Smackdown
Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they’re all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there’s a chance we’ll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let’s get to it.

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.

Just like Raw, there’s a new intro accompanied by new music.

The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it’s time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he’s ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there’s going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:

John Cena

Bray Wyatt

Dolph Ziggler

AJ Styles

Baron Corbin

That leaves one spot open so let’s have a battle royal right now for that final position.

Battle Royal

Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley

The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.

Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn’t bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.

All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.

Rating: C. The ending really does this match a lot of good and teasing Kane winning made it even better. Above all else though they kept this moving very quickly and didn’t overstay the welcome as so many battle royals do. Crews isn’t likely going to win the Six Pack Challenge but it’s a nice win to get him noticed.

Crews says he won’t celebrate until he wins the main event.

Shelton Benjamin is coming back.

Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can’t be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.

Natalya vs. Becky Lynch

Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.

Rating: C-. I don’t know any other way to put this but Natalya is really dull. She wrestles the exact same match as a heel that she wrestled as a face and there’s really no motivation for her other than something that happened a few weeks ago and now she’s a villain basically in name only. It doesn’t help that these two don’t have the best chemistry, especially when they’re the best in the Smackdown division.

Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It’s really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn’t say anything.

Baron Corbin says he’ll win.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest…..The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he’ll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he’ll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.

Randy Orton vs. The Miz

Non-title. They’re quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.

Rating: F. Oh screw you WWE. Smackdown has almost nothing and you have Miz lose to one move with almost half the match spent on him standing up after the RKO. You know who would have been perfect for this spot? Kane. He’s established, he’s tough, he loses NOTHING by taking the loss and it makes Orton look like he can beat a monster. This was stupid and one of the things that ticks me off more than any other nonsense WWE pulls.

Video on American Alpha. They’re here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don’t have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.

A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn’t happy that he wasn’t drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there’s a name I never thought I’d hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.

AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he’s too good. Why else wouldn’t the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?

Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he’ll have the whole world in his hands.

John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn’t be seen in a six way match.

We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that’s how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo’s toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there’s no referee. Cena finally remembers he’s in this match and AA’s Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.

Crews and Wyatt take AA’s as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.

Rating: C+. ZIGGLER??? Of all the people you have here you pick ZIGGLER??? I mean I know this lets you have Styles vs. Cena and…..well that’s about it actually. Yeah Smackdown needs new stars but the best they can do is having Dolph Ziggler’s main event push brought out of mothballs? I don’t hate it but I’m going to need to see a lot more of this before I accept Ziggler as a top challenger.

Shane, Bryan and Ambrose come out and say nothing to fill in the last four minutes of the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show’s main issue is it followed last night’s great Raw. It’s certainly not a bad show and they did some good things (Crews getting a push, setting up the title match, the women showing up) but on the other hand you have Orton’s completely needless destruction of Miz, Heath Slater and Rhyno instead of American Alpha (which at least gives you something to look forward to next week so it’s not all bad. This show set left a lot to be desired but it’s certainly not terrible. The problem is Smackdown didn’t look great in the first place and now those suspicions are even more confirmed.

Results

Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane

Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her

Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO

Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin – Superkick to Styles

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 11, 2016
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Things have changed a bit now as we’re past Wrestlemania weekend and back to the normal way of life around here. AJ Styles is the new #1 contender to WWE World Champion Roman Reigns and we have Shane McMahon as the new temporary boss of the show. It should be interesting to see where that goes but you never know if anything is actually going to happen. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to the memory of Blackjack Mulligan.

Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going, unfortunately suggesting that the new regime means more talking. He gets right to the point: tonight we’re starting a tournament for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. On top of that, AJ Styles is going to be facing Roman Reigns at some point in the future. That’s quite the opportunity. Another opportunity will be given tonight as AJ Styles will be facing Sami Zayn. If Zayn wins, he’s added to the World Title match at Payback.

This brings out Kevin Owens to say that he’s getting ripped off because Shane has a few screws loose after diving off that Cell. Shane says Owens has blown his opportunities but Owens sees it as being ripped off over and over. Kevin wants his rematch at the Intercontinental Title so Shane is willing to give Owens a chance, if he can win a match tonight. The winner will get a title shot at the Miz, presumably at Payback.

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro

Winner gets Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Owens bails to the ropes to start and heads outside for an early breather. A headlock has Cesaro in trouble but Owens gets shoved outside again. Back in and Owens realizes that Cesaro has a big bandage on his shoulder and grabs a wristlock followed by an armbar. This turns into a discussion of the Authority with JBL brow beating Byron about how awesome HHH and Stephanie are. Cesaro comes back with the running European uppercuts and a dropkick for two. Owens sends him shoulder first into the post though and we take a break.

Back with Owens kicking him in the arm to break up the Swing before rolling through a high cross body into a crossface. Cesaro rolls into the ropes but Owens pops up to the top for a great looking frog splash and a near fall. The Pop Up Powerbomb is countered though (possibly due to Owens shouting about how it’s over) with Cesaro scoring a springboard uppercut. The shoulder gives out on the Swing though and Owens sends the arm into the buckle. Another attempt at the powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana though and Cesaro grabs the Neutralizer for the pin and the title shot at 14:50.

Rating: B-. If they don’t give Cesaro the title at Payback they’ve lost their minds. Cesaro was his usual self here and the fans are way into him, at least much moreso than they are with the placeholder Miz. Owens losing clean isn’t the best result but at least it gives us a good option with the title shot.

We look back at Natalya getting in Charlotte’s face last week.

Charlotte is ranting about how she should be on Legends With JBL instead of defending against someone like Natalya. This brings in Dr. Phil to say that Ric is holding her back and now letting her be who she is. Phil wants her to stand on her own two feet and be her own woman. This results in a WOO off with Ric. Words cannot describe how forced Phil felt here.

Shane ejects Owens from the building to prevent him from screwing over Sami later.

Here’s New Day to talk about the tag team tournament. Much like a game of NBA Jam, this division is on fire. Woods shows us the following brackets:

Usos

Social Outcasts

Golden Truth

Vaudevillains

Enzo/Big Cass

Ascension

Lucha Dragons

Dudley Boyz

They’ll be at ringside for at least the first match.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz

This is joined in progress but we come back with Kalisto down on the floor and being attended to by medics. D-Von attacks Sin Cara anyway and we see a clip from the break of Kalisto being sent hard to the floor and taking a hard clothesline from D-Von to cause the injury. We get things going with the Dudleyz attacking Cara from behind, setting up a quick 3D at 2:04 shown.

Post match here are Enzo and Cass to draw a HOW YOU DOIN chant. Enzo says the catchphrases but the Dudleyz cut them off to say they’re the kind of team that paved the way for Enzo and Cass. D-Von: “We’re the reason you guys exist.” Enzo: “No the reason I exist is my mom and dad got it on, how you doin.” Cass says they’re putting holes in the ground so Bubba and D-Von need to put on their hard hats and get back to work because they’re SAWFT.

Owens leaves the arena.

Here’s Roman Reigns with something to say, including the “I’m the guy” sequence. Roman talks about tonight’s match for the #1 contendership, which doesn’t matter because he’s going to be champion for a long time. This brings out the League of Nations with Sheamus asking how confident Reigns would be if he was fighting one of them for the title. Rusev calls himself the best looking man in the WWE and Del Rio does his usual insults.

The fight is on and here are the Wyatts of all people for the save. The League is quickly out and we’ve got the Wyatts staring Reigns down. Before this goes anywhere, Shane comes out and says that tonight it’s any two members of the League vs. Roman/Bray. BUT I THOUGHT BRAY WAS BURIED AT WRESTLEMANIA! HOW CAN HE BE IN THE MAIN EVENT EIGHT DAYS LATER????? THE INTERNET CAN’T BE WRONG ABOUT THIS STUFF!!!!!

Primo and Epico send their greetings from Puerto Rico.

Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and Dr. Phil is at ringside. Natalya tries a choke to start but gets countered into a spinebuster, only to go for an armbar instead. That sends Charlotte bailing to the floor, followed by the stepover into the basement dropkick back inside. Back in and Charlotte starts dropping some knees before choking with the leg across the throat as we take a break.

Back with Charlotte doing those headscissors face pounds before putting on the Figure Four. That goes nowhere so Charlotte puts on a Sharpshooter but Natalya rolls through for the break. A release German suplex sets up the discus lariat but Charlotte punches her in the face to break up the Sharpshooter. Charlotte kicks her in the face for two more, only to miss a moonsault. Now the Sharpshooter goes on but Ric tries to get in. That goes nowhere so Ric pulls the referee out, just as Charlotte taps, drawing the DQ at 11:00.

Rating: C+. So ignore the referee watching Charlotte tap I guess. This was straight out of the Evolution playbook and it’s getting old. Hopefully, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, the Dr. Phil thing leads to Flair and Charlotte splitting but they really need to stop doing this same nonsense over and over. We get it: Flair can cheat to help Charlotte keep the title. Now let Charlotte do her thing.

Dr. Phil is disappointed.

We look back at Kevin Owens attacking Sami Zayn last week.

Sami says he didn’t come this far to lose because he’s the underdog from the underground. This brings in AJ Styles to say he agrees with all that, but he’s the only #1 contender and that’s how things are staying.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Usos vs. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel

Jimmy works on Axel’s arm to start before it’s off to Jey who seems to injury his arm/shoulder early on. Jey gets stomped down in the corner and it’s back to Axel for a chinlock. Slater comes in as the referee sounds like he said to go home. Heath clotheslines Jey down and it’s time for the Bo Train so Jimmy gets the tag and rolls up Slater for the pin at 4:21.

Rating: D. This was a bunch of laying around with the Usos getting a fluke pin. I mean, it’s not like you want to push the Outcasts over a team like the Usos or anything because no one is going to buy it long term but at least come up with something better than stomp, stomp, chinlock, rollup.

Post match the BULLET CLUB (Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson) debuts to beat the Usos down. Jey is sent shoulder first into the steps a few times as the fans are VERY pleased with the debut. They leave through the crowd as security forces them out.

Miz and Maryse are in the back with the latter yelling at a production assistant for having blue M&M’s and American water. JoJo comes in and gets yelled at too but Miz brags about his car and calls himself Cesaro’s Kryptonite. The last line requires two takes until Cesaro interrupts. Cesaro promises to roll out the red carpet version of all his uppercuts at Payback. Miz tries some water, causing Maryse to freak out that it’s domestic.

Sami Zayn vs. AJ Styles

If Sami wins, he’s added to the World Title match at Payback. AJ goes after the taped arm to start but Sami reverses into some rollups. Sami jumps over him and snaps off some armdrags into an armbar and it’s a standoff. That’s fine with AJ who suplexes him down a few times, only to get chopped HARD in the corner. The dropdown into the dropkick gives AJ his first real advantage and we hit the quickly broken chinlock.

Zayn goes to the floor and eats a stiff knee to the face for two back inside. Back in and Sami knocks AJ right back to the floor for the big flip dive and we take a break. We come back with Sami fighting out of a chinlock, only to eat the seated forearm. The AA onto the knee gets two for Styles but Sami pops back up with the high cross body for two. A tornado DDT connects for two more as they’re just trading big moves here.

The half and half suplex is countered with the Pele but the Phenomenal Forearm is countered into the Blue Thunder Bomb for the hottest near fall in the business from a move that has never won a match. AJ rolls into the Calf Crusher but Sami finally gets over to the ropes. With nothing else working, AJ loads up a super sunset powerbomb, only to have Sami backflip out. The Helluva Kick misses though and the Phenomenal Forearm puts Sami away at 16:50.

Rating: B+. This was your standard (yet awesome) let’s hit each other with one big move after another until one of us can’t get up. Sami losing is fine as he’s basically a Canadian Daniel Bryan on the main roster. AJ gets another big win to look like he could pull off the miracle at Payback, meaning everyone gets something out of this. Well done, as usual.

Shane congratulates Sami and AJ on a great match.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho and a surprise special guest. Jericho tells us to shut up and enjoy the greatness that is himself before talking about all the people he’s beaten. Cue Dean Ambrose who gets in trouble for touching the potted plant. Dean has something from Shane and gives Jericho a piece of paper. Jericho: “This is a California speeding ticket.” Dean: “Oh wait I need that for later.”

Apparently the gift from Shane is a note saying that the Highlight Reel has been canceled and replaced by the Ambrose Asylum. Dean even has a tie for the special occasion. Dean asks Jericho about losing last week and a brawl breaks out, capped off by Dean hitting Dirty Deeds to leave Chris laying.

R-Truth is in the back when Goldust comes in to see him. Goldust asks about the audition that Truth promised him for tonight but now they’re in a tag team tournament. Truth says that is the audition and wants to know whose bright idea this was. Cue Dr. Phil (drawing a lot of booing) to say something but he just walks away instead.

Apollo Crews vs. Adam Rose

They run the ropes to start until Crews does a standing moonsault and clotheslines Rose to the floor. Rose clotheslines him down for two, only to lose a battle over a suplex. Dallas tries to offer a distraction but Crews just hits the toss powerbomb for the pin at 3:32.

Rating: D. This was another debut style squash with Crews destroying someone that had no chance in the match. They need to get him over because he really didn’t have enough time to develop a reputation in NXT but you can only have him go over the Outcasts so many times before it stops mattering.

Video on Baron Corbin.

Bray says Roman can trust him.

Roman Reigns/Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio

Bray insists that he start for his team and takes Sheamus into the corner, setting up a quick spider walk. Reigns tags himself in and helps stomp away, only to get booed out of the building. It’s back to Bray for the cheering but Sheamus gives him a quick Irish Curse to set up a top rope double stomp from Del Rio for two. A chinlock goes nowhere so it’s back to Reigns for the hot tag (because of the crowd heat) and a boot to Sheamus’ face.

Sheamus tied him up for the ten forearms, only to have Del Rio kick him in the ribs to break up a comeback attempt. The fans count along with Sheamus before it’s off to Del Rio. The top rope double stomp is broken up with a situp (thank you), only to have Sheamus break up the comeback. Roman drops Sheamus again and looks over at Bray before making the hot tag to Wyatt for the big comeback. A release Rock Bottom drops Del Rio and the running cross body gets two with Sheamus making the save.

Roman knocks Sheamus outside but the Superman Punch is knocked out of the air. Rusev kicks Bray in the head and the Backstabber gets two on Bray. Thank goodness for that as they had me thinking they were going to have him lose his first match as a face. Cue the Wyatts to take out Rusev and have a standoff with Del Rio. Alberto slides back in and eats Sister Abigail for the pin at 11:00.

Rating: B-. This was better than it had any right to be and thankfully it seems that they’re teasing turning Reigns heel soon enough because the booing isn’t stopping now that they’re past Wrestlemania weekend. Bray looked awesome as a face (bizarre but awesome) and there could be something interesting if they push this hard. Good match too, which stuns me even though all four are good workers.

Bray and the Family stares at Roman to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I had a good time with this show and they did a great job of pushing the wrestling as the focus tonight. Unfortunately the show still feels far too long and needed to be an hour shorter but the Bray Wyatt face turn gives me some hope for the future. It’s clear that people want to cheer him so it’s far past the point of having him turn. I’m not sure if the Family sticks around or not but at least we’re getting something out of him for a change. Good show overall though and a good followup after last week.

Results

Cesaro b. Kevin Owens – Neutralizer

Dudley Boyz b. Lucha Dragons – 3D to Cara

Natalya b. Charlotte via DQ when Ric Flair interfered

Usos b. Heath Slater/Curtis Axel – Rollup to Slater

AJ Styles b. Sami Zayn – Phenomenal Forearm

Roman Reigns/Bray Wyatt b. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio – Sister Abigail to Del Rio

There are a lot of these.In no particular order but each should have a caption.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In case you needed a match to throw in a bunch of midcarders to get them on the card.

Battle royals are really hard to predict. Like really hard to predict. However that’s not the case here as this should be one of the easiest battle royals to call in a long time. Simply put, there aren’t a lot of people who could win. Based on the currently listed entrants, the only major threats are going to be Big Show, Kane and……dang that’s really it isn’t it? You can almost bet the Wyatts will be involved so you can throw Strowman on there too, which is kind of necessary to avoid me going insane.

Of course there’s always the chance that someone could be added to the match as a big surprise (Cesaro is rumored) but unless they’re going to win the thing, save that for the next night on Raw. Barring a surprise winner, I think we’ll get Strowman here, even though Bray winning would make so much more sense. Even if Strowman clears the ring and then Bray orders him out ala Ted DiBiase or something, but Bray needs this way more than anyone else. I know he’s banged up but it’s a battle royal. He can work the whole match without taking any major bumps so just give it to him so he can actually win something for once.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

At FYE in Texas.And he couldn’t have been nicer.  It’s a horrible breach of kayfabe but it was a really nice time as he talked to my wife about her hometown and how messy the roads are there and said meeting me was his pleasure.  It was almost jarring how nice the guy was and how he really seemed to like being there.

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.

Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.

Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.

Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.

Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.

There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.

We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.

Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.

Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.

After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.

They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.

Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”

Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.

We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.

At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.

We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.

Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.

Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.

Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.

The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.

Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.

Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.

Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.

The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry

In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.

Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.

Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.

Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.

Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.

It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.

The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.

Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.

Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.

Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.

Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?

The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.

Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.

Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.

Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.

Medics check on Bryan’s arm.

We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.

Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.

It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.

Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.

Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.

Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.

Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.

Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.

The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.

That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.

Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.

On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.

The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.

Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.

Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.

The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.

Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D4D3EGQ

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-you-might-remember-this-one/

 

Looking back at a hidden (ish) gem (ish) from each Wrestlemania.

Roadblock 2016
Date: March 12, 2016
Location: Ricoh Coliseum, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

This is a special live show between Fastlane and Wrestlemania with a big main event in Dean Ambrose challenging HHH for the WWE World Title. It’s not often that the Wrestlemania main event could be changed this soon before the date of the show but stranger things have happened. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the World Title match and pitches the idea that Dean is blocking the road to Wrestlemania. Well they never have been too subtle so why start now?

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. King Barrett/Sheamus

New Day is defending. Before the match, Woods says that when you look at them, you see hips that don’t lie, which of course means it’s time for a little dancing. They actually have a box of BootyO’s cereal and Big E. drops to his knees to speak like a child for some insults about the League. Unfortunately they couldn’t come up with any insults for Rusev so Big E. promises to eat his cereal to grow big and strong. That box actually looks real so well done for whoever made that.

Kofi headscissors Sheamus down to start and it’s already time for some posing. If New Day hasn’t turned face yet, they might not even need to at this point. Sheamus pulls Kofi out of the corner and brings Barrett in for his assortment of punches. Big E. comes in for his backbreaker and some dancing before the Unicorn Stampede takes off.

Winds of Change puts Kofi down and Sheamus adds the Irish Curse as the heels (well the stronger heels) take over. A top rope shoulder gets two for Sheamus and the fans tell Barrett that he can’t wrestle. Seriously? I know Barrett isn’t as sharp as he used to be but he’s getting the Khali chant now?

Kofi comes back with a dropkick and the hot tag brings in Big E. for a string of suplexes. Everything breaks down and Kofi cleans house, only to have Trouble in Paradise countered into the Cloverleaf. Barrett pulls Big E. off the apron but Kofi counters into a rollup for two. The SOS doesn’t get a count despite only existing to get near falls. Kofi goes up top but kind of crashes into Sheamus as he tries to dive over, giving us a bad looking botch. Barrett kicks Big E. in the head but Woods offers a distraction, allowing Kofi to get in a cheap shot so the Big Ending can put Barrett away at 8:38. Big E. seems to be favoring his arm.

Rating: C. Hopefully that’s it for this feud as I’m not really sure why they’re fighting other than New Day started talking about the League one day. New Day is going to be a great act as faces but I’m not sure what kind of a shelf life they’ll have before they’ll told how to be funny and outgoing and the act dies as a result. At least they’re on fire now and it’s fun to watch.

Paul Heyman talks about making Toronto the capital of Suplex City and promises that Bray will be conquered by the Beast.

We recap Y2AJ splitting and Jericho burning one of their shirts on Smackdown.

Here’s Jericho for his match but he has to insult the fans for cheering for AJ instead of him. Canadian fans are always behind the times eh? Jericho calls himself the greatest icon in the history of this country, drawing a WE WANT BRET chant. After telling the fans that they’ll never get Bret again, Jericho talks about being embarrassed to be Canadian. Moving away from Canada was the smartest thing he ever did because Canadian fans chant for the flavor of the month. That includes when they cheered for Jack Swagger when he beat Jericho for the World Title years ago. Jericho insults WE THE PEOPLE and it’s time for a match.

Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

Jericho slaps him in the face to start and bails to the floor in a smart move. The chase doesn’t go well for Chris as Swagger catches him back inside and hammers away in the corner. The announcers run down Jericho’s career, talking about Baba and Tenryu in Japan because saying he’s a ten time Intercontinental Champion and main evented Wrestlemania would be going over most fans heads.

Jericho comes back by sending Swagger into the barricade for two and we hit the chinlock. Jack fights up and we get a CM PUNK chant for no logical reason. Some clotheslines have Jericho in trouble and the Vader Bomb gets two. Jericho can’t get the Walls so it’s the enziguri instead. The Codebreaker is broken up with a powerslam but the gutwrench powerbomb is countered into the Walls for the tap out at 7:55.

Rating: C+. Better match than I was expecting here as Swagger continues to be fine when he isn’t talking or trying to be anything bigger than a power guy who can do some submission stuff. This was fine for a way to keep Jericho’s awesome heel run going, but the fans still chanting for him after that heel promo isn’t the best sign.

JBL shouts YOU STILL GOT IT as Jericho goes up the ramp, making him even more annoying than usual.

We recap the NXT Tag Team Title match with Cole saying the Revival are the new Tag Team Champions. As in the Revival who won the belts nearly five months ago. The Revival thinks Enzo and Cass aren’t serious enough and took out Colin Cassady’s knee so the challengers are coming for revenge and the titles.

NXT Tag Team Titles: Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Revival

Revival (Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder) are defending and the challengers have Carmella with them. Enzo and Dash get things going with Amore nailing a dropkick before it’s off to Cass for the big side slam. Wilder dives into a right hand to the ribs, followed by Cass picking up Enzo and throwing him at Dawson to keep control. They do the same thing again with Enzo flying over the top to take both of them out, drawing a loud NXT chant.

Back in and Dawson gets a blind tag to send Enzo shoulder first into the post, giving the champs a target. Dawson cranks on an armbar as JBL tries to say the Revival are a throwback to the late 90s tag teams. Add tag team history to the list of things JBL doesn’t know much about. Enzo gets sent into the buckle again and stomped in the Tree of Woe, only to do a situp to send Dawson into the post.

Cass comes in to clean house with a big boot and the East River Crossing to Wilder but the Rocket Launcher is broken up. Carmella slaps Dawson but the distraction lets the champs hit the Shatter Machine (picture a 3D into a Codebreaker) on the floor. Back in and Enzo hits a top rope DDT on Wilder and grabs a rollup for a close near fall on Dawson. The champs get back up though and a Shatter Machine out of the corner gets the pin on Amore at 10:15.

Rating: B+. Please send them up to the main roster already as it’s pretty clear that we’re not getting the title change anytime soon. Enzo and Cass are an awesome act but if they’re not getting the titles then there’s no point in keeping them down in NXT. It’s clear that they’re ready for the main roster so let them go and do the fun feud with New Day before they’re turned into the tag team Santino.

Earlier today, Natalya dedicated her match tonight to Bret Hart and thinks it could get her a step closer to the Divas Title. Charlotte came in and laughed at her but refused to put the title on the line. Natalya said Bret must have been right about the Flairs being cowards and Charlotte made it a title match, which I guess she can just do because contracts work in a weird way in WWE.

Divas Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya

Charlotte is defending. Natalya works on an arm to start but gets caught in a bodyscissors. They trade some holds on the amt with Natalya getting in a leg lock, followed by a surfboard. Back up and Charlotte pulls her to the floor for a crash and takes over with the stomps in the corner. Cole, who already used the term “Divas Wrestler” in this match, compares Charlotte to Mildred Burke. Did Matt Striker take over the commentary division this week?

The discus forearm is broken up and Charlotte starts in on the knee. There’s a chop block to make Natalya scream a lot but she’s still able to kick the champ out to the floor. Now the discus forearm connects and but Charlotte counters the Sharpshooter into the Figure Four. Natalya gets Charlotte under the ropes for a weird counter and Natural Selection gets two.

Charlotte goes up for something but gets countered into a Batista Bomb for a very close near fall. You could tell the fans bought into that one. The Figure Four is countered into the Sharpshooter but Ric helps pull Charlotte to the ropes. Natalya swings at Ric and gets rolled up with Charlotte’s feet on the ropes to retain at 13:35.

Rating: B. What is up with this show being so awesome? Natalya is one of those women that you can put in there with anyone and get a passable match but this felt like she was actually getting close to the title instead of just being there to put Charlotte over. I liked this one a lot more than I was expecting and that’s always a good thing.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt, which is mainly over the Wyatt Family eliminating Brock from the Royal Rumble. Lesnar is out for revenge tonight.

Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray talks about all the people Brock has conquered but tonight there’s a deal with the devil, which has changed this match intro a handicap match.

Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper

Heyman says that Brock is FIGHTING out of the conqueror’s corner for a cool sounding intro. Bray bails to the apron to start so Harper takes the first suplex, sending him out to the floor. Brock stares at Wyatt, allowing Harper to get back inside for a suicide dive. Two boots to the face stagger Brock and the discus clothesline gets a nearer fall than you would expect.

We hit a crossface but Brock gets to his feet and slips between Harper’s legs for a German suplex. Is there anything this guy can’t do? A superkick doesn’t do much so Brock throws him down with two more German suplexes. Harper gets tossed around even more as the fans keep count for Brock. The F5 puts Harper away at 4:01. Brock and Bray never made contact.

Rating: C. This was fine and they did a good job of protecting Bray here. Harper got in some strong looking offense too so everyone comes out looking fine. I’m not sure where they’re going with Bray vs. Brock but maybe they’ll head there in a few months instead of doing it at Payback or whatever they’re calling the show after Wrestlemania.

Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

Another bonus match. An early CODY chant gets on Stardust’s nerves as the announcers talk about the Missing Link for no logical reason. Sami grabs an armbar and some armdrags for a nice start. There go the OLE chants, which Cole calls an ode to Sami’s former persona, just in case you didn’t think Cole knew everything about wrestling ever. Stardust sends him back first into the apron to take over, setting up a cartwheel.

Some knees to the back followed by a waistlock have Sami in trouble and Stardust tries a reverse Boston crab (Colt Cabana’s Billy Goat’s Curse). A Matt Hardy Side Effect gets two on Sami and a top rope superplex is good for the same as this has been one sided for a long time. Sami pops back up with clotheslines and right hands in the corner before low bridging Stardust out to the floor. There’s the big flip dive over the ropes and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two. Stardust comes right back with a Disaster Kick for the same but gets suplexed into the corner, setting up the Helluva Kick for the pin at 12:43.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as much as some of the other matches tonight but it was still fun enough. The problem here was they were clearly setting up the comeback all match and then the back work didn’t go anywhere as Sami just popped up and did his big stuff. At least the right guy won though and a lot of Sami’s strength comes from when he’s beaten down and has to fight against all odds. Good enough stuff here though and that’s all it needed to be.

We recap HHH vs. Dean Ambrose which is all about Dean rebelling against the Authority and doing a much better job of it than Roman Reigns ever could.

WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. HHH

Dean is challenging. Feeling out process to start as the announcers give out even more stats and figures (HHH hasn’t had a singles match since Wrestlemania XXXI or a title defense since 2009). Dean headlocks him down and some armdrags keep HHH in trouble. Back up and Ambrose lays across the top rope ala Shawn Michaels and HHH isn’t happy. The CM Punk chants start again and Dean grabs HHH’s nose as he armdrags the champ down a second time.

Thankfully the chants turn into the standard LET’S GO AMBROSE/HHH as Dean gets kneed in the ribs. They head outside with Dean getting in a clothesline before wrapping the leg around the post. HHH actually tries a Pedigree on the floor but gets his legs swept out, only to kick Dean into the steps to change momentum. HHH starts in on the back and puts on a Crossface, followed by a Rings of Saturn of all things.

JBL talks about the Toronto fans seeing their hero Whipper Billy Watson win back in 1956. A spinebuster gets two but Dean pops back up and gets the same off a bulldog. Dirty Deeds is broken up but the facebuster sets up a rebound lariat for two on the champ. I still don’t like the idea of someone taking a hard shot to the face and hitting an offensive move a second later. That never works for me.

HHH’s leg starts giving out on him again, allowing Dean to counter a Pedigree attempt into a Figure Four. Cole: “He’s going to tap HHH for the title!” Dean switches over to a Sharpshooter but HHH makes the ropes for the save. Dirty Deeds connects but Dean’s foot is under the ropes for a good false finish.

A hard whip sends HHH over the ropes and out to the floor, setting up the suicide dive. Dean hits the top rope elbow and even throws in a Suck It. HHH gets knocked onto the announcers’ table but avoids the elbow off the barricade for a huge crash. It’s only good for a nine count so HHH hits a quick Pedigree to retain at 24:33.

Rating: A-. Awesome match here and I’m sure that three count is going to be Dean’s consolation prize. There wasn’t much of a chance that they were going to change the title here but giving us the false hope was a nice feeling. HHH winning the match (mostly) clean is fine enough but I could go for Dean actually winning something big every now and then.

Overall Rating: A-. I had a great time with this show even though it doesn’t change much of anything. Sometimes all you need is a good night of wrestling and that’s what we had here. The worst thing all night was Stardust vs. Sami in a match that certainly wasn’t bad. This show worked out really well and hopefully will give WWE some of the positive momentum they’ve been lacking so much lately.

Results

New Day b. King Barrett/Sheamus – Big Ending to Barrett

Chris Jericho b. Jack Swagger – Walls of Jericho

Revival b. Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady – Shatter Machine to Amore

Charlotte b. Natalya – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brock Lesnar b. Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt – F5 to Harper

Sami Zayn b. Stardust – Helluva Kick

HHH b. Dean Ambrose – Pedigree

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume IV at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AXP08DK

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Simple idea this week.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-roadblock-preview/

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 7, 2016
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Now this could be interesting as the company is hardly on a creative roll at the moment and we’re in one of the biggest smark havens in the world. We’re also five days away from Roadblock which suddenly has the potential to change the entire Wrestlemania card with less than a month before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Vince vowing to renounce Shane as his son after Wrestlemania. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting or a major plot point as the McMahons are always arguing.

Here’s Shane to get things going. Shane sucks up to the Chicago crowd and it’s clear that they’re excited to see him. He was watching Raw last week and heard what Undertaker was saying about his match. Shane respects Undertaker completely but he wasn’t surprised by what Vine said about him after the fact. Vince has lost touch with both his reality and his grandsons but Shane is ready to stop it all. At Wrestlemania, he stops all the backstage politics and all the authority. Shane is tired of seeing all the talent being held back with no breaks and all the breaks given to people with no talent.

The gong goes off but it’s a strutting Vince instead. Vince laughs at the fans for not being happy to see him so the CM PUNK chants start up. The boss lets it die off and talks about how Stephanie is getting everything. Earlier today Vince was looking at a picture of Shane at his first wrestling show and of course we get to see it on the screen. Vince pulls the actual photo from somewhere and crushes the frame like he’ll do at Wrestlemania.

After Shane loses, Vince will be able to wrap his arms around his grandsons and prove to them that their family isn’t a bunch of losers because his greatest creation is going to destroy his greatest failure. Vince sends out the security but Shane actually beats them up to a HUGE ovation, most of which isn’t deserved.

The segment was better than most of anything we saw last week but I’m still really not sure what the heck they’re fighting about. Thankfully they’ve seemed to drop the whole lockbox concept which wasn’t working to say the least but Shane having a proxy would work better as an idea.

Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Non-title so look for another upset. Owens drives him into the corner to start and stomps away, meaning he survives longer than he did against Neville a few weeks back. Kevin: “Come on mate!” Neville comes back with kicks to send Owens to the floor but misses a dive, allowing Kevin to send him into the steps as we take a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock, only to be flipped over with a German suplex.

The Cannonball is countered with a nice enziguri to knock Owens to the floor, setting up a great looking shooting star off the top to the outside. The fans REALLY like that one but don’t care as much for the standing shooting star press for two back inside. Neville charges into a boot to the face but rolls away from a springboard moonsault. A superkick sets up the middle rope Phoenix Splash for a very, very close two. Thankfully Neville stays on him but Owens grabs a rollup with the trunks for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Those high spots from Neville helped carry this, leading us to the more important ending of Owens winning. The cheating helps but I was worried that they would job him AGAIN here to set up something at Wrestlemania. It’s also nice to see Neville getting some prominent spots instead of just in a nothing six man tag.

Post match Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but SAMI ZAYN runs in and cleans house, likely setting up a big Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania.

Video from the Rock saying Wrestlemania is free for new WWE Network subscribers.

Long recap of HHH and Ambrose from last week.

Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder (with a beard) are in the back when Stephanie comes up. Stephanie thanks Ziggler for taking down a tweet about the Authority earlier today but Dolph mentions taking down the Authority a few years back. Stephanie doesn’t remember that and reminds Ziggler that she’s his boss. As if we could forget as that’s pretty much her whole character. Stephanie likes these flashbacks and gives Ziggler an elimination tag against three members of the League of Nations. Oh and Ziggler won’t have any partners.

Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae

Total Divas match, meaning we get a clip from tomorrow’s show with Nikki telling Brie how to live. Summer takes her down to start but Brie comes right back with the YES Kicks and a horrible looking BRIE MODE knee. Brie misses a middle rope cross body but here’s Lana for a distraction, allowing Summer to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:05. They haven’t used that finish as much lately so it’s not as annoying here.

Post match Lana comes to the ring and gives Brie a Bella Buster for some of her first ever physicality.

Here’s Dean Ambrose to open the second hour. He gets right to the point: this Saturday he’s hijacking the car on the road to Wrestlemania by being HHH to win the title. Dean talks about all the things he’s going to get to do like being on the cover of People Magazine and throwing out the first pitch at baseball games.

After Wrestlemania, HHH is going to have to buy Dean a new suit and lapel pins….which he doesn’t know how to work. Actually Dean isn’t going to do any of these things that come along with being WWE Champion but he loves the idea of being WWE Champion and getting to come out here and fight everyone every single night.

Cue HHH who threatens to beat Ambrose up again. Dean says he’ll take another trip to the announcers’ table and hold that WWE Championship up high. Dean: “When I do that, you can suck it.” HHH calls Roadblock a clever name that marketing came up with because Dean is at best a speed bump or a pothole. Dean wants to fight right now but HHH fights on his own time. As for tonight, Dean gets to face Bray Wyatt. That gives him a preview of Sunday where he learns that the Authority always wins.

Dolph Ziggler vs. League of Nations

Elimination rules with Del Rio as the odd man out. Barrett gets things going with the King pounding away and getting two off the Winds of Change. The knees in the ropes (which are similar to the ones Shane threw earlier tonight) set up the ten forearms from Sheamus, even though Ziggler started to fall down in the ropes. Rusev comes in for a running splash against the ropes for two. At least he isn’t talking about how much he loves Summer or Lana at the time as that feud (which wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be) is best forgotten.

A surprisingly good dropkick gets two for Rusev and it’s back to Barrett for some forearms to the back in the corner. Sheamus comes in and slowly stomps away, followed by the knee to the ribs. Barrett charges into the running DDT and goes shoulder first into the post, setting up a superkick for the first elimination. Sheamus takes a superkick as well but Rusev breaks it up. The Brogue Kick misses but Rusev kicks Ziggler in the head, setting up the Brogue for the pin 6:39.

Rating: C-. This could have been much worse as I can live with Ziggler getting one pin, especially since the League didn’t have to make an immediate save given how the rules were set up. The League is good as the enforcers for the Authority and roles like this but I’m not sure how much longer they can survive given how they’ve been treated lately.

We look back at Shane and Vince from earlier.

Video on Shane McMahon’s in-ring career.

Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks bicker about who would have won last week.

Naomi/Tamina vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks

Can’t they bring up Blue Pants and Deonna Purrazzo instead of making us watch these four again? Charlotte and Ric are at ringside because Flair needs a paycheck this badly. Cole talks about how we’ve seen this match before. At least they’re just acknowledging that their matches are repetitive now. Becky gets thrown into the heel corner to start and a right hand puts her down again. Tamina misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Sasha as everything breaks down. The Bank Statement (Cole: “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MCGREGGOR!”) puts Tamina away at 2:00.

Post match Charlotte comes in and beats down the winners.

R-Truth is delivering a pizza to Goldust (who thankfully was just right there when Truth came in) and asks to be his partner again. Goldust says a good partner would know that he was lactose intolerant and slams the pizza down. Mark Henry comes up and takes the pizza.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. AJ Styles/Chris Jericho

New Day is defending. Before the match, Big E. wants to talk about the matching tattoos they’ve gotten but apparently only he got the blue and purple unicorn. Of course Big E. was just joking until Jericho cuts him off and saves some face. Jericho and Styles now have Y2AJ shirts. Kofi gets sent to the floor to start and the challengers hit a nice double plancha to take us to an early break.

Back with Jericho in trouble but nailing a dropkick to Big E. An enziguri drops Kingston and there’s the hot tag to AJ. The moonsault reverse DDT hits as close to seamlessly as I’ve ever seen but AJ springboards into the Midnight Hour for two as Chris saves. The Lionsault crushes Kofi and AJ adds the springboard 450 for two with Big E. pulling Kingston to the floor. AJ drops Big E. with a slingshot forearm but misses the backfist to Kofi.

Back to Jericho who counters Trouble in Paradise into the Walls. AJ stops Woods from making the save but gets driven hard into the barricade. Big E. gets back up for the tag so Jericho tries the Walls on him, which doesn’t quite work. Instead Jericho sends Big E. into the post but the Codebreaker is countered into the Big Ending for the clean pin to retain at 11:38.

Rating: B+. They had me a few times in this one and the action after the hot tag to AJ never really stopped. This was more of a showcase for AJ than anything else with the springboards looking as smooth as they have yet in WWE. Jericho getting pinned clean opens up a few doors but I’m not sure where New Day goes at Wrestlemania, unless Bullet Club gets a very fast callup. AJ and Jericho could go various places as well.

Post match AJ and Jericho get an ovation but Jericho turns heel with a Codebreaker to Styles. That might have worked better if Jericho hadn’t just lost clean but at least we get a FOURTH match between these two. I mean, just a thought but maybe you shouldn’t do a (potential) Wrestlemania match three times before Wrestlemania. Jericho gives him two more Codebreakers for good measure before stuffing the Y2AJ shirt in AJ’s mouth.

Back from a break with Jericho complaining about the fans chanting for AJ. They can enjoy it while they can because they won’t be chanting for AJ Styles anymore.

Tyler Breeze vs. Kalisto

Non-title. Breeze blasts him in the face to start as the announcers talk about Jericho. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and it’s the corkscrew cross body into the Salida Del Sol for the pin on Breeze at 2:17.

Big Boss Man Hall of Fame announcement. I’m so happy over this one.

Kalisto is in the back and talks about idolizing people like Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero at Wrestlemania. Cue Ryback to ask why he doesn’t have a Wrestlemania match yet. Kalisto might be one of the best pound for pound wrestlers in WWE today but that’s not what we’re talking about here. Ryback says Kalisto has a mask just like a superhero but that’s not how things work in the real world. Kalisto needs to be the US Champion on his own instead of as one half of the Lucha Dragons. Watch him do this on his own tonight. No match was made here and it felt more like a way to split up the Dragons (thank goodness).

Here are the Social Outcasts to talk about how sad it is that Ryback doesn’t want to be part of a team. He can’t play team dodgeball (like on Heath Slater’s new show Game Night on WWE.com) or be a Ghostbuster, but above all that he can’t be a Social Outcast. Tonight the Axeman cometh, which means they all start making strange noises and chopping the air with their hand.

Ryback vs. Curtis Axel

This is joined in progress after a break (because reasons) with Axel getting in his jobber offense until the Thesz press allows Ryback to slam Axel head first into the mat. A CM Punk style running knee in the corner (complete with a Go To Sleep motion) sends Axel to the floor but an Outcasts distraction lets Axel get in a cheap shot for two. Just like last week, Ryback pounds him down into near unconsciousness, setting up the Shell Shock for the pin at 2:08. Again, no reason for this to go to a break before the match.

We recap the opening again.

Stephanie comes in to see Vince and asks what happens if Shane wins.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray still has nothing to do at Wrestlemania but he does talk about conquering the conqueror this Saturday. Tonight he’ll use Dean as an example. No Family with Bray this week. Some early elbows put Bray in trouble and Dean cranks on both legs at the same time. Dean drives in even more elbows to Bray’s head in the corner until Bray runs him over with the cross body as we take a break.

Back with Bray suplexing Dean to keep control before taking him outside for a double clothesline. They get back in with Dean hammering away and trying the rebound lariat, only to have Bray take Dean’s head off because he’s smart enough to figure out that Dean is doing the exact same thing he always does. Dean knocks him out to the floor but the suicide dive is countered into Sister Abigail. That’s countered as well so Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade. Back in again and Dean scores with the rebound lariat followed by the top rope elbow, only to have the Wyatts come in for the DQ at 11:50.

Rating: C+. I was digging this one until the ending that you kind of had to know was coming. At least they didn’t have either of them doing a clean job here as I was kind of expecting them to. Bray countering the rebound lariat was a nice touch too because wrestlers being smart is always cool to see. Good main event though it’s more of a storytelling device than anything else.

Post match the Wyatts destroy Dean until HHH comes out. Bray stares at HHH and even touches the title (fans: “YES!”) before the Family leaves. HHH loads up the announcers’ table but walks into Dirty Deeds. Dean holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. While still not a very good show, this was WAY better than what they did last week. It’s amazing how much better a show is when you have anything besides Stephanie reminding us (AGAIN) that she’s the most amazing thing since that time Randy Savage woke up Hulk Hogan with a top rope elbow because Hogan only Hulked Up from finishers. The problem here though is that this Wrestlemania really isn’t very strong and there’s only so much they can do to build that up, especially with the lack of people actually appearing.

I can’t imagine anything big happens at Roadblock but maybe they’ll throw in a big (and possibly much needed) curve ball. That being said, the idea of Reigns not appearing until Wrestlemania (as Raw is in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and Brooklyn before then) might not be out of the question either. It really is a weird build to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure what’s going to happen before we get there. In this case though, I’m not liking that feeling.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Summer Rae b. Brie Bella – Rollup

League of Nations b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks b. Tamina/Naomi – Bank Statement to Tamina

New Day b. Chris Jericho/AJ Styles – Big Ending to Jericho

Kalisto b. Tyler Breeze – Salida Del Sol

Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock

Dean Ambrose b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered

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