Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

While there’s a full card to go with the Survivor Series match, none of it matters compared to the main event. Some of the WCW and WWF Titles will be unified as well, which was a major problem at the time. There were so many belts floating around at the time that it didn’t matter when one would change hands. Thankfully a lot of those problems will be wrapped up tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a cool concept as it shows all of the old logos for the WWF over the years and a bunch of great moments in company history, set to a song called The End Is Here.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance and defending. He greets his fans in South Carolina (that’s what he said) and calls himself awesome. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough (reality competition series where Snow was head trainer) theme which was quite a catchy tune. Snow takes him down to the mat to frustrates the champ. Christian comes back with a foot on Snow’s face in the corner followed by a Russian legsweep for two. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down.

Al fights up and hits his headbutts but Christian hits a tiger driver backbreaker for two. Snow gets rammed into the buckle and things slow down again. The trapping headbutts stop Christian again and Snow escapes the reverse DDT into a neckbreaker for two. Heyman schills for the Alliance guys in an always funny bit.

A sitout powerbomb gets two for Snow and now Christian’s reverse DDT scores for no cover. Instead Christian talks a lot of trash and gets rolled up for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through by Snow and the Snow Plow gets two. There’s the Unprettier out of nowhere to keep the title in the Alliance. That was quick.

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. That’s exactly the case here. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing too shocking.

Austin arrives and yells at the Alliance because he doesn’t like being accused of being a traitor to his team. This would be a lot better if Stephanie had more acting ability than say, a carrot. Austin yells at everyone on the team and says stop being paranoid.

Vince and Linda arrive with Vince brimming with confidence. Cole comes up and says this might be their last night in business but Vince doesn’t want to hear talk like that. Vince talks about taking calculated risks and being confident because someone is jumping to the WWF. Regal comes up and says he doesn’t buy the idea that Austin is jumping back to the WWF.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

These two are former friends. Regal hurt Tajiri’s (Japanese wrestler with a lot of fast kicks) girlfriend Torrie (not the same person with the same name but different spelling from years ago) on Smackdown to set this up. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine.

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is Intercontinental Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Test complains about the makeup lady not rubbing in the oil well enough on him. Stacy (his future girlfriend) comes up and agrees with Test. Test hits on her and she’ll think about it if he wins.

Edge compares himself to Test and says that there are a lot of similarities between them. The difference is that Edge hasn’t been dumped by every chick on the planet. Edge makes fun of Test for sounding wooden and that’s about it.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. They’re quickly back inside and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blond Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

Edge blocks a superplex with some CANADIAN right hands to the ribs but a sunset bomb doesn’t work. Test dives off the top but jumps right into a dropkick to put him down. The problem with this match is neither guy has been able to build up any kind of a run with the title as both have changed hands four times since the Invasion began about four months ago. How can you get behind either guy as a big time champion in that little bit of time? On top of that, Edge has been champion for six days and Test for thirteen. That’s not exactly Honky Tonk Man unifying with Luger in the late 80s.

Both guys are down now but it’s Edge up first with some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick. Test’s pumphandle slam is countered into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Test spears Edge down for two but the big boot misses. There’s the pumphandle for two but Test’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana. Edge’s spear gets a close two but he can’t hit the Edgecution. Test tries a full nelson slam but Edge rolls through for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C+. This started pretty slow but it got going once Edge was able to start countering Test’s power stuff. In other words, Edge did the work to make Test’s generic big man offense look decent. This was probably the match of the night so far, which isn’t surprising given how hot Edge got in the next year.

Angle comes up to see a stressed out Stephanie. My goodness her acting is bad. I know I say that a lot, but IT’S FREAKING TERRIBLE. She says if the Alliance loses tonight, she’ll have to buy her own groceries and wash her own car. She can’t be a…..a…..a REGULAR PERSON!!! Angle reminds her that she’s special and doesn’t think Austin will jump.

A cage is lowered.

Jeff Hardy and Lita are talking about Matt Hardy being different lately. Matt comes up and yells at them for acting strange and not being focused enough. It turns into a rallying speech and things seem ok. The guys leave and Trish comes out of the same locker room Matt came out of earlier. Keep in mind that Matt is dating Lita at this point.

WCW Tag Team Titles/WWF Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

In a cage. The Dudleys are WCW Tag Team Champions and the Hardys are the WWF Tag Team Champions and Stacy is STUNNING at this point as the Dudleys’ manager. All four belts get laid out between the guys in the ring and it’s time to go. You can win by pin/submission/both members escaping. There are tags required here and it’s Matt vs. Bubba to start. Matt can’t get anywhere so it’s off to Jeff who walks into a Boss Man Slam for two.

D-Von comes in as Heyman talks about Big Daddy Dudley, which JR could not care less about. Back to Matt who rolls D-Von up for two but walks into a reverse inverted DDT for two. Bubba comes in again and drops a bunch of elbows for two. The Dudleys tag in and out a lot and it’s back to Bubba for more punching to Matt’s ribs. Bubba tries to ram Matt into the cage but gets countered into a reverse DDT.

Off to Jeff who cleans house as everything breaks down. Poetry in Motion hits Bubba and Matt climbs but D-Von makes the save. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Jeff which should likely hurt Bubba as well. Bubba goes up again but Matt slams him down for two. Matt gets rammed into the cage but when the Dudleys try to do the same to Jeff, he grabs the cage and tries to climb out, only to get caught in a Doomsday Device (Paul: “WHAT A RUSH!”).

Matt gets crushed against the cage and Bubba whips D-Von into him for good measure. Bubba splashes him as well and the Dudleys are in full control. Jeff gets in a shot and Matt hits a top rope double clothesline to shift the momentum just as fast though. A DDT puts Bubba down for two and Jeff hits the legdrop between D-Von’s legs. A double backdrop takes Ray down again and the Hardys go up.

Matt hits a legdrop and Jeff hits a splash off the top at the same time for two on Bubba. Matt makes a climb but gets pulled down with one leg still stuck in the cage. What’s Up to Jeff and Bubba asks Stacy for a table. Stacy hits on Nick Patrick and picks the key out of his pocket. There’s a table in the ring now but Matt breaks up the 3D by jumping Bubba. Why D-Von didn’t flapjack Jeff through the table is anyone’s guess.

Bubba and Matt go tot he top and pound away at each other until Bubba is knocked down. Matt climbs down to escape but he’s left alone against the Dudleys. D-Von is rammed into the cage a few times and Jeff goes up as D-Von climbs onto the table for no apparent reason. Jeff looks down and sees D-Von there before diving off the top of the cage, but the Swanton misses. Bubba covers the table and therefore Jeff as well for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was the usual good brawl between these teams and it furthers the Hardys’ issues, but at the end of the day this feud was played out at this point. There was nothing left for these two teams to do and at this point it was being dragged out way too far. Still though, good match and a good way to I believe finally end this nearly two year long feud.

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

I won’t bother explaining who all of these people are as most of them won’t be around again after this show. Some are from the Alliance and some are from the WWF but no matter who wins the main event tonight, the winner of this is guaranteed a job for a year. Stasiak is thrown to the floor before the bell rings and is apparently out. Test drops to the floor to hide as Tazz comes in late. Since it’s a battle royal there’s really not much to talk about here. Everyone punches everyone and no one is put out for awhile. Heyman freaks out about Tazz because Tazz choked him out on Smackdown.

Hurricane dives at Faarooq and is clotheslined out by Bradshaw. Albert throws Saturn out and Test, who is back in now, dumps Faarooq. Page is put out by someone we can’t see and Storm superkicks Palumbo out. Morrus and Chavo run in as wildcards because they tried to jump from the Alliance to the WWF on Raw but got fired as a result. Billy dumps Chavo as Morrus is eliminated as well. Tazz dumps Dreamer and Crash as Storm low bridges Spike out. Bradshaw’s clothesline kills Richards and he’s gone.

Tazz stops to run his mouth to Heyman and gets dumped by Billy. Test and Kidman put Albert out. We’re down to Bradshaw, Kidman, Gunn, Test and Storm. I’ve missed a bunch of eliminations but most of them weren’t shown. The fall away slam puts Kidman out and we’re down to four. Bradshaw kicks Storm down and might have hurt his ankle. Things slow way down as Billy and Bradshaw hang on for dear life. Storm and Test team up to put Bradshaw out but Test dumps Storm as well. A big boot eliminates Gunn and Test wins immunity.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, it’s a battle royal so what are you expecting to get? Test would fall through the floor in the next year with no one caring about him at all. This was a pretty big batch of jobbers in there though and that doesn’t really make for an interesting match. Then again, neither do most battle royals.

Sacrifice video by Creed. This was a promotional campaign at the time, with highlight videos set to My Sacrifice by Creed.

Booker is worried about Austin jumping. Shane says it’s ok and stick with it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Ivory vs. Lita vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jacqueline vs. Jazz

Chyna relinquished the title earlier in the year without being pinned and then disappeared so this is the best we’ve got to pick from for the new champion. This is Jazz’s debut and the fans don’t seem to care. Why does no one care? Because Jazz meant nothing in ECW and was a face there but is a heel here. Mighty Molly is Molly Holly as a superhero. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz pounding away. Off to Jackie vs. Molly off some blind tags and somehow even fewer people care about Jackie.

Jackie dropkicks Molly down and it’s off to Ivory who gets caught in a sunset flip for two. This is one fall to a finish. Ivory slingshots Jackie into the ropes and it’s off to Trish for some forearms. Lita gets knocked to the floor and the three Alliance chicks (Ivory, Jazz, Molly) triple team Trish for a bit. Jackie double crosses Lita on Poetry in Motion and everyone hits their finishers on everyone else. The Litasault gets two on Ivory as Jazz saves. Lita gets backdropped to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish left. Stratusfaction gives Trish her first title.

Rating: D. It was short, the match wasn’t any good, Trish looked great in the skin tight barely there pink shorts, Lita looked good as usual, and that’s all I’ve got here. As usual with situations like this, when the previous champion doesn’t lose the title, the new champion comes in at a big disadvantage.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was originally on the team but replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which fits really well.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the Invasion (as were a lot of fans at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

WWF: The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Alliance: Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Also, as goes the stereotype for the WWF, most of their guys are big and strong instead of the more athletic styles of the Alliance team. One other thing: JR keeps up one of the annoying inaccuracies in wrestling by saying that Undertaker won the World Title in his WWF debut. It was a year later, which you should know if you’ve read this far.

Rock and Austin start fighting before the bell and you know the early advantage doesn’t mean a thing in this one. Austin hits the Thesz Press and the middle rope elbow for a very early two. Rock comes back with a middle finger elbow of his own and dares Shane to get in. Off to Booker who gets clotheslined down for two as Shane makes the save. Expect to hear that line quite a bit. Off to Jericho as Heyman blames Vince for the end of ECW.

Van Dam and Jericho have a nice fast paced sequence with Jericho hitting a spinwheel kick for no cover. Jericho chops away but misses a dropkick, allowing Rob to hit the cartwheel into a moonsault for two. For reasons likely related to high levels of drug use, Van Dam tries a standing hurricanrana on Jericho, only to be countered into the Walls. Shane makes the third save of the match already and it’s off to Angle vs. Kane.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Undertaker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

There’s Old School to Booker followed by that lifting wristlock which always looks painful. Off to a short armed scissors followed by a clothesline for two, resulting in ANOTHER save from Shane. Austin comes in to pound on Undertaker (and causing Heyman to say WHAT after everything JR says) but he gets caught in Old School. Say it with me: Shane makes the save. Undertaker gets caught in the wrong corner and quintuple teamed.

Angle is in next and tries to slug it out with the Dead Man for some reason. Undertaker escapes a German and DDTs Angle down. There’s the tag to Big Show and JR almost immediately bashes him, saying Show can make a huge difference, or he can make some huge mistakes. Show throws around RVD and Angle before clearing off the entire Alliance corner. Angle gets underneath Show and there’s the Slam followed by an Ax kick from Booker (and a Spinarooni) and a Five Star and a top rope elbow from Shane for the first elimination.

Shane dances around in celebration before turning around to meet The Rock who beats the living tar out of Shane with right hands in the corner. Off to Kane for a chokeslam, then a tombstone from Undertaker and a Lionsault from Jericho to tie it up. That’s the best way to go as Show and Shane were the weak links on both teams. Angle vs. Jericho now with Jericho hitting the forearm to start. A double underhook backbreaker puts Angle down but Austin saves.

Angle uses an amateur takedown and brings in Booker to slam Chris a few times. RVD gets a tag but one of his shoulders in the corner is countered into a sunset flip for two. Off to Kane who catches a punch from RVD. Van Dam’s comeback? Kick the guy in the head. Kane pulls Booker in and kicks him in the face too but the numbers game allows Van Dam to take Kane down and hit the Five Star. Rob takes too long to cover though and gets caught in a chokeslam, but Booker kicks Kane. Everything breaks down and Rob kicks Kane from the top for the pin to make it 4-3.

Undertaer pounds on Van Dam in the corner while everyone else is fighting on the floor. Austin and Angle get in as well and Undertaker has to fight all four guys at once. He gets them all in a corner and keeps charging at all of them with clotheslines in a cool sequence. Snake Eyes and a big boot take Angle down and there’s a Last Ride for him as well. Booker comes in with a chair but Undertaker boots him down, leaving himself open to a Stunner from Austin and the pin by Angle. That leaves us with Austin/Angle/Booker/RVD vs. Rock/Jericho.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Rob is in next but as he goes up, Rock kind of powerbombs him off the top for two. Jericho gets the tag and hits a running neckbreaker for two before chopping away in the corner. Van Dam avoids the Lionsault and kicks Chris’ head off, followed by the split legged moonsault for no cover. Jericho pops up and hits a Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to tie it up at two each.

Austin slingshots Rock into the post on the floor while Angle and Jericho fight in the ring. Angle picks Jericho’s ankle and stomps away on him as Heyman thinks the Alliance can find a place for the Rock. Back to Austin to pound away on Chris and hit a superplex for two. Austin hits a kind of northern lights/belly to belly suplex for two and here’s Angle again. Jericho puts Kurt in the ankle lock but Kurt quickly escapes and hits a clothesline to take over.

It’s back to Austin for a suplex and an elbow to the face. Angle comes in and stomps away before it’s back to Austin who stomps away as well. We hit one of the few chinlocks in this match as Jericho is in trouble. Jericho fights up and it’s a double tag to bring in Rock vs. Angle with the Great One quickly hooking a Sharpshooter on Kurt for an even faster tap. Heyman LOSES IT in a great moment.

Off to Austin vs. Jericho with Chris trying the Walls but Austin rakes the eyes to escape. Austin can’t put Jericho in the Boston crab either but he gets the knees up to block the Lionsault. Steve loads up a superplex but gets shoved down, followed by a missile dropkick for Jericho for two. Austin counters a rollup out of nowhere for the pin and the elimination to get us down to Rock vs. Austin.

Rock hits a bad spinebuster but Jericho hits a Breakdown on Rock to take him down in a double cross. It’s not joining the Alliance, but rather just personal hatred. That gets two for Austin andUndertaker comes out to stalk Jericho to the back. Austin pounds away before launching Rock over the top and out to the floor. They fight on the floor with Austin being laid on the table and slapped in the chest over and over.

Austin comes back but gets sent over the announce table and punched in the face by Rock. Back in Rock chops away but gets caught in the whip spinebuster from Austin. Austin puts on a bad Sharpshooter and there’s your Montreal reference. Rock finally makes the rope so Austin grabs the WWF Title. Rock ducks the swing and puts Austin the Sharpshooter but he’s afraid to let go of the belt for some reason. I guess realizing he has a job no matter what, he grabs the rope instead.

Back up and Austin’s Stunner is countered into a Stunner from Rock. Why that puts Rock down after Rock had been in control for awhile is beyond me but whatever. Rock covers but here’s Nick Patrick to pull Hebner out. A Rock Bottom to Patrick is broken up and Austin Rock Bottoms Rock for two. Austin drills Patrick and pulls Hebner back in, only to be sent into him again as Rock counters the Stunner. There’s the Stunner to Rock but there’s no referee. Angle runs in and nails Austin with the title, letting Rock hit the Rock Bottom for the pin and the death of the Alliance. JR to Heyman: “You’re out of work! AGAIN!”

Rating: A. This felt like a main event and was very entertaining too. It runs forty five minutes bell to bell and feels like about half of that. At the end of the day, it was pretty clear what was going to happen but that doesn’t make it a bad match. Rock vs. Austin was pretty much done for a long time after this match, which is the right call as they had run it a lot this year. Great stuff here though.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids.

Overall Rating: B+. Like I said, as goes the main event, so goes the show. The rest of the show isn’t bad but the main event is over an hour counting buildup video and entrances and all that jazz. The rest of the show isn’t bad at all with a good cage match and nothing truly bad that didn’t involve Trish looking great, so I can’t complain much here. Also, it gets rid of the Alliance which makes things better already.

As for the Invasion, I could go on at great length, but in short form: it was the biggest waste of time, money, and potential that there ever could be in wrestling. This was the biggest storyline you could possibly ask for and they BLEW IT. There are multiple options you could go with here. One idea is have no mention on TV of the WWF buying WCW and just keep it going with WWF guys in charge behind the scenes. Think a network might have been interested with it being under the direction of the biggest wrestling company ever?

Another option: have the Alliance win. At the end of the day any money they’ve got goes into the WWF’s pocket as they own EVERYTHING, so what difference does it make? Granted that was never going to happen with Vince’s ego, but why let money get in the way of Vince feeling good about himself? The Invasion could have been so much more but it wound up running about five months with the WWF dominating the whole way through. Such a shame and a loss for wrestling fans who had waited for so many years for a chance to have this happen.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

Like I said, as the main event goes, so goes the show. That’s apparently the case here as I liked both better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location; Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

And we have arrived. It’s the end of the Invasion tonight as the main event is Alliance vs. WWF, winner takes all. Naturally the WWF is going to win, but the point was how do we get to that point? It’s a Survivor Series match which at least fits the name of the show and the theme of it. I’ll save my thoughts on the angle as a whole for the end of the review because it’s certainly something that’s historic enough for it’s own thoughts.

Also on the card we have a series of unification matches between the WCW titles and the WWF Titles, but there’s no world title unification match as that would come at Vengeance, in the famous night where Jericho beat Austin and Rock. Oh I almost forgot. HHH is out with injury at this point so he’s not here.

He’ll be back in about two months though to the absolute loudest pop I’ve ever heard. This certainly has the chance to be a good show, but there are several flaws in it that just on paper I can see holding it back from doing so, but maybe I’m wrong. Let’s find out.

For some reason that I don’t get, the poster is Torrie and Lita standing back to back. They look sexy, but what’s the point here?

We open with a very nicely done video package talking about the greatest moments in company history. This does a very good job of showing some of the highlights of the company and tying it in to the current storyline. This was well done.

The theme song for this show is Control by Puddle of Mudd, so that’s all we’ll be hearing all night. That’s a good thing though because it’s a good song. JR and Heyman (Lawler had left the company in February because his wife had been released and he left in protest. The witch left him and he was rehired and would be back next to JR the following night) talk about how this is the biggest PPV of all time. I thought this was 2001, not 1987.

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Christian is in the Alliance at this point, but due to this song and video, he is AWESOME.

Dang that’s awesome. He’s still more or less a comedic guy here, but he’s coming around. I have no idea why he’s with WCW and ECW here, but whatever. Apparently this match was made on Heat, so take that for what it’s worth. Christian cuts a promo before the match, being a basic heel. He says he’s in South Carolina and various things like that. Snow comes out to the Tough Enough music which I always thought was a great song.

Ross gets a great line in about Christian: I’d like to buy him for what he’s worth and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth. That’s not bad at all. More or less this is designed to just give us a good opener as Snow is certainly solid enough to put on a good match. Christian is just ok, so Snow is one of the best choices there was to put in there with him. Naturally all the commentators can talk about is the main event.

For once, I’m ok with that as it really was a big match from a storyline perspective. Snow throws some of the weakest looking punches I’ve ever seen. It’s the most basic move there is and Snow’s are horrible. I’ve never liked that headbutt move that Snow does. I mean the one where he grabs the other guy’s arms and does a series of headbutts. It just looks odd indeed. Ross apparently thinks the back of the head is pretty, as he calls a reverse DDT the Unprettier.

It doesn’t really matter because it didn’t hit but whatever. Actually it does matter because he messes it up again when it hits. Snow hits a quick rollup for two so at least he’s awake. Snow hits the Snow Plow but Christian gets his foot on the rope. Snow looks at the foot but celebrates anyway, setting a fine example for his young wrestlers. The Unprettier ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: C+. Eh, it was there and it didn’t suck. Since it was made an hour ago, how much can they really put together out there? I’m fine with this though as it’s certainly not bad. It’s kind of a weird choice for an opener, but I can see what the point of having it on the show was. Not bad, but certainly nothing great at all here.

Austin is here and the rest of his team is thinking he’ll turn back to the WWF tonight. Vince said that was going to happen tonight, which has everyone in the Alliance panicking. I really hate that name. It doesn’t roll off the tongue at all. Angle and Austin nearly get into it again.

Vince and Linda debate about whether or not they should be worried about tonight. Cole interrupts them in a short sleeved shirt that is just odd looking on him. Speaking of odd, seeing Vince and Linda as a married couple and talking is something I can never remember seeing other than this. It kind of works. Vince more or less says that tonight it’s not a gamble because he has a 6th team member, implying Austin. Regal pops up and says nothing of importance.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

They used to be friends (a long time ago) and then Regal turned heel and beat up Torrie, who was Tajiri’s girlfriend at the time, leading to this. I absolutely love Tajiri’s music. This was supposed to be him vs. X-Pac in a unification match as they were Cruiserweight and Light Heavyweight champions respectively, but Pac was injured. Yeah I was stunned to hear that too.

Regal is freshly heel here, having screwed Angle out of the WWF Title against Austin and becoming Alliance commissioner. There’s just not a lot to talk about in this match as it’s just an intense fight. These guys are hammering the heck out of each other which is nice to see for a change. We get the always cool looking spot of Tajiri (or anyone) getting their head caught between the top and middle ropes.

That’s just sweet every time you see it for some reason. After getting out, Tajiri hits a heck of a kick on the head of Regal. This is a brawl to say the least. And Regal hits a butterfly powerbomb out of nowhere for the pin. Well that was abrupt. Post match Regal beats on him some more and Torrie, rocking some skin tight leather pants, runs out to check on him. Regal beats her up too.

Rating: C. It’s about three minutes long and the finish came out of left field. This should likely be N/A, but the three minutes were rather good with some very hard shots in there. It was good, but that ending was just out of nowhere. Not bad for what they had to work with though so I’ll say it’s ok.

We get a recap of Test vs. Edge, which more or less consists of Test stealing the IC Title from Edge and the Edge winning the US Title. Foley then made a unification match for tonight. It’s very simple, but at least with Test stealing it there’s some history here which is more than you’ll get for most matches in today’s product.

Test is in front of a mirror when Stacy comes up. She implies she’ll sleep with him if he wins after he hits on her. She is so ridiculously hot here it’s not fair.

Edge says that Test is going to lose. He’s ridiculously over at this point as he was on the brink of cracking into the main event and was having the best matches of his career. Unfortunately an injury would put him out for a year in February.

Unification Match: Edge vs. Test

Edge is rocking the Rob Zombie music here, so it’s completely awesome. Edge is over here, but not to the level he would reach once he went to Smackdown exclusively. Hey, did you know that Pat Patterson won the IC Belt in a tournament. Ross advises Edge to use his heart. We’ll ignore the fact that it’s an involuntary muscle and if Edge didn’t use it he would be dead and say that’s good advice as Test really was freakishly strong.

They’re doing that ignore thing, yet Heyman of all people brings the focus back to the title match at hand. Or is it titles match? I’m not sure. Edge really needs to go back to face. It just works better for him. As great as he is as a heel, him as a face is just awesome. This is somewhat back and forth but Test is mainly in control. Ross is once again ticking me off as he’s just running down Heyman while Paul is trying to talk about the match.

Ross actually takes the hint from Paul and talks about Test for a bit. That’s something you don’t see every day. There’s just no drama here at all for some reason. The main reason for that is the match is a lot of punching and kicking so it’s only so interesting. Now we’re getting better here with some nice fast paced kickouts. Test even hits a spear and not a bad one at all. Man he can do more than four moves. Test over Cena apparently.

Anyway, Edge of course kicks out as Heyman talks over and over again about how that’s Edge’s move and Test stole it. The pace speeds up pretty well which gets the crowd into it a lot more. See what happens when you stop just laying around and doing nothing at all? You get a crowd reaction, which is a good thing. Do it more often and you get bigger reactions. That’s basic wrestling psychology, yet sadly enough so many wrestlers don’t get it.

Edge hits the spear and Test kicks out of it as well, and it gets the crowd up and moving even more. I can’t believe it. They’re having more action and it’s getting a better reaction. I’m blown away. Anyway, enough of this sarcastic nonsense, as Test goes for a pumphandle slam and gets rolled up to unify Edge.

Rating: B-. This is a tale of two matches for sure as the beginning was putting me to sleep but it had a strong finish, which is good as it’s the most stuck in the minds of the fans. This was ok, but not much beyond it. I liked it, but I’m a mark for both guys, so therefore it’s unlikely a lot of people would like it. It wasn’t bad, but not great.

Stephanie is worried as Kurt tries to calm her. Stephanie is a bad actress. Like, really bad.

Lita and the Hardys are worried about their match and apparently something is wrong with Matt. This led to a long heel turn for Matt which took nearly a year to pull off. It led to Mattitude though, so it was completely worth it. Lita…yes, in all senses of the word. She runs into Trish coming out of Matt’s locker room. This is before their epic rivalry had really kicked into high gear. Trish in a tight white t-shirt and leather pants is an even bigger yes, if that’s possible. My goodness those are some hot women.

Unification Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Dudleys

This is in a cage by the way. Stacy is managing the Dudleys here and is perhaps the second sexiest she’s ever looked after this same look with glasses. There’s obviously history here but the latest one is from Smackdown where Lita knocked Stacy off the apron and Matt caught her, upsetting Lita. What in the world? What sense does that make? Lita knocks the other chick off and sees Matt beneath her which ticks her off? That is just freaking stupid.

There’s no Lita with the Hardys for no apparent reason, and apparently Matt and Jeff’s dad is a postman. That’s the kind of little trivia we should hear more of. Because this match and era is stupid, you have to tag in and out. Yep, that makes GREAT sense. Jeff is wrestling in a hat because he lives in the moment, whatever that means. Hearing Heyman talk about characters he created is very fun as you can just tell how much he loved ECW. That never gets old.

Excellent shot of Stacy’s camouflaged shorts. In another thing that the announcers (read as Heyman) does well here is point out that Matt and Jeff are the hometown boys. I didn’t catch that and that’s the commentator’s job: point out the little things like that which we might forget. Anyone that ever says that the Divas aren’t beautiful is a freaking idiot. Sorry they just keep showing Stacy and this tagging in and out thing is freaking stupid.

After five or six minutes we FINALLY do something with the cage. To be fair the wrestling is pretty good, but it just makes me wonder what the point of the cage is. Heyman saying WHAT A RUSH makes me chuckle. Jeff tries to escape but it fails as the heels are completely dominating. This is a rather long stretch of the heels dominating which is common in tag team cage matches.

I’m just waiting on the slam of one of those Dudleys into the cage to swing the momentum into the home town boys’ favor. For some reason I think of the Dukes of Hazard when I think of the Hardys. That just popped into my head and I have no idea why. And there’s our stupid heel moment to change the match. Jeff is down in the middle of the ring and both Dudleys go to a top rope. The tagging aspect has been forgotten at this point as it should be.

D-Von misses the headbutt because Jeff rolls out of the way. That’s fine as it’s pretty much the only counter there is to that move. Bubba, ever the genius though, jumps anyway because he’s so much faster than D-Von and he crashes too. Matt takes them both down with a double clothesline and we’re reversed with the faces now in control. Eventually Bubba calls out for a table, which Stacy pulls out.

She shows part of her shapely figure to the referee and picks his pocket to get the table in. That was at least simplistic. Matt gets out and it’s 2-1. D-Von gets thrown into the cage, and Ross says it doesn’t taste like chocolate. Allow me to ask again; WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? And I don’t ask that because it’s funny or witty. I ask that because it MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE! Anyway, Matt is out and D-Von is on the table while Jeff is alone on the top of the cage.

You know what’s coming next. Instead of climbing down, the future 3 time world champion misses the Swanton off the cage and crashes to allow the Dudleys to get the easy pin. Matt isn’t happy, and he’s right. That was SO STUPID. Ross saying Jeff couldn’t resist the temptation is much more ironic than it should be.

Rating: B+. This would be an A if they hadn’t had the tagging thing, but I think it’s getting upgraded because of it. I had this as a B but the more I think about it the more I think that the tagging part at the beginning helped it a lot.

It made me think that in the middle where they just stopped doing it that the thought process was this is too important so screw tagging, let’s just get it all out there. That’s the beauty of a slow build: it makes the payoff much sweeter. Considering how many times these teams have fought, to still be able to have a good match is impressive.

Foley is at WWF New York where he isn’t happy about not being at the show. He points out that as Commissioner he should be there but Vince told him not to, so the Commissionership is a joke. This was part of an angle where Foley pretty much hated his job which he got back after Vince fired him.

He would be gone very soon, with this possibly being his last night in the role. After a little research, I’m right, as other than I think being on Raw the next night in a pretaped segment, he wouldn’t be back until June of 2003 as a guest referee.

Scotty is heading to the ring when he runs into Test. Scotty is actually a freaking jerk to him and gets the beating he deserves. Not because of being a jerk, but because Test wants his spot in the battle royal. My goodness Test and Stephanie need some acting lessons.

Immunity Battle Royal

Simple concept here: since the losing company goes out of business, the winner of this match can’t be fired for a year. First of all, how sweet of a rule would that be? You have a year where you can do whatever the heck you want and no one can say a word about it. The winner of this tries to do that, but it didn’t work out that well. I’ll do what I can to list the participants as they all come out in clusters according to their company affiliation.

Note: the Alliance comes out to Bodies by Drowning Pool. If you’re a fan of that kind of music and have a chance to go see them, go out of your way to do so. The live performance I saw of that song is without a doubt the greatest live song I have ever heard. The girl I was with at the show looked at each other and said in unison: that freaking rocked. They were just an awesome live band and second to only 3 Doors Down (who had light years better production values to be fair) as best I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, while this awesome song plays, we have Justin Credible, Lance Storm (who come out next to each other which is awesome looking for any true ECW fans), Shawn Stasiak, DDP, Raven, Dreamer, some guy I don’t recognize that might be Stevie Richards, Billy Kidman, Hurricane and Test for the Alliance. For the WWF, APA, Crash, Funaki, Saturn, Chuck Palumbo, Hardcore Holly, Albert, Billy Gunn and Spike. My eyesight isn’t that good.

I found a list online about halfway through. For some reason in case you’re wondering, the WWF comes out to Control, the show’s theme song. Stasiak is gone in about two seconds after charging at Bradshaw and being thrown out. Test drops to the floor and fights Albert who never got in for some reason. Something tells me this is going to be hard to call, which is partially why I’m terrified of the Rumbles.

Tazz comes out, ticking off Heyman. Tazz had left the Alliance because he hated Austin and his leadership. So far it’s your standard battle royal formula of people throwing punches, kicks and knees while trying to throw a single person over for about five minutes to look like they’re really doing something while not doing anything at all.

Grego….Hurricane I mean, gets knocked the heck out by Bradshaw and the clothesline. Albert launches Saturn out. For the life of me I’ll never understand why in such a civilized country as ours there’s still so much bald on bald violence. And they’re both from Boston. What are the odds? I’ll also never get why Albert never got a harder push. The guy had all the tools to be a solid heel, so why didn’t it work? Give him a manager and it would have gone fine.

He’s not someone that needs a lot of story behind him. He’s just a big scary looking dude. What more could you ask for? People are going out rather fast now as it’s mainly just dead weight in there that no one cares about. For the life of me I will never get why Billy Gunn got so many freaking pushes. They never ended and they never worked. The Outlaws got over, but Road Dogg was the more important part.

When you think of that team, what’s the first thing in your head? Road Dogg and the catchphrase. Billy’s line was made popular by DX, not him. I think there’s seven left at this point. As best I can tell it’s Richards, Kidman, Billy, Tazz, Bradshaw,, Test and Albert. There goes Richards so we’re down to six. Lance Storm is in there as well. Tazz yells at Heyman and he’s thrown out. In a cool spot, Bradshaw gets rid of Kidman with a fallaway slam over the top rope. That was sweet looking.

The final four are Test, Gunn, Storm and Bradshaw. Bradshaw misses a boot to Storm’s head by about six inches and hurts his leg which I think is legit. He actually hits a neckbreaker that was good though. For some reason the announcers are arguing about Stephanie. The final two are Test and Billy, with Test kicking the tar out of him to win it.

The only problem was that it was obvious given the Scotty segment earlier, but that’s what was expected. Heyman does a very funny bit where he explains what the repercussions of the match are like this: “So no matter what happens, *whispers* the Alliance will win, Test will not be fired no matter what (the Alliance will win!). It’s much funnier than it sounds.

Rating: N/A. I’m going with no rating because it’s a battle royal. How do you grade that? The ending was obvious, but it’s a battle royal. Other than the Rumble, they’re more or less the same, so what do you want me to say?

Now we have a completely random video package of clips of mainly the ten guys in the main event. This is totally out of context and the song has no words or build up to it. It’s just a three minute video of the feud with no words or anything. It’s also the video….OH! This is the WWF Desire videos that they used to run. The original song was My Sacrifice by Creed, but I’m guessing they were way too expensive.

At the time Creed was the hottest thing in the world so that makes sense. The Desire videos were a series of videos that they made attempting to show how important wrestling was. They sound clichéd but they really were freaking sweet at the time and still are. Check them out as they’re worth it. The song fits really well too.

Shane and Booker speculate about whether they can trust Austin or not as we have another few minutes to fill. My only guess is that this is an intermission or something. It’s been about 6-7 minutes since the last match ended. Is there a point to this?

Women’s Title: Trish vs. Jackie vs. Lita vs. Ivory vs. Molly vs. Jazz

Trish’s legs are possibly better than Stacy’s. That’s saying a freaking ton. And now we get to look at Jackie. I can’t stand her. Lita gets a HUGE pop. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it here now: Trish vs. Lita is one of the best feuds I’ve ever seen regardless of gender. It’s the best natural rivalry I’ve seen other than Bret vs. Shawn, which is saying a lot. Molly’s theme music can introduce herself as the song says “Holy sidekicks Hurricane! It’s Mighty Molly”, just as she’s being introduced.

Jazz is debuting here and might as well be the black Chyna. The problem: no one had a clue who she was and she got zero reaction. The rules here are that there are four on the apron and two in the ring so there you go. Ivory and Jackie try to do a nice technical sequence and it just fails in every sense of the word. Trish’s shorts…my goodness that’s not right. More or less it’s a bikini bottom but skin tight.

Other than Lita these women pretty much sucked in the ring. They’re the stereotypical “good” divas that can’t do jack in the ring but we’re told they can and somehow they’re considered good which shows just how weak the division is. We get a Lita chant as naturally everything falls apart and it’s just a wild finisher fest. Trish and the heavenly form send Jazz to the floor and it’s Ivory vs. Trish, who hits the bulldog for the title.

This was her first reign and the first champion after Ivory. She was a complete underdog at this point so this was shocking. Obviously she would improve massively, but this was a big shock. As we transition to the main event, Ross gets a gay joke in about Heyman that surprises me. He says he wouldn’t mind Trish coming into him from behind. I listened to it twice to make sure I didn’t understand it and that’s what he actually said.

Rating: D+. This was a mess, but the looks of Trish and Lita make it pass. It was there for the T & A anyway so who cares. The ending was about as low a level of being historic as you can get while still being historic, so this is technically important, but yeah, it’s about the looks, plain and simple.

After Ross and Heyman bicker like two year olds, Vince addresses his team. We have Big Show, Kane, Taker, Jericho and Rock, with Taker getting a good pop and Rock getting a bit one as he jumps around looking like an idiot. He talks about how if they lose tonight, they will be an embarrassment to everyone and no one will forgive them.

He goes on to list off some names in company history that they would be letting down, including Buddy Rogers (no reaction), Gorilla Monsoon (BIG pop), Andre the Giant (Big pop as he’s looking straight at Taker, bringing about more symbolism than should be allowed), and High Chief Peter Maivia to no reaction at all as I don’t think most people knew who he was. He says forget about Austin tonight.

Jericho just looks out of place there next to Rock and the big three. Also, how appropriate it is to have three super heavyweights given Vince’s affinity for big power guys. Vince was supposed to be on this team but he gave his spot to Big Show, which I like. Vince isn’t a wrestler and for once he makes it about the wrestlers and not him. That’s a good thing. This was a really good speech actually.

Team Alliance (Austin, Booker, RVD, Angle, Shane) come down the hall. Austin is WWF champion and Rock is WCW champion at this point. Let’s hit the recap button for this as the teams might need some explaining, but not a ton. Vince said he had enough of the Invasion and threw out the challenge for this match, which Stephanie and Shane (the owners of ECW and WCW respectively) agreed to.

There’s three main points to this match. First, Angle turned on Vince and the WWF to join the Alliance. Second, Rock and Jericho hate each other, which is a nice touch. Finally, the Alliance doesn’t trust Austin. As for Austin joining the team, it made little sense when he jumped because he said the Alliance guaranteed him the best matches that he could get. By joining them, wouldn’t he be fighting the same guys he had been fighting for years?

Isn’t that saying that the WWF guys are better than the Alliance guys? Or am I reading too much into this? We get a very good video package showing all of the ten people fighting each other, which sounds simple but it’s better than it sounds. It ends with a shot of Austin and Rock, which is the feud in a nutshell.

Team Alliance vs. Team WWF

After literally ten minutes of introductions, we’re ready to go. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music was either funny, hot, or just plain sad. I can’t decide. Immediately it’s Rock vs. Austin, which makes sense I suppose as they’re the real core of this feud. Before you get any other ideas, this isn’t WWF vs. Alliance. It’s a WWF angle, plain and simple. Both guys hit the Thesz Press and the F you elbow with Shane saving Austin despite him not particularly needing it.

Booker vs. Rock follows as we redo Summerslam from this year. Booker was the WCW Rock, complete with the catchphrase to open his song, the People’s Champion mantra, and the finishing move. And that is reason 384 why WCW failed. I need to make a list of that someday. Shane saves Booker this time, so at least that makes sense. WCW violence erupts as Jericho beats up Booker for a bit.

Ross and Heyman argue over who put ECW out of business which is amusing, mainly because according to storyline purposes it’s still in business but whatever. RVD gets a pop and a half. Jericho and Van Dam have a good little match here, as Jericho is wrestling his light weight style which is where I always thought he was best. Today he tends to use the heavyweight style which just doesn’t work that well for me. Jericho hooks the Walls on a counter and Heyman is PANICKING.

Shane of course makes the save though. After a double tag it’s Kane vs. Angle which is an interesting match to say the least. Angle was in between stages in his career here as he’s somewhere between All American good boy and rampaging psycho that knows more ways to hurt people that should be legal. He had recently made Kane tap and Angle Slammed Big Show, so obviously he was on a role at the moment.

Also, this was just after he and Austin had finished an awesome feud with Angle hitting levels of intensity in promo cutting that I didn’t know existed. Those two beat the living tar out of each other, throwing each other all over the place with suplex after suplex in something that was just plain awesome. And because this is pro wrestling they’re friends a month later. Just as I say this, Angle gets a sweet German on Kane. Shane saves Angle as that’s number four.

Now we’re up to Taker and Angle, which is nothing short of a classic most of the time except for when it’s not. Taker hits a sweet kick to Booker’s head to take him down, and of course Shane makes the save again. It makes sense if nothing else though, as he’s the guy with everything to lose. Taker goes for Old School as evidenced by shouting OLD SCHOOL! I really don’t get the point of him doing that. It’s not like he used a wristlock that often.

After Shane makes another save to save us from Booker and Taker’s slow period, Austin comes in. The fans are still way into him, which goes to show how popular he was. Austin vs. Taker really was an epic rivalry. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hogan and Andre when you think about it. You have the big vocal face of the company vs. the guy that’s great but stays in the background most of the time. It’s a simple story but it goes in depth once you look into it a bit.

After the second Old School in about three minutes, Shane…oh screw it you know what he does by now. Taker just starts punching the tar out of Angle which never gets old. Heyman finally does what everyone has wanted to do for years and asks JR what the deal is with his obsession with taking men to the woodshed. Ross has nothing to say as Big Show comes in for the first time, rocking that one piece swimsuit he used to wear.

Naturally he lasts about a minute as an Angle Slam, axe kick, 5 Star and a Shane elbow drop end him to make it 5-4. Can the forces of evil really overcome the forces of good? Heck if I know as there’s at least half an hour left in this match. In a funny moment after the pin, Shane is dancing around celebrating as Rock is waiting on him. The Alliance guys point it out to him and he slowly stops dancing before turning around and looking scared. That was great.

Rock’s punches seem to miss by about a mile to me, but maybe I’m missing something. After a Kane chokeslem, a Taker tombstone and a Lionsault, we’re tied up. Heyman as usual is priceless during this. Angle comes in now as we need a spatula for Shane. I love how Heyman is freaking despite the fact that Shane got the same treatment that Show got earlier. Also I love how he complains about how stupid Show is, despite him taking Show in as the ECW Champion in about five years.

It’s Angle vs. Jericho now in another match that has a natural rivalry that I’ll never get tired of watching. I’ve come to the conclusion that Booker is just flat out boring. He’s been in there about three times now and he’s just killed the momentum every single time. He’s slow and boring, which is a bad combination to consist of.

Ross points out the same thing I noticed earlier about how the WWF is mainly power, which makes sense as most of the Alliance guys are finesse or technical guys, which is either a very subtle and nice touch, or a complete coincidence. The WWF team beats up RVD, prompting Heyman to say he believes they’re trying to isolate him. Well thank you very much for that. I never would have noticed.

Booker and RVD are in at the same time with Kane, who naturally gets no help from his partners because, you know, that would be helpful. Van Dam had pinned Kane and Taker this past week, so he’s hot right now which is kind of a joke considering Kane is in there, but it wasn’t that funny. I need to work on my comedy more I think.

The Five Star (which is still the most amazing live move I’ve ever seen) hits but Kane grabs Van Dam by the throat, leading to Booker running in, which leads to the massive brawl that you knew was coming. During the fracas, Van Dam hits a kick from the top to eliminate Kane. In a cool moment, Taker has one member of the Alliance in each of the corners and keeps them there by running back and forth, clotheslining them all in order.

He does about eight clotheslines in a row before knocking Booker to the floor. Angle takes a Last Ride but Booker comes in with a chair. Taker knocks him down but walks into the Stunner. Angle is dragged over and despite not being legal, gets the pin. That takes us down to Rock and Jericho vs. Austin, Booker, RVD and Angle. Dang that’s a lot of gold between six guys. Booker kicks/knees the tar out of Rock.

Rock hits a DDT and covers Booker but it doesn’t work, which it shouldn’t have any way as Booker’s shoulder was about right inches off the mat. Booker is thrown into Angle, allowing him to be rolled up to make it 3-2. I like that actually, as it’s not something stupid and it actually makes sense for Booker to go out that way.

Rock hooks a cool move on Van Dam as RVD’s back was to the Great One and Rock more or less powerbombs him down, but does it with one arm so it’s like a roll up from the top which gets two. Jericho is finally back in and they nearly botch a spot, but Jericho makes a last second save to turn it into a swinging neckbreaker. That was nice. In a sequence that’s just flat out awesome due to what it means now.

Jericho avoids a split legged moonsault and hits the Breakdown for the pin on Van Dam, which looked awful because Van Dam dropped to a knee so the move got ZERO reaction. The reason it’s cool is Van Dam missed what is now Morrison’s finisher to get caught in Miz’s finisher. That’s awesome and one of the biggest reasons I love watching old wrestling. You get to see stuff like that which wouldn’t have meant a thing eight years ago but now is kind of cool, or at least it is to me.

Who would have guessed it would come down to the four guys that have been fighting on both sides? We have two fights going on at once, with Austin hitting a slingshot on Rock, who of course oversells by more or less throwing a flying headbutt into the post. Heyman says they can find a spot for Rock if nothing else for his t-shirt sales.

We move to Austin vs. Jericho which is a feud that could have been great but never happened, I guess due to a generation gap. I think I might see why now as they badly botch a spot and the bad attempt at a save just fails miserably.

Jericho and Angle are in there now and Jericho hooks the ankle lock as we continue to shame the history of Ken Shamrock, who would win the TNA World Title in about nine months. Actually it was the NWA World Title at the time, but it was exclusive to TNA so whatever. The heels take their time beating on Jericho which at least makes sense. It’s fairly slow and boring, but it’s working to an extent I suppose.

We get a double hot tag to give us Rock vs. Angle. Rock hits the awful belly to belly to set up the even worse Sharpshooter to which Angle shockingly taps. More on that later. Since Rock is a jackass, he won’t let go until Austin knocks him off. Heyman’s panicking is just great here. Jericho can’t get the Walls, but Austin does of all things, but they last about a second. Austin is bleeding, and of course it’s profusely since it’s PPV.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned all match, we suddenly remember that Austin might be jumping, despite Vince saying it was nonsense. Austin counters Jericho’s roll up into one of his own, and wouldn’t you know it, the final two are Rock and Austin. For the life of me, I NEVER would have seen this as the final two. Ok that’s a lie but whatever. As Austin and Rock are getting going, Jericho hits Rock with the Breakdown, which technically should be a DQ.

Actually it shouldn’t be since it’s his own team so never mind. Rock naturally kicks out. Jericho heads back to the ring but Taker comes out for the save. That’s a feud that sadly never happened. They just had their first match in September of this year. That’s saying a lot. If Rock ever sold any big spot properly I think I’d have a heart attack. I get the point in doing it, but it’s just way too much most of the time, at least in my eyes.

They fight to the floor and land in the most famous of all places. Rock lands some punches square in the shoulder of Austin which for some reason keep him down. Ross and Heyman are just laying into each other on commentary and it’s great. I have no issue with the announcers being biased in circumstances like this. Austin hooks a bad Sharpshooter because we have to have a Montreal reference at every major show in history.

Austin isn’t even leaning back on it so it just looks like Rock has his legs up. There’s no heat on the move at all from the crowd because it looks so awful and no one buys that Rock is in a lot of pain at all. A belt shot from Austin misses and it’s the third bad Sharpshooter of the night. Dang is this some golden edition of the Montreal reference package or something? It’s a sad thing when Rock’s Sharpshooter is better than someone else’s but that’s the case here.

In a cool scene, Austin has the WWF belt and is holding onto it as he tries to get to the ropes. For once, Ross points something out and says being champion is Austin’s life and is the reason he won’t tap. That’s ridiculous because it’s been made clear that champions won’t get fired, but at least Ross is trying. In a stupid thing, Austin gets the ropes but Rock pulls him away, so Hebner keeps checking for the submission. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

On the second time though Earl makes him break it. What’s the point of that? Y am I wasting my time trying to figure this out? Since it’s Rock vs. Austin, Rock hits a Stunner, allegedly on the inventor of it, but I don’t see Mikey Whipwreck anywhere. Nick Patrick runs out to pull Hebner out to prevent the three as Heyman says he’s a licensed official.

For some reason the idea of taking the test for your refereeing license amuses me. What’s the test like? If you mess up more than three counts you don’t pass? Do you have to learn how many taps there are in a proper tap out? Ok it’s not as funny as I thought it was. Austin hits a Rock Bottom of his own but of course he kicks out. Austin beats up Patrick, because that’s just what he does.

Since it’s a major PPV, Hebner goes down. Rock takes another Stunner and amazingly only oversells a bit. There’s no referee though as I wonder why Vince doesn’t just call for the bell on his own. It’s his show, so it’s not like it would be mind blowing. Angle runs out and screws the Alliance by hitting Austin with the belt straight into the Rock Bottom for the perfectly timed conscious Hebner to end the Alliance. The crowd was electric over this.

Heyman is at a loss for words, which shows how huge of a moment this is. Ross screams that Heyman is out of work AGAIN, which is great. Fink’s announcement of the winning organization is absolutely perfect. Stephanie is crying badly as the WWF guys are celebrating. What I meant earlier was that Angle was apparently sent into the Alliance by Vince, and it turned out that Angle, not Austin, was the one that would turn all along.

This wound up ticking off Taker, setting up his heel turn and massive haircut. Oh look, it’s Vince to take credit for something that he played absolutely zero part in. It’s good to know that some things never change. The sight of Vince holding up his arms in triumph in a WCW town no less takes us out.

Rating: B. The two problems here are very obvious. First of all, there was zero chance that the WWF would lose. Second, it was beyond obvious that it would come down to Austin vs. Rock in their I guess 23rd PPV ending fight. The match itself is good if not very good, but there’s just no drama whatsoever, which they clearly tried to put in by having Jericho and Rock against four guys and then Jericho screwing Rock.

Even still though, the ending was never once in doubt. I get that it had to be that way, but they booked themselves into a huge corner here and it showed badly. I don’t think this could have been a classic, but it was about as good as it could have been.

As for what happens after this, the next PPV, Vengeance, would be the famous night where Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night for the first ever Undisputed Title. Allegedly that was supposed to go to HHH but he wasn’t completely healed yet. He would take the belt from Jericho at Mania. Also, tomorrow night Flair would show up as the person that bought up Shane and Stephanie’s stock and became co-owner in a shocker.

That would eventually lead to the Brand Split which still defines the company to this day. As for the rest of them, nothing of note happened at all. Naturally the major stars of the Alliance stayed while a lot of the weaker guys became jobbers. The Brand Split really did help a lot of issues as it saved a lot of jobs. Who cares that the fans hated it? Since when have we cared what they think? Oh and on a final random note, Lawler would be back tomorrow on Raw.

Overall Rating: C+. The problem with this show as a hole is simple: other than the main event, not a thing mattered. No one cared about anything but the Survivor Series match. While the other stuff is technically important, no one cared and that’s all there was to it. The show is good enough, but the lack of drama just kills it. If it were me, I would have waited at least another six months for this, but granted I wasn’t around for it and there could have been outside factors.

I can’t imagine what they could have been, but they might have existed. The show is worth checking out for the historic aspect, but I’d say just check out the cage match and the main event, because other than that the show is completely forgettable. I barely remembered anything about the card at all when I watched it if that tells you anything. Not really recommended, but it’s not bad enough to recommend to avoid.

Ok, so now that the show is over, my thoughts on the Invasion as a whole. Clearly it wasn’t what it could have been had they been patient and waited about another year to have Hogan, Nash, Flair, Goldberg and I guess RVD out there. Flair showed up on Raw the next night, Hall, Nash and Hogan in February, so it’s not like these guys were an eternity away. But that’s not the biggest issue I see in why it failed. Take a look at Team Alliance for this show.

We have Austin, Angle, Booker, RVD and Shane. In other words, three WWF guys and one each from ECW and WCW. That’s where this show and plan falls apart on all levels. This never was about WWF vs. ECW or WCW. It was about putting down the other two companies to stroke Vince’s ego even more which is evidenced at the end of the show. Vince celebrating is the last thing you see, as it’s his moment again rather than the company’s or the wrestlers’.

That’s why the company is in the shape it’s in now: it’s all about Vince. Think about all the bad comedy angles that go on, especially with the guest hosts. It’s because Vince has no idea what’s funny anymore. He’s mainly on Raw and that’s where the stupid stuff happens. Smackdown and ECW are well written, action-oriented shows, which is what they’re supposed to be.

On paper this looks awesome, but with so few people that actually make sense in this, there was just no way it could work. It could have worked had it been given more time and effort, but there’s just no way to pull off what should have been the biggest storyline of all time in six months, plain and simple.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Judgment Day 2006
Date: May 21, 2006
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for what feels like the most B level pay per view in a good while. The main event is the loser of a World Champion in Rey Mysterio defending against perennial challenger JBL, who has been racist against Mysterio while accurately pointing out how terrible of a champion he is. Other than that, it’s time for Great Khali to destroy the Undertaker again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how everything leads here and all of your decisions will determine your fate.

Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Brian Kendrick/Paul London

MNM is defending and has Melina with them. London and Nitro start things off but the champs have to pause for posing. Nitro runs the ropes but gets tripped down, allowing Kendrick to come in and crank on the arms. A double clothesline gets two on Nitro but he takes Kendrick into the corner for the tag off to Mercury. That means a double hiptoss from Kendrick and London into a double elbow, followed by a big dive from Kendrick.

Back in and Mercury takes out London’s leg and a double gutbuster gets two. Melina adds a headscissors on the apron and Tazz is rather jealous. We hit the chinlock for a bit but the fans help bring London to his feet. The hot tag brings in Kendrick but he’s cut off in a quick Snapshot for two, sending Melina into freaking out mode. The chinlock goes on again, followed by a double legdrop from the champs. Kendrick gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Melina and it’s right back to the chinlock.

Back up and the champs are sent into each other for the breather and the hot tag brings London back in to clean house. The Dropsault takes the champs down for two but Melina screams at the referee for the save. Kendrick misses a slingshot dive to the floor but Mercury hits Nitro by mistake, knocking him into Melina. A rollup with a bridge gives London the pin and the titles.

Rating: B-. This was a very good choice for an opener with a mostly fast paced match and someone as evil as Melina getting what was coming to her. London and Kendrick have been ready to win the titles for months now so it was the right call to finally give them the belts. MNM had lost so many times lately that it was long overdue for them to lose, which is kind of shame given how good the act really is.

Post match Melina slaps Mercury so he grabs her arm, causing Nitro to jump him. Melina slaps Mercury in the face and tries to leave with Nitro, but Mercury is back up to start the fight again. Referees and Teddy Long come in for the save but Long is shoved down in the melee.

Video on the King of the Ring.

Chris Benoit vs. Finlay

They had a good match a few weeks ago so this should work. Finlay takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. The lockup goes all the way to the floor and against the barricade before they finally break up. Back in and they go nose to nose until Benoit grabs the legs for a failed Sharpshooter attempt. The chinlock goes on Finlay instead before Benoit switches over to a headlock. Finlay accuses Benoit of an eye poke though and then jumps him when the referee stops to check on things.

It’s a chinlock on Benoit this time but he isn’t sitting in that for very long. Instead it’s Benoit getting up and unloading in the corner, setting up another chinlock. Benoit tries to switch into the Crossface before turning Finlay over for two. Finlay hits him in the face and then pulls on the arm while putting his foot on Benoit’s head for some pulling. The chinlock is countered and Benoit snaps off another German suplex, followed by the Swan Dive for two.

Finlay is right back with a knockdown of his own into a running seated senton and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back. A hammerlock/dragon sleeper combination (that’s a new one) keeps Benoit down and Finlay just pounds him in the back. Finlay says get up so he can show Benoit how tough he is. That means a clothesline to drop Benoit again but he’s right back up with a German suplex.

They head outside with Benoit hitting another German suplex on the floor, followed by Three Amigos back inside. The threat of another Swan Dive makes Finlay knock him off the top, with Benoit’s head hitting the barricade. Back in and Benoit’s shoulder goes into the post but he’s fine enough to snap on the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: B+. Oh like these two getting twenty minutes wasn’t going to be really good. They had an awesome match a few weeks back and now they did it again on the bigger stage. These two compliment each other really well and it felt like a fight with wrestling moves instead of a match, which worked very well. I could go for it again and it’s the kind of match where you could see it going either way.

We recap Jillian Hall vs. Melina, which started over makeup, as many feuds do.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Johnny Nitro gets ejected before the bell so Jillian attacks in a hurry. Jillian hammers on the mat and hits a Hennig necksnap. Melina tries to bail to the floor but gets sent into various things. Back in and Melina stomps her down and grabs a choke, followed by a bodyscissors. Some knees to the ribs in the corner have Jillian down again but she sends Melina face first into the buckle. A sunset flip gets the fast pin on Melina, though she had her hand on the rope.

Rating: D+. I’ve liked this feud since the beginning and all things considered, this was a near miracle. They aren’t exactly great in the ring and yes a lot of this is about eye candy, but they have been putting in the effort and intensity to make it a pretty fun little feud. I don’t need to see it again, but for what it was, it worked out rather well.

Melina yells a lot post match and Kristal to ask if Melina got what she deserved. The fight is on and broken up in a hurry.

JBL promises to beat Rey Mysterio to take the title tonight because it’s what he does when the lights are on bright. Chavo Guerrero comes in and says JBL needs to stop living in the past. Oh and VIVA LA RAZA.

We look at Steve Austin winning the King of the Ring.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Super Crazy

Crazy is challenging. They circle each other to start until Crazy grabs a backslide for two. Crazy hangs on instead of being sent outside and it’s a clothesline to put Helms on the floor. A big dive over the referee takes Helms down again and it’s all Crazy to start. A swinging neckbreaker gives Helms two and a regular version is good for the same. It’s off to something close two a Crossface but Crazy is back up, only to get elbowed back down. We hit the seated abdominal stretch, followed by a chinlock to keep Crazy down.

Helms’ sleeper is countered into a rollup for two and the comeback with on with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Crazy gets two off a middle rope dropkick but misses the moonsault. The Shining Wizard misses as well though and Crazy hits a spinwheel kick for two more. Helms gets a boot up in the corner to slow him down and a middle rope Blockbuster gets another near fall. Crazy tosses him into the corner but Helms grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes to retain.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given television show and that’s not a terrible thing. They weren’t likely to steal the show here as the Cruiserweight Title hasn’t meant anything in a long time. The wrestling was fine as Helms can wrestle with anyone, but was anyone buying Super Crazy as having a real chance at winning here?

Melina and Johnny Nitro come in and yell at Teddy Long about what has happened tonight so Melina slaps him in the face. Long fires both of them.

We look at Kurt Angle winning the King of the Ring.

Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle

Henry has injured Angle’s ribs in recent weeks and clears off the announcers’ table before Angle comes out. Mark grabs the mic and says he hurts people but here’s Angle to swing away. Angle can’t get in a whip to the corner so he settles for a middle rope flip dive to drop Henry. A front facelock goes on so Henry backdrops him over. The sitdown splash misses though and Angle hits a basement dropkick.

They head outside with Angle not being able to German suplex him through the announcers’ table. Back in and Angle takes the monster down by the leg and cranks away but Henry fights up with pure power. A kick to the chest drops Angle in a hurry and it’s time for a reverse chinlock to stay on the back. Angle fights up again and has to counter the World’s Strongest Slam into a tornado DDT for the double knockdown.

They slug it out and Angle snaps off the German suplex into the Angle Slam for two. Angle is all fired up so Henry cools him down with a clothesline. The World’s Strongest Slam (which connected during a split screen) gets two and it’s Henry’s turn to be frustrated. The yelling takes too long so Angle pulls him into the ankle lock, which is countered with a whip out to the floor. Henry teases the splash through the announcers’ table but does splash Angle against the post for the countout win.

Rating: C-. Henry was doing what he could here and can make the power stuff work rather well at times. On the other hand, Angle was doing a lot of the work here and that’s probably the best format for everyone involved. It was certainly miles ahead of their Royal Rumble match, though that isn’t exactly the biggest surprise.

Post match Henry loads up Angle for the World’s Strongest Slam but Angle fights up and destroys Henry with a chair. The Angle Slam over the table has Henry mostly done and a chair shot through the table ends him for good.

Sharmell says tonight Booker is going to show that he’s better than King Tut, Don King, Martin Luther King Jr. and King James. Maniacal laughter ensues.

We recap the King of the Ring tournament and the paths to the finals.

King of the Ring Tournament Finals: Booker T. vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley shoves him down and the bell rings, followed by Lashley taking it into the corner with pure power. The running clothesline gives Lashley two and it’s time to start on the arm. Back up and Lashley throws him down again, followed by a running clothesline out of the corner. Booker finally avoids a charge though and Lashley goes shoulder first into the post.

The banged up arm is wrapped around the rope, followed by the armbar to keep it in trouble. Booker loads up the ax kick but Lashley is right back up with a forearm to knock him silly. Sharmell’s distraction doesn’t work as Lashley suplexes him down, only to have Sharmell grab the leg to block the spear.

The Book End gives Booker two and Lashley’s powerslam gets the same. Lashley charges into a boot in the corner and the ax kick connects for another near fall. There’s the spear to cut Booker down but Sharmell offers a distraction, allowing Finlay to come in with the Shillelagh to the head for the pin and the crown.

Rating: B-. They were working fast here and they might have had one too many near falls. Finlay coming in was a little annoying but I’ll take that over Lashley getting pinned clean or even with feet on the ropes or something like that. Booker is a better choice for the King though as Lashley hasn’t exactly shown an in-depth personality.

Post match Booker goes to sit on the throne but Lashley knocks it over like a sore loser.

Video on Great Khali vs. Undertaker, with the latest new monster taking Undertaker out with no issue. Undertaker hasn’t been seen since but has issued the challenge.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

Daivari is here with Khali. Undertaker strikes away to start and is quickly sent outside, leaving him looking rather confused. Back in and Undertaker fires off right hands, only to get tossed to the floor again. A Stunner over the top rope staggers Khali a bit but Old School is slammed off the top with ease. There’s a clothesline to drop Undertaker again and Khali kicks him to the floor.

Khali whips him knees first into the steps and it’s mostly one sided so far. Back in and a slugout gives Undertaker the slightest glimmer of hope but Old School only staggers Khali. The jumping clothesline gets Khali’s arms tied in the ropes but Daivari breaks him free in a hurry. A big boot into the chop to the head drops Undertaker and another big boot lets Khali put his foot on the chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. As you might have guessed, this made me think of Jillian vs. Melina earlier. They weren’t going to have some kind of a classic because Khali can barely move, but he did a good enough job with what he could do. Khali uses a limited offense because it’s all he needs to do. Why should he do anything besides big boots, chops and the like? Undertaker sold them like death and that is the kind of thing that makes Khali look as good as possible. This could have been much worse, but it did what it was supposed to do by making Khali look like a destroyer.

We recap JBL vs. Rey Mysterio. Rey won the World Title at Wrestlemania and has promptly been destroyed by almost everyone since then. JBL doesn’t like Rey because he’s from Mexico (at least in JBL’s mind) and because people cheer for Eddie Guerrero instead of Rey. Now it’s time for Rey to get the win back, but he has taken so much damage over the last few weeks that another JBL reign doesn’t sound too bad.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Only Rey is defending as I had completely forgotten JBL was US Champion. The EDDIE chants begin and Rey slugs away, with JBL looking a little surprised. Some strikes to the leg set up a quickly broken headlock so Rey slaps him in the face. The threat of the 619 sends JBL outside and it’s a seated senton off the apron to take him down again. Back in and a basement dropkick gives Rey two and he hammers away in the corner.

The referee gets distracted for a second and Rey gets in a low blow, only to have JBL come back with a big boot. They head outside with Rey being whipped into the steps and it’s already time to go back in. A right hand puts Rey on the floor again, with JBL sending him into the steps a second time. JBL hits Three Amigos before dropping him ribs first into the top rope as Rey is busted open.

That means another trip to the floor with JBL making Rey’s wife look at the blood. Some short arm clotheslines put Rey down again and JBL gets two, with the kicking making him panic. We hit the chinlock to squeeze some blood out of the head but JBL lets him go at two arm drops to cover instead. Rey breaks up the belly to back superplex and gets his own two off a moonsault press, followed by a kick to the head for the same.

JBL is back up with a powerbomb attempt but it’s a hurricanrana to set up the 619 instead. The referee gets pulled in the way of the West Coast Pop though, meaning the Clothesline From JBL gets a very delayed two. JBL grabs the chair but it gets kicked back into his face, setting up the frog splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This felt like it should have been for the Intercontinental Title in a featured match on Smackdown rather than headlining a pay per view. They have done a horrible job of devaluing the World Title in the last few weeks. Rey retaining here felt a bit like what would happen if MNM retaining in the opener. That’s not exactly the best way to present the main event of a pay per view, but the match itself was fairly good.

Chavo Guerrero comes out to celebrate and get us through the required tribute to Eddie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was actually pretty good for a two hour and forty five minute pay per view that isn’t going to mean anything in a few days, even with such a lame main event. Most of the matches were either good or fairly short, much like how Smackdown feels most of the time. They have to do something different with Rey though because this title reign is bringing everything else down.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 19, 2006
Location: Tingley Coliseum, Albuquerque, New Mexico
Attendance: 5,757
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Judgment Day and my goodness it’s a pretty sad world around here. World Champion Rey Mysterio is on a losing streak to various monsters and tonight he gets to face a mystery monster. Given that it’s MAY 19 and we’ve spent months on Kane talking about MAY 19 and his new movie comes out on MAY 19, I’m thinking the Great and Powerful Oz. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at JBL tormenting Mysterio and making it work, because Rey being World Champion is a pesky annoyance.

Opening sequence.

Here’s JBL in his limo to open things up. After declaring himself an American hero, he wants to acknowledge the heart of Rey Mysterio. See, Rey’s people have that machismo, which is Spanish for having more guts than brains. That’s what JBL had when he defeated Eddie Guerrero. Latinos have passion but passion doesn’t pay the bills. The fans chant for Rey, which JBL says they should do now because JBL is taking the title on Sunday. JUST LIKE HE DID FROM EDDIE GUERRERO! I’ve seen herds of cows that weren’t milked as much as Eddie.

MNM/Melina vs. Jillian Hall/Paul London/Brian Kendrick

The Fink is on commentary here and describes MNM/Melina as “the threesome that contains the WWE Tag Team Champions, MNM!” The brawl is on before the bell and we’re joined in progress after a break with Kendrick headlocking Nitro. A headlock takeover out of the corner puts Nitro down and it’s off to London to work on the arm. Mercury comes in to send London into the buckle so Kendrick comes back in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Kendrick gets chop blocked to put him in trouble. Nitro comes in to tie up the leg and it’s back to Mercury to cannonball down on the leg. The leg twisting continues and it’s Mercury (who is incredibly sweaty) dropping an elbow on the leg to keep him in down. The breakdancing legdrop gives Nitro two (and allows Melina to scream), followed by a headscissors from Melina on the apron.

Kendrick kicks Mercury into the corner for the break though and the hot tag brings in Nitro to pick up the pace. Melina tags herself in for the catfight (and a BIG pop) until Mercury makes a save. Jillian comes in with a high crossbody (which the camera mostly misses, possibly intentionally) for the pin.

Rating: C-. I can always go for the idea of putting two feuds into a big tag match so this worked fine. They almost have to change the titles on Sunday after all of these losses, but I’ve also liked Melina vs. Jillian. No it isn’t setting the world on fire, but they’re both being intense and it comes off like they really don’t like each other. I’ll give points for trying and they’re giving it what they can so well done.

Clip of the Judgment Day press conference. The pay per view’s theme song is This Fire Burns so I keep expecting a CM Punk cameo.

Cole: “Who will be Rey Mysterio’s mystery opponent tonight?” This is followed by a See No Evil package. They never have been good with subtlety.

Video on Mark Henry injuring Kurt Angle.

Angle talks about meeting Mark Henry at the 1996 Olympics. That’s when Angle won the gold medal but Henry won…nothing. Henry has been angry ever since and tried to hurt Angle, but Kurt isn’t Batista and he’s still standing. On Sunday, Henry is learning that Angle is the best wrestler in the world.

Bobby Lashley vs. Jared Steel

Lashley knocks him into the ropes to start and hits a belly to belly suplex as the beating is on in a hurry. Some shoulders set up the gorilla press and there’s the delayed vertical suplex. The spear is good for the pin in a hurry.

Post match Lashley goes to sit on the King of the Ring throne but here are Booker T./Sharmell to interrupt. They walk by Lashley to go to the ring, which means Lashley can’t sit down for some reason.

Raw Rebound.

Gunner Scott/Chris Benoit vs. Booker T./Finlay

During the entrances, Finlay vs. Benoit is announced for Sunday. Scott and Booker lock up against the ropes to start with Booker not being thrilled at being driven into the corner. Some chops and a back elbow give Scott two but Booker thumbs him in the eye. Finlay comes in and Gunner manages to wrap his leg around the rope for a kick to said rope. You don’t do that to Finlay, who knocks him down and grabs a quickly broken chinlock.

It’s back to Booker, who hits his own chops in the corner. Scott gets two off a suplex but Booker kicks him back down for the same. The chinlock goes on and Scott seems to be bleeding from the nose or mouth. Scott manages to fight up and gets over for the hot tag to Benoit so house can be cleaned. Booker breaks up the Sharpshooter attempt so Benoit chops him as well and gets two off the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Scott gets knocked from the top to the floor in a big crash as we take a break.

Back with Scott still in trouble as Booker unloads on him against the ropes. A Russian legsweep gives Scott a breather though and the hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house. Finlay pulls Benoit to the floor for a ram into the steps though and it’s a Shillelagh shot to the ribs to make it worse.

Booker is smart enough to grab an abdominal stretch but Benoit is out in a hurry for the German suplex. It’s back to Scott for a middle rope dropkick with Finlay having to make a save. Everything breaks down again with Benoit and Finlay falling to the floor but here’s Lashley to sit on the throne. That’s enough of a distraction for Scott to grab a crucifix for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. This was an intense match with everyone working hard. It might not have happened yet, but it’s nice to see them trying something with Scott. You can always go with trying someone new in a spot and maybe it will work out for him. The match was good too, with some back and forth action and Benoit and Finlay beating the heck out of each other. Having them do it again on their own on Sunday should be just fine.

Tatanka is now part of the Lakota Tribe and will debut next week. I can’t wait either.

Here’s Daivari to explain why Undertaker is scared of Great Khali. We see a video of Undertaker’s dominance over the years, only to have Khali destroy him with such ease. Back in the arena, Khali comes out to say “rest in peace.” At least that’s what commentary claims he said.

Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

This show loves its monsters. Hardy knocks him to the floor and drops an ax handle from the apron. A posting lets Hardy hit the middle rope legdrop for one, meaning it’s time for the destruction to begin. Henry forearms him in the back and grabs the bearhug but Hardy is out in a hurry. The Twist of Fate attempt is countered into a World’s Strongest Slam for the pin.

Post match Henry tells Angle to watch this and hits some splashes.

Another See No Evil video.

Vito and Guido are ready to go out again but here is Paul Burchill to say he saw Vito in a dress too. Guido doesn’t believe it.

Judgment Day rundown.

Rey Mysterio vs. ???

Non-title but before we find out who the opponent is, here’s JBL for commentary and a pre-match chat. After saying we’re in Albuquerque, North Mexico, JBL asks Rey if he knows what the date is. Rey: “May 19.” JBL:” YOU SAID IT NOT ME!” Cue Kane and we’re ready to go. Kane punches him down to start and the beating is on as Cole is losing his mind on commentary. Rey kicks at the legs but gets knocked out of the air as Cole goes on about JBL being sick.

A two arm chokeslam drops Rey again and Kane drops him face first onto the steps. JBL again talks about how the fans are chanting for Eddie instead of Rey, which really doesn’t do much good for Rey but that might be the least of his problems. Rey gets knocked down again but the lights go red.

Kane’s voice comes onto the loudspeaker to talk about how it’s May 19^th and it’s happening again. A 619 hits Kane but he’s right back with a chokeslam as the lights come back on. Kane goes to leave but JBL says Rey is the one who said May 19, earning himself a chokeslam to end the show. No finish to the match so things are looking up for Mysterio.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and wasn’t quite a shocking surprise. I’m sure it’s supposed to be all better when Rey retains over JBL, but JBL has been right on almost every point so far. The racist stuff is the only heel part about him (granted that’s a big part) though and otherwise, it’s really hard to cheer for Rey at this point, when he’s being presented as a face version of the heel who loses all the time but keeps pointing to the title like it makes everything ok.

Overall Rating: C-. That tag match in the middle helped but man alive that main event stuff is killing everything else on the show. The worst part is we’re probably going to see even more of it after Sunday as Rey beating JBL is the kind of thing that would make WWE think everything is equal. Not their worst show, but one match is all that’s keeping it afloat this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time to start building towards the next Smackdown pay pr view as Backlash has come and gone. Therefore, it’s time for Rey Mysterio to continue looking like the weakest World Champion in history, which kind of defeats the purpose of making him the World Champion in the first place. It’s rather sad to see but that’s what you get around here sometimes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event where Kurt Angle had Rey Mysterio in a lot of trouble until Mark Henry ran in for the DQ. Henry destroyed Angle after the match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Mysterio, who is officially defending against JBL at Judgment Day, to get things going. Rey talks about how awesome it is to be champion every day and he’s loving it all. He was ready to tap last week…and here’s JBL to interrupt. JBL says it isn’t over yet amigo but at Judgment Day, it’s the American hero vs. the masked illegal immigrant. There is a place in JBL’s America for illegals though, because just last week there was a mass walkout to shut down all kinds of things across the country.

The fans chant for EDDIE, with JBL saying how it’s always either for EDDIE or JBL because no one cares about Rey. Anyway, there are always places for illegals to take out his garbage or clean his house. It’s the size of the fight in the dog. Rey asks if JBL is calling his people dogs. JBL: “You’re not a dog Rey. You’re a Mexican.” JBL goes on a rant about Rey living off of Eddie’s legacy so Rey says he’ll fight anyone, anytime. That works for JBL, so Rey can fight this man tonight. Cue Mark Henry, who just happened to be standing behind the curtain I guess. The staredown is on and I don’t see this going well. Again.

Booker T. vs. Gunner Scott

Rematch from three weeks ago where Scott scored a big upset. During the entrances, Cole announces that Booker is going to the King of the Ring finals because Kurt Angle has injured ribs and can’t compete. Booker runs him over to start and elbows his way out of a hammerlock attempt. Scott strikes his way out of the corner, only to get caught in a hot shot. We hit the chinlock but Scott fights up with more strikes. Some suplexes have Booker in trouble until he hits the hook kick to the face. A Sharmell distraction sets up the ax kick to give Booker the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a way to right the ship after Booker lost a few weeks back and doesn’t get the King of the Ring match. I’m not sure how much Booker needed the win, but at least he gets some momentum heading into a bigger match. Booker could make for a pretty good king, and the fact that he is talking about it more than anyone else would suggest he is a likely candidate.

Post match, Booker is proud of his win over Gunner somebody and promises to win the tournament. His subjects need to get used to bowing down.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM

MNM is…not defending here as they jump London and Kendrick from behind. Kendrick takes a pair of Snapshots and there’s no match.

Video on Tatanka entering a Lakota sweat lodge to be purified so he can become a warrior.

Great Khali and Daivari come in to see Teddy Long, who has a contract signed by Undertaker for a match at Judgment Day. Khali growls a bit.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

The winner gets Lashley in the semifinals. Finlay drives him into the corner to start but doesn’t get very far. Benoit gets it to the mat for a headlock and then switches to an armbar to counter Finlay’s counter. Finlay winds up mounting Benoit, who punches his way from the mat to get out. Back up and they go nose to nose until Finlay starts slugging away to knock Benoit into the corner.

That earns him a leg takedown with Benoit cranking on the leg. The hold sends Finlay over to the ropes for the break as the chess game continues. Benoit gets sent shoulder first into the post and it’s time to work on an armbar. Some shoulders are driven into Benoit’s shoulder so he sweeps the leg for a failed Sharpshooter attempt. The top of Benoit’s head has been busted open (not that badly) and he can’t get the Crossface t make things even worse.

The release German suplex works though and Finlay comes up holding his shoulder. It’s so banged up that he rolls outside and throws in some chairs as we take a break. Back with Benoit getting two more off a snap suplex but getting sent chest first into the buckle. We hit the chinlock until Benoit jawbreaks his way to freedom, only to get pulled down into another facelock.

Finlay sends him into the corner but misses a charge into the post. The rolling German suplexes set up a missed Swan Dive but Benoit ducks a Shillelagh shot. With the referee getting rid of the club, Finlay gets in a chair shot, setting up the Celtic Cross for the pin to advance.

Rating: B. This was a good example of a match with two guys beating the heck out of each other for a long time and it was rather entertaining. They kept Benoit looking strong in defeat and Finlay gets one of the biggest wins of his WWE tenure. Sometimes you need two people beating the fire out of each other until one of them is done and that’s what you got.

Gymini vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Funaki

Simon Dean fires the Gymini up before the bell. We’ll say Gymini #1 puts Funaki on the top rope to start and #2 pulls him down to the floor in a crash. Back in and #2 stomps in the corner and we hit the chinlock. There’s a butterfly suplex to drop Funaki again but this time he rolls over and brings in Scotty, who gets suplexed down in a hurry. The Crash Diet (kind of a double powerbomb) finishes Scotty in a hurry.

Rating: D+. Total squash here, but does beating up Scotty and Funaki really mean that much? You can only get so far off a match like this and it feels like the Gymini debuted months ago. It isn’t a hard gimmick to make work, but they’re managing to make two muscleheaded twins look like a big waste of time. That’s hard to do.

Video on See No Evil.

Bobby Lashley comes in to see Booker T., who is in a towel. They both promise violence.

Super Crazy vs. Kid Kash vs. Nunzio

The winner gets a title shot at the pay per view. They start with the rapid exchange of shots to the face until the Sicilian Slice gets two on Crazy. Kash and Nunzio are sent outside for the top rope Lionsault from Crazy….and here’s Great Khali to destroy them all for the no contest.

Khali destroys them all for a bonus feature.

Raw Rebound.

Judgment Day rundown, with Khali having accepted Undertaker’s challenge and Melina vs. Jillian Hall confirmed.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and JBL is on commentary. After the same video that opened the show, we’re ready to go. Rey starts dodging around to start but nearly gets caught after a chase around the ring. Back in and Henry slugs away, only to get knocked down in a hurry. JBL goes after Rey on the floor and gets sent over the announcers’ table.

Back in and Rey’s springboard is knocked out of the air, which JBL says is like Henry eating Rey like a $3.99 pizza buffet. Cole and JBL argue about whether underdogs or rich people built America as Henry runs Rey over. Some missed charges in the put Henry down and Rey reverses the World’s Strongest Slam. A dropkick to the back sets up the 619 but Henry pulls him out of the air for the World’s Strongest Slam and the pin.

Rating: D+. And so one of the lamest World Title reigns of all time gets to continue because WWE thinks this is what you’re supposed to do to make fans pay for a big show at the end of the month. If you don’t want Mysterio as the champion, just have him drop the title already, because this isn’t helping the title in the slightest. I guess Vince found it funny or something though and that’s all we’ve got.

Post match Henry drags him up to the stage and loads up a splash off the set but JBL runs up to say no. JBL promises him the first title shot when he beats Rey, because if Henry crushes him then there’s no title shot. With Rey still down, JBL makes Mysterio vs. Great Khali for next week in Rey’s hometown of San Diego.

Overall Rating: D. What a strange show. This was a bunch of pretty bad matches with one really good one stuck in the middle. That’s not enough to save the rest of it though and we get this kind of a show, which only left me wanting to get through the pay per view so we can move on to anything else.

So far JBL has humiliated Rey, pointed out that no one really likes him, or even chant for him for that matter. Then you have Rey ready to lose to Angle and then actually lose to Henry here. Imagine any other face World Champion ever being presented like that and see how fast you get a quick headache. Benoit vs. Finlay was good, but that was nowhere near enough to save us from the really bad main event angle.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 28, 2006
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s time for a huge main event in 2/3 of a Wrestlemania rematch. This time around we have Rey Mysterio defending the World Title against Kurt Angle, with JBL waiting on the winner. Other than that it’s time to continue the King of the Ring as we continue the lull before the next Smackdown only pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video is about Mysterio vs. Angle. Does it need to be anything else?

Opening sequence.

Here’s JBL, in a Rolls Royce, for a US Title defense and a chat. And yes he has an American flag in hand and an American flag jacket. Before the match, JBL brags about America and how much England needs them. If British Prime Minister Tony Blair is George W. Bush’s poodle, then every British person is America’s stepchild.

Therefore, tonight JBL is throwing them a bone by giving an Englishman a US Title shot. How tough can the challenger be though? After all, the British follow a queen, which has JBL on his knees in laughter. The fans chant for ENGLAND but JBL says an American is talking. He wants everyone to salute his jacket but his opponent cuts him off.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. William Regal

Regal, in regular gear this week, is challenging and promises to show JBL what British people think of Americans. The beating is on in a hurry with Regal choking JBL with the jacket and firing off some shots to the face. The fans are all behind Regal and an uppercut puts JBL on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Regal kneeing away but getting punched in the face to cut things off. Regal is bleeding from the ear so JBL goes after it, followed by a sleeper. A belly to back gets Regal out of trouble but JBL kicks him in the face. JBL’s swinging neckbreaker and DDT combine for two but Regal is back with an exploder suplex for a heck of a reaction. Regal grabs the Regal Stretch but JBL gets two fingers on the rope. JBL goes more villain with a thumb to the eye and the Clothesline From JBL retains the title.

Rating: C+. This was a nice match as they didn’t bother with anything tricky and just had two guys hit each other for ten minutes. Regal fighting for his country and getting the huge face pops made for some weird visuals (not in a bad way) and it wouldn’t have been completely insane to see a fluke title change. You could tell Regal was fired up here and it helped a lot.

JBL’s goofy grin while he hugs the title makes it that much better.

Booker T. and Sharmell are ready for Booker’s match with Kurt Angle in the King of the Ring but he doesn’t like being asked about Angle vs. Mysterio. Gunner Scott comes in to remind Booker of the upset win a few weeks ago. Booker agrees to face Scott again….but not tonight because Booker has a chest cold and a sinus infection. He’ll find Scott an opponent who can sop him up like a biscuit.

Kurt Angle’s Winner’s Circle: Kurt beats Rock to win his first WWF Title at No Mercy 2000.

Video on Tatanka’s path to become the new warrior of his Native American tribe. I can appreciate trying to make something out of someone, but Tatanka in 2006 wasn’t going to be the answer, especially with something like this.

MNM/Gregory Helms vs. Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Super Crazy

It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside for the big triple dive. Kendrick gets shoved off the top back inside though and Mercury takes over with some quick near falls. A backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gets two and Nitro adds his breakdancing legdrop for the same. Helms grabs the quickly broken abdominal stretch and Kendrick gets over for the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and London rolls Helms up for the pin. Melina is stunned, though that might be due to Tony Chimmel using the high pitched SUPER for Super Crazy.

Rating: C. They got a lot of stuff into a sub four minute match and that’s perfectly fine. I’m not sure if Crazy is supposed to be the next challenger for Helms or if he was just someone put out there to fill in a spot, but this was all about MNM vs. London and Kendrick anyway. They kept this short and got to the point, which is all they needed to do.

Kurt Angle’s Winner’s Circle: Angle beats Austin at Unforgiven 2001.

Melina yells at MNM for losing and insults Jillian Hall for getting fired last week. She offers Hall a job doing her makeup and throws said makeup on her. The catfight is on with makeup being used in various ways.

Bobby Lashley wants to be King of the Ring because of what it has meant for everyone else. He really doesn’t need to be talking.

Kurt Angle’s Winner’s Circle: Kurt beats Big Show at Armageddon 2004.

King of the Ring First Round: Mark Henry vs. Bobby Lashley

Henry shoves him around a few times to start and Lashley isn’t sure about this one. A headbutt puts Lashley down again and there’s a hard whip into the corner. Henry cuts off the comeback with a rather hard clothesline, with Cole telling us to go outside and run into our house to see what that feels like. Hopefully no one with a house boat follows that advice.

A backbreaker plants Lashley again but Henry misses a charge allowing the comeback to start. Lashley hits the clotheslines and the impressive slam but Henry powers out of the Dominator. Henry misses a charge and gets low bridged over the ropes to the floor, giving Lashley the countout win.

Rating: C-. That’s about as smart of a way to do this as they could have had, even if it looked like Henry slipped on a banana peel to end things. Henry is still a monster who shouldn’t be losing very often, so aside from not having him in the tournament, the only way to go was a countout or DQ. Lashley was thrown around a bit, but that slam felt like a pretty impressive moment.

Post match Henry beats Lashley up some more, including a splash against the post to bang up his ribs.

Rey Mysterio is asked about always being seen as an underdog. Tonight he is the underdog again but he knows he has to stay away from the ankle lock. He’ll give it his best but if he loses, it was well worth it. This has been the latest moment of WWE making sure you know Rey is in way over his head.

Kurt Angle’s Winner’s Circle: Kurt beats Brock Lesnar and the Big Show to win the title at Vengeance 2003.

Booker T., complete with chest cold, is here with Sharmell to announce Gunner Scott’s opponent. After using some medicine, here we go.

Finlay vs. Gunner Scott

Booker and Sharmell sit in on commentary. Finlay headlocks him down to start and pulls on the arms with his boot on Gunner’s head. Back up and Gunner hits a dropkick tot he floor but the baseball slide gets caught in the ring skirt so the beating can be on. Scott fights back and hits an elbow to the face, followed by a belly to belly for two. They fight outside where Booker gets in a cheap shot, allowing Finlay to hit the Air Raid Crash for the pin.

Rating: D+. Scott feels like their latest attempt to make someone out of nothing and it’s too early to know if that is going to be a success. Booker having another injury/condition to keep him out of the ring is a bit of a stretch after he was just injured for so long, but his talking is making up for it. On top of that, it’s nice to see Finlay being featured again as he’s doing well in his role as the tough villain.

Post match the beatdown is on until Chris Benoit runs in for the save.

Here are Great Khali and Daivari for a chat. Daivari says that is it true: Great Khali has dominated the Undertaker and destroyed his spirit. Undertaker is afraid of Khali, who yells a lot to emphasize his point. Krystal runs away to wrap things up.

Kurt Angle’s Winner’s Circle: Kurt wins a battle royal to become champion again.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending and commentary makes it clear that he is the underdog. Again. Angle drops to a knee as Rey circles him, meaning it’s an early takedown to put the champ down. An uppercut cuts Rey down again but he’s back up with right hands in the corner. That just earns Rey a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a regular version gets two. Rey charges into a belly to belly to the floor and we take an early break.

Back with Rey caught in a chinlock with a bodyscissors. That’s broken up so Rey has to escape the Angle Slam and kick Angle in the head for a double knockdown. The 619 is blocked so Rey is right back with a sitout bulldog for two, allowing Cole to call Rey the underdog again. Another Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for two more but Angle runs the corner for a superplex.

Back up and Angle misses a charge hard into the post and falls out to the floor. That means Rey can hit a top rope Fameasser on the way back in for another near fall, but Angle flips him over with a release German suplex. The Angle Slam is countered for a third time and the 619 connects this time. Angle counters the West Coast Pop into the ankle lock but here’s Mark Henry to jump Angle for the DQ.

Rating: B-. They were having a good match and I can live with the DQ ending, but man alive this “Rey is such an underdog” is getting old in a hurry. What makes it even worse is that it comes after the last three months being about Eddie Guerrero, making Rey feel like a high school student who is in over his head in a bad 90s action comedy. Rey is an underdog, but there’s a difference between someone Barry Horowitz’s 1995 winning streak and one of the best cruiserweights of all time. As usual, WWE needs to lighten up on beating us over the head and I don’t think they’ll get that.

Post match Henry crushes Angle against the post and puts him on a table. The running splash from the apron destroys Kurt to end the show as Rey, again, is forgotten.

Overall Rating: C. As usual, the British shows are always a little off but there was only so much they could do without having anything to build towards at the moment. The next pay per view will start to come into focus soon and Angle vs. Mysterio did feel big, but they didn’t help themselves with making Rey seem like a loser who has gotten lucky. The show did go by very quickly though and nothing was bad, so it was hardly a difficult sit. Just get them something to focus on and we can move on to something a little better.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 21, 2006
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 16,108
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

The King of the Ring is still rolling after last week’s opener, meaning we could be in for some good stuff going forward. Smackdown seems to be throwing out a bunch of more gimmicky stuff at the moment and I’m curious to see what else they have. There is something fun about seeing these characters that you might remember from years gone by making their debuts and we should be in for some bigger names and moments. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Booker T. and Sharmell are ready to win the tournament and Matt Hardy is up first.

Matt Hardy talks about everything he has gone through this year and will not die.

King of the Ring First Round: Booker T. vs. Matt Hardy

Sharmell is here with Booker. Feeling out process to start with Booker elbowing his way out of a hammerlock. Hardy is back with a running clothesline for two and we hit the headlock on the mat. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex and some knees to the ribs have Matt in trouble as they seem to have a long time to use here. Matt is back with a swinging neckbreaker but the moonsault press misses.

We hit the chinlock but Matt is out in a hurry with the middle rope elbow to the back of the head. The comeback is cut off by Sharmell low bridging Hardy to the floor as we take a break. Back with Booker snapping off some suplexes for two but he takes too long going up and gets superplexed back down.

Matt still can’t get anything going as Booker kicks him down and grabs the chinlock again. Another comeback includes elbows and clotheslines for two but Booker kicks him in the face for two more. The Book End lets Booker hit the Spinarooni but the ax kick misses. Matt grabs the Side Effect for two but Sharmell offers a distraction so Booker can hit a low blow. Now the ax kick can finish Matt.

Rating: B-. This was better than I would have expected as they were hitting some big stuff and the fans were into what they were doing. It says a lot when I was a little surprised at some kickouts when I already knew who was winning here. Good match and one of Matt’s best in a long time now.

Post match Booker puts on the crown and does a Karate Kid pose.

In honor of JBL’s Championship Celebration tonight, here’s a look at JBL beating Eddie Guerrero for the World Title.

William Regal is in drag again and Paul Burchill thinks it’s hilarious. Tonight, they’re in a tag match but Regal doesn’t know about this because his chest is a bit too big. Burchill has a teddy bear costume for him but that’s too much for Regal. The shenanigans continue.

Joey Mercury vs. Paul London

Johnny Nitro, Melina and Brian Kendrick are here too. London hurricanranas him down to start and hammers away but a Nitro distraction lets Mercury shove him off the top. Back in and we hit the choking on the ropes. The waistlock goes on, followed by a northern lights suplex for two on London. Kendrick and Melina get up on the apron with Kendrick being knocked down, allowing Nitro to get in a slingshot elbow/backbreaker combination.

That’s only good for four straight near falls but London jawbreaks his way out of a sleeper. A spinwheel kick to the face gives London two and a high crossbody is good for the same. London grabs a reverse hurricanrana for two more but has to take out Nitro. Kendrick comes in but…gets taken down by a single leg. That seemed like missed timing, as Kendrick is then catapulted over the top and down onto London. Back in and London grabs a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world as it was fairly obvious where they were going the second last week’s match was announced. It’s an idea that WWE has used for years and while it works well enough, it isn’t exactly something that is going to draw in my interest.

Regal is now a bear, with Burchill adding a head, including lipstick. And yes it has a tail.

Last week, Kurt Angle snapped Randy Orton’s ankle. That’s how you write Orton off for a suspension due to “unprofessional conduct”.

Chris Benoit/Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay/Orlando Jordan

Lashley and Jordan start things off with Lashley driving him into the corner without much effort. Benoit comes in and tries the Crossface, sending Jordan scampering away. A Finlay distraction lets Jordan take him down by the arm. It’s off to Finlay to crank on said arm, plus drive some elbows down for a bonus.

Benoit’s arm goes into the post and it’s back to Jordan to pound on the arm some more. Benoit finally suplexes his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Lashley to start cleaning house. The delayed vertical suplex gets two on Jordan and Benoit dives onto Finlay. There’s the spear to Jordan and the Dominator is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse but there is one important detail here: it is the last time Orlando Jordan is going to be wrestling on Smackdown. I have no idea how in the world WWE thought he was going to be some star and thank goodness I’m glad that he is gone for good. He just isn’t that talented as a wrestler so maybe he can be….a guy who makes canned peaches.

Another Great JBL Moment: he throws immigrants across the border.

This Week In WWF History: Steve Austin crushed The Rock’s Lincoln. This was on Raw too.

Teddy Long makes Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio for the World Title next week.

Now Regal is in a chicken costume, with Burchill telling him not to get cocky. There is no tail on this one, but the hole is revealing….uh, yeah.

Funaki isn’t worried about Great Khali, who comes in to shout.

Funaki vs. Great Khali

Chop to the head, big boot and double arm chokeslam in less than a minute.

Now Regal is a gorilla, but Burchill has one more idea and we’ll see it in their match.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Gymini

Simon Dean is here with the Gymini and Regal is….kind of rather British, but has feathers in his hat (which is over a curly black wig). Burchill and Jesse start things off with Burchill hammering away. Jesse gets in a shot of his own though and it’s off to Regal, who gets suplexed out of his wig. The chinlock goes on but Regal fights up and goes for the tag, only to have Burchill walk away. The Cross Trainer (double Regal Cutter) finishes Regal.

Another Great JBL Moment: beating Chris Benoit at Wrestlemania.

Miz tries to get in for the celebration but Palmer Cannon isn’t having that.

Raw Rebound.

We look back at Jillian Hall almost costing JBL the US Title last week.

It’s time for JBL’s Championship Celebration, hosted by Jillian Hall (who walks past the big inflated eagle). She leads out a marching band and here’s JBL in a (horned) Hummer limo as the balloons drop. JBL isn’t pleased though and yells that he is worthy of the New York Philharmonic and Jillian brought him a bunch of refugees from a Big Brother program. JBL: “Never trust a woman to think!” He makes fun of her over inflated balloons and fires her, telling Jillian to go lap dance her heart away.

JBL lists off some great Americans and declares himself an American hero. After all, he’s the real champion over Rey Mysterio. Now he wants the winner of Mysterio vs. Angle next week, so here’s Angle to interrupt. Angle lists off his own American Hero credentials but JBL doesn’t think so. Angle: “Well compared to me, you suck.”

JBL was never as good of a champion as Rey, who finally comes out to interrupt. The fans chant for Eddie and because JBL is a good heel, he points out that Rey can’t even get his own chant. JBL has already taken titles from Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit, so Rey can be the third amigo. One short/Spanish joke too many earns JBL a beating and Rey and Angle stare each other down to end the show. JBL is still a heck of a heel, but he’s right in pointing out how little fans seem to care about Rey himself. It doesn’t help that Rey feels like he’s in way over his head as champion too.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a weird one as the ending was a big celebration which only set up a title match between two people who have nothing to do with JBL at the moment. The rest of the show was your usual fare and they did a nice job of making Angle vs. Mysterio feel like an important match. It’s not exactly must see stuff, though they still have a few weeks to set things up before we get to the next pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 14, 2006
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s tournament time as we have the first match in the King of the Ring. That could mean a few different things going forward, but this time around it means Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton in a first round match. Then there is some new giant around to go after Undertaker so it’s kind of like old days. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Booker T. and Sharmell for a chat with a robe and throne in the ring. They like the way the stuff looks but Booker is much more excited about his restraining order against the Boogeyman. That has made Smackdown a Boogeyman Free Zone, but last week Booker lost to Gunner Something, which will never happen again. He is going to prove his greatness in the King of the Ring tournament, because this has made a lot of great careers.

Booker lists off everyone else in the tournament and none of them are as great as he is. He would like everyone to rise up and bow down to their next king. With that out of the way, Booker has to try on the robe and starts knighting the robe, allowing Sharmell to debut ALL HAIL KING BOOKER! Cue Bobby Lashley to spear Booker down, with Booker’s legs staying in the air long after Lashley leaves for a good visual.

Johnny Nitro vs. Brian Kendrick

Melina, Joey Mercury and Paul London are all at ringside. Kendrick starts fast with the forearms but gets sent throat first into the middle rope. The chinlock is on early but Nitro misses a charge into the corner. Kendrick’s spinning facebuster sets up another shot to the face but Mercury shoves Kendrick off the top. London dives onto Mercury and Melina gets knocked down, leaving Kendrick to victory roll Nitro for the pin.

Rating: C-. They did what they could in the time that they had but you can’t get too far in just over three minutes. The interference looks to set up the Tag Team Title match later on and that works out well enough, though I’m not exactly thrilled with the idea of sitting through the partners facing each other next week and then probably a six person tag down the line.

We recap Paul Burchill beating William Regal last week, meaning it’s buxom wench time.

Burchill sees Regal (off camera) and Regal isn’t happy because the shoes hurt and the knickers are out of his selection box.

This Week In Wrestling History: Barely Legal, focusing on Tazz vs. Sabu. The recap given by the voiceover is more details than I remember Joey Styles telling us on the show.

Paul Burchill vs. Rasheed Brown

Before the match, Burchill introduces Lady Regal, who falls off the rope swing and can’t stand up in the dress (which he has to wear until Burchill loses a match). Regal finally gets to his feet and comes to the ring, where Burchill pulls out a sword to poke him in the skirt. The rather large Brown shoves Burchill into the corner to start but gets taken down with a quick shot to the back. Regal gets on the apron with brass knuckles to nail Burchill but hits Brown by mistake, setting up Walking The Plank to give Burchill the easy pin.

Post match Burchill and Regal leave, arm in arm.

Kurt Angle congratulates Rey Mysterio on winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania and blames Randy Orton for the title loss. Tonight, Angle is going to take out all of his frustrations on Orton.

We look at Bret Hart winning the first King of the Ring.

Matt Hardy vs. Road Warrior Animal

Fallout from Animal jumping Matt on Velocity last week. The brawl starts on the floor before the bell with Animal being driven into the apron. They try to bring in a chair and the bell actually rings, with Matt hitting the Twist of Fate for the pin in about twenty seconds. And so much for that, thank goodness.

We look back at Rey Mysterio winning the Royal Rumble and then the title at Wrestlemania. How many times are we looking back at all of this stuff???

Palmer Cannon says that the following video is not endorsed by WWE.

Video of Miz wrecking havoc at WWE Headquarters. Didn’t we see this last week?

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is defending in a match that was supposed to be a celebration. Before the match, cue Teddy Long to say we’re having a change. The title is going to be on the line in a steel cage, which just happens to be above the ring and no one seemed to notice it yet, aside from all of the times that it was shown earlier in the night. JBL begs the referee to not make this happen so Benoit hammers away to start, sending JBL from one corner to another.

An early JBL escape attempt doesn’t work as Benoit pulls him back down and onto the mat. JBL is back up with a belly to back superplex but Benoit chops him down without much trouble. It’s too early for the Sharpshooter as JBL kicks him away and drops some elbows. Benoit is back up with some knees and chops in the corner before catching JBL on top again.

They both come crashing back down though and it’s time for a quick breather. It’s JBL up first with Two Amigos but Benoit pulls him into another failed Sharpshooter attempt. The Crossface doesn’t work either so Benoit hits the full Three Amigos. The Swan Dive connects for no cover as Benoit would rather go up than cover or walk out the door. JBL is back up with a super Russian legsweep and we take a break.

Back with Benoit climbing the cage again and getting electric chaired back down for two. A sleeper has Benoit in more trouble but the arm stays up the third time. Another suplex drops JBL and it’s time to roll the German suplexes. Benoit can only get two though and JBL boots him in the face. JBL goes for the door but the confused Jillian accidentally slams it on Benoit’s head. The Crossface goes but there is no referee to see the tap. Instead JBL rolls him over for two before kicking Benoit low, which is enough to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This was rolling until the messier than necessary ending. The Jillian stuff didn’t need to be there and seemed to be more of an idea for the sake of having one. JBL shouldn’t be dropping the title yet anyway, and especially not to Benoit after a long reign. The match was good, but having it in a cage didn’t add much of a note.

We look at Great Khali debuting and destroying Undertaker last week.

Here are Daivari and Great Khali for a chat. Daivari talks about how we have heard about Undertaker being a phenom for a long time now, but Khali is a real monster. We will all fear and worship him because Undertaker is gone.

Gymini vs. Mexicools

Jesse cleans house on the Mexicools early on and the old Harris Brothers H Bomb should finish Psicosis off early. The delayed cover only gets two though as Super Crazy has the referee. Crazy comes in to clean house but some twin magic lets Jesse hit a high collar suplex for the pin.

King of the Ring First Round: Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Orton hides in the rope to start but Angle is patient enough to hit some clotheslines. A trip to the floor doesn’t last long as Orton is thrown inside for the ankle lock. That is broken up as well but Orton catches him with some shots on the way back in. Choking on the rope ensues and we’re already in the chinlock (I’ll let you figure out who is doing what).

Angle fights up and gets to the apron, where he manages to suplex Orton over the top and out to the floor in a nasty crash. That’s good for a nine count so Angle hits the German suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered into the backbreaker to give Orton two, meaning it’s the ankle lock to make Orton tap.

Rating: C+. The time hurt them again here but Angle getting a win back is the best thing for him. He doesn’t need to win the tournament, but he needs to show that he can still dominate at this level. That’s where this win came from and the extra part about Orton being the one who took the fall to lose Angle’s title makes it better.

Post match Angle puts the ankle lock on again, lets go and leaves, then comes back to do it again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They kept things moving tonight and I can always appreciate that. There was a lot of stuff crammed into the two hour show and it started to set the stage for the next pay per view in May. I liked the show rather well and nothing was bad, though the cage match ending left a bit to be desired. Good enough effort this week.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: April 7, 2006
Location: Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the fallout show for Wrestlemania and that could make for an interesting night. Raw was pretty good this week and I’m wondering if they are going to follow the same path. There are a few ways to go with this one and Smackdown could use a boost after some fairly weak Wrestlemania build. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. MNM

Non-title and here are London and Kendrick to pick Melina up during the splits entrance for a little change of pace. Nitro gets elbowed in the face to start and Mercury is knocked off the apron. A headscissors into a dropkick gets two on Nitro but Kendrick is sent outside in a big crash. Back in and Nitro stomps away as the champs take over for the first time. Kendrick is sent crashing outside again and this time Melina rakes the eyes because she’s rather good at being evil.

Back in again and the breakdancing legdrop hits Kendrick but he manages a small package for a very delayed two. Nitro chokes on the rope and Melina gets in some choking, followed by Mercury coming in for four straight near falls. The fans want London and get him as he comes in to break up a cover, though I don’t think that’s what they meant. Back up and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London, but the referee didn’t see it for the old classic.

The double stomping is on but Kendrick rolls between them and makes the hot tag to London. House is cleaned and the Dropsault gets two on Mercury. Melina gets up on the apron to knock London into a rollup for two but Kendrick breaks up the Snapshot. London gets a VERY close two off a sunset flip but Nitro breaks up the 450. The Snapshot is broken up again though and London grabs a cradle for the pin.

Rating: B-. Dang this could have been a heck of a title change but the big deal here is finally having a fresh team to come after the titles. Well a fresh team that people might actually like that is. By this point, MNM’s title reign means nothing whatsoever but it could be a nice moment when they finally drop the things, despite what all the losses have done to them.

A very excited Booker T. and Sharmell come in to see Teddy Long. Teddy doesn’t get it and reminds them what happened at Wrestlemania. The difference though is Booker now has a restraining order against Boogeyman and if he comes within 100ft….Long goes to jail?

We look at Rey Mysterio winning the Royal Rumble.

Booker T. vs. Gunner Scott

Scott, better known as Brent Albright, is debuting. Booker hammers on him a bit to start but gets taken down with a drop toehold, much to his surprise. Some knees to the ribs set up a chinlock on Scott, which is broken up in a hurry. Booker kicks him in the face and there’s a spinebuster….followed by the Boogeyman’s music. Scott uses the distraction to grab a rollup pin.

Post match here’s Teddy Long to say that must have been a miscue. He raises Scott’s hand to rub it in.

We look at Randy Orton beating Rey Mysterio at No Way Out, plus Mysterio being added back into the Wrestlemania main event anyway.

Scott is very pleased with his win and Chris Benoit comes up to congratulate him.

Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean

Benoit’s music hits while Dean is still on his scooter and panic sets in quickly. They go inside to start the proper beating and it’s a belly to back suplex into a hard elbow. Dean gets him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs and a bulldog but the fans are all over him. The chinlock is broken up in a hurry and Benoit rolls the German suplexes into the Crossface for the tap.

Rating: D+. It was short and to the point, which was nice as it’s fun to see Dean get beaten up. This was a fine little way to get Benoit back on his feet after the loss on Sunday, which is where you can use someone like Dean rather effectively. Benoit is someone you can heat up in a hurry and they did it here in the same way they always did: with a nasty beating and a good looking Crossface.

Post match we get a video invitation to join JBL for his huge US Title celebration next week.

We look at Mysterio winning the title on Sunday.

Kurt Angle growls a lot and slaps Randy Orton in the face.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is defending. They stare at each other for a good bit to start and the EDDIE chants are on again. Rey gets back into the corner but comes out with a headlock, which is reversed into a headscissors on the mat. That’s broken up as well but Orton is back up with a forearm to the back. An uppercut from his knees gives Orton two and we’re already in the chinlock. Rey fights up and the wheelbarrow bulldog is quickly countered with a faceplant so the chinlock can go on again.

A headscissors gets Rey out of trouble and sends Orton outside, meaning it’s the big springboard seated senton to the floor. Orton gets pummeled in the corner but knocks Rey right back down and grabs another chinlock. Rey fights up again and gets to the apron but the springboard is countered with a dropkick to the floor (that looked good). We take a break and come back with Rey in probably the sixth chinlock so far. A faceplant out of the corner plants Rey for two more and we’re in another chinlock.

That’s broken up in a hurry and Orton does the dive onto a raised book which was only designed to dive into a raised boot. Rey hits the springboard seated senton and a springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT gets two. Rey goes up but gets dropkicked out of the air for two more. One heck of a clothesline drops Rey again but Orton’s charge hits the post. Rey mixes it up a bit with a 619 in the corner, setting up the regular version. Dropping The Dime retains the title.

Rating: C+. This got a lot better once Orton dropped the chinlocks. He probably used eight or nine during the match, which is more than a lot of people are going to use in a month. There was no reason to believe that the title was changing here and Mysterio pinning Orton clean is far from a stretch. Cut out five (or more) of those chinlocks and thisi s a much better match but what we got worked well.

Palmer Cannon says the following views are not those of WWE.

Miz torments WWE headquarters.

Mysterio thanks everyone who believed in him from day one and dreams do come true. He is ready to defend against everyone but for now he wants to thank his family, who are here with him.

William Regal comes up to Paul Burchill and complains about the pirate garb. They have a match next and we get a bet with the winner getting to chose how the winner dresses. Burchill thinks Regal will make a lovely buxom wench.

Paul Burchill vs. William Regal

Regal goes to the eyes to start but loses a slugout. They uppercut it out until Regal throws him down with a half nelson suplex. We hit the chinlock (Orton fan) but Burchill suplexes his way to freedom and the C4 finishes Regal.

Rating: D+. This didn’t get much time but Regal continues to be able to make something out of nothing. He was fighting as he usually would for the sake of turning Burchill back into a normal looking human. That isn’t something that should warrant something so serious but Regal made it work, which is quite impressive.

Wrestlemania XXIII is in Detroit.

Teddy Long announces the return of the King of the Ring. The first match: Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Before the match, Henry says he will never be the same after Wrestlemania because he shouldn’t be locked in a casket. When he was in the box, he had a vision of Undertaker’s future, which brings us here. Henry jumps him to start but Undertaker sends him into the corner. Cole says a headbutt from Henry is like a typewriter to the head, because people know what it is like to have a typewriter to the head. A big shove puts Undertaker down again but he’s back up with a big boot to the floor. There’s the apron legdrop…and here are Daivari and the debuting Great Khali. Undertaker goes after him and we’ll say that’s the match.

Post match Undertaker hits Khali in the face a few times but Khali (not named) chops him down. Some headbutts rock Undertaker and Khali rips a turnbuckle pad off (giving us some stuffing to make me think about George Steele) to ram Undertaker in. The big posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This would have been in between a C and C+ if that was possible as the show was just slightly more hit than miss. Khali debuting felt like an important moment and it means that we don’t have to see Undertaker vs. Henry again. Other than that, Rey vs. Orton was fine enough and they set things up for the future, including the King of the Ring being set up. Not a bad show, but it was only so good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 31, 2006
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that’s probably the best thing that can happen to Smackdown at the moment. The blue matches are already set and have been for a good while. That has left us with some rather weak shows on the way to Chicago but tonight is the last stop. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton causing issues before Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle.

Here is Mysterio to open things up. He wastes no time this week and calls out Orton right now but here’s Angle instead. Angle wants Orton tonight so he can beat him here and then do it again at Wrestlemania. No one beats him, including Rey on Sunday. Cue Orton to call both of them ladies, sending Rey and Angle into an argument over who gets to face Orton tonight. Orton suggests a handicap match and then changes his mind because he isn’t wrestling tonight. He’ll see you in Chicago but here’s Teddy Long to interrupt.

Teddy likes the idea of a handicap match but Orton says Teddy is giving Rey another favor like he did when he put Rey in the main event of Wrestlemania. Angle seems to agree so Rey thinks Angle doesn’t respect him. Orton cuts them off and suggests Rey vs. Angle tonight so Rey can prove himself. They’re both down and Teddy makes the match. As for now, security is going to escort Orton out.

A ranting Orton left during the break.

Chris Benoit vs. Road Warrior Animal

Non-title. Before the match, Animal rants about how he is a legend but doesn’t have a spot at Wrestlemania. Benoit gets shoved around to start but Benoit takes him to the floor without much trouble. Back in and Benoit rolls the German suplexes so Animal tries the brass knuckles. Benoit doesn’t mind and snaps on the Crossface for the easy tap.

Benoit goes to the back where an applauding JBL and Jillian Hall are waiting for him. JBL talks about taking the World Title from another technical wrestler in Eddie Guerrero so he knows he can do it to Benoit as well. Benoit is glad JBL’s hand is healed because he’ll need it to tap out.

This Week In Wrestling History: Wrestlemania II with the battle royal, where William Perry and Big John Studd eliminated each other.

Perry is going into the Hall of Fame this year.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Daniel Cross

JBL has Daniel Cross with him and Cross is having his fifth career match. His fifth career loss comes after less than a minute and a pair of Clotheslines From JBL.

Hall of Fame rundown.

Miz is still coming, but first he needs to invade Titan Towers.

Booker T. vs. Paul Burchill

Sharmell is here too and they both look scared of the Boogeyman. Booker knocks him around to start but Burchill hits a quick crossbody….and it’s Boogeyman time. Sharmell freaks out and tries to leave but they’re scared of Boogeyman’s smoke. There is no Boogeyman so Booker checks underneath the ring, with Boogeyman coming out the other side and kidnapping Sharmell. Booker gets counted out somewhere in there as the angle disguised as a match wraps up.

Post break, Booker can’t find Sharmell. Just follow the screaming.

Bobby Lashley/Tatanka/Matt Hardy vs. MNM/Finlay

Hardy and Mercury start things off and it’s quickly off to Lashley to beat up MNM (again). A Finlay distraction cuts Lashley off but he shrugs them off all over again. Tatanka comes in for a dropkick to Nitro and a legdrop gets two. Finlay comes in and hammers on Tatanka so it’s off to Mercury, who gets punched in the face. Good grief MNM are presented as such helpless losers. Tatanka suplexes both champs down and hands it off to Matt to clean house. Everything breaks down and Lashley gets to clean house, leaving Matt to hit the Twist of Fate to finish Mercury.

Rating: D+. Sweet goodness MNM can’t buy some good luck at this point. Was anyone looking for a rehash of Hardy/Tatanka vs. MNM? Matt getting a win is fine, but was there no one else for him to beat? Nothing to see here, but at least Lashley got to clean some house. Just stop making it the champs’ house.

Here’s Mark Henry in a suit for a funeral for Undertaker. With a choir singing over the speakers, Henry goes over the victims of the Streak, giving us a rather rare Giant Gonzalez reference. The future is in Henry though brothers and sisters, amen. He is the man who took out Batista and he will end the Streak. This didn’t need the funeral theme but lining up the names was a nice idea.

Mexicools vs. Jamie Noble/Kid Kash

Jamie goes nuclear by messing with the lawnmower on the way to the ring, meaning the fight is on in a hurry. Kash takes Psicosis into the corner to start and Noble comes in to run him down with an elbow to the face. Super Crazy gets knocked off the apron so Noble can choke away behind the referee’s back. The camel clutch goes on with Noble pulling at the face before Psicosis dropkicks him out of the air. The hot tag brings in Crazy and house is cleaned with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Kash. Noble hits a neckbreaker and Kash goes up top but Crazy super Spanish Flys him down for the pin.

Rating: C. This was one of those matches you usually only see right before a major pay per view, with the cruiserweights getting to go in there and getting to do their stuff for a few minutes. The good thing is that these people are talented enough to make it work because they can do this kind of stuff in their sleep. Perfectly fine match and a completely acceptable use of TV time.

Booker looks for Sharmell by following a trail of worms.

Post break, Booker follows Sharmell’s screams (and the worms) and finds….Sharmell on a box and screaming a lot because she’s scared of the worms. Boogeyman is far down the hall and laughs a lot. Please get to the end of this already.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Angle drives him into the corner to start and then takes him down by the arm. The headlock on the mat keeps Rey in trouble but he gets in a drop toehold into the ropes. Angle gets away from the 619 attempt though and things reset. A headscissors into the corner and another one to the floor have Angle in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Angle sending him hard into the corner to band up the ribs and we hit the waistlock. The bodyscissors goes on but Rey fights up, only to get snapped over in an overhead belly to belly for two. The reverse chinlock with a knee in Rey’s back goes on but Rey fights up again and hits a sitout bulldog. A basement dropkick gets two and a springboard seated senton gets the same. Rey misses a charge into the corner though and it’s a release German suplex to send him flying. There go the straps but the ankle lock is countered into a 619, which is countered into an ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. You have to give the fans some kind of an important match on the show and putting two of the best ever out there is a good way to go. They had a fair amount of rest holds and stuff where they could lay around here and that’s not a bad thing. The good side here is the fact that Angle and Mysterio are still very great, even when they’re not at full gear. Nice main event and easily the best thing on the show.

Post match here’s Orton for the RKO to Rey as Angle looks on. Orton says Angle is getting the same thing on Sunday so Angle charges back in. The RKO is countered into an Angle Slam and the ankle lock to make Orton tap to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show is always a weird one as you can only get so much out of a Smackdown where they are trying to get to Wrestlemania safely. The main event is good as you would expect, but the rest is a bunch of quick appearances from people who are going to be at Wrestlemania. It isn’t much to see, but that is hardly a surprise this time around.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6