TNA One Night Only – Live: Maybe They Should Stick With Taped

Live
Date: January 8, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

So due to the cancellations of the India and Gulf Coast tours (due to “issues”), we get a special live edition of One Night Only. The only good that comes out of this is I don’t have to search for the show for months before I can get it done so two people can read it. At least in this case the stories are current so there might be something important here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick preview of the show, which only has a few matches announced due to the really short turnaround. The big story tonight is the return of Beer Money, who will be facing Bram/Eric Young in a very quickly put together feud.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Mandrews vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Tigre Uno

Elimination rules. Tigre Uno is defending against the same people he’s fought for months now. Mandrews is now a full on Dynamic Dude with a skateboard and backwards hat. Uno is in a big shoulder wrap after his injury at Bound For Glory. It’s a brawl to start as this is under tornado rules. Just what we needed. DJZ is quickly sent outside so everyone else can brawl, including Tigre suplexing Steve for two.

Back in and DJZ gets a good looking dropkick to knock Mandrews outside. Good. Stay out there. Mandrews comes back in for two off a hard hurricanrana to DJZ, leaving Tigre to spinwheel kick Steve in the face. A Tower of Doom is broken up with some kicks, leaving Mandrews to dropkick Tigre out to the floor. The fans are behind Steve here for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Mandrews flips out onto Tigre and swings his legs back inside to trip DJZ. That means it’s time to skateboard down the ramp into a headscissors to send DJZ into Steve. Tigre dives onto all three of them before dropping a top rope seated senton for two on Crazzy. Back up and Steve grabs a crossface chicken wing on Tigre’s bad arm in the middle of the ring. Ever the schnook, Mandrews drops a shooting star on both of them to break the hold and pin Steve.

After the elimination, Steve snaps and puts Tigre in the hold again. So I guess that’s a heel turn? Mandrews misses another shooting star but grabs a rollup to get rid of DJZ. We’re down to one on one and Mandrews goes after Tigre’s bad arm. A belly to back gets two on the champ but Tigre breaks up another shooting star (good), setting up a C4 to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C. This was more fun than their usual matches but can we please get some fresh faces in this division? Tigre is turning into a special X-Division Champion with a long reign but there’s no way he holds the thing until Destination X when people remember the title exists. On the other hand, I have no idea what people see in Mandrews. He’s a skateboard and a ton of shooting star presses. How is that entertaining?

Post match here’s Gregory Helms to stare down Tigre again. Helms implies that time is running out on Tigre’s reign. Fans: “3 COUNT!” Josh: “Gregory Shane Helms is, in my opinion, coming for the X-Division Title!”

Eric Young, now with fresh arm tattoos, says he and Bram are the only news anyone is going to be talking about in the very near future. Beer Money being back makes people happy but Young and Bram are never happy. Young rants about Matt Hardy costing him the World Title.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud does the old Chris Jericho pose by laying against the barricade. After the bell (at least I hope after), Aiden offers Spud a chance to walk out and take the countout instead of a beating. O’Shea keeps calling Spud a mutt as Spud teases leaving, only to come back and flip the big guy off. Aiden pounds him down and keeps talking trash on the mic, shouting that this is a heavyweight division.

The announcers don’t think this is a match because they can’t remember a bell ringing three minutes ago. Spud drives him into the corner but O’Shea shoves him down again. Unfortunately he finds the mic again and talks more trash before pounding in some forearms. Josh throws in a line about Spud being a replacement for Mahabali Shera, whose tires were deflated earlier in the day. Wait it was earlier in the day and he couldn’t get a taxi here? I mean, open a case and do the Shera Shuffle (or is it the Shake?) because IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION!

A backbreaker stuns Spud and Aiden is still talking about how stupid Spud really is. Spud comes back with a baseball slide to knock O’Shea to the floor, followed by a nice dive. O’Shea sends him hard into the barricade and then the announcers’ table, drawing some VERY loud swearing from Spud. Josh: “I guess this was a match.” The referee counting didn’t seem to give Josh the hint. Back in and Spud starts getting fired up, including a double bird and another F bomb. An enziguri and some forearms have O’Shea in trouble, followed by the Underdog for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: D. I’m really not sure what to make of this one. It’s easy to make fun of Josh for not knowing that it was a match because it really wasn’t like a match for a long stretch. Instead it was much more like Aiden cutting a promo and yelling at Spud until we got a quick match. I’ll give them credit for trying something but this mostly missed.

Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway are ready when the Wolves come in. The Wolves came in and said they want a match with the two of them. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz come in to add themselves. This might have been from Tuesday.

We look at Carter winning the title on Tuesday and see his post match victory speech where he basically says he told us so. He’s called himself several things since arriving in TNA including the new game. With this title, he may not be the new game anymore but he’s certainly going to change it.

Robbie E. vs. Mike Bennett

Before the match, Maria comes out and asks if we believe in the Miracle. Robbie goes right after him to start and fires off some right hands to knock Mike out to the floor. A nice dive takes Bennett down, meaning Mike has already taken more offense than he should have already. Robbie tries a hurricanrana on the floor but Mike pulls him up and swings him head first into the barricade to take over.

Back in and a big boot gets two on Robbie before we hit the chinlock. Robbie fights up again but can’t hit the Boom Drop. He can’t hit a high cross body either but the second Boom Drop connects to knock Mike out to the apron. The delay gives me time to realize that Robbie E. wears the same style shorts that Alexa Bliss wears. Back in and Mike hits a quick cutter, followed by a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku driver for the pin at 7:33.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Keep in mind that this was a debut for someone who was supposed to be a top star. Robbie is a solid midcard act but this should have been just a step above a squash. Instead it was a back and forth match with Robbie hitting his finisher. Who in the world thought this was a good way to book someone’s debut? Horrible booking here and it showed very badly.

Post match the finisher is named Divine Intervention. Bennett promises to build a kingdom of miracles.

Gail Kim is happy for the gauntlet match because she won the first Knockouts Title in the same kind of match. Whoever wins is in for a fight. JB goes over some of the people in the match, actually trying to pretend that Kong isn’t going to win. That’s adorable.

Video on the Knockouts, basically giving a quick profile on each. This should have been on Impact.

Gauntlet Match

This is a mini Royal Rumble but it turns into a regular match when we’re down to two with the winner becoming #1 contender. Madison Rayne is in at #1 and Jade is in at #2. They botch a headscissors to start with Jade going down anyway, only to send Madison over the top and out to the apron. It’s way too early for an elimination though and Madison gets back in but misses an enziguri.

Jade gets kicked out of the corner and slapped in the ribs a few times until it’s Rebel in at #3. A quick spinning kick to the head (drawing the second Holly Holm reference of the night) drops Madison as we get a weak NXT chant. Rayne has to try to fight both of them off until it’s Chelsea (unfortunately not the gorgeous one that hung out with Desmond Wolfe but rather Daniel Bryan’s version of Claire Lynch) in at #4.

Chelsea can’t quite eliminate Rebel but does give Madison a breather. The pairs fight against the ropes until it’s Marti Bell in at #5 to give the Dollhouse yet another advantage. Rebel does her splits choke in the corner to keep Chelsea in trouble and the Dollhouse dominates. We still have no eliminations until it’s Deonna (recently of NXT) in at #6. Deonna takes down Rebel and Marti with a bad looking double clothesline as the ring is getting too full. A triple spear puts the Dollhouse down and Rebel is knocked out.

Awesome Kong is in at #7 and it’s time to clear some room. Kong starts cleaning house and uses the other Dollhouse members as projectiles in a smart move. Chelsea and Deonna try to double team the monster and get chokeslammed at the same time. Both are quickly eliminated and it’s Velvet Sky in at #8 to give us a final grouping of Sky, Rayne, Kong, Jade and Bell. Velvet starts knocking the Dollhouse around and the Beautiful People actually knock Kong down.

Marti gets low bridged to the apron but Velvet doesn’t bother to eliminate her. Rayne takes care of Marti for her partner but Velvet is eliminated a few seconds later, leaving us with Madison, Kong and Jade. Kong stands on Rayne’s hand as Pope talks about being in this kind of match before. Josh: “You’ve been in a #1 contenders gauntlet match for the Knockouts Title?”

That’s why Josh Matthews is a horrible commentator in one sentence. Pope is trying to sound like a professional and apply some of his experience to what we’re watching but Josh has to try and make himself sound smart instead. I’m so glad to see Josh getting himself over instead of doing his job. Kong puts Jade on her shoulders and swings her at Madison, only to have Jade get knocked out to the floor and get us down to one on one.

Rayne is quickly taken down to the mat and put in a leg lock which doesn’t go anywhere. Some clotheslines have little effect on Kong but a missile dropkick actually puts her down for two. The shocked look on Kong’s face is great, only to have her grab the Implant Buster to put Rayne away at 16:08.

Rating: D. These things just don’t work. They just don’t. I know TNA has tried this match for years now and I can only think of one or two that wasn’t a borderline disaster. I don’t know if it’s the way they’re booked or how much time they take but these things are almost always bad. Granted in this case it was the lack of any doubt about Kong winning because who else was going to get the title shot here?

The Wolves are glad to have Beer Money back, even though Beer Money is the past. They’d love to face Beer Money any time but here are Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt. A lot of bragging leads to a pull apart.

Trevor Lee vs. Pepper Parks

Parks is an indy regular. Trevor jumps him at the bell and stomps Pepper down in the corner, allowing Pope to get in a “salt in pepper’s wounds” line. Pepper sends Trevor to the floor for a flip dive and stops to play to the crowd a bit. It seems to work this time so points for trying something so many people forget to do. Trevor comes back with a knee to the face as Josh actually brings up Trevor being part of the GFW invasion. Lee puts a knee in Parks’ back and pulls back on the arm for a painful looking hold before actually getting a near fall.

Back up and Lee does his cool belly to belly suplex to counter a cross body and we hit the chinlock. Parks simplifies things a bit by kicking Trevor in the face and gets two off a backslide. A fisherman’s neckbreaker gets the same and Parks cuts off a comeback with a Sky High. Trevor gets creative though with what looks like a dropkick but turns it into a stomp to the chest. That and a fisherman’s buster into a small package are enough to pin Parks at 8:05.

Rating: C+. Is there a reason Parks doesn’t have a job somewhere? He’s a name you hear about all over the place but he’s only been brought in to job here and there. Lee continues to be entertaining and could have a future in TNA if they don’t manage to screw him up like they do almost everyone else.

The Dollhouse celebrates in the back and Kong ACTUALLY TALKS, telling Kim to clean that title up before she comes for it. Has she ever talked before? If so I’d hope it was something more than this. She’s actually not a bad talker and sounded a lot more confident than you would have expected.

Pope is in the ring for some reason. He’s been insulting someone on commentary lately and would like to talk to him face to face. This brings Grado dancing out to the ring, much to Pope’s disgust. Pope talks about how they’re not exactly friends and Grado says something I can barely understand, talking about meeting Pope in 2011. They took a picture together and Grado got TWENTY SIX LIKES on Facebook!

Pope gets annoyed all over again and calls Grado a joke for dancing all over the place instead of taking this ring seriously. Grado offers to speak in an American accent (and not a terrible one actually) so Pope can understand him. He says he’d fight anyone in the back to prove himself to Pope and that means it’s time for a match.

Before we get to the match though, a quick question: why has TNA not had Pope work a match? He’s not exactly a great commentator and he’s still active on the indy circuit, even holding a title in OVW. He was a total heel here though and I have no idea why as he’s normally a face commentator. This was really weird and Pope was doing everything differently than he’s been doing in recent months.

Grado vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball of course with Abyss setting up the rules by telling Grado he likes to dance too. Grado actually dances before kicking Abyss low for an early advantage before the bell. It’s time for some early weapons but Grado knocks the cheese grater away from the monster. Some trashcan shots have little effect on Abyss and he knocks it right into Grado’s face to take over.

We get a table bridged between the apron and the barricade plus the bag of tacks poured out on the floor. Grado is smart enough to use the time to get the cheese grater and blast Abyss low, followed by some kendo stick shots to drop the monster. Abyss is getting up as Grado heads up top, only to have a trashcan pelted at his head, knocking him down through the table for a huge crash.

Instead of just ending it though, here’s the barbed wire board to make it even worse. It’s also Janice time and of course it gets stuck in the turnbuckle. Grado kicks him onto the barbed wire board and now Pope is on Grado’s side. Another board is put on top of Abyss to make a sandwich, followed by a top rope splash to crush him even worse. Grado grabs Janice but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks to give Abyss the pin at 9:23.

Rating: D. What was the point of this? Grado is called a goofy loser, then does goofy stuff in the match and then gets beaten? I’m not a Grado fan but this felt like a way to make him look horrible instead of treating him like someone they might want to capitalize on. The match was your usual Monster’s Ball, which you can almost paint by numbers anymore.

Drew thanks Kurt for the chance and promises to bring it on Tuesday.

Tag Team Titles: Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz vs. Kurt Angle/Drew McIntyre vs. Wolves

Wolves are defending. Jesse headlocks Davey to start but Richards tags in Eddie as Pope almost calls this a WWE Tag Team Title match. Drake comes in and suplexes Edwards for two, only to get a WE WANT ANGLE chant. Instead they get Jesse kicking Eddie in the head but getting suplexed down a few seconds later. Drake is smart enough to pull Davey off the apron to break up the tag, leaving Eddie to tag in Angle.

It’s time to bust out the Germans, including one to both Wolves at the same time. Drew comes in and helps his partner clean house Eddie finally crotches Drew on top to put him in the Tree of Woe, allowing Richards to add a top rope headbutt for two. Nice sequence there. Eddie and Drew get in a chopping contest in opposite corners before deciding to chop each other for a bit.

Drake finally breaks it up with clotheslines but Angle comes back in with an Angle Slam to Jesse. It’s Drew nailing Eddie with the Claymore to put all six down. Drake and Jesse bail to the floor, leaving the other teams to slug it out. That’s fine with the Wolves who both hit the ropes to take out the cowards on the floor.

Drew flips over the top to take out all four and throws Drake back in for an Angle Slam, only to have Davey slide in for a save. The referee gets distracted, allowing Drake to nail Drew with a title for another near fall. Jesse kicks Kurt low but gets sent to the floor, leaving Eli to take the Wolves’ Chasing the Dragon knockoff for two. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs a leg bar to make Eli tap at 10:13.

Rating: B-. This is the standard tag team formula these days and I’m still not a fan. The matches rarely last very long before the whole thing breaks down into pure chaos. It’s still entertaining enough to work but I could go for a more traditional style of tag match with two teams instead of three once in awhile. Still though, match of the night so far.

The good guys all pose together post match.

Lashley is sick of Tyrus costing him the World Title and wants some revenge.

Lashley vs. Tyrus

This has potential, though Lashley’s orange headband kind of ruins the image. Some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner have Tyrus in trouble as the announcers unfortunately remember that Tyrus has a World Title shot coming to him in the near future. Lashley can’t get the legs so he goes with a standing armbar instead. Josh actually talks some strategy by pointing out that Lashley likes to fight in close quarters.

That’s accurate but completely forgotten when Lashley jumps onto Tyrus’ shoulders for a standing cross armbreaker. Well that was awesome. The annoying TNA fans want Shera as Tyrus drops down to break the hold before suplexing him over the top and out to the floor. With the referee checking on Lashley, Tyrus pulls the top turnbuckle off, which I’m sure won’t come back to haunt him.

A headbutt to the chest puts Lashley down again for two and we hit the nerve hold. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Tyrus throws him over with a t-bone suplex before sending him hard into the exposed buckle. Lashley shrugs it off but misses a charge (mostly) into the post, allowing Tyrus to get two off a cross body. They go over to the exposed buckle but the referee gets bumped. For some reason this fires Lashley up and he goes totally insane, sending Tyrus into the exposed buckle TEN TIMES IN A ROW! Ok so they were really gentle shots but still it’s a cool idea. The spear puts Tyrus away at 9:35.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot better if they just beat each other up for ten minutes but instead it was Tyrus laying around and doing his slow offense because he’s not that interesting. At least Lashley didn’t lose again as I’m really getting tired of seeing him lose every important match he ever has. Not horrible here and the ten buckle spot was a new idea but Lashley needs someone else to throw around.

The announcers recap the show.

Beer Money video.

Roode and Storm are ready.

Beer Money vs. Bram/Eric Young

Storm headlocks Young down to start and drops him with a Russian legsweep, followed by a knee drop from Roode. With the wrestling not working, Young bites Roode on the shoulder and makes the tag off to Bram. Everything breaks down and Bram gets double hiptossed. Young is rammed into his partner to send both guys out to the floor. That’s fine with Roode who backdrops Storm onto both guys for a crash.

There’s the double suplex but Bram breaks up SHOUTING THEIR NAMES, which must be considered the big spot. Things settle down with Storm getting beaten down in the wrong corner until he grabs a running neckbreaker on Young. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Bram keeps Storm down and grabs a chinlock.

Roode and Young yell at each other on the apron, allowing Young to take Bram’s place with no tag. Those horrible villains. Storm fights up and catches Bram in a double clothesline, only to have Young pull Roode off the apron. Not that it matters as Storm gets in another clothesline a few moments later and makes the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm busts out a hurricanrana from the top, setting up a top rope splash from Roode for two. The villains come back with a Hart Attack for the same but Storm breaks up the piledriver with a Last Call. Now Beer Money gets to SHOUT THEIR NAMES and it’s the DWI (Drinking While Investing, a suplex into a powerbomb) for the pin on Bram at 15:05.

Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the three way tag as it had more structure (and time to be fair) before everything broke down. Beer Money is still a good team though I’m not sure what they’re going to do after they have the dream match against the Wolves. That’s good for a one off match or maybe two but after that, the division is still horribly dry.

A big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was WAY better than most One Night Only shows but it felt like a long episode of Impact instead of something special. It’s not a bad show and the two tag matches are both entertaining, but as usual this felt like a contractual obligation instead of something they needed to air. Unless you absolutely loved Impact earlier this week, don’t waste your time with this.

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Impact Wrestling – November 25, 2015: Thank Goodness

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 25, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the final night of group play as we’re finally going to know the final sixteen people who could become the new World Champion. That means the matches almost all have meaning for a change, which should mix things up a good bit. There’s no word on what happens after this but the finals should be coming soon. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap and preview.

Group X-Division: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

This is a playoff after these three tied in points. It’s a two fall match with the winner of the first fall getting to leave and then the second winner advancing as well. They all go after each other to start with Tigre sending both guys to the floor and hitting a huge moonsault off the top to take them both out. Back in and Manik and Uno trade arm holds until DJZ comes back in to break it up, only to be sent to the floor. Manik puts Tigre in a Gory Special and adds a reverse Boston crab to DJZ at the same time. Back up and DJZ grabs a quick double DDT to advance to the round of sixteen.

Tigre starts fast with a reverse suplex into a Stunner for two (cool move) but gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That sends Tigre to the ropes so Manik tries a belly to back superplex, only to get elbowed down. A split legged corkscrew moonsault sends Tigre to the next round at 7:57.

Rating: C. This is becoming my standard rating for an X-Division match. It didn’t have much time to go anywhere, the high spots were fun and the title meant nothing. I’m really not sure what they see in DJZ going forward after the changes to Manik but why bother with potential when you can go with comedy?

Drew Galloway was in Glasgow and talks about being married to this business because it’s all you have time for as a wrestler. This is the longest time he’s been home in ten years and he can’t wait to come back here with his perfect partner: the World Heavyweight Championship.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Drew Galloway

Feeling out process to start until Drew unleashes the power with a gorilla press. They head outside with Drew sending him back first into the apron, only to miss a charge and go head first into the steps. Drew barely beats the count back in and misses a charge into the post to make things even worse. Some running dropkicks and an enziguri mean it’s time for Spud to take off the bowtie. The Underdog is broken up but Drew can’t bring himself to take a cheap shot, allowing Spud to grab a jumping DDT for two. Not that it matters as the Claymore (running boot, to the chest in this case) puts Spud away at 7:17.

Rating: B-. Better than I was expecting here as Spud has found that perfect formula to make you believe that he could pull off a huge upset like this without it being ridiculous. Galloway is going to make a deep run in this thing and it’s cool to see him have to sweat a bit against someone who is fun to watch in Spud. Good match here and better than I was hoping for.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Group UK: Grado vs. Bram

If Bram wins, he advances to the round of sixteen. If Grado wins, there’s a three way playoff with Spud, Bram and Grado later tonight. Grado dances a lot and gets rolled up in four seconds. They had to get seven matches in tonight so this almost had to happen at some point.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Bram – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Grado – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Group Future Four: Micah vs. Jesse Godderz

Winner advances. Micah gets sent to the floor to start as Pope talks about getting the job done no matter what he was doing. Well he certainly did a lot of jobs so he’s got something there. Back in and Jesse slowly pounds away until Micah makes his comeback to indifference. A Samoan drop puts Jesse down but he avoids a top rope headbutt, setting up the Adonis Crab to advance Jesse at 4:29.

Rating: D. Is there a reason Micah has a job? He’s generic in the ring, no one cares about him, and I don’t remember a single thing about him. Jesse is starting to turn a very weak corner and it’s always good to have a heel that you want to see get punched in the face. At least they kept this quick as this group has been death since it started.

Group Future Four

Eli Drake – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Jesse Godderz – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Micah – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Crimson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Recap of Group Tag Team.

Kurt Angle has been in the UK to hype up the Maximum Impact tour. He officially announced his retirement tour and says his run is over, possibly after this tour.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Robbie E. vs. Davey Richards

Winner advances. They trade armdrags to start and it’s an early standoff. Robbie’s armbar doesn’t work and Davey sends him to the floor, only to have Robbie switch places for a flip dives off the apron. Back in and Davey takes over with a clothesline and inverted Indian deathlock. Robbie fights up with some clotheslines to set up the Boom Drop for a close two, more or less sealing his fate. They trade rollups until Davey stomps onto Robbie’s chest for two more. Creeping Death advances Davey at 7:15.

Rating: C+. Gah I can’t stand Davey Richards. He’s fun when he’s out there with Edwards but when he gets into that martial arts and LET ME SHOW YOU NINTEEN DIFFERENT WAYS I CAN KICK YOU stuff, he’s one of the most annoying guys I’ve ever seen. Robbie would have been a fun story but we’ll go with dull and overrated instead.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 4 point (0 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 point (0 matches remaining)

Group Wild Card: Crazzy Steve vs. Kenny King

If Steve wins we have another playoff but if King wins, he advances. They start fast and trade armdrags to continue a popular trend tonight. Josh recaps the Menagerie until King elbows Steve in the face to take over. Steve goes up top and honks his horn before a springboard hurricanrana gets two. What appeared to be a Codebreaker is countered into the Royal Flush to advance King, who I don’t think is with the promotion anymore, at 4:29.

Rating: F. This is your weekly WHY AM I WATCHING THIS match as Steve is an unfunny comedy guy who is still around for reasons I’ll never understand. The only good thing here is the lack of having to watch Aiden O’Shea and Steve again in a playoff. This was the worst division by about a mile and one of the few I actually dreaded.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 9 points (0 matches remaining)

Kenny King – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (0 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

Aries says Lashley will have to be at his best to win.

Pope gives out more awards:

Move of the Tournament – Sky High to Kenny King

Upset of the Tournament – Brooke b. Gail Kim

Turkey of the Tournament – Grado vs. Rockstar Spud

Group Champions: Lashley vs. Austin Aries

Winner advances. Aries bounces off Lashley to start until a missile dropkick staggers Lashley a bit. That’s fine with Lashley as he throws Aries away and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Aries knees his way out of a delayed vertical suplex by knocking Lashley down to a knee but Lashley stands back up and suplexes him anyway. That is SCARY power.

Back from a break with Aries elbowing out of Lashley’s grip but getting caught in a belly to belly. The spear hits the post though and Aries follows up with a missile dropkick. Lashley slaps him out of the corner though and dead lifts him into a powerslam. I repeat my scary power line. The Last Chancery doesn’t get Aries anywhere so he goes with discus forearms. Lashley again powers out of the brainbuster and throws Aries over his head with a release German.

Aries avoids the spear but Lashley sidesteps the suicide dive. The match comes to a screeching halt as Aries is holding his arm with ninety seconds to go. Lashley finally clotheslines him down again as this thing JUST WON’T END. Aries grabs the Lash Chancery but Lashley makes the rope. Instead of standing around for the last thirty seconds, Aries tries a 450 but eats a spear to send Lashley on at 15:05.

Rating: B. At least it went out on a good match, even though Aries got stupid at the end after being smart most of the time. Lashley is the smart choice here since he actually works for TNA, but Aries was a nice surprise. I mean, I’m stupid for realizing he’s a surprise according to Josh but he’s a lot smarter than me after all.

Group Champions

Ethan Carter III – 7 points (0 matches remaining)

Lashley – 6 points (0 matches remaining)

Austin Aries – 4 points (0 matches remaining)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (0 matches remaining)

We recap the night because just announcing the brackets isn’t interesting enough.

Here are the official round of sixteen brackets:

Ethan Carter III

DJZ

Bram

Davey Richards

Lashley

Drew Galloway

Mahabali Shera

Eli Drake

Tigre Uno

Gail Kim

Eric Young

Kenny King

Jesse Godderz

Awesome Kong

Bobby Roode

Matt Hardy

That could be worse, but they’ve handed Carter a spot in the semifinals.

Ethan Carter III is thrilled with his draw.

DJZ is ready…..for the three women he’s brought home.

Davey Richards is of course respectful about Bram.

Eli Drake is a smarmy jerk and says he won’t be dancing with Shera. I like him more and more every time I hear him talk.

Eric Young IS GOD.

Jesse Godderz isn’t worried about any man, woman or Kong.

Bobby Roode says his toughest test is coming.

Matt Hardy thinks no one is stopping him.

Overall Rating: C-. THANK GOODNESS! I am so incredibly sick of this tournament and listening to Josh talk about how IT’S SUDDEN DEATH IN THIS GROUP and having Pope call everyone daddy every ten seconds. I understand that there has been a lot of action in this and some of it has been really good. However, so much of it has been stuff like Jesse vs. Micah or King vs. Steve.

The good is indeed good but this concept going on for two straight months with NOTHING else would drive anyone crazy. If you want to have a tournament then fine, but don’t drag it out this long. The good is completely overshadowed by the bad and uninteresting, leaving you with two months of watchable wrestling that is completely wasted because it’s the same idea over and over and over. At least it’s over now and we can get on to……the actual tournament.

Results

Tigre Uno and DJZ b. Manik – Split legged corkscrew moonsault

Drew Galloway b. Rockstar Spud – Claymore

Bram b. Grado – Rollup

Jesse Godderz b. Micah – Adonis crab

Davey Richards b. Robbie E. – Creeping Death

Kenny King b. Crazzy Steve – Royal Flush

Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear

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Impact Wrestling – November 4, 2015: Groundhog Day

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 4, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s Week 5 of the World Title Series and things are starting to come together. You can see a lot of the people who are going to move forward and most of the people who aren’t making it into the field of sixteen. In addition to this, we’re also getting a special interview with Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of last week and a preview of tonight’s major matches.

The announcers preview the matches as well.

Preview of the Hardy interview where he talks about breaking his leg.

Group Knockouts: Madison Rayne vs. Brooke

Before the match, Madison talks about how the Knockouts started the revolution nearly ten years ago. Madison goes on to give every must win cliché that you’ve ever heard of because there’s nothing personal in almost any of these matches. It’s a feeling out process to start until Brooke takes over with a dropkick and shoulders. A clothesline out of the corner gets two but Brooke might have hurt her hand. Brooke’s top rope elbow gets two but the Rayne Drop gives Madison the pin at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Decent enough match but which of them am I supposed to want to see win? There’s no reason to boo or cheer either of them because there’s no personal issue here. We have a tied series now so it’s basically a mini elimination tournament, which is probably going to happen in multiple groups, just like everything else does.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Gail Kim – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Madison Rayne – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eric Young says he’s the real original and Roode might not make it to the main event.

Video on Roode vs. Young to set up their match later tonight.

The announcers preview Roode vs. Young.

Group UK: Bram vs. Rockstar Spud

They stand there and look at each other for a bit to start. The fans are entirely behind Spud of course. Some forearms and right hands have Bram in the corner, followed by a couple running forearms. Bram grabs him by the throat but Spud bites him on the hand. Spud knocks him back to the floor but gets caught diving off the apron. Bram starts fish hooking Spud’s mouth before stomping on the ribs back inside. That’s quite the downgrade in offense. A quick enziguri staggers Bram and a rollup gets two. Not that it matters as the Brighter Side of Suffering puts Spud away at 5:38.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I was hoping Spud would win so we could wrap the division up instead of letting the drama continue. It would be really nice to have some names advance to the round of sixteen so it might feel like we’re getting closer to actually wrapping this thing up. A little light at the end of the tunnel would be nice for a change.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Bram – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Grado – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Roode is ready for Young and is going to end the year as a double champion.

Another preview for the interview, this time talking about Matt winning the title. Good grief can they do anything but fill in time on these shows?

Group X-Division: Mandrews vs. Manik

This would be the weekly “these guys have no chance of winning but here’s a match between them anyway.” Manik takes him to the mat to start but Mandrews gets back up and springs from an armdrag into a twisting cradle for two. An armbar doesn’t get Mandrews anywhere so Manik takes him down and works on the leg.

Back up and Mandrews dropkicks the leg as Josh calls this a classic. A quick hurricanrana takes Manik down and a tornado DDT does the same. Mandrews takes his time looking at the crowd and his standing moonsault hits knees. He takes FOREVER going up top though and his shooting star hits knees, allowing Manik to hit his GTS into a kick for the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C-. Classic? This? All I saw was two guys doing basic high flying moves to each other for a few minutes. As have been the case with most of the matches in the Series, this was little more than ok. They didn’t do anything all that interesting and I have little reason to believe that either guy is going to mean anything going forward.

Group X-Division

Manik – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Tigre Uno – 3 points (1 match remaining)

DJZ – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Mandrews – 0 points (1 match remaining)

Clip of the Wolves getting the Tag Team Titles back recently.

The Wolves say they’ve fought before and they’ll do it again tonight. Hugs all around.

Young promises to do something to Roode tonight and he’s biding his time.

It’s finally time for the Hardy interview. First up he talks about falling off the cage to knock him onto the stairs (read as: the annual injury angle because he can’t go to Europe). This led to Hardy’s Revenge against James Storm in the cage where he completely changed form. After winning the Tag Team Titles with Matt, he broke his leg in the motorcycle accident. We see a clip of the crash and Jeff barely remembers anything about it because of the pain from breaking his leg. We’ll see part two later. Thank goodness because this was a lot of nothing.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

They come out together as partners. Slow feeling out process to start as the grab a test of strength and monkey flip each other over before going to the mat for near falls. They both raise one arm, then they both raise the other arm, then they both raise both arms. I knew that before it happened because I’ve seen that same sequence multiple times over the years. Both guys have kicks to the ribs caught because they’re mirroring each other the entire way.

Back with the guys actually doing something on their own with Davey missing a charge in the corner and getting kneed in the head. We’re under five minutes now and Eddie slaps on a chinlock. They get back up and Eddie scores with a running kick in the corner. He takes too much time going up top though and gets caught with a running spinwheel kick, setting up a superplex from Davey.

We hit two minutes left and Eddie kicks Davey in the head again but Davey escapes the Backpack Stunner. Richards misses a top rope double stomp and we have a minute to go. A pinfall reversal sequence gets us nowhere and they strike it out until the clock runs out for a draw at 15:00.

Rating: C-. I never want to see these two fight again. I’m well aware that there’s an audience for the performance style stuff they had before the break, but that kind of stuff is the least realistic style of wrestling that I’ve ever seen. I understand the idea is that they know each other perfectly well, but it’s basically saying “yeah they’re working together”. The second half was much better, though still not great.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 1 points (1 match remaining)

Davey Richards – 1 points (1 match remaining)

The draw means Matt Hardy has advanced to the round of sixteen.

The Wolves think they have something special and will be friends forever.

Part two of Jeff’s interview starts with a discussion of Jeff being broken up by having to watch Matt vacate the Tag Team Titles. This led to Matt challenging for the World Title and Ethan turning it into a way to take Jeff’s dignity away. He doesn’t regret betting on his brother but he didn’t like having to wake Ethan up for his workout and making sure Tyrus watched Sesame Street. It was a great feeling to see Matt win a title and be in the solo dimension. When Matt wins the title back, Jeff will be the loudest cheerer of all. This was a bit better but the interview was more like Jeff’s year in review.

Roode tells Young to hit him now but Young says he’s already inside Roode’s head.

Pope makes some predictions with the swiping game.

Group Wild Card: Mahabali Shera vs. Kenny King

Kenny says if Mahabali wants to be Shera, he’ll be He-Man and that ring is his Eternia. Wouldn’t that be gimmick infringement on Eli Drake? Shera shoulders him down a few times to start but gets taken down into a headlock. King sends Shera to the floor for a big corkscrew dive with a forearm hitting Shera in the head. Back in and we hit the chinlock followed by an enziguri for two. Shera comes back with a suplex and pulls King out of the air with the Sky High for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: C. Face it: Shera is getting this monster push for the India tapings and that’s all there is to it. He’s a bit better now, but dear goodness hearing about that stupid dance while they’re over in India is going to be tough to take. As usual, TNA feels the need to appeal to the live audience instead of the people at home and this is the result. Decent enough match but as usual, just moves until someone gets a pin.

Group Wild Card

Mahabali Shera – 6 points (1 match remaining)

Kenny King – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (1 match remaining)

We recap the night.

Quick video on Roode vs. Young.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

We start after a break and Young is quickly sent to the floor, only to snap Roode’s throat over the top rope. Young stays on the throat with a catapult into the middle rope and we hit the neck crank. A quick neckbreaker gets two on Roode but he comes back with an enziguri for a delayed fall. Roode grabs a spinebuster for two and counters the piledriver into a jackknife cover for two. Back up and Young grabs the referee for a distraction, setting up the piledriver for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. Decent enough match but these videos designed to make these regular matches feel like some big showdown between epic rivals really aren’t working. Young and Roode are the likely winners of the group as Storm seems to be gone but Abyss is always a possibility. Good enough here as Roode at least stayed on the neck for a story.

Group TNA Originals

Bobby Roode – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Abyss – 3 points (1 point remaining)

James Storm – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Eric Young – 3 points (1 match remaining)

Overall Rating: D+. The show was WAY better than last week but that doesn’t mean the major problems have gone. This is the fifth week in a row where they’ve followed the same formula: a few nothing matches, a ton of analysis from Josh and Pope, then a TNA Greatest Hits main event. Thankfully we can FINALLY see some light at the end of a very long tunnel as all of the groups other than Future Four have had two matches each and we even have one person in the final sixteen. The Series continues to be very well structured and executed but the wrestling mostly ranges from average to boring and that’s not good.

Results

Madison Rayne b. Brooke – Rayne Drop

Bram b. Rockstar Spud – Brighter Side of Suffering

Manik b. Mandrews – Kick to the head

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a time limit draw

Mahabali Shera b. Kenny King – Sky High

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 7, 2015: It’s A Carter Thing

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 7, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Bound For Glory has come and gone and not a lot has changed because the World Title is now vacant. Matt Hardy won the title by pinning Drew Galloway, but Ethan Carter III fired an injunction against him for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Therefore, tonight we’re starting a 32 person series to crown a new champion at some point in the future. In other words, we’ll be seeing a lot of matches taped a few months ago cobbled together into a competition. Let’s get to it.

We open with a stills package of Sunday’s main event, which means nothing now.

Dinero and Matthews are in the studio and throw us into a package of everything that has happened since Sunday. Ethan Carter III has gotten an injunction from a judge to prevent Matt Hardy from appearing on Impact. Why? Not important enough to explain but we’ll go with “reasons”.

Therefore, since Matt can’t appear on TNA TV, we see a video of Matt vacating the title. So yeah, we still don’t get any new details and the story is still all muddled and a way to get to the ends they need because just having Carter retain was too complicated. Matt kept talking about a controversy but there’s still no explanation of what exactly happened.

Dixie Carter talks about how the 72 hours since Bound For Glory ended have been insane. It really is insane since 72 hours ago (remember that this was recorded earlier today) would have been since Sunday afternoon, not Sunday night but we’ll just chalk that up to another reason why Dixie isn’t that bright. Dixie and Billy Corgan (who the fans are just supposed to know works for TNA) announce the 32 person series to determine the new champion. Its name: the World Title Series. Dig that creativity!

The men and women will both be involved in the series with eight groups of four each. The groups will compete against each other in round robin style matches with three points for a win, one point for a draw and zero points for a loss. There are fifteen minute time limits and the top two from each group advance to the round of sixteen, which is a single elimination tournament with no time limits.

Here’s the first group (Group UK):

Bram

Rockstar Spud

Grado

Drew Galloway

Group #2 (Group Wild Card):

Aiden O’Shea

Crazzy Steve

Kenny King

Mahabali Shera

Group #3 (Group Knockouts)

Awesome Kong

Madison Rayne

Brooke

Gail Kim

Group #4 (Group Champions)

Lashley

Austin Aries

Mr. Anderson

Ethan Carter III

Dinero and Josh make their predictions on the first four groups.

Drew Galloway talks about Sunday being the hardest night of his life. He’ll be back though.

Group UK: Drew Galloway vs. Bram

Josh says the injunction might be about Jeff Hardy hitting Carter on Sunday. That really should have been mentioned earlier as it almost kind of makes sense, but we’re 20 minutes into the show and FINALLY hearing about that theory. As usual, TNA comes off as disorganized and doesn’t bother to explain something that really should be covered earlier, assuming that’s what’s going on.

They fight into the corner to start and Bram bails to the floor. Back in and Bram bails again as we go split screen to see some clips of a roundtable group discussion from earlier in the day. I can’t stand it when this happens as it’s very distraction. Just do the audio or something as it’s not like they’re hard to tell apart.

As Bram talks about being better than the rest of the group, Drew suplexes Bram to the floor again but this time Bram sends him into the steps to take over. Back in and Bram grabs a chinlock until Galloway gets to his feet and wins a slugout. They head outside again so Galloway can send him face first into the steps over and over. Back inside and Drew’s running big boot is good for the pin and three points at 7:59.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it’s clear that we’re going to see a lot of decent to average matches with no drama until they get to the single elimination stuff. The match was fine enough and it’s a good thing that they didn’t push Bram before he went all crazy. I’m hoping we get Galloway as the new champion too, if nothing else so I can laugh at TNA for making this whole tournament when they could have just put the title on him in the first place.

Group UK Standings

Drew Galloway – 3 points (2 matches left)

Rockstar Spud – 0 points (3 matches left)

Grado – 0 points (3 matches left)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches left)

Gail Kim is thankful for the chance to be in the tournament.

Drew Galloway says Bram’s mistake was going to the floor. They’re treating this like a traditional sports event with analysis and the pre and post match interviews.

Group Knockouts: Brooke vs. Gail Kim

No title with Gail because of the taping schedule which Josh attributes to Gail being focused on the World Title. They keep the split screen stuff to a minimum here and come back to Gail monkey flipping her over, only to get caught in a pinfall reversal sequence for some near falls. Brooke grabs something like a reverse Cattle Mutilation but can’t keep the hold on.

Eat Defeat is broken up and they slug it out until Brooke grabs the Butterface Maker (in case you didn’t get the theme of Brooke’s character). She misses a top rope elbow though and Gail bends Brooke’s ribs around the post. Eat Defeat is countered again so Gail tries a leg lock, only to get rolled up for the pin at 6:25.

Rating: C. This was fine again but I’m scared of what’s going to happen if Brooke advances to the next round and someone who is supposed to be serious has to sell for her. I get what they’re going for by putting the Knockouts in but it feels way out of place at the same time. Kong and Kim would be one thing, but the other two feel like complete outliers. Then again they probably aren’t making it to the tournament so it’s not the worst thing in the world.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches left)

Awesome Kong – 0 points (3 matches left)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (3 matches left)

Gail Kim – 0 points (2 matches left)

EC3 wants this to be called the Memorial Screwjob Series. He should be the champion because he got ripped off but it’s motivated him to win this thing. Carter promises to defeat Austin Aries tonight in record time. This series isn’t over until he wins.

The announcers talk about the first two matches.

Group UK: Rockstar Spud vs. Grado

In the split screen discussion, Grado and Spud argue over who the real underdog is. In the ring, Grado sits on Spud’s chest for two and drops a backsplash for good measure. A Cannonball misses though and Spud scores with a dropkick in the corner. Grado comes back with a Pedigree (not a good one either) for two. There go the straps but Grado’s ankle lock is quickly broken up.

Spud hits an overly complicated Worm for two but Grado tops him with a People’s Elbow. The running the ropes (multiple times across the ring) makes him tired though and Pope thinks this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen. Spud hits a decent chokeslam and the Undertaker cover gets two. Matthews calls this a slobberknocker as Grado escapes an AA but walks into a Stunner and the Underdog to give Spud the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. Thanks for giving us this six minute ad that made me want to turn this show off and go watch the WWE Network. I get the idea they were going for here but I still don’t get the appeal of Grado. As Josh said in the Knockouts match, the idea here is supposed to be everyone is serious about the World Title. Instead though, we had a comedy match which was only funny at times. Pick an idea.

Group UK

Drew Galloway – 3 points (2 matches left)

Rockstar Spud – 3 points (2 matches left)

Grado – 0 points (2 matches left)

Bram – 0 points (2 matches left)

Pope picks EC3 to lose all of his matches.

Tyrus, with headphones around the side of his head to make him look even angrier, says he’s going to sit back and see who wins the Series because he’s up next. It would be interesting if EC3 wins.

Group Champions: Ethan Carter III vs. Austin Aries

Aries has Thea Trinidad with him for no apparent reason. Josh says the internet nerds are asking why Aries is here after he lost a career match. No Josh, actually we’re wrestling fans who sit around and listen to your mindless drivel as you try to be the cool announcer while coming off as the biggest tool this side of your local hardware store.

Heaven forbid we listen to the rules and stories your company presents and then expect them to follow their own ideas. No instead we’re nerds for trying to make sense of a business that you couldn’t even get into because you couldn’t beat freaking Maven and then no major company wanted to see you get in the ring so you’re stuck with this sinking ship of a company because WWE realized they could get any hack to replace you.

So after the explanation of “HAHA we don’t have to explain why Aries is back” we’re ready to go. Pope starts talking about Jeff Hardy getting involved on Sunday so I guess that’s the official reason for the injunction. Again, not that Ethan ever actually mentioned that but why waste time on something like that? Ethan cranks on a wristlock and then runs Aries over with a shoulder. Aries pops back up and forearms Carter outside, followed by a slingshot hilo to send Carter to the floor again.

Some elbows to the head (am I a nerd for knowing what an elbow is Josh? Or do I need to be a professional like you?) knock Ethan back inside but Aries dives on Tyrus when he gets too close to Thea. We take a break and come back with Aries fighting out of a chinlock until Ethan pulls him back to the mat for the same hold. We’ve got less than five minutes to go and this was the only match to have the time limit announced during the entrances. Aries fights back and gets a neckbreaker across the middle rope, followed by a suicide dive into the barricade.

Back in and another Tyrus distraction lets Carter get two off a TKO. Carter’s superplex is broken up and Aries gets two off the 450 in a surprising kickout. Even Tyrus was freaked out. Aries wins a slugout but Tyrus trips him up, allowing Ethan to grab a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. The Last Chancery goes on with a minute left but since that move never gets a submission, Carter gets to the ropes. Both finishers are countered three times each and Aries can’t get the Last Chancery as time runs out at 15:00.

Rating: B. I had a really good time with this one and it was cool to see Carter kick out of a big move instead of having to be saved as usual. The ending sequence with the counters was really good, but I had a hard time trying to shake off Josh’s lines at the beginning. Aries being back is a good thing, even if he’s just filling in a spot.

Aries gives Carter a brainbuster after the match.

Group Champions

Austin Aries – 1 point (2 matches left)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches left)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (3 matches left)

Lashley – 0 points (3 matches left)

Pope says getting a draw and one point is like getting zero points.

Mr. Anderson is glad that he’s in the toughest group. He’s all in against Lashley tonight.

Aries says Carter knows what the brainbuster feels like and it’s his first loss if he ever feels it again.

Group Knockouts: Madison Rayne vs. Awesome Kong

An early Implant Buster doesn’t work for Kong so she throws Madison across the ring. As the split screen gives us some rare talking from Kong (the seas will boil with her rage it seems), Kong throws Madison in a Torture Rack before just dropping her. Madison comes back with a missile dropkick for two but the Implant Buster ends Rayne at 4:12.

Rating: D. Total squash here with Kong looking dominant like she should have. Madison is still good in the ring but it takes a different kind of opponent to give Kong a threat. They were smart to keep this short here and it made Kong look like a real threat, assuming she can stay healthy.

Group Knockouts

Brooke – 3 points (2 matches left)

Awesome Kong – 3 points (2 matches left)

Madison Rayne – 0 points (2 matches left)

Gail Kim – 0 points (2 matches left)

Lashley is glad to be in a tournament because he’s gotten here in tournament style competition. Mr. Anderson is victim #1 tonight.

Matt Hardy talks about what a great moment Sunday night was but now it’s all gone. He’s entered into the Series and will start competing next week. So…..Carter’s injunction didn’t get rid of Matt and now he has to go through a bunch of people instead of someone he’s already beaten twice to get the belt back. Bad business sense is a bad family trait for the Carters.

Group Champions: Mr. Anderson vs. Lashley

Lashley takes him to the mat to start and we’re in a break just a few seconds after the bell. Back with Lashley suplexing Anderson with ease but the spear can’t connect yet. The split screen has Lashley and Anderson saying that they should both move on and then fight in the round of sixteen. Lashley charges into the post to give Anderson two and it’s time to work on the arm.

Anderson dropkicks Lashley’s leapfrog out of the air and it’s time to go back to the arm. A single arm DDT gets two and it’s back to the armbar. Back up and Lashley fires off some clotheslines with the good arm, including a big one in the corner. There’s a spinebuster as we have less than five minutes to go. The spear still can’t connect though and Anderson hits a pair of Regal Rolls. Anderson tries a third but Lashley rolls out and hits the spear for the win at 12:16.

Rating: C+. Not a bad main event style match here and I’m glad to see Lashley get a win for a change. He’s been falling further and further down the card in recent weeks and it’s nice to see that switch, even for one night. You have to think he and Carter are the two moving on from this group as Anderson is little more than a main event jobber.

Group Champions

Lashley – 3 points (2 matches left)

Austin Aries – 1 point (2 matches left)

Ethan Carter III – 1 point (2 matches left)

Mr. Anderson – 0 points (2 matches left)

Overall Rating: C+. You know I didn’t hate this. They’ve actually got a good idea going here and the presentation worked well. I could go for them jumping back and forth between the two sets of groups from week to week, as there are going to be six matches per group for eight groups or forty eight matches. That should cover them for seven or eight weeks as there won’t be a twelve minute intro and a full time limit draw every week.

TNA did a good job of presenting this and it should get a lot better once they get down to the final sixteen and a more traditional tournament. This felt like a bigger version of the Bound For Glory Series but more structured and that’s not a bad thing. It could be far worse and I can live with the idea of this getting us to a new champion. Of course that’s assuming you ignore all the flaws in Ethan’s plan and the fact that TNA got themselves into this trouble in the first place. Good show and a good way to get started on the latest tournament they have to run to fix their latest gaffe.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Bram – Running boot

Brooke b. Gail Kim – Small package

Rockstar Spud b. Grado – Underdog

Austin Aries vs. Ethan Carter III went to a time limit draw

Awesome Kong b. Madison Rayne – Implant Buster

Lashley b. Mr. Anderson – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – September 23, 2015: It Still Sucks

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 23, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Well the invaders are gone and now it’s time for the build to Bound For Glory, which is going to take place in the next two weeks because that’s all the time we have left. The big story is now Ethan Carter III messing with Jeff Hardy while we wait for a new #1 contender to be crowned. The show basically resets tonight after the GFW guys are gone so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Lethal Lockdown. It still sucks.

The roster is around the ring as Team TNA and Dixie are in the ring. Galloway thanks Dixie for the chance and talks about how this is their platform to show how much they love wrestling. Dixie makes a five way match for the #1 contendership later in the night. However, Dixie isn’t done yet. There’s one man who is outside of the family now and she wants him out here right now.

Cue Eric Young, who says he has an iron clad contract with TNA but he hedged his bets anyway. There’s nothing Dixie and company can do about it, but Dixie thinks the people around the ring might want to do something. She brings out Sgt. Chris Melendez, who has lost to Eric every single time as Josh points out.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

Lumberjack match. Young throws him to the floor to start but the lumberjacks let him back inside. Back in and the fans chant USA as Young is still in full control with a chinlock. Young keeps destroying him with some knees in the corner as Josh hypes up Kurt Angle returning at Bound For Glory. A horrible Samoan drop puts Young down but he pokes Chris in the eye. The prosthetic leg to the face looks to set up the piledriver but instead puts Chris on top for a superplex. Chris shoves him off and hits a missile dropkick for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: D. So here’s the lesson: if you go to war and get your leg blown off, you’ll get to come back to a wrestling promotion that almost no one watches and be one of the least interesting wrestlers of all time before eventually beating an upper midcarder, which will be treated like the most amazing moment in history. Boring match again, because neither of these two are anything worth watching.

The lumberjacks come in to celebrate because they’re easily entertained.

The Dollhouse talks about hurting Gail Kim tonight. Jade is thrilled to get the chance. Rebel and Belle are told to go prove their worth to Taryn.

Ethan Carter III tells Jeff Hardy to do what he says tonight or get fired.

Lashley is done with defending TNA and is ready to go to Bound For Glory.

The announcers talk about the elimination match tonight. Josh looks like a tool with his flannel shirt and sleeve tattoo.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade

Gail is defending but Jade jumps her to start. A hurricanrana gets two for the champ but a German suplex gets the same for Jade. Some chops in the corner have Gail in trouble (Pope: “Look at the chest of Gail Kim!”) until she comes back with her corner cross body and the Figure Four around the post. Another hurricanrana is countered into a Batista Bomb to give Jade two, only to have Eat Defeat retain Gail’s title at 4:24.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but they gave away the ending at the beginning by showing the Gail vs. Kong graphic for Bound For Glory. You think they can afford to make a second graphic for a single match? Gail was her usual solid but dull self here and Jade did her normal stuff to make for a watchable match, even if it was hard to care about because Gail sucks the energy out of any segment she’s involved in.

Rebel and Marti run out to beat down Gail but Velvet and Madison make the save. Gail is left alone so here’s Awesome Kong for the staredown.

Rockstar Spud, with Kong’s music still playing, says he and Ethan are welded together so tonight they fight again for the World Title.


X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

Time for your monthly defense of the worthless title against the latest opponent who has already left the promotion because they have nothing to do for him. King is also 0-2 since coming back so naturally he’s getting a title shot. Kenny shoves him around to start but Tigre comes back with some kicks to the head to knock King outside, followed by a corkscrew dive. King kicks Tigre out of the air and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A high cross body gets two for the champ but King kicks him into the corner again. Tigre grabs a quick tornado DDT though and the springboard splash retains the title at 5:29.

Rating: C. Fun little match but as I said, this means absolutely nothing. The X-Division might have actually died worse than anything else in TNA in the last two years, which really covers a lot of ground. The match happens and then we’re done talking about it again for weeks. There’s a chance we’ll get another title match at Bound For Glory but odds are it’s some big multi-man elimination match with no story. That’s the major problem for Uno: other than the stupid Donald Trump thing, he hasn’t had a story in the three months that he’s been champion.

We recap Jeff Hardy being hired by Ethan Carter III against his will. Notice that Carter has said Jeff needs this job to pay his bills. Translation: TNA doesn’t pay you when you’re hurt, even if you’re appearing on TV.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

Carter is defending and has Hardy and Tyrus in his corner. Spud last won a match…..in August or so? Spud chops away in the corner but the champ stomps him down to take over. Some running forearms put Carter down in the corner as well but the Underdog is countered into a powerbomb for two. Spud grabs the leg to block the 1%er and an enziguri puts the champ down. Not that it matters as a quick facebuster sets up the 1%er to retain the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Another quick match that has no time to go anywhere because they have to fit every single thing they can into a single show. There was a time when this match was fun but that was when it was given more than five minutes and an obvious ending. This was more about a quick title defense for Carter, which is fine, but the World Title shouldn’t be on the line in a short match in the middle of the show.

Post match Tyrus beats up Spud even more but Jeff refuses to give him a Twist of Fate. Matt Hardy tries to intervene but Tyrus takes him down. Jeff won’t hit his brother but hits Ethan instead. This story continues to go nowhere because Jeff can’t wrestle, though it still wasn’t the most interesting feud in the first place.

Ethan is going to fire Jeff later.

The Revolution is in the ring with James Storm getting in Abyss’ face. Abyss yells at Storm and says he’s his own man and a TNA original. If Storm ever gets in his face again, Abyss will knock him back to Tennessee. Abyss walks out so Storm calls Khoya out again. Manik says Khoya’s name is Mahabali so Storm shoves him down. Manik still won’t call him Khoya but stops Storm from hitting him. The mask comes off and Manik walks away as well. Cue Sheera who wants to fight Storm right now. Storm says ok but then walks away.

Galloway talks to the Wolves but it’s about being singles wrestlers tonight. All three are cool with that.

There’s going to be a four way Ultimate X match for the X-Division Title at Bound For Glory. No opponents are announced yet. I’m as shocked as you are: a multi-man title match with no story whatsoever, just like almost every title match.

Bram vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Elimination rules and the winner gets the title shot at Bound For Glory. It’s a big brawl to start until Bram and Galloway have a staredown. Lashley comes back in to clean house but gets sent outside. The Wolves get suplexed by Bram but come back with a double suicide dive. Back in and the Wolves start kicking away at Bram, capped off by a double top rope stomp for the elimination.

We come back from a break with Lashley lifting Davey up for a delayed vertical suplex which no one can break up. Why they would want to break it up isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because logic has no place in a Wolves match. Eddie slaps a half crab on Lashley and Davey adds a cloverleaf on Drew. Those go nowhere and a spear from Lashley and Future Shock from Drew take out the Wolves. Down to Lashley vs. Galloway with Lashley taking over off some chops. A powerslam gets two for Lashley and he unleashes the suplexes. The spear hits buckle though and Drew’s big boot sends him to Bound For Glory at 14:43.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It’s a meaningless five way with no personal animosity and no one that stood all that high above the rest. As usual, TNA has no idea how to build to a match other than Dixie coming out and announcing it. This was ten minutes of average wrestling with little drama and no reason to cheer for anyone in particular. If Drew wins, fine. If Lashley wins, fine. Bram wasn’t going to win because he’s a violent man and the Wolves aren’t winning because they’re a team. What was left to care about here?

Ethan and Tyrus are back to call out Jeff for his firing. Jeff throws the sign down and talks about living to create and how the creatures don’t live in Ethan’s reality. Ethan talks about Jeff having no other form of income and orders him down on his knee to kiss the World Title. Jeff gets on his knee but quits instead of reciting Ethan’s speech. Ethan says Jeff is fired and this show is over.

We get a preview for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This company feels like an indy promotion. You establish some characters and have a main title picture, but the rest of the show is spent having random feuds and matches with no real story to them. Wrestlers come and go, no one really gets over, the feuds mean nothing, and then they move on to their next program. The wrestling was just there as usual, meaning it was nothing all that interesting but it was passable for the most part.

This company needs a complete overhaul but that’s not possible when they don’t even know how long they’ll be on TV. Here’s the most telling thing for me: their top stars (arguably) are the Hardys. Matt has been defeated by Ethan twice now and Jeff can’t wrestle. Those are your big draws? A failure and an injured guy? And we’re heading into the biggest show of the year?

TNA’s biggest issue right now (aside from no one watching their show and impending cancellation) is connecting with their audience. Everything is all about caring for people who had stories before. Take the GFW story for example. Why shouldn’t I like the GFW guys? Because Jarrett was an outsider, who still owned part of the company? I have no reason to care about TNA and I have no reason to care about most of the stories they’re telling right now.

Results

Sgt. Chris Melendez b. Eric Young – Missile dropkick

Gail Kim b. Jade – Eat Defeat

Tigre Uno b. Kenny King – Springboard splash

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

Drew Galloway b. Bram, Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards and Lashley – Big boot to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Column: The GFW Invasion Was Really Bad

I’m not bothering with anything complicated here.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-gfw-invasion-was-really-bad/41459/




Impact Wrestling – September 16, 2015: Go Home And Take TNA With You

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 16, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the final night of the invasion as we’ll be having Lethal Lockdown between TNA and GFW for total control of the company. This is likely going to be a one match show for the most part as nothing else of note has been announced. There’s also the chance that someone could turn on their company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the invasion leading up to tonight’s showdown inside the cage.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring for the contract signing between Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett. Yes they’re really saving this for the same show as the blowoff match. Since this is TNA, shouldn’t the signing be delayed? Dixie talks about how Jeff is still causing all this trouble because of how he left the company years ago.

It was Jeff’s action that led him out of TNA and Dixie was hoping that they could work together again. That didn’t happen though and it’s all in the past. Dixie is here to fight for this company going forward and it’s going forward without Jarrett. Jeff says this is a moment in history, but it’s summed up by one man: Eric Young.

Eric is a TNA original who hates Jeff’s guts and is under contract to Dixie, but he’s siding with Global Force Wrestling. What more proof does Dixie need than that? Tonight Jeff is going to take over his second wrestling company and Dixie will be out in the cold where she belongs. The papers are sealed in a briefcase but Jeff punches Jeremy Borash when he tries to take it. Dixie can hang onto it for now because the Jarrett’s will pick it up later.

Jeff Hardy drives Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to the arena. He’s sent to the back for his assignment for the night. Carter will be there when he’s watched ten to twelve cat videos on his phone.

We’re actually getting a series of videos throughout the night on the history between Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett. Someone, please, hit me in the head with something very very hard. I don’t think I can take this all night.

We get a quick recap of Mahabali Sheera vs. the Revolution.

Abyss vs. Mahabali Sheera

Sheera is now a dancer and dances with a guy in a Bigfoot costume at ringside. Abyss isn’t interested in dancing and attacks from behind. They’re quickly on the floor to start with Sheera ramming him into the steps, only to eat a splash back inside. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Sheera fights up, only to eat a chokeslam. The swing from Janice misses though and Sheera chokeslams him for two. Cue Storm with a chair but he hits Abyss with the cowbell by mistake. A quick Sky High (more like treetop high) gives Sheera the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D. So after spending all these weeks treating Sheera like he’s supposed to be a big deal, he’s a dancer. That’s the big idea they came up with after all this time? The guy has a look and some international appeal and he’s a dancer. Well done on giving him the definition of the dead on arrival gimmick guys. Abyss was his normal self here, which is fine for a first win for Sheera, but I can’t take him seriously with this dancing nonsense.

We IMMEDIATELY cut away to Ethan and Tyrus in the back. The champ promises a party tonight.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to introduce Jeff Hardy, who is wearing a black suit covered with Ethan Carter faces. After Ethan cracks jokes, Jeff is forced to tell the fans to stop cheering for him. The fans don’t comply but Carter gives Jeff credit for trying. This brings out Rockstar Spud, who says this looks too familiar. When he came to this company, he did everything Ethan told him to do so he could get his foot in the door. This however is JEFF FREAKING HARDY, a man that makes the crowds go crazy. Ethan decks Spud and the three of them leave. Spud comes after Ethan but Tyrus lays him out. Jeff is forced to hit Spud.

More Dixie vs. Jeff history, including Jeff becoming the new TNA boss a few months back.

Jeff Jarrett tries to recruit Drew Galloway to GFW. TNA is a man down, so why should Drew stick around?

Earl Hebner is going into the TNA Hall of Fame.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.

Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.

Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.

Drew gives Team TNA one more pep talk.

Ethan blames Hardy for having a World Title match next week. Jeff better help him retain the title or else.

One last Dixie vs. Jeff video, this time on Jarrett’s betrayal.

Team TNA vs. Team GFW

TNA: Lashley, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards, Drew Galloway, ???

GFW: Sonjay Dutt, Chris Mordetzky, Jeff Jarrett, Eric Young, Brian Myers

It’s Lethal Lockdown, meaning WarGames. The first two will fight for three minutes until Team GFW sends in its second man for a two minute advantage. The teams alternate until all ten are in, which is when the roof, covered in weapons, lowers. First pin or submission after everyone has entered wins.

Sonjay sends Davey into the cage to start but Richards slugs away. That’s fine with Dutt who bites Davey’s hand and kicks him in the chest to take over. Davey kicks him in the ribs and tries a Texas Cloverleaf, but here’s Eric Young to give GFW the advantage. The slow beating continues until Drew Galloway is in to tie it up. Josh already gets his history wrong by saying Drew is the one that figured out Karen Jarrett was behind the attacks (Drew accused Jeff and Karen confessed).

Back from a break with Brian Myers in for GFW and the invaders in control. Lashley evens things up and this is really not the most even match. A bunch of spears clean house and TNA just waits around for Chris Mordetzky to make it 4-3. They all punch and kick each other until Eddie Edwards evens things up again. TNA takes over again because GFW is Eric Young and a bunch of career jobbers. Jeff Jarrett completes Team GFW and it’s time for a lot more punching. After two more minutes of nothing, Bram comes in as the tenth man.

The weapons are lowered and we take a break. Back with nothing having changed and everyone going for the weapons. The GFW guys take over for a bit until Lashley cleans house. Jarrett tries to escape but gets destroyed by every member of Team TNA until the GFW guys make the save with weapons. TNA shrugs it off like it’s nothing again, capped off by Galloway giving Myers a Future Shock on a trashcan for the pin at 31:30.

Rating: D-. This was one of the most boring, uninteresting, lamest gimmick matches I’ve seen in years. The GFW guys were a bunch of jobbers who couldn’t keep control even when they had a man advantage, mainly because they’re Eric Young, a mostly retired Jeff Jarrett, and three guys who have never won anything significant. That’s the big invading GFW force and we spent a fourth of the show kicking and punching before some lame weapons spots and a DDT end the thing. No high spots, next to no drama, no surprises, and TNA gets to beat a bunch of guys beneath them. Horrible match and nothing I ever want to think about again.

The Jarrett’s are carried out and Dixie comes to the ring for the big hero celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The best match was an average at best four way with an uninteresting ending. If this is supposed to be their big story that makes me want to care about TNA for months to come, they’re even dumber than I thought. This invasion is making me pine for the days of the Alliance as at least you got some good action in there on occasion. I was begging for this show to end and that’s never a good sign. Horrible show with one of the lamest major matches I’ve seen in years.

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. Abyss – Sky High

Gail Kim b. Brooke, Lei’D Tapa and Awesome Kong – Rollup to Brooke

Team TNA b. Team GFW – Future Shock to Myers

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – September 2, 2015: I Hated This Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s full on war now as the Global Force roster attacked several TNA wrestlers last week with Karen Jarrett revealing that she was behind the attacks on Drew Galloway and Bully Ray in recent weeks. In addition to the invasion, it’s almost time for Bound For Glory, which really hasn’t been set up yet. Let’s get to it.

The Hardys and Ethan Carter III arrived earlier. Carter defends against Matt Hardy tonight and if he retains, Jeff Hardy is Carter’s personal assistant.

We recap Karen Jarrett being revealed as the evil mastermind last week.

The Jarretts lead the GFW roster to the ring. Jeff talks (again) about returning on June 24 and being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He brags about all the success the GFW/TNA show had but Karen cuts him off to explain that she did everything for all the hard work her husband has put in for GFW. Yes she set these wheels in motion and had Chris Adonis take out Bully Ray. Jeff is building a new empire and no one in the back can compete with these boys. Adonis issues an open challenge to anyone in the back so here’s Lashley.

Lashley vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lashley throws him down to start and then drops Chris with a clothesline. The Mordetzky Lock (full nelson) is quickly countered into a full nelson slam but Mordetzky nails a Polish Hammer (double ax handle to the chest) to take over. We hit the chinlock before they head outside with Lashley being sent into the steps. Back in and a butterfly suplex seems to annoy Lashley more than hurt him. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s Lashley up first with a German suplex. The spear is countered into a spinebuster but Lashley easily blocks the full nelson. Now the spear connects but here’s GFW for the DQ at 8:57.

Rating: D+. Totally meh match here as this was nothing to see and just a match to show that Mordetsky is part of GFW’s roster. I still have no reason to care about a group of people who have been around for a month and range from no one interesting to WWE rejects. Nothing to see here.

Lashley gets destroyed so here are the Wolves for a failed save. Jeff says bring out the surprise so here she is with the Tag Team Title Feast or Fired briefcase. She says Magnus gave it to her, which apparently you can just do.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee

Wait a minute because Earl Hebner won’t do it, earning him a right hand from Jeff. Another referee is forced to ringside and the match is on. Trevor dropkicks Edwards down for two as this is actually a regular match for a change. Myers comes in for a slam of his own but the Wolves come back with stereo submission holds, only to break them up to go after Sonjay Dutt. Myers brings in a pipe but the distraction lets Lee blast Davey with the briefcase for the pin and the titles at 2:35. There’s your token title win to make this invasion IMPORTANT.

Bobby Roode only cares about winning the King of the Mountain Title tonight.

Long recap of everything that just happened.

Ethan Carter III talks about his love of stories and how tonight, Matt’s story of going for the World Title ends tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: PJ Black vs. Bobby Roode

Black is defending and Roode stops to brag about being a TNA original. This is TNA’s house and Roode is bringing the title home. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as Matthews mistakenly says Black won the title last week. They get inside for some chops but Black blocks a suplex and sends Roode outside for a suicide dive. A springboard clothesline drops Roode and we take a break. Back with Roode winning a slugout and getting two off a spinebuster.

The Roode Bomb is broken up and Gabriel gets two off a reverse DDT. Black’s top rope Lionsault hits knees though and Roode slaps on the Crossface, only to have Dutt come out for a distraction. It doesn’t work this time though as Roode puts the Crossface back on. Drew Galloway takes Dutt out and Black….is free because Roode let it go for no apparent reason. Black’s springboard is countered into the Roode Bomb for the pin and the title at 13:15.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but what does this title change mean? That would be nothing, because the title has no important lineage and has been thrown out there for some meaningless changes. It’s the old Russo idea that you can get people to care because the title changes without the idea of making people care about the title in the first place.

Post match GFW chases Roode off and Jeff rants about everything going on here. Cue Dixie and OH DEAR GOD SHUT UP! They’re going back and forth about stabbing each other in the back and all the mistakes each other has made like ANYONE cares. Jeff brings up his ownership stake and Dixie proposes a winner take all match. Jeff agrees and Drew Galloway comes out to be on Dixie’s team. Drew wants to stand up for TNA and the Wolves and Lashley come out to join him in Team TNA.

Dinero and Matthews talk about what just happened.

Here’s the returning Kenny King with a mic in hand. He’s been going through an identity crisis in the last year but now he’s just here on his own. Kenny doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who jumps someone from behind and uses a numbers advantage to beat someone down. He issues an open challenge to anyone from any roster to come fight him right now.

Bram vs. Kenny King

Bram goes right after King to start but Kenny takes him down with a nice dive. He tries it once too often though and eats a clothesline to give Bram control. King comes back with a running elbow in the corner, followed by an enziguri to put Bram in the corner. Bram ducks another dive though and the Brighter Side of Suffering gives Bram the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. So King comes back, turns face, and loses in less than four minutes. That being said, this match was nothing to see but it calmed me down a lot after the stupid hostile takeover stuff had me losing my mind. This was something different than that one big story, though it was stupid in its own way.

The Hardys say Matt will win the title. Has there been a more tacked on feud than this in recent years?

Here’s Velvet Sky with something to say. She’s been keeping to herself since she got back for a reason. The Knockouts division has been evolving constantly and so has she. The Dollhouse is out of control and Taryn is going to pay. Velvet tells Taryn to come out here but she comes up on screen to say how sick she is of being compared to Velvet as the hot blonde in TNA.

Taryn has been in movies and on TV but Velvet looks like a Hot Topic reject. This is Taryn’s house and now she has to play with Taryn’s dolls. Cue the Dollhouse, who quickly beats Tarn down. Angelina Love and Madison Rayne come out and yes, the Beautiful People are back.

Video on Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III in Full Metal Mayhem, which of course set up tonight’s regular match.

Dixie gives Team TNA their pep talk. It’s Lethal Lockdown in two weeks for full control.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Ethan is defending and if Matt loses, Jeff Hardy is Ethan’s personal assistant. Josh: “EC3 and Matt Hardy have been rivals for quite some time.” No Josh, they haven’t been. Feeling out process to start until Matt hits a running Diamond Cutter (called a neckbreaker) for two. A big clothesline puts the champion on the floor and it’s off to a break. Back with Carter missing a middle rope elbow but putting on a sleeper.

Matt fights up and nails some clotheslines, followed by the Side Effect. The referee gets bumped off the Twist of Fate attempt though and there’s no one to count. A belt shot to Matt’s head gets two because Matt WILL NOT DIE, which seems to be code for WILL NOT STOP DRAGGING OUT OBVIOUS ENDINGS. Jeff gets in a cheap shot on Carter to give Matt two but they ram heads and Carter falls on top for two. Tyrus grabs Matt’s leg and gets chaired by Jeff, only to have Ethan hit a TKO on Matt for two more. The referee gets distracted again and a low blow and sunset flip retain Carter’s title at 13:17.

Rating: C. Wow you know what that wasn’t? Epic. You know why it wasn’t? Because they did the big gimmick match three weeks ago and this company is too stupid to figure out that they shouldn’t do things in that order. The match was fine but I have no reason to care about Matt Hardy as a lame duck challenger before we get to the Bound For Glory and whatever they have planned there.

Jeff now has to work for Carter and is forced to raise the champ’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve sat through a lot from TNA over the years. I survived Immortal, THEY, all of Russo’s nonsense and Dixieland. Tonight, for the first time, I got mad at them over how bad things got. This invasion is one of the worst written, lamest attempts at doing something that I’ve ever seen. Case in point: if the blowoff is in two weeks, the whole story lasted five shows. Even the WWF InVasion, one of the most botched stories ever, ran several months before the big ending.

Instead, TNA has decided that we care about the power struggle (because they’re too stupid to run ANYTHING BUT A POWER STRUGGLE) between Jeff and Dixie, leaving Ethan Carter III, a guy who could have been a much bigger deal for them, fighting the Hardys in a midcard feud. We’re a month away from Bound For Glory and their big story is going to be blown off on TV two weeks beforehand.

If TNA is going down, and I’m sure they won’t because these morons somehow back their way into deal after deal to keep this mess going another six months, they’re going out as only they can: with no idea of how to run a good show, bad storytelling, stupid decisions, and the wrong people on top because those people think the fans care about them. This was a disaster and I absolutely hated it.

Results

Lashley b. Chris Mordetzky via DQ when the GFW roster interfered

Brian Myers/Trevor Lee b. Wolves – Lee pinned Richards after a briefcase to the head

Bobby Roode b. PJ Black – Roode Bomb

Bram b. Kenny King – Brighter Side of Suffering

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Sunset flip

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – August 5, 2015: One More Time

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is No Surrender as TNA presents another major show as a regular TV episode.  The main event will see Matt Hardy challenging for the World Title against Ethan Carter III in a Full Metal Mayhem match, along with Austin Aries vs. Rockstar Spud for the Rockstar moniker.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick Roddy Piper tribute. That’s nice of them.

Bram vs. Mr. Anderson

This has been a well built match with Anderson worrying about putting his career on the line against a monster like Bram. Bram has the microphone that he used to bust Anderson open a few weeks back. Anderson goes right after Bram to start and knocks him out to the floor with a clothesline. Back in and Anderson clotheslines him out to the floor again. This time Anderson clotheslines him on the floor to mix things up a bit but Bram is able to get in a few shots and take Anderson to the floor on his own terms.

Anderson gets dropped face first into the apron and Bram ties him up in the ring skirt for good measure. They’ve done a good job here of having Anderson try to wrestle and Bram sticking with the brawling. A chinlock has Anderson in more trouble but he fights up with right hands and the Regal Roll for two. Bram gets the same off a superplex as they’ve now switched their styles. An Edge-O-Matic and spinwheel kick get two each for Bram and now it’s his turn to hit some clotheslines. It’s microphone time for Bram but Anderson counters into a small package for the pin at 9:29.

Rating: C. I liked this one a lot more than I was expecting to but it wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Bram just being violent against midcarders has gotten him about as far as it can and now it’s time for him to have a major feud against someone. They told a decent enough story though and that’s really all that matters.

Bram nails Anderson with the mic and calls him Mr. Pathetic. That’s the best line they can come up with?

The Hardys talk about always defying the odds and promise Matt wins the World Title tonight.

Here’s James Storm to rant about his loss last week. There’s one man to blame for the loss and that’s Khoya. Storm demands that Khoya get out here because Storm got him out of that horrible country and gave him a life. He slaps Khoya in the face and that’s enough to make Khoya snap and lay Storm out. Khoya rants about how he’s proud of his heritage and is a proud Indian man named Mahabali Shera. Now, DO SOMETHING WITH HIM.

We recap Gail Kim vs. the Dollhouse, which sets up a three on one handicap match tonight.

Storm wants Shera tonight.

Gail Kim vs. Dollhouse

One fall to a finish and tags are required so Gail rolls away from Marti Belle to start. Taryn sends the lackeys after Gail to start but a glare sends Taryn running back to the apron. A dropkick to Jade’s back gets two as Pope starts reading tweets from fans. Jade gets two off a German suplex but heel miscommunication lets Gail take over again. A running tornado DDT plants Marti and Taryn runs off, leaving Gail to beat up both other members. The referee won’t count a pin on Jade because she’s not legal, even though all three are in at the same time. Eat Defeat is enough to pin Marti at 5:10.

Rating: D+. Hey, did you know that Gail Kim is like, a serious wrestler and doesn’t tolerate silly gimmicks? She’s basically Lance Storm and that’s not something I’m really all that interested in watching, especially not on and off for the better part of ten years. I don’t need to see her do the same feud she did with the Beautiful People, but that’s how the Knockouts work: someone new gets over and then here’s Gail Kim to remind everyone how great a wrestler she is while putting half the audience to sleep.

Drew Galloway talks about Eli Drake and how he didn’t build the Rising for one man to tear it down.

Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake

Grudge match after Drake cost Galloway the World Title a few weeks back. It’s a brawl on the outside before the bell with Drew in full control and dropping Drake on the floor. A clothesline off the step drops Eli again before they head inside for the opening bell. The threat of a Future Shock sends Drake running up the ramp but Drew is there with another clothesline.

Eli finally gets in some shots of his own to take over, allowing for some choking in the corner back inside. A release German suplex sends Drake flying into the corner. Drew: “STAND UP!” Like a good villain, Eli goes to the eyes and rolls Drew up with a handful of trunks and a hand on the ropes for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C. Nothing special here but Galloway and Drake are clearly stars of the future. The fallout of the Rising is already more interesting than the Rising ever was, which says a lot about how lame of a group they really were. I’m sure we’ll see these two fight again before Drew goes on to something bigger.

We recap Aries vs. Spud with Aries shooting his mouth off and putting his career on the line as a result.

Bobby Roode comes in to see Bully Ray (remember him?) and threatens to help Aries win tonight. Ray implies he’ll be at ringside to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Rockstar Spud vs. Austin Aries

The winner gets to keep the Rockstar moniker but Aries’ career is on the line as well. Aries quickly takes Spud to the mat for the Last Chancery but, as almost always, the move doesn’t work. A nice armdrag puts Spud down again and Aries nails a basement dropkick to send Spud into the corner. Aries keeps his full control with an STO, followed by the Pendulum Elbow for two. So are we just not getting Roode and Bully after that segment?

Back up and Aries charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a dropkick to the knee. Spud starts firing off some running forearms but the Underdog is broken up. Aries scores with a belly to back for two and we hit the Last Chancery again. That goes nowhere so it’s brainbuster time, only to have Spud small package his way out for two. This is really starting to pick up.

Some discus forearms rock the Rockstar and the brainbuster connects for two. Aries is stunned but Spud makes the big hero comeback. The big wind-up punch takes too long but the second attempt knocks Aries outside. A big flip dive takes Aries down again and a high cross body gives Spud a near fall. The Underdog is broken up but Aries sets him on top, only to be countered into a super Underdog to give Spud the pin at 11:20.

Rating: B. This started slowly but got much better as things kept going. Spud is awesome in the underdog role and Aries can make almost any match work. I can’t blame him for leaving though as there’s nothing left for him to do in TNA, especially since they’re not going to put him back in the World Title hunt anytime soon.

Aries raises Spud’s hand post match.

Post break, Aries and Roode say goodbye, saying they know they’ll both land on their feet.

Mahabali Shera vs. James Storm

Shera is in jeans. Storm takes him into the corner to start and shouts in his face. Shera will have nothing to do with these right hands to the face and makes his comeback, only to take the cowbell to the head for the DQ at 1:42.

Bully is down in the back.

Post match Jeff Jarrett comes in to see Dixie Carter, who is worried about Bully. Jeff offers to let Global Force help by offering to run the show for one week. Dixie isn’t sure but it seems to be a deal for next week. I guess this is where the invasion begins and for some reason I’m expecting this to be disappointing.

Ethan Carter III says he’ll retain the title tonight as Tyrus holds up the belt.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.

It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.

A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.

A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.

Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, TNA can do the big shows well enough but they’ll likely be back to the same dull stuff in a few weeks. If you believe the reports, none of this really matters as they’ll be off TV in less than two months anyway so at least we still had one good show on the way out. Their midcard continues to be lame, but the wrestling was good enough to carry things for a week.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Bram – Small package

Gail Kim b. Dollhouse – Eat Defeat to Belle

Eli Drake b. Drew Galloway – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Rockstar Spud b. Austin Aries – Super Underdog

Mahabali Shera b. James Storm via DQ when Storm used a cowbell

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Carter pulled down the title

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 22, 2015: TNA’s Epithet

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 22, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have a boss to counter the Reign of Carter now as Bully Ray was appointed the new man in charge last week. That leaves us in need of a new challenger as Kurt Angle is on the shelf, meaning we might be getting someone new in the main event scene. Other than that though, we have the fallout of Eli Drake turning on his former Rising teammate, Drew Galloway, after costing him the World Title last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with the announcement of the newest inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. In the biggest surprise of all time, it’s Jeff Jarrett. The video treats him like a demigod but at least it’s a name that belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Tonight we’ll be seeing the King of the Mountain match from Slammiversary, likely due to the Hernandez issue.

Bram vs. Magnus

This is a street fight joined in progress with Magnus chopping away. A superplex plants Bram again and Magnus boots him in the face. This has been one sided so far. Bram finally gets an opening as Magnus goes for weapons, allowing Bram to score with a cookie sheet shot to the head. Magnus comes back with some weapon shots of his own but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Spine Shaker only gets a close two. Bram hits Magnus low and grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:37, likely writing Magnus off TV.

Rating: C-. Well there’s a gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match, which is one of the last things you want to see in a wrestling company. At least there’s a backstory between these guys, but it’s been a good while since they were even feuding. Not a bad brawl, but I don’t know why it happened.

Post match James Storm comes out and tells Magnus that the partner is revealed tonight.

Here’s Eli Drake with his crutch. Drake keeps saying his name slowly so we all get it as he starts talking about finally being allowed to stand out here alone. Drew finally got Drake’s foot in the door here and Eli was grateful, but Drew would NEVER SHUT UP about the Rising. You had Mica nodding his head like the puppet he was but Drew kept trying to do the talking for him.

The fans might have been stunned at what he did, but they’re all like him. Everyone here has called in to work sick when they were fine. Everyone here has friends just because those people can get them things. There are women here who are with men justbecause they can pay their bills. Galloway will never be TNA Champion because Drake won’t let him, so here’s Drew to interrupt.

Drew talks about people thinking he’s older than he really is (he turned 30 last month) because he’s been around the world so many times. He’s been talking to the fans about what they want him to do, and the results are clear. The fight is on with Drake missing a crutch swing but taking Drew down with elbows to the back of the head. The Future Shock sends Eli running to the floor and they’ll fight another day. Drake has a very basic character but he plays it well and sounds confident. I dug what I saw here and hopefully he can back up the good presence in the ring.

Taryn Terrell interrupts a Pit Wars (Destination America show) plug by shoving over a grill and demanding her title back. The six sides of steel has been lowered and the Dollhouse gets inside. Taryn screeches a lot until Brooke comes out and says Taryn did all of this to herself. The fans are all that matters in this company and Taryn can’t stand when they chant for her. Brooke makes fun of the screaming and says Taryn must be mad at herself. Taryn goes after her but here’s Gail Kim in the cage to beat up Marti and Jade. Gail beats them up and stares at Taryn and that’s about it.

From Slammiversary 2015 (the full version instead of the clipped one):

King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.

Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.

Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.

Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.

Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.

Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.

Counting commercials, this ate up about 35 minutes of the show.

And now, a word from Tigre Uno to Donald Trump. Tigre talks about how awesome Mexico is and doesn’t like what Trump said. Trump is challenged to come to the Impact Zone next week to end a quick fluff piece.

We recap Mickie James and Magnus challenging James Storm to find a woman to face the two of them.

Here’s the Revolution to introduce the newest member of the team. Storm rants about how screwed up this country is and talks about trying to give Mickie as many chances as he could. The newest member of the Revolution is…..Serena, as in Serena Deeb. Serena talks about how she and Mickie used to be best friends, but then Mickie James became a star and left her behind. Serena was lost until she found James Storm, and now things are better than ever. Storm talks to the camera with a message for Mickie and Magnus’ son Donovan, telling him that this is the biggest mistake his parents ever made.

Eric Young vs. Rockstar Spud

Chain match, for reasons not clear. Young dominates to start and beats Spud with the chain before taking him outside for some whips into the barricade with the chain. Back in and more chain shots get two but Spud low blows Eric with the chain to take over. Spud goes after Eric in the corner but Young pulls the referee in the way, setting up a quick piledriver to pin Spud at 5:48.

Rating: D. There was no reason for this to be a chain match but at least they kept it short. Young being violent is far more acceptable than just calling him crazy over and over again, which was my major problem with his former character. Spud needs something better than this and hopefully that comes soon.

Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match for the #1 contendership. They quickly fight to the floor with Roode nailing a suplex onto the stairs. It’s already table time, but Roode just drops it onto Hardy instead of trying to put Hardy through it. Back in and Roode plants him with a spinebuster and chokes with the table legs, only to have Matt make a quick comeback. The moonsault through the table is broken up but neither guy can hit a finisher. Instead Matt backdrops him over the top and through the table for the win at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This was another short gimmick match that didn’t work very well due to the time they had to work with. What can you really do with a tables match in less than seven minutes? Matt and Roode barely have any reason to fight each other but hat’s what we get because of the whole Hernandez debacle. What does that have to do with this match? Well I’m glad you asked. You did ask didn’t you?

Overall Rating: D-. So here’s the thing: from what I can find, Bully Ray had announced the three gimmick matches you saw as a series to find four potential #1 contenders. That word “four” is the magic one here though, because Hernandez was involved in this original idea. My guess is that they had to cut the whole idea and ignore any reference to it to make sure Hernandez is never mentioned because, you know, TNA is stupid.

In other words, we’re stuck with two random gimmick matches and a WAY too long pay per view match before getting to a random #1 contenders match to end the show. Bad show, but again it’s due to the company’s management instead of the wrestlers themselves. That should be the company’s epithet: the company screwed up, not the wrestlers.

Results

Bram b. Magnus – Low blow

Eric Young b. Rockstar Spud – Piledriver

Matt Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Backdrop through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6