This is one of the reasons why NXT is possibly the best wrestling show today.Dusty Rhodes is the GM of NXT and he’s been on the show maybe three times.  He makes matches but he doesn’t do so on screen.  What might happen is two guys will have an altercation in the back and then when they have the match, Regal might say something like “this match was set up by NXT GM Dusty Rhodes.”  No TV time wasted, no theme songs being pounded into our heads, no holding the hand of the viewers, just matches being made when they make sense.

Why can’t Raw or Smackdown get this?

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2012
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the main topic is Del Rio wanting an explanation from Booker as to why he lost his title match against Sheamus. My guess would be because no one wants to see that match and Booker is trying to spare us from having to sit through it, but I’d be stunned if the match didn’t wind up being back on by the end of the show with no changes at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Del Rio talking about how he’s going to win the title at Summerslam mixed with clips of the car saga with Sheamus.

Here’s Del Rio in the arena minus his car. He wants the title back now because Sheamus needs to be punished for destroying Del Rio’s car. That’s a good point. Del Rio says he’s not leaving until he gets his title match back. That brings out Booker who wants to know why Del Rio has been a thorn in his side since he became GM. Booker talks about how what Del Rio did last week was crossing a line and that won’t be tolerated. Del Rio mentions the scariest thing in WWE: lawyers.

Thank goodness here’s Jericho of all people to interrupt by asking Del Rio to shut up. Jericho rips him apart, saying no one cares about anything Del Rio says. Del Rio yells in Spanish but Jericho comes back with Spanish of his own. Jericho says that after he beats Ziggler on Sunday, maybe he’ll take Del Rio’s spot in the main event and win the world title. Booker makes Jericho vs. Del Rio for the main event tonight. This would be a perfect example of people with charisma vs. a person with absolutely no charisma at all.

Cody Rhodes/The Miz vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cody says he wants to expose Sin Cara’s face and he has a picture of him unmasked. It’s a drawing which looks like an alien. Cody and Cara start us off but both heels are quickly sent to the floor. The masked men take out their respective rivals with dives before we head back inside. Cody kicks Cara in the head to take over and it’s off to Miz. After the champ does nothing at all it’s back to Cody who goes for the mask.

Miz comes back in but Cara kicks him in the leg a few times to get a breather. Back to Cody who gets taken down as well. Hot tag brings in Rey for some headscissors followed by a kick to the head of Cody for two. The sitout bulldog gets two as Miz makes the save. Cara clotheslines Miz to the floor but tries to skin the cat. Cody goes for the mask but it puts him in 619 position. That and the top rope splash from Rey get the pin at 4:22.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but it gave us some hype for both feuds, although I don’t think Cody vs. Cara has been announced for Summerslam. Rey vs. Miz is as tacked on as it gets, but just having the title defended at Summerslam is a step up for the belt in recent months. Also it’s good to have Cody lose here instead of Rey beating the champ again. Decent match here.

Rey takes out Miz post match.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. ???/???

Reks and Hawkins come to the ring in suits which they remove while dancing. Just what we needed: male strippers. Hawkins starts with Jobber A and it’s quickly off to Reks. Apparently Reks and Hawkins’ mission is to trend worldwide. Not to win matches or championships, but to trend on Twitter. Jobber B comes in and gets his head kicked in by Reks before a powerslam/sliding neckbreaker combo gets the pin at 1:37. I don’t see this gimmick lasting long.

Long recap of Punk’s title reign. By entire reign I mean we skip everything from Survivor Series up to Raw 1000.

Regal wishes Eve luck in her match tonight but she says she doesn’t need it. Regal reminisces about being in charge of Raw but now he’s in charge of taking out the trash.

Wade Barrett is coming back.

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

The winner is Booker’s assistant. Eve takes her to the mat immediately and hooks an armbar. Kaitlyn backdrops her down and hits a shoulder block for two. A small package gets one for Kaitlyn but Eve gets up and hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin and the job at 2:15. It’s a swinging suplex but I don’t think it has an official name other than that.

Eve comes in to see Booker and says she has a lot of ideas. Booker wants to know if she and Teddy can get along. Eve says yes and that’s it. I have no idea what the point in 45 seconds being spent on this was.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. A clothesline gets two on Daniel and he bails to the floor. He argues with a fan using only two words over and over again before walking back into another clothesline. Orton stomps away a bit but misses a knee drop. Bryan kicks the knee out (not the one that missed but whatever) and goes after it like a heel submission master would.

Orton pounds away to come back but Bryan kicks the knee out again. He shouts NO a lot and goes up, only to get crotched and superplexed. We take a break and come back with Orton pounding Bryan in the head but Bryan takes the knee out again. That may sound familiar if you’re paying attention. Bryan misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for two. Orton fires up his finishing sequence but the knee slows him down again.

The Elevated DDT is escaped and they head to the floor with Bryan being sent into the barricade. Back inside and Bryan bails immediately. Orton can’t stand up because of the knee so he rolls to the floor where Bryan whips him into the steps knee first. Back in and Bryan fires off the NO Kicks but Orton ducks the big one and hits his backbreaker for two.

The knee keeps him from following up so Bryan climbs the corner, only to get caught in the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the NO Lock, which makes little sense given the amount of leg work done so far. Here’s Kane….or at least his music for the most overdone way to end a match in the WWE today. Bryan bails to the floor before coming back in for an RKO and the pin at 10:48 shown of 14:18.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one until the ending brought it down. Orton was selling the knee very well here and it gave us a nice story for the match. One thing that I touched on in the match though which drives me crazy: why would Bryan go for the NO Lock? He’s a submission master and he knows a few dozen submissions he could use on the leg, but instead he uses a shoulder hold, simply because it’s his finisher. I can’t stand it when people who are known to use multiple submissions use one that makes no sense in the current match because it goes against Bryan’s character in a lot of ways. Good match though.

Kane pops up on the stage post match and smiles.

Santino is out for commentary.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Zach Ryder

Antonio immediately throws Ryder down with the gutwrench suplex. Ryder is in red/orange here instead of the usual purple. Santino talks about his training for the match Sunday as Ryder makes a well received comeback. Broski Boot gets two but Cesaro hot shots him and the Neutralizer gets the pin at 1:30.

Santino gets shoved post match.

Long recap of Lesnar vs. HHH. Shawn won’t be at Summerslam because of his broken arm. We get some fans’ tweets on the match.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho

They have a lot of time for this. After Del Rio’s entrance we cut to the back where Ziggler is destroying Jericho. After a break Del Rio wants Booker to come out here and say the title match is back on, but here’s a hobbling Jericho instead, who says ring the bell. Del Rio immediately kicks him in the ribs for two as Jericho is in trouble early. Alberto chokes in the corner and kicks Jericho out to the apron.

Del Rio loads up the armbreaker (more acceptable here because that’s his only submission hold) but Jericho escapes into an enziguri. They head to the apron again and Jericho is knocked into the announce table as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding Jericho in a body scissors followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A middle rope double stomp misses for Del Rio and Jericho makes a quick comeback.

Chris hits the bulldog and Lionsault but can’t cover immediately because of the ribs. Del Rio tries the Codebreaker on the arm but Jericho counters into the Walls. Del Rio kicks him off into the ropes which are being pulled down by Ziggler. Dolph throws Jericho back in and a big kick to the head from Alberto gets the pin at 6:13 shown of 9:43.

Rating: C. This was fine. Jericho being injured going into the PPV wasn’t really needed as you could have just had the ending here to add more heat to Jericho vs. Ziggler but it’s not that big of a deal. Del Rio looks a bit stronger, but he doesn’t have a match on Sunday now. Oh who am I kidding. You know what’s coming.

Post match Sheamus runs out and beats up Del Rio, chasing him off into the crowd. Booker comes out and Sheamus begs him to put the match back on the card for Sunday. He doesn’t care about the arm injury and eventually Booker agrees, making the last week’s worth of developments totally pointless.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a good job at building up a lot of the matches for Sunday, but the problem is that most of them have barely gotten any build at all leading up to tonight’s show. Look at Miz vs. Mysterio for example. There was a match a week ago and now they have a rematch on Sunday. That’s not exactly making me want to buy the show for it but it’s certainly better than an unannounced match.

As for the world title, at the end of the day Del Rio is not interesting at all and he drags it way down. Sheamus showing emotion helps him a lot, as does having him in street clothes for some reason. Anyway, good show tonight and a good build for Summerslam, but what they’re building to doesn’t look all that interesting.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes/The Miz – Top rope splash to Rhodes

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. ???/??? – Poweslam/Neckbreaker combination

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

Antonio Cesaro b. Zach Ryder – Neutralizer

Alberto Del Rio b. Chris Jericho – Kick to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2012
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’ve got this and one more show before Summerslam so we’re likely in the final push stretch now. Sheamus and Del Rio actually had something happen on Raw as Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio while TOUTING about it. You know, about the felony he was committing. Hopefully we get a follow up on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is all the dust I inhaled pulling up carpet yesterday. Annoying stuff.

Here’s Booker to open the show, drawing a triple legend/hometown boy/legend pop. He’s even in a tuxedo tonight which is a new look for him. Booker sucks up to the Houston crowd but says they have a problem. We get a clip from Raw of Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car. My goodness we’re actually getting a follow up on it. Booker says Sheamus crossed the line and needs to apologize for it. That’s quite an expensive apology.

Here’s the champ who doesn’t look as jovial as he usually does. He talks about Del Rio trying to take his dignity, so he took his car in exchange. Sheamus talks about how fun Monday was, but now he has to face reality. He apologizes to Booker and much faster to Del Rio.

Here are Del Rio and Ricardo who are mad. Del Rio has filed charges with the San Antonio police department but Booker says if Sheamus is put in jail, the title will be held up. Del Rio says that he doesn’t care and the champion reflects on Booker. Sheamus says chill because he’ll defend the title tonight. Del Rio says ok and that’s that. This was an odd segment. Del Rio apparently cares about his cars more than the title, Sheamus couldn’t be bailed out in the nine days before Summerslam, and I guess Del Rio is dropping the charges? The segment probably made sense but it wasn’t the best delivery of their message.

Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes

What the heck happened to Cody? He was on fire and now he’s forgotten enough to be put into a match with Sin Cara? Before the match Cody talks about knowing what it’s like to wear a mask. He knows why Sin Cara wears a mask: he’s ugly. Cody says there’s nothing special about Sin Cara and that’s it. We get the mood lighting and Cara gets a quick rollup for two. Cody gets sent to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide.

Rhodes goes for the mask and they head back in. Cara’s dive is caught by a dropkick to the ribs for two, followed by a release gordbuster for two for Cody. Cody puts Cara in a Gory Stretch and reaches for the mask again but Cara escapes. Sin hits the Tajiri elbow followed by the corner walk armdrag. A big kick to the face sets up a springboard crossbody for two. Cody goes for the mask again but Cara kicks him in the head and small packages Cody for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and we even had a story going throughout it. Considering this was just a four minute match that’s pretty impressive, as you’ll often see matches more than twice this long with barely any story to it at all. Cara and Rhodes are part of a large group of guys that have nothing to do most of the time and are only put in random matches to keep them on TV. That’s fine for awhile but it gets old after awhile. Hopefully this is the start of a feud.

Wade Barrett is returning. I think this is the same video from Raw.

We get a recap of Daniel Bryan’s plights from Raw 1001.

Here’s Bryan for a chat. He says NO and the fans chant YES, much to his dismay. Bryan says he belongs in the WWE Championship match at Summerslam but instead he has to face Kane. He blames AJ for not being in the title match and shouts NO, that’s not right. He deserves to be treated better than he’s being treated by a “skipping, Chucks wearing, power suit wearing broad.” Cue Kane but before he can do anything AJ comes out. Why is she even in the building? Why am I bothering to think about things like this?

She says this is where she and Bryan first met and she’s here because Booker invited her. Maybe I need to learn to be more patient with my questions. Anyway, she says we can’t have Bryan and Kane coming out here all the time. She looks at Kane and says they haven’t had a chance to talk lately but it’s good to see him. AJ appreciates how sweet and understanding Kane was while others treated her miserably.

As for Bryan, she knows he’s always been jealous of Kane and upset that he’s never been able to pin Kane one on one. If Bryan is as sane as he claims, he should prove it, starting tonight by shaking Kane’s hand. “NO!” AJ insists so Bryan puts his hand out, only to get punched in the face. The fight is on but Bryan can’t hook the NO Lock. Kane kicks him to the floor and Bryan runs. This was a very forced attempt to try to make the people care about this match at the PPV but it only slightly worked. AJ looks very happy on the stage.

Booker and Teddy are in the back when Hawkins and Reks come in. They want a shot on Smackdown but Booker tells them to step it up. Booker says they couldn’t beat Ryback on Raw in a handicap match so they’re not A+ talents, which is what Booker wants.

Jinder Mahal vs. ???/???

No names for the jobbers. Apparently this is to prove that he can beat two guys like Ryback can. A clothesline and spinebuster put Jobber A down and the camel clutch gets the tap at 40 seconds.

Post match Mahal puts both guys in the clutch until Ryback comes out. Mahal runs so Ryback beats up the dead jobbers. That’s not nice.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho. Before he can say much though, here’s Vickie to interrupt. For some reason Dolph can’t be here so Jericho says he’ll interview Dolph’s mother again. They get in an EXCUSE ME shouting match until Jericho gives up. She says that if Jericho insults her again she’s gone. Jericho says go then but calls her back before she leaves.

We get a clip of the Ziggler vs. Riley match on Monday with Jericho costing Dolph the match. Jericho says that the knock on him is that he can’t win the big one but apparently Ziggler can’t win the little one. Jericho makes fun of Vickie’s hair so she yells about how great Ziggler is.

Chris says his legacy stands on his own but Ziggler got to him by saying that he hasn’t won any big matches lately. Maybe it’s time to bring back Y2J. Ziggler vs. Jericho is set for Summerslam and Jericho will prove that he hasn’t lost his touch. Ziggler runs in from behind but the case shot misses. Vickie slaps Jericho and when he goes after her, Dolph hits the Zig Zag on Jericho. Ziggler hits him in the head with the briefcase to leave Jericho laying. Vickie throws in an evil laugh and says who’s your mother now.

We recap the opening segment.

Kofi and Truth come out for commentary.

Prime Time Players vs. Primo/Epico

Still no Rosa. This is a #1 contenders match. Epico and Young start us off but it’s quickly off to Titus. Truth goes on an anti-spider rant before making horse noises. Off to Primo and everything breaks down. AW throws a drink at the tag champs and the match is thrown out at 1:44.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Christian

Aksana should always wear barely there leather dresses. Cesaro does the victory in five different languages thing. Cesaro grabs a headlock to start but gets sent over the top and out to the floor. Christian misses a baseball slide and Cesaro sends him into the steps to take over. Back into the ring and it’s chinlock time in a hurry as Christian is in trouble. Gutwrench suplex gets two for Antonio. He goes up but jumps into Christian’s boot to start the Canadian comeback.

They trade some counters and Christian hits the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cesaro jumps into a bridging fallaway slam for two. The Killswitch is countered by some headbutts to the back but Christian counters a slam into the reverse DDT. The spear is countered into Christian being launched into the air and landing on a European Uppercut for two. The Neutralizer is countered and Christian hits the spear for the quick pin at 4:08.

Rating: C+. The match itself was pretty good as they were countering almost everything the other guy threw, but I’m not sure on the ending. I’m not sure why Cesaro would lose this early, but maybe it’ll start something for him. Not a bad match at all as Cesaro actually got to do more than two moves for a change.

Post match Cesaro jumps Christian so apparently this isn’t over, which is a good thing.

Raw ReBound.

Eve goes to see Booker again but she gets turned down for a job. Kaitlyn comes in and asks for a job as well. Booker gives her one so Eve yells. Booker makes a match between them next week with the winner getting the job.

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Non-title here. Miz takes him into the corner to start and kicks Rey in the ribs to take over. Rey tries to speed things up coming out of the corner but gets caught in a backbreaker and sent to the floor. Off to a chinlock by Miz but Rey comes back with some kicks to the legs. Miz sends Mysterio to the corner and hits the running clothesline but his top rope ax handle is countered by a dropkick.

A kick to Miz’s head gets two and Rey goes up. Miz tries a superplex but Rey counters into a sunset bomb which Miz counters with a right hand. A big boot puts Rey down for two but Mysterio headscissors him from the mat into 619 position. The feet get caught by Miz and he loads up the Finale, but Rey rolls through for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, the wrestling was fine but I don’t get the idea here. Cole spent the whole match talking about how Miz had gotten better with his aggressiveness and it was translating into success….and then he loses clean. What’s the point of it? To set up Mysterio vs. Miz for the title? Well maybe, but why have Rey get a pin this quickly? I’m not wild on these champions losing all the time though.

BE A STAR!

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending in case you’re reading this 89 years from now for some reason. We only have about five minutes left so I don’t see this going long or going at all. We get big match intros to kill some of that time.

Before the bell, the cops come out to arrest Sheamus. Del Rio says he never filed the report and that he wants the title match now. The cops jump Sheamus on Del Rio’s orders so I guess they’re lackeys. Del Rio gets sent into the corner by Sheamus but the numbers catch up with Sheamus. Alberto kicks Sheamus in the head and sends the lackeys away. The cross armbreaker ends the show. No match obviously.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very odd show. They were trying some new stuff out there and that’s certainly a good thing, but a lot of the stuff wasn’t clicking at all. I don’t get the idea of having Cesaro and Miz both lose here but as I said more than once, maybe they’re doing something for the future. Now that stuff is all questionable but we can wait and see on it. What makes no sense is the ending.

Del Rio had what he wanted: a world title match. If he had these guys on his payroll, why would he have them jump Sheamus and waste a shot at the title? Why not cheat and try to get the belt tonight instead? I guess the idea is that he wants to hurt Sheamus before the match at Summerslam, but why not jump Sheamus earlier when no one could see, and then have an advantage in the title match tonight? Now Sheamus has 9 days to recover. I don’t get this but I guess I don’t understand WWE logic anymore.

Results

Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package

Jinder Mahal b. ???/??? – Camel Clutch

Primo/Epico vs. Prime Time Players went to a no contest when Kofi Kingston and R-Truth interfered

Christian b. Antonio Cesaro – Spear

Rey Mysterio b. The Miz – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Ok, I know I usually say little is different, but in this case, just about everything is different. WCW in its original form is dead, having been bought by Vince for an insane two million dollars just 5 months prior to this. The Invasion is going on at the moment as WWF is battling the ECW/WCW Alliance. Tonight we have a double main event of Steve Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Booker T vs. Rock for the WCW Title.

Either way, this show is just a complete 180 from last year. Also HHH is injured having torn his quad about 3 months ago. The roster has been more or less put on steroids now with guys like RVD, Booker T, DDP, Rhyno, Tajiri and Lance Storm here now. Oh and Lawler quit over his witch of a wife being fired.

Finally, Austin is top heel now, having left WWF for the Alliance, saying that he’ll have better competition now, which is completely stupid as he’s fighting the same guys he was fighting before the Invasion, but who am I to critique the genius of Vince McMahon and his Invasion storyline?

The angle could have been far better, but there’s been laundry lists of reasons given about why it didn’t work, with the big one being that they didn’t wait long enough, but I’ll drop that before I go into a page and a half long rant. Let’s get started.

WOW. This video package to open the show is AWESOME. It’s set to Drowning Pool’s Bodies, which is still the best live performance of a song that I’ve ever heard. This looks like the opening to a TV show or something and is just well done all around. It looks awesome and is one of the best video openings I’ve ever seen. Actually, here it is.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Edge

A lot of the stories tonight are going to consist of this: WWF vs. Alliance, and that’s what this would be classified as. Storm was the midcard Alliance guy so they gave him the IC belt to help even out the title scene. Edge gets a huge pop. This should be good. Edge was at an odd stage in his career at this point, where he and Christian were way too big of a deal to be a tag team anymore and Edge was clearly on the verge of being a breakout star.

He won the KOTR this year with he and Christian feuded over the KOTR Cup and yes I said Cup. This is very solid for the first five minutes or so with Edge having a completely different style around this time. He would get hurt in I think 2003 just as he was on the verge of the main event push and be out for over a year. His style back then was much more well rounded with more high flying but everything else just about the same as it is now.

Lance Storm has a very odd stomp, as he kicks his left foot forward and then stomps with the right boot. He must be doing something right though as he’s the only wrestler ever, and I do mean only one ever, that could make a half Boston Crab seem like a deadly submission move. We cut back to the WWF locker room to see everyone crowded around a monitor watching the match.

That’s something that could have worked well in the NWO angle, which is what this is a redoing of, and while it’s not as good, I don’t think it’s as bad as everyone says it was. Heyman’s commentary is great as he can play the cocky heel as well as anyone ever on the headset could. Edge starts his comeback as we get a gem of a line by JR: “Powerbomb by Edge. It was a powerbomb.” The more I listen to him, the more I shake my head.

Anyway, they both almost get their finishers but they can’t quite get there. For no apparent reason, Christian comes out and tries to spear Storm but misses and hits Edge which gets two. We get a nice sequence of holds and counters but Edge catches Storm in the inverted DDT which he needs to go back to for the pin and the title. Christian hands him the belt and leaves in a weird moment.

Rating: B. Another solid Summerslam opener here as they were going fast paced and slow paced in a perfect balance. Both guys were working hard and it was a solid pairing that gives you a nice title change that was more or less clean. Good way to get the show going.

Test and the Dudleys are heading to the ring but are cut off by Michael Cole, somehow looking less heterosexual than he does now. Test has left the WWF because he’s tired of being upstaged. The Dudleys left because they’re tired of Spike and his girlfriend Molly getting the glory, so we get a six man out of it.

Jericho says that he’ll beat Rhyno tonight. He also gets some funny jokes in about Stephanie’s morals and plastic surgery.

Spike Dudley/APA vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Molly with the blonde hair and in the blue top is beyond pretty. Just absolutely gorgeous. Test cost the APA the tag titles, leading to this match. The white shirts on the WCW referees just look stupid. They start off with the faces beating the heels up and then Spike comes in. Now Spike reminds me of X-Pac. He tries so hard but his size is just too much to overcome.

Why should I believe that a guy that I outweigh by nearly a hundred pounds can beat up someone that outweighs me by 100lbs? Simply put, I don’t and I never have. He was fine as a cruiserweight guy, but he had no business being in there with big men. I get that it was his gimmick, but I couldn’t stand it. We’ve got tables less than 5 minutes into the match so at least we’re not waiting that long for them this time.

The Dudleys do a double flapjack and they throw him so high up they nearly lose their grip on him. That’s just downright impressive. This is actually a very fast match as the faces take over again for just a bit, until Spike is launched over the top and through a table. Bradshaw nails Test with a Clothesline, but Shane comes in and blasts him with a chair for the pin. Paul’s line of D-Von, get the ambulance makes me laugh.

Rating: C. It was just a short 6 man without much going on. We do need filler though and that’s what this match was. It was a seven minute match and a ten minute segment in total that was just fine. It’s not bad, it’s not great but I’d call it perfectly acceptable.

In the back, the WWF guys are upset over losing the match but they’re all congratulating Edge over winning the IC Title. Christian comes up and announces that he’s gotten a European Title shot tomorrow night on Raw. No one cares, as their Grandma calls. She talks to Edge and hangs up on Christian which gets a solid laugh.

Shawn Stasiak comes into Debra/Stone Cold’s locker room which ticks off Debra. At the time he was just an idiot character that was trying to impress Austin. He says something about his tights but Debra says if he wants to make an impression to go beat someone up.

Title For Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

It’s the light heavyweight championship vs. the cruiserweight championship here in a unification match. Actually, upon further review it’s not, and it’s just to hold both belts. Later on they would be split again until there was suppose to be a unification match at Survivor Series. X-Pac was injured so they just dropped the Light Heavyweight Title and replaced it with the WWF Cruiserweight Title. Uh, I guess that makes sense.

Anyway, let’s get to this. X-Pac at the time was the leader of perhaps the most useless group of all time: X-Factor. It was him, Justin Credible and Albert. They did nothing, they had no feuds, they accomplished nothing. Like I said, they were the most useless stable of all time. Oh yeah Pac is wearing just tights now instead of his singlet. Ross talks about how this is the last Direct TV broadcast of a PPV, as no one really cares.

The surfboard is just absolutely painful looking. See, this is how Pac should have been used the entire time. He simply had no business fighting guys twice his size, just like Spike in the previous match. It makes sense and works much better when he’s fighting guys like these. Oh apparently neither guy is in the Alliance, so this is the one real WWF match all night. Oh what a treat for us.

Both guys have educated feet I guess. This has been almost all X-Pac, and since this is one of my reviews and my timing is worse than a broken Boogeyman clock, Tajiri makes his comeback at that very second. Ok, so maybe this is for a unified title. They’re not very clear about it, but based on what the announcers say it’s for a unified title, yet based on what actually happened, it wasn’t unified until about three months later.

The company continues to amaze me with its complete lack of sense. Anyway, they botch the handspring elbow as X-Pac dives onto his stomach like it’s just a simple hitting of the ropes. Albert comes out and gets on the apron, causing the mist to be blown. A low blow and an X-Factor come as the referee is getting rid of Albert to end this.

Rating: C+. Short and sweet here, but overall it wasn’t bad. They were wrestling people that it made sense for them to wrestle and title for title matches are always cool no matter who is in them. Pac would be hurt soon enough and he would be the guy that had to drop out of the Survivor Series match after Tajiri got the Cruiserweight Title. It made no sense, so go figure.

We go to WWF New York and see Perry Saturn as he searches for Moppy. If you don’t know about this story, do yourself a favor and go look it up. It was one of the dumbest and best angles I’ve ever seen.

Stephanie is with Rhyno and says she picked him to beat Jericho because he’s never beaten Rhyno in the ring. Now table tennis, Parcheesi and Chinese Checkers, those are all different stories.

We get a recap of the feud, which was highlighted by Rhyno goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. Now, after that, he suggests a match with Jericho at Summerslam, which makes sense as he’s already gotten the last laugh, so we have to give the face another chance to get even right?

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

The editing is odd here as you get the Jericho interview from earlier in the show here. Not sure why they would do them twice like that. Stephanie looks AWESOME in a black leather dress. Her hair being braded/curled isn’t working so well though. Heyman hates Jericho apparently which is ironic I’d think.

They slug it out to start and Jericho is out of his league here. Top rope elbow to a standing Rhyno which is a move I’ve always liked doesn’t do much. Walls are avoided as Jericho has shifted it to wrestling and has taken over. Jericho gets that springboard dropkick while Rhyno is on the apron. Stephanie distracts Jericho to allow Rhyno to catch him with a Gore as Jericho dives at him to the floor and both guys are down, drawing a holy crap chant.

BIG old slap to Jericho by Stephanie which Ross calls a right hand. That’s true but it’s a bit misleading in wrestling commentary. Body scissors by Rhyno which is one of his signature moves I think. I watched a match of his last night and one today and I think he used it in both. He throws in a freaking airplane spin for two. Can’t say he’s typical.

Rhyno goes up for a splash which Jericho moved out of the way from but Rhyno would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved at all. Jericho messes up a springboard but gets something out of it anyway for two. Middle rope dropkick gets a cover but Stephanie literally hugs the referee to stop the cover. Jericho kisses her and then hits the Lionsault for a long two.

Spinebuster by Rhyno sets up the Walls for him and they’re better than the ones Jericho tends to use. Gore misses and the proper version of the Walls, as in the Liontamer, gets the tap.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here as Rhyno was still worth anything at this point. Jericho of course was great as he was on the verge of going into the main event as a heel which worked out pretty well for him I’d think. This was a lot better than anyone expected I think and it was a solid 12 minute match.

Rock is walking in the back and is stopped by Regal. After a fairly boring promo, Stasiak runs at Rock who casually steps aside, causing Shawn to slam into a wall. Rock completes his promo and leaves.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

This is a ladder match. It occurs to me, Hardy has had a more successful career than Van Dam, and it’s almost not even close. Imagine telling someone that back in 2001. They would have thought you were completely insane. At best for Van Dam, career wise they’re about even. Van Dam was a very interesting case. He was clearly the most popular ECW guy and WWF let him be. Yes he was on the heel team, but they didn’t make him evil.

Van Dam’s character isn’t someone menacing or threatening an they didn’t try to make him one. That’s why he was able to come out of it as a solid face: he always was one. Since I didn’t like the way I reviewed the TLC match at yesterday’s show, I’ll spare you the big long list of sick spots here and try to do more general stuff. For one thing, in this match there’s far less of a plan I think.

I’d guess that in the back, they just told these two to go put on a spot fest and that’s what happened. They go move for move with each other for about 15 minutes and it’s quite entertaining. Both guys can use the ladder very well indees, as they jump all over the place and try to one up each other with their big time moves. During the match, Heyman lists off the attributes of Sabu, yet doesn’t say his name. That just struck me as odd.

Were they not allowed to say it for some reason? I can’t imagine it was a copyright issue or something like that. Also, he’s credited as Van Dam’s mentor. I never really thought of him like that. Near the end they do the big hanging spot with Hardy holding onto the belt, which always seemed a bit stupid to me.

He really can’t unhook the belt with one hand? I find that a bit hard to believe. Anyway the ending is Van Dam just shoves the ladder down with Jeff on it and climbs up to get the belt in a rather anti-climactic ending.

Rating: B-. It was fun, but it wasn’t great. The problem with matches like these is that a lot of the spots have just been done before. We’ve seen all of these moves and while they’re cool, they’re not original anymore. Yeah the match was fun and cool, but it wasn’t great like a lot of them were. It’s still quite good though.

In the back, Booker is warming up for his match as Shane comes in with a present. He gives him book ends (like the Rock Bottom rip off of a finisher that he uses) made from the announce table that he put Rock through last week. That’s actually kind of clever.

We get a recap of the Brothers of Destruction vs. DDP/Kanyon. To me, this was an AWESOME story. Basically, we had seen Taker’s wife Sara (who was very hot, way hotter than McCool) being stalked by a guy that we never saw. He’d have tapes of himself inside their house, of her coming out of the pool, of her in the shower, in their bedroom, etc. The key thing was, you didn’t know who was filming them.

Now I’ve heard a lot of varying rumors as to who he was originally supposed to be revealed as, with the most prominent being Kane. However, it turned out to be DDP. The problem was they kind of discontinued the Sara aspect as DDP just kept getting beat up. Eventually Kanyon came in and Kane backed up Taker. They both won tag titles, so we have another kind of unification match here inside of a cage. In other words, it’s a way for Taker and Kane to kill them both at once.

WWF/WCW Tag Titles: DDP/Kanyon vs. Brothers of Destruction

Oh yeah Kanyon is the US Champion at the same time, so we have five belts in one match. Now aren’t you glad they unified some of them? I have to give them this: the WCW Tag Title belts just look awesome. They run down Taker’s history in cage matches, which is pretty extensive. I actually like the idea of pins and submissions counting here. Taker is a guy that needs to just win with a big knockout move.

Just after Taker and Kane get in, Taker grabs the door and slams it shut in a very cool looking thing. Immediately your heels try to go over the top in separate corners. If I were Taker and Kane, I would have let Kanyon leave. It gives you a handicap against DDP, who is the real hated one. Imagine what you could combine to do to him in that situation. Let the slaughtering begin. The heels actually take over for about 45 seconds which surprises me, but of course it doesn’t last long at all.

This is more or less a tag team beatdown. There is a cool moment though once the heels take over again as they’re both leaving over the top of the cage. The Brothers are down and at the same time they sit up. They follow my advice and let Kanyon leave without any problem, only to beat the living heck out of DDP. For a lot of this beating, Kane is just sitting on the top rope and watching.

Taker yells at Page that he can leave and he’ll let him live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’ll kill him. Page tries to leave but Taker of course stops him and chokeslams him, before the Last Ride ends this. Dang man Sara is rather hot. Also, the unification lasted less than a month as both belts were individually defended next month.

Rating: C+. This was nothing but a double beating and that’s just fine. No one believed the heels had a chance so the match was booked correctly by not giving them a chance. They were completely destroyed and that’s how it should have been. Page of course turned face soon after this, becoming the motivational tooth guy (look it up).

Rock is with the doctor in the back and cuts a promo on the doctor as Stasiak runs at him again, and the same thing happens but this time the camera doesn’t even follow him. He just goes flying over the table as Rock steps back.

We get the recap of Austin vs. Angle. This was actually an epic match, as the buildup was great. They more or less made Angle into a monster leading up to this, having him beat every big name in the Alliance before finally challenging Austin. Austin had turned on the WWF at InVasion back in I think July, nailing Angle with a chair to give the heels the victory and join them in the process.

In the buildup, Angle had just beaten Austin down at every single turn and it looked like this one was going to be domination. To their credit though, the bookers never made Austin look weak. He was the same Austin that had dominated through the late 90s, but they simply made Angle look better. That’s hard to do but it works very well, as it saves Austin’s credibility as well as makes Angle look better.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

They meet in the aisle as Austin isn’t afraid of Kurt, which I think helps his character a lot. If Austin had just become this little coward, then no one would have bought him as the leader of the heel faction. By keeping him as the tough guy that he always had been, they make the Alliance look that much stronger. For the most part all we have in the first 2 minutes is nothing but punches.

I get why that’s how most big matches start but not two minutes worth. Austin works on the leg which isn’t as odd as you’d think but Angle gets a sweet counter into the ankle lock. The announcers more or less ruin it as they make it clear through their voices that this isn’t it. When I say announcers I mean JR. It’s weird to see Austin being in control for the majority of a match like this. These two are suplexing the tar out of each other, which is just freaking cool.

It’s not often that you see Austin using offense like this but it’s certainly both looking good and working. Angle hits seven or eight in a row, which somehow isn’t the most Austin has ever taken in a row as Benoit once hit I think 13 in a row. That’s just not only sick but impressive that Benoit could keep getting him up as well as he did. Since it’s pro wrestling though, Austin is just fine after a few seconds of resting following that many suplexes.

From out of nowhere, Austin gets a Stunner after about 8 minutes. The crowd has no idea what to think as Austin got it and got it clean. Angle of course kicks out and the second Stunner sends him to the floor. I don’t get why the announcers are so surprised that Angle kicked out. Rock kicked out after about 3 of them at Mania and after about a 20 minute match. Anyway, Austin goes to the floor and just beats the heck out of Angle.

He nearly breaks his leg and it’s Austin doing what he does best. This would have been a standard Austin match in the late 90s actually. See how well this was done? They’ve just turned his allegiance around and now Austin is still what he was before but just working for a different side. They go out into the crowd where Austin hits a suplex over the barrier but doesn’t go down with Angle. Apparently this was the best move ever, despite it being little more than a slam.

Angle counters though and gets the ankle lock on the floor with a downright scary look on his face. He gets it again in the middle of the ring, but he’s in the ropes in all of 4 seconds. Angle is bleeding bad here, like almost Austin at Mania 13 bad. Ok on second look it’s not that bad. Hey, did you know that Angle won an gold medal with a broken neck? Now sure if you’d ever heard something like that.

More suplexes follow as I’m gaining a new appreciation for those things. Angle busts out the moonsault and hits it like Curt Hennig would. Angle is going commando on Austin…whatever that means, but Austin breaks out the cobra clutch, which despite using it at Mania where Ross says that he hasn’t used is since he was the Ringmaster, Austin uses it here for the first time since he was the Ringmaster.

As Angle does the 80s style arm stays up on the third drop, his head is just looking awful. A third Stunner after all that only gets two as the fans are WAY into this. Angle Slam is the counter to the kick, as I continue to try to figure out how the Angle Slam is any different from a belly to back suplex that’s rotated just a bit. Austin hits the referee though after it gets a two as JR is of course, say it with me, FREAKING OUT.

Did you know that JR thought he knew that man? Did you know that? Not sure if you had heard that one or not. Austin low blows Angle and then stuns the other referee as JR is quoting the 25th letter of the alphabet. A THIRD referee comes out and Austin hits him with the belt. Angle hits the slam but JR is SHOCKED that the referee that got hit maybe 4 seconds ago is down. After all that, we get to the odd part of the match.

Nick Patrick, an Alliance referee, runs out, counts ONE time, and then slides out and tells Fink that it’s a DQ. Why in the world  would you count a one and then go for the DQ? I thought he was pulling up because he was going to say his shoulder hurt or something like that, but just to count one and then the DQ? What kind of sense does that even begin to not make?

Naturally, Angle goes off on Patrick with the ankle lock, and I have two observations. One: Patrick taps. Why? Does he think that it’s a match and that’s going to make Angle let go or something? Two: Ross, as usual, says that he’s tapping like a drunk man. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I’ve been around people when they’re drunk and not once have they tapped. The line makes no sense at all and yet somehow the fans have accepted it.

After the match, Ross goes insane again and just babbles on forever about how he knows Austin can’t beat Angle. I know I make fun of Ross a lot, but this was beyond bad looking. This was bordering on embarrassing. Either way, Austin would lose clean to Angle next month after some of the best promos that I can remember, easily the best Angle has ever done.

Rating: A-. This was an awesome match. Austin went suplex for suplex with Angle and they had huge drama going on near the end. Angle took a freaking beating but kept going. I’m not an Angle fan, but there are times when he gets into that zone of his that he is just flat out mesmerizing. This was one of those nights for him.

We recap Rock vs. Booker as it’s just pathetic to really see how much WCW was just stealing from the WWF at the end. There’s imitating and then there’s just flat out ripping off. WCW was doing that later. It was really just bad, and Booker was the worst of them all.

WCW Title: Rock vs. Booker T

Yes, the main event of Summerslam is for the WCW Title. Think of someone that’s very over. Rock is more over. Ross says that the people at home are on their feet. Has anyone ever jumped up for an entrance? Not that I can think of. This is Rock’s first PPV match since Mania as he left to film Scorpion King. Therefore, if you can’t guess the ending of this show, you’re an idiot.

It’s mainly a brawl to start as neither guy has a real advantage for that long. I like matches like that. It makes you think that anything can happen and it can give you a possible hint of what I say makes a match great: not knowing who is going to win. There’s little fun in a squash match, as it’s obvious who is going to win. A good match is typically one where you’re unsure who will win. Now there are obvious exceptions, but for the most part you’ll find that the lack of a clear winner is the better case.

Oh yeah Shane is outside helping Booker about every 8 seconds as can be expected. However, the APA run out and take him out with a sick clothesline from JBL by the future waste of air Bradshaw. There’s really not much to say about the match as it’s pretty standard for the most part. Booker is down after an elbow drop but Shane has to make the save since Booker fell asleep waiting on Rock to finish with all of the theatrics. This gets Shane another head kicking.

This is a pretty solid match here though as it’s back and forth with Booker of course being in control most of the match. They fight even more but Booker spins up as Mark Madden continues to validate his existence. If you don’t believe he has a reason to exist, read his column.

I’m sure you’ll be amazed by all the things that he takes credit for, but he’d hate this show. Page had a role in it. What’s his deal with Page anyway? Whatever, it’s not like I’d be able to listen to his explanation. Anyway, as Booker spins up, Rock nips up and lands the Rock Bottom (NOT URANAGE DANG IT!) for the pin, the title, and Heyman’s heart attack. He poses with the belt to end the show.

Rating: B+. This was a fun match and was great to send the folks home happy. Booker wasn’t going to win and everyone knew it, but they did the best they could with it and it turned out pretty well. It was Rock’s big return and it put the spotlight on him very well. It was definitely good but not great.

Overall Rating: B+. Would have been better to have Austin/Angle go on last, but this certainly worked very well. Either way, we have a good show here with a solid balance of gimmick and regular matches and a fun match to end the show. Austin and Angle is an underrated match, but their match next month was better.

However, I think this show is lacking the one huge match that steals the show which is keeping it from being an all time classic. Definitely recommended though as this is a very good, but not great, show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 3, 2012
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

The big story tonight is that we’re going to find out who the new GM is tonight. For some reason WWE decided to tell us who it was on WWE.com the day that it happened but it’s not like they care about Smackdown anyway. Other than that I’m sure Sheamus and Del Rio will find ways to bore us that the world never dreamed was possible. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the Indians’ GM. Thanks for not trading for a starter or two and dooming our season.

Here’s Vince to open the show. Josh says this is the first time Vince has been on Smackdown in three years. That can’t be true can it? He talks about the process of picking a new GM and says it has to be someone the people respect. The new GM is Booker T. Cole: “Thank goodness! That means he won’t be on commentary!!!” Booker thanks Vince and the Board but is interrupted by Del Rio.

Del Rio goes into his schtick about becoming the new world champion and Booker tells him to stop sucking up. How exactly he was sucking up isn’t really clear but whatever. Booker talks about what Del Rio said on Monday about Sheamus, including how Sheamus is beneath him. Sheamus is a peasant and was born poor and here he is. Sheamus congratulates the new GM on being the new GM and says the first pint is on him tonight.

Sheamus says he’s proud of where he came from and says he wouldn’t take a few weeks off out of fear like Del Rio has done. Del Rio says he won’t be competing until Summerslam but Booker disagrees. Both of them will be in the ring tonight but Del Rio says no. Booker says yes he is and he’s facing Randy Orton. I’m so glad they spent the time having Del Rio say he wouldn’t fight until Summerslam and made it last less than four days. Sheamus’ match is up now.

Sheamus vs. Tensai

Tensai cuts an inset promo in Japanese. Ok then. They brawl into the corner to start and Tensai knocks Sheamus back with a shoulder block. Sheamus grabs the arm but it turns into another slugout. The champ knocks him into the corner and takes Tensai down to the mat for a chinlock. Tensai comes back with an elbow to the face and pounds away. For the life of me I don’t get why they don’t just let Tensai be Albert or A-Train again. At this point he’s just A-Train speaking Japanese and no one cares, so why not change it back?

Sheamus shrugs off the punches to the face and knocks Tensai to the floor. Back in and Tensai knocks him down again and stomps in the corner. Sheamus kicks him away and pulls himself to the top but has to jump over Tensai instead of hitting the top rope shoulder. Irish Curse is broken up so Sheamus clotheslines Tensai to the floor instead. Tensai catches Sheamus in a dive off the apron and rams him into the post as we take a break.

Back with Tensai hitting a Vader Bomb to the back for two. A bearhug goes on but Sheamus quickly escapes. He can’t slam Tensai so Tensai kicks him in the head for two. Another Vader Bomb is broken up but so it the electric chair Sheamus wanted to try. Instead he just knocks Tensai off the ropes and out to the floor. When all else fails go simple I guess.

There are the ten forearms and Tensai appears to have a cut on his stomach. As Tensai is coming back in he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus gets sent into the post and the Baldo Bomb gets two. A Tensai charge misses and the Brogue Kick gets the pin at 10:20 shown of 13:50.

Rating: C. From a technical standpoint this was a pretty good power brawl, but my goodness these guys aren’t interesting at all. Tensai is a warm body with a bald head and tattoos on his face and that’s it. Seriously, what else is there to say about him? Sheamus is one of my favorites but he has almost no character at all. The match was fine but my goodness I don’t know why they think people are going to care about these two or Del Rio for that matter.

Eve sucks up to Booker and tries to get a job. Booker doesn’t seem interested and hires Teddy Long as his senior adviser. Booker sends Eve in her little black dress out.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cole takes a jab at Sarah Palin before the match for some reason. Uh oh, she might yell at him on Facebook. Cesaro says hi to us in five languages before the match. Cesaro immediately takes Santino into the corner but gets rolled up for two. A gutwrench suplex puts Marella down and it’s off to a chinlock. Santino makes his comeback with his usual stuff but the Cobra is blocked. Gotch Style Neutralizer is broken up and the Cobra gets two due to Cesaro’s leg being under the rope. Out to the floor and Santino is sent into the barricade. Back inside the Neutralizer gets the pin at 2:34.

Bryan is in the back and we get a video on his psych evaluation from Raw. Bryan says he has no comments and that he’s going to be saying NO a lot more often because the fans have stolen his catchphrase. He also doesn’t need another psychiatric evaluation. As he’s shouting no, the lights go out and it’s time for a six man.

Christian/Chris Jericho/Kane vs. Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler/The Miz

Bryan has a NO NO NO shirt now. Christian and Bryan start things off and the fans chant YES. Bryan takes him to the mat and stomps away but Christian speeds things up and takes Bryan down with a shoulder block. Off to Kane with the top rope clothesline for two. Bryan avoids a charge to send Kane into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Jericho comes in but gets distracted by Ziggler, allowing Miz to kick him in the face.

Dolph comes in legally and is immediately sent to the floor by Jericho. Vickie acts as a human shield to block a dive and we take a break. Back with Miz holding Christian in a chinlock. Back up and Christian grabs a sunset flip for two on Miz but the champ kicks Christian in the face for two. Off to Bryan for some NO kicks followed by a Ziggler dropkick for two.

Back to Miz as the heels are working well together. Another boot to the face gets yet another two count on Christian and it’s off to a chinlock. Miz’s running clothesline in the corner eats boots and Christian takes him down with a jumping back elbow off the middle rope. Double tags bring in Bryan and Jericho and they run the ropes. Jericho changes directions and hits a springboard dropkick to take out Ziggler.

Lionsault gets two on Bryan and it’s off to Kane. Christian and Miz tumble to the floor, landing on Kane in the process. Jericho puts Bryan in the Liontamer but Jericho has to hit a Codebreaker on Ziggler. The distraction lets Bryan roll him up for the pin at 8:30 shown of 12:00.

Rating: C+. This was fine for a midcard six man tag. It’s very good to see Smackdown putting on some longer matches since Raw doesn’t seem all that interested in pushing anyone new outside of the same group of people that always dominate the TV time. I’m looking forward to some of these blowoff matches and having three feuds in one match is never a bad thing.

Bryan shouts NO in a fan’s face post match.

Orton says the WWE is his life and being away from Raw and Smackdown was like taking the breath away from him. Del Rio is only the #1 contender because he hasn’t faced Orton. Tonight it’s an RKO for Del Rio.

Jinder Mahal vs. Ryback

Ryback actually gets to cut an inset promo, talking about how he lives by the rule of eat or be eaten and everywhere he looks in the WWE, he sees food. Feed him more. Not bad. Ryback slams him to the mat and rams Mahal’s head into the mat to start. Mahal comes back with the jumping knee to the head but a second one is countered into a spinebuster to put Mahal down. They head outside and Mahal hits Ryback in the head with I think the microphone for the DQ at 1:13.

The Prime Time Players want t-shirts.

Darren Young vs. R-Truth

Truth goes right after Young to start and pounds him into the corner and then against the ropes. AW is at ringside and has the mic again. Truth is sent to the floor and Titus gets in some shots, so here’s Kofi for the save. AW throws his jacket at Kofi’s head so Kofi chases him off. Truth tries to suplex Young back in but Titus trips him up for two. Kofi is back now but gets his head taken off by Titus. The distraction lets Young hit the double knee gutbuster for the pin at 1:55.

Raw ReBound is about Punk’s explanation and the eventual announcement of the triple threat match.

TOUT IT OUT ABOUT PUNK BABY! Oh my goodness these people get on my nerves.

We recap Booker being announced as GM.

Booker is on the phone in the back when Layla comes in. Cody Rhodes comes in to brag about retiring Booker earlier this year. Layla leaves and Booker makes Cody vs. Sin Cara for next week.

Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio sends him into the corner immediately and works on the arm. Orton comes back with a clothesline and pounds away in the corner. Del Rio goes to the floor but comes back in and rams Orton into the top rope to take over. Out to the floor we go and Del Rio kicks Orton in the chest. Del Rio hooks a chinlock but Orton escapes and hits his circle of stomps. Knee drop misses and Alberto takes over again.

Orton gets sent into the corner and Del Rio kicks him again. I’m not sure if the black trunks are helping Del Rio or not. Orton avoids a charging Alberto, sending Del Rio’s shoulder into the post. That gets two and Orton starts his finishing sequence. The powerslam puts Del Rio down as does the Elevated DDT. Here comes the RKO but Ricardo runs in for the DQ at 6:13.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here at all but thank goodness they didn’t have Orton get a clean pin over the #1 contender here. I don’t think I could take another triple threat at this point. Actually scratch that as it would be better than Sheamus vs. Del Rio again. The match was really short for a Smackdown main event, but then again we had to TOUT stuff earlier so some of the time had to be given away.

Post match Del Rio goes after the arm but Orton blocks the armbreaker and dropkicks Del Rio to the floor. Sheamus throws Del Rio in for the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. After last week’s good show, this was a disappointment. The main event didn’t do anything, but that’s partially because it was about advancing a feud that no one wants to see. Booker as GM is a good enough choice as he’s still well known enough to be considered a big deal as a boss. This show was ok overall but as is becoming the norm with Smackdown, if you missed it you never would know the difference.

Results

Sheamus b. Tensai – Brogue Kick

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Gotch Style Neutralizer

Daniel Bryan/The Miz/Dolph Ziggler b. Christian/Kane/Chris Jericho – Rollup to Jericho

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Mahal hit Ryback with the microphone

Darren Young b. R-Truth – Double Knee Gutbuster

Randy Orton b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: July 24, 2000
Location: CSU Convocation Center, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

This is another request that was made so long ago that I don’t remember the reason behind it at all. We’re just after Bash at the Beach 2000 and Booker T is the new world champion. We’re on the way to New Blood Rising which was another Russo mess of a PPV. Tonight we have Booker vs. Goldberg in a match I vaguely remember. Let’s get to it.

There’s a cage over the ring.

Here’s US Champion Lance Storm to open the show. He asks for us to rise for the Canadian national anthem as Mark Madden can’t shut up. After the anthem, Storm says Americans need a hero. It’s not his fault that all great wrestling champions come from Canada. He has Mike Awesome at New Blood Rising so right now he wants a warmup match. Cue the Hardcore Champion Big Vito, who wants this to be title for title.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Booker T is coming to the ring.

Buy New Blood Rising! PLEASE!

Here’s Booker for a chat. He thanks the fans for their support because without them, there is no Booker T. Booker talks about Jarrett whining about how he lost the title to Booker at the PPV and the champ doesn’t really seem to care. He says he’ll retain at the PPV and that’s about it. Scratch that as here’s Goldberg (repeat x5).

Goldberg says that Booker guaranteed a title defense every week, so tonight he wants one. Booker says cool but here’s Cat who I think has some authority at this point to break up the staredown. Cat says the fans pick the opponent (since when?) and they can vote on WCW.com from a list of ten options. Goldberg chokes Cat out but Booker makes the save to give us another staredown.

Back from a break and the announcers talk about what we just saw.

Billy Kidman jumps in on commentary and says he has a sex tape of him and Torrie tonight. Oh dear.

David Flair/Ms. Hancock vs. Lieutenant Loco/Major Gunns

Hancock is Stacy Keibler and Loco is Chavo Guerrero, the latter of whom holds the Cruiserweight Title. This is due to Gunns trying to give mouth to mouth to David, Hancock’s man. They’re having a Rip Off The Camouflage match at the PPV. Flair wrestles in a dress shirt and pants while Hancock wrestles in a short dress. The guys start things off as Madden asks about the tape.

The girls come in without tags and it’s a chase on the floor. Flair gets pounded down into the corner and Stacy accidentally rams her head into David’s crotch. That doesn’t seem to hurt but Stacy misses a cross body and hits David by mistake. Gunns rolls her up for the pin. This is one of those comedy matches without the comedy.

Gunns tries to give mouth to mouth to Chavo, who was knocked down by something we missed. Stacy rips off Gunns’ top instead to reveal a camo bikini top. Chavo gets back up and helps beat David up to clear the ring. What was the point of this at all?

Jeff Jarrett wants a title match, so Cat gives him a handicap tag title match against Kronik. Ok then.

Pamela Paulshock, a big set of fake breasts with a blonde attached, talks to some guy in black who doesn’t say much. Apparently that was supposed to be Sting and it sounds like him. He says the mask comes off tonight.

Goldberg says he’ll win the poll and if he doesn’t, he’ll kill someone.

We go to Kronik’s locker room and Brian Clark is out cold.

Tag Titles: Jeff Jarrett vs. Brian Adams

I think this is a tag title match. Jarrett jumps Adams as he comes in but a clothesline misses and Adams hits his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Back up and Jarrett whips Adams in but ducks his head like a schmuck, letting Adams hit a piledriver for another two. They head to the floor and Adams (more famous as Crush in the WWF) tries to ram Jeff into the post but Jeff escapes and sends Adams in instead.

In a move that makes me pine for Memphis, Jarrett piledrives Adams on the floor. Back in Memphis, that would be a months long angle. Here it’s good for a two count in the ring. A middle rope punch (MEMPHIS AGAIN) hits Adams but as Jeff goes up again, he gets caught in a bearhug. For no apparent reason, Adams lets him go and tries a sidewalk slam, only to get caught in a DDT from Jeff for two. Jarrett sends him into the corner but jumps into a cobra clutch slam. Adams hits a legdrop for two (Madden: “THAT MOVE NEVER WINS!”) and it looks like we’re getting to the end here.

Jarrett grabs the guitar and hits a shot to the throat when the referee isn’t looking. That only gets two and Adams is mad. He uses the power game for a gutbuster but a middle rope knee misses Jeff entirely. Clark finally comes out and hits Jeff with the guitar, followed by the Meltdown (pumphandle slam). It’s table time as Kronik wants High Times (double chokeslam) but the referee breaks it up. That’s cool with Kronik as they give him the chokeslam instead. The match ends with Jarrett running away.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the ending was pretty stupid. WCW had a bad habit (WWF did as well to be fair) around this time of just letting the matches end with no real resolution, even in the form of a DQ or something. Why Johnson wanted to help Jarrett wasn’t really mentioned but maybe it was just because it was the right thing to do. Not bad here but nothing great.

Vampiro says he’ll take care of Great Muta for Cat. Why does cat need Muta taken care of you ask? I don’t know either. I was hoping you did.

Shane Douglas complains about Kidman’s sex tape.

Sting is leading in the fan voting poll.

Vampiro vs. Great Muta

This is a rematch from the US Title Tournament last week. Vampiro has the Insane Clown Posse with him for the sake of getting my blood pressure up. Cat (Ernest Miller) is guest referee for no apparent reason. Before any contact is made, Vampiro hits Cat and it’s a SWERVE!!! Cat fights off Vampiro but Muta kicks him down. This would be the start of a stable called the Dark Carnival. No match for the most part.

Never mind as Miller gets up and beats everyone down. Great way to debut a stable there.

Booker doesn’t care who he’s facing.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. ???

It’s Sting. Apparently the mask is a bunch of bandages from Vampiro burning him. That makes more sense and it only took an hour to tell us that. Sting comes out but Goldberg jumps him. Hehe screw the fans. Goldberg superkicks Sting and Sting has to be taken out on a stretcher. Booker gets in anyway…and is immediately decapitated by a clothesline and a powerslam. Booker heads to the floor and gets in a shot or two, only to be sent into the steps to put him back down again. The champ is busted open so Goldberg gives him an FU and hooks a cross armbreaker.

Booker gets the rope and the hold is broken….but Stevie Ray (Booker’s brother and former tag partner) comes out and throws in the towel. Ernest Miller comes out and declares Goldberg the winner……but he’s not the champion because Booker didn’t quit. He made the rope and didn’t tap, so why is the match over? This didn’t even make it to three minutes, but hey, the world champ looks like a joke now so the point is made.

After a break, Booker wants the match to start again.

Buff Bagwell vs. Kanyon

Kanyon is doing the DDP imitation here….or at least he would if he was here. Judy Bagwell is here with her boy and she yells at Kanyon for being a coward. Buff declares himself the winner and it’s time to dance. A cameraman puts the camera down and beats up Buff, only to have Judy make the save. Buff takes the Kanyon Cutter and Kanyon chases Judy to the back, shoves her in a car and leaves.

Buff gives chase after a break.

Kidman still has a sex tape.

Shane Douglas vs. Mike Awesome

Shane says he’s winning fast so he and Torrie can get out of the town. Mike Awesome is now the Fat Chick Thriller, further proving that WCW had no idea what they were doing a lot of the time. Awesome shoves him away a few times before ramming Shane into all three buckles and then the mat to cap off the series of ten shots. Shane gets clotheslined to the floor and Awesome follows him out with a dive. How scary is it that he could do stuff like that with such ease?

Torrie tries to interfere but is kicked away. The distraction works though as Shane hot shots Awesome on the top rope to take over. A reverse Hennig Neck Snap keeps Awesome down and it’s off to a chinlock. Awesome taps but it doesn’t count for some reason, likely because you don’t tap to a chinlock. Awesome slams Shane off the top and starts his comeback.

A splash gets two and an Alabama Slam looks to set up the Awesome Splash but Torrie interferes again. Douglas gets in his signature chain shots to the ribs but the sex tape pops up on the screen. You can’t see anything of course but Awesome hits Shane in the head with a barbell that came from somewhere for the pin.

Rating: C-. We had two interferences, a chain, a barbell and a sex tape in this five and a half minute match. The tape went nowhere as it’s just the two of them in bed kissing and that’s about it. Kidman would feud with Shane for awhile in a feud that did nothing for no one and was more proof that Kidman feuding with Hogan did nothing for him. Decent match I guess but WAY overbooked.

Billy pops up on the stage with some underwear. Lance Storm tries to jump Awesome but gets Awesome Bombed.

Post break, Douglas beats up the guy that played the tape.

Kidman comes back out and says that he’s made a ton of copies of the tape, including one for Madden, drawing a hilarious response from the fat man. Some guys are shown in the back watching the tape and Douglas yells some more in the production truck.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Stevie Ray goes up to Goldberg in the back and yells at him, so Goldie throws him through a glass window.

WCW World Title: Booker T vs. Goldberg

Booker jumps him in the aisle but Goldberg knocks him right back down. As they head into the ring, Booker hits the ax kick and Goldberg is in trouble. Never mind as he clotheslines Booker down and into a 360. A powerslam puts Booker down and Goldberg pounds on the cut from earlier. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and hits Goldberg with a chair as this is anything goes. SINCE FREAKING WHEN??? That makes Goldie mad so here’s the Cat to kick Goldberg in the face. That gets him nowhere either so Booker kicks him down for a second and the Book End (Rock Bottom) retains the title in less than three minutes.

Goldberg immediately pops up and spears Booker down and hits a Jackhammer to stand tall to end the show.

Ok before we get to the overall rating, let’s think about this main event for a second. In total, the world champion has been in the ring about six minutes tonight and has been destroyed twice in that span. Goldberg looks like a monster that can’t be hurt and Booker looks like a joke. It took an ax kick, a chair shot, a kick to the face, another kick to the face and a Rock Bottom to put Goldberg down for about five seconds before he destroyed Booker again to end the show.

Not to mention this all happened after the fans were told they could vote and then had their pick knocked out, making it completely meaningless. This would also be the sensible match after the even bigger mess that the cage match on free TV was. They were out of business how soon after this?

Overall Rating: D-. WOW. Between the matches having no endings, the ones that do ending screwy, the debuting faction looking stupid, the debacle that was the world title stuff and the INSANE cage match among all of the other stuff I’m forgetting, it’s no wonder why this company went out of business so soon. Booker would manage five world title reigns in less than a year, and it’s no wonder given how much they seemed to care about him as champion. Why was this show requested anyway? It didn’t seem to be anything special and it was certainly bad.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Backlash 2003
Date: April 27, 2003
Location: Worcester, Coliseum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

Rock vs. Goldberg. That’s really all there is to say about this show. Well not really because I’ll write five or six pages about it but you get what I mean. Goldberg debuted the night after Wrestlemania and I think this is the first big match he’s had. It’s also Rock’s last match for about eleven months as he would go full Hollywood, come back for Mania, and then be gone for seven years. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is exactly what you would expect: highlight packages of Rock and Goldberg who collide tonight.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

The Smackdown Tag Titles were established in the fall and had been a big highlight of the company ever since. They let the wrestlers go out and have great matches, and when you had guys like these four, Angle/Benoit and Edge/Mysterio, you could mix and match anyone and get an entertaining match. Team Angle (who are defending here) brings out a portrait of Angle who is too hurt to be here. This is Los Guerreros’ rematch after the champs won the titles in February.

Eddie and Charlie get us going. They take it to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Eddie gets three straight two counts and a nice bit of applause from the fans. After some showboating it’s off to Chavo vs. Benjamin. Los Guerreros take over on the arm of Shelton and use better teamwork. Shelton gets in a slam and clothesline on Chavo but Eddie gets in a shot to the back and Los Guerreros take over again.

Chavo chokes him with the tag rope and Eddie gets in some shots on the floor. Slingshot hilo gets two. Off to Haas who gets Eddie into the corner and Shelton uses the rope to choke away as well. Nice little bit of storytelling there. Eddie gets caught in the double team move where Shelton jumps over Charlie and lands on Eddie’s back for two. A pair of suplexes get two for Charlie.

Benjamin comes in with a chinlock and uses a leg lace to keep Eddie in the ring. Shelton comes back in with a kind of powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as Cole sets up Tazz to explain how Shelton is making this hold more effective. See? Why can’t he do that with Booker and Lawler? Charlie bends Eddie’s back over his knee but Eddie comes out of it with a headscissors in a cool counter.

Hot tag to Chavo and he cleans house. Suplex gets two on Charlie. Shelton powerbombs the tar out of Chavo and everything breaks down. Three Amigos to Charlie but Eddie has to be sent out. Chavo gets a delayed two on Haas so Eddie Frog Splashes him so Chavo can get another two. He tries a suplex to Charlie but Shelton hooks the foot and it’s the Wrestlemania 5 ending as the champions retain.

Rating: B-. Bad ending to a good match here. Like I said, there’s no real need for a story here because you can give four talented guys fifteen minutes and you’re going to get a good match. Tag matches and cruiserweight matches to open a show are great choices. Tag matches with cruiserweight style guys are even better choices. Good stuff here but the ending wasn’t great.

Chavo dives onto the champs and Los Guerreros steal the belts. They head to the back and leave in a green car. The horn plays La Cucaracha and the car bounces away.

Torrie tells Test to leave her alone. He calls her baby and says they don’t have to tell Stacy about anything. Stacy is Test’s girlfriend but he’s not getting any until he wins more if I remember this properly. Test won’t let her leave and kisses her, making Torrie leave distraught. Sable sees what happened and smiles.

Here’s a very fat gut attached to Roddy Piper. He’s got a basket of coconuts with him. After saying he has a lovely bunch of coconuts, he introduces Sean O’Haire.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

O’Haire was a guy with A TON of potential and an awesome looking gimmick that was similar to a devil’s advocate who said that everyone knew they did wrong things, but what’s so bad about that? Look up the promos as they’re really cool. Then he was put into a feud about Piper vs. Hogan and became Piper’s lackey and had his push ruined. This match is happening because of Piper hitting Snuka with a coconut almost 20 years ago.

Rikishi controls to start but Piper offers a distraction to shift momentum. O’Haire hooks on a chinlock as this match stops very quickly. Piper plays to the crowd and gets them to boo him, because keeping the focus on the guys in the ring isn’t a good idea right? O’Haire misses a spin kick and Rikishi splashes him in the corner. Sean escapes the Stink Face and Piper gets in the ring. He brings in the coconut but both guys hit kicks at the same time. Piper gets in again but Rikishi cracks the coconut over his head. O’Haire picks Rikishi up and hits the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Piper sucked the life out of O’Haire at this point because no one was interested in Piper vs. Rikishi, which is what this was really about. Piper would be gone a few months later and O’Haire’s push would die. The Devil’s Advocate character was never mentioned again and we lost a ton of great potential. But hey, Piper got some TV time out of it right?

Sable comes up to Stacy at catering and suggests that Torrie hit on Test. This was part of some weird lesbian crush that Sable had on Torrie.

RVD and Kane get fired up. RVD is nervous because Morley is guest referee. Kane says let’s go win.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

RVD and Kane are champions. Morley is the guest referee and the corrupt Chief of Staff for Bischoff. The Dudleyz are heel against their will here but it’s the only way they can get a title shot. They’ve also been fighting a bit. Bubba and RVD start us off and it’s power vs. speed. RVD kicks the legs out from under him but Bubba pounds him down with ease. Van Dam tries to flip out of the corner but Bubba takes his head off with a clothesline.

Off to D-Von and Kane with the masked man taking over. Big boot gets two as Morley has been fine so far. Bubba comes back in and gets clotheslined down very quickly. The fans want tables as Bubba manages to knock Kane down. The count seems a little faster there. Spinebuster by Kane gets two and a pretty fast count as well. Van Dam comes back in for some flipping offense, including a moonsault for two.

The rolling monkey flip is countered and Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for one. Kane gets knocked down and What’s Up RVD? D-Von comes back in and gets two as Van Dam is in trouble. Off to a chinlock to fill in some time. Bubba comes back in but gets caught by a spin kick from Van Dam and it’s a double tag to bring in D-Von and Kane. The Dudleys are both in the ring at the same time and Morley is fine with it. Back to RVD who hits Rolling Thunder on Bubba.

The monkey flip is broken up but Kane hits the top rope clothesline to take D-Von down. Morley hits Kane low to break up the chokeslam but it only gets two. Morley clotheslines Bubba by mistake and D-Von beats the tar out of him. Here’s Lance Storm to take out D-Von but he takes a Bubba Bomb. There’s a 3D to Morley and a chokeslam to Bubba. Five Star Frog Splash gets the pin by another referee.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t that terrible but MAN was it overbooked. I completely lost track of what was going on in the middle of the match with who was on what side. Did anyone really care about Morley in 2003? I don’t think anyone did in 2001 so I’m thinking the answer to that is no here. The match was ok but it was a total mess by the end which brings it down.

Stacy goes into the women’s locker room and a fight starts.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is champion and Jazz has Teddy Long with her. The Dudleys beat up Trish on Raw recently so she’s coming in injured. To those of you paying attention, IT’S THE SAME THING AS LAST YEAR. Jazz goes after the bad ribs but gets rolled up for a quick two. Clothesline gets two for the champ but Jazz goes back to the ribs. A release Glam Slam puts Trish down but she comes back with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two.

Backslide gets a delayed two because Teddy has the referee. Jazz gets in a shot to the back and it’s off to a Boston Crab. Trish rolls out of it with leg strength and hooks the same move on Jazz and then into an STF, which is the same finishing sequence from last year. Teddy shoves the rope to Jazz though and we keep going. Chick Kick gets two. Stratusfaction hits but Teddy throws in his shoe to break it up. Somehow that’s not a DQ and Jazz rolls her up with the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Someone tell me the appeal of Jazz. This is the second year in a row they’ve put her over Trish for the title and I still don’t see the appeal of her. You have Molly and some other chicks on the roster that can be evil and you pick Jazz? Why? So you can have her speak ebonics and be loud? You have Jackie for that. Boring match with an annoying outcome.

Booker and Shawn fire each other up. Nash is ready too. Yeah the Raw main event is a six man that no one wants to see.

Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show

Apparently Mysterio embarrassed Show recently. A fan things Big Show loves Cher. Is that an insult? Rey gets Show to chase him which frustrates the giant. Things go exactly as you would expect: Rey fires off some offense, Show uses power, Rey speeds things up again. Backbreaker puts Rey down and Show takes over. Rey gets sent to the floor and gets in a chair shot and seated senton for two. A pair of 619s take Show down and a third staggers Show but he jumps into the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. I can’t stand these matches. The one perk here is that Show didn’t look like an idiot for the most part. At the end of the day, without making the giants look stupid in these matches, there’s no real conceivable way to have a competent giant lose these matches. Rey’s offense would have no effect here and for the most part it didn’t. The ending helped it but the rest of it was junk.

Post match Rey is put on a backboard and Show picks it up and slams the board into the post.

Flair, HHH and Jericho (the other team in the six man) say that they’re ready and not worried about Nash. Yeah, not only did HHH vs. Nash get two PPV singles matches, it gets a six man as well. That’s ignoring their European PPV main event too.

Stacy and Torrie are still fighting. Were they fighting all through that match? Scott Steiner comes in to take care of Stacy again, which would lead to them hooking up and then a feud with Test, resulting in a Steiner heel turn and Stacy being made a sex slave. Test comes in to yell and Steiner leaves. Some savior.

We recap Cena vs. Lesnar. Cena was a plucky young guy that Lesnar hurt so then Cena came back as a rapper and won a pretty star studded tournament to get his shot here. Check out these brackets.

Chris Benoit
Albert

Big Show
Rhyno

Undertaker
Rey Mysterio

Eddie Guerrero
John Cena

Cena beat Eddie, Undertaker (with interference) and Benoit. That’s not bad for a guy less than a year into his run with the company. Then again Lesnar main evented Mania in his first year so that trumps Cena I think.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

This would be a very different match today. I mean imagine: CENA ON SMACKDOWN? That’s hilarious. Cena comes out in a Yankees jersey and raps about being better than Sammartino. He’s iron like the Sheik and has us in his camel clutches. Cena jumps him from behind and we’re ready to go. This is Lesnar’s first defense since Mania. Lesnar grabs him into a backbreaker and hits two of them followed by a fallaway slam.

Brock hooks a front facelock on the mat and the fans think this is boring. That’s so weird to hear in a Cena match. A kind of fisherman’s suplex puts Cena down. Lesnar hits a gorilla press and we head outside. Cena goes into the announce table as this has been ALL Brock for the first few minutes. Back in Cena avoids a clothesline and heads right back to the floor. John manages to reverse a whip into the steps and gets a breather.

Brock is bleeding from a bandaged cut he had coming in. Belly to back gets two for the challenger. Cena knocks him to the floor and rams Brock’s head into the post again. That gets two so it’s chinlock time. Brock has a cut that looks like the kind Hogan used to get: it’s all jagged. The hold doesn’t last long as Lesnar charges into a big old spinebuster which puts both guys down.

Cena comes back with a clothesline for two. Now the Dr. is getting frustrated so he puts on a rear naked choke of sorts. Cena’s eyes look crazy here. Brock gets up and rams Cena’s back into the corner three times to break the hold. That would be opposite corners which makes it even more impressive. Brock gets all fired up and hits a bunch of clotheslines and a spinebuster for two. Powerslam gets the same. Brock almost gets rammed into the referee but he puts on the brakes. Low blow gets two for Cena and the Throwback gets two. Cena picks up the chain but as it’s taken away he walks into the F5 for the pin.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but man is it weird to see Cena as such an underdog. This wasn’t really a match with a chance of having a new champion, but rather giving Brock a good first match as champion. Cena was obviously going to get better but for a first time out there, this was fine. Why they don’t do this more often today is beyond me. Why not throw out something like Kofi for a title match if you have a bigger main event such as Rock vs. Goldberg.

We recap the six man. Nash wants HHH, Booker wants HHH, Shawn wants HHH, Jericho and Flair are there to give some backup. Jericho and Shawn were just getting past their Mania match too.

Ric Flair/HHH/CHris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels/Booker T/Kevin Nash

Booker gets an ok reaction, Shawn gets a good reaction, Nash gets NOTHING. Nash and HHH start but Jericho tags in during the staredown. Off to Shawn as well before any contact was made. Shawn punches him a few times and hooks a sunset flip for two. They trade pinfall attempts, getting about 14 in total. Off to Nash who sends Jericho to the floor and hits both Evolution members.

Back in Nash hits the big boot and with 1/5 of his offense gone, he brings in Booker. Spinebuster gets two on Jericho. Flapjack gets the same. Jericho gets him into the corner and it’s off to The Game. Flair comes in and misses a knee drop, letting Booker tag in Shawn. Forearm and nipup set up the superkick but after it connects, Shawn walks into a Pedigree. Flair makes the tag and it’s off to Jericho who picks the bones of Shawn.

A few elbow drops get two for the Canadian so it’s off to HHH again. High knee gets two for the Game. Flair comes in but the Figure Four is countered into a small package for one. Jericho back in and he throws on a quick hold which gets him nowhere so it’s HHH time again. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Flair for some knee attacks. Shawn gets a clothesline for a pair of twos but he can’t follow up.

Double tag brings in HHH and Nash and things slow down again. You can literally see the crowd sitting still during his house cleaning segment. Shawn had been in trouble for awhile just like the formula would suggest, but the people just don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker vs. Flair on the floor. Pedigree is broken up as is a Jackknife (a few people reacted at least) and everything breaks down even more.

There’s a Spinarooni and the fans pop to their feet. Shawn slams Flair off the top but Jericho breaks up the kick. Figure Four goes on and Jericho adds the Lionsault. Nash comes in for the save and the second Jackknife attempt gets even less of a reaction. There go Flair and the referee and the Jackknife kills Jericho to a moderate reaction. Not that it matters as HHH hits Nash with the hammer for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was ok but Nash’s reactions were downright embarrassing. No one cared about Nash and there’s no other way of looking at it. The pop for his entrance got nothing, his hot tag got nothing, his finisher got nothing. Also, why in the world would you have HHH pin him here? Why in the world would I want to see Nash vs. HHH now if HHH just pinned him? You have Nash pin HHH here to set up the PPV match that you just have to have. Ok match, stupid booking.

We don’t know much about Mysterio now other than he’s hurt.

We recap Rock vs. Goldberg. Rock beat Austin at Mania and had his appreciation night until Goldberg debuted and speared him to death. They had Goldberg talk too, which defeats the purpose of him.

Rock says he’s done it all and that when he got speared, it hurt but he’s here. Rock is a heel here but he’s so energetic that no one will boo him. Goldberg is next.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

Goldberg’s music is changed. You know, because Goldberg wasn’t over with what he had. We also get the full on Hollywood Rock entrance which is still awesome. Goldberg’s music is MUCH softer and it doesn’t work at all. Lawler keeps talking about how Goldberg was a big fish in a small pond and makes sure to make people remember that WCW was NOTHING. The fans chant Goldberg as we’re in full stall mode.

We’re going very slowly with Goldberg knocking Rock out to the floor. Rock stalls on the floor but guillotines him on the rope and hits a clothesline for a pop. Goldberg hits a Rock Bottom and sets up for the spear but Goldberg crashes into the buckle which Lawler says “may be the greatest thing he’s ever seen.” Now it’s Sharpshooter time which is broken eventually. For some reason the referee looks away and Rock hits Goldie low.

Rock sets for the Rock Bottom but Goldberg hits a weak spear. Time for more laying around as this match is WAY too boring. Rock tries some clotheslines but Goldberg won’t go down. A spear from Rock puts Goldberg down and King is losing it. Rock Bottom gets two. The Great One punches him so Goldberg clotheslines him down. Another spinebuster sets up the Elbow but it only gets two and the fans are mad. Spear hits, Rock swears, spear again, Jackhammer and we’re done thank goodness.

Rating: F. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? This was GOLDBERG VS. THE ROCK! Goldberg literally did nothing but punches, clotheslines, spears and the Jackhammer. Not close to it, not an expression, literally that’s it. This match was absolutely awful with them spending at least four minutes (out of 13) laying around. It’s one of the worst debuts I can remember in years and it was completely unacceptable.

Overall Rating: D-. I was thinking this was an ok at best PPV until the main event. Then the bottom fell out of that idea. This was AWFUL with a terrible main event. Nash’s reactions are some of the most embarrassing I’ve ever seen but he would be in the next THREE Raw PPV main events for the title until Goldberg took over. You know, the guy who got a lukewarm reaction at best. There’s a reason people call 2003 the worst year in company history. IT WAS TERRIBLE.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 24, 2001
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 7,730
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

We’re past Unforgiven and the biggest detail is that we have a new WWF Champion in the form of Kurt Angle, who beat Austin in a pretty good match. We’re four weeks away from No Mercy and it’ll be the first show where things look even the slightest bit different in the main event picture. And then that’ll all mean nothing as it’ll be time for the Survivor Series and the end of the Alliance. Let’s get to it.

We open with Angle being announced as the new world champion and his family coming in to celebrate with him.

We’re waiting on Austin to arrive so in the meantime we’ll play a theme song.

Kane/Undertaker/Bradshaw vs. Dudley Boyz/Test

Kronik has been fired due to last night’s debacle so we have a new Alliance team for Undertaker and Kane to beat up. The Dudleys are WWF tag champions and Kane/Taker are the WCW counterparts. Bradshaw jumps Test to start and escapes the full nelson slam. Test absorbs some right hands and clotheslines Bradshaw down. Off to D-Von who gets slammed down and there’s a tag to Kane.

Sidewalk slam puts D-Von down and the top rope clothesline puts him down even further. Big boot from Test changes momentum and gets two for D-Von. Kane gets beaten up on the floor a bit as Undertaker tries to help, thereby allowing more cheating. Bubba drops some ax handles for two. Test comes in and pounds on Kane but the Spaniard slugs back and tags in Undertaker. Everything breaks down and Taker avoids the 3D. Bubba gets taken down by the Clothesline and a Last Ride pins D-Von.

Rating: D+. Total meh match here with nothing going on at all. Undertaker looks strong which doesn’t really help anything. I guess this sets up Dudleys vs. Brothers but it doesn’t really make the big tough team look all that vulnerable. Also as usual, the match doesn’t mean anything past the latest win/loss for either side.

Stacy comes in to see Torrie and wants to know what she sees in Tajiri. Stacy thinks he’s short and not much of a man. Torrie says at least she has a man (does Stasiak ring a bell?) so Stacy says she can get one anytime she wants (Stasiak? His dad was world champion?) so a challenge is set up for later.

Christian arrives and Heyman thinks it’s Austin. Christian warns the security guard to be ready for the mob of people that will be here soon. Oh and go get his bags later. He talks to two people ignoring him and says that he’ll sign all their autographs post show.

Shane fires up the Alliance by saying Austin will be here later. He says Austin is still champion because his arm was under the rope. Booker and Shane got screwed by Hebner too, so tonight is about revenge. Stephanie pops in and thinks they’re all here for her birthday. You know, because they wouldn’t show up for work otherwise. Stephanie (looking GREAT again this week) says that tonight is about leadership and following the example of….RVD. Booker comes out of his pose to complain so it’s Booker vs. Angle for the WWF Title and Rock vs. RVD for the WCW version.

Tajiri vs. Tazz

Tajiri kicks him down but walks into a Tazplex to take over. Tajiri comes back with the kicks and the Tarantula. Buzzsaw kick connects but Stacy kisses Tajiri which lets Taz hook the Tazmission for the tap out.

Shane talks to Booker about how it’s time to move up to the WWF Title.

US Title: Rhyno vs. Jeff Hardy

Rhyno won the title last night off Tajiri. Jeff speeds things up to start and sends it to the floor. Slingshot dropkick sets up a rana off the apron to take over. Back in the champion hits a spinebuster but misses a top rope splash. Jeff hits a flipping legdrop for two but walks into a belly to belly. Whisper in the Wind puts Rhyno down but the Swanton misses. The first Gore attempt misses but Jeff goes to the corner and when he lands, Rhyno kills him dead with the Gore to retain.

Rating: C. Rhyno was on a roll at this point and couldn’t have a bad match if he tried. He was great at the power matches and using that Gore to split people in half. He didn’t really have a character but he didn’t need one with his finisher. On top of that he added in some psychology with the constant rib work which makes perfect sense. Good stuff.

Hurricane tells Citizen Ivory and Citizen Storm that he’s glad they’re studying for the match. He also thinks Ivory is in danger and tells her to wait at the entrance. She leaves and Hurricane confides to Storm that he’s ready to take Holly on as his full time sidekick. He makes Storm do Wonder Twin Powers Activate in a funny bit.

Kanyon comes in to see RVD because he’s worried about Austin freaking out on him. Van Dam says just chill.

Ivory/Lance Storm/Hurricane vs. Big Show/Spike Dudley/Molly Holly

Spike is in a Show costume for no apparent reason. Show and Hurricane start things off and the masked man wants a test of strength. That goes nowhere so he slaps Big Show, which gets him thrown across the ring. Off to Ivory and Molly with the latter hitting a northern lights suplex for two. Storm and Spike come in and things speed up a bit. Spike chases Hurricane around and gets kicked down by Lance coming back in. Hurricane and the cape come in with a cross body for two. Show comes in and cleans house but Ivory hits him low. Molly gets on Show’s shoulders for the Molly Go Round for the pin on Storm.

Rating: D+. Just turn Molly into a sidekick already and get it over with. It was clear that’s where they were going so just get it over with already. On top of that, Show needs something to do. He’s been doing nothing for months now and it’s getting a little tiring to sit here and watch him do nothing at all.

Earl Hebner comes in to see Shane, who yells at him about an apparent screwjob last night. We see a clip of Austin tapping out but being under the ropes. Hebner admits his mistake but says the decision stands. Shane is barred from ringside for Angle vs. Booker for some reason.

WWF Title: Kurt Angle vs. Booker T

BIG USA chant goes up. You know Booker is an American too. Angle hits a quick overhead belly to belly for two. Booker grabs a headlock but Kurt grabs the ankle lock which is quickly broken. Angle goes for the ankle again but Booker hits an enziguri to take over. Booker drops a knee to what I think is a bad neck and stands around a lot. Off to a chinlock to take some time out of the match.

Kurt fights up and hits some elbows to the ribs but walks into a spinning forearm for two. Booker hits the ropes but walks into a belly to belly suplex and a belly to back gets two. Booker shoves off the referee to avoid the Slam and kicks Angle down. Belt shot puts Angle down for two. Bookend is countered into a northern lights suplex for two. Ax kick misses and Kurt rolls through a suplex into the ankle lock to retain.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here but it wasn’t anything great. Booker jobbing again shouldn’t surprise anyone and I don’t think it did. He’s the biggest WCW star there was so of course he lost. That was another of the big issues with the Invasion: the Alliance guys were always second and third fiddles to the WWF guys.

Kanyon hits on Lita which is a lot more awkward in retrospect. She makes fun of his speech impediment.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Christian won the title last night. He makes fun of the former champion Edge pre-match and we get a solo Five Second Pose….or we would have if Jericho hadn’t interrupted. Jericho takes him down to start and chops away. Christian comes back with punches and knocks Jericho into the corner. Backbreaker gets two. Jericho hits the forearm and avoids a dropkick. Christian avoids the Lionsault and rolls to the floor. A bell shot draws the LAME DQ to end this. Nothing match.

Christian loads up the Conchairto but Jericho avoids it and hooks the Walls.

X-Pac is sitting in Regal’s chair when the Commissioner comes in. Pac complains about his lack of TV time despite having two titles. Regal rips into him and says that it’s Pac vs. Regal tonight.

We get America the Beautiful from last night which is by one of those women singers that basically screech the words but it’s called great for some reason.

Raven asks RVD for advice about how depressed he’s been lately. RVD suggests being more positive about being negative. Raven thanks him and leaves when Stephanie comes in. She says win and you’re the leader of the Alliance. Some mild sexual tension is teased.

Matt Hardy vs. Kanyon

Matt punches him down to start and hits a moonsault press for two. Kanyon takes him down and heads to hit on Lita, who slaps the taste out of his mouth. Back in Kanyon drives Matt’s head into the mat for two. Kanyon talks to Lita more and gets rolled up for two. A bad Russian legsweep by Matt puts both guys down. They go to the corner with Kanyon getting shoved down and the middle rope legdrop sends Kanyon to the outside. Lita hits her hurricanrana off the steps. Twist of Fate is countered and Matt is shoved into Lita. Flatliner gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here and as usual it doesn’t mean anything. These one night made feuds and their resolutions were fine for filling in TV time but it didn’t help anything long term. This was just ok as Matt was nowhere near what he would become yet (take that for what you will) and Kanyon still didn’t mean much.

EXTREME CLOSEUP of DDP who is very positive now. He’s into the motivational speaker gimmick now.

We go to WWF New York with the Tough Enough finalists. The five finalists are Nidia, Taylor (cute but never did anything), Chris Harvard, Maven and Josh Matthews, who looks like more of a tool than he does now.

Rock brags about retaining the title last night and now he has RVD. As for Stephanie, if she cheats she’s going to get a birthday spanking. She’s 25 tonight. He singe a version of Happy Birthday to her as well: “Happy Birthday to Steph, you’re a ho with big breasts, so take the night off from hooking, if ya smell what the Rock is cooking.” Ok that was awesome.

William Regal vs. X-Pac

Regal knocks him down but gets caught in a suplex for two. Bronco Buster hits and Regal comes back with the Regal Cutter for the pin. What in the freaking world was the point of this?

WCW World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. The Rock

Since Shane is barred from ringside for some reason, Stephanie comes out to watch the match. Rob counters a headlock and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. Rock Bottom is countered as well and they head to the floor. A clothesline puts Van Dam down but Rob comes back with the spinning kick to Rock who is draped over the barricade. Back in the top rope kick gets two.

Rock grabs a belly to belly for two. Back to the floor and Rob loads up the announce table, only to get punched in the face for his troubles. Rock throws him onto the table but Van Dam bounces off of it. Back inside a spinebuster gets two. RVD kicks him down and tries the split legged moonsault but Rock moves. Stephanie slaps Rock into a rollup for two. Rock hits a DDT and the Sharpshooter goes on but Stephanie comes in again. He chases her up the aisle and throws her back in as Van Dam slams him down. He gets ready for the Five Star but Stephanie shoves the referee into the ropes. Rock Bottom gives Rock the win.

Rating: C-. We’ll continue the running theme tonight by talking about how this is another problem the Invasion had: this match wasn’t about RVD, it wasn’t about the WCW Title and it wasn’t about the Invasion. This match was about Stephanie and how The Rock wants to ruin her birthday. That’s a fun single night thing and the more I get to see mid-20s Stephanie the happier I am, but this doesn’t do a thing long term. It doesn’t set up a PPV match, it doesn’t give Rock a new challenge, it doesn’t do anything. That’s fine once in awhile, but this is like the fourth week in a row. That’s not good.

Austin never arrived.

Overall Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for me. It’s a total throwaway show with nothing happening and the whole thing being about Stephanie and her birthday with the usual world title matches that meant nothing at all. No Austin, so that went nowhere (nice bait and switch guys) and Angle and/or Rock have no opponents yet, so what was the point of this? Oh yeah, Stephanie is 25 now. Pointless show.

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