Impact Wrestling – August 4, 2016: Less Hardy, More Happy

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

This should be interesting as the taping schedule changes has reared its head again. Bound For Glory 2016 was originally scheduled for early September but since WWE has added a show on the same night, Bound For Glory has been moved forward a month. As a result, tonight’s Bound For Glory Playoff final is going to set up a two month build towards the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Bound For Glory Playoff.

Last week Drew Galloway was livid at Ethan Carter III and would say what he’s going to do to him but this video would be used as evidence.

Mike Bennett and Ethan are in the ring for a face to face chat before their match tonight. Bennett brings up Ethan hiding behind his aunt but Ethan says Mike isn’t fighting Aunt D. tonight. Mike didn’t need Ethan to come out there with a kendo stick last week because he could beat Galloway on his own.

The two of them are here to do this forever and Mike has already beaten the unbeatable and he knows he can do it again. No matter what Ethan can do, he’ll always be second best because Bennett is just flat out better. Bennett says he’s ready no matter what and here’s Moose for some intimidation. The beating is on and Carter is planted with a Sky High. Carter and Bennett just have mad chemistry together.

Eli Drake is ready to make James Storm cry in his beer.

We get another clip of Rosemary going insane and trying to get Bram to go to the barn.

King of the Mountain Title: Eli Drake vs. James Storm

Storm is challenging and has to give up beer, his music and basically his entire gimmick if he loses. In other words, Storm will be deleted, finally. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Drake taking him into the ring for a neckbreaker. A legdrop with Storm’s neck on the middle rope keeps him in trouble but James comes back with a spinebuster for two.

Drake continues to show off though by jumping to the top rope for a superplex, followed by a quick powerslam for two more. Dang I like this guy more and more every time I see him. Drake brings in the title belt but gets caught in the Eye of the Storm. Drake loads up the beer but it goes into the referee’s eyes, allowing Eli to hit James with the belt for two. Neither finisher can hit so Drake tries a springboard, only to dive into the Last Call to give Storm the title at 6:49.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t have expected to see Eli Drake do two Shelton Benjamin spots in a single match but the guy keeps surprising me. Storm almost had to win the title here as you don’t want to mess with a popular gimmick like his, especially at this point in his career. Good match here and I hope Drake is back soon.

Post match Lashley comes out as Storm celebrates. After a break, Lashley is in the ring with James to say they have the only singles titles in this company because they’re the best in the world. Storm likes the look of that TNA World Title because he had it five years ago. Lashley is a former NCAA Heavyweight Champion so Storm can probably beat him in about thirty seconds.

A challenge is issued and Storm says Lashley will hurt his hands from punching James’ face so many times. Lashley gives him a chance to hand over the title now so the beating doesn’t end Storm’s career but James is willing to fight at some point in the future. Dang it they’re going to have Lashley all the titles. I’ve never been a fan of that story and it’s been done too often in recent years.

Maria gives Gail Kim a match with Allie as part of her path to a Knockouts Title match.

Bram and Rosemary are in the barn with Rosemary getting very close to him.

Gail Kim vs. Allie

Allie looks terrified. Actually hang on as Maria comes out make it a handicap match.

Gail Kim vs. Allie/Sienna

Sienna takes her down and chokes with a boot before bringing Allie in, much to her own terror. It’s quickly back to Sienna for a wheelbarrow suplex but Allie can’t even handle a slam. Sienna is smart enough to drag Allie to the corner for a tag but Gail knocks Allie to the floor and starts his comeback. Allie comes back in for a distraction and Gail gets caught in the AK47 for two. Sienna hits the Silencer on Allie by mistake and Gail grabs a quick pin on Allie at 5:45.

Rating: D+. You could see the ending coming as soon as they announced Sienna but that’s not the worst thing in the world. On the other hand though, Gail being the challenger for the title at Bound For Glory is closer to being one of the worst things TNA could do for the belt right now. It’s just been done so many times now and the fact that she’s going into the Hall of Fame doesn’t make it any better. Gail isn’t interesting as a regular character, a veteran, or anything really for that matter. She’s certainly talented but that doesn’t make her interested.

Matt Hardy accuses Jeff Hardy of getting hurt and costing them the Tag Team Titles. True actually. Tonight, Matt is going to tell a story so Jeff can learn what to do next.

Next week: Lashley vs. Storm, winner take all.

Here’s Reby to introduce Matt, meaning it’s time for more loud screechy voices, a new found TNA trademark. Matt has Jeff come out so Reby can shout OBSOLETE over and over. We hear about the history of the Hardy Boyz with Jeff being described as a spot monkey. They won the TNA Tag Team Titles but Jeff got injured and betrayed his brother. That took money out of Matt’s pocket so it’s time to win the Tag Team Titles back for Matt’s financial benefit. Oh and Jeff isn’t allowed to jump off the top rope.

Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy vs. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor

Matt is staying on the floor to make this a handicap match. Taylor is a big name from the independents, primarily in Chikara. Dunn starts for the team but gets caught with a slingshot dropkick in the corner. The fans chant for Jeff as Matt keeps running his mouth on a mic about how Brother Nero is an obsolete mule.

Taylor comes in with an elbow drop and a seated abdominal stretch as Matt pulls a fan over the barricade and bites him to draw some blood. Jeff makes his comeback but JT blocks the Twist of Fate. Matt: “YOU BETTER NOT LOSE YOU DELETED OBSOLETE MULE!” Matt gets in the ring to block the Swanton but Jeff jumps over Matt anyway, only to take a Twist of Fate. With Jeff down, Matt tags himself in and pins Dunn at 6:24.

Rating: D. Hey, did you know that Matt is all wacky and insane and broken? I didn’t know if TNA had hammered it into your head enough yet so I thought I’d point it out again. It’s pretty clear that we’re heading for Jeff’s big win at Bound For Glory, even if it means stretching this feud out WAY beyond its expiration date.

Grado/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal/Al Snow

Yes again. Apparently Grado couldn’t hire Grado again because he spent all his money on Pokeballs. The numbers game has the bad guys in control to start with Grado’s clothesline having little effect. Snow takes Grado down as we get into a more standard match. We get some trash talk from the veteran to draw Shera in, causing the referee to miss Grado’s small package on Snow. The hot tag brings in Shera and he shrugs off the numbers advantage. Stereo powerslams plant the Tribunal and a Sky High ends Snow at 6:01.

Rating: D+. Again, this was a moderately interesting idea that TNA has no idea how to wrap up so they just keep going until it’s driven into the ground. The Tribunal could have been a nice midcard tag team but now they’re losing to goons like Shera and Grado long after this feud should have wrapped up.

Rosemary is still crazy. Bram tries to leave the barn but Rosemary holds him in place. He says everyone has had their heart broken and she needs to get over it. Rosemary starts screaming and Decay comes in to knock Bram out. Bram is thrown into the trunk of a car and Decay drives off, laughing maniacally along the way.

Video on EC3.

Bennett is ready for Carter.

Carter is ready for Bennett and says Mike can bring the whole wilderness to face him.

Tyrus is ready to fix your problems.

Bound For Glory Playoff Final: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

No Moose in Bennett’s corner and Carter is coming in with bad ribs. Carter runs him over with a shoulder to start and works on the wristlock. A gorilla press drop looks to set up a splash but there’s no rocket fuel in the spaceship and Carter hits knees. Back from a break with Bennett in control and putting on an abdominal stretch. A spinebuster gets two on Carter but he grabs a rollup for the same. They slug it out with Bennett grabbing some rolling German suplexes, only to have Carter grab a sitout powerbomb for two.

Maria gets on the apron for a failed distraction so both guys head up top with a super cutter getting two on Ethan. More yelling earns Maria an ejection and the distraction means the 1%er only gets two. Cue Moose but Eddie Edwards takes him out, leaving Bennett to hit the MIP for two of his own. Both finishers are countered again until the 1%er hits again to give Ethan the title shot at 17:25.

Rating: B. These two just work together and this was another good match between them. Carter going to Bound For Glory is pretty much their only option, even though Carter vs. Lashley isn’t the most interesting main event in the world. That being said, I’m not sure what Bennett does unless they add he and Galloway to the title match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was mostly good save for the first half of the second hour. There’s stuff on this show that works so well but at the other end of the spectrum their bad parts are just so dull. Bound For Glory looks good on top though it’s not entirely clear what they’re going with yet. Again: as long as the Hardys don’t main event, I’m perfectly fine with how most of the show is going. This week’s show was much better than recent weeks and I think a lot of it has to do with Matt and Jeff not dominating the first half hour. Amazing how that works no?

Results

James Storm b. Eli Drake – Last Call

Gail Kim b. Sienna/Allie – Gail pinned Allie after a Silencer from Sienna

Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy b. JT Dunn/Chuck Taylor – Swanton Bomb to Dunn

Grado/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal/Al Snow – Sky High to Snow

Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett – 1%er

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Impact Wrestling – July 28, 2016: What To Delete Next

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 28, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is still about finding a #1 contender for the World Title as we have the semifinals of the Bound For Glory Playoff with four people still possibly advancing to fight Lashley. Speaking of Lashley he now holds both the TNA World and X-Division Titles so we’ll have to see what he does with both belts. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s first round to get us to the final four.

Here’s Matt Hardy for his match but first, Matt summons Brother Nero to the ring, meaning we get to hear Reby say OBSOLETE over and over again. Matt commands Jeff to help him win his match tonight despite THAT NOT BEING PART OF THE STORY. We’re still not ready as Matt growls at Ethan like an intoxicated gorilla. Ethan says nothing, including Senor Benjamin or Vanguard 1 bringing a dilapidated boat to the ring and dropping it on his head. Matt: “You are nothing more….” Ethan: “MY PROMO IS NOT OVER!!!” Carter says this man is Jeff Hardy and he is a relevant creature.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Matt bites the hand to block a chop so Carter goes with a middle rope dropkick, only to have Ethan tweak his ankle. A belly to belly suplex lets Matt kick at the leg but Ethan kicks him out to the floor for a dive. That just hurts his ankle again though and Ethan has to break out of the Twist of Fate. A Stinger Splash looks to set up the TK3 but Matt kicks the ankle again. The second TK3 works but Reby throws in the hammer. The referee is distracted by…..I think Jeff but Matt gets caught with the hammer anyway. As the referee takes it away, Ethan takes his own boot off to knock Matt out, followed by the 1%er to advance at 7:30.

Rating: C. The ankle injury worked fine but there’s still much insanity going on with the Matt vs. Jeff feud. Thankfully it seems to be wrapping up at Bound For Glory but why am I supposed to believe that it’s the final match? It’s kind of hard to buy that when they’ve already done the FINAL match. Oh and again: there’s no reason Jeff is Matt’s servant. Owning Jeff’s intellectual property doesn’t mean he has to do everything Matt tells him, even in TNA’s odd world.

Madison Rayne is annoyed at Maria and Allie so they give her Gail Kim tonight.

Post break, Matt yells at Jeff and promises to make it worse.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim

No entrances. Gail gets an early two off a backbreaker but Madison knees her in the ribs and a kick to the head gets two. An enziguri gets the same for Madison and there’s a slide into a clothesline against the bottom rope. Back up and Gail hits a quick Eat Defeat for the win at 4:59.

Rating: D+. These two have fought several times over the years and it’s really not interesting to see them do it again as we build towards Maria vs. Gail Kim in what should be a one sided slaughter. Madison isn’t the most intriguing character in the first place as she’s really just that person who used to be important but time has passed her by.

Mike Bennett and Moose are ready to destroy Lashley.

Rosemary and Bram meet in the woods and we get a flashback to Rosemary looking normal. When she was younger (as in early 20s) she had a cat. One day the cat got sick so she took it to mama, who told her everything would be ok. Then her Mama threw the cat in a trashcan to make Rosemary crazy like she is today. Back to reality, Bram thinks Rosemary is a little weird but they stop to look at a barn. It’s always a barn.

Moose vs. David Star

David is sat on the top rope for a dropkick out to the floor but Star comes back with a running dropkick. A pop up apron powerbomb ends Star’s run though and probably most of his career at the same time. Back in the and the Gamebreaker (basically a Rainmaker but with a discus lariat but without pulling Star in, making the spin rather pointless) ends Star at 2:22.

Post match here’s Lashley to come after Moose. We come back from a break with Mike Bennett pulling Moose back from Lashley and asking who wants to see this match. Eh not yet though as Bennett wants Moose to wait because Bennett needs him in the corner for the playoff match later.

The two of them leave so Lashley says he’s already got two titles but he wants all the singles gold. This brings out DJZ to suck up a bit so Lashley says DJZ can pick the match type for the X-Division Title match (remember that DJZ became #1 contender at Ultimate X). DJZ picks a ladder match and it’s on right now. Thankfully there are ladders ready just in case Lashley allowed DJZ to pick a stipulation.

X-Division Title: Lashley vs. DJZ

Lashley is defending and it’s a ladder match. DJZ gets thrown around to start but scores with a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Lashley throws the ladder out of the ring because he can so they head outside with DJZ hitting a flip dive off the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Lashley crushing DJZ with a ladder and no selling a baseball slide to drive the ladder into his chest.

Back in and the Dominator plants DJZ but he’s still able to dropkick Lashley off the ladder. That’s not enough for the climb though as Lashley lifts up the ladder and DJZ at the same time (Pope: “That’s not something you’ll see in the X-Division.” Except for right now, when we’re seeing it in the X-Division.). DJZ grabs a quick tornado DDT to plant Lashley but he slams DJZ off the ladder and retains at 12:38.

Rating: C-. This was fine even though the ending was obvious. There were some Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy tones here so the story worked but it was only as good as a DJZ match could get. I still really don’t like the idea of the X-Division being a prop for the World Champion to use. It was bad enough when Seth Rollins did the same thing to the US Title last year and I’m fairly convinced that this is a copy of that story. Eleven months is long enough to copy something right?

Ethan Carter III and Drew Galloway want to fight each other in the finals.

Bram and Rosemary look at the barn and Rosemary asks if it matters. We go to the flashback again with Rosemary talking to a tree about some guy named John. Rosemary writes in a journal and signs an R in her own blood. This keeps cutting in and out with pictures in her Decay attire and is all over the place like the Final Deletion style videos. Back in reality, Bram says it doesn’t matter if we hear about these old things because they’re here now. To be continued.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli calls Lashley a cross eyed halfwit and says you can’t just go around collecting titles like this is Pokemon Go. He likes the odds of putting Lashley’s two titles against his one but here’s James Storm to interrupt. Drake says he was calling out contenders and not a drunk. Storm brings up the DQ in their match and offers Drake another beer. Eli pulls out a jug of water but Storm kicks it out to the floor. Storm: “WATER SUCKS!”

That’s still a no so Storm makes parent sex jokes, earning himself a bunch of dummy’s. Drake will give him another shot but if Storm loses, he can’t have any more beer, can’t ride the Boozer Cruiser and can’t use that stupid country song. So…..he wants Storm deleted? Storm takes a swig of beer, drinks the one he had for Drake, and says it’s on. A belt shot misses but Drake gets in a low blow and Blunt Force Trauma.

Tyrus is still ready to fix your problems.

Grado calls Tyrus to try and get his help against the Tribunal but he and Mahabali Shera have no money. There’s a match next week.

Decay beats the BroMans down in the back and there’s a match up next.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. BroMans

Joined in progress with only Raquel at ringside. Decay is defending and this is Monster’s Ball just because. The champs are in control and pouring tacks out onto the mat as this is one sided so far. Jesse gets slammed down would rather grab a chair than follow up. Robbie ducks a double clothesline so Robbie can springboard in with a double clothesline of his own as the challengers take over.

Abyss gets a chair dropkicked into his face and a double spear sends him through a barbed wire board. Jesse grabs the Adonis Lock with Steve’s face in the tacks but Abyss breaks it up and throws him through a table at ringside. Cue another barbed wire board and Janice (of course) but Raquel sneaks in with a low blow to save her buddies. Robbie drops Janice though and a chokeslam onto the barbed wire retains the titles at 6:50.

Rating: C. If you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen them all, save for the pretty cool Adonis Lock onto the tacks spot. This was another gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match though and that gets really old in a hurry. It was fun enough and a violent (by TNA standards) brawl but almost nothing we haven’t seen before.

Bound For Glory Playoff Semifinals: Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Moose jumps Galloway during the entrance and powerbombs him onto the apron. Drew still says ring the bell because disqualifications cannot possibly happen before the bell. Bennett slowly beats him down until Drew grabs an overhead belly to belly to get himself a breather. A quick cutter gives Mike two and he throws Galloway outside. They head outside with Bennett going chest first into the bottom of the ring (as in the wood that holds it up) for two.

Drew tries Futureshock but spins Mike around first. That’s not enough though as Bennett slips away and punches the referee by mistake. Cue Moose to take Galloway out with a middle rope Sky High but Bennett only gets two. Now it’s Carter to go after Moose and send him into the steps, only to miss a kendo stick shot which hits Galloway by mistake. Moose pulls Carter to the floor, leaving Mike to hit the MIP for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C. WAY too messy near the end but they got the point across. In theory this should set up Galloway vs. Carter at Bound For Glory but I can’t imagine they’ll do Bennett vs. Lashley at Bound For Glory. Of course there’s always the big multi-man match that wrestling companies love so much and would be as big of a mess as you can get.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine but it really does show how weak they are once you get out of the upper midcard. Gail Kim is still a boring face of the Knockouts, the X-Division is a prop, Decay is still doing the same things they’ve been doing and the idea of Grado/Shera vs. the Tribunal again makes me very drowsy. Storm vs. Drake does sound good though so not all hope is lost. If nothing else, well done on having six matches in a week, which is hard for any tow hour show to pull off. Finally, they seem to have dropped Dixie vs. Corgan for now, though I can’t imagine it stays gone.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – 1%er

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Eat Defeat

Moose b. David Star – Gamebreaker

Lashley b. DJZ – Lashley pulled down the title

Decay b. BroMans – Chokeslam onto a barbed wire board

Mike Bennett b. Drew Galloway – MIP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 21, 2016: What The……?

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 21, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is a special show as they’re moving (again) to Thursday nights (again). There’s also a big rematch with Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley with both titles on the line inside a cage. It’s been a long time since there was a cage match in TNA (like a full three weeks or so) and that means it’s fresh enough. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jeff Hardy standing on a hill thinking about his motorcycle crash. Matt comes up to tell him he’s broken Brother Nero’s spirit. He eggs Jeff on until he gets on the motorcycle again, which Matt says he saw Jeff doing in a premonition. Jeff goes to jump and we cut to the arena. This would be the latest example of TNA running an idea into the ground.

Here’s Lashley to the ring to talk about how he should be the X-Division Champion after what happened last week. He’s not cool with someone like Moose coming to his ring and messing up his match because he doesn’t put on a helmet when he gets in a ring or in a cage. Moose needs to get out here right now and have a fight. Instead he gets Mike Bennett, who says Lashley has something he wants.

Bennett is going to go through the entire Bound For Glory Playoff until he gets what he wants because of this big man right here. Lashley wants to fight so Moose slowly comes down to the ring, only to have Eddie Edwards jump Moose from behind. The brawl erupts until Dixie Carter comes out to say cut it out because Mike and Moose are barred from ringside in the main event.

Matt Hardy and Reby come out (second segment with them in ten minutes) to show us clips of Jeff crashing his motorcycle. That means it’s BROKEN, just like Jeff will be. Back in the arena, Matt and Reby have Vanguard 1 play Jeff’s new music, which keeps calling him OBSOLETE in a computerized version of Matt’s singing voice. Also Jeff’s name graphic now says Brother Nero and his Twitter handle is obsoletemule.

Bound For Glory Playoff First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Mike Bennett

This is a tournament for the World Title shot at Bound For Glory, which TNA only kind of explained. Jeff is banged up from the motorcycle accident earlier today and can barely move. Mike takes him to the mat with a Fujiwara Armbar as the announcers talk about Jeff being fined $5000 every time he uses his own name since it’s Matt’s intellectual property. A cutter puts Jeff away at 2:08. This was barely a match.

Matt insults him a lot and starts to sound less like a British person and more like Mr. Burns.

Bound For Glory Playoff First Round: Matt Hardy vs. James Storm

Josh: “It’s like Matt is torturing his brother Jeff.” Thank you for clearing that up buddy. Storm punches him out to the floor to start and whips Matt into the steps. Storm drives the Boozer Cruiser into him and we take a break. Back with James sitting on the steps with Matt in the crowd and biting Storm’s hand. Storm fights back and hits a quick Closing Time inside, only to have Reby hit him in the leg with a hammer. The Twist of Fate advances Matt at 9:30.

Rating: D+. You knew Matt was going to advance here as they kind of have to push him towards the main event at this point. Unfortunately Matt’s character is far much stronger than his in ring work and that’s going to catch up with him in the long run. At the very least though it’s a good change to have Matt and Jeff in the arena and doing something other than fighting each other or being in wacky segments. The match wasn’t great but it’s better than seeing Matt be all nuts again.

Eddie says tonight is about second chances because he gets a second chance.

Video on Ethan Carter III.

Moose implies he’ll interfere but Mike tries to keep him backstage so they don’t get fired.

Here’s Ethan Carter III with something to say before his match. He goes to the steps (“Ethan’s Corner”) to say we’re talking about playoffs (complete with a Jim Mora impression for you NFL fans) where he can get to the top of the mountain for a third time. This brings out Drew Galloway who says (in some bad audio) that the real question is which of them are better.

Ethan may be great but his last name is Carter. He came here because his aunt runs this place. It wasn’t the same for Drew because TNA came to him. It turns out that they can meet in the finals and Ethan likes the sound of that. Drew wants to fight now but Eli Drake cuts them off. Drake says he’s looking at dummies and wants to hear YEAH when he says dummy. Eli: “Dummy!” Fans: “YEAH!” Eli: “I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!”

Bound For Glory Playoff First Round: Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Non-title. Carter grabs an armdrag into an armbar before dropping an elbow with a shout of EC3. Drake comes back with a jumping neckbreaker and we hit the neck crank. Carter fights back and hits a quick backdrop. Josh says Carter wants to be a modern day LeBron James. So…..like LeBron James? The TK3 gets two and Ethan heads up but Drake rolls through a high cross body for two. Blunt Force Trauma is countered into a rollup to send Carter to the semi-finals at 7:47.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on having a champion get pinned clean but Carter is a much bigger name than Drake in the first place. Also there’s only a handful of people that could actually win the tournament so just have Carter go over here and don’t waste time trying to make us believe that Drake has a chance.

Matt and Jeff are in the back with Vanguard 1, who Matt has catch him up on the tournament. Apparently Matt will be facing Ethan next week but he doesn’t want us to see the keys to victory that Vanguard 1 has produced so he has the camera feed taken down. Related note: is there a reason Jeff is following Matt around? The stipulation was that he loses the Hardy name, not that be becomes Matt’s property.

Allie tries to get Maria to meditate before Maria’s state of the Knockouts address.

Ad for Brodus Clay’s fixing services.

The Knockouts division (including Allie to get us to seven) is in the ring as Allie introduces Maria for the address. The boss says they can air their grievances so everyone raises their hand. Allie starts by asking how you can be more like Maria. Apparently it’s just believe in her vision so Jade cuts Maria off to ask why she hasn’t gotten a one on one rematch for the title.

Gail wants to know the same thing but also wants to face Maria one on one. That broken hand looked just fine last week so what’s the next excuse? Sienna gets in Gail’s face and tells her to stop being so selfish and making it all about her. Maria makes Gail vs. the entire division with the person taking her out being handsomely rewarded. Jade says she’s out and gets in a fight with Marti. Madison jumps Gail from behind, saying she’s looking out for herself.

Bram is getting ready when Rosemary comes up. She offers her help to win tonight and they kiss.

The Tribunal beats Mahabali Shera down.

Bound For Glory Playoff First Round: Drew Galloway vs. Bram

No Rosemary. They slug it out to start and Bram bails from the threat of a Futureshock. Drew sends him outside but eats a spinning kick to the head. Back in and Drew still can’t get Futureshock so Bram punches him into the corner and gets two off a good looking powerbomb. Drew fights back up and avoids a charge, setting up the Futureshock to advance at 6:55.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but that might be because they’ve fought multiple times in the last few months. Bram losing is a bit annoying but again, Galloway is one of the few serious options to win the whole thing. I’m kind of disappointed they didn’t go anywhere with Rosemary in this match but I’m sure that’ll be a story going forward.

We see a preview for next week’s show but the graphic says “tonight”. That’s the second time in three weeks they’ve screwed up something like that.

Mike tries to intimidate Drew about their match next week but Drew doesn’t bite.

X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Pinfall or submission only. Title for title inside Six Sides of Steel and there’s no Davey Richards here. Also if Bennett or Moose interfere, Bennett is fired. Eddie dives through the cage door to take Lashley out before the bell. Lashley throws him into the barricade and then into the cage for the opening bell. A neckbreaker puts Eddie down and his hurricanrana attempt is countered with a powerbomb into the cage as we take a break.

Back with Lashley getting two off a suplex and grabbing a chinlock. A torture rack doesn’t work as well but Lashley cuts off the comeback with a spinebuster. Eddie finally realizes they’re in a cage and whips Lashley into the steel a few times. Edwards tries to get to the top but has to hurricanrana Lashley down to break up a powerbomb attempt. The Boston Knee Party gets two so Lashley just throws him into the cage door.

The spear drives Edwards onto the floor (remember it’s pin or submission only) and Lashley follows him to grab the World Title. Eddie is back up for another Boston Knee Party to send the belt into Lashley’s face but it’s only good for two. So much for that finisher meaning anything. Eddie goes up again but Lashley shakes the cage to set up a superplex and a big crash. Two spears make Lashley a double champion at 19:11.

Rating: B+. Aside from basically destroying the running knee as a finisher, this was a really good showcase for Eddie who now looks like a threat to Lashley and most other main eventers. Now I highly doubt he does anything other than restarting the Wolves because they basically are the tag division but at least he had a quick singles run. One other thing: why was this in a cage? The point was to keep Bennett and Moose out of the match but they were banned earlier tonight. Either don’t ban them or have this be a regular match. It didn’t need to be both.

Lashley shoves Eddie away post match so Ethan comes out for the save. That brings out Matt (who we hadn’t seen in a long time) followed by Mike and Moose for the big brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s amazing what happens when your show has an actual focus and gets stuff done instead of just being the Matt Hardy Does Odd Shenanigans Hour. This blazed through more than half of a tournament, set up stuff for the future and changed a title in the span of a little over two hours. If TNA can keep doing stuff like this while limiting the Hardy stuff to a segment a show (Matt showed up in four different segments tonight and dominated the almost the first forty minutes), things will be looking way up. As it was, this show worked quite well and I like where things are going for a change.

Results

Mike Bennett b. Jeff Hardy – Cutter

Matt Hardy b. James Storm – Twist of Fate

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Sunset flip

Drew Galloway b. Bram – Futureshock

Lashley b. Eddie Edwards – Spear

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Impact Wrestling – July 12, 2016: I Needed A Break

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s Destination X and that means title for title with World Champion Lashley facing X-Division Champion Eddie Edwards in a winner take all match. Mike Bennett has promised to ruin the whole thing though and there’s also the possibility that Maria Kanellis will do something to further her issues with Dixie Carter. Let’s get to it.

We open with Final Deletion clips, including Jeff Hardy waking up. Matt goes down to the boat and names it Scarsguard as a thank you for saving him last week. Matt takes it out into the water with a bag containing Jeff’s remnants but the drone comes out, carrying the shirt Jeff was wearing to complete the package. Naturally this is continuing.

Braxton Sutter vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews

Ladder match for the #1 contendership to the X-Division Title because it’s time for the usual suspects to be thrown into a mess of a match so they don’t have to develop in the slightest. Mandrews dives onto the Helms Dynasty as they come to the ring with DJZ doing the same thing for a big crash. DJZ stops Mandrews from grabbing the X but Sutter stops DJZ just as quickly.

Trevor goes for the belt on two ladders but they’re pulled away, forcing him into the splits for a new idea. Spud takes down a bunch of people with a chair but gets kicked in the head. A Sutter powerbomb knocks Lee silly, only to have Spud take him down with a belt to the back. We get the traditional Shane Helms interference to stop DJZ going for the belt, only to have DJZ shove the ladder over with Everett go crashing into the pile. DJZ pulls down the X to win at 5:55.

Rating: C. More of the same from the X-Division with a bunch of bodies flying around and no characters for the most part. It’s basically the second time they’ve done this same match in two weeks after the Ultimate X match last week. Is it too much to ask to go a month or two between “go grab something” matches?

DJZ is proud of his win and promises to go win the title when Mike Bennett jumps him from behind.

Ethan Carter III is ready to fight Drew Galloway because talking is over.

Dixie Carter says they’re moving back “home” to Thursday nights next week with the start of the Bound For Glory Playoffs.

Eddie Edwards and Lashley are in the ring for a face to face showdown. Lashley says the World Title is the heart of Impact Wrestling and he’s the top of the food chain. All Eddie has done is tick him off but Edwards says he’s going to walk out World Champion. Lashley says this isn’t a movie (True. That would be Final Deletion.) and the underdog doesn’t win. The X-Division Title is real life but Lashley beats him down when the Wolves Nation is mentioned for the first time (Good. That name has always sounded stupid.). The spear puts Eddie down and Lashley gets a chair, only to have Davey Richards return for the save.

Abyss has to choke Crazy Steve to calm him down as Steve is losing his mind about Rosemary kissing Bram last week. Tonight Abyss can take care of Bram and everything will be beautiful again.

Back at Matt’s house, he’s invited guests to his private movie theater to watch the Final Deletion. In another room, Reby pulls a book from the wall to open the door to Maxill’s room. She picks up the baby and drops down a fireman’s pole into the theater as we see the family and guests watch last week’s events. More is promised, which means I’ll get another week of being called stupid for not hailing this as the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

Abyss vs. Bram

Abyss hits some right hands to the ribs in the corner to start before sending him out to the floor for a crash. Steve pulls Bram’s hair out but Bram comes back with some right hands of his own. A chokeslam cuts off a comeback but here’s Rosemary to check on Bram. The distraction lets Bram roll Abyss up for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D. It was about time to screw with the Decay as the Wolves are apparently back and it’s time to put the titles on them again because they’re the most amazing team in the history of ever and we don’t want Decay getting any more traction than they already have. That’s TNA’s take on things: don’t let anything but the old standard get too big because that might let them go somewhere and that just isn’t how TNA wants things go work. The match was nothing of course.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Marti Bell vs. Gail Kim vs. Sienna

Is this the entire division at the moment? Sienna is defending and Gail jumps her on the ramp because this is basically two singles matches at once. Gail is discarded (Don’t worry. She’ll be back to save the division soon enough.) so Sienna can stomp on Marti as Josh promises MORE from Matt’s house at dinner last night.

Marti gets two on Sienna with Gail making the save, followed by a quick Tower of Doom. Jade and Gail dive onto the heels before slugging it out in the ring. Gail avoids a Pele and gets two off a backsplash. All four are back in now with Marti hitting a Pedigree on Jade. Eat Defeat drops Marti but Sienna Pounces Gail to retain at 5:10.

Rating: D. Another four way with no characters, the same moves over and over and Gail Kim being involved because screw “the division”, it’s all about promoting her. We’re just waiting to see her enshrined at this point and probably winning the title back at Bound For Glory so everything can be right.

Matt and his family had dinner and it’s all bizarre and weird and Matt speaks Spanish and it’s not funny or interesting and I don’t care if I’m stupid for not getting it. Next.

Lashley wants Davey Richards at ringside for the title match tonight.

We see the end of the Final Deletion. Again.

Here are Matt and Reby to brag about their win last week. Matt has DELETED Jeff, who Reby brings out and shouts OBSOLETE over and over. Apparently Matt wants to keep Jeff around and bleed every dollar out of him by making him his mule. DELETE DELETE DELETE. Oh yeah this is continuing until Bound For Glory and probably beyond.

DJZ wants Mike Bennett in the ring tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. DJZ

Mike runs him over to start but DJZ fires off right hands. Those go nowhere because he’s a lowly X-Division wrestler and can’t fight a heavyweight. A spinebuster gets two and we hit a chinlock for a few moments. DJZ fights up and headscissors him out to the floor for a flip dive. That’s enough for Bennett as he tries to walk up the ramp, only to be cut off by the X-Division. The distraction lets DJZ grab a rollup for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. There’s your token pin because the X-Division actually matters tonight. The pinfall is nice but I have no reason to believe this is actually going to stick. You know, like it never actually does in TNA. Nothing to see here but that’s almost always the case in TNA around Destination X time.

Post match Bennett yells about wanting to ruin Destination X because that win really didn’t mean much. He promises to burn this place to the ground.

Drew Galloway wants to fight.

Bennett is on the phone and tells someone to get here tonight so they can burn it to the ground.

Here’s Galloway to call Ethan out for a fight, as in not a match. Ethan is ready go to as well and it’s on in a hurry. Drew takes it to the floor but gets suplexed. They trade some chops and Ethan pelts him with a chair. They fight backstage with Ethan getting the better of it until a bunch of people break it up.

Davey tapes up Eddie’s hands for the main event.

X-Division Title/TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Both titles are on the line. Lashley shoves him around to start but his suplex is countered into a sleeper. That goes as far as your average sleeper is going to take you so Lashley sends him outside for a suplex on the ramp. Eddie is sent into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Lashley beating Eddie in the corner and choking on the mat until Eddie fights up with a tornado DDT. A low bridge sends Lashley to the floor and there are three straight suicide dives. Back in and Eddie gets two off a sitout spinebuster before kicking Lashley in the eye.

Eddie tries the Boston Knee Party but gets caught in a powerslam with the referee getting bumped. Lashley grabs a chair so here’s Davey for the superkick/brainbuster combo and a near fall. Cue Mike Bennett but MOOSE makes his debut (complete with the Moose name and cool entrance music) to lay out Davey. We’ll call it a no contest at about 15:00.

Rating: B-. As usual, TNA is mostly fine between the bells and only lacks in the story departments. The match was good with a power vs. speed formula that works almost every single time. Eddie is more than good enough in the ring to fight off a monster like Lashley and the ending is intriguing stuff with a big name debuting. Good stuff here and a worthy main event.

Post match Bennett hits Lashley low, allowing Moose to take Lashley out as well.

And now, here’s Dixie Carter to end the show. The fans deserve a winner so there’s a rematch inside Six Sides of Steel with both titles on the line. To recap: a major name just debuted and we wrap it up with Dixie Carter.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a very, very tricky one to grade as I actually had to stop watching for about forty minutes before I went insane. The first half of this show was every single problem TNA had rolled into a single show:

1. X-Division/Knockouts clearly having no effort put in. It’s “here’s the entire division in one match with no characters or story”, just like it’s been for months if not years. The wrestling itself was fine (or as fine as you’re going to get in two matches combining to go ten minutes) but the lack of character development is killing them more and more every single time. There’s nothing different about these people and it shows when they’re thrown out there in one big mess of a match almost every time.

2. Dixie with her “we’re going home” speech. I can’t stand her more and more every time I see her.

3. Matt Hardy all over the show. We’ve seen that clip so many times and it’s being driven into the ground. The feud is clearly continuing and it’s going to be more of the same. If you like it then great, but if you don’t like it, prepare to be stuck sitting there all night long because it’s not going away.

4. TNA fans are going to spend the next week explaining to me about how amazing this was and how stupid I am for disagreeing.

Now that being said, the second half was MUCH better with the wrestling and stories being improvements with characters doing things that make sense for them. The main event was a perfectly acceptable use of the last segment with a new name debuting and a good match building towards it. That’s all well and good, but TNA just has so much bad that drags the good down and there’s almost nothing in the middle. It’s either horrible or good and that gets old in a hurry.

Results

DJZ b. Braxton Sutter, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Mandrews – DJZ pulled down the X

Bram b. Abyss – Rollup

Sienna b. Gail Kim, Jade and Marti Bell – Pounce to Kim

DJZ b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest when Moose interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – June 7, 2016: Their Last Chance

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 7, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and the big question is what the heck Matt and Jeff Hardy are going to do after last week’s bizarre video from inside Matt’s barn with the fake baby and difficult to destroy table. Good or bad, it’s been a hot topic in wrestling ever since so they’re doing something right. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Matt attacking Jeff.

Here’s Matt in the arena to a JEFF IS BETTER chant. Matt talks about how Jeff was jealous of Matt being World Champion so he had to be destroyed. That’s why you won’t see Jeff here tonight, tomorrow or on Sunday. However, before Matt can be whole again, he needs his World Title back. This brings out Drew Galloway, who Matt says would never be champion without Jeff’s help. Matt wants to be added to the main event of Slammiversary but Drew says no. Hardy calls him a coward so Drew agrees to defend the title tonight against Matt.

Madison Rayne vs. Sienna

Winner gets Jade (at ringside here) for the title on Sunday. Allie offers an early verbal distraction, allowing Sienna to get in a few cheap shots from behind. Sienna starts working on the back but can’t hit the AK-47 (that spinning faceplant as dubbed by Dinero). Madison gets in a dropkick but a few shots to the back sets up the AK-47 for the pin and the title shot at 2:33.

Post match Jade saves Madison from a beating. Can we just get the title on Sienna so Gail can get it back in the big special moment at Bound For Glory? You know, for a change of pace.

Maria and Mike Bennett say they’ll win tonight.

Eli Drake is on a mountain and tells Bram to come get him.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life. Drake’s guest is….himself. Yeah last week he beat Bram because Bram is a dummy. He’ll be champion as long as he wants but tonight he wants to recognize some other champions so here’s Decay. Drake compares them to a basketball team and thinks Rosemary might be the hottest Knockout around under all that makeup. He asks how they’re going to take the BroMans apart on Sunday so Steve talks about all the evil inside them. Abyss says the BroMans aren’t beautiful and they’ll decay at Slammiversary.

Cue the BroMans and Raquel to say they want a fight tonight. A match is teased and it’s Grado and Mahabali Shera coming out because we were starting to get a bit serious. Drake says they should be worried about the Tribunal and presses the DUMMY button a lot. The Tribunal comes out for the big brawl and Bram attacks Drake from behind as we go to a commercial.

Eli Drake/Decay/Tribunal vs. Mahabali Shera/Grado/BroMans/Bram

Shera works on Drake’s arm to start and Eli bails from Bram in a hurry. Abyss comes in and hammers away on Bram before Steve bites his forehead. It’s off to Robbie for a beating from Steve and then another one from Baron Dax as Al Snow continues blowing his whistle. He’s a coach now you see. Basile chinlocks Robbie for a good while but Robbie gets up and brings in Robbie.

A quick BroDown drops Steve but Abyss makes the save as everything breaks down. Robbie gets in a nice dive before Bram starts cleaning house with knees and clotheslines. Grado gets in a Bionic Elbow on Drake but a frog splash only gets two. The referee is distracted though so Drake hits Grado low and does that knee lift/clothesline combo for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: D+. Just too much going on here and nothing had a chance to focus. You had three feuds in one here and that’s a little too much at once. The Tribunal vs. Grado/Shera is one of the weakest feuds in a long time because it revolves around Al Snow. Bram vs. Drake could be good but it’s really not a feud that has any steam going into Sunday. The BroMans are as added on of a set of challengers as I’ve seen in a good while.

Gail Kim does her basic promo about how she wants to show Maria how serious this is. Ethan Carter III talks about how he wants to use the sword of redemption on Bennett this Sunday.

Lashley isn’t pleased with Matt getting a title shot tonight and promises to make sure things go right tonight. Matt says the title is his and Lashley just needs to understand that.

We see Ethan Carter III and Mike Bennett having a weigh-in. A fight broke out of course.

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III vs. Maria Kanellis/Mike Bennett

Not so fast yet as Maria is going to have Allie take her place. Allie screeches a lot until Ethan actually begs her to stop. Gail comes in to run Allie over but Maria trips her up to give Allie an opening. A double faceplant drops both women though and it’s a double tag to bring in the guys. The 1%er is broken up but Bennett is sent to the floor. Allie goes after Ethan to no avail so the guys run up the ramp. Back inside and Eat Defeat is broken up but Allie’s brainbuster is countered into a small package to give Gail the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. Nothing to this one but they’re very wise to have Maria not wrestle as it’s really not her strong suit. Allie is in a weird place as she’s certainly talented in the ring but she’s playing a character who doesn’t have much of a wrestling background. The dynamic is working but Maria is going to have to wrestle at some point.

Post match Sienna runs in and Gail gets a Conchairto on her leg.

Willow hijacks a feed. Great.

X-Division Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Shane Helms in his corner. Eddie starts the fight on the floor but a Helms distraction lets Trevor stomp him down. A comeback is cut off by another distraction and Trevor stomps away again. Trevor’s atomic drop doesn’t do much as Eddie sends him outside for a plancha followed by a suicide dive.

Back in and Lee uppercuts him in the back of the head before a lifting German suplex gets two. Cue Andrew Everett for a distraction but Lee’s jumping knee only gets two. DJZ comes out for a save but Helms hits Eddie in the head with the title belt to give Lee the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C+. The match was a good technical display but how far have they buried this title? There’s no mention of a title match on Sunday but I’m sure we’ll get some big multi-man match because that’s what the thing is all about. Well at least when they have time to feature the thing between the same people getting four segments a show.

Lashley comes up to Galloway and says he hopes Drew keeps the title tonight. Galloway talks about making Kurt Angle tap out so he’s ready for Lashley.

Gail Kim’s knee is hurt. Uh, thanks as I wouldn’t have gotten that otherwise.

Braxton Sutter vs. Billy Callis

Callis powers him down in to the corner to start but Sutter punches him back. A few kicks to the ribs set up a jumping Downward Spiral to pin Callis at 2:10. Sutter looks good but the name sucks.

Sutter says he’s worked hard to get here and he’s going to take over. That’s no BS.

Willow talks about Jeff Hardy’s war with Matt.

Ethan gives a fired up promo about the showdown with Bennett on Sunday.

We run down the Slammiversary card with Trevor Lee defending the X-Division Title against Andrew Everett, DJZ and Eddie Edwards added. Well that was obvious.

Video on Galloway vs. Lashley.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. Josh isn’t sure if Matt vs. Jeff will be happening because no one has seen Jeff, though we’ve seen Willow. They quickly head outside with Drew catching a charging Matt and tilt-a-whirl slamming him on the apron. A Side Effect onto the steps puts Matt in control though and a neckbreaker gets two back inside.

Matt bites the champ’s forehead and puts on his guillotine choke. Drew flips him over for the break and it’s time for some chops to make Matt’s chest red. The Celtic Cross drops Matt but he counters a superplex attempt, only to have Drew lift himself up and throw Matt off the top. The Claymore is loaded up but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 6:15.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but again you knew the ending before they even started. Lashley vs. Galloway is a good enough feud but this company is all about the Hardys and everyone knows it. Lashley basically said he was going to interfere here and that’s not the way you want things to go, especially in a big match like this designed to make you want to buy a pay per view.

Post match Galloway and Lashley fight to the back and the lights go out. They come back on and most of the fans (at least in the lower arena) are wearing Willow masks. Cue a bunch of Willows on the stage when the real Willow appears on screen to say Jeff will be free on Sunday to end Matt once and for all. Here’s Jeff to come out and stare at Matt, who is shocked by this for some reason. They brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Why does this company have to do some good stuff to give me hope for their post Slammiversary stretch? The World Title feud and Bennett vs. Carter are both good but sweet goodness that Hardy vs. Hardy feud is death. It’s a rare situation where all you can do is look at it and pretty much be in awe because there’s nothing that needs to be said about it. Yeah the match is probably going to be a spectacle because both guys are insane but the story building up to it is pure dreadful.

The rest of the show felt crammed together but that’s TNA: focus on one or two things and if there’s time for the rest, those stories are just lucky to get the consideration they receive. Slammiversary is going to be a very up and down show that I’m really not looking forward to but there are parts that could be quite good.

Results

Sienna b. Madison Rayne – AK-47

Decay/Eli Drake/Tribunal b. BroMans/Bram/Grado/Mahabali Shera – Clothesline to Grado

Gail Kim/Ethan Carter III b. Mike Bennett/Allie – Small package to Allie

Trevor Lee b. Eddie Edwards – Pin after Shane Helms hit Edwards with the X-Division Title

Braxton Sutter b. Billy Callis – Jumping Downward Spiral

Drew Galloway b. Matt Hardy via DQ when Lashley interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – May 31, 2016: We Bathe In Matt’s Brilliance

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 31, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and the card is set for the most part. After last wee’s Hardy centric episode, tonight is about the World Title as Lashley and Drew Galloway get to choose each other’s opponents in a Pick Your Poison series. Other than that it should be interesting to see what gets some focus heading into the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, mainly focusing on Matt Hardy.

Dixie Carter is putting a mystery man in charge tonight.

Here are Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis (hokey smoke) to open things up. Mike knows that he’s not in charge because he didn’t hear from Dixie on AOL Instant Messenger or MySpace so he wants the boss to get out here right now. Of course it’s Ethan Carter III and Bennett freezes. Ethan thinks Mike should have the night off tonight and Bennett doesn’t seem to mind.

Actually what Ethan meant was a night off from wrestling because Mike will be cleaning the toilets all night. Maria freaks out but Ethan tells her to put a sock in it. Apparently she’s gotten on management’s nerves so tonight Ethan is reviewing her decisions to see if she’s fired. Bennett threatens violence but Ethan throws them out anyway. Now it’s time for Lashley, who teases a fight with Ethan but just wants to talk about Pick Your Poison with Drew Galloway. This brings out Galloway as we take a break.

We come back to see Ethan showing Mike the toilets he’s in charge of and apparently there’s quite the stench.

Back in the arena, Drew introduces Lashley’s opponent.

Bram vs. Lashley

Non-title. Bram hammers away to start but Lashley pounds him down and takes it to the floor with Bram being sent into the barricade. Lashley takes too much time messing with his headband though and Bram comes back with a few shots to the face. The Brighter Side of Suffering is broken up so Lashley catches him with a spinebuster. Some clotheslines look to set up the spear but instead Lashley heads outside for a chair and that’s a DQ at 6:19.

Rating: D+. This is a match that could have been something interesting but instead it’s a champion looking like a second rate loser. Bram is someone who could be an important talent going forward but why go with that when you can push someone else in his place? At least it wasn’t a clean pin though.

Post match Lashley spears Bram a few times until Galloway comes out for the save with a chair. Cue Eli Drake with his briefcase and you know what’s going on.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake

Bram is defending and kicks out at two at the bell. They slug it out in the corner until Drake hits a knee to the face and clothesline for the pin and the title at 1:01.

Raquel’s latest lesson to the BroMans is to focus, which in this case means watching her walk around the pool in a swimsuit.

Mike Bennett is still cleaning toilets when Earl Hebner walks out of a stall. After a bit of swearing, Bennett is now a referee.

Drake drinks champagne and abuses people backstage.

We go to the Hardy Family Estate where Matt has invited Jeff for the contract signing.

BroMans vs. Tyrus/Rockstar Spud

Bennett is referee and the winners here get a title shot at Slammiversary. Robbie punches Spud to start and it’s off to Tyrus without a tag but Bennett says it’s fine. Jesse gets beaten down by both villains as the announcers talk about how Tyrus and Spud have nothing to do without Matt Hardy being around. A Raquel distraction lets Jesse come in and beat up Spud, setting up the BroDown. The Adonis Lock makes Spud tap at 4:03.

Rating: D+. I can’t imagine they give the BroMans the titles at Slammiversary, even with the good looking manager. Tyrus and Spud being all depressed without Matt around is a really stupid story and doesn’t fit Tyrus whatsoever, but that’s never been a major issue for TNA so I doubt it’s going to change here.

Maria, in a different outfit, is on the phone with Billy Corgan about how Ethan is screwing this place up. Ethan comes up and hangs up the phone. They’re about to head to the ring where he’ll settle this whole ordeal between Gail and Maria.

Clip of Jeff Hardy driving his motorcycle to Matt’s estate.

Ethan is in the ring as Maria, Allie and Sienna come down. The other two (Girl A and Girl B according to Ethan) are asked to leave as Ethan brings Gail Kim down. The result is going to be a match between the two of them at Slammiversary, which is what Gail has wanted from the beginning. As for tonight though, Gail has a partner and since Maria has two women on her team, we’ll have a tag match right now.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Sienna/Allie

Allie screeches a lot as Gail and Sienna slug it out to start. A shot from Allie lets Sienna take over as the screeching continues. Sienna and Allie hit a double slam on Gail for two before it’s off to Jade to kick Sienna down. A missile dropkick gets two on Sienna but Allie tags herself in and tries to talk her way out of getting beaten up. That earns her forearms and a kick to the head as Sienna comes back in, only to Eats Defeat, followed by Jade package piledriving Allie in the face for the pin at 5:17.

Rating: D. Allie’s screaming is a big detraction here but this continues the theme of “let’s have good looking women on the show.” I know the Knockouts are a big deal but tonight has been a lot more about making the women into eye candy, with Allie’s short skirt here being a prime example.

We go back to the estate where Matt is playing the piano when Jeff comes in. Matt talks about this place being their genesis and walks away.

Back in the arena, Bennett freaks out on Ethan because he’s not a janitor or a referee. Bennett: “And my wife isn’t a wrestler.” Ethan gives him a match tonight and hopefully his opponent is sober.

James Storm vs. Mike Bennett

Joined in progress with Bennett in street clothes and getting two off a clothesline. We’re already off to a chinlock for a bit before Storm makes his comeback with right hands and clotheslines. Storm hits the Eye of the Storm and looks to set up the Last Call but Maria distracts him with a beer. Somehow this works on a former World Champion and a slap to the face lets Bennett grab a rollup for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and since there was no real reason for them to be fighting it was a pretty worthless six minutes. It also doesn’t help that a former World Champion is easily pinned by a slap and rollup but they had to come up with some way out of this for Bennett.

Post match Ethan says he’s coming for Bennett at Slammiversary.

Here’s Al Snow to a BORING chant to talk about how he’s looking for talent over in England. This brings out Baron Dax and Basile Baraka (Marcus Louis and Sylvester LeFort), now collectively known as the Tribunal. Both of them talk about how they’re bringing talent and class back to wrestling. Snow yells about wanting to get rid of weapons unlike Grado, who he beat with a single wrestling move last week.

We see him pinning Grado after a Snow Plow, but here are Grado and Mahabali Shera to show us the full footage, including Snow using a trashcan lid. Snow goes off about how kids these days can doctor footage on any computer. Somehow parents are brought into this and Snow says Shera’s mom loves him. The fight is on and Snow hits Grado and Shera with a chair so the beatdown can be on.

Braxton Sutter (Pepper Parks) talks about how most people get their big break earlier but the day he was offered a contract was one of the best days of his life. He doesn’t have a story of when he started watching wrestling because it’s always been there for him. His goal is to be World Heavyweight Champion and he’ll start anywhere. This was a serious speech but had some emotion to it in a nice moment.

We run down the pay per view card.

Back to the Hardy estate where Matt says this must all end where it began. Jeff follows him into a barn where there’s a ring set up. Josh says stay tuned to find out if the match was signed. I’m sure that’s why they just advertised it on the pay per view rundown.

Lashley comes out to announce Drew’s opponent.

Drew Galloway vs. Decay

As in all three members. Drew fights both men at the same time but can’t bring himself to punch Rosemary. That allows the numbers game to take over with Drew being sent to the floor for a big beatdown, including a whip head first into the post. Back inside and the guys take turns hitting Drew in the face until Galloway starts his comeback. Rosemary comes in and almost eats the Futureshock. The Claymore is caught in a chokeslam for two so it’s Janice time. Cue Lashley to spear Abyss by mistake, allowing Galloway to Claymore and Futureshock Steve for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. So Decay is off TV for weeks and then comes back to get beaten in a handicap match? No it wasn’t clean but you couldn’t drag out any two heels for this to work? Or have Lashley knock/choke Drew out for the pin? No apparently the best they have is Drew going over all of them at once because that’s how TNA thinks.

Enough of the World Title though as it’s time to go back to the Hardys. Matt says this must end where it all began, which apparently is the ring in the barn. Jeff goes to get in but Matt rolls outside to a small table. Jeff wants this to end but here’s Reby to throw a fake baby at him. Matt hits Jeff with something made of glass and gives him a Side Effect (IN FREAKING SLOW MOTION) through the table. Matt promises that this will end at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: D. While still not good, this was WAY better than last week as they actually didn’t focus on just Matt vs. Jeff. This week it was about all three big stories but unfortunately we now have to sit around and watch Matt praise his own brilliance or whatever it is that he’s doing now because no one in TNA will ever tell him no. The rest of the show was more watchable due to more wrestling and less stupid talking but it still was a pretty boring show as TNA runs through what could have been weeks of stories in a night because they don’t have the roster to make anything else work.

Results

Bram b. Lashley via DQ when Lashley used a chair

Eli Drake b. Bram – Clothesline

BroMans b. Rockstar Spud/Tyrus – Adonis Lock to Spud

Gail Kim/Jade b. Sienna/Allie – Package piledriver to Allie

Mike Bennett b. James Storm – Rollup

Drew Galloway b. Decay – Futureshock to Steve

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Impact Wrestling – May 17, 2016: It’s A Hardy Thing

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re getting closer to Slammiversary and one of the big questions coming out of last week is who is behind the Willow mask. Someone attacked Jeff Hardy last week while dressed as Jeff’s old alter ego in an attempt to take him out for good. Presumably this is the same person who sent Decay after Jeff two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley attacking Drew Galloway a few weeks back. They fight for the World Title tonight but a fight broke out in the empty arena as they arrived earlier.

Here’s Willow to get things going. Josh: “The creation of the imagination of the mind of Jeff Hardy.” After the announcers talk about how Willow has come to life, he cackles about how he’s finally free. Cue Jeff Hardy to ask if Willow loves or hates before hammering away on him.

Jeff Hardy vs. Willow

Some right hands stagger Willow but he comes back with a Twist of Hate. The Twist of Fate puts Willow away at 39 seconds.

Jeff goes for the mask but here’s a bigger (though only average size) Willow to attack Jeff with the umbrella. A third Willow, clearly bigger than the other two, comes down the ramp to say something about giving Jeff his worst nightmare (the audio was very hard to understand).

Post break, Willow takes his mask off to reveal Matt Hardy. Matt talks about how Nero (Jeff’s middle name) got over because of Matt’s genius. A few weeks back, Jeff didn’t finish the job when he took Matt out so now it’s time to put Matt through his own personal nightmare. Matt chokes him out again and we’re finally done. If Matt being Willow surprised you in any way, shape or form, you haven’t been paying attention.

Velvet Sky is in the back where she was supposed to meet Maria. Instead there’s a newcomer named Allie, who is Maria’s bubbly new personal assistant (played by indy wrestler Cherry Bomb). Apparently Velvet is facing Sienna tonight and if she loses she’s fired.

Dixie Carter makes the World Title match a lumberjack match.

Velvet Sky vs. Sienna

Sienna rolls her up for a quick near fall before beating her into the corner. Velvet gets the same result off the same move before a running neckbreaker gives her another near fall. Not that it matters as Sienna puts Velvet on her shoulders for the spinning faceplant and the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. Well uh, see you Velvet. That was quite the unceremonial ending to her TNA run as this was nothing more than a squash. Sienna is a good monster heel for Maria to hide behind and we’ve already gotten to the point of her character, which is about as simple of an idea as it needs to be. Nothing match here.

Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis are sitting by their pool with Maria getting up and diving in for a swim. After the very gratuitous shots of her, she sits back down with Mike talking about how he wants to be the best of all time in TNA. Maria is going to get some sun and then they’re going to head to the Impact Zone.

Here are Mike and Maria in the ring for a chat. Mike talks about how Ethan Carter III needs his road to redemption and if he loses once, there’s no rematch. Tonight, Ethan has an opponent who has been around the world and is very well known for his black and white. Therefore, get out here EARL HEBNER! Earl comes out and Mike wants to fight him tonight, Hall of Famer vs. future Hall of Famer. Another referee comes out and Mike begs Earl to fight him, eventually getting himself a punch to the face. The bell rings.

Mike Bennett vs. Earl Hebner

One punch drops Earl and Mike takes his shirt off…..for a two count. Yes Earl actually kicked out and for some reason it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen on TNA in months. Earl hits the worst low blow in years but Maria goes after him. Earl actually takes his shirt off, earning himself a boot to the face for the pin at 1:49. I really shouldn’t be laughing at this but it was HILARIOUS.

Post match Ethan Carter III runs out for the save but Mike has an opponent for him. That would be Tyrus, who attacks Ethan from behind, kicking off a last man standing match.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Last man standing and joined in progress with Tyrus holding a nerve hold. Tyrus goes outside to get a chair but makes the mistake of wedging it in the corner, which means he goes head first into it instead. A trio of Stinger Splashes in the corner don’t do much damage to Tyrus so Ethan avoids a splash in the corner, setting up a high cross body. Carter hits him in the back with a chair for a nine so it’s time to set up two chairs.

Tyrus suplexes him through them for a close call and it’s table time. Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb and only hits table but still gets up. Ethan grabs a chair but gets sent flying off a suplex. A spike to the neck sends Carter to the floor for an eight and a Big Ending on the ramp gets nine. With nothing else working, Ethan grabs a piece of the barricade but Carter elbows him in the head and drops Tyrus onto the barricade. Ethan puts the steps on him and then beats the steps with a chair for the win at 10:48.

Rating: B-. This was more entertaining than I was expecting as they didn’t bother wasting time with wrestling and just started beating on each other with metal objects. Carter winning was the obvious way to go but hopefully this ends things with him and Tyrus. I know there’s some value in Tyrus as a heavy but he’s really not working as a wrestler, which to be fair is almost always the case with him.

Mike Bennett comes out and looks at Ethan.

Lashley training video.

Jeff Hardy says Matt took his own creation and promises to finish this at Slammiversary.

Eddie Edwards/DJZ vs. Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee

It’s all over the place to start until we settle down to DJZ sending Everett into the corner. A chase on the floor ends with Lee kicking DJZ in the face to take over with a near fall inside. It’s off to Edwards as things break down with Eddie’s Backpack Stunner getting two on Everett. Andrew’s moonsault hits a raised boot and Eddie takes the champ down on the floor, leaving DJZ to hit a jumping DDT for the pin on Everett at 5:13.

Rating: C. The match was fine, albeit completely meaningless. That’s the problem with this division: it’s here one week and then back a few weeks later with one vague story of Helms creating a stable and Edwards fighting against it but there’s very little to care about. The champion has taken a big backseat to Helms and if Helms never wrestles, it’s a big waste of time.

Galloway training video.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake. After calling some people dummies, Drake says he can change the world with this Feast or Fired briefcase. This brings him to his guest tonight, the future former King of the Mountain Champion, Bram. The champ says the briefcase may be dangerous but Drake himself isn’t. That earns him a DUMMY, YEAH as Drake talks about how he’s going to win the title one way or another so Bram could just hand him the title right now. Bram thinks he should just rip out Drake’s throat so Eli leaves. Bram questions Drake’s manhood and a fight breaks out with Bram standing tall.

Ethan wants his match with Bennett tonight but Bennett says there’s one more match for Ethan first. That would be against Matt Hardy next week and Matt is a lot more nuts than when he took the title from Carter in the first place.

TNA World Title: Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging and this is a lumberjack match. They lock up to start with Lashley taking him into the corner until a big boot puts Lashley down. The spear out of nowhere sends Drew outside though and we take a break. Back with Galloway being sent out to the floor before Lashley suplexes him again.

We hit a quickly broken chinlock before Drew starts slugging away, followed by a neckbreaker for a breather. A top rope clothesline drops Lashley but the Future Shock is broken up. Something like a chokeslam gets two for Lashley but Drew grabs the Celtic Cross. The Claymore is loaded up but the lumberjacks pull Drew outside for the DQ at 11:53.

Rating: C+. The match was fun while it lasted but it was clearly just a way to set up a rematch at Slammiversary. You could tell they were going for something screwy as soon as they put the lumberjacks out there and that makes for a less than thrilling main event. Drew vs. Lashley is a good enough match but the story is only hit or miss.

Post match the lumberjacks fight with DJZ hitting a dive to take out a bunch of them. Trevor Lee does the same thing before Eddie Edwards superplexes Everett onto the pile. Bram knees Lashley but Drake hits him in the back with the briefcase. Cue Jeff Hardy to take Eli down but Matt breaks up the Swanton. Bennett throws Drake to the floor but here’s Carter to chase him off, only to eat a spear. Drew gives Lashley the Claymore and flips onto the lumberjacks to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The ending was good but so much of this show felt like it was just sitting around waiting on the Hardys to do more stuff. Matt vs. Jeff is really dragging down what is an otherwise rapidly improving show with some feuds that make me want to see more of the show. The problem is Matt vs. Jeff is by far the biggest story going on and it wouldn’t shock me if they main evented the pay per view. There’s good stuff here but TNA’s standard problems keep holding it back.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Willow – Twist of Fate

Sienna b. Velvet Sky – Spinning faceplant

Mike Bennett b. Earl Hebner – Big boot

Ethan Carter III b. Tyrus when Tyrus couldn’t answer the ten count

DJZ/Eddie Edwards b. Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Jumping DDT to Everett

Drew Galloway b. Lashley via DQ when the lumberjacks interfered

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Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2016: Shut Up Already

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

For the first time in a long time, we’re coming up on a pay per view with Slammiversary airing in June. The big stories at the moment are Drew Galloway wanting to fight Lashley, probably in the pay per view main event, and Mike Bennett being the first man to defeat Ethan Carter III which likely sets up a rematch at Slammiversary as well. Now take all of that and forget most of it because it’s time to put the focus back on the Hardy Boyz. Let’s get to it.

Earlier today, Lashley attacked Drew Galloway at the gym and beat the champ down. They wound up in an MMA cage and Lashley knocked him down with one punch but couldn’t choke him out. Eventually some other wrestlers broke it up.

We look at Bennett pinning Carter last week.

Mike and Maria come out with the former bragging about being the one man to finally pull something off that no one else ever could last week. No one in the back can beat him and now he deserves to be World Champion. This brings out Jeff Hardy because of course it does, though at least it’s not so he can yell at Matt. Jeff doesn’t think much of Bennett beating Carter because it just makes him a joke. The fans say Jeff is better and a match is pitched for later tonight. Bennett says he’ll go ask Dixie but Jeff cleans house, prompting Mike to say we’ll do it.

Mike Bennett vs. Jeff Hardy

Joined in progress with Bennett slapping on a chinlock. Jeff fights back with an atomic drop and the legdrop between the legs but here’s Lashley to spear Jeff for the DQ at 1:48.

Bennett gets speared as well because Lashley is going to run through the entire roster until Dixie Carter gives him what he wants. Here’s Dixie who is indignant that Lashley wants to be handed a title shot. She makes Hardy vs. Bennett vs. Lashley for the #1 contendership as tonight’s main event with Drew as guest referee.

Rosemary asks Crazzy Steve is he’s ready for his transformation. He certainly is so she spits something into his mouth. Abyss takes off his mask and gets the same treatment. The stuff seems to burn both of their faces.

Here’s Decay for a chat. Rosemary talks about the team taking the titles from the people’s heroes last week and their transformations. Steve can now speak and talks about how Rosemary has changed him. Rosemary talks about how many people have tried to control Abyss, including his father and brother. Now though he can show his true self, which means he wears paint instead of a mask. Abyss says he’s beautiful and the fans seem to agree. Cue James Storm to say he’s a cowboy who drinks a lot of beer. It’s time for a fight and Decay is quickly dispatched. We’re not done yet though as Storm wants Abyss right now.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Joined in progress as well with Storm getting in a baseball slide to take the brawl outside. Rosemary and Steve go after Storm but neither draws a DQ, likely because of plot convenience. Storm fights back inside with his shots to the face and a bulldog for two. Abyss gets the same off a chokeslam but Storm puts him back down with a Sling Blade, setting up a top rope elbow for another near fall. Steve’s mist doesn’t work but Abyss’ blinds Storm so the Black Hole Slam can put him away at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This was what you would expect and the right ending with Abyss getting a win to confirm the Decay’s new power. I’m starting to like the stuff they’re going with after a long time of feeling like they were just another goth gimmick. If nothing else it’s actually getting more mileage out of Abyss which continues to astound me.

Maria wants Dixie to look at some papers. Jade better be smarter than Gail Kim was.

Jeff Hardy is more concerned about winning the title tonight than Matt.

Here’s Maria to call out Jade for a chat. Maria sees Jade’s star on the rise but thinks she needs to just hand over the title now because Jade wouldn’t be anywhere without her. Jade says no so Maria brings out her friend Sienna to fight the champ. Sienna throws her around to start but Jade gets in a few kicks. They head outside with Jade being sent hard into the steps. Back inside and Sienna gives her something like a spinning Big Ending to leave Jade laying.

Bram says he’s been called a lot of things and now he’s being called champion.

And now, in case you haven’t heard enough talking yet, we have a sitdown interview with Ethan Carter III. Well at least we would if he was here but Bennett comes in to say that Ethan is missing because he’s scared. Tonight he’ll get his title shot no matter what.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake vs. Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Jesse Godderz

Bram is defending in a King of the Mountain match, meaning you have to get a pin to become eligible to hang the title. If you pin someone, they’re sent to a penalty box for a minute so there’s some strategy involved. Jesse and Eli trade rollups to start as Everett hides on the floor with Shane Helms. Bram plants Everett with a powerbomb for the pin to become eligible early on.

Eddie grabs a half crab on Drake but Everett breaks it up for no logical reason. Edwards sends him out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Drake get in a cheap shot from behind for a rollup and pin to become eligible. Bram sets up a ladder and gets the belt but Jesse dropkicks him down. Drake slams Jesse but the champ comes back in for a Cactus Clothesline.

Everett misses a moonsault and gets caught in the Adonis Lock for a quick submission to make Jesse eligible. Edwards and Everett brawl to the back to leave us with three people. Godderz goes up but Drake pulls him down and hits him in the head with the Feast or Fired briefcase. He takes too long going up though and it’s Bram dropkicking the ladder down, allowing him to hang the title to retain at 7:25.

Rating: D+. I’m just not a fan of these matches and this didn’t change anything. It’s four guys getting title shots for no logical reason and this week the title is defended in a King of the Mountain match after last week’s title change was in a regular match. Just call the thing the TV Title and get rid of this stupid gimmick already because it’s way more complicated than it needs to be.

Drake tries to cash in post match but Bram gets up and chases him off.

Galloway says he’s had a rough day so he’d love to see Lashley try to put his hands on him.

Matt Hardy sits in the shadows and accuses Jeff of trying to remove him from this dimension. Their war isn’t done.

Before the main event, Ethan Carter III comes out to congratulate Bennett on the win. Carter isn’t like the rest of those people who lost to him over the years and then came out here to complain about it. He accepts this loss but it’s changed him. Bennett needs to go and win that World Title because he wants to take the title back from Mike one day. Carter rants about how the loss made him incomplete and kept him from becoming the best wrestler on the planet. He’ll be back for Bennett soon enough.

Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

For the #1 contendership with champion Drew Galloway as guest referee. Drew promises to call this down the middle and we’re finally ready to go. It’s a slow start with both guys going after Lashley who easily powers them away. The big guy is sent outside though and Jeff takes them both out with a Whisper in the Wind as we go to a break.

Back with Jeff still fighting off both guys but eating a powerslam from Lashley. A long delayed vertical suplex, complete with a point to Galloway, plants Bennett. The spear hits Galloway though, followed by Bennett hitting the cutter on Lashley. Jeff dropkicks Bennett to the floor and adds the Swanton on Lashley for no count.

Bennett is sent face first into the steps over and over, followed by a Swanton onto Bennett on the steps. Cue the Decay for no apparent reason to go after Hardy, including a chokeslam onto the steps. Decay leaves so Lashley spears Jeff into the post for a great looking crash. Another spear gives Lashley the pin and the title shot at 14:02.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough at times and I’ll take Decay vs. Jeff over Hardy vs. Hardy any day. Lashley was the obvious winner here and that’s fine but this needed more time instead to really get good. If you take out the commercial and the Decay interference, this was under ten minutes long and that’s really not enough for a big epic match.

Lashley and Drew brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as they didn’t even have thirty minutes of wrestling in a two hour show. There was just WAY too much talking on here and even though there was some good stuff built up, you have to actually have something in there instead of just setting up stuff for six weeks from now. I wasn’t feeling this one and the pacing issues really need to be fixed, including less than eight minutes of wrestling in the first seventy five minutes of a show. Big miss this week and that’s not a good sign on the first show of a new taping cycle.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Mike Bennett via DQ when Lashley interfered

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Bram b. Eli Drake, Andrew Everett, Eddie Edwards and Jesse Godderz – Bram hung the title

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy and Mike Bennett – Spear to Hardy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – April 26, 2016: Another Tuesday Sacrificed

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 26, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s another one of those big TV specials (Sacrifice in this case) for TNA with a main event of Tyrus challenging Drew Galloway for the TNA World Title. Other than that we have Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett in a No DQ match and Beer Money defending the Tag Team Titles against Decay in a Valley of Shadows match. Let’s get to it.

Tyrus and Rockstar Spud are in the ring to start with Tyrus talking about how Drew Galloway has promised to defend the title against him no matter what condition he’s in. Here’s Drew and we’re ready to go.

TNA World Title: Tyrus vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending and has bad ribs coming in. Tyrus does the smart thing to start and sends Drew to the floor for some kicks from Spud. Some chops knock Tyrus back but the big man goes right back after the ribs to take over. A double legdrop to the ribs gets two but Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb. With the tape ripped off, Drew comes off the top with a chop to the head and (doesn’t) plant Tyrus with a horrible bulldog.

Spud gets dragged in and suplexed for his efforts, followed by a Claymore for two on Tyrus because this match MUST continue. A World’s Strongest Slam puts Drew down so Tyrus goes up, only to get caught with a right hand to the face. Drew gets two more off a superplex before the Futureshock puts Tyrus away at 7:55.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t even bad but it felt like it went on forever because only TNA thinks Tyrus is even the slightest bit interesting. Thankfully this gets rid of Tyrus as anything of importance and lets us move past the brilliant idea to have him win a World Title shot at the biggest show of the year.

We recap last week’s main event with Jeff Hardy hitting a Swanton off the set to knock out both guys.

Maria has plans for the Knockouts division.

Beer Money doesn’t care what the Valley of Shadows is because this is all about their legacy with the titles.

Maria is here to talk about rebuilding the Knockouts division through a revolution. Yeah they’re not even hiding the ripoff here. Cue Gail Kim to say Maria is ruining everything that has been built and to accuse Maria of having Rosemary kidnap her last week. Maria threatens her with her power and makes Gail vs. Rosemary. If this is really supposed to lead to Gail vs. Maria, they’re even more delusional than they thought.

Gail Kim vs. Rosemary

Rosemary has Crazzy Steve with her. It’s a brawl to start with Gail being sent outside and into the post. Back in and Rosemary puts on a full nelson with her legs. Gail easily gets out and puts on the figure four around the post, followed by a twisting top rope cross body for two. A Scorpion Death Drop gets two for Gail but Steve pulls her to the floor. This brings out Maria for a distraction, allowing Rosemary to mist Gail, followed by an F5 for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: D+. If there’s a point to this story coming that isn’t Gail vs. Maria coming anytime soon, I’d love for them to get to it already. The problem here is we’ve covered so much of Gail over the years that it’s really hard to get fired up about her again. In other words: GIVE US SOMETHING NEW ALREADY.

Here’s Eli Drake for Fact of Life where the mission is to name all the dummies. Like for instance Jeff Hardy, who dove off a scaffold to prove that he’s extreme. Or like Drew Galloway, who thinks having a belt makes him a big deal. Drake has a button to press after every name that says DUMMY, YEAH. His guests tonight are the BroMans, who are now wearing glasses.

Unfortunately they have no lenses so Drake thinks they’re dummies. Jesse had the chance to ride Eli’s coattails but decided to get back together with this waste of space like Robbie E. Jesse brings up the loss to Grado so Drake gets in his face and calls him every name he can think of, capped off by, of course, dummy. The BroMans quickly dispatch him and make fun of Drake’s catchphrase. As usual, Drake has a great presence to him and was one of the bright spots on the show.

Decay is ready for their Tag Team Title shot.

Ethan Carter III says he isn’t perfect because he’s no longer the World Champion. He’s on his way back though through revenge and that starts tonight with Mike Bennett.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. Decay

Decay is challenging in a Valley of Shadows match, which means anything goes. I’m assuming at least as there’s no explanation before the match. There are weapons everywhere and the lights are dimmer than usual. The champs control to start but are quickly pulled to the floor to keep up the brawl. Of course the lighting makes it difficult to see what’s going on but that might be best all around.

Pope tells us that this is No DQ and Josh throws in that it’s no countout, which you could tell on your own, furthering the theory that TNA announcers are entirely worthless. Decay takes over with Abyss throwing a bunch of weapons into the ring to continue the beating on the champs. Apparently Rosemary interfered at one point but the announcers couldn’t see what she did because of the lighting. A Rocket Launcher is broken up and Roode catapults Steve into a DDT from Storm. Abyss eats a spinebuster from Roode and a top rope elbow from Storm gets two.

We take a break and come back with Abyss bringing in the barbed wire board because this is yet another name for Monster’s Ball. The double suplex puts Steve onto the barbed wire but Abyss breaks up the name shouting. Now it’s thumbtacks because, again, this is Monster’s Ball. Rosemary comes in and mists Abyss by mistake, earning him a beer bottle to the head for two. Steve shoves Storm off the top and through a table, followed by a low blow to Roode. The chokeslam onto the tacks gives Decay the titles at 15:33.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. I know Roode is leaving and the team is done so Decay getting the belts makes more than enough sense but I’ve seen Abyss doing this match with this exact same set of spots so many times that it’s really hard to care anymore. Overall the match was fine but there’s no connection to it, which is the case for so many things in TNA.

We look back at Eric Young cutting off Bram’s beard last week.

Bram, still with a huge beard, says he’s ticked off and wants to end Young tonight.

Mike Bennett talks about how much his debut has changed things for Ethan Carter. No one has pinned him either so tonight the streak comes to an end.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eric Young

Young is defending and they go at it from the bell. This is also falls count anywhere because we haven’t just gotten done with a hardcore style match. Bram backdrops him for two but the Brighter Side of Suffering off the apron is countered with a grab of the beard. Young pulls out a trashcan lid but opts for a low blow instead. A DDT plants Bram and there’s a trashcan lid shot for good measure. Young bites the face to break up a superplex attempt and drops the top rope elbow for two. The piledriver through a table is countered into the Brighter Side of Suffering through the same table for the pin and the title at 6:29.

Rating: D+. AND STAY OUT YOU RASPY VOICED PEST WITH A STUPID BEARD!!! In case you didn’t know, that was it for Eric Young and I couldn’t be happier. The guy always felt like he was in way too high of a spot and while he did have some moments, I’m so glad to see him finally out of TNA. Bram should have had that title a long time ago with Young being left out but then where would we have been without Young to guide us?

Drew Galloway wants to fight Lashley next week.

Here’s a banged up Jeff Hardy to update us on his condition. Jeff says he did what he did last week because he’s Jeff Hardy and hopefully that put some sense into Matt’s head. This brings out Reby and Spud to yell about how Jeff is selfish for hurting Matt. Reby slaps him a few times until Jeff knocks her hand away. Spud goes after Jeff’s leg and gets a Twist of Fate for his efforts.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Street fight. They get right in each others faces to start and Ethan clotheslines him out to the floor. Bennett grabs a chair but gets backdropped out to the floor for his efforts. Some chops up against the barricade have Bennett in even more trouble and Carter stops a charge in the corner with a raised boot. Mike sends him shoulder first into the post though and the arm is wrapped around the post for good measure.

Ethan starts his comeback but can’t get the 1%er. Instead he settles for two off a jumping Downward Spiral, followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Bennett grabs a quick cutter for two so it’s time to beat the tar out of Carter with a chair. The 1%er connects but Maria comes in to break up the cover. Carter unloads on him with the chair and puts on a cobra clutch, only to have Bennett climb the ropes and flip backwards for the first ever pin on Carter at 11:08.

Rating: B. I’m digging the heck out of this feud and I’m hoping it continues. The key thing here though is that they treated Carter getting pinned as something big and then gave that accolade to someone who could go somewhere with it. Really solid main event here and exactly what this show needed.

Bennett is STUNNED to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a lot but this really didn’t feel like a big show. The name didn’t help things either as this felt more like Hardcore Justice than a run of the mill show like Sacrifice. It doesn’t help that the World Title match had Tyrus involved and then three straight hardcore style matches. The main event was good though and TNA has some potential going forward, even though I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Tyrus – Futureshock

Rosemary b. Gail Kim – F5

Decay b. Beer Money – Chokeslam onto a pile of tacks

Bram b. Eric Young – Brighter Side of Suffering through a table

Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III – Rollup counter to a cobra clutch

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – April 12, 2016: Hardy vs. Hardy To Set Up Hardy vs. Hardy

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Things have picked up a little bit in recent weeks around here after a strong showing last week. The big story continues to be the imminent Tyrus title shot but first we need to get through Matt vs. Jeff, which is still the biggest feud in the promotion despite Drew Galloway being World Champion. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Matt Hardy losing to Drew Galloway last week.

Here’s the Matt Hardy Brand to open things up. Matt insults the fans that paid to see him (even though they don’t charge for tickets) and says every dollar in his bank accounts was built on the Hardy name. However, there’s a ball and chain around his ankle and it’s named Jeff Hardy. Jeff comes out and says the title is bigger than any one of them because it means who is the best in this business.

Matt claims that he’s carried Jeff over the years and has he’s tired of seeing Jeff ruin their name. Therefore, Matt wants Jeff to go off and do his paintings or music or whatever and leave the Hardy name behind forever. Jeff says no to a match over the name (seriously) but the only thing that really scares him is Reby’s crazy genes infecting the family tree. Apparently the fight is on.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money vs. BroMans vs. Decay vs. Eric Young/Bram

Beer Money is defending and this is one fall to a finish. It’s a huge brawl to start with Storm heading outside to ride around on the Boozer Cruiser and hit Bram low. Back in and Bram takes the double suplex which means it’s time for the opening bell. It gets annoying to have all that brawling before the match actually starts with none of it really counting.

Anyway Young works on Roode to start before Abyss tags himself in, only to chokeslam his partner onto Bobby for two. Young comes in again and decks Storm but walks into a backdrop for two. Robbie gets the tag instead and it’s a BroDown to set up the Adonis Lock on Eric with Abyss making the save. Everything breaks down and Robbie dives onto Bram and Steve. Young hits Bram by mistake and it’s the Last Call on Eric to retain the titles at 4:54.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable enough but it was a lot of chaos for the sake of Bram and Young screwing up again. I could go for them just splitting the team and giving Bram the title already as it’s not like there’s much left for the title anyway. Maybe Bram can get a small rub off of it but this isn’t doing him anything. Decay and the BroMans were just window dressing here.

Matt comes up to Jeff and says the match is on for next week but he wants it to be an I Quit match. Jeff has no problem with this but wants a tag match tonight with the stipulations on the line. If Matt and Tyrus win then it’s I Quit. If Jeff and his mystery partner win, it’s Full Metal Mayhem. So now the main event is a Hardy vs. Hardy match to determine the stipulations of the next Hardy vs. Hardy match.

Eddie Edwards has been attacked in the back.

Here’s Maria to say it’s time for the genesis of the new Knockouts division. Maria asks Jade to come out here and hand over the title to its rightful owner. That’s not cool with Jade because the champ calls the shot in the division, but here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. We get the traditional “you have to work for this” thing before Maria laughs at the Knockouts and how they’re all barking at her.

This brings out Rebel and Marti Belle to say they run this place, followed by the Beautiful People with Velvet saying they’re the OG Knockouts. Madison says she knows how to lead, which Velvet doesn’t quite get. Maria thinks the division needs a leader so here’s Billy Corrgan to again explain that he has authority around here. He’s been talking to Dixie and in a week there’s going to be one big match over leadership of the division. For tonight though, Madison gets a title shot. Everyone brawls and Maria leaves.

EC3 doesn’t think Mike Bennett is a miracle but he’s certainly talented. Tonight though, Bennett takes a beating.

Here are Shane Helms and Trevor Lee with something to say. Apparently Lee was going to fight Eddie Edwards but that surprise attack has changed plans. There’s a replacement though.

Trevor Lee vs. DJZ

Non-title for whatever reason. DJZ starts fast and snaps off a headscissors before hitting a big flip dive over the top to take Trevor out. A tornado DDT looks to put Lee away but Shane offers a distraction, allowing Trevor to load up his fisherman’s DDT. DJZ is ready though and grabs a small package for the pin at 2:59.

Post match Edwards runs out to save DJZ from a post match beatdown.

Bennett promises to beat Carter tonight.

Drew Galloway will be Jeff’s partner tonight.

Mike Bennett vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter takes him down and hammers away to start before cranking on the arm for some chops. They head outside with Bennett not being able to suplex him onto the ramp, only to have Carter give him one instead. Back in and Maria rakes the eyes while Bennett chokes on the ropes to give Mike his first real advantage.

Carter fights back but Bennett grabs the ropes to block an Irish whip. A jumping Downward Spiral gets two for Ethan and the TK3 gets the same with Maria having to put Mike’s foot on the rope. Ethan gives chase but walks into a cutter for no cover. Instead Bennett brings in a chair, which Carter takes away and uses on Bennett for the DQ at 7:28.

Rating: C+. This was all about setting up a rematch and there’s nothing wrong with that. Carter and Bennett have some chemistry together and Bennett is going to be a good choice for a main event player, assuming he gets past the whole Miracle thing, which really isn’t working for me. At least the match was good and the rematch should be even better.

We look back at Al Snow beating down Mahabali Shera and Grado two weeks back.

Snow is willing to apologize tonight.

Al Snow is in the ring to talk about what he did two weeks ago and apologize. All he wanted to do was make sure that some young talent paid some dues. Cue Shera to get in Snow’s face and yell about how his friend is in the hospital. Snow says he’s been doing this a long time and it’s all he knows. Back in his day, you had to earn your way in here and that’s what he wanted to happen again.

When he was 19, he was beaten in the back of the head so many times that he went blind in one eye for over an hour. Snow was trying to relive those old days and maybe it was out of jealousy but he’s going to pay for all of Grado’s medical bills. Al agrees to try and do better and offers to mentor Grado and Shera. That’s fine with Shera and they go to leave, only to have Snow send him into the steps over and over. The segment worked well enough but was there NO ONE besides Al Snow that could play this role? No one at all?

Drew is getting ready when Tyrus comes in and suggests that Drew get a bodyguard. Bad things happen to good people and he can have his title shot anytime he wants, which makes him very dangerous.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Madison Rayne

Madison is defending and gets an early two count off a rollup. Jade comes back with a hard shot to the face and something like a reverse DDT for two. A release northern lights suplex gets the same on Madison but she comes back with a kick to the head for a breather. Some hard chops have Jade in trouble and a discus forearm sets up a loud screech. Jade shrugs them off though and avoids a high cross body, followed by an STO to retain at 5:15.

Rating: C. This was fine and that’s all it needed to be. Rayne is a good choice for a first challenge and gets to put Jade over as the new champion. The division and the title both needed a breath of fresh air after Gail’s latest title reign and Jade is different enough to make it work. It wasn’t a great match or anything close to it but it did everything it was supposed to do.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Jeff Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt’s team wins, next week is an I Quit match but if Jeff’s team wins, next week is Full Metal Mayhem. Tyrus and Jeff get things going but things quickly break down with Drew and Jeff cleaning house. Drew isn’t quite Jeff as he tries some Poetry in Motion but it’s enough to have them in control as we take a break. Back with Matt pounding Drew down in the corner, followed by Tyrus stomping on Drew’s hand.

We hit the camel clutch for a bit, followed by a belly to belly for two on the champ. Drew avoids a charge in the corner and it’s a double tag to the brothers Hardy. Jeff beats Matt down with ease and gets two off a backslide. Matt rolls away before the Swanton is launched though so Jeff dives onto Tyrus instead. A quick Claymore drops Tyrus but Reby slips Matt a hammer, which goes upside Jeff’s chin. Somehow this doesn’t kill him so Matt hits a quick Twist of Fate for the pin at 11:54.

Rating: C-. They really need to cut out these screwy endings, even though they had to do something nefarious here to give us the I Quit match. You don’t want the champion losing so Jeff taking the fall is the only option. I get the idea of not wanting it to be clean, but you can’t hold his foot or use the ropes or something? The only option is HIT HIM WITH A HAMMER? There’s no in between?

Post match the losers are in the ring when Lashley comes in for some spears to Galloway.

Overall Rating: C. This was watchable enough but they need to find some more fresh blood in the main event. Matt vs. Jeff over the Hardy name really isn’t enough to make me care about whatever they’re doing. Lashley vs. Galloway for the title is interesting and Bennett vs. Carter should be good. In other words, this would be setting up a good pay per view card but that’s not what they have around here so we’re likely getting a big TV taping instead. Lucky us.

Results

Beer Money b. Decay, BroMans and Eric Young/Bram – Last Call to Young

DJZ b. Trevor Lee – Small package

Mike Bennett b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter used a chair

Jade b. Madison Rayne – STO

Matt Hardy/Tyrus b. Jeff Hardy/Drew Galloway – Twist of Fate to Jeff

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6