Wrestlemania XXX Preview: John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
This is the match I’m looking forward to more than anything else.This is the match that they’ve put some thought into as you have Bray ripping away at Cena’s legacy by saying Cena is lying to himself when he puts all of this out there. THis goes right in the face of everything Cena believes and plays up an interesting idea for Cena: what is Cena going to be remembered as? It’s clear that he’s nearing the end of his career with all of the injuries, but how does he let go of something that he’s built his entire life around. That’s some very interesting psychological stuff to get into and could be awesome stuff down the line.
As for tomorrow though, Bray Wyatt gets a chance to get the biggest win of his career on the biggest stage he’ll get for a long time. He has the potential to be a huge star and a win over John Cena on the biggest stage of them all is a great way to do that. Cena isn’t in the main event here and it’s kind of interesting to see him going there. That being said, I’m not sure who I see winning here. Cena doesn’t need the win, but at the end of the day I’m not sure I can see Bray getting the pin. However, I think that’s where they’re going, leading to an incredibly violent rematch at Extreme Rules.
The good thing is both guys are capable of having some excellent matches against anyone as Bray is the evil calculating one who lets his talented minions do his work for him and only gets his hands dirty for the big matches (or the occasional squash). This should be outstanding all around and the potential for psychological stuff as a result are absolutely incredible. Does Cena start to doubt himself as we head into his final years? I can’t imagine they end Bray this early, as once he loses a lot of the mystique goes with it. I’m looking forward to the war though.
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: March 31, 2014
Last night’s show was something very special and a great example of how to do a go home show. It wasn’t supposed to be about the wrestling and that was to be expected. Let’s get to it.
First up was Undertaker showing down with Brock Lesnar and Brock finally getting in some offense on Undertaker. The main complaint that I saw people making was that it took too long to get to the brawling last night, to which all I can say is wrestling fans are impatient nowadays. Heaven forbid you have to wait maybe ninety seconds to see the guys fight. This is one of those moments that was built up for a few weeks and did what it was supposed to do. Every single time Brock has been leading up to a match he’s looked weak in advance, then he goes into Beast Mode in the actual match. Why does this continue to fool people?
Del Rio vs. Big E. was actually a solid match but I’m getting annoyed at the booking. Alberto has now beaten Big E. twice this month but there has been no significant mention of a title match coming up. Big E. never defends the thing anyway and while he beats up everyone except for Del Rio (nothing wrong with having a guy you can’t beat), Alberto seems to have no interest in the title. You don’t have to have him win it (though that would be fine), but at least have him look like he wants it. In other words, make a title look valuable and it will become valuable.
The Wyatts had another awesome promo. The thing that makes them work is how different they look when they’re talking. Notice that Bray is constantly moving around, changing the pitch of his voice, moving closer to the camera, and switching from serious to comedic. It’s unique and that makes people pay attention to him. The fact that he’s totally into his character and is so out there that it makes people want to see more makes it even better.
The Total Divas had a recap and a Summer vs. Natalya match. The match was bad but Summer looks great in her outfits so I can’t complain at all.
This brought us to the highlight of the night as the Authority came out to announce the end of the YES Movement. While the HHH and Stephanie bits mocking the pose were a bit annoying, the rest was perfect. HHH basically brought up every common insult against him and laughed them off, because showing an AWESOME video, narrated by Stephanie in a brilliant touch, listing off all of the flavors of the month that he’s destroyed over the years.
This is what HHH has been needing to do for a long time now. Don’t talk about his power or his authority, but talk about how he’s one of the best in ring performer of all time (which he is). People often forget how good he is and that’s a shame coming into what’s going to be an awesome match. Yeah HHH can get annoying on camera, but the guy can flat out go in the ring and will do exactly that on Sunday. The video was exactly what he needed to do and it worked like a charm. The fact that Stephanie looked great last night helped too.
Orton and Batista came out as well but they didn’t add too much. Batista pointing out that HHH has never beaten him continues to be all he needs to say, but HHH wanting Orton to be the Viper again is a very questionable move. It doesn’t make sense as he’s basically given up on Randy being the face of the company (thank goodness), but he still wants Orton at his peak? That’s not very logical for a heel.
The two tag matches didn’t do anything for me. The eight man tag was fine but it just didn’t interest me at all. Los Matadores are nothing interesting and the lack of El Torito made it even worse.
Bray Wyatt had a long squash over R-Truth, but the important part was after the match. John Cena wore Wyatt gear and snuck up on them in his first mind game of the feud. The interesting thing here was the pop from the crowd. They went NUTS for Cena in one of the loudest pops I can remember him getting in months. This brings us back to Wrestling 101.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt boils down to a very simple concept: good vs. evil. John Cena is the bright and colorful hero and Bray Wyatt is the dark and sinister monster. At the end of the day, people want to see John Cena, their hero even though they get tired of him once in awhile, rise up and kill the monster hiding in the fans’ closet. Cena has been afraid but is standing up to face his fears and using his mind and strength to fight for what he believes in.
That’s wrestling at its core: seeing larger than life characters doing things that fans wish they could do. It worked for Hogan standing up for America and it worked for Austin beating up his boss. Cena showing weakness and then rising above it (not necessarily winning mind you) is something interesting and the reaction from the crowd the last few weeks proves it.
The lumberjill match was nothing special. At the end of the day I wish they went with just a one on one match at Wrestlemania instead of some 14 Diva mess. There are girls out there capable of putting on an entertaining match, but for some reason they’re throwing Vickie, who apparently we’re now supposed to sympathize with, into the mix. I have a bad feeling AJ either wins on Sunday, or somehow Vickie walks out as champion. Neither interests me at all unless Paige debuts the next night on Raw.
Then we got one heck of a Cena promo. The guy can just turn on the goods whenever he needs to and that’s what we got last night. Telling people to run down to Wrestlemania or watch on the WWE Network was both a nice plug for the show (I miss those things) as well as a great way to make the event feel like it needed to be seen. You don’t get those anymore and Cena is the kind of guy who demands attention when he’s in serious mode. It just works and it did last night.
Kane vs. Reigns wasn’t the point of the Shield segment. The important part was Roman winning 80% of the fans’ votes. If those numbers are legit, the fans are buying into him as the star of the team and that’s exactly what WWE wants. The down side of it though was the Outlaws appearing. Just look at them walking down the ramp and then look at Shield. It just doesn’t work for me and I’m afraid Shield is going to have to tone things way down so the Outlaws can keep up with them. I still don’t get how anyone but the Outlaws benefit from this.
Piper’s Pit and the big brawl existed and that’s about all there is to say about it. Big Show is being pushed really hard as the winner of the battle royal, which gives me hope for a swerve. Him winning just isn’t interesting and he doesn’t need it. Sheamus is needing a big win and this would be perfect for him. Oh and Piper losing his mind over the people interrupting him was hilarious.
The main event was exactly what it should have been. I think WWE knew the fans would get restless if they had a regular match so they went with the wild brawl instead. Again this was about the moment rather than the match and that’s fine. You couldn’t have the go home show without Bryan making one last run in and that’s exactly what we got. It was a white hot way to end the show and take us into Wrestlemania on Sunday.
Overall last night was the exactly right formula for a go home show. The wrestling wasn’t great but it was just good enough to get us through to the important stuff. Every match got time and I’m more fired up to see the show than I was before. Excellent stuff last night with HHH and Cena stealing yet another show.
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Monday Night Raw – March 31, 2014: I’m Ready For Wrestlemania
Monday Night Raw Date: March 31, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the final Raw before Wrestlemania so I wouldn’t expect the most exciting shot tonight. Everything is set up for Sunday and all there is left to do is give us the hard sell. There’s a chance to have something else change before we get there but I can’t imagine it would be anything big. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Undertaker to open the show. As he makes his entrance to the ring, we see a clip from the end of last week’s show. He looks at the sign and says twenty one men have stood up and twenty one men have been sat down. At the showcase of the immortals, he will go further than anyone else and that is why the Streak stays alive. Brock is probably thinking how he’s going to break the Streak, but what he should be thinking is what happens when Undertaker takes him out into the deep water.
What is Brock going to do when his feet can’t hit the bottom? Will he try and take Undertaker down with him, or will he try to swim back to shore? Of course there are some people that think the Streak will end one day. However, there are three things that can’t be beaten: Death, taxes, and the Streak. He goes to say the catchphrase but here are Lesnar and Heyman to interrupt.
Paul says this isn’t a match Brock has to win, but rather a match Undertaker can’t lose. All it takes is one F5 and then three seconds later it’s all over. This Sunday is the biggest Wrestlemania moment since Hulk Hogan defeated Andre the Giant, and that’s a spoiler. Lesnar turns to leave but looks back and walks down to the ring. Undertaker gets ready to go so Brock stops to point at the sign. He circles the ring and gets in after a Heyman distraction. Undertaker gets in some shots but gets caught in the F5, laying Undertaker out for the first time in the feud.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E.
Battle royal hype time. Del Rio gets run over for an early two and a fall away slam gets the same. Big E. avoids a charge into the post and hurts his shoulder, allowing Del Rio to crush Big E.’s hand into the steps. Back from a break with Big E. suplexing Del Rio down and trying to get some feeling back into his shoulder.
Alberto grabs the armbreaker over the ropes but Big E. catches him coming off the top to take over. A belly to belly looks to set up the Big Ending but Del Rio escapes into the Backstabber for two. The armbreaker is countered into a powerslam for two but now the armbreaker goes on. Big E. tries to power out but gets put in the full hold.
He rolls up again and powers Del Rio up into a modified powerbomb for two as Del Rio grabs the rope. Big E. misses another charge and gets hung up in the ropes, allowing Alberto to go up for a HUGE double stomp to the chest, drawing a big gasp from the crowd. The superkick is good for the pin at 10:29 as Del Rio continues to be Big E.’s Kryptonite.
Rating: C+. This was by far the best match these two have ever had and a lot of it is because they had the time to work on things. That being said, can we please have them fight for the title now? Del Rio has pinned Big E. clean at least twice in a row now, but there’s never any mention of him wanting the title. Either hav ehim go after the belt or stop having them fight.
We look back at the Wyatts knocking out Cena and putting him in the mask last week.
Bray says the world craves change. However they turn a blind eye to the landfills because you can’t just whisper in people’s ears anymore and expect them to listen. He gets right up in the camera and asks if he has their attention now. She told him that he would be the one to change diamonds into dust and change the world. They’re going to cry for Cena but in time they’ll forget him when Cena is left with nothing. Bray says he’s the monster and sings about having the whole world in his hands.
We get a Total Divas recap, which I can’t believe has taken this long.
Natalya vs. Summer Rae
This is a result of a fight on Total Divas. Vickie is on commentary and tells us that the Divas match on Sunday is going to be one fall with all fourteen girls in there at the same time. They’re not even trying to keep things calm. Natalya takes Summer down and the dancing girl screams a lot. She comes back with a bad looking clothesline and puts on a chinlock for a few moments.
Nattie fights back with a low dropkick and snap suplex. Summer slaps her in the face so Natalya returns the favor. Rae charges at her but gets taken down, only to kick out of the Sharpshooter. She comes back with a quick kick to the head and gets the pin on Natalya out of nowhere at 2:23.
Here’s the Authority for the end of the YES Movement. Stephanie says tonight is the chance for everyone to say goodbye before HHH destroys Daniel Bryan on Sunday. HHH talks about how people are looking at Bryan as the flavor of the month. He and Stephanie demonstrate Fandangoing before saying the fans are the reason nothing came from that. Stephanie starts a YES chant and says anyone can get that going.
Daniel Bryan won’t be here tonight because it’s best for business. HHH says people don’t understand business, such as when they say he has power because he married well. While it’s true he married spectacularly, the reason he has what he has is because of his dominance in the ring. It didn’t matter what guy you jumped on as the savior, because HHH was going to take them down.
This takes us to a video, narrated by Stephanie, of various people he’s taken down over the years, such as Booker T, Scott Steiner, RVD, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and Kurt Angle. All of them rose up for a bit but now all that’s left is the Game. At Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan will be another sacrificial lamb and the fans will lose another chosen one, because there is only one HHH. This was AMAZING and sold the idea perfectly.
Back live and HHH says they were all just players, but he’s the Game now more than ever. On Sunday, he’ll destroy Daniel Bryan and then walk out as the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. They go to leave but here’s Batista to interrupt. Batista digs the video, but noticed he wasn’t in it because HHH has never beaten him. HHH makes fun of Batista’s Georgetown (local college basketball team) jersey but Batista says HHH shouldn’t be worried about a title match he’s not even in yet. HHH says go get ready for your match and Batista says that’s a good idea, which makes sense because Stephanie is the brawn of this family.
Orton comes out and says he wants a front row seat if Stephanie is about to slap him again. Orton says he respects the Authority and loves the idea of a triple threat, but asks HHH to think again about being in the title match. HHH tells Orton that no amount of sucking up is going to get him out of this because his title reign is coming to an end very soon. That is, unless Orton can become the Viper again. HHH makes the main event No DQ to try and make Orton all the more evil.
Usos/Los Matadores vs. Real Americans/Ryback/Curtis Axel
Ryback shoves Jimmy into the corner to start but Jimmy comes back with kicks in the chest. The Usos hit a double kick to the ribs, only to have Ryback run Jey over and make the tag off to Axel. Jey catapults Curtis into a forearm from Fernando and Diego follows in with a slingshot splash. Axel gets double teamed by both teams until it’s back to Jey for a wristlock.
Off to Cesaro for some hard forearms before Swagger comes in to stomp away. Jey fights back with right hands and clotheslines before sending Ryback out to the floor. Fernando comes in and tags out to Jimmy before anything happens. Jimmy and Fernando dive over the top to take out the Real Americans, setting up Jey with a top rope cross body for two on Swagger.
Jack sends him to the floor and knocks him off the apron for a crash. Back from a break with Cesaro dropkicking Jey down for two and getting the same off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Swagger comes in and literally throws Cesaro into the corner onto Jey. Ryback comes in and puts on a chinlock until Jey fights up and hits a bulldog. The hot tag brings in Jimmy to clean house and speed things way up.
A release Samoan drop puts Axel down and the running Umaga attack in the corner gets two. Ryback gets superkicked to the floor and Axel gets two off a rollup. Jack makes a blind tag and kicks Jimmy in the face for two with Diego making the save. Cesaro loads up the Swing but Fernando breaks it up to a lot of booing. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered but Jimmy avoids the Patriot Lock and kicks Swagger in the face. Diego dives off the top but lands in the Patriot Lock but doesn’t tap. Swagger goes after Jey but the Matadores switch, allowing Fernando to roll Jack up for the pin at 13:55.
Rating: C. It’s not a bad match but the division just isn’t all that interesting. Los Matadores being employed still makes my head shake, especially when El Torito isn’t involved. The ending with the Twin Magic wasn’t a terrible idea and it’s nice to see them add another team that could win the titles on Sunday.
Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow
Fandango takes Cody into the corner before it’s off to Sandow to stomp away, knocking Rhodes out to the floor. We hit a chinlock on Cody before a drop toehold breaks up a hot tag attempt. Cody kicks Damien away and tags Goldust anyway to clean house. Goldust takes both heels down with the top rope cross body before getting two on Sandow. Cody dives off the top to take down Fandango, allowing Goldust to hit the Final Cut for the pin on Damien at 4:08.
Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here as it was nothing more than a way to get people on the show before the Wrestlemania match on Sunday. That’s something you often get on the go home shows, which doesn’t exactly make for good TV but it’s something you have to do to avoid injuries.
We recap Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws.
Shield says they almost feel bad for Kane. One of them will be facing Kane tonight, decided by a WWE App vote. Rollins says the geriatric Outlaws will be joining Kane on Sunday and be shown why the fist is the new symbol of excellence. Ambrose promises to show the old guys a new things about attitude. Reigns says Believe in the Shield.
R-Truth vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray runs him over to start and laughs a lot, only to run into a leg lariat. Wyatt comes right back with the hard running cross body before hammering away with right hands and headbutts. We hit a quick camel clutch for a bit before a belly to back suplex into a facebuster puts Truth down again. Sister Abigail is enough for the pin at 4:35.
Rating: D. It’s just a long squash. There really isn’t much else to say about this match. However, Bray continues to be totally dominant and that’s what you need coming into the biggest match of his career. Sunday could be a huge moment for Bray if it’s done right, which doesn’t mean he needs to win.
Xavier Woods gets beaten down post match. The Wyatts pose but there’s another guy in coveralls and a sheep mask. Bray looks up at him and it’s John Cena to an ERUPTION. Rowan takes an AA but Bray escapes to fight on Sunday. That’s one of the loudest pops for Cena that I’ve heard in months. Bray gives Cena a bizarre look from the ramp.
We look back at Vickie making the Divas Title match.
AJ Lee vs. Naomi
Lumberjill match with the other challengers on the floor and Vickie on the stage. AJ is immediately sent to the floor and thrown back in but Naomi doesn’t get the same treatment. Now the champion is sent outside again and the other girls throw her right back in. Back in and AJ fires off kicks to the ribs before it’s off to a guillotine check.
A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Naomi but she comes back with a kick to the head. AJ is sent to the floor again but Tamina tries to protect her. That’s fine with them though as Tamina gets beaten down as well. The Divas throw AJ back inside after one heck of a beating, allowing Naomi to hit the Rear View for the easy pin at 4:04.
Rating: D. Build for the PPV, I don’t know why we’ve got the AJ vs. Vickie feud after months of AJ getting pinned but that’s the WWE for you. I have a bad feeling AJ leaves with the title, but I’m hoping Paige shows up the next night on Raw to take the title. It wasn’t really much of a match anyway but the girls looked good on the floor.
A nervous John Cena talks about Bray Wyatt spreading his propaganda. Cena has just shown Bray what happens when he gets backed into a corner. On Sunday John Cena will be a monster because being a monster for a day secures a legacy for a lifetime. Yes he’s afraid but the moment you realize he has the ability to face it, everything is worth it. Cena is bringing the change to the eater of worlds on Sunday and tells us all to be watching on Sunday.
The expert panel talks about Bray vs. Cena.
We look back at the opening segment.
Roman Reigns wins the poll with 80% of the vote.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Kane gets pounded down in the corner but raises a boot to stop a charging Reigns. A hard clothesline sets up the chokeslam but Reigns powers out of it. Some right hands stagger Kane and there’s a BIG running clothesline to drop Kane. Kane gets knocked into the ropes and the running boot to the side of the heads knocks him back inside. He loads up the Superman Punch but here come the Outlaws. Ambrose and Rollins cut them off though, allowing Reigns to nail the Superman Punch. The other Shield members get inside to surround Kane and the beating is on for the DQ at 3:09.
Rating: D+. This was the buildup match for the six man which still isn’t all that interesting. I see the Outlaws coming to the ring and the idea of them facing Rollins and Ambrose at Wrestlemania just doesn’t work for me at all. They look like a team you bring in on Raw for a special moment to set up a PPV match against a big team. But hey, the Outlaws want to have the match and that’s what matters.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit with a surprise guest. Piper says it’s Wrestlemania season and is thrilled that Wrestlemania I was 29 years ago today. He talks about how important Andre the Giant was to the first Wrestlemania and says the winner of the battle royal will get their Wrestlemania moment. Piper is about to talk about his favorite for the match but here’s Miz to interrupt.
Miz brags about actually winning in the main event of Wrestlemania, meaning the other 29 superstars don’t compare to him at all, just like the Pit doesn’t compare to MizTV. This brings out Sheamus to make Piper even angrier. Sheamus says Miz isn’t fit to hold Roddy’s kilt before talking about winning the battle royal. Cue Titus as Piper is getting hilarious with his ranting over the interruptions. He spells out his name and barks in Piper’s face.
Here’s Ziggler, drawing out a “REALLY??? REALLY??? I’M TALKING HERE!!!” from Piper. Roddy looks at all of them and has something to say to each ot them. Piper pokes Miz in the eye and throws him to Sheamus as a fight breaks out. A bunch of other guys in the battle royal hit the ring for a ten to twelve man fight.
Rey Mysterio comes out with music to kick Dolph in the head. Sin Cara takes a 619 and Brogue Kick until Big Show comes out to really clean the ring. Rey and Big Show are the only ones left standing and Rey begs off, only to hit a 619 to the ribs. A top rope seated senton is just dumb though and Rey is thrown to the floor in a big pile. Roddy raises Big Show’s hand to end the segment.
Batista vs. Randy Orton
No DQ and non-title. Batista is the hometown boy and gets a decent reaction from the crowd. Before the match here are HHH and Stephanie coming down to do commentary. Orton takes him down to the floor to start and hammers away but gets sent into the post. Back in and Randy stomps away before sending Batista out to the floor and into the barricade.
Batista’s arm is rammed into the announce table a lot and a belly to back suplex onto the barricade has him in even more trouble. Randy nails him in the back with a chair before they head back inside. Batista knocks Orton right back to the floor and slams him into the announce table a few times. HHH says show him the Animal so Batista rams Orton spine first into the apron. He gets a chair of his own but Randy pulls on a kendo stick to blast Batista.
Back in again and the spinebuster puts Orton down but the Batista Bomb is countered into the backbreaker. There’s the Elevated DDT but Daniel Bryan jumps over the announce table and jumps HHH. Orton goes outside to take out Bryan but gets taken down as well. Randy gets back up and sends Bryan into the steps as Stephanie checks on her “baby”. Batista nails Orton with the spear but Bryan kicks him in the head and hits the knee. FLYING GOAT takes HHH down as everything is going nuts. A bunch of kendo stick shots knock HHH into the ring before Bryan dropkicks Orton off the apron. The match is thrown out at about 8:00.
Rating: C+. This was a nice brawl but it was all about the moment of course. Bryan had to show up here and tonight was his night to end the show. Orton vs. Batista actually wasn’t bad but thank goodness they didn’t do it as the main event of Wrestlemania. It was good but it wasn’t THAT good.
A huge YES chant erupts as HHH shouts that Bryan is done to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This is a show where you have to take something big into account. This was all about getting ready for Sunday and the wrestling took a huge backseat to the building process. The matches were pretty lame, but the matches all got TV time and I’m more excited for Wrestlemania than I have been in years.
Results
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick
Summer Rae b. Natalya – Kick to the faceless
Los Matadores/Usos b. Real Americans/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Rollup to Swagger
Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Final Cut to Sandow
Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail
Naomi b. AJ Lee – Pin after the lumberjills beat up AJ on the floor
Kane b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins interfered
Randy Orton vs. Batista went to a no contest
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Smackdown – March 28, 2014: No Time For A Witty Title With All This Wrestling
Smackdown Date: March 28, 2014
Location: TD Bank North Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the last regular Smackdown before they head to the Crescent City. The main stories are all set at this point so this show is just going to be about firming up the plans for Wrestlemania. The only match announced for tonight is Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt which should be a good win for the monster. That would be the monster with hair in case that’s not clear. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Batista to get things going. Batista wants to know why the fans are booing a six time World Champion, the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble and the headliner of Wrestlemania XXX. They boo him, but they cheer for Daniel Bryan? This brings him to a clip from Raw with Batista implying Stephanie is shall we say, friendly, and getting slapped as a result. Batista thinks Stephanie hits harder than any of his opponents, which brings out HHH.
The boss suggests leaving Stephanie out of this but Batista asks why we should do that. She’s responsible for the suit and for HHH being COO. HHH wouldn’t have anything without marrying the boss’ daughter. Triple H says this is the Reality Era and it doesn’t matter why he has what he has and all that matters is what he has. He asks why Batista wants to make this personal. Batista says it’s because HHH has accused him of living off his past glories, which includes never losing to HHH. Now HHH is trying to take Batista’s title and that’s not cool with Big Dave.
HHH agrees that he’s never beaten Batista but that was a long time ago. Batista has gotten lazy after getting all that success and he’s been in Hollywood letting his stuntman doing all his work. Now he’s back in WWE and HHH has yet to see the Animal. HHH has shown what he can do a few weeks ago against Daniel Bryan. You know, the little guy that Batista couldn’t finish off. However, HHH is willing to help Batista again tonight. Maybe he can find that Animal in his match against Sheamus.
We look back at the fourway from last week, leading to Shield being beaten down by Kane and the Outlaws.
Shield vs. 3MB
Rollins/Ambrose vs. Mahal/McIntyre and Seth starts against Jinder. JBL brings up a good point: the Shield has dominated the last year but three guys from the Attitude Era took them down. Rollins hits Two Amigos before bringing in Ambrose for the third. Back to Rollins who gets taken into the corner and pounded by McIntyre. Drew thrusts his hips at Reigns for some reason but it allows Seth to roll over for the tag to Ambrose. The running dropkick against the ropes has Drew in trouble and Seth hits the big dive to take out Mahal. The bulldog driver, now named Dirty Deeds, is enough to pin McIntyre at 3:04.
Rating: D+. You can only be so entertaining in a three minute match. At least Shield didn’t sell too much for 3MB as they’re already going to have to sell for a team that couldn’t remember if they were good or bad a month ago. It’s nice to see Ambrose getting a clean pin as well.
Post match Kane and the Outlaws come out and say they’ll end Shield at Wrestlemania. That’s unlike what Shield is going to do to their next opponents.
Shield vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
This is joined in progress after a break with Ambrose taking Curtis down with a drop toehold. Ryback offers a quick distraction though and Axel knocks Dean to the floor. Dean gets caught in the corner as the announcers do their usual bickering. Ryback loads up a suplex but gets countered into a nice DDT. The hot tag brings in Rollins to clean house with a Blockbuster to Axel. A series of kicks takes Axel down and Ambrose jumps off the steps to pound on Ryback. Rollins unleashes the dive to Ryback before countering a PerfectPlex into the Peace of Mind for the pin on Axel at 4:14.
Rating: C-. More entertaining match here with Rollins stealing the show again. I’m still not sure why we need extra proof that the Shield can dominate when they’re coming into a match against the Outlaws. But hey, Gunn and Dogg were awesome in the Attitude Era and that means the match will rock now right?
Post match Shield points at the Authority members on stage and lays out Ryback with the Superman Punch and Triple Bomb.
Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow
The maskless one takes him into the corner to start and drives a knee into his ribs for two. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds into the match but Sin Cara rolls him up out of the corner for the pin at 1:04.
Big Show says what the Wyatts did to Cena on Raw was very disturbing. However, some of the stuff Bray has been saying makes sense. That’s how they suck you in, but tonight they have a giant problem on their hands.
Fandango vs. Goldust
No Cody for this one. Summer is looking great tonight in an outfit similar to Jasmine from Aladdin. Fandango takes him down to start and puts on a very early chinlock. Goldust fights up with a belly to back suplex followed by an atomic drops and right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two for Goldust and they head outside where Summer distracts Goldust long enough for Fandango to kick him in the head and grab a handful of tights for the pin at 3:16.
Rating: D. Summer was the only interesting thing to see in this match. She looked great and was so goofy when she was distracting Goldust that she was kind of adorable. The match was barely long enough to rate and the first minute or so was spent on a chinlock and laying around after the suplex.
Batista vs. Sheamus
HHH is watching from the back. Batista hides in the corner to start until Sheamus nails him with a shoulder block to send the Animal to the floor. A chase goes badly for the Irishman and Batista drives shoulders into the corner. Batista scores with a big clothesline before dropping Sheamus with a knee to the ribs.
There’s the spinebuster but Batista walks around instead of following up. The delay lets Sheamus nail Batista with a clothesline and come back with his usual high powered offense. Batista fights out of the ten forearms but Sheamus makes the second attempt work. A powerslam looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Batista bails tot he floor. Sheamus follows but walks into a chair to the right for the DQ at 5:33.
Rating: C. This was a nice power brawl and more importantly, Sheamus looked like an equal to Batista. Batista was in trouble at the end and that’s how you make Sheamus look awesome. This is the kind of stuff that Batista should be doing a lot of the time and it worked well here.
Batista sends Sheamus into the post and hits the Batista Bomb. He asks if HHH is happy now and promises to leave Wrestlemania as champion.
The Raw ReBound looks at the Wyatts attacking Cena on Monday.
Bray Wyatt is holding a mask and says if you give it to a man, he’ll reveal his true face. Every man wears a mask at some point John, whether it’s to to hide his intentions or not. Cena has hidden behind a mask for so long that it’s become him, but when he removes it he removes his own skin. Bray’s sword has left a scar on Cena’s soul that can never heal. Can’t Cena hear the song? Bray will never forget what the woman singing first told him. A man’s secret comes to life underneath the shade of the cypress tree. He sings part of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we’re done.
Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Tamina
Vickie Guerrero is on commentary to explain the 14 Divas match at Wrestlemania. Her explanation: it’s going to be awesome. Brie quickly takes AJ down to start but it’s quickly off to Nikki for a middle rope kick to the face. Tamina comes in and nails Nikki in the face before it’s back to the champion for a two count.
We hit the guillotine choke from AJ which transitions into a sleeper until AJ lets go and brings Tamina in again. Snuka misses a middle rope splash and it’s back to Brie for some dropkicks. A middle rope dropkick sends Tamina to the apron where she nails AJ in the face and tags her in, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:27.
Rating: D+. The Bellas looked good in their outfits, most of the focus was on Vickie, AJ loses again. Next.
Santino and Emma are on a sound stage that is supposed to look like a restaurant for a date. She calls him the ultimate friend with benefits but means benefits like going out together instead of the usual meaning. We get a staring contest for a bit before Emma says she feels the same way he does: they’ll always be best friends. Santino freaks out and says he can’t eat. He chokes on something and makes it worse by trying to drink wine. The wine is spat out on Emma and thankfully the segment ends.
Jack Swagger vs. Jimmy Uso
Jack takes him into the corner to start but Jimmy knocks him outside and hits the big dive over the top. Back in and a high cross body gets two followed by something resembling a Whisper in the Wind for the same. Not that it matters as Swagger takes out the knee and the Patriot Lock is good for the win at 1:58.
We look at Undertaker and Lesnar brawling on Raw.
Mark Henry vs. The Miz
Henry takes too long pointing at the sign and Miz nails some kicks to the ribs to start. A dropkick to the knee puts Henry down and Miz goes to work on the leg. He cranks on the ankle a bit but lets Henry up and charges into a boot to the face. Mark misses a Vader Bomb and bangs up his knee again. The Figure Four is easily broken up but Miz throws him over the top and out to the floor. Miz gets sent hard into the steps for his efforts and a whip into the barricade has him in trouble as well. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 3:30.
Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here, even though that doesn’t mean all that much. Miz working on the leg made sense and the throw over the top was a surprising visual. I can also forgive the leg work here as it only lasted a few moments and Henry’s legs are thick enough that some basic stuff from Miz wouldn’t have very long term effects.
Razor Ramon Hall of Fame video.
Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt
The giant shoves him into the corner to start but Bray smiles at him. Wyatt is sent out to the floor so he sits in front of the announce table and says that was nice. Back in and Bray tells Show to show him all his might. Big Show hammers away in the corner and knocks Bray around with a headbutt. Wyatt charges into a boot to the face but avoids an elbow drop.
It’s Wyatt in control now and kicking away at the giant but being launched off a cover. The Spider Walk looks good but only gets Bray clotheslined down. He comes back with a splash in the corner but has to stop before running into a boot to the face. Something like a Stunner to the leg puts Big Show down and Harper gets in a shot of his own. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 4:10.
Rating: C-. This is the kind of win that Bray needed going into the pay per view. You don’t often get to see him wrestle but he always puts on a good show when he does. Big Show is still someone who can give a rub and that’s what we got here. Nice main event and thankfully it didn’t last too long.
Overall Rating: C+. Tonight was a night of wrestling and did a nice job of firming up things for the show in nine days. Other than Sandow vs. Sin Cara and Fandango vs. Goldust, most of the matches had some storyline development, but even those four guys are all in the battle royal. It’s a good show to set up Wrestlemania and that’s the kind of thing WWE needs right now.
Results
Shield b. 3MB – Dirty Deeds to McIntyre
Shield b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Peace of Mind to Axel
Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – Rollup
Fandango b. Goldust – Kick to the head
Sheamus b. Batista via DQ when Batista used a chair
Bella Twins b. AJ Lee/Tamina – Bella Buster to Lee
Jack Swagger b. Jimmy Uso – Patriot Lock
Mark Henry b. The Miz – World’s Strongest Slam
Bray Wyatt b. Big Show – Sister Abigail
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: March 25, 2014
We’re getting very close to Wrestlemania last night with only one Raw left after last night. The big story was the absence of Daniel Bryan but everything else was covered. Let’s get to it.
The opening was Stephanie being called a sl** by Batista and Big Dave spearing Orton. This worked very well as the focus shifted to Batista vs. Orton instead of just HHH vs. Bryan as we’ve seen for the last few weeks. They’re doing a great job at planting seeds of doubt about Bryan winning, which is the best thing you can do in a match that has a seemingly obvious ending.
Having Batista and Orton have their own issues also opens up a few more doors to the match. It’s going to be boring if everyone is waiting for Bryan to hit the running knee on someone to win the title, so having the others have issues helps a lot. This and the very good HHH promo later gave me a lot more hope for both matches.
The HHH interview was HHH sounding evil and letting us inside his mind heading into Wrestlemania. While it’s clear that HHH is corrupt and evil, it’s ok as long as he can justify his own actions. HHH wanting to be the champion himself because he’s the only one he can trust is where this story should have gone from the beginning and it’s the right ending now.
The fourway was really good stuff with a lot of great false finishes. I love the idea of having a #1 contenders match to earn a title shot rather than just having someone beat Big E. to set up the title match. That being said, Christian didn’t get the shot as he was injured in the match but it was a nice idea at least.
Wyatts were awesome. Nothing new here.
Scooby-Doo was just there to promote the movie and there’s nothing wrong with that. The movie is good too if you’ve got an hour and twenty minutes to kill. I’m not sure what Sandow did to tick WWE off though.
Los Matadores beat Ryback/Axel, who are still getting a title shot at Wrestlemania. Apparently Los Matadores and the Real Americans have been added to the title match as well which helps a lot.
Fandango vs. Cody happened and that’s about all I’ve got on that one.
The Hogan/Schwarzenegger segment was exactly what it needed to be. Miz getting to come out there might have been the second biggest night of his career.
Big Show beat up Titus O’Neil. Titus looked good but it doesn’t matter when Big Show just shrugs off the offense and knocked Titus out for the pin.
Cena didn’t see the sheep mask in a bathroom mirror. People were comparing this to Hogan vs. Warrior and Undertaker vs. Orton but it came off more as the Wyatts are creepy. Cena literally didn’t see it so it was the Wyatts stalking him and Cena not knowing what was going on rather than him going nuts.
Harper and Cena had the best match of Harper’s career. Luke looked GREAT out there and thankfully didn’t have to job at the end of it. Cena continues to make people look far better than anyone else can and he did it very well with Harper last night. The ending was eery with the Wyatts tying Cena to the ropes and putting the sheep mask on his face. The fact that it was in the dark made it even better as you were left to think about what those creepy guys might have been doing to Cena.
The Divas Title match was announced and apparently AJ will be defending against thirteen people. The Total Divas theme song playing to end the segment made one thing clear: this was a big commercial for the show. Even with that, I have a feeling they’re going to keep the title on AJ, perhaps for a Paige debut the next night?
Scott Hall is going into the Hall of Fame. I’m surprised they listed him as Razor Ramon instead of Scott but the fact that he’s sober enough to be inducted it wonderful.
Shield vs. Real Americans was good stuff and Rollins continues to look awesome. I already went on a rant about the Outlaws being in the six man with Kane at Wrestlemania does nothing for me so I’ll spare you from a repeat. The word on the street says that it’s so the Outlaws can work with the Shield because they want to, and Heaven forbid the Outlaws don’t get what they want. Hopefully Shield destroys them and sends the Outlaws back into retirement.
I’ve never been the biggest Outlaws fan in the world but they’re not horrible. The problem is I don’t see the benefit in having them around anymore. It was a nice nostalgia run and them winning the belts was a nice moment, but it’s been done and they lost the titles and their rematch. Why do we need to see them anymore?
Heyman/Lesnar vs. Undertaker was exactly what you would expect and there wasn’t much to complain about with it. Undertaker was creepy and Lesnar got run off again, meaning the odds are he’ll get the better of the dead guy next week as we head to Wrestlemania. The build to the match has been different than most as Brock is being treated as a huge underdog despite being the biggest threat to the Streak in years.
Raw was another solid effort last night. The company is clicking at the right now time and Wrestlemania is looking better and better every week. Bryan not being there last night was a good thing as he gets most of the attention whenever he’s on screen. It made the show feel more like a complete card and even added three matches to fill the whole thing out. It was a good show and I’m fired up for Wrestlemania.
Oh yeah and there were Punk chants. WWE just ignored them and went on with the show, as they should have. The strategy worked and the whiny fans got into the show multiple times.
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Smackdown – March 21, 2014: Shield For Good
Smackdown Date: March 21, 2014
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
HHH is back to being full evil as we only have five shows left before Wrestlemania. Other than that we’re looking at another story building show tonight with Kane talking about replacing Shield, the battle royal needing more names and Bray Wyatt being creepy and getting in Cena’s head. Speaking of Cena, he’s facing Luke Harper tonight. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
There’s a fourway tag team match tonight for a shot at the Usos, presumably at Wrestlemania.
Here’s Kane to open things up. He introduces us to a video from the end of Raw with HHH ending the YES Movement. Back live and Kane says the blame is on all of the fans who cheer for Bryan and convince him that he’s bigger than WWE and the Authority. Everyone learned a lesson on Monday when they saw that no one is greater than the Authority.
What people need to understand is that some people are just better than others. HHH is better than Daniel Bryan and the Authority is better than all of you. Kane is shouting this at the fans but calms down and pulls a letter out of his pocket. It’s from HHH who has asked Kane to read it to us. The letter is delayed by a YOU SOLD OUT chant before Kane reads the standard corporate apology as the fans boo it out of the building.
Fandango vs. Fernando
Yes, one of the Matadores is getting a singles match. This is joined in progress after a break with Fandango chopping the masked man down. We hit the chinlock on Fernando but he avoids a middle rope knee drop. A standing hurricanrana and a springboard back elbow gets two on Fandango but a Summer distraction lets Fandango get in a cheap shot. Torito freaks out because Summer is in a red dress and the chase is on, allowing Fernando roll up the dancer for the pin at 2:35.
Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler
Sandow jumps him to start and drives in knees to the chest. A Russian legsweep and knee drop have Ziggler in even more trouble as the announcers talk about the battle royal. Ziggler escapes a backdrop and shakes his h\ips a bit before dropkicking Damien outside. Dolph gets back on the top but Damien kicks him down, sending Ziggler’s head onto the steps with a sick thud. That made me cringe.
Back in and Damien hammers away at the head while screaming at Ziggler to stay down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Sandow drops some more knees. Dolph is sent outside and into the barricade to give Damien a two count. Back to the chinlock for a bit but Dolph fights up with his jumping DDT. Ziggler hammers away in the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker. Sandow gets in a few right hands but Ziggler comes back with the Fameasser for the pin at 5:53.
Rating: D+. Not bad here and the fans were into Ziggler but it wasn’t the best match in the world. It’s nice to see Sandow not losing in a minute or so and it’s good to see Ziggler get some momentum heading into the battle royal. It’s also a good change of pace to see someone with with something other than their trademark finisher.
The Wyatts appear on screen and Luke says he is John’s reaper tonight. Bray pops up and says John being afraid of Bray makes sense. Wyatt was born of the world’s hatred and feeds on hate. The buzzards are circling overhead and Bray is Cena’s torment waiting down below. Cena’s fear is Bray’s power and the power is his control. Run.
Slam City preview.
Shield vs. Real Americans vs. 3MB vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
One fall to a finish and it’s Ambrose/Rollins and McIntyre/Mahal here. The announcers talk about everyone being a heel here as Ambrose works on Axel to start. An elbow drop gets two but it’s off to Mahal who has about the same success as Axel. Rollins comes in to work on Jinder’s arm but Ryback tags Mahal and runs Seth over. Rollins knees his way out of a vertical suplex and Shield clotheslines Ryback outside. Axel is sent out as well and Shield hits stereo suicide dives as we take a break.
Back with 3MB double teaming Ambrose to give Mahal a two count. During the break, Cesaro swung Ambrose into the barricade in a painful looking crash. Ryback comes back in to stay on Dean with a splash getting two. The Meat Hook drops Ambrose but Swagger tags Ryback to get a quick two. The Vader Bomb into the double stomp from Cesaro gets two and Cesaro locks a chinlock on Dean.
Ambrose fights up and hits a clothesline on Cesaro followed by a DDT on Swagger. Rollins and Mahal come in off double tags and Seth cleans house. A Blockbuster drops Mahal and Seth follows up with a flip dive to take out Ryback. Heath Slater breaks up the Black Out but gets speared by Reigns. The Black Out connects on Mahal but McIntyre makes the save at the last second. Everything breaks down and Kane runs in for the no contest at 8:17 shown of 11:47.
Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible but I was hoping for an actual #1 contender instead of what looks like a multi team match at Wrestlemania. Shield worked well as faces here though and there’s potential there if they keep on this path. It’s a good enough match but dropping 3 MB would have helped here.
Reigns and Kane fight up the ramp until the New Age Outlaws show up to help Kane. Ryback, Axel and the Real Americans lay out Rollins and Ambrose as Reigns is triple teamed. Kane chokeslams the other members of Shield as well as the beatdown goes on for awhile. It looks like Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws at Wrestlemania which doesn’t do much for me. I can’t buy the Outlaws as a real threat to Shield no matter how they spin it.
Time for MizTV with the focus on the battle royal. Miz officially throws his name in the hat and guarantees victory. The guest tonight is Big Show who Miz describes as the odds on favorite. Big Show talks about the comparisons to Andre the Giant over his career and says winning the battle royal will cement his legacy. Miz brings up Big Show’s nine losses at Wrestlemania so Big Show threatens to pop Miz’s head open.
Perhaps out of fear, Miz brings out some of the other entrants in the battle royal, including Titus O’Neil, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio, Big E. Langston (Miz throws in the Langston), Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Goldust and Sheamus. The Irishman thinks we should have a battle royal of our own right now. Miz thinks everyone should get Big Show but they fight each other instead with Miz bailing to the floor.
Sheamus and Big Show throw out everyone on their own in about a minute and a half until they’re the only ones left. They fight for a bit until Big Show blocks a Brogue Kick and puts him on the apron. Miz comes back in as Show dumps Sheamus. A chokeslam gets rid of Miz and Big Show stands tall. This wasn’t a match but it did its job well.
Big E. vs. Alberto Del Rio
Non-title. Big E. takes him into the corner and hammers away but gets spun around in the corner, setting up the double stomp to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Big E. fights up. He charges into a pair of boots in the corner and gets two off a Backstabber. Del Rio avoids a charge to send Big E.’s shoulder into the post and the low superkick gets the pin at 2:48. What is it with Del Rio beating Big E. so easily when they fight?
Santino is upset that he and Emma have been having issues trying to go on a date. He complains to the makeup lady and talks about how much he cares for Emma as she’s behind him. Emma surprises him and they bump heads as Santino falls out of a chair.
Mr. T. Hall of Fame video.
Summer Rae/Natalya vs. Bella Twins
AJ is on commentary and seems to be ok with Tamina now. Nikki takes over on Natalya to start but Summer tags herself in. Summer sends her to the apron as AJ talks about how the match is a trainwreck. Brie comes in as the heels get in an argument, setting up the Bella Buster to Summer for the pin at 2:20. Nothing here at all.
We go back to Main Event for the Undertaker’s response to Paul Heyman. Undertaker choked Heyman down and told Heyman that he’ll slay the Beast in New Orleans. Lesnar and Undertaker will both be on Raw.
Video on the Streak.
Kane thanks those that helped him take out Shield. Ryback and Axel are granted a Tag Team Title match but Zeb wants to know what they’re getting. The Real Americans are granted a shot as well (no date was given for either shot), leaving only 3MB. Kane puts them in the battle royal. The Band leaves and the Outlaws come in. Kane is pleased with both of them and that’s about it.
Lane/Rusev do their thing.
Daniel Bryan’s shoulder is damaged and needs rest but he’s not missing any live events and will be on Raw.
John Cena vs. Luke Harper
Before the match we get the Eminem music video on Cena vs. Wyatt from Raw. Harper drives Cena into the corner to start but John comes out with right hands. Harper avoids a charge in the corner though and gets two off a neckbreaker. The LET’S GO CENA chants dominate their counterparts as Luke puts on a chinlock. Back up and Cena counters the shoulders with an atomic drop followed by a big boot for two. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle connect as Rowan is at ringside.
Harper escapes the AA and kicks Cena’s head off for two. John slaps on the STF but Luke bites his way out of it. Harper’s powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana but Luke one ups him with a running hurricanrana of his own. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Cena but a third big boot is countered into the AA for the pin at 5:29.
Rating: C. This was fine and Harper got to show off like Rowan did in his match against Cena. Having Harper and Rowan around is a built in perk for Bray as it allows his feuds to continue without having Bray get in the ring. The match was about what you would expect with Harper continuing to look good on his own.
Cena bails as the other Wyatts hit the ring.
Overall Rating: C. Tonight was giving focus to the Shield vs. Kane feud and the battle royal plus a few other things on the side. It’s always nice to see the lesser matches get some build, though I continue to wonder how good a big battle royal can possibly be. I hope Big Show is a red herring as he may make sense but he’s not the most interesting winner in the world.
Results
Fernando b. Fandango – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Fameasser
Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Shield vs. 3MB vs. Real Americans went to a no contest
Alberto Del Rio b. Big E. – Superkick
Bella Twins b. Summer Rae/Natalya – Bella Buster to Summer
John Cena b. Luke Harper – Attitude Adjustment
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: March 18, 2014
Last night’s show was about driving these shows into the fans’ hearts. The matches are mostly set but now we need a reason to care about what we’re watching. The show did a good job of making you feel what the wrestlers were feeling and that’s hard to do. Let’s get to it.
The HHH/Batista/Orton argument to start things off was as good as it was going to be. Batista being acknowledged as a movie star and the No Paparazzi shirt were signs of a character change for him and of things to come. HHH getting so frustrated with both guys that he put himself into the match makes sense and offers some drama to the Bryan vs. HHH match.
Yeah it’s obvious that Bryan makes the title match and gets the belt (in theory) but it’s nice to see them adding something to it. There’s nothing wrong with having an obvious ending, but adding some drama isn’t a bad idea. This is the Mike Tyson as guest referee of Wrestlemania XXX.
It’s also nice to see some animosity between Batista and Orton. Until now they’ve just been kind of there in the background of Daniel Bryan vs. HHH which didn’t work as there was no actual guarantee either of them would make the title match leading into last night. I’m glad they haven’t been forgotten because there’s a natural history there if they’ll just acknowledge it. Making it a three or even a fourway isn’t my favorite thing in the world but it’s the logical call this year.
The Real Americans beat the Usos to presumably earn a title shot. Because THERE ARE NO OTHER IDEAS IN THE HISTORY OF BOOKING OTHER THAN HAVING THE CHAMPIONS GET PINNED BY A CHALLENGER BECAUSE JUST HAVING A FREAKING #1 CONTENDERS MATCH IS TOO COMPLICATED FOR A BUNCH OF HOLLYWOOD HACKS WHO CAN’T GET A JOB OUTSIDE OF STEPHANIE MCMAHON’S OFFICE!!!
I wasn’t big on the booking if that wasn’t clear.
WWE has a new animated series called Slam City where the wrestlers all get fired and have to get real jobs. It’s an idea but can we get a Hulk’s Rock And Wrestling channel on the Network?
Sheamus beat Titus O’Neil in the St. Patrick’s Day thing. It’s nothing of note but it looks like Titus is going to become a jobber to the stars. Titus, Sheamus and Christian are all in the battle royal which isn’t a surprise.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Scooby Doo will be guest stars next week. Yeah Arnold isn’t a big deal anymore, but I sat through Florence Henderson as the guest star of a Raw I went to. I approve of Arnold.
Cena and Bray Wyatt had the segment of the night. Cena admitted to being afraid of Bray because Wyatt is something he’s never faced before. Bray has accused Cena of being hollow and being afraid of what’s coming to him after his career is over. There’s a HUGE story to get into with that angle if they choose to but I have a feeling it’s not happening. When I say huge, I mean that could culminate at like Wrestlemania 35.
Bray continues to be one of the best promo men in the business as I totally bought everything that he’s saying. However, there was one thing during his promo that was incredibly interesting: a John Cena chant.
Think about that for a minute. Bray Wyatt is talking about getting rid of John Cena and the fans LOUDLY chant for John as a result. You often hear fans booing Cena and the “Let’s Go Cena/Cena Sucks!” chants, but as soon as the idea of no more Cena comes up, it’s “CENA! CENA! CENA!” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it here again: so many fans aren’t going to realize how truly great Cena is until the day he’s gone.
I’ve mostly covered the Orton vs. Bryan stuff earlier, but the No DQ stipulation helped a lot here. Batista came out to help Bryan and they set up a nice shot at the end: Batista takes out Orton, Bryan steals the pin. Nice “what if” scenario for Wrestlemania.
Heyman’s weekly promo was nothing special but the idea of Brock being able to destroy Undertaker’s opponents far more easily than Undertaker could. The line of “Now he conquers death itself” line was excellent.
Goldust vs. Fandango was an interesting idea but the match wasn’t much. I did really like having a random match though, just as a breather from the rest of the show.
Kane vs. Shield sounds like a way to bring Ascension up as the replacements for the Shield. There isn’t much else to say than that. Lawler was just a catalyst for the story advancement.
Yet again a champion got pinned to set up a future match. It seems like we’re getting Nikki vs. Naomi vs. AJ vs. Tamina for the title. It’s so we can have a Total Divas season finale, but at least they didn’t rush through AJ’s title reign to get there.
Mr. T. goes into the Hall of Fame. No complaints from me on that one.
The battle royal match was nothing special and exactly what it needed to be. I’m sorry for all the short lines here but there isn’t much to say about a lot of this stuff.
Bray squashed Kofi and looked awesome doing it.
The big segment to end the show was HHH saying he respected Bryan but being sent back on Stephanie’s orders. Cops came out and handcuffed Bryan before being revealed that they weren’t really cops and it was all A RUSE. The huge beating ensued and HHH looked pure evil. That’s what this story has needed and it worked like a charm here. I’ve heard complaints that HHH beat him up too long but I didn’t get that feeling at all. I forgot to mention that Stephanie revealed she had the key all along. Why that’s supposed to be a shock doesn’t quite register to me.
Overall last night’s show was excellent and there’s nothing I can really add to it. It’s really hard to go on and on about a show I really liked and it’s even worse when it’s just building up to the rest of the pay per view. Great episode this week and Wrestlemania is going to rock.
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Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2014: The Pathos to Wrestlemania
Monday Night Raw Date: March 17, 2014
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We’re under three weeks to Wrestlemania now and we’ve got the biggest matches down now. The main story coming into tonight will be HHH retaliating against Daniel Bryan as he promised to do on Smackdown. Other than that we’re likely going to get some more entrants into the Andre battle royal. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Occupy Raw last week.
HHH is in the ring and says what happens at Wrestlemania is all going to be our fault. He’s had a week to think about what happened with Daniel Bryan and it doesn’t sit well with him. At Wrestlemania, he’s going to do what he always does in the ring, but we’ll see that in twenty days. He tells us to enjoy the rest of the show but here’s Batista to interrupt.
Batista says HHH has problems with Daniel Bryan but the real problems are with him. HHH has no right to add Bryan to Batista’s main event because he’s back to be WWE Champion. Batista wants to know what HHH is thinking, but HHH wants to know why Batista thinks Bryan has a chance to make it to the title match at all.
This brings out Randy Orton to throw in his two cents. Orton is worried about Bryan being added as well but HHH cuts him off and asks if Bryan is really that much in their heads. The fans chant YES and Batista says Bryan may be in their heads, but nowhere near as much as he’s in HHH’s. Orton asks for and receives a No DQ match against Bryan tonight to prove he can do what Batista couldn’t.
Orton and Batista argue with Batista saying the YES Movement exists is because Orton sucks. He calls Orton a paper champion who only has those belts because of HHH’s support. HHH tries to hold them apart but gets shoved away so he just leaves. Batista says HHH has to fix this but HHH says he’s sick of this.
He’s sick of the little troll face Daniel Bryan, the fans chanting for him, of Hollywood movie stars telling HHH how to run this business, and of talented guys who need him to hold their hand to win a match. Maybe the old man was right: the only one you can trust in this world is yourself, so there’s going to be a triple threat at Wrestlemania, but Daniel Bryan won’t be in it. Instead, HHH is going to beat Daniel Bryan and go into the match himself. In other words, the winner goes to the title match. HHH leaves and Orton lays out Batista with an RKO.
Batista leaves and says coming back was a big mistake.
Real Americans vs. Usos
Non-title and this is a result of the Usos saving Cody Rhodes and Goldust from a post match attack by the Real Americans on Smackdown. Jey runs over Swagger to start and catches him in a spinebuster. Cole screws up early this time and says a win for the Tag Team Champions could give the Real Americans a shot at the titles. Cesaro comes in and works over Jey in the corner but gets caught by a kick to the chest.
Off to Jimmy for an uppercut and a slam. Jey comes back in and tries a leapfrog but jumps into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Off to Swagger again for a chinlock but Jimmy fights up and tags his brother back in to speed things up. A Cesaro distraction lets Jack kick Jimmy to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cesaro in control of Jimmy but he punches his way out of the corner.
Swagger catches him in a belly to belly suplex for two, followed by the Vader Bomb/Cesaro double stomp spot. The announcers praise the company for some awards the WWE App has won as Cesaro nails Jimmy with a European uppercut. Jimmy avoids a charge from Swagger and knocks Cesaro to the floor. A spinning kick to the back of Swagger’s head is enough for the hot tag to Jey who shouts US a lot before the corner Umaga attack gets two.
Jimmy breaks up a Cesaro Swing attempt and throws Cesaro at Jey for a Samoan drop and a near fall. Swagger comes back in and gets caught by the double superkick to send him to the floor. Jimmy dives onto Jack but Cesaro blocks a Jey dive with the European uppercut, setting up the Neutralizer for the pin on Jey at 12:25.
Rating: C. The amtch was fun but at the same time can we PLEASE stop having new champions lose matches to set up a future Tag Title match, which will likely have the New Age Outlaws as well. Here’s a simple way to do this instead: “The following contest is for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Championship!” Throw Los Matadores out there and have a match, making both the champions and challengers look strong. Why do I have to give writing lessons to a WRITING TEAM?
We look at WWE Slam City, an animated series about what happens when the wrestlers all get fired and have to get day jobs. I’ve heard worse ideas actually.
Clip from Smackdown of the Shield costing Kane a match and leaving him laying after a Reigns spear to end the show.
Kane comes up to Shield in the back and says all four of them made mistakes on Friday. Ambrose doesn’t seem to care but Kane says they have a mission. If he can’t count on them then the Authority can’t count on them, meaning they’re a liability. Kane asks if he can count on them. Rollins says they’re united and Reigns says believe it. Kane gets even more serious and calls them replaceable.
Hornswoggle hands out t-shirts to fans when Bad News Barrett rises up on his podium. He makes fun of the leprechaun celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and talks about St. Patrick chasing the snakes out of Ireland. However, the bad news is the fans will spend all day getting drunk, have a hangover tomorrow and regret all the stupid things they’ve done.
Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil
Hornswoggle is still at ringside. Titus is officially in the battle royal and comes out with a big green and white hat and a bright orange beard painted on his face. Christian is on commentary and announces himself as an entrant as well. O’Neil hammers Sheamus into the corner to start but gets sent to the floor and shouldered off the apron. Titus rams him into the post as Christian says he’s undefeated except for the losses he’s caused himself.
Christian says JBL looks like David Spade in a fat suit and JBL nearly loses it. Titus slams Sheamus to the mat and then the floor before throwing Hornswoggle inside. He tries a fall away slam but Sheamus comes back in and catches the little guy before throwing him into Titus’ ribs. There are the ten forearms to the chest and a powerslam setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin at 4:11.
Rating: C. Decent little power match here but Titus needs to win a match that matters instead of just being a jobber to the stars. He showed so much potential before the Darren Young match but this is his first appearance in weeks. It’s better than having nothing to do though so it could be worse.
Sheamus enters the battle royal post match but Christian attacks him and hits the Killswitch on the floor because this feud just can’t end.
Next week’s guest star: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine will be there as well.
Here’s Cena to talk about the Wyatts. He says he’s been here 12 years and has had over 3,500 matches which makes him like family to the WWE Universe. They’re like an old married couple and he has a secret for them: he’s afraid of Bray Wyatt. He’s afraid of everything Bray stands for and what he is, because he’s never fought anyone like Bray before.
Bray is trying to convince the people that what you see with John Cena isn’t real. Cena won’t take that because he believes in everything he’s done and stands for because Wrestlemania is about fighting for every scar and injury he’s been through. He’ll fight for his legacy at Wrestlemania and here are the Wyatts on screen.
Bray is wearing a Cena shirt and says children believe in superheroes because they want to believe the world is good. They haven’t learned the truth about life yet. Bray’s childhood wasn’t all rainbows and butterfliers. He has scars of his own because the world gave them to him. Everything he loves in life is going to wither away and die.
The fans chant for Cena as Bray says he could be just like John. He could sign autographs and kiss babies to make sure people bought his merchandise and go home to his plastic girlfriend in his castle while making jokes about everything to make himself feel better. At Wrestlemania, Bray doesn’t care if he dies as long as the world sees Cena the way he does. Follow the buzzards.
Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
No DQ and non-title. Orton hammers him into the corner to start but can’t ram Bryan face first into the buckle. Daniel scores with a knee to the ribs and wraps Randy’s leg around the post. Back in and Orton uppercuts Bryan down and heads to the floor for some forearms to the chest. Daniel comes back with a hard shot to knock Orton off the apron before nailing the FLYING GOAT. Orton pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and says there’s no bell to ring because it’s No DQ. He belly to back suplexes Bryan onto the announce table and we take a break.
Back with Orton still in control and working over Bryan’s back before crotching him against the post. He hits the backbreaker from the apron to the floor in a nice looking move as the announcers talk about HHH losing his cool earlier tonight. They head inside again with Orton throwing Bryan into the corner before stopping to do the YES motion. Bryan backflips over Orton out of the corner and hits the running clothesline.
Daniel hits the running dropkick in the corner to set up a top rope hurricanrana for two. It’s kendo stick/YES KICK time with Daniel going off on Orton. The big kick to the head gets two more but Randy pops up and crotches Daniel on the top rope. A superplex gets two for the champion and he just stomps on Bryan out of frustration.
The Elevated DDT puts Daniel down but he rolls to the floor before the RKO. Orton comes outside and gets caught by the running dropkick, sending Orton into the timekeeper’s area. Randy gets a chair and blasts Daniel in the ribs and back before heading back inside, only to have Batista spear Orton in half. Bryan dropkicks Batista outside and steals the pin on Batista at 14:32.
Rating: B-. These guys get better each time they’re out there and this was their most entertaining match in awhile. The No DQ rule helped a lot and even though it was pretty obvious Batista was coming back, the stuff we got leading up to that was entertaining as well. Good match here.
Batista hits the Bomb on Orton post match.
How to get the WWE Network.
Here’s Heyman with something to say. He says Undertaker has gotten a lot of wins at Wrestlemania but barely survived. Those same opponents have been easily beaten by Brock Lesnar and Heyman has proof. We get a video of Undertaker’s Wrestlemania matches, showing how much more difficult each victory has been because Undertaker is getting older. On the other hand, Brock has destroyed HHH, Mark Henry and CM Punk. The video closes with a great line: “Now he will conquer death itself.” Heyman says the Streak will Rest in Peace at Wrestlemania.
HHH and Stephanie are in the back and Stephanie doesn’t like the idea of HHH talking to Bryan tonight. She’ll ignore him saying he wants to talk to Bryan “like a man” and goes on a rant about Bryan spitting on the McMahon legacy. HHH says it’s just talking but Stephanie wants to know what happens when HHH wins the title and has to go on the road. What about their business or the family. HHH glares at her and says he’s got this so don’t worry about it. Stephanie says he better take care of things before storming out.
Goldust vs. Fandango
Goldust looks at Summer Rae and still catches Fandango coming after him. A few atomic drops have the dancer in trouble and Goldust does a few steps of his own. Summer gets on the apron as Goldust does some disco dancing. He barks at Summer but Cody catches her, only to have Fandango get in some cheap shots.
Summer doesn’t mind being caught by Cody but Fandango isn’t pleased. We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Goldust fights up, only to get caught in the chinlock again. Goldust has a bit of blood next to his right eye. A suplex gets two on Goldust but Fandango misses the top rope legdrop. Goldust hits a quick Final Cut for the pin at 5:13. Goldust looked angry about the cut.
Rating: C-. You know what? I kind of liked this. No story, no reason for the match, nothing after. Just two guys having a match for about five minutes and the bigger star getting a clean pin. Everything has a point most of the time and it gets a bit tiring at times. I rather enjoyed just having a quick match with no meaning to it at all. Not a bad match either.
Here’s Kane to address the Shield. He talks about all the safety codes that were broken last week in the Occupy Raw movement and blames someone for causing it. Jerry Lawler of all people was apparently responsible for getting those fans into the ring, which JBL accused him of doing last week. Lawler won’t get up so here’s Shield to deal with the problem. Kane unbuttons his shirt and says he’s known Jerry for a long time. Lawler isn’t in fighting shape so Kane is only going to enjoy this a little. Jerry is given the chance to speak on his own behalf as Shield surrounds him.
Instead it’s Rollins saying he sees the look in Lawler’s eyes and has a good feeling Daniel Bryan isn’t coming to save him. The Shield however, always does what’s best for business. They slowly turn to face Kane and Lawler takes the opportunity to run for his life. Kane stares the three of them down and shakes his head. He says Reigns doesn’t know what he’s about to do and the beating is on. Kane fights them off for awhile but Rollins kicks his head off and the spear drops him. There’s the Triple Bomb and Kane is left laying. This still didn’t feel like a face turn but rather an anti-Kane turn.
Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka
Naomi is back with a patch over her eye (and of course it has glitter) and the Bellas are on commentary. Nikki thinks she should get a Divas Title shot, even though Naomi is #1 contender. Cameron hammers away on Tamina to start but gets her head taken off by a clothesline. AJ comes in and puts on a chinlock as the Bellas tease JBL with talk of tattoos. Back to Tamina but Cameron makes the tag off to Naomi. Everything breaks down and AJ grabs a guillotine choke on Naomi, only to be slammed down, followed by the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:42.
Rating: C. For commercial for Total Divas. Multi-Diva match at the PPV. Next.
AJ yells at Tamina post match and gets shoved down. Tamina walks off.
The latest inductee into the Hall of Fame is Mr. T., which was announced earlier today.
We look back at Hogan announcing the battle royal last week.
Big E./Big Show/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry vs. Alberto Del Rio/Damien Sandow/Curtis Axel/Ryback
All eight of these guys are in the battle royal. Big E. and Ryback start things out and a weak Goldberg chant begins. Ryback shoves him into the corner but Big E. runs him over with a big shoulder. Off to Henry vs. Axel with Mark kicking Curtis’ face off. Ziggler gets the tag to a high pitched pop and grabs a neckbreaker on Ryback. A dropkick sends the power guy to the floor and it’s a standoff as we go to a break.
Back with Sandow working over Ziggler before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical suplex. He takes a bit too long though and Dolph counters into a small package for two. Back to Axel for some elbows to the head but Ziggler comes back with a DDT. Sandow breaks up the hot tag attempt and sends Dolph head first into the buckle. He misses a charge though and goes head first into the buckle as well, allowing the hot tag to Big Show. Everything breaks down and people are thrown up and over the top rope. Big Show and Sandow are left alone and it’s a chokeslam for the pin at approximately 12:00.
Rating: C-. This was just a preview for the battle royal and there’s nothing wrong with that. Much like everything else tonight, the wrestling wasn’t the point here and it really didn’t need to be. The battle royal is going to be a big part of the show and it’s going to be a fun match so points for actually building it a big.
We look back at the Bryan/Batista/Orton situation from earlier.
Batista tries to leave again and says he’s never quit anything in his life. He’s leaving Wrestlemania with the title no matter who the third man is.
Bray Wyatt vs. Kofi Kingston
Before the match we get a video on Bray vs. Cena set to a rap song about a guy being strange since birth and talking about legacy with clips of Bray’s original backwoods videos, comparing them to Cena’s mainstream appeal. This is really starting to work. The match is a total squash with Bray destroying Kofi while singing about having the joy down in his heart. He runs Kofi over with a clothesline and drives in right hands before dropping him with a gutbuster. Sister Abigail ends this squash at 2:55.
Trailer for Oculus, a new movie from WWE Studios. It’s a horror movie about an evil mirror.
Here’s HHH for the big talk with Bryan. Daniel accepts his invitation down to the ring and HHH says this has never been personal. It’s always been about what’s best for business whether Daniel can understand that or not. Somehow this has been where it’s always led and they’re going to fight in three weeks at Wrestlemania. HHH won’t apologize for what he does to Bryan in that ring and he wouldn’t expect an apology from Bryan either. Bryan has crossed a line and HHH has to put an end to it at Wrestlemania because he has no choice.
HHH has to end the YES Movement and end the uprising and shut everything down. He has to do that and if he has to destroy Daniel to do that, then so be it. There are no hard feelings in all of this and may the best man win. HHH sticks out his hand but Bryan shakes his head no. That’s cool with HHH because he would do the exact same thing. HHH has tried to stop Bryan since Summerslam and dumped a world on top of him, but Bryan is still standing here. The fans chant for Daniel Bryan because he hasn’t folded under the pressure. Now the fans try a CM Punk chant as HHH says Bryan has earned his respect.
He goes to leave but here’s Stephanie to rant about respect. Bryan endangered people’s lives last week including HHH’s, so she’s pressing formal charges. Cops come out to arrest Bryan, though I’m not sure they have jurisdiction over something that happened in Tennessee. The cops surround Bryan and forcibly take him to the ground with nightsticks. They don’t beat him, but HHH has that evil smile on his face. He calls the cops as Bryan’s hands are bound behind his back.
HHH says this isn’t what he wants because these aren’t even real cops. They leave the ring and Stephanie is smiling as well. HHH is looking forward to this and goes after a defenseless Bryan. They head outside with HHH sending him into the steps and announce table as Stephanie cheers him on. Bryan comes back with some headbutts, only to be dropped on the announce table again.
He screams about his arm before HHH throws him into the barricade and punches even more. The beating keeps going with Bryan just getting destroyed. HHH lays him on the table one more time and Stephanie mocks the YES motion. She gets in a few slaps for good measure. Bryan: “YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!” HHH lay shim against the post and cracks Bryan in the head with a chair like a Concharito. Daniel is out cold so HHH adds a Pedigree and kisses Stephanie. He says this belongs to them and there is no YES Movement.
Overall Rating: B+. Tonight was all about the emotions leading up to Wrestlemania. We saw it in the triple threat story, heard about it with Cena being afraid of Bray Wyatt, heard it from Big Show when he talked about what the battle royal meant to him and saw it with Kane being angry at the Shield.
The matches are all set but tonight was a big step in making us care. Having a good match is one thing, but making the fans CARE about it is a different story entirely. The latter is very rare but they’re going for it with this Wrestlemania. That’s the right way to go about a big show and they’re giving it the effort it needs. Tonight made me want to see these matches on a different level than I did before and that’s exactly what these shows are supposed to do.
Results
Real Americans b. Usos – Neutralizer to Jey
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neil – Brogue Kick
Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Pin after a spear from Batista
Goldust b. Fandango – Final Cut
Funkadactyls b. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee – Split legged moonsault to AJ
Big E./Big Show/Dolph Ziggler/Mark Henry b. Alberto Del Rio/Damien Sandow/Curtis Axel/Ryback – Chokeslam to Sandow
Bray Wyatt b. Kofi Kingston – Sister Abigail
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: March 11, 2014
We’ve got a lot to cover this week after a huge Raw last night.
First up was Hogan making his announcement that he could rip the bumper off a Cadillac (jack) and wanting to wrestle the whole neighborhood. Other than that the big announcement was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal which is a great way to put thirty names on the card. That’s the best way they can go about doing so as the roster is huge and they couldn’t fit everyone in without having about thirteen matches with a bunch of multi-man matches. The battle royal also opens up the possibilities of some new faces, hopefully from NXT.
After the announcement, John Cena showed up to praise Hogan and throw his name in the battle royal. While a lot of people may not like them, Cena and Hogan are two of the biggest stars of all time and seeing them together for a glorified photo-op is worth seeing. After the usual speeches, the Wyatts showed up with Bray making an incredible speech with the great line of if Cena looks up at him he’ll see a friend, if he looks down at Bray he’ll see an enemy but if he looks Bray in the eye, he’ll see a god.
Cena responded with the usual jokes and a Jimmy Buffett song. You knew this was coming and thankfully it was just a quick blast of jokes before he went on to challenging Wyatt for a match at Wrestlemania. Later in the night Bray accepted the challenge after saying he saw Cena’s future in Hogan. There’s probably a lot of truth in that and an interesting look at where we could be moving with Cena’s character. At some point Cena is going to start facing the end of his career and it’s going to be interesting considering how WWE is his life. That’s a very interesting idea and something we haven’t ever really gotten to see.
Oh and Cena beat Rowan after getting destroyed (just like he was by Cesaro) before getting a quick pin. Rowan has a future and has looked very good in his two matches with Cena and Bryan.
Moving on we had the Authority demanding an apology from Daniel Bryan. I’ll save the rest for later as it’s a huge moment.
The Usos beat up Ryback and Curtis Axel in a quick match and it’s pretty clear the Outlaws are getting a rematch at Wrestlemania. Not much else to say here.
Kane made Shield vs. the Rhodes Brothers, saying their problems started when they lost the Tag Titles. The Shield said that Kane was deflecting his anger from losing two straight matches last week on them. It seems like a way for Kane to leave the Authority by giving into the inner hate and losing his corporate image. It makes sense and is the logical progression for the character, assuming they go there.
Big E. beat Swagger with the second rollup finish in under three and a half minutes of the night. The story here though was the Real Americans being forced to shake hands after Cesaro refused to help Swagger cheat. Again it implies a face turn for someone which is interesting given how strong he’s been pushed lately.
We got Undertaker doing his usual Wrestlemania promo on Brock Lesnar after being interrupted by Paul Heyman. There isn’t much to say here as it was the same stuff we’ve always heard: Brock will dominate, Undertaker is unbeatable, the match will be a way. The most intriguing part here was the commentators saying Brock had almost no chance at Wrestlemania. That’s not something you hear that often and it’s another interesting twist to the match.
One other note: Paul Heyman mentioned that Shawn Michaels had never won two straight matches at Wrestlemania. Incorrect, as he won at Wrestlemanias VII and VIII. Yeah VII was the Rockers but Undertaker won a handicap/tag match at Wrestlemania XIX so pick one or the other.
Shield vs. Rhodes Brothers was exactly what you would expect after these teams fighting over and over. Cody and Goldust are pretty much done as a top tag team but it’s nice to see that they haven’t split. The Black Out from Rollins was awesome looking though and is a good finishing move for him.
Next up was the Divas match which continues to prove one simple truth: the Bella Twins are not very good in the ring. You can see them making sure to go through every single spot step by step without being natural about it at all. They’re basically wrestling in swimsuits (nothing wrong with that) but treating them like they can keep up with the traditional wrestlers is just wrong. Nikki pinned AJ and held up the title while looking at Natalya. I’m thinking a multi-woman match at Wrestlemania for the belt.
This brings us to the big segment of the night. Daniel Bryan came out for the apology but said tonight he was getting what the fans wanted by occupying Raw. The show went to a break and came back to see probably over 100 fans in and around the ring, all in Daniel Bryan shirts and chanting YES. Bryan stayed on the corner and said the show wasn’t going anywhere until he got his match at Wrestlemania with HHH. The Authority came out and said no way, but security walked away from trying to clear the ring.
After a LONG back and forth segment, HHH finally agreed to the match. That still wasn’t enough for Bryan though because he knew the fans wanted to see him wrestling for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. Therefore he threw out an idea: if he defeats HHH, Bryan gets inserted into the title match in the main event. HHH said it would destroy Bryan but finally agreed.
This was quite the spectacle but it wasn’t perfect. For one thing, the segment went on too long and HHH looked like he just snapped instead of letting this build up over time. On top of that, the Authority just can’t act. Stephanie’s acting has always been a joke but HHH sounds like he’s trying to take it too far. The segment felt a bit forced but it didn’t go terribly.
That being said, it got the job done. There was really no other option to get the results that were needed at Wrestlemania short of a fourway which I don’t think would have worked at all. It seems obvious that Bryan wins the title after beating HHH, but I can’t shake a feeling that Batista walks out with the title. I don’t think Bryan loses to HHH of course, but for some reason I think he loses the main event, probably setting up a rematch at Extreme Rules.
Sheamus vs. Christian was good and a nice blowoff to their feud. I could have done without the musical instruments stuff, but it was a good brawl with some nice false finishes. Sheamus still does need to lose once in awhile, but at least the match wasn’t a squash. Christian is falling apart before our eyes though and I can’t picture him being around much longer.
That brings us to the main event which didn’t mean anything at all. Occupy Raw should have closed out the night and the match just didn’t work as a result. It was basically a reason to get Bryan in there with the title contenders and there’s nothing wrong with that, but the match was a letdown after the bigger moments earlier in the night.
Raw last night was all about the heavy lifting for Wrestlemania. We got Bryan vs. HHH, Cena vs. Wyatt and a thirty man battle royal all set up for the PPV. It solved a lot of the problems the show had been facing and gave us some awesome moments in the process. It was a show that needed to happen for awhile now and a lot of things look better. Wrestlemania is a stacked show now with almost everything of note set up. That’s what these shows need to do and they’re doing it quite well.
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Official CM Punk Plan Made By Chicago Fans
This is a real thing.
The imagine isn’t great but if you can’t read it, here’s a slightly better picture.