Monday Nitro #214
Date: November 15, 1999
Location: Barton Coliseum, Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 10,435
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Mayhem so tonight we get the tournament down to the final four. The big question this week though is what genre of direct to video movie are we getting? Last week it was thriller with Kimberly vs. David Flair, mixed in with the comedy of Kevin Nash as the Grand Wizard. Heaven help me but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage over the ring. Of course there is.

Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart

Hardcore, meaning Smiley comes out in football pads and Jimmy in…..a suit of armor. Well that’s kind of Genius of him. Jimmy brings in some weapons and actually doesn’t die at first because Norman can’t see through his helmet. The weapons shots have no effect on Hart so Norman just takes him down by the legs. Hart comes back with some powder to the face and Norman has to take the helmet off to cry.

The fans loudly chant NORMAN, but I’m sure that’s just because of the weapons and not the effort or comedic skills he’s displaying right? Jimmy gets in some weapons shots but Norman gets up, drawing out Knobbs with a chair to the head. Brian loads up a table but Jimmy misses a dive through it, giving Norman the easy pin.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where the guys tried and were having fun, but they firmly hit the roof of what they were capable of doing. It doesn’t help that this is to set up the epic showdown between Knobbs and Smiley, when it seems like there’s something entertaining in having Hart as a hardcore guy if you keep him in the armor.

Knobbs beats Smiley down post match.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Bret Hart

Kidman

Total Package

Sting

Chris Benoit

Scott Hall

Buff Bagwell

Jeff Jarrett

If Curt Hennig can beat Goldberg tonight, he gets a new contract. And what stops the Powers That Be from saying he’s fired from that one if he loses?

Kimberly talks to Terry Taylor. Why is she in the building after last week?

Tonight, Nash is dressed like Sid, complete with some pretty good prosthetic makeup. Well at least he isn’t Slick.

AC Jazz is out of the Nitro Girls so Fyre and Tygress jump Spice. Next.

Here are the Outsiders with Nash as Sid, with a chin that is far bigger than the real version. Keeping in mind that Sid is from Arkansas, the fans aren’t thrilled with this. Nash says he rules the world about five times but stops to remind us that he’s stupid. Cue Sid, who has had enough of these two. We get the famous line of “you are only half of the man that I am, and I have half the brains that you do” which has Hall nearly doubled over in laughter. Sid is already in a match tonight, but he wants to get Nash out of retirement on top of that. Nash says no so Sid calls him a shell of his former self and Nash says……nothing.

Tonight, Booker has to face Creative Control, officially named Gerald and Patrick. Why having the Harris Twins have the same names as the Stooges is supposed to be funny isn’t clear but I’m sure Russo gets a chuckle out of it. Booker says Midnight will strike.

Kimberly tries to see the Powers That Be but the Twins stop her.

Post break, Kimberly is in the Powers’ office and Russo puts her in a match with Asya. There’s going to be a special referee.

Nash comes into Russo’s office.

Booker T. vs. Creative Control

Before he can get to the ring, Booker is stopped by Chavo for an Amway pitch. After that comedy spot goes nowhere, Booker goes after we’ll say Patrick but gets whipped into Gerald’s boot. Tony stops talking about the match to say the Powers That Be have rescinded Nash’s retirement stipulation. Tony: “It was a lame angle anyway.” Every show I watch, I understand Cornette’s rantings and ravings just a bit more.

The Twins start double teaming him and take it outside where Booker can only fight one at a time. Back in and Booker manages a dropkick to put both guys down, setting up the ax kick and a missile dropkick for two with Gerald making a save. The H Bomb gets the pin on Booker a few seconds later.

The gong strikes and Midnight appears to knock out both Twins. This is after she got laid out by Jarrett last week so the effect isn’t all there.

Post break, Russo threatens to make Creative Control into bikers again. They’re banished to go find the luchadors and Torrie.

Evan Karagias vs. Johnny Boone

Yes referee Johnny Boone who is wrestling in jeans here. Madusa comes out with Karagias, who gets jumped as the bell rings. Evan easily shoves him back because he’s a referee as Madusa goes to commentary. They slowly go after each other because Boone, while a trained wrestler, isn’t much above average and that leaves Evan Karagias to carry things. Boone gets a boot up in the corner so Madusa rams his face into her cleavage. He’s out cold and Evan gets the easy pin. Keep in mind that Evan is challenging for the Cruiserweight Title this Sunday and this is his big warmup.

Madusa kisses Evan post match.

Russo has a bunch of luchadors in his face and makes them a deal: he’s going to put a $10,000 check inside a pinata and hang it from a pole. As luck would have it, Juvy is carrying a pinata. They’ll all be given a stick to hit each other with too. You can see the lawsuits from here.

Dr. Death Steve Williams and Ed Ferrara as JR show up.

Creative Control keeps looking for Torrie.

Villano V vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. El Dandy vs. Silver King vs. Psychosis

It’s a brawl to start and the pinata falls down fifteen seconds in. King moonsaults onto Dandy as Williams and Ferrara come to ringside. Ferrara gets on commentary and does his JR impression, listing off football stats, telling Tony to speak in soundbytes and shouting PINATA over and over. Juvy gets the pinata (PINATA! PINATA!) but the match just keeps going with the camera on Ferrara. Guerrera does the elbow drop and shakes the pinata as candy flies everywhere. Dr. Death gets in the ring and beats everyone up for the no contest, after almost everyone had the pinata at one point.

Rating: F. Well let’s see. It was a bunch of racial stereotypes, the pinata didn’t last twenty seconds, Juvy didn’t win for no explained reason, the sticks didn’t go anywhere, it was all about Dr. Death cleaning house at the end, and they spent the entire match ripping on JR after ripping on Sid earlier, Grand Wizard last week and Vince the week before. Pick any two of those reasons and you’ll get why this is a failure.

Dr. Death takes the check from King as the bell rings roughly 857 times.

Goldberg doesn’t care about anything.

Nash is back in his usual clothes and says he took some time off when WCW sucked. Now that Hall is back, things are fun again. Well of course it is. He barely has to do anything but comedy and gets a huge check. Pay no attention to the company, and therefore the checks, dying before his eyes.

Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

Goldberg is coming out of his locker room when Hennig slams the door on his head. Unlike Flair with the WarGames door, Goldberg no sells it and they brawl in the back with Goldberg getting the better of it. They fight to the aisle and the bell rings with Hennig getting knocked to ringside and looking like he’s running scared.

Curt finally gets in some knees to the head as they go inside. The Robinsdale Crunch sets up a stepover toehold for well over a minute, with the referee ignoring Goldberg’s shoulders being down the entire time. Goldberg finally punches him in the face and puts on a leg bar for the submission, meaning Hennig keeps his job.

Rating: D. So Hennig can lose by anything but pin and keep his job. Why would the Powers That Be want to keep him around if he never wins because he keeps submitting or getting counted out? This was another of those mostly hardcore matches which don’t make people care because it doesn’t last five minutes and it’s part of a story that makes no sense.

Kimberly is on the phone with Page when the lights flicker. She panics at the fear of bad writing but Jim Duggan comes up with a flashlight and says the fuses in this place are horrible. I hate to admit it, but this was kind of funny. Ignore the fact that Jim Duggan apparently has a working knowledge of the fuses in an arena in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Creative Control tells the Filthy Animals that they’re fired if they don’t produce Torrie. The Animals heed the threat and go find her. Wait why isn’t she with them in the first place?

Chavo Guerrero sells Duggan some fuses.

Vampiro/Misfits vs. Berlyn/The Wall

The Misfits almost have to be better than the Clowns. The Bodyguard is officially the Wall, which is more punny delight. Three are three Misfits and one is named Jerry Only. Berlyn goes after Vampiro to start and sends him flying with a belly to belly. He misses a dropkick though and it’s off to the Misfits vs. the Wall. The trio is chokeslammed with ease but Vampiro comes in and kicks the Wall in the face.

The fans are way behind Vampiro here but Berlyn kicks him down, setting up a missile dropkick/suplex combo but the Germans argue over the pin. Wall steps aside so Vampiro can hit a quick Nail in the Coffin but Berlyn counters a top rope hurricanrana into a powerbomb. This time it’s Wall breaking up the pin but Vampiro breaks it up, only to eat a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Most of that is because Wall hit some good looking chokeslams and the Misfits were little more than cannon fodder. This might have been the most logical match of the Russo Era so far with Berlyn getting annoyed at Wall for taking the glory, even though Berlyn is a waste of a roster spot at this point. Wall looks like someone they could push as someone interesting, meaning he’s doomed from here.

Berlyn whips Vampiro post match.

Torrie has been brought to the Powers’ office and Russo throws her a referee bikini, because “it’s all about the ratings.” Why did he have one of those handy?

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sid Vicious

Rick is defending even though he didn’t bring the belt with him. We continue a running theme tonight with the guys brawling in the aisle but this time Sid is sent over the barricade and into the crowd. Steiner slams him down on the concrete but Sid fights back, only to put on something like a chinlock near the stage. That goes nowhere so Rick is dragged up to the stage for a low blow, setting up a powerbomb through the stage. Sid walks away and they never actually got into the ring. No match it would seem.

Post break, Rick is taken out on a stretcher. This goes on for the better part of ten minutes and Sid rambles about not wanting to do this to his friend. He’s ready for Nash tonight.

Nash is taping up.

We go to the boiler room for Jerry Flynn vs. Barbarian in something resembling a match. Remember when Mankind and Undertaker did this? Or Big Show and Mankind? Well now it’s Jerry Flynn beating up Barbarian, kicking him up against the wall and I guess knocking him out. Tony brags about how great this is going to be for the ratings and how it’s going to make people watch the show.

Benoit says Scott Hall isn’t standing in the way of getting to the World Title.

Asya vs. Kimberly

Torrie is guest referee and wearing a bikini. Well at least they’re not hiding what they’re doing anymore. Asya and Torrie get in a lame catfight until Kimberly jumps on Asya’s back with a sleeper. The Animals come out to cover Torrie up and get her out of there. Cue David Flair with the crowbar and wearing a referee shirt, sending Kimberly running off. David and Asya fight with David shrugging off a low blow but the Revolution comes out to clear the ring. So a minute long non match had two guest referees (I guess?), and I believe five people interfering?

Sting is given some flowers with a card from Luger. Liz and Luger are shown hoping that he likes them, but Sting doesn’t think he can trust them.

Goldberg has a chilled beverage.

Kimberly runs from David.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Chris Benoit vs. Scott Hall

Bret Hart comes out to be in Benoit’s corner to counter Nash. So he’s Hogan to Nash’s Andre? Hall throws the toothpick at him and finds it hilarious. That earns him some fluid from Benoit’s nose and they trade some arm holds. Now Hall wants the test of strength, only to pock Benoit in the eye. That’s fine with Chris who trips Hall down and dropkicks him in the side of the head.

The Outsiders have a breather on the floor as this might be the longest match we’ve seen in Russo’s Era without any shenanigans. Back in and they trade chops in the corner with Benoit taking over and getting two off a snap suplex. Nash can’t help it any longer and nails Benoit in the back of the neck, allowing Scott to nail a clothesline for two. Scott gets into his routine and the fall away slam is good for two.

We hit the sleeper on the Canadian but Chris suplexes out to put both guys down. Benoit fights up and plants Hall with a backbreaker before dropkicking him to the floor. Nash goes after Benoit but Hart makes the save. In the melee, Sid comes in and powerbombs Hall, setting up the Swan Dive for two. Nash makes another save but Benoit Crossfaces Hall to go to Mayhem.

Rating: B-. Here’s the interesting thing about the match and the key to the whole idea: the fans reacted when Sid came in and laid Hall out. Now why is this time different from all the other matches ending with interference? For me it’s one simple reason: they allowed the match to build up before doing the angle. The only thing out of the ordinary was a single clothesline from Nash, which is minor by comparison. It’s a good match on its own and the angle is far more acceptable when they have a good build to get there. This is the Russo style that worked in the WWF because it had the time to work, though that’s not the case in WCW.

Bagwell says Jarrett isn’t going over him.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Kidman

Rey gets in on commentary. Bret takes him down with an elbow to the back of the head and nails a hard clothesline as this is looking one sided so far. Kidman slips out of a slam so Bret catapults him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and a Bodog gets two on Bret but we’ve got Outsiders. They hit on the robed Torrie but Eddie goes over for the save as Rey cheers him on from commentary. Back inside, Bret counters a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but at least Bret didn’t crush Kidman. It also helped that they kept things moving quick enough and the interference didn’t really change much. Mysteiro was kind of a jerk but the Animals are the worst face group in the history of wrestling so it’s understandable.

Luger and Liz get some brownies. We’re approaching bad sitcom territory.

Jeff Jarrett is the chosen one.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

They fight on the floor with Buff taking over and heading inside. Bagwell uses his standard offense including a good dropkick and an atomic drop until Creative Control comes out for a distraction. It doesn’t work immediately though as Buff nails a powerslam, but the referee stops to tie his shoe. Creative Control comes in and breaks up the Blockbuster, only to have Buff nail the other with Jeff’s guitar. The referee just can’t stop looking at his shoes though and Jeff nails the Stroke for the pin from the suddenly alert referee.

Jeff and the referee hug because we needed an angle on a match that didn’t break 130 seconds. Dustin Rhodes comes out for the save and celebrates with the loser.

Goldberg headbutts a Surge machine and gets a free drink.

Liz and Luger put laxatives in the brownies.

The Revolution is ready for the House of Pain match, but Saturn wants to talk about Everlast boxing gear and the music video for Jump Around. Saturn asks Dean to jump for him and staring abounds. I could get into this new character.

Duggan intercepts the brownies and says he deserves something like this.

Eddie Guerrero/Konnan vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

This is a House of Pain match, meaning it’s inside a cage and you win by handcuffing both opponents to the ropes. Saturn superkicks Konnan before he can get inside, leaving Eddie to get double teamed. Tony cuts Heenan off and goes on a rant about internet marks thinking they can do his job. Oh I don’t know Tony. I’ve seen a lot of internet marks that can sound every bit as stupid as you do.

The Revolution double teams Guerrero in the corner and pretty easily gets him most of the way chained up. Konnan comes in with some shots of his own but eats a spike piledriver. They complete shackling Eddie and Konnan gets the same just a few seconds later. Total time of a pretty big gimmick match like this: 2:57.

Rey comes in and gets laid out by a clothesline from Asya. The Revolution hangs him upside down from the top of the cage by the knee, allowing Malenko and Saturn to just destroy Rey’s leg. His next match won’t be until May. Well that explains why he didn’t help Eddie earlier.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Total Package vs. Sting

The winner gets Bret on Sunday. Luger (the announcers have forgotten the whole DON’T CALL HIM LEX LUGER schtick already) hides in the corner to start as he thought Sting would eat the brownies. Sting kicks him in the allegedly injured leg and stomps Lex down in the corner to take over. He takes it to the floor and stays on the leg (Luger: “HELP ME BOBBY!”) before Lex gets inside to hide in the corner. An atomic drop does nothing to Sting but a clothesline gives Luger his first advantage.

Tony starts talking about how Sting and Luger have been friends for years in this sport before correcting himself by calling it a business. The Stinger Splash connects but Luger trips the referee while in the Scorpion. Liz maces Sting and the Torture Rack goes on, only to have Meng come out for a Tongan Death Grip (revenge for getting maced last week) to Luger. Meng puts Sting on top to send him to Mayhem.

Rating: D-. I’m getting tired of giving these matches the same grades over and over but they keep being the same bad, only slightly watchable matches with some kind of interference and overbooked finishes. This was in the same category as it wasn’t long enough to go anywhere but the guys know each other well enough to sleepwalk to a few acceptable moments.

Here are the final four:

Bret Hart

Sting

Chris Benoit

Jeff Jarrett

Jim Duggan feels the effects of the brownies.

Kevin Nash vs. Sid Vicious

Street fight. As has been the case almost all night, they start brawling in the aisle with Nash taking it into the crowd and hitting Sid low. They head back over the barricade and Nash hits the framed elbows in the corner. A quick clothesline sends Sid to the floor but he hits Nash low to take over again.

Back in and Sid slams Nash down and drops a leg for two. A leg between Nash’s legs is our third low blow in four minutes. Sid calls for the powerbomb as the fans call for Goldberg. Cue Hall to break up the powerbomb and the Outsiders go after Sid. Goldberg comes out to clean house and the bell rings for a no contest in a street fight.

Rating: D-. So now we can’t even get a finish in a match designed to not have a clean finish? I guess we’re setting up some kind of a tag match in the future, but that hasn’t been announced for Mayhem or any other show. On top of that, it would mean ignoring the months of Sid vs. Goldberg, which is one of those things in wrestling that always drives me insane. I’m sure in this WCW though, it’s cutting edge TV.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the thing: for probably the first time since Russo took over, this show felt like it had a point. They have most of the big stuff set for Mayhem and gave you a reason to check out the show. That alone puts it ahead of almost anything else WCW has done in weeks. However, that brings us to the problem with the show.

Other than Hall vs. Benoit, this was one of the worst wrestling shows I’ve seen in a very long time. The wrestling ranged from too short to mean anything to just flat out bad. However, it did have the best match Nitro has offered in weeks which somehow makes this a better show. I hate to say it, but this bad show is somehow an improvement.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #213
Date: November 8, 1999
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 8,134
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

With less than two weeks to go until Mayhem, we have a long stretch of tournament matches to still get through. The question now is can any match break ten minutes. I don’t remember the last time we reached that point, but it’s a very rare sight in Russo Land. Hopefully things start to make a bit more sense but I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Let’s get to it.

We open in the production truck with Sid telling a production guy to play a tape when he gives him a cue.

Here’s Sid in the arena with something to say. I can’t see this ending well. The Outsiders think he’s dumb, but he’s not as dumb as he looks. This brings him to Goldberg, who quit at Halloween Havoc. The tape is cued up and we see Goldberg beating on Sid as Sid shouts I QUIT. That’s it. Seriously, that’s it. This brings out the Outsiders with Hall carrying the US Title.

Wait a minute. Hall took the belt from Sid, who wasn’t champion when he took it from Bret. So does that make Bret Bad News Barrett, Sid R-Truth and Hall Dean Ambrose? Suddenly my life makes so much more sense. (That’s a Wrestlemania XXXI reference if you’re reading this ten years from now).

Hall brings up beating Sid last week but Sid says Hall was supposed to lay down. Hall doesn’t lay down for anyone, because that’s how the Kliq works. Nash wants Sid to call out Bret, but Hart saves Sid the trouble. Apparently Bret thinks Goldberg is the real US Champion and he’s going to give Goldberg his belt back tonight. Cue Goldberg to spear Sid and challenge him to an I Quit match. Goldberg also challenges the Outsiders to a game of hide and seek. They hide, he seeks and destroys. Isn’t that the name of Sting’s theme song?

Here are the updated brackets. Sting and Luger have both advanced due to injuries.

Bret Hart

Perry Saturn

Norman Smiley

Kidman

Total Package

Sting

Chris Benoit

Madusa

Scott Hall

Lash Leroux

Buff Bagwell

Vampiro

Curt Hennig

Jeff Jarrett

That is one lame tournament.

Sting isn’t sure he can trust Luger and thinks Lex has a lot of splaining to do.

Luger and Liz arrive in Indiana Pacers gear and try to sneak into the building without being noticed. The camera on them doesn’t help this.

We look at Kimberly running David Flair over last week.

Kimberly arrives and tells Doug Dillinger that David has been harassing her all week. So why is she here? Dillinger gives her extra security.

Kevin Nash has his security license and that’s all we hear as we go to commercial mid sentence.

The Filthy Animals are in the ring for all their sex based catchphrases because Russo thinks they’re like DX. The insults bring out the Revolution, with Dean challenging Rey to a mixed tag with Torrie and Asya. Rey says it’s on.

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Norman Smiley vs. Kidman

Norman is officially Screamin Norman Smiley. As he comes to the ring, Tony announces Hall vs. Sid vs. Hart vs. Goldberg in a Texas tornado ladder match for the US Title. This would be different from all those ladder matches where you have to tag. Since Norman is hardcore now, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart come out for commentary. Kidman rips off the helmet Norman is wearing and it’s fighting time.

Norman can’t quite take his gloves off though so Kidman takes him to the ropes for a spanking, only to get kicked low. Something like an inverted powerbomb gets two on Kidman and Norman does his spanking (what is with Russo’s obsession with spanking?) dance while Kidman screams for Torrie. There are so many connotations there, I don’t know where to start. Knobbs sneaks in with a hockey stick to lay out Norman, giving Kidman the pin in barely two minutes.

To recap, Kidman is now in the final eight of the World Title tournament after needing the help of Brian Knobbs to defeat Norman Smiley in a two minute match that saw both men being spanked. This is the brilliant Vince Russo’s grand solution to Rock, HHH, Austin, Angle, Undertaker and company.

Sting searches for Luger.

David Flair is lurking around with his crowbar.

Kevin Nash is getting a rainbow turban put on. Nash as the Grand Wizard would be….well it would be stupid actually.

Here’s an angry Sting to call out Luger. He gets Liz instead, who, after tripping on the ramp because of her heels, says that Luger would never do anything to hurt their cherished friendship. Sting puts his arm around her and says she can be the female Total Package. Now Luger comes out and says he’s here in friendship and apologizes for what happened last week. Sting chokes him against the ropes and says he’ll rip his throat out if that ever happens again. As we’ve known for years, Sting can be a bit of a psycho.

Kimberly goes into her dressing room when the lights go out. David Flair’s voice says she won’t feel a thing. What am I even watching anymore?

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Chris Benoit vs. Madusa

Madusa actually puts on a hammerlock but Benoit calmly brushes it off. He tells her to leave and talks to the referee but Madusa fires off some kicks and a hurricanrana. That’s it for Benoit as he rips off a chop to put Madusa on the mat. Cue Evan Karagias to get in a fight with referee Johnny Boone, who easily holds his own against Evan. Jeff Jarrett runs in and lays out Benoit for the DQ, because this isn’t the WWF and we don’t hit women.

Madusa freaks out on Jarrett for costing her a shot at the title.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes in to ask the Powers That Be for his opportunity for winning the battle royal on Thunder. Russo tells him that the opportunity around here is selling Amway, so get out of his office. So yeah, no reward and the battle royal was a waste of time.

Jim Duggan is cleaning toilets.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Disco Inferno

Steiner is defending and Disco is Cruiserweight Champion. A quick Steinerline sends Disco to the floor, where the kid who has been hanging around Disco is carrying a bucket. He’s officially named Tony Marinara and says he’s been carrying Glenn since they were kids. Tony says he wants his money and it turns out the bucket is full of concrete. Rick takes it away and hits Disco in the head with it, setting up a German suplex for the pin. We’re getting a mafia angle aren’t we?

Nash is indeed the Grand Wizard of Wrestling and has powder, chloroform and brass knuckles. He and Hall are ready for Sid and they have riot police following them around.

We see the Nitro Girls finalists do a mini routine until AC Jazz comes out and throws out all the Nitro Girl wannabes. They’re skanks and various other insults so here’s Spice to call AC a ho, triggering a fight. Who looks at the Nitro Girls and says they need a story? Who looks at the Nitro Girls and says they need to exist actually?

Kimberly is hiding in the boiler room. David is there with her and says his master needs another bride. In case you’re wondering, we’ve had about five and a half minutes of wrestling time so far but this is the third or fourth bit about these two.

Here’s Dustin Rhodes as Seven for his debut promo. With the floor covered in smoke, he flies to the ring with the help of some not very well covered wires. “I want everyone here to take a good long look at this crap I’m in.” He rants about leaving the WWF because of gimmicks like Goldust, which completely sucked. It nearly ruined his wrestling career and he wanted to come back home and just be Dustin Rhodes. The Powers That Be think Dustin is boring though, so he’s dressed up as Uncle Fester. “My new name is Seven by the way.”

He won’t have any of this or Goldust and they know where they can shove it. Last week, WCW fired Dusty Rhodes so now his mission is to make the Powers That Be, WCW and TNA all suffer the consequences. You will never forget the name of Dustin Rhodes. To recap, Russo came up with this character and now has written a promo where he calls it stupid. He’s already bored of burying the talent so he’s going to bury himself I guess.

David is still on the hunt.

Luger and Liz have a plan to make up with Sting.

Sting vs. Goldberg

Just a match and Goldberg’s first match of the night. After a two minute entrance, Goldberg slugs Sting up against the ropes but gets caught in a sleeper. Cue Luger and Liz as the referee goes down. They mace Sting (clearly intentional) and it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the pin in 2:13. These two should have been the biggest match all year and Russo has run it twice in fifteen days in 5:21 total. That’s borderline criminal. Also, in case you have hope for the future, this is their last singles match ever.

And now, after that huge match, the Outsiders offer Sid the riot squad when Rick Steiner comes up and demands Sid make time for him tonight. So Rick is the clingy ex?

Luger and Liz see Duggan mopping floors and steal his “wet floor” sign.

Kimberly finds a security guard and, say it with me, it’s David Flair. What happened to the extra guards she was given earlier?

Vampiro is now a full on member of the Misfits. Well sweet goodness I totally want to watch the show, buy the merchandise and order the pay per views now. This totally changes my perspective on the company and wrestling as a whole and I can’t put into words how excited I am to have seen this thrilling turn of events.

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

The Misfits jump Bagwell during his entrance and the referee has no issue ringing the bell during a 5-1 beatdown. Vampiro takes him inside for a running clothesline but completely misses a top rope flip attack. Bagwell fights off all of the Misfits but the referee gets poked in the eye and Vampiro hits a missile dropkick. I don’t see why we needed a ref bump for that but I’m still reeling from the announcement that Vampiro has joined the Misfits so I probably missed the subtext. Berlyn comes down and nails Vampiro with a chain, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin. Five people, a ref bump and a chain. Match time: 82 seconds.

The Bodyguard beats up the Misfits post match. Creative Control comes up and beats Berlyn down as well. As terrifying as this is to me, I’m starting to understand these stories.

Luger is on the bathroom floor holding his knee. After a break, the EMT says there’s nothing wrong with it.

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Bret Hart vs. Perry Saturn

Bret’s knee seems to be fine and Shane Douglas is on commentary. Hart goes after the arm first but gets caught by a forearm to the face. Saturn gets smart and kicks at Bret’s recently injured knee which Bret quickly remembers to sell. A t-bone suplex drops Bret but he avoids the Lionsault. Must be the Canadian instinct.

We hit the Five Moves of Doom (Shane: “I’ve seen this before!”) but Asya distracts the referee as Bret puts on the Sharpshooter. Shane gets up and hits him in the head with a cast, setting up the Death Valley Driver for a surprising kick out. Saturn throws him outside so Malenko can get in some cheap shots but Benoit runs out for the save. Bret gets thrown back in but escapes a sunset flip and puts on the Sharpshooter for the win to advance.

Rating: C-. Another potentially good match ruined by too much overbooking. Hart kicking out of the Death Valley Drive surprised me a bit, even though I know how this tournament ends. The bad side of that is I fully expected there to be a screwy finish if Bret was eliminated because that’s the standard operating procedure around here these days: be screwy for the sake of being screwy.

Kimberly asks Creative Control for a meeting with the Powers That Be.

Nash does Johnny Carson’s Carnac bit, meaning he gives the answer to a question and then reads the question. The answer is 316 and the question is how many times Undertaker and Austin have worked a pay per view against each other. Oh get over yourselves WCW. That shouldn’t be hard given how low you are in the ratings.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He’s alone this week as Stevie Ray has been suspended. Booker has three things on his mind: Jeff Jarrett and Creative Control. He wants all three of them out here right now for a Harlem street fight.

Booker T. vs. Creative Control/Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sits on commentary because Creative Control can handle Booker on their own. Booker backdrops one of them to the floor and forearms the other so Jarrett comes in with the guitar for a threat, allowing Creative Control to hammer on Booker. Cue a woman who looks like a black Chyna….and gets hit with a guitar a few seconds after she gets in. That’s the end of the so called match as Jarrett and Creative Control walk out.

The Powers That Be tell Luger that he has to face Sid or he’s out of the tournament.

Asya/Dean Malenko vs. Torrie Wilson/Rey Mysterio

Torrie is in a swimsuit top, the bottom half of a dress and very high heels. She tries to take the dress off but Rey stops her for some reason. Asya handcuffs Torrie to the ring five seconds in and Rey gets double teamed. Torrie was really that big of a threat? A suplex gets two and it’s off to Malenko for two more off a clothesline but Rey comes back with a one legged dropkick. He knocks Asya off the apron but Dean kicks him in the knee, only to get sent hard into Asya. Rey misses the Bronco Buster, setting up the Cloverleaf for another fast ending.

The Animals come in for the save as Tony says this was a grand plan. There was nothing grand about this Tony. Well except Torrie.

Kimberly goes into the shower and David is waiting for her. Good grief just leave the arena already. Then again David seems to have superpowers tonight so it might not matter.

Sid Vicious vs. Total Package

Liz wheels Luger down and Lex says his knee is too banged up to compete, but he’ll be fine for the tournament match next week. This brings Sting out to beat Luger up and throw him in to face Sid. Sid hammers away but has to move Liz to get at Luger again. Luger actually sells the knee (still wrapped in ice) as Sid stomps on it. A big boot puts Luger down and the riot squad comes out. They stop an invading Goldberg, then step aside so he can come in and spear both guys for the no contest, even though it should have been a DQ on Luger since Goldberg got speared first.

Brian Knobbs vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Hardcore of course and the winner will face Norman Smiley for the Hardcore Title. Norman comes down to do commentary and asks if Bigelow has dental insurance because he’s been missing that tooth for years. He’s already the funniest commentator this company has. After some trashcan shots they fight into the back with Norman playing Road Dogg as roving commentator.

They knock each other into a wall and Norman wants to know where Doug Dillinger is when you really need him. Knobbs hits Bigelow with a chair and drives him through a table as Norman screams a lot. Kimberly shows up and has Bigelow come with her, meaning Knobbs wins by countout. Backstage. In a hardcore match. This was a way for Kimberly to get some protection but Norman continues to be hilarious.

Norman beats up Knobbs and Jimmy and throws them in trashcans.

Kimberly and Bam Bam Bigelow are looking for David. Bigelow: “If you want to pick on a girl, pick on me!”

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Scott Hall vs. Lash Leroux

Nash is with Hall and in the Grand Wizard garb. The riot guard is with them as well to really overbook things. Heenan thinks the guest referee for the ladder match is going to be from another organization. We start with a toothpick throw and Lash is tossed into the corner. Hall drives in the shoulders and puts on an armbar to slap Lash in the back of the head. Back up and Lash scores with some forearms and a dropkick as Tony is really putting Lash over. The Outsiders have a meeting on the floor and Nash offers chloroform.

Back in and Scott offers a test of strength and pokes Leroux in the eye. Tony talks about the tournament and Heenan says he sounds like Dick Vitale. Tony: “Really?” Heenan: “No.” A chokeslam sets up the Giant imitation, because it makes sense to mock someone who left nine months ago. Tony tries to cover for him by saying it’s climbing a ladder, which is better than most ideas he’s had before.

Hall puts on an abdominal stretch and lifts Lash’s leg to make it even worse. As Lash makes his comeback, Tony promises a recap of everything that’s happened earlier in the night. The fact that that’s a featured attraction tells you how messy this show has been. Hall stops the comeback with a discus punch and the fallaway slam. The Outsider’s Edge is good for the pin.

Rating: C. You know what? This wasn’t half bad. Maybe it’s my shock that they had a match end clean, but this was a totally acceptable six minute (longest of the night) match. It’s nothing great and nothing I’ll think about by the time this show is over, but this was such a nice change of pace from the other “matches” all night that it was pretty entertaining.

Nash calls the riot squad into the ring and one of them is Goldberg. You can figure the rest out for yourselves. Before the double spear, Nash tries to throw powder in Goldberg’s face. I’m sure Nash had a plan to get it past the helmet and visor.

Recap of Hennig having to avoid getting pinned to keep his job. We still have no idea why this stipulation has been put into place.

WCW World Title Tournament Second Round: Curt Hennig vs. Jeff Jarrett

Hennig jumps him in the aisle to start and they head inside with Jeff grabbing a quick small package for two. They head right back outside for a slugout with Jeff going after the knee as is his custom. Cue Creative Control to watch from the stage as Hennig kicks out of a Figure Four attempt.

Curt fights back and naturally we get a ref bump. You can feel the ratings triple as fans just know the referee has gone down in a five minute match and the excitement cannot be contained! The PerfectPlex doesn’t matter because no one is there to count, allowing Creative Control to beat Curt down. They slam him through the announcers’ table and it’s a countout, meaning this stupid angle MUST CONTINUE!

Rating: D+. Somehow this might have been the second best match of the night. I’m already getting bored of telling Russo that there’s no need to have a match this overbooked when you have two talented guys in there, but this was more of the same problems over and over again. Boring match but at least they had some time to set something up.

Jeff gives Curt the Stroke post match.

Here are the updated brackets:

Bret Hart

Kidman

Sting

Total Package

Chris Benoit

Scott Hall

Buff Bagwell

Jeff Jarrett

Kimberly comes to the ring and says she’s tired of running from David, so come get her. This brings out David but Bam Bam Bigelow jumps him. David hits him low and gets in a crowbar shot though, sending Kimberly running away again.

Post break, Kimberly is trying to get in her car with David Flair behind her. She drops her keys but gets in anyway, only to have David break out a window. Creative Control comes up and chases him off, saying the Powers That Be will see her now. Why she hasn’t CALLED THE FREAKING POLICE all night is never made clear.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg vs. Bret Hart vs. Scott Hall

Ladder match with Goldberg defending. During the entrances, Tony recaps the evening and my goodness it sounds even worse. Hall and Sid start fighting before the other two get there and it’s clear that Sid could easily reach up and pull down the title without a ladder. Bret and Goldberg come in with no music as we’re reminded about the special referee. We could also use a ladder, so here comes Nash with a ladder and a referee’s shirt.

Goldberg and Hall slug it out in the aisle and we’re told it’s Kimberly vs. David Flair at Mayhem. So it’s Kimberly vs. a man stalking her and potentially trying to rape her earlier. No, of course Russo doesn’t have issues with women. All four get inside as the fans chant for Goldberg but they get Rick Steiner instead. He plants Sid with the bulldog and slugs it out with Goldberg. Hart pulls down the belt but Nash hits him in the bad leg with a pipe and picks up the belt. Hall climbs one rung and is handed the belt to make him the champion.

Rating: D-. Why did I expect anything else here? It was an overbooked ladder match and that’s the best idea they could come up with, but at least Hall is the champion now and….what exactly does that change? Nothing of course, because titles mean nothing in this company and are nothing more than a plot point. That’s one of those Russo ideas that has stayed around, despite the fact that it’s rarely made things even better.

Overall Rating: F+. At what point did this stop being a wrestling show? Somewhere recently this turned into a bunch of direct to video movies spliced together. Kimberly was all over this show more than the Filthy Animals had been recently, which makes for good scenery but some STUPID moments. She had no reason to be there tonight as she quit the Nitro Girls and Page is allegedly hurt, but she showed up for the sake of the plot. Bad show with some watchable matches when they were given time, but we needed more shenanigans with Luger’s knee or Kimberly being stupid. Standard WCW fare in other words.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #212
Date: November 1, 1999
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 8,362
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s still tournament time and tonight we get the other half of the first round. Some of the matches were already announced on Thunder, but I’d actually be surprised if they remembered those matches after four days. Other than that I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of the Filthy Animals vs. the Revolution, which hopefully means more of Torrie. Let’s get to it.

The Outsiders are drinking in their locker room when Bret comes in to yell at them for interfering last week. They handed him the US Title but Bret wants them to stay out of his business. You can see it coming from here.

After the usual intro, here’s Bret on crutches with something to say. He’s seen the tape from last week (now there’s something you don’t hear every day) and doesn’t want to be associated with screwjobs. As far as he’s concerned, Goldberg is still the US Champion. This brings out Sid to say it’s his because he has proof Goldberg said he quit at Halloween Havoc. They tell each other to screw themselves but here are the Outsiders to break up a powerbomb. Nash hands Sid the belt but tells him to go to the back. They yell at Bret as this is already confusing.

There’s a cage above the ring.

Here are some more brackets for the tournament.

Chris Benoit

Dean Malenko

Madusa

Evan Karagias

Scott Hall

Sid Vicious

The Cat

Lash Leroux

Buff Bagwell

Stevie Ray

Vampiro

Berlyn

Disco Inferno

Curt Hennig

Booker T.

Jeff Jarrett

Double Madusa. Oh joy.

Saturn and Torrie arrive on a motorcycle but Asya is right there to prevent her from running off. That’s one of the more logical things I’ve seen on this show in weeks.

Quick look back at Savage’s speech last week about finding someone to hand the torch to.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Vampiro vs. Berlyn

Berlyn takes him down with a headlock to start but Vampiro does the same to him. In a match between two people who could be World Champion, the announcers talk about Torrie. Back up and Berlyn scores with a kick to the ribs but charges into a powerslam for no cover. Cue the band the Misfits to surround the ring as Berlyn hits a spinwheel kick. Vampiro kicks him down as well but the referee gets bumped. The bodyguard comes in with his loaded glove but the Misfits take him out, allowing Vampiro to hit him with a chair. Vampiro dives into a dropkick but the Misfits trip Berlyn to give Vampiro the pin.

Rating: D. Someone take away Russo’s caffine. It’s a four minute and eleven second match but there was a ref bump (I’ll go low and say the first of three tonight) and FIVE people interfering. I’m fine with Vampiro pinning Berlyn, but you can easily do the same thing and get to the same post match stuff with WAY more extra stuff. Does Russo really think fans aren’t going to stick around for this match if the Misfits and the bodyguard don’t interfere during a ref bump? I know he’s delusional but come on.

Post match Berlyn says screw this character and walks off.

Kevin Nash says he can’t be Scott Hall’s manager tonight so he’ll be his promoter instead.

Shane Douglas has Torrie in a cage because that’s how you treat filthy animals. “Is this how Billy likes it?”

After a recap of the Revolution kidnapping Torrie last week, here’s the Revolution for a chat. Shane calls out the Filthy Animals because he has an offer for them. Saturn has the key to the cage, so he challenges Eddie for…….wait for it…….you know it’s coming……..A KEY ON A POLE MATCH!!! I’m stunned it took Russo this long to get to one. Malenko rips on Benoit so here’s Chris to say we should make their match a cage match. And thank goodness there’s one above the ring.

Kevin Nash is in a makeup chair.

The Filthy Animals aren’t allowed into the building so they beat up the security guards.

Mike Tenay is in the back with the Nitro Girls. Kimberly says Page is so injured that she has to leave the team to take care of him.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: The Cat vs. Lash Leroux

The now blond Miller is here against doctor’s orders though the injury isn’t specified. He slaps Lash in the face to start and punches his way out of a sunset flip attempt. Somehow being injured has really opened up his offense. Lash Irish whips him across the ring, Miller’s knee gives out, Lash grabs a basic leg lock and Cat gives up. This didn’t even last a minute and the announcers were too busy talking about Nash’s makeup to notice the match until it was over.

Hart says either the Outsiders or Sid are going to pay.

AC Jazz and Spice argue over who is going to lead the Nitro Girls. Why do they need a leader? Ah that would be because EVERYTHING HAS TO BE AN ANGLE around here.

The Filthy Animals are filming Luger and Elizabeth, with the former wanting to know what Elizabeth is going to do to help in his matches. The audio is out of sync and the camera crew is shown directing the scene. I’m assuming this is more breaking the fourth wall, but it might be something a bit better, like horrible production and not knowing how to run a show.

Larry Zbyszko has gone to Scott Steiner’s house to talk about Scott’s recent back surgery. Scott hurt his back about a year ago and then a shoulder injury made it even worse. The medicine didn’t help so he had surgery and starts rehab in 21 days. This didn’t mean much but an update is nice.

The Nitro Girls get in a fight during their routine. My goodness just let them be cheerleaders.

Tenay tells Buff Bagwell that the Powers That Be have a new surprise for him. Buff says that’s two for him and zero for them.

Nash is on the phone.

We recap the Nitro Girls fighting. Wrestling? Anyone? Soon perhaps?

They fight again in the back. Egads that’s four segments in the first hour. Add “patience” to the list of words Russo doesn’t know.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Buff Bagwell vs. Stevie Ray

Wait, this isn’t ready to go yet either. Stevie says the Powers That Be have made this a strap match. He chokes away in the corner as Heenan thinks Nash’s makeup reminds him of a former employer. We’re getting Kevin McMahon aren’t we? More choking ensues until Buff throws him over the top to hang Stevie. Cue the Harris Brothers to jump Buff and that’s a DQ. So the Powers want to screw with Buff by having him advance in the tournament?

Buff gets away so they go after Stevie, only to have Booker come out for the save.

Jeff Jarrett is annoyed people still think he hit Elizabeth with a guitar. What’s funnier to me is that she hasn’t mentioned it yet.

Here’s Kevin Nash as Vince McMahon. I guess this is the long awaited response to the Billionaire Ted skits? Nash says he does everything for the fans in his best Vince voice, which really isn’t all that great. He’s the most powerful man in sports entertainment and he built this place single handedly. In a pre-emptive move tells the fans not to chant insults at him. He’s a billionaire due to the stock options but he categorically denies anything going on.

Here’s his future World Champion who he’ll push as a babyface until people are sick of him. He’s clean, he’s sober, he’ll work in the main event against Jeff Jarrett, and he has more than one catchphrase: Scott Hall. Scott brings Nash a wig and says he can’t follow this because the Powers That Be told him he’s gone if he has one more strike and he doesn’t want to burn bridges up north. Hall asks who picks out Vince’s clothes and thinks they’re from JC Penny. To all the boys in New York, the attitude is down here.

Hokey freaking smoke this was horrible. That’s in addition to being stupid, completely missing the point, ticking off the audience, and being the last thing they should be doing when they haven’t won a night in the ratings in a year now. The imitation wasn’t even funny, especially given that Vince is basically a walking cartoon character. How many of those jokes do they think the common fan understood? The worst part, I don’t think they care how many the fans understood, because this was just for the writers to laugh at and had nothing to do with the audience, because that’s what WCW is about these days.

Luger comes up to Meng and tells him that Jeff Jarrett is making fun of him in the back. I’m assuming this is about Liz getting attacked? Jeff has been giving out bananas because Meng likes them, so Luger gives Meng one. Meng eats the banana without peeling it. I could turn this show in as a psychology project and get an A just for finding something this insane.

Hennig isn’t going to retire anytime soon and will beat Disco tonight.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Curt’s dad Larry is in the crowd and hugs his son. Disco tries to get a hug as well but Curt nails him from behind and takes him inside for a nice running dropkick. Some chops put Disco on the floor where Larry gets in some shots of his own. Back in and Hennig charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a swinging neckbreaker from Disco. The offense goes nowhere but Disco blocks the PerfectPlex. Can we go back to the Larry stuff? The Chartbuster is blocked as well and Disco heads outside to talk to the yet to be named fan (ECW’s Tony Mamaluke)…..and gets counted out.

Rating: D-. And that man is a champion ladies and gentlemen. The best part of this match really was Larry Hennig getting a reaction from the crowd who remembers the days when wrestlers wrestled instead of imitating the owners of other promotions in not funny comedy bits. If there’s a reason behind this Curt gets fired if he loses bit, I’m not seeing it. Finally, there was no mention of Mamaluke being the same guy that used to be Lodi’s biggest fan.

The Filthy Animals want Torrie back and Konnan issues an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles.

Norman Smiley is wearing catching gear and dancing.

Nash is “getting into character. Get it?” It makes no more sense on screen.

Meng vs. Barbarian vs. Norman Smiley

Hardcore match. Apparently Madusa is back in the tournament because it wasn’t fair to have her fight Meng with no warning. Smiley is wearing the catcher’s gear to the ring which would eventually become football pads. The monsters fight in the corner but Meng stops to beat him up. Tony thinks this is hilarious. The former Faces of Fear double team Smiley with weapons shots until Barbarian hits Meng in the head with a mop. They do the same sequence again but with a trashcan instead of a mop.

Norman keeps trying to fight back but Meng knocks him into the corner and dropkicks Barbarian down. Meng takes off Norman’s catcher’s mask and knocks him to the floor where Jimmy Hart rips off the chest protector. Back to more double teaming of Smiley in the ring and a stretcher comes out to save Norman. However, it’s a ruse as Norman sees both guys down in the ring with Meng face first between Barbarian’s legs. Somehow that’s not a cover from Meng so Norman runs in to pin Barbarian.

Rating: D-. Oh for goodness’ sake. Somehow this match was the longest of the night at a whopping six minutes and thirty one seconds. I guess this is supposed to pass for comedy now as you have Norman go from nothing to being the hardcore idiot, which is better than what he was doing in theory. Somehow this is going to get even worse I’m sure, but just let it be shorter. Please?

Norman does the Big Wiggle on the announcers’ table.

Jeff Jarrett says it’s time for his public apology.

Jim Duggan talks to the Powers That Be and says he’s lost a kidney but he can have a bigger impact in the few years he has left than he’s had in the last twenty years. A voice (Russo) asks if Duggan is asking for an opportunity. That’s all Duggan wants, but Russo asks how that will help the ratings. He’ll think about it.

Sidebar for future reference: the only people who care about ratings are either people who work for a wrestling company or people with WAY too much time on their hands. Stop using them as a plot device, because almost no one knows or cares what the heck you’re talking about and it just sounds dumb. Wrestlers fight for championships or to settle scores, not for the ratings. Also, you lose the right to talk about ratings after that Nash skit earlier.

Hall and Nash are in the back and say if Sid gets screwed, it’s because Sid screwed Sid. Can we at least get a reference to something not almost two years ago?

Luger talks to Meng again but Meng doesn’t seem to understand.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett, who demands Luger come out here and apologize for accusing him of attacking Liz last week. Jarrett: “This isn’t the WWF and we don’t abuse women here.” Luger and Liz come out and admit that they’re not sure it was Jeff, so they’re sorry. However, Luger thinks it might have been Meng, who Jeff calls a giant ape. Cue Meng to chase Jarrett off, allowing Liz to mace Meng so Luger can beat on him with a tire iron. Couldn’t he have done this in the back? Or during the hardcore match when Meng was out cold? Too logical I’m guessing?

Sid doesn’t answer when the Outsiders knock on his door.

Luger asks Sting to team up with him to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Pole match with Torrie in a shark cage on a fork lift, wearing a dress cut lower than this show’s ratings. Eddie is on Saturn from the bell and takes him outside for a whip into the barricade. The early attempt at the key doesn’t work though as Saturn comes back in and suplexes Eddie instead. Eddie pops back up though and nails a SWEET springboard tornado DDT, but this time it’s Shane stopping the run for the key.

After a crash onto Kidman, Eddie runs back in to stop Saturn as I ask the obvious question: WHY ARE THEY CLIMBING A FREAKING POLE??? I know Russo hates wrestling but what’s up with the pole thing? Anyway Saturn superplexes Eddie down and plants him with a piledriver but drops a headbutt instead of going for the key. Eddie gets back up and sends him into the cage, where Torrie reaches through to choke Saturn. With the other Animals going holding back the Revolution, Eddie climbs the pole and (eventually since the pole is greased. Yes grease on a pole) gets the key.

Rating: D. I’m so glad we built up this story last week and blew it off with a five minute pole match instead of some big fight between the two groups to win Torrie’s freedom. Instead, Eddie climbed up the pole and got the key to the shark cage to get her off the forklift. Somehow, a week is a long build up for Russo. That sums up so many of his problems.

Torrie is freed and that’s that.

The Outsiders are in the back and “McMahon” tells Sid to trust him. Sid goes into a rant about getting screwed when he left the WWF so Nash takes off the wig and Sid starts laughing. For the far too many-th time tonight, what in the world are they talking about?

Luger is now focused on the Tag Team Title shot.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Sting/Total Package

Sting and Luger are challenging. Tony’s horrible sense of timing continues as he says last week’s 13 second Sting vs. Knobbs “match” was about two minutes long. Package starts by posing but Sting cleans house instead. We finally settle down to Kidman vs. Luger with Lex laughing at him until a dropkick puts him down. Luger tries to get up but grabs his knee. He crawls over to Sting for a tag as Konnan comes in to clean house. It’s so bad that Mysterio and Guerrero come in for the DQ beatdown of Sting. Another angle instead of a match.

The Animals destroy Sting and beat him down with the bat. So is Sting back to being a face like he should have been all along? That might be the first thing Russo has gotten right. The Animals leave so Sting yells at Luger.

Hall says he’ll lay down for Sid tonight. Nash says he did these skits because he’s the only giant left (remember that he’s saying this to SID) and has no booking power.

Sting looks for the Animals, because somehow they’re a main event level group all of a sudden.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff goes after him in the aisle but the referee takes the guitar away, allowing Booker to come back with some right hands. They fight into the ring where Booker nails a spin kick and spinning forearm, only to get sent outside for some whips into steel objects. The Harris Brothers are on the stage as Jeff clotheslines Booker down and puts on a sleeper.

Booker escapes and hits his usual finishing sequence, only to have the bald guys throw in a guitar. With one of them offering a distraction, Jeff nails Booker with the guitar. Despite seeing the guitar come in, being maybe two weeks from the guitar hitting Booker in the head and DIVING OVER THE BROKEN PIECES, Robinson counts the pin.

Goldberg is on the set of Slam (the name of Ready to Rumble, even though Tenay used the name Ready To Rumble earlier in the night) and wants to kill Sid and the Outsiders.

The Nitro Girls are still fighting so Nash comes in and says save it for the pay per view.

Evan Karagias wants to be Madusa’s friend after their match tonight.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Madusa gropes him to start but then shoves his hat off. Evan grabs her from behind but rubs her legs. She lays down but Evan pulls her up, only to get kissed down to give Madusa the pin in another nothing angle disguised as a match.

David Flair talks to his crowbar.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

In a cage. Malenko (who got a jobber’s entrance. IN A CAGE MATCH?) chokes him down in the corner to start but Benoit comes back with shots to the ribs and a powerbomb, sending Malenko head first into the top of the cage for a bonus. Benoit chops away and dropkicks him into the cage, only to miss another dropkick so Malenko can catapult him into the steel.

A few battering rams send Benoit head first into the cage, but he escapes a third one and plants Malenko with a tombstone in a nice counter. Chris slits his throat and goes up, only to have Malenko pop up and superplex Benoit off the top. Cue Saturn with a chain, but Benoit intercepts the pass to Malenko and knocks Dean cold (like ice man). With no real need to other than to finally wake up the crowd, Benoit goes up top and nails a HUGE Swan Dive from the top of the cage for the pin.

Rating: C+. 90% of that is for the Swan Dive alone. Thankfully they let this have some time (four and a half minutes is time in Russo World) as Benoit and Malenko could have a good match in their sleep. I’m glad to see Benoit rising above the rest of the midcard and he deserves this more than Malenko (not that he doesn’t deserve a push of his own).

Cue the Revolution to chain Benoit to the cage. Before they can get much further though, the Filthy Animals come out for the save but David Flair comes out to crowbar all of them down. Konnan tries to get out but Sting comes in to beat him down. Patience Russo, patience. I assure you it won’t hurt anything and you can get all your nonsense in every week.

David Flair leaves and gets run down by a car. Kimberly gets out and pokes him before getting back in and driving away. I think the whiplash I’m getting from these fast angles is worse than whatever is wrong with David.

Nash is down in the back and says Bret did it. Russo trope: someone being down when we didn’t see the attack.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall

Sid has the US Title on. They talk trash until Sid pokes him in the chest to put Hall down. Sid covers but Hall tries a small package for two. The bigger guy is ticked off and pounds Sid against the ropes before getting two off a backbreaker. Sid chokes even more as the fans want Goldberg. The cobra clutch has Hall in trouble but Hall fights back with right hands. A chokeslam drops Hall again but the referee goes down because we need to fill the quota. Bret comes out and breaks his crutch over Sid’s back, allowing Hall to cover for the pin.

Rating: D-. At least the show is over and at least this story makes something resembling sense. The fact that I can map out the story from beginning to end and (if I ignore the Vince stuff) make sense of it tells me that it’s probably the best story on the show. Now if only we can get a match to go five minutes.

Hall gets the title to end the show.

Here are the updated brackets, assuming they don’t switch things up:

Bret Hart

Perry Saturn

Norman Smiley

Kidman

Total Package

???

Meng

Sting

Chris Benoit

Madusa

Scott Hall

Lash Leroux

Buff Bagwell

Berlyn

Curt Hennig

Jeff Jarrett

Overall Rating: D-. Yet somehow, this was a step in the right direction from last week. They cut down on some of the stupid stuff, but at the same time cranked up some of the other problems. The Vince McMahon stuff wasn’t funny, didn’t lead anywhere and seemed to be there to make Russo laugh. That MIGHT have gone over better today since Vince has basically turned into an insane man from time to time, but this was just one big inside joke that got TV time.

The wrestling sucked tonight but that goes without saying on a Russo show. This tournament is a mess, but next week will only (in theory at least) have half the matches of the first two weeks. Multiple tournament matches were turned into gimmick matches, because apparently I’ll care about Stevie Ray vs. Bagwell in a strap match.

At least there are a few stories taking shape, even if they’re not very good. Unfortunately for every Revolution vs. Filthy Animals, there’s a Buff Bagwell REAL LIFE story. These “shoot” stories are getting old fast but Russo seems to think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread (that would be sliced bread #1 in case that’s not clear). Horrible show this week and I see no reason to keep coming back, especially with two weeks before Mayhem.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

Here’s a pretty different show from last year. This is a double main event with a Taker vs. Shawn II and Cena vs. Batista II, the latter one being for the Raw Title. Other than that we have Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown Title and….uh….wait why would you need anything more than that? It’s Cena vs. Batista for the World Title at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Fantasia, I believe from American Idol, sings America the Beautiful. This is one of those renditions where she basically screams the song but it’s called soulful or something like that.

The opening video is about how several long careers have led here. Bret Hart is also back tonight in a match with Vince McMahon. This is one of the first times where there was a big push on the idea of making a Wrestlemania moment.

The theme song is I Made It by Kevin Rudolf. This one really grew on me over the years.

Tag Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

That would be Big Show and Miz as champions. If there’s one thing I’m glad we’ve moved passed, it’s portmanteau tag team names. Miz is also US Champion and the tag titles are still represented by all four belts. John and Miz start things off and there’s a fast dropkick for two by Morrison. Off to Truth for a guillotine legdrop for two more.

A big left hand misses for Miz and a side kick takes him down. Off to Big Show and Truth can’t do much against him, other than be caught in a fallaway slam. After Show knocks Morrison off the apron, John breaks up a Vader Bomb to put Show down. Off to Miz vs. Morrison again and a running knee takes Miz down. Starship Pain misses though and Show rams Truth into the post. John counters the Skull Crushing Finale into a rollup for two but Show makes a blind tag and knocks Morrison silly with the WMD to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t even three and a half minutes long so what else do you expect here? To be fair, Awesome Truth was thrown together and won the title shot in the same night so there wasn’t much of a reason for these teams to be fighting. The champions would lose the title in a month while the challengers would never really do anything.

We look at WWE taking over Phoenix.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

This is the final blowoff to the never ending Legacy story, with the young pups being mentored by Orton until the crowd turned Orton face by sheer willpower. This is his chance for revenge and to bury the feud once and for all. The place goes NUTS for Orton. Oh and before I forget: the set here is AWESOME as it’s set up like a big pyramid with video screens on all sides.

Orton fights them both off to start before bailing to the floor. This is a glorified handicap match in the early going. Orton gets Rhodes down on the floor and stomps away on DiBiase back inside. Cody gets back in though and the two on one beating is on, drawing really solid heat. Lawler says these stomps are like the ones Orton uses. Uh, yeah King. I can clearly see the similarities in kicking somebody.

Rhodes pounds away while Ted holds Randy back and there’s a double suplex. DiBiase does Orton’s pose which makes Randy punch Cody down, only to be clotheslined by Ted. Legacy goes High/Low on Orton and there’s a knee drop from Cody. Cody loads up the moonsault but has to stop to break up a pin attempt by DiBiase. Ted is sent to the floor and Cody gets two off an Alabama Slam.

Legacy goes at it and brawls to the floor and Orton gets back into things. He takes both guys down with his usual finishing sequence but DiBiase breaks up the RKO on Rhodes. Cody tries a dive but Orton sidesteps it, sending Rhodes into DiBiase. They come back in and walk into a double Elevated DDT, sending Orton into “that place.” With DiBiase watching, Orton Punts Rhodes and then counters Dream Street into the RKO for the pin on Ted.

Rating: C. The fans loved Orton but that’s about all they’ve got here. Legacy just lost a glorified handicap match in less than ten minutes as Orton never even seemed to be in danger. This would start a MEGA push for Orton as he would become the second biggest face in the company and spend the rest of the year chasing the world title. The pop for the RKO was really good here.

The heel Divas in the ten Diva tag later brag about how Vickie is going to win in her Wrestlemania debut. Jillian Hall, not on the team, pops in to sing. The other girls leave and here’s Santino to plug Slim Jims. He bites one and Jillian turns into Mae Young. Another turns Mae into Gene Okerlund in a strapless dress. A third bite makes Okerlund into Melina. No more bites. Ok then.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.

Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.

We get the Hall of Fame video from last night.

Here’s the live presentation to the crowd. The class this year is: Stu Hart (represented by his kids), Wendi Richter, Mad Dog Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Bob Uecker, Gorgeous George (represented by his wife) and Ted DiBiase (BIG ovation).

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. Sheamus was the next big thing in late 2009 and won the WWE Title. HHH beat him inside the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus revealed that he had always wanted to be like HHH. This led to Sheamus attacking HHH over and over again, setting up the obvious match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

I forgot to mention this big cylinder that hangs from the middle of the roof with a mini Tron video for whomever is coming out. They shove each other into the corner until HHH slugs Sheamus down into another corner. Back up and they pound away on each other with HHH taking over with a knee drop. They head to the floor for nothing of note so it’s back inside for a chop block and the Figure Four to Sheamus.

After quickly grabbing a rope, Sheamus comes back with more brawling stuff and sends HHH to the floor for a bit. The move which would become known as the Irish Curse hits and there’s a second one for good measure. We get into the standard pounding down in the corner by Sheamus followed by an ax handle to the head for two. Sheamus drops some elbows and puts on a quick chinlock before a powerslam gets two.

We hit an armbar of all things on the Game which shows off how different the skin tones of these guys are. HHH comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and a DDT for the same. Back up and the high knee sets up the facebuster for two but the Pedigree is countered with a leg trip. They fight to the corner but Sheamus slips between the legs to try the High Cross, only to be countered into the Pedigree. That gets countered as well and the yet to be named Brogue Kick gets two.

Back up again and HHH hits the spinebuster for two and both guys are down again. Sheamus staggers to the apron and manages a Brogue Kick from there but can’t cover. Back in and HHH grabs the Pedigree out of absolutely NOWHERE for the quick pin. That would be Sheamus’ first singles loss.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here with Sheamus looking more than good in his first Wrestlemania match. This was a good way to make the pale one look good and the win over HHH the next month at Extreme Rules would make that even better. Sheamus was definitely here to stay which would become very clear in the near future.

We recap Punk vs. Mysterio. Mysterio had cost Punk an MITB spot so Punk had set his sights on Mysterio in retaliation. Punk has been stalking Rey and his family for weeks now, leading up to Punk interrupting Rey’s daughter’s 9^th birthday by singing Happy Birthday to her. Punk made Mysterio look like a coward because Rey didn’t want to fight with his family in the ring with him. This led to the match and the stipulation that if Rey loses, he has to join the Straightedge Society.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has Serena and Luke Gallows (Doc from Aces and 8’s) with him. On the way to the ring, Punk gets on the crowd for being high on drugs which makes them think Mysterio is a superhero. Punk isn’t a monster but rather a savior who can lead everyone to a better place. After tonight, it will be one nation under Punk with sobriety for all. This year Mysterio is dressed like the aliens from Avatar which is rather different to put it mildly.

A Gallows distraction lets Punk take over but he gets sent face first into the middle buckl. Rey misses a charge and gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some solid stomping. A baseball slide misses Rey though and we get the Mr. Perfect sliding crotch into the post. Rey tries a rolling cradle to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the steps instead. We head back inside and it’s off to a chinlock by the guy whose face you can actually see.

Rey fights up but gets sent to the apron for a seated senton. A springboard seated senton is caught into a belly to belly and another counter into a rollup gets two. Punk counters a rana by flipping Rey onto his feet and hits the high kick for two. They grab a test of strength grip and Rey climbs the ropes and moonsaults into a DDT for two in a cool spot.

The 619 is caught into a GTS attempt but Rey escapes to the apron. A kick to Punk’s head looks to set up the frog splash but it only gets mat. That gets two for Punk but Rey headscissors him into 619 position. Serena makes the save but a second attempt connects and it’s a springboard splash for the pin for Rey.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but it wasn’t bad. These two would go on for months and the matches really did get to be solid stuff. Mysterio was always good for stuff like this and Punk as the straightedge messiah was always a cool gimmick. This really could have used another five minutes or so too.

We recap Bret vs. Vince. Do you REALLY need an explanation for this one? Bret returned back in January and Vince kicked him low. Bret wanted a fight and pretended to break his leg in order to get Vince to fight him at Wrestlemania. Vince signed, Bret took the cast off, and the match was made.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’re going to Atlanta for Wrestlemania 27. Cole says there’s going to be a great guest host for it. I know he couldn’t know that at the time, but man that’s some AWESOME unintentional foreshadowing.

There’s a new attendance record: 72,219. Wait it might not be a record. Why would this make a difference? Either way it gets a fireworks display, which doesn’t look great given that it’s still daylight.

We recap Edge vs. Jericho. They had been tag champions but Edge snapped an Achilles tendon and had to drop his share. Edge came back to win the Rumble and gets a title shot tonight. The idea was that Edge was obsessed with spearing Jericho which didn’t really work all that well. He did it over and over again until Jericho actually hit him during the charge. Why that was so hard beforehand I’m not sure.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho grabs a quick headlock to take Edge down but the challenger comes back with a flying shoulder. A flapjack puts Jericho down but he bails to avoid a spear. Back in and Jericho gets in a boot to the face and a baseball slide sends Edge out to the floor. A belly to back suplex gets two in the ring for Jericho and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and Jericho misses a charge into the post and Edge is to his feet again.

Jericho drops Edge ribs first onto the top rope and we head to the floor again. Edge comes back with a clothesline off the apron and we go back inside. Jericho crotches Edge as he goes up but Edge blocks a superplex. Back on the mat and Jericho can’t get the Walls but Edge can hit a top rope cross body, only to have Jericho roll through it for two. Another Walls attempt is broken up but Jericho kicks him in the face to put Edge down again.

The Codebreaker is countered but Jericho jumps over the spear into a cradle into the Walls in the middle of the ring. Edge rolls through that and hooks a small package for two but Jericho kicks him right back down. The Lionsault misses and Edge gets two off the Edge-O-Matic. An enziguri gets two for the champion and what I think was a forearm smash to the back of Edge’s head off the middle rope puts Edge down again. Jericho tries a spear of his own, only to charge into a big boot.

The real spear charges into a Codebreaker in an AWESOME counter. Since this is Wrestlemania though it only gets two so Jericho goes after the recently repaired ankle. Now the Walls are put on again but Jericho shifts it over to a half crab which is the smart move here. Edge FINALLY makes a rope and even gets a rollup for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor and as they head back in we lose the referee, allowing Jericho to hit Edge in the head with the belt for two. Not that it matters as the Codebreaker retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: B. Much like Mysterio vs. Punk, this really could have been something special with more time. Jericho winning was a big surprise here but it’s one of those things that I can more than live with after this very solid match. Edge not winning was a nice thing to see as it doesn’t just hand him another world title. Yeah imagine that: making people earn world titles. Swagger would cash in on Jericho on Smackdown two days later.

Post match Jericho tries to go after the ankle even more but Edge fights back and puts Jericho on the announce table. With a running start, Edge runs over two announce tables and spears Jericho off the table and through the barricade.

We look at the dark match battle royal, won by Yoshi Tatsu.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

Beth is in white here and man alive it REALLY works for her. She’s also a face here which is really rare. Vickie and Gail start with Kim getting shoved backwards. Vickie poses and when she turns around, it’s Beth. All the good girls take their turns on Vickie in the corner so she shouts at them. Michelle breaks up a pin by Kelly and we already begin the parade of finishers (Gail totally botches Eat Defeat), culminating with Beth ENDING Fox with the Glam Slam. Michelle saves Vickie from Beth with a big boot before putting Vickie on the top rope. The “Hog Splash” is enough to pin Kelly.

Rating: D. Laycool and Beth looked GREAT out there so it doesn’t fail for them. No one else was in there long enough to make much of an impression, but again it’s amazing how much better the Divas are at this point. They have personalities and actual emotions instead of just staring at cue cards and botching everything they do.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena survived the Chamber and won the title, but Vince pulled a New Year’s Revolution and made him immediately defend against Batista, which was payment for Big Dave helping out Vince recently. The result was a rematch for the title here at Wrestlemania. Do you need more than that?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

This is a rematch from Summerslam 2008. Cena’s big entrance this year is a full military honor guard. They lock up to start with the champion grabbing a quick headlock. John grabs one of his own and takes it down to the mat. That goes nowhere so Cena tries pounding away in the corner, only to have Batista clothesline him down. A running boot to the side of Cena’s head has him in more trouble and there’s a second for good measure.

The idea here is that Batista is going after Cena’s neck which he broke back in 2008. Cena comes back with a suplex and the bulldog for two but the AA is countered into a fast DDT for two. Off to a rear naked choke by Batista to crank on the neck even more. John fights up and they slug it out for the boo/yay chants. A quick neckbreaker gets two for the champion and it’s off to a front facelock on Cena.

A backdrop finally puts Batista down and there are the shoulder blocks to keep him down. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Batista pops up with his spinebuster to plant Cena. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and Batista is in trouble. He finally makes the rope and comes back with a spear for two before sitting Cena on the top. In a cool spot they have a test of strength on the top with Cena slugging Batista down to the mat. Cena busts out a top rope Shuffle but Batista grabs the rope to block the AA.

There’s the Batista Bomb out of nowhere but Cena is up at two. Batista loads up another but after a series of counters, Cena this a BIG release AA for two. Cena goes up top and dives right into a spinebuster which is the same move that resulted in his broken neck a year and a half ago. The Batista Bomb is countered into the STF though and after a long time, Batista taps away the title.

Rating: B+. These two know how to have the big time match. Cena winning was the right move to get his win back from a year and a half ago while also taking out Batista for what happened back in February. At the end of the day, it’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania. This had to be good by definition.

We recap Shawn vs. Taker. They had their masterpiece last year and Shawn became obsessed with beating Taker because he made one mistake. Shawn wanted a rematch and after superkicking Taker and costing him the world title in the Chamber, Taker said yes. There was a condition though: it was Streak vs. Career. Shawn said if he can’t win, there’s no reason for him to stay in the ring. There was no way this couldn’t main event the show, and with the match we just got done with, that says a lot.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

You can only win by pin or submission. They stare each other down and Shawn does the throat slit. Taker charges into some chops in the corner but Shawn is thrown into a Flair Flip in the corner, followed by snake eyes and the big boot. Old School is broken up a few times but the third try hits perfectly. The chokeslam is countered and Shawn goes after the leg. A quick Tombstone attempt is blocked and Shawn tries for the Crossface, only to be grabbed by the throat.

Taker grabs the arm as well but has to back away from Sweet Chin Music. Now Shawn is going after the knee and Taker is in trouble. Michaels goes for some stomps in the corner but the big man gets in an uppercut to send Shawn to the floor. Taker loads up the Dive but Shawn slides back in for a chop block. They head to the floor for Undertaker to take over with the apron legdrop. It hurts his leg again though and the big man can’t follow up.

Back in and Shawn takes out the leg again and there’s a Figure Four. Taker sits up and has them there crazy eyes…but can’t break up the hold. Scratch that as he can with pure power and Shawn lets it go. They slug it out on their feet again with Taker taking over with the strikes. Shawn comes back with the forearm and there’s the nipup. Unfortunately he walks into the chokeslam for a close two. Shawn busts out an ankle lock of all things and the grapevine is added as well.

Undertaker gets on his back and punches his way out of it but Shawn sends him to the floor. There’s a springboard cross body but Taker counters into a Tombstone on the floor. Shawn flailing to escape and then stopping cold was perfect. Back in and that somehow only gets two so Taker tries the Last Ride. The leg gives out again and Shawn counters into a kind of X-Factor for two. The big elbow hits knees, but that hurt Taker just as much as it hurt Shawn.

Michaels gets caught in Hell’s Gate but he flips forward into a rollup for two, making Undertaker break the hold. Back up again and there’s the superkick out of nowhere for two. Now Shawn tunes up the band but Taker catches it coming in and hits a full on Last Ride for two. Undertaker throws him to the floor and loads up the announce table. The Last Ride through the table is escaped and there’s a superkick to put Taker on the table. Shawn busts out a moonsault but mainly hits Taker’s legs. It would have looked great from a distance though.

Back in again and the superkick hits perfect but somehow only gets two. The fans are calling this awesome and I can’t say I’m arguing at all. Another superkick misses and there’s a big chokeslam. Taker can’t follow up though….until he plants Shawn with a Tombstone. THAT gets two and Taker is shocked. The Dead Man pulls the straps down but stops himself before doing the throat slit. Shawn pulls himself up on Taker’s body and does the throat slit himself, admitting that he can’t do it. Taker stares at him so Shawn slaps Taker in the face. That does it and it’s a jumping Tombstone to end Shawn’s career.

Rating: A+. That throat slit is as close to Shakespeare as WWE is ever going to get. Shawn going out in a masterpiece like this was as good as it was going to get and Undertaker gets to have another great match on his resume. Shawn has actually stayed retired which is the right move, because he’s not going to top this with one more match. It’s excellent even though it’s somehow a step below last year’s match.

Undertaker isn’t sure what to do now as the lights go out and 18-0 flashes on screen. Shawn still hasn’t moved. Taker helps Shawn up and they shake hands to a big ovation. Undertaker lets Shawn stand in the ring alone and soak up one last round of applause. Shawn slowly walks up the aisle and slaps hands. Shawn: “I’m going to drive my kids crazy in three weeks.” He walks to the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a very solid show for the most part with an excellent main event. On top of that you only have one bad match and that had Beth looking all hot in white. Other than that you have Batista vs. Cena and a good Edge vs. Jericho match. The rest of the card isn’t bad either, making this the third straight pretty solid Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+

Redo: C

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-

Redo: C+

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-

Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A

Redo: B+

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: B+

Dang and I liked it even better on the first view. I might have been closer to right a few years back.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/03/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-26-john-cena-vs-batista-do-you-need-more/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #211
Date: October 25, 1999
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 9,630
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re finally past Halloween Havoc and as usual with pay per views, a lot has changed. First up would seem to be Goldberg coming out as both United States and World Champion, but only the former is for sure. After Hogan laid down against Sting for no apparent reason, Goldberg beat the champ in an open challenge, which may or may not be for the title. Tonight we should find out what’s going on so let’s get to it.

A paintless Sting is walking through the back (I’m been skipping a lot of these segments as they’re literally just people walking) and shouting for JJ Dillon while throwing things all over the place.

Opening sequence.

Sting heads to the ring and calls out JJ Dillon, because last night he issued a challenge for a fight, not a title match. Dillon comes out and Sting repeats most of what he already said but throws in that he was trying to bail them out of a bad situation with Hogan. Why do I have a bad feeling that’s the extent of Hogan information tonight?. The title was never on the line, so Sting wants his belt back. JJ agrees that the title wasn’t on the line, because WCW never sanctioned that match. Therefore, the title is vacant due to Sting attacking the referee after the match.

Oh come on. That’s some very convenient enforcing of the rules given what half the roster gets away with on a regular basis. Also ignore the fact that it wasn’t even in a match so why should it have any impact on th…..never mind. I’m staying out of the quicksand that is WCW/Russo logic. There’s going to be a 32 man tournament and Sting can be a participant. That earns Dillon a beating until Goldberg comes out for the save.

Here are the brackets.

Bret Hart

Goldberg

Perry Saturn

Eddie Guerrero

Norman Smiley

Bam Bam Bigelow

Kidman

Konnan

Total Package

Rick Steiner

Diamond Dallas Page

David Flair

???

Madusa

Brian Knobs

Sting

I’m sure we’ll see the other half later, because I’m sure it’s completely prepared at this point. Also Madusa is now a man? JJ specifically said 32 MAN tournament.

The Outsiders are here with a cooler but Mike Graham comes up and tells them they have to wrestle tonight. Nash’s retirement isn’t addressed because that’s in the old regime or something.

Norman Smiley says last night’s match was amusing and thinks Bigelow is tough. Oh and he likes to dance. If Russo being in charge means more short interviews for people who don’t often get TV time, maybe he’s not all bad.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Norman is terrified so Bigelow decides this is going to be a hardcore match. Bigelow throws in weapons as Norman hides behind the referee, only to get hit in the head with a broom. He puts the trashcan on Norman’s head but Norman kind of headbutts him and falls with a low blow ala Sting. It’s time to dance before Norman quickly covers Bigelow for the pin. This was a mess and didn’t even break ninety seconds.

Hall and Nash are in the back and Nash says he can’t work. Hall says he can’t comment until the top of the hour. He won’t listen to Mike Graham either.

Recap of the Filthy Animals vs. Ric Flair.

Here are the Filthy Animals with Torrie sporting a shiny silver outfit that Kidman really seems to enjoy. Eddie talks about how WCW will never be able to break the team up. Now Ric Flair has been coming after them, so look at this tape to see what happened. The video show Ric being dragged away to what looks like the desert and being buried in sand. Egads this is really happening.

Kidman says Flair is done and Harlem Heat is next. Mysterio cuts him off from swearing and gives the mic to Konnan for some bad catchphrases, one of which involves the Filthy Animals being in heat. Cue Malenko and Saturn to destroy the Animals, but Torrie runs off, only to get caught by Shane Douglas and Asya. Well they tried to murder Flair so I’m not sure I can sympathize with them when one of their members is kidnapped.

Curt Hennig doesn’t like the Powers that Be and if he gets pinned he’s fired. Why you ask? The better question is why would you ask “why you ask?” You should know by now that you’re never getting a clear answer to most of the logical questions this show brings up.

The Outsiders drink coffee, potentially to sober Hall up.

Curt Hennig vs. Lash Leroux

If Hennig gets pinned he’s fired. Hennig hammers away in the corner to start and hiptosses Lash across the ring for two. Disco Inferno comes out to praise Lash on commentary but gets interrupted by Curt ramming Lash into the table. They head back inside with Hennig getting two off a knee lift as this is a total squash so far, meaning you can expect a swerve soon. Lash comes back with some right hands and dropkicks before loading up Whiplash, only to have Hennig hit the referee for the DQ. Well he didn’t get pinned.

Hennig lays out Lash and Disco with a chair.

The Filthy Animals are looking for Torrie.

A limping Bret Hart arrives.

Here are the Nitro Girls for the Nitro Girls search stuff but Jeff Jarrett comes out to interrupt. Jeff threatens to stroke each one of them and says this tournament is a big work. See, he’s the next champion and if Luger disagrees, he can take the Lex Express out of town. Amazingly enough, no one responds to the five year old reference. Oh and he didn’t hit Elizabeth last week. Their big plan to get Jarrett over as a heel is to break up the Nitro Girls stuff? He’ll be out popping Goldberg in two weeks at this rate.

Sid says the war with Goldberg is far from over.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Saturn threatens to make Torrie disappear if the Animals interfere. The Animals leave but Eddie jumps him from behind for the early advantage. He goes after the leg as the fans are entirely behind him, because I guess they see kidnapping Torrie as a good thing. Guerrero uses his wrist tape to tie the leg to the ropes for some hard kicks but Saturn quickly rips it off.

A hot shot and gutbuster change control though and Saturn cranks on an abdominal stretch. Eddie’s ribs are draped over the top rope before they head outside with Saturn whipping him into the barricade. They’re flying through this as you can almost feel the shenanigans coming. Cue David Flair with a crowbar to nail Eddie in the ribs, setting up the Rings of Saturn to give Saturn the win.

Rating: C. That’s the match of the night isn’t it? At the end of the day, you need more than four minutes to get anything special going and even guys like Saturn and Guerrero can only only do so much. The David Flair stuff makes sense as he would be upset at Torrie and doesn’t want her to be rescued, but it’s another case of throwing so much into one show that you can’t process it all.

Saturn runs from the invading Animals.

Hall and Nash don’t want to fight so they come up with ways of shutting down the show. Nash’s best idea: strip in the ring.

The Revolution has Torrie held hostage in a secret location. Does anyone ever think of just flagging down the cameraman and asking where they just came from? Malenko walks out of the room but Benoit jumps him behind and lays wastes to him, clearly swearing without being censored.

Here are the Outsiders, potentially for stripping. Hall does the Survey and says they’ve been partying in Vegas, but had to come here for the real party. Nash says no one is going to tell them what to do, but Goldberg pops up to threaten them with violence later in the night. The Outsiders jumped Goldberg before the Sid match last night so we have Goldberg’s next feud. We don’t have an explanation for Nash’s retirement before forgotten but you can’t have everything. Or anything around here these days actually.

Here are Randy Savage and Gorgeous George, clad in sparkly red attire because it makes George look good and Savage look…..well like Savage actually. Savage says it’s been awhile but Russo and the rest of the vultures in the back aren’t going to see him hang himself on live TV. However, George is right when she says he’s well hung.

You can’t kill off the Macho Man like you did Hogan and Flair. The yellow and red and Space Mountain have played themselves out but Savage is still legit. It’s time that he passes the torch to the next superstar to win World Titles, set ratings records and be even better than he was. I don’t think he would be seen for another six months.

The Animals find the Revolution’s dressing room (hint: it was labeled REVOLUTION) but there’s no Torrie.

The Revolution tries to get Malenko to chill.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Madusa vs. ???

And it’s Meng. I’m assuming there’s a joke here that I’m not smart enough to get. Madusa fires off punches and kicks which are sold as well as an air conditioner at the North Pole. Meng goes after her but stops to look at her chest, earning him an eye poke. So this is a comedy match? Some choking and a missile dropkick have no effect on Meng so she jumps on his back, gets flipped over and the Tongan Death Grip is good for the win.

Evan Karagias of all people comes out to check on Madusa, but Dean Malenko comes out to challenge Benoit to a last man standing match tonight. There’s no connection between Malenko and Karagias. Russo just doesn’t know what it means to wait a second.

Nash is taping up.

Curt Hennig and Brad Armstrong are backstage. Brad has been told to leave until he finds a personality and the Powers that Be suggest he call his little brother. I’m getting a headache and we’re not even halfway done with this mess.

Bret has his leg looked at.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Total Package vs. Rick Steiner

Please keep up the short trend here. We get the full monty of WCW’s bad production here as Tony asks for stills of Bret vs. Lex, has to stall for about 45 seconds before they come up, has to ignore Rick Steiner’s music starting and stopping during the stills, and then we miss the opening of the match because of Benoit vs. Steiner stills. I mean dude, even TNA has their stuff together better than this.

Luger hammers on him to start with his usual array of kicks and forearms as Jarrett comes out to do commentary. Steiner fights back and sends Luger into the buckle as Jeff talks about how he didn’t attack Liz last week because he isn’t that kind of a man. Tony brings up the WWF but Jeff says these are different days. Jeff goes after Liz but Luger makes a save, only to have Jarrett’s guitar shot hit Steiner by mistake. Liz freaks out so Luger checks on her, only to drop her so he can beat the ten count back in to win another short (sweet) match. This would be about three weeks’ worth of story crammed into a few minutes.

Liz isn’t happy.

Konnan threatens to hurt the Revolution if they harm Torrie and also speaks on cheese.

Benoit tapes his hands.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Konnan vs. Kidman

Time for a stable battle. Konnan takes over quickly and snapmares Kidman down, setting up a basement dropkick. That’s not cool with Kidman and they slug it out until Konnan hits the rolling clothesline. The X Factor is countered with a BK Bomb for two but the referee is bumped, as per Russo requirement. Cue Harlem Heat to lay out both guys with finishers, though Stevie doesn’t actually go off his feet on the Slap Jack. Mysterio and Guerrero try to make a save but Kidman rolls over onto Konnan to advance. This looked like a back door out of having partners fight, but more than likely Russo had no idea what he booked.

Eddie has to calm Konnan and Kidman down post match. Konnan agrees and wants a Tag Team Title shot tonight against “these two mark punk busters.”

The Outsiders are wondering who they’ll be facing in their big, and I’m sure totally serious, match. Maybe the Bushwhackers or the Kangaroos?

Quick look back at Bagwell being annoyed at having to job last week. Seriously, that appears to be the story they’re going with.

Here’s Bagwell for a chat. He’s going to start breaking all the rules and doesn’t care about all the sacred things in this business. Last week was the last time he’ll do a job (oh here we go) for the two idiots in the back writing this nonsense. Cue the Harris Brothers in the soon to be named Creative Control gimmick to beat Bagwell down. This would be the worked part after the real stuff you heard from Buff. There are a lot of problems with this, but if you don’t know what a job is in wrestling terms, doesn’t it sound like Bagwell just quit?

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

Last man standing for reasons that aren’t really explained and both guys are in street clothes. They slug it out to start and tumble out to the floor with Benoit being sent into the barricade over and over. That goes nowhere so they get back inside, only to have Benoit crotch Malenko against the post. That’s not something Benoit would normally do.

Chris chops away in the corner before a belly to back suplex sends Malenko down. They’re both up at six so Benoit rolls some Germans, only to get kicked low. Dean tosses him over the top and out to the floor for more whips into the barricade. Back in and Benoit suplexes him down again for a short count before a double clothesline puts both guys down but only Benoit beats the count.

Rating: C-. This is Vince Russo in a nutshell: a last man standing match announced with maybe half an hour notice that gets seven minutes and ends with a clothesline because we need to get on to all the other AMAZING things he has planned for us, like three minute nothing matches. How did adding a gimmick to this match help? Benoit and Malenko can have a good match with each other in their sleep but they have to add in a last man standing gimmick for the sake of adding one in, thereby making it look like a less important gimmick going forward. Well done in just seven minutes.

Post match the Filthy Animals come out but Douglas (with his arm in a cast) and Saturn show up on stage with Asya holding Torrie. Shane babbles about hurting Torrie and Dean is allowed to leave. The Animals chase after him and get to the parking lot where both groups speed away. I guess this is action adventure or something? Also, no explanation for why Malenko did what he did last night. I’m not expecting any reason after this point.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Sting vs. Brian Knobs

Two ball bat shots to the chest for the pin in thirteen seconds. Yeah that’s going to keep Sting a heel. To recap, the brackets said Sting vs. Knobbs, Tony said Sting vs. Morrus, Sting actually fought Knobbs. Conclusion: Tony Schiavone is incompetent.

The Outsiders talk strategy for later.

Bret Hart has a hairline fracture but is going to fight Goldberg anyway.

Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Kidman/Konnan

Harlem Heat is defending. Stevie hammers Konnan down to start and stomps Kidman on the apron. All hail King Stevie. More pounding ensues until Konnan clotheslines both champs down for a breather. Off to Kidman but he eats a clothesline as well to give Stevie control again. It’s quickly back to Konnan with Booker taking over with right hands and a side slam. The champs start double teaming Konnan as I guess they’re heels tonight, despite the fans being all over the Animals earlier in the night.

Stevie knees him down and cranks on an armbar. Back to Booker who misses the ax kick, allowing the hot tag to Kidman. A quick Dudley Dog staggers Booker but Stevie comes back in to set up a Hart Attack with a Harlem Side Kick instead of a clothesline. Konnan gets back up and goes after Booker, allowing Kidman to load up another Dudley Dog, only to have Stevie counter with a bridging belly to back suplex, but Kidman raises his shoulder for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Was there any reason to not just give Kidman and Konnan the belts last night? Other than a “shocking” title change that is? The match was nothing to see, again mainly due to time, even though this was one of the longer matches of the night at just over five minutes. Sign of the Russo times: that’s the third title change, not counting the belts being vacated, in eight days.

Goldberg says he’s always been brutal and the match with Sid was just showing that side.

WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Flair

Kimberly grabs the mic and starts up the catchphrases in that great acting voice of hers. Page wants Flair out of the ring and grabs him by the neck before kissing him on the cheek. He makes the mistake of turning his back on the crazy man though, allowing David to get in some crowbar shots. Kimberly gets in to call David off and he leaves as Page is looked at by medics. No match.

Outsiders vs. ???

The Outsiders are in street clothes. Cue the Harris Brothers…..who step aside so a bunch of adult chicks can come out, one of which appears to be smuggling basketballs in her shirt. The bell rings and my goodness they’re actually doing this. Tony: “The Powers that Be are looking for ratings and they’re going to get them!”

Hall starts with the blonde but doesn’t know where to put his hands. She headlocks him into her chest and this is dying before my eyes. More “comedy” ensues and Hall does the Flair Flop, earning him a spank. The fans clap for the hot tag and Nash is all fired up for the other blonde. He gets the laughably enhanced brunette but both Outsiders lay down for a double pin. You think I’m rating this?

Goldberg comes out to clean house before the brunette can take her top off.

US Title/WCW World Title Tournament First Round: Goldberg vs. Bret Hart

This is for Goldberg’s US Title for no apparent reason. Bret limps down to the ring because of the leg injury over the last few weeks. Goldberg takes him into the corner and gives a clean break. Instead it’s the gorilla press into a powerslam to plant Bret but Goldberg doesn’t want to follow up.

A leg lock has Bret in trouble but he’s right next to the ropes. Bret gets dropped again as this is coming off like an angle instead of a match. Goldberg stomps away in the corner and pulls Bret out by the leg. Another leg lock makes Bret scream so Goldberg lets go and demands that the referee stop it. Bret says keep going so Goldberg throws him back to the mat.

Goldberg charges into the good foot in the corner and Bret puts on a sleeper. That goes as well as you would expect with Goldberg throwing Bret onto the referee. Hart is thrown outside so cue the Outsiders and Sid (in his gear due to reasons of insanity) to lay Goldberg out. Somehow the referee looks at this and doesn’t call for a DQ, allowing Bret to crawl back inside for the pin, even though Goldberg was sitting up when Hart got back in.

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess but not as bad as it could have been, again due to having more time (nearly EIGHT minutes!). However, it does make the events of last night seem like a big waste of time. Was there any reason to have Luger make Bret give up if Bret is winning the US Title here? Or to have Goldberg win two titles in one night and then lose both twenty four hours later? What a mess, but this was one of the less messy messes of the night. Also, this is another potential Starrcade main event thrown away for free on TV. Yeah there would be a rematch, but this wasn’t really making me want to see them again.

Here are the updated brackets for the first half of the tournament.

Bret Hart

Perry Saturn

Norman Smiley

Kidman

Total Package

Diamond Dallas Page/David Flair (no winner so it’s not clear)

Meng

Sting

What a glorious set of options.

Overall Rating: F. When the best things I can think of on a show are Torrie and Kimberly looking good, you can tell it’s been a waste of three hours. The title matches ranged from a series of quick ways out of having a match to adding angles to matches so Russo can cram every single thing he can think of into the show. It’s been said that Russo wants nothing to do with wrestling and that was never more clear than here.

One thing he does love though is the Filthy Animals, who were all over this show. Their story made sense for the most part, but it’s very clear that the audience is already having problems with who they’re supposed to cheer for. That’s the shades of gray idea that Russo likes to use, which still doesn’t seem to work 90% of the time.

This was a huge mess with WAY too much stuff going on to keep track of anything. I watched this show over the span of about twenty four hours and I’m struggling to remember half of what happened on it. None of the things you see has the chance to stick with you because they have to get on to the next idea. There was a line from HHH when he was on Austin’s podcast that would really serve Russo well: there’s always next week. It’s ok to let something play out on one show and do something next week (or on Thunder to make that show actually mean something for a change).

Here’s the thing: yeah the WWF is pretty lame right now with all the sports entertainment nonsense, at least it made sense and had the charisma to carry things through. This show feels like someone watched Raw and said “I CAN DO THAT!” and got a job running a wrestling comp……oh dear goodness that’s pretty much what happened isn’t it? Maybe this is Russo getting his first ideas out of the way early and it’ll get better later, but for now though, the Russo Era is terrifying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XIII
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

There’s a very strong case that this is the night where the Attitude Era began. I’m not sure if that’s the case but it beats almost anything else for second place. The alleged main event here is Sid defending the world title against Undertaker but in reality it’s Austin vs. Hart in a battle of the generations in a submission match. The match is a dark horse candidate for the greatest match of all time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the tradition of Wrestlemania but mentions that there’s a new force in the company. It’s not a person but rather an attitude of vengeance and a lack of respect.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

In Your House ad.

CALL THE HOTLINE!!!

Honky Tonk Man is here, still looking for his new protege. He’ll be doing commentary for the next match.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Maivia is defending. Sultan is more famous as Rikishi and has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner. Lawler tells Honky not to pick Rocky for his protege because there’s no future there. So much for the Memphis school system. Rocky starts off fast and knocks Sultan out to the floor. The managers try to calm the big man down but Rocky goes after him, only to wind up clotheslining the post.

Back in and Sultan runs him over with a clothesline of his own. He throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and hits another clothesline for two. Off to a nerve hold as Honky rants about how he already would have defended the title and been in the back combing his hair. Sultan goes up and hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. So we have a Samoan portraying an Arabian but hitting a headbutt to another Samoan. I’m so racially confused.

Rocky tries a sunset flip but Sultan grabs him by the throat to block. A belly to belly gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans are very restless with this and rightly think it’s boring. Rocky fights up but they clothesline each other to stop things from getting interesting. Sultan starts pounding away again but Rocky starts feeling the soul and makes his comeback.

Maivia snaps off some punches to Sultan and gets two off a belly to belly suplex. The spinning DDT that Rocky doesn’t use anymore puts Sultan down and there’s his top rope cross body (finisher at the time) but the Sheik has the referee. Sultan gets up and hits a superkick for a very close two. A piledriver gets another two count for Sultan but Rocky grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. This got better by the end but man alive was it dull for the most part. It just kept going and Sultan didn’t have enough enough to make a match like this work. Rocky would get WAY better and the jump he’s made since Survivor Series to this point is remarkable. The fans would start to hate him though, which wound up being exactly what he needed all along.

Post match Rocky is doing an interview with JR when Sultan jumps him from behind. Sheik, Sultan and Backlund all beat on Maivia until Rocky Johnson, Rocky’s dad, comes in to help fight them off. Cool moment but I don’t think most people knew who Johnson was.

Ken Shamrock, the guest referee in the submission match, says that he’ll call it down the middle. He’s here because he’s a submission master, which he actually was as a former UFC World Champion.

Doc Hendrix (with a LOUD echo on his mic) is with HHH and Chyna. HHH doesn’t think his relationship with Chyna is any of Doc’s business.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

This feud just kept GOING for months on end. Goldust crouches down and does his mind game schtick before pounding away on HHH. This is a very personal rivalry apparently. What the rivalry is about isn’t important enough to explain. Goldie pounds away in the corner and hits a fast atomic drop before sending HHH to the floor. HHH is on the apron so Goldust can slide under the ropes and hit his uppercut.

Now the not yet Game is tied up in the ropes with his feet dangling over the floor. After he’s freed, Goldust clotheslines him back inside but gets caught in the facebuster to slow things down. That doesn’t last long though as Goldust powerslams HHH down and goes up top. HHH comes back though and crotches the gold one before sending him off the top and face first into the apron.

Back in and HHH is in control, ripping open Goldust’s clothes to chop at the bare chest. A hard whip into the other corner puts Goldust down again and there’s a swinging neckbreaker for two. Off to an abdominal stretch by HHH which goes off to an arm trap chinlock. Helmsley grabs a few covers but can’t keep Goldust down for three. Goldie comes back with a near low blow and an uppercut to the face.

Not that any of that matters though as HHH comes right back with a suplex and knee drop for two. Goldust is like MOVIE REFERENCES and chops away in the corner but HHH knocks him right back down. A small package gets two for Goldust but HHH takes over again almost immediately. Goldie comes back with a cross body for two but they hit head to head to put both guys down. HHH goes up top but jumps into a flying…shall we say hip attack from Goldust to put him back down.

Chyna keeps staring at the ring without moving much more than her eyes. HHH misses a charge into the corner and gets put down by a backdrop. Goldust’s bulldog gets two as Chyna starts walking around the ring. HHH escapes the Curtain Call (reverse suplex) but Goldust counters the counter into a slingshot. He loads up the Curtain Call again but sees Chyna near Marlena. Marlena jumps up on the apron but Goldust is knocked into her, sending Marlena into Chyna’s arms. The Pedigree ends Goldie quickly.

Rating: C-. This was higher quality but it was still dull stuff. This was a REALLY bad period for HHH as he wasn’t having interesting matches and wasn’t in DX yet to let him be funny either. That combines to make him like a 12 year old hitting on girls: awkward, not interesting, and more laughable than effective. Nothing to see here, as usual with these two.

Shawn Michaels tries to figure out AOL.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

Owen/Bulldog are defending and have to deal with Paul Bearer managing the challengers. JR tries to cause trouble among the tag champions by asking Bulldog if he’s mad over Owen saying he’s smarter than Bulldog. Bulldog is also European Champion here, having beaten Owen for it a few weeks ago in a masterpiece. Owen and Vader start things off with the Canadian getting pounded down into the corner by the monster.

Hart tries to speed things up and actually takes Vader down with a spinwheel kick. A cross body is easily caught though and a rana is countered into a powerbomb. The idea here is that Vader and Mankind could have problems with Bulldog but they can beat up Owen with relative ease. Vader loads up the Bomb which draws in Bulldog and Mankind. Bulldog clotheslines the monsters down and Owen dropkicks them both down to one up his partner.

It’s Bulldog vs. Mankind now with the Brit stomping away in the corner. There’s the delayed vertical but Vader won’t even let Bulldog cover. Bulldog casually slams/suplexes Vader down to show off a little bit. It’s back to Mankind vs. Bulldog with Mankind being put in a chinlock. Mankind fights up and throws him to the floor where Bearer hands him the Urn. Bulldog trips him down though to avoid the shot, only to have Vader get the Urn and blast Bulldog in the back of the head to shift control.

Back in and Vader hits a suplex on Bulldog for two before pounding away in the corner. A corner splash crushes the British one and a middle rope splash (regular, not Vader Bomb style) only gets two. That’s a surprise and it earns a Bulldog chant. Mankind comes in but can’t get the Mandible Claw on. Instead he pounds Bulldog down into the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Instead of covering, Mankind goes to the floor and screams a bit. You know, because that’s what he does.

Vader runs Bulldog over again but as he goes up, Bulldog flips him over in a kind of release slam. Back to Owen who comes in with a missile dropkick to take Vader back down. A top rope cross body gets two but Vader CRUSHES him with a standing body block. The challengers hit a kind of Demolition Decapitator off the apron to the floor. That move put Rick Martel out for about seven months in 1988 but here it keeps Owen down for about six seconds. Now THAT is toughness.

Stu and Helen are in the front row as Mankind chokes away at Owen. Back in and Owen grabs a DDT out of desperation but a splash hits knees to slow him down again. Mankind charges at Owen but they hit heads to put both guys down. We actually hear about The Wrestling Classic for no apparent reason. Vader comes back in to box Owen’s ears but Hart escapes a suplex and hits a quick spin kick for two. Out to the floor again where Owen hits a quick belly to belly on Mankind before they head back inside.

The enziguri puts Mankind down and there’s the hot tag to Bulldog. Vader loses his mask as Bulldog beats on both challengers. Mankind is still legal and gets whipped HARD into the corner. There’s the powerslam but Mankind grabs the Claw to escape. Everything breaks down and Mankind and Bulldog go to the floor. Mankind puts on the Claw and it’s a double countdown.

Rating: B-. That might be overrating it but after an hour of boring stuff, this was a nice breath of air. The story here was shaky but it worked well enough all things considered. I’m not sure why this match happened as I don’t remember any build up to it at all and with a #1 contenders match earlier in the night, I really don’t get why this match happened. Still though, not bad stuff.

Mankind refuses to let go of the hold.

We recap Bret vs. Austin which is the real main event of this show. So Bret was all awesome and such but after losing the title at Wrestlemania last year, Bret took six months off to whine. Then he came back and felt that he kept getting screwed over by everyone from Shawn to Austin to Vince (nah that could never happen). Austin was leading the charge of disrespect by saying Bret was just a crybaby anymore. This led to a masterpiece between Austin and Bret that made everyone realize Austin was for real and the next big thing.

Hart barely won but he kept snapping and even hit Pat Patterson, the symbol of respect and tradition. This led to the Royal Rumble where Bret had the match won and eliminated Austin, only to have Austin sneak back in and win the match. A month later Bret won the vacant world title, only to have Austin cost him the belt the next night on Raw. This all led up to here and a submission match with the theme of a submission master vs. a guy that will not quit.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

This is a submission match and Ken Shamrock is guest referee. Austin has actual glass shatter as he enters which is rather cool. He gets cheered but Bret gets something resembling a mixed reaction. Austin tackles him down to start and the fight is on immediately. They head to the floor with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Austin gets posted but he manages to crotch Bret on the barricade. Bret gets clotheslined into the crowd as this is all action so far.

Bret gets in a few shots in the audience and Shamrock is right with them. Presumably this is falls count anywhere. Bret gets in a solid right hand but Austin grabs him for a piledriver. Hart counters with a backdrop and they head back towards the ring. Back to ringside and Bret dives off the barricade with a forearm to the back. Austin comes right back by whipping Hart into the steps to put him down again.

Steve hits a forearm off the apron before picking up the steps. Bret kicks him in the ribs though and the steps might have crushed Austin’s leg. As they get back in the ring (remember that thing?) Bret guillotines Austin on the top rope to take over again. Bret cranks on the leg and cannonballs down on it ala Flair. More cranking ensues and Hart wants him to get up. Bret misses another cannonball and Austin ERUPTS with a clothesline to put both guys down.

We get some foreshadowing by Lawler when he says you can’t give up when you’re unconscious. Hart comes back with a kick to the leg and throws on the Figure Four around the post. Bret goes to get the bell but switches over to a chair. That one has too much padding on it though so he gets a regular chair to Pillmanize the ankle with. The fans are getting WAY into this. Bret goes up top but Austin crotches him and CRACKS him with the chair.

Another big chair shot to the back sets up a suplex as Hart is in big trouble all of a sudden. A middle rope elbow from Austin hits Bret as JR is in full on JR mode, including a few jabs at WCW (“This isn’t about posing or covering a bald spot!”). Austin this another Bret move in the Russian legsweep followed by a reverse Koji Clutch (as in he cranks on the arm while wrapping his leg around Bret’s head. That’s a bit too complicated for Austin though so there’s a Boston Crab instead.

Bret makes a rope because in a war like this, let’s make sure we follow the rules. Austin loads up a Sharpshooter (he has no idea how to get it on) but Austin escapes. Steve fires him through the ropes and to the floor. Bret comes back and reverses a whip into the barricade while running over a few people in the process. Austin is bleeding and it’s a GUSHER. Bret sends him into the steps and pounds away at the cut as we head back inside.

Hart pounds away even harder at Austin’s forehead before hitting the Five Moves of Doom. Bret gets the chair as Vince says this is becoming too much to watch. Hart drives the chair into the leg over and over again but he can’t get the Sharpshooter again. The mat is covered in blood. Austin comes back with a low blow but he can barely stand up. He whips Bret chest first into the corner and here comes the Rattlesnake. Austin stomps the mudhole in Bret and the double bird gets a big reaction from the fans.

Austin puts Bret on top and superplexes him back down. You can’t see Austin’s forehead from all the blood. Since nothing else works, Austin goes to the floor and gets the electrical cable to choke Bret out. Hart grabs the bell from somewhere though and blasts Austin in the head, knocking him silly. Now the Sharpshooter goes on and the place goes NUTS. Austin’s head is on the mat and you can see the blood pooling up under him. That is SICK.

The crowd starts chanting for Austin and we get one of the most famous shot in company history as Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. He gets one last rush of adrenaline to push up and break the Sharpshooter for the first time ever. Well kind of as he gets Bret off his back but couldn’t break the grip. Bret gets the hold back on but Austin will not quit. Austin is out cold and Shamrock finally stops it. Austin never gave up.

Rating: A+. This is the highest rating a match can get. If there was a higher rating, this match would get that. This is one of the greatest wars you will ever see in a ring with some of the greatest storytelling you’ll ever see either. The idea of Bret being taken out of his element, only to get sucked into Austin’s world where he reaches a point that he’s never been to before but it’s STILL not enough to stop Austin is amazing and works to this day. The key point here: Hart could not stop Austin. He could only slow him down. Absolutely amazing and if you haven’t seen this, go find it right now. Seriously, go watch it now. It’s excellent.

Post match Bret is disgusted with himself but looks at Austin’s lifeless body and gets mad all over again for not being able to make Austin quit. Bret goes after the leg again but Shamrock grabs him and hooks a kind of suplex to get Hart off. Shamrock says let’s go if you want to but Bret backs down and leaves. The fans GO OFF on Bret as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. A referee comes out to check on him and gets a Stunner for his troubles. Austin walks out on his own power and gets a well deserved standing ovation. And that my friends, is a double turn.

Amazingly enough, Bret vs. Austin was only just beginning. The next five months would be even more insane with perhaps an even better match blowing it off. Now let THAT sink in for a minute. This is still one of the few matches that has an actual impact on me and I get WAY into it every time I see it.

Why aren’t you watching this match right now? I’m tempted to watch it again.

Faarooq and the Nation say the criminals are out tonight in Chicago and they’re ready for the LOD and Ahmed in the Chicago street fight.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

It’s Crush/Faarooq/Savio Vega plus a bunch of unnamed lackeys forming the Nation at this point. They bring out every weapon you could think of for this match between about the nine people they have here. Ahmed has the spikes on too and they bring the kitchen sink with them. Ok point for a funny idea. It’s a big brawl to start (and will continue to be that way) with the good guys beating up the lackeys.

Faarooq hits Animal in the back with a nightstick and Ahmed hits a big dive over the barricade to take out I think Savio. I’m not going to be able to call everything here so expect a lot to be missed. Ahmed crushes Crush with a trashcan as Hawk has a 2×4 to stalk Savio with. Animal tries a piledriver on Faarooq through a table but they just fall off to the side instead. The fans chant for the LOD and Animal blasts Faarooq with a fire extinguisher. Savio cleans house with a trashcan but gets it wrapped around him and blasted by Hawk.

Ahmed slams Faarooq through the table from earlier and there goes the fire extinguisher again. Now we get a big rope with a noose on it to hang Ahmed. The Nation is too big and powerful for LOD and Ahmed to fight off. Hawk comes back with a double clothesline to Jerry’s shock. It was an actual wrestling move! Ahmed gets out of the noose and beats up D-Lo Brown for a bit. Animal hits Faarooq with a parking sign as Savio throws Ahmed over the barricade.

Crush finds a wrench from somewhere to blast Animal with as Faarooq is pulled to the floor by the rope. They’re clearly starting to get tired now. Hawk sprays the Nation down with the extinguisher again but the lackeys save Faarooq from the Pearl River Plunge. Crush gets caught in the Doomsday Device out of nowhere before getting hit by a 2×4 for the pin.

Rating: B-. You know what, why not. This was a FIGHT and it worked quite well. They didn’t try to make this anything but a street fight and that’s what they gave us. This wasn’t good or quality or anything but it was certainly fun and exactly what it was advertised as. Good stuff here and the second best match of the night so far.

Post match D’Lo (not yet named) takes the Pearl River Plunge and the small white guys (PG-13) take a double Doomsday Device to pop the crowd HUGE.

Here’s Shawn Michaels to do commentary on the main event. This was when he had a “knee injury”, which had a bad case of Idon’twanttoreturnthejobtoBretsoI’llsayI’mhurtandnotlosetohimlikeamanwould-itis.

WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Undertaker

This is because Sid won the title and Undertaker is getting a title shot for…..no reason that I can remember at all actually. He was just kind of thrown in there to get the title off Sid with no real explanation. Sid gives his usual insane promo about how he’s going to retain the title because he’s not scared. For the first time ever, we hear that Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania. Sid’s pyro of his name in lights is awesome.

Just after the bell, here’s Bret Hart. Shawn: “Imagine that: Bret being resentful.” Bret yells at Shawn for having a fake injury and losing his smile. He then says that he and Undertaker are no longer friends. As for Sid, he’s a fraud because the belt belongs to Bret. Thankfully Sid hits Bret in the face and powerbombs him (Shawn: “And now you’re getting beaten up because of your big mouth.). Taker jumps Sid from behind and we get another bell to officially start the match.

Sid throws him into the corner to start but charges into a big boot. Taker hits a kind of splash in the corner followed by a slam for two. Old School hits Sid but Taker charges into a bearhug. The bearhug stays on for a long time as you would expect it to. These two have 22 minutes for this match and that’s a recipe for disaster. Sid finally kicks Undertaker to the floor and then over the French announce table for good measure.

Apparently this is no holds barred according to Gorilla. Sid drops him on the table and almost breaks it in the process. Back in and Sid pounds away at the back even more before hooking a camel clutch. Jerry: “How do you kill a dead man?” Vince: “You don’t have to. You just have to pin him for three seconds.” Point to Vince I guess. Sid hits a powerslam but can only get three two’s in a row.

A big leg gets two for Sid but Taker comes back with the flying clothesline for two. They head to the floor where Sid is thrown over the barricade. That goes nowhere so we head back inside for a horrible chinlock by the champion. Taker fights up and hits a powerslam for two before putting on a nerve hold of his own. A clothesline puts Sid back down for two as Taker is looking tired.

They hit big boots at the same time to put each other down. Sid goes to the middle rope for an ax handle and thankfully keeps his leg intact. A kind of middle rope clothesline/punch to the face gets two for the champion but here comes the Dead Man. Sid slams him down and goes up top, only to be crotched and slammed down. Undertaker hits a top rope clothesline for two more as the match FINALLY picks up a bit. Taker loads up the Tombstone but gets reversed into a tombstone by Sid for two.

We head back to the floor again but here’s Bret Hart to smack Sid in the back with a chair. Referees and officials come out to throw Bret out as Sid is rammed back first into the post. Back inside we go again and it’s a chokeslam for a VERY close two. They botch what might have been the flying clothesline as Sid ducks down, sending Taker flying. Here comes the powerbomb but Bret interferes AGAIN. The distraction lets Taker hit the Tombstone for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull stuff and Bret got annoying after about his second interference. Granted that’s the idea, but he was still annoying. On top of that, the match was WAY too much sitting around and doing nothing with all of the rest holds and other general standing around based activities. Sid was pretty much gone for good after this.

Undertaker celebrates for awhile as Shawn sucks up to him.

Overall Rating: D+. This certainly isn’t the worse Wrestlemania but it’s also not a good show by any real stretch. The main problem here is that it felt like any other PPV rather than a major show other than the Bret vs. Austin match. On top of that, the main event sucks pretty hard. It wasn’t entertaining and Undertaker wound up being a terrible champion. He couldn’t even main event his own PPV the next month. Anyway, bad show but DEFINITELY see Austin vs. Hart, even if you have before.

Ratings Comparison

Headbangers vs. Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFaon vs. New Blackjacks

Original: D+

Redo: C

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Goldust

Original: D

Redo: C-

Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Vader/Mankind

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson vs. Nation of Domination

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Undertaker vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

The street fight is good but it’s not THAT good.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/20/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-13-hitman-and-austin-thats-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #210
Date: October 18, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,413
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Halloween Havoc but more importantly, Russo and Ferrara are officially in charge tonight. That’s going to lead to some very rapid changes around here and that’s not a good sign before the pay per view. In theory it would make sense to do Halloween Havoc and then let them take over, but this is WCW after all. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sid arriving in a limo and wearing a suit, flanked by attorneys. Oh yeah Russo is in charge.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Evan Karagias

Evan gets dropped by a quick shoulder but scores with a dropkick and clothesline to send Guerrera to the floor. Back in and Evan shrugs off some chops but charges into a boot in the corner. They’re not exactly cranking things up here. A headscissors and cross body get two on Evan….and here’s Bret to get in the ring and just start talking. The match just stops because….well why not?

Bret says that he wasn’t allowed to have an interview tonight and he left the WWF for two reasons. He’s here to fight Hogan and win the World Title but WCW won’t let him do either of those things. This brings out Sting to say Bret needs to join the real world. Juvy is just walking around the ring as this goes on. They talk about being screwed (censored) and Bret is offered a title shot tonight. Is there a reason why Sting’s paint is already chipped off at the top despite not having any physicality so far?

The announcers talk about Russo and Ferrara being hired as writers. Tonight: an evening gown match. So this is why we’ve had a “division?” As in the three girls that have matches once a month?

Sid is advised not to speak. Score one for Russo and Ferrara!

Goldberg arrives. Why is wrestling so lenient about performers being late?

Back to Sid, who now talks about Goldberg breaking the stipulation of not touching him before the match. Nothing here other than acknowledging what happened last week.

Vampiro vs. Disco Inferno

Non-title with Lash Leroux on commentary. Lash appearing offers a distraction and Vampiro kicks him in the back of the head to take over. Another kick to the chest drops Disco and it’s off to a shot of the commentators. Back in and Vampiro gets one off a suplex but the Chartbuster connects for our second fast ending of the night.

Lash comes in and gives Disco Whiplash. That’s a very heelish move.

Goldberg promises to Jackhammer Sid.

Dustin Rhodes video with him talking like Yoda.

Madusa refuses to perform in an evening gown match because it’s beneath her.

Nitro Girls search stuff and FINALLY Stacy Keibler shows up. However, Buff Bagwell cuts them off and says the internet has been talking about how he’s taking WCW to the top. See, he heard that Russo and Ferrara were high on him during an internet interview. This is the kind of breaking the fourth wall stuff that I can’t stand and Russo loves for whatever reason, ignoring the fact that it’s almost never drawn a dime. But hey, I’m sure he’ll have a 300 page book explaining why this was SO hard on him.

Mona has never had an evening gown match but she’s wrestled several matches wearing an evening gown.

Kimberly is looking for David Flair. I think we’re in the soap opera portion of the show.

Goldberg and Sid reiterate the same things they said earlier.

Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Harlem Heat is defending and Booker is now in trunks. Stevie elbows Rey in the face and throws him way into the air on a backdrop. Rey comes back with the not yet named 619 but gets clotheslined out to the floor for his efforts. Cue Kidman and Eddie arm in arm with Torrie Wilson as it’s off to Konnan vs. Booker. Konnan scores with a quick DDT and Mysterio adds a Lionsault. This is already the longest match of the night at about two and a half minutes.

Stevie fights out of the Tequila Sunrise and Booker plants Konnan with a Rock Bottom. Eddie and Kidman join commentary and brag about how hot Torrie is. Well you can’t argue that. We see the First Family watching in the back as Stevie bearhugs Konnan. Off to Booker for a kick to the face and a double suplex for two, followed by an even harder kick from Stevie. Well you can’t say they’re not thinking along the same lines.

Rey breaks up a cover off a powerslam and is promptly sent outside. Everything breaks down and the commentators offer a distraction to Booker, allowing Rey to hit the springboard seated senton on Stevie. Konnan adds a trip and holds Ray’s legs for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. So we sat through weeks of the First Family vs. Harlem Heat to give the Filthy Animals the titles in an unannounced match that will probably be one of the longest matches of the night? SWEET! It may make have been several wasted weeks, but I’ll take Konnan and Mysterio as champions any day, as Harlem Heat has just outlived most of their usefulness. They’re still watchable and could be far worse, but at least Konnan and Rey are some fresh blood.

Kimberly sticks her chest out at David Flair and gives him her motel key because Page is out of town and she’s lonely.

The Filthy Animals celebrate the win but the First Family comes up and demands their title shot on Sunday.

Hugh Morrus vs. Meng

Time for a guy getting a title shot on Sunday (in theory) to get squashed. Morrus hammers away but stupidly tries a headbutt. Meng rakes the eyes and no sells a spinwheel kick of all things before chopping Morrus around like he’s nothing. A boxing match goes badly for Morrus and here are the Outsiders through the crowd. Morrus scores with a slam and hits a pair of top rope elbows but stops to talk to Jimmy Hart, allowing Meng to no sell again and Death Grip Morrus for the win. So long logic. It was nice knowing you. Well at least it was years ago when WCW was actually logical but this is a step down even for them.

Here are Sid and the lawyers, complete with a piece of paper. It’s the contract for Halloween Havoc but Sid rips it to pieces after the spear last week. Cue Goldberg to clean house and spear an attorney, only to get kicked in the head and powerbombed. The lawyer is up in about ten seconds as Sid says he’ll see Goldberg at Halloween Havoc. Sid and company leave so the Outsiders laugh at Goldberg, earning them punches to the face. Just get them back in the ring already. The Outsiders are ejected.

Bret Hart promises to give Hogan a title shot if he wins tonight. Sting comes in and jumps Bret but security breaks it up.

Hall and Nash can’t get back in the building.

Goldberg is looking for Sid.

Berlyn vs. Rick Steiner

So…..Rick is a face here? Berlyn stomps away in the corner to start, already with more offense than almost anyone else ever. A big Steiner Line takes Berlyn down and Rick barks like a good dog. Berlyn gets sent outside but Brad Armstrong comes in for a distraction. The bodyguard swings a chair and hits Rick (not clear who he was aiming for), giving Berlyn the fluke pin.

Rick beats up Armstrong post match and takes him into the back.

The Outsiders sneak in, high on cough syrup. Seriously.

Kimberly is at the hotel and strips down to her lingerie, only to find Ric instead of David. More hijinks later I’m sure.

Goldberg runs into the Insane Clown Posse (dang it!) and beats them up for not knowing where Sid is. Good Goldberg.

Luger is worried about facing Goldberg.

Madusa starts packing while Mona gets ready for their match.

David Flair vs. Kidman

Torrie is with Kidman and kisses him before the match. David charges right at Kidman and is promptly beaten into the ground. A HORRIBLE looking shoulder drops Kidman (imagine the way people would bounce off Vader but with David running instead of someone running at him) and a suplex gets two. Kidman nails a dropkick and a middle rope legdrop. David fights up but Torrie opens her rope to reveal some rather fetching lingerie of her own, allowing Kidman to hit the BK Bomb and Shooting Star for the pin.

The Filthy Animals hit the ring and beat David up. They’re good guys you know.

The Outsiders offer Gene cough syrup. If there’s a point to this I’m not seeing it.

Ric is back (about fifteen minutes at most after we saw him) and looking for the Filthy Animals.

Madusa vs. Mona

Evening gown match which Tony credits to the new creative team. This is a New York evening gown match, whatever that means. Tony tries to call this a Nitro moment, whatever that means. For some reason I seem to be saying that far too often tonight. Mona goes right for her to start and snaps off a suplex followed by a high cross body.

Madusa hooks a suplex of her own and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the head takes out the referee because a freaking evening gown match needs a ref bump. Madusa blasts Mona in the back with a chair but goes after the announcers for no apparent reason, only to have Mona rip her dress off. We’ll say that’s a win, even though Mona walks to the back before we have a decision.

Madusa yells about “everyone behind here” and tells them what they can do. It’s censored but I think you can put the idea together yourself.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Sting is defending, six days before he defends against Hogan. For some reason Bret comes from the side of the entrance instead of right down the middle. During Sting’s entrance, we see a sign saying “Owen we miss you.” My goodness it makes me sad to think about that Bret vs. Benoit match after this mess tonight. Bret hammers away to start and pounds the champ down in the corner before they’re quickly on the floor. You expected a match to last long in the ring?

All Bret as he takes Sting back inside and kicks him in the “lower abdomen”. Sting avoids a charge in the corner and hits a Warrior splash for two. Back to the floor for more brawling with Sting choking with a cord. That’s one of the first heel things he’s done since he turned over a month ago. Back in and another splash hits Bret’s knees before a DDT gets two on the champ. A swinging neckbreaker and suplex get two each for Bret but Sting comes back with the Stinger Splash for no cover.

Bret gets crotched against the post a few times (as usual the referee is fine with this) and we hit the chinlock. A knee to the ribs stops his comeback and the big elbow actually hits. I’m not sure how to respond to that as I’m in total shock. Has that EVER hit? The chinlockery continues before Sting misses a dropkick. Heenan thinks both guys could go for their leg locks but Bret opts for a piledriver and two instead.

Now the hold goes on but Sting gets over to the ropes. Back up and Sting is limping, so Bret hammers on the lower back. What exactly does the Sharpshooter hurt anyway? Sting gets in a shot to the face to get a breather but the knee gives out on a suplex attempt. The champ throws on a sleeper but Bret suplexes his way out.

It’s Sting up first but his top rope splash hits knees. Cue Elizabeth as Bret starts in on the five moves of doom. Now we have Luger with the bat but Bret nails him coming in. The distraction (plus Liz on the apron) has Bret in trouble and Luger nails him in the knee with the bat, setting up the Scorpion to retain the title.

Rating: B. See, this is called a wrestling match. You had two guys wrestling each other (mostly) for about twelve minutes before the screwy shenanigans began. Screwy shenanigan are fine, but let us have some wrestling to get us there. Bret vs. Sting could have been a major PPV headlining match, but instead let’s just throw it away here with an hour and a half build. Such is life in 1999.

Ric yells at David for some reason but David says Kidman beat him up. Papa Flair doesn’t buy it.

The Outsiders have stolen the Villanos’ masks. Sure why not.

La Parka vs. Buff Bagwell

This is actually fallout from Thunder where these two teamed together for no apparent reason. Literally, La Parka just ran out and helped Bagwell and they teamed up in the main event that night. Buff walked out on the match though and La Parka got beaten up instead. La Parka now has chains on his outfit. You would think he would get a push already, and somehow he’s more likely to under the new regime. Buff walks out instead of dancing so I guess he’s officially a heel. He casually shoves La Parka away and they trade arm work.

They’re playing up the idea that Buff’s heart isn’t in this. Buff hiptosses him down and stands in the corner. La Parka hammers away in the corner but misses a running dropkick. Bagwell gets all fired up but stops to pose, telling La Parka to kick him in the head. La Parka does what Buff asks and gets the pin. Oh yay. We’re SHOOTING again.

The locker room celebrates Buff’s loss for no apparent reason.

Buff gets on the mic and asks if Russo did a good job for him and wants to know who else is going to beat him. Ah so that’s what they were going with. I thought it might be something a bit more interesting like Buff not needing to try because he was the chosen one. Why do that when we can SHOOT though?

Anyway, Jeff Jarrett runs out and blasts Bagwell with the guitar in his big return after holding up Vince McMahon for money (totally smart move at the time, but bad long term) at last night’s No Mercy PPV. Jeff asks how he could be on a pay per view last night and here now. He has the stroke and it’s right between his legs.

The Outsiders can’t get past security and Nash vomits.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Perry Saturn

This could be interesting and it’s under elimination rules. No one actually gets an entrance though and the interest is already dying down. Shane Douglas is on commentary. The relatives shake hands but Eddie goes after Saturn. Chavo grabs a quick rollup for two but Saturn starts suplexing Guerreros. A Lionsault gets two on Eddie and Chavo’s cross body gets the same on Saturn.

Eddie suplexes his nephew to the floor but turns around for a superkick. As you would expect, the announcers ignore the match to talk about the Revolution and how awesome Shane is. Chavo stays on the floor as Saturn beats up Eddie, only to go after the younger Guerrero for a change. Eddie hits a big dive to take them both out and they fight on the floor to fulfill the Russo requirement.

They head back inside and go up top for a Tower of Doom, but Chavo flips backwards instead of falling flat, landing on his head instead of his back for a SCARY botch. Cue the Animals to yell at Douglas but Saturn dives onto Kidman, only to hit the chair in Kidman’s hands. Chavo throws Saturn back inside for a frog splash from Eddie for the elimination, followed by a quick tornado DDT to give Chavo the win.

Rating: C. This was entertaining enough (terrifying botch aside) but it was more background noise while Shane furthered the feud with the Filthy Animals. Is the Revolution even a thing anymore though? They seem to have split several times now, meaning I’m sure there will be an even bigger swerve on Sunday. Also, make sure to have Chavo, who isn’t even on the show Sunday, get the win over the people in a story. Keep up that CRAZY booking Vince.

Recap of Sid vs. Goldberg tonight.

Horace Hogan vs. Norman Smiley

Hardcore, because that was big in the WWF at the time. Horace jumps him in the aisle and makes Norman scream with the threat of a trashcan shot. They get inside where Norman stops a charge by kicking the can into Horace’s face. More screaming ensues. Horace hammers away a bit more but gets sent into the steps. That goes nowhere as he hot shots Norman onto the barricade and takes him back inside for a superplex. Now Norman is crying. It’s table time but Norman collapses, sending Horace charging through the table instead, giving Norman the pin.

Rating: D. Well that happened, and unfortunately this is going to be what Norman is best remembered for. Yeah he’s a talented wrestler and a solid trainer, but the thing he’s most well known for is screaming and crying. Unfortunately this is going to get even worse for him in coming months, but to be fair it’s funny at times.

Here’s Ric Flair to yell about Eric Lindros and the Filthy Animals. He’s been in this sport for a long time now and knows David can be great if the Animals will just leave him alone. Cue the Animals to beat up Ric, as well as David on a save attempt. The Animals rip Ric’s clothes off and steal his jewelery because they’re heroes.

Elizabeth is out back with a guitar next to her head. I bet she did it.

Total Package vs. Goldberg

Goldberg’s trunks say Team Obake on the back, which is apparently an MMA thing. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Goldberg getting the better of it, as you would expect. They head inside with Luger scoring with some ax handles to the back but Goldberg no sells a suplex. A big superkick drops Luger as this is starting to resemble a match. Goldberg throws him over with a half butterfly suplex but misses the spear in the corner. Luger keeps the offense going with a running clothesline as I’m amazed that some of his matches with Flair were only eleven years earlier.

An elbow drop gets two but Goldberg nails a flying shoulder to take over again. More heavy forearms have Luger in trouble but the referee gets bumped because what would a wrestling match be without that? Here are the high Outsiders again to keep up an unfunny angle (security around here sucks) but Sting runs down with the bat to lay out Goldberg. Cue a limping Bret to nail Sting with the bat but he breaks it over the ring post. Bret and Sting get inside with Hart putting on the Sharpshooter as I feel like I’m watching Raw. Everything breaks down and it’s the spear and Jackhammer to end Luger.

Rating: D-. Luger is the definition of a wrestler who has his position because he used to be good at this. At least Hogan was easy to hate. Luger on the other hand is just a guy with big muscles who hits people in the back and occasionally uses a torture rack. The cough syrup thing continues to be a waste of time but that’s the case with a lot of Russo ideas. The match was your usual bad brawling before we got to the angle for another Russo signature.

Tony promises that this is just the beginning to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh sweet goodness we’re in for a long ride. You can see Raw here but minus people like Rock, Austin, HHH, Edge and Christian and the Hardys and with shorter matches and less logic than the Corporate Ministry. I didn’t even mention the shots of people walking in the back, which is a trend that continues to this day. Why do I need to see someone walking through the back? Just say what’s coming next and save some time.

This is still in the transition phase between booking plans, but instead of letting the transition happen naturally, the old stuff was ripped up and put in its new pot. That makes for a very awkward show and you can see the fans dying from exhaustion about an hour into the show. I’ll give them this though: it was NOT boring. It didn’t make sense half the time and felt like a parody of a bad wrestling company than a show trying to compete, but it was not boring.

On top of that, the pay per view was barely mentioned outside of Hogan vs. Sid. I have almost no idea what the card is for Sunday, but I have a feeling that’s universal in WCW. Finally, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE OUTSIDERS BEING HIGH ON COUGH SYRUP??? What a bizarre show, but it’s going to get much, much worse.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XII
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is all about Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart. The main event is an hour long Iron Man Match with Bret defending against the absolutely on fire Shawn Michaels. Since returning last May, Shawn has hit a stride where he is without a doubt the best in the world. There’s almost nothing else on the entire card other than Undertaker vs. Diesel as the Streak finally has a big match included. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the dream of the champion (to stay on top) and the challenger (to rise to the top of the mountain). They make the match feel like a very big deal which is the right idea. Good stuff.

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Camp Cornette is Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog and if they lose, Yoko gets five minutes alone with Cornette. Of all the music for the faces to come out to, they pick Yoko’s? The monsters brawl to start and Yoko takes him down with a clothesline. Another one sends Vader to the floor and Ahmed hits a big dive over the top to take Vader down again. Back in and they slug it out some more before it’s off to Owen. Yoko is so fat here it’s amazing that he can move.

After Owen gets beaten up a bit it’s back to Vader for more hard shots to the head. Vader pounds him down to the mat but Yoko is able to get over to Ahmed for a not hot tag. Johnston starts cleaning house on everyone until Vader gets in a shot from behind to take him down. A jumping senton misses Ahmed though and a flying clothesline puts Vader down.

We settle down to Johnsn vs. Bulldog with Ahmed loading up the Pearl River Plunge (Tiger Bomb), only to have Hart hit a missile dropkick to break it up. Owen drags him back to the corner and here’s more Vader. A splash crushes Johnson but there’s still no cover. Back to Owen who is clotheslined down almost immediately and there’s the real hot tag to Jake. Oh and Mr. Fuji is in the face corner with an American flag.

Owen avoids the DDT and Jake charges into a knee in the corner. Bulldog puts on the front facelock so the fans chant USA. At least most of the face team is made in America this time. Back to Vader for the hard clothesline and a slam, followed by a top rope elbow from Owen. That gets two so Owen cranks back on both of Jake’s arms for a bit. Bulldog comes in but the powerslam only gets two as well. It was a clean kickout too which is pretty odd to see.

Vader comes in for a splash but THAT only gets two as well. The fans don’t seem all that interested in this though. Bulldog tries a splash of his own but Roberts rolls away to buy himself some time. The other hot tag brings in Yoko to face Vader with the latter being punched down in the corner. Yoko cleans house on all three villains and crushes Bulldog with a belly to belly. The DDT hits Owen but Jake has to take out an interfering Cornette. Jake loads up the DDT on Cornette but Vader runs him over and the Vader Bomb is finally enough to pin Roberts.

Rating: C. Nice tag match here but the crowd doesn’t seem interested in the show so far. Hopefully they’re just saving it up for the main event which is the only match that matters on the entire show. Johnson looked good and would get pushed to the Intercontinental Title soon after this. The other guys all looked like themselves.

We recap Piper vs. Goldust which was supposed to be Razor vs. Goldust but Razor got in trouble for drugs. The idea is that Goldust is in lust with Piper but the REAL MAN Piper will have none of this gay stuff. The result is a Hollywood Backlot Brawl which is exactly what it sounds like: stupid.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

This was taped earlier in the day. Goldust shows up in a gold Cadillac while Piper has a ball bat in hands. Naturally he puts that down and sprays the car with a fire hose. When the power of WATER doesn’t stop a large car, Roddy breaks through the windows with the bat. Piper beats up Goldust with the bat and some stiff looking shots with fists and various metal objects.

Goldust gets sprayed with the hose and rammed into the hood of the car. There’s a knee drop from Piper which mainly hits car followed by a LOUD punch. A low blow stops Piper so Goldie gets in the car and runs over a stuntman in a Piper costume. Goldust drives away so Piper steals a white Ford Bronco and we get a car chase which we’ll return to later. I’ll save the rating for the end of part two later on.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Austin debuted late last year and is the Million Dollar Champion at this point. Savio was Austin’s first feud in the WWF, which says a lot about how far Stone Cold would jump up the card in just a year. Savio says he’s ready. Vega pounds away to start and they brawl to the floor. Back in and Austin gets in a shot to the face before sending Savio’s shoulder into the post. This is back when Austin could MOVE as he didn’t have a bad neck so the offense is very different. He’s also ripped with well defined abs.

Austin cranks on the arm but Savio backflips out and hits a superkick for two. Roddy calls in and says he’s not letting it end this way. Savio goes shoulder first into the post again and we lose Piper. What a shame. We hit the armbar as Austin is in full control. There’s a hammerlock slam as Piper is back on the phone and talking about beating Goldust up in Tijuana. Vega comes back with a fast cross body for two but Austin comes back with the Thesz Press which doesn’t mean anything for him yet.

We go split screen to show “Piper” chasing Goldust in the Cadillac. This is from the air because clearly a helicopter is available in 10 minutes’ notice. This is supposed to be a parody of the O.J. Simpson car chase, which was only two years earlier. Austin goes up top (I told you he was different) but jumps into a boot. There’s a clothesline to put Austin down but a spinwheel kick hits the referee by mistake. DiBiase slides in the Million Dollar Belt and Vega is KO’d. Another shot to the back of the head and a chinlock of all things are enough for Austin to get the win.

Rating: C+. Bad Piper references aside, this was pretty solid stuff. Austin was AWESOME back in the day before he had to basically invent the brawling style that he made famous. Vega wasn’t much out there, but at least he was good enough to make Austin look solid. This was a fun match, but again no one cared because the main event and one other match are all that matter.

More car chase stuff. Vince: “This footage looks awfully familiar.”

We recap the Undertaker’s mind games with Diesel lately that set up the other big match tonight. Diesel says Undertaker is a big obstacle but he doesn’t sweat the big things.

More car chase stuff.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Ultimate Warrior

HHH debuts Sable as his latest good looking valet. This is Warrior’s latest return and the story was he might weigh 400lbs and be bald. Warrior of course is fine and the fans go nuts for him. Warrior’s entrance is far longer than the match. HHH jumps Warrior before he takes his coat off and and actually hits the Pedigree. That goes nowhere though as Warrior is on his feet at the same time HHH is. Clotheslines, shoulder blocks, press slam and splash mean we’re done. The match didn’t even last two minutes.

We go to the back and meet the debuting Marc Mero. He talks about being glad to be here when HHH comes up (with Mero’s real life wife Sable) and a brawl erupts.

Piper is on his way back to the arena.

Diesel vs. Undetaker

So Diesel cost Undertaker a title match so Undertaker pulled Diesel through the ring during a cage match for the title against Bret. Then Taker did his usual mind games against Diesel, setting up this battle of the titans. Diesel jumps him to start and the brawl is on fast. Taker clotheslines him down but misses an elbow drop. They fight to the floor with Diesel going face first into the steps. This is fast paced stuff so far.

Back in and Diesel avoids Old School, only to get stunned on the top rope. We head back to the floor where Undertaker’s chair shot hits the post instead of Diesel. Diesel rams him back first into the post and then does it again for good measure. Back in again and Diesel slows things up by punching Taker in the face a few times. Snake Eyes (actually called that by Vince) hits and there’s the running crotch attack in 619 position to Undertaker.

The Dead Man starts slugging back and they both hit big boots to put each other down. Taker sits up first but Diesel hits him in the back to get control again. Off to the bear hug that you knew was coming sooner or later. Taker finally fights out of it and things slow down again. Notice that the fans are into this one, unlike anything in the first hour of the show. Taker hits a clothesline off the top for a somewhat delayed two count.

Out of nowhere Diesel hits the Jackknife but he can’t follow up. Actually he can but he would rather stand around and brag for awhile. Taker sits up so there’s another Jackknife for good measure. Diesel takes forever to cover though and Taker grabs him by the throat. They get to their feet and it looks to be chokeslam time, only for Diesel to break it up with a belly to back suplex. Taker sits up again and there’s the running clothesline. A pretty bad chokeslam puts Diesel down and the Tombstone makes Undertaker 5-0.

Rating: B-. For what it was, this was pretty solid stuff. Undertaker looked better than he usually does and it was really in doubt if he could hang with someone that had just come off a year long world title reign. This was probably the turning point for the Dead Man from monster of the week slayer to big time threat to anyone. He would soon be tested by a debuting Mankind, which would change his career forever.

Goldie and Piper get back to the arena so let’s get this over with. Goldust is back first and is exhausted from the driving. He and Piper stumble into the arena so I guess the “match” has been going on for an hour now.

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Note that the Hollywood Backlot Brawl is now a wrestling match in a ring in Anaheim. There’s no referee or anything so they’re just going to fight until it ends. Goldust pounds away and hits some shots to Piper’s leg followed by a low blow. There goes Piper’s shirt as you would expect it to. Goldust mounds him and starts pounding away but an attempt at kissing Piper makes the Hot Scot fire back.

Goldie goes up top but gets crotched down again. From his seat on the top rope though, he grabs Piper and kisses him, sending Piper into a frenzy. The fight is on and Piper, the apparent homophobe, grabs Goldust by the crotch. Goldust gets his own clothes ripped off and Piper kisses him. Well sure why not. Anyway Goldust is wearing either women’s lingerie or some kind of S&M stuff so he bails, giving this to Piper.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling so no rating, but I think you can figure out what I thought of it. Goldust, who was Intercontinental Champion at this point, would feud with various midcarders before getting beaten up by Ahmed Johnson for awhile. Piper would be gone like the next day and in WCW in six months.

We recap Michaels vs. Hart which is about two different paths to get to the top of the world. The question is about who is the best, so we’re going to find out in the hour long Iron Man Match.

Shawn says this is about getting to the top of the mountain.

Bret says everything has come to this point and he wants to wake up the next day with the belt.

Gorilla Monsoon is officially in charge again, taking over from Piper.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

In the famous opening, Shawn’s manager/trainer Jose Lothario comes to the ring alone. He gets on the bottom rope and points to the rafters where a spotlight shines. It’s Shawn, dancing atop the rafters and ziplining down into the crowd. The shot from behind him with the flashbulbs going off was one of the most shown visuals in company history for a long time. Bret just walks to the ring because he’s a bit more laid back. Of course this is an Iron Man Match lasting one hour, most falls in that amount of time wins.

Earl Hebner is the referee because there’s no one else that it could be. He reads the full rules to both guys which is pretty cool to hear actually. Vince says that whoever wins the first decision will win the match. It likely helps that he picked the winner. Feeling out process to start with both guys being tentative to get into anything of note. Granted they’re also likely conserving energy.

Shawn easily escapes a pair of headlocks and they trade some more technical stuff. First bit of psychology: Bret blocks a third try at the same headlock counter that Shawn used both times earlier. We head to the mat with the champion in control via a headlock. Shawn fights up and we get a nice technical sequence resulting in Bret being right back in control with a headlock. Off to a front facelock as the announcers debate which man is stronger. That’s a good question actually.

Back to the headlock which is smart this early in a match like this. Shawn gets up again and fires off some armdrags before hooking an armbar. Freddie Blassie and Stu Hart are in the front row. They run the ropes a few times until Bret takes it back to the mat, only to be caught in a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. They go into the corner and Shawn fires off some right hands, only to be sent into the other corner. Shawn is cool with that as he sends Bret to the floor with a headscissors. Fifty minutes left.

Back in and Shawn puts on an armbar but Bret throws him over the top. It’s Shawn though so he skins the cat and hooks the armbar again to put Bret down. Bret comes back with a shot to the ribs and a headbutt to the abdomen to take over. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Michaels escapes with a jawbreaker. There’s a Fujiwara Armbar on the champ but Bret nips up and catches Shawn in a kind of spinebuster.

The Sharpshooter doesn’t work though so he clotheslines Shawn to the floor. The fans aren’t sure what to think of that. Bret heads to the floor and gets sent into the post which makes him stagger into the timekeeper. We’ve got 45 minutes left as Shawn misses Sweet Chin Music on Bret, hitting the timekeeper by mistake and knocking him out cold. Back in and Bret hooks another chinlock as the timekeeper gets stretchered out.

As the chinlock goes on for almost three minutes we see the problem with this match: it doesn’t need to be an Iron Man Match. Yeah it’s kind of cool that it did went an hour but it would have been fine as a regular match that went like 45 minutes or something like that. The drama would have been better too and we wouldn’t have long rest holds like this. I can’t blame the wrestlers for resting like that as it’s not fair to ask them to go nuts for an hour, but it doesn’t make for the most interesting TV in the world.

Shawn finally gets up but can’t get an O’Connor Roll. Instead he hits a dropkick and grabs another armbar to take Bret down. Shawn cranks on the arm even harder with 40 minutes to go. Now we hit the hammerlock as the crowd is pretty silent. Back up and Shawn sends Bret’s shoulder into the post to give him the biggest advantage yet. There’s a shoulderbreaker to the champion followed by a double ax from the middle rope to the shoulder.

Bret starts firing off punches but Shawn comes back with a DDT on the arm. There’s a cross armbreaker but Shawn breaks it after one pull. Now it goes on full but Bret fights up and rakes his boot across Shawn’s face to break the hold. That’s rather heelish no? Back to the armbar but Hart counters into a kind of middle rope hot shot. Shawn fights back but misses a Stinger Splash in the corner, giving Bret his first advantage in a long time.

The bulldog puts Shawn down so Bret goes up top. That’s an odd sight for him and Shawn tries to slam him down, only to get pulled down to the mat by his hair. Bret hit the referee on the way down and we’re at halftime. Shawn comes back with a powerslam for two but a backdrop attempt is countered into a piledriver which gets two for the champion. Bret goes up again but gets slammed down.

Michaels starts speeding things up with a standing hurricanrana but Bret hangs onto the ropes to avoid the superkick. A backbreaker gets two for Shawn but Hart bails to the floor to avoid the kick again. Instead Shawn goes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take the champ down. Back in and Shawn skins the cat, only to get caught in a small package for two. A Perfectplex gets two for Shawn and he hooks a sleeper. Hart gets his arm up on the second drop so Shawn rams him into the corner again.

Michaels charges at Bret but gets backdropped up and over the post and out to the floor in a great looking crash. Bret goes out to get him though which isn’t the brightest idea in the world. Back in and Bret works over Shawn’s injured back before dropping a leg for no cover. We’ve got twenty minutes left and Bret stomps away on the back. Shawn is flipped upside down in the corner and there’s a belly to back superplex for a close two.

We hit the camel clutch for a few minutes before Shawn fights up again. Hart tries a superplex but has to settle for punching a jumping Shawn in the ribs. Michaels gets whipped into the corner and it’s a Flair Flip to the floor where Shawn accidentally kicks Jose in the head. Out to the floor and Bret whips Shawn into the steps, knocking Jose down again. We head back inside with fifteen minutes to go.

A belly to belly suplex gets two for Bret so it’s time for a slugout. An O’Connor roll doesn’t work for Shawn as Bret kicks him out to the floor on the kickout. A suicide dive takes Shawn down again and we’ve got twelve minutes left. Back in again and Bret hits a German suplex for two. They slug it out but Shawn can’t hang with Bret at this point. Hart is too exhausted to follow up though so it’s back to the camel clutch.

Ten minutes to go now and the camel clutch eats up about two of that. It’s off to a regular chinlock with eight minutes to go and Shawn fights up. They clothesline each other down and more time is being burned up. A superplex puts Shawn down again but he STILL manages to block the Sharpshooter. Hart settles for a half crab as the punishment on the back continues. Shawn makes a rope but gets taken down by a backbreaker with five minutes to go.

Bret loads up his middle rope elbow but jumps into a boot to put both guys down again. A dropkick puts Bret in the corner as Shawn gets his nineteenth win according to Shawn. Four minutes to go now. There’s the flying forearm and the nip up (the camera misses it) as Shawn picks up the speed. A jumping back elbow puts Hart down and a top rope spinning ax handle gets two. The top rope elbow hits with two and a half minutes left. A good looking gutwrench powerbomb gets no cover with two minutes to go.

Shawn busts out a moonsault press for two as Bret is trying to hang on. Ninety seconds left and Shawn hits a middle rope rana for two more. Shawn slams him down and goes up top but he can’t follow up with a minute left. Shawn tries another rana but jumps into the Sharpshooter with thirty three seconds left in the match. The place is going NUTS but Shawn amazingly holds out until the time limit expires.

BUT WAIT!

As Bret leaves, Gorilla Monsoon orders the match to continue under sudden death rules. As Bret puts it: why? This was never agreed to and Bret is indeed getting screwed here. The bell rings and Bret is TICKED. He goes after Shawn’s back and hits a big backdrop. Bret whips Shawn into the corner, and in one of two moments that made me jump to my feet when I was watching it live, Shawn jumps over Bret out of the corner and hits Sweet Chin Music to put both guys down. Michaels gets up, tunes up the band, and kicks Bret’s head off for the pin and his first world title.

Rating: B. After an hour and five minutes of this match, there’s one word that can sum it up: LONG. That’s the problem here: it did not need to be an hour long and would have been much better suited as a regular one on one match. Either that or have a few falls in between, as having it be one very long glorified one on one match makes the stipulation seem pretty lame. The psychology is good though and it’s not a bad match by any means. It just could have had over 20 minutes cut out and you could have had the same match, and that’s not a good sign. Oh and what happened to Bret’s shoulder injury?

Bret, ever the mature one, storms off like a baby with the ability to walk as Shawn is awarded the title. Shawn has a very touching moment when he realizes he finally won the title and is very somber. Then he turns into Shawn and goes nuts celebrating which he deserves the right to do.

Overall Rating: C+. The show isn’t terrible but the main problem is that it’s almost a one match show. Now to be fair there’s a five match card (not counting the brawl) and two of the matches are quite good, but the problem is that this was basically a four man show. It’s certainly not terrible, but it feels incomplete due to one match being about half the show. Bret vs. Shawn is worth seeing, but make sure you have a remote in your hand.

Ratings Comparison

Camp Cornette vs. Yokozuna/Jake Roberts/Ahmed Johnson

Original: D+

Redo: C

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Undertaker vs. Diesel

Original: B

Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

I guess it gets better over time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/19/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-12-one-really-long-match-and-not-much-else/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XI
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is one of the dark Wrestlemanias in that it was a very bad time for the company. That being said, the show was very well received and wound up being kind of a saving grace for the WWF. The main events are Diesel defending the title against Shawn (shocking I know) and Bam Bam Bigelow vs. NFL Hall of Famer (not at this point though) Lawrence Taylor. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from every Wrestlemania. That’s a nice idea, especially for back then when you can do this in 90 seconds. Today it would take way too long. Apparently Pamela Anderson, Jenny McCarthy and others are starring in this show. Good to know indeed.

A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful. Nothing wrong with that.

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

I don’t remember if Allied Powers was their official name but it’s Luger/British Bulldog. The Brothers are whatever name you best know the Harris Brothers by, which is most likely the DOA. The timing of this redo is perfect, as their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently Zeb Colter, manager of Jack Swagger. It’s a big brawl to start and the good guys hit stereo powerslams to take over. Bulldog and we’ll say Jacob (partner of Eli) start and there’s the delayed vertical after only a few seconds.

Off to a headlock by the Brit as Vince sounds like he’s in an auditorium for some reason. The Brothers take over with heel power moves and it’s off to Eli for a side slam. A double big boot from the twins puts Bulldog right back down but Bulldog starts firing off right hands. With the referee holding the Bulldog back, the Brothers pull a switch but they switch back just a few seconds later. That’s some high quality leadership there Zeb.

We’ll say Jacob takes too much time on a middle rope elbow so the British guy moves. Hot tag brings in Luger and house is cleaned. There’s a powerslam and the steel forearm smash gets two. Zebekiah interferes and the twins switch again, allowing Eli to kick out of the forearm which didn’t hit him. Not that it matters as British hits a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere. Not that he was legal or anything but who cares?

Rating: C-. This match uh…..exists I guess. Seriously that’s all I’ve got here. It wasn’t a good match or anything but I’ve seen worse. That’s the problem here: it’s so average that it’s barely worth talking about. Luger would be gone in a few months back to WCW, which was the best move as he was doing stuff like this for the next six months or so. Nothing to see here at all and a really odd choice for a match and especially the opener.

Apparently that win deserves fireworks. If that’s the high point of the show, we’re in BIG trouble.

Zebekiah demands justice because the wrong Blu got pinned.

Nicholas Turturro is supposed to interview Pamela Anderson but we have audio difficulties.

Lawler explains football: it’s just like the post office. “Eleven guys spend an hour trying to move a small object 100 yards.” Andy Griffith he is not.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett, the champion, has a manager here named The Roadie who would become Jesse James, making this the ultimate battle of the double initials. This is a rematch from the Rumble where Ramon got counted out but agreed to come back in where he lost the title when his knee gave out. The 1-2-3 Kid is with Razor to counteract the Roadie. Razor decks Jeff to start and the champion immediately heads to the floor. That’s nice of him as it allows Razor’s pyro to go off.

A big right hand takes Jarrett down and Razor clotheslines him out to the floor for good measure. Back in and a sunset flip out of the corner by the champion is blocked by a right hand. Ramon keeps up his barrage of punches by faking Jarrett out and punching him even more. Roadie bails Jarrett out of the Razor’s Edge and the champion regroups a bit on the floor.

Back inside and Roadie cheats a bit with some choking, only to have Jeff miss a charge and land on him. All Razor so far. Back in again and Jarrett hits a swinging neckbreaker and some dropkicks to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before things speed up with both guys getting near falls. Jarrett hooks a sleeper that lasts even less time than the chinlock so Jeff punches him down and hooks another chinlock.

Razor escapes again via a suplex but both guys are down. They get up at the same time and collide to put them down again. That’s a bit of overkill but whatever. Again they get up and a double punch puts them down for a third time. Ramon comes back with more punches and they actually stay up for once. A fallaway slam gets two and there’s the discus punch to put Jarrett down again. The Kid tries to interfere but gets kicked into the barricade.

Razor loads up his middle rope bulldog but misses and lands on his bad knee. The Figure Four goes on and Razor is in trouble. After some interference from Roadie, Ramon turns the hold over but Jeff quickly lets it go. Ramon hits a quick belly to back superplex to put Jarret down and it’s time for the Edge, which draws in Roadie for the DQ.

Rating: C. This match was mainly punches but Razor was so insanely over the he carried the crowd. Jarrett was pretty dull at this point but he would reach all new levels of dull later on in WCW. Razor would finally get the title back in a ladder match on a house show in May, but it would only last for two days. The match here was ok but nothing worth seeing. It was better than the first match though.

Post match Jarrett puts the Kid in the Figure Four.

Jarrett says that was perfectly good conduct for a champion.

Turturro is with Jenny McCarthy and nothing of note is said. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be seen but Shawn pops in to say nothing is wrong. Team DiBiase is behind them planning for later. Sid says Diesel is going down tonight.

King Kong Bundy vs. Undertaker

This is part of the never ending Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Corporation feud. The Corporation stole the Urn at the Rumble and tonight is about revenge and getting the Urn back. Before Taker comes out, Todd Pettingil talks to some football player. The referee is a Major League umpire who is moonlighting because MLB is on strike. Undertaker stares at DiBiase before the bell and Ted drops the Urn.

Taker pounds away to start and hits Young School but he can’t drop Bundy. The jumping clothesline finally puts him down but Bundy knocks him over the top to the floor in retaliation. Taker lands on his feet right in front of DiBiase and takes the Urn back from him. Paul Bearer gets the Urn back but Kama Mustafa (Godfather) comes out to steal the Urn back. This is like a bad comedy.

Taker tries to stop the theft but Bundy jumps the Dead Man, allowing Kama to get it. He says he’s going to melt it down and make it a necklace. Bundy pounds on Taker a bit and slams him down before getting two off a knee drop. We hit the fat man chinlock fot a bit before Taker fights up, only to get caught by the Avalanche in the corner. No selling is done today, and it’s a slam and the jumping clothesline to make Taker 4-0.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a formality for Undertaker as we continue the Urn stealing story for even longer. Bundy was worthless here, other than some long forgotten star power. This feud kept going and never got interesting at all since DiBiase’s team was all lame power guys. Nothing to see here and probably Undertaker’s least interesting Mania match ever.

Turturro still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Instead he finds Lawrence Taylor’s All-Pro team of football players who are here to counter the Million Dollar Team. One of these guys is Mongo, future US Champion. Turturro moves on to find Bob Backlund playing chess with Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Backlund goes nuts when he hears Anderson is missing because he has no idea who she is.

Thomas (a 12 year old actor from Home Improvement at the time) checkmates him so Backlund accuses him of taking advantage of his elders. Backlund asks him three questions (who was the 34^th President, what is the capital of Honduras, and who is Chief Justice of the Supreme Court) which Thomas answers correctly. Backlund: “THAT’S THE TROUBLE WITH YOUTH TODAY!!! THEY THINK THEY KNOW EVERTHING!!!” Crazy Backlund was GOLD.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Bam Bam Bigelow is in the back and we look at the history between him and Taylor. At the Rumble, Bigelow lost in the finals of a tag title tournament and Taylor laughed at him. Bigelow shoved him and Wrestlemania was made. Bigelow doesn’t have anything significant to say here. For some reason Todd Pettingil has headphones on here, presumably because of the audio difficulties. Apparently Lawler accidentally kicked some cords out and the commentary had to be re-recorded later. Maybe that’s what’s going on.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

Backlund says he saw the light and looks crazier than usual.

Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found so changes have been made. Ok then.

Diesel says something that I can’t understand because the audio keeps messing up. This is getting REALLY annoying. The audio is fixed long enough for Diesel to say nothing of note.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas comes out to be timekeeper for the title match. Turturro is ring announcer because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. At least he seems excited to be here though.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

Diesel is defending and Jenny McCarthy comes out with Shawn. Pam Anderson comes out with Diesel to tick Shawn off, even though I thought McCarthy looked better. Shawn tries to jump Diesel but gets backdropped to the floor so Anderson can come in and pose. We actually get going and Shawn is dropped by a right hand. Diesel beals him out of the corner and Shawn is in trouble early.

A big backdrop puts Shawn down and Diesel throws him out to the floor. It’s time to stall until Sid distracts Diesel. That doesn’t work either as Diesel blasts Shawn coming in. Shawn pounds away in the corner but gets shoved away like he’s not even there. A suplex puts Shawn down and Diesel easily throws him out to the floor. Sid’s latest attempt at a distraction lets Shawn get in a few punches and gain brief control.

Diesel is thrown to the floor but Shawn skins the cat to stay alive. A BIG dive off the top takes Diesel down and a baseball slide keeps him down. Shawn tries another baseball slide but Diesel steps to the side, only to accidentally ram himself ribs first into the post. A Sid chant breaks out as Shawn hits a running splash off the apron. They get back in as Sid and Hebner get in an argument which goes nowhere.

Shawn stays on the ribs before getting two off a middle rope bulldog. Back to the injured back/ribs of Diesel we go as the fans are behind Shawn now. A top rope elbow hits the back for two. The champ counters a front facelock into a backdrop and there’s a second one. Shawn sends him into the buckle to slow Diesel down again and there’s a sleeper. The champ escapes and hits a corner clothesline followed by Snake Eyes.

We head to the floor for a second time and Diesel wins a quick slugout. Sid tries to interfere and does nothing at all so we head back inside for a superkick. The referee has hurt his ankle (has there ever been a more prone to injury referee than Earl Hebner? He’s ALWAYS getting hurt) so the kick only gets two. Sid rips a buckle pad off but Diesel suplexes Shawn down before he can do anything about it.

They’re both down now as Hebner’s ankle is strong enough for him to stand up now. Shawn goes to the middle rope for something resembling a dropkick but jumps into a side slam. That was a cool looking catch. Diesel still can’t follow up because of the ribs but he manages to scoop Shawn’s legs out and launch him into (the buckle below) the exposed buckle. A big boot and the Jackknife retain the title as Anderson asks someone if she’s supposed to be clapping now.

Rating: B. It’s good but somehow this won Match of the Year in PWI. For the life of me I have no idea how as it’s not even Shawn’s best match of the year. The rematch would be MUCH better with a typical David vs. Goliath formula. The lack of such a formula here was weird as Diesel, the 7’0 monster, was the underdog. Shawn would turn face very soon after this.

Diesel celebrates with all the celebrities.

Shawn goes on a rant (calling the superkick Chin Music, perhaps for the first time but I’m not sure) about how the referee being hurt cost him the title.

The Million Dollar Team is introduced for the main event: Bundy, Tatanka, Nikolai Volkoff, Kama, I.R.S. and DiBiase himself. We also get the NFL All-Pro Team: Ken Norton, Chris Speilman, Rickey Jackson, Carl Banks, Steve McMichael and Reggie White.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

R&B group Salt N Peppa sings What A Man live for Taylor’s entrance. Pat Patterson is guest referee to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. Taylor is a legit NFL superstar so this is an actual big deal as far as celebrities go. There are a TON of reporters and photographers at ringside plus the two teams so it looks like a lumberjack match. Before the bell, Taylor SMACKS Bigelow in the face and we’re ready to go. Oh and Diesel has been training with Taylor. Remember that.

A big forearm immediately puts Bigelow down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The crowd is losing it over this stuff as Taylor looks GREAT. Back in and a bulldog (decent one too) gets two for Taylor. There’s a hip toss and Bigelow needs a breather. In two minutes, Taylor has already showed more skill and fire than McMichael showed in two and a half years in WCW. Lawrence follows him to the floor and a big brawl almost starts between the teams.

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Taylor fights up again and hits a suplex of all things to give himself a breather. It’s a quick breather though as Bigelow pounds away even more. There’s Bigelow’s moonsault but he “hurts” his knee in the process. Lawrence kicks out at two (ZERO reaction for the crowd for some reason) and it’s time for a comeback. Bigelow ducks his head so Taylor tries something resembling a suplex that was supposed to be a Jackknife.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was nothing short of a miracle. Keeping in mind that Taylor had zero experience coming in there, he looked amazing. They didn’t have most of the problems that most celebrity matches have as Taylor looked like he had actual talent instead of looking like he needed someone to walk him through everything. As a regular match this wasn’t much, but all things considered this was great.

Taylor can barely stand up post match and the team has to help him back. DiBiase goes on a rant to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. You often hear how terrible this show is but it really isn’t that bad. It’s terribly boring and uninteresting for the most part, but there are FAR worse shows out there. The other major problem this show has is that it’s a Wrestlemania. If this show was something like In Your House or even Summerslam it wouldn’t have nearly the bad reputation it does. It’s certainly not good or even decent but it’s FAR better than it’s given credit for.

Ratings Comparison

Allied Powers vs. Blu Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C-

Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: F+

Redo: D

Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Original: F+

Redo: D+

Diesel vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Original: D+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: F+

Redo: D+

Man alive what was bugging me when I watched it the first time? It’s not THAT bad.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/18/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-11-just-get-it-over-with/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Anyone that has read my stuff over the years knows that I believe Wrestlemania X7 to be the undisputed best show ever. This is one of the small handful of shows that I actually think about for awhile before saying X7 is better. On this show are two of the best matches of all time and two world title matches, all without Hogan. This show feels like a major show and it more than lives up to the hype. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from the first Wrestlemania. That still holds up to this day.

Little Richard and a choir sing America the Beautiful. The first version is just Richard but the choir kicks in on the second one, making for an awesome performance.

We recap Bret vs. Owen. Expect to hear the words “we recap” a lot tonight, because there is A LOT of backstory to this show. Back in mid to late 1993, Owen was getting annoyed at Bret getting all of the spotlight, but he went along with Bret and two more brothers on a Survivor Series team against Shawn Michaels and the Knights. The Knights were easily dispatched, but late in the match Owen was knocked into Bret, sending the elder brother (Bret) into the barricade. As his family went to check on him, Owen was rolled up and pinned, making him the only Hart to be eliminated.

This sent Owen into a tirade about how Bret was always hogging the spotlight. Owen challenged Bret to a match but Bret said no way. Instead, Bret offered to team up with Owen to win the tag titles, which was enough to appease Owen. At the Royal Rumble during the title shot, Bret injured his knee and refused to tag late in the match, causing the referee to stop the match due to the injury. Owen finally snapped and kicked Bret’s bad leg out from under him, fully turning heel in an awesome and totally justified moment.

Later in the night, Bret was in the Royal Rumble. He and Lex Luger were the last two men in the match and they both went out at the same time. No one could tell who hit the ground first, so they were declared co-winners. Therefore, both guys get title matches tonight. A coin toss was determined who would get the first shot at champion Yokozuna, which was won by Lex. Therefore, Lex gets a title shot first tonight, but Bret has to face suitable competition so he doesn’t get an unfair advantage in the later match. His opponent is his brother Owen (Luger would have faced Crush is Bret had won the toss). Got all that?

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

For reasons I’m not clear on, the Fink isn’t the announcer tonight. They lock up to start and Owen shoves Bret away, earning himself some celebrating. Bret takes him down to the mat but Owen escapes and celebrates again. Back to the mat for some amateur stuff but Owen grabs the rope. Owen tries to take it to the mat but Bret easily counters to send him out to the floor. Back in and Owen slaps him in the face to fire up his older brother.

More amateur stuff ensues and Owen gets to do his spinning counter to a wristlock, only to pull Bret down by the hair. Bret channels his inner Shawn and nips up before getting two off a rollup. Bret takes over with an armbar and a clothesline to send Owen out to the floor. Back in again and Bret slaps the blonde Hart before rolling him up for two. Bret hooks the armbar again before getting two off a crucifix. We’re about five minutes into this now and there is absolutely nothing to complain about. They get up again and Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick to take over before stomping Bret to the floor.

Owen rams Bret back first into the post as the anger is starting to seep out. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch back inside as Lawler is loving this. Owen yells at his brother in a great touch to the evilness. Bret breaks it pretty quickly but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. A cross body by Owen is rolled through by Bret for two but Owen goes straight to the back again. Owen hits a German suplex for two and drops a leg on the back of Bret’s head for two more.

Bret tries to spin out of a suplex but gets caught in a tombstone. Owen goes up top but misses a swan dive, giving Bret the breather that he’s been needing. Bret starts firing back and gets two each off a clothesline and a Russian legsweep. There’s the backbreaker followed by the middle rope elbow for two more. It’s Sharpshooter time but Owen pops up and hits the enziguri to put Bret down.

Another Sharpshooter attempt is countered by Owen and a rollup gets two on Bret. This is very fast paced stuff. Owen heads to the floor and we get LUCHA BRET as he takes out his brother. He hurts his knee in the process though and Owen is very happy. Back inside and Owen goes for the leg, wrapping it around the post a few times because that’s what villains do. Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock by Owen but he lets it go before too long.

There’s a yet to be named dragon screw leg whip followed by a Figure Four (wrong leg of course) as Bret is in big trouble. Bret reverses and rolls into the ropes to break the hold but his knee is gone. An enziguri finally puts Owen down and buys big brother a breather. A headbutt puts Owen down again and there’s the chest first into the buckle bump for Owen. A bulldog gets two on Owen as does a sweet piledriver.

There’s a superplex for a delayed two as Jerry Lawler is freaking out. A sleeper is quickly broken up by a hidden low blow from Owen and it’s time for the Sharpshooter on Bret. The older Hart slaps the mat but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Bret reverses into a Sharpshooter of his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Owen charges into a boot in the corner so Bret loads up a rollup, but Owen counters into a cradle for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: A+. If there’s a better opening match anywhere, I’d love to see it. This was Owen’s coming out party and he looked excellent in doing it. Bret has no shame in losing here as he didn’t so much get beat as much as he got caught. This set up a great feud over the summer for the title between these two, but it never reached this level again. There was some DEEP psychology going on out there with Bret being hesitant to fight his brother and Owen using the advantage to catch Bret in a wrestling move, all on top of the leg injury. Excellent match and one of the best ever.

Owen says he told us all he could do it and he’s absolutely right.

We look at the Wrestlemania II battle royal.

Sy Sperling of the Hair Club for Men debuts a hairpiece for Fink. I’m thinking no on this one Howard.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

Bigelow tries to crush Dink but Doink makes the save.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here. Somehow I.R.S. gets a spot in the presidential box.

Wrestlemania III was awesome!

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is the result of a big heel turn by Crush where he cost Savage his broadcasting job. The idea was Yokozuna injured Crush but Savage didn’t come visit him, so Crush turned on him. This is a twist on the falls count anywhere match, but the deal is you have to pin someone out of the ring and the pinned guy has 60 seconds to make it back to the ring, making it more like a last man standing match actually. It’s also no holds barred.

Savage charges at Crush in the aisle but gets dropped on the barricade for a pin in about 40 seconds. Of course Savage makes it back in (despite some Fuji interference) but that’s a nice quick introduction to the concept. Savage is put in the Tree of Woe where Crush stomps away. Fuji hands Crush some salt but Randy knocks it into the evil one’s face. A top rope double ax has Crush in trouble and there’s the big elbow, but Savage has to send Crush to the floor before pinning him. Smart indeed. Crush beats the count after Fuji pours some water on his face.

Crush comes back with a kind of hot shot to send Savage to the floor, but Randy immediately comes back by sending Crush into the post. They fight into the crowd where Crush superkicks Savage’s head off. A piledriver doesn’t work on Savage so they fight into the back. Savage rams Crush into various metal objects and gets a pin, but instead of leaving he ties Crush’s feet up with a rope and hangs him upside down. It doesn’t quite work as Crush falls just after Savage leaves, but the clock was running the whole time and Savage wins.

Rating: C. Keeping in mind that this was 1994, this was pretty good. Sixty seconds was too long of an interval as it was too long before the guy was in danger. If they cut it doewn to about thirty, this would have been much better. Either way, not bad here and more proof that Savage was still a very valuable asset to Vince, but for whatever reason (not Stephanie), he was let go.

Fake Clinton says he’s a fan. I.R.S. congratulates him on raising taxes.

We see videos from Fan Fest, which was the forerunner to Axxess.

Savage celebrates with the fans. He also won a tournament for the world title at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai was at the first Wrestlemania if that tells you anything. Blayze is the new champion after the belt was resurrected for no apparent reason. Kai, a Hawaiian/something else hybrid, runs Blayze over but gets caught in a sunset flip a few seconds later for two. Lelani comes back with a chokebomb for no cover but a bad splash gets two.

The champ comes back with a hurricanrana before there was a name for such a thing in America. Either way it gets two and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Kai hits a butterfly suplex for two. Blayze comes back with some basic strikes and some hair drags for two each. Alundra hits her bridging German suplex to retain a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Was there a point to this? I didn’t think so either so let’s see what was stupid about it. First of all, the “division” had two regulars in it: Blayze and a Japanese monster named Bull Nakano. Based on that, it’s pretty clear why the division was done in just a few months, not to be mentioned again for about four years.

Roddy Piper sprayed a non-celebrity with a fire extinguisher at Mania V.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers are defending and have Johnny Polo with them. About a year later, Polo would become Raven. The Men on a Mission are Mabel (Viscera) and perhaps the most worthless wrestler that I can think of at the moment, Mo. They were purple and gold and rap with their manager Oscar. That’s about it. Before the match, here’s some big chested blonde talk show host for Shawn to hit on. Burt Reynolds, pretty clearly bombed, shows up to steal her. From what I’ve heard, Reynolds was the biggest jerk on the planet backstage at this show.

The Quebecers are the Mountie and another Canadian who dress like Mounties. True story: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police yelled at the WWF and said they had to have their song (it might have been just the Mountie actually. Not that it matters) changed to say “We’re NOT the Mounties” because the RCMP was worried about people believing they were real corrupt Mounties. Wait why am I spending this much space on this match?

Anyway the champions jump the Men before the bell but 500lb+ Mabel runs them oveand brings in Mo. Since Mo is the most worthless wrestler I can think of at this moment, he’s easily beaten down and not many people care. Mo is sent to the floor and Pierre backdrops Jacques over the top and onto the worthless one. Back in and a double hot shot gets two on Mo. This is going nowhere.

Mo comes back with a forward roll attack but the tag isn’t seen. Wait yes it is and Mabel cleans house. The champions try a double suplex on the fat man but hurt their backs in the process. They try it again and actually get it to work as Polo celebrates. Pierre hits the Cannonball (assisted Swanton Bomb) for two and Mabel starts firing back. The Men hit their double splash but there’s no referee. END THIS NONSENSE ALREADY! Mabel splashes Pierre on the floor….and it’s a countout.

Rating: F+. There was no structure, there was no flow, Mo is worthless, Mabel is fat and worthless, the ending sucked, and there was entirely too little Johnny Polo. Was there ANYTHING good about this match? Oh wait the suplex was good. To give you an idea of how bad Men on a Mission were, they accidentally won the titles at a house show around this time as Mabel was too fat to get up on a cover and Jacques couldn’t kick out.

Wrestlemania VI had the Ultimate Challenge.

We do the “celebrities” for the first title match. Basically it’s the aforementioned talk show host and a member of New Kids on the Block. Seriously, that’s it. There’s a guest referee though: Mr. Perfect. Now remember last year when Luger knocked out Mr. Perfect? Well there was never any retribution for that…..but I’m sure it won’t mean anything here right?

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending of course and there’s also backstory to this. The idea here is that last 4^th of July, Yokozuna held a bodyslam challenge on board the U.S.S. Intrepid. No one could slam him and the contest was closed, but a helicopter landed on the ship and out stepped Lex Luger. He hit a running forearm and slammed Yokozuna to get the biggest face turn in years. He then went around the country on a bus, begging for a title shot because he was MADE IN THE USA.

Anyway, he got the shot at Summerslam with the catch that it was his ONLY shot. Luger did indeed beat Yoko….by countout. Therefore he was frozen out of the title picture, unless he could win the Royal Rumble. We’ve already covered that though so here’s the first title match. Luger gets a bit intro with fireworks, but do you really think New York City is going to cheer him? Especially with BRET HART in the wings? You should know better than that.

Luger pounds away like any AMERICAN hero worth his (certainly not Japanese) salt. A big right hand sends Yoko out to the floor and there’s an ax handle to the back of the head. Luger busts out a freaking TOP ROPE CROSS BODY for two and a jumping elbow for the same. Since it’s early in the match, a slam completely fails and Yoko falls on top for two. Yoko rips a buckle pad off but we hit the nerve hold for a bit instead. Luger fights out of it but Yoko rams into him to stop any comeback.

Back to el nerve hold which has been running for about five minutes total now. Luger fights up but Fuji pulls the rope down to send him to the outside. Back in and BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. After about 87 years Luger fights up and makes his comeback….only to be knocked down by a chop. Yoko tries to send Luger into Chekov’s buckle but gets sent into it himself of course.

Luger makes his REAL comeback and hits a clothesline to put Yoko down and there’s the “slam” (more like he picked up Yoko and dropped him). The forearm knocks Yoko out but Luger has to beat up Fuji and Cornette. Perfect won’t count so Luger shoves him…AND THAT’S A DQ! Holy screwjob! That’s clearly what the fans are chanting: screwjob, not some other word that starts with s and often comes after holy.

Rating: D+. It’s rare to see Luger as the star of a match but that’s certainly the case here. That nerve hold was RIDICULOUS as it was about 80% of the champion’s “offense”, although a case can be made that he was saving strength for later tonight which is understandable. This was a callback to something that most people didn’t remember, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fair game. Unfortunately Perfect would injure his back again after this and not be able to payoff this feud. Either way, Luger is officially a choker in the WWF and was done as a world title contender after this.

Luger and Perfect yell at each in the back.

At Wrestlemania VII, Savage and Liz reunited. The moment given here is the Blindfold match but screw that.

Here’s Harvey Wippleman to yell at Fink for having a stupid hairpiece. They get in a shoving match but Adam Bomb comes out to scare Fink. This brings out….EARTHQUAKE?

Adam Bomb vs. Earthquake

This is barely a match as Quake hits his powerslam and the Earthquake gets the pin in less than 40 seconds. This is what you call “being way over time and needing to hurry up.” I’m shocked Earthquake had a job at this point.

Cornette goes on a rant against Lex Luger and cats while also calling Todd Pettingill “Petting Zoo” before yelling about Bret Hart. Then he talks about fish and Bret starting a feeding frenzy of sharks. I could listen to Cornette ramble while still staying on point for HOURS.

The Wrestlemania VIII moment is the Undertaker. Seriously, that’s it. No mention of his match, whether he won or lost, his opponent, or anything shown other than a closeup of him walking to the ring. Just the Undertaker.

Ready for some more backstory? Back in 1993, Shawn Michaels was Intercontinental Champion but failed a drug test. To this day Shawn says he didn’t do it but that’s beside the point. We needed a new champion so Ramon won a battle royal and then a match to win the title. Shawn came back with the original belt and said he never lost, so he was still the champion. The solution? Put both belts on a ladder and let them climb up to pull them down in a classic match that might be the match of the decade.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

I.R.S. and company argue in the back, so let’s just cancel a ten man tag. In other words, we’re running long and don’t have time. It happened on Raw the next night and no one remembers it.

Ted DiBiase tries to bribe Mr. President.

Wrestlemania IX’s moment is Fuji throwing salt in Bret’s eyes. We don’t see the pin for some reason though.

Videos on Bret and Yoko set up the main event.

Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer and my goodness he makes Scott Hall look like a poster boy for AA. Oh and Jennie Garth from Beverly Hills 90210 is timekeeper. The guest referee: Roddy Piper (pause for the huge ovation) who may or may not hate Bret because of what happened at Mania 8. Nice touch.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending if you can’t tell. Burt is barely able to read lines off a card. Hart is STILL selling the leg from earlier, because that’s how awesome he is. Yoko jumps Bret to start and the fans are already fired up for this. Bret tries to fire back with some punches but Yoko stomps him down. Piper and Cornette get in an argument as Yoko blasts Hart. The splash misses though and Bret pounds away, only to hurt his head on a headbutt.

Hart actually manages to punch Yoko down and gets two off an ax handle to the back. The champion comes back with fat man offense and drops the big leg for two. A headbutt puts Bret on the floor but he gets back in at eight. Yoko misses a charge in the corner and there’s a bulldog out of the corner to put the big man down. That only gets two though, as does the middle rope elbow. Bret keeps limping and hits the Hart Attack clothesline for a delayed two.

The belly to belly puts Bret down but Yoko won’t cover for no apparent reason. Instead he loads up the Banzai Drop, only to fall victim to the powers of gravity. It knocks the wind out of the monster, allowing Hart to hook the leg for the pin and the title as the roof is blown off of Madison Square Garden for about the fifth time tonight.

Rating: B-. While it isn’t a classic, the fans were WAY into this and it’s a feel good moment to end the show. Bret was fighting a very different kind of match here rather than he did the previous year, as here he was taking it straight to Yoko instead of sticking and moving. Very solid match here all things considered and a great way to get the giant out of the title scene.

The locker room empties out to celebrate with Bret but Owen stands in the aisle and stares down his brother to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the bad stuff is bad, but on the other hand the good stuff is absolutely outstanding. With two of the best matches of all time on one show it’s easily one of if not the strongest Wrestlemanias from an in ring perspective. On top of that, the show had long lasting impact as the company focus shifted to the smaller sized guys and longer matches. This was an excellent show but some of the bad stuff can be fast forwarded.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+

Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-

Redo: D

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F

Redo: F+

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F

Redo: D+

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: A-

I was a bit too nice to the middle part of the show last time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/17/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-10-maybe-the-best-mania-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6