Ray

Ray hammers on him in the corner to start but gets caught by some kicks. Jerry catches one of Stevie’s kicks and turns it into an ankle lock. That goes nowhere so Jerry tries an armdrag into a cross armbreaker. Vincent offers a distraction and Horace comes in to break it up because the Black and White are a bunch of inept morons. After a beatdown on the floor, Stevie slams him down and drops a leg for two. Jerry pops up and nails a spinkick, only to get distracted by Horace so Ray can hit a bad looking Slapjack for the pin.

Rating: D-. Does anyone else find it sad that the Wolfpac is basically done but we have the Black and White stooges around, taking the whole group to beat up Jerry Flynn? Stevie just isn’t any good in the ring and it’s showing here. He’s one of those wrestlers whose offense consists of forearms to the back and a lot of shouting. Granted that’s better than Flynn who can’t even talk.

Hardcore Hak vs. Kevin Nash

Hak loads up a ladder and table before Nash’s music hits. He charges at Nash to start but Big Kev grabs a kendo stick to send Hak into the corner. Nash picks him up for a suplex onto the ladder before driving it into Hak’s ribs over and over. The table is set up in the corner but Hak reverses a whip to send Kev through it.

Some kendo stick shots put Nash down and puts the ladder on top of him for the slingshot legdrop. Nash is sent hands first into the ladder but he grabs the stick to blast Hak in the ribs. He can’t follow up though and Hak nails him a few more times to put Nash back down. A top rope swanton onto the ladder onto Nash gets two. Chastity comes in with a fire extinguisher but Nash takes it away and blasts Hak. The Jackknife through the table is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a few steps ahead of the usual hardcore stuff and it’s mainly due to having less weapons than the other matches. There were only a few in this one as opposed to the dozen or so that we usually get. It also helped that there was some actual wrestling in between the spots instead of weapon shot after weapon shot. It’s still bad but it at least resembled a match.

Bam Bam Bigelow comes out and wants to keep Hardcore Night going by getting a shot at the World Title. He issues the challenge to Page “from one homey to another.” Sure why not.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Goldberg vs. Meng

We get a very loud Goldberg chant out of nowhere. That’s as obvious of a piped in chant as I’ve ever heard. They trade slams to start and Meng bails to the outside. Back in and Meng rakes the eyes to take over before planting Goldberg with a backbreaker for two. Goldberg pops up with a kick to the face and a powerslam of his own, only to get his eyes raked again. Meng hammers away with various chops, kicks and punches before superkicking Goldberg down for two. More punches have very little effect and Goldberg pops up with a superkick, setting up the spear and Jackhammer for the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically a longer version of the standarg Goldberg match. He had to try a bit here but Meng has gone from unstoppable killing machine to standard power heel. They did such a great job of setting him up as a one off challenger last year but now this is the best we can get. It’s a sign of the times for WCW.

Page comes out to talk about what happened on Monday and thanks people like the Masked Assassin, Jake Roberts and Dusty Rhodes for helping him out. He doesn’t think much of the fans though and tells those who got on the bandwagon to “no not suck it. Jump off!” We get some good old fashioned cheap heat when Page asks what town we’re in. He’ll give Bigelow the shot tonight, even though the fans don’t deserve it.

QVC promo.

Slamboree ad.

Randy Savage vs. Disciple

Savage has Miss Madness, Madusa and Gorgeous George with him here. Why he’s playing a face here after helping the heel Page out on Monday isn’t clear. Randy grabs an armbar to start before they shove each other around a lot. Disciple gets taken down and chinlocked before it’s back to the armbar, followed by another chinlock for a change of pace. Choking ensues and Savage drills him with an elbow to the jaw for two.

Disciple fights back with his wide range of punches, kicks and choking before dropping an elbow for two. We hit a chinlock on Savage as this isn’t quite the same level I’m used two with Macho. More punching and choking from Disciple before Savage throws him to the floor out of boredom. Savage is sent into the barricade and Disciple puts on the sleeper on the floor. Madusa makes a save and sends Disciple into the post before Savage sends him back in for the big elbow and the pin.

Rating: D-. Of all the people on WCW’s roster for Savage’s first real match back, they pick Disciple? The match was horrible and most of it was due to Savage having nothing to work with. Disciple’s entire offense was built around punching and choking which really doesn’t make for a well done match. Also, Savage needed help from the girls to beat the Disciple? Really?

WCW World Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hardcore and Page is defending of course. Page slugs away to start but gets knocked out to the floor with a big right hand. Back in and Bigelow drops him throat first across the top rope, sending Page back outside for another breather. It’s time to bring in some weapons but Page dives over the top to take Bigelow back.

We take a break and come back with Bigelow knocking him down the aisle before taking Page over to the announcers’ table. He loads up a regular table but Page rolls away, sending Bigelow crashing down onto the concrete. Page sends him into the barricade a few times and they come back towards the ring with the champion in control. More weapons are brought in though and a trashcan to Page’s back gets two on the floor.

They head back inside for the top rope headbutt from Bam Bam but Page is up at two. A side slam gets the same but Page comes back with a discus lariat for a near fall of his own. The floatover DDT drops Bigelow but the referee gets bumped. Bigelow gets two off a suplex but Page low blows him for the same. Greetings From Asbury Park is countered into the Diamond Cutter….and Savage comes out to drop a big elbow on Bigelow for good measure. Page gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t see the need for this to be a hardcore match. The Savage thing didn’t need to be there as Bigelow was out cold before Macho came out. I like Page winning matches on TV, but he needs to do something different in the ring as he’s basically having the same matches he was before save for the occasional low blow.

Overall Rating: D+. This show tried for a change and I’m sure it has nothing to do with WWF having a pilot for some show called Smackdown at the same time. It was another show that didn’t need to exist, but I definitely prefer a show with a bunch of people I kind of care about over a show with a bunch of people I barely recognize. The hardcore matches for the guys in the main event were annoying but bareable, which is more than I can usually say for this show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Nitro #186
Date: April 26, 1999
Location: Fargodome, Fargo, North Dakota
Attendance: 11,482
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

Things are shaking up with less than two weeks to go before Slamboree. The two people in the upcoming World Title match have flipped sides and allegedly Flair has flipped his lid, even though he really hasn’t done much to back that up. I have a bad feeling about some of the stuff we’re going to have to sit through tonight. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Rick Rude, which they actually spell using his real name.

We open with a recap of the major points of last week’s show with a focus on the Piper/Flair stuff and the ending with what I guess you would call a double turn.

Now we’re at the mental hospital and this can’t end well. A doctor and nurse have the most painfully scripted conversation you can imagine, talking about how Flair is treating this place like a hotel. The nurse tells the patients that there will be no Nitro tonight when Flair’s music comes on. He struts in wearing his robe and University of Florida boxers, talking about how this is his hotel. Flair watches the TV, meaning he’s watching himself in theory. He dances with the nurse who eventually walks away disgusted. I can’t say I disagree.

Opening sequence.

JJ Dillon is with Charles Robinson and says that Robinson is Vice President of WCW. Since Flair is out of action, Robinson is in charge and above the Commissioner. This is going to be a LONG night.

Nitro Girls.

Tenay is filling in for a sick Heenan. He and Tony are fine after weeks of bickering before the announce teams were split.

Here’s Piper to get things going in the arena. Piper thinks he’s in charge now with Flair gone so Randy Savage is reinstated and getting a US Title shot tonight. He mentions Page which brings out the champion to a loud chorus of boos. Piper wants Page to defend against Sting tonight but Page doesn’t seem to thrilled with the idea. Roddy goes to leave and then makes the match for 9pm sharp.

DJ Ran.

Konnan vs. Brian Adams

This is fallout from the Black and White attacking Konnan last week. After some catchphrases, Konnan quickly takes Adams into the corner for ten punches, only to get caught by an atomic drop and clothesline. An elbow to the back of the head has Konnan in trouble and a gorilla press gutbuster gets two. We hit a bad looking reverse chinlock on Konnan. Dude at least crank on it or flex a bit. Adams crotches himself while trying to jump on Konnan’s back but stops the comeback with a powerslam. Konnan comes right back with the usual and hooks the Sunrise but the NWO runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. What else were you expecting from something like this? Neither guy was exactly a ring general and the moves they were using ranged from sloppy to just bad looking. I guess the Black and White was trying to prove a point but this was a rather dull way to go about it.

Video on Sting.

The announcers talk about Page vs. Sting.

The Horsemen have attacked Kidman and Saturn, making the next match a handicap match.

Scott Armstrong/Steve Armstrong vs. Raven

After ranting about fat women in operas, Raven quickly escapes a double team attempt in the corner and bulldogs the brothers down. It’s already chair time with both Armstrongs taking the drop toehold onto the steel. Steve finally gets in a shot on Raven but winds up hitting his brother a few seconds later. Both guys take ten right hands in the corner but Scott finally nails a superkick to get a breather. The breather is short lived though as his second superkick hits his brother, allowing Raven to DDT Scott for two. Scott pops up and nails Raven with the chair though and actually gets the upset pin.

Rating: D+. This was short and energetic, but was there any real need to have Raven lose here? The Armstrongs are about as low level of a tag team as you can have in this company but they get a pin over a guy getting a title shot in a few weeks? This is more of the odd booking this company has been using lately.

Raven beats up the Armstrongs again post match, making the booking even more head scratching.

Flair calls Robinson to yell about Piper having power. He wants the National Guard called in to deal with this and yells at other patients to stop touching his robe. Flair hangs up and walks off with a very muscular nurse.

We look at the same package that opened the show.

Gene brings out Charles Robinson for a chat. He says that Piper has no authority here but we’ll still get Sting vs. Page tonight. This brings out Piper to call him a leprechaun, causing Robinson to slap him in the face. Security comes down to arrest Piper and Robinson fires him for good measure. The match with Flair is still on at Slamboree of course.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sting

Page is defending. Sting is wearing white wraps on his feet and a necklace of all things. The champion is quickly shoved down to start but he comes back with a big right hand. Sting easily wins a slugout and knocks Page back to the floor for a breather. Back in and Page drives in the shoulders but Sting sends him outside again. This time Sting goes after him and rams Page face first into the announcers’ table.

Back in and the Stinger Splash connects but Page makes the ropes to avoid the Scorpion. Page bails again and gets some water before heading back inside where Sting hammers away. The champ slows things down with a hammerlock and a big clothesline. They head outside and up the aisle with Sting dropping him throat first across the barricade. A slam in the aisle has Page in trouble but the referee reminds Sting that he can only win the title in the ring.

Sting takes him back inside for some right hands in the corner but a low blow and hot shot stops Sting cold. A belly to back suplex drops Sting again but he comes back with the shoulder block and falling low blow. Page is up first though and rakes the paint off Sting’s face. Some slaps fire Sting up again but Page grabs a swinging neckbreaker for two. The champ hits a low blow of his own and chokes away in the corner.

Page wraps the knee around the post but Sting kicks him into the barricade. Now things speed up with Sting’s shots to the face and bulldog followed by the top rope splash for two. They head outside again with Sting being sent into the barricade. Page grabs something like a Diamond Cutter across the top rope but Sting comes back with ten face rams into the buckle and the last one onto the mat.

A sitout powerbomb gets two for the champion and a big lariat drops Sting again. Back up and Sting grabs a piledriver but kneels down like a tombstone for two. Now he tries a regular tombstone and finally plants him for a VERY close two. The fans are totally behind Sting here. Page comes back with a jumping floatover DDT for two more but Sting blocks the Diamond Cutter out of the corner and grabs the Death Drop for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going but the last few minutes of this were awesome. As is almost always the case, there’s no substitute for a long, good match and that’s what we got here. This is actually a bit ahead of the Goldberg match for Page which is quite the accomplishment. Really good stuff here and the best main event style match WCW has had in forever. Also, how nice was it to not have any commercials in this?

More Flair yelling at Robinson with Ric telling him to make Sting vs. Goldberg for Slamboree. One of the inmates is now called AAA.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis

Psychosis is defending for a change. The champ grabs a headlock to start and takes Rey down to the mat, only to miss a Stinger Splash in the corner. Psychosis counters a headscissors by dropping Rey throat first across the top rope. He lifts Rey up for a powerbomb and drops his face onto the top turnbuckle in a vicious looking crash. A reversal suplex drops Rey over the top rope again and a dropkick sends him to the apron.

Psychosis charges at him but they both fall to the floor with Rey taking over for the first time. Rey’s superplex is countered into something like a falcon’s arrow. The Horsemen come out to grab the Tag Team Titles but Rey dives on both of them. Psychosis gets in a cheap shot to take over but Rey comes back with a tornado DDT out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. What in the world was the point of this? Rey is now a five time Cruiserweight Champion and Psychosis’ seven days as champion is the only break from Mysterio, Kidman and Guerrera as champion since August. It’s ok to let someone else in there for a change and I don’t see why Psychosis had to lose the belt this fast. Let him beat a few low level guys to give the division a chance to breathe a bit.

The Horsemen destroy Rey post match.

Nash comes out and says he’s been told his title shot at Slamboree has been turned into Goldberg vs. Sting. That’s not cool with him but he’d like a four way tonight with Page, Goldberg and Sting, winner takes all.

Flair calls Robinson and says make the four way. He hits on the nurse a bit more and they try some amateur wrestling stuff until the nurse from earlier comes up to glare at them.

Erik Watts vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Please make it quick. Thankfully there aren’t any weapons in sight for this one. Bigelow misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a springboard bulldog. Erik tries a hurricanrana but winds up backdropping Bigelow instead. It’s somehow worse than it sounds. Bigelow pops up with a big clothesline followed by the Swan Dive and Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin. At least it was short.

Sting comes out sans belt but with fresh paint. He’s up for a four way tonight.

TV Title: Booker T. vs. Meng

Booker is defending. A hard shoulder puts the champ down but he comes back with a forearm and dropkick. Booker shrugs off some forearms and slams Meng a few times, only to walk into a powerslam for two. That gets Meng nowhere as Booker nails his pair of kicks but the side kick sends Meng into the referee. This brings out Stevie Ray as the ax kick takes out Meng. Booker crotches himself on the ropes after missing another kick. There’s the Tongan Death Grip but Stevie nails Meng with the slap jack, giving Booker the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have enough time to go anywhere but Meng was just there to give Booker someone to beat up to retain the title. The Stevie Ray and Booker T stuff needs to go away. The team is done and Booker is on his way to becoming something big in the singles division. Stevie is just kind of dragging Booker down at this point and that’s not good.

Post match Rick Steiner of all people comes out and beats on Stevie until Booker pulls him off. Booker and Steiner yell at each other, likely setting up Booker’s next challenger.

Video on Nash.

We get a special look at Hogan’s knee surgery. Bischoff had to talk him into getting it done because Hogan wants to beat up Page.

Video on Goldberg.

Back to the hospital where Flair tells Robinson to make Steiner vs. Booker T. for Slamboree and make the main event tonight No DQ. Flair teaches some patient to dance….and here’s Scott Hall in patient clothes to throw a toothpick at Ric. Naturally, no one talks about this or ever brings it up again.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak vs. Horace vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is hardcore and the winner of this gets Bigelow at the PPV. Everyone has a kendo stick and Hak stays on the floor to start. He finally gets in and all three guys beat him down with the sticks. Knobbs brings in a ladder to splash onto Hak for two. We actually take a break in this match and come back to see Horace hitting Knobbs with a Surge barrel.

Brian nails Hak with a ladder but Hak knocks him to the floor. A table is set up on the floor but Knobbs uses the weapons cart on Hak. Back in the ring and Horace kicks Mikey in the face as Knobbs chairs Hak. Mikey drops a leg onto a chair onto Brian’s head as the table has been bridged between the apron and barricade.

The Surge container comes back in and Hak slides in another table. Horace beats on Hak with the weightlifting belt on the floor as Chastity sprays someone with the fire extinguisher. Hak dives over the top but only hits table but pops right up to nail Knobbs with a stick. Not that it matters as Knobbs sends Hak to the floor and drops the ladder on Mikey for the pin.

Rating: F. When half of the people in your match have jobs because of Hulk Hogan, you can tell it’s not going to be much to see. This was the usual hardcore mess with nothing interesting save for some product placement from Surge. These are getting less and less interesting and it’s going to get even worse in the future.

US Title: Randy Savage vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending and has something to say before the match. He doesn’t like a lot of what Piper does but he does like this match with Savage. Randy comes out with an unnamed woman in a gown wearing a sash like a beauty pageant contestant. Steiner wants one more stipulation though: if he wins, he gets to spend some time with George. Robinson is refereeing in most of a suit. They circle each other and do a lot of pointing for a minute or so before finally locking up. Steiner shoves him into Robinson….and that’s a DQ.

Post match the three girls strip Robinson down to his University of Florida boxers, just like Flair.

Video on George training. This is exactly what you would expect.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Sting is defending after having won the title earlier tonight. The match begins after a break with Page off in the crowd, leaving Goldberg and Sting to beat on Nash in the corner. Now it’s Goldberg getting double teamed before the champion has to fight off both monsters. Goldberg suplexes Nash but Sting breaks up the cover. Page is back at ringside as Goldberg has knocked both guys down. A powerslam drops Sting for two as Page still hasn’t come in.

Goldberg loads up the spear but Page breaks it up from the apron and comes in with a neckbreaker for two. Nash DIVES to break up the pin and thankfully there isn’t a quad laying on the mat as a result. Sting gets jumped from behind by Nash but comes back with right hands to the jaw. Goldberg and Page are both down until Page goes to the corner, earning himself a Stinger Splash. The other two get Splashes of their own and Sting is the only man standing.

Nash pops back to his feet and cleans house by booting them all in the face. Goldberg breaks up a Jackknife on Page before choking Page on the mat. He sends Page to the floor but gets taken down by Sting. The champ hammers away on Nash in the corner until Page comes back in with a low blow for the save. Now it’s Goldberg slamming Page but taking a Stinger Splash. Nash keeps trying to steal pins in a smart move.

There’s a side slam to Sting for two and Goldberg superkicks Page down to give Nash the same. Goldberg dives at Page but rams his head into Page’s knee to scramble his brains. Nash chokes Sting in the corner but misses a big boot. He gets caught in the Scorpion but Sting lets go, only to get speared down by Goldberg. The Jackhammer plants Sting but Savage breaks it up for no apparent reason. Savage throws Page some knuckles to knock Nash out before a Diamond Cutter (Nash turned to the side so it was half Cutter and half neckbreaker) gives Page the belt back.

Rating: C+. Dang it’s a good thing Savage joined up with Page. We almost had more than two top good guys in the whole company (I don’t think Piper counts when seemingly no one can stand him). This was energetic with Nash doing more work than I’ve seen him do in years. Page winning the title back is odd but it’s pretty tame given some of the stuff WCW has done in recent weeks.

Page runs through the crowd to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Much like last week, the wrestling is more than good enough to make this a watchable show. However, the stories are so out there that they drags things back down. Basically we’re right back where we were when Nitro came on the air last week, other than Flair being in a mental hospital with Scott Hall. Mysterio has the title back, Page is still champion, and we’re still looking at Page vs. Nash for the title at Slamboree.

That’s why these title changes make me shake my head at WCW. They had an idea that could have drawn a good rating with Page vs. Sting and it makes sense to put it on right when Raw starts. What doesn’t make sense is giving that match about fifty minutes of build. That could have easily headlined a big PPV but instead they decided to give it less than an hour?

If that’s not enough, we have a big gimmick match for the title which also could have headlined a PPV, so it gets about ninety minutes of build and most people probably didn’t hear about it. This impatience is maddening when you could build this stuff up for weeks instead of minutes. They’re pouring away what could be millions of dollars in PPV money for the sake of maybe beating Raw for one night. The fact that this show had a bigger gap than the week before or the week after should have been a hint but WCW never seemed to learn.

Let’s go back to something mentioned earlier: Ric Flair is currently in a mental hospital and happened to run into Scott Hall. Nothing is mentioned of this again, Scott didn’t say a word, and I highly doubt we’ll see Scott again for several months. That’s not something you should be able to just see and walk past, but WCW apparently doesn’t feel the need to address this and thinks we’ll just kind of go along with it. It comes off like a joke and that’s not the kind of thing you should be seeing on national TV in a segment that is stupid already.

Overall this was a good show, but the stupid stuff is REALLY stupid and drags down the rest of the show. This also needs to be an hour less which is standard for almost all wrestling shows. They just do not need to be three hours and the extra hour always hurts things. You make this two hours and have Flair at the arena in a suit instead of being in a hospital and the show is about twice as good.

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Spring Stampede 1999
Date: April 11, 1999
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Attendance: 17,690
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

This is a show that hasn’t had the chance to build up that well as they made the two main events on Monday. The midcard stuff is decent enough but there’s some stuff in the main event that makes me shake my head. There are some matches on this show that pique my interest though which is more than I can say about most WCW shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a generic video of the main event. That doesn’t really fire me up for the show.

The set has a simple entrance but the usual props on the side, such as wagons and hay. I miss that kind of themed stuff.

The announcers intro the show and don’t have much to say.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Blitzkrieg

The ring is now sponsored by Little Cesars. The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot tomorrow night. We actually get a handshake to start as the announcers continue their recent bickering over which pair is better. Juvy cranks on the arm before taking Blitzkrieg down into a sunset flip for two. They stay on the mat for a bit and Blitzkrieg complains of a mask pull. That goes nowhere so he grabs a headlock instead. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Juvy and Blitzkrieg follows up with a handspring elbow in the corner. The spots are actually hitting for a change.

Guerrera is able to send Blitzkrieg face first into the buckle ten straight times as we’re waiting on the dives to begin. Juvy goes first with a springboard missile dropkick and Blitzkrieg bails to the floor. He stands there way too long though, allowing Juvy to nail a huge dive over the top to take him down again. Back in and Juvy puts on a surfboard but Blitzkrieg rolls to the side to break it up.

A running dropkick in the corner sends Juvy outside but he walks away before Blitzkrieg can use the big dive. Instead Blitzkrieg goes around the ring and tries again, only to dive into a dropkick for a nice counter. Back in and Juvy tries a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker of his own but Blitzkrieg rolls out, sending Juvy back to the floor. Blitzkrieg hits a springboard spinning moonsault to take Guerrera down again.

Juvy tries the Juvy Driver but Blitzkrieg flips out and they trade reverse DDT attempts until Juvy takes him down for two. To continue the joke that is Schiavone’s commentary career, after the reverse DDT gets two, Tony says, and I quote, “frustration is setting in for Juvy. He hasn’t tried the Juvy Driver yet. If Blitzkrieg can counter that, frustration will really set in.” This is TEN SECONDS after Tony called Blitzkrieg countering the Juvy Driver. TEN SECONDS!

Anyway Juvy gets slammed off the top but avoids a Phoenix Splash. Juvy still can’t hit the Driver and Blitzkrieg tries something like a top rope victory roll for two. Blitzkrieg tries the same thing again but Juvy counters into a super Juvy Driver for the pin and the title shot. That was a great looking finish.

Rating: B. If this was the Blitzkrieg that I had seen in his WCW run, I would totally understand the love this guy gets. This was an excellent match with both guys nailing everything and having almost no down time in between. Granted I’d assume having Juventud Guerrera for an opponent instead of Super Calo helped him a lot. Great match.

Video on Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. Let’s get this over with.

Hardcore Hak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow brings out a cart full of weapons and drives it into Hak’s ribs to start as the announcers oggle Chastity. They’re already fighting by the set and Hak has a table hidden under the stagecoach. He goes up top on the stagecoach for a swanton through Bigelow through the table for a very good opening spot. Bigelow is up first and nails Hak in the head with part of the board and they head to the ring. Luckily for them, Chastity has a bunch of weapons waiting for them.

Bigelow nails Hak with a crutch followed by something made of metal. Hak bridges a table between the ring and the barricade but takes his sweet time, allowing Bigelow to nail him in the head with a trashcan. There’s a broom to the back but Bigelow can’t suplex him. Unfortunately Hak can’t suplex Bigelow either and his knee buckles. Thankfully he’s ok enough to bring in a ladder as the ring is way too full of weapons.

Something resembling a dropkick sends the ladder into Bigelow. Another swanton onto the ladder onto Bigelow has both guys in trouble as the announcers aren’t sure what to make of this stuff. Here’s yet another table and a piece of barricade to go with it as Bigelow is still down in the corner. There’s also some barbed wire wrapped around another corner. Chastity resets the table between the ring and barricade and Hak goes up, only so Bigelow can throw him throug the table. That was one of the most telegraphed spots I’ve ever seen.

Bigelow sets up a barricade in one corner and a ladder in the other. Hak is sent into the ladder but pops back up, only to crotch himself on the barricade. Bigelow is about to drop the barricade on Hak but has to spray Chastity with a fire extinguisher. The White Russian legsweep has almost no effect on Bigelow, likely because it’s a Russian legsweep. Bigelow takes him up for what was supposed to be a Greetings From Asbury Park (looked more like a Death Valley Driver) through the table for the pin. Isn’t that basically the same finisher from the opener?

Rating: C+. The match was more entertaining for the amount of stuff they used and only one really badly telegraphed spot, but I still don’t care to see any more of this. I really don’t need to see ECW in WCW but that’s what they’re obsessed with at this point. The announcers buried the whole thing and I can’t say I blame them. It was fairly entertaining though.

Scotty Riggs vs. Mikey Whipwreck

I have no idea why this match is happening and I’ll spare you the long list of people that should be on this show more than these two. Riggs is now a narcissist who carries a mirror. Slow start with Scotty offering an armdrag and stopping to talk to the camera. Mikey speeds things up a bit with left hands in the corner and a dropkick. They head outside with Riggs being sent into the barricade before going back inside so Mikey can headscissors him back to the floor.

Back in and Mikey gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade in a painful looking spot. Riggs nails a top rope ax handle but stops for some Rude hip swiveling. We hit the chinlock from Riggs as the fans want Goldberg. Mikey scores with a middle rope dropkick and a hurricanrana for two. They run the ropes and Scotty hits a running forearm for the pin.

Rating: D-. This could have been on any given Thunder and I have no idea why they decided to air it here. Yeah it’s filler but there weren’t two more interesting guys to put out there instead of these guys? Nothing match here and Riggs is still his boring self despite a new gimmick. One thing I’ll give this show so far: the first three matches have all been a different style so there’s a nice variety.

Quick video on Disco vs. Konnan. Disco mocked Konnan’s annoying music video and there’s a match as a result.

Disco Inferno vs. Konnan

Konnan calls him a strawberry (whatever that means) and gets stomped down for his efforts. The fans are all over Disco as he stomps Konnan down and starts to dance even more. Konnan comes back with a dropkick and a bunch of right hands of his own. A Sin Cara style armdrag out of the corner has Disco in trouble but he comes back with a running elbow to the face. We hit the chinlock on Konnan for a few moments, followed by a middle rope elbow for two. This has been one sided so far.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Konnan hiptosses him down, only to miss a charge and fall out to the floor. Disco is sent into the post but kicks the rope as they come back in. For some reason this stuns Konnan and a shaky elbow gets two. We get another chinlock as the announcers are stunned at Disco’s offense. Disco goes up but misses an elbow drop, allowing Konnan to hit the 187 for two. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Inferno but Konnan uses Disco’s own Last Dance for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but Konnan hit about three moves all match. Disco continues to be a guy that can work hard when given the chance and that’s what we got here. I like Konnan using a Stunner far more than the Tequila Sunrise which is just a fancy half crab. This was better than I was expecting.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman

Mysterio is defending and they’re the Tag Team Champions. Rey grabs a test of strength grip and they flip around for a few two counts each. A headscissors puts Kidman down but Kidman comes back with one of his own in a nice sequence. Kidman backdrops the champion out to the floor and hits a bit dive to take him down again. There’s a legdrop on the floor for two back inside as the fans are oddly quiet for this one.

A chinlock doesn’t get Kidman anywhere so they head to the floor with Rey countering a moonsault and headscissoring Kidman into the barricade. Back inside and Rey hits the springboard seated senton (not a Thesz Press Tony!) followed by a Lionsault for two each. Kidman comes back with something like a standing Boss Man Slam for two. The BK Bomb gets the same and Rey is dropkicked to the floor.

There’s the Shooting Star off the apron but they head back inside where Rey dropkicks Kidman out of the air. The fans are still not all that interested. A top rope bulldog (the move that won Rey the title) wakes them up a bit and gets another near fall on Kidman. Rey charges into a powerslam and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey clotheslines him to the floor, setting up a big flip dive to take him down again.

They get back in and we hit another chinlock for a bit before Kidman’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Now it’s Rey holding a chinlock as the fans are clearly bored. Kidman fights up again and hits a sitout Pedigree followed by a sunset bomb for two. Another top rope bulldog gets something resembling a reaction and a two count to go with it. Kidman comes back with Stratusfaction for two but Rey hits a standing moonsault for a two count so fast I thought we had a crooked referee. Kidman counters a powerbomb into a faceplant but Rey crotches him into a top rope hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: C+. This was good but the match had to follow their first match as well as tonight’s opener. They were trying to top what they did a few weeks back and the match collapsed under the weight. It also needed to be about five minutes shorter as the chinlocks really stopped things cold. The match was entertaining but I can see why the fans weren’t that impressed.

We look at Saturn reuniting with Raven and beating the Horsemen a few weeks back. Raven and Saturn then cost the Horsemen the Tag Team Titles, making this match non-title.

Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Raven/Saturn

Raven and Saturn bring a table with them. Benoit and Saturn get things going and they stall for over a minute. Saturn is sent out to the floor where he sends the Horsemen into each other to take over. It’s off to Raven for a clothesline for two followed by a suplex to set up a top rope splash from Saturn. Benoit sends Raven out to the floor for a double stomping from Malenko and Anderson.

Back in and a double spinebuster lets the Horsemen make a wish with Raven’s legs. Dean nails a dropkick and it’s back to Benoit who is immediately caught in a small package. Referee Charles Robinson is busy doing anything else to count the pin so Benoit is able to beat Raven down again for two. Raven finally gets a boot up in the corner and the hot tag brings in Saturn. The Horsemen’s house is cleaned and a Doomsday Device with Saturn hitting a cross body for two.

Benoit saves Dean from a Death Valley Driver and puts Saturn in the rolling Germans but Raven makes the save. Dean breaks up the Even Flow and puts Saturn in the Cloverleaf. Saturn makes a rope and plants Dean with the DVD, only to have Benoit break it up with a Swan Dive to give Dean two. AWESOME sequence. Dean suplexes Saturn again and the fans are all over him for showing the Horsemen sign. There’s a sleeper on Saturn but Raven makes a quick save.

Benoit sends Saturn into the corner but Dean has to break up a sunset flip. Back to Dean for a chinlock to slow things down until Saturn suplexes his way out. Raven gets the hot tag and cleans house, including clotheslining Dean to the floor. Someone throws a chair inside and there’s the drop toehold for Benoit. Meanwhile, Saturn misses a dive through the table to knock himself silly. Dean nails Raven in the face with the chair but Raven shrugs it off and plants Malenko with the Even Flow. Raven covers but Anderson puts the chair on Raven’s head for the Swan Dive from Benoit to knock Raven silly and give Malenko the pin.

Rating: B+. That might be a bit high but I was loving this one. This is exactly what a good tag match is supposed to be: two teams that work great together and some sequences that make you believe it’s over but you’re so happy that you get more. The ending sequence had the fans totally into it and the whole match was great. This was actually better than the opener.

We recap the US Title tournament that wraps up tonight.

US Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner

This is a rematch from Uncensored where Booker beat Steiner for the TV Title. Steiner stalls by insulting fans at ringside before the match. After about three minutes of walking around and yelling, Scott is ready to go. Booker takes him to the mat with a nice amateur move but Steiner is far more talented on the mat. A dropkick and armdrag send Steiner to the floor but he comes back in with some hard elbows to the face in the corner.

Booker nails him with a hard forearm and a hook kick to the jaw before throwing Booker back to the floor. Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and Booker hammers away at the nutjob’s head. Steiner counters some more right hands in the corner by crotching Booker on the top and momentum quickly changes. Booker is sent ribs first into the barricade and Scott drops an elbow on the ribs back inside.

Now it’s Scott’s turn to hammer away in the corner and the fans chant steroids. A backbreaker gets two for Scott and the chants are getting on his nerves. Scott gets in the referee’s face before putting a bearhug on Mr. T. Booker starts powering out so Steiner suplexes him down. Back up and Booker scores with a DDT followed by some side kicks before Steiner pulls the referee in front of a Booker clothesline. The fans are all looking at the entrance for the run-in as Booker hits the ax kick for no count.

The referee is back up so Steiner nails him from behind. Booker’s 110th Street Slam looks to set up the missile dropkick but Scott crotches him to break it up. Scott’s top rope hurricanrana is only good for two so he pulls out a foreign object and knocks Booker out on a suplex attempt. Another referee helps out the original referee and Steiner wins the title.

Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting with Booker looking like a warrior out there. He’s so ready to move up the card and thankfully he’s still the TV Champion out of all this. Actually it’s better that he hasn’t moved up the card as WCW would manage to screw him up so badly it would ruin him.

Mysterio has a chat on WCW.com.

We recap Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash. Simple story: Goldberg is almost unbeatable but Nash is the only man to beat him. Nash challenged him on Nitro.

Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash

Luger and Liz are with Big Kev. Nash does his catchphrase after the bell for some reason. Goldberg takes him into the corner but gets kneed in the ribs for his efforts. There’s the boot choke and Liz gets on the apron so Kevin can kick him low. All Nash so far. The side slam gets two but Nash misses the big boot and Goldberg shoulders him down.

A single underhook suplex sends Nash flying before he misses another big boot. Goldberg nails a superkick but Nash leapfrogs over the referee (not a bad one either!) and the spear hits the referee. Luger nails Goldberg with his cast and Nash loads up the Jackknife. Goldberg uses a testicular claw (Tony: “JACK THIS!”) to escape before kicking Luger in the face. The spear and Jackhammer end Nash.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here but Goldberg is always a guaranteed way to wake up the crowd. The retribution angle works well here and the match was better because they kept things moving here instead of the slow main event style they worked at Starrcade. Having Goldberg beat both Nash and Luger was a nice touch and maybe his biggest win since losing the title.

A very quick video says who is in the main event and nothing more. There isn’t much of a story here anyway. Hogan won a match to earn a shot but Page and Sting just decided they were in the match as well.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Ric Flair vs. Hollywood Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

One fall to a finish. Flair is defending and Randy Savage is referee for no apparent reason. If nothing else we get to look at Gorgeous George. The four quickly pair off with Hogan and Flair falling out to the floor. Sting is already trying the Scorpion on Page as Hogan chops away on Ric. They fight up the aisle as Page gets two off a swinging neckbreaker to Sting. Sting comes back with a top rope clothesline followed by the Stinger Splash but Flair makes the save.

The pairs trade spots with Sting and Page fighting to the floor. Hogan backdrops Flair as Sting drives Page into the barricade. Hogan starts putting the weightlifting belt back on but has to no sell some Flair chops. He Hulks Up as Sting puts Page in the Scorpion in the ring. Hogan drops the leg on Flair, forcing Sting to let go of the hold to make a save. Flair hits Hogan in the knee and cannonballs down on it as the other two guys are back on the floor.

The Figure Four goes on Hogan and Sting splashes Page against the barricade. For some reason Sting doesn’t make a save so Hogan has to turn it over. Page finally comes in for the save before clotheslining Flair to the floor. We get the figure four around the post to Hogan and Hollywood taps but he’s in the ropes. Sting breaks up the hold and the trainer comes out to take Hogan out. Even Bischoff comes out to check on him. I’ve heard conflicting reports on whether the injury was legit or not but Hogan wouldn’t wrestle for three months.

So we’re down to a three way now with Page perfectly fine to let Sting and Flair beat each other up. He finally breaks it up and sends Flair to the floor before stomping on Sting. Savage hasn’t been a factor yet. Flair gets back in and walks into a discus lariat for two. Sting hits the splash in the corner on Page, followed by the running faceplant. Ric is sent to the floor again but comes back in to break up a cover after Page tombstones Sting.

Sting superplexes the champ down but knocks himself silly at the same time. We get the triple sleeper because someone has been watching ECW tapes. Sting breaks it up with a double jawbreaker but gets double teamed against the ropes. He just stares at both guys and takes them down with a clothesline. The fans get WAY into Sting all of a sudden…and then quiet right back down.

Sting puts Flair in the Scorpion but Page makes a quick save. Page tries a suplex on Sting but gets reversed into the Death Drop for a delayed two. Flair knees Sting low and puts on the Figure Four with Page down. Savage pulls them to the middle of the ring and drops the elbow (called the Sky Elbow by Tony) on Ric. Page pops up, stomps Sting and Diamond Cuts Flair for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was a mess with the injury and everything but Page winning the title kind of works for me. I’ve seen people call it one of the stupidest decisions WCW ever made, but it’s not like WCW was flying on high before they gave him the belt. The match really didn’t need Savage as he and Flair had about a thousand built in stories due to past issues. Hogan leaving was odd and there’s always a chance he was pulling something.

Overall Rating: B+. This was one of the best shows WCW has put on in years. Even the main event wasn’t bad! There are two really good matches on here which make the show more than worth checking out and the only bad match is about seven minutes long. Things are about to implode for WCW and this might have been the last really good, bordering on great, show that they had left.

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Thunder
Date: April 7, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

This is a Wednesday show for no apparent reason and we now only have a two man booth. It’s also the go home show for Spring Stampede and we have a main event as of the last fifteen seconds of Nitro. This is also a taped show, meaning we’re probably in for a very dull show. Let’s get to it.

The intro now has the new logo.

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey is defending of course. Evan punches him down to start and nails something like a bulldog for two. Back up and Karagias misses a dropkick, allowing Rey to drop a dime on the back of his head. A powerslam and springboard cross body get two each for Evan and we hit the chinlock. They head outside with Rey being whipped into the barricade before it’s back inside for chinlock the sequel.

We take a break and come back with Evan still holding the chinlock. Evan stomps away even more as the announcers talk about the major matches for Sunday. Rey finally starts a comeback and ties Evan in the ropes for a top rope legdrop and two. The springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb but Evan gets crotched on the top and hurricanranaed down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Karagias didn’t mean anything yet so this was fine for a TV title defense. Mysterio was on a roll at this point and a match with a great opponent like Kidman should make for a great PPV match. Karagias wasn’t much besides a pretty boy in good shape so it would take a ridiculous gimmick to draw any interest.

We see Goldberg knocking himself out by spearing Bret.

We get the announcement of Sunday’s main event from Nitro.

Video on Nash vs. Goldberg.

Wrath vs. Damien

Tenay tries to build Wrath up as a title contender and it’s just sad at this point. Damien gets shoved down a few times before trying a headlock, only to get shoved away again. Wrath ducks a shoulder to send Damien to the floor before whipping him into the barricade. Back in and Damien’s dropkicks have no effect and he runs into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Wrath throws the little guy around and sends him chest first into the corner ala Bret Hart. Damien tries a rollup but gets knocked back to the floor and onto the barricade again for his efforts. Back in and a springboard sunset flip gets two for Damien. A cross body gets the same but Damien dives into the Death Penalty, followed by the Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D+. When Damien hits the better spots of a match, you can tell your career is in trouble. Wrath was on such a roll and it’s a shame that this is the best he can do anymore. The match was your usual power man vs. luchador match but neither guy is the best option for that style of a match.

Here’s Konnan with something to say. He runs down Disco a bit before Sunday so here are Juventud Guerrera and Disco as La Cucaracha. Remember that one off match from a few weeks back on Nitro that was never mentioned again? Well it’s being brought up here. Juvy is going to translate for La Cucaracha and oh dear this is going to be painful. Konnan sees that it’s Disco but Juvy says Cucaracha is from Cancun. Cucaracha says something about bring from Brooklyn and the brawl is on with Konnan quickly clearing the ring. This was worthless.

Video on Konnan vs. Disco.

Video from Nitro of Nash challenging Goldberg.

Hardcore Hak vs. Mikey Whipwreck

This is Mikey’s second WCW match to date. They stall a lot to start until Mikey takes him down by the arm. We actually get some technical stuff with Hak grabbing a headlock on the mat until Mikey has to get to the ropes. That’s enough of that as Hak sends him out to the floor where Chastity can rake his eyes. Mikey comes back with a Russian legsweep to send Hak into the barricade. Back inside and Mikey hits a top rope clothesline for two and we take a break.

We come back with Mikey down on the floor and being whipped into the barricade. Hak misses a slingshot legdrop back inside so Mikey hits a slingshot Fameasser across the bottom rope for two. Whipwreck puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides a chair into his face. With Hak stunned, Mikey goes to the middle rope but misses a spinning dive. Hak drapes him across the top rope and hits a top rope Fameasser of his own. A slingshot legdrop onto a chair onto Mikey’s face has Hak limping as hs calls for a Singapore cane. Mikey intercepts it and hammers away, only to get caught in the White Russian legsweep for the pin.

Rating: E. For ECW, because that’s all this was. It was an ECW style match with ECW wrestlers who even had a history back in ECW. I didn’t want to watch ECW back in 1999, I don’t want to watch ECW now, and I certainly don’t want to watch ECW in WCW. At least ECW had Joey Styles to get on my nerves by thinking he was a radio announcer and calling EVERY SINGLE MOVE in the match because he thought we didn’t know what an Irish whip was without being told.

Bigelow runs out post match and beats up Hak.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Scott Steiner video.

Super Calo vs. Blitzkrieg

A quick dropkick puts Blitzkrieg down and Calo dances a bit. He stops long enough to missile dropkick Blitzkrieg to the floor where Calo hits a dropkick through the ropes. Calo dives out to the floor to take Blitzkrieg out again before throwing him back inside. Back in and Calo cranks on the arm but gets rolled up for two.

Blitzkrieg comes back with a dropkick of his own to send Calo out to the floor, followed by a BIG flip dive with Blitzkrieg landing on his feet. A standing moonsault gets two for Blitzkrieg but he gets dropkicked into the corner. Calo cranks on a chinlock to get a breather before missing a charge into the post. He gets back up but gets crotched on top, allowing Blitzkrieg to almost entirely miss a Phoenix Splash (his arm grazed Calo’s chest) for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m still waiting on Blitzkrieg to blow my mind and I get the feeling I’m going to be waiting forever. The flip dive while landing on his feet was cool but it’s nothing I haven’t seen done before. On the other hand though, the splash at the end was just laughable and it was clear that the camera did as much as it could to hide it. Either that or they thought there was something to looking at the bottom of Calo’s boots.

Video on Benoit/Malenko vs. Raven/Saturn.

Chris Benoit vs. Raven

This should be good. Benoit rips off Raven’s leather jacket to start and then takes Raven’s head off with a clothesline. He bends Raven over his knee in a backbreaker before sending Raven outside for some cheap shots from Anderson. Back in and Benoit charges into two boots in the corner to give Raven an opening. Raven hits what we would call Three Amigos for two but has to escape a Crossface attempt.

We take a break and come back with Raven driving Benoit back first into the buckle. Chris takes him down by the leg and cannonballs down on it in true Flair style. Raven leverages him out to the floor and throws in a chair to make this more comfortable. He can’t hit a bulldog though and gets slammed head first onto the chair. Benoit goes up for the Swan Dive but only hits the chair to put both guys down. They both get up but Anderson comes in for the DQ, because a chair doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Rating: C+. This was the usual good brawl between these two, even if the ending really doesn’t make sense. The tag match on Sunday should be good, though the Horsemen costing Raven and Saturn the titles on Monday doesn’t hold up. Hopefully they’re given some time to make things work.

Post match Saturn comes in to go after Anderson but Malenko saves his mentor. The Horsemen dominate and given Raven and Saturn a DDT and DVD respectfully. Anderson says this is on the fans’ hands.

Video on the four way from Monday.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending. Before the match Jericho says Richmond, West Virginia is one of his favorite towns. A fan holds up a Booker T. Hug Me sign and gets her wish in a nice moment. Booker takes him into the corner to start before grabbing a headlock. Jericho fires off some quick elbows to escape and we’re already at a stalemate. The Canadian elbows out of an armbar and nails a shoulder. Booker comes back with a side kick and we’re right back into the armbar.

The announcers mention Steiner vs. Booker for the first time tonight as Booker clotheslines Jericho to the floor. Chris tries to walk out but gets whipped into the barricade for his efforts. They head back in, only to have Jericho get backdropped out to the floor. This time it’s Booker being sent into the barricade though for his first real advantage. A top rope elbow sets up the Arrogant Cover for two. Jericho drops a backsplash and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Jericho sends him into the corner but gets rolled up for two. Jericho nails a spinwheel kick of his own but stops to pose instead of covering. He goes up but dives into a boot, allowing Booker to hit the ax kick and 110th Street Slam for two. The referee gets bumped, allowing Scott Steiner to come out and hit Booker with a chair. This brings out Stevie Ray to slap jack Jericho for some reason, giving Booker the pin.

Rating: C. Ok so this was Jericho’s final WCW match. It wasn’t bad and I liked it better than Monday’s but it’s still a shell of what Jericho used to be. I really hope Booker doesn’t get swallowed up in the NWO nonsense as he’s one of the few people that has been able to stay fresh by avoiding the whole thing.

Overall Rating: C. This was a nice surprise as the taped Thunders are usually the bane of my existence. The wrestling was good enough and they did enough to promote Spring Stampede. There were still far too many videos and recaps but at least there was enough stuff here to keep me entertained for a few hours.

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