Monday Nitro #129
Date: March 2, 1998
Location: Corestates Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The main story tonight is we have an NWO guy teaming with a WCW guy to face two more NWO guys in the main event of Hall/Hogan vs. Sting/Savage. We’re less than two weeks away from Uncensored and the card is already shaping up very nicely. Hopefully WCW can rebound after a weak showing on last week’s show. Let’s get to it.

After some clips from Savage’s beatdown last week, we see the NWO arriving. Nash is already here for some reason.

Chris Benoit vs. Scotty Riggs

Benoit sends him into the corner to start but can’t hit the German suplex. Instead he clotheslines Riggs in the back of the head and hits a belly to back for two before sending Riggs to the floor. Benoit follows him out and chops Lodi, only to have Riggs get in a shot from behind. Back in and Benoit counters a vertical suplex into a snap suplex, only to be clotheslined down for two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Riggs sends Benoit into the corner. They seem to botch what was supposed to be Riggs going into the post before Benoit rolls the Germans and hooks the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but it didn’t have the time to get anywhere. We’ve been through Benoit fighting the Flock already so this wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen before. Raven is gearing up to fight Page on Thunder but Benoit is still stuck in the same place he’s been for months, which sums up his run in WCW in a five minute segment.

Ric Flair hypes up the main event for some reason.

The announcers talk about Randy Savage winning the Harvard Lampoon’s Man of the Year award.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Eric calls Savage a midget and says things can still be healed. Hogan is tired of hearing about Savage who isn’t even famous enough to get on Leno or Conan. The NWO is for life but Savage has gotten just enough rope to hang himself. He brags about being able to beat Sting and Savage and makes bald jokes in an eye rolling line. All his disciples know he’s too sweet, which is probably supposed to introduce Beefcake’s new name. Hogan rambled a bit but this was fine.

Gene and the Nitro Girls are at St. Joseph’s University in Philadelphia.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

They trade arm work to start with Juvy doing Owen Hart’s spinning nip up counter but getting caught by a clothesline. They speed things up a bit and both guys flip around a bit before Chavo hits another clothesline for two. Juvy flips over the corner and hits a pair of springboard missile dropkicks for no cover. Chavo avoids a charge in the corner and jumps to the top to snap Juvy’s throat across the top. Back in and the tornado DDT is countered into a sloppy looking rollup before hitting the Juvy Driver and the 450 for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine and followed the tried and true formula of letting two small guys fly around the ring for four minutes to fire up the crowd. Juvy was a few steps ahead of Chavo at this point but Guerrero would wind up being the better all around wrestler. Juvy looked good despite losing the mask, although I still don’t agree with the decision to take it off of him.

Psychosis vs. Prince Iaukea

During the entrances we’re told of a new music video from Stuck Mojo featuring Page and the Flock which will debut later tonight. Psychosis jumps him to start and hits a quick baseball slide to send the Prince into the barricade. Iaukea avoids a dive and sends Psychosis face first into the barricade to take over. Back in and Psychosis hits a pair of left arm lariats while shaking his right arm.

Iaukea gets two off a dropkick to the back of the head and they slug it out a bit. Psychosis gets two of his own off a spinwheel kick and hits a dropkick to the back of the head of his own. A top rope hurricanrana gets two on the Prince followed by the guillotine legdrop but Psychosis pulls Prince up at two. Psychosis crotches Iaukea on the top and tries a top rope victory roll but Iaukea falls on top of him for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t a good idea to have it right after the Juvy vs. Guerrero match. Psychosis looked decent but Iaukea continues to be one of the most uninteresting guys I’ve ever seen. There’s nothing that separates him from any other generic wrestler out there and that’s not good for a show like Nitro.

Ad for Uncensored.

Raven vs. Disco Inferno

Disco wears the same kind of hat that HHH wore in 2000 which doesn’t suit him at all. Disco kicks him into the corner to start and hits a quick swinging neckbreaker for two before sending Raven to the outside. Raven sends him into the barricade and drops Disco onto the apron to take over. A chair is brought into the ring but Disco sends Raven face first into it instead to take over. Disco chokes away with some tape but Raven hits the drop toehold onto the chair and the Evenflow is good for the pin. Short but better than I expected.

More from the party with Gene talking to a bored cop and some guy from Cleveland.

Hugh Morrus/Barbarian vs. Public Enemy

Both teams bring tables with them but Public Enemy has a trashcan as well. The can is thrown into the ring and it’s a big brawl to start. Public Enemy is over huge with the Philly crowd and apparently this is a Philadelphia street fight. Jimmy Hart gets in some shots of his own on Rocco but Barbarian and Morrus clothesline each other.

Grunge puts Jimmy on the table but Barbarian makes the save so Morrus can superplex Rocco through the table. Morrus hits Barbarian with a high cross body by mistake and the other table is brought in. Rocco dives through Morrus (the table was breaking before he dove) for the fast pin. Another short match but Public Enemy was WAY over.

Here are Savage and Liz (looking GOOD tonight) with something to say. Savage says he’s tired of carrying Hogan for all these years and without the NWO, Hogan wouldn’t have a life. Savage calls Hall and Hogan cowards and says Sting will do business Savage’s way. Here’s Sting (still not carrying the belt which I haven’t seen on TV since SuperBrawl) with a mic for once. The survey says Hall is dead but he hasn’t forgotten what Savage has done over the years. Sting will only be doing things his way.

Goldberg vs. Sick Boy

Goldberg hits a quick gorilla press drop and a clothesline to stop a charging Sick Boy. Sick Boy slips off a springboard and the fans let him have it. Goldberg says hit me with your best shot but it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the pin.

We get the music video with the band (Stuck Mojo) playing in a ring as the Flock watches from ringside. They get inside and dive right back out onto the fans as the band plays. DDP finally gets in and cleans house with a wooden chair. Raven and Page stare each other down to end the video. The song is called Rising if you want to check it out.

Here’s DDP for an interview right after the video ends. He has a title defense against Raven on Thursday and since Raven likes quotes so much, Page’s quote is Raven is about to get BANGED. Page leaves, which seems rather silly considering what comes next.

Hammer vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Hammer jumps Page as he comes in and hits a quick powerslam for no cover. Page is stomped down in the corner but he comes back with rights and lefts while Hammer argues with the referee. He goes up onto the ropes to rain down right hands but Hammer hits him low to stop Page cold. DDP spins around Hammer’s shoulders and hits a Diamond Cutter but Raven runs in for the DQ before a cover.

Raven beats Page down but Benoit makes the save. All three guys brawl to a break.

More Nitro Party stuff.

Bret Hart is looking forward to facing Hennig because the NWO is a bunch of liars and bullies. He’s here to tear the NWO down brick by brick and at Uncensored, Hennig will learn that Bret is the best there is, was and ever will be. Also Stu Hart can beat up Larry Hennig any day.

British Bulldog vs. Scott Norton

Norton shoves Bulldog around in a rare occurrence for the Brit. Bulldog comes back with a regular slam followed by a powerslam (not the powerslam mind you) but Norton clotheslines him to the floor. Norton loads up a powerbomb on the floor but stops to shove the referee away for a DQ.

Bulldog and Norton brawl up the ramp. So Norton seems to have replaced Mongo, which is an upgrade…..I think?

The announcers talk about the main event some more.

Konnan vs. Super Calo

Before the match, Konnan says Juventud is a punk for losing his mask and is no longer raza. Konnan grabs the arm to start and they speed things up with Calo hitting a quick armdrag. An awkward looking shove puts Konnan down (looked like someone missed a cue) and a dropkick puts him into the corner. Konnan hits the rolling clothesline to take over but the announcers are talking about Raven vs. Page vs. Benoit being made official for the PPV. Calo hits a quick clothesline and dropkick for two but Konnan hits the cradle DDT and the Tequila Sunrise for a fast submission.

Juvy comes out to prevent Konnan from taking Calo’s mask. A match is made for next week.

Here’s Ric Flair with something to say. Flair wants to know why Gene is at the party but Flair is here. Actually he already knows: he wants to see the main event. Well he already promoted it earlier. Flair starts talking about Bret but here are Hennig and Rude to interrupt. Flair says he’s Eric Lindros (Philadelphia hockey star for those of you unfamiliar) and they’re the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Hennig says if Flair is a 14 time champion then he’s also a 14 time loser. Flair gets ready to fight and Hennig comes in for the brawl but Rude rakes Flair’s eyes to give Hennig the advantage. Ric comes back with a low blow and goes for the leg but Rude comes in again for a Hennigplex and a three count from Rude. Bret FINALLY comes out for the save.

More Nitro Party stuff.

Jim Duggan vs. Scott Steiner

Duggan spends too much time walking around the ring and gets decked by White Thunder. Two Duggan clotheslines have no effect but a third knocks him out to the floor. Back in and a big slam puts Steiner down but Steiner comes back with a butterfly powerbomb for no cover. Steiner hooks a chinlock but Duggan morons up and shrugs off the forearms to the back.

Right hands stagger Scott but he tries a middle rope sunset flip of all things for two. Duggan pounds away in the corner again but he misses a charge and goes face first into the post, sending him out to the floor. Back in and the spinning belly to belly sets up the Steiner Recliner for the submission.

Rating: C-. This was actually decent with Duggan playing the role of plucky fighter far better than I expected him to. That being said, Steiner shouldn’t have had this much trouble with a jobber to the stars like Duggan so soon after his major heel turn. It’s no wonder why it took so long for him to get over.

Booker T/Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Jericho

This is a rematch from Thunder where Eddie/Jericho won. Before the match Jericho declares this Monday Jericho and says his first guest is Eddie Guerrero for this tag team. Booker starts with Jericho with the latter still wearing the Juvy mask around his neck. Some quick forearms knock Jericho into the corner but Chris comes back with a middle rope dropkick for two. Eddie comes in and everything breaks down with Dean and Booker clearing the ring.

Eddie and Jericho hug on the floor as the good guys beg for them to come back in. Eddie comes in again and drops to his knees to beg but Booker forearms him in the head. A dropkick to the leg puts Booker down and Jericho comes in for a double clothesline. Eddie’s slingshot hilo gets no cover but another forearm puts him right back down.

Off to Dean as things break down again and Booker superkicks Guerrero in the back of the head. Dean breaks up a Lionsault but Booker misses a side kick to Eddie. Booker and Eddie fall to the floor and it’s Dean and Jericho inside. A slow motion Attitude Adjustment puts Jericho down and the Cloverleaf gets the win for Malenko and Booker.

Rating: C+. This is another of those matches that’s an easy layup for two given the talent in there. It’s also an easy way to set up Jericho vs. Malenko at the PPV and give the fans reason to believe Malenko can win. Booker and Eddie already have a reason to face each other so this advanced two feuds at the same time. Good stuff.

Here’s the Nash and the NWO B-Team with something to say. Scott Steiner gets to the point by asking his brother Rick to join the NWO. Here are Rick and DiBiase with Rick immediately joining with the too sweet sign to all the members. Rick surprises them with right hands but Buff stops him before he gets to Scott. A big beatdown ensues but Nash pulls away from a powerbomb. He loads up another one but Rick backdrops out and here’s the Giant to get his hands on Nash. Giant headbutts Nash down and gives him a good powerbomb, only to hurt his own neck in the process.

During the break security try to handcuff the Giant but the cuffs don’t fit.

Brian Adams vs. Bret Hart

This is Bret’s Nitro debut. Adams jumps Bret as he comes in and hits a gorilla press gutbuster to send him to the floor. Bret sends him into the post to take over back inside and pounds away in the corner. The Russian legsweep looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Adams gets a rope. Brian hits a clothesline to take over and hits a slow motion tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A turnbuckle comes off somewhere in there but it’s Adams going face first into it, setting up the Sharpshooter. Before he can tap out though here’s Hennig for the DQ.

Rating: D. Of all the opponents they could have picked for Bret’s debut match on Nitro they picked Adams? I don’t know why the guy was signed in the first place as he’s just a generic power guy who doesn’t do anything special in the ring at all. You can already see Bret being wasted from here, as he debuted as a referee, wrestled one very good PPV match and is now fighting Brian Adams. That’s not a good sign.

Sting/Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan/Scott Hall

We’re finally to this match which Tony has hyped up like it was the original NWO match. The problem here is the match is going to have about ten minutes and odds are it ends in a run in. I get the idea of hyping up the main event, but when the match isn’t going to be anything special it makes you look bad. Schiavone is famous for this and tonight is the first time he’s really done it for a match that isn’t all that huge. To really pound it in, Buffer does the big intro and calls it the main event of the evening, but Tony corrects him by saying it’s the main event of all time. It’s a big match but it’s making Tony sound silly at this point.

This is a rare instance of Hall being treated as one of the top guys in the NWO. After the first few weeks of the team he was always a step below Hogan and at times below Nash. From what I can find, this is the only time Hogan and Hall teamed together without Nash there too. On the way to the ring, Bischoff holds up a sign saying “Raw fears ratings.” Sting STILL isn’t wearing the belt. What’s up with that? I don’t think I’ve seen it since he won the title and I’m almost forgetting he’s champion.

It’s a big brawl to start with Bischoff in there to help out too. Sting and Savage clean house with Sting fighting Hogan on the floor instead of the guy he’s defending the title against in two weeks. Hall and Savage are fighting off camera while Sting whips Hogan with the weightlifting belt. Savage and Hall get back to the ring with Randy whipping Scott with the belt. We officially get going with Savage elbowing Hall in the face before bringing in Sting for a Vader Bomb of all things for two.

Back to Savage for the double ax handle before Sting drops an elbow for two. Savage pulls Hogan off the apron and sends him into the barricade. Randy comes back in for elbows to the head but Hogan comes in with some kind of metal object to knock Savage silly and give the NWO control.

It’s Savage playing face in peril now with Hogan pounding him in the head and clotheslining him in the corner. Hall gets two off the fallaway slam and it’s back to Hogan for more punching. There’s the big boot but Savage avoids the leg drop. The hot tag brings in Sting for two quick Stinger Splashes as everything breaks down. Sting loads up the Scorpion on Hogan but the NWO runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It was your standard main event tag with a somewhat faster pace. How this changed the wrestling world I’m not sure but one thing is very clear: Sting may be world champion but that doesn’t mean much. I don’t think his match with Hall was even mentioned here and they might have had 30 seconds of contact in a ten minute match. It’s clear that whatever Hogan is doing is the top story and the world champion is a distant second.

A bunch of WCW guys come out for the save and Hogan names the new guy Disciple to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like Thunder this was a very easy show to get through. Nothing on here was bad and the worst stuff was all short. That being said, a lot of this show is just there. It’s not very good, it’s not very bad and it just exists. It’s the kind of stuff that you watch and then forget about five minutes later, which is bad when there’s about an hour of it a week. On the good side though, Uncensored looks like a solid card and the television hasn’t been bad leading up to it. This was a show building to the PPV and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

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Invasion
Date: July 22, 2001
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,964
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross

So this is easily the most requested show since I’ve stated doing the reviews so I might as well get it out of the way. This is the infamous INVASION of the WCW/ECW Alliance. Since I’ve already explained my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole in the Survivor Series 2001 review the talking about it here is going to be somewhat limited but I’m sure I’ll have something to go on and on about in here somewhere.

The main event is the Inaugural Brawl, which is just a big ten man tag. Other than that the card is relatively boring other than Hardy vs. Van Dam for the Hardcore Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Roosevelt and the Nazis and Japanese Army. ARE YOU SERIOUS? Ok, I know Vince likes things big, but this is ridiculous. The logo for the show is this weird hybrid of Shane and Vince’s faces. It’s kind of cool but more creepy.

Mike Awesome/Lance Storm vs. Edge and Christian

Hmm I wonder who is winning here. Edge and Christian’s music cuts Storm off. That’s rather amusing. I’ve always liked Storm so that has something to do with it. Edge is the reigning KOTR at the moment if that means anything to anyone. Christian and Awesome start us off. Storm vs. either of the faces could be most interesting. Edge gets down and Christian goes for a dive over the ropes. He slips though and nearly has a very bad fall.

Odd hearing WWF fans say YOU SCREWED UP. Awesome sans mullet is odd looking to put it mildly. Christian is getting beaten down for the most part here as you would expect. Why you would expect that I’m not sure but it sounded right in my head. Cole is really new at this whole commentary thing at this point and it shows badly. Edge gets the tag and takes out various heels. Edge rams Storm into Christian which would mean something in a few weeks/months.

The rollup only gets two though and we slow down for a bit. The crowd is hot here as they tend to be in Cleveland. Pretty decent tag match here. Awesome sets Edge for a powerbomb but Christian spears Awesome so that Edge falls on top for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Very good choice for an opener here as both teams were trying out there and it showed very well. Edge was getting hot around this time and it would have been a world title reign had a few things gone right. This was fun though and a great opener.

Vince is happy. Regal, in a collared WWF shirt and tights, says Austin is here. He gets Raven later. Well that’s an odd combination if there has ever been one.

We recap the feud between the referees. Yeah it was bad. It results in this.

Earl Hebner vs. Nick Patrick

Of all people, Mick Foley is the referee here. Yeah I don’t get it either but whatever. He’s wearing a Marvel t-shirt so I can’t complain at all. Nick comes out with an army of referees which is just funny looking. Earl does the same. It looks like the world’s weakest gang. Oh and they’re in refereeing gear.

Take a wild guess as to the quality of the work here. Do I need to offer commentary on this one? It’s a glorified lumberjack match. Foley throws out the WCW referees. Earl hits something resembling a spear for the win. Patrick gets in Foley’s face and guess what happens. I think you know the drill.

Rating: N/A. I’m not grading two non-wrestlers like I would grade regular wrestlers.

We recap Debra getting abducted on Smackdown. Debra complains about it. She makes Stephanie look like a great actress. Taker’s wife Sara isn’t much better. She’s attractive though.

We recap the APA vs. Palumbo and O’Haire. It’s tag champions vs. tag champions. Basically the APA called for the WWF locker room to join forces to fight in the war. The WCW Champions jumped them at WWF New York.

APA vs. Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo

No titles on the line here, despite them both being champions of some sort. Dang O’Haire had the look down to a science. So did Palumbo. We get a mention of Kevin Nash. He and DDP were the guys O’Haire and Palumbo beat. Teddy Long informs them they have seven minutes. Oddly enough Farrooq was managed by Long back in the day.

Oddly enough this is a pretty back and forth match. Bradshaw busts out a DDT of all things. Never seen him use that I don’t think. Farrooq gets a standing switch. This is FREAKY. Oddly enough this is pretty back and forth with no one really dominating at all. The Clothesline From JBL ends it. This never got off the ground at all.

Rating: D. Just boring stuff here. You could clearly see there was very little thought put into the matches here. These two teams just were kind of there. It’s not bad I guess, but this could have been on Superstars or something like that. Pretty weak.

Vince is with Jericho in the back and says Vince is the difference between ECW/WCW and WWF. He’s exactly right actually. Oh and Heyman sucks.

Stephanie hates Jericho. WOW her acting reaches new levels of suck. Heyman is sitting in the back and then goes off on Billy Kidman, saying he has to win this next match.

X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

It’s champion vs. champion again. This is in the X-Factor era. Yeah no one cares AT ALL. Kidman’s music was rather groovy. Pac is total heel here but he’s the face because of the company he’s in. Waltman should be good here though as he’s always good against smaller guys. Scratch that about Waltman being the face. They still hate him. I’ve always liked Cleveland.

Apparently you don’t want to be the first to lose. Dang I thought you always wanted to lose. What was I thinking? They got close to the WCW/NWO issue with the announcers being completely idiotic looking by saying one group was the crowd favorite when they were being booed out of the building. They pick it up a bit with some nice high impact stuff. Pac catches a diving Kidman coming off the top in an X-Factor.

That looked pretty stupid, but I’d think that’s because it’s the stupid X Factor. Bronco Buster is blocked with a boot to the balls. I love alliteration. That sets up the Shooting Star Press for the pin. According to Ross, the Bronco Buster is a high risk move.

Rating: C+. Not bad but not great at all. The most interesting thing here was the crowd. The match itself is ok but not bad. Pac was always at his best against small guys and he was far less annoying here. Nothing great but the SSP is always sweet.

DDP babbles about nothing.

Torrie and Stacy try to sound sexy and just fail. They like the Hardys apparently.

William Regal vs. Raven

We get a brief history of Raven’s career, minus Johnny Polo that is which might be his best gimmick. It’s a slugfest to start which Regal is good at. He was very physical around this time and it always came off rather well. His feud with Jericho was a highlight of his career to me. All Regal so far. That forearm to the face that he uses for a cover is great. We get a slingshot as I wonder what the point of this was.

The fans think this is boring and I can’t really say that I disagree. It’s not bad, but this is as basic as you could imagine. They look like they’re both rookies who know very few moves at this point. It’s more or less all punches and clotheslines. They’re crisp and such, but this just isn’t that interesting. You know what it reminds me of? An old SNES wrestling game where you have like 5 moves and everyone has the same set no matter what their size is.

The boring chant is really loud now. You can tell there is no story here at all. Raven gets thrown to the floor and for zero explained reason, Taz runs out and hits a suplex on Regal to allow Raven to hit the DDT for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just like I said before, this was just boring. I have no idea what the point was here but this didn’t come off well. It was just a wrestling match, but with this being a PPV, this wasn’t acceptable for me.

Taker and Kane get a pep talk from Vince. Taker doesn’t like Vince talking about his wife.

Billy Gunn/Albert/Big Show vs. Kanyou/Hugh Morrus/Shawn Stasiak

Again, what in the freaking world is the thought process on this show? It makes no sense at all. This was made on Heat. Oh and Albert is IC Champion here. He’s still in X-Factor and the song is still awesome. Stasiak is using Mr. Perfect’s gimmick, down to the music. It was idiotic. In a cool spot we get a triple press slam from the WWF guys. Gunn and Kanyon start us off. This was Billy Gunn push #2837G.

Kanyon does an odd combination from a Russian legsweep into a Stroke. Nicely done. We get the traditional melee and Albert hits a bicycle (Pump kick that Sheamus uses) kick to Shawn and by hits I mean misses Shawn completely but has it sold anyway. This is pretty much all Albert.

Fameasser hits on Morrus. For you newer fans, Morrus is more commonly known as Bill Demott. Stasiak hits a reverse DDT so Morrus can get the pin. This was a MESS. Show hits chokeslams all around post match. Show debuts the Alley-Oop which he should do more often as it looked pretty cool.

Rating: F+. Just horrid here and I have even less clue what the booking here was supposed to be. This was a weird choice to say the least and I guess it was to showcase the WWF guys but it came off like a bunch of jobbers beat them. Made no sense.

Shane talks to Booker and says the Alliance (not named that yet but close enough) is up 4-3 because of Chavo beating Scotty on Heat. That answered a LOT of questions actually as no one got how later in the Alliance said they had an extra win. I was at a friend’s house watching this and we spent 40 minutes after the show trying to figure it out. We had lists of matches and charts etc going and NO ONE got it. Yeah I’m just killing time now.

Regal fires Tajiri up.

Taz vs. Tajiri

This was the ECW Title match at I think Heat Wave 99 and it was a glorified squash. Apparently Tajiri is popular for staying in the WWF. Ok then. Hey they actually mentioned the Heat Wave match! Sweet I’m not insane. Taz hooks a bunch of suplexes and submissions, which makes me think instantly that Tajiri will win. In at least the last two matches and maybe more, the guy or guys that dominate early loses in the end.

Handspring elbow gets a BIG pop. Didn’t see that one coming. We hit the floor for all of 5 seconds and I’m bored out of my mind. The Tarantula helps that a bit. Tajiri kicks the heck out of Taz for a LONG two. Those kicks are LOUD too. Just as it’s getting good, the mist hits as does a kick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This got really good for like 30 seconds. Other than that though it just wasn’t interesting at all. Again, I don’t get the point in these 5-6 minute matches with zero point to them at all. Could have been a lot worse though.

Jeff and Matt talk about Jeff’s match with Van Dam. Van Dam pops up and cracks the HECK out of Matt with a chair. That sounded great.

Hardcore Holly is at WWF New York and gets on a plant for wearing a WCW shirt.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun stuff and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Angle is annoyed for some reason. He says he’ll own the invaders tonight.

We actually have a video package about the bra and panties tag match. Seriously? Short version: Trish and Lita hate each other because of them trying to steal the Hardys from each other. Torrie and Stacy do the same thing. Yeah let’s just get to it. See, the thing they never could get around was that Torrie and Stacy had no talent other than looking good. Trish and Lita at least could fight.

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

Stephanie gives the pep talk. That’s amusing. Heyman takes over which is a major upgrade.

Austin is acting like himself.

We recap this, which started with Shane buying WCW. They finally switched the roles as a face had WCW and a heel had WWF. Then one night Vince said he was tired of this so he said let’s have a match. The five guys he picked were ECW guys, you get the rest. Dreamer and Van Dam debuted that night. Austin had been an idiot since he turned heel so he started being the old Austin again.

More or less he kept saying he wouldn’t be his old self until he said he’d do it. No big moment of clarity or anything. He just changed his mind. Yeah there wasn’t much of a story other than they don’t like each other, but did there need to be? Oh and DDP stalked Taker’s wife. Stephanie being revealed as the ECW owner is one of my favorite moments ever. Oh and Freddie freaking Blassie showed up for a pep talk.

Inaugural Brawl: Team WWF vs. Team WCW/ECW

WWF – Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, Kane, Undertaker

WCW/ECW – Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Rhyno, Dudley Boys

All three Alliance bosses get entrances. Now Vince gets an entrance. It’s been over 12 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not even to the wrestlers’ entrances yet. So yeah for you trivia buffs, this is the other non-ECW PPV that the Dudley Boys main evented. Kane and Taker were still kind of tag partners at this point but not really. So apparently Taker and Kane are balanced out by the Dudley Boyz? Ok then.

Oh and this is just a ten man tag. No special rules or anything like that. And pay no attention to the fact that both Taker and Kane (albeit as a jobber) used to work for WCW. Rhyno makes it the third ECW guy in a row. Talk about a push that died after this. Next is Jericho, who is about as opposite of Rhyno after this show as you could ask of anyone. Stephanie and Jericho was one of the funniest feuds I can ever remember.

Booker is US and World Champion at this time but he would hand the US Title to Kanyon soon after this. This just feels entirely thrown together. Sting is mentioned on a WWF PPV for likely the only time ever. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music is just hilarious. Angle gets a HUGE pop despite going the wrong way down the ramp.

The level he reached about two months from now was insane. DDP is apparently the biggest deal in the Alliance. Dang did they ever jump the gun here. The 9 mentioned start fighting in the aisle and we have Austin. Notice a certain one sidedness here?

Austin and Rhyno start us off. Austin hits a superplex off the top. Sweet goodness. Jericho gets a NICE pop for the tag. Booker, the only one of the WCW/ECW guys to get a legit push in WWF comes in. Angle gets another great pop. This was after the peak the company had a few months earlier, but it was still a huge deal. This evolves into your standard big time tag match with various people beating on each other with no one really controlling for a ton of time.

DDP hits a Stunner on the top rope on Taker to finally get something resembling control. Austin works on a wristlock on Booker. There’s something you don’t see everyday. We’ve been at this for about ten minutes now and there hasn’t been any long term control. There isn’t much to say here either though as it’s exactly what you would expect it to be. Heyman is awesome at being completely evil when he has to be.

Angle is in some trouble here and the Spinarooni hits. Page hits a spinning powerbomb on Angle which is one of my favorite moves. So after nearly 20 minutes we get to the traditional face in peril sequence of the match. We go old school with Austin getting the tag but the referee didn’t see it. I love things like that. Diamond Cutter on Angle and it gets NO reaction. Cole of course calls it a neck breaker while Ross, 10 seconds after it, says the name right.

And here is the brawl that you knew was coming. Rhyno hits the Gore on Booker and Taker finally gets his hands on DDP again. Chokeslam to Page. Booker and Austin fight on the floor while the WCW referee gets a Last Ride. Taker and DDP go into the crowd while Austin’s knee is messed up after going into the steps. Kane is fighting both Dudleys.

That’s how you can tell Taker is a bigger deal than Kane: when Taker did that, they got their own match. It’s table time. Kane hits a chokeslam through the announce table on D-Von. He got him UP there too. Rhyno and Bubba put Kane through the Spanish Announce Table. Good to see a tradition still alive. Jericho puts Rhyno through the table the Dudleyz set up. Booker and Angle are the only guys still conscious. Oh and Bubba also.

The referee is still looking at Austin’s knee. Yes I’m listing a lot of play by play but you have to here so you know what’s going on. Angle fights off Booker and Bubba with an ankle lock and the Angle Slam, back when it was a good finisher, respectively. And there goes the referee. Cue the finish. Vince grabs the WWF Title and throws it to Angle. Shane gets it though and down goes Vince.

It’s Booker vs. Angle now. Angle hits his pair of finishers on him, Austin throws the referee in, kicks Angle in the head, Stunner, pin, WCW/ECW wins. Austin turned heel again, shocking JR despite him having done the same thing TWO AND A HALF MONTHS EARLIER. Austin and the three Alliance leaders have beers to end the show.

Rating: B. This did something I didn’t think it did: it made the far weaker WCW/ECW team look legit. This was all about making WWF look like they were in danger and it did that. WWF never had the advantage in the whole match until the very end. WCW/ECW controlled this as they should have.

Austin turning heel had to be done given the totally rushed nature of this angle but that’s neither here nor there. The match wasn’t terrible either, so I’d say this was a success. Not a classic or anything, but a success.

Overall Rating: B-. Now think about this for a minute. Yes, most of the matches completely sucked. Actually all but like 3 did. However, this was based around the main event. I don’t recall any other matches other than the hardcore title one being advertised. Oh and Bra/Panties. Other than that, this show wasn’t up to a high quality in the ring because it didn’t need to be.

This was about two things: the main event, and making WCW/ECW look like a threat. Once the PPV ended, no one cared who won the matches or who was even in them. All that mattered was the Alliance won the night and the main event in particular. This definitely isn’t a show you would want to watch for the show itself, but the main thing here is that the huge angle got rolling.

Now to be fair, the angle bombed about as ten times as much as anyone on the planet could have asked it to, but no one knew that at the time. This should have been an angle that went on for at least a year or two, not five months. Anyway, if this was any other show, it would be a C- at best. However, this was a historical show, and as a stand alone show I thought it was successful. On a long term basis though, bad. Like, really bad. Other than for historical issues though, I wouldn’t sit through it.

 

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Thunder
Date: February 26, 1998
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall, Bobby Heenan

After a weak Nitro we’re here in Iowa to hopefully get things back on the right track. Sting is the world champion again but Hogan and the NWO destroyed him on Monday like he was any other guy. WCW is finally starting to unite against the NWO though with Flair, Hart, Luger, Sting and maybe even Savage coming together to fight back. Let’s get to it.

Dean Malenko/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Eddie Guerrero

The fans immediately go off on Guerrero and it’s Booker elbowing Jericho down to start. A spinebuster puts him down again and we take an early break. Back with Guerrero missing the slingshot hilo and being backdropped out to the floor. Tony tells us that these four will be in singles title matches at the PPV with Dean challenging Jericho and Eddie challenging Booker. Jericho pulls Dean to the floor for a snap suplex and now the fans are all over the Canadian.

Eddie and Chris hit a double shoulder for two on Malenko as this crowd is very hot. Tony tells us that the over the top DQ rule has been abolished. I never liked that rule so good for it being gone. Jericho hooks an abdominal stretch but Dean quickly hiptosses out of it. Malenko goes for the tag but Eddie dropkicks him into a Liontamer attempt to break it up. Dean kicks Chris away and makes the hot tag so Booker can clean house.

Guerrero slows him down with a dropkick but Booker hits the side kick for two. Everything breaks down and Booker hits the ax kick on Eddie but Jericho makes the save. Eddie hits a brainbuster on Booker, waits for Dean to have Jericho in the Cloverleaf, and hits the frog splash on Booker for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t quite up to the level of the matches with Benoit instead of Booker but it was fine. The thing I want to focus on is Eddie waiting those few seconds to hit the frog splash. If he had done it immediately it would have looked stupid that Dean wouldn’t break up the hold. By waiting for Malenko to put on the Cloverleaf and turn his back to the cover, Eddie made the whole sequence much more realistic. I love little things like that.

Tenay brings out DDP for a chat. Page praises Benoit for giving him the best match of his career and says they respect each other. They also agree that Raven is a piece of garbage, which brings out Raven and the Flock. Raven wants his US Title shot and Page says anytime, so Raven picks next week.

Brad Armstrong vs. Fit Finlay

Finlay quickly takes him to the mat to work on the ankle for a bit. Back up and Brad grabs Finlay’s leg, only to get caught by an enziguri. After doing nothing of note on the floor we head back inside for a beating from Finlay with uppercuts and right hands. Armstrong grabs an arm but Finlay whips him into the corner for an easy escape. Finlay looks like he’s toying with Brad here. Finlay charges into a boot in the corner and gets caught by a middle rope crossbody for two. Brad gets two more off a belly to back suplex but Finlay gets bored of being beaten on and tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was an odd pairing but they would actually five three times on this show before the end of the summer. I don’t know where they’re going with this Armstrong Curse idea but I’m surprised they’re giving Brad Armstrong of all people a continued story like this. It’s not a major story but Armstrong is one of the last people you would expect to get a story at all.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Dave Taylor

Bulldog hits a quick shoulder and a clothesline to send Taylor out to the floor. Back in and the crowd is already booing Taylor despite Bulldog not being the nicest guy in the world in his WCW run. Tony tells us (he’s a chatterbox tonight) that Mongo will be out for a few weeks because of his broken arm. A suplex gets two on Smith but he pops up, hits the real vertical suplex and powerslams Taylor down for the pin.

Tenay brings out Hennig to talk about his match with Bret at Uncensored. Mike talks about Bret turning the NWO down, which Hennig says makes Bret stupid. Hennig is the man Hogan picked to deal with Bret and actually uses the my dad beat up his dad line. He’s got Neidhart tonight but isn’t worried at all. I can’t say I blame him on that.

Goldberg vs. Rick Fuller

Fuller is a big guy with a decent look. The NWO music comes on for a few seconds during Fuller’s entrance in a production error. The place goes NUTS for Goldberg who is definitely a big deal now. Heenan wants to know how many matches Goldberg has won in a row. Tony: “All of them.” Goldberg takes him to the mat with ease and no sells a big boot before hitting the two moves for the pin. This was about a minute long.

The Flock comes to ringside.

Yuji Nagata vs. La Parka

Parka swings the chair and does the Karate Kid crane kick to start. Nagata will have none of this foolishness and kicks Parka in the leg and side to take over. A sidekick puts La Parka down but he kicks Nagata in the back of the head to stagger him. Nagata is out in the Tree of Woe for a running spin kick to send him to the floor.

The masked man brings the chair into the ring as a launchpad to jump to the top rope and dive down onto Nagata in a nice move. Yuji is sent into the chair (no DQ on that for some reason) and then back inside for a corkscrew dive from the top. Cue Disco Inferno to give Sonny Onoo the Chartbuster for no apparent reason, allowing Yuji to kick the chair into La Parka’s face and get the win via the Nagata Lock.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t dull but I’m not sure what was going on here. Wasn’t Disco fighting with La Parka as recently as the last PPV? The match was one of Nagata’s more interesting ones but that might have been due to La Parka showing off a lot. Also it would have been better for Nagata to pin him off the chair kick instead of a leg lock which hadn’t been set up at all but that’s nitpicking.

Hall comes out for the survey with the boys in black taking another one. He gets his shot at Sting in two weeks and is clearly the favorite. He’s been in the ring every night for two years and all Sting has is a cool entrance. Sting has to prove how good he is at Uncensored so bring it on. Nice and simple promo to build up the title match.

Buff Bagwell does Scott Steiner’s entrance ala Michael Buffer. Scott is now known as White Thunder which never got over as a nickname. Scott talks about having breakfast with Luger, Sting and Rick on Sunday morning but the next night Luger was challenging him to a fight. Steiner accepts but doesn’t get why Luger thinks he’s the Total Package. Luger went to college and is an educated man, but he didn’t go to Michigan. Michigan wanted Scott Steiner because he’s a better athlete, so Scott sings part of Michigan’s fight song. And they wonder why it took so long for him to get over.

Scott Steiner vs. Marty Jannetty

Steiner destroys him as Tony talks about Sting/Savage vs. Hogan/Hall on Monday. The announcers think it’s a trap and Sting would have to be crazy to agree to that match. Well Sting may be the dumbest man in the history of wrestling so it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s being trapped. The match is a total squash with Scott hitting a gorilla press, belly to belly and the top rope Frankensteiner for the pin in about 90 seconds.

Curt Hennig vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart easily shoves him across the ring and Hennig bails to the floor. He’s pulled back in by the hair (“OWWWWWWW!”) as Scott Steiner comes in to the announcers’ desk. He says the door is still open for Rick to join the team and it’s the best decision he’ll ever make. Neidhart puts on a bearhug but here are Vincent and Adams for the DQ.

Davey Boy makes the save for his brother in law.

Raven vs. Kevin Nash

Now that’s an interesting pairing. Before the match, Raven says this is going to be a battle royal with the rest of the Flock being the other participants. Raven sits down in the corner as the Flock charges at Nash (one at a time of course) and is easily elimination. Nash powerbombs Lodi twice to a big pop, sending Nash to prison and costing him $100,000. Raven wins by default.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Page taking him down in an armbar. Benoit reverses into a chinlock as we hear what sounds like a canned DDP chant. Page rolls out of the chinlock into a stalemate which turns into a fight. They lock up and fall out to the floor before going into the crowd. Page hits a hard right hand to knock Benoit back to ringside and gets two off a swinging neckbreaker.

Benoit goes after the big bandages on the ribs with a kick to the stomach and a front suplex onto the ropes to put Page down. Page is whipped hard into the corner and Benoit grabs him for a northern lights suplex but just drops him on the ribs for two. Benoit stomps him down in the corner but Page comes back with right hands. We’re on a wide shot now as it appears Page is busted open. Raven comes in for the DQ a few seconds later.

Rating: C. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it set up the main event next week a bit better. Three way feuds like this are almost always interesting because there are so many different ways they can go. Benoit is getting a solid rub out of this as he can hang with higher level talent, but a title win would be nice.

Benoit and Raven fight to the floor and Page dives on them to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really light show and I mean that in a good way. We got some good wrestling and angle advancement but there wasn’t any heavy lifting to make the show hard to sit through. That’s a really nice thing to have as an alternative to the story heavy Nitro. Uncensored is looking good other than the main event, which could sum up almost any WCW PPV from this era.

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Smackdown
Date: July 19, 2013
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

With Money in the Bank passed we’re now in the period of waiting for Sandow to cash in. After Monday night we have some of the main events set for Summerslam which means we need some blue matches to balance it out. Also Ziggler is officially a face after breaking up with AJ and being destroyed by Langston. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence again, which I think is the norm now.

Here’s Teddy Long to get things going. Tonight there’s going to be a new general manager named and Teddy wants to throw his name in the hat. He doesn’t know how good he’d be but he’ll be better than Vickie Guerrero. Vince will be here in person tonight to give Teddy a job evaluation. Teddy polls the crowd who seems to like the idea of Long being the boss long term.

This brings out the returning Booker T to thank Teddy for filling in while Booker was out getting triceps surgery. Booker is back to be the GM now but here’s Vince with something to say on the subject. Vince asks Teddy what match he would make to impress the fans so Teddy suggests Axel vs. Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Booker’s offer is Del Rio vs. Orton, which brings out Raw GM Brad Maddox. He thinks he should be GM of both shows because he was going to suggest both matches as well as the Smackdown return of RVD.

Vince’s pick for the permanent Smackdown GM: Vickie freaking Guerrero. Well of course she is, because if there’s one thing WWE needs it’s ANOTHER heel boss character. She blames the fans for getting her fired from Raw so she hates us all. Vickie goes into crazy mode, yelling about how she runs this show and is going to take everything out on the fans. You know, because we haven’t done this same idea for the last year or so on Raw.

Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Before the match we get a clip from Raw of Ziggler breaking up with AJ and then having her cost him a match against Del Rio. A rollup sends Swagger to the floor as AJ and Langston are watching in the back. Back in and Dolph pounds away in the corner and takes Jack down with a dropkick. Cesaro trips Dolph off the apron and hits an uppercut, earning him an ejection along with Colter. Back in and a sunset flip gets two for Dolph but he has to escape the Patriot Lock. The Zig Zag is good for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D+. Ziggler was fine here and the fans loved him which is the right idea. It’s a lot easier to get behind a feud with Langston instead of Del Rio as the matches and promos will actually be entertaining. This is a big upgrade for Dolph as he can go after the title later on and get some character development against Big E.

Post match Ziggler says he’s sorry he dumped AJ on Monday because he should have done it a lot sooner. That’s the kind of stuff he’s been needing to say to help cement his face turn.

AJ freaks out in the back and throws a lot of chairs. Langston grabs her to calm her down and they look at each other but he kisses her on the forehead.

Seth Rollins/Roman Reigns vs. Usos

Non-title. The Usos charge the ring and the fight is on before the bell. Ambrose comes in as well until Mark Henry comes out to clear the ring. The good guys stand tall and Henry is a face.

Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett

The place goes NUTS for Bryan. Barrett catches a cross body and puts Bryan stomach first on the top rope for some forearms to the back. A slingshot into a backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a bow and arrow submission. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner and backflips over Barrett, only to be caught in the Winds of Change which are countered into a crucifix into the YES Lock for the submission at 1:54.

Maddox runs into Vickie in the back and Vickie slaps him in the face for taking her job.

Time for MizTV with guest Paul Heyman. Heyman says he doesn’t want to answer any of Miz’s questions but is cut off by a CM Punk chant. The fans don’t realize how hard this is for Heyman because he still loves Punk. He advises Punk to stay down and leave the WWE Universe behind because if he comes back Brock Lesnar will take his head off. Miz doesn’t believe a thing Heyman is saying because he swore on the life of his children and still lied. He walks out but Heyman introduces Axel as the man who beat Miz at MITB.

Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Chris Jericho

Axel takes over with a headlock to start but Jericho dropkicks him down. A top rope elbow to the jaw gets two for Jericho but Axel punches him back down. Axel cranks on an armbar but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two. Jericho tries to jump over the champion in the corner but gets clotheslined in the back of the head for two instead. The Codebreaker is countered into a spinebuster for two but Jericho sends him into the corner as we take a break.

Back with Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but going shoulder first into the post to stop his comeback. Axel misses a middle rope elbow and Jericho gets two off a quick enziguri to make Heyman even more nervous. Axel comes back with the McGillicutter for two but misses a dropkick, allowing the Lionsault to get two. Axel blocks the top rope ax handle into a PerfectPlex but Jericho counters into a Walls attempt.

Heyman distracts Jericho into dropping the hold but the second attempt has Axel in a lot of trouble. Curtis hangs on for a very long time and finally crawls over to the ropes. He goes to the floor but gets caught by a suicide dive from the Canadian. As they head back in though Heyman shouts at Jericho, allowing Axel to hit the neckbreaker/cutter for the pin at 9:15 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C. This was a decent back and forth match but Jericho going after the Intercontinental Title is hard to get into anymore. Axel still isn’t where they want him to be but he’s not a total disaster either. This was a fine enough way to kill fifteen minutes and the fans got into the Walls so there isn’t much to complain about here.

Post match Ryback comes out and destroys Jericho with a Shell Shock. This is Jericho’s last appearance for awhile as he’s going to be on tour with Fozzy.

Here’s Damien Sandow to talk about forgiveness with quotes from Gandhi. He did NOT screw Cody in the Money in the Bank match, which makes him wonder why Cody attacked him on Raw. We get a clip from Raw but Sandow says he isn’t going to hold this against Cody. That would make him a mouth breathing knuckle dragging halfwit like the audience. He invites Cody out here to talk through this because they’re still best friends.

Cody gets in the ring but Sandow says there’s no explanation required because he’s forgiven. Damien did prevent Cody from being Mr. Money in the Bank but Sandow has an olive branch for him: Cody can be the keeper of the case until Sandow is ready to cash it in. Cody has earned this but he hits Sandow in the head with the case, sending Damien running off. Rhodes throws the case at him and the fans seem quite pleased.

Rob Van Dam vs. Darren Young

Darren takes him down with an armdrag worth millions of dollars. Van Dam hits his step over kick and a standing moonsault for two, sending Young out to the floor. Back in and Titus distracts RVD’s Rolling Thunder attempt, allowing Young to take over for a bit. Van Dam comes back with a kick to the head and a springboard spinning cross body for two. A springboard kick to the face puts Young down and after kicking Titus to the floor, Van Dam hits the Five Star for the pin at 3:16.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here again but Van Dam getting another win makes sense. Also it’s nice to see people like the Players being used to put over bigger stars. A loss to a former world champion doesn’t hurt their credibility at all so why not do it more often? I still don’t see the appeal of Young but Titus at least has charisma.

The Raw ReBound focuses about the Wyatt Family.

Vickie offers to bury the hatchet with Teddy but she’s just kidding and has Teddy escorted out by security.

Big Show returns on Raw.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Orton rains down punches in the corner to start but Del Rio counters into the armbreaker over the ropes. He stomps away on Orton and chokes on the ropes for a few seconds. Orton bails to the floor to hold his arm but he drops Del Rio ribs first onto the barricade. Alberto whips him into the steps but Orton dropkicks Del Rio out of the air back inside. He loads up the powerslam but Del Rio holds the ropes to send Orton to the mat.

The armbreaker doesn’t go on full as Orton is in the ropes and Del Rio is getting frustrated. A backbreaker gets two on the champion but the Elevated DDT is countered by an enziguru for two. Del Rio kicks him in the shoulder and loads up an RKO of his own, only to be countered into the powerslam for two. The Elevated DDT connects but the RKO is countered into a Backstabber for two. Not that it matters as Orton rolls out of the armbreaker, ducks the superkick and hits the RKO for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C. Del Rio is officially a jobber to the stars. There was almost no chance he was going to beat Orton here and he lost clean to the RKO after two straight wins where he escaped through interference. The match was ok but nothing more than that as the ending was barely in doubt at all. Both guys were their usual selves here and didn’t seem all that interested in trying.

Overall Rating: D+. The show was just there this week with some ok matches but nothing we haven’t seen before. This is the kind of show that made Smackdown very boring for a long time and I really hope that doesn’t become the standard again. Vickie being GM again made me roll my eyes as this is her fourth stint as full time boss of a show. That sums up this episode: we’ve seen all this before.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Jack Swagger – Zig Zag

Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett – YES Lock

Curtis Axel b. Chris Jericho – Neckbreaker into a cutter

Rob Van Dam b. Darren Young – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio – RKO

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Saturday Night’s Main Event 33
Date: July 15, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re back four months later for another SNME. There’s really nothing being built up to here although I guess you could say Great American Bash, even though it was only a Smackdown PPV. This is really the last chance for SNME before it becomes just a throwaway show as we have Cena vs. Edge for the world title. There’s also an elimination match with DX vs. the Spirit Squad. I was at a fair when this show happened I think and watched it when I got home. Oh and ECW is here now. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Brooke as I have visions of TNA dancing in my head. Oh sorry I have a bad connection. That’s T&A dancing. I had a future vision of Brooke becoming the stripper she was born to be. Brooke says this is a dream of hers. I thought that was Hulk getting lost one day and not embarrassing her anymore. Hogan says Hulkamania is alive. Orton comes out and gives Brooke a rose and challenges him for Summerslam, which is on. Match sucked of course. Brooke stares at Orton as they leave.

Finlay/Booker T./Mark Henry vs. Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Batista

It’s Booker and Rey who is world champion at the moment, Lashley and Finlay who just won the US Title and Batista and Henry who have a number one contender’s match at the Bash. Batista of course gets a bigger pop than the world champion. Rey would lose it at the Bash in case you were wondering. They start this out just like you would expect it to before we have Batista and Henry with their big showdown.

Horny, not known as that yet, hits Rey to give the forces of evil the advantage. Cole asking how much more of him are we going to put up with amuses me. Rey has issues fighting Henry and we see how they screwed up his reign. No one bought him as anything because until he got Booker he was only against monsters which is freaking DUMB. Patrick throws up an X for some reason as someone is hurt I guess.

I think it was Henry if I remember correctly. Yeah it was as he whispers something to the referee before the X goes up. Yeah he didn’t have the match with Batista as I think Kennedy got it instead. Yeah he ripped his knee to shreds and split it in two. Batista gets the hot tag and ends Booker. Was Lashley ever even in the match? I’m actually not sure. That’s rather pathetic.

Rating: D+. Well if nothing else the feuds lined up. The match was complete and utter crap but that shouldn’t surprise anyone that’s been paying attention. There wasn’t much here as it was all the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION getting beaten on and Batista, NOT THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION making the save. Seriously I can’t get over how badly they messed him up as champion. It could have worked with bookers not muscle crazed writing it.

Vince tries to fire up the Spirit Squad while DX interrupts. Hijinks ensue. DX more or less do commentary on his promo which we can’t hear. They imply Vince likes being spanked.

We get a clip from the first round of Bikini Bull Riding and it’s Michelle vs. Victoria in the finals.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Carlito/Trish Stratus

Morrison is the IC Champion here and has Carlito soon and the same is true with the humans with vaginas. The girls start. Carlito was actually working hard at this point and actually caring so this is at least entertaining. And as soon as they come in Trish hits a Thesz Press to the floor and the Back Cracker ends it. Wow that was fast.

Rating: N/A. What was the point of this again? At least give them four minutes or so. Oh that’s right: we need bull riding.

Kevin Von Erich is here. Good to know.

DX vs. Spirit Squad

DX cuts a generic promo first. This is elimination rules with the eliminate people being put into a cage. The cage thing was added just before the match but they just happened to have them laying around I guess. Ok then. It amazes me that one of those people is Dolph freaking Ziggler. Shawn and Mikey start us out. Shawn hits all five guys in the head with the plastic megaphone and they huddle up.

HHH and an air horn break that up pretty quickly though. Mitch meets a boot and it’s 4-2 as we go to commercial. A spinebuster puts out Johnny. Kenny tries to leave and that goes badly for him. Apparently it’s a no holds barred match. Vince pops Shawn with a chair for general evil purposes I guess. On the DX DVD they air the stuff that happened in the commercials.

That’s actually interesting as if nothing else for extreme collectors it’s something that you might want for some reason. It’s different if nothing else. HHH more or less beats up all three guys by himself which makes sense here for a change. See you Nick. Ok make it 2-1 now. And you know the rest. Shawn superkicks Vince into the cage and we go to commercial.

Rating: D-. Way to make the champions look legit there guys. Seriously, HOW DID DX NEVER WIN THE TAG TITLES??? That makes less than no sense. They beat these guys about 10 times and they never won the stupid belts. That’s where they lost what little credibility they had. Actually that’s because of male cheerleaders having them. Never mind.

Sabu is in the WWE. Good to know.

Khali and Daivari are in the ring and say they’ll beat Taker. Show comes out and says he’s the real giant. Taker comes out and you know the rest. Taker goes through a table. The Khali Taker match never happened mind you.

Show hypes up his match with taker on Tuesday on ECW which is actually a cool idea that they need to go back to: a guest competitor on the show to fight the champion once a week. It would give us a reason to watch or something I guess, even though the show is already cool.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

And here’s your token ECW match that no one will care about. This is an extreme rules match thank goodness. Richards is talented if nothing else. He doesn’t get an entrance though so there we are. Sabu kind of hits a triple jump moonsault but kind of doesn’t which is a good result for him. It’s table time and an Arabian Facebuster later we’re done.

Rating: N/A. Sabu would be gone in a few weeks as Van Dam and he had gotten caught in the car with the pot and the kettle and the dinette set.

Orton hits on Brooke more and then RKOs Hulk on a car which didn’t actually connect but whatever.

After another commercial it’s time for the bull riding thing. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled. McCool, the teacher here, is first. Not a bikini but whatever. Ross is ticked off at Orton so he won’t talk. I really don’t like him at times. She lasts 12 seconds. Victoria is a half cowboy and half Indian. We get a nice back shot if nothing else. She’s off in 7 seconds so McCool wins. I don’t care either. This took less than 2 minutes total.

Lita and good night how is she staying in that top? Wow. Anyway she and Edge are on the way.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena

Anyone think this is going to work at all? We get the big match intros which I always love. And we’re at a commercial a minute in. This is going to suck isn’t it? Edge is more or less dominating here and keeps putting Cena down at every turn. Edge needs that one big win in his career and he’s never really gotten it.

It’s nice having a title match here. It makes the show feel important if nothing else. The BOO YAY thing gets going with the fans being on Edge’s side. Cena CENAS UP but Lita pulls the referee out for the FU for the cheap DQ. Cena responds by FUing Edge from the stairs through the table to end this and the show.

Rating: C-. Not bad but way too short to be good. These two have fought about a thousand times as you know from the thread in the wrestling sections a few days/weeks ago. This was fine and it was a title match on SNME so I can’t complain on that front. Nothing great at all but I’ve seen far worse.

Overall Rating: D. There’s very little here but at least the first and last matches made sense. Again though you could really feel that there was no point at all to this and it was just a total mess of a show. No one really cared about it from a fans’ perspective but there’s some watchable stuff so that’s fine I guess. Take a look at this one maybe as it’s the 2nd best of the revived shows.

 

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Victory Road 2008
Date: July 13, 2008
Location: Reliant Arena, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So this is just another PPV despite what TNA would want you to think. The main event is Joe vs. Booker as we’re in Booker’s home town and Joe has had issues with Booker for awhile. I’m starting to remember these feuds more concretely now so I might actually have some insight. This is also the final round of the World X Cup which is kind of like an Olympics thing TNA did that I never really thought was all that special although there are a lot that do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about NASA and doing things never before done. Kind of weak but I can live with that. Just what is a Victory Road though?

The set looks like an old Nitro set. I think I like that. Ultimate X is back tonight and there’s a Fan’s Choice match tonight.

JB is outside and we’re asked what we want in the 6 man: falls count anywhere, tables, or full metal mayhem (TNA’s TLC). Polls are open until 11 tonight, which is after the show ends. Brilliance.

Lauren (GORGEOUS) is with BG James who says absolutely nothing of note.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshima/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

This is a 12 man four corners elimination match. Coming into this the standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with three points and the other two with two points. This is for three points. I’ll do what I can to tell the people apart but don’t expect much. Apparently it’s EVERY MEMBER has to be eliminated. I miss Curry Man.

 

Daniels can shake his hips when he has to which is odd to type if nothing else. The Guns are starting to come into their own here and it’s working to an extent. Pretty soon they would be jobbing to big teams rather than just bad ones. Curry and Yoshino start us off.

 

And here are the Guns to beat the tar out of him. West points out how it’s smart to stay on the apron because it’s easier to stay in the match by being out of it, which actually makes sense. All of Team Mexico beats up Williams as this is a total mess at this point due to so many people being in it.

 

Dux goes for a victory roll but Bucanero drops into it kind of like a piledriver (think Owen vs. Bret at Mania X but more like a spike than a rollup if that makes sense) to get us down to eleven which is still too many. Team Japan beats the tar out of Bucanero in some painful looking stuff.

 

We crank the speed up a lot here and Puma is gone. There are two referees here thank goodness. What kind of a name is Milano Collection AT? It sounds like a cookie company or something. Cradle Shock takes him out anyway. That leaves just Yoshima for Team Japan.

 

West points that out and Tenay of course repeats it like 8 seconds later. Shelley hits a SWEET baseball slide on him while he’s in the Tree of Woe. He catches Shelley in an Octopus hold which is one of the most painful holds ever but of course just lets it go since it’s not that important I guess.

Shelley is just beating the heck out of Yoshino. Averno and Yoshino have a very nice high speed sequence as Yoshino is just trying to hang on. Averno gets pinned off a rollup though so we have one down for International and Mexico, two down for Japan, and TNA is intact. Chaos Theory on Sabin is broken up at two.

 

Team Mexico hit a pair of springboard cross bodies which looked great. Williams’ face is great when he gets nailed with a high spot. Guerrero hits a middle rope powerbomb on Curry Man to get us down to seven people left. That’s bearable at least. A crazy double team gets rid of Williams. I know I’m saying a lot really fast here but there’s no transition between a lot of these pins.

 

It’s the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Yoshino vs. Kozlov vs. Guerrero and Bucanero. Guerrero hits a gordbuster off the top for two on Kozlov. Kozlov gets a SWEET Russian Leg Sweep into a Cobra Stretch a la Delirious for the tap from Guerrero. This is FAST. Sabin hits a GREAT hurricanrana into a double super kick on Bucanero to get rid of Team Mexico. That clears things up a lot.

 

Since it’s a multiman match, it’s…actually not a Tower of Doom even though they were in position for one. All four are in the ring for a long time as they’re not even trying to have a coherent match at this point and I can’t really blame them. Sabin does the same run after the other guy thing that DiBiase does but hooks a Diamond Cutter instead of a clothesline. This is rather good stuff.

 

Kozlov goes heel and pulls the referee in front of him before rolling Sabin up and using the ropes to get rid of him. We’re down to Yoshino, Shelley and Kozlov here. Kozlov hits a great enziguri to counter a dive that missed for two on Yoshino. Sick looking move. Kozlov taps to Yoshino and we’re down to one on one.

 

Shelley kicks his head off and Sliced Bread gets two only. I would have bet on that being the end. A PAINFUL looking Tiger Suplex gets two. Shelley just goes OFF and hits something like a reverse Emerald Flowsion for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a hard one to grade as it’s very different from anything most people will be used to. It’s definitely a great match as far as athleticism and showing off, but at the same time nearly half an hour is a bit much. This was definitely good though and a GREAT way to get the crowd fired up.

 

The problem though is what Don West says immediately after the final pin: I’m exhausted from watching that. I think that could be a problem as that’s likely to be the most exciting thing all night long. Hopefully not though.

Updated Standings:

TNA – 6
Japan – 4
International – 3
Mexico – 3

We run down the rest of the card which we’ve already paid for at this point.

We see Booker’s “Homecoming” which is just a tour of his house and how much stuff he has. It’s a nice house if nothing else, but this is nothing but a waste of time.

We recap Angelina vs. Gail which is over Love interfering which allegedly is about her being jealous. I didn’t realize that Beautiful People were two and a half years old.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Just Love and Sky at this point and a bit more conservative. We hear about how proud Kim is to be a Knockout. Yep, proud enough that she bailed on the company for more money. Velvet interferes early to give Love the advantage. The BP weren’t that good in the ring yet at this point so they had to cheat.

 

Kim gets a Figure Four around the post but doesn’t lean back with it so it just looks weird. This is a pretty basic match but it’s working fairly well I think. Kim busts out a Codebreaker and a neckbreaker for the pin. Kind of anti-climactic ending but what do you expect? Post match Gail avoids a double beatdown.

Rating: D. Just not that good. I know Love is pretty bad in the ring but still this just wasn’t a very good match at all. Love was still getting used to wrestling and while Kim is good, she’s not good enough to carry something like this. Good to see her get the win though which is the right thing.

Lauren and BG James are with the 12 “fans” armed with leather straps for the Fan’s Revenge match tonight.

We recap Lethal vs. Dutt which was supposed to be an homage to the Mega Powers or something like that but it didn’t work at all. So Cal Val being around a lot was nice though.

Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt

So Lethal is Randy Savage and Dutt is an Indian peace man or something. Dutt gives Val a rose and a card and the fight is on. It’s ALL Lethal to start us off here. Lethal misses a dropkick by about two feet but it’s sold anyway. That makes my head hurt. Tenay says Guru like Gru so it’s very annoying.

 

Dutt goes for a slingshot move. I assume he did at least as that’s what Tenay said. Not like we got to see it or anything. This is fast paced but no one really cares it seems. I mean really, an homage to a 20 year old angle with these two? Seriously? This is mostly Dutt in control but we’re at about look #38 at Val. We get it: she’s hot and concerned.

 

Lethal takes over but Val gets nervous and Dutt nails him. Dutt says he loves Val, and the camera work is KILLING this match. Val gets involved AGAIN and this time it lets Dutt roll Lethal up for the pin. Dutt kisses her hand before leaving. Of course Val would turn on Lethal later as EVERYONE expected.

Rating: D. Like I said, the cameras killed this as they were constantly looking at Val and missing spots because of it. A lot of the time it’s better to just keep the camera on the ring and don’t worry about the hot chick.

 

Either way, this wasn’t going to be that good anyway as they kept doing the same thing (fight a bit, look at Val, lose control because of it) and that was how the match ended. Just an overly long and not that good of a match.

Recap of Beer Money vs. LAX who are feuding because…well because LAX have the belts and Beer Money are challengers. No reasons for the Fans’ Revenge stuff but whatever.

Beer Money and Jackie talk about being mad. Seriously, can someone shoot Jackie?

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX

Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here.

 

Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie. So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say?

 

I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit. Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.

 

This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.

Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?

More of Booker, this time at the PWA training center where we see some of his guys wrestling. That’s actually kind of cool, but it’s making him look like a face when he’s the heel. Oh right it’s TNA.

We recap Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong, which can be summed up as Wilde was a fan from the crowd that was given a title match and won it. Yeah that’s really all there is to it.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

No intro for Kong here either. Makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Yep Wilde is hot. Not sure why I was ever unsure on that one at all. Kong dominates early on as you would expect as the camera work stays bad. Kong hooks a camel clutch of all things which is a move that works for her actually.

 

Wilde is more or less just fighting for all she can but when she grabs Kong by the hair, Kong flicks her into the corner BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW! Kong takes her head off with a clothesline because she can. Wilde hits an armdrag off the top and is STUNNED yes STUNNED I say when she only gets two. I love idiotic wrestlers.

 

Wilde reverses the Implant Buster into a victory roll to get ANOTHER pin on Kong. Kong and Saed beat her up afterwards….and Abyss makes the save. Uh, reason? Black Hole Slam to Saed and we’re done here.

Rating: C-. At least they kept it short. Wilde was at least something new, but she more or less killed Kong’s character. She was hot though so she worked fine. She’s a good worker though so we need Rosie Lotta Love instead. Anyway, this wasn’t terrible but it’s far from good either.

Booker and Sharmell have dinner at Booker’s restaurant but Booker insists on making sure the portions are small and the drinks are watered down. Booker more or less says he’s the biggest businessman in Houston. Well they’re trying at least.

We get a 10 second look at NASA stuff. WOW.

Here’s a video package on Ultimate X. No commentary needed apparently.

Ultimate X: Kaz vs. Volador Jr. vs. Naruki Doi vs. Daivari

This is for four points apparently, so more or less the winner wins everything, making the entire previous three rounds totally pointless. Daivari is allegedly predictable in this. Ok then. West thinks Kaz is the favorite because of his experience letting him know that he’ll know how to win earlier. YOU CLIMB UP AND GRAB THE FREAKING X! How hard is this? Daivari wisely goes after Kaz’s arm.

 

That makes the most sense here if nothing else. Oh and only Kaz is a face here. We can’t have nice foreigners! West says Kaz is close to being a world champion. Oh the comedy! For about the 1000th time tonight we’re told about being allowed to vote for the stipulation tonight. WE GET IT!

 

Oh and also, great idea on telling us to stop watching your show so we can go get our computers to vote on something on the show later on. In other words, a stipulation for later on in the night is more important than the match you’re watching at the moment. Volador is pretty fun to watch. Kaz manages to get above the X and almost unhooks it but Daivari makes the save.

 

It worked as it’s not like Kaz had a long time up there like in a ladder match so it didn’t look completely ridiculous which is a very nice difference. Also he used his legs to get there so he kept selling the arm from earlier.

 

In a MIND BLOWING spot, Daivari is going across a cable with his back facing the ring so he’s looking up at the ceiling. Kaz climbs up to the metal thing that holds up the cables and JUMPS off of it, crashing down with a clothesline onto Daivari and killing himself in the process. That was INCREDIBLE. It also lets Volador go up and get the X for the win and the Cup.

Rating: B. This was another great high impact battle that worked perfectly for what it was supposed to do. I wasn’t sure who was going to win and I was thinking it would have been Team TNA but a surprise is always good. This was your usual crazy spotfest but it worked quite well.

Team Mexico accepts the trophy.

Booker T has a golf course and apparently is very good, even as good as Tiger Woods.

Frank Trigg is here and is doing commentary.

We recap Angle and the Dudleys vs. Christian, Rhyno and AJ. AJ accidentally married Karen. I know, I know. Just go with it. Kurt is ticked about it as Angle’s wife is sleeping with her husband AJ. See what I have to deal with here?

Kurt Angle/Team 3D vs. AJ Styles/Rhyno/Christian Cage

Team 3D beat up Christian and Rhyno to explain why they’re here. More or less it’s two feuds in one here to fill time. Eh I tend to hate that but I can live with it I guess. Dang AJ needs to be a face again. Angle hides at the broadcast table to jump AJ and it’s Full Metal Mayhem, which more or less is a TLC match where you win by pin.

 

Sweet goodness people is it THAT hard to keep a coherent camera shot? Trigg isn’t that great on commentary and I continue to wonder why he’s here. Angle goes off with a chair as this is just a total mess. AJ hits a sweet move as he jumps up to the top of a ladder with a springboard then off of it onto Bubba with a forearm. I LOVE that move. Christian goes up to the top of the Ultimate X structure and dives off.

 

You know that would have looked way better if we could have seen how far down he came if the camera hadn’t been above him. THAT is the stuff I have to deal with here. Rhyno gores everyone and of course can’t get a pin on anyone. So of course he takes a Doomsday Device through a table. What? You can’t see the clear transition there?

 

We’re just going from spot to spot here with no flow at all and it’s really very annoying. Christian blocks the running belly to belly and then gets 3D’d through a table. This match is making my head hurt. BUBBA HITS A SUPERKICK! AND NOT A  BAD ONE AT THAT! AJ has been 3-1 for like 4 minutes now.

 

He needs better partners. He puts both Dudleys through tables and hits the Styles Clash for two on Angle. And here’s Johnny Devine. WHERE ARE CHRISTIAN AND RHYNO??? Angle Slam gets two. Angle shoves Hebner and of course he hurts his ankle.

 

Can we get a strong referee? AJ sets up a table and a ladder but Trigg hits AJ with a kendo stick and Angle gets the Slam through a table for the pin. Literally, Christian and Rhyno were nowhere to be seen for at least 5 minutes straight at the end and the whole thing was 15 minutes.

Rating: D. This was the biggest mess I’ve seen in a long time. There was no flow anywhere near this as it was just spot after spot. Also, Christian and Rhyno being gone for that long is ridiculous. If they wanted to do AJ vs. Angle then they should have done AJ vs. Angle. Just a total mess but there were some good spots in there. Plus, Bubba doing a superkick is hilarious stuff.

Joe says he’s not afraid and tells Nash to stay in the back. He’s the mentor that of course is going to turn on him later on.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Booker T

They’re trying to make this an epic match but I’m not getting the Austin/Rock vibes here. And now let’s have another video package. Now let’s watch both of them walk from the back. Why can’t Joe be this much of a monster now? We hear the beginning of his music and go to ANOTHER video about Joe. Seriously, is this necessary? Also why did he put the belt on his other shoulder during the video?

 

We get the IF JOE WINS WE RIOT sign. No, you won’t. See, in ECW it’s effective because they would have actually rioted. These people won’t and they know it. To kill more time we do big match intros. They chop it out and we’re just in the feeling out stages of course.

 

The fans are about 80% behind Booker here which is exactly what you would expect of him. We hit the floor and Booker takes over and busts Joe open. We’re at shot of Sharmell #8 after less than ten minutes. This is far from epic but it’s not bad I guess. Joe goes aerial a bit which wasn’t bad. There’s a lot of striking in the middle of the ring here and there goes the referee.

 

That’s so clichéd it’s not even funny anymore. We head to the floor for more chops and strikes that aren’t anything special. Joe does get a nice Ole Kick on the floor (Youtube it). Ok, we know what Sharmell looks like. We don’t need to see her every 18 seconds. Joe gets slapped by her and beats up her body guards. Oh and the referee is still down and hasn’t moved and therefore could be dead but no one checks on him. Great guys in TNA.

 

Booker is busted too. Ah there’s a second referee. Joe beats both of the other referees up. They were kind of going for an Austin/Taker insanity thing here and it’s not working really. The idea is he can’t beat Booker and he’s snapping and just beating the tar out of him for it.

 

Security hits the ring and down they go. Sharmell is in the ring as I know where this is going. He puts Booker in a choke and Sharmell screams for help. And cue Sting. There’s Bound for Glory’s main event. Sting gets him to leave and then he goes back to the ring to beat on Booker more.

 

Joe flips him off and says F you which earns him some bat shots. West asking why Sting is doing this cracks me up. Sharmell counts a three and Booker takes the belt. That would set up a cage match between Booker and Joe next month. The announcers being in SHOCK, yes SHOCK I say, ends it.

Rating: C-. While I’ve seen far worse, this wasn’t much at all. The whole insane brawling was a bit much and Joe snapping like that sucked. It set up next month and Bound For Glory even better but at the same time it was just boring. Joe was still decent here and the crowd was white hot though so points for that. Like I said, I’ve seen worse.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t much, although it was better than the previous year’s show by far. The key thing here is that something actually happened. We ended the World X Cup, we move forward in the Joe/Booker feud as well as the Sting feud.

Angle vs. AJ is more or less set for Hard Justice and we had some new angles open up. Now don’t get me wrong: the show mostly sucked, but there’s a point to it which is the most important thing here. Not terrible, but the X Cup stuff is worth seeing if you’re bored and want something a bit different. The rest, not so much.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

Halloween Havoc 2000
Date: October 29, 2000
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 7,582
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re in the dying days of the company here as with so few shows to go there’s really no reason for me to not finish these off. Goldberg is face again after that disaster of a heel turn for him. It’s more or less a double main event tonight with him vs. Kronik. The idea is that he has to break his original winning streak to get a title shot or he retires. The other match is Booker vs. Steiner for the title. Yeah not much has changed. Let’s get to it.

Wow that announce team scares me to death. For some reason Stevie got a big push late in WCW’s run and became a commentator. No one is really sure why.

Pamela (GORGEOUS) asks some fans if Goldberg wins or loses. They’re split.

Standard IT’S HALLOWEEN promo starts us off. Sting vs. Jarrett is a big match too apparently. Oh it’s that show isn’t it. This show has one of the dumbest matches I’ve ever seen so we need to get into this before I stab myself over that.

Tony says this is in fact SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT. I give up.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

AWOL has a hardcore title match next so he just hangs out and sets up a table. WCW guys come out and attach trash cans full of weapons to the posts.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno so this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes.  It looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear.

More Thrillers come down for the post match beatdown until the Misfits come out for the save.

Shane talks to the Thrillers which either isn’t live or Palmbo managed to get to the back and get dressed inside of 6 seconds. Ah ok it’s earlier today. Nash has put Douglas in charge of the Thrillers for the night. Sure why not.

Goldberg was hurt on Thunder apparently.

Kronik is looking for Goldberg who isn’t here yet. They want some beer. See they were big strong guys that beat people up for money and drank beer. Yeah you get the idea.

Perfect Event vs. Misfits in Action

Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo vs. Lieutenant Loco (Chavo)/Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux) for those of you unfamiliar. This was signed seconds ago. Well of course it was. Stasiak has been a problem in the group apparently so expect that to cause the loss for them. Chavo and Stasiak start us off here as this is just a basic tag team match.

Chavo plays Ricky Morton as I could not be less interested in this match while still writing about it. We get the second release date for Backstage Assault in the last ten minutes. One thing says Halloween and one thing says not until December. The game sucked anyway so it’s not like it really mattered. According to Tony there used to be a limit to the amount of saves a partner could make in a match. I’ve heard of that before actually so it’s not as insane as it sounds.

NICE overhead belly to belly by Palumbo to Chavo as it’s all Perfect Event. Hot tag to Cajun who was underrated I think. A bad sleeper from Palumbo has Cajun in trouble for bad acting. The referee is Scott Armstrong, as in the blonde guy that used to be in WWE with the hitch in his count.

If you’re going to use the sleeper, at least do something other than having an arm in front of the throat Palumbo. Soon afterwards everything goes nuts and like I said before heel miscommunication leads to Palumbo kicking Stasiak and a tornado DDT from Chavo ends it.

Rating: D+. This was just there. It’s about ten minutes long and nothing at all of note happens in it. Two teams had a wrestling match on a show for the company they work for. That’s all that happened here. It was just ok and this was once again one of the issues with WCW: matches on PPV had no point at all, much like this one.

Kidman and Rey won’t sub for Konnan who is still hurt.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Konnan/Tygress

Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman and DANG. Shane cuts his usual awful promo about how the whole injury thing earlier was planned. Sure why not. No Konnan to start us off. Tygress sets for a Bronco Buster (FACE FULL OF STUFF according to Madden) is blocked and there is still no Konnan. We saw him heading to the ring before the match started and here he is from through the crowd. Did he get lost or something? Was he following a trail of popcorn maybe?

Rolling clothesline hits Shane as Konnan is wearing a Vince Carter Team USA jersey. We get something close to an actual tag match finally with the guys in there. And so much for that as Tygress beats her up. Tony shows the idiocy of himself as he’s shocked that a woman can do a wristlock. You know, in a company where there was a Women’s Cruiserweight Title.

Shane punches Tygress to send her down as this is boring already. Mixed tags rarely work and this is no exception. Torrie can’t wrestle. That’s all there is to it. Madden makes sex jokes as Stevie calls a camel clutch a Boston Crab. Oh wait we have to call it a Steiner Recliner. Sure why not.

Why did Shane Douglas keep getting work? He was only worth anything in ECW and even there it wasn’t much. Outside of that though, no one was ever interested and yet he kept getting pushes. Konnan comes in and seems to be just fine of course. More Bronco Busters as this needs to end badly. And then Konnan does a double facebuster on the heels to win it. Thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Torrie looked good. The rest of this is a failure. Was there a point anywhere here? If there was I missed it completely. Totally boring match with nothing going on at all and Tygress being in the ring more often than not. There’s nothing else to say here at all.

David Flair has a First DNA match tonight to find out who slept with his girlfriend and fathered her child. He has two guys in labcoats with him. Again, two more guys that get a PPV paycheck here that are completely unneeded.

Buff Bagwell vs. David Flair

This is a first blood match. Buff cuts a basic promo early on about David being rather small. David is a guy I felt sorry for as he had more or less zero talent but he kept going out there and trying as hard as he could in a spot he flat out was not ready for but was there because of his last name being Flair. It wasn’t his fault though so it’s hard to get on him.

David is slammed off the top as this is one sided so far as it should be. Since this is a first blood match, both guys use a lot of slams and work on the other guy’s back. Flair finally swings a chair which of course misses. Chair shot to David and the somehow best wrestler in this match, Buff Bagwell, has David in trouble. Yeah Flair is bleeding and the referee doesn’t seem to care. Buff throws in a Blockbuster just for fun as the referee finally sees it.

Rating: F. Another stupid match. We have a five minute first blood match of course because clearly this needed a gimmick. This went nowhere at all and was almost pure dominance by Bagwell.

Luger comes down and beats up Bagwell with Tony shouting about how many times is Luger going to turn on people. Buff’s mouth is busted open and David gets a sample from it. David walks toward the back as Goldberg is getting here, an hour into the show. This was supposed to end with Russo sleeping with Stacy which thankfully never happened.

Steiner cuts another generic promo.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

Ok, this is one of those matches that you just have to go with. This is a kickboxing match between a wrestler (Sanders) and a karate dude (Ernest Miller) for the Commissionership of WCW. There are three two minute rounds. You can only win by knockout as in after a ten count as well. Somehow this is by far the simplest aspect of the thing by the end of the match.

The winner is the Commissioner, which about five people have been in the past 12 months. Perfect Event is at ringside with Sanders and Cat’s chick, Ms. Jones, is with him. Miller, someone actually trained in this, of course destroys him for the most part. Round one ends and of course they fight even more after the bell.

There are no points or judges or anything so if no one is knocked out by the end of the rounds I have no idea what happens. To be fair I have no idea what is happening in the match itself so it balances out I guess. At about a minute gone by in the SECOND round, both of which are TWO MINUTES long, Tony says it’s been about four minutes so far. Do I even need to make fun of this anymore?

Sanders gets drilled by a punch and the Perfect Event argues over whether or not to throw in the towel. Sanders wants it in but the bell rings and he can’t leave yet. And here’s Shane Douglas here to be annoying I guess. Since it’s a wrestling show, the referee is on the floor arguing during the match. Cat gets a cartwheel kick to END Sanders.

Palumbo gets in again and Douglas pops Miller with a chain. The referee does the SLOWEST COUNT EVER, being at 6 with 20 seconds left but Miller is saved by the bell. Madden gets popped. Keep in mind that the match is over. Miller hits the floor and the referee starts counting as Miller brawls with Douglas and Sanders wins after the match is over.

Rating: N/A. To sum this up, a wrestler beat a martial artist in a kickboxing match after he beat the bell when a guy hit him with a chain but was counted out for leaving the ring to brawl with a guy not in the match after the fight was over to lose the commissionership of a major wrestling company. And Vince Russo made 2 million dollars a year for this. Let that sink in the next time you get your paycheck.

A doctor talks to Goldberg who insists he’s fine.

Kronik says they don’t care if they wrestle tonight as they get paid either way.

Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome

It’s That 70s Guy here which is yet another instance where WCW blows what could have been someone special. This is Vampiro’s last match with WCW so who do you think wins it? Vampiro has been extra evil or something lately and hates Awesome just because. Awesome has some title shot coming and Vampiro wants it on the line. Awesome, having nothing to gain, says sure.

Big plancha to the floor by Mike to half kill Vampiro. Dang he was great back in the day. Naturally since he was young and good he was made into a comedy character. We head into the crowd now and it’s all Awesome. A fan jumps Awesome and he’s in trouble people that need to drink to get through a show this bad.

Vampiro grabs a chair for both guys and we have a duel. Just wasting time now as not a lot is going on. Vampiro goes for a top rope belly to belly but he more or less just drops Awesome, letting him fly through the air and do all of the work, making it look bad. Awesome busts out a table which makes this at least the second match with them in it. Since they were used earlier, not a lot of people care here.

Stevie wants to know why this is legal and gets no answer. Stevie freaking Ray is the voice of reason on this show. The same Stevie Ray that had a segment called Suckas Gots To Know. Anyway Vampiro hits his finisher and looks for more weapons because he’s an idiot. Madden gets a Ghostbusters line in to make this a bit easier. Sitout Awesome Bomb on the floor as this is now falls count anywhere I guess.

Back in the ring as Vampiro takes an Awesome Bomb from the top rope for the academic pin. In other words the table means absolutely nothing as it wasn’t used at all. And of course we have a solid enough match like that and we get That 70s Guy music and go to General Rection. Nothing wrong with that is there?

Rating: C-. Not bad here and very physical. Awesome would change gimmicks eventually and get back to just being a tough guy but it was too late. Vampiro is a guy I never got at all and to this day I still don’t. This was ok though as Awesome just beat the crap out of him. The rules made no sense but that’s WCW for you.

Rection tries as well as he can to make this work but he’s still named General Rection.

We get a replay of the powerbomb. Is there a reason we needed to go to the interview before we saw that?

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

Preview for Mayhem which Tony says is on Monday. Are days of the week really that hard?

Jarrett says he’s going to show that Sting has no spirit anymore. Can these two feud over anything else? He promises to see the evolution of Sting’s career tonight. Oh crap it’s THAT match.

Quick video here that says the same things the promo says.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett runs to start and Sting drills him. We fight on the floor and Sting dominates. Brock Lesnar just lost the UFC Title so I’m a bit stunned still. Splash misses but Sting braces himself and never loses control. And now we have a guy on the stage dressed like Sting was in the late 80s. Sting (I’ll use the name Sting for the real one) beats up the imitation and Death Drops him on the stage.

Madden: can you get disqualified for beating yourself up? That’s actually a decent question. The distraction allows Jarrett to take over and we go into the crowd. Out of the crowd (and what a coincidence that Sting took them to the perfect place) a 1990 Sting appears. One of the fake Stings (oh you know more are coming) is Chris Harris of TNA fame. Another Death Drop leaves him laying.

Cue the Wolfpack Sting and it’s the red paint Sting. Dang we skipped like 8 years in there. We get into a discussion of whether the Wolfpack was heel or face as the third fake Sting goes down but Jarrett picks up the bat and pops Sting which the referee is fine with I guess. And we get another sleeper now which even Madden makes fun of. When that fat jerk is making jokes about you that are correct, you have issues.

Sting makes the comeback and hooks a sleeper of his own just to bore us a bit more. Here’s the real comeback as he avoids a dropkick and goes for the Scorpion. And of course a fourth Sting pops up from under the ring (I think this is Harris) and pulls him through the ring. Fans boo the HECK out of this as Sting beats him up too. Stinger Splash hits twice and there go the lights.

The fifth fake Sting repels from the ceiling (can they please get their continuity right?) and Sting beats him down too. His wig falls off and Sting puts him through the table. It would have been nice if the table didn’t break BEFORE the impact but whatever. Back in the ring Sting goes for the Scorpion but Sting #4 pops him with a guitar. This is no sold but Jarrett’s guitar shot ends it. I give up.

Rating: R. As in only Russo can be blamed for this idiocy. Screw wrestling (it’s Jarrett/Sting. Do you really think it’s going to be bad?) apparently for the sake of insanity and FUN booking right? Two million dollars a year. Let that sink in again guys. How is a Scott Steiner match sounding like relief?

Booker talks about Goldberg for no apparent reason.

Brief Steiner video follows as we repair the ring.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Wow that was a quick fixing job on the ring. Ok apparently Booker changed the card order so Goldberg could have extra time. My face more or less says what the heck as I heard that but I want to get this show over with so I’ll let it go. Also the champion is coming out first here. In the back Steiner freaks out and beats up an agent because they’re not on last.

Was there any point to that? I get the concept of it making Steiner seem even crazier but did it add anything at all? They try to make this out to be some huge match but it’s not working at all. After a brief opening sequence Steiner goes out into the crowd after a fan. He was legit crazy for awhile so of course he got bigger and bigger pushes throughout the year.

Steiner throws some STIFF shots that sound very painful. We head into the crowd now as nothing of note is going on. Steiner puts Booker through the announce table as Stevie gets in a somewhat funny line: “Tony that’s the last table that we have!” The delivery was better than it sounds.

Surfboard by Steiner which thank goodness doesn’t end with a curb stomp. He yells at Stevie a lot as this is pretty much dominance. Steiner blocks the Axe Kick and it’s all Scotty here. Samoan Drop from the middle rope gets no cover. At this point there are fifteen minutes in the entire broadcast and we have an elimination handicap match to go. Spinning belly to belly gets two.

Stevie keeps harping on the fact that Scott will never be a champion. Takes one to know one I guess eh Stevie? Almost all Steiner here other than a little here and there from the champion. Missile dropkick hits for two which is surprising as that was one of his signature moves. Axe kick (complete with Steiner just standing there hunched over forever) hits for two.

Midajah (Steiner’s Freak) slips him a pipe which drills Booker in the knee which isn’t a DQ. The referee yells at him so the referee gets beaten up and put in a Tree of Woe. A second referee comes in during the Steiner Recliner so Steiner beats him up too. Even Madden is confused here, but that could be because someone asked him his name. The third referee comes in to DQ Steiner and the pipe beats up every referee and security guard in sight.

Rating: D. Another crap match here with a bad ending. Steiner DESTROYED the champion here for the most part and it looked horrible. Steiner would get the title the next month anyway which makes me wonder why in the world they didn’t go with that ending here. Steiner looked dominant here, making Booker look like a paper champion for the next month. Nice job WCW.

Jarrett has to come down to calm him down afterwards.

Package on Kronik vs. Goldberg. Russo hired them to beat Goldberg. End of story.

Goldberg vs. Kronik

Kronik’s music hits with about 8 minutes to go in the broadcast. Adams is freaking talking now. He says Goldberg hasn’t been cleared so there’s no match tonight. After the debacle of 1998’s version of this show how stupid are they? Their music plays and we cut to the back to see the athletic commission saying Goldberg is fine. His music hits with six minutes to go so we have his FULL ENTRANCE too.

Four and a half minutes to go with his pyro hitting. This is going to be so stupid. He’s in the ring with four minutes left and this is already horrible looking. No tagging here. They throw him to the floor and it’s just a brawl. Not a good one or anything but a brawl nonetheless. Even Tony says this isn’t a match. Nice to see him just admit it. Double clothesline puts Bill down.

We get ANOTHER TABLE as even Madden and Tony roll their eyes at this. Tony: We’re NEVER out of tables. Stevie: WHY DIDN’T WE GET THAT ONE? High Time (Double Chokeslam) through the table is blocked. Goldberg spears Clark (Tony gets the name wrong) through the table to end him as we’re told he has to beat both guys. Naturally this lasts like 30 seconds and the spear/Jackhammer end it. Three and a half minute main event. We’re off the air 20 seconds after the pin.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV was a squash match that lasted three and a half minutes with former tag champions getting ended that fast. Do I need to explain why this was a failure?

Overall Rating: F-. This is one of the worst PPVs I can remember in a LONG time. There is all of one decent match on the card and like I said it went downhill after that. Stupid booking and stupid gimmicks all around and the show sucked because of it. Just a horrible show and the epitome of a lot of the things wrong with Russo. The world title match ended in a DQ and the main event didn’t break 200 seconds. You tell me why this sucked.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

 

You’ll often hear about how Bobby Roode is the best thing in TNA right now and has been for the last few years. I see talent in him, but he’s not quite superstar that everyone thinks he is. There’s just something missing about him and today we’re going to look at what that may be, although it’s not as hard to find as you may think. The thing holding him back can be found in two men: Booker T and Bret Hart. Let’s get to it.

 

Let’s start back in 1991.

 

The Hart Foundation loses the tag belts at Wrestlemania VII and quietly split so Bret can move on to his long awaited singles push. He wins the Intercontinental Title at Summerslam and moves on to the world title about 15 months later. his first world title reign doesn’t go all that well and he loses the belt about four months later at Wrestlemania IX. he wins the title back at Wrestlemania X and goes on to become the guy in the WWF for the next few years.

 

Now let’s look at Booker T. Harlem Heat goes on sabbatical in late 1997 due to Stevie Ray’s injury and Booker wins the TV Title the night after Starrcade. Over the next few years he dominates the midcard and wins the world title in the summer of 2000. While WCW would be out of business in less than a year, Booker’s ascension to the main event was handled quite well with Booker going from a solid midcarder to the top star the company had. He transitioned to the WWF main event scene and eventually won a world title there after rising through their ranks.

 

On the third hand you have Bobby Roode, who also went from a successful tag team to the world title and being one of the top stars in the company. Roode held the world title longer than anyone in company history, yet I don’t think there’s much of a case to be made for his title reign meaning all that much. Bobby turned heel after a match with James Storm and held the title for about nine months, yet he never became all that big a deal. Now why is that the case?

 

What we have here are three cases of guys going from a successful tag team and becoming the world champion later in their career. Of these three, Booker’s first title win and reign might have made the most sense. Bret’s title win came out of nowhere at a house show in Canada that was released on a Coliseum Video called Smack Em Whack Em (check that tape out. It’s one of the best home videos ever released). Roode’s win came on Impact a few weeks after the biggest show of the year. Booker’s came on PPV (albeit as a substitute for Hogan).

 

So what was holding Roode back? There are several instances and all can be compared to the other two title reigns.

 

First of all, there’s the look of change. This one really is simpler than it sounds: when Roode became a singles guy, he looked just like he did when he was in Beer Money. Think back to Booker T winning the world title. He was wearing black trunks and boots in a very simple look, which was different than what he had worn earlier in his career. When he was in Harlem Heat he had worn a singlet and when he had been in the midcard it was a pair of long tights.

 

It doesn’t sounds like much, but the attire a person wears to the ring can mean a lot. Think back to Hulk Hogan. He’s by far the biggest hero of all time and when he turned heel, the look started to change. He was wearing black, he had a beard, and started wearing sunglasses. Jericho switched to trunks when he turned heel and Undertaker is always altering his look, even a little bit at a time. Bret and Roode had the same look they had had for years before winning the title: a singlet for Bret and trunks for Roode.

 

Another thing that slows Roode down is his name: Bobby. I know he’s had that name for years, but it sounds like the name of a nine year old paper boy, not the world heavyweight champion. Look at some of the biggest names ever: Hulk, Savage, Stone Cold, Rock. Then we have Bobby, which sounds like it belongs on the Mickey Mouse Club. I know it’s minor but I have no idea why he changed it from Robert, which at least sounds more serious.

 

Back to the big things, let’s take a look at the finishing move. What is Roode’s finisher? The exact answer doesn’t exist, as Roode has several of them. I’ve seen him get wins with a Crossface, a fisherman’s suplex and the spinebuster. The Crossface doesn’t work for him as a heel due to wrestling law #84: top faces shall not submit. The fisherman’s suplex is ok at best and the spinebuster is so common that it’s barely a finishing move at all.

 

On the other hand look at someone like Hart. He had one and only one move and it was OVER when he hooked it on someone. Booker started using the Bookend around the time of his main event push as well and there are others who changed finishers upon getting a big push. Roode’s matches always felt like he was looking for a way to get a fast win instead of having some big move to knock someone out cold.

 

Now we get to the most important thing of all: the way Roode won the title. As I mentioned before, Roode’s title win came a few weeks after the biggest show of the year. The details of his title win make it even less impressive. Over the course of the summer, Roode had competed in and won the Bound For Glory Series, a points based competition to earn himself a world title shot. Roode had literally spent four months building himself up for the title showdown against Kurt Angle.

 

The match was built up, Roode was ready, it was the main event of the biggest show of the year….and Roode lost. Angle cheated to retain the title, but at the end of the day it was Roode getting pinned in his big moment. Roode would go on to win the title about two and a half weeks later, but his fans didn’t know that at the time. Instead they saw four months of hope and buildup wasted on another Kurt Angle win, because goodness knows he doesn’t have enough of them in his career.

 

The idea was supposed to be that Roode wouldn’t know when he would get another title shot and would do anything to win in his second try. That’s all well and good, but the same result (Roode using the beer bottle to beat his longtime partner James Storm) could have been accomplished with Roode defending the title instead of capturing it from Storm. Have him say something like “Yeah I hit James Storm with a beer bottle. I’m the World Heavyweight Champion and I’ll do ANYTHING to hold onto my title.” Same result, Roode wins the match at BFG, and there’s no failure.

 

For comparison’s sake, look at the first title wins of the other two guys I’ve been talking about: Hart and Booker T. Bret won his first major shot at the title in a 30 minute war against Ric Flair by making him give up in the Sharpshooter. Booker T won his first world title match on PPV by pinning Jeff Jarrett with the Book End. Wouldn’t you agree that both of those results sound better than “won the title in his second attempt after botching his big chance?”

 

Let’s take a quick look at Roode’s title reign with the focus just on the PPV title defenses. We have: a cheating win over an injured AJ Styles, a draw against AJ Styles, a DQ loss to Jeff Hardy, a win after Sting hit Hardy with the title belt, a win over Sting after Sting knocked himself out, a win over Storm when Storm knocked Roode out of the cage, a win in a ladder match, a win after hitting Sting with a beer bottle but Sting winds up standing tall to end the show, and the loss to Austin Aries.

 

In other words, Roode defended the title nine times on PPV and won a total of one match either on his own or without cheating. I understand the idea of a heel cheating to win, but once in awhile he needs to do more than escape with the title. It made his reign look weak and made him look like a guy who was lucky rather than good. The same thing was said for the Honky Tonk Man during his Intercontinental Title reign and that’s not something you want for the world champion.

 

So does all that mean that Roode’s career is hopeless and he can never be a top guy? Of course not, as Bret went on to be the top guy in the company for years to come. It was a bad world title win and a pretty bad reign after he got his hands on the belt, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t talented. Roode is comparable to guys like Booker T and Bret Hart and both of them wound up in the Hall of Fame. Roode’s first title reign didn’t work all that well but the potential is there, which is a very important point. You might even call it the “It Factor.”

Slammiversary 2008
Date: June 8, 2008
Location: DeSoto Civic Center, Southaven, Mississippi
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

 

We’re actually in Mississippi but it’s called Memphis since it’s so close. Either way, this is the anniversary show and the main event is Joe defending the title in King of the Mountain, which no champion has ever retained in before. There’s also another 20 minute AJ vs. Angle match so I can’t complain much about that. These TNA shows are pretty easy to sit through actually. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about how awesome Memphis is and has a guy that is supposed to sound like he’s a blues rocker. Lots of Elvis lyrics are used and we have a wedding tonight.

 

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz

 

Williams is champion and has Scott Steiner/Rhaka Khan with him. Petey also has a broken orbital bone so he’s in a mask. In a nice move, Kaz has on a wristlock and Petey tries to roll through it. Kaz grabs him into a rollup as he tries to for two. That looked good. They hit the mat into some pinfall reversals and Kan escapes the Destroyer attempt. Kaz gets a slingshot dropkick in the corner for no cover as Petey hits the floor.

 

Kaz fires off some kicks and the fans are split. They go to the floor and Khan distracts Kaz enough to let Petey get a tornado DDT off the apron to take over. Petey takes over but Kaz gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. O’Connor Roll gets two and the kickout puts Kaz on the floor. Petey hits that SWEET slingshot rana to take over again. The fans are split again and it fires Kaz up a bit.

 

Petey works the arm as that comeback was pretty short lived. Kaz gets in a big kick and both guys are down. He fires off a bunch of strikes and hits a release spinebuster for two. Slingshot DDT gets the same. The fans say this is awesome and I’m not entirely sure I’d go that far. It’s good but not awesome. Williams speeds things up and the Canadian hits a Russian on the American.

 

He loads up the Destroyer but Kaz escapes. Petey hits a cool move that looks like a fisherman’s suplex but he slings backwards into a DDT instead. Kaz fights back and tries the Flux Capacitor (C4) off the top but Petey escapes that also. There’s very little selling in these matches at all. Another Destroyer attempt is countered into the Fade to Black for two.

 

Khan comes in so there’s an enziguri for you. The distraction lets Scott slide in the pipe (that’s what she said?) and Petey kills him with it. Kaz is busted but he kicks out. Destroyer attempt #8 is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Sharpshooter but Kaz counters into the Wave of the Future (spinning downward spiral) for two. The referee JUMPED over them to get there and got to three before Williams kicked out but who cares about that? Steiner distracts Kaz and it’s enough for Petey to hook the Destroyer and we’re done.

 

Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys looking good. Kaz was getting a world title shot on Thursday so this was a bit worthless by comparison. Obviously he would lose there but that’s another story. This was fast paced but the lack of selling started to show in the middle as nothing could keep someone down for more than ten seconds.

 

Scott Steiner rants about not being on the show tonight or not getting (another) title shot. Steiner says he’s going to screw Kaz tonight. Uh………….oh there’s Abyss to keep this only rated PG-13. Steiner throws Petey at Abyss who takes the biggest Black Hole Slam EVER. There’s one for Steiner and one for Khan too.

 

We run down the card which is how we roll around here.

 

Eric Young pops up with a microphone and says Elvis is here. Oh geez.

 

Video on Nash who is guest enforcer tonight in the main event.

 

Nash is with JB and says this is all about money and Joe is more of an investment than a friend. If Joe wins tonight, Nash wins. If Joe loses tonight, Nash loses.

 

Video on how the Knockouts are better than the Divas. That’s true around this time.

 

Here are some shots of Memphis including Graceland.

 

ODB/Roxie/Gail Kim vs. Beautiful People/Moose

 

Moose is a chick that is almost as tough as Kong and is the mascot of the Beautiful People. She broke her leg in a hardcore match in an indy company and hasn’t been seen in TNA since. The Beautiful People leave Moose in the ring and she gets triple teamed. Roxie has the really short haircut here due to losing a match at Sacrifice. Gail and Moose officially start us off.

 

And make that Roxie as everything breaks down quickly. The Beautiful People try to leave but Gail and ODB don’t let them. Moose gets a flapjack for two. Off to Velvet who likes being on top of Roxie. The heels take over on Roxie and Moose hits a bad looking TKO for two. Velvet puts on an Octopus Hold and bites the hand at the same time. Hot tag to Gail who cleans house, putting all three chicks down and hitting a top rope cross body on Velvet for two.

 

Angelina takes out Kim’s bad knee and the heels take over again. They must have some time to work with here. Love works over the knee and my goodness we have psychology in a match involving breasts. Edit: breasts that don’t belong to Joe. They really are better than the Divas. Half crab goes on for a bit to work on the leg more. Moose comes in for a bridging Indian deathlock as Gail is in trouble.

 

There’s a Brock Lock (over the shoulder leg bar) but Gail gets the rope again. The referee is in a bowtie and shorts. That’s quite a look. Gail finally breaks free and there’s ODB off a tag. Thesz Press gets two on Moose and it breaks down again. ODB picks Moose up and hits a British Bulldog style powerslam for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. I liked this and the knee work was a nice touch. Gail has a bad knee coming in and the announcers pointed it out so it’s not like it was hard to miss. Little things like that one can add up a lot of points in a match and this is a good example of it. That made sense for the heels to go after and they did, showing some thinking which is a big part of psychology.

 

Video on Rhyno who says he’ll win King of the Mountain and the title.

 

Rhyno says he’s made peace with Christian (that wouldn’t last) and his second chance starts tonight.

 

We talk about LAX vs. Team 3D which is streets vs. hardcore. They’re only 20 time tag champions at this point. LAX won some way too complicated tournament final last month to get the titles and this is the rematch.

 

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. LAX

 

3D are the heels. Knowing them though they’ll turn twice on the way to the ring though. D-Von vs. Hernandez to get us started. Ray has a chain to start but it gets taken away. I hope the referee at least said please. The fans want tables almost immediately. Good sign in the crowd: “D-Von! Get the table dancers!” The champs dominate to start but it’s off to Ray pretty quickly.

 

Ray tries to get technical with Homicide for some reason. The fans still want tables. Homicide is like cool man and grabs some armdrags to get control. Ray puts him on the top and pats his head so Homicide dropkicks him down. Hernandez clears the ring (no tag. Cheaters) and both of them dive through the ropes to take out the Dudleys. Homicide tries to go up again but D-Von shoves him down, sending his head into the railing.

 

Ray punches Hector Guerrero and knocks Salinas down. Ray holds up a title belt for some reason while D-Von works on Homicide in the ring. A back elbow puts Homicide down and the Dudleys act all innocent and nice. I miss heel teams doing things like that. Big side slam by Bubba gets no cover. Back to D-Von and the fans say 3-D sucks. I agree. It just makes some of the background clearer and the glasses make the movie darker.

 

The referee misses the hot tag and the half brothers beat Homicide even more. By trying to stop homicide, does that make them vigilantes/crime fighters? They go up top and Homicide bites the ear and hits a jawbreaker to take D-Von down. There’s the double tag and the fans do not care at all. Hernandez gets a back drop to Ray, prompting him to shout DIOS MIO!!! The delayed vertical hits D-Von for two.

 

Homicide comes back in with a top rope cross body for two. What’s Up is set up for Hernandez but Homicide makes the save. Salinas and Hernandez do What’s Up on Ray with Ray saying come on. Johnny Devine comes in and is taken out by Hector. Ok then. D-Von takes Homicide up top but Hernandez makes the save, resulting in a Gringo (Diamond) Cutter off of Hernandez’s shoulders for two. Everything breaks down again and Ray hits SuperMex low. They set for 3D but Homicide rolls up Ray while D-Von is waiting on Hernandez to turn around for the pin. I like that.

 

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything but the ending was good. The problem here I think is that we saw the same match the previous month at Sacrifice so it’s not like this is some great new idea here. Salinas’ looks are the best thing about it with the ending coming a close second. Not great but it was fine for what it was I suppose.

 

Video on Roode who says he’ll win KOTM. He got in first so he’s been able to study all of his opponents the longest. That makes sense.

 

Roode says he’s wanted to prove he’s main event material for his entire run in TNA. He looks around the locker room and sees guys that have done it rather than just talking about it. The talking stops tonight. Pretty good promo here and it was kept simple.

 

Video on Kong being awesome. Hey that was funny. She has a $25,000 challenge thing going on at the moment which would eventually be claimed by Taylor Wilde (I think). Kong is Knockout Champion here too.

 

The idea is she fights “fans” who are of course plants. JB issues the challenge and hey look it’s Serena of the Straightedge Society and Sojourner Bolt. Serena is hot with hair. Bolt goes by Josie Robinson.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Serena Deeb

 

Deeb is in street clothes. She said she had been training in MMA and tries some not MMA stuff and Kong takes over quickly. We’re out to the floor quickly and Kong swings her into the railing like a giant swing. Kong goes after Bolt too and back in we go. Implant Buster and we’re done. This was a total squash.

 

Post match Kong shoves Bolt and we’re getting a second one.

 

Awesome Kong vs. Josie Robinson

 

Josie (Bolt) jumps Kong and gets in some shots which actually work. Kong punches the post by mistake and we’re in the ring now. Never mind as the spinning back fist kills Bolt dead. There’s a clothesline and the Awesome Bomb ends this. This was a squashier squash than the first one.

 

Post mauling….Eric Young comes out. Kong is still in the ring at this point. Young brings out “Elvis” who is booed off the stage. Everyone is just waiting on Kong to eat him. The fans just do not care and it’s obvious. Young has already left and Kong is like dude….what am I doing here? There’s an Awesome Bomb and the fans couldn’t be happier. They couldn’t get Honky Tonk Man for this? I ask because of the next segment which will make that make more sense.

 

Video on Christian who says he’s getting the title back.

 

Christian says he wants to get the title back because he still loves being the best. His win/loss record is better than anyone else over the last year and he wants to be considered among the best ever after tonight.

 

We recap the wedding with Jay Lethal and So Cal Val. Sonjay Dutt has a crush on Val and is trying to steal her away. Lethal had a bachelor party with Christy in a cake which was better than most bachelor parties if nothing else.

 

First though, a picture of Beale Street which is where the blues were born.

 

There’s a minister in the ring that looks like Ian McKellen. First of all here are the groomsmen: Ace Young of American Idol, Kamala (IN A TUX!!!), Jake Roberts (see what I was getting at with the Honky Tonk….oh man Jake is bombed), Koko B. Ware (with green hair and Frankie) and George the Animal Steele…who isn’t here. Oh ok he just didn’t come down the entrance. If there’s ever been a man that lives a gimmick like him, I want to see it.

 

The maid of honor is some chick I’ve never heard of and Dutt is the best man. Yeah because THIS couldn’t go badly right? Lethal comes out to Pomp and Circumstance which is almost appropriate here. Val is indeed stunning in her dress. We get to the speak now part and nothing is said. Jay (in sunglasses) says I do. Val is about to and heeeeeeeere’s Sonjay!

 

Jay says it’s cool and Sonjay says he’s talking to Val. He asks her to marry him instead. Lethal gets in his face and a brawl breaks out. The American Idol guy comes in and gets cracked in the head for the pop of the night so far. Koko lays Dutt out for a bit so here’s Kamala. He and Koko beat on Dutt and Steele wants in too. Jake pulls out the snake (the animal one, not his) and Kamala runs in a nice bit of continuity. Dutt gets some snake and Steele has a turnbuckle. This feud would go on for about 5 months before Val FINALLY turned on Lethal for Dutt who was released soon after and it was never mentioned again.

 

Video on Booker just like the rest of the people from earlier in the night.

 

Booker talks about signing with TNA and being given nothing after he arrived. He’s coming to take the title because it’s what this is all about. We get a WWE reference and he kind of morphs into King Booker as the promo goes along.

 

We recap Kurt vs. AJ. This is about Karen and AJ allegedly having an affair. I think this is around when they were legitimately separating so this is pretty weird stuff. Kurt thought there was cheating so Kurt had his friends destroy AJ and then beat him with a chair. AJ is out for revenge.

 

Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

 

Think this will be good? Tomko is with Angle. The fans like AJ more than Kurt. They hit the mat and guess who wins that part. AJ speeds things up and sends Angle to the floor with an armdrag. Back in and Angle tries to speed it up so AJ hits that dropkick of his to take over. Tomko talks some trash to let Angle get the fingers to the eye. Jesse Ventura is smiling somewhere off that.

 

Angle tries to speed it up again and he hits the post shoulder first. Springboard forearm puts Kurt down but he knocks AJ to the floor. Hebner stops Tomko from interfering and the bald man is gone. Kurt protests so AJ fires off a huge flip dive that Angle was too far back for so only AJ’s legs hit Kurt. It looked scary for awhile. Back in now as it’s time to get to the meat of the match.

 

AJ gets some two counts off basic moves. It’s kind of weird seeing AJ in control like this. Angle takes over and works over the back a bit as some annoying fans have those sticks with 2 on them. He fires off some forearms and AJ might be bleeding from the nose/mouth. Kurt snaps off a belly to belly and a vertical one gets two. Another backbreaker gets two. Kurt pounds away in the corner and puts him in a superplex position but AJ counters in midair almost into a gordbuster.

 

They slug it out and AJ grabs a pumphandle gutbuster for two. AJ starts in on the neck. This is Kurt’s first match back from a month off due to a neck issue. Angle busts out the rolling Germans but AJ reverses the last one and hits a release German on the American hero. A discus punch is ducked and Angle gets a release German on the American non-hero of his own.

 

Angle stalks him for the Slam and AJ is gone. Somehow he counters into a DDT as Tenay isn’t sure what Angle was going for. How did he used to be called the Professor? He sounds like Mary Ann at times. Angle rolls through a Clash into the ankle lock but AJ rolls through that. There’s the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. AJ goes up and Angle climbs the corner and hits the belly to belly for two. Ankle lock is countered and Styles hits the Pele for two as Kurt grabs a rope.

 

Another Clash attempt is countered into the ankle lock again and it’s in the middle of the ring. These two tend to have matches based around the idea of who can hit their finisher first. The good thing: the finishers actually FINISH the matches. Well there goes the referee as AJ kicks the hold off. Angle is sent to the floor and here’s Karen with a chair. She gets Kurt’s attention but won’t let go of the chair. AJ gets up and uses the distraction to hook the Clash and gets the pin.

 

Rating: B+. Another good match here from these two but it wasn’t as good as their last man standing match from a few months later. AJ hadn’t hit his best period yet but it was coming. Their best ever was probably at Hogan’s debut show but that’s a different story. Either way this was another good match and was great for the second main event.

 

Angle pops him with the chair post match and Tomko runs interference to keep security out. The ankle lock goes on and Angle pounds away a bit.

 

Joe says he’ll keep the title. He talks about wanting it to be about wrestling and not the politics or the opportunists etc.

 

Video on the King of the Mountain match through the years. It’s kind of a mess but it’s TNA’s mess. The idea is there are five people and the referee holds the belt. You have to pin an opponent to qualify to win. The person pinned goes to the penalty box at ringside for two minutes. Once you get a pin, you’re allowed to attempt to hang the belt. As in there’s a hook above the ring like a belt would hang from in a ladder match. Now you have to take the belt and put it over the ring, hanging it up there. Make sense?

 

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode vs. Booker T vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhyno

 

No one in history has come in as champion and left as champion. Nash is guest enforcer. Everyone gets a video on their way to the ring so this takes a LONG time. Now let’s have big match intros. The entrances for this match have been going over ten minutes already. Nash is the referee holding the belt and we’re FINALLY ready to go. It’s a big brawl all around to start with Rhyno and Christian working on Roode and Booker fighting Joe in the ring.

 

Scratch the in the ring part as they’ve switched places. Rhyno and Christian destroy Roode with a lot of double teaming but here’s Booker. Booker shoves Christian off the top to the floor and he’s holding his knee. The axe kick and Gore both miss and here’s Joe again to fight Rhyno. Joe gets a running boot and a backsplash for two as Roode makes the save. Roode tries a flying clothesline but Joe just steps to the side. I still love that.

 

Christian is back in now and the knee looks ok. He hits an inverted DDT on Roode but gets struck down by Joe. Scoop powerslam gets two for Joe. He ties the Canadian in the Tree of Woe and hammers away and is in total control here. Booker trips him up and pulls him to the floor, pounding away out there. Booker comes back in and meets Rhyno with a Book End for a pin. Booker is now eligible to hang the belt and Rhyno is in the box for two minutes.

 

He’s got the belt now and Nash isn’t happy. The ladder is brought in and Christian hits a baseball slide to send it into the faces of Booker and Joe. Christian sends Roode over the top and here’s Rhyno out of the box. He and Christian go at it even though they’re friends. Rhyno loads up the Gore but Joe trips him up and crotches him against the post. Joe is like screw it and hits a spinning dive to take out Rhyno, Booker and Roode all at once.

 

Christian is like I can top that and goes on top of the box and dives off to take out all four of those guys. Christian channels his inner Dudley and sets up a table on the floor. Back in the ring Captain Charisma has the ladder but Roode gets a chair from somewhere and pops it against the ladder into Christian’s head for the pin. Roode and Booker are now eligible. Less than thirty seconds later, Rhyno rolls up Roode to become eligible too.

 

Nash beats up Roode to make sure that he gets in the box along with Cage. Rhyno goes up with the belt but Booker makes the save. Joe hooks a cobra clutch on Booker and Cage is freed from his namesake. He goes on top of the penalty box and hits a frog splash onto Booker to become eligible and send Booker to the box. Roode is out as well. Quick recap: Everyone but Joe is eligible and Booker is in the box.

 

Roode goes up but Joe suplexes him off the ladder. Now Christian goes up and is taken right down with a big cutter off the ladder. Gore hits Joe and everyone is down. Booker is out of the box and can’t even stand up. Ok maybe he can as he grabs the belt and blasts Nash and Rhyno and Joe and Roode. Down goes Christian too, leaving Booker as the only person conscious. Since he’s mostly a heel though, he stops for a Spinarooni.

 

Nash comes into the ring and powerbombs Booker off the ladder. That makes sense given that he was provoked. Joe tries a MuscleBuster on Christian but he escapes. Joe knocks Christian through the table from earlier as Roode sets up the ladder. Roode goes up but Joe takes him down with a MuscleBuster. Joe immediately goes up and hangs the belt to retain. That was a fast ending but it was effective and smart.

 

Rating: B-. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was a pretty solid King of the Mountain match. I don’t think many people were thinking Joe would lose here, namely due to a lack of an A-List challenger outside of maybe Booker or Christian. The idea here was how does Joe win it and he did a good job of that here. Pretty fun match despite the traditional insane rules this match has.

 

Overall Rating: B. Can’t complain much on this one as it’s a solid show all around. They didn’t try for something epic and in exchange the show worked. The big matches are good and the majority of the matches are good so there aren’t many complaints. The company was doing well in 08 and the mixture of young and old is a big reason why. Then they focused on just the old and things went downhill but that’s TNA for you. Good stuff here.

 

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