Monday Night Raw – May 19, 2014: That’s A Lot Of Phones

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2014
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

 

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

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Smackdown – May 16, 2014: The Importance Of Minions

Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2014
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back in WCW country now but the interesting thing is the lack of a healthy WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan has been forced out of action by neck surgery, meaning we’re likely to have the title vacated in the near future. Other than that we’re still focused on the Shield vs. Evolution which will likely get a lot of TV time tonight, along with Cena vs. Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Daniel Bryan announcing his neck surgery from Monday. He promises he’ll be back.

Here’s Cena to get things going. We get a quick video of Bray Wyatt mentioning a last man standing match on Raw. First up though, Cena wishes Daniel Bryan the best and hopes he gets back soon. That brings Cena around to Bray, who he knows can’t want a last man standing match. Bray doesn’t have the heart to get into a match where there are no rules and you have to beat your opponent so senseless that they can’t answer the count of ten. Cena has been in those kind of matches before and knows what they’re like.

Bray is a far more intelligent person than that because he doesn’t have any of the dozen words Cena uses for testicles. Cena accepts the challenge for a last man standing match at Payback. However that leaves us with nothing to do tonight, so Cena thinks we should have a fight. He makes an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family and Bray gets to make the pick. Cena bets that Bray won’t pick himself but here’s Wyatt to answer.

Bray says Cena doesn’t know him as well as he thinks he does. Wyatt walks with monsters and sings with spirits while Cena’s world begs on its knees for mercy. Now comes the end of the story. Whoever shall be the last man standing will conquer all, but whoever loses will be trapped in the prison of his own thoughts. Cena can make all the jokes he wants but Bray wants to thank him. John has opened Bray’s mind and shown him the key to all of Bray’s problems. His cure will take the air from Cena’s lungs. The challenge for tonight is accepted.

Bolieve!

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Usos

Non-title. Goldust and Jey get us going with the Uso being run over by a shoulder block and taking an atomic drop. Some armdrags take Goldust down as Cole tells us about Cody celebrating about his win over Sandow on Raw. Speaking of Cody he comes in off a missile dropkick and cranks on a hammerlock. It’s not good enough to prevent a tag though as Jimmy comes in and works on an armbar of his own.

The champions start their fast tags to stay on Cody with a double elbow drop for two. Cody fights over and tags in Goldie for some elbows of his own. Rhodes low bridges Jey to the floor to take over in a rather heelish move. We take a break and come back with Cody whipping Jey into the corner for another near fall. Goldust sends Jey’s weakened arm into the post and gets two off a powerslam.

Back to Rhodes who stays on the arm but gets caught by a shot to the ribs. Goldust saves the hot tag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Jimmy to come in. The Samoan drop and running Umaga attack are good for two on Rhodes. Everything breaks down with Goldust and Jey fighting to the floor. The Disaster Kick lays Jimmy out but Jey makes the save. Jimmy comes back with the superkick and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 8:20 shown of 10:50.

Rating: C. Basic but well done match here with both teams looking fine. This was much more interesting than watching Cody have a two minute singles match that goes nowhere for the same purpose. It could also play up the idea of Cody not being able to do anything with Goldust around and wanting to do everything on his own.

Cody is upset post match and leaves on his own.

El Torito vs. Heath Slater

Slater holds up a cape for no apparent reason and gets gored from behind. Heath slams him down and kicks Torito around with his boot before posing a bit. Torito tries to fight back but Slater holds him back with one hand. Horny tries to come in but hits Slater by mistake, allowing Torito to hit a moonsault press for the pin at 2:18.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution on Monday.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Eva Marie is guest referee for no apparent reason. Natalya takes her down to start and we get a nice bridge up into an attempted backslide. A discus lariat gets two on Nikki but she comes back with a kind of facebuster for two. Natalya comes back with a surfboard but Nikki rolls backwards into a cradle for the pin at 2:30. Again they were there for how they looked in their outfits, but this was WAY better than Raw.

Dolph Ziggler is in the back and says that Batista is the weak link of Evolution. He can’t just come back and be the star that he once was. Tonight the Show Off is going to show Batista up.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Feeling out process to start with Ziggler actually knocking Batista out to the floor. Big Dave pulls him out as well and sends Dolph hard into the steps. Back in and Dolph is whipped into the corner before a suplex gets two. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds, followed by a wicked spinebuster to put Ziggler down. Ziggler punches out of the Batista Bomb and comes back with a DDT to put both guys down. Batista misses a charge into the post and Dolph hammers away until Batista hits him low for the DQ at 4:32.

Rating: C-. These guys have always had good chemistry together, even back when Dolph was first starting out in the WWE. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it’s nice to see Ziggler hanging in there with Batista. I really wouldn’t mind seeing these guys get a nice long match someday which isn’t something I’d think I’d say about Batista.

Batista lays out Ziggler post match, powerbombing him onto the barricade.

Titus O’Neil vs. Sheamus

Non-title and fallout from a few weeks ago when Titus jumped Sheamus before a match, only to get beaten in about 40 seconds. Before the match this time, Titus says Sheamus didn’t even pin anyone for the title. He shouldn’t be US Champion because he’s not from the United States. On top of that, everyone in the company is tough, including Titus. He gives Sheamus a chance to get out of the ring before the match. Bell, Brogue Kick, Sheamus laughs, pin at 15 seconds. According to a live report, Titus called Sheamus “hot mayonnaise white”, which must have been edited out.

Byron Saxton tries to interview Adam Rose but Adam is more interested in a cheeseburger. He has no issue with Jackie Swagger, even though he finds Zeb and Jack boring. A big lemon comes out of the bus and Byron declares himself a Rosebud. Someone puts a clown wig on Saxton’s head and he starts dancing.

Bolieve!

Santino Marella vs. Damien Sandow

This is the result of Sandow’s open challenge. Sandow hammers away to start but misses a charge into the corner, gets caught with the Cobra and pinned in 40 seconds.

Post match Sandow goes on a rant about what a great soldier he is and how the fans love it when the smart guy loses. However someone keeps leaving the mic on, which cues the mic guy to cut the sound. This might go somewhere if Sandow ever got to say anything.

Video of Cena at the Susan G. Komen rally in Washington DC.

R-Truth vs. Cesaro

Truth is a North Carolina boy so the fans are even more into him. Before the match we get the usual schtick from Heyman, this time focusing on the truth of Brock Lesnar conquering the Streak, and Cesaro winning the Andre battle royal being what’s up. Cesaro jumps Truth during WHAT’S UP but Truth does his backflip into the side kick for two. The ax kick misses though and it’s Swiss Death into the Neutralizer for the pin at 1:15.

The Raw ReBound talks about Bryan being attacked after his announcement of requiring neck surgery. The update says Bryan’s surgery was a success. Another update will be coming on Monday, along with an announcement on the future of the title.

It’s time for the main event and all three Wyatts surround Cena. This brings out the Usos to even things up as we take a break.

John Cena vs. ???

Bray selects Erick Rowan to do the dirty work tonight. Rowan takes it right to Cena in the corner before slamming him down in the middle of the ring. John fights back with right hands but runs into a back elbow to the jaw. Cena is thrown to the floor and then into the steps, right in front of Wyatt. Back in and Erick does the two fist head vice before throwing him right back to the floor.

John gets back in and Rowan runs him over again before we hit the bearhug. A modified Boss Man Slam gets two on Cena but he fights back with the ProtoBomb and Shuffle. Cena dives into a fall away slam followed by a splash in the corner. Not that it matters as Cena grabs the STF, drawing in Harper. Jey easily takes him out though and a dive to the floor drops Harper again. Rowan busts out a claw slam of all things for two, only to walk into the AA for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C. That’s the beauty of minions for Wyatt. On top of that it was a decent power match with Rowan continuing to look fine. He and Harper have a future as a tag team and likely will get the shot against the Usos at Payback. It’ll be a solid power vs. speed match and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Overall Rating: C-. This was another meaningless Smackdown but there are far worse ways to spend a Friday night. Like reading through all the people running off at the mouth about the stock falling. The short matches worked in a way as I didn’t have time to get annoyed or bored with a lot of the lame acts. Some story progression took place, but everything is kind of in limbo due to the impending announcement about the title and the European tour.

Results
Usos b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Superkick to Rhodes
El Torito b. Heath Slater – Moonsault press
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Dolph Ziggler b. Batista via DQ when Batista hit him low
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick
Santino Marella b. Damien Sandow – Cobra
Cesaro b. R-Truth – Neutralizer
John Cena b. Erick Rowan – Attitude Adjustment

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: May 12, 2014

Monday was one of those nights where it seemed like things were going to be moving forward at a snail’s pace but then a big curve ball changed everything. In this case, it was one heck of an announcement. Let’s get to it.

We’ll cover the other show long story to start. Shield hunted Evolution all last night and got the better of the old guard almost all night. They jumped Evolution as they arrived, then jumped then again during Evolution’s promo, then fought them off to end the show. As they’ve done since their debut, Shield looked incredibly strong all night and looked like they were ready to run over Evolution at Payback.

Now in theory Evolution wins the second round to set up a BIG showdown at Money in the Bank or whatever the next PPV is. However, I’m not sure where Shield goes after that. They don’t need to to split given how over they are at the moment, but I’m not sure I see the superstar in Reigns that is supposed to be there. He’s not bad, but I see him as more of a Batista while Ambrose is more of the top guy type. Not that being Batista is bad, but I don’t quite see the huge potential as much as I used to.

Adam Rose screwed Jack Swagger out of a match with RVD to advance their feud. Nothing to see here but it worked well enough.

Paige beat Alicia Fox, sending Fox into a huge fit post match. This was supposed to be the start of something, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. Yeah she looks great in her outfits and the cowboy hat really worked on her, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. I’m aware I repeated that because it’s for emphasis. She would literally change from teaming with faces or heels week to week so it’s hard to take her seriously. More on this later.

Now we get to the real story of the night: Daniel Bryan has a bad neck and will have surgery, putting him out of action for an unknown amount of time (I’ve heard anywhere from 4-8 weeks). I’m not sure what this means for the title, but if it’s over two months there’s almost no way they can’t take the title off of him. If nothing else have the Authority take it from him so they can get more heel heat.

One thing they did very well was to get the heat on Kane for the attack. This came later in the show but again we’ll tie these things together instead of jumping around. Later in the night Daniel Bryan was called out by Stephanie but wound up being dragged to the stage by Kane. This makes it look like Kane just annihilated an injured man in the back instead of doing some over the top insanity. It’s very nice to see them leave it to your imagination instead of flat out showing what Kane did as it makes things all the more sinister. I miss little things like that.

I’ll spare you my predictions about what happens to Bryan and/or the title until after we’re sure what’s going to happen to the championship. If they change it however, I wouldn’t be opposed to Kane as a short term champion. Right now there really isn’t anyone else to put the thing on, so why not give it to Kane so someone can slay the dragon?

Speaking of slaying a dragon, Cena and the Usos beat the Wyatt Family in a good six man tag. Cena got the pin on Rowan, which is the point of having minions. It keeps Bray vs. Cena going and apparently we’ll be going towards a last man standing match at Payback. The match should be awesome but again, Wyatt needs to win. Cena has lost them before and it makes me feel a lot better than if this were say an I Quit match.

Nikki Bella beat Natalya in a bad match. The story here was the Total Divas on the floor holding up signs to score the moves. This offended Natalya as I think we’re looking at a heel turn. This appeared to be part of the Total Divas story, which makes sense as Natalya is treated as an outcast most of the time on there.

This brings us back to Alicia Fox earlier in the night. While these may not be the most interesting stories in the world, they’re light years ahead of the 45 second “matches” that dominated the Divas division for so long and made them a complete waste. I don’t really care what happens, but I’d much rather see them have stories than just fill in time and act like they’re important.

Sheamus beat Curtis Axel and Ryback in a row. Much like the Divas, it’s nothing all that great but it’s better than having them do nothing all night and then wonder why they didn’t get over. Sheamus beating midcarders is as fine a way as any to get the title some respect, especially when someone will eventually give him a real challenge for the title. I was pleased with this one.

Dolph Ziggler beat Fandango but the dancer didn’t mind because he’s still got Layla. This is going to need some more time before it goes anywhere, but much like Alicia, it’s hard to bring myself to care about someone like Fandango.

Jim Duggan came out to chant USA, which of course drew out Lana and Rusev. Big E. tried to make a save but Rusev easily dispatched him. Rusev beating Big E. would be a nice win, but man alive has E. fallen in a hurry. Sidenote: assuming he squashes Big E., this gives Rusev the following wins: R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston and Big E. You do the math.

Damien Sandow talked about being silenced and then lost to a cheating Cody Rhodes. At least there’s something there, but Cody as a heel needs to happen already as they’ve been teasing it for like ever now.

Batista vs. Reigns happened and that’s about it. Shield beating up the midcard wasn’t a huge stretch as Rollins/Ambrose were fresh and they both had chairs.

Overall Raw did some changing last night and it’s giving me hope for the future. As mentioned, a lot of people are getting stories. No they’re not the most interesting stories in the world or the most intersting characters, but they’re HAPPENING. That’s something the midcard and Divas have been lacking for so long and it’s nice to see an attempt at it, even if it winds up being lip service.

Other than that the big stories are of course Bryan and Shield, but we don’t have enough information on Bryan yet. Shield on the other hand continues their rise to being one of the best units of all time, even though I’m not sure where they end up. The nice thing, and for one of the first times in years, I have confidence that they’ll make it work somehow. It’s so nice to be able to feel that again.

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Monday Night Raw – May 12, 2014: NO Daniel NO, YES Shield YES

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2014
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

There really isn’t much to say about this show. It looks like Payback is all set up and interest in it basically comes down to whether you liked Extreme Rules or not. There’s not much new in terms of storylines save for the debut of Adam Rose last week in a segment rather than a match. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with a recap of Sheamus winning the US Title in the battle royal last week and Evolution beating up Shield to end the show.

Shield is in the ring and not very happy to get things going. Ambrose admits that they took a beating last week and went down, but tonight they’re standing tall in this ring. Rollins says they’re running at Evolution, and if Evolution is made up of men, they’ll accept a challenge for a rematch. Evolution used to be really good, but they’re not what they once were because they can’t evolve to beat the Shield.

Reigns shakes his head and Seth is surprised he has something to say. Roman takes the mic and says Evolution victimized his brothers a week ago. All of that made him realize that it’s all Evolution has. If that’s all they have, then they have a serious problem. Shield can serve justice cold and slowly and they’ll teach Evolution to believe in payback, the Shield, and in Roman Reigns. Not exactly great promo work there from Roman.

Evolution’s limo is seen arriving with Shield still watching. HHH and company get out of the limo and Shield sprints to the back. HHH signs some papers and Shield is here for the fight. Security quickly breaks it up but Evolution is left laying on the concrete with HHH holding his head.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger

We come back from a break with Zeb telling the fans to sit there and shut up. Last week he was reading the Bill of Rights when Adam Rose interrupted him. Rose and his band of hippies and Rocky Horror Picture Show rejects aren’t American, so Adam needs to keep his distance. The bell rings and here come Adam Rose and his entourage. Rose comes to the ring and gets on the middle rope but falls onto the party when Swagger swings. JBL: “All we need is Kurrgan and the Oddities!” Rose and company leave, allowing Van Dam to hit a superkick and the Five Star for the pin at 2:10.

Video on Paige.

Bolieve!

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Alicia grabs a mic before the match and says Paige has managed to alienate the entire Divas division in just six weeks, so she needs to get out. Fox slaps Paige in the face and drives knees to the ribs before the bell. Paige says start the match but gets kneed again and hit with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Fox rams her into the post for two back inside and gets two more off a northern lights suplex.

A neckbreaker and backbreaker put Paige down again for a very delayed two. We get a very modified surfboard with Fox’s feet in Paige’s back before slamming her face first down onto the mat. Fox struts around the ring before ramming Paige face first into the mat a few times. She puts on a headlock for no apparent reason and gets caught in the Paige Turner for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. The match was there to make Paige look good and it worked well enough. This is one of those WWE tropes: have someone dominate for a good while and then lose in the end to one big move. It doesn’t really do much for the heel but at least the right person won, right?

Post match Alicia freaks out and destroys part of the announce table before throwing a beer everywhere. She says she should be Divas Champion before slapping a production guy and stealing JBL’s hat.

We recap the Kane/Bryan/Brie segment from last week.

Here’s Daniel Bryan with something to say. He says it’s been a long road to get right here. From the moment he won the title at Summerslam, he knew this thing would be a huge uphill battle. The fans aren’t sure if they should cheer or not. Bryan: “So that’s what it feels like to be John Cena.” After the attacks from Shield, Randy Orton and the Authority and with everyone behind him, he climbed the mountain and won the title at Wrestlemania.

Then he took the worst beating of his life at Kane’s hands but he beat Kane at Extreme Rules. However, his style has taken a toll on his body. Unfortunately he has to pay the price this week with neck surgery and he’s not happy about it. The Authority must be thrilled though because they think his career is done. There’s a chance that his career is done but it won’t be. He doesn’t know when he’ll come back, but there’s only one answer to if he’ll come back: YES! No word on what happens to the title.

We look back at the end of the cage match at Extreme Rules and Bray’s speech last week.

Usos/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

Rematch from Smackdown where Harper pinned Jimmy. Harper and Jey get things going with Luke getting rolled up for two. An uppercut staggers Harper and a jumping clothesline puts him down for two. Off to Rowan for some choking on the ropes and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes. The LET’S GO CENA fans actually get louder than their opponents as Bray works over Jey in the corner for a bit.

Back to Harper who fires off a kick to the face. A flying headbutt from Jey is enough for the first hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Cole says the Wyatts can’t get it together despite them controlling nearly the entire match so far. Rowan distracts Jimmy, allowing Harper to kick Jimmy’s head off for two. Back to Bray for some knees to the head followed by the Gator Roll from Harper. Erick drops Jimmy across his knee and chokes even more. Back to the leader who muscles Jimmy into the corner and hits the running splash, only to get kicked in the face to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Cena to clean house on Rowan before nailing Harper in the face with a right hand. Rowan falls to the floor to escape the AA, allowing Harper to slam Cena face first onto the mat. Jey comes in with a high cross body to Harper but walks into a release Rock Bottom. An enziguri (actually a knee) to the head drops Bray, followed by Cena putting Rowan in the STF, only to have Bray make the save. Bray gets all googly eyed until Jimmy superkicks him down to break up Sister Abigail. Harper gets kicked as well, setting up the double flying Uso to the floor. Back inside and the AA to Rowan gets the pin at 9:42.

Rating: C+. This was much better than the original and it gives Cena some momentum without making Bray look bad. That’s the perk of having minions like Harper and Rowan as you can beat them without sacrificing any of Bray’s heat. It’s not a great match or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Post match Bray thanks Cena for making him realize exactly what Bray needs to do. Follow the buzzards.

Here’s Evolution with something to say. Orton knows Evolution has had enough of the Shield and it’s time to take them out. It’s time to put the Hounds of Justice to sleep. Batista shouts that he’s had enough and HHH says it’s time to take the gloves off and finish this. At Extreme Rules the Shield proved how great they were but that’s why HHH fed the roster to them. However, Shield got too big for themselves but HHH was wrong to think he could salvage something out of them.

If Shield wants a rematch at Payback, then so be it. Evolution will do what they do best and take Shield apart. They’ll start by humbling Ambrose before taking the hummingbird’s wings away from Rollins. That leaves Roman Reigns and Evolution will take their time to make an example out of him. Reigns will fail to adapt and….that’s all HHH gets out as Shield jumps them from behind. Shield easily clears the ring and Evolution scatters. Batista gets on the mic and says he’s had enough of all three of them. He challenges Reigns for tonight and Roman looks ready.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

This is due to Nikki not liking Natalya’s painting on Total Divas. This would have taken place roughly five months ago and they’re just now having the match. More of the Total Divas are at ringside and holding up cards with scores on them for the moves being used. Nattie takes Nikki down with ease to start but it’s quickly reversed by some elbows from Nikki.

A middle rope knee to the chest gets two on Natalya but she slaps Nikki in the face and puts on an abdominal stretch. Nikki reverses into one of her own before Nattie fights out and hammers away. The match turns into a brawl until Nikki tries a wheelbarrow slam but gets countered into a rollup. The counter is countered into an AWFUL looking rollup for the pin on Natalya at 3:30.

Rating: D. Nikki looks good in very tiny shorts and that’s about all I’ve got.

Natalya freaks out on the other Divas post match. This seems like the start of a heel turn.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel

Axel gets the non-title match here by winning a coin flip. Sheamus hammers away to start and drops a knee to the head for two. Axel comes back with a kick to the face and a running knee lift for two of his own. A charge in the corner hits Sheamus’ boot and he goes up top, only to get crotched down onto the ropes. Curtis gets two more off a neckbreaker from the top but a dropkick is countered into the Cloverleaf to make Axel tap at 3:20.

Rating: D+. This is fine for Sheamus as he gets to be in the ring with a quick story and get a win. There wasn’t much to the match but it’s a Curtis Axel match so what were you expecting? Having Sheamus just run over former midcard champions is a fine idea and something that could work well for him.

Ryback jumps Sheamus post match and I think Sheamus is in action again after a break.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Joined in progress with Ryback holding Sheamus in a chinlock. I’d assume this is non-title as well. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus but he’s able to get his knees up to block a splash. Sheamus hammers away in the corner and nails the running ax handles to the face. Ryback sends him to the apron but that just allows Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

They don’t have a ton of effect though as Ryback grabs that over the shoulder Stunner for a close two. The Meathook is countered into White Noise for two more. Brogue Kick misses and Ryback grabs a spinebuster for two, only to walk into a running powerslam for two. Sheamus misses a swing at Axel, allowing the Meathook to put him down. Shell Shock doesn’t work and the Brogue Kick is finally good for the pin at 5:33 shown.

Rating: C+. I liked this WAY better than I thought I would as they were allowed to have an entertaining power match. There’s always something fun about two big strong guys just beating the tar out of each other for awhile with big move after big move. I still don’t get the heel turn they’re allegedly pushing for with Sheamus and this didn’t help anything.

Here’s Stephanie with something to say. She talks about Daniel telling us a story earlier tonight about climbing a mountain to reach his goal. Bryan won the title at Wrestlemania and then defeated the demon at Extreme Rules, but now it means he has to have neck surgery. All that proves is one thing: Bryan is simply not an A+ player. His body just couldn’t take it and that’s why Stephanie tried to protect him all these months. However, she has to do what’s best for business and there’s no way of knowing how this surgery is going to go.

Stephanie tells Daniel to come out and see her face to face but here’s Kane instead. Kane comes out, dragging Bryan’s unconscious body. Bryan’s shirt is ripped and his head looks to be slightly cut. There’s your injury angle to get him off television and make Kane look good in the process. Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher as Brie and Stephanie look on in concern.

Post break Brie shoves Stephanie away from the ambulance and tells her to stay out of this.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

Fandango takes Ziggler down with ease to start and gyrates a bit before throwing Dolph out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with some right hands, only to get caught with a knee to the side of the head. A snap suplex gets two on Ziggler and we hit the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and hammers away in the corner. Fandango comes back with a hard falcon’s arrow for two more but he misses the guillotine legdrop, setting up the Fameasser for another near fall. A Layla distraction lets Fandango hit a quick spinwheel kick for two but Layla gets caught in the ring skirt. That distraction sets up the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: D+. Layla is GORGEOUS but I’m getting bored with these midcard guys trading wins. Thankfully they’ve switched the people up a bit but it doesn’t make for the most interesting matches in the world. There’s potential for Fandango to be a ladies man character as the dancing thing begins to fade away.

Post match Fandango knows that he’s a winner because he still has Layla. He says he loves her and Layla’s smile lights up the arena. JBL: “This is revolting.”

Here’s Jim Duggan, likely to promote Legends House. He says he’s sure we’re all watching the show but here’s Lana to interrupt. She says Duggan is just like England and America: a once great nation that has become a joke. China now has the biggest economy in the world and Rusev is proud to represent Vladimir Putin.

Duggan doesn’t take kindly to this and starts a USA chant. Lana gives Duggan a chance to beg but Duggan swings the board. Rusev easily takes it away and breaks the board over his knee. Lana says crush but here’s Big E. for the attempted save. Rusev easily dispatches Big E. and kicks him to the floor before standing tall.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution throughout the night.

Damien Sandow, who has shorter hair than the last time I saw him, comes out for a match and says people have been trying to silence what he has to say. Theme music cuts him off again.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down with a fireman’s carry takeover and gives some sarcastic applaud. Sandow drops to the mat to avoid a Disaster Kick and goes after Cody’s knee. A snap suplex gets two on Rhodes and we hit the chinlock. Cody fights up but gets sent throat first into the middle rope. Sandown hits a running hip attack to the back of Rhodes’ head followed by a missed Wind-Up Elbow.

Instead Damien takes him down to the apron for the elbow from the floor. Back to the chinlock for a few seconds before Cody makes his real comeback with a springboard missile dropkick. Sandow escapes Cross Rhodes and hammers away in the corner, only to have Cody rake the eyes and nail the Disaster Kick for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. Well the heel turn had to start somewhere and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes would work as well as anything else. I do feel sorry for Sandow though as he can’t even beat a guy on a losing streak. The match was nothing special as you would expect but at least there was a point to it.

Bolieve!

We look at the Bryan situation earlier tonight.

The Wyatts appear and Bray talks about how Cena’s actions don’t surprise him anymore because Cena is a human. All humans are flawed by their own greed and actions, preventing them from thriving in this paradise. Cena is just like them with his boundless narcissism, leading him right to Bray. Where does this end though?

Does Cena want to capture the head of the beast for his mantle? How can you do that when the beast is waiting for you? When mountains crumble and the oceans boil, Bray Wyatt will be left standing. Where will John Cena stand? How far is he willing to go to take the devil down? Time to sing but I think that was meant to set up a last man standing match at Payback.

Roman Reigns vs. Batista

Batista drives him into the corner to start and nails those shoulders, only to have Reigns counter with some of his own. A hard whip puts Batista into the corner and another sends him into the steps. Back in and Batista sends Reigns’ shoulder into the post to almost no effect. Reigns is right back with a running clothesline but Orton and HHH get up on the apron. That goes nowhere so Reigns hits a running clothesline in the corner.

HHH and Orton block the apron dropkick though, so Ambrose and Rollins hit those sweet stereo dives. Reigns nails the kick to the head and the other four fight by the announce table. HHH breaks up the Superman Punch but Rollins breaks up a Pedigree attempt on the floor as the match is thrown out at 4:22.

Rating: C-. Another decent power match while it lasted but you don’t want to have either of these guys job. I’m really curious to see where this goes though as Shield has been booked so strong for their entire run now, I can’t imagine them losing in the end. I also can’t picture any of them being ready for the big singles push either so I’m not sure where this goes.

Post match HHH is surrounded but Stephanie sends out most of the midcard to take out Shield. They surround Reigns and HHH gets a chair, only to have Reigns explode with a spear. Rollins and Ambrose both grab chairs to clean house and the Shield stands tall again. The place is going NUTS for this. Fandango takes the Dirty Deeds onto the chair and there’s Peace of Mind onto the chair for Axel. Slater gets a Superman Punch and it’s a spear and Triple Bomb to Ryback. Shield tells Evolution to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a difficult show to grade. The wrestling certainly wasn’t anything great for the most part, but the majority of the matches were good enough to pass. That being said, the big stuff tonight came in the form of stories, as Bryan likely having to drop the titles opens up a lot of doors. There’s a chance Kane becomes champion but I can’t picture it happening. What I also can’t picture is who gets the belt next unless they put it on Cena again as a holding pattern. This has the potential to be very interesting, but I’d expect them to play it safe.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner
John Cena/Usos b. Wyatt Family – Attitude Adjustment to Rowan
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Sheamus b. Curtis Axel – Cloverleaf
Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns vs. Batista went to a no contest

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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014

This week was the first show after the sequel to Wrestlemania and it seems like we’re setting up the third part of the trilogy even though people don’t seem all that interested in what we’re getting. In other words, it’s spring in the WWE. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with Dean Ambrose defending the US Title in a battle royal. He wound up losing the title to Sheamus as the last man in the match and I can’t complain at all. This accomplishes two things: it gets the title off Ambrose who had held it for nearly a year and gives Sheamus something to do. It also makes the US Title seem more important as a big name like Sheamus is holding it now. With only one world title now, there simply isn’t room for guys like Sheamus, Del Rio, Christian and Ziggler to challenge for the big belt. You elevate the midcard titles and everything fits much better.

I’ll cover all of the Bryan/Brie/Stephanie/Kane stuff here. This of course leads us to the Disco Inferno. He used to post on the WrestleZone Forums as a paid guest and made a comment once that makes so much sense: “If a champion pins a challenger clean, why in the world would I want to watch them fight again?” That’s the problem with Kane vs. Bryan again. Bryan pinned Kane in the middle of the ring after his finisher. The question was “what can Bryan do to stop Kane?” We answered that at Extreme Rules but the feud is continuing because they have nothing else to do and the script says it has to continue. That’s rarely interesting.

What makes it even worse is how they’re going about doing it. From the camera in the back of the car to the Michael Myers feeling the segment had to having to watch Stephanie’s acting to the supernatural stuff with the Kane masks everywhere to how stupid the other segments are likely to be, this stuff got old fast. I don’t want to watch a bad slasher movie, but at least it’s better than Zack Ryder as Bryan will actually fight back. Also I don’t mind Brie Bella being there as it doesn’t feel incredibly forced and Bryan is the kind of character that seems like he’d be a family man.

Cesaro got disqualified for attacking RVD too much. The match wasn’t anything great but Cesaro had RVD defeated when he got disqualified which made this way easier to sit through. This is what RVD should be used for and he did it to perfection.

Bray Wyatt’s promo worked very well as he talked about being a god instead of just a leader. It seems that his feud with Cena will continue and again, Bray needs to win the third match. That would open the door for stories going forward and it’s not like Cena needs the win. Yeah the Extreme Rules match felt forced, but at least there’s a story here that makes me want to see where it goes, unlike the World Title feud.

Ryback beat Cody Rhodes to continue the Rhodes Brothers breakup that is going on too long now. Nothing to see here.

Los Matadores and Torito beat up 3MB. I have no idea where they can go after Sunday and I really don’t care to find out.

Rusev has dropped the Alexander and squashed Kofi Kingston. Again I didn’t care too much about the match as Lana was very distracting in blue.

Daniel Bryan beat Alberto Del Rio in a good match. This is the kind of thing I’d love to see as the co-main event of the B shows. You don’t have to have A-list star vs. A-list star as the main event of every show. Have another big match on the side (Shield vs. Evolution in a big gimmick match for example) and have Bryan go 25 minutes with Del Rio or Ziggler etc. Bryan gets a win over a former World Champion, the other guy gets a rub and doesn’t look bad in losing to Bryan and maybe he even looks better in the future. It worked at In Your House and it can work here.

Bad News Barrett beat Big E. again to retain the Intercontinental Title. This was as by the books as you could get and there’s really nothing wrong with that. Big E. needs a story instead of a feud now though, which isn’t likely to happen as the writers aren’t that competent.

We got a Mother’s Day message from Mr. T., which was basically just a way to make fun of his Hall of Fame speech. This kind of stuff makes WWE look so childish and likely is done to entertain themselves. They’re already borderline toxic to most big name stars, so why would they make fun of someone willing to work with them? What does this one off, 90 second joke accomplish?

Adam Rose debuted but didn’t wrestle. His first match/feud is going to be with Jack Swagger, which is WAY better than having him squash jobbers for a month while we wait for someone of note to fight him. The fans were way into the character which is the right idea, even though Rose doesn’t have a long shelf life. Also Zeb dancing, even if by accident, was hysterical.

Shield vs. Wyatts was nothing we haven’t seen before but it wasn’t bad. We got all the usual spots and sequences until Evolution came out for the distraction. The show ended with Evolution standing tall, which is the right move if they’re continuing the story.

Overall Raw was a decent show but Payback seems like they’re running on whatever fuel they had left over at Wrestlemania. Evolution vs. Shield should be an interesting second PPV match but I’m hoping they go for three singles matches instead of another match and THEN have another six man tag. Cena vs. Wyatt III all depends on the ending and Bryan vs. Kane II is just nothing I want to see. Still though, there was enough good to get me through Raw on Monday, but it didn’t do much to make me care about the future going forward.

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Reviewing the Review: Extreme Rules 2014

Extreme Rules was last night and over the course of a three and a half hour show, there’s really only one match that people seem to disagree with my take on.

We’ll start with the pre show where Torito beat Hornswoggle in the WeeLC match. I was dreading this one coming in but man alive was I wrong. This was the kind of parody that WWE can do really well when they’re given the chance and that’s what happened here. Between the mini commentators (PERFECT, all the way down to JBElf calling Michael “Mikkael” in a dead on imitation), the mini weapons and Drew McIntyre’s big old dive, this was about 4857 times better than it had any right to be. As I said though, I hope WWE doesn’t run this into the ground by having the same idea over and over until it loses its strength.

The three way elimination match was exactly what I expected. It wasn’t a great match but having Cesaro get a definitive win over two former World Champions on PPV is going to do nothing but good for him. The response I saw on the forums was mainly people complaining about the people looking uninspired, but it really wasn’t all that bad. The trashcan at the end didn’t need to be there though and felt like part of another match.

Rusev destroying Woods and Truth illustrated one thing: Lana has some gorgeous legs.

Barrett getting the title back was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that. Big E. was being dragged down by the title and I’m sure that’s going to happen to Bad News at some point in the near future as well. The fans being way into Barrett everywhere he goes is a good sign though.

Evolution and Shield was exactly what I was expecting and it still rocked way harder than I thought it would. The fact that Shield is hanging in there with three all time greats like they were last night was a great sign for their future. I’d assume we’ll get singles matches for the next PPV.

Now we get to Cena vs. Bray Wyatt for the match that everyone questioned my take on. I can understand people complaining about it and it’s not the kind of match where I’m going to put up a huge argument for what I saw as I can easily see all of the criticisms people have for the match. That being said, at the end of the day Bray won and it’s not like he was cheating to win. Yeah the Family came in, but it’s not like there’s a rule saying they can’t. That being said, yeah it did go a bit too far with the interference but it didn’t get to the point where I didn’t buy it.

That brings us to the end, where a child with a demonic voice distracted Cena so Bray could lay him out for the win. Honestly, was this any more over the top than the choir on Monday which got nearly universal praise? It’s a nice followup on the Raw segment and I believe someone said it was the same kid that Cena hugged at Wrestlemania. If that’s the case, big points to WWE for pulling that out of their hat. It wasn’t as bad as Shockmaster and it definitely wasn’t as bad as Black Scorpion. The voice plays up Bray having some sort of power and taking Cena’s fans from him. What more do you need?

Paige and Tamina happened. That’s about all there is to say here.

Bryan vs. Kane was fine for a first defense and had me thinking back to In Your House 7 where Shawn beat Diesel in the no holds barred match or Austin vs. Dude Love from Over the Edge. It was designed to put Bryan in over his head but have him fight his way out like a champion should. No it wasn’t as good as either of those matches but it didn’t need to be after how awesome his Wrestlemania matches were. It did its job and Bryan can hopefully move away from Kane, though I doubt he will.

Overall the show was predictable but it was a case where there’s nothing wrong with that. The big matches were all good, nothing was bad, and we have a nice setup for the next PPV which will be rematches of rematches. I’m not sure where they’re heading for the summer but there are several possibilities. Good show this month.

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Extreme Rules 2014: I Must Confess I Still Believe. In The Shield.

Extreme Rules 2014
Date: May 4, 2014
Location: Izod Center, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the first “WWE Special” after Wrestlemania and it feels like a sequel. There are three matches that could be considered the main event and Daniel Bryan’s defense against Kane is arguably the weakest of the three. Other than that we have Shield vs. Evolution in a six man and John Cena trying to keep Bray Wyatt’s message from spreading and keeping it inside a steel cage. Let’s get to it.

 

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

The opening video talks about every authority facing some form of resistance. We also get a recap of Kane attacking Bryan and Cena trying to contain Bray Wyatt.

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Elimination rules. Before the match Heyman says that this is the only night of the year that WWE gets it right. “Tonight the tribe of extreme gets together and acknowledges the fact that……my client Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania.” The former Real Americans double team RVD to start before Cesaro hammers away on Jack with the uppercuts against the ropes. Rob gets back up though and cleans house with some kicks before monkey flipping Cesaro onto Swagger.

Cesaro catches a cross body out of mid air but Swagger kicks the legs out to get two on the Swiss Superman. Everyone heads outside for a bit as the fans are behind Van Dam. Jack and Van Dam head back inside with Swagger being thrown outside again almost immediately. Cesaro and Van Dam knock each other off the apron and Swagger runs RVD over with a clothesline for two back inside.

The Vader Bomb gets two on Van Dam but Cesaro grabs Swagger for the Swing. Van Dam breaks it up with a spinwheel kick, drawing some of the only booing you’ll ever hear for him in this town. Jack runs the ropes and superplexes Van Dam down to break up the Five Star to Cesaro, followed by a Patriot Lock on Rob. This time it’s Cesaro making the save and stopping Jack with a European uppercut. The superplex from the apron followed by a Five Star to Jack is enough for a pin. There was some confusion on the fall but Swagger was eliminated.

Cesaro rolls some gutwrench suplexes on Van Dam and counters the stepover kick with a great looking German suplex into a bridge for two. They head outside with Cesaro climbing the barricade, only to have his legs kicked out from under him. The spinning legdrop from the apron connects to Cesaro’s back before going back inside for Rolling Thunder and the split legged moonsault for two each. Rob tries to bring in a trashcan but gets it kicked back into his ribs very quickly. Back in and a quick Van Daminator with the trashcan looks to set up the Five Star but it only hits can. The Neutralizes onto the trashcan is good for the win at 12:35.

Rating: B-. I liked this more than I was expecting even though the ending was somewhat predictable. At the end of the day though, Cesaro beating two former World Champions in a single match is nothing but good for him. They’re clearly giving him a huge push and his showdown with Lesnar down the line is going to be awesome if they let him go into Beast Mode.

Daniel Bryan is having his shoulder looked at when Stephanie comes in. She’s worried about his well being and offers him the chance to forfeit the title right now. For his own safety of course. Bryan tells her to get out of his face because he’s walking in and out as champion. Stephanie thinks differently of course.

Bolieve!

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth/Xavier Woods

Lana dedicates the match to the most powerful man in the world and her idol: Vladimir Putin. Truth says there’s no time to rap and dedicates the match to the USA. Before the bell, Woods is kicked in the face and into Truth, knocking both of them to the floor. Rusev hits a release belly to belly on the floor to drop Woods and we get the bell as he hammers away on Truth. Fans: “WE WANT LANA!”

Truth gets crushed in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Bulgarian. The backflip into the side kick sets up a middle rope dropkick but Rusev is right back up. Lie Detector has almost no effect but an ax kick gets two. Rusev shrugs it off and slams Truth down before the Accolade gets the submission at 2:51. Woods was being checked by doctors for most of the match.

The New Jersey Special Olympians are here.

Evolution brags about how awesome they are as HHH lists off all of their accolades. They have egos but they’re well deserved.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Big E.

Big E. is defending and Barrett has the shot due to winning a tournament over the last few weeks. Barrett talks about how the MERS Virus and how it’s going to rip the United States apart very soon. A hard shoulder sends Barrett to the floor to start but the fans are already behind him. Big E. hits a hard running shoulder to drive Barrett into the post but Bad News slams him down on the floor. With a BANG BANG, Barrett drops a running elbow from the apron and gets two back inside.

Back in and Barrett stands on the middle rope before loading up a suplex (as in Big E. was standing on the mat and Barrett tried to suplex him while on the ropes), only to jump down and hit a snap suplex for two. Big E. hits a quick cross body for two but walks into a boot to the face. The champion gets caught in the ropes and nailed with a running boot to the face to knock him out to the floor again.

They head back inside where Big E. snaps off an overhead belly to belly followed by a regular version for no cover. This time it’s Barrett getting tied up in the ropes before Big E. spears him through the ropes to the floor. Bad News comes right back with Winds of Change followed by Wasteland for two. The Bullhammer is countered with a hard slam and there’s the Warrior Splash. The Big Ending doesn’t work though and a running Bullhammer gives Barrett the title at 7:50.

Rating: C+. This was basically a more intense Raw match but it worked very well for what it was. Barrett is definitely the right choice for the title as Big E. hasn’t done anything with it in months and Barrett is at least hot right now. It’s not a great match or anything and Barrett has been here before, but again it won’t matter if they don’t use him.

We recap Evolution vs. Shield. It’s basically the fallout of Bryan vs. the Authority as Shield saw HHH stealing the title as an injustice and stopped it before attacking HHH, Orton and Batista. HHH reformed Evolution as a result and wanted revenge on the Shield, setting up tonight’s six man tag.

Evolution vs. Shield

No special rules here. It’s a big brawl to start even though I didn’t hear a bell. Shield quickly clears the ring and now we get the bell. Rollins hammers away on HHH to start and a running dropkick drops the game. A clothesline sends him to the floor and Rollins hits a big dive to take him out. Back in and HHH hits the running knee to the face, allowing for the tag to Batista. The booing is immediate as he drives a bunch of shoulders into Seth’s ribs.

Orton comes in and stomps away in the corner. A pose is enough work for Orton though and it’s back to HHH for a facebuster and two. Batista takes him to the apron and drives an elbow into the chest followed by a hard kick to the side of the head. Back to Orton for a chinlock but Rollins drives him into the corner to escape. Batista and HHH break up a hot tag attempt but Rollins spins to his feet and kicks Orton in the head.

Now the hot tag brings in Ambrose to clean house by stomping on Orton in the corner. Batista gets knocked off the apron and Dean puts Orton in a Figure Four. HHH makes the save but draws in Roman Reigns to chase him off. The spear hits steps though and it’s Ambrose getting triple teamed in the corner. Ambrose is sent to the outside as the BOO TISTA chants start up. A powerslam from Orton gets two and we hit the chinlock. The dropkick gets another two count and it’s back to HHH for the spinebuster. Another tag starts up the BOOing and we hit a rear naked choke of all things.

Dean finally jawbreaks his way to freedom but turns around for a bit boot to the jaw. A DDT plants HHH and the hot tag brings in Reigns to destroy everything in sight. Clotheslines take out every member of Evolution but Rollins’ springboard knee has to break up a Batista Bomb attempt. The Superman Punch and Triple Bomb plant Batista but Orton and HHH make the save. Rollins misses a suicide dive and HHH hits the Pedigree on Reigns, but Batista can only get two.

There’s an RKO to Reigns but it’s Rollins with another save. Rollins and Orton fight on the floor with Seth getting the better of it. We lose a cameraman as HHH helps Orton. They double team him for a few seconds but Ambrose runs across both announce tables to take both of them out. Ambrose, Rollins, Orton and HHH brawl into the crowd as Batista and Reigns are still down.

We miss something loud but see Orton shove Ambrose down some steps. The camera stays on the outside as Rollins is nowhere in sight. Orton and HHH double team Dean but Rollins dives OUT OF THE BALCONY to take all three down. Back in the ring and Batista counters the spear with a spinebuster. The Bomb is countered and there’s another Superman Punch followed by the spear for the clean pin at 19:50.

Rating: A. It’s not quite Shield vs. Wyatts but man alive this was fun. I have absolutely zero problem with Evolution reforming to put people over and that’s what they did here. Shield looked like they were on totally equal footing with three former World Champions and one of the most successful units of all time. This was a great match and told multiple awesome stories. Great stuff.

The cage is lowered.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena. The idea is Bray is trying to prove that Cena has a monster inside of him. Bray lost at Wrestlemania but we weren’t done yet. He thought Cena survived because of all of the people he had around him, so Bray started to take away the fans. Wyatt started by taking the children away from Cena by having a choir of children in black robes and sheep masks singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands in a bizarre segment. Tonight Cena is trying to keep the monster inside the cage.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

The fans sing John Cena Sucks to the tune of his music. Bray gives Rowan and Harper some instructions before the match gets going. He shouts that this is what Cena wanted but gets caught in a headlock. Cena jumps over Bray coming off the ropes but Wyatt just blasts him in the back with a forearm. A release fisherman’s suplex puts Bray down but Harper stops Cena from climbing the cage, allowing Bray to take his head off with a right hand.

Cena goes face first into the cage and Bray demands that he spologize to all these people for making them watch this. Rowan rams into Cena against the cage and Bray runs him over for two. John comes back with a catapult into the cage but Bray pulls him back in over the top. They slug it out on the top with Cena winning but Bray crotches him down on the top rope to take over again. We get the old dancing with the limp body spot before a release Rock Bottom gets two for Bray.

Cena comes back with a slam and tries to climb out but Bray does the spider walk towards the door. The running body attack gets two for Wyatt and a few rams into the cage have Cena in more trouble. A reversal finally sends Bray into the steel, allowing Cena to initiate his finishing sequence. Bray escapes the AA and tries to climb but Cena pulls him off the ropes with a Batista Bomb for two.

John calls for the door to be opened but Rowan closes it right back. It turns into a test of strength with Cena winning until Harper comes over to help. Cena shoves BOTH of them away from the door but Bray is back up with a jawbreaker for the save. Another ram into the cage puts Bray down again but Rowan shoves Cena back over the top of the cage.

Wyatt is back up as well but gets bulldogged off the top for two. Now it’s Harper climbing the cage for a fight with Cena, so John pulls him down into the cage. Cena kicks the door onto Bray’s head but Rowan is waiting with a chair. John climbs back in and gets caught in the suplex slam followed by the senton backsplash for two. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but Bray crawls to the door.

Cena lets go because of the ropes being in his face which is better than a rope break at least. Harper is sent into the cage but Bray sends Cena in as well. He climbs up but gets pulled back down for an AA off the top, only to have Harper make a save. A clothesline puts Harper down but Cena is favoring his arm.

Rowan makes ANOTHER save so Cena grabs him by the beard and rams him into the cage. The top rope Fameasser puts Harper down but as Cena goes for the door we get the Wyatt satellite hijacking. The lights go out and come back to show a child singing in a demonic voice in Cena’s face. Sister Abigail puts Cena down and Bray walks out for the win at 21:12 in front of the terrifying child.

Rating: B+. This was too overbooked for my taste. The Wyatts interfering about 857 times was too much but the child coming in for the save was a nice touch and tied into the storyline well. That being said, Bray needs to get a win on his own over Cena soon. It’s not like it’s going to hurt Cena or anything.

Bray mocks You Can’t See Me as he leaves with the child.

The panel from the pre-show talks for a bit and introduce a package on WeeLC. Heaven forbid we go five minutes without seeing something silly.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Paige

Paige is defending after Tamina won a battle royal. Tamina goes after Paige to start but the champion gets behind her and rolls Snuka up for two. Paige heads up top but gets superkicked to the floor. Back in and a slam gets two for Tamina before they head outside for a hard whip into the barricade to the champion.

Snuka loads up a top rope Samoan drop but gets caught in a sunset bomb for three. Well the shoulder was up but the referee counted anyway. The match continues though with Tamina hitting a spinout Rock Bottom for a close two, only to get caught in the Paige Turner and the Scorpion Cross Lock for the submission at 6:15.

Rating: D+. If this is the worst match I have to watch all night, we’re in for a good show. Gritty come from behind wins like this are going to do nothing but help Paige as she continues to clean out the division. It wasn’t a good match but it was better than par for most Divas matches on Raw.

Post match we’ve got Wyatts again. Bray says Little Johnny (the kid) did well tonight and now the message will spread. He gives Little Johnny a sheep mask as the kid says follow the buzzards in the demon voice.

We recap Kane vs. Daniel Bryan. Aside from their long history which is ignored here, Stephanie is sending out the revamped monster Kane to take the title back from Bryan. Kane has put the mask back on and gone after Daniel with a series of tombstones to injure his neck as well as trying to kidnap his wife.

WWE World Title: Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending and this is extreme rules, meaning anything goes. Daniel, minus the neck brace, goes after him in the aisle and the fight is on fast. Kane drops him with an uppercut and hammers away at ringside. They get inside for the first time with Kane knocking Bryan down again. Back to the floor where Kane slams Bryan onto a chair on the barricade. Kane tries to throw a chair into the ring but hits the top rope by mistake. He winds up throwing two chairs into the ring and wedging one in the corner.

The delay allows Bryan to grab a kendo stick but he comes off the top into an uppercut to stop the comeback. A side slam through a chair gets two more but Bryan escapes the chokeslam and sends Kane face first into the wedged chair. There’s a missile dropkick to put Kane down and it’s a FLYING GOAT to follow up. Bryan blasts him with a monitor but takes too much time loading up the announce table, allowing Kane to deck him from behind.

Daniel fights out of a chokeslam through the table and hits a tornado DDT down to the floor. Kane shrugs off the kicks and tries a tombstone on the steps. Bryan uses the ancient martial arts practice of kicking his feet though and manages to post Kane. A long series of kendo stick shots knocks Kane up the aisle but he drops Bryan with a single right hand. Kane throws him into the set and knocks out some of the lights before they head backstage.

Kane throws a flatscreen TV into a bucket of water for some sparks and Bryan is crawling away. They head to the parking lot where Bryan finds a shovel to blast Kane in the arm. Daniel charges into a backdrop onto the hood of a rental car as you can see Damien Sandow in the background. Kane punches through a car window so Daniel finds a tire iron in the trunk to knock Kane silly.

Kane is of course crawling around a few seconds later but winds up on a forklift. Another shot puts him down and Daniel gets behind the wheel. Daniel somehow knows how to operate it and lifts Kane a few feet into the air before driving him back into the arena. He dumps Kane over the top and into the ring before climbing onto the forklift pallet for the Swan Dive and two. Kane sits up and counters the running knee with a chokeslam for two. A tombstone onto a chair is countered into a tornado DDT which missed the chair by about a foot and a half. Thankfully it’s only good for two.

Bryan blasts him about ten times with the chair before putting the YES Lock. Kane is able to crawl over and get the kendo stick but Bryan takes it away and pulls it against Kane’s face. Kane finally crawls under the ropes to get to the floor (thankfully no rope breaks) and is able to catch the FLYING GOAT in another chokeslam through the table. Now it’s table time but Kane wants to up the ante a bit by lighting it on fire. Bryan is able to shove Kane off the apron and into the flames though, followed by the running knee to retain the title at 22:34.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but at times it got a bit too over the top. That being said, having Bryan take a huge beating and then win in the end is nothing but good for him. This was very much in the vein of JBL vs. Cena in the I Quit match in 2005 or Shawn vs. Diesel in the No Holds Barred match in 1996: a big win over a monster to give the new champion more credibility. Not a classic but it did what it was supposed to do.

Kane sits up and stares Bryan down to end the show. I see absolutely no need for a rematch but that appears to be where we’re headed.

Overall Rating: A-. All of the big matches delivered and I was very pleased to see the title match main eventing the show. I would have been ok with either other match taking that spot but it’s good to see Bryan get that chance. The show was good from top to bottom with nothing bad and a great six man tag to go with a solid main event. This is the show where you don’t worry about stories and just have hard hitting matches which is exactly what we got. You can’t ask for much more than that from Extreme Rules and it’s what we got. Great show.

Results
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam and Jack Swagger – Neutralizes onto a trashcan to Van Dam
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth – Accolade to R-Truth
Bad News Barrett b. Big E – Bullhammer
Shield b. Evolution – Spear to Batista
Bray Wyatt b. John Cena – Wyatt escaped the cage
Paige b. Tamina Snuka – Scorpion Cross Lock
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Running knee

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Extreme Rules 2014 Preview

How could Wrestlemania have been a full month ago?  It’s time for Part 2 which is almost always entertaining.  Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the pre-show and go with Hornswoggle to win due to having a movie coming out soon.  Not that the movie is ever mentioned or anything like that, but it does exist.  If they play this for total over the top comedy, it could be very entertaining.  It helps that it’s on the free show too.

 

Barrett takes the IC Title. Big E. hasn’t been the worst champion, but again the booking just killed him. He was the hottest thing around for awhile and now he’s just there, which has been the case since before the Rumble. Barrett is hot right now and a good choice for the belt, but I have no reason to believe it’s going to lead anywhere long term.

Bray has to win. He just has to. I’ll go with him getting the win and then getting to find out where things go from there. There’s no logical reason in the world for Cena to win here but if he does, Bray is pretty much done for now as a big time threat.

Paige retains in what should be the obvious match of the night.

Evolution vs. Shield is going to be the main event and likely should be given the build. There’s no reason whatsoever for Shield to lose here either, but you never can tell when HHH is involved. I was hoping for this to be anything goes but as of now it’s just a regular match. Reigns getting the hot tag and cleaning house will be a sight to see.

Bryan retains of course in a match that will be better tahn people are thinking. Brie being out there will help a bit (if nothing else it gives us something to look at) and the match is going to be more about emotion than action, which is the right call this time.

I stand corrected. Rusev crushing Truth and Woods is the obvious win of the night. Extra points if he Accolades both of them at the same time.

Cesaro should win the elimination match in theory as there’s nothing for RVD to gain by winning it and Swagger is Swagger. Beating two former World Champions isn’t going to hurt Cesaro at all either.

With only seven matches on PPV, there’s a chance we’ll get Usos vs. Wyatts as well and I’ll actually go with new champions if it happens.

Overall the show has potential to be very entertaining without being too heavy on the emotion. Yeah a lot of the matches are predictable, but that was the case for Wrestlemania and it worked just fine. The interesting thing is seeing where we go from here, as Shield, Evolution and Wyatt have almost nowhere to go after this. I’d assume Bryan feuds with Batista or HHH but I’m not sure I can see that happening anytime soon. I can’t imagine he’s getting anyone but Lesnar at Summerslam but we’ll get to that later. Extreme Rules looks very good though with some well built stories.

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 28, 2014

Raw this week was again about pushing the major stories as we get closer to Extreme Rules. However there was another story aside from the two main events that blew the doors off this week. There wasn’t much wrestling but there was an old drunk guy that embarrassed himself yet again, meaning he’ll be invited back for years. Let’s get to it.

We kick things off with a bang as John Cena comes into the cage opening the ring. Cena isn’t sure what to think as the fans have seemingly turned their backs on him last week when they put him in a three on one handicap match against the Wyatt Family. It was a match he couldn’t win and the fans gave him no chance. Cena wanted to know why the fans supported someone who didn’t have his passion and warns them that if Bray wins on Sunday, his message will soon take over the world. Then the crazy started.

The lights went out and a group of children could be heard singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. The lights came back on and it was indeed a choir of children all in black. Bray came out with the lantern as the children surrounded the ring and kept singing. The lights came on again and they were all wearing the masks and saying Bray had the whole Cenation in his hands. One of the kids sat on Bray’s lap as he evily laughed and the camera zoomed in on the kid’s mask. Cena was completely distraught throughout the whole thing.

Where do I even begin with this? It was a genuinely disturbing sign and potentially opens the door for a lot of ideas. What does Cena do when Bray has power over the group of fans he loves the most turns on him? What does Cena do when everyone is booing him? What do you do with a man has the power to control children? I have no idea, but I’m really curious to see where this goes. One thing is clear though: under no circumstances can Cena win at Extreme Rules. I can defend a lot of Cena’s booking but there’s no real way to say that’s the right move.

The Usos defeated Ryback/Curtis Axel in a Tag Team Title match. The story here was that one of the Usos (by the way, no it doesn’t matter which it was. They’re the same guy for all intents and purposes) hurt his ankle and couldn’t move as well in the second half of the match. That’s fine for a story, but when you tag him in and he’s just fine and can do all the things he normally does, the story doesn’t mean anything. He was throwing superkicks and dives like his ankle was fine, so why even bother doing the angle at all? That’s the kind of stupid thinking that drives me insane.

Adam Rose debuts next week. That should be awesome even if it’s just a squash.

Heyman told Cesaro not to listen to people saying he’s a liar, because he’ll get Cesaro to the top. This is still in the seed planting stages but the harvest will be awesome.

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neal in a 35 second match. This is another good example of how awful Sheamus’ booking has been lately. Titus attacked him and had Sheamus in trouble, but Sheamus just popped up and won with a single move. Would it really kill them to have Sheamus lost a single match or to actually show some weakness? I honestly don’t get this booking at all and I haven’t for months.

The Hugh Jackman/Damien Sandow/Dolph Ziggler stuff just kind of happened. Jackman is cool when he’s out there and I like that they actually tied it into his previous appearance. Sandow as Magneto actually made me chuckle and that’s the idea of the segment. Someone in the WrestleZone live discussion pointed out that Sandow was destined for comedy and the more I think about it, the more I completely agree. Sandow explaining science and math to people has potential though.

Cesaro beat Swagger in a meaningless match. I did like him winning with a German suplex instead of the Neutralizer though. It’s always nice to see people mix stuff up. Heyman pulling Zeb’s mustache for a distraction was long overdue though.

Alberto Del Rio squashed Cody Rhodes to further the Rhodes Brothers split. Nothing to see here as usual but it was fine.

Rusev and Woods had an angle disguised as a match. The squash should work fine at Extreme Rules, just like it did for Brock against the Hardy Boys at Judgment Day back in 2002, and yes I know that was a handicap match but his partner was Heyman so we’ll call it a handicap match.

3MB actually won a match against Los Matadores. The main thing here was the announcement of the Wee-LC match on Sunday’s pre show. I still don’t like the Horny vs. Torito feud but them playing it so over the top actually makes it much easier to sit through rather than them just playing it as a boring match that no one cares about.

Stephanie’s apology to Bryan was about what you would expect it to be. I’m surprised at how natural Brie Bella being out there with Daniel feels. The fact that they’re married in real life helps a lot though as I’m not waiting on them to break up at the drop of a hat for a storyline. Stephanie playing it serious is interesting but I think we all know it’s another ruse.

This led directly into Brie facing Paige for the Divas Title in another angle disguised as a match. Kane interfered about two and a half minutes in and tried to kidnap Brie but Bryan made the save. I liked that he sent Brie to the back like someone logically would do, but she came back and almost got pulled under the ring anyway. Bryan getting laid out again works fine and the match on Sunday should be pretty solid. The post break stuff with Brie screaming at Stephanie actually worked. The Bellas are still annoying but Brie seems far more like a human than her sister.

Cena gave a serious promo (odd line about Bray riding a mule aside) about Bray that made it sound like he’s going to war. This is the Cena I can get behind, but again he has to lose on Sunday.

Barrett beat RVD in a very obvious ending to a better than expected match. The post match stuff sets up RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Swagger on Sunday, which almost has to go to Cesaro.

The big segment to almost end the show was Ric Flair returning to Raw to talk about how great Evolution was. The surprise was that he wound up endorsing Shield before walking out. However, the interesting part here was that Flair was clearly drunk, as is almost always the case. How in the world this is considered ok in WWE’s eyes is beyond me, as anyone else that showed up like this would be fired almost immediately.

The main event was Orton vs. Reigns which didn’t last long and ended with everyone running in for a DQ. Evolution looked do destroy Shield to end the show but Shield fought back and stood tall to end things in a nice surprise.

This was another Raw that would have been a classic if it was only two hours long. The middle hour just crippled it though and even a good third hour wasn’t enough to make the save. It also didn’t help that nothing was going to top that Wyatt segment, which is often the case around WWE anymore. I’m ready for Extreme Rules though and that’s the most important thing a go home show can do.
 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 28, 2014: Someone Turn On My John Cena Night Light

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and we’ve got most of the card set. The main stories are of course Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Evolution vs. Shield with the latter being the bigger match of the two. Things are still solid after Wrestlemania but it feels like something is missing as we head into the follow up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Wyatts vs. Cena last week and Bray cradling Cena’s head to end the show in a disturbing scene.

There’s a cage around the ring in the arena and here’s John Cena to a good reaction. Cena had a disturbed look on his face and wants to know why the fans put him in a 3-1 handicap match last week. He seems hurt by the idea because the fans gave him no chance last week. John believes the statement that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ten years ago in this building, John Cena was drafted to Raw (it was nine years ago) and the fans cheered for him.

Now it’s ten years later and the fans aren’t cheering him as much because they’ve moved on to Bray Wyatt. Cena knows that he can’t do this forever and he has to step aside at one point. He loves that idea though because he sees a bunch of people in the locker room ready to take his spot like Reigns, Rollins, Cesaro and Bryan. Cena even knows names like Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn from NXT because they have the same passion that he has to entertain the people.

Bray Wyatt doesn’t have that passion because Wyatt’s passion is Bray Wyatt. On Sunday, the Wyatt Family will be kept out and Bray’s message will be kept in. If Wyatt escapes, his message and corruption will continue to manipulate and the world won’t have a chance. The Wyatts hack the feed but we only hear what sounds like a group of children singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The lights come back up and there’s a whole choir of children on the stage in black robes singing the song. Bray and the Family come out with the lantern to sing as well and the children follow him to the ring. Bray gets them to sing about having the whole Cenation and the Big Bad Monster in his hands as well.

The lights go out save for the lantern and when they come back on, all of the kids are wearing the sheep masks. Cena has no idea what to do. One of the kids is sitting on Bray’s lap as he laughs like a demonic villain. A closeup of the kid’s mask takes us to a break. This was one of the most bizarre and disturbing things I can ever remember watching.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

Adam Rose debuts next week.

Heyman tells Cesaro to not listen to RVD about Heyman’s morals or business practices. This of course turns into a discussion about Undertaker’s Streak being broken when he messed with Heyman. Paul admits that he’s a ruthless liar and completely unethical but he takes his clients to the top. That’s all Cesaro needs to hear.

We recap Kane attacking Bryan last week. Stephanie will apologize later tonight.

Kane’s mask is in its case.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus jumps Sheamus during his entrance and sends him into the barricade a few times. Sheamus tastes the post as well before being sent into the ring for some right hands to the face. He says he’s ready to go though and we have a bell. Titus is on him again and hammers in the corner as Sheamus still has his shirt on….but he hits the Brogue Kick anyway for the pin at 35 seconds. And the annoying booking of Sheamus continues.

You should Bolieve.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring in street clothes to talk about how this is his favorite time of the year. The weather is nicer, the girls look a little bit better, and the superheroes return to the ring. He’s talking about explosions, things being thrown all over the place and total chaos. But enough about his place on a Saturday night. Here’s a clip from the new X-Men movie. Ziggler brings out X-Men star Hugh Jackman who plays to the crowd quite well.

Jackman talks about how much he loves Raw because anything can happen. Ziggler says that’s true and shows us a clip of Hugh knocking Ziggler out so Zack Ryder could get a pin. Dolph says Jack Swagger has hit him harder than that and they bury the hatchet. This brings out Damien Sandow in a Magneto costume to brag about how a supervillain is now played by someone with intelligence.

They trade some insults and Sandow says tonight the two of them will meet their fate. Jackman touches the cape as Ziggler looks like he’s about to lose it. Sandow displays his “power” by trying to pull the microphone out of Jackman’s hands but gets hiptossed and Zig Zagged instead. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

We look at Evolution reforming and Shield destroying a bunch of people on Smackdown.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Heyman has a joke for us. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mike. Mike who? Mike lient Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman promises to never mention the Streak again before bragging about Cesaro winning the battle royal.

Swagger tries an early suplex but gets countered into rolling gutwrench suplexes. They head outside with Cesaro being sent into the barricade for two before Swagger cranks on a double chicken wing. Swagger loads up the Vader Bomb but Heyman goes after Zeb’s mustache for a distraction, allowing Cesaro to hook a German suplex for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This feud isn’t doing much for me but it’s cool to see Cesaro throw people around like they’re children. Heyman going after the mustache was a great touch and the match was more entertaining than it should have been. I don’t care much for Swagger though and he drags things down when he’s on screen.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena has nothing to say about what happened earlier.

The mask is still in the case.

Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio quickly takes him down for two but Cody comes back with a clothesline and slam for two of his own. Not that it matters as Alberto hits him in the head again and gets another near fall off a belly to back suplex. Cody hits a dropkick but walks into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a chinlock. Back up and the springboard dropkick is countered with a punch to the ribs, setting up the armbreaker from Del Rio for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I’m guessing this is for angle advancement as it was basically a Del Rio squash. My goodness I can’t remember the last time I actually got to type that. The match was nothing special and I wish it had been Goldust doing the job instead of someone like Cody who might have a lengthy future.

Cody walks away from Goldust again post match.

Heyman and Cesaro have a meeting in the back.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Squash for about 40 seconds until R-Truth runs in for the DQ. The team knocks Rusev to the floor and stands tall before their handicap match on Sunday.

We see John Cena granting three Make-A-Wishes this morning.

RVD is ready to beat Bad News Barrett tonight. Zeb Colter comes in and suggests an alliance against their common enemy in Paul Heyman but RVD declines.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

McIntyre and Slater here. The pre show match on Sunday is a, I kid you not, Wee L C match involving all of these guys plus the small ones. McIntyre sends Diego into the corner to start before it’s off to Slater. Heath doesn’t do all that well and it’s quickly off to Fernando who cleans house. The announcers of course spend the match making short jokes as Torito Gores Mahal’s groin into Hornswoggle’s head. Back in the ring and Slater hits an elevated DDT on Fernando for the pin at 2:19. JBL: “OH MY GOD 3MB WON! BARRY HOROWITZ IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!”

Post match Hornswoggle misses a dive and crashes on the floor. Torito dives on 3MB.

Here’s Stephanie for the apology to Bryan. She calls out the champ and gets both him in a neck brace (minus belts) and Brie Bella who leads the YES chants. Daniel says he almost believed Stephanie when she was telling Kane to stop last week but she’s full of lies. Stephanie says she deserves that and the truth is she and HHH never wanted Bryan to be WWE Champion. Emotions ran high and got out of control.

Bryan says Stephanie’s emotions ran high, so how do you think his wife felt when the Authority was trying to take him out and had to let him do it on his own. Stephanie apologizes again and says she knows what it’s like for your husband to be in an ambulance. She’s sorry on behalf of the entire family for unleashing the demon and for everything else she’s done. Daniel still doesn’t buy it so she asks him to come down to the ring to convince him face to face.

Bryan says he’s going to see a liar if he gets in the ring and that Kane will be here at the snap of a finger. His head hurts and he can’t move his neck, but he’s never given up in his life. He’s been cleared for Sunday and if Kane takes him down, Bryan is taking Kane with him. Stephanie says she can give them something to make up for what happened last week. She offers Brie a Divas Title match tonight but Bryan says he’ll be there with her. The match is right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Brie Bella

Paige is defending. Before the match we cut to the back and see that the mask is gone. They trade some holds to start with Brie taking over with a flying mare and dropkick for two. Paige screams a lot and slams Brie into the mat before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Brie comes back with a kick to the face and a hard running knee. She goes up top but gets punched in the gut, setting up a nice superplex to put both girls down. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kane.

Daniel is waiting for him in the aisle but Kane comes up through the ring and tries to pull Brie down. Bryan tries to make a save but the neck injury slows him down. Kane stalks Brie as Bryan is down on the floor. He drags her to the hole but Bryan comes in with I think a wrench to knock Kane silly. Of course he sits up as Bryan tells Brie to get out. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying. She gets back in like an imbecile and has to scramble away from Kane as he tries to drag her into the hole. Bryan is helped to the back by medics. The match went to a no contest at about 2:20.

Back from a break and a doctor is checking on Bryan when Stephanie comes in again to apologize. Bryan says he’ll be at Extreme Rules and will make her regret dragging Brie into this. Brie yells at Stephanie and calls her something you don’t say to your boss.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena says the choir freaked him out but he knows the crowd hasn’t turned their backs on him. The crowd was still reacting to him and that gives him hope. Cena is ready for Sunday and will buy Bray a singing mule. The singing ends on Sunday.

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has some BAD NEWS for RVD. The slogan for the company is Then, Now and Forever. RVD should only be Then, because he’s only living on the past.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett

Winner gets Big E. for the title on Sunday. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Barrett misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up a moonsault from the apron to take down Bad News. Back in and Barrett sends Rob out to the floor almost immediately before doing the thumb pointing. They head inside again with Rob getting two off a rollup but getting thrown into a kick to the ribs in the corner.

Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock. Winds of Change get two and a neckbreaker gets the same for Barrett. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rob fights up and nails a superkick. Some clotheslines and the step over kick look to set up Rolling Thunder but here’s Cesaro for a distraction. Swagger intercepts Cesaro but Rob has to duck the Bull Hammer. Rolling Thunder connects but Cesaro distracts him from the Five Star, allowing Barrett to get his knees up. Bull Hammer sends Barrett to Extreme Rules at 11:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull at times but this should set up Cesaro vs. Van Dam to flesh out Sunday’s card a little bit. Barrett is much more interesting in this character and has looked great since Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine Big E. holds the title and that’s the right idea at this point.

Post match Cesaro goes after Van Dam but Swagger lays him out with a gutwrench powerbomb. Van Dam beats up Swagger though and hits the Five Star on Swagger.

We look at Shield destroying people on Smackdown again.

Shield says they’ve passed Evolution by. Rollins holds up his fist and says it’s the new symbol of excellence (the name given to the four fingers of the Horsemen). Reigns says Evolution looks more like the past.

Ambrose has to defend the US Title against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback and Curtis Axel in a handicap match on Smackdown.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton has Batista and HHH with him and comes out to the Evolution theme. Before the match, HHH says Shield is starting to remind him of Evolution. There’s a problem with that though: Evolution is still here and they’ll never be that good. Shield hits the ring….and here’s Ric Flair.

Ric looks bombed and asks if this is St. Louis, Missouri. He’s had a lot of fun in this town but says it’s great to be back in a ring with people who know what this business is all about: dominance. Flair talks about everything coming full circle, including greatness. Tonight he’s surrounded by superstars who exemplify power, style and greatness. By that he means the Shield and shakes all three of their hands. With that he leaves and Evolution is shocked.

We actually get a bell at 11:05 and Reigns hammers away but gets caught by a headbutt and right hands. They head outside and fight over a suplex with Reigns getting the better of it. Orton reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps before taking it back inside for a chinlock. A hard clothesline puts Reigns on the floor but he fights out of the Elevated DDT.

The running clothesline and a right hand have Orton reeling and Reigns heads to the floor for the apron dropkick. Back in and HHH breaks up the Superman Punch as the brawl is on. The fans are WAY into this as Ambrose is thrown across the anounce table. Back inside and the Superman Punch connects but Reigns goes to the floor to get in on the fight for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was a good moment for Reigns as he looked like he was capable of hanging with the guy that was World Champion coming into the main event of Wrestlemania less than a month ago. The match on Sunday is going to be NUTS and it should main event the PPV. I’d love to see a full match between these guys and it’s good to see Reigns getting some solo time.

Post match Evolution destroys Shield with spinebusters and slams. HHH loads up a Pedigree on Ambrose but Rollins makes the save with a springboard knee to the face. HHH is left alone and Reigns lays him out with the spear. Orton and Batista try to break up the Triple Bomb with chairs but get kicked in the face, allowing Shield to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a rollercoaster of a show but the problem was it all had to follow that opening segment. There was just no way they could trump that all night long and it never did. I’m fired up for Sunday and the top three matches all look great on paper. The builds have worked perfectly and I’m looking forward to Sunday. More importantly, things seemed a lot more organic instead of scripted this week and that’s a VERY positive sign for the future.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neal – Brogue Kick
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – German suplex
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross armbreaker
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods via DQ when R-Truth interfered
3MB b. Los Matadores – Elevated DDT to Fernando
Paige vs. Brie Bella went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when Evolution interfered

 

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