Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against James Storm. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago to put him out of action.

Here are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here. A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt. Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the floor.

This brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out. Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full of weapons. The match is later tonight.

We look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back, allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.

The BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.

Ad for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD release?

Storm sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud

Rematch from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs. Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to beat a ten count back up.

Back up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. Spud got beaten up for most of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.

Post break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.

Drew says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker) jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.

Video on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.

The BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.

Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Let the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts division.

Kong hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring. Taryn comes in to hammer on Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low bridging her to the floor. Kong shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.

Video on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.

Aries implies he’s cashing in tonight.

Jeff Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his face. That’s a bit excessive.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title #14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.

Angle did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.

This brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title, he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr. Anderson comes out to join in.

Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus

Joined in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Everything breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat. He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four for the submission at 7:26.

Rating: C-. This match was a good example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and build the anticipation.

Here’s Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the Impact Zone.

That’s what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying to kiss her instead.

Magnus gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man defending his family.

Angle says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He won’t be intimidated though.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Inside the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles. Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

Closing Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: C+. Fun match but there are some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore the parts that didn’t need to be there.

After a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier: we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and that’s more like Raw than anything else.

Results

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Small package

Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster

Eric Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson – Figure four to Aries

Jeff Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage

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Jokers Wild III
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is the old standard for TNA as this series has somehow reached a third year. Thanks a lot TNA for screwing up your pay per views so I have to sit through even more of these things. It’s another show with a series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match for money at the end. Maybe Matthews can save the commentary here. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard preview of the show that we’ve come to know and….I can’t imagine anyone looks forward to these things.

JB and Christy are drawing all of the names before each match. I won’t be mentioning any of these unless something of note happens. All matches are qualifying matches for the gauntlet match main event.

Robbie E./Jesse Godderz vs. Mr. Anderson/Al Snow

Hopefully this is the only required “random” pairing of a regular team. Anderson does Snow’s entrance: “WHAT IS EVERYONE INTERESTED IN??? WHAT DOES MR. ANDERSON REQUIRE???” Robbie pauses for a picture after the bell and says he wants Snow. The fans agree and we get Al vs. Robbie…..for five seconds until Robbie tags out. We’re still waiting on any significant contact until Snow slams Jesse a few times.

Off to Robbie who is terrified of Head. Snow takes him down into something like a Regal Stretch (arm trap STF) and pulls on his nipple. Anderson comes back in to crank on the arm (ignoring the nipple. So much for psychology) before it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the double team. It’s already SO much easier here with the announcers focusing on the match instead of talking about anything else.

Snow takes Robbie over to the corner and Jesse, ever the schnook, grabs his partner’s arm by mistake and works it over. The non-Bros (sisters?) steal the selfie stick to show Jesse what he did and tensions are teased. Instead we get a double noggin knocker so Anderson and Snow can stand tall. Back in and Robbie interferes, allowing Jesse to nail a dropkick before E. comes in to stomp on the arm for two. The hot tag brings in Snow and everything breaks down. Anderson sneaks Head in to Snow so he can knock Jesse silly, only to get rolled up by Robbie for a surprise pin.

Rating: D+. This was a decent enough match but hokey smoke does the commentary make it easier to sit through. I used to dread these shows because of how horrible Tenay and Taz were but again, Josh Matthews is his average self and it’s more than a huge improvement. The BroMans winning makes sense here and the less I have to watch Mr. Anderson be his run of the mill standard, the better I am.

The BroMans say they’re winning the $100,000 and spending it in one night.

DJZ/Samuel Shaw vs. Rockstar Spud/Awesome Kong

This could be a trainwreck. Thankfully this was taped less than a month before it aired so a lot of this is up to date, but unfortunately some is also ahead of schedule. For instance, Spud is bald here, a week before the hair vs. hair match took place. TNA goes Back to the Future? Spud is very, very happy with his partner. Spud and DJZ get things going and I really want to see DJZ hit on Kong.

They start with a basic cruiserweight style sequence until Spud dances in front of Kong. She tags herself in and actually gets caught in a headlock from DJZ, only to pull him down by the mohawk. Shaw comes in with a creepy mustache but Spud tags himself in to say that Kong is a lady. He stops Shaw from slapping her in the face and hammers away with some Popeye wind-up punches.

Spud gets double teamed in the corner as, get this, the announcers TALK ABOUT UPCOMING SHOWS TO MAKE US WANT TO SEE THEM. Not football, not references 8% of the audience will get, and not inside jokes. They actually do their jobs for a change and it’s just a step beneath glory. Kong gets the hot tag and cleans house with a crotch claw to Samuel and a chokeslam to DJZ, setting up the Jimmy Snuka/Andre the Giant shoulders splash for the pin on DJZ.

Rating: D+. Again this was fine and a big shorter than the first match. It’s still not a good match or anything like that, but Spud is almost always a highlight of these things, even when he has nothing to work with like he did here. Is Shaw even with the company anymore? I don’t remember the last time he was on Impact and I can’t say I’m complaining. The guy is just one idea that has been played to death.

Spud is terrified of Kong so she kisses him. He seems to like it and faints.

Ethan Carter III says luck is power. Luck is having stroke. Luck is having your aunt own the company. Last year he won the competition and burned the money at Burning Man because he’s awesome like that.

Davey Richards/Eddie Edwards vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

If this isn’t the longest tag match of the night, it’s a crying shame. Josh gets his facts wrong by saying Aries has the record for most X-Division Title reigns with six (Sabin had eight). Aries and Roode both try to go to the apron and then both start try to get in. I saw them team live once and they had the most entertaining match of the night.

We finally get down to Richards vs. Aries with Austin taking him down by the wrist. A series of tags leads to top rope elbows to the arm as the announcers talk about where the Wolves came up with their name. Apparently it has to do with teaming together in Wolverhampton, England. This leads to a quick discussion about JB being in that city before and it’s right back to talking about the match. Why does Taz have a job again?

The Wolves double team Aries in the corner and drop elbows on his back, only to have their double dive broken up by a double clothesline. We settle down to Roode dropping a knee on Richards for two. Aries slaps on the Last Chancery and the fans get behind the Wolves. That lasts all of three seconds before it’s back to Roode for a hard clothesline. Davey fights back out of the corner but the double teaming brings him back down.

The match gets a bit boring, so the announcers make predictions for the gauntlet. I love this new team. Aries and Roode keep tagging in and out for chops and punches in the corner. Davey finally comes back with the eternally stupid “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot and the hot tag brings in Eddie. Everything breaks down and Davey has to save his partner from a double suplex, setting up the German suplex into a jackknife cover for two on Roode.

Aries makes the save and sends Davey to the floor before hitting the running dropkick in the corner to Edwards. The Wolves headbutt out of stereo superplex attempts but miss stereo double stomps. The Roode Bomb and brainbuster are escaped as well, setting up stereo rollups for the pin. Eh I prefer monaural but this was good enough.

Rating: B. I think we can pencil this in for match of the night. Yeah it makes it very clear that the drawings are rigged, but this was so much easier to sit through than another comedy match with WACKY partners. There are better matches out there, but this is a classic by One Night Only standards. Good stuff.

Spud, with lipstick on his face, is with Kong and asks about room rates at Motel 6. Kong puts her arm around his shoulders. Spud: “Sup baby?” This cracked me up.

Ethan Carter III is chosen for the next match but has to say all the jokers here are in the audience. He has a pretty good feeling that he might be paired with Tyrus. “Christy, I’ll tumble for you if you tumble for me first.”

Ethan Carter III/Crazzy Steve vs. Tyrus/Knux

Well what are the odds of that? I’m getting a bit tired of thinking something like that over and over. Steve has a pair of Carter’s trunks on because he’s a painted up thief. He redeems himself a bit by doing Ethan’s pose. JB thinks Tyrus is going to lay down for his boss, which isn’t something an announcer just flat out suggests most of the time. Knux’s beard is now curled to either side like pigtails.

Steve and Tyrus get things going but Carter tags himself in to tell the big man to lay down. Tyrus won’t do it though as he could win $100,000….and it’s one finger to the chest for two as Knux makes the save. Steve comes back in to grab a rollup as this slow motion continues.

Knux picks Steve up and walks him around the ring, accidentally kicking Tyrus in the face. We get the Bushwhackers march until Steve rolls Knux up for two. It’s back to Tyrus (I don’t remember a tag in the last two minutes) who misses a splash in the corner, leaving Knux to punch Carter. A dropkick and cross body put Carter down but Tyrus nails Knux from behind to give Carter the pin.

Rating: D. I really don’t care for this kind of match and unfortunately this show feels like it was made by Vince Russo to get all these wacky finishes into three hours. It doesn’t help that they’re just throwing these matches out there and not even trying to hide that the draw is rigged. I’d love to see an actual random draw, just for the fun of it.

James Storm says tonight is a game of chances so even the Revolution aren’t friends and allies tonight.

Eric Young/Bram vs. Magnus/Tommy Dreamer

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I’ve sat through every show in this series and I get ERIC YOUNG AND TOMMY FREAKING DREAMER IN THE SAME MATCH??? My early guess: this match is going to suck. Magnus doesn’t even wait on his partner to get here (can you blame him?) and the fight is on in the aisle.

Now the double brawl is on in the aisle with Dreamer and Young going at it. It’s like my greatest nightmare come to life. Some people are scared of death. Some are scared of their loved ones getting hurt. I’m scared of Eric Young vs. Tommy Dreamer. Thankfully they switch off and start fighting in the ring for the opening bell with Magnus working on the arm…..and of course tagging out to increase the suck.

Bram comes in and gets caught in a spinebuster before Dreamer does a People’s Elbow. Seriously. If Tommy Dreamer is the People’s Champion, I’m defecting to the leeches and rodents. Eric breaks it up and Bram (in his violent pink trunks) hammers away on the floor before putting on a chinlock. Dreamer won’t let Young cover him so the heels tag behind the referee’s back to trade places. At least they were polite enough to make a tag.

Young hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about what the earlier winners do before they head to the gauntlet. This might be stupid, but it’s better than most of the nonsense I usually have to hear. Dreamer finally hooks an atomic drop and the hot tag brings in Magnus to clean house. Suddenly the match is so much less aneurysm inducing. Young gets thrown to the floor and Dreamer puts on a rooster hat. Well of course he does. Idiot. A fat splash gets two on Bram but Young kicks Tommy low to set up Brighter Side of Suffering from Bram for the pin.

Rating: D. Even though Eric Young sucks and I wouldn’t mind seeing him sacrificed to a pagan crocodile god, he’s much more in his element here with a brawling style and a match that means nothing. I get far more annoyed with him when he’s in the main event and World Title pictures, so throwing him in something like this is more acceptable. Dreamer needs to be thrown into the center of the sun. Maybe his tears about ECW dying can cool things down.

The Wolves enjoy being challenged and Eddie thinks the win was a good sign. That’s some serious insight.

James Storm/Gunner vs. Kenny King/Chris Melendez

Can we get a second match with no screwy booking? It can’t be that hard. Storm and King get things going before it’s quickly off to Gunner, who doesn’t seem to care for Kenny’s antics. They trade leapfrogs until King drop toeholds him down, only to run to the floor from an angry Gunner.

Melendez comes in to face Gunner and they’re nice enough to shake hands. Chris wants Storm but James bails to the floor as the fans tell him he has Herpes. Gunner finally tags out by slapping James in the face. Storm easily takes Melendez down and puts on a Figure Four to really hammer in the evil. If nothing else it proves which leg that hold hurts.

That goes nowhere so Storm and King mock saluting each other, drawing in Gunner to clean house. James tags himself back in but gets cut by some Melendez clotheslines. A tornado DDT gets two on Storm and everything breaks down. Matthews calls King an (uncensored) SOB for a cheap shot to Melendez. Storm sidesteps a horrible spear from Gunner which hits Melendez, giving James the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much to see but for the love of all things good and holy come up with a new way of booking these things. You can almost guarantee that you’ll have a team who has been together before or a team that is currently feuding, but in this case they doubled up on the lame booking.

Young says he and Bram love having extra opportunities to hurt people. Why not go jump on a pile of chainsaws to hurt yourself then?

Tigre Uno/Manik vs. Sonjay Dutt/Gail Kim

Well that’s certainly different. Feeling out process to start with Sonjay and Tigre trading dropkicks but Manik tags himself in. Sonjay cranks on a wristlock until Manik does a way too complicated flipping escape. Gail comes in and slaps Manik in the mask, only to get shoved down. She avoids a springboard missile dropkick though and does a springboard wristdrag with a headscissors to Tigre as a bonus. Back up and Manik throws her down by the hair but Gail puts on something like AJ’s Black Widow.

Everything breaks down and Manik cleans house to a polite smattering of applause. Manik rolls some suplexes on Sonjay as Matthews talks about being a potential X-Division talent back in the day. I think I’ve heard that before and it’s not the most thrilling idea for the division. Sonjay fights out of a chinlock and sends Manik into the buckle as the announcers discuss Grado. I still don’t get it. Kim comes back in and takes Tigre down with a headscissors, followed by Eat Defeat to both guys. Sonjay adds a top rope splash for the pin on Uno.

Rating: D+. Total spot fest here with no flow, direction or anything unique other than Gail being involved. I like it better than just having your standard match and Kim is more than good enough to hang in there with some guys, but the match was just a bunch of spots by guys that don’t seems like they know how to structure a match.

Lashley/Khoya vs. Abyss/Great Sanada

Well that’s one way to push Lashley. This is the last qualifying match. Lashley and Sanada get things started by trading wristlocks until Lashley plants him with a slam. Khoya won’t tag in though so it’s Lashley vs. Abyss. That’s fine with Lashley as he runs Abyss over as well before hitting a nice suplex for no cover.

Khoya drops to the floor to avoid another tag so Lashley hits a delayed suplex for two on Sanada. Abyss comes back in as the announcers talk about Gail Kim’s love of shoes. We get some stable miscommunication as Abyss hits Khoya by mistake and start slugging it out with Khoya getting the better of it. Both guys grab the other by the throat but Storm tells Khoya to come outside and then go to the back.

So it’s a handicap match now with Abyss splashing Lashley in the corner, followed by Sanada choking with some tape. That doesn’t knock Lashley out because this is wrestling, so Bobby gets up and starts cleaning house with clotheslines. Abyss’ chokeslam is no sold and Lashley spears both guys down for the pin.

Rating: D+. That was different and a good way to get Lashley over, but it’s still not a good match for the most part. On the other hand, the Revolution SUCKS. There are far too many people in it and I have no idea what the point of the team even is at anymore. This was another lame match but that’s almost required at this point.

Gauntlet Match

Basically a Royal Rumble with two minute intervals. Awesome Kong in at #1 and Gail Kim in at #2 for another SHOCKING twist. Gail hammers away in the corner but Kong tosses her down with ease. Some right hands drop Gail again and Kong stands on her hair. Jesse Godderz is in at #3 and offers to let the girls keep fighting. Gail forearms him in the jaw and dropkicks him in the corner, only to be thrown over the top and out to the floor. That earns Godderz a right hand to the ribs but AMAZINGLY, Robbie E. is in at #4.

Kong fights them both off again and no sells Robbie’s chops. The BroMans stand on her hands but Kong goes beast mode to shove them off as Rockstar Spud is in at #5. He cleans house with dropkicks and checks on Kong, who splashes the BroMans in the corner. Spud has to hang on to avoid an elimination but gets thrown to the floor through the ropes. That’s perfect timing as Ethan Carter III is in at #6 and the fight is on in the aisle.

They get back in and Carter sidesteps a charging Spud, sending him into Kong instead. The distraught Spud is eliminated and it’s the BroMans, Carter and Kong. All three guys team up to fail at eliminating her so here’s Gunner at #7. The BroMans double team him down as Kong misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor for an elimination. Eddie Edwards is in at #8 but the heels triple team him as well. There’s nothing to talk about in this match and Davey Richards is in at #9.

The Wolves start cleaning house with their wide variety of kicks. Carter gets splashed by all three good guys and gets thrown over, only to land on the steps for a save. James Storm is in at #10 to give us Storm, Gunner, Richards, Edwards, Robbie E., Godderz and Carter. Storm is fine with waiting at ringside as Carter begs him for help. That story lasts all of ten seconds before Storm gets in and adds to the incredible levels of dullness in this match.

Sonjay Dutt is in at #11 and is quickly Last Called and dumped. That’s probably good as he might have sped things up and gotten them interesting. Gunner gets a Last Call for an elimination as well. Crazzy Steve, still in Carter’s trunks, is in at #12 and tries to dump Carter until Storm makes the save. Eddie pulls Storm’s shirt over his face and chops away as Khoya is in at #13. We’ve got Khoya, Storm, Richards, Edwards, Carter, Steve, Robbie E. and Godderz at the moment.

Steve bites Carters fingers to send him to the steps again but Carter has some Kofi in him and makes a save. Bram is in at #14 and takes his time to stay away from the ring. That goes nowhere so Lashley is in at #15 to eliminate both BroMans and Khoya in short order. Storm chokes Lashley in the corner to slow him down and Eric Young is in at #16. No wonder this match sucks. Eric Young is the grand finale. The final group is Young, Steve, Lashley, Carter, Storm, Edwards, Richards and Bram.

Young piledrives Steve for an easy elimination and the Wolves clothesline Bram to the floor. The Wolves get rid of Storm as well but Young and Gunner dump both of them, leaving us with Lashley, Carter and Young. Bobby clotheslines both of them at once but Carter saves his makeshift partner. A double suplex makes Lashley look strong again but they send him to the apron for more stomping. That goes badly as well as Lashley low bridges Young out, leaving him with Carter. The 1%er is easily countered and Lashley nails a spear for the elimination, FINALLY ending this.

Rating: D-. The wrestlers clearly didn’t want to be in there and much like everything else tonight, it went so fast that they didn’t have time to develop anything. This match felt like it went on forever and you knew Lashley was winning (ok maybe Carter could have won it again) pretty much the second his music hit. It’s more boring than bad but that’s not really a big improvement.

Lashley gets the check and a three and a half minute highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. I had some slightly elevated hopes for the new commentary team, but they couldn’t save this. They’re light years better than Taz and Tenay and made the show a lot easier to sit through, but it doesn’t make what you’re watching really dull. This was two hours of goofy booking instead of just throwing out random pairings and making it a bit more interesting before a REALLY boring main event. It’s a one idea show and that idea is done in about the first half hour. The lack of effort really shows in these things and they lose their charm way too fast, including on this one.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 13, 2015
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Taz, Josh Matthews

Tonight’s show is about violence between rivals. There are three showdowns tonight and blood is a real possibility in all three. We have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in a last man standing match, Magnus vs. Bram and Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud in an old fashioned hair vs. hair match. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Last man standing. It’s a big brawl to start with Roode getting the better of it and knocking Young out to the floor for three. The fans want tables but stop to tell Young that he sold out. He also sucks but they don’t tell him that for some reason. Young punches Bobby in the mouth a few times, only to be backdropped on the aisle. Roode charges up the ramp for a clothesline and the announcers keep mentioning Roode turning his back on Young. It’s table time (hopefully it shuts them up for a bit) but we take a break before anyone goes through it.

Back with Young putting Roode down with a running neckbreaker and dropping knees to the chest. Another neckbreaker on the floor gets seven so Young whips Bobby into the steps to put him down again. Roode backdrops out of a piledriver on the steps and uses a cameraman to get to his feet. Both guys get chairs and it’s time for a duel, followed by a double clothesline to put them both on the floor.

They make it up and back in at nine with Roode getting all fired up first. Right hands don’t get Roode very far though as Young catches him with a piledriver for another nine. Some chairs to the ribs have Roode reeling but Young picks him up, only to get piledriven onto the chair. That’s still not enough so Roode loads up the Roode Bomb, only to have Young escape and both guys head to the apron. A Roode Bomb through the table is enough to put Young away at 19:38.

Rating: B. It was violent, it was intense, and I have no idea why they’re fighting. I thought about it for a bit and remembered it, only to realize I don’t care at this point. TNA knows how to set up a first brawl, but it takes them forever to get to the blowoff and by that point, the interest isn’t there anymore. Good brawl, but this really needs to end things between them.

JB tries to talk Spud out of the match tonight but Spud is going through with it because someone has to stand up to Carter. In Spud’s world, the good guys win.

Here’s Drew Galloway for a chat. He gets in the ring but decides that he feels better out in the fans where he belongs. Drew came here to give wrestling back to the fans, which means getting it away from people like MVP. MVP thinks he can come here and take over the company but that’s going to happen.

What is going to happen tonight is a match between MVP and Galloway, so here’s the BDC. MVP says he is god as far as Drew is concerned because he holds Drew’s life in his hands. Drew doesn’t get what he’s done but tonight he’s been chosen again. The fans don’t care for MVP but he asks the BDC to head to the back to make this one on one.

Drew Galloway vs. MVP

It’s a brawl to start with MVP getting the better of it and hammering away with right hands to the head. Drew gets choked on the ropes as we continue to see MVP’s offensive shortcomings. Both guys miss boots but Drew comes back with Future Shock, only to have the BDC run in for the DQ at 3:09.

Rating: C-. Better match for Drew this week but he still didn’t get to look very good. He certainly has a presence though and the standing up for wrestling idea is a good move. I’m not wild on the BDC though and MVP as the leader is only going to get them so far. Not bad here but it was barely rateable.

The beating is on post match and Joe hands Low Ki a pipe. Ki blasts him right in the forehead with it and the announcers barely react. Galloway is busted open.

Magnus tells Mickie James that he’s ready. He wants her to stay away from Bram though.

We recap Spud vs. Carter. They used to be friends but Carter blamed Spud for all of his problems and beat Spud up. This led to Spud growing a backbone and fighting against Carter. Both guys have tried to shave the other’s head tonight.

Recap of Bram vs. Magnus, which is a personal feud with Bram not liking the family man Magnus has become. This is the best thing Magnus has done yet, including his World Title win.

Bram vs. Magnus

It’s another brawl in the aisle to start with Bram taking over by sending Bram into the barricade. They get inside for the opening bell but Magnus clotheslines him right back to the floor. Bram is whipped hard into the steps but Magnus misses a charge, allowing Bram to send him into the post. A neckbreaker stays on the banged up neck and an Edge-O-Matic gets two. Magnus scores with a dropkick to put both guys down but here’s Mickie to ringside. Back up and Magnus hammers away with dropkicks and clotheslines, followed by the top rope elbow. Not that it matters as Bram kicks him low for the DQ at 5:23.

Rating: C. This felt like a preview for a bigger match down the road. Bram and Magnus have both gotten a lot better throughout this feud and they both have more places to go after this. Mickie didn’t really mean anything here but I don’t see her as being around long term anyway. Bram going after the neck made sense and it’s good to see that he can wrestle a regular match instead of just brawling.

Post match Bram finds the cue ball he used to hurt Magnus in the first place. He ties Magnus to the ropes but Mickie covers Magnus up. Thankfully Mickie remembers that she’s one of the best female wrestlers of all time and nails Bram but he grabs her by the neck. Bram tells Magnus to kiss his boot if Magnus wants him to let her go. She tells him don’t do it but Magnus kisses the boot anyway.

Brooke is walking through the back for her match with Robbie E. Nothing to this other than her walking, but this is an old Russo bit that I can’t stand. Big emotional moment in a well done segment…..and oh well it’s been ten seconds. Here’s a hot chick with a big grin on her face walking through the back for her comedy match. At least let the commercial break go through so we can let it sink in a bit more.

The BDC says that’s just the beginning for Drew.

Robbie E. vs. Brooke

DJZ gives Robbie a full boxing style entrance and Robbie comes out with Jesse and Angelina like he’s ready for a big fight. Robbie has a stool in the corner and shadowboxes to start. Brooke chases him into the corner so Robbie sits on the stool. Back up and Robbie shoves her down and cartwheels onto the stool again.

Brooke almost wins a test of strength and they run the ropes until she hammers away with forearms. Now she sits on the stool but gets distracted by Angelina, allowing Robbie to sit on the stool again. Robbie scores with a suplex but misses a middle rope splash. Brooke goes after Angelina though, only to duck Jesse’s dropkick and roll Robbie up for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: D+. If the worst thing I have to do is look at Brooke in her outfits, I have little issue with this show. This was a decent comedy match and there’s nothing wrong with Brooke pinning a schnook like Robbie. Good stuff, but it felt way out of place on a show built around violence like this.

Video on Angle returning to the ring for one last run at the title.

Video on Lashley’s training.

Rockstar Spud vs. Ethan Carter III

Hair vs. hair. Spud hammers in the corner to start and they head outside with Spud nailing a running dropkick up against the barricade. Back in and Carter just levels him with a clothesline to take over and we take a break. We come back with Carter crotching himself on the middle rope and getting dropkicked to the floor again. Spud nails him with a big flip dive off the top and both guys are down.

Cue Tyrus to powerbomb Spud on the floor but he somehow kicks out at two. Anderson comes out to hammer on Tyrus and Mic Checks him in the aisle. Carter makes the save and nails Spud in the head with the metal brace to bust him open. Back in and Ethan goes right after the cut to really bust Spud open, causing the blood to pour over Carter’s chest. Carter throws him out to JB’s feet so JB hits Carter low, allowing Spud to hit a Stunner for two.

We get the WWE black and white editing to prevent us from seeing blood, because if you turn blood black and white, no one knows what it is. Carter rams him face first into the mat but Spud Hulks Up and pounds Ethan down, setting up a running enziguri. A regular enziguri has Carter down again but the Underdog is countered, setting up another brace shot to the face for two. There is blood EVERYWHERE and Spud is a mess. The 1%er finally ends Spud at 16:48.

Rating: B. Great blade job by Spud here and the fans got into the comeback which is all that mattered. I don’t think people thought Spud was going to win here, but they did a great job of making you forget that Spud had next to no chance, and that’s all it needed to be. Good stuff here and they nailed the whole thing as well as they could.

Carter praises Spud post match and says maybe Spud could be a World Champion some day. He isn’t going to shave Spud’s head after that performance because Spud proved he was a man. Carter offers a handshake and holds the ropes open for Spud, but of course it’s a ruse and the beating is on. Carter: “NOT!!!!!” Spud gets tied in the Tree of Woe and we get the upside down haircut. Carter says this world is his to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. That was the best show TNA has put on in years. All of the brawls felt violent and intense and I can live with a five minute comedy match to fill in the time. That being said, TNA needs to find somewhere else to go after next week because MVP as the top heel is only going to carry them so far. The midcard is awesome right now, but they need to transition at least some of those guys up to the top of the company instead of getting into their old habits of letting the same guys do their same stuff over and over again. Still though, great show this week and worth checking out.

Results

Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb through a table

Drew Galloway b. MVP via DQ when the BDC interfered

Magnus b. Bram via DQ when Bram kicked him low

Brooke b. Robbie E. – Rollup

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 6, 2015
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

Coming out of last week, we seem to not have a #1 contender. Lashley successfully defended the title against MVP, though the match featured a lot of interference. Other than that we have the continuing stories of Mr. Anderson/Spud/Mandrews vs. Tyrus/EC3, which has gone from a comedy feud to one of the more entertaining feuds in the company. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with the Beat Down Clan getting close to taking the World Title from Lashley but Gunner and Drew Galloway made things even enough for Lashley to retain the belt.

Tonight it’s Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young for the #1 contendership.

Here’s the Beat Down Clan to get things going. Kenny King doesn’t want this Drew Galloway situation to get any further out of control. Drew is known as the Chosen One, but he choose to interfere in BDC business. I thought he was known as rhythm guitarist for some band with three guys. So now, it’s time for the BDC to choose what part of Drew they’re going to hurt.

MVP says this is Beat Down Clan business that was a year in the making. He arrived just over a year ago to become the World Champion but Drew got in the way. MVP is reasonable though and is willing to let Drew come out here and apologize. Galloway shows up in the crowd and says he’s at home right now. He came to the ring last week to stop MVP from stealing the title. He’s surrounded by wrestling fans, not sports entertainment fans.

Drew is here to give the fans a voice and asks some fans their names. Those are the people the BDC is screwing with and that isn’t going to fly. King says they demand retribution and threatens Galloway’s family if he doesn’t get in the ring tonight. Drew wants King one on one so King agrees to send his brothers to the back.

Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King

Both guys are in street clothes. King enziguris him down and MVP comes in for a few stomps. That’s not a DQ due to reasons not explained but Galloway comes back with knees in the corner and a snap suplex. King bails to the floor but Drew is fine with beating him up outside as well. He drops King over the barricade but King gets in some shots to the ribs to take over. A tilt-a-whirl slam onto the apron has King in even more trouble as this has barely been a match so far.

Back in and King drops him ribs first over the ropes and we hit the chinlock. An overhead belly to belly gets two for Kenny but Drew gets all fired up. He gets two off a top rope clothesline but King breaks up the Future Shock (snap double arm DDT). They need to go home already because this is getting bad. King hits a quick springboard Blockbuster for two more and frustration is setting in. He loads up a backslide of all things but gets countered into the Future Shock to give Galloway the pin at 6:25.

Rating: D. I really wasn’t feeling this one as they were just trading spots for a few minutes with no flow or structure to the match. Galloway is talented in the ring but having a big guy as the hero is always kind of awkward, especially when he’s in there against someone not very big. Not a good debut but at least Galloway won.

The BDC chases Drew off post match.

Here’s Roode to talk about the three way tonight. He promises to take out Young and get the title shot in one match. No one can stand in his way, but here’s Angle to disagree. He comes down to the ring but Eric Young sneaks in to go after Roode. Angle pulls him off and gets in a fight with Young, only to have Roode clear the ring.

Video on Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell for the Knockouts Title later tonight.

James Storm talks to Bram about joining the Revolution and asks him to take out Matt Hardy later tonight. Bram seems intrigued.

Before we go to a break, we get a video on the winner of tonight’s triple threat facing Lashley for the title in two weeks. They say his name over and over, show his picture, and show him winning the triple threat. I’ll avoid spoilers, but my goodness TNA, cut this nonsense out.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Matt Hardy vs. Bram

The bell never rings before they start fighting in the corner. Matt avoids a charge and hits the clothesline and running bulldog, followed by a second clothesline to send Bram outside. The brawling favors Bram of course and he takes over by driving Matt into the apron. Back in and some right hands set up a chinlock. Matt fights up and scores with a Side Effect, followed by a moonsault to the legs for two. Bram shoves the referee away though, setting up a low blow and the Brighter Side of Suffering (inverted DDT) for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. Just a quick brawl here but Bram joining the Revolution could be interesting. That being said, they need to actually do something with the team before it gets stale by just sitting there. This wasn’t much of a match though and I’m not wild on another DDT finisher from someone out of the UK.

Bram gets his wrench but Magnus runs down for the save. When Bram left him laying in an alley, Magnus had two choices: go home and hide, or be the kind of man that his son could be proud of. It’s personal now, and Magnus is going to make Bram’s blood stain the holy ground of England.

Spud promises Anderson that he’ll finish things with Ethan Carter III tonight.

Galloway says he’s tired of the Beat Down Clan dominating the show and he isn’t going to stand for it. He has an army in his corner and it begins tonight.

Recap of Spud vs. Carter.

Here’s Spud in a Union Jack flag to thank the fans for getting him through all these problems. Everything has to end though, so he’d like Ethan Carter III to come out here right now, face to face. That’s exactly what he gets with Carter in a suit of his own. Spud wants to end this man against man but Carter goes into his usual speech about his accomplishments.

That’s not what Spud wants to hear though as he tells Carter to shut up. Of course Spud knows everything about Ethan’s career because he was there with Carter every step of the way. If that’s so important to him, fight Spud one on one so he can end Carter’s streak. Carter agrees, provided that Spud puts up his hair. Spud agrees, but thinks Carter’s hair should be on the line too.

Ethan bends down to look Spud in the eye and says challenge accepted, but just remember one thing: in this world, the bad guys win. Carter goes to leave but Spud brings up all the times Carter told him he was a lion or a gazelle. Well he isn’t any of those things, because he’s a man. As usual, this is the best feud TNA has had in months if not years. I can’t believe I’m saying it but my goodness it’s awesome.

Eric Young video.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn is defending and goes right at Kong, only to bounce off the monster and hit the mat. Kong keeps pounding away and slams the champ down, only to miss a charge in the corner. Some right hands stun Kong for a few moments but the Taryn Cutter is shrugged off. The second attempt goes just as well but Kong shoves the referee away for the DQ at 4:15.

Rating: D. This was angle advancement instead of a match and that’s fine. They were clearly setting up the big showdown later on, but this protected Kong at the same time. The problem with someone like Kong is you have to either give her the title or beat her and end her credibility. It’s hard to grade this as a match though as it was basically a squash until the storyline ending.

Taryn gets beaten up post match but Gail Kim runs out for the save.

Video on Davey Richards turning down the Revolution’s offer to join, setting up a rivalry between the teams.

Bobby Roode video.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Abyss/James Storm

The Wolves are challenging but get jumped by the rest of the Revolution during their entrance. We get the opening bell and everyone brawls in the ring with the Wolves sending Storm into Abyss and making the monster DDT his leader. I really, really hate that spot. Things settle down to Abyss hammering Richards down but missing a splash. Manik pulls Edwards down to the floor to break up the hot tag though and it’s off to Storm.

The Revolution tries to double team but Richards crawls between Storm’s legs for the hot tag to Edwards. Eddie starts cleaning house but eats a Backstabber and the Eye of the Storm for two. Cue Matt Hardy to stare at the rest of the Revolution, allowing Eddie to grab an O’Connor Roll for two. Storm grabs a jumping neckbreaker and tags in Abyss, only to have him get sent to the floor.

The Wolves hit three straight double dives to take out everyone not named Storm but Edwards kicks him down. Manik and Sanada sneak in but Sanada mists Manik by mistakes. Abyss tries to bring in the cowbell but Matt comes in with a Twist of Fate, setting up the top rope stomps from the Wolves (dubbed the Hammer of the Gods) for the pin at 8:15.

Rating: C-. Good night this was a mess and I was losing track of everything by the end. TNA really needs to cut down on the mass carnage and interference in their matches because this isn’t making things any better. The Wolves winning is fine, but three things: who do they defend against, what is the point of the Revolution at this point, and HOW BLIND IS THE REFEREE??? You had all that interference, a cowbell and MIST but he never calls a DQ? Really?

Post break, Matt endorses the new champs.

Spud vs. Carter in the hair vs. hair match is next week in London. Magnus vs. Bram as well.

Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

One fall to a finish and the winner gets a title shot in two weeks. More on that later. For the third of five matches tonight, we have a brawl before the bell with Roode and Young beating each other up on the floor. Roode sends Young into the aisle before coming back in for a suplex from Angle. Eric gets back in and tries to German suplex Roode but Bobby grabs the referee. Instead it’s a neckbreaker to put Roode down as Angle is sent to the floor.

Young stays in control but gets small packaged for two, only to take Roode’s head off with a clothesline. A superplex on Roode is turned into a Tower of Doom with Angle powerbombing both guys down. Angle rolls a ridiculous ten Germans on Young but Roode counters the Angle Slam into the crossforehead. That’s countered into the ankle lock (probably because it wasn’t pulling back on Angle) but Roode rolls through into a crosseyes.

Young makes the save but takes the spinebuster from Roode, who gets Angle Slammed for two. There go the straps and Angle puts Young in the ankle lock but Eric makes the ropes. Angle rolls through the Roode Bomb into another ankle lock, only to have Roode roll through and bump the referee. Young hits Roode in the head with a chair, only to have Angle kick him down and hit the Slam on Roode for the title shot at 8:41.

Rating: C-. There were some major issues with this match. First and foremost was Eric Young, because he sucks. He makes things that shouldn’t possibly suck suck. Like an air pump that blows air into things. Eric Young could make it suck. You put Eric Young’s face on the New England Patriots’ jerseys? They suck.

Eric Young is appearing at a frat house and giving away free beer? The frat boys would go to church and drink orange juice instead because Eric Young sucks. Eric Young sucks. He sucks on trains, he sucks on cars, he probably sucks on orange flavored popsicles. Why would he do that? Because orange flavored popsicles suck, just like Eric Young.

So yeah, Eric Young sucks. Other than that though, this match needed to go longer to live up to the hype this match had been given in the show. It’s another short match that didn’t have the time to get anywhere because TNA has to pack everything they can into a single show and fit in all their promos that don’t advance anything.

There’s one last thing that held this match back though: TNA spoiled the ending. Yeah, earlier in the night there was a preview for the March 20 show. Here’s a paraphrased version of the audio. “KURT ANGLE has battled back to the top of TNA (with a clip of Angle pinning Roode) and is now the top contender to the World Title. On March 20, Angle will challenge TNA World Champion Bobby Lashley. Don’t miss this huge clash.”

So all that drama that they could squeeze in to the less than nine minutes they could give this match? Totally worthless, as they had given away the ending already. They did this a few weeks back when Lashley was in Lethal Lockdown. This is something they REALLY need to work on. You could easily have switched the audio to “WHO WON???” and the problem is solved. But it’s TNA, where the most basic things are difficult but having an entertaining show is becoming more common.

Lashley comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was the end of the run of really good shows but it was still good. Here’s the thing TNA still has over Raw at the moment: they set stuff up, give it a good build, then mostly deliver on it (after spoiling it half the time). WWE is the opposite as they have a bad build but the payoff is usually good. They need to slow things down though and let some of the matches stretch out. That’s making the shows feel like Attitude Era episodes: they go by so fast that I can’t tell if it was good or not.

The other major issue here is the lack of a focus. So Galloway is now feuding with the entire BDC, the Revolution is….I think feuding with the Hardys and Wolves, Bram might be joining the Revolution and is feuding with Magnus, and we’re getting Roode vs. Young again because they’ve been feuding so now they keep feuding? There’s good stuff in TNA right now, but they feel like they’re holding things together with some strong duct tape. That’s only going to last so long and this episode showed some cracks.

Results

Drew Galloway b. Kenny King – Future Shock

Bram b. Matt Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering

Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong via DQ when Kong shoved the referee

Wolves b. Abyss/James Storm – Hammer of the Gods to Abyss

Kurt Angle b. Bobby Roode and Eric Young – Angle Slam to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Turning Point
Date: January 9, 2015
Location: John Paul Jones Arena, Charlottesville, Virginia
Attendance: 430
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Believe it or not they’re actually changing things up here with a series of matches instead of some tournament or series of qualifying matches for a gauntlet at the end of the show. There doesn’t seem to be an overarching theme for the show but they’ve come up with some random ideas before. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the people appearing on tonight’s show without a voiceover. I can’t imagine all these people will be on the card.

We immediately go to a clip of X-Division Champion Rob Van Dam defending against Kenny King from Impact on February 23, 2013 with Van Dam missing a 450 splash and King hitting the Royal Flush for the pin and the title. This explains the theme: we’re going to see clips of the turning points of everyone’s career.

Samoa Joe’s career turning point is beating Kurt Angle for the World Title at Lockdown 2008. These clips are two to three minutes each and seem to be used to fill in time.

Kenny King vs. Samoa Joe

The arena looks incredibly small, even though the record attendance is over 15,000 people. As a result, the lights are turned way down and only the first few rows can be seen. Joe grabs a wristlock to start but King bails to the ropes and then the floor. Back in and King quickly takes Joe down with some nice spins and flips before heading outside to brag about it. Even Joe gives him a nod to say “well done”. Joe sends him into the corner for the enziguri and running knee drop for two.

Tenay and Taz are already on their tangents as King hits a great looking springboard Blockbuster for two. We hit the chinlock as Tenay is actually trying to get the commentary back to something pertinent but Taz uses the opportunity to brag about himself. A spinwheel kick gets two more for Kenny and we hit the son of the chinlock. Joe fights up and catches King in an atomic drop. The backsplash and snap powerslam get two each. A nice Pele puts Joe down but King charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner, setting up the Muscle Buster for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C-. I have a very bad feeling about this show as they were only going through the motions out there. There are two versions of Samoa Joe: the guy that took TNA by storm about ten years ago and the version where he has no interest in being out there. There’s almost no in between the two either, so you’re either getting the good or the bad. This was more of the latter as Joe was just doing his greatest hits instead of really trying. King was his usual self as well, meaning the match was passable but nothing I’d ever want to see again. In other words, this is going to be your run of the mill One Night Only shows.

Music video on the Beautiful People, Gail Kim and Madison Rayne. I guess this is the substitute for their turning points, though it seems to be more of a standard hype video.

Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

The fans are behind Gail here but Angelina insists she get to do her dance before things get started. That earns her a forearm to the jaw as the announcers make fun of Earl Hebner’s age. Love gets knocked to the floor and Rayne rolls Kim up for two. Kim escapes the scissor stomp (Rayne’s move where she slams someone’s face into the mat) and knocks Angelina to the floor.

Back up and Kim hits the running cross body to the ribs in the corner but Angelina pulls her down to the floor. It settles down to Madison vs. Angelina as the match gets back to your standard Impact Knockouts match. Love pulls on Madison’s hair while putting a boot in her back, only to get rolled up by Gail for two. A hot shot onto the buckle puts Kim down again as this match is in the “two in one out” formula. Love puts her in the Tree of Woe to give us a Kevin Sullivan reference.

Madison finally remembers that she’s in the match by tripping Kim but gets in a fight with Love over who gets the pin. Now the announcers talk about the Jumping Bomb Angels to keep up the joke that Hebner is old. Kim puts Madison in a headscissors but Love puts Kim in a full nelson but with her legs. Taz: “It’s like one giant, hot worm.” Tenay drops the required Scotty 2 Hotty joke. The hold is broken up and Kim dropkicks both girls down at the same time for two each. Angelina’s Botox Injection takes Madison down but Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 8:56.

Rating: C. Oh yeah this is a One Night Only show. This was another watchable yet uninspired match with the standard triple threat formula in full swing. These three plus Velvet have been around the division for so long that it’s hard to care about seeing them again. We’ve seen each combination so many times that just throwing most of them together doesn’t do much for me. The match was fine but again, nothing I’ll think about ten minutes from now.

Austin Aries says he’s had a lot of turning points in his career, starting with a phone call asking him to come down for a tryout. Then he became the longest reigning X-Division Champion and cashed it in with Option C. Sanada’s turning point was when he turned his back on Great Muta. Sanada’s turning point tonight will be his last.

Video recapping Muta mentoring Sanada until James Storm got in Sandad’s head and turned him to the dark side.

Austin Aries vs. Great Sanada

This is the third time these two have fought on One Night Only shows. Storm is at ringside with Sanada. Tenay and Taz build this up as a huge rivalry and for once they’re actually on point. Sanada hammers him down in the corner to start but Aries is perfectly capable of brawling with him. Aries runs Sanada over with a shoulder but Storm trips him up to stop the momentum. That’s enough for an early ejection and we’re getting a one on one match.

It’s still Aries in control with the slingshot hilo and an elbow drop for two. A middle rope dropkick to the back of Sanada’s head gets two more and one to the face sends Sanada to the floor. He’s shaken up but not bad enough to avoid a plancha to send Aries crashing to the concrete. The announcers actually get into an interesting discussion of the difference between American and Japanese training. Discussions like that make their usual commentary so much more frustrating because it’s clear they can be interesting but just don’t do it. Sanada chokes away back in the ring and throws Aries back to the floor to keep control.

Aries comes up holding his arm so Sanada sends him into the steps a few times. Back in again and a springboard chop to the head gets a few two counts for Sanada as he’s starting to get frustrated like any heel would in his situation. Sanada gets caught choking with wrist tape so he throws Aries outside again.

A Saito suplex gets two on Austin and it’s off to the chinlock. You know, I wonder why so many people use chinlocks over the years. Wouldn’t you think they would pick up on the idea that they ALWAYS lead to a comeback? I mean, it’s one of the few universal truths in wrestling but they always do it and seem surprised when it doesn’t work. Almost on schedule, Aries pops up but Sanada puts him back down with a slam.

The moonsault is broken up as Aries takes the legs out to send him face first into the buckle. Now it’s Aries sending Sanada to the floor but he bites Aries’ finger to slow him down. That’s quite the intelligent counter. Sanada comes back in with a springboard but Aries mistimes the dropkick to knock him out of the air, meaning Sanada has to bail out for no reason and the whole thing looked bad.

Aries neckbreakers him over the middle rope and dropkicks him into the corner. Sanada escapes the brainbuster but gets taken down by a nice plancha. Back in and Aries goes up, only to have Storm come down and shove Aries off the top. As usual the announcers ruin the moment by making it sound like the least interesting thing they’ve seen in months. Sanada superkicks Aries for the pin at 15:35.

Rating: B. Hit and miss commentary aside, this was one of the best matches this series has ever had. These guys know how to work together so well and they were showing off out here. I was hoping for a clean finish but this version plays into the Revolution idea, which is the more logical ending. Really good match, as I’ve grown to expect from these two.

We look at Ethan Carter III beating Sting at Genesis 2014, with a major assist from referees Spud and Magnus.

Ethan brags about beating all the legends, such as Norv Fernum, Shark Boy and Dewey Barnes. Oh and Bully Ray, Sting and Kurt Angle. He’s been part of a loss, but it was Spud getting pinned in a tag match. Ethan blames Spud for his aunt going through a table, but tonight is Spud’s chance at redemption.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner/Mr. Anderson

The curse of taped in advance strikes again. Anderson shrieks his intro this time to scare the announcers, triggering a Motley Crue discussion. Carter and Anderson get things going but Spud tags himself in before any contact. With Anderson closing in, Spud tags out to Carter. Spud: “I got in his head sir!”

We finally settle down to Anderson and Carter trading wristlocks until Anderson armdrags him down into an armbar. Gunner tags himself in but gets pulled down by the hair. It’s off to a terrified Spud but he tags right back out to Carter. As the announcers talk about reforming the Rockers because they think their job is to riff on wrestling matches, Gunner misses a charge at Carter in the corner, allowing for the tag to Spud for a bunch of lame forearms to the back.

Gunner no sells being rammed into the buckle so Spud tries it himself, knocking himself silly in the process. Spud chops his partner by mistake, but that counts as a tag. The boss isn’t happy and chops Spud down, only to get caught in a double hiptoss. Everything breaks down for a minute with both villains ramming Anderson into the apron.

Back in and Carter puts on a chinlock for a few moments before Anderson kicks away and tags Gunner. He throws Spud at Carter but it turns into a big hug. What else were you expecting? Everything breaks down again with Spud accidentally knocking Carter to the floor, setting up a Mic Check and flying headbutt for the pin at 11:26.

Rating: D. The Spud comedy match is getting played out and it’s gone downhill ever since the first match with Ray. Spud and Carter work well together, but it’s kind of hard to laugh at them after seeing them feuding so heavily over the last few months. The wrestling was an afterthought to the comedy, but it was really just dull outside of a few funny lines from Spud.

Video on Eric Young overcoming people saying he was just a comedy guy and becoming World Champion. He tells a very good story about how surreal it was when the title was presented to him and the adrenaline that flowed through him when reality set in.

As soon as the three count went down, Magnus was immediately thinking about how he could get the title back. He has to get back on the horse.

Magnus vs. Eric Young

Young is back to being goofy and checks the referee for weapons. There’s no opening bell for this match. After a forty second long crisscross, Young holds onto the ropes and Magnus keeps running. Oh yeah we’re in a comedy match. Young takes him down into a headlock and is so pleased with it that he does it two more times in a row. Magnus tries a waistlock but gets sent to the floor in frustration. He counters Eric’s baseball slide by catching him under the ring skirt and hammers away to take over.

Back in and a knee to Eric’s ribs sets up the chinlock. An elbow to the back has Young in trouble but he’s able to strut down the apron. Magnus, apparently not a Flair fan, puts on the sleeper before switching it up to a chinlock. A belly to back suplex finally gets Young out of the hold and a belly to belly gets two on Magnus. They trade rollups for two each before Magnus puts him on top, only to have his superplex broken up. Young drops the top rope elbow for two but Eric’s piledriver is good for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: D-. We went from lame comedy to a long series of chinlocks before getting to the finish where a guy that gets on my nerves wins. This was the weakest match they’ve had all night but it was more due to how it felt like they weren’t trying. Unfortunately that’s the case with most of the matches on these shows and it gets tiring in a hurry.

We look at the history between Bram and Abyss, focusing on all of their violent matches, primarily Monster’s Ball.

Abyss vs. Bram

Bram grabs the mic and says Abyss is lucky this is a normal match. Abyss says he’s the 6’8 350lb weapon of mass destruction and wants to make this Monster’s Ball, which is reluctantly accepted. The bell rings and we’re already bringing in the weapons. They slug it out on the floor with Bram slowly sending him into the post. Abyss reverses a whip to send Bram much harder into the steps. More weapons are brought in as this is strictly following Monster’s Ball procedure.

Abyss knocks a chair out of Bram’s hands and nails him in the ribs with a kendo stick. Bram cracks him over the head with a trashcan and it’s table time. I’m so glad all these weapons were under the ring just in case a Monster’s Ball match was signed on the fly. The table is set up in the corner but Abyss would rather hit Bram with a chair than send him through the wood. Bram blocks a running Earthquake splash by raising a chair and both guys are down.

The monster gets busted open by a few chain shots but he low blows Bram to knock the pry bar out of his hand. Of course, this warrants a discussion of basketball. Janice is brought in but Bram hits the worst looking spear into a table I’ve ever seen. The table gives a bit but doesn’t break and Abyss is up at two. Back up and Abyss sends him head first into a chair in the corner but a chokeslam sends Bram out to the floor. Back in and Abyss loads up a Janice shot but gets rolled up with Bram grabbing the ropes for the pin at 10:57.

Rating: D+. This was every Monster’s Ball match you’ve seen in the last few years but toned down a bit. Much like the Knockouts match earlier, I’ve seen these two fight time after time in hardcore match after hardcore match and I really don’t need to see it again. Nothing to see here and it’s another match of the same length keeping the show at the same dull pace.

We recap Roode vs. Storm, which you should know by now. They were friends, the World Title split them up, they’ve feuded over and over and over again since.

Storm says he doesn’t care what the fans think while Roode dies on every word they say. I don’t think they’ve ever had Storm as the heel in this feud.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm has a mic in his hand. Tenay: “Something tells me we’re going to hear from James Storm.” James doesn’t want to fight because Roode can see the light and be part of the Revolution. Storm won’t die for a brotherhood, but he’ll live for a revolution. This doesn’t sit well with Roode, who says Storm isn’t the same man that he knew back in the Beer Money days. The answer is no so Storm decks him with the microphone and we’re off to a fast start. Also, the referee is fine with Storm hitting Roode with a foreign object before the bell.

Roode fights back and clotheslines Storm to the floor before hitting another on the outside. There’s a drink to Storm’s head and a knee drop gets two back inside. Storm tries to play some mind games and the distraction lets him send Roode right back to the floor. That goes nowhere so we hit the chinlock as the match slows down again. A low DDT gets two more for Storm but Roode sends him into the buckle to get a breather.

The Blockbuster only gets two and Roode escapes the Eye of the Storm for good measure. Storm kicks out of a spinebuster and dives off the middle rope for a Codebreaker. Instead of covering off a good looking move, he misses the Last Call and has to get out of the Roode Bomb. Now the Eye of the Storm connects for two but the referee takes the bottle away. Storm misses another Last Call and the Roode Bomb is good for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C. I know this is one of the biggest feuds in the history of TNA but COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW! How many times do I have to sit through the same missed finishers and a beer bottle playing into the finish? It was one match over three years ago and they’ve used that exact same idea time after time now with the same two guys and almost always the same ending. Either stop having them fight or come up with a new formula. And can Storm win one for a change? Other than Bound For Glory, I don’t ever remember him beating Roode. They’ve fought four times at One Night Only alone and Roode is 4-0.

Jeff Hardy’s turning point was beating Austin Aries at Bound For Glory 2012.

MVP praises Jeff Hardy (because everyone in TNA respects everyone else. You almost never hear a promo without someone praising their opponent. Give us some more hatred.) but says he owns both Hardys. Jeff has had his ups and downs, his turning points if you will, but tonight Jeff is taking a turn for the worse.

We get a clip of MVP turning heel by attacking MVP and becoming yet another corrupt authority figure.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

JB does big match intros and calls this the Turning Point main event of the evening twice. MVP bails to the floor just after the bell to put JB in charge of the jewelry. After a minute on the floor (and somehow not even a one count from the referee), MVP heads back to the apron for more stalling. Jeff starts clapping and they lock up nearly two minutes in. A headlock has MVP in trouble but he shoulders Jeff down with ease.

The threat of a Twist of Fate sends MVP bailing again. He back in and goes back out again to make the fans hate him even more. Hardy won’t let MVP leave and takes him out with a big dive to try to wake the fans up. Back in and Jeff gets crotched going for the Whisper in the Wind, sending him out to the floor for a change. MVP sends him into the barricade a few times and Hebner is more than willing to count Jeff. Racist.

Back in and a big boot gets two for MVP and he follows up with right hands. We hit the chinlock because what else would you expect them to do? The Ballin Elbow gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop. Jeff starts his comeback and gets two of his own off a basement dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but MVP counters the Twist of Fate into the Playmaker for another near fall. He tries the same move but this time Jeff counters into the Twist, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 16:05.

Rating: C. The problem here is there’s no reason for these two to be fighting, and a match based around MVP stalling for five minutes isn’t really going to get the job done. It’s certainly not bad and the ending sequence was pretty good, but there’s nothing here worth going out of your way to see. I know I’ve said that several times but it’s the only thing that keeps sticking out to me.

Celebrating and a highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. That highlight package was very telling. By the time I was done with this show, I had already forgotten a lot of the earlier matches on the card. That really shouldn’t be happening on a show that doesn’t even make two hours and forty five minutes. The wrestling is mostly acceptable here and the show isn’t the worst, but there’s no reason to want to watch it. That’s the case with so many of these shows: they’re clearly just filling in contractual requirements and the lack of effort and story really drags these things down.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 12, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

And so, it ends. Well at least on SpikeTV. Tonight is the last episode of Impact Wrestling on the major network before it takes two months off and returns on a network in about 40 million less homes. To be fair though, it’s better than no network at all…..in theory. Tonight is about setting up Roode vs. Lashley III so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Roode taking the title from Lashley a few weeks ago, followed by Lashley being driven insane by not being champion.

Here’s Roode to get us going. He talks about having a few real friends in wrestling and two of them are Eric Young and Austin Aries. Now Lashley is going around trying to put those two out of wrestling. If Lashley wants a shot at the title, he can certainly have one, but not tonight. Tonight isn’t about the World Title or professional wrestling. Instead it’s about fighting with no referee and no rules. Roode calls Lashley out right now and the fight is on in the aisle. They fight into the stands and Lashley misses a big chair shot. Security breaks them up after only a few seconds though.

Ethan Carter says he’s giving Spud a chance to prove that he’s a man tonight.

The next show on SpikeTV is in two weeks on December 3 for a best of the year show.

Video on Havok’s dominance, which has spanned about five matches. Taryn and Gail are ready to slay the best.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defend and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

MVP rants at Kenny King about being called a manager. King sounds pleased.

Recap of Joe vacating the X-Division Title last week. There’s a fourway for the title later tonight.

Recap of the opening brawl.

Roode isn’t going to let his friends get taken out or be intimidated by Lashley. Now the champion is challenging Lashley to a fight. Didn’t he do that already?

Kenny King vs. Chris Melendez

Melendez shoves him into the corner to start and King mocks the mechanical leg. Chris finally hammers away but walks into an elbow in the corner. A hiptoss sends Kenny to the floor but he jumps up and kicks Chris in the face. Melendez gets snapped down across the top rope but Chris comes back up with a mechanical kick to the chest. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Chris and he kicks King in the face, only to have MVP come in with a chair for the DQ at 5:05.

Rating: D. I probably should but I just do not care about Chris Melendez. It’s amazing how he’s come this far, but after you get over the shock of seeing someone being able to do this, he’s just a green wrestler that can’t do much in the ring yet. The match was nothing special and just there to set up stuff (likely a tag match) for the future.

MVP goes after Chris’ good leg until Mr. Anderson makes the save.

Spud agrees to meet EC3 tonight.

Melendez is sent to the hospital but Anderson wants revenge. Kurt Angle says he’ll deal with it.

Here are EC3 and Tyrus to address Spud. Carter likes the idea of Spud trying to come across the pond and make himself big. Along the way Spud has picked up some friends like Eric Young, who is now in the hospital and Jeremy Borash, who Carter slapped so hard that the entire Borash family died. Well tonight, Spud can fight Carter for one night only. Cue Spud in a suit that looks like a brick wall (seriously) and Carter even has Tyrus go to the floor.

Spud gets right in his face and Ethan offers a free shot but Spud can’t do it. Instead he kicks Carter low and then hits him in the face as the brawl is on. Carter gets the better of it and takes Spud down as the fans tell him that he can’t wrestle. Spud pulls himself up but Carter lets him go from the 1%er. Spud pulls himself up again but Tyrus comes in for the Tongan Death Grip into a clothesline. Now Ethan (busted open a bit) gets a mic and threatens to rip Spud apart until he decides to stop. First up, Ethan cuts off some of Spud’s hair and holds it up like a trophy. Nice segment here.

Angle yells at King but gets jumped and beaten down by MVP. Even King thinks that was too far.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

Hardcore of course. They start in the aisle as Dreamer looks older than ever. Bram slams him down on the ramp and nails Tommy with a trashcan. Dreamer is already busted open so Bram fires off more right hands, only to get sent into the post. Tommy hits Bram with the old WWE spinner US Title for a bizarre moment. We take a break and come back with Bram sending Tommy face first into the steps.

Back in and we hit a chinlock before Dreamer gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charge. Some kendo stick shots and Russian legsweep gets two for Tommy and he crotched Bram on an opened chair. A clothesline knocks Bram out of the chair for two and Tommy ties him in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer shouts T-N-A and hits a basement dropkick into a trashcan but Bram counters the DDT with a legsweep.

The top rope elbow with the chair is blocked with a raised boot and Dreamer’s DDT gets two more. Now it’s a barbed wire chair but Magnus runs in with a Rock Bottom to plant Dreamer. The Brits load up something else but Al Snow of all people runs in for the save. Dreamer gets up and grabs the cheese grater as Snow punches Magnus up the ramp. Bram’s cut is grated open even worse but he comes back with a low blow and sends Tommy face first into the barbed wire chair in the corner. An inverted DDT pins Dreamer at 14:54.

Rating: F. It got fifteen minutes, Bram needed help to beat Tommy Dreamer, Al freaking Snow ran in (wearing wrestling gear for some reason) and Tommy Dreamer is STILL ON MY TV IN 2014. I would love to know what Dreamer has on the management of this and all those other wrestling companies he works for because it must be gold.

Angle is going to deal with MVP once and for all.

Sheera asked Manik what he needs to do to get Storm to like him. Manik tells him to awaken.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Low Ki vs. Tigre Uno vs. Manik

The title is vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Tigre and Manik fight to the floor, leaving Low Ki to kick DJZ across the ring but Manik comes back in to jump Ki. DJZ dropkicks both of them down as Tigre comes back in to speed things up. A quick dropkick gets two for Uno but Manik suplexes him down and puts on a surfboard. As he has Tigre in the air, DJZ covered Manik, only to have Low Ki hit a Warrior’s Way onto Tigre, crushing everyone else at the same time for a scary looking landing.

Manik charges into Low Ki’s kick to the face but DJZ elbows Ki in the face. Tigre sends Manik to the floor and hits a huge twisting springboard moonsault to take everyone down. Back in and Low Ki gets Tigre in the Tree of Woe but Manik breaks up a top rope double stomp. DJZ hits a tornado DDT on Ki but Manik dives onto DJZ for the save. Manik covers, looks DIRECTLY AT TIGRE, and stays there while Tigre dives on him. Come on man. Tigre and Ki go up top and a Ki Crusher off the top gives Ki the title at 5:58.

Rating: C+. Of all the multiman cruiserweight spot fests that I’ve seen, this one is the most recent. That’s really all there is to it. They did some spots, there was no flow to the match, they did a lot of stupid stuff that got on my nerves and one guy hit a big move for the win. That’s every almost cruiserweight match in this company for months now and this was just another on the list.

MVP calls someone and leaves a voicemail about burning the place down.

Here’s Angle to call out MVP. He talks about watching MVP cheat his way to the top when he was in charge but here’s MVP to cut him off. MVP is sick of being here but mocks Angle for running to the Board of Directors when something goes wrong. Angle isn’t going to fire him and the fight is on. Kenny King comes out to help but MVP shoves him away and keeps stomping before hitting the Blackout Kick (Drive-By) to send Angle outside. Anderson comes out to get King but Lashley takes him down. This brings out Roode to take out King and brawl with Lashley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show had some decent wrestling but it felt like any other show for TNA. At the end of the day though, you can see one of the things that has held them back for years right there front and center: an old, past his prime guy living on nostalgia got the longest match of the night, including longer than two matches with new champions crowned.

Maybe the time off will do TNA good, but they need to stop doing stupid stuff like having Tommy Dreamer around to score nostalgia points from a tiny number of people they might bring in. They have a big roster but can’t fit them in because of stuff like that. That’s a badly run business and it’s killed them for years. I’m hoping it gets better on the new network, but 12 years have taught me not to get my hopes up for TNA.

Results

Taryn Terrell b. Gail Kim and Havok – Sunset flip to Kim

Chris Melendez b. Kenny King via DQ when MVP interfered

Bram b. Tommy Dreamer – Inverted DDT

Low Ki b. Tigre Uno, DJZ and Manik – Top rope Ki Crusher to Tigre Uno

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 22, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

We’re closing in on the Lashley vs. Roode showdown with the champion seeming to have some issues with the rest of the Trio. Other than that we have the start of a tag team tournament for a shot at the titles at some point in the future. I kind of like TNA just doing the week to week TV stuff instead of building to meaningless PPVs for a change. It works for NXT most of the time so why not TNA too? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley vs. Roode from a few weeks ago and then Bobby winning the four way last week to earn another shot.

The Wolves want the tournament to start so they can have some new opponents.

Matt Hardy comes out and introduces his partner for the tournament: Jeff Hardy. Well that was anti-climactic.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hardys vs. BroMans

Jesse/DJZ here. Matt and DJZ start things off as Tenay and Taz are already in their own world. The guys in the ring (as in the guys the show is actually supposed to be about) trade headlocks until Matt takes him down and slams DJZ’s head into the mat over and over. Off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion to give Matt two. The Hardys go old school with the Spin Cycle (think both guys doing a half wheelbarrow suplex) but it’s quickly off to Jesse to take over.

Jeff kicks him down with ease before it’s back to Matt for a double belly to back. The BroMans are sent into each other but the distraction lets Jesse dropkick Matt down to take over. DJZ cranks on an armbar until Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom and tags in Jeff. The better Hardy cleans house with dropkicks and a gordbuster followed by the Whisper in the Wind. Jesse loads up a gorilla press but Matt tags himself in and it’s Twist/Swanton for the pin at 6:19.

Rating: C-. Just a basic tag match here that we’ll list under “what else would you expect to happen?” I can’t imagine the Hardys getting another shot after the Series blew the roof off as it would defeat the purpose of having a tournament. I’m also wondering if there are eight teams to fill out brackets as the division barely exists at this point. Decent match though.

Here’s Bram to address his surprise attack on D-Von last week. He loves hearing something being driven through a human’s skin, just like when he drove Janice into Abyss. Bram is the new king of hardcore and D-Von is his target because he’s called a hardcore legend. Whatever it takes, Bram will make sure everyone fears his name. This brings out D-Von and the beating is quickly on. Bram fights back and they head to the floor until security breaks it up in the ring. Angle comes out and makes a hardcore match between the two for later.

Brittany comes up to Samuel Shaw in the back and says she’d love it if he won tonight.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Low Ki/Samoa Joe vs. Samuel Shaw/Gunner

Joe sends Shaw into the corner and hammers away to start before nailing an enziguri for good measure. Off to Ki for a springboard kick to the face but Gunner nails him with a clothesline. Brittany comes down to be in Shaw’s corner as Ki chops away at Gunner. The heels (kind of?) start double teaming Ki but Gunner tells Shaw to get rid of Brittany.

The distraction lets Ki avoid a middle rope dive, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Things speed up with Joe hammering away and getting two of his own off a running kick to the face. Brittany hooks Gunner’s leg for no apparent reason, allowing Ki to kick him into the Clutch from Joe for the submission at 4:36.

Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than anything else as Gunner and Shaw continue to do….whatever it is that they’re doing. They’ve been going on with this for months now and I’m really not sure where they’re going with it. The match was nothing of interest but at least didn’t take up too much time.

Shaw stands next to Brittany but Gunner comes up to yell at her. Samuel nails him with a chair and goes evil again before kissing Brittany.

Ethan Carter III says he can feel it coming in the air tonight. He thinks a Tag Team Title reign with Tyrus would be a good buildup to his World Title win. Spud might be in the building tonight so why doesn’t he find a friend to get in the ring with Ethan and his new friend? Because he’s scared.

Lashley is asked about the title match with Roode but MVP cuts him off and says it’s just another day at the office. King says he and MVP are in the tournament.

Rebel vs. Angelina Love

Love doesn’t show up but here’s Havok instead to destroy Rebel. Gail Kim charges out for the big brawl with the champion until security breaks it up.

Video on Roode vs. Lashley, which I believe is the same video that opened the show.

Angle thinks we’ll raise the stakes in the contract signing later tonight.

Bram vs. D-Von

Hardcore. They start fighting on the floor before D-Von takes him inside for a release flapjack. It’s already back on the floor with D-Von in full control and sending him into the barricade. There’s a bottle of water to the head and Bram goes into steps for good measure. Back in and D-Von nails him in the head with a trashcan lid before hitting a one man Conchairto on the trashcan lid onto Bram’s head.

Bram comes back with a trashcan lid shot of his own because apparently he’s immune to concussions. He shouts that D-Von is nothing and gets a low blow for his efforts. D-Von loads up What’s Up on the trashcan but Magnus comes out with a kendo stick shot for the save, allowing Bram to use the metal bar for the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. It’s not even that the match was terrible but it’s uninteresting. D-Von just isn’t interesting as a singles guy but at least he’s putting someone over at this stage in his career. Bram already has more star power than Magnus has almost ever shown and has a future, hopefully as more than just a hardcore guy.

Anderson and Melendez are in the tournament.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Kenny King/MVP vs. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson

MVP and King are quickly knocked out to the floor but we settle down to Anderson vs. King. Mr. grabs a headlock to take over but MVP trips him up from the floor, allowing King to kick him in the head for two. MVP taunts Melendez with a tag in the corner like a true heel should before hooking Anderson in an arm crank. A running boot to the side of the head gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Melendez and King come in off the tags with Chris cleaning house as everything breaks down. In the melee, King rolls up Melendez with a handful of tights for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: D+. Another middle of the ropad match here as the stories are now being applied to the tournament. That’s not the worst idea in the world and sets up some interesting matchups in the second round. Nothing great here or anything but it got the job done and kept this story going.

Eric Young fires Spud up and they’re in the tournament tonight.

The Wolves do a quick interview saying they’re looking for the best competition. They go off in different directions and Davey runs into James Storm. James tells Davey how great he is and offers to show him the way. Manik comes in to explain the beauty of the Revolution.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Eric Young/Rockstar Spud

Young has to give Spud a pep talk to get him to the ring and there’s no Rockstar at first. Carter laughs at Spud being a coward and even has a new response to the audience: “You wish you could.” He goes on a rant about how the villains win in this world and how the 99%ers here in the audience are all losers. That’s enough to get Spud to the ring and we’re ready to go.

Spud asks to get in the ring with Carter to start. After the staredown but no contact it’s off to Tyrus but Spud won’t tag out to Eric. Spud hammers away but gets caught by a punch to the chest. Spud’s sleeper attempt is countered into a Big Ending and Tyrus throws him around with a t-bone suplex. Tyrus misses a charge but stays on Spud, knocking him down with a single shot.

Off to Carter for some slaps to the face but Spud comes back with a huge one of his own, allowing for the hot tag to Young. Eric cleans house and gets two off the elbow. Everyone heads outside for a huge dive from Young before Spud dives on both villains. Back in and a quick Tongan Death Grip slam from Tyrus gives Ethan the pin on Spud at 7:14.

Rating: C. Better match here with Spud starting to look like a big deal. It wasn’t a great mathc or anything but it was nice to see some of the stories making sense. Young continues to be the guy you call to fill in a story and that’s all he was here. Carter’s rocket push is still coming and I like sayint that.

We run down the card for next week

Here’s Angle for the contract signing between Lashley and Roode. He has a bonus stipulation to make things more interesting next week, but first he asks if either guy has anything to say. Roode admits that Lashley was the better man last week but says that Lashley will be a marked man next week. Lashley has other priorities in MMA, but wrestling is all Roode has. Being champion is the only thing he wants and next week, he’s fighting with a passion to put the title back around his waste.

MVP has built Lashley up very well, but next week Roode will prove that he’s just a man. MVP cuts Bobby off and says Lashley can takes out anyone he faces because he’s a destroyer. Angle cuts them off and says he’ll be guest referee next week. That’s not cool with MVP but Lashley signs, giving us a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t mind this week’s show as they actually seem to have some interesting stuff coming in the next few weeks. Unfortunately, they need a show to air them on and right now we don’t know where that’s going to be. Roode vs. Lashley should be entertaining and the tag matches will be solid too, making next week interesting TV. However, this week’s build was only decent with the tournament matches being average at best. It gave me some hope though and that’s a big plus.

Results

Hardys b. BroMans – Swanton Bomb to Jesse

Samoa Joe/Low Ki b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Koquina Clutch to Gunner

Bram b. D-Von – Metal pole to the head

MVP/Kenny King b. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson – Rollup with a handful of tights to Melendez

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Rockstar Spud/Eric Young – Tongan Death Grip Slam to Spud

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Bram is married to Charlotte of NXT.  Tommy Dreamer mentioned this on Austin’s podcast and my mind exploded.  Granted that might have been because he implied making the promotion like ECW was what was going to turn the corner.

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 14, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s kind of a new era in TNA as Dixie Carter, at least in theory, is off TV for a very long time. Last week Team 3D powerbombed her (kind of) through a table in the big moment that people had been waiting to see for years. Now we’re getting ready for Bound For Glory but there really isn’t anything set up in advance. There are about two months left but only one episode lets on Thursdays. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie being put through a table.

Here’s a very happy Ray to open things up. He thanks all of us for believing in him until he put Dixie through a table. Ray needed all of the fans’ help to do it but there is one man in particular he needs to thank. Rick had Scott, Hawk had Animal, and he has D-Von. This brings out D-Von who says it feels good to be home in New York City. Now that Dixie is gone, it’s time to get down to business.

Cue the Hardys and it’s time for an old school showdown. Matt says it’s been twelve years since the four of them were all together and congratulates the two of them on being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He brings up the first ever tag team table match in 2000 (wasn’t that done before in ECW?) and Bully helps him through their history of ladders and TLC matches. The fans want to see it one more time and all four seem totally cool with the idea.

Recap of Joe winning the X-Division Title last week.

Joe talks about being tasked with revamping the X-Division.

Elimination rules with tags and the winner gets an X-Division Title shot next week. Steve and Tigre start things off with DJZ tripping up Steve from the floor. Tigre slams Steve down and hits a Phoenix Splash for the elimination in less than a minute. Manik comes in to flip around a lot, only to get caught in a nice springboard armdrag. Manik comes back with a springboard dropkick of his own and a tiger suplex into a gutbuster for a fast pin to get us down to four.

Everyone not named DJZ has a staredown in the middle of the ring until DJZ hits a springboard dropkick to take down Low Ki and Homicide. Manik catches himself in the ropes but gets cradled by DJZ for the third elimination in less than three minutes. The veterans double team DJZ and tags turns hammering on him until Homicide hits a Gringo Killa for the pin, getting us down to two.

They hammer away on each other until Homicide sends him to the floor, setting up a flipping suicide dive to send Low Ki into the barricade. A running knee to the face in the corner gets two for Homicide as the fans think this is awesome. Low Ki blocks a Gringo Killa and kicks Homicide into the corner. The Ki Crusher gives Low Ki the title shot at 7:02.

Rating: D+. So why in the world did they not just do Low Ki vs. Homicide? The match was nothing special due to how fast everything had to go and it was really annoying to sit through. Nothing to see on the match but at least they got the major two guys in there at the end for the longest time.

Here are a banged up Spud, Ethan Carter III and Rhino to address their future. Spud nearly cries when talking about the travesty of Dixie being put through a table. He freaks out when the fans won’t give him a moment of silence but Ethan takes the mic. Carter demands Bully’s termination from the company but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt. Kurt tells them to shut up because this isn’t Nashville. They’ll either wrestle tonight or get thrown out.

Ethan yells a lot so here are the cops. Spud freaks out because he has a British passport, meaning he has diplomatic immunity. This doesn’t quite work and he’s quickly taken down and handcuffed. Ethan freaks out again and talks about having more money than he’ll ever need. He tries to bribe the cop and is arrested as well, drawing a big smile from Kurt.

Samuel Shaw says the trouble between Gunner and Mr. Anderson is his fault but Gunner says it’s Anderson’s prejudices. Gunner wishes Shaw luck tonight.

Ethan and Spud are thrown out of the building.

Back from a break and they’re still in the building and offering bribes. Rhino is being ejected as well but now they’re thrown out onto the street.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

They shove each other to start until Anderson runs him over with a shoulder. Gunner does the same and it’s an early standoff. Anderson gets muscled down to the mat but spins out and cranks on a hammerlock. Back up and they slug it out until Shaw comes in to brawl with Anderson for the DQ at 2:52.

The Beautiful People aren’t quite on the same page for the fourway tonight.

We get a clip from after Impact with Bully Ray singing Ding Dong The Wicked Witch Is Dead. Dixie may have a broken back and will be interviewed next week.

Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Kim is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Big brawl to start with the Beautiful People taking early control. Terrell gets beaten down until the Beautiful People head outside where Gail takes them both out with a cross body from the apron. Terrell dives onto all three and everyone is down. Fans: “BETTER THAN DIVAS!” Back in and the Beautiful People get in an argument over who gets the pin, allowing Gail to send both of them into the corner. Angelina breaks up In Yo Face but gets taken down by Taryn, allowing Gail to make Velvet Eat Defeat to retain at 4:48.

Rating: C. Well that happened. It’s happened a bunch of times in the Knockout division and there’s almost no reason to care anymore. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen the Knockouts have a fourway match and it’s really not interesting anymore. Also, they couldn’t give a title match more than five minutes? Let something like this feel big instead of rushing it along and maybe it means something.

The Trio isn’t worried about Dixie Carter.

MVP/Kenny King/Lashley vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Eric Young

Roode and Lashley get things going as the fans are behind Aries. King comes in to nail Roode instead and tells Lashley that he’s got this one. Bobby comes back with some clotheslines but King bails to avoid a Crossface. Aries gets the tag and shoves King into a backbreaker from Roode, followed by a slingshot elbow for two. It’s off to Young vs. Lashley with Eric’s piledriver attempt being easily countered. Lashley misses a charge and falls to the floor but King crotches Eric to slow things down.

MVP comes in and tries a few covers but opts for just nailing Young in the face instead. Eric rolls over and tags in Aries to clean house, including a missile dropkick to King. Lashley’s spear is countered into the Last Chancery and everything breaks down. MVP beats on Roode but walks into a piledriver from Young. Lashley picks Young up for a powerslam but Aries escapes one of his own before nailing Lashley with discus forearms. The running dropkick in the corner looks to set up the 450 but MVP nails Aries in the back with the crutch, setting up the spear from Lashley for the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C+. This was good stuff and I continue to wonder who gets Lashley (assuming he’s still champion) at Bound For Glory. Young isn’t going there and Aries had his shot, so you would think it’s Bobby Roode. I’m not sure you go with him, even though he seems like the best option. That’s one of TNA’s major problems: they can’t build a face to save their lives.

H_V_K is coming. We should be getting the other letters soon.

The Wolves have loved watching the Hardys and Team 3D for years and they’ll enjoy it again tonight. They’d be glad to give Team 3D a shot.

Here’s Abyss with something to say. He demands that Bram get out here right now with his Janice. Abyss gets what he wants plus Magnus as a bonus. Bram stands in front of him as Abyss says possession doesn’t mean anything to him so give Janice back. Bram says she’s his now and that it drives him wild to hit Abyss with Janice.

Abyss asks if Bram wants to get extreme and the fans are entirely behind him. He wants the match to have tacks, glass, barbed wire, and Janice hanging above the ring. Bram accepts the challenge and Magnus says Abyss doesn’t get many women except Janice. The fight is on but Bram clips Abyss and takes Janice with him.

In a very dark and creepy vignette, James Storm is at his farm with Sanada and calls him weak, confused and lost. Storm says he is Sanada’s glory and salvation. He yells at the cameraman to leave. Awesome segment.

Hardcore Justice is next week.

Hardys vs. Team 3D

You would think this would get a bigger build. Team 3D has the old school camouflage on. D-Von cranks on a headlock on Matt but walks into an elbow to the jaw. Off to Jeff vs. Bully with Ray nailing him in the jaw as we take a break. Back with Jeff taking over but Bully breaks up an attempt at Poetry in Motion. D-Von puts Jeff in a chinlock before it’s back to Ray for some hard elbow drops.

A neckbreaker gets two for D-Von and there’s the reverse 3D for two more. We hit a bearhug from Bully on Jeff, who gets backdropped when trying to escape. Ray goes to the middle rope and taken down with a nice hurricanrana for two. The hot tag brings in Matt to hammer on D-Von with a bulldog getting two. There’s the Side Effect for two more as everything breaks down. Matt takes a clothesline and Jeff gets crotched going for the Whisper in the Wind.

D-Von loads up a superplex but Matt pulls him away, setting a Doomsday Device with Jeff nailing a Whisper in the Wind instead of a clothesline for two. Bully breaks up what appeared to be a double superplex and there’s the real Doomsday Device for two on Matt. What’s Up nails Matt and it’s table time but Jeff dives on Team 3D to break it up. Back in and the Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to D-Von for two. The announcers undersell the kickout before 3D ends Matt at 16:57.

Rating: B-. The match was good but is little more than nostalgia. That being said, this was far better than almost anything else that TNA’s tag division does these days as it’s nice to have more than two teams at a time. Throwing these four with the Wolves into a three way would get a big reaction and could draw a nice audience. Assuming there’s more than a two hour build that is.

They embrace to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. There were some issues with this show (short matches for one thing) but the energy and storytelling is getting good. I still don’t trust TNA due to how many times they’ve burned me over the years, but they’re hot going into the move to Wednesdays. This wasn’t great or anything, but it’s a good sign that they have something to do after getting rid of Dixie. Solid show this week and a nice surprise.

Results
Low Ki b. Homicide, Manik, Tigre Uno, DJZ and Crazzy Steve – Ki Crusher to Homicide
Mr. Anderson b. Gunner via DQ when Samuel Shaw interfered
Gail Kim b. Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Taryn Terrell – Eat Defeat to Sky
Lashley/MVP/Kenny King b. Austin Aries/Eric Young/Bobby Roode – Spear to Aries
Team 3D b. Hardys – 3D to Matt

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Impact Wrestling
Date: July 10, 2014
Location: Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the last night in Bethlehem, meaning we’re heading for New York next week. Tonight Kurt Angle has scheduled a series of title matches with only the World Title not being on the line. However, there will be a twenty man battle royal with the winner getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about how so many titles are on the line this week. Most of them were last week as well but it’s nice to see matches that matter twice in a row.

Here’s Kurt Angle to declare this the Championship Showcase, meaning every match has championship ramifications. He runs down the card before asking Willow to come out here. Kurt says Jeff Hardy became Willow because of the dark place that Dixie Carter had put him in. Now it’s just Kurt Angle, and Kurt needs the most competitive wrestler in the world, and that’s Jeff Hardy. Kurt isn’t asking Willow to go away forever, but just for tonight.

Austin Aries says he’ll win the X-Division Title tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Bram/Magnus

The Wolves are defending and it’s Davey vs. Magnus to get things going. A rolling enziguri puts Magnus down and the champions double team him in the corner. Bram comes in as well and gets kicked down just as quickly. It’s off to Bram legally but Davey rams him head first into Eddie ala the British Bulldogs. Magnus gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over before getting Eddie off the apron so there’s no one for Davey to tag. The challengers take over and Magnus avoids a quick enziguri.

Another kick to the head connects and Bram can’t make a fast enough save. Edwards comes in with fast chops to cleans house before a top rope hurricanrana gets two on Bram. The Wolves sends the Brits to the floor for a double suicide dive. Back in and Davey misses the top rope double stomp but escapes a powerbomb into a backslide. The legal Eddie runs in and grabs Bram’s legs in a rollup for the pin at 7:17.

Rating: C. Nice match here but again, the Wolves need challengers to be built up to challenge them, not for them to beat week in and week out. They don’t need to prove how awesome they are and the division is already weak enough. It was entertaining stuff though and I’m fine with the Wolves like this. Just keep them away from fighting each other for awhile.

Bobby Roode is fired up.

Speaking of Roode, here he is in the arena. He talks about wanting something so much that you need it. For months, Dixie Carter made him sit at home and then MVP did the same. MVP sees him as a threat, but now this threat is in the middle of the ring. He wants to get his hands on MVP and doesn’t care about a doctor’s note. If MVP isn’t here by a count of ten, Roode is coming to the back and ripping MVP apart.

MVP’s music hits at about five and he comes out in a wheelchair and says Roode has made his knee injury even worse. It’s swollen so big that he can’t even get an MRI. He’s so upset that he won’t stand for this. Roode comes up the ramp anyway but has to dispatch Kenny King. MVP is sent down to the ring but King nails Roode with a chair. Eric Young comes out for the save but Lashley runs out to spear him down.

James Storm sits down with Sanada in the back and says Sanada will disgrace Japan and the Great Muta if he loses the title. Storm says Muta controls Sanada through the title, but Storm likes what he sees in Sanada. Interesting indeed.

We see the Angle and Willow segment again.

Angle says he thinks he got to Hardy, and that was his goal.

X-Divison Title: Sanada vs. Austin Aries

Sanada is defending and quickly spins out of a wristlock into a headlock on the mat but Aries pops right out of it. A dropkick nails Aries but he’s right on his feet again for a standoff. They head to the mat for the Last Chancery from Aries but Sanada is quickly in the ropes. Sanada puts on a rolling cradle for two and Aries is dizzy. A running clothesline puts him on the floor and but he slides in before Sanada can dive. Back in and Aries shoves him off the top to break up a springboard attempt, allowing him to hit a top rope ax handle to the floor.

Back in and Aries goes up, only to get dropkicked out of the air. Sanada sends him to the floor for a running dive off the apron but Aries counters the tiger suplex. The running dropkick in the corner sets up the brainbuster but Sanada flips out and gets the tiger suplex for two. The moonsault connects for two but an Aries avoids a second. The brainbuster gets two and the 450 gives Aries the pin at 8:26.

Rating: B. The match was awesome, but this basically makes Sanada’s entire reign totally pointless. It’s going to hurt the title even more when the belt is vacated and we have to have yet another tournament for the title and no big name enters it because there’s no reason to care about the X-Division Title until next July. Option C might be the worst thing ever for the division.

Ray doesn’t want to talk about Rhino and we go to a break very abruptly. We get the full version of the interview after we get back, with Ray shouting at the interviewer about how he’s going to talk to Rhino face to face.

Ethan Carter III says Rhino is going to reveal the real Bully.

Bully comes out to the ring and says when he was starting out, Bam Bam Bigelow gave him some advice: by the time he was established, he could count the number of true friends he had on one hand. That brings Ray to Rhino, who he wants out here right now, face to face. He gets Rhino but also gets Spud and Ethan Carter III. Bully demands answers from Rhino but Rhino says this is about the two of them. When Rhino was watching Team 3D being announced for the Hall of Fame, Rhino realized that Bully was a con man.

Ray has conned Paul Heyman and Dixie Carter. Bully says that’s a cop out and says Rhino has been brainwashed. This is just jealousy and Ray is in the Hall of Fame because the people say he should be. Rhino is responsible for his own career and is the only reason he got fired from WWE and TNA. He was hardcore at one point but now he’s just a coward. Ethan says he paid off Rhino because Rhino needs the money. Ray says he’s going to rip Carter apart but gets Gored. The beatdown ensues but Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a kendo stick. You know what the chant is.

The Beautiful People complain about how their flirting didn’t get them anywhere. Angelina says she’s going to win the title back tonight.

Knux says the Menagerie should win tonight because they’re tailor made for a battle royal.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim vs. Brittany vs. Madison Rayne

Gail is defending. Brittany jumps Madison on the way to the ring but Gail comes out for the save. Things settle down with Gail faceplanting Madison but Angelina pulls the champion out to the floor. Angelina and Brittany double team Madison with Love playing on Brittany’s inexperience to get a quick near fall. Madison hits a kind of suplex jawbreaker to put Brittany down but walks into the Botox Injection from Angelina. Eat Defeat to Love is enough to retain Gail’s title at 5:35.

Rating: D+. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a match that was almost identical to this one between the Knockouts. They’ve been doing the exact same kind of multi girl matches for years now and, just like the people in them, they’re only slightly different than the last one. These get old and pretty easy to predict very fast.

Austin Aries says he always seems to have the X-Division Title around this time of the year. The title is the key for a title shot and everyone thinks he’s going to cash the title in for a title shot in New York City but he likes to mix things up. He says the division is important again.

Video on Destination X, three weeks from tonight.

Bobby Roode doesn’t care about MVP and the trio, but he’ll be back for them later.

MVP talks about how Lashley is a franchise player. We see Lashley working out wearing the title belt.

Battle Royal

Knux, Crazy Steve, The Freak, Bobby Roode, Eric Young, Ethan Carter III, Rockstar Spud, Manik, DJZ, Bram, Sanada, Magnus, Jesse Godderz, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson, Kenny King, Gunner, James Storm, Tigre Uno

The winner gets a title shot next week. Roode is now in long tights. Hardy comes out as Jeff Hardy for the first time in a few months. I think I’ve got everyone in the match but it’s always hard to tell. Jesse quickly dropkicks Crazy Steve out for the first elimination but the Freak puts him out a few seconds later. DJZ goes after the two remaining members of the Menagerie and is quickly eliminated. Bram and Magnus put the Freak out and Knux misses a big boot, allowing them to dump him as well. Storm knocks Hardy to the apron and bites Hardy’s fingers but can’t get an elimination.

Bram forearms Tigre Uno out as the ring is clearing a bit. Sanada is tossed as well before Roode clotheslines Magnus to the floor. Storm does the same to Anderson and tosses Gunner as well. Hardy gets rid of Bram, bringing out Abyss to hammer Bram to the back. Kenny King misses a charge at Manik and is able to eliminate him from the apron. Roode and Storm have the required showdown as we go to a break.

Back with Roode dumping Storm, getting us down to a final group of Spud, Carter, Ray, Young, King, Hardy and Roode. Spud tries to chop Ray and gets grabbed low for his efforts.
Ray knocks out Spud and Ethan but eliminates himself in the process. Down to four now. Young is down in the corner as Roode spinebusts King, only to have MVP get in a cheap shot to Bobby with his crutch for an elimination.

Young dumps King and we’re down to Hardy vs. Eric. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. A quick belly to belly attempt sends Hardy to the apron but he comes back in with a jawbreaker. Young is sent over the corner for a Flair Flip so of course he struts along the apron. Hardy is nice enough to not nail him but a dropkick knocks Young out for the at 16:00.

Rating: C+. This was a decent enough battle royal as they kept things moving fast enough that it didn’t get boring. Hardy winning the title shot was pretty obvious the second his music hit but he’s one of the best choices. I have no idea where Samoa Joe was, but I’m assuming this is setting up Joe vs. Angle down the line.

Jeff says he won, bad hair and all. He’s the next World Champion and is doing it for the creatures. Lashley comes out and holds up the belt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I actually liked tonight’s show for the most part, but the X-Division stuff gets on my nerves. It’s such a waste of potential for the division and comes off too much like Money in the Bank. Other than that though we had two good matches and a decent enough battle royal to set up a big main event next week. The show did its job and wasn’t terrible so it works well enough for me.

Results
Wolves b. Bram/Magnus – Rollup to Bram
Austin Aries b. Sanada – 450 Splash
Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne, Angelina Love and Brittany – Eat Defeat to Love
Jeff Hardy won a battle royal last eliminating Eric Young

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