Bound For Glory 2017: That’s So TNA
Bound For Glory 2017
Date: November 5, 2017
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews
It’s finally time to have something fresh for this company as we’ve spent over two months on taped TV setting up this show. The real main event is Moose/Stephan Bonnar vs. Lashley/King Mo in a wrestling vs. MMA cage match, which has been pushed far harder than the World Title match. Let’s get to it.
Alberto El Patron arrived earlier today.
Opening sequence, looking at the big main events, as you might expect.
The ring ropes are red and white for CANADA!
X-Division Title: Sonjay Dutt vs. Trevor Lee vs. Garza Jr. vs. Petey Williams vs. Matt Sydal vs. Dezmond Xavier
Lee is defending and there are tags this time around. Dutt and Sydal hit the mat to start and speed things up in a hurry, but the fans are more interested in Petey. Well of course they are. Xavier comes in to kick Sydal down, only to get tripped up and hit with a standing shooting star for two.
They fall outside and it’s Garza and Petey coming in, meaning this is lucha rules. Ok then. Lee comes in and grabs Garza’s bad arm, only to stop so GARZA CAN TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! Garza puts Lee in the Tree of Woe and we hit the O CANADA for the pop of the night. It’s Tower of Doom time though with Lee being the only one to not get slammed down. We hit the dives, leaving Lee to suplex Dutt into a powerbomb for a big heap.
Dutt gets stomped down and things slow down a lot. Lee poses a lot and hammers on Dutt in a non-Canadian way. The fans want Petey (well duh) and Dutt finally avoids a charge to give them what they want. A Russian legsweep and a Downward Spiral drop Lee and it’s off to Sydal, who sends Petey into the ropes. Williams adds a slingshot hurricanrana on Lee. Everything breaks down and it’s Xavier coming in with all of his corkscrewy goodness.
The Final Flash gets two on Lee with Dutt making the save. Dutt’s tornado DDT gets two on Xavier but Sydal runs everyone over. Garza is back in with a headbutt on Sydal, followed by a posing choke. Petey comes in and grabs a Sharpshooter on Sydal because it’s Canada and there are certain things you have to do. Sydal has to bail out of the shooting star and it’s a Canadian Destroyer to plant Xavier. Lee sneaks back in and tosses Petey though, allowing him to steal the pin and retain at 12:40.
Rating: C. Well you have to make sure you keep that AMAZING Trevor Lee reign going you see. The title has completely died and a lot of that is due to the lack of interesting characters or personal issues. It’s just “here are three faces, here are three heels, they’re doing flippy stuff”. I need more than that, but we don’t have time for that because we need videos on MMA titles being stolen. It’s not like they could spend time building up Xavier and/or Sydal, both of whom have crashed HARD into a wall in recent months. Good choice for an opener, but the crowd died when Petey didn’t win.
Tyson Dux vs. Taiji Ishimori
Oh that’s how they’ll fill in time: random matches with this eternally present international talent. Dux was in Team Canada like thirteen years ago, end of his noteworthy accomplishments in America. Ishimori sends him outside to start and it’s an early standoff. Back in and Tyson gets two off a delayed belly to back suplex. The mess that is Laurel Van Ness wanders into the crowd as we hit a chinlock on Ishimori. That goes nowhere as Ishimori fights up and hits a slingshot double stomp for two of his own. A guillotine choke knocks Dux silly and it’s a 450 to give Ishimori the pin at 4:47.
Rating: C-. This was the latest instance of two guys who I neither know nor care about having a match I didn’t want to watch. At least it wasn’t long though and in this case they needed to do something to fill in some time with Rosemary vs. Taya being gone. I was actually looking forward to that match though, making this quite the disappointment.
Grado can’t talk his way out of his match with Abyss later.
Here’s the returning Alberto for his big speech. He talks about working as hard as he did in this promotion and being told how awesome he was. Then something happened and they suspended him because they don’t have any cajones and believed all the lies. The reports will tell you that he didn’t do anything but they suspended him anyway. They even stopped paying him! Well they have been having payroll issues as of late you see.
All this company did was listen to reports on the internet and ruined his career. His kids were disappointed in their dad and it was all over lies that never happened. No one got in touch with him while he was gone and that’s what’s wrong with everything. The people are what’s wrong around here and he’s about to do something tonight.
Alberto turns his focus to JB and, of course, calls him a perro. He goes up to JB, who never texted him or called him once. JB apologizes and we get a very slow handshake but Alberto is here to make a statement. Eh or not because tonight is going to be amazing. Alberto walks away without doing anything to JB.
We recap Grado vs. Abyss. Grado is trying to stay in the country and signed up with Abyss’ brother Joseph Park as his agent, only to have Park rip him off and steal his money. Grado wants out of the deal and we’re having a match for his freedom, only it’s Monster’s Ball against Abyss instead of Park.
Grado vs. Abyss
Monster’s Ball, meaning hardcore. Before the match, Grado tries to talk his way out of the match and Abyss tells him do dance. Grado does just that, only to jump the monster to get things going. It’s already weapons time with Grado throwing in some chairs, only to have Abyss knock a cheese grater out of his hands. Instead it’s a staple gun to the head and the violence begins.
The barbed wire boards are brought in but Grado saves himself, only to have the tacks poured onto the mat. A cheese grater between the legs slows Abyss down though and some trashcan shots give Grado a breather. He takes too much time going up though and gets shoved through the barbed wire for the big crash. It’s Janice time (Josh: “How did he get this into Canada?”) but Grado gets out of trouble with the dancing punches. You know, in a hardcore match.
And now, let’s cut to Van Ness again. You know, IN A HARDCORE MATCH! Grado escapes a chokeslam and sends Abyss into another barbed wire board. A third is stacked on top of Abyss for a big splash, cutting both of them open and giving Grado two. Laurel stumbles into the ring though and steals Janice from Grado before hitting him low.
She picks up Janice and there go the lights. Cue Rosemary (because Heaven forbid we just put her in the title match) to mist Laurel and Abyss, earning herself a chokeslam onto the tacks. Grado rolls Abyss up for two (with the bell ringing and being waved off), only to get Black Hole Slammed onto the barbed wire for the pin at 10:32.
Rating: D. Well that happened. If you’ve seen one of these things, you’ve seen them all as there’s practically a checklist of things you have to see in this match. Grado losing is rather dumb, but maybe they can’t afford to fly him in anymore. The women didn’t need to be involved, but at least they have a connection to the guys in the match.
Team Impact is ready with Ethan Carter III being very serious.
We recap Team AAA vs. Team Impact. AAA invaded, three Impact guys fought back, they’ve had a bunch of matches and now it’s a six man tag.
Team AAA vs. Team Impact
It’s Pagano/Texano/El Hijo De Fantasma vs. Ethan Carter III/Eddie Edwards/James Storm. Texano won’t shake hands with his partners as he and Fantasma are feuding in AAA. Eddie and Fantasma start things off with Fantasma being sent to the apron for an elbow to the face. Carter won’t tag in for some reason so it’s Storm in instead. Texano comes in as well and drives the once again legal Eddie into the corner with Pagano crotching him against the post.
The fans chant for lucha libre as Pagano chokes Edwards on the mat. Edwards hurricanranas both Fantasma and Texano at the same time but Carter still won’t tag. Instead it’s Storm, who grabs a neckbreaker to drive Texano and Fantasma down at the same time. Pagano crotches Storm down though and it’s time to continue the beating. Texano adds a shot with a bull rope and clotheslines Storm in the corner.
An Alabama Slam gets Storm out of trouble though and NOW Carter is willing to come in and clean house. A flapjack drops Fantasma and there’s a Downward Spiral to Pagano. Everything breaks down and Eddie scores with a suicide dive. Back in and Eddie hits Carter by mistake though, leaving Pagano to hit a running….elbow I think to drop Storm.
Pagano gets catapulted into a flip dive onto everyone else and Storm adds his own flip dive (off the post) onto the pile. Back in and we get the required Tower of Doom with only Storm being spared. Instead it’s James coming in with a top rope elbow onto Texano, followed by a double clothesline to Fantasma and Pagano. Eddie enziguris Pagano back down and a second does the same to Fantasma.
That’s about it for Eddie’s run though as Fantasma comes back with his kneeling tombstone to drive Eddie onto the apron in a disturbing heap. Pagano drops a top rope leg onto Carter, who pops up with a double low blow. A double 1%er drops Texano and Pagano and it’s back to Storm, with Carter telling him to kick someone’s head off. The Last Call ends Pagano at 15:24.
Rating: C-. The match was watchable but it felt like it just kept going. The other problem here is it doesn’t solve anything. This is just a match that happened and doesn’t really change anything. There’s no reason for the feud not to continue, which it likely will at the next set of tapings. Carter vs. Storm would seem to be in the cards, which is certainly an upgrade for both guys.
Carter and Storm share a beer.
Chris Adonis and Eli Drake are ready to retain the title tonight. The Gravy Train is coming to run Johnny Impact over and the only thing Johnny deserves is a one way ticket to a beating.
We recap OVE vs. LAX. OVE won the titles and LAX swore revenge, citing their huge numbers advantage. LAX beat OVE down multiple times so OVE is bringing in a relative to help in the street fight rematch. This would seem to be the debuting Sami Callihan.
Hang on a second as we see a body down with a Mexican flag over him. The same thumbs up into a thumbs down is seen, which is Callihan’s signature.
Tag Team Titles: OVE vs. LAX
LAX is defending and this is a street fight. There’s no Homicide, suggesting that he was the one down in the back. Santana and Ortiz dive onto the champs to start in a hurry. The brawl splits in two with Jake kicking a trashcan wrapped around Ortiz as Dave and Santana fight in the crowd. Ortiz fights back and grabs a running Liger Bomb off the ramp through a table to basically kill Jake.
Santana climbs the scaffolding as the fans chant about how they can’t see anything. A big splash from near the roof crushes Dave through a table and thankfully they’re both alive. Back at ringside, Jake fights off a table and pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head to save himself. Some chairs are set up in the ring and it’s Jake superplexing Ortiz through them, banging up his own back pretty badly in the process.
Santana is back inside and the Street Sweeper onto a pile of chairs plants Jake, only to have Dave come back in for the save. Four strikes to the face give us a quadruple knockdown with LAX getting the better of it. Some ladders and tables are set up at ringside but here’s Callihan to throw powder in Konnan’s face. He throws Ortiz onto a ladder and piledrives Santana through a table, giving OVE a double pin to retain at 10:21.
Rating: B-. Fun brawl, though they didn’t exactly hide the ending. It also doesn’t help that OVE was losing a fair fight when Sami came in. That should be a heel turn and given how this company goes, it really wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Good match though, with the violence being the focus, as it should have been.
Post match OVE keeps stomping as Sami is announced as the newest member of the team. That’s rather heelish, especially since LAX was fighting two on two.
We recap the Knockouts Title match, which is basically a farewell tribute to Gail Kim. She’s retiring from the company after tonight and wants to go out with one last title reign. Allie and champion Sienna are just window dressing.
Gail is ready to win the title back by being herself.
Santino Marella is shown in the crowd.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Sienna vs. Allie
Sienna is defending and gets double teamed to start, only to double clothesline the challengers down. A double camel clutch has Gail and Allie in trouble until Sienna gets sent outside. Allie hits something like a Sliced Bread #2 into a Stunner on the floor, followed by Gail adding a 619 around the post. That leaves Allie vs. Gail inside with a slugout being quickly cut off by the returning Sienna.
Gail snaps off a super hurricanrana to the champ and all three are down. Sienna is up first and runs Allie over before choking Gail with her own hair. A fall away slam from the middle rope has Allie reeling and a spinebuster to Gail is good for a double cover. Gail slips out of the AK47 and gets two out of a sunset flip. Eat Defeat gets two on Allie with Sienna making another save. Sienna throws Allie outside in a heap but walks into a super Eat Defeat to give Gail the title at 10:30.
Rating: C+. Well now don’t we all feel better? The most praised Knockout ever gets ONE MORE accolade to go out on, because we just haven’t spent enough time talking about how amazing she is over the years. I get that she’s great but she has practically ever accolade ever and I really don’t need to see her get even more praise.
Bobby Lashley and King Mo are going to the ring on their own.
Here’s Jimmy Jacobs, who says hi to commentary and leaves. Uh, good?
We recap Lashley/King Mo vs. Stephan Bonnar/Moose. American Top Team wants Lashley to be in MMA full time but Moose was sent out to give him one last match. This turned into a huge brawl with the American Top Team guys beating Moose down. Moose got former MMA fighter and rookie wrestler Bonnar to help him, setting up a tag match in a cage.
Bobby Lashley/King Mo vs. Stephan Bonnar/Moose
Pinfall or submission only inside a cage with American Top Team in Lashley and Mo’s corner. Some rapper plays Moose to the ring in a cameo that really didn’t need to happen. Apparently it’s Moose’s brother, which really doesn’t make this any better. Thankfully there are no tags and the MMA guys are laid out in twenty seconds, leaving Moose vs. Lashley, which is what this should have been from the beginning.
Mo punches Moose out and Bonnar drops Lashley, leaving us with the MMA showdown. And hang on again as the fighters are dropped a second time so Moose can charge into a powerbomb into the cage wall. Bonnar is back up with a powerbomb to Lashley, who lands on his shoulder. Mo is busted open but the wrestlers take the fighters down a third time as I guess they’re building drama? To a non-wrestling match?
Lashley turns Moose inside out with a clothesline but Moose is back up with a spear to put everyone down. We finally get Mo vs. Bonnar and they go to the mat with Josh doing his worst Joe Rogan impression. Bonnar gets an armbar as the fans chant for Georges St. Pierre. Back up and Bonnar misses a kick and gets taken down by Mo again. A choke has Mo in trouble but Lambert just opens the cage door and sends in the MMA guys. Oh my goodness I can’t stand anything about this match.
Moose comes back and cleans house, including a high crossbody to take down a bunch of guys. A super chokebomb takes down one of the fighters before Moose and Mo leave the cage. Lambert throws Mo back inside and goes in as well before locking Moose out. Mo punches out a fighter by mistake, leaving Bonnar to kick him down. Lashley spears Bonnar but Moose climbs the cage and takes everyone out with a big dive. Lambert is left alone but Lashley spears Moose down for the pin at 10:40.
Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness I KNEW IT! I picked the wrestlers in the predictions but I had a feeling that TNA would have the MMA guys win. Why? Well it would be the dumbest thing they could do and make the wrestlers look like losers to people who probably won’t even be around. This is so TNA and I can’t get over it. Oh and they managed to have a horrible match because it was more about MMA than anything else. Bonnar couldn’t do basic stuff right and Mo didn’t even try to do anything other than slow MMA stuff. Terrible match with the worst possible ending, so we’ll call this the TNA Special.
Johnny Impact talks about everything he’s given up over the years (friends, family gatherings, carbs). When he was growing up, he had two heroes: Randy Savage and his father. After tonight, he’s taking the title back home to his father, who will tell him it’s never too late to go to law school. His dad is going to be proud though, and that’s what matters most.
Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Johnny Impact
Drake is defending and has Chris Adonis in his corner. Impact avoids a pre-bell jumping and starts fast with a clothesline. The champ bails to the floor so Johnny is right on him with a slingshot dive. A running flip kick off the apron has Drake in more trouble and a backdrop makes things even worse. Johnny adds a sliding German suplex as Josh says this is the first real test for Drake as champion. Keep in mind that Impact already had a title shot, making Josh sound dumber than usual.
Adonis gets in a cheap shot though and Drake takes over with an elbow off the apron. Drake keeps him outside and throws him into the barricade before choking with a boot. Back in and Drake gets two off a powerslam, followed by some elbow drops. They head outside again with Johnny kicking him in the face, knocking the champ into the post. Johnny’s leg hits post though and Drake takes it back inside.
That’s fine with Impact, who kicks him down and tries a moonsault, only to get elbowed for his efforts. A belly to back superplex drops Drake and another moonsault gets two. The standing shooting star gets the same as that leg seems just fine after hitting the post. Countdown to Impact misses as we’re just waiting on the ref bump/Alberto. Johnny kicks him in the head and goes up again, only to have Adonis offer a distraction.
This time it’s Drake running the corner for a superplex and another near fall. They head up at the same time this time around with Johnny scoring with a super Spanish Fly. That’s not enough either so Adonis throws Drake the belt. Johnny takes it away though and takes Adonis down, followed by Countdown to Impact for two. The Gravy Train is countered into a Shining Wizard but Drake sends him shoulder first into the post.
They head up again (fourth time) but Johnny kicks him down, setting up Starship Pain for two as Alberto pulls the referee out. That’s not a DQ for no logical reason so Johnny dives over the top at Alberto, hitting the referee by mistake. Alberto hits Drake with the belt before breaking a chair over Johnny’s head (Who needs PG?). Drake is pulled onto Johnny to retain the title at 19:49.
Rating: B-. Well Alberto looks like a big deal, Johnny looks like a choker and Drake and the title are now somewhere in the top seven or eight most important things in this company. This sets up Johnny vs. Alberto, but we have no one to challenge for the title. I mean, assuming we don’t get a triple threat out of this, which would be one of the least interesting things they could do. Alberto is clearly the focus of the promotion whether you like it or not, but he should be better now that he’s away from the horrible LAX feud. The match was good, but it was a long exercise in waiting for Alberto.
We’re off the air less than thirty seconds after the match ends. The screen says “matchup graphics” because we needed to go out on one last production error.
Overall Rating: C-. So that’s the biggest show of the year. This show was the definition of mediocre with some good action, horrible booking choices and practically nothing memorable whatsoever. The ending of the cage match was about as dumb as they could get and I didn’t really expect anything less. Tomorrow they start another marathon taping session to take us into the new year, but this time it’s without anything major to build towards. In other words, imagine a show with even less motivation than its had lately.
The show certainly wasn’t terrible and there was some good stuff sprinkled throughout, but it was nothing that hadn’t been done before. That’s this company in a nutshell for you: it could have been worse, but it’s nothing you’re ever going to want to go back and see again, plus one major error in what should have been a layup. Oh and former WWE people who didn’t add much. I was hoping for more from their Wrestlemania, but I didn’t once actually expect it. If that doesn’t sum up TNA, I don’t know what does.
Results
Trevor Lee b. Sonjay Dutt, Garza Jr., Petey Williams, Matt Sydal and Dezmond Xavier – Canadian Destroyer to Xavier
Taiji Ishimori b. Tyson Dux – 450
Abyss b. Grado – Black Hole Slam onto a barbed wire board
Team Impact b. Team AAA – Last Call to Pagano
OVE b. LAX – Piledriver through a table to Santana
Gail Kim b. Sienna and Allie – Super Eat Defeat to Sienna
Lashley/King Mo b. Moose/Stephan Bonnar – Spear to Moose
Eli Drake b. Johnny Impact – Chair to the head
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